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As ever, our Deleted Comments cup runneth over with Derp, so let’s get right to mopping up the mess left by our banhammered visitors. Our first exhibit comes from one “Kenny Y,” who dropped by our article on Fox & Friends unmasking Hillary Clinton as the REAL culprit in the wiretapping of Trump Tower. “Kenny” eventually had some thoughts about Hillary Clinton, but mostly, he just wanted to know why our blog has such a stupid name:

Lol…Wonkette??? Who the hell thought up that name??

Several people assisted “Kenny” by explaining that blog founder editor Ana Marie Cox thought it up all by herself (we actually have no idea if this is true or not; the website’s first owner, Nick Denton, could just as easily have come up with it), and they even took the time to explain what a policy wonk was. “Kenny” eventually let us know he didn’t much care for the former First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State, because she’s such a dummy:

She is an idiot, no doubt. Maybe not in everyday life, but, in the political world people have came to see her as she really is. An habitual lying, scheming, egotistical, self serving maniac.

“Kenny” also advised us that whether we like it or not, Donald Trump is now OUR president, which is useful information we’ll be sure to file away, as we had not realized this essential fact.

Our story on Louie Gohmert being the Biggest Pussy in Congress — he won’t hold a town hall since that’s how Gabby Giffords got shot, you know — somehow drew the attention of one “Roger,” who didn’t actually have anything to say about the story, but sure went nuts in reaction to another commenter, “Jarod.” “Jarod” said something disparaging about Louie Gohmert’s home territory of east Texas, and “Roger” gave him quite the dressing-down in reply:

  • And you’re the BIGGEST PUSSY on hear; why don’t you just tell everyone that you’re a MODERATOR here, and that you are a PERPETUAL SNOWFLAKE, eh ?
  • And we don’t know where you’re from, TELL US Mr MODERATOR, eh ?

Feels like some context is missing; the guy he was badgering hadn’t claimed to be a moderator at all. We took a look at “Roger’s” comment history, which solved the mystery; he’d followed “Jarod” from a different blog, apparently because he wasn’t finished yelling at him. Wonkette was no more than another backdrop for “Roger’s” eternal pursuit of his nemesis, like Lokai and Bele from that one Star Trek episode which explained racism is bad.

“Roger” is also inordinately fond of calling people names in ALL-CAPS, like JACKASS, IMBECILIC MORON, IDIOTIC SNOWFLAKE TROLLS, LYING A$$HOLE, LibTURD Dyke, MORONIC SNOWFLAKES, IMBECILIC SNOWFLAKE JACKA$$E$, and “DeemoCRAPS!” (We thought the double-e was a typo, but he uses it regularly because it means something to him.) “Roger” also thinks “bovine excrement” is the height of wit. If you scroll through his comments for a little bit, there’s a sort of screamy wingnut Beat poetry vibe to it. After their brief encounter here ended in Yr actual Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator tossing “Roger” out the airlock, he then followed “Jarod” to three different posts at The Hill, and then we guess they ended up electrocuting each other.

Let That Be Your Last Flamewar
Our piece on Andrea Mitchell trying to please get an answer to her goddamn question, please, drew this comment from “WhitewaterMkII,” who was at least kind enough to choose a username indicating he still thinks the Whitewater nothingburger was a Big Deal:

heh, sucks to be MSM hack these days…and make millions at the same time…

Haha, Andrea Mitchell is well-paid, so why should anyone care that the Secretary of State never talks to reporters who are all biased liberal millionaires like her? We’re not sure why “WhitewaterMkII” thinks it’s a bad thing Mitchell is rich, since, he assured us cubicle drones at Wonkette, he is actually fabulously wealthy himself, thanks to a life of hard work and being better than lazy liberal takers. We are all fools, fools he tells us, because we idolize bad rich liberals who deceive us constantly.

  • Just checked the one holer, yep, Andrea is in there fishing around since she dropped her mike in there. Zero voice and access any longer, but she’s still a stinky 1 per center!
  • Obama and the missus only made 65 mil by selling a book of lies. Sucks to be them.
  • I could give a crap, I’m retired, made my stash, and will never have to do anything again in life that I don’t want to. Personally I think it’s hilarious that the people you think are the cats pajamas are the #1 ripoffs of all time and you put them on a pedestal
  • I’m mor than happy with my riches and honor, you can keep the rest…
  • Yeah, I’m a racist Mexican. Ad yeah, that’s me in Croatia (or is it Malta?) downing a frosty. I bought that tikky with my refried beans. No anger here, just more pathetic world wide travel. Enjoy your cubicle!
  • No fun here away, it’s like pulling wings off flies. All it is here is vitriol to anyone without hive think. Enjoy the Matrix drones.!
  • No I came in here and got bored, I usually do with those of the minds of 14 YO schoolyard talkers
  • Hmmmm, have a great attorney, a super smart investment counselor, a dynamite accountant, all my bankers know me by my first name, a platinum health plan and a brilliant travel agent. Thanks anyway, I don’t think I need much more help.
  • Sorry, kiddo, every word above is true. Enjoy your cubicle!

It was awfully nice of him to take some time from his world travels to come down to Loserville and enlighten us poor slobs we’ve been played for fools by his fellow rich people. Still, the best thing about having a lot of money is that you don’t need to give two shits about anyone else, which is why the economic policies of the Obama administration and those of the Trump administration are exactly the same, sheeple. We’d surely see that, had we reached the heights of success like WhitewaterMkII has achieved! Guess we’ll just stew in class hatred instead.

Would you believe we still have some Grade-A Stupid left over from the outpouring of angry on that piece about James O’Keefe’s brilliant takedown of CNN? As you’ll recall, O’Keefe proved the network’s liberal bias with several clandestine recordings of office talk from eight years ago, including one in which an editor cited the century-old line that a newspaper’s job is to “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” Our making fun of O’Keefe inspired a multi-topic rant from “youse,” who was just sick of all the liberal bias, and of pretty much everything they could drag in:

I do not understand the sarcasim, the Fake outrage,at what this journalist has uncovered. We all know that CNN is biased, corrupt and filled with hate, followed by MSNBC. Fox is starting to mimic. I really cannot believe the stupidity (as pointed out to us by Obama, faker in cheif, and his framer of the disasterous Obamacare, Jonathan Gruber) of so many of the American voters. We were all in the hands of the progressives for eight years and the most corrupt administration our country has endured, yet liberals bought into every lie that ever came out of the Whitehouse during those eight years and lifted up their idol, Barack Obama. He was not impeached because he was black. What a brilliant tactic of the progressives to use him for their ideology! Anyone caught disagreeing would be branded a racist. More than half of legal American voters endured those eight years as adults. How do you all like our new every day living with Obama and his progressives preventing President Trump from having the same curtesy given the last inept president. Just love all the phony protests, the hatred, the lack of respect, the yelling and screaming and the FAKE atmoshpere from stirring ignorant people to false anger. Do you really love hating for no good reason so much? Do you really love making the rest of us suffer becausew e do not give in to your every baby need? Most of you Obamaites are just like him, crass, hateful, rude, immature. What a joy.

I guess it’s just hard to get through your juvenile rant. You are certainly not a journalist. Very boring, as all rantsa re because it is just an outlet to your pent up anger because you are a mediocre human looking for attention. Please don’t give up your assembly line job.

You guys remember all that Obama corruption, don’t you, which was never prosecuted simply because he was black — and if there’s one thing the American justice system fails at, it’s putting black men in prison. We sure wish we could stop being such haters and talk about politics in a calm tone like “youse.”

From “Vinny Vaselino,” we received another warning against being hateful:

Typical intolerant liberal loon. What’s up with all the visceral hate for people that don’t agree with your failed ideology? Did you just find out that the world does not run on rainbows and unicorns tears? Go find your safe place in your transgender bathroom snowflake.

Sign us up for some of that love and kindness, yessir! And yet another sermon on tolerance from “Aj Wallace”:

It’s only trolling if it’s not true. You goofy liberals are indeed useless, horribly confused, naive trash.

If you don’t think so then you need to stop protesting when people you don’t agree with are due to speak & remove those of your kind that give the rest of us the opinion that you are a useless lot.

“Uncle Dave” weighed in with this critique of our piece on James O’Keefe’s attempted journamalism: Something something YOU LOST GET OVER IT!

They are still living in the delusion that Hillary Rodham some how won because NYC and LA voted for her… The rest of the country (Electoral College) doesn’t matter.

in the mean time, they are trying to marginalize any thing that may expose their Great and Powerful Oz Show from behind the curtain. 99% of the news media, that is directly or indirectly controlled by George Soros is quickly being exposed and they surely don’t like that…!

After a tap with the Banhammer of Loving Correction (© and ™ John Scalzi), he was back, as “Uncle Dave 2,” to point out that we clearly couldn’t handle the truth:

Thanks Zoomy… No better way to win an argument than to BAN the other side.

I guess you’re afraid of any honest interaction. Maybe you know that you HAVE NO ARGUMENT so you crawl in to your safe-space and BAN any differing opinion.

And it’s truly amazing how controlling you and this website are. You’re showing your Marxist/Communist leanings. Like Hillary having such tight controls on her news image.

So, Bye, Bye Snowflake. I hope you get out of your Mother’s basement someday.

Guess he got us there — we couldn’t handle the intellectual heft of his comment, so we banned him like the communists we are. If only we were interested in an honest debate of how George Soros personally controls 99% of the news media!

“Bill” offered this dire warning to a Wonker who predicted a wingnut rant would likely end up in the weekly deleted comments column:

Be careful what you wish for.. Some are just waiting for you fools to destabilize things and are waiting to clean up the mess and those that made it.. It’s going to make your little Berkley “protest” look like child’s play.

No one is buying the bull dung anymore so you might as well just go home and hide in your little safe space, forever.. Pull the rock back over the top of you while you are at it. We like a clean unblemished world here and ilk like you are no longer welcome.

You are the boy whole cried wolf and guess what, the wolf is here and no one hears your screams of desperation anymore.

That’s going to happen if someone earns a spot in Dear ShitFerBrains? Mercy — we had no idea the Republic was so subject to being destabilized by our little Sunday feature.

Finally, there was “cassisanass.” We’re not sure what cass ever did to piss this person off — who went from zero to wackaloon in an astonishingly small number of posts. They started by asking why, if Yr Wonkette really thinks James O’Keefe is such a lousy journalist, we keep posting stories about him?

“Poor irrevelant ” yet you have 3 or 4 stories linked to him ? And seemed to be obsessed with trying to take him out. My dad flew bombers in WWII and they used to say “when you are getting the most flak you are close to being over the target. Bombs away! ” Plus James almost singlehandedly took down acorn.

Never take yourself, or anyone else, too seriously. Yuk yuk your real world, Websters real world, Trumps real world, my real world, osamas real world. 72 virgin real world? “One who holds his own self importance as if afraid of breaking its real world?

We replied by thanking “cassisanass’s” father for his service, and by pointing out that we make fun of O’Keefe precisely because he is so hilariously inept and dishonest, but has convinced plenty of people to give him plenty of money for producing such garbage. Flak? More like cream pies. Oh, but “cassisanass” wasn’t fooled, though they appreciated the civil tone of our reply:

I must ask again what the definition of “irrelevant ” is to you guys that

Link stories ,,,
give credit. And seem obsessed with this guy. Even credit for taking down Obamas old employer acorn. And I would also say to doc zoom thanks for respecting my dad. They were just out of high school, got 20 hours of flight instruction and had to solo and then learn how to go to war against old Adolph and co. I was a young buck, grew up in the sixties, fell asleep at the wheel and rolled the car that we were going to Woodstock. Was a lib. Still am a classic lib. But I am a musician, build instruments. Woodworking for people you would know or know their name. Where did we part ways. I love the Truth. Only agenda. Must say, have run my own bidness ( my grandpa ) for 45 years, so I might not love the gov as much as you

Any.way Thanks for more civility than I expected. You can teach an old dog

Yes, another of those “classic liberals” who spends most of their time at Breitbart and believes George Soros is behind everything. We aren’t sure John Stuart Mill ever addressed those sneaky one-world government billionaires who REALLY run things. We noted that O’Keefe largely “brought down” ACORN through videos full of deceptive editing, and that one of the people he misrepresented sued for defamation — O’Keefe settled for $100,000 (Also, no, ACORN was never Barack Obama’s “employer,” though he did argue a voting rights case in which they were the lead of six plaintiffs). O’Keefe was sued? Big deal, “cassisanass” confidently replied:

Anyone can bring up bogus lawsuits . Make an honest look at Al Sharpton, or Jesse nnnJackson to know about the shakedown street that brother Jerry Garcia was trying to warn you about

Bogus lawsuits that result in $100K payouts are a tad rare, we’d suspect. Especially when they include the defendant issuing an apology to the plaintiff for “any pain suffered by Mr. Vera or his family.”

After a day or so, “cassisanass” returned, apparently having read up on O’Keefe’s recent great success in getting a couple of Democratic consultants — who were not part of the Clinton campaign, but worked for pro-Clinton groups — to quit their jobs after he caught one bragging about dirty tricks and the other seeming to be open, maybe, to fraudulent voter registration, if you interpret the jump-cuts the way O’Keefe wants you to. For some reason, “cassisanass” only mentioned the second guy, Robert Creamer (who resigned from Democracy Partners), not Scott Foval, who quit Americans United For Change after all his unsubstantiated bragging about coordinating disruptions of Donald Trump’s Chicago rally. Maybe “Creamer” is a better name to make fun of:

  • I was eating mushrooms with Robert Creamer, and we were talking about how irrelevant old James O’Keefe is. Sorry, it won’t happen again
  • Robert Creamer. Hillary Clinton puppet.
  • Look into it. Much fraud. Clinton. Creamer.
  • Dip the tip

    Of my truth arrows in honey so you guys won’t have to invent definitions. Irrevelant ? NPR. Creamer. Okeefe now redefine irrevelant for. What you say? Rednecks, oh trumpets. Still, you do protest too much [odd line break in original — Dok Z]

By now, poor “cassisanass” was no longer even making much sense, so it was time for a mercy banning. Still, credit where it’s due: “Dip the tip of my truth arrows in honey” sounds like dialogue from the Log Lady on Twin Peaks, and that was a fine note to go out on. The owls are not what they seem. Dip the tip of my truth arrows in honey.

Want to keep Yr Wonkette knee deep in pie, damn fine coffee, and liberal bias? We’re ad-free now, so we need your generous donations! One day our log will have something to say about this.

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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I have invented a elaborate fanastical universe in my head where Hiliary is president and everything is ok. Theres also catgirls there too

      • Catgirls are awesome

        • puredog

          Do they wear pajamas?

          • theCryptofishist

            Just the tops. No one wears pants in Alexander’s universe.

      • Doug Langley

        I like your universe. When can I visit?

        • Alexander Stallwitz

          Just think real hard and believe. Theres also airships and jetpacks

    • puredog

      D’accord.

  • RobKanC

    Second!!! (previously First)

  • Shibusa

    At the end of his rant, “youse” wrote: Very boring, as all rantsa re because it is just an outlet to your pent up anger because you are a mediocre human looking for attention.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/2iBsieTJ3eO1q/giphy.gif

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m steeling that.

  • TJ Barke

    Who knew there were so many scumbags, idiots, fascists, and fucking nazis in America that want to destroy everything that makes it worthwhile and want to prevent it from living up to it’s true potential?

  • msanthropesmr

    Huh. One hopes that the Heart of Gold doesn’ta ccidentally on purpose pick these stragglers up after their catapult from the airlock.

    • Querolous

      That is an Infinite Improbability .

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    heh, sucks to be MSM hack these days…and make millions at the same time…

    Um, WhitewaterMkII? IDGAF about Andrea Mitchell–I care that the SoS isn’t even competent enough to give canned answers to basic questions FFS.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/842b9983e8b7f454e38913f56957fefb40413e0e65f14222f00f7b99cdbbb38a.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    No fun here away, it’s like pulling wings off flies. All it is here is vitriol to anyone without hive think. Enjoy the Matrix drones.!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/93f1b67132de7b5c742468f820bb2bf2bdf00dbc1d5e52dd4c52f37c8a4286a3.jpg

  • msanthropesmr

    Creamer is really bad in coffee, with honey. I prefer my coffee black.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Wow…that’s intense. I drown my coffee with chocolate soy milk. But whatever gets us through Spring forward works!

    • Mary Sandoras

      True Confessions: Yesterday I saw something shiny in my refrigerator and ended up pouring sakki in my coffee instead of cream. Zero stars, would not recommend.

  • therblig

    i missed whitewatermkii – did he at least tell us about his super hot wife and 10″ penis?

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Wait, wait…you mean to tell me a troll stalked some other troll from blog to blog? Who does that??? Red-pill nut jobs who live in the basement & don’t have a girlfriend? Professional Russian trolls? Ain’t nobody (with a life) got time for that!

    • doktorzoom

      Not quite, “Jarod” is a plain ol’ liberal (though a bit of a one-line nitpicker), and “Roger” is the aggrieved wingnut who followed him from blog to blog. I honestly didn’t look at “Jarod’s” comment history to see whether he took the bait, so the Bele/Lokai comparison may be less than 100% accurate.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Ok, so the RWNJ troll followed the liberal guy…got it ;) Thanks for clearing that up!

        Can I also mention that Shit-fer-brains Sunday is highlight of my week? When you have to deal with trolls and/or RWNJ’s in real life, it’s quite refreshing to be able to sit down on a Sunday afternoon & laugh at them.

        • I laugh at them in real life now, too. Keeps em worried ^.^

          • MeerkatsRMammals

            I laugh at them in real life too…on occasion…only because I know these people are truly crazy & I enjoy living too much.

        • doktorzoom

          We are happy to be servicey :)

  • Reality Kills

    Just get over with it and rename the GOP the Nazi Party.

    • msanthropesmr

      At least Nazism was an ethos.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “How about the Snazi party (snazzy not snotsy)”
      — Frank Luntz, having an off day

  • memzilla Ω

    If you scroll through his comments for a little bit, there’s a sort of screamy wingnut Beat poetry vibe to it.

    Jack Kerowackjob? Neal Asshattady? William S. Ratburrows?

    • msanthropesmr

      Frank O’Hateya

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Hey YOUSE guys? Hopefully you’re old enough to remember The Electric Company…

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Meanwhile in Britain, a right-wing twitter troll found herself in court. (Spoiler Alert: It didn’t end well for her.)
    https://www.theguardian.com/media/2017/mar/10/jack-monroe-wins-twitter-libel-case-against-katie-hopkins

    • I am of two minds about this. On the one hand, HAHAHAHAH. On the other…freedom of speech. But then if they lead to death threats…..

      • Ghenghis McCann

        I’ve always agreed with whoever it was that said that Freedom of Speech doesn’t give you the right to shout “Fire” in a crowded theatre.

        • doktorzoom

          Alan Dershowitz, I think, wrote a pretty good Atlantic essay in the ’80s explaining that if a real court case addressed that, yelling “fire” in a crowded theater might well be Constitutionally protected today.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            The only thing that can save us from a bad guy shouting “Fire” in a crowded theatre, is a good guy shouting “Fire” in a crowded theatre.

          • puredog

            Yes? And does he have an opinion about Bataclan?
            I love-hate Dershowitz, which suggests that he’s doing it right.

      • ltmcdies

        well this isn’t really free speech as much as somebody being held accountable for their incorrect and careless speech

        I have no problems with people being held accountable for what they say.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Freedom of speech means ONLY that the government cannot take away your right to say what you want. It doesn’t mean you can defame and slander others and they can’t sue you for it. And, we’re talking about not-America, which isn’t ruled by our constitution anyway.

        • True, but the principle of taking a freedom of speech thing to a court where, indeed, that is government interference.
          I mean slippery slope and all that.
          But yeah in this case it is less freedom of speech and more this lady was A Idiot who refused to say whoops my bad

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Definitely A Idiot, being English and presumably aware of the heavy penalties for libel under English law.

          • She really just should have went my bad, sorry and been done with it.
            Why do wingnuts always feel they have to double down about everything?

          • Liberoid Ron

            Because they cannot bear the thought of being told they were, you know, wrong.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    I’m mor than happy with my riches and honor, you can keep the rest…

    He’s rich and happy but he’s been forced to cut back on silent ‘e’s. I blame the exorbitant ACA taxes.

  • OneYieldRegular

    If you scroll through his comments for a little bit, there’s a sort of screamy wingnut Beat poetry vibe to it.

    IMBECILIC MORONS AND SNOWFLAKE TROLLS,
    LibTURD DYKES AND LYING A$$HOLES,
    DeemoCRAP JACKA$$E$
    $UCKING ON THUMB$
    BOVINE EXCREMENT
    ON MY BONGO DRUM$
    HEY JANE,

    GET ME OFF.

    THIS CRA$Y THING.

    CALLED DERP.

    • Martini Ambassador

      They call me libturd
      they call me asshole
      they call me jackass
      they call me snowflake
      That’s not my name!
      That’s not my name!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI

    • proudgrampa

      It has a beat. Can’t dance to it, though.

    • Liberoid Ron

      <snaps his fingers> Cool, man.

  • Who is taking bets about if White Water fellow actually lives in a trailor, his healthcare is medicare and his lawyer works behind a bondsbailsman?

    • PubOption

      If he has a platinum health insurance plan, it would imply that he was being covered under the ACA, although I think that very few platinum-level plans are now offered.

  • DahBoner

    I’m mor than happy with my riches and honor, you can keep the rest…

    Mor or Les.
    https://media2.giphy.com/media/4LYu6AdbJmpri/giphy.gif

    • Msgr_MΩment
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Dammit! Ricky only wants to get high all day & eat some JAL-AP-ENO chips ;)

    • Weevie

      Squeeze mayo, yum yum!!!

    • puredog

      That looks like Pennzoil, but it’s hard to say. . .

      • theCryptofishist

        And how would you know, hmmmm?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Did you just find out that the world does not run on rainbows and unicorns tears?

    Don’t be silly, Vinny Vaselino: it’s rainbow tears and unicorns that the world runs on!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6014928bfb576011f1428184401c25f1db010e62cfea05390fb9efab4ad69f3e.jpg

  • TJ Barke
    • janecita

      Thank you, I just stole it!

      • TJ Barke

        It’s just about always appropriate these days.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          I’m stealing it as well. Pretty sure I’ll have numerous opportunities to use it!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Fox is starting to mimic.

    They’ve noticed. Even their own propaganda network can’t stomach the corruption of the new administration. Now they’re stuck with the alt-right in Nowheresville, forever.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    They are still living in the delusion that Hillary Rodham some how won because NYC and LA voted for her

    Do you want to tell this one that Orange fucking County voted for Hillary, or shall I?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/042f95b248360b3b25270ffb53a30c6cb7c6de536119527ad38af8afad2c0aac.jpg

  • janecita

    WhitewaterMkII still uses a travel agent?

    • He has not traveled in 10 years.
      Gonna be fun to see how much he changes his tune when he loses his golden medicare

    • MizzMazz

      Got to admit, I use a travel agent if I’m going abroad, or doing something I’m not familiar with. like the cruise I just got back from. I am happy to ask for help when I need it.
      This Whitewater guy, however, sounds like a complete tool and liar. He talks like a poor person thinks rich people talk.

      • janecita

        Last time I used a travel agent was in 2000. I’m good at finding great deals, that’s my big claim to fame among my family and friends:-) We do one big trip a year, and a couple of small ones.

        • MizzMazz

          I will hit you up next time I need advice :D. My beloved is very versed in hotels, stuff I never knew before I met him. There’s lots of good resources out there to make travel easier and better, but nothing beats talking to someone who has done it.

          • Jamoche

            Yeah, I’d rather hand off all the hassle to someone who knows the system. The DIY system is only effective if you don’t care that the cheapest cross-country flight has 3 layovers, or whether the hotel is anywhere near where you want to be.

          • janecita

            Anytime:-) I actually enjoy doing it.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Everything I know about being rich I learned from Uncle Moneybags and Scrooge McDuck.”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Perzackly.

    • BosGrl

      Travel agents and check registers… hanging on by a thread.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    It’s seems to apropos today to point out that if we can’t even get rid of a provably dumb idea like Daylight Saving Time(*), then we’re stuck with the Electoral College and the derps who love it, forever, aren’t we?

    (*)Daylight Savings Time is technically incorrect but more commonly used, which only further illustrates my point?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I forgot to move all my hours from my Daylight Checking Account into my Daylight Savings Account. When will I be able to access them again?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Next fall, I think.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I don’t trust the Time banks, I just keep my Time in a Bottle

      • puredog

        Never, you’ve lost them, they are gone, and I hope this is a lesson to you.

    • They only love it when it works for them.
      The second it does not they will be SCREAMING to get rid of it

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Or, “You’re using it wrong!” see for example, the Supreme Court nomination process.

    • puredog

      I have had newspaper delivery problems lately. This morning, when no paper had arrived by 9:10 am, I went online and claimed credits to both my local and NYT accounts. My delivery people then called me. They tried to gaslight me, first, that they were not subject to the time change. They also argued that, as a result, papers arriving at 9:10 were, therefore, functionally 10 minutes later than “the usual time.” (The facts are that 8am — even setting aside their idiotic clock position — is the absolutely latest guaranteed on-time delivery, not “the usual time.”) I know, I know, first world problems, but since I have this puppy, I tend to get up super-early these days, and would rather look at newsprint than at a glowing screen.
      /rant

      • Latverian Diplomat

        FWIW, I read that Amtrak trains are instantly one hour late, when they timz change hits, and just have to try and make up the difference as quickly as they can.

        It’s a crazy system.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    You guys remember all that Obama corruption, don’t you, which was never prosecuted simply because he was black

    The fact that there were no major resignations over scandals in the Obummer Administration is solid proof that you can get away with anything if you’re black.*

    *Yes, Sheldon, that was irony.

    • TJ Barke

      Pretty sure it’s mostly because there was no corruption, it’s not like there weren’t tons of little right wing shitstains gunning for it, yet nothing at all came of it. But then, I can actually use actual logic.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Well, Tim Geithner would like to point out that even though he may not have done anything technically illegal, he put the banks before homeowners every chance he got.

        • TJ Barke

          Yeah, but generally right wingers are okay with that kind of shit.

        • mmm does Tim also point out that is because the anti-regs were so fucked up that if he let the banks fail even MORE homeowners would have gone belly up so he was trying to stop the hemorrhage and that is why they passed all those regulations (that are now revoked!) after that mess was dealt with?

  • Debate is another word that wingnuts do not get.
    They think it means they can say whatever bullshit they want to, and call people names when they bring up facts to counter them.
    Must be a DeVos education

    • From Russia with Love

      DeVos “education.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Whoever shouts the loudest wins! And only we get to use megaphones!”
      — The only wingnut debate rules

    • shivaskeeper

      They also tend to think you are not allowed to disagree with them. Also too the fact that to debate you have to debate in good faith, no come in with a steaming pile of made up bullshit and moving goal posts.

      • willi0000000

        hey! . . . it’s not their fault that you didn’t know about the factory option for wheels on all goalposts.

        • shivaskeeper

          Only the little league goalposts. That may be the problem right there.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Mighty kind of the truth warriors to come here and burst our liberal snowflake bubbles. They try so hard but we are just too insulated by all of that lamestream media facts and whatnot. You’d think rich, important people would have better things to do. Truly, we are lucky to have them and their caring concern.

    • willi0000000

      that must’ve hurt.

  • FZsdaughter

    ZOMG “Lokai and Bele” made me lose it. And “ilk like you” — Doktor Zoom & Dear Shit-Fer-Brains is the Wonkette I most look forward to every week.

    • TBH, it is kinda like the idea behind unions for me.
      I look forward to the day it is no longer necessary

    • doktorzoom

      Mi sister was bitten bi an ilk.

      No, realli! Ilk bites kan be nasti.

      • ZangoCrudmonger
        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          That is my theory.

        • Liberoid Ron

          It never struck me before how much the housemate looks like Ann Elk (brackets Miss brackets).

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        What wors is when a muse gorges you on his antler, like hapened to my Unkle Joey when it fell off the wall on him…

        • We need to investigate whether there was a Russian connection with moose and squirrel. Did Boris and Natasha hack those emails?

        • Shibusa

          I’m guessing Unkle Joey was not amoosed.

      • Biff52

        But the Ilks Club does a lot of good in this world.

        • Querolous

          Ilke sommer was hot!

      • PubOption

        Are you turning Sith Ifrikan?

  • janecita

    I’m so fed up with these assholes, I gave up trying to relate/understand their views. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e27860c77b19043412720a95af5ca3be3e0ba763a630e3a9b9d9082db08befab.jpg

    • This. We have debated them until we are blue in the face. We have show them the facts, the trends and the stats. We have turned over every one of their talking points and found them lacking and without merit.
      The debates are over. They lost. They should get over it.

      • Liberoid Ron

        They never get over anything. They’re carrying so much baggage that they’ve had to hire a porter to follow them around.

        • Naytch

          Porter = Rent Boy for many of them…. Speaking of baggage gigglesnort

        • GoutMachine

          Cf. the Civil War. It’s been over 150 years, assholes. Get over it! You lost!

          • Emilycsadowski

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !du350c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !du350c:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs640WebNextGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!du350c:….,……

      • Rags

        This was never about facts for them. We need to outshout them.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “But OUR TEAM won the election1!1!1!!!!!11 We don’t need no facts!!!11!1”
        -AOT, K

      • Tiny kaiju

        It’s time to bring out the hoses.

    • memzilla Ω

      Imma use this pic so much I might wear out the pixels.

      • SadDemInTex

        But a rat’s ass is cute!

    • Liberoid Ron

      Rats have such cute fuzzy butts!

  • BMW
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Don’t those people in 1918 have all their crops in already, goddamnit?!

      • BMW

        Because the war, probably.

        • Naytch

          And no white onions, either!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      FWIW, America in 1918 was busy ratifying the Prohibition on alcohol, state by state. Such brilliant people who have so much to teach us today.

      • From Russia with Love

        Fuck them, if for no other reason than this.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        ’twasn’t us who came up w/ it, it was the Germans, and then the British in response to the Germans. Daylight, war, working hours, blackout, etc etc.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Well, thank goodness we’re not all goosestepping now, too.
          Yet.

    • Sardonicuss

      Actually….
      Farmers are the most consistent group to ..oppose DST.
      Retail…not so much.
      https://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelwmiller/everything-you-think-you-know-about-daylight-saving-time-is?utm_term=.gszNoYWjX#.juJk09QVl

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        THANK YOU. I endlessly post about this. I don’t know why it bugs me. It’s so silly to think “farmers”–makes absolutely no logical sense, and has nothing to do with it. Started with wartime, more light for working hours, blackout, etc. NOw it’s just, as you say, RETAIL who likes having light for later shopping hours.

    • Biff52
    • Shibusa

      At least we shortened Trump’s presidency by an hour.

      • theCryptofishist

        At least until the fall.

    • suziq

      I like it when it is light out later, but they should just leave it and not switch back and forth twice a year. That’s stupid. I think they did that one year and everybody hated it though. What is good about getting dark before dinner time?

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        No, they’ve never tried it, not once, and I’m an old. A few states rebel and don’t change. But I 100% agree. We should leave it on permanent “summer time.”

    • Amy!

      It’s actually a lot more to do with the industries, in which lighting was commonly through quite large windows and even skylights, because artificial lighting was a danger. So most factories had artificial lighting, but were safer (and consequently more productive) using the natural light through the windows.

      It might be hard to get your workers to show up earlier, but if the gummint changes the clock so that early is later, folks grumble and adjust (and you can add a half shift or a second shift or whatever).

      Fun facts about early industrialization (continued in the second world war because a lot of the existing plant was old shit from the turn of the century; progress got kinda slowed a bit when the world economy collapsed in ’29).

    • YoBunnyBunny

      True story: I used to fuck myself over every year by planning a weekend road trip from MD back home to NC on DST weekend. It was always by accident that I’d realize the Friday as I was leaving. I drove back in the wee hours of Sunday morning, and was always peeved to “lose” that precious hour.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Still people blame the farmers. THINK ABOUT IT. THERE IS THE SAME AMOUNT OF SUN no matter how it’s clocked. This has nothing to do with farmers! It started during the war (see: 1918) to provide daylight during working hours, save energy, help safety. Germany, with their usual efficiency, figured it out first, then Britain, esp. during WW2. Now, it’s big business. It was NEVER THE FARMERS. In fact farmers HATE IT, it puts them and their crops/animals out of sync with everything else.

  • Sardonicuss

    “We were all in the hands of the progressives for eight years and the most corrupt administration our country has endured,….”

    I guess if a person can convince themselves that line of bullshit has some kind of relationship to reality – then Alex Jones must sound like Walter Cronkite to them?
    They really immerse themselves in delusion so thoroughly. No half measures at all.

    • TJ Barke

      “We were all in the hands of the progressives for eight years and the most corrupt administration our country has endured,….”
      Did we somehow warp back to the Reagan administration?

      • Liberoid Ron

        Well, I did start wearing a mohawk again…

        • HorseChestnut

          And Jerry Brown is governor of California again…

    • Shibusa

      They mistake “Foxtroversies” for actual scandals.

    • Villago Delenda Est
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Anyone else notice a theme among the Deleted Commenters? They all like to insist that we’re mad because people are supposedly “waking up” and opposing our vewpoint. Guess no one told them that Donald’s approval rating is already lower than his disapproval rating FFS…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f71f73da78f2015382f267d606eadbcac5c18ff5ac5f44bea1b2ee6844a406e6.jpg

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      I love their go-to argument is “suck it up, buttercup! he won, get over it”!!!!!11!!! Like, hello!!! We are well aware that he won! We’ll accept him just like all you RWNJ’s accepted Obama wasn’t a “secret Mooselamb”. Maybe I’m a silly “Libtard”, but I will NEVER accept hate, racism & sexism.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    PERPETUAL SNOWFLAKE

    It may be the nerd in me, but I highly doubt in all the infinite universes in the multiverse, a snowflake is perpetual…

    Prove me wrong!

    • msanthropesmr

      Ice-9

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        Damn you Kurt Vonnegut!

        • Liberoid Ron

          So it goes.

  • From Russia with Love

    I don’t even know what to say anymore. The idiots have certainly won this round.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Poor irrevelant ” yet you have 3 or 4 stories linked to him ?

    Congratulations, cassisanass: you just proved that we like to make fun of James O’Keefe! We’ve been exposed!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4e6021c7e16e726b6ba06f3cbd0c4593ad0200ec5bd9103c436f3a148df7a6b.jpg

    • doktorzoom

      But don’t you see? That means we’re AFRAID of him!

      • msanthropesmr

        Is ANYBODY afraid of James OKeefe?

        • From Russia with Love

          Me, I guess.

          • Jay Free

            I’d punch him in his sad ass mouth if I had the opportunity…I am certainly NOT afraid.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Clowns have always creeped me out.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          That CNN reporter he thought he was somehow going to seduce probably has a healthy fear of him, so yes.

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            Oy, that is a rage-inducing bit of history. Fuck that guy…mumble mumble rusty chainsaw!

        • doktorzoom

          The woman who’s pretty sure he tried to roofie her probably doesn’t feel terribly safe around him…

          • msanthropesmr

            UGH! Even more reasons to hate that asshat.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I’m not afraid OF him, but I’m afraid if I ran into him on the street he’d be voted onto the pavement.

          • I would tell him all about the sekret meeting of the libtards about to happen, and that it was going to cover how to steamroll the gay agenda and then give him the address of the local hard core biker bar.
            For the larfs.

        • Amy!

          I wouldn’t want to get on a boat that he’s on.

      • From Russia with Love

        Not ashamed to admit, I am afraid of that pimp costume.

      • TJ Barke

        Afraid, disgusted by, weary of… All the same really.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      O’Keefe is comedy gold. Occam’s Razor. Sheesh!

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Mary Sandoras

      Awesome turn of the tables!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Anyone can bring up bogus lawsuits . Make an honest look at Al Sharpton, or Jesse nnnJackson to know about the shakedown street that brother Jerry Garcia was trying to warn you about

    http://i.imgur.com/Fyw5RLj.gif

    • Martini Ambassador

      I was wondering if the extra “nnn”s were some kind of shorthand for n-clang.

      • You better believe it.
        Also, that Jerry would likely punch that fuck in the face if they ever met

        • MeerkatsRMammals

          Thank you! Was thinking the exact same thing!!! You keep Jerry Garcia’s name outta your mouth!

          • Heh, back in the day, we had some srs dead heads, and when Jerry died, a cute lil conservative went “Wonder if he is grateful now? And got exlax in his zima because of it.

        • bupkus23

          As it is, I don’t remember the lyrics to “Shakedown Street” as having anything much to do with corruption, etc. – i.e., shakedowns. You never can tell, tho’

      • puredog

        Oh, no, I’m sure it was just an innocent typo, or his cat walked across the keyboard.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Five words: Donald Trump sues for disparagement.

  • ViveLaPersistence

    For the eleventy-millionth time: It’s never anything but projection with these sad sacks. No wonder they love Agent Orange so much.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Is “Agent Orange” the Secret Service’s code name for Trump?

      • bupkus23

        Nah – they’re more cryptic than that – they call him “Dioxin”!

    • Ricky Gay

      for truly, Donald Trump is the patron saint of losers.

    • CeeQ

      Every shitty lie they ever believed in & repeated about Obama is effortlessly true of their boy, Trump.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!
    • MizzMazz

      Pretty bird!

    • TJ Barke

      “Your intolerance of my intolerance is the real intolerance!”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Pretty much the same concept as “you’re the real racist!”

        • CeeQ

          No racist! No racist! YOU’RE the racist!!

      • Weevie

        That could go back and forth forever.

        • theCryptofishist

          That server in Trump Tower!

    • Liberoid Ron

      The loons up where I used to live were pretty intolerant of anyone messing up their nice clean water with boats. I never had a chance to ask about their politics, however.

      • theCryptofishist

        Industry-killing environmentalists, obv.

    • Weevie

      Hey that’s our state bird! How dare you!

    • puredog

      What IS that?

      ETA: Ah, loon, I suspect.

  • memzilla Ω
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      OG of “big pimpin” :)

    • MizzMazz

      Thing of beauty.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Let’s go driving down the freeway of love with Aretha!

    • Weevie

      Everyone dressed to kill, cool pic.

    • Jay Free

      Don’t forget Pepsi and cotton gins

  • Angela Ruzzo

    No, Mr. WhitewaterMkII, Obama did not make $65 million on his book. NOBODY makes $65 million from a single book. Even if God or Jesus held the copyright on the Bible, which many people would call a “book of lies,” they wouldn’t make $65 million in royalties in 8 years. According to Money magazine, Obama “received royalties between $35,000 and $115,000 on his three books” in 2016.
    http://time.com/money/4439729/barack-obama-net-worth-55th-birthday/

    • TJ Barke

      Facts are a conspiracy to stymie the right wing agenda.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I would like to take the opportunity here to thank Mrs. Linda Millar, my amazing 6th grade teacher, who taught her class how to research facts, among many other useful things. It was 1967, and checking facts wasn’t easy. It involved getting my mother to drive me to the library, where I sat for 3 hours with lots of big, thick books, and lots of news magazines, and I wrote my facts down in pencil on a pad of lined paper. It’s so much easier to check facts today, but half the population can’t be bothered to do it.

        • To be fair, there is just as much access to alternative facts (or, you know, lies) as there are actual facts

        • Weevie

          The interesting thing about your link are the detailed lists of the Obamas’ wealth accumulation. Year by year, almost.
          Compare to Trump’s list, containing ___________ .

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yeah, isn’t it interesting. I personally don’t think he has half the money he says he has. Narcissists always inflate themselves.

        • jodyleek

          IK,R?!? Flipping through card catalogs, scanning endless spools of microfilm, microfiche, and those journals of print article citations. Then sometimes, I had to order a photocopy of an article from the Minneapolis Public Library (because we didn’t have back issues of certain publications in our little library) and wait at least a week for it to come by mail. Those were the days.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Oh yeah. I remember well the “Reader’s Guide” which referenced back issues of magazine and newspaper articles. My local public library didn’t stock back issues, so my mother would have to drive me across town to the University library, where they had these gloomy, dark “stacks” full of crumbling collections of print articles. And right next door to the U Library was the State Historical Society, with rooms full of microfilm and microfiche records, and yet more big, fat books. I had to write a report on the 1968 Presidential election, and it took me 2 weeks to do it.

        • Fartknocker

          Mine was Mrs. Claudia Payne. Because of her I fell in love with the Engineering library when I was getting my degree. To this day I’ll spend 3-4 hours at the UT Austin Engineering library monthly looking up relevant papers and scanning some of the magazines.

          Researching subjects can be hard but it’s rewarding. And to my GOP friends who get everything from the interweb, remember that the Dewey Decimal System is the gateway to actual scientific data that’s typically peer-reviewed you snowflake-y bitches.

          • Weevie

            My Dad got his ME degree at UT Austin. Yay!

          • puredog

            Was he there in/on Charles Joseph Whitman’s day?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            It has always bothered me that wonderful human beings like Mrs. Millar and Mrs. Payne, who had a positive and lasting influence on thousands of children, earned less in their entire working lifetime than a pro football player made in one year.

        • bupkus23

          Hell, not only that they can’t be bothered, they can’t tell when a “fact” is dubious and NEEDS checking – so they gullibly believe anything that comes down the pike. If it agrees with their prejudices, so much the better!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            What you say about “agrees with their prejudices” is really important. I remember reading in high school about the archeological discovery of “Piltdown Man.” This “ancient” skull allegedly proved that Europeans did not descend from African ancestors, but evolved independently in Europe, which was music to the ears of white racists of European descent. European and American scientists eagerly embraced Piltdown Man. However, it turned out to be a deliberate fraud. I remember thinking “Whenever you read about a discovery that reinforces people’s dearly-held prejudices, it is time to be extremely skeptical.” I have held to that practice ever since.

          • bupkus23

            Confirmation bias is a bitch. We all fall victim to it at times – which is why your approach is a good one.

            But it seems like the RWNJs use their own confirmation bias as “proof” of the accuracy of some “fact”.

            Who knows – maybe it’s some kinda warping of “If it feels good, do it!”

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Taking “facts” out of context can also be dangerous. I had a friend who was a retired Methodist minister, and he liked to tell the story of some fundamentalist evangelicals who knocked on his door one day. He invited them in, and they proceeded to use one Bible quote after another, all taken out of context, to support their bizarre beliefs. He showed them how wrong this is by opening his Bible to the Old Testament and reading “And Cain slew his brother Abel” and then flipping to the New Testament and reading “And Jesus said, go thou and do likewise.” Which obviously gives you permission to kill your brother, right? The visitors got huffy and left.

    • doktorzoom

      Pretty sure Whitewater was talking about their just-signed book deal, which is indeed for $60 or $65 million depending on what source you read.

      And being well paid for two books is bad, why?

      • Amelia

        Beat me to it by a couple seconds, Dok.

      • He really should have stipulated then

      • Weevie

        I like this line from the link:
        “President Obama’s book is a strong contender to attract the largest
        advance for any ex-president; the previous record is believed to be $15
        million for President Clinton’s “My Life.”

        Libtards in first and second place? Maybe being a retardedliberal is a good thing!

        • Amy!

          This is only because the publishing industry doesn’t talk about the “advance” that they gave to W. A cool hundred million (in small, non-sequential, unmarked bills), on the condition that it be exclusive.

          When the burned the manuscript (ceremonially, with full rites), everyone agreed that it was worth it. “Eight years … damn. Eight years was enough.”

          [disclaimer: this non-comment may contain alternative facts]

      • puredog

        Well it’s like being paid what the traffic will bear for speeches to Wall Street audiences, Dok. Geez, I wouldn’t think we’d have to ‘splain this to you.

    • puredog

      I think he’s talking about the advance on Bamz’s and Michelle’s joint memoir, though I don’t know the monetary amount. (Uses newfangled Google thing.) Maybe $15-20M; maybe “well into 8 figures.” Dunno, seems like could be $65M, if that includes royalties based on sales, but who knows.
      https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/28/business/media/obama-book-deal-penguin-random-house.html?_r=0

  • eggsacklywright

    Today, we are all ilk.

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Oh Sulu…can’t you teleport us all out of this shitshow? I know it was Scotty who ran the engineering bit, but sadly, he’s no longer with us :(

      Also…”mushrooms” makes me think of this song by System of A Down:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vBGOrI6yBk

      • MizzMazz

        Gawd, I loved this song back in the day. My 10 year old son would sing the main part, and I would chime in with ‘sugar’, while tooling around in my 86 Econoline. Good times.

        • MeerkatsRMammals

          Yes! SOAD is so awesome :) My sons (6 & 12) also enjoy singing along…to the edited version of course.

          • MizzMazz

            I know everyone makes fun of some of the music back then *cough* Nickelback, Limp Bizkit*cough* but it was fun at the time. We had a cool radio station here that would play the regular versions of the songs, and I have a fond memory of my friend and I with our sons in the back seat singing along to

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTMVOzPPtiw

            …and being so delighted to get to say, “Stick it up your ass!”

            Thank you, Fred Durst. Had the cussing discussion with my son, and he said, “I don’t use those words in the wrong places, Mom.” That was good enough for me, because sometimes those words are exactly what is needed.

          • MeerkatsRMammals

            The 90’s had some decent tunes. Nickelback though? No. Sorry Chad… Had the “bad words” discussion with my kids too. Told them it’s all about context 😉 they know bad words exist & when they’re not appropriate. Sounds like your son will be (or possibly is currently) a fine gentleman!

          • MizzMazz

            He’s 23 now, and making more money than I am, and loving his life. I am a very proud Mom. That he came out fine despite his Mom and Dad is great.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Ha! I love that song!

    • BMW

      I saw this reply to his tweet and only coyld facepalm because I didn’t want to drop my phone.
      I mean…wow….just….wow.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/12657497bc086db694b5debd6c5bda20d207e3ea910a16133464360e57d982e4.jpg

    • BloviateMe

      Calling the dipshits “mushrooms” needs to be a thing. It’s perfect.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Covered in shit and kept in the dark…

  • Sardonicuss

    Also too: Frank Gorshin (one half of the half black / half white planet guys??)
    Did the best angry Kirk Douglas impression so well…made a career out of it!
    The more you know!

    • Jonny On Maui

      The best Riddler!

      • Sardonicuss

        Yep. Was Jim Carrey before Jim Carrey was born. Face contortionist.

  • Weevie

    Re:
    …war against old Adolph and co. I was a young buck, grew up in the
    sixties, fell asleep at the wheel and rolled the car that we were going
    to Woodstock. Was a lib. Still am a classic lib. But I am a musician,
    build instruments. Woodworking for people you would know or know their
    name. Where did we part ways. I love the Truth. Only agenda. Must say,
    have run my own bidness ( my grandpa ) for 45 years…

    A few years ago I was in line in a tire store behind a typical smiling Old Dude wearing beige everything, including elevator mall walkers, who was trying to get the Counter Guy to do something, neither of us could understand what, by spewing out cliche after cliche, clause after clause just like cass is an ass wrote.

    After each pause, Counter Guy replied, “I’m sorry Sir?” and another stream of “She’s a big boy, that ol’ gal!” issued forth. Finally, Counter Guy blurted “What do you want, Sir?!”
    “Front shocks” said Old Dude, still smiling. Counter Guy just deflated; Old Dude’s car didn’t have front shocks. I left, not having the time to listen to Counter Guy try to explain to Old Dude what he really wanted.

    We’re supposed to listen to these people?

    • suziq

      I would say…no.

    • Liberoid Ron

      It’s a moot question since they won’t shut the fuck UP.

  • MizzMazz

    Just because of Lokai and Bele, and I’m a Trek nerd from the 70’s…wasn’t Frank Gorshim (sp?) the best? I love scenery chewers, and he chewed the hell out of that episode. Also, he was a great Riddler. For the record, I also love Brian Blessed, William Shatner, Paul Darrow, Willam Defoe, Faye Dunaway, and anyone who just cheeses up the set in a good way.

    • TJ Barke

      Brian Blessed is a glorious madman.

      • MizzMazz

        “Fly, my Hawkmen, fly!”

        • Doug Langley

          Amazing anyone remembers that flick.

          Fun fact: Flash Gordon was the first film to feature electronic (not optical) compositing of blue screen scenes. I tried to get a job with the effects house that did it, but they had put the machine in the storeroom because it was too much hassle to maintain.

          • MizzMazz

            How can I ever forget it? It was wonderful cheese – music by Queen, they knew they were just having fun, it was glorious to look at, and I totally want your job. I can paint a bit…

          • Doug Langley

            Too bad it was completely overshadowed by that other cheesy film that summer. What was it, something empire striking back or what?

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Well, it was cheesy, but it was brie as opposed to Flash Gordon‘s velveeta.

          • MizzMazz

            Oh yeah…that one. Two totally different movies, and you know what? You can like goofy fun shit, and…other goofy fun shit. There is enough fun to be had in the universe, unless there’s some kind of law against it.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Lord Olivier could chew with the best of them if the mood struck him.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        CHISWICK!! FRESH HORSES!!!

  • Ricky Gay

    I heard the owls call my name. My name is now Hoot.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Dip the tip of my truth arrows in honey
    People say that I ain’t funny,
    My ass is da MONEY!

  • OrG

    I’m supposed to “reach out” to these idiots? Nope.

    • So much this. I do not care if we lose more elections by not reaching out. These fucks have NOTHING of value to give to anyone, let alone the nation.

      • puredog

        I think this is short-sighted and counter-productive. But that’s just my opinion.

  • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

    Willfully hateful and ignorant is no way to go through life but these people do it anyway.

  • shivaskeeper

    I saw Whitewater when it was here and I caught the end of Bill when it got to the threats. I missed the rest. Somehow I am not sad about that fact.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Wow, I had NO idea of George Soros’ reach! He owns 99% of the news? He employs everyone who marches against anything the RWNJs like? Boy, he’s like . . . some kind of god emperor, isn’t he?
    Or do you think it’s just that his name has become shorthand for “people the Reichwing think should be on their side,” in the same way that Kleenex is the term for “any brand or type of soft tissue one uses on the face”?

    • Sardonicuss

      That means he owns Fox News and all the “Murdoch” properties!
      False False Flag alert!

    • weejee

      I thought it was 99.9999999%

    • Stulexington

      Wow, such a job creator, Republicans must love him.

    • CeeQ

      And yet somehow forgot to plant an extra couple of hundred thousand “voters” in the right states to guarantee Hillz victory. Damn it I tell you. Delegating is so important to success.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    An habitual lying, scheming, egotistical, self serving maniac.

    Kenny, you just described the current occupant of the White House.

    You’re welcome.

    • jodyleek

      Kenny thinks you speld your rong.

  • bookish
    • Oooooo is this a “you get to keep your doctor” moment?
      I feel that it is

      • bookish

        It’s a miracle, I tells ya.

        http://nbcnews.to/2mz23fv

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          You won’t be worse off financially. You’ll just be dead.

        • SayItWithWookies

          “I firmly believe” nobody’ll be worse off. Of course, it’s not a faith-based issue, and Price probably understands that phrasing it that way doesn’t get him off the hook when the CBO shows up with the actual numbers. But he thinks the people are idiots, so he goes ahead and says it anyway.

      • georgiaburning

        Dr Kervorvian, perhaps. (Yes, I know he’s dead)

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Oh, you know, these derpsters say they are here for “honest debate” but they are really in it to feed their own impoverished egos. If
    they don’t care about the Trump/Russia connection, etc, then what needs to be said to people like us who do care?

    Their getting ornery with total strangers just points out how
    awfully vulnerable they are – “snowflakes”, even. They’re not “debating”. They’re not being “objective”. They’re just being egotistical, ignorant assholes.

  • Amelia

    Man, these guys are getting a little sad. They only seem to know one song.

    I call it “You are a Snowflake (and I’m A Idiot).”

    • OrG

      Bad beat and you can’t dance to it.

    • shivaskeeper

      Let them ramble on long enough and they will toss in a few threats. Either personal threats about when they rise up, or they threaten you with their god.

      • They get to when we rise up and shoot you all very quickly when confronted with actual fact and mocking.

        • Amelia

          I’m super shocked by that. This is my shocked face.

          • To that I usually go lolz, bring it putz. I have no fear of you and your five diabetic old buddies

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          They won. They control the government. Why do they have to threaten anyone?

          • Because they know now that they only won through gaming the system and that they are in for a really big hurt if they do not quash this resistance feeling thing going on?

      • Amelia

        I’m never here for the violent ones. I only seem to be around when TLM’s porn posts are up or people are yelling at a Bernie Bro.

        • shivaskeeper

          It’s not particularly violent. Bill up in the article is a good example of it.

          • Amelia

            Ah, so vaguely threatening in a pee-his-pants-in-real-danger, only-brave-online kind of way. Got it.

          • shivaskeeper

            That’s it right there.

          • They make me snorkle XD

          • theCryptofishist

            Yeah, but I can’t swim.

      • BloviateMe
      • Sardonicuss

        They all think being cryptic is really really skeery!!. It is their default “end argument” every time.

        • shivaskeeper

          I know this. Try to get them to come out and say it. They will get even more butthurt that you could possibly have thought their words meant that. They are a peace loving people and you just showed your violent nature by thinking they could have meant any kind of threat by what they said.

          • At which point you can go lolz so you are a wimpy limp wristed beta cuck then?

          • shivaskeeper

            Yes ma’am, you may do that.

          • Think I shall. Next one to leave vague threat and I call them on it and they get all butt hurty I am a peaceful you violent libtard imma go “lolz, you are a beta cuck then? Knew it”
            Just like that.

      • Liberoid Ron

        Neither of which could be characterised as a ‘credible threat.’

        • shivaskeeper

          I just said it was a threat, not that I, or anyone else should take it seriously.

          • Liberoid Ron

            Quite so. But they seem to believe in it. Which is somewhere between amusing and pathetic.

  • Doug Langley

    Haven’t seen anyone else post it, so here’s last night’s SNL cold open:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrkJM4JUB28

  • eyelashviper
    • MizzMazz

      I have seen so many versions of this painting, and I didn’t think anyone could fuck it up. Once again, proven wrong.

    • theCryptofishist

      I love it.

  • weejee

    the shakedown street that brother Jerry Garcia was trying to warn you about

    Grateful Dead libel!

    Sounds like crassisanass got a bad tee, or the brown acid, in a Shakedown Street parking lot near a concert site.

    • Weevie

      That was the short lived Disco Dead era, a period embarrassing to even remember!

      Still can’t find Mars Hotel on CD.

  • Mary Sandoras
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Get Hannity on it, stat!

    • SadDemInTex

      I read that it wasn’t agricultural. Farmer’s are not tied to a clock…they get up at dawn and stop at dusk. I think it was factories and the cities.

  • Inner Venom

    “Typical intolerant liberal loon. What’s up with all the visceral hate for people that don’t agree with your failed ideology”

    This coming from the people who say that they would willingly run over a group of black lives matter protesters with their car if they blocked the road?

    Hello pot, meet kettle.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I’m always amused by that – “you libturd traitirs dont no how 2 have a sifil debat!!”

      • Weevie

        that’s hard to read. for us anyway.

  • Liberoid Ron

    I wish to propose a theory that would explain the depressing sameness amongst our trolls:
    Though there are a multitude of trolls, they share only one brain, much like the Graeae shared their one eye and one tooth. When a troll fumbles its way to our beloved Wonkette, it borrows the brain and writes its screed, then stumbles away, handing the brain to the next troll coming this way. Since there’s but the one brain, the thoughts are always the same, though filtered through the particular failings of the host body so that the style varies slightly.
    I hasten to add that the brain in question is not large, and due to its being away from nourishment and replenishment for extended periods of time, it does not work well.

    I thank you for your attention. Persons from the MacArthur Genius Grant committee may contact me care of this blog.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      Extra points for the Greek mythology reference!

    • Weevie

      Mythological Greek Sockpuppet Software in many cases. Specially when 500 comments appear in the first 2 minutes after an article posts.

    • wavicles

      Ha, PROJECTION!! All you Libtards share the hive brain, not us!!! YOU’RE THE PUPPET

    • OneYieldRegular

      They also seem to share the same grammar, so your theory, and what it is too, may have merit.

    • folderol

      To test your theory, I scanned some random comments (also on Disqus!) over a WorldNetDaily. I actually think they are a little more rabid there. Here’s one:

      We know what the democrats are now. They are the enemy of moral and right America. If you are not white they the democrats call you a race traitor. And if you are white you are a racist . The democrats will not be sastisfed with any thing so not much use in trying to get along with them. They want all the whites to be slaves. And non whites to toe the comunist line. Buck 🇺🇸⚔🇺🇸 100% disabled Vietnam veteran. Christian Right wing republican life time member NRA and friend to Israel

      I’m not picking on Buck, btw, who has perhaps made a tragic, lifelong sacrifice for our country; I only chose it because it is not an atypical comment from the far right wingnutosphere.

      • Liberoid Ron

        For someone who’s ‘100% disabled’ he doesn’t seem to have any problems using a computer.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Honestly? I think there are far, far fewer trolls than we think. When Sam Bee interviewed those two Russian trolls, they were vastly amused at how easy it is to fool us. They each had about 100 different identities, from blond midwestern housewife, to truckdriving yahoo, to government official, etc etc etc. I think many posts are simply the same troll, and they’re taking marching orders from either Bannon or Putin, with specific inflammatory points to make. Even the occasional ugly resurgence of Bernie bullshit has the mark of the troll. The sad thing is the genuine idiots who credulously retweet them and are taken in by them. If Twitter or FB had the slightest public responsibility they’d ban them completely. They are nothing more than ugly propagandists, furthering an ugly agenda, deliberately sowing distrust and chaos. It has nothing to do with genuine discourse. Genuine discourse looks like what we have here.

  • proudgrampa

    For the record, the world DOES run on unicorns and rainbows.

    https://youtu.be/qRC4Vk6kisY

    • weejee

      It certainly does, and they’re delivering my 7th grandbabby today.

      • H0mer0

        congrats! my S.O. has only 5 of them (his daughter started when she was 16.)

        • weejee

          Thanks

      • proudgrampa

        Congratulationa!

        I’m jealous, I only have two. How do you keep track of all those birthdays???

        • weejee

          My bride does. And jeesh, my oldest is working on her masters.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Congrats! And the fact that you always refer to her as your bride brings a smile to my face every time! Enjoy the new little peanut!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Awww! Congratulations!

        • weejee

          thanks

      • MizzMazz

        Congrats!

        • weejee

          Thnx

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        How lovely!! Molotov!!

        • weejee

          Thanks

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        Hopefully it’s not Amazon Prime that is delivering it… They always mess up. Two-day delivery my ass!

        (Congrats by the way.)

        • weejee

          thanks

  • Inner Venom

    Every week that we do these deleted comments, it feels like the alt righters are getting way too predictable it’s like they’re robots.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/94e11229190dca2455670f511b6ee1a1ad0a3a1e76ae0e0c3f02f83cec168325.jpg

    • Nockular cavity

      That’s brilliant!

    • Weevie

      a bunch of chickens, but we knew that already. Now we can hear it, too!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I often read that WWII pilots got a ridiculously low number of hours of flight instruction before being sent out to drop bombs. I’m afraid cassisanass’s father’s memory was not accurate. Nobody got only 20 hours of flight instruction in WWII. I had three uncles in the Air Force during WWII, and they told me they got about 200 hours of flying instruction. It was the British Air Force that reduced the training time down to a couple of weeks during the Battle of Britain because they were running out of pilots, but even they got more than 20 hours of flight instruction.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Pfft. There you go again, destroying a perfectly craptastic argument with your damn liberal “facts” and “history.”

      • MizzMazz

        Oh, and there was my Dad who didn’t get to fly at all, because he fucked up his final (thinking he would nail it, so he went out drinking the night before). They didn’t let just anyone fly – it was one of the biggest regrets of his life. so easy to make up lies about WW2, now that most of the people who were there are gone.

    • Sardonicuss

      My dad was a B-24 pilot. Spent 3 months in Arizona at flight training school before going to England.
      So…yeah ..thats bullshit.

    • shivaskeeper

      Every one knows you are wrong. The times were so desperate that anyone who went into the military at all in any capacity to fight the Nazis were actually shipped out completely untrained. In fact most of them had to sew their own uniforms on the transport ships. That’s how you win wars.

      • TJ Barke

        My grandpa had to carve his m1 garand out of a tree!

        • shivaskeeper

          See? You know what I’m talking about. Not like these snowflakes today who want everything handed to them.

          • TJ Barke

            On the beach at Omaha!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Under fire, using German shells they melted down on the beach to fabricate the barrel and firing chamber on the spot.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They had transport ships? I thought they had to swim. :-)

        • TJ Barke

          They had to tow the ships! Clenching the tow lines in their teeth! Punching attacking u-boats!

          • pstockholm

            And then all the way back! Uphill!

        • shivaskeeper

          Only the Marines. And only then if they could not catch a dolphin, whale, or shark to transport them. Cause they are hard like that.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Ha ha! You have reminded me of a story I heard about 20 years ago from a male friend who did his Army service in Germany in the late 70’s. He was in a tank brigade, and for reasons that escape me now they ended up sinking in an ice-cold pond or small lake somewhere in Germany during some kind of training maneuver. When they got out of the icy water, they couldn’t find their gonads. Apparently their gonads had all risen up into their insides to stay warm. (I was not aware until then that this could happen to men.) The guys were really upset about this, not knowing if they would ever get their gonads back, but about 48 hours later, all was back to normal. I can see how this would upset a young man.

      • theCryptofishist

        (omg, that was brilliant!)

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      That’s what I was thinking. My uncle only had seven days of basic training (doubt it was that short) but it was shortened because he joined the navy the day after Pearl Harbor and they needed mindless cannon fodder.

    • Shibusa

      Kind of O/T but… Remember Randy Quaid’s character in ‘Independence Day’? He could fly a crop-duster so of course with an hour’s worth of instruction he was able to fly a F/A-18.

      PS Fun fact. My Pop and his brother were both fast-tracked through medical school so they could become Army doctors during WWII. But it was still years worth of schooling!

      • ManchuCandidate

        Or Luke Skywalker who graduated from “Kid with Bantha Shit between his Toes” To “Flight Leader who Blew up the Death Star thanks to Shooting Womp Rats from his T-16” in a matter of minutes.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Actually it was the other guys aka bad guys who had their flight training reduced from “best in the world” to almost jack shit because:
      1. Lack of fuel thanks to Allies blowing up fuel supplies/sinking oil tankers
      2. Lack of good instructors thanks to Allies shooting down/killing lots of Axis pilots (lack of armor and self sealing tanks in the case of the Japanese planes.)
      3. Because other side didn’t plan ahead (thought it was going to be a short war) and thought that their air forces supermen could fight indefinitely without replacements.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Your “superman” comment reminds me of something my mother told me. She was an Army Nurse in England during WWII, and sometime during the late summer of 1944 they opened up a ward for injured German POWs. She said that some of these POWs refused to accept “mongrel non-Aryan” blood supplies, and died because of it.

        She also told me that when she did her nurse’s training in the late 1930’s, the US blood supplies were segregated. If the hospitals did not have a white patient’s blood type in “white” blood, they would offer patients their blood type from the “colored” blood supply, and the patient had to sign a consent form before the hospital could use it, and she was surprised at how many white people refused it and died as a result.

        I read that segregation of US blood supplies ended during WWII because the US military said it couldn’t be bothered with that nonsense in its hospitals.

        • The us military, specifically the Marines but in periphery all of it, really needs to be credited more with de-segregation. WWII did it and it changed some people in some ways.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            It’s a mixed story. In 1941 the surgeons general of the Army and Navy bowed to public and political pressure and would allow the Red Cross to accept blood only from white donors. In 1942 they revised this, and agreed to accept blood from all races, but insisted on keeping the blood supplies segregated. They did not change this policy until 1944, when casualties began to mount, but the change was unofficial until 1950. They did it in 1944 and 1945, but they just didn’t tell anyone they were doing it, and the War Department turned a blind eye.

        • ManchuCandidate

          We all bleed red. Sad, but then again if they’re that stupid to refuse blood because it’s not “pure” then so be it.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I agree. Nature has her own ways of weeding out stupid people, but she doesn’t do it often enough, to my way of thinking.

            Yesterday I read an article about a man who threw his mother’s little dog into a commercial trash compactor while it was still alive. He is going to prison. I wish we could weed such people out much earlier in life, before they reproduce.

    • Weevie

      Kamikazes got off the deck and then learned how to crash.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    You had me at “sarcasim” (sic) lol

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Dip the tip
    Of my truth arrows in honey

    How I miss the brilliant lyrics of hair metal power ballads!

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      The smell of Aquanet in the evening… smells like…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I love trolls who pretend to be wealthy, super- successful entrepreneurs in order to explain and justify their hate, lack of empathy, and misogyny….because they have learned that these attributes are not only permitted, but applauded among the wealthy. Is this a great country or what?

    • Inner Venom

      Well yeah, Donald Trump is who theses dudes want to be. Monkey see, monkey do.

    • OrG

      Haha! Joke’s on them. Poor people can be assholes too.

    • Sardonicuss

      Well, they all worship the rich!
      I was pointing out the most obvious flaws of Drmp to one of his supporters one time: “Well, so what, he’s rich!” It is the be all end all.
      They don’t even care that he inherited all. They equate wealth with character and all that is good. Goes along with the ..”if you are poor, you must deserve it…God wanted it” gospel.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Some guy in Nazareth is getting shouty and stabby about now.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Don’t they know that we are good-looking, wealthy, super-successful entrepreneurs, who have lots of orgies?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Uhhhh….oh yeah. Right!!

      • Cubicle orgies are the best!

      • puredog

        Hey, wannabe, I don’t recall seeing you at any of MY orgies lately.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      If they are really bored enough to spend that kind of time commenting on a snarky mommy recipe blog, wealth isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.

      • Sardonicuss

        Something tells me that was all B.S.
        If I had the wealth he is talking about, I wouldn’t be interrupting my Greek island beach time to troll Brietbart.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          They ALWAYS lie about the wealth.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I’d be on a Caribbean island, but yes, same scenario.

        • puredog

          Oh, you’re just cynical in addition to being sardonic.

    • I prefer the door slamming posts.
      Well you are all losers so I won’t waste my time with you *slam!*
      And another thing, you are not worth my time so good day to you *slam!*
      But Shrillary is a podesta rissota eater and I am out of here *slam* Enjoy your safe space looooosers *slam*

      • shivaskeeper

        Usually from the same troll. You end up having to ask how many times they are going to come back before they leave for good.

        • Right? That is when I win all the monies.
          My trick is that I always guess one more appearance. 9 times out of 10, there it goes.

        • thebeatgoeson

          I know, right? How can we miss them if they won’t go away?!

      • snark-lurker

        “slam!”
        hi everbuddy! : )

    • Master Contrail Program
    • puredog

      It’s like the protestant elect all over again, in different and more repellent garb.

  • azeyote

    “She is an idiot, no doubt. Maybe not in everyday life, but, in the political world people have came to see her as she really is. An habitual lying, scheming, egotistical, self serving maniac” –
    i’m not the greatest at grammar but since you’re obviously talking about Trump shouldn’t you use he instead ?

    • Weevie

      Can’t make up their mind it seems. JUST PICK ONE!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      If you’re religious, you voted for a serial adulterer who’s publicly stated that he doesn’t repent for anything he’s done over a devout Methodist who’s devoted a good part of her life to public service.
      If you respect wealth, you voted for a rich asshole con man who managed to squander his inherited fortune several times, cheated his investors, and had to be bailed out. As opposed to a woman who started out with next to nothing and who helped her family become wealthy through hard work and smart investments.
      Who’s the idiot?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        All white evangelicals.

      • gene108

        We are. We lost to That Thing. God help us all.

  • chascates

    Tip to trolls: the best way to make an argument is to state facts that support your position and to give evidence why the other side is wrong. Using over-the-top insults towards anyone who disagrees with you is the tactic of a ten-year-old.
    Also try writing your screed with a text editor that has spell check.

    • Discus HAS a spell check.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Your browser probably does these days too.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          Chrome definitely does. Funny enough, because of all these auto spell checks my spelling has gotten terrible in recent years.

          • gene108

            Mine too. Scares me when a kid asks me how to spell something and I think, “oh crap, I hope I don’t screw this up”, because I am so used to being able to throw down some letters, and if it is close enough the computer corrects it.

          • puredog

            Still, it’s not automatic, but only suggests revisions one might make, were one to review one’s post for correctness, succinctness, and accuracy. You see the problem.

          • theCryptofishist

            It’s helped me on some problem words, because I can see the real spelling in real time. I still manage to misspell so bad that it can’t figure out what I’m trying to say.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          What the spell checkers are really not good for is sussing out context. There their and they’re are all spelled right, but in the wrong context, they’re misspelled. This is where just about everyone (myself included) fails once and a while. It’s just that the trolls don’t stand a chance of getting it in the first place.

      • *Disqus. 😆

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Discuss what?

          • Anything that doesn’t use big words. I don’t have spell check. Seriously.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            “New InPrivate” or “New Private” window to get around paywalls after your free articles run out.

            Republicans don’t know this because fags or senile?

            This is trolling ^^^

          • Weevie

            You idiot lying, scheming, egotistical, self serving

            maniac libleftist.

            Typical witty comeback

          • puredog

            I read this as “libelfist,” some new variant of “upfist” or “downfist,” and my curiosity was piqued.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Ayup!

        • Weevie

          That’s a diskusting!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        IKR? I’m constantly amazed at how people manage to ignore the wiggly red line that appears under misspellings. I guess they don’t know what it is. Or they don’t care.

        • snark-lurker

          that wood be me

        • Sardonicuss

          They think it is a style suggestion. It means: You nailed it!

        • Mr. Blobfish

          The think the browser is highlighting their genius.

      • Nockular cavity

        Not my discus. Maybe it’s on the shot put?

    • Weevie

      Too many amateurs these days.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      “Tip to trolls”.

      Then you proceed to describe something that is not trolling.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Spell check is liberal conspiracy.

  • Nockular cavity

    “Enjoy your cubicle!” “…don’t give up your assembly line job.” I thought working was what Real Muricans did, and we were all welfare looters. Are we supposed to be working now?

    • Inner Venom

      “Those protesters are all lazy moochers who need to get jobs!”
      “Those protesters are bought and paid for by Soros!”

      Consistency: Right wingers are doing it wrong.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Oh, they’ve got the disdain and hatred down pat; the rest of the garbage they spew doesn’t matter.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      But what if I work at an assembly line making cubicles? What now, smartypants?

    • Inner Venom

      Also too, certain alt-right media outlets like Infowars claim to despise what they define as “elitism”, but here they are talking like…elitists!

      • TJ Barke

        Cognitive dissonance is a bitch.

    • shivaskeeper

      Cubicle=bad. It’s inside work and probably white collar in that you don;t get callouses. Assembly line=good. Solid blue collar, sense of accomplishment at the end of the day, add your own cliche here.

      I’m not sure where this clown missed the memo.

      But it could be because he claimed he’s rich and retired. Who can tell?

    • Weevie

      These are the dolts who made Milo into a far left thing of some sort.

      • Funny how fast they turned on him XD
        Wonder if he gets it yet?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Milo is a false flag operation! Breitbart is a false flag operation! Trump is a false flag operation! Oh — turns out there’s actually no right wing. I guess we can all take our masks off now and vote for the liberal paradise we’ve been falsely-flagging against for so long.

    • TJ Barke

      “Something something temporarily embarrassed millionaires”

    • The Flaming Carrot

      He made his millions selling Kevin Trudeau multi-level marketing schemes, which is why he’s now in Croatia (or is it Malta?).

      • theCryptofishist

        Cromalta, a place you can only get to with the aid of a travel agent. Where there are lots of cronuts. He can have it.

  • Chadwells

    Ahhh…these folks outdo their illiteracy every week. At least these morans are consistent.

  • Shibusa
  • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

    If those comments make sense, you’ve drunk too much.

  • Chadwells

    Wow.

  • Nounverb911
  • Thaumaturgist

    And now Doc threatens us with “mercy banning?”

    • Nounverb911

      Wonkette had death panels now? When did Sarah Palin become an employee.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’m really surprised “cassisanass” didn’t pull out the old “I voted for Obama twice” line. That and “I’m a member of Mensa” are de rigueur for ignorant racist dickheads pretending to be earnest, disillusioned libs.

    • Sardonicuss

      I too was once a libtard. Then Reagan the genius turned me to the light. – David Brooks, P.J. ORourke, Dennis Miller..et al

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        And look how well it worked out for them!

        • H0mer0

          “vast spaces for entertaining.”

    • Inner Venom

      It’s official. Caucasians who act like jackasses shall now be known as “cacassians”
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5a2ae6fbf865b7ff8c283012bd737aa58ecd2694ad3c2bbd98d2352ab6bc5896.jpg

      • snark-lurker

        oh for peat sakes it took me tii now to ilk out what “cacassians” is

        • puredog

          It wasn’t until I read your post that I realized there was anything there besides derpitude that required sussing at all, so I am even behind you, for whatever solace that might give.

  • “Ilk like you” is the name of my new Emo band! Which used to be known as Emo Deemo.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I had an uncle who had an ilk farm.

      No, that’s not right.

      • TJ Barke

        Ilk burgers are great.

        • Doug Langley

          Ilk milk is awesome.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            You ever try to milk an ilk?

          • Doug Langley

            Nah, I just bilk the farmer out of what he has.

          • wavicles

            ilk milk bilking

          • proudgrampa

            Eh?

          • BloviateMe

            Ilk sheets are nice, but they never stay on the bed.

          • proudgrampa

            I LOVE chocolate ilk shakes!

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Ilk boots are expensive, I think.

          • H0mer0

            I wanna say an ilk once bit my sister but I don’t have either.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            Never corner an ilk without the appropriate gear.

        • Swampgas_Man

          Is it ilk hunting season already? Better wear my orange pajamas, can’t be too careful in PA.

      • “Elk like you” is going to be our next band name! Either that, or “The Ungulates”.

        • H0mer0

          when my dog is barking at the deer she sees out the window of my son’s bedroom around 3am, I like to imagine she is telling them “Hey, you ungulates! Yeah, I’m watching you!” with her tail wagging and looking like she is smiling despite my son’s yelling at her to shut up.

          • I wonder, does your dog use stereo vision to triangulate on the ungulates? And what if Satan appears in your backyard (could happen). He has cloven hooves, is he an ungulate?

          • theCryptofishist

            Does he have a rumen?

  • The Flaming Carrot

    You forgot to mention that Roger ends virtually all of his posts with “eh?” Let’s arrest him for impersonating a Canadian, eh?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The other one I hate is hmmm…RWNJ’s use that a lot.

      • BloviateMe

        I hate “hummm” even worse.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Dynamo hum!

        • puredog

          It’s okay if it’s part of the job.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Especially members of the Indiana Shitferbrains RWNJ Nurse’s Association.

    • Y’all impersonate us alot. We should get that criminalized

  • bookish

    David Gelernter is an innovator in parallel computing, a prolific writer on religion and culture, a talented artist—and one of two apparent finalists for the job of science advisor to President Donald Trump. To call the Yale computer scientist “anti-intellectual,” as The Washington Post did in January, is to stretch the word past its breaking-point. But Gelernter is also at the center of two falsely comforting ways of thinking about Trumpism. The first assumes that the most anti-intellectual president in recent memory infects everything he touches—that when someone who writes books decides to back a president who never reads them, the former gets dumbed-down by association. The second assumes that when a cultural conservative like Gelernter supports Trump, there’s nothing more interesting at stake than an acute case of hypocrisy.

    LATEST FROM POLITICS

    Muslim Americans Are United by Trump—and Divided by Race

    The reality is more complicated. Gelernter is under no illusions about Trump: In an op-ed last October, he conceded that Trump is “an infantile vulgarian” even in the course of endorsing him. And whether or not he gets the job of science advisor, Gelernter deserves attention. He offers one of the clearest cases of the appeal of Trump’s authoritarian populism to a certain kind of traditionalist intellectual. It’s Gelernter’s writing on religion, not science, that displays the variety of traditionalism capable of coming to terms with Trumpism’s vulgarities through a kind of desperation, and capable of seeing Trump’s authoritarianism as a feature rather than a bug.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      What the hell is wrong with someone who sees another person as “an infantile vulgarian” and still supports him? Especially when that IV is in the presidency?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        If your agenda is infantile, sadistic and destructive, Trump is exactly who you want.

        • H0mer0

          like the assholes who would have wanted Sarah Palin to be one heart beat away from the presidency, the ones who voted for Dubya over Gore because Gore was “too boring.”
          I have plenty of “brilliant” colleagues in medicine who are comfortable with that cognitive dissonance.

    • Small point: Anti-intellectualism has fuck all to do with personal achievements or intellect.
      Also, wtf is a religion writer doing being hired for science advisor

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He’s a computer scientist who dabbles in religious writing, which means that when discussing religion, he’s out of his element.

        • Seems to me he is more known for his religious writing, at least up there.
          But that clears it up some.
          Still, anti-intellectualism has nothing to do with one’s intellect or achievements. It is a movement to cut out reason and fact in favor of a specific (usually money related) agenda.

        • pstockholm

          Also out of his element, or at least area of expertise, in addressing any of the things “cultural conservatives” are wont to address. In other words, his science career doesn’t give him any special protection from being called out on whatever combination of clueless, heartless, hypocritical he displays.
          As for him being a potential science advisor, I’m interested in three things – will he state clearly and unequivocally what the science says on climate change and commit to fighting the crazies in the administration, will he commit to respect for science at all levels of decision-making and to fighting the crazies where necessary, will he commit to funding research at the level it has been and defense of science education in the schools.
          If not, just another political hack/religious nut, don’t give a damn how brilliant a computer scientist he is.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I might apply for the job of science advisor to the Assmouth administration — it would probably involve sitting around and waiting for the phone to ring, like my old gig as Bob Dylan’s vocal coach.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Heidegger thought Nazism was the cats pajamas.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    What’s Shakin’? Just got back from a shopping spree. Drugstore had a cosmetics sale, and I haven’t bought good makeup in months. They had my fave perfume @50% off, Katy Perry’s “Killer Queen”, plus I got Katy Kat Mascara and Black lipstick cos I wanted it, and I ended up with two Rimmel London Provocalips shades for free. Plus, the woman in the store told me I was rockin’ my pants, my pleather leggings.

    Some oldz at the grocery store seemed to not like my ensemble, but believe me they are no good judges of Haute Couture. XD

    • snark-lurker

      Pics or GTFO

    • Olds at the grocery on a SUNDAY????
      They say anything you just sniff and go “See you are not keeping the Sabbath”

      • msanthropesmr

        I go grocery shopping at 6AM on a sunday. Ain’t nobody there.

        • I like 10AM. Missed it this morning.
          Same reason XD Everyone round here is churching it up

          • msanthropesmr

            Yeah – I live in the secular heathen haven of Richmond, so everyone is sleepin’ it off at 6AM.

          • I live in the rural fuckwadedness that is Caroline. Not sure if peeps be sleepin at 6, but they all be churchin at 10

            Edit: Also, I do not think the store opens until 8

          • msanthropesmr

            An you can also be guaranteed that the Cracker Barrel will be absolutely full up at 15 minutes after 11.

          • We don’t even have one of them. DO have a golden corral though.

          • And by 1230, there will be no tips for the servers

          • True story: Friend of mine took part time at the Golden Corral because…rural fucking county. Anyway, the biggest tippers? Drive through truckers and migrant hispanics who do not speak english.
            FUNNY. You would think her friends and neighbors (everyone is related here in some way) would tip better?
            Sort of opened her eyes

          • Reading Off The Menu for more than a year amped up my tip game

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Ima generous tipper, cos:

            A) Mom was a Hostess at a hotel restaurant

            B) If Queer folk tip big, servers and staff watch our backs.

          • Sister the Resister

            Ain’t that the truth? I learned that lesson accidentally, but I’m glad I learned it.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Indeed. I picked it up from a friend online, and it’s *Truth*. :)

          • msanthropesmr

            Huh – so people that work for a living know what it’s like to work for a living.

          • Surprising I know

          • Liberoid Ron

            Fair number of Bible tracts, though.

          • imstilrit

            Oh, I just love the porkchops. And the sweet tea.

          • msanthropesmr

            God that tea is so sweet it makes my teeth hurt thinking about it.

            I do like their corn bread.

          • imstilrit

            Oh yes! And the meatloaf. Just like mother used to make, before the accident.

        • puredog

          Are the baked goods fresh? How about the fish?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Maybe I’ll just wear my black lipstick next Sunday. XD

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    “Department of Redundancy Department, how can I help and assist you today?”
    “I need an insult for a whole bunch of people I hate.”
    “Oh, okay! Let me think and ponder for a moment . . . how would ‘ilk like you’ suit you?”
    “Perfect, great, thank you so much!”
    “You are very welcome and please have a nice day on this beautiful afternoon.”

  • Tallmutha

    Cassisanass “runs his own bidness (his grandpa)”? His business is running his grandpa? I don’t think I want to know any more.

    • I think it means his grandpa built the business through work and sweat and Cassass has pilfered it enough to retire to his one bedroom trailor and post on the internets all day

    • Sardonicuss

      “Bidness is pimpin Grandpa and bidness is….pretty shitty.”

    • SayItWithWookies

      He’s an innovator in the field of cryogenics.

    • proudgrampa

      Uh, yeah. I didn’t get that one either. I hope there isn’t some senior abuse going on there…

    • Panika MCD

      he puts grandpas on lunge lines and moves them with a whip. you should see the muscles on his grandpas.

  • Nounverb911

    Meanwhile back in DC, future President Elizabeth Warren has a field day with donnie.

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/840944868239253504

  • wavicles

    Leave The Dead out of this, you shit!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      no kidding, that was my first thought- you learned nothing from Jerry, idjit.

    • Tallmutha

      Not even John Perry Barlow can stomach Trump.

      (Hey, I wiki’d JPB to confirm that he was the sometime-Republican one, and his Wikipedia page includes a photo of — his cat!)

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        except JPB wasn’t involved with Shakedown Street, that’s a Hunter/Garcia tune

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      “Love is shaking on Shakedown Street.” is a reference to Sharpton? Put down the ‘shrooms and step away.

      • Edith Prickly

        Well since my baby left me/I’ve found a new place to dwell…

  • gene108

    I hate George Soros. He never pays me nothing for calling my Republican Rep. and telling him to oppose Trump, Ryan, etc.

    And he does not reimburse me nothing for donating to liberal causes and the Democratic Party.

    But I keep hearing how he pays all these people, who do what I do.

    I hope George gets with it, and gives me some of his sweet, sweet Soros bucks.

    • Maybe you forgot to send Soros the “change of address” card when you moved?

      • Dude must be richer than Trump.
        I think we ought to just start going “Well yeah, he is SO MUCH richer than Trump!” every time they bring him up

      • Panika MCD

        can’t he get that from my updated voter reg card? I mean, he’s all seeing, all knowing and shits money in rainbow hues after all.

    • Panika MCD

      Soros bucks: now accepted by Starbucks.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Guardian headline from today: Trump Supporters In Heartland Fear Being Left Behind By GOP Healthcare Plan…..*but will blame Obama, Hillary, and Bill Ayres when they die uninsured and penniless in the street*

    • Inner Venom

      An appropriate parable:
      A rich man and two poor man sit at a table with a tray of 10 cookies. The rich man takes 9 for himself. Then, as the two poor men reach for the last one, the rich man says “look out! He’s trying to steal your cookie!”

    • SayItWithWookies

      See — Obama did take their healthcare away!

    • Edith Prickly

      Do any of them even remember Bill Ayers? They change up their ragebabble so often.

      • Panika MCD

        you’re giving them too much credit for having anything resembling an attention span.

  • azeyote

    people know that all snowflakes are beautiful and unique which makes them so great – that’s why they call us that –

    • TJ Barke

      Hopefully we’re about to avalanche them, too.

    • proudgrampa

      Better a snowflake than a cornflake!

      • Swampgas_Man

        I’m gonna steal that from now on!

        • proudgrampa

          All of my work is in the public domain…

      • Jamoche

        Never was a cornflake girl.

        • They make an excellent addition if you are making something with breading or a crust

          • Liberoid Ron

            I’ve been wanting to experiment with using corn flake crumbs in the housemate’s salmon loaf recipe rather than the crushed crackers it calls for, but I can never remember what the cracker-to-crumb ratio is. Plus it’s gotten awfully hard to find Corn Flake Crumbs around here.

          • I just get corn flakes at the bulk store and crush with meat tenderizer

          • Liberoid Ron

            That just shifts the problem up one level, since we don’t have a meat tenderiser either.

          • Pretend the bag is a sheet of bubble wrap

          • Liberoid Ron

            Believe it or not, I cannot pop bubble wraps. I feel GUILTY if I pop one bubble accidentally. It’s weird and I have no idea where it came from.

          • **backs away slowly*

          • theCryptofishist

            Running over bubble wrap in a wheel chair is one of my new pleasures.

          • Liberoid Ron

            YOU MONSTER!

          • theCryptofishist

            Bwaahahahahahaha!

          • Sister the Resister

            put them in a plastic bag and smash with your hands, or roll a smooth-sided glass or jar over them.

            Alternatively, you can smash them inside a bowl using a smaller bowl or other round-ish shaped thing, but crumbs will tend to fly out of the big bowl.

          • Liberoid Ron

            As I said over there <points> I want to get AWAY from crushing things. It’s undignified, plus I get crumbs everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

          • Sister the Resister

            (that’s what the plastic bag is for. I use cheap gallon ziplocks.)

          • Liberoid Ron

            I laugh at Ziplocks. Like this: Ha! Ha! Ha!

          • Sister the Resister

            I laugh with you! Ha HA!
            [but then I go buy them at the Dollar store, cheap shit things, and usually use them at least twice, because yes, bleeding heart hippie that I am, I wash and reuse my zip lock baggies]

          • Anna Elizabeth

            You don’t have fists? Or a butt?

          • Liberoid Ron

            a) White boy ain’ got no ass.
            b) Getting past the ‘crushing things with my bare hands’ is one reason I want to try Corn Flake Crumbs.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            LOL

            Of course, the “jar as rolling pin” is simple and effective.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I love crushed Corn Flakes to bread chicken. I just crush a couple of cups worth in a ziplock, add a bit of Flour and seasonings, then seal and dump the bag after coating the chicken.

          • Liberoid Ron

            Home-made Shake n Bake!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Roger, Affirm. :)

            Also, potato chip crumbs work equally well. XD

          • Liberoid Ron

            Mmm, sour creak and onion chicken…

          • Querolous
    • Panika MCD

      pretty sure the whole “all snowflakes are unique” thing is now considered false.

      • azeyote

        well i read somewhere on the internet that they are – it might have even been on this site

        • Panika MCD

          of I wasn’t restricted to my phone, I’d find the updated info. I think I read it on IFLS.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Is there anything in the world that screams desperately lonely basement dweller like a Marty Stu who stands atop the world and all its pomps (ooooh, an accountant) but is still so gutted by the existence of people who disagree with him that he’s got to write essays in liberal blog comments? Because Cletus sure has been hanging around the football field a whole lot since graduation for someone who wants to signal how fulfilling his job at the gas station is.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Toss out a little sarcasim, next thing you know you’re in a big squirmish. Before the day is done you’re ready to fire a Predatator missile at someone.

    • msanthropesmr

      A sarcasim is a snark training simulator.

      • Master Contrail Program

        I thought it was an exotic spice, and the active ingredient of logic mace.

      • Me not sure

        Sar Casim sounds Muslim to me.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Actually, spelled in that manner it looks like a title for a Kipling story.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        *Slow clap*…took me a sec.

    • I really think they are most upset that we won’t stop making fun of them

      • Panika MCD

        they were just sure that Omarosa was right and the fact that we’re not bowing down to Dear Tsarina is just UNACCEPTABLES!!1!1!!!!

      • They really thought they were going to get some respect once Trump “won”. LOL.

        • Panika MCD

          they were never crowned prom queen either.

          • Sister the Resister

            See? participation rewards could have prevented this tragedy!

          • Panika MCD

            “tragedy” means “goat story”.

          • Amy!

            Everybody run!
            The homecoming queen’s got a gun nuclear football!

            No, never mind, you can’t run far enough.

            Resist!

  • Tallmutha

    So many ragegasims.

  • veska

    “because it is just an outlet to your pent up anger because you are a mediocre human looking for attention”

    Projection much?

    • msanthropesmr

      Yeah – but at least I KNOW I’m mediocre.

      • I keep getting confused. Liberals are snobby elites who do not care about, and are out of touch with, REAL americans but, at the same time, we’re all mediocre human beings with work-a-day jerbs in cubicles or on factory lines, while at the same time, we are also all being paid by Soros, and yet, none of us have jobs at all.

        • Panika MCD

          we wouldn’t understand.

        • TJ Barke

          The cognitive dissonance is getting to be a real pain in the ass.

        • Sophia

          Kind of like all the good jobs are going to Mexico but the Mexicans are sneaking into the US to steal all the good jobs all while dodging taxes but collecting welfare. It always amazes me how this can be said in one stream of a conversation

  • H0mer0

    “It was awfully nice of him to take some time from his world travels to come down to Loserville and enlighten us poor slobs we’ve been played for fools by his fellow rich people. ”
    Dok, you have a way with words.

  • I just picked a random ep of Lucifer to watch. He just described his therapist as “verbal ebola”. Seems appropos

  • Tiny kaiju

    I can no longer take the cognitive dissonce of these people. Is there anyone out there in the 44% (number removed from my ass & the Professinal Left podcast. No, no I do not have a citation) with even half a brain left? The shitty thing is, when the extinction event comes, they’ll be the ones that survive. On the up side, the christianists among them will be wicked disappointed they didnt get raptured.

    • proudgrampa

      That 44% seems a little low.

      • Panika MCD

        I think s/he’s referring to Trumpster fires. seems a bit high to me.

        • 44% of those who voted. In actuality it is like…26% of the population or something

        • proudgrampa

          OH. You may be right!

    • I really do not think they will be the ones to survive.
      For one thing, they don’t know how to DO anything. Some might hunt or fish, but once you hunt all the animals out, what then? Can they make shelters? Can they plant a sustainable crop rotation? Can they weave baskets or fishing nets? Can they make fire without gas to help them along?
      Probably not.

      • Tiny kaiju

        The speices will be extinct within 3 generations. They wouldn’t be able to adapt to a change of rules in college football, never mind the challenges of nature.

        • Liberoid Ron

          ‘They wouldn’t be able to adapt to a change of rules in college football, never mind the challenges of nature.’
          That was beautiful. Truly, truly beautiful.

        • Biff52

          College. As if.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        But they have guns!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        This. These guys all think they will be Max Rockatansky, or Celestia Help Us, Lord Humongous, but they will all probably die of cholera, shitting their bowels out in bloody streams when they don’t follow basic cleanlines and food safety After the End.

    • Shoto

      “when the extinction event comes, they’ll be the ones that survive.”

      Cockroach Libelz!!

      • Tiny kaiju

        That’s what the “future of humanity” (literal scare quotes) will live on until the diseases and inability to adapt kills them.

    • Apple Scruff

      I don’t know what it is!!! This 44%’er attacked me on Twitter. Her feed defines cognitive dissonance. LOL.

      https://twitter.com/Shirleygerhard3

      • Biff52

        Reason enough for me to avoid that joint.

  • JD Mulvey

    I always KNEW “Shakedown Street” was a coded message from Jerry warning us of a future one-world government! Now that it’s been CONFIRMED as TRUTH I’m going off to space dance.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Spinners!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Somehow, the private sector NEVER shakes people down, but government does all the time as a matter of course.

  • Left Coast Tom

    Finally, there was “cassisanass.” We’re not sure what cass ever did to piss this person off

    Maybe he was just trying to pick a ‘nym expressing his favorite things in life, French liquor and a piece of ass?

    • JD Mulvey

      I think he was trying to say “Cassius, an ass.”

      He’s still upset at that Julius Caesar assassination thing.

      • Sister the Resister

        Or maybe still has a burr under his saddle (like my grandfather, may he rest in something something mumble frown) about Mohammed Ali’s name change…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        well, we are coming up on the 15th in a few days

        • proudgrampa

          Ides see what you did there.

          • Sarah Balfour

            It’s also the day when our Dear Leader claims she’s gonna trigger Article 50.

        • JD Mulvey

          I don’t think our current despot has a thing to worry about in a visit to the Senate.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        And seldom he Smiles

    • What Pierre said

      I used the google machine and it turns out Anass is an Arabic name meaning friendly. So friendly blackcurrant? Somehow I don’t think that’s what he was going for.

      • imstilrit

        Google machine. Ha, that’s great. I’m going to use that. Haha! Good one.

  • Tiny kaiju

    It’s nice that Whitewater Mike bqtwhver has all these excellent professional services at his beck in call. I’ll bet he doesn’t have a good pyschiatrist to help him examine why he spends his time lying to people on-line.

  • Iron Monkey

    rainbows and unicorns tears…safe place in your transgender bathroom snowflake For a wingnut, writing means banging a bunch of words together–most of them nouns–without making sense.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      *This* Transgender Snowflake spent her week shopping, meeting friends, and having Hawt Sex with a man half her age, I wonder how this Shit-Fer-Brains spent theirs?

      • Liberoid Ron

        This is something upon which I do not wish to speculate.

        • shivaskeeper

          At a guess? I would say holed up in a basement surrounded by Mountain Dew cans and piss bottles cackling about how they triggered the libtards?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            80%+ Likelihood that you are correct.

    • Sister the Resister
    • Logic of Color

      funny though, they’re the ones terrified that someone might see their pee pee but we’re the snowflakes.

  • SeekingResistanceBarbie

    I almost (not really) feel sorry for some of the DSFBs. They listen to RWNJ spew and get worked into a rage. They can’t always follow or remember the “logic” they’re hearing, so they end up stringing together some talking point phrases and trigger words that they don’t fully comprehend and regurgitate here.

    • shivaskeeper

      In regards to the trigger words they use, most of them aren’t even trigger words. They just spew some shit and ask if you are triggered and need a safe special snowflake space or something.

      • Biff52

        “Code” words like Alinsky and Soros get them into a frothing rage, even though they know nothing about either of them.

        • shivaskeeper

          But they are the ones using those words too. That makes no sense. Are you saying they might be triggering themselves while trying to trigger us? It’s madness I tells ya.

          • Biff52

            ‘zackly. I don’t know any worthly wokett scum who ever mentions either of them except as a joke, it’s always the wingnuts who bring them up and then go insane about it. Madness, indeed.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “Just love all the phony protests, the hatred, the lack of respect, the yelling and screaming and the FAKE atmoshpere from stirring ignorant people to false anger. Do you really love hating for no good reason so much? Do you really love making the rest of us suffer becausew e do not give in to your every baby need? Most of you Obamaites are just like him, crass, hateful, rude, immature. What a joy.”

    Yeah, Libturds, why can’t you learn to be civil and respectful like Republicans are? Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, Glenn Beck, Anne Coulter, etc…are well known etiquette experts, unlike that rage-y Obama.

    • shivaskeeper

      I think the logic goes like this. All the ones you mentioned are truth tellers. They are are not hateful and uncivil. We are hateful and uncivil for calling out the truth they are telling. We do that because we are special snowflakes who can;t handle the truth so we try to shut them down with out hate and incivility. If we would stop being so hateful we would see the glorious truth they are telling and fall right into line.

      • Don’t forget that we are all hive minded for not believing what we are told and falling in line

        • shivaskeeper

          Right. I forgot that one. Also too the irony of being told I can’t think for myself by someone who is willingly known as a dittohead. It is sublime.

          • This is why I think secretly, they know. They just…know they are being fools. But to admit they are wrong???? NEVER!!!!
            Hence all the butthurt about us still mocking them

          • shivaskeeper

            Cognitive dissonance is a motherfucker sometimes.

        • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

          Too bad we’re not, we would’ve gotten a lot more people to the polls in November.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      “Do you really love making the rest of us suffer becausew e do not give in to your every baby need?”

      Admission that we are making him/them suffer?

      • shivaskeeper

        No. I have gotten pretty good at parsing RWNJ. I think it’s saying we made it suffer under Pres Obama, because Pres Obama. It is no longer suffering, but it will again if a libtard even gets to be in charge again.

    • Amy!

      YOU LIE!!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        That was perfectly respectful, and not hate filled, because it was true!

        Also, too, that moron is one of my representatives.

    • theCryptofishist

      So, I figure that “atmoshpere” refers to a French father who used to go to a lot of punk shows.

  • “An habitual lying, scheming, egotistical, self serving maniac.”

    LOL Projection. Funny thing is, I HAVE EVIDENCE that this is Trump and every Republican ever. What do you have besides your deranged mind and other lying liar rightwingers? That’s right – nothing.

    Hmmmm, have a great attorney, blah blah blah… Thanks anyway, I don’t think I need much more help.

    And yet here you are bragging about it. Maybe buy a friend? (Not me, you can STFU so far as I’m concerned.)

    ~~~

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’ve never met a Republican online who wasn’t a millionaire. Most of the ones I know in real life are lower middle class, and live off of Social Security, and/or have government jobs.

      • So. Many. With Gov. Jerbs.
        And I go…you do know they want to slash your job, right?
        NAW NOT US!!!!! They mean those OTHER taker departments!
        Just had a big meeting where, guess what? We have to ditch 20 jobs by fall!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I have two acquaintances, and a brother, who are lifelong government employees, all with government health care, and who benefit greatly from other sources of government money, who bitch endlessly about moochers, and why do they even have to pay taxes that redistribute their wealth? They seem to be clueless that the rest of the taxpayers are supporting THEM.

      • proudgrampa

        ^^^THIS^^^

        My experience too. Also.

      • theCryptofishist

        I’m have a government job. I’m scared.

        Hold me.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “We like a clean unblemished world here and ilk like you are no longer welcome.”

    I can never remember – is it a herd of ilk, or a gaggle of ilk?

    • Sister the Resister

      I think it’s “flock,” or maybe “murder of ilk”

      • Anna Elizabeth

        A “gander”? Perhaps a “stook”?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Originally I thought it was a flock of ilk, but that doesn’t seem right, since ilk are two legged animals.

        • Gregory Brown

          I think it’s a bilk of ilk.

          • Sister the Resister

            School of ilk has a nice ring to it…

            [this is where a serif font would come in handy: Ilk… ilk…]

        • Sarah Balfour

          no, they’re quadrupeds, a subspecies of elk! Or perhaps an ilk is an elk that’s feeling a bit off-colour…?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I assumed ilks wee liberal humans.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          There are future shit-fer-brains candidates rubbing their tiny heads wondering WTF?

    • proudgrampa

      A plethora of ilk?

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie
      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I like to think that Wonkette is a charm of ilks, or a shrewd of ilks, but I think I like a destruction of ilks the best.

    • Are they ilk or oose?

    • Querolous

      A Klan of ilk?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    You know, for the first time I may actually believe that he’s just a horribly embittered abuse – is surviver the right word?

    https://twitter.com/owillis/status/840979340796035075

    • Aw poor Milo, is he still trying to be relevant now that his flock has turned on him?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Nah, unless he backchanneled this to someone so he could be outed. But as he hasn’t announced the Regnery deal for his book about how child molestation made him gay and political correctness drove him mad, it doesn’t seem like a good time for this.

    • Apple Scruff

      You know what’s interesting? My gay older cousin (in his 50s) has this same attitude. He was abused as a kid and thinks other abuse victims should “get over it”. And he’s also a meme-posting, Trump-humping, Obama-hating Republican.

      I don’t get it.

      • Self loathing is a hell of a thing, poor guy :/

        • Apple Scruff

          He also promised me he would find me health insurance better and cheaper than Obamacare (which I have now). That was three years ago. I’m still waiting.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, I’ve seen that plenty of times. Because if they get to decide how important it was, it can be not important, and then they control something.

      • theCryptofishist

        Covert message to self, perhaps?

    • Edith Prickly

      Bye Milo, no one wants you back. BTW why are you ashamed of your real last name, Mr Hanrahan?

      http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Milo_Yiannopoulos

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think he fancies himself as a Wildean aesthete, and a blondined jewish orgiast from Greece is way more theatrically exotic than an irish catholic dropout.

        • Edith Prickly

          I’m sure the lack of attention is scorching him – Milo doesn’t exist unless people are angry at him. https://medium.com/welcome-to-the-scream-room/im-with-the-banned-8d1b6e0b2932#.186hfufo7

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Oh, absolutely, but the fucked-up victim of abuse who was turned gay by a predator and then could no longer bear the secret pain because victim of the plague of campus PC narrative will always have a place in the right ecosystem. Hell, Jonathan Chait would probably have partially rehabilitated him in six months for a whack at speech codes. Fucked that one with this, though.

      • Nice catch, I hadn’t checked RationalWiki

    • That reminds me: I need to pick up some plain yogurt, corn starch, and cotton balls.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Maybe some has mentioned this below, but Malta and Croatia are fundamentally different places. Croatia is mostly Slavic, speak a Slavic language and is mostly on the mainland (yes, lots of islands along the coast). Malta is a small island halfway between Italy and Africa with a native language that is Semitic. So, you’d think a world traveler like WhitewatermkII could tell the difference. Also who still has a travel agent?

    • Liberoid Ron

      Is this true? They didn’t mention that the last time he played ‘Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?’!

      • proudgrampa

        Gosh, I loved that. Whatever happened to Carmen?

        • They found her. Turned out she was in Ohio the entire time

          • proudgrampa

            I did not know that…

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Deported.

      • Reddishrabbit

        God I loved that game growing up!

    • Edith Prickly

      My guess would be he’s never left the county he was born in.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I would not take that bet. You’d win, I’d lose.

      • eyelashviper

        He prolly hasn’t traveled more than a few miles from his double wide..

        • Yr. Gma

          Do double wides have basements?

          • eyelashviper

            Crawl spaces only, suitable for all forms of vermin.

    • Panika MCD

      hush now. you’re scaring the trolls.

    • shivaskeeper

      You have a travel agent when you are so rich and prosperous that you can’t be bothered to come out of your lifestyle as a gentleman scholar and leisure aficionado to make you own arrangements. You have people for that. Because you are a retired rich person.

    • theCryptofishist

      If it was Tuesday, that must have been Belgium.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Jonathan Gruber. Drink!

  • Tiny kaiju

    The fact that someone can call James O’Keefe a journalist wiithout immediately being consumed by a flock of angry geese, is the sign of a truly great Poe troll or idiocy so great that social services should step in*, **
    Asssuming that social services are not outlawed in the near future.
    **I have to read this little chunks, partly because I should be doing some work, here, at work, and partly because I can’t handle the stupidity.

  • eyelashviper

    Another OT comment here, but I just read this at The Real News Network, yet another defense of Russia/Putin, and neener, neener, the US does it also too.
    Never in my lifetime could I imagine that a good journalist, and especially one from the left, would step out to defend poor ole Russia from the US and NATO. No doubt that all nations, especially big ones, do very bad things, and to to this day, but to paint the Ruskies as victims is laughable.
    http://therealnews.com/t2/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=31&Itemid=74&jumival=18594

    • lolz. Glen G has been defending them ever since Wikileaks took up their cause.
      Because birds of a feather…..
      I am just wondering when leftists will realize that these so called leftists are actually libertarians?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Those of us with multiple working synapses realized this long ago. However, there are plenty of Jill Stein and Susan Sarandon types out there who just can’t grok that these assholes want to bring back feudalism.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      The Russians are very clever in that way: They court both the extreme right and the left at the same time. Obligatory Peter Pomerantsev quote:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/96cb284479edc692c6f48906fa2f2faff52179e893f8c67ac97549b428eaddb7.png

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Segregation had to be invented (yes, it meant convincing poor whites to look down on blacks): https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2017/02/segregation-invented/517158/?utm_source=twb

  • MAZS

    I don’t think I’ve seen the name James O’Keefe and the word journalist (contexts aside) in the same sentence this side of Fox & Friends.

    • I think even then they are very careful to call him a “Citizen journalist”

    • Panika MCD

      you haven’t met many of our trolls then.

  • Nounverb911
    • Left Coast Tom

      Schrodinger’s health care.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Whitewater Mk.2 has inspired me to show y’all my true identity and a glimpse of my life’s work as well. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ee4d0765814b93925315213302c2f1bb082cc80e4acdd1bdfbc6ad37fbfd3cf6.jpg

    Please keep this a secret, for all of our sakes.

    • Panika MCD

      do you need some Bat Shark Repellant?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Superman: has Fortress of Solitude, and a girlfriend named Lois Lane.

        Batman: Lubricant on his utility belt, and a boy with no pants in a cave.

        Advantage: Marvel. Cos Black Widow.

    • BloviateMe

      The shark suit is pretty convincing, but you need to work on your aim.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      No shark repellent for you this time!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt__1gwGZSA

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Is that supposed to be a shark? Because I’m pretty sure that’s a moray.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Well, let me just add ichthyologist to my list of unprovable impressive credentials…………

        Yes.

    • theCryptofishist

      That’s the biggest dildo I’ve ever seen.

      • theCryptofishist

        That clit-tickler is interesting, though.

  • Markuserektus

    From the Hillghazi files: Russian President Vladimir Putin’s spokesman said in an interview Sunday that the Russian ambassador who met with Trump campaign officials also met with “people working in think tanks advising Hillary or advising people working for Hillary.”

    “Well, if you look at some people connected with Hillary Clinton during her campaign, you would probably see that he had lots of meetings of that kind,” Dmitry Peskov told CNN “GPS” host Fareed Zakaria. “There are lots of specialists in politology, people working in think tanks advising Hillary or advising people working for Hillary.” (The Hill)

    • lol SURE we met directly with Trump people but maybe we met with people who might have advised Hill too!!! BOTH SIDES DO IT

    • ltmcdies

      of fuck off, Russia ….and I mean that sincerely….

    • This is an example of how bad things are. I can’t tell if this is sarcasm or if it’s for real.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      So, CSPAN sets up lobbycam® in Trump Tower and breathlessly reports on everyone who sets foot there (Kanye! Chris Christie! Paul Ryan!), while the Russian ambassador evidently comes in some back way with no cameras.

      Wonder who else comes in the back way?

  • AJ Milne

    Try SarcaSims. Manage a whole community of sarcastic commenters! Place them in their virtual comments thread, watch them argue, snark, breed, and drink! Coming soon on Windows, Mac, PS3, PS4, and XBox.

    • I would still only be interested in building the houses

    • Master Contrail Program

      I can’t wait to remove all the pool ladders and bathroom doors!

    • Panika MCD

      NSFRWNJs. people don’t breed. they make bad choices–like not labeling that package from Mr. Stork “return to sender”.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      9/9/9 tax plan?

      • AJ Milne

        Dunno. There’s a fine line between practical simplification for the purposes of making a workable/comprehensible game mechanic, and inducing terminal facepalm in economists.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Will there still be pixelated decency curtains?

    • doktorzoom

      The reviews are difficult to use as blurbs:

      “Oh, SURE it’s a great game” — Kotaku

      “‘Best’ game of 2017!” — Gamespot

      “I could say ‘I loved it,’ but that would sound insincere. No, really I just loved it.” — Zero Punctuation

      • Sardonicuss

        “It filled me with inertia”. – Satan

      • TJ Barke

        “Is this memes?” Jim Fucking Sterling, Son.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • “You mean that computer chip queered our coffee machine?!”

      “You’re darn tootin'”

      -Give me immortality or give me death – The Firesign Theater.

  • Panika MCD

    Bob Kaufman LIBELZ!!!

  • ZangoCrudmonger
    • Nounverb911
      • Anna Elizabeth

        I declare this to be the most AWE-sum Kittie Photo evers!

      • phoenix00

        Whoa best of both worlds!

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      I imagine the offspring as being checkerboard. Or gray.

      • nightmoth

        My 6th grade teacher in Georgia told us that when white people mated with black people the children turned out checkerboard. True story.

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          Really? I grew up in TN and never heard that, although I was taught that slaves were better off being owned by their benevolent masters. Rape (or consensual sex, for that matter) between races never happened, of course.

          • nightmoth

            My 6th grade “educator” was a real nut case. Hateful, sarcastic, abusive, racist—declared it a day of celebration when Jackie Kennedy had her miscarriage. She couldn’t be fired, though, because she was the scion of a prominent (wealthy) family, and the school board knew there’d be hell to pay. So we kids paid hell, instead.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            Bummer. I was in middle school during the Kennedy administration, and my memory is that teachers got away with stuff that wouldn’t be tolerated now.

  • Have we reached MAX ‘MERKAAA!!!
    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/840977925704974338

    • AJ Milne

      … well, it _is_ kinda the obvious corollary to the drive-through liquor store.

      • Eileen Besse

        …and I’m here in Floriduh just observing them, too….

    • Master Contrail Program

      Max America comes when we have a drive-thru gun store and barbecue joint.

      Any day now I’d reckon.

      • Eileen Besse

        I’m here in Floriduh just waiting for it….

        • Master Contrail Program

          Me too, seems like the logical progression since I see fewer drive-thru daiquiri stands than I did in the 90s.

    • Amy!

      I have to ask: why is the window bulletproof?

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        In case they feel the stiff ain’t dead enough…

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Why does the glass have to be bulletproof?

  • LucindathePook

    According to postcard I got, Kedi (documentary about cats of Istanbul, not Constantinople) is showing 3/15 in Boulder at Dairy Arts Center and 3/17 at DIA in Detroit and Ft. Worth Museum of Art in, ;you guessed it, Ft. Worth.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Boring! Who cares about drunk Irish housecats?

      • LucindathePook

        Me

  • TJ Barke

    Attention shit for brains subjects: You are the dumbest fucks in all of history. You have elected the most incompetent and corrupt administration in american history. Its goal is to loot this country for all it’s worth.
    The elites you claim to hate are the ones now firmly running the show, and you put them there. They will destroy your children’s educations, they will take away your rights as workers, they will make the very air you breath and water you drink cancerous while hiding in safe little enclaves.
    They will charge you for the privilege of working for them, and yet make it so miserable to be without work that you will thank them for it. There will be nowhere left in this country they will not own. There will be no laws preventing them from basically robbing you through financial schemes. They will happily replace you with robots and murder you with opiates that you will go bankrupt trying to afford.
    And all the while they will be scapegoating those that have nothing to do with it, and those trying to save the nation. They’ll blame it all on immigrants, they’ll blame it all on blacks, they’ll blame it all on liberals, leftists and socialists, the very people trying to end their greed and exploitation.
    And you’ll eat it all up. You’ll swallow their lies and propaganda, as you’ve proven you will. Because you’re the dumbest, most servile scum to ever walk the earth. Clinging to false narratives of “strength” and “independence” and “decency”. All while damning those that are different from you, for no more reason than you can’t or won’t try to empathize with them.
    In short, go to hell, goddamned traitors.

    • Now that is the kind of reaching out I can get behind

    • But tell us how you really feel …

    • shivaskeeper

      I’m not sure I understand how you really fell. It may a bit subtle for them to understand.

      • TJ Barke

        I like it. I could have been a little more expansive and comprehensive, but overall it gets the point across.

        • shivaskeeper

          It’s good. I like it.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      but at least they got to piss off a liberal in the process and that’s all they care about

    • OrG

      Yep, that just about covers it.

    • TJ Barke

      Go ahead and copy paste this shit if y’all feel like it. No attribution necessary. Or wanted, actually.

    • theCryptofishist

      You know, “elites” isn’t a monolith. And business elites are much more interested in screwing their fellow-humans than the intelligentsia is.
      (Very broad brush, I know, still a potentially useful rule of thumb.)

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      They like the “easy” answers. These assholes tell them their problems AREN’T caused by their laziness and refusal to educate themselves or get a usable set of skills. It’s caused by THEM. The OTHER TRIBE. Their lack of education causes them to think with their lizard brains only, if “thinking” can be the word.

      Here’s someone with easy answers, telling them it’s not their fault, they don’t have to work or change anything, it’s someone else’s fault, someone they don’t know and don’t like anyway, and the big man will fix it all for them, easily. They want the easy answers.

      These are the same people who think buying lottery tickets is the way to riches, who snap up “lose weight with NO EFFORT!” books while pounding down the hamburgers with fried-chicken buns and 2-liter Cokes, who would rather be angry at more educated, more thoughtful people than, you know, get some education or even learn something about the world.

      They are fearful. They are lazy. They are racist. They are stupid. They are being played, endlessly, by venal, money-addicted con men, and now they’re dragging the rest of us down with them, and mocking the folks who are trying to warn them that they’ve elected arsonist who’s setting their house on fire. I truly hate them.

      At some point they will have to face the pain, as the lies and propaganda come to roost, and I just hope it doesn’t have to get to Germany in 1945 for them to be silenced. History will judge them.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    in all fairness, WhitewaterMkII may be my fault. I was in the mood to mss with the idjits that night and kind of egged him on. He was just so damned easy- Mr wealthy and worldly- gotta love a guy who shamelessly lies on the internet…

    • We do not blame you. MUCH.

    • eyelashviper

      Teasing bugs in a jar….

    • Panika MCD

      to be fair, their Dear Tsarina lies on the internet all the time. they may think doing so is mandatory.

    • Edith Prickly

      The Least Interesting Man in the World.

    • Sardonicuss

      You were only doing your job.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      No joke, for a while I met of conservative “lawyers who fought in Somalia.”

      Who do they pretend to be nowadays?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      What these idiots don’t realize is that some of us can pick up tone from written words, and can make judgements on truth or lies on that basis that often turn out to be well-founded.

      And they come across as boasting liars all the time. It’s what makes them so mockable, and spurs them to go farther and confirm our assumptions.

    • RobespierreHoo

      Have you visited any dating sites lately?

    • … gotta love a guy who shamelessly lies on the internet…

      You Like Bannon?

    • theCryptofishist

      Did you ask him about his name? Because at first I thought it was short for Whitewater Market II, but then it occurred to me that Whitewater Mark II was more likely. I’d like to have a definitive answer.

    • phoenix00

      Eh, I did my share of troll-poking a while back while jobless so you’re not the first nor the last.

  • folderol

    An habitual lying, scheming, egotistical, self serving maniac.

    Does Kenny drop his H’s? Also, did he change the subject of his ridicule in mid-paragraph?

    • Sardonicuss

      Cockney dyslexic.

    • Panika MCD

      s/he’s probably from Russia or a former SSR.

  • Jay Free

    Every week this happens and it seems every week the idiocy expands. They all say the exact same crap and think they came up with it all by their lonesome little selves….either that or they’re all in on a massive conspiracy to delegitimize their opposition through deflection, defamation, disinformation and general douchebaggery – likely the latter.

    I don’t know about y’all…but I’ve had enough of this. Reading their comments, both here and on sites like Breitbart, drives one to think that these fools no longer deserve their right to free speech…but there’s my dilemma…how can we shut out the psychos from negatively affecting the political atmosphere with their toxic political pollution while maintaining the values that America was built upon?

    • SadDemInTex

      The only action we can take is to resist…resist lies, resist despair, resist racism/sexism/all the isms, resist propaganda. And we can actively take part in our local area. Even in Texas there are many who are taking action…and if it can happen in this benighted place there is a glimmer of hope.

      • Jay Free

        Things are definitely not as bad as they make it out to be….I’m saying this and I’m poor! Still grateful for the occasional delectable meal treat of frozen pasta

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’m trying Random acts of kindness, and smiling. I encounter lots of middle-age and elderly folks, and I realize I probably am a bit scary to these sheltered folks. So, a smile, a friendly greeting, opening a door, or assisting with reaching items are my weapons.

        It’s pretty awesome when an elderly lady asks me for makeup advice, or tells me my Mom must have raised me right. :)

      • Panika MCD

        we’re hearing a Nelson bill in State Affairs which adds sexual assaults committed in not-TX to the list of reasons you can lose custody. (I guess currently sexual assaults have to happen in TX to count.)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Voltaire never met Reinhard Heydrich.

      • Sarah Balfour

        oh and if you’re thinking about that “I don’t agree with what you say…” thing, Voltaire never said it.

    • At first thought, I’d say education. But, given how the GOP is striving to tear our education system apart, I’m thinking that might actually be a dead end.

      • Jay Free

        They aren’t concerned with education…jesus was against heretical behavior, according to their bible

    • nightmoth

      same here—Wonkers who live in countries other than the USA have pointed out that our libel laws are very weak, so that may be a place to start as soon as we get the jackels out of their appointments.

      • Jay Free

        What would happen if political parties were banned? Would we be so quick to take sides?

        • nightmoth

          Lord–now that’s a revolutionary idea! There is a lot of “us vs. them” in the party system right now. More than I’ve ever seen, and I’m oldish.

          • Jay Free

            I’ve been advocating that idea for a couple of decades…even back when I was a brainwashed republican

        • artem1s

          freedom of assembly. and how do you define party? the Tea Party is not an actual thing. There is no such registered party. You know that right? Every one I know who is registered Independent is just a more ignorant R. Same with every self proclaimed libertarian.

          Now forcing corporations to own their lobbying and funding of parties, THAT I could get behind. If Exxon wants to pour money into a political race, they should have to put their name on every stinking penny and they should have to get a majority of their stock holders to approve it. The primary danger of Citizen’s United wasn’t the money, it was about how they could now hide where the money was coming from.

          • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

            Zackly!

          • Jay Free

            I’m an independent…am I a “more ignorant R” too? Are you also assuming I’m too stupid to realize that the Tea Party isn’t an actual party? Really? Look man, ease up on the harsh dialog and stop with the republican tactics of assume and conquer. I’m (mostly) on your side. Your snark is flawed as it has caused you to estrange a teammate.

            Right to assembly doesn’t guarantee the right of a political party to exist. IMHO…It only provides a legal avenue for minority opposition to protest majority rules…hence the utter failure of democratic republics and representative government.

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          Adding to Artem1s’ comment (which wasn’t allowed, BTW), how do you outlaw the human tendency to form into Us vs. Them? Almost always into to groups, even. Even if we somehow outlawed political parties, we’d still band together as for and against this policy, or that tax, or this other blue law.

    • artem1s

      all you need is snark. snark is all there is. apologies to JL

    • doktorzoom

      You can’t. We’ve always had idiots, and they come and go.Right now, they think this is their moment, because there’s a sympathetic administration (which is capable of doing real damage, yes). But polling reliably shows most Americans reject their bigotry. Don’t mistake noise for actual numbers. As always, the best response to ugly speech is daylight, more speech, and the cleansing power of ridicule.

      • theCryptofishist

        I need to add ridicule to my scouring powder, because I’ve got some stuff burned onto my stove.

      • Jay Free

        Holy sheepshite! The legend replies to my little ol’ comment. Thank you for noticing me! I always ignore the psychotic rantings of biased ignoramuses, but the chorus is growing louder and more in tune. I agree with you but soon they will congeal into a boiling geyser of influential hate and I would like to try to stop that before it happens.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It’s just that the idiots have easy to use computer interfaces that allow them to spout their idiocy at very low cost.

  • Nounverb911
    • Blacktop Autumn

      A child is only perfect when it’s lily white and raised by those just like him / her.

      I shuddered typing that.

      • Oh, a brown babycan be perfect as long as it’s in the mother’s womb. Once it’s out though, fuck it.

        • Unless you can assign a monetary value to the child, and sell it a few years later. Just like in the good old days!

    • Clyde Barrow

      “Culture and demographics are our destiny.”

      Did he plagiarize that directly from Mein Kampf?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        They can’t grasp higher values. The Founding Fathers could, at least partially, but these people can’t transcend outward appearance.

      • Panika MCD

        boiled down with tractor fuel and strained through a coffee filter.

    • What’s he talking about? All his kids are somebody else’s babies.

    • TJ Barke

      Culture jamming, how the fuck does it work?

    • theCryptofishist

      He knows that “Western Civilization” is in part a child of Islamic cultures.
      No, wait, he doesn’t. Dang, he sounds piss-ignorant.

      • Panika MCD

        sounds?

    • Panika MCD

      babbies are a terrible building material when you’re making a BIG BEAUTIFUL WALL.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Check Mate! I need Alcohol with my Coffee (my Elixir) for this sub Average idiot.

      (All words starting capital is of Arabic root, of course our cultures are a mishmash of the cultures they have contact with)

  • Some observations…

    will never have to do anything again in life that I don’t want to

    Fair enough…but still do the hygiene thing anyway.

    Enjoy your cubicle!

    Thanks, I will. And I’ll enjoy it all the more for you not being in it.

    the wolf is here and no one hears your screams of desperation anymore.

    What the actual fuck??

    the shakedown street that Jerry Garcia was trying to warn you about

    Warn us about? You mean that street where JC invited us visit and poke around? Oh wait…you never listened to a Grateful Dead song in your life except for what played on the classic rock station. You just heard the word “shakedown” and then put 2 and 2 together and came up with madness, right?

    Dobbs help us.

    • shivaskeeper

      I’ll handle the wolf one. We’re all sheeple. Sheeple need to be afraid of rugged, individualistic, he-men wolves like Bill.

      I would also be willing to wager hard money he will claim an armed society is a polite society while not understanding the context it was written in originally either.

      • Scrofula

        Wait, there was context? No snark, what was it?

        • shivaskeeper

          It’s from a Heinlein story, Beyond This Horizon, written in 1942 as a two part serial.

          The context is a future word where almost everyone is a genetic superman with near perfect physical and metal attributes who is expected to live for centuries with no medical intervention needed and be damn near immortal with the right treatments. Combine that with a post scarcity utopia as written, and you have a mass of bored humanity. Also, almost all interpersonal conflicts are resolved by dueling. So you had better be unfailingly polite and make sure to give no offense or you and another superman will end up dueling to settle it

          The truth of it is that’s it a fictional society that works because the author wrote it to work as a hook to hang the actual story on.

          • theCryptofishist

            Thank you. I’ve never known the complete story. And, um, when you’re author you get to make up any rules you like, and if people read it, voluntarily, it works. But that doesn’t make it true–something the deleted non-commenters don’t seem equipted to understand.

          • shivaskeeper

            Right. The dueling and all that mere background detail to the actual story. I added a summary of the story above.

            And you are absolutely right about that basing policy off of science fiction, even well written Sc-Fi is not a good idea.

          • theCryptofishist

            I’d offer up Star Wars as a case in point, but that’s really just space themes on top of the same old story…
            However, I think having drug policy based on The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch is part of the American “Care” Act.

          • Swampgas_Man

            I’d still rather live under the Star Trek Federation economic system, if anybody could ever explain it.

          • theCryptofishist

            If there’s any poverty, it’s well hidden. I dunno, maybe Star Fleet is super elite, and we don’t know. Or maybe they are out int he universe and never have to see the bad stuff at home.
            Do any of the characters seem to have had traumatic childhoods, with soul-searing poverty. Tasha Yar, I seem to think, but was that a Federation world?

          • Scrofula

            Gotcha, thanks!
            It does put a whole new spin on that phrase (like most phrases when you look into them).

          • I’m pretty happy that Heinlein didn’t live long enough to see the election of 2016 – he pretty much predicted that it would be the LAST ONE in his Future History stories.

            And he would totally piss all over the uselessness of the RWNJs that use a phrase of his as an anti-gun control mantra.

          • shivaskeeper

            He most certainly would have.

      • Panika MCD

        according to gun bill testimony, we need either a donkey or a sheep dog to protect us and this is a metaphor where dogs and donkeys as guns or armed themselves because: everyone knows that McGruff and Eeyore are packing.

        • shivaskeeper

          The sheep, sheepdog, and wolves thing is also taken out of context damn near every time it’s used.

          • Panika MCD

            what about the donkey? does anyone ever think of the donkey?!

          • shivaskeeper

            I am completely unfamiliar with the donkey thing. All seriousness, I don’t think I know that one.

          • Panika MCD

            I wasn’t before I had to cover a gun hearing. it was terrifying.

          • shivaskeeper

            I am asking for a reference for it. I am completely unfamiliar with this. It might be something I need to know if it ever comes up. Googling gun control donkey just brings up some t shirts and I don;t thank that’s what you’re talking about.

            The sheep, sheepdog, and wolves thing is a legitimate quote that is taken out of context all the time so I am genuinely curious about the donkey thing.

          • Panika MCD

            it was in a TX House Homeland Security hearing in 2013. give me a bit and I’ll find it. I didn’t know a donkey could sub for a sheep dog either.

          • Panika MCD

            can’t find the doc. look for “what is a donkey used for ranch sheep”.

          • shivaskeeper

            Thanks. That gives me a place to start. I’ll look around.

          • shivaskeeper

            So, using them as a guardian animal. I can see that.

            They are massively aggressive when they are riled up. I’ve never worked with donkeys personally, but I have had run ins with wild ones. They do not run from danger. I have seen them attack armored vehicles.

    • Panika MCD

      inre the wolf: s/he took the brown acid.

  • Clyde Barrow

    I kind of like it when they use the term “snowflake” ever other word. That’s the equivalent of a giant neon sign above their heads that says, “I’m a dolt that buys into every Alt-Right article on the web….and my mom still hasn’t brought me some meatloaf to my basement lair.”

    • Scrofula

      Or, I can prove Hillary is bad because I can spell it “Killary”. QED.

      • Clyde Barrow

        They use a plethora of keywords designed to agitate, but that’s about all they’ve got in them is grade school antics.

    • Panika MCD

      mom is busy trying to find you a prom queen who’s also too a virgin and will sleep with you. she’s gone through about 55 thousand yearbooks, but there are millions more, mote.

    • Johnatx

      As, c’mon. Meatloaf (the food) can be awesome. I make it with falafel instead of crackers or bread. Way too good to waste on a basement dweller

      • Swampgas_Man

        IF you top it with ketchup instead of gravy.

  • Scrofula

    “You libtards are teh bad jouralists! I don’t get the sarcasism” seems to be the common theme. We’ve been screaming for years that RWNJs don’t get the difference between “news” and “news aggregators” and “editorials” and these guys prove it.
    I mean, how does “reader supported, please give us munniez, our Winnebago is busted” translate to millionaire MSM? About one minute of glancing around the homepage tells you what you need to know; due diligence is not their thing.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Due diligence is boring, time consuming, and they’d rather be looking at pr0n.

      • bluicebank

        Liberals can do both, tho.

        • Scrofula

          TWO open windows.
          That’s too much multi-tasking for these guys.

      • TJ Barke

        So would I, but I do it anyway.

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          And sometimes you get both on the same thread!

    • Clyde Barrow

      I tried to explain that to a dolt that was complaining about a Sacramento Bee editorial being “biased fake news”. He just couldn’t grasp the concepts between an editorial and news reports.

      • Scrofula

        It’s what happens when all your “news” is Limbaugh–the lines between opinion and fact have been destroyed.

        • theCryptofishist

          Or maybe you’re just not used to “fact” at all.

        • Sarah Balfour

          fools Rush in…

          (don’t. It’s 00:47 on Monday. I’m on the comedown from a tab of Lucy I found in my bedside drawer, I’m hungry and I’ve no money for food. Or anything).

          • Scrofula

            Sorry, you type well. Next time send it to me. It’s been way too long.

      • Panika MCD

        remember that time a troll told my that my point of view was fake? that was the end of me trying to make sense of troll magicks.

  • nightmoth

    >Sigh< Sometimes I wish you wouldn't do the deleteds on Sunday because on the monthly occasion when I attend church (the male choir does old school spirituals then)
    I come home full of love and peace and then I look at the deleteds, because I cannot resist Wonkette–it's hypnotic–MUST READ—and then all my church goes "poof" and I get all stabby and punchy again. The End.

    • Scrofula

      It’s our libtard mission of waging war on Christianity.

      • nightmoth

        It works, you dastardly knaves! Got my fingers in my ears right now going “lalala” over that “Love your enemies” stuff.

    • Panika MCD

      true story: you can read the Sunday posts on Monday also too.

  • PsycWench

    “She is an idiot, no doubt. Maybe not in everyday life, but, in the political world people have came to see her as she really is. An habitual lying, scheming, egotistical, self serving maniac”

    Trump’s sex reassignment surgery sure flew under the radar.

    • Jack Tenhet

      When I saw that, I thought “They’re describing 45, not Clinton” myself.

  • bluicebank

    “‘Kenny’ also advised us that whether we like it or not, Donald Trump is now OUR president.”

    Hey, speaking of politicians not liked, McGrumpyPants McCain just got adorable today. Cuddly Old Guy Who Actually Served in Vietnam told pants shitter (oops, that was Nugent) told Bone Spurs McQuitter to show us his dick or STFU.

    True:

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2017/03/12/mccain-to-trump-retract-wiretapping-claim-or-prove-it/?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_pwr-mccain-1049am%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.fa4cf972c504

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Lokai and Bele from that one Star Trek episode

    Which one was Frank Gorshin? I was totally rooting for him to win.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Bele.

    • Sister the Resister

      Oh, no way, Lokai all the way, till the last 10 minutes, in which I hated both of them.

  • Thorn Spike

    Yep, “bovine excrement” reeks of east Texas.

    • Sister the Resister

      it reeks of some quip off an old tv drama. I can’t place it, but maybe Bonanza, or Dallas? Rockford Files?

      • Scrofula

        Hey, Bonanza was filmed in CA! Oh wait, yeah, Tipton, Turlock, cow shit, it works.

    • Panika MCD

      UT-Tyler LIBELZ!!!

  • Jamoche
    • Tallmutha

      Your life sounds hard but STOP VOTING FOR THESE PEOPLE, YA MOPES.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Hey, our (My wife and I) lives are hard as well but we don’t vote for people who run on making it harder and have shown that’s exactly what they intend to do. I do sympathize but there comes a point when people need to assume some personal responsibility and vote with their brains instead of their emotions.

        God, I hated typing “personal responsibility” because they’ve taken that phrase from us and twisted it to mean something else, like they do with everything else.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Just. Wow. Dinesh D’Souza is going to have to find something to ride other than the Democrats are the racists pony.

    https://twitter.com/SteveKingIA/status/840980755236999169

    • Blacktop Autumn

      I just don’t get how the unhealthy, unemployed, stupid, addicted white trash I see every day is the sort of civilization anyone would want.

      • Jamoche
        • Jack Tenhet

          Love Preacher!

      • Clyde Barrow

        Simple. Useful idiots such as the unhealthy, unemployed, stupid, addicted white trash of which you speak keep the kleptocracy in power.

        • Blacktop Autumn

          “Show me that green. Oh, and your uneducated corn fed ass is superior, so go hate on the queers, immigrants, and blahs.”

      • Scrofula

        Exactly–it’s all teh blahs and Joos fault.
        Get rid of them and civilization will be restored to all its former glory, a blinding white pyramid of meth and oxy and empty tallboys shining out across the land, WalMarts and racetracks, stadiums of WWE championships as far as you can see. Legally sanctioned stomping of sissies; reading is outlawed, and we nuke any country that dares oppose us!

        • Blacktop Autumn

          “Y’all’uns don’t READ!” — the liberal redneck.

          Frankly, I’m getting tired of carrying this particular group of people while they snipe at the “coast elites” — people who I increasingly identify with over them.

          Hard to believe I once wanted to help them.

          • Scrofula

            My belief in compassion for all living things is seriously strained by these folks. But then, sometimes euthanasia IS the compassionate route.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Classy, Sturmfuhrer Steve.

    • Tallmutha

      He won’t.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, he more or less called Bharara a coconut on twitter this morning, so at least he’s diversifying.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Since Preet put him away, making petty little comments on Twitter is Dinesh’s idea of revenge.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            There’s just a weirdly racist aspect to D’Souza’s thinly-veiled self loathing sometimes.

    • Sister the Resister

      Steve King, you racist, xenophobic piece of ignorant shit….

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        But you repeat yourself.

    • theCryptofishist

      You know, we get to build a new civilization. One with public health.

    • Johnatx

      Holy cow. That’s straight up white supremacy. I knew King was nuts, but not a white genocider

    • Jack Tenhet

      I wonder if he was born in Brazil and his father was a “scientist”.

    • ltmcdies

      I’m sure the Dutch really appreciate your 2 cents Steven
      Because Europeans love it when American politicians tell them what’s what

  • yyyaz

    Now Playing on the Global Stage! “Mass Insanity”!! Catch It Before It’s Gone!
    (all gone)

  • OrG

    To all wingnuts: It’s better to let people think you’re a dumbass than to open your piehole and remove all doubt. You’re welcome.

    • I do not think they have a choice. Even if they keep quiet, I can tell.

      • OrG

        So, you’re psycho…er psychic I mean?

        • Scrofula

          The Gadsen flags and Starts n’ Bars and bumper stickers on their F150s are usually a clue.

          • Panika MCD

            you have teleport abilities?

          • Scrofula

            Only as far as I can see, and all I can see is four walls, so, sort of.

          • Panika MCD

            and you’re seeing their bumpers how?

          • Scrofula

            OK, fine, I leave the house occasionally.
            Not often, but I do.

          • Panika MCD

            checking out RWNJ bumpers sounds scandalous.

          • Scrofula

            Sometimes you’ll see a pair of daisy dukes go by in WalMart, and think, what a waste. Likewise the occasional Iowa cornfed dude.
            Then you see someone go buy in their Rascal trailing the oxygen tank and realize that’s how it’d be in ten years.

          • magyar of infinite power

            F-150s are for people who use their truck the way G-d intended. Silverados and Rams on tho other hand…

          • Scrofula

            Hey, 1985 rust-red Toyota pick-ups or nothin.
            And please, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an F150 driven by anything other than a suburban cowboy too “manly” for these new SUVs.

          • magyar of infinite power

            Not in this neck of the woods. You rarely see a F-150 without scratches around the bed.

          • Scrofula

            More the opposite here (central CA). A Dodge is more likely to have redneck shit in the back, look used. F150s are always recently washed, no cans in the bed. The owners MIGHT be contractors or something, but would never use THEIR pretty truck to haul anything.
            And Toyota’s are the real workhorses, driven by latin laborers with lawn equipment in the back.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    SRS Question here: I just noticed the Katy Kat Mascara I bought is “Waterproof”. Will Coconut Oil remove that, or do I need to put Cold Cream back on the shopping list?

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie
      • Anna Elizabeth

        Sweet! Thank you. :)

        It’s a mile back to the store, glad I wont need to go again today.

    • magyar of infinite power

      Axel grease does the trick for me

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’d have to go to the store for that as well, tho. XD

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Looks like Sister Sarah shut down Sarahpac. It’s hard to believe she wasn’t actually spending the money on other candidates, mainly just on travel for herself!

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/01/26/heres-definitive-proof-sarah-palin-didnt-care-about-much-in-politics-other-than-sarah-palin/?tid=hybrid_experimentrandom_2_na&utm_term=.d2299e2d5c2d

    • Now that she’s been dumped by the orange one, no one is giving her the money anymore. It’s known that Trump doesn’t tolerate anyone taking money besides him!

      • Pisto75666

        She could make fight videos with her family? I think there’s still money in those.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Instead of “bum fights” it could be “hick fights.”

          • Pisto75666

            And with Bristol’s bottomless vagina and endless parade of baby daddies, they’ll never lack for participants!

        • OrG

          Better than Bumfights!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The same as Bumfights.

        • nightmoth

          If Bristol will co-operate, as Bristol usually does, she could do pregnancy porn. I understand it’s a fertile niche market.

          • Pisto75666

            TBH grifter that she is, I’m surprised she hasn’t done it already. BRB off to wash out my brain with some cartoons at that visual.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I heard he was considering making her an ambassador last week. Could you imagine being the poor say who has to deal with her on a regular basis?

      • bluicebank

        No honor among grifters.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Does this mean her fifteen minutes are up?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    “I do not understand the sarcasim,” Obviously, you are not one of us sarcastic, nymphs.

    http://wonkette.com/424174/jesus-communicator-sends-us-poorly-written-cease-and-desist-letter

    • Panika MCD

      I identify as a naiad.

      also too:
      PAN LIBELZ!!!!

      • You’re just being sylphish

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          I just love your dry-ad wit.

  • Pisto75666

    “Dip the tip of my truth arrows in honey”

    Wasn’t that the ‘plot’ of a porn video? If not, can it be?

    • Panika MCD

      yes.

    • proudgrampa

      I think it was a scene in “The Mazola Party.”

      • Pisto75666

        I just HAD to Google. You’d think I’d have learned by now.

    • BrianW

      “Truth Arrows of Honey” could be a great name for a gospel group though. Kinda reminiscent of Sweet Honey in the Rock (I think that was their name).

      • Panika MCD

        this reminds me on that one National Poetry Slam (when I was a twee writer) where some lady decided the stagr name “Chocolate Spear of Destiny” was a good idea.

        • BrianW

          Now THAT sounds like a great name for something kind of porny. The first porn opera perhaps?

  • Bitter Scribe

    “Roger” also thinks “bovine excrement” is the height of wit.

    Wait, wait…it’s not?

    • OrG

      It’s the new intestinal fortitude!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      No, but, see, his teacher can’t yell at him for saying it because it’s in the dictionary.

    • theCryptofishist

      A two-syllable word and a three-syllable word, combined, is Roger’s personal verbal best.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        And Roger said, “See? Six is my best combination ever. I done reel good.”

    • nightmoth

      Roger learned how to spell a great big word and he’s going to use it over and over.

      • Pisto75666

        Guess those Word-A-Day calendars ARE useful.

  • Nounverb911

    Oh Noes! Poor poor Mika and Joe, no more sucking up to trump.

    https://twitter.com/DeathAndTaxes/status/840956096764362752

    • Pisto75666

      And here we thought the BRANGELINA breakup was tough.

    • Scrofula

      Holy Shit!
      That’s like excommunication in Trumpistan. Will they lose their citizenship, be deported? (I won’t show up to the airport)

    • Mary Sandoras

      So 45 is creating a bubble of yes men and admirers. An ALT universe for fragile egos.

      • Scrofula

        Almost like some kind of “safe space”.

        • nightmoth

          Almost like THEY’RE the “snowflakes”–white, cold and fragile.

          • Scrofula

            And the rest of the joke: ” . . . and enough of them close public schools.”

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And sterile.

          • nightmoth

            I wish.

        • Pisto75666

          Just add Starbucks cups!

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        44.5 is more appropriate, I think.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      That’ll sting. JFC, the POTUS is acting like a Tween pouting over BFFs.

    • ltmcdies

      Snowflake in Chief

  • SeekingResistanceBarbie

    Have RWNJs ever considered that denying women birth control and abortion could lead to a proliferation of Libtards?

    • Scrofula

      In their minds we only do teh buttsecks. It’s about as far as their knowledge of reproduction goes: Hole 1 makes babbies, Hole 2 makes the bovine excerement.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      The good news is that with all the unwanted and abused children we’ll get, many will need to be incarcerated in later life, so “for profit” prisons will boom! Synergy! Capitalism! Seven percent growth in the economy!

      • Pisto75666

        Illegal drug trade upswing!

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        Vertical integration.

      • Scrofula

        We SHOULD tell them that wealthy coastal elites will ADOPT all those unwanted babbies (since our buttsecks don’t make any), and we’ll turn them all into an army of trannie libtard rich moocher muslin Hollywood actors!

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        Yes, those $13/hr jobs will be taxed to cover the cost of the prisons and multi-million dollar salaries for the CEOs. Stupid RWNJs lose again.

    • mancityRed6

      they have to make it to voting age first.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        And be white.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Ouch! I think I just got shot with a truth arrow that’s tip had been dipped in honey. Unfortunately, I just got my Obamaphone recalled, my Cadillac is in the shop, and my Obamacare card was revoked. How shall I ever recover?

    • doktorzoom

      In your Safe Space, obviously.

    • mancityRed6

      crab legs and filet mignon bought with your EBT card?

    • Paul

      Speaking of vehicles in the shop, did you fix your trailer or do you need a new one?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        The insurance company sent me a check for my car ($700 less than they said they were sending me) and I haven’t heard a peep about my trailer. It was a very unique trailer, and I loved it, and the only thing I can find that is similar is $1500. I have a feeling I’m going to get shafted on that one. The lady who hit me was very nice, but I sure wish she’d hit someone else.

        • Paul

          Bummer. Whose ins. co.are you dealing with, yours or hers? I don’t know how S.C.’s ins. companies operate but it seems as if that claim should be paid by HER insurance.

          I would contact your own insurer and ask them to deal with the guilty party’s insurer for you.Perhaps they’ll have better luck. Threaten to take your business to another agency/company.

          Also check around for “legal services” from a consumer advocates agency if they are available.Good luck.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            It’s her insurance company (State Farm), and I thought they were doing a good job, until I got the check for $700 less than they told me AND I haven’t heard a word about my trailer. Grrrr…

            Thanks for your kind words!

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    I have no patience for RWNJs. Never really did. I love having meaningful conversations with people from the right when we can at least agree that the underlying purpose of the discussion is the betterment of our country. Anything outside of that is of no interest to me. I do have lots of fun telling RWNJs, Trump supporters and similar critters to go fuck themselves and pointing out how much of a waste of DNA they are, though.

  • Mary Sandoras
    • Anna Elizabeth

      What a fucking prize, and he’s getting away….

      • bluicebank

        He sealed the deal with the wife-beater T. Wait, technically no longer a T.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Atlanto-Mediterranean? 5’6″?

      You’ll date a 6’1″ Finno-Ugric Valkyrie, buster, and you’ll like it.

      • Red Bird Ω

        That had me confused. Is an Atlanto-Mediterranean someone from Atlantis?

        • mancityRed6

          Atlanta?

          • Red Bird Ω

            Well that makes it even more confusing. Unless…nah.

      • mancityRed6

        well, I mean, if you’re gonna twist my arm
        and if you’re at least 3 inches taller than me, you probably could

      • proudgrampa

        I know I would certainly enjoy the company of a 6’1″ Finno-Ugric Valkyrie. Just sayin’.

    • OrG

      WTF is a “minarchist”?

      • Mary Sandoras

        Not as radical as a full anarchist?

      • Regret

        Minarchism is Anarchism-Light.

        Anarchists want no government or leaders at all:, the word comes from the greek An (translates to YOU ARE NOT) and Archon (translates to THE BOSS OF ME!).

        Minarchists are a bit closer to the average political position. They want a teeny tiny government, only big enough to do (fill in subject here) but not big enough to do (fill in other subject here).

        If only they could agree on what subject goes where…

    • H0mer0

      John Stamos really let himself go!
      [le sigh]

    • this should go well.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’ll have the roast duck with the mango salsa…

    • Red Bird Ω

      My Spidey sense tells me there’s a reason why he is concerned about his “sub -race” being pure.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Does it involve incest?

        • Red Bird Ω

          Nah. Probably self-hate.

    • Regret

      That was weirdly specific on several levels.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      SWIPE LEFT SWIPE LEFT!!!

    • proudgrampa

      Oh, for fuck’s sake…

    • puredog

      It was only 7.72″. Impostor.

    • SayItWithOtters

      Methinks some of his vital statistics are a little puffed. 133 IQ as assessed by one of those mazes on the placemat at Applebee’s, maybe. To say nothing of the following claim.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I have no idea what my IQ is. I figure there’s a chance it’s higher than I expected, which means that I haven’t lived up to my potential, which would bum me out, or it might be lower than I expected, which means I’m not as smart as I think I am, which would bum me out.

        So, basically, I see the minimal effort needed to find out what my IQ is would most likely just bum me out. I got Trump for that.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Dafuq iis HMU?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        According to Urban Dictionary, Hit Me Up.

        Now that’s a smooth talker.

  • Jack Tenhet

    Couldn’t even read the first one. It was way too long and had no paragraph breaks. Tomb stoning, man, tomb stoning.

    The last one with the odd line break can be explained a bit. On the few instances I’ve copied and pasted text from one place to here, the same line breaks happen. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

    Overall, the Derp was pretty disappointing this week. I just scroll past whenever I see the name “George Soros” in most contexts, as we all do. It’s also funny how so many of these idiots think that having retirement savings somehow makes them immune from devastating economic policies. It’s also strange how those with “top shelf insurance” and massive savings still blame Obama for being a crappy president when they obviously were able to keep said insurance and save said money under his administration.

    • puredog

      I thought this week’s derp was truly vintage derp, maybe a 94 on the Robert Parker scale of derp.

      • proudgrampa

        Is that a logarithmic scale?

        • puredog

          hic. . .I doan no. . .

        • Querolous

          logorrheic scale

  • Nick Scroggs

    Gosh, these guys, I honestly want to do a whole article or essay, like a 400-page long one, on these trolls, form all the corners of space and time on the internet. Or something. There’s just not enough space for just analyzing even one, the insanity, the delusions, the parroting of the same old words and pejoratives, the complaining about intolerance then making anti-trans remarks, the love of Trump bringing back jobs yet insulting people as assembly lien workers; the sheer defiance of sociological, psychological, historical, political and other predictions of how people think, I can go on. It’s like, the insanity and whole incomprehensible underside of humanity’s psyche, it’s absolutely fascinating. I have seen people complaining about a Muslim Batman, saying that they “left the Matrix and now believe in the Lord”, saying that science has proven lack men are more aggressive than white men due to bogus studies, etc. Not sure what my point is now, oh right that this is a subject to write an encyclopedia on with hundreds of thousands of primary sources.

    • BrianW

      You could call it the Unified Field Theory of Derp.

      • Sheepshagger

        Quantum derp entanglement.

      • proudgrampa

        There is certainly a Derpological Constant to be discovered in that.

    • phoenix00

      I say start with Russia. They seem to be in the industry of derp.

  • “Like Hillary having such tight controls on her news image.”

    Uh, since when?

  • puredog

    I tend to vote Democratic, and I deem every bit of Trumplandia to be crap, so I am almost certainly a Deemocrap. Mea culpa.
    MY kittehz sleep in the nude, and spurn cat’s pajamas.
    And the post from “youse” is, dare I say it, brilliant derp (not the oxymoron it might seem).

  • LarryHoudini

    “I think it’s hilarious that the people you think are the cats pajamas are the #1 ripoffs of all time and you put them on a pedestal.”
    Somebody stab my heart with the adrenaline needle–I just ODed on irony.

    • bluicebank

      Uh, bee’s knees is my level of cuteness. But only when I’m asleep.

    • Jack Tenhet

      This palooka got hung up on some dame he thought would take away his roscoe but he was tooting the wrong wronger and had to take the bounce.

      Please at least laugh, I had to look up 40’s slang and it took me twenty minutes to find the right words for this.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Anyone else terrified that we have openly white nationalist “civilization savers” in Congress, for example Steve King, in addition to these trolls taking over boards elsewhere?

    • Red Bird Ω

      I am. By now the whole GOP is a white supremacist organization. The idea of a black man as president was a step to far for white Americans. But don’t worry. They want to find the most humane way to get rid of the brown and black people. s

      • OrG

        Well,since the ‘Welfare State” = Slavery,they could welfare ’em to death.

        • Red Bird Ω

          I think they tried that but since it failed they need a new plan.

      • SayItWithOtters

        Demographic reality is against them. And the young white people who do exist in this country are in many places killing themselves off with drugs as fast as they can get their hands on them. They know it’s a losing battle, they’re making a desperate grab for power while they can.

        • Red Bird Ω

          I’m sure they’re convinced that they can win. It would be sad if they end up hurting an entire segment of American society because of some stupid obsession with race. Oh wait, they already do that. I meant if they end up hurting themselves.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      Utterly.

  • Shanzgood

    Holy shit that’s a metric fuckton of derp.

    • Scrofula

      7/10ths a cubic furlong!

    • OrG

      Metric huh?Yer onna them Euro-socialist-commie-pinko-elitist snobs.Aintcha?

      • Jack Tenhet

        How do I get to be a Euro-socialist-commie-pinko-elitist snob? Does it pay well? Is there dental included? Inquiring minds wanna know.

        • OrG

          Do you measure in metres or inches?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            cubits…

          • Jack Tenhet

            Metres and sometimes I spell “color” with a ubiquitous “u”.

          • OrG

            Welcome to the club.

          • magyar of infinite power

            I do too, and I grew up in NM.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Truly an honour to be invited.

          • proudgrampa

            Well, you seem to know your onions.

          • mailman27

            The cloub?

    • LucindathePook

      Fucktonne?

  • Jack Tenhet

    I saw this live last night, but the Advocate has a decent and small article about it with a link to the video.

    Kate McKinnon Calls Out Liar (or Lawyer?) Jeff Sessions on SNL

    http://www.advocate.com/comedy/2017/3/12/kate-mckinnon-calls-out-liar-or-lawyer-jeff-sessions-snl

  • Nick Scroggs

    And Sarah Palin calling the GOP health care plan “RINO” with “aspects of socialism” that apparently only Trump will fix. One, it’s not common ownership of the means of productions, two, is it me or does the GOP’s powerful members keep somehow getting dumber and more worshiping of Herr Dumpface?

    • Jack Tenhet

      No, it’s not just you. They’re truly guzzling the Kool-aid these days.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    The Republican way – make things worse, just so that you can say you did something:
    “In short, Trumpcare helps nobody who needs coverage, and hurts those who need help most. The biggest problem with the bill, as Ezra Klein notes, is that “it’s not clear why it exists. What does it make better? What is it even trying to achieve? Democrats wanted to cover more people and reduce long-term costs, and they had an argument for how their bill did both. As far as I can tell, Republicans have neither. At best, you can say this bill makes every obvious health care metric a bit worse, but at least it cuts taxes on rich people? Is that really a winning argument in American politics?””

    http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/03/american-health-care-act-donald-trump

    • suziq

      yes?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        sadly, it is a winning argument with not only the wealthy, but the GOP rubes they brainwashed…

    • mailman27

      It works with people who don’t read stuff. And by “stuff” I mean “anything.”

  • leemoder

    “Dip the tip of my truth arrows in honey”??

    Sounds like a line from a Jackie Treehorn porn.

    • Jack Tenhet

      “He treats objects like women.”

      • proudgrampa

        There’s a catalog for that…

        • Jack Tenhet

          Is it wrong that I want to see said catalogue? I have a morbid curiosity about things.

        • Khavrinen

          There’s even a Ryan Gosling movie…

  • Sheepshagger

    Ahem. If I could just indulge my inner history nerd: you don’t get the most flak over the target because flak was an integrated system which sought to knock bombers down before they reached their targets and to channel them into lanes where there was better access for Luftwaffe interceptors to attack them. So in the oft repeated simile of the right wing troll as bomber pilot they would in fact be dumping their load over an uninhabited wasteland and achieving nothing with their sound and fury.

  • ltmcdies

    https://twitter.com/stevekingia/status/777568225538088960

    So I see Stevie is going all white supremacist-hers my favorite Nazi again

    He’s doing it sonthere will be purity among the white babbies… or something

    How stupid is this guy

    • Nounverb911
      • Sardonicuss

        Hey. I built the machine based on the plans that guy sent me. All it does emit weird smells and blurt out racist comments every 5 minutes.
        Perpetual energy my ass.

    • Jack Tenhet

      What is with these people and weird hair? I mean, seriously!

    • Red Bird Ω

      New flash. Geert Wilders is part Indonesian and dyes his hair blonde. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geert_Wilders

      • magyar of infinite power

        You can’t dye hair lighter

        • Red Bird Ω

          True. I should have said bleaches his hair blonde. :)

      • ltmcdies

        Figures… Hitler wasn’t actual German.

        As for that fucking rug on his head….

    • mancityRed6

      trick question?
      or rhetorical?

    • Scrofula

      So he wants us to breed humans with 2X-sized heads?

    • TootsStansbury

      Doodle lord, does that noggin have its own moons?

    • TootsStansbury

      Good lord, does that noggin have its own moons?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Wow. He really is going full white supremacist, not even trying to hide it.

      Apparently there is no American dream, no American ideals that applies to non-white people. These things must just come from white people, naturally.

      EDIT: Oh, he’s not talking about America there, is he. But he really is, isn’t he?

    • CripesAmighty

      But what to we do with babies with calves like cantaloupes? Quandary.

  • anon_the_great

    I’m sorry Wonkette but I have realized nothing good comes from reading the droolings of vicious morons. They reduce me to an impotent ball of seething rage my dog does not appreciate. Checking out of Shit for Brains for the the rest of the the Trumpanzee Occupation.

    Have a pleasant Sunday everyone. See y’all manana.

    • TJ Barke

      Just read the comments that aren’t allowed.

    • TheBoatDude

      I’ll see your mañana and raise you a marinara…

  • Red Bird Ω

    I dip my truth arrows in pepper sauce because I like the truth to sting.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    “Enjoy your cubicle,” said someone who has never met a writer…

  • Sheepshagger

    I saw the best illiterates of my generation destroyed by madness, fascist, hysterical obese.
    dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for Jeremiah Wright,
    angelheaded fascists burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the email server,
    who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating their eventual millionaire status.
    who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw Mohammedan devils dancing on tenement roofs illuminated by the light of WTC7.
    who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes hallucinating Milo and Shrieking “snowflake” among the scholars of war,
    who were employed by Fox for conspiratorial crazy & publishing obscene odes on the electronic windows of the skull,

  • Nick Scroggs
    • Jack Tenhet

      There never needs be a reason for a little MST3K.

  • Mavenmaven

    “George Soros” taking the place of “Saul Alinsky” as stand in for “The Jooz”.

    • Jack Tenhet

      What about Ari Fleischer? Wait, that’s not right.

      • Mavenmaven

        They had Saddam in those days to blame for things he didn’t do.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    so as not to harsh the happy fun thread buzz

    https://twitter.com/ReutersZengerle/status/841022085644341248

    • SayItWithOtters

      I’ll say. The story says she went from 18-year-old mom and nurse’s aide to LPN, to RN, to NP by the time she was 30 while working full time. That takes a superhuman level of gumption and time management.

  • Bill Slider

    A cubicle with a 6 figure salary beats a corner office with a panaramic view of the dumpster fire, but a smaller paycheck, everytime.

  • Jack Tenhet

    Figure I’ll put this here instead of dirtying up the nice Tuna Steak thread with it.

    Cracked discovers Roger Stone and it is hysterical!

    “I’m going to conclude my coverage of Roger Stone’s most trashy, gross
    misdeeds with one that’s head and shoulders above the rest. In 2000, he
    and Donald Trump went after an Indian casino in upstate New York that
    was stealing business from (aka competing with) Trump’s casino in
    Atlantic City. So they set up a fake “family values” group and ran a series of racist ads
    against Native Americans, calling the Mohawk tribe a bunch of crooks by
    falsely linking them to organized crime. Donny and Roger’s punishment? A
    $250,000 fine.”

    http://www.cracked.com/blog/trump-adviser-roger-stone-giant-anthropomorphic-dick/

    • Scrofula

      Locally, we did have a tribe go to war over casino management, complete with armed invasion (of the back office).
      It was way too incompetent to be actual mafia, and just shut the place down for months.

      • kareemachan

        This is O/T, but I deal with state-funded education possibilities. (Think home-schooling) One thing I’ve noticed lately is that many of these people who “home school” your kids for you tend to be near “interesting” businesses.

        I’m talking casinos, brewpubs, malls, distilleries, etc.

        I’m sure it’s just coincidental that you drop your kid off somewhere and can stroll on over to a casino while you wait….

        • Scrofula

          That’s . . . sad. States need to crack down a little on the home-schooling thing, just like with vaccinations.

  • mancityRed6

    The parents took me to the new car show. $20 for parking, are you kidding me?
    Then, chicken and waffles at Strouds. http://stroudsrestaurant.com/fairway/
    It was a good day.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    All the corruption of that Obama! Why couldn’t his admin be law abiding like every GOP admin since Eisenhower? I mean obviously not having parts of his admin get tossed into jail= corruption in wingnut world

    • Themostunclean

      Almost every administration of the las 40 years, not just GOP, has had at least one member of their administration be indicted. Not Obama though.

      Obama ran the cleanest administration of the last half a century, possibly much longer. I always provide a challenge to all the people who insist he got away with corruption because he was black- What corruption? And every time they get all flustered and can’t name one instance. Unless it’s some half baked conspiracy theory.

      Fact is he was MORE likely to have a target in his back because of his race. How many tea-nazis were just itching to get him out of there?

  • SadDemInTex

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLiWFUDJ95I&sns=em
    A moment of clarity during the shit storm

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Steve King finds culture and finds his muse in Richard Wagner.
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/this-is-happening

  • “Do you really love making the rest of us suffer because we do not give in to your every baby need?” he said “love making” as in the gerund form verb for the infinitive form, “to make love”. What a loser. I bet he’s so sexually hung up he didn’t even notice. Hell, I bet his tiny fingers are pounding out an outraged tweet just now.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Wow… that was exhausting.

  • SayItWithOtters

    Can you imagine life in this country if it was designed to all the wish-fulfillment specifications of Rep. King or, I don’t know, a bunch of white people in rural Missouri? The food would be ghastly.

    • CripesAmighty

      The menu’s being published…

  • Shibusa
  • mancityRed6

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/03/chris-wallace-why-should-we-believe-these
    “Chris Wallace: ‘Why Should We Believe These [job] Numbers’ Now When Trump Called Them Phony?”

    And Spicey apparently tried to address that:
    “I talked to the president prior to this and he said to quote them very clearly. ‘They may have been phony in the past but they’re very real now.”

    • OrG

      Alt-Facts.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      How?????????????????

      • mancityRed6

        here’s a child’s pail, I’ll take you to the ocean or one of the great lakes.
        you’ll have more success lowering the water level by 2″ than you will getting a real answer about it out of this administration.

    • phoenix00

      Shrodinger’s Stats, you know.

  • Manhattan123

    All the misspelling is really liberal commenters pretending to be right-winger commenters to make them look stupid, right?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      You don’t have to be stupid to be a right-winger, but it helps.

      • Themostunclean

        For the extremist, I do believe it’s a requirement.

    • Themostunclean

      “Not all idiots are extreme right wing christians but all extreme right wing christians are idiots”.

      Huh, that phrase actually works in this case.

  • Nounverb911

    Didn’t the Chinese invent spaghetti and modern warfare (gun powder)?
    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/840993651027263490

    • mancityRed6

      you don’t invent spaghetti, you harvest it
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Or herd it, right? Isn’t that what those spaghetti Westerns were about?

        • Scrofula

          Give spaghetti a horse and a gun, it’d take back the West.

    • SayItWithOtters

      It’s a waste of time to engage him in this argument. Better to pin him down and force him to explain why he is an exemplar specimen of the master race.

    • Shibusa

      “Our babies” when convenient for white nationalism. “Why should I have to pay for a woman’s baby?” when it’s time to take away insurance. (@LOLGOP)

      • CripesAmighty

        Forgot to read the sekrit word (duck drops): “brown”.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Pretty sure some Middle Eastern people invented writing.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So I had a wierd day. I was at work and checked my e-mails and there was one from my ex. He said how sorry he was about Thor (my dog), and that he cried all night and I must be heartbroken, etc. I was mystified. So I called him. Apparently a woman called him last night and told him that Thor was hit by a car and killed, and she felt he needed to know that.

    Thor was NOT hit by a car, btw. I think I would have noticed. It is utterly bizarre to me that somebody would do such a cruel thing.

    • Scrofula

      Wait, some woman called your ex to lie about how his old dog was killed?
      That’s . . . weird.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Really wierd. And Thor spends alternate weekends with him. So he’s not really ex’s old dog.

        • Scrofula

          It would be weird even if she wasn’t lying. Boy needs to stop dating crazy.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            One of my co-workers speculated that she was a neighbor of his, saw another dog get hit, and made some wild assumptions. But how did she get his number??? And why on earth would he think I wouldn’t call him if that did happen?

            It’s….unsettling.

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            RIghtfully so. Is this something you can discuss with him?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I talked him down a bit today, reassuring him that Thor and I are both fine. I’m honestly not sure how much I want to know about his life. We co-exist, and get along fine, but I’ve been there and done that. There are reasons we aren’t married anymore.

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            Understood. I guess what really strikes me as possibly concerning is if you think it was a coworker who called him, that sounds like a serious HR issue (as in harassment).

          • WomanInThePersistence

            No. It was my co-worker’s theory about a theoretical neighbor. In no way do I think she had anything to do with this. I am very lucky in the group of folks I work with. For one thing, we’re all dog people, and they saw nothing strange about my leaving early to go spoil my dog.

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            OK, I misread.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            No worries. I am still a bit perplexed that my ex would have somebody call him with this. I’m utterly at sea on this.

          • kareemachan

            The question is: Is he? He doesn’t have a clue about who would say this or why?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well over the phone I could tell he was still crying. My ex and Thor have always loved each other. My ex swore that he didn’t recognize the voice, and I am inclined to believe him. We have our issues, but he is not inclined towards wierd drama.

          • Scrofula

            Right. That kind of crazy only comes from a couple dates gone bad. A neighbor would talk to you as soon as they saw you, not call you up hours later. I mean, you would have noticed your dog’s carcass anyway.

    • OrG

      Glad about Thor,and Yes that is bizarre.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Truly strange. I actually left work early just to make sure he is OK. I knew he is, but still. That’s just a little bit creepy.

        • Shibusa

          It’s a bit Single White Female.

          • Miles Monroe

            More like Fatal Attraction CREEPY …

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That is really odd! Glad Thor hasn’t gone to Asgard yet.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Thor is currently being smothered with attention.

      • mailman27

        There’s a bolt of lightening in somebody’s future!

    • Red Bird Ω

      My guess is it was someone who was interested in him but chickened out and made up a story to cover their tracks.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Could be. But why such an awful, hurtful story?

        • Red Bird Ω

          I don’t know. We women can be strange. Maybe a frenemy?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            All people can be strange. And I got nothing.

          • Red Bird Ω

            That’s all I can come up with.

    • kareemachan

      wut??

      that is one sick woman.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Yes, she is.

    • phoenix00

      You just got gaslighted. Wow.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        You are sweet, but I don’t think I did. Lord/Lady knows that he has issues. But that’s not really how he rolls. Plus, he loves Thor as much as I do. Again, there are reasons were not married anymore, but this is just too far out of his wheelhouse. I was married to him for 14 years, and that would be truly uncharacteristic. But thank you. We all look out for each other.

        • phoenix00

          That’s good to hear. Luckily you’re both understanding and it sounds like an honest mistake rather than deliberate browbeating.

  • Nounverb911
    • SayItWithOtters

      You’re still not getting a reality show, sweetheart.

      • OrG

        Don’t count on it.

        • SayItWithOtters

          Eh. Maybe when she squeezes out 10 more.

    • mancityRed6

      It’s a vagina, not a clown car

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        a revolving door…

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Octomom Libelz!!1!1!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      The sooner the tyrannical socialist collective can take this woman’s children away from her, and then forcibly sterilize her (with votes) the better!

    • Scrofula

      Tell the boys not to touch the girls, it might hurt Daddy’s election chances.

      • OrG

        Not really.

      • mancityRed6

        you know you grew up in a white trash town when you mistakenly read “erection” and it still sounds like something someone has said before.

        • Scrofula

          All guys see “erection” in random text.

          • mancityRed6

            every 7 seconds, or so I’m told.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Yeah, about every *erection* seven *erection* sec-*erection*onds.

    • Shibusa

      That chick’s twitter feed is a treasure trove of LDS wingnuttery.
      https://twitter.com/apurposefulwife/status/840968858345267200

      • mancityRed6

        kind of, in a way.
        I mean, you don’t piss off the people who make and serve your food, do you?

        • Shibusa

          You mean illegal immigrants?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Help us, Okie White Youjokie, you’re our only hope!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        lol, that’s not how ANY of that works…

      • proudgrampa

        Since you mention LDS, in Utah we see this wingnuttery all the time. Here’s the truth:

        4 Utah Drug Abuse Statistics You Didn’t Know
        February 20, 2015 by Amy Rothermel
        Several types of prescription pills with glass of alcoholUtah probably isn’t the first place you think of when you think of drug abuse. That’s probably because most people aren’t aware of the rampant drug abuse problem in the predominantly Mormon state. In fact, the following statistics on drug abuse in Utah might just shock you.

        1. OUT OF ALL 50 US STATES, UTAH HAS THE EIGHTH-HIGHEST PRESCRIPTION OVERDOSE DEATH RATE.

        (Source: Utah’s Division of Substance Abuse and Mental Health)

        In a community where most inhabitants try to live a clean, healthy lifestyle, prescription medications often fall into a “gray” area, with many people believing they are safe and acceptable. Unfortunately, the addictiveness of many prescription pills, including opioid pain medications in particular, has led to Utah becoming one of the most addicted states in the nation.

        2. PILL-RELATED DEATHS IN UTAH HAVE INCREASED BY 400 PERCENT IN THE PAST DECADE.

        (Source: Utah’s Division of Substance Abuse and Mental Health)

        While most people will be surprised by this statistic, medical professionals and policymakers who have been following the trend of prescription drug abuse will not be. According to a report by the Trust for America’s Health (TFAH), prescription drug related deaths nationwide now outnumber deaths from cocaine and heroin combined.

        3. WITH 60 PERCENT OF UTAH RESIDENTS BEING MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS, MANY PEOPLE AFFECTED BY PILL ADDICTION IN UTAH ARE MORMON.

        (Source: CNN.com)

        Drug use is strictly forbidden in the LDS community, but many people don’t view medications prescribed by a doctor as being an illicit substance. Sadly, many drug addictions start innocently, with an injured or sick person simply seeking relief from their painful symptoms. In the worst cases, some pill addicts eventually turn to street drugs like heroin when they realize it is a cheaper way to get their fix.

        4. ONLY 1 IN 10 PEOPLE WITH A SUBSTANCE ABUSE DISORDER RECEIVES TREATMENT.

        This statistic applies to all Americans, including substance abuse sufferers in Utah. Most people who need help for their drug addiction do not receive it, in Utah and nationwide, m. This is a sad fact, considering many that many effective treatment options exist
        *************************

        The reason? It’s the cognitive dissonance experienced by EVERY SINGLE FUCKING MORMON, whether they admit it or not.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          No true Mormon….

      • SayItWithOtters

        Why is the dad dressed like a pirate?

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        Fuck this bitch. No… wait… she’ll get knocked up again!

    • Swampgas_Man

      I suspect snark. Poe’s Law and all that.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Wolfing down a white babby is even tougher than a spoonful of cinnamon!

      • AJ Milne

        Yeah, this. Much as I like children, I can never eat a whole one.

        (/Stolen shamelessly from a secretary at a place I once worked.)

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s all fun and games until your uterus falls out on the floor after a good sneeze.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Michelle Duggar Libelz!!11!1

    • theCryptofishist

      I think she’s eligible for an award from der Führer.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      She said match or beat her. Can I beat her? with votes? I really want to use a baseball bat, but votes will do.

    • natoslug

      So she’s saying she really likes to fuck?

    • Red Bird Ω

      There’s a YouTube for this too. Hey, remember a while back when Robyn mentioned that 4Chan was discussing a campaign to increase the number of white births?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Say, you know who else thought more white babies would save his culture?

  • Shibusa
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      All good, except, instead of “look for bugs” should be “help that nice man with the slight Russian accent (why? is from Indiana, he says! but he flatters me so okay) replace the wiring in the lamps, not sure why.”

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    OMG guys! New issue at your favorite supermarket checkout stands now!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c255dbf50bd810ffd62061aae627e5ebf5596a4439e2b5a2484894e2fcfa79f1.jpg

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Eeeewwwwww…. you just know there’s an article about Ivanka in there.

  • Jack Tenhet
  • Bill D. Burger
    • mancityRed6

      you know, I’m going to save that.
      keeps me from having to buy any ipecac

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Oh fuck…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh, clutch the pearls, how can this be? There should be overwhelming numbers of good, godly Trumpanzees shopping there, no? We’re a Christian nation with so many Christians we have Christians everywhere. It’s a time of holy Trumpism, of 2 Corninthians and all the Tealbangelicals love our leader. Surely this cannot be.

    [All 240 Family Christian Stores Are Closing
    More than 3,000 employees in 36 states will be laid off in the liquidation of one of the world’s largest Christian retailers.
    Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra [ POSTED 3/12/2017 02:13PM ]

    “We had two very difficult years post-bankruptcy,” stated president Chuck Bengochea. “Despite improvements in product assortment and the store experience, sales continued to decline. In addition, we were not able to get the pricing and terms we needed from our vendors to successfully compete in the market.
    “We have prayerfully looked at all possible options, trusting God’s plan for our organization,” he stated, “and the difficult decision to liquidate is our only recourse.”
    Tyndale House Publishers chairman and CEO Mark Taylor called the stores “an important outlet for Christian books, gifts, and Bibles for many decades.”
    “All of us at Tyndale House Publishers feel a sense of grief over Family Christian’s decision to close the entire chain of stores,” he stated. “Family’s millions of customers now have even fewer options for finding these wonderful, life-giving products. The entire Christian community—indeed the entire nation—will be poorer as a result of this pending closure.]
    http://www.clipartkid.com/images/686/the-floor-laughing-smiley-face-clipart-panda-free-clipart-images-DkjC8y-clipart.gif

    Sorry…Obviously God hates you. Get the fuck out…hit the road…

    • Celtic_Gnome

      A section of High Street in Columbus, Ohio is known as the Garden District, for the Garden Theater, a burlesque theater turned adult theater turned closed theater. The building the Garden was in, that takes up nearly a block, was bought by a local evangelical church. They evicted all the business tenants on the first floor. The upper floors had apartments that weren’t being used. They planned to use the theater for their worship services and install a daycare and other community services in the locations emptied by the business evictions while renting the apartments to good, God-fearing people. With the help of God, they were going to take back the neighborhood.

      They eventually sold the building and booked. Across the street, the head shop, adult store, BDSM store, record store, and clothing store all flourished.

      The people who bought the Garden restored the theater and opened it as the Short North Cabaret doing live theatrical performances. The neighborhood continues to flourish.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Tyndale House Publishers is a big part of the problem. I live in the Bible Belt and almost every grocery store and pharmacy has a little turnstile display of their products. You don’t need to go to a “big box” retailer for their Christianist books.
      Every megachurch has a bookstore that sells the materials that the preacher is hawking. Audio and videotapes of sermons do a big bidness. Same with every teevee preacher, selling over the internet and with an 800-number.
      Family Christian stores is a business model that is obsolete.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Ohhhh that’s why they’ve cropped up in our local CVS’s here in Los Angeles. Every time I see them, I complain mightily to the manager. “Religion has no place in a pharmacy. This is not appropriate. And if you MUST have religious books, there are more religions than Christianity here in this country. You need to have Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist booklets, at least. In fact this should NOT be here.” I know they’re thinking, “Yap, yap, yap, these Jewesses do go on and on,” but I think everyone needs to point out encroaching, inappropriate Dominionism whenever we see it. I also cover them with other books. I can’t stand it.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I wouldn’t think they’d sell so many in LA. Maybe Simi Valley? Maybe Orange County? Maybe Bakersfield?

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Right? I’ve only seen them in Burbank.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      Since I know I’m goin’ to hell, I’m makin’ preparations!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I generally prefer to buy my Christians at Wal-Martin. So much cheaper!

      • Tiny kaiju

        Can you get them in bulk at Sam’s Club?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I suspect they would be very bulky indeed. And I am not slender.

        • Ill-Advised

          They’re a dime a dozen, and cheaper on Sunday, when bulk rates apply.

    • Roni Resistance Raven

      I feel poorer already.

      Wait. No I don’t.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Even God is telling them, “Oh my GOD, didn’t you hear George Carlin? You guys are SUCH FUCKING GRIFTERS! GTFO!”

    • Mike Steele

      NB: 3000 ordinary citizens will lose their jobs BUT Mr. Bengochea will fare nicely, as he is still CEOof HoneyBaked Ham and CotB of Herschend Family Entertainment, comprised of Dollywood, Camden (NJ) Aquarium, etc. so 1% prevails, as is god’z will, amirite?

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Beautiful. I’m so glad they’re shutting down due to not being able so sell their shit because people ain’t buying their shit because fewer people think their shit is necessary or even desirable. Fuck ’em (prayerfully.)

  • motmelere

    I’ll forgo the snark today in order to speak to the ban hammered of tomorrow. The cubicle workers and assembly line folk that were sneered at in today’s deleted comments are me and my family. I’ve spent the last several weeks taking jobs from fellow workers at a sister plant because they weren’t making money for their boss. The shitty part of it all is that several of the people do work well, but got dragged down by lazy dung who feel they have a right to their job because… white guy. I’ll take these jobs to Wisconsin with a warning: MAKE MONEY. That protectionist asshole that doesn’t do shit unless he has to is your biggest threat, he is also a teabagging Trump supporter (no probably, or likely), that is the useless fucker who blames a poorer person than he for getting fucked by the shits that have their hands firmly grasped about their waist.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    How dare youse call me an Obamaite. I prefer the far more elegant Obamarian.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Bam Bam Buckaroo or GTFO.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Wonkette coined such a great phrase eons ago–what was it? Something like Barry Bamz Hussein el-Obama?

        • Ill-Advised

          “Barry B. Bamz Obama,” although “Barack Hussein Obama” is also popular.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      We are ObamaNation!

      • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

        I Cried!

    • Querolous

      I am proud to be an Obamastani.

  • Bongstar420

    These guys are projection..its the righties that constantly get betrayed by the rich people they support.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4003409e52ad987cc48581c520567012ebbb84d4ce34302db8775b9cda6b69d.jpg

  • Miles Monroe

    “1 per center” Priceless, an instant classic!

    Don’t you just love it when they subconciously channel Homer Simpson?

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      I have 3 per center minimum, thank you very much.

    • Bongstar420

      I love how the “1%ers” fall within the 10%-20% range for IQ as a group.

      IE. Most rich people have IQ’s in the range of 110-120 which is hardly 1% of the population.

      Its almost like people use money and social connections to dominate those who are intellectually superior to them https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6388f9e45347a61b7653234746fa483d9ea311136466b0a52498d9b9f96abab9.gif

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        It’s almost like smart people choose to do something more useful than obsess over collecting money and power

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Right? The money-grubbers actually have a textbook case of addiction, their drug is money. Every single thing they do to get it, is pure addict behavior–lying, stealing, misrepresenting, causing untold pain to those around them, having no sense of other people, doing literally anything they can to get more, more, more. We need to understand these brutal assholes for what they are.

          • theCryptofishist

            And the horrible thing is they are putting us through various levels of hell (depending on luck and privilege) and aren’t even getting any happier themselves. It’s all so fucking useless and painful.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Exactly like addicts. They are putting THEMSELVES through hell, too, it doesn’t make them happier, but they can’t stop. Maybe if we understood it as a corrosive addiction problem, we might be better at confronting it as a country. Too many people still admire the rich–but have no idea of the KINDS of riches these people are dealing with. Living in a small town in a rural state, they simply have no concept, either of the obscene level of wealth, what the ultra-rich live like, or how venal and brutal these people really are.

          • theCryptofishist

            Needs moar upfists.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Yup, addiction 101

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    Psst–>Sisters are powerful, pass it on…..Psst–>Brothers are powerful, pass it on….Psst Sisters and Brothers are more powerful, pass it on….

    • natoslug

      Oh, sure, ignore us poor only children, nobody for us to blame when something gets broken or goes missing . . .

      • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

        Don’t you wish you had a sibling now?!!!?

        • natoslug

          Not yet. My parents are still able to take care of themselves.

  • phoenix00

    Wow what did cubicles ever do to WhitewaterMkII?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      A cøøbicle once bit my sister

      • Rasilom

        Coobicle bites can be nasty…

      • theCryptofishist

        Did she get cøøbies?

      • phoenix00

        Did it suck out her soul?

    • Mike Steele

      Perhaps someone from a cubicle spurned him, as he seems to be reveling in his retirement riches all by his lonesome. PATHETIC!

      • phoenix00

        I dunno, I’m thinking one collapsed on him or something like that and it traumatized him for life.

        Or maybe more than one? Maybe they have it out for him? Hard to say.

        Or have I put too many brain cells to this?

  • Nounverb911
    • Jason

      Cook book?

      • kareemachan

        You haven’t heard of the short story or TV episode about this?

        Sad.

        • Jason

          Not sure I follow?

      • proudgrampa
        • Jason

          Twilight zone or the Simpsons is what I guessed, didn’t know which. Thank you

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      What a sad person. There must have been that one on the HS football team he couldn’t have.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      i think I’m close to a sargasm over this.

    • Sardonicuss

      Congrats Zegs (Zombie eyed granny starver).
      I never thought there could be another face that could enrage me as mush as Ted Cruz, Gholiani or Gomert Pile.
      You have joined a rare pantheon.

    • mancityRed6

      ok, so can I get everyone on the same page here?
      come the revolution, can he be first against the wall of votes?

      • theCryptofishist

        It’s gonna be a derp bench.

  • Juan de Fuca

    I did a Google search and believe that cassisanass (did anybody else read that while hearing, “crooked letter, crooked letter, I”?) was referring to an ancient Arab proverb in one of his comments:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5da3b4e687962181ed1b19737929d3a96c672ae40f4ba9dde0bc79373de7b686.jpg

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You are an optimistic soul.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Was going more for sarcasim but have been an optimist my whole life. Life’s too short to be cynical about the whole thing.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          That’s very true.

        • theCryptofishist

          Now you tell me.

  • Christopher Reeve’s Antibodies

    Damn, I was genuinely hoping for a mention this week. The irony is that I actually like the site, read it daily, and wasn’t trolling.

    I DO troll on that topic, but it’s usually noticeable – i.e. I’m trolling when I say things like “I really hope Trump gets elected, because the world desperately needs a drastically weakened USA right now, and Hillary will be frighteningly competent and has a history of being pro-US-throwing-its-weight-around”.

    Not that I don’t actually believe those things (well, I wouldn’t have voted for Trump, but I do believe the world desperately needs a greatly weakened US, or at least one that realises that nobody voted it to be the world’s police, and that you’re invading Syria without any UN mandate). But it’s obviously not a productive way of starting a conversation.

    It is, however, a reasonable response to the way in which americans seem to forget that the internet is not some internal communication device, and that when you’re talking about whether X or Y government is evil and whether it’s a good thing to continue sanctions against it, WE CAN HEAR YOU!:-) It’s like if Godzilla fell over and hurt his knee, but in doing so, landed on and wiped out an entire civilisation and rendered several thousand species extinct – and then gets up and thinks that the most important aspect of that event was that he hurt his knee.

    And yeah, I think we have pretty good reason to be bitter at our fellow ‘progressives’ in the US when they totally abandoned us the moment they got a decent domestic-policy president with a half-way okayish healthcare system. The rampage you’ve been on since Bush Jnr’s election didn’t stop, or even slow down – but it’s like suddenly none of you cared anymore. And when you start dialling up aggression with Russia, it’s hard NOT to think that you see the international peace movement, and the rest of the world in general, as just another ‘talking point’ for your domestic politics.

    Just remember when you’re complaining about the awful right-wing crap coming out of 14 yr old troll ‘fake news’ blogs from Eastern Europe….the Republicans and Trump might suck badly for you guys, but for the rest of us it’s like nothing changes, except at least under a right-wing president we can count on there being an internal US anti-war movement.

    • kareemachan

      Ah. So you’re okay with a Russia-led America.

      Good to know.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      OK then.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        I think Godzilla (played by Max Von Sydow) represents the recidivism rate of juveniles and the civilization represents after-school whitewater rafting. Godzillas knee represents freedom.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          That is a wee bit surreal for me right now. This has already been a very odd day, and I don’t think I’m quite up for this. I’m gonna go take my very wonderful dog for a walk.

        • mancityRed6

          ok, ok. good.
          now let’s see if we can get John Waters to direct.

          • theCryptofishist

            Then it has to be set in Baltimore, and there should be a role for Patty Hearst.

          • mancityRed6

            this can be done.

    • Suse

      ¿Qué?

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      What is this “international peace movement” of which you speak?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      What an interesting wordshart.

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Moral Re-Armament, for a wild guess?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Obama-hating progressives undermined the “international peace movement” by “dialling up aggression with Russia” (which is possibly the only thing I wouldn’t blame on Obama-hating progressives).

        • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

          Or he’s blaming the non-Obama-hating progressives?

        • theCryptofishist

          What, their Obama phones had dials? They got taken, those were Carter phones.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        This one’s history shows them to be a bit….wordy.

      • mancityRed6

        you’re interpretation of “interesting” and mine are not on the same plane whatsoever.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        IKR? TL;DR too. Did you actually read it? I couldn’t get past the smell.
        https://www.filepicker.io/api/file/jwDnsj4sQ7GPocjD5zKA

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I checked it’s history. This is apparently SOP. And also too tedious.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        you mean you didn’t write that with one of your pet programs?

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      In other words, you actually mean it when you say “I really hope Trump gets elected, because the world desperately needs a drastically weakened USA right now, and Hillary will be frighteningly competent and has a history of being pro-US-throwing-its-weight-around”, although aggression will skyrocket around the world under Trump, but at least you and your friends will have an “anti-war movement”. Is this what you mean?

      • Scrofula

        I don’t understand his sarcasism, if any.
        Almost sounds like the Christian hope for nuclear war around Israel, total collapse and chaos, you know, so Jesus will come back?
        Let Trump destroy everything, so we’ll finally end war, and everything will be like Star Trek?

        • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

          Some kind of purity progressive with some added cray, including thinking discussing sanctions against a country on the internet is a crime against humanity. Or maybe just a Russian troll.

          • Scrofula

            Copypasta even, maybe. Not like it’s responded to anybody. Think I’ll let the mystery be (now that song’s in my head).

    • Scrofula

      If you think nothing changes with the election of a right-wing populist, then this site isn’t going to help you.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Fuck off troll.

    • Tiny kaiju

      Sure, it’s ok that healthcare will be gutted and inaccessible for most people, that the judiciary will be bought and paid for, that The Constitution is being turned into toilet paper for idiots who think the Kardiashians are interesting. Yeah it’s all good as long as America isn’t the world’s police officer any more.
      Oops almost forgot to turn on my single issue beacon; stock up on wire coat hangers, Lysol and Coke for all your family planning needs.