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Good morning, Wonketariat! We spent all weekend bugging phones in Florida with Obama and Hillary Clinton’s Benghazi emails; now we’re so informed that you won’t even believe how informed we are (believe me)! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

  • Nounverb911
    • Michael R

      ” Your mouth says no but your coffee says OUCH SCALDING !!! “

    • Msgr_MΩment

      So effing HAWT!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Ivanka and her Dad share a special moment.

  • Nounverb911
    • PubOption

      I suppose that Bannon is the drunk in the midnight choir.

    • Michael R

      ” SPLAT “

  • arglebargle

    I haven’t logged on since Friday around 2:00 pm. Did I miss anything?

    • Nounverb911

      Trump denied he played golf twice.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I found a dime in the street walking my dog.

      • arglebargle

        I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Should’ve gone to Alabama. The Tuskaloosa.

        • From Russia with Love

          Do us all a favor and change your av back! Please!

          • arglebargle

            Bwahahaha

          • From Russia with Love

            At least use one of many more flattering images available…

            https://i.ytimg.com/vi/m2T1Fw7b-W8/hqdefault.jpg

          • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

            The vision of Little Babby Donnie’s penis port open for bidness is certainly keeping me straight.

        • Marion in Savannah

          What was it doing wearing your pajamas?

          • Erala Contratista

            Yeah! What you said!

      • cmd resistor

        I found one in the grocery store parking lot n Saturday.

        • Whale Chowder

          An elephant?

          • cmd resistor

            A dime.

    • Nounverb911

      Trump hosted another Bar Mitzvah at MAL Saturday.
      https://twitter.com/Fahrenthold/status/838582200698290176

    • Randy Riddle

      I forgot about Trump for two hours watching “Get Out”.

      • GoutMachine

        Ooh, how is it? It’s on our list of stuff to see. Looks good!

        • I gave hearty two thumbs up!

        • Randy Riddle

          Fantastic – really well made and well written. Peele hides lots of little interesting satiric details in the movie.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Twitter tantrums, lies, the usual. It’s all Obamas fault and, also, too.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Shhh! Russian-only, or else! Comrade Trump’s orders.

      Я люблю нашего президента

  • GoutMachine

    You know, it always baffled me how we could give the presidency to a person who otherwise would never be able to pass a routine background check.

    • BadKitty904

      I blame Putin/the GOP.

    • From Russia with Love

      It’s a fucking mystery to me. Trump fails most/all of those below:

      “For what reasons would I be denied a security clearance?”

      “The adjudicative guidelines include: allegiance to the United States; foreign influence; foreign preference; sexual behavior; personal conduct; financial considerations; alcohol consumption; drug involvement; emotional, mental, and personality disorders; criminal conduct; security violations; outside activities; and misuse of information technology systems.”

      https://www.state.gov/m/ds/clearances/c10977.htm#13

      • GoutMachine

        So, AOT,K!

  • Rick Hill

    It’s going to be another tough week, so I just want to say this to my Wonkfamily away from home?
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/az89NPN_460s.jpg

    • GoutMachine

      Whew! Good thing there’s love along with the payments.

    • arglebargle

      Three stars? Weak. I give my daughter at least eleventy.

      DJT

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Three stars and three smiley faces. I dare say no one has given an Trump property a similarly favorable review.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      That was the first time Tiffany Trump’s attempts to ingratiate herself with Donald backfired.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Whore diamonds are the new Family Jewels.

    • <3

    • Persistent Demme

      Love that smile!

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Yes, Mr. Barron?”

    • cmd resistor

      So did I read somewhere that it’s been a week since an on camera briefing?

  • Michael R
  • Latverian Diplomat

    Somebody in New York listed their apartment in Trump Tower on Airbnb which is hilarious when you get past the national security risk.

    “Score a bullseye on Manhattan vacation accommodations. Killer location on Fifth Avenue. This place is the bomb.”

    • From Russia with Love

      Smokin!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Too soon.
      So I’ve been told.

  • BadKitty904

    The Republican Congress is the REAL danger here, kids. Sniffles the Clown is just to keep the media and We the People distracted…

    Leashes Come Off Wall Street, Gun Sellers, Polluters and More
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/05/us/politics/trump-deregulation-guns-wall-st-climate.html?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange&_r=0
    WASHINGTON — Giants in telecommunications, like Verizon and AT&T, will not have to take “reasonable measures” to ensure that their customers’ Social Security numbers, web browsing history and other personal information are not stolen or accidentally released.

    Wall Street banks like Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase will not be punished, at least for now, for not collecting extra money from customers to cover potential losses from certain kinds of high-risk trades that helped unleash the 2008 financial crisis.

    And Social Security Administration data will no longer be used to try to block individuals with disabling mental health issues from buying handguns, nor will hunters be banned from using lead-based bullets, which can accidentally poison wildlife, on 150 million acres of federal lands.

    These are just a few of the more than 90 regulations that federal agencies and the Republican-controlled Congress have delayed, suspended or reversed in the month and a half since President Trump took office, according to a tally by The New York Times.

  • PubOption

    New Repub strategy: resegregate schools, then offer the kids at the failing schools vouchers to attend schools they could have attended under the old policy.

    • GoutMachine

      Step 3: Profit!

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      School choice appeals to the same people who pay extra for airline early boarding. Privilege has benefits.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Thanks, one part of DU I miss

      • MynameisBlarney

        You’re welcome.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Obama NEVER Tapped That Ass!

    Bra! Vo!
    Bra fucking Vo!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    In Kentucky schools, a passing grade is now a skin color.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So Trump can’t even afford a $3 tie clip. I always knew he was broke.

    Sad!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Broke in the brain also too.

  • Lizzietish81

    Would Obama need to? I mean it’s not like Trump is able to keep a secret.

    • AJ Milne

      Wiretapping Trump = showing up to dinner in his sadly tacky restaurant and clicking ‘record’ on your phone’s dictation app.

      (Hey. No one ever said intel work would be easy.)

  • Nounverb911

    Mike Huckleberry’s daughter has completed her course in Palinese…
    https://twitter.com/GMA/status/838723126141792257

    • There is video out there of her stupid dad, while governor, congratulating Canada on preserving its National Igloo, and this is stupider

    • Bill D. Burger

      SooWee Sarah and Smellyanne were shuffling about this morning with the WH line: “Our president has information we don’t. We need to wait and see what the investigations uncover about the Obama Administration’s wire taps.”

      Goddamn I hate these loathsome, deflecting, delaying lying POS.

      • GoutMachine

        Oh, do, let’s! Because there are two options here: 1) There was no wiretap, and Drumpf is full of shit, as per usual; 2) There was a wiretap, because there was probable cause for something illegal happening

        • Bill D. Burger

          Of course these will be the same sort of “investigations” to rival those working to find the 3-5 million illegal voters, all of whom voted for Hillz’! Wonder how those “investigations” are going?

          It’s classic “Look….Squirrel!” __ “We can’t comment while the investigations are on going.” —– deflect, wait and move on.
          Not sure it will work at all this time. (Though I have said that before. ~sigh!~)

        • Yellow_Dog_Dem

          I seriously hope it is door number 2.

      • cmd resistor

        “Information we don’t” because it comes from little voices only he hears.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        But, if Congress investigates these allegations, isn’t here a chance they could uncover collusion between Trump and the Russians, which would go in the official records of the investigation?

    • Chadwells

      The shit splat doesn’t fall far from the tree.

  • BadKitty904

    About that Republicans’ “private prison” scam, Dominic…

    Thousands of ICE Detainees Claim They Were Forced into Labor, a Violation of Anti-slavery Laws
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/03/05/thousands-of-ice-detainees-claim-they-were-forced-into-labor-a-violation-of-anti-slavery-laws/?utm_term=.01effa919062

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      As, consequently, did spies from assorted foreign powers…

      • msanthropesmr

        Mooose and squirrelll

        • BadKitty904

          For starters.

    • Lobbysts gonna be PISSED! No more jerbs for them

      • Rick Hill

        His base lerves it because they think trump is making great deals for the country. And he is. Thing is, trump now looks at hisself as though he is the country…

        • PubOption

          Who else lived in gaudy palace and thought that he was the personification of his country?

          • Antonin Dvorak

            Ceausescu?

          • Erala Contratista

            That ended well, didn’t it……

          • Querolous

            Yanukovych?

    • Rick Hill

      Back door gubment just got new digs.

    • Apparently trump went on and on about being “wire tapped” by Obama to whoever would listen.

      • Sandy Beaches

        But, if you go to Fox News (yes, I took one for the team), they are reporting the story as if it is a fact that Obama actually did wire tap Trump Tower. They aren’t questioning it. When it’s reported from that perspective, it’s no wonder the wing nuts who watch believe what they do.

        • cmd resistor

          Thanks for taking one.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I didn’t pay $200,000 to get stuck with only the Commerce Secretary as a golf partner, for fucks sake.”
      — An anonymous Mar-a-lagoan

    • Martini Ambassador

      Well, sure, but did you know Hillary gave some speeches to bankers?

      • Rick Hill

        tsk, tsk. Always pay for play with those Clintons…..

  • msanthropesmr
    • I could have sworn it would be Essex

      • Ghenghis McCann

        If it was Glasgow they would have taken the banana from him and deep fried it.

        • “If Suzie has two oranges and Billy has three apples, how far south of Scotland are they?”

          • The Wanderer

            I’ll say Torremolinos.

    • Edith Prickly

      Blackpool.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Great. Now I’m hungry for fish and chips.

  • memzilla Ω

    Trump WAS building another gaudy hotel… potentially breaking the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act of 1977.

    It’s almost as if Dolt 45 is reading the details of every anti-corruption statute and going “That looks like a good idea! Let’s do THAT!”

    • From Russia with Love

      “It probably wouldn’t be illegal if it wasn’t lucrative.”

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      How’s by you today, Blarney?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Stressed. Hungover. Hangry.

        How ’bout you?

        • Kiri the Paid Protestor

          I’m good, enough to be more worried about your troubles than my own.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Bah!
            I’m fine.
            The caffeine and aspirin are starting to kick in.

  • Martini Ambassador
    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I know the Bond franchise has made some questionable aesthetic choices over the years, but a vegetable could do better than this.”
      — Ghost of Albert R. Brocoli

      • GoutMachine

        So, cauliflower?

  • shastakoala

    Air pee n pee

  • Crystalclear12

    It’s amazing how the GOP can still pretend that this is the President they wanted and not a heaping helping of bat shit crazy.

    They should share their meds because my denial is worn out!

    • Not covered!

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Well, he wasn’t a girl or a sorta jewish socialist from VT

    • Martini Ambassador

      I suggest not reading the comments on today’s news board. The contortions that some of his defenders twist themselves into to justify the nuttiness is insane.

      • Crystalclear12

        On the plus side they get to skip yoga class.

    • “Denial is a river in Russia”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Today we are all shit-pie.

    • From Russia with Love

      Except Donny. He’s a tort waiting to happen.

      • Amy!

        “Tort” is the Russian word for “cake”.

        Those are the kind we liek.

    • Rick Hill

      That’s on the menu after trump get’s rid of the FDA and some more of those pesky regulations

  • Nounverb911

    Donald Trump is the new FLORIDA MAN.
    https://twitter.com/pbpost/status/838753178506133504

    • Crystalclear12

      That explains a LOT.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bbbbbutttt…..Trump said Bamz’ went “…golfing too much. Worse than Carter. SAD.”

      Oh that’s just our Donny!

      http://www.ranum.com/linkedimages/hypocrisy-meter.gif

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Donald Trump’s Florida presidency” Now that’s a good idea. He seems to spend so much time there they can keep him, and let the other forty-nine states have someone else.

    • cmd resistor

      Well the problem is that there is just not enough gold plated crap in the White House.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      Gold is so tacky.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Germany is begrudgingly building up its military and positioning its forces in Baltic states since Trump doesn’t seem to know his history, or what NATO actually does.

    Just tell Trump that it’s East Prussian. He’ll think you said Pee-Russian, and he’s chill with that.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Private Prisons need to go the way of the dinosaurs.

    • Sandy Beaches

      Amnesty International and the UN should be all over our ass.

  • memzilla Ω

    Dolt 45 last week said Keystone XL Pipeline must use US steel “or we’re not building one.” Then grants exemption. To a company that’s already purchased the steel. 40% of which is manufactured by a Russian company, Evraz. In which Putin/Kushner/Drumpf pal Abramovich has a 31% stake. Used by a company in which Drumpf had a stake and sold at a profit. After he was elected. For tar sands oil owned by the Koch Bruddahs. CAN THIS SHIT BE ANY MORE CLEAR???

    • msanthropesmr

      Emails. Obscure emails.

      • Made in the USA? Made in RUSSIA?

        Eh, same difference?

        • laughingnome

          Trump is taking the song Back in the USSR a little too literally.

          • PubOption

            “Flew in from my private beach on air force one.”

          • Raqueltlowe

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dl276c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !dl276c:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs566DigitalReviewsGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dl276c:….,….

      • Amy!

        Buttery males!

    • Sandy Beaches

      Fake news!

      *runs away*

    • Persistent Demme

      Vagina-haver!
      E-mails!
      Benghaziiiiii!

  • Vincent Ricola

    Bill Maher is grasping desperately for relevancy in a time when his smug “faux edginess by a well-to-do white dude that smokes weed” shtick is played out. He’s trying way too hard and it’s not a good look.

    I suggest he devote more time to his panels and less time to his bad idea, finger-waving lectures.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I think he contracted something really vile from fucking Ann Coulter.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      He was tedious in 2001 when he was canned.

  • Belasaurius

    OK quiz time, taking photos of nude women without their permission and then posting them is_________________.
    A. Wrong, always, like seriously wrong [edit: and illegal]
    B. There is no other answer, it’s wrong [edit: and illegal] and I’m a creep for looking for another answer to choose from.

    • Chadwells

      Illegal!

      • Belasaurius

        edit made, thank you

    • Latverian Diplomat

      C. Semper Fi!

  • Amy!

    Okay, Dominic, admit it. You were waiting all weekend to use that headline, weren’t you?

  • goonemeritus

    Non of this stories about the Trump administration are a problem anymore because his crack legal team penned a letter this weekend that asserts corruption laws do not apply to any

    • Amy!

      Hey! You left out a word: “-smoking”.

  • Medvedev cleared by Russian Govt of laundering over 1B in bribes:

    Alexie Navalny, who, with any luck, will live through this to run against Putin in the next “election” says, “I try to do things in a way they should be done in a normal world,” Navalny told the station. “In Russia we see an absurd situation in which we publish on the Internet that someone received 70 billion [rubles] in bribes, and everybody’s reaction is like, ‘yeah, nothing interesting here.’ ”

    A peak into the how trumpworld would work if he had his way.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/russia-dismissessweeping-corruption-allegations-against-medvedev/2017/03/05/dac18d32-01af-11e7-a391-651727e77fc0_story.html?hpid=hp_hp-cards_hp-card-world%3Ahomepage%2Fcard&utm_term=.9f5cf49d8f4f

  • goonemeritus

    Trumps council penned a letter over the weekend that asserts that ethics rules don’t apply to any member of the executive branch. I’m sure Trump and his entire staff are relieved that those burdensome regulations won’t be an obstacle in their pursuit of American greatness.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Well…golly gee wiz…
    That’s SUCH a nice way to say “Ethnic Cleansing.”

    https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/838626847588040704

    • Amelia

      The level of bone-deep, probably-not-homicidal rage these people inspire in me cannot be healthy

      • vivian

        Please do not internalize their anger… They feed on anger, it’s all they’ve got. Keep your eyes wide open, laugh at their childish antics and fight them at every turn, but do not let them make you angry. We are better than that.

      • Persistent Demme

        Went to a fair in San Francisco yesterday, where many of the protest groups were in one place to organize with volunteers.
        It did my heart good to see so many people there turning their anger into action.
        My way of dealing with this is to move forward IN SPITE of the haters, and not to work on changing their minds. Others want to listen to their concerns, and good for them, but I’m done.
        Find a particular area you want to focus on. All the like-minded people you find will be inspiring.
        This is the new normal.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, did this wire tapp thing get going because Jared isn’t allowed to slap the phone out of Trump’s hands on shabbat?

    • mfp

      as usual, yes…a pretty well-established pattern at this point

    • tomamitai

      Can’t he find someone in the WH to be the shabbos goy?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Seriously, I mean Pence is right there!

  • Nounverb911
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    travel restrictions against religious and ethnic minorities from Muslim majority countries

    OK, so it’s actually “travel restrictions against religious and ethnic majorities from Muslim majority countries”

    • Nounverb911

      So Saudi Arabia then too, also?

      • No! They’re our FRIENDS.

        • They send so many people to train as airline pilots …

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          And for “friends,” read “customers.”

  • Lefty Frizzell

    So the bar last week was so fucking low that if Trump could read a few generalities off a teleprompter without crapping himself or insulting an ally he had finally turned the corner man, he was so fucking presidential, it’s all gravy, jobs and winning from now ’till the end of time!!!

    …and he’s utterly, utterly fucked it up 3 1/2 days later.

    For one thing, the markets should go down, since we’ve heard from the beginning of time that the one thing they don’t like is uncertainty. They like tax cuts and deregulation well enough, but it must be getting to the stage where they wonder if they will get them.

    Also, I wonder how Trump’s enablers can position the bar this time so he can clear it. It feels like a completely passive, some might say non-existent, bar, is the best they can hope for:

    24 hours without a deranged petulant tweet, a speech with a demonstrably false assertion, or a major policy gaffe with global implications.

    Can he do it?

    • Belasaurius

      pivot, pivot back…repeat ad nauseum

      • Flashman

        The word “pivot” implies agility, ability to focus and multi-task. No doubt, there’s a verb that describes the spraying process of a 3-year-old with an Uzi.

    • calliecallie

      Nope.

    • cmd resistor

      Someone refresh my memory. Did we ever have to discuss whether a president was “acting presidential” or not? I don’t even remember it coming up as to candidates, even the flakier ones.

    • tomamitai

      For one thing, the markets should go down, since we’ve heard from the beginning of time that the one thing they don’t like is uncertainty. They like tax cuts and deregulation well enough, but it must be getting to the stage where they wonder if they will get them.

      Here’s what my broker has to say:
      https://youtu.be/1JITC1fo2HA

  • Relativicus

    For the life of me I cannot understand how they don’t understand that an investigation into alleged wiretapping will necessarily implicate the Russia investigation(s).

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Yeah… Like, dude, you’re bringing attention to the VERY SAME THING YOUR DENYING!!!!!!!!

      • Oblios_Cap

        And basically admitting that you commited a crime.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Shhhhh… if they want to do that, let’s not warn them not to.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Well, no one aver accused them of being very smart.

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        I gotta laugh… Dampnut likes to brag about how smart he thinks he is (paging Dr. Kruger, Dr. Dunning…), but he’s never figured out that sometimes it’s best to just keep his damn mouth shut. Heh- remember him saying he prolly wasn’t gonna use Twitter very much, once in office?

    • Jgb979

      I’m sure all three people in the White House with any common sense are on suicide watch right now,

      But president baby fists saw a thing on Breitbart and IMMEDIATELY had to Twatter. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if he genuinely didn’t know there was a FISA warrant because his team is terrified of toddler tantrums

  • Belasaurius

    anyone else ever notice a whiff of brimstone when Roger Stone is around?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Whiff? It reeks through the interwebz.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Why doesn’t the new travel ban address the threat of people coming in via Alladin Air magic carpets.

    • eyelashviper

      I know, my pasture is just full of those carpets, and nobody wants them on ebay..
      Though I did make out selling lemonade and and tacos to the new arrivals…

  • goonemeritus

    Gay frogs and now premature hippos, can we talk about CHEMTRAILS NOW !!!!1111!!!!!!

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • Suttree

    Hungry hungry hippo!

  • Rick Hill

    Just found new quotes by Ghandi. Republicans claim it proves he would have supported them if he were alive.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a8y3PGY_460s.jpg

  • MynameisBlarney
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I stole this from the New Yorker article on Trump Tower Baku …

    “Wrage pointed out that corrupt government leaders often use their children or their siblings to distance themselves from illicit projects. Such an official creates a company in the relative’s name which appears to be independent but is controlled by the official.”

    You know who else is doing this? Have we slipped to Third-World corruption status?

    • PubOption

      Is Wrage against the machine?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        She runs a firm that helps US companies avoid running afoul of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

        • You’d think Trump woulda hired them but…then he would have to pay em

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Pay em? Why?

    • Suttree

      Nepotism is a hell of a drug.

      • Shanzgood

        I see the moose failed.

        • Suttree

          Yup. But I made it to the DMV to get a new I.D. They can’t deport me now!

    • mfp

      yes

    • Rick Hill

      Both sides do it! Remember when Malia was running that lemonade stand and it was actually a slush fund for….aww, fck it. I can’t keep up anymore….

    • OrdinaryJoe

      USA is now a Banana Republic.

      • bupkus23

        A Banana Republic or a Former Soviet Socialist Republic??? ( Look at all the wonderful “democracies” amongst the ‘Stans and, say, Belarus – not to mention some of the former Warsaw Pact )

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Great. Now we will need to see, in addition to the Russian Puppet’s taxes, the tax returns of all of his children and former wives.

    • BackDoorMan
  • UnsaltedSinner
    • AJ Milne

      Love Putin’s expression.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      “Bitten by a radioactive toddler”!

      Child-proofing Trump Tower….it was USELESS!

    • Maclare

      This is the best thing ever.

  • Nounverb911
    • Persistent Demme

      Did I see “very, very respected conspiracy theorists?”
      *giggle-snort!*

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I don’t know how much more I can take.

  • Amelia

    The bad news: even after this weekend, we still have to wait for enough Republicans to realize how badly they’ve shit the bed AND that they now have to do something about it.

    The good news: the longer they roll around in it, the easier it will be for us to leave them sad and unemployed next year. I’ve never looked forward to midterms more.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Something tells me that the GOP will merely trying to hide the soiled bedsheets and just Febreeze everything in site.

      • Amelia

        Yeah, but they’ve been doing that for months. Some of the sheets in the closet must be starting to rot by now.

        (When does this metaphor get old? Are poop jokes truly timeless?)

      • Persistent Demme

        Let ’em try!

    • cmd resistor

      I don’t know. So many times people have said, They’ve really done it now and will soon be extinct, the same way they said about Trump, well, that’s it for him. But they seem to have some kind of amazing staying power. I hope I am wrong.

      • Amelia

        Their staying power is racism and homophobia in the south and heartland. We just need leverage in the swing states and I think we’re getting it.

        • Persistent Demme

          And forget those guys.
          Let them wallow in their self-destructive glory.
          You’re right, we just need leverage.

      • One of the things I think will cause a serious problem for them next year is that they no longer have the “scary black man!” in the Oval Office to point to, stoking their base’s racism, and deflecting from their thinking about consequences of the Republican platform. Which should also be hitting the electorate in a major way around then as well.

        • PubOption

          Repubs will still be investigating the scary black man’s wire tapps next year.

          • I think that’s going to fade out, outside of a limited pool of conspiracy idiots. It’s hard to keep stoking the “outrage” when said President is out of office. think the Russian stuff will keep building, and as people start to see hits on Social Security, Medicare, the loss of their health insurance, along with the promised jobs not appearing, there will be a backlash. If we work hard at GOTV, as well as lashing the Republicans to the Trump mast, we’ll be able to watch them sink with him.

      • DahBoner

        Part of it is Republican voters have no moral values+crazy.

  • Puck

    Apparently today is something called “Telework” day, hence the DHS people being asked to work from home…

    http://wtop.com/sprawl-crawl/2016/03/va-encourages-working-from-home-during-telework-week/

    • Medusa

      Peculiar that it was deemed appropriate (by WH) only for the DHS people …
      on the day the new Not a Muslim Ban EO rolls out…

      • Puck

        Yeah it’s definitely weird, just noting that it’s apparently a thing.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Trump’s refusal to believe Comey on the taps reminds me of Tom Brady’s defence during Deflategate.

  • That headline! BRAVO!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Something to add to the Wonkagenda:

    The Department of Education said in 2015 that schools “generally must treat transgender students consistent with their gender identity,” and that schools could lose federal money if they discriminated against trans students. Il Douche withdrew that guidance, probably at the insistence of the religious fucknut Pence, despite the fact that even Betsy DeVos told him it was stupid.

    Today, the Supreme Court announced that it would not hear the Gavin Grimm case on whether Virginia public schools had to allow transgender students to use the bathroom of their choice. Instead, the Court vacated an appeal’s court decision in favor of Grimm, and sent the case back for further consideration “in light of” the new guidance.

    You might wonder how “guidance” from an administrative agency (or, in this case, the absence of guidance) controls a court’s decision on a question of law. Answer: it doesn’t. A court can defer to the agency in a close case, but here we might see the same decision, kicking the case back up to SCOTUS. The whole farce is probably an attempt to get the case heard after Gorsuch is seated on the Court (assuming he didn’t talk to the Russian ambassador.)

    • VirginiaLady

      Thank goodness he will graduate this year. Getting out of slackjaw county is the best thing for any kid with plans for a happy future. Let him face the courts from a friendlier environment.

      • Yr. Gma

        I am in awe of that kid’s bravery.

    • Yeah, I saw this as well, but it didn’t come out in time for me to add it to the list today. If we don’t cover it today, I’ll add it tomorrow.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        It’s an interesting situation. Deference to an agency is supposed to be based on the agency’s expertise… which is obviously missing when the “guidance” is a political decision made in the White House. (True of Obama’s guidance as well.)

  • Is Fiona the babby hippo sitll premature? I’m confused…

    • therblig

      Don’t be so hippocritical.

      • Doug Langley

        Now be nice. He just has an unusually active hippocampus.

        • therblig

          I think I attended that school.

        • Yr. Gma

          She. She’s a girl.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Some of us hippos are grrrls.

  • Liberal Fascist Ron

    Hey, don’t diss Russian trucks! https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/db/01/4f/db014f754d49571e081b76d86e9034aa.jpg And since I have puppets to finish and teh internetz are crappy slow this morning, I will catch all y’all later.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Our friends at the Guardian are getting a little carried away. The Jessiah? Puh lease.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/mar/06/the-jessiah-dutch-progressive-populist-jesse-klaver?CMP=share_btn_tw

  • VirginiaLady

    Somebody in national security has something. They are wise to keep quiet what it really is. This way no one can create reasons for certain actions or think up a good defense. It’ll all come out once arrests start being made. Also too, you’ll get to see who some of the real American heros are.
    Anticipation. Anticipaaation….

  • BadKitty904

    Let me add, Dominic, that this is one of the most brilliant titles I’ve ever seen on Wonkette. Kudos, sir…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1ebad3f0056a534f114d43b42366615a46b7d1d39e359c88dff5e095b1f1ad61.gif

  • By the way, witness the smooth collected diplomacy and tact that made people believe that this eloquent speaker is the perfect person to lead and represent us in the free world:

    https://mobile.twitter.com/DonCheadle/status/838163171055566848

    (I bet he “borrowed” such witticism from Milo Yiannopoulos.)

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Don Cheadle is telling the truth. The way I heard it, Trump was asked the same question by a journalist once (and actually blushed when he said yes) so 45* likely thought it was a valid question to ask other men.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        He was talking to Breitbart “journalists” that far back?

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Nope. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, 45* ran his mouth constantly, trying to convince people that he was a Playboy and that he had game. Listen to some of his interviews on Howard Stern. MAJOR ASSHOLE.

  • TundraGrifter

    We learned a few years ago that when James O’Keefe tries to tapp phones he just steps on his own dick.

    Again.

    But when President Obama does it…WOW!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Obama Libelz!11!11! When Obama rarely steps on his own dick, he apologizes to it profusely! He’s a gentleman.

  • DahBoner

    DHS employees were instructed to work from home that morning.

    Trump got the email from Tiffany explaining the benefits of not having to wear pants while working.

    Luxury sports cars, also to…
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/MgX8LzWrA6dgY/giphy.gif

    • HazooToo

      Wait til he finds out what Tiffany did to Lori, though.

  • Shibusa
    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I’ve heard that the “gay scene” is two dudes dancing.
      That’s too horrible for the kiddies – better that they see murder and mayhem.

  • Yr. Gma

    I really want to go to the Cincinnati zoo.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Cincinnati is 9 hours away by car. The Atlanta Zoo has baby gorillas and pandas!

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Oooo, something else to do when in Atlanta for Dragoncon

      • Yr. Gma

        Well, I’m a couple of hours from San Diego Zoo, but I want to see every zoo there is!

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Become a member of the San Diego Zoo and then you get membership privileges at others, like museums do. Then you can plan your trips and save some moneys.

      • James Lamere

        That tiger you saw pacing his cage 5 years ago , is still there , pacing back and forth , while you went on with your life .Zoos are animal prisions .

  • SweetDeeKat

    Very curious – why were DHS employees told not to show up this morning? Edit: I saw the Telework link, but remain deeply suspicious anyway.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Y’know what’s fun? Giving The Bastard advice about ties on Twitter. Sure, it’s pretty much screaming into the void, but it’s still fun.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    John Oliver’s interview with the Dalai Lama was one of the most entertaining things I’ve seen of late.

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