SHARE
Did you see this moment? Nobody else did either.

Aw nuts! Donald Trump did a big boy address to Congress and managed not to play with any of his own poop THE WHOLE TIME, and he used the widow of that Navy SEAL killed in Yemen as a prop to score political points, and all these idiot people on the television (looking at you, VAN JONES) were like “OMG HE PIVOTED! He is ‘presidential’ now, because he didn’t eat any of his own farts while he was talking! Hooray for Trump!” It was an amazing speech! (WONKETTE INSTA-FACT-CHECK: The fuck it was.)

Yeah, well, pull out your sad trombones and start a-blowin’, because there’s bad news about the ratings for the address, which, like everything else in Trump’s sad life, weren’t as big as Obama’s:

According to Nielsen’s final official tally, Trump’s speech drew 47.74 million viewers from approximately 9 to 10:15 p.m. across 11 networks. Those 11 networks counted by Nielsen were ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, Univision, PBS, CNN, Fox Business Network, Fox News Channel, MSNBC, and NBC Universo.

President Obama’s first address pulled in an audience of 52.37 million people across the four broadcast networks, Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, Telemundo, and Univision — a difference of about 9%. The audience for President George W. Bush’s first address, at 39.79 million, was overshadowed by the State of the Union Address he delivered in 2003, which brought in 62.06 million viewers.

And before somebody says, BUT WAIT, that doesn’t count all the people who watched it on the interwebs, Variety throws cold water on that theory, pointing out that live-streaming usually doesn’t account for any more than a “couple percent” of the total viewership. Wonkette would like to throw even COLDER water on it, by noting that Trump supporters, on average, are 396 million years old, and do not tend to stream things on their AOL free trial disks or Jitterbug phones. The numbers would have been way higher, we guess, if more Trump supporters were able to find the TV clicker in the couch cushions. As it is, they just kept watching Home Shopping Network or their old videotapes of “Wheel Of Fortune.” SAD!

Now, as many have noted, Trump did receive high marks for his speech, among the five and a half people who watched it. Even some Democrats liked it, with a CBS poll finding that 40% of Dems who watched “at least somewhat approved” of the speech. This simply proves that some Democrats are idiots.

But did Trump not set TREMENDOUS records, for giving the most-tweeted-about presidential address to Congress OF ALL TIME? Actually, seems like those numbers were padded by pro-Trump “bots,” AKA fake people who don’t even exist. What a loser!

Anyway, whatever “bounce” Trump gets for speaking for one whole hour without literally setting his own orange dick on fire, it’s likely to go away pretty fast because LOL RUSSIA. Did you hear there is new news on Russia? Attorney General Jeff Sessions had love talks with the Russian ambassador, who is also a spy! And there will be more news about the Russia stuff, because literally everybody in the Trump regime seems to be infected/compromised by Russia in some way! Ha ha!

The point is that Trump’s loser speech for losers was watched by very few losers, and everybody will soon forget about it, because RUSSIA? DID YOU HEAR RUSSIA STUFF? THERE IS MORE RUSSIA STUFF!

RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA! RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA!

The end.

Wonkette, which is entirely reader-supported, gives Trump VERY LOW RATINGS for his address to Congress. Won’t you help us out with a few bucks?

[Variety]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
Previous articleOh, Jeff Sessions Met With Russian Ambassador During Campaign, Then Lied? Is That A Big Deal?
Next articleJews And Muslims Having To Crowdfund For Each Other A Little Too Often Lately