SHARE
It’s over by the cigarettes.

Morning, Wonketariat! There’s some shit that went down over night, so grab your caffeinated beverages because we’ve got some serious stuff to talk about. Here’s just some of the things we may be talking about today!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • MynameisBlarney

    I heard NPR talking about Sessions lying about not meeting anyone in the Russian govt.
    They had a clip of Sen. Franken asking him directly about it. And that Elmer Fudd lookin’ motherfucker Sessions lied like a damn rug.

    I believe he may be out of a job soon.

  • Nounverb911
    • Rick Hill

      My coffee has been slacking off.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • FlownΩver

      It depends on what “have” you have.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      “Communications with Russians” = “hiring pee hookers”.

  • Mary Sandoras

    Just a note on TOR. I’ve read where is was sekritly developed by the gov. so they could monitor what you’re trying to hide. I don’t know if that’s conspiracy theory or truthiness.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Finnabar87

      Such big sillies!

      Cartoonists are apparently also enemies of the people, you know.

      • Keith Taylor

        Hey, yes. Always have been. Ron Cobb’s work was seditious and disgusting. Even his movie work on Sleeping Beauty, Alien, and Conan the Barbarian couldn’t redeem him. Do these libtard bastards think being creative is a recommendation or something?

  • Nounverb911

    “Career foreign service workers at the State Department are freaking out because they have nothing to do”

    Invite them to join the Wonkette.

    • There’s a reason I like to include stories about federal workers…

      • arglebargle

        If you glance at that quickly it looks like “feral” workers, which might soon be the case in this instance.

  • Truck Fump

    Trump’s White House thinks Kellyanne didn’t do anything wrong when she started peddling Ivanka Trump swag on teevee, so they’re not going to punish her. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2ab33befed0f0d2f6a1c82ab008842db846f57fb629c3c88ff2e4516ee2a1303.jpg

    • Rick Hill

      It’s not as though she did something really wrong…like hawk one of Obama’s books or something

      • bupkus23

        Speaking of the Obamas’ books, I’m waiting for their new book deals to become the latest RWNJ talking point ( the initial reporting on ABC sure tried to make like the “$60M deal” sound sinister ).

        • Celtic_Gnome

          They are going to go apeshit when the final numbers come out.

    • FlemmishSpy

      That poor simian had his likeness distorted by some chimp with a computer.

  • GoutMachine

    I hate to say “I told you so,” but – oh, who the fuck am I kidding. HA HA! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e864ecb8cb4b66d7062652c82e5f956a96de2201fedbe98ac077e7368edf8f48.jpg

    • Finnabar87

      Spit take alert!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      If your schadenfreude lasts more than 4 hours, enjoy the 5th one, too.

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      Vox populi…

  • Rick Hill

    C’mon. You lefties can’t be satisfied. Conservatives heard the worry about the return of MMccarthyism and so they went the opposite way by becoming bff with the Ruskies. Can’t you people be satisfied?

    • beingreleased

      It is kind of funny that the press has discovered more ties with the Russians in the past couple of months than the HUAC ever did.

      • GoutMachine

        BUT HER EMAILS!

        • Finnabar87

          We’ee gonna need a bigger email jail.

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah, imagine that…

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    laws that would limit your ability to protest

    Then brace yourself for a YOOOGE increase in unemployment. (The real rate not the made up one Trump University graduate and part time SCROTUS uses.)

  • memzilla Ω

    “I never met with any Russian officials to discuss issues of the campaign,” Mr. Sessions said. “I have no idea what this allegation is about. It is false.”

    If you have “no idea” about something, how can you say if it is true OR false?

    Now imagine you’re in front of Judge Judy and you say this: “Your Honor, sorry I forgot to tell you, but I was meeting with my co-defendant not in the course of his being a bank robber, but as a father asking for tips on parenting.”

    • FlownΩver

      “… and the conversation coincidentally occurred in a bank. And I was wearing a mask… I have no idea why.”

  • Nounverb911
    • GoutMachine

      The sweet, sweet slow jam of justice.

      • aureolaborealis

        The wheels of justice turn slow, but they grind exceeding fine.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Nounverb911

    And now a word from the Watergate Alumni Team:

    https://twitter.com/JohnWDean/status/837143587900932097

  • bookish

    http://abc30.com/news/dhs-to-provide-support-to-jewish-community-following-threats/1780564/

    The U.S. Department of Homeland Security announced it will be assisting law enforcement efforts to support Jewish community centers in the aftermath of threats and instances of vandalism committed against them in recent weeks.

    The announcement, in a press release from DHS Secretary John Kelly, notes that the department “is working closely with Jewish communities to advise and support on protective measures they can put in place to help keep people in their community safe.”

    “In light of the nature of the threats to Jewish Community Centers, I have directed DHS to heighten our outreach and support to enhance public safety,” reads the statement from Kelly which notes that DHS officials met with the executive directors of the Jewish Community Center Association of North America.

    • Wanted to include that one, and also McCain Graham, but just couldn’t get to it in time today :(

    • FlownΩver

      DHS? “Advise and support on protective measures”? How about a DOJ task force to go out and round up the cretins responsible?

      Oh, right… Justice is kinda busy looking up its own collective ass at the moment.

      Never mind.

  • dslindc

    But can Jeff Sessions read from a teleprompter?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Welcome to the Trump Alternative Universe, where an AG who is honest and upholds the Constitution is fired, and the one who is a treasonous, lying sack of racist shit is rewarded.

    • Isaac Heston

      There is always more and it is always worse.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I think this qualifies as “Feature, not a bug.”

  • MynameisBlarney
  • mrpuma2u

    Is there anyone in the Drumpf administration/gang that is not damn lying liar?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Job requirement. Honest people need not apply.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Hi Bunny!

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Hi Lance! … Have I been missed or something?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            But of course! Just being cheerful – and hoping the day’s news doesn’t yank too many rugs out from under us.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            I got a lil bit depressed with the news last Friday, so I’m just getting back into the swing of things. Seems like there’s always a new horror show… Nevertheless, I will persist and enjoy dick jokes with you Wonkerratti!!!

    • Finnabar87

      No.

      But it’s not a REAL lie when a Republican does it.

      Everyone knows that!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I think DeVos may believe her own choicey bullshit. Apart from that, no.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Bravo, President Obama!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Little Babby Donnie has more bad things to say about The Generals than he does about his Vlady-kins.

  • EvilHRLady
  • Nounverb911
    • dslindc

      “Nevertheless, she persisted.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Attagurl!!!!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    There is serious stuff to talk about today. But before all that, I just wanted to say, I approve of the elephantpigdeer.

    • Sardonicuss

      I want one, which I would name “Snorf” because duh..

  • Rick Hill

    Just one quick lighter moment before plunging into the shitfest the repubs are making of this country. OJ back when he was being funny and not butchering two people and breaking into homes
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2_tJIgfnDA

  • BadKitty904

    But…but…but consider Beau Sessions long career of service to his state!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f9830e3defd8c428f704f2d51b0ebbc4b945c00c7c1ba289af4e278637ad09cb.jpg

    • FlemmishSpy

      May white flags wave again!

      • coozledad

        He’d have bought a surrogate to fight in his place.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    And to answer the question some of you might have: Yes we actually have a political party in the Netherlands which specifically wants to attract voters by putting animal well being at the centre of their program and hold about 7 or 8 seats in the polls right now.

  • dslindc
  • Crystalclear12

    Jeff Sessions making Republicans look bad. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff you are no amateur, you know they will shiv you AND throw your ass under the bus.

    What were you thinking?

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Sessions didn’t lie about meeting with the Russians. He just said ‘no’ when the answer was clearly ‘yes’ because alternative-somethings-or-another and maybe-he-forgots, or perhaps, the-question(s)-was/were-unclear.

    He’s gonna fit right in.

    • AJ Milne

      It was opposite day?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I think there was something wrong with his microphone.

  • x111e7thst

    Time for another investigation of Benghazi emails

    • Crystalclear12

      4 dead Americans.

  • Nounverb911
  • Finnabar87

    Good people smoke pot, Sessions.

    What good people don’t do is lie.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Pressure is growing. Jason “WhyYesMyFaceIsMelting” Chaffetz joins growing choir of GOPigs’ calling on Sessions to recuse himself.

    Chaffetz calls on Sessions to recuse himself from Russia probe
    By POLITICO STAFF 03/02/17 08:47 AM EST Updated 03/02/17 09:16 AM EST

    House Oversight Committee Chairman Jason Chaffetz on Thursday morning said Attorney General Jeff Sessions should recuse himself from any investigation into ties between President Donald Trump’s campaign and Russian officials, joining a growing number of Republicans calling for such a move.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/chaffetz-sessions-russia-probe-235603

  • bookish

    Jeff Sessions shanked his own self. Babby veggie piggies is cute. True facts.

  • dslindc

    But what will he put on his application to grad school at Applebee’s State?

    https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/837003307902255105

    • BadKitty904

      He was better in Deliverance

    • JohnBull

      This is the asshole who wanted the UI to stop hiring democrats until a republican or two wanted to teach, as if this state is just full of republicans with MAs who want to work for $38,000 a year as a goddamn adjunct.

  • coozledad

    Sessions was going to be Trump’s point man in the war on blacks. your local shitpants cops have already been drafted as the enforcement arm. From my local paper, the Roxboro Courier -Times:
    Police stop went too far
    To the editor:
    On Jan. 28, my 35-yearold son helped me with some yard work. When he completed the work my wife drove him home, which is approximately one mile away.
    The Roxboro police department had established a driver’s license checkpoint at an intersection. The officer checked my wife’s driver’s license, looked at my son and told them to proceed.
    Upon arriving home, my son realized he had left an item at my house. He and his wife drove through the same checkpoint with the same officers. Without having any proof one of the officers said “You’re Ernest Poole Jr. and we have warrants on you.”
    My son knew there were no warrants on him and a war of words exchanged. The officer told my son he was under arrest, only to discover no warrants existed on him.
    My son’s wife called me and I drove to the magistrate’s office. For approximately 30 minutes no officers arrived with my son. After determining that no warrants existed, officers refused to carry him before a judicial official for a no probable cause hearing. He remained handcuffed in the patrol car.
    Out of concern for his safety, I drove to the checkpoint. When I arrived on the scene, I saw my son sitting in a patrol car handcuffed. One of the officers had his forehead on my son’s forehead yelling in his face.
    I asked the sergeant what the charges were. I was shocked when he said there are no charges. I inquired why he was in handcuffs and sitting in the patrol car. At this time the sergeant ordered that the handcuffs be removed and my son was released.
    As a retired officer, I knew this was illegal. After an officer places a person under arrest the officer can’t unarrest the person. Only a judicial official can release the arrestee.
    At this point the officer threatened to arrest me. He was told by the sergeant not to arrest me.
    I’m rated by the Veteran’s Administration as 100 percent disabled because of PTSD as a result of the Vietnam War. When this officer was yelling at me, I started having flashbacks after 10 years of not having one. Only thoughts of my family, my medication, my years of military discipline and my experience as an officer allowed me to fight the desire to fight
    We filed a formal complaint with Chief of Police. The chief reviewed the audio and videotapes of the incident which verified what my son said in the complaint. The chief assured me he would take the proper action.
    I’m writing this letter in hopes that this happens to no one else’s son or daughter.
    Ernest Poole Sr.
    Roxboro

    Ernest Poole is a retired police officer.

  • Nounverb911
  • Finnabar87

    Jeff Sessions might be leaving DC to spend more time trying to slay a dragon for Gandalf, soon.

    • ariel_gee_398

      If Sessions really is a Baggins, he’s clearly one of the Sackville-Baggins.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Lobelia libelz!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        When 2 fetal alcoholic orcs mate = Sessions.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Well, if the Kremlin is denying it, you know it definitely happened.

    https://twitter.com/DarthPutinKGB/status/837309173155127296

    • Nounverb911

      Has the ‘blue’ dress come back from the cleaners yet?

  • stankbait

    Gad Damn it we’re fucked! What a fucking mess!
    And FAUX is still blaming Obama.

  • Chadwells

    Perjury is a fucking crime. I don’t want this wing eared little fucking hillbilly piece of shit to recuse himself….I want him to go to fucking prison!!!

    • BadKitty904

      A Sensible Policy for a Better America.

    • FlownΩver

      Make Prison Great Again!

    • Sandy Beaches

      This makes all those chants of, “Lock her up!” seem that much sillier.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Ahh’ did not have ko-mewnnee-kations’ with the Russkies.” ___ Lil’ Jeffy Sessions.

    http://i.imgur.com/V0t8iqr.gif

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    So Mike Pence is going to be the one person in this administration that isn’t compromised by Russia?

    • BadKitty904

      Yet.

      • Skaarphy

        Yet or nyet?

        • BadKitty904

          Da.

      • Rick Hill

        He’s proly smert enough to not leave evidence

        • BadKitty904

          He’s managed to keep his mouth shut so far…

    • “all goes according to plan…”

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Don’t be ridiculous. It was probably all his and Bannon’s idea in the first place. No one’s been able to find the smoking gun yet.

      • magyar of infinite power

        The smoking gun is likely to be a knife in Trump’s back.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      He’s to stupid to get in on the sweet, sweet rubles!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      They were never talking about Jesus, so he got bored and left the room.

  • Ryan Denniston
  • bookish

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-immigration-funds-idUSKBN1685SY

    The rapid start of construction, promised throughout Trump’s campaign and in an executive order issued in January on border security, was to be financed, according to the White House, with “existing funds and resources” of the Department of Homeland Security.

    But so far, the DHS has identified only $20 million that can be re-directed to the multi-billion-dollar project, according to a document prepared by the agency and distributed to congressional budget staff last week.

    The document said the funds would be enough to cover a handful of contracts for wall prototypes, but not enough to begin construction of an actual barrier. This means that for the wall to move forward, the White House will need to convince Congress to appropriate funds.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Day 40 of the illegal Russian occupation of America.

  • Indivisible Snark Tank

    Some humping, Bible thumping, and gay bashing good ol’ boys in Texas have convinced the Texas Supreme Court to reconsider giving benefits to same-sex couples employed by the state on the grounds that it’s, “perfectly constitutional for the government to offer benefits or subsidies to some married couples while withholding those benefits from others.” Bless y’all hearts.

    Sorry, Dominic, but you need to work on your Texian-talk. “Y’all” is singular, and you’re blessing the hearts of more than one good ol’ boy, so this should have read “Bless all y’all’s hearts.”

    Took me six years of living down here to get that right, so I try to help out whenever I can.

    • Alienist

      Ah’m sahrry, but the issue is, ov cahse, the possessive. Y’all is, indeed, plural, but the possessor of the hahts, um…hearts, is y’all. Therefore, Y’all’s.

    • Suttree

      GMTA

    • GoutMachine

      Yeppers. Also, too, mastery of the ever-elusive “all y’all” is required if you wanna talk Texun.

      • PubOption

        Also whatall, as in ‘whatall happened yesterday?’

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          “How’s your mom ‘n ’em?”

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Why stop with the gays? Why give benefits to brown people?

      • Shanzgood

        I was thinking interracial couples first because religion.

        • PubOption

          The Repubs want to appear loving.

          • Shanzgood

            ISWYDT

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Thank you! I saw some graffiti on the bike path that said, “Fuck all y’all,” and thought it was incredibly redundant. I didn’t know all y’all is the plural of y’all.

  • Nounverb911
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Nancy’s DOUBLIN’ DOWN! Good for her!

      • BadKitty904

        Thank God.

        “No, Jeff, throwing us a sop is NOT going to work.”

    • Ryan Denniston

      IOKIYAR

    • Crystalclear12

      I demand the blood of my enemies!
      Thank you.
      Nancy

    • You left our dissbarment Nancy

    • Finnabar87

      Lynch recused herself for chatting with Bill Clinton.

      Just sayin’.

  • Rick Hill

    So…1800+ important positions with the administration unfilled. With the ongoing shitstorms over the very few appointees, how hard is it going to be to attract anyone to work for them? If they decide to fill those positions, that is…

    • BadKitty904

      They obviously aren’t attracting anyone who’s qualified.

      • Rick Hill

        Not looking for anyone qualified, either…

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      On the positive side, if you take low level job, there’s a good chance of moving up into suddenly available positions.

      • magyar of infinite power

        But file clerk to AG never seemed possible. Before this administration.

    • OneYieldRegular

      They’ll import and hire undocumented workers, naturally.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Trump’ll just call up ICE and tell them to print up a shitload of those H1B visas.

  • Crystalclear12

    Average Republican Congress critter: Let me get this straight. I have to go to town hall meetings and be yelled at about investigating Russian ties and now Jeff Sessions has PROVEN Russian ties he LIED about and you still want me to say no?

    Great, just great. And how are we coming along on that whole healthcare thing?

  • Pilotshark

    YO! Jeff just which part of Illegal do you not understand?

    as Perjury is well Illegal.

    So how is that different than say a working tax paying undocumented worker, who is producing and productive in the economy?
    Oh in my best Emily Litella voice “Nevermind”

  • Finnabar87

    Bill Clinton shoots the breeze with Loretta Lynch, and though neither lied about doing so, stop the planet, they are in cahoots! CAHOOTS!

    Jeff ‘Evil Hobbit’ Sessions lies about Russia? Vas dis vord ‘cahoots? Vodka?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yeah I’m confused. Can Republicans tell me, is lying under oath grounds for impeachment or not?

      • Edith Prickly

        Only if you lied about BJs.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        As Vitter would say, depends.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Loretta Lynch is black, also too. Automatically a criminal.

  • memzilla Ω

    From @aliasvaughn last night:

    1. Let’s sum it up in order of appearance in the past 2 hrs:
    1. White House counsel orders staffers not to delete anything Russia-related

    2. That WH memo is leaked by 3 officials working in administration now, who ask to remain anonymous (snort). This means: subpoena arrived.

    3. Then we get event 2) which is Schiff interviewed by Chris Matthews and tweeting that House has reached agreement on Russian investigation

    4. The document Schiff tweets states in no uncertain terms that they’ll investigate ALL aspects of Russia hacking incl. collusion with Trump

    5. Of note is the quote from Nunes at the end of the official document Schiff tweeted. Total 180 from his lame “nothing here” attempt.

    6. This means Dems in committee played hardball, and Schiff in particular. They left Nunes NO choice. Committee is BIPARTISAN. Key point.

    7. Last but not least, the @nytimes drops the bomb that the Obama administration rushed to preserve all intel on Russia collusion

    8. Which means “Obama knew and he made sure intelligence got all the help he could give”. MORE IMPORTANTLY, new confirmed bits in story.

    9. EU intelligence told US that Trump associates met with Russians in Netherlands, England and other places. These details were undisclosed.

    10. In short, we, your EU allies, most likely have what @20committee calls SIGINT on said meetings, so Trump & associates? Are screwed.

    11. If you think these three events are unrelated? Think again. IC knows how to time its own leaks, and that’s how NYT broke the story.

    12. And since when it rains, it pours: [link] (waPo) Sessions gave false testimony at his confirmation hearing (about meeting with Kislyak twice).

    • Sardonicuss

      Thats the “All the President’s Men” tick-y I’ve been waiting for.

  • bookish

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/white-house-explores-options-including-use-of-military-force-to-counter-north-korean-threat-1488407444

    An internal White House review of strategy on North Korea includes the possibility of military force or regime change to blunt the country’s nuclear-weapons threat, people familiar with the process said, a prospect that has some U.S. allies in the region on edge.

    • Martini Ambassador

      It’s the old “squirrel!” maneuver.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      U.S. allies in the region aren’t excited about the U.S. military doing the BOOM-BOOM-BOOM or regime-change routine over there??? They have misgivings? Well, I personally couldn’t imagine why, it’s not like those things have a way of destabilizing regions or something.

    • BadKitty904

      Can the same strategies be used to blunt the GOP’s damage to America?

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Oh good. War with China. That’s sounds like a swell idea.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah, trump would have no qualms about starting a war which would likely have a huge death toll in Seoul right off the bat if it took the heat off of him and made him look good(for about two minutes)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Something something land war in Asia.

      We will be greeted as hamburgers.

  • Bill D. Burger

    In order to alleviate Sessions’ heart palpitations this morning, the White House sent over this soothing aid for him.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c7cb8d9371778ba974e80dbdf291cd86548a4da0a146e4cd203d06dad46df1a6.jpg

  • Martini Ambassador
    • Finnabar87

      The poor horses, they alway get screwed by those crackers.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Thank the fuck he has a shirt on.

      • GoutMachine

        Give it time. He hasn’t been to Putin’s ranch orientation yet.

      • Finnabar87

        They tried it with just skins, but it made them feel too gay.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      [redacted] but not the horse he rode in on!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The horse he oppressed by riding it in.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Just like the rest of this administration, we’re left to clean up their shit.

    • Those Park Police he rode in with will probably be laid off by the end of the week.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Nothing screams efficient and cost-effective government like riding a horse through DC to get to work.

    • DrBigHead

      Wasn’t sure what the BSEE was, so I followed the link. This from their Twitter page:

      “BSEE works to promote safety, protect the environment, and conserve
      resources offshore through vigorous regulatory oversight and enforcement.”

      So I wonder how pleased they actually are that their jobs are going to go away.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I know what BS stands for. And who stands for it.

    • PubOption

      Remake of McCloud?

  • Nounverb911

    Sorry George, that lines been used already.
    https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/837310051240964097

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Such a BORis!!!

      I’ll see my way out…

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Finnabar87

      And why is it that evil guys don’t have freaking lips?

      They lied them clean off.

      • Lizzietish81

        Kenneth Branaugh libel!

    • OneYieldRegular

      I don’t know, I was pretty stunned at the ease with which Sessions lied to Franken, like it was first nature to him.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        ISWYDT

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        And smiled while doing it.

    • Kakkeltje

      In every picture he looks like the human skin suit he is wearing is somewhat uncomfortable.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        It’s the centuries of inbreeding. It also accounts for the ears (too much) and lips (too little).

    • puredog

      If there’s such a thing as death by schadenfreude overdose, I am worried.

  • Nounverb911
    • Lance Thrustwell

      The fact that Chaffetz went to ‘recusal’ this quickly is a clear sign that Sessions is vulnerable. If Creepy Jason thought he could get away with it, he would have echoed Spicer.

      • Finnabar87

        Fun fact!

        Angry Spice was the man in the Easter Bunny costume during the W Bush years.

        • Usedtobeyellerdawg

          Worst Easter Bunny ever: “YOU PUT THAT EGG BACK!! THAT IS NOT YOUR EGG, DO YOU HEAR ME!!?”

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      What? what? what? ChaffedShitz is throwing Sessions under the bus? Is it opposite day? Y’all didn’t tell me!

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      How about a resignation and prison sentence?

    • BadKitty904

      AG Sessions should be investigated, tried, and imprisoned.

    • Chyron HR

      The GOP’s official scandal-investigator should stop jerking off to Card Captor Sakura and investigate this scandal.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      The problem with “clarify” at this point, I believe, is that Sessions has already proffered the bull about Senate business, which is supposed to cover his GOP convention meeting (somehow?).

      What we have here is a failure to communicate.

    • Marceline

      Don’t tell me that Chaffetz wasn’t shook by his town hall.

  • Mpeg

    Party of Animals

    Ahh, Animal House. STILL a better love story than “Twilight”~

  • tihond

    Would the last person in the Trump administration not working with the Russians please figure out how to turn on the lights.

  • Nounverb911
    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      How was Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III supposed to know that the Russian embassy is full of Russian spies? It was an honest mistake.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Yeah, it’s not like he was a member of the armed services committee or the foreign relations committee or a long term senator or anything.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He is now shocked! Shocked!

    • BadKitty904

      Sergey Kislyak, the Russian ambassador, is considered by US
      intelligence to be one of Russia’s top spies and spy-recruiters in
      Washington.

      And, therefore, a close friend and supporter of the Republican Party.

    • cmd resistor

      So do Russian ambassadors routinely attend GOP conventions so as to be available to speak on “sidelines?”

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Could someone at the White House please tell Kellyanne to keep her goddamned feet off the furniture?

    • therblig

      and to stop jumping up on visitors

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • phillipsulak

    How dare you, Sir!!!! Insulting Texas, like that!!!!
    It’s “Bless y’all’s hearts.”
    Sorry, but someone needed to take y’all to task.

    • magyar of infinite power

      I have always been taught that y’all is singular, all y’all is plural.

      • Werewolf

        Nope-y’all is “you all”, plural. Singular is “yew”. Y’all’s is possessive.

        • puredog

          “Y’all” can be both singular and plural, depending on context. I larnt this as a boy growing up in Merlin.

      • phillipsulak

        I’m not a fan of the All, as in All y’all. It is a contraction for You All, so All You All doesn’t seem right. My original point is that the y’all needed to be possessive, hence the ‘s.
        Are there a lot of Texas grammar discussions on the web?

    • puredog

      Isn’t it “Bless all y’all’s hearts”?

      • phillipsulak

        I know a lot folks think the All is needed. But I think y’all’s is an inclusive plural. You can just “feel” how many people are included.

  • In case you missed it, Opera is considering a 2020 run.

    https://t.co/m44Ll1TLr7

    • GoutMachine

      Don Giovanni, or Tosca?

      • Claire

        Nixon in China.

        • therblig

          you get a Carmen, and you get a Carmen, and you get a Carmen!

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Written by a guy named John Adams.

      • LesBontemps

        Cosi fan tutte.

        • I hate you all, I’m going back to studying for my mid-terms

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Never fart in front of the children!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Or maybe just a Libretto.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      A web browser running for office? How 21st century!

    • And you think Hillary was called shrill? Wait’ll Donnie dipshit’s team gets going on Opera…

      • PubOption

        Certainly elitist.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        JFC, she is repulsive.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      NO. Just NO. No more celebrities, no more ‘Washington outsiders,’ no more people with NO governing experience. Just NO, Oprah. I don’t care how beloved you are and how smart and wise you may be. I don’t care if you’re on our side or if you’d be breaking, like, eleventy glass ceilings – just NO. No.

      • Werewolf

        She said “I thought I cant run-I don’t have any experience, I don’t have any qualifications. But now-oh!”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      No Drama Opera.

  • Martini Ambassador
  • Bill D. Burger

    With all the diplomats falling like flies, the Russian ambassador is hoping not to get any calls from the Kremlin today….oops, phone’s ringing.
    “Mr. Ambassador, it’s Mr. Putin, personally.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9579e9b15aa82c5c59e277b8d54e4c310e3204e39740ecdd25dd17770dc3802b.gif

    • BadKitty904

      “Here, have some tea.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Notice he’s not saying anything? That’s a pretty good indicator that the meetings happened and can be verified. When the Russians lie, the won’t be stupid, Trump style lies.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Vice President Mike Pence said Wednesday night that he has no plans to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

    I wonder if he’s rehearsing his 25th Amendment speech?

  • OneYieldRegular

    The Obama People are so dastardly. They even managed to make Jeff Sessions meet with the Russian ambassador twice without Sessions knowing about it himself.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    (Copied from old open thread)

    Peoplez is saying that the Obama Admin preserved evidence of Trump-Russia Connections by sending copies to various other allied governments in the last days before the Trumpocolypse. So when he asked Ol’ Jeff about his Russian Connections, had Franken been tipped by anyone, foreign or domestic, that Ol’ Jeff really had been suckin’ Russians to set-up the perjury?

    We need an investigation of who leaked the truth to Franken!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Drip, drip, drip like a Russian hooker with the clap.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Drip, drip, drip like a Russian hooker in Donnie’s suite who forgot her depends.

  • Martini Ambassador
  • Mr. Blobfish

    How normal is it for senators to meet with ambassadors? Seems more like a State Department chore.

    • Finnabar87

      Sessions was also on the foreign relations committee, which is why Franken asked his tricksy golemesque questions in the first place.

      Which makes it truly odd that Sessions lied about it.

      • puredog

        He maybe just forgot, because stoopid.

  • cheetojeebus

    Now the question is when and how often did Devin Nunes meet with Russian intelligence while greasing the wheels of transition with republican baby batter?

  • AND A PAIR OF TAPIR’D JEANS FOR THE LADIES Dept

    That tapir sure is cute!

    How long before some ass decides eating their cute little noses make old man withered dicks into GIANT ERECT LOVE MUSCLES?

    • Finnabar87

      South Americans have cocoa leaves for that.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      TURGID libel!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    “This is landing with a thud.”

    https://youtu.be/6XM-VnKhC10

  • Bill D. Burger

    PRICELESS read:

    [ With Sessions scandal, the Alabamafication of America is complete

    By Kyle Whitmire | kwhitmire@al.com
    March 02, 2017 at 6:13 AM, updated March 02, 2017 at 6:26 AM

    Sessions is America’s top prosecutor now. Session’s former communications director, Stephen Miller, whispers in the president’s ear, and Mike Hubbard’s favorite blogger, Cliff Sims, now works in the White House communications office.

    In Trump’s America, the federal government doesn’t tell Alabama what to do. Alabama tells the federal government what to do.

    While Sessions wields the federal government’s wrecking ball, he’s much more likely to bring it down on pot smokers in Colorado or bad hombres in the barrio than on his sweet home, Alabama.

    He certainly isn’t going to swing it at his boss over any of that Russia stuff.

    And now that the Post has revealed that Sessions met with the Russian ambassador then lied to the Senate about having contact with Russian officials?

    It seems we need a new special prosecutor to investigate our new top prosecutor who won’t investigate his boss for having contact with the Russians because he also had contact with the Russians …

    Is this sort of thing beginning to sound familiar?

    America, you’ve been Alabamafied. That’s our car in your yard.]

    http://www.al.com/opinion/index.ssf/2017/03/the_alabamafication_of_america.html#incart_river_home

    • Finnabar87

      It’s revenge for that damn Canadian making fun of the state through song.

      • Now everybody can have planters made from tractor tires spray painted white in their front yards LIKE GOD INTENDED.

        • Bill D. Burger
          • Mpeg

            why oh why do i love this image so much

          • jodyleek

            Yes, this is lovely but where is the Virgin Mary in the bathtub grotto?

          • Bill D. Burger

            Clearwater Florida. The flamingos add that special touch that just cries Bethlehem. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/03b0f9cc5ec421d910c0f19eda6b2b60ae252a75b83dbe31a9adb14ceecf2a85.jpg

          • jodyleek

            The flamingos are nice but it’s the top-hatted inch worm in the foreground that elevates this assemblage to surrealist masterpiece.

          • PubOption

            Bethlehem? Needs more steelworks jobs.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Obviously, there are no jockeys in this scene, because they would rape the nice lady in the tub.

          • OneYieldRegular

            “Full of grace! Full of grace!”

          • What? You think you’re in FLORIDA?

            Many of my older relatives often mixed up Jews and Catholics.

            Many of my younger relatives do, too.

          • Bill D. Burger

            See below:

        • aureolaborealis

          “Answer me this: If the good lord didn’t want tire planters, flamingos and Sambo statues in my front yard, then why did he make me so racist, stupid and tasteless?”

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Right, but look what happened to those geniuses.

    • Thaumaturgist

      YOU HAVE GOT TO FOLLOW THAT LINK AND READ THE WHOLE THING. Wonkette-level snark.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I LOVE THIS. “That’s our car in your yard.” Brilliant!

    • Jamoche

      Alabama state motto – “At least we aren’t Mississippi”.

  • bookish

    http://nbcnews.to/2mia2j4

    The stories about Sessions have led Democratic lawmakers either to call for Sessions to recuse himself from any investigation looking into Russia, or to resign because he misled Congress about his contacts with the Russian government. And now Sessions has three options — and all of them are bad.

    One, he agrees to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee to clean up what he said during his confirmation hearing, and to answer any and all questions about Russia. Two, Sessions bites the bullet and appoints a special prosecutor — to save himself from a committee grilling and delay the resignation calls. Or three, he digs in. But if Team Trump choose Door No. 2 and the special prosecutor, it needs to do so ASAP. Why? Because if the administration is truly clean here, it gives them time and space to be vindicated.

  • RC

    If Sessions has to resign the cherry on top is that for now he can’t go back to his Senate seat so we get a toofer.

    • BadKitty904
    • Nounverb911
    • puredog

      Well, I thought of that, but is there any reason that the guy who was seated in his brief absence couldn’t agree to step down (besides his possible disinclination to do so), whereupon the governor of Alabama could re-appoint Sessions?

      • RC

        Seems kind of far fetched if Sessions resigns because he lied under oath. I mean sure they could probably finagle it but he’s be pretty tainted and his power restricted. He would never be the force for evil he once was.

        • puredog

          Oh, but he wouldn’t step down “because of lying under oath,” he would step down to “keep from becoming a distraction.” He could then go back to hiding in the Senate like he always did. But if he hangs on and gets torpedoed, you may be right.

          • Bebecca

            or maybe to spend more time with his family.

      • bupkus23

        OTOH – what makes you think that Luther Strange ( geez, talk about a super-villain name ) would step down? They guy sounds at least as power-hungry as any other GOPper….

      • OneYieldRegular

        The governor of Alabama? That guy? 10-1 he would nominate himself.

  • Shanzgood
  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    So, Trump’s like, “Easter? Which one is that? Is that where the baby gets born in a barn or the one where they hang that Jewish guy?”

  • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

    For the Trump admin,
    http://i.imgur.com/JNhU5Tt.gif
    You get a dick punch, and you get a dick punch, you ALL get dick punches.

    Seriously, what a bunch of half assed crooked prevaricating fuckswizzlers

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Dick’s? Facts not in evidence.

    • Yeah, basically this!

  • Nounverb911
  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So “Bananas” Bannon wants to destroy the ship of state? Seems like they’d have to build one first. Right now they’re more like sinking the dinghy of desperation.

  • Nounverb911
    • puredog

      Let me know when a Republican issues a statement that strong.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Twitler, maybe not as popular as he likes to tell you he is.
    https://twitter.com/politico/status/837314089160421378
    Pa-thetic!

  • BadKitty904

    This “Administration” is an insult to super-villains everywhere.

    • Sardonicuss

      “What? Hell no…nobody would believe that!” – Magneto

      • BadKitty904

        “Goddam tyros…” ~ Doctor Doom

    • MynameisBlarney

      They make The Monarch and his Henchmen look like consummate professionals.

      • Sardonicuss

        Meloncholia is Dr. Girlfriend

    • The Wanderer

      “Asshole.” – Lex Luthor.

  • pragmatist3

    “Russian? I thought he was the Pillsbury Dough Boy.”
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Sergey_Ivanovich_Kislyak_2016.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      …the Pillsbury Dough Bear.

      • jodyleek

        In mother Russia, can full of salty bread dough explode you!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The Pilsbury Da Boy.

      • DahBoner

        The first chin has a microphone, the second chin has video camera

      • therblig

        Putin Fresh

    • The Wanderer

      It’s the old Dick Tracy villain, Littleface!

  • Nounverb911

    “IT’S ALL OBAMA’S FAULT!”
    –DJT

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/837307902268477440

  • bookish

    http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/03/donald-trump-white-house-business

    Among the wealthiest presidents—by his own measure—in the history of the United States, Trump is possibly the most conflicted and indebted. He is also the only president in modern times to resist separating himself from his business interests—and the potential for corruption and self-enrichment—in a way that meets the barest ethics standards. Given the risks to the legitimacy of his presidency, why won’t he?

    • Suttree

      He hasn’t gotten the Rosneft money yet?

    • Bebecca

      No wonder he declined ethics training for his employees. Of course they had no plan to follow ethical guidelines so it would have been a waste of money.

    • PubOption

      With a name like Vanity Fair, they have to run articles on Trump.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • GoutMachine

      New shit has come to light, man!

      • Suttree

        You’re outta your element Donnie!

    • BadKitty904

      Here’s hoping…

    • Crystalclear12

      It’s been said that journalists can smell blood in water more acutely that a shark.
      Yeah
      *goes to prepare popcorn*

      • The Wanderer

        Not these journalists. They’re more like little yappy lapdogs.

        • Noxious Resistance

          Not Dan Rather. He’s one of the Old Guard. He remembers Vietnam and Watergate.
          The old guys are gonna have to lead on this one.

    • If you guys need me, I’ll be polishing my schadenfreude and getting it ready for showtime.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’ve been taking supplements to make sure my Schadenfreude glands don’t get all ‘splodey.

    • PubOption

      Samovar Dome?

  • fawkedifiknow

    The official Republican response (so you know it’s bull shit) is that Sessions was merely carrying out his Senatorial job as a member of the Foreign Relations Committee, by meeting with the Rooski Ambassador. If that’s the case, I wonder if he reported back to his Committee about the meetings and what was said by him and the Rooski. Just askin’.

    • Sardonicuss

      The greatest part is the dems questioning for confirmation, setting him up for perjury by asking him those questions. They must have known…it was all just to get it into the record.
      Al Frankin and his comedic sword of justice strikes again!

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I think they asked ALL of the Russian Puppet’s nominations about Russian puppet strings. Besides, they’re republicans…you know they are lying.

        • Sardonicuss

          That means that there is a crop ton of intel Obama left scattered all across the landscape.
          At this point, the dems are just planting mines….which they will detonate at will….along with the EU IC.
          Boom…boom…boom.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Liberal Mr. Whithers says, “Excellent!”

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Remember when Sheridan mined the area of space where the Shadow and Vorlon fleets were converging?

            “Gentlemen, this is your wake-up call.”

    • Mike Steele

      Was up all night watching this slo-mo train wreck. Apparently his ‘excuse’ was checked out by contacting all 26 members of that committee to see if they’d had any reasons to contact the Reds. Before I dozed off, 19 or 20 had replied in the negative. If you want a friend in DC, Beauregard, you’d better get yourself a tick hound.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      And where did they meet? At RNC Hq, at a strip bar in Maryland, at his senate office?

      • The Wanderer

        Or one of Those Places I recall hearing about up on Y Street in DC.

      • bupkus23

        Isn’t the RNC Hq AT a strip bar in Maryland?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      So, the correct response to Senator Franken’s question should have been, “I’ve spoken to the Russian ambassador twice in that time period as part of my duties on the Armed Services Committee.”

      Which would still make his answer a lie under oath.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    LOCK HIM UP !!!

    • He’s a republican… At most he’ll resign then get a cushy lobbying job, he won’t face any actual punishment for perjury and possible treason!

      • bupkus23

        At least he won’t go back to Senator

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Mike Pence has no plans to meet with Vladimir Putin. I CAN’T IMAGINE WHY!

    No more pillow talk.

    • Bill D. Burger

      The new Golden Age of Trump & Putin may be coming to a fitting conclusion.

      https://i.ytimg.com/vi/cq6RELErOo4/hqdefault.jpg

      • RC

        well that’s just creepy.

        • Bill D. Burger

          Lawwd’….Then you MUST see the video! It’s epic.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq6RELErOo4

          • Antonin Dvorak

            That is some definite Betty White libel right there.

          • RC

            LOL hahaha I’m going to be giggling to myself all day.

          • janecita

            That’s the stuff of nightmares, shudders😦

          • Tacoclamgenda

            Hmmm… to click or not to click. I’m afraid to ask how.much creepier the video can be.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You mean, what comes after the spanking in Castle Anthrax?

    • BadKitty904

      Mike figures if he stands very still and very quiet long enough, he’ll get to be President of the United States.

      • FlemmishSpy

        He’s the impeachment upper decker.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        This has been his plan all along.

        • BadKitty904

          Well, his owners’, the Koch Brothers’, plan. Mikey is just following orders.

    • Why would he need to meet with him? Just pick up the direct line Bannon had installed in the oval office…

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Tooth marks in Mike’s pillow though..(CONSENSUAL tooth marks)

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He’s just a guy who can’t say Nyet.

  • Nounverb911
    • OneYieldRegular

      Yeah, just maybe they should have let Elizabeth Warren read that letter, hmm?

  • The Wanderer

    (giggles) I don’t have a camera on my laptop, so my private sexytimes remain just that.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      I’ve been trying to get people to watch.

    • snark-lurker

      graphic descriptions are acceptable, and be specific

      • The Wanderer

        (evil giggles)

        • H0mer0

          [I asked my SO (facetiously) about his day during sexytime and totally ruined the moment]

        • snark-lurker

          come on OUT WITH IT!

    • FlemmishSpy

      I’m sure the spooks have some lingo for laptop turned whack-cam. I wish I knew what it is and how extensive their compromat database.

  • Apple Scruff

    THANK GOD FOR JESS SESSIONS cause ain’t no one going to be talking about how “presidential” our dear orange overlord is anymore.

    • BadKitty904

      That lasted, what, all of 24 hours?

      • cmd resistor

        And he gave up the chance to sign the new EO to keep basking in his speech glory so it would have its “own moment.”

        • BadKitty904

          How…”Presidential“…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Huh, you’d think it was deliberate, almost as if the press was pissed off at this guy or something.

  • Nounverb911
    • snark-lurker

      phuttt. like that’s ever gonna happen

    • puredog

      Fuck, it IS opposite day!

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Fuck, with this admin every day is opposite day

  • bookish

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/north-korean-regime-is-finding-new-ways-to-stop-information-flows-report-says/2017/02/28/7e7cefd0-d605-427b-b37f-8ec8e266017d_story.html?utm_term=.c11053db01cc

    The [North Korean] regime has developed sophisticated new tools to check just what its citizens are up to, according to Compromising Connectivity, a new report from Intermedia, a Washington-based research group.

    The report underlines the challenges in getting information into the most tightly controlled country on the planet — and the challenges that North Korea watchers as diverse as the U.S. Congress and small defector-led groups face in trying to penetrate it.

    • Claire

      We should keep an eye on that and apply the same tactics to Faux News viewers.

    • bupkus23

      THAT’S why the Rump regime is so interested in North Korea -not “national security threat”, but “We want those tools to use against Americans!”

  • Lamb Urgini

    Live photo from washington dc this morning

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C569HTYUwAArMbQ.jpg

  • Errr….aaah….FAKE NEWS!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    What is happening here is more clear now. They have known for weeks that the NYT and WaPo were circling around this story on Sessions and were getting leaks from the US intel about the Russian interference. They knew Sessions had been misleading and lied. So the “press is the enemy of the people” response was used to try and deflect when this story was starting to break.

    • BadKitty904

      And how is that working for them?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        About as well as cover ups usually work- not at all.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yeah, that whole piss off the spies and media seems like genius tactics.

  • MynameisBlarney

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028732032

    Calls for Fudd’s resignation.

    • proudgrampa

      YAY!!!

      Lying sack of shit.

  • shaar dula

    these gymanstics would put pretzels to shame.

    Yes, there were meetings. One in person, one on the phone, at least one of which was in his capacity as a Senator on a committee tasked with this kind of thing. No, that doesn’t mean they talked about the campaign.

    I’m sorry. I don’t see the scandal here. Yeah, Sessions wasn’t completely .. forthcoming, but if we fired politicians for failing to disclose all the facts that may or may not be relevant to an issue, then we would be without politicians.

    Before you say “That’s not a bad thing, Joe!”, I am aware, but let’s be real here. If this were only about the fact that he didn’t disclose all the information, I’d be down with the cause here. But you know it’s not that, and I know it’s not that.

    The Democrats are hanging on to this “RUSSIA HACKED THE CAMPAIGN AND TRUMP IS A RUSSIAN PLANT AND HE IS BAD FOR AMERICA” thing because they cannot accept just how badly they screwed 2016 up. Or how much they’ve been screwing up since they swept in 2008. This Sessions thing isn’t really about national security. It’s about that big Russian scapegoat they’ve been trying to prop up since Hillary lost.

    • BadKitty904

      Written by the Honorable Representative from the State of Denial?

      • snark-lurker

        sure sounds like it

    • TJ Barke

      Pretty sure we’re hanging on to it because he’s a tool of a hostile foreign power that’s constantly trying to sabotage our country…

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Pretzel Gymnast nails his landing! (Into a lagoon of bullshit!) Russian judges give him a 15 out of 10!

      Democrats are demanding answers to “how far does Russian interference in our election go?” and we keep hanging onto that because WE KEEP FINDING DEEPER LEVELS, shit-covered pretzelman.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Why do these people think that treason is OK? What is wrong with them?

      • shivaskeeper

        Blind partisanship. Addiction to fear and outrage.Refusal to admit they may have been wrong. Feel free to add more.

    • Chyron HR

      “But Trump WON! You can’t just go back and charge him for crimes he committed before the election! Also after.”

    • thewalkindude
  • Mike Steele

    “…over by the cigarettes”, Dominic? Lady MS loves that! Good thing Michelle didn’t find his stash first, though we’ve read that he was wise enough to spread info far and wide, on the assumption that they can’t kill us all.

  • bookish

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/03/white-house-explores-using-military-force-against-n-korea.html

    Earlier this week, a senior administration official who may or may not be Donald Trump himself told CNN that the president considers North Korea the “greatest immediate threat” to the U.S. They noted that the president told a Chinese official on Monday, “You gotta work on North Korea.”

    Just in case that doesn’t solve the problem, the White House has also launched an internal review of how to handle the dictatorship. The Wall Street Journal reports that deputy national security adviser K.T. McFarland convened a meeting of national security officials two weeks ago and solicited proposals on North Korea — even if they’re far outside the mainstream. The administration wanted to hear everything from recognizing North Korea as a nuclear power to using military force against Pyongyang.

    Urging officials to thoroughly rethink the problem isn’t a bad thing, and those proposals, which were submitted on Tuesday, are now being winnowed down before they’re presented to the president. What is concerning is that apparently this wasn’t just an internal thought experiment. The WSJ reports: “U.S. officials have underscored the possible military dimensions of their emerging strategy in recent discussions with allies, according to people familiar with the talks.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Using military force? Um, I’m pretty sure that really big country next door to North Korea may have an issue with that.

      • shivaskeeper

        Not the mention the country to the south of them might not want to have Seoul leveled. The DPRK has the capability to level Seoul in about 5 minutes with artillery and missiles. They will do it.

        • rachelmap

          I don’t want Seoul leveled; I live in it right next to the biggest US Army base.

          On the plus side, I guess, if Don the Con gets me killed, my parents will never vote Republican again. (They didn’t vote for him, but I’m pretty sure the rest of their choices had Rs next to their names.)

          • shivaskeeper

            No one wants Seoul leveled.

          • rachelmap

            You sure Kim Jong Un shares that sentiment? I bet he’d do it if he had nothing left to lose.

          • shivaskeeper

            He would love to see Seoul levelled, of course. So did his dad, and his grandfather. That was the point I was making. If anyone goes to war with the DPKR, they are going to level Seoul just because.

    • Marceline

      Didn’t we already do this? Wasn’t there a show with Alan Alda all about it?

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        Would that be “Crimes and Misdemeanors” or “Murder at 1600”?

  • Me not sure

    Note to Trump :
    Never hire anyone with hands smaller than you for any position of importance. Hand size is obviously related to intelligence and competence, and you’re only hanging on by a thread yourself. Besides, grabbin’ stuff is harder. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7073b9c43e425766b20e2c858d289f7bcd3d90604f1e8dbb4986bb89cb7f3b86.jpg

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    Oprah Winfrey is gonna run for president?

    Sure, why not? If we’re gonna elect unqualified TV stars, we may as well install a nice, smart black lady. Phylicia Rashad can be veep.

    • snark-lurker

      i heard she is not really all that nice (in private)

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        I really have no idea, though I’d agree that being a hardass is an occasional requirement of the job.

        • Marceline

          Years ago when I was in a job where I did some event planning, I talked with someone who had done an event for Oprah. The consensus was that she’s very controlling and exacting. Not mean so much as focused to the point of brusqueness. If you expected hugging crying Oprah it was quite a shock.

          • Red Bird Ω

            Isn’t it amazing that we call a successful woman controlling, exacting and focused (as if that was bad)? If only she were born with different genitals. Then she would be called bold and visionary like Elon Musk.

          • Marceline

            Just to be clear I didn’t use those words as insults. By controlling I meant that she knew exactly what she wanted and like to keep on top of details.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Which is more than anybody can say about Lord Dampnut. Who does not appear to know what the hell he’s doing much less anybody else around him.

          • PubOption

            Or Steve Jobs.

    • BadKitty904

      I thought she was smarter than that.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Does it matter? Look at what we have in the oval office now.

    • janecita

      I’ll pass, she is the woman that gave us Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, and gave a huge platform to Jenny McCarthy. She isn’t that smart.

      • Serai 1

        She’s gullible beyond belief.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      As far as Americans are concerned, presidential elections seem like the ones for class president. Why not elect the class clown for shits and giggles? Why not Oprah?

      • The Wanderer

        We had our chance with Pat Paulsen.

    • The Wanderer

      No.
      No.
      No.
      Three “business” Presidents should teach us enough of a lesson to never let a “business” person near the place. EVER.

      • Serai 1

        THANK YOU

  • memzilla Ω

    Here’s Jeff Sessions in 1999 talking about how important it is to prosecute Bill Clinton for lying under oath.

    . https://youtu.be/D5fxdJto7v4

  • Bill D. Burger

    Lil’ Jeffy has gone and dun’ it now. What’s that Southern expression? ….something about tit and ringer???

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/978fbbe28d4863c407ca878013eb49d1337101ce7dd5fc06cd04a03878a32957.jpg

  • cmd resistor

    Totally OT, but this guy seems nice. GOP rep who insulted the dem women who wore white to the speech for being poorly dressed. http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/01/politics/kevin-cramer-women-wearing-white/

    • janecita

      They should have all wore sexy, shiny, magenta dresses instead!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Because his boss, Cheetohlini, is such a sharp dresser. Glass houses and all that.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        They should have done the Lady Gaga thing, only with the dress being well-done instead of raw.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          I see what you did there!

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      And of course, he had thoughts as to what they “should have” done, instead of referencing suffragettes.
      They are bad thoughts.

      I have to say… I get so very, very, very, very, very fucking tired of dipshit men policing women’s actions, words, and intentions.

      • cmd resistor

        He reminds me of my brother, who is still ranting about “women wearing vaginas on their heads.”

    • Persistent Demme

      Did you see Pelosi’s response?
      Something like, “thanks for proving our case for us.”

  • magyar of infinite power

    Obama, being the trickster genius he is, will have hidden the intel about these meetings in Hillary’s emails. Proving once and for all that the fucking repubes never bothered to actually read them.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Interesting.

    “Pro-Trump town rallies behind undocumented immigrant detained for 3 weeks”

    http://www.cbsnews.com/news/illinois-undocumented-immigrant-juan-carlos-hernandez-pacheco-released-from-detention/

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “When we said we wanted all them ‘illegals’ rounded up we didn’t mean the ones we like!”

      • Chadwells

        The immigrant turns out to be the craziest one in the story.

    • snark-lurker

      fucking DUH the FUCKING duh duh DUH!!!1!!!!

  • Nockular cavity

    Lighting up a bowl for the poor racist fucking traitor.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      Admit it: you were gonna do that regardless. I know I did.

    • snark-lurker

      yeah & mee too but, nuttin happens to treasonous peruplicans

    • Chadwells

      Waaaaaay ahead of you….

    • TJ Barke

      Too early.

      • Chadwells

        Debatable.

      • snark-lurker

        it’s after six here

        • RC

          am or pm? :)

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            Bowls.

          • puredog

            Wake ‘n’ bake!

          • snark-lurker

            well, it iz pm somewhere mirite?

          • RC

            what is it the Parrot heads say, “It’s 5 O’clock somewhere”

  • shaar dula

    anything in hillary’s emails even remotely approaching flynn & sessions level of transgressions?

    • BadKitty904

      No.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Well, there was that one with the extra tab indent in paragraph three. Every night she prays her thanks to God that they didn’t find that one *before* the election.

      • shaar dula

        OMG!! shhh.

        • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

          Ooops!!

    • Bill D. Burger

      There was one with a recipe for potato salad that didn’t include eggs. Unforgivable….even in the Junior League.
      ~clutch the pearls~

      • shaar dula

        wtf? potato salad without eggs? are you serious. thank god she did not become the POTUS.

        • RC

          I bet she can’t even bake any fing cookies.

      • The Wanderer

        Heavens!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    At this point, it’s easier to ask who hasn’t had contact with the Ruskies.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      *raises hand*

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      My grandmother was a Russian from the Ukraine, so I can’t run for office. Ever. Not that I would.

      • Persistent Demme

        My dad’s people were “Volga Deutsch.”
        I think they were kicked out of Russia.
        Does that count?

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I dunno… anyone who gets kicked out of Russia must be up to something non-nefarious.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Hillary campaign had her email hacked by them. Republicans to use that as both-sides equivalence argument in 3…2…1…

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Melania, strangely enough.

      • LucindathePook

        Not too sure. There’s a connection through her dad, I think.

        • Tio_Doidinho

          Aha! I was attempting snark & did not know.

    • Doug Langley

      Long ago when I didn’t know any better, I had Russian Dressing on my salad.

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/03/the-geography-of-medical-debt/518316/?google_editors_picks=true
    Nearly one in four American adults under the age of 65 has medical debt, according to the results of a new study by the Urban Institute, and southerners are hit hardest by past-due doctors’ bills.

    The study authors, Michael Karpman and Kyle J. Caswell, found that eight of the ten states with the highest rates of past-due medical debt were in the South: Mississippi, Arkansas, West Virginia, South Carolina, Kentucky, Oklahoma, Alabama, and Georgia. The rate was lowest in Hawaii, at 6 percent of adults, and the highest was Mississippi, at 37 percent. Nationwide, African-Americans and people aged 25 to 34 were most likely to have past-due doctors’ bills.

    http://www.urban.org/research/publication/past-due-medical-debt-among-nonelderly-adults-2012-15

    • bupkus23

      Geez – ya’d think the GOP would be concerned about all them doctors not getting paid!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      All states that didn’t accept Medicaid expansion? Whooda thunk?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Ghenghis McCann

    Could the White House Easter Egg Roll go the way of the correspondents’ dinner?

    Why Does Trump Hate Easter? Boycott!!!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Some humping, Bible thumping, and gay bashing good ol’ boys in Texas have convinced the Texas Supreme Court to reconsider giving benefits to same-sex couples employed by the state

    Did our pal TLM file an amicus on this one?

    • Bill D. Burger

      It will eventually go down in flames, but they never stop.
      ….oh shit, TEXAS. Nuff’ said.
      [Texas challenges gay marriage benefits

      • From the sectionUS & Canada
      • The Texas Supreme Court is hearing a case that conservatives and religious fundamentalists hope can eventually lead to an overturning of legalized gay marriage nationwide.
      • Opponents are suing the city of Houston over its decision to extend benefits to same-sex spouses of city employees.
      • Houston officials argue that they are required to provide them under a US Supreme Court 2015 ruling that same-sex marriage is a legal right nationally.
      • The court had initially chosen not to hear the legal challenge.
      • However, under pressure from Republican state lawmakers, including Governor Greg Abbot, the all-Republican court reversed that decision in January and allowed the trial to begin.
      • In several amicus briefs (advisory opinions to the court), lawmakers asked the court to reject the “‘ideology of the sexual revolution” that federal judges had passed into law.]

      http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-39123265
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4fb44d5680e08c99ff3d35a00088e012d9cc1be14781e96b313c2b87af25ff6d.jpg

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    You Libtard snowflakes are really getting on my nerves with all the whining and the crying about the EPA. Flynt, Michigan PROVED we don’t need potable water, you big babies.

    • snark-lurker

      yeah & EPA made it really hard to find those sweet paint chips that we like

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I used a heat gun to peel off all the old paint chips in my house. They really smoked a lot, and I was happily breathing in all of that smoke. One day I was carting the chips out of the house, thinking to myself “man, these paint peelings are so heavy, they feel like lead.” Light bulb goes off over my head…derp, they ARE lead chips, and I’ve just been breathing in lead smoke for six months. That may explain a lot about my life.

        • puredog

          Eek! Good luck!

        • Persistent Demme

          Yeah, we sanded, (lots of dust) and painted my newborn daughter’s room, (in a 1945 house), and only heard about lead, later.
          All three of us are probably messed up.

    • dluch

      i agree – until we’re like Bangladesh, we can’t get great

      • The Wanderer

        Giedi Prime on a sunny day.

  • RC

    Maybe Milania is staying in NY because she’s pretty sure the Vulgarian isn’t going to be president long enough for her to bother making the move.

    • janecita

      Please, Melania is staying in NY because that’s what Trump wants her to do.

      • RC

        because?….KAC looks good on her knees? or because he’s a serial adulterer in general?

        • janecita

          AOTK

      • Claire

        If you were married to Donald Trump, is there a single excuse you would not use to get him out of the house? Serial adultery would be a feature, not a bug. I’d buy him teeny tiny condoms and lock him out of the apartment.

        • The Wanderer

          Put holes in the condoms, though, so the women can sue him for child support.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            And reduce her bankroll? I THINK NOT!!!!

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Ugh. Can you imagine that flaccid little 70 year old orange peen? And the way he treats women. That’s why he had to outsource his marriage.

          • Tacoclamgenda

            Brain bleech please

        • Persistent Demme

          The only genuine happiness she showed at the ‘naug, was when she interacted with Barron.
          That’s her only concern.
          But this gilded bird in a cage shouldn’t be costing NYC anything.

          • Claire

            No disagreement there. Let Trump pay for it out of pocket.

      • Apple Scruff

        Melania is staying NY because she can’t stand being around her husband.

    • shaar dula

      her husband was voted for/against. this woman was not. she does not get to burn the equivalent of 8-10 years of income of an average pleb in a single day just to satisfy her whims. she needs to haul her precious little ass to DC and deal with the consequences of living with her own husband.

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Nope. That is like saying Hillary needed to be a “real” wife to gov Clinton. While she may not have kept her name or be a lawyer she gets to choose. And if things aren’t good between the two of them, again, it is not somehow her duty to pretend..

        • Serai 1

          But it IS her duty to GET HER ASS TO DC. The citizenry is under NO obligation to pay for her marital problems. Either shit or get off the pot, lady, because the nation is NOT your therapist.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I imagine by now Donnie has a pretty sweet prenup. I’m guessing he can leave her, but she can’t leave him.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        It’s just until June when school let’s out. Yeah, right. Trump wasn’t that concerned about the kids of foreign diplomats finishing their school year before being forced to move.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I will be gobsmacked, that is, smacked right in the gob, if anything happens to Sessions at all.

    • RC

      I have hope only because I didn’t think Flynn would go either. so there’s always hope.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Flynn also wasn’t that powerful and was certifiably insane. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III is a powerful, evil little goblin who has never cared much for the truth and isn’t about to start.

        Unfortunately, the opposition is the Democratic party, so we can expect them to roll over and do whatever the GOP says.

  • magyar of infinite power

    Watching Schumer’s presser, he looks like his dick is hard enough to cut diamonds.

  • bookish

    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/02/white-house-power-player-jared-kushner-keeping-parts-his-real-estate-empire

    Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and the heir to a family real estate empire, has emerged as perhaps Donald Trump’s closest adviser. A near-constant presence by Trump’s side, his portfolio includes business, tax, political, and foreign policy matters.

    Last month his lawyers outlined a plan under which they said Kushner would avoid any possibility that his White House work would overlap with his business interests.

    The plan didn’t have much detail. But newly released documents and statements from the White House are making the picture clearer: Kushner is keeping parts of his family business.

    Kushner retains some real estate holdings associated with Kushner Companies, a White House spokesperson said in an email.

    • shaar dula

      Keeping With Family Tradition, Jared Kushner Won’t Cut His Business Ties
      Newly released documents and statements from the White House make it clear: Kushner is keeping parts of Kushner Companies.

      Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and the heir to a family real estate empire, has emerged as perhaps Donald Trump’s closest adviser. A near-constant presence by Trump’s side, his portfolio includes business, tax, political, and foreign policy matters.

      Last month his lawyers outlined a plan under which they said Kushner would avoid any possibility that his White House work would overlap with his business interests.

      The plan didn’t have much detail. But newly released documents and statements from the White House are making the picture clearer: Kushner is keeping parts of his family business.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        This is my shocked face.

    • shaar dula

      did you hear about the talks hillary gave to goldman’s sack? can you believe it?

      • Malaclypse

        better yet, remember when the Attorney General recused themselves for meeting with the spouse of the person under investigation after having met briefly at the airport?

      • Persistent Demme

        Yeah, let’s go on and on about it until we do some serious damage.

    • cmd resistor

      Wow, big surprise.

    • Serai 1

      A near-constant presence by Trump’s side

      Except on weekends.

  • RC

    alright you people. I have go to work. I want Sessions Shit canned by the time I get home!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      But you told us to clean the garage today!!! And we’ve got hockey practice tonight!!! Soooooo unfair!

      *slams door to bedroom, cranks up Black Sabbath *

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      But I was going to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!

      :::pout:::

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Re: Unionized Feds fighting Trump Administration:

    “The IRS collects 93 percent of our nation’s revenue,” Reardon said.
    “You cannot increase defense spending and cut IRS funding at the same time. It does not add up.”

    It does if you take an ax to the workforce and agency programs.

    “Remember, the $54 billion cut proposed by the administration is not savings for the taxpayer: It simply shifts the money, dollar-for-dollar, to an increase in military spending,” Reardon said. “These across-the-board cuts do not reduce the deficit and are so deep as to make government less efficient, not more.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f173070ea421ea968b634ce39d5bec28fa707876e5962f85eeb116498e83ce9f.gif

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Miller was Sessions’ Mouth of Sauron before the election. Would he flip for immunity or a short sentence in Club Fed? He doesnt seem like a tough guy, for all that dead eyed Goebbels Baby look.

    • mightysprout

      World’s most punchable face at the moment.

      • Trey Okc

        Hey, Stevie? Ted Cruz called. He wants his title back.

  • bookish

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-fish-called-bannon_us_58b727a2e4b0ddf6542462cb

    Bannon seems to believes in everything and nothing; one moment an economic libertarian, the next a white nationalist, then a worldwide conspiracy guy but ultimately, perhaps just someone who enjoys the rush of having power, like so many within the Beltway. Yet as Matthew Yglesias notes at Vox, “just because Bannon is talking nonsense doesn’t mean he isn’t good at it… Trump isn’t popular, but he won. And to say that Bannon is kind of a faker — it’s entirely vacuous to rant against ‘the establishment’ while sitting in the West Wing of the White House celebrating a stock market boom — isn’t to say that he can’t do harm.”

    Incompetent and ignorant or not, they can still do a lot of damage. In the movie A Fish Called Wanda, Otto’s character is a comic idiot, but he still wreaks havoc with stupid brute force. Bannon and his boss may not yet have mastered the ins and outs of legislative and political wrangling and it’s possible they never will. But they have time to learn and seem to possess little compunction about stomping on the rules — formal and otherwise — essential to a democracy. That’s a dangerous combination.

    • TakingAmes

      The central tenet of Buddhism is not, “Every man for himself.” Asshooooooooooooole!

  • PubOption

    Sessions will have to change his middle name to Malregard.

    • TakingAmes

      If I had been drinking tea, I’d be cleaning it off my keyboard right about now.

  • dluch

    surprised Palin didn’t see all this from her porch…

    • shaar dula

      she was traveling most of the election season. and when sessions spoke to the russians for the third time she was in the loo which only has north side windows.

      • LucindathePook

        Ixnay on the oolay, before Trumpie hears about it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Hah, you beat me to it. See above.

  • monoglot

    Okay, even Manchin is now saying Sessions should resign.

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, how nice of him to occasionally remember which party he’s a part of.

      • TakingAmes

        And which country he lives in and is sworn to protect.

  • Marceline

    I have this image of Obama at the Canadian border being met by Justin Trudeau under cover of the dark night. Obama hands him all the intel and says, “I’ve got to get back to DC.”

    Justin’s face crumbles into a mask of concern. “Don’t go back. Stay here in Canada. We’ll make up the embassy for you. Sophie is so worried about Michelle and I’m not ready to….” He trails off and whispers. “Restez ici. S’il vous plait.”

    Obama clasps Justin’s hand in a grip of friendship and looks into his eyes just a little too long. Memorizing his friend’s face. “I can’t. I need to get these files to Angela Merkel.” With that he turns and disappears into the night.

    As Justin looks to where his old friend stood only moments ago he says. “Angela Merkel. It’s always goddamn Merkle.”

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Just spewed tea on new tablet.

    • shaar dula

      i need a cigarette.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      As Barack slipped back across the border, the late winter sun hung for most of the day on a far coast. A fading, once beautiful woman gazed wistfully from her porch.

      “All I could ever do was see them,” she muses to herself. “They never actually talked to me.”

    • Serai 1
      • Marceline

        I’m already a ficcer. No lie. I’m thinking about fleshing this out into a a real story and posting it on Livejournal or something.

        • Serai 1

          I would be very happy to read it if you did. I’d pimp it for you, too, no problem. :)

    • Courser_Resistance

      Fucking awesome, Marceline. Love it. I can close my eyes and see it.

    • TakingAmes

      Aaaand, you win the internet today.

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    I told the Easter Bunny that while it’s perfectly okay to push gender norms, he should probably dial back on the eyeshadow a little when he’s appearing at the White House. It ain’t no party, it ain’t no disco.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It ain’t no fooling around? Damn…

      • Serai 1

        To be fair, it ain’t the Mud Club or CBGB, so…

        • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

          I ain’t got time for that, now.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            Thank you! Now I know which album will be playing in my head as I try to sleep….

  • Tacoclamgenda

    To Whomever posted the Golden Girls/Trump, Putin, Pence video below:. May all your beverages today teeter on the verge of spilling. I STILL have that tune in my head.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Serai 1

    Please don’t forget about little Marco Rubio and his eviction from his main office in Tampa BECAUSE OF THE DEMONSTRATIONS TAKING PLACE EVERY WEEK.

    This is a BIG THING because it gives us tangible proof that protesting brings about results! We need that!

  • Bitter Scribe

    Man, what the FUCK is it to those people whether gay people get spousal benefits?

    I mean, really? That’s what Jesus wants you to do? Go around picking on people and making their lives as complicated and miserable as you possibly can, out of sheer hatred?

    • Courser_Resistance

      Because those benefits are paid for by taxpayer dollars, which means they feel they have the right to tell those who get those benefits exactly how they are expected to live. Basically, “If I’m paying, I get to say how it’s spent and no icky gheys get squat from me”

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Do they even think about what happens when they go down that road? No Ghey Munniez for your six-lane suburban bypass. No BlahBux for your inaccurate history classes which teach that teh blahs are blah because God thought Ham was an actual ham and put him in the oven.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Sadly, they think all gheys and blahs are lazy, good for nothing deadbeats that don’t contribute ANYTHING near what the True Blue ‘Merkins do. Basically, they think that anything anyone else gets is literally taking food out of their kids’ mouths. You can’t educate those types. (Of course, THEY have no job ‘cuz the Libtards killed all the dumbass, brute-labor jobs, so they’re the downtrodden and we MUST support them cuz, again, they’re the only True Blue ‘Merkins who are entitled to everything. Until they get their payout, no one else gets squat.)

      • Sitkajo

        Actually benefits are paid for by deductions from the employee’s pay check. So if an employee can’t obtain the benefits (such as insurance for a dependent), it means, legally, that the employee worked for something which they cannot actually obtain.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Not having the Easter Bunny visit the Whitehouse sounds like a good idea. “Big game hunting” wimps, Qusay and Uday are apt to shoot it.

    • LucindathePook

      But hanging with Melania would be such a blast.

    • Just thinking of him entertaining children and a furry gives me the willies.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I’ll bet their is a copy of the Sessions report underneath the spare tire on Air Force One, and inside the Door Panel of Marine One.

    • Scrofula

      Interesting question–they have spare tires for 747s? Like, a compact in the back by the pretzel tray, where Barry kept a pack of KOOLs?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        He smokes Newports IIRC.

  • John Lo

    This Insane Trump crew are giving Laural and Hardy a run for their money

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I think he is closest to Bud Abbot, he’s genuinely mean, in addition to being arrogant and stupid. Bud Abbot in charge of the Keystone Kops.

  • boredcatlady

    This is 100% my favorite headline today. Well done!

  • Sitkajo

    Its about time to cue Sean Spicer for a “no daylight between us” remark. Then comes the shiv in the back…

  • Boscoe

    Oh c’mon, Trump isn’t gonna kill the Easter egg roll… he’s just going to move it to Mar A Lago and charge each kid $200k.

  • Because I’ve apparently become Wonkette’s defacto gossip columnist…

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4272848/Pamela-Anderson-grumpy-hours-Julian-Assange.html

    As for why poor Pammy is so “grumpy”, the obvious guess would be “because she has to spend time with Assange, duh!” But it seems like ol’ Jullian might be a bit grumpy too. You see, it looks like mommy might be on the verge of kicking Jules out of her basement (and just when it looks like he got his “bachelor pad” set up too)

  • You made a mistake there Dominic. You wrote “kill” instead of “molest”

    • Nope, he’ll kill the Easter Bunbun and blame it on KKKillary

  • RugzYaBurnt

    Awwwwww Wonkett!!! Tapirs are my favorite! How did you know?!?!
    (They also have prehensile penises that they can use to scratch themselves on the shoulders & I am not even joking right now).

Previous articleRemembering Five Years Of Dead Breitbart JUST KIDDING! Remembering Five Years Of ME!
Next article‘Obama People’ Hid Trump Russia Intel Under Couch Cushions, Behind Fridge, Just EVERYWHERE