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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the stories we may be talking about today.

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  • Nounverb911
    • Ωbjectifier

      Officer in a control tower. No good can come of this.

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        A right cunt as well. He didn’t overfly the tower, and they normally come up initial at 350 knots on a boring day. Nothing to spill valuable coffee over.

  • Nounverb911

    I’m dreaming of a black president,
    Just like the one we used to have….

    .
    .
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b145799c144877f8e1d7159b0ad3211c8d4b1f2b42c1232f7d344596b98a5204.jpg

  • geoffalnutt

    Bannon, Bannon, Bannon, Bannon…..

  • Gayer Than Thou

    This is my new most annoying thing:
    Me: I didn’t watch the State of the Union address. I watched something else.
    Friend 1: I didn’t watch TV at all.
    Friend 2: I don’t even own a TV.
    Friend 3: I not only didn’t watch the State of the Union on the TV I would never watch because I don’t own one, I haven’t owned a TV in 20 years.
    Friend 4: I haven’t owned a TV in 30 years, and I don’t use any electricity.
    Friend 5: I haven’t used electricity in 20 years.
    And so forth.

    • Crystalclear12

      I watched 30 seconds then hit my smug asshole limit for the day.

      • PubOption

        I managed 15 or 20 minutes, decided that he was delivering his campaign speech, as rewritten by someone with a much better command of English.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Well I didn’t watch any of it. Oh, wait…

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I watched a couple minutes of it on NHK Network. Somehow it was even worse when bookended by those cute Japanese lady anchorpersons. :(

      • arglebargle

        I made it to the first “Make America Great Again”. Then the wife told me from the bedroom to quit yelling at the TV, so I did. She was right. Snuggling with her was much better.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I agree. Snuggling with your wife is much better. Wait…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What is this electricity of which Thou speakest?

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        Rubbest thou two sticks together. No, that’s fire. Rubbest thou two cats together!

        • Gayer Than Thou

          No, that’s how the emergency room was invented.

          • Historicat

            It depends on who is rubbing what where …

    • therblig

      You still have friends? How quaint. I gave that up in 1970.

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        I gave up a whole shitload of them who were fun and exciting in our thirties, and are now in our sixties a bunch of boring Republican asswipes.

        • teele

          How does that happen? It has been a real bucket of cold water for me, and not in a good way.

          • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

            Helps to live on the eastern side of the Atlantic…

        • Gosala

          I’m boring and probably an ass wipe.

          So, one out of three.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I spent last night drawing petroglyphs on my cave walls.

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        I kinda hungry. Any guano on those walls?

        • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

          Better yet, blue foots.

      • Marion in Savannah

        You have a cave? LUXURY!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      As a non-TV-owning macrobiotic vegan politically woke fully committed internationally connected 24-hour race class sexuality and gender justice warrior, I take issue with your triggering judgments.

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      We watched the last night of fasching silliness from Mainz last night. Their assessment of Trump’s speech is a lot closer to home than CNN’s.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Fasching >> Fascist.

        • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

          Genau.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      Primitive purity one-upsmanship is the worst.

    • I don’t have a home, I sleep IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER
      https://media.giphy.com/media/3EQKkh7G8FdYc/giphy.gif

    • Longstreet63

      On the other hand, I get letters from the electric company politely pointing out that I use more electricity than all my neighbors. (First time home buyer note: cathedral ceilings look awesome but you can’t heat the rooms so equipped.)
      At least my neighbors get letters praising them for not being me…

      • Paul

        Got any ceiling fans? Push that warm air down. Reverse the spin direction in the summer to pull the cool air upwards off the floor.

        They really do work.

        • Longstreet63

          I have a 55-inch and a 70 inch in the space. Not sure there’s room for more… 16-feet is a long way to push air against physics, I guess.

          • Paul

            Ever hear of Big Ass Fans? Pricey but supposedly functional.

            https://www.haikuhome.com/

          • Longstreet63

            Thanks! They do have some 84-inchers with which I will quickly save their thousand dollar purchase price.
            Finally, girls will like me!

          • Paul

            Of course they will. Be sure to inform them “Big Ass” doesn’t mean they are manufactured by Trump.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    This man is such a Martian twat that we seriously need new obscenities to describe him.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    O/T: Just read Dominic’s mini bio and I see he’s not actually supposed to be getting us coffee. He is, however, supposed to be getting us Chinese food. Well, where is it?

    • Shanzgood

      Oh! I’ll trade you my crab rangoons for your spring rolls!

      • BadKitty904

        Dibs on the ribs!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Obligatory stupid physics joke: what soup is 1 meter by 1 meter by 1 meter?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        No one told me there would be math!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Hitler?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        A soup that occupies 1 cubic meter of space? Or perhaps cream of celery.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Wonton. I’ll be here all week.

        • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

          Wonton disregard…

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Well that tears it. We’re going to dock your Exposure Dollars.

    • dslindc

      But I want tacos!

  • Nounverb911
  • memzilla Ω

    My orange juice carton had a better summary of Dolt 45’s speech than CNN did:
    “Lots of pulp.”

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      “Similar color to pee.”

    • arglebargle

      lot’s of “Fiction”, also too.

      • Longstreet63

        Say “Make America Great” again!

  • Nounverb911
  • Belasaurius

    Kudos to those who watched the shit parade, alas I found anything better to do

    • Nounverb911

      I watched the live blog, it was a lot funnier.

    • Longstreet63

      I watched a DVD of “Victor, Victoria” and was way happier than any of you Trump watchers…

      • Gayer Than Thou

        That is always the better choice.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        But which bathroom did s/he use?

        • Longstreet63

          There was only one, but it was used repeatedly. Incidentally, I was a bit surprised at the amount of Jazz Age Showgirl Background Nudity. Tells you how good a film is when you remember the choreography but not the naked showgirls.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I’ve never seen it. Is it as good as “Glen or Glenda?”

        • Marion in Savannah

          Now THERE’S a classic!

        • Longstreet63

          Seriously, you’ve never seen it? Get thee to your stream of choice…so to speak. For Robert Preston and gay Alex Karras if not the rest of it.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I watched “Keanu” on HBO Go. Obviously a better choice.

        • Longstreet63

          no.
          No, it was not.

    • Bill D. Burger

      My oldest son replied, when I asked if he was going to watch: “I’d rather slam my penis in a car door.”
      We raised that boy right!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Mmm… I tried it. Not as much fun as it sounds. And, ironically, the speech was on the TV in the waiting area of the urgent care. #fail

    • dlemex

      Here it was the last night of carnival. Drinking and watching floats with half-naked people dancing. And I knew everyone here would tell me all I needed to know.

    • BadKitty904

      I’ve heard Trump lie before. Saw no need to listen to it again.

  • bookish

    That brings us to Moscow itself.

    On December 18, 2018, Russia Today, a media outlet controlled by the Kremlin, reported that “a campaign calling for the independence of California from the United States has opened an ‘embassy’ in Moscow. The movement, Yes California, is hoping for a ‘Calexit’ break from the US. Speaking at a press conference on Sunday, Louis Marinelli, leader of the movement, said the embassy will not deal with diplomatic issues, but will act as more of a cultural center that will educate Russians about California’s history, boost trade ties and promote tourism.”

    How does a fledgling secession movement with little grassroots support afford a Moscow “embassy”? Snopes says a group funded by the Kremlin is letting them use the space for free.

    • Chadwells

      His wife is Russian and caught up in a visa dispute…from what I read about it. Meh…means nothing. It’ll never happen. Secession I mean.

    • Brendan_M

      Russia Today can report from the future?!?

      • FlownΩver

        Dolt 45 gave them the keys to the new DARPA time machine.

        • Brendan_M

          I think that Trump is now president proves that time travel isn’t real. Someone would have gone back in time and, I don’t know, cut off Anthony Weiner’s frequently-photographed dong, ensuring a Clinton victory.

  • Nounverb911
    • cmd resistor

      Ok, dragging that poor woman in, what, 2 weeks after her husband was killed while he was too busy to even sit in the situation room, was a really low moment for me. Yet everyone keeps talking about how “emotional” it was (to see her stand there exploited by these assholes?). And his stupid line about the husband looking down from heaven and smiling at the length of the ovation, well, there are just no words.

  • LarryHoudini

    Republican spin: “Sure he’s been kind of crazy since he got into office, but he read off the teleprompter last night so now you must agree to meet us halfway on everything he proposes, obstructionist assholes.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Salon has one of the best assessments of the speech. It’s not today’s across-cable-news’ swooning over a robotic reading off a teleprompter:

    [WEDNESDAY, MAR 1, 2017 05:00 AM EST

    Mr. Trump visits the Capitol: Same old lies in a terrifying new context

    It was the usual collection of propaganda falsehoods — but delivered to the actual Congress by the actual president
    GARY LEGUM

    On Tuesday night, President Donald Trump stood in front of a joint session of Congress, read a speech off a teleprompter with little trouble, and walked back out of the room without tripping over his own exceptionally long necktie. He cleared the bar only because it is set so low for him that one would need a team of archaeologists to dig it up.

    The speech itself was the usual mixture of poison and BS to which we have grown sadly accustomed. By now the only people who must watch a Trump speech with even a vague glimmer of a hope that he will start acting “presidential” – that he will finally achieve that long-hoped-for “pivot” – must be the cable pundits and columnists who have airtime and column inches to fill. The rest of us have long since moved on if we know what’s good for us.
    ————————–
    Because inside that overripe cantaloupe of a head, Donald Trump’s world remains a frightening place detached from reality with the sheerness and severity of a sawed-off tree limb.
    ————————–
    As with almost every Trump speech, almost every single word was a lie, including the articles.
    ————————–
    (T)hat was Trump on Tuesday night in his first joint speech to Congress, as it has been since he first announced his run for the presidency. Flat-out lying about the nation’s problems, locked into the hard-right dogma that persists in his administration despite being knocked down by reality time and time again, with a smirk on his face and his chin upturned in such a way that he resembles no one so much as Toad from the Frog and Toad children’s books, gaslighting this nation of suckers one more time. ]

    http://www.salon.com/2017/03/01/mr-trump-visits-the-capitol-same-old-lies-in-a-terrifying-new-context/

    • Gayer Than Thou

      OK, but I love Frog and Toad. Those amphibious crypto-queers spoke to me as a child.

    • cmd resistor

      Nice. When anyone even discusses the speech and what he says like he is a semi-serious person, I want to throw up. Well, every time I hear the words “President Trump” I want to throw up.

  • Nounverb911
    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      God I love Keith.

    • NastyBossetti

      “Bad read of a bland speech” is as succinct and true an assessment as I have seen yet.

      • cmd resistor

        Hmm, maybe bad lip reading could take it on.

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      All the speech, but none of the codpiece.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        When is Donnie going to address the “codpiece gap?”

  • Crystalclear12

    You know they did a real good job of hiding the shock collar that keeps him on topic.

    • shastakoala

      I was marveling at how well his Xanax IV was concealed.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Suppository, probably.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Reading the reviews this morning, about how Twitler has “hit the reset button” and has “found a new, Presidential tone” made me want to do damage to my expensive monitor.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      They’ve been dying to use that meme

    • Crystalclear12

      Oh, oh did they use “pivot”? I am so close to bingo.

    • OneYieldRegular

      The pivot has finally arrived. Unfortunately, like a rusted weather vane, it’s now stuck forever pointing in the same goddam direction.

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      Always use an old monitor for Wonkette.

    • cmd resistor

      Truly, indeed.

  • Belasaurius

    he prompter read good

  • MamaBrown

    the widespread praise of Donald’s “speech” reminds me of nothing so much as the American Idol judges lavishing praise on one of their contestants for managing to stay in tune for the ENTIRE SONG.

  • Crystalclear12

    Do you think he can read those words off the teleprompter or is there an earwig with a guy saying “just repeat everything I say”?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      If the first thing he said was “just repeat everything I say” I wouldn’t have been surprised.

    • teele

      I think he was reading, and it was painful to listen to it, as it was obviously a very difficult task for him.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “The time for trivial battles is behind us.”

    Until, oh, I don’t know, I’d say, noon today at the latest?

    • Werewolf

      Colbert: “So suck it, Nordstrom’s!”

  • anwisok
  • Chadwells

    Slightly heartened that the overall response to that idiotic stump speech was…meh.

    • mackafritz

      He has a very low bar.

      • teele

        Let’s give a gold star to the little boy who didn’t shit on the carpet during mama’s bridge game THIS time. Aren’t we oh,so very proud of him! But maybe we’d better keep the paper towels and Lysol handy just in case…

    • cmd resistor

      I don’t know — I’ve heard a bunch of idiots talking about how wonderful, presidential, unifying blah blah. I thought it was awful.

      • Chadwells

        Yeah…I see those reports too, but they are coming from the typical Dampnut dick sucks. We’ll see. There is some new leaked audio…and I’m sure he’ll do some idiot impetuous thing to prove he’s still an idiot asshole.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The New Yorker:
    JOHN CASSIDY
    DON’T BE FOOLED, DONALD TRUMP DIDN’T PIVOT
    By John Cassidy 03:47 A.M. 3/1/17:
    The instant reviews of President Donald Trump’s speech to Congress on Tuesday night are in, and some of them are raves. Trump had scarcely left the House chamber when Fox News’s Chris Wallace credited him with reinventing the art of giving speeches to joint sessions of Congress. “I feel like, tonight, Donald Trump became the President of the United States,” Wallace opined.

    As Will Wilkinson, the policy analyst and blogger, pointed out during the speech, “The point of Trump’s lies is to create a widespread sense that an open, pluralistic, multicultural society is dangerous.” To justify his many illiberal proposals, as well as his authoritarian instincts, Trump needs to persuade people that everything is going to hell, and that only he can save things. Nowhere in his speech did he depart from this doleful and deceptive script.

    Absent from Trump’s discussion of these issues was any proper explanation of how any of his proposals would be paid for. He did say his trillion-dollar infrastructure plan would be “financed through both public and private capital,” but he didn’t provide any details, and the words “budget deficit” didn’t once cross his lips.

    Nor did he mention Russia or climate change or the robust job growth he inherited. His only use of the word “environment” came in reference to the violent crime wave that he falsely claims is sweeping the nation. “We want all Americans to succeed,” he said, “but that can’t happen in an environment of lawless chaos.”

    To the political pros, these omissions provided more evidence that Trump might be learning on the job. But the moment that really stood out for them was the tribute Trump paid to William (Ryan) Owens, the Navy seal who was killed in the first counterterrorism attack Trump authorized as President, a raid on an Al Qaeda target in Yemen. After pointing out Owens’s widow, Carryn, who was sitting in the spectators’ gallery, Trump claimed that the raid had been a success, and, reading from the teleprompter, he added, “Ryan’s legacy is etched into eternity. Thank you.” Then, after the audience had delivered a lengthy standing ovation for Carryn, Trump ad-libbed, “And Ryan is looking down right now. You know that. And he’s very happy, because I think he just broke a record.”

    It is safe to assume that most of the viewers watching Trump’s speech didn’t know that Owens’s father has demanded an investigation into the mission that led to his son’s death, or that he refused to meet with the President at Dover Air Force Base when his son’s body was returned to the United States. Perhaps one of the talking heads pointed this out in the post-speech commentary. If they did, I missed it.

    http://www.newyorker.com/news/john-cassidy/dont-be-fooled-donald-trump-didnt-pivot

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      No competition. Nobody yelled “You lie” at him.

      I guess that much was obvious.

      • Bill D. Burger

        I wanted someone to stand up and shout, “Show us your tits.”

        • Oblios_Cap

          I, for one, did a facepalm when I heard Matthew’s utterance referenced above.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        A litle OT, but a recurring fantasy I have is if Obama had gotten all Samuel L. Jackson at that moment, and said “Who the FUCK said that?”

    • FlownΩver

      TL; read anyway.

  • dslindc
    • OneYieldRegular

      Q: What are the mathematical odds governing the amount of time until one unwittingly shakes hands with someone who has shaken hands with Trump?
      A: There’s not enough Purell in the world.

      • LucindathePook

        Oh, goddess, I shook hands with Howard Dean………
        I’ll bet…….at some point…….

    • Bill D. Burger

      Or at the least, a reach around.

  • Parakeetist

    The kitten should be president.

  • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

    My theory about Trump’s rageless speech was that someone put his balls in a twitch before sending him out before the cameras.

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      How did they find them?

    • puredog

      His pre-speech fluffer?

  • dslindc

    Did “President” Cheeto announce that he’s giving up pussy grabbing for Lent?

    • MynameisBlarney

      He’s probably asking who the fuck Lent is.

    • shastakoala

      If someone lent him a nominal amount of decency.

    • FlownΩver

      He probably asked Kushner whether Lent was one of those Jewish holidays.

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      Well, he bought Melania’s fair and square, but occasionally Ivanka’s is probably lent.

  • bookish

    http://www.salon.com/2017/02/28/jared-kushner-who-has-no-foreign-policy-experience-is-trumps-foreign-policy-power-broker/
    After reports that both Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Secretary of Homeland Security John Kelly have been sidelined in President Donald Trump’s foreign policy-making, it is now coming out that the real power in the Oval Office may be th president’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner.

    Kushner joined Tillerson during a meeting with Mexican foreign minister Luis Videgaray, when Tillerson discussed his plans for a trip to Mexico with President Trump, and before Tillerson took a trip to the German city of Bonn for a meeting of G20 leaders, according to Vanity Fair. Last weekend, Tillerson dined outside of the security perimeter while Trump ate his meal with Kushner, and Kushner was regularly seen “hovering over the shoulder of Tillerson” like a “shadow secretary of state.”

    Kushner’s influence is so great, and Tillerson’s by comparison so minimal, that the Secretary of State didn’t even find out that Trump was reconsidering his position on a two-state solution in the Israeli-Palestinian crisis until a press conference in which Netanyahu mentioned both Trump and Kushner.

    http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/02/jared-kushner-consolidate-white-house-power

    https://www.bisnow.com/new-york/news/commercial-real-estate/jared-kushner-keeping-some-of-his-cre-holdings-71520

    http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2017/02/trump_son-in-law_kushner_keeping_some_investments.html

    • cmd resistor

      This does not surprise me. I’ve been not liking or trusting that guy for a while now.

    • FlownΩver

      Well, it’s understandable. “We finally got somebody smart in the family. Thanks, Ivanka.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    SSDD …. Seen this same shit show many, many times before.

    http://cloudfront.mediamatters.org/static/uploader/image/2016/06/23/trumppivot.png

  • Nounverb911
  • MynameisBlarney
    • eyelashviper

      thanks, some really fine ones, am posting them elsewhere.

      • MynameisBlarney

        You’re welcome.

  • Nounverb911
    • cmd resistor

      Really.

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        Fuck off Van, and take Anderson with you.

    • Red Bird Ω

      He’s trying to outsmart them.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      Wilson, like most of those depraved GOPers, couldn’t find the truth in a field full of truths in truth mating season.

    • BadKitty904

      YOU LIE, Joe!!1!

  • Designated Survivor is back tonight! Fantasy land abounds!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • bookish

    No matter how one dresses it up or excuses it, Ivanka is still shilling for the fascist.

    https://www.axios.com/ivankas-role-in-trumps-speech-2292353919.html

    A senior administration official emails: “The speech was all [Stephen] Miller, but Ivanka worked hard on it with him on many of the parts, especially affirming that the president’s desire to have an uplifting and aspirational speech was right. …

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/321754-ivanka-trump-pushed-for-mentions-of-paid-family-leave-environmental

    • eyelashviper

      The attire of Ivanka and Melon was a bit over the top, were they headed to some soiree to sell their overpriced junk?

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      I really cannot stand to look at those sick, twisted fucks.

    • Red Bird Ω

      White Supremacist gotta stick together.

    • Red Bird Ω

      “Notice the focus on women’s health. It was Hope [Hicks]’s idea to add the upfront line about how ‘we are a country that stands united in condemning hate and evil in all of its very ugly forms.’
      YOU LIE!!!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Sorry, but that mountain of lies and bullshit read off a teleprompter was not a pivot and suddenly he’s ~swoon~ “presidential”. It was the same old shit show of lies, his usual scam, nothing new and a marketing ploy with the highlight a widow used as a prop.

    http://crooksandliars.com/files/primary_image/16/07/trump-secures-gop-nomination-cartoon-morin_pivot.jpg

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      Yeah, if it’s a pivot, lets see him keep it up for a year or two.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        It won’t last till the weekend.

  • Nounverb911
    • UnsaltedSinner

      I’m just about ready to give up on 99% of the American media once and for all. It seems they’ll never stop being amazed and delighted whenever it turns out that a Republican president can read. It basically gives Trump a form of immunity: Whenever he feels the heat from the media is getting uncomfortable, he can just give a scripted speech, and suddenly even “liberal” reporters will be tripping over each other in their eagerness to tell us that he has been washed in the blood of the lamb and is a new and changed man. And I’m sure these same reporters will never stop complaining that Democrats are “over-prepared” and use too many long and difficult words.

  • BadKitty904

    6.) House Republicans are now officially and publicly collaborating in treason.

    • I believe it is now the primary plank of the platform

      • Oblios_Cap

        It always has been.

      • BadKitty904

        It has to be. The only other option would be admitting they were wrong and Republicans would MUCH rather betray our nation that do that.

  • Nounverb911
    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      No Donald, that’s not what Bully Pulpit means.

    • eyelashviper

      If McTurdle were fast enough, he could have bitten that tiny finger off, and spit it out on the floor…

    • Bill D. Burger

      Pull my tiny finger, you old post turtle. HAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAA!

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      Good. Trump and the GOP suddenly behaving rationally would actually be a real threat.

    • cmd resistor

      So this morning CNN people said Pence was making the rounds of the morning shows but had declined their invitation to appear. Then they had that horrid Scaramucci guy on.

      • thewalkindude

        Can he do the Fandango?

        • Bebecca

          I’m sitting at work trying not to laugh out loud at your comment.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So he can read. Big deal. What bag of fresh, flaming hell will he stomp all over today?

    • It’s still early, give it time.

    • I can read real good. I can haz presidency now?

    • BadKitty904

      Well, he’s already pissed all over America’s veterans. Maybe widows and orphans are up next?

    • Doug Langley

      I still say someone was feeding him the speech over an earpiece.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        It would explain his speech patterns.
        ‘All right, Mr President, repeat after me.’
        ‘Repeat after me.’
        ‘*sigh*’

  • eyelashviper

    Just read the thread from last night here at Wonkworld, and thanks to all of you for making me laugh, for giving me hope and inspiration to go on another day in this ever increasing Shitstorm from the WH.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Longstreet63

    I thought last nights special SNL ran a bit long, but Alec Baldwin has still got it…

  • eyelashviper

    The looks on the faces of the Generals last night was something else..Lil Donnie is so stupid and will continue to lay blame on them when things go wrong, and they don’t forget, and they have drones.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Rick Hill

      “Gawd, this guy is so full of shti. Lawd, give me the strength to endure until he is removed by congress…”

  • Vorhees

    “Where can I get away from this creepy-assed camera on a stick following me everywhere?”

  • JD Mulvey

    Alexandra Petri (aka Wapo’s in-house Wonkette):
    “He delivered a wonderful speech… He did not make lip-farts into the microphone, use the word “pussy” or mock a reporter, disabled or otherwise. He did not halt mid-speech to level a withering aside at Rosie O’Donnell.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2017/03/01/great-news-president-trump-did-not-bite-any-bats-in-half-during-his-address-to-congress/

    • cmd resistor

      That was a work of art.

  • Chadwells

    We are seeing these Pundits jizz all over themselves because of Dampnut’s tone last night….this same phenomena happens every time Pence opens his shit filled jerkoff mouth. He uses his radio voice and everyone goes gooey eyed and doesn’t even know what he is actually saying is total evil. It’s lunacy.

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      Chastity belts for all!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Us no who I really can’t stand? Hugh Fucking Hewitt.

    • Me not sure

      He twisted more than a pretzel maker with the shakes during this past year.

  • Tio_Doidinho

    Somebody was offering $50 on the Twitter machine to any Dem congressperson who yelled “NYET!” at Donald.

    Shit, I would have paid much more for that experience.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I just don’t get these people that think trump is in any way a competent person and will now start behaving precedential. Have they not been paying attention for the last two years?

    • Bec Jenn

      TBH, the shitgibbon has been unhinged for a long, long time now. Lordy, He was was a real douche in the 80-90’s; just look at “Home Alone 2”.

  • Apple Scruff

    Listening to NPR, and they’re saying how his tone last night was so very different than his everyday tone and they pondered out loud (this is verbatim) “Will the real Donald Trump please stand up?”

    HAVE THEY NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS???

    • Beautiful Soup

      MORE LIKE 30 YEARS!!!

      • Apple Scruff

        I can’t believe any of these people are taking him at his word on anything he says! They’re actually discussing the “path to citizenship” as if he is serious.

        This is why we hate the media as much as the Trumpkins hate the media!

        • Gosala

          But we still like wonkette, don’t we?

          * stifles a tear at the thought that we don’t like wonkette anymore*

        • ziggywiggy

          The NY Daily News had a big 2 page spread saying Now this is how a President acts! It’s ridiculous how desperately the media wants him to act like a grown up.

          • Jamoche

            He pulled it together the way an abuser does when there’s someone around whose opinion he cares about, so you sound like an ungrateful brat when you try to tell people what he’s really like.

        • Pisto75666

          First time attempting to post a tweet without being on Twitter, hope this works. Bear with me here. But based on this tweet, I can believe it.

          https://twitter.com/nolanwebb1976/status/836930833521000448

    • The Witch of Endor

      That is so fucking massively disheartening.

      • Apple Scruff

        Every so often throughout the election, he would do one of these on-message teleprompter speeches, which would be followed by the inevitable “Is Donald Trump Presidential, now?” And EVERY FUCKING TIME he’d be back to his old, dickish, bigoted self within 24 hours.

        I’m just like… I cannot take this… fuck you Marty Moss-Coane.

        • eka

          npr feels attacked for being too liberal and they’re overcompensating now. the republicans are likely to take their federal funding away anyway, so why not just report honestly instead of trying to distort reality to please conservatives?

          • I posted this elsewhere, but I’m taking my funding away from NPR as they keep airing Sebastian Gorka.

    • Rick Hill

      We’re they going for pointing out that he is duplicitous?

    • Hardly Ideal

      When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      Two years? Try thirty, at least. He’s always been a greedy, self-serving, gold-toned, misogynistic dirt-bag.

  • chortlingdingo
  • shivaskeeper

    Regarding Dan Coats and the Army Field manual, FM 2-22.3 Human Intelligence Collector Operations, published in Sep 2006, torture is not condoned in it.

    HUMINT people know torture does not work.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    So we all witness almost five weeks of incompetence, repression, fascism, treason, incoherence, ignorance and stupidity from Trump and his entire administration, yet somehow all of that is forgotten because he managed to read a speech off a teleprompter (thought those were bad, btw) without sounding like a complete raving idiot? And now he is getting sloppy tongue baths from much of the media?

    We are well and truly fucked, people.

    • Leliel

      It ain’t forgotten by all, just the people who wanted to.

      Only those sorts watch a STOU to be convinced, it has been shown statistically.

    • Bill Slider

      Ah, yes, Donald Trump, the voice of reason, grape KoolAid for the media.

  • Chadwells

    Now this cock eating moron likes the Faux News of CNN because a poll favors the moron in charge. Awesome. GTFOH

    “Spicer cites CNN poll on Drumpf speech despite ‘fake news’ feud”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/321753-spicer-touts-cnn-poll-amid-trump-feud

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      It’s like training a puppy – punish every infraction, praise every instance of acceptable behaviour.
      Think CNN will roll over and want its belly scratched?

      • TakingAmes

        3… 2…1…

  • Phoenixdoglover

    A Short History of US Presidents

    2009: President Barack Obama gives a speech using a teleprompter. People question whether he has the capability to be President.

    2017: Presidential aspirant Donald Drumpf uses a teleprompter and people praise him for his ascendancy to the rare atmosphere of President.

    • TakingAmes

      Well, I mean… lower expectations and all. We didn’t actually think he could read.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        We still don’t know if he can. Maybe the teleprompter was in big big letters and spelled phonetically.

  • Chadwells

    I have a great distaste for Chuck Schumer…but I have got to hi-5 him for this one. Nailed it, hombre!

    “Schumer tries to throw cold water on Drumpf’s rave reviews”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/trump-speech-congress-chuck-schumer-235557

  • Doug Langley

    “My fellow Americans turn left I won bigly with the yugest Electoral College ever smile confidently and we will make America great again wait for applause . . .”

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    I can’t believe anyone with an IQ above room temperature fell for that bullshit. Wtf Van? Thought you were smarter than that. Psychopaths are pretty good at faking sincerity, and Donnie only had to keep it up for a couple of minutes. John Wayne Gacy was apparently a pretty good birthday clown, but he still ended up with about thirty corpses in his fucking crawlspace.

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/836816484919881728

    • Rick Hill

      Even trump’s sincerity is fake as hell.

      • Doug Langley

        M*A*S*H: “Sincerity? I can fake that!”

    • HazooToo

      I had to share your comment. It’s too good.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Are we back to “everything is terrible”? Were we ever out of it?

    • Rick Hill

      Still terrible but some asshat spray painted it with gold colored paint last night so it’s all better, now.

  • FZsdaughter

    Putin is teaching them well. Soon you’ll have a nice fat kompromat file if you even think about investigations.

  • Me not sure

    Several network talking heads said that the Democrats blew it by putting on Governor Beshear instead of an “up and comer” in the party. They don’t get it. Beshear was chosen to appeal to voters in the South and Midwest as well as older voters, and to stress the viabilty of the ACA if properly implemented, and he came through. There will be a time nearer to the 2020 elections for potential candidates.

    • Sister Suffragette

      Agreed — I thought it was the perfect response from the Dems (can’t even believe I’m saying that!), and I though Beshear did a great job. And having people sitting behind him helped make the response much less stiff than usual.

    • Jamoche

      And if they had, they’d be dissed for not “reaching out to the Red voters”

      • Me not sure

        Exactly. Beshear is the kind of politician who won’t cause red staters to automatically shut off the teevee. This was not aimed at the choir.

  • BadKitty904
  • Edith Prickly

    “Poor Joe Manchin and other Red State democrats are being left for dead by the GOP despite being groped by Trump’s puss-grabber, and now Democrats are threatening them with primary challenges.”

    Is our Democrats learning??

    • Reality Kills

      Manchin is not a democrat by any standard! Dems often have a hard time learning. No more playing nice!!!

    • Shoto

      Manchin stood up and clapped last night when Drumpf diddled his adoring fans with bullshit about bringing back coal jobs.

      Primary that fucker so hard that he’s forced to move to Siberia.

  • Reality Kills

    This is the massive erection and orgasm I was fearing he was going to have at the Congressional speech. Now he wants more of it.

  • Next we’ll praise Bush II (Elected Boogaloo) decisive leadership quality for finally getting through My Pet Goat

  • Me not sure

    The widow of CPO Ryan was used in an inexcusably exploitative way and the Joint Chiefs faces show that they were enraged by it. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d7aa656fbbb7c0d9ab12e34b82e00511f74f27320fe3de5f117dccc45ff481ad.jpg

    • MOG253

      Well, that and Drumpf’s sleazy “they did it” defense.

  • In other NPR news, I’m cancelling my local recurring subscription. Told them I’m only listening for free if they keep calling on Sebastian Gorka for commentary. He is repellent. Not to mention wildly under-credentialed.

    • Ducksworthy

      Nilosh.

    • Shoto

      “Both sides do it.” Yeah…No.

      NPR has fallen far since way back in the day.

  • Bill Slider

    Dan Coats, Director of Intelligence, I think that I am missing something. I thought, for sure, but not for realz, that Sarah Palin had that job nailed down. Then, I heard Palin and Dan Quayle were in fight for their political lives for this gig. Dan Coats, and intelligence, in the same sentence, amazing. That would be the Dan Coats of that once dynamic duo of Coats & Quyale, a law firm from Indiana, or was it a restaurant chain? Come to think of it, he might have been the lead singer of that badass musical group, Falling Coats.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      How could you not know, he was half of the cough medicine company that released records in the 1980s, Halls and Coats?

      • Bill Slider

        My bad. Good one.

  • JMP

    Fuck, fuck, fuck you, mainstream, media, for the way you keep kissing Trump’s ass. And this should put an end to the idiotic “liberal media talk”, but then they’ve been conclusively proving their right-wing bias for decades and that has never happened.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I think all they want is absolute equality in the parties and can’t deal with the fact we have one sane party and one party that sold it soul to the devil years ago and has no ambition but accumulating power.

      • David Pseudonym

        It’s more like we have one party that’s corrupt, subsidized by moneyed interests and really only cares about the next election*.- and the other party, the Republicans, are infinitely worse.

        *Note that certain members of Congress, most especially Mr. Brown, Mr. Franken and Mrs. Warren of the upper chamber, do not fit this profile.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Good god, those conservative protesters grumbling about paid protesters with zero proof before admitting they were from out of district. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d635addf7bd66241adad403e37e9eac69b7a3ef9c77d624d2d4a5109b877bdc0.png

  • Yr. Gma

    How is that house full of cats so clean?

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