SHARE
ZOMBIE BABIES ATTACK!

If there is anything the Right loves, it is basing laws on flawed science and things they don’t entirely understand, and also making doctors lie to their patients. It is in this spirit that the Indiana House voted on Monday to require doctors to tell patients that medical abortions are “reversible,” even though that is pretty much bullshit.

What does it entail? Does it involve raising the dead? Zombie babies? FRANKENBABIES? Well, no, not exactly.

The reversal process, you see, involves jumping up and down while reciting “Mary Had A Little Lamb,” doing two umbrella twirls and spitting on the ground — and poof! Medical abortion undone! Baby saved! OK, fine, no — but it’s about as likely to “reverse” an abortion as doing that would be, only potentially more dangerous, and definitely way more expensive.

The way a medical abortion works is that you first take a dose of mifepristone, and then follow that up with a dose of misoprostol. However, those who support this legislation rely on the claims of one random doctor who says that if you only take the mifepristone, and then suddenly realize you actually do want to have a baby, you can take some progesterone shots and still have the baby. Those shots, and the treatment involved in taking them, cost about $1000.

Dr. George Delgado, medical director of Culture of Life Family Services in San Diego, California, published a paper in 2012 detailing an experiment in which he gave progesterone shots to 6 women who had taken only the mifepristone part of the medical abortion, and four of them went on to have babies. He claims to have performed this procedure on hundreds of women since, with a 60-70% success rate, and hopes to have his findings published in a peer-reviewed journal at some point in the near future. Which is to say that his findings have not yet been reviewed by other doctors, and these Indiana representatives are going entirely on the word of one guy.

Of course, the thing with that is that the mifepristone isn’t the medication that causes the abortion. Rather, it makes the abortion part possible by thinning the lining of the uterus. Those who just take the mifepristone part of the cocktail are about as likely to continue being pregnant as those who take the progesterone shots (30-50% will remain pregnant), according to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.

Those who support the bill are fine with pushing an expensive and experimental procedure, because they want women to know that there is a possibility that they could still decide to have the baby after all if they change their mind in the middle of taking the RU-486 dosage. And hey! That’s understandable. It’s unlikely to happen — only 0.004% of patients from 2012-2014 changed their mind after taking the mifepristone dosage — but it’s understandable. If this were a proven and safe method for aiding those few who did change their mind, I don’t think anyone would have a problem with it. The problem is that it is not.

The thing is, these people are so eager to push the “They don’t know what they’re doing when they sign up for an abortion!” angle that they are willing to put people’s health at risk. They’re doing it for the same reason they push “waiting periods” and counseling and all of that other crap. Because if they can make it seem as though abortion is a hasty choice you only make under duress and panic, and one you may regret later, it makes it all the more easy to eventually outlaw the procedure.

This, of course, conveniently ignores the fact that anyone who can get pregnant is constantly aware of that fact, and thus knows exactly what they would do were they to find themselves in that situation. I know what I would do, and if you can get pregnant, I’m sure you do as well. There’s a reason that such a small percentage of those taking RU-486 change their mind mid-dose, and it’s because in nearly all cases, those who want abortion are absolutely sure they want an abortion.

It would be nice if these people could just wait until the peer-reviewed science is in… but hey, we are talking about Republicans. Republicans in Indiana. Where Mike Pence used to be governor. So that seems pretty unlikely.

[The Cut | AP]

Wonkette is ad-free and supported by heathens like you.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • JMP

    It’s really an amazing medical discovery, that if someone takes only half of their medication then it has a good chance of not working.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Next, they’ll mandate a three day waiting period between doses to give the little wimmenz time to make up their feeble mind.

    • Shanzgood

      Hush! They might hear!

  • C4TWOMAN

    So, no Zombie Babies? I haz a disappoint.

    • Mavenmaven

      you should see some of those kids in meth families in rural areas.

  • msanthropesmr

    In my altworld, Pence is still governor of Indiana.

    • C4TWOMAN

      And under investigation for scandal and not likely to be anyone’s presidential running mate.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      In my altworld, Pence is trying to get work in “Mr. Clean” commercials.

    • JMP

      Though had he not quit his reelection campaign to run for VP, he probably would have lost and Indiana would actually have a Democratic governor today; that’s how unpopular he was in his home state.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Those shots, and the treatment involved in taking them, cost about $1000.

    And let me guess: insurers won’t cover the cost, will they?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Under TrumpCare, nothing will be covered so … yes.

    • laineypc

      Why would they need to? All the forced birthers will be happy to pony up to a go-fund-me for anyone who changes their mind.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      ding ding ding!

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    I’ll be goddamned if I’ll be changing any zombie-baby diapers. I’m telling you that right now.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      Where do babby zombies come from, anyway?

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Oh, little unicorn…well, when a boy zombie and a girl zombie love each other very much…

        • Kiri the Paid Protestor

          Hold on a moment: they are both dead at this point, yes?

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Not down there!

          • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

            Sure…what’s your point? Are you a zombieist? Zombies are people too…if you prick us, do we not ooze disgusting black ichor?

          • Kiri the Paid Protestor

            Please forgive me, my friend. I spoke insensitively.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Indiana, apparently.

  • JMP
    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Well, next time he should try the meatloaf.

      • jesuswasablack

        He is the meatloaf!

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Soylent Green libelz!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        But he won’t do that.

      • Foocatchoo

        So he survived it? Does his Mother know?

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Ooooo-kay

    • whitroth

      I regret that his mom didn’t get an abortion.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        needz moar “with votes”

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          I’m thinking retrospective negative wishes might not be a Rules violation (since they couldn’t be carried out) — but I’m not sure. I’m also thinking we as a community could collectively generate a body of expository scholarship on the Rules that would rival what the rabbinical world has done for the Torah.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I wonder:
      1) if he pressured the woman to have the abortion?
      2) if the woman regrets the abortion?
      3) if the woman regrets having had sex with him?
      And the answer, of course, is AOT,K!

      • Logic of Color

        Maybe he tried to perform one and screwed it up…?

      • JMP

        The most generous possibility is that this idiot just held up a sign without knowing what was on it; much likelier is that he’s a misogynist who sees a woman’s uterus as becoming his property if he shoots sperm into it.

        • Shanzgood

          That’s pretty much the idea. Fetal “personhood” legislation says it begins at fertilization, not actual pregnancy.

    • Jgb979

      The female to male transitioning process has made some astronomical improvements.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        The process was supposed to stop at just, you know, male. But it kept right on going through Douchey Womb Controller. At this rate, he’ll be Roosh V in less than a week.

        • Shanzgood

          That picture is a few years old so it might have already happened!!

      • A_Changeling

        He could actually easily be FtM. But probably just FFS.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Thanx for the share, now go choke/vote on a cake you like.

    • cats530

      The guy next to him (not in the picture) has a sign with an arrow pointing to this guy, stating, “I’m with Looser Moran.”

    • OneYieldRegular

      “I’m Hummus”?

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Quick, someone tell him. If he thinks he’s an Ay-rab, he might attack himself!

  • Lizzietish81

    Could also put the kid up for adoption

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhyLKJgd8Zw

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “His research methodology seems like overkill.”

    — Jenny McCarthy, probably.

  • whitroth

    And it’s all really about the effort to illegally, unConstitutionally, and against-the-Founding-Fathers to make this a “Christian nation”.

    Oh, and no, you can’t have sex, if we can’t have it, you aren’t allowed.

    Hmmm, maybe that’s why they hate Muslims, who get to have sex with those 72 virgins….

  • bookish

    http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-pol-healthcare-republican-dilemma-20170228-story.html

    And their [GOP] solutions could hit not only Americans who have Obamacare health plans, but also tens of millions more who rely on employer coverage or on government health plans such as Medicaid and Medicare.

    House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) and other congressional leaders, as well as new Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price, favor bringing back slimmed-down health plans that were phased out under Obamacare. Such “catastrophic” plans typically offer fewer benefits and often require patients to pay much larger deductibles.

    Many in the GOP also want poor people who rely on Medicaid to face more co-payments and higher premiums, citing the need for patients to have “skin in the game.”

    • So… sociopathy? Gotcha.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Pretty much.

      • DustBowlBlues

        I just hope that skin doesn’t have a serious burn.

    • Khavrinen

      I’ve always assumed that Nelson Muntz — the kid on the Simpsons who says “HAW ha” whenever gets hurt/does something embarrassing — is destined to grow up to be a Republican.

  • Crystalclear12

    Look around, we have plenty of people. We aren’t going to run out. You don’t need to save every bad decision made on a Saturday night.

    • Lizzietish81
    • JMP

      We have plenty of people, making more all the time, and at the same time are trying to turn most of the Earth into places unfit for human habitation; that ought to work out well.

    • DustBowlBlues

      I once had a friend who commented, ‘it’s not like they’re an endangered species.’ I’ve never quoted that before, though I’ve thought the thought once it was suggested to me.

      “Fight Club” almost gave Helen Bonham Carter this line: “I want you to get me pregnant. I want to have your abortion.”

      Harsh language in both cases and not something Naral is going to splash across any protest signs, but for many, I’d say most, desperate women, the decision isn’t quite as wrenching as even pro-choice advocates speak of it. A safe, cheap, legal and PRIVATE decision to have an abortion has saved more than one American family. After all, someone needs to think of those of us who are already living.

      • Shanzgood

        Yeah. I don’t like people trying to make excuses for it like it’s such a terrible thing that’s always a wrenching decision. Sometimes it is and those people should have support. But the rest is too much like shaming still. It feels like concern trolling even when pro-choicers do it.

  • Daru Titor

    I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    You take a day off work.
    You take taxi ride.
    You take mifepristone.
    You take progesterone.
    You sing the songs that remind you of the good times.
    You sing the songs that remind you of a zombie child.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “…require doctors to tell patients…”

    Reptards give “doctor’s orders” a new meaning.

    • mancityRed6

      whatever happened to keeping government out of healthcare?

      • Shanzgood

        Abortion is not healthcare, haven’t tou heard?

  • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

    I think we should impose a waiting period on folks who want to get bad tattoos, also too. You want the John Deere logo in the middle of a Confederate Flag tattooed on your arm? You need to wait three days, be consulted by a doctor, and even then, we will only tattoo half of it to start. You never know if you’ll regret it!!!

    True story: my friend, who attended Oberlin College, once saw a kid in a tattoo shop getting the image described above.

    • puredog

      Oberlin is kind of an island of sanity in a sea of derp.

  • bookish

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/321605-trump-pitches-37-percent-cut-to-state-budget-reports

    The Trump administration is proposing a 37 percent spending cut for the State Department and U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), according to multiple reports.

    U.S. officials say the suggested decrease would likely require laying off employees, including security contractors at diplomatic facilities overseas, The Associated Press said Tuesday.
    The AP said development assistance would likely take the biggest hit, citing officials familiar with the proposal.

    The agencies together received $50.1 billion during the current fiscal year, it added, a little more than 1 percent of the total federal budget.

    • anwisok

      Thirty . Seven . Percent . Cut to the State Department budget. Well, fuck OUR having any influence in International Politics from here on out!

      • JMP

        So strange that people who think the Benghazi attack was the worst failure of American security ever want to further cut the budget to defend America’s embassies from other attacks.

  • Anna Rompage

    Jebbus fucking Christ, WTF happened to the people who passed this bill that would make them so fucking stupid?

    • JMP

      Religion?

      • Anna Rompage

        Yeah, I guess believing in rib women, talking snakes, and parting seas as an adult is a significant indicator that you’re a fucking gullible moran that believes childhood fairy tales & ancient parables to be true…

        • Kiri the Paid Protestor

          Unicorns are totally legit, though.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Of course! I saw one on the Internet!

          • chicken thief

            I saw it also too! It can identify wifi hot spots!

    • mancityRed6

      Indiana?

  • fawkedifiknow

    That one doctor in San Diego juuuusssst might have a preordained result in mind for his “research project” concerning reversible medical abortions. Why, you ask, might I say that? Well, there is a hint in the name of his company: “Culture of Life Services”. It’s got Jesus, Mary and the Holy Ghost written all over it; it’s maybe what could be called “fake” medicine.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      Gosh, when you put it that way, a fella could think that this research is just a cover for finding another way to browbeat women about their choice.

  • laineypc

    Hmm let’s see. Nice thick nutrient-rich uterine lining feeds growing embryo important nutrients. For growing all those embryonic stem cells what tell which cells to differentiate into organs and brains and limbs and stuff. Tell you what. Let’s thin that uterine lining, reduce the nutrients, probably won’t make a hillabeans difference to those stem cells developing. Why would it? Well we can just wait and see and hope for the best.

    • Shanzgood

      Better find out before 20wks if it’s anencephaly.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Steve King’s way past 20 weeks.

  • Unnamed_and_MaybeFake

    Many wonder if the Dr.has a procedure to reverse their preznidential votes.

    • Me not sure

      It involves needles full of heroin, and while it won’t reverse the election, it’ll make you not care.

  • bookish

    https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2017-02-28/seven-deadly-myths-of-u-s-defense-spending

    The U.S. is about to become embroiled in a debate of fundamental importance to its role in the world. That discussion, which will unfold with the release of President Donald Trump’s first budget proposal and his speech before Congress on Tuesday, will nominally be about how much America should spend on defense. But the real issue is whether Washington can continue playing its traditional leading role in international affairs.

    For decades, the U.S. has stabilized the international order, in part by maintaining a preponderance of military power. Yet today, America is approaching “strategic insolvency” — the point at which its commitments exceed its capabilities and its ability to defend allies and deter adversaries is badly compromised. The only way to avoid the dangers this situation entails is to devote significantly greater resources to the military.

    Unfortunately, efforts to make this case have long been hampered by persistent misunderstandings about U.S. defense spending. Puncturing seven myths in particular is crucial to informing the coming debate.

    • capnkrunch

      Right-leaning Bloomberg citing war-mongering RAND corporation says we should cut entitlement spending to increase defense spending? Color me unimpressed.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • cats530

      Maybe they’ll give it corporate welfare too – like NASCAR and Formula 1 racing.

    • NastyBossetti

      That’s one of my favorites.

    • Foocatchoo

      I’ll help her incorporate her uterus

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      It can’t be a corporation unless it gives money to a lawmaker first.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Why don’t they just order women to explain to men they can still pull out after one squirt? (thinks for a minute) Ah fuck. Now I’ve given them an idea.

    • Stella Thomas

      An idea from 1948.

  • bookish

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/fight-over-debt-ceiling-could-accelerate-trumps-budget-clash-with-gop/2017/02/28/cd7f0c9e-fdc7-11e6-99b4-9e613afeb09f_story.html

    President Trump will have to deploy “extraordinary” measures in two weeks to avoid a default on the debt if Congress does not move to raise the federal borrowing cap, a little-recognized deadline that could expedite his showdown with Congress over taxes and spending.

    Trump has proposed giant cuts to tax rates for businesses and individuals, as well as new spending on infrastructure and military programs. His advisers have said those changes will boost the economy, creating more money for government spending.

    “The money is going to come from a revved up economy,” he said Tuesday morning on Fox News.

    • ViveLaPersistence

      I thought Trump said he already paid off the national debt after one month in office so take that Obummer.

    • jowgajen

      He is still stuck in the 80s.

    • Logic of Color

      Funny. I got out of a meeting last week where the managers were lamenting how they can’t fill positions. These are high-school diploma, no experience required positions. I wonder if any of Trump’s advisers are brave enough to clue him in on how strong Obama actually left the economy.

      • jowgajen

        Yes my business is already feeling the effects of low unemployment. This will push wages up some on its own, but remember that as wages get higher the math starts to suggest automation or simply cutting services. Overheating the economy will destroy some jobs permanently and it will be harder to recover from the inevitable crash. Think of it as driving with cruise control vs. just flooring it.

        • Logic of Color

          Good points. Is the inevitable crash predicted to be of Trumpian origins, or just the normal boom-bust cycle?

          • jowgajen

            Both, imo.

  • Oneofthebobs

    I wonder if lethal injection is reversable.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Texas: NO.

    • cats530

      I wouldn’t want to reverse it if were used on Rethuglican legislators.

      • Oneofthebobs

        With votes!

    • TJ Barke

      Potentially maybe if administered quickly.

    • Thiazin Red

      If you can keep the blood circulating mechanically, something like potassium chloride would be survivable. It won’t be pleasant, but once it was out of the system and the potassium levels went back to normal, things would stat working again. You could also potentially adjust the sodium levels in the blood to counteract it.

      • Oneofthebobs

        Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  • cats530

    Why do pasty old white religious male legislators have a hard on for abortions?

    It gives them a real rise when they fantasize about controlling cooters and it’s the only action they can get – legislating vaginas by proxy.

    • snark-lurker

      all to make sure wimmenz know their place in the pecking order…also pecker order & poker order

      • cats530

        Yep, that too. lol!

        • snark-lurker

          try saying poker order 3x fast

          • puredog

            Poker in the rear.

          • snark-lurker

            i can say that & licker in the front

  • Lizzietish81

    When my sister had her hysterectomy she had to sign a form saying that she understood she could not have a baby afterward.

    • snark-lurker

      well there are womens who donut know stuff, like Bristle Palin

    • Shanzgood

      Holy crap.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I just had a routine medical test. While lying naked on a gurney with IV line, heart monitor, BP cuff, I signed so many papers without reading them I’m sure understanding I could not have a baby afterward was among them.

    • Thiazin Red

      My mom was in her 50s and had to sign something similar.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Uhh will any doctors in the house help me out here?

    “detailing an experiment in which he gave progesterone shots to 6 women who had taken only the mifepristone part of the medical abortion, and four of them went on to have babies.”

    This sounds crazy unethical, since it’s experimentation on fetuses that are technically still alive. Not only that, but were the women in his study trying to have an abortion that he just thwarted? Were they having the children and he just used them as guinea pigs for his mad science experiment? How is this not human experimentation?

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      He also sewed the women together into a centipede. That results of that study should be released shortly. Indiana Republicans have already tried that experiment, anyway.

  • geoffalnutt

    That was like SO weird. I saw the picture and immediately thought “Oh, no! Kellyanne rushed out of the house without her wig. (It’s probably still in the dryer, anyway.) You’d think she’d wear a hat. She must’ve been in a real hurry.

  • bookish

    https://www.usnews.com/opinion/thomas-jefferson-street/articles/2017-02-28/donald-trumps-administration-is-incompetent

    I’m on record saying I believe President Donald Trump is a threat to democracy. The waves of antisemitism crashing around the nation are sufficient evidence, as are the president’s repeated attacks on the press, the courts and democratic norms.

    While we should be vigilant, I’ve been thinking: Are we seeing fascism where there is first plain ordinary incompetence? This may be a moot distinction since one thing can beget another, but in terms of a communication strategy, it’s important to understand what’s going on. This White House talks a good game. It has crowed about the return of “alpha males.” But when it matters, it chokes.

    More than exposing Trump for his white nationalist sympathies, the best way forward may be stressing what’s emphatically evident: Trump can’t govern.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      The waves of antisemitism…

      Obviously that is caused by Mexican Islamic Terrorism.

      • Gosala

        It’s all part of the Kenyan Illuminati scheme.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        thanks Obama!

    • NastyBossetti

      “This White House talks a good game.”
      Does it, though? Is this what “talking a good game” looks like? I have seen no evidence of it.

      • chicken thief

        Maybe if you are a retired former blue collar worker in the Rust or Farm Belt?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Mother of God…Culture of Life Family Services? Let’s see, I’m guessing they are advocates of stoning for female infidelity, treating wives like chattel, and vigorously beating unruly children with household objects to force Satan out of them. Am I forgetting anything?

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Thank Dog my HMO won’t pay for a cop and a church elder to be in the exam room with my OB.

  • weejee

    Is this why all the Democrat womenz are wearing white tonight at tRump’s unstately yammerfest?

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Yes! Troll the trolls :)

  • cats530

    Latest Republican Rhetoric: Us little old women just can’t make up our empty lil’ ole’ minds about whether to have an abortion or not. It’s just like trying on high heels. Maybe I’ll buy them. Maybe I won’t. Or maybe I’ll buy them and then return them to the store. I jus’ cain’t make up my lil’ ole’ mind and ah need some big strong alpha male Republican male legislator (who has no license to practice gynecology) to decide for me.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    hey little fetus, Hoosier daddy?

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Mike Pence?

      • cats530

        No. He prefers rent boys.

        • The KGB Ate Our Votes

          Of this I have no doubt.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Now, I’m not a doctor, but fuck those guys.

  • ViveLaPersistence

    Why oh why can’t we simply de-stigmatize contraception and make it available to any woman who wants it regardless of ability to pay? The heartache and turmoil (not to mention the financial expense) that could be avoided would be transformative.

    • RobKanC

      Then how do you control them?

      • snark-lurker

        same way you herd cats?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Can I just mention that the women who are actually having the babbies are far more likely to have an unsavory agenda than the ones who are aborting them? Sometimes having a babby is a woman’s way of controlling a man

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Most Republicans are dudes/women past childbearing age. Not only do they not want the free ego-boost of calling young women sluts to go away, they also don’t want to pay for literally anything they don’t have to.

    • jowgajen

      Remember that the effective contraceptives are still only 99% effective. You can do everything right and still get pregnant.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        What about the aspirin-between-the-knees method? A very wealthy Replicant man (therefore very more smart than puny girl brains) said that is best method.
        http://www.cbsnews.com/news/foster-friess-in-my-day-women-used-bayer-aspirin-for-contraceptives/

        • jowgajen

          I don’t know but I’ve been told that those little sperms can be sneaky.

          • Stella Thomas

            I Verify.

        • Shanzgood

          UGH. I remember that.

          Totally awesome position, though.

        • Thiazin Red

          Which again assumes that the women who get abortion or want contraception are all single. Married women are just supposed to refuse all sex unless they want more babies I guess.

        • Heyzeus Ahchay

          My lady friend prefers the head-between-the-knees method — usually my head.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      If men could conceive contraceptives and morning after pills would come in PEZ dispensers and abortions could be had at the CVS drive-thru. It’s all about control.

      • Shanzgood

        Not just about controlling women but whole families. Most (2/3) who have an abortion already have at least one child. They usually have partners as well. Forcing them to have a child they’re not ready for makes ALL of them more vulnerable.

        • The KGB Ate Our Votes

          Forcing folks to have kids they can’t afford is great for the payday lenders. the title loan stores, banks and credit card companies. Ultimately I think that’s what it’s really about.

          • Shanzgood

            And for keeping people willing to take any shit at their shitty job/s just to earn a paycheck.

    • BrianW

      A woman using logic? EEK! WITCH! BURN HER!!!!

    • cats530

      But then the regressives would have one less thing to feel morally superior about.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Does this involve labia glue?

    • Shanzgood

      Yeah but you have to stick the whole tube up there to keep the babby from falling out.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Is surgical castration reversible? Hows ’bout lobotomies? If so, the GOP is in luck.

    • cats530

      Too bad sociopathy isn’t reversible. The GOP is infected with it.

  • Moebym the Persistent Returner

    These legislators need a both a science lesson and an English lesson.

    • Paperless Tiger

      And a swift kick, with votes.

  • Oblios_Cap

    There’s a whole lot of stupid going around today in the run-up to Pres. Dipshit’s Come-to-Jesus, fact-free rant and rave tonight.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      “Wow. Look at this crowd. Nobody’s ever had a crowd like this! And there’s a line of people wanting to get into the House of Representatives that stretches all the way to Terre Haute. Tremendous. It’s a movement the likes of which has never been seen before.”

      • 1,000 bonus points for the Christmas Story reference.

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          Only makes sense, since so many members of Congress remind me of that aviator-capped kid who “like[s] The Wizard of Oz.”

    • Peggy Ryan

      I would rather watch my cat vomit up a hairball.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Karlo Marx and Friedrich Engels
    Came to the checkout at the abortionplex
    Marx was preggers – but he had sense
    Engels sent him straight to Mike Pence.

    Whadda we got? Yeh-o!
    Whadda we got? Mifepristone!

  • FlownΩver

    Assuming we still have a First Amendment we should expect Indiana docs to advise their patients as follows:

    “Indiana law requires me to say the following words, which are total nonmedical bullshit…”

    • Shanzgood

      Some already do. I read an article about Dr. Willie Parker and that’s exactly what he tells his patients.

      • Shanzgood

        Well, he probably doesn’t say “bullshit” though.

      • HarpyLibtart

        I saw him on Last Week Tonight (I think) and I LOVED the way he delivers that spiel – he seems like such a nice guy too, it makes me so angry that he has to go through all this bullshit to do the right thing.

  • Blueb4sunrise
    • jowgajen

      Insert facepalm meme here.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Fuck that guy too…

  • jenny_whyme

    .>> He claims to have performed this procedure on hundreds of women since

    Assuming that his claim is true.. and he’s performed this procedure on hundreds of women.. is he saying he’s experimenting on women and the potential unborn babies? Has he done any followup studies to determine if there aren’t any long term affects to the baby? Did he do any animal studies prior to or are his patients guinea pigs?

    This whole thing reeks of snake oil salesman.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I bet you a paycheck he did it on women from Mexico.

    • HarpyLibtart

      I feel like maybe someone should have a quiet word to whatever board this quack is licensed with…
      I seriously doubt that the AMA looks kindly upon unsanctioned medical experiments on pregnant women and fetuses, particularly if said experiments have been conducted without informed consent?
      Cause that would explain why no reputable journal would publish his paper, aside from his no doubt shitty experimental design, the entire thing just screams ethics violation.

  • Poly_Ester

    The Hoosier Legislature has a long history of promoting junk science because real scienc is hard. Goggle “Indiana pi law” in the 1890’s the legislature enacted a law making the value of pi = 3.2.

    • TJ Barke

      So, don’t trust anything circular in Indiana…

      • LesBontemps

        Even the firing squad?

  • puredog

    If I weren’t so lazy I would be curious to see the back-and-forth as to why it was deemed advisable to round 3.14 UP instead of rounding it DOWN.

    • Yr. Gma

      My grandson pointed out to me just yesterday that if you do a mirror image of 3.14, it spells “pie.”

      • puredog

        Kids. They say the darnedest things.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Pi day is coming in 2 weeks! Pie……..

      • alpacapunchbowl

        My mind is now thoroughly blown.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Technically it spells “pl.e”

        • Yr. Gma

          You can take it up with my grandson and his fifth-grade class.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    This I don’t grok. If you tell the wimmen that their abortion is reversible, doesn’t that encourage them to abort, and then if they’re feeling voter’s remorse they can kick the GOPs out remorse, they can undo it?

    • Shanzgood

      It’s a trick by the abortionplex industry to earn more money!!!

      • LesBontemps

        Duh! How else are they going to be able to keep sponsoring dollar shots night and BOGO D&Cs?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Come for the cheap likker, stay for the scrape, scrape, scrape.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Just ask Justice Kennedy. he’ll tell you how we ladies have a lot of trouble making up our minds and we might have to live with the consequences of our wrong decisions for the rest of our lives :(

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Yeah, that seems odd.
      Probably comes down to something simple as looking to see which Indiana legislators that have investments in progesterone injection manufacturing, or something.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Who gets half way though the gut-wrenching decision to have an abortion & suddenly think, “Hmm, maybe this wasn’t a great idea”? No one, that’s who. These dipshit men of the GOP (not all you good guys out there) have no idea how women work & should have no right to legislate our bodies. Getting real sick of your shit!

    • Jukesgrrl

      Meerkats R also smarter than Indiana legislators.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Tips tiny Meerkat-sized top hat ;) Thank you!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Courser_Resistance

    Well, they don’t believe in science anyway. One quack is as good as another in their book ‘cuz ALL science is just an opinion, yo.

  • SpaceCaptainWarlock

    Well at least they’re consistent with their confirmation bias and misunderstanding of how science works. No one ever accused them of having integrity. That’s not how this works.

  • Daniel Hooper

    Is this what they want to encourage?!(caution, graphic violence)https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fmvjRv2oMWQ

  • Thiazin Red

    Well everyone knows how fickle and silly women are. Pregnant women walking down the street just wander into the clinic on a whim all the time, so no surprise they would change their minds again. Us poor thing really need men to protect us from ourselves and our rash decision making.

    (I know I’ve seen that top thing in something before, and now its going to bug the shit out of me till I remember)

    • Shanzgood

      There’s no such thing as wandering in anyway. Not with all the protesters.

      http://wendikentphotography.com/?page_id=793

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I can’t imagine what I would have done. Fucking assholes.

        • Shanzgood

          One of the things I find disturbing is that if some fuckwit started screaming this crap at people and getting all up in their space at a bus stop or a Walmart nobody would think twice about macing them. But somehow we’re supposed to accept it in front of a clinic. Or as in my neighbor’s case, in front of her house.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Molly Ivans said it years ago.

  • tehbaddr

    Whew! That seems easy enough, aside from the mental anguish. I thought there was going to be instructions involving opening the Vacuum catch and what not!

  • Edith Prickly
  • chicken thief

    They are just trying to prevent Buff Nordic Lumberjack Jesus from having to smite Oklahoma with a F4 tornado just ’cause them slutty sluts are slutting around on the coasts and making the Abortionplex’s staff work overtime to deal with their slutty slutness.

    • TakingAmes

      I wonder if anyone ever thinks that Buff Nordic Lumberjack Jesus smites Oklahoma with F4 tornadoes because Oklahoma/Kansas/Missouri/Kentucky/etc. have stupid legislatures that hate women and poors and blahs. Nah. Too much thinkin’.

      • Heyzeus Ahchay

        Has anyone in any one of the tornado-smitten states ever taken the time to thank Jeebus for straightening them out with a good storm whack? I don’t know why not. They always seem to thank him for saving them and never for killing some of their neighbors and family by sending in that blessed F4.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Where can I meet this Buff Nordic Lumberjack Jesus? Might he be interested in a man of obvious charm and refinement?

      • chicken thief

        He frequently poses for the McNaughton, or whatevz his name is, guy. He prolly has His Holy Contact Info.

  • Bitter Scribe

    If only there were a way to reverse stupid decisions by Republican legislatures…

    • Lambsendbeds

      If only there was a way to reverse stupid Republican legislators…
      FIFY

  • chicken thief

    Just for the record, when was the last time any GOP rep proposed a bill restricting access to boner pills?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This conflation of abortion and ED treatment always annoys me. They are not remotely equivalent. It trivializes abortion.

      • chicken thief

        “It trivializes abortion.”

        Hmmm. How so? But I was actually looking at it more in terms of access to birth control – which they are also too fond of legislating, not abortions.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          While ED is a serious condition, it’s more often marketed as a solution to “still be a man” when your problem is you’re just old. And, yes, sex is nice, and ED can be a symptom of underlying issues, but no one dies because ED treatments are unavailable.

          • chicken thief

            Ah! That’s what I was overlooking from your earlier post – women can die without an abortion.

            Though men generally do not die from ED, some have died from the cure…

      • HazooToo

        Would the equivalent be a vasectomy? I don’t think those are legislated as much as abortions, although they actually ARE reversible, and they take away the babymaking pretty much forever unless you do have them reversed. But then again, they do think life begins in the uterus, not the balls, unless that is also just another excuse for them to tell women what the fuck they can and cannot do with their own damn bodies, I hate this crap.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          An interesting comparison- I like it. And consistent with, for instance, Catholic teachings against BC (Catholics frown on vasectomy in addition to other forms of birth control). But you don’t hear about people trying to restrict access to it otherwise. Yup, a MUCH better comparison.

  • Serai 1

    that they are willing to put people’s women’s health at risk.

    Fixed that for you.

    • stubbornirishlass

      that they are willing to put poor women’s health at risk.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “But there’s a tiny fraction of women out there who need to know that they could have an expensive procedure that is probably useless! Who speaks for them!”

  • Hey GOP, just spittballin here….but are you not the guys who keep screaming about keeping government interference out of our relationships with doctors?
    IF a woman changed her mind, and idk, talked to her Doc, would it not be up to them then to disclose that hey, there is a chance this is ok if you just do not take this next bit?
    Without flat out lying to them based on non-reviewed unscience?

    • TakingAmes

      What the hell self-respecting doctor would EVER do this shit?!?

      • Odd Jørgensen

        Oh they have all the self respect they can poke a stick at, it`s respect for the wimminfolk that is lacking.

  • chazmanr

    Peer-reviewed science is for the tree-hugging environmentalists who want to destroy America by making our air breathable and our water drinkable.
    /s

  • azeyote

    i know masturbating makes you need to use a braille keyboard like i’m using – but i didn’t know that you could never have sexy time ever again after an abortion –

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    The thing that disturbs me most about these laws is the concept that women are large children who really don’t understand what they are doing and have to be told over and over again.
    If the can’t outlaw it completely, they will require a woman to place her head in a vice while the MD performs an ultrasound.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    The most important decisions in life are super confusing for we lady-folk. Neutral eye or neutral lip? Paper or plastic? Do I want fries with that? Should I abort this fetus or not? I just don’t know what I want or need! If only men were willing to spend all their time telling me!!

    • Jonny On Maui

      You always want fries with that…

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        My crinkle cuts!!!

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Everyone knows it’s smokey eye and neutral lip. Clearly your decisions are not to be trusted. But I snark. Honest-to-God, as a prostate-bearing American, I don’t feel like I get to tell the wimmins what to do – about anything, ever, at all. I can barely get myself in hand, why would I attempt to control the smarter sex?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        If more men knew this, we would all be better off!

  • OrG

    There was a time when Indiana wasn’t so fucked up.That time has passed.

    • SqueakyRat

      Are you sure? My dad’s family lived there a long time . . .

      • Ducksworthy

        But maybe he wasn’t actually a Hoosier. Hoosier was originally an adjective meaning “smelling of hog feces”.

        • SqueakyRat

          My question was whether Indiana was ever not fucked up. A hundred years ago the place was ruled by the Klan. Dear old Dad smelled more often of bourbon than anything else.

  • Vorhees

    Robyn, are you sure Chicago’s far enough away? North-Sider or South-Sider? I GTFO over a year ago….(mostly over the winters and partly to support fambly down south.)

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Next step is to make it mandatory to buy the $1,000 procedure in advance, just in case, because you never know if you’ll be one of the 0.04% who change their minds.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    it’s Indiana. The same state that once tried to pass legislation changing the value of pi to 3.142.

    • m rees

      The number was 3.2, an even worse option, mathematically speaking.
      cf. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Pi_Bill

      • Ducksworthy

        Jeebus Lord is that some sort of number of the beast type thing or what?

      • HazooToo

        Okay, I am not good at math. I suck at multiplying things. I count on my fingers. I barely remember the logistics of division. Even I know that you can’t just change what a damn number is, how do you even suggest that?!

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      How bout they outlaw gravity?

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    For a minute, I thought they were talking about stuffing the parts back in and jumping up and down. Whew!
    — And as for taking the word of 1 person, why should the GOP change now?
    After all, Resident Turnip is going to save Amerika, and Jeebus is going to save your “soul.” That’s all anyone should need to pass a law or two.

  • Panika MCD

    Dr. George is just trying to get in on the “Jesus Shot” business Dr. Mike (OKC) has.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    I have to ask… are we sure that this “doctor” had the permission of the women involved before experimenting on them?

    • HazooToo

      That is a good goddamn question, because if I were pregnant, the LAST FUCKING THING ON EARTH I would consent to is being some asshole’s guinea pig!

    • Fritz1964

      Took the words right offa my keyboard. I would enjoy seeing to what extent this “experiment” was a well-deigned clinical trial, with IRB approval and attention to Federal research regs. You know how the conservanistas luvs them some rules.

  • Weevie

    This is so stupid, obviously, but bear with me here…

    Mifepristone binds to progesterone receptors twice as tightly as progesterone itself and you could shoot yourself in the butt (good luck) with a quart of progesterone and nothing would happen. Mifepristone blocks progesterone, but the progesterone that allowed pregnancy is still there, just not doing anything; it’s blocked. Waiting until the Mifepristone metabolizes and disappears and allows progesterone to move back to the receptors would take the pregnancy process right back to where it was before Mifepristone. Hence drug 2 to finish the process while Mifepristone is still active.

    Short and simple, if you wait a few days, the abortion process just stops, gestation resumes and women who have, for whatever reason, not taken the second drug, remain pregnant 30-50% of the time.

    That’s not what I’d call a good “success” rate, so clearly Mifepristone causes extensive damage most of the time.

    This Doctor Idiot has gotten nowhere in 5 years with his Doctor Idiot crap idea and if he had any ethics, he would know there’s nothing to it beyond messing up a woman’s hormones so badly by jacking progesterone (after Mifepristone is metabolized) to levels twice that used in IVF, the outcome could be anything.

    Anyone confused enough to see this Doctor Idiot and isn’t successful should stick him in the ass daily for two weeks with the giant needle used for progesterone, it’s the size of a nail and really hurts.

    Beyond all the turmoil this causes, the doubt, etc., if a woman regrets an abortion and a child is what you want, try again! It’s her choice!

    Indiana still has to get this through the senate, maybe they’ll kill it.

  • Stella Thomas

    My protest sign on this says “The government should keep its nose out of my crotch.” Works for a variety of issues.

  • Zyxomma

    Resist.

  • SadDemInTex
Previous articleA Titillating Story About Alex Jones’s Nipples Soaking In Authentic Texas BBQ
Next articleTrump Knows Who To Blame For Navy SEAL’s Death In Yemen (Guess Who! Barack Obama!)