Morning Wonkers! We’ve got a busy day ahead of us, so here’s some of the stories we may be talking about today!
- More hacked text messages from Paul Manafort’s daughter are being leaked and they suggest that Paul Manafort was not only paid in blood money and just helping Trump for shits and giggles, but Manafort and Trump may have stepped kneed deep in shit that belonged to Russian oligarchs with even deeper pockets.
- Here’s some Morning Maddow that gives more digestible detail about Trump, Manafort, Russian Oligarchs, and newly confirmed Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross’ connections to Russian oligarchs. “THE DOSSIER” is looking a little bit more legit every day!
- Trump will speak to Congress tonight, and his White House is already
leakingcirculating its talking points, likely in an effort to fire up the grammar police and policy wonks.
- As Trump gets ready to speak to Congress tonight, fiscal conservatives are freaking out that Trump wants to spend billions of Ameros without touching entitlements (like Social Security or Medicaid), but Trump thinks the “revved up economy” will pay for all the wars he’s DEFINITELY not going to be starting anytime soon.
- The Senate is eyeballing Intelligence Committee Chairman Richard Burr with deep, penetrating eyes and harsh language behind closed doors because Burr has put on Russian-made, Trump brand blinders.
- Trump was on teevee with some beautiful Aryan folks this morning and said he doesn’t think he’s a racist, and that Obama is behind the #Resistance movement, secretly pulling our puppet strings from the safety of his Black White House.
- House and Senate Republicans are running at high speed from a leaked draft of the Obamacare replacement plan since it kills Medicaid expansion and gives tax credits (SHOCKER!) instead of subsidies for insurance exchanges.
- Jack Abramoff is back, and this time he’s
exploitingfighting “radical Islam” in Africa with Rep. Dana Rohrabacher and the definitely not corrupt regimes throughout Africa.
- Tom Perez is the nerdy, voting rights boyfriend you always wanted to have political sexy times with, and Perez and Keith Ellison will be making kissy faces together during Trump’s address tonight.
- Speaking of voting rights, Jeff Sessions’s Justice Department doesn’t think voter ID laws in Texas were racisit, and he would know, wouldn’t he?
- The failing and evil Washington Post investigated claims of voter fraud in New Hampshire and couldn’t find anything. FAKE NEWS! Conspiracy!
- That Yemen raid was a big waste of lives, time and resources, according to U.S. officials. There’s no jokes here, it’s just sad.
- Russia is cleaning house at the “International Defence Exhibition and Conference” (IDEX) in Abu Dhabi by selling all sorts of war gear to Not America in an attempt to charm old buddies, and make new friends.
- Major cities are fighting the Trump Organization’s desire to stick gaudy hotels all over the country, and coming up with hilariously creative ways of saying, “Go fuck yourself.”
- The Notorious RBG’s workout is the stuff of legend. Remember, only people like Paul Ryan take shortcuts and skip leg day!
- Here’s your late night wrap up! Colbert got all up in Trump’s face, then brought out cartoon Donald Trump and John Stewart for a LIBERAL media pep talk; Kimmel had Robert De Niro read some mean tweets; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump’s preparations for his first address to Congress; and Trevor Noah took a gander at the crackdown on leaks coming from the White House.
- And here’s your morning Nice Time, baby sloth snack time!