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Morning Wonkers! We’ve got a busy day ahead of us, so here’s some of the stories we may be talking about today!

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  • Vienna Woods

    So I just made a woman on the phone laugh. In the process of booking a hotel room for the night of my play’s festival performance (2 weeks! So excited!), I was put through to some promotions thing. Lady asked me if I travelled much to the states. I said “I will not cross the border as long as Trump is president.” She laughed and laughed.

  • Nounverb911
  • mardam422

    So Obama coordinates the resistance, while George Soros pays them. Yes, I can totally see how this is a perfectly reasonable hypothesis. I mean, it’s obvious, amirite?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’m just having a problem figuring out why having the most prominent leaders of a party respectively leading and funding a movement is iniquitous, myself.

  • TundraGrifter

    President Trump recently held a “listening session” where CEO’s of major industries came to the White House to suck up to him. Reporters were allowed to be present for part of the show. They were allowed to quote people just as long as they did not name them.

    Yet our President whines and whines about anonymous sources.

  • memzilla Ω

    Here’s Kellyanne Conway meeting with leaders of historically black colleges and universities. Michelle Obama’s momma made Barack keep the plastic on the White House couch because of people like this.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2616f8035aba188542960534f284af174bf963449c13452af9fc5e7cbd2ec078.png

    • lucidamente

      Which brand of vibrator is she pleasuring herself with?

      • Jenny

        IPhone 6

      • Creepoman

        AOT,K

  • memzilla Ω
    • Aaack!

    • schmannity

      Needs more soft pornism.

    • BadKitty904

      American Horror Story…

    • The Wanderer

      Melania(?) looks like a long-necked Cersei Lannister in this. Bigger tits, though.

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        She’s standing too close to him. It must be Ivanka.

        • The Wanderer

          I disagree. There’s that look of “I have seen horrors that you cannot imagine” in her eyes.

    • Creepoman

      Hand on the pitchfork is too big. Fake art.

      • PubOption

        Plus, the tie should be outside the overalls.

  • Oblios_Cap

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks Mr. Gwinn, as always. Today you missed an important story:

    Happy Mardi Gras

    http://www.nola.com

    • BadKitty904

      Beat me to it!

      <– throws Riley some beads

      • Ill-Advised

        Here, have some of those King Cakes you like!

  • schmannity

    What??? No coverage of the breaking news that Kellyanne had her shoes on the couch in the Oval Office? FAKE NEWZ!

  • Belasaurius

    every time I gets accused of being a paid protester, I confess that they are right and that I am paid in aborted fetus sandwiches.

    • schmannity

      With afterbirth stew. It’s hearty!

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      Well then, no economic insecurity for you!

  • Some one bring me some pancakes!

    • Nounverb911
      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        My favourite pancake topping is MOAR PANCAKES.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        You have to save that for Kiri!!!

    • BadKitty904

      Ha!

      Tippety, tippety tin,
      Give me a pancake and I will come in.
      Tippety, tippety toe,
      Give me a pancake and I will go!

  • Nounverb911
  • BadKitty904

    OT: New depths in Republican treason and treachery!

    On Tuesday, House Republicans Will Betray Their Oaths, Their Country, and the American People
    This Tuesday, February 28, 2017, the United States will witness the what may be the
    single greatest act of collective treachery by its elected government officials since the Confederate States voted to secede from the Union in 1860 and 1861. And in all likelihood, the U.S. media will completely ignore it.

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2017/02/26/1637660/-On-Tuesday-House-Republicans-Will-Betray-Their-Oaths-Their-Country-And-The-American-Pe

    (Shout out to Blarney, who originally posted this!)

    • Jgb979

      It’s fine:

      Treason charges can be expanded

      • BadKitty904

        “…will need to be…”

  • Oblios_Cap

    Trump thinks the “revved up economy” will pay for all the wars he’s DEFINITELY not going to be starting anytime soon

    That knucklehead really needs to read “Economics for Idiots”, because he’s got no clue.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I’m not sure he’s reading at the Idiot level yet.

  • memzilla Ω

    Here’s Edumacation Sekriterry Betsy DeVos PRAISING “separate but equal.”
    *head desk*

    “Paging Mr. Crow! Will Mr. Jim Crow please pick up the white — the VERY white — courtesy phone?”
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/386b1f664c7ed48d0ca56888dff397fec2d1447c16486a509f67e71e20d151ae.png

    • schmannity

      HBCU are real pioneers when it comes to school choice.

      When the choice was an HBCU or no education whatsoever, just like a charter school coming soon to your neighborhood.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Thank God white people forced blacks to come up with a separate educational system. We should all applaud them for having so much compassion and foresight.

    • Michael R
      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        … Ha, I just got that!

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah, where I live in Florida there was no black high school so the damned parents had to build one and pay for it and kids came from 100 miles around to attend because there weren’t any where they lived. Bootstraps!

  • House0fTheBlueLights
    • BadKitty904

      Welcome to America 2017, Republicans.

    • dslindc

      Needs a t-shirt cannon, also too.

    • ImPEECH!

      Cannot give enough fists for making me smile today~

  • schmannity

    I am looking forward to the State of The Onion address tonight. Overtaken by real life events, irrelevant due to widespread ridiculousness? Tune in tonight!

  • Nounverb911

    What is the drinking game for the ‘joint address’ tonight?

  • BadKitty904

    And, despite Trump and Republican treason –

    HAPPY MARDI GRAS, WONKETTEERS!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17nXsv7o64k

  • bookish
    • The Wanderer

      Duh. What was their first fucking clue?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Probably that the name “trump” was in front of the word “budget”.

        Dead giveaway, that.

  • Jgb979

    I’ve never understood how Obama could secretly be the most deviously clever person who ever lived on this planet and simultaneously a complete incompetent and failure as a president (probably because those ideas exist simultaneously in a conservatives head and don’t need to be reconciled)

    You couldn’t pay me to watch what that paranoid fat lunatic has to say in realtime.

    • Nounverb911

      Follow the ‘live blog’ and let someone else watch for you.

    • Michael R

      The republican plan to blame everyone else for everything is simplicity itself !
      Now they have control and there’s nowhere to hide .

  • ImPEECH!

    Hmmmph. What’s with all the sloth footage fer laffs? Are you trying to TELL US something, Dominic?…

    • msanthropesmr

      The cutest deadly sin.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Paul Manafort seems to have raised a couple of fairly bright daughters…smart enough to realize their dad is a power-hungry narcissist.

    • Michael R

      Unlike Huckabee .

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Trump will speak to Congress tonight, and his White House is already leaking circulating its talking points, likely in an effort to fire up the grammar police and policy wonks.

    “Everyone else went to good public schools and all we got is this broken DeVos to copyedit. Please help us!”

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Crowd source the grammar Nazis.

    • Pilotshark

      one has to wonder if the last few speeches was at a 7th grade level, wonder after tonight if that don`t drop to a 5th grade level?

      not that i think, i am smarter than a 5th grader :-)

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    There’s so many different stories, explanations, and conclusions about the Yemen raid. There should be an investigation so that whatever mistakes were made are not repeated.
    (Ha, ha, ha, ha I crack myself up!)

    • Oblios_Cap

      YEMENGHAZI!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • bookish

    What time: 9 p.m. ET

    What channel: All the major networks and cable news channels will be airing the speech live, and most will live-stream it on various platforms.

    • I will be stabbing my eyes out

      • snark-lurker

        DONUT LOOK! Join me at Netflix & Chill

        • magyar of infinite power

          I thought that was a sex thing

          • snark-lurker

            it is but i was speaking globally

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      I’m not going to watch. I can’t stand the sight of that motherfucker.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I can’t stand hearing him talk either.

        • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

          Not sure what’s worse, his ratty voice or the perpetual hand jive he does in association with said ratty voice.

          • MynameisBlarney

            He has to keep those tiny little hands in motion so people won’t focus on them.

        • ImPEECH!

          can’t stand hearing him talk

          Marginally related: God Sick Of New Angel’s Annoying Fucking Voice – – theonion.com

      • snark-lurker

        Netflix & chill! that’s MY plan

        • Erala Contratista

          Netflix AND CHILI! What a great idea!! Beer, too!

          • snark-lurker

            and wine–lot & lots of wine

      • bookish

        I follow by live blogs. Can’t stand to watch or listen to him either. If he’s speaking extemporaneously, it will ne chaos.

      • RC

        I hate to hear him too but I might listen to see if he goes off the rails and makes a fool of himself. 45 min of him ranting about President Obama running a shadow government would be a hoot. It won’t be any fun if he reads the teleprompter and stays on message.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          I can’t sit through an entire speech by AngryOrange, but Jon Stewart taught them well, so Sam, Trevor, John Oliver, Colbert, and the others will show us the rail jumping
          https://threatqualitypress.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/trainwreck.jpg

          • RC

            Very good point and you’ve released me of the fear that I will miss something bizarre since I watch Oliver, and Sam religiously. Oh, and if he gets too weird I’m sure we’ll get some right here on the Wonkette.

        • cmd resistor

          I figure he’ll start w/the speech written by whoever, then go off the rails. I guess the question is how long he stays on the canned speech.

          • RC

            yea and just how far he goes off the rails. Which one of the Bush’s just said they didn’t like his racism? That might be enough to send him careening down the road.

      • Oblios_Cap

        FSU is playing Duke, so I’ll watch sportsball.

      • janecita

        I pay not to look at his ugly, lying face.

      • BadKitty904

        I reckon I’ve heard him lie before.

      • Yup we’re deep into ‘the crown’ (leftover SAG season). Much more interested in THAT empire ending than watching our own real time.

        Plus, the only fat ass is Churchill.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Crap, so the GRIT network will be airing it and no Walker Texas Ranger! Or Invasion U.S.A. #4!

      http://cdn.tvpassport.com/image/station/76×28/grittv.png

    • ImPEECH!

      What “heart”??

      • NastyBossetti

        I take that to mean he won’t be speaking at all, since he has no heart to speak from.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        I’ve read about his terrible diet. Maybe this means he’ll get bug-eyed and grab his chest…

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      At least its not on Netflix.

      • bupkus23

        or my DVR

    • cheetojeebus

      Translation: He’s going to wing it again. Expect a repeat of the impromptu presser that is now the stuff of legends.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Darn. I will be in SL, snuggling and chatting with the g/f, working on convincing her to abandon Baltimore for the Great White North.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Do you have a Cubs hat? It’s the “in” hat in St. Louis. You should find one and wear it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’m so torn. Some friends are coming for a Very Important Discussion that I don’t want to put off, but I need to see the speech with the Wonkers.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Since Lil’Donnie lives by ratings, don’t watch it. It will be summarized and analyzed here anyway. If the ratings are lower than Obama’s SOTU speeches, it will eat at Lil’Donnie and drive him further off the rails.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlKao_Pox5A

  • Michael R
  • snark-lurker

    ah ha ha I finally see WYDT “Obama [taking] secret leaks…”

  • o’look Skwerl!

    “THE DOSSIER” is looking a little bit more legit every day!

    Pee hookers!
    Pee hookers!
    Pee hookers!

    Okay now that that is out of the way, anyone up for starting a new game show called “THE DOSSIER”?

    What is in dossier #3?

    • Michael R

      If you touch it you die !

    • Vecchioivan

      More pee hookers?

      • o’look Skwerl!

        Always the correct answer.

        Let’s see what you’ve won!

    • snark-lurker

      #3 says “There will be no investigation.”

  • MynameisBlarney
  • msanthropesmr
    • The Wanderer

      “Lazy lay?”

    • ImPEECH!

      This is how I imagine marshmallow Peeps would look if melted in the oven…

      • cmd resistor

        I saw an ad for a new Oreo flavor with peeps as the filling. Looked pretty gross.

        • ImPEECH!

          Separately, I dont’ care much for either. Together? That could appeal to me, actually, so I’m glad you mentioned it~

          • cmd resistor

            I think the cookie part was vanilla in this one.

    • BadKitty904

      VERY nice!!!

      You brought enough to share, yes?

    • Shanzgood

      I didn’t even know what those were until last year. I miss so many good things on this planet!

    • magyar of infinite power

      It’s all fun and games until someone chokes to death on baby Jesus

    • Doug Langley

      Is that French for “Julia Child threw up in a baking pan”?

  • anwisok
    • Pancake Tuesday!

      • wait! what?

        Obviously referring to jogging partners that’ve lost their glam.

      • Bill Slider

        What happened to Obama’s Taco Tuesday? Further, which day is well done steak day covered in katsup?

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      I’m more like “Is it Jan 20, 2020 yet?”

    • chortlingdingo

      I wish it was Friday! Not only is it pay day, but I’ve got a very nice bonus coming. And Logan comes out. All good things!

  • Nounverb911
  • MynameisBlarney
    • wait! what?
      • Dude, Canadian geese are the biggest assholes of the bird world

        • wait! what?

          Wild Keas give them a run for their money.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          and not just because they are Canadian…

          ducks, srry

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          NEVER LET YOUR CHILD PAY SOCCER. Canadian geese love soccer fields.

        • DrBigHead

          And poop! Oh my God they can Poop!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Buncha hosers.

        • magyar of infinite power

          You’ve apparently never been around cockatoos. Noisy, filthy and they can take off a finger if the mood strikes.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Lawn carp. I’ve seen them destroy a few public parks in the Bay Area. They eat the grass down to the dirt and crap everywhere. If there was any critter that would inspire me to take up hunting, it’s the Canada goose

        • Querolous

          Peacocks are the most obnoxious.

      • NastyBossetti

        You’re giving yourself away. Everyone knows it’s Canada goose, not Canadian goose.

  • Nounverb911
    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      North Korea is the Peaksville, Ohio of Asia. And its a good thing Marshal Kim, a real good thing…

  • Nounverb911
  • Oblios_Cap
    • BadKitty904

      Last I heard, he was looking for his spine…

      • magyar of infinite power

        Waiting for his nuts to descend

  • o’look Skwerl!
    • jodyleek

      They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
      Mysterious and spooky…

    • Red Bird Ω

      Shouldn’t it be just The Black House?

  • bookish

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/sirenabergman/2017/02/28/the-news-sites-on-the-far-left-and-far-right-may-be-owned-by-the-same-people/#6f0addd86eaa

    According to a report published today by BuzzFeed, several these sites are owned by the same company, and in one blatant instance appear to have published almost identical stories, with a partisan slant targeting demographics. After reports last week that Kellyanne Conway was to be sidelined from TV, two hyperpartisan websites published remarkably similar stories.

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/craigsilverman/how-the-hyperpartisan-sausage-is-made

    • Claire

      Huh. I wonder what their respective readerships and rates of engagement look like. Hand over your data, Shady Company.

  • bookish

    Moldy little fellows. I didn’t know they would eat anything but eucalyptus.

    • cheetojeebus

      dats koalas!

    • BadKitty904

      I think that’s their pref. But they’re koalafied to consume other items, in a pinch.

  • Vienna Woods

    OMG people, Amazon Prime Canada now includes teh videos!!! I can haz Man in the High Castle now!!

    • wait! what?
      • The Farce Side

        For serious?? I let my subscription go last year bc it was too hard to proxy the US videos anymore.

    • Shrieking Denizen

      The second season was made available recently. I’m done watching it.
      The streaming has become excellent, at least with my provider (bell fibe). It wasn’t watchable at first,

    • Celtic_Gnome

      We here in what used to be the United States have had Man In the High Castle for quite some time, and, while Ms. Gnome has watched it, I can’t bring myself to. Everytime I walked through the room while it was on, it looked like she was watching C-Span.

  • writersbloc

    Wow, that’s Maddow piece. That’s some serious shit.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat
    • wait! what?

      It’s only a matter of time before Scooter Libby is brought in to handle the PR fallout for Donald’s administration. Fun fact; Libby got his license to practice law reinstated just before the presidential election.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I had a friend who moved downtown and bought a scooter to get around through downtown traffic. He named it Libby.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      In any other Republican administration he’d have been lucky to land a second-tier job in a third-tier agency.

      Handing out towels in the men’s restroom?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I can’t martial a list of facts to support my opinion, but I believe that in a cataclysmic WWIII type event, The US might win, but would suffer terribly and end up diminished, even without the use of nuclear weapons. I think we are where Britain was before WWI, overconfident and smug in the belief in our own superiority.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        And following that war, the UK (and France) found the cost had been higher than imagined. It affected them for decades and in some ways still does.
        (reading histories of the Great War and the run up to it will do that to you)

    • Some days i laugh bitterly. Some days i fight. Today i am severely depressed and like the sloth plan to do very little except cuddle and drink.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        I spent all of Sunday binge watching Anthony Bourdain and visualizing life anywhere else. It did me good. I hope you can find some peaceful and happy distractions. We’ll mind the resistance while you’re out :-)

  • Sheepshagger

    This is the hot item at IDEX. For winning hearts and minds and keeping other body parts off your fierce beard. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e27e33e158595ff8ef62ce83b55ed32f9fbefbc080cbe106ee0a0bd3a1546d81.jpg

  • NastyBossetti

    “The failing and evil Washington Post investigated claims of voter fraud in New Hampshire and couldn’t find anything. FAKE NEWS! Conspiracy!”
    Of course not. Everyone knows voter fraud means brown people voting. Have you ever seen any brown people in New Hampshire? I lived there for 26 months, and I didn’t.

  • janecita

    If Sanders doesn’t scream “You lie,” At Trump tonight, I will be seriously disappointed!

    • BoziSpicer

      Unfortunately, anyone who is NOT a republican will be too civilized to do this, even though it would be the proper thing to do.

      • magyar of infinite power

        And that is why we keep losing seats. Fuck these fuckers, we need to start playing to win.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I’d prefer to see every dem stand up and turn their backs to him… then maybe form a conga line out of the room.

  • Beowoof14

    Fortunately for me, the Sabres are playing tonight so I won’t be watching Darth Cheeto.

    • chortlingdingo

      I’m going to go see Lego Batman. It’s oh so tragic that I won’t be able to watch Lord Dampnut run his mouth.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Fortunately for me, nothing interesting is happening and I still won’t be watched Hair Furor.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Chadwells

      Don’t worry…Trump will defend the low numbers by claiming his supporters are better people and have jobs to go to….which is side splitting funny!!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Just saying, one side of this thing schedules actions for weekends.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      That reminds me of the time in a Victor Borge show when a single member of the audience suddenly claps at one of his jokes, and Borge pauses for a brief moment and says: “When this ovation has died down…”

      • Doug Langley

        I once saw Phyllis Diller in Vegas. Funny act. One joke, though, I was the only one in the whole room who laughed. Embarrassing.

    • DUH! Those old white retirees have jobs caring for their grandchildren because their parents can’t hire a maid, or shove them into “affordable” child care facilities.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      That’s a massively diverse group! I see everyone from old white men to old white women represented there! Truly, a melting pot…

    • DahBoner

      Yup those are MASSIVE Americans!

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Trump thinks the “revved up economy” will pay for all the wars he’s DEFINITELY not going to be starting anytime soon.

    A leaky prostitute raises all little boatmen.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Speaking of voting rights, Jeff Sessions’s Justice Department doesn’t think voter ID laws in Texas were racisit…enough.

    There, FTFY.

  • ariel_gee_398
    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Ha! Fucking DeVos needs to stick her head into the mouth of grizzly vote!

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    The Yemen raid is now worse than Benghazi. A Navy Seal and a bunch of civilains are dead because Trump had to wave his tiny dick around. Theres a reason Obama declined this operation. At least Benghazi just happened, no one could have seen it coming or anticipated it. I sadly think theres going to be a lot of dead sons and daughter so Trump can feel more manly.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      It’s hard to tell since he speaks gibberish, but did he throw the generals under the bus then in the next sentence praise them?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yep, depends on whos he’s taking to. If their in the room, “nobody loves ya like me baby!”. If he’s getting batted around, “the generals suck!”

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      There was an article yesterday, I can’t remember where, saying Trump wasn’t even in the room to watch the thing go down. He apparently ordered it to go ahead and got some updates during a meal.

      • cmd resistor

        I read he was not in the situation room and that he tweeted something that was later erased, possibly to cover up fact that he was sitting around tweeting stupid shit while this thing was going down. I had to look it up — he tweeted about some upcoming interview and they claimed they took it down because it had the wrong time. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4254284/Mystery-Trump-s-deleted-tweet-Yemen-raid.html

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          oh FFS. This effin guy.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Obama by the way would stay in the briefing room at all times or at least would be kept informed at all times

    • magyar of infinite power

      The people that could see Benghazi coming were the ones with their hair on fire over the security budget cuts.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Morning Dominic! Is “kneed deep” a new Wonkette thing, or should that have been “knee deep.” Iz not sure as I’m only on coffee #1.

    Have a good one!

    • wait! what?

      Just another Gwinn brilliancey; pay it no mind. Whereas knead deep refers to awesome bread fetus manipulation or an almost pornagrafic massage.

  • CeeQ

    So here are my questions. Do we think the Russia thing will eventually be his undoing? I’ve no confidence in Congress doing anything but I wonder if the steady leaks are an indication that no one is loyal to him and eventually it will all blow up. With impeachment votes, naturally :)

    It’s just really astonishing that there is some
    new detail every day on the Russian connection. Is someone taking notes? Will there be a big reveal? Or will this wretched cliff hanger last four years and then fizzle to nothing. I see activity within Congress and certain Republicans murmuring about this and that but I highly doubt they will do anything remotely in the direction of “the right thing”.

    TL;DR – when will we all wake up from this nightmare??!!!!

    • magyar of infinite power

      It may not come from Congress, but RICO charges maybe? Money laundering? Tax evasion? Fraud? AOT,K?

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Wouldn’t those charges have to come via the DOJ? Does anyone expect Son of the Confederacy “Beauregard Jefferson Sessions the Third” to do anything?

        • magyar of infinite power

          Most can come from states

    • Lefty Wright

      We will wake up when the GOP starts losing elections because of Trump. Then he will be gone in a flash. After all, the Republicans place staying in power over anything. If they will betray the country to retain their grip on power, they will betray Trump. And in Trump’s case, they have lots of ammunition.

      • CeeQ

        Agree with this. Hoping they realize he’s poison way before 2018…

      • CeeQ

        Got my hopes up when sack of poo Issa started whining but then realized it’s Issa. He’ll betray anyone for $5 so yeah….but then again, maybe if even he’s somewhat turned off now, the rest of them will soon be too?

    • Thaumaturgist

      The Russia story “has legs.”

      • CeeQ

        Agree. I just can’t wait for him to be taken down cuz of it. Hope it happens soon.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Congress will act when their jobs are threatened by not acting.

    • DahBoner

      Alan Morton Dershowitz claims it’s only a 4 on the level of concern and a 0 on legality.

      Has he never read the definition of Treason in The Constitution? What a dumbfuck weasel.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Douchowitz lost me over the DNC Chair comments. Is he senile?

  • SweetDeeKat

    Dom, you are amazing. Made me damn near pass out at the beginning, and brought me back from the edge of death with RBG and more. Nice.

  • CeeQ

    OT but Shanzgood – any news on baconzgood?

    Also, not sure if you got an email from me – if not let me know and I’ll try again. Would love to drop him a line.

  • theblackdog

    The Bishops of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington and Episcopal Diocese of Virginia came out with a joint statement condemning the bomb threats at Jewish schools and centers over the last few weeks: https://www.edow.org/about/bishop-mariann/writings/2017/02/28/bishops-make-joint-statement-bomb-threats-jewish-schools

  • wait! what?

    The 5th generation fighter debacle will deplete global defense budgets quicker than any nuclear arms race.

    There was a great quote from a bad show that goes something like this; 20 years from now the US will have developed a fighter that can single-handedly destroy the entire Russian air force, but it will be so expensive only one can be built.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And Lockheed Martin and Boeing will both go bankrupt trying to build it anyway.

      • bupkus23

        Go bankrupt? Hell, no – they’ll bankrupt the rest of the country while continuing to pull down record profits – and still end up with an unworkable mess…

        • DahBoner

          The ONLY reason to go bankrupt is to screw employees pensions (what pensions?) Or to screw creditors. Or maybe evade EPA liability.

          • bupkus23

            Well, clearly, they won’t have to worry about EPA liability for long….

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Unless you know how those companies are managed. How about the executives and CEO’s will make a killing while the companies go bankrupt.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        I have two words for you: Cost plus.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          And said super jet will be deatroyed by the equivalent of an Ewok with a sling shot.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Nazi Wonder Weapons Libelz!11!111!
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wunderwaffe

  • magyar of infinite power

    Who’s liveblogging the “festivities” tonight? (Please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t make us watch)

    • Not sure…all of us? Sort of?

      • BrendaKay

        You need to watch in shifts so you all stay sane!

    • Red Bird Ω

      I can’t stand that man’s voice. He always sounds angry so I won’t be watching.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      I’ll be distilling some shine. I’ll be here, hopefully, for the afters.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I will be fapping to non-political pron.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Jose Ismael Torres and Kayla Rae Norton sentenced 35 years for terrorizing 8 year old birthday with confederate flags

    Torres was sentenced to 20 years, with 13
    of them in prison, for aggravated assault, terroristic threats and
    street gang terrorism.

    Norton, who is the mother of Torres’s
    children, was sentenced to 15, serving six, for terroristic threats and
    street gang terrorism.

    http://www.relatably.com/m/img/grumpy-cat-memes-good/41622-Grumpy-cat-good-Rl59.jpeg

    • C4TWOMAN

      People need to understand that a hateful language/actions aren’t just being rude(though that’s what I lead with when calling them on it)–they are deliberately threatening someone’s safety, because the implication of screaming f@ggot or n1gger is “I have a right to kill you”.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Well, and they also too had guns.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Yeah, they really were over the top. I would ask what were they thinking, but we know what they were thinking:

          ” *empty space where thoughts should be* “

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            “Hold meh beer”?

    • DahBoner

      “Torres is the 50th most popular surname in the United States and the 11th most popular Spanish surname.”

      No one expects the Spanish Inquisition at Children’s birthday parties

  • Crystalclear12

    So Obama is in charge of the Resistance. Well, I feel better already.

    • C4TWOMAN

      IRK? It’s very comforting to know.

      Thanks Obama!

  • ZangoCrudmonger
  • Red Bird Ω

    My local zoo is getting a 3 toed sloth and will let people take pictures with him. I’m counting the days.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Paul Ryan DOES skip leg day — LOLOLOL — something that dancing nerver does!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    So Barry Bamz is pulling strings in the background? Bela Lugosi is ON IT!

    https://youtu.be/_-8j8c7iL3E

  • Bill Slider

    Not corrupt countries in Africa is an interesting phrase, for which I sincerely wish a good example were AOTK. I’ll let you know when I can identify one of them.

    • David Chaillou

      As in everything, there are degrees in corruption. The ressource-poor countries (ie those which western companies have no incentive in ripping off) usually fare better. Botswana, Cape Verde, Rwanda, Lesotho, Namibia top the 2014 corruption index ranking for Africa.

  • DahBoner

    One Black Kenyan > ∞ White Russians, Billionaire Idiots & Redneck Conservatives
    https://media0.giphy.com/media/l2SpUNb0NN16RadfG/200w.gif

  • Hardly Ideal

    And here I was, afraid that Colbert would lose his groove after The Report. Shows what I fuckin’ know.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Trump is going to pay for the expanded military budget by rooting out waste, fraud and corruption.

    The Department of Waste, Fraud and Corruption is one of Washington’s best-kept secrets. It’s in the basement of the Treasury Building. There are guys who spend all day down there setting fires to piles of $100 bills and telling each other, “I sure hope an honest outsider like Donald Trump doesn’t find out about us!”

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