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P.S.: I am not a crank
P.S.: I am not a crank

We got a bumper crop of Derp this week, so let’s dive right in, put the pedal to the metal, and mix some metaphors while we’re at it. Our Lead Doofus this week is a good old-fashioned email to Evan from a very unhappy reader named “Zach,” who, while he never quite got around to specifying what article set him off, made his displeasure clear with his all-caps subject line: “YOURE A GARBAGE HUMAN BEING”:

I stumbled across your shitty little ”news” site and I was appalled to see such bias. Youre a massive idiot and the rest of your senior staff aren’t much better. Do you have any self awareness? I already know the answer to that; your arrogance speaks volumes. You liberal douchebags think that your job is to push a narrative instead of provide objectivity.

Im sure your lame site’s viewership is already in the toilet, but please realize that they could be attracting a slightly bigger audience of liberal lemmings if you were just reporting facts, without the spin. Save the op-eds for the editorials.

You people are so dim… this kind of malpractice is why the msm is failing; its not a good business strategy for an obscure tras site to use. That why your site will never even approach CNN’s levels of rocky bottom.

Not only that but you seem like one of those older guys whos clinging on to their sense of ego and vanity, even though you’re literally a hallow shell of your younger self.

Youre an all-around lousy person. Id love to whoop that ass.

I usually wouldn’t waste my time emailing some crap editor from some no-name trash ”news” site, but you just piss me off personally. I know your type. Id love to meet your wrinkly ass in person and hash this out.

Whatever. Im already giving you somewhat of a pyrrhic victory just by emailing you at all.

Go lay in the road, dipshit.

Sincerely,

An American

This may be one of our favorite complaints ever, not the least because Old Man Evan isn’t exactly geriatric, though we suppose Zach The American may consider someone in his mid 30s pretty much ancient. Damn it, Yr Dok Zoom is the bitter old fart whos literally a hallow shell of his younger self around here. Ah, but Zach wasn’t finished yet. He almost immediately fired off a triumphant GOTCHA! follow-up:

Subject: P.S. – proof youre as terribel as i say you are

I didn’t even need to skim your shitty site very long to find literal errors… not just factual ones. Its spelled ”moron”, you fucking moron.
You’re the senior (elderly) editor, right? The editor is supposed to edit!

Great job, dipshit.

He’s got us senescent old liberals there. Truly, our wrinkly brains are ashamed.

Our piece on Donald Trump’s exciting new “Deport Everyone” plan received this witty reply on the Twitter Machine from “BATMAN,” who clearly can’t wait to start cleaning up his country and getting rid of not just undocumented immigrants, but other enemies of the American people:

But shouldn’t he be asking his friend Superman for his papers?

Until we received that “proof youre as terribel as i say you are” from Zach (An American), we thought for sure this next one, from “hermio” in response to last week’s Dear ShitFerBrains, would surely be our Top Derp, if only for its second sentence:

Believe me, I can find just as many idiotic statements from the far left as you can find from the far right. I am a conservative with libertarian leanings, and I am a member of Mensa, so I don’t think I would be classified as an idiot. Why am I a conservative? For two reasons: 1) That philosophy is in line with our Constitution, which has served us well for over 200 years, and 2) Conservative economic principles have worked every time they have been tried. Liberal/Progressive economic policies (aka robbing Peter to pay Paul) have failed every time they have been tried. This has been proven globally. For those open minded enough to do some economic research, I suggest careful study of both the Rahn curve and the Laffer curve.

We all had a good laff over the Laffer curve, which has brought prosperity to rightwing enthusiasts worldwide, though not perhaps to anyone else, but the real joy here was “hermio’s” insistence that his Mensa membership erased any chance he might be A Idiot. “Hermio” later went on to assert “The Laffer curve is mathematically impossible to be incorrect,” and angrily denied he was a climate change denier, or even that such a thing exists:

No one I know denies climate change. It is always changing, and has been doing so since our planet came into being. But if you want to learn something about it instead of spouting meaningless personal attacks, study every page and every link of the Geocraft site: http://www.geocraft.com/WVFossils/last_400k_yrs.html

Real scientists adjust their theories to fit the data. But people on your side have been falsifying and adjusting data to fit their theories. That is why their models have failed.

Needless to say, the link goes to a very popular climate change denial website that has lots of charts and graphs, so of course it’s far more smarter than mere peer-reviewed climate science, you fools.

The bulk of our deletia this week was generated by just two posts; for reasons we won’t pretend to understand but are quite happy about, they ended up at or near the top of Bing’s news results, and in came the wingnuts to let us know that Donald Trump had actually won the election, so we had to shut up forever. (Bing is of course the wingnut’s preferred search engine, since Google is run by communists.) Most weeks, our collected deleted comments run about five or six pages in a Word document with really narrow margins. This week, we’ve got 23 pages, most of them on just two articles. We may have to do a supplement.

The first post to get slammed was our piece on Sen. Susan Collins’s suggestion that she just might need to subpoena Lord Dampnut’s income taxes as part of the Senate Intelligence Committee’s investigation of the president’s alleged links to Russia, a place he’s never even heard of. The replies fell into a few general categories: arguments that Donald Trump’s taxes are nobody’s business, or that nobody cares about them except un-American troublemakers; funny jokes about how Collins never went after Barack Obama’s birth certificate; pointed reminders that Sen. Collins is a RINO and possibly a traitor; and generalized whining about how the election is over and Donald Trump won, so no one can question him EVER. Here’s “RK Wall” with some typical thoughts about how none of this is anyone’s business anyway:

  • Obviously, I’m a bit ignorant when it comes to law. No where can I find a law or requirement that a president or candidate is required to disclose his tax returns. If President Trump took advantage of tax loopholes and paid NO TAXES good for him. Bet that the IRS has scrutinized his tax returns and found nothing amiss. Why do you losers persist with this non-issue? YOU LOST… GET OVER IT.
  • To Whomever it concerns: A Subpoena is not issued for fishing expeditions. Please to learn the law before commenting on it.
  • FYI: I am a VET, so I have more than decent healthcare. Maybe if your liberal cowardice had allowed you to volunteer to serve this country, rather than tear it apart, you would realize more…AND have TOP SHELF HEATHCARE, as well.
  • BTW: Save your cheap psychology for someone not bullshit proofed…
  • What is an Electoral Collage? Do you have a scrapbook picturing all the liberal losers’ heads pasted up along side each other, that you hide under your bed with the other boogeyman?

We actually have to sympathize with “RK Wall” on that college/collage mixup; drives us nuts, too. Not quite sure why he would think liberal losers would be a “boogyman” that scares people on Wonket. But he’s right: there’s no law requiring presidential candidates to release their tax returns. Just a forty-year tradition, since Nixon released his taxes even while they were under audit. (Trivia fun: The kerfuffle over his taxes, not Watergate, prompted Nixon to say, “I am not a crook.” You could look it up!) Frankly, we think it would be an excellent law, and will probably be included in some post-Trump set of legal reforms.

Legal scholar “Walter N.” explained that there’s no reason at all for Susan Collins to subpoena Trump’s taxes, since that would actually be an unconstitutional breach of the separation of powers, according to the Constitution that exists in his head. Stupid liberals don’t know ANYTHING about how the Constitution really works:

We already have his tax return info. It’s with the Internal Revenue Service. If there were any problems with the info, it’s the IRS’ function to deal with that. The Legislative Branch (of which Collins is a member) legislates. The Executive Branch (of which the IRS is a part, under the Department of Treasury) executes the legislature that the Legislative Branch legislates. Also, determining whether or not an action of the Executive Branch is Constitutional is a function of the Judicial Branch (of which Collins is NOT a member). It seems that Senator Collins wants to do other people’s jobs when she should be more concerned with her own.

Someone should break it to poor Walter that the legislative branch is also responsible for oversight of the executive branch, and without that power, never could have held all those exciting Benghazi investigations. He also seems to think the only concerns about Trump’s taxes are whether he did the math right, which is not the issue here, Walter.

“Sharon R” chimed in, possibly with the back of her hand to her forehead, to agree with Walter that these monsters have gone too far:

t hank you! what do the all want ……blood…..

Actually, we’d be far more satisfied with paper. And maybe for Donald Trump to behave at least occasionally like an actual president, not a spoiled child. Haha, we are completely joking there. But Donald Trump’s tax returns would be much more informative than his blood, which would at most tell us whether the thing on his head has infected him with some dread crazy-making disease.

More legal reasoning from “daviedave,” who wanted to know if Susan Collins knows anything about how laws work, even:

In order to obtain a supena one must show a crime has happen, did I miss that part?

Well, no. And a congressional subpoena is different from a court’s subpoena, also too. Some Wonket jerk went and pointed out that the word is “subpoena,” and that the word was even right there in the article if “daviedave” wanted to check the spelling. That brought this thought from “stairguage,” who has had just about enough of liberal elites showing off their fancy spelling elitism:

Sit on it jerk your not perfect.

How true this is. “Stairguage” has quite the comment history, including this recent gem at Dead Breitbart’s Home for Scaring White People:

Blacks in general ignore black on black crime.
I no longer care, let them kill each other.

It’s like a Hate Haiku, almost. There’s plenty more Derp to mine from that comment thread, which we’ll hit soon, we promise, but we want to get to our other Derp Magnet this week so we’ll close with this observation from the mellifluously pseudonymed “Dixie Rect”:

100% of people agree, wonkette.com, the silliest website ever!

Were it not for all “Dixie Rect’s” comments on rightwing websites calling people “beta males,” we might have mistaken that for a compliment. But he had some very stern advice at The Hill for George Clooney:

Hey George!
You will address him as President Trump or Mr President!

Or else, apparently.

Our other high-traffic/hi, stupid! post this week was about Great Journalist James O’Keefe’s brilliant demolition of CNN’s unspeakable bias, as revealed by an editor’s having referred to a 100-year old cliche about the proper role of a journalist: “to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” This one got a weird mix of comments. There were plenty of attacks on CNN and defenses of O’Keefe, who, as several folks noted, single-handedly brought down ACORN (with deceptive editing, faked premises, outright lies, and a huge defamation settlement). But a lot of the comments seemed the result of a thought process limited to “Look! A liberal blog! I will now tell them who won the election, or just toss out any rightwing talking points that come to mind!” We can’t spend the whole day copy-pasting, so we’ll have to tackle most of the replies in a later ShitFerBrains Supplement, but here’s a sampling:

From “John,” who really focused in on the flaws in our critique of O’Keefe (but did at least read my author bio!):

  • how easily the liberal propaganda machine controls your simple minds. all of you are complete trash. useless, horribly confused, naïve, lowlife trash. where were all of you when Clintons husband was putting cigars into monica Lewinski?
  • he can take his phd in rhetoric and composition and wipe his ass with it
  • you are a worthless person. youre a traitor. weak minded easily manipulated piece of shit. you morons are still in your echo chamber 3 months after Donald J. Trumps land slide win.
  • all of you are complete trash. useless, disgusting lowlife trash.

Then there was “Sari T,” who just wanted to point out that our article about a rightwing moran making allegations of bias and misdeeds at CNN eight years ago completely missed the important point:

Well, our liberal slanted writer here, with head stiffly stuck up his own behind, failed to point out, that regardless of the liberal taint applied to this expose’ was that…MILLIONS of predominantly black babies were still murder-aborted by these reckless, killing, genocidal, conspiratorial murdering doctors, “…bless their hearts!”

“Jack-clown!”

Yeah! Why isn’t every article about abortion? Don’t you people have even the least clue about how journamalism works? We thought maybe that complete nonsequitur was a clever application of Poe’s Law, but a quick glance at Sari T’s comment history suggests she’s deadly earnest, and devoted to dragging abortion into almost everything, but not absolutely everything. She also understands exactly what the Constitution is all about: Silencing criticism of the president:

Jodie Foster should be investigated for conducting a public event to ‘stage plan’ (or “…engage”) anti-American disruptions of our elected government.

To stage a rally to overthrow the Trump Presidency of our elected president, President Donald Trump, elected by we the people, won’t stand.

We people – we Trumpsters – that have taken back by Constitutional measure, by the vote and have elected President Trump will never permit the destruction of the Constitution, as your actions imply.

And the investigation could get started Monday morning.

Then there was “Reese Witheredpoon” (HAW HAW!) who at least seemed to be paying attention to what the article was about:

It sounds like Doktor Zoom (what an incredibly stupid pseudonym) is trying very hard to portray O’keefe as a fool just to distract us from what we already know – CNN leads the way in lies and fake news.

We’ll close out this week with some thoughts from “Archibald Hooks,” who exposed just what complete frauds we are, and in such detail!

  • What is sad… is that you are so steeped in your destructive ideology, that you can’t grasp reality. Hopefully…. when you grow up… you will realize just how antithetical to democracy and liberty you misguided useful idiots really are.
  • You’re welcome… but… and I really hate to break this to you… the world really doesn’t run on rainbows, and unicorn tears snowflake! Now go run to your transgender bathroom safe space….
  • Hahaha…. you losers just can’t grasp the concept that Crooked Hillary got her ass handed to her by the people that don’t want to destroy this country… (unlike you idiots)

There’s a truckload more from both the Collins and the O’Keefe pieces, and we will definitely bring you further samplings of these courageous patriots’ takedowns of our liberal fascism. Truly an embarrassment of riches proving we are as terribel as they say we are.

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  • Save the op-eds for the editorials

    RESISTANCE! I shall no longer do op-eds in editorials.

    • Me not sure

      …and I promise that I shall never ever be redundant, ever again ever. I SWEAR!

    • WeaselPoo

      Op-ed abuse is a real problem, due to over-subscription.

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        ISWYDT

  • TJ Barke

    Holy christ are there stupid people in the intertubes…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The endless September has been going on for 23 years now, and shows no sign of ever ending.

      • snigsy

        Wasn’t “Endless September” a 1970s movie?

        • Querolous

          “The Hunt for Endless September?”

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      And unfortunately they vote…

    • BadKitty904

      Desperately defending their libeties.

      • TJ Barke

        While committing tranny.

        • BadKitty904

          lol That joke will nevar grow old.

          • Ill-Advised

            Liberty, libelty, what’s the diff?

  • snigsy

    Now my head hurts.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    “Its moron, you moron!” Uh, It’s “it’s” not its you moran!!!

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      Oh, I dunno, maybe it has a moron of his very own?

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Morans can be possessive.

  • tehbaddr

    The highlight of my week! That and I have the day off, maybe I’ll shave!

    • calliecallie

      You have the day off, so no need to shave. Enjoy.

      • tehbaddr

        But, it’s the only day I have to fully manscape!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The “moran” construction always trips them up.

  • Mary Sandoras

    I don’t know about the blood of 45. It could expose to the world that he’s a shape shifting lizard man baby.

  • BadKitty904

    For a gaggle that’s incessantly yapping about “English First,” you’d think the Teabaggers would learn how to speak and write it.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Treg Brown

        What so proudly we hail’d at the twilight’s last gleaming…

        • BadKitty904

          You realize that these people have absolutely no idea what the lyrics of our National Anthem actually mean?

          • Left-wing Fascist Ron

            Something about launching ICBMs?

      • Stella Thomas

        What are they going to call El Paso? They will have to change the names of half the towns and rivers in the freaking nation. Des Moines, Wapsipinicon River, Rio Grande. Muy complicado, man.

        • Left-wing Fascist Ron

          Some time back I found myself in suburban Chicago. I was chatting with a fellow in a hobby store and idly mentioned that my next stop was in ‘day plenn.’ He laughed and told me it was locally pronounced ‘des ˈplānz.’ I vowed not to make a similar error if I ever found myself in ‘day mwenn.’

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          And then on to the Tribal names like Arkansa, Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, the Dakotas, Idaho, Utah, Minnisota, Illinois. That’s just the states with Tribal names. Just wait til the get to the cities, rivers, and bayous.

          • Stella Thomas

            Yes, it will be a whole ‘nother CFk Hopefully that will keep them busy for a while, but I doubt it

      • Ill-Advised

        I’m surprised he didn’t spell it with an “e.”

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        I’ve read the Consitution. I was particularly interested in the Amendents.

        • BadKitty904

          We the Peeple…

          • Villago Delenda Est

            E plebnista!

          • Kurn

            I saw what you did there…..

          • Lori

            Don’t you mean “Wee The Peeple”?

        • ariel_gee_398

          Trump’s favorite part was the Pee-amble.

        • folderol

          … in order to fund a more prefect onion…

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      ‘Learn’?

    • tinker12
      • Ill-Advised

        That right there, that is some fine moraning.

        • tinker12

          Our signs are so much better than their signs.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        I have always said No to Socilism, and so has my spell-checker.

        • OneYieldRegular

          I too have always said no to Socilism. I mean, who wants a syringe sticking in their face? Plus, those injections just make your lips look like dead slugs.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Maybe he meant Sac-a-lait, which is a great Louisians panfish.

    • Nounverb911

      Two words: Sarah Moosalini Palin.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Always, always remember this before responding to a Rightie WooWoo or Repuke Trumpanzee. In it lies the futility of the endeavor:

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7ftgys3Na1rn88ts.gif

  • calliecallie

    “The Executive Branch (of which the IRS is a part, under the Department of Treasury) executes the legislature…”
    I expect that is coming, if we stay on the current track.

  • Martini Ambassador

    You people are so dim… this kind of malpractice is why the msm is failing; its not a good business strategy for an obscure tras site to use. That why your site will never even approach CNN’s levels of rocky bottom.

    I admit, I’m confused. Wonkette is more or less “tras” than CNN? Is that bad?

    In any event, I think we are a lot more trans.

    • BadKitty904

      Perhaps the author was writing in tongues?

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        Certainly thinking in tongues.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Forked tongues.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’m going to with, he meant “trash”
      Let’s start a pool, Dok can email the guy and we’ll pick a winner!

      • doktorzoom

        As someone who’s fluent in Typo (I write more of my stuff in it than I care to admit), I’m going with “trash” too.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          Yesterday, I was reading a guide to legal writing written by some cranky old judge. After a few paragraphs on typos and “college” vs. “collage” type errors, I noticed he made one of his own: “chance” vs. “change”.
          Had to have a little chuckle over that. NO ONE is exempt from the laws of “whoops”.

          • doktorzoom

            The odds of committing a typo increase greatly when one is writing a spelling flame.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I am a conservative with libertarian leanings, and I am a member of Mensa, so I don’t think I would be classified as an idiot.

    You sad summer child. I’m sure you don’t.

    Tax returns are going to matter a lot more when at least four states won’t let you on the ballot without releasing them. Felicias will be dropping like flies.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      libertarian = idiot, or Ramsay Bolton wannabe.

    • Nounverb911

      ” I am a member of Mensa”
      Sounds he’s bleeding from his whatever.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Am I the only one who hears this in the voice of Jar Jar Binks?

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          “Meesa member a Mensa”, perhaps?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Mensa rights advocate.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Isn’t Mensa basically a honeypot for idiots? If you brag about being in a mail-in organization…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think MENSA was valuable in the days before teh ARPANET when it was difficult for non-academic geeks to find each other.

      • PubOption

        I thought that it was something of an Asperger’s Social Club.

      • SweetDeeKat

        I joined in college because they had awesome parties (read: people DTF). Found a hot guy one night and been with him ever since. 40 years this spring.

  • Nounverb911

    “That why your site will never even approach CNN’s levels of rocky bottom.”

    So that’s a compliment, right?

    • BadKitty904

      Not bein fluent in Gibberish, I couldn’t say.

    • calliecallie

      Rocky bottom sounds like a place where there’s plenty of moonshine, so maybe?

      • Persistent Demme

        Does Sponge Bob live there?

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        I think the Rocky Bottom is 2 docks down from the Foggy Bottom.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It’s a race to the bottom of the bottom

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Ass over tea-kettle. Ahoy!

        • LucindathePook

          And a pole apart from Rocky Top.

          • Amy!

            But it’ll always be home sweet home to me.

      • doktorzoom

        They may be in Constant Sorrow, but they’re no Soggy Bottom Boys.

        • Vienna Woods

          Maybe they think you should be mass communicatin’!

      • Khavrinen

        The Big Rocky Candy Bottom?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It means we’re below rock bottom. We’ve successfully broken the laws of physics

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Well, we’re certainly drilling for crude!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Pfft – at Wonkette, we get crude effortlessly.

          • TheAmazingAmateurHousekeeper

            Gives “drill, baby, drill” a whole new meaning.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          And alls we was doing was huntin’ fer some food and up from the ground came some bubblin’ crude. Oil that is. Texas Tea.

    • Ill-Advised

      It’s all true. Despite the eager and enthusiastic contributions from Deleted (and disappointed) commentators contributing mightily to the cause, we surely can’t approach the Rocky Bottom.

  • Left-wing Fascist Ron

    Dok promised:

    There’s a truckload more from both the Collins and the O’Keefe pieces, and we will definitely bring you further samplings of these courageous patriots’ takedowns of our liberal fascism.

    Take your time. It was unpleasant enough to encounter the first time, TYVM.

  • Persistent Demme

    I love it when they don’t get the joke like: “a idiot,” or “moran.”
    Or, for some reason, that we should be objective (like, say, Breitbart).

    • Stella Thomas

      I’m really starting to think there might be an IQ issue on the right

      • yyyaz

        They’re pissed that others have one.

    • Amy!

      Ayn Rand showed us all how important being objectivist is, right?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Is there something inherently evil about the apostrophe that makes homeschoolers refuse to use it?

    • snigsy

      Or sprinkle it like pixie dust?

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        Theyre all member’s of the Guild of Greengrocer’s.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Perhaps it’s the mark of the beast in their alternate universe.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        In which case, I’m doom’ed.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      dooin wurdz rite iz hard.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      There are rules about how to use it. That you have to learn. That’s why.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Fucking nanny state libruls, oppressing everyone with their stupid “usage” and “grammar”.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Commas were hard enough. Now you expect us to learn how to use floating commas?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        If only we could make things like commas and apostrophes more appealing to them somehow. I dunno….maybe deep-fry them, or provide an option to supersize them with fries and a large Coke.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Make them available in pink camo or stars and bars patterns?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Ooooh! I know at least ONE former Alaska half-term governor and failed vice-presidential candidate who’d buy ’em in bulk.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Hell, she’d probably slap her name on them and sell them herself, her need to grift forcing her into a rare embrace of the English language.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Especially if she’s knocked back a few wine cooler’s and diet pill’s.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Dont forget the oxy’s.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The oxy’s….dear God, how could I have forgotten! The entire economy of Wasilla depends on it. Makes me want to go out and do some public brawlin’ and rasslin’ at a party just thinking about it.

          • ariel_gee_398

            An understandable impulse. Just make sure to steer clear of bath salts. And write the phone number of a lawyer or friend you can count on for bail in sharpie on your arm before you head out. You can’t count on getting the Palin treatment.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            No prob…I always keep a Sharpie in m sock. You never know when a member of my adoring public might request an autograph.

            What’s become of the the WasillaBilly Queen of late, btw? Last I heard she was trying to get in on some television judge show grift.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Meanwhile, your poor dog probably wonders why you keep signing the tennis balls for her instead of just throwing them.

            I think Kellyanne fills their token female quota now, so Sarah’s been shunted aside. My guess would be she’s smuggling meth in moose carcasses.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’ll have you know Molly keeps every tennis ball I’ve ever signed for her in a very special toy basket right next to her dog bed.

            Irrelevance has got to be a fate worse than death for an attention-slut like $arah. Wouldn’t be surprised if she robs a bank or something to get herself back in the news.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Dogs are like that, too polite to hurt your feelings.

            She always reminded me of those advertising mascots come to life in the Simpsons Halloween episode from way back. She might cease to exist if we stopped paying attention to her. The only thing worse would having to work a regular job.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I dunno…she’s a proud girl. She gets mad when I have to leave for work in the morning, so she turns her head the other way when I try to give her a pet goodbye.

            I watched The Simpsons the other night for the first time in a while…amazed at how spot-on snarky brilliant that show still is. When Drublic Jr. was little, I wouldn’t allow him to watch The Simpsons until I judged he was old enough to grasp the concepts of irony and satire.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Poor girl doesn’t like being left behind, that’s understandable. I have a cat with abandonment issues. Whenever I’ve get back after having been gone for a while, he launches himself up into the air and expects me to catch him and carry him around until he’s mollified.

            I haven’t watched The Simpsons in ages, but bits like that have really stuck with me. I had a teacher who thought we shouldn’t be allowed to watch it because it was too crude. Had she heard the way half the class spoke when outside school, she would have known the damage was already done on that score.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Ha! I don’t think of cats as beasties that would dare vulnerability to humans. Molly is actually quite independent. She has her own dog door and a fenced in yard, so she pretty happily spends her day napping, chasing lizards, and obsessing about the dog next door. Then there’s this illustrative difference between the two critters: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/714d2c4d4e598f5ee7b25ef888f4a301507374d0ded7f299a92989dcd0da2d04.png

          • ariel_gee_398

            My friend once described him as “free from the usual feline solipsism,” which I think is pretty on the nose. He also knows his name and comes when he’s called. All in all, closer to dog on the aloofness spectrum than cat.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            There may be hope for you yet. Does your cat have a name? And where would he stand on this one: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2d405275e225e4f0502034b3cc67d92d95bdbc54ca24181a5669db80345d8fd4.jpg

          • ariel_gee_398

            I like dogs, too. Pretty much all critters are okay in my book – that’s why I don’t eat them. I’d be happy to have any of them as companions, unless they needed to be fed other live animals.
            His name is Gus, and I have another one named Norman Mailer. I’m absolutely sure they would both eat me if necessary, but I flatter myself to think they’d feel bad about it if they did.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Norman Mailer. Should I assume that he needs a lot of affirmation and sometimes beats up other cats who don’t show him proper deference and fawning? Sorry.

            Bear with me while I overshare a bit? I have a friend here..known her for many years. We get along great; occasionally get together for a bite and to hang out and chat…super smart, lib, single often enough, very nice looking. I’ve had any number of other friends wonder aloud to me why she and I don’t get together. Wondered myself a time or two. Though I am admittedly a serious dog lover, like you, I love animals and am mostly wiling to tolerate all God’s beasties. She is a cat lover, but also thinks dogs are minions of Satan. As much as we like one another….there’s just vibe, some element of syncretism that isn’t there. The only thing I can think of-and it’s more complicated than simply the dog/cat thing-is there are subtle differences in our cosmologies and personalities that are attributable to the differences in our feelings about dogs and cats. I hope I don’t sound like I’m mentally ill.

            OK…my last word-and cartoon-on the subject: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/010a88077a6ae0b18c2f9b9965530be16037b9f329afd85dfe502e4e29ec8bb4.jpg

          • ariel_gee_398

            He can definitely be a bully and demands attention on his schedule. I named him that in part because I thought it’d fairly amusing to say things like “Norman Mailer, don’t clean your butt on the table” or “Norman Mailer has his head stuck in my shoe.” He’s one of my favorite authors, but obviously hugely problematic. I love the way he wrote about people, but am endlessly frustrated by the fact that he never realized women are just people.

            I don’t think that sounds too crazy. I would guess that it’s not just the cats/dogs thing, but that someone who could dislike any one type of animal views the world in a fundamentally different way. It’s almost like being prejudiced in some ways – you’re focusing on differences between critters and making judgments based on those differences instead of looking for the commonality or appreciating their uniqueness. If you really love all animals, you can look at any one and find the good, or at least the strangely endearing.

            I like that one, though I’m slightly concerned that the “cat” looks more like a pointy-eared squirrel. Rabies shots are very painful, from what I hear.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That’s hilarious. I’ve never thought about that, in terms of naming a pet. Gets me to thinking….maybe I could name my next dog Iggy Pop. Iggy can be, apparently, one of the more intimidating people on the planet. Even Henry Rollins is intimidated by him,and Henry doesn’t intimidate easily. It could be fun to say, “Iggy Pop, WHO got in the trash?” and see him do an army crawl out of the kitchen.

            Yeah, Norman. Nobody ever said he wasn’t a great writer, but what a bundle of insecurity and bluster! Didn’t he end up stabbing one of his wives in the middle of some drunken branigan?

          • ariel_gee_398

            It definitely provides an added level of entertainment.
            Iggy Pop is, perhaps unsurprisingly, a pretty great dj. If you’ve never heard, he has a show on one of the BBC radio stations. Super eclectic, which most shows on that station are. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03yblbx

            He did stab one of his wives. Alcohol and toxic masculinity make for a dangerous combination.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            No kidding? I’ll have to look that up. Apparently, Ig’s a bit of a split personality. There’s “Jim Osterberg” who’s a polite, courtly aw-shucks Michigan hick (Rollins does a wicked imitation of his upper midwest accent), then there is Iggy Fucking Pop. I sometimes throw in a bluegrassy version of “I Wanna Be Your Dog” in shows with my band.

            I lost my patience with Norman after that whole fiasco with the convict dude….was it Jack Abbott? Mailer’s attempts to prove what a macho badass he was resulted in the death of an innocent man.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I think the radio personality is a bit closer to the former, but he also just knows a lot and tells interesting stories.

            Yeah, if I weren’t already a fan, I probably would avoid his writing because of all that. What I find interesting, though, is that in contrast to someone like Hemingway, who also was all about the he-man woman hating, he managed to make his (male) characters complicated and vulnerable. Not that that justifies his behavior…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Whenever I’ve heard Iggy interviewed, he’s always Jim…very funny, engaging and approachable.

            As to the other, how much about an artist’s personal life should we take into account when evaluating their work? It’s a question I think about a lot, and damned if I have an answer. I mean, I won’t ever see a Mel Gibson movie (duh! GIANT dickhead), but I’ll happily gawk at a Caravaggio painting, even though he was reputed to be not only an exceedingly unpleasant human being, but quite possibly a serial killer (although, to be fair, a SLIGHT difference in talent there). All those abstract expressionist guys were bad drunks and pretty horrible to women. I once heard a guy rant that MLK’s whole message was bullshit because he was a bit of a womanizer….I told the dude to fuck off. So I dunno…if you have any insight, feel free to enlighten me!

          • ariel_gee_398

            Hey now, I thought he only killed that one guy for sure? Whether the artist is living or dead makes a big difference to me. If the person is living and will financially benefit from your consumption of their art, then I think you can view yourself as supporting not only their art, but their lifestyle as well. And if a person hasn’t made sufficient changes or amends (like, say, Roman Polanski or Woody Allen), then I’m comfortable boycotting their art. With someone like Caravaggio, what would be the point? In appreciating his work, I don’t feel like I’m elevating or excusing his behavior.

            Caravaggio is one of my favorites, actually. I was in Florence several years ago and had planned a day at the Uffizi, saving the Caravaggio room for last. One of the people I was with (who was at the time around 30) literally pouted through the entire time there, and when we got to the Caravaggios asked me why we couldn’t just skip them and leave already. That was the last trip we ever took together.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I thought I read once that he was linked to deaths of a number of prostitutes….but maybe I’m confusing him with Donald Trump. Good point…the dead/alive distinction. Speaking of which, I used to be a fairly big Woody Allen fan…dead to me now. I know Mia’s a little crazy too, but WHAT a fucking creep.

            How wonderful for you to go to Florence to see such wonders in person…although too bad to be accompanied by a buzzkill stick-in-the-mud. How did you refrain from throttling he/she in their sleep? Did you see Brunelleshci’s Dome as well? Architectural/mechanical wonders fascinate me as much as fine art does, maybe more. One of my before-I-die goals is to see the clocks built by John Harrison that solved the problem of determining longitude. I believe they are kept at the Royal Maritime Museum in Greenwich, England. A dear friend from college has been living in Parma since….essentially an Italian guy now, for all intents and purposes. He’s got an open invitation for me to visit, but somehow I’ve never managed.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Hm. I know that he and the guy he killed were alleged to be dueling over the affections of a prostitute, but I don’t recall hearing about a string of murders. Doesn’t mean he wasn’t, though. Having the favor of the church could buy you a lot of get out of jail free cards back in the day.

            The whole Woody Allen thing is just…He still doesn’t understand that it’s not the age difference, it’s the fact that he was supposed to be a father figure (and not in the George Michael way) to her. I had a hard time getting into his movies even before I knew how much of a creep he was. They seemed to me to be mostly cinematic wish fulfillment for him.

            I didn’t go into il Duomo when I was there, just saw the outside. There were only so many ‘boring’ sights I could convince people to see. She was a total nightmare start to finish. She was a nightmare in restaurants, claiming a red meat allergy, and both snide and timid. Your basic ugly American, really.

            Is the Museum of Musical Instruments in Brussels also on your list, or have you been? Musical mechanical wonders surrounded by great beer.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Tough on a trip like that, because you can’t get away from them. I’m not familiar with the Museum of Musical Instruments in Brussels, but I do know that if I get to Belgium, I’m mostly going to be focused on the beer. The Belgians-and the Trappist monks-came close to perfecting the art of brewing beer.

            There’s a new-ish Musical Instrument Museum in Scottsdale, 110 miles or so from Tucson. It’s really cool…instruments from all over the world, although I spent most of my time in the Ugly American section. Great stuff…a Martin guitar exhibit, one of the Nudie embroidered suits that Buck Owens used to wear back in the day. A couple of Dick Dale’s old Stratocasters. I really soaked it all in.

          • ariel_gee_398

            The one in Brussels has everything from primitive folk instruments from around the world through crazy electronic contraptions built in the 70s. And they give you a headset that plays the sound of the instrument when you stand in front of it. Not too much of a focus on Americana, understandably. It only takes a couple of hours to get through – still leaves you plenty of time for beer. And technically the Cantillon brewery is a museum, so that counts as culture *and* beer.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Culture and beer sounds like my idea of heaven. Although, on a technical level, beer is a culture, both socially and biologically.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And fuck Woody Allen, btw. You are so right…he seems willfully defiant about the fact that, regardless of any biological/legal connection, you don’t sleep with someone who used to call you “daddy”. I don’t know wtf went on in her head…I can’t judge because she was just a vulnerable child who no doubt got horribly manipulated and taken advantage of….but I guess they’re still together. The whole thing makes me want to barf.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Yeah, they’re still together, because she was perfectly trainable and willing to be the submissive partner he was looking for. The entire thing is just gross. Not to mention the allegations that he abused another one of Mia Farrow’s daughters. And he seems oblivious about it – he honestly doesn’t see anything he’s done as wrong.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s the celebrity thing we touched on earlier. Whenever someone I know mentions a famous person, be it a film star, musician, or athlete, and says “he seems like a good guy”, my first thought is “probably not”. The famous and wealthy live in such an insulated, rarified world of flatterers and acolytes, where their assholistic impulses are never called out or challenged. I sure there are real, genuinely decent people among them, but it would take a tremendous amount of self-awareness and balance to avoid the pitfalls. In the case of superstar athletes these days, many of them are people who have been entitled and excused of their bad behavior almost from birth.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Well, in his case I think it’s partly that, but I also think he would have done the same sort of thing if he weren’t famous. It’s his particular notion of what he’s due in a “partner” – someone who’s not really a partner at all, who will appreciate him and accept a lack of balance in their relationship. A friend of mine had a boyfriend once who dumped her because he couldn’t be with anyone who would take attention off him when they entered a room. He told her that. I think Woody Allen is the same way – he’s so insecure that he can’t handle a relationship with an equal.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Get out! You weren’t homeschooled, were you? I’m amazed a public school teacher could be that naive about her charges!

          • ariel_gee_398

            Goodness no. This particular teacher just didn’t have a great grasp on the sophistication level of her students. She had, a few years earlier, been the one to break it to me that Santa wasn’t real.

        • artem1s

          gun’s? maybe

      • Skeptical_thinker

        They aren’t floating, they are high.

  • Treg Brown

    “Youre an all-around lousy person. Id love to whoop that ass.”

    ♫ somebody likes E-van, somebody likes you ♫

  • Hemp Dogbane

    “…regardless of the liberal taint…”

    • Nounverb911

      Orly Taintz libelz.

    • tehbaddr

      Don’t be talking about my nether regions like that!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I keep my liberal taint nice and clean, in case friends drop in unannounced.

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        It’s the polite thing to do.

  • tehbaddr

    Zach The American is a Idiot and Moran.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The Trumpanzees seems to be running scared – they don’t WANT anyone to see Il Douche’s tax returns, and they sure as hell don’t WANT to know what sort of dealmaking he did with his bff Pootie. The gist of their whining is “Why can’t you liebruls just stick your heads in the sand, like we’re doing?”

    • Sister the Resister

      The tax return thing kind of blows my mind. He could be doing everything legal, in terms of how he files and what he pays, and STILL be violating either election laws or at minimum the public trust. The IRS isn’t looking at things that broadly, and I would imagine there isn’t even an actual human who examines the returns unless something gets flagged. Doubtless Trump’s returns are submitted electronically, accepted electronically, and cursory examinations are done by computers, and not brains of, you know, humans.

    • willi0000000

      thank you . . . for years i haven’t been able to quite figure out what it is about conservatives.

      it’s all about fear . . . they are afraid of everything!

      as you said, they’re afraid to know just how bad their choice of president* is . . . but they also fear everything else they come in contact with (and lots of things they don’t) . . . like change.

      they all seem to have bought into the lie that there was some magical time in the past when everything was good, unicorns farted rainbows, blacks knew their place, white guys ran everything, Mom stayed at home and baked pies from scratch and raised the otherwise invisible children . . . and even idiots could get a good paying union job.

      what a bunch of losers!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Hermio was one the best trolls ever. He took absence of irony to the level of fucking ART!

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      And kept at it too, digging and digging away at that hole.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “I am a conservative with libertarian leanings, and I am a member of Mensa, so I don’t think I would be classified as an idiot.”

    LOL. I love when people go into unsolicited detail about how they cannot possibly be a idiot.

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      And then immediately prove themselves wrong.

      • Noxious Resistance

        The former always leads to the latter.

    • Treg Brown

      “I am Elmer J Fudd. I own a mansion and a yacht.”

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      …A solid indication that at some point they were asked, “What, are you some kinda idiot?”

    • BadKitty904
    • WeaselPoo

      A girlfriend of mine was aghast when I soundly beat her at Trivial Pursuit five times in a row ( despite knowing jack shit about American sports).
      ” How can you beat me at this? I’m in MENSA!” she protested.
      “Because I can recall a lot of trivia; As a member of MENSA I’d expect you to know the difference between intellect and memory”

      I had to listen to her translate Egyptian hieroglyphs and make her an omelet, as penance for my remark.

  • memzilla Ω

    … how easily the liberal propaganda machine controls your simple minds…

    Neither my ice cube tray nor my Zig Zags have any moving parts, ergo not machines. Kyew Eee Dee For Dipshit, you moran.

  • Nounverb911

    “To Whomever it concerns: A Subpoena is not issued for fishing expeditions”

    Paging Tray Gowdy!
    Paging Tray Gowdy!

    • Bill D. Burger
      • willi0000000

        fishing in a pool of his own flop sweat?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Someone help me. My eyes have rolled out of their sockets again, seeking Madagascar this time, I think…

    • TJ Barke

      Um… Isn’t that the exact purpose of a subpoena? To fish for documents/witnesses that may be/have evidence of wrongdoing?

    • Noxious Resistance

      Unless its a fishing trip to…..BENGHAAAAAAZI!!!1!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Call Sean Hannity!

    • folderol

      Finally, a conservative I can agree with! Assuming there’s enough self-awareness there to see hypocrisy when it hits you like a cream pie in the face.

    • mailman27

      I prefer rubber worms or a crank-bait, myself.

      • Ill-Advised

        I won’t ask which fly said conservative is using.

  • Chadwells

    Poor little fella…I know plenty of morans and idiots who are members of Mensa.

  • MAZS

    The only criteria for claiming online that you are a member of Mensa is being able to correctly name 4 of the 5 letters in Mensa.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      As smart as the kitchen table, they are.

      • Mary Sandoras

        Or a box of rocks.

        • Left-wing Fascist Ron

          Again with the rocks…

          • Mary Sandoras

            I’m on a rock n roll today.

          • Left-wing Fascist Ron

            <golf clap>

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Dear hermio: I could join MENSA if I wanted to, but I went to an “invitational” meeting 35 years ago to see if I would find this group compatible, and everyone there was an arrogant, condescending, egotistical, narrow-minded, 2-dimensional idiot. Just like you, in fact.

    • Jennaratrix

      You know, high IQs are great. I apparently have one myself. But the thing is, all an IQ measures is your ability to problem-solve. It doesn’t mean you’re actually SMART. As every single person who has ever boasted about their high IQ proves when they open their mouths. And yes, I include myself in that number. I’m smart enough to know that there’s a LOT of shit I don’t know, and not a bit smarter.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hey, I’m a lifelong dumbass and look how far it’s gotten me in life! Wait…maybe I should try this post again.

      • AJ Milne

        Yeah… If my IQ _did_ measure at all high (and I’m not saying it does), I’d avoid bringing it up, of late. Embarrassing net commenters have just given the whole thing an unpleasant reputation.

      • bupkus23

        “…But the thing is, all an IQ measures is your ability to problem-solve….”

        Gee – I thought it was only a measure of potential, and so many fail to live up to their potential ( Hermio, you listening? )

      • Vienna Woods

        Word. I have a sister with a really high IQ, and she is without a doubt one of the least smart people I know. And yes, she does have a very high opinion of herself. She once said while we were playing a friendly board game at Xmas “You should just all go with my answer, because I’m always right.” And she was not joking.

        • Jennaratrix

          High IQs often seem to go hand-in-hand with narcissistic tendencies; someone should do a study on that.

          • Vienna Woods

            Oh, she’s a textbook case. The other three of us have had looong conversations about it. And we would have had my mother safely in a nursing home before it became a crisis if she hadn’t stubbornly thought that she knew best, and was taking good care of mum. (she wasn’t)

          • Vienna Woods

            Caring about high IQs often seem to go hand-in-hand with narcissistic tendencies. fify

          • Jennaratrix

            Yeah, that’s more accurate.

          • Ill-Advised

            Mmmm. Drumpf must be regressing to the mean.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I never bothered to learn what my IQ is. I figure it’s either higher than I thought, which means I squandered a lot of opportunities growing up, which would bum me out, or it’s lower than I thought, which means I’m not as smart as I thought I was, which would also bum me out.

        Either way, there’s a better than average chance that I’d be bummed out.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You are right. Also, there are many different kinds of intelligence, and also IQ says nothing about a person’s practical common sense. I have friends who are science geniuses who don’t know how to use a microwave or change the furnace filter.

  • DainBramage

    “Zach The American” seems obsessed with Evan’s ass.

    • Jonny On Maui

      We all are…

    • Sister the Resister

      Aren’t we all?

  • Me not sure

    Somewhat OT : Now that Oscar season is upon us, shouldn’t we have an Academy of Wonkette Arts And Sciences to award Kitten With a Whip statuettes (Wonkscars?) to deserving recipients. Nominations anyone?

    • DainBramage

      Sean Spicer as the Emerging Star in the Renowned Liar category.

      • Me not sure

        Best performance by a yam cassarole. RIIIIP! The surprise winner is an actual yam cassarole. Maybe next year, Donnie. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a87c077f544594be55ea0ea5b45eecc43a090d79e78708d2b5c8f5aaabb3302e.jpg

        • Sister the Resister

          Needz moar bourbon

          (my stepsister makes her candied yams with lots of butter, brown sugar, and a good dose of bourbon. No marshmallows, and it is deeeeelicious.)

          • Amy!

            Candied yams cannot be delicious.

            But the bourbon is an interesting solution to that problem. Add enough of it, and you could be forgiven for believing that the food is edible.

          • Sister the Resister

            Well, I do think yams are delicious, candied or otherwise, except for the ones trying to play “president” of some country none of us recognize.

    • WeaselPoo

      Ummm… how about calling the award a “Kitteh!” ( Cartman voice)

  • Chadwells

    Somewhere Rachel Dolezal is saying “I was a member of the NAACP…so I’m totally black”

  • Jennaratrix

    “as terribel as i say you are” is my new not-really-gotcha when I can’t think of anything smart to say.

    • doktorzoom

      It’s not quite as catchy as “Nasty As They Wanna Be”…

      • Jennaratrix

        But it has bonus terrible grammar and spelling.

  • Markuserektus

    On the topic of shit fer brainz…Jeff Sessions, a former federal prosecutor sworn in this month as the country’s chief law enforcement officer, signaled at his confirmation hearing — and during private meetings in his first days on the job — that he sees a central role for the federal government in combating drug addiction and violence as well as in strict enforcement of immigration laws. On Thursday, Sessions gave the green light to the continued use of privately run prisons, even though the Obama administration had moved to phase them out as no longer necessary given the declining prison population. Sessions, who said last year that “good people don’t smoke marijuana,” warned at his January confirmation hearing that illegal drugs were bringing “violence, addiction and misery” to America, and he pledged to dismantle drug trafficking gangs. (AP via Business Insider)

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      He continued, ‘To this end we will be organising America’s first ever National, or “State,” Police. And it will be covert – a Secret State Police, if you will.’

      • Markuserektus

        I’m getting the impression that CBP is the new Schutzstaffel.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      as some headline I saw noted – they want states rights for transgender peepee laws, but not for marijuana.

      It’s almost as if it’s not really about states rights.

      • Markuserektus

        The gubmint is gonna hold on to their mary jane laws as a total moneymaker; more law enforcement, private prisons and so on.

    • Jonny On Maui

      And the death toll from the drug war continues even though the feds have lost just about every battle. How long are we going to prosecute our citizens for what they put in their own bodies?

      • Markuserektus

        As long as it’s profitable for the government.

        • yyyaz

          As long as it is profitable for the government contributors to the kleptocratic party.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        As long as it’s profitable for the prison-industrial complex.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      It’s amazing how the trump administration is going to stop illegal immigration, deport undocumented immigrants, destroy ISIS, dismantle drug trafficking gangs, and stop crime and human trafficking as though no prior administration had given any thought or enacted any policies to address these problems.

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        And all without actual, you know, staff.

    • Ωbjectifier

      I suppose enforcement of securities law is out of the question.

  • memzilla Ω

    Would it violate Commenting Rules For Radicals if I said that I wished all the Deleted Commenters had to make their way out of an unlit house with a floor made out of toenail clippings and Lego blocks?

    • doktorzoom

      It would in fact be in full compliance. You could even wish for them to die of natural causes after an average lifespan, alone and unloved.

      Or worse, to be struck with self-awareness. Hmmm. Then again, we’re not supposed to wish violence upon anyone…

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      Also too – liberally sprinkled with goatheads.

  • chascates

    Is spelling no longer taught in school?

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      Noe.

    • John Lo

      This is how the Bigly Betsy Devos skool of speling churns out spelers …

      • Khavrinen

        Now that we have alternative facts, why now alternative spelling?

        • Ill-Advised

          Medieval spelling or GTFO.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “I am a member of Mensa,”

    Please post your SAT scores.

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      ‘It’s the same as my IQ, 145!’

      • Me not sure

        Beauty, eh?

    • TJ Barke

      I can’t remember if it was 1270 or 1720…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Mine were more around 1270. Seeing as, at least in the 70’s, 1600 was as far as they went.

  • doktorzoom

    I actually liked Sari T’s insistence that everyone should write more about ‘bortion, especially in articles that aren’t about ‘bortion. This is just for her:

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/maud-pie-SFB2.jpg

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      I completely support Maud Pie’s position on rocks.

      • doktorzoom

        It’s about rocks. They’re ALL about rocks.

  • Nounverb911

    “100% of people agree, wonkette.com, the silliest website ever!”

    And your point is?

  • OrG

    That “BATMAN” is NOT the REAL Batman!

  • rocktonsam

    teh wonket has a senior staff on its fake news paper?

  • BadKitty904

    I am a conservative with libertarian leanings, and I am a member of Mensa, so I don’t think I would be classified as an idiot.

    I’d be tempted to say that being “a conservative with libertarian leanings” is one of the definitions of “an idiot”.

    • artem1s

      That’s A Idiot to you fella

    • folderol

      What would be a conservative Scientologist with libertarian leanings, then? How many grades of derp are there??

      • Ill-Advised

        More than there are grains of sand in the Gobi? Which, I understand, is getting larger every year.

  • Jennifer R

    Reading the Dear-Shit-Fer-Brains, then cruising over to trumpgrets always feels so good.

  • tehbaddr

    “t hank you! what do the all want ……blood…..”.. well yes, that and some dick jokes!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Conservative economic principles have worked every time they have been tried.”
    Mensa, my ass.

  • BadKitty904
    • Bill D. Burger
      • nightmoth

        True. Then there’s the other kind: my husband’s cousin–a wealthy old white woman who lives in a gated community and hates abortion because she’s a non-questioning Catholic. Strange bedfellows, etc.

    • Sister the Resister

      Clearly the lady in blue is the sensible one here.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      That’s gonna make the fire smell funny!

    • tehbaddr

      And not a complete set of teeth collectively.

  • Pisto75666

    “I didn’t even need to skim your shitty site very long to find literal errors… not just factual ones. Its spelled ”moron”, you fucking moron.”

    It makes me laugh how often people miss the use of snark (spelling moron as ‘m-o-r-a-n’ ON FUCKING PURPOSE) when the word snark is IN the website title. If you want CNN (which, CNN isn’t even CNN anymore), GO TO CNN!

    • Jennifer R

      Not only that but how often the picture it references is used here.

      • Pisto75666

        Reading is just SO hard for some people. Not to mention Googling. You have to drag your ENTIRE finger to that Google icon on your phone/tablet etc. THEN click it, THEN type in what you want to search for. It’s just….exhausting.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Or learn to say “OK Google”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Im already giving you somewhat of a pyrrhic victory just by emailing you at all.

    Say, you know who else gave Wonkette a pyrrhic victory?

    • Nounverb911

      Ben Carson’s mis-spelling of pyramid?

    • BadKitty904

      Publius Decius Mus?

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        Publius Valerius Laevinus?

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      You get the sense that the silly thing doesn’t actually understand what happened at Heraclea and Asculum, since we don’t seem to have actually lost anything.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      The Trojans with their horse, or was it condoms? I fergit.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        If it burns…

  • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

    My cat is currently licking a garbage bag, and I still find her smarter than these goons.

  • John Lo

    It sure looks like Hermio’s the moron here …

  • Nounverb911

    Donnie, stop digging you already sound guilty don’t make it worse (dig deep enough you might find Jimmy Hoffa).

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/835916511944523777

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Subject: P.S. – proof youre as terribel as i say you are

    Let’s take spelling lessons from the person who is unfamiliar with apostrophes and the correct way to spell terrible!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/de2078a8486774d6d6f738088c5096104ae77f878bf7aeba9445cac257aa9e98.jpg

  • Count Awesome

    Conservative economic principles seem to be to rob both Peter and Paul.

    • Pisto75666

      And don’t pay anyone.

    • BadKitty904

      And pay GOP “campaign donors”.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Somehow I had it in mind that “I am not a crook” came from the Checkers speech. Thanks for both educating and entertaining me.

  • Crank Tango

    So many smart people critical of teh Wonket.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Sheesh…these Deplorables really ARE terribel, ain’t they?

  • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

    “…MILLIONS of predominantly black babies were still murder-aborted…”

    Abortion: the only time wingnuts pretend to care about black people.

    • TJ Barke

      Pretty much.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Predominantly black? Like, two limbs and a torso?

      • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

        I almost spit my coffee

      • Pisto75666

        Just the ones who’re more mocha/tan/offwhite. The REALLY dark ones, fuck ’em, they’re on their own.

      • tehbaddr

        More than quadroon I think is what they’re getting at. I know horribly racist nomenclature, but to make a point.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’m assuming that what they’re awkwardly getting at is that a disproportionate share of the women having abortions are WOC, but that was a seriously unfortunate way of putting it.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          After all, most Octaroons can move West or North and passé blance. Especially as dark Mediteraneans. They’ve been doing it for 200 years

    • Crank Tango

      They care so much about black on black crime, also.

      • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

        Our “inner cities” make white people a’skeered!!

        • Left-wing Fascist Ron

          Parenthetically: I’ve driven around a lot of American cities. And for some reason I always feel more apprehensive driving around the nice neighbourhoods than when I’m in those ‘inner cities.’ Maybe because I know where I’m more likely to get pulled over by some cop looking to make quota for the month.

          • Clyde Barrow

            Venturing into the gated safe spaces of the doughy white neighborhoods is a no-no. That’s their safe space!

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          My favorite “Wife Swap” was when they brought a white woman to a black family in Atlanta. From the airport, they bypassed the interstate to bring her straight through the hood. Not even one of the “bad” ones, just a road that has a lot of Mom’n Pop stores with homemade signage. Her exclamations of “oh, my” were hilarious and then of course, they brought her to a suburbs with a nice house and two cars.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        All of the people I’ve known who got shot got shot by white guys.

        • Left-wing Fascist Ron

          Michael Moore got a whole book out of pointing out that the only people who have stolen things from him have been white guys in suits.

        • Crank Tango

          Ah yeah I can’t say that, from extremely personal experience, but I also don’t hold it against an entire race what one idiot with a gun might do while out looking for crack money.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            My four were:
            2 in a mass murder
            1 in a stupid party trick
            and one suicide.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Every time I got fired it was a White guy.

    • Paganish

      No, they still don’t care — they’re just like all the OTHER people doin’ stuff the Christianistas don’t approve of :P

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I am a member of Mensa

    You know, there are probably some good people who belong to that organization. I wouldn’t know, however, since the only ones I hear from are the ones who proclaim their membership in it as an attempt to legitimize whatever batshit thing they go on to say next FFS.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I pretty much figured out that it was a scam to take money from gullible people back in junior high, when I was already acing their silly test

      • zerosumgame0005

        same here, my mom so wanted me to join so she could brag about it, but I really could not make myself give a crap about it.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        From their website:

        “Discovering that you have a high IQ can have a wealth of positive effects on a person. Not only does a high IQ look good on CVs and applications, it can provide a significant confidence boost.”

        If I ever saw an IQ score on a CV or job application I would immediately move on to the next one.

        The confidence boost, however, is abundantly evident among Internet trolls who claim to be mensa members.

        • tomamitai

          The guidance counselor at my elementary school told us that he stopped revealing IQ test results because, in his experience, knowing them lead to a decrease in scholastic effort by both those with less than and those with greater than average scores, the former because it made them think they were too dumb to succeed so they stopped trying, and the latter because it made them so cocky they’d just coast along in the belief that their superior brain power put them on easy street. Our dear shit-for-brains deleted commenter who claims to be a Mensan shows the wisdom of this practice, since he obviously never made any effort to learn about logical fallacies. Otherwise, he’d have known better than to make an argument from authority with nothing more to back it up.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I knew a guy in Mensa. Worked in the mailroom at Nationwide’s corporate headquarters.

          Hella dungeonmaster.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Like “Who’s Who” among high school students.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          My parents actually sprang for that one, even though it was obvious that it was a money grift.

    • Khavrinen

      “And some, I assume, are good people…”

      • Ryan Denniston

        Why, some of my best friends are in Mensa.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Where’s my Mensa-American?

        • Khavrinen

          My daughter’s even married to one of them, so obviously I’m the least anti-Mensitic person in the world.

    • Ryan Denniston

      First rule of Mensa. You do not talk about Mensa.

      • wait! what?

        2nd rule of Mensa:

        (cα ⋅ p̂ + Βmc2) ψ = iℏ δψ/δt

  • snark-lurker

    “Nasty vile little snark mob”
    right there up top in the header
    now how do these RWNJs get to the comments (which are not allowed) without seeing that?

    • Count Awesome

      Their reading skills are up there with their spelling skills.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Facts not in evidence!

      • snark-lurker

        …now weight uh minnut…

    • zerosumgame0005

      not reading ALL of the werds is how youse gets Trumpanzees in da foist plac!

      • snark-lurker

        finally! sumbuddy i kin unduh-stand

    • WotsAllThisThen

      They see it, think to themselves, “fake news!” and continue reading.

      • snark-lurker

        oh FFS

    • Sister the Resister

      This is a constant slap-my-head thing for me – criticizing Wonkette for not doing “news” (presumably the unbiased neutral kind) when it’s obviously a blog with a lefty bias.

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        They hang out on a blog with a Nazi bias, and think it’s news. You can see how they’d be easily confused.

        • Sister the Resister

          good point. and now I’m more depressed than usual for these trying times…

          • Left-wing Fascist Ron

            Would a pony hug help?

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        Wait a second! This site has a lefty bias? Holy shit. This changes the meaning of everything I’ve ever read here.

        – some deleted commenter, probably.

      • snark-lurker

        DO NOT APPLY slap-hand to head! It is a known cause of pain

  • tehbaddr

    What an abundance of derp the great god of Moran has brought forth this week. Praise be to a Idiot god!

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      Azathoth libelz!

      • tehbaddr

        It’s the complex chaos generation that keeps it simple minded.

    • Sister the Resister

      [from wiki]

      In Greek mythology, Koalemos is the god of stupidity, mentioned once by Aristophanes, and being found also in Lives by Plutarch. Coalemus is the Latin spelling of the name. Sometimes it is referred to as a daimon, more of a spirit and minor deity….

      All praise Koalemos!

      • yyyaz

        Bring back the Koal-mining jerbs! MAGA!

      • tehbaddr

        Thanx, I just figured it must be given the nature of people.

  • OrG

    I bet if these morans commented on dead bartbrite they wouldn’t get deleted.

    • Nounverb911

      They don’t mis-spell enough words to comment on breitbart…

    • Pisto75666

      Bonus circle-jerk as they congratulate each other

      • zerosumgame0005

        make sure you have a LOT of wet naps!

  • BearLeft

    In the words of the inimitable Danny Quayle, “what a waste it is to lose one’s mind, or not to have a mind is being very wasteful.” Don’tcha love when idiots are proved right by bigger idiots?

  • BrendaKay

    OT: Witches cast a mass spell against Trump!
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-39090334

    • DainBramage
      • Villago Delenda Est

        And he didn’t get better, also, too!

      • Paganish

        Amphibian libels! Nothing in nature is THAT slimy!

    • Mary Sandoras

      In it, he suggests using a stubby orange candle, an unflattering picture of Mr Trump, and a Tower tarot card.
      Followers of magic are told to carve the president’s name into the candle using a pin, recite an incantation, and then burn his picture in the flame.

      Stubby orange candle gave me the giggles.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        “You’re Fired” did it for me.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Riddikulus!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Well fundevgelicals prayed for the destruction of Barack Obama during his first term. This should have about the same effect, although at this point I’d be willing to pray to anyone if I thought it would work.

    • wait! what?
      • PubOption

        It needs to have the name Trump, in big gold letters, on the top

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    I hope you have spell- check turned off, Dok, in that Word document. All those squiggly red lines could cause a seizure.

    • zerosumgame0005

      RED SQUIGGLY LINE TRIGGER WARNING!!!11!!!

  • Michael R

    Bill Paxton (the child seen raised above the crowd)
    before JFK emerges from Hotel Texas on November 22, 1963

    https://s16.postimg.org/6o4ojhakl/paxton_child.jpg

  • BadKitty904

    I am a conservative with libertarian leanings, and I am a member of Mensa, so I don’t think I would be classified as an idiot.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d69a0429cff6c402385f9dba6f4fee24f70c86c17b9855755439f6916a060ba7.gif

    • Crank Tango
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The world is full of smrt idiots. A high IQ is exactly that. Smrt people can be misled by crackpot ideas just as easily as stupid people.

      • mailman27

        See also: Steve Bannon

    • Scrofula

      Somewhere out there is a MENSA member who sent in some cash as a joke and is blushing hard after her roommate accidentally opened the mail; the rest are all idiots.

    • artem1s

      Conservative with libertarian leanings is the very definition of idiot.

      • BadKitty904

        Certainly of someone who has no idea how the Real World works.

  • pstockholm

    “post-Trump”
    so, sometime in May?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The Laffer curve is mathematically impossible to be incorrect

    Ha!

    • TJ Barke

      Right wing economics are faith based.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Might as well be discussing how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

        • TJ Barke

          How many dollars trickle down?

          • OrG

            NOT,K

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            How many holes to fill the Albert Hall?

          • tehbaddr

            Are you trying to turn me on?

          • mailman27

            I’m sure he didn’t mean to.

          • Raan

            The ones that the Beast pays his pee hookers with.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          AOT,K

      • OrG

        Faith-believing something there is NO evidence for.

        • Left-wing Fascist Ron

          ‘Andrew Laffer says it, I believe it, and that settles it!’

      • Count Awesome

        Something about turning water into wine and bread into fish to reinvest those profits into money for the NRA.

    • PubOption

      My response to mentions of the Laffer Curve is to assume that it is correct, and has predictive ability. A government wishing to maximize tax revenue could therefore attempt to reduce the tax rate. If that causes tax revenues to decrease, it may be assumed that the next change in tax rates should be an increase rather than a decrease.

      I have yet to find any RWNJ who agrees with me.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    One does not simply “stumble across” the Wonkette… Knowing that Alex Jones has labelled y’all as “fake news”, I did a little Google search & found this handy-dandy list for RWNJ’s to troll:

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-12-07/ultimate-fake-news-list

    Trigger Warning!!! This site is chock full o’ nonsense. Read at your own peril.

    • zerosumgame0005

      hilarious that those fools take their lead on how “fake” the MSM is from someone using a fake name (Tyler Durden) from a fake movie (fiction)!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I saw us there on the list! I haven’t been this excited since the new phonebook came out.

  • Count Awesome

    Alternative facts aren’t uses to create a narrative at all. They’re just there to “correct” the truth.

  • bopeep

    Anyone notice that “An American” seems pretty preoccupied with Evan’s ass? Something latent, perhaps? What a moran.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Or is it Dok’s ass? He seems confused on many levels.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Conservatives are the masters of projecting, so the occasional Freudian slip is bound to happen.

  • janecita

    God, we really are surrounded by fucking morons! “Trump won by a landslide,” really?

  • Fartknocker

    I am not a member of MENSA and I didn’t sleep in a Holiday Inn last night. However, 15 minutes of Wonkette 3x/day does make me a better informed and funny person.

  • Clyde Barrow

    Why am I a conservative? For two reasons: 1) That philosophy is in line with our Constitution…

    That was the best joke I’ve read all morning. Now please tell us the joke about the two Corinthians that walk into a New York bar….

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      The second one should have ducked…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The utterly appalling lack of even a cursory knowledge of history that these shitmuffins display is why I get all slappy.

    • BadKitty904

      If the writers of the Constitution were “conservative,” they’ve’d remained British.

    • Raan

      Two Corinthians walk into a bar. The drinks are overpriced and there’s garish marble and gold everywhere. They leave and go to a dive in Hell’s Kitchen.

    • folderol

      It’s well known that all our Founding Fathers ardently believed in preserving the current political system of 1776.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The first post to get slammed was our piece on Sen. Susan Collins’s suggestion that she just might need to subpoena Lord Dampnut’s income taxes as part of the Senate Intelligence Committee’s investigation of the president’s alleged links to Russia

    I remember some of those. Still LMFAO over the one who said there was no evidence of wrongdoing on Donald’s part, and then after I noted that this was because he was hiding his taxes the troll said he wasn’t interested in seeing them. Good to know you don’t want to look at the evidence, pal, but the rest of us are interested FFS.

    • Pisto75666

      You KNOW that troll was one of the ones screeching for Obama’s birth certificate for 8 years. But hey, this guy’s white and (we believe) American so *shrug*.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Why do you losers persist with this non-issue? YOU LOST… GET OVER IT.

    Spoken like someone who senses that his guy has something to hide. Glad some of the trolls have an ounce of self-awareness!

  • BMW

    Sincerely,

    An American

    https://youtu.be/oYnH-HQGBgg

  • Raan

    where were all of you when Clintons husband was putting cigars into monica Lewinski?

    I was in fourth grade.

    • Crank Tango

      I wasn’t the one screaming that his attacking Bin Laden was a distraction from said cigar, I know that much.

    • Tallmutha

      I was on the grassy knoll.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I was hearing from my middle-schooler that “that Monica girl is not right. Bill is Hillary’s husband!”.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    FYI: I am a VET, so I have more than decent healthcare

    And since your side has numerous people who want to tear that down by privatizing the VA, what’s your point, troll?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Gosh, I know. The stupid, it burns.

    • Clyde Barrow

      That hiring freeze at the VA will help every veteran, said no veteran, ever.

  • Me not sure

    I just saw where Sean Spicer has been surprise confiscating staff phones at the White House in search of leakers. What kind of crazy ass porn do you think he’s finding?

    • Ωbjectifier

      AOT,K?

    • BadKitty904

      If you listen closely, you can hear the distant roar of browser histories being deleted.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Probably just a lot of frantic updating of resumes.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Grindr porn from CPAC?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Larry Craig Libelz!11!! Oh, wait. Carry on.

    • Raan

      At times like this, I have to assume it involved pee.

      There’s probably at least one other person on staff who likes pee hookers.

    • Crank Tango

      Probably the most craziest of ass porn.

      • Me not sure

        ISWYDT

    • BoziSpicer

      Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer porn.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWuc18xISwI

    • Raan

      Advice to any WH staffers who disagree with the Beast’s policies: Keep a burner in your sock.

  • Me not sure

    I just saw where Sean Spicer has been surprise confiscating staff phones at the White House in search of leakers. What kind of crazy-ass porn do you think he’s finding?

    • Clyde Barrow

      Hopefully they’re using a throw away track phone to leak information.

      • Me not sure

        I would so be using a burner.

    • artem1s

      he’s probably finding lots of Google searches on how to find the secret tunnel out of the WH

    • BoziSpicer

      Japanese tentacle anime.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Peeing hookers? Oh wait, that’s probably just on Donnie’s phone. Although, Bannon seems like he’d be into something like that.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Two Girls, One Cup? They’re behind on every other meme.

      • Tishalicious

        Goatse!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Sit on it jerk your not perfect.

    Do any of the trolls know the distinction between your and you’re? It seems like they all fuck that up. Every. Single. One.

    • Raan

      Furthermore, does anyone know how you would jerk your not perfect?

      Is…is it something you have to go out and buy, or is it…oh, screw it, it’s the D.

    • Crank Tango
    • theCryptofishist

      I keep trying to turn it into something coherent, but all I get is: Sit on it, jerk, your perfect (ass.)

    • Marceline

      I’m beginning to think there’s got to be something that would show up on a CAT scan.

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      Do people still say ‘sit on it’ nowadays?

      • WeaselPoo

        Are you implying that that particular phrase has “jumped the shark”? Because if so, I say 23 skidoo and car fare to YOU, sir! Harrumph

        • Amy!

          Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

      • Crank Tango

        Conservatards are always young and hip to contemporary culture…Not!*

        *Used to illustrate a point. Hopefully everyone gets it. Did you get it? Oh never mind.

      • OrG

        Yeah,because it’s funny as a crutch.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        It’s a heckuva burn, if you are Potsie Webber or Ralph Malph.

    • bupkus23

      It happens so consistently, I’m beginning to think it’s their own little “in-joke”, like our use of “moran”.

      Then again, they’re such a bunch of morans, it’s hard to believe they might actually have the ability to be consistent in anything other than derp….

    • The Witch of Endor

      I’ll just be happy with them learning the difference between than and then.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    You will address him as President Trump or Mr President!

    So calling him Donald irritates trolls as much as it irritates Drumpf? Good to know!

  • Treg Brown

    “t hank you! what do the all want ……blood…..”

    Pretty sure that’s a ban hammer trick question.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Must be blood! Must be Fresh!”

      https://youtu.be/5ea5jKFGgUw

    • BadKitty904

      You mean it’s not code?

      • Treg Brown

        I thought code was “deep dish pizza with lots of mushrooms.”
        *wink*

        • BadKitty904
          • Treg Brown

            The flu, but I had the shot so I expect this will be short lived. Medication and immunization for the win!

            He really is something :- )

            What did you have for brunch?

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd7864d290689e8a10f94868e3d431f8242116188c31f3a1caad1ad3cc61c7fb.gif

          • BadKitty904

            Awwwwwwwwwwww!!! Poor puddin’! Well, liquids and rest, rest and liquids – you can’t cure the flu, but you can shorten it’s stay.

            He is that… *sigh*

            For brunch? I had shrimp-and-grits (a traditional Thing, here) and TWO Bloody Marys, which is pretty much double my usual daily alcohol intake. But it was such a pretty morning and we met some of our buds at a local seafood joint that’s built out over a salt marsh – we saw a BIG-ass flock of spoonbills, which are beautiful.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8e5e29bfa9fbcec241f8619b43716c6782e16a9c9fc34d6ed48b572c00187680.jpg

            Anyways, it was a lovely, leisurely way to spend the morning. You shoulda joined us!

          • Treg Brown

            “But it was such a pretty morning and we met some of our buds at a local seafood joint that’s built out over a salt marsh – we saw a BIG-ass flock of spoonbills, which are beautiful.”

            DAMN!!! Would have loved to been there to experience this!
            *Bucket list addition – Have brunch with BK and the mister. Wear shorts*

          • BadKitty904

            Shorts, flips, and a tee (informal) or a tennis shirt (formal) are the Florida Uniform. And it’ll be *my* treat!

          • Treg Brown

            Then it would be *my* honor!

  • theCryptofishist

    Our Evan, who art on Wonkette, hallowed be thy shell…

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    where were all of you when Clintons husband was putting cigars into monica Lewinski?

    In school, trying to make sense of why my country was going insane. Little did I know what was coming FFS…

    • BadKitty904

      I was in first grade. Why?

      • snark-lurker

        mebbe to use like a humidor

    • snark-lurker

      hoo put cigars into Monica’s lewinski? & btw hoo iz Monia & wut iz a lewinski?

    • OrG

      Um….I was putting cigars into my girlfriend.Seemed like the thing to do at the time.

      • Persistent Demme

        My little brother’s take was: “what a brilliant idea!”

    • Doug Langley

      Never mind that. I want to know when they were putting reefer joints into Phyllis Schafly.

    • Telling my mom that i could see why Monica consented?

    • Sister the Resister

      I was not caring what kind of sex the prez had (don’t care about the pee hookering either, btw) and watching the world laugh at us for getting our panties in a twist about the president having an affair. Don’t most of them?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        WTF business is it of his who the DNC elect? Doesn’t he have enough of his own business to take care of? Oh, right: SQUIRREL!

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          I just love (and I mean hate) that he can’t pass up a chance to both lie and be a smug ass in the same tweet here:

          https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/835610917568200705

          • Sister the Resister

            Oh, that one I didn’t mind so much – thanking the opposing party is the kind of trolling any one of our snarkier Democratic Congresscritters might have twattered.

          • The Witch of Endor

            Exactly what I thought. I have to wonder if this wasn’t actually written by someone else and the BannonPuppet just copy/pasted it.

          • Marion in Savannah
          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            Snotty, bitchy, MeanGirl-in-Chief once again displays how he is the Best Unifier Ever. He can only pretend for a few minutes at a time, then he forgets and his petty vindictiveness takes over.

          • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

            Remember that this is how political discourse works now. When they go low … we kick ’em in the balls over and over again until they squeal like a pig.

        • Persistent Demme

          And the Russian’s puppet’s strategery of distraction is becoming more and more transparent, and less and less effective!
          Ha, ha, ha, ha!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      You’d think he’d shut up about the Russia talk. Can you imagine if Nixon mention Watergate over and over again to say it was all fake? This man is creating a yuuuuge pile of horse manure, and the press is going too keep digging for the pony.

      • snark-lurker

        Repeat a lie enough times & [you know the rest]

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          There are lies and lies. It’s like your 5 year old saying “I didn’t put the bubblegum down the bathtub drain”- before you’ve even found the bubblegum.

          • snark-lurker

            but some, once finding said gum, iz amazed by the child’s prescientiance (wutev that big word is)

          • Sister the Resister

            Fuzzy Kitty did it, mom!

    • BadKitty904

      Not while I draw breath.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Is it me or has Trumpkins been tweeting all day? Doesn’t he have some presidenting to do? Oh wait, I forgot it’s Sunday. His day off.

      • Doug Langley

        “Does anyone know where Donald’s phone is?”
        “I thought you had it. Don’t you?”
        “No, I – OH MY GAWD!!!!”

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        He had to be at CPAC, telling the True Believers how wonderful he is, so he couldn’t be in Florida playing golf badly. Man has to have SOME hobbies when he can’t be on the links.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I don’t think he went to Mar-A-Lago this weekend, so he’s bored shitless.

  • Scrofula

    A month in and I see the “winners” are really adjusting to their “win”. All that anger and vitriol and sense of powerlessness, gone in a perfect white cloud of working-class serenity, straight out of [never]. I’ve heard they’re even melting down their AR’s and ammo, and finally relaxing a bit about ‘BORTION, accepting that women’s health is sort of important after all. I’ve even heard that megachurches are offering free spelling classes to members.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I finally got a Trumphole to admit that he didn’t give a fuck about jobs or health insurance or ISIS. He just wants to punish liberals for their thought crimes.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        That was big of Captain Obvious to admit that.

        • Nockular cavity

          Captain Obvious libel!

        • snark-lurker

          wut are you doing up at this hour?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            It’s 9:30. I have to adult today.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Well, it’s not like he came out and said, “yes, you’re right”. It’s just that I kept calling bullshit on all his other reasons long enough that he gave up trying to come up with other obviously lame ones. These people are like malignant children that way.

      • Scrofula

        Praise Jebus.
        Like I said months ago, they don’t give a shit about climate change either–but if “rolling coal” pisses off a Prius driver, that’s good enough.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Exactly!

      • Persistent Demme

        This is one reason why I don’t care about their asses, and say: “fuck ’em!”

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Yeah, I’m not doing so well with the whole “reach out” thing to these folks. Anytime I think about reaching out, I imagine a pair of brass knuckles on my hand.

  • artem1s
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    • Nounverb911

      Again? When isn’t he?

    • kareemachan

      Fuckwad. Bunglecunt. Asshole of the nth degree.

      Etc.

    • Sister the Resister

      Gee, Rick, weird how I couldn’t make it work when my options for high-risk, still-won’t-cover-my-pre-existing-condition* health insurance would have taken half my take home pay. What a scammer I am!

      ___
      * and said health condition would not have ever cost them much if anything; it just fell into the broad category of gall bladder problems which sometimes require surgery, even though my particular ailment would not.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Someone with Valyrian Steel needed to deal with this very stupid White Walker.

    • Doug Langley

      And this poor man is just BAFFLED why his constituents seem upset about something.

      • bupkus23

        Thank gawd he no longer HAS constituents!

    • Notreelyhelping

      He should realize that his observation isn’t new: it just hasn’t entered the mainstream conversation because the point has been deemed incorrect. And stupid.

    • tehbaddr

      Why does anybody pay any attention to that thing?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    conspiratorial murdering doctors

    How does this conspiracy work? Do doctors huddle together and plot out ways to convince women not to want to give birth when they otherwise would have gladly done so? How exactly do they change the preferences of those who do not want to be pregnant?

    Seriously, I’d love to know the “logic” behind this claim FFS.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      science is a conspiracy – it’s educated people agreeing on how things work and actively trying to make the world a better place using that knowledge.

      • Scrofula

        Technically it’s educated people yelling at each other at conferences and actively competing for precious, limited grants.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          you have to remember, I no do science gud…so point taken.

          • Scrofula

            It’s just an industry thing. Like say, picturing school teachers shaping young minds with only the noblest of motivations, and then see them smoking and bitching in the lounge.

      • WeaselPoo

        to be fair, some scientists don’t try to make the world a better place, but they do seem to be in the minority.

    • artem1s

      It’s one of the 32nd level mysteries of the Abortionplex Order. You have to have 32 Abortions a year for 32 years before you are revealed the highest level of access to The Orders’ Holy of Holies and a lifetime membership to Planned Parenthood and unlimited abortions for life. and cakes we like

      • Sister the Resister

        DAMN! I thought is was an even dozen on both counts. I’ll have to try harder from now on.

      • snark-lurker

        yeah but wut if yer a guy?

        • Amy!

          Try harder. C’mon, if even us weak wittle women can get preggers, how is it that a big strong guy claims he can’t?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I don’t see many MD’s standing in maternity clinics yelling”For Gods sake, get an abortion while you still can!”

      • OrG

        They don’t WANT you to see it.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          They also don’t tell you that the Bortionplex offers a discount if you bring a friend.

    • Edith Prickly

      The anti-abortion cranks know that sane people find the idea of sending pregnant women to jail repellent, so they pretend that doctors somehow brainwash women into asking for abortions even when they don’t want them. Removes the agency from the woman and intimidates the medical community.

      • JD Mulvey

        Women don’t know what they really want, obvs.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    with all due respect to Dok – I don’t think this comment is being mocked enough:

    “2) Conservative economic principles have worked every time they have been tried. Liberal/Progressive economic policies (aka robbing Peter to pay Paul) have failed every time they have been tried. This has been proven globally.:

    Isn’t that like, DEMONSTRABLY, OBJECTIVELY untrue.
    Just this week I read that Kansas is roiling back Gov. Dumbback’s tax cuts. “Conservative economic policies” gave us the S&L, historic deregulation, 2008 banking crisis, Greece, and on and on.
    Meanwhile, “liberal” countries like in Western europe manage to give away free higher education, free healthcare, generous time off (for regular folks and new parents) while still making billions in profits.
    I’m not economist, but sheesh is that a fat turd of a lie.

    • TJ Barke

      Well, for all intents and purposes, their conception of failure is owners and executives and shareholders not making absolutely as much money as possible always.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        aye, conservative economic policies are in face successful at make rich people richer (and making the poor poorer, the environment dirtier, and nations less stable)….good point.

    • snark-lurker

      yuh just gotta wonder about sum fokes

    • ariel_gee_398

      Depends on your definition of “worked.” For them, working is “transferring wealth from the poorer classes to the richest classes” and by that measure, boy howdy do they work.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        that’s TJ was saying too – I suppose they’re right, if that’s the definition they working under,.

  • Nounverb911

    “I thought Pence put an end to this when he single-handedly cleaned up that cemetery in St Louis”
    –DJT

    https://twitter.com/MairavZ/status/835920752251715584

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, good God.

    • Nockular cavity

      Grrrrr…

    • yyyaz

      Thanks, Pence.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’ve been unleashed. Their freak flag is flying. Loud and proud, like in Nürnberg, 1934.

    • WeaselPoo

      FFS… and while ostensibly “vandalism” this is not the work of idle people with a nihilistic bent, this type of act is actually targeted symbolic intimidation and a pre-cursor to open harassment that can lead to predictably terrible results.

      But our current Administration’s sympathies lie with the victims of Bowling Green and Sweden’s Day of Terror.

  • NotALiar

    Oh Zach honey, if you stare waaaaay up in the sky on a clear day you will see Wonkette.com flying quickly over your head. Moran.

    • Scrofula

      As unreachable as the ISS. (Note to Zach, that’s “Space Station” not “ISIS”.)

      • natoslug

        Hey, we all know what the definition of ISS is! Or DO we?

        • NotALiar

          Space Station is science and science is fake news.

        • Doug Langley

          Bill Clinton libelz!!!!!

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            Why can’t they stop talking about something that happened 20 years ago? “It was shocking, just shocking, I tell you, when FDR boned his secretary”.

          • nightmoth

            They’d never heard of any sex act except missionary position with the lights out. They’re STILL shocked.

          • Paganish

            I would dearly love to be one of the privileged few to know if there has ever actually been a sitting President of the United States who HASN’T boned their secretary.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It sounds like Doktor Zoom (what an incredibly stupid pseudonym) is trying very hard to portray O’keefe as a fool

    Thanks, Reese, but with all respect for Dok, it takes no effort whatsoever to show how foolish James O’Keefe is TYVM.

    • TJ Barke

      Really, taking a swipe at an innocuous screen name? Petty, whiny, little shit much?

      • natoslug

        Without petty, whiny, and shitty, they’d have no hobbies whatsoever.

        • yyyaz

          TBF, they’d still have butt-pickin’, nose-pickin’ and finger-lickin’.

    • BadKitty904

      That’d be pretty redundant, wouldn’t it, Reese?

    • WeaselPoo

      My pseudonym is incrediblier stupider than Doktor Zoom’s, ergo get over it , I win all the things.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Nuh uh!

        • WeaselPoo

          Too late, Rebel Scum. I called dibs first. And don’t get me started on those illegally leaking Bothans! Bad hombres!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      O’Keefe does a fine job of portraying himself as a fool.

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        Always at his most convincing when he’s playing himself.

  • JD Mulvey
    • Crank Tango

      Off my case, toilet face!

      • JD Mulvey

        Kiss mah grits!

        • OrG

          Up yer nose with a rubber hose!

          • The Witch of Endor

            Up yer ass with Mobile gas.

            I’m betting only people who bought the album will recognize that one.

      • JD Mulvey

        You hockeypucks obviously remember the golden age of insult comedy.

      • BoziSpicer

        Up your moon with a gravy spoon!

    • LucindathePook

      Up your giggy with a wah-wah brush. It doesn’t rhyme, but it’s always been a favorite.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Now go run to your transgender bathroom safe space

    Transgender Bathroom Safe Space would be a great club name.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Or a band name. :-)

      Also, should bathrooms NOT be safe spaces?

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        No.
        – GOP and perverts (but I repeat myself)

  • Wren1

    The first one, “Zach” is really Donald J. Trump’s new pseudonym. Must be. So cool that he reads Wonkette, isn’t it!

    • TJ Barke

      Only insofar as he might read me calling him an unhinged fascist lunatic.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Zach sounds too literate. Maybe Bannon wrote it for him.

  • natoslug

    These people are quite proud of their smooth, wrinkle-free brains, aren’t they? Unsullied by knowledge or worrying thought . . .

    • yyyaz

      Facts are accelerated as they pass through. No one can explain it.

      • Mary Sandoras

        Synapses misfire, no one knows why.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Real Americans don’t have rugge!

    • MizzMazz

      I thought the wrinkly brains were smarter, cuz they have more surface area or sumthin.

    • tehbaddr

      Gyri LIBELZ!!!1111!!!!

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Is it just me, or does Zach seem preoccupied with Evan’s butt?

    • doktorzoom

      Look, don’t try to make excuses for Zach by pointing out his one redeeming feature.

      • Scrofula

        Wait, Zach’s one redeeming feature is admiration for Evan’s butt? Cause surely Evan must have a couple other nice traits . . . his accent, maybe?

        • Markuserektus

          He writes well also, too…

    • Treg Brown

      Have you seen Evan’s butt?! :- )

      Morning my dear lovely and very calming friend!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I haven’t, but I can say mid-thirties butts are not wrinkly, dammit!!!

        Good nirning

        • Treg Brown

          I’ve picked up a bit of the flu that’s going around and am heavily dosed with Mucinex and liquids (not gin). I’ve been sleeping a lot. I hope the islands are beautiful today for you both!

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            My whole family back home had it. It’s been nasty this year. You keep taking good care of yourself. Next week is gonna be better!

          • weejee

            Get well soon Treg

          • Treg Brown

            Thank you weejee.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      OMG I just said the same thing above! I should have scrolled down a bit before posting. ha!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        It was still true when you said it!

  • Treg Brown
    • natoslug

      Father Matt is certainly living up to the Bozo part of his last name.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Bozovsky? Sounds Russian…

        • natoslug

          As a partial Pole, I’m glad he’s a sky, not a ski.

    • Scrofula

      PRIEST FIGHT!!!

      • natoslug

        I’m betting on James Martin (Father? Priest? I have no idea what the religious chain of command is), and hope he really gets under Fr. Mutt’s collar.

        • Scrofula

          “SJ” sounds much more ominous a title than “Father”. I mean, we all had Dads, except maybe Trump.

          • LucindathePook

            The Jebbie has to have it all over a mere priest in the way of being able to argue a point.

          • It stands for SEXXX JUSTICE

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Dueling catchisms at dawn!

      • weejee
        • Stella Thomas

          Good grief, those won’t work, will they?

          • folderol

            2, 4, 6, 8…
            Time to transubstantiate!

          • Khavrinen

            First you get down on your knees,
            Fiddle with your rosaries,
            Bow your head with great respect,
            And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

          • OddMan

            The man is a living legend.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f72CTDe4-0

          • Yr. Gma

            I don’t know what percentage of vegetable Jesus was. Or is when he gets chewed.

          • Stella Thomas

            It’s a puzzle

          • goonemeritus

            Jesus was firmly in the pro gluten camp.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          So, they found a gluten free Jesus to get that from, or did they degluten Jesus first before making those? I be confuzed!

      • BadKitty904

        I’d be willing to bet on which one the Holy Father will side with. And it’s not going to be that self-righteous prig, Bozovsky.

    • Edith Prickly

      Do not fuck with the Jesuits.

      • Persistent Demme
      • tehbaddr

        Right, good Catholics mostly. I used to work at one of their Unis.

      • Yr. Gma

        Governor Jerry Brown was a Jesuit before he decided to pursue politics. He brings that ethos of compassion to the job. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/81b6db11b6897daf162339dec84d748f7831a091a15e9ec85dda54c54ea70eed.jpg

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Mostly he wanted to pursue Linda Ronstadt. And who didn’t in 1972.

          • Yr. Gma

            Well, I didn’t. I’m a girl. But I did think Jerry was a babe back in the day.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Um, I have tremendous respect for the man and do not believe he took the governorship because he was chasing skirt.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Not my point. I think Gov. Brown stopped being a Jesuit to make a play for Linda.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Ok.

          • TheBoatDude

            If that’s the case, then it certainly was the overland route…

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        They will beat you in an argument. Then trades sides and take your side of the argument and beat you again. If the Sisters of Mercy are God’s hit women, the Jesuits are his lawyers. And a Jesuit is currently running the Vatican.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          LOL! I experienced just this. Luckily, I was young and in great need of a humbling experience back then. No, I’m not Catholic. Just sayin’.

      • gingerland62

        The guys studying to be Jesuits threw the best parties in college, and they weren’t all rapey either.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Republicans fucked up. They went after our youth first. Shoulda genocided us adult trans folks first. Now we’re angry.

    • Stella Thomas

      It’s kinda hard to point out some of them tranny’s. I say we check everyone’s equipment before we decide which bathroom to let people use. This could be a big jobs boom.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        As a tranny I volunteer to check the dudes. I like the peen more, but I’m okay with vag too. I’m perfect for the job!

        • Stella Thomas

          There ya go, but you have to check them all bcz some of those old “ladies” are “passing”

        • snark-lurker

          i wood trust you with my wouldee

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I’m tearing up. So sweet!

      • Stella Thomas

        When you go for a marriage license they should ask everyone to drop their pants first

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Don’t they? I mean, I had to…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Not happy times for conservative Catholicism

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        Good to know that they’re dying off, slowly but surely.

      • OrG

        Thanks,Francisco!

    • Vincent Ricola

      This is a beautiful read on a nice Sunday afternoon.

    • BadKitty904

      Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of Mine, you did for Me.

      ~ Jesus of Nazareth (Mathew 25:40 NIV)

      • Sandy Beaches

        That’s not in the RWNJ version.

        • Edith Prickly

          Sometimes I think their Bibles are missing the Gospel of Matthew entirely, because they do everything Jesus says not to.

          • Sandy Beaches

            It’s really annoying to watch as they have no problem treating brown people inhumanely, but call themselves “pro-life.” And then, when you tell them they aren’t acting like Christians and point out Bible verses to them, they get indignant and tell you that you don’t know what you are talking about because you aren’t a Christian. Never mind the fact that you grew up in the church and went to Sunday School every Sunday and VBS in the summer, you are automatically disqualified for having an opinion about religion because you don’t currently believe in God. Okay, I’m done.

          • Edith Prickly

            I’m an atheist who went to Catholic school (where we had a standard science curriculum that included evolution.) If they want to match wits with the OG Christianity, bring it!

          • arundel

            I love “OG Christianity” because it’s true, but an awful lot of born-again dumbass evangelicals don’t realize that- they’ve hijacked the term “Christian” for themselves, which is obnoxious.

          • ImPEECH!

            I’m too lazy to scroll throught almost 4000 comments/ replies to figure what “OG Christianity” is, did I miss something in this here comment-thread string above? Maybe my eyesight is failling me.

            “Old Guard”?
            “Oh God”?
            “Original Goofweasels”?
            “Orange Gina”?
            “Ornery Galoot”? etc.

          • arundel

            “Original Gangsta” (gangster). It’s a hip-hop/ rap term, meaning those artists who were there at the beginning of rap’s ascendance.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            They do like the Gospel of Mark, with all the snake handling.

    • Michael Smith

      He’s awesome. And by far the most hate he gets is from Christians.

  • weejee
    • snark-lurker

      that hurts the backs of my eyeball

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    A. The Zach dude seemed really obsessed with Evan’s ass.
    B. Why is it that these numbnuts have such a deep aversion to apostrophes?
    C. They are like a cult. A cult of idiots.

  • Markuserektus

    Related to an earlier OT post: Attorney General Jeff Sessions’s four-sentence memo rescinding Justice Department guidance to reduce the use of private prisons sent stock soaring for the two companies that dominate the industry, Geo Group and CoreCivic (formerly Corrections Corporation of America). But the high-profile memo does matter because of the precedent. States and federal agencies that might have otherwise been wary of the negative perception of private prisons, and their often horrific outcomes, can now rest easy.
    The Department of Homeland Security in particular is preparing for a boom in detention facilities to house undocumented immigrants awaiting deportation. This could increase the population under detention by as much as four-fold. The seeds of Sessions’s evangelism for private prisons, and the future of the industry, were sown back in October, when two of his former Senate aides, David Stewart and Ryan Robichaux, became lobbyists for Geo Group. (The Nation)

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I can’t even work up a shocked enough I’m shocked I tell you, shocked for this.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      A prison in every neighborhood!

      • BoziSpicer

        Next to the taco trucks?

        • LucindathePook

          On each corner, instead of the taco trucks.

          • That was a very poor trade. Fire the managers!

          • LucindathePook

            Donnie would be soooo good at firing them.

    • TJ Barke

      Fucking scam artists.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      It’s absolutely awful.

      • Markuserektus

        As one commenter posted: Our gulag, our shame.

    • mailman27

      Also, too there was supposedly a two day gap between decision and announcement. Enough time for insiders to scarf up the soon to be burgeoning stock.

      • Paul

        Damn. I made the same point before seeing that you had already done so.

    • Paul

      Didn’t I read somewhere that there was a two day lag between when Sessions signed the order and when it was “officially” announced?

      No chances for gaming the market there at all. Totally above board I’m sure.

  • JD Mulvey

    “The Executive Branch executes the legislature that
    the Legislative Branch legislates.”

    Don’t you people unnerstand how the gubment works??

    • notaten

      I would personally like to execute a large chunk of the legislature, with votes or whatever.

    • weejee

      tRump is going to line Turtle and Ayn Paul Ryan up against a wall?

  • weejee

    Surprised Hoft’s press creds didn’t draw ire. What with O’Keefe we have the iconic twins, Dumb and Dumber. Pay-up, also, too.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e6b7e43af35f41446d424b566ee2f7ab1d341938a5da99eb6101a3e5c044ccb1.jpg

    • Bill D. Burger

      If those two put their heads together, you’d have a complete ass.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Which is like a miracle of math, because each one, on his own, is a complete ass also too!!!

        • Bill D. Burger

          Schrödinger’s ass!?!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            It’s astounding! Time is fleeting! Madness, takes its toll!

        • LucindathePook

          One infinity of ass plus one infinity of ass equals one infinitely of ass, no?

        • snark-lurker

          assiplex?

        • ariel_gee_398

          Ass-ception?

  • clubseal

    I’d probably rob Pilate to pay Paul. Seems like he’d have better stuff.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    This week’s DSFB is kinda like one of those movies, where you get something new out of it, everytime you watch/read it. Seriously go back and read a second time.

    Also too, I hope Dok’s supplement will include the guy who kept telling us over and over that Obama could have totally phoned up Lois Lerner and gotten trump’s taxes and leaked them.

  • I’m always puzzled why people insist on extolling their membership of a table; because that’s what “mensa” means, a table.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Ironically, the Spanish use of the word mensa (female) or menso (male)generally denotes someone who is crazy or stupid.
      “No seas menso”…. Don’t be crazy.

      • snark-lurker

        i thought periods

        • Yr. Gma

          She’s doing mensa on the mesa. (I wonder if the Hopis have a Mensa branch.)

      • Darlene Underdahl

        It’s taken to mean “table” as in “round table society.” I know the Spanish meaning as well.

        • Steve Cole

          Mesa is not Mensa

    • LucindathePook

      I joined ages ago for about five minutes as I was newly divorced and hoped it would lead to some social interaction. It didn’t. But I have a logo somewhere and the M does form into a table. I can’t remember just why the table figured into anything, but it did.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I met the love of my life on “car talk”. They used to have a personal ads section where you had to describe yourself as a car. I thought the people who called into the show sounded funny, smart, and generally decent, if sometimes clueless about cars.

        • clubseal

          I need a smog check, baby.

  • Swampay

    “and I am a member of Mensa, so I don’t think I would be classified as an idiot.”

    Membership in Mensa is practically a definition of a class of idiot.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They haven’t exactly solved the worlds problems, have they?

      • Darlene Underdahl

        My husband and I were members for a lot of years. There was always infighting and ego clashes, but in recent years the local group devolved into old white people doing Republican talking points. No amount of “food stamps don’t break the budget” consulting had any effect. They were as Fox brainwashed as any other old people.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          I met someone who claims to be a member and you just described him perfectly. In fact, he voted for Trump.

        • LucindathePook

          The little bit I was involved with was ALL infighting and ego. Except for one “party” where the entire night was spent on some game involving collecting welfare babies which, in addition to being incredibly racist, made no absolute sense.

          • guppy06

            I could never fit all my welfare pegs into the tiny little plastic car.

      • Jennifer R

        Word problems on the other hand, those folks are just crackerjack at.

    • MizzMazz

      Went to a Mensa party once. The guy kept pointing to things, and said, “We make that.” He worked for BASF, if I recall correctly.

      • WeaselPoo

        Audio tape and chemical additives made a difference in many lives…more the latter than the former I suspect.

        • MizzMazz

          It was a weird party. I declined to join their club.

      • guppy06

        Isn’t that the company that had the advertising line “We don’t make things?”

        • MizzMazz

          Something like that. It was an awful party with lots of coke, but no one was sharing. Stupid 80’s

    • ltmcdies

      Mensa, huh…in the tradition of ICE…show your papers, asshole

    • Doug Langley

      So he misspelled “Densa”?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I was a member for a year, and didn’t renew. I was more interested in getting laid.

      • Darlene Underdahl

        Uh, yeah, that’s how I found my second husband and how my son-in-law found my daughter. Mensa pairings are (were?) very common.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          I should explain: I was a senior in high school, always the youngest person in the room, and thought the local sci-fi society threw better parties.

    • Swampay

      When I was in HS and trying to figure out if this “pretty darned smart” thing was useful for anything in the world, I met with a brother-of-a-friend who was a proud member of Mensa. “Hey, maybe this is my tribe!” I thought.

      “Mensa isn’t just a bunch of misfit nerds sitting around stroking their egos” he said, while stroking his ego like it was a large white cat.

      “Uhhh, no thanks”

    • Ricky Gay

      The first rule of Mensa is…

      • guppy06

        “The bear is white.”

        Or is it “A pound of feathers is heavier than a pound of gold?”

    • Membership in Mensa is practically a definition of a class of idiot.

      A idiot, you idiot!

  • Persistent Demme

    That pic, (whether to mess with Cardinal fans or not), is a gift that keeps on giving!
    This Persistent Demme salutes “Moran Guy!”

  • azeyote

    i hope Evan keeps an eye on his back trail – looks like Zach loves to whoop it up with some ass –

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Could Turgid Love Muscle guy be far behind? I’ll show myself out

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I really think Zach has a deep crush on Evan.

      • OrG

        Who doesn’t?

  • bookish

    http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/4986417-155/ej-dionne-trump-and-bannon-are

    This is a huge deal. It reflects a long-standing critique on the right not just of the Obama and Clinton years but of the entire thrust of American government since the Progressive Era and the New Deal. Critics of the administrative state — “the vast administrative apparatus that does so much to dictate the way we live now,” as Scott Johnson, a conservative lawyer and co-founder of the Power Line blog, put it in 2014 — see it as unconstitutional because regulatory agencies make and enforce rules based on authority they claim was illegitimately ceded by Congress.

    That’s the theory. In practice, this is a war on a century’s worth of work to keep our air and water clean; our food, drugs and workplaces safe; the rights of employees protected; and the marketplace fair and unrigged. It’s one thing to make regulations more efficient and no more intrusive than necessary. It’s another to say that all the structures of democratic government designed to protect our citizens from the abuses of concentrated private power should be swept away.

    • Stella Thomas

      Huh?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “see it as unconstitutional because regulatory agencies make and enforce rules based on authority they claim was illegitimately ceded by Congress.”

      it’s my understanding regulatory rules are made by the agencies, and that congress themselves “cede” the authority to the agencies, as the agencies have the relevant expertise and experience (at least when things are normal out there) – so I’m not quite sure how that claim is supposed to work.

      • clubseal

        Government BAD111!!!!!11 is all you need to know to understand the mindset.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        Cede? It’s called delegation. Moran.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They want to bring back feudalism. That’s the bottom line. The Renaissance was “a mistake” as far as they are concerned.

      • OrG

        We don’t need no stinkin’ art,math,literacy……..

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Modern medicine…

          • WeaselPoo

            Perspective in drawings….an invention of Satan if ever there was one.

        • Amy!

          We don’t need no education!

          Thought control? Hmmm, thought control. No, we could use some thought control.

          — Americans for the Prosperity of the Brothers Koch

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Things were better back when only clergy were literate.

        • guppy06

          Then nobody else could read their “I never thought this could happen to me…” letters about the choirboys?

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        And the Enlightenment. For all they talk about the Founding Fathers, they pretty much repudiate everything they believed in.

  • Chadwells

    If I were as dumb as these assholes…I’d be mad too. Poor dumb dumbs.

  • Iron Monkey

    Save the op-eds for the editorials.

    Yeah, but where is the editorial page? I haven’t been able to find it–it isn’t even in the index–hell there isn’t an index either. Well, I suppose you just have to keep things as they are.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      It’s next to the button to comment and Brad’s resume, which also do not exist.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      It’s between the personals and the gay wedding announcements.

    • Ricky Gay

      Save the speeches for Malcom X… I just wanna get laid!

    • WeaselPoo

      Forget the Wales! Save The Op-Eds!

      • guppy06

        But St. David’s Day is Wednesday!

    • BadKitty904

      Save the fascism for Nazis. Oh, wait…

  • bookish

    http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/trudy_rubin/20170226_Worldview__Rubin__Who_will_win_White_House_foreign_policy_battle_.html

    Some (myself included) have expressed hope that the more mainstream views of Defense Secretary James Mattis and new national security adviser H.R. McMaster could compensate for the president’s insistence on policymaking by tweet. Yet even as Mattis and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson traversed the globe last week trying to reassure rattled allies, as did Homeland Security chief John Kelly and Vice President Pence, Trump contradicted them at every stop.

    Moreover, as Trump and top strategist Steve Bannon made clear at the Conservative Political Action Conference last week, the White House worldview diverges so radically from that of Mattis, McMaster, et al., that it’s impossible to paper over the differences. All the more so since the president appointed Bannon to full membership in the National Security Council, unprecedented for a political adviser. Moreover, Bannon has been busy assembling a so-called Strategic Initiatives Group that seems destined to undercut McMaster’s efforts.

    http://www.salon.com/2017/02/23/will-trump-and-bannon-drag-us-into-another-big-ground-war-it-could-happen-sooner-than-we-think/

    • WeaselPoo

      “Strategic Initiatives Group” sounds not unlike that neocon cabal headed by Douglas Feith that “stovepiped” bullshit regarding Iraq.

  • Rick Hill

    ” I am a conservative with libertarian leanings”

    Ok, now. That. Right to the head of the line for the FEMA camp. They lean libertarian just enough that no one tells them what to do but they still get the conservative’s desire to put everyone they don’t like in their place. “I don’t want to pay taxes. trump is smart to not pay taxes.” Followed by “Lazy lowlifes who don’t want to pay taxes should be put on the street or in prison.” Or “I don’t need laws and if I do break one, I am not a bad person so don’t put me in jail, I learned my lesson(to be sneakier, next time)” followed by “All the blacks are taking things, we all know it so just lock them up forever and throw away the key!”
    Fck those people

    • ariel_gee_398

      I pretty much always interpret that phrase to mean “I’m your typical republican who is gay and/or really into smoking weed.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I heard one lawyer say about a neighborhood group ” They are communists when it comes to their neighbors property, and libertarians when it comes to their own”. That about describes them.

  • folderol

    I congratulate Trump for paying little or no taxes; after all, We The People should be paying his taxes for him! It’s the American Way!

    • Blacktop Autumn

      If we all schemed our way out of paying taxes America would be great!

    • nightmoth

      It reminds me that my Mom and Dad grew up during the Great Depression and they were PROUD to pay taxes. Strange as it sounds to Rethuglicans, they were happy to be making enough money to give some to their government, as well as tithe to their church. It used to be called “being a good citizen,” you selfish little cheapskate trolls.

    • BadKitty904

      If the “President” doesn’t pay taxes, that means We the People don’t have to pay taxes, either.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Doktor Zoom (what an incredibly stupid pseudonym)

    I wish I had an incredibly stupid pseudonym.

    • Querolous

      We all have our Noms de la guerre de résistance.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “and I am a member of Mensa,”

    He misspelled “Densa”.

  • Ricky Gay

    I just wish they would drop all the pretense and start flinging poo. At least it’s an ethos.

  • Iron Monkey

    executes the legislature

    Well said, Guy Fawkes.

  • Suse

    How sad not to possess a sense of humor.

    • BadKitty904

      Do you think they realize they don’t have one?

      • Suse

        Nope!

        • BadKitty904

          Then they must find humorous comments very confusing.

  • Iron Monkey


    The Legislative Branch (of which Collins
    is a member) legislates. The Executive Branch (of which the IRS is a
    part, under the Department of Treasury) executes

    And the Judicial Department judices.

    • Khavrinen

      If you wish your Departments to stay judice-y it’s important to brine them before cooking.

    • Rick Hill

      “Judicial Department judices”
      I hear they’re also prudent.

  • Pinkham’s Law
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      If mama skunk had gotten her head stuck in those wheel spokes, this video would have been even more hilarious.

    • DainBramage

      There goes the much-less-stinky Pepe.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEdBndu0YUM

    • Paul

      Are them good eatin’?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Good question! I have a recipe for that*, but haven’t tried it yet. let me know how it works out for you.

        WHAT YOU NEED!

        2 skunks, skinned and cleaned
        1 tablespoon salt
        water, to cover
        2 cups bear fat or 2 cups lard
        2 egg yolks, beaten
        3 cups milk or 3 cups cream
        1 1⁄2 cups flour
        1⁄2 teaspoon salt
        2 tablespoons baking powder

        WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED:

        Clean and wash the skunks, making sure that the scent glands are removed.

        Cut up into small serving pieces.

        Put a soup kettle on the stove and add the meat.

        Cover with cold water and bring to a boil over high heat.

        Lower the heat and boil until the meat is tender, about 40 minutes.

        Remove all the scum that rises to the surface.

        Make a batter by mixing together the egg yolks, milk, flour, salt and baking powder.

        Mix real good until the batter is about like cake batter.

        Heat the bear fat or lard in a deep fryer to about 360 degrees.

        Dip the pieces of skunk in the batter and then fry them in the deep fryer until golden brown.

        Drain well and serve.

        *Courtesy of Food.com.

        • Paul

          Thank you sir. All printed and ready for Holly to cook.

          Have to wait for the bears to wake and leave their dens before we can have some bear fat though.

          I’m certain she’ll love the recipe, being from the southern Appalachians.

    • Shanzgood

      Hey! Do I remember you soliciting Wonker emails for a contact list a couple of months ago?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        You do.

        • Shanzgood

          Would it be possible to share it with me somehow if other Wonkers don’t object? I’m presuming it’s info from regulars. I wanted to send info privately to anyone who might be interested in sending a postcard to baconzgood rather than posting his info publicly. If you can think of a better way to do this, I’m all ears. I could just send his contact info to you, personally, to email. Any ideas are welcome.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            You have mail! Check your ***cubie@ address.

  • Chadwells
  • Poly_Ester

    Take the long view, Nixon’s “silent majority” is no longer silent.

  • Treg Brown

    Hahaha.

    People say things out loud, then the interwebs remembers.

    ETA: I wonder if Teddy said this after Don claimed his father killed JFK, or that his wife was a whore.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/58fa0eefc11e11af4cd2d3a5f7e06904e44756bb649a6fc58764d5c7890e1a85.gif

  • Rick Hill

    “trump will never permit the destruction of the Constitution, as your actions imply.”

    Yeah, he’s saving that for hisself and his band of merry pranksters

  • bookish

    As President Donald Trump prepared for his first address to the U.S. Congress, the White House on Sunday sought to fend off the latest calls for an independent probe of Russian efforts to impact last year’s U.S. election and any ties between Moscow and the president’s inner circle.

    “We are extremely confident that, whatever review, they are all going to come to the same conclusion: that we had no involvement in this [Russian electoral meddling],” said White House spokesperson Sarah Sanders on ABC’s This Week program.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If you have nothing to hide, why are you fighting an independent investigation so hard?

    • Asked and answered!

      “You don’t want us to have any nasty, stupid investigations into ties with Russia, do you? Only stupid heads want that! You don’t want to be a stupid head, do you?”

      SEE?

  • Nounverb911
  • guppy06
    • OrG

      This is on my kitchen wall.

    • btwbfdimho

      Naked Ivanka?

      • Yr. Gma

        Ivanka is no Venus.

        • guppy06

          BANANARAMA LIBEL!

          • The Witch of Endor

            SHOCKING BLUE LIBELZ!!!!

      • Bill D. Burger

        Kellyanne says, “Go out and buy some of those products and support Ivanka. I think I’ll go out shopping today.”

  • The Librarian

    You’re terribel, you’re horribel, you’re invincibel…..

  • Bill D. Burger

    Here we go again:

    [Bob Brooks
    PublishedFEBRUARY 26, 2017, 2:05 PM EDT
    Dozens of headstones at a Jewish cemetery in Pennsylvania were broken and overturned in what Philadelphia police called an act of vandalism.

    Aaron Mallin, a resident of New Jersey, discovered the damage Sunday morning when he came to visit his father’s grave at Mt. Carmel Cemetery in the neighborhood of Wissinoming, according to a report by WPVI.]

    More of that Blinder & Gentile Con Republican American religious expression, no doubt.

    http://6abc.com/news/headstones-damaged-at-philadelphia-jewish-cemetery-/1774127/ https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a3f5004f12a5ef1d32f1fe461a4407393400440944b3c3db41c372cd16851a4b.jpg

    • ltmcdies

      FFS…..

      Hey Pence…another clean up job for yah

    • Treg Brown

      This is getting fucking out of hand.

    • Chyron HR

      “HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU WANT TRUMP TO DO?!” – Sean “Is it a fart or a queef?” Spicer

      • Andy_Kreiss

        I’m still loving that “Nothing’s ever good enough!” whine. Shitty Spice thinks president Snowflake deserves a participation trophy.

        As funny as the not-allowed comments above, from totally triggered wingnuts screeching about safe spaces and snowflakes.

  • ltmcdies

    Death needs to take a fucking holiday…now..
    https://twitter.com/people/status/835941093363572737

    • OrG

      Judge Wapner was okay,but he did kinda start the “reality show” bullshit.

      • Yr. Gma

        Smart businessman. Should have been president.

      • tehbaddr

        He was the original Cantankerous Bench Sitter.

      • I blame Robert Ripley for that. And Candid Camera premiered in the 40’s (believe it or not).

      • Persistent Demme

        I thought it was MTV’s “Real World.”

    • Treg Brown

      97. That’s a life well lived.

    • Chadwells

      Awwww man. Bill Paxton and him on the same day. This is BS

    • tehbaddr

      But how’s Rusty?

  • guppy06

    for reasons we won’t pretend to understand but are quite happy about, they ended up at or near the top of Bing’s news results

    People use Bing?

    • People? These ain’t people!

    • puredog

      I picked up some malware a couple of months ago whereby if I went to Google and typed in search terms, it took me to the Bing result page. I don’t remember how I fixed it, but it was truly a pain in the ass.

  • Bureaucrap

    Did you hear that, Evan? He wants your ass. HAWT!

  • guppy06

    FYI: I am a VET, so I have more than decent healthcare.

    Someone likes the VA? This is more shocking than the Bing use thing…

    • Rick Hill

      Let the trumpettes fix the VA for him. See how well that goes

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I wondered about that also too…how much you want to bet that Ol’RK Wall was among the loudest voices screaming about how terrible the VA was when that black guy was president.

      • Notreelyhelping

        I’m totally guessing here, but he may get his prescriptions each month and can see his local doc. If he spends much time in a hospital, he might, uh…revise his findings.

    • The Witch of Endor

      Yeah, now I know this idiot is a really poor liar on top of his/her myriad of intellectual deficits.

    • BadKitty904

      My first thought was “veterinarian,” which is yet another indicator I spend way too much time thinking about cats.

    • notaten

      I am also too a veteran, and while I am grateful to have decent healthcare, I would not say it is top shelf. Barely adequate would be more accurate, at least in my area. A lot of doctors around here won’t take the Tricare insurance at all.

    • tehbaddr

      I was on a computer the other day at work (it’s a sad one, and I’m not allowed to fix it), anyway I alt N’d and alt V’d to open a new window and paste for some searching. Couldn’t find a thing, and was a bit confused at the interface, couldn’t figure why google was broken. I went back to it later and realized that somehow the new browser window was searching Yahoo of all things! I don’t trust that computer at all anymore. The saving grace was that it didn’t pull up Bing!

      • guppy06

        Remember:

        * If you’re not paid to fix it, don’t! Otherwise that gets added to your job responsibilities, for no extra pay and no extensions of deadlines for all your other duties.

        * If you fix it, you own it. Period. It will remain your problem and exclusively your problem, forever and ever, amen. This is closely related to the previous bullet point.

        • tehbaddr

          Yes, I know. I’ve built many systems and had to service them till I delegated that responsibility. Then had to go and make them right again. Both professionally and for friends, I will not do it for friends anymore. I’ve resuscitated too many computers for non-professional acquaintances to know better.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Guys, this is what my cat does when he doesn’t like the food I’ve given him and wants me to switch it out for something else: he sits in judgement.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8810257c20dc7e8e77b3052ac2483d5ec87b22768d2fccc26c340ff68fb5a364.jpg

    And he’ll sit there and stare at me until I get up and give him what he wants. I’m tell you, he’d be great at interrogation.

  • Suse
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      The phone checks included whatever electronics staffers were carrying when they were summoned to the unexpected follow-up meeting, including government-issued and personal cellphones.

      https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder743/38651743.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      That’s the way to build team-spirit, Sphincter!

    • Shucky Ducky

      “Spicer also warned the group of more problems if news of the phone checks and the meeting about leaks was leaked to the media.” Oh, they are in SO MUCH TROUBLE now!!!

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        My theory is that they want to get fired. Within a few months, they’ll look like heroes and will have their pick of jobs with every Republican lawmaker who sees through this…

        …oh, right. Never mind!

      • ariel_gee_398

        His staff clearly fear him about as much as a group of 14 year olds fear the wrath of a substitute teacher.

  • Bureaucrap

    Rocky Bottom, SC libel!

  • bookish

    https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2017-02-24/trump-s-deportation-plan-is-an-economic-death-wish

    Frank Gasperini, the president and chief executive of the National Council of Agricultural Employers, told me that of the 1.5 million seasonal agricultural workers, somewhere between 50 and 80 percent are immigrants, depending on who’s counting. With the labor market so tight, he said, many farms are as much as 50 percent short of the workforce they need. Farmers have adapted by planting fewer acres with only the most high-margin crops, like grapes and almonds. Less profitable crops, like olives, have been pared back. (The California drought has also influenced these decisions.)

    Gasperini insists that farmers don’t purposely hire undocumented workers, but c’mon. They certainly know that many of their workers are in the U.S. illegally — and that a wholesale effort by the government to round them up and send them back would be devastating. Native-born citizens, Gasperini said, simply don’t want to pick crops, so farmers would have to either plant fewer acres or pay significantly higher wages to lure legal immigrants. The result would be two-fold: higher prices at the grocery store and an increase in imported fruits and vegetables. Oh, and what country would most likely be exporting those fruits and vegetables to the U.S.? Mexico. Somehow, I don’t think that’s the result Trump has in mind.

  • msanthropesmr

    A TeriBel is 1000 GigaBels.

    • Rick Hill

      But how many of them can wear spandex on the head of a pin?

      • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

        Only the ones who can tap dance in a gift horse’s mouth.

        • Rick Hill

          “a grift horse’s mouth”

          Fify

      • msanthropesmr

        Studebaker Hawk can write the lord’s prayer on the head of a pin.

        • Querolous

          He’s that skateboard dude, right?

    • AJ Milne

      … or roughly the loudness of the decor in a typical Trump lobby.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Are we going OT yet? Because I’ve just read two very interesting and informative articles on why the decline in manufacturing jobs isn’t tied to automation (news to me, anyway):

    Brad DeLong is far too lenient on trade policy’s role in generating economic distress for American workers

    Robots, or automation, are not the problem
    Too little worker power is

    • TJ Barke

      Protip: Capitalism is the problem.

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        Capitalism isn’t the problem. Unregulated capitalism is.

    • Mary Sandoras

      I used to work with automated equipment. The work is there, the skilled labor is not. I did contracting work, and companies would fly me all over the US, pay my lodging, give me a perdiem, plus salary to help get them out of a back log.

  • Rick Hill

    “…I am a member of Mensa, so I don’t think I would be classified as an idiot. ”

    Idk. trump has the biggest smertest brain in the universe and look at what how well that’s working out

    • Andy_Kreiss

      There must be some alt-Mensa organization out there, probably the descendent of those “Draw the Pirate” art schools.

  • lowenufc

    That Batman was more disappointing than the one with George Clooney.
    Bad Batman! Bad! Bad!

  • Suse
  • Pookabun

    Bing, lol. So if we can figure out how to bring down BIng will that keep all the nutbags off the internet? OMG, that would be so awesome, there must be a way.

  • guppy06

    you are complete trash. useless, horribly confused, naïve, lowlife trash.

    I think I dated this one.

  • Nounverb911

    March and rally in front of the NY Times today protesting Trump’s attack on the press.

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/835940755558567939

    • Suse

      Big protest in London (Trafalger Square) today against Drumpf.

  • bookish

    https://theintercept.com/2017/02/26/the-long-history-of-deportation-scare-tactics-at-the-u-s-mexico-border/

    Despite the emotionally charged rollout of these policies, it remains to be seen whether they will be fully implemented; the money and manpower required to do so would be extraordinary. There are parallels between Trump’s efforts and previous U.S. immigration crackdowns, when rhetoric about “criminal aliens,” hyped-up raids, and inflated deportation numbers created what was essentially a “terror campaign” in Mexican immigrant communities, says Kelly Lytle Hernandez, a historian at the University of California, Los Angeles.

    “I think it would serve us to do our best to fight back against the scare campaign” promoting Trump’s enforcement operations, she said. “I don’t want to suggest that the terror isn’t real. But we don’t want to inflate it. I don’t want to fulfill Trump’s vision of mass deportation by fueling the panic and fear.”

  • guppy06

    you misguided useful idiots

    I’m useful? YES! I can cancel my next therapy session now!

  • TheBoatDude

    “…realize that they could be attracting a slightly bigger audience of liberal lemmings if you were just reporting facts, without the spin.”

    There’s something here…but I can’t quite put my finger on it…something about liberals and facts…

  • Shibusa

    Sari T is one of those obese, pale, hairy-backed dudes who goes onto dating web sites pretending to be a “hot horny MILF” so he can e-hook up with other dudes.

    • Suse

      Read its comment history – yuck!

      • The Flaming Carrot

        It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

    • tehbaddr

      I just read that. Must be true!

  • bookish

    https://www.wired.com/2017/02/math-behind-trumps-deportation-plan-makes-no-sense/

    The new immigration guidelines released by Department of Homeland Security chief General John Kelly this week broaden the categories of people prioritized for deportation. Instead of focusing on violent criminals, the department will now go after anyone who’s ever committed fraud or misrepresented themselves to the US government—a description that essentially includes anyone who’s ever lived in the country illegally. The department claims its expanded plan will enhance public safety. But adding millions of new potential “criminals” to the list goes against prevailing trends in policing toward tech-driven, targeted enforcement. In other words, by making everyone a criminal, the administration will have a tougher time cracking down on real crime.

    “Most probabilistic approaches to predicting crime are about trying to narrow the set of potential points of interdiction, not expanding them,” says Jeff Brantingham, a UCLA anthropologist who has worked on predictive policing tools.

    Policing has come a long way from the dragnet days of the 1950s. Today, police departments are rapidly integrating data and machine learning algorithms to weed out low-level offenders from the system and divert those resources to catching and rehabilitating actually dangerous criminals. These tactics come with their own problems: some predictive technologies have exhibited serious racial biases. But even Democrats and Republicans have agreed in recent years that finely tuned policing is smart policing.

  • Nounverb911

    I’m sure the discussion will be one way only.
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/835946001873657858

    • The Wanderer

      Otherwise known as “How far can we fuck over your citizens?”

      • ltmcdies

        how’s he going to hate tweet the Oscars and harangue the governors…can Trump multitask

        • AJ Milne

          Can we divide his attention one more way? How hard can it be to crash him?

          (Hey, just a little experiment.)

        • WeaselPoo

          Actually Trump is an accomplished multitasker (unlike Hitlery Clinton who can only kill her enemies one at a time)–consider how many sentences he begins and then begins another sentence before finishing the first one.
          Or consider how many taxes he’s avoided, simultaneously.

    • boyblue123

      Gonna make Chris Christie order the crappy meatloaf

    • guppy06

      something something “Red Wedding.”

    • tehbaddr

      Main course; Shit Sandwich, please notify your server if you want mayo on that.

    • therblig

      in between tweets about the “anti-american set designer” and “sound editor who didn’t get 306 electoral votes”

  • The Flaming Carrot

    I think daviedave is actually Grumpy Cat.

    • MOG253

      Nope, not as cute.

  • Bill D. Burger

    [Gaffe: Christie reveals real reason GOP won’t agree to independent Russia probe
    By Tommy Christopher |
    FEBRUARY 26, 2017
    In the wake of the revelation that the Trump White House and the FBI colluded to quash a story about contacts between Donald Trump’s campaign and Russia, pressure is mounting for an independent special prosecutor. New Jersey Governor and frequent Trump surrogate Chris Christie (R-NJ) slipped up Sunday morning, and gave away the real reason Republicans are resisting such an investigation.

    On CNN’s State of the Union, Trump surrogate, New Jersey Governor, and former prosecutor Chris Christie (R-NJ) gave a tellingly honest response to Issa’s and others’ calls for a special prosecutor.

    “I just think, Jake — and this is whether you’re a Republican or a Democrat, we’ve seen it happen on both sides — when a special prosecutor gets involved, the thing gets completely out of control. And I think that doesn’t serve anybody’s purposes. We have a lot of important problems to deal with in this country, and this — I’m not saying that’s not one of them, but I believe the Justice Department can handle it.

    As any prosecutor worth their salt would surely say, though, the purpose of an investigation is not to “serve anybody’s purposes” or to remain in “control” of anyone — it is to discover the truth. Christie’s statement handily explains what we already knew about Republican resistance to a special prosecutor, and insistence on Republican-controlled committee investigations: They want to keep the Trump administration’s misconduct under Republican control, to serve Republican purposes.]

    http://shareblue.com/gaffe-christie-reveals-real-reason-gop-wont-agree-to-independent-russia-probe/

  • bookish

    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/02/how-communities-are-defending-themselves-against-raids

    Immigrant-rights organizations are bracing themselves for the new challenges ahead under the Trump administration. “We don’t know exactly how the attacks will come or where,” says Salvador Sarmiento, national campaign coordinator at the National Day Laborer Organizing Network (NDLON). “If the first two weeks give us any sort of idea, they can easily ramp up deportations and they can hit record numbers. It’s a world of difference when the federal government doesn’t even pretend to have any sort of respect for basic notions of due process or rule of law.”

    In the face of these threats, activists are fighting back. Here’s how Sarmiento’s organization, along with other groups such as the Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles (CHIRLA) and Puente Human Rights Movement, are preparing immigrant communities to defend themselves under the Trump administration.

    http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/deportation-threat-inspires-new-sanctuary-response-in-seattle-area/

    https://fsrn.org/2017/02/mother-seeks-sanctuary-in-denver-church-dhs-immigration-enforcement-plans-take-shape/

    http://www.haaretz.com/us-news/1.773933

  • Nounverb911
  • EddieFrancis

    “you misguided useful idiots really are”

    well, at least he does admit you’re useful

    • TJ Barke

      Beats being used to get a pathological lying, narcissistic, authoritarian thug and his white supremacist toadies elected to the presidency.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    As an “elder” commenter I must offer a geriatric response to An American …. Get the fuck off my lawn.

    • MOG253

      You tell them! Time for my nap.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        And my little hard candies.

  • kareemachan

    I hope Zach realizes that we are laughing at him just as much as we laugh at the “Moran” dude.

    Like, fall out of your chair laughing.

    • Andy_Kreiss

      Every time some internet righty genius busts my spelling on “moran”, a demon gets his dopey MAGA cap.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh…lil’ shoutout to Delaware. Democrats retain control of the DE Senate.
    Democrat crushes opponent in district where the past numbers were very close.
    It’s being called the “Trump effect” and I say: Keep it going!

    [Momentum: Resistance scores its first electoral win
    By Matthew Chapman |
    FEBRUARY 26, 2017
    After nationwide support and attention from Democrats, Stephanie Hansen has easily won the special election for Delaware’s tenth senate district, maintaining Democratic control of the state senate.
    Hansen beat her opponent, ex-NYPD officer John Marino, by a margin of 58 percent to 42 percent. Marino previously ran for this seat in 2014, losing by just 2 percent.
    Democrats’ much larger victory this time around was a result of nationwide attention from activists.]

    People! It’s working and it works. Get out the vote; get out and vote.

    http://shareblue.com/momentum-resistance-scores-its-first-electoral-win/

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Our Dem congresscritter told us at our Indivisible meeting that there are 24 Republican districts where Hillary beat Trump. If we get 24 seats, then we can flip Congress. The Senate will be harder.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Baby conservatives at CPAC are trying to decide if being a deranged racist in bed with nazis is a good career move.

    https://twitter.com/radleybalko/status/835668872820846593

    • ariel_gee_398

      Well, Mengele certainly made a go of it.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        And hey, they’ve got a contact down in Brazil if things go south.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Tomorrow belongs to me…..

    • MizzMazz

      Goddammit, those teeth! Like yellow corn! Brush your fangs once in a while!

  • “Id love to whoop that ass. ”
    “… Id love to meet your wrinkly ass in person”

    Hey Evan, Zach (An American) seems right keen on your ass. I don’t know how keen you are for nasty hate-sex with a Trumpanzee power-bottom, but it seems to be yours if you want it.

    • Andy_Kreiss

      Haha, didn’t see this before I posted above. They accidentally confess so much.

  • bookish

    http://www.commondreams.org/views/2017/02/24/yes-we-can-fight-trumps-deportation-force
    On the same day the Trump administration detailed its cruel plan to target and deport undocumented immigrants, Chicago Public Schools sent some guidance to its principals:

    “ICE should not be permitted access to CPS facilities or personnel except in the rare instance in which we are provided with a criminal warrant.”
    “If a child is left stranded at your school…because [the] parent is detained, please exhaust the child’s emergency contact list.”
    Let both of these points sink in for a minute.

    A major city declaring that it won’t let immigration authorities enter its schools without a warrant is coming just at the beginning of Trump’s clampdown. It speaks volumes about the potential impact of the government’s plan to turn Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) into a militarized and sweeping deportation force. School districts like Chicago’s are reacting not because they have enlightened bureaucrats. They’re responding to fear and panic from families and children in their communities.

    http://www.santafenewmexican.com/news/local_news/immigrant-parents-scramble-to-designate-emergency-caretakers-in-case-they/article_2bd6d1c7-b041-53aa-8be6-6cc2f46042f0.html

    http://www.voiceofsandiego.org/topics/education/schools-try-thread-needle-soothing-deportation-fears-overpromising/

  • guppy06

    If we did have a sample of Trump’s blood, we could find out if he really is Ivanka’s father and/or the father of her children.

  • goonemeritus

    Zach really didn’t have to end that screed with “An American”. Nobody would have suspected he was Canadian with all the threatening and punchiness.

    • Andy_Kreiss

      Zach seemed really interested in an ass-related real life personal meeting. As do many totally-straight conservative trolls.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Suse

      I like the gif saying Your Son Murdered a Dog.

    • It was the only place big enough to hold them all.

      HEEEYYY-OOOOH!

    • therblig

      so dinesh d’souza IS getting an oscar?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        He got plenty of Razzies.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Probably from a Duggar, since they’re already onsite.

  • Fun coincidence from my life. On leaving work today, shoving my ear buds in and hitting shuffle in my spotify brought me “Take this Job and Shove it”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They played that song at my retirement party. I guess my attitude towards the end wasn’t great.

  • Chadwells

    Fox News is to the US….what Rossiya Segodny is to Russia.

    “Swedes Stumped By Swedish ‘National Security Adviser’ On Fox”

    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_58b294d1e4b060480e089f69?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • OrG

      Fake news on fux.(notice no ” “)

    • Suse

      Fake person giving fake news on a fake news show. I am shocked!

      • The Wanderer

        Fakeception?

        • Tiny kaiju

          It’s fakes all the way down?

  • data_ninja
  • Nounverb911

    In other protest and march news, protesters in Moscow used larger versions of CPAC trump flags to protest putin.

    https://twitter.com/RFERL/status/835938762844680193

  • going4baroque

    Totally off topic: I discovered an amazing writer today, and probably there are a few wonkets that are aware of this guy, he wrote a few books decades ago, Irish, and here’s an excerpt and that’s it:
    O’Brien, Flann. At Swim-Two-Birds

    Chapter I
    HAVING placed in my mouth sufficient bread for three minutes’ chewing, I withdrew my powers of sensual perception and retired into the privacy of my mind, my eyes and face assuming a vacant and preoccupied expression. I reflected on the subject of my spare-time literary activities.
    One beginning and one ending for a book was a thing I did not agree with. A good book may have three openings entirely dissimilar and inter-related only in the prescience of the author, or for that matter one hundred times as many endings.
    Examples of three separate openings—the first: The Pooka MacPhellimey, a member of the devil class, sat in his hut in the middle of a firewood meditating on the nature of the numerals and segregating in his mind the odd ones from the even. He was seated at his diptych or ancient two-leaved hinged writing-table with inner sides waxed. His rough long-nailed fingers toyed with a snuff-box of perfect rotundity and through a gap in his teeth he whistled a civil cavatina. He was a courtly man and received honour by reason of the generous treatment he gave his wife, one of the Corrigans of Carlow.
    The second opening: There was nothing unusual in the appearance of Mr. John Furriskey but actually he had one distinction that is rarely encountered—he was born at the age of twenty-five and entered the world with a memory but without a personal experience to account for it. His teeth were well-formed but stained by tobacco, with two molars filled and a cavity threatened in the left canine. His knowledge of physics was moderate and extended to Boyle’s Law and the Parallelogram of Forces.
    The third opening: Finn Mac Cool was a legendary hero of old Ireland. Though not mentally robust, he was a man of superb physique and development. Each of his thighs was as thick as a horse’s belly, narrowing to a calf as thick as the belly of a foal. Three fifties of fosterlings could engage with handball against the wideness of his backside, which was large enough to halt the march of men through a mountain-pass. I hurt a tooth in the corner of my jaw with a lump of the crust I was eating. This recalled me to the perception of my surroundings.
    (amazon kindle version: $7.50)

    • Andy_Kreiss

      I recommend The Poor Mouth.

      Still disappointed in finding out his was a pseudonym. I’d hoped we were related.

      • going4baroque

        thanks for the recommendation, it will be my next read, sorry about the missed kinship :)

        • Andy_Kreiss

          That’s OK, most of my actual family doesn’t even acknowledge me. :)

    • Tiny kaiju

      That book killed me a couple of times. I never did finish it and I count that as a moral failure on my part.

      • going4baroque

        I feel kinda like that in my relationship with Moby Dick, never finished the thing, but I’ve read the first 200 pages 20 times.
        Two Birds-At-Swim, which I have just started and may not, like yourself, ever finish, might just be chick lit, anyway – if Dylan Thomas is a reliable critic: “Just the book to give to your sister, if she is a dirty, boozey girl.”

  • Moebym of the Returners

    “terribel”? Is that like a decibel, but many orders of magnitude larger?

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      It is used to measure annoying sounds. Like ABBA, Trump’s voice, Nickelback, Robert Plant singing, stuff like that there.

      • pussygrabber in chief

        Hey! Robert Plant lib — never mind.

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          If he is paired with Allison Krause it may cause the scale of TerriBel to quadruple.

    • Stella Thomas

      Haha lol for real

    • msanthropesmr

      As I said below (said in my best Comic Guy Voice)
      A TeriBel is 1000 GigaBels

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        That is known as a ClaraBel

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Exponentially expanding awfulness? Works for me at this point.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • OrG

      It’s almost like anything trump doesn’t want you to know is “fake news”tm.

  • MOG253

    Hoping you had plenty of adult beverages close by when you read all that crap. Seriously, don’t think I could do it without my brain exploding. The stupid is strong with these folks.

    • Andy_Kreiss

      And they all think they’re geniuses, even the ones who don’t belong to some make-believe MENSA. That’s what makes it extra hilarious.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      “I belong to Mensa, so I’m really smart”. Really smart people don’t have to convince others that they are intelligent.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        He’s, like, a smart person.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          He has the best brain…better than anyone’s.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump is POTUS:

      (P)eeing
      (O)n
      (T)he
      (U)nited
      (S)tates

  • retiredeng

    “FYI: I am a VET, so I have more than decent healthcare.”

    Now there’s a problem with that statement. Not all veterans can qualify for VA benefits.

    • Stella Thomas

      I think he means veterinarian, duh . . .

      • retiredeng

        That crossed my mind at the time too.

    • William_C_Diaz

      I have VA care and am dying from it. As a former practicioner, I can say without fear of contradiction that their docs range from ‘Ok’ to ‘Joseph Mengele, Jr, MD..

      Have a great day!

    • I would add to that, in response to the “Maybe if your liberal cowardice had allowed you to volunteer to serve this country…” part, that I am a liberal who volunteered to serve this country in the US Army, and in that service I volunteered to be an Infantryman, and in THAT service I volunteered to jump out of perfectly airworthy aircraft while they were in flight. These conservative jackasses seem to think that they have the market cornered for military service.

      • retiredeng

        Lots of us served in the military. For me it was the Navy during late 1960s. Vietnam.

  • Treg Brown
  • bookish

    http://www.newsweek.com/epa-head-aggressive-cuts-rollback-obama-green-rules-560980

    U.S. President Donald Trump’s administration will begin rolling back Obama-era environmental regulations in an “aggressive way” as soon as next week, the head of the Environmental Protection Agency said on Saturday—adding he understood why some Americans want to see his agency eliminated completely.

    “I think there are some regulations that in the near-term need to be rolled back in a very aggressive way. And I think maybe next week you may be hearing about some of those,” EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt told the Conservative Political Action summit in Washington DC.

    Pruitt added the EPA’s focus on combating climate change under former President Barack Obama had cost jobs and prevented economic growth, leading many Americans to want to see the EPA eliminated completely.

    • TJ Barke

      Uh no, the greed of execs and shareholders cost jobs…

    • Aside from the falsehood that the regulations cost jobs, I noted quite frequently that when there was a disaster related to a failure to enforce said regulations, those rather “conservative” areas were the first to scream for federal help and money. I’m getting to the point where I’m think the best remedy would be to tell them to “suck it up and suffer” the next time some coal ash lagoon lets go, chemicals or oil dumps into their water supply, or other similar instances.

  • RC

    so they didn’t like the dick jokes?

    • The Wanderer

      Dick jokes make them feel uncomfortable and sad, because they know they can never measure up.

    • Passerby

      Nor the corn bread either: https://youtu.be/X_47Z9NolAI

  • Suse

    Our nerdy dad, Tim Kaine, turned 59 today.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Youngun……..too bad he ain’t VP……..

    • Moebym of the Returners

      That makes him about ten months younger than my parents! He looks really good for his age – must be how jolly he always seems.

  • bookish

    The White House hasn’t ruled out a recusal from the attorney general on probes into Russian meddling in the election as prominent Republicans continue to resist calls for an independent investigation.

    Republicans on the Sunday morning news shows either downplayed a need for an independent probe into Russia’s activities or rejected the idea entirely while Democrats continued to call for greater urgency amid FBI investigations and in light of Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ support for Donald Trump during the primary campaign.

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders, deputy White House secretary, insisted on ABC’s “This Week” that the FBI views reports of administration contacts with Russian officials as “BS” and said calls for Sessions to step aside are premature.

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      Pfft. Calls for Jeffie to step aside are, if anything, POSTmature.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Getting really, really close to the mark, aren’t they?

  • Suse
  • Yr. Gma

    I don’t know if this is the ugliest picture of KaC currently available, but it’s bad when she looks worse than “president” Bannon.

    http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/255_143/58b119e22900002100beadad.jpg

    • Michael R

      Are they using a leaf blower on her or is that just her regular face ?

    • snark-lurker

      i am reminded of that Twilight Zone about the masks

    • boyblue123

      Looks like she hasnt slept in a couple years

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      With a small wardrobe change, she could be a mutant in the next Mad Max movie.

    • Vienna Woods

      Lookism aside, she’s aging very bizarrely. She almost seems to be melting. Did she have some bad work done or something?

      • The Witch of Endor

        This pic reminds me of pictures of people who’ve had botox injections go wrong.

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        Maybe she looked at the Ark of the Covenant.

      • doktorzoom

        I may be a looksist. My first thought was she’s cosplaying the Salt Vampire from Star Trek TOS.

        OK, a looksist and a nerd.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Oh Gawwd’! It’s like Cartman meets The Cryptkeeper.

    • pstockholm

      Guess they haven’t heard about those portraits you can get to put up in your attic.

  • Nounverb911

    A horse, a horse’s ass and Andy Warhol — 1983
    /FIFY

    https://twitter.com/mtracey/status/835948069845753856

    • Treg Brown

      God. He was shaped like a gourd even back then.

    • Shoto

      Andy Warhol, a horse, and a horse’s ass.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ole Bill Paxton too.

      • Yr. Gma

        I don’t think Donnie can nominate his replacement.

      • William_C_Diaz

        Game over, man!

        Have a great day!

    • Shoto

      Someone needs to tell Orange Donnie about this, imploring him to immediately fill the vacancy with Neil Gorsuch. While it’s unfortunate that Gorsuch will no longer be available to fill the SCOTUS seat, sometimes sacrifices must be made to keep the country moving forward.

      Drumpf is so stupid and unhinged that it might just be possible to sell him on it. It’s worth a shot, right?

  • goonemeritus

    u·ma·mi
    o͞oˈmämē/
    noun
    noun: umami
    a category of taste in food (besides sweet, sour, salt, and bitter), corresponding to the flavor of glutamates, especially monosodium glutamate

    Your move “Sari T”

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Speaking of OT, there was an interesting filing on Friday in the 9th circuit, immigration ban thing…I love this response from the Plaintiffs.

    “Although Defendants contend that this case presents urgent national security issues, they now request indefinite delay of the Ninth Circuit proceedings. There is no justification for delay of the briefing schedule. Contrary to representations made to this Court on February 16, 2017, President Trump and the White House Press Secretary have repeatedly stated that they intend to pursue this appeal and defend the Executive Order—not repeal it.”

    http://cdn.ca9.uscourts.gov/datastore/general/2017/02/24/17-35105%20-%20Response%20opposing%20motion.pdf

    • Suse

      Hmmm…

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        “Given the President’s stated intention to pursue the appeal of the preliminary injunction, there is no justification for the extraordinary request that proceedings be “held in abeyance.”2

        2 Defendants do not cite any court rules or other authority to support their request that proceedings be indeterminately stayed.”

        ….
        “President Trump’s intent to pursue the present litigation—rather than rescind the Order—was confirmed as recently as yesterday. During the White House press briefing, Press Secretary Sean Spicer stated that the President will continue to pursue the case in the Ninth Circuit, rather than withdrawing the Executive Order.

        • Rick Hill

          Yup. Time for team trump to start undermining the authority of the courts and the rule of law. Kind of essential if he’s going to be preznit for life.

  • Bill Slider

    WOW, glad I ceased commenting as ChristianMuslin. Now, if I would just stop talking about the Messicans.

  • Tiny kaiju

    With regards to Archibald Hooks writing style; I admit I am frequently at war with commas, colons and semi colons, but even I know that’s not how ellipses should be used. I suspect he was trying to mimic his speech pattern by pausing to catch his breath or take a sip his prune and vodka tonic.

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      That’s mostly why I use ’em. I do tend to… pause to wave my hands around, and trail off when speaking…

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Me…also too.

    • Blackest Noobs
    • Tio_Doidinho

      I have an NRA-worshiping aunt who does precisely the same thing. Insane statement….even more insane statement…passive-aggressive defense….loopy non-sequitur….racist insult. Drives me nuts.

  • Nounverb911
    • tehbaddr

      The Drumpfs almost looks like a Blue Meanie Butterfly!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Steven

    ‘a hallow shell of your younger self’

    that’s actually poetic

    • snark-lurker

      i donut feel hollow

    • Greyhame

      Zach’s unintentional ode to the memories of youth.

  • Michael R

    This diagram helps you understand how
    the Trump administration is doing so far … https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7615aad1563c7de83b8dc1793b914bbef6141352792558729ec7f29083e3f18f.gif

    • shaar dula

      hahahahahahahahahaha

    • Moebym of the Returners

      Whap whap whap whap whap whap whap

    • WeaselPoo

      So is the tractor Obama? It is isn’t it! Or is it ISIS? Unless it’s FAKE NEWS! That’s it! Though it could be Mexican wall builders. Or SNL? Sanctuary cities maybe?
      Whatever. it looks like all that winning I’m starting to get sick-of already.

    • Jamoche

      Trees 2: Revenge of the Trees
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWHEcIbhDiw

    • tinker12

      Instant karma’s gonna get you.

    • tehbaddr

      ‘Merika!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Shit, I could watch this all day.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Enough about me, tell me more about me.

    https://twitter.com/MahirZeynalov/status/835340910468694020

    • Makes me feel sad for the rest. . .

    • Rick Hill

      We all need to stop and reflect on just how trump has affected each and every us…and how we can let him do so even more bigly…

      • Left Coast Tom

        Trump affected me because during my vacation in New Zealand I had to call myself a “Californian” rather than an “American”. I was right that folks abroad are sufficiently familiar with California for this to work; unfortunately, their familiarity is high enough that I got questions about “CalExit”.

        Oh well, at least I got to look at stuff like this:
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/48f0bf31aa97190e12eb08dc9d37db05e61baf05f0c11c119ae55cf81b917abe.jpg

        • bupkus23

          Too bad that wouldn’t work for “FlorExit”.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Nobody for President! He or she sounds like the only one better than Trump.

    • Shoto

      Jeezuz, he’s a fucking lunatic. Completely off his orange, cotton candy-headed rocker.

    • MizzMazz

      I’d be tempted to put that to a beat, but you…just..can’t.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    More headstones overturned at a Jewish cemetery. Ugh.

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/835954089179623428

    • snark-lurker

      Why? i donut understand why.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        Why? It’s cool to hate now.

        • snark-lurker

          hell of a way to express hatred: with a gross display of infantile cowardice

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            The cowardice of bigots who vent their hatred on dead people cannot be overstated.

          • tehbaddr

            But they were Jews!

        • tehbaddr

          I didn’t see you at the two minute hate this afternoon. Are you all right?

      • tehbaddr

        Because hateful bastards, basically following in the footsteps of the Nazis.

    • Carpe Vagenda
      • bupkus23

        “anti Semite Keith Ellison”????

        It’s clear the only thing that makes him an antisemite in this asshole’s “mind” is the fact that Ellison is Muslim.

        Shitbird has no clue. Wish The Ride Pundit had ripped him a new one.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Nah. It was better to not let him make this about that bullshit.

    • Shoto

      “False flag operation being promoted by the Joo-Liebrul media.”

      — Alex Jones

    • TJ Barke

      Same cemetery or another one?

      • Moebym of the Returners

        Different cemetery.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Has the orange one made American great again, yet? Is this what it looks like?

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        Pretty much, yeah.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • So, this is a thing that has been happening:

    Meryl Streep Bitches About Media Lies In Epic Slapfest With Karl Largerfeld.

    I just cannot think of a reason why this might be getting reported like this. Nope. Not a one.

  • honeywest

    I’m still trying to figure out how poster gave you a pyrrhic victory. These high school kids are so cute when they use their words.

    • TJ Barke

      It was on the vocab test and he got an A-

    • William_C_Diaz

      Wonkets have wonked Pyrrhus and will be putting the population to the sword (really a tickle feather) forthwith!

      Have a great day!

    • Greyhame

      We’re going to have to mark him down a full grade for being oblivious to irony while failing to realize that a blogging site so obviously editorializing aggregated news content is, by definition, not meant to be an objective source of journalism.

  • Rick Hill

    MAGA! What the US looked likebefore the EPA
    http://www.rawstory.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/epa-478×257.jpg

    • Michael R

      MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN !!!

      https://s23.postimg.org/mfrh5l6tn/pacer.jpg

      • Whoa! Whoa! Pace yourself, there, dude!

      • The Librarian

        Used to call those moon mobiles

      • snark-lurker

        too far ahead of the times

      • My best friend in high school drove a bright orange Pacer and I drove a bright yellow Datsun ‘Honey Bee’.

        We did not run with the cool kids, you’d be surprised to learn.

      • Greyhame

        It needs monster truck tires to be truly great.

      • WeaselPoo

        I drove one of these a bit. It was weird, but I liked it more than the AMC Gremlin.

        • Actually, although the rear visibility sucked, I liked the Gremlin I had.

        • puredog

          Evergreen definition of a low bar. “Donald Trump is a dumpster fire, but I like him more than the AMC Gremlin.”

    • Bill D. Burger

      Republican paradise! They only trust air they can see and water they can set on fire.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc510f1e729ec8a71a4a50d32524eb16c7c146ad8a42ace6f1b7fe680ef6ba82.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      I look forward to all the cancer.

    • RC

      The new contest is to see which state can end up with the most Superfund sights.

      • Rick Hill

        *Disclaimer: Superfunds are no longer available nor are corporations required to provide more than a shrug.

        • RC

          yes, but dirty up the country enough and the dems will bring the regulations back and make them pay for clean up.

          • Bitter Scribe

            Dream on. You’re talking about the country that just elected a reality show host as president.

          • RC

            give it a few years, enough dirty water, enough dirty air and we’ll go back to what started the last clean up. Although it could be it won’t matter if the blue states hold the line and the only places that are totally f’ed up are red states where they’re all in favor of trading those things for mythical jobs.

    • Jamoche

      What I learned from Daylight Atheism’s takedown of Atlas Shrugged: this is what Ayn Rand thought progress looked like.

    • I remember the skies over Birmingham, AL looking like this when I was a kid. Made for some colorful sunsets…

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Same here when visiting relatives in Pittsburgh, red sun at 3 PM in the summer.

      • RC

        I remember the stink from the pulp mills and the Asarco smelter.

    • Ωbjectifier
    • tehbaddr

      I see nothing wrong here, more jerbs!

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah! More money for health care. People don’t live as long, saves SS(so Ryan can gut it) More coffin makers. win-win!

        • tehbaddr

          Thinning the herd while they applaud.

      • wavicles

        “Smells like money to me.”

        • Bitter Scribe

          It’s amazing and pathetic how the people who say that see so little of it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      When I was a kid, washing the car in Philly was completely pointless, because just driving down the street flithed it up again.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • TJ Barke

      Because never in the history of warfare has retreat been strategically sound…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Hey. Tell that to the brave british soldiers who mowed them down at Dunkirk.

        • WeaselPoo

          and French (they were in it too.)

          • Carpe Vagenda

            While horse and hero fell,
            They that had fought so well
            Came thro’ the jaws of Death
            Back from the mouth of Hell,
            All that was left of them,
            Left of six hundred.
            So we shot them.

      • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

        He would have been right home riding into the Battle of Balaclava.

        • Left-wing Fascist Ron

          It’s not cold enough in Florida for a balaclava.

      • Sandy Beaches

        Warfare? I thought it was a reference to an afternoon at the Old Country Buffet.

    • Uh, oh. Have the pirates of the Caribbean been acting up, again?

    • Rick Hill

      Haven’t you heard? Dizney has gators!!!1! Proly Cuban ones!! Assides, it sounds so badass, specially when you don’t have to do any actual fighting or bleeding.

    • Vincent Ricola

      The matching mouse ears in this picture are fantastic. I wonder if he bought them at Disney or if he coordinated the whole outfit at home.

    • ariel_gee_398

      That seems like a sound strategy for dealing with the line for Space Mountain.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Tactical mouse ears.

      • tehbaddr

        They really do complete the outfit!

      • DainBramage

        They’re packed with tin foil.

    • ltmcdies

      Same thing as happened in Sweden?

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      Perhaps he’s on his way to refresh the Liberty Tree Tavern with the blood of tourists.

    • UnsaltedSinner
    • Left Coast Tom

      Can I read all the red text as “POINT AND LAUGH”, or do I need to follow that with “with votes”?

      • puredog

        I’ll allow it.

    • BadKitty904

      Pretty tough talk from a jacket.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Not even a full mental jacket. Probably half mental.

        • BadKitty904

          Full Polyester Jacket

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He will have to pull those pants up before he can retreat, anyway.

    • Left-wing Fascist Ron

      I haz a confuse. If he retreats, I’m supposed to kill him, but if he does I’m supposed to avenge him. Does that mean, if he retreats I’ll end up declaring vendetta upon myself?

    • doktorzoom

      Apparently it’s a Marines thing?

      https://twitter.com/USMC/status/378805924456321024

      Not that it’s official policy. Really would have complicated the retreat from the Chosin Reservoir. And apparently the phrase was made famous by a Royalist during the French Revolution. I’d never heard it before; anyone care to enlighten us on how it fits into USMC mythology/culture?

    • Persistent Demme

      He must be fun at parties!

  • Rick Hill

    And now, the counter argument for repealing the aCA, the pre-existing are scammers.(No mention of the insurers and investment companies that are scamming, though)
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/02/rick-santorum-millions-of-americans-with-preexisting-conditions-are-scammers-stealing-health-care/?comments=disqus

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Do they not understand that this time they’re calling their own voters liars and scam artists? Not imaginary liberals or fantasy lesbian farmers or evul made up mooselimbs. Their own voters.

      • Left Coast Tom

        In fairness, their own voters seem to be the type of people who enjoy being called liars and scam artists by those whom they support.

        • Rick Hill

          Badge of honor?

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          The melanin having scammers are the problem, not Real Americans™.

      • Suse

        I totally forgot the lesbian farmers!

        • DON’T FORGET THE LESBIAN FARMERS!

          • Khavrinen

            WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN LESBIAN FARMERS!

          • WeaselPoo

            Are they swedish bowlers? because if they are, I’ll remember them.
            If not…probably fake.

      • Jamoche

        They’re aiming at the “I’ve been on food stamps and welfare. Anybody help me out? No.” crowd.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Aimed at the “keep your government hands off my Medicare” crowd.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The alien lesbian farmers are not real? But is says in that Dead Milkmen song….

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Silly. What would aliens do with ripe lesbians?

      • Sandy Beaches

        I’m a fantasy lesbian farmer. The struggle is real, I tell ya!

      • Shucky Ducky

        Their base do not see themselves in this statement. Everybody knows that scammers are, by definition, the blahs.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Well, if you liberals were all veterans like RK Wall, you could enjoy socialized medicine, which all conservatives know is the best kind!

      • All you have to do is redefine “veteran” to mean “20 years or more, and retired” to qualify! Oh, and ignore that Republicans want to privatize the VA.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s a stupid argument, as usual. And it shows how tone deaf they truly are. Many of their base are sick people with pre existing conditions.
      Insulting and denigrating sick people will make 80% of Americans hate you.

      • RC

        yea, but they get most of their funding from the other 20% so those are the only people who matter and lets face it they can afford the best health care available.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Oh, I do hope so.

  • Martini Ambassador
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Obviously another neo-liberal corporatist sellout…thank goodness.

  • Anyone else wonder what the emphatic “Jack-clown!” at the end of Sari T’s screed was all about?

    • tehbaddr

      Must be the newest alt blight insult, like cuck, or beta.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Something about a fast food restaurant?

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Probably one of Andrew Puzder’s.

    • puredog

      It’s a thing. Per Urb Dict (but more questions: “snubbish” or “snobbish”?):

      Jackclown

      An person who’s Ignorantly snubbish or has total disregard for knowledge.

      Henry Gyrich is a total Jackclown who could do anything to get on The
      Avengers’ bad side because he even revokes their priority status after
      taking issue with the team especially The Falcon.

  • Martini Ambassador
    • OrG

      Lock Her Up!

    • Rick Hill

      Has no one in France started a “Do we really want to follow the Brits and the American’s example?” campaign, yet?

      • OrG

        It would work.I’ve been to to France,and they do NOT want to follow our example.

      • As I understand it, there are some who are touting some guy named “Barack Obama” for president there. :-)

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Perez is hitting all the right notes.

    https://twitter.com/sahilkapur/status/825766489575870465

  • Suse
  • Libby liberal

    On the bright side, Zach did refer to Wonkette as part of the MSM, so that’s something

    • Querolous

      Many Snarky Memes?

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I’m not surprised to learn that wingnuts prefer Bing. It’s just as confused by this world and its many languages as they are.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/91ec516ddc2cbb612cddc2813e698ad0a533fb37ae711eb3a337a9bab13165cd.png

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I have a few Dutch and Swedish FB friends. The Book of Faces creates some amazing gibberish when you hit the translate button.

      • Left-wing Fascist Ron

        As opposed to the amazing gibberish created by the average FB user.

    • Beulah
      • RC

        well that’s creepy

    • Greyhame

      And here I’ve been paying my hard-earned rubles to those Google commies for months so they could be my fiber-optic ISP! I guess I have to go back to the real patriotic American company for internet services, Comcast.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    When I first got to Houston, I needed friends. My wife and I joined the local MENSA. No offense to any readers here, but the screen was to strange for us. We started following some local Blues band instead.

    • beingreleased

      Was it Joe “Guitar” Hughes?

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Did you have to take some arbitrary test? F that.

      Also too, I thought it sounded too much like “menses.” I’ve got enough of that already.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        We both had test histories. Mine with the GRE and hers with the LSAT. It wasn’t that nerds were a problem, we expected them. It was the pedophiles we came across and reported, the partner swap scene that a part of the local chapter, and the general condescension among members. I’ve seen the same problems among musicians, but they are more fun to hang with.

  • major_asshole

    I am honored to have taken part in the “Hermione” bullshittery. Glad he got deleted. Keep up the good fight Dok!

  • Nounverb911
    • RC

      He has no idea just how much.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Me want!

      • puredog

        I dunno, Bamz be handsome, that image — not so much.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      Every single day, man.

      Been tempted to get the “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Hillary” shirt, too.

      • Left Coast Tom

        I have family in Michigan, so I visit every year…I need to buy one of those “Republic of California” state flag t-shirts.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    I’m not making a monthly payment for objectivity.

    • RC

      Yes! This is my happy place, a refuge from the bullshit as it were and I don’t need any objectivity. Fuck that.

    • BadKitty904

      What am I, a machine?

    • Ill-Advised

      He’ll be telling us he’s opposed to moral relativism next. Haha, now he won’t! IOKIYAR.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I can’t believe how long I payed to not see boobies…

  • Tony Prost

    What is funny, is how they seem to take it as a personal affront, that this is a liberal site!

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      And they were forced to come here.

      • WeaselPoo

        …by Hitlery…or else end up on her hit-list.

        • o’look Skwerl!

          She has killed more people than Hitler, Pol Pot, Ghengis Khan, Stalin, Jimmy Carter, and Obama combined.

          • WeaselPoo

            Not to mention Kathleen Whilley’s cat

            “Stone added that the book includes not only the serial rapes committed by Bill Clinton and Hillary’s cover up, but the “horiffic things” that were done to his victims. “Pets Killed. Tires slashed. Windshields Smashed in and bullets left in the front seat of cars. Late night phone calls: We know where you’re children go to school,” all of these threats were part of the Clintons intimidation tactics.” Breitbart.

          • Stella Thomas

            Ought to be a law for that. (Take it however you want)

          • WeaselPoo

            Indeed.. Trump could crack the entire Hitlery gang wide open by just taking all those business destroying regulations, applying white out to the parts that mention specific industries, and write in her name instead.

          • thewalkindude

            “We know where ( you are) children go to school”… Trumpanzees summed up in one sentence.

          • Stella Thomas

            If the Clintons were going to kill anybody, I think they would have started with Roger effing Stone thirty years ago.

          • Mister Atoz

            “Effing” is my middle name, too. I thought mine was unique.

          • Stella Thomas

            Hahaha, yep

    • TJ Barke

      They take it as a personal affront that there are liberals.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        Bingo. And that we also have the right to free speech.

        • Stella Thomas

          And they WON

    • david

      That’s not what offends them.

    • BadKitty904

      How DARE we?!?1? *stamp, flounce*

    • Greyhame

      As if snarky editorializing of daily news wasn’t the entire point here … also risotto recipes.

      • OrG

        **Dick Jokes**

        • Greyhame

          Oh sure, you can insert dick jokes just about anywhere!

          • puredog

            But can you insert dicks just about anywhere? Asking for a friend.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Anywhere there’s a crack….

      • SayItWithOtters

        Obviously, they were just so oppressed and mind-controlled during the previous administration they couldn’t wait to break free and turn the tables.

      • Amy!

        Speaking of witches, did you know that there are recipes for making risotto in a slow cooker? I’m thrilled to pieces! Hope it turns out ….

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “How can this be allowed in TrumpAmerica? Are there no reeducation camps?!”

  • Martini Ambassador
    • WeaselPoo

      Go for them all, but especially PA, Michigan, Iowa and Florida–and for local elections too.

    • Persistent Demme
  • Greyhame

    It is so very difficult to insert the phrase “we the people” into any given comment section without sounding like a complete ass.

    • No, no! It’s really easy: “Donald Trump and the Republican “leadership” hate we the people.”

      See!

      Though, to be fair, it sounds wrong to say they hate we, and it’s more accurate to say they hate us. All of us.

      • Greyhame

        Hah! Well I should amend that to say it’s difficult to FIND anyone casually using the phrase in comment sections without surrounding it with a lot of self-aggrandizing soapbox proclamations and bullshit!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        We’re very small….

    • BadKitty904

      I’ve had no difficulty doing so since Nov. 9th.

      • Greyhame

        I suppose if you actually have the popular majority at your back (by a margin of nearly 3 million votes) then it becomes more valid to say something like we the people are not going to sit idly by while you turn America into a kleptocracy.

  • OrG

    Hey guys,anybody else been getting upfists from someone called KillSarahPalin?

    • Biff52

      Whoa, check out it’s history!

      • OrG

        Yeah,not really comfortable with someone that gets voted up on infowars.

        • Stella Thomas

          Geez, Block that sheet

          • Biff52

            I took your advice, preemptively.

      • doktorzoom

        Very strange. Don’t see any comments here, but for the first time ever, I’ma preemptively banhammer someone.

        • Biff52

          Odd that I just got notice of your reply this minute–maybe there is something to this guy’s delusions?

          • doktorzoom

            (Twilight Zone music)

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Not me. Maybe you’re just special.

      • OrG

        I AM special.But still……..

    • ariel_gee_398

      Yep, just started showing up.

  • puredog

    I can’t decide if Zach is accusing you of being an “obscure trash site” or an “obscure trans site,” since I don’t think you could be accused of being an “obscure tras site” in any event. Needs moar study (or not).

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I’ll be in my bunk….

      • RC

        that makes two of us. Whew!

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Pace yourself!

        • snark-lurker

          the 2 of you? can i…? oh no, nevermind

    • Greyhame

      No True Scotsman would be wearing anything under that kilt.

      • Jamoche

        They aren’t :)

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        According to my friend the Scot, if someone asks if you’re wearing anything under your kilt, the correct response is “you’re mother’s lipstick”

      • Doug Langley

        “What’s worn under a kilt?”
        “Nothing – it all works fine.”

        I’ll just show myself out . . .

      • calliecallie

        Only a tangent, not OT, but my husband, who is quite proud of being a Scot, got a DNA test. Turns out he’s almost 20% Italian, with a smidge of Balkan thrown in! That was a surprise.

    • snark-lurker

      i am not gonna look at that

      • Doug Langley

        I regret to say it’s tastefully done.

      • Shanzgood

        Chicken

        • snark-lurker

          i stll aint lookin

      • calliecallie

        You definitely do want to look at it. Very fit Scotsmen.

  • Left-wing Fascist Ron

    Watching an old episode of The Outer Limits – ‘Controlled Experiment,’ with Barry Morse and Carroll O’Connor. Man, old TV programs are so cool.

  • Greyhame

    How dare they call me a misguided useful idiot? I’ve never been useful!

  • Holly

    So….I’m drinking sherry on this beautiful Sunday afternoon (thank you Paul). and now after reading the preceding idiocy from our friend Zach I REALLY need to drink more…lots more…….Thank you for listeninging to an inebriated old lady that drinks sherry.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      I hope you don’t spill any on your smoking jacket while relaxing in your study. ;-)

      • Holly

        I’m in my tea gown on the faintin’ couch while clutching my pearls in the boudoir. Smoking jackets are for the gentlemen in this room.

        • Blacktop Autumn

          I feel so unfancy when I drink the good stuff out of a jelly glass with cartoon characters on it now. ;-)

          • Holly

            A proper sherry glass is WAAAYYY to small…I drink my sherry out of a chalise.

          • BadKitty904

            It’s more a matter of how often you refill it.

          • notaten

            Now, you don’t need to be getting a repetitive stress injury from refilling too often. Bigger is better. Think of the future!

          • BadKitty904

            Then why not just switch to an IV?

          • Holly

            In frequent bursts and with gusto!

          • BadKitty904

            That’s the ticket!

          • BadKitty904

            We reserve those for bourbon.

          • calliecallie

            Pikachu!

    • BadKitty904

      My Granny belonged to the Rosalind Club, a band of little old ladies that drink sherry, play bridge, and have terrorized our municipal government for at least the past three generations.

      • Holly

        We are a formidable bunch of biddies