Is Kellyanne Conway off to Lawyer Jail for Alternative Ethics? PROBABLY!!! Is she a total embarrassment to her alma mater? DEFINITELY!!! Is Poor Kells persecuted by all the mean elitists inside the DC bubble? Let’s Lawsplore!!
Thursday, fifteen law professors filed a disciplinary complaint with the DC Bar against the President’s Special Assistant Deputy for Television Prevarication. The professors, who specialize in legal ethics, allege that Conway is a LiarLiarPantsOnFire and an embarrassing zit on the legal profession. They urge the DC Bar to pop that sucker forthwith and with all due haste.
The professors point out that “It is professional misconduct for a lawyer to [e]ngage in conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit, or misrepresentation,” and continually making shit up about the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre “calls into serious question … her fitness for the practice of law.'”
You see, lawyers employed by The Gubmint have an extra-special obligation to NOT BE LIARS:
Lawyers holding public office assume legal responsibilities beyond those of other citizens. A lawyer’s abuse of public office can suggest an inability to fulfill the professional role of lawyers.
The elitist law professors take issue with Conway’s repeated claims that Barack Obama was the Original Muslim Banner in Chief, but, “Most people don’t know that, because it didn’t get covered.” The sparse media coverage likely resulted from the fact that IT NEVER HAPPENED.
They further allege that going on Fox to yell at Nordstrom and hawk Ivanka’s tacky crap is is hella unethical, and “a clear violation of government ethics rules, about which a lawyer and member of the Bar should surely know.”
FUN FACT: The American Bar Association (ABA) mandated ethics courses in law schools after lawyers working in the Nixon White House brought shame upon the profession during the Watergate scandal. You’re next, Reince!
Conway’s membership in the DC bar is currently suspended because she failed to pay her bar dues, like a common lawyer who resides within the jurisdiction. The cost to maintain an inactive status membership is $163 annually. There is no word whether Ms. Conway instead devoted these funds to the Bowling Green Massacre Memorial Fund.
Speaking of people who hate Kellyanne Conway, Patricia McGuire, president of Conway’s alma mater Trinity College, dropped some serious shade on the ’89 grad in a February 12 blog post entitled On Lies and the Truths We Must Tell. McGuire wrote, “Ms. Conway has been part of a team that thinks nothing of shaping and spreading a skein of lies as a means to secure power.” The University President further drew Conway’s attention to the school’s honor code, which says, “We must not look away from lies, that we must confront them and tell the truth as a matter of justice for the community.” YOU ARE BAD, KELLYANNE, AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!!!
Reached for comment, Conway complained that she had given $50,000 to the school in the past. “My money was good.”
HOW EVEN CAN THEY CRITICIZE HER? DID SHE NOT PAY THEM TO PRAISE HER FOREVER? This clearly violates the Ethical Rubber Stamp Clause in the Alternative Honor Code.
You tell, ’em, Kells! Take a principled stand. Give back that JD! Throw away that fancy pants Bachelorette Diploma! Go back to high school like a Real American, so you can sit at the mean girls table and shit talk all day long. It’s what you were doing anyway, right?
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