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Good Morning, Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today!

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  • Nounverb911
    • dslindc

      This cat does a lot of staring in the morning!

      • Crystalclear12

        Because of all the drinking at night?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Mah spirit animal.

  • Nounverb911
    • anwisok

      Go home, Babby Efalunk: you’re drunk!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Why the hell would you let a con-artist like Farage speak at your conference? Oh never mind I already know the answer.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Farage has left his German-born wife and is now sharing his house with a French woman politician who heads a think tank at the centre of an investigation into the alleged illegal funding of Ukip, For a man who was wanting to keep immigrants out of Britain, he’s not doing a very good job.

      • Amy!

        Think of it as putting a little bit (a very little bit!) of Britain into some immigrants.

        ewwwwwwwwwww

  • Oblios_Cap

    Michigan may continue its trend of letting horrible and unqualified idiots into public office as Ted Nugent and Kid Rock are floating the idea of running for a U.S. Senate seat. Seriously…

    Now that’s funny!

    • SpideySenser

      Nugent is not even supposed to still be alive, according to his very own self.

      • Shucky Ducky

        He needs to work harder on achieving his personal goals.

  • dslindc

    CPAC!

    This means that you shouldn’t open Grindr anywhere near National Harbor or your phone will probably melt down.

  • Nounverb911

    Kellyanne is getting CPAC off to a rousing start.
    https://twitter.com/AliABCNews/status/834770532675493888

  • Oblios_Cap

    The House GOP will try to kill a “resolution of inquiry” from Democrats that could force Trump’s tax returns

    More proof that Republicans really don’t care about America.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    This is no fair. I didn’t choose the political thriller genre for the book I wanted to live in.

  • memzilla Ω
    • wide_stance_hubby

      And he ain’t bringin’ no votes, neither.

    • lololol

    • schmannity

      Would prefer lightning bolt to crotch.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        You’d have to ask Jupiter or Thor to get that done.

  • Nounverb911
    • Michael R

      She did , and I doubt she will ever realize it .

  • Lizzietish81

    When does Rosie O’Donnell do her performance piece as President Bannon?

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      Really, lots of good material going to waste.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Yeah but Depends J Trump choose Bannon because of his uncanny resemblance to Rosie. There’s some weird psychological shit going on inside that orange melon.

  • goonemeritus

    CPAC’s first order of business will be to lock the doors and issue baseball bats and machetes to alt-right members so the can hunt down the last remaining Rockefeller Republicans.

    • Nounverb911

      Just send in Megan Marshack to take them out.

      • goonemeritus

        To Soon!

    • BadKitty904

      I’d think their first order of business will be to check and recheck for hidden microphones and recorders.

      • shivaskeeper

        After they check for guns. They don’t want their unhinged base running around armed when they might get hurt.

        • Thaumaturgist

          Puhleeze. The answer to a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. (There are going to be waiters and bartenders and cleaners up of poop such. They’re good guys.)

        • BadKitty904

          But…but…but 2ND AMENDMENT!!1!

          • shivaskeeper

            IK,R? They blamed the venue last year, I’m sure they’ll do the same this year.

    • QueerPunk

      I thought the first order of business was to create an ad on the M4M-pages on Craigslist.

  • Nounverb911

    Zombie Norman Rockwell has revised his Thanksgiving dinner painting.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2a92ac74d9faed11b445939acf21872966ecae2e6916117c8e47acabb760d55d.jpg

    • schmannity

      AACK. There’s and orange orangutan hair in my turkey!

    • therblig

      that sure puts the turd in turducken

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        And the cheese in headcheese.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Ewwww….they’ve replaced the turkey with a shit sandwich.

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        Flip it over. Let’s see if it’s hairy on the inside!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Awwww rump roast again???”

  • schmannity

    Manafort, reached for comment, attempted to call bullshit on the allegations, but in a revealing slip, declared “I call borscht on these allegations.”

    • Lizzietish81

      “I can say right now, any videos of me being paddled by dominatrices in old Soviet Uniforms who put their cigars out on my butt are fake”

      • schmannity

        “Everybody knows ill fitting Soviet uniforms will never compare to SS basic black.”

  • Ryan Denniston

    Enjoy the extended Family Time KaC. God knows they love you better than we.

    • BadKitty904

      (“Hello? Is this Child Services?”)

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    If I lived in Michigan and either Kid Rock or Ted Nugent got elected to be my senator, I’d move to fucking North Dakota.

    • Nounverb911

      There’s a draft Sheriff dave movement going on….
      https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/834762195422547968

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        He’s from Wisconsin, right? The whole upper midwest is doomed.

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        He looks almost Custer-y on that design, not all black and scary. Accidental, I am sure as most of the Con’s know that Clarke is “one of the good ones”.

        • BadKitty904

          George Armstrong Custer would be a pretty good icon for the GOP, actually.

      • natoslug

        They’d be better off electing the bobblehead.

  • memzilla Ω
    • o’look Skwerl!

      Don’t forget occasionally shoveling snow in Minnesota!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Sadly, no coal mines in West Virginia.

    • No peaches rotting on the trees in Georgia this year!

      GOOD AMERICAN JOBS!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “House cleaning for Pudzer”….

    • Oblios_Cap

      Slaughterhouses in the Midwest. Good, clean fun!

    • schmannity

      Trump organization construction jobs!

      • Sandy Beaches

        Only if you are into doing asbestos abatement with your bare hands.

        • schmannity

          Minty fresh smell!

    • arglebargle

      Bathroom Supervisory Engineer

      • o’look Skwerl!

        They could keep the transgenders out of the girls bathrooms by checking their parts.

        • arglebargle

          prezactly

  • o’look Skwerl!

    She’s been busy being a mom, and she doesn’t have to explain herself for being a mom if everyone is just jealous.

    Poor thing, she’s just like those other moms who can’t call in to work without getting fired.

    • Rick Hill

      Or be able to fire someone because it just feels good, when you are otherwise having a crappy day…

  • Michigan may continue its trend of letting horrible and unqualified idiots into public office as Ted Nugent and Kid Rock are floating the idea of running for a U.S. Senate seat.

    Sure. Why not at this point?

    Well, I’m off to stock up on Brawndo. It’s got what plants crave.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Meanwhile here in the Netherlands three weeks before our elections one of the populist party’s main unique seling point (retirement age back to 65) has been proven by scholars that it’s not only impossible to achieve but will actually lower pensions resulting in the press ball busting the campaign leader this hard that the party has taken him off the campaign trail beacuse poll numbers plummet right now. So satisfying to watch them jump through burning hoops to save whatever is left.

    • SmokinGood

      A couple questions:
      First, how did you get your journalists to understand math?
      Second, how did you get voters to believe that math is real?
      Third, how did you get anyone at all to care that obviously lying liars were lying?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Free education untill 18 and university tuition fee not more than about 2K per year helps.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Terrific read by Clancy Martin. Spot on!

    [The Art of Don’s Con
    What Trump shares with America’s best swindlers.
    BY CLANCY MARTIN
    February 23, 2017

    The most dangerous thing about Trump’s rise to the presidency is that the extraordinary web of lies he weaves will continue to be seen as its own kind of American success, impressive for those who can no longer distinguish the forest from the trees, the foyer from the marble. President Trump will be encouraged by a population that voted for him, often against their best interests, because economic mobility has always been a hustle—to leapfrog over seemingly impossible social obstacles requires a certain amount of luck, cleverness, and a cavalier willingness to lie. As inequality widens, so does admiration for the swindler, while playing the system has become synonymous with achieving the American dream.]

    https://newrepublic.com/article/140273/art-con-donald-trump-swindler

  • Nounverb911
    • schmannity

      wow

    • Oblios_Cap

      He really didn’t contribute much…

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Perhaps not, but I confess to having that old superstition of not speaking ill of the (recently) dead, unless they’re a real villain. I don’t think Colmes was quite that.

    • dshwa

      Being Hannity’s punching bag really does take years off your life.

      • ariel_gee_398

        And the life out of your years.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Some FOX virus finally got him! Only a matter of time, living around or anywhere near that FOX cesspool.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      The Russians got to him, too.

    • arglebargle

      Must have pissed off Hillary.

    • rocktonsam

      OREALLY’S NEW BOOK….KILLING… TOO SOON
      THANKS ALAN PEACE TO YOU!

  • BadKitty904
  • Warned_and_Persistent

    KAC’s kids sigh relief and say at least she’s not home schooling us.

  • orygoon

    Susan Collins? I just filed in court & gonna change my name to Hopeless.

    • Finnabar87

      Collins: too little, too late.

      Resign and let a proper Mainer – smart, independent, grumpy as fuck – represent the state o’ Maine.

  • LarryHoudini

    Internal CPAC memo: Milo’s anti-semitism was fine but he crossed the line with pedophilia. Next year we need someone to outrage the left who edges right up to that line but doesn’t cross it. Advocates of cannibalism, father/son incest, animal sacrifice? Get input from Bannon.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Father/son cannibalism, animal incest, sacrificing advocates?

      • LarryHoudini

        I like it–it’s fresh.

  • ImPEECH!

    The wiki on Viktor Yanukovych details his various crimes leading him to exile:

    “On 12 January 2015, Viktor Yanukovych was listed by Interpol as “wanted by the judicial authorities of Ukraine for prosecution / to serve a sentence” on charges of “misappropriation, embezzlement or conversion of property by malversation…”

    “Malversation” is a word? The things you learn on teh interwebz…

    • Oblios_Cap

      A new word!

      • PubOption

        It sounds like it should mean ‘writing bad poetry’.

        • Querolous

          Male+conversation=malversation=mansplaining?

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Corrupt behavior in a position of trust, especially in public office.”
      I have a feeling that will be a very handy word over the next four years.

      • Thaumaturgist

        It’s not malversation if the president does it.

    • Longstreet63

      It’s getting so you can’t have a simple malversation with you…

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      ‘Malversion’ instantly makes me think of Windows 8, the mal-est version of Windows to date.

  • BadKitty904

    OK, so I’ve been pondering on this lately.

    Dictatorships are weirdly sensitive to the public opinion they continually outrage. They always have to be in the right, to be morally immaculate. This is why such tyrants must slander and persecute those they have most harmed – to make opponents of the regime appear to be the “bad guys,” thereby justifying the regime’s own treachery.

    Does that make sense to y’all?

    • dshwa

      From a psychological standpoint, yes.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      And let’s not forget that unconstitutional claims by a fascist party is not the problem but the appeal to the disenfranchised. Burn it all? Yes please. That’s how fascism has always worked form a historical point of view.

    • Longstreet63

      Yes, the people must have enemies to justify the Leader’s actions as defending them.
      Otherwise, he becomes the enemy.

    • Sandy Beaches

      Mix that in with scapegoating innocent people and your recipe is complete!

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    Crowds of CPAC attendees arrive at the convention door, hungry for the promise of alternative facts. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f3ad85ec040b73f1069e6f3dc44ff27859ff54ddf763f6d0172b0642a7fba586.jpg

    • Rick Hill

      Seems like way too many of those folks were ready to begin a conversation about initiating young boys into gay sex

      • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

        Chants of “Let Milo Speak!” were heard as the crowd became restless and annoyed at the perceived censorship of the popular young nazi.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Only a few ticket left. The CONs and GOPeeps are falling over themselves to gettum’!

      https://m.popkey.co/9e06c4/wjmkA.gif

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    fuzzy math bullshit shenanigans

    That’s known as “Accounting 101” at Trump University.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Stop being such a sexism to Smellyanne.

  • Panika MCD

    meanwhile in the TX Pink Dome:

    it’s going to be pushing 90 degrees today…in February. but Global Climate Change is just a theory.

    in the Senate Education Committee, we’ll be talking about teachers having sex with children and something the chairman wants to call “”P-TECH” even though the “P” stands for “Pathways” which is a much better name and likely to be the one adopted.

    http://tlcsenate.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=5&event_id=2192

    • Longstreet63

      But it still snows!
      “Can I just do it till I need glasses?” Has grown up into “Can we just do it until it doesn’t snow in Minnesota any more?”

      • Panika MCD

        how about Glacier National Park pretty much has no glaciers anymore so we’ll call it a draw and address the issue?

        • Longstreet63

          And open it up for mining and logging of course. We can rename it “Peabody National Slag Reservior”.

  • dshwa

    Yes, because us liberals were so adverse to women in power we nominated a woman who was the most qualified candidate in history.

    • Oblios_Cap

      she t’was.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The Purpose of the State Department is to tell Donald how great he is.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      The Purpose of all Departments is to tell Donald how great he is

      IFYPFY

  • Thaumaturgist

    First of all, Ted Nugent and Kod Rock are going to run against each other in the Republican senatorial primary. Second of all, Betsy DeVos is what passes for a “moderate Republican” in today’s Michigan.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      ‘Tis the state in which I was born & raised. I have mixed feelings about it.

      • Bill Slider

        What, about being born and raised?

    • natoslug

      There’s something fishy about the Kod Rock.

  • Thaumaturgist

    Yep, the trans can join the grizzlies.

  • cmd resistor

    I swear I read something yesterday about the parties having filed a joint status report in the State of Washington v. Trump district court case and how the DOJ claimed that they planned to do the new EO sometime next week but didn’t have a firm date. But now I can’t find it. Judge was supposedly going on with the briefing schedule.

    • Bill D. Burger

      There was this yesterday:

      Oregon is joining a major lawsuit filed by Washington state against Trump’s immigration ban
      Associated Press
      Andrew Selsky, Associated Press
      6h 20

      SALEM, Ore. (AP) — Oregon asked a federal court late Wednesday to join a lawsuit filed by Washington state against an immigration ban imposed by President Donald Trump.

      Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum said in the motion that Oregon also needs protection from the ban on immigrants from seven predominantly Muslim countries, which she said would harm Oregon’s businesses, residents, universities, health care and economy.

      The lawsuit filed by Washington Attorney General Bob Ferguson on Jan. 30 resulted in a judge suspending Trump’s temporary ban. Minnesota previously joined the lawsuit.

      http://uk.businessinsider.com/ap-oregon-joins-suit-against-president-trumps-travel-ban-2017-2?r=US&IR=T

      • puredog

        That Ellen. Sometimes a bit slow on the uptake, but she usually gets there.

      • cmd resistor

        I swear it was something about the government saying they were going to file something new but being vague so the judge said the case was going to proceed. He may have extended the briefing schedule but I’m not sure. But I can’t find it, so maybe I hallucinated it.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I wish i had something witty to say about Trump overturning the protections on transgender people but I dont.

    Fuck you trump, fuck you Pence and the whole republican party. Go fuck yourselves. You are all assholes and deserves a beatiing upside the head (with votes)

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s just so unnecessary. It’s bald malevolence.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I have several friends who are transgender so this angries me a lot. Its nothing but a big screw you to my friends. Its a bully enabling other bullies

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          One of my oldest friends is trans, just moved to Texas for a job. I told her she needs to run for office.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Whether electorally, karmically, or in the hereafter, I hope there is a just punishment for people who choose to use their political authority to harm the most vulnerable segments of our communities.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        After being given the mysterious CIA brain cancer, both William Casey and Lee Atwater expressed regrets for their shitty behavior. Too little, too late.

    • Bill D. Burger

      So typically Republican. Pick on the those least able to fight back. With all we face, lil’ Jeffy Sessions and Turnip pick that as one of their very first priorities.

    • Shanzgood

      The law didn’t change, did it? I thought all they did was rescind the Bamz Administration guidelines. Which are not actually enforceable IIRC.

      YES THEY ARE STILL ASSHOLES

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Help Us Susan Collins, You’re Our Only Hope!

    Uh oh, fucked again!

  • Me not sure

    No children should have to wake up to the prospect of having Kellyanne preparing them breakfast and sending them off to school.

    • nightmoth

      I suspect Consuela does all that while Sillyanne sleeps in.

      • Me not sure

        I suspect Consuela is exempt from being picked up by ICE.

  • Michael Smith

    “according to Stephen Miller, the angry little racist writing the “policy,” it needs to “pass legal muster.””

    Actually, he said he needed someone to “pass the illegal mustard.” That’s drugs.

    • Longstreet63

      Yes, being legal is kind of a prerequisite for an executive order. Otherwise it’s just expensive porn for people with lawyer fetishes.

  • Shanzgood

    Wait, did I really read on here last night that Dolt 45 tried to ORDER someone to make it so that the GDP rose by 4%? Or was I just having another sweaty cheese-induced nightmare?

    • ariel_gee_398
      • Shanzgood

        Jesus HMS Christ

        • ariel_gee_398

          They are just so bad at economics. Someone who took a single marcoeconomics course 15 years ago would probably be safer hands.

          • cmd resistor

            I once got the highest F in the class on an economics exam in college, maybe 40 years ago, and I might be better.

    • Bill D. Burger

      He made that promise a number of times during the campaign. It’s virtually impossible, and only in his fevered alternative fact brain could it be achieved.

      Trump is officially making an economic promise that will be nearly impossible to keep

      Bob Bryan

      Jan. 22, 2017, 2:25 PM

      http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-4-gdp-growth-promise-2017-1

      • Shanzgood

        25 million new jobs, too. I can’t wait.

      • PubOption

        After ‘Alternative Facts’ comes ‘Alternative Economics’.

    • Longstreet63

      Well, there’s always inflation!

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Yeah, just wait until the so-called Fed does its independent thing and raises interest rates. Enemy of the People II

        • Longstreet63

          No, you see, if you increase inflation 4 percent, the dollar value of the GDP appears to increase.
          Promise kept! It also has the side effect of increasing returns for investment capital. On paper.

    • Rick Hill

      He has the best brain coming up with the best ideas

    • puredog

      Don’t eat chocolate ice cream before you retire.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I think you did see it. It’s Gouda you to remember.

      • Shanzgood

        Your puns make me bleu.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Cialis for daily use. That’ll get it up.

      • Shanzgood

        Wot?

        • Thaumaturgist

          Cialis. You rise from the dead. Can it work for the GDP? Just askin.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh! I thought you were saying I shouldn’t have taken it.

          • fishslappingdancer

            Cialis. Nausea plus massive headache next day so my friend tells me.

          • Thaumaturgist

            Nausea. Migraine. It’s the Trump economy. What did you expect?

          • Shanzgood

            The one who took it or the one who had to deal with its effects?

          • fishslappingdancer

            Good one. I was told it was a painkiller. Its supposed effects didn’t work, just had a day in bed sleeping/puking.

          • Shanzgood

            Yikes! I’m sorry!

          • fishslappingdancer

            Me too, it would have been a good practical joke if it hadn’t taken a day out of my life.

          • Shanzgood

            That scares me because it sounds like a practical joke baconz would do.

          • fishslappingdancer

            Does it work for women? I have 3 spare if you’re into science. And also halfway around the world if it messes you up as it did me.

          • Shanzgood

            Um, no thanks. Nuru gel works just fine and has no adverse side effects.

          • fishslappingdancer

            Lol had to google that. Sounds like fun!!

          • Doug Langley

            Sigh. I just saw a Kolchak rerun where a zombie ran around killing mobsters. Cialis has nothing to do with it. It’s all chicken blood and corn kennels. Kids these days.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Sweaty cheese? Well, there’s your problem right there.

      Lay off the Rainbow’s Gold!

      https://www.bustle.com/articles/63263-i-tried-the-5-smelliest-cheeses-in-the-world-and-heres-how-they-tasted

      • Shanzgood

        Gah!

      • Doug Langley

        Well so long, breakfast, it was nice knowing you.

    • David Chaillou

      Cheese does not induce nightmares. That’s a slanderous accusation invented by the British to denigrate the French.

      • Shanzgood

        It can if you’re lactose intolerant like me.

        • fishslappingdancer

          That’s not good:( Cheese, bacon and beer are what make life worth living for me. And music. And cats. And pics of galaxies. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb1b7299d7108a3c4e2635f40fbce8633e618754529a5af765c528e9a8484f47.jpg

          • Doug Langley

            Fun fact: they’ve found clouds of alcohol in space:

            http://mentalfloss.com/article/51271/there-are-giant-clouds-alcohol-floating-space

          • fishslappingdancer

            Yup, alcohol is one of space’s main ingredients.

          • Shanzgood

            I make up for it with bacon.

          • fishslappingdancer

            The Cialis or the lactose intolerance?

          • Shanzgood

            Ha! I can have a few cheeses. I was making a dumb joke about baconzgood. He is not allowed anything even remotely like Cialis. Ever.

          • fishslappingdancer

            So said my wife before she left me, I’m sure she tried the bromide a few times :)

          • Shanzgood

            Damn, I’m sorry!

          • fishslappingdancer

            13 blissful years of agreeing she didn’t want children then a year of getting more and more broody. I loathe biological clocks.

          • Red Bird Ω

            Maybe I’m late to the party but are you and baconzgood an item???

          • fishslappingdancer

            They is, pics to follow I’m told.

          • Shanzgood

            Yes. He wore me down until I finally caved in and promised not to mace him.

          • Red Bird Ω

            Nice. The Wonkette matchmaker service!

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            The lack of mace can be quite convivial, indeed.

        • David Chaillou

          That’s a damn shame.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Hey now. Stilton. English Cheddar. Caerphilly. Red Leicester. Cotswold. Not all British.

      • Querolous

        Limburger does and you don’t even need to eat it.

        • David Chaillou

          That’s like Maroilles isn’t it? A feast for the nose and palate.

          • Querolous

            More like Époisses de Bourgogne. If you can get past the stink it is supposed to be tasty, or so I am told. I have never been able to do so.

          • David Chaillou

            WEAK! SAD!

    • suziq

      So it isn’t menopause hot flashes, it was just because of CHEESE??!?!?!??
      I love cheese, but it can kind of clog the pipes if you know what I mean.

      • DahBoner

        I’m, a-fraid we’re fresh out of menopause cheese, sir.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          How about cedar cheese? We can’t possibly be out of that!!

    • snark-lurker

      I heard that too, just one time, can’t remember where, not another peep till you an hour ago, so…

  • eyelashviper

    Just heard that Alan Colmes has died. He was a decent man, and how he ever managed to stay calm and sane while being on Fox News is a testament to his grit.
    His website alan.com, has been a good source of news, and has had a following of sensible and often funny commenters.
    RIP, Alan, you will be missed.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’m a little ambivalent on the role he played on Fox News – that of token liberal/punching bag – but I certainly never had any reason to suspect he didn’t mean what he was saying. And he seemed nice enough, at any rate.

      I guess we’re down to Shep Smith as the only sane person on Fox News?

      • eyelashviper

        His site was unabashedly liberal and to the left, and the regulars there were all pretty bright, committed to good causes, and often funny.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Interesting. Guess I wasn’t following him as close as I shoulda been. Anyway, yeah, RIP Alan.

    • DahBoner

      Interesting…

      Do you know who else died recently after a “brief illness”?
      http://www.rferl.org/a/kremlin-critic-russia-kara-murza-hospitalized/28274832.html

  • OddMan

    But what about Bear-gazi, the great Bear-gate mail slot scandal that Rep. Jason Chaffetz, a Utah Republican and head of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee says is “very serious”.

    My God people there was an empty mail slot ready for Bears Ears National Monument, when did Bryce Canyon learn about Bears Ears and .. .. .. what the fuck?

    Chaffetz probes Bryce Canyon tweet welcoming Bears Ears
    http://www.sltrib.com/home/4967844-155/chaffetz-probes-bryce-canyon-tweet-welcoming

    • PubOption

      Trump should approve of Gold Butte.

      • snark-lurker

        ha!

  • Bill Slider

    Secretary of State, you don’t say. That must be a woman’s job, since 3 of the last 4 have been womens (sic). Hell, 2 of the last 5 have been blah. I think their job is to fly all over the plant leaving all of those chem trails. They may also give away Powerball tickets to other world leaders, but I am not sure. One of them have a piano recital before the Queen, and also had a fantasy affair with the Pres. Another ran a child sex slave factory from the basement of a pizza parlor, allegedly. So, yeah, it’s an important job, worthy of being run by our Minister of Oil.

    • Tallmutha

      Of course it’s a woman’s job, why do you think they call it “Secretary”?

      • Yr. Gma

        “Secretary” comes from the same source word as “secret” and means, essentially, “keeper of the secrets.” That’s why the boss’s secretary always has the best gossip.

    • Amy!

      That’s such an obvious ‘shop. CPAC won’t have to fortify itself to defend against the zombie survivors of the destruction of America until 2018.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Here’s something I don’t understand. Don’t old text messages get deleted after a certain amount of time? So, ho w can people hack your phone and get your old texts? Asking for a friend.

    • Shanzgood

      Not if you set it to never delete them.

      • fishslappingdancer

        I is old. Have never sent a text. ‘Phones are for ordering tuk-tuks and calling mother at Christmas and birthday.

        • Shanzgood

          I is old also. I deliberately didn’t get another cell phone for many years after I had one for a job that chained me to my work all the time. Fast forward several years to getting a crappy flip phone to keep in touch with my kids…I had it for at least a year before I even realized I COULD text on it.

          • fishslappingdancer

            I resisted for years but then moved to parts of Asia where landlines don’t exist. Major shock to the system.

        • Skadi

          Text is a most excellent screening method, as far as I’m concerned. My phone is on silent and I never bothered to set up a voicemail account. If I don’t recognize the number, I don’t pick up (assuming I ever notice the call is coming in). Anyone I would care to communicate with knows to text me or email me. As such, I don’t have to deal with all kinds of nonsense.

          • fishslappingdancer

            Ditto this. Urgent messages come through email. Anything else gets ignored if I don’t know the number.(four people have it)

          • Shanzgood

            Same here. I hate talking on the phone. And people calling makes me feel like they’re demanding my immediate attention.

  • mimar

    Ooooohhhh…those baby animals!

  • fishslappingdancer
    • Shanzgood

      Good night!

  • Bill Slider

    Poor, poor, Kellyanne, there was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children (5) she didn’t know what to do.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    CPAC starts today, and the bloodthirsty, flesh-starved crowds are salivating to hear the grunts and shrieks from Trump, President Bannon, Nigel Farage, and a plethora of Fox News and RT wingnuts.

    Books and DVDs for sale out in the lobby.

  • Kellyanne Conway hasn’t been stuck in detention, or blacklisted from teevee shows for lying, those are alternative facts! She’s been busy being a mom, and she doesn’t have to explain herself for being a mom if everyone is just jealous. Did we mention she’s a mom?

    I so called it last night! Said countdown to spending more time with family in 3…2…
    WOOT. I am so good at this ^.^ *not really, they are just that predictable*

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    CPAC starts today. That explains the sulfur odor!

    • Nodrama4mama

      Does it also explain the uptick in the use of the Grindr app?

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