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Ivanka Trump, 2046

There are two things certain in life and they are death and LOLOLOLOL just kidding, taxes are for little people. Well, the Daily Mail claims to have documents showing that Ivanka Trump has accidentally and definitely not on purpose forgotten to pay some taxes on her jewelry line — you remember, the jewelry line she hawked during her Sixty Minutes appearance, because they are fukkin’ classy like that! Is it “true”? Well, it is the Daily Mail, which would make you think “no,” but since her stepmother Melania Trump is currently suing the Daily Mail for $150 million in lost “wages” for reporting on the existence of books that called her a hooker, we think they would do like at least a second of due diligence, like, show it to a lawyer and say “is this a lien from the state of New York, and does it say ‘Vanky Trump’ on it?” and if the lawyer says yes, they will post it. I mean, that’s how we would do it, if someone were suing us for $150 million, not that anyone ever has because we are perfect and good.

The New York State lien on Ivanka’s jewelry line for allegedly unpaid taxes is for only $5,000, which seems like too small a tax to not pay except by oversight, until you remember that her father never met a tax bill he would pay or a tradesman he wouldn’t cheat, and also remember Ivanka herself got sued (successfully!) for more than $2 million for not paying for her diamonds.

Wait, why haven’t we heard of this diamond lawsuit before, because it is amazing! Let’s peek!

Under the contract at issue, Madison [doing business as Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry] was required to make a series of payments to KGK totaling $3 million for jewelry delivered by KGK to Madison and subsequently sold under the Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry brand. Madison made the first agreed payment but refused to make all subsequent payments to KGK as required. Madison argued that it was relieved of its obligation to make the additional payments as KGK allegedly had been one day late in returning certain computer design (CAD) files as specified under the agreement.

Lol they are the fucking griftiest.

The Court has rejected Madison’s defenses to payment in their entirety[.]

Oh? Then what happened? Then Vanky said THESE DIAMONDS ARE NOOOO GOOD (not that she returned them and said BETTER DIAMONDS PLS):

Moreover, the Court rejected Madison’s request of further discovery and also belated attempt to amend its claims and defenses to payment by arguing that the jewelry provided by KGK was “of substandard quality”.

Then Ivanka Trump made an “emergency” motion to not have to pay for her diamonds, and the court was like NOPE NOPE NOPE AND NOPE, and she had to pay $2.3 million plus interest for being a shady lady.

Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the rotting bloated pig carcass of a cheap sociopath!

[DailyMail]

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  • Lance Thrustwell

    Like fadda, like daughta.

  • FlemmishSpy

    I thought Ivanka was daddy’s moral compass.

    • calliecallie

      Scary thought, that.

    • FlownOver

      I thought Ivanka was daddy’s moral compass.

      Easy to fix, at least.

  • Chadwells

    The entire family is nothing more than human trash. Jesus fucking christ….vile, disgusting waste of human flesh.

    • FlownOver

      Alleged human. The videos of unhinged jaws and swallowing of entire mammals are still being suppressed by the crooked media.

  • goonemeritus

    I guess this means Ivanka “is really smart”.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Paying taxes is for the poors!

  • onedollarjuana

    She has learned well on the lap of her master.

  • ImPEECH!

    Mrs. “She-went-to-Jared” sounds nice; but “Mrs. She-Went-To-Jail” sounds better.

    • msanthropesmr

      Contrary to popular belief, 1800 her love is not an escort srvice.

  • Chadwells

    And this is the pig faced shitgibbon twat who claims to fight for women in the work place and fights for all the Jewish. GTFOH.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Lock Her Up!

  • freakishlypersistent

    Jesus, the whole bunch of them is vulgar, grifty and rotten to their rotten cores. Ugh.

    • Wild Cat

      And that’s just their genitalia!

      • Oblios_Cap

        They’re like the Duggars without all the kids.

        • Alternative Pony Ron

          For which we should all be thankful.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Tiffany is like the Marilyn Munster of the family.

  • Wild Cat

    Helmsley. Dog.
    Dog. Helmsley.
    The dog shared his bones with other doggies.
    Helmsley buried them under her husband’s crypt.
    And all of NYC’s homeless
    Slept soundly through the night
    on the subway
    Dreaming of bones . . .

  • ImPEECH!

    Kushner’s note on the bouquet of roses Ivanka received on Valentine’s:

    “My darling,

    I married you for your wealth,
    I’m staying with you for your stealth.

    Always,
    J.”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Didn’t pay for her diamonds? Aren’t the armless child miners payment enough? Nothing’s good enough for you people!

  • BoziSpicer

    It’s all part of the tRump DNA. Barron is probably already cheating his classmates.

    • Fartknocker

      And practicing shooting his 1/3 scale stuffed lion with his Remington 460 nerf gun because nothing delights a 16 year old like shooting a real lion on a Africa safari.

  • msanthropesmr

    And we elected this family. For shame.

    • BoziSpicer

      Not “We”. They did.

      • freakishlypersistent

        Word. I take NO responsibility for that shit. NONE.

      • OneYieldRegular

        “We.” Because like it or not, we’re all responsible – if not for voting for him (as if!), then for incrementally allowing the development of the conditions that lead to his election.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I sure as fuck didn’t.

    • Zyxomma

      No, we voted for Hillary the way we were supposed to. Put the blame where it belongs.

  • Shibusa
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Why am I suddenly hungry for a burrito?

      • calliecallie

        Wishing there were taco trucks on every corner?

    • BoziSpicer

      “please squeeze my ass like Daddy does.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        Somewhere, in the dark recesses of the innertoobz, you just know that there is fan-fic about this.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Have we noted her husband’s hand on her ass? She really did marry her father….

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I’ll give them a pass on that. They probably weren’t thinking about the mirror behind them, and {cough} I happen to know at least one woman who doesn’t mind her husband’s hand on her ass, discreetly.

        • Oblios_Cap

          You know Ms. Oblio? Unpossible!

    • PubOption

      She’s foiled the tax collector again.

    • Lara

      Well, she was wrong. Looks like a wrinkled oven bag.

    • FlownOver

      No doubt there’s a matching hat.

    • Zyxomma

      When did Jiffy Pop Chic come in? I must’ve missed it.

    • Querolous
    • Celtic_Gnome

      I take it he didn’t know he was standing in front of a mirror?

  • Groundloop

    People people people! I implore you. Please stop implying that Ivanka is a grifty piece of shit, just like Dear old Dad. Really, who among us has never decided to not pay a vendor or contractor over $2 million for services rendered?

    Oh.

    Carry on.

  • msanthropesmr

    Can you imagine the fucking conniption fit on the right if you replace Ivanka with Chelsea?

    • Mavenmaven

      They aren’t anywhere in the same league as far as decency goes.

    • BearGHAZI

      More than a conniption. I believe their response would be “fucked-to-death incontinence meltdown”

  • The Librarian

    Diamonds aren’t Ivanka’s best friend.

  • Shibusa
  • Treg Brown

    UNPOSSIBLE! Ivanka is the “reasonable” one who’ll save us all.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Keep believing that.

      • Treg Brown

        Trust me. I don’t.

        • BadKitty904

          I trust you. And I don’t, either.

    • Lara

      Yeah, and she’s going to do good stuff for women! My tea-party relative say so! The best person to do “stuff” for women is a woman who’s groped daily by her dad and seems to have no problem with it…

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      The only ‘reasonable’ one left is Barron. With luck he’ll be the one who DOESN’T grow up to be Just Like ‘Dad.’

      • PubOption

        I’m not sure about Tiffany, she (and her mother) have only been reported as cheating a hairdresser.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Anna Rompage

      So Bill is taking credit for Larry Wilmore’s response… What a fuck nut…

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, Wilmore fuckin shut Milo the fuck down.
        5 bucks cash monies says Milo cried and cried later.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I usually like Bill, but yeah, that’s some Trump-style unearned credit-taking.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Granted, it IS his show, and he did invite Milo, but Wilmore was the major player in that takedown.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          ’tweren’t Wilmore’s words what done him in, ’twere his teen-blowing tolerations.

          Btw, based on Milo’s recent experience, I have created a new word for the world to enjoy – Hebephilophobia!

          • MynameisBlarney

            I think even if Milo hadn’t gone all Pedo-Bear, Wilmore’s verbal ass-kicking would have started the process. The kiddy-diddlin comments for damn sure hastened it.

  • Me not sure

    If her clothing business keeps tanking she’ll soon be able to apply for an earned income tax credit.

  • freakishlypersistent

    And that Slovenian trophy wife “just adores a penthouse view”. At the tax payers expense.

  • Duggle Bogey

    Why pay for stuff when if you get sued, all you have to do is….pay for the stuff plus interest? Without a real penalty for….being a crook….they will just continue the grift, especially now that they have the white house.

    • Lara

      Right, and there’s a chance you won’t get sued and you’ll get away with it completely! Win/Win!

  • shivaskeeper

    The ‘Trix is right in that the 5K was probably an oversight. But it does give a good reason to look deeper. I don’t know how anyone in this family though being in the big spotlight was going to be a good thing.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Where your analysis fails, IMO, is where you try to use the word “thought” to analyze what they do with the empty hat-holders on their necks. They just saw a world of grift on an almost-unimaginable scale opening up before them, and all but the most rudimentary systems shut down in the orgiastic rush of blood to their greedy bits.

      • shivaskeeper

        That’s what I get for assuming facts not in evidence.

  • Mavenmaven

    “Jared, your people know how to handle these things, right?”

  • memzilla Ω

    …arguing that the jewelry provided by KGK was “of substandard quality”…

    Hmmm… perhaps we could use this “substandard quality” argument to get ourselves a DIFFERENT FUCKING PRESIDENT THAN THIS BLADDER OF FAIL WE HAVE NOW.

  • BoziSpicer

    So, like a kid who just remembered he had a report to read to the class that morning, Donnie realized it was almost March and he was going to miss Black History month. Then he has to ask his black “friend” Ben to help him.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Well, she did learn about businessing form her would-be boyfriend idiot father…

  • Jeffocaster in the desert
    • Chadwells

      Debatable!! LOL!

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Fake news……….

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Alternate facts………….

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        …says anyone who has stepped barefoot into cold cat puke in the middle of the night.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert
    • ImPEECH!

      I’m not blaming that wench in the photo above’s megalomania on her little dog, either. Leona Helmsley is such a symbol of denigration and contempt for the underprivileged I hope her personal hell now is having to look at that ugly face she self-endowed herself with in a mirror for eternity.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Whore diamonds are cheaper, but every bit as klassy. You’d think that being married to a guy named “Jared” would give her access to that kind of information.

  • ViveLaPersistence

    May be an oversight, but scammers like the Trumps routinely “forget” to pay for things and just see if they get caught. If they get by with it even 10% of the time, it’s a lot of money. When it’s taxes, it’s money the rest of us have to make up for.

    • Lara

      I agree. I’m sure Trump also “forgets” to pay hoping that people will be afraid to approach him for payment, being as he’s so “rich” and “powerful” and so quick to sue.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        And because it takes so long, and people can’t afford the legal costs. The very thought of having to pay all the costs for both sides if you lose would make many people give up before they even start.

  • arglebargle

    So his voters approve of running the government like he and the fruit of his loins run their businesses, right? I think this may occasionally be an issue. Maybe.

  • Nockular cavity

    Christ, what a repulsive family.

  • Crystalclear12

    Hmmm. . .now I see the family resemblance.

    • Lara

      Speaking of which, it’s occurred to me that maybe the reason Trump doesn’t mind feeling up his “daughter” is that she’s not genetically his daughter. She doesn’t look at all like him.

      (Not that I’d put creepy incest past him, mind you…)

      • PubOption

        There don’t seem to be many photos of Ivanka as a teen, before she had work done.

      • PersianOregano

        I’d have to disagree with you there. In that infamous “children of the corn” picture with her brothers you can definitely see that all three have the same weak chin ugly mouth thing going on, their half-sibs have it too, just like dear daddy.

    • BadKitty904

      You can do more than “see” it if you’re downwind…

  • Anna Rompage

    KGK (based in India) sourced jewelry, because Make America Great Again….

    • BadKitty904

      Iwanka Trump – Putting the “Hip” in “Hypocrisy”

  • BadKitty904

    But…but…but this is Good News for Joe Middleclass, isn’t it? I mean, if the “President” doesn’t pay his taxes and his daughter/putative girlfriend doesn’t pay her taxes, then We the People don’t have to pay our taxes, either, right? RIGHT?!?1?

    • Lara

      I wish we could get, say, 10 million people or more to send in a paper tax form with “I don’t pay taxes because I’m smart” written across the form, and then not pay. That might get someone’s attention. (Overwhelm them with physical paper, AND no money!)

      If I do it alone, I just go to jail for tax evasion. If a few hundred do it, same deal. Millions? They can’t arrest us all!

      • Lance Thrustwell

        An ad hoc Tax Union! I love it. One full-page ad in the new York Times could do the trick – IF people had the balls to follow through!

      • BoziSpicer

        If I lived in a blue state or city, I would send my taxes to their tax collection agencies and ask them to hold it in escrow in case the Federal government tries to withhold funding which was promised.

        • Lara

          Hmm…. I live in a blue state…

        • PersianOregano

          This is exactly my tax rebellion fantasy! Sad that I now have a tax fantasy but if a yuuge percentage of us money bag blue staters left their billions in tax dollars sitting in state escrow accounts until we get some “cooperation” from those parasitic red-state legislators it would get their attention.

      • BadKitty904

        Without OUR tax dollars, the Russo-Republican Junta is powerless.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          That is silly. They will just have the Federal Reserve print more money.

          • BadKitty904

            Hey, if it worked in Weimar Germany….

            Oh, wait, it didn’t.

      • Creepoman

        Immigrants beg to differ (on the “can’t arrest us all” part).

        • Lara

          It’s disgusting, sickening, that what’s happening is happening, but I do challenge that they can’t arrest all 11 million illegal immigrants, either.

          However you do have a point, that too many are getting arrested, and far more than we thought would ever happen.

      • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

        Then it’s a movement! The donald trump Tax Day Massa-cree.

        • BadKitty904

          Including eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one is…

          • Roni Resistance Raven

            To be used as evidence against us.

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        I dunno. Have you heard how many they an to deport?

    • Crystalclear12

      No, silly, that means you pay more to make up the difference. We mustn’t burden our job creators!

    • OneYieldRegular

      They’re not “taxes” anymore. They’re “membership dues.”

    • rocktonsam

      its time to put all that shit she sells in a barrel and toss them in some bay somwhere

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Ivanka, can you show us on the diamond encrusted necklace where your daddy touched you?”

    • crisptickle

      Encrusted! Ew!

  • Alternative Pony Ron

    Is Donnie’s children learning?

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Genetically disposed.

  • Finnabar87

    Trump, Inc is a crime family and corrupt as fuck.

    That is all.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      So we can apply the RICO act.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Or the Chicago Typewriter.

  • Crank Tango

    The thing is, they don’t pay shit for taxes anyway. WTF Ivanka.

  • Shoto

    Shameless griftiness is shameless and grifty.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Look at how Lord Dampnut is already taking care of our military personnel!!! I hate him so bad it hurts. This is my biggest problem with his utter stupidity and myopic nature. He has ZERO ability to see the minutiae of policy making…..because he has the attention span of a fucking pine nut.

    “Trump’s federal hiring freeze forces two Army bases to close child care programs”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/320588-trumps-federal-hiring-freeze-forces-two-army-bases-to-close-child

    • snigsy

      Hey! I like pine nuts.

      • LucindathePook

        Can’t make pesto without ’em.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          I use pistachios or pumpkin seeds

          • LucindathePook

            Mmm, I love pistachios and have a big bowl by me right now. Good idea.

          • Zyxomma

            Walnuts also, too.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      PINE NUT LIBELZZZ11!!!111!!!

    • Crank Tango

      Run it like a business! Make it more efficient!
      Yay!!!

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Like Father, like Daughter. Not paying for anything is clearly the Trump family motto. That or “only the little people pay for stuff”

  • Blackest Noobs

    the family that grifts together also doesn’t pay taxes together

  • Alan

    Well I’m shocked.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    To seal the deal (Art of) Ivanka is divorcing Jared, marrying Putin and in return Trump gets first crack at the diamond hoard that is hidden in the Urals………..

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Jesus god is there ONE Drumpf who isn’t corrupt? Tiffany and Barron, the grift is coming from inside the house! Get out! Get out while you can!

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Repeat: Genetically predisposed.

    • Shoto

      “Jesus god is there ONE Drumpf who isn’t corrupt?”

      Wait: Is that a trick question?

  • thewalkindude

    KGK or KGB?…

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      KKK?

      • thewalkindude

        That, too, also

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      KaC?

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      KFC?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I like this CAD files idea. I have much information on many cads in my files.”
      — Vladimir Putin

  • Michael R
  • Latverian Diplomat

    If someone with Trump in the name wants to hire you, run in the other direction. You’ll be glad you did.

    • Lara

      That’s what gets me: people keep working for Trump. It’s not like these stories have been buried. I think it goes to human greed: every one of the people that does business with him (or Ivanka) thinks they stand to make lots of money, and they don’t heed the warning signs.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “You can’t cheat an honest man” – W.C. Fields

    • Brendan_M

      Those Russian pee hookers might not have been paid by Trump, but they probably got a huge bonus from the FSB. Plus, they now have free room and board, at whichever safe house they’re at, waiting for Trump to come through on sanctions.

      So it worked out for someone.

      • Lara

        Or they’re dead in the street like the other Russian diplomats and actors in the election hack that have mysteriously all had heart attacks or had their heads bashed in or been found dead in the backs of cars…

        Yeah, those hookers didn’t go to live on a nice farm in the country :(

  • chazmanr

    Typical Trump MO Create a contract with some buried arcane provisions that do not in any way effect the actual delivery of goods or services and then refuse to honor the entire contract on the basis that the other party failed to jump through a flaming hoop. Yet, the trumpsters will never hear of this and if they did, they’d claim it is a lie, the courts are rigged, etc.

    • Lara

      And then drag out a court case forever, until the other party has spent more in lawyers than they wind up getting, letting the next guy know that they’re better off just eating the original loss.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    I’m working on a theory that Trumpites don’t want a human for president. They want a made up God/Emperor, a political Wrestlemania figurine, surrounded by other non-human, kind of mythical creatures. Ivanka, as robotwhore, fits this mold, with her cruel, unreadable eyes and expressionless features. Of course, we saw this before throughout antiquity, but what does it say about us now?…

    • Shoto

      “Ivanka, as robotwhore”

      Blow-up doll libelz!!

    • BadKitty904
      • Warned_and_Persistent

        One of the mysteries of the universe that will keep poli sci and history educators employed for generations.

        • BadKitty904

          Assuming “educators” will exist in the “future”.

        • Logic of Color

          Hey, Remember how everybody loved Reagan at the end of his reign? Neither do I.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Having just deloused after a brief dip in the Yahoo comments (which are inexplicably allowed) I think the answer is chemtrails and meth. Lots and lots of meth.

    • Warned_and_Persistent
      • Wild Cat

        Proof that NYC-based Kapos need Viagra at a young age.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’m sure most of the people his daddy pays to make him look like a winner are equally unenthusiastic.

      • Grrrr…

        From “Nighttime Voicemails at the W H”:

        IVANKA : Hi Justin? We met recently at the White House. It’s … Ivanka. I just … I wanted to say hi. I was just thinking about pancakes, and then I was thinking about maple syrup, and then I was thinking about Canada, and then I was just like: I should call Justin! So … anyway. Hi. It’s Ivanka. Oh my god, I already said that. Would you ever, like, would you ever call me back and just speak to me in French a little bit? You could just say any French words. Like Hamburger. Can you just call me back and say “hamburger” very slowly? It’s for a friend. Oh sorry, I have to go — Jared is pretty upset about something that happened today at work. Call me back.

        http://nymag.com/thecut/2017/02/nighttime-voice-mails-from-the-white-house.html

  • proudgrampa
  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but your goddam invoices can rot in hell!”
    — Ivanka Trump, businesswoman

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    What we need to remember is that he trained her to do this. In the constant fight to win his approval she and Uday and Qusay have to grift, cheat, lie, discriminate, cause harm, wreck lives, and consume on a massive scale, because those are the things that get his attention. If they were good people doing good in the world he’d have four Tiffanies (not that I have any idea that she does anything good, just in the sense that he would ignore all of them as well).

    • BadKitty904

      That’s what happens when Republicans are allowed to raise children.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Is there a more grifty, shifty, rapaciously greedy, and utterly contemptible family anywhere (I’ll overlook Adi Amin and the Doc clan from Haiti)?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Not fair! Ivanka is only supposed to be written of in soft-focus what-a-remarkable-self-made-woman style articles. ‘Cause she’s the smart, classy, honest one.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Honest” in the “Incredibly lying beeyotch” sense of honest.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I wonder if her brand contains the “Liar, Liar, Panties on Fire” line.

  • Rick Hill

    I am so sick you you people! Haven’t you heard, no one CARES if the trumps lie cheat or steal!!! This election showed that no one on the right cares about your facts and morality. Trying to hold a conservative to any standard is a losing prospect…for YOU!!1! Get over it and get a new line of attack.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Rick, are you going for Poe here?

      • Rick Hill

        These are facts…alternatively presented. They actually are just starting to make this very argument. I, however, make this oh so funny because I am so handsome and whitty.

        • Rick Hill

          Also, charming.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Undeniable!

          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            *purr*

          • Rick Hill

            Sorry, I’ll tone it down.

          • kareemachan

            Nah, you don’t have to.

            ;-)

          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            *licks your cheek affectionately*

        • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

          So the decision of a court is an alternative fact? God help us.

          • Rick Hill

            A comment at some conservative site, they said just that, that conservatives are tired of trying to live up to the standard that liberals set for them, trump proves that honesty and morality don’t matter so don’t try to hold them accountable because it doesn’t work anymore.

          • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

            Well that’s refreshing. I hope they use that logic at their JesusIsSaviorEmporiumofReligiousSelfRighteousness places too.

          • Edith Prickly

            I hope they try that argument in a court of law someday. Seems inevitable.

          • Karen Marie

            Once Trump’s nominees are confirmed, courts of law will find in their favor.

      • Thaumaturgist

        FCS. The whole point of a Poe is that it’s so crazy you can’t tell if it’s serious or not. If you tell people it’s a Poe it isn’t a Poe.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Just when you think they can’t get any more disgusting, something like this comes along.

  • BoziSpicer

    So, Ivanka probably isn’t having breakfast at Tiffany’s.

    • Thiazin Red

      You know, I think I remember that film.

      • BoziSpicer

        Did we both kinda like it?

        • jqheywood

          Well, that’s the one thing we’ve got

    • Jukesgrrl

      I’m surprised Tiffany & Co. isn’t going out of business since the Secret Service has taken over 5th Avenue to protect Melanoma, Barron, and Der Gropenfuhrer’s golden property next door. The company admitted their overall sales went down 14% in December, which is usually one of their best months.

      • Grrrr…

        Ah, yes, the vigorously closeted Trump Effect …

  • rocktonsam

    can’t release tax info you guys, alternate facts are they are being audited. nothing to see here for at least 4 years.
    $arah weeps, no longer grafter queen

    • She was small time, now the pro’s have the stage.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Dear Wonkette. Thank you for reading the Daily Mail, so I don’t have to. The edited highlights are fine.

  • jesuswasablack

    “reporting on the existence of books that called her a hooker”
    Calling Melania a hooker, the nerve, why she just recited the lords prayer the other day!
    https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Kv8z9kwY4z0/WCddMBtKXyI/AAAAAAAABgk/XwHCzldpl-4V87i_Wv-uoeFTwCL6Z22jACLcB/s1600/Melania%2BTrump%2Bnackt%2Bboing%2B777.jpg

  • Don Gwinn

    Wait! I just remembered! I didn’t pay for them because they didn’t meet my quality standards! YEAH, THAT’S THE TICKET!
    (Ask your grandpa.)

  • Amelia

    You would think that, at some point, people doing business with Trumps would learn to say fuck no to payment plans.

    • Thorn Spike

      Or just say fuck no to doing business with them.

      • Amelia

        If people still agree to do business with him after the shit he’s pulled to this point, I don’t want to be alive to see the atrocities he would have to commit to stop them.

        • Bongstar420

          Abuse victims are a strange beast

      • BadKitty904

        THIS.

    • Bongstar420

      Why not buy stuff from them on a front and refuse to pay for violation of 1 line of the super fine print?

  • kindness

    How is it the Trump clan always seems to escape that late night meeting with Vito Corleone out on the wharf? Really, if just one of them had ‘disappeared’, the Trump clan’s frame of mind would be so much more civil.

    • Bob Fandrich

      Maybe Vito works for Donnie Stumpfingers.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Er, more like the other way around. Donnie is a “buffah”

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Why does this family think it’s above the law? The rest of us plebes making pennies an hour have to pay taxes or some nice men in IRS suits show up & garnish your wages. This is such bullshit! But, yeah…sure…look at how they’re “just like us” (us being his fans).

    • puredog

      As a friend’s rather well-to-do and probably mobbed-up father used to say, “It’s all negotiable.”

      • ahughes798

        I was on a road trip last Friday and we went to a friend of a friend’s “cottage.” Mind you, this cottage was around 2500 sq ft. This friend of a friend’s dick of a husband owns 30,000 “units” of property. Apt. buildings, land, land with houses, etc. Their car collection is amazing…they even had a car Freddy Mercury had owned. I got to sit in it! Hopefully some of that talent rubbed off on me a little, but I doubt it. Through various means of chicanery, dick of a husband pays income taxes on 20K of income a year. And he treats his wife like shit. The rich are very different from you and I.

        • Grrrr…

          We live in a country with unfettered access to guns … yet none of these shits worries about us scaling their “gated communities” because they know that progressives just won’t treat others as the “Screw you!”s treat others.

    • Bongstar420

      I get the feeling a lot of rich people like this, but more closeted.

      • Grrrr…

        Oh, they are. One of my oldest friends is a profoundly atypical Manhattan richie (she’s politically progressive, an artist from a family of artists and philanthropists, she lives relatively modestly), and I’ve heard about former classmates who, uh have different values. And even her distant connections are relatively human, bc she doesn’t hang out with the hardcore shits or even the lowkey shits.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    Isn’t she just so NICE and RELATABLE?!?!?!?!

    • suziq

      Yeah, she is the “normal” one!

  • Ducksworthy

    Sarah Palin just didn’t understand merchandising.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      She should have done a line of Tramp Stamp designs. I bet there is an appropriate name for the line, but it escapes me now.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Putting Leona’s picture on a story about how Ivanka did the same shit is genius-level trolling. Well played.

  • kareemachan

    Poor lil’ Wanky Trumpette.

  • Ducksworthy

    Clearly not one of the little people now.

  • SadDemInTex

    OT but I love this. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/a8962900/refugees-welcome-statue-of-liberty/?src=nl&mag=cos&list=nl_chg_news&date=020117

    “A spokesperson for the Park Service told The Associated Press that hanging anything on the statue is strictly prohibited, and that an investigation is already underway to figure out who was responsible”. I quote from Casablanca “Round up the usual suspects!” 😜

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Also: “Someone reminded us what the Statue of Liberty, and our country, stand for! ARREST THEM!”

    • mailman27

      We are TOTES on it! *yawn*

  • You know where she gets that from, of course.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1c6346002b358b111eb70dbbf5761c10d7ac6b7e360e9b72e6ac02e99aeb0890.jpg
    Grabbin that pussy since 2005

  • aureolaborealis

    “Paying taxes is for the little people.”

    • A good friend of the family worked at one of her hotels back in the day and hooooo boooooy, he has some stories to tell.

      • Aunt PithyPat

        Spill!!!!!

        • It’s been years, but I remember there was a story about her freaking out because she found a bar of the hotel soap in the employee break room–THE LITTLE PEOPLE ARE USING THE FANCY GUEST SOAPS!!!!–and apparently she used to call INS on maids that she found resting their feet in rooms they were supposed to be cleaning.

          There was also some INSANE manifesto she made all new hires sign, I forget the specifics but it was basically a list of all of her crazy nitpicks and pet peeves and do’s/don’t’s and it ended with the injunction “Most important of all, MAKE ME YOUR QUEEN”.

          And of course there’s the story that some of her employees somehow rigged up an alarm system that let them know whenever she’d left her house, so they could prepare in case she was coming to their specific hotel, but I believe that one is in the public record now, as it came up during her trial.

          TL; DR, bitch was cray. Apparently she HAAAAATED Trump, though. They had some famous Regean-era feud, I always imagine there was hair pulling and getting pushed into fountains, a la Dynasty.

          • Candi Spencer

            She sounds pretty spirited. I can’t imagine them getting along.

          • Dee Andee

            So that’s where they got “DuBraux alert!” from in that goofy movie about the orangutan in a fancy hotel “Dunstan Checks In.” Played wonderfully by Faye Dunaway. The DuBraux, not the orangutan. Trump played that part. He sucked. Mos Def was in it for 2 seconds though. He was good.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEHUUI7XiOo

          • Bongstar420

            Well, at least they will save christmas

    • BadKitty904

      It looks more like someone left a cake out in the rain.

    • Aunt PithyPat
      • TakingAmes

        I’ll be in my bunk…

        • Aunt PithyPat

          Hah! My sentiments exactly…

      • ahughes798

        I like their visual references much more better!

  • Jennifer R

    So Ivanka tried to steal 3 million dollars in diamonds and the court said no? I smell another judicial witch hunt.

    • fcoli

      Obviously, it was a “so-called” court.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    These Trumps are kinda clueless. Next up “Eric Takes A Dump And Forgets To Pull Up Pants”.

    • BadKitty904
      • Aunt PithyPat

        Wodehouse is just never not funny!

        • BadKitty904

          I think it was one of the Waughs who commented on how irritating it was to spend hours developing the perfect bon mot, only to find that Wodehouse had said it better and funnier in 1921…

    • puredog

      You have to concede that that would be less alarming than “Eric Takes a Dump and Forgets to Pull DOWN Pants.”

      • Jus_Wonderin

        So true!!!

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        Dog bites man…

  • OneYieldRegular

    One day late on some CAD schematics? What, did that put Madison behind the fierce competition for a seasonal “Happy Holidays” brooch spelled out in diamonds?

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    The mafia make their bones by killing people. The Trump family makes their bones by not paying taxes.

    • Bongstar420

      I suspect the Russian mafia is involved

  • myexisinthetrunk

    The absolute worst excuses for not paying. Pretty much like sticking your tongue out at the judge and going “Neener, Neener” and then “Make Me!” Did Ivanka consult with Sarah Palin on her tactics? Sounds like it to me.

  • Iam Reading

    Trumps are liars, thieves, and sexual assaulters. We should ban them.

    • zerosumgame0005

      well, yeah but he is all bout the little peeplees! or is that the little peepees?

      • Dee Andee

        I thought you said peepholes for a sec there, and I imagined Trump as Judge Turpin, spying on Ivanka through a peephole in Trump Tower because of course he’d do that.

        • xbutter

          Ivanka,Ivanka
          So suddenly a woman
          The light behind your window
          It penetrates your gown

  • TundraGrifter

    Just for the record – Leona Helmsley was railroaded. She went to prison because she had the reputation for being a bitch – not for breaking the law. She actually paid more in taxes than she had to. But the IRS loves to find a famous “tax fraud” each year around April 15th to try to convince folks they treat rich and poor just the same.

    Of course they do!

    The “little people pay taxes” line came from a disgruntled employee. Just one person’s word against hers. But Ms. Helmsley had the reputation of being a rough and tough business woman so she had to be sent to the Big House as an object lesson.

    • natoslug

      There are several object lessons that the IRS should choose from for 2017, and they’re all Trump cards.

    • H0mer0

      that was no way to treat the good Liberace’s doppelganger!
      (also too, aren’t we seeing a pattern with women getting sent to prison for being bitches and men raiding the treasury and walking away scot free? [And I just googled it: the term “scot-free” is not pejorative based on the Scots’ penchant for thriftiness. It was mutated from a Scandinavian term for moula.])

      • TundraGrifter

        I’m not going to get into the whole “Scot free” thing. Or “Free Scot.” Let’s just say it is misused about as often as “ironically.”

        • H0mer0

          “doncha think?”

          • TundraGrifter

            Irregardless

          • TundraGrifter

            “No brainer.” When you hear or read that – you’ll know that person is probably more correct than she or he knows.

    • Subliberal

      Cool story, bro.

      Unfortunately, Wikipedia does not support your claims. For instance, she was not prosecuted by the IRS… In 1988, then United States Attorney Rudy Giuliani indicted the Helmsleys and two of their associates on several tax-related charges, as well as extortion.

      Possibly a distinction without a difference, but she certainly wasn’t “railroaded”.
      http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Leona_Helmsley#/Tax_evasion_conviction

      • TundraGrifter

        Thank you for the correction. It wasn’t the IRS. The balance of my comment remains correct, and the article you linked backs it up. She got the shaft.

        9/11 Rudy was a notorious grandstander. He loved the Wall Street “perp walk” – how many of those guys (and they were always guys) were never convicted of anything?

    • Gregory Brown

      The contractors provided documents demonstrating how the Helmsleys illegally tried to bill the work on their mansion to their hotels as business expenses. Unless you are philosophically OK with that, I don’t think “railroaded” is the word you are looking for.

      • TundraGrifter

        The story is much deeper than that. There is no doubt that Mrs. Helmsley wasn’t always a day at the beach. She wasn’t easy to get along with. She got in disputes with various vendors regarding payment.

        IF she did anything wrong – and from what I read at the time, the Helmsleys were overpaying their taxes – she should have gotten probation. Not prison time.

        She went to the Big House for being a bitch.

        • bowtiejack

          If they nailed her for criminal tax fraud they didn’t do it by proving she was an unpleasant person. They did it with documents.

          • TundraGrifter

            I wish your comment was correct. The evidence is clear it isn’t.

  • BeachLoafer

    So, uh, tax authorities don’t generally place a lien on you until they’ve made several attempts to resolve the issue through less forceful methods, suggesting that her company is making a concerted effort not to pay a $5,000 bill?!?!? WTF?

    I can’t imagine any competent attorney advising her/them to quibble over five grand – there’s no way they can fight it for less than that, and any lawyer who’d suggest they should is probably only doing so to line their own pockets.

    • Dee Andee

      Also considering she paid (or DID she?) 5 grand for that tin foil gown she wore a few weeks back.

      I think it’s just the old “Trump-take” a.k.a.-don’t pay people and then make them go even more broke trying to get paid, because if you’re a Trump, it’s fun to fuck people over, it’s how they feel alive!

    • Bongstar420

      To them, its worth $20,000 to not pay the big bad gubmint $5,000

      Seems common with the rich.

      ….and is why I say, double the upper income tax brackets and watch wages go up as they would rather pay for work than gubmint.

    • H0mer0

      uh oh

  • unhipcat

    these diamonds DO NOT PLEASE ME

  • Bongstar420

    She wasn’t happy there wasn’t enough blood on them I guess

  • Scrofula

    Tomorrow: Ivanka to file for bankruptcy, not pay her bills, still collect millions through Trumgriftics.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Puh-lease. Only peons pay taxes before profits that actually go into the bank.

  • Weevie

    I thought that was Leona Helmsley, who famously said something like “If they don’t see it, they won’t notice it?” Yeah, whatever, how pithy. It’s a really good pic, really. Really.
    Ivanka’s sleazier than Leona was and $10 says the Trump family net worth is really $1.98. Really.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Yeah, but she looked damned good while she was doing all this, so whatsyerproblem? Her job is to LOOK GOOD and KEEP DADDY CALM.

  • Ducksworthy

    Leona was her baby sitter wasn’t she. She was one of Donnie’s flames in the 1970’s.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    The very very jealous Wonketeers are making up stuff again…but even if they aren’t, it’s not a crime to forget to pay your taxes as long as you really wanted to deep down in your heart. And that’s what makes America great, again.

  • She’ll have that paid off in no time and a new business up and running successfully with no delay.

    http://www.drewrynewsnetwork.com

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Why do people do business with the Trumps? Are there certain businesses where it’s inevitable that you’ll have to do business with them, and you just go in knowing you’re gong to get screwed and plan for it?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      And charge them more so you can be sure to be paid in full because they won’t pay the vig.

    • notanncoulter

      don’t clench.
      relax and it will go in smoother and hurt less.

  • dshwa

    Nothing in that story surprises me. The genetics of mental illness are poorly understood, but we do know that narcissists always raise narcissists. Always.

    • ahughes798

      I think Uday and Qusay are probably the narcissists. Ivanka doesn’t strike me as one. I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt on this $5000 tax thing. Not saying she isn’t a grifter or anything, though.

      • dshwa

        Definitely those two. Ivanka is a harder call.

      • Popillius

        She’s a grifter. She aided and abetted that scam in Bajo for a tRump-branded development that never materialized – telling people she was going to buy a unit there herself. Those people never got their investments back and the building never went up.

        With this diamonds thing it sounds like she has the same lawyers using the same slippery tricks (“substandard work”) her father employs to get out of paying what he owes to people.

        • ahughes798

          I did not know about her Bajo involvement. That makes her a common thief and fraudster like her father, definitely. I was just commenting on whether or not she’s a narcissist. She’s simply not trying hard enough to be the center of attention, as a narcissist would be. Perhaps there are sub-categories of narcissism?

          • javadavis

            I read somewhere (prolly in comments here) that women as narcissists present a bit differently, like showing off their oh-so-perfect families and dragging their oh-so-sad looking but perfectly dressed children around to photo ops to prove what perfect women they are. Getting shouty, like the men do, tends to ruffle the perfection facade.

          • Popillius

            Oops I should have typed Baja – it was a project in Baja California south of Tijuana that went bust in 2008. And they did have to settle in court – so investors got their money back apparently.

          • ahughes798

            Well, that’s good! I’m sure it’s something that doesn’t commonly happen in Trumplandia.

  • Mitch

    Excuse me, but that’s a picture of Leona Helmsley.

    • H0mer0

      and your point?

    • SeeTrain65

      Right, as in “taxes are for the little people.”

      Please note the similarity to the subject at hand.

    • Grrrr…

      Didja read the caption?

    • OddMan

      √Poe⁻¹

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      “Picture of Isvespa Grey”

  • ahughes798

    Diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friend.

  • Peggy

    Love it! ROFL

  • Why haven’t they been arrested and thrown in jail? Is it because this a complete bullshit article. Also, since when should people who create something not show their creation. If she wasn’t wearing her own clothes and jewelry, the article would berate her for that. “See Ivanka won’t even wear her own clothing line cause it is trash”.
    If Trump doesn’t accomplish even one thing while in office, he has delivered on one of the most enjoyable times in my life. I am thoroughly enjoying watching the complete snowflake meltdown.

  • Lambsendbeds

    It might come to pass that Ivanka will have to share her office with her “stepmother” if the people of New York have their way:
    http://www.alternet.org/election-2016/people-want-melania-trump-be-forced-leave-nyc

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