SHARE

Congratulations, people with no interest in ever having sex for non-procreative purposes again! You got an early Valentine this year from the president, in the form of new Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price! WHAT A CATCH.

The notably grifty Georgia Congressman was confirmed by the Senate today, 52 to 47, which is very bad news for sex-havers across the nation.

It’s probably no surprise that Price is extremely anti-choice. He is, after all, a Republican, and Donald Trump’s choice to head the Health and Human Services Department. He’s got a zero rating from Planned Parenthood, and as a congressman he co-sponsored two “Right To Life” bills meant to ban both abortion and emergency contraception, because he believes fertilized eggs are human beings. Twice, he’s voted for the Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, which would have made abortion illegal after 20 weeks! Because he is stupid and thinks a fetus can feel pain at that point, when in fact it cannot.

So he’s for sure coming for your abortions! That is not in question. The entire Trump administration is coming for your abortions. He is also a vocal opponent of the ACA, which the whole administration is coming for as well.

But he is ALSO gonna be coming for your birth control. Because if there is anything that Tom Price hates as much as he hates abortion, it is birth control. Especially subsidized birth control and birth control that is covered by insurance!

He hates it so much that he thinks your boss should be able to fire you if you or your partner uses it! Can you even imagine hating sex that much?

As far as subsidized/insurance-covered birth control is concerned, Tom Price thinks that is just totally unnecessary, because there isn’t even any such thing as a woman who can’t afford birth control! So there!

Price told ThinkProgress in an interview:

Bring me one woman who has been left behind. Bring me one. There’s not one. The fact of the matter is, this is a trampling of religious freedom and religious liberty in this country. The president does not have the power to say that your First Amendment rights go away. That’s wrong.

Ahahaha! Poor people don’t exist! That is just silly! All the women in this country can afford birth control. Tom Price knows all the women and what they can afford.

Except the really weird thing is — after the ACA birth control requirement was enacted, the abortion rate went down. Why? Because more women had access to birth control and therefore had fewer unintended pregnancies.

Not only does Price want to totally defund Planned Parenthood, he also wants to totally eliminate all Title X funding. Birth control provided to low-income women through Title X funding prevents an estimated 1.94 million pregnancies a year, and seeing as how about 4 million babies are born a year, this would result in a 50% increase in our population. 2 million more babies a year, born to women who cannot even afford birth control. That should work out nicely!

Not to mention that Title X doesn’t just fund birth control — it also funds “education and counseling, breast and pelvic exams, breast and cervical cancer screening, screenings and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), education about preventing STDs and HIV and counseling for affected patients, referrals to other health care resources, pregnancy diagnosis, and pregnancy counseling.”

Oh, yeah — we certainly don’t want people going around getting treatment for STIs!

You would think that someone who really, really hated abortion and also loved fiscal responsibility would be in favor of women having more access to birth control, right? More birth control means fewer abortions! More birth control means fewer babies being born to women who cannot afford to have babies! More birth control means not having to spend money on social services to take care of those unwanted babies!

You’re a sillybilly!

What is even more fun is that Tom Price belongs to a medical group that does not believe in vaccines. Donald Trump does not believe in vaccines either. So not only are we going to have lots more babies born, possibly to people with untreated STIs (syphilis is just GREAT for your unborn baby), that will also be unvaccinated.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of sand?
You can’t prevent a pile of sand with birth control, STI testing and vaccines.

Of course, on the bright side — the women having these unwanted babies will at least not be fired by their employers for having taken birth control.

[CNN | ThinkProgress]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Nounverb911

    I read on the internets that he’s hiring Bristol Palin as deputy assistant associate Secretary in charge of Abstinence.

    • Wild Cat

      Her dad just taught her there’s two other entry ways that don’t produce new souls for Penisless Jesus.

  • cats530

    Happy Valentine’s to All: Tom Price is the worst STD (Sadistic Trump Dominionist) we could catch.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    i was jsut reading the transcript for Price’s swearing in…here’s the vice president: “But we all have known the challenges in recent years since the passage of the Affordable Care Act. ”

    Oh yeah, y’all have known the challenge of people getting affordable health care…what a challenge?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Which challenges are these? The ones they created?

    • Tallmutha

      “We have all had our mental challenges in recent years since the passage of the Affordable Care Act.”

    • elviouslyqueer

      “the challenges in recent years” = “that BLACK GUY occupying OUR White House.”

    • Tallmutha

      I haven’t noticed this, but is trending? R’s calling it by its rightful name rather than “Obamacare”? Is it beginning to break through to them that people actually like it and it might be prudent not to associate it with him?

    • Grrrr…

      Oh, I thought he meant the challenge to the GOP, of losing ground to Dems for pushing thru such beneficial and popular legislation.
      …… It’s 1993 all over again, when Bill Kristol called for the GOP to ” ‘adopt an aggressive and uncompromising counterstrategy designed to delegitimize the proposal, arguing that a bipartisan deal on health care would be a political victory for Democrats and a defeat for the GOP.” [Slate] As in, let’s lie to the American public and tell em that this good plan is actually bad, because people *get* healthcare, they’ll like it, and the Dems will gain too many voters.

  • elviouslyqueer

    We’re all gonna die any way, so basically this is a net win for Price?

  • Chadwells

    Man…I really dislike McCaskill. Why did she abstain from voting? Not that it would matter….but what the FUCK?!

    • Vicious Babushka

      She was with her sick husband who was having surgery.

      • Chadwells

        Ok….I didn’t know that. Don’t these people have a proxy to vote in situations like that? Still….she is problematic, much like Manchin.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Congress does not allow proxy votes. That’s why they held the vote open last weekend after all the bad weather – Senators couldn’t get back, and one vote both Connecticut Senators missed because they couldn’t get through.

          • Chadwells

            Good to know. The weather makes sense not to allow a proxy….but a family emergency such as this sounds like it should be acceptable for such critical confirmations. Meh….what do I know!!!

  • Treg Brown
    • BadKitty904

      Yes, the man tweeted that. To a benchful of judges. Who spend every day…in court.

    • BadKitty904

      (Did Auntie fix breakfast for her darling nephew?)

      • Treg Brown

        Ham, baked beans and eggs, biscuits and gravy. Ask me why I’m wearing scrubs on my day off. They’re the only thing that fits.

        *smiles fat happy smile*

        • BadKitty904

          LOL Well, you could use a lil’ spoiling, I’d say. Plus, with your work schedule, you’ll work it all right back off again.

          • Treg Brown

            I’m only grateful for being looked after, and thank her with hugs and attention.

            Also, too, we’re going shopping today.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f940abe153aae1b323ee1530c62b54f8dd368f9dd62d29d5a41c57f6d334d5c.jpg

          • BadKitty904

            THAT will work off some calories, for sure. And if fundage allows, you might buy her some flowers to deck out her Hoveround :0)

          • Treg Brown

            The hoveround is for fat Treg :- ) )))

            Also too, I bought her flowers yesterday for her room.

          • BadKitty904

            LOL OK, you got me there.

  • cats530

    “Of course, on the bright side — the women having these unwanted babies
    will at least not be fired by their employers for having taken birth
    control.”

    Ha! That’s what you think. Next up on the Gynecologically Obsessed Patriarch agenda: Sluts Should Be Fired Bill (although I’m sure it will be appropriately Orwellianly named, something like Empowerment of Women’s Employment Act)

    • suziq

      Exactly what I was thinking! Like no women have ever been fired because they got pregnant! Please. They may not say that is why but everyone knows a pregnant woman can’t do the job as well as a non-pregnant woman (who couldn’t do it as well as a man of course).
      And of course they aren’t worried about the cost to take care of babies that women can’t afford. No more social services for those freeloaders. Them babies need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps! It’s like they do nothing but eat and sleep!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Being babies, wouldn’t they need to pull themselves up by their bootie straps?

    • Grrrr…

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/dorLMUR.jpg[/img]

  • C4TWOMAN

    “He hates it so much that he thinks your boss should be able to fire you if you or your partner uses it!

    Halp! Now the menz are being oppressed maybe this will be taken more seriously!

    • Rick Hill

      That’s some weapons grade jerb creatin’

  • memzilla Ω
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      A secret plan to fight inflation repeal Obamacare?

  • dslindc

    Couldn’t we just have some of those awful, chalky heart candies instead?

  • Warned_and_Persistent

    “Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone (ed: or 2 people), somewhere, may be happy.”
    – Mencken

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • C4TWOMAN

      Well, not with anyone else, anyway.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      With men, at any rate.

  • memzilla Ω

    FutureCast: Here’s a sneak preview of how TrumpCare gets signed into law!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6d7bb64ff12f96fa438043f371655f4e20e91ccb02597e0185070c97c2541792.png

  • Chadwells

    OT: In other news….Fuuuuuuuuck you, Arne Duncan. I wish these stupid mother fuckers would STFU and stop giving the GOP leverage.

    “Obama Education secretary condemns protest against DeVos at DC school”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/318951-obama-education-secretary-condemns-protests-against-devos-at-dc

    • BadKitty904

      Vichy Democrats. Either you’re against the Republican coup or you’re a collaborator.

      • Chadwells

        Exactly!

    • Man, do they not have editors at The Hill? Let me fix this for them…

      “…her first visit to a public K–12 school since she was sworn in as secretary of Education on Tuesday ever.”

    • ImPEECH!

      I’m reading the linked story and seeing his message spelled out, asking to not block Betsy from entering, even if in protest, because, quote: “she needs to be in public schools.”
      I don’t always agree w/ Arne but I’m with him on this. a.) human-blocking deVos every time she tries to enter, doesn’t prevent her from what she’ll do at her desk back in the Administration, sign away at stuff. So blocking solves nothing: b.) in fact it would do her a service to have her see the inside of a public school. Might as well. Otherwise, technically, she could say “Well of course I was not able to effect progress with our school systems since they wouldn’t let me in!” and project onto others, blah blah, etc.
      I don’t want to enable her incompetence with excuses-fodder.
      And I get really tired of headliners like The Hill, Rawstory, etc exaggerating the actual story just for clickbait and fanning flames. There’s enough misinformation out there already. And it seems too easy for libs to swallow the fodder and continue the misinfo, where FLOTUS#44 said we can go higher [paraphrased].

      • Chadwells

        I get where you’re coming from. I am going the scorched earth route. They fucked with us the last 8 years….payback time.

      • Chadwells

        Also….if there is no necessity for her to visit these schools because she’ll do everything she wants at her desk…then I am even more happy she was turned away rather than allowing that ignorant moron to use the same schools she intends on ruining as a publicity stunt.

    • TakingAmes

      Arne Duncan, while not totally terrible, did Chicago Public Schools very few favors whilst being in charge of them. School systems shouldn’t have CEOs. Much like federal governments.

  • Vicious Babushka

    Let’s not forget that he is also coming for your Medicare and your Social Security, of all you Olds who think you are OK because your uterii and your sperm sacs are all shriveled and can’t make babbies.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    By the fucking way:

    You know that birth control pills can keep you from getting pregnant. But the pill can have other benefits, too. One survey found that more than half of women who take birth control pills do so for reasons other than avoiding pregnancy.

    http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-i-guess-you-re-outta-luck.png

  • Treg Brown
    • Proud Liberal

      Get others to prepare for it too!

      • Treg Brown

        Ramen…

  • BMW
  • cats530

    Phyllis Schlaffly is applauding from the grave.

    • Warned_and_Persistent

      True. I can almost hear the cackling too

    • Wild Cat

      Yeah, but she’s so dried up now she can’t squirt . . .

    • JohnBull

      Then she’s off getting Lucifer a sammich.

  • Proud Liberal

    Jesus. What is it with these guys? They hate regulation until it comes to a woman’s body!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Women aren’t people and they don’t own their bodies. Men are people and they own women’s bodies. It’s in the Bible, check it out.

    • Wild Cat

      Plus they have nothing to fear. They can’t make their truck-stop trysts preggers.

  • BadKitty904
  • I can imagine hating sex that much if I had to have sex with Tom Price…

    • Tallmutha

      True. That would explain why he hates it so much.

    • Me not sure

      If you aren’t connected to his wrist you’re probably OK on that score.

    • Wild Cat

      I needed a few bucks so I did him once. That ostrich outfit was really weird and it smelled like shit.

      • cats530

        He was into Diaper Dave Vitter kink?

        • Wild Cat

          He wanted me to fondle his buttocks as he stuck his head in the sand.

          • cats530

            Ew! TMI!

    • cats530

      Tom Price’s mother-in-law advising her daughter before marriage: Brace yourself, dear. Lie back, think of America and take one for the team! It shouldn’t last longer than 30 seconds, hopefully…

  • anwisok
    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Good thing you stocked up on cuteness, but I guess we’ll need more desks. And windows. Hey, maybe this IS good news for the economy!

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    So, is it still OK to say fuck these people?

    • JohnBull

      With votes?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Tom Price is a Nazi pig. End of discussion.

    • capnkrunch

      Godwin’s…*checks*…still suspended. My bad. Carry on.

  • Martini Ambassador
    • cats530

      But all of those things (except for working mothers) don’t involve punishment for women. Keeping women in their proper places (at home and hearth) is the goal.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      This can’t be posted too many times.

    • Grrrr…

      Definitely post it again — I hadn’t seen it before, and I’m sure that’ll be true for others on the board (or other newcomers). +1111

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I have no words. Let me rephrase that. I have no polite words.

    Fire women for using birth control????? I’d like to have seen them try that on me, I’d have sued them for every penny they had, and based on my medical history, I would have won easily. Too late for me to get rich now, cause I’m old.

    • Thiazin Red

      I’ll have to look it up, but there have been cases of women being fired from catholic schools for using birth control, getting in vitro, being pregnant without being married.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It’s true. Nobody dares to sue Catholic schools, or if they do, they face Jesuit lawyers and can’t afford to pursue the suit.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I think it was more prevalent in Catholic hospitals, but you are correct.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    screenings and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), education about preventing STDs and HIV and counseling

    “I’m putting the VD back in Valentine’s Day.”
    — Tom Price

  • Wild Cat

    It’s all true. In the 1950s, 6,897,907 college-aged men lost their respective virginities because of one slut!!! Now, with the help of Penisless Christ, we can bring back the 1950s sans that slut. (Plus if Teh Straights can’t have sex, us closeted neo-nazi repubs won’t feel as weird . . . )

  • Chadwells

    The world would have been a better place if many of these assholes like Dampnut, Bannon, Price etc. had been aborted. The irony….

  • Thiazin Red

    I would like to see an answer from these chodes about what exactly the plan is for all these unwanted babies. We can’t place all of the available existing children with adoptive homes now. How will schools cope with double the kids? What are these kids going to do for jobs?

    • marxalot

      FAITH BASED INITIAITVES11!!!1!!ELEVENTYSLUTSHAME!!11!!

    • TakingAmes

      Pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. Obvs.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    The mistake most women make in terms of reproductive health policy is being already born.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Oh, joy. No birth control, no support for poors who get pregnant, and no support for anything except married missionary sex for purposes of reproduction.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/54e735f01e11c5f29b0c91e14fe59297d2b3641bddf784daa72077f90b9ea863.jpg

    • capnkrunch

      But at least they are thinking of the children. The unborn ones at least.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    What is even more fun is that Tom Price belongs to a medical group that does not believe in vaccines.

    “See, he’s not all bad. You’re welcome America.”
    — Jill Stein

  • Scrofula

    Can we start some group that says the FSM thinks it’s a sin to get enlarged-prostate meds or something? FSM meant for old white guys to piss all over themselves at night? After all, a lot of THEM are hormone-based, just like birth control.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Thank goodness Donald Trump is outsider with new ideas, not beholden to extremists on either side.”
    — The MSM, about four months ago?

    • Wild Cat

      MSM? You mean the communist libtard media. Like CNN and Ross Douthat and that wise old nazi, Pat Buchanan.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Don’t forget the New York Fucking Times.

        • Wild Cat

          I have. For over three months now.

  • Warned_and_Persistent

    I’d send him a Valentine’s Day box of mixed dark and milk chocolates, but I suspect he is a white chocolate guy, no mixing please.

    • Pilotshark

      some nice heart shape ex-lax chocolate :-)

  • laughingnome

    Trump describing how he hugged and fondled Prime Minister of Japan.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Grabbed him by the pecker.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “it’s not a gay thing, all Asians look like teenage girls to me.”
        — Donald Trump

    • marxalot

      The PM’s reaction to that… clinch… is the new best “oh god what the fuck was that” reaction GIF.

  • Proud Liberal

    Meanwhile at the White House…

    “5 Disturbing New Revelations About What’s Really Going on Inside the Chaotic Trump White House”

    http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/5-disturbing-new-revelations-about-whats-really-going-inside-chaotic-trump-white

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “In Russia, the only people who get STIs are those who lack the willpower to drink themselves to death.”
    — Vladimir Putin

    • Oblios_Cap

      In Russia, STI’s catch you!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Price probably thinks women should consider themselves lucky to get 76% of a man’s salary instead of 50% like Jesus intended.

  • JohnBull

    Thank God the previous president set up these Jade Helm work camps for these fornicators.

    • therblig

      the Matt Helm camps were much sexier!

  • Martini Ambassador

    Well, think of it this way. The new pool of poor babies (assuming they live to be 7 or 8 years old) will make coal mining and sweatshops great again. And they’ll hardly complain at all. Make 4 shillings a week great again!

    • cats530

      And they’ll exist on one watery-thin bowl of gruel a day. Thank you, sir. May I have another?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Screw that! imma poaching a rabbit!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      They can take their script and buy things at the company store!

    • therblig
      • Oblios_Cap

        A truly great website.

  • Tallmutha

    Just a reminder: When MoDo asked him whether he’d ever paid for an abortion, Trump said “Next question.” Aren’t those Republican men adorable scamps?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Was billed for, yes. Paid, maybe not?

    • He only pays for jobs that get the job to 100% completion. Since the woman was still in the picture….

  • goonemeritus

    Sounds like an opportunity for an entrepreneurial person like myself who lives near the Canadian border to start an import business.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Perhaps with a clinic, you know, for travelers who have minor medical emergencies: low blood suger, concussion, sprained ankles–that kinda thing. And a big back room to store, um, supplies…

      • goonemeritus

        Free enterprise is revered by the Party presently enjoying power, or so I am told.

    • Rags

      No offense, but it is always worth mentioning that folks with resources to cruise up to Canada are not the folks at risk here.

      • goonemeritus

        Nor are people living in States like NY, we were whooping it up with slut pills and abortions before the rest of the country did.

    • snigsy

      I live in Manisnowba. In 2013, 68 asylum seekers “illegally” walked across the border from Minnesota and North Dakota. So far this WINTER more than 400 have crossed in -30 and below temps. That includes children and a man who lost a hand because of severe frostbite.

      • goonemeritus

        I lived in Montreal for a year, I still miss Montreal smoked meat.

        • snigsy

          And the bagels!

          • goonemeritus

            Good but not Long Island good.

  • Thiazin Red

    Its stuff like this that makes it 100% clear that its all about punishing hoors. None of these people give one single solitary shit about babies.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Or the poor being able to access high-quality healthcare like breast-cancer screenings. They really would like us all to die quickly, even though they obviously have not thought through the implications.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I worked a decent full-time job, as a manager, for 15 years, and I couldn’t have begun to afford birth control out of pocket. The ACA covered 100% of my IUD and insertion, which cost a ridiculous amount. I never could have afforded it without my insurance. Of course, we all know that, and so does Price. He WANTS women left behind. That’s the goal.

    • Thiazin Red

      I work for a hospital in a big liberal city with good public transportation and have pretty good insurance. Its still an amazing pain in the ass to get birth control.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Exactly. And a tricky prospect. What works for one woman will seriously fuck another one up. Birth control is big concern for most of us our entire adult lives. It’s a serious and important medical issue that should be handled carefully, by the qualified. I am so sick and tired of it being treated otherwise.

        • Roadstergal

          That’s an excellent point. You have to try the various options to see what will work for you long-term. If you have to pay out of pocket, it gets _ugly_ fast.

          It’s good for insurance companies, because no babbies are cheaper than babbies, and the fewer side effects you have, the less they have to pay for visits for the side effects… but insurance companies have the pocketbooks to pay for the long game.

    • Treg Brown

      Good morning Ms MLG. I hope the island is offering you a beautiful day. I’m waiting for a rainstorm later today, and as a Californian am freekin grateful for more water!

      *Ginormous hugs for you*

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Good morning! I will perform (poorly) a Raindance immediately! I hope it pours. We have a storm coming in over the weekend, so I think we are gonna head to the beach later. You have the best day!

    • Grrrr…

      I was prescribed BCP for about 12 years, bc of a medical condition — and even so, with documentation from my OB-GYN, insurance wouldn’t cover them. $35/month, which at the time was 1.5x my gas+elec bill (and a sum I couldn’t afford, bc commie/libtard that I am, I always worked non-corporate and earned nothing).
      ….. And when Viagra et al. came along and were covered immediately by insurance — despite the fact that being boner-less can’t cause cancer, whereas my ailment could have — un-fuck-ing-bee-lee-va BULL.

  • BearLeft

    I guess the Grim Reaper must have had a prior engagement ….

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Great Pumpkin is using his bully pulpit as we speak. What bullshit shall be spewed today?

    • The Wanderer

      It’ll be the best bullshit, the highest quality!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, clearly he hasn’t learned not to touch the red-hot stove. Oh, and he “grabbed” the Japanese Prime Minister and gave him “a big old hug”.
      https://twitter.com/CNN/status/830122353178853376

      • The Wanderer

        He’ll have the entire SCOTUS and every Federal judge arrested over the weekend.

      • Markuserektus
        • Oblios_Cap

          This “keep us safe” shit bothers me. The fact is, that at any time, some crazy can kill a group of people and there’s not really a lot that can be done in advance to stop them if they are dedicated. Terrorists, by definition, spread terror. When you look at the number of attacks in relation to the total population, they are really miniscule. In fact, you are probably more likely to die in a variety of different ways other than a terror attack.

          The fact that a few people can freak out an entire nation and turn them into quivering bed-wetting bowls of jello just means that the terrorists have won.

          • NastyBossetti

            I think the numbers go something like this: you have a 0.00003% chance of being killed in an attack by a foreign-born terrorist in the US. On average, 9 people per year are killed by Muslim extremists in the US, but nearly 13,000 die from gun violence (that number almost triples if you include suicide), and 37,000 people die in traffic accidents. So why isn’t everyone wetting themselves every time they get in a car? They’re much more likely to be killed that way.

          • Phoenixdoglover

            If you keep pondering that question, you’ll end up homeless and incontinent. People are not rational.

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        Sure he was hugging and not frisking him before sending him to an internment camp?

    • Kateaux

      Great Pumpkin libelz!

      As for Drumpf, GODS when will this nightmare end?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Send the Puritans back.

    • Proud Liberal

      God, give them an island and let climate change sink it.

    • Thiazin Red

      Old joke:

      When England sent people to form colonies, why did America get the puritans and Australia get the convicts? Because Australia got first pick.

  • The Wanderer

    “Tantum religion potuit suadere malorum (Many are the evils to which religion has led men).” – Lucretius

    “Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” – Voltaire

    “If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.” – Erica Jong

  • Proud Liberal

    In other news….

    “Protesters Block Education Secretary Betsy DeVos From Entering D.C. Middle School
    “You do not represent anything that they stand for,” crowds of protesters shouted.”

    http://www.alternet.org/activism/protesters-block-education-secretary-betsy-devos-entering-dc-middle-school

    • HazooToo

      That made me proud.

    • Roadstergal

      Where were the bears??

  • Aw, there ain’t no health care problem that can’t be treated with prayer and duct tape.

  • Wild Cat

    Earth to Berniebots and SteinGoodmanSarandonPrettyBabies: Girls stopped giving sex out for free in Prague decades ago, so you can study your blue balls (and regrets) alone . . . *

    * You dumb asswipes!

  • theblackdog

    *looks at vote* 52 to 47? Who went traitor? *side eye*
    *Checks names* Claire McCaskill didn’t vote? WTF? *serious side eye*
    *Googles* Oh, her hubby is having heart surgery today *side eye withdrawn*

    • Chadwells

      I thought the same thing…still, she sucks. She’s another Manchin. I used to think she was solid…sadly disappointed.

      • theblackdog

        This is the argument that my fiance and I have been having about Susan Collins and whether or not she should just remain on a shit list or not. He’s been more of the “they’re not going to be perfect all the time” type

        Of course last night he suggested establishing residency in W VA so that we could vote out Manchin. I don’t think I would want the 3 hour commute.

        • Chadwells

          McCaskill voted to repeal the streams protection from coal mining which surprised me and moved her into the shit list. I’m scorched earth with these a-holes!!! Thank god my wife is too!!!

          • theblackdog

            Ah! I missed that, mostly because I was watching my own Sens and they have been good…so far.

  • Thiazin Red

    While we’re on the subject of BC, one thing that bugs me is how we always have to dance around it and do things like point out that it can be used for other things. Its true and worth mentioning, but it does still reinforce the idea that using it for its intended purpose is somehow shameful and needs to be justified.

    It would be amazing if it was okay to just say, you know what I use bc because I like fucking and I don’t like babies.

    • Coming of age in NorCal in 70s we had comprehensive sex ed in high school. It blows my mind that 40 years later this is still going on.

      It is like Syphilis pushing the rock uphill.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        One must imagine Syphilis happy.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall
      • SadDemInTex

        And me as well…I grew up in SF and my health class was excellent (so excellent that I never ever got pregnant bc I really understood how it worked and how bc worked). In an interesting aside I wrote for my health class a paper on the history of gay life in SF. I don’t really remember it as I probably cribbed my ideas from a bunch of books that were in the library.

        • Grrrr…

          Please send DeVos a letter with that info. Pleeeze pleeeze pleeeze pleeeze.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      PREACH! I like to be a full human being who doesn’t need permission from a bunch of old white men to choose how I spend my time on Earth.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That is totally okay to say here! and you know what, I’ll tell you a secret – the only babies I ever really liked were my own, and maybe a few of my nieces and nephews, but only for a few fleeting moments. Babies are yucky!

      • Thiazin Red

        I don’t get it. Whatever most people have that makes them think babies are cute, or entertaining, I don’t have it. I’m glad other people do.

        • Oblios_Cap

          They’re actually kinda needy, smelly, and gross. Especially other peoples’.

        • HazooToo

          I never liked em until I had one. That said, mine is special and different, and since there is no guarantee yours will be anywhere near as awesome, you do you.

          • Thiazin Red

            I could possibly be okay with old school upper class British child rearing. They stay isolated in the nursery until they’re old enough for school, and after that I interact with them at meals or when they demonstrate their accomplishments.

          • HazooToo

            If someday down the line you develop the urge to raise something like a pet, but much harder and more expensive and less docile, you can always adopt a child and skip the baby years altogether. And the foster system, as always, is overwhelmed with older children.

          • Thiazin Red

            I don’t know, I’m tempted to return my cats sometimes.

          • HazooToo

            Cats are assholes. Lovable furry assholes.

        • Roadstergal

          Handing me a baby is like handing me a sack of flour. A snotty sack of flour. I’ll look after it for you if I like you and you need a break, but it’s not an honor!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I love babies, but I don’t want to be forced to have fifteen or so of them because some gross old white men think I should. (I am too old to have babies, but I’m pissed on behalf of my entire gender.)

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      While we’re on the subject can people stop pretending emergency contraceptives are abortion pills? THAT IS BIOLOGICALLY INCORRECT AND SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN WRONG AND I cannot calm down when talking about people who can’t science.

      • cats530

        No, they can’t stop pretending. If they acknowledged the facts, they would have nothing to be mock outraged about (or should I say one less thing to be mock outraged about).

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That is the real issue with these people- once in a while you catch them saying “Young women shouldn’t have consequence free sex”. You know, because if you’re afraid of getting pregnant, you won’t have sex.
      It will be interesting to see how they move the goalpost if (or when) there’s hormonal birth control for men.

      • cats530

        Yes, the idea that anyone could have “consequence free sex” causes them to foam at the mouth and fly into a rabid rage. It’s all about SIN! PUNISHMENT! CONSEQUENCES! with these morons.

        • SadDemInTex

          Actually it’s that women can be controlled and commanded by the possibility of pregnancy and the actuality of pregnancy and being made responsible for children. If you can keep them pregnant, pious (bc being male is EVERYTHING in the Babble) and in the kitchen then even the most pathetic man feels empowered. The original KKK (from Nazi Germany) Kinder, Kuche, Kirche (don’t know how to put an umlaut using an iPad). Hitler was impotent and he hated smart women.

          • cats530

            Yes, I remember the Kinder, Kuche, Kirche from historical readings. Disgusting! Kontrolling, Khristian, Konservative is much more like it ; )

          • Roadstergal

            The Pill
            Loretta Lynn

            You wined me and dined me
            When I was your girl
            Promised if I’d be your wife
            You’d show me the world

            But all I’ve seen of this old world
            Is a bed and a doctor bill
            I’m tearin’ down your brooder house
            ‘Cause now I’ve got the pill

            All these years I’ve stayed at home
            While you had all your fun
            And every year that’s gone by
            Another baby’s come

            There’s a gonna be some changes made
            Right here on nursery hill
            You’ve set this chicken your last time
            ‘Cause now I’ve got the pill

            This old maternity dress I’ve got
            Is goin’ in the garbage
            The clothes I’m wearin’ from now on
            Won’t take up so much yardage

            Mini skirts, hot pants
            And a few little fancy frills
            Yeah, I’m makin’ up for all those years
            Since I’ve got the pill

            I’m tired of all your crowin’
            How you and your hens play
            While holdin’ a couple in my arms
            Another’s on the way

            This chicken’s done tore up her nest
            And I’m ready to make a deal
            And you can’t afford to turn it down
            ‘Cause you know I’ve got the pill

            This incubator is overused
            Because you’ve kept it filled
            The feelin’ good comes easy now
            Since I’ve got the pill

            It’s gettin’ dark, it’s roostin’ time
            Tonight’s too good to be real
            Oh, but daddy don’t you worry none
            ‘Cause mama’s got the pill
            Oh, daddy don’t you worry none
            ‘Cause mama’s got the pill

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Umlaut. Fake punctuation…a plot by the Germans to deprive us of our semicolons, commas…that kind of…punctuation is American. We need to make punctuation American again…sad…weak.

          • Unhappy Fingers

            On the iPad or iPhone, just keep your finger on the key of the letter until a small menu pops up. Slide your finger to the one you want. Bingo.

            Also, as an ex-Midwestern guy, it strikes me that the Repub types that want to get rid of BC and the like prolly think the right outcome for someone getting pregnant outside of marriage is the good old “shotgun” marriage. Yeeech.

            I guess the next few years are going to be an eternal repeat of Sandra Fluke’s experience when trying to talk to that all-older-white-male committee. Gaaaah!!

        • Snark Tank, Bad Hombre

          If this were the case, cats, they shouldn’t have elected the living embodiment of the Seven Deadly Sins to the highest office in the land.

    • Roadstergal

      And that these things are not mutually exclusive! With my birth control, I no longer have horribly painful periods. And I also have sex without babies! What a wonderful world we live in!

    • Grrrr…

      I remember feeling ashamed, at age 12, because I didn’t like babies; I can still see [name withheld], a pimply prematurely busty 13-yr-old at the same swim club, taking 2-year-olds in the shallow end of the pool, cooing at them and gently bobbing up and down. Thank gd young women now see all sorts of adult women on TV and won’t (I hope) feel shame for having zip maternal instinct.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Oh, and thanks “economically anxious” white ladies that cast your vote for this administration, because “he’s real, speaks his mind and we want a change.”

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/44/20/6c/44206cc3adde0ed0d7c6b983a45c611b.jpg
    http://www.theragblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/personhood-movement.jpg

  • Ugh. I work in HHS. It’s so depressing. We’ll all be just keeping our heads down for the next four years.

    • Scrofula

      Well, lift them up when you can. Good luck.

    • Terpsichord

      I feel for you. I have been through a similar “change” a few years ago. Remember, you can still follow the letter of the law and regs whilst doing so so slowly that a slug can beat you to the finish line. In my case, I also made liberal use of a fraud tips hotline to alert folks that a higher up was abusing the services of government employees for personal gain. This too shall pass.

  • snigsy

    ” . . . this is a trampling of religious freedom . . .” This Trumpling needs to be trampled (and, sigh, yes with votes, of course).

  • cats530

    With the current political atmosphere, I would advocate that if you are done having kids, consider a tubal. I had one and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Every time I bring it up on a RWNJ site that I am now enjoying the pleasures of consequence-free sex, the weeping, wailing and gnashing of misogynist teeth grows great.

    I really hate that our country has come to this though. Women regulate their own bodies. Not men. And why should women have to think about LARCs or tubals just because of some dastardly GOP theocratic plot? At any rate, how long until the GOP bans LARCs or permanent sterilization?

    • LucindathePook

      Yeah, my ma had a hysterectomy at age 39 and pretty much described it as the best day of her life.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I’m grateful every day for the doctor who finally performed my tubal. She was the 7th doctor I asked, and it took over 5 years to get it because I was young and the doctors knew for certain that I would regret not being a mommy. I had to endure a miserable pregnancy before I was even considered a candidate for the procedure. I am a mother, and I love my son, but my life as I had envisioned it evaporated when I made the choice to continue that unplanned pregnancy. That choice was largely influenced by the culture of shame surrounding any unplanned pregnancy, as well as the refrain of “mommyhood is good” that those doctors, and the culture as a whole pounded into me.

      • cats530

        I was fairly young too, but had my 2 kids, had complications and told my doctor that I didn’t want any more kids, 2 was enough to handle and with the possibility of further health complications I wanted a tubal. Luckily, he didn’t patronize me and did agree to it. My friends told me horror stories about being patronized though. I am really sick and tired of women being patronized not only by men but by other women, many of them doctors/nurses who should know better than that.

        Also, super-duper sick of men who patronizingly tell women how “natural” pregnancy is and that there are no complications (yes, I’ve had them tell me that) or risks to women’s health during pregnancy. Ugh! Ok, rant over.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          The irony (if that is still a thing) is that my ex husband was offered a vasectomy, by the same doctor who had just turned me down (we were both 21, both child free and career oriented). They were willing to schedule his procedure within a week.

          • cats530

            I had to get my husband’s signed consent to have the tubal done. It wasn’t my doctor, it was the stupid hospital rules and this in a blue area of California! I asked the admin what if I didn’t have a husband, would I have to ask my father? She said, “No, of course not and you wouldn’t have to get spousal consent.” Grrrrrrrr.

          • Grrrr…

            Please bear with me if I’m misunderstanding, but: Was the policy to make sure that both in the marriage were in agreement re: “no more kids”? That is, did the hospital require wives to sign off on hubs’ vasectomies? Or was it definitely a patriarchal, get-permission-type thing?

        • NastyBossetti

          A woman in this country is more likely to die in childbirth than in a terrorist attack. So if this president is so concerned about keeping our country safe, maybe he should take a look at stopping the threat of childbirth.

          • cats530

            Forced-birthers also don’t like it that abortions are statistically safer for women than childbirth.

  • PubOption
    • The Wanderer

      “Meet me under the moonlight in the Forbidden Sector.”
      “Of course – wait! What is that belt you’re wearing?”
      “It’s the Anti-Sex League belt.”
      “Ah. Ahem. I don’t think I’ll come.”

    • mancityRed6

      looks like the cover for a pulp version of 1984

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Paperback cover for the Signet edition of the real thing. No lie.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I get the depo shot for mood/period reasons and I couldn’t afford it without Medicaid so what if I get it late in May and in the time I’m off of it go to meet Tom Price?

    • suziq

      I am sure there would be plenty of women who would like to meet with Mr. Tom Price to explain what and why they can not afford birth control and related medical expenses. Let’s schedule an appointment with him shall we? And make sure to post it everywhere so we can ALL show up! Fun times, maybe not for Price.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        His name is Price, you’d think he’d want to be educated on affordability.

        • suziq

          Hmmm, I think that means he already knows every thing he needs to know. He seems like he is really up to date on all the health and humans things. And probably prices for them.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      This is another person whose life we should make f’n miserable. Just hound him.

  • Can we institute a policy around here of not referring to the anti-choice crowd as neither anti-choice nor pro-life.

    They are pro-forced birth.

    If they were truly pro-life, then as part of their plans they would support both birth control (to reduce abortions outright) and strong social services to handle all the orphans up for adoption.

    • Jonny On Maui

      “Slavers” is another perfectly good name…

      • Snark Tank, Bad Hombre

        I’m sticking with “hoofwanking bunglecunts”. And “dickheads”. And “idiots”.

    • Grrrr…

      I’ve used anti-choice (never pro BLECH) and wouldn’t mind stopping but I have a question — do you propose the change bc you think that “anti-choice” is too mild for the actual sole outcome they find acceptable?

      • I want to call a spade. Calling it anti-choice is like they are stopping someone from choosing a flavor of ice cream or something else innocuous.

  • Anna Rompage

    In honor of Prime Minister Abe’s visit to the US, Donald has asked his chefs at Mar-A-Lago to make Teriyaki Bowls, served in deep fried rice bowls for their lunch date together…

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      ‘You people eat raw fish, right? I had the chef thaw out some fish sticks for ya. They didn’t have any of that sacky stuff, though, so I hope you don’t mind Diet Pepsi.’

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    No, they will be fired for getting pregnant.

  • suziq

    Okay, so most of these guys are married and have 2-3 kids. Some do have more, but not most. Do they only have sex with their wives when they want a baby? So maybe it takes a few times each so they have had sex maybe 10 times in their lives? I suspect not. For some reason I think their wives use birth control, which of course is not discussed, as no female issues are. The men think it is really hard to get pregnant and their wives only have a kid when it doesn’t work (antibiotics can make birth control pills ineffective people!). And of course since around a third of all women will have an abortion there are probably some republican types having them too. Do their husbands not know, or are they common Scott Desjarlais’s who are gross hypocrites?

    • HazooToo

      Gross hypocrites. Without exception.

      • suziq

        They are, but I wonder if they really are kind of stupid. Some have proven they really don’t understand how that whole reproductive thing works. Though Scott DeJ is a doctor, but he is the biggest kind of hypocrite out there. Made his mistresses get abortions while fighting to get rid of abortion. Usual MO.

        • HazooToo

          Can’t they be both? After all, even if they literally do not understand how babies are made or how a fetus grows, they can still think they’re special and different from everyone else.

    • cats530

      I wonder what Tom Price’s official stance on Viagra is?

      • suziq

        Hey-that is personal doctor-patient privilege info! None of our business!

        • cats530

          Of course, but good old Tom has no qualm about violating womens’ doctor-patient privilege ; )

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Wide.

        • cats530

          and maybe there’s a little toe-tapping action thrown in?

  • Amelia

    So this man, this pathetic little man, hates women, people with sexual agency, and poors so much that if he can’t starve them to death by forcing them to have children they can’t afford and denying them health care, a living wage, and any government assistance at all, then by GOD he’ll do it with breast cancer, STIs, or small pox.

    All in the name of religious fucking freedom.

    RADICAL CHRISTIAN EXTREMISTS. I said the magic words! Why aren’t they going away?

    • Anna Rompage

      You’ve got to say it 3 times while clicking your ruby red shoes together!

      • Amelia

        Will navy blue slippers do in a pinch?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Apparently not.

  • Wookie Monster

    Do republicans have a bet to see how many really terrible ideas they can implement before Easter?

  • andyshelt
    • Mike Steele

      You just made me laugh as I remembered us rolling on the movie house floor when I first saw that film with Mom:)

  • NastyBossetti

    “Of course, on the bright side — the women having these unwanted babies will at least not be fired by their employers for having taken birth control.”
    No, they’ll be fired for having to take time off to give birth and then recover from giving birth!

    • Snark Tank, Bad Hombre

      Plus, duh, they shouldn’t be in the workplace anyway, since they’re just taking jerbs from white men! Republican thinking often makes no fucking sense, unless you look at it from a white nationalist standpoint….

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    Fuck the god botherers, and fuck everyone who takes their shit seriously.

  • Tony Prost

    Of course, on the bright side — the women
    having these unwanted babies will at least not be fired by their
    employers for having taken birth control.
    ….See, he is saving American jobs!

  • andyshelt

    “Not only does Price want to totally defund Planned Parenthood, he also wants to totally eliminate all Title X funding. ” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4f11ac9a99e159cf3c7fb0f0d3002baaf6924790f9e8f0fd69b62d533d9e8192.jpg

    • cats530

      Becuz….JEBUS!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Because stupid.

      • brucej

        Because women are, in his worldview, simply brood mares and fucktoys.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Because that isn’t their real goal.

    • Stulexington

      Because it gets in the way of making babies! They want babies, well they want other people to have babies. Poor, uneducated, and ripe for grifting.

  • Notreelyhelping

    I think their logic goes: what fella can’t afford a couple rubbers when they need some leg? So just lie back, little ladies, and your husband will take care of you. If you ain’t got a hubby, well, you should spend more time in church to try to snag one.

    And if the rubber breaks, it’s God’s will.

  • cats530

    How come Tom Price wants to stop women from taking birth control? He only has one son during his entire marriage. Now granted, I don’t know his or his wife’s history or their bedroom habits (nor do I want to), but I find it curious that one could only have one kid during that entire time of marriage without some kind of birth control or ? If he’s so big on the “Christian Soldier” reproduction line, why didn’t he do his patriotic part?

    • chicken thief

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate that even Mrs Price won’t fuck Tom Price.

      Alternate speculation: Tom is the bottom. The kid ain’t his.

  • Relativicus

    “What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of sand? You can’t prevent a pile of sand with birth control, STI testing and vaccines.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ee56770c5795ef71d345977670c86de90ce608fcbac0bc6cf4e240c6a7460035.jpg

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Redneck birth control. Fuck like rabbits on Saturday, pray all day Sunday that nothing happens.

    • cats530

      And on Monday, get online and denigrate women for not using birth control in an abortion article’s comment section. On Tuesday, get down to Planned Parenthood to man the slut-shaming brigade and in three months, sneak back to Planned Parenthood for an abortion. By the following Monday after the procedure, they are back in action manning that slut-shaming brigade!

  • rocktonsam

    does he hate dick pills?

    • chicken thief

      Prolly for everyone except his boyfriend. You know how they are always carving out exceptions for themselves.

    • Jack Tenhet

      They never hate the boner pills. FFS, boner pills are covered under MY insurance.

    • cats530

      I had a forced-birther man-splain the “facts” about the vast differences in dick pills and birth control. You see, birth control pills are completely unnatural and bad, bad, bad! Dick pills are different. They just enhance nature and restore nature and are a completely “natural” thing.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Yeah, because 70 year old men with pharmaceutical induces Priapism are totally natural.

        Did the forced birther ever get truth-splained about the fact that some birth control pills are prescribed for medical reasons not related to actual birth control? They’re legitimate medications that can be used for everything from regulating unusually heavy periods to treating the painful symptoms of ovarian cysts. of course, that’s all just gross lady parts problems and men don’t give a damn about any of that.

        • cats530

          I know all about PCOS and endometriosis and those evil hormone pills created by Satan to help my gross nasty woman parts. The forced-birthers turn into crickets when confronted with those icky things.

  • chicken thief

    Price is prolly just trying to drive the stock down so he can invest in some before magically lifting the ban.

  • Jack Tenhet

    “Bring me one woman who has been left behind. Bring me one. There’s not one.”

    Bring just one? That’s easy, I’m married to one.

    • cats530

      Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ on a pogo stick, I hope I get left behind. I certainly don’t want to get raptured with the fundie Jebus crowd.

      • Jack Tenhet

        I hope the “Rapture” is actually the Blondie song. Otherwise, being left behind will suck because those were just the worst books ever written.

        • cats530

          lol – yep. But I’m wondering if the fundies wouldn’t mind leaving their bank accounts and cars (especially the prosperity gospel types) behind for us?

          • Alternative Pony Ron

            As I recall, even their clothes get left behind. Which will be handy because I can never find shoes that fit.

      • Think it is past time for someone to do a rip snorting left behind parody where suddenly the world works.

  • Jenny

    A poem for Tom Price

    Roses are red.
    Violets are blue.
    My thighs are bruised
    But not from you.

    Love, Jenny

  • Stulexington

    “Of course, on the bright side — the women having these unwanted babies will at least not be fired by their employers for having taken birth control.” No, they’ll get fired for getting themselves knocked up and thinking they deserve maternity leave like a common taker. Which would be illegal except for all the right to work legislation that means employers can fire someone just because they feel like it, conveniently circumventing all those pesky labour laws that make the free market sad.

    Maybe if we call Unions a business model they’ll finally get support from the GOP.

    • Grrrr…

      Dear America: There’s this thing called Yurrup, it’s exactly like America except for all the ways it isn’t. This Yurrup thing has been around+ a lot longer than America, and it has worked out a lot of the kinks of this whole living-in-a-civilized-society thing.
      …. So it’s time, America, to stop being a snotty, know-it-all 14-y-o who does the opposite of what his parents tell him to do, just BECAUSE and no matter how beneficial their advice — it’s time for us to follow this Yurrup thing’s lead. The people there have a good standard of living and good economies yet they also have longer vacations and medical care and good public schools and paid maternity leave, and even in most of the Catholic areas the sluts can get abortions, and basically the Yurrup’s peoples rate higher overall on “Satisfied with life?”
      ….. America, stop wasting time re-inventing the wheel; follow Yurrup’s lead. Just think of it as cheating off some guy’s paper during a test — I know all of you in the new cabinet can relate to that!

  • Mavenmaven

    Just imagine being in a room with Devos, Price, Sessions, and all the other effin Trumpis. Now you don’t need birth control anymore.

    • Painter of Goats

      Or appetite suppressants.

    • Roadstergal

      Can I imagine a Louisville Slugger?

    • phoenix00

      Not even viagra can cure that sag.

  • Bill Slider

    I see an ugly pattern: no birth control, no sex education in public schools, no abortions, eliminate the US Department of Education. Oh, and kill the gays, along with no vaxxes. What in the Hell are we supposed to do with all of these sick, unwanted and uneducated children? Is there an App for that?

    • Ωbjectifier
    • BeachBum

      Maybe they want them to work in the Chinese Factory Jobs Trump brings over. But I think you have to live in or move to Rust Belt States. Modern day tenant farmers, peasant, and slaves.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Compress them into bricks for use in the border wall. Or melt them into nutrient paste for prisoners at Guantanamo.

    • Mike Steele

      Use them as forced labor to replace 10M deported illegal immigrants – Trump’s vision of America First

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Gonna jump down
      Spin around
      Pick a bale of cotton
      Gonna jump down
      Spin around
      Pick a bale a day

  • calliecallie

    How can my boss tell if I’m using birth control? Is it the way I walk?

    • o’look Skwerl!

      You don’t have a worried look on your face the day after the Christmas party.

    • Wookie Monster

      In all seriousness, I’ve actually heard people describe bosses who saw employee bathroom breaks as an opportunity to go through their purses looking for slut pills.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        That doesn’t surprise me at all.

      • cats530

        Idiots. Don’t they realize we keep them on our nightstands?

  • CATMAN

    To quote George Carlin: “those people opposed to abortion are the ones you wouldn’t want to fuck anyway”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kCyqBKewr4

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “My wife doesn’t enjoy sex, so I don’t see why anyone else should,” added Price.

    • just_jim

      “His wife enjoys sex just fine. I’ts sex with him she doesn’t enjoy.”

    • Résistance Land Shark

      “I don’t enjoy sex with my wife. However, I do enjoy gladiator movies and Turkish baths,” added Price.

  • Alternative Pony Ron

    Remember last week, when we said WeAreDeVos was the worst possible choice for her Cabinet appointment? Good times.

    • BeachBum

      I might be wrong, but I don’t see how white upper middle class Republicans in the suburbs want a religious school vs a school that will get their kids into college. Religion is not on the SATs.
      That’s just one demographic. There are many others with tons of reasons to oppose vouchers.

  • whitroth

    Trust me, you can’t *IMAGINE* how upset I am about this piece of shit. Someone, who shall remain nameless, works for an agency under him now…

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    I think of all the cabinet picks, this one passes me off the most! He is a greedy, cheap, hate-filled bastard with no concern for other people if it’s going to cost him even the price of a pack of gum. He ignores facts because they can’t enrich him, commits insider trading while railing against legal medical procedures as wrong. I hate to flirt with the Banhammer, but I hope his private planes engine fly into a flock of votes,ans Sully is nowhere to be found. Again, with votes.

  • BeachBum

    Seems like MAGA is the GOP longing for the days of the 12th century, where religion sanctioned rule by Divine Right, an aristocracy owned everything, and used power to maintain a permanent underclass to create more wealth for the few and fight all the wars. The Good Ole Days !

    • SayItWithOtters

      Even in the 12th century, midwives had potions that could sometimes take care of that kind of stuff for you.

  • Bitter Scribe

    How long before we see stuff like this?

    TO: Jane Hapless
    FROM: ChristCo HR
    RE: Fertility suppression-related pay deduction

    It has come to the attention of this department that, in the three years you have worked for ChristCo, you have been in your prime years of fertility and have yet to conceive a child. Since you are married and presumably have been fulfilling your womanly duty to your husband during that time, we are forced to conclude that you have been purchasing and using contraception.

    As is stated clearly in the employee handbook, ChristCo adheres to Godly principles regarding the act of sex and how it must be open to procreation at all times. It is our policy not to allow money paid by us to be used by an employee to suppress her natural and God-given fertility.

    We therefore are deducting your pay retroactively for your entire term of employment by the total of the price of the most common oral contraceptive times the number of months you have been employed here. The deduction comes to $966.24.

    You may appeal this decision if you are prepared to submit to a medical examination, by a professional of our choice, establishing that you or your husband are experiencing fertility problems. Please be advised that because money is fungible, arguments that the funds for your contraceptives came from your husband’s job or any other source will not be entertained.

    Thank you for being on the ChristCo team, and may you have a blessed day in Christ.

    • BearLeft

      Awesome.

    • mailman27

      The Handmaid’s Handbook

  • pgjack

    Good Lord I hate these religious fanatics! I especially hate that it’s always old white men dictating what women can and cannot do. I’m an old white man and I really don’t think I’m qualified to make decisions for most grown women. Now there are some decisions I’m qualified to make for my granddaughters and my wife does give me control of the television remote but other than that I try to keep my decision making to myself. Mr. Price should do the same. I’ve heard that Ivanka is always trying to get Donald to do the right thing, perhaps she should talk to him about this.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    You know, I lost my virginity at the ripe old age of 18 in 1973. From that rather awkward coupling to the present, I have never once had sex for procreative purposes.

    I’m pretty sure I’ve done all right.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      I can second that experience (slightly later start.)

    • Mike Steele

      Lady MS here: Ditto, since 1967. Haven’t cost the taxpayers a dime, and have cheerfully paid to put others’ children through PUBLIC SCHOOLS ever since, so there Tom AND Betsy.

      • diane surette

        Not to mention our MUCH smaller and terminal carbon footprint

  • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

    Can we just hand this moron a pilgrim hat and let him live in the historic Jamestown attraction full time? They can make him mayor and he can wander around randomly pinning scarlet letters on visitors.

    • Grrrr…

      I say it’s time for the country to split — and I predict that at least a few red-staters will find the uniformity and conformity and limitations too oppressive, whereas the blues won’t miss a damn thing about the reds …

  • The Librarian

    True confession: this Price guy is a idiot and his maths stink.

    Also true: I had an abortion in the late 70’s. In college, had one more year left, not in any way ready for a kid. Safe, clean, in a hospital. Paid for with Medi-Cal. Back at school on Monday. My two spawn were wanted and much loved.

    Even more true: No regrets.

    • Grrrr…

      Thank you. I’m so tired of this myths regrets. I never had one (on pill for med reasons) but my best friend did. Similar scenario — summer after soph year, not ready for a kid, no regrets. She doesn’t ever wistfully wonder what “the kid” would’ve been like because it WASN’T a kid, it was a cluster of cells the size of a peanut; it had more in common with a cyst than with a human infant.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Exactly. I’ve never had a single regret. Looking back, I still feel only relief and gratitude that it was an option – as complicated and difficult as my life has been from time to time, it would have been exponentially more awful without my degree, which would have meant a lifetime of lower earnings and greater financial instability and a wellspring of resentment and regret and emotional upheaval. The offspring was wanted, as every child should be.

  • Phoenixdoglover

    Here at 58 East Longitude, a woman can walk into any pharmacy, say the words, “I would like some birth control pills, please”, and walk out 2 minutes later with a 3 month supply, for about $20.

    Muslim country.

    • Grrrr…

      Isn’t a doctor’s prescription required?

      • Phoenixdoglover

        No. Certainly, if you want to be safe, seeing a doctor first is better. That will run you $13 as a co-pay.

    • CrazyDogLady

      Here on the 40th latitude, you can get your boner pills from the pharmacy but still have to go to the doctor for your contraception. Talk about your institutionalised misogyny.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Well, you can’t expect ladies with their ladybrains to make responsible decisions for their ladyparts, can you?

        Seriously, when I first started taking birth control pills, you’d get a 1-year prescription at your yearly exam. At some point, they changed it so that my prescription was only for 6 months and I had to go to the doctor twice a year.

  • phoenix00

    The woo of Jill Stein mixed with the mendacity of Mitch McConnell swirled in with the backwards repression of Mike Huckabee topped off with the punchability of Ted Cruz.

    The model Republican, in other words.

  • Lambsendbeds

    This fringe group of witch doctors that Price belongs to aren’t JUST anti-vaxxers, they’re lunatics. The believe that “shaken baby syndrome” is a vaccine injury that’s been misdiagnosed all along. They should all be stripped of their licenses to “practice medicine”.

  • Tiny kaiju

    Sure you won’t get fired for using birth control, but if you get pregnant, at least in South Dakota, you will just be encouraged to quit your job for being an inconvenience to your employer.

  • glennisw

    I hate these motherfuckers.

Previous articleNational Security Advisor Had Sweaty Phone Sex With Russian Ambassador Maybe. Why Do You Ask?
Next articleYour Official Guide On Hounding Trump Regime Losers EVERYWHERE THEY GO