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It’s trendy to laugh at it, and them, now that they’re pretty much a cover band of themselves, and their stereotypical fanbase is mullet-wearing mouthbreathers, but love it or hate it, we’re all familiar with the absurdly overplayed, iconic, live version of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Freebird*. If you aren’t, FFS, familiarize yourself. Scoff at it if you must, but this is basic Americana that you need to know!

And, even if you are familiar, take another listen. It only takes about 15 minutes. I’ll wait.

Since trying to be fancy and embed the video had less than optimal results, let’s just go with an old fashioned link to the video at YouTube instead.

Yeah. It’s almost like three or four songs, based on a common theme, combined into one, yet still retaining their individual identities. There’s good reason it’s so overplayed: In composition and execution, it’s a true masterpiece.

That’s what today’s recipe is. A complex, nuanced masterpiece. Beef stew is a comfort food, because we all know what to expect, but this one has some surprises for you! It’ll bring back memories of 11 year old you, but it’ll also satisfy the more adventurous palate today’s you has developed. You’re gonna say:

Super Savory Stew? SWEET!

Queued up, ready to ROCK!
Queued up, ready to ROCK!

Intoxication level: Pack a bowl, dude or dudette. You’re gonna want to have the munchies when this comes off the stove!

Time: 15 minutes prep: 3 1/2 hours cooking: 3 3/4 hours total.

Difficulty level: 3/10

Serves 6 – 8

WHAT YOU NEED!

  • 1 -1 1/2 lb cubed beef stew meat

  • 1/2 cup flour

  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt

  • 1/2 teaspoon pepper

  • 1/4 cup olive oil

  • 1 onion, chopped fine (1 cup)

  • 1 carrot, shredded, or chopped fine (1 cup)

  • 1/2 cup finely chopped celery, with a few minced leaves

  • 2 cloves garlic, minced

  • 1 cup red wine

  • 1/2 cup Hoisin sauce

  • 1 can tomatoes (14.5 oz), with juice

  • 1 tablespoon dried parsley

  • 1/4 tsp thyme

  • 1/2 tsp oregano

  • 1/2 tsp basil

  • 2-3 bay leaves

  • 2 cups beef broth

  • 2 medium potatoes, diced

  • 1 1/2 cups chopped green beans

Hardware: Y’know, I think I’m gonna stop listing this part, unless you need something weird or specific. If you can’t figure out that you need a couple of knives and a cutting board to cut things up, and measuring cups and spoons, and whatnot, you should probably just “cook” prepared food products in the microwave.

WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED!

In the mixing booth.
In the mixing booth.
  • Heat oil over medium heat in a large dutch oven.

  • Put flour, salt and pepper in a large ziploc bag.

  • Place meat in bag with the flour and shake until well coated.

  • Shake off meat pieces and add them to the oil and stir until slightly browned

  • Add finely chopped onion,carrot, celery and garlic. Cook, stirring occasionally, until onion is soft and translucent.

  • Add remaining flour from the bag, stir. If needed, add additional olive oil to make a roux.

  • Pour in red wine, hoisin sauce, beef broth, tomatoes and spices.

  • Cover and cook over low heat for 2 1/2 hours (stirring every 15 or so minutes).

  • Add potatoes. Continue cooking another half hour.

  • Add green beans. DO NOT adjust spices. Continue cooking, another half hour.

Serve with crusty bread. And a bottle of good red, or a rich dark beer. Sit down and eat to appreciate. And there’s a lot to appreciate, from the first bite to the last!

That first bite? It’s going to take you by surprise because, like the song, it’s sweet. Sweet enough, and unexpected enough, that you will wonder if you made a mistake somewhere. You didn’t.

It’s rather intriguing. A few more bites in, and it seems much more familiar, with that great umami mouthfeel and the rich flavors of the beef and veggies that you expect from a good stew.

THEN it gets interesting: The sweetness, the beef, the soothing veggies and the awesome umami lay down a solid base over which the spices, the tomatoes and the hoisin sauce alternate between blending and harmonizing, and each taking center stage in turn, reminiscent of the extended jam in the song.

And finally, the finish. Still mimicking the music, it changes yet again. That base of traditional stew flavors returns to front and center, somehow stronger and richer than before, the savory sweetness taking a supporting role now, as a spicy heat comes out of nowhere in a final, unexpected twist sure to please the mouth part of your face.

It’ll never be as wildly popular as Freebird, but I’m betting a lot of you put this on heavy rotation.

* Yes. Yes, I am a fan. Unapologetically. Them mofos could play!

$
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  • Michael R
  • anwisok

    I have no idea why the video and first pic are overlapping. If nobody else has fixed it before then, I’ll look at it when I get home from work.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    One or two teaspoons of sativa?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Tablespoons… Go big or go home… :-)

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Dude.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Would the heat break it down?

  • Jonny On Maui

    Cripes I want this now!

    • janecita

      Me too! I just don’t want to cook it!

  • C4TWOMAN

    Looks yummy. I prefer my stew a bit thicker though, with maybe half the liquid. And a healthy dose of Guinness or any dark stout.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Sorry – lamb chops tonight!…

    • janecita

      I’m a big fan of lamb, I make a mean Moroccan lamb stew,

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, recipe. We have a braised mediterranean leg of lamb we like, but I can never find moroccan recipes I trust.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, recipe. We have a braised mediterranean leg of lamb we like, but I can never find moroccan recipes I trust.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Those spices are hard to find…

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Not near us. We’re in an area that’s a bedroom community for NYC, and there’s been a lot of asian and south asian northerly migration from the city. You could check out Frontier, though, because they’re pretty reasonable and easy to get online.

        • janecita

          It’s a Barefoot Contessa recipe, I’ve made it a lot of times. It is outstanding.
          http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/moroccan-lamb-tagine

          • Carpe Vagenda

            OK, good. She’s reliable.

            I’ve gotten a few recipes online which really disserved me, and now I’m a little leery. The Times, particularly, is awful.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    If I felt like I had to put in a spoonful of cocoa or instant espresso to make it not quite so sweet, would that be wrong?

  • Blacktop Autumn

    So, a crazy TERF threatened me and my job today.

    So I got that anxiety going for me. >.<

    • Jonny On Maui

      Sorry, TERF?

      Terrified Erratic Rat Fartknocker?

      • janecita

        Trans-exclusionary radical feminist.

        • SnarkON

          That’s a thing?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Everything is a thing…

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Even nothing is a thing now.

          • janecita

            I thought they were a myth, but apparently I was wrong.

        • ViveLaPersistence

          I googled it and I’m still not sure I understand. These are women who hate transgender women and want to exclude them from progress made by “feminists” on behalf of women? Lord, I am more sheltered from hatefulness than I ever realized. How do people get through life so blinded by irrational hate?

          • Shan McStroppyPants

            Basically, they don’t accept trans women as women because they were born with a penis or XY chromosomes. They exclude them from “women’s spaces” and treat them as men. Who they also seem to be particularly shitty about.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Wait a second. What? This can’t be happening on anything but a tiny scale in a very backwater place.

          • Shan McStroppyPants

            It’s been going on for decades within the feminist movement.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Oh wow. I guess I’ve missed quite a few meetings.

          • SterWonk

            OT: Why that avatar? Taking a page from @RoguePOTUSStaff and saying “Resistance is not futile?” Or just a fan of Hugh and I, Borg?

            (Also too: bah, @RoguePOTUSStaff has gone private or whatever, and I can’t see them anymore since I don’t have an account.)

          • CindyinEncinitas

            On November 9th I changed my screen name to Resistanceisnotfutile and the next day I changed my avatar to Hugh because it was more efficient and also because I really loved that episode. I was beyond stoked with Rogue POTUS chose him as their avatar also too.

          • SterWonk

            Of course you loved that episode, because anyone who didn’t love it was wrong and bad.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            And we have nothing to say to them and we are not sharing our sammiches.

          • CindyinEncinitas
          • SterWonk

            Bwahahahahahahaha! :-D

    • janecita

      Those women really exist? Is she a coworker?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Yes, they’ve just been run out of most liberal society, so we don’t see them anymore.

        • janecita

          Good, I wouldn’t be kind if I ever met one.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Nope, online, on a Buzzfeed article.. I took today off. She threatened to get me fired because, since I teach science and I clearly don’t know the difference between men and women while I am “abusing” my transboys in our LGBT group by using their preferred pronouns.

        I won’t get fired, but it may look bad internally if this nut raises a stink.

        • SnarkON

          Oh for heaven’s sake. Get off of the Internet! No one is getting you fired, but you WILL drive yourself insane if you engage with these lunatic trolls.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            They have a history of stalking and doxxing transwomen on line, unfortunately.

            That’s what made me take this seriously.

          • SnarkON

            Not trying to downplay the seriousness, and I too suffer from anxiety. But seriously. Just let it go, get on with your life, and really please do consider how much you want to engage with trolls. It is just so not worth it. You can’t win, and it is so bad for anxiety sufferers.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            Yeah, I’ll edge off. Like I said, I took the one step I could to cover up my rear end.

            I don’t often post stuff online outside of here, but goddamn. What I said wasn’t even nasty, and she went right for the throat. It was crazy.

          • SnarkON

            I have no tolerance anymore for people like that. They truly are crazy. I’m so over Internet fighting with psychos. Chin up, Blacktop. You’ll be fine.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            Oh, I know it. :-)

            It’s just not hard to worry about what a crazy person could do with the few email addresses she could gleam from my friend’s list.

            Tonight might be a beer buzz before bed night is all. Hehe.

          • SnarkON

            This is the huge downside of being a lady…the constant fear that some wretched, violent person will harm you.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          As a science person, that sounds like she never graduated high school. Also she needs remedial “How to act like a human being” classes.

        • janecita

          She won’t do anything, she is just a crazy bitch. Buzzfeed is crawling with them.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            I did do the smart thing and emailed my union rep.

            Documentation is important in that regard.

          • Picabo

            Document everything! Screen grabs, pictures of screens. Maybe get a lawyer.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            Nah, a lawyer is out-of-line, but I did grab screens of the threats.

          • SnarkON

            This.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I read that as something something nuts raised in a sink. I was feeling sorry for the nuts when I thought wait…

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          She knows who you are for real? Were you the author of the article or something? Cuz that sounds like doxxing to me.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’m sorry, that’s horrible. Why do they even exist? How dare she. I hope the anxiety gets better. Take care of yourself. Bubble baths and chocolate (if you like chocolate) seem called for.

    • snark-lurker

      wut is a TERF?

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Trans-exclusive Radical Feminist.

        • ahughes798

          Fuck them. You keep being you and don’t let anyone get you down. Some feminists give the rest of us a bad name.

      • Shan McStroppyPants

        They exist in that tiny sliver of the Venn Diagram where Teabaggers and Feminazis overlap to agree that trans women are all just men in dresses who want to do rape all the time because they were born with peens.

        • snark-lurker

          thx

        • snark-lurker

          Trans-exc..etc.etc. i could not figure out & grasp

    • snark-lurker

      anxiety, aye? wut i say next may make you defensive & mebbee angry–it did me when my M.D. handler said it to me–here goes: “You need to develope new coping skills.”
      i thought but did not say, “wut duh fuck? if i could do dad i wouldn’t be here,”

      but him been fixing me up for several years so i decided to give it a shot: i tried, i learned, I developed new coping skills all by myself! my doc knew i could do it but i did not; trusted him & with practice I am now bullet proof

  • memzilla Ω

    On a completely unrelated note: via an art professor friend commenting on Grant Wood’s 1932 painting, Daughters Of Revolution, we now know what Mitch McConnell would look like in drag.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a1ba2c5b242bbea9941e0b70ace6a65f6d64135956dd6c83656afbeefb2b35ef.png

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Would Grant wood if Grant Wood would grant wood?

      • Medusa

        Grant Wood would grant as much wood as Grant Wood could if Grant Wood could grant wood, wouldn’t Grant?

      • shaar dula

        Grand would, Grant definitely would, he’s that kinda guy, always was.

    • Jonny On Maui

      You monster!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh please. Mitch would need a forklift and Dial-A-Prayer to shift his moobs off his knees.

    • Michael R

      Grant would barf .

    • schmannity

      Needz more chin wattles.

  • SnarkON

    Today we are all umami mouthfeel.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Umami mouthfeel seems a bit like tone color.

      • ahughes798

        Yet another great band name!

  • cmd resistor

    So I just read this on CNN: “Gen. Flynn does enjoy the full confidence of the President,” Conway said on MSNBC. She later declined to detail how much the President knew about the issue and when he knew it, deeming those conversation private.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Treasonous, despicable buttwipe Flynn enjoys the full confidence of Donald the Dolt”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Trump is a confidence man all the way.

      • cmd resistor

        Although apparently there are rumblings that Bannon is not pleased.

  • boyblue123

    The Kremlin is just trolling Reuters now

    https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/831076064034189312

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Just another flynn flam man.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yeah, sure. Totally trustworthy source there.

    • Shan McStroppyPants

      I find this difficult to salivate to.

    • ariel_gee_398

      They simply discussed indefinitely suspending the sanctions.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well it’s settled, then.

      Hang them traitors!

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Skynyrd are great! I don’t know why you youngs can’t dig them. Although, yeah, Gary R is the only one of the (total 11 I think?) pre-crash members still playing. It’s all been fairly organic though – axe of my grandfathers and all that. Brother Johnny’s been in place for 30 years!

    Some trivia:

    Ronnie actually got on very well with Neil Young
    Ronnie & Gary were very much fans of Free and the guitar playing of young Paul Kossof, and set out to incorporate that style into an American band.
    A reviewer described Duane Allman’s slide in the Layla coda as sounding like the tears of a bird, which is where they got the idea for Freebird.

  • SnarkON

    Won’t somebody think of the vegetarians? May we have a meatless dish once in a while plz?

    • jowgajen

      Make dish and sub out some TVP for the beef. But eat it tomorrow; that stuff gives me vicious gas if I don’t let it meld overnight.

    • marxalot

      You want my split pea “soup” recipe?

      • SnarkON

        Only if you tell me why “soup” is in quotes first.

        • marxalot

          Because by the time it’s done (when it is perfect) it is basically a solid.
          You can cut it with water or broth if you want.

          • SnarkON

            Please proceed

          • marxalot

            You can do this one of two ways: with fresh garlic and onion (if you’re fancy) or with dried garlic and onion (if you’re not). Theoretically you could also use garlic and onion salt, but I do not encourage that. Use either water or vegetable stock, you’ll need enough to cover the peas. Carrots are a good addition to this recipe, cut into thick coins.
            Wash your split peas. Once all the weird starchy stuff is off them, set them aside to drain a minute. If you’re fancy, toss some finely chopped garlic, onion, and olive oil in the bottom of a nice stockpot. How much depends on the volume of split peas you’re making: when I make a small batch, I use about a soup spoonful of minced garlic and a handful of chopped onion; for a full stockput’s worth of split peas (feeding a hungry family of four), use half a sweet yellow onion and three cloves of garlic. Don’t add salt until the end, it’ll toughen the peas. Heat the garlic and onion until it smells delicious. Stir in a cup of water/stock, wait until it steams, then stir in the peas. Add enough liquid to cover the peas completely, cover, and reduce the heat to a simmer.
            After about 10 minutes, check the liquid absorbtion; add more liquid and stir. Now is a good time to add carrots if you’re so inclined. Put the lid back on.
            Do it again in 10 minutes; stir to see if the peas are ready to render into slurry yet, check to see if there’s still enough liquid to cover. If you’re not fancy, now is when you add the dried onion and garlic. Just toss it on in there. Add pepper.
            Keep it on low heat, adding liquid and stirring occasionally, until the desired consistency has been reached. Add salt to taste at the very end. Scoop into bowls, allow to set and spread over toast, whatever. It’s delicious, nutritious, and will keep you happily alive all winter. If there are leftovers, you can pour it into a jar and slice it up for sandwiches later.

          • SnarkON

            This sounds yummy and I am SO FANCY.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Favorite of Russian hookers.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Gardein makes a “beef” cube thingy that works well for stew, if you don’t mind those kinds of products. I use them to make a veggie stew with potatoes, carrots, and peas. http://live-gardein-try6.pantheonsite.io/products/beefless-tips/

      • SnarkON

        Thanks; I love fake meat. Will check it out.

      • jowgajen

        The porkless bits are ridiculously tasty. And the fish filets have given us easy “fish” tacos as a regular dish in our rotation.

        • ariel_gee_398

          The fish ones are a little too close to the real thing for me. I think it’s the seaweed.

      • Suttree

        Is it better than seitan? I don’t mind veggie food but that stuff sucks.

        • ahughes798

          Nothing is better than satan. Or satin.

        • jowgajen

          Seitan is what you do to it. Which is sometimes weird and gross. Really the only good use for seitan is a fake sliced turkey for a sandwich.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I like to pan fry it with peppers and onions – works with rice or noodles, as a sandwich on its own, or if you’re feeling really indulgent and aren’t vegan, you can make a veggie cheesesteak with it.

        • ariel_gee_398

          It’s much less chewy than seitan, which works a lot better in stew.

        • aureolaborealis

          You just have to know how to make it. Which is another way of saying it’s best if you make it yourself:

          bag of wheat flour + water = dough

          1) knead fuck out of dough until gluten is fully activated.
          2) put dough in cold water bath and knead more fuck out of it, rinsing continually or continuously (your choice). This will seem like it takes forever.
          3) when water runs clear, all starch has been washed out of the gluten, which is ready for cooking.
          4) boil the seitan blob in a broth of your choosing, ideally with lots of soy sauce and garlic and onions and ginger and whatever else makes things taste good to you.
          5) refrigerate and use like tofu. Or cut slices and eat on sandwiches. Or just eat it.

          I used to make this all the time when I was a vegetarian married to a vegan. Then I found out that my childhood celiac diagnosis was still in effect, and might be related to the outbreaks of misery I had every time I made this or fresh baked bread.

          • Suttree

            I’ll have to try that. I admit I only tried seitan once. I generally like vegetarian stuff though.

    • Substitute beef broth for some veggitarian broth maybe? And prolly minus the beef. Voila! Veggitable stew!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Add portobello mushrooms instead of meat?

    • aureolaborealis

      Here:

      1 can of Bush’s Original Baked Beans
      1 can opener
      1 spoon

      Open can of beans.
      (Optional, for traitors: pick out fatty glob of smoked pig belly)
      Spoon beans into face.
      Hotbox your family.

      http://www.bushbeans.com/sites/default/files/styles/product_shelf_can_2x/public/product/602-2902-Can-Original.png?itok=99TLrXnz

      • Shan McStroppyPants

        My mom once worked at a cannery a bajillion years ago where it was her job to lob that blob of fatty goo into the can. Whenever we had beans at home, that thing got slapped into the trash straight off.

        • aureolaborealis

          When we moved out of the first house I lived in as a kid, my mom found all the fatty bits of beef from all the vegetable beef soup she had fed me over the years. I had flicked them over the hutch in the dining room, and, because of their disgusting gooey fattiness, they had stuck to the wall behind it and dried there.

          • Shan McStroppyPants

            Ack!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Bacon is not vegetarian. And Hobo Beans? Rlly?

        • aureolaborealis

          Beans don’t taste as good without bacon. QED.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Agreed, but the question was vegetarian recipes.

          • aureolaborealis

            During my 20+ years as a vegetarian, I once ordered Buddha’s Vegetarian Delight at a Chinese restaurant on a Pacific island (I think it was Kosrae). It came with huge, fatty, wobbling cubes of pork in it. When I asked the waiter why the vegetarian dish had pork in it, he said, “It wouldn’t taste good without it.”
            Also during that period, I had an older African American friend make me vegetarian black-eyed peas, cooked with a big smoked ham hock. “It’s just for flavor! You don’t have to eat any of the pork!”

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            My uncle once came to visit from Boston and we took him to one of the “down home” restaurants here. He ordered a vegetable plate and then complained that it wasn’t vegetarian. It’s not like he didn’t eat meat. He just liked to complain. If he had been a true vegetarian, there were other places that we could have taken him.

          • SterWonk

            One of my regular Chinese restaurants always reminds me that the mapo tofu has pork. I know it does, that’s why I order it! :-)

    • calliecallie

      Italian Beans and Greens (Vegetarian. Not stew, but loaded soup)
      Heat a little olive oil in a pot, add minced garlic (do not burn). Toss in a bunch of baby kale (or spinach, or even cut up romaine lettuce) and wilt it. Add some vegetable stock, a pinch of pepper flakes, a can of rinsed Cannellini beans. Salt and pepper to taste, maybe a little squeeze of lemon juice (optional). Heat through. Serve with crusty bread (or even garlic bread) and a nice glass of wine.
      Enjoy!

      • SnarkON

        That sounds DELISH. Thank you!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Yes, PL, I want to eat your stew.

  • Yr. Gma

    I’m guessing it’s the Hoison sauce that gives it a distinctive flavour (spelling like a Canadian today), but I think I’ll omit the green beans. Trying this one soon.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Is it already spell like a Canadian day, eh?

      • Creepoman

        It’s aboot time!

    • Scrofula

      Eat yer damn vegetables, Gramma.

      • Yr. Gma

        If I don’t, maybe I won’t live to be really old? Too late. (Besides, carrots are vegetables.)

        • Scrofula

          Root veggies don’t count. There are starving kids in Ethiopia!

    • Me not sure

      I spilled a Molson earlier so I’m smelling like a Canadian today, and it smells like freedom.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Stew Meat. My screen name for the alt sites

  • marxalot

    This Sunday was my bi-weekly day in the kitchen, but the rotation didn’t include stew. Probably bc I don’t currently own a cast iron pot. The fridge and freezer are currently stocked, though! Quiche, fried rice, some split peans (mmmmm, it’s basically a solid), and I finished out with double rations of oatmeal and an essay at fettucine carbonara (I like the heavier noodles for that dish).

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Lodge and a few others make great enameled dutch ovens (and they show up at yard sales and eBay). Of course, you can splurge for Julia Child’s “flame” le creuset …

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I make stew in the crockpot.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Split peens? Daaaaaaaaaamn!

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Do not, I repeat, DO NOT googel that.

  • Shan McStroppyPants

    Presuming fresh green beans?

    Also, what kind of canned tomatoes? Crushed, diced, etc.?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I like italian green beans in stew. They seem to survive lots of cooking better.

      • Shan McStroppyPants

        I like the ones with Italian herbs, yeh.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Oh, maybe it’s a regional thing. Around here, when you say italian green beans you mean these. My nonna used to make green bean and potato salad with garlicky vinaigrette with those that was the greatest thing in the world.

    • boyblue123

      The kind of tomatoes you use probably depends how chunky you want the stew

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Pro tip: The best tomatoes are used for whole canned type. The lower quality goes into the crusher. So, if you’ve got the time and inclination, it’s best to always buy whole, and cut them up as appropriate.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I always buy whole. Unless otherwise specified, I hand-crush them before I put them in. Probably should’ve said that in the recipe. DOH!

      • Shan McStroppyPants

        I don’t know what “hand crush” means. I would snap the ends off and cut them in 1/2 or 1/3 pieces.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          It means I . . . crush them? Using my hands? So, they’re no longer “whole” tomatoes? They become “crushed” tomatoes? By crushing them? In my hands?

          • Shan McStroppyPants

            Ok that’s enough info, thanks.

            *wanders off feeling weird about no touching*

          • David Chaillou

            Isn’t there something against that in Leviticus? Sounds inhumane.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Just to be clear kids, it’s the beef that’s cubed, not the 1 1/2 pounds, cause cubing that gives 3.375 lbs, which is too much.

    • theCryptofishist

      I was told there would be no math.

    • SterWonk

      <voice type=”pedantic”>Actually, that would be 3.375 cubic lbs.</voice>

      (Yes, I know that’s not really a thing. Neither are cubic acres, but don’t tell Uncle Scrooge.)

  • ok, you had me at stew but lost me on Freebird. A Masterpiece? Of what?
    blech*.
    However, the stew looks great ^.^

    *your millage may vary. But Freebird ain’t no Ballad of Curtis Loew, k.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      It’s an iconic dog song, though. Pity me, for I cannot love, so I’m going to dump you now. But I want you to know that you were entirely adequate to my short-term needs…

      • Aw shucks. Well, that is ok, for I am a loner, a rebel. And such

        Edit: Just sayin there are so many better songs they did than freebird.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          It’s not their fault. It was the seventies. Dog songs were a definite thing.

          • Roni Resistance Raven

            “Baby, Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me”

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Already Gone
            By the Time I Get to Phoenix

      • ahughes798

        I also like rock songs where they bitch about being rock stars. It must suck horribly.

    • yyyaz

      My house is a Skynyrd-free zone.

      • I like some of their stuff! Like Curtis there. But yeegads Freebird makes my skin want to crawl over my bones, find the radio, and beat it until it breaks. This may have to do with working near Pittsburgh for a whole summer where they played it every. Fucking. Hour.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Stairway to Heaven.

        • Seek

          Hotel California. They played that song every hour if not twice an hour for 9 months when it first came out. I can not and will not listen to it.
          I agree with The Dude on this and I fucking hate the Eagles primarily because of that god damned heinously over rated piece of shit song.

    • Suttree

      Curtis Loew kicks ass!

  • TJ Barke

    Isn’t it a little early for open thread?

    • Sister the Persister

      IT’S NEVER TOO EARLY FOR OPEN THREADING!!! except that I’ve been trying to behave since Our Mom asked us to not mess up the living room when guests are expected.

      • Me not sure

        Just curious, but is it called an open thread because once you start everything begins to unravel?

        • Sister the Persister

          That’s an interesting interpretation!

          • Me not sure

            I did that all by myself.

  • Rick Hill

    So…Flynn may have used encryption to try to hide his conversations with Russia from US authorities. The way the rest of the trump circus has gone was that something like this?
    “OOday otnay orryway about bama-ay anctionsay.”

    • Me not sure

      “Meester Flynn, how is said okay een peeg lateen? Vee are puzzled.”

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    I recommend some tomato paste. Not much, but a tablespoon never goes amiss whether you are cooking with tomatoes in the stew or not.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Also, it’s a dutch oven. After things were browned and ready to go, put in the over at 275 or so. Still should look in and stir. I like to get in the oven so can cleanup the kitchen.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Sofrito or GTFO!

  • Jamoche
    • aureolaborealis

      Welp. We’ll clearly have to round up the Jews, too, then.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I’m a big fan of hardware with a good mouthfeel. Especially mouthfeel involving lots of meat.

    What? Why yes, I am getting lucky tonight! Thanks for asking.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Couldn’t find any Skynyrd, so I substituted Seasons in the Abyss and quadrupled the salt. The Slayer levels were fine, but the stew was a little salty. 7/43. Would not make again.

  • ahughes798

    They had songs that were so much better than Free Bird and that Smell of Death song. The stew sounds really good, I’m intrigued by the addition of hoisin sauce, so much so that I’m going to make this and I don’t like stew!

  • BigRedDog

    I only have sandwich sized ziploc bags.
    WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME I NEEDED A BIG ZIPLOC BAG?!

    • Sister the Persister

      One of my reasons for shopping at The Evil Dollar Store.
      Also: wrapping paper. And cheap ginger snap cookies to dip in cheap vanilla frosting – $2 of pure bliss.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I miss my granma’s beef stew. Which was basically veggie stew with beef added as an afterthought.

    We’d take a slice of cornbread and crumble it in the bowl then ladle the stew on top.

    Also, too; I was nearly thrown out of several music venues because I was THAT guy that yelled “Play some Skynyrd man! Freeeebiiiiiiiird!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!” as the band started their set.

  • TJ Barke
  • exinkwretch

    What monster would put *green fucking beans* in a stew? Green beans are Satan’s smegma!

    • Jamoche

      French cut turns them from appalling lumps of fiber into tender and almost edible. Dumping them into something about 5 generations removed from jambalaya infuses enough flavor that the “almost” becomes “actually”.

      • TJ Barke

        French cut FTW!

        • MynameisBlarney

          FREEDOM CUT! Amirite?

          • TJ Barke

            LIBERTY CABBAGE!

          • MynameisBlarney

            AMERICAN ASPARAGUS!

          • TJ Barke

            ASPERSIONS!

      • Suttree

        What is 5 generations from jambalaya? In a more flavorful way?

    • MynameisBlarney

      BLASPHEMER!

    • Jennifer R

      fresh not canned.

      • exinkwretch

        I can eat fresh ones if I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine and they’ve been cooked like collards to mask the taste.

        • Scrofula

          There’s yer problem. Blister them in hot oil, put the lid on for a second to steam, and yer done.
          Don’t overcook them!

          • calliecallie

            Add garlic also too.

          • Scrofula

            Lemon, pepper, red chili flakes, salt.
            Green beans are great.

          • MynameisBlarney

            And Sofrito!

          • calliecallie

            I don’t know what that is, but I’m in!

          • Resistance Fighter Big Puppy

            Garlic makes almost anything better.

        • Jennifer R

          Meet you halfway and tempura them?

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Steam them and serve them with melted butter and salt. They have to be al dente.

      • Scrofula

        Hey, even cut Del Monte in cans, as long as there’s some salt.

      • shastakoala

        Pickled green beans with a side of Bloody Mary.

        • Jennifer R

          I haven’t had a bloody mary in ages and would really love one.

        • Suttree

          Spicy pickled green beans with Zing Zang!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Greeks.

    • Resistance Fighter Big Puppy

      I was home today watching it blizzard outside and caught an episode of “Worst Cooks in America.” The contestants had to cook two foods they hate. You’d have to cook green beans and something else.

      I’d have to cook brussels sprouts and, oh, anchovies.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Roasted brussels sprouts are so good. I got a box from Blue Apron on Friday and today, the recipe included roasted broccoli. Wasn’t bad.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      My mother puts peas in and they are always mushy. I hated it as a kid and I hate it now. I once made chicken a’la king from scratch for a potluck at my brother’s and he complained because there weren’t any peas in it, like the Stouffer’s boil-n-bag from our childhood. I told him that if he had a can of peas in his pantry, I would gladly add them to his share. Of course, *crickets*. My nephew didn’t like the mushrooms, so his mom had to fish those out for him.
      Lately, I’ve been like my single brother and I bring sodas and condiments.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Formatting problem fixed. Reload the page.

    • Sister the Persister

      That looks better!

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I would make this for the hoisin alone. Intriguing.

    • Sister the Persister

      so I don’t know what hoisin sauce is, nor do I of course stock it, and so I’m wondering what it lends, and are there reasonable substitutes?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        You could use paint thinner, or shoe polish, or melted Twix bars. I’ve heard.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Ooh! A foodie in our midst!

      • jowgajen

        It’s a sweet, thick sauce with a little bit of white pepper spiciness and a touch of anise flavor. It’s delicious and addictive.

      • Scrofula

        Hoisin: “asian” ketchup.
        Too sweet for me. For stew you could prob. sub. a little balsamic vinegar and tomato paste. Some brown sugar if you want that sweetness.
        I’ve never noticed anise in Hoisin, but I have noticed you can use a couple star anise like bay leaves in stews. Just have to fish them out later.

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah I don’t have much use for hoisin sauce myself either. And that reminds me that balsamic style vinegar is fantastic on pizza.

      • Jennifer R

        I know people who always keep it stocked in their kitchen. I do the same, but with fish sauce.

        • Scrofula

          Fish sauce is a necessity.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Fish sauce, gochujang, mushroom-flavored soy sauce, and oyster sauce are all necessities for me.

          • Scrofula

            I’ve branched out dumping fish sauce on all kinds of things, but I still only use oyster sauce for broccoli beef.
            Where else do you use it?

          • Jennifer R

            It gets used as part of the base for fried rice here sometimes.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I use it for various marinades, stir fries, and curries. Sometimes, I use it as a substitute for Worcestershire when I’m too lazy to spin the lazy susan.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I also pour it over fried eggs then sprinkle with some chilies.

          • Scrofula

            Hmm, seems awful thick for eggs.
            I gotta just play around with it, I guess.

          • Jennifer R

            When my roommate worked at a Thai restaurant she learned the secret to a lot of sauces was to use sweet soy sauce.

          • Jennifer R

            Was watching No Reservations and Bourdain showed off people fermenting the fish on sheet metal. Was pretty cool looking.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I read a book on the history of salt (titled Salt! oddly enough) that went into great depths about many ancient sauces. Ketchup was once a fermented fish paste or something.

          • Jennifer R

            Well at one point ketchup has vinegar in it and vinegar is fermented and I can see that being used in place of fermented fish when fish aren’t around.

          • Suttree

            Mark Kurlansky. Cod and The Basque History of the World were also good.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        you should be able to find hoisin sauce at Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods Asian aisle (or any large urban grocery store, really). It’s that thick, purplish sweet sauce that they use too much of in Chinese restaurants.

  • aureolaborealis

    If you’re in the mood for beef stew, may I humbly suggest, also too, Julia Child’s recipe for beef zinfandel. Which is orgasmically good.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Say what? How exactly do you squeeze the beef juice out of the beef? And how do you get it to ferment?

      • Sister the Persister

        centrifugal force.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Barefoot peasants solve both problems.

      • Jennifer R

        If it’s like fish sauce, nail it to sheet metal and cover it in sea salt. Let it sit in the summer run and collect the run off.

      • Nockular cavity

        Go to a planet with higher gravity?

  • Serai 1
    • TJ Barke

      “Truck Fump!” -Robespierre.

    • shaar dula

      lol. rofl. hahahahahaha.
      you guys are too much.

  • exinkwretch

    Seriously, Wonketeers, if you’re a lover of stew and homemade soups get one of those newfangled Instant Pot electric pressure cookers the next time they go on sale on Amazon. They’ll turn out an amazing meal in about an hour with a minimum of fuss. I longer have to wait until the weekend to do a pot of stew or split pea soup.

    • thewalkindude
      • MynameisBlarney

        Holy shit!

      • exinkwretch

        Excellent excuse to get rid of the popcorn ceiling! Seriously, the new ones are safe. Even the newer stovetop ones.

      • The Wanderer

        Sweet Haysoos Marimba! What did you do?!

        • thewalkindude

          OK, I “Kellyanned”- I didn’t really do this-see Sister the Persister above…

          • Sister the Persister

            So you’re sayin’ this is the REAL Bowling Green massacre?

      • calliecallie

        How in the hell? Look at the stove!

      • Sister the Persister

        This one came up in a whole series of bad cooking incidents someone linked to on facebook the other day. This is one of my faves; the atomic pizza is another
        http://www.thefreshloaf.com/files/u2/Atomic-Pizza1.jpg

        • Jennifer R

          Should have used a pizza stone.

        • boyblue123

          pizza vortex

      • BigRedDog

        Whoa.

        It looks like a demon is crawling out of your oven.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Was that you? HAHA- saw this on a cooking disaster memes thing yesterday. I somehow feel worse that it was a Wonker!

        • thewalkindude

          Thanks but not me :)

          • ahughes798

            This happened to my mother when I was a kid and I saw it happen, and I’ve been afraid of pressure cookers ever since.

      • Nockular cavity

        This was a meth cooking disaster, right?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Just a crock pot, in fact. Doesn’t have to be a pressure cooker. They show up at resale shops for a few bucks all the time too, because everyone gets six of them for wedding gifts.

  • Anna Rompage

    Thank you for the recipe! It sounds very lovely!

    We have a little Asian noodle joint up from my house that serves ‘Angus Gravy Noodles’. It’s a lovely fusion between American & Asian style beef stew, and I’m betting that your recipe is quite close to this!

    I’m gonna try it out this weekend!

  • Thiazin Red

    Celery man. Why is it that I can’t buy individual celery ribs? I only ever need one or two, but I’ve got to buy an entire huge head of it. I never use more than that so I end up throwing out the rest of it.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I am like that with everything.
      “No…I don’t want a whole loaf of bread, just 6 slices please.”

      • Thiazin Red

        I’m tempted by those services like Blue Apron that send you the exact right amount. I would like to make recipe X, but I don’t want to buy entire bottles of ingredients I might not find a use for in time.

        Like Marsala wine. I occasionally get a craving for chicken Marsala, which requires about a cup or so. But you can’t drink it by itself (I guess you could, but gross), and there aren’t a ton of other uses for it so the bottle goes bad, and the next time I want it again I need a new bottle.

        • ahughes798

          We use Home Chef. And you’re right, you don’t have to buy whole bottles of expensive spices, or bunches of carrots or celery, to cook your meal. Everything comes with instructions and the correct amounts of everything. You still have to chop and cook everything, so I don’t consider it a laziness thing.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I just looked at Home Chef and the menus look more mainstream than Blue Apron.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I’m trying Blue Apron right now and I like it. I am single and on the 3 meals a week for two plan. The first week was half price. Although some of the recipes I would tweak if I made them again. I think I’m going to skip every other week, because it is a lot of food.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I freeze half the loaf because I go through it so slowly.

    • Anna Rompage

      That’s a bummer they don;t sell celery by individual ribs at your store…

      One a side note, you can put celery into just about everything, or at least I do, and it’s great for reducing blood pressure…

      • Thiazin Red

        But, I also hate celery apart from a few specific uses.

        Sometimes I can find a place with a salad bar that will let me buy a small amount.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      IKR? They really need to make one-person servings of things available. I don’t even need a half-loaf of bread. I don’t need an entire head of cauliflower. And don’t get me started on hot dogs. (I want, like, ONE, about every 9-12 months)

      • Jennifer R

        Cauliflower is awesome.
        You don’t even need to cook it.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I don’t cook it. But consuming an entire head of raw cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, etc – I just can’t. Not in the limited amount of time I have before it goes goopy.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Same for broccoli.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Some grocery stores have a salad bar. I always use them if I need celery or a little onion for a recipe.

      • Thiazin Red

        Most of the places near me have those obnoxious you point and they make it salad bars and won’t do it. If the make it yourself place has celery I use that one, but they don’t most of the time.

    • Sister the Persister

      Try a salad bar, if your grocery has one.

      • Nockular cavity

        Oh, your local Applebee’s has a salad bar!*
        -David Brooks

        *It doesn’t

    • BigRedDog

      Big celery man. They run the whole country.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Grow your own, if you can (it’s fairly easy in most N. American zones). Then you can “cut and come again.” Plus garden celery is AMAZINGLY delicious.

    • notaten

      I only ever use celery for soups or stews, then use the rest of the bunch for Bloody Marys. Win-win!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Good idea.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      My local supermarkets only cell individual carrots and ribs of celery in the “Organic” section.

    • ahughes798

      Wrap it in aluminum foil, it will last longer.

    • Suttree

      That’s why I always keep either blue cheese or ranch dressing around. Yes I consume 7k calories of dressing to a head of celery.

      • Vincent Ricola

        This is basically my diet.

  • BrendaKay

    I don’t twitter, but I do look at feeds sometimes… I just browsed through Justin Trudeau’s feed for the past day and OMG. Everything is positive! Everything in English and French! Everthing is spelled correctly! So depressed right now…

    @JustinTrudeau

    • Rick Hill

      Idk. I never trusted anyone who was too positive….

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        What’s too positive? I’d take that over what we have in a heartbeat.

        • Rick Hill

          Ah, you know what I mean. Usually it’s just a thin veneer covering an inability to deal with reality. Something like that. ‘Course, it’s not as though I know any world leaders, personally…

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Oh, Pollyanna. IDK, I haven’t picked that up off JT.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Wonketters, I love y’all. You get me through these dark days, days where my dog barfs in my car and that’s not even the worst thing that happens. I just need to vent:
    1. Fuckstick von Clownface, for existing
    2. Received bill from hospital for something I already paid for, noticed they received insurance payment and called to say hey, you owe me a refund, and they can’t find the payment and now I have to go to the bank and get a copy of the check and email it to them for proof. (they cashed it on 1/25 but naturally it’s now MY problem to prove it to them.)
    3. waited 3 weeks for glass company to come fix window in truck, glass company calls at 8 a.m. to say they don’t have the glass. I say, you have had 3 weeks to get the glass. they say, Which window is it again? The center one? I say, for fuck’s sake, I’ve told you forty times it’s the driver’s side window, how can you be waiting until the day the service call is scheduled to try to figure this out?
    4. dog vomit
    5. Some genius decided the keyboard on my new laptop/tablet doohickey needed a new layout so they moved the shift key one space to the right. Now when I have to right-shift I keep ending up on the “Page UP” key, which means instead of Capital Letter I get jumped up to the line above and whatever I was going to type winds up there instead, also not capitalized.
    6. Fuckface von Clownstick again, because reasons.
    Vent over. Thanks for listening!

    • calliecallie

      {{{Hugs}}} What a day!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        IKR? I was gonna sleep in today, too. Instead I was up five hours after I went to bed. Grrrrrr

    • Resistance Fighter Big Puppy

      More {{{Hugs}}}!

    • Rick Hill

      What Calliecallie said. Except, side hug because incoming christian theocracy. D’oh. Just added to your list.

    • BigRedDog

      Dogs vomiting is actually polite. We want everyone else to see how delicious our dinner was. Its like complimenting the chef. That’s why we eat it again. Its a dog thing.

      • Resistance Fighter Big Puppy

        True.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’ll try to keep that in mind. If I lived five minutes closer to our vet, she would’ve made it; she barfed as I was pulling onto my street.

      • MynameisBlarney
      • HazooToo

        You’re not nearly around here enough, you must have a second family! I hope they give you milkbones, like we do… sob!

        • BigRedDog

          No second family. Just a job I don’t hate filled with co-workers I don’t despise.

          • HazooToo

            You lucky dog, you.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Oh good, an I can’t even thread. Sister, we are all there. Here’s a group hug, and my story. ((((())))) (that’s the hug)

      I can’t even believe that I just found out, from my daughter, that my husband told her THE DAY HE LEFT ME, that he had been thinking about leaving for at least 5 years, and wasn’t it great that he was so happy now. He said this TO MY DAUGHTER.

      THE DAY HE LEFT.

      Is there an appropriate “with votes” for evil exes?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        OMG. I’ll send him “you evil bastard!” thoughts. In which general direction should they be aimed?

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Chicago Western Suburbs. Label it “B and Sparky” (Sparky’s the Other Woman, because he told me he wanted spark. Everyone in the family calls her that, partially because my son’s girlfriend has the same given name as her. And yes, he told my son how cool it was that they were both dating women with the same name.)

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            You got it, sister. I hope your son gave him a LOOK.

          • ahughes798

            He seems nice!

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            HAH– perfect. Smiley face.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Uh, yeah. Well, look on the bright side. When he realizes that the charge that’s missing is inside him, he’ll be a middle-aged man saddled with children who hate him and an opportunist named “Sparky” with fidelity issues.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Fuckin hell, what a goddamned douchehammer!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        There is a special Hell for evil exes. It’s usually when bad things happen to them and they want sympathy and there is no one to give it to them. Remember that.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Hah- just heard from the offspring. Apparently my MIL was so pissed at him for not showing up for her birthday bc I was there that she’s cut him out of the will LOLOLOLOLOL!

      • Picabo

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0499ad2960ce311af7f2f454dcfddf9b6a13ae075a07ea84df9251ddc88a6834.png 1.Look for your helpers.
        2. This too shall pass.
        3. I wish I lived in Chicagoland and would invite you to join us in the air.
        Signed, Picabo, SIS.

      • Shibusa

        What a douche. Hang in there.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        My great-great-great grandfather, when he was in his 60s, got married to a 26-year-old woman on the same day my great-great grandfather, his son, got married (to a Shelton, a respectable lady). What in the world must that have been like to have your beyond-middle-aged dad sharing the spotlight with you on your wedding day by marrying what I suspect was a gold digger? In the censuses she ends up having, like, 7 last names. And the kids Dad had with Miss Amanda inherited his land and his estate and the kids he had with Rebecca, his first wife, including my great-great grandfather, ended up inheriting nothing. At some point a “scrape” between step brothers ended up in the papers (somebody took a knife to somebody’s face). Texas.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Yeah, this needs to be a novel. (Also- love your avatar!)

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Thanks, yeah, I wish there was more personal information about my ancestors who settled the Collin County, Texas area. They were a rough-and-tumble crowd.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Motherfuckers.

    • shaar dula

      good gawd!

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s better now though. Because you’re here.

    • aureolaborealis

      My super-smart dog once, while waiting in the back of my truck for me, opened the cab window (did I say she was smart?) and climbed through so she could have her very active and wide-ranging diarrhea attack in comfort. For months afterward, I kept antiseptic cleaning wipes in the truck, to wipe off the seat belt buckle tabs, which continued to pick up shit from inside the buckles.
      She no longer walks amongst us, but her spirit lives on in teeth marks on the car-door handles.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b017ccaf7dcc072606f1d3fa187a7f82470fc56cd071231a2f14c780deddbfb9.jpg

      • ahughes798

        Such a pretty girl! Sorry for your loss. And the poop.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but that story actually brought Steve Bannon to my mind.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Sounds like a unique companion and I’m sorry your friend is gone.

    • Ilgattomorte

      Yes, I understand that all of that sucks, but I still love you.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Awww, thanks! Back atcha!

  • theCryptofishist

    I’ve got myself all depressed by an article I couldn’t even read, that was warning of how all the protesting could result in naught, and how we have to build coalitions, and not have too many things we want and blahblahblah.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Sounds like something an old white guy would write.

      • theCryptofishist

        He may evne have been a republican.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I skimmed one that said Reagan had larger protests and they did nothing. I was an adult in the 80s and don’t remember any protest on the scale of the women’s march and I don’t remember weekly protests either (maybe those happened in the 60s but I was a child). I ended feeling like the author was trying some gaslighting and was some Rethug stooge.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      That’s BS.

      • theCryptofishist

        Yeah, I looked at the byline and it was David Fucking Frum.
        Now I’m happy again.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Oh man, this is the sort of thing I never make anymore since I went local and humane on my meat, meaning I can’t afford it now. I may have to rethink this once in a while.

    • Anna Rompage

      1-1/2 pound of humanely raised chuck shouldn’t be too crazy expensive, as it’s one of the cheaper cuts of beef

      • hendenburg2

        hahaha… I mean…

        On top of the additional cost of raising the animal “humanely,” places that carry such products usually have an additional markup for the extra adjectives.

        Also, there’s no real guarantee that the animals were truly raised “humanely.” For example, a year or two ago people found out that Whole Food’s turkey suppliers were no more “humane” than the other ones

        Also we should not be worrying about whether our food is local/organic/humanely raised while there is a double-digits percentage of people worrying about whether they’re even able to afford food.

        • Anna Rompage

          I can get organic grass fed chuck that was raised within 100 miles of where I live down at the locally owned store for $6.99/pound…

          The prime steaks run upwards of $15-$22 pound, but the chuck isn’t so bad, and they even have beef shank for $3.99 pound..

          And it is good to worry about where your food is sourced from. If you buy local, the money is more likely to stay in your local area, where as if you buy from corporate owned big stores that source from out of area corporate farms, your money is vacuumed out of the local economy and makes it more difficult for everyone to survive…

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            We have a lot of small farms near here and almost every neighborhood has a farmer’s market day. It’s so popular that they have started having the markets in parks and subway stations in the city too.

          • hendenburg2

            I’d double check with the farmer’s market organizers to see if they screen vendors. There are a lot of places where a good portion of the vendors just buy from Costco or Sysco.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            The ones here are legit. The ones in town, I’m not sure of. But there are enough food deserts that I’m sure that the people on the train appreciate any fresh food.

          • hendenburg2

            Well, then there is a different problem about buying local – inefficient use of land. Not all types of land are right for growing all types of food, based on rainfall, days of sun, yearly temperature patterns, etc…

            One example might be trying to grow fruits and vegetables in the Midwest or Maine. Because of cold temperatures that start early and end late, to grow enough to supply the local population would require more land, trees/vines/bushes, fuel, fertilizer, etc… than if the supply were grown in a region with a milder climate. Another example would be growing almonds in a state with more rainfall than California. Or perhaps raising animals on land that is not suited for growing crops.

    • shivaskeeper

      If you live where there is FFA or 4H clubs and have the freezer space you can get beef, pork, and lamb pretty cheap. They are humanly raised and slaughtered when the time comes. It’s more of an outlay on the front end paying for the butcher and whatnot, but still way cheaper than retail.

    • Scrofula

      You can always just . . .leave out the meat.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      See if any of the smaller colleges in your area have animal husbandry programs and raise cattle. Berea College in KY has the BEST pork chops I have ever eaten – organically fed pigs and they’re reasonably priced IMO.

      • Scrofula

        Yup–the Meat Lab. Best prices on eggs, too, if you really eat a LOT of eggs.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    HMNMMM STEW!

    You forgot to mention adding a magic cooking stone, that would be really gneiss.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I suspect he took it for granite.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Shale we inquire?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          You can. I don’t really give a schist :)

          • ahughes798

            Be gneiss.

    • Nockular cavity

      Plus a cool beer, to slate your thirst.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I wish I didn’t like bluegrass so much. I can’t find anyone to go to the concerts with me. Aoife O’Donovan is coming here in April with Julian Lage & Chris Eldridge and I hesitate to buy tickets because I don’t really want to go alone but I don’t want to struggle to talk someone into going with me. Fuck. This.

    • TJ Barke

      I’d go.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Well, it’s not until April…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      This will give you a hint of the kind of day I’m having: I almost asked “where do you live, CindyinEncinitas?” I think I’ll go have a pizza and some beers now.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Don’t hurt yourself…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I’d go to pretty much anything – music is music.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I will refrain from posting beiber, one-direction and other assorted horrid types of “music” vidjas.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Well, play anything by her on Youtube. She has the voice of an angel. And the two guys playing with her are art school ubernerd guitar virtuosos. Fuck it. I’m going.

    • theCryptofishist

      Really good music is really good music. Genre doesn’t matter.
      we Americans don’t get that.

    • ahughes798

      I wish I lived closer, I love bluegrass, too. All the kinds of it.

  • hendenburg2

    Ah yes, traditional beef stew with Hoisin sauce. Just like my german grandmother from South Dakota used to make!

    • Scrofula

      Midwest Lutheran Hoisin sauce–Heinz 57?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Which, strangely enough, tastes JUST LIKE Brown Sauce.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Whoa, that’s awfully spicy. How about some cream of celery soup instead?

      • ahughes798

        A1 Sauce or GTFO.

    • Thiazin Red

      That sounds pretty good to me. I can totally see that working.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    You’ve misread your audience, Pink. We’re all hungry for poutine, IYKWIM.

    • snark-lurker

      i donut know wut is poutine : (

      • TJ Barke

        Canadian food.

        • snark-lurker

          ah. canadian.explains all

        • snark-lurker

          you guys talk funny

          • TJ Barke

            I’m not Canadian.

          • snark-lurker

            a sad…for yoo n USA

      • Jennifer R

        french fries, brown gravy, and cheese curds.

        • TJ Barke

          That… sounds pretty good.

          • Jennifer R

            It really is. I enjoyed it when I was in Canada.

          • Anna Rompage

            It’s awesome! Totally amazing comfort food for when the weather is super cold!

          • Jennifer R

            I call it Canadian bacon cheddar ranch fries for the more timid of Americans. That usually sways them over.

          • Anna Rompage

            We’ve got a place in town that serves them with a giant heap of pan fried bacon lardons… OMG, I could eat that every day!

          • Jennifer R

            That sounds amazing, and makes the peanut butter sandwich I had for breakfast sound rather pathetic.

          • snark-lurker

            lardons? LARDons? wtf

          • ahughes798

            Lardons are what the erections of obese males are called.

          • snark-lurker

            ah ha ha LOL did not get that right off

          • CindyinEncinitas

            It sounds disgusting to me for some reason.

          • theCryptofishist

            Like me you have made a connection between poutine and Ted Cruz because of all those jokes here last year.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            And I feel sorry for my arteries as it is. I find fish and chips irresistible, you see.

      • Anna Rompage

        Fries smothered in cheese curds and home made gravy!

    • Shan McStroppyPants

      That always sounds like I should be gay to enjoy it and probably would anyway.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        So, about poutine. Is it whorefood, like puttanesca or amatriciana? It’s just real close to that other word.

        • ahughes798

          It’s not, but I’m sure some whoooers have eaten some.

        • Nockular cavity

          Everyone knows that Canadians are all hoors anyway, so yeah.

          JUST KIDDING, CANADIANOS!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I thought they ate ho cakes. Cuz ho’s gotta eat.

      • Jennifer R

        It’s tasty, you should try it.

        • Shan McStroppyPants

          UH huh

          • Carpe Vagenda

            It’s disco fries with fried cheese sticks mixed in.

          • Jennifer R

            The fries, not homosexuality. Well if you are interested you should try homosexuality too, but you don’t seem interested.

          • Shan McStroppyPants

            Girls kiss nicer than boys so far but that’s all I know. The fries can keep.

          • Jennifer R

            It’s true! You can make logical leaps from there that I can confirm are true.

    • Anna Rompage

      This is the famous Poutine recpie they are serving at Trump’s DC hotel in honor of Trudeu’s visit;

      ~1 pound of Frozen Orida French Fries,
      ~1/4 pound velveeta cheese food product cut into 1/4″ cubes
      ~2/3 cup Heinz Beef Gravy from can

      Bake fries according to instructions on back of package.

      While fries are baking, heat up gravy in microwave.

      When fries are done, place on plate and top with Velveeta cubes & gravy, then serve

      Bon Appetite!

      • MynameisBlarney

        *substitute tater-tots for tiny-fingered would-be dictators*

      • Jennifer R

        An ex roommate of mine used to make “poutine” with frozen fries, a packet of McCormick gravy mix, and bits of whatever white cheese was the cheapest.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        plus foie mince, a live limpet wrapped in gold leaf and coelacanth roe atop a melted absinthe cough drop coulis, $385.

        • Shan McStroppyPants

          Laughing too hard made the upvote difficult

        • Sister the Persister

          absinthe cough drops? Sounds like something I could seriously use…

          • Jennifer R

            Wormwood isn’t actually psychoactive, bohemian kids just couldn’t hold pure alcohol well.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            But it does make the heart grow fonder.

            :D

          • theCryptofishist

            Or it was bad distilleries.

          • Jennifer R

            That as well, why serve pure anything when you can cut it with whatever and no one will know.

          • ahughes798

            Absinthe just tastes like licorice. It’s fascinating to see it being served, though. It turns the colour of a Luna Moth.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah so it’s also a flavor I hate, even less reason to try.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Velveeta? YOU MONSTER!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Umami Mouthfeel is the worst drag name I have ever heard.

  • pussygrabber in chief

    If you haven’t watched last night’s John Oliver, do it. DO IT NOW!

    My favorite part might be when he calls Sean Spicer “Melissa.”

  • Martini Ambassador

    Hoisin in beef stew is an intriguing idea. I will have to try it.

  • Rick Hill

    Quick question. You guys seem like most of you have cats. I found this little bugger in the back yard and, even though he’s not too friendly I want to take care of him and find his people. Any tips on calming an unfamiliar kitty down and what do they eat?https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ef321e28647ad390fbabf7a7e046151a70d8d21cb0f0e185100311dc9ef27ae1.jpg

    • msanthropesmr

      The pointy kitty took my daddy’s key.

    • BigRedDog

      Cats like it when you pull their tails. They also really like baths.

      • Rick Hill

        Tsk. I ain’t stoopid, you know. Cats hate water. They don’t even drink it, just suck the breath out of newborn babies

        • Cock Blockula

          My Irish grandmother actually believed that about cats!

    • Mike Janowski

      Yes. Feed him/her a steady diet of right-wing propaganda, and make sure you look under rocks and up in trees for his mama.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        But don’t feed him/her/it/we/they after midnight!

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Back away slowly. We had a mother possum with babies in the shed we were tearing down. She hissed at us and we decided it was a good time to take a break. She and the babies were gone when we got back.

      • Jennifer R

        I would have taken pictures at least, opossum are adorable when you aren’t up in their space.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          The cell phones and camera were in the house because we were getting dirty deconstructing. Thought about grabbing one too late. I was impressed with the hiss, it sounded fierce.

          • Jennifer R

            The place I used to live in Union City had families of opossums and raccoons living under the laundry hut. Raccoons make quite an interesting noise.

          • marxalot

            Did I ever tell you about the time a raccoon got trapped in the freshman girls’ dorm? Talk about interesting noises.

          • HazooToo

            WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD A RACCOON NOISE?! I LOVE RACCOONS!

      • Serai 1

        One of these little fuckers strolled into my house one evening as bold as brass. I was sitting on my porch reading and I saw it in my peripheral vision. Didn’t react because I thought it was my cat going by. Then I went in the house and there the possum was, hissing at me. I tried to get it to leave but it ran into my closet. Finally had to chase it out with a broom.

        I also had one move into my attic crawlspace. Kept amusing himself by rolling a bottle around up there. I kept having to bang on the ceiling and yell at him, and eventually he moved out.

    • Martini Ambassador

      My cat brought one of those blokes home once, into the kitchen through the cat door. It really did play ‘possum. We took it outside and waited for 15 minutes to see if it was alive and would move. Got tired of waiting, but then it managed to scamper away when we weren’t looking. Tricky bastards.

      • Thiazin Red

        When I was in grad school someone found one in the garbage can in front of the building. It was trash day and we were all worried it would get crushed, so all of the scientists started coming up with increasingly inventive ways to try and entice it out of the can. It played dead for hours. Finally, we just pulled the bag out of the can and dumped it on he ground.

        • MynameisBlarney

          “If we could craft some sort of rudimentary lathe..”

    • HazooToo

      You found a Pokemon! Throw the ball at it! If it doesn’t work, chase it with your bare hands. Those things need lots of love to evolve, and they’re ill-tempered, so don’t be surprised if it’s a little bitey at first.

      • TJ Barke

        Rattata libel!

      • aureolaborealis

        Yes. Hugs most of all. Firm, uncompromising hugs.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Nice possycat. Let me stroke your luxurious fur.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Take kitty back to where you found it and trade it in for one of these.
      http://media3.giphy.com/media/T5wQ1H6gtClt6/giphy.gif

      • aureolaborealis

        I hear they are neurotic assholes.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Do not befriend this creature. It is vicious. I am not kidding. If you feed it, even though you likely live several states away from me, I will hunt you down.

      • Nockular cavity

        The whole appearance of possums simply screams, “I EVOLVED ALONGSIDE FUCKING DINOSAURS, JUST SAYING.”

      • Serai 1

        DO NOT LET STRANGE CREATURES INTO YOUR HOME.

        • data_ninja

          Do not get it wet. Do not feed it after midnight…

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Poor baby looks like it got some fur scraped off. Anywho, they eat *anything*. Cat food, dog food, rabbit food, snails, pretty much anything people eat. Last summer I had a couple who really liked red flame grapes and graham crackers. Eventually, one of them would take a graham cracker from my hand.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • thewalkindude
      • Anna Rompage

        Opossum libelz!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I had a cat just like that named Joe Biden who used to hang out on the porch and eat catfood. So, feed that cat catfood.

    • Serai 1

      Oh, that’s a finicky breed. They like grapes and anchovies and week-old bagels. But they won’t go in the litter box.

    • Creepoman

      The eyes match, but the hands are too big, so it’s not a member of the Trump Klan.

    • aureolaborealis

      I had a cat almost exactly like that in the yard once. It was 1200 pounds, had antlers and was eating willow twigs. You have to be careful that they don’t stomp you to death, especially if their babies are around.

      • Rick Hill

        A Canadian cat…

  • Bill D. Burger

    The gun industry (GOP/NRA/GOA/George Zimmerman…etc.) are hoping soon to end the ban on silencers……….because……~wait for it………..wait for it~………they’re worried about your hearing!
    Bang! Bang! ___You’re deaf.

    [ATLANTA (AP) — They are the stuff of legend, wielded by hit men and by James Bond. For decades, buying a silencer for a firearm has been as difficult as buying a machine gun, requiring a background check that can take close to a year.

    Now, emboldened by the election of Donald Trump as president, the industry has renewed a push in Congress to ease those restrictions, arguing that it’ll help preserve the hearing of gun users.

    “We look at this as a Second Amendment issue. We look at it as a health issue,” said Erich Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America. “The decibel level of a fired gun, even the lowly .22-caliber, can cause hearing damage.”]

    https://www.apnews.com/aa0b713ae11e4065aade281deb4ae1bd/Gun-industry-seeks-to-ease-gov't-restrictions-on-silencers?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=AP_Politics

    • Rick Hill

      When you need to fire off your pistol and can’t be bothered to get your hearing protection. Who makes up this reasoning? Alabama sixth graders?

      • shaar dula

        They are already blind to reality and deaf to reason.

    • TJ Barke

      There’s these things, called ear defenders, and also ear plugs, responsible gun owners use them…

      • msanthropesmr

        See, responsible is nowhere in the Constitution

        • TJ Barke

          Right, what was I thinking?

        • tomamitai

          Yeah, just that first part of the second amendment about a “well regulated militia”, and everybody knows that that just means all white Christian men, so no need for any further laws, Jesus got it handled.

          • marxalot

            White, Xtian, slave-catching property holding men.

        • Serai 1

          Neither is “owner”. It says you can KEEP them, not own them.

      • Rick Hill

        But, responsible gun owners want something that adds weight to the front of their guns so they can aim more properly! Or something….

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Silencers don’t work the way they do in the movies. It’s not a sneeze. It’s a BOOM that sounds like it’s farther away than it is. Dumbasses want to spend upwards of $1000 so their 9mms can sound like .22s, okay by me.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        They have to sell lots of tacticool accessories now that they’ve saturated the gun market for 8 years.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Donald, Jr (Is he Uday or Qsay?) is a big proponent of this.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      Finally, a Republican who is interested in a health issue!

      • Serai 1

        Figures the fix is imaginary.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      One girl in Chicago, when asked how she felt about this, wanted to know that if the guns were silent how would they know when to duck. (I think I may have read that on Wonkette, akshully)

      .

    • Serai 1

      Goes to show how stupid Americans are that they might actually fall for this. SILENCERS DON’T SILENCE GUNS. They don’t even cut the noise tha much.

      • Rags

        But they do make your gun looonger.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Vincent Ricola

      Haha Good.

      • theCryptofishist

        One wonders wtf Chaffetz will make of it.

        Then one realizes that he doesn’t open his own mail.

    • Nockular cavity

      “Fee for being callously dismissed by representative,” lol.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Due on March 1, not even 30 day net. Harsh.

  • msanthropesmr
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Today’s Client from Hell: quibbling over misplaced commas while refusing to provide required financial documents because “that’s busy work.”

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I’ve been having really weird symptoms today and since this happened last week I was wondering if I need a hospital trip so I went on a website for advice and for some reason the doctor is assuming my symptoms are caused by my anxiety. Just like I can tell between an asthma attack and a panic attack, I can tell whether my trembling is because I’m irrationally afraid or my body is screwing up and how do doctors not get that?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Sometimes I get the trembles if I haven’t eaten or haven’t eaten anything sugary. One of those mini candy bars is usually enough.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I ate a strawberry shortcake ice cream bar and half a banana with breakfast because I was so nauseous I wasn’t sure I could get any other carbs down.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
    • theCryptofishist

      Perhaps they work with a lot of people who can’t.

      Or something that less charitable.

    • HazooToo

      Go to a different doctor. Some of them like to assume the patient is wrong if they come in with an idea of what’s wrong. Some use Occram’s Razor too liberally. Some just don’t know what’s wrong, so they claim it’s all in your head. Many still do a good job and will figure this shit out for you.

      • Rags

        Especially if the patient is a woman.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I had a job once that was so stressful I had all the symptoms of a heart attack. Chest tightness, sweating, shooting pains down my arms sometimes and up the left side of my head other times. After I passed both an EKG and a carotid artery ultrasound, I calmed down and was able to cope better. The first step in managing stress is to recognize it for what it is. Maybe you should schedule an EKG just to make sure your heart is fine (presuming you still have some form of insurance). Some symptoms like my shooting arm pain and your trembling can be physical manifestations of depression or anxiety disorder. Take some steps to calm yourself and try to track if that has any effect on your symptoms. I feel for ya, Trump is causing a lot of people extreme anxiety. Take care.

      http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/physical

      http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/physical-signs-you-may-be-depressed/

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/060a49d31093d177ebf4cbd8fb480d6077d26f7c23e9b59fed80212e0b267fa1.jpg
    This is the dog I’ve been complaining about down-thread. She’s actually getting better about riding in the car. We’re down to one barf per ride instead of 4 each way. And, though I almost dare not say it, pooping seems to have . . . passed.

    • Sister the Persister

      I love how the owl on the cushion seems to be eyeing her quite warily.

    • msanthropesmr
    • TJ Barke

      Have you tried benedryl?

      • msanthropesmr

        Yeah but it makes me fall asleep at the wheel, although I don’t care as much about the dog barfing.

    • Truck Fump

      I foster dogs from shelters for rescues. Poor things are so scared sometimes. Good job!

    • marxalot

      My Dummy Dog was a committed (if quiet) car-barfer for a long time, and she’s well old enough for it to be hard-wired, but the 2 days from TX to NV she didn’t boot at all! I was amazed. (And yes, we’d tried everything short of general anaesthetic to get her to settle!)

    • BigRedDog

      This definitely doesn’t work for all dogs but sometimes if they can’t see where they are going they get sicker than if they can see out the window.
      Also, those ears!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I know! the ears – velvet. the spirit – eager to please. My first beagle. I’m kinda in love.

    • notaten

      I used to give my barfing dog Ginger snaps before car rides, which seemed to help, although I still was required to roll the window down for him periodically, so he could stick his big old head out. He was also a sympathy puker who would barf if anyone around him barfed, human, dog, or cat.

  • HogeyeGrex
    • The Wanderer

      I saw what Gorka was wearing on Inauguration Night and I thought, “Who the fuck invited the Hussar?”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re proud of it, too. These motherfuckers need to experience Germany, May 1945.

      • HogeyeGrex

        What they need is to experience it 1938-1943ish, from the side that wore the star patches.
        Even then, I doubt they’d gain any humanity or empathy from it. They’d scream about how unfair it was to put them in a ghetto/camp/oven, but those other folks? Meh, who cares.

  • marxalot

    What stew is it I wanna taste? Why, Memphis Soul Stew, of course!

    • msanthropesmr

      Now beat….
      Well…

  • I Am Helpy
    • I Am Helpy

      why don’t you consistently render tweets Disqus?!?

      https://twitter.com/TechnicallyRon/status/831163429247258624

      • Serai 1

        They look the same to me.

        • I Am Helpy

          When I posted: The first one showed as a link, the second one correctly appeared as an embedded tweet. There was no difference in the link I used.

          After I refreshed page: both incorrectly appear as links.

  • A_Changeling

    I’m going to challenge myself and make this tomorrow (the shops are closed here)! I actually have a lot of the ingredients! My dad specialises in stews, maybe I can learn too. I had to educate myself first, though. So apparently a dutch oven is a pot, and bay leaves are the same as laurel? Is American teaspoon (tsp?) also 5 ml and tablespoon 15 ml? And just out of curiosity, do you have a cup that is exactly “1 cup” and other cups that are not, because that’s kind of funny?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Yep 1 tsp = 5 ml and 1 Tbsp = 15 ml

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Oh and bay is laurel

    • HazooToo

      Dutch oven is heavy pot with lid, and 1 cup = around 240ml

      • Serai 1

        Specifically a cast iron pot. They’re called ovens because they were originally meant to be a mini-oven – put your food in, put it over a fire, and it will bake just like an oven.

        • HazooToo

          Crock pots make me happier. Much easier to work with.

          • A_Changeling

            I think I’ve got what’s needed.

          • Serai 1

            I can’t use a Dutch oven at all, because I can’t lift them. They are WAY too fucking heavy.

    • HazooToo

      Also, a note for the stew. If it comes out too thin, take a small amount of the liquid out and mix a little bit of flour into that. Don’t put the flour directly into the pot, or it will clump. Once the flour is mixed in, add it back to the stew. Let it cook out the raw flour flavor.

  • Scrofula

    Off Stew Topic: So I just did some more techno magic for my parents–you know, fancy iphone screen is blank for days, what’s happening, panic, I hold down power & home buttons to reset, I’m a goddamn wizard!
    Then I realized I too will be an old soon, and I’m gonna have trouble hooking my neuro-interface to the globo-resist-net, and I have no children to show me the VR on button.

    • Shan McStroppyPants

      Nieces or nephews?

      Also, having kids is no guarantee of built in tech support. Mine already just roll their eyes.

      • Scrofula

        I have a niece I talk to, but she’s a quarter Messican, so who knows what the future will hold.

    • weejee

      Maybe you can help this olde. I seem to have misplaced a two bit 16-bit long, far pointer.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Turn it off and turn it back on is always the way. My mom gives me hope. She’s 78 and she has a netbook, an iPhone and a Galaxy tablet. She does most of her surfing on the tablet.

      • Scrofula

        Usually . . . but I’ve seen them break things in ways I didn’t know were possible.

  • I Am Helpy
    • Count Awesome

      Does Ivanka have a thing for Jewish men like Kim Kardashian has a thing for black men?

    • The Wanderer

      I had to run a google search. Holy crap, that’s an actual name.

      • Anna Rompage

        B
        I
        N
        G
        O
        and Bingo was his name-oh!

      • I Am Helpy

        Possibly… the best name?

      • Yr. Gma

        Oh–bingo. Gotcha.

      • Alan

        Probably a nickname for Irving or something.

    • Thiazin Red

      The lead singer of Maroon 5 is what it would look like if gonorrhea took human form.

    • Rags

      Bingo Gooblemann?? These kids today.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • weejee
    • HazooToo

      Not the possessed kind!

    • marxalot

      That’s a jarred mandrake root.

      Hmm, maybe babydrake root.

  • Serai 1

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zJoYNS6XHU

    SHUT UP. I’m NOT crying. YOU’RE crying!

    • MynameisBlarney

      No tears! No tears! YOU’RE THE TEARS!

    • Tallmutha

      It’s super sweet, but GOD am I sick of the look of digital animation. Signed, Funsucker McBuzzstomp.

      • Jennifer R

        Everyone who isn’t the video game industry realized that trying to be photorealistic is a great way to make your product look dated a few months after it comes out.

        • Serai 1

          I would take a WB 2-D any day over this kind of animation. It has so little LIFE in it. Bugs Bunny’s more realistic any day of the week.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah but 2D animation is a finely honed skill that required a fair bit of natural talent to do at the level of Tex Avery or Don Bluth, Someone can draw 3D renders entirely with mathematical formula.

      • Swampgas_Man

        I’ve been doing my own work on CGI at home, and I’ve gotten pretty good at it, but I’m not ready to try animation.

    • MynameisBlarney
  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • Markuserektus

      Obligatory: We did nazi see that coming…

      • Rags

        I was Goering to say that.

    • weejee

      Der leader ist hosened.

  • Markuserektus

    Still waiting for the flambe’d duck testicles infused with jalapenos recipe…

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Jesus. I just realized Trump is serving people who pay $550 a day to be members of his “club” iceberg lettuce.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Mad Men made wedge salad cool again.

    • Alan

      Goes well with the meat loaf and creamed corn.

      • Markuserektus

        Oddly, meatloaf is supposedly one of Donnie’s favorite foods. He eats it as a sandwich.

        • Alan

          Why does that not surprise me? With miracle whip and Kraft singles?

        • Swampgas_Man

          Putz probably serves it with gravy instead of ketchup as Gawd intended.

        • The Wanderer

          I eat meatloaf sammiches. Leftover meatloaf is one of God’s perfect foods.

          • Shan McStroppyPants

            I don’t make it any more. My X loved it. And fried chicken. And fried everything. I threw the fryer in the trash after he moved out.

    • medcannabis1

      early bird specials…. quite common in Trumpland

    • Thiazin Red

      Trump, proving once and forever that money can’t buy class.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I don’t feed my rabbits iceberg lettuce and they’re rabbits. The female would probably chuck her bowl out of the cage with a *get this shit out of here* grunt.

      #CoastalElitistRabbits

  • Truck Fump
    • I Am Helpy
      • MynameisBlarney

        TBogg is fuckin hilarious.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          He is. And so very impatient with bullshit.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I vote Douchebag McFisted.

      • SnarkON

        In all seriousness I’m not super fond of the vulgarities. It’s fine on Wonkette but when set loose in the wild, all the naughty words distract the conservatives away from the real issues.

    • Suttree

      These fucks need to be screamed at that they are liars, every time they open their holes on TV.

    • Serai 1

      I just love it when someone jumps up to yell THAT’S NOT ME when nobody is talking about them.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Those weren’t even the best comments.

  • medcannabis1

    inquiring minds want to know if the Russian plant comes with a wedding ring?

  • Me not sure

    I just saw that the wife and step-son of KKK leader Frank Ancona, whose body was found floating in a Missouri river, have been charged in the case. The son shot him once in the head and the two of them threw him in the river “allegedly”. If I were on the jury it wouldn’t take much to get an acquittal vote from me, but I’m biased.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I’m guessing the defense will claim domestic abuse and the jury won’t care because patriarchy.

      • Jennifer R

        All his guns were missing and the wife started looking for a new roommate immediately. This was pre-meditated for money.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Oh wow, so the racism didn’t bother her then?

          • Jennifer R

            Neither her nor her son (his stepson).

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Sure. To be fair, I didn’t say there was domestic abuse (I don’t know), just that the defense will go there, and that it won’t help that much regardless.

      • Me not sure

        If I were the defense I would use the “we didn’t think anyone would mind” defense.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Shoot him in the head or the heart? Hard to choose. Was either one functional?

      • Me not sure

        Head shots are the tradition at St. Valentines Day. The heart is ceremonially spared.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You sure about that? She married him. I’m gonna guess he didn’t pretend to be a SNAG before that happened.

      • Me not sure

        Under oath all she would need to say to me is “mistakes were made” followed by “Jesus told me we could stand our ground”.

      • puredog

        Upfist for SNAG.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Depends on the motive.
      Did they kill him because he was too racist? Or not racist enough?

      • aureolaborealis

        This was my question. Was he stepping back from previous positions?

      • Jennifer R

        All of his guns besides the pistol he had a CCW were missing. I am calling they wanted that sweet 4 figure payday.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Could’ve been for money. Them sheets sell great on Ebay.

      • Me not sure

        The proverbial ballistic divorce.

    • Serai 1

      Gotta love those good ol’ Christian family values!

      • Me not sure

        He claimed to represent a kinder, gentler Klan. The Kind Klux Klan?… Nah!

  • HazooToo
    • Thiazin Red

      Its refreshing when one of them just comes out and says what they all think, that they just don’t really consider women people.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Yeah, well usually when they slip up like that the Hive Mind either punishes or consumes them.

    • Serai 1

      Okay, FINE. How about you MEN just take over the baby-having duties? There are places in a male body where an embryo could be implanted. YOU do it, and then YOU can experience all the lovely sacredness – especially the part where you get told NO if you decide you don’t want to go through with it.

      I look forward to the equanimity and endurance you’ll display when it’s time to get that thing out of you.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Has it come to assbabies?

        • Serai 1

          Fine by me. Let THEM try to shit a watermelon, then we’ll see what kind of men they are.

          • Alan

            My favorite analogy is squeezing a watermelon through a pringles can.

          • Serai 1

            Yeah, but that doesn’t make you scream with pain. These fuckers would be whining the first time they had morning sickness. No WAY they’d make it through even two minutes of labor.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Mine did, it was fucking excruciating.
            The broken collar bone and torn ligaments were worse though.

          • Serai 1

            Pushing a watermelon though a Pringles can made you scream with pain?

          • marxalot

            Give them all kidney stones, and no anaesthetic. Then, when they’ve passed, smile and say “you get to take care of this the rest of your life!”
            Or mop them up off the floor where they’ve dissolved into a puddle of tears, piss, and shame.

          • Jennifer R

            I had a kidney stone once, I don’t recommend.

          • Shan McStroppyPants

            From what I’ve heard that’s like, I’d rather give birth.

          • MynameisBlarney

            GOAWDZ! I did too.
            Felt like I was pissin razor wire.

          • Jennifer R

            Mine lodged in my kidney and blocked it, so they had to go in for it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Fuuuuuuuck!
            Mine never got stuck thank goawd, but I could damn sure feel it as it made its way out.

          • Jennifer R

            I found out about it when it blocked the kidney totally and it started back filling. Sometime between getting to the ER and them figuring out what it was and talking about surgery it shifted and the kidney drained, but they ended up performing lithotripsy a couple weeks later when it didn’t break up and leave.

          • Alan

            I’ll pass thank you.

          • Sister the Persister

            ISWYDT

          • Yr. Gma

            I have been told there are similarities between kidney stone pain and labor, but I only know labor, and it hurts in MANY PLACES AT ONCE. There’s no way we could ever convey that to those with no uteri. It’s not the squeezing out part that hurts the most, it’s the pushing out part.

          • The Wanderer

            I had a kidney stone (left), and the pain radiated to my knees. It was strong enough to make me vomit.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            During my labor, I was nauseous and I had diarrhea. And the anesthesiologist on duty was busy with a GSW in the ER and I almost didn’t get my spinal.

          • Shan McStroppyPants

            Me, it was the cervix dilating part of the labor but that didn’t last long. The worst part was getting stitched up after #1.

            I threw up once the first time during transition but was perfectly ok after and didn’t need any drugs.

            The cervix pain felt like intense cramping which the best I can explain to dudes is how it feels when you have stomach cramps and have to go have crazy emergency shits all of a sudden. Except it not over in 15 minutes. It could be 15 hours.

          • Serai 1

            How do you describe a sensation that takes place in a body part that doesn’t exist in the person you’re trying to describe it to?

          • Yr. Gma

            Good point.

          • Serai 1

            I came up with “Imagine someone grabbing your balls and squeezing them really hard. Now sink that into the middle of your abdomen and keep it going for three days.” That usually gets their sympathy.

        • For these “people”, fuck yes

        • Alan

          Those are called republicans.

        • Tallmutha

          Butt babies don’t live!

          (Was that a phrase associated with somebody or something? For some reason it just sprang to mind and I don’t know why!)

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Not that I’m aware of, but I’m not really very hardcore.

      • Thiazin Red

        Or just require that they carry kidney stones to term. No breaking it up or blasting that thing with lasers for you Mr. Anti-Choice. You keep that thing in there till it comes out naturally. And then you can get pressured by society to pass it without pain medication.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Star Trek did it on the Enterprise series:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0VqZtRAvAw

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        Nope. Not if meant saving your entire species. I like you guys, but there are limits.

        • Serai 1

          Are you some other species than human?

          • HazooToo

            Hellooooo, you are talking to a UNICORN.

          • Serai 1

            No, a unicorn was talking to ME. I did not direct my original comment at any horned horses.

          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            Whenever I can get away with it, yes.

    • Alan

      He seems charming.

    • Shan McStroppyPants

      How about we get to harvest YOUR organs to keep random “people” alive, asshole?

    • Anna Rompage

      It’s fuckers like these where if they could get pregnant, would be demanding that there be a Buffalo Wild Wings abortion plex on every corner!

      • Anna Rompage

        Um, I think you got my order mixed up, I ordered the wings, and not the abortion plex sampler plate…

      • Thiazin Red

        I could go for some chicken wings right now. It so weird having grown up in upstate NY that there are places where you can’t get pizza and wings at the same place.

        • MynameisBlarney

          That’s un-American!

        • puredog

          All the online Trudeau love sent me out for an order of poutine (no lie). Imma send the bill for the bariatric surgery to Wonkette.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      “That’s where I’m at…” What a moron. Typical redneck turd. Fuck him.

    • Dear Oklahoma: Stop trying to compete with Texas and Florida for “dumbest lawmakers.” They have way too big a head start.

  • Warned_and_Persistent

    I just found that pulling up a KAC interview on youtube while chopping veggies adds mucho gusto to a usually tedious task.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Mind the fingers though.

    • Alan

      Knives are bad for computer screens.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I watched the Sam Bee on KaC and it actually made me laff.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, between Bull, Pure Genius and now APB we have three shows where the “system” is broken and a rich douchebag has to step in and “fix” things.

    Is this an attempt to pander to the Trumpkin worldview?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Nah. Laziness on the part of the networks. And none of them look that good either.

    • Jack Tenhet

      I get particularly annoyed at the premise of APB. The fact that some writer thought it would be a great idea to take a dystopic trope, a billionaire/corporation/company taking control of a civil agency, is insanely disturbing. It’s like making Weyland/Yutani the good guys in the Alien franchise or more appropriately, making the corporate shill in Robocop’s New Detroit the hero. It’s lazy and infuriating.

      • On the other hand, we could end up with Death Race for entertainment…

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGOI1v-WXIM

      • SayItWithOtters

        Yeah, “libertarian billionaire tech-bro outfits state security apparatchiks with best toys money can buy and wins their undying loyalty” just isn’t something I could stomach right now.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        FWIW, it’s based on a guy in New Orleans who paid for extra private security to patrol a few blocks of the French Quarter for a few months. IIRC, somebody else is footing the bill now.

    • Jamoche

      Every time I saw the promo for Pure Genius I wondered if it was “inspired” by Theranos – another Silicon Valley know-it-all who actually didn’t – especially since Theranos was in mid-implosion when the show launched.

  • Persistent Demme

    Sent it to trix, but had to share:
    Scott “loser” Baio invoked the holocaust!!
    (Of course, it’s just like that time when Nordstrom cancelled Ivanka’s line of schmattas!)
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/02/never-again-scott-baio-steals-anti-holocaust-slogan-to-attack-nordstrom-for-dropping-ivanka-trump/

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      That’s a low blow, Bob Loblaw!

    • veska

      What A Idiot.

    • Scrofula

      The fuck do you spend $30k in a year at Nordstrom? How many clothes do you need?

      • puredog

        Well, half a dozen very nice suits from Nordie’s, tailored, would get you up over ten K pretty fast.

        • Scrofula

          Scott Baio needs 18 nice suits a year to beg Cult 45 to remember he’s still around.

    • Yr. Gma

      Well, damn. I guess I can stop hanging out at Nordstrom’s in hopes of a Scott Baio sighting.

    • Serai 1

      Oh well, no Chachi for them! I’m sure they’re crying in their beers over the terrible misfortune.

  • Suse

    Sounds like Hair Furor is saying a big Fuck You to California, probably because his buddy Milo was disrespected. http://occupydemocrats.com/2017/02/13/california-asked-trump-federal-disaster-aid-response-shocking/

    • Count Awesome

      California says “Fuck you!” back.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Nope, not revenge. Incompetence. They still haven’t gotten all of the aid requested to MS, LA and GA. Allegedly, Flynn didn’t know how to implement.

    • Jamoche

      Header says it’s “shocking”. Dunno about you, but I’m not shocked. Donnie only likes states that don’t flood.

      • Suse

        I’m not shocked at all.

      • puredog

        Header is pure clickbait. Donnie’s “response” is that he hasn’t responded. Not shocked here.

    • Scrofula

      Couple things: first, the dam hasn’t busted completely. So it’s not like there’s dead people floating around Yuba City (more than usual, anyway).
      If there’s a big delay in getting roads repaired cause there’s no fed money, I”d love to see these red voters get angry at Trump, but I’m afraid they’d still blame it on “Bay Area Elitists” as usual.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        There are thousands of people in shelters. Brown had to call out the National Guard. It’s a mess gonna get messier.

  • Vienna Woods

    Dear lord. My grade 10 students could have done a better job on a rewrite than this.

    https://twitter.com/ZekeJMiller/status/831266665660837888

    • Count Awesome

      Proofread by DeVos for both spelling and conciseness no doubt.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Dayum they sux as writers. Doesn’t anyone proof read?

      • Vienna Woods

        I’m itching to resurrect my marking pen… rarely red, always colourful!

    • The Wanderer

      Sweet Three-Toed Sloth of Ice Planet Hoth. I could write better than that while drunk.

    • Sophia

      Okay first there is the two, too, to problem. Now we have the there, their, they’re problem. English, it’s tough

    • Serai 1

      Love how he hides behind “typo”. No, it wasn’t a typo. It was you being too fucking ignorant to know how to spell at a fifth-grade level.

      • Count Awesome

        Why not just blame autocorrect.

      • Jennifer R

        Can he not see the wavy line under his poor spelling?

        • yyyaz

          Thinks it means “bigly good!”

  • Tallmutha

    How about some stewed moonbeams with wavy gravy?

    https://youtu.be/CvO3kmKfauM

  • Sophia

    Remember last week when Trump had that Sheriff’s meeting and Asset Forfeiture was discussed. Apparently he may not understand what Asset Forfeiture is.

    Trump Has No Idea What Asset Forfeiture Is

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/dispatches/2017/02/13/trump-no-idea-asset-forfeiture/

    • Suse

      That’s because he’s A Idiot.

      • Alan

        Well yeah that.

    • Yr. Gma

      I am shocked. (Well, no.)

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      . . .Defense surplus material that helps us in our war.

      Fuck that fucking fascist asshole. Who is he at war with?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Us.

    • MynameisBlarney

      He thought it was akin to Pussy Grabbing, I’m sure.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I’m pretty sure he’s also one of those people who think the ACA and Obamacare are different things.

    • Alan

      What a fucking idiot. He actually thinks that asset forfeiture means you get to take the drugs? Dog help us.

      • Rick Hill

        And he’s totes cool with the cops having parties. Just like the wealthy do. In Manhattan. *cough*

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Which is surprising enough . . . but what did he think the cops did with it after it was seized? The mind boggles.

      • Sophia

        Sadly what made me giggle was the fact that he thought they were trying to stop the cops from seizing the drugs.

        THE PRESIDENT: So what do you do? So in other words, they have a huge stash of drugs. So in the old days, you take it. Now we’re criticized if we take it. So who gets it? What happens to it? Tell them to keep it?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i do remember him basically asking for a clarification, but it was kinda clear he didn’t know the whole story – “taking stuff from bad guys” is a pretty close paraphrase of what he said. You can look at the transcript.

    • Weevie

      Aubrey knew that. Everyone in the room knew that. Nothing Trump said made any sense, nor did he promise anything new. They all knew that, too. Who will be the first to say so?

      Anyway, this is about stew. :)

    • georgiaburning

      Get his tax returns examined and he may get a chance to learn

    • marxalot

      Something something thought it was ass forfeiture something I wanna go home.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      To be fair, he understands it about as well as these fucking sheriffs understand search and seizure law.

    • Rick Hill

      Oh, yeah. I’m sure the cops miss taking money and property from “drug dealers” and other “bad people”. Own self had an involvement with the law types that would never have happened had it not been for the police’s ability to take anything they could find and tie it to “bad stuff”. Cops got nothing in the end but cost us $8k and a good name

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Rogue POTUS Staff just tweeted

    "This guy is an idiot. He has no idea what he's doing." Overheard by Trudeau to Freeland.— Rogue POTUS Staff (@RoguePOTUSStaff) February 13, 2017

  • Ryan Denniston

    OT: in helping a student do research today, I discovered I was in grad school at the same time Richard Spencer was (same school, different department) and Stephen Miller (undergrad). Talk about a zoinks! moment. Apparently, they knew each other.

    http://www.dukechronicle.com/article/2017/01/very-young-person-in-the-white-house-on-a-power-trip

    http://www.dukechronicle.com/article/2007/03/immigration-authors-debate-border-issues

  • Jack Tenhet

    Okay, so I was talking to a friend of mine who lived in Russia ten years or so ago. We started talking about politics and this is what came up. My friend said that Putin had an aid of sorts who was in theater and that what happened under Putin was that Russia began engaging in what he called “Political theater”. Basically making everything one huge, gaudy show with not an ounce of reality in it at all.

    Think about this for a second. Putin organized a huge, gauche orchestral performance outside the ruins of the capitol palace in Damascus, Syria as political theater to say that Russian forces were leaving Syria.

    They never left. They are still there.

    My friend goes on to say that Putin inserted himself in everything from television to literature all to distort reality with outrageous falsehoods that kept morphing on a daily basis until the people resigned. The end result is that the Russian people now believe there is no reality at all. Reality is whatever Putin says it is whenever he says it. Sound familiar?

    Cult 45* is employing this same strategy of political theater. What he is engaging in, whether by his own design or by other’s prodding, is a continual distortion of reality. He morphs the truth like “The Thing” (John Carpenter’s remake) and in that way shapes reality until it’s so misshapen that it ceases to be recognizable as anything at all. It just becomes a pulsating hodgepodge of lies intent of making us throw up our hands and quit. I have read many journalists write how hard it is to cover this man in any traditional sense and this is exactly the reason why it is so hard. Everything he says or does defies journalism because he throws around “alternative facts” with nothing short of conceit. It’s a drug that keeps us in a state of constant anxiety and uncertainty. It’s the Putin strategy and it could work if we’re not careful.

    • hendenburg2

      Hahaha, that kinda reminds me of the driver that me and my friends had to the Women’s March. Also a Russian expat talking about how Putin was a criminal.

      • Jack Tenhet

        He is a criminal. Putin actually funds opposition parties for the “illusion” of protest. He simultaneously backs communist-anti facist groups AND pro-facist groups to keep liberal Russian groups from getting any power. Liberal groups try to do anything in Russia, they either get attacked by Russian Nazis, hard-line Marxists or sometimes both at once.

        It’s always the liberals who get jailed in these clashes, of course.

        • marxalot

          That, btw, is directly out of Stalin’s playbook for international destabilization. CF the COMINTERN and the collapse of the Popular and International Fronts, “social fascists” and the Spanish Civil War.

    • Scrofula

      “Cult 45”, I like that.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Came up with it yesterday. Been that kind of week.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The thing is, though, that Putin doesn’t have embarassing public tantrums.

      • Jack Tenhet

        That is very true. Putin is at least controlled, skillful and a bit devious in what he says and when he says it. He was KGB trained, afterall. 45* is a lot less restrained, obviously. I mean, he’s less restrained than W. W didn’t hold a damned security meeting in the elementary classroom on 9/11 ffs!

        I also never wanted to see a selfie of the guy who carries the “football”. It’s embarrassing.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Is it even legal?

          • Jack Tenhet

            I don’t think so. I mean, I never wanted to know the guy’s name or what he looked like. It’s insanely dangerous to but that guy in the spotlight.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I’m guessing that came about with, “Hey, you. What’s yer name again? Come over here and let him get a picture with you, ok?” What’s the guy gonna do?

          • puredog

            In any sane Administration, he would smile and say politely “I’m sorry, sir, I cannot do that,” and would have no fear of reprisal.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      But only his core base is buying it and his approval ratings are falling. Yeah, I don’t think it’ll be as effective here. 45 and his toadies aren’t that good and if we keep the protests going, the Congress Critters will get nervous.

      • Jonny On Maui

        We gotta keep protesting until the folk that own the Congress Critters get nervous…

        • Jack Tenhet

          Yeah, hit them in the banks. They banks know people don’t spend money or take out long term loans under this kind of continued stress and uncertainty. Uncertainty is deadly to the markets and anxiety doesn’t drive up anything but Xanax prescriptions and booze stocks.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          As the BLM activists I know say, keep the protests as diverse as possible too. When the black protesters were getting hassled, they call out “hey, white people” and miraculously, the cops backed off. That may not last, but the cameras help too.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Diversity is always a great thing. People are racist and when white people see a group of black people protesting, we get jumpy because pretty much every white person has had the “angry black” person rubbish drilled into our brains. I’m sorry about that, but it’s reality. The good ones of us do try very hard to break out of that crap.

            People are also more receptive to protests when they can look at someone and say “that could me me/my son/daughter/mother. It’s harder to dehumanize when you first empathize.

            Can’t stress enough how important cameras and even social media are. Use technology for the greater good.

      • Jack Tenhet

        That’s also true. These are different circumstances in that we have an actual system already in place to deal with autocrats. Maybe the thin veneer of “reality” TV has dulled enough in the harsh light of politics that more people will start to see what he is doing.

        Even Scarborough was shocked today. He even invoked “The Federalist Papers”. So yeah, his base is already small and it may be shrinking.

        • Sophia

          Scarborough will be back kissing his ass tomorrow.

        • Serai 1

          These are different circumstances in that we have an actual system already in place to deal with autocrats.

          Tthe fact that we have that system means nothing if nobody implements it.

          • Jack Tenhet

            That’s what’s pissing me off. We can all see the trains coming. We protest. We have been saying for some time now that it was going to be like this and our “leaders” don’t listen. We’re either “paid protestors” or “not constituents”. We’ll just have to drain the swamp in 2018 ourselves, with votes.

          • Serai 1

            Nope. No waiting. There are elections THIS YEAR. The GOP took over the country not by winning the White House, but by slowly winning tiny little local elections – school boards, city councils – then bigger and bigger. It’s taken them FORTY YEARS to pull this off, while we’ve been patting ourselves on the back for winning the big splashy ones. And there’s redlining to deal with. Don’t make the mistake of thinking we can fix this with one election. It’ll take decades to get us back to where we were, if we ever even get there.

            There are no quick fixes. This is a fight we’ll be fighting for the rest of our lives.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Sadly, you’re right. In less than a month, they have set American progress back four decades and we may never fully recover in our lifetimes. Fortunately, people like us see beyond what can immediately benefit us and I’d like to think we still hold some hope for future generations to carry on once we are long gone. That is fundamentally what separates us from the cynical and greedy. We do not fight for self-interest, we fight for the future. We are the last best hope for those yet unborn and we can’t lose hope.

            We must all fight THIS YEAR and in every election in every corner of this country. It is up to we, the people, to hold those who have failed us right now to account. We are fighting for the very soul of this great experiment that is America. We fight so that a hundred years from now, something remains of freedom.

            I fight because of this. I have nieces and nephews that deserve to live in a free society. I am also very biased because I don’t trust Putin and never have. That was how I was raised and nothing is telling me that is the wrong way to think. We are not Putin’s Russia, regardless of what our current administration thinks. No American president is above questioning or even simple doubt. That we are being told otherwise is an indictment against the very freedom that Americans are currently dying to preserve. That we are being told that presidential power is without question should be viewed with disgust.

            The damage this entire party has done to this nation will take a generation, at best, to heal. I certainly hope they’re pleased with their moment in the sun. I hope their bellies are full with the sacrificial blood of democracy. I hope whatever petty little revenge power-trip their on right now somehow pleases them. I also hope there is a hell and that somehow they will be held to account for this evil.

          • Serai 1

            We all gotta lean together and support each other in the fight, and raise the kids to keep fighting. No more illusions. Time for guerilla mode.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6e9579eb94ef03ff1c761f3790c367c98ded751120f0ad6d23ba32545603861c.jpg

        • puredog

          Well, Joe was revolted by Steve Miller, kind of an unavoidable reaction to that particular messenger. He will likely continue to lick Trump’s taint, though he might mutter “shouldn’t’a hired that Miller guy.”

          • Jack Tenhet

            Yeah, he did really sugarcoat any connection Miller really had to 45*. He seems to think that firing Miller will solve anything. He doesn’t get that Miller was towing this administration’s line.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Yup. Leadership begins at the top. If we don’t get rid of Trump, nothing will change. Then again, if we get rid of Trump, we get Spence and I’d almost prefer Spence.

      • Shibusa

        I have a couple of friends who are absolutely die-hard in their devotion to 45. (One voted for BHO–twice!) The aggressively willful ignorance that it takes to be a fan of the guy at this point is breathtaking. They must get their heavily filtered and propagandized “news” only from Fox & Breitbart at this point.

    • Serai 1

      Sounds like it’s time for the news media to stop paying attention to anything he says, and start doing their jobs reporting on what he DOES.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Well, they were told by KaC not to pay attention to his words. They should maybe take her advice.

      • SnarkON

        Say, here’s a fledgling news organization that is doing just that, for realz: https://dcreport.org

  • chimpevil

    Oh look Creepy Miller is having a press conference.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NUiSAo_ie0

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

    This sounded really tasty, but without the hardware I was at a bit of a loss. I used a colander to cook with and the end result was a litlle dry for my tastes. 1.3 out of 10.

  • Yr. Gma

    Pinks, my love, did you peel the potatoes first?

    • Scrofula

      I’d peel russets for stew;
      red potatoes might hold up better.

      And eat yer damn veggies.

      • Yr. Gma

        *rasberries*

      • snark-lurker

        and take your damn pants off

    • Skeptical_thinker

      I wash and carefully cut out bad spots. Peeling removes the goodness.

      • Yr. Gma

        I like potato skins, but in a stew with cut up chunks, I’m afraid they will cook off and be just like little flaps of cardboard floating aimlessly in the gravy. In the picture, they do look to be peeled.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I did. I pretty much always do, except for baked or roasted.

  • Picabo

    Good news, bad news. First the good news. I received my CISCO Networking Certificate today and updated my resume. The first of four semesters began with 25 students. We finished with five students. CISCO Networking Academy will kick your a**, to say the least.

    Bad news is that I realized that I posted in earlier threads references to “Get Smart” and “F-Troop” to the current administration. Let that sink in. Comedies about ineptitude that are playing out at the highest levels of our government. F***ing F-Troop! That’s where we are.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And I’d totally forgotten, but there wasn’t a single conical thing about the Cone of Silence… Part of the joke, I suppose, for the geeky ones

      • Picabo

        Math is hard. Geometry is harder. QED.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          …Latin is hardest.

          • Picabo

            Latin killed the Romans, and now it is killing me. Said by all Latin students in high school.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Congrats on your CISCO certificate! I know a couple people who have made a very good life for themselves networking.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, as George Takei says, my.

    Senators in both parties have viewed an episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” in which Labor Secretary nominee Andrew Puzder’s former wife leveled allegations of physical abuse against him, according to sources familiar with the matter.

    The decades-old video, which is not easily found, has been provided by the Oprah Winfrey Network, those sources said. The video has been provided to senators in a Capitol Hill office building, according to people who have seen it. OWN did not immediately comment for this story.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      She still has a long way to go before she’s made amends for unleashing Rachel Ray on the world.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        In fairness, that was Bobby Flay.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I’m already not forgiving him for a number of things.* I blame Oprah for giving her access to the world beyond the Food Network.

          *–Not every damned fruit has to be a fucking salsa.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            (verysmallvoice) We have a pantry full of peach and tomato salsa with corn and black beans don’t judge us (/verysmallvoice)

          • suziq

            That salsa would be acceptable. Carry on.

          • RC

            This year I’d like to try watermelon salsa

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            My favorite was when in the new Gilmore Girls episodes, Lorelei hires Racheal Ray as a featured chef. And when Sookie (played by the wonderful Melissa McCarthy) comes back to cook, she goes off on Ray’s “sammies”.

      • Yr. Gma

        And Dr. Phil. And Dr. Oz.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Honestly I’d take a hundred Rachel Rays over those two cons.

          • Thiazin Red

            Right, those two cause actual physical harm to people who believe their nonsense.

      • snark-lurker

        she (Ray) had a very fuckable face, so…..

      • Thiazin Red

        I don’t hate Rachel Ray, shes good at what she does.

    • ariel_gee_398

      So there is a line, maybe. Complete ignorance, financial malfeasance, and being a fucking racist are not good enough reasons to stop a nominee, but domestic abuse is?

      • snark-lurker

        i KNOwwwwwww!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        OUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS!

        • OrG

          For max horror it’s FOUR YEAR OLD DAUGHTERS!!!!!

      • LucindathePook

        Really? ‘Cause you’d think it would just be an added bonus.

      • suziq

        I think Puzder will drop out because he doesn’t like all the attention on his bad shit. If he doesn’t the will still get all the R votes so easy confirmation for him. There is NO line they are not willing to cross.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Reasonable financial settlement terms are sometimes a part of a (forced) retraction of abuse… allegedly

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Puzder is not just a putz. I leave it to you, the reader, to draw your own conclusions.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    HuffPo says trump ICETroopers got 680 people in the last day or two…. Just 20 million or so more and he’ll have kept his first promise.

    • Suse

      That’s good because they only got the rapists, murderers, drug lords, and other bad hombres and it was done in a very nice way. /s

  • Suse
    • SayItWithWookies

      Where the hell do all these Nazis come from? And why do they seem like they’d be damn proud to show it off in public if it weren’t just so darn un-PC? As though the whole genocide and death camps and doing unspeakable things to others was just out of fashion?

  • Lucas Foxx

    Wanna see something that will make the stew come out of your nose? Watch the face of the definitive sycophant on Trump’s left wordlessly show her skills in the opening* of Trump’s round-table on women. (*I couldn’t take much. I have a low tolerance today)

    • ViveLaPersistence

      LOL. Everyone else’s name cards are turned toward the other side of the table, where the other participants are. Baby Donnie’s is turned toward the camera. Insecure much?

      • suziq

        And he is probably the only one people recognize without a name card. Though I wish I didn’t recognize him.

  • Suse
  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Internet was down. Beginning of the the Internet Death Squads from Trump. Thanks, fuckface!

    • Suse

      Mine is extremely slow, but not down.

    • Count Awesome

      I guess I’ll just have to indulge in handrawn Brazilian fart porn for a while.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Was hoping for a post about Stephen Miller today but I’m sure there’ll be plenty of opportunities for those down the road. But I’m still going to leave these quotes from some of his college papers here. Since he’s still in his 30’s, I figured they’re relevant.

    On feminism and closing the pay gap:

    “What feminists don’t realize is that bosses simply want to run a successful business. They will reward and promote whichever employees are doing the best job. If John sells more than Jill, he gets promoted; if Jill sells more than John, she gets promoted. That is the simple beauty of the free market.” (“Sorry Feminists,” Nov. 22, 2005)

    “It’s vital to keep in mind what it would actually mean for women if we were to close the pay gap. For many, it would mean giving up a noble career in social working or putting in 50- and 60-hour work weeks and not being able to spend time with the family. It would mean trading in jobs like housekeeping for night shifts doing road repairs; it would mean giving up the joy of being home during your child’s first years of life.” (Ibid)

    He’s also the guy who grew up in Santa Monica, Ca and wrote several letters for his high school newspaper criticizing the school’s liberal values. When he was 16 he wrote an article for his high school paper in which he said that “Osama Bin Laden would feel welcome in Santa Monica High School.” I wonder how well it would’ve worked out for him if he attended a high school in a southern red district and wrote a paper condemning the confederate army. I’m pretty sure that in the high school I went to in rural N.C., he would’ve gotten his ass kicked or his parents would’ve been advised to put him in home school. Glad you had a safe space to express your thoughts while growing up out here in California, dipshit!

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2016/12/14/a_look_back_at_trump_adviser_stephen_miller_s_college_writing_career.html

    https://twitter.com/WesSmith123/status/831133503219761152

    • SnarkON

      Stephen Miller was cooler when he was a joker, a smoker and a midnight toker.

      • Juan de Fuca

        This one’s a real space cowboy. I’m hoping he’ll take the money and run.

        • Holly

          Go on….

    • Count Awesome

      He looks like the illegitimate love child of Hannibal Lecter and Daryl Issa.

    • Yr. Gma

      Yes, we need to remind ourselves that we did give the nation Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan. We are not perfect.

      • Sister the Persister

        Yeah, but you gave us Hippie San Francisco and Gay San Francisco, so we can forgive a lot.

    • Amelia

      Now I’m imagining what would have happened had my small town NC high school had a newspaper with an editorial section. Judging by the “healthy debate” periods from my Civics class Sophomore year, I don’t think my mental scars would have healed to this day.

      • Juan de Fuca

        When I was 15, my mom moved us from New Jersey to a very rural part of N.C and good lord, did my eyes open up to how life really is in those parts. I arrived to a new school with a Jersey accent and had more than a few upper class girls slipping me notes and such. As far as some of the guys went, I was called everything from “yankee trash” to “faggot.” After a few fights and joining the football and wrestling teams, it stopped but damn, that was an experience. A year or so later, we moved to Boone, N.C. and I felt like I moved to liberal Santa Monica, CA. Except it was in the Blue Ridge Mountains, which remains one of my favorite places in the world because it’s beautiful.

        • Amelia

          I think I was close enough to Asheville not to feel completely removed from civilization, but sometimes it was hard to remember that when you were arguing 2 on 20 about whether gayness should be legal.

  • Suse

    Mnuchin is in! 53-47.

    • Was Manchin a fucknut again?

      • Suse

        Yup!

      • LucindathePook

        I keep thinking of Jules Munshin, who was Ann Miller’s love interest in On the Town.

        • Suse

          I really like that movie.

          • LucindathePook

            I have a little crush on Jules.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This guy should just go R and get it over with. He’s scum. Wait, I’ve insulted scum. Sorry.

    • SnarkON

      Well, we all Mnuchin that was going to happen.

    • DahBoner

      I thought Munchkins were like 5 for a dollar

    • yyyaz

      This makes me very, very stabby.

      • Suse

        Yes. One asshole after another being confirmed and put in charge. It’s a nightmare.

        • yyyaz

          Worse. I have always woken up from a nightmare, at least so far.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          But, as a little chuckle, “one asshole after another” brought to mind a Trump Cabinet meeting of all these brown puckers sitting around facing each other at a big table…

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Because nothing says “Treasury Secretary like “I forgot to disclose $100M in assets.”

      Also, 53 to 47? What fucking idiot Dems voted for this criminal?

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Manchin.

        • sw19bender

          He should just quit fucking about and join the Freedom Caucus, FFS.

      • shivaskeeper

        Too be fair, to someone like Mnuchin, 100M is a rounding error.

    • TootsStansbury

      Welcome to unreality TV. I hate these assholes.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I was watching helicopters dropping bags of rocks at the endangered California dam. “Bag of Rocks” is the name of my Trump cabinet tribute band.

  • Holly

    Stew and wine….lots of wine…lots and lots of wine….BRB I have to go refill my wine glass. I seem to be drinking lots of wine lately,

    • Suse

      I drank a whole bottle last night. It was vinho verde, so lower in alcohol, but still… Swearing more, drinking more, sleeping less these days.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      The vintners are going to have a very good few years.

  • DahBoner
    • Count Awesome

      I guess that is Trump© Brand transparency.

  • Jack Tenhet

    What is it with this administration hiring people with names that evoke entertaining and talented people. I hate having to not only preface “Joe Walsh” but now “Steve Miller” as musicians and not the crappy right-wing communist enablers.

    • Picabo

      I hope they hire Jim Morrison. Would like to see him on F*** and F*****s.

  • Michael R

    I’m out of things to say so ….

    https://s8.postimg.org/63zrat451/jiffy_pop_monkey.jpg

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Ronnie Reagan!

    • Suse
      • Picabo

        We used to have a classy First Family. Class is canceled because of snow days for the duration.

      • Shoto

        Actually, the question is more like…What is Ivanka doing to that poor little guy’s popcorn making device? Fucking kleptocrat grifters have no shame.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He does know that we can see where his hand is, right?

        • LucindathePook

          Gotta be on purpose. MINE! Seriously.

      • RC

        I want to know why a guy who’s got as much money as he does looks like he’s wearing his little brother’s suit.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      How can that thing make popcorn? You can’t put all that metal in a microwave.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Thanks Pinkham. Now I have gone off my diet. The next five pounds (82 kilograms, I think … I was learned at a Ditzy Duh-Vos skool) are your fault.

    • Suse

      I really like the name you’ve given her. So fitting.

    • Shoto

      That skool learns you up real good on the letters and cipherin’ stuff. And plenty of Babby Jeezuz, too, also. Amen.

    • Rasilom

      You know its going all wrong when the Sec Ed makes Jethro Clampet look like a fucking rocket scientest.

  • beingreleased
    • Suse

      Getting ever closer to the Handmaid’s Tale.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        haha, jinx :)

      • Shoto

        Wait: Are we talking about the Joe-Scar / Stepford Mika relationship?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t an instruction manual, you repulsive fuckface.

      • Suse

        Jinx!

      • LucindathePook

        It is now.

    • RC

      Ah, the old “your nothing but an incubator” Can I get into Canada if I use this guy as a example of percussion?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m not sure how easy it’s going to be to prove someone is “percussioning” you. Do you have videos of the guy chasing you around with a flute?

        • RC

          hahaha spell check use it wisely. Since you both pointed out my screw up I can’t fix it.. hahaha

          • Sister the Persister

            I love autocorrect sometimes…

          • RC

            Oh, no I picked it out of list. I just didn’t look close enough. Nice of you to try and give me an out though. :)

          • Sister the Persister

            I love autocorrect silly mistakes sometimes…

          • snark-lurker

            hey percussion worked for me, maid perfect cents

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            My use of the word “flute” was not accidental, either. ;-)

      • mackafritz

        You want to beat him like a drum?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I don’t have click the link because I’ve already read “Handmaids Tale”

    • georgiaburning

      The petroleum industry feels the same way about the Oklahoma Legislature

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Sick burn, yo.

      • sw19bender

        That’s rather crude.

        • TJ Barke

          But light and sweet.

    • TJ Barke

      So, hypothetical people matter more than real ones, except when it comes to future environmental damage?
      It’s so hard to keep their positions straight…

      • sw19bender

        Easy Anarchy Pony cut-out-and-keep:

        In the Womb: OMG! God’s Precious Creature!
        Out the Birth Canal: Ugh! Disgusting Moocher!

      • Missionary, in the dark. Only the guy cums.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Women are just ‘hosts’ for the sperm, obvs.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Well then I guess we don’t have to worry about our oral skills then. Phew!

          • LucindathePook

            It’s kinda like in Alien, y’know. All the Aliens.

        • Shoto

          In the missionary position, for purposes of procreation, only. Keep the lights off, and your eyes closed, which is the way Jeezuz intended for it to be.

        • sw19bender

          Missionary, in the dark…. i.e. priest in the confession box?

        • TJ Barke

          You say that like it’s a bad thing…

        • shivaskeeper

          They all know the female orgasm is a lie from the pit of hell anyway.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well you know that we just lie back and think of America.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Suddenly, I feel like I belong in a Dostoevsky story.

      • LucindathePook

        I think I’m in there with Kafka.

        • sw19bender

          It’s all a little too Ubu Roi for me.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubu_Roi#Synopsis

          • sw19bender

            “the central character is notorious for his infantile engagement with his world. Ubu inhabits a domain of greedy self-gratification”

            Just saying.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          But what about the plight of the powerless, faceless women who have to run around in those hideous Russian peasant get-ups.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Fetuses have more rights than women because a fetus still might turn out to be male.

    • RC

      you know I have come to expect this bullshit from men but what really pisses me off is women who join in. I’d like to bitch slap everyone with votes.

    • sw19bender

      Say, you know who else is merely a host to advance another entity’s interests?

      • TJ Barke

        Humanity and the machines?

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Skynet Libelz!1111111!!!

    • jowgajen

      Winning comment from above:

      mocena
      Prachi Gupta
      2/13/17 2:06pm
      As a currently pregnant person, I’d like to tell this man to fuck the fuck off with his host bullshit. I wanted this baby and pregnancy is miserable as FUCK. This isn’t hosting, this is being bled fucking dry by a goddamned alien (if you’re reading this in the future, little dude, just know that I mean every fucking word of this, even though I love you to pieces.)

      There is NO WAY a woman should be forced to “host” someone if she doesn’t want to. And LITERALLY NO WOMAN would rather have an abortion than take birth control or use a condom. ABORTIONS ARE NOT FUN OR EASY OR CHEAP. FUCKING MORON.

      Let me at em. I’ll fucking sit on that mother fucker and pregnancy incontinence all over his damn chest as he suffocates, like I do if I try to lie on my fucking back for more than a minute.

      • Persistent Demme

        BTW: It is always a give-away of phony-fakeness when a supposedly pregnant woman lies on her back in a movie, or TV show, etc.

    • shivaskeeper

      At least they aren’t trying to hide their beliefs anymore.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Commenting Rules for Radicals prevent me from describing in any detail what I’d have done with this asswipe.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Heh, the Seattle Judge trolls the Trump lawyers…they were askign for a delay in going to trial today…

    “As the government argued for postponement, the judge referenced Trump’s tweet reacting to the 9th Circuit ruling saying he would “see you in court.”

    “I’m a little surprised since the President said he wanted ‘to see you in court,'” Robart said, later adding, “Are you confident that’s the argument you want to make?”

    DOJ lawyer Michelle R. Bennett said: “Yes, your honor.””
    http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/13/politics/trump-delay-travel-ban-seattle/index.html

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yep. Tweets biting him in the ass. Yay.

  • Shoto

    Don’t tell me, let me guess: The Pinkham / Wonkette Beef Stew Delivery Wagon is snowed in today, right? That would explain why dinner has not yet arrived.

  • Suse

    Well, I’m going to go bake a cake and drink a bottle of wine. See you later.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Seriously, if you don’t like this song I will cry at you.
    https://youtu.be/X09s37tJ09s

    • Sister the Persister

      Beautiful, and what a lovely voice! Just enough grit to really resonate. :)

    • Shoto

      Nice little tune.

  • Shoto

    For those who have not yet had the pleasure, here’s a bit of good news from PPP. Bear in mind that we’re only three weeks into The Orange Clown Dictator Administration.

    http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/main/2017/02/americans-now-evenly-divided-on-impeaching-trump.html

    • Suttree

      -Voters think he’s over reaching to make a country safe…that they already consider to be safe.
      66% of Americans consider the United States to be a safe country, to
      only 23% who consider it unsafe. Perhaps as an outgrowth of that
      sentiment only 45% of voters support Trump’s Executive Order on
      immigration, to 49% who are opposed to it. Among those who do support it
      you have to wonder how well thought out their position is- by a 51/23
      margin Trump voters say that the Bowling Green Massacre shows why
      Trump’s immigration policy is needed.

      What can I even add to this? How do these people breathe?

      • sw19bender

        Hey, you can never be too careful safe.

      • RC

        They breath poorly that’s why they aren’t getting enough oxygen to their brains.

      • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

        I had a thought the other day. A lot of these Trump Salt of the Earth live no where near a city where it’s most likely an attack will take place. Most of them believe that the cities are full of elites, and they hate elites – elites are the problem with America.

        So there is going to be an Isis attack in Podunk Iowa? No, it will be in a major city and the salt of the earth will smugly gloat. So why do they care again? Do they really believe that they are important enough to be targets for anything other than their cousin Dwayne fucking around with his shotgun?

        • Suttree

          Exactly. Either Dwayne accidentally shoots them or he blows up a federal building. That wouldn’t be real terrorism though.

        • Yr. Gma

          Well, San Bernardino is not exactly a thriving metropolis. It’s also the seat of a mostly red voter county (the largest county in the US) with many right-wing residents. The city itself is in the third (?) year of bankruptcy, and the median income is lower than most of California. Precious few elites around here. And yet, there was that terrorist attack.

          • Suttree

            But it’s in California! It must be full of elitist homosexicans!

          • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

            True, but was that more of an anomaly? I have a feeling that NY or Chicago is more likely than BFE or No-Name County Texas.

      • shivaskeeper

        The country is as safe as anywhere can be. We tend to be to far away for non domestic terrorists to even get here, let alone do bad shit. Europe, Africa, Asia, they are all right there where is “easy” to get there and operate.

        With as scared as these fucksticks are about imaginary terrorism, I can’t even fathom how they would react living in a place where large scale terrorism was actually a thing that could happen more than once every few years.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          One doesn’t even want to speculate how these ‘fraidy-cats would have done under the Blitz. It’s embarrassing, really.

        • sw19bender

          Having lived through the IRA’s fun and games, I can confirm we don’t whine, we just get on with our lives. Because fuck it, you were (and still are) exponentially more likely to die in a road traffic accident.

          • sw19bender

            Oh and it’s mere laziness that stops me from hopping over to enjoy a nice weekend in Paris or Berlin.
            Bad Bender! Naughty Bender!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Good Bender! Lovely Bender! Laziness has a long and honorable tradition here.

          • sw19bender

            Then I shall go to Paris sans culottes in honour of our Great and Glorious Traditions!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Just no palourdes en conserve.

          • sw19bender

            Quelle Brute!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Shouldn’t that be All-caps?

          • sw19bender

            Le fucking putain de bollocks.
            Je suis desole. J’ai fucke la haut totalement. :(

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Je ne parle pas francais.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • Shoto
  • WomanInThePersistence

    This seems strangely on topic.

    https://youtu.be/YpewNTgFGuQ

    • Suttree

      I got an ex-gf a shirt that says “because wine”. It explains everything succinctly.

  • Nick.Trite

    Bomb ass spice mix, will file away for future stews. I’m already converted to church of the holy bay leaf, but I’ve never tried Hoisin sauce in anything. Maybe next week when I make hayashi rice, I’ll throw some in instead of my regular worcestershire sauce

    • Persistent Demme

      Hoisin is wonderful!
      I used to buy it by the pint from my local Chinese restaurant (they thought I was crazy) before it was in stores.
      (Great to put on hamburgers just before they’re done.)

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Shulkin confirmed as VA Secretary – 100 to 0. He’s the first Secretary of Veteran’s Affairs to never serve in the military, but he is also well-liked by the medical community and was Undersecretary for Health in the same Department so he does have experience in the issues facing veterans.

    • What? A nominee with real, honest to dog QUALIFICATIONS for the job? I may litterally faint

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s a pleasant change.

      • RC

        He’s the only one who’d take the job. No one else wanted it because the VA is a mess

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He’s also said that privatization is off the table. We’ll see how that holds up under assault from asswipes like Price.

      • shivaskeeper

        That’s kind of a big deal. If he can actually get some of the things modernized that would be great.

    • shivaskeeper

      Pics or it didn’t happen. I cannot believe the Admin picked someone even marginally qualified for the job at hand.

      • LucindathePook

        Well, it’s only for veterans….

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        It was an accident

    • SayItWithWookies

      Clearly Assmouth and his cronies had no interest in this secretariat and left it to whoever felt like suggesting a name.

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    First: eh, heh heh heh, you said dutch oven.

    Second: I heard that Brad never heard Free Bird. I read it on the interwebs.

  • Shoto
  • Sophia

    Snort.

    Utah rejects sex education bill, so porn site redirects to instructional videos

    Representative Brian King, who sponsored the HB215 bill, said he was “disappointed” and “frustrated” by the vote. “It’s a shame that in Utah we have to rely on porn sites to provide sex education for our kids,” he said Monday.

    https://www.theguardian.com/education/2017/feb/13/utah-sex-education-bill-porn-xhamster

    • I want to punch with votes all the parents skeered of the Ontario curriculum. Abstinece is a bigger joke than Twitler.

      That being said, does this mean i should change to xHamster for my porn needs?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        It looks like they do good things. Yes.

      • RC

        they’d rather their kids get pregnant and have VD or worse than have them find out how babies are made or should I say how to stop from having babies.

      • Sophia

        Seems fair. They are trying to do a public service. Also, too totally agree with you on the Ontario curriculum. Wonder How many of those skeered parents had the old shotgun wedding.

    • Yr. Gma

      The Mormon way involves getting those kids married ASAP so they can start churning out the babbies to repopulate the earth.

      • yyyaz

        I very much look forward to meeting the dead ones who are now populating planets all throughout the cosmos. Get SETI on this stat!

  • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

    It’s day 400 of the Trump presidency.
    #alternative fact.

    It feels like it so maybe its true.
    #fact

    • WomanInThePersistence

      It’s been what – 2 1/2 weeks? And yet it has been an eternity.

    • OrG

      Is he wearing an orange jumpsuit in this fantasy?

      • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

        He is orange, but not wearing an orange jump suit.

    • Warned_and_Persistent

      In dog years, yes. just 27 years to go.

  • Shoto
    • RC

      wow I bet Donnie hates that pic.

      • Shoto

        Sounds like a good reason to jam it into his tweeter feed (and the feeds of his cronies and family) on a regular basis.

      • Yr. Gma

        Looks like a pelican.

        • starfanglednut

          Obligatory:

          Pelican libelz11!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      SCROTUS

      So-Called Ruler Of The United States

  • ariel_gee_398

    So much for those “moderating influence” rumors. Kushner is just as disconnected from reality.

    “But now, a month into his new job in the West Wing, Kushner appears to have become a true believer in Bannon’s agenda. Several sources told me that Kushner was defensive about the executive order that temporarily barred Muslim immigrants and refugees. The longtime friend said that when he pointed out that refugees had not, in fact, been responsible for any of the terror attacks on U.S. soil, Kushner, he said, answered by saying that that was not true.”

    http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/02/jared-kushner-donald-trumps-true-believer

    • Yr. Gma

      His holocast ancestors are so proud.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Allegedly, some of his extended family is upset.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          As well they should be.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I read something last month about how Kushner had changed on the campaign trail, because he saw some economically disadvataged people. I’m sure he’ll be leading the charge against tax cuts for the wealthy.*

      *That last sentence is pure bullshit. He’s going to be just as stupid and greedy as the rest of them.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Only took a month? I admire his conviction.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fucking Kapo.

  • Jamoche

    Pinkham’s Thrillist page isn’t showing things in chronological order anymore, and don’t even have any of the 2017 articles :(

  • Ryan Denniston

    No doubt Trump is trying to figure out how he can come across being stronger and more erect than Obama.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/58f10734f812374e7fd61b3aaabc30a998c5ad9cf35d4a318ebf00ed588fafa0.png

    • Begin Anew Day

      You have violated the Code Of Decent Commentary! I refer you to article 56, subsection 12, line 3 where it says “certain words may never be used in the same sentence together etc. etc.” This particular clause is better known as the “Limbaugh/Thong” Law and your use of “Trump” and “erect” in the same sentence definitely violates all norms of decency!

      This is your only warning.

      • Ryan Denniston

        I figured Wonket was ecumenical and all dick jokes were welcome. My bad.

    • Scrofula

      I notice that since 1980 recoveries are getting longer and longer. Not to mention the sheer size of the 2007 crash–I try not to feel so bad being unemployed during that.
      Also, to, the recovery length is starting to bleed in to the next bubble. It’ll be all crash all the time soon.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From the article “I Was Trained for the Culture Wars in Home School, Awaiting Someone Like Mike Pence as a Messiah””

    “Christofascists have been wanting someone like Pence in the White House and, until now, didn’t have a way to get one in. They know Trump is easily manipulated and will change his mind with the wind if it makes him feel more powerful and famous. Trump couldn’t care less about policy, a fact he’s made quite obvious. The Right has given a tyrant power and fame; he will do whatever they want him to do in order to keep it. This way they can sneak Pence in on a piggyback while filling Congress with even more evangelical conservative Republicans. Compared to Trump’s abrasive and terrifying behavior, Pence seems much less threatening. This is not the case. Pence has a proven track record of legalizing discrimination and acting against women and marginalized people. Those of us who didn’t leave the far Right are being elected to federal positions or are taking over states and cities. With Pence in office, even the reasonable-seeming incumbents – who have been and are still at the mercy of the Tea Party – are growing more bold in their attempts to further the Christofascist agenda: To Take Back The Country For Christ.

    This was the mantra we heard. This was our mission. This is how we were to win: Outbreed, Outvote, Outactivate. Every class, every event, every pastor or guest speaker reiterated this, choosing to risk the 501c3 status of their church to push their agenda. To take back the country for Christ, we needed to outbreed, outvote and outactivate the other side, thus saith The Lord.”

    This whole article is very interesting, and very scary.
    https://www.autostraddle.com/i-was-trained-for-the-culture-wars-in-home-school-awaiting-someone-like-mike-pence-as-a-messiah-367057/

    • Sister the Persister

      They know Trump is easily manipulated and will change his mind with the wind if it makes him feel more powerful and famous. Trump couldn’t care less about policy, a fact he’s made quite obvious.

      Soooooo….. is there a way to manipulate Trump to our purposes? Filing away for future thought….

      • RC

        Probably not, He know we aren’t ever going to vote for his ass

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was one of those suckers who actually thought he might govern fairly competently. I figured he’d “pull a Reagan” and tell the rubes what they wanted to hear, and then just steal and cut taxes on the wealthy. Meanwhile, he’s surrounded himself with the worst of the far right fringes. His cabinet is a rogue’s gallery of unqualified, incompetent, gypsies, tramps and thieves.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Cher libelz!

        • OrG

          Mostly thieves.

      • Michael R

        Make Trump aware that Pence and Bannon are in charge .
        You can manipulate Trump by telling him he can’t do something that you want him to do .
        Of course that’s the point they get rid of him .

    • Vecchioivan

      Fucking for Jeee-sus 🎶

    • shivaskeeper

      He is still more predictable. The only thing I can say about Pence is his playbook is well published and predictable.

    • TJ Barke

      If their god is all powerful, why do they need to do anything for him?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I think you want that logic over there.

        //points to a squirrel

    • Jenny

      Pence is also incompetent. So I wager this Russia shit will roll down hill to him too. But President Ryan sounds pretty shitty too. I don’t think we could taken the house but I could dream about it.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I kind of want Trump to serve his whole 4 years, because I want someone who is so unpopular, incompetent, and repugnant, that the country rises up in rage in 2018 and 2020.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’m telling you the scenario is get rid of Pence FIRST, then get a complacent Congress to install Bannon an Veep. Then Bannon throws Trump under the bus, and Heil Steve.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’d almost rather have Bannon than Pence, although he’s also crazy as hell.

  • Sophia
    • alpacapunchbowl

      Sorosbux are leftover Hanukkah gelt? The white supremacists are really gonna lose their shit now!

  • Shoto
  • Skadi

    *looks at her Chef Boyardee and cries*

    • Yr. Gma

      Mini raviolis aren’t so bad.

    • Sister the Persister

      I will never knock Chef Boyardee, because it’s pulled me through many an otherwise microwave-popcorn kind of dinner. But seriously, it’s much better with that dried out powdered parmesan cheese in it.

      • Vincent Ricola

        An almost expired bottle of dried out powdered Parmesan fixes most food.

      • Skadi

        <..>

        …I just cut out chunks of cheese, put them in the bottom of the bowl, and pour the ravioli over them to make them soft and melty…

    • OrG

      There’s starving children in (insert poor country your parents used) that would love to have that Chef Boyardee.

      • Vecchioivan

        *America*

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Armenia when I was kid. Connecticut when talking to my kids.

      • Skadi

        My stepmother says that when she was a kid she was told there was starving children in America that would be grateful for her borscht.

    • Scrofula

      O C’mon, at least some Progresso.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      I ate a protein bar for dinner. :(

    • alpacapunchbowl

      At least heat it up, okay? I had a boyfriend in college who would eat beefaroni straight from the can. Cold. Cold beefaroni!
      In my defense, I was 18 and placed a higher priority on his access to awesome weed and his fondness/skill for muff divin’ than on dating someone who wasn’t, you know, disgusting.

      • RC

        we’ve all been there. :)

      • clubseal

        That’s forkin’ gross.

        And possibly no excuse. I have a decent proficiency for muff diving and I’m a good cook. Jury’s still out on access to weed. Not literally, just turning a phrase.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          He at least knew better than to do anything like that when I was around. But yes, still fucking gross.
          I still like awesome weed and muff divers, but my taste in men has gotten somewhat better these 20some years later.
          The guy was dim but never dull. He once fell into an open manhole because he was paying more attention to the freshman girls moving in to the dorms than where he was going.

          • Matthew Mcconaughey will be playing him in the movie adaptation, I assume?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            For the longest time, my sis and I had “all right all right all right!” as our text notification for eachother.
            No bongos were harmed in the blossoming of my sexuality.

          • clubseal

            You may have been dating a cartoon character. Was there long penny whistle sound as he fell?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            He did receive an awful lot of packages from a place called Acme.

      • puredog

        Did he eat the beefaroni and then dive the muff, in that order? That might be icky.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          HELL NO. Even as a dumbass 18yo I had some standards.
          *shudders*

  • Shoto
    • boyblue123

      They cant get their designer confederate merchandise at Nordstrom’s anymore I guess

    • TJ Barke

      Master race!

    • jowgajen

      Unfortunate, the plus size department is quite nice at Nordie’s. Pricy though.

    • Scrofula

      I see at least two women and one man in there who have stopped buying bras, anyway.

    • suziq

      I just ordered a bunch of tops from Nordstrom yesterday. Just doing my part! (guessing none of those people have ever been in or purchased anything from Nordstrom-Walmart all the way!)

      • Pinkham’s Law

        WalMart, Hell! There’s a flea market just down the road from their trailers.

        • suziq

          Yeah, probably cheaper than Walmart. Though that poor guy either can’t afford any shirt or can’t find one large enough. Should we tell them that Marshall’s has Ivanka Trump sweaters for a buck? That might be something they can afford.

    • OrG

      They seem nice.

  • Begin Anew Day

    At last! This is the first recipe purveyor who establishes the link between making good food and MUSIC! Life itself cannot be sustained without both of these arts.

    May Crom bless you with strength Pinkham’s Law!

    (I did try to make this but I ended up with something different. Perhaps it was the half pound of crunchy bacon I added?)

  • RC

    Is abortion legal in Canada?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yes.

      • RC

        Interesting. I wonder if worse comes to worse and you could prove your in dire need, if you could cross and pay for an abortion in Canada….it would be interesting if they tried to prosecute you when you came back to the states.

        • OrG

          Are you too young to remember the time before Roe V. Wade?

          • RC

            15 so probably not paying much attention

          • OrG

            So,I don’t know of anyone going to Canada for an abortion,but crossing state lines yes.

          • RC

            so even before Roe abortion was legal some places. So, what your saying is rich people who can afford to travel will get abortions and the poor are really who gets screwed again.

          • OrG

            BINGO

          • Poor people will get some shady grifters in back allies. Judging from history.

          • RC

            I remember reading an interview with a doctor that said not long after Roe whole wings of hospitals closed down because women didn’t have to go to shady grifters anymore. He was very explicit in how much better it was after Roe.

          • like whoa.

          • RC

            I did not remember it quite correctly but it’s still worth reading. I’ve never put a link in one of these I hope it works.

            https://thinkprogress.org/what-americans-have-forgotten-about-the-era-before-roe-v-wade-19687b9e9b16#.1l0u4nfou

          • cmd resistor

            Same here.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Freebird”…a song about being free sung along by those who will never be free of the powers that be who administer our economic system. Fuck.

  • Shoto
    • OrG

      I don’t have a problem with Flynn having the first mugshot of the trump regime.

      • Shoto

        Nor do I. What I do have a problem with, however, is the likely response of the GOP, which will be, “We cleared out the bad guy. Nothing more to see here. Let’s move forward.” And the REAL scandal gets buried.

        We must demand an independent select committee, with full subpoena power and a big-ass budget. The committee can be bipartisan, but it must be outside of any constraints that might (read: most definitely would) be imposed by either congress or the White House. Anything less is total bullshit, and should be considered wholly unacceptable.

        • OrG

          Agree on all.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I hadn’t thought that much about it, but I agree. Flynn’s removal would be a license for Chaffetz to say, “See? the system works. We don’t need hearings.”

        • cmd resistor

          Exactly. No way Trump hasn’t had this info for 3 weeks, if he didn’t tell Flynn to make the call himself.

      • dshwa

        As long as it’s not the last…

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    I love that you put green beans in this.

    Also, the most right-wing person I ever met was a HUGE Lynyrd Skynyrd fan. UGH.

    • yyyaz

      “Sweet Home Alabama” has always made me want to puke. And immediately play some Neil Young, too.

  • going4baroque

    There are real, actual physicists who are theorizing that the universe is a simulation. So, let us consider that our (meaning your) reality is cobbled together by a 5 year old and his fantasies in the bowels of his parents basement. That would explain perfectly why the world is now run by one Donald Trump and the only one who is not aghast at this state of affairs is Donald Trump. I’ve decided to give this 5 year old a break, some few more weeks to work out the kinks in the code. In the meantime, I’m experimenting with a few essential algorithms for my own version and expect it to be ready to unfold by the end of the year.

    • TJ Barke

      I’m pretty sure it’s a simulation designed to generate content for a higher universe’s version of The Onion.

      • going4baroque

        of course, that’s it, or at least a simulation to make it appear that way, there’s mirrors and turtles all the way down

    • data_ninja

      I have to drag this one out again:

      There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly
      what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
      and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
      There is another theory mentioned, which states that this has already happened.

      –HHGTTG

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Somebody must have discovered it on Nov. 8.

      • going4baroque

        that is the stretching and the breaking of logic and reason that is tethered to things known, and the delusion of knowledge that it is possible to know the universe, which will never happen, there is only, there is only experiencing it, it’s like those dreams that explain everything perfectly but then cannot be remembered upon awakening, because it is just beyond thought’s capabilities to capture it, or you can only “know’ something that is mechanical and that’s why the mind breaks, knowledge is limited to the past

      • In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

    • HazooToo

      There you are! And I did get your name right! Awesome.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      There’s a great Ursula LeGuin short story where some xenoanthropologists figure out that the planet they’re studying is actually created by the dreams of a 15 year old boy, and they have no idea what will happen to it when he wakes up.

    • dshwa

      The notion that we’re living in an alien run Truman Show seems more likely by the day.

  • Shoto
    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m pretty sure that signing some of these landed me on the worst email list. Ever. Allow me to share.

      “In all, eight Democrat senators have stated publicly that Judge Gorsuch deserves a hearing and a vote. Judge Gorsuch is bringing Senators together on both sides of the aisle.

      There is no better choice to carry on Justice Antonin Scalia’s incredible legacy of protecting our freedoms.

      In the coming weeks, as Judge Gorsuch meets with more Senators and continues the nomination process, he will need our support.”

      The White House

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        If I see that fucking ad on MSNBC from that woman who says she worked for Obama and says the left should not be worried about Gorsuch I will scream. Bitch, he was part of the Hobby Lobby decision, so sit the fuck down and STFU FFS.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I personally want to know who those eight turncoat, traitorous bastards are.

          • boyblue123

            Joe Manchin voted yes on Sessions for AG so I assume he is one of those turn coats

          • puredog

            That’s also probably true.

          • puredog

            Well, you know, giving him a hearing and then voting against the bastard, that’s the way it was always done before Yertle dropped the bomb.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Gorsuch is a Jeebofascist pig. Fuck him. He’s his foul mother’s spawn.

      • suziq

        I signed that the day they posted it and everything else I come across and I don’t get spam like that.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Maybe the deities of the interwebs just hate me. I was going to try to get off the mailing list, but then I realized I need to keep my enemies closer.

          • suziq

            Could be you replied to something pro-fascist to protest and they thought you were friendly. That kind of stuff I send to spam so I can still look at it once in a while to see what’s up but isn’t dinging at me when I am out and about with my phone.Too annoying.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      722,962 SIGNED 100,000 GOAL

      The unprecedented economic conflicts of this administration need to be visible to the American people, including any pertinent documentation which can reveal the foreign influences and financial interests which may put Donald Trump in conflict with the emoluments clause of the Constitution.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4aa565e1174efc18b53d6d0731b04e44387ed0923e5bb1b073cda95f6faa516e.jpg

      • snark-lurker

        Those who can do anything are like, pointing & laughing at everyone else

    • Serai 1

      No, thanks. Too many people in the know have said those things make no difference whatsoever and are not read. But I wouldn’t put it past these fuckers to use all those petitions as target lists. Not gonna give them my info, sorry.

  • Kooolest G

    I for one am glad that people yelling out “freebird” at every band’s gig as joke went away years ago. I’m also glad people stopped holding up lighters during the slow songs at concerts, but I’m sad that it’s been replaced by people holding up their cell phones to try to film the whole show. Just enjoy the show people, live in the moment and appreciate the fact that the only way to experience that show is to actually be there. If you want to hear those songs more than just once, that’s why bands make records

    • OrG

      Um…there are STILL assholes that yell Freebird.

      • Kooolest G

        I only hope I live to see the day when kids will ask their grandparents “why did people used to yell out freebird at shows grandpa? I mean I get that it’s a long song but what’s funny about that?”

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yep, ask punkindrublic all about it…

      • handyhippie65

        uhhh… i might still. if it’s a bar band doing covers. i must admit, i still like southern rock. black oak akansas, molly hatchet, lynyrd skynyrd. sorry. i am a country boy at heart. just don’t like country music.

    • cmd resistor

      Well I confess I went to see them in high school. Excuse, friends took me. Also, too, I lived in JAX, where they were from. Did you know they named themselves after Leonard Skinner, a gym teacher they had, I think.

      • cmd resistor

        Also, too, the less boring people in my high school class voted Free Bird as our senior class song, to oppose the already old and tired Carpenter tune, We’ve only just begun. I really never thought of it past the title, as a Senior Class option. Carpenters won, though.

      • Courser_Resistance

        That’s what I heard somewhere. And I have to admit, Freebird got real old, real fast for me. Two, TWO guys in my college years explained that they were ‘freebirds’ who could never settle for just one girl. Yes, it was exactly as lame as it sounds. The second time, I just barely held off slapping his stupid face. For being a dumbass! I sure as hell don’t want to spend another moment with him either.

        • cmd resistor

          I honestly can say I don’t remember ever knowing any of the lyrics.

  • memzilla Ω
    • ariel_gee_398

      That’s obviously fake. None of the signs are misspelled.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall
    • snark-lurker

      we have a new MONSTER!

    • sw19bender

      Well, fuck you, I’m not cleaning it up!

  • Nounverb911
    • WomanInThePersistence

      Math is hard! And she is a 24carat idiot.

  • Jenny

    I wish I had a bot army! I would set them off on how Micheal Flynn is the worst. Absolutely horrid pick, sad, low brow, trashy pic. In cahoots with Russiam Worse than Ivanka’s clothes!

    Just so Trump would respond defending him.

    • Rick Hill

      China proly has some for rent.

  • Shibusa
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

    • Jenny

      Aww that is cute they think the transition team hiring manager was misled!

    • Sophia

      And then she was fired at the first excuse they could find.

      • Rick Hill

        “This’ll shut her up”

        NOT!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Mishka has not ties to Russia. Is very much independent of Kremlin. To say otherwise is only lies from US Ministry of Justice.

      — Statement of Pres. Donald J. Trump

    • Rick Hill

      Paper trail? Please let there be a paper trail…

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Someone needs to resurrect the “and a goddamned American hero” text in Sally Yates’ wikipedia entry.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        No doubt.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Also, I can’t believe we don’t have a better way to memorialize heroes than Wikipedia. Our society might deserve to collapse.

    • Scrofula

      Even if he had NOT discussed sanctions, what the fuck was he doing talking to the Russians?

      • Shibusa

        Swapping Borscht recipes?

    • Tacoclamgenda

      You know what? I’m not reading this shit tonight. It will be there tomorrow and the gods know for however many days more. But tonight, Pink’s has given the gift of food and music and I threw in the gift of drink as reward for cleaning a whole closet. And I am not giving up this rolling high to all those fuckwads tonight. No way, no how.
      I will, however, read the good parts.

      • Sandy Beaches

        I’m three glasses of wine into my current box. I have the attention span of a gnat. Oh look! Squirrel!

    • Serai 1

      Hm. Makes me wonder if this is what Yates’s firing was really all about.

  • Shoto

    Here we go again with another long-winded, desultory Maddow opening statement. How much airtime will she waste before anyone is able to figure out the point she’s trying to make?

    Gotta be honest, this shtick is getting seriously tedious.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I don’t watch anymore, but I think the fact that everything’s just so much shit, different day, that the long intro doesn’t work anymore. Whatever it’s leading to is horrifying and do I really need to know just HOW fucked up it is. It’s fucked up to infinity, how’s that?

    • Sister the Persister

      I find it less so ever since I started thinking of it as “Quirky U.S. History with Dr. Maddow.” But I do have some sympathy for what Courser added below, that given the pace of horrific things happening, it doesn’t always feel quite right.

      That said, I have learned a lot about context and historical precedent. Also, some good cocktails from yesteryear. And what’s up with that? no cocktail moments anymore? Seems like we need ’em more than ever right now!

    • Serai 1

      I can’t stand her high-school giggling thing, myself. The intros I find interesting because she always talks about stuff I’d never heard about before. But yeah, she could cut the whole thing down (mostly be eliminating all the gossipy nyuk-nyuk stuff).

  • Gregory Brown

    Chuck is cheaper than that pre-cut stew meat, and works just as well. You just have to cut it up yourself.

    • I like to get steak on manager special, but only if I use it up that day. Cause holy fucking good stew batman
      Also broil, chuck, shoulder, rump, etc etc etc

      • Courser_Resistance

        I think I actually bought story stew meat and it was really scrappy. I cut up my own from whatever halfway decent cuts are on special or markdown.

        • yah, I try to never buy stew meat unless the store accidentally gets in a shipment of fillet again.
          Then, zomg, so worth it.

  • Sandy Beaches

    Confession time: I’m a dance mom. Although I’m not one of THOSE dance moms. My kids did compete against the Abbey Miller dance team once and they tried to get me to sign a waiver for photographs. I said, “I can’t…my kids are in the witness protection program.” And, without missing a beat, my then 13 year old said, “Mom, I don’t think you’re supposed to tell that.”

    • suziq

      Smart kid!

      • Sandy Beaches

        Bragging time: when she was in kindergarten, her teacher wrote on her report card, “has a sense of humor beyond her years” – She’s now at OSU and I’m STILL chuffed about that comment :D

        • suziq

          Excellent! Sense of humor is about the most important quality in my opinion. When my oldest was in first grade her teacher said she would through out amusing comments when they occurred to her and figured they would go over the kids’ heads. Except my kid laughed at them and impressed the teacher. Also started reading adult books that summer because there were no kid books around.

          • Sandy Beaches

            On the last Tuesday of the month, you can put out one large item for the garbage men to haul away. We passed a King sized mattress and my kids thought it would be awesome to use as a gymnastics mat. I told them that there is no way we could get it home. My youngest said, “we could put it on the roof.” I said, “we don’t have a way to tie it down.” But she said, “I could sit on it.” And my oldest started singing, “I can show you the world…Shining, shimmering, splendid
            Tell me, princess, now when did
            You last let your heart decide?” I had to pull the car over because I was laughing so hard.

    • I love you and your kid

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Me toooo.

        • Sandy Beaches

          Yay. I lurked on this site for years before signing up. I didn’t think anyone would like me. But now I feel like Sally Fields.

          • Tacoclamgenda

            IKR?!!

          • Now i feel bad that i followed a writer here from the Gawker cull, and got hooked. I was not commenting my first 20 minutes on the site. But i already had a Disqus account from The AV Club

          • WomanInThePersistence

            So pleased to meet you!

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Sally Fields in that movie with Bert Reynolds or Sally Fields in that movie with the tap dancing dead husband? Inquiring minds want to know!

          • Tacoclamgenda

            I’m assuming Sally Fields when she won an Academy Award.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Holy shit! I had to Google her to seem smart, but I had no idea how prolific her career has been! Kiss Me Goodbye was a staple of my satellite tee vee childhood, along with Smokey and the Bandit, but it turns out she’s pretty good at that acting stuff! Go Sally!

          • Sandy Beaches

            I was thinking, “Norma Rae,” but since I’m actually as deep as a parking lot puddle, maybe “Smokey and the Bandit” is more appropriate.

    • Rick Hill

      Did one of the others pull out a whacking stick and look at the inquisitive party meaningfully?

      • Sandy Beaches

        what’s a “whacking stick?” Is that something Brad yields?

        • Rick Hill

          It stops people from asking too many questions…or helps them forget what they just heard.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            In the world of UNIX systems administrators, it’s called a LART: A Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool.

        • snark-lurker

          Tanya Harding

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      You’re a good mom. Henceforth, consider yourself up voted for life. Also too, I have a current teen who vacuums, makes mac & cheese, and respects women…

      • snark-lurker

        there is something your not telling us or you would not be here ARE YOU A CLOSET PANTS WEARER?

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          I only wear pants to court, I swear! Ask the folks at Trixie’s Liquor! They know my pants habits better than anyone!

          • Sister the Persister

            I don’t know… that Trixie is a sly one – you could be paying her off to swear to your pantless state.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            I’d say pix or GTFO, but I wouldn’t blind y’all with pix. Because I love you. You’re welcome.

      • Sandy Beaches

        It’s not all that hard to be a good parent, but it’s really easy to be a shitty one. Bless you for doing it right. :)

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Right is what it takes. The next generation is our responsibility… I’m happy to send one man into the frey, raised up good.
          And, thank you for the props! Props mean a lot to me :-)

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Wahoo! A dancer and a smart ass in the best possible way. Damn!

  • Rick Hill

    More fun songs for the times
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEv3LpXNX8U

  • zerosumgame0005

    How about a nice Sheppard’s pie recipe? the best one I make I put either straight chili pepper in the meat, or taco seasoning and sometimes a few dollops of salsa on top of the taters. yummy!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Been there, done that, got the postcards.” — 45*

    • cmd resistor

      Just listened to Anderson Cooper interview the author of this piece. So Sally Yates told White House and they sat on it. Even though CNN bugs me as a rule they were actually doing an OK job considering.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Dense wanted to be misled.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    This looks goooooood and I plan to try it, but how do you chop up all that stuff in 15 minutes or less, Pink? Do you have any fingertips left? Are you secretly Jacques Pépin? My knife skills are pretty sad, but damn.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • That’s what TX actually looks like, isn’t it?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        eh, that’s what Texans’ stomachs look like.

        The actual geography is a bit dustier – at least out my way way.

        • Scrofula

          And you’ve got those crazy lights out in Marfa.

    • Suttree

      Mmmmm, brisket. And not the stupid Palin kind.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lurvvveee me some brisket.

        • Suttree

          It has that nice smoke ring also too.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            IKR? It’s a touch overdone even for me, but not by much.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Gotta represent my hometown and reveal that Texas BBQ was the inspiration for the McRib.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/55377eeed09e052d7b41413d31c29a8ad4e9ef7941b5dc63d01f64e889959069.jpg

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      So, uh, Texas is in need of meat thermometers?

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      That from Franklin’s?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        dunno, just found it on the interwebz.

    • snark-lurker

      1st class in grilling with cutting torch?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Somethin’s wrong with your ‘cue. Needz moar swine and vinegar.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
  • Tacoclamgenda

    Ahhhhh. Pinkham, I find you columns delightful! I went off to listen to Free Bird. Sometimes all I can remember is the calling out of FREE BIRD a zillion times the memory of which nudges the actual sound of the song aside. So there you are sending me off to open myself to so many memories. And THEN you toss in seemingly diametrically opposed memories of good old beef stew. Beef stew, stalwart food carrying traditions across boundaries. But isn’t that what Free Bird has evolved into as well? Stalwart memories, even if you have never been to any show where folks called out Free Bird, the memories are imbedded. We have survived long enough that our rebellions are now traditions.
    And then you add hoison sauce and new traditions are tumbled in with the old. And that’s the new Law of Pinkham.

  • The Rachel Maddow show is scaring the shit out of me already tonight. How is the rest of Wonkette doing?

    • BloviateMe

      **raises hand**

      We’re fucked. Rachel is scaring me too.

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        What’s she saying?

        • BloviateMe

          Basically a bullet point list of the incompetence of the Trump admin when it comes to foreign diplomacy. It’s frightening when listed out.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            Yeah. I know.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Numb. DDSS.

    • cmd resistor

      We had CNN on and they weren’t being total assholes but then I was thinking, why isn’t Rachel on, when it was 9:15, but I turned the whole thing off. What is she saying?

      • Oh, you know. Trump is incompetent, his cabinet members are incompetent, Flynn is vulnerable to blackmail, this admin’s approach to foreign policy (and everything else) is chaos, not only do we not know what the hell is going to happen next, the rest of the world doesn’t either, and there’s no telling how countries — like say, China — are going to react to all this incompetence and chaos, and that’s making the world a scary-ass place to be. You know, things we already mostly know, but it’s scary when it’s all laid out for you. It will be a wonder if we’re not in WWIII by the time Trump is impeached or whatever.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          And California is flooding!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • Sandy Beaches

      We’re drinking.

      • Yeah, that’s my plan too. I just have to finish working first. I need to write about 300 more words about trends in the fitness industry, then I can crack the bottle of wine I have in the kitchen.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    So, is Flynn into pee hookers as well?

  • shaar dula

    what do you mean “do your job”, chaffetz is doing his job.

    True, Chaffetz, after his unending probes of the Obama administration and Hillary Clinton, hasn’t shown any appetite to examine, say, the Trump administration’s ties to Russia or its many conflicts of interest. But the chairman has shown determination to probe, without fear or favor, the threat to America posed by Sid the Science Kid.

    The chairman of the powerful panel — the main investigative committee in the House — sent a letter to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention demanding to know why, in an attempt to raise awareness of the Zika virus, “CDC appears poised to make a sole source award to the Jim Henson Company for $806,000 to feature Sid the Science Kid in an educational program about the virus.”

    Scandalous!

    • Muppets are so corruptive! Won’t someone think of the children?!?!

    • shaar dula

      also from that article forgot to post.

      Sid, for readers not familiar with PBS children’s programming, is a preschool cartoon character. Like President Trump, Sid is orange. Unlike Trump, he is highly inquisitive.

      rofl!!!

    • Scrofula

      What was it that made RWNJ all anti-Zika? It’s a disease. Carried by mosquitos. It involves babbies and brown people, so it fits their world-view.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      We can certainly count on Detective Chaffetz to clearly see the target, observe the clues pointing to the target…and then unerringly fire his weapon in a completely random direction.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Zika? Did Donald get a new wife?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Why the fuck not tell the children, Chaffetz? Knowledge is clearly wasted on adults.

  • Sophia

    Looks like Pete Souza Obama’s WH Photographer may have taken a shot at Trump

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f1b13307aec014dc05fb53e745701fb674e61afc665504772790ce0e2d2d0322.jpg

    • May have?

      • Sophia

        Don’t want to be accused of spreading FAKE NEWS1111111

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Frightening that a photographer (no insult intended in any way) has to school those dipshits on security protocol.
      What do folks keep saying around here? Oh, yeah, we are so fucked.

      • data_ninja

        Well, they obviously know how to focus on the serious issues. I’ll bet they shuttered when they heard about the film-sy security practices.

        /runs away before being chased away

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          You have exposed yourself as a bad punster. You need to f-stop.

        • Shibusa

          Stick around. We’ll see what develops.

    • SayItWithWookies

      No wonder the price of membership at Mar-a-Lago went up — now every country is going to want to have a spy having dinner there every night.

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Laughing asthma…

    • cmd resistor

      I read a story the other day about how he seems to be trolling Trump on his instagram account, based on the Obama photos he has posted. This is even better.

  • aktlib101

    RawStory: “Yale historian warns America only has a year — maybe less — to save the republic from Trump”:
    “While many Americans believed that the democratic institutions that are presently in place would rein in the president’s actions, Snyder said, “It is all about him all of [the] time, it is not about the citizens and our political traditions.” Snyder also noted that Trump doesn’t actually seem to care about the institutions of American democracy at all, and instead has treated institutions and the law “as barriers to the goal of permanent kleptocratic authoritarianism.”
    and, drawing parallels with Germany of the past:
    ““It is obviously the case that the point of the Muslim ban is to instruct Americans that Muslims are an enemy: a small, well-assimilated minority that we are supposed to see not as our neighbors or as fellow citizens but as elements of an international threat,” Snyder said. He added, “More than that, Trump’s policy is a provocation, which is probably meant to provoke an event like the assassination of the German diplomat Ernst Eduard vom Rath on November 7 1938.”
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/02/yale-historian-warns-america-only-has-a-year-maybe-less-to-save-the-republic-from-trump/?comments=disqus

  • sarj0

    I must be travlin on now

  • Gosala

    I sent a letter to little Marco telling him vote against Judge Gorsuch.

    This is his response. Maybe I’ll have something coherent to say when I pick my jaw up off the floor.

    Dear [Gosala],

    Thank you for taking the time to express your thoughts regarding President Donald Trump’s appointments. Understanding your views helps me better represent Florida in the United States Senate, and I appreciate the opportunity to respond.

    Article II, Section 2 of the U.S. Constitution states the president “shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States[.]” Like President Obama and other U.S. presidents, President Trump will carry out this responsibility throughout his time in office. He will fill thousands of positions in the federal government, and some of these nominations will require confirmation by the Senate.

    In November 2013, Democrats controlled the Senate, and they chose to change the Senate’s longstanding rules so that they could confirm most of President Obama’s nominees with only 51 votes. Before Democrats changed the rules, 60 votes were required to confirm a presidential nominee. Now, President Trump’s nominees must meet a lower threshold for confirmation, just as President Obama’s nominees have since Democrats changed the rules in November 2013.

    I take the Senate’s “advice and consent” duty very seriously, and I will ask serious questions of President Trump’s nominees no matter who they are. I also believe it is important for nominees to demonstrate a servant’s heart and a willingness to put the Constitution, the rule of law and the American people’s best interests before his or her own personal preferences. The American people should have confidence in those who are appointed to govern, and you can rest assured that my staff and I will thoroughly vet each nominee the Senate considers.

    It is an honor and a privilege to serve you as your United States Senator. I will keep your thoughts in mind as I consider these issues and continue working to ensure America remains a safe and prosperous nation.

    Sincerely,

    Marco Rubio
    United States Senator

    I guess what I found astounding is paragraph 2, which seems to argue that as long as we follow the letter of the law, there’s nothing you can do about it: neener,neener

    And in paragraph 3 he blames the Democrats. Neener, neener.

    • Constitution states the president “shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States[
      That part has me raging. OHHHH unless it is the black man in the last year huh???

    • shaar dula

      thanks for sharing this.

    • Shoto

      “Was the stroke job good for you?”

      — Little Marco

    • Dear Li’l Marco:

      Please confirm to me how you provided advice and consent to Justice Garland and the other judical appointments made during President Obama’s second term. You and your party are traitors to the United States Constitution for willingly accepting hostile, foreign interference in what are supposed to be free and fair elections.

      You bring shame to your office, the Seante and the Republic.

      • Gosala

        I like it. Can I use it?

    • Tiny kaiju

      I see he has forgotten that the Senate GOP didn’t do their jobs of confirming Obama’s nominees during his first term. Which prompted the Democrats to change the rules, just to get some of the positions filled.

      • Gosala

        Imma gonna use that also too.

      • MilwaukeeKent

        If I remember the circumstances, it was particularly the record number of unconfirmed judges that triggered the semi-nuclear option. But those fuckers blocked damned near everything…and to see these rat-fuckers rewarded for their perfidy is a kick to the gut.

    • Suttree

      Did the staffer who wrote this die of shame soon after?

    • cmd resistor

      Hey, I got that same letter twice (responses to emails about Tillerson and DeVos). He did, in the beginning when making noises about not being sure about Tillerson, send one that said he had concerns about him but was going to do his job and blah blah, examine blah blah.

      • cmd resistor

        Also, too, he wrote a really stupid response to my email about Merrick Garland, which essentially said, we are entitled to a Scalia Clone so fuck off, libtard.

        • Gosala

          See, this arrogance needs to be publicized.

          It’s clear he wants to run for precedent again.

          And he’s trying to stake out a place as the reasonable one who will heal the partisanship (I’m thinking of his speech about comity after the Warren/Mitchel affair)

          Letters like this put the lie to it.

          And unlike most senators, who care only about their own state, little Marco needs to worry about a national audience

          • cmd resistor

            I thought he had already answered my DeVos email but apparently he hadn’t because I got an email last night after I turned the computer off. He now just has a form letter for any nominee and doesn’t even bother to tell you which one he’s talking about.

    • cmd resistor

      There is a planned protest outside his Miami office tomorrow.

    • Sophia

      “Now, President Trump’s nominees must meet a lower threshold for confirmation”

      Yea, but they have been setting the bar pretty fucking low

      • Gosala

        Thanks for that. Rubio means, of course, a smaller number of votes. What you point out, correctly, is the quality has declined

        • Might maybe point out that the reason they lowered it was because even when he picked one of their fucking people they still blocked his nominees

          • Gosala

            Yes, I intend to.

          • :)
            No snark, just a second, but I think the main reason I like to drop by, besides being a chatty chatter as I am, is cause I always learn things from you fine folks.

  • Ok. So it’s 930pm where i am. I have just started a dryer cycle that runs and hour. My building supposedly locks the laundry room ay 10pm. So, i am camping in the laundry room so i have clean underwear and socks for tomorrow

    • Scrofula

      You don’t just get a key that no one uses cause you can just open the door through the window?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • snark-lurker

      undies: go commando or wear yesterdays inside out.
      socks: inside out, rub soles real good with Right Guard

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Yeah! This guy must be a Liebural Elite.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        You magnificent bastard.

      • Shan McStroppyPants

        Thongs are best. Just keep rotating them 120 degrees.

    • shaar dula

      lots of load? if smaller load you can finish drying the semi-dry clothes in the apartment.

      • Have my bath sheet heavy towel in there too

        • shaar dula

          spread it out on a chair? and if you don’t have an early day tomorrow sit on it with a hair dryer. :D

          • I do have an early day, hence the Wonking and hovering

          • shaar dula

            now you know why the intern is sometimes late. :D:D

        • Tacoclamgenda

          Smart!

    • Gosala

      Clean underwear is very important.

      Don’t ask how I know that.

      • Assuming your mother told you.

        • Gosala

          Yeah, yeah. That’s it.

          *nods just a little too vigorously*

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Because you were once in a car accident?

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      Go comando

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • I understand like three words in that tweet.

      • jowgajen

        I was good up until configuring.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Mark Russinovich made the Systems Internals toolkits for Windows. It’s is arguable that he knows windows more thoroughly than a lot of the people in Redmond. Sure, he’s an architect for Azure, but the man knows his stuff. Sysmon is one of the tools he wrote. Lsass is the security subsystem for managing credentials.

        • That….really does not explain what the mimi thing is or why you would go about stealing passwords from some poor lass

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Here’s the source code to mimikatz…
            https://github.com/gentilkiwi/mimikatz

          • Yeah I am hopeless. Is this fun for hackers or something to stop the hackers?
            But thank you!

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            There’s a difference?

          • HA! yes. Well. maybe? I don’t want someone else’s stuff. But I am cool with other people not cracking into mine to yank my pitiful pennies out, ya know?
            Not really greed, got two kids to feed and all.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Well, in old school parlance, a hacker was someone that looked at the difference between what code was supposed to do and what it actually did. In that space is where security exploits are found and fixed. So the term can go either way. Black hats exploit, white hats discover black hats and fix the code.

          • like spy vs spy only without the funny fold in on the back cover?

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            A bit more like Al Jaffee himself, making both images of the fold in at the same time.

    • Bill D. Burger

      I believe this is the visual, for those not familiar with the cyber bundling, monitoring and password exploitation experience.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b78d587584530c51618393a451c82b41f420ebd8035c00f63b63b960d11e7399.jpg

    • data_ninja

      This seems like a complicated way to catch a program. Wouldn’t a virus/malware scan pick it up, especially one that is constantly monitoring the system?
      From a research standpoint, I get it that it’s neat to see how the cyber-sausage is made (I cringed typing that).

  • aktlib101

    I think this Administration will HAVE to fake or provoke some horrible attack (terrorism-like?) to legitimize their own rule, cut our civil liberties and institute true authoritarianism, Russia-style. And spineless/corrupt Congress Retardicans will cheerfully support it.

    • Well yeah. That is the natural progression of these things and, I for one, think the very reason Rince fuckerhead backed Trump so fast. All those properties, owned by the president, just waiting…waiting…waiting….all over the globe.

    • Shibusa

      And also blame Obama for it.

      • ooo no, now they get to blame those judges!

        • Tacoclamgenda

          Bingo!

        • jowgajen

          Must pronounce un-E-lec-ted as if it were four words while blaming them.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Hillary.

    • calliecallie

      Reichstag fire. Yes.

    • Amy!

      Yes, it will undoubtedly be traced to the Illegal Immigrant Voters Front for Terror and Mopery.

      In response, 45 will reserve terror and mopery for sole use by white male native-born Americans (white hood optional, but recommended), while vigorously ensuring that not a single dead, foreign, female, black, or otherwise ineligible voter is registered, will revoke all visas, deport all visitors (including green card holders), and preemptively arrest the entire population who have even one drop of African blood, remanding them to “work release.”

      But the Democratic Party won’t be outlawed until October 30 2018, so there’s that. Solid law enforcement will be posted outside voting locations to apprehend any criminals supporting that proscribed terrorist organization by means of voting for them.

      *sigh* The sad part of that rant is that it isn’t unimaginable.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      The Soviet Republicans will quietly go along with it just in return for lower taxes and less regulation. You know, to get government off our backs…

  • Sophia

    Caption Contest going on with “Meanwhile In Canada.” Hopefully this is posted so you can see some of the answers.

    https://scontent-yyz1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16708579_1248832318497130_5945508680267404360_n.jpg?oh=cc04d7b91347e0b003faef3a890bd10c&oe=58FE65AB

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I don’t get it – but I think trump is saying, “You know a moose could fit in my huge hands.”

      • Sophia

        Yeh it didn’t work, I was trying to pull it off my faceplace, but we can have our own. My favourite on there so far was “That’ll be $100 for the White House tour I just gave you. Come on cough it up pretty boy, that wall ain’t gonna pay for itself.”

      • shaar dula

        mouse. you meant mouse didn’t you?

    • Sandy Beaches

      “Tell me the truth, does my hand smell like the urinal cake I just licked.”

    • Apple Scruff

      It just occurred to me that all of us Americans pining over photos of Trudeau’s visit must be similar to when other people went crazy over Obama when he visited their countries.

      We totally didn’t realize how envied we were because we had the coolest, hottest leader in the world. Now, the Canadians are us.

    • CSIS told where that thing has been. No, thank you very much. There are not enough hand sanitizer and decontamination showers in the world

    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump: “Just look at those yooooge’ hands Stretch’! Ya’ ever see hands that yoooooge’? You know what they say about guys with yooooooooge’ hands dontcha? Huh, huh, huh, huh….”

      Trudeau: (Thinking to himself.) “Just like my Grandma’s hands, so smooth and tiny and white. Delicate really.”

      • Shan McStroppyPants

        I went to live in the U.K. and got handsed by a great auntie of my XH’s who had been in The War . She was like (in a funny non insulting way) “Bless you, your hands are so soft! You haven’t done a day’s work in your life, have you, dear?”

        Compared to her, no. She was in the WAAF.

    • Yeah not touching that with a ten foot moose.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      “There isn’t enough Purell in the world for me to shake that hand again…”

    • Vienna Woods
    • pussygrabber in chief

      “:sigh: I miss Barry’s hands.”

  • Apple Scruff

    Does anyone really believe Pence didn’t know about Flynn’s conversations with the Russians?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No more than I ever believed Poppy Bush was “out of the loop” on the arms sales to Iran.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I wish I could use my old job to set up a couple of front companies and utilize some CIA cut-outs to upfist this more.

        • calliecallie

          WTF did you used to do, and why didn’t we know about this sooner?

          • Tacoclamgenda

            You know UTM’s been dropping bread crumbs of late. Hmmm

          • He’s deep throat

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I used to tend bar in Reno. I walked past the registered offices of Keeler & Tate, LLC every day on my way to work.

          • Yr. Gma

            Did you ever shoot man just to watch him die?

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Wanted too, but some dude in black got to him first.

          • calliecallie

            I thought you were some kind of secret agent special ops guy. But bartender in Reno is probably almost like that.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      No. :)

      • Apple Scruff

        They keep talking like he’s going to get fired. I don’t see it because we know Trump was in on it, but it would kind of be hilarious. I wonder if he squeals like a pig if that happens.

        • Shibusa

          Pretty sure that’s why he’s not fired yet.

          • yyyaz

            May have to put in a call for some of that special Kremlin “tea” to be served to him.

          • Apple Scruff

            Of course. And they said that Sally Yates warned the White House Flynn was compromised, but they didn’t do anything. They may be forced now that the word is out. I guess we’ll see.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    I hate to give President Littlehands any ideas but, Donald could make the Oroville dam a cause célèbre about the importance of infrastructure monitoring and (re-)construction.