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A note from me! Your editrix! Don’t you dare wipe this pretty smile off my face.

Hello darlings! Our president is a bad, crazy man, and he is doing bad, crazy things, and you have chosen Wonkette as your daily (or couple-times-monthly) Sanity Pill. We know we make a big difference (for the better) in your lives, because of how many of you have not killed yourselves yet! (Please continue to not do so.)

Wonkette is important for many reasons: the non-suicides, the community, how many of you met and are boning because of the comments, the way Alex Jones thinks we are “fake news,” how we keep you abreast of events with actual informed analysis about important public policy but we’re not above dishing on Kellyanne Conway biting her nails to the quick, and how we have solemnly promised that we will Never Stop Mocking Those Fuckers.

Haha, I said abreast.

More and more of you are supporting your Wonkette, through visits (1.7 million visits in January, from 989,455 people, reading over more four million pages), direct donations or our “ad-fewer” subscription (WHICH PEOPLE LOVE!).

But the whole “visits” thing isn’t helping us anymore, because those same four million pageviews resulted in slightly more than a third of what we earned in January 2016. “Hmmm, is that good?” you are wondering, and I am here to assure you that IN FACT IT IS NOT!

Our ads are ugly, they waste your browser space, they piss you off, they’ve actively tried to censor our content, and most importantly THEY ARE NOT PAYING ME ANY MONEY.

Go fuck yourself, ads! Wonkette is going AD-FREE.

Donate

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In order for Wonkette to function though, we still need cash. Namely, we need roughly $30,000 a month. (WHAT? I KNOW!) We pay Dok and Evan a solid living wage, we’re beefing up our writing corps to try to keep up with all the bullshit these fuckers are throwing at us, we have big server expenses every month, and we (meaning Shy and I) work a combined 90 or so hours a week, so I would like us to make $6,000 to $7,000 a month (combined) for that, which oh my God if one more asshole on the Internet says is “greedy,” I will reach through this computer monitor and STRANGLE HIM UNTIL HE IS AN OOZY PUDDLE OF CORPUSCLES. Also, we’re still paying off Ken’s $47 and a sandwich from when we bought this joint.

Also too, I wouldn’t say no to making even more than that, like I am Fergie, Duchess of York.

You all are already sending us about half of what we need to continue Telling Fuck You to Power in donations or subscriptions. We humbly ask that if you are already paying $4.99 or more for “ad-fewer,” you continue to do so. (Shy thinks you will stop paying for your ad-fewer if there are no ads to block. But I say we’re all in this together, and you’ll keep giving your bits to give everyone the “ad-fewer” you’ve been enjoying. BECAUSE YOU ARE LIBERAL LIKE THAT.) If you’re already giving us money every month and would like to jack it up, we will allow it! (Unless you are poor, please do not give us any more money if you are poor.) But what we’re really asking is for the 985,000 or so of you per month who come through and haven’t thought to throw us a bone to do so. (See, that was only almost a dick joke, that’s how serious this is!)

Oh, one other thing: We might still keep the Arcadia Power ad, because the planet is going to need all the help it can get. And there’s that one Amazon portal, because if you’re going to buy through Amazon anyway, you might as well make them give some subversives a cut. Also, our hat ads are never going away, because I will not rest until I see HELL. NO. hats on every second head throughout the land. And this chair. And this lamp. And this ashtray. Just this chair and this lamp and this ashtray. Just kidding, no chairs or lamps or ashtrays, and definitely not that popup ad at the bottom.

We’ve been edging closer and closer to this for months, but it’s a YOOOGE leap of faith. (Shy in particular thinks it’s a very dangerous idea, and we will STARVE, FREEZING, in the streets. Please tell Shy he is silly to EVER DOUBT YOU.) You have been super generous to us already, and we’re not trying to dun you for more. But we figure you like us — you really like us! — and this whole “advertising” situation is untenable for us all.

We’re going to try this for a month. I think we’ll make it! And if we have to put those bullshit ads back in, mama’s gonna be PISSED. Or maybe just cry some.

Here, have a baby, because I love you.

LITTLE PEOPLE!
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Want to make your donation recurring? Look over in the sidebar! (Only works with PayPal so far.)

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  • #RESIST

  • memzilla Ω

    Can I just endorse my George Soros check over to you directly?
    #donnaroseneedsmunniez

  • aureolaborealis

    I will continue to make it rain*, even if the ads it stops no longer need stopping.

    * more like hail … pennies and nickels.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Will we knock it off with the Russian pee hookers already?

      • aureolaborealis

        I let them take a break while I typed that. Is that what you meant?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          A lavatory break?
          Asking for a friend.

          • aureolaborealis

            No. Re-loading with vodka and borscht. I like pink.

  • Skeptical_thinker

    I will check between the cushions on the fainting couch …

    Stale peanuts and a used condom is all I can find. Which one would you like?

    Why not both?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Word of advice: don’t eat peanuts while you’re having sex. Peanut breath is not sexxxy.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Uuummmm and you know this how?

        • Gayer Than Thou

          School of Hard Cocks Knocks.

      • Yr. Gma

        Also danger of choking.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        But, penis breath is ok.

  • Me not sure

    I, for one, will clutch my ad fewer membership ever closer to whatever body part will benefit most from having it near, because fuck those guys.

    • dslindc

      It benefits all body parts, like coconut oil, I assume.

      • Me not sure

        Coconut oil, the breakfast of champions.

  • Wild Cat

    Can’t I just pay you with the latest gossip about what Phoebe Maltz Bove is saying about you?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    1.7 million visits in January, from 989,455 people, reading over more four million pages

    Are those “Spicer numbers” or are those real numbers?

    • rebecca

      would I spicer you???

      • h4rr4r

        Is that a sex thing?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’m an old spicer m’self.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Mostly illegal readers, probably.

      • Yr. Gma

        I am not very legal in most places.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      You know one of them isn’t the Pres because he can’t read.

    • FlownOver

      Is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        No foolin’.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I’m even happier to continue my ad-fewer account knowing that it is going a small way to help make the Wonkette experience better for all! Seriously, those ads SUCKED and we all deserve suck-free Wonketting.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Those of us who have not managed to hook up via the non-comments have definitely been having suck-free Wonketting.

  • h4rr4r

    Just for some maths, $7000 x 12 is $84,000 a year, for two.
    Shy gets $44,00 per year and Rebecca $40,000. I don’t like it anymore than you do, but this is America. That is NOT A LOT OF MONEY AT ALL!

    Server expenses is something to look into though. Some of those places are a rip off.

    If this means my phone battery does not get drained super fast visiting this site, I will donate mores.

    • rebecca

      no, silly, I make way more than Shy does, because #matriarchy

      • Oblios_Cap

        well, that’s ok then.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And matriarchy means abreasts…

    • sw19bender

      Surely the Editrix should only get 76% of whatever Shy makes?

      *runs away very fast*

    • Little Lulu ResistanceFighter

      Also, there’s our future overlord,who lives with them, to consider.

      • h4rr4r

        They should be glad she does not need daycare.

        That costs me more than my mortgage.

        • Shan

          Wait until it’s a teenager.

          • h4rr4r

            Then he can get a job. I worked from 15 on and so can he.

            I knew I had to figure out what I wanted to do, because it sure was not going ro be washing dishes or cleaning floors.

          • Shan

            My son has pretty much always wanted to be a mechanic so that’s what he’s doing now. He’s smart, just not academically inclined so college was never an option he was interested in. My daughter is a very talented artist so I suspect she’s NEVER moving out.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            My daughter initially moved out to share a house with three other girls. That’s what the kids do now.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            McDonald’s. It only took 6 months at McDonald’s to kick my ass in gear to get serious about a life plan. I mean I had one at 13, but I used my McDonald’s money to pay for school applications.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Whoo yes I am supporting the collective.

  • jesuswasablack

    I’d love to donate, when you set it up so I can use paypal without filling out my personal info on your page I’ll donate?

    • Go check…

      Now accepting major credit cards directly here at Wonkette…

      Also, amazon payments.

      • sw19bender

        Starbucks gift cards?

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Exposure Dollars?

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Whore diamonds?

          • Notreelyhelping

            Chickens as barter?

        • Yr. Gma

          I bet Donna Rose would like the cake pops.

          • Shan

            My daughter LOVES them.

        • FlownOver

          Quatloos?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Rubles?

        • EBT

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          Shiny glass beads and HBC blankets?

          • MynameisBlarney

            hehehe…

            Ass beads.

          • Querolous

            Pendelton or GTFO!

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        Beaver pelts?

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Well, hello Christine O’Donnell!!

        • SkinlessGenderlessMan

          Used to see those in Playboy, before the Nair Revolution.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Brazilian Wax Libelz!!1!1

      • proudgrampa

        Ameros?

      • PUAAN Pussy Has Resist Clawz

        imma switch over from paypal and increase my monthly as soon as i can get sober again and crawl out from under the bed.

    • And also, it’s SSL, because security.

      • jesuswasablack

        I’m not filling out the info page, you should set it up that I can go to paypal without filling out you info page, the end!

        • Oh… You mean this link, which has been on the sidebar of every page since 2014?

          I’ll get right on that…

          /wink

          • jesuswasablack

            I’m trying to donate through the page you have setup on this post, no need to be an asshole your asking us for donations remember?

          • Not being an asshole, being helpful. The donate page also had that link for years, but we rolled it all into one for simplicity sake.

          • jesuswasablack

            OK

          • h4rr4r

            He makes a good point though.

            Swap out the link on this page if that one is easier.

            Most folks aren’t going to look or ask. They will just abandon. Do you want donations or to FREEZE AND STARVE AND DIE ON THE STREET?

          • Trust me, we’ve received WAY more “PAYPAL IS THE DEBBIL!” complaints than we ever got “I don’t want to share my info” complaints…

            Also, that link is on that page, too, it’s on every page…

          • FlownOver

            Temper, temper… we all tolerate a little intra-Wonkster snark around here. Makes us stronger for the Resistance.

  • dslindc

    I will happily keep my ad-fewer subscription. Perhaps we could rename it the Monthly Fluffer™ subscription, what to go with the dick jokes.

    • rebecca

      oh I like that!

    • Yr. Gma

      I like my ad fewer thing. Without it I would get ad morer. Or something.

    • Little Lulu ResistanceFighter

      Giving Wonkette money each month makes me feel like I’m actually feeding the resistance. In fact, I just checked my PayPal account, and I’m giving TWICE a month, which was a mistake initially. Not now, though – I’m so proud to give twice a month that I just gave an EXTRA $100 for this month because of the generosity of some of my clients last week. I’m old, and I’ve already bought everything I’ve ever wanted since I was 12; the house and car are paid for; I’ve stopped drinking (though LATELY I’ve been tempted) and I no longer eat to excess. I don’t have cable. I give to Wonkette and Planned Parenthood every month because it’s the right thing to do. RESIST!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I am proud to be a Premium Elite Platinum Preferred Business Select A-Group member. My extra Ameros are currently going to other communist organizations like Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, and Swing Left. Also, my mom says if I want a bigger allowance I need to start doing my chores, and I’m all “as if!”

  • DainBramage

    I’ll keep my subscription. Those ads were horrible. Before I went ad-fewer, they routinely made my CPU glow with the heat of 1000 suns.

  • Chadwells

    Sawbuck given!!! Ad-fewer renewer!!

  • Courser_Resistance

    Ha! I figured out last month that I have two ad-fewer donations going through a month. No worries! Keep them both! As long as I have a job, you have my monies, hon.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    I started giving monthly before I realized that ad-fewer was even an option. I’m basically lazy so despite signing up for ad-fewer, I haven’t stopped my monthly contribution to support the booze-buying habits of our various editor/writer-types. Which means the Wonketorium is double-dipping me (dirty!). I’ll now feel better about my lazy ass and presume there was a plan all along. Enjoy all the monies!

    • I’m kind of in the same boat. I signed up for the ad-fewer once. Forgot about it, and then signed up again. I noticed that I was getting two payments going to Wonkette. But I thought about it and went, “Eh, I’m fine with that.”

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I’d probably just spend the second payment on hookers and blow if I cancelled it, so everybody wins. Well, except the drug-dealing hookers.

  • Edith Prickly

    NO MORE TOE FUNGUS CURES!!

    • h4rr4r

      But what about my crepey skin!

      • V4Virginia, NASTY!

        ONE WEIRD TRICK!

      • Edith Prickly

        I know this one weird trick…

    • Moebym of the Returners

      but they were inspiring!

    • Vincent Ricola

      I will pay all the monies to get rid of that image forever.

    • Notreelyhelping

      We say goodbye to saying goodbye?

    • mPEEg

      Or weird tomato mealyworms…

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Those were sprouted tomato seeds! :-D

      • Edith Prickly

        For real, how gross was that picture?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Was that what those were?

      I always assumed those were ads for Conservative Dating sites.

  • This is like NPR with boobage and peeners.

    • I hate NPR beg-a-thons. Really really really hate them. I admit I would prefer commercials to 3 or 4 times a year beg-a-thons. Plus, there are lots of ads on NPR, so their “ad-free programming” thing is a lie. I far prefer our Wonkette Overlords’ system.

    • jesuswasablack

      Except NPR gives you a made in china coffee cup and a lifetime of junk mail!
      https://bloomerang.co/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/NPR-Mug.jpg

    • aureolaborealis

      And a soul?

  • MynameisBlarney

    I’m gonna actually throw cash moneys at this here site.

    I can pay in pennies, right?

  • chortlingdingo

    Just for you, I’ll double my monthly donation.

    • chortlingdingo

      And by for you, I really mean “for me” because this is the only place I go to keep up with the goings on.

  • Wild Cat

    Can’t you just tell Peter Thiel this site advocates burning homosexuals alive? I’m sure he’d toss you 800 bitcoins.

  • Crank Tango

    Hey I just gave ya ten bucks. Now someone show me their boobs, please and thank you.

  • Arse Grammatica

    Soon after subscribing to add-fewer subscription: skin cleared; bowel movements regular and satisfying; erections reliable and sustained.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      What about that crepey skin? Hmmmmm?

    • xy

      i’d rather my bowel movements be reliable and sustained and my erections regular and satisfying but to each their own.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Okay. you gots some of my sweet muneez.

  • V4Virginia, NASTY!

    I would do more, but I CANNOT, because of the (I’m not kidding) $109K I owe for getting my so-called “education” SADFACE.

    But IF I win the lottery/my ex sacks up and leaves me his house because he was a dick in the 70s/the Soros bucks keep rolling in (did I type that out loud?) I will totally throw you some bonus luv because you guys are THE BOMB.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Am I the only one who made a donation and typed, “Your Mom” in the company name section?

    Also too, if I get billed for $11,412.00 I’m gonna be pissed Rebecca!!11!!

    • Vincent Ricola

      You were the only one until a few seconds ago when I modified the memo line in my check.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Rebecca’s nasty, vile, snark mob – we can’t even make a simple donation without being sarcastic about it.

  • The Witch of Endor

    I just sent you a one-off donation. Sorry I can’t swing more because you guys are a fucking lifeline.

  • mPEEg

    OK, OK… Because you invoked Fergie, whom I remember before the Jenny Craig Weight Watchers stuff as when she was a Real Live Princess Duchess (and before that bimbo what sang for Black Eyed Peashizzle);; and also too for further cattle-prodding my memory bank with that .GIF of The Fonz all-grown-up and silver-mane’d in whichever teevee clip that is – – I GIVE IN. The distance from my purse-strings to my nostalgic popculture-sated heart is narrow, indeed~

  • suziq

    So I signed up for something at some point in time and money comes out of my checking account every month. I recently realized I must have signed up for fewer ads because I don’t get all the crazy shit I hear about. So I could maybe up the monthly thing a little, how do I do that when I don’t know what I did to begin with?

    • Shan
      • suziq

        Thanks Shan! Only problem now is neither my user name (guessing) or email address (I do know what it is!! Really!) will work…

        • Shan

          I’m sorry, I can’t help there. Maybe Shy can since he collects all our personal info for eventual doxxing purposes.

          • suziq

            What? I thought the info was so George Soros could send us our checks for the protesting!

  • BKScooter

    Free content and $5/month for babby pictures is quite a deal!

  • jesuswasablack

    At the risk of getting yelled at again, hows come me witty google pics don’t appear in the post anymore, amazing new feature?

    • rebecca

      somebody said disqus is being a butt about pictures right now.

      I AM NOT YELLING AT YOU.

      • The Witch of Endor

        I’m deleting my post saying essentially the same thing.

      • jesuswasablack

        I was anticipating another thrashing from that shy something or another character about how this had already been discussed!

  • Lesser Tiffany

    I think that last gif is a threat to set a fire somewhere :o

  • Shan

    I want the ads back so I can feel superior when I can’t see them.

    • h4rr4r

      That sounds like something a republican would say.

      • Shan

        IT’S TRUMPAMERICA NOW!!!

        Oh god help me it’s happening already!

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          *douses you with an entire bucket of holy water*

          • Shan

            Whew, thanks! I was feeling my soul shriveling up!

        • aureolaborealis

          It felt great, though, right?

          • Shan

            I’m so transparent.

    • rebecca

      that’s EXACTLY what Shy is afraid of!!

      • Shan

        I was kidding though!!!

        • rebecca

          I know darling. And I think everyone will prove him silly.

        • Creepoman

          That’s how it starts . . .

      • h4rr4r

        Rebecca, Shy,
        Serious talk time.

        I will not pay and look at ads. I did give money in the past, and told myself the adblocker made that ok. It really was not. Other sites I left for the same reason. Either I pay with watching advertising, or with cash, never both. Same reason I don’t have cable, and won’t pay for hulu.

        I think this new way forward, is what the internet needs. It is this or it will be Cable 2.0. We will be paying providers who pay creators and everyone drowns in advertising.

        Now added content, that I am totally cool with and you guys should paywall that shit up! Special threads just for the cool kids.

        • sw19bender

          Totally agree in principle – but as long as there is no ad-creep, I’m certainly willing to accept a couple or three discreet box ads that don’t give me a migraine.
          I can’t believe people pay for cable/satellite and then sit through a roll of adverts every ten minutes. It sounds insane, but like rampant globalisation, everyone seems to shrug and accept it.

          • mailman27

            Speaking of which, I haven’t seen our auld friend “crepey skin” for a while.

          • FlownOver

            Crepey’s still awaiting Senate confirmation.

          • onedollarjuana

            John McCain says he won’t vote for him.

            Changed his mind.

            Nope, he won’t.

            Wait! He will.

            etc., etc.

          • Biff52

            I record almost everything I watch, and zap the ads on my way through a day or so later. I only watch a few shows “live”.

        • Juan de Fuca

          I still pay a monthly subscription to the LA Times for their Sunday paper (which the delivery person aims at every new small shrub I’ve planted in my front yard). I look at it as a small contribution to help keep journalism going. That and Mrs de Fuca wants the coupons.

          If you pay for a newspaper, why not pay just a little something to the online site where you get most of your news? It’s like we all want something for nothing, myself included, which is kinda like mooching in a way.

          • h4rr4r

            The whole advertising thing is why I won’t buy a paper.

            I am waiting for more journalism to be advertising free and subscription based.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Hey what does he think we are, Republicans??

    • Little Lulu ResistanceFighter

      Ok, that’s hilarious.

  • BosGrl

    Upped my monthly. When I get a job, it will be more. I love you guys so much. If I ever hit the lottery I will make sure you get a big chunk!

  • proudgrampa

    Rebecca,

    I just sent a small donation.

    Keep on fighting the good fight. Bless you, Shy and, especially, the Little One.

    Love,

    proudgrampa

  • Vincent Ricola

    I’m still low on funds due to excessive war on christmas supply spending, but I’ll drop a check in the snail mail tomorrow because I love you all very much.

  • MissTaken

    Got my refund from the IRS this week. Enjoy your well-deserved portion!

    And thanks for the boning. Much hotter (and less bigoted!) results than eHarmony!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      It’s like Tinder for poli-smart people.

    • Biff52

      Haven’t seen you here in a year or more!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Oh I’ve been here lots more, recently. Thanks, Trump. I drop in unscheduled, sort of like the Spanish Inquisition (but with fewer judge-y consequences).

        • Biff52

          My reply was to MissTaken, who has been MIA. But then, so have I–I don’t get here too often these days.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            LOL Sorry. Have fun with the talky-talk, kids!

          • Biff52

            So, uh, how you doin’?

          • redarmyzombie

            I disappeared for a while as well, on account of my old computer melting anytime I started up the browser…

          • Biff52

            I just got overwhelmed with the influx of commenters last year, I can’t keep up.

    • bobbert

      Nice to see you.

  • bookish

    Tillerson to navigate State Department under Trump leadership.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/317883-trumps-top-diplomat-enters-pressure-cooker

  • SeekingResistanceBarbie

    Of course I will keep my subscription!
    And as I am rather poorish right now, I will make a donation if/when I get a tax refund.

  • Creepoman

    Best. Corporate Annual Report. Ever!!!

  • Sandy Beaches

    Let the buttsechs begin!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Wait. If it’s not already going on, what did I just do?

      • Sandy Beaches

        I heard we were supposed to pay for it. So I did.

        • Oblios_Cap

          It’s your turn in the barrel.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Righty-ho!

      *gets the mounting block from the tack room*

      • mailman27

        Whoa, Wilbur!

    • MynameisBlarney

      *wheels in 55 gallon drum of Astroglide*

  • wallydog

    Aw WTF I’m already giving you five clams a month through Paypal I’ll jack it up to ten. I don’t care about the ads cuz I use ad-blocker. Neener, neener. Hey I might be passing through Missoula around July 4th. Are youse guys going to be around, I’ll buy ya a beer.

    • rebecca

      depends whether my son is HAVING HIS BABY RIGHT THEN! but email me before you come through, and if we’re here, we’ll drink beers TOGETHER!

      • h4rr4r

        For a lady with a kid that I have seen photographic evidence of, you don’t seem to have a firm grasp on how babby having works.

      • mailman27

        Mozoltov!

      • wallydog

        Will do. I’m meeting up with a bunch of people from DailyKos up in Glacier from 6/28 – 7/2. Come on up and hang with us if you have the time. I’m bringing some Don Julio 1942 tequila. Had to buy it before the dumpster causes a price increase.

      • bobbert

        So is this going to be an actual babby this time?

  • simonlcupcake

    Happily keeping the old ad-fewer. If Soros ever hits me up with that protestin’ check, I’ll kick it to you.

  • rebecca

    lol, my sweet stepson called from school to tell us we had a typo about how many of you met and are “bonding” in the comments.

    We disabused him right quick.

    • Shan

      Has anyone ever done a count?

      • Jennifer R

        I know I have gotten a few offers, and am eyeing a few members of the commentariat myself.

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          I shamelessly offer my fuzzy grey equine butt to all the wrong people. Prolly doesn’t count…

          • Jennifer R

            And which drinky thing can we meet at?

          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            Do you know the freeway rest area just north of Albany?

          • Jennifer R

            Wrong coast RIP.

          • Biff52

            Some of my rejections have been downright rude!

          • bobbert

            You should come up to Groveland some time in the summer, after my chemo is over.

          • Biff52

            I’d love to. I haven’t been through Yosemite since the Rim Fire.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’m a shameless flirt m’self.
            And I’m a fictional 9′ tall space-cat thingy…

          • CindyinEncinitas

            But your posts are the bestest.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • CindyinEncinitas
          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            …Which is why we’re perfect for each other.
            You don’t need to stand on anything.

          • katkelly57

            Give ’em the horn honey.

            ;p

        • Shan

          Good I’m tired of Suttree being the only one gloating about his Wonkette-enabled love life!

          • bobbert

            That’s because the others appear to have settled down.

          • Shan

            Some of us are just still waiting for our turn.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        No but I’ve flirted with an Earl.

        • Shan

          I’ve got one convinced he’s being catfished by an 80yo retired trucker from Florida. We’ll see how that works out in a few weeks…

          • CindyinEncinitas

            OMG dude. So funny.
            btw – I’m getting involved with someone here and it’s kinda getting scary because it’s kinda getting real.

          • Shan

            Weird, huh? I bought a plane ticket…

          • CindyinEncinitas

            OMG Shan. Good for you. I’m sort of teetering on the brink. It’s scary. But it a good way.

          • Shan

            I’m insane, though, so…

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Better to go through life insane than full of regret.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • CindyinEncinitas

            Oh that’s encouraging. Gee.

          • MynameisBlarney

            lol

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I done told you yes arredy. I ain’t playing wit u.

          • MynameisBlarney

            We should talk.

            But I don’t know how to do that without posting contact info I’d rather not be public.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            tell Becca

          • MynameisBlarney

            :D
            I will!
            Right now!

          • CindyinEncinitas

            its my screen name at yahoo

          • MynameisBlarney

            I just emailed Becca and gave her my phone# to pass along to you.
            But I’ll email you now.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Ooh. She told me your name. Neener neener.

          • MynameisBlarney

            LOL

            I totes had a dream about this exchange last night.
            You turned out to be a Russian spy-troll… I was like, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! And I was blaming Wonkette and disqus for it, lol.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Well, but, more importantly, did I weigh 400 lbs?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yes, but it was proportionate.
            All the curves in the right places.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            maybe check your spam?

          • CindyinEncinitas

            well if you’re 9′ tall, proportion is pretty critical.

          • MynameisBlarney

            By the way, did my email ever make it?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I just tried and it didn’t work. :(

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ok, I tried again. This time, with actual correct spelling.

          • Shan

            Yeah. He’s either completely wrong or perfect for me. Makes fun of me for needing a road map to plan a trip to the bathroom and he’s total chaos on legs. We’ll either strangle each other or live happily ever after.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Opposites. So fun. If he fights fair, you’ll be fine.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Every single time I’ve put myself out there in the past 5 years I have been smacked down. Every. Single. Time. But you will surely have better luck. Somebody has to.

          • Shan

            Eh…maybe. We’ll let you know how it goes!

          • Tony West

            Can you post the video?

          • Shan

            I’ll see if he has a tripod.

        • msanthropesmr

          Are you his duchess? Is his real name Speedo?

        • Zippy W Pinhead
    • mailman27

      The extraneous “D” theory was sorely tested when I posted “we are done” after the last election.

    • puredog

      Bonding is a charming, though not inevitable, side-effect, though.

    • redarmyzombie

      Oh, that poor sweet innocent child…

    • Hold on. He hunts, _and_ goes to school? Impersonating a grown-up who’s resourceful and learned?

      Did I wake up in 1973 again?

    • AJ Milne

      There’s a clause in the EULA. Section iii) subsection a) clause 2): ‘Upfisting may or may not be figurative’.

      (Always read the fine print.)

  • sw19bender

    *Okay rant mode on*
    I am merely a shiny metal-assed robot from the future, but occasionally I am right about something* : and this insane descent down the hyperkinetic ‘quantity over quality’ advertising module that the clearing houses (or whatever they’re called) lugenpressed all over the interwebs in recent years, is one time I am right.
    Guess why I use adblocker? It’s precisely because the industry has projectile-vomited ads over everything and devalued the experience (especially the news – maybe why do people don’t take this stuff seriously any more?)
    It’s a house of cards at best, and a pyramid scheme at worst.
    Especially when (usually the papers) started berating readers for daring to ad-block to shield oneself from said projectile vomiting of migraine-inducing boxes and pop up from flaring up all over one’s screen.
    In the words of the late, great Bill Hicks: “Marketing people. Kill yourselves.”
    A nice, static box or three – even punctuating the article – would be fine IMHO. But then the ad-selling companies have fucked that particular dog eleventy times over, and I don’t know how much would make per view/click/etc.

    IMHO, quality over quantity – even if they only allow payments on that sammich.
    Or nice ads for lesbian bakers and the Canadian tourist board…

    *Okay, phew, rant over. Got that off my chest, feels good.*
    Glad that sanity is returning, even just here in this little oasis, and hope it works out, cos I like this place a lot. :)

    * Full disclosure. I have been known to be wrong about ceiling fans and The Phantom Of The Opera musical.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I have expressed this many a time, including the fact that ads are usually so poorly coded that they slow down whatever site you’re on as your computer tries vainly to decipher their pig-latin code.

      I don’t think marketing execs really realize that their ads not only don’t market themselves well, they actively make me want to buy from their competitors instead. As well as make me want to insert a coil of barb wire down their throats, pull the end out of their posterior, and then give them a right good flossing. With votes.

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    I wouldn’t cancel my ad fewer because that sounds like work. Also I would probably need a password that I wrote down somewhere but don’t remember where. I think it was ‘password’.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      This is how I ended up with both monthly contributions and ad-fewer. Wonkette is at least partially floating on the collective laziness of the Wonketteers.

      • dlemex

        I am SO HAPPY that I am not the only one doing that. It was too much effort to cancel the donation when I added ad-fewer and the price was still a great deal for my sanity. So unless I end up on the street, I am sure both will continue… ¡Vivan Los Perezosos!

  • bookish

    https://www.ft.com/content/f286ce42-e886-11e6-893c-082c54a7f539

    The [Trump] tweet — one of a series of positive comments the new US president has made about the country and Vladimir Putin, its president, over the past year — was viewed by many investors as the latest signal that the geopolitical risks surrounding Russia are decreasing.

    This fall in risk is one of the reasons investors have begun piling into the country after several years of scaling back on Russian stocks and bonds. In January, the Micex index of Russian stocks hit an all-time high.

  • The Witch of Endor

    Oh. THANK YOU Wonkette for the alternative pay site. I’m way more happy giving through that than PayPal. Can people do monthly donations that way as well? Should I try to make the switch when I’m sober?

    • rebecca

      Paypal is so far the only way to do monthly donations. But you can buy a big ol’ chunk of ad-free (like a year-worth or whatever) through Square, Amazon, or what have you. Those are all through the “members” tab.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I’m doing two different donations because I am A Idiot, but I would be happy to roll them together and put them on Paypal and maybe crank it up a tad if only you’ll help me figger out how.

        • rebecca

          email me, honey, we’ll sort it.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            k. Sorry.

      • h4rr4r

        Who ever is in charge of making me aware of those options has been doing a terrible job.

      • The Witch of Endor

        That may have to wait until I see how much I owe the gubbmint, but I will purchase a chunk of ad-free once I’ve got that straightened out.

  • aureolaborealis

    Something else I would pay for, Shypixel and Trixie: A phone app.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      DO THIS FAST LIKE A BUNNY, OH EDITRIX ALMIGHTY!

    • Gosala

      Phone’s the only thing I use. Wonkette works pretty well already. Even better with the ads gone.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Really? My phone sucks at it. I can never get it to log me in to comment. I’m now suspecting it’s just because I’m stupid, so thanks for that.

        [Kidding. I’ve always suspected that.]

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          What kind of phone, Apple or Android? Wonkette works well for me on tablet and phone, both Android.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I’m Android. It’s just the login part that doesn’t work for me. Like I said, maybe it’s just a personal problem. I have many of those.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Let me know if I can help troubleshoot

        • Gosala

          Bibat!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      there is a phone app- Shy, can repost that link?

      • h4rr4r

        It has mobile-home in it.
        Which is a funny thing that makes me think of the wonkebago and TrailerParkBros.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I don’t remember how I got it- Shy had put up a link in an article. It’s basically the mobile page, except not in any of my mobile browsers. I don’t see it listed at Google play though

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            It popped up in my browser and asked me if I wanted to load it when I was accessing through Chrome.

      • aureolaborealis

        I know there used to be one, but it’s been a while. Is there a new one?

    • Shan

      There is one. It keeps chasing me on my phone but I run away.

    • aureolaborealis

      OK. I was persuaded to give it another try. I’m making this comment on my phone. Disqus required separate and different log-in, but things appear to be working.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    ‘Trix and Shy: just made small donation, and will keep ad fewer. Question; is it better for you administratively for us to keep Ad-fewer and make donation a month, or to for me to cancel Ad-fewer and put that money with monthly donation. One less list to deal with.

  • exinkwretch

    I’ve got two car payments left (yay!) and then I’ll start kicking in. Sooner if I can get a damn full time freaking job in this damn town!

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Boy can I relate. 56 year old business analyst in a town of 40,000 with no manufacturing left. It’s call centers for me.

      • exinkwretch

        I’m exactly the same vintage. Wish somebody had told me when I eased out of my last gig that your your job prospects expire at age 55 like a carton of milk.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Man, don’t they! I walk in to an interview, and all they se is expense (25 years of experience and Healthcare cost), and they go for the recent graduate who still has snot on his finger. That’s why I supported Hillary’s plan to allow Medicare at 55.

  • arglebargle

    I’ll keep my ad-fewer subscription, but only if you allow me to comment.

  • msanthropesmr

    Wait a minute. I thought that George Soros was paying us to be here!!!!

    • OneYieldRegular

      That he’s not completely disproves one of the right wing’s only consistent talking points.

    • Iron Monkey

      No, that is a different deal–we get paid for protesting Trump (plus subway fare to the airport) by the Soros Currency Speculation and America-Crushing Fund but you need to wait in a different line for you Wonkette Ameros from the Reconquista and Spanish as the Official Language Fund.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m not even here. A friend will be punching my card when the shift’s over.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Well, if you’re not getting any swag from the ads, what the fuck is the point, I said to no one in particular and Donna Rose.

    • h4rr4r

      Watch your language, my son is like 6 months younger and those little gems repeat every word they hear.

      • sw19bender

        COCKNOBBLERS!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Donald. Donald. Donald.”

        Time for that bar of Dial.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Oh wait – I didn’t realize you could pay through amazon. I did that instead of sending a check. Or maybe I just got successfully phished out of my amazon password? I hope it’s the first thing.

  • pussygrabber in chief

    But but but where am I going to learn about the one weird trick that will improve my sex life, make me rich and teach me how to make the cats change their own litter box?

    • sw19bender

      I have a newsletter to which you might wish to subscribe.

    • Jennifer R

      Well if you learn to give great head, it can solve two of the three problems!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      For at least the advice on additional income, friends of the long-deceased Lori (tragically killed in a Range Rover incident) will be happy to tell you about that periodically in the non-comments. You still win!

      • redarmyzombie

        No Cogito! That’s what Lori *wants* you to think!

        DON’T BE FOOLED BY HER DEVIOUS PLOY! THAT’S HOW SHE GETS HER VICTIMS!!!

    • capnkrunch

      Now I’ll never know how to fix my crepey skin.

  • RC

    I upped my anti and it was nice to get out from under paypal on this one. Amazon is a better overlord. At least they send me shit.

    • suziq

      OH, I think maybe I did it through paypal so maybe I can go there to change the amount? How can anybody expect me to remember what I did when it was more than 2 days ago? Not fair!

      • RC

        I think you have to cancel your current paypal and then put in a order with the new amount.

        • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

          Yup, that. (I know cause I upped mine a few days ago.)

        • suziq

          Thanks, that did work. I actually have my payal password and stuff written down. With all the other passwords so when somebody steals it they have access to ALL my shit.

      • anwisok

        If you’re seriously not sure, shoot trix or shy an email – I’m sure they can look up how your sub is being paid.

  • bookish

    Trump thrives in chaos.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/06/politics/white-house-turmoil-trump/

    “I just don’t see how the leopard changes his spots,” said one GOP operative, who declined to be named because this person didn’t want to appear to be rooting against the President. “He got to the job by drinking rocket fuel, and now people are wondering if he can sit down and delegate and be a responsible executive.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The problem here is the leopard cannot change his stripes, nor can the tiger change his spots. It’s not happening. Ever. He was NEVER going to magically transform, ala Draco Malfoy into a ferret, into being “Presidential”. Not in him. He was born a shitgibbon, and he will die a shitgibbon.

      • bookish

        If Trump can’t recognize and respond appropriately to threats, that’s good information for our side. The quotes below are in reference to individuals with sociopathy.

        Neuroscientists have long attributed this behaviour to a general lack of fear – but according to a new study, psychopaths might not be as fearless as once thought.

        Researchers have found that these individuals may actually experience this emotion, but fall short in their ability to recognize and respond to threats.

        Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3767545/Inside-mind-PSYCHOPATH-Researchers-feel-fear-don-t-recognise-danger.html#ixzz4XwETijdE
        Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    • Wild Cat

      He didn’t get the job by drinking rocket fuel. He got the job via a corrupt media, such as your source, CNN.

      They’ve zero to say. They loathe you and democracy.

  • gingerland62

    I did my duty…(ha ha I said “doody”) thank you for your commitment to keeping me from slashing my wrists in complete surrender to my idiotic fellow citizens, and those they choose to represent us also, too.

  • YetAnotherRebecca

    My ad-free subscription shall remain safe and un-cancelled, Editrix-Rebecca, don’t worry. I love and need my Wonkette, and having met both Dominic and Robyn in person at the Chicago debate night drinky things I know that you have some fine people working/interning for you that…ya know…deserve to be able to eat food and live indoors and things.

    And thanks for giving us payment options other than PayPal. I know to some degree Amazon and the credit card companies are all evil too, but I find the Peter Thiel stench that’s hangs off of PayPal to be particularly offensive

    • RC

      Peter Thiel is one big reason I was glad to get the payments moved over to Amazon. Although, I think he’s out of the company. Oh and again, Amazon sends me shit.

  • Crank Tango

    I was just thinking how awesome it would be to charge everyone a one-time fee for creating a login here. Just to keep the trolls down.

    Ok, not really awesome at all, I lied.

  • CreativityLacking

    So, long time sapiosexual lurker, current ad-free subscriber, and curious. If we pay more munies is it fair to ask for more drinky things where meeting leading to boning happens?

    • sw19bender

      One can always seize the means of (re)production, like wot the Oregon crowd did. Self-organizing is the future :)

      • Crank Tango

        I usuall seize my means of reproduction every day around this time.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Mr. President?

    • Crank Tango

      Good question.

    • rebecca

      I LOVE throwing drinky things. By all means, invite us to your town!!

      • Crank Tango

        We’re way up in norcal kinda on the way between oregon and the rest of california and have enough space out front for an RV, if you’re ever in the neighborhood.

        • sw19bender

          pacific northwest, baby!

          • Crank Tango

            The “great” “state” of “Jefferson”!!!

      • Biff52

        I am working hard toward the goal of no longer living within driving distance of Las Vegas, even on a part-time basis as it stands right now, and I would never suggest you return to Vegas, because we all know how that turned out, so if you want to see me ever again in this life, you will have to come to the Bishop CA area.

        • rebecca

          I would love to take Shy and DR to the Sierras. How do you think the Wonkebago would handle it?

          • Biff52

            It’s all downhill from Montana! But seriously, it’s like Summer Vacation Central, the place is crawling with RV’s of all types. They all seem to get here and back home with no problems.

      • CreativityLacking

        Unfortunately, my town isn’t one…currently living in the boonies with civilization (I count the closest as Ann Arbor, MI) nearly an hour away. I hoped to connect in DC, but was at the end of the Metro line and waited hours to make it to DC proper.

      • YetAnotherRebecca

        Can you maybe sweet talk to the good Ms. Robyn to hold another Chicago drinky thing? YetAnotherHusband and I are planning to begin with the baby-making attempts in the late Spring so I only have until early May or so before I have to try to spend probably a year or more in Trump’s America *shudders* totally sober….

      • MynameisBlarney

        I done did already!

        I’m in friggin paradise, and ain’t seen a single dang drinky thingy here yet!

        *crosses arms, harumphs, and then pouts*

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Well I woulda gotten you a drink but now you’re off flirting with a unicorn so I hope you two are very happy. *sniff*

      • h4rr4r

        Buffalo! We are a drinking town with a football/hockey problem.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Come back to the beach. You know you’ll have fun.

      • Shan

        Nobody wants to come here….

    • MynameisBlarney

      *posts “Can’t tell if serious or trolling” jpg*

      • CreativityLacking

        First try at posting graphic a total fail….

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Saposexual would mean frog-loving (or is it toad?), I guess.

  • sw19bender

    BTW I sincerely hope that this tactic creates more regular readers; leading perhaps to a certain reputation out there —–> ; and thus a juicy new career as a talking head on some more news “shows”.
    Or even real journalistic type televisual programmes. :)

    • MynameisBlarney

      I have been directing folks this way from my other online haunts in my usual polite, subtle and unobtrusive manner.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I am trying to up my giving, but….Paypal is being an ass app.

    • azeyote

      bernie madoff would love to take your call

      • Jus_Wonderin

        LOL

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      if it’s a non ad fewer donation, just do a second one

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Well, I wanted to up the monthly. I will delete it and make a new recurring.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Log into your PayPal account directly and do it on their page instead of via Wonkette.

  • bookish
    • Suse

      Bannon looks particularly bad in this photo – his face resembles sausage meat.

      • sw19bender

        I thought you said “particularly bad”?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Sausage meat is at least made of organic compounds from this planet.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “Roger Ailes Was Here” ?

  • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

    I did not know about the Amazon clicky thing. I spend a fortune on Amazon, partially because it does not involve having a human being muttering “have a nice day” at me and not being allowed to say “oh, fuck off,” in response.

    I will now enter from here and teach Mr. Mule about it also, too. (He does not Wonk but he enjoys the funny shit I read at him.)

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Trix gets up at 6 a.m. and edits dick jokes before she has coffee. She says lovely things about Evan and Robyn and Dom when they can’t even hear her. I have observed this with my own eyes. This is how much she loves us. Send her money. In fact, send her your NPR money because they are shills of corporate media.

    • rebecca

      but I don’t start work till 8:15 on Sundays :)

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Nor should you. You should be making Shy breakfast in bed, as the good Lord intended.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Barefoot. Don’t forget you’re supposed to be barefoot, Little Editrix.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        sokay, I make up for it by only having about 16 hours of paid work per week, and being mean to everyone.

    • Fartknocker

      How are the sammiches?

  • capnkrunch

    Haha. Joke’s on Shy. This guy wasn’t paying for a subscription before (I was blocking your ads though; *GASP* content thievery!) but decided to now out of respeck for this move.

    As for FUCK YOU AD NETWORKS! I’ve been saying that for while. In fact, someone wrote an article about it a while back: http://www.mediapost.com/publications/article/256254/ponder-this-malvertising-could-be-one-reason-for.html

    • sw19bender

      BOOM!
      Yes! Precisely what I was ranting about down below.
      And yeah, ad industry, you can fuck right off for daring to scold me for your shitting all over virtually every page of the internet.

      • capnkrunch

        I had to run down there and upvote you. If the advertising companies were even minutely responsible they could have quashed the malvertising problem as soon as it popped up. But criminals account for such a large percent of ad buyers (from out and out malware gangs to the 1 weird trick scammers) that there’s no incentive to police themselves. I try to get everybody I know on ad blockers to give them the incentive.

  • Scrofula

    Try to stay afloat for another month, please. I start work tomorrow, but it’ll take a month for actual muniez.

  • bookish
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well, did they ever tell us about the Bowling Green Massacre till Kellyann of Green Gables told us? Huh?
      And what of the Massacre of the Far-Flung Isles of Langerhans? Still waiting for Wolf to go to the Situation Room on that one.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      What a maroon…

  • AJ Milne

    I absolutely will keep the ad-fewer subscription going, even if the actual ads to be fewer are no longer technically/immediately there in a particular month. I think of it as maintaining sensible defensive capability in peacetime. Or something…

    Seriously, the ads, beyond being frequently kinda skeezy and seeming to me part of the general mess of distractionary nonsense on the net that has helped breed cynicism and confusion that helped create the current mess in certain western democracies, they do horrible things to many of my devices. It’s not just bad for democracy; it crashes my damned phone, and this will not stand. So here’s to paid, professional, responsible, independent media. Mommyblogs and all.

  • Iron Monkey

    Somehow I am contributing five dollars a month and also $4.99 a month for ad-fewer. So if I cancel my ad-fewer subscription and kick that (plus one cent) into the month contrib, you get my current $9.99 plus one penny pure profit.

    Ms. Schoenkopf you are a genius.

    • sw19bender

      I’m secretly hoping that Trump will crash the dollar, so my various loonies and quids can travel further into the coffers of The Wonkebago.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Dafuq?!?! Good luck, jerkoffs.

    “Trump’s allies building case to oust consumer protection head”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/trump-richard-cordray-consumer-financial-protection-bureau-234699

  • bookish

    http://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/trump-voters-stand-suffer-most-obamacare-repeal-trade-war-n717491

    Donald Trump made it an early priority to dismantle the top domestic and economic achievements of his predecessor’s administration, pushing for a repeal of the Affordable Care Act (a.k.a. Obamacare) and eschewing global trade deals like the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

    But his most ardent supporters might have a surprise coming: Many Americans who would bear the brunt of Trump-administration policies are the same people who chose the GOP candidate for president in November.

    “I think you’re going to get a disproportionate impact on people who supported Donald Trump but maybe don’t realize that his policies may end up hurting them instead of helping them,” said Michael O. Moore, a professor of economics and international affairs at George Washington University.

    • Last Hussar

      Mate, we’re 6 months ahead of you. Watching Brexshitteers continue to screaming “there was a vote” while claiming everything is wonderful is nauseating. Any criticism is sneered at, and we’re to we have to make it work. They shit everywhere, and we are expected to clean up after them.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I don’t think they understand words like “disproportionate.” The GOP succeed in destroying public education a generation ago. Why else would Kansans reelect Brownback as governor after he literally BANKRUPTED their state.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    we’re beefing up our writing corps to try to keep up with all the bullshit these fuckers are throwing at us

    This cheapskate is already a monthly donor, but if you bring Robyn back as a regular writer I’ll get a second fucking job to support her. Wonkette, my Twitter feed, and my local resistance groups are all that is between me and the oblivion at this point FFS!

    • sw19bender

      Robyn seems pretty regular for someone who got the sack, tbh. :)

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Dude, my Democratic club, which has had about 25 people at its meetings, had 200 people at its meeting on Saturday. We have only begun.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Went to a Democratic club meeting that was fucking packed yesterday. The fight is ON!

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        A sleeping giant has been awakened!

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          A SLEEPING GIANT HAS APPEARED!

          Spicer used Bullshit Fling!

          It’s not very effective…

        • MynameisBlarney

          Woke as fuck.

      • Jukesgrrl

        I went to an ACLU meeting in Tucson about a week ago and there were 300 people there. That was the same weekend they raked in $5 million in donations. The meeting was held in a huge room borrowed from Tucson Electric Power. Then, during the course of the meeting, they told us to call TEP and complain about their lobbying activities. Gotta love the ACLU!

  • Ambignostic

    If you didn’t want to die freezing, you probably should have chosen a more temperate locale for your Wonkquarters.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Yay to ads fucking off — will send some cash shortly, since the jar o’ change is almost full.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Hi, Editrix! One hunnert bux is coursing through the series of tubes as we speak. Monthly shall be discussed with the other WSH tonight. I am an idiot and something of a fraud for not doing this sooner.

    • sw19bender

      You are a star!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Aw shux. Just wish I had done it sooner.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Wow. Hey big spender! Nice.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I think I am going to go sit by him!

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Quite taken, donchaknow?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Haven’t seen you for a while! Top job, sir.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Howdy–good to see you too! I am here daily, but do not always have the will to snark.

    • Another tattoo prospect for me (gosh, how novel and unique, yeah yeah) – for verily, forsooth, I am an idiot and something of a fraud.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    oh my God if one more asshole on the Internet says is “greedy,” I will reach through this computer monitor and STRANGLE HIM UNTIL HE IS AN OOZY PUDDLE OF CORPUSCLES

    Save your money, Rebecca: I’ll gladly do that as a workout. Or, more likely with the wingnuts, as a warmup to my workout!

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT CNN fuckery – the lady who always wears pink is trying to cover Melissa McCarthy’s magnificent snl performance and bag on crybaby rage spice’s reaction, but they are leaving out the funniest part of the skit where the CNN journalist was in a diaper in a cage. Hahahahaha.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • OneYieldRegular

    I finally got an ad-fewer subscription last month (some late medical unpleasantness is done, yay, so I feel more at ease to commit $$ monthly).

    You can sweep away all the ads and I’ll still keep the subscription. What you all do is amazing. And hey, a non-commenting friend said he planned to send you $50 if only for your having used the term “Russian pee hookers” in a headline. Look for those words down in the “For_____” corner of the check.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    I have never signed up for ad-free, but have always had regular donations. I have even come to a couple of Wonket Drinkee Events™, and even bought my some of own drinkees while there, just because.

    In exchange, have I ever asked for wonket street-cred OG purity-points? A token win of a photochop/caption contest? A blingee to wear around, instead of pants? I HAVE NOT. (This is totally not a reverse-vampire attempt to earn some more purity points, for being sooo pure, OR IS IT)

    Wait! This totally means I’ve been funding these professional protesters that all the wingnuts are sure exist everywhere!!!1 Today, we are all George Soros!
    (Soroses? Sorosi? Sorosopuses?)

  • proudgrampa

    So (and maybe this is already the idea,no?) you could just do a “pledge drive” like the PBS stations do on (it seems) a weekly basis.

    And offer more Wonkette Babby pictures as incentive.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      BABBY AUCTION!!

    • RC

  • Chadwells

    One more…

    OT: This is just fucking surreal.

    “Congress Asks Lobbyists Who Fought EPA How To Make It ‘Great Again’”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/epa-house-science-committee_us_5898a983e4b0c1284f2718d5?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Sheeeeesh, all right already!

    Don’t spend the extra $3 all in one place, OK?

  • mailman27

    My ad-blocker rules with an iron fist (For real, I can’t even get on some sites who totally depend on ads I guess.) So I give a little extra whenever I can (now) because I really like it here.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Yup. I turn adblock off only if/when a site won’t function with it on. Disturbing how many there are…

      • C4TWOMAN

        I turn my ad block off for no one. It’s part of my computer security and sanity. I might try turing it off on this site, but the last time I tried that (one of the business mags), “disable on x site” didn’t work and the symptoms strongly implied I would need to uninstall it completely.

        Hahahahaha.. yeh, that’s likely.

        I have only ever once *knocks on wood* had a serious computer attack and it was from an ad. I feel varying degrees of sympathy for sites who beg me to disable, but my Internet security comes first.

        As for the blocking ad block website thing: they are basically blocking the informed , critical readers. IMO they need to rethink their model unless they only people they want are impulsive, Interweb naifs, seducable by click bait.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    It gets me all hot and bothered when Trix talks money.
    Does that make me a bad person?

    • Jukesgrrl

      No, Lady Gaga told us we’re supposed to embrace diversity and I’m down with that among consenting adults.

  • Bill D. Burger

    No more “Come to Jesus” fund drives? You know the TEAlibangelical sort: The “Praise the Lord. Isn’t He great? Send us your money or He will see to it that you will burn in hell for all eternity. Praise Him. Jesus loves you!” type?

  • BKScooter

    While we’re all being open and stuff, can I pay $5/month to not see which direction comments are coming from on mobile? Up down left right. Not sure if it’s that or the vodka making me dizzy.

  • bookish
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Nice. I saw a suggestion that they read mean tweets as something to do. I wasn’t clear if it would be mean tweets against DeVos, Trump, AOTK or even the speaker. I’m just a fan of mean tweets.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Hey, here’s something Geo Soros could do with his Liberal bazillions: Buy hefty monthly subscriptions to as many hurting Lefty sites as he can afford without feeling it (a lot). Or maybe talk to his friends in the bidness world about some *real* ads for the Leftosphere.

  • ken_kukec

    And dick jokes, don’t forget the dick jokes.

  • Terpsichord

    Keeping my ad-free monthly is a small price to pay for my sanity. Cheaper than Xanax.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – fun with the TX Senate: ETHICS BILLS ON THE FLOOR TODAY

    emergency items like ethics bills being heard today and SB 4 (sanctuary cities ban) which will be heard tomorrow do not violate the 60 day period where bills cannot be voted out of their respective houses in TX (March 10/Day 60 is also the deadline to file bills).

    what you need to know: most of Sen. Van Taylor’s (R – Running for Congress) agenda here falls into two categories which mutually benefit each other. category 1 involves him giving a nice back rub to Michael Quinn Sullivan and his group, Empower Texans, who have been trading lawsuits with the TEC for over 4 years now for anything from violating voter rights to not paying their lobbying dues and registering with the TEC as lobbyists. (an easy way to tell if you’re a lobbyist is if you’re being paid by a person or a group to testify on their behalf–which does not include compensated travel or lunch if you’re coming with a group.) if you’re not familiar with the lovingly dubbed “Mucous” and his group, google it and go to the news tab. he’s quite a piece of work, but a wealthy one. which leads to category 2, the senator from Plano will be running for retiring Congressman Sam Johnson’s seat in 2018 (though he’d hoped it would be earlier) and he needs as much publicity and funding as possible.

    what could be fun: last session, our Dems in the House drew out the ethics bill (which was ultimately vetoed) to try to stop campus carry from getting the final vote it needed. it featured one of the distinguished representatives saying, “I’ll pee in a cup right now!” when proposing that elected and appointed officials in our government be subject to UAs. personally, I think any lobbyist who doesn’t file with the TEC should be subject to UAs at the very least.

    ENJOY!

    http://tlcsenate.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=5&event_id=2076

    my committee is over, so I’ll be back once the report is edited.

    • puredog

      In the TX lege the ethics bills are usually on the floor because it makes it easier to kick them.

      • Panika MCD

        if only we could find a permanent way to do so to Mucous with votes…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Visited, loved it ( Hill Country) have future in laws (Houston) looking for property in Hiil Country near San Antonio, preparing for culture shock.

      • Panika MCD

        look in Hays particularly in Wimberly and San Marcos. in fact, the part of San Marcos on the east side of I-35 is represented by Lloyd Doggett. otherwise, Fredricksburg is lovely and near both the LBJ Ranch / Historical Site and Enchanted Rock. it’s also become quite the player in TX wine.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Unless you are poor, please do not give us any more money if you are poor.”

    Thanks Becca, you’re solid, stand up folks.
    Whenever I start working full-time, y’all is getting some of my munniez!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Yeah, I think about it all the time. I know I can’t commit to anything monthly coming out of my account. But a one off might happen. It’s think it’s smart to have that option.

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Does this mean the gross knee skin ad is dead?

    Also, I’ll kick in some more funds with the next pay check.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i got that fuckin’ ad in my email this morning (okay, I woke up 1/2 a hour ago, but whatevs)

      That ad is following me!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well, I know I’ll miss that hairy man’s chest with the protruding hernia and the ad for rough, cracked dry feet…oh, and my favorite banner at the bottom on a multitude of important matters. ~sigh~

    ♪♪♪ Memories….like the corners of my mind / Misty, watercolor memories….♪♪♪♪

    • Jonny On Maui

      If you really miss the photo of a protruding hernia I can send you a current one, at least until Wednesday when the doctor is supposed to stitch me up…

      • RC

        hahaha this is why I love this place. You people crack me up and with the next four years I’m going to need it!

      • Jukesgrrl

        WAIT … I thought Hawaii was supposed to be paradise. You still get hernias?

        • Jonny On Maui

          Believe it or not, but banana trees are heavy… :-)

          • Jukesgrrl

            OK, it’s Friday. How are you? Are you healing? GOOD LUCK!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you Jukesgrrl, my surgery got postponed to next Tuesday. So still kinda miserable.

      • Bill D. Burger

        We can’t be friends if you don’t understand my sarcasm!
        (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ [flips a table]

        ;)

        • Fake Newts.

          Anything other than full-throated agreement is soooo unfriendly.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Too bad I never took any pictures of the one I had stitched up four years ago, or we could have swapped.

        • Jonny On Maui

          This is my second. I gotta make sure I get my Hernia Card marked. Two more and I get a free one …

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            “I’m With Hernia!”

      • Sardonicuss

        Ouch! I had a friend who had one of those…had to take him in for surgery (because they dont want people driving after surgery…who knew?)
        Anyway, they put in a “mesh” which sounded ok to me at the time.
        Years later, I was watching t.v. and a lawyer ad comes on saying “Did you get this “mesh?”
        I called my buddy. As soon as I started talking he just said “Yep”.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Anyone here remember ‘Kortney’?

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        I recently used her very cucumber to defile Rupert Murdoch.

        (In a photoshop, that is.)

      • Sandy Beaches

        Veggie girl? Yep.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Yep.
        Dreamy, “Fit-Guy?”

        • wide_stance_hubby

          oh, yes. . .

  • BrianW

    I never thought of it as fewer ads; instead, I thought of it as a cheap way to keep me from throwing heavy objects at our TV. That still seems to apply, so no worries about losing this “ad-fewer” subscription.

  • Jukesgrrl

    I take it you aren’t getting your check from George Soros either. If he doesn’t come through pretty soon, I’m going to stop being a godless librul.
    WHERES MY MONIEZ GEORGE?!?

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Full disclosure: I’ve been here since forever and love it. The ‘trix years are best years.

    I happen to give quite a bit monthly because not just ‘trix and the gang (who are awesome, as they say in the shire), but also you guys. This is a bastion of sanity.

    Please give, IF you are able.

    Rebecca: you’re right about ad nets. You’re not going to get operating costs from ads right now. Were living that too.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Agreed about the ‘trix years.

  • Mavenmaven

    I knew I was getting older when on Wonkette instead of getting invited to meet Asian women I started getting the crepey skin ads.

    • What if I want to meet Asian women with crepey skin?

      • Mavenmaven

        I have a friend who is a nurse at an old age home in Chinatown who can introduce you to some if you can speak very loudly into their ears in Cantonese.

  • SadDemInTex

    I just gave $$$. Will continue my adfree sub. Love you guys

  • Sometimes I feel like Pam Poovey is Wonkette’s spirit animal…

    http://i.imgur.com/3xKiDnC.gif

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Wonkete’s spirit animal is the scapegoat.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I thought Wonkette’s spirit animal was the Uni-pony.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I just assumed it was the Trouser Snake, because dick jokes.

  • I don’t have any new dollars to throw at you, but I timed the ad-fewer subscription to come out during the time of the month when I can actually spare the money, so that will keep coming, anyway.

  • h4rr4r

    We need one of those Monies raised thermometers and stretch goals.

    GOAL- ad free continues!
    Stretch Goal #1: Robyn comes back for a month
    Stretch Goal #2: Free WHORE DIAMONDS!
    ETC, ETC, ETC!

    • Shan

      You know what it needs took like, right?

      • h4rr4r

        Dirty minds think alike.

  • Chadwells

    Anyone catch the VoteVets ads running during the morning shows? Can we make a billion more ads that talk to that fucking imbecile Lord Fuckface Dampnut?!?!?! PLEASE!!

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/vote-vets-ad-donald-trump_us_58987be9e4b040613137c426

  • Lefty Frizzell

    When did Saul Alinsky drop off the map? It’s all Soros this, Soros that these days.

    Maybe only Newt ever cared, and the rest tagged along because the name sounded a bit Russkie, but now it’s not OK to dis Russkies.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Saul Alinsky is doing great, I hear. Gets more famous every year.

      • Lefty Frizzell

        He is being recognized more and more for his great work

      • Oblios_Cap

        Where in the hell is Chomsky? Has he started hanging out with Brad?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Bought a Land Rover Range Rover and dropped off the grid.

        • Sandy Beaches

          Considering Brad is currently tied up in my basement, I’m gonna say, “no.”

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Soros” is a universal generic for the Righties and WooWoo Repukes. Always a reliable fall back any time they need a scapegoat with $$$$ for any issue on which they’re losing.

      • RC

        just like abortion and guns and gays

        • Bill D. Burger

          …and God…don’t forget the Big Guy in the Rightie four “G” pillars of their culture wars faith:
          God
          Gays
          Guns
          Gynecology

      • mackafritz

        If he were as powerful as they make him out to be, Lord Dampnut wouldn’t be president.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Already do ad fewer, but threw in a one time gift of Ameros.
    If you stay ad free, what about a once or twice a year Wetsy ( not Donald Trump style) where Wonkers could advertise for a fee to sell stuff we make, like that soap we like, and pink hats and stuff. Seems like a win win.

  • Also, politics aside, I’m pretty happy to kick in monthly just to support your practice of actually paying writers in real dollars, instead of exposure dollars. I say that as a not-quite-starving writer — people keep trying to pay me less. Maybe if we all support this whole paying writers thing, it will catch on and I’ll eventually make more. Or maybe Wonkette will hire me someday.

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    This Ad-Fewer subscriber won’t go away because I see it as supporting quality journalism. Keep us posted. Love you.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    You mean I will never find out that ONE WEIRD TRICK?

  • schmannity

    Also too, I wouldn’t say no to making even more than that, like I am Fergie, Duchess of York.
    Have you thought of a toe-sucking booth at $10 a toe?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Hey now! ☜(゚ヮ゚☜)

  • Shan

    Can that big-ass donate button be put up in the faces of people who visit and don’t subscribe/donate when they first hit the site for the day?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Like the WaPo banner that explodes across the screen when “You’ve used up your allotment of free reads” for the week. Subscribe now!

      I always have the same reaction when that happens: 凸(¬‿¬)

      • Shan

        Nooo..! I just meant a nice discreet little guilt trip occasionally.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Yep. It’s either switch to another browser or see ya next month. Actually WaPo should get the money. I’m subscribing to too many blogs/ newspapers already. If I added it all up….but I don’t.

        • Serai 1

          Not at all. Just open a private window on the browser you’re using. Voila! The site can’t track it, so each time you open one the hits reset. :)

      • Serai 1

        So do I – opening a private window.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I’m in. Keep the Resistance alive!!!

  • Okay. Made a donation, and signed up for Ad-Fewer.

    Not my first time kicking in, over the years. The _only_ beef I’ve ever had with youse guys was the ads making it darn near impossible to read even one web page on a cheap Android phone.

    “Hide” my post if you want, but please read this:
    – I can’t find what hyperlink or link address to use to log into my new Ad-Fewer sub (“ChrisGrrr” here)

    – Filling out “https://wonkette.com/checkout“ and clicking on the “Place Order” button returned the same page with almost all of the fields emptied of what I had typed. Since it appeared my bank account was not hit with that “first” donation, I was a good little drone and filled the fields out _again._ One donation, not two, was my intention.

    • Shan
      • Whooooo. I owe you a beverage of choice.

        I did not find that link. Thanks!

        • Shan

          Welcome! Anything but tequila. It makes me extra super stroppy.

    • rebecca

      shoot me an email please so I remember to fix this for you! rebecca at wonkette dot com

  • Daisy

    When I can get some spare cash, I’ll donate.

    • natoslug

      What are you waiting for?- you’ve got a perfectly good spare kidney, some bits of liver you could probably do without, maybe a couple of pints of blood! Think outside the box for ways to raise cash in our awesome gig economy!

  • Bold decision. I’ll keep doing my bit, even if (as I am afeared) my job dries up and blows away. This place, these writers and you peoples is worth it.

  • Sardonicuss

    Wut about Patreon?

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Also, would it help to get volunteer moderators? Might free up the writers and administrators for other work. There are probably people here who would love to swing that banhammer.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I just wanna see the chatcave.

    • Some of our “softer” troll-like critters might have a slightly more difficult time keeping their heads above water if the inmates were put in charge of hammering them on the haids.

      • Shan

        Especially on the night shift.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I’m sure it’s a bit of a thankless task. Hammering the Turgid Love Muscle- easy. Hammering a fellow friendly commentator who got obstreperous- not so much.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Only problem with that is we could end up with people who only go after commenters they simply don’t like or want to pick on, for one reason or another. Dok is a great moderator but maybe could use a break? I’ve always thought Callyson would make a great mod. FWIW.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        it’s easy on wonkville- the key word list stops 99% of it and all we have to do is manually approve a comment when one of the regulars screws up and accidentally types the word ‘penis’. Likewise, the 3 approved posts before you get automatic posting rights makes rogue posts non existent, though because it’s IP based it hangs anyone whose Ip address changes- I spend half my time approving my own posts when they’re not made from my home or office IP address.

        • Juan de Fuca

          Yeah, I tried posting a comment there about a year or so ago. The comment never got approved so I figured it was telling me to take a *hint* or something. So I took a hint.

          • Biff52

            Whining helps. I post from 3 or 4 different devices, so the old Intense Debate system balks at all of them.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            ntD’s article posts hang even more than mine do for some reason. I constantly have to approve his…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I actually remember seeing a comment of yours- it must have slipped through the cracks and stayed in pending for a while, but I thought i eventually spotted it and approved it. Once you’ve done it a few times, it’ll recognize you. Posting articles OTOH can be an adventure, even for the mods. The best is to let one of us, know either here or there, that you’ve got something in purgatory. There are several of us and we all check in once or twice a day, but if you time it wrong things can get hung up for a few hours or more.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Thanks, Zip. I figured it was just a closed group that I needed a sekret decoder ring to get into.

  • Ωbjectifier

    “…how many of you met and are boning because of the comments…”
    If comments are not allowed, how can there be boning? I’m confused. And un-boned.
    PS – The check is in the mail.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Oh gurl, I love you guys so much! This new ad-free direction is youge, bigly! Imma throw a few more dollars your way and hope a new contract jerb happens soon so I can throw more monetary love atcha.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Read you occasionally before the primaries. Started reading regularly during the election. Gave a few bucks after. Decided to go ad fewer in January. Will try to throw some more pesos your way as often as I can — also contributing more to ACLU, Planned Parenthood and other liebural causes.

    • rebecca

      nice to meet you, unmutual

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Thanks. I just started noncommenting, never formally introduced myself

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It’s not considered official until you tell a dick joke

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Go ahead. We’re not picky.

    • RC

      the local food bank is my other and you remind me I have to add in the ACLU

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Welcome. New commenters, who are not allowed, must bring Those Cakes We Like.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and cedar cheese

        • Biff52

          I want my 2 packs a peace cigs!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    All I can ever submit is news tips…there’s a bunch of amicus briefs filed on the Wa. case (those are sorta briefs from interested parties, basically, we think this about this thing!)

    THere are ones from ACLU, AMericans United for Separation of Church and State, and a few others, should make for good reading.
    https://www.ca9.uscourts.gov/content/view.php?pk_id=0000000860

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Also several Silicon Valley big names, who don’t much like it when they’re the ones being disrupted.

    • cmd resistor

      Thanks — I read the WA response earlier. Seemed pretty persuasive to this quick libtard skim of it. I guess the DOJ has about 1 1/2 hours left to file their crap.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i thought so too, you’re attorney right?
        I didn’t read the original complaint, but the gov’t seems to be making it all about 1182(f), which I read as very broad.
        I thought the response was, by necessity, tailored only to green-card and visa holders.
        If both those premises are true, I think I have an idea of how it’ll play it.

        But I’m interested in the opinions of people who KNOW things.
        ; )

        • cmd resistor

          I didn’t see the actual motion for stay but from the response seems like they argued the broad discretion blah blah under 1182(f). They stated that 1182 hasn’t been used to do something so broad as this categorical ban. Seems like this argument would go to green card/visa holders as well as refugees. But I am no expert and haven’t read all the stuff, although I hope to be able to.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            when you do, I’d love to law-nerd chat about it – if you care to. I think it’s really interesting stuff.

          • cmd resistor

            I skimmed the DOJ response. I notice a bunch of old immigration cases that the government always cited when justifying detaining excludable alien Mariel Cubans back in the day. It has been so long since I did anything with immigration that I don’t know if those are applicable or not. I did notice they don’t seem to have addressed the issue of whether a TRO is an appealable order. I would so love for the 9th Circuit to just kick it back to the district court and let them figure it out. I haven’t a chance to read the amicus stuff yet.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah, I’m just getting to the amicus ones myself. I found the one by the Tech Companies VERY VERY good. More persuasive than the one by the plaintiff’s for that matter.
            To me, it feels like it’s coming down to two issues 1) green card/visa holders under this order and 2) future immigration period.
            Point 1 i think will get sorted fairly quickly.

            Point 2, in my only slightly educated opinion is the hairier one. And it seems to be a conflict between the 1182(f) – presidential power to ban immigrants and 1185(a), non discrimination when it comes to refugees.

            We shall see!

          • cmd resistor

            As a practical matter, there’s no huge emergency that justifies that EO. My general theory on stays and TRO’s is, are the bulldozers coming? Since the EO is basically a b/s thing designed to pander to Trump’s people who want a ban (ok, my opinion, but ….) and not designed to meet any imminent threat, in a fair and wonderful world, they should just let the trial judge figure it out instead of reinstating the chaos that happened when the first EO came out.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that’s basically the argument I’m seeing in these filings.
            But I like that bulldozers thing (i find it helpful to reduce all this legalese into a nugget to at least anchor it in my mind – Thanks!).
            I’m not following the procedural stuff in re: The TRO/injunction as well, cause that’s complicated, but it is yet another facet of this that could allow this thing to drag on and/or get bounced around a bit before we get to the meat of this controversy. In other words, this is going to go an while.

            What’s scary is (my impression) that national security gets LOTS of deference in law and from the courts.

          • cmd resistor

            They do get a lot of deference but it’s not unlimited. Just where the line is drawn seems to be the question. The way I understand the preliminary injunction issue is that more of a hearing would have been required to get a preliminary injunction, which did not happen. But that’s why one is appealable because there’s a record for the appellate court. DOJ does seem to admit that but makes some argument why they should get to appeal this anyway. But sending it back would make more sense, if making sense were the standard. In my opinion, anyhow.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            P.S. And thanks for playing along.
            ; )

    • Sandy Beaches

      Very nice. It’s good to see that orange rhino ejaculate’s name followed by the words, “Defendant.”

  • Kateaux

    ‘Twould be silly of me to drop my Ad-Fewer when I’ve had it for less than a week and a half.
    P.S. You could always bribe us with more Wonkette babby pix, you know.

  • Serai 1

    Hey, WHAT HAPPENED to our ability to post pictures in the comments? I see no clicky button for posting pictures! WHAT HAPPENED??

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yeah, I found that problem too…a crushing blow to our community.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Give me memes or give me death!

        • natoslug

          Testing, testing . . .
          https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/bb/0e/7b/bb0e7b7a455d6bd3b993bc83690608a6.gif

          Well damn — can’t just embed or toss in a link. My guess is disqus is fucking with shy for complaining about the disqus ads.

          • Serai 1

            Yeah, we’re only getting links. I don’t see any pictures on any of the comment threads.

          • natoslug

            Assuming this page is up to date, it looks like shy may have accidentally disabled media attachments: https://help.disqus.com/customer/en/portal/articles/1360518-adding-images-and-videos

            Or grew tired of us bogging the site down with our multimedia and intentionally disabled media attachments. Or it could have been aliens.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            In my alt-facts alt-world, the real reason they’re gone is that Lord Dampnuts has commanded the FCC to remove all our memes, because they make him cry so hard that his hooker pee is getting diluted.

          • Serai 1

            I hope it’s a glitch. If media’s gone, I’m gonna lose a lot of my enthusiasm for posting here.

    • Chadwells

      Seriously….can’t post my “make it rain” GIF’s!!!

    • It is Broke Real Bad. So, it’s a normal day on Disqus. . .

      • Serai 1

        I’ve used Disqus on a lot of sites, and I’ve never seen the picture button disappear.

        • This is the only place I use it. I may have used it elsewhere once or twice, but I don’t remember where.

          Possibly, there is a bandwidth issue with us fillin’ up the place with our rock music and dick pics?

          • Serai 1

            That wouldn’t make the button disappear, though. And Disqus is all over the web these days. Even some big news sites are using it.

          • I’ve noticed it wanting me to log in on other sites, but I don’t bother. I’m happy to stick to the place where comments aren’t allowed.

        • natoslug

          It’s shy. Like Unpresident Shitgibbon’s li’l nubbin of a penis. Just stroke the page a bit and it should pop up eventually.

          • MynameisBlarney

            GAH!!!!!

            500 cc’s o’ brain bleach! STAT!

          • Sandy Beaches

            ew.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          it’s missing on MJ right now, but is there on raw story and political wire

          • Serai 1

            Yeah, I’m seeing it in a number of places, but not here.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            gotta be a Digust glitch that only affect certain websites, depending upon how they’re configured

      • Jukesgrrl

        Disqus is still a big step up from Livefyre which really doesn’t allow comments most of the time, in spite of that being their purpose.

        • Serai 1

          I’ve only had that problem with Livefyre over at Slate. For some reason, at THAT site commenting doesn’t work at all at least 50% of the time.

      • Serai 1

        Nope. Looks like it’s a consequence of taking out the ads. So that’s it for me. I’ll look in now and then, but I won’t be posting much.

    • Bill D. Burger

      I just keep shivering and crying out, “Disqus don’t fail me now!”

    • rebecca

      I think when I told the Disqus lady we would PAY THEM to have no ads, and she switched me over, it took away our little cameras :(

      • Serai 1

        Well, that pretty much decimates my interest in posting here much. Too bad. It was fun while it lasted.

      • Biff52

        Another thing I just noticed, when we post links, and someone clicks on it, it redirects through discus itself, thereby giving them a click-through. Diabolical!

      • Serai 1

        Wait, that doesn’t make sense. We could post media before those awful ads showed up.

  • RC

    one thing that is helpful in my life is I only have time for this or twitter and twitter is a sink hole so it’s best I stay around here.

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      All of the very best, brightest, shiniest, bigly twits end up here anyway. I consider Wonkette my clearinghouse for worthy twits.

  • natoslug

    I am ad-fewer, and sticking with ad-fewer, even if you get rid of the sexy ads to help me avoid crepey skin (I’ve never logged in on my phone or tablet, so I get to experience the joy of ads on those devices). I would, though, continue with select ads if you can find some that are for decent causes, and maybe throw a few pennies your way? Does Credo Mobile advertising help, maybe? And I’ll sign up for Arcadia Power eventually — they couldn’t find my account last time I attempted it, even though I copied and pasted it directly from the PG&E web site, so I gave up on them. Harrumph!

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Do I get a fucking hat if I donate? :)

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Make Wonkette Grate Again”

    • BKScooter

      You might get a “This is Where the Truly Depraved Hang Out” tshirt.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Or the “I’ve Seen Enough Hentai To Know Where This Is Going And All I Got Was This Lousy Gimp Suit” Gimp Suit.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Even better.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        I like that — do we a vile snark mob member tee? I’d cut the sleeves off of it though!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        you know, I’ve had the occasional t-shirt idea…and we’re good with words around here.

        What if we pitched shirt ideas that the Wonkette.com could sell here, amazon, that one place that sells all the small-shop t-shirts…it’s a website, can’t remember hte name.

        Anyway…I like your suggestion, I would buy one. Suggestions?

        • BKScooter

          Oh, it’s totally not my suggestion. It comes from a few months ago…the second I placed my order for the hat, there was talk of putting out the “Depraved” tshirts. I raged for thirty seconds cause I wanted the shirt. :)

    • natoslug

      It depends on whether you can find/have a partner. And if he/she/it lets you wear a hat during the deed. Or is a fucking hat more of a fleshlight arrangement, in the style of a beer hat?

    • MynameisBlarney

      This “fucking hat” you speak of…

      Does it have a chin-strap and handles?

      Asking for a friend.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Somewhere Harry Potter’s sorting hat just got Rule 34’ed.

  • Freaking exchange rate! I miss when my munniez was worth more than yours. Oh well, consider my an ad-fewer subscriber now… Mainly so I can continue to use adblocking software w/o stealing food from Princess Donna Rose’s mouth!

  • Constant Gardener

    I just threw money at you, will continue not killing myself. Thanks for all you do. Fuck Trump in his ear and elsewhere.

  • ariel_g_398

    Seeing as how the non-existent comment section is full of “social drinkers,” some of whom fear or are resistant to sending money over the internets or whatever, what about having some Wonkette-fundraiser-drinkie things a couple of times a year in various locales? A happy hour where we are encouraged to come out from ducking and covering under our desks to meet actual people in the real world and toss a couple of bucks into a hat that a deputized person sends on to you guys?

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      Doing drinkie things as a fundraiser vs. a thing that costs Trix money, due the free beer/whisky/fried macaroni & cheese balls is brilliant!

    • natoslug

      For those of us in the hinterlands, drinkie things are sad affairs where we sip our fifth of Chateau Whatever and shout at the cat. I’m not sure how good that will work as a fundraiser.

      • ariel_g_398

        It depends on how wealthy the cat is and whether or not it’s possible to pay for servers in hairballs.

        • natoslug

          He is one broke-ass cat. Although rich in attitude — at least once a day he ventures upstairs to see if he can annoy the girl-cat enough that she’ll start peeing all over the couch or wall or wherever she’s at when he first steps up to smack her around. I think I need kitty couples counseling.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I’d put on pants for that!

      • Roadstergal

        I’d go to the meetup, but I wouldn’t go as far as to don pants.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Well, they wouldn’t be my good pants, obvs, I save those for when I march for Soros bucks.

  • Slithytoves

    Done. Was going to do a monthly donation anyway b/c in fact, this is a refuge for me. So, thanks for the prodding.

  • Jennaratrix

    You’ll keep my $ per month, because I’m not paying for ad-fewer, I’m paying for sane and funny news reporting with a side of dick jokes. I’m going to look at our budget, and if I can swing it, I’ll up my donation. Keep it up, you guys, and everyone who isn’t paying yet – COME ON YOU GUYS. Please help if you can.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Is this the open thread?
    Der Trumpfenfuhrer on a sports radio talk show yesterday (and yes this was posted at WH.gov).

    to be fair, he sounded mostly hinged for most of the interview, strangly detached, maybe he was tired. But this was funny:

    https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/02/05/radio-interview-president-trump-jim-gray-westwood-one-sports-radio

    Q You’ve now been in office a couple of weeks. Monday-morning-quarterback yourself, how would you assess how you’ve done?

    “THE PRESIDENT: Well, I think I’ve done well. I think polls are showing that I’ve done well. (Those same polls he tweeted were fake the same day of this interview!) It’s been tough on a lot of people because we’re breaking the glass a little bit. We’re doing what has to be done. We’re being strong on vetting, we’re being strong on coming into the country. It’s very easy if you just let it be the way it was, but the FBI has over 1,000 investigations going on right now on terror and terrorism. They’ve never had anything like that before. And that’s been reported all over the place. “

    • Bill D. Burger

      The denial and stupid are strong in The Cheeto Bandido. In his world, it’s always Opposite Day.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        that’s what’s so weird, the rest of the interview is very normal. He’s asked about LA olympics, Russian doping, NFl and head injuries, legal marijuana and he basically defers – says let the appropriate people discuss it and I’ll listen to what they have to say.

        Is our Presidents* learning?

      • Serai 1

        What’s truly bizarre is this idea that refugees are really the most pressing problem the country has these days. Fucking incredible how utterly gullible people are.

    • Roadstergal

      “we’re breaking the glass a little bit.”

      Nope, glass ceiling still firmly in place, you little fucknugget.

    • Biff52

      Is “breaking the glass” a Kristalnacht reference?

  • Scrofula

    Wait, are we supposed to be boning each other? I mean, I had a dream the other night with TX. Dept., but Midland’s a hell of a drive from here.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Terribly flattered, but my keen steel-trap mind and one of a kind sense of humor belie a chubby, unshaven, unemployed loser.

      ; )

      • Jonny On Maui

        Keep talking I’m almost there…

      • Scrofula

        Hey, that’s normal-weight, unshaven, about-to-be-employed tomorrow loser, to you.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          ah, y’all is too kind. Mondays and weekends are bad…another day, doing nothing.
          Oh look, a case of beer!

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        We all want you, ducky!

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          rofl, y’all crack me up.

      • Scrofula

        Well, in my dream actually, you looked like Butters in a teddy bear suit. No, I don’t know what that means.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          that’s an oddly accurate description of me.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Step right up and get some, sweetie! *tail swish*

      • Scrofula

        Well, trot that fine horse’s ass over here and we can do a hay roll (cause I don’t have a real floor).

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          ♫Roll, roll, roll in ze hay!♫ *nicker*

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Rrowr!

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Sorry, I’m broke. You can have have my teaspoon collection if you want. I’m only missing Seychelles!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You know, she sells Seychelles by the seashore.
      I’ll show myself out.

      • Raan

        Then show yourself back in to get the round of applause you deserve.

      • jqheywood

        Sigh. You only beat me to that because I had to do actual work for a few minutes.

      • I like that the She who sold this seashells is also the lady who figured out what fossilized dinosaur poop looks like

  • A_Changeling

    I’m sending my euros monthly – I’m a poor but an European poor so I can afford to throw ten socialist welfare bucks at you. If I’ll get to the boning part I’ll find more somewhere, would those then be whore diamonds and you my pimp?
    I hope it works out. It was also lovely to meet you.

  • Michael R
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Sorry, but even Chuckles wouldn’t hit that.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    OT. Finally, a use for alternative facts.
    https://nesncom.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/the-boston-glboe.jpg

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    and, finally, WH.gov keeps the propaganda mill churning while it’s hot:

    Top Highlights From Sunday’s Shows

    https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/02/56/top-highlights-sundays-shows

    • natoslug

      I scrolled through that quickly, but missed any reference to Trump’s Putin knob-licking performance on Falafel Bill’s Shouty Hour.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        interestingly enough, Trump tweeted he’s going to be on Bill O’s show this evening as well.

  • bookish
  • Shrieking Denizen

    Shoot, I was coming to this site for the crepey skin.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      That is a weird trick!

      • jqheywood

        I miss Kourtney….

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Why did Beyonce get pregnit again if Jay cheated on her so bad her sister socked him in the face?

  • Melindrea

    Currently we cannot pay (both I and the +1 are regulars here), but there will be once things have calmed down!

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    I think this delicious snark is worth a downgrade to less delicious drinkys. The Bannon regime is giving me a headache either way.

  • Annie Jomes

    Greetings, I am finally delurking to say howdy. I’ve been reading the Wonkette all election season and have been prodded by this post to at last start throwing money at Rebecca’s face every month. Nice to officially meet you, everyone. :)

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Hai, Annie!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      wilkommen! bienvenidos!

      Come out and comment, it’s fun!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Comments? What comments?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hi Annie! Wonkette doesn’t allow comments, but if it did, I’d respond and say we’re glad you’re here.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Oh hai. The bar is straight ahead, bathrooms are on the left, vomitorium is out back.

    • Hi, Annie! Remove your pants and stay a while!

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Welcome to the nut house. Hope you are not allergic to peanuts.

    • HazooToo
    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      We need to coin a word for this act. It seems to me to be pretty common, I mean, I went through it here as well. I think we all did. Maybe Twonk-To cease lurking on a website and begin commenting. “I loved the site so much I finally twonked and joined in the fun.”

      • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

        “I finally un-canned my clams.”

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          That would make them uncanny clams!

          • FlownOver

            YOU [formerly] MONSTER!

      • Ian

        “Came out” is taken by us homogaylesbimessicasexualians. So paws OFF!

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Hah. That WOULD lead to some confusion. “Mom, I came out on Wonkette last night.” “But why son, why would you come out to strangers before your family?.” “I think you may have misunderstood.”

    • AustenFuego

      Same here! Throwing money at Rebecca’s face feels so good. :)

    • Ed Itable

      Have they told you about the buttsex, yet?

  • Raan

    The unofficial Wonkette D&D game starts up this Thursday night. If I get the okay from the other players, I’ll recap the session during Friday’s open post.

    Wait, does this count as some form of anti-boning?

    • Ωbjectifier

      ‘Fraid so. The only stronger anti-boning force is socks with sandals.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        If you roll above a 17 on a d20 you can cast a hiding spell on the socks.

      • Raan

        Except in Germany, where that’s right up there with schiesse videos.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          That means shooting videos. It’s scheisse videos what are brown and smelly.

          • Raan

            Well, I guess that means I don’t know shit about German.

          • Roadstergal

            It was a nice shot.

          • Serai 1

            If y’all don’t stop, you’re gonna trigger somebody.

      • YetAnotherRebecca

        Hey! I’m a lady-folk type who digs the nerdy boys. Both YetAnotherHusband and I are old D&D players and would love to find a group again but have not had luck with availability (he works second shift so it’s a little tricky). Mayhaps you could elaborate a tad on this unofficial Wonkette D&D game of which you speak?

        And…AND…I am both the product of science-fiction convention sex and lost my own virginity at one. So I can report with great certainty that yes, nerds do bone :)

        • Serai 1

          You were only A YEAR OLD when you lost your virginity???

          • YetAnotherRebecca

            You know what the extra-crispy-bucket-o-jeezus types say D&D players – we are basically Satan worshipers who have no grip on reality and must have the loose morals to match. ;)

          • Biff52

            One would hope.

      • Serai 1

        Hey, I find comfortable footwear VERY sexy. Foot pain is not sexy at all.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Ugh, I thought I was done…sorry, really last one – Trump speaking to “Coalition Representatives and Senior U.S. Commanders”

    It’s full of the usual (you military people like me and voted for me!) but did you know the press isn’t even REPORTING terrorist attacks anymore? Trump says it’s true:

    “It’s gotten to a point where it’s not even being reported and, in many cases, the very, very dishonest press doesn’t want to report it. They have their reasons and you understand that. ”

    By the way, for all the sound and fury, it was a 12 minute speech…

    https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/02/06/remarks-president-trump-coalition-representatives-and-senior-us

    • Raan

      Yes, they certainly do have their reasons.

      One of which would be only reporting things that actually happen.

      • Serai 1

        The day I personally witnessed a demonstration of 100,000 people in Los Angeles and then saw NOT ONE MENTION of it in any news media was the day I stopped believing that everything of note gets reported.

        • RC

          reminds me of the run up to the Iraq war

          • Serai 1

            That’s what I saw, a demonstration against the war. HUGE. Not one word on the news. Not ONE.

          • RC

            that’s exactly why I was so sure that all the wominz marches and there after would do no good (glad I was wrong) because so many people were against the war and it didn’t make one fucking difference. Republicans always do what they will and the country be damned and worse than that they never pay a price for it.

          • Biff52

            shrub considered us to be “focus groups”, and he don’t take no guff from focus groups.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i remember that…several all over the country and nada.

        • Lara

          Yeah, but they’re not going to leave out death and destruction. If there’ s a terrorist attack, it’s getting published.

          • Serai 1

            Oh dear. You poor naive little thing.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Like the Bowling Green Massacree.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          C&L says KaC made the same gaffe in an interview with Cosmo.

          http://crooksandliars.com/2017/02/Kellyanne-Bowling-Green-days

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            If it’s done more than once, it still counts as “misspeaking” in Alternate Factese, right?

            I mean, “misspeaking with intent” is just alt-misspeaking.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I saw an article yesterday — now misplaced, though I’ve been scanning my browser history for it — in which Assmouth tweeted something about the attack at the Louvre, and claimed the museum was on lockdown and that Paris was in a state of fear once again, as after the nightclub attack; and some French politician responded with an elucidation of all the things Trump had gotten wrong. But I was thinking Assmouth was still insisting, even after being corrected, that that was one of the terrorist attacks that went unreported.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        hmmm, I’ve been following him pretty closely and haven’t seen that one. He did say something like that…oh look, I have his twitter feed right here:

        https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/827499871011819520

        • SayItWithWookies

          That’s the one — and as some responders mentioned, nobody was killed in that incident, yet Assmouth has nothing to say about the Quebec mosque attack, perpetrated by a pro-Trump terrorist, that killed six. Not that he’s an anti-Muslim demagogue or anything.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yep…and I guess the “attacker” was from a country not on the list. (Egypt?)

    • Let me guess: he’s referencing the Bowling Green Massacre, there, isn’t he?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, totally possible…as usual, I have NO idea waht he’s talking about.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Rebecca, although I never even bother to log in, I signed up for a recurring ad-fewer some time ago. Please let me know if… oh darn it, I didn’t sign up as “Lance Thrustwell”, did I. I used my somewhat less sexy ‘real name’.* Hm. Anyway, I hope it’s still working and that you are getting my small but steady $. I will try to remember to check tonight.

    Allahu Mazeltov Eleison Hare,

    – LT.

    * No, not Melvin Schlabotnik.

  • Jamoche

    forexposure_txt is a twitter account that reposts really bad ads for “jobs” that don’t pay. Here’s one from Jan 19:

    https://twitter.com/forexposure_txt/status/822111382615166976
    “Could you play at a VERY public event on Jan 20?
    There’s no fee. Not even travel.
    It would be for the prestige, and would be career changing”

    Very public event on Jan 20 that desperately needed people? Gosh, whatever could that be?

    • sw19bender

      The Pro Bowl?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Career changing indeed.

      • redarmyzombie

        Accompanied by a loud flushing sound…

  • Corky Shimazu

    Now sending a few shekels your way monthly. I no longer feel like I’m stealing the vile snarkiness!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • boyblue123

      didnt the NYTimes write a story about Bannon being the one who is the real mastermind in the White House and how hes pulling Drumpf’s strings (well, besides Putin)

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        that’s teh thing, there’s so usually several stories a day about him on their website…but yeah, great point. (I’m only on coffee #2. Brain Boot Up Sequence 50% Complete).

    • Serai 1
    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I love the responses, though I’m sure he doesn’t read them (Or much of anything including The NY Times. I wonder who gets to summarize their articles for him.)

    • redarmyzombie

      All of them, Katie.

  • Junior Minty

    Finally become a member at 10 a month. You have long been a balm of humor when I am ready to throttle the next red hatted loon I see. As a former Memphian now living in NYC, I also reeeealy love Evan keeping me up to date on all the reasons I left the South, and occasionally) like the pix of the Memphis Women’s March, shock me into realizing that they aren’t all like the Christofascists who wanted to fag bash me at the “pizza party” the high school assembly speaker was holding that night at Germantown Baptist Church. You know, the one where he could REALLY tell us why drugs were bad. (HINT: It’s Jeebus). I know that any money you get will be ethically spent paying decent folks living wages and that makes me happy. Keep up the fight!

  • TJ Barke

    I keep telling you guys, patreon.

    • natoslug

      Tequila makes me vomit, unfortunately.

    • sw19bender

      I keep hearing about this. Is it like a tip jar for bloggers?

      • TJ Barke

        Kinda.

    • Serai 1

      So they can take a slice? Some blogs can’t afford that.

      • TJ Barke

        Not saying that should be their only method.

  • Bill Slider

    OK, I donated, monthly, I think, but couldn’t tell for sure. The DNC has no clue these days, but Wonkette sure as hell does. Now, create an alternative budget. No, it is not like alternative facts. As Emperor and Emporess of the International Resistance, you need a higher, regal, salary. I like round numbers. Think of the children (college education). Go for $100,000 per year. Wonk A Day Go Bay Go should be a separate line item, and a business expense. It’s transportation for business until you get the Gulfstream. (I am not the IRS, nor an accountant, nor a lawyer).

    • Sister the Resister

      Babby zebra suits aren’t cheap. just sayin’

  • bookish
    • Scrofula

      Ok, two. Think his point still stands.

      • The last sentence is pretty rich:

        All told, Kurzman said, 23 percent of Muslim Americans involved with extremist plots since Sept. 11 had family backgrounds from the seven countries.

        OOOOH! BIG, SCARY PERCENTAGE! …That is completely meaningless without the total, actual number.

        And, do you wanna build a strawman? The family backgrounds of actual Americans have nothing to do with the question, anyway. Moran. “Well, 100% of the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 was caused by Mrs. O’Leary’s cow*, so it only makes sense to ban the Irish from entering the country.”

        *Yes, I know that, no, it wasn’t. But that was used as anti-Irish propoganda at the time, and for years later. . .

        • Scrofula

          The author really bent over backward with that. I mean, 23% of ALL Muslim-Americans surely have family “backgrounds” to one of those seven.
          Shit, was Iran on that list? Because my ex is Iranian, so I as a Godless-American even have ties.

          • Clearly, you should be BANNED! For reasons. That are totally logical, and not fear-based and irrational. At all.

          • Scrofula

            Y’know, after 9/11, I joked that I’d rename the ex ‘Maria’. That doesn’t work now, either, plus, I’ll get put on the train as soon as they move on to whities.

  • Anna Rompage

    Week 2 of the boss being gone and me doing two jobs at once….

    God I wish I lived in a time where you could keep a little bottle in your desk….

    • Vincent Ricola

      Wait… so we don’t live in that time?

      *clandestinely opens my desk drawer and rearranges papers over hidden bottle of scotch*

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i still wish for indoor smoking at work.

    • Ωbjectifier

      I once had a job where we kept a bong in the desk. Ahh, the good ol’ days.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Wait… so we aren’t supposed to keep bongs in our desks anymore?

        *clandestinely opens my desk drawer and rearranges papers over hidden princess Leia bong*

        • Roadstergal

          Please tell me there is an actual Princess Leia bong.

          …asking for a friend…

          • Vincent Ricola

            I got mine in the 90s, but yes, there were lots of Star Wars bongs available for purchase at the time. I almost went for the Chewy, but all these years later. I’m glad I went with the Leia.

          • Nockular cavity

            Friends of mine called their bong “Jar Jar,” but it was just a regular old large bong.

    • Chadwells

      Working in reality TV…drinking and drugging is practically a requirement.

  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    As a long-term poor, I can only send useless well-wishes of continued support and not cash monies just this moment, but I do applaud the move to kick the fuck out of ad networks.

    I’ve been (mostly) away the past few months – had something in my eye and couldn’t get it dislodged; still not sure it’s gone, but maybe getting my snark-feet back under me again? Dunno.

    On the plus side, tho, I realize that when I do donate it represents a lot more of my income than Orange Dicktator ever payed in federal taxes, and that buffs up my self esteem just a bit.

  • notaten

    I will stay with the ad-fewer prescription, because I am too lazy to change, and I don’t want to be responsible for you starving and freezing. And you are worth every penny.

  • sw19bender

    Open Thread Happy Nice Time Spam:
    The Speaker of the House (of Commons) hates Trump.
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-38884604

    Come round my house, I will cut you bitch.

    • Scrofula

      ” I am even more strongly opposed to an address by President Trump in Westminster Hall.”
      Which the BBC called, ” an unprecedented and extraordinary rebuke.”
      Oh yes, I read his statements and passed out for a few seconds, what a rebuke!

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Canceling my gym membership and will direct those funds your way. After that unfortunate ‘can you spot me bro’ accident, I was persona non gratis anyway.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      What is this “gym” of which you speak?

      • He was the guy Bones was always talking to whenever he found a dead guy and had to say, “It’s worse than that!”

  • anwisok

    Brave move, ‘Trix. As I’ve said, I R poor, so can’t commit to a monthly. But you get more out of me with my sporadic donations than you would if I signed up for the cheapest ad-fewer, so there is that!

  • bookish

    Full transcript of Trump speech to CenCom today; Trump alleges media covers up terror attacks.

    http://time.com/4661658/donald-trump-terror-attacks-speech-macdill-air-force-base/

    • Anna Rompage

      I wonder if the Cheeto hued petulant man child realizes that if he wasn’t running his admin under the guise of totally fucking chaos, that news organizations might be able to cover more than just his childish, immoral and illegal actions…

      • Scrofula

        The guy is such A Idiot he actually CALLS OUT repeatedly the orgs that say “nasty” (true) things about him.

    • cmd resistor

      That is truly awful. As usual. We will never, ever let you down. We will never, ever forget you. We will get you some new stuff.

      • Biff52

        It was bad enough when Melania Rick-rolled the RNC, but now he’s doing it to the military?

        • cmd resistor

          I’m pretty sure he did it somewhere else recently. The inauguration?

          • Biff52

            Could be. My immediate reaction when he appears on my tv is to change the channel, so I don’t hear his words much anymore.

          • cmd resistor

            I try not to hear him myself. I would have probably read it. For sure I did not watch the inauguration, except the bad lip reading version.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah – news media really hates reporting on violence and mayhem. It’s terrible for ratings.

      • h4rr4r

        Yeah, if it bleeds it is as boring as weeds.

  • Suse

    Donald Trump Is Not Welcome To Address Parliament, U.K. Speaker Declares

    The chance to address Parliament is “an earned honor,” John Bercow said.

    • Suse

      Sorry – someone posted this below.

      • Lara

        Oh, it’s worth repeating. :)

        • sw19bender

          Absolutely :)

    • Anna Rompage

      2 weeks in, and even our closest allies are backing away from the stank of this admin….

      • Suse

        He’s the most hated man in the world, I think. His ego is not going to be able to take this.

        • RC

          as long as there are boot lickers in the room he’ll be fine.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Yeah, he has minimal contact with reality and insulated himself with toadies.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          It’s impressive that Trump beat Putin in this regard.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Putin kills his critics; Il Douche denies that they exist.

        • His ego doesn’t let anything in that doesn’t confirm how awesome he is.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Everything else is Fake News

        • Jamoche

          Assuming anyone tells him about it and his personal reality distortion field lets it in.

          http://www.newsweek.com/trump-difference-truth-lies-552292?utm_source=internal&utm_campaign=most_read&utm_medium=most_read3
          EICHENWALD: CAN TRUMP TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRUTH AND HIS LIES?

          • wavicles

            The Truman Show, but with no true men and no true lies.

        • wavicles

          You kiddin’?
          Ego says “I WIN!”

      • OneYieldRegular

        Trumpxit!

      • sw19bender

        The Scottish (SNP) MPs especially seem to loathe him.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Ah, the fresh bright scent of failure. . .

    • Meliflaw

      And don’t let him anywhere near Betty Windsor; his presence might provoke a mortal heart attack.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Where will I go to get my jaw dropping celebraty pix?

    • Martini Ambassador

      Donna Rose and Wonkette niece will easily fill that role.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Top of the thread.

  • anthrodiva

    Don’t worry I’m too lazy to rescind a subscription once it is set, and I bet I am not alone.

    • I could confirm this, but I’m too lazy to respond.

      • Jukesgrrl

        It doesn’t matter because there is no commenting on Wonkette.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Can cosign. I am paying to be an Amazon prime member (and have been since it’s inception) and I barely order anything and forget 100% of the time about their streaming service.

      • sw19bender

        As a sad number-cruncher, being honest, I blanch at stories like these.
        Mind you, as some of my business is built on people going “I don’t understand why am I broke/how is there no money in my account?” – … Me looking at their statements, and swiftly going “Erk!” as my initial suspicions are found to be correct….you guys are not alone.
        Not by a long shot….

        • Vincent Ricola

          I don’t blame you. I blanch every time I sign on to the site and see that I am still a Prime member, then I think “oh, I’ll just grab the free shipping on this one order and cancel it tomorrow”, but it never works out that way.

          I’m going to cancel that sucker right now, as a matter of fact.

          • sw19bender

            Good for you! And don’t think “oh let me just have one final look in case there’s something I want” or my avatar will cockslap you. :)

        • h4rr4r

          I do that too and it is not my job. We get so much use out of prime and Netflix, but we lack cable.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Have you considered the something awful strategy?

    • rebecca

      no, what’s that?

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Ten dollars to get a commenting account. Much banning of idiots ensues. Oddly, many people pay for the honor.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          But then we’d lose Dok’s weekly DS-F-B column! Those nutbags provide content, for free!

          • Jennifer R

            Tons of people pay the :10bux: to unban their accounts. Or in my case other people pay to unban me.

          • Jennifer R

            Also, too, they keep a public record of all probations, bans, and permabans called the Leper’s Colony.

        • Jennifer R

          10 bucks for an account 5 bucks to get yourself a new avatar, 10 bucks to change someone ELSE’S avatar, 10 bucks for Plat (messaging and search (it’s a huge fucking database you have to pay to search it) and 10 bucks for archives. 40 bucks for a new emote for the forums (or to change the name of a current emote, that is why :crossarms: and :colbert: are swapped. You used to be able to pay money to change sub forum names for a while too.

          and 10 bucks to unban your account.

          • rebecca

            YOU JUST DESCRIBED SOLID OPINION

            LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

          • NEVER TALK ABOUT THE DARK TIMES!!

          • Jennifer R

            But this actually works because someone who had the time and drugs to put it all together and make it work well with their multiple times a day front page updates (fun fact I was a target of a front page article once). Having a thread for each topic and a forum with sub-forums to keep stuff somewhat organized (and some of the strictest in the follow the posted rules sense moderation of a forum on the internet which is a real plus in my opinion keeping people in line, no matter what the lines are is important for a web community) is kinda nice. But again it’s a pricy and timey option and totally understand not doing it.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Damn. . I’ve not been a goon for a while…

          • Jennifer R

            I stopped posting like in 2011 so there may be some inflation.

      • Jennifer R

        They started off with a simple turnkey PHP forum that Blue^ and Chrystalis modified the hell out of too. I personally am a fan of how it all turned out, but admittedly it’s a lot of work.

  • Roger Wilco

    OK Rebecca, just don’t say pneumococcal.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      You said “coccal”…

  • subatomic

    Yay. I am a subscriber, but will try to donate again when I get home to a secure computer. However, I am a bit worried about loosing the links to all the “one simple tricks” , boner medications. and celebrities that have aged poorer than me.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Not to mention finding out what Honey Boo Boo’s mother looks like now. It’s SHOCKING!

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    My subscription is up for renewal on 2/15. I’ll make sure I don’t forget to do so.

    • sw19bender

      February 2015?
      I hate to break this to you…. :p

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        No, February 15, but I see what you did there 😜

  • ThatDale

    If we are already giving the moneys but are considering giving more moneys because we are not exactly poor, how does that work? Do we cancel the old moneys and do the new ones? Do we just do more new moneys to equal the total moneys we’d like to give? I am confuse.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yes, I confirmed with PayPal by phone. Cancel the old subscription, then make a new one. They will already have your payment info/address, etc. filled in unless you wish to change the method.

  • Jukesgrrl

    I just confirmed with PayPal by phone (and a human who obviously gave me a fake name) that we cannot CHANGE the subscription amount we pay per month. I had to cancel my previous donation and create new one. Not really a problem since it took less time than calling PayPal did, but they’re doofuses for not giving the option to just increase our amount without the confusion. What did I expect? They’re part of the infamous financial sector. And, by the way, Editrix (if that is really your name!) my payment is a salary for Wonkette’s babby not you or Shypixel. Donna Rose needs a salary, also too, since she is the real star around here (and a friend of David Corn, obviously, so she’s got the connections I need).

  • Ωbjectifier

    “None but ourselves can free our mind”
    – Robert Nesta Marley
    b. Feb 6, 1945

  • Jennifer R

    The weather has decided I should take a break from walking today.

    • snark-lurker

      take your pants off & come right in

      • sw19bender

        As the actress said to the bishop.

        • gaybymml96

          This turned into a porno scene real quick.

          • snark-lurker

            pants are not allowed to comment hear

  • Jamoche

    https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/01/26/opinion/syrian-refugee-family.html
    An original serialised reporting Graphic Novel: Welcome to the New World. This is the true story of a Syrian family’s journey to America. We plan to follow their lives over the coming months.

  • Amanda Panda

    i will continue to give you moneys and hope i can give you more moneys once i am less poor

    • gaybymml96

      Same here.

      Once I haz a job, you will have so many bigly huge moneyz

  • Michael R
  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    I have shamefully contributed to the future delinquency of a minor (the real Wonket Babby) by paying even some more! I didn’t want to stop any of the other ones (RUDE!)

    My plan is sound! A few more of these Wonk-bills and there will be no room on the credit card statement for legitimate porn and sundries charges!

    It’s the charge card version of “I’ll get Donald Trump elected President to make sure that Bernie’s plans will come to fruition.” CAN’T LOSE

  • Chadwells

    Annnnnd here we go…Bowling Greens for everyone!!!!!

    “Spicer to provide list of terror attacks that the media didn’t cover”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/318146-white-house-promises-to-provide-list-of-terror-attacks-the-media

    • Vincent Ricola

      BENGHAZI!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!

    • mancityRed6

      “We’ll provide a list later. There’s several instances …There’s a lot of instances that have occurred where I don’t think they’ve gotten the coverage it deserved,” Spicer told reporters.

      That’s a helluva a leap from “didn’t cover” to “didn’t the the coverage it deserved”. The spin is making me dizzy.

      • Suse

        Stupid Spice, Baby Spice, Scary Spice…

        • Suse

          Bullshit Spice

      • Like a whirlpool it never ends. . .

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        amen

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Two examples of one of my pet peeves coming from Bullshit Spice.
        “There’s (there is) several instances…”
        “There’s (there is) a lot of instances…”
        There ARE. There ARE. There ARE.
        Oaf!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      It’ll come right after the EO to investigate the voter fraud.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        Maybe they’ll tuck it in the tax returns.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Spicer is a lying liar who lies with lies!

    • Juan de Fuca

      “We’ll provide a list later. There’s several instances …There’s a lot of instances that have occurred where I don’t think they’ve gotten the coverage it deserved,” Spicer told reporters.

      Five bucks says it doesn’t include this one!

      ANDERSON COUNTY, Texas — A man has been arrested in the deaths of six people, including one child, in east Texas, according to authorities.

      The bodies of the six victims were found on private property outside Palestine, about 100 miles southeast of Dallas, according to the Anderson County Sheriff’s Office, which called the homicide the largest in county history.

      “A lot of them are family, kin to each other in various forms,” Sheriff Greg Taylor said. “They are not from this area.”

      The deceased — one woman, 4 men and a boy — were staying in a travel trailer belonging to one of the victims. There was one female survivor, according to police, who have not released the victims’ names and ages.

      http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/11/16/family-confirms-6-killed-texas-campsite/75893806/

    • Jack Tenhet

      Bowling Greens again? Are we out of collard greens ffs?

  • Logic of Color

    What I find myself doing, like all the time, is forgetting to use my “members” thingy and my ad-blocker makes it bearable so I don’t really notice. Weird, right?

    • Scrofula

      Best to forget using your member thingy in public anyway.

      • Logic of Color

        Nice dick-joke placement!

        • Ωbjectifier

          Slipped it right in!

          • Jack Tenhet

            Phrasing! ;)

      • snark-lurker

        you have naughty dirty mind

        • Scrofula

          Hey, I’m just quoting my probation orders.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Well, it’s your probation officer, so they outta know.

        • Jack Tenhet

          And that’s what I respect the most in a person.

  • gaybymml96
    • Biff52

      Whoa!

  • Chadwells

    “Spicer argued that Trump’s “policies to protect this country, to create jobs, to grow the economy” do not receive the same amount of coverage as protests.”

    Well, Shitface Spicer….that’s because everyone fucking hates Lord Dampnut and his policies are BULLSHIT!!! WTF is so hard to understand, little lady?

    • Scrofula

      He’s only put one of those policies into effect, and it was unconstitutional and stupid.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Yeah, that policy to “protect” the country hardly gets any coverage.

    • cmd resistor

      I swear I heard Kellyanne C whining the same thing on FOX yesterday morning as we surfed past her quickly. The Mean Media UNDERREPORTS good things about Trump, I think she said. She seemed more unhinged than usual.

      • Chadwells

        Bowling green got her seeing red.

  • Nodrama4mama

    I am happy to pay for my ad-fewer subscription and will send more, once I get through the winter growth spurt and have to replace all the shoes. But you provide a great service and great service, like all nice things cost monies.

  • GAH! I noticed my hair is disappearing off of the top of my head so SEND ME A HAT!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I will make you and send you a pussy hat. What color?

      • Suse

        I would like a pussy hat!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          What color?

          • Suse

            Deep dark eggplant purple

          • CindyinEncinitas

            K.

      • h4rr4r

        How much?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Oh no. There will be no money. But when I die…
          What color?

      • Jack Tenhet

        You got one in black?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Not yet but I can make one.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Cool!

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Like any normal old grandparents would, Grandpa and I took one look at the donation linky then spent several minutes debating the finer points of 1337speak. It got so heated that he broke out the Google, then quietly dropped the subject. (that means Granny won)

    Also too, I love seeing all you lurkers with your shiny new disqus handles! Come on in! Stay a while! The biting doesn’t start until after dark. (the previous statement should not be construed to be a guarantee)

    Also too furthermore, as soon as my sweety has finished programming the computers to do whatever evil thing it is that he does, Grandpa will bump up our ad fewer by a little bit. (not only am I lazy, but I ain’t got time for PayPal’s shit)

    • Jennifer R

      You sound like someone who read last night’s open thread.

      • gaybymml96

        You guyz I learnt so much…

      • Granny Sprinkles

        Dang, what did I miss?

        • Jennifer R

          Me and Sutree swapping stories.

          • Granny Sprinkles

            Oh yeah! I saw that! I even considered sharing a tale or two of my own, but a couple of my kids read Wonkette sometimes.

          • Jennifer R

            Back when I still let her in my life, my mother learned to stop asking questions after she got answers she didn’t want to hear, in detail.

          • Jonny On Maui

            So how many hours ago should I look in the thread?

          • Jennifer R

            like around midnight to 2 am PST or so? My post history is public so you could probably find it off me.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I wish I could donate extra. But Valentine’s day is coming up and I get Future Mr. Cats small gifts to trick him into thinking I’m not as mean as I clearly am.

  • Suse

    Is this our open-thread?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Sorta looks like that, doesn’t it? I was literally just wondering that myself.

      • Gosala

        Me, three.

        I say, let’s just make it so.

        Occupy Wonkette!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Ha! Okay so I drove my dad to my brother’s for the Super Bowl and it was an hour and a half and on the way home he couldn’t resist telling me again that motherfucking Hillary is still coming for his motherfucking guns. I am pleased and surprised that I did not pop an aneurysm.

          • Gosala

            Stay healthy. Sometimes parents, all you can do is put up with them.

            I’m blessed that my mother is an FDR democrat. Dad, bless his shriveled Republican heart, passed away some years ago

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Dad was a union man! Mom was the redneck, but she passed away. I can’t believe the shit my dad says now. And he’s kind of losing it so we have the same arguments almost every weekend and then my sister yells at me for arguing with him and the next time I see him, he’ll bring up some stupid bullshit and it’s off to the races. I need to just start agreeing with everything he says.

          • Gosala

            You’re not surrendering. You’re buying some peace for yourself.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Yep. From him and my sister.

          • Suse

            Oh, dear! Does that mean she’s gonna be our real POTUS?

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I said Well, Dad, the good news is that she lost. And he said Oh no, they’re everywhere. So I guess Hillary has replicated herself and her anti-gun intent and it is infiltrating society as we speak.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Clones libulz!!1!11 Sorry about that, I know this is seriously and it’s very sad when someone you love just can’t seem to see reality anymore. Sadly, there are probably going to be a lot more people like that before this is finally behind us all. Some of us frail humans get caught in mental traps of our own making that we can’t just decide to get out of. I guess that’s the “bubble” everyone keeps talking about. I know what you’re saying. I’ve got family just like that.

            Just love your Dad, even when he’s not logical. He’s still your Dad and you will miss him a lot some day. Then that will pass and you’ll be able to laugh at these times with a strange kind of nostalgia. I know it sounds implausible, but it’s all I know.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I have spent a lot of time with my dad since my mom died and he has told me stories about the shit he did when I was growing up and it is so eye-opening! He told me this weekend that there was a bomb threat at the high school and his engine company responded and the principal didn’t want to evacuate the school. My dad told him “If I want to dump your school and do a search I’m going to dump your school.” The principal challenged my dad’s authority so he went and got a sheriff who was standing outside and together they enlightened the principal on who had the authority in that situation. The principal was later transferred to my high school (which I was loath to attend when I was a senior) and I believe it was the warm relationship between him and my dad that allowed me to graduate (they pushed me out even though they could have held me back for poor attendance. I am sure the guy just said get her out of here. There’s only one of them left after this one.) Lucky for him, my sister was a goody two-shoes and didn’t need my dad’s help to finish high school.

        • TJ Barke

          I already do.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Neat!

  • gaybymml96
    • RC

      I still maintain their too stupid to remember every beer AB or their parent company makes

      • mancityRed6

        I’m gonna put my money on them not knowing which brands they make.

        • Jack Tenhet

          I’m putting my money on them just bloviating online about “boycotts” and buying a case of Bud Lite on the way home because they don’t know that’s short for Budweiser, also owned by AB.

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve been boycotting them for at least 24 years now…except for that $9 bottle of whatever it was I bought at the Sabbath show.

          • Jack Tenhet

            I guess I boycott them. Not really a beer guy, prefer something with more kick and less gas.

          • mancityRed6

            I’m in eastern Kansas, so when it’s hot out, a nice cold beer is a good thing.
            When it’s cold out, straight whiskey is the drink of choice.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I have been boycotting them ever since I drank one at Lake Havasu and had a headache for THREE DAYS afterward. Never drank one again. Oddly, craft beer never gives me a headache.

  • Resistance Fighter Big Puppy

    No way will I drop my ad-fewer subscription. Wonkette and the Wonketteers helped me survive those awful days after the election. And you’ve both been here for all the bullshit since.

    I hope those who can, will pitch in a few bucks a month. And those of you who can’t, we understand. Remember, we’re liberals! You’ll pay it forward when or if you can afford it.

    You guys deserve a living wage — probably more than a living wage because you need to keep the Wonkebago in running order and school Miss Donna Rose to take over the world when it’s time.

    • A_Changeling

      “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs”

      • Gosala

        A large majority of Americans agree with this when it is polled.

        I read it on the intertubes. It must be true.

  • Snow days aren’t as much fun when you are an adult. Anyone in, say, Montana would be laughing their balls off at me, but living at the end of a primitive road with a steep grade means seven inches of snow stops me in the tracks I can’t make up the hill. The sun has just come out, so hopefully everything will melt. Or, at least clear the road. And, no freezing, now, Washington, you hear?

    • RC

      I with you on the outskirts of Seattle… My cousin is in Montana says he has 6ft snow 2 of them in the last four or so days and 25 more inches expected. I’d only move to Montana for an exchange that removes every republican from the presidency, congress and the senate.

    • snark-lurker

      if you not have fun when snoed in your not doin it rite

      • I figure I will go do that very important video gaming what didn’t get did yesterday.

        • mancityRed6

          I started a new Fallout 4 character just to see what some of the mods are like.

    • shivaskeeper

      I spent last night on a friend’s couch. Got ready to leave, got the end of the driveway, and said, nope. 12″ of thick wet snow is not something I’m driving through tonight.

      All is good now though.

      • The sun has been coming out occasionally, and I can actually see the car, now. That’s an improvement. I’m lucky enough to live in an interesting microclimate. Elsewhere in town, it didn’t start snowing until last night. It started yesterday morning, here, so we got slammed.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      They say it’s going to freeze tonight. This morning’s trip from Everett to Seattle at 4am was UGLY

      • It is still above freezing, here, but only just. Though we have no cloud cover and that usually means overnight freezing. Which means tomorrow will be jolly fun.

  • I have the HELL. NO. cap on my vehicle’s dashboard. To that I say “HELL. YES.” You guys all do a good service that is right and just. Can’t say I blame you on the ads…will absolutely support you guys again monetarily.

  • Nockular cavity

    how many of you met and are boning because of the comments

    The WHAT?!???!!!??? And people are BONING because of them???!!???

    • gaybymml96

      I take it you werent here for yesterday’s late-night section of the open thread…?

      • Jennifer R

        You beat me to it.

        • Shan

          Dang. I missed it.

          • Jennifer R

            If you really want to read about me and sutree talk about old exploits you can. If you want to share your own I am sure I can fire up the open thread posting for it.

          • Shan

            Nah, I’m too boring to have any good exploits to share.

    • BONING!!

      https://media.giphy.com/media/OtLoWvwixw7n2/giphy.gif

      (The fact that we can’t currently post photos directly in the thread makes this look so much filthier. . .)

      • Suse

        I was just wondering why I can’t post a photo. What’s up with that?

        • Dunno. There has been much speculation, but the actual reason is a mystery, as far as I know.

          • Suse

            Damn Russians!

          • Jack Tenhet

            Maybe Soros forgot to pay something. He’s a few days late on his part of my cable bill too.

    • TJ Barke

      Almost even worked for me, then I remembered that taking positive steps in my life is contrary to standard operating procedure.

      • Hey, you’re still welcome to visit…

        • Shan

          Great going, Pickwick! Now we won’t see him for DAYS.

        • TJ Barke

          They wouldn’t let me come home…

          • At this point, is that really a bad thing?

          • TJ Barke

            Yes goddammit! I will die on that hill if I must! For the strangling, choking weed of fascism must be pulled out by root and stem to safeguard American liberty!

          • What if Canada invades the west coast states?

          • TJ Barke

            I’ll greet you as liberators.

    • shastakoala

      Wonkette comments or any comments?

    • Jack Tenhet

      They don’t allow comments.

  • SkinlessGenderlessMan

    “because if you’re going to buy through Amazon anyway, you might as well make them give some subversives a cut”

    Do you have an Amazon Smile kickback thingy? Mine is currently set for Médecins Sans Frontières, but for y’all I’d change it….

    • Shan

      Dang it, I had a link on my laptop but it’s all borked and the Wonketariat ads don’t show up any more.

      • Gosala

        Upfist for borked

        • Jack Tenhet

          Upfist for upfist for borked.

          • Shan

            This s getting weird.

          • Jack Tenhet

            It kinda started weird and just took on a life of its own.

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

            Upfist for upfistiing the upfist for borked.
            Fuck I hate autocorrect

          • Jack Tenhet

            And the upfisting just keeps on going.

    • Shan
      • Jack Tenhet

        Thanks!

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Thank you!!

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      Nevermind the “Smile” thing, guessing you’re not a 501(c)3, right?

      • rebecca

        hell no. can you imagine the PAPERWORK???

        • Church Trix. CHURCH. No taxes!

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Actually, you might want to consider this. We can do a LOT of online praising. And no taxes!

          • h4rr4r

            This is a good idea.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Money has been sent. Anyone who can make me laugh in this season of the raging orange-dildo should get some hard-earned cash. Keep up the good work.

  • Chadwells

    No State Dept. YAY… These imbeciles are incapable of running a government. So as Dickface Dampnut runs around freaking the world out…there is no one to clarify his insanity. What could go wrong?

    “Trump’s State Department in Cone of Silence Due to Lack of Staff”

    https://www.bloomberg.com/politics/articles/2017-02-06/trump-s-state-department-in-cone-of-silence-due-to-lack-of-staff

    • Jennifer R

      Too bad Sessions will have no problem filling his jackboots in DEA.

      • Chadwells

        Ugh…I can’t even think about that…

        • CindyinEncinitas

          It’s a pretty funny movie. And you might want to buy stock in Gatorade.

      • Jack Tenhet

        God, I really dislike Sessions. I lived in the state he controlled and I can tell you, it wasn’t good. The only reason he kept getting elected was because of insanely unfair redistricting that left the more liberal counties (Jefferson which includes Birmingham and has a largely minority voting record) high and dry. True story here, most state elections were called BEFORE any votes from Jefferson county were even counted, despite it being one of the most populated counties. I know, I lived there.

        There’s a great amount of blue down here in red America, you just don’t hear a lot about it because they really don’t even count our votes.

        That aside, trust me when I say Session in ANY capacity is a bad idea and obstructing him is definitely a hill I’m willing to die for.

        • Scrofula

          The whole country is bright blue cities in a sea of rural redneck backwaters. Problem is, rural reds are the ones banning birth control.

          • Jack Tenhet

            That’s the plot of “Idiocracy”. Ban the birth control so idiots can reproduce like mice and eventually have a world of nothing but idiots.

    • Suse

      Who needs a State Dept., anyway?

      • Chadwells

        With Dampnut running his mouth and Twitter baby fingers….what else do you need?!

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Means Tillerson is King.

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        A king without subjects is not much of a king.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Well, his first name is “Rex”.

      • Claire

        I’m seeing rumors that Tillerson is Not Fucking Pleased with things like the Muslim ban not being run past his department. I wonder if he’s going to wind up being a useful evil in some respects.

    • Vecchioivan

      Did they hang up a “back in five” sign on the way out?

      • Chadwells

        HAH!

  • gaybymml96
    • Gosala

      I was very bad last night. I twittered Dave Rose (a rabid climate denialist) over and over and over, telling him his latest article is a pack of lies and linking to an article by an actual scientist.

      Am I going to burn in hell?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Probably not. There is no Hell.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Yet…

      • No. Just here when all the not happening climate change totally never happens

      • Granny Sprinkles

        I firmly believe that the notion of hell was created by some salty jerk who was butthurt because he didn’t get invited to the right sort of parties.

      • gaybymml96

        You’re doing the Lord’s work.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Probably, but so are all the best, sanest people so I hear it’s not that bad.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I’ll see you there. I’ll bring some nice tapenade.

  • Lee Hillhouse

    I give an automatic five bucks a month. I wish I could give more but I am unemployed. We are living on one income. I will raise the amount as soon as I can.

    • Gosala

      Widow’s mite and all that.

  • Jack Tenhet

    I’ll chip in as soon as we get squared away here. Just moved and have a lot of medical expenses right now (New state, new doctors, you get the drill). But we will do a monthly fiver as soon as we can.

  • Truly Madly Derply

    I’m a poor and have been giving a dollar every month for a while, now. I’m gonna double my pledge and I challenge all 900,000 plus readers to give a recurring one dollar gift to the best little dick joke site on the whole interweb. Unless you’re a member of the alt-right in which case you should probably save your dollar for the more costly beer you have to buy now that you’re boycotting Budweiser.

    • rebecca

      thanks honeylump :)

  • msanthropesmr

    Wait a minute. The dog is being cute and I can’t attach a photo.

    • Suse

      It’s the Russkies.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Damned Vlad!

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      OT! OT! OT! Give monez instead.

      • msanthropesmr

        I been giving monies since before the public was allowed to give monies.

  • I am liking the new philosophy! Sally forth and kick all the ass!

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
    • Chadwells

      Pretty much everything that asshole has said and done concerns me.

      • Claire

        His actual existence on this planet concerns me, let alone his status as a Supreme Court pick.

        • Chadwells

          YES!

    • Jack Tenhet

      Wow, Iran/Contra? Shitshow. Absolute and total.

  • Dazza

    Hi Rebecca and Shy! I just increased my ad-fewer subscription amount. Moochas smoochas to Donna Rose for me.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    I will continue with my monthly oblation because this is my spiritual home (and Monty Python/Blackadder/clever-as-fuck cultural archive).

    Also, too: bonus points for The Jerk reference.

    Also, also, too: I love my Hell. No. cap. I will wear it proudly (and rudely) to my senator’s office tomorrow.

  • btwbfdimho

    OT: “POTUS” cannot read the English language!
    https://youtu.be/bd79UsXSLWg

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      Donald never hugged a teacher. His fondest memory is punching a teacher in the 2nd grade.

  • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

    The Wonketariat are my people. I will continue to support them until Donnie shuts us down.

  • Earle

    What a week – first I start talking here, now I’m signing up for an ad-fewer?

    What’s gotten into me?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      You hate that comments aren’t allowed and want to change it with cash lobbying?

    • Good dick….jokes?

    • Jonny On Maui

      What or who?

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      I can take it out if you don’t like it.

    • Jon Sussex

      Hey Earle. About what’s gotten into you – keep calm and remember the safeword.

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Deep breaths…

    • shastakoala

      Just keep calm and don’t panic when you’re allowed to comment.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Keep calm, don’t panic and always remember your towel.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          And this is only Monday. Great googlymoogly.

  • Suse

    Just added some bucks to your account, Rebecca. Thanks for all that you do.

  • Mildred Broxon

    If you have Hell,NO hats on every second head throughout the land you still won’t sell many, because dicephaly is a very, very rare condition. How about settling for every head, instead? Except Trumpers, who may not have any.

    • Scrofula

      I think we should pitch in with two free hats for all the dicephalic wonketeers.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Not necessary.
        Yes, it is.
        No. Shh.
        Don’t you shush me!

    • h4rr4r

      I think she meant tiny dick hats.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • RC

      me thinks this is just the start and by the first of next month he won’t be allowed to go anywhere civil to speak.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Zimbabwe?

      • Claire

        Spiegel is going full-on with editorials about how Europe needs to protect itself from the looming threat of American stupidity and banal evil. I can’t say they’re wrong. I just hope they come up with some really, really good ideas, and also that they allow immigration from the US.

    • Tallmutha

      “Barred” is overly enthusiastic, I fear. One of, I think, three people who would be making the decision to allow him to speak has come out against it. With Brexit, the UK needs trading partners and there’s no way Trump won’t be received as a VIP. But non-unanimity is all to the good.

  • FreeCandyVanDriver

    Ad networks are teh Satan.

    Site operators went from self-hosting ads to ad networks because not everyone can read and write JS, and the deal was that ad network operators were supposed to have /some/ scruples. But ad network operators have the same mindset as email spammers – anything to make a buck and screw everyone else.

    Not only do they fuck-over fine sites like this, they also sell ads to nefarious evil-doers bent on running botnets, encrypting and blackmailing users, and just being assholes.

    It’s been 10 years since friends of mine got drive-by infected on Investor Village by an ad network, and it hasn’t gotten any better since then. It’s to the point that deep-sixing ad networks to 0.0.0.0 in the hosts file is not for convenience, but for security. Because the ad networks absolutely refuse to vet any js code at all. The only thing that counts, to them, is whether your credit card works. So fuck ’em. Use something like Steven Black’s integrated hosts file or use Someone Who Cares or some other ad network list and say goodbye to them.

    BTW, Viglink breaks the Internet. Don’t use it. Disqus uses it and various other sites are starting to use it to “monetize the links”. Monetize “this” – it’s bad enough that Viglink obfuscates actual links, but they don’t even do anything to help the end user, like shorten links like bit.ly. I have blackholed them, and while this breaks Disqus links, it’s a matter of principle that I’m not willing to compromise on.

    As a side note, “vig” is mob-speak for income illegitimately generated through loan sharking. Viglink? Really?

    Monetize the eschaton! *sneer*

    I am so “po'” right now that I can’t afford the “or” on the end of “poor” so I’ll have to push subscribing to later. :-(

  • chimpevil

    Really, Rebecca, really??? I mean geez I finally finally signed up for an ad-fewer thingie because I was bedeviled by the floating ad from Hades that stalked me when I tried to read Wonkette on the phone–it was haunting my dreams and I still don’t have a clue what the piss they were advertising, haha and fuck you floating demon, you didn’t get me!–and also I was feeling guilty for using ad-blocker on my PC (damned liberal guilt gene) and now you tell me you’re dropping ads–well I say fie on you, Rebecca et al, whatever the hell any of that means. So after I’m done typing this screed (scree, scree!) I am going right over to paypal and cancel that recurring $4.99, ha that’ll show you and all the slackers and sneaky drinkers on here, who if they stopped drinking for a day and gave you that money, you could probably actually have the actual Beyonce help Evan choose the top ten Wonkers of the week. Yeah and then I am going to march right back here and, well, um, you know, probably re-subscribe for like $10 a month because hell Donna Rose makes me melt and your smile makes me weak even though I am a gay and you and Evan and Dok and Robyn and all the wacky commenters are all that’s keeping me from hurling myself off the bridge in my backyard (yes, I have an actual bridge in my backyard!) So take that! Literally. Ok I should go now but please, people, help keep this site afloat because I think I see that floating demon ad on the bridge and it’s coming closer, or maybe I just need to clean my glasses.

    • Gosala

      Magnificent rant. If only I had more upvotes

      • Naytch

        I shall lend mine to the effort!

      • Jack Tenhet

        Upvoting your wish for more upvotes.

        • Rags

          And upvotes all the way down.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Dear Editrix:

    I would like to donate $42. Because it is the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything. I cannot find that option.

    Jeffo

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      I was going to donate $1 – 42 times, but I didn’t find that option either…….

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        or 14, 3 times? 2 * 7 * 3.

        • gaybymml96

          My head hurts again

    • Shan

      Donate $50. That will include the $42, right?

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Some people just don’t understand….

        • Shan

          I still say it’s in there.

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            I could donate $6 9 times but only in base 13.

          • Shan

            This is starting to sound like math.

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            Wonkette only exists due to the Improbability Drive.

          • Shan

            I thought it was $47 and a sandwich.

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            Naw, I think that is the financing from the previous owner…..

          • Jack Tenhet

            I was assured there would be no math tonight.

          • Jon Sussex

            If I had a nickel for every time….

          • Shan

            Oh, dear!

    • rebecca

      god dammit, shy, come here at once.

      • TJ Barke

        Dear Editrix, have you and Shpixel looked into patreon at all?

        • Gosala

          Patreon? Sounds patriarchal to me.

        • rebecca

          no, but I’ve said the words “we should look at patreon or whatever” a few times

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Randi Mayem Singer
    Verified account
    ‏@rmayemsinger

    Mike Pence is an abhorrent bigot of middling intellect & I’d be extremely grateful to have him take over the Presidency as soon as possible

    Retweets
    1,883
    Likes
    4,155

    • mackafritz

      Not me. He has the same shitty policies without the cover of being insane.

      • Tallmutha

        Well, me, because he has the same shitty policies with the special probably-nuclear-war-avoiding virtue of not being insane.

      • Paperless Tiger

        But Pence has the charisma of a botfly. Trump is popular. Don’t ask me why.

    • RC

      My only concession to Pence is that he would not be so erratic. I don’t care who you are an erratic country makes people nervous and when they are nervous they don’t spend money, except for Wonkettes, and I’m guessing when it finally hits the financial pockets of the big boys we will see some changes.

  • Tallmutha

    All the happy Wonketeers with Rebecca if she was a nice old grey-haired dude:

    https://www.facebook.com/thedodosite/videos/1022805297854145/

    • rebecca

      that’s about the shape of it.

      • Sister the Resister

        We’re not required to lick your face though, right? Hugging is sort of ok, if you like that sort of thing, but not so much with the licking…. plus Montana is an AWFULLY long way to drive….

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    Just moved, so I need a few weeks to recalibrate, but help is on the way soon!

  • Suse

    I have a horrid barometric pressure type of headache. See you guys later. Vive La Résistance!

  • Wes Grogan

    Consider my ad-free donation doubled. It’s a good call, Rebecca. I really hope it works out!!!

  • Claire

    Sadly, I will be A Poor until I get paid again, but I’ll contribute then.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Heh, unintentional comedy in Spikey Spicer’s briefing today:

    “On Sunday, the President had a call with NATO Secretary General Stoltenberg, where he reiterated the United States’ interest in (inaudible) NATO. “

    • RC

      that inaudible is scary.

      • Tallmutha

        At least it wasn’t “(expletive deleted).”

    • Tallmutha

      Ha!

    • Jack Tenhet

      So the call kinda went like “No, we’re still interested in. You see my crowd size at the inauguration? Biggest in history. Bigtime winning here. Media coverage UNFAIR! Sad! *snoring sounds* NATO”

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i think we should play mad-libs with that inaudible…

        interest in destroying NATO?
        interest in bankrupting NATO?
        intersting in pooping on NATO?

        Go:

        • Jack Tenhet

          interest in watersports with NATO

        • Gosala

          Play mad libs? I don’t understand.

          I’m a mad lib. You want to play me?

          • Jack Tenhet

            Mmmmaybe. Do you have a Wawa pedal?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Really asshole??

    “Q And what are the reasons? The President said that we all know what the reasons are.

    MR. SPICER: Look, I think the President’s comments were very clear at the time. He felt as though members of the media don’t always cover some of those events to the extent that other events might get covered; that a protest will get blown out of the water, and yet an attack or a foiled attack doesn’t necessarily get the same coverage.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Oh lord, bringing back a classic:

      He’s the decider.

      And nothing to fear here:
      “He’s the one who develops the policy. He’s the one who makes the decisions…He develops the policies, he implements the policies, he makes the key decisions.”

      • Shan

        I’m so sick of the Masters of the Universe shtick.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Which one of these clowns is Skeletor?

          • mancityRed6

            Kellyanne? It sure as shit ain’t Bannon.

          • Jack Tenhet

            No, Bannon is Beast-man, just more overweight and more alcoholicy.

          • mancityRed6

            Beast-man, the later years.

      • Jack Tenhet

        So basically we no longer have three branches of government? Neat!

    • RC

      Really Asshole? is the correct response to everything Spicer says.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      For the record, Spiky calls it a “gaggle”…total time: 9 minutes.

    • Tallmutha

      I think he meant to say the protest would be “blown out of proportion,” but–paging Dr. Freud.

    • mancityRed6

      Maybe it goes back to that attack on the Saudi ship story that didn’t really gain much traction here even though Flynn tried to use it to gin up war with Iran.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Have you guys considered becoming a 501(c)3? Because I’m gonna say that it’s easier to raise money that way.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Sometimes I like to fill a large plastic tub with water, put on my snorkel gear and pretend I’m a goldfish in it’s bowl.

    • Sister the Resister

      sometimes you are actually amusing. Not very often, but sometimes….

      • Upsetti Spaghetti

        Thanks!…. I think.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        That’s kind. Inaccurate, but kind.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I do the same but with vodka and no gear.

    • Anna Rompage

      If you put some neutrally buoyant bits of plastic in the water, you can pretend you’re in a snow globe…

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Because if you were a creature which is genetically doomed to have severely limited ability to retain information your online life would be less embarassing?

  • Beowoof14

    I just doubled my ad free monies. Hope this works, I keep my sanity here. I will send more when I can.

    • Beowoof14

      Also, got some funny looks from the staff/customers in Costco the other day with my Hell No hat. I mean really the lady handing out burrito samples looked appalled. Which was good.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I will renew my Ad Fewer sub tomorrow, Rebecca. I was trying to save money but this is worth it and I want you guys to live well.

  • Jenny

    I am poor like whoa but monies will be to you hopefully by the weekend.

    • Wes Grogan

      Just remember the Wonkette Golden Rule: There Are No Comments. And the second Golden Rule: Only Give What You Can

      • Jenny

        Ehh I’m poor cuz I spend too much. That’s all. More monies to spend coming up soon!

  • Bill D. Burger

    By shining a light on the EO that would allow broad discrimination by businesses and hiring and firing by federal agencies on the most specious of “religious objections,” it appears, for the moment, the LGBT community can breathe a momentary sigh of relief. Still, Trump intends payback for the TEAliban vote by vowing to destroy the Johnson Amendment and unleash religious politics wholesale.
    Fun times ahead.

    [Trump Reportedly Scraps Anti-LGBT Executive Order, But Vows to Give Churches More Political Power
    STORYFEBRUARY 06, 2017

    (N)ote that the reporting on the Kushners’ intervention here was limited to one particular issue, and that was the question of whether Trump was going to keep in place executive orders from the Obama administration that prohibit the federal government and federal government contractors from discriminating in employment against LGBT people. When Trump issued his statement last week about that, that was the only piece of this entire issue that he focused on. And the reporting in the wake of my reporting on the broad executive order only indicated that the Kushners had prevailed upon him regarding that particular employment issue. That reporting does not indicate at all whether the Kushners prevailed on him about these exceedingly broad religious exemptions, nor does it address the question of what they think about the Johnson Amendment.]

    https://www.democracynow.org/2017/2/6/trump_reportedly_scraps_anti_lgbt_executive

    • Chadwells

      I refuse to believe that Jared and Ivanka stopped anything. I also don’t believe anyone or anything is safe. Much to my chagrin.

      • RC

        The only reason I think there might be a grain of truth is because a lot of the shit show that comes out of the WH these days is after Jarrod and Ivanka turn off their phones ect due to being practicing Jews. I don’t want to sound disrespecting but don’t know what it’s called. Which makes me think Bannon pushes for stuff like the EO on Fri/Sat because he knows Jarrod won’t be there to talk Trump out of it.

        • Chadwells

          You are correct. Bannon does that on purpose. I’ve seen a lot of speculating and reporting on that exact idea.

      • Bill D. Burger

        It’s quite wise to treat any suggestion of positivity from this wholly insane administration with the proverbial ‘grain of salt.’
        Trump is seriously derranged, easily led by Bannon and can change his mind at a whim on any issue and at any moment.

        • Chadwells

          It’s just common sense not to believe their BS. Trump is courting the religious folks with the Johnson act and so on. Pence…we know his stance. Gorsuch…he will destroy LGBT community as fast as he can, if and when. Etc. etc. etc. They’ve given every indication they will destroy them…it’s just a matter of time. It’s fucking disgusting.

  • stubbornirishlass

    Question: How do I increase the amount I am already giving, without creating two separate donations? Can I do that? Can I? Or do I have to cancel the first one and make a second one?

    • gaybymml96

      Jukesgrrl said she cancelled her original donation, and then made a new one instead..

  • TJ Barke

    Wonkette does help me to not do the suicide. And since I am relatively, for a sad millennial that lives at home, flush with cash, I’ll do some donating.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      TJ, where do you live? I am so sorry if you are feeling so low. You are a witty, clever person whose posts are very much valued here. You call yourself a Fat (as I do) but you are not a Fat as is clear from your photo. Would you be offended if I tell you that I, too, have experienced the great lowness, and Prozac and/or Cymbalta have made all the difference to me? It is not weakness, but strength involved in taking the steps to allow yourself to take the help that’s out there. It is also part of depression and/or anxiety to feel sad and/or anxious even just about taking medication. But it really helps. Do you have people you can talk to? Are your parents helpful to your mental health (mine were not, and once I moved out and created my own life, I was much happier). Sorry if I’m out of line, or maybe you’re joking, but as a fellow traveler, I do feel your pain and have much empathy for you. Know that people love you here. And that it is common to feel at sea in your young adulthood. It truly, truly gets better as you get your “sea legs,” and you will know happiness you can’t even imagine now.

      • Jennifer R

        I will second how much medicine can help. The first one might not, or the second, but keep trying. I am on my 7th and finally have something that works well enough to build on.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Thirded, took a few tries, but when something worked it was amazing. If you, TJ or anyone here need someone to just listen, I’m good at that.

      • TJ Barke

        My happiness doesn’t matter.

        • gaybymml96

          YOU LIE!

          It absolutely does.

        • Yr. Gma

          Well, it kinda does.

          • TJ Barke

            If you’re a bourgeois taker, maybe.

          • Yr. Gma

            Well, I am, and you need to be happy to make me happy, so there.

    • rebecca

      pffft, millennials what live at home have the MOST cash! have you ever even SEEN a phone bill???

      • Jennifer R

        I haven’t had a phone bill over 30 bucks (sometimes as low as 20) since moving to Google Fi.

      • TJ Barke

        Yes.

        • rebecca

          well when you say it like that i feel bad.

          OR DO I??? WAS IT OVER YOUR MOM’S SHOULDER?

          Just kidding, OR AM I, thank you, sweetlump. OR ARE YOU???

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Final afternoon update: Oral arguments on the TRO/emergency injunction set for tomorrow afternoon.

    state of hawaii’s motion to be an intervenor denied (basically became part of the case). They apparently filed their own lawsuit in re: the EO, but I hadn’t heard that reported.

  • You can save us (and dick jokes) with your generosity!

    • Tallmutha

      …As phone lines light up all over Bedford Falls, everyone with the same question: “Dick jokes are in trouble???”

      • rebecca

        I loled.

      • Jennifer R

        Never been the same since Hicks died.

    • Sister the Resister

      Snarky mommyblogging ain’t cheap, people!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Fake news? I’d say vernacular journalism, and it was about damn time, too. All that hifalutin MSM etiquette just made it easy for a certain vulgarian to stand out by talking ignorant street trash in the high holy places. Fuck him. Tell it like it is. As for the ads, I hardly notice them except when some ad nerd writes loopy code and the browser nuts up. That ain’t nothing.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I think there’s a difference between what Elizabeth Warren does (which is tell the honest truth in a way people can understand) and whatever Donnie thinks he’s doing (lie blatantly in simple words but without any hint of grammar, facts, or sense).

      • gaybymml96

        If she doesn’t run for Prez in 2020 – I’m gonna be pissed.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          If she doesn’t win I’m gonna be moar pissed

        • RC

          I luv EW but she’s going to be 71 in 2020 and I’m tired of old people and I am not quite that old but I’m old.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    OT Why are the people on “Gilmore Girls” insistent that the 16th century is the 19th? It’s bugging me. I think I might scream.

    • gaybymml96

      I must haz the context!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        They are throwing a 19th century dinner but in reality it’s dinner with a feudal lord and everyone is in Elizabethan or James the IV attire, complete with the sort of rituals you’d have in that time period.

        • gaybymml96

          Oh yes. At the time, I thought that was weird too – but I listened to the jokes and I forgot my original complaint :D

  • Bill D. Burger

    Illuminating and frightening read: The frightening and unhinged wrath you incur when you dare criticize The Dear Leader:

    [VOICE
    And Then the Breitbart Lynch Mob Came for Me

    For 15 years, I’ve spoken out against executive overreach. But in the Trump era, even theoretical criticism puts a target on your back.
    BY ROSA BROOKSFEBRUARY 6, 2017
    Here’s how lynch mobs form, in the age of the alt-right and “alternative facts.”

    First, you inadvertently wave a red flag at an arena full of bulls. Then you sit back and wait for the internet to do its dark magic.]

    http://foreignpolicy.com/2017/02/06/and-then-the-breitbart-lynch-mob-came-for-me-bannon-trolls-trump/?utm_content=bufferd6855&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

  • CatCafe de la Resistance

    OKAY I DONATED I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY. No seriously I am happy to support you however I can. I also think the amazon portal is just fine, and maybe there are other decent companies like Arcadia Power that no one would mind having an ad from. Also too if you added postcards, that we could purchase and then send to congresscritters, there’s at least a small amount of money you might be able to make there. And if you added some basic T-shirts, that say basic things like #resist or #weareAmerica or some such, I for one would certainly buy such things. Also, sell wrapping paper! We all like wrapping paper! I am kidding about the wrapping paper. And the ice cream social and bake sale. Although if it was in Los Angeles I would go to both, and would buy wrapping paper too. But I like wrapping paper.

    • mancityRed6

      the post card thing is a good idea

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        I would love it if she did it and would buy lots of them!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The post card thing could be on the Action Alert tab, which we really need! (I would pay extra for this, and also I would edit it pro bono, plus in case you were wondering @Editrix, I am researching grant funding for non-501c3 media)

      EDIT: I’m on my third beer, so I should prolly not make promises, but what the hey

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        You are wonderful! Also @Editrix, I am a professional writer type person and volunteer myself for any small writing type tasks (though do not want in any way to put paid writing staff out of work). But anything I can do to help, please just ask. Let me know if you want me to email you directly.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Hey how come I can’t post pictures anymore?

    Anyway: https://twitter.com/womensmarch/status/828635618049720323?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    • Rick Hill

      I had to work it out with Ghostery to get some things to pop up.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        what is “ghostery”

        • Rick Hill

          It’s a chrome extension that keeps most unwanted trackers from tracking your every movements and clickbait moment. Other than that, Idk. Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Ugh, Chrome. Chrome is the devil’s tool.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Yes

        • Résistance Land Shark

          Ghostery is a browser extension that removes tracking cookies from web pages. And other things like faceplace trackers, etc.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Even that browser extension is problematic tonight. I think somebody broke the Disqus ___ again! :(

        • Rick Hill

          Yeah, it’s been getting funny…every time there’s an article on Wonkerville about Putin. Coincidence? I think not!!

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      I may be in the minority, but a link is just as good, and Firefox seems to like it too.

  • Sister the Resister

    I’m too lazy (ok, “at work”) to scroll through 961+ comments BUT have we determined whether the absence of the picture linkey in the reply box is a glitch, or the new normal? I know some discus-using sites do not offer the option to upload pics (Washington Monthly, for example), but whaaaaaaaaa whine whine, I love my picture linkey!

    • rebecca

      I think it came at the same time I switched to Disqus’s “I will pay you money to let us have comments instead of this ad.”

      so ….

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        sad face

      • gaybymml96

        That’s odd – I’ve been able to upload pics through my phone.. Atleast…

      • Sister the Resister

        *Pout*
        Oh well, I come for the snark, not the ability to post pics. But looks like Sister A will have to revive her Photobucket account so I can link to stuff from my pic archive.

      • h4rr4r

        Call them, demand a fix! You are a paying customer.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        No complaints here. Between Diqsuq and all the graphics we were cramming down its throat, comments took forever to load, and made Firefox all sad and “not responding”. That seems to have stopped…

        • Jennifer R

          And the dance parties.

        • Sister the Resister

          The comments loaded faster if you switched your Disqus options to “hide media” (wherein you’d get a linkey in the image’s place, and could individually hide and reveal them as desired). So if we ever get the picture linkey back, I’d recommend that.

      • jowgajen

        From my perspective, the Disqus ad was singular and not that bad. I would consider saving that monies, depending on how much it is.

        Some of the ad-fewer ads were really awful, you could always count on a pic that made you nauseous, or a video clip that hung up your browser, etc. I believe wonkette will be stronger without those.

        I think a couple more Arcadia-power type progressive company ads would be a harmless stream of revenue. I also think you could do fun things with membership levels and/or merchandise.

      • Jamoche

        I made a bug report comment, from what I’ve heard they pay more attention if it gets lots of upvotes:
        https://disqus.com/home/channel/discussdisqus/discussion/channel-discussdisqus/bug_reports_feedback_photo_button_gone/

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Errrrrrrrrr . . .no upvote arrow?

          • Jamoche

            Well, hell. There was one the last time I did that.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!! Precedent Bannon is coordinating an attack against Wonkette!

          • Jamoche

            Aha – there’s a “Recommend” button.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I “recommended” it. Also saw a reply from a mod – which I posted as a direct reply to ‘Trix, in this thread.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Reply from a Mod on the bug report Jamoche made:
        “Have they made sure they didn’t disable media uploading? The option doesn’t appear on sites that disable the feature.”

    • Anna Rompage

      Has anyone tried posting a pic from something like photobucket to see it that works?

      I’m just about to head out from work and will try it later this evening…

      • Sister the Resister

        Seems we can still post links – BUT remember to open in a separate tab, peeps, or your wonker page and non-comments will disappear as the image/tweet/etc is loaded

  • Rick Hill

    “I will reach through this computer monitor and STRANGLE HIM UNTIL HE IS AN OOZY PUDDLE OF CORPUSCLES. ”

    Is that a promise? I hear oozy puddles of corpuscles have it pretty good…almost as good as people with Obamaphones and Soros protesting monies.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    OT (off all topics) , youknow what I really want for dinner? Cheddar-sour cream potato chips. Is that bad?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Only if you open and eat the second bag.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna’ love somebody else? ___ Can I get an ‘amen’ up in here?” ___ RuPaul

    • proudgrampa

      It’s not bad if you share…

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Oh, now that’s just mean (lunch with DIL was first human contact in 4 days, if you don’t count the cashier at Walgreen’s)

        • mancityRed6

          If we don’t count the cashier at (fill in the blank), then I’m mainly left with the people I work with, and that ain’t much.

    • Jennifer R

      I was bad and ate a bag of those the other day out of frustration at the world.

      • Shan

        I need that problem. When I’m stressed, I can’t eat. All I’ve had today is a peanut butter sandwich and 3 slices of pepperoni. And some tea. That’s been going on for so long that I’m 20lbs under my DL weight.

        • Jennifer R

          I am busting ass and rationalizing my meal choices so hard to get back to my ideal presurgical weight, but like these 25 pounds I put on after are fighting me every damn ounce. Doesn’t help that food never said an unkind word to me. Kinda how I ended up 350 in the first place.

          • Shan

            Whoah. I won’t complain ever again!

          • Jennifer R

            A friend of mine who had problems keeping weight on found moderate success by adding a ton of ice cream to her diet.

          • Shan

            That doesn’t work when you’re lactose intolerant, sadly. I thought about meal shakes but they usually have milk and/or soy and I can’t do soy, either.

          • Jennifer R

            They also taste awful. A different friend of mine who IS lactose intolerant was drinking soylent for meals (anhedonia, and the idea of eating food actually made her sick so she would forget to eat for days at a time). Of course soylent is made in old paint cans and the 1.6 version was giving people food poisoning. (also if you DO go that route you can buy actual feeding tube mix for way cheaper, and it’s guaranteed to not be whatever the fuck soylent is).

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I had peanut butter also too, but it was a new jar that had to be mixed for that first time afor it goes in the fridge so I think the mixing calories almost burned my sammich calories cuz the new jar in the pantry wasn’t upside down waiting for its stir. And some wasabi flavored almonds that are good.

          • CatCafe de la Resistance

            Totally, mixing the peanut butter uses up ALL the calories for the entire day. Wasabi peas are also too very good.

          • Shan

            Mix it in a bowl and put it back in the jar. That’s the best way I’ve found to do it.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I thought I invented that! And also too, a spatula that’s all one solid piece and not a spatula head on a stick that’ll pull off the stick and stick in the peanut butterz.

            Good to squeeze in a little kitcheneering here on this mommyblog for a break from those things outside…

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I’m like that too. A battle I have been waging with food since I was 6.

          • Shan

            I’ve never really had food problems other than bolting it as a kid and having it bounce right back up again, but that’s because I would get crazy hungry due to being on “normal” people’s eating schedules. Since I figured out I have a super-fast metabolism and need to eat just a LITTLE bit of food every couple of ours, I’ve been fine.

            I’ve just never been stressed/depressed for long enough for my weight to fluctuate more than 5lbs either way, never mind 20. (Actually 30 but I was 10lbs up due to other issues a year and a half ago.) I don’t like feeling “small” now. I was comfortable being in the M/L range.

            I know, I know. First world problems.

    • Sister the Resister

      Yeah, bad, but in a good way.
      Try them with cottage cheese as a dip.
      Even better, barbecue potatoe chips and cottage cheese. Mmmmmm……

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Fritos and cream cheese. Beach food.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      I went to the gym and had to stare at my fatness in the mirror and pretend I was totally fine, “hey I’m working on it,” as I was actually thinking about the Ruffles I was fully going to eat with my sandwich for lunch afterwards, and did.

    • tehbaddr

      Only if you feel bad about it.

  • Granny Sprinkles

    The more of these imaginary comments I read, the more I realise what a horny and lonesome bunch y’all are. Here I’ve been, desperately trying to find Millennial Daughter a man for months and not one offer! Lucky for me she isn’t fighting with her landlord any longer so I don’t have to worry about her trying to move into my guest room for now.

    • Rick Hill

      Good luck with that. When I read about guys that are terrified to text a girl to ask them out…I worry about the survival of our species.

      • Shan

        I threatened to mace the last one. It worked out ok, though.

        • Jennifer R

          Sounds like we know the same sort of people.

          • Shan

            Well, I was just joking with him…

          • Jennifer R

            A friend bought a stun gun and was showing it off, and was offering to zap people. My other friend (who’s house it was) had to intervene before I let me (my leg, I am not a dumb ass)

        • Rick Hill

          This is part of your mating ritual? I think I may have found a small flaw in your approach…

          • Shan

            We’ll see in a few weeks…

          • Rick Hill

            Well, if you’ve read any helpful internet “life hacks” that pepper spray can also be used as a lubricant, I’d advise ignoring that one…

          • Shan

            I uh…don’t think that’ll be um…

          • h4rr4r

            Fun story; I once cut up a bunch of habeneros and then took a piss. That was bad. I washed my hands and dick and tried not think much of it. That night me and the wife made the beast with two backs. She was not amused.

          • Rick Hill

            Much better than clearing weeds and discovering there was some poison ivy around…the next day, of course.

          • h4rr4r

            Thankfully neither of us reacts to that.

            My brother ends up needing steriod shots and still spends a week looking like he has a terrible disease.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Gotta disagree with your foreplay work there Shan.

          • Shan

            Well, he’s Irish.

          • TJ Barke

            Needz moar whiskey.

          • Jack Tenhet

            In that case, better safe than sorry.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        You don’t have to tell me about it. She is a grown-ass woman who still calls her mommy to ask how to talk to boys. Last week her little sister actually took her phone away from her and made her a date with some she’d already been out with the week before. HER 17y/o SISTER HAD TO DO IT FOR HER.

        • Rick Hill

          Let me look up the (insert nationality you do not care for, here) sex manual. Sounds like they may need this at some point:
          Step one- Insert.
          Step two-Pull out.
          Repeat if necessary

          • Granny Sprinkles

            Seriously, she is a very nice looking, clever, funny young woman with good personal hygiene, but she is afraid to ask. No matter how many times I assure her that “U want sum fuk?” is a nearly perfect pickup line, she gets anxious at the thought of saying hello.

            I’m proud of her though, because for the first time ever, in her mid twenties, she has decided she wants a boyfriend. That was a big leap for her.

          • Shan

            You made me startle my cat! Nice job!

          • Rick Hill

            Not trying to reinforce gender roles but if a guy can’t work up the gumption to approach such a young lady on their own(with a hint or two, of course) then….Idk….

          • Granny Sprinkles

            Nope, she rejects gender roles entirely. She just doesn’t grasp nonverbal communication so she assumes every man who tries to talk to her is just being friendly and she has zero flirt game.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Are you implying lonesome and horny aren’t the default human state?

      I… have not lived well, then.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        /snarkoff It actually makes me sad to contemplate this.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Lower your asking price, maybe? *ducks* *runs away*

      • Granny Sprinkles

        I’ve already gotten as low as “I will pay you $2 American to take the girl”! If I offer any more it’ll have to come out of Trix’s whore diamond monies and nobody wants that!

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      TJ is very nice and he is a millenial too! We need some nice Wonkmatchmaking and a WonkWedding!

      • TJ Barke

        I’m not good for other human beings.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      The guy that was making me all tingly inside has moved on, it seems. He spoke on Friday about meeting face-to-face and when I said yes he went dark. I has a big major sad. I thought he was on the level.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        :(

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I feel bad and he should feel bad. Mostly because he was the one egging me on. I dropped my guard and allowed myself to picture it. I’m such a chick.

          • Granny Sprinkles

            Do you see that immediately after you said “he should feel bad” you turned around and gave him cover by blaming yourself? Stop that.

            That was a dick move on his part. He should feel bad. FULL STOP.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            guess what? he came through. not sure what the delay was but he’s not being a dick after all. keep a good thought.

          • Granny Sprinkles

            I will now share with you the insightful romance advice Teen Daughter recently gave Millennial Daughter; “Ya gotta be poppin’, ya gotta be a bad bitch, ya gotta get it goin’ on”. I’m not really sure what it means, but it sounded empowering.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            It does but I don’t want to break a hip. I mean, I know for sure I’m going to need it.

  • gaybymml96

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/828752001861373952

    I really feel bad for KO at this point.

  • Sophia

    Do you accept Canadian Tire money? I will send real money out this week. Do something about the US/CDN exchange rate and I’ll send more. Good luck on this. Hope it works out.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Will work for TimBits.

    • h4rr4r

      Canadian pesos are pretty much at their normal levels for my lifespan.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Breaking news: About a year ago I applied to be one of those aboard the first manned mission to mars. After attending numerous interviews and teamwork sessions, I received a letter in the post that I have made into NASA’s top hundred list of possible candidates. Imagine that! , I’ll be the first Wonker in space. Luckily after making a few inquiries with NASA they have assured me that after the colony is set up, I’ll ge able to work on finding some free wi-fi so I can continue talking to you guys!

    • Truck Fump

      Awesome. Give my regards to the FSM .Is that Wonker or Wanker? Or Wonker Wanker?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yes, yes, and the lying networks are covering up terror attacks in Europe. Sure thing.

    • TJ Barke

      Just remember that the longest time delay between here and Mars is about twenty minutes. Which means you won’t get replies for forty.

      • Jennifer R

        It’ll be like trying to jerk off in the 300 baud modem days.

        • TJ Barke

          Better compile a drive of favorites before you leave.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            a “thumb” drive

        • Jack Tenhet

          Painful memories.

    • Crank Tango

      Whatever you do, don’t pay extra for oxygen. It’s a scam, and you don’t need it.

      • Upsetti Spaghetti

        I’m bringing along my pet tree Jerry for food, company and oxygen.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Well best of luck. I think you’d do very well on Mars.

    • wavicles

      So’s not to ugly up the view of the Martian scape, I’d bring along one of them tree-lookin’ cell-towers to get started w/my Android.
      On second thought, by then ‘my Android’ will prolly mean somthin’ else.

  • Truck Fump

    I have joined the Wonkolution to overthrow our misogynistic orangey overlords (with votes and dick jokes) with a monthly donation that I refuse to provide at other sites.

  • shastakoala

    I will send money thru snail mail as soon as I am allowed back at work. But little Donna will always get a xmas present!

  • gedjcj

    I, for one, will keep paying my Ad-Fewer subscription, as well as the monthly donation I set up and didn’t cancel when Ad-Fewer came along. And I will throw money at you at other times and buy your merch. My life would be much poorer without your commentary and without the wonderful community of the Wonketariat.

    I think you should keep the Arcadia Power, and frankly I don’t have any problem with seeing “Friends of Wonkette” ads.

    Also, too you will not “STARVE, FREEZING, in the streets” unless you are too stinking proud to come live in our spacious, comfy basement where DR can play with the grandged every day. I’m sure we’re not the only Wonketeer who would happily share our last coffee can of hobo beans with our beloved Wonkette.

    • Sister the Resister

      Yep, I bet the Wonkette staff could pretty much couch-surf around the country for the rest of their lives ‘cuz we lurves them so much. But that’s no way to raise a babby and a couple of big dogs. BUT WE WOULD DO IT, I KNOW WE WOULD!!!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I totally would but my place is so small, if they wanted to use the bathroom I would have to move out.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      I second this emotion! @Editrix if you ever come to the Los Angeles, I’ll stand you to a fine dinner of one of the 180 cultures we have represented here, but most likely, a taco truck, no, a real Mexican restaurant of your choice.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        I miss two things from my days in California. The little kids selling churros from a cooler, and the little kids selling tamales from a stock pot… and the taqueria on First Street, so three things. Then there’s Tao Tao Cafe in Sunnyvale (iirc) so four, I miss four things…

        I think I’m saying I envy you your multicultural dining options.

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          Come visit sometime! It’s really wonderful here.

  • Paul

    I will donate as long as i never ever have to see those douchey right wing “polls” on this site again.

    • rebecca

      not only that, they owe me ten thousand dollars.

      and they’re not paying up.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        I am stunned, absolutely stunned to here that.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Moi Aussi.

      • gaybymml96

        PONY UP THE CASH, MOFOS!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Ah! So, THAT’s why you were looking for a lawyer. Hope you get a real shark.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        fuckers.

      • Rick Hill

        It’s not a subsidiary of DJT inc, is it?

      • Crank Tango
        • Shan

          I love that song. Did you ever see the video of the ASL student signing to it? I think it was part of her Masters degree.

          • Crank Tango

            So good!

      • Ωbjectifier

        You want I should send Vito over to have a chat vote?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Moose and Rocco are available, you know, for a fee.

      • Shan

        Who are they? Can you tell us?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          They sound like DJT.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          UNLEASH THE SNARKMOB!!!!

      • Jack Tenhet

        Sounds typical from people like that. They never want to pay anyone for anything.

      • h4rr4r

        Right wingers not pay their bills, shocking!

      • sw19bender

        What about Hoft?

    • Sophia

      But now you will never find out what to do to fix crepey skin

  • WomanInTheResistance

    I will certainly continue my subscription. You all make the world a better, snarkier place.

  • Thomas Hodgson

    Bravo. I’m buying some Wonkette swag as a way of assuaging my cheap Yankee self. You get money. I get Liz.

  • Fat Apollo

    done and done from Canuckistan!

  • nonono

    I bought hats for me and my favorite protesters.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Ninth Circuit will hear arguments by telephone tomorrow at 6pm EST regarding lifting the District Court’s stay. Three-judge panel drawn includes one Carter appointee, one Obama appointee, and one George W. Bush appointee.

    • RC

      maybe they can all do the right thing and join the “so-called” judges club

  • elan

    I have wanted to donate to Wonkette for months. Your move has finally prompted me to give. It’s only $10, but I am a poor and also too a old.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      It is perfectly fine. If everyone gave $10, she’d be in great shape. Everyone thanks you. Including the rest of us olds.

    • Sardonicuss

      U r me!

  • gaybymml96

    https://twitter.com/NBCNewsPR/status/828747623469285377

    Hugely bigly succesful raid missed its target because of CROOKED MEDIA ETC

    • Msgr_MΩment

      YEMENGHAZI!!

      • ViveLaRésistance

        When will Trey Gowdy be starting the investigation?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          How about never? Does never work for you?

  • gaybymml96

    https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedOzPol/status/828747641177600002

    Centrist Nick Xenophon has a message for DJT.

    • Vecchioivan

      Good on ya, mate!

    • Jack Tenhet

      Good!

  • wavicles

    zen is like; it’s all necessary. And I’m like; yeah, but Wonkette is necessarier, er.

  • WomanInTheResistance

    So I missed the very short new commenting system. And I no longer have Melissa McCarthy on the Disqus. What’s going on with that?

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Short commenting system was basically two tin cans and a string. Bigly bad.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Why do I suspect that it will become a part of Wonkette lore, and when the kids gather ’round, asking for tales of the Short Commenting System of ’17, I will be forced to say that I needed a Trumpbreak, and binge watched Foyle’s War?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Ooh, Foyle’s War. Well, at least you spent your time productively.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Is it wrong that find Micheal Kitchen sorta sexy?

          • Jack Tenhet

            I’m straight and married and I do, so no, it’s not wrong.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Me too.. And binary cgi male, if I got all the adjectives right.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Cgi? You somehow seemed more corporeal than that.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            oh.. um.. csi then

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I could be wrong, but I think it’s cis.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            That’s it! I think… but is that the same or different from binary?

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I honestly got nothing on binary.

          • Jukesgrrl

            I find competent people sexy.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Yes, that was Wonkette’s Bowling Green. #triggers #neverremember #whatsahashtag

          • WomanInTheResistance

            You deserve all the upvotes.

          • Shan

            *snort*

            #neverremember

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Foylez War is good for Bingen. Utter reasonableness.

          • LucindathePook

            Love to watch Michael Kitchen says whole paragraphs with one eyebrow twitch.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            And… that expression of his.. is that what pursed lips are?

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Yes. Yes it is. Could not stop.

      • Crank Tango

        string can libel!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Ads are gone!

      • Shan

        For now

        • Jack Tenhet

          *Sinister music*

        • h4rr4r

          My phone is loving it. It is staying normal temperature.

          • Shan

            I still have to restart my browser on my phone every so often when it gets laggy.

          • h4rr4r

            So far so good on that front.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            My 5S would begin to glow in the ultraviolet.

  • Tony West

    I just bought a subscription.

    I come here every day for solace.

    The writing is fantastic both in the articles and in the comments.

    I hope this does not get rotten fruit thrown my way, but a decent source of conservative news is mediaite.com. Ziegler has been and is anti-trump and some of the articles he writes are caustically amusing towards the idiot president.

    • Yr. Gma

      Anti-trump is always good.

    • RC

      In that same vein I listen to the Commentary Magazine podcast. Conservative Jews who will choke before they say nice things about Dems but I find I get an interesting conservative view point without the donald love. I seldom agree with them but I don’t expect to. I would just like to hear someone from the right that isn’t completely bat shit crazy ala FOX.

      • sw19bender

        I follow several small c conservative twitter accounts. Also McMullin, altho obvs he is a social conservative, at least he believes in (and has read) the Constitution.
        Unfortunately, a lot of conservatives just want to be in power (or progressives away from the levers) so will put up with an immense amount of Trump-like bullshit before they crack – if indeed they do.

        • RC

          McMullin and Rick Wilson are about the only conservatives I still follow. I figured McMullin was a social conservative cuz Morman.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I read David Frum when I want to hear a conservative voice that isn’t completely insane.

  • Yr. Gma

    I keep having problems with the “dashboard” (whatever that is) but when I finally figure out what the problem is, I’m upping my monthly pittance. I do it because I can afford to (I am very lucky that way) and because it’s obvious to me that this place is more than just important to my sanity, but it is vital to some others who need the support to get through one day to the next. Our open thread is pretty much a godsend for some of us, and I will do what I can to keep it going. I also think Donna Rose is so adorable that it’s a small price to pay for continuing pictures of her sweet face.

    • Spoken just like my Gma in the olden days.

    • Jennifer R

      The dashboard is the little part of the webpage where your controls are at. Like the dash of your car.

    • Sister the Resister

      Thanks, Gma – I do the ad-freeish version myself, and you are right in all your particulars there. And puts in perspective what it means that those of us who are able to toss some of our Soros-bucks Wonkette’s way, also help shore up things for those who can’t donate, and have to spend money on extras like “food” and “rent” and “way to get to my job” and so on.

      I know Wonkette does not trip the trigger of everyone, but the weird wonderful combo of snark and analysis and recipes and, of course, dick jokes, was helping my sanity all through primary season and the crazeeeee period between the conventions and The Day of Doom (aka Nov. 8th). Since then, it’s been a lifeline.

      Did I ever mention that late on the 9th, I went through the comment section of the election day overnight thread, and read EVERY FUCKING ONE of those suckers? I did it in chrono order, and it took me a while (2200+ comments), but if you’re laid up on the couch or something someday, do that. It was a pretty good reveal of just who we are, and how we lean on each other, and why this is, indeed, a community.
      GO FUCK YOURSELF AMERICA (scroll down to get to the comments, of course).

      • Shan

        I could hug everyone here right now and I’m not even drunk!

        • Sister the Resister

          Just wait till ya git some liquor in ya!

          • Shan

            I’m considering it…

      • notaten

        I did the same thing on that awful day. I just couldn’t manage to do anything else. Wonkette helped put my brain into safe mode until I could somewhat cope with the new reality.

      • Yr. Gma

        Amen.

    • FlownOver

      A little remedial $ite instruction may be in order.

      At least one of us (FO) would like to increase the total Wonket Emolument™, but what’s the new deal with past Ad-fewer subs and monthly contributions? What’s the step-by-step for merging those monthlies and increasing total Donna Rose Dollars?

  • Gosala

    OK. My back has seized up and I can barely move.

    I’m drunk of my ass and can barely see.

    So it’s beddy bye for me.

    The rest of you, keep fighting for today, else we get this

    https://youtu.be/29Mg6Gfh9Co

    • Vecchioivan

      I feel your pain.

      Also, Donny Osmond hasn’t aged a day.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        But you should see the picture in the attic.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Take care! Be joining you in intoxication soon.

      • Vecchioivan

        That’s the spirit!

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Wine not?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Is it wine o’clock?

          • WomanInTheResistance

            When is it not?

          • MynameisBlarney

            When it’s Beer:30.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            I’m working on an old vine Garnacha, “El Miracle”.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Donating blood tonight… Booze before or after?

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I think blood banks generally prefer their blood to be non-boozy. Just a feeling I have.

        • Jack Tenhet

          After. With the blood loss, you’ll get way drunker with much less effort.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Booze Science!

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    US police threaten to punish drink drivers with Justin Bieber – BBC News

    This is unconstitutional. But I like it…….lol

    • sw19bender

      Cruel and unusual!

      • gaybymml96

        Is it too late now to say sorry..?

        *runs and ducks for cover*

  • Sister the Resister

    Okay, here’s a workaround for the “we can’t post pics” thing, at least for us Chrome users. This also avoids that awkward thing that happens when you click on a link and it loads it into your (once was a) Wonkette window, and your Disqus display is wiped out.

    Basically, you hover over a link, a little “EZ” icon pops up, and if you click that, a new “preview” window pops up and you can see whatever the linkey links to. There are other extensions that do about the same thing, this is just the one I chose to try out.

    https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/ezlinkpreview/nnkcfbiefgdaceeplickkkmifpicbpcc?hl=en

    • Jennifer R

      I just open links with mouse 3/middle mouse button/ scroll wheel click in.

  • Suse

    Damn – still can’t post photos. :-( If you have a FacePlace thing, please check out https://www.facebook.com/sovietvisuals/ It’s a kick.

  • Juan de Fuca

    The time that Richard Branson met Trump:

    Some years ago, Mr Trump invited me to lunch for a one-to-one meeting at his apartment in Manhattan. We had not met before and I accepted. Even before the starters arrived he began telling me about how he had asked a number of people for help after his latest bankruptcy and how five of them were unwilling to help. He told me he was going to spend the rest of his life destroying these five people.

    He didn’t speak about anything else and I found it very bizarre. I told him I didn’t think it was the best way of spending his life. I said it was going to eat him up, and do more damage to him than them. There must be more constructive ways to spend the rest of your life. (Hopefully my advice didn’t lead to him running for President!)

    Thanks Richard Branson!

    https://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/meeting-donald-trump

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      And since Obama was just hangin’ with Branson in the BVI on vacation, I have new respect for Branson. Also Virgin records in the ’70s was one of my lifelines to avant garde music.

      http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a52775/barack-obama-hat-backwards-caribbean/

      • Juan de Fuca

        Ha! Sweet. Hat on backwards because he’s more than earned the right to wear it however damned well he likes. I’ve always respected Branson as a decent business type, even more so now.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Branson seems like the most fun of all the billionaires.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Did you catch Trump saying that he was deregulating banks, because “you couldn’t borrow money from banks in NYC?” He should have clarified by saying “I can’t borrow money, because I’m a crook who always leaves the banks holding the bag. They finally got wise to me, and stopped loaning me money, so I’m deregulating them, so they’ll be forced to loan a bum like me money.”

  • Begin Anew Day

    There seems to be a lack of MLP graphics lately.

    Have you grown bored with the harbingers of friendship?

    I was just getting used to them. Now you don’t want to use them?

    Or did the death merchants at Hasbro twist your arms?

    Those MONSTERS!

    • Jennifer R

      Might I suggest furaffinity and or inkbunny?

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Maybe Dok coughed up that lung that was giving him fits before he got a chance to do us some Photoshops.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Politics_Nerd

    I am glad you got rid of the ads. They were absolutely obnoxious and I had zero guilt using an adblocker on your site. I did use the amazon link as much as possible however. I am not sure it works if you use “amazon smile” tho.

  • sw19bender

    Video of the Speaker of the House (UK version) kicking Trump’s lardy arse:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/john-bercow-donald-trump-attack-full_uk_5898bc2ce4b0505b1f598633

    A polite, but forthright, British spanking.
    Pull yer pants up Donnie, it’s all over.

  • Chadwells

    Pretty sure if I said the things I want to say about this…the fuzz would be knocking on my door. Anyway….little baby hands man-child Lord Dampnut needs a pep rally.

    “Donald Trump Invites Sheriffs Who Love Him And His Immigration Views To The White House”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-invites-sheriffs-who-love-him-and-his-immigration-views-to-white-house_us_5898f638e4b0c1284f27b86f?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    People gave such good reviews of “Gilmore Girls” and the more I watch the more I’m confused??? Lorelai’s mom isn’t abusive and she tries her best to be supportive and all she wants to do is be a part of her life and Lorelai reminds me of those people who commit elderly abuse at this point.

    • gaybymml96

      Yeah, I thought so too. But my sister completely disagrees with me – probably because she, like Lorelai, was never on best terms with our mother.

      The horror stories she’d tell me.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        But my mom is actually abusive and her mother is nothing like that. A lot of the things she asks for are common decency.

        • gaybymml96

          Maybe not.

          But, later in the series, they do tend to show their manipulative side

    • rebecca

      correct.

    • Beautiful Soup

      You are correct about the way Lorelei treats her mom. I enjoyed the show anyway but sometimes had to yell at Lorelai.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    FB post by ‘Trix, 1 hour ago:
    “lol you guys? so far our average donation today is …

    27 dollars”

    *gigglesnort*

    • sw19bender

      Sadly, only eight people actually donated. The rest of us have been doing a Spicer.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        DOH! Hope to fuck you’re wrong.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    If I can get a post on Ben Sasse’s “They are not going to retire at 65 and play 35 years of middle class entitlement golf. We need entitlement reform before we go bankrupt” gaffe from yesterday’s This Week with George S., I will send a few bucks out of my “middle class golf entitlement” monies.

  • NewLarry

    My very first post, ever! I’ve been lucking for a while, not feeling worth of non-commenting because I didn’t pay. Well, I unloaded some bucks, and here I am! Be gentle.

    • gaybymml96

      Welcome!

      Don’t worry, there’s plenty of lube to go around..

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Welcome to the Family! Good lurk!

    • Jennifer R

      I believe in working people up. Cold starting isn’t a ton of fun.

    • sw19bender

      Welcome to the NewLarry, same as the OldLarry.

      • Jennifer R

        Does he come with a leisure suit though?

        • sw19bender

          Ooh flashback!

        • h4rr4r

          All the up fists!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Don’t tell anyone you’re commenting, as our overlords think we can’t do it because it’s not allowed. (shhhhh)

    • Sister the Resister

      Welcome to the snark, as it were!
      And hey, I’m glad you donated, but plenty of people comment who aren’t donators – sorry it took you so long, but have a good time with us now that you are here!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        It’s kinda a commune-ity here…

        • CindyinEncinitas

          But is it subscription only now? Where will we get the trolls to feed Callyson?

      • sw19bender

        I’m glad I don’t need to pay per post/jpg :/

    • janecita

      One of us, one of us!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      What happened to OldLarry?

      You didn’t disappear him, did you?

      • janecita

        He is in Guantanamo now.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Don’t worry, I have it on good authority Daisy pulls her punches with the initiate spanking. :-)

      • NewLarry

        Only her punches?

        • Blacktop Autumn

          >.>

          Maybe.

      • janecita

        Where is our Daisy? I haven’t seen her around in a while.

        • Jennifer R

          Hope she is spending some quality time with the boy.

          • janecita

            The allergic to pants boy? I hope so too.

          • sw19bender

            I just want them to kiss and get on with it.

            No tongues tho – and obvs not interested in the rest of the stuff: just getting them to the final scene in the romcom will suit me just great!

          • Jennifer R

            Someone should tell her that when she finally kisses him, she needs to shuffle her feet on the carpet first. That way she gives him a zap when they kiss and he knows it’s forever.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          She was here yesterday.

      • Jennifer R

        Mmm spanking, I think I missed mine, is it too late?

        • Blacktop Autumn

          Line up, bebe.

          • Jennifer R

            Yes Ma’am

      • Yr. Gma

        Where is Daisy anyway? I haven’t seen her for a couple of days. Is she doing something silly like studying? (I know she’s not doing you-know-what with you-know-who.)

    • Chadwells

      Welcome! I went through my jump in last week. It wasn’t so bad and my wounds have healed up nicely!!!

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Welcome! And just don’t be a jerk. Which you don’t seem to be, so that shouldn’t be much of a stretch.

    • jowgajen

      We also accept quality snark in lieu of payment.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn