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Tell us whut up, CNN:

(CNN)The two judges who have been considered the top finalists to be President Donald Trump’s nominee for the Supreme Court — Neil Gorsuch and Thomas Hardiman — are being brought to Washington ahead of tonight’s White House announcement, sources tell CNN.

So Donald Trump is LITERALLY HAVING A BACHELOR/ROCK OF LOVE ROSE CEREMONY. That is great, and classy, and we love it very much and are not throwing up all over the passenger seat of this rental car.

The move comes as there were increasing indications that Gorsuch will be Trump’s choice, sources briefed on the White House deliberations tell CNN.

One source said that Gorsuch was told it was likely him. Those close to the process warn that until it is announced, Trump could change his mind.

Our president is a hyperactive child tyrant. Sort of like a mix of this:

and this:

Daisy from Rock of Love. Don’t act like you didn’t know that already.

I’ve watched his show, it was stupid and lame, and I wouldn’t doubt he still hasn’t made up his mind, or thinks he has but is a fickle dick. Perhaps he is going to go on a two-on-one date with his finalists in order to decide which one to eliminate? Or perhaps they will have to don bikinis and compete in an American Gladiator-style joust for his heart? Or maybe just have a good old fashioned phone sex competition? Last time that happened, we got Mike Pence.

Oh, and hey, in case you were worried that things weren’t Idiocracy/Bret Michaels/just plain FUCKING VULGAR enough yet,

Another one of the sources, familiar with the White House plans, said the administration is taking extraordinary measures to build suspense and keep the final selection under wraps for as close to the 8 p.m. EST announcement as possible.

Yeah, we know:

WILL WE??? WILL WE ‘NOT WANT TO MISS IT, EXCLAMATION POINT!’? No, not really, in fact we’d really rather miss it quite a lot! But we’ll make you a deal — the BEST, YOOGEST DEAL, ALL THE NEGOTIATIONS — if all y’all will cover us like a common sexcort with ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS before 8 p.m. Eastern, we’ll liveblog this horrifying, humiliating, national embarrassment of a monstrosity. (Mama’s got a new RV engine on her credit card!) Otherwise, fuck you, we’re watching House Hunters, and you can Open Thread all on your own.

$
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  • CindyinEncinitas

    Is he going to throw them both in THE THUNDERDOME???????

    • Sandy Beaches

      Jello rasslin’ in a baby pool. What? It’s just as sophisticated and reasonable as anything else he’s done so far.

    • pb_&_sauerkraut

      That’s his idea of extreme vetting.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Totally misread that as SCROTUS…I move to make it part of the Wonkette style guide.

  • o’look Skwerl!

    I’m so hoping he chooses the masked candidate that swings in at the last minute: Merrick Garland.

  • Spurning Beer

    The @roguePOTUSstaff twittering says it’s going to be Gorsuch nominated.

    • Yr. Gma

      I’m not so sure about that site… It’s fun, yes, but is that all?

      • Spurning Beer

        There’s no verification it’s for real, but it has the ring of truth to it, I think. I’m inclined to believe it.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Bringing both to washington, eh? I direct your attention to the quote I can’t find at the moment, where he said, he made up his mind, but he might change his mind at the very last minute.

  • Sandy Beaches

    eeny, meeny, miney, moe…catch an asshole by the toe…If he hollars, let him go.. eeny, meeny, miney, moe…my.. mother.. told.. me.. to.. choose.. the.. very.. best.. one..

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Don’t miss the exciting next episode of Supreme Court Justice. Tonight on Fox.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Jude Law for SCOUTS, it is.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    That’s not how this is supposed to work. THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Already called my senators and urged them to block whichever one he picks. If eight was enough for Obama, it’s more than enough for Donald FFS!

  • beingreleased

    I may not care for his policies, but what a flair for showmanship!!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Like a carnival barker.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Gah! Now the SCOTUS is a reality show. It is like a plague.

  • memzilla Ω

    Do not compare Twitler to King Joffrey, who, as any GoT fan can tell you, is actually the son of Jaime Lannister — whose family motto is “A Lannister always pays his debts.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f70d17ac36cbf3ea1fc3480878d0c5bc70ec70b99ccc36b4d226defa1f8389e.jpg

    • theblackdog

      Every time I see this all I can think is “Gurrrrrrrrrl those shoes!”

      • Bill D. Burger

        lmao….And I always think: “Clutch the pearls!”

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Trump running down Germany and accusing them of manipulating the Euro.

    #MessagesFromVlad.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Sorry, I have a previous engagement. That grime in the bathtub ain’t gonna clean itself…

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      My evening workout is looking very appealing right now.

  • dslindc

    I think he should bring out his two top picks and have them do an Iron Chef battle.

    The secret ingredient is . . . .

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Fetus?

    • Fetal stem cells.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      interpretations of the 2nd amendment!

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Crunchy!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Trump Steaks.

    • MynameisBlarney

      C4?

    • SnarkON

      The smoldering ashes of democracy?

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Makes a great steak rub!

    • Suttree

      Hooker pee!

      • Vecchioivan

        Sorry, not a secret.

    • Spurning Beer

      Racism!

    • memzilla Ω

      A cooooolwater sandwich on a Sunday-go-ta-meetin’ bun?

      • Serai 1

        BOW BOW BOW

        • Sandy Beaches

          I want candy!

    • Serai 1

      Arsenic!

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Old lace.

    • Creepoman

      Tic Tacs?

    • Polar bear liver?

    • Edith Prickly

      TACO BOWL SHOWDOWN!!

    • guppy06

      “Taco” “salad.”

    • laughingnome

      That thing on Trump’s head

    • calliecallie

      Applesauce.

      • dslindc

        Bonus points for making a dessert with Argle Bargle!

    • pb_&_sauerkraut

      Canned clams.

      • dslindc

        YOU MONSTER!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I am proud to say that I didn’t have the slightest fucking idea who Daisy was/is. #old

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Same here. I won’t try to be above it all and say I never watch trash TV, but there are limits FFS.

    • Crank Tango

      But you remember all the girls from Flavor of Love at least, right?

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Yes, of course. There was Scary Spice, Posh, Sleepy, Goofy, Dumbledore, and that other one.

        • Crank Tango

          NY

  • Crank Tango

    I always hated Daisy, do I get anything for that?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The name game
    Gorsuch!
    Gorsuch, Gorsuch, bo-borsuch,
    Banana-fana fo-forsuch
    Fee-fy-mo-morsuch
    Gorsuch!

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    But we already know it’s GoreSuck, right?

    My bad, Gorsuch.

  • Michael Smith

    I think they should roll tape of both of them taking him out for a day date, while Bannon watches from a monitor and offers bitter criticism (like Parental Control) on MTV, and when Trump comes back, he reveals he’s actually going to nominate Bannon.

    • SnarkON

      This sounds a little like What Not to Wear, when Stacy and Clinton would watch footage of their makeover candidate try to shop, rolling their eyes at her horrible taste.

  • Suttree

    So basically Turnip is fishing for people to friend him on facefuck. Klassy!

  • Bread* and circuses!

    *Bread not included.

    • Vecchioivan

      BYOB

    • guppy06

      Is Trump going to bring back Hostess for Wonder Bread?

    • * may be an entry fee to the circus

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Who will get the rose?!? OMG! So excited!!

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    I would like to point out that “The Bachelor” has better security and non-disclosure stuff happening, because hours ago the leaks were for Gorsuch.

    Unless tiny hands reverses himself now that the cat is out of the bag.

    Maybe he should flip a coin?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      I would like to serve that fat, greasy shiteater a hot, steaming cup of shut the fuck up, followed by a 25 year sentence in federal prison.

      • SnarkON

        With votes!

    • chortlingdingo

      What a piece of shit.

    • Crank Tango
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Does…does he think the justices serve each other coffee? Like the newest justice is the office temp/peon that makes coffee runs?

      Is SCROTUS the Devil Wears Prada?? Is RBG Meryl Streep?!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Actually, yes. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/06/26/11-wacky-supreme-court-facts-frozen-yogurt-justice-scalia-and-ginsburg-friendship-more.html

        11. The most recent appointee to the court is in charge of taking notes, answering phones, opening the door, and pouring coffee for his or her colleagues. Toward the end of Justice Stephen Breyer’s ten-year run as coffee server, he asked Scalia, “I’ve gotten pretty good at this, haven’t I?” Scalia replied, “No, you haven’t.” Yikes. Hopefully Kagan’s pouring skills are better than Breyer’s.

        • guppy06

          Forget the CIA assassin pillow, my new theory is slow-acting poison in his coffee after that one catty bit.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          Holy shit…okay then. Nice find!

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            The whole list is pretty interesting. Just interesting facts about the Supreme Court.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            no, it’s cool for a law nerd. Thanks.

    • Spurning Beer

      That Bannon fella is as funny as he is good lookin’.

  • mPEEg
  • MynameisBlarney
  • Serai 1

    Wouldn’t it be great if that kitty app could replace Trump in videos too? So instead of his bloviating assface, we’d get a little calico standing at the microphone waving his little paws?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    For some reason I am imagining the boardroom scene from Scrooged.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    There’s no need to live bloog it. It’s going to be a bad person. That’s all you need to know right now.

    • puredog

      How can you possibly know that?

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Because… Trump?

  • Martini Ambassador

    I’ve already added the White House to my spam filter list. Stop sending me emails, you collection of tiny orange dick suckers.

  • WomanInTheResistance

    I still find it unsettling that I got an email from the White House. Very unsettling.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Take your computer out back and give it the “Old Yeller”. Trust me, it’s better that way.

    • Crank Tango

      Did you sign up for the enemies list a petition?

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Maybe a few times.

        • cmd resistor

          I remember once many years ago before the Internet I sent a letter to Ronald Reagan questioning some involvement in Central America. I had never written to the prez before. I remember putting it in the mail slot thinking, this will be how my FBI file gets open. I’m almost afraid to go on that site, with all those cyber experts like Rudy up there.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Check for white powder!

    • snark-lurker

      wut did you do?

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Nothing Bad! Honest! It’s creepy as hell.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          can you share the text? What’s it say?

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I’ll try

            At 8pm EST, we will be going LIVE on Facebook for President Trump to introduce his nominee for Supreme Court Justice.

            You won’t want to miss it!

            Like @POTUS on Facebook and be sure to share with friends and family.

            Tune In

          • Burn your computer now

          • WomanInTheResistance

            It’s only a sweet little tablet. And how the fuck did I get on this mailing list?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Lucky bastard.

    • Suttree

      Put a piece of tape over your camera. shhhhhhh.

  • chortlingdingo

    I will not be watching because I’ll be roller skating like a champ.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    So in true Bachelor tradition, I guess we can presume that Hardiman put out, so Trump’s going for the novelty of Gorsuch?

    I think I just made myself nauseous.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      *hands out air sickness bags*

    • laughingnome

      Hardiman will have to go into porn now with that name

      • guppy06

        “That could have been me…”
        –Clarence Thomas

  • ken_kukec

    Of course Trump will select Gorsuch. He has degrees from Columbia, Harvard, and Oxford, and clerked for Justices White and Kennedy.

    Trump thinks it’s totally classy when you can go into a fancy education dumb, and then come out dumb, too.

    • cmd resistor

      Which one is friends with his sister?

  • Making the selection of a SCOTUS nominee a TV show …

    What next? Hunger Games?

    • Edith Prickly

      Fuck, don’t give him any ideas!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      IKR? Spectacular bullshit from a howling assclown.

  • boyblue123

    Cheapen the democratic process to promote a crappy FaceBook channel

  • SnarkON

    Oh, sure, why not? Let’s go all out. Melania and Ivanka, in bikinis and heels, deliver a big envelope to each of the two potential nominees. One envelope has a golden ticket inside. While suspenseful music plays, the nominees rip open the envelopes to find — golden tickets in each envelope! A record-scratch sound-effect punctuates the two nominees regarding each other, goggle-eyed with shock. “Which is the nominee?” they ask themselves–and we in the audience do, too! Then the shock-and-awe finale: Neither is the nominee!! Instead, they must both stand in front of a firing squad! As brains splatter, Melania and Ivanka break out into a dance number set to a Ted Nugent song. It’s live TV at its FINEST!!!

    • cmd resistor

      Anyone seen Melania since last weekend?

      • SnarkON

        She’s rehearsing!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • memzilla Ω

    Sorry, can’t watch, I’ll be busy knitting a warm scarf for Paul Ryan made out of navel lint and toe jam.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Don’t forget the anthrax when you give it to him!

      (*with votes, of course.)

  • Wild Cat

    I heard the neo-nazi dropped the Federalist Society’s candidates for the Mutual Wingnut-Rimming Legalist Childbanger LLC Agency’s best legal scholars.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    That’d better be House Hunters International. The other one is rather pedestrian.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: This just dropped at Wh.Gov, can anybody see an alternative interpretation or two of this?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2b09c5490ebe23a0f126c0198add270f8cf555893749090c941c88a86de5b4df.png

    • o’look Skwerl!

      My dealer does need to expand.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      This is comforting in RE: Drug Companies:
      “So you have to get your companies back here. We have to make progress back. We’re going to get rid of a tremendous number of regulations.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Oh great. So it’ll be cheaper, but it might kill ya!

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          all that profit is going to go poof when the class action lawsuits are over.
          Sigh..

          • mancityRed6

            the new disclaimers on every package will say something about purchasing this product entering you into an agreement not to sue.

        • o’look Skwerl!

          Not with the active ingredient in every drug being high fructose corn syrup!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            *assumes it’s not corn syrup tainted with lead from China.

          • Shan

            I should not be laughing at that.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        More scary news, who needs long term studies?

        “We’re going to streamline the FDA, we have a fantastic person that I think I we’ll be naming fairly soon, he’s going to streamline the FDA and you’re going to get your products either approved or not approved but it’s going to be a quick process. It’s not going to take 15 years.”

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Link please. I can fight this one.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          The FDA is almost useless on food, you want to make them almost useless on drugs too? I want to liiiive.

      • georgiaburning

        So we’ll still be going to Canada or Mexico to buy prescriptions, but for a different reason

      • Suttree

        I’m sure that Pfizer will magically return from Ireland too.

    • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

      Pharma Bro Shkreli for FDA Chief!

      • Historicat

        Ugh – you’re probably right. Unless he’s too arrogant to suck up to Donnie during the interview.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      He’s getting rid of those pesky regulations. Yeaaaaahhaaaaa!

    • Crank Tango

      Dime bags for a dime!

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Thalidomide.

  • o’look Skwerl!

    Is this the pee hooker episode? I’ve been waiting for that one.

  • guppy06

    After what happened last night I’d say Madam Editrix is entitled to a break.

  • guppy06

    Spoiler: it goes to whichever one most enthusiastically defends the Muslim ban.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      RumInt: Trump actually suggested reaching out to them to find out if they would support his ban.

      Pence allegedly convinced him that could be a bad idea that backfires considering his admin leaks like crazy.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Would it matter, though? I mean, Thomas and Scalia did the rubber chicken circuit blasting the ACA and still heard the case.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          They weren’t facing confirmation hearings with at least 20 Republicans opposed to that ban.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          They weren’t facing confirmation hearings with at least 20 Republicans opposed to that ban.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Fair point.

      • Crank Tango

        It does everything else like crazy too.

      • guppy06

        I’ll bet you a crisp new picture of President Hamilton that Trump himself (or someone that coincidentally sounds just like him on the telephone) is the source of most White House leaks.

        • theblackdog

          Makes me wonder if he’s running the RoguePOTUS account.

          • Historicat

            Doubtful, there’s actual sentence structure to that account.

    • cmd resistor

      They could do like a moot court competition/argument thing.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      He just accused “Germany” of manipulating the Euro (that’s not how this works). Something right out of Putin’s talking points.

      So now EU/Trump Admin at cross purposes. Putin all smiles.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      holy shit! maybe he can get us out of NATO and UN without even really trying.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        What makes you say he isn’t trying?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Well, he just checked in with his boss, so he’s just executing his marching orders.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Mebbe we could get NATO to occupy DC? You know, until democratic elections are held?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I thought the press was his opposition.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      To the EU, he IS Russia, thus the same threat category. I think North America is shielded from the full import of the Trump Putin partnership but these guys are on the front line.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        We always were willing to fight Russia to the last European

    • Boscoe

      To the world, we’ve just joined the axis of evil.

      Next step is for other nations to join together into a coalition to oppose us. Then they’ll come liberate us from our totalitarian regime. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b658e312bfcf25e903f9dc26a8f486b29f096bdceba23e0a57d95aea3baf40de.jpg

      • MynameisBlarney

        Join, hell! We didn’t join. They showed up, took over the stereo, drank our beer and then got all butthurt when we got mad and told them to GTFO.

  • jowgajen
  • Mr. Blobfish

    What’s gonna get higher ratings? T-Wolves at Cavs or Real Housewives of Atlanta?

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    What is “Rock of Love”?

    • Suttree

      Some 90’s rock and roll guy picking between a bunch of nasty women to date. Not the good kind of nasty either.

      • Crank Tango

        I dunno, he fucked a few of them.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The scar tissue on your genitals from innumerable STDs?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      A thing that would send cold chills down your spine, and wake you in the middle of the night. No, it is better that you do not know.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Those close to the process warn that until it is announced, Trump could change his mind.

    There’s still time to bribe the Cheetostained Shitgibbon if you really want the job.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      He said it himself last week, I really need to find that quote.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Busey. It was always Busey.

      • laughingnome

        I thought it was Fredo.

        • Oblios_Cap

          That was before momma died.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Until the words actually leave his mouth, bet the entire White House staff will be holding onto 2 versions of the press release. They should know that much by now.

  • Ilgattomorte

    He’s going to make these two poor bastards sell lemonade in Times Square, isn’t he?

  • Bill D. Burger

    If he were really smart, The Yellow Menace would bring both contestants (*’contestants’ is better than ‘candidates’ cause he doesn’t give a shit about their qualifications.) out. They would stand behind him while he rambled on about his pick, the huge crowds at his inauguration, the 5 mil. phantom voters, his hotels……etc. blah, blah, blah….and then, with a drum roll, he’d turn around and look at one and say, “You’re Fired!”

    Ratings bonanza! Trending on all social media. A trip down memory lane.

    Epic!

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      I’ll bet he does most of that.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Don’t forget the commercial break. Grifters gotta grift.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        SCOTUS Nomination Ceremony ’17…brought to you by the fine people at Trump Steaks, Breitbart.com and Puppy Chow…the chow puppies love!

  • Hellhathnofury Demme

    Sorry, I’m washing my hair tonight.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yeah, I’m gonna be busy too…
      I got a red-hot poker that I need to shove in my eye.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’m brushing my cat’s teeth!

        • cmd resistor

          I’ve been putting off doing that, good idea.

        • OneYieldRegular

          I’m expressing my dog’s anal glands – and I don’t even have a dog!

          • C4TWOMAN

            That takes talent! You’re probably over-qualified to join this administration!

          • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

            You’ll get the same result either way.

    • Randy Riddle

      Sending my deepest regrets. I have so many molotov cocktails to assemble and so little time…

    • proudgrampa
  • Treg Brown

    “Those close to the process warn that until it is announced, Trump could change his mind.”

    It brings no comfort knowing how capricious and beguiling Donald is. His decisions seem like a crap shoot of feelings.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Will there be a swimsuit competition? Do both have to sing? Does Simon Cowell have the last word?

    • Shan

      Does Donnie still get to barge into the dressing room while they’re changing?

      • Boscoe

        As long as there are no stairs, yes.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’m partial to an Amazing Race “eat mass quantities of gross food” challenge, followed by a “take this bungee jump off the top of the Supreme Court.”

      • OneYieldRegular

        “Contestants will now make their way to the Oval Office, where they will have to choose between shining the President’s shoes with their tongue or rubbing down his naked body with tanning lotion.”

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Road block! Detour to Bannon’s office and steal all alcohol in the room. Choose carefully which of you performs this task.

  • Randy Riddle

    Why has POTUS stoled all the exclamation points?!?

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’ve hoarded some:

      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Take as many as you need.

    • Boscoe

      because in comparison, they make his weenus seem YUUUUGE?

  • Boscoe

    The only “suspense” he’s building is who he’s going to blame when nobody bothers to tune in.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • OneYieldRegular

    I still just don’t understand why anyone would let him or herself be used in this way. If you’re good enough to serve on the Supreme Court, you should certainly be good enough to just say “No!” to participating in this charade.

    • Suttree

      When Turnip says dance monkey! You dance!

      • C4TWOMAN

        You’re the monkey! Not me! You!

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah but they’re not good enough to serve…oh I see what you did there.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      One of the keys to Trump’s heart is the extent to which one is willing to be degraded and humiliated to get a treat. See also: Christie, Chris.

  • The Wanderer

    There’s a choice of a hockey match or Ridiculousness on at that time. I may just masturbate, read a bit, and go to bed.

    • calliecallie

      I have Brunch with Bobby Flay dvr’d from the weekend. Or Peaky Blinders on Netflix. I will not be watching this bit of Trump ridiculousness

  • Anna Rompage

    Hopefully Uday gives him a little bump this evening as I was under the impression that the Cheeto Hued Grandpa is usually half out of his mind while curled up with a Pepe the Frog scratch & sniff that smells like Kellyannes taint, between the time of 7:45pm-3am…

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Too vivid, that…

  • cheetojeebus

    I’m not really looking forward to the water sports segment of the contest.

  • ServantToTheStars

    Do they have to lick his SCROTUS before one is chosen?

  • msanthropesmr

    What the fuck k is wrong with this country?

    • C4TWOMAN

      How much time do you have?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Wondered the same thing on Bart this morning. Came up with “America is an amazing country despite its best efforts”

      • msanthropesmr

        OK. I’ll buy that.

    • The Wanderer

      I suffered through a “leadership seminar” last October, with Lt. General Russell Honore as the speaker. The title of the seminar was “Leadership in the New Normal,” and the general believed that resources, notably water, would be the problem spot going forward.

      Like many of us, I think this shit caught him flatfooted.

    • Clyde Barrow

      In short, it’s full of hicks that’ll believe just about anything told to them that matches their stunted world views.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      American society and governance have been subverted and coopted by the moneyed interests. It really is as simple as that.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      It started when you allowed the forward pass and you just never recovered from that.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        :You misspelled Designated Hitter Rule. Now please get off my lawn.

        • Lefty Frizzell

          A way to make Rounders worse? Unbelievable!

        • puredog

          Now it’s the Designated Hitler Rule.

      • msanthropesmr

        Don’t forget the dh rule.

      • proudgrampa

        It really got rolling when they went to 3-on-3 hockey overtime.

  • TimJ

    Its just like “Let’s Make a Deal” but there are goats behind ALL the doors!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Goatze Goat Libelz!

    • WomanInTheResistance

      I like goats.

      • Painter of Goats

        Yeah, me too.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        How you feeling? Better I hope.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Still have a major case of the crud. But staggering through, thanks.

    • proudgrampa

      Baby goats? I like baby goats.

    • Painter of Goats

      Oops, you left out “fuckers”.

    • The Wanderer
      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        happy goats!
        I needed this.

  • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

    I really can’t watch with you guys. I ran out of Xanax last night and my state of mind is extremely fragile at the moment. I’ve put all the sharp objects in a locked closet and I gave my shoelaces and belts away. At this point all precautions have to be taken.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Weed is awesome.

      • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

        I’m already paranoid. Can you imagine me smoking a joint and that turning out well?

        • Clyde Barrow

          So I guess a shroom trip is out of the question then….

          • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

            Florida cow pastures….Psilocybin tea…..what a long strange trip it’s been….***sighs****fond memories……

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i have anxiety, weed can make me nutty, depending on the strain.

          Try your relaxation exercises, rain sounds, and a nice soothing bath or shower.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmrzfDDFM0Y

          • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

            Thanks so much. I will do all the above. I’m also a yooog ASMR junkie.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Jennifer R recommended that too – she finds it soothing. I find it…not. But whatever works!
            Feel better!

          • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

            I’m fine… as fine as one can be with the current situation being what it is. I’m simply tired and weary. I need to seriously recharge so I can keep up the good fight we’re in. And it’s looking to be a long ass fight.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah exhaustion/hunger makes mine worse.

          • Serai 1

            Ocean waves always do it for me.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c2k-mKSABc

          • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

            This is a wonderfully soothing video. You’re awesome.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            recommended to me by our own Jennifer R. There are several for your level of anxiety. Jennifer first recommended one that was a little too thunder-y for me, but I scrolled around and found that soother.

            I actually woke up in the middle of the night last night cause i guess it switched to a different one that was very stormy, it was making me nervous.

        • puredog

          MDMA.

          • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

            I use to love LOVE the stuff….way back when I was young and crazy.

          • Serai 1

            MDMA is sublime when taken in the right context. Anyone who takes it to go to a concert or any other loud frenetic place is a fucking idiot.

          • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

            Floating on a sailboat. THAT was sublime.

          • Serai 1

            Taking a bath by candlelight. Sitiing in front of a fireplace. Dancing in the moonlight in the garden. Walking on the beach at night. I think the most amazing thing I’ve done while dosing was drumming for a group of gorgeous belly dancers. THAT was a religious experience.

          • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

            Gorgeous belly dancers. You found Nirvana.

          • Paul

            As opposed to old and crazy? Oh yes I just did!!!!!!!!!!11!!

        • Paul

          I’ll talk you down Toots.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I’m allergic to weed. Any other suggestions?

        • Clyde Barrow

          Wow, that sucks. I guess you’re relegated to booze or angel dust. I don’t recommend the later.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Yeah, me either. And booze isn’t doing the job.

            EDIT: I’m the guy who is allergic to popcorn and can’t even eat a bowl of CornChex without breaking out in golf-ball sized hives, so I may be limited to reality.

        • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

          Windowpane or orange barrel would be an alternative.

          • Paul

            Careful with that better living through chemistry advice …start em off on the easier stuff before going to the 100 proof shit.

      • Serai 1

        True. And I will be smoking some while I watch Galaxy Quest. Because I sure as shit won’t be watching that fucker up there.

  • proudgrampa

    Vanna White to turn the letters or GTFO.

  • Painter of Goats

    Maybe it’s just me but I’m more worried about what Bannon will be enacting while everyone is distracted by President Circus Clown.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I’m taking my talents to First Street.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • The Wanderer

      I smirked a lot at this news.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Experience …the best teacher? rotfl

    • mancityRed6

      what’s the magic word kids?
      PROJECTION!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Lock him up!

    • Cliff Hendroval

      He’s also a tax deadbeat – owes over $100K, and also has a bad habit of not paying his child support.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I had to actually do some work. Has this been discussed yet? The Statue Of Liberty poem needs to be revised

    “Keep, ancient lands, your pathetic poors!” cries she
    With silent lips. “Give me your rich, your healthy,
    Your affluent few yearning to breathe free

    http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2017/01/ok-now-were-seeing-way-theyre-planning.html

    The Trump administration is considering a plan to weed out would-be immigrants who are likely to require public assistance, as well as to deport — when possible — immigrants already living in the United States who depend on taxpayer help, according to a draft executive order obtained by The Washington Post.

    A second draft order under consideration calls for a substantial shake up in the system through which the United States administers immigrant and nonimmigrant visas overall, with the aim of tightly controlling who enters the country, and who can enter the workforce, and to reduce the social services burden on U.S. taxpayers.

    • cmd resistor

      Isn’t that kind of thing beyond the scope of an executive order? I could be wrong. It’s already part of the process that you can’t become a public charge, isn ‘t it? And sponsors of immigrants (family, generally) have to fill out a form with all your financial info and giving them the right to garnish your bank account if the person does. At least, that was something maybe 20 years ago? Of course, whether they have the authority to do it wouldn’t really be a factor in whether they try it anyway.

    • Serai 1

      Bad enough Lady Liberty’s being gang-raped. Let’s not force her to spout their violent obscenities on top of it.

  • aktlib101

    Who gives a fuck about their stupid pony show? My question is, how can Retardicans in Congress, you know, Constitution-defenders like Yertle be ok with how Bannon is running the current dictatorship, White House, Nat’l Security Council, etc?. Disturbing read below, sounds like Putin’s Russia or Kim Jong Un’s paradise.
    WhoTF elected Bannon in the Supreme position?. Fucking Fascists ! And those MAGA delusional supporters. Oops, with VOTES no violence, of course. But fuck them nevertheless
    https://foreignpolicy.com/2017/01/30/steve-bannon-is-making-sure-theres-no-white-house-paper-trail-trump-president/

    • C4TWOMAN

      You want to discuss Real Issues? What sorta freak are you?

  • moebym posted this

    I simply can’t wait!

    To not watch.

  • Mavenmaven

    Is there still a bathing suit competition for the SCOTUS position?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Close, but the undressing will be for the talent competition.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      If the talent competition involves singing “Quando m’en vo” off-key. I’m calling Gorsuch.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Sucking chrome off a Dodge, I think.

    • boyblue123

      Gucci designed judicial robes

    • Bozilingus

      If there is, you can be sure that tRump will find his way into the dressing room.

  • SullivanSt

    There is not enough scotch in the world to make me watch. Nor tequila. Nor bourbon. Nor scoquibon.

    (can’t even face a livebloog).

    Day 11, how the fuck am I going to make it through four years?

    • Anna Rompage

      Milk Thistle tincture, it helps to rejuvenate the liver….

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Tomorrow he will lie about how many people watched.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Nominees for the Supreme Court of the United States of America have now been reduced to mere game show contestants. Think Drink about that.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Tell us, Don Pardo, what does the runner up go home with? Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat?”

      • OneYieldRegular

        “Ooooh, I’m sorry! Better luck next time. But to show our appreciation, we like to offer you this…BRAND! NEW! SENIOR ROLE AT THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE!”

        • Villago Delenda Est

          “Neil Gorsuch, come on down! You’re the next contestant on Win a Seat on the Supreme Court!”

      • Cliff Hendroval

        Don’t forget the Lee Press-On Nails and a year’s supply of Centrum vitamins.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Also a mink keyring from Dicker and Dicker of Beverly Hills!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Yeah, but Joffrey was played by a non-asshole. In fact, a really nice, intelligent guy who acts very well, convincingly. Not so true for Führer und Reichskanzler Donald.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      And Bret Michaels’ stupid bandanas and ridiculous hats are a downright dignified way to cover up baldness compared to whatever Trump has going on up there.

    • dshwa

      One is a world where childish revenge fantasies take place at the behest of an egomaniacal leader of a major country, and the other is a book with dragons in it.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Sorry, new engine….phooey. I just had to put a new xmission in my Subaru. mucho dinero…..

    • theblackdog

      Wonkers needing major car repairs seems to be a trend. I just had to have the power steering pump and the rack and pinion replaced in my fiance’s car.

    • mPEEg

      #standbyyoursube

      • puredog

        The snow and freezing rain may be headed back to Portland. God I love my Sube. And I just got some of those cute little clip-on crampon thingies so I can walk the dawgs and be less fearful of a fractured hip!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You need to have your very own Donna Rose to appear in your go fund me campaign!

    • Mike Steele

      Friday: throttle position sensor $354.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Subaru quoted me $8000 for the transmission swap. I screamed bloody murder. The car is three years old, had 99000 miles. I didn’t want to buy it again. Subaru got me a courtesy discount and paid half….so…$2750….still

        • Mike Steele

          Holy crow…at that rate of mileage, even the best new car warranty isn’t going to last you very long. In another 100K, they should replace trans free, and use you as a testimonial! We both just turned 100K, as did our 2002 Sonata & Camry:)

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      heh, I liked the yahoo headline, but didn’t post it for fear of being ban https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f530071c2357f33aa4c4990f286ad832a7c64725bb478ce807a50dcd3557c5e.png hammered:

      • Serai 1

        Psst: Don’t try to type text while your picture’s loading. It’ll load right into the middle of what you wrote. Just FYI.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          doh…thanks Serai.

          • Serai 1

            ;) Had that happen SO many times.

          • Marshaewoodworth

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sr316c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !sr316c:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash866DigitalAcademyGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!sr316c:….,……..

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I stealed this. Thnx.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      This screws up that theory of evolution thing. The chimps clearly have a more effective and practical way of dealing with tyranny. With chimp votes.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        They are brutal, but wise. We have much to learn from them.

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      So if someone calls you a monkey…

  • aktlib101

    Are they allowed to show boobs on national TV tonight?

    • The Wanderer

      They’ve been showing Trump for years.

      • aktlib101

        And Putin’s

    • Bill D. Burger

      If Trump’s appearing , YES!

      A YOOOOGE’ boob.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      By my count at least 3 will be visible…

    • Serai 1

      I don’t think they’re letting cameras into the Oval Office.

  • Bozilingus

    “As obscene on TV”

    • The Wanderer

      “Children should be obscene and not heard.”

  • MynameisBlarney

    If this ain’t sobering as fuck…

    https://twitter.com/THE_47th/status/826505512791457793

    • Serai 1

      Unfortunately our government isn’t smart enough for that. I’m afraid we’re in for it.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Trump’s pick for ambassador to the EU:

    https://twitter.com/jonwalker121/status/824921025066500096

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      I don’t have speakers at work. What did he say?

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        He said, “I worked in another diplomatic post that helped bring down the Soviet Union, so maybe there’s another Union that needs a little taming”.

        • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

          European Union?

          • dshwa

            Yup

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            Congrads, you win a prize. Unfortunately, it’s tickets to the first screening of Trump’s pee video.

          • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

            And I thought the EU helped Europeans. Who knew? Meanwhile, on Instagram, it looks like Asia and Africa are developing a cozy relationship.

        • ViveLaRésistance

          Dufuque???

    • jowgajen

      Wow.

      • dshwa

        I think “Holy fuck” is the more appropriate response.

    • Serai 1

      Jesus fuck, they’re abandoning any pretense of not being fascists.

    • WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK?!?!

    • boyblue123

      The EU has already designated the Drumpf regime as a terror threat along with China and Russia.

      We are in Axis of Evil territory now

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        Hopefully they will soon come and liberate us? California will welcome them, but the Vichy states in the south will need another “march to the sea.”

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        Trevor Noah, though uneven, was 100% on target on this, months and months ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FPrJxTvgdQ

    • janecita

      Hopefully the EU will reject his credentials.

  • Daisy

    Wait, Neil Gorsuch is only 49!?

  • Bozilingus

    Who will the Joker reveal to be his Supreme Cuck Nominee? Tune in tonight! Same Bat-time, Same Bat-channel!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Holy Black Guy with White Chick, Batman!

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • SullivanSt

      Puts definitively to rest the question of “how could we know it was the Russians hacking Hillary?”, I believe.

      • SullivanSt

        Of course, does rather stir up the question of “How did the Russians find out, and does it have anything to do with those phone calls Flynn made to Moscow shortly after being briefed about why our intelligence services believe the Russians hacked Hillary?”

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          But open the question of why Sally Yates was fired.

  • janecita

    Does one of the candidates look like this? No, then I couldn’t care less. They are both right wing, terrible people that will fuck up the Supreme Court for a generation. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/921f7553a678fddd5cab1e2e255bc07a6450106f5f615bb354f3cb972cdb0900.jpg

    • WomanInTheResistance

      They’ll fuck up the country for a generation.

      • janecita

        And laugh about it will doing it.

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        It will take us decades to clean up this shit. Decades. #impeach

      • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

        The thing that comforts me is that this guy (and of course it is a WHITE guy) is replacing Scalia …. so same, same, I’m thinking?

        Hang the fuck in there RBG!

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      Would I eat a stallion’s heart for that guy? Oh, yeah, baby.

      • janecita

        I’d eat it raw;-) Lisa Bonet, is a lucky woman.

  • Doug Langley

    “And now, here are the finalists. Gosh, who will win the grand prize – tonight – on WHO WANTS TO BE A JUSTICE?”

    • Rick Hill

      In a surprising twist, the winner will be the one who promises to GIVE the most in order to be chosen.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    When can I wake up and have this all just be a vivid nightmare? I know, I’ll just run into a wall really fucking hard and I’ll wakeup to see he actually lost and sanity prevailed!

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      See there? HE SAID JU!

    • Sardonicuss

      It may be killing me. Or it could just be the months long hangover.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Serai 1

      Brilliant breakdown.

  • Jenny

    Not going to give this fuckwad the attention he craves.

  • Bozilingus

    Tonight, America will lose on Jeopardy.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvUZijEuNDQ

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The best part is Greg Kihn’s cameo at the end.

  • Sardonicuss

    I am thinking the fund raising aspect might have worked better if you said something like: Pay us money…..or …we will live blog this monstrosity.

    • Bozilingus

      And shoot this dog?

  • anwisok

    I’m conflicted. I want to give Wonkette money, but I do not want to make Wonkette livebloog this . . . this . . . abomination of an event.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Pinky, I share your feelings.

      • rebecca

        me too also.

        • SullivanSt

          So you are pondering what I’m pondering then.

    • mPEEg

      …maybe pay them NOT to liveblooger it?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    They just leaked the tapes of tonight’s rose ceremony. Ladies and gentlemen, your next SCOTUS nominee:
    http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2017/01/27/deuterostome_custom-d7fc64b8dc3d93f73ca4779c7c0787993297665b-s800-c85.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No…not Bannon!

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Trump can’t put himself on the SCOTUS!

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      Still better looking than Trump!

  • Jenny

    I once had this weird dream where I was on the Rock of Love but ended up banging some imaginary hot son of Bret Michael instead. Then I ran off to Thailand for unknown reasons to hand out mosquito nets.

    I would prefer to relive this dream because it is more exciting, and made more sense than anything Trump is involved with.

    • janecita

      Did the imaginary son wear a stupid bandana also?

      • Jenny

        Nope he looked like the average blonde dude on Martha’s Vineyard.

  • ViveLaRésistance

    That crinkly sound you just heard was the last tiny vestige of America’s dignity drying up and blowing away, like a dead rose petal from a SCOTUS nominee’sbeauty queen’s bouquet.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      A beauty queen you say? I need to find her dressing room and give her my presidential gesture to introduce myself. Beautiful. I’m a star folks, I’m a star.

      • MOG253

        Sounds so Boogie Nights.

    • Bebecca

      Nope, that ended on 11/9.

  • Jenny

    Also too I never made it through an episode of Rock of Love, but Flava Flave’s season with Punkin and Miss New York?! Now THAT was good trash tv.

  • Bebecca

    The WH further stated that the announcement would be made right after the talent portion of the contest.

    • clairence

      Mister President, what are you all doing behind that screen? Is this the talent portion? Why can’t we see?

    • zerosumgame0005

      peeing accuracy is the talent?

    • janecita

      Are they going to show blow jobs live on Facebook?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Just as long as they don’t show the swimsuit competition. SOMEBODY, please think of the children…

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      What, no bathing suits?

  • Bebecca

    or will it go to the highest bidder?

    • MOG253

      Or does he want to punish someone like with Christie?

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      That’s obvious. Yes.

  • …fucking tune in?
    What the ever loving hell

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Creepy email sent to me –

      Tonight at 8pm EST, we will be going LIVE on Facebook for President Trump to introduce his nominee for Supreme Court Justice.

      You won’t want to miss it!

      Like @POTUS on Facebook and be sure to share with friends and family.

      Tune In

      • rebecca

        same email’s in hte post :)

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Yes. But I am a mild-mannered purveyor of cheese. Wtf? How did I get on this mailing list?

          • rebecca

            cheesemonger cheesemonger mong me a cheese!

      • cmd resistor

        I will not like that asshole on FB for sure. Then I’d be tempted to comment on his stupid posts and then I’d get banned, having wasted tons of time meanwhile.

      • Marceline

        I’m seeing a lot of people say they got the same email. I haven’t. I’m wondering how they got people’s emails.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I signed petitions. I’ve certainly never supported the shitgibbon.

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      “Tune in” is pretty fucking archaic, now that you mention it.

  • mPEEg

    Only if it turns out to be a better love story than Twilight will I be sorry I didnt’ tune in~

    • I think they are somehow trying to get pop opinion in ahead of the Dem block on the nominee?
      It is the only reason I can think of for this stunt.
      Oh, and obligatory…..
      “Can you imagine the howls of rage from the right if Obama threw a TV spectacular to nominate someone?”

  • ez

    Tank those ratings, watch a Documentary instead.

  • Doug Langley

    It’s Must-See TV!!

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      It’s Must-Not-See TV!

      FTFY

  • MOG253

    Nope, not watching. He loves an audience let the Trumpkins eat their Ho-Hos and wave their red hats.

  • clairence

    How’s that saying go… “If all you have is a reality tv producer, everything looks like a reality tv show”?

    • natoslug

      “If all you are is a complete dick, you’re going to fuck everything up”? Which, given Trump’s impressively diminutive tackle, is impressive.

    • Crank Tango

      I’d rather be a hammer than a nail. Yes I would.

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
    • Nasty Candy Apple

      Let’s hope those are bunker-busting laser beams.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    I am picking lint out of my hairy belly button at 8 pm EST. Gonna miss it.

  • Crystalclear12

    Worst part is he thinks he’s being clever.

    • clairence

      Let’s keep an eye on what the adults in the WH are up to while Trump plays reality star on the teevee.

  • ibwilliamsi

    I’m LGBTQA Chorus rehearsing at 8 PM. I’m going to have to miss it – thank God.

    • SullivanSt

      I have a firm booking for “breathing”. No can do!

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Can’t wait for the tantrum when the ratings for this stunt suck… maybe Obama should do some alternate programming like a surprise interview with Oprah just for shits and giggles

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Is this going to be on TV, facebook, or Youtube?
      (I’ve heard them all.)

  • Marceline

    I hate how this tangerine ballbag turns everything into a reality show.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Personally, I’m just not invested enough in the contestants that made it to the finale.

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    I’m not watching this shit. I’m not giving them any square footage in my head. I’ll read Wonkette and I’ll look at the headlines, but fuck if I will listen to this bullshit for one second.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      I can’t. I need to be able to digest food.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Yeah, whoever it is, we’ll have many, many years to come of having to put up with him.

  • AntrimCycle

    He only wants them there so he can pick the one who looks most like a Supreme Court judge.

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    How long before these televised monuments to his ego turn into full-blown Hunger Games? He’s already got the hair.

  • Aaron Wise

    Let’s hope that Wally Ballou is there to get some real reporting done.

    • Unhappy Fingers

      Sigh, no. Thursday 2 February will be the first anniversary of Bob Elliott’s death.

  • Painter of Goats

    How exciting. The Super Bowl of SCOTUS nominees. Will there be a trophy and confetti?

    • Marion in Savannah

      I’m thinking more a shower of rose petals, and petulant tears and recriminations.

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      And a half time show? And Budweiser commercials, the one with the puppez, plz.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Confetti but no glitter. Glitter triggers the Clark fascist types.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • ViveLaRésistance

      Like with defeating ISIS, he’s asking for ideas to improve cyber security to be submitted to him in a few weeks. I thought his kid already knew more about cyber security than the experts? Another campaign promise broken. We have no choice but to impeach.

    • boyblue123

      Right after Rudy Giuliani figures out how to plug a mouse in, he’ll get right on enforcing all that ‘cyber’ mumbo-jumbo

  • Bitter Scribe

    I think anyone who said during the election that mentioning SCOTUS appointments as a reason to vote for Hillary Clinton was “extortion” should be forced to watch. Clockwork-Orange style.

  • sw19bender

    Fuck That Noise.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Jamoche

      OK, wtf is “cyber EO”? I had errands to run (I may be getting a new cat!), I haven’t been keeping up with the firehose.

      Oh, should’ve scrolled down a page :)

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        A new cat?
        How exciting!

        • Jamoche

          FOAF has a rescue cat, but one of her original cats doesn’t like it. So the newcomer needs another new home. I have one cat who has gotten along with other cats in the past so we’ll see how they get along.

          • Hellhathnofury Demme

            I hope it works out!

    • clairence

      Wouldn’t they have known that before he went out?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Ego needs those ratings.

  • Nodrama4mama

    Is it asking too much for every news station (I don’t count FoxNews) to just ignore it, and maybe run it as a ticker.
    Then everyone go, “Whatevs, its going to get filibustered, lets go back to the originally scheduled craziness”

    • yyyaz

      Would be a good way to rile up Ma and Pa Goober and their spawn. Which would be interesting if only to see how many roll off their couches to actually do something.

    • Jamoche

      One of Olbermann’s rants says live feeds play into his ego and the normalization, so instead they ought to hold it until they can run fact checks on it. I think VH1’s Pop-Up Video would be a good model for that.

      • clairence

        that would be awesome. and informative. and billed as “fake news” by his followers.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    I haven’t poked around in my computer in years. i forgot it does quasi-fun things.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2d35d5cdc73ff9b77474afcb5188a106f19c8d054032e7cc119b39c550466049.jpg

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Needs some work. Hmm.

  • Mike Steele

    SCOTUS? Meh…waiting to see who wins job as Bannon’s stylist. Competition will be fierce.

  • Maree Martin

    I think Trump is more like Joffrey from Game of Thrones, if Trump had Joffrey’s calmness and reasoning ability.

    • Pisto75666

      And Joffrey’s tantrums were at least entertaining.

  • Today, to make his final decision, “45” had each potential nominee pee on him.

  • Since “45” is doing this like the Bachelor, should we assume that they will break up in two months once they figure out how much they hate each other when they are no longer fucking each other on camera to have their 15 minutes of fame?

    • Historicat

      Eventually someone is going to cross Donnie and he’ll have an epic meltdown that he can’t “you’re fired” them.

      (Pence or Supreme Court are my guesses)

    • eggsacklywright

      Or do it like Mad Men. Show the first half, then wait 9 months to show the second half.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Well, since he’s working so hard to build suspense I’m going to watch something on Netflix at 8. There’s plenty of time for more bad news tomorrow morning. I’m going to try to get a decent night’s sleep tonight — they’re getting pretty goddam hard to come by this past few weeks.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      They have V for Vendetta. That’s good.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Both Mr. MiS and I watched that recently. I might just rewatch Game of Thrones. (Mr. MiS didn’t watch it before, but I’ve gotten him sucked into it.)

        • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

          Well done, Marion! Was it the titties? Whatever it takes, he’ll be a better person for having watched it.

          • Marion in Savannah

            After watching Season 1 his first comment was that it was reminiscent of the War of the Roses. He made a passing comment that there seemed to be a lot of tits, but I pointed out to him that when you’re in a brothel you rather expect to see them.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Love that movie!

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      We just watched “Beware Mr. Baker”. Holy crap! Even if you’re not a fan of Cream, it’s a good documentary.

  • Mr Ephemeris

    If he’s going to have his paid applause section, I’m not tuning in. Actually I won’t anyway.

  • ViveLaRésistance
  • How many Whore Diamonds does Gorsuch rate?

  • Marion in Savannah

    Charlie Pierce has some thoughts on what the Democrats should and shouldn’t do:

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a52731/democrats-trump-scotus-pick-strategy/

    • Shoto

      Go Charlie.

    • Tiny kaiju

      I really like and respect Charlie Pierce but I completely disagree with this. What is the point of holding onto the filibuster power if you don’t use it to keep a dangerous god- botherer out of the Supreme Court. Go along to get along hasn’t worked for the last 8 years, why the fuck would it work now? And the gems of humanity it would put in places of power are too awful to think about. If the Dems are going to lose the filibuster anyway, might as well go big and throw a stonewall back in the GOPs face. Everyone expects the Dems to cave, that one reason people are disgusted with them. I should really go put this in the comments on Esquire but that means Facebook which eats Esquire comments.Also fuck Facebook on principle.

      • Marion in Savannah

        I’m torn about whether or not to filibuster the bastard. But I agree about Esquire’s commenting policy — they used to use Disqus, but it changed about a year ago. Their commenting folks were some of the best and brightest, which might have scared the crap out of Esquire.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I thought it might be that Mexican judge from Indiana.

  • Jack Tenhet

    Well, I’m just glad it’s on Youtube and not TV. Agents of SHIELD is tonight and me and the wife never miss it. Don’t want the Donnie show at 9 here.

    Open Thread bit: Some hope from HuffPo.

    “In 1984, the psychiatrist Otto Kernberg described a sickness known as Malignant Narcissism. Unlike ordinary narcissism, malignant narcissism was a severe pathology.

    It was characterized by an absence of conscience, a pathological grandiosity and quest for power, and a sadistic joy in cruelty.

    Given the sheer danger to the Republic as well as to the Republicans, Trump’s impeachment will happen. The only question is how grave a catastrophe America faces first.”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-inevitability-of-impeachment_us_588e8d52e4b0b065cbbcd09f?

    May be more optimistic than reality and it is only an Op-Ed, but we can’t just keep fighting with a steady diet of only doom and gloom with no possibility for some light at the end of all this.

  • Fartknocker

    So is the name of this event Fucked Dynasty and will the SCOTUS candidates have beards and wear camo?

  • JoeChristmas

    Ooh, suspense!!1!

    The Dems better filibuster this fuck into the next century.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Damn right! “Time to nut up or shut up.”

      • clairence

        unfortunately I think we should take “shut up” off the table. The stakes are too high.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Yeah, had to finish the quote though. “Zombieland”.

    • Shoto

      I was thinking more in terms of the next millennia, but I’ll compromise and take the next century.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Or at least until the current 8J court can rule on the gerrymandering case

      • Tiny kaiju

        And the Muslim ban. You know this new dickbag would rule it constitutional even though it is spelled out as a big no-no it that document they all love but don’t read.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Good point there.

  • Shoto

    Aside from the fact that Drumpf is a dim-witted orange ass-clown, and all-around malignant narcissist and sociopath, bringing both candidates to the WH, only to eliminate one of them at the last, possible moment is a Serious Dick Move.

    This is part of MAGA, right?

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    “Tune In”?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Turn on Drop out

  • Sparger

    You know that devil Obama would’ve announced his pick at 1 pm in the Rose Garden or some place like that. This is so much classier. I hope they have to do feats of strength and a MMA style match to the death. I can’t wait.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR! GIVE HIM THE FUCKING CHAIR!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        BITE HIS EAR OFF!!!

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Svetlana will do a tinkle show. But first, chips and dip made with real Lipton’s onion soup mix!

      • The Wanderer

        Ooh! That’s good stuff! Will there also be slices of Velveeta on crackers?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          What about cocktail weenies? I lurves me cocktail weenies!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Fucking shitty reality TV/beauty pageantry running the country… Fuck…

  • SayItWithOtters

    He’s so old he thinks people actually still watch TV by appointment.

    • The Wanderer

      My Mom still says that I need to ‘warm up’ the television.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        THAT’S old school!

        • The Wanderer

          Durn tootin’!

    • Jack Tenhet

      It’s like he doesn’t know DVRs exist. Or even that a huige chunk of us just stream programs these days.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      He thinks people still “tune in”.

  • Scrofula

    We all know the producers do the actual selection on these shows. Bannon is at least somewhat qualified for that, by knowing a former reality TV star.

  • Graymalkin56

    Dammit, now they’re going to preempt the “Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials 2017” — the highlight of my Super Bowl Week!

    • Jack Tenhet

      #45 thinks he’s more popular than Superbowl week? Nobody is more popular than that. No snark at all, absolute fact. Past Presidents have NEVER preempted any Superbowl programming, that I can recall, because a literal shit-ton of people would complain. Even people who don’t care how much #45 craps on the country will hate the look of his face if he screws with their football.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        The closest anyone ever got was in the middle of Operation Desert Storm. ABC did not air the Super Bowl XXV halftime show live (some affiliates aired it on tape delay), choosing instead to air a live update of war operations. But they still aired the game in full with no cutaways.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Exactly! Election’s over and a huge cross section of the country is really just sick of it all by now. It’s one thing for those of us who go looking for the news, it’s another to have stupid political posturing reality show garbage thrust on our personal down-time.

    • tehbaddr

      Super Sportsball Week? Is that a thing that’s on TV now?

      • Jack Tenhet

        Why not? Once Bannon and #45 kick out all the actors and writers, that might be the only thing left worth watching.

  • Bill D. Burger

    It appears all but certain that Trump’s pick for the SCOTUS will be Neil Gorsuch from my dear ol’ Colorado. And I ask: ‘Please don’t hold it again us.’ Long family history of Republicans: Mother was head of EPA and had to resign in the Reagan administration.
    He is a near theocrat who absolutely worshipped Scalia (though he clerked for Kennedy) and who related how he broke into tears upon hearing of Scalia’s death ~sniff! Sniff!~ and tilts toward religion in any case involving a clash with secularism. He hailed the ‘Hobby Lobby’ decision for example. He calls himself a ‘textualist & and originalist’
    Trump said the other day that “…Evangelicals and Christians (as though they are somehow wholly different) would be very glad, very happy with my decision.” Sadly, they will.
    Democrats will, hopefully, and with one voice oppose and obstruct this appointment and use any means to delay what may be the inevitable seating of Gorsuch.
    Several progressive pundits are already saying, “It could be worse.” ___ Perhaps I’m missing something, but I don’t see how. Merrick Garland was treated with absolute indifference and dismissed out of hand by the Republicans. The same treatment should await Gorsuch.

  • Michael R
    • The Wanderer

      Flash Jaye P. Morgan’s titties, and bring on Gene Gene the Dancing Machine!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OndJp6Dcwjk

      • Michael R

        Final appearance by Jaye P Morgan

      • ahughes798

        I used to ditch High School to watch that show. It was….something else.

      • Fun with Cthulhu

        I loved me some Jaye P. Morgan.

      • CripesAmighty

        Hey. Wasn’t it Fannie Flagg who flashed her titties?

        Oh, wait. That was ‘Match Game’, which was an exercise in high culture compared to this demolition derby/shitshow.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Rogue POTUS’ new Twitter page has Hugh in its avatar. I am tearing up. Hugh is my favorite evar Star Trek character.
    https://twitter.com/roguepotusstaff

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    This is what happens when you elect a TV game show host to be your President.

  • miss_grundy

    So the reality show television schmuck wants to treat this announcement as if it were a “Celebrity Apprentice” episode. Got it!

    • Jack Tenhet

      I’m treating it like a “Celebrity Apprentice” episode and not watching it at all. So done and done.

  • thewendyb

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b44e4db1f6b62de2ef70bb18159df1424f204af652be2a57a34d75473d08abfc.png

    HERE.
    Every office in the White House.
    Thanks, Anonymous.
    Why not Call ’em ALL?!

    • Stulexington

      Giuliani is still ‘growing into his position’ I see.

  • Come here a minute

    From Wikipedia

    Hardiman speaks fluent Spanish and as a student, participated in an exchange program in Mexico.

    So, no.

    On the other hand

    Gorsuch is the son of David Gorsuch and Anne Gorsuch Burford (née Anne Irene McGill), a Republican and states’ rights proponent, who, under President Ronald Reagan, was the first female head of the United States Environmental Protection Agency
    from 1981 to 1983, when she was forced to resign for failure to turn
    over documents to Congress related to the alleged mishandling of Superfund.

    He’s our man!!!!

    • Jack Tenhet

      Or, to quote the original movie “The Producers”, “We’ve found our Hitler!”

      • ahughes798

        Who knew we had so many Hitlers? Why….it’s almost like there’s a basket full of them.

    • boyblue123
      • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

        Oh, fuck. Just fuck everything. And especially those 2 twatwaffles.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        GORSUCH IS THE REAL KILLER! GORSUCH KILLED SCALIA!1!1!1

        • Jack Tenhet

          Can we do a Scooby Doo style unmasking to reveal Gorsuch is actually Old Man Withers who runs the abandoned amusement park?

          • Pisto75666

            “I would’ve been made SCOTUS if it weren’t for those meddling kids!’

          • Jack Tenhet

            “And their dog!”

  • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

    Rogue POTUS says it is Gorsuch. From his Wiki page:

    In a 2005 speech at Case Western Reserve University, Gorsuch said that judges should strive “to apply the law as it is, focusing backward, not forward …’

    Fucking originalist. Scalia the Second?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Early Scalia at least had moments of reasonableness. This is more “Scalia at the end of his tenure, on steroids”.

      • Mary Stone

        on bath salts and steriods.

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      Then it goes on to this”

      n a 2005 article published by National Review, Gorsuch argued that “American liberals have become addicted to the courtroom, relying on judges and lawyers rather than elected leaders and the ballot box, as the primary means of effecting their social agenda” and that they are “failing to reach out and persuade the public”. Gorsuch wrote that, by relying on judges instead of elected officials and the ballot box to enact their agenda, American liberals are circumventing the democratic process on issues like gay marriage, school vouchers, and assisted suicide, and this has led to a compromised judiciary, which is no longer independent. Gorsuch wrote that American liberals’ “overweening addiction” to using the courts for social debate is “bad for the nation and bad for the judiciary”

      What weird fucking bubble does he live in? The GOP has been after Obama in the courts continuously. Though, on closer reading he said that in 2005, pre-Obama. Dear Dems, please ask him about this shit during confirmation hearing.

      • boyblue123

        So what hes really saying is that he doesnt want to be on the Supreme Court at all because it really doesnt serve a purpose

        • Amelia

          President Bannon wants an irrelevant judiciary, so this guy is perfect!

          • boyblue123

            makes sense

        • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

          Kinda like putting Perry at Energy and Carson at HUD.

        • Stulexington

          Oh no, it serves a purpose, he just doesn’t want to hear all the liberals constantly bitching about how the gubernment keeps breaking the law. Why can’t they just bow to mob rule as though the US was an actual democracy instead of the republic it actually is?

      • Jack Tenhet

        He really seems to have little understanding of HOW our system works. The Judicial branch is often the only redress citizens have from the tyranny of the majority and to insinuate that one is abusing the Judicial system to seek reforms not possible through the Legislative or Executive branches is absurdist logic. Consider also that George W. Bush was effectively elected president based on the Court. Hypocrisy is the one human trait I do not abide and seek actively to exterminate from my own life.

    • Mary Stone

      Author of the wonderful, really great Hobby Lobby decision, which ascribes to corporate entities religious rights and ascribes to human women the obligation to be an incubator, a life support system for a zygote. As an added extra bonus free gift, he’s also a Kissinger fellator. His yearbook quote is a dinner-winner “The illegal we do immediately; the unconstitutional takes a little longer.” <– That was in Mr. Gorsuch's high school yearbook. Whatta guy.

  • Jack Tenhet

    I don’t think #45 realizes that the American people have a threshold as far as a politician always being on TV is concerned. That’s why most past presidents didn’t overexpose themselves like he is. We’re still trained to feel either dread or anger when a president Preempts our TV because the news has never been “good” when done in the past. “What the hell is he doing on TV now? We’d better be under attack or Imma be pissed!” kind of thing.

    He thinks he’s still a celebrity and people still want to see him. He’s not. He’s president now, so in that grand old tradition, we’re sick of seeing his face unless we go on cable news looking for it.

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      I don’t normally wish this on people but I hope that every day he spends in office makes him miserable.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Sure, us politics nerds care, but after Wheel and Jeopardy are over, do John and Judy Economically-Anxious really care who the next SCOTUS is?

    • Jack Tenhet

      Not in the least. Not if it interrupts their regularly scheduled programming.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Imagine Assmouth’s reaction if nobody tuned in. We’d be invading Mexico by Thursday.

    • yyyaz

      Will we take all their tequila?

      • Jack Tenhet

        Well, by this point, we’re kind of obligated to take their Tequila and all the Taco Bowls. Taco bowls as far as the eye can see! A taco bowl for every pot but no pot for every taco bowl, Sessions hates pot.

        • yyyaz

          I hear pot and kettle both hate him.

  • Steven

    Gorsuch. a name straight out of HP Lovecraft

  • tehbaddr

    Then tomorrow the alternative facts about how may people watched and how Yoooge the ratings were.

    • Stulexington

      11 billion people watched it world wide!

  • Apple Scruff

    Sorry, but @RoguePotusStaff is a much better show than anything Donald Trump has every produced. The DRAMA!!!

    https://twitter.com/RoguePOTUSStaff/status/826554801202819073

    • boyblue123

      Now you know that account is fake when they taking into consideration people’s feelings about wasted money

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      Dear Rinsed Penis (I hope you rinsed that thing, cause ew),

      The public is angry about the unconstitutional immigrant ban, your treatment of women and minorities, Steve fucking Bannon, most if not all of your cabinet appointments … need I go on? …. we could give a rat’s ass about the cost of one airline ticket.

    • yyyaz

      Red herrings, get your red herrings, red herrings here, get ’em while they’re hot!

  • CripesAmighty

    LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE, from beeeayooootiful downtown Washington, this is Don Pardo!…

    Mother of fucking God.

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      Is he introducing the Illinois Enema Bandit?

      • tehbaddr

        “it must be just what they all needs…”

    • Jack Tenhet

      Maybe he’ll resurrect Topo Gigio.

  • tehbaddr

    I don’t want to hear of any wonkers turning that nasty vile shit on!

    We can open thread imaginary blog it with plenty of dick jokes. Sorry Trix, but you didn’t want to watch that anyway, even for that new wonkengine.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Not giving him the ratings. Everyone knows that’s what this is all about. That’s how petty this is. It’s still about ratings.

      “What if your hinges all are rusting?
      What if, in fact, you’re just disgusting?
      Razzle Dazzle ‘Em and they’ll never catch wiiiiiiise.”

    • Stulexington

      If you must watch for jorb, pirate it!

  • ken_kukec

    “What do we have as a consolation prize for our first runner-up, Johnny?”

    “Each losing contestant on our show receives the home version of the Trump game, Donald.”

    • Jack Tenhet

      And two bottles of “classy” Trump brand Vodka. You can barely see the Aristocrat label underneath the “brand”.

    • CripesAmighty

      A free trip to scorched-earth post-apocalypse wasteland.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Yeah, but it’ll be the biggest wasteland. It’ll be such a yuge wasteland you’ll just get sick of winning.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      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

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I’d buy that for a dollar!

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • Jack Tenhet

      AWESOME! Give ’em hell! :)

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Fab!!!

  • boyblue123

    Make it into a Survivor type reality show thats drawn out over a few weeks.

    Each SCOTUS finalist captains a team that includes themselves and 4 other current judges on the Supreme court.

    Winning team’s captain get a seat on the supreme court

    • yyyaz

      Nekkid and scared shitless. Popcorn?

    • CripesAmighty

      I wanna vote myself off this fucking island.

      How about a US refugee program, Angela?

      • yyyaz

        I took two years of Deutsche before I learned about the Holocaust. Was so ashamed that I quit using it for the rest of my life. But I could brush up real quick like.

        • CripesAmighty

          Used to be fluent. Don’t use it and you lose it. Don’t know shit no more.

    • Jack Tenhet

      I’ll buy it, but only if they have to eat gross shit and drink their own pee. You know, to class it up more.

      • boyblue123

        of course…has to be classy….tremendously classy, the best. Only the best for the orange one

        • Jack Tenhet

          You forgot “big”. It has to be huuge! Bigly!

  • Blender_415

    I’m not watching any of it unless there’s guaranteed Pee Hooker Goodness.

    • Jack Tenhet

      No Russian pee-hookers, but maybe the Bannon bikini team. More reasons not to watch.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Bannon bikini… he’s totally a C-cup…

        • AlanInSF

          Thanks to the death of PC, it’s socially acceptable to man-boob shame Nazis

          • Jack Tenhet

            It’s never been NOT acceptable to man-boob shame Nazis. Stupid and Race murdering are not protected classes. . . yet.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          And that’s just his nads.

      • boyblue123

        TheBannon bikini team is really just dudes who look like Bannon dressed in just Speedos

  • Jack Tenhet

    “TUESDAY! TUesday! Tuesday! From the Rose Garden! MONSTER MADNESSSSS! With GORSUCH! The OTHER White guy! AND TRUCK-A-Saurus REEEX! Featuring the Bannon bikini team. Catch the FEVER!”

    • Dazza

      Augh. Please, no! I’ll confess – to everything (and anything you want), just no Bannon in a bikini.
      Hey. A replacement for waterboarding suggests itself.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to “The Celebrity Justice”
    ….Your host: Benito Cheeto himself, Donald Trump

    Who will get the seat on the Supremmy’ Court?

    Tune in tonight.

    For fuck’s sake, he’s even turned naming a SCOTUS justice candidate into a game show, a ‘reality TV’ moment. With each passing hour, he and his fubar cabal debase this country and its government more and more.

    • Last Hussar

      The scary thing is how Republican s are twist8ng to accommodate this. I don’t just mean politicians, look at the man in the street interviews. Of course a number think this is the best way too run a powerful country of 320m.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Does this mean we are heading for the Running Man or the hunger games

      • Mary Stone

        The running hunger man games.

    • cmd resistor

      So I made the mistake of watching it. Does anyone know what happened to the other contestant? Like did he show up and get humiliated backstage or what? I was about to throw up listening to CNN talking about the “finalists.” I read somewhere in passing that the other guy decided not to participate but no idea if that was true.

  • boyblue123

    Insight into how Drumpf ran the Apprentice show.

    Hint: Contestants didnt advance on the show based on how good they performed. They advanced based on the random whim of Drumpf. Producers had lots of trouble editing the show to come up with story lines that made sense

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3ik14JUEAEU-x8.jpg

    • Jack Tenhet

      That last paragraph was the birth of “alternative fact”

      • boyblue123

        make him look competent by coming up with some B.S. yup

    • Begin Anew Day

      So donnie gave America it’s first glimpse of quantum mechanical chaos at work in a business board room?

      I thought donnie had sworn off science after the fiasco with his hair in that cyclotron at Brookhaven.

  • yyyaz

    Can anyone imagine this repulsive stunt being staged by any of our allies? I can’t even picture a Pooty or Mugabe trying it.

  • Jack Tenhet

    If there is a such thing as Karma and reincarnation, is it wrong to wish some people would come back as diseased itinerant mimes?

  • The Librarian

    And the winner is Neil Gorsuch!!!

    Eat him for breakfast, Dems!!!

    • Jack Tenhet

      Someone was listening. We said his name in here too many times. He’s like Beetlejuice or Candyman.

      • DahBoner

        He’s got an assisted dissonant suicide plan, man

    • boyblue123

      That was totally worth cheapening the political process for 5 whole mins of air time

      • Jack Tenhet

        Well, #45 knows how to cheapen respectable things up. The Whitehouse interior looks like a cross between Saddam Hussein’s palace and The Moulin Rouge, just without booze.

  • Jack Tenhet

    Feel like I should vomit and I haven’t even started drinking yet.

    • Sister Artemis

      If you vomit first, it makes more room for the alcohol

      • Jack Tenhet

        Can’t argue with science! #science !

      • mardam422

        Get drunk quicker too.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    I take it the world got worse during my nap?

    • Begin Anew Day

      Donnie’s a MACHINE!

      Who’da thunk an old fart like this with the senility and the junk food ravaged physique could set a pace like this?

      Could it be…METH?

      • Mary Stone

        Maybe it’s coke. After all, “coke adds life.”

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Oh my goddess, trumpy is turning our government into a reality show. I am speechless, what the hell did you do america ?

    • Begin Anew Day

      ‘Murica left a big sloppy floater in the punchbowl of civilization.

      But they have not closed the libraries…yet.

      • Amalga

        They are in Douglas County, Oregon.

    • The rest of the world has gathered in the secret squirrel tree house and decided they don’t want to let donnie into the club. He will run home and tell Mommy (Bannon in a bad wig) that all the countries are being mean to him.

  • Begin Anew Day

    So donnie called me this afternoon and offered me the job. Look, I applied for a job online at home depot to drive a forklift and this happens. These mshuge computers have me all shook up.So anyway I talk to donnie for a few minutes and he keeps talking about how the job includes judging beauty pageants, dog shows and rating baked goods at various county fairs. I’m starting to think this job might be better that the forklift gig. He wanted to know who I favored in the Super Bowl! I had to be honest and say The Patriots by 17 over the falcons. This runs counter to the money donnie has been laying on Atlanta and he’s irked. I tell him that I have to support a teamful of arrogant pricks any time over the a bunch of yokels who let WT Sherman torch their whole city. Being generous to arrogant pricks makes donnie feel warm and loved.Nothing but net for me!

    Once I get onto that court I am going to get rid of all those rooms full of all those books with the tiny type. Install THREE BIG SCREEN Teevees , custom bar, waterbed, the works. Donnie told me that I’d have to keep mum while the “kabuki drama” plays out in the senate confirmation. Clarence Thomas did the same thing. I can shut my mouth and behave while standing on my head! I.m not blowing this one!

  • Begin Anew Day

    So donnie called me this afternoon and offered me the job. Look, I applied for a job online at home depot to drive a forklift and this happens. These mshuge computers have me all shook up.So anyway I talk to donnie for a few minutes and he keeps talking about how the job includes judging beauty pageants, dog shows and rating baked goods at various county fairs. I’m starting to think this job might be better than the forklift gig. He wanted to know who I favored in the Super Bowl! I had to be honest and say The Patriots by 17 over the Falcons. This runs counter to the money donnie has been laying on Atlanta and he’s irked. I tell him that I have to support a teamful of arrogant pricks any time over the a bunch of yokels who let WT Sherman torch their whole city. Being generous to arrogant pricks makes donnie feel warm and loved.Nothing but net for me!

    Once I get onto that court I am going to get rid of all those rooms full of all those books with the tiny type. Install THREE BIG SCREEN Teevees , custom bar, waterbed, the works. Donnie told me that I’d have to keep mum while the “kabuki drama” plays out in the senate confirmation. Clarence Thomas did the same thing. I can shut my mouth and behave while standing on my head! I’m not blowing this one!

  • Mary Stone

    H/T to Kevin J. Byrne, who is the author of this piece:
    Super callous fragile racist Putin-puppet POTUS
    Just the very thought of him is something quite atrocious
    He will bring our nation to a state of rigor mortis
    Super callous fragile racist Putin-puppet POTUS

  • xbutter

    Bigly ratings could be achieved with a Transcontinental Road Race, with extra points awarded for mowing down children and the elderly-should appeal to Republican voters. They could even add immigrants . Who knew that a 1975 sci fi movie could provide a way forward for finding the best GOP candidates without all those messy confirmation hearings.

    • mardam422

      Ten Federal Judges, divided into two teams. One by one they get voted off after each team makes rulings on everyday things like should you park your car in the garage head in or head out, by a jury which includes Trump, Bannon, Uday, Qusay, Ivanka, Uday’s wife, Ivanka’s hubby and a few more. EXCITING!!

  • Marshaewoodworth

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sr316c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !sr316c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash866DigitalAcademyGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!sr316c:….,………

  • mardam422

    Where are all the people who for eight years screamed about Obama removing dignity from the WH? Seems to me they had no idea what the word meant to begin with.

    • Christy Slone

      When you have a President like Obama who didn’t respect his own country and couldn’t even Honor his own country s flag and did nothing but try to cause racism along with his wife . You should have known that the country would go to hell like it did.

      • mardam422

        Really? Reality much?

  • If this “administration” was a movie the script would be rejected because the suspension of disbelief went way too far.

  • Jgb979

    Trump shouldn’t be allowed to nominate a Supreme Court justice in the last year of his presidency.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      ISWYDT

  • empf

    I knew it was someone I wouldn’t like, so I just waited for the news alert on my phone.

  • Christy Slone

    Make America great again Trump! Reading these articles made me think how childish the writer of them was. And the writer sound like he lost the Battle in the election. But God had said his peace and Trump is our President . I can only say thank God! Because with out him we would have had a really bad out come if anyone other then President Trump had got in.

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