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Looks like a pretty crimey bunch, frankly
Looks like a pretty crimey bunch, frankly

Thank God Donald Trump is going to be investigating all the illegal voting that made him lose the popular vote in places with lots of the wrong kinds of Americans, because it turns out there’s a hell of a lot of potential frauders out there! You see, a whole bunch of the people Mad President Snapcase thinks are probably illegal voters are in his family and his administration. The voter fraud is coming from inside the (White) House!

In plain old reality, thanks to the fact that people move and die a lot in a country with about 320 million people living in it, the voting rolls are full of dead people and people who are registered in two states. That latter category would include Tiffany Trump, who’s registered in New York and Pennsylvania, Trump’s Treasury Secretary nominee Steven Mnuchin, who’s registered in New York and California, and Trump’s sleazebag strategist Steve Bannon, who until yesterday was registered in both New York and Florida, although the Sarasota County Supervisor of Elections helpfully removed Bannon from voter rolls Wednesday after Bannon’s dual registration was reported by a local paper.

There’s nothing illegal about people being registered to vote in two or more states, as long as they only vote in one. It happens all the time — like virtually every time someone moves from one state to another, or even within states, depending on how well states clean up their own voter records. It never occurred to Yr Dok Zoom to contact Arizona and demand he be taken off the voter rolls there when he moved to Idaho over a decade ago, and Yr Editrix is (presumably) currently registered in both California and Montana, because when she moved to Big Sky Country she didn’t tell California to cancel her voter registration. Virtually no one does. And dead people often have the incivility not to come back from the grave and cancel their own registrations. It’s also not a task that’s on many bereaved families’ to-do lists either.

There’s no fraud unless someone else goes and votes in person in the name of the moved or deceased person, and study after study shows no such thing happens — including the very Pew survey that Sean Spicer incorrectly said Tuesday was evidence of massive fraud. What that study, and others, have found is that there are a lot of people on voter rolls who may no longer be able to vote in the listed polling place — but NOT that anyone is actually voting in their place, which would take massive coordination. Hell, as Chris Matthews, who is not a smart man, pointed out, for 5 million illegal aliens to have voted, that would mean nearly half the undocumented people in the USA would have voted. It’s hard enough to get half the LEGAL voters to show up at the polls!

Oh, and speaking of Sean Spicer? He’s one of those potential voting fraudsters, according to election data specialist Tom Bonier, CEO of campaign data crunching company TargetSmart:

bonier-spicer

Bonier also found that White House chief of staff Reince Priebus and Donald Trump’s son-in-law/top adviser Jared Kushner are both registered in two states. In a country with a lot of mobility, it’s exactly what you’d expect, it’s completely legal, and it’s not evidence of fraud at all. States and counties clean up their voter rolls from time to time by purging people who haven’t voted in the last few general elections — it varies by jurisdiction — and that does the job of getting rid of the departed (dearly or merely relocated) just fine. But Republicans insist there must be tons of voter fraud out there, even when there’s no evidence to support it.

And Republican state officials are determined to wipe out that nonexistent fraud, even if it means throwing qualified voters off the rolls — see, for example, Rolling Stone’s chilling story of the “Crosscheck” system, which is supposed to identify voters registered in two places, but is just as likely to find two separate people who have the same first and last names, and sometimes the same birth date, but are very definitely not the same human being:

We found that one-fourth of the names on the list actually lacked a middle-name match. The system can also mistakenly identify fathers and sons as the same voter, ignoring designations of Jr. and Sr. A whole lot of people named “James Brown” are suspected of voting or registering twice, 357 of them in Georgia alone. But according to Crosscheck, James Willie Brown is supposed to be the same voter as James Arthur Brown. James Clifford Brown is allegedly the same voter as James Lynn Brown.

The checks for middle names, birth dates, and last four digits of Social Security numbers may or may not actually be followed before someone’s purged from the rolls. Would you be the least bit surprised to learn that Crosscheck is the brainchild of Kris Kobach, the fraud-obsessed Kansas Secretary of State, who sees preventing people from voting as his life’s mission? Better that thousands of eligible voters be turned away (especially if they’re black) than one or two people vote illegally.

To make matters worse, members of minority groups

are overrepresented in 85 of 100 of the most common last names. If your name is Washington, there’s an 89 percent chance you’re African-American. If your last name is Hernandez, there’s a 94 percent chance you’re Hispanic. If your name is Kim, there’s a 95 percent chance you’re Asian.

Hooray, more potential false positives! And then there’s the “screening” that happens after Crosscheck identifies a potential double-registered voter: The state sends out a postcard, and the voter has to mail it back to the secretary of state’s office. If they don’t return the postcard, the process of kicking them off the voter rolls starts. And here’s a little extra bias against Democratic-leaning voters:

According to the Census Bureau, white voters are 21 percent more likely than blacks or Hispanics to respond to their official requests; homeowners are 32 percent more likely to respond than renters; and the young are 74 percent less likely than the old to respond. Those on the move — students and the poor, who often shift apartments while hunting for work — will likely not get the mail in the first place.

Whether the racial, class, and party bias of the system is by design or not, the outcome definitely gets rid of more voters who are likely to go Democratic than Republican — and it eliminates people who would be eligible to vote. And it happens to be very popular in swing states. Go read the entire article — it’s infuriating, and will leave you wondering just how valid the vote was in several swing states, where the election really may have been rigged — not by fraudulent voters, but in the offices of Secretaries of State, long before election day. Imagine that.

Maybe that federal investigation of problems with the 2016 vote needs to go forward after all. We bet it’ll look really closely at the problems with Crosscheck, even if it risks offending Kris Kobach, who was on Trump’s transition team. Yep, no way they’ll simply find a lot of people named James Brown and Juan Hernandez in California or New York and decide it was one guy voting thousands of times…

[The Hill / NYT / Sarasota Herald-Tribune / Tom Bonier on Twitter / Rolling Stone]

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  • memzilla Ω
    • Crank Tango

      LOL I like how they threw “cucks” in there.

      • puredog

        Up here in the Northwest we’re just full of ’em.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Looks like the Border Patrol Chief just told the dolan to go pound sand too.

    https://www.apnews.com/1552a2a8859e49318fbf4f940eab5926

  • Nounverb911

    “These six vote fraudsters are the vote fraudsters we’re looking for.”
    –DJT

  • Beanz&Berryz

    I really really try to not be hateful, but I do HATE these fuckers….

    • BadKitty904

      Same here. I am genuinely uncomfortable with being hateful, but these evil bastards are pretty much forcing me to be…

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Well, according to CNN…we’ll find out what Trump’s gonna do about it around 4:30 when he will sign yet another Executive Order to address this.
    At this rate, he’ll sign more EOs in his first 100 days that President Obama did in two terms.

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      Whatever was that thing about King Barry the tyrant. IOKYR

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Executive Orders stopped being the tools of tyrants right around noon last Friday.

    • BadKitty904

      Almost none of which, apparently, can actually be executed.

      • Amy!

        That part soothes me. A little.

        But only a little. HB2 in NC also had no provisions for enforcement. It was all about rounding up a posse for a little afternoon entertainment with a rope and a tree.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Maybe he’s trying to have the number of EO’s match the number of scandals in his administration?

  • canes_pugnaces

    The solution: have the Trump private security detail round these common criminals up, and deny them for ten, long painful days access to bathe in the orange neon glow of the Velveeta Hitler. It’s just an idea. Oh, and as extra punishment they have to tell the truth.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Ya know…
    I am beginning to think he might not even make it a full year before he either resigns or is thrown out like a bum.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/01/trump-calls-pew-reporter-groveling

    • Beanz&Berryz

      We started a pool, informally, in another thread… pick your date and whether he resigns or is tossed out under the 25th Amendment. I think I went with him being 25thed by June 20.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Which thread?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Donald… Soooooooo Lonely….

          OK… Literally… I tried to start… Not sure yet if anyone else is participating

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        Do you think He Went To Jared would allow his chance to be a shadow president go that easily?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Jared’s gonna have to reign him in (intentional sic) if Jared’s gonna wanna keep being the (dark) shadow President.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Oh, PLEEEEEZE let him be booted out on 6/19. Having him hauled out of the White House on Juneteenth would be just cosmically just.

    • BadKitty904

      The damage he’s doing the GOP is rising steadily. Once it reaches Critical Level, they’ll dispose of him, one way or the other.

      In the meantime, each mouth-foaming, carpet-chewing rant simply serves to make his Koch-sucking VP, Lil’ Mikey, look more “Presidential” by comparison…

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      There are millions of votes, in my opinion.

      Your opinion is not evidence, asshole.

      Christ, I can’t believe I have to point this out to the occupant in the White House FFS.

  • mPEEg

    Wow, that’s a lot of sorting, data management, and purple-penciling double-registered names to document and disqualify and notify they’re in violation**!? Sounds like MOAR JOB CREATIONS are in order, yay!
    … what, you mean this effort-loaded undertaking is at taxpayers’ expense?
    #gonnabealongfouryears

    ** and I’m operating under a flimsy presumption you get notified when you are dual-registered in multiple states~

    • proudgrampa

      That job sounds about as interesting as the one that puts the little stickers on all the fruit for the grocery store.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Yeah, more likely they’ll just purge you completely. Unless you live in a deep-red district. Okay, districts.

  • Bemused

    My mother has 4 cousins who have the same 1st and last names (they were all called by their middle names, apparently), who all live in the same metro area. They aren’t the same person.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Are they cousins? Identical cousins all the way?

      • Bemused

        The identical cousin thing was before my time. Sorry. :P

    • Celtic_Gnome

      My Irish Catholic mother (Mary Frances) introduced me to a bunch of her cousins at a wedding. There was Mary Louise, Mary Beth, Mary Ann, Mary Margaret, Mary Sue, etc.

  • Nounverb911

    Trump just endorsed Hillary at the GOPthing in Philly.
    https://twitter.com/andersonatlarge/status/824686060395495424

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Some guy named John Smith voted multiple times in every state! He must be magic!

    • Crank Tango

      Even worse, there is evidence that Jose Lopez voted in multiple states.

    • Master Contrail Program

      There are John Does in lots of jails, morgues, and mental hospitals in the country. What further proof of criminal acts do you need, sheeple?!?!?!?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        If he’s listed as dead in two states, that’s Death Fraud!

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Or the Death Panels are far more efficient than we thought.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Not only that, he ran off with one of the natives, Pocahontas something or other.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        She doesn’t sound white at all. Probably better investigate her.

  • BadKitty904

    Otis the Town Drunk – top, center – must have some kind’ve alibi. Surely he was in the Mayberry drunk tank at the time…

    • Sardonicuss

      …but they left the keys hanging right outside!

      • BadKitty904

        Well, now, c’mon, Barney had to take Thelma Lou to the picture show over to Mount Pilot…

  • OrG

    Punching nazis is more fun than this.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      More productive, too.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Carrying a cross. Drumpf won the “Christian” vote hugely.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        A Corinthian in each hand.

        • Creepoman

          And a pussy in the other – wait, he has three hands?

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        But you realize that the “Christians” who voted for him were not really voting for religious reasons. It was just a convenient excuse. #racism

  • MynameisBlarney

    Meanwhilst, in some other assholes private Idaho….

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/01/idaho-students-sick-of-emasculation-and-degeneracy-recruited-to-join-white-supremacist-group/comments/#disqus

    Butthurt WATB Beta-Cucks tired of being oppressed, seek to join teh gnatsees.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      One of the commenters there nailed it:

      By becoming white supremacists you emasculated yourselves. There’s no bigger coward or degenerate than a white supremacist. That’s why they ALWAYS attack lone individuals as a group and demand the government kill their enemies. And by the way, the opposite of masculine isn’t feminine. As we saw as an example this week, women are brave and strong. These idiots are neither masculine nor feminine nor agendered, they are simply things.

      ZING!

    • TJ Barke

      Misogyny =/= masculinity.

  • proudgrampa

    Oh, hell. They all do it…

  • Villago Delenda Est

    These vile creatures project incessantly. It’s what they do, 24/7.

    • BadKitty904

      Having no inner life of their own, I s’pose they have no choice.

  • Clyde Barrow

    I can’t wait to play my new Trump card in next week’s tournament… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/917c07a75136c42768fb1212792d957e6162ad27a488a37d0f1a08063959cbe6.png

  • Chadwells

    This shit comes straight out of a comic book. Man…we are fucking doomed…DOOOOOMED!!!

    • Clyde Barrow
      • Chadwells

        Exactly!!!

    • Master Contrail Program

      This is what happens when you don’t nurture your Amazing Sea Monkeys. Or buy X-Ray Specs to read between the lines.

      Our only hope is to get Atlas bodies and become heroes of the beach!!

      Or something else.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’m gonna build my own personal hovercraft with my ma’s old Electrolux!

    • Master Contrail Program
    • Sardonicuss
    • MynameisBlarney

      Nah.
      As I said a few days ago in another thread.
      Sure, it’s gonna suck bawls for a awhile, but then sane people will regain control.

      • Bebecca

        sure, other republicans may be sane but they’re also evil, just about every one of them.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Oh absolutely true.

          But I wasn’t talking about them.
          Once trump is either hauled off in a straight jacket or perp-walked in cuffs and leg-irons, Pence and his talibangelical hordes will assume control of the WH.
          But Pence won’t win in 2020.

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        Maybe but there is a chance that we will be too patient and let things get far beyond repair.

        • MynameisBlarney

          There’s always that chance.

      • OneYieldRegular

        I wish I could share your optimism, but that’s what they always say, and then they get Mussolini for 26 years, Hitler for 12, Franco for godfuckingever.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Good point.

          But I choose to remain cautiously optimistic.

          • puredog

            Imma go with just “cautious.”

  • boyblue122

    OT – Look what a bookcase inside the old state dept library has turned into……

    A mostly empty bookshelf with just a couple of Drumpf books on it

    https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/824680714344026112

    • BadKitty904

      I think “empty bookcase” pretty much sums up this “Administration,” to date…

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        It’s not a bad metaphor for the inner workings of Donnie’s brain, methinks. Maybe with a couple of old copies of “Penthouse” on one shelf, and a cymbal playing monkey banging away on another.

        • Marion in Savannah

          And multiple copies of any magazine that ever had him on the cover.

          • Alternative Pony Ron

            Unread.

          • Marion in Savannah

            That goes without saying.

        • BadKitty904

          So, you’re saying an evil Homer Simpson is now occupying our Presidency?

    • Nounverb911

      Needs more Fahrenheit 451.

      • boyblue122

        yeah, clear out the rest of the orange one’s books

    • Me The People

      America has clearly been made great again.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      That is absolutely pitiful. No wonder civil servants are probably wondering the easiest way to get out with their dignity intact.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        “How do I get in on one of those mass resignations?” must be the #1 question to HR right now.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The even more tragic alternate ending to the Twilight Zone episode “Time Enough at Last.”

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Yeah…I think I’d smash my OWN glasses in that event.

    • OneYieldRegular

      They’re for purchase, no doubt.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      That’s awesome. Next week they’ll some of Ivanka’s jewelry for sale.

    • aureolaborealis

      “FALSE! The bookshelves are empty because we SOLD OUT of red ballcaps!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    According to the Census Bureau, white voters are 21 percent more likely than blacks or Hispanics to respond to their official requests; homeowners are 32 percent more likely to respond than renters; and the young are 74 percent less likely than the old to respond. Those on the move — students and the poor, who often shift apartments while hunting for work — will likely not get the mail in the first place.

    Maybe that federal investigation of problems with the 2016 vote needs to go forward after all.

    If the Democrats, and perhaps some Republicans who put country above party (if any of those exist) step up and focus on these issues, then perhaps we will be OK in the long run. DO IT!

  • fawkedifiknow

    The last I heard about the Trump spawn, back in the Republican primary days, they couldn’t even vote because they hadn’t registered at all – say nothing of registering in two different jurisdictions. They are either moving up, or down, in the world, depending how you look at it.

    • suziq

      I think it was that in NY you could only vote for the party you were registered in and they weren’t registered Republicans. They didn’t know that they were supposed to change that in time. They claimed they were “independent” but I choose to believe they were registered as Democrats but either way they didn’t vote for daddy in the primary election.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        New York has some seriously fucked up rules on party registration.

        • suziq

          Other states do it too. It is so that if you are a Democrat and you want your sane candidate to have to run against a horrible unqualified person you could vote for the R in the primary then (theoretically) your sane D person would win in a landslide. Doesn’t always work and you get Michele Bachmans and Paul LePages or whatever so it is still a risk. (I don’t actually know if that is how those crazy people got elected, they are just the first extra-crazy people that came into my head)

          • puredog

            I am sorry for your perceived extra-crazy person shortage, but cheer up, I think the tide is turning.

          • suziq

            Oh, definitely no crazy person shortage, for some reason those two popped into my head. There are LOTS of crazies but sometimes you overplay your hand and they actually get elected. I think in some places people did that with Trump. At the beginning.

        • Marion in Savannah

          When I lived in NYC I registered as a Democrat because a) I are one, and b) that’s where the primary action is. Of course, if you can’t be bothered to vote in primaries it doesn’t matter whether you declare a party affiliation.

      • Bebecca

        I hope they’re all republicans now, we don’t want them.

        • suziq

          It’s NY so it doesn’t really matter.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Neato. My brother, dad, and grandpa all have the same first and last names, so I guess they’re all going out too, and we’re not even a little blah!

    • beingreleased

      Look, I’m not saying they’re committing voter fraud just yet. They’ll need to be sent to a black-ops site and tortured for a while before we can determine that.

  • memzilla Ω

    O/T: Putin has arrested 5 people, including the #2 guy in the FSB’s cyberterrorism directorate, claiming they leaked intelligence to the US about Russia’s hacking the US election. Less than a week into President Puss Grabber’s Russian-penetrated staff having access to top secret US intelligence.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Unpossible! Putin said they didn’t do any hacking!

    • BadKitty904

      How many American agents will die because of Trump and the Republicans?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        AOTK.

      • WiscoJoe

        Enough to build a whole new memorial wall at Langley! Dump can’t wait for the dedication ceremony, which will be even more impressive than Peyton Manning.

        • Master Contrail Program

          “Hey, I built a yooge, classy wall didn’t I?”

        • A_Changeling

          I know I shouldn’t upfist…

      • anwisok

        He said they’d need a room 4X as big, so . .. you do the math!

      • Tom Krueger

        I am calling him an “enemy of the State” to anyone who refers to him; supporter or non-supporter.

        • BadKitty904

          Good. Because he is.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Oh how I do hope there’s email evidence for that that the Dems can find when they retake the Senate. We won’t even have to impeach him, we can move straight to a trial for treason.

    • boyblue122

      Is Flynn putting some CIA operatives at risk?

    • Crank Tango

      heh heh, you said Russian-penetrated staff.

      I kinda doubt his staff penetrated anything, not without substantial viagrafication anyway.

      • A_Changeling

        That reminds me…
        “What’s a Russian ass-buzzer like? It doesn’t buzz and doesn’t fit in your ass.”
        Soviet-era joke.
        Now it seems Russian are getting better at penetration…

    • Sandy Beaches

      Doesn’t one have to have information in order to leak it? Or does it still count as a leak if it’s a fabrication? I think these people are having a little trouble keeping their stories straight.

    • laughingnome

      When will they arrest the hookers for leaking on POTUS (Piss on the US)?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      The CIA will know.

    • Rags

      This is likely a way to accomplish two goals; to confirm that Russia did in fact hack the electoral process just so we know, while retaining some shred of plausible deniability and to send a message to Trump that they are in deep and will be back. We should not make the error of assuming that these arrests are legitimate or will end up in anything resembling punishment for those accused. Putin is a smart guy; a bastard but a smart guy.

  • Nounverb911
  • C4TWOMAN

    Hey, I’ll paycrowdfund to have a wall built around Trump and his family…on the condition they stay inside.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Oh, you know what Those People are like. They’ll be over or under the wall within days, entering the US to become rapists and drug dealers and take jobs away from Real Americans!

  • WiscoJoe

    New Quinnipiac Poll has Dump’s approval rating at 36%, which proves that 64% of Americans are illegal immigrants.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Or worse, they have opinions in two states!

    • Bill D. Burger

      {{{{ DEEEEEEEE-PORT! }}}}

    • Anna Rompage

      If this keeps up, another week of this and he’ll be even less popular than head lice, genital warts, and bed bugs…

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Put together!

      • WiscoJoe

        He’s already more unpopular than Obamacare, which I’ve come to understand is worse than slavery and the holocaust combined.

        • Chyron HR

          I hate Obamacare! Just give me some more of that good ol’ ACA, please.

      • mrpuma2u

        BED BUGZ LIBELZ!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        He already is, as far as I’m concerned. I could actually get rid of those things.

      • handyhippie65

        bed bugs are downright cuddly compared to dumpy.

    • mackafritz

      And yet 46% of the country voted for him. Were they too stupid to know what they were voting for?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I feel like this is a trick question…

      • Crank Tango

        46% of the people who voted, voted for him.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          given that less than half eligible to vote did so…

        • aureolaborealis

          Didn’t that amount to something like 27% of eligible voters?

        • bobbert

          So approximately 23% of eligible voters. It will be interesting to see if his approval numbers ever fall below that.

          • Crank Tango

            Reminds me of how even Cheney usually had around 20% approval ratings.

      • clubseal

        Your optimism is welcome, but probably misguided. They knew exactly what they were voting for: Someone who hates minorities as much as they do.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          “Make America White Again.”

          • clubseal

            White-Out’s horribly failed ad campaign.

          • LucindathePook

            Mike Nesmith’s mom LIBELZ!

      • mailman27

        Not to nitpick, but 46% of 54% of registered voters voted for him That works out to about 25%. We need to remind ourselves of this. Constantly…

      • handyhippie65

        no, 46% of those who voted. a majority of americans didn’t even vote.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I illegally immigrated to Oregon from New York via Arkansas.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Pollster fraud!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Exactly. If it isn’t Rasmussen it doesn’t count.

  • A_Changeling

    Anybody know if there are protests planned in Miami? I’m there now and I’m feeling protest-y, and hoping maybe the immigration stuff might sparkle some reaction here.

    Hey, I’m the person who goes to an another country where things are worse to protest instead of whining at home! Republicans must love me!

    • Crank Tango

      I would just protest a nice cuban sandwich if I were you.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I think I’m gonna go to the Cuban Cafeteria and protest with some black beans and rice with some Mojo roast pork and some friend plantains.

        • Crank Tango

          make lechon asado great again!

      • A_Changeling

        At least there will be gnashing of teeth?

        But really, there should be a “find your closest protest” website. Maybe there already is?

      • mailman27

        O man.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Have a Colada or Cafe con Leche and a Guava y Queso pastalito.

      Es muy bien!

    • zerosumgame0005

      sounds like you just moved! VOTER FRAUDSTER! did you tell your old precinct to take you off their rolls?

      • A_Changeling

        I’m also an illegal alien!! (Illegal in the sense that I’m not a Trump fan.) Not Christian either, if you ask me I’m a muslim, how was I let in?? Some people have done terrorist-y things where I come from! I wasn’t extremely vetted! Waterboard!

        • zerosumgame0005

          I would love to go out in the sun right now! but it is kiinda cool here right now :) too cool for an old guy like me anyway !

  • Shucky Ducky

    When Psychoneurotic President Trump is eventually overthrown I will welcome our new Patrician with open arms.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    I feel like vomiting all the time these days. I just can’t seem to figure out why.

    • mrpuma2u

      I feel like building a lean-to up in the hills, for a similar mysterious reason.

    • bobbert

      Well, in my case it’s partly the chemo, but I know what you mean.

  • Crystalclear12

    After this first week of the Trumping I really feel the need for another open thread to discuss Jill Stein and BoBs.

    • Sister Artemis

      I think we can always go back to the old one. In fact, it might be our patriotic and mental-health duty to do exactly that from time to time.

      • Sister Artemis

        Found it! and storing the URL for future reference

        Bernie Would Have Won! Hillary Is A Criminal! Wonkette’s A Shill, And DNC Cheated!
        I think of it sort like Mom saying “Have at it, assholes! and if I hear about this ONE. MORE. TIME!!!!!!!” all while delivering (my) mom’s glaringest glare of all glaredom. Then she turns on her heel and walks about of the room, and a brawl and/or food fight commences.

    • OrG

      I’d rather punch nazis.

      • Sister Artemis

        not mutually exclusive, btw

  • Bill D. Burger

    Carl Sagan was a prophet! I do miss him so.

    “I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time — when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness…

    The dumbing down of American is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance”

    ― Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Frighteningly prescient.

    • ltmcdies

      lost one of the goods one when he passed….

    • handyhippie65

      nailed it! wait, why am i happy about that?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Marion in Savannah

      Is this FOR REELZ??!!! I’m howling!

      • mackafritz

        And he did it twice.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Oh, gawd, that makes it even better!

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Three times and you get locked out of your account.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            While the rest of the planet has access.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Looks very possible. I can only imagine the fun hackers are having .

        https://techcrunch.com/2017/01/26/sean-spicer-n9y25ah7/

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      A desperate cry for help?

    • anwisok

      You have GOT to be kidding. Jeebus fucking Christ – EPIC fail.
      http://www.transadvocate.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Epic_Facepalm_by_RJTH25255B125255D5B15D.jpg

    • Master Contrail Program

      Was the password? Password

      IWBINTS

    • Amy!

      BUT HER EMAILS!!

      • Sister Artemis

        fuck that. I’m still worked up about the WH Christmas List debacle

    • John D.

      Hey, he’s only as competent as his boss:

      “Security Risks of the President’s Android Phone”

      https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2017/01/security_risks_13.html

      “I’m not concerned about the data. Anything he reads on that screen is
      coming from the insecure network that we all use, and any e-mails,
      texts, Tweets, and whatever are going out to that same network. But this
      is a consumer device, and it’s going to have security vulnerabilities.
      He’s at risk from everybody, ranging from lone hackers to the
      better-funded intelligence agencies of the world. And while the risk of a
      forged e-mail is real — it could easily move the stock market — the
      bigger risk is eavesdropping. That Android has a microphone, which means
      that it can be turned into a room bug without anyone’s knowledge.
      That’s my real fear.”

    • NastyBossetti

      No. Come on. This is too unbelievable.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I think the thing that I get stuck on most with these conspiracy theories is how on earth would you even make it work? For starters, why would Hillary even bother to organize millions of fraudulent votes in California and New York when it’s clear she was going to win them anyway and the excess votes in those places have no use to her in the Electoral College?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Gaw!
      Yer stewpid!
      Its caws she’s aluminadi! DUH! Ya idjit!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Well now you’ve done it: I’m going to report you to Beyoncé.

        • MynameisBlarney

          AAAAAWWWW YISSSS!

    • Vincent Ricola

      FAKE NEWZ!1!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Amazing huh? 3-5 million illegal voters mobilized. No one but Donny can find em’ and they were all in the states she would have won no matter what. Not one in the states she needed.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Our failure to properly distribute our 5 million illegal votes cost us the election!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I mean, seriously. We really need to get better at this stuff.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Cheating and fraud is so much harder than I thought. If only we had the work ethic and stamina of Republicans!

    • chicken thief

      Well, there was no good reason for her to kill Vince Foster either, but….

      • aureolaborealis

        Or personally garrote those Benghazi folks and then dance in the hot rain of their arterial spray.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Not content with their search for “America’s One TRUE Conservative”, the GOP ups the ante on their search for “America’s One Legitimate Voter”.

  • Marion in Savannah

    This is one of the times when I’m glad that my last name is unusual to the point of weird, and that I’m the only person in the city with it. (I think in NYC when I was a child there were 4, me, my mother, and 2 others.) I do share it with a moderately well known actress, however…

    • Sister Artemis

      I have an unusual RL last name, and only know people in my family who share it. However, up until I stopped checking 5 or so years ago (don’t use a paper phone book anymore), every phone book in every small city I’ve lived in has had 5 or 6 listings of people I don’t know with that same last name. And in 22 years of business with the public in the same location, I’ve never run into any of them through work either. Weird.

      On the other hand, a man sharing my first initial and same last name, who defaulted on his student loans back in the 1980s, has been linked to my landline listing about every 3 to 5 years, and it even followed me to my first cell phone. That’s about 3 decades of overlaps. Easily cleared up, since age, gender and first name are so obviously different on any paperwork they actually research. Still….

    • Roadstergal

      My last name is unusual – and looks like a joke name. :p

      My dad and brother have the same first, last, and middle names. :

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Mulva?

    • Courser

      It’s my first name that’s unique. A few years ago I checked and I was the only person with that name in the Metro.

    • NastyBossetti

      My first and last names are unusual. Unfortunately, I have 8 siblings who all had (some of us changed names after marriage) the same first initial, same middle name, same last name. It’s gotten us mixed up as “aliases” on credit reports before, which is a nightmare to clean up, and I’m sure it would get some of us purged from voter rolls.

      • LucindathePook

        Jene??

        • NastyBossetti

          Nope! There’s another family like mine out there?

      • Jamoche

        My combination is also unusual, but there’s another person with the same name in SoCal. Even about the same age, and we use a spelling for part of it that girls didn’t get in the 60s.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Credit reports are a fucking joke – I got mine as part of a mortgage application a while back, and it had me living in San Diego at one point. I think I may have bought a burger and a beer there once, in the ’70s.

        Seriously, it’s worth getting your freebie report every now and then, just to see what bullshit they’ve tossed into it. There’s no penalty for errant bullshit, so their idea of “playing it safe” is to keep the garbage.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          They had me owning a home in California, and I’ve never even been in the state.

        • NastyBossetti

          Yeah, I once couldn’t even GET my report from one of the reporting agencies because one of the questions they used to make sure it was really me DIDN’T have a correct answer for me. “Which one of these addresses have you lived?” I chose none of the above, and they were like, “WRONG!” It was maddening.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So what happens when the Congress sez no, like Chaffdick already did?

    • mackafritz

      He’ll get some yahoo like kris kobach to head up some kind of investigation.

    • chicken thief

      NO FISHING!*

      * except for Hillary and other Dems

      ~ Jason Chaffdick

    • Doug Langley

      “You’re fired!”

  • Markuserektus

    Compare Donnie Moscow’s official portrait to others (recently Bamz’) then, if you want, mosey over to Vox for some pro critiques. Maybe draw you own conclusions. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b06c93365197c6ea697e96d37686351fcc7c9e97b23946aa1b9b9d7573f6f7ad.jpg

    • ltmcdies

      the guy always looks like he’s sitting on an inflamed hemorroid

      • jodyleek

        The guy looks like an inflammed hemorrhoid.
        FTFY

        • Lambsendbeds

          LOL – great minds blah blah blah!

          • suziq

            Now we know who types faster!

      • Lambsendbeds

        The guy always looks like an inflamed hemorrhoid.
        FIFY

    • Marion in Savannah

      My. Doesn’t he look happy…

      • Sister Artemis

        That’s his “I’m a serious guy!” look

      • Rick Hill

        Looks like it’s more “oh, shit. I’m in over my head” than “I’m tough!”

      • Historicat

        Doesn’t he look miserable? I hope it eats at him every second of every day.

    • mailman27

      Loaf-Pincher in Chief.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      I woke up at 3AM thinking, is there a tanning booth in the White House? Seriously, Donnie. Lose the pink eye circles. You look ridiculous.

    • kareemachan

      He looks like he’s holding back an enormous fart.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: for some reasons the news postings at WH.gov today have yesterday’s date on them.

    I know it’s trivial, but both my boss and my mother are big on attention to detail.

    Attention to detail people who are running our country!

    • Markuserektus

      Pffft…alternative facts.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Trump’s new Sec of Navy (who did spend ten years in the Army Reserve as a military intelligence officer)

      After 25 years, Mr. Bilden recently retired as a co-founding member and Senior Advisor of HarbourVest Partners, LLC, a leading global private equity investment management firm with institutional assets under management currently in excess of $42 billion.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        That reminds me of Francis P. Matthews, who Truman appointed as Secretary of the Navy in 1949. When asked about his utter lack of Navy experience (Matthews was a banker and had been a major Truman fundraiser in his 1948 campaign), Matthews admitted the only thing he knew about boats was that he had one (a rowboat) at his summer home.

      • Markuserektus

        A comment over at Military Times: Trump’s SECNAV pick… another Army guy whose only brush with the Navy is a spot on the Naval Academy Foundation Board of Directors. (One wonders why he got nominated for that?)
        Of course, he is an Army Intelligence Officer – as is the Russian-loving & Trump-whispering LTG (ret) Flynn – so you have to wonder if that is where this nomination originates.

      • Markuserektus

        Well…he’s got that look…white guy with slick hair.

      • OneYieldRegular

        He’ll be the Florence Foster Jenkins of the Armed Forces.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        HarbourVest are the supreme dicks who bought up houses on the cheap after their pals on Wall Street torpedoed the housing market, turned them into rental properties (often for the very people who had lost their homes), and who are now evicting about a quarter of their tenants.
        Filthy way to earn your billions – no wonder Il Douche likes him.

    • msanthropesmr

      What day is it in Moscow?

      • ViveLaRésistance

        Good point.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    My dad and I have the same first and last name, the same middle initial, and we were both born in the same month. This is…troubling.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      HE’S NOT YOUR REAL DAD!!1!

    • mailman27

      If you lived in the same locality and you both voted, that would be bigly voter fraud. Lock ’em up, lock ’em up!!11!!!!1!!!!!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: Well at least trump declared federal disaster aid to four counties in Mississippi.

    • Anna Rompage

      Just wait until his contractor buddies show up to do the work….

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Only if they get cash, up front.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          And you’ll never see them again.

    • Bill D. Burger

      He finally noticed they needed help? Amazing. They were his staunchest and most ignorant supporters and he ignored them for days.
      Gawwd help anyone who didn’t support him.

      Help was probably contingent on their fawning over his record setting inauguration crowd and find the 3-5 million illegal voters, both of which don’t exist!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I haven’t been following the news of it closely, but doesn’t Georgia need some help too?

        • ViveLaRésistance

          Yes. They had tornados and people died in GA.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Trump will get around to it next week. He’s a busy man.

          • kareemachan

            Watching TV according to the interwebs.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Too bad the aid takes the form of 2-for-1 entree coupons at the Trump Tower Grill.

    • chicken thief

      Which redneck state is Sessions from again? MS, GA, or AL?

      Edit: Never mind. I looked it up – AL

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        What can you expect from a state where Judge Roy Moore could become Chief Justice?

  • Martini Ambassador

    So, here she what’s probably going on. Illegal immigrants, who mostly work in jobs like construction or janitorial services or farm laborers (because less likely to need a SSN for those things), are moving all over the country to enjoy their swanky vacation estates, as one does when not picking strawberries, and registering to vote in each of those places, because that’s a top priority for them. Then, on Election Day, they fly to all of these places where they are registered so that they may cast their illegal votes for the Demo-rats in each region. It’s expensive, but those guys are committed to subverting our democracy.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Seems like it would be more practical to just use all those crisis actors. Those people are everywhere!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Three million of ’em, is what I read on the internet.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Expect Alex Jones to repeat that verbatim by next week.

      • Keith Taylor

        I used to think Alex Jones was demented. Now I think he’s totally cynical and without a trace of morality or concern for fact, but not crazy. I think his spectacular looniness is largely an act.

        • Alternative Pony Ron

          I’ve been wondering about that myself lately. He’s TOO loony. And the side business is too nicely calculated to appeal to his loony audience.

    • Scrofula

      Those aren’t chemtrails, it’s carne asada smoke billowing out their private jets.

      • kareemachan

        Damn, that’s some asada….

        • Scrofula

          Should be several pork al pastor, true.

    • OneYieldRegular

      You forgot “…all funded by George Soros and the Clinton Foundation,” but otherwise nailed it.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      I know, that’s why they’ve fled here, desperately, endangering their lives to come here, so they can subvert their one big hope and opportunity!

      • Keith Taylor

        The logic is unassailable. Mr. Spock couldn’t fault it.

  • chicken thief

    “If your name is Washington, there’s an 89
    percent chance you’re African-American. If your last name is Hernandez,
    there’s a 94 percent chance you’re Hispanic. If your name is Kim,
    there’s a 95 percent chance you’re Asian.”

    And if your name is ‘Donald Trump’ there is a 100% chance that you are a lying misogynist ego-maniac.

    • DainBramage

      That got me thinking. What if there is some nice, normal person out there with the same name as Donnie the Delusionist? That would seriously suck.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    This is not about voter fraud. This is all about purging minorities and Democratic-leaning constituencies in general off the voting rolls. Let’s not get distracted trying to correct Donald on the “registered in two states” bullshit. That ain’t it. Don’t fall for it.

  • IOnlyLikeCats
  • Christina

    In pursuit of “voter fraud”…. Here comes the next Select Investigative Panel…on Widespread Voter Fraud Specifically Benefitting the Democratic Party? Just like SIP on Infant Lives: left wing criminal activities discovered and stopped, and money well spent! what with all the extra money we have now that Mexico is totally gonna pay for that wall….

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Like I am gonna vote again using my dead dad’s name and risk 5 yrs and a 10k fine, cuz 1 more Dem vote will make a difference in my district of 200k voters or 2m statewide.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      To the mind of a Trumpazoid, that makes perfect sense because George Soros is paying all your legal bills.

      • Keith Taylor

        And some nice Facebook acquaintances of mine in the United States are really irked about that, because George Soros hasn’t paid THEM off and they want their share of his gigantic bribes.

      • kareemachan

        Damnit, I didn’t get paid!!1!! George, when you gonna shell out some moolah for ME?

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          IK, R?

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I dunno what Trump is bitching about, he himself is registered to vote in New York and Moscow…

  • Tom Krueger

    I want to know when the NORTHERN border wall will be built. No one (and I mean no one) is talking about the illegal immigration of beavers, errant mooseseses or the ease at which terrorists sneak across our border disguised as Canadian Mounties. If Trump doesn’t get on top this soon, it will ruin our great nation and we’ll all become a bunch of Molson drinking hockey fans, eh?

    • chicken thief

      “… beavers, errant mooseseses…”

      If it will keep the Palin’s out I say $25B is money well spent.

    • mardam422

      Tell Trump a story about it. Problem solved.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      I welcome our Canadian overlords.

    • Tacoclamgenda

      I once met a Canadian Mounty I wanted to get on top of.

      • Jamoche

        Benton Fraser?

        • kareemachan

          “When I’m calling you, double-o, double-o
          And you answer true double-o, double-o
          That’s when I ask you to pour me a brew.
          You pour one for me, I’ll pour one for youuuuuuuu!”

          And kudos to some really fun ads. To watch Mickey Rooney pour a beer down the cleavage of his co-star.

          And she didn’t blink.

          And yes, I know that’s not what they were singing in the ad. Rainer had some DAMNED good ad writers in those days.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifIEsDJnnVs

    • OrdinaryJoe

      It’s only somewhat funny. All the 9-11 killers came in through Oh Canada.

      • Tom Krueger

        Yeah, I know…but the absurdity (not to mention bald-faced racism) that Trump is displaying by focusing only on the brown people down South called for some satire and levity. If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Isn’t meese the plural for moose. Called familiarly edwins?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      We’re in good hands!
      Grabbing beavers unannounced is Trump’s specialty, you know.

    • handyhippie65

      hey hoser, what are you talking aboot willard? take off to the great white north!

    • kareemachan

      I heart mooseseses.

    • Keith Taylor

      My God, it might too. Can’t imagine why I didn’t think of a northern border wall myself. I must be ridiculously soft on Canadians, what with being Australian and thus part of a British Commonwealth country like theirs … and when is your President going to protect you from the Australians too, by building a huge beautiful border wall right across the middle of the Pacific? Some of us Australians are radicals too. THAT WALL IS NEEDED. And he could make Nauru or Fiji pay for it.

      • Tom Krueger

        I think you just sealed your fate and the fate of your country persons by making such a flippant suggestion. I shall recommend to Herr Drumpf (via Twitter of course) that we do indeed need such a wall and that all the Aussie’s need to remunerate us for it as it will most certainly protect all ‘Mericans from your radical ilk, Sydney Funnel Web spiders, angry, jogger-beating kangaroos while virtually eliminating all Vegemite imports into our country.

  • JD Mulvey

    I’m sure James Comey will get right on this very important investigation. He may have to put that whole Russian election interference thing on the back burner for a while.

    • Mike Steele

      Squirrel on steroids…

    • Doug Langley

      What?! Ignore the Russian hacking investigation? That dedicated man?

  • Rick Hill

    And, yet, the donnie today signed another execetive order to investigate!!. Anyone have a pool on how many execetive orders he signs?

    • NastyBossetti

      He seems to think an executive order is a royal decree and that he’s getting tons of shit done just by signing his name to a bunch of things.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Donnie thinks signing an order makes a problem simply disappear.

        People don’t want to have other people coming in and destroying their country and you know in this country we’re gonna go very strong borders from the day I get in. One of the first orders I’m gonna sign – day one – which I will consider to be Monday as opposed to Friday or Saturday. Right? I mean my day one is gonna be Monday because I don’t want to be signing and get it mixed up with lots of celebration, but one of the first orders we’re gonna be signing is gonna be strong borders.

        Remarkable. All you have to do to have “strong borders” is to sign something? That’s it? I can’t imagine why nobody did this before. I mean, it seems so easy! You sign something (what do you sign? Details, details!) and the problem goes away. Nobody ever hit upon this simple solution. Just sign something. Sheer genius.

        • NastyBossetti

          He’s, like, a very smart person, with a very big brain. So of course no one else could have come up with this genius plan before!

        • Yellow_Dog_Dem

          He’s only used to working M-F (seriously, who are we kidding) – Gonna be pissed when they interrupt his weekend with some crisis of some sort.

          • handyhippie65

            delegation is the key. the buck stops down the hall, to the right.

          • kareemachan

            “Sir, the peasants are revolting!”

            “They certainly are. Now shut up and let me get back to LA Hair.”

        • clairence

          he made a point of sayin “radical islamic terrorism” when he spoke to the CIA, so I guess all our problems have been solved. And it’s not even Friday yet!

      • clairence

        that’s what presidents do: sign things.

      • Jamoche

        I got the popcorn for when the pushback starts.

      • handyhippie65

        he seems to forget, we have leaders, not rulers. not that he would understand the difference.

      • Keith Taylor

        He sure does.

    • clairence

      reports were that his staff was working on over 200, with questions as to how many he’d sign on day one.

    • Keith Taylor

      I wonder if he even knows that when the President signs an executive order, it doesn’t automatically become law of the land or a constitutional amendment either.

  • Randy Riddle

    Who needs voting when we have GREAT AND GLORIOUS PATRIOTIC DEAR LEADER OF LARGE HANDS to guide us?

    • Rick Hill

      That will be his ultimate solution….

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        not his final solution?

    • Me The People

      In a couple of years, school children will be made to sing about how gloriously huge those hands are.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Mao Tsetrump?

  • Rick Hill

    So….since there are so many republicans popping up, can we expect a lot of them to be purged?

    • Randy Riddle

      I feel like puking when I hear them talk – is that sort of like purging?

    • Tacoclamgenda

      If they’re popping up like moles should they be whacked? With votes, of course.

  • gene108

    This is just an excuse to ram through more voter suppression laws.

    It’s bullshit on the face of it, but who is going to stop Trump demanding his DoJ investigate?

    Bush & Co. fired attorneys, who refused to fudge their findings of no voter fraud.

    I expect the pressure to be much worse this time.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Deleted a bunch of emails too. Which was obstruction of justice. Remember all the chants of “Lock them up!”?

      Yeah, me either.

      • TJ Barke

        IOKIYAR

        • kareemachan

          Specially if you’re a heartless bastard like Cheney the Dick.

  • Poly_Ester

    Impeach!

    • whitroth

      As I was telling folks at the March, “Save time, impeach now!”

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    A friend of mine is working on a GoFundMe to pay for this very wall (this is not a joke)

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’d find better friends.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I dunno, a wall around the Trumps sounds awesome to me. This is waht he’s jokingly raising money for.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Aahh…now that’s a wall of a different color.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Gunna need bigger bitcoin account.

    • kareemachan

      LINK!!!

  • Mavenmaven

    Only card carrying, clearly identified, registered Trump supporters will be allowed to vote in future elections.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    The trump crime wave contines. Oh the stoopidity.

    • Keith Taylor

      “Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.”

  • bookish

    Kellyanne does it for money.

    http://nbcnews.to/2jAQHoE

    • kareemachan

      You know, scientific studies have proven that conservative lies age one abnormally quickly.

      Kellyannbob is proof of this.

  • DahBoner

    Let’s move on to what really matters….
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/gtJKKa3I3yJsA/200_d.gif#48
    Like what is Trump pulling out of his ass today?

  • Sekhmet1

    Oh dear, Drumpf – how embarrassment!

    So I live in a much smaller country with a federated parliamentary system, and maybe the size of the US would this make less practical, but a version of an independent national Electoral Commission like we have (which, along with its State and Territory subsidiaries, runs federal elections, draws electorate boundaries and manages the electoral rolls – they all use the same data so once you’re on the federal electoral roll you’re also registered for state and local elections automatically) might go a long way to solve this and avoid gerrymandering to boot. When I moved to a different suburb, it triggered a postcard from the AEC reminding me to update my address on the roll (I think they regularly cross-reference it with – as soon as I did that, my old registered address was expunged. I think it’s just about impossible to be registered in two different states here. But if you don’t update – when I was a student and moving each year, I stayed registered at Dad’s address and voted in that electorate for instance – or forget to vote, they won’t kick you off (though it’s compulsory to vote, we get fined a token amount if we don’t, unless you have a good reason like you were overseas and couldn’t get to a consulate in time, or physically couldn’t get to a polling place due to disability etc).

    • Beanz&Berryz

      But this would make it harder for all the Red States to rat-fuck Blue Voters, so it would never work here…

      • Sekhmet1

        True that. And they actually talk with a straight face about “democracy” and “the people” and “free and fair election of [Drumpf]”.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          It really is disheartening…

    • Historicat

      Voting systems in this country are a mess. Honestly, a lot of this should have been addressed after the 2000 debacle but it would take a major effort by Republicans who value the integrity of our elections to make it happen. Too bad all of them have retired or died.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Congress passed the Help America Vote Act (HAVA) which sent money to the states to be distributed to the counties to use where they had a need. The Secretary of State in my state used it to make an informational video on voting, featuring himself explaining everything, while he was running for Governor. Nothing like taxpayer-funded campaign commercials.

    • handyhippie65

      a law making voting mandatory has been proposed more than once. it’s always shot down by republicans. if everyone had to vote, they would never win again. eliminating votes is their goal, not increasing them.

      • Keith Taylor

        I believe that completely.

    • Keith Taylor

      Independent electoral commission? Friend, bite your tongue. Only sane people think that is a good idea. Donald Trump wants electoral officials who do exactly what he says, and believe whatever he says, preferably.
      I have just carried out the imaginative exercise of picturing how the right would have reacted if Barack Obama had tried to institute such a national commission.
      “Slavery!”
      “Evil Kenyan’s Next Step to Establish Dictatorship!”
      “Resist Socialist Commie Obama!”
      “Impeach!”
      I’m not even a U.S. citizen and I so miss that moderate, rational man and his gracious classy First Lady.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So the Russian Puppet’s transition team of alleged “humans”… just wanted to put “humans” in scare quotes like they do on Fox to see what it looked like. “VOTER FRAUD”.

  • Ray in VT

    Surely the President would not surround himself with those whom he has identified as engaging in some sort of fraud. I mean what with his sterling record and all.

    • handyhippie65

      he’s not even the tarnish on sterling.

  • Khavrinen

    “To End Vote Fraud, Donald Trump Must Build Wall Around His Family, Staff”

    Personally, I’m OK with that solution to the problem. How tall is the Burj Khalifa again?

    [ In Patricia McKillip’s “Riddle-Master” trilogy, there’s a story about a man who offends a powerful wizard. In a panic, he hires a man to build an impregnable wall around his castle to protect himself. When the wall is done, and he’s had a while to calm down, he goes out intending to ask around to see if the wizard is still mad at him, and discovers that

    there are not doors or openings at all in the wall, and realizes that the man who built the wall was the wizard himself, and he is trapped there.

    Maybe Trump could hire some Messicans to build his wall? ]

    • Marla

      Chinese and Russian labor. Trump will soon give them Texas. Which I’m okay with

      • Khavrinen

        Texas? Given Putin’s actions, it seems more likely they’ll ask for Alaska back. ( More oil than Texas, not to mention all the other resources to pillage. )

        • Lefty Wright

          Trump is already negotiating that in return for a few acres of prime land on Red Square in Moscow.

        • Verena Block

          As long as the Russians take the Palins, I’m good with it.

        • Khavrinen

          Belated thought:
          Trump’s such a great real estate business-man, he’ll finally convince Russia to buy back “Seward’s Folly”, and for the same price, too! ( UN-adjusted for 150 years of inflation, but you can’t have everything… )

        • wavicles

          He can see Palin’s house from Russia.

    • Jamoche

      Discworld’s Death told a story about a wizard who built a magical container that he thought would keep Death out. Turned out it kept air out too.

    • handyhippie65

      riddle master of hed. i read that in the 80’s. all of them actually. that is the only title i remember, though.

      • kareemachan

        ‘Heir of Sea and Fire’
        ‘Harpist in the Wind’

        Gawds, I’m a fantasy nerd. I have all the books too.

        And horror. I collect Arkham House books and catalogs.

        And books on book-collecting.

        As I said, nerd.

        • handyhippie65

          them’s the ones. and the entire discworld series. and all of tolkien, even the silmarillion. and piers anthony, and on and on and on. haven’t you heard, nerds are cool now. we can wear our nerd glasses with pride! also cause we can’t see for shit without them.

    • kareemachan

      Upticked for mentioning one of my all-time favorite authors!

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    The report’s title ought to be “If I Did It: Election Fraud” by Donald J. Trump.

  • Lefty Wright

    It appears that Trump spokespeople are using the wrong study to justify their claim of 3 to 5 million illegal votes. In addition, the co author of the study it appears is the basis for their claim does not support their numbers, even though that study was itself debunked as being overgenerous in it’s claims.

    http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2017/jan/25/sean-spicer/sean-spicer-wrongly-uses-pew-study-bolster-claim-n/
    https://fs.wp.odu.edu/jrichman/2016/11/28/is-it-plausible-that-non-citizen-votes-account-for-the-entire-margin-of-trumps-popular-vote-loss-to-clinton/

  • netanil

    The real problem with having an ignorant fucking moron for president is that you have an ignorant fucking moron for president.

    • Thasmwm

      Can when get an “amen.” Lol, I just wanted to say that once, since I always get ridiculous FB posts requesting such. And, yes I agree, he is a stupid moron.

    • handyhippie65

      it’s one of them self fulfilling whachamacalits. or,as i like to call them circle derps. just don’t stand in the center of the circle. derp always leaves a stain.

  • SC

    great reporting!

  • Keith Taylor

    Oh, absolutely. There is no way the GOP would ever do something so careless and slipshod, that favours them, and disadvantages the wrong sort of voters.
    Makes me think of the scene in one of the Harry Potter movies, the scene in which snide bastard Draco Malfoy warns Harry off the Weasleys. “You don’t want to associate with the wrong sort.” Harry answers politely, “Thanks. I think I can pick the wrong sort for myself.”
    You are so right, I mean, the clumsiest voter fraud possible, and the most certain to be caught, would be organizing a few million people at the bottom of the pyramid to vote multiple times (if you could even do it). And if it happened, how come the Crosscheck system, which was adopted by a couple of dozen states, maybe more, I haven’t looked up lately exactly how many got on board with it, has not resulted in ONE conviction among all those fraudster voters, unless (I know this is outrageous irresponsible speculation) there really aren’t any?
    I mean, not indicting, trying and convicting even one, when it’s a felony that carries jail time, has to mean something.
    I would think.
    When you want to rig an election effectively, and not get caught, at least until you have a fait accompli, you need the electoral officials to help, and you need a pretext that at least looks legitimate. When it comes to those, the Republicans, like Jimmy Durante, have a million of ’em.

    • kareemachan

      And untrustworthy voting machines.

      • Keith Taylor

        And untrustworthy voting machines. Which it is always a good idea to install in the poorer areas. I believe it’s a matter of confirmable fact that they did this.

  • I want them to investigate the election. Every vote. Re count them ALL.
    Every single one of them.
    They will have to have a bipartisan commitee and the press- AND social media- will be watching it like a hawk.
    Go ahead, Republicans, recount it all.

    • javadavis

      Heck, yes! No paper trail because of using those dumb Diebolds to vote? I guess we’ll have to throw that precinct out of the vote total.
      Too bad they waited until now to do this, it could make counting up the votes and finding that the people installed were not actually elected SO much more complicated to deal with.

  • kareemachan

    My deceased father was chosen to be on jury duty THREE times before they did whatever they did to not choose him any more. If he has to have post-mortem jury duty, I think he should have been able to vote as well.

    Edit: This was in Portland, OR, btw. Not exactly a podunk little village… I really wanted to take his ashes in front of the judge to see if he’d get on the jury, but my SO talking me out of it.

    Sometimes he’s no fun….

    PS – Love you, Dad. He would have thought this was a GREAT idea!

    • Zyxomma

      I too think it a great idea. Bring the ashes before the judge!!

  • pianoplayer1

    What is wrong with Steve Bannon’s face?

    • Amalga

      Gin flowers and puffiness which makes me wonder if he has a little alcohol induced heart condition going on.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Everything. Why?

  • David Chaillou

    Here in France when you move to a new place and register to vote they automatically notify your previous polling station. Just why this can’t be done in America is beyond me. Oh, and they give you a voter card that you must show when you vote. If you don’t have your card you can use your ID. And nobody thinks that this somehow is discriminatory – having an ID card with you at all times is mandatory anyway.

    • ExecutorElassus

      Ah, but see, here’s the rub: in the US, these measures are in place as *obstacles* to voting, specifically voting by minorities. See, there is no kind of universal photo ID here that’s easily and automatically issued. The closest you get is a driver’s license, and for that you have to take a whole day off to go to the Dept. of Motor Vehicles (something working-class people can’t afford to do, especially if they don’t actually drive) and which often (again, deliberately) requires a bunch of *other* documentation that poor, working-class, rural, and minority people often don’t have.
      If photo IDs were easily obtainable by anybody, I’d have no objection to requiring them to vote. But that’s not why these requirements are in place: they’re here specifically to drive minorities away from voting, ensuring that Republicans stay in power.
      I’ll give you a pass for asking a question that is almost always used to circumvent discussion of the issue at hand because you aren’t in the US, but next time google “US photo ID voting” and read all the stories about how these measures are put in place specifically to suppress votes by the Wrong Kind of People (ie, minorities).
      Protip: if something about American society seems weird and irrational, the explanation is almost always “because America is racist as fuck.”

      • David Chaillou

        When a country has been a wealthy democracy for over 2 centuries, and still hasn’t found a way to make voter registration both simple and foolproof, the issue clearly isn’t the lack of solutions.

        • GRH

          If I were a right-winger I would chime in with…
          But we aren’t a democracy – we’re a REPUBLIC !!!!

          • David Chaillou

            Which I always think is dumb bullshit, you are both. A non-democratic republic is something where “we the people” do not participate in the process, eg the italian city-states of the middle ages. I’m hard put to imagine what a non-republican democracy looks like. Smart talking points in the hands of the uneducated have a tendency to backfire.

  • Jukesgrrl

    My poor Grandma about stroked out when a process server showed up at her door one day. He was there to serve my Grandpap, who had died about five years previous to this. What was his crime? Failed to show up for jury duty in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, where apparently zombie grandfathers are allowed to serve at trial. How did this happen? After he died, no one had bothered to inform the board of elections, where they get potential jurors. He died in Allegheny County, so in this era of electronic magick, you’d think it wouldn’t be too hard to cross reference death certificates issued with the voter rolls, but nooooooo. I wonder how many times that process server got paid to travel to someone’s last known address only to find out they actually lived at the cemetery.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I worked over thirty years in a state secretary of state’s office. If you want to determine if the Secretary of State is involved in election rigging, just check if there’s an R after the official’s name. That usually clinches it.

  • DahBoner

    Hello Forest Gump Americans…

    We are from your new leaders! We are not voter fraud.

    We are FSB (ФСБ).

    Is a state security organisation in Russia. Is the organisation that came after the KGB.

    We are busy. Watching you, videotaping you, phone tapping you, hacking into e-mails you, many things you.

    Have a great day!
    https://media0.giphy.com/media/JjLylCKqqQs5q/200_d.gif#9

  • GRH

    The first time I registered to vote (Demonkratic) a few months later I got a letter from the RNC…I mentioned the letter to a friend who told me that they probably sent it to me because if it was returned to them (return to sender) then they would know someone was trying to register Demonkratic in my name.
    I mailed the letter back with a few of my thoughts about the RNC.

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