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donald trump at the cia speech

On Saturday, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer claimed that President Trump’s recent speech to the CIA earned his boss “a five-minute standing ovation at the end in a display of their patriotism and their enthusiasm for his presidency.”

Here are some of the incredibly moving things that President Trump said in this speech, which earned him a five minute standing ovation, according to Sean Spicer:

“[P]robably almost everybody in this room voted for me, but I will not ask you to raise your hands if you did. But I would guarantee a big portion, because we’re all on the same wavelength, folks. We’re all on the same wavelength, right? He knows. It took Brian about 30 seconds to figure that one out, right, because we know we’re on the same wavelength.”

And:

“And Reince and my whole group. Reince — you know — they don’t care about Reince. He’s like this political guy that turned out to be a superstar, right? We don’t have to talk about Reince.

But we did — we had such a tremendous, tremendous success. So when I’m interviewing all of these candidates that Reince and his whole group is putting in front, it went very, very quickly, and, in this case, went so quickly — because I would see six or seven or eight for Secretary of Agriculture, who we just named the other day, Sonny Perdue, former governor of Georgia. Fantastic guy. But I’d see six, seven, eight people for a certain position. Everybody wanted it.”

And:

“I had an uncle who was a great professor at MIT for 35 years who did a fantastic job in so many different ways, academically — was an academic genius — and then they say, is Donald Trump an intellectual? Trust me, I’m like a smart persona. And I recognized immediately.

And:

“You know, when I was young and when I was — of course, I feel young. I feel like I’m 30, 35, 39. Somebody said, are you young? I said, I think I’m young. You know, I was stopping — when we were in the final month of that campaign, four stops, five stops, seven stops. Speeches, speeches, in front of 25,000, 30,000 people, 15,000, 19,000 from stop to stop. I feel young.”

And:

“And the reason you’re my first stop is that, as you know, I have a running war with the media. They are among the most dishonest human beings on Earth. And they sort of made it sound like I had a feud with the intelligence community. And I just want to let you know, the reason you’re the number-one stop is exactly the opposite — exactly. And they understand that, too.

And I was explaining about the numbers. We did a thing yesterday at the speech. Did everybody like the speech? I’ve been given good reviews. But we had a massive field of people. You saw them. Packed. I get up this morning, I turn on one of the networks, and they show an empty field. I say, wait a minute, I made a speech. I looked out, the field was — it looked like a million, million and a half people. They showed a field where there were practically nobody standing there. And they said, Donald Trump did not draw well. I said, it was almost raining, the rain should have scared them away, but God looked down and he said, we’re not going to let it rain on your speech.”

And that is but a small selection of the purportedly potent pathos overflowing from these remarks, which, again, Sean Spicer is claiming moved a room full of CIA and (allegedly) Trump lackeys brought in to cheer and clap for him to do so for a full five minutes following the conclusion of Trump’s remarks.

To help you determine for yourself the plausibility of this claim, yr Wonkette created this helpful multimedia visualization of a five minute standing ovation:

Our view is that it’s clearly plausible, because look at that video ^^^ It’s of a person giving a standing ovation for five minutes. That proves it could happen. Interested to hear your thoughts, though.

[ transcript @POLITICO / transcript @CBSNews / TPM ]

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  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I believe he wrote that. My eyes hurt.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Does Mitch McConnell dry humping his leg for five minutes count as an ovation?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    These guys are smart, Donald. They’re not like the doofii at your rallies. They understood that you packed the first three rows with doofii. It takes a far more clever person than you to fool them, even for a minute. You’re out of your element, Donny.

  • Bdupa

    If Abe Lincoln had to read that speech, he’d immediately subscribe to the whole season at the Ford’s Theater just to be sure.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      “No! Don’t cast John Wilkes Booth! He has other, uh, better things to do”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “It’s all wrong! Jimmy Stewart for governor, Ronald Reagan for best friend!”

    • clubseal

      I give this comment a five minute standing ovation.

  • CatCafe de la Resistance

    I don’t see how anyone can listen to his pathetic drivel and not be deeply, deeply concerned about his grotesque immaturity, pathological narcissism, and plain lack of mental acuity.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Word for word, it was on the prompter. I swear!….

  • MynameisBlarney

    Can anyone give the name of that article about not being able to forgive trumps voters?
    Or link it.
    My google fu seems to be lacking.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    For somebody who has such tiny hands, I am constantly surprised by his ability to step on his own dick over and over.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    He’s “like” a smart person, in that both have bones, skin, and viscera.

    • TundraGrifter

      And a brain. The difference is smart people use theirs and people “like” smart people don’t.

      Second point – the Right wing nutz’ gasbags have to often remind us how smart they are (Boss BlunderRush, Off-the-Mark Levine, The Silly Savage, et. al). Intelligent people don’t have to say it – they just prove it.

    • Creepoman

      The skin may only be an angstrom thick, but I’ll concede that it is skin nonetheless.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Last week Trump said ISIS was “number-one tricky.” Saturday Trump called the CIA his “number-one stop.” Sunday he called Melania his “number-one supporter.” Call me crazy, but he seems unusually obsessed with “number-one.”

  • Lizzietish81

    WAs that the meeting where he had people brought in to cheer him on?

    • OneYieldRegular

      Yes, and that was also his first press conference as President-Elect.

    • Scrofula

      Even Spicer admitted that. “At least ten or so . . . why is the relevant?”
      He didn’t say it was to cheer, but at least ten were NOT CIA employees.

    • FlownOver

      The meeting? When did he not?

  • TundraGrifter

    I didn’t bother to count, but I’ll still bet he said one “I” for every star on that wall behind him.

    I am still amused he would lie to the one group in DC that can be very sure of the facts.

    • Sandy Beaches

      Remember when right wingers’ heads got all ‘splody because of how much Obama used the word “I” in his speeches? Ah, yes. Good times, folks. Good times.

  • Jennifer R

    Fun Fact Time!

    When the president is addressing a group like the CIA, they stand when he enters and continue to stand until told to sit. Guess what deadbeat donnie never did.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Hell, when I was in the Army, and the CG walked into a staff briefing, everyone stood, and the CG IMMEDIATELY asked everyone to sit down again.

      I might add that one time the CG was held up by a call from the Pentagon, and was late by 20 minutes. He then apologized profusely for being late, for wasting our time and by implication the money of the taxpayers (no one in the room was lower than O-3), but that it couldn’t be helped. A gracious man at all times, mindful of the weight his position put on his shoulders.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • OneYieldRegular

      “J’ACCUSE!”

  • LarryHoudini

    I’m sure when the heads of the CIA heard all that cheering and applause from their “staff,” they thought Hmm, if they are nuts about him, I guess I should be too, instead of Hmm, it shouldn’t be too hard to find enough dirt on this goober and then leak it to get him the fuck out of office.

  • TundraGrifter

    If Wayne Newton didn’t get a standing O for his Vegas act he would always make his encore number “God Bless America.”

    • clubseal

      Blech.

      I’d stand up, alright, in order to leave.

  • Ezio Auditore

    Donald Trump doesn’t like intelligence agencies? Who would have known!

    • FlownOver

      Donald Trump doesn’t like intelligence agencies? Who would have known!

      Duly repaired. You’re welcome.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Trump falsely claimed he was on the cover of Time Magazine 15 times and that this achievement was a record that would probably not be broken.

    He was on the cover 11 times.

    Nixon was on the cover 55 times.

    Which brings me to “how he can break Nixon’s record…”.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Let’s hope the leaves office part is much, much shorter than Nixon’s.

    • coozledad

      For starters, he could try and fuck for more than 45 seconds.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’m not crazy about Melania either, but there’s no reason to punish her just because we’re mad about a thing.

        • coozledad

          You’re right. And I wouldn’t wish it on pee hookers either.

    • GuidedAccordingly

      Think that tiny hands mind would be blown by this statistic from Time itself, “Hillary Clinton has outpaced all other women, earning 19 covers as of Oct. 2013”

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I like that. From your mouth to god’s ear.

    • FlownOver

      “You could get a million dollars. I know where you could get it. You could get it from the poorly educated.”

  • beingreleased
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      That part about “imagine someone doing stand up at Arlington” is what got me the most. How disrespectful!

    • Fuck me. The rant in paragraphs for easier reading

      I am going to try to explain why there is so much outrage in the intelligence agencies about what Trump did on Saturday in his CIA speech. Imagine having a campaign rally at the National Cemetery. Or a cocktail fundraiser amid the grave markers of US soldiers in Normandy. This “event” Trump held, purportedly to greet CIA employees, was in the Memorial Wall room, where 117 CIA employees who died in service to our country are honored. Many more have died, and it takes special approval to receive a star on the wall or be listed in the book, called the Book of Honor. Many of the names of the fallen will never be known, because their identities have to be kept secret even in death.

      Rarely is that room used for anything, but when it is, solemn nature of it is recognized. GW Bush was, I believe the first president to hold an event there in 2001, but it was exceedingly respectful and in keeping with the meaning of the room. The second major event was an appearance by Obama after the killing of Bin Laden, when he went to the CIA to thank the ppl there for their often anonymous sacrifices that led to that success in the fight against terrorism. Again, solemn and fitting with the meaning of the room. Both Bush and Obama paid deep homage to those honored in the book and by the stars. CIA employees listened respectfully, but did not turn the events into rallies.

      Then, Trump.

      He has the audacity to bring people from his team to cheer for him and sit in the front rows. I can’t imagine CIA employees cheering and whooping it up at Memorial Wall. It would be like screaming “BOO-yah!” at a funeral . Trump made a single, over-the-shoulder mention of the stars. But he spent most of his time griping about the media, bragging about the number of times he had been on the cover of Time Magazine, and complaining that everyone was lying about numbers at his inauguration and all the while, his professional cheerleaders who couldn’t find their way to the CIA bathroom are sitting there, cheering for the many who apparently needs applause everywhere he goes.

      It was an abomination, perhaps the most disrespectful thing I have ever seen done by any president in that kind of place.

      I felt sure we would hear from former director Brennan pretty fast. Why? Because one of those stars on the wall belongs to a close friend of his who died in service of this country. And he knows who all the others are as well. For him, I’m sure, it was like watching someone having a picnic on the graves in the National Cemetery.

      And then the same Trump staff that was too lazy or stupid to do the advance work on the CIA trip, so that they knew the meaning of the wall, go on TV to attack Brennan as a partisan hack for wanting a room of such enormous meaning to be treated with the solemnity it deserves. And that is an important element here. I actually don’t blame Trump for this horror show on Saturday. Few people outside of govmt know the meaning of the wall. That was his staff’s job, and they clearly had no idea what they were sending Trump to do. No sane person would agree to send a cheering squad. They are incompetent. Worse, they are arrogant, and respond to others pointing out their undeniable errors by attacking and whining. No, anger at the dishonoring of patriots who died is not partisan. U don’t want criticism? Do your jobs better and when u screw up, like u did by turning most solemn place in intel world as a rah-rah location, just admit it, apologize, and move on.

      Kurt Eichenwald

      • beingreleased

        Thank you. I posted this yesterday also and said that twitter was a terrible medium for it. I didn’t see it as an actual essay.

      • Rags

        Thanks for this. However, I think he gives djt a bit too much of a pass. ANY person of reasonable sensitivity and intelligence who is not pathologically narcissistic would take one look at the room, realize its import and modify their remarks to suit. Disgraceful.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Eichenwald nails what is wrong with this obscene excuse for an administration.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    He’s certainly getting a standing “O” from corporate America – now that he’s muzzled the USDA, the National Park Service, and the EPA.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Nevermind the “standing O” was because he never let them sit down & he planted the audience with supporters. Now, where have I seen that before? Hmm…oh yeah…Russia.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There’s a story that the first person to stop applauding Stalin after about five minutes of a standing ovation was later taken out and shot.

  • dslindc

    There is only one person in that video. I like videos with more than one person. Weak. SAD!

    • Michael R

      Trump sees 1.5 million.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Is there any actual footage of the applause? Because all I saw was Trump’s close up with the clapping coming from somewhere off camera.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      There would only be footage facing Donald, if any. CIA operatives in the crowd couldn’t afford to be on camera. It’s for their protection we don’t have footage of the crowd.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      From what I read, there seemed to be one person that would start clapping and then others would start.

      HuffPo broke it down. It’s psychological warfare – if you hear someone clapping, you start to think there must be something going on you should clap for. Then you start clapping. Then everyone starts clapping, even though no one knows why they’re clapping.

      • Shucky Ducky

        Just like the audience at a Broadway musical!

      • Vecchioivan

        *Golf clap*

      • o’look Skwerl!

        It was members of his administration in the background.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It works in reverse, too. I noticed this phenom years ago, and I hate clapping because I have rheumatoid arthritis, so now I stop clapping pretty fast, and everyone around me stops clapping, and it spreads.

  • beingreleased
    • JH Marx, Resister

      Max, you’re over estimating drumpf.

  • Ezio Auditore

    Wasn’t he just ranting about how you shouldn’t trust the CIA a few months ago? Talk about a mood swing, Donny.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      That CIA was the Culinary Institute of America, of course. Can’t trust those sneaky sauciers,

  • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

    Trump reversed Keystone pipeline decision and signed an EO requiring only american made pipes for pipelines in US.

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      Please note that there is already a requirement for federal projects to use American steel.

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        From the Redundancy Department of Redundancy the desk of the Precedent of the YOOOnited States…

        • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

          Well, they only like regulations when they make them.

          • cmd resistor

            So he met with Ford, GM and Fiat today, and “vowed to cut regulations and taxes to make it more attractive for businesses to operate.” (Reuters). Of course, not details, but the article makes it sound like if auto companies agree, it would be in exchange for cutting back on the fuel efficiency requirements, or slowing them down. What a surprise.

          • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

            That’s not going to stop electric cars from catching up.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Are these federal projects or private projects requiring federal approval, easements etc?

        • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

          Federally funded projects which would include local municipal public works projects.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            These are privately owned pipelines. There are some easements for the use of federal land.

          • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

            OK? Are you defending his move?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            No, I’m opposed to these pipelines.

            I’m just saying I’m not sure that the existing law applied anyway. That would go along with the above commenter who says he merely “suggested” the use of American steel, because he doesn’t have the authority to require it.

            I didn’t mean to make this into an annoying nitpick, if it turned into that, I apologize.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            It’s not annoying, this could be important info, thanks.

          • FlownOver

            “Annoying nitpick” (which this isn’t): see Department of Redundancy Department

          • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

            No, I don’t think the existing law applies to an oil pipeline but one has to wonder why international pipeline companies would follow a suggestion to use pipes sourced in a specific country when that could lead to increased construction costs. Especially when they balk at changing the pipeline alignment for the same economic reasons. My point was that Trump’s declaration was for show and not meant to be followed. Even the “Buy American” requirement placed on local projects has a loophole for contractors who can’t find American products.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Yes, the “suggestion” is pure PR with no real impact, for sure.

          • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

            I really don’t like Trump. And I usually like everyone. He just gives me a bad feeling that I can’t quite put my finger on.

          • FlownOver

            Also now required to use only American lead in water systems. None of that foreign lead anymore.

      • mailman27

        That requirement will be cast aside in favor of FREEDOM!!!! and MAGA!!!!

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Not requiring, suggesting…

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        Well, it plays well in middle America when they can say that their hero is creating jobs. In their mind, American foundries will start making American pipes and jobs will sprout up everywhere. They don’t consider that prices will go up unless the people making the pipes take less in pay.

        • FlownOver

          …unless the people making the pipes take get less in pay.

          You make it sound as if it’s their choice. HAhahaha.

          • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

            Well it is. They can do that or go work at McDonald’s.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Make America Leak Again

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        :(

      • eggsacklywright

        leakin’ lena

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      So they have to scrap all the pipe they’ve already bought? The pipe that’s been rusting away quietly in large piles?

  • Sardonicuss

    Trimph at the inaug.: If a Walmart could vomit, it would look like this
    https://youtu.be/OM7B56xok9M

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Disgusting but hilarious.

      • Trump nails the first part but misses the second

  • o’look Skwerl!

    How do we break the news that Obama got a 12-minute standing ovation?

    But I hear that the Foreign Intelligence Service of the Russian Federation is prepared to give him a hour long ovation and four pee hookers!

  • I’ve got to unload here.

    The CIA is not clapping now.

    The Spicer press briefing happening now is infuriating to listen to.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The Supreme Soviet, now they knew how know how to throw a standing ovation.

    It helped that the first person seen to stop clapping could be executed.

  • Vecchioivan

    This may come in handy any day now.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FY8tR0OQ1oc

    • laughingnome

      That Stalin sure had the clap.

      • Vecchioivan

        He was a real drip all right.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Didn’t he play golf?….

      • theCryptofishist

        TEnded his own roses.

    • theCryptofishist

      “Nightly arrest” sounds like they’d be released in the morning, and then arrested again that night.

  • geoffalnutt

    Watched the video – and it occurred to me I once did the same thing! My mom had mistaken the Arid Extra Dry for the Aquanet.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The standing -O- he deserved. The shout out begins, “Kiss our….” and they turn and drop trou.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/260dd0b8837c7d627924badc4bd70f46953ca8502f65f64829d6ad75cdd11183.jpg

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    OT: Sen. Lamar Alexander has denied a request by Democratic Senators for another hearing on Education Secretary nominee Betsy DeVos, saying they are unfairly holding her to a higher standard that President Obama’s nominees.

    • Nounverb911

      The sure is an epidemic of republican Alzheimer’s going on in the republican party…

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Really is sad. Maybe they need to do some crosswords or sudoku to guard against losing even more memory.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      You mean like being able to ask follow up questions.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Not one of them should go unpunished for their criminal behavior. Not as single Rethug in Congress.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I agree. Shoot ’em all – with votes.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump looks around: “Love the stars. Somebody did great, huh? Donald Trump would like to have a star up there one day….because he loves you 1000%. Nobody love you more than Trump. I can tell you. You can believe that. Gimme’ a star! OK?”

    ~Agents just grin.~

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      …while mentally imagining giving him exactly what qualifies an agent, and no one else, for a star.

  • Nounverb911

    Something some how reminded me of this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hpPuFnq85A

    • mailman27

      That 12 string is a battleship class guitar. Dreadnought be damned!!

    • frrolfe

      Those crazy kidz!!!

  • janecita

    What’s next? A rally in front of the Tomb of the Unknowns? What a couthless barbarian! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/670eed2fdfc4b57306df7209ff0bebbb4d83f21fd672689225d9efb91c98567a.jpg

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’d been saying a drunken frat party, but have otherwise been using that exact analogy.

    • Vecchioivan

      Nothing like a coating of gold paint to spiff up these old monuments.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He essentially did JUST THAT at CIA HQ. That’s what that room is all about…a memorial to those whose names must remain unknown to protect their families.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump: “Why is he ‘unknown’? I don’t like unknown people. Let’s put somebody in there we all know. Hope you all saw my inauguration. Biggliest crowd of all time. Dishonest press wouldn’t report. SAD.”
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/045776e85c61004a77cedcc3dc71f9717ef7a78f1789853cdeb31d1d6da6775b.png

    • aureolaborealis

      I kind of like ‘vulgarian.’
      We were calling him that 30 years ago.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      It’ll be a barbecue for his biggest contributors.

  • Michael R

    How Trump sees America
    or
    How he plans to leave it ?

    https://s27.postimg.org/3udh5ztsz/wastelnd_city.jpg

    • natoslug

      Yes.

    • Doug Langley

      Well, what could be more patriotic than leaving the country looking like Independence Day?

  • Nounverb911

    Needs more laugh track….

  • Mavenmaven

    In other words, “I have a running war with the media. You are the CIA. Can we use some of the things we tried on Fidel Castro to get rid of some of those journalists?”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s true, if you could dust Chuck Todd’s shoes with Thallium salts so his beard would fall out, he would probably resign in disgrace.

      Wold Blitzer, given the same treatment, would probably just vanish.

      • Mavenmaven

        If Trump reads this, you’ll be hired.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Trump and his tiny digit love you all 1000%! Believe me. No one respects you more than Trump and his tiny digit. You can believe that. I will love you long time. You’ll beg me to stop….like Melania. CIA ….what’s that mean? C*ms In Ass? Clowns In Action? ~pulls at shirt collar~ …. Gotta go.”

    http://thumbnails.cbc.ca/maven_legacy/thumbnails/874/314/trump-cia-clip-012117_frame_930.jpg

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “I have received awards on the environment”. Trump actually said that today. That should be easily verifiable, right?

    • cmd resistor

      I have received awards [while crapping] on the environment?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        If a pigeon craps on him outside, it’s a reward on the environment, right?

    • beingreleased

      Yes it should.

      The evidence is quite slim for Trump’s claim that he has “received awards on the environment.” We know of one award by the Metropolitan Golf Association, given in 2007 to his golf course in Bedminster, N.J. The golf course was later cited for environmental violations.

      The White House pointed us to a self-published book by Trump’s former environmental consultant. The only award mentioned in that book was from New Jersey Audubon — but the group denied it ever gave an award to Trump, the Trump National club in Bedminster or any of its employees.

      Here is one award that we’ll give to Trump. It’s not related to the environment — and he already has many of them — but we present Trump with his first four-Pinocchio rating as president.

      https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2017/01/24/trumps-unsupported-claim-he-has-received-awards-on-the-environment/?hpid=hp_rhp-more-top-stories_no-name%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.275a981aebce

    • georgiaburning

      Are lawsuits now called alternative awards?

    • Vecchioivan

      Just like his many medals for his military experience.

    • Vecchioivan

      Just like his many medals for his military experience.

      • geoffalnutt

        And when he was the first man on the moon. I remember it so clearly!

        • FlownOver

          Glad he got on that cross for us.

    • Flashman

      He put an energy-efficient ice-maker in one of his hotels.

  • Anna Rompage

    Slightly OT, but it appears our very muchly most Dearest Leader has banned EPA employees from using social media…

    So much for an informed electorate… Can’t wait to see how they react to FOIA requests….

    http://thehill.com/policy/energy-environment/315876-trump-bans-epa-employees-from-giving-social-media-updates

    • Isn’t there something in American history guaranteeing freedom of speech and association?

    • boyblue123

      FOIA requests will now be $100K per page

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Another step toward controlling information. First the Park Service. Now the EPA. Soon, all federal information will have to be funneled through the White House where it will either be edited to reflect favorably on the administration and released or filed in the circular file cabinet.

      • Anna Rompage

        On the bright side, the hall monitors are getting some fabulous brown shirts, now made with slightly less itchy wool….

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          And hats! Very festive.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Please, tell me that at least they have the dignity of Hugo Boss and not the clownishishness of Woody Woodpecker Gucci.

      • geoffalnutt

        Please. I don’t believe anything they say as it is. I may only be slightly startled by the first flash of nuclear war.

    • Markuserektus

      The USDA also, too…

    • mailman27

      It’s all part of FREEDOM!!11!!! And LIBERTY1!!!!11!!!!!!

  • Creepoman

    The chyron says it all – “Trump to Intel Community: I am so behind you.” And that sound you just heard is Trump’s pants hitting the floor.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Thank you–his repeated threats were among the more disturbing parts of the whatever it was.

      • wavicles

        Amidst the wholly disturbing affair.

    • Me not sure

      “So, now that I’ve finished up, show me where you keep all of the exploding fountain pens and the cars with rocket launchers.” ….zzzzippppp!

  • Oblios_Cap

    “[P]robably almost everybody in this room voted for me, but I will not ask you to raise your hands if you did

    It’s a good thing he didn’t ask for a show of hands. No one would have raised theirs.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Could lead to comparisons, so none of that.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      See, I’m just thinking here, just thinking: if the president asked a group of civil servants in his employ a question about their voting records, wouldn’t that be….um….um…..grounds for a suit regarding employment issues?…

    • Bozilingus

      Hands extended with middle fingers do not count, Donnie.

  • Nounverb911
    • laughingnome

      You must pay extra for emoluments. – Russian Hooker

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I thought it was maybe some kind of statue.

    • proudgrampa

      That’s what I thought — a body lotion.

    • Nockular cavity

      We must all put the emolument on our skin, or else we get the hose again.

  • Nounverb911
  • Me not sure

    “When I said that you were all Nazis, I meant that as the highest of complements. Believe me.”

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Yesterday Kellyanne gave Spicer a little hug and kiss when he came into whatever meeting after the press briefing. I wonder what she’ll give him after today’s shit show?

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      A leftover serving of her dalmatian puppy casserole?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      A burning sensation when urinating?

    • Picabo

      EEEEWWWW! A kiss from KAC.

    • puredog

      Three swift punches in the face?

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    What’s next, Mike Pence coming out at he 5 min mark and throwing a cape over Donald ala a James Brown encore?

    • puredog

      T.A.M.I. Show libelz!

  • Nounverb911
    • Vecchioivan

      Big Brother is grabbing your pussy.

  • John Iwaniszek

    Will Trump be traveling with the same team of sycophants, or do they have relief teams?

    • msanthropesmr

      I was on a relief team for a while but I couldn’t keep up the enthusiasm and they sent me back to the minors.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The relief team trains at that Moscow hotel.

        • wavicles

          not THAT kind of relief

    • Bozilingus

      Making America Grate Again by bringing back jobs for psychophants.

      • good spelling mistake!

        • Bozilingus

          I am Lord over spell-check!

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            altornate spelling facks!…

      • puredog

        Nice coinage!

        • FlownOver

          We’ll have so many coins you’ll get tired of coins.

    • wavicles

      There’ll be no relief.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      If you don’t clap yourself bloody, your hands will be “alternatively moisturized” (by a sledgehammer?)

  • Bozilingus

    When Donnie was standing in front of the wall of fallen CIA operatives, did he know what the stars represented or did he think the were for all the states that voted for him?

    • Picabo

      No. Yes.

  • theCryptofishist

    Somehow, when I hear DT say he’s right behind me, I think he’s gonna bugger me, non consentually, without lube. You’d think that given the size of the damn thing the last wouldn’t matter so much, but it’s made out of sandpaper, so the lube matters a

  • Bill D. Burger

    “No one has your back more than Trump. You’ll say, ‘I wish he didn’t have our backs so much.’ That’s how much I’ll have your backs.”

    http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/tulsaworld.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/8/59/8590e5b5-fec4-5d35-8e7c-d11fcc7cb0f6/58535315e097c.image.jpg?resize=760%2C416

  • FauxAntocles

    Kellyanne was standing off to the side with a stopwatch.

    • Rick Hill

      *hand lifted…3…2…1
      “Ok, everyone can stop”

  • Oblios_Cap

    This guy is a walking, talking bumblefuck.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Bumblefuck libelz!

  • Rick Hill

    It’s trooo! I would not have believed it before Friday. When I saw the Mall crowded with 15 million people, hanging off balconies, climbing telephone poles…all to get a glimpse of this marvelous man! When he finished, strong men were weeping openly, women had fainted, children disowned their parents and said trump is now their mommy and daddy….truly unbelievable.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Baby born in Iraq named “Trump.” Yeah. I know.
      https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/823863201725083649

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Poor kid.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        You like him now. Wait til he comes for your oil.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “How’d you like to be the White House Historian?”

      • Rick Hill

        As long as it doesn’t depend upon trump signing the checks

  • Nounverb911
  • Ryan Denniston

    Someone tell the White House that the Age of Computer actually follows the Age of VHS and we can replay and time the ovation.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Computers, bytes go in, bytes go out. Who can explain it? Except Barron, that kid knows computers.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Jesus on Safari, and here I thought Jeb’s “please clap” was pathetic. The man is incapable of any thoughts outside of his own self-worth and his need for validation.

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      Now that he runs the Nat’l Bureau of Statistics, he’ll push for a claps per second standard.

      • clubseal

        Reminds me of Yevgeny Zamyatin’s “We.”
        An excellent, somewhat mathematical dystopian precursor to the likes of 1984.

  • Nounverb911
    • beingreleased

      “Analysis of available evidence is one way of drawing conclusions. We prefer a different method.”

      • Rick Hill

        “it is because they say so” has worked well for them so far…

    • boyblue123
    • Bill D. Burger
    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump Chumps’ ‘evidence’ is clear. Here they reveal it.

      https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/law-order-asbo-antisocial_behaviour-anti_social_behaviour-order-see_no_evil-grin869_low.jpg

      There! Clear alternative factual evidence. PERIOD.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        But Tweet yer brainz out!….

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      They…doubled-down? It’s becoming quite clear that Donald isn’t used to being fact-checked as president and thinks that he’s still running a campaign in front of potential voters/supporters who are already in the Trump bag. SpiceGurl is probably getting all of Trump’s rage at being called out and is being told to “fix it” without admitting he’s wrong.

      It would be awesome if Spicer just had a breakdown one day in mid-lie, covering for the boss, and said, “Fuck it. Peace. I’m out.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, if it’s astronomical, it should be easy to find some supporting evidence for the assertion, right? Right?

      Thank you very much, try the veal!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I believe………………….that every drop of rain that falls………………oh, fuck it…..

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Wow!…..Just fucking……..Wow!….

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I’m guessing the next TRump Declaration is going to be “anyone who didn’t vote for me is now an illegal,” so the alternative facts will fit their narrative.

    • theCryptofishist

      “Studies and Evidence!” All of a sudden he belives in science.

    • clubseal

      Most Americans probably aren’t even aware that any real, believable study of the election wouldn’t be complete in only a matter of months.
      But most Americans seem ignorant of a lot of things, so, there’s that.

  • Bill D. Burger

    As he spoke to the CIA agents and officials (who were waiting to be told to take their seats…BTW), Donald pictured his true leadership role.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/07b6ed8ef99080a2b8add4b1c88005e631a37378d8787b93067022f220aa0d9d.jpg

  • Angela Ruzzo

    In 1971 the Oscars gave 82-yr-old Charlie Chaplin an honorary award, and there was a 12-minute standing ovation, allegedly the longest in history. This was CHARLIE CHAPLIN, one of the most beloved people in the movie industry (or so people tell me, I never got into him) being honored by his peers.

    I don’t see Trump ever getting a standing ovation anywhere, under any circumstances whatsoever – – – – – UNLESS they were all so thrilled that he was done talking and about to leave that they got carried away.

    • Nounverb911

      Thanks for the reminder, I’m surprised that Trump do this for the CIA.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJOuoyoMhj8

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s the only Chaplin film I ever saw and liked. Great film.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          I never saw that one. I need to soon. I liked Modern Times a lot.

  • Bozilingus

    KAC to have name changed to Kelly Anne Conjob.

    She can still keep her monogrammed towels.

    • I read that as Corn job and though Ewwwwwww

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        not very buttery….

      • Is it because she goes in one end and out the other looking exactly the same?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I honestly read that and saw the last word as “bowels.” And I thought, “Well, okay….”

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Said this before, but at a Stalin speech, you don’t want to be the first person to stop clapping.

    • Nounverb911
    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      Have you ever seen the footage of Saddam Hussein purging his cabinet during a cabinet meeting? He stood there up on the podium with a similar look on his face to the one Donald wears.

  • Bozilingus

    It was Weird AL who received the 5-minute ovation:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-CG5w4YwOI

  • Bill D. Burger

    If Don the Con didn’t bring his own Peanut Gallery, he’d be channeling his own Jeb Bush each time he has a meeting.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/l0NwPo3VHujpJDI4w/giphy.gif

  • Crystalclear12

    I feel bad for the CIA.
    This isn’t how the world is supposed to work.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Neither Donny nor any of his minions, evidently, knew the CIA folk there would never sit (it would show disrespect to the office of the POTUS) until invited to do so. He never did tell them to sit, and so they stood the whole time.

      Later, Dumbass Hair Furor tweeted: “They gave me a standing ovation.”

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Don’t remember when this happened, but Placido Domingo once received 101 curtain calls and an 80-minute standing ovation for his performance of Othello. Beat that, Donnie.

    • clubseal

      He’d just call INS over someone with a Mexican-sounding name stealing the spotlight.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      Someone needs to tweet that. Donald will bust an aneurism.

    • therblig

      not only that, but he knocked my wife to the ground.

      years ago, ms. blig worked as an usher at the Met. one sunday, she was running late, scurrying backstage to her station and as she sped around the corner, there was placido domingo. boom! he’s 6’2″ and she’s 5’4″. she bounced off him and hit the floor. he helped her up and was very apologetic and gracious.

      • Doug Langley

        Where oh where is that video of Chris Christie running across a room and knocking a woman down?

    • Jukesgrrl

      Oh, please, don’t challenge him! Now he’ll have to use Federal funds to pay a group to do that.

  • ez

    I’ve asked before and in various places, who the fuck is Brian? Why did Mr Trump feel that Brian had earned a shout out?

    • NastyBossetti

      Brian is his pet name for real America. So it’s probably not you or me.

    • gamera23

      John Miller’s cousin.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    It’s a damn good thing pathological lying is not a capital crime, or we’d need new morgues.

  • Nockular cavity

    Nice video. I especially liked the part with the clapping.

  • Rick Hill

    I only hope the media finally redeem themselves from the idiocy of holding the Clinton administration to the fire when they first got into office. The immediacy they demanded of a policythat turned into DODT is something they need to make ammends for

  • DainBramage
    • Courser

      Christ, the only reprieve I get is while I’m sleeping! So sure, but don’t wake me up, k?

  • whitroth

    Some of y’all, at least, have worked places where there was a sign with a changeable number, that read “x days since the last accident”.

    I think Wonkette needs one:
    Days of Trumpoilini Presidency: 4
    Number of days that the major media called him a liar: 4
    Number of days since they last called him a lie: 0

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Has this sociopath ever actually completed a sentence in his life? Mother of God…he speaks in random, disjointed sentence fragments…$arah seems positively Lincolnesque by comparison.

    • theCryptofishist

      Remember wenh we though GHWB and Dan Quayle couldn’t talk.

      • Doug Langley

        Psshhh. Quayle could complete sentences and he was actually funny.

      • GHWB could talk when he wasn’t washing down Ambien with scotch.

        • theCryptofishist

          Remember when he threw up on the Japanese prime minister. Oh, back in the days when being an international disgrace didn’t feel like living under a black hole.

      • wavicles

        Eye memmer

        • theCryptofishist

          Yeah. Somehow Donald is dumming me from DC, while KAC is beaming alternative facts into my head.

    • NastyBossetti

      It hurts my little English major heart to hear or read the things he speaks.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Right? I truly wonder where in this incomprehensible blather his supporters find inspiration or motivation, or commonality of purpose. I mean, I’m predisposed to hate him, but it literally seems like random gibberish to me. The only unifying pattern in anything he says is the incessant need to boast and the gratuitous vindictiveness. I suppose the latter is what they find so encouraging.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          He speaks like they’ve heard him do on teevee, so it’s comfortably familiar to them, sadly. And he doesn’t have a heavy accent. I was recently in southeastern Kentucky and was driven to complain about one of the speakers at the event, “Someone needs to teach her that ‘air’ and ‘our’ are two different words.”

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “Yes.”
      “No.”
      “Your fired.”
      “It’s rigged.”

      I think the Squatter in Chief can manage one, or two-word sentences. Sometimes.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    What. The. Actual. Fuck.
    The man is mentally ill.

  • Boscoe

    Typical conservative thought process: “Five minute ovations are possible, they’ve happened before. So, who’s to say it didn’t happen? For all we know, it could be happening RIGHT NOW.”

    You’ve seen this process before, it’s pretty much the way they rationalize all their worst alt-reality ideas like creeping Sharia and cross-dressing rapists…

  • Picabo

    OT. “Day of National Awakening.”
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C243cg6XcAECUm9.jpg

    • theCryptofishist

      Horst Wessel Leiid is not a “Battle Hymn”, so at least they got that right.

    • proudgrampa

      I knew it sounded familiar…

  • An oldie but a goodie:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/785751922485b76d12ce9073940ead3a704abaa7f4b4f860d3a792bb2a781b60.gif

    You don’t know what it means to feel – to know that people – that an audience don’t want you.

    • clairence

      re that quote… I think we all do, occasionally. In fact, I sometimes take it hard when my neighbors shoot me a sideways glance on my morning walk. That’s why i’m not in politics.

      And as much as I truly despise these people, you gotta admire just a wee little bit their ability to get up every day and do what they do knowing they are hated by millions of people. I think that about most politicians, performers, speakers.

  • Vienna Woods

    Not going to scroll through all the comments, as the dog wants to go for his walk, but did anyone mention that der Trumpfer never told them to sit down, and since he was standing, there was no way that CIA guys were going to commit the cardinal sin of sitting whilst the President was standing?

    ETA:
    And I see that it has of course been mentioned below. Oh well, cannot be said too much.

    • BosGrl

      “What a crowd. The intelligence community loves me. They stood the whole time!”

      This is what happens when you surround yourself with a group of people who don’t know anything and can’t advise you properly. Not that he would have told them to sit, anyway. Stand for your fuhrer!

    • Jack Tenhet

      It bears repeating at every chance. When the President stands, pretty much nobody sits. Hell, I learned that from The West Wing, the first season, when it was still good.

    • puredog

      Yes.

  • Bozilingus

    When does Donnie choose a nice nickname for himself? Something like Papa Doc, or El Jefe, or “His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular”.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    The good news: you can actually clap that long without hurting yourself!

    The bad news: If you’re clapping that long for Trump, you will want to.

  • NastyBossetti

    I am giving this post a 5-minute standing ovation right now.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      I will too, as soon as I can get rid of these pants.

  • Ilgattomorte

    I normally wouldn’t believe this, but his speech was so moving. I mean that part about how everybody in the room probably voted for him? It brought me to tears. Then when he said we didn’t have to talk about Reince? I was so relieved. It reminded me of Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address:

    Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation,but big deal! Look at the mess they made of it. Frankly, they were a bunch of low-energy individuals who should have done a much, much better job. But that stops today.

    So now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. but I’m telling you, folks, we’re gonna endure. We are going to do a fantastic job of enduring. We are met on a great battle-field of that war… and nobody knows more about war than me. I’m very smart! The media won’t tell you that, because they are big, big liars, but I’m very smart. So now I’ve come here to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives, because we love people who give their lives. Don’t we love those people who give their lives? And. I’m telling you, that nation might live and you have me to thank for it.

    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground, because, let’s face it, we could build here. That’s what this country needs is more real estate jobs, not some more government hallowing. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, would really want it that way. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, because they are such liars, they will never give me credit for anything. But you can never forget what we did here. It’s really all because most of you voted for me that things are starting to look up and we can dedicate ourselves to the great task remaining before us — honoring the dead and resolving that these dead will not have died in vain — even though we prefer soldiers that don’t die, okay?

    So anyway folks, I’m going to give you a really terrific new birth of freedom — a really tremendous government … and we are going to do it of the people, by the people, for the people, until all the people say “Stop it with the people, Abraham. This is too much freedom. Maybe let us perish a little”.

    • Doug Langley

      That certainly moved me to tears.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      ROFLMAO!

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    For some reason–maybe because I’m thinking in terms of fascist tyranny a whole lot lately–this reminds me of one of my favorite stories.

    A Chinese village was struggling to survive under the brutal Japanese occupation. The local Japanese official fancied himself to be not only powerful and valorous, but a commanding public speaker and brilliant thinker as well. He would order the villagers to assemble, and then would expatiate at great length on any topic that struck his fancy.

    When, on one occasion, they failed to respond in a manner he considered appropriate, but merely sat in polite, stoic silence, he threatened them with severe reprisals. The villagers, having suffered incredible atrocities, knew it was no idle threat.

    The next day, he called them to the village hall again, for another speech. To show them there were no hard feelings, he began his remarks with a little joke he had prepared.

    The villagers laughed at the little joke.

    They continued to laugh.

    They laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

    They went on laughing long after the official had flown into a rage and ordered his men to break up the meeting. He stormed away, the laughter of the villagers still ringing in his ears.

    They were never again forced to endure one of his speeches.

    • Mike Steele

      Truly believe we can ridicule this twit into going back to host The Apprentice. However, the dangerous cabal that remains will be FAR tougher to dislodge… and w/o the circus, ADD citizenry will lose interest.

  • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

    I didn’t clap that much for They Might Be Giants, and They make more sense.

    • Teecha

      Fucking hell. I’ve got birdhouse in my soul as my new earworm. Thanks Obama.

  • ViveLaRésistance

    I tried to watch the whole speech but it’s impossible. The self-aggrandizement, the image of this small, stupid man being condescending to a group of professionals, the constant smirking…it’s all too much. He talked about how long he’s been “touring,” by which I guess he meant campaigning, as if he’s a rock star. What a national embarrassment.

    • mailman27

      The only thing worse than listening to his incoherent remarks is reading a transcription of them. Jesus. It’s appalling.

    • wavicles

      the DearLeader Unpresidented VICTORY Tour

  • Randy Riddle

    So … is Trump hiring clappers with Federal funds? Inquiring minds with FOIA request forms want to know…

  • gamera23

    I believe that Donald Trump is like a smart person. Breathes in oxygen, exhales CO2, opposable (though tiny) thumbs…

  • azeyote

    a guy that ravels with his own laugh track –

  • Poly_Ester

    Five minutes? Really. Doesn’t the CIA have anything better to do on weekends?

    • Stulexington

      Yeah, that’s why Trump had to bring in an audience.

  • JohnBull

    The first person to stop clapping was sent to the camps.

  • HogeyeGrex

    I suspect the reaction was closer to this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4e8iAofnrw

    These are, after all, people whose job it is to distinguish facts from a noisy background.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    The first clue was when somebody asked Spicer if he was committed to telling the truth and he said “yes”.

    • clairence

      and then Spicer’s next sentence was that they might disagree with the facts.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Lying comes so easily to these people they can’t stop. They just make up lie after lie, even about stupid little stuff that doesn’t matter and is easily refutable, just for the thrill of getting away with it.

    • Thorn Spike

      They don’t even really get away with it, but they just don’t care.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    And from the look of those quotes, Trump’s a lying fucking moron who thinks he’s a genius.

    That should be apparent to people who make their living evaluating the credibility of information received.

    • Gregory Brown

      I can’t even read his words without may last meal threatening to make a curtain call.

  • Minutes, seconds? Does anyone really know what time it is? Does anyone really care?

    • cheetojeebus

      Well, we’ve all got time enough to cry.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    As I recall, the audience gave Nina Simone a standing o of five minutes plus when I saw her years ago.
    Because she’s Nina fucking Simone.

  • Hanaka

    I wonder how long until it’s required to stand and clap for the supreme leader for a full 5 minutes after every speech? Barry Bamz, I miss you much.

    • phoenix00

      Soon, you will simply raise your arm at a 40-degree angle with your fingers and palms straight and extended.

      Soon.

  • clairence

    clever. but aren’t there some real issues to be investigative journalism-ing?

    • Alex Ruthrauff

      I have a full-time job that’s not blogging. If someone wants to hire me as a full time investigative journalist….. that would probably be a bad idea, because I have no background in that. So for now I will just try to do the occasional amusing thing about politics.

      • clairence

        it is appreciated.

      • Sister Artemis

        And was that your fine clapping we witnessed for five minutes? (okay, for me about 20 seconds cuz I kept skipping ahead)
        And did the hand-clapper have blisters after that? Because I’ve standing-ovationed* for people I really adored, and I had to give up after a minute or so. Owwwww!
        —-
        I was going to quip “standing-ovated” but it sounded like a perverted mix of Ovaltine and Ovaries

        • Alex Ruthrauff

          I didn’t have too much trouble. I paced myself.

    • HazooToo

      Besides Alex’s comment, Wonkette is not an investigative journalism type blog. It gathers and distributes the news, cutting through the bullshit and explaining in lay terms exactly what the fuck is going on, then why it’s good/bad/awful/hilarious as fuck/move to Canada now bad. Please enjoy.

  • Doug Langley

    I read that according to protocol the spooks have to stand when the Prez enters and can’t sit until after he directs them to do so. Donald never told them to sit (even money says he didn’t know about it), so they had no choice but keep standing.

  • Spurning Beer

    Hey Spicer! Big fucking deal! Kim Jung Il shot a 38-under-par round of golf, including 11 holes-in-one! Trump is a disgusting loser. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/8292848/The-Incredible-Kim-Jong-il-and-his-Amazing-Achievements.html

  • cheetojeebus
  • chortlingdingo

    I said, it was almost raining, the rain should have scared them away, but God looked down and he said, we’re not going to let it rain on your speech.

    Are you kidding me? Can he possibly get more creepy and egotistic?

    • Paperless Tiger

      GWB looked more presidential wrestling with his pancho, because … well because it was fucking raining!

  • Teecha

    I was enjoying a soothing YouTube video about a man removing bees from someone’s house earlier, and I read some comments. Some skanky, arse-licking Brit wrote a congrats on ole farty being pres. well, I disagree with that sentiment, but you know… people are entitled to be wrong. Nice soothing beekeeper replies that it’s great to have him and he’ll do a better job than bush, and it’ll be great after 8years of no president.

    So I came back here where comments aren’t allowed, and I need to remember to never read the fucking comments.

    • nightmoth

      Yeah, youtube needs a banhammer-in-chief. Never read the youtube comments.

      • Teecha

        I was so disappointed. I love a video about bees.

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    I watch a lot of the ID channel which is all true crime type shows, and last night was watching one about cases that are truly mind boggling, kind of like actual horror movie plots. The men (not all, but mostly white men were the killers) on this particular show all sounded so much like Orangey Rage ball that I had to switch back to something lighter for the night.

    Story after story, a guy who lies about every single detail of his life and seems to live in an alternate reality eventually snaps or is confronted in a way that breaks his brain and then murders someone. And then I had multiple dreams about nazis coming for my family, so that was fun. I don’t know that I have a point other than – boy The Lying Bastard sure seems to have a lot of markers of sociopathy/psychopathy/narcissism, huh?

    • wavicles

      Funny, that. Eh?

  • mailman27

    That Trump is one silver-tongued fellow.

    • Kgprophet

      It’s just dumbfounding to think his demented self-contradicting lies denying attacks on the intelligence community would work on these guys. I observed this before and only see further proof that soon Trump will make enemies of almost everybody in D.C., making his administration impotent.

      • mardam422

        Trump already believes he is the most impotent person alive. Oh…never mind.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Trump to Intelligence Community: “I am so behind you.”
    Intelligence Community to itself: “Bend over, here it comes again.”

  • Paperless Tiger

    They probably clapped for the pee video too. You know they’ve seen it. At least the double agents have.

  • Jose Martinez

    5 minute argument of Trump reduced to absurdity.

  • Zyxomma

    He never told them to sit. They were already on their feet, so perhaps it was TECHNICALLY a standing ovation, but not INTENTIONALLY.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    This is terrifying. Seriously. The level of fuckwittery conveyed in this “speech” is enough to make me nostalgic for Dubya and those endless pauses that made you wonder whether he were actually trying to remember how to talk.

  • Keith Taylor

    “Thus he spoke, being a natural born liar and unable to tell the truth on a wager.”
    — Robert E. Howard

  • phoenix00

    Igh. Is it a good or bad sign that not only can I not listen to his speeches, I can’t even read them anymore?

  • mardam422

    He speaks like my ADHD effected girlfriend. Sentences start, meander, change direction quickly. I have to tell her all the time to focus. What was the point you wanted to make?Only difference is she doesn’t keep telling me how smart/wonderful/fantastic she is every 15 seconds. God, we are so fucked.

  • Unclechuck49

    The Village Idiot didn’t know that he was supposed to tell them to sit down. So they stood through the whole mess, and were left standing when the idiot left. They hate this mother fucker. Stood in front of the wall of Honored dead and doesn’t mention them. Brags about himself. Pathetic.

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