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They like heroes who didn't get skull fractures in some silly voting march
They prefer heroes who didn’t get skull fractures in some silly voting march

Quite a week for the deleted comments, so we’ll put on the ol’ neoprene gloves and breathing mask and get right to the Derp Pile. Not surprisingly, we heard from a lot of angry folks who have had it up to here with that terrible racist John Lewis, who betrayed America by suggesting there was something less than legitimate about a presidential election where one campaign was getting a little help from a foreign country’s spy operations. Needless to say, the real threat to American Democracy is John Lewis, for suggesting that Donald Trump’s election was anything other than perfectly normal, just like every other election where oppo research was outsourced to the FSB. One “Dave Stallman” called us out on grounds of pure logic: How does Lewis’s past as a civil rights hero give him any credibility now?

  • If Lewis is such a badass why are all the Dems protecting like he’s a retarded younger sister, after all it was Lewis that attacked Trump not vice versa, now everyone on the left is invoking MLK and trying to force Trump to apologize for being attacked. I swear you lefties have lost all your marbles. Seems to me Lewis is a thin skinned primadonna.
  • BUT, how does the fact that Lewis marched with MLK like they keep bringing up, give Lewis immunity for making anti American lunatic statements about his political opponents ? Lewis seems to be the world’s oldest child.
  • Lewis said he didn’t recognize the results of the election that are enshrined in the US Constitution which sounds pretty damn Un-American to me.
  • [If] you believe Lewis really is a legislative badass stop treating him like a defect by protecting him from criticism and don’t whine in a year when Trump won’t meet with him over some issue and call him racist for doing so, because we know the reason will be that LEWIS IS THE RACIST. That is all goodbye and goodnight cowards.
“Dave Stallman” was also very angry that people on Wonkette hide behind screen names, which makes their opinions completely invalid.

Now, we will admit there could be a grain of truth to the idea that simply because someone is famous for something, it doesn’t render them immune to criticism, especially when they’re talking about something unrelated to what they’re famous for — like perhaps a real estate developer pronouncing himself an expert on international terrorism who knows more than generals do. But John Lewis’s fame comes from his fight for the right to participate in free and fair elections. And if anyone knows about the multiple ways in which democracy can be manipulated before a single vote has been cast, it’s John Lewis. The marching with MLK part is certainly an extra badge of honor.

Not that Lewis is necessarily a civil rights hero at all, or even if he is, it was a long time ago, and so what? “Wile E. Coli” (we really hate having to admit an otherwise complete lunkhead has a pretty good username) happens to know John Lewis is no hero at all, because for one thing, he criticized Donald Trump, and for another thing, what has Lewis ever done besides betting beaten and tear gassed that one time, huh?

  • “Legislative Badass” Is this a joke? The guy is a bumbling partisan idiot who should have been relieved of his job a long time ago. “Hero” ? it cheapens the word.
  • YOU wankettes are somewhat delusional. He’s not a hero. He’s a zero. Heroes would be able to take what they dish.
  • You guys are desperate. With the racial crap. Give up.
  • You guys crack me up with your Russian BS. Poor things.
  • He is someone who thinks he can do whatever he wants and say whatever stupid things he wants to because he was hit a couple of times when he was younger. He’s the best excuse for term limits next to Chaka Fatah . Corrine Brown and Jesse Jackson Jr.
  • [in reply to someone pointing out Lewis’s skull was fractured in the Selma march:] It’s over once it heals. Now, 60 years later, it really means nothing. He will be scored on his actions. He’s now acting like a traitor and he’s a hypocrite for doing that. But alas, he really isn’t smart enough to keep his emotions in check and be a respectable Congressional Rep.
  • He’s not a ‘hero’. He’s a nitwit who has exploited a few hours of his past for far too long. He’s not untouchable. He started it with a completely stupid statement and got a little feedback from it. Nowhere near a ‘hero’. And nowhere near intelligent enough to be where he is.

Pfft, so he got a skull fracture in one march, so what? It got better, and it’s the only thing “Wile E. Coli” knows about John Lewis, so therefore Lewis has no other history. It’s not like he had a decades-long involvement in creating and leading the SCLC SNCC [thanks to alert Wonkette Operative “Bob Mahnken” for the correction! I shouldn’t try to remember things on my own — Dok] and working for voting rights as well. Apparently this guy thinks Lewis suddenly came to fame simply because he was injured in the Selma march, like some guy who once caught a home-run ball and has been bragging about it ever since. We might see what a useless old jerk John Lewis is, if we weren’t such racists. Also, we need term limits for corrupt politicians, all examples of whom happen to be black.

“Comrade Alva” had a lot of thoughts about Lewis, as well as about other important issues, like how commenters using Disqus’s “block” function proves that liberals don’t respect the First Amendment. “Comrade Alva” is one of those folks whose comment history is a catalog of catchphrases — “Fake news,” “dishonest press,” “blacks breaking free of the liberal plantation,” “violent libs,” and so on. On the John Lewis post, “Comrade Alva” brought us a lot of similar one-liners, plus some copy-pasted text from a weirdass rightwing blog — maybe theirs, maybe someone else’s, but it sure was timely, since the stuff they copied was from a full year ago:

Stupid racist pieces of shit, like Georgia Democratic Rep. John Lewis, will continue to push the idea that all criticism of Obama is because of his race (half of it at least), instead of Obama’s horrible decisions – his laughable weakness that has allowed the world to burn down around him – the Obama administration’s corruption and total disregard for the laws of our nation – Obama’s continued support of terrorists – and Obama’s many covert attempts to destroy America from the inside.

Rep. John Lewis is a worthless fat libtard jackass who has no clue about reality, and will say anything to try and protect the reputation of their Socialist/Muslim savior, Obama.

The truth is that most criticism of Obama has nothing to do with his race, and has everything to do with how shitty of a so-called “leader” he has been, who will be remembered as “Obama – America’s Weak Terrorist In Chief” & also as the “Worst President in History” – both of which are 100% true.

Fatass loser John Lewis needs to wake up, put down the donuts or snack cakes, and try to get back to reality.

comrade-alva-pic4

Timely AND witty! Also, just to make sure they hit every possible rightwing cliché, “Comrade Alva” reminds us that almost everyone in the Civil Rights movement was a Republican, but now John Lewis hates civil rights because he wants background checks on firearms sales:

comrade-alva-meme-3

We even heard from someone who created a one-off Disqus account with the username “John Lewis,” to make the point that racism is over and The Blacks are the real bigots:

  • My name is John Lewis, I am a Planet of the Apes junkie, I collect Planet of the Apes memorabilia and I enjoy Dr Zaius. Any resembalance of my avatar to the racist bigot Rep. John Lewis of Georgia is purely coincidental.
  • Rep John Lewis is a grifter who makes living selling white boogyman fear porn

You do sort of have to wonder what’s going on in the head of someone who’s so insistent that racism is over, but can’t seem to stop insisting The Blacks are lazy shiftless apes. Sorry. Lazy shiftless racist apes.

Our post on the geniuses who want to increase the white birthrate through the magic of internet memes, thus staving off White Genocide, got the usual bunch of racist trolls, including one guy calling himself “Spanish PePe,” who offered some links to actual science papers to prove that the Jews want to manipulate Our Genes to control the world! (The papers were about possible links between genetics and behavior, and they were authored by Jews, QED):

Jewish propaganda is strong on (((you))) […] but the problem is — be prepared for your redpill — society is a racial construct, jews know this, and if you are not genetically from the chosen race they think you don’t deserve to be among them. Dont trust me? Just see some biomolecular studies, and see (((WHO))) are studying which genes determines what behavior within a society.

ProTip: not the nazis, but the jews.

“Genetics of social Behavior” by (((Richard P. Ebstein))), (((Salomon Israel))), (((Ariel Knafo)))…

AVPR1A Variant Associated with Preschoolers’ Lower Altruistic Behavior by (((Gary Bornstein))), (((Richard P. Ebstein))), (((Salomon Israel))), (((Ariel Knafo)))…

Many other Jews. Sorry mates… RACES EXIST, and (((they))) just want to wipe ours.

Egad! Jews wrote a couple papers on genes and behavior! How blind can you be to the conspiracy? There’s your RED PILL MOMENT! Of course, for both papers, our intrepid researcher left out any non-Jewish-sounding co-authors’ names; like ” Soo Hong Chew” and “Songfa Zhong” on the first one. Seems like a rhetorical misstep, since “Spanish PePe” could have explained that means the Chinese are in on it too.

A bunch of the other comments on the Moar White Babbies Thru Memes piece came from losers who flock at a neo-Nazi website that thinks it’s the height of pro-white activism to spam comments sections, so we’ll present only a few sample comments without usernames, lest the authors think they’ve won by bringing their devastating truth to us:

  • Omg! maybe they succeed… jews actually did it with interratial couples via MTV… maybe they manage to create nice propaganda that brainwashes our brain just like the jews have already done! What will we do if that happens?
  • This is amazing. The Left is now openly waging war against white families. I am in tears laughing. Check mate commies your time is coming bahaha.
  • Yeah, I mean it’s complete insane to want to preserve your race. Hahahah
  • better this than to be memed into misceginating by the mainstream media…
  • What? So you want to increase white birthrate by pumping money to dindus to breed more?
  • “We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children”

You really have to admire someone who thinks quoting the all-important “14 words” is an impressive argument.

And finally, there was “czarangelus,” who explained the science of why white women shouldn’t be allowed to breed outside their race, duh:

  • There is nothing uglier or more obscene than a happy, stable family that supports one another into old age! You show’em, girl!
  • You don’t understand making long-term emotional investments, you just throw yourselves on any dicks that will have you until you suddenly realize you’re 40 and the only thing that wants to keep you company anymore is your 17 cats.
  • Yeah, why WOULD any man want to carry on thousands and thousands of years of genetic heritage going all the way back to when the first lungfish crawled out of the swamp and flapped, heaving for breath on dry land? I can’t imagine why anybody would care about something so, like, totally banal as the perpetuation of humanity and the unique phenotypes of Europe in particular. Like, isn’t the new color of my nails just like, so much more important?
  • I was hoping for an opportunity to expand on this! Think about the evolutionary history of human beings. If your tribe’s men lost on the battlefield, you could frequently expect the women to be seized as war brides. Strong kinship and loyalty ties are, for women, a genetic liability – the better you are able to cope with being made a warlord’s sex slave, the more likely you are to pass your own genes to the next generation. It’s not pretty but it’s the behavioral genome our ancestors gifted to us.

    And that’s why you shouldn’t be allowed to vote, or maybe your vote should count for 3/5 or something. You’ve been evolutionary optimized to be marginally-bonded sluts and generally speaking you completely lack the loyalty/ingroup axis of morality. That’s why when an irresponsible man has a mid-life crisis he buys a motorcycle; when an irresponsible woman has a mid-life crisis, she burns down her family unit and goes out in search of what we call a “Chad.”

See? SCIENCE! And in fact, the utter unworthiness of women to make their own decisions about whom to mate with is proven beyond a doubt by “czarangelus’s” own personal experience. He has given this a lot of deep science thinking!

I was in a relationship for 15 years that I intended to carry on for life. But because society revolves around the wants of women rather than the needs of stable social units, she saw fit to pack up stakes and leave, knowing that there’s always another dick she can throw herself on without any fear of being called out for her selfishness. For a time, anyway. When she’s 50 and no longer attractive and the only thing that cares to keep her company are 17 cats, that’s when the regret sets in. It’s not “justice,” but it’s the closest thing we’ll ever get.

Some bitch failed to recognize how important she was to preserving the social order, so she left him, and that’s why white women need to be kept in line, to preserve the superior genetic and cultural heritage of guys like “czarangelus.”

God, don’t you morons know the first thing about science?

$
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  • memzilla Ω

    We need an update on when Editrix’s CNN video gets posted!!!

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      Yes please!

    • proudgrampa

      What? You didn’t take the day off yesterday in honor of our fearless Editrix and watch it live???

      • OrG

        Only elitists have cable.

  • calliecallie

    Once again, Dok deserves a medal for reading all these comments. It’s a bottomless ocean of derp.

    • memzilla Ω

      I want to know how many boozes it takes for Dok to scrub his brain afterwards.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        AOT,K

  • memzilla Ω

    I have a very easy process to keeping my sanity now that we’re in Drumpfland:

    1. Assume everything Drumpf or his flying monkeys says is a lie.
    2. Assume everything they whine about is projection for what they themselves do.
    3. Waste no time analyzing anything Drumpf says in order to predict what he’ll do (see Step 1. above)

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    hey Dave! want to know what’s REALLY un-American? Having the fucking Russians help you get elected by meddling in US elections. In fact, objecting to that cheating mother fucker is one of the most quintessentially American things one can do.

  • baconzgood

    I don’t hide behind a screen name screen name. My Christian name is actually Baconzgood. It’s Dutch-Swahallii.

    • bupkus23

      How do we know that “Dave Stallman” wasn’t some screen name? He doesn’t seem to understand that could be just as “phony” as bupkus23….

    • The funny thing is, if I wanted to hide my identity, I’d use my real name as a screen name. My real name is one of those extremely common ones, and unfortunately, I’m not the actor, professional athletes, top attorneys, etc. who also share it. But I’m willing to take the credit!

      • My real name is totes unique. *slow turn camera right*

        • Jonny On Maui

          So Ms. Slow Turn Camera Right, do you prefer Slow or Ms. Right?

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Many centuries ago I worked with a woman who’s family name was so unique that anyone with that name in USAistan was her first cousin.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Hi John Smith!

        • proudgrampa

          I had a feeling I should have looked a little further…

          Oh, well.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        YOU’RE Michael Bolton?

      • proudgrampa

        Well, it’s about time you admitted it, John Smith.

    • The Wanderer

      My actual name is spelled “Raymond Luxury-Yacht,” but it’s pronounced “Throat Warbler-Mangrove.”

      • baconzgood

        You’re a very silly person.

        • The Wanderer

          (wails) But it’s my only line!

    • coozledad

      My parents were real assholes.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Yeah, I was given first, middle and last names each of which can be first, last or middle names. I do *not* tell peopum what my middle name is to avoid confusion

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Ah, yes. You’d think they’d settle down now that “their guy” won. But nope – if we aren’t all falling in line to grovel before the Orange one, then we need to be “corrected”.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      They are in for a rude awakening. They’re about to discover that not only will no such thing happen, but we vastly outnumber them

      • Tiny kaiju

        And we aren’t all polite and well behaved all of the time.

    • They are SUPER MAD we won’t tuck tail and slink off to sulk.
      SUPER MAD.
      :)

    • shivaskeeper

      They are more than welcome to try correcting me.

    • It’s not enough for Trump to win, he has to be loved. But Trump is fundamentally unlovable, so that will never happen.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Damn. That’s some high quality derp on display!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT so based upon the teachings of Pat Robertson and all the other wise Christian spokesmen, I can assume that the outbreak of tornadoes across LA, MS and GA is God punishing them for voting for Trump

    • Don’t be silly. God punishes the good people ™ for allowing those heathens in NY to keep existing.
      Science fact.

    • Count Awesome

      It’s to punish them for deh gayz too, also.

    • shivaskeeper

      Nope. Still teh ghays, abotionplexes, and wimminz. God’s aim has not improved at all. He still misses his targets in the libtard coastal hellscapes.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Funny how he hits churches and trailer parks, though…

        • shivaskeeper

          The real funny part is when an entire section of town is destroyed and people actually rejoice because they find an undamaged bible. 20 dead? Who cares, this book shows clearly shows God’s love.

          Oh wait, that’s the thing that isn’t funny.

    • The Wanderer

      That’s my take on it.

    • Tiny kaiju

      It will be declared they did not hate the gays and uppitty women and colored people enough. God demands someone’s blood after all.

      • willi0000000

        thus it is proven: god is a tool.

        [ have you ever owned a tool that didn’t require a blood sacrifice sooner or later? ]

        • Tiny kaiju

          This may explain why I have a seemingly irrational fear of circular saws.

          • willi0000000

            i loaned one of my brothers a 10″ radial arm saw . . . i told him to set it up and square it by the manual then take a 2×4 and cut about an inch off the end . . . now think, if it went through that so easily, how hard would it have to work to do that to an arm? . . . he called me the next day and said “i don’t fear it, but i respect the hell out of it”

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Using Comrade Alva’s logic, FDR had to be the worst preznit ever for allowing the world to burn down around him.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • schmannity

      Political anal cyst or dentition commentator?

    • proudgrampa

      Ya gotta think that was not accidental…

      • Celtic_Gnome

        O’Reilly better watch his back. The Englishman’s coming for his job.

        • proudgrampa

          O’Reilly is OUR analcyst. One of many.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      I called this a year ago. This is one of those times when I am sorry to be correct.

  • baconzgood

    I find white boogeyman fear porn difficult to masturbate to.

    Great band name though.

    • yeah boogeymen are not really fear inducing unless they are green. Like boogies

    • Shan

      You have to stop sometimes.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        You do?

        Well, shit…

      • Jonny On Maui

        Says who?

      • baconzgood

        Not when my lady lives so far away.

        • Shan

          You should get her to do something about that.

          • baconzgood

            She wants the pork.

          • Shan

            I thought you said she was Jewish.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Ms Thinker is a non-observant Jew. I get not to buy her Christmas or Chanukka presents.

            I like this arrangement

          • Jonny On Maui

            Agreed!

          • Shan

            Wholeheartedly! Yes, she should definitely go help him switch hobbies.

  • she saw fit to pack up stakes and leave

    Could NEVER be because the doofus is a white supremist sexist dick that no one likes! LOLZ I just knew there was a “she left me!” whine in all that

    • Ricky Gay

      he misses those stakes!

      • C4TWOMAN

        Perhaps it was steaks? That would make slightly more sense. I’d be mad if someone ran off with my steaks….

        • Ricky Gay

          steaks we like? and maybe she hit him with some cedar cheese. ((ouch))

  • Jonny On Maui

    Hiding behind screen names? Hey! Name and location.

    You’ll get my last name when we’re formally introduced…

    • YOU HIDE BEHIND NAAAMEEESSS
      Says the guy with 50 puppet accounts and who uses the name of some guy who stoled his girl.

    • C4TWOMAN

      It’s an alt-right troll tactic, sometimes used in conjunction with gamergate style Internet mobbing. A target is asked to share their REAL NAME. Usually they don’t. At that point a link is shared with the rest of the mob who uses their “skillz” (Google) to try to dox them.
      I don’t think that was in play with these trolls, but that’s where the dynamic comes from.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Same here…

    • Left Coast Tom

      Same here.

      Not that I want to be formally introduced to any of the fuckwits who made up this week’s Dear Shit-fer-Brains.

    • proudgrampa

      The name is proud. grampaproud.

      *wink*

  • DahBoner

    Looks like America is in for some nasty weather.
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/ToMjGpMcMD0ooH8YYo0/200_d.gif#40

  • The Librarian

    So czarangelus’ woman left him, (because he’s nuts?) so he had to come to Wonkette to complain that bitches be bad. Um, with that ‘tude, good luck finding a replacement, fuckwit.

    • Count Awesome

      He must be a real Cath for all the other womenz.

      • The Librarian

        Hmmmm, when he pounces, catch him with gloves on and dispose with other hazardous waste.

    • No snark a minute: Thing is, there ARE women who are perfectly willing to be the perfect servile whatever he wants her to be. We know they exist, the women who cry about feminists scaring off the men, etc. There are even sites for these people to go to and, barring that, he could always get a mail order bride.
      But he does not want to have to work for anything, he thinks he is owed a perfect “10” and he sure as shoot doesn’t want another bitch to pay alimony to, so instead he whines and whines.

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s all her fault. He is perfect. Probably chiseled like a classical Greek God, bathes regularly, does not entertain insane thoughts about a woman’s place in his life, or anything like that at all.

      • The Librarian

        Oh, absolutely, until you wake up next to him after a bender and say “My God, what have I done?”

      • Celtic_Gnome

        And absolutely does not live in his mom’s basement.

    • Tiny kaiju

      And when he’s fifty, he won’t even have cats to keep him company.

  • baconzgood

    I’m sure her leaving you had nothing to do with you being a fucking ass hat?

  • Rick Hill

    These people support actual commies more than the make beleive ones.

  • Truck Fump
  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Sean’s resignation won’t do anything. Donald will just find another lying sack of shit to take his place.

      There are no Jerald terHorsts in the Drumpf malasstration.

      • White House Press Secretary Jim Hoft.

      • FigaroPho

        True, but I still think Conway replaces him within a month. Then the “alternative facts” really start flying.

  • Vecchioivan

    Can some one teach these fuckwits the difference between evolution and Social Darwinism?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      probably not- they’re just not smart enough to grasp it

      • willi0000000

        maybe if they evolved some more?

        [ nah! ]

    • Saaaayyyyy you know who ELSE used Social Darwinism to pretend that science backed up their claims of genetic superiority?

      Oh wait. That was also Nazis. Never mind.

      • I think Nazis is going to be the answer a lot in the new future

        • C4TWOMAN

          We live in Godwin Times.

          • I would prefer interesting ones

          • C4TWOMAN

            I think we got a twofer one. I hope someone saved the receipt.

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          They broke Godwin.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      That’s a tall order, given the level of derp they display.

    • Jonny On Maui

      teach these fuckwits

      HAHAHAhahahahahahaha!!!!

      Thanks for the laugh. I needed it!

      • Vecchioivan

        Silly me.

    • C4TWOMAN

      No. Social Darwinism supports the idea the “strong” are entitled to rule/win. they of course assume they are the “strong”.
      To believe anything else, their world view would collapse. And they’d have to learn a new skill set of admitting the don’t know everything and working with people, and only losers liberals do that.

  • UpstateNYObserver

    Never in history has projection been so intensely predictive of the vile nature of some people’s souls. The RW racists as they attack a man like Lewis show everyone else exactly what they are. Trump and his band of spirochetes are showing the world what a mass infection of syphilis looks like.

    • Good news is that apparently, as we saw yesterday, the world is collectively rejecting them.
      I think they know it. I think they know they are out numbered and they are afraid. VERY afraid.

      • The Wanderer

        Pope Frankie is adopting a “wait and see” posture regarding Trump. As if his opinion could influence Angry Orange in any way.

        • Frankie is throwing shade. He already dun said what he thought about wall builders

          • Edith Prickly

            I’m waiting for Frankie to say something about moneychangers in the temple…

          • Give him a minute. He’s got a lot to work with

      • UpstateNYObserver

        Unfortunately, frightened people with the national security apparatus he has at his disposal and nukes is very dangerous combination.

  • azeyote

    i’m an old – i remember the civil rights movement and the anti war movement like it was yesterday – these ignorant folks are commenting on what they obviously have no connection to – must be young sheltered uneducated and probably living in moms basement – but yesterday was phenomenal, and made me feel like a restart of the 60s could be happening – what’s weird is that it’s about the same things – except trumps war hasn’t started yet – power to the people – women are on it

    • Jonny On Maui

      What scares me is how many Kent States are we going to have this time.

      • Chilling thought.

      • Tiny kaiju

        But it won’t be the military shooting us. It will be more lone wolves and faux patriots killing us for our own good.

        • FigaroPho

          I agree that it won’t be the military but it will the be the highly militarized police that Trump wants to give carte blanche to kill anyone who makes them feel scared by being insufficiently white, male, or obedient.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        I was a college student when Kent State happened. I remember being terrified and horrified that the government had reached the point of killing its children for protesting a war.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Even worse…using other children (the Ohio National Guard) to kill its children.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            One of my students wrote a very good paper about the Kent State shooting once. His main argument was that the whole thing was a fuckup from start to finish, and in some ways made inevitable, by the fact that the shooters were issued live ammo when in most cases, the National Guard wasn’t issued ammo in situations where the threat was deemed negligible.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I know a guy who was a lieutenant in the National Guard unit sent to Kent State. He fell in love with the town and moved there and opened a business. Still there, as far as I know.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        NO MOAR NEIL YOUNG SONGS!

        • I fight you now

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            Neil Young’s voice annoys me. Can we still be friends?

          • Skeptical_thinker

            I am yours forevermore.

    • nightmoth

      same here—my marching shoes still fit

      • azeyote

        mine too – and i can still burn a draft card –

        • The Wanderer

          Even if I have to run a Google search for one and print it out.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I still have mine. Turned 18 in 1972.

  • Rick Hill

    Can we petition the government to stop using No-brains on those people?
    http://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aERL469_460s.jpg

    • Vecchioivan

      It’s the only logical explanation.

  • Villago Delenda Est
    • Vecchioivan

      We’ve been warned.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        A healthy percentage of us will not heed the warning, because we’re morans.

        • Vecchioivan

          “Whatever else happens, we shall remain stupid.” – Flaubert on the start of the Franco- Prussian War

  • memzilla Ω

    So many unfuckable white guys with so much Kleenex time on their hands.

  • Garbageman

    But in the good news, at least one of them believes in evolution!

    • The Wanderer

      Most of them demonstrate the pitfalls of the evolutionary process.

  • Courser

    Um, I’m allergic to cats, so no, I won’t have 17 cats. I will have an extremely full life with good friends and acquaintances. We will do awesome stuff.

  • DahBoner
  • Vienna Woods

    “That’s why when an irresponsible man has a mid-life crisis he buys a motorcycle”

    Right. because no man in his 40’s/50’s has ever dropped his wife for a younger model. For. Fuck’s. Sake.

    • The Wanderer

      “Dropped his wife for a younger model.”

      Like our very own Preznit False Dmitri?

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      It’s genuinely frightening to realize that there are millions of people who actually think like that worthless asshole…and one of ’em is in the White House.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They can’t even see the obvious contradictions in their “thinking”.

  • Count Awesome

    “czarangelus” must be waiting for Trump to ruin the economy so that he can get a white redstate mail order bride.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    First off, all of this “new” racism is understandable to me (sort of), but where is all the anti-semitism coming from? These numbnuts obviously haven’t gotten the latest memo from Palin, and the other evangelicals, about how all Republicans now love the Jews. Although I find it disgusting, I’m hoping the resurgence of anti-semitism will start to peel off more of the “establishment” Republicans from the GOPee.

    On that note, I’ve found a remarkably effective technique for getting rid of our new alt right buddies who think Trump is going to “make America lousy for the blacks and the Jews again.” When they start blathering about how the Jews are plotting to take over the world, etc., etc., I casually bring up how thrilled they must be that Jared Kushner (orthodox Jew) and his Jewish wife (the former Miss Ivanka Trump) are going to be running the White House, which means THEY voted to put Jews in charge of the country. I’ve done this a few times, and they literally just run away. I’m beginning to think I’ve caused their heads to explode, since they never reply, and never return.

    • The Wanderer

      I shall adopt that line of argument. Thank you.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I use a similar line of argument about abortion with them. When they start bitching about the godless liberals aborting all the beautiful babies, I always point out to them that it’s wonderful that they won’t mind an increase in their taxes, since someone is going to have to pay for all that beautiful life, and I KNOW that since they love life so much, they’re going to want to provide for it. This always leaves them struggling for something to respond with.I also point out to them that 80% of abortions are performed on minority women, so I applaud their efforts to defeat racism.

        I infuriated my neighbor by saying this to him. He wandered off muttering about “it’s a moral issue.” Although he has never said anything overtly racist to me (he knows better), I KNOW that it bothered him to know that he’s fighting to have more minorities born in America. I guess my tactic is to use their own stupidity, racism, and anti-semitism against them.

        • Laffing Crow

          You rob them of their second stage shaming. They like to blame the women who do what they demand and give life to a beautiful little babby for:
          a) not keeping her knees together because she’s a slut
          b) bringing a child into the world that she can’t take care of
          c) costing them money because she’s a welfare queen freeloader
          d) all of them Katie

          This pisses them off a lot because they know they’ll sound like heartless assholes if they say, “Well, so what? She deserves it.” before they’ve been able to disconnect their demands for the beautiful, innocent life to be born, from the reality of it’s life once born, in their minds and yours. Oh, it’s a moral issue all right. An issue of the bad morals of women, who need to know both pre and post birth, just how morally bankrupt they are.

          Good fuckin’ strategy on your part! And now on mine. Thanks!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They can’t help it. The Jews are the ur-evil of the planet to them, it goes deep into Christian mythology from the very beginning, and the essential contradiction of their barnyard theology: that the Jews killed Jesus, making the resurrection possible and the entire “died for our sins” and redemption/eternal life fairy tale possible. These very stupid people are the core of the death cult.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        I have never been able to figure out that blatant contradiction. I want to ask: So you’re saying that it was wrong for the Jews (or anyone) to kill Jesus and deny you the resurrection and life everlasting? Is there a religious person out there who can explain that line of thought to me?

        • shivaskeeper

          Sure there are. But it won’t make sense if you try to apply logic to it.

        • Does not help them when you point out the romans crucified Jesus, because the Jews were not allowed to execute anyone.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Can’t blame the Romans. It would contradict the “What have the Romans ever done for us!” meme.

          • Laffing Crow

            Welease Bwian! Now you see how complicit they were ;)

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          While we’re at it, can a religious Republican explain this to me? There is ONE passage in the Bible about queering maybe isn’t so great (since humanity needed to populate thousands of years ago), there are ZERO passages about abortion, and there are DOZENS of passages about how rich people suck, yet evangelicals never focus on the latter. You’d think the latter would be the most important since the Bible is lousy with references to how money is the root of all evil.

          • Actually there is a passage about abortion. A complete how to abort if you think your wife cheated on you

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            There are a couple of passages that sort of touch on abortion, but none of them explicitly says “abortion is evil and bad.” In fact, the one the uses the most is always truncated, because the full passage says “if you’re important, I’ll save you.” I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist of it.

          • Laffing Crow

            Oh, so if thine neighbor’s planted seed offend thee, rip it out? No prob. Huh.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            They are not Christians. They are Mammon and Moloch worshipers.

          • doktorzoom

            John Scalzi calls ’em “Leviticans.”

        • Laffing Crow

          I’ve never gotten that either. Or the original sin crap. According to them, sin was required for humans to have a life on earth and in the everlasting. No sin = no life = no redemption. If the Jews killed Jesus, then it seems like they were doing God’s work by helping him snuff his Jewish son. Go figure, there’s a lot of contradictory thought in Christianity I guess.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Also, why the big hate hard-on for Judas? If Judas hadn’t betrayed Jesus, there’s no guarantee he would have been arrested and crucified, since the function Judas provided was to allow him to be captured in private where the masses couldn’t be stirred up, which the Pharisees wanted to avoid. Seems to me, Judas should be the holiest saint in Christianity for his sacrifice.

        • Laffing Crow

          OK, now I’m going to blaspheme big time. And it’s Sunday! It occurs to me that if God needed to sacrifice his son to give us life everlasting, (or alternately a trip downstairs to hellfire town), then a lot of time, trouble and pain could have been spared if Mary would have just had an abortion. I mean that whole Holy Ghost thing was a lot rapey anyway. But I guess that would have screwed up the whole PR campaign, no Apostles and all. Oh, yeah, and the crucifixion and resurrection. Gotta have something larger than this . to manage all of that. Not to mention how screwed up Christian jewelry would be. Never mind.

    • shivaskeeper

      Following their version of theology they don’t love or even like “the Jews”. They love Israel. Israel is needed for their end times prophecies to come true. Israel needs to be protected until the Temple is rebuilt at the minimum. The Jews are still hellbound Christ-Killers, other than the 144K singing male virgins of Revelation, but they have their part to play.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Yes! This is the only reason why all these RWNJ’s are so gung-ho about Israel lately…the rapture (now, where’s my helmet?) And they think Durr Trumpenstein is the second coming :(

        • Courser

          Personally, I have followed this line of thought and Trumpenfurer is the Anti-Christ, if anything, in that scenario. There’s simply no other way to see it if you actually figure in the features of the Anti-Christ. He sure as fuck isn’t the other guy.

          • The Wanderer

            I disagree. Trump is the Beast, while Pence is the Anti-Christ (he can project himself as “more reasonable”). Paula White, of course, is the False Prophet.

          • Courser

            That works for me too.

          • Rags

            DJT’s business dealings are the false profit.

          • MeerkatsRMammals

            I completely agree with you. However, dem doze guys have actually been quoted saying how “God sent Trump to save us” and other mind boggling comments along those lines.

        • Bad Tom

          I think it’s a different fluid emanating from Trump’s appendage.

      • UpstateNYObserver

        I always find the notion that Jews killed Christ amusing since it was a bunch of Italians (Romans) that ran the crucifixion concession in Israel back then. How come no one ever blames the army that drove the nails in? Or does this have something to do with who wrote the history after they got “religion”..

        • More like the Gospels were deliberately rewritten once Paul’s faction triumphed in the early Church and they found they needed to appeal to Romans, Greeks and other non-Jews.

      • Keith Taylor

        From any rational standpoint the whole Book of Revelation is a mass murderer’s LSD bad trip, but if you try to apply logic even to just one verse, the penultimate one, the King James Bible renders it, “He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.” The Book of Revelation was written by St. John the Divine some time late in the first century, on most estimates, so unless “I come quickly” means nineteen centuries and some change, the Use By date on that ran out long ago. Especially since Jesus himself, in the gospels, is cited as saying that he’d be back before all the people alive at the time had died.

    • ok that is Brilliant ^.^

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m pretty pleased with myself. I’ve used it a couple of times, and not one of them has ever responded. There was a particularly disgusting anti-semite here a few days ago, and I congratulated him profusely for appointing a young, Orthodox Jew from NJ and NY to run the country. Somehow these rednecks always forget Trump is from NY, but the minute you mention “NY Jew” to them, they practically melt. Talk about being special snowflakes!

  • For a buncha superior beings, they sure do whine a lot.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      a bunch of triggered little snowflakes

      • We should embrace the snowflake thing.
        A: each snowflake is an individual piece of art and beautiful- so compliment.
        B: individual snowflakes might be fragile- but combined with millions of other snowflakes, and we can shut down a city- so compliment again
        c:snowflake is another word for “white people” in some vernaculars, and considering these dipshits think white is right, they are giving a HUGE unintended compliment (from their POV).
        Therefore, we should embrace it :)

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Who posted the Snowflakes kill nazis tweet this morning? I can’t find it.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Damn, Jen. You serious about taking EVERYTHING away from them, aren’t you? The frog, the snowflake, what next???

      • shivaskeeper

        Does that mean we have to provide them safe spaces? Because I don’t want to.

    • Count Awesome

      I’m sure they would like some cheese with that whine.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Just like their cheeto-faced Führer.

    • ladyblug

      And sound stupid!

    • folderol

      Life has not gone well for the Uber-goobers. Here they are, superior to just about everyone, and despite that they are on the losing side of everything. How can this be? So unfair!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    czarangelus is just sad. Dude, she left you because you’re a whiny loser, not because of some goofy conspiracy. The longer you cling to those pathetic denials, the more likely it is yu will be the one thst ends up with 17 cats (assuming they don’t get sick of you too). And just stop with the pseudo science babbling, it’s just embarrassing. You somehow jumped from lungfish to white European phenotypes and left out several million steps in between.

    • coozledad

      white European phenotypes
      That was the original name for New Order.

      • SterWonk

        What do you have against Blue Monday and Bizarre Love Triangle?

        • coozledad

          They’re actually better than I remember them at the time, but I always liked Laurie Anderson’s joke about Bush’s “New World Order” sounding “like one of those synth bands where the guys all dress alike.”

    • SterWonk

      You somehow jumped from lungfish to white European phenotypes and left out several million steps in between.

      Many of which took place in Africa and the Middle East.

    • theCryptofishist

      Not to mention a few million years.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    I love that last guy who thinks ladies just go around throwing ourselves on random dicks. Many laughs. Much hysteria. That honestly makes me think he’s never had a relationship or he would know that’s not how any of that works. What a maroon!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Wait a minute. Are you saying that women don’t just throw themselves on random dicks? And I’ve been telling myself it was only a matter of time.

  • C4TWOMAN

    “I was hoping for an opportunity to expand
    on this! Think about the evolutionary history of human beings. If your
    tribe’s men lost on the battlefield, you could frequently expect the
    women to be seized as war brides. Strong kinship and loyalty ties are,
    for women, a genetic liability – the better you are able to cope with
    being made a warlord’s sex slave, the more likely you are to pass your
    own genes to the next generation. It’s not pretty but it’s the
    behavioral genome our ancestors gifted to us.

    Wow, it takes some serious ignorance to conflate our entire 200,000+ evolutionary history–where as social animals we were relatively low conflict and cooperative–with relatively recent and wildly misrepresented events of murderous conflict as proof of biological evolutionary truths that conveniently reinforce this idiots idea of how the wimmins work.

    Imma guessing alt-right MRA?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      of course- AKA losers with no girl friends

      • TJ Barke

        Losers with no girl friends libel!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          lol, not every single person is a loser and there are plenty of losers who do have girlfriends. The key takeaway here is that they are losers

      • theCryptofishist

        American Kennel Association?

    • shivaskeeper

      Of course Nazi/MRA loser. And I’ll wager actual money on the fact that he’s another one that thinks he would be on top if society collapsed and we went back to intertribal warfare or a warlord led society. Because being an internet troll grants you all the skills you need to take over during the coming apocalypse.

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        “Women will flock to me for my superior genes!”

        • shivaskeeper

          I have seen that line of thought. Along with their superior ability to be protectors and providers.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          Straight leg Levis or gtfo

      • Villago Delenda Est

        They always imagine they’ll be the feudal lords in the libertarian paradise.

        • shivaskeeper

          They do. Since the most recent post apocalyptic movie I have seen that I liked was Fury Road, and most of those assholes hate it because of strong female characters, I use it as an example.

          They all think they’ll be the Immortan Joe, and cannot conceive that they might be a War Boy at best, or more likely one of the Wretched at the base of the stronghold.

          • C4TWOMAN

            We had long convos about this at Av Club on the Walking dead threads about how Kirkman gets it wrong. We already know how people respond tragedy from the 9/11 attacks and other natural disasters: most people help each other out. Only a few are assholes, and they were probably assholes before the Zombie Apocalypse. The collapse of civilization just gave them an excuse. But they’d still be outnumbered and soon deaded if they decided to embrace the asshole lifestyle with no legal system to protect them, ie put them in prison.

            The “Mad Max” series works because it’s set in an extremely resource poor environment, though as I type this I wonder why most of those people don’t just move to the frikking coastal areas. At least there’s fish….

          • Villago Delenda Est

            If people behaved naturally, seeking food and abandoning the hellscape, you wouldn’t have a movie!

          • C4TWOMAN

            Thing is it would make an interesting story, one just has to move the center of the conflict from OMG WARLORDZ EVERYWHERE to plans to find and secure resources, perhaps some drama about who knows best, with a spicing ofwar loards those assholes on the other side of the hill who once in a while get away with stealing stuff. Should we ignore them? Strengthen defenses? Or stop them once and for all AKA kill them?

            Granted this would be a different kind of story, but it could be an excellent film. I don’t think anyone’s tried a plausible non ‘omg warlordz everywhere’ social collapes on the big screen. The closest I can think of is Cameron’s “Dark Angel” but that was a genre show.

          • SterWonk

            I haven’t gone back and watched it in years, but I remember liking Dark Angel, and being annoyed when it was cancelled. But then it was replaced by Firefly, which was even better! (Which of course was also cancelled…)

          • C4TWOMAN

            It’s kindoff a rule now: if it’s good FOX will cancel it.

          • SterWonk

            Hell, there’s even a trope about it, which specifically mentions Fox:

            Incidentally, many of these shows (including Trope Namer Firefly) were on Fox — basically because Fox was likely to give the sort of show that gets this effect an initial run, but tended to be too Nielsen-sensitive to be patient. Fox has recently been experimenting to test the nature of this effect, as evidenced by Fringe (which seems to have escaped this trope, airing for five seasons) and Dollhouse (if this trope can apply to a show that has run for more than one season, then Dollhouse is it).

          • Celtic_Gnome

            It started with the cancellation of Brisco County, Jr. Friday at 9:00 became known as the Brisco County Black Hole.

          • SterWonk

            AKA the Friday Night Death Slot

            The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. creator Carlton Cuse (Executive Producer of Lost) specifically blames this for the show’s demise. However, this is a strange example – the pilot movie was so popular, the network actually ordered additional episodes. Cuse blames the flawed ratings system for incorrectly counting the show’s fans, and unfortunately since it aired in the era before DVD releases gave a better gauge of popularity, it couldn’t be revived. (amusingly, the show Fox scheduled trying to get residual audience from Brisco County Jr. is listed in the Aversions folder)

          • shivaskeeper

            Total collapse would provide warlords with the space needed. I saw it in Iraq when W. dissolved the police and army there. Some are content with their little patch, some want more. Also see the rise of the Taliban in Afghanistan. The people didn’t agree with most of the Taliban’s outlook, methods, or theology, but they did provide stability. Enlarge that to a worldwide scale, with no outside resources to help mitigate the damage and it’s not to hard to conceive folks flocking to anyone who could provide stability. Stability is the key. The one in charge may be a brutal asshole, but today is pretty much the same as yesterday, and tomorrow is going to be the same as today. That is much preferable to chaos.

            As for the Mad Max movies word of God says it was a combination of societal collapse with environmental collapse as well. No fish left in the seas, the seas and oceans receding. Extreme weather, the whole 9 yards.

          • C4TWOMAN

            The problem is, especially in the Kirkman case, total social collapse doesn’t happen over night. There would be ample time for people to organize into protective groups. We’re also talking about a very resource rich environment, not at all like a semi arid mono-climate. We have observed exactly how people behave during disasters when the power goes out for weeks at a time. It strains credibility that a weak government is going to make warlords mushroom all over the place in mere months. Okay I exaggerate a bit, they don’t mushroom, but Kirkman barely even tries to address the fact many people might just stay put in their neighborhoods and put up walls. Correction he has exactly one community do that..but no one else had that idea? For realz?

            The real reason is most of the dsytopia writers are white males from economically privileged backgrounds in first world countries, processing their nihilistic fears. They have little to no direct experience with people doing okay with less infrastructure. To paraphrase one commenter, it was understandable before the 9/11 attacks. After that it’s just self indulgent bullshit. Usually it’s entertaining bullshit, but there’s a point a situation or character strains our suspension of disbelief so much we gotta call it out. Case in point: Negan.

          • shivaskeeper

            I see where you’re coming from.

          • doktorzoom

            Interesting! Linky to one of the better threads? (He asked, knowing full well he should spend LESS time on the computer). And has anyone brought up Octavia Butler’s terrific Parable of the Sower in those discussions?

          • C4TWOMAN

            *adds to reading list*
            I don’t remember anyone bring up that work, but these were mondo long threads. Back before the “Glen and the Magic Dumpster” event drove fans away. I’ll try to dig around later for a linky—I fear if I just scroll down my feed, my browser will collapse the way disqus has been acting up.

            I also too should be spending less time online. In fact right now I should be doing a 7 mile run…
            *whistles somewhat chagrined*

          • C4TWOMAN

            Okay, I couldn’t find the thread. This is the best I can do:

            http://avclub.com/tv/the-walking-dead/

            I’m pretty sure it was one of the Season 6 threads, maybe spring of 2016?
            Try not to waste too much time on the Intertubes. =^-^=

          • Courser

            Exactly! I mean really, what skilz do these jerkwads think they have that would be useful in a post-apocalyptic world? Sittin’ in mama’s basement ain’t gonna cut it. Bitching and whining just makes you insufferable to those around you.

          • shivaskeeper

            They do get rage strokes when you point that out to them. The can’t build or fix anything. They can’t grow anything, They can’t make anything, They can’t refine raw materials into anything. They can’t in fact do anything with the lack of skills they have.

          • Courser

            I’ve bitched an awful a lot about the bad part of my youth, but I’ll tell you what. I was taught all the basic skills of living as a little girl. Growing things, woodworking, how to fit parts together to create something and ALL the domestic skills, including the fine arts of needlework and crocheting (grandma died before she could teach me knitting) AND a truly Lost Art – How to Darn a Sock. In high school and college, I rebuilt my own auto engine when it broke down. Yes, from a short block back up. I’ve raised and trained dogs, llamas and horses in my middle years.

            And in the big scheme of things I’m not THAT old, at 58. Yet so few people young people get to learn this stuff anymore. And nobody lived on a farm, even.

          • shivaskeeper

            I have a quite a few similar skills and a others as well that would be useful after the collapse.

            Granted not a lot of the skills are taught anymore because they don;t have to be. I’ve rebuilt engines, but the owners manual I got with my first car specified a complete rebuild or new engine every 50-60K miles. Modern cars don’t need that kind of maintenance. The repair skills get pushed aside because it’s generally cheaper to replace something than repair it.

            But these clowns have no skills at all that would be useful in the world they envision themselves ruling. It is hilarious to me.

            Also, too, how do you train a llama? They are some of the most disagreeable critters I’ve ever worked with. I’ve trained horses, mules, and dogs, but never a llama. Where I am llamas are generally used by people to protect their goats from coyotes and feral dogs because they are vicious as hell.

          • Courser

            I think it depends a lot on the stock you begin with. Ex-bf and a girlfriend of mine co-bought two females; Foen was ‘Bird-leg’ type and Keona was a show/fiber type. Bird-leg llamas are taller and sleeker with long legs and are valued as pack animals; Show/fiber llamas are shorter and stockier with fuller, thicker coats (good for their wool, basically). Either type is good for stock protection, also popular here. Ex-bf wanted pack llamas for hunting and camping.

            Foen was a very mellow, sweet llama. She might not let you catch her easily, but she was always curious, coming up to check you out, see if you had food, etc. All her babies were the same way. Not evil at all, and ‘training’ was really just getting them halter and lead trained, then training hikes. Llamas can carry more weight for size than horses, their feet don’t tear up trails, feed is MUCH less an issue and they do NOT lose their minds the way horses can. Plus, if they do, or you lose one along the way, they’re likely to be in your camp the next morning. Once, Lorenzo (I had no problems with him but he had issues with Ex) got completely uncooperative in a snowstorm and E had to just take him out of the string of 4 and continue on without him. He made camp not far away in the first available place. Next morning, Lorenzo was kushed down with the rest of them.

            Keona on the other time could be a cast iron bitch. She was the only one of them that would spit. Even then, most of the time it was just air. I only saw her do the Evil Spit when we’d grab her newborns and take them into the barn to check them out.

            Too many people try to make pets of them because the babies are so cute. But really, they’re like other livestock. Yes, they are very different from other livestock. They can be extremely stubborn and hitting them accomplishes nothing. I think that’s why Lorenzo had issues with E. Greg hit him a few times and I think his attitude went to “fuck you” pretty quickly when pressured. But still, he didn’t spit. He’d just kush down and ignore you.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Whereas – it’s like rain on your wedding day! – we’ve seen the feudal lords, and they’re a couple of fat old men, a mummified italian, some jews and a gay guy.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        But they have such mad skillz on all the first person shooter games!

      • If you think about it, they are basically saying that women do not need them to protect and provide anymore, so therefore they are really saying women are now equals.

        • shivaskeeper

          I try not to think about it, but what they are really saying is the women flock to the better protectors. Which I guess means they are admitting shit at being protectors and providers right now.

          I think you just made me blow my own mind.

          • When you follow the logic path they lay down, with their own words, the only conclusion you can reach is they are saying they themselves are undesirable to women.

      • Courser

        Well and I really don’t understand the reasoning of these misanthropes who think they will have all the hot women they want in that scenario. Sorry no, you would be a powerless, landless serf, just like 90% of the rest of the folks.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      MRA is a gateway drug to alt-right neo-Naziism.

  • Tiny kaiju

    czarangelus seems like a nice fucking moron.

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

    “You do sort of have to wonder what’s going on in the head of someone who’s so insistent that racism is over, but can’t seem to stop insisting The Blacks are lazy shiftless apes.”

    You’re right Dok, I do. Let’s find out!

    http://toolguyd.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Milwaukee-M18-Fuel-Sawzall-Recip-Saw.jpg

    • coozledad

      You’ll need a couple extra batteries.Them heads is thick.

    • Courser

      I like the way you think Kiri! I have an awesome power drill we can use to make exploratory openings!

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        I hear trepanation will help demons escape your brains…

        • The Wanderer

          I’ll get my Dremel set.

  • azeyote

    how do some guys equate themselves being a whiny little bitch to being anything other than a whiny little bitch –

  • Thaumaturgist

    Criticizing Trump = treason; combining with the FSB and GRU to win an American election = US Constitution in action.

    • Count Awesome

      “Red Dawn” won’t happen with russkies invading, it’s a lot cheaper to just compromise a candidate and help him win.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      This! This is very concerning. He was only sworn in Friday. The very next day, he made the Nat’l Parks take down Inaugural pic comparison, insulted the media, and millions of ladies (gentlemen & children) who showed up to fight for our rights. Not to mention his “press secretary” also insulting the media & telling them how they should report the news? This is not a good way to start things off.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trumpanzees: “Donald Trump knows real pain and suffering. While in school, he felt like he was in the War in Vietnam.”

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      You never hear the venereal disease with your name on it.

      • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

        In Trump’s case, he heard of it: Donorrhea.

      • eggsacklywright

        Golf clap?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Officers get urinary tract infections. NCOs get venereal diseases. The troops get the clap.

          • theCryptofishist

            Please clap.

    • weejee

      NRA Jebus has tRump’s back.

  • weejee

    Those with extreme fears of the NAZIJEWZ and BLAHRACISTS must be having a real sad over yesterday’s millions of marching pussy hats. Must be live video Photoshopping to inflate all the crowds everywhere all at the same time. Adobe must be so very proud of that new feature.

  • nightmoth

    To anybody who talks trash about American Hero John Lewis: I piss on you from a great height after first drinking a quart of asparagus juice. I would say more, but, “commenting rules.”

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Will you be singing Russian folk songs while you do it? Some people would find that hot.

  • TJ Barke

    The Donald Trump inauguration and Nazi Jamboree…

    • Shucky Ducky

      Hey TJ, come sit next to me on the Group W bench. I saved you a seat.

      • TJ Barke

        I don’t get that reference.

        • Shucky Ducky

          Sorry, I thought we were doing Alice’s Restaurant.

  • Lizzietish81

    No love for the guy who had a hard on for ASsange? He was pretty low energy.

    • No. We will love nothing about Assange

    • Wonder what the wiki fans lefter than thous think NOW that wiki attacked the woman’s march- and more, their right to march in the first place?

      • SterWonk

        Wikileaks attached the marches? Links?

        • theCryptofishist

          *whew* for a second there I thought it was wikipedia.

  • cheetojeebus

    I got as far as the Dr Zaius shit and had to stop, Zoom, you’re a better man than me.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I bet you good money that czarangelus, who is upset that his wife left him, is first in line to criticize women who stay in abusive relationships. I am really sick of hearing people ask “Why did she stay with that abusive man?” – it’s called economic inequality, and political disempowerment, and the cultural and religious denigration of women, folks. Obviously czarangelus’s wife escaped from those shackles, and I say good for her.

    • That is the only silver lining when these guys show up.
      for every one of them, there is another woman who escaped her prison

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That would make a good t-shirt logo: “I escaped my prison – I divorced the bastard.”

  • beingreleased

    “Dave Stallman” was also very angry that people on Wonkette hide behind screen names, which makes their opinions completely invalid.

    My father soontobereleased takes offense at that statement.

  • Mike Steele

    We HAVE evolved. Why, this very morning, Chuck Todd finally called out that paragon of white perpetuation, KaC, on her use of the phrase ‘alternative facts’. He posited that such things do not exist in our solar system, and are actually ‘falsehoods’. Now, if we could get MSM to start referring to this administration and Congressional cycle as ‘Lyin’ Team Trump’ we will have advanced civilization by quantum leaps and bounds:)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s so bad that even Chuckles the Toddler notices. That’s how bad it is.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Was the guy who founded Intel also a refugee?

    • SterWonk

      Which means he stole a job from a Reel ‘Murican!

  • coozledad

    knowing that there’s always another dick she can throw herself on…
    and not every game of horseshoes involves a 2-inch stake.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      When did the manly assholes switch over from evolutionary biology says I must be a whore to evolutionary biology says you must be a whore? Like being on the receiving end of penetrative sex is so uniquely degraded that you’d have to be a terrible, twisted person to be interested.

      I think it’s linked to the homophobia too. Imagine their utter gutbusting terror at the idea of someone wanting to stick the magic fleshwand of supremacy in them.

      I figure that’s why Milo can’t shut the fuck up about what a bottom he is.

      • Tiny kaiju

        Yeah, I thought it was always about the males spread their genetic material all over the place. Mostly on rocks, in trees, passing herbivores and the like.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I think it’s a necessary adjustment due to their status as men who must brutally take what is theirs because chicks are hogging all the pussy and not giving it up to Nice Guys.

          I find it amusing that they simultaneously find participation trophies offensive, because you’re NOT ENTITLED TO WIN JUST FOR SHOWING UP.

          • Shan

            You mean showing up with a penis.

          • theCryptofishist

            And I thought it was just that evolutionary biology, while possibly an interesting idea to have serious thought and research on, is basically used to prop up what ever sagging piece of their default ideology is currently causing them distress.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            👍🏻👍🏼👍🏽👍🏾👍🏿

      • Villago Delenda Est

        OF COURSE it’s linked to homophobia. Scratch a homophobe, find a closeted asshole who can’t pick up a same-sex date in a biker bar at closing.

    • Laffing Crow

      “Always ANOTHER dick”. But not his. Never his.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    a neo-Nazi website that thinks it’s the height of pro-white activism to spam comments sections

    That’s all of them, isn’t it?

    It’s odd how the jews have managed to maintain family units as a matrilineal culture. They’ve run into a lot of warlords.

    • Tiny kaiju

      It must kill them to think a Jew will be the real power behind the throne of their favorite Dumpster Fire.

      • The Wanderer

        They just shut it out.

        • Tiny kaiju

          We’re going to need to remind them. Divide and conquer! Or at least confuse and annoy.

          • The Wanderer

            I was born annoying and confusing people. I enjoy it.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        A few, actually. And when you consider where Bannon’s scratch comes from, they owe this all to Jerry Seinfeld (and Julia Louis Dreyfuss, who’s worth upwards of $4 billion as a child of the vast shadowy international conspiracy).

        At least they’ll always have Michael Richards, neh?

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Y’all, I have a confession. My name isn’t really Granny Sprinkles. My name is actually Bad Granny. It’s just that one of you excellent people said something that reminded me of Annie Sprinkle and it made me giggle so I changed my user name as an homage to which ever one of you guys it was, but hell if I remember who it was. (Don’t tell the others, but it was you, you’re my favorite)

    • BloviateMe
    • Courser

      I remember Annie Sprinkle! Trumpsterfire would *love” her

      • Granny Sprinkles

        The feminist bit might be a problem.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          yup, she’d scare him to death

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Oh – so that’s what happened.

      Yesterday’s march was one big Annie Sprinkle cervix-spectacular.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        I might have to copyright that.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Either way, it’s great to have you non-commenting on the mommyblog/dick joke emporium!

  • BloviateMe

    I imagine there’s nothing a coward hates more than a man or woman of actual conviction and courage. Where we may see someone we should strive to be like, they see a threat to their true natures via comparison.

  • RobKanC

    George Washington 1753, fights against French for defending British territory.
    George Washington 1775, Allies with the French to take British territory.

    • George Washington: eventually abandons the French to their revolution

      • RobKanC

        Ah yes, the original republican ideology of “I got mine, fuck you”

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Vecchioivan

      “America’s best Christian.”

      • Paulinelcastillo

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !uz223c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !uz223c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash513TopUniqueGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!uz223c:….,……

      • eka

        funny, i’ve only studied christianity as an outsider, but this doesn’t sound like anything jesus would support.

        could somebody please explain the relationship between christ and christianity?

  • Daisy

    The ones yammering in about “preserving the white race” always gross me out so much. Just yuck!

  • Jenny

    Lol @ Czar what’s his face… Couldn’t keep his bitch in line?!?! What a cuck!

  • Hutch

    Gad! Neoprene gloves and gas mask indeed!

  • So. Who’s gonna hire Lin Manuel to write the musical about the current revolution? (Full disclosure: listening to the Valley Forge demo from the Mixtape)

  • weejee
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If Lewis is such a badass why are all the Dems protecting like he’s a retarded younger sister

    People tend to like standing up for those who tell truth to power, Dave Stallman. You’re welcome.

    Seems to me Lewis is a thin skinned primadonna.

    A Donald supporter wants to talk about someone being thin skinned?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a966d120dd66017ac428635fbc421beef56fe833beb142f5b90f893ede94e6e9.jpg

    • They’re just trying to turn the left’s insult of thin skinned don the con around.
      Won’t work considering the guy they are trying to apply it to is a badass

    • Thaumaturgist

      Frankly, some of us rose to John Lewis’ defense to try to catch some of his shade.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    OT, but the NYT crossword puzzle had both “Ann Coulter” and “muslin” as answers today (my local paper publishes the puzzle a week late, x-word pedants!). I refuse to believe this is a coincidence.

  • Nockular cavity

    ME: “Oh yeah? Well, I happen to have Dr. Zaius right here.”
    ZAIUS: “You know nothing of my work. I don’t like humans, of any color.”

    • The Wanderer

      “Rock me, Doctor Zaius.” Great Falco song.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Can I play the piano anymore?”
        “Of course you can!”
        “But I couldn’t before!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    LEWIS IS THE RACIST

    Right, because the fact that he is refusing to grant legitimacy to a person who got into the White House due to foreign hacking and improper FBI intervention means that John Lewis hates white people. Makes perfect sense!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8c1e8f8ea17fbbb9bb44a01a4dbb1b9eb2957a33c949a8c48f8dd8a446af4fd3.jpg

  • Shoto
  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Hey! I guessed my small town had around 2000, and that’s what the spreadsheet said. Also, it sounds like if you average the high and low estimates you get around 4 million (or if using Trump math – 20,000 bitches).

  • Scrofula

    “. . . [[P]ointing out Lewis’s skull was fractured in the Selma march:] It’s over once it heals.”
    Spoken like someone who’s just “not been the same” since he wrecked his motorcycle twenty years ago.

    • The Wanderer

      This fucker needs to be introduced to Gary Busey.

      • yyyaz

        Harsh, but fair.

  • pgjack

    czarangelus will never find a woman to share his life. There is no woman stupid enough to put up with a man who blasts his ignorance through a megaphone.

    • Thaumaturgist
    • Count Awesome

      Melania seems ok with it

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        She’s getting well paid for her servility.

        • Ωbjectifier

          She’s getting well paid for her servilityservice to the motherland

          FIFY.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            that too…

        • Pisto75666

          But if the money stops or one check doesn’t clear…..oh boy.

      • suziq

        Actually, she isn’t moving into the White House and doesn’t seem to be around much. Of course she HAD to show up for inauguration day stuff. Will be interesting to see what happens when school is out. Besides, she can work against cyber-bullying from NYC.

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          I looked at her bio on whitehouse.gov and her history of charity work doesn’t, to me, bespeak a person who has causes about which she is particularly passionate or deeply involved. Aside from mentioning cyberbullying as an interest, I don’t think she has actually done anything or aligned herself with any organization that works on that topic. Since she didn’t sign up to be a political wife, I wouldn’t be surprised (nor critical) if she continued to keep a low profile.

          • suziq

            I agree, she never signed up for that. And I wonder if that cyber bullying thing is trolling Donald anyway, because really?? Also though, wasn’t she going to prove that she didn’t work when she came over on a visitor visa but never did? There are just soooooooo many things it is hard to decide what to focus on. I guess if Melon leaves us alone I am willing to leave her alone.

        • theCryptofishist

          Yeah, I suspect that Ivanka was drafted to pee in the Obamas’ bed.

          • suziq

            Ivanka probably does whatever daddy says. Ew.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      She was probably a battered woman, and it took her a while to get up the courage to leave him, which is puzzling, since he seems so delightful!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Yeah, look me up in the phone book any time, Dave Stallman. And it’s MISTER Punkindrublic to you, bitch.

  • BMW

    “I disagree with what this person said, but I can make my point without insulting them personally,” said no Trump supporter, ever.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    He is someone who thinks he can do whatever he wants and say whatever stupid things he wants to because he was hit a couple of times when he was younger.

    Yes, how dare John Lewis think that he is a free American? Next time, he’s got to seek permission before he does something!!!

    http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g246/sey115/notmakingany_zps69a10c97.gif

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Well, you know, freedom of speech doesn’t apply to libtards, particularly when they’re criticize something I said.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And then there’s Maude!

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “Why won’t those stupid, lazy blacks realize that racism is dead?”

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Probably because all of their Obamaphones were seized by Trump yesterday, and nobody can get the word to them.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Wait. How are people going to see Trump’s Tweets if he takes all their Obamaphones?

        • theCryptofishist

          And how can he grab all those Obamaphones with his tiny fingers?

    • azeyote

      something about watermelons fried chicken welfare queens – or just the fact that they had it good as slaves – it’s that new alternate fact thing kellyanne just gave us out of the hugeness of her love, that’s bigger than the sky and deeper than the sea – she should be in la la land as a cameo –

  • WeaselPoo

    Yeah, why WOULD any man want to carry on thousands and thousands of years of genetic heritage going all the way back to when the first lungfish crawled out of the swamp and flapped, heaving for breath on dry land?

    Umm…while flapping about and heaving for breath are common aspects of ‘race-preservation activities’ there’s a bit more to it than that.

    • yyyaz

      And “thousands and thousands of years,” or at least six of them, lulz.

  • Michael R
    • The Wanderer

      Third point’s a given.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      This made me LOL.

    • CripesAmighty

      Srsly. Some intrepid npr reporter interviewed a some of ’em. Sounded like a bunch of pimply 12 year old internet trolls: ‘We OWNED Twitter… hurr. hurr.’

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Rep John Lewis is a grifter who makes living selling white boogyman fear porn

    White boogyman fear porn? Is that a new fetish I’ve not heard of? Does it involve toys?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Checked out Pornhub, would fap again. ;-)

    • Tiny kaiju

      I’ll refer you to my new favorite website. NSFW and I apologize if anthropomorphic toys are disturbing.
      http://bad-dragon.com

      • The Wanderer

        I have a plush Bad Dragon mascot.* Fun site, eh?

        *with no SPH or SPA, thank you

      • Courser

        Oh my! I may need to do further ‘research’ on that site. Yeah…

        • Tiny kaiju

          It is really cool. The Lab lets you vote on designs they will make in the future. And the colors! So many awesome colors!

          • Courser

            I’ll be in my bunk

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “I was in a relationship for 15 years that I intended to carry on for life. But because society revolves around the wants of women rather than the needs of stable social units, she saw fit to pack up stakes and leave, knowing that there’s always another dick she can throw herself on without any fear of being called out for her selfishness. For a time, anyway. When she’s 50 and no longer attractive and the only thing that cares to keep her company are 17 cats, that’s when the regret sets in. It’s not “justice,” but it’s the closest thing we’ll ever get.”

    …and now I understand the alt-right! Shorter version: Bitches just ain’t loyal!

    • Ayep! Scratch an alt righter and find someone who some woman left.
      Rather than figure out what is wrong with them and fix that, or accept that yes, some women be bitches, they blame everyone else.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        “I don’t know when women got so sensitive and bitchy. I slapped her around a few times, and the bitch just left me!”

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Left him for a black dude.

        • VagendaofNastyWoman

          Or another woman. They really hate that.

          • Querolous

            How about black woman? Or is that only 3/5 as bad?

    • Scrofula

      That’s why they use “cuck” as an insult.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I can’t imagine why she might have left this prize.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        She obviously knows NOTHING about biology, and her moral imperative to mate for life with a blowhard dipshit.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      And what a catch he was! Gee, I can’t ever see why she would run away screaming.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He’s such a deep thinker, I don’t see how she couldn’t have been fascinated by his insights. I just hope she’s happy with her new lover, Samantha!

    • BeachBum

      And wise up.

  • Scrofula

    “. . . perpetuation of humanity and the unique phenotypes of Europe in particular. Like, isn’t the new color of my nails just like, so much more important?”
    Nah, dude. My “unique” blondish hair really is only as important as my nail color.

    (Not to mention stuff like my blue eyes don’t disappear if I’d made babbies with my brown ex. It’ll pop up again in a generation or two, mixed with other unique phenotypes, and be far more interesting.)

  • Jonny On Maui
  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Let’s face it. We are fucking doomed. A large minority of the electorate is STUPID and going to drag the majority down. Fuck you, you dipshits!

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      just sayin’

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Not if we don’t let them!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      The thing is, a large minority of the electorate has always been stupid. At times in the past, our leadership has compensated for that, but our current leadership is not doing their job.

      • So, it is up to us.
        I refuse to accept DOOMED. We are only so, if we give up.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Yes, it is up to us. And I agree with you, we are not doomed, except maybe in the short-term (can one be short-term doomed? Not sure), like for the next 2 years until the next Congressional elections. I have already written about 20 letters and about 100 e-mails, with more to come, no doubt. It’s a good thing I type 110 wpm. I just wish I had some money, so I could donate it to the right causes, but alas, I don’t, and if they butcher Social Security and Medicare I will have even less, which is of course one reason why the Repuglies want to do that.

          • I like that, short term doomed XD
            It is gonna suck, ain’t gonna lie. We’re going to have to grasp at hope in small bits here and there. We’re also going to suffer, probably a lot.
            I think you will be safe from the SS/medicare purges for now- all the indications are that until the boomers stop being a voter block, they will grandfather them in.
            Not to be cynical but I think they are just waiting for enough of you to die off before they axe it entirely.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            The interesting thing is that I do not think the Boomers will live as long as their parents did, due to differences in diet and lifestyle. My parents and all their siblings and in-laws all lived to be 90 or more, even though they lived through the Great Depression and were very poor and worked very hard physically and participated in WWII. All my same-age friends’ parents and aunts and uncles are living past age 90. I do not think I or my siblings and friends will live that long. . . we ate too much crap when we were growing up and we consumed antibiotics like they were candy and we don’t get enough exercise – and we have too much faith in modern medicine, which is a big mistake.

    • Nockular cavity

      At least one in every hundred Americans got out and marched against Trump yesterday. Take heart in that.

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      We are not doomed. The march yesterday sent a message to politicians and to Cheetoh Jeebus himself. We are watching, we are organizing, and we will peacefully resist.
      To quote Jim Wright “If you want a better country, be a better citizen”.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Spanish PePe, (((I))) would like to tell you that (((I))) think you are A Idiot. And (((I))) am not taking your pill, red or otherwise. In conclusion, (((I))) will gladly block anyone who spews the craptastic views you have.

  • bookish

    Clinton: never stop believing.

    http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/hillary-clintons-personal-march-on-washington?mbid=gnep&intcid=gnep&google_editors_picks=true

    It was hard to tell what message Hillary Clinton sent at the Inauguration beyond her sense of duty. (“I’m here to honor our democracy & its enduring values,” she tweeted. “I will never stop believing in our country & its future.”) It was strange to note that among the names of feminists in history that were being honored at the Women’s March on Washington—from Gloria Steinem to Diane Nash to Harriet Tubman—Clinton was not among them. But neither was Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Clinton has probably run her last political campaign, but her appearance at Trump’s Inaugural makes it plain that a retreat to the woods is not an option.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I don’t know what march you were at, but the one I was at was pretty much wall to wall Clinton pins, hats, and t-shirts.

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      I am distantly related to Cady Stanton (The Cadys are an interesting clan- most of them are descended from one man who came to this country as part of the Puritan migration)
      She is not as famous because she was not able to travel like Susan B Anthony, and Cady Stanton didn’t feel that she had the same agency to engage in acts of civil disobedience. She had a loving marriage and several children, which, in those days, confined her to home. She could, however write, and did.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Omg! maybe they succeed… jews actually did it with interratial couples via MTV

    I remember that asshole. Never did get an answer when I pointed out to it that interracial couples (as opposed to interratial ones, whatever the fuck those are) existed well before MTV FFS.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Loving v. Virginia was back in the 60’s.

      • Movie wasn’t bad either

      • Tiny kaiju

        Is that where they got their tourism motto “Virginia is for Lovers” ?

      • An Egyptian princess reproduced with an Italian dude like 2000 years ago, give or take

        • theCryptofishist

          All their kids were killed. Darwin says: No go.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I thought “interratial” relationships involved rodents.

      • Tiny kaiju

        Or fractions.

      • BeachBum

        The little ones only. Not the R.O.U. S. of course. That would be GROSS.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not to mention that the only artist not of the white rate to appear on MTV for years and years was Sylvester, who was not really the breeding type. And, the only jewish vj is still defending that.

    • BeachBum

      I are confused. Does this mean that MTV (which has no music) is now the arbitrator of social norms and conventions ? Like the 14th century popes ?

      • theCryptofishist

        Ah, the common thread is Gregorian Chants.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I wonder if there is a “farmers only” type singles site for dating pigs and sheep? If so, “Czarangelus” should check it out….though I suspect even our ovine friends would find him repugnant.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Well, any farmers-only dating site is going to have to contend with the lesbian demographic moving in to take over the farms of good, honest Americans*.

      Note: lesbians aren’t “real” Americans.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I had forgotten all about the lesbian takeover of the agricultural heartland! I’m sure Trump will continue the subsidies for them.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    [Obama] will be remembered as the “Worst President in History”

    That was remotely possible until yesterday.

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      About that. I engage with these people from time to time, although I’m not sure why. I asked him to provide some facts to back up that statement, like, for example, statements from actual historians.
      When I asked him for sources for some of his other assertions, ultimately the answer was “you can google it”. It’s always “you can google it” or “watch this video on YouTube ”
      I can google “Earth is flat” and come up with tons of time wasting crap, too.

    • theCryptofishist

      Now, he’ll be remembered as the poor fellow sandwiched between them.

  • o’look Skwerl!

    “Dave Stallman” was also very angry that
    people on Wonkette hide behind screen names, which makes their opinions
    completely invalid.

    Wait? People here aren’t using their government names?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Check the flag for fringe.

    • Treg Brown

      *cough*

    • BeachBum

      My moniker is because I am poor and like the ocean. But in Oklahoma I is a Coastal Elite. I did not know that until last year.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Are you in Oklahoma? Once the Reps have been in power for a few years, you’ll probably have oceanfront property, so kudos to you for getting in ahead of the gold rush! I myself am sitting on prime seaside property in central Kentucky.

        • theCryptofishist

          I’m in California, so I’ll be flooded out. Luckily, I’m a fish, so I’ll be okay.

    • Serai 1

      I’m using the name assigned to me. Says so on my security pass. Goddammit, have they changed the passes again? WHY DOESN’T ANYONE TELL ME THESE THINGS???

  • Bob Mahnken

    SNCC. Not SCLC (that was King.)

    • doktorzoom

      Damn me for thinking I could remember things! Thanks, and Fixed!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    You’ve been evolutionary optimized to be marginally-bonded sluts and generally speaking you completely lack the loyalty/ingroup axis of morality. That’s why when an irresponsible man has a mid-life crisis he buys a motorcycle; when an irresponsible woman has a mid-life crisis, she burns down her family unit and goes out in search of what we call a “Chad.”

    Oh, don’t be silly. We are in search of a “Rod,” or perhaps a “Brad,” czarangelus. But Marginally-Bonded Sluts is yet another good band name, so thanks for sharing your deep thoughts!

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      They just like “hanging Chads.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      And of course he has no responsibility for the choices he made in choosing to align with his Marginally-Bonded Slut and throughout the relationship. Innocent victim, he is.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Somebody please tell my husband of 38 years that when he walked out on me that he was doing it backwards.

    • Tetsu Kaba

      Derp thoughts

  • VagendaofNastyWoman

    “When she’s 50 and no longer attractive….”
    I can’t see what about you would have made her want to leave. And 17 cats would have been a much better relationship choice to begin with. It would’ve saved this poor woman, whoever she was a lot of grief.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      I honestly think a lot of the alt-right is made up of dudes who either failed in a relationship or are so socially awkward that they hid away from women (many who are also, you know, socially awkward).

      It’d be sad if they weren’t such a nasty pack of assholes.

      • Scrofula

        Funny how I myself was an awkward unattractive guy, and yet when I accepted that fact, and relaxed about it, women actually talked to me. I even got to have sex with them!

        • VagendaofNastyWoman

          Funny how bitterness and anger are not usually attractive traits to potential partners.

          • Scrofula

            In defense of bitter teen boys, the media fucks them over too. I saw my love handles and zits and pointy nose as dooming me to chastity.
            Then I realized it’s as much how you carry yourself and [gasp] talk to folks that make a person attractive.
            Not every kid gets the message.

        • BeachBum

          Some yokel once said “the truth shall set you free” or something.
          I think I was hungover one Sunday morning !

    • BeachBum

      I, for one, have no problem with 50 and 17 cats. As long as she’s not a Republican.

      • VagendaofNastyWoman

        The world is filled with hot 50 year old women. Some of them even have cats.

    • Shan

      Who says 50 isn’t attractive? Dumb shits should BE so lucky to live to 50!

      • Scrofula

        That’s how we know this fucker is like 27 and it was 15 months, not 15 years.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I kinda doubt it was even 15 months. I’d say he’s been obsessing over a girl from junior high for fifteen years. No woman would have lasted more than a year or two around this doofus.

          • Scrofula

            Yeah, he was shivering and trying to get the courage to ask her to the after-school dance when Chad bounced in and done stole her! And he’s been brooding and beating himself (both ways) over her year book photo ever since.

      • o’look Skwerl!

        Yeah. I dig 50 year old chicks.
        Sexxxy 50 year old celebs:
        http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/31/entertainment/gallery/celebs-turning-50-in-2016/

      • suziq

        Hate to point this out, but didn’t Kellyanne just turn 50?

  • Tallmutha

    I’m getting sick of this shit. Trump made it clear for months before Election Day that if he were to lose, he had every intention of inciting his fans to riot over the “rigged” vote. If Hillary had been sworn in on Friday we would be in for four years of “Illegitimate Hillary” from 2/3 of the nation. The only difference is that we actually have some evidence on which an argument can be based that Trump’s victory was illegitimate.

    Christ, you know the Presidential Aging Effect? 4 years from now, Trump is probably going to look about as awful as he does now but we’ll all look 20 years older.

    • Scrofula

      Don’t forget him openly suggesting “2nd amendment solutions”.

    • shivaskeeper

      He looked rough during his presser at Langley. The makeup people could not hide the bags and darkness under his eyes.

      That was not even 24 hours. In 4 years he’ll look like the Crypt-Keeper.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        But more soulless.

    • Take heart in the knowledge that this time? For all their bluster? For all their tantrums and whines?
      They know they are out numbered and that they only “won” through a series of shady shit and that they are not, after all, getting what they want. They know these things hence the lashing out and whines to unite.
      Makes it easier to point and laugh

    • The Wanderer

      Protest marching will be great exercise. And you get a better tan than Trump’s.

    • o’look Skwerl!
      • Tallmutha

        See? About as awful as he does now.

    • doktorzoom

      The American Population of Dorian Grey?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I was in a relationship for 15 years that I intended to carry on for life. But because society revolves around the wants of women rather than the needs of stable social units, she saw fit to pack up stakes and leave

    Gee, I wonder why she walked out the door…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/61a873ea74dd069707061ca7fafba141ddb8c880f1de335082ec81642a641b60.jpg

    • Drunk Leslie Knope is another role model of mine

    • snark-lurker

      hay i rezembal that remarck

    • suziq

      Can’t believe any woman would stay with him 15 years. Is he getting things mixed up in his mind and thinking of his mom or sister or something? Just the 15 years part, obviously he hasn’t actually had sex with anyone.

  • shoeflyin

    On topic even, note the sign quoting John Lewis center right (also one quoting St. Francis!). I am sure, here in Atlanta and around the world, John Lewis was an inspiration to many marchers. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bba44550bb109355e3addda79d8fd0bae4e907ba2bbe011e31e3d260355366ca.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      LOVE the sign on the far left.

      • shoeflyin

        Yes there were many on that theme also!

    • shoeflyin

      Rep. Lewis was actually here and led the march, but I was too far away to hear any speeches or see him. As I said to Cynmac, I’m not going to complain about how big the crowd was.

    • Serai 1

      Totally overshadowed for me by that viagra one. LOL. That’s good.

  • Scrofula

    I like how the last dude bitches cause his gf left him for “Chad” because she had a midlife crisis (he just bought a manly motorcycle), now she’s full of regret because she’s surrounded by cats, at the ancient age of 45.
    Of course, he just whines in online forums about cunts and bitches.
    Has he thought that maybe they could give it another shot now that their “midlife crises” are over?
    They probably could if he hadn’t fucked it up and earned a few restraining orders.

    • Serai 1

      No, of course not. She’s sullied now by the semen of another male. Thus she does not deserve his Mighty Wang.

      • Scrofula

        He tells his buddies, before he goes home and fucks his pillow.

      • handyhippie65

        mighty wang, more like sissy clit i bet.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Sullied now by the semen of another male and a basis for comparison. You know that’s not going to end well.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’m impressed at those of you who make it all the way to the end of these threads.

      • Scrofula

        We’re mining for comedy–it’s the only way.

      • snark-lurker

        i never haz maid it

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The recognition of irony is not in their skillset, which is a pretty pathetic skillset to begin with.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    jews actually did it with interratial couples

    Worst. Porn. Ever.

  • Serai 1

    It’s always amusing how these tiny-balled, tiny-brained toddler brats will so eagerly proclaim how little sex they get, and how bitter they are about it.

    • The Wanderer

      Well, they couldn’t get laid in a brothel. They can get a bit cranky as the semen backs up and starts frying synapses.

      • Serai 1

        This is what happens when you don’t get married. The semen backs up into your brain! — Random Nazarene, The Last Temptation of Christ

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m sure this habit-just like their nose picking-makes them even more attractive to the wimminfolk.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      It’s us liberal losers are having all the fun! We are such losers…who wants to do body shots?

      • Serai 1

        Meh, I don’t drink. I’ll do shotgun tokes, though!

  • proudgrampa

    Wow. Those are the nicest people ever!

    Especially “PePe Herman” or whatever his name was. I can only walk through a sewer once, so did not go back to check. Doktor, you must have to don a Hazmat suit every week to wade through that stuff.

    • snark-lurker

      he IZ amazing! n not teh only 1 at WonkHQ

      • proudgrampa

        Indeed!

  • schmannity

    What I got from this week’s deleted comments is that Elizabeth Banks is at the forefront of virtual reality.

    • snark-lurker

      me get shock ever time i sea you’re avatar

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Trump should have campaigned on Making SNL Great Again
    https://youtu.be/sb9ybImGwkU

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    you just throw yourselves on any dicks that will have you

    For some reason, that has not been my personal experience with women.

    • The Wanderer

      Same here.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      But funny how they won’t throw themselves at him!

      • Serai 1

        Can’t imagine why not, with that sparkling personality of his.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Spent most of my life feeling like a hanging Chad.

      • suziq

        What is a Chad? Not the hanging ones, I remember those.

        • Scrofula

          The boy in junior high what asked his “gf” out before he had a chance.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          it’s what MRA types call dudes who get women (notice he wrote “it’s what we call Chads”) – I have still yet to figure out what they mean exactly, but i’m guessing strong, good-looking…maybe there’s a derisive element of stupid/irresponsible. All i know is according to them, those damn sluts are always leaving these paragons of responsibility to go have sex with chads. WeHuntedTheMammoth.com is very good for all tehse things.

    • Serai 1

      Have you ever heard a clearer cry of jealous pique?

    • snark-lurker

      well…truth be told…there was that one time…..

  • o’look Skwerl!

    PSA: Let’s keep those guys on the Red Pill. We all know it’s the little blue pill that will keep us making mixed race babies.

    http://americannewsx.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/viagra.jpeg

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Can we substitute estradiol pills in for the boner meds?

      They look a LOT alike.

      https://www.drugs.com/images/pills/nlm/005550887.jpg

      • The Wanderer

        Oh, now THAT’S naughty.

      • Scrofula

        That might honestly help some of them.

    • Serai 1

      Are the red pills saltpeter? Then I’m in.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Lewis said he didn’t recognize the results of the election that are enshrined in the US Constitution which sounds pretty damn Un-American to me.

    Hmmmm…let’s see. Who was it again who refused to declare during the campaign that he would accept the election results if he lost? He even said it in response to a direct question at one of the debates. I can’t quite recall the name…

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Crump? Chump? I have it written down somewhere…

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I went to check out Betty Bowers (America’s Best Christian) Twitter feed, and came across this from Mike Huckabee:
    “Why do people holding “Love Trumps Hate” signs look so mean? No love or joy on faces. Are they angry and unhappy or just constipated? #MAGA”

    The resulting thread on Shucksterbee’s Twitter was hilarious:
    https://twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/822871111847137280

    • BosGrl

      Honestly, something awful must have happened to this guy when he was a child.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I think Jesus must have touched him in his “no no” spot.

        I loved this response on his Twitter feed “really? That’s your response 2 a sign about love? I thought you were a christian. Aren’t u supposed to be kind 2 others?”

      • Scrofula

        Prolly same as his boy, who strangled a dog to death and got off by having a famous “Christian” daddy.
        (The link is out there, I don’t want to find it this morning)

        EDIT: nevermind, always scroll down . . .

    • Treg Brown

      “No love or joy on faces. Are they angry and unhappy or just constipated?”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/08e9f67f671f8c019623a895879a0e56c162c33ac5af5b5512ce0976cd2c85ef.jpg

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ceaf241759fbd6264d1f5d2def3b134e15d3a8c06a04a823e66644e2afa786c.jpg

      Hey Mikey, remind me again which one of these feckless assholes you call “son” tortured and killed a dog?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        One of the responses on Twitter:
        “Sadly, love doesn’t Trump animal abuse in the Huckabee family”

        • Treg Brown

          Never forget! Also too, RIP Seamus…

      • handyhippie65

        and, judging by the neck rolls, ate a lot of emotional unpleasantness.

    • The Wanderer

      Could be they’re angry at shitheels like you, Fuckabee.

    • suziq

      First of all, his 15 minutes are long over so go away “former” governor. Second, he lives in an alternate universe if he believes any of the crap he tweets.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Clearly these protesters’ point is invalid because:
      a) they’re not smiling enough (smile, honey!)
      b) they’re not carrying American flags (really, I heard that one)
      c) they’re not willing to give Assmouth a chance
      d) they’re too white
      e) they’re not white enough

      Apparently anything other than arguing actual reasons is okay. Thanks for the validation that your party’s misogyny and disrespect of over half the citizens of the US is well-grounded, Huckabee.

    • Scrofula
    • BeachBum

      OT On the Huckster. I could be wrong but I thought that Huck’s failed precedential run was because Republicans only want religion 1 hour a week on Sunday, and keep that shit inside a church for krissakes ! They don’t want those communist ideas mucking things up in the real world. When he was for a Dreamers program, as “we are all God’s children” GOP had enough and dumped him. I guess immigrants can be God’s children, as long as they’re not in the US.

  • natoslug

    I am fully willing to be memed into miscegenation as soon as Scrotal Recall’s Evie lets me have her babbies. Just have to knit myself a womb first. And convince her to drop the restraining order.

  • Serai 1

    Short version: WHY WON’T ANY OF YOU FUCK ME???

    • Blacktop Autumn

      They’re “nice guys.”

      • TJ Barke

        Needs yooger quotation marks.

        • Blacktop Autumn

          I prefer ((((((parenthesis))))!

          • Serai 1

            We should come up with a marker like that parenthesis bullshit. Something that dog-whistles “this guy is a major asshole”. Maybe %%Name%%. You know, a dick and balls. It would drive them nuts trying to figure out why we’re doing it. While we giggle.

      • Serai 1

        Oh, those. I prefer a nice guy, myself.

    • Because you obviously don’t know what you’re doing and i don’t want to do all the work anymore

  • Vincent Ricola

    Ladies, hug your sons often. Otherwise they’ll grow up to be angry, dateless, severely fucked up men that spend all day trying to self-medicate their feelings of sexual inadequacy on the internet by crying about how lady strangers ruined their lives/childhoods and photoshopping pictures of orange wigs onto cartoon frogs.

    • BosGrl

      Hug them, yes, but when the girlfriends (or boyfriends) start to show up, don’t keep telling them that no one is good enough for them.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Yes. This too.

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    How long before our evangelical soothsayers accept that human activities contribute to climate change and attribute the deadly GA tornadoes on Madonna’s colorful language and millions of uppity women taking to the streets.

    • snark-lurker

      madonna made teh tormatoes?
      NOOOOOOooooo…o….o

  • Bitter Scribe

    If there’s a more pathetic human being than czarangelus, may I never meet him.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      I suspect czarangelus would not care to have his DNA taken and put in a government database. Just sayin’

      • Scrofula

        Good thing for future FBI forensics that his DNA is literally all over his ex’s windowsill.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Damn, I wish I could sing!

    • handyhippie65

      it must be raining in my house.

  • Tiny kaiju

    “I was in a relationship for 15 years that I intended to carry on for life.( Did you at any time,ask your partner how she felt about that But because society revolves around the wants of women (So that’s why we have equal pay for equal work and family leave and are ever sexually harassed or assualted) rather than the needs of stable social units(e families are stable and good for society too, right)( since when were manly men interested in long term relationships?) she saw fit to pack up stakes and leave, knowing that there’s always another dick ( maybe she just wanted to get away from dicks) she can throw herself on without any fear of being called out for her selfishness( because she should have sacrificed her happiness and aspirations in order to be your baby incubator.) For a time, anyway. When she’s 50 and no longer attractive and the only thing that cares to keep her company are 17 cats, (when you’re fifty and even less attractive, you’ll be exposing yourself to school children) that’s when the regret sets in. It’s not “justice,” ( you got that right, shithead) but it’s the closest thing we’ll ever get. (Only if you are a vindictive, small minded simpleton trapped in amber made of spunk and Snotzi propaganda.)
    Can someone tell me how to bold words on an iPad using HTML?

    • TJ Barke

      Should be a b inside with with a / then b

      • Tiny kaiju

        Thank you.

    • suziq

      Welp, his previous gf must have been pretty hot if she can make it to 50 before all she has is her 17 cats. The rest of those losers only get to 40 in his previous paragraph.

    • doktorzoom

      Hey! You cheated and ran that through Google’s MRA-to-English translator!

    • natoslug

      I see why these people support Donut. Like Trump, they are never at fault — it’s always someone else who fucked up and ruined the poor MRA unterman’s life. Fucking bootstrap-lacking whiners.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Take out the spaces.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      LOL. These radical dickless wonders worrying about “stable social units” when all they want to do is rip families apart in the name of sacred profit.

  • tehbaddr

    Silly me! I thought boogyman fear porn was the often used tool of the Right Wing Nutjobs!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Projection ain’t just a tool used in movie theaters.

  • Shoto

    Today’s Important Journalamism Storiez. (Don’t hit me, Dok Z.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsxtILDy17E

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, that friend zone thing thing was most likely very satisfying for our mra friends.

      • handyhippie65

        i’ll give that a standing o.

  • “Dave Stallman” was also very angry that people on Wonkette hide behind screen names,

    But I really AM the beloved 40-something years old First Cat of the Carter Administration.

    • snark-lurker

      i have hurd that 40ish pussies are at their horny-peak

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Thiefed this off Rebecca’s Facebook page:

    https://www.facebook.com/lee.solow/videos/10211224887328419/

    (It’s her on CNN)

    • BosGrl

      Argh, content not available. You must have to be friends with her?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Don’t know the answer. Maybe?

      • handyhippie65

        wow. now i feel special. she accepted my friend request, and knows my secret identity.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Acck! Can’t view, and I really want to see Rebecca on CNN.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        It must be set to “Private.” Sorry. I didn’t know! :(

        • BosGrl

          WE WERE SO EXCITED! :) Thanks for trying, anyway.

        • Shoto

          Is it possible to fix it? WD-40, or duct tape, or something? (I don’t Faceborg.)

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Bailing wire, stone knives and bearskins…

          • Shoto

            I like it.

      • doktorzoom

        Sometimes you need to be logged into your own Faceplace to view embedded vids. And sometimes Disqus is just a jerk.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Worst porn ever.

      • handyhippie65

        i don’t know, i saw it. shy’s a lucky guy.

  • Teecha

    It must be awful for these boys to go through life being so full of hate. No wonder they’re so lonely and angry.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • snark-lurker

      zat iz bootiful! : )

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I would like to make a simple request. Could we please have only pictures of Fuckface von Clownstick that are actually of something else that looks like him? For instance, that caterpillar that has his hair, or the garbage can in France with the cardboard Cheeto Stalin face on it, or an orange cat, or something? I’m starting to get PTSD just from being forced to see his horrid mug everywhere. Oh, the gestures, also too. STOP WAVING YOUR TINY HANDS AROUND AIMLESSLY, ASSHOLE. I really can’t take four years of it (or however long you last).

    • Shoto
      • snark-lurker

        you just coudnut resist, could you?

        • Shoto

          The truth is not pretty.

    • Truck Fump
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Alternatively, does the shade function that we can use in Disqus comments work for photos? Because I’d like to see that asshole’s face as little as possible TYVM.

      • Serai 1

        Shade function?

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Shade.

          Oh, that didn’t work? Well, there is a way to hide one’s comment so that it is only visible when you hover the mouse over it. Someone here told me how to do it but I must have forgotten now.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            spoiler
            put that where you put shade and inbetween the brackets and you’ve got it.

    • Tiny kaiju

      Have you seen the accordion video yet? It’s still Twitler’s face but with a twist as M. Night whatever the fuck his name would say.
      https://youtu.be/S65jqrHQi_c

    • Serai 1

      I would love nothing more than to stay blissfully ignorant of anything his ugly mug is doing.

    • hvdv

      There are browser extensions for that. I use the one that replaces the Trumphead with kittens–it’s not 100% foolproof, but it has certainly helped with my bile problem.

    • Truthiness2U

      I highly recommend the Chrome extension Make America Kittens Again. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty good. So win-win, less pictures of that monstrosity, more pictures of kittehs!

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    When will these deleted commenters realize that comments are not allowed without a (good) dick joke context.

    • BosGrl

      They themselves are the dick jokes!

      • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

        Self awareness comes hard to some. subtle embedded dick joke.

      • handyhippie65

        just ask the women in their life.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        As in “Sir, I need to see your ticket. Not your stub.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All held back in preschool for “failure to play nice”

      • Scrofula

        They’re from states w/o public pre-K.

    • Nick Scroggs

      I know this isn’t relevant, but since you’re form Seattle, what’s the situation up there with Khama Sawant, because last I checked it sounded like everyone up there hated her and were insulting on Twitter and such.

      • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

        Can’t say. old screen name from b4 I was asked to leave the state for an undisclosed location. Anyway, not enough socialists in local govt IMHO.

        • Nick Scroggs

          Wait, you were kicked out? Was it the IWW thing? What year do they think this is, 1920? Or am I misreading the situation?

          • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

            Let’s say I was a Packers fan and pissed off Boeing moved jobs to RTW SC.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            EVIL! EVIL!

          • BrianW

            Well, that explains a lot. (I don’t know what that means in this case; I just know that’s what you’re supposed to say.)

      • eggsacklywright

        Not everyone hates, just the people that live in Medina and Laurelhurst. And the Highlands. And Woodway.

    • Serai 1

      Wouldn’t that be redundant?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Action item from an e-mail I got (technically about fitness, but the woman who writes it is woke):

    If you went to a march yesterday, text “count me” to 898-00. Trump is obsessed with the inauguration turnout and you know it’s got to be driving him up the proverbial wall that so many came out yesterday. If you text the organizers, they’ll be able to add you to an official tally. It won’t change the fact that Trump is trying to gaslight the entire world, but it will give them some concrete numbers to back up the estimates.

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      WH.gov has a Contact Us page but no phone # as to how to send an Alternative Fax.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Meanwhile, in the real world: With FIVE deferments, Donald’s enthusiasm for the military stopped short of being part of it.

    ~Mrs. Betty Bowers

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, naturally. His precious ass might have gotten singed in the rice paddies.

  • TheGrandWaz00
    • handyhippie65

      you can’t outrun that. she’ll figure it out eventually.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Donnie hasn’t…

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      That is funny, but poor little tyke.

      • Courser

        Yeah, she looks a little freaked.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I can SO outrun my shadow!

    • Bozilingus

      “Run towards the light, Carol Anne!”

    • Tiny kaiju

      It’s so adorable when younglings discover their environment is interactive.

  • handyhippie65

    hoo boy. nothing says shit fer brainz like ignoring the serious human overpopulation of our planet to make more lily white offspring. i suppose i’m a traitor to my race since i made no lily white offspring of my own. coming from them, i consider it a compliment.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      I have a beautiful niece and nephew who are multiracial. The only woman I’ve ever met who ever made me even consider what it might be like to have children is black. Racist assholes can go fuck themselves as far as I’m concerned.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think this set are just not feeling the competition.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Bill Maher summed it up succinctly for the racists. When Barack Obama and Donald Trump were on stage together at the Inauguration, the one with kids by three different women was the white one.

    • Courser

      I’m white (as far as they know, heh) and I produced no offspring whatsoever. I come from a family of 3 kids. One brother made 3. Other bro, zero like me. I think that’s still a net loss, particularly since that was across 2 wives.

  • Hutch

    OT, but the ads on this site are mocking me once again. Below the post and prior to the comments, I get a whole Hollywood Squares layout of the same ad for toe fungus. Is someone trying to tell me something?

    In 2016, it was “Fart Yourself Thin” ads, over and over. Jeepers, I’m not that fat!

  • tehbaddr

    I wonder if one of them will come back to troll this thread like last week.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’m always tempted to tell them to do so, after they’ve been banhammered. Pretty sure Dok doesn’t want us encouraging them to do so, however.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Jesus Christ, the London women’s march was 2 miles long.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Apparently Washington DC’s AirBnB was flooded this weekend, because all of those nasty women who showed up in Washington. The price of hotel rooms was skyrocketing, up 900%.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Funny. Trump’s hotel had a ton of rooms on hotels.com starting at $500

    • H0mer0

      Speaking about disrespect and rudeness, that “Nasty Woman” comment while she was speaking at the debate displayed both.

  • Thaumaturgist

    Am I too cynical or is this a reminder from Valodya that he has The Donald on a short string? http://www.politico.com/story/2017/01/wikileaks-trump-tax-return-234000

  • Markuserektus

    What everyone neglected to do was, examine the alternative facts…

    • o’look Skwerl!

      I do have the largest peen.

      • handyhippie65

        i have a 3 lb. ball peen, does that count?

        • H0mer0

          I’m wondering if that Peter,Paul and Mary song has any deeper meaning.

          • handyhippie65

            i certainly hope so.

  • o’look Skwerl!

    http://www.startribune.com/thousands-flock-to-st-paul-for-women-s-march/411409885/

    St Paul: Police said they arrested one counter-protester. Witnesses said he shouted his opposition to the protest and shot pepper spray into the crowd.

    100,000 people and the only one arrested was a Trump supporter.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’m shocked, shocked!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Wow! It works almost the same as voter fraud.

      Edit: What am I saying “almost”. It works exactly like voter fraud.

  • Christina

    A troubling line of thought… though greatly deluded and prejudiced, czarangelus is not an idiot. He is an intelligent, well spoken man full of hate and bitterness. He fervently believes in his own convoluted theories and in my opinion does a hell of a good job of presenting them articulately… He by himself does not pose a threat to others’. The threat is in is the cynics and opportunists, those who have no principles and waste no time with theories that justify their ruthless acquisition of power. But these potential dictators need men like czarangelus: intelligent, self-obsessed, resentful, and easily manipulated. If czarangelus believes his true worth is recognized, he can become a most effective propagandist for a tyrant. If he were to tone down his over the too misogyny and and hold back some of his more outlandish ideas he may be a very persuasive voice, the kind that provides
    rationale and justification for a brutal regime, a righteous proponent of oppression, autocracy, totalitarianism, atrocity. Dangerous people need advocates such as czarangelus in their toolbox; the people must believe in the legitimacy of their own subjugation. Not only do critics need to be silenced but czarangelous with the silver tongue must sing praises to the glory of the ruler… Lately I am seeing the threat of authoritarianism everywhere. Hopefully I’m mostly paranoid. I can’t decide if Trump really is dangerous or just extremely dumb and capricious. The real dictator is never dumb though he may find it advantageous to hide the extent of his cunning. But if Trump is only a brainless monkey on a unicycle, could he be the perfect puppet for an aspiring tyrant such as Putin, a dangerous, coldly calculating, inscrutable man not lacking in either brains or guile? And the plot thickens….

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      To me, he sounds like someone whose g/f once bedded Glenn Rice.

    • Serai 1

      Someone who learned his rhetoric under the tutelage of an experienced dictator? Perhaps under the pay of said dictator right now?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        He learned his rhetoric under the tutelage of the (once again, alt boys) gay jewish man who created Joe McCarthy as a demagogue.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      They’re always out there. Hitler took over Germany and killed millions of people thanks to men like that. Eichmann was a monster, but he wasn’t stupid. Neither were Heydrich, Goebbels, Speer et al. I think Donnie, to a great degree, is dangerous because he’s dumb and capricious. That makes it hard to predict what he might do, and it scares me.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The horror was how easily ordinary Germans bought into the entire thing.

        • Jonny On Maui

          It was out of sight. Even the ones living next to the camps didn’t ‘see’ anything…

          • handyhippie65

            hard to miss the smell, though.

          • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

            The extermination camps were not in Germany. The regular concentration camps were kept isolated. Oh, many of them knew something bad was going on there, no question. But if they made noise, they knew where they would end up. They didn’t want to know.

            Besides, look at the Trumpanzees. How many of the people you see chanting “Lock her up!” and calling for all Muslims to be rounded up do you suppose would be happy to staff Trump built concentration camps? Tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands? millions? The veneer of civilisation anywhere is frighteningly thin.

          • shivaskeeper

            They saw it. They knew about it. But what could they do about it? Cross the SS? They wanted to live too. By the time they realized what what happening I don’t think there was anything they could do.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Goring was a bit of an airhead.

    • Courser

      Trump is Putin’s tool.

      And the answer is yes.

    • snark-lurker

      my hope is that the horrors of WW II are still tangible enough to those of us with parents/grandparents who lived through it, making vicarious experience moar real, so that our vigilance has not quite expired and we will arise and meet the threat in time

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The WWII generation is dying out..they’re in their 90s, and they’ve had good, long runs.

        I asked my parents about the reaction to 9/11, and if they recall anything similar after Pearl Harbor. You know what I mean…the “oh woe is us” wallow that seems to be the theme of every 9/11 anniversary.

        My dad was 22 at the time of Pearl Harbor, my mom 16. They said that the anniversaries of Pearl Harbor were nothing like 9/11 anniversaries.

        • shivaskeeper

          No the anniversary of Pearl Harbor is not. 9/11 is used as a cudgel now. Every year we collectively allow the scab to be torn off so the wound won’t even start to heal.

          Right after 9/11 there wasn’t the “woe is me” attitude. That came later. Right after there was a large measure of solidarity. Granted that didn’t last long, but I don;t think it was allowed to last long.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    That last poor idiot soul…bless his heart. It isn’t that 17 cats are the only things that wanted his ex girlfriend’s company. It’s that after listening to him talk out of his misogynistic arse for 15 years, she could no longer bear human companionship, and decided felines were a cleaner, kinder, more sane and intelligent option. And they never leave the toilet seat up.

    • Tiny kaiju

      Cats only occasionally gaslight you and it only ever involves food.
      Can someone tell why my iPad keeps try to insert a 🥘 . What is that? A wok emoji?

      • Teecha

        I think it’s a paella emoji.

        ETA- it is. As I typed paella, my phone suggested it. I didn’t even know there was a 🥘 emoji. I’m still getting my knickers in a twist about Bowie emojis. 👩🏼‍🎤👨🏼‍🎤👨🏼‍🎤👩🏼‍🎤

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Hey, are you and JonnyOnMaui hanging out?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        We are living together now. :)

        • Tiny kaiju

          Sweet!

        • TJ Barke

          WTF?!

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Haha!! Basically. I moved here Tuesday, with my dogs and cats, and we are very, very happy.

          • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

            I am so happy, delighted, joyful, all those words of love and hopefulness for the two of you. Love!! In all it’s splendor. I found Paul and fell in love with him on Wonkette going on 10 months ago and moved up here to his beautiful mountains 3 month ago. I moved with my two cats (he loves them..therefore I love him even more). Know what else is so amazing and great about all this? I’m going to be 60 in a couple of days and lookit what happens. We find our hearts. I send all my love and affection over the warm waters of the Pacific to you and your Jonny on Maui. XXOOXXOO

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Fantastic! Congratulations! I moved with my 2 dogs and cat, and they love it here. We all love it here!

        • Jonny On Maui

          Happily. Well, speaking for myself… :-)

        • handyhippie65

          couldn’t happen to a nicer couple of kids. love you both.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Thank you! We send all our love from Maui!

        • Paul

          Woohoo. Congratulations to both you guys. Another Wonk pairing.

          Paul and Oh hell no he’s not… Holly.

          P.S.She is here in the Berkshire hills of western Mass. with me now in our cabin in the mountains.

          Ms. MLG….Holly LOVES that claw footed tub. I hung a bird feeder outside the window for her viewing pleasure as she luxuriates in her hour long soaks. As a bonus I’ve convinced her to get acclimated to really HOT baths. They are good for her extremely old bones (not that I would know about the issues of age)

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/43e83cbdf19aa24465ec24270e054276163a72eb2165fdd3638737815520c4da.jpg

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/081968adcb7c10acaac091083f52119b3f0ec651a19c5772597745f35308e0cb.jpg

          Does Maui look like this?

      • Jonny On Maui

        No. Sarongs are employed… :-)

    • Alan

      He’s actually lucky she didn’t castrate him in his sleep.

    • pstockholm

      /sidles away discreetly to check status of toilet seat/

      • Jonny On Maui

        Doesn’t matter. You can never remember all the time…

        • Jamoche

          If you have a cat you not only remember the seat, you remember the lid.

    • shivaskeeper

      I got the impression the 17 cats were his revenge fantasy. That one day when she hit magical number of 50 years old, no one would want her anymore and she would go on to be a reclusive crazy cat lady. The unsaid part is every day she would regret leaving him and having to live the life she had now when it could have been so much better if she hadn’t broken and MRA’s heart.

      Congrats to you and Johnny also, too.

  • kindness

    You know, I knew there was a fringe of racists in this country. But I always thought it was a fringe. I always figured it was a subset of the old 27% figure of lunkheads (now 45%) that would support right wing Republicans not matter what they did. Saddened I am to realize racist nuts are a larger portion of the population than I had figured. Go figure.

    • snark-lurker

      seems to moi that a majority of whities (like me) are racist

      • BosGrl

        I always assume racist until proved otherwise. :(

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I live in the South, and that’s a great assumption to make.

          • BosGrl

            Up here in the North we vote Democrat but I’m no longer surprised when people I thought were genuinely progressive expose prejudice and bias. I just sort of expect it.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Boston has always been kind of racist, so is Long Island, NY and Staten Island, NY. I remember when I was a kid, Boston vehemently opposed school busing.

          • BosGrl

            Oh yes. It was bad.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Long Island and Staten Island were pretty much founded in their current form as white flight suburbs.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            The Boston Irish, in particular, were profoundly lacking in a sense of irony.

          • snark-lurker

            i am surprised…in deference to the bubble i live in

          • snark-lurker

            well yeah i give you both that. this UI town is a bubble here in fly-over iowa n i ferget it sometimes

        • snark-lurker

          me not quite that far gone yet

      • Courser

        Agreed. I’ve lived in West Denver most of my adult life. Racially mixed area. True story, I’m now afraid of white people too. If I don’t know ’em personally, I’m very wary about them and generally vacate the area ASAP before I hear something that’s going to make me go off. And I’ve got so much stored up, it could be nuclear and I’d prefer to avoid that.

        • Scrofula

          My home town is minority white. I get a little tense if a room is all-white.
          (No, that doesn’t mean I’m devoid of my own prejudices)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        We are all racist to a certain degree. It’s that some of us don’t try to fight it, and want it to grow, are unaware that it’s a product not of biology, but sociology. It’s a social construct to divide us from each other to the advantage of those who seek to divide us. If you buy into racism, you’re demonstrating you are easily manipulated, and you’re self-denying your own agency.

        • shivaskeeper

          This.

        • CripesAmighty

          And stupid. Idiots fear the unfamiliar, and are thus susceptible to racism and authoritarianism (see: Altemeyer).

      • Alan

        I must live a sheltered life.

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        It’s the culture.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, it’s a kind of racism that is in denial of that “All men are created equal” by stipulating that anyone that has more melanin showing than you can’t actually be “a man”.

      • H0mer0

        according to my SO, anyone who has been in a Marine Corp locker room would see that not ALL men are created equal

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I think it’s still a fringe, but certainly Fox has grown it.

      What I didn’t expect is how easily nominally evolved humans and ‘progressives’ got on board.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        What makes you think ‘progressives’ got on board? I don’t have any friends who suddenly became racist, or anti-semitic.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Well, there was the Guam comment. And even the liberal New York Times normalizing Jim Crow. And Sanders jumping in to normalize Trump.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            The NYT has been a REAL disappointment. I will always love Krugman though.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Yeah. And I don’t want him not to have a perch, but he’s kind of a big fig leaf for them at this point.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I just wish people would stop pretending Donnie doesn’t prove they’re all racist. Or most of them. Guessing the others are sexist.

    • Hutch

      From the fringe to the kapok of society. Thanks, Trump!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Fox News has convinced all the IdiotAmericans that brown people are stealing from them, moochers, and taking their jobs. In times of imaginary economic anxiety, people tend to get super racist and anti-semitic, and anti-immigrant.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The actual moochers are the 1%.

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        That’s not Fox News. That’s American history. It’s always been that way.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          In the 1970s I don’t remember anyone feeling threatened by Mexicans who were coming to America to pick fruit.

          • Growing up in farming country I remember my uncle putting a loaded shotgun by the kitchen door when the migrant pickers were due in town “just in case”. It was pretty common. The pickers were routinely referred to as “spics” and “beaners”. The thing that strikes me now, looking back, is that the racism was so casual and generally accepted or overlooked. Cesar Chavez is a good example of how threatened America felt about Hispanic farm laborers in general back then, especially among middle class whites.

          • BeachBum

            “Buy any fruit you want. Buy oranges, apples, bananas, peaches, pears, apricots. Just please don’t buy grapes. Please don’t buy grapes.” Amazingly it worked !

          • H0mer0

            I remember “Don’t buy grapes or Gallo Wine!”

    • Alan

      I don’t think so, I think they’re very vocal.

      • Scrofula

        There’s an online resonance too–they hit the right frequency and it amplifies itself into electing a joke.

      • shivaskeeper

        This is my view as well. 20-30% are racist shitheels. But they are LOUD. Factor in the real life trolls who just want to be as offensive as possible and they seem even louder.

        There are people who are casually racist because they don’t know any better. They can change with exposure and realizing how much harm they cause. I know because in my younger days I was one of them.

    • While race is an issue (and abortion, guns, whatever) for some of them the most common thread is selfishness. The fringe is still just the fringe, albeit much more vocal and uninhibited these days, but the wider support comes from entitled people, mostly white but not all, who believe their wants and needs should have priority and their way of life is superior. They are bitter and anxious because others don’t acknowledge and support that. They believe authoritarian leadership and social conformity will right this. The fringe shouts and trolls but the wider group holds these feelings closer to the vest and acts in more passive-aggressive ways. For balance remember that against the total population only about 20% of Americans voted for DJ and he enters office with the lowest approval rating in history. Also too, yesterday an entire gender marched against him! XD

      • Serai 1

        But isn’t racism a virulent form of selfishness?

        • yyyaz

          Yes, but it is rooted in ignorance.

      • BeachBum

        Selfishness. Greed. Fear. Pride.

    • Truthiness2U

      Le’ts be fair here, not all of them are racists!

      Some are bigoted, and/or misogynists instead.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From Adverbia (in regards to Betsy DeVos): “It has been 87,900 days without a bear attack incident in American schools. Stay vigilant, America.”

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
      • pstockholm

        I can’t bear her either.

        • yyyaz

          Long paws…..

          • Painter of Goats

            Thought of her in charge of our schools is grizzly.

    • Courser

      I heard that replayed this morning and I was, like, “WTF? Grizzlies, really? That’s the best you can do? You, lady, are a fucking idiot.”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        She really is a complete moran.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Oh, and someone corrected her Tweet to Trump on his inauguration, because it had two grammatical errors. I guess our Christians is not learning.

    • theCryptofishist

      Okay, but I want to know about htat last bear attack. How can we learn from it if we don’t know what happened.
      Plus
      Is our Ursines learning?

      • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

        One thing we do know: After the incident, Congress very nearly voted to repeal the amendment giving us the Right to Arm Bears.

      • Jamoche

        They mocked a bald guy, so it’s all good.

  • Truck Fump
  • Mack N. Nietzsche

    With Kellyanne’s comments today, just start using this mantra: “No matter how thin you slice it, it’s still baloney.”

  • Alan

    I’m pretty sure I know why she left after 15 years. Maybe it took that long to saw through the chain with her nail file.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The only mystery to me was, “Why did it take 15 years to ditch this cretin?” Your explanation is as good as any.

      • Alan

        It’s all I’ve got that makes any sense. That or a large steel door to the cellar.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Chuck Toad compares Trump’s inaugural speech to Charles Lindbergh. Well at least we’re now openly calling him a Nazi.

    • BeachBum

      Yeah. But prolly a lot of Trumpers will think he just likes airplanes.

      • theCryptofishist

        Something, something wants Barron kidnapped something…

        (Is okay to state that he wants his fifthborn kidnapped and killed, or is that a strike against the kid?)

        YOu know, I’m often glad that no comments are allowed here. It keeps me from saying stupid shit.

        • H0mer0

          Barron’s the only member of that family that I like, even if he smells like caviar and has that unfortunate “Christian” name.

  • Blender_415

    OT: ran a quick search this morning, and could only find one instance of arrests at any of the US marches yesterday (all three in Denver, and all three were… wait for it… men). Can we just formally hand over all protest management to people without penises?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I read zero arrests, but that might have been just the Washington march.

      • OrG

        Zero arrests in Portland,which is quite rare.Don’t if it was because the cops we saw were wearing Pussy hats instead of riot gear or not,Who knows?

    • BosGrl

      Some BLM folks are noting that there were few arrests because the marches were mostly white women, white celebs and less anti-cop rhetoric. Check Ana Marie Cox’s Twitter timeline. There is validity in this.

      • OrG

        True,but it makes it way harder for the right paint this movement as dirty unemployed hippies[OWS] or thugs[BLM] when the meme is grandmas and young girls.

    • Truthiness2U

      I read one guy in MN got arrested for using mace ON the protesters. Which seems about par for the course.

  • HorseChestnut

    1. You do not need to put echoes around “Salomon Israel,” he might as well be named “Jewy Goldmanson.”

    2. > it’s the height of pro-white activism to spam comments sections
    It really is, though.

    • Scrofula

      #2)–They’re welcome to march through my old Oakland neighborhood and call blacks lazy free-loaders. They can start a dialogue!

      • HorseChestnut

        Valuable discussion! Free exchange of ideas!

      • H0mer0

        when I made the trip from California to Washington DC in 1988, I could not believe the stuff people would say with impunity about African Americans when if anyone said that stuff out loud in the East Bay, they’d get their asses handed to them if they didn’t get lectured on ignorance first.

        • Scrofula

          Your best hope is that the local pastor will intervene to save you before you’re killed.
          More’n likely it’s a sucker punch, followed by a thorough search of your pockets.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      There was one troll on Wonkette who was calling himself “Schlomo Kikeberg, Esq.” When he showed up I congratulated him on electing Trump, whose orthodox Jewish son in law would be running the country, along with his Jewish daughter Ivanka Trump Kushner. I thanked him for his help in electing two New York Jews to run the White House. He disappeared immediately. That line is the most effective can of “Troll Be Gone” I’ve ever found.

      • CripesAmighty

        You oughta patent that stuff.

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      Also, John English, Juan Espana and Patrick O’Leary.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I’m watching Meet The Press, and Kellyanne Conway looks like she’s been crying. ‘

    Chuck Toad: “Alternative facts are not facts, they’re falsehoods.”

    Chuck Todd “I’m not laughing at you, I’m just befuddled.”

    LOL, I’m actually agreeing with Chuck Todd and George Will this morning. God save us all!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Both still have an ounce, no matter how sub-atomic, of integrity left in them.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        That’s better than the entirety of the GOP, so I’ll have to give them some points.

      • Scrofula

        George drank SOME of the Kool-Aid, spat it out with only minor brain damage.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
      • HorseChestnut

        He has Magician Beard.

        • tehbaddr

          All the Rethuglicans like the way it tickles!

    • BeachBum

      The fact may have been that the Titanic went down. The Important Alternate Fact to remember is that sharks had a le’ homme brut buffet for days !

      • H0mer0

        that reminds me of a schoolyard ditty about the teacher’s visit to the bay and the sharks having lunch today to the tune of some song from the Aristocats.

    • eggsacklywright

      I thought fact-checking wasn’t your job, Chuckles.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        KAC basically told him it wasn’t his job to question the Trump administration’s lies.

    • CripesAmighty

      Hope they post Joy Reid from this morning: much horrified amusement had at ‘alternative facts’. Thought she might collapse behind the desk for a minute.

    • tehbaddr

      “They are shadows. Illusions. Nothing but ghosts of reality. They are lies. Falsehoods. They are to be ignored.”

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Much of the speech was written by Stephen Miller and Steve Bannon, two of Mr. Trump’s top advisers, a White House official said.

    http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/donald-trump-writing-inauguration-speech-funny-reactions-1.png

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s fairly obvious that Donald has no idea how to write on a pad of paper, for one thing.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Writing a speech with a Sharpie, lol

        • Brendan_M

          He was making outlines of his hands to send to Graydon Carter.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            “Mrs. Donald J. Putin”
            “Mrs. Donald J. Putin”
            “Mrs. Donald J. Putin”

        • tehbaddr

          He couldn’t find a crayon.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            Kellyanne hid them when Donnie wouldn’t stop eating them.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Also looks like he instinctively hides what he’s doing…

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Look at the paper, mang! At the paper!

      • theCryptofishist

        All it has on it are weak drawings of how bigly his tiny penis is, now that he’s been sworn in.

      • HogeyeGrex

        My comment on that pic from another site:

        Wait, look! A reflection in the background!

        Enhance 224 to 176.
        Enhance. Stop.
        Move in. Stop.
        Pull out, track right. Stop.
        Center and pull back. Stop.
        Track 45 right. Stop. Center and stop.
        Enhance 34 to 36.
        Pan right or-and pull back. Stop.
        Enhance 34 to 46.
        Pull back. Wait a minute. Go right. Stop.
        Enhance 57 to 19. Track 45 left. Stop.
        Enhance 15 to 23.
        Gimme a hard copy right there.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/411b71dcff6419f20701fdeeae969d4b08f1449a234f154aa9ffbc949df0eaa6.jpg

    • mackafritz

      So another alternative fact.

    • tehbaddr

      That’s the look of “what the fuck have I gotten myself into”.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Looks more like “I haven’t had a bowel movement since November.”

    • nightmoth

      Oh, THAT looks candid.

  • Serai 1

    Preach it, Bill Maher:

    By the way, for all you racists out there: if you saw the shot of the new president standing with the outgoing President and their families, the one with kids from three different wives was the white one.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Actually one of the kids was from a girlfriend. They didn’t get married until about a year later.

      • nightmoth

        Marla sped up the divorce from Ivana by getting preggers with Tiffany.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          That story is fucked up. He was too afraid of the two of them to tell or not tell, so he rented her a room at the family christmas vacation and made reservations for her at the restaurant they were having family dinner at so his kids could watch the catfight when they lost their father? Geez, no wonder their souls are dead.

          • nightmoth

            I could have sworn I saw a picture of a sho ’nuff catfight between the two blondes on the ski slope from back then, but I can’t find it now. Oh, well. What I COULD google was bad enough, and you’re right about the Donald fucking up his kids.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I’m sure our resident experts on “ratial” evolution will explaineer that this has to do with Mango Hilter’s sexual prowess or white women not acting right or something, right?

  • anon_the_great

    YOU wankettes are somewhat delusional.

    That’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard from a wingnut

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I still am fond of “gay refugee huggers.”

      • Jennifer R

        I am too, it helps foster cross culture communication.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Are we gay and hugging refugees, or are we hugging refugees who are gay? The inquiring Wonketariat wants to know.

          • OrG

            Why not both?

          • Jennifer R

            GMTA

          • theCryptofishist

            Yes.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Would make a nice T-shirt. Or even a band name.

      • theCryptofishist

        You’ll notice I’ll throw in “refugee huggers” when we are defining Wonkette. The gay didn’t stick in my brain; maybe I’ll remember next time.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I liked it because I never could figure out if we were gay and enjoy hugging refugees, or if the refugees are gay, and we enjoy hugging them. Also, too, it was pretty funny that someone thought they were insulting us by saying that we are inclusive and like to provide hugs.

          • Yes! Hugs are terrible! We should be ashamed!

          • handyhippie65

            if hugs are wrong, i don’t want to be right.

          • Scrofula

            The gay thing works either way.
            And I think it was Jesus who said “Welcoming refugees into your home is for stupid libtards.”

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Damn you “kitten cuddlers” and “puppy petters”!!1!1!!1!!!11!!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            You people disgust me! You probably give crying babies bottles and blankies. Weak. Pathetic. Sad.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            I’m guessing they didn’t get hugs much as kids. Punches, yes.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They are the experts at self-delusion, after all.

  • Swampay

    I can’t even. If any asshole ever says to my face, “why aren’t the demos just accepting defeat and getting on with it” I swear I’m going to go ballistic. This from a party (and individual) who spent EIGHT FREAKIN’ YEARS trying to invent ways that Obama was not our legitimate president because he’s a kenyan muslim socialist time traveler. People who proclaimed loudly and proudly that they want to prevent anything from his agenda from passing. Not, you know, because they were bad ideas (like the current president is likely to produce) but just, well, ’cause.

    Congress: Fight tooth and nail against Trump’s bad ideas. Don’t let that shit pass. But if he comes up with a good idea somehow, yeah, work with that.

    Fuck them all. Fuck them with votes, fuck them in the ear with an elephant dick. Fuck them up the nose with Trump’s tiny fingers. Fuck them all.

    (Dok, I’m trying to stay on the right side of the line here. Understand if I overstepped.)

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      That whole “accepting the election and getting on with it” is a deflection. They seem to have this idea that because our candidate lost we should stop being citizens who engage in political discourse and make our views known to our reps.

      • Truthiness2U

        Worse, our candidate won the popular vote, and not by a small amount. But just enough nitwits in three states, to make our millions more votes, not count.

        So the millions more of us, are going to keep on fighting for democracy, even though they aren’t.

    • CripesAmighty

      More economical version: Cuz birf certiffigut.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Fuck them with Donald’s tiny dick.

    • Other Chris

      You’re all right by me!

  • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

    I’m glad to know that MTV causes racial mixing. That means my ancestors were watching cable back in the 1400’s.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Apparently, so were early homo sapiens when they were mixing with neanderthals

      • Thaumaturgist

        To this day, people marry Republicans.

      • theCryptofishist

        But, you’ll notice, a lot of it happened in what is now Israel. GED Profit.

        • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

          GED Profit? What does that mean?

          • theCryptofishist

            It means I’m A Idiot who cannot find the q.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        and Denisovans!

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        I saw that movie.

      • tehbaddr

        They say once you go Neanderthal, uh, uh then you got some good genetic diversity! Yeah, that’s it, that’s what they say!

        • H0mer0

          Neander Valley “Fever”?

    • CripesAmighty

      And the degradation of the family unit. Why else did Henry VIII hack off the heads of all those nice ladies? That degenerate rock and chamber music!

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        Yes, it was that new fangled thing called a play that made them long to marry those swarthy people from the south.

      • Jamoche
        • lroom

          I love those guys! My 10 yr old Granddaughter is taking cello lessons now because of them.

    • OrG

      They still played music videos then.The M stands for MUSIC.Wake up sheeple!!!!!

    • nightmoth

      With my southern white ancestors, it was slavery that caused racial mixing, although my cousins go “La, la, la” when I tell them that.

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        It never happened. It was all a dream.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Some right-wing comments from a site I frequent, I tried to reason with but they don’t give a crap, I don’t know what to do. Sorry if it goes a bit long.

    “For the ones openly crying, rioting, and acting like spoiled children
    it’s not so much hate but amusement, pity, and disgust. It actually
    could be a good thing from a non-progressive standpoint since the left
    that are acting that way are sowing the seeds of thier own destruction.
    Unless Trump really screws the pooch in his first term, he’ll nearly be
    guaranteed a second term.”
    “The only people acting like Nazis are the media and their puppets rioting.”

    “(Me: I’d like to see evidence to back up your
    statement, or is it being pulled out of thin air? And by the way, a
    simple question of curiosity, would you be happy if “the left” were all
    eradicated form the planet? Like beaten down by police, or listening to
    you so often that they change their minds and follow you? Yes or no?)
    Eradicated? No, all this over the top protesting and crying is providing me with too much entertainment. I hope it gets worse.”

    “Since when did prognosticating require evidence? And personally I think
    younger generations, like the one I belong to, aren’t going to be as
    inclined to let themselves be influenced by the leftists movement after
    what we’ve seen lately.”

    “I call false equivalence. Hatred of Trump comes from the fear inspired
    by taking his own public statements at face value. Hatred of Obama was
    based on suspicions which never had a basis in similarly indisputable
    evidence.”

    “So, hurt feelings and loss of civil rights are the same thing? In 2017,
    everybody in America can vote, everybody in America has equal employment
    opportunities, everybody in America can get a driver’s license unless
    there’s a medical reason they can’t, everybody in America can marry
    (within reason), everybody in America has access to free public
    education (the quality of which is debatable but there are things being
    done to change that). I don’t want to limit any of that for anyone. And
    if you would actually listen to what Trump is saying, he doesn’t want to
    either.”

    “Hurt feelings are exactly why some of these liberals are reaping
    havoc on the political spectrum. So it’s rich to poke fun at centrists
    for having “hurt feelings” about the people protesting like kids over
    hurt feelings.”

    “People that cry about how disrespectful and petty Trump don’t seem to
    understand that they themselves are highly disrespectful and petty to
    our POTUS. It’s a two way street! Trump has a willingness to
    talk and listen to anyone, he’s a deal maker and I think it would be
    wise for Democrats to try to forge a productive relationship with him
    since then he would be more inclined to heed their concerns than if they
    had a working relationship as opposed to histrionics and threats of
    obstructionism. Whining about how Obama was treated ignores Obama’s
    unwillingness to compromise and work across the aisle, he was forced to
    compromise with the center flank of his party but he didn’t need or care
    much about GOP input when Democrats had a super majority.
    I was never as personally disrespectful of Obama as so many left wing
    partisans are now with Trump, they can’t stop themselves from saying the
    most awful disgusting things about him, his immigrant wife, even his 10
    year old son! People that made nasty comments about Barack, Michelle,
    or his children aren’t much better and that’s not something I ever
    participated in since there is so many legitimate things you can say
    about the guy and his presidency without making it personal. When your
    opponent acts like this it doesn’t make you want to heed their argument,
    it makes you want to crush it.”

    • Scrofula

      When they still believe Trump is a “deal maker” you’re not gonna get much else through.

      • TJ Barke

        “deal making” is about profit. Protecting the vulnerable in society is not profitable. THEREFORE IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET HIM TO CARE ABOUT THAT.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Far too many people don’t seem to understand that the goals of a private business and the goals of a democratic government are very different things. The goals of a business are to enrich the few owners at the expense of everyone else. The goals of democratic government are to enrich the whole population. What works for one, in terms of methods and motivations, doesn’t necessarily work for the other. Quite the contrary.

          • TJ Barke

            People are fucking stupid, and getting stupider thanks to the right wing noise machine.

        • Hellhathnofury Demme

          We are trying to get an updated animal shelter built in my town, but some people keep insisting that profitability should be the priority.
          Asking an animal shelter to be profitable is like asking libraries to pay for themselves with late fees.
          (And talk about vulnerable…)

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      Trump has a willingness to talk and listen to anyone, he’s a deal maker and I think it would be wise for Democrats to try to forge a productive relationship with him since then he would be more inclined to heed their concerns than if they had a working relationship as opposed to histrionics and threats of
      obstructionism.

      Assumes facts not in evidence. Gee, if we just grovel and ask Mr. Trump to pretty please listen to our concerns he will refrain from doing all those horrible things he promised to do. I think not.

      • Laffing Crow

        Even if you take this crap at face value, Trump sees every deal as zero sum. There is a winner and a loser, never an equal trade. He goes on and on about winning and the winning deals that he makes. We’ve also seen that it’s not enough for him just to win, he must annihilate and vanquish, or he becomes a very cranky baby.

        “Productive relationship” equals Dems bullied into submission and Trump taking victory laps on Twitter. They know that there really is no “working” with Trump. That’s why they voted for him. They want us crushed and marginalized and they felt like he was the man to do the job. I love how they alternate between “It’s the ovens for you Libtards!” and “Gee whiz, why won’t you sore losers work with us and compromise?”

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          Exactly. And “compromise” means “capitulate.” Next they’ll be saying all non-Republican/non-Trump supporting reps should be barred from Congress.

          • H0mer0

            I recall a similar “Cult of Personality” with regard to Dubya so it wouldn’t surprise me.

          • JH Marx, Resister

            Dubya had a personality?

          • H0mer0

            IK,R? Harriet Meiers thought he was brilliant as did Karen Hughes.

      • Jamoche

        “Your daddy wouldn’t hurt you if you were just a more obedient kid.”

  • Ωbjectifier

    “The point is not the crowd size,” Preibus said on Fox News. “The point is the attacks and the attempt to de-legitimize this president in one day, and we’re not going to sit around and take it.”

    “We are going to fight back tooth and nail every day and twice on Sunday,” Preibus added.

    This whole shitshow could flame out by Memorial Day at this rate.

    • handyhippie65

      oh, pretty please, let it be so.

    • TJ Barke

      That’s largely because he’s an illegitimate president, Rince.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      I’m picturing Rancid Prolapse as more of a slap fight kind of guy myself…

    • tehbaddr

      By his most noodly appendage, may it be so!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re working hard to make sure it’s done by Ground Hog Day.

    • tehbaddr

      Lying media! Fake news! Really just terrible Pathetic. Sad! Those aren’t the facts! We have the true numbers the alternative facts.

      • Laffing Crow

        First alt-right, now alt-facts. I’m going to call them Neo-Nazi-facts.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Maybe Trump’s people were including all the potential sweet little baby jeezus zygotes the white wimmenz were carrying at Trump’s inauguration?

    • Jamoche
      • OrG

        Alternative facts=lies alt-right=fascist,I refuse to use their terminology.

      • HogeyeGrex

        As they say, everyone is entitled to his own opinions, but not his own facts. Someone should really impress that upon KA and the rest of the gang.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      and yet he went with hundreds of thousands of protesters.

    • suziq

      Wow, I like that Cal Perry guy! I might start watching the TV again!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        The outlet formerly known as MSGOP has its problems – it’s still attached to NBC, after all – but it’s far and away the place on the teevee you’re most likely to hear an occasional truth.

  • Pretty good crop of crap this week.
    ETA: Next week will be amazing.

    • Scrofula

      Reality is setting in for them. They’ll only squeal louder as the ship goes down.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        They can squeal LOUDER!?!? Oh, FFS…

        • Scrofula

          I know, but expect a real rats-on-fire screech soon.

    • Master Contrail Program

      A coup in the fall makes the crap piles tall.

    • Ryan Denniston

      The most satisfying part about reading this week’s crop is that they’ll never be able to command the respect of those who disagree. Not even Trump winning will change that.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        And they’re starting to realize that they don’t command Trump’s respect either.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So Trump’s inauguration chairman, Tom Barrack, is saying that Trump had a million and a half supporters at his inauguration. So did Obama have 10 million people at his?

    • Laffing Crow

      He must have. And Trump’s million and a half inaugural supporters are equal to about half of Hillary’s popular vote win over him. See all those people out there Trump? Now imagine what a million and a half would REALLY look like, and then DOUBLE IT! Yeah, maybe now you’re starting to get it. You think you draw crowds? Well, not to the voting booth or the National mall.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      And only less than 200k took the metro.

      • OrG

        Public transit is liberal socialists.Real muricans drive their Cadillacs.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Ok. Just saying, if they fit 1.3 million in 300 busses, imagine how many were in that 1200 the next day.

  • Jan Ness

    I don’t think there are words for that last guy other than he probably has mommy issues and is screaming for help in that post.

    • H0mer0

      Sooo, because he was chilling in a “relationship” for 15 years (didn’t say marriage,) and she got tired of that, he is blaming society for revolving “around the wants of women rather than the needs of stable social units.” Who is playing victim here?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Was he trying to suggest that he was the “stable social unit”? He sure as fuck doesn’t sound like a “stable social unit”.

        • Unpresidented Ron

          Hell, he barely makes one out of three.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah. Now that you mention it, he didn’t exactly put a ring on it, did he.

  • Serai 1
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Baby don’t hurt me, no more…

      • yyyaz

        *bangs head against car window*

    • TJ Barke

      What is this of which you speak?

  • Ryan Denniston

    “And if anyone knows about the multiple
    ways in which democracy can be manipulated before a single vote has been
    cast, it’s John Lewis. ”

    Also, too the invocation of Lewis’ protest record was in response to Trump’s tweet about all talk and no action. If he didn’t tweet, half the butthurt would not be.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “He is someone who thinks he can do
    whatever he wants and say whatever stupid things he wants to because he
    was hit a couple of times when he was younger.”

    Hmmmm. Have you ever Constitutioned sir?

    • Serai 1

      More to the point, sounds a lot like the Orangutan, doesn’t it?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Guess which raging Libtard uttered this:
    “The point of a silly lie like Spicer’s isn’t to convince people of its truth. It’s to demonstrate the powerlessness of the truth.(h/t Havel)”

    • CripesAmighty

      Yup. Another hallmark of tyranny is brazen lying with the full knowledge that no one believes it, demonstratiing that there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

      • yyyaz

        Time to update Hat-rack Ronnie: “I’m from the gummint and I’m here to lie.”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Freaking Bill Kristol said that!!!! Jesus, are cats and dogs mating yet? It truly must be the end times when I’m agreeing with Bill Kristol, Evan McMullin, and George Will…all on the same day. I must be losing my marbles.

        • CripesAmighty

          Yikes!

        • HogeyeGrex

          I am about to go outside to check and see if it’s raining blood.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yeah, well, Havel was always a bit of a McCarthyite.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “society is a racial construct”

    I think you meant to say that race is a social construct.

  • CripesAmighty

    Just now: in response to deadly tornadoes, Mango Moron offers ‘sincere condolences’. Translation: ‘sucks to be you’.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Not even “thoughts and prayer”??? It’s a downward skid, y’all!

      • Serai 1

        Honestly, I prefer sincere condolences. There’s a smarminess about that thoughts-and-prayers thing that always grates on me.

  • Notreelyhelping

    I don’t really care about how many middle managers or junior engineers or retired assholes believe this stuff; I worry about how many cops do.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Also, too FBI agents!

      • Notreelyhelping

        And U.S. Customs Agents.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    It’s just possible Liar Spice was between a rock and a hard place on the crowd-size kerfuffle. Press Secretaries basically have to say whatever the boss tells ’em to. If Trump maintains in the meetings–assuming he actually shows up–that his crowd was the biggest, Spice has no choice but to look like an idiot in the Press Room, and this is guaranteed to fuck up his normally sunny disposition.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      He actually has another choice, difficult though it might be for him: to refuse to be complicit in the lies.

      • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

        he won’t. spicer is complicit in the lies and propaganda the administration is/will be spewing.

    • azeyote

      you must be a nice person but there’s really no rock and hard place here – it’s straight up fascist propaganda delivered by a believer –

    • Serai 1

      Hey, if Spice doesn’t have the stamina and equilibrium to say what’s demanded without falling apart into a tantrum when he’s called out on it, he should not be doing this job.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Seriously, Ari Fleischer told bigger lies before he took his morning piss to the same guardians of liberty and they lapped it up. No reason to get cranky. eta the lies, not the piss.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      “Liar Spice” just made my day. Except it needs to refer to KellyAnne.

    • Querolous

      Possible, yes. Occam’s razor says he probably is an asshole.

  • CripesAmighty

    So, anybody just see the swearing- in of White House senior staff? The province of economists, academics and experts has just been taken over by a menagerie of ex reality-show stars, grifters and internet trolls (shudder).

  • nightmoth

    If czrangelus doesn’t develop better pickup lines, he’ll be 50 and even more unattractive and cleaning a blow-up doll.

  • janecita

    I call myself “janecita” because that’s what my late father used to call me when he needed something, he would say; “Janecita, hazme un favorcito.”

  • Wookie Monster

    “Heroes would be able to take what they dish.”

    Right. Heroes send out angry tweets at 3 am every time someone hurts their fee-fees.

    • gene108

      And use “alternate facts” to estimate crowd size.

  • Jamoche

    The cake is a lie: the baker who made the knockoff inaugural cake didn’t suspect their motives because it was a prop cake:

    MacIsaac said the attention caught her by surprise partly because, per the order, the Trump cake was intended to be more of a prop: All but a three-inch slice at the bottom was inedible.

    “It’s just a Styrofoam cake. It’s not for eating,” she said. “I wasn’t expecting it to be seen on TV.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/food/wp/2017/01/21/trump-had-a-huge-luxurious-inauguration-cake-was-it-plagiarized/?utm_term=.c0ed6117ce16<

    • tehbaddr

      Mostly fake and of no use, how Trumpian!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Why didn’t he just get the person who made this atrocity for him on election night????? Perfectly good cake, amiright??
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/712e4352c0aa8b78888625346582cbe931db1ac2f166e0c8dd1870aecf0bfc13.jpg

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Hey, I tear the living brains from screaming victims and devour them raw, but there is no way in hell I’d eat that.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Yeah, that is some unappetizing looking shit. I bet everyone who was offered a piece was suddenly “gluten-intolerant” or on a diet.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I always kinda thought one of the people in his building bought that to have russian hookers urinate on it.

      • nightmoth

        Hmmmm–squat cobbler, anyone? (Better Call Saul)

    • Laffing Crow

      They’ve probably morphed into thinking that cakes are infected with the gay, or something like that now. They were playing it safe by just going with a small, hopefully hetero, three-inch slice.

      • Jamoche

        Also a real cake on that scale has to cost at least in the thousands, with designer fees and just the structural work to keep it together, plus you have to commission it weeks in advance. A last-minute styrofoam knockoff probably cost a few hundred.

    • Pisto75666

      Also according to the article, the cake was almost identical to the one made for Obama’s second inauguration.

      Jesus, these people just want to steal everything of his, don’t they?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Matthew Yglesias: “Remember when Chris Hughes (rich, Harvard, nice guy, no relevant experience) tried to run a magazine? Now imagine Kushner, but for America.”

    I really thought Kushner and Ivanka would bring Trump to the middle, and make him a moderate president. How wrong I was!

    • OrG

      Whatever made you think that?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Stupidity? I really thought Trump was playing the part of a buffoon to prove a point about the stupidity of the GOP’s base, and that he’d swing to the left once elected. He WAS a Democrat for most of his adult life, as were Jared and Ivanka.

        • OrG

          Have you learned your lesson?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            YASSSSS!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          He was a Democrat in NYC, though, and desperately wanted the approval of his Manhattan neighbors. Rupert Murdoch backed Caroline Kennedy for Clinton’s seat because he needed her to get his kids into a fashionable school.

        • Unpresidented Ron

          He wasn’t playing.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          He might have been able to pull that off if not for the birther thing. My terrifying thought was what if he hadn’t done the birther thing, and then run as a Democrat. How many of us would have fallen for it? And before you say “not ME!!!”, think about it a little bit.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I think he actually would have been MORE successful if he’d run as a Democrat. He would have had to lose the racism, but other than that his message would probably have resonated with Democrats, at least for a while. We probably would have had a problem with the fact that he was a crook.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Kushner already blew running a newspaper and a drove of political sites.

  • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

    Once I hit the terms “red pill,” “blue pill,” anything that smacks of MRA (like the dude who was upset his woman left him which means every woman is a heartless bitch who will get what’s coming to them. Seriously dude, stop hanging out on those message boards and get a life) or history lessons based on Breitbart articles, I just drift off and head for the next article.

    They may not realize this, but we don’t hang on their every word like they are some sort of gurus imparting wisdom.

    • Serai 1

      It’s funny how they hang on ours though, isn’t it?

      • “Oh, you’re not getting to me at all! Here, let me post the same stuff 40,000 times to prove how little I care about what you have to say”

    • Alan

      What’s with the pill colors?

      • OrG

        The Matrix.

        • Alan

          Oh. Thanks. What are they supposed to mean?

          • HazooToo

            Red pill supposedly means you’re deprogrammed and ready to find out the truth. Blue pill means you put your head back in the sand.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            I thought the blue pill meant sex for old guys.

      • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

        The Matrix.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Hey, the nice congressman has a request

    https://twitter.com/RonWyden/status/819222357214658561

    • suziq

      Dammit do I have to get a twitter thingy now? Because I would totally re-tweet. There was a petition on We The People for Trump to release his tax returns. 100,000 signatures is supposed to mean they will respond. In less than a day they got over 158,000. I think the response will be “it is still under audit” and then they take down that whole “We the People” petition page because who left that up there anyway?

      • Serai 1

        I’m very surprised it’s still there. I’d have expected it to disappear within five minutes of him taking office.

        • suziq

          They didn’t notice yet but I am sure it will be gone by Monday noon. Because they don’t work on weekends.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Just, if you do, be prepared to unfriend Trump a lot.

        • suziq

          Hmmm, I guess if I don’t have any followers than retweeting doesn’t do anything does it? I don’t understand the whole tweety thing.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            It helps that tweet and any hashtags on it trend

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Well, I haven’t had him block me yet, so yay?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I’m interested to see whether the presidential account can block citizens.

      • Sister Artemis

        That’s almost all I do with twitter – retweet and like. Seems to help spread the word.

        • Serai 1

          I’ve been thinking I should do that, too. Not to comment myself, but just to see what’s going on and pass things on.

          • CatCafe de la Resistance

            That’s basically what I do, but sometimes it’s hard not to add a comment, after which you get all SORTS of nice tweets calling you a cunt. How nice of Twitter to make sure that men are totally free to abuse and harass women!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        KaCa just stated categorically that he will not release his tax returns because that has already been “litigated” during the campaign.

        • suziq

          Grrrr, okay, I will get the twitter and start retweeting and tweeting and all that. It was already litigated? I thought we were waiting for the audit to be finished? Yeah, I know.

  • Serai 1

    Oh my gods, it’s already started. Look at the curtains.

    https://s.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/rppBiTGOGEsBZo1P9eSbHw–/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3NfbGVnbztxPTg1/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/gma/2017-01-21/6b41c2c0-e00c-11e6-aca8-1ded8b7212cb_GTY-Ovalofficecurtains02-jrl-170121_16x9_608.jpg

    Look at the curtains! Look at the CURTAINS! LOOK AT THE GODDAMN CURTAINS!!!

    He’s really going to do it. We all joked about it, but he really is going to turn the White House into a gaudy nightmare.

    I feel like I’m not in the real world anymore. I know it’s real, but how can it be? Every step farther, I think this is fiction. I know it’s not, but it’s fiction. It’s a bad novel. Or a cruel satire. Or one of those sharply nasty political comedies. It’s fucking Bob Roberts, except worse. Holy shit.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bd7879d058ba6f34fd1a673865c610af155110a8cbc92118ff02481783450837.gif

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Have you ever seen his plane? Everything is gold plated, including the seat belt buckles.

      • Serai 1

        His apartment is featured in the film Devil’s Advocate, in which one of the villains is a venal, selfish, depraved Manhattan real estate developer who’s accused of the brutal murder of his wife. (The cherry on the cake is that the guy is played by Craig T. Nelson.) My gods, that place is hideous. How can anyone actually live there?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          It’s so 1980s too. I think his first wife decorated it, and it’s obviously not been updated since. With all his alleged money you think he could afford to hire a decent designer and update it a little.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          It’s very Jamaica Estates nouveau.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Damn now I want a cherry cake.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        At one point he tried to get them to line the cabins of the Trump Shuttles with marble. The nice engineers had a time convincing him they’d be too heavy to fly.

        • Pisto75666

          I wonder if they’re any relation to those people who tried to tell Der Orange Fuhrer exactly why he can’t just bomb the hell out of whoever he wants, whenever he wants.

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          Yes, I was just about to comment the same thing. It’s true!

      • CripesAmighty
    • tehbaddr

      Classy! So good you’re not going to believe it!

      • Tallmutha

        You’ll get sick of good! You’ll beg me! “Please, less good!”

      • Rick Hill

        Going to toss that old hunk of wood desk they have, too. Something with gilt carvings, proly women with giant hooters!

        • suziq

          That desk is like really old anyway. Been around a hundred years or so. Can’t they afford something more new and classy?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I’m glad that while the government isn’t getting staffed with competent people he has time to make sure he likes the decor.

      • tehbaddr

        Priorities whut is they?

    • m3bosha

      I’m so glad someone else noticed. I was thinking surely those weren’t there 3 days ago.

    • CripesAmighty

      Oh, you knew it. By the time they’re done, the White House is gonna look like the ‘Versailles DeLuxe’ model at Ernie’s Discount Mobile Home Emporium.

    • Courser

      I find myself rocking right along with Sheen’s headbanging.

      I’m right there with you. I’ve read a fuckton of apocalyptic fiction and this all has been right out of central casting, if you will. It’s fucking textbook in every way. A nightmare unfolding in the worst possible ways every single day. I’m not really a believer, but it’s as if God has turn his back on us. But as a metaphor, yeah, that’s exactly how I feel. Like the universe has decided we’re to stupid too help any longer.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      He’s a classy guy, Donnie is.

      • OrG

        Fake news.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Don’t despair, my American friends. The British figured out what to do about this a long time ago. This time, though, they’ll use lighters instead of flint and steel.

    • Pisto75666

      It would be impossible not to speculate just how the curtains got that ugly gold color

      • OrG

        It was peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

      • Serai 1

        It’s not just the color, they’re shiny. It’s SO FUCKING TACKY.

        • Pisto75666

          Maybe Putin got them at a discount?

  • andyshelt

    And the Idiocracy marches on as they double down on the obvious and easily disprovable lies about the size of the crowds at the inauguration. Trump’s press secretary Sean Spicer said it was the “largest audience to ever witness an inauguration – period – both in person and around the globe”.

    Pressed on Mr Spicer’s claims by Chuck Todd, Kellyanne Conway said Spicer had been presenting “alternative facts”.

    “Alternative facts are not facts they are falsehoods,” Todd replied.

    Ms Conway insisted there was “no way to really quantify crowds”

    So now we can add inability to count to Conway’s many other failings!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e5bf1313153b5658f48e979f9651ce450a04013f43b1ad6a1e0494d6660c017f.jpg

    Trump’s inauguration (left) and Obama’s in 2009, viewed from the Washington Monument

    • Rick Hill

      Are they going to throw in people who watched it on youtube, too?

      • CripesAmighty

        Somebody else came up with a metric based on the idea that it was an exercise in representative democracy, to wit: each real participant represented 6 on the couch in a meth/OxyContin stupor:
        250000×6 and, voila, 1.5 million!

    • Unpresidented Ron

      ‘no way to really quantify crowds’
      Kellyanne, sugar? It’s called ‘counting.’ It uses ‘numbers.’ You can look up the meanings of those words in the dictionary.
      … a ‘dictionary’ is a book that tells you…
      … a ‘book’ is an object made of many sheets paper that contains words arranged in…
      … ‘words’ are… oh, fuck it.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      There was a really funny series of tweets on the Twatter, basically “Sean Spicer facts,” with the picture of him at the press conference, saying “Godfather 3 was by far the best Godfather, and won dozens of Academy Awards,” etc etc.

    • phoenix00

      > “Alternative facts are not facts they are falsehoods,” Todd replied.

      Chuck…… Todd? Saying something……reasonable and cognizant?

      /mind. blown.

    • Jasonp Jason

      The pic on the right was taken at the time of Obama’s speech while the pic on the left was taken in the early morning well before Trump even took the podium, BS misleading comparison

      • andyshelt

        Time for a new tinfoil hat you fucking moron. Or you could back up your conspiracy bullshit by posting photographic evidence that shows the crowds at Trump’s inauguration being larger than Obama’s.

        Looking at your Disqus comment history I found this example of your idiotic tinfoil hat stupidity.

        “The Boston bombings was a staged event using actors”

        Fucking moron!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    When the movie The Campaign came out years ago, I didn’t realize the fictional character Cam Brady would make the current president look bad in comparison.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Mike Pence is not pleased by all this falderol from the wimmenfolk, no sir…

    http://www.theonion.com/article/mike-pence-disappointed-200000-husbands-and-father-55116

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This article is actually making the rounds, cut-and-pasted, of a bunch of fake news sites. I think ole Mike might actually be the subject of some great VP memes after all.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    How about some happy nice time? This is the un-retouched actual iphone photo of the sunst last night in Cardiff. A pink sky to look at after a long day protesting in downtown San Diego with 40,000 of my brothers and sisters. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/22fd3b168cb437e7c6c4ea559331449e222d0475c33dcca586d77f028b277128.jpg

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh my. How beautiful.

    • HazooToo

      Thanks, I needed that.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      CA has the best sunsets!

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Mother Nature is doing her best to make a point.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, and she’s seriously pissed off at Manhattan, for some reason.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        She put a pussy hat in the sky.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      I didn’t realize Wales was so beautiful!

      • HogeyeGrex

        Or had palm trees.

        • A_Changeling

          That is just wrong.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Haha. How about Cardiff-by-the-Sea?

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          Just my little joke haha

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Red sky at night, sailors delight!

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    People are saying that Donald Trump’s tax returns will show that he isn’t really all that wealthy, and that he owes a ton of money to Russian-held interests. Some people say that’s why he’s working so closely with Russia (and selling out American interests).

    I’m sure this scurrilous story will be debunked once he makes his tax returns public. Until then, that’s what they’re saying online. It might be true.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Some people are saying that Sean Spicer molests small, defenseless animals. I don’t know if that is true or not, but some people say that!

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        I heard there’s a tape out there of Sean Spicer molesting a squirrel. I think I remember seeing it on YouTube before it was pulled.

      • Rick Hill

        Poppycock! He is too weak kneed to actually molest them. He pays top dollar for animal abuse porn.

      • Tallmutha

        Some people say he doesn’t, but you’re just presenting alternate facts.

        • Serai 1

          Well, he hasn’t denied it.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Hes just asking the question after all

    • Rick Hill

      I think they show his name isn’t really donald trump.

    • snark-lurker

      oh it is true all right – it is on the inner net QED

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        I think we’re going to see a link appear in the next few weeks. A link to Donald Trump’s tax returns showing that he owes Russia money.

        It would be a shame if something like that happened and it weren’t true. Then he’d have to release his tax returns to reassure an anxious nation that he’s a man of honor and a man of his word.

        • snark-lurker

          excellent concept

          • Sedagive ’em Hell

            I have faith that someone, somewhere will make it a reality.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Eh, he’ll show them next year, when he really is rich.

    • cmd resistor

      I think Kelly Anne went on one of the Sunday shows and said he wouldn’t be releasing them — rationale being people didn’t really care because they elected him without seeing them….or some such shit.

  • Serai 1

    As wonderful as yesterday was, there was one glaring, awful injustice connected with it.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-womens-march-has-a-shameful-problem_us_58837377e4b08f5134b62101

    That was unconscionable.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Actually it gave me great joy that bloviating ass Michael Moore was shut down by Ashley Judd, who got a very nice response for namechecking Hillary.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNXMOxBbt6g

      • Serai 1

        Holy shit, there’s a woman who should run for President. That’s some powerful preaching!

        • I wouldn’t have thought of Ashley Judd as a great orator, but I was clearly wrong.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Young woman who wrote the poem is pretty damn impressive too.

      • How many dudes immediately ran for the hills the moment she started talking about menstruation? “EW! GROSS! I just want to have fun with it! I don’t want to know how it works!”

        • Serai 1

          I doubt any of the guys there did.

        • cmd resistor

          Ha, I loved that. It reminded me of college days where we thought men should have to pay a tax that would cover tampons since they got out of the rest of the pain of it all.

    • That is shameful.

      • Serai 1

        All the slogans and phrases connected with Hillary were there, but no official recognition of her existence. The one terribly sad note about the whole thing. I hope they get called out and answer for it, because it felt like a deliberate insult, frankly. You lost, so you’re not worth even a mention.

        • And of course, we expected that response from the men. “Oh, she lost, so she’s irrelevant!” It’s another thing to have that come from the allies with whom and for whom you’ve been fighting.

          • MΩebym

            I found this essay to be enlightening on the subject.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            Thanks for the link. That essay made me feel sad.

          • Serai 1

            Makes you wonder just how deep their loyalty goes if they can turn on the whole reason for their movement like that.

          • MΩebym

            They have no loyalty except to themselves and their own ideals. Their current “loyalty” is a temporary stepping stone.

        • MΩebym

          It’s even worse when you think that Hillary said she was willing to be the “tip of the spear” for women and girls. The LEAST you can do is acknowledge her role in shaping all this.

        • Martini Ambassador

          There were a lot of marchers at mine that were carrying signs with Hillz quotes and pictures. Whether the organizers recognize it or not, many us find in HC a real inspiration to continue the good fight.

          • Tallmutha

            That’s interesting, because I saw virtually none in NYC–and I was looking, and I saw a LOT of signs. Like so many of the best Americans, maybe she’s more popular abroad.

          • Sedagive ’em Hell

            I saw a few “I’m Still with Her” signs, and a “Thank You Hillary” sign in NYC, but she was underrepresented, it’s true.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            I’ve posted this before, but here’s another shout-out to our sisters at the Santa Fe march who remembered Hillary.
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7493060ba93f28766d77d631922c42c864f786ec382dfbc4b5d5b95a037276ef.jpg

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      You are right – it is unconscionable.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      I know, I thought exactly the same thing.

      • Serai 1

        So much for solidarity.

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          Makes me so sad. She must be so fucking brokenhearted at the slight.

          • Serai 1

            At least Ashley had the guts to name her.

    • Tallmutha

      That pissed me off a lot– and spurred me to make a sign with her picture, captioned “My President.” It got a few approving looks, but I saw no more than one or two other signs acknowledging her existence.

      • Serai 1

        The worst thing is the example they’re setting for young feminists, that it’s perfectly okay to abandon someone when they become incovenient, and not to stick up for a fellow woman when she deserves it. It embodies everything they complain about and they’re completely unaware that’s what they’re projecting.

  • I’m absolutely certain that there has been some mention of Dan Rather’s Faceplace screed on Trump, but this little bit leaped out at me:

    “The press has never seen anything like this before. The public has never seen anything like this before. And the political leaders of both parties have never seen anything like this before.”

    Uh, yes you have. Yes, we have. Yes, they have.

    On the one hand, good for you to be willing to use the “L” word. But, don’t imply that this is something completely new in politics. It isn’t. It has a name. And that needs to be said, as well. It isn’t up to us to be nice and fail to call out demagoguery when we see it. It is up to them to not act like demagogues.

    • HogeyeGrex

      It isn’t up to us to be nice and fail to call out demagoguery when we see it. It is up to them to not act like demagogues.

      I’m going to be re-using that.

  • HazooToo

    Seriously, I just spent all day on WHTM, and now I come back here to try and get away from batcrap crazy men for a while, and the butthurt Nazi/MRA shits are featured on DSFB. Do I just have the world’s shittiest timing?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      There’s soup thataway —>

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Neil DeGrasse Tyson, “Our problem is not Donald Trump. The problem is that there are millions of him in the wings.”

    • tehbaddr

      Just a symptom of the underlying rot.

    • OrG

      Sorry Neil,trump IS our problem at the moment.

      • tehbaddr

        He and all his followers, the abscess runs deep!

    • Other Chris

      It can be two problems.

  • Unpresidented Ron

    Seriously, I never once imagined they’d be sore WINNERS. It’s like they secretly know the shitstain cheated to get the job and they’re terrified he might get caught. Poor babies.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Sore winners, sore losers, sore after a draw, sore if the game is called on account of rain…they’re always sore. They resent the fact they are expected to compete at all, especially against people who aren’t “real Americans” in their ignorant, hateful, blinkered view. How I despise them!

      • MΩebym

        This may provide some insight into why they seem to be angry all the damn time, even after they “win”. The world changed since they were young, and they feel deeply threatened and insecure in their new place in this world.

        https://twitter.com/Oireachtas_RX/status/705732627412688897

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        Our democracy (such as it is) occasionally delivers results that they don’t like.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        ‘They resent the fact they are expected to compete at all…’
        Damn, how did I never see that before? I think back on all the times I’ve heard these people being all butthurt, and yeah, it always boils down to, ‘I’m on top! Why are other people disputing this?’

    • tehbaddr

      What if, he’s doesn’t really have our best interested in mind? What’s with the Russians? Make ‘Merkia Great again, fuck the the libtards and the non-white peoples!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Republicans are always sore losers. The Affordable Care Act was warmed over pablum from The Heritage Foundation. They were opposed to it, and fought it tooth and nail, and compared it to slavery…their OWN plan!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        It’s their plan, but it’s got his name on it, so they hate it. End of the thought process, such as it is.

        • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

          But they’re the ones who put his name on it!

    • A_Changeling

      Well, women still won’t put out and people still aren’t in awe of their intellect, so they haven’t really won yet. And never will.

  • Juan de Fuca

    *Thinks to self* Dave Stallman…Dave Stallman

    Damn! That is the guy who came on here calling all of us cowards for not using our real names and after doing a quick search of his Disqus account, found out he is *that guy* who goes on Mixed Martial Arts blogs calling some professional UFC fighters, “pussies.” I’d forgotten about him.

    You might want to be careful using your own name Dave if you’re going to go around on the Internet calling professional fighters, pussies. It doesn’t always end up well:

    When Curtis Woodhouse lost his English light-welterweight title on points to Shane Singleton on Friday night , he was branded a “disgrace” on the social networking site by ‘Jimmyob88’‏, who has reportedly been abusing Woodhouse on Twitter for months.

    The boxer was so enraged with the tweets that he offered his followers a £1,000 reward if they could help him locate the culprit. Woodhouse’s growing number of Twitter followers chipped in and managed to track down his troll.

    Woodhouse set off to find his troll, tweeting a photograph of the street on which Jimmyob88 lived. “Right Jimbob, I’m here,” he wrote, adding: “Someone tell me what number he lives at or do I have to knock on every door #itsshowtime.”

    Realising the error of his ways, Jimmyob88 replied: “I am sorry it’s getting a bit out of hand. I am in the wrong. I accept that.” A triumphant Woodhouse went home, joking that he could have saved himself some petrol money by blocking his cowardly abuser.

    Woodhouse has been hailed as a hero online, with Lennox Lewis, John Prescott and Joey Barton all offering messages of support after the story broke on Mashable.

    Many of us use Nyms for different reasons, humor, privacy, family and simply because there are plenty of crazies out there – like you, Dave. One thing I’m pretty sure of is that many of us don’t say things online that we wouldn’t say out here in the real world. I told a Trump supporter at work last Friday – “Fuck Trump” just as I say it in here. In fact, I say it everytime somebody brings up Trump at work. I even laugh and shake my head at the idiotic reasons why some of my friends support him, point out why I think they’re dragging us all down the wrong road. At times, I even use “low-information voter” – yes, in the real World but with just enough snark and humor to keep it from getting too personal at work, because it’s work. Would indeed tell Trump how I feel about him if he to were to drop by my house right now and asked me.

    Five bucks says that if former UFC champ Jose Aldo were to stop by your house tomorrow, you probably wouldn’t call him a pussy like you did online. That’s a coward.

    https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2013/mar/12/english-boxer-curtis-woodhouse-twitter-troll

    • Serai 1

      So you guys believe that’s his real name? ‘Cause I sure don’t.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I don’t know. Could be a fake name. If it is his real name, he’s A IDIOT for posting his ridiculous comments and actually standing behind them like, “Yeah, I’m Dave Stallman and I actually said that stupid shit so all of my coworkers can know to avoid me in the break area at work.”

        • Scrofula

          Heh. Coworkers.

          • gaybymml96

            Why do I keep thinking “Cyril Figgis” at this moment….

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          I suspect that he’s such a huge asshole that his coworkers, if any, already avoid him.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From Betty Bowers: “TRUMP FANS: Those “racist Democrats” John Lewis fought are now Republicans, like you! (Your love of USA stops short of knowing her history)”

    • Other Chris

      She’s the best christian.

  • aktlib101

    Woo hoo, the crazies are coming out of the woodwork, and they have glorious ideas. TWO days into Von Clownstick’s unpresidency, a few patriotic GOP Congresspeople sponsor bill proposing to terminate US membership in the UN (well, technically, they were mulling over the idea ever since Obama did not block the UN resolution condemning Israel settlement building policies)
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/01/republican-lawmakers-sponsor-bill-to-terminate-u-s-membership-in-the-united-nations/

    • CripesAmighty

      And now, Dump’s apparently gonna follow through on the ‘promise’ to move the US embassy to Jerusalem. Kaboom.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        If there’s one thing America is yearning for, it’s another war in the Mideast. That should help cement Dump’s popularity.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Well, my lovely nasty vile little snark mob. It was nice knowing you. Here’s hoping Evanston is far enough from downtown Chicago that the Fat Boy bomb will only have minor radiation effects up here.

        • Serai 1

          If the bombs fly, there’ll be no escaping it. I’d rather go fast in a flash than rot slowly.

    • A_Changeling

      I don’t know much when it comes to the UN, but if the US left wouldn’t Israel be screwed?

      • phoenix00

        Hey let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, mmkay?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Jeez, you’re not supposed to THINK about these things! You just DO them.

      • sadboy

        From what I’ve read, Israeli intelligence services are going to stop sharing info with USA out of fear that Trump’s Russian handlers will pass along the details to Iran.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      Oh, they’ve been wanting to leave the UN at least since the Rails-to-Trails initiative proved that Agenda 21 was a conspiracy thing. Or something.

  • JoeChristmas

    Apparently, these fizzle knuckles got hit in the head too many times:

    Obama’s horrible decisions – his laughable weakness that has allowed the world to burn down around him – the Obama administration’s corruption and total disregard for the laws of our nation – Obama’s continued support of terrorists – and Obama’s many covert attempts to destroy America from the inside.

    • OrG

      We were in great shape when Obama took office,and look at us now.Wait….whut?

    • HogeyeGrex

      They live in an entirely separate world. Where apparently, this isn’t true:
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1dab921a546073e03476950f42f8dfdad913968bd7c73923ef51f84285632521.png
      and we all live in some sort of smoking hole in the ground due solely to Obama’s Presidency.

      The willful self-delusion is truly impressive.

      • Scrofula

        JUST PRROF OF LIBTARD JUDGE BIAS!!!

      • Apple Scruff

        And experts keep saying that Trump will outdo Nixon when it comes to lying and corruption. Should be a fun few years!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Reagan was no slouch either, but he was a charming crook.

        • OrG

          Do we need “experts” for that?

        • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

          He hasn’t already?

      • phoenix00

        > Richard Nixon –> 76 Criminal Indictments –> 55 Criminal Convictions

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5B9XwFY24g

        • HogeyeGrex

          Also, too: I don’t think the Reagan and Bush pere #s take into account the blanket pardons of Bog knows how many culpable fucknuggets that should have gone down for Iran-Contra and would have taken GHWB with them.

          • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

            So much this. Watching Iran-Contra simply disappear was the first time I was aware of watching history literally being re-written in front of my eyes.

      • Alexander Stallwitz
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Amazingly, these same people didn’t notice that Bush presided over a bank collapse, a stock market crash, two prolonged wars which we lost, huge national debts, pissed off all of our allies, housing prices that collapsed almost overnight, and 800,000 people per MONTH losing their jobs.

      • OrG

        That was all Bill’s fault.

      • Mike Steele

        You forgot tossing aside the PDB briefing that warned of 9/11 attack while lolling in the Adirondack chairs with Condi in Crawford.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I love how they always talk about Obama being the “golfer in chief” as though Bush did nothing but keep the old nose to the grindstone.

          • suziq

            Bet Donnie doesn’t play any golf for the next 4 years. Right? Many people are saying.

  • lroom

    Well I’ve got just one question. What the fuck is a dendu?

    • akryan

      just so you don’t have to descend into racist 4chan strings I’ll tell you. Believe it or not it’s a racial slur. It’s what those blacks always say to the cops when they’re being shot during traffic stops. “I DIN’ DO it,”. Get it? Din’do = Dendu. The dumb fucks don’t even spell the slur right.

      • nightmoth

        Thx for the info.

      • lroom

        Thanks. That is about as stupid as the rest of the crap they spew.

  • HogeyeGrex

    OT, but, Oh, Dallas Stars, I may have to start liking you:
    http://images.dailykos.com/images/354511/story_image/IMG_0722.JPG?1485106965

    • tehbaddr

      That’s ice football, right?

      • phoenix00

        There are goalies. With pads. And sticks.

    • Apple Scruff

      I saw this!!! DEAD.

  • folderol

    Trump won’t be releasing his tax returns. “Alternative Facts”, meet “Alternative Honesty”. You two will get along fabulously.

    • SnarkON

      Well, this comes as a huge shock.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • phoenix00

      “Gone upside down, this world has.”

      – some tiny intergalactic green creature.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Watch out for the Demilich

  • Poly_Ester

    OT but did Sarah Palin write Donnie’s CIA speech? Such word salad, I think he said “You don’t need to investigate me CIA, because we’re on the same side.”

    • suziq

      Okay then since he cleared that up we’re good!

  • gaybymml96

    I think I’mma need a shower after reading this post. So much stank!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “Stupid racist pieces of shit, like Georgia Democratic Rep. John Lewis, will continue to push the idea that all criticism of Obama is because of his race (half of it at least), instead of Obama’s horrible decisions – his laughable weakness that has allowed the world to burn down around him – the Obama administration’s corruption and total disregard for the laws of our nation – Obama’s continued support of terrorists – and Obama’s many covert attempts to destroy America from the inside.”

    Thank God we’ve got a president who’s going to build America up, by letting Russia run it.

    • OrG

      By “God” you mean putin,right?

    • nightmoth

      Yeah, well, like the Waylon & Willie song says: “Up against the wall, redneck mother.”
      (Looking nervously over shoulder for banhammer.)

      • OrG

        That was Waylon and Willie?

        • nightmoth

          Wasn’t it? Pretty sure they cut a version. Great song, anyhoo.

          • OrG

            Google machine says Jerry Jeff Walker.

          • nightmoth

            Oh, cool! Thanks! (too lazy to google ) Progressive country, or whatever you call it, was great.

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • Suse

      Just saw her on MTP. She got into it with C Toad. There were squirrels running around in the background.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Did you notice the mascara streaks down her face? It looked like she’d been crying. Maybe she was weeping for the horror she helped unleash on America.

        • Suse

          She looks horrible and is horrible in reality. She has no conscience. She’s fully on board to help destroy our country.

          • nightmoth

            My husband, who is FAR nicer than me, thinks she was a pretty child who was abused, probably sexually, and now she knows nothing but victimization. Like I said, he’s nicer than I am.

        • Mike Steele

          Not a chance. Attention-whore, just like Cheeto Grande.

    • Apple Scruff

      Wait, is this real??? That’s not photoshopped onto the photo??

      • CindyinEncinitas

        i’m no expert. i cant independently verify but i have no reason to think it’s not real.

    • aktlib101

      The pussy-buttons are priceless. Trump can grab at them all they long, distract himself from tweeting garbage

      • Apple Scruff

        But Kellyanne Conway is too old and not enough of a 10 for Trump. SAD!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Wow! How long before the Trump supporters move to South America and drink the grape koolaid? Seems like they just need a gentle nudge….

    • OrG

      Too many brown people.

      • janecita

        Not in Argentina.

    • aktlib101

      Oh, you mean Argentina? Bet some of those Nazis are stil alive down there. Great historical perspective they provide.

  • Apple Scruff

    It’s not just Trumpians. I saw more than a few “Fuck John Lewis. He threw Bernie Sanders under the bus” from some Bernie Bros that are still crying on Twitter.

    • janecita

      Same “protest voters” that didn’t vote, or voted for Trump out of spite. Fuck those peeps!

      • Iam Reading

        In the ear, with ice pick shaped votes.

    • MΩebym

      These same people who complained that “Clintonistas” think that HRC can’t let us down, we can only let her down think that Bernie can’t be wrong, he can only be wronged.

      Vomit.

    • A_Changeling

      I suspect some “Bernie people” might be Russian too. Divide and conquer and all that.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        I tend to agree.

    • phoenix00

      I don’t even wanna think about how that is supposed to compute

  • RugzYaBurnt

    What’s with the triple parentheses? Can anyone explain this to me? Do they think it’s armor to keep the Lizard People from penetrating their thoughts? What?

    • Suse

      I think it’s supposed to identify Jews.

      • RugzYaBurnt

        Ooooooooooookay?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      It’s some dumb alt-right anti-semitic thing. I can’t help but wonder what Sheldon Adelson thinks of the anti-semitism he helped unleash on America.

      • OrG

        Doesn’t care as long as he’s making $.

      • RugzYaBurnt

        Sheldon Adelson is a fan of anything that is good for Sheldon Adelson, up to and including the rise of American neo-Nazism.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      (((Jooz)))

      Also: (((hugs)))

    • Carpe Vagenda

      One of their disturbed children with too much time on their hands wrote some code so they could target jews or jew sympathizers by surrounding their nyms with parentheses. Decent adult humans responded by changing their names to include parentheses.

      • Zyxomma

        So … I’m polling my fellow Wonketteers. Should I change my nym to (((Zyxomma)))?

        • Querolous

          I’m thinking (((Yeshua)))

    • suziq

      I like your guess better! Luckily they have no thoughts to penetrate.
      (((who cares?)))

  • janecita
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I thought conservative women weren’t allowed to be at the march?
    “Though a woman’s right to choose has long been a major component of feminism, these marchers believe being a feminist actually means standing up against abortion. “You can be pro-life and you can be a feminist. A lot of people separate the two. Feminism is standing up for the best for women, and demanding that women get the best in our country,” anti-choice marcher Annie Riley, of upstate New York, told the Cut. Part of that, she explained, is protecting women from what she and other anti-choice activists believe are the damaging psychological effects of getting an abortion (even though a recent study found that being denied an abortion is far more traumatic than having one).”

    http://nymag.com/thecut/2017/01/pro-choice-and-pro-life-feminists-at-the-womens-march.html

    • janecita

      I would love it, if those whack jobs would stop calling themselves “feminists.” How can they be feminists, but basically say that women shouldn’t have autonomy over their own bodies, it makes absolutely no sense!

    • suziq

      Yeah, she shouldn’t have been allowed to speak. March yes-all invited.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Part of that, she explained, is protecting women from what she and other anti-choice activists believe are the damaging psychological effects of getting an abortion comes from having an authoritarian personality that makes her believe she has the right to project her personal beliefs and decisions onto others.

      FTFH

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I always say to women like her “if you’re opposed to abortion, don’t have one.”

    • nightmoth

      The only negative thing for me at the Atlanta march was a couple of evangelicals (men, of course) at the beginning, who were desperately trying to witness that if we “believed” in either abortion or homosexuality then we didn’t “believe” in Jesus and were going to Hell. Most people ignored them, a few people engaged them politely, but after my hubby called them to my attention, I walked over, was polite for about two minutes, then went absolutely ballistic on them. Waved my Resist Fascism sign at them. Shouted at them that they were idolatrous Bible worshippers. I thought I’d be ashamed of myself, but I’m not. I’m damn sick and tired of self-righteous christianists cherry-picking Bible verses to pretend they’re superior beings, while not doing anything Jesus told them to do. Also, they left.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        That’s fantastic! You should have asked them if they voted for the pussy grabber who cheats on his wives, including the current soft core porn model, when she was pregnant. I’m sure they did, the hypocrites.

        • nightmoth

          HA! We know they did, fuckin’ hypocrites.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          And MY big question.,.. do they prefer that Trump grab their wives pussies or their daughters? So many pussies to grab!

    • Thiazin Red

      Yeah, no you can’t. Not at all.

    • SnarkON

      Go fuck yourself, Annie, you pro-forced-birth hypocrite.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      I believe feminism is about recognizing that women are free to do what is best for them and their families. So if you don’t want to shave your legs, you don’t – but you don’t shame women who do as being slaves to the patriarchy or whatever. If one partner wants to work and the other doesn’t, yay, lucky; but otherwise, you reach a compromise, you share the burden.

      And if you don’t want an abortion, you don’t get one, but you don’t force women to become incubators just because of some random chance meeting between two cells that happens to lead to potential life that can hardly be detected by modern science before it’s been around for less than 8 weeks and even then is about 20% likely to spontaneously cease to exist.

      But hey, that’s just, like, my opinion, man.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Sounds like a pretty good opinion to me!

  • Martini Ambassador
    • suziq

      I don’t think he really understands the “public servant” part. Nobody ever explained it to him.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That’s the only sense in which he’s “my” president. And I’d fire the incompetent shitgibbon in a minute, if I had the chance.

        • suziq

          As an employer who has hired and fired people I never would have hired him. And if for some reason he did get through he would not have lasted long! I don’t think he really knows how to do anything but tweet.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      He’s never had a real boss, now he has 320 million of them.

      • Scrofula

        He’s never had real employees. He’s a goddamned real estate investor, not a fuckin CEO.
        People believe that Apprentice shit. He’s never had rank-and-file or even payroll to handle. Just a lawyer, accountant, and some gophers to read for him.

    • tehbaddr

      Huzza!

    • SnarkON

      SNAP.

    • Kitty Smith

      You know, I showed that to a friend of mine on Skype.

      “I’d appreciate that more if, in the back of my mind, I wasn’t immediately reminded of ever old murder mystery where, inevitably, the butler did it.”

  • Iam Reading

    I would happily discorporate every MRA in murikkka, with votes. As it happens, my votes are shaped like tiger hook swords.

  • Résistance Land Shark

    Trump’s Lies vs. Your Brain
    Unfortunately, it’s no contest. Here’s what psychology tells us about life under a leader totally indifferent to the truth.

    But Donald Trump is in a different category. The sheer frequency, spontaneity and seeming irrelevance of his lies have no precedent. Nixon, Reagan and Clinton were protecting their reputations; Trump seems to lie for the pure joy of it.

    • suziq

      I don’t know if he necessarily gets joy from or even realizes he is lying. I think he opens his mouth and words pop out. No thought involved either way.

      • Suse

        I’m sure he’s been lying since he first began talking as a child.

      • Keith Taylor

        I would say you’re right. Donald Trump comes across to me as someone to whom the truth is … whatever comes out of his mouth at any given moment.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          I think the OP has it right: indifference to the truth.
          Trump may or may not know what’s real, but it’s irrelevant. He simply doesn’t give a shit. All that matters is what he can get his marks to believe: “Who cares? I made a million bucks.”

  • Suse
    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      That captures the essence of their ugliness.

      • Suse

        Ivanka holding Reince is hilarious.

        • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

          …and the uber-pinched face of Pence, poor sad Melania, and Uday and Qusay with their endangered species kitty.

    • A_Changeling

      Beautiful.

    • tehbaddr

      Ain’t nobody got time for that! I gots work to do and bills to pay!

    • Markuserektus

      No one is smiling.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Chris Christie – did they have him stuffed?

      • Scrofula

        Jared Kushner is stepping on his neck.

        I didn’t see Carson,was he too sleepy to make it?

      • phoenix00

        Get him to a buffet and he’ll do it himself.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Bookmakers are dropping their odds on Trump getting impeached, since so much money is coming in that thinks he won’t make it through one term.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-impeachment-odds-inauguration-halved-bookies-latest-money-president-a7535696.html

  • Celtic_Gnome

    You know, I can see czaraneglus’s point. Or at least his “woman’s”. It’s clear she took a good, hard look at him, figured she could do better, and decided it would be in everyone’s best interests to stop that genetic line right here and now.

  • Keith Taylor

    Whoa. Wait. Let me be certain I have the above statement from … someone or other who doesn’t like John Lewis … correct. “He’s not a hero. He’s a zero. Heroes would be able to take what they dish.” Like Donald Trump who is so thin-skinned and childish he cannot take anything without dashing off a resentful tweet about it? And is besides “a natural born liar and unable to tell the truth on a wager”? (More than one fact check on his debates with Hillary Clinton proved that one, and he’s been proving it further himself ever since. As when he tweeted that Representative Lewis’s district is a crime-ridden hell-hole in terrible shape. That’s Atlanta, Georgia, he was tweeting about.)
    I will make two flat statements. Donald Trump is a hollow paper-mache mask with nothing behind it. John Lewis has substance and guts.

    • BMW

      “He’s not a hero. He’s a zero.”

      I didn’t watch “Friends” very much, but I remember one time Phoebe saying she used to believe stuff just because it rhymes. That’s now kind of one of my informal tests to see if someone is dumb.

    • cmd resistor

      Paraphrased version of why my brother has been posting, along with the “he hasn’t done anything except that one time he got beaten up and has been taking advantage of white guilt ever since.” Had he been able to find his way to Wonkette, his FB comments would have been contenders for top deleted comments. They must get some script somewhere, well I guess FOX and Brietbart and those ilks.

  • tehbaddr

    BTW here’s a plug that isn’t. I am in no way affiliated with anything or anybody @ WFMU.org. But if you want to go on a sonic joy ride, tune into Hello Children, w/ Faye. It is most excellent. In fact I’m listening to it now!

  • Sister Artemis

    Are we being off-topic yet? This was a good view of Sean Spicer’s performance art piece yesterday:
    Is Sean Spicer Gaslighting the Press?

    • Scrofula

      “Kadavergehorsam”–that’s a good term.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Oh, we’ve been off topic for quite a while, now.

    • phoenix00

      > “Yes, we know that you know we are lying, but we don’t care! We do it because we can and you can’t stop us!”

      Why is such a large percentage of Americans ok with this? Just because it fits some polico-religious narrative? Why is this even encouraged let alone tolerated?

      • OrG

        1) I don’t the percentage is that large.2)Because they’re stupid.

        • phoenix00

          The percentage is/was large enough to get Trump elected, Electoral College notwithstanding. And yes I realize they Is Stupids but why is the percentage of Amurican Stupids so bloody high?

          (rhetorical questions I know……. don’t be pressured to answer coherently)

          • Keith Taylor

            After checking all the facts I can, and thinking about it, I’m seriously convinced the percentage isn’t that high. I think this presidential election was outright hi-jacked and stolen by the Republican Party. Reasons? Well, the Russian hacking thing is a fair way down the list for me. This was the first presidential election to take place since a Supreme Court decision tore the spine and muscle out of the Voting Rights Act in 2013, and made it possible for states with a sorry record of depriving people of franchise on racial grounds, to install new regulations on voter ID without clearing it with the Federal government. Then there was (a major thing) Kris Kobach’s Interstate Crosscheck System, adopted eagerly by two dozen states or more (including four crucial swing states) and administered in a flawed and sloppy fashion (that’s mild) by electoral officials who were mainly Republican. Like Kobach himself. That alone should be investigated hard, and relentless demands made for all those Crosscheck lists to be released and examined — by an independent commission. Might not get far with a Republican majority in Congress, but it should be made public and demanded, loudly.
            And then there’s the practice, which like the others can be presented as legitimate, of tossing out ballots on the ground that they were improperly filled out or illegible. I’d love to see precise figures on the proportion of “spoiled” ballots that were consigned to the dumpster in mainly Democrat-voting areas, compared with the percentage trashed in mainly Republican areas.
            I can be wrong and often am. But check it out for yourself and see what you think. The Russians didn’t have to do much, even though I am sure they did hack into the electoral system. I picture Putin laughing, spilling his vodka, and saying jovially, “I think we can safely leave this to the Republican Party, boys.”

          • phoenix00

            That’s a lot to unpack, and a lot I agree with.

            As great as the American electoral system is, I’ve always disagreed with partisans running elections. Having equal numbers of representatives from both major political parties is not sufficient, it just smacks of foxes running henhouses. I’d like to see that changed about as much as, say, I want to see the ACA stick around.

            Whatever the case may be, there’s a ton of “this doesn’t add up”, but if I may circle back to my original point, a stat like 52% of white women voting for a self-admitted sexual assaulter is a grave, grave indicator for the ultimate arbiters of any democracy – its voters.

          • Keith Taylor

            I do not dispute you. You’re dead right.

      • theblackdog

        Because now they don’t want to admit they were duped into voting for him or they want to double-down on it because they think he’ll cut their taxes so much that they’ll be rich.

        • phoenix00

          Keep in mind this went back before Obama’s first term…. I’m sure the feeling was there, it just took a Negro president and a certified paranoid Republican/Tea Party to really bust it out of the shadows.

  • Scrofula

    Anybody seen any RWNJ response to today’s march photos? You know, the ones with peaceful women calmly asserting their rights?
    A lot of yesterday’s commentary seemed to assume tear gas and looting–even my mother seemed scared when I said I’d gone, till I showed her photos.

    • Sister Artemis

      The right-wingers (lol autocorrect wanted to change that to “right wing ears”) my GF has been tracking via her faceplace contacts, are all about the leftists rioting all over the country since the night of the 20th. Sure ain’t matching my reality!

      • Scrofula

        Figures now. Just triple-down on the dis-reality.

    • cmd resistor

      My brother posted a fox photo of a limo set on fire. any of the property destroying stuff happened on Friday and appears to have been the usual anarchists. DC Police chief even put out a statement that those people had been a minority in what were mostly peaceful demos on Friday. And there were no arrests there yesterday. Yet the RWNJ’s are promoting the whole, violent libtard agitator thing.

    • theblackdog

      Yeah, saw one who was using a picture from Ferguson to say that they shouldn’t be marching if they were going to destroy property. He got called out quickly and I have already blocked him

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    George Will got fired by Fox. Too smart, I guess. Plus they didn’t like his scathing burn in the WaPo about 45’s terrible inaugural speech.

    • CripesAmighty

      And, at the Ministry of Propaganda, the purge begins…

    • BMW

      Losing all the non-Trump supporters isn’t a good business model if they want to still have a network in a few years.

      • Mike Steele

        Oh, sure it is. Who else watches them 24/7?

    • OrG

      I would philosophically disagree with George Will on practically everything,but I’m sure that we could agree on almost all reality-based “facts”.

  • SnarkON

    Jesus. Those comments are so vile that I couldn’t make it through the whole post, which may be a first. As a result the only snark I am able to offer is: Today we are all a retarded younger sister.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      whoops – got the r word that shall not be spoken in there.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/trumps-vainglorious-affront-to-the-c-i-a
    One of Il Douche’s more fucked-up moments. There will be many more.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      “Is Donald Trump an intellectual? Trust me, I’m like a smart persona.”

      OMFG!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        To a roomful of supremely smart and educated people, no less.
        How the eye-rolling didn’t set off seismic detectors is the mystery of the week.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        RIGHT???

    • OrG

      After he alienates everyone except the most ignorant trumpanzees and whoever’s on the trump gravy train,I don’t see how he can continue as President.

    • Mike Steele

      Cannot thank you enough for this stunning link. It made my skin crawl, but also reassured me that Donald’s days in office are numbered. These folks have seen crazy, and they’re not going to let it take down our democracy after losing their own in places where it has never existed. Believe me.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      That was painful and well worth reading.

      And I have tears in my eyes over Ronald Fucking Reagan. Where the hell are we.

    • theblackdog

      This is precisely the group he should not be pissing off.

    • Alan

      Now the New Yorker will be failing hugely. Sad.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Memorial Day will be epic! If he lasts that long.

  • Come here a minute

    John Lewis is a hero just for the phrase “good trouble.”

  • Come here a minute

    Also, we need term limits for corrupt politicians, all examples of whom happen to be black.

    Uh, and Anthony Wiener!!!

    • BJW

      Probably all Democrats because IOKIYAR.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Was he actually corrupt, or just felony adjacent?

      • OrG

        Stupid

    • I always loved the term limits argument because we already do have a method for ridding ourselves of bad politicians: voting and political participation!

      • wavicles

        ‘Cept for this year.

  • Panika MCD

    IJFC with most of these people. so the main response I have tonight is:

    you can brainwash your brain? huh. did not know that. I usually brain wash my jeans. but it’s also pretty handy for cleaning leather sofas.

  • Smibo

    That one dude seems to have some sort of obsession with women throwing themselves on dicks and having precisely 17 cats. Aww. Did precious snowflake get his heart broked because a woman put up with his defective shit for 15 (almost certainly an exaggerated number, btw) years before deciding that enough was enough?

    It would be irresponsible of us not to apply copious speculation while un-twisting the pretzeline logic he thinks he pwned us with, so here’s my guess:

    I bet it was more like 15 weeks, she has a cat, and is now dating an actual nice guy who doesn’t treat her as if she were merely the spoils of some war in his fucked-up “victorious warlord” fantasy.

    If the guy had any creative integrity at all, he would have picked “CzarAndreas” for his Disqus name, because that would have more accurately conveyed both his own view of himself in relation to society in general, AND the validity of his logical arguments; “faulty”.

    • tehbaddr

      Agreed, “throwing themselves on dicks” is some indication of not know how it’s done. I mean hopping up and down. Sqwuirming away and such is the reality. He prolly never had a “woman”

      • Marion in Savannah

        Wait — don’t all his plastic blow-up women count? I’m sure he thinks they do.

        • Gregory Brown

          That’s why he hates cats. Their sharp claws threaten his inflated “lovers.”

      • phoenix00

        That’s how it works in porn.

        Don’t ask me how I know.

      • SnarkON

        Seriously, I don’t even have a dick, but … ow.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      My money is on 15 *minutes*.

      • OrG

        Full hour costs more.So I’ve heard.

    • Sekhmet1

      I’m intrigued at CzarArsehattus’s comments, especially since he seems to think a future of having cats for company is a BAD thing. How odd. I think it sounds like fun, myself.

      I wouldn’t be surprised if his wife’s cat (or cats) hated him.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I’m sure she’s much, much happier with the cats.

    • Keith Taylor

      Yeah, that victorious warlord thing reminded me too much of John Norman’s “Gor” series of alleged science fiction books, which until then I had happily forgotten. Not only were they rape-and-dominance propaganda, they were some of the lousiest writing I’d ever seen. Didn’t actually read any of them after the first one, just glanced at the latest in the series now and again. That was enough to convince me they were going steadily downhill, morally AND as writing.
      Moving out of assembly-line fiction into real history, the archetypal victorious warlord was Genghis Khan, and he was one of the biggest bastards in history. Murdered his own brother in an argument while they were out hunting, when just a lad, and continued from there. He was all for possessing and raping his enemies’ most desirable women as the trophies of his awesomeness; there’s a quote of his to that effect. Maybe it’s a sign of something wrong with our modern culture that Hollywood has made two movies about him, both of which represent him as the hero, and neither of which ever depicted a city which resisted him being depopulated, with a hill of severed heads marking the site.
      Hell with that feller and his “victorious warlord” wet dreams.

      • Gregory Brown

        I believe his phrase was to “use their women as my nightshirts.” But, serial rapist that he was, about 1 in 200 men today is his direct descendant.

      • kareemachan

        Ye gods, I had forgotten about him and his “writing”.

        Thanks, Keith. Not.

    • JH Marx, Resister

      Fawlty Logic starring John Cleese!

  • Serai 1

    Can’t believe we still have to fear this shit…

    Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” will be a new TV series

    I hope this sees the light of day. This is a story we need to remember.

    Here’s the trailer:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dre0wQmLGe8

    • Markuserektus

      “…tell me truly, I implore—
      Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      When do we get a new production of “It Can’t Happen Here?” They are lovely companions for one another.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I would love a good adaption of The Plot Against America myself

        • MizzMazz

          Great book, just re-reading it now.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Offred. How distopian!

      • Serai 1

        What’s interesting is her being played by a Scientologist, a group not unknown for its issues of hierarchy and forced labor.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      Oh, it’s happening. I can hardly wait. And also, yikes.

    • Bad Tom

      So, this is a reality series?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Make Margaret Atwood Fiction Again”
      Sign at one of the marches yesterday.

      • Zyxomma

        I saw that, too. I haven’t read the book or seen the movie; but it’s depressingly familiar anyway.

  • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

    I had some jackass try to concern troll me into having kids so someone would take care of me when I’m old. Motherfucker, the money I’m not spending on fucking kids will keep me plenty happy until I die.

    • phoenix00

      Screw anyone who “needs kids” with this justification. Why shackle them with this kind of expectation?

      Something tells me these selfish assholes are the ones rotting away in the old age homes.

      • TheBoatDude

        Reminds me of this bit I saw in an Ann Landers column 1000 years ago. Makes me think that grandpa was somewhat of a dick

        It Was Grandfather’s Birthday by Rudy Joe Mano

        It was Grandfather’s birthday. He was 79. He got up early, shaved, showered, combed his hair and put on his Sunday best so he would look nice when they came.

        He skipped his daily walk to the town cafe where he had coffee with his cronies. He wanted to be home when they came.

        He put his porch chair on the sidewalk so he could get a better view of the street when they drove up to help celebrate his birthday.

        At noon, he got tired but decided to forgo his nap so he could be there when they came. Most of the rest of the afternoon he spent near the telephone so he could answer it when they called.

        He has five married children, 13 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. One son and a daughter live within 10 miles of his place. They hadn’t visited him for a long time. But today was his birthday, and they were sure to come.

        At suppertime, he left the cake untouched so they could cut it and have dessert with him.

        After supper, he sat on the porch waiting.

        At 8:30, he went to his room to prepare for bed. Before retiring, he left a note on the door, which read, “Be sure to wake me up when they come.”

        It was Grandfather’s birthday. He was 79.

        • phoenix00

          Granted, there will always be asshole kids/adults who think even visiting their forebears is an annoying/expensive obligation, and far from it for me to tell anyone how to raise their children, but there are definitely unfair expectations and this falls into that bucket.

          And yes, I’m guilty as charged, I’ve forgotten/missed my share of family birthdays.

        • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

          I wonder when was the last time Grandfather bothered to call or visit any of those “five married children, 13 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.” IT GOES BOTH WAYS, ya selfish old coot.

          I have no issues.

          • kareemachan

            Wow, you have issues, doncha?

        • Gregory Brown

          Gramps molested several of the grandchildren, but in his narcissism he equates it with “love,” and can’t be persuaded that he did anything wrong.

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        My folks are in their 60’s and live in another state (although a neighboring one) so my sister that lives close and gave them grandkids will have the bulk of the visits while we’ll pay for stuff. Since my presence is generally considered a minus in the best of situations, this works for everyone.

        • phoenix00

          I guess my other point is that you’re taking care of and supporting your folks because it’s the right thing to do, not out of expected obligation.

          • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

            Absolutely – my parents are terrific people that gave my sister and me everything, but the thing that they gave us is a sense of right and wrong. It’s one of the things that I like about this site – everyone here has a strong sense of what’s right and wants it for people.

          • phoenix00

            Exactly right on all counts. And why I stick around!

    • SnarkON

      I have one kid, and I’ve been concern-trolled by people who say I should have a second child to keep the first one company. Motherfucker, that’s what dogs are for.

      • tehbaddr

        I think, you should have full litter! So they can take care of each other, and then you when the time comes ; ^ }

        • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

          I’m pretty sure once you have more than three, they just sort of take care of themselves, and you can safely ignore them until they start calling from jail.

          • Amy!

            Yeah, but that happens way too early these days: all the kids seem to have worked out how to knock out the bung and escape, and then they get arrested by the bungko squad..

          • Thiazin Red

            My great aunt was 8 when she took over running the family after my great grandmother died, so its doable.

          • Gregory Brown

            That’s why the prudent parent always starts a bail fund for each child.

      • Thiazin Red

        As someone with two younger siblings, they’re overrated.

      • phoenix00

        No kids myself yet, but if/when I do, I’m also one and done.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      People who say shit like that are assuming the kids will take care of you. It’s a crap shoot.

    • tehbaddr

      I spent most of my money on my kid. I don’t expect anything in return.

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        I’m constantly amazed at the cost of children. You’re right, they’re really not an investment to be reaped later. They’re more of a money pit or a pyre to burn cash on. If they grow up to love you and take care of you (like I will with my parents, who are awesome) then you got lucky.

    • TheBoatDude

      Also, kids aren’t meant to be built in healthcare. Anyone that has kids for that purpose deserves to die alone…

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        And they probably will, if that’s how they treat their kids. I stay close enough to my nieces and nephews where they may visit me, but if not, I’ll always have an XBox.

    • Thiazin Red

      Also, does he think that all the people in nursing homes don’t have kids?

      • There is a reason for elder abuse…

      • wavicles

        Well, they must not be pure, white kids. Because pure, white olds are heads of housholds.*

        *doesn’t apply if you’ve ovaries, can never be president.

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        That’s why teh whitez are disappearing, you see. It’s actually amazing. I am a non-breeding atheist in the midwest, and you’d think I was some kind of deviant.

    • Alan

      I would be a millionaire if not for kids. Seriously.

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        When I see what my in-laws and sister spend on their kids I’m amazed. We’re good at swooping in with the awesome gift and leaving.

    • Gregory Brown

      Save your money, so when you’re old you can have the things only the young can enjoy.

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        If you’re smart and can do math, you can have both, Greg.

        • Gregory Brown

          It’s a joke.

          • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

            My bad, man. My dander was up. I apologize for not getting it.

          • Gregory Brown

            It’s OK. No worries.

  • Ilgattomorte

    ““Dave Stallman” was also very angry that people on Wonkette hide behind screen names”

    Okay Dave you’re right. But, I will hide no more! My real name is Dead Cat Johnson. I only use the screen name to avoid the obvious PeePee jokes that could be associated with Johnson.

    So from here on in, you can call me “Dead”. You can call me “Cat”. Or, you can call me “Dead Cat”, but don’t ever call me Johnson.
    (I only have a fleeting memory of that old bit. I hope I was close.)

    • Serai 1

      Close. It would be ya doesn’t have to call me Johnson. :)

  • JParkerSD46

    Stupid racist John Lewis slams his head into a night stick and the libtards think he’s a “hero”. Loser! Heroes are the guys who can take what they dish out, just like Dear Leader. Tough as nails.

    • Sister Artemis

      yawn

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        I suspect Poe.

        • Sister Artemis

          does seem to borrow from All the Popular Themes, doesn’t it? almost like they used Dear Shit fer Brains as a guide…

          • Alan

            I think the reference was to Poe’s law. You missed the snark in the original comment.

          • Sister Artemis

            Yep, got the Poe’s law pointer, and if the original was snark, I definitely missed that. So hard to tell these days….

          • JParkerSD46

            Yes, the original was most definitely snark. John Lewis is a true hero, in every sense of the word, a man of integrity and honor. He is, in every way, the polar opposite of the individual I called Dear Leader (should have been a dead snark giveaway right there), a man who hasn’t the decency to escort his wife up the stairs at the White House.

          • Keith Taylor

            I think yes, it is pretty hard to tell these days. So here I am with egg on my face …. not the first time. Well, I have been told before that I’m too literal minded.

          • Sister Artemis

            In my defense, the crazies are completely off the rails these days, even for them….

    • Keith Taylor

      Joker, the above is not really worth answering, but just for the record … John Lewis was arrested and assaulted about forty times while working for civil rights at a time when it was damned dangerous to do so. Or am I mistaken and is Martin Luther King Jr. still alive? Nor is he a has-been as some are trying to make out. Among other things, he’s been a congressman representing Georgia’s F