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Real Soup Doesn't Come In Cans
Real Soup Doesn’t Come In Cans

Still gotta eat, right? Nothing fancy, nothing difficult this week — I’m pretty sure none of us is in a mood for any of that. Besides, who has time for it right now? There’s a Resistance to build! Meetings to attend, rallies to organize, plans to be made.

But an army, they say, travels on its stomach, so you still want something good. And, let’s face it, we’re all a little terrified and confused. We want something familiar, soothing, comforting. So, this week, I give you a variation on a much loved, familiar dish. Today, we make:

Super Savory Chicken Soup!

Intoxication level: One or two glasses of wine. You can compose letters to your elected officials while it simmers.

Time: 15 minutes prep, 45 minutes cooking: 1 hour, total.

Serves: You and 5 of your comrades

WHAT YOU NEED!

witty alt text goes here
Ingredientses
  • 2 teaspoons butter
  • 2 cups diced chicken ( approximately 3 breasts)
  • 1 cup sliced celery
  • 1 cup chopped carrot
  • 1⁄2 cup chopped onion
  • 1⁄2 teaspoon thyme
  • 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning
  • 1 cup dry white wine
  • 48 ounces (6 cups) Chicken Broth
  • 2 teaspoons chicken bouillon
  • 1 or 2 potatoes
  • parsley, for garnish

Cutting board, a couple of knives, measuring cups and spoons. A pot, with lid, a big spoon for stirring. Keeping it simple.

WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED!

  • Melt butter in large pot.
  • Add the diced chicken, thyme and poultry seasoning. Cook 5 – 10 minutes, until chicken is lightly browned.
  • Add the celery, carrot and onion. Continue cooking for 5 to 10 minutes.
  • Add the white wine, bring to a boil. Reduce by 1/2.
  • Add chicken broth and bouillon.
  • Bring to a boil.
  • Add potatoes and reduce heat to a high simmer. Cook, covered, for 30 minutes

Ladle into bowls. Sprinkle with parsley, if desired. DEFINITELY serve with a hunk of good bread.

Then get back to work, comrades. There is much to be done.

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  • memzilla Ω

    Cook 5 – 10 minutes, until chicken is lightly browned

    I have enough vodka and OJ in the house that I’m going to get lightly browned.

    • proudgrampa

      Now THAT’S my kinda cookin’!

  • Aaron Wise

    This and:
    A really big Bloody Mary, some Coltrane and The NYT Sunday paper.
    And comfy jammies. And a blanket.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Well, that beats my breakfast of red bull and ham

  • kindness

    Thank the fsm that chicken is kosher. Maybe that’s why it’s not know as bacon & noodle soup.

    • proudgrampa

      “bacon and noodle soup”

      *proudgrampa shivers*

  • shivaskeeper

    Now this is unfair. There is no way that I see to humorously substitute something awful in this recipe up and then claim it came out bad and vow to not make it again.

    Well played, sir. Well played.

  • Man, that bread looks good. Carbs are evil , but i love them so much.

  • Shan

    Soon as I’m done with my bath, I’m going to the store. This will be DINNER!!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I am picturing you in your bath.
      http://i.giphy.com/MvZKiDJmB1XEs.gif

      • Shan

        Close. I’m out of champagne so I had to hit the Everclear.

        • Mahousu

          Careful. That stuff hits back.

          • Shan

            Especially after ch

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Please don’t drown in your bathtub. We will need all our comrades in the years to come.

          • Shan

            I’m good, don’t worry! Besides, I have a DATE I’m looking forward to!!

          • BloviateMe

            Fresh batteries?

            That was uncalled for, my ardent apologies.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            No, that would be my date for the evening.

          • Shan

            Ha! No. An actual real live human. Next month, though…

        • OneYieldRegular

          Since Friday noon, I’ve had exactly the opposite problem. I’ve run out of Everclear so I have to hit the champagne.

      • proudgrampa

        She’s Oprah Effing Winfrey and her bathtub isn’t any fancier than mine? Suspicious, very suspicious.

  • baconzgood

    Chicken broth? What are we animals living in a cave in the Antarctic? Make your own stock or GTFO!

    • Shan

      Food snob!

      • baconzgood

        Go eat your canned clams.

        • shivaskeeper

          YOU MONSTER

        • Shan

          Make me.

          • baconzgood

            If you’re not naked in a bubble bath then deffending chicken broth is unforgivable.

            That is the only time.. .EVER!

          • Shan

            I wasn’t defending chicken broth! I hardly know the difference. Maybe you should feed me some of your stock so I can tell.

          • baconzgood

            “Stock” still means “penis” right?

          • Shan

            As long as it’s been simmered for 4-6 hours.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      You make my chicken stock or GTFO!

      • baconzgood

        It’s not hard. Boil a bunch of chicken bones, skin and fat in some salt. Freeze it for later.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          You left out how you get the bones, skin, and fat.

          • baconzgood

            You save them every time you eat chicken.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            I don’t think I’ve ever cooked chicken with bones and skin in my entire life.

          • baconzgood

            You buy like….jellyfish chicken? Never cooked chickens with bones? Now I’m afraid of what they can do genetics

          • Vienna Woods

            Oven-fried for dinner tonight. Bones going into the current zip-lock bag.

          • baconzgood

            There you go.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I’m with you, Astraea. I’ll buy good stock over having to purchase, break down and somehow use a full chicken and then make stock. I buy the pieces and parts I need when I need them. I’m just one person with a small freezer and only so much time.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Conveniences exist because they are convenient :) If people want to do the whole thing good for them, but I hate cooking and like to spend my time in ways I do enjoy.

            I feel you on cooking for one. It is a pain in the ass.

          • Treg Brown

            The $5 Costco chicken sitting in my fridge agrees with you.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            I love those Costco chickens. Sometimes I don’t even wait to get home and tear off a leg to eat it while it’s hot from the store. Cut up the breast meat and freeze some of it in case it takes me a while to eat the whole thing.

          • Treg Brown

            I’m not a cook at all, but I know the cost of a chicken and know if I attempted to roast a chicken it would probably cost twice the $4.99 (including band-aids) that Costco charges, and I think they are delicious. Win-win.

          • SterWonk

            I live alone, and this is my problem with ~all recipes: they’re always for multiple people. I could just have leftovers for subsequent meals, but that gets boring fast. Also, they frequently need ingredients that I don’t have on hand, because I don’t use them up fast enough, because – again – just me. (I also can never get things to freeze and thaw well, so I can’t just throw things in the freezer.)

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Exactly. Cooking for one isn’t easy.

          • Seek

            This reminds me of a problem my husband has. When it’s his turn to cook, he gets a fancy idea from some recipe site that sends him “easy” meals. They may be easy but most would still require him to go to a grocery store which is akin to be boiled in oil for him. So, he “substitutes” what we have on hand. Last week he substituted a can of black beans for the 1/2C of freshly shelled edamame. I am here to tell you that they are not, in any way, comparable things. This is merely his latest example but … if I didn’t dislike cooking so much I would take over in selfdefense. I’m pretty sure that’s the plan.

          • Vienna Woods

            Every time we eat chicken, which is like, twice a week, I throw the bones, etc in the freezer. Every few months I take them out, put in beeeg pot, cover with water, simmer for a few hours or overnight. Result? Richest, most delicious broth ever. Freeze it, then have lots- basically for free- for best rice, soup, cream sauce, etc, etc.

          • Tiny kaiju

            Every time I try this it fails. Not even a spectacular failure. I get chunks of fat and grey meat that tastes like paper towels.

          • Vienna Woods

            Simmering the bones left after eating broth won’t yield any usable meat. It’s all about the delicious delicious broth.

          • Tiny kaiju

            I was using a whole roast chicken and all I got was a mess. OTOH I didn’t know about the wonders of schmaltz at the time.

          • calliecallie

            I have so many little plastic containers of homemade chicken broth in my freezer that they a whole shelf all to themselves.

        • Vienna Woods

          Damn right.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I found using turkey stock in the place of chicken works well too

      • Doug Langley

        I have a poor man’s method of making turkey stock. I love ground turkey. Just fry in skillet. It always leaves a good bit of juice behind. Pour off juice and freeze. After a few weeks, there’s enough for soup or dirty rice or whatever. Yeah, it takes some waiting but is worth it.

        • Alexander Stallwitz

          We just take our turkey from thanksgiving and make stock from it and freeze it. We get a good six months worth

      • OneYieldRegular

        I use random songbirds, though you need an extra-fine strainer. Also, removing the feathers is a pain in the ass. The birds don’t appear to like it one bit.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Actually, I need to make some more. I think I have the requisite 4 chicken carcasses in the freezer.

      • Vienna Woods

        And it’s the right time of year. I have to time my broth making so I can put the pot outside to cool before straining and freezing. Oh and I always freeze some in silicone muffin tins so I have small chunks suitable for throwing in a pan with some veggies or suchlike.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Good idea on the silicone muffin tins. I have some that I rarely use. This makes sense.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I made this soup yesterday, but I didn’t use potato and I added a bay leaf. I also used olive oil rather than butter. I let it simmer in the crockpot all day then sent two servings home with my mom for my dad, who’s been ill. She added noodles and he thought there was too much celery. Oh well. He’s a picky eater. I ate a big honking bowl without rice or noodles and thought it was just fine.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          It IS lot of celery, I’ll admit that. I’m glad you liked it!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I made this soup yesterday with a leftover roasted chicken and chicken broth, but I took the chicken carcass and boiled it for my own stock for next time. It yielded 3 quarts.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    I am completely lazy when it comes to chicken soup when I’m sick. For those times, I keep at least 2 of these in the freezer at all times: http://tabatchnick.com/tbtproducts/chicken-broth-with-dumplings/ Kosher, with both noodles and big, fat matzo balls? Oh yeah. It’s like keeping a Jewish grandmother in the icebox, but less murder-y.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    You’ve got me thinking. Bouillon is a good idea, because every time I make chicken soup it’s … kind of bland. Wine helps, and sometimes I put it in the soup, too.
    http://i.giphy.com/3otPoTWMkTaXXMY9qg.gif

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I don’t really need it when I’m using homemade, because I reduce that shit down so far it turns into jelly in the fridge! But, if I’m using storebought? Yeah, it needs the flavor bump.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Thiis. If it doesn’t jelly in the icebox it isn’t stock.

        When I am stocking chicken, turkey or beef I always start with carrots, celery and onions roasted in the oven i a little oil or butter. Then I roast the meat on top of the veg until it is very brown. Into a pot, covered with water and simmered (190-200F) for a few days. I filter out the bones and what is left of the veg, de-fat and then reduce to 1/3rd in volume. I usually make a couple of gallons each time. I pour the liquid into ice cube trays to freeze.

        I always like to have this on hand so I never need to buy store bought flavored liquid for recipes. I add the wine, as needed, when I use the stock.

        • OneYieldRegular

          I don’t use the ice-cube tray trick anymore. It once led me to have the very worst martini I have ever tasted.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Oh, yeah. I should have mentioned popping them out of the tray and storing in a large ziploc.

          • Vienna Woods

            Muffin tins work, also, too. Actually, not tins but silicone, as they are easier to pop out.

          • FlownOver

            Vodka martini – chicken, not stirred.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I do it a little bit differently. Although I know it would make the stock richer, I do NOT roast the bones. I also don’t use any veggies or spices – not even salt. I don’t simmer it that long, either. I start it around 8 or 9 in the morning. About 2 hours later, the meat is falling off the bones and I strain it and pick the meat off, then throw the bones back in. I leave my carcasses pretty meaty, and also use the whole wing for stock, so I get 3 – 4 cups of meat. Plenty to make a soup or alfredo, or caccettore (sp), or whatever! I keep it simmering until about 9, then toss it in the fridge. The next night, when I get home from work, I warm it enough to strain it, after which I boil it to reduce it down by about half or so. The back in the fridge to cool. Peel off the fat, bag it in 1 quart ziplocks, and in the freezer till needed.

  • MOG253

    Copied this into a doc. had to cut the Crepey Skin ad. ugh. Will make it this week and serve it with some of those strange cookies my son keeps making. yum.

  • proudgrampa

    This hard, cold winter is truly an inspiration for some serious soup making!.

    I am going to do my potato leek soup again today.

    If you’re interested:

    Ingredients

    3 tablespoons unsalted butter
    4 leeks, white and light green parts only, roughly chopped
    3 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed
    2 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and roughly chopped into 1/2-inch pieces
    7 cups low sodium chicken or vegetable broth (best quality such as Swanson)
    2 bay leaves
    1 sprig fresh thyme, plus more for garnish if desired
    1 teaspoon salt
    1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
    1 cup heavy cream
    Chives, finely chopped (optional)
    Instructions

    Melt the butter over medium heat in a large soup pot. Add the leeks and garlic and cook, stirring regularly, until soft and wilted, about 10 minutes. Adjust the heat as necessary so as not to brown.
    Add the potatoes, stock, bay leaves, thyme, salt and pepper to pot and bring to a boil. Cover and turn the heat down to low. Simmer for 15 minutes, or until the potatoes are very soft.
    Fish out the thyme sprig and bay leaves, then purée the soup with a hand-held immersion blender until smooth. (Alternatively, use a standard blender to purée the soup in batches; see note.) Add the heavy cream and bring to a simmer. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt and pepper. If soup is too thin, simmer until thickened. If it’s too thick, add water or stock to thin it out. Garnish with fresh herbs if desired.
    Note: If using a standard blender to purée the soup: be sure not to fill the jar more than halfway; leave the hole in the lid open and cover loosely with a dishtowel to allow the heat to escape; and pour blended soup into a clean pot.

    Have some crusty bread and a pinot noir with it. If you are in a cold climate, this will make you feel much warmer (and better!).

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I love potato-leek soup.

      • proudgrampa

        It is probably one of my favorite things to make (and eat).

    • The Wanderer

      Q: “What’s the Welshman doing under the bed?”
      A: “He’s having a leek.”

    • Doug Langley

      On Star Trek Voyager they once had a crew member try his hand at Plasma Leak Soup. Yeah, I groaned too.

    • calliecallie

      I hope you made enough for all of us! That sounds truly delicious.

    • Seek

      Add a lot of grated cheese and you have the best soup ever

      • proudgrampa

        Hmmmm. Have not tried that! Thanks!

  • HorseChestnut

    > 2 teaspoons chicken bouillon

    BLASPHEMER! If you’re making plain old chicken soup, OK, but if you’re making Bubbe’s Penicillin, you better make your own stock. Use chicken feet, you can get them at the Asian grocery for like a buck a pound. It’s magic, you won’t regret it.

    • Kateaux

      Wing tips (the third part of the chicken wing that almost everyone throws away) are good for stock, too. Homemade chicken stock is the yummiest.

    • SterWonk

      I will withhold judgement until @Vicious Babushka:disqus weighs in. :-)

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Replacing chicken stock with Jameson and everything else with Coke Zero.

    I expect a tasty delight that will make me feel warm and fuzzy like any decent chicken soup.

    • Shan

      Coke Zero is the devil.

      • Mahousu

        Coke Zero is self-scoring.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        #shotsfired

        • Shan

          Heh! I should have specified: ALL diet drinks. Fake sugar fucks up your brain and makes your body want MORE sugar.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            When I drink soda, which is almost never, I just have the real thing. Which is why I almost never have it.

          • Shan

            Same here. I can’t even finish a whole one. But I’m not too fond of sweet things anyway.

          • Nockular cavity

            Mexican Coca-Cola or nothing.

          • FlownOver

            Is that what the kids call it these days?

      • Blacktop Autumn

        I don’t drink much soda anymore, but I drink the stuff because it is zero cal. ;-)

        Also *ahem* COKE ZERO LIBELZ!!!1!1!!!!11

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        That weird HBO “Young Pope” (who is absolutely loathsome and has shown no signs of Christlike qualities like empathy or even good manners) has nothing but a Cherry Coke Zero for breakfast every day and will sit there until you fetch it, because he’s an asshole. Ergo: Coke Zero breeds ego and may in fact, as Shan suggests, be the devil.

        • BloviateMe

          Well I’m sold. Coke Zero is clearly the Antichrist.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Is that the one that has a very PILF-y Jude Law? (Yes, I am trying to make PILF a thing.) #SoFetch

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            That’s the one! He’s a total jerk. Very First Testament. All about punishing/blackmailing people for their failings. Zero compassion for faults.

          • The Wanderer

            So your typical evangelist.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Yup. But with a much fancier wardrobe.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I haven’t watched, because at a fundamental level I could not care less about things religious, even if it’s a soap opera. But I did hear Jude Law has a nude scene in the first episode, and it won’t surprise you to learn that I do have an interest in certain male nudity. Still, that’s why the goddesses gave us the Google.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Not much nudity, given that you don’t see the goods. Although it’s near the beginning of the episode, as I recall, so at least you don’t have to hang around for much of the stupid to see it.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            See? This is how we Wonketteers look out for each other.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Always. [*fist bump*]

          • Scrofula

            Yer PILF bared his ass in the first five minutes of ep. 1.
            After that it’s all fabulous costume.

        • Scrofula

          Think the point is that is was difficult for the staff.
          They laid out an entire breakfast buffet for him–he had to put out there he was in charge and unpredictable.

          (I can’t tell the diff. b/n coke zero and diet coke)

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Oh I agree that he was laying down the law, but I’m not convinced the Cherry Coke Zero was a new thing for him. I could absolutely see him doing that every morning as a cardinal in the US. Shows a sort of modern austerity, tinged with a little “man of the people.” In other words, it’s marketing as much as anything. But you’re right that he definitely rejected the breakfast spread and asked for exactly what he wanted as a power move. Ditto making mama nun cook cry.

          • Scrofula

            Which was the saddest part, because I suddenly really wanted some pasta e fagioli at 1am.

        • Martini Ambassador

          I am riveted by the “young pope,” but yeah, man, he is horrifying. Reminds me of another authoritarian in the news these days.

      • Fartknocker

        After yesterday’s Happy Funtime Ladies Party I took Mrs. Fartknocker and my youngest daughter to a nice dive bar we like and I shit you not, I watched a hipster ask for Jack Daniels single barrel with Coke Zero. That was sad. But, we immediately became happy after watching Cheeto Spraytan’s press secretary rant like a 9 year old because he didn’t get a fucking pony for his birthday.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Then I just got back from the grocery store with a full case of the Devil.

    • Jennifer R

      I look forward to your own front page recipe postings.

  • azeyote

    i eat chicken bouillon soup every day in the winter, with whatever is available – vegies, noodles, or potatoes with lots of cayenne and garlic – keeps a person healthy – wine or a nice hot toddy, and the chronic is always welcome –

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I do that very thing! I keep some of that Better Than Bouillon (which also comes in organic) in the fridge. Since it’s a paste, it’s easier to get half portions than those little blocks of bouillon. But then I just chop and and toss in whatever veggies or whatever I have with spicy seasonings/garlic. My fast track to a noodle item are the bagged, frozen gyoza that Trader Joe’s has. I toss a few of those in the bowl with the bouillon and spices, water. Microwave a few minutes. Add the veggies (because I like them crunchy). It’s nice to always be able to make it fresh on the fly, although as I said below, I opt for the frozen chicken noodle/matzo ball soup from Tabatchnick when I’m sick.

  • Treg Brown

    Yum Pinkham!

  • The Wanderer

    I ate the last of my homemade ham and bean soup last night. Still every bit as good as the day I made it. In anticipation of the storms this afternoon, I marinated a flank steak with basil pesto overnight, then anointed it with olive oil before grilling it this morning. It’ll be served with a loaded baked potato and a small green salad.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • BloviateMe

    Finally watching the full Meet the Press.

    KAC is just gross. This administration is beyond absurd.

  • Wild Cat

    neo-nazi Chicken Soup:

    -Lead-tainted water
    -Schmaltz
    -Turkey Bologna
    -Used Central European Paprika Dildos
    -Rich amoral maggots

    Boil for 70 years in a hot, frothy, incoherent steam; release it for mass genocide.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    The 10 Day Trump Forecast:

    Lies followed by more scattered lies. Heavy lies by midweek. Lies about unimportant things over the weekend. Heavy lies all next week.

  • UK Canuck

    Am i the only one who’s confused by the quantity of chicken stock? I grew up in pre-metric Canada (early 70s) and I’m sure I remember 1 cup = 8 fl ozs which would mean three cups would only be 24 ozs, not 48. So how much am I really supposed to use?

    Don’t even get me started on why the Imperial (Brit/Canadian) gallon is so much bigger than the US one.

    • Shan

      I get confused also.

    • Nounverb911
      • The Wanderer

        Human kooshball?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I find that both mesmerizing and frightening in equal quantities.

      • Left Coast Tom

        That one actually has a good explanation, a “nautical mile” is the distance of one minute of latitude. Approximately 6,080 ft.

      • handyhippie65

        that is hard to look at.

        • pstockholm

          Not as hard as it was to do.

    • Scrofula

      Well, broth to cover, really.
      To be precise it’s 18 3/4 hogsheads and half a furlong.

      • The Wanderer

        How much is that in ells?

        • Scrofula

          1 qt is about a liter
          1 c is about 1/4 liter, 250ml, 8oz, about 240g, 13.75 mol H2O.

    • Doug Langley
    • Pinkham’s Law

      Whatever are you talking about, darling? It CLEARLY says 6 cups.

  • Panika MCD

    good to know that we’ll have something to replace Obamacare that is delicious. maybe Pink should write a whole cookbook of alternatives to Obamacare that are yummy…?

  • El_Pinche

    Since this is mommy-blog that’s OUT OF CONTROL. Check out my new pussy-weed hat (two of my favorite things…but not a grabber!).

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      It’s a cute hat. I wish I’d had one o’ those (but minus the weed, due to probably being seen by my mean corporate employer people) yesterday during zee marches.

  • I saw Kellyanne on my TEEVEE today, so, naturally, I jammed pencils in my eyes and ears. Do you think this poultry soup will help?

    • Tiny kaiju

      As long as someone else handles the chopping and boiling parts, maybe?

      • Yeah, it’s the chopping and boiling that’s hard to do after a few minutes of Kellyanne.

        • handyhippie65

          just picture her on the cutting board. that should make things easier.

          • yyyaz

            Hey, I like my ancient cutting board!

    • Doug Langley

      Sure. Just pour it into your ears and you wont’ hear a thing.

      • Oh, like a reverse neti pot to flush out the snot of Kellyanne?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      What happens if it reaches the point that they just stop inviting her on all these shows because they know all they’re going to get is bullshit?

  • Amelia
    • Martini Ambassador

      But he promised!

    • Doug Langley

      I’m having flashbacks to Ah-nold running for Governor:

      “What about these rumors you cheated on your wife?”
      “I’ll explain all that after the election.”
      After the election:
      “Okay, what about cheating on your wife?”
      “That’s ancient history!”

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      This is unacceptable. We must do everything we can to show we find it unacceptable.

      • Amelia

        But nobody cares about his tax returns! The petition got 200k signatures but KAC knows the *real* Americans don’t care.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I have been saying (every damned time this damned issue comes up) that we need a march on Washington of the magnitude we saw Saturday on April 15, 2017. The government has to know every goddamned thing about my finances, I don’t see why the government should get off with any less scrutiny of its finances.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I love how Assange is trying to rescue his reputation at the end of the article. Fuck you, Julian- you helped cause this!

      • Amelia

        That’s the one part that did surprise me. Not a good way to stay on Pooty Poot’s good side.

        • Valkyrie

          Except that could have been part of the deal. “Okay, I’ll release only Hillary’s dirty laundry, but then I get to pretend to make a principled stand against Trump later.”

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Donnie doesn’t want people to know that his net worth is about enough to send Chris Crisco on one last McDonald’s run. Of course that will change now that he can start looting the U.S. Treasury…

    • TJ Barke

      Subpoena that shit, goddammit!

    • Skeptical_thinker

      I believe that Trumpelthinskin will not liquidate his holdings because his net worth is negative, though his cash flow is positive (think Ponzi Scheme, but not smart enough to challenge Bernie Madoff in scale).

  • Martini Ambassador

    Uh oh. I should probably feel guilty that I made French onion soup with beef broth made from scratch (Julia Child’s recipe). That took hours of work, hours I should have been using to write to all the representatives. Soon I will float a bit of toasted baguette and greuyre on the tip and broil until bubbly.

    Nope, not feeling guilty at all.

    • Rick Hill

      Writing your representatives? I can help, just copy and paste:

      Dear Shit fer brains…

      • Left Coast Tom

        Dear Shit fer brains…

        But my Representative, and one of my Senators, participated in the protests yesterday.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Then they get the nice, “Keep up the good work and fight hard for those of us who need your help” notes. Copy. Paste.

        • Rick Hill

          But you’re guaranteed results with my one weird trick….

        • Martini Ambassador

          Yeah, I’m from Mass, so those folks are reliably on the right side of most arguments. But still, a gentle nudge in the right direction never hurts. Plus, I figure badasses like Liz Warren thrive on our encouragement.

      • handyhippie65

        it’s always nice to hear back from the nice interns after i send their boss a message. the lady knows the new fucker holcomb doesn’t read them.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So at 2PM I had to make a decision whether to watch Meet The Press, or Anchorman. One’s a comedy about a gasbag blowhard and the other is a pretty good movie with Will Ferrell. I went with MTP because I wanted to watch KAC and her “alternative facts.” Right after KAC was done Liesplaining, the network cut to “breaking news.” It was Don the Con signing in a few people, breathing laboriously, and talking about his lack of ideology (Heritage Foundation on line for you, Donnie!). So I guess Anchorman it is, since I can’t stand to listen that that old gasbag for more than about three minutes.

  • Rick Hill

    “2 cups diced chicken ( approximately 3 breasts)”

    I knew I shouldn’t have passed on that mutated chicken at Odd Lots

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Well, this is going to hurt the snark level: FOX News declines to renew contracts for Stacey Dash, George Will and Ed Rollins.

    • Nounverb911

      Stacey can always go back to not making movies again.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      After his column lambasting Donnie’s inaugural address, George Will is now an apostate. Didn’t Rollins have some uncomplimentary things to say about the Tweeter in Chief too?

    • TJ Barke

      ALL MUST SWEAR ALLEGIANCE TO DER TRUMPENFUHRER!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      What? That’s it! They’ve lost me as a viewer.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    And now for something completely different:

    https://youtu.be/ylynd8AVZlk?t=79

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • handyhippie65

    but, where’s the noodles? homemade egg noodles made with duck eggs would fit right in with that pot of awesome.

    • shivaskeeper

      Dumpling libelz!!!!

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      When I make chicken soup I usually serve it sans noodles the first day. For leftovers I’ll add matzo balls to stretch it because there’s often not enough soup left for both of us.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Hubby can’t swallow them. Weird, huh?

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Well, you don’t swallow the eggs whole! …or do you?

      • handyhippie65

        that has got to be one of the most depressing things i have heard in a while.

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

    I’ve already been to the grocers so I’ll have to defer chicken soup for another day. Bought some italian sausage for tonight. Will be serving it with sauteed rapini and polenta.

  • BloviateMe
    • Celtic_Gnome

      Methinks I spot a trend.

  • Hutch

    You could go all Pennsylvania Dutch and add saffron. Kosher saffron, of course!

  • Vicious Babushka

    We don’t put butter in chicken soup. That’s what chicken fat is for.

    • Shan

      The butter is for browning the meat. I ain’t gonna render chicken fat for that any more that I’m gonna make my own stock @baconzgood SO THERE.

  • janecita

    Thanks for the recipe, I’ll be trying it out tonight.

  • Thaumaturgist

    Up with the Pussy Party; Down with the Tea Party!

    Can I say that?

    • Shan

      I say YES!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I think you just did.

  • Michael R
    • Scrofula

      It was actually falafel, and not at all spicy.

  • Nounverb911

    Since being slapped by the trumpanzees the NPS is only tweeting trivia…

    https://twitter.com/Monocacynps1864/status/823196900564303876

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Looks. Very. Good.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Thanks!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        I’m bad at matzo balls, would golf balls be an ok substitute?

        • Unpresidented Ron

          Might not be chewy enough.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Inconvenient facts also too.

  • Scrofula

    Quick: I got boneless, skinless chicken breasts. My parents don’t want soup. It is the hardest meat to have ideas for. What do I do?

    • Shan

      Grilled chicken salad.

      • Scrofula

        No greens.

        • Shan

          Alfredo?

          • Scrofula

            That could work, actually.
            Usually we’re missing some ingredient and I have to a faux-alfredo that makes me nervous, but I think we’ve got all three today.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Piccata or breaded are always popular at my house.

    • Pinkham’s Law
      • Scrofula

        Does that breading really work with just some melted butter?
        I’m feeling averse to full-on egg-milk/flour/panko mess, though.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          It does! I think the cheese helps it stick once it melts.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Chicken curry?

      • Scrofula

        That’d be my pick, but it is kind of “soupy”.

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          I make a French-influenced Thai curry that uses bechamel as a base for the sauce. Toss in some blanched broccoli florets, serve it over rice- very good stuff.

          Into a bowl:
          Sliced chicken breasts
          2 tbs. sugar
          2 tbs. soy sauce
          2 tsp. salt
          as much garlic as you like- crushed or chopped or sliced

          Blanch the broccoli- immerse the florets in boiling water until just barely cooked, and still bright green. Remove from hot water and rinse to cool; set aside.

          Bechamel:
          Melt 2 tbs. butter in small saucepan, add some ground black pepper and whisk in 2 tbs. flour. Add 1 cup milk, heat and stir until just boiling, cook 1 more minute to thicken. Remove from heat.

          Into a wok or large skillet:
          2 tbs. each oil and curry powder- use more if you like more intense curries, maybe add some red pepper flakes. Heat on medium-high until the spices are just browned and fragrant. Add the chicken, sugar, & soy stuff, stir and fry until the chicken is cooked. Reduce the heat and mix in the bechamel. Add the broccoli and stir gently until the mixture is just bubbling. Serve over hot cooked rice, garnish w/peanuts or sliced almonds.

          • Scrofula

            Huh. I never thought of a bechamel as a coconut milk sub. That could come in handy. Usually I go with Thai curries, and the paste can sometimes be too hot for my mother.

          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            Yeah, this more of a sweet curry. I like the Spice Islands curry powder, which is pretty mild, so I usually fire it up.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            That’s pretty fancy! Big words confuse me when I’m hungry. I’ll go with beer and snickers, thank you very much ;-)

          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            Okay, for beer I’ll need seven pounds of liquid malt extract, two pounds of cracked roasted wheat, two ounces of Fuggles hops, one ounce of Hallertauer, a vial of WLP300…

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Show off!

          • Doug Langley
      • The Wanderer
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Season with salt, pepper, garlic powder (NOT salt), and ground marjoram. Bake in a preheated 350° oven for 30 minutes. Serve with your choice of side. I like rice and beans myself.

    • BeachBum

      Grilled for BBQ, or Teriyaki. Or shake and bake. Or bread and fry in oil.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        pot pie? Get the frozen pie or puff pastry crusts, make a heavy stock. Some onions and carrots and … oh … mushrooms?

        • Scrofula

          I can scratch-bake a crust, but do I really feel like that today?

    • natoslug

      Sushi.

      • Scrofula

        ‘Tis a thing, really.

        • natoslug

          Yep. And explains why every house should have not only a masturbatorium, but a vomitorium.

          • Scrofula

            Technically the bathroom works for both.
            (PS, cook the sushi chicken first)

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Slice and bread the chicken, shake and bake, use cuke, avocado and mayo, do the roll inside out and bam! You’ve got a Kentucky roll!

          • Scrofula

            Avocado’s too elite for a Kentucky roll!

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Blue grass or Bubba Kush might add an interesting and high fiber kick…

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Marinate in pesto, back at 400 for a while, top with tomato slice and mozzarella. Very easy and yummy.

      • Scrofula

        Pine nuts and basil aren’t pantry stocks, unfortunately.
        I FINALLY got basil to survive a season outdoors, but to the point it turned woody. So it was huge and glorious, but bitter. Like me.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          This time of year I use the store bought pesto and just add a little fresh basil for aroma… sub a pinch of Xanax for the pine nuts and you’re golden!

          • Scrofula

            Tolerance is too high now.
            I’m sure there’s a basil-flavored vodka out there . . .

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            It is important to hydrate properly.

          • snark-lurker

            must i dry out first?

          • Scrofula

            That’s what sleep is for.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Not for the next four years.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            If not, some fresh basil and everclear will make some in a hurry.

    • snark-lurker

      buy the stock off the shelf you can do werser

    • Unpresidented Ron

      The housemates likes me to cover them in BBQ sauce and bake at 375F for about 20 minutes. Dead simple.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Alternative Facts:

    Fact, canned clams would make this recipe way better.
    Fact, I am not a monster.

    • Scrofula

      “Great soup, Hon, but what are these little chewey bits?”

    • snark-lurker

      but how much gin before before eatin, huh? answer me that. by the bottle i bet

    • BloviateMe
      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        No, never too far.

      • snark-lurker

        Twitler couldnut tell nic’bac’s music from bayoo Shinola so him not get teh jab

      • The Wanderer

        I still think there’s some Lannister-level shenanigans going on in the Trump family.
        And no, it’s not too far. He probably likes canned clams, too.

      • Courser

        Nope, not as far as I’m concerned. I also particularly liked “Women are Coming” in a cool graphic on a sign.

    • Courser

      I’ve needed this since 11/9. We are way more Woke now than at anytime in the recent past. I finally have some hope because WE are a huge voice and Shitgibbon is left sputtering about turnout. We’re gonna overcome this bullshit. I believe it now. LOOK at what we did and it’s only the start! A kickoff for what’s to come. We are speaking in a loud, unified voice and they’re left whining.

  • Shan

    Ok, chicken stock makers (not you @baconzgood): do you roast the bones before simmering like I’ve seen recipes for beef stock call for doing? Or do you just lob it in the pot and set it off?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      My mom just tosses it in the pot.

    • Scrofula

      FWIW, I also parboil my whole chickens and then clean out everything, just to get rid of the albumin. Sometimes I’ll try to smash some bones for the marrow. But usually toss the whole bird in for an hour or two, no roasting.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I boil a couple of pre-cooked whole chicken breasts (the ones you can get in your supermarket deli) with the stock. Gets the”whole chicken flavor” but I can still use chopped up breast cutlets and simply lift the two breast out of the soup.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      The rule I’ve heard is…boiled=broth, roasted=stock, whether veggies or meat.

    • Courser

      I’ve just tossed it (ETA: I mean a whole chicken. I usually trim the big globs of fat and skin off before I dunk it) in a pot with some onion, celery and carrots and maybe garlic. They actually used to sell packages of frozen veggies for stock, I’d use that. I cook it completely down until the chicken falls off the bones. I take out all the meat and bones with a slotted spoon and let the broth cool overnight. Skim any fat and stuff off the top when cool the next day. THEN I completely heat it to a good boil because of sitting on the stove overnight. At that point I have a nice rich stock because the second boil also reduces it a bit. And trust me, there will still be some tiny bones and marrow grit at the bottom of the pot.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    another photo from yesterday from our hometown Sunday paper- that’s Raúl Grijalva speaking while I hid behind the tarp

    http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/tucson.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/8/6e/86ef951e-e030-11e6-8c07-c399200042eb/5883ed4acd417.image.jpg?resize=1200%2C787

    • yyyaz

      Baja AZ makes me proud.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        After striking the stage at the beginning of the route, my boss texted me to see if he could get the van in and park where we unloaded earlier. I just laughed…

  • Courser

    Yay! I need a good chicken soup recipe and this uses stuff I have in my kitchen all the time. Perfect.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      That was a deliberate request..either petty as one can be or as original as a plastic fork. “We’re just plain mean and have absolutely no ideas of our own”.

    • Jenny

      Honestly, I’m shocked Trump and co didn’t dress exactly like Obama and family. They seem like the type to try and pull some alternate history type shit.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • Left Coast Tom

      My avatar approves.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Next up: Bring A Bear To School Day.

      • sw19bender

        That bears all the hallmarks of a grizzly ending.

    • A_Changeling

      B-but does he shit in the woods? Brain short-circuiting. Quantum facts.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Ixnay on the enicillinpay. The anti-vaxxer Trumpinazi’s will try to ban it!

  • Nounverb911

    It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4df1f174aa8464c4e69d7ecadf4459e6f31fd38dc491abe011627b4a09c5aa96.jpg

    • snark-lurker

      reality facts vs alternat universe

    • Tiny kaiju

      The liminal President.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Don’t you usually have to die to leave the Twilight Zone?

    • TJ Barke

      Imagine a world with an egomaniacal, narcissistic, conman in the Oval Office…

  • Martini Ambassador

    Our children is going to be learning real good with such a bigly smart person leading education:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7cacb22f01ac55e777a9b67373969be2921c2667c5b3dec4f46ba96edeeacb04.jpg

    Although at least she managed to spell “honored” correctly.

    • Counterpoint: no she didn’t.

      • TJ Barke

        Can it, Canadian.

        • sw19bender

          I’m getting tyred of your chirruping, Barke!

          • TJ Barke

            Bring it on, foreign agitator!

    • Scrofula

      Tough to be too verbose in a fucking tweet.

    • Michael R

      He had to change that because we have a new precedent

      https://s27.postimg.org/9gmvd7plv/trump_honered.jpg

      • OneYieldRegular

        Maybe he meant “bonered”?

  • Nounverb911

    Wikileaks seems to have just discovered what most people with half a brain figured out a long time ago, trump lies.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0bb2a73a1bd93dd213a9c8fccb63c1ff186ee5264db3d3c2cb004511ccf05ea4.png

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that’s just Julian trying to cover his assange

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I’ll believe it when I see something that isn’t a bunch of hot gas.

  • Ωbjectifier

    “After careful consideration, and much discussion with Mr. Tillerson, we have decided to support his nomination to be Secretary of State,” McCain and Graham wrote. “Though we still have concerns about his past dealings with the Russian government and President Vladimir Putin, we believe that Mr. Tillerson can be an effective advocate for U.S. interests.”

    So that happened. Flake too.

    • Michael R

      If I wanted one person knocked out it was Tillerson , he’s Exxon oil money filthy .

    • snark-lurker

      birds of a feather

    • TJ Barke

      US interests=US based multinational oil conglomerates.

      • sw19bender

        Business As Usual.

        • TJ Barke

          Keep drainin’ that swamp, challengin’ that ‘stablishment!

          • sw19bender

            This time, it’ll be different!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Cowardly shit.

  • Jenny

    It is too dang hot for soup! I feel like grilling a steak though. Mebbe that for dinner.

  • sw19bender

    Unhappy Shite Time Rant:
    Pardon for venting on here. Just back from visiting sw19mom and bro for some belated Festivus-type restauranting. We all took turns paying for dinner this time
    First night, although sw19bro has shitty social skills at the best of times, I let it slide when he actively berated me for leaving a decent tip. (sw19mom had soldiered through a rare steak that was apparently not rare, and only regretted not sending it back after she’d finished – didn’t want to make a fuss/had sort of started it/etc – but otherwise it was a pretty good evening and a good meal otherwise). I thought he was having a go about me leaving a tip because of the non-rare steak, but I explained I couldn’t very well not leave something after everyone had finished their plate.
    Plus, they comped some free drinks after the fact.
    Next evening sw19mom paid. No issues (mom worked out tip herself).
    This afternoon, however,it was sw19bro’s turn and I have to say I was shocked when he turned round at the end and didn’t leave a tip – as a matter of principle, apparently. Blah blah antiquated system, shouldn’t be down to patrons to top up wages etc.
    Now, the meal today was again really good, excellent service, no complaints.
    In the end, begrudgingly, he left ($3) on a ($150) bill! I told him that was even worse than not leaving a tip at all, but he then stubbornly refused to remove the insult.
    So, in the end, I stuck in some money out of my wallet while he wasn’t looking, to at least bring it up to around 10%.
    No sure what else I could or should have done, under the circumstances?
    sw19bro’s lack of social skills are a matter of historical record, but I found this really shitty (not to mention his comment last night, regarding the Women’s Marches across the world – “Trump doesn’t care…. Why should he listen? It won’t make any difference….”)

    I’m just shocked – about the non-tipping, as well as the Women’s March comment – because we go out to family meals every time I go back here, and I have the awful, gnawing feeling that he’s been stiffing the waiting staff every single time he’s picked up the bill. Going back years…

    I know that sw19mom tips, as do I, but this is embarrassing and I wonder how I should handle it next time I go back home?
    Yours in a quandary :/

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Always leave the table last?

    • sw19bender

      too long: had to vent

      • Courser

        No worries! I vent here too.

    • snark-lurker

      you can pick your friends n you pick your nose but you … know the rest

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      $3 on a $150 meal? Jesus, what a douche. Tell him the truth- that you can no longer go out for a meal at a restaurant if he is paying because you cannot in good conscience be party to stifling the water. Ask him how he’d feel about working for free just because some asshole didn’t feel like paying him

      • sw19bender

        He already made it clear to me that he isn’t responsible for the ‘antiquated system’. Also sw19bro in the service industry?
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dd800aa470649f1688c89a8cc847788c76a50eb07947a6de368f1e645d0992ab.jpg

        Fucking academics.

        • Rick Hill

          Insist on going to a no tipping establishment, then. Until every restaraunt doesn’t tip then that is the way of things.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          He may not be “responsible” for the system. But whether he believes that or not, the system exists. So instead of “fighting the system” or whatever bullshit rationalization he offers, he’s just screwing over people who are trying to do a job.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            ^THIS^ debating the merits of tipped wages vs a higher paid wage is a legitimate topic. But the time and place to have that debate isn’t when the bills gets delivered. Stiffing a waiter doesn’t fix the system, it just makes you a cheapskate…

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          What would happen if you didn’t agree to participate in the family dinner out unless he agreed that you would pick up the tip? I wouldn’t bother trying to convince him that he is wrong (even though he is), but he is wrong to force you to not follow your conscience.

          • sw19bender

            The bills are supposed to be even – or there abouts. For instance, I don’t mind chipping in for their bottle of wine, but me having to bulk up the tip as well is insult to injury.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            Personally, if I couldn’t afford to pay the waiter on the side, I’d seriously consider just refusing to go out to dinner unless a non-tipping establishment was available. But that’s me. It sounds as though trying to resolve the issue with brother is a non-starter. The important thing is for you to choose a plan you can live with based on your wallet and values.

        • Tiny kaiju

          Perhaps you can get him to take you only to places that pay at least minimum wage or do not allow/ recommend tipping because they workers are paid adequately. Unfortunately the only place I know of that do that are in Iceland. But that way you’d also get a lovely side trip and maybe get to see the Northern Lights.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            New Zealand, too, also and in addition most of Yurop as well.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            If you can stomach the faux decoration scheme, Joe’s Crab Shack is a non-tipping chain.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Tell him he’s behaving like Donald.

      • The Wanderer

        I would add that I don’t want to catch anything “special” that the staff might put in his food the next time we drop by.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      I think you did as well as you could. Next time maybe you could excuse yourself to the restroom, locate your server, give them $20 and explain that your brother is a lousy tipper.

      • sw19bender

        Good idea! Thanks. As much as I’m up for vigorous debate any time and with anyone. sw19bro is a stubborn-headed fuck – a family trait tbh ;)
        He won’t change – and if we start splitting bills, that’s a whole ‘nother level of bullshit (I don’t drink, so unfair for wines etc).
        Cleaning up behind is a good plan, if all else fails for sure.

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          Heck, I’d do it proactively, before the entrees arrive.

          • sw19bender

            He hee! Now that’s a plan!

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        Good idea. It doesn’t sound like there is any point in engaging in debate, just circumvent.

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          Diplomacy for Mom’s sake, really.

          • sw19bender

            Oh, don’t worry about her – she made a sly comment about him not getting out of North America in one piece if he ever went there. ;)

    • Courser

      Way back when, my grandmother found out that her traveling companion was stealing the tips that were left for the servers. The woman excused herself and said she’d meet the at the door. Grandma saw her pass by their table and pick the tip. After that, she always made sure SHE was the last person at the table.

      But bottom line. I know you feel bad, but let it go. What’s past is past and it’s part of a server’s life. But also know that people like me tip EXTREMELY well because we know shitheels don’t tip and trying to make it up a little bit. Occasionally, I tip 100% if I’m feeling spendy. Very occasionally and at modest places. We have your back and you’re certainly not expected to make ammends for your brother. His sins are his, not yours.

      • sw19bender

        Thanks – but I still feel dreadful knowing that my brother goes out to meals with sw19mom pretty regularly (rarer for us all to be together because obviously The Big Smoke/Canada).
        I was sort of caught off-guard, so just want to have a plan in the back pocket when I’m at the table.
        Oh, and for sure I also know a couple of people who steal the tips back, especially if they feel it’s the wrong amount/their portion. People are fucking unbelievable!

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        Yes, I agree. I do the same thing.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I give a friend who doesn’t drive a ride to yoga class and go across the street to a bar for a drink and their free wi-fi while I’m waiting. Her class starts at 4:00, and happy hour at the bar starts at 4:00, so I usually get there a couple of minutes before happy hour starts. The beers are normally six bucks and three at happy hour. The bartender gets me my beer, then waits until after 4:00 to ring it up so I get the happy hour price. You better believe I leave a three dollar tip on a three dollar beer.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I hope you don’t go to places where his reputation as a skin-flint is well-known. That sort of thing can lead to being treated with the barest minimum of competency, and certainly no extra effort on the customer’s behalf.

      • sw19bender

        I’m beginning to wonder.
        He’s also a bit of a foodie.
        I’m trying to wrap my head around that dichotomy.

        • Tiny kaiju

          Any good food truck/kiosks in the neighborhood? A nice al fresco lunch in a park?

          • sw19bender

            You mean, dump him there and go have a nice meal with sw19mom on my own? ;)

          • Tiny kaiju

            That too.

          • CatCafe de la Resistance

            Also, choose places where gratuity is automatically included?

          • sw19bender

            Difficult over here, because the government allows tips given on credit cards to go against ‘minimum’ wages.
            Thanks, Tony Bliar!

    • Jonny On Maui

      I doubt seriously whether your brother will ever care about tipping unless forced into a customer related service job. Here’s a ‘tip’…

      There are families here that eat depending on the days tips. Get tipped well, eat well. No tips that day, children get less to eat and parents go hungry.

      Next time your brother doesn’t tip, let him know someone is going hungry. If that doesn’t phase him, I’d question his Humanity…

      • sw19bender

        That last bit, tbh. :/
        He’s not a complete asshole, but he certainly isn’t the warm cuddly, empathetic type. Never has been. Total academic.

        • I know lots of total academics who have empathy or at least enough understanding that social contracts are not up for debate.
          The word you are looking for is selfish.

          • sw19bender

            “Up his own arse”, then!

            I was trying to find a polite terminology for ‘not of this temporal place’, but yes, Academics Libels!!!!!

          • Space Cadet! Honestly, I would not say a thing to him about it. Just make sure to be very loud as you flag your waiter and tip them going something like “Just to be sure”
            Then smile, brightly.
            Learn the ways of the Catholic Guilt Trip, Luke

          • sw19bender

            Ah, yep, Space Cadet….. but then that describes me in all my fluffy floofleness.
            Space cadets are cool!
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5d26c6a3a411e01bc8518f96d4a22d13c3a91412f5d2697171129931761974ed.jpg

          • True story, my husband has called me a Space Cadet more than once.
            I finally told him I would be less daffy if I did not have to remember all his shit for him.

          • sw19bender

            “Ivory Tower”

            That’s the phrase I was looking for, I reckon!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sounds like the sort of douche who would bitch mightily if the minimum wage went up enough to make tips unnecessary.

    • Shoto

      “Your brother obviously over-tipped the wait staff. In fact, we recently held an event for a party of ten people at a Manhattan restaurant. The final bill came to $5,290.00, or $5,290.10, including the tip.”

      — Donald J. Drumpf, Preznit of US American, and Best Tipper in History.

    • m3bosha

      I’d approach it two fold. One tell him when you go out with him he will tip like a decent human because if he doesn’t like the system, then he needs to fight to change it, but since it is the system we’ve got. Tip. Secondly, if he still can’t figure out he should tip, embarrass him by walking up to the server, hand them a big fat tip so she/he knows it didn’t come from your brother and tell him “I am done eating with you in public until you can figure this out”.

      • sw19bender

        Cheers m3b, I think an amalgam of your and others’ similar strategy is the way to go. TBH he’s unembarrassable, but I only eat out with him as a family, maybe once or twice a year (this time was an epic foodfest every day I was back)…. I don’t really want to get into a petty tit-for-tat by refusing to pay for his drinks, etc.

        I think I’ll work on a strategy with sw19mom. She knows what he’s like anyway.

    • Shoto

      Being a waiter is very hard work, both physically and emotionally, even under the most ideal of circumstances. Dealing with demanding, bitchy and/or cheap customers goes with the territory, and I have no idea how they do it. That being said, I have tremendous respect for the work they do, and it is only on the rarest of occasions where I tip lightly.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I look at it as “75-80% of the things that happen in a restaurant are out of a server’s control. The kitchen overcooks or undercooks the meal, the manager didn’t have enough staff to handle an unusually busy night, the bartender can’t mix a drink to save their life, etc. The only things the server can control are taking your order, serving your food, and checking in on you if you need anything.”
        Like so – one night I went out with my folks. I ordered a medium-rare steak. I got something that might have been a boot in a past life. The server was very apologetic, and they got me another one. By the time I got the replacement, my parents had eaten their meals. We still tipped well because what happened was not the server’s fault.

    • Advice: Ignore it, and tip even if it is his turn to pay.

      • sw19bender

        We’re not close enough for me to shoulder the burden of his sins.

        • Not so much shouldering his sins as making sure your waiter does not have a bad night ;)
          TBH, when I go out, RARE! and someone else is paying, I always tip no matter who is tipping or how much. Lil extra will make someone’s day anyway

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      Mr. Catcafe has a cousin like this. I”ve also gotten into arguments with people like this on social media. I think it’s just a weird kind of stinginess, which they refuse to see is at someone else’s expense. Yes, of course, it’s a terrible system. So complain to the owner, don’t take it out on someone who’d depending on the money. But, the odd thing is, Cousin a wonderful, solid guy other than that, a wonderful Dad, kind and thoughtful and the kind of man who drives hours to pick up an elderly member of the family so they can join everyone for Thanksgiving. This, despite having had a deeply abusive, withholding father. I forgive him. We always split the bill, then, I quietly slip some cash into the folder to make up for his shortfall. If he were paying, I’d lag behind and do the same.

      Ps, we had a family group for dinner last night and he made the EXACT SAME COMMENT about the march!! Even Mr. Catcafe pointed out the obvious reasons, but I, again, just changed the subject. It’s not worth the cortisol. But we are oldz, so at a certain point, you just choose your battles. Most people have flaws, some flaws are worst than others, and you make a decision about whether you accept them with their flaws, or write them off. If you decide to accept them, then you make your decision about how to deal with the flaws. Each case is different.

      • Hm. Cousin is nice to his family, but lacks empathy for those outside it it would seem to me.
        Pretty classic I got mine so fuck you mentality really.
        idk, I am still on the fence about fam stuff. I have decided, however, that if they bring it up I am not going to couch my words any more :)
        Don’t start nothin, won’t be nothin

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          Cousin does actually leave a tip, I should say, just, if we’re at a super pricey resto, he struggles with the actual sum of money in the tip seeming too high to him. I.e., if we decide to take a visiting friend out to new, very pricey resto with that spectacular view, and he&wife and me&hubs are splitting, and his share of the dinner is $250 (we live in L.A. so pricey restos are ABSURDLY PRICEY), he might only leave $25, where I’d leave $50. So I just slip another $20 in to his folder.

          Part of it is generational. Even I (and I’m 10 years younger than he is) remember the days of $1.95 steak dinners and 35-cent burgers, so it is kind of shocking and sort of infuriating to have to write $50 on the tip line. It is an L.A. (probably also NYC) thing, prices in L.A. have gotten truly absurd lately, they just took a quantum leap, I guess all the hedge fund assholes are willing to pay routinely over $60/entree (and that’s just for the entree, not even including the sides–I’ve actually seen menus where a Porterhouse steak is over $100), so all the rest of us get stuck with that too if we want a nice steak dinner at a fancy upscale resto. We don’t do it that often. Main solution is to stick to less expensive restos.

    • HazooToo

      Do not invite him out to eat, and do not go with him. Bring mom, tell him he’s not welcome to join until he’s willing to do his part.

    • sw19bender

      Thanks all for the helpful comments and suggestions! Really appreciate getting some feedback and other POV on this. Will work on a plan ready for next time….

      • Keep in mind you could always go the expedient route: Just smack him upside the head with the lil folder next time and go “NO! BAD!”

        • sw19bender

          “No soup for you!”

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Assuming its an attitude issue, how about making a deal with sw19bro that if he works as a server in a restaurant for say 3 months, you will not comment on his tipping or lack of tipping. He’ll get a chance to “walk a mile” in the shoes of waitstaff and give him some new perspective.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The tipping system SUCKS, but we don’t have an alternative to it right now. So don’t fuck over your server because he or she is also stuck in a system that SUCKS.

  • Michael R
  • Amelia

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/zoetillman/trump-son-in-law-jared-kushner-can-legally-work-in-the-white?utm_term=.as9wxLQy3#.pjR8b30dj

    Not surprised by this either, just increasingly disheartened that so many people won’t say no to this asshole.

    • sw19bender

      Business As Usual.
      Got to keep the spigot open – In the grand scheme of things, so what if he’s bilking a little bit more than the rest of them?

  • JesusWasAHippie

    Nice, Jewish penicillin. I’m going to make this this week. I feel better just thinking about it, actually.

  • calliecallie

    I was truly hoping for a comfort food recipe! Thank you!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Needz noodles.

    • snark-lurker

      ab tho lootly. i guess. donut know 4 sure

    • ViveLaRésistance

      Or dumplings.

      • calliecallie

        Or rice. Or wild rice. Now I’m getting hungry.

    • Make noodles. Drain. Add to soup
      TADA!

  • Jonny On Maui

    Simple and sweet! Thank you Pinkham’s Law.

  • Shoto

    I keep waiting for the Wonkette Delivery Wagon to arrive with these delicious recipes, but that never seems to happen. Maybe because it’s raining today?

    • Sister Artemis

      I’m sure that’s it

  • Nounverb911

    Doonesbury seemed to have predicted the trumpentantrum over the smallness of the crowd…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4b64ec405b21a052fd10d3936c65e8509658ad6033824bf0b09a0994ecfcf65e.jpg

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Just like momma Trump used to make. She called it chicken soup for the soulless.

    • Nounverb911

      I’d say the only thing momma trump made was reservations.

      • sw19bender

        As opposed to all other women around him, who have reservations…

      • Tiny kaiju

        As a young Scotswoman, she probably made Cock a Leaky soup.

  • Jennifer R

    Here is a nice feel good meal, for when you need some extra help to feel good.

    Make or buy cannabutter then either cook up some beans or buy some cans of beans (I used canned black beans because I am a lazy).

    Drain the beans well then put them on over medium/low head (you want to keep it under say about 325-350 C at the high end (hehehee) and turn in a healthy dose of the butter.

    Add in cumin, onion powder (because I don’t have an onion and this is supposed to be easy), salt, and red pepper to taste.

    With a wooden spoon (so you don’t scratch the coating on your pan) stir the beans and butter until the beans split.

    After they split mash everything together in to a paste.

    Now you have refried weed beans suitable for a nice loaded burrito where you won’t taste the weed.

    • sw19bender

      I was going to ask what cannabutter is, but I worked it out at the end!

      • Doug Langley

        Well, obviously it’s two and a half cups of butter.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Very nice!

    • HazooToo

      How much do you need to make a nice amount of cannabutter, and how long does it stay edible? It’d be nice to have it in the fridge and not have to smoke it.

      • I would say a pinch per table spoon. Just make sure you sieve out the flakes, unless you do not mind them in your stuffies.
        I myself do not like eatin brownies and getting a bit of stem

        • Jennifer R

          Branches and stones suck so much.

          • Yes. YES THEY DO. Sieving FTW ^.^

          • Jennifer R

            When VA legalizes I have to mail you a 4 stage grinder.

      • Jennifer R

        The most successful time I made edibles I used about 2/3rd of an ounce of cheap weed from the dispensary meant for cooking down. Unless you absolutely can’t inhale smoke or vapor I would have a hard time convincing myself the effort of making using less than 1/8th of an ounce (3.5ish grams).

        the 2/3rds of an ounce let me and another person have weed in every meal for over two weeks (I was actually getting tired of it, the other person was still alight with novelty), and butter will last in your fridge for 2-4 weeks depending on how you store it. If you have experience making fancy flavored butters from store bought base then it will last like those.

        If someone doesn’t know, Get a big pot of water boiling, dial it back to a very light boil and put in butter (I learned a pound of butter per ounce of weed, but you can tweak how you want). Once the butter is in and melted and the light boil has returned and stabilized, pour in your finely ground weed. A hand grinder is fine, but you can powder it in a mortar and pestle if you want as well. I avoid electric grinders because heat = lost cannabinoids.

        Stir well for the next hour, keeping the low light boil. The bits of herb should be popping up and flowing back down and your kitchen will smell like a dispensary while you do this. After an hour carefully pour water and butter through several fine cheesecloth or pantyhose strainers in to a large pyrex style bowl and cover that and put it in the fridge. in 4 or so hours the butter will set and you can decant the nasty water out. You can get a second pass from your ground weed too probably.

        • When I did it back in the day not saying I DID but it might have happened because /not legal in VA yet, I just simmered the leaf right in the butter, sort of like the start of a potty bechamel sauce, without flour. Then just sieved and chilled after XD
          IF VA ever gets off its duff, imma try your way

          • Jennifer R

            I use the cookie sheet method for making infused oil. Pour oil on a cookie sheet, put it across your burners and get them going low. Once your thermometer says the temp is about right (same as above) pour your ground or powdered weed in. If the temp is right the larger bits will zip around a bit. Stir and monitor and strain as before and you have oil for salad dressing or pasta sauces.

        • HazooToo

          Thank you! I’ll probably try this the next time my Dad is on a beach weekend. He doesn’t object to the weed (used to grow it), but he is in AA, so I try not to have things like booze or weed where he has to acknowledge their presence.

        • Jonny On Maui

          That’s a very nice process for some strong butter.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah, if you get from a dispensary that lab tests you can figure out your cannabinoids to tablespoon ratio and cut regular butter in with your fancy stuff to tweak the ratio more for say a meal, instead of something like a brownie that you can just take a bit of and save the rest for later.

            On that line white cheddar mac and cheese with cannabutter is awesomeballs.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I miss lab tested cannabis so much I’m thinking of starting a testing lab.

          • Jennifer R

            If there isn’t a lab around you then you really should, assuming that legality doesn’t become a bigger issue. Lab testing was missing in CO for a long time and lots of firms were selling bunk edibles and concentrates.

  • Nounverb911
  • ooooo nummy pinks. Can’t even mention substituting like, turkey livers for the celery or anything

  • Michael R
    • puredog

      Sign yesterday: “I’ve seen smarter cabinets at IKEA.”

    • So. Fucking. Pale.
      Edit: And look at KaCa with a smirky snarl on her face as if to say yeah, sure

      • Villago Delenda Est

        And douchy

  • ViveLaRésistance

    WTF. I just signed on to Twitter and it appears I am following both PEETUS and VEEPEETUS. Me not ask to follow either. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? I will admit to not being Twit-savvy but I’m literate enough to know if I clicked a linky to follow…Can someone force their twitterings down your throat? ME SCARED.

    • mackafritz

      I had been following Pres. Obama and it switched on me. I just unfollowed.

      • gaybymml96

        Add a block to it as well. Works wonders…

    • Did you follow them before the transition but drop it afterward? Some Twitter users are reporting that, perhaps, they were automatically re-followed to the official presidential Twitter accounts once they were transferred.

      • ViveLaRésistance

        I was following Barack and Joe. That must be it. Okay, I feel better, I will unfollow and go find Barack and Joe.

        • sw19bender

          @potus44 and I assume? @vp44 and flotus44 …?

    • BloviateMe
      • ViveLaRésistance

        Yes, as soon as I blocked the White House, they all went away. Thanks – I’m still recovering from the march and went into a full-on panic attack. Mr. Vive is preparing martini antidote now. BRB.

    • Apparently, those who followed bamz were shuffled over, and others were just mysteriously added.

  • Tiny kaiju

    More on Cakegate:The Cake is a lie. Well, one of them is. The other one is just tacky. But read it for the Trump spawn’s take on it.
    http://www.someecards.com/life/food-drink/trump-inauguration-cake/

    http://theslot.jezebel.com/even-the-presidents-cake-is-a-lie-1791470555

    • Doug Langley

      A fake cake which can’t even be eaten. Why am I not surprised?

      • That actually explains why they were cutting it the way they were. I was looking at the photo wondering why the cake wasn’t collapsing. (Pro tip: you don’t slice the bottom layer first.)

    • The Wanderer

      Dear Sweet Cthulhu in a Tutu.

      • Tiny kaiju

        Now that’s a cake I’d want!

        • The Wanderer

          So tasty you’ll go insane!

  • Looks delicious! Except…

    I firmly believe cooked celery is a Russian plot to undermine our delicious freedom-loving food. Some of us spend all the time when we should be organizing big protests and writing to our congress critters picking the chunks of soggy celery out of our soup.

    • mackafritz

      rAmen!

  • calliecallie

    Dinner with mom tonight, so my version of chicken soup will be made tomorrow. Trying my hand at Coq Au Vin that I saw on a cooking show last Saturday, marinating chicken thighs and veggies in red wine overnight. Thighs will be removed from marinade and cooked in bacon fat, then all the veggies and wine tossed back in to back in the oven for a while. Hopefully, this will turn out, because the recipe made so much it will be our Meal O’ the Week.

    Next Sunday’s Meal O’ the Week looks like it might be corned beef which was what they had on the show yesterday. I’m always a week behind.

    • proudgrampa

      Coq Au Vin is one of my favorites. Let us know how your recipe turns out!

      • calliecallie

        To be honest, it was fine, but not great. Way too much work for the end result.

        • proudgrampa

          Yeah, Coq Au Vin IS a lot of work.

          As much as I love Julia Child’s Beef Bourguignon recipe, I really don’t have eight hours to prepare it!

  • memzilla Ω

    SO O/T BUT FINALLY: Editrix CNN Video!

    • yyaaayyyy!!!!!

    • Treg Brown

      Thank you for this. After watching, all I can say is Rebecca is literally my new hero. God Damn, I love her.

    • HazooToo

      I’m having one of those moments where I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, which vid and how do I get the damn thing to play?

      • It played automatically for me when I clicked on the linky thing.

        • HazooToo

          Finally got it to work, it was my dumbass computer being dumb. Her voice is different from how I imagined!

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      Way to go Rebecca!

    • Nounverb911

      I loved how everyone on the panel sort of tensed up when Rebecca said she had something to say to Jan Brewer. Brewer looked totally surprised when Rebecca complimented her on expanding medicare…

    • Thanks for posting so I could see the whole thing! Wow, Rebecca did a fantastic job, and I’m going to enjoy reading the word, “cunty” in that lovely, mellifluous voice.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Love the one I saw yesterday in Sacramento, CA that said:
      “I Don’t Need Sience!”

  • ViveLaRésistance

    How cute is this?

    The babies were pressing the important issues #WomensMarch pic.twitter.com/UiDNgWYZjw— Elsa Waithe(@elsajustelsa) January 22, 2017

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Cheeseheads are getting crushed. 31-0 in the 3rd.

    • TJ Barke

      NOOOOOO!

      • BloviateMe

        Giggle.

      • proudgrampa

        A fan, are you?

        • TJ Barke

          Not really.

    • In one set, was sorta hopin Greenbay would win just because I know some of their fans. And also commie town owned team.
      On the other hand, John Lewis’ team beating the snot outta Scott Walker’s does not make me very sad.

    • Tiny kaiju

      I guess I won’t get to use this one this year then.
      https://youtu.be/0iqLhdInGrk

  • beingreleased

    Here is a serious fucking soup. I made it today adding in the optional potatoes and corn.
    GEORGIAN CHICKEN SOUP (CHIKHIRTMA)
    http://recipes.177milkstreet.com/recipes/georgian-chicken-soup

  • cheetojeebus

    Variation done, no potatoes, added radicchio, broccoli rabe and fresh pear chunks. Tasteee

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Shoto

      Look! It’s Kellyanne Goebbels-Conway’s grandpa!

  • IOnlyLikeCats
    • TJ Barke

      But liberals are the real authoritarians.

      • Tiny kaiju

        Evidently we are anti-safety as well as anti-police.

        • Tiny kaiju

          You don’t suppose the police would be allowed to do this if the KKK blocked traffic during one of their “parades”?

          • TJ Barke

            Allowed? Maybe. Would they? No.

    • sw19bender
    • Tiny kaiju

      For blocking traffic? Holy fuck balls Batman, this guy is a major asshole.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, for fuck’s sake. That is all.

      • Shoto

        Seconded.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Black Tumblr (TM) is saying to watch out for this like a canary bill: if the bill is goes through and is deemed legal, this country is past the point of saving. I’m going to try and leave before that happens because I’m pretty sure we’re past the point of needing a canary.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
    • beingreleased

      I’m confused. What if they are white tea-partiers?

      • sw19bender

        Then they are protesting peaceably, silly rabbit.

    • SayItWithWookies

      This is how the Shah of Iran won hearts and minds — glad to see this moron wants Indiana to respect its citizens’ rights to freedom of assembly.

    • PRO LIFE!

    • shaar dula

      somebody is gonna die before some sense is knocked into their heads. but then again, given how the gun debates go, there is no hope of that either.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    At what point do you rinse out the bowl and add the rum?…

    • Shoto

      Um…Yes?

  • Nounverb911

    PSA from George Takei
    (Someone’s gonna get a lot of texts)

    https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/823283518000263171

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      https://twitter.com/womensmarch/status/823275188724891648 Personally, I do think they should set up a way to do a full headcount but this apparently isn’t it.

      • Nounverb911

        Thanks for the correction, I didn’t look in George’s feed to see if there was an update.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Crap–I already texted. I hope I don’t get hit by texts from a troll!

        • msanthropesmr

          Well, do you need a RangerRover Land Rover?

      • Vincent Ricola

        This has been my fear with these headcount efforts. I absolutely want to be counted, I absolutely don’t want to give my information to the future Trump dissenter round-up squad. I can’t believe these are my thoughts in 2017 :(.

      • Shan

        The deplorables will just say that there’s no way to verify whether anyone who texted actually DID attend so the numbers are FAKE.

      • Tallmutha

        It’s too slapdash, word of this not going to get around to all the people who were there, so it will result in an undercount.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Nezrite

      This was actually my immediate initial reaction!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    fwiw, this is pretty much my basic chicken soup recipe, but there’s a version with sage and lemon juice and cumin added that’s over the top.

  • Begin Anew Day

    This recipe seems to conform to the old school “food pyramid” charts that I remember from my youth.

    Speaking of pyramids has donnie had his started yet? Those big ones in Egypt that those dead pharoahs built back in olden times must just steam donnie’s hide every time he sees a picture of them.

    S’matter donnie? Can’t you master the basics of building with blocks?

    All those dead guys got tombs fit for god-kings! What piddly mausoleum waits for your shriveled orange husk?

    Some weak, puny cinder block bunker with some chintzy rococo concrete adornment?

    Weak! Sad! Bush League!

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      It will have a casino. Which will go broke.

      • Begin Anew Day

        A pyramid of IOU’s? Seems right for donnie.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Maybe Betsy will build it. She’s terrific at triangular structures that aren’t pyramids.

          • Begin Anew Day

            She does seem to have some experience with that.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        With blackjack? And hookers?

        • Tiny kaiju

          Free shitty martinis on ice for the high rollers.

          • Begin Anew Day

            The shittiest possible food and drink.

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          Watered-down drinks, a bad buffet, not a single black employee in sight…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They will be used to store grain. Ben Carson will supervise.

      • Begin Anew Day

        No room for donnie?

        Good! Leave him in the trash heap.

    • Tiny kaiju

      I’m sure he’ll copy someone else’s. The Taj Mahal? Napolean’s? The Sistine Chapel?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, god, no. He’s already profaned another culture’s death rituals sufficiently by having a sultaness’ grave casino.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • BloviateMe
    • Villago Delenda Est

      And her husband is…Morgan Fairchild! Yeah, that’s the ticket!

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/01/john-brennan-donald-trump?mbid=social_twitter I know I am in fact the demographic for the women’s/teen magazines and they are writing excellent political articles to (successfully) lure me over there; that does not make this less strange.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, Jack Benny should come back and sue.

      Trump also used his 15 minutes to discuss how young he feels (“I feel like I’m 30, 35, 39,”)

      • efoveks

        He’s confused. Those are the numbers he uses to play Lotto.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I think now that he’s selling the United States for parts he’s past that. Only, Trump, so maybe.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      There is nobody that feels stronger about the Intelligence Community and the C.I.A. than Donald Trump. I am so behind you. You’re going to get so much backing. Maybe you’ll say, ’don’t give us so much backing. Mr. President, please, we don’t need that much backing,’ But you’re going to have that, and I think everybody in this room knows it.

      Does he honestly think that those who work in intelligence are going to believe that crap?

      http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Its-Not-Going-to-Happen-Mean-Girls.gif

    • Shoto

      Drumpf is plainly mentally ill, no joke. He needs to be impeached before he can do too much damage. Every time I contact my rep or senators, I throw that fact into the mix. Congress needs to hear this. Repeatedly.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I feel like this is a libel to those of us who are mentally ill and can behave like human beings.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Hey, c’mon, Trump can act like a Human Being. Well, similar. In some respects…

    • Treg Brown

      ““I had an uncle who was a great professor at M.I.T. for 35 years, who did a fantastic job in so many ways,” Trump said, standing in front of a wall memorializing anonymous C.I.A. officers who had died serving the country. “He was an academic genius, and then they say, there’s Donald Trump, an intellectual, trust me, I’m like a smart person”.

      Most galling thing I’ve ever heard anyone say, let alone the President of the United States.

  • BMW

    I’m sure this will be it’s own article later, but here’s our glorious leader on CNN yesterday:
    http://www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2017/01/22/saturday-edition-the-lead-panel-womens-march-trump-cia-inauguration-jake-tapper.cnn

    • Treg Brown

      I’m proud to be her sheeple.

    • Go Trix! Go Trix! Go, go, go Trix!

    • weejee

      Thanks for that posting BMW, we aether-only teeveers don’t get much CNN.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      thanks so much for posting! I know a lot of us missed this and desperately wanted tos ee it.

      Also too – Rebecca needs a radio show or wonkette podcast!
      What a great voice and a natural for broadcast speaking.
      I’d say I speak like a nasally lispy ferret – but that would offend Jennifer R’s lovely ferrets.

    • A_Changeling

      Well done and looking good! I couldn’t stop imagining what was in her thought bubble, though.
      Where could they find three somewhat articulate Trump apologists at this point?

  • Jennifer R

    There are three kinds of lies.

    Lies.
    Damned lies.
    Alternative facts.

    • sw19bender

      Statistical Anomalies are the new Fake News!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    and as ever thank you Pinkham for letting me geek out on food.

  • Hellhathnofury Demme

    Speaking of getting to work…
    Let’s start with the House.
    Find your nearest swing district. (There are more than you think!)
    https://swingleft.org/

    • Courser

      I signed up to help defeat Cowardly Cough-Man here in CO. Bennet is my Congresscritter, but Coughman’s district is fairly close.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Yay!
        I thought the House was a lost cause, but this gives me hope!
        The obstructionist asshole Rs deserve to lose!

        • Courser

          Oh, I’m going to take my ass east of town and make sure he doesn’t get re-elected. We need to find a good Dem candidate and I don’t know of any yet.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        I never expected to find an R Congresscritter so close to me, but CA-10 is not too far away, and Denham won by only 8,201 votes (3.4%).
        Sounds like an ass that needs to be kicked!

    • shoeflyin

      Crazy my 2 nearest “swing districts ” are in neighboring states – and I’m in the middle of a big state. Yes we are polarized.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        IK, R?
        I like the way this provides focus on the districts that stand a chance of being “swing seats.”

  • weejee

    We all feel pretty sick right now

    With how the Packer-Falcons game is going, or is there something else requiring paregoric?

    • efoveks

      I’m happy for Cyn mac though. She’s at the game, watching from the stands (lucky girl), and rooting for Atlanta. So there is some good in it. :)

    • sw19bender

      The rest of the season is Alien vs Predator for me now.

      • TJ Barke

        The alright video games or the terrible films?

    • Nounverb911

      Here watch this instead:

      https://youtu.be/-_DLL7LMkto

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I think I need kittehs after that last TD. Gah! Da actual fuck, McCarthy?!?!

    • Unpresidented Ron

      We missed the first hour of the game. And the housemate turned it off after that 72-yard TD run. Some things are too awful to watch. As we all know.

    • Courser

      Yeah, I tuned in for a friend and now I’m sorry I did. Youch. I get enough of that as a Bronco’s fan.

  • Jennifer R

    This might be the cutest thing ever. A baby Fennec playing with ferrets.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BIByCrx1e0

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      The only FOX and Friends I will accept.

    • ahughes798

      I love Fennecs. I hate to see them kept as pets.

  • Apple Scruff
  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    lol trying to pass off the women’s march as inauguration crowds. Those pink hats turned out to be genius.

    https://twitter.com/sweetatertot2/status/823246020314353665

    • TJ Barke

      OH MY GOD…. STOOPID TOO STRONG…. MUST SMASH THINGS….

    • Perspective. How does it work?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’ve long since given up to trying to engage TrumpPenceZees. If some of them come around on their own, great, but life is too short to argue with idiots and assholes.

      And yes, deleted commenters, I am calling Donald’s people idiots and assholes. Come at me!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Stupid Nazi bint is a stupid Nazi bint.

      Film at 11.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It’s like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a pug…

    • Tallmutha

      Ah, Deplorable Melissa! Read this for a very interesting trolling of her plus mind-game on the subject of “fake news.” But you have to get all the way to #26:

      https://mobile.twitter.com/MikeH_PR/status/823144410976227328

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I can’t believe it’s not American!

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        omg and the dude morally offended by the idea of doxing russian intelligence services.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Whenever I’m down, I have a big bowl of alternative facts.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    ICYMI, LOL from the NYT:

    Inaugural Speech Dims G.O.P. Hopes for a More Conservative Trump Agenda

    So what they are telling us is that soon no one but the diehard TrumpPenceZees will like Donald. Works for me!

  • Apple Scruff

    SO! Kellyanne wore that fugly Gucci coat to the inauguration and Gucci didn’t promote her wearing it at all (as designers do with celebrities). I was delighted to see this on their Instagram page instead (3 times):

    https://www.instagram.com/gucci/

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cb85ecfb3f3f41f5b456beb0a11b62cbd83a65b2020e6b72e7188ee08d809432.png

  • bookish

    Lies upon lies.

    http://nbcnews.to/2jm6rMw

    Both of Conway’s statements are false — multiple polls showed a majority of Americans believe Trump should release his tax returns, including an ABC News/Washington Post survey out last week that found three-fourths of Americans believe he should release them.

    And a ProPublica investigation out Friday revealed that despite Trump’s pledge to transfer control of his businesses to his children as part of an ethics agreement as president, he hasn’t filed any of the necessary documents to do so in Florida, Delaware and New York.

    • I’m glad that NBC is actually calling them out on things that are lies, would be nice if they used the word “lie” rather than simply “false” though.

  • Treg Brown
    • aktlib101

      I am sorry, he is not very bright, ok? Based on his writing and speech skills, as well as behavior, his IQ is probably at or below 100. Which is less than average. So was Chimpy’s.

      • shaar dula

        and then they say there’s Donald trump, an intellectual. trust me I’m like a smart person.

        • Mildred Broxon

          Like. But not very like, at all.

    • Jennifer R

      The first page of the first draft of my interactive fiction just scored 9th grade level. Whoever wrote that should just be fucking ashamed.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I just did the memoire I wrote. Average grade level about 8th (ranged from 7 to 12), which is about right if you’re aiming for general readership (It will eventually show up here in a sidebar ad, and then on to Oprah)

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah, I figure about 8-9 is what my thing should be. It may be knocking me for writing in second person.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      The Washington Post talked about that during the election. https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/05/03/donald-trump-speaks-like-a-sixth-grader-all-politicians-should/ Seems like it ended up being a plus, not a minus. I fear for our future as a nation.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      It’s actually higher than it should be, because he’s quoting someone else using a bigger word than he usually does. The grade level on his discussion of his inauguration as President of the United States, where he referred to it as “the thing, the thing we did yesterday” would probably be more accurate.

    • Nounverb911

      How much did it cost fred trump to get trump into Penn?

      • Treg Brown

        Less than it cost Donald to get Eric into Georgetown and Jr into Penn?

        But then Fred probably had considerably more wealth than Donald.

    • MΩebym

      Seems about right.

      I had a little fun with this, and pasted a paragraph from something I wrote. I scored 17.5.

    • Jennifer R

      For real, I can write a better page than those speech writers.

  • aktlib101
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      They are not evil twins, exactly, but they are both byproducts of the same neoliberal policy scams that were peddled to Russia’s struggling new democracy.

      Both leaders, in other words, are creatures of the very evil that Trump pretends to campaign against. They are not disruptions of the post-Cold War, ”End of History” status quo but rather its full flowering, initially ignited by the neoliberal “shock therapy” approach to privatizing the Soviet state economy.

      Zing!

      • aktlib101

        Well, in both societies there is extreme inequality; and they aim of making it even more pronounced. It is really un-checked capitalism, no different than communism or feudalism. In each, you have uber-wealthy people, lots of power in their hands, and the poor, bottom feeding masses, that labor for scraps. History repeats itself. We know already what works (it worked in this country before, and elsewhere around the industrialized world), and that is stratified, taxed wealth redistribution (so yes, hard work, ideas, etc should be rewarded) with prevention of obscene money and power accumulation in the hands of ANY individual. Very simple, on paper.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Neoliberal economics is fuckhead economics. Pass it on.

  • MΩebym
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Nice!

    • Nounverb911

      St. Thomas Episcopal is a really cool church, it’s also two blocks from trump tower.

    • From the same feed. We keep getting such wonderful photos from these marches!

      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C2vKiobUUAEo4A3.jpg

    • Pinkham’s Law

      From the twitterfeed:
      it had a while soundtrack that started just before 1 as the head of the march approached.

      1 reply

      0 retweets

      0 likes

      igelman
      ‏@igelman

      24h24 hours ago

      @AriBerman @jbouie Started with “This Land is Your Land”, if I recollect order correctly.

  • Bitter Scribe
    • Nounverb911

      Does Mark Cuban own them too?

      • sw19bender

        Nope – but NHL teams have got some pretty good (snarky) twitter recently

    • Apple Scruff

      It’s shit like this that will help give me life for the next 4 years. I love that EVERYONE is joining in on the idiocy.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith
    • TJ Barke

      The ultimate proof that Trump is an illegitimate president. Failed the eagle test.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/45f95e7c387b972ea80b3936471f8c24adaf3ee91b36b9c415fd46fa55070835.gif

      • sw19bender

        I still don’t know why that photo-op on its own didn’t sink Trump.

        The guy’s made of teflon.

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          Russia helped supply the teflon. Greed helped the media cravenly go along. I will literally never forgive Les Moonves for his laughing remark “Hey, Trump may be bad for the country, but he’s great for ratings!”

        • Shoto

          I thought Drumpf was made of bullshit. I stand corrected.

      • HazooToo

        I read a Tumblr thread that I can no longer find (dammit) that explained why that actually happened! Apparently, before this bit, the handler was trying to show him how to hold Uncle Sam (the eagle’s ACTUAL DAMN NAME) properly on his arm. Trump was askeerd, so he wound up not supporting Sam properly, and Sam had to fly or fall. The gif above is Sam remembering how Trump endangered him, and trying to protect himself from being hurt by someone he doesn’t trust.

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          It’s such a perfect metaphor, isn’t it? For everything.

          • HazooToo

            We can only hope that the rest of America catches on and starts protecting itself, too.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Drumpf couldn’t be bothered to listen to an expert on handling eagles, because, of course, he’s always the SMRTST person in any room he’s in.

        • TJ Barke

          How very appropriate.

      • OneYieldRegular

        I will never get tired of this.

      • Shoto

        Epic.

    • Nounverb911
    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      Stealing

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        I’m sorry. Did I steal from you? If so, mea culpa. I saw it on Twitter and stole it from there.

        • VagendaofNastyWoman

          Yes. Stealing from you. I’m not that clever with photoshop. Today is good day for drinkees.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Turning up one for you!

    • ViveLaRésistance

      “This Pussy doesn’t just grab back. This Pussy snaps it clean off.”

  • Nounverb911

    Oh look, Melania’s first plagiarized tweet.
    https://twitter.com/FLOTUS/status/822942050899398657

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’m giving her a pass because she spelled “honored” correctly.

      • Daisy

        Better than her husband can manage.

      • sw19bender

        I’m also giving her a pass because that online bullying thing was clearly her subtweeting/speechifying her future ex-husband.

    • aktlib101

      Barf !

    • Bill D. Burger

      Sorry Toots! You’re not a ‘lady’ and you aren’t his ‘first’!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Blatantly stolen and tweeted to her!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’m taking a pledge to not make fun of either Melania or Barron, who I think are both all but being held hostage at this point. I truly feel sorry for both.

      • sw19bender

        Barron seems a little cunty, but teenager so meh also pass for now.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          You know he didn’t have a vote in dad being either an asshole or president. I hope he gets to stay in NYC. The further from dad, the better.

          • sw19bender

            Agreed. I honestly hope Melania has a more profound influence on him than the rest of the pack.
            I am an optimist at heart.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            My guess is that her taking what little stand she could, and saying that she and Barron want to remain in NYC, is her way of protecting the kid. Good for her. And hopefully, as you say, she’ll have the dominant influence.

          • Tallmutha

            She married him for his money! She encouraged him to be him! What reason do we have to think she has the stuff to be a positive influence?

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            She’s protecting him from dad. And we have no idea what she was escaping when she married Trump. My belief is that she’s a far better influence than Trump, if only because she knows better than to let daddy raise him.

          • snark-lurker

            you cannut be wrong there

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Poor kid is not allowed to be a kid. Not his fault his father is who he is.

          • sw19bender

            My post is clearly not wroted good. I mean, he’s being a normal cunty teenager, so he has a pass for a few years (or until decision-making of his own volition comes into play).

          • Villago Delenda Est

            But that’s the problem. He’s not allowed to grow up the way everyone else is, he’s shoved into suits and photo ops with his vile sire. He’ll never get to be a normal teenager…he won’t be permitted to even try to be normal. Donald did the same thing to the other male spawn, and look how THEY turned out.

          • sw19bender

            Good point well made.

          • snark-lurker

            he has been too deeply in folds of greed n ego too long to emerge any different

      • Tallmutha

        When I consider Melania, I imagine tunes played on a violin so tiny that not even her husband could play it. Am I a bad person?

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Oh I think she followed the money, in the beginning. That and the quick ability to become nationalized. Things change. She seems just so very, very sad. She wants to keep her kid in NYC and live away from her husband. Away from all the perks that come with being FLOTUS. How terrible must that marriage be for her to actively want that? I’m giving sympathy.

          • sw19bender

            Agreed. Absolutely no history of her being a spoilt bitch, or beating her kid with coat hangers.
            I liked the idea of the Tiffany box she gave the Obamas having a plea for help tucked inside it….

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I was one of the people who posted that idea. Completely agreed. You can have access to all the money in the world and still be unhappy. And be a good person married to an asshole. I see her as basically having been used for her beauty. Sure, there were perks. But in the end, it’s just sad.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            That marriage is a mystery. I think there must have been some regard between them, despite the wealth and trophy wife aspects, but she must have adjusted to his narcissistic treatment of her. I felt bad for her when he just left her behind when they went to the WH, and the Obamas were gracious.

          • Tallmutha

            She could divorce him tomorrow, get custody of the kid with all the on-the-record evidence of his adultery, get stiffed on the pre-nup but still become trophy wife to some other zillionaire who doesnt have an upper age limit of 30 (they exist, look at Murdoch). She’d be alright. I’m being harsh, but jeez.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I understand staying, if he’s willing to give her distance. Let’s face it. He married her because she’s pretty and likely controllable. I’m not going to fault someone for bleeding him dry to the very last penny. Or for not being strong enough to fight The Trump Machine. Pity. I’m giving her pity.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          I take a “they go low, we go high” stance on Melania. Except for the occasional “Melanoma” reference. But yeah, she’s been looking like a hostage all weekend. I hope she gets her way and gets to stay in NYC. #freemelania

      • HazooToo

        Do you think they’re being abused? I was about to say I don’t feel bad for them, but then I thought about Ivana and the time Trump violently assaulted and raped her…

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          I’m thinking it’s closer to a blackmail situation. We all know her papers might not exactly be in order. I see a Mexican standoff, really. He can’t afford a divorce and all the optics. She’s not exactly legal. They agree to disagree while he’s president, while he honors her request that she and Barron not live in DC. A marriage of convenience for everyone. Ivanka would rather be FLOTUS anyway. How sad must it be to either be Melania or Barron right now?

          • HazooToo

            Dunno. I think I’m gonna just focus on the idiot, anyway. Melania’s only “crime” so far was plagiarism, so far, and trying to be supportive of her beastly husband. Also bad taste and tonedeaf photoshoots, the ones showing off how incredibly rich they are being SO much more disturbing than the ones in lingerie. That stuff is a shame, but it doesn’t make me hhhhate her. And Barron is just a kid! Maybe it’s only a slim hope he’ll turn out differently, but there’s still hope.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I sure don’t blame her for the plagiarism. That speech was shoved in front of her by others who told her (for optics) to say she wrote it herself. Like Trump said (falsely) that he wrote his inauguration speech. I also believe she has zero power in that relationship. She’s not alone at those photo shoots. She has a Trump-approved handler. I just don’t think she has free will. And that she’s resigned to it. The best she can do is state publicly that she’ll be remaining in NYC with Barron. Let’s hope, as you say, Barron turns out more “normal” as a result.

          • HazooToo

            She definitely made me sad in all those inaug photos. I know you can’t really, honestly know what’s going on in someone’s heart through pictures, but the connection between Barack and Michelle was amazingly loving! And she just looked…. empty.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Cannot agree more with you. 100%

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Pretty sure she’s just pissed about the Russians…

      • snark-lurker

        Mel was “the other woman” once, i guess. if so, no sympathy here no matter what

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          I can respect that.

    • Nounverb911

      I just noticed turtleboy in the background wondering just WTF he got himself into.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        And ZEGS Ryan with that slappable smirk.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I’m pretty sure the only word going through Ryan’s ears at that particular moment was “Putz”….

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            So youre saying Paul was channeling us?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Ryan showing why he’s in the running for Backpfeifengesicht of the century.

      • OneYieldRegular

        He looks like his bowels just suddenly loosened.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      What is that red box under the Trump Family Bible? Did Melon insist on a lead shield in case the thing exploded on contact?

  • bookish

    http://fortune.com/2017/01/22/climate-data-trump-admin-hackers/?xid=gn_editorspicks&google_editors_picks=true

    Wired has provided a glimpse into an initiative to download and securely store reams of climate and environmental data from the Environmental Protection Agency and National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration as the Trump administration takes power. The organizers of the work, including some based at the University of Toronto, were initially motivated by widespread environmental data destruction under Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

    • snark-lurker

      they fugging better get in the ball. the DELETS are going on now i betcha

    • Lord Harper was an asshole. And cheeto hitler is even worse. Go science safety team!

      • shoeflyin

        Not even Canada is perfect

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “Though Trump has promised all manner of wild-eyed things — unbreachable border walls, a secret plan to defeat Islamic State, “terrific” universal health care for less than we’re paying now — it is utterly unclear how much he will actually be able to achieve, or, conversely, how much damage he will actually be able to inflict.

    To the extent that he moves in any directions that are reasonable, he deserves encouragement and cooperation. If he miraculously finds a cheaper alternative to Obamacare that provides high quality universal health insurance, as he has promised to do, we’ll support him. If he can create jobs and help more Americans climb out of poverty, count us in. When he’s wrong, he must be opposed.

    It would be absurd to suggest at this late date that we’re coming to the Trump presidency with an open mind. We’re deeply dismayed, even frightened. But we’re still listening.”

    LA Times is certainly optimistic!

    http://www.latimes.com/opinion/editorials/la-ed-trump-inauguration-20170119-story.html

    • HazooToo

      Listening, yeah, but expecting to be lied to every day. If he does find a magic way to provide health care to all without the ACA or single payer, or find a philosopher’s stone that can turn raw coal into pure clean energy with zero effort or waste, he’s going to have to prove it. Ten times over.

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      I suppose, but the evidence is starting to pile up, and it’s not good so far. His shitty cabinet, where the best pick so far is a guy named “Mad Dog”. His shitty inauguration speech, where he made it clear that he could care less about the people who didn’t vote for him. Steve Bannon. Kellyanne Conway and her “Alternate facts”
      Stranger things have happened. But I’m not encouraged so far.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        The LA Times is far more optimistic than I am.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I don’t know…he’s already inflicted major damage to the country and the future with his picks for cabinet positions….greedheads, incompetents, and outright traitors.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Betsy DeVos is the one who kills me. You would think with all that money she could do some good in the world, but instead she tries to make kids learn the earth is 6000 years old. A complete A idiot, that one is.

    • What disturbs me is how impulsive he is. If President Grant had poor impulse control (and he did), what difference did it make? It wasn’t all around the world at the speed of a tweet. This guy seems to have zero filters, and a off the cuff comment about how much stronger our military is as compared to some other military might have far-reaching consequences very quickly.

      And then there’s the lack of attention span. He’s shown zero interest in actually focusing on the same issue twice. He just says whatever he thinks people want to hear, and then he is off worrying about whatever he thinks the next group of people want to hear. If something he says or does causes an uproar, he’s already going to have moved on to the next shiny object that has attracted his attention.

    • The Wanderer

      I expect his regime’s scientific adviser to suggest he invest heavily in cold fusion and perpetual-motion machines.

      • TJ Barke

        Yeah, that’s the ticket!

    • going4baroque

      I totally agree with the LA Times, except with the observation that we are frightened. Fear is a thought disorder. There are perhaps some who are frightened. If so, then it is necessary to dismantle it in oneself. Fear is a structure put together by thought that avoids meeting a challenge. It is, in essence, an escape from seeing what actually is. And it only works to the advantage of the oppressor.

      • HazooToo

        I disagree. Fear is a message that something is dangerously wrong. It heightens our awareness of our surroundings, and in many cases, makes us more alert to what may actually be there that we didn’t see on first glance. What’s not good is panic and abnormal anxiety.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          As Melville wrote – “An utterly fearless man is a far more dangerous comrade than a coward.”

          • HazooToo

            I find it odd that emotions are so often looked down on by people. There’s nothing wrong with expressing an emotional component of whatever idea or argument you’re sharing. It can actually be helpful to express your emotions over the topic, because it can help people understand where you’re coming from, and how to reason with you. The problem comes when the emotions expressed are unreasonably strong, socially off-putting, or when they hint at mental instability. Being too afraid to move, yes, obviously that’s bad and you should find help to get that under control. But not being scared at all when someone is a genuine threat to your safety is not only a bit disturbing to others, it can be just as deadly to you as freezing up.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Oh, I’m afraid you’re both right…..

          • HazooToo

            This is one of those cases, I think, where the truth really IS in the middle somewhere. Don’t panic and freeze, but also don’t ignore or disable your inner security alarm.

        • going4baroque

          Fine, then we disagree. Sensing danger is an immediate act and response to the danger is immediate, and fear comes in after the danger, after the sensitive reaction of the organism has removed the danger or moved away from it, as suddenly one comes upon a precipice, there is immediate impulse and jumping back, fear is not that fast, as it is governed by thought, and thinking takes time. Impulse or innate intelligence that acts to get away from danger or to destroy the danger is not, in my view, related to fear.

          • HazooToo

            The fight or flight response may be slightly different. I’m by no means an expert on the subject, I’ll admit. And sometimes fear can be unreasonable, phobias for example, or racism. There are plenty of situations where fear can be an unhealthy response. But being afraid to do something and doing it anyway IS a challenge in itself, and during the process of doing the thing, a person can be more alert to changes in their environment that indicate danger. That can save lives. Or wind up with someone in a clown suit getting punched in the nose.

          • going4baroque

            If one is unfortunate enough to be wearing a clown suit and not realizing that having a big round red nose is seen as invitation by some to punch it, it would behoove such a clown to be big, like this guy:
            https://youtu.be/VBmCJEehYtU

          • HazooToo

            Absolutely 100% agree on that!

    • shaar dula

      I would take out ISIS (that’s a fool’s errand) and instead add add education, and industry to that list.
      but I would imagine all of these require understanding and empathetic view of the problem and people affected by it, not reactionary ideologues of the kind of DeVos or Trump.

    • Serai 1

      No matter how much you oppose your enemy, you must always listen. You can glean all kinds of information if you keep the lines of communication open.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Didn’t some guy say something about there only being one thing we should be frightened by?
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EuAZsz_z_U

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Sorry, FDR, in addition to being afraid of fear, I’m also scared shitless that a crazy man is in charge of the largest military in the world, and he’s an insecure baby with thin skin and a penchant for vindictiveness. Shudder…

  • BloviateMe
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Have you guys tried under the desk in the Oval Office, as the deserting coward did looking for the WMDs?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Have they checked the ballot boxes? I think they held a lot of nonexistent Assmouth voters too.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    On the news – “moving the American embassy to Jerusalem is a symbolic gesture that would have very real world consequences, and could set peace talks back decades.”

    Very Trumpian – do something that won’t do any good, and will cause a lot of harm. I can’t wait to see how his alt right, anti-semitic buddies feel about his efforts to make Jews happy.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Except thanks to Bibi, peace talks have been dead in the water for years.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Trump is taking the first step into the Holy War that ISIS and the Christians both want.

      • idiotboy

        Christians?

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Yep. Evangelicals at the very least.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I can’t wait to see how the voting public feels about another huge round of tax cuts for the rich, and another unwinnable war.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Symbolic Gesture Translator: Donald to the Palestinians and the entire Muslim world. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/21584b6fa8765dea1a638459a662813a9351fa2ba41d458aa7d7b407a867bfa3.jpg

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      How is it symbolic if it could start a war?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Short answer – we’re basically sticking our fingers in the eyes of Palestinians by moving our American embassy to Jerusalem. The Palestinians also consider Jerusalem to be their holy land. It’s just a dumb thing to do, with no real positives, and a whole bunch of negatives.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Even such noted dolts as the shitty grade Z movie star and the deserting coward understood precisely WHY this is a bad idea.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        But don’t you think it’s worth causing major fighting in the Mideast to make Sheldon Adelson and Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee and a bunch of other dolts happy?

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Especially when you call the squeamish “alt-right” by their REAL names.
      Nazis.

  • sw19bender
  • The Wanderer

    Hard rain gonna fall over central Florida, as the front that savaged the Deep South marches in my direction.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      We got it here in St Augustine this afternoon, and more on the way. Stay safe.

    • snark-lurker

      this is just the beginning. our species ain’t seen anything yet. all things evil this way come

      • Rick Hill

        Not to worry. Corporations have it figured out. They’re working on ways to make money off of the calamities and saving lives right this minute.

        • snark-lurker

          they have no idea…oil wars–real ones, water wars, wars over grain and then seed corn (“corn” outside of usa = predominent cash/survival crop) this can get out of hand in just hours

  • My Costco deli had beef stew setup (marinated beef, celery carrots, potatoes, onions) already to go into the crock pot. Easy peasy! 😀

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Sounds good. They have good quality stuff AND treat their employees well.

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Sounds great!
      Never thought of marinating meat for stew!

      For the future, a pro-tip from my butcher grandfather: cut up one large piece of meat for stew.
      Butchers put any old scraps into a stew meat bin, and they may all have different cooking times, cause they’re from different cuts.
      (But I’ll bet marinating helps with that.)

  • going4baroque

    JFK (progressive extraordinaire) NOVEMBER 4, 1960, CHICAGO , excerpt from campaign speech

    There is no point in telling the more than 5 million unemployed Americans, the 3 million Americans who work part time, the farmers with the declining income or the coal miner in southern Illinois or in Kentucky or West Virginia or Pennsylvania, who has been out of work for months, that he never had it so good. This country will never get action unless we first face the truth.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The truth is that MARKET FORCES have done the damage to coal in WVA. The only “coastal elites” hurting them are CEOs and Wall Street. Environmental protection is a joke…so much permanent damage to the land is being done in the name of the looting of the land by aforementioned CEOs and Wall Street. This happens with extraction industries, and those who actually did the extraction pay the price in a ruined countryside, their ruined health, and the indifference of those CEOs and Wall Street to their plight. The people of West Virginia are commodities to be exploited, as far as Drumpf and his cronies are concerned…economically and politically.

      If the Blue Sky Mining Company won’t come to my rescue
      If the sugar refining company won’t save me
      Who’s gonna save me?
      Who’s gonna save me?

      • artem1s

        I really don’t get this. The resident’s of coal country used to understand that coal mining a dangerous, messy, unhealthy, dead end job that they didn’t want their children to have any part of.

  • sw19bender
    • Blacktop Autumn

      I dunno, she looks asleep.

    • He looks as happy to be the president as the rest of us are happy that he’s the president.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b8b76ccb45eb039158e978b7cf6a736e2a6b1aade343eb653e88467e902a1f7d.jpg

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This is the story of the next four years (or less, if we’re lucky!) I’m afraid.

        I didn’t make that mistake…can’t blame me…I voted for the emails lady.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I think that was taken during the prayer. I mean, I’d love to snark, but that really looks like what you’d expect to see.

      • shoeflyin

        I saw a clip, thought it was similar to this…she said something to him and his reaction was clearly not pleased

    • Bill D. Burger

      A look inside what passes for the brain of Melania Trump:

      https://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/05192c8851e480876992d5924bf35b3ae193f3-wm.jpg?v=3

    • SayItWithWookies

      Assmouth senses a disturbance in The Force — as though someone, somewhere, is not thinking about him.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ye gods, they look like they’re at a funeral.

  • Rick Hill
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      these were the kind of sentences that make editors and us producers sigh.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      As a sad person who loved, loved, LOVED diagramming sentences, this is a tweet in which I can believe.

      • Oh. You were one of those.

        …I don’t judge too harshly. I actually married one of those.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          I hated math. This was what the math-challenged, but still brainy, did for fun in my school. Right. We’re weird. No argument.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Also — and this is often violated, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a rule — offices such as president are never capitalized unless used as a title; so it’s “we have another president,” but “I watched the inauguration of President Assmouth.”

    • shaar dula

      I’m really really sad. that this person will be handed power over one of the most important aspects of governance. I don’t know how to convey my anguish, but this is deeply upsetting. You know there are people who worked an entire lifetime to understand a field and then there are people like this who just get to lord over it just by the accident of birth.

  • MΩebym
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I love alternative salad! I may wash it down with alternative water (beer)!

    • JohnBull

      Looks like an anniversary dinner for a Gateway Pundit poster.

  • sw19bender

    Okay, fuck Mister Banhammer, I’m following this guy:
    https://twitter.com/jefftiedrich/status/823226196473380868

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    i’ve never met our editrix in person (i always hope I”ll see the wonkeggabo on the freeway when I’m out), but I love love love this moment. I knew she was just waiting to pounce.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c3950a5149a0df4c300d6c916903bbf79b29b8df88abf76dc9982558a06242b.png

    • So, that’s where DR got her side-eye from.

    • Scrofula

      I saw that and thought SHIT I don’t have photoshop anymore, cause it’s begging for some poster treatment. I can almost get there with GIMP, but somebody with the software–
      THIS IS OUR NEW CHE shot right here. A beret/Hell. No. hat and we’re good.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        do you do photoshop elements? Fantastic deal – I still have a version from like 10 years ago – but it’s of course WAY cheaper than photoshop, but has like 80% of the stuff “regular” people (not pro artists or graphic designers) use.

        • Jennifer R

          100% off topic, but I remembered something relevant to you. We were talking about weed food for your friend a few days ago, and this morning I remembered that refried beans made with weed butter is amazing.

          • Scrofula

            Weed ‘n beans is never off topic.

          • Jennifer R

            Well the topic was meals that hide the taste, and using weed beens to make burritos works so very well.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Best taco truck name ever!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah, thanks! And i will pass that along fer sure.

            Soo funny, cause I was gonna go 50% off topic further down in response to your ferret / fox video.

            I was on the internet the other day and just special for you downloaded a cute as hell little gif of a ferret in a remote control toy boat…but now I can’t find it.

          • Jennifer R

            I saw that one a couple days ago, wearing a little life vest?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            dat’s teh one!

        • Scrofula

          GIMP is totally free and can do a lot of quick-and-dirty stuff.
          Like I can totally CHE-ify that picture, but it would involve a lot of manual work and lack the professional pop it deserves.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I feel kinda bad, cause i didn’t notice one eye is just a liiiittttlle closed there – for some reason every screen cap wasn’t what I was seeing on the screen. The first one had both her eyes closed.

  • Panika MCD

    POLL – NAME YOUR NEW GOEBBELS

    we didn’t see much of this Sean Spicer during the campaign. mostly we saw K-Con aka KAC aka Con Job. so what are we going to refer to him as?

    so far I have:
    Sean the Pawn
    Vanilla Spice
    Spice, Spice Baby
    Spice, Spice BRIAN
    Sean of the White Bread

    • MΩebym

      I call him Lying Spice.

      • Panika MCD

        how does that distinguish him from K-Con?

        • MΩebym

          “Spicer” lends itself to this nickname.

          • Panika MCD

            still think it’s a bit obvious.

      • The Wanderer

        I will call KaC Lyin’ Spice. Spicer, however, I shall call The Mouth of Sauron, as he’s the actual press secretary.

        • Panika MCD

          I call her K-Con or Con Job.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’m okay with SpiceGurl.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh no–he doesn’t get to ruin the Spice Girls for me. (Kill me–their songs were catchy and dance-able.) So:

      Sean the Con
      Sean Oh Come On
      Sean the Moron
      Sean Needs a Bong
      Non, Sean, Non

      • Panika MCD

        I thought the Spice Girls ended their names with “Spice”….?

      • Panika MCD

        (I said that forgetting I included “Vanilla Spice”, which was more of a reference to Vanilla Ice… Vanilla Spicer?)

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Mouth of Sauron.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I kinda like Baghdad Sean.

    • TJ Barke

      Aot,k. Obviously.

    • Spurning Beer

      Alt-Spice?

  • WomanInTheResistance

    So I just got home from work, and feel like discussing chicken soup. This looks very tasty indeed, but I do mine a bit differently. For one thing, I much prefer using thigh meat. I feel that it does better if you’re cooking it for longer. If using a commercial broth, and this recipe as your guideline, use 4-5 bone-in thighs. While prepping the veggies, put the broth and the thighs into a medium-sized pot, and let them simmer for 30-40 minutes. That should give you the time to drink a glass of wine and compose a stern email to your local congresscritter.

    Fish the thighs out, put them on a plate, and let them cool in the fridge. Drink more wine, or smoke a little something if you prefer. Check out http://www.whatdoidoabouttrump.com. See if there is a local organization that might be one you want to join. This should let the thighs become cool enough to handle, even if you are not. Pull the meat off the bones, throw the bones back into the broth, cut the thigh meat up, and proceed as directed. Just make sure that you strain the broth. Trust me on this.

    Sorry if I’m rehashing stuff much further below, but did I mention Work?

    Is TL;DS (too lazy, didn’t scroll) a thing? It should be.

    • HazooToo

      I don’t like dark meat. There’s just something sssslimy about the texture!

      • Scrofula

        Not in my soup, anyway. Dark meat otherwise . . .

        • HazooToo

          I waited 30 mins the other night for a crispy chicken breast at KFC. KFC! Breasts only, forever, even with turkey.

          • msanthropesmr

            Ew.

          • HazooToo

            That’s okay, bby, if you wanna eat thighs and gristly wings, I won’t judge. You go eat the wrong way, more breasts for me! <3

          • Scrofula

            I’ve waited a lot longer for breasts before.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            HI-YO!

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            BWAHAHAHA! [*high five*]

      • WomanInTheResistance

        That’s fine. Our tastes just differ. Nothing wrong with that.

        • HazooToo

          Precisely. You can come to Thanksgiving dinner and eat the parts we don’t like!

          • WomanInTheResistance

            And now I want to watch “Adrams Family Values” yet again. “White meat and dark meat, together in brothrhood!”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yeah, it’s hard to wade through everything. Lots of discussion of soup, though.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        I’ll go check it out in a bit. Hope I didn’t come across as critical. I just like my soup a little different, that’s all.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          I think there are as many different recipes for soup as there are stars in the sky.

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Thighs are the best!
      Lots of flavor!

  • Blackest Noobs

    They say Trump is projecting STRENGTH.

    I have yet to see any evidence of that. And the whining and complaining on twitter isn’t helping his case.

    • msanthropesmr

      Yeah but smell isn’t everything.!!!! Hur Hur Hur..

    • Tetsu Kaba

      Well, he is projecting…

    • Panika MCD

      gah! did you not hear Con Job and Spice, Spice Baby?! you’re supposed to just repeat the things they say! no wonder comments are not allowed.

    • Jenny

      It is strength according to people who have none and imagine what it is like. Source: everyone I know who voted Trump are weak insecure people.

  • DahBoner

    If Alexander Flemings maid had tiedied up a little more in the lab and thrown out that moldy bread we wouldn’t be talking about pennecillin!
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/Wwfi6QHYrCBYA/200w_d.gif#67

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
  • Rick Hill

    So, there was some fun had yesterday?
    http://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aMwR9OX_460s.jpg

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Oh that one is amazing.

    • Panika MCD

      I didn’t get any photos myself, but about 100 people took photos of Calliope Jane.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Super OT:
    We have a kitty door, but the eldest cat STILL wants us to let him in and out. Now he’s somehow taught his babby sister to do the same thing.

    Snowflake cat!
    (This is not him, we don’t have snow down here anymore)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/39aadb0438629b7125cf031801b41cfc341b3054616a402533e06a64c551efbd.jpg

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I love kitty pictures. That’s adorable. And you’re a good human to let them in and out the door like that. Cats do love to train us.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        the one who started is TX mom’s best friend…so she taught me how to interpret his body language. He’ll come in the room, then leave and then sit in front of the back door facing it.

        It’s like he’s saying “come on dummy, get the picture.”

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith
    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      My kitty uses her door but from time to time just HAS to go out the front door.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        god, bastard cat does that. And he’s been living here for 7 years…he knows how to go out the back adn around to the front.

        Hell’s bells, there’s a little hole in the gate so they can cross between the back adn front yards.
        Little buggers.

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          I think little thought bubbles form in their brains and take control of them. Sometimes Miss Pepper comes running in from the bedroom where she’s been sleeping on the bed for hours as though she suddenly has a need to be petted. How did that come about? Thought bubble.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol – bastard cat does this “chhhharrgeee!” thing when he comes in or goes out.

            I can’t describe it, but it looks a bit like when football players run out of hte tunnel at the beginning of a game. Maybe I’ll get it on camera one day.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            They can be so funny. I used to have a cat who made what I called Kramer entrances (like Kramer on Seinfeld). He’d come tearing in and slide to a stop on the wood floor.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that’s pretty close to what I’m talking about – he sort of builds up speed, charges over the threshold likes it electrified and then winds down like a sprinter after a race. It’s funny.

  • Rick Hill

    One of these is not like the other
    http://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aG03140_460s.jpg

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Have we ever seen Trump actually talk to his wife, let alone to seemingly enjoy her company?

      • Women are props to him.

        • Blacktop Autumn

          That is so beyond me. I just can’t see being with someone who, for instance, fails at making me laugh until I cry.

          I just have always seen relationships as partnerships, and any other view is just not right by my standards.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Are there any photos of her smiling. Every single one I’ve seen looks like she’s been hypnotized.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          She has a smile on her face in the photo taken of her, Cheeto Jeebus, and Bill and Hillary at the wedding. I’m not aware of one since then, however.

        • Suse

          I think she’s on Xanax or something similar.

        • Scrofula

          Massive Botox overdose?

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          She was smiling in photos I saw of the inaugural ball.

          • Tetsu Kaba

            I saw one where they were dancing, and she was leaning away from him and looked ready to chew her own arm off to escape the trap.

          • phoenix00

            All Donnie wanted to do was flash his silly thumbs-up and bask in the audience applause, and paid no attention to his wife.

      • Suse

        He was saying something to her during their first dance. Probably, “Smile or I’ll send you back to Slovenia.”

        • Blacktop Autumn

          Or “I really showed that ~n-word~, huh?”

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      The more I see of them, the more I get an abused spouse vibe from Melania. I can’t even snark on her at this point: she looks so trapped.

      • Scrofula

        I think she had an idea what she was getting into, though. Not that any real abuse is justified.

      • Rick Hill

        For a model she isn’t enjoying the limelight. She knows if the day doesn’t go well, she will get the blame from donnie

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Verbal and psychological abuse wouldn’t surprise me one bit.

        I bet he gaslights too.

        • Well, he had to practice somewhere

          • Blacktop Autumn

            Heh, it’s hard to snark on this. I was going to make a joke about the fact that I’m pretty sure she could beat the shit out of him if he raised a hand to her, but abuse posts aren’t something I’m comfortable joking around.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          It’s a typical part of an NPD profile.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        What a stark difference between the couples in that photo! How could Melania not feel sad being around the Obamas?

    • SayItWithWookies

      “I’ll bet she tells herself to lie still and think of Slovenia.”

    • phoenix00

      Most telling moment: Limo pulls up to building, Donnie jumps out of the limo and storms off, leaving Michelle and Barry to help Melania out of the limo.

      Too lazy to go find the clip. Or too maddening, as someone raised to be considerate and accommodating no matter what.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
  • Bill D. Burger

    “Packers crushes Falcons to advance to Super Bowl LI” ___ Oh wait!

    That’s the alternative fact version.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Yay!…

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Dear Sean Spicer of Cardassia Prime,

    We are all now Jean-Luc Picard. We will resist and you, will lose.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjKQQpPVifY&list=PLP65AlAMz_a4_rMTJjjlkB_1yfOT8T_At&index=14

    • Scrofula

      Makes me hungry for pickled eggs.

    • Rick Hill

      I wouldn’t bother learning his name. He won’t be there long

    • A_Changeling

      Now I need to see the whole thing.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Please, oh please, follow this account.
    https://twitter.com/HalfOnionInABag/status/822519410212515840

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Done!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Done!

    • Courser

      Done! I have the same handle over there with an 01 after it but I basically never use it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Done and shared.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      I also have followed. (sorry, had to be different)

  • I Am Helpy
    • TJ Barke

      *snerk*

  • Bill D. Burger

    Hmmm…..I’m calling this a bullshit verbal fart and diversion to make themselves appear neutral and above the fray. They were in the tank for Trump, and nothing they do or say now will change the fact that they helped put this abominable creature in the White House.
    On the other hand, if someone gets the returns, there are MANY ways to make them public and they will be plastered around the world in a matter of hours.

    https://twitter.com/wikileaks/status/823212055322853382?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    • Panika MCD

      if someone gets the returns, they should send them to Warren Buffet, Marc Cuban, David Farenthold and our Wonkette!

    • Rick Hill

      Idk. Think of the page hits it would generate.

    • Juan de Fuca

      It’s like they’re going for a participation award a year after the race.

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      Wikileaks will get them when either McConnel or Putin decide that Trump is no longer useful. They will get plenty of other stuff, too.

      • Panika MCD

        I thought that was what the polonium Melania was keeping in the night stand was for…?

  • Panika MCD

    POLL – NAME YOUR OTHER NEW GOEBBELS

    so now we have disagreement on what we’re calling the one with the sleepy eyes, thinning hair and poor fashion choices. I’ve seen a lot of KAC which is odd to me because its Kellyanne, not Kelly Anne. so I’ve got:

    K-Con
    Con Job
    I did it Conway
    Corn on the Con
    Con on the Cob

    • Scrofula

      That’s why it’s “KaC”. Either way, it’s the “caaaack” sound that’s important.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      These are all good but I’m partial to K-Con. Short and to the point,

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I like KaCa, which doesn’t scan the names, but is fairly pointed.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Also, someone called Spicer “Liar Spice”, but I like that for Kellyanne, for the Spice Girls reference.

  • Rick Hill

    Ok, now for something completely different, the clearest photo yet of the planet Mercury.
    http://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aBwq1R2_700b.jpg

    • Scrofula

      FALSE COLOR!!!
      Lying media!!

      • Bill D. Burger

        Alternative fact color?

      • Rick Hill

        Not only that but where is the sun? Fake planet!!

    • shaar dula

      woah! clearest of photo of anything that distant, I for one have ever seen. I feel “honered” and privileged to even be alive seeing something like this.
      holy mother of sweet baby ganesha, that beauty is out there in the skies?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “That’s the largest ancient gobstopper ever witnessed. Period.” – Lying Spice

    • Michael R

      ” It’s crowded with my supporters ” – Donald Trump

      • WomanInTheResistance

        God I wish.

    • shaar dula

      I get conflicted by things like this. sometimes I feel, fuck all this why not follow the beauty out there. then I feel guilty, when there is so much crap around here, how can you not pay attention to what is happening around here and instead indulge in the guilty pleasure of watching the skies?
      I mean the mental capacity to follow either is the same. the emotional quotient is not.

      • BosGrl

        We have to look beyond ourselves. Otherwise, we’d just be looking at each other and ugh.

    • Jenny

      Wow beautiful. Like a planet created by Van Gogh.

    • Suse

      We’re gonna get rid of the planets on day one, believe me.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    O/T I love it when cishet white men acknowledge their privilege and then tell me what *I* and others need to do as a whole the next sentence. That’s hilarious. *coughcoughCrackedcoughcough*

    Also apparently one of Future Mr. Cats’s brothers said he didn’t believe in an afterlife, got into an argument with their mom, and there is a Sicilian Catholic religious argument in the house right now. I can only hope that everyone survives.

    • BosGrl

      I had this back and forth with my mother yesterday who said, “Don’t you feel Katie?” and yeah, I really, really want to but I don’t. I smell her sometimes (I know, weird) but I know that’s in my brain; she’s not a ghost. She’s gone and I mourn her, and I wish I could get into this feathers and dimes thing, but I can’t. I told her I respect her opinion on this but could she please respect mine. When people tell me Katie’s in a better place or she’s with Jesus, I just say “thanks” because I don’t want to say “No, she’s not!” and start something.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        Hugs.

      • Suse

        Sorry for your loss. I smell my sister, too. I’ve had some very weird things happen that my primitive brain believes she was involved in. It’s comforting. I do not believe she’s with this Jesus guy, just that she’s around in some form or other.

        • BosGrl

          I’m sorry about your sister. I don’t so much discount other people’s stuff because I don’t know what happens when we die; I just know how I feel and I don’t like it being pushed on me. I’m glad you get comfort.

          I’m glad you can smell her too because I thought it was just me being weird!

      • SayItWithWookies

        I still talk to a dear deceased friend of mine from time to time, even though my logical mind knows full well she’s not here and I don’t believe in an afterlife of any sort. And she and a few other people, I still talk about in the present tense. I’m not willing to put deadlines on the emotional acceptance part of grieving, so logical contradictions be damned.

      • A_Changeling

        I refuse to get into those conversations. But I do tell people that while they mean good, they’re awfully close to insulting, just so they don’t do it to someone else. I had a bit of a fight about this with a preacher guy who’s staying in the same place. You do not get to fictionalize my daughter. She’s not a fictional character. She was real and she still belongs to herself. And you may say it’s not fiction but Truth, but until proven it’s fiction.
        To me, my daughter is there because she’s in all the nows that are now past. It was as now then as it is now. And time is a dimension that’s not really going in any direction; that’s what we see. All moments are the same and I often do feel that they slide on top of each other, I live in many moments and on many levels in my mind, and sometimes all moments seem to exist simultaneously, and it makes sense. I don’t know if it does for anybody else, but people in my family (all atheists) seem to have the same experience, even if they don’t try to explain it like I do.
        I hope you’ll find whatever comfort that you can get, wherever it comes from. We did get to have our children and they did get to live, and that has to count for something.
        Way off topic, but touched a sore but dear spot.

        • BosGrl

          Damn, I’m so sorry you lost your daughter. It’s a pain like no other. It’s great you have such a supportive family.

          I like your statement “She was real and she still belongs to herself.” I copied your comments to my sticky notes on my desktop because they really resonate with me. Thank you for sharing that. It absolutely makes sense and you said it perfectly.

          • A_Changeling

            It really is something that’s almost impossible to describe. I remember reading at some point someone else’s observation that mostly grief is just inexplicable. It’s not like the human feelings you used to have.
            It’s been a year and a half, but I’m nowhere near normalcy. I don’t know if I ever will be. It’s good to hear from others who are in this strange world, because it gets so unreal and lonely here. Other people often seem to be in such a careless reality. And if someone who’s been in the same situation shares their feelings and roots for you, it really counts, because you know where it comes from. Love to you.

          • BosGrl

            There are people in my bereavement group who say it gets worse before it gets better; a year and a half is just a tiny amount of time and we all experience this differently. I don’t think you can ever get over it. You can move forward but you can never move on. Love to you too!! We have to look out for each other.

          • A_Changeling

            That’s what I was told too, and it did get worse. And then it got easier, slowly. And that’s just weird. Hard to adapt to feeling better, really, I’m struggling with it! In a way it’s the hardest thing in my life right now, to accept that I can feel normal and good.
            You can move forward but you can never move on – that thought sounds so familiar. I feel a part of me has been left behind and will always stay there – but in a way it’s good, it belongs there.

          • BosGrl

            Our children are pieces of us so that makes sense that we feel that. I’ve decided that I will really never be normal but looking back on my day and finding the good really helps.

      • Courser

        Argh, I’m so sorry. Everyone grieves in their own way and I, and I’m sure everyone here, respects that. It sucks, but yes, I’ve had to do the same. I think people say stupid shit because they don’t know what else to say. Plus, they have their own beliefs that give them comfort and want to share. So yeah, I’ve just said, ‘Thanks,’ too.

      • HazooToo

        I know my Mom is gone, but talking to her still helps. Having her ashes helps, too, in both a box and a necklace. Definitely get the need to just make the appropriate noise and move on when people say well-meaning stuff that’s actually stupid. Just when it’s your Mom trying to talk about that stuff, it’s got to be harder. I hope you guys can get through it without straining things, take care of each other, and good luck!

        • BosGrl

          I am picking up Katie’s ashes this week and I think it will definitely help. I’m sorry your mom is gone. I am truly grateful to have mine still around and I’ve told her that, but she is a master button pusher!

          • HazooToo

            Moms always are <3 You have us to vent to, to release the pressure.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Those sorts of arguments are best observed from what we would call a “minimum safe distance”.

      • C4TWOMAN

        So like, they need to leave the house?

    • msanthropesmr

      At least the food is good?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Off to a good start.
    Foreign Payments to Trump Firms Violate Constitution, Suit Will Claim

    [WASHINGTON — A team of prominent constitutional scholars, Supreme Court litigators and former White House ethics lawyers intends to file a lawsuit Monday morning alleging that President Trump is violating the Constitution by allowing his hotels and other business operations to accept payments from foreign governments.

    The lawsuit is among a barrage of legal actions against the Trump administration that have been initiated or are being planned by major liberal advocacy organizations.]

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/22/us/politics/trump-foreign-payments-constitution-lawsuit.html?referer=https://www.google.com/&_r=0

    • SayItWithWookies

      For that matter, let’s see proof — in the form of a letter from the IRS notifying him — that he’s under audit and therefore can’t release his tax returns. He’s never done that little, and frankly there’s no reason to take him at his word.

      • JJ O’Shaughnessy

        I think the IRS issued a statement at some point saying it was ok for him to release his taxes.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: Speaking of cats – I posted this really really late last night – but I like to think it’s a representation of the Wonketeriat as animals, taking a selfie together.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/668cc57c139a6337514df227224381ae67355b4b61ce4a31599438ca2b05b33e.jpg

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Not enough cats.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Trix needs her whip.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Only one is required with this gang.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Dogs are loyal followers.

          Am I being dogist?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        we’re the minority around here.
        ; )

      • Courser

        One Cat to Rule Them All

      • C4TWOMAN

        And, if the non-comments are any indication, ferrets.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          gah, and I try so hard to be inclusive.

          Maybe I’ll photoshop one in there.

    • shaar dula

      yesterday, we went to our local lake. just to get “out of the cabin” and for a change of scenery of sneezing noses. anywho saw a doggie with shoes. blew my mind off. I had to ask and did ask, what size those shoes? a laff is all I got.

      • Jennifer R

        I was looking at photos of ferrets today, and the huge variety of ferret clothes people make is right out there.

        • Courser

          You know, people who dress up their pets for shits and giggles, beyond the age about 10 or so, just creep me right the fuck out. Why the fuck are you dressing your pug like barbie???

      • Courser

        Oh, I hear you. Have you ever put those booties on a dog? I have and it’s comical. In my case, I was doing it for a particular valid reason (‘cuz hunting dog) and OMG, what a pain in the ass! Also too, news flash, most dogs have a DO NOT WANT attitude about the fuckers. Watch a dog try to walk in them the first time. Hysterical.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Why does the cat look like it’s taking the selfie?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        probably swiping at the lens – but that’s why I loved it so much.

        They’re like, “this is my posse!”

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      How bad ass is that little spaniel (Cavalier?) with the two Rottweilers!
      And that cat…I can’t even!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        ; )

        I thought you folks would love that.

  • calliecallie

    OT, but I wrote my rethuglican congresscritter about not repealing the ACA. He wrote back to “respectfully disagree” with me, citing these #alternatefacts:

    “…Existing customers can expect an average increase of 73 percent, while the average change due to Obamacare for those purchasing a new plan will be a 96 percent increase in premiums. The average cost for a new customer in the individual market is expected to rise $1,812 per year.

    …Nearly 75 percent of small business owners say the law’s confusing new mandates, regulations, and taxes have made it more difficult to hire new workers and remain financially viable.”

    I am interested in getting the real facts, especially by state, as I am confident those numbers are not for his district or Michigan. Anybody know where I could get some reliable facts about the ACA? I would love to write this asshole back and give him better data.

    • Panika MCD

      the average increase overtime is much lower than it used to be. the 80% rule doesn’t have a high enough fine because the money the insurance companies can make by putting the excess premiums in their bank and then paying back the excess and the fine are exceeded by the interest they earn. and why did a Congress critter actually bother to write you back if they were just going to be a dick? it’s hard enough to get them to respond when you agree with them, is this really what they want to spend their time on?

      • Jennifer R

        If you are a conservative congressfuck (or at least the staffer for them) and you both have to hit a quota for responded letters, and can only respond to so many, who are you gonna write to? The person who maybe votes for you? Or the person who will never in a million years? I know who I would every time, gleefully.

        • Panika MCD

          the people that like you (with a remit envelope because it’s always nice to have new campaign donors) and the people who just need some fucking help and don’t say anything about partisanship (because they’ll make sure you have a job in the future). I just had to go to my congress critter’s constituent services guy. he was quite nice and helpful. but I’d still vote for the D if I were staying in the district. however, the guy is a former lobbyist in the Pink Dome who was very good at what he did, so, in the unlikely event that TX CD-25 flips (it’s not going to), he’s still going to have a job.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Don’t people get subsidies to cover most of the rise now or something?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      those kaiser foundation folks are well-respected non partisan analysts of this stuff.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
      • calliecallie

        That looks great. Thanks!

    • Jenny

      You could always ask for his source then destroy that. Because you know it will be some Brietbart type column.

      • phoenix00

        @calliecallie:disqus This. Ask to cite their source.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          that was my thought too – where’s teh footnotes and citations, you buggers?

          • phoenix00

            It’s not a dissertation paper but come on……

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            fair enough…but at least and “according to…” woulda been nice.

          • phoenix00

            /nods exactomondo.

    • BloviateMe

      C&P form letter, I suspect. You call it the ACA, and he trolls back with “Obamacare?”

      • calliecallie

        Yes!

    • HazooToo

      Holy shit, your Congresscritter RESPONDED? Mine is still playing fucking stupid!

    • Oh, hey! I plugged this response into teh googlez and it spat up this blog post which matches almost word for word, citing a House Energy and Commerce Committee Report issued in 2013, and based upon self-reporting from the insurance industry.

      So, old numbers, from corporate bigwigs and lack of citation amounts to plagiarism. Do your own homework, conresscritter!

      As for the 75% of businesses stuff, that came from Marco Rubio, by way of FoxNews and Politifact says, “Not so much.”

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        nice google fu and excellent work!

      • calliecallie

        Thanks!

  • Michael R
    • TJ Barke

      BOOM!

  • BosGrl
    • TJ Barke

      Fucking rag. (meaning the philly inquirer)

    • msanthropesmr

      Fuck you Philly Inquirer. Fuck you so very very much. Fuck you soooo much.

      • BosGrl

        I think they want to be in the front row to make google eyes at Spicer. This is the kind of headline Drumpf swoons over.

    • No. And Hell, No

    • Michael R

      Show us your tits , again

    • shaar dula

      nope.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      While I truly support our human diversity of sexuality, I think I can say without fear of contradiction, that whoever wrote this has very strange tastes.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Rule 34 strikes again!

    • SayItWithWookies

      According to her husband, “thirty-five is checkout time,” so he probably doesn’t think so. And according to me, the most recent former first lady was the sexiest ever, so it’s unanimous.

      • HazooToo

        How the fuck do you MARRY someone who has basically said you have an expiration date, and he’ll get rid of you?

        • BosGrl

          Maybe she’s looking forward to it?

          • HazooToo

            If what some of us think is true, she probably can’t wait…

        • Lots and lots and lots of money and never having to work again.

    • Courser

      Not so much. She looks very plastic.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      All 1st ladies have been sexy. Eleanor Roosevelt for her strength and desire to do the right thing. Hillary Clinton for her public service and compassion. I could go on. So far, Melania is only moderately beautiful. She needs to prove herself as sexy.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      If by this you mean “is this the first First Lady everyone has seen entirely naked,” I suppose the answer has to be “yes.”

    • Treg Brown
    • phoenix00

      So how combustible is the Philly Inquirer? As much as Daily Mail? National Enquirer?

      • It used to be good, or at least, pretty even handed, though always conservative in bent.
        Operative words USED TO BE

    • Rick Hill

      Just clicked it, said it doesn’t exist.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      I’ve tried hitting this link a few more times. It definately came up earlier, but now – nothing.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    This is NOT a FB video. ‘Trix on CNN.

    • And Trix was awesomesauce

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Thanks–I missed it live as I was at the Los Angeles march, but I can’t wait to watch this later tonight!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        It’s lotsa fun!

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Thanks!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Hope she douses liberally with lye, baking soda, and sulfuric acid to get those Jan Brewer cooties off. Tenacious little buggers.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Pretty sure ‘Trix does everything “liberally.”

    • Juan de Fuca

      She was very poised and courteous towards Jan Brewer.

    • Panika MCD

      THANK YOU!

  • Suse
    • WomanInTheResistance

      There were at least four that I counted. One of them, who was….well….yummy had a line of people who wanted to get their pictures taken with him.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Maybe I should apply to be a cop in Portland…sounds like a good way to meet girls.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Well, the pussy hat helped. They weren’t so charming the night before.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      These guys looked really cute in riot gear during the Black Lives Matters marches, too.

    • Panika MCD

      we didn’t have enough cops or troopers to pull this one off. while the ageist lady who was organizing did listen to me about bathrooms, she decided I was crazy to suggest that water was not an “if” proposition, but a “how” proposition and that they needed some security liaisons. (there were no dust ups, but there were quite a few people who overheated. it was only about 70 F, but it was sunny and we were reaaaaalllllly packed in there. also, we tore the lawn up pretty badly.

      • C4TWOMAN

        This is why I stay away from marches where the organizers have adopted a “the police are the enemy” stance; they also tend to dismiss practical concerns. Those types will also pull the “we don’t need permits” stunt and give conflicting information to attendees that could get people arrested. Then they’ll claim it’s a victory against the “man”.

        That’s mostly the “radical” crowd trying to make a statement, not “bourgeois” mainstream feminists, but as a result I’m very wary. I do find it amusing many of these radical types either weren’t in attendance or were very low key. Almost as if they were worried someone might call them on their bs….

        • Panika MCD

          they didn’t opt that stance. they opted “we have 100 ‘march marshals’ that they can ask, or they can ask me, the main organizer, because I surely won’t be too busy” as a stance. we did also too have a permit.

          but they did adopt a “we are TOTALLY non-partisan” and I was all, “okay, so get State Rep. Sarah Davis (R – Houston) to speak and call the TDP to ask if they can bring some fucking water already!”

          • C4TWOMAN

            Always get the fine print on hard core “non-partisan” stances. To people like you and me it means tolerating reasonable broad minded conservatives. But it’s been used to excuse anti-Semitic alt-right conspiracy personalities/propaganda. In fact it’s a the goto excuse for not kicking problematic people out of co-ops etc, right behind Freeze Peach.

          • Panika MCD

            luckily, the problematic people didn’t show up. but I was more worried that it would allow for such people to co-opt the march than I was thinking the “organizers” were those people. in this case, it was more that there was probably one person on the steering committee who wanted to make their mark and they chose this. I don’t know if I hate the latter or the former more.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Oh it can be either, definitely. It can also be a naive idealist organizer who’s a purist and the co-opters, as you say, take advantage. Sometimes all you have to do it point out solid guidelines/rules/mission statement can discourage trouble makers, as the Sci-fi convention community is learning rather belatedly.

        • Courser

          From what I heard the Denver cops were great and openly stated that they were there to protect the right to peaceful protest. In turn, cops got LOTS of hugs and thanks from the protesters. We’ve had some serious policing issues recently and change is hard for everyone. Both sides have been angry at one time or another. Seeing police getting credit when they done good is important. For everyone.

    • Courser
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    I think this federal appellate judge may be one of us (sorry, full story is behind a login system, not paid, but sign up and password, bah)

    “Judge Waxes Cosmetic in Nixing Kardashian Sisters’ Arbitration Bid”

    “The Kardashian sisters were on the losing side of a punny federal appellate court opinion issued Wednesday.

    “At first blush, the issue appears to require application of Florida’s doctrine of equitable estoppel under which a party to an agreement who relies on it in a dispute with a nonparty can be required by that nonparty to comply with other terms of the agreement, including the arbitration clause,” he wrote. “But there is a wrinkle in this case: the arbitration clause which the nonparty to the agreement is seeking to enforce is explicitly limited to disputes between the parties.”

    “Like makeup, Florida’s doctrine of equitable estoppel can only cover so much,” Carnes wrote.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I love when judges get creative in writing their rhetoric. The judge who heard the suit against Axanar by CBS had a similar sense of humor.

      “Like many other Star Trek fans, Peters wants to make his own Star Trek production. However, going where no man has gone before in producing Star Trek fan films, Defendants sought to make “a professional production,” “with a fully professional crew, many of whom have worked on Star Trek itself,” and raised over a million dollars on crowdsourcing websites Kickstarter and Indiegogo to fund their projects.”

      “Peters “was interested in creating alternative ways for fans to view Star Trek” – the way to Eden perhaps.”

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol – I know right? Breaks up the monotony of the day to day. I’ve seen opinions quoting and citing beatles lyrics, and other crazy stuff I can’t remember at the moment.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Word nerds make excellent Trolls.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      KaWy thinks facts are for losers.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Merriam Webster is the sassiest dictionary.

    • phoenix00

      Now that is goood snark.

    • Apple Scruff

      They’re brilliant at this snarky word trolling thing.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Well played. Well played indeed.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Courser

      But of course…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Happy time: Drublic Jr.’s 30th birthday tomorrow. Lunch with family at a local taco joint today, which is always nice because he and his beloved grandma (my mother) are extremely close. We have a gig tomorrow night, so a chance to celebrate more with the crew and other friends.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      That sounds like a very happy time indeed!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yay! Happy birth to the spawn! have a good time!

    • msanthropesmr

      WHoa. How on earth do you plan in a band with your son? I think me and my old man would kill each other.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        see: Jackson, Family.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Well, we get on well to start with. And I decided, when he joined, that it needed to be a peer relationship-guys in the same band-rather than a father/son relationship. People are always asking him why he plays that weird music with a bunch of old goats.

    • HazooToo

      Happy spawning day!

    • BosGrl

      Happy Birthday, DJ!

    • Suttree

      Happy birthday awesome spawn! Happy being a good father day also too, good sir.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It’s all about that bass…

    • Courser

      Excellent! Have a great time tomorrow!

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Panika MCD

      this guy needs a nickname as well, but a nice one because I like him right now.

      • The good Republican?

        • Panika MCD

          I know too many of those.

          • Tallmutha

            The unbeguiled Republican?

          • Panika MCD

            state legislatures have a bunch. I also have a friend from my high school days who works for Sen. Sullivan. remember that Sullivan and Murkowski both resigned their positions in the AK GOP and voted for McMullin.

          • Hm.
            Ok, how about E the M.C.?

          • Panika MCD

            no first hand experience.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      We should all dust off our Hannah Arendt.

      “In an ever-changing, incomprehensible world the masses had reached the point where they would, at the same time, believe everything and nothing, think that everything was possible and nothing was true… The totalitarian mass leaders based their propaganda on the correct psychological assumption that, under such conditions, one could make people believe the most fantastic statements one day, and trust that if the next day they were given irrefutable proof of their falsehood, they would take refuge in cynicism; instead of deserting the leaders who had lied to them, they would protest that they had known all along that the statement was a lie and would admire the leaders for their superior tactical cleverness.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The banality of evil…

      • Tallmutha

        Thanks, I’ve been saying “At this point, I believe everything and nothing” for years without realizing the source.

        • Courser

          Same here. I said it in reference to religion.

    • Suttree

      Is this Garry Kasparov’s twatter?

      • Alan

        Yep, he would know about such things.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • TJ Barke

      TRUCK FUMP!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I was kinda shocked seeing the miami spot – I had not seen a single photo or mention yesterday. Also, I was shocked houston as I didn’t see anything about one there either.

        My town is not noted, although we apparently did have a march. But look at all those places is awesome.

        • Jenny

          Houston was last minute, as in a week of planning and 20k showed up.

          I know people protested in Dallas and Denton County too. Just about every city had some sort of protest it seems. Even if it was just a handful of people.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            wow – and see that’s what’s weird – I didn’t see anything on the houston website I looked at and no pictures.
            But that’s awesome to know.

          • Jenny

            Houston doesn’t really protest, not the way Austin and Dallas does. So I guess that’s how fucked up shit is that Houston stepped up.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            They had a march with 600 people in Green Valley, AZ…a conservative retirement community about 20 miles south of Tucson. I was impressed.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            That is wonderful.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Green Valley? Seriously? Did they all do the route on golf carts?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Ha! Walkers and golf carts. I maybe should’ve driven down there to march with my peers!

      • Truck Fump

        You called?

        • TJ Barke

          YEAH! Fuck that Trump guy, am I right?

    • Many states? ALL OF ‘EM KATIE!!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        actually, I wonder if you’re right – were there marches in all 50?

        I see Maine is empty, but I heard about some small rural one there yesterday. Also we don’t see alaska or hawaii – and we know there were ones there too.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          My cousin Olivia went to the march in Kona on the big island.

        • Suttree

          See my comment above.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          I think on every continent, too.

        • suziq

          They may be only counting the ones that were registered. I looked on the map several times before I left for Mexico and nothing showed by me but I found one on Facebook right in our little village.

      • Suttree

        I am wondering about Maine? I cannot believe that there wouldn’t be a march there. I lived I Portland for a year, and it was super liberal!

    • HazooToo

      Some HUGE ass spots in Trump’s supposedly “landslide” states! That’s absolutely delightful.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    It has to have been posted by now, but for those who haven’t seen it, sooooo cute.
    https://www.buzzfeed.com/davidmack/people-cant-deal-with-how-this-cute-toddler-and-her-womens-m?utm_term=.taoX1l3e4#.khMrd74EM

    • Jennifer R

      Stop making me feel hope.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I know. It made me feel that way too.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      I’d seen the photo but not the story. Thanks for posting.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      That’s a great story:
      ““She had been watching us make our signs and she had grabbed the markers and she had gone to town on it,” Sowry said. “She obviously had something to say and she did it herself.””
      https://twitter.com/AlvinIrby/status/823254080575438849/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        We’re fighting for you, #wokebaby!

      • MΩebym

        Okay, okay…I concede this human child is cuter than a kitten.

    • Panika MCD

      it seems the onion ninjas got some ideas from that new tweeters account. goddamn, that’s a cute wokened babby.

  • Jenny

    I showed my kids coverage about the marches. They seemed uninterested but I caught my daughter googling images later. They probably won’t realize the magnitude for another few years.

    • Shibusa

      Let’s hope everybody maintains the energy and enthusiasm and keeps the pressure up on their gov’t representatives.

    • MΩebym

      Plant the seed.

    • BosGrl

      Love it when you think they aren’t listening but then you realize they really were!

    • Panika MCD

      wish you had come down! we totally tore up the lawn. oops.

  • Suse
    • TJ Barke

      Goodnight America…

    • Martini Ambassador

      And the classic from a SFB poster of the week, “That is all goodbye and goodnight cowards.”

    • phoenix00

      Hello Putin!

  • The Librarian

    Don’t know if anyone saw this sign, but I love it.

    (Photo credit is L.V. Anderson of Slate)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4716bd44429b9e6f2d27c2505058536061c854cd4323662f34c2f5f4d62a4381.jpg

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea
      • The Librarian

        Really clever! I wish more people had paid attention to this…… Thanks for sharing.

    • Zyxomma

      Saw that in NYC as well.

  • MΩebym

    Sweet dreams…

    (Also, octopus libelz!11! Octopi are actually intelligent.)

    https://twitter.com/Lauzirika/status/823307796821065729

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      One of them accurately predicts the outcome of the World Cup every four years!

      • Suttree

        RIP Paul.

    • Ohhhh please let that be a congressional constituent art winner oh please oh please

  • Jennifer R
    • HazooToo

      Is it bad I can actually picture the ferret slowly, yet inevitably, gnawing it’s way into a gun safe?

      • Jennifer R

        I can too, little fur butts get into anything and everything. They managed to defeat the small 10 CU foot car cage, and if they had access to little weight tables could probably open up the big house cage bolts too.

        • HazooToo

          And the way they flatten themselves out is astonishing! Give them a single tiny gap, and they will virtually turn into liquid in a tube in order to squeeze, shimmy and wiggle through. What are bones?

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah, I have seen them crawl into toilet paper tubes.

            I had a ferret that decided to spend the last two years bald and I can tell you that they are basically cat level of excess skin to float around inside of.

          • HazooToo

            I can’t even imagine a naked ferret! XD Do you have a picture of the poor thing?

          • Panika MCD

            I wish I had gotten some of mine. I hope JR has some.

          • Suttree

            If anyone has missed this, that Lizzie put up and a few people seem to like it. Kitty livestream! I just spent the most part of the weekend watching it. Charley is the orange one that doesn’t look like the others. And Baskerville and Gary are two of the itty bitty ones.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPv9yKC76hE

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Glad to see charley is part of the fambly now – I was worried about that. (He’s currently curled up with a stepbrudder and his stepmom).

          • Suttree

            The human daddy was feeding him by hand earlier today. From what Lizzie tells me he hasn’t taken to suckling quite yet. Whenever I watch this I just fall asleep on Lizzie’s lap and cuddle. So I tend to miss out on the important stuff.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah, they got wired at like 4:15 one morning when I was still up (it was 3:15 my time),.

          • HazooToo

            That’s pure therapy right there.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Or “purr therapy” as mom calls it.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah I think I have some of him. Most of those would be on an Ipad I have that I broke the display on. The Ipad itself still seems to work, it makes noises and such, but I don’t have the doodad to pry it apart and see if I only disconnected the display or if I borked it up good.

            I think this is the best one, about four months into his fur loss my roommate was convinced he was dying and had me take a lot of videos just in case. Here you can see he has lost a lot of belly fur and a deal along his back.

            https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2Ojlh_V4VMybEpkOUFjN3A4WE0

          • HazooToo

            Precious baaaaaaby! Was it anxiety, or an illness?

          • Jennifer R

            Anxiety I think. His buddy died some time before and we couldn’t ever really afford another ferret, so he had to live alone. Vet didn’t think anything was wrong and he didn’t act in pain or change his ferret ways or anything. The book wanted to suggest it might have been alopecia universalis, which is apparently a thing ferrets can develop.

          • HazooToo

            That was it!!! I was trying to remember if there was a thing that did that. But yeah, my biggest ferret came down with an ulcer once and started grinding his teeth constantly, we had to give him half a prilosec ground up and mixed with peanut butter.

          • Jennifer R

            My roommate who had photos of him on her old phone would tell co-workers we had a naked molerat.

          • HazooToo

            XDDDD Poor baby!

          • Panika MCD

            the ferret cage we made (3 story; 5′ X 3′ X 2′) had a drain pipe wrapped around it for them to crawl through and they would hide their favorite toys in there as well as take naps in there.

          • HazooToo

            Our cage was about the same size, but was filled with cuddle-spots instead of tubes. We let them out to play around the house a lot! This proved to be a very bad idea for things like our sofa, our socks, carpets in corners, and anything made of particle board.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            are they house trained? (Or more preferably, do they come that way?)

          • HazooToo

            I got Marshalls’ ferrets. They are sold fixed, and they kiiind of have a natural urge to scoot into a corner to poop, and in the pet shop and prior, there are little litter boxes in the corner. So they are semi house trained, but you do need to be vigilant and follow up. If your ferret backs up against the litter box, but not into it, you may need to trim the front edge to allow them an easier entrance.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that’s good – better than those damn hamsters who used to poop all over the place.

            TX mom says that’s why we got cats – they have the decency to be ashamed and hide their poops. All teh cats we’ve had – I’ve literally never seen one in the yard – only the litter box.

          • Jennifer R

            Hamsters are rodents and rodents don’t actually have control of their excrement systems. Also you never had a cat that thought it was the dominate animal, cause they will absolutely shit everywhere.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            fair point – and not to mention old/sick. I wasn’t living here when one of ours was old and was just going everywhere.

          • HazooToo

            I’m going to be going Dog, because yard, and I’m so tired of litter boxes. But absolutely, cleaning out a ferret box is easier than a cat box, because much tinier poos!

          • Jennifer R

            If you get them from a breeder they will be mostly house trained probably. It helps to get corner shaped pans to put in corners they try to go to repeatedly though.

      • Panika MCD

        their jaws are not strong enough for that, but this must be a person who has never had a ferret to baby proof their home. if the ferret can get it, a baby will also.

  • Shibusa
  • Jenny

    I can’t wait to hear about all of Turd Burglars sacrifice for the people because he has to live in the White House which is a downgrade from Trump Tower.

    • Just wait until the tea tards find out the bill for supporting not one, not two, but THREE white houses!

      • Suttree

        If only. That only makes a difference when a black man plays golf.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Sadly, they won’t care. They make some lame excuse about why this is OK that amounts to IOKIYAR

          • Not the purists XD You think our lefter than lefts are rabid?
            Purists get MAD about paying salaries to government workers (including their elected officials!).

    • phoenix00

      And he has to take that old creaky dump of coach class Air Force One to commute like the normal peoples. Sad!

  • Shibusa
  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Treg Brown

      This is genius.

  • MΩebym
    • TJ Barke

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • Courser

      If the label fits…

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Orange Anal Cyst is my new name for trump.

      Add it to the list!

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Correct it? They got it completely right the first time.

    • phoenix00

      One anal cyst among many Fucks Noos anal cysts.

    • The best typos are the ones that are completely 100% accurate.

  • Courser

    Holy crap! I have over 13,000 upvotes! I’ve never bothered to check!

    Thank you, folks! I had no idea, but I’m glad you feel I add something to the conversation.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      It’s because you’re smart and funny, and gosh darn it, people like you.

      • BosGrl

        We really, really do!

        • Courser

          Aw, thanks.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Here, have another! Soon upvotes (or some other sort of popularity-measuring metric) will be the only valid currency. And Dear Orange Leader will be the richest of us all. (Alternate Fact)

    • Alan

      Alternatively, 1.5 million.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Jenny

      Ok I don’t care for sucker punches, but I do appreciate alternative hugs!

    • Treg Brown

      I’ve watched this close to 200 times and never tire of it. American’s have a longtime tradition of punching Nazi’s.

      Thank you.

    • Alan

      Very timely.

    • Jennifer R

      You know what? I will be honest.

      That antifa guy needs to learn how to throw a fucking punch. And hit the goddamn heavy bag some too FFS. Don’t love tap him, crack his glass jaw.

      • tomamitai

        It almost looked like he was trying to do a fake “movie punch” but hit him with the back of his forearm.

        • I keep thinkin it was a queefer set up moment.

        • Jennifer R

          Some people are suggestion it was staged.

          • The fact that he claims to now have a black eye when he wasn’t hit near the eye is a bit… questionable…

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Dammit, Getty! Don’t know know a Senator when you see one! Jesus!

    https://twitter.com/JoannaSimkin/status/823189530597584897

    • shaar dula

      holy molly.

    • Jenny

      Gosh and people wondered why women marched?!

    • BloviateMe

      And women go thinking equality hasn’t been realized. Imagine that.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        We do get these funny little ideas into our cute little heads sometimes. It’s probably hormonal.

        • BloviateMe

          I wish you ladies would try to control it, it makes us menfolks uncomfortable. When we notice.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Well, girl. Duh.

      • shaar dula

        well girl, its 2017 and this can’t be “duh” no more.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Lady/Lord/FSM/random atoms in the universe – after yesterday, it better not be.

    • Hey now be fair, there are like 90 senators, how is a reporter person who covers Washington supposed to know 90 faces and names????

    • Daisy

      Oh my fucking God, seriously?

    • suziq

      Nuh uh, that is a lady. Senators are white men aren’t they?

    • phoenix00

      That’s not the REAL story.

      What is the REAL story, you ask? John McCain and Bernie Sanders standing next to each other without the internet imploding. That’s what.

  • Shibusa
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Is it possible to laugh people out of power? Because, in that case, I think we might succeed in a regime overthrow.

      • Actually it is possible. Keep in mind that people will only be governed if they permit it.
        Sort of goes with the entire if the people lose confidence in their leader sort of thing.

    • MΩebym

      Inches in length of his boss’ d*ck: 1.5 million.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        You can say “dick” here! In fact, it’s encouraged.

      • tomamitai

        Nanometers, maybe, but not inches.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Number of jobs that Trump has saved so far: 1.5 million

    • phoenix00
  • IOnlyLikeCats

    OT When I was younger I danced when I wanted to do cardiovascular that wasn’t walking six miles in 80 degree weather. My nutritionist wants me to start getting more physical activity that isn’t walking six miles and I naturally thought, “Oh I should do that again” and decided Zumba seemed like a way for structure and I’m watching the fitness people teach some of the steps and thinking, “Wait, white people don’t know how to do that move? Why? Also, fitness person, why are you doing that move funny? You don’t move your feet during this move.”

    • BosGrl

      He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. (Google says that was Shaw)

    • Alan

      I go to my local CC and take a jazz dance class. Great fun and cheap. I also love ballroom dance. You don’t have to go to exercise, you can still go to have fun.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Robbery gone bad kills one, wounds 7 in San Antonio.

    Story: Two guys tried to rob a Kay Jewelers in a mall. The robbers were confronted by two “good Samaritans”. One of the robbers shot and killed one of the citizens who intervened. The second citizen pulled out his concealed weapon and fired, wounding one of the robbers. The second robber then fled, firing wildly into the crowd as he ran.

    • Jenny

      Ugh. Lovely. Also too won’t they be sad to find out the Kay jewelry isn’t worth as much as they charge.

      • Alan

        Take that $1000 diamond to the pawn shop and get $50 if they want it at all.

        • Jenny

          Right? This guy is going to get the death penalty for junk.

    • Jennifer R

      The difference between A hero and An hero is slim.

      • Scrofula

        Hey, keep your 4chan memes off the Wonker. Although it is wise enough adage I will let it slide.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      It’s so nice to hear of responsible shootouts now that we can all carry guns around. Just think, they could have gotten away with property and all it took was one human life.

    • Wait so good guy with the gun did NOT stop the carnage????
      But but but….
      Fucking morons. You give the fuckers the things and let the police handle it, FFS

    • TJ Barke

      It’s almost like reality is messier than the movies…

      • WomanInTheResistance

        What heresy is this?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Hey, how was he to know the bad guys were allowed to shoot back?

          • WomanInTheResistance

            And actually hit a target?

      • Jennifer R

        When I was a kid, I was actually very surprised that people would get mad, sometimes violently so, if you pointed out life is complex.

        • TJ Barke

          That’s just liberal propaganda. Our Dear Leader, Der Trumpenfuhrer will make it simple for us.

        • Scrofula

          Like with the religious.
          I say, that’s right–we’re on our own. No, shit happens. FOR NO REASON.
          People lose their shit thinking about an empty uncaring cosmos.

    • MΩebym

      NRA wet dream.

    • beingreleased

      Clearly this didn’t happen when Trump was president because, oh wait….

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        didn’t he say the carnage stopped here and now on Friday?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Every kill begins with “Kay.”

    • Rick Hill

      That’s the thing. Most guys with a gun are going to take what they want and leave. The only time bullets fly is when some yahoo plays hero. We had that happen 35 years…er, a long time ago, when I worked at K rogers. Guy with a gun held it up, took the money, left. No one hurt. Now the damn store has an armed guard walking around and I can see them being the nervous type that lose their shit and people die. Innocent bystander type people

      • Not to mention, when they ACTUAL Leos arrive, you are suspect #1 because you are armed.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Life is not Quake. Deal with it.

          • Scrofula

            I don’t know, there’s some demons emerging . . .

  • memzilla Ω
    • SNOORRRRKKKKK
      Think pirate is my favorite one. Right next to Mnuchin

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      That is amaaaaazing.

    • data_ninja

      Ha, I was JUST about to post this. Nice!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    So remember yesterday when Trump said he had been on the cover of Time Magazine a record of 15 times and how that record will never be broken?

    The New Yorker piece one of y’all shared says, NOPE!

    Time told Politico’s Playbook that it had published eleven Trump covers—and had done fifty-five cover stories about Richard Nixon.

    http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/trumps-vainglorious-affront-to-the-c-i-a

    • BosGrl

      Lawrence had the former editor of Time on last night who said Drumpf isn’t even in the top 15 or something.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Trump lied? How uncharacteristic.

      • gaybymml96

        Bring me the fainting couch when he does tell the unadultered truth.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, I know pointless, but I feel like noting each and every one…these examples are needed when we get into conversations with trumpanzees.

    • That’s entirely too much Dick, Time!

    • Juan de Fuca

      His offical bio on the White House website claims that he authored 14 books. The actual number of books written by Donald Trump? A number that’s probably closer to zero.

      From the whitehouse dot gov site:

      An accomplished author, Mr. Trump has authored over fourteen bestsellers and his first book, The Art of the Deal, in addition to being the #1 book of the year, is considered a business classic.

      From the guy who wrote The Art of the Deal:

      https://twitter.com/tonyschwartz/status/644304700884582400

      https://www.whitehouse.gov/administration/president-trump

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol…he lies about the stupidest things…based on all these we should assume any number he spots is 75% smaller.

        • Juan de Fuca

          Yup. And his entire bio on the White House site reads like it was copied and pasted from his campaign website – almost word for word.

          Throughout his life he has continually set the standards of business and entrepreneurial excellence, especially with his interests in real estate, sports, and entertainment.

          Oh really? Like Trump Airlines, the USFL, Affliction MMA? The Taj Mahal? That yacht you bought and had to sell to a Saudi prince because you needed money fast, before it got repoed?

          • Nah! The Trump administration just cut and pasting something figuring no one would notice? That never happens!

          • Alan

            Why the hell is that even on the white house website?

          • gaybymml96

            “I don’t know how, I just don’t ask”.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Trump’s (undeserved) ego I suspect.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Because it’s Trump? That’s all I’ve got.

          • phoenix00

            Melania’s merchandise is also for sale on the WH website.

            Don’t get why either.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      /eyeroll what a putz! His pathetic narcissistic lies are so damn easy to refute…

  • Nounverb911
    • BosGrl

      This is awesome. I don’t think Tiffany would stand that close to her stepmother, though.

    • MΩebym

      Puzder might bail.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Not in the style of Jacques-Louis David, but pretty good.

  • Rick Hill

    It occurred to me today that some countries which have very severe winters(*cough*Russia*cough*) might imagine that the planet getting warmer to be a benefit.

    • TJ Barke

      Yeah. They do. Actually and factually.

      • suziq

        And sadly.

      • Rick Hill

        Well, not that they’re actually investing in any course of action that might bring that about. I mean, interfering in our elections is just craezy talk.

    • Nounverb911

      And another added benefit is Mar-a-Lago being washed into the ocean.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/09092b4e59ec582ffb59cd6deb69600b14348f3ffd0bca129329eabe5da732b8.jpg

    • tomamitai

      Turns out there’s a downside, when the permafrost melts and trapped gasses cause this to happen: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a668dd89c0fc9cecbe207d8896a0c442ed91fde7cfbc01a3f933b765a8e3f420.jpg

      • Rick Hill

        There’s a whole list of downsides but, as canny as Putin is, he’s not the brightest dictator on the block.

      • Panika MCD

        the gases also contribute to the feedback loop because most of it is methane. it also too contributes to coastal erosion.

      • Scrofula

        And that’s not a puddle in the middle.

    • beingreleased

      If you live on permafrost, spending half the year in a marsh might not be a good thing.

      • Panika MCD

        if you’re in a marsh where there was permafrost, you’re no longer, by definition, on permafrost.

        • Scrofula

          Ok, then Hemifrost.

          • Panika MCD

            I believe that’s just called “frost”.

          • Scrofula

            Work with us here.
            Half the year, frozen, half the year, half-frozen.
            AKA Canada.

          • phoenix00

            The Canadia where I’m at is drenched in rain instead.

          • Scrofula

            That’s the half-frozen part.

          • Panika MCD

            I’m sure your scientists would disagree as much as my AK ones.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        I read some science-y articles that melting permafrost sickened reindeer with anthrax and other deadly known and unknown pathogens may be released. It also releases greenhouse gases. Global warming is scary.

    • A_Changeling

      It can be bad for crops if they start growing too soon and then freeze. Bad for flora and fauna, not sure if Russians care, but they do eat a lot of wild mushrooms and berries etc. (like we do) as a tradition and because they can’t live on their salaries/pensions. It also brings extreme weather of other sorts. And when you’re used to snow rain and sleet is terrible. Of course there are upsides too, but I haven’t heard anybody cheering.

      • phoenix00

        Th€ ch€€r$ ar€ from all who profit from $hort-t€rm gain$.

  • gaybymml96

    http://www.vox.com/identities/2017/1/22/14347710/men-womens-march?utm_campaign=vox.social&utm_medium=social&utm_content=voxdotcom&utm_source=facebook

    This is pretty awesome.

    Favorite quote from the article

    Mike Child was another proud feminist male marcher. His sweatshirt read “Feminist AF,” and he told me, “In general, I think that white men don’t do enough shutting up and listening, so that’s why I’m here today.”

    YASSSS!!

    • Suttree

      There are a lot of us out there! Some of us are quiet though.

      • gaybymml96

        We’re here – and hopefully will grow into a more vocal group.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Some of us are still learning how to STFU.

        Yes, still a work in progress. Why do you ask?

        • Suttree

          Hehe! You have a strong beautiful woman who will teach you right, Jonny. We already know that you’re a great guy, you don’t have much to change. :) BTW 22 days until Lizzie and I are together for 1 year. I’m still all chocked up about you two! May you make each other smile, and laugh and cry.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Some things happen just in time. I was starting to go feral… :-)

          • Suttree

            Your love shines brightly from 5000? miles away. :)

  • BosGrl

    Pats 27, Steelers 9, 3rd Q. Sorry :(. Ex is watching it on my big teevee. Go ahead and spew your hatred.

    • Suttree

      I lived in New England for 8 years and always hated the Pats. It’s almost as bad as rooting for the Red Sox or the Yankees. thhhhhpppptttttt!

    • Juan de Fuca

      After watching the way Atlanta’s been playing, New England is going to have their hands full in a couple of weeks. I really thought the Cowboys would’ve gotten by GB last week but was more worried about Atlanta and for good reason.

  • Nounverb911

    Breaking! The contents of Melania’s ‘gift’ to Michelle have been revealed.
    https://twitter.com/AJemaineClement/status/823333912910794753

    • BosGrl

      Seriously cannot help feeling bad for her.

      • Me either :/ I mean, I understand- Not condone, purists, don’t be rash- but can understand her life choices. And they ARE choices which is supposed to be what we’re all about.
        Plus I think she will be shortly replaced by the next model. Global humiliation.

        • Rick Hill

          Nah. Not me. She’s the “I’d rather cry in the back of a Mercedes than laugh on the back of a bicycle.”. She made her bed and she has to lie in it.

          • Oh no doubt, consequences being what they are and all that, and I do believe in that.
            But I can still feel for those who land in those consequences when I sees em comin

    • phoenix00

      Did Michelle also check for messages in invisible ink? I’ll loan her a hairdryer.

    • The Turmps gave Michelle her 2008 speech back.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’ll just say this once. Fuck the New England Trumpriots.
    Okay. Back to whatever you were doing.

    • Most of the country is becoming a Falcons fan as we speak.
      City of John Lewis…I can live with it

  • MΩebym

    This little old lady is counting on us.

    https://twitter.com/KING5Seattle/status/822969272905437184

    • I AM NOT CRYING! YOU ARE CRYING!

      • gaybymml96

        DAMMIT WAS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT THE COUNTRY ELECT A LADY VAGINA-HAVER AS PRESIDENT?!

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Alan

      No shit. I thinks it’s absolutely ridiculous that someone has to sue.

    • gaybymml96

      You know what – I might actually be thankful for Bill Clinton’s stupid wandering dick for once.

      Thanks to that – we’ve got Supreme Court precedent on how a President can’t be granted immunity…

      • jowgajen

        Current Trumpian strategy is to just claim various laws don’t apply to him.

        • gaybymml96

          That’s true.

          And now I’m sad again – DAMMIT.

        • phoenix00

          Or Newt Gingrich claiming “we need new laws”

      • Scrofula

        This is how dictatorships actually start–the courts say he MUST be deposed, and he refuses.
        Then what? Send police in to get him? He has his own security . . .

        • He can’t refuse. If he does, he basically quits

          • Scrofula

            He can refuse. Just like he refused to release taxes and sell his businesses. Hiring family members. What’s been done?

          • idk if this is on the same level though. Tax releases were, it appears, a voluntary traditional thing. The sell businesses is shady but they are working on that, same with the relatives.
            But refusing an order by the Supreme Court of the United States violates his oath of office. That he just took.
            And violating the oath of office is grade a grounds for dismissal

          • Scrofula

            So he delays appearing for his deposition. Congress majority R so they don’t find him in contempt. More delays. More delays . . .
            This is how this shit begins.

          • Jenny

            I think that’s where we come in. Could you imagine huge marches outside Paul Ryan or McConnell’s home or office? Not the Capitol, their private offices and homes.

  • Nounverb911

    Putin mistake Computer glitch grounds United domestic flights
    https://twitter.com/chicagotribune/status/823346527565467648

    Actually this is real if any of you are supposed to be flying now….

    • BosGrl

      Well. This “American Experiment” was fun while it lasted.

      • hm. slavery, jim crow, suffrage, civil rights, vietnam, corporate corruption, electoral corruption, robber barons, pinkerton riots, needless proxy wars, President Orange no dick….
        Actually, it really hasn’t been fun, has it?

        • BosGrl

          No, it’s damned depressing, I guess.

    • phoenix00

      Unf. First Delta, then Southwest, now United.

      Should JetBlue, Alaska, and American be scared yet?

  • gaybymml96
  • Panika MCD

    does anyone have the version of this that has the commentary on how zooming out to gather more information to provide context may be helpful?

    http://wtperspectives.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/6-or-9-300×259.png

  • gaybymml96
    • shaar dula

      Dear Ms. Rodham. kindly please get back to play. We need your experience and wisdom. thanks.

    • MΩebym

      I love seeing tweets from Hillz. (Some people want her to go away, but fuck them.)

      • gaybymml96

        There’s one more from today!

        https://twitter.com/hillaryclinton/status/823324013984415748

        You built this, Hillary. <3

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          I tweeted her the pic of the Santa Fe marchers with her big cardboard self.

          • gaybymml96

            That was quite beautiful.

        • Shoto

          “Fake News!!”

          — Donnie Drumpf, Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Goebbels-Conway.

      • shaar dula

        ya great idea it is. throw Hillary under the bus, and with her the wisdom of years of yeomans service and fundamental understanding which things are important and how things work.
        I maintain, she had the balls, what she lacked was the penis. if she had that, people would have fallen over themselves to pledge allegiance to her.

        • MΩebym

          What Americans have failed to see is that Hillary was such a force to be reckoned with, that some incredibly powerful organizations spent decades trying to destroy her. Trump may bluff and bluster like a tough guy, but Hillary IS tough in a quiet, understated way.

          • Courser

            Oh Hell yeah.

    • Tallmutha

      Yes, Madame President!

      • BosGrl

        ::sobs::

    • Shoto

      Yes we do, and that means contacting your rep and senators on a regular basis.
      (202) 225-3121

      Learn it. Know it. Live it.

    • phoenix00

      AOT,K!

  • Michael R

    I’m posting this because …
    If I had to look at it so do you

    https://s23.postimg.org/8aaotxf2j/barbara_bush.jpg

    • gaybymml96

      BAD MICHAEL BAD.

      • Michael R

        It was a long week , I was bound to crack

        • gaybymml96

          There, there. *pats back*

          How about you take a look at more awesome signs from the March yesterday – that might help?

    • Daisy

      *blinks* What the fuck?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • Alan

      Ummm….

    • Jennifer R

      This looks like it is the start to a Bill Hicks piece.

    • Shoto

      “If I had to look at it so do you.”

      Seems fair.

  • Nounverb911
    • What the hell is going on in the sportsball photo?

      • Nounverb911

        He’s wearing a ‘cape’ over his pads and uniform which makes him look like the Hulk, only less green.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          even then, I think there’s a bit of photoshopping going on – the proportions are all wrong.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            p.s. Compare his head to the helmets behind him.

          • The ratio of head to helmet is right- remember, this year they added all sorts of interior padding and such in the NFL’s brave fight against brain injury. The helmets are bigger than they are in HS and college where you’d think they too would be fighting a brave fight against brain injury, but surprisingly not so much

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            There’s not as much money on the line with the kids.

          • BloviateMe

            Oh Christ not this again.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol…sorry, sorry.
            It’s a funny tweet, i’ll leave it there.

        • also, smaller head

      • BosGrl
  • Nounverb911
  • gaybymml96
  • Nounverb911

    New ‘March on Washington’ being proposed for April 15, Tax Day to protest Trump not releasing taxes.

    https://twitter.com/sadmonsters/status/823298584409997312
    https://twitter.com/BeauWillimon/status/823333558781693952

    Beau’s tweet is in seven parts, click on his linky to see the rest.

    • Shoto

      Hopefully, we will have driven him from office by then, but it’s still a good idea to plan for it just in case.

      • gaybymml96

        Uhh, let’s keep it anyhow. The replacement ain’t exactly a Gandhi or a MLK, ya know?

    • Panika MCD

      I like it. before, people were saying monthly, but quarterly sounds much more doable.

    • suziq

      April 15th is a Saturday this year so that works out-even better because of that taxes aren’t really due until the 18th. In case there is anybody out there that waits until the absolute last minute.

  • aktlib101

    The only thing that can make the Orange Trumpenfuehrer to have a semblance of legitimacy is for some horrible thing to happen where Americans die (other than Iran, who else can they blame stuff on, China?), and Retardicans to claim “patriotism” in face of adversity. Just like they did after 9/11. Chimpy was otherwise a joke, just like von Clownstick. I am really concerned that it is about the only card they can play.

    • They will play it. They are predictable as fuck.
      The question is, will we fall for it again?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    more “yes TX, how terribly unexpected /s”

    Graham were going to be the ones to save us from the former Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson being confirmed as Secretary of State, those hopes were dashed this weekend:

    Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) and Lindsay Graham (R-SC) announced Sunday they will vote to confirm Rex Tillerson to be Trump’s Secretary of StateThe confirmation of the former ExxonMobil CEO is now all but certain. At least three GOP senators were needed to kill the nomination, and it’s not clear who among the Republicans besides Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) remains as a possible “no” vote.In their joint statement, McCain and Graham said they were supporting Tillerson even though “we still have concerns about his past dealings with the Russian government and President Vladimir Putin.”

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/01/mccain-and-graham-announce-support-former

    • gaybymml96

      It’s only natural that they show flashes of humanity before reverting to their zombie-forms.

    • Suttree

      More GOP portraits in courage.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        when liberals have to pin their hopes on marco rubio and two POSSIBLE repubilcans, we know we’re screwed.

    • phoenix00

      “Their concerns were allayed with a generous investment in their congressional districts”

    • Panika MCD

      maybe they’re trying to fake out McConnell by making it look like it’s safe to vote and then having the three above named vote against just to fuck with everyone. hey, a girl can dream.

    • Shoto

      Cowardly party hacks falling into line. I’m thinking their offices should be given a call tomorrow.

  • Nounverb911

    Donnie and Comey now planning their make-up sex….
    https://twitter.com/richardhine/status/823275097909817344

    • Panika MCD

      “You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”

      hope he remembered the Tic Tacs!

  • Vincent Ricola

    I just got off the phone with my beloved and elderly Iowa mom who packed up her “fuck Trump” sign and drove to Omaha Nebaska to march with my auntie yesterday.

    She said there was at least 13,000 there – lots of older people and farmer-types – which is goddamn unbelievable for a smallish red state.

    These Trump fuckers have no idea the beast they’ve awoken.

    • gaybymml96

      My hope is these folks STAY AWOKE FOR EVERY ELECTION.

      • They might, but they have to be kept engaged. That is key right now

        • Vincent Ricola

          Personally, I saw lots of networking going on yesterday, and I think people are finally realizing that it’s time to organize organize organize because our strength lies in our numbers.

    • BosGrl

      Love and gratitude for your mom!

  • Treg Brown
    • BloviateMe

      That’s such a fucking perfect picture.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        Says volumes about trump’s character.

    • gaybymml96
      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        trump’s like, “bro, why you making me look bad?” You know he was thinking it.

      • MΩebym

        The best kind of shade.

      • The best part of this is the reaction of the ladies- both of them are absolutely used to this behavior from their husbands

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          melania’s smile looks like when a pretty lady gets into an elevator with me.

          • efoveks

            You have a point in that she doesn’t look at him like she recognizes him. Secretly, she probably wished she didn’t. ;)

        • efoveks

          Wow. The Yam looked at his wife like she was bleeding from her whatever was unclean. For the next four years, I think I’m going to be majorly creeped out. Yay. One more thing to look forward to.

          Almost forgot: #MAGA

      • A_Changeling

        The soldier(?) seems kinder to Melania than the D. Can’t she keep him? Maybe she’ll have some nice secret service guys in NY while D is busy unpresidenting in DC.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          marine, I believe.

          • A_Changeling

            That’s a big faux pas, isn’t it? I’m gonna leave it and see…

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i don’t really know – i’ve never made it, lol. I just know some people will..uh…make that distinction.

            I only replied cause you had the question mark, not being crappy.

          • A_Changeling

            Yep, I’m just looking for a fight. I think we call them all soldiers except the navy. That would be a merijalkaväen sotilas (Finnish is kind of like entish, takes a long time). But I got thrown out of the army after a couple of months on the day I became a seaman,so I don’t know much. I did want to be in the navy :(

          • But I got thrown out of the army after a couple of months on the day I became a seaman.

            I read this utterly wrong the first time.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i’m a military kid, so army=soldiers, navy=sailor, airforce = airman (despite gender), and ‘m not sure what coast guarders are.

          • Slackers!

          • BloviateMe

            I’m not sure what Coast Guarders are either, come to think of it.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i *think* is guardsman or coast guardsman, but I have no idea why.

          • Courser

            Coasties

          • BloviateMe

            Marine, Airman, Soldier, and (giggity) Seaman.

          • A_Changeling

            I could never say able-bodied seaman with a straight face (I was a merchant marine for a while, ordinary seaman, not able-bodied :( )

          • Courser

            Meh, maybe to some. I should pay closer attention now that my nephew is a Marine. But generally, I think the military you see around the First Family are Marines. Embassy guards are also Marines, FYI

          • Courser

            Bwahahaha! Yup, that’s about the size of it!

    • Shoto

      That’s seriously fucked up, but not surprising.

      “Hey Mel: Make me a yooge taco bowl after you get all that crap out of the car.”

      — Orange Man-Baby Preznit, Classiest Preznit in the History of US America.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “Melania who?” – Honest DJT

    • I love the side by side one where Obama waits for Michele and takes her arm.
      Mostly because I love them so

    • Nounverb911
      • Treg Brown

        Even a child knows good manners. God damn that’s embarrasing

  • Panika MCD

    POLL – notice a theme tonight?

    if there were an Off Broadway musical called “Putin and His 7 Dwarfs”, who would be the drawfs and who would play all 8? (feel free to just propose one. but you’ll have to drink and then pour one out for me!)

    • BosGrl

      The obvious choice for Sleepy is Ben Carson.

      • Jennifer R

        GMTA
        Pence – Doc
        deadbeat donnie – Happy
        Melinia – Bashful
        Carson – Sleepy
        Flynn – Dopey
        Bannon – Grumpy
        Milo – Sneezy

        • I was gonna suggest KaCa as Grumpy and Bannon as Sleazey.

          • Jennifer R

            KaC is a traitor and gets nothing.

        • Panika MCD

          I was going for naming the people who were Putin’s tools and the actors who would play them, but this is a fun direction. can you separate Bannon out and do a set of dwarfs for him?

          also: wouldn’t Rex-T, Man-Fort, ASSange etc. be more Putin’s some how?

          • Milo can be Spanky!

          • Panika MCD

            poor sad Milo will have to play Spanky himself because neither his first pick, Channing Tatum, nor anyone else would play him.

  • TundraGrifter

    I made mushroom soup Friday night. It was cold and rainy outside and we needed comfort food.

    Pot roast tonight.

  • Treg Brown
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      OMFG.

      • Treg Brown

        I know right. I was fucking shocked.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          apparently trump thought that guy was literally “the help.”

      • The Librarian

        I’ll follow this with wtf???!!!!!

    • MΩebym

      DICK.

    • gaybymml96

      WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

    • BloviateMe

      I watched it a couple times, and he held his scepter (or whatever the hell it is) in his right hand, and didn’t make eye contact with butthole mouth. I think butthole mouth was the one who got dissed. Makes me happy.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i rewatched it and tink you may be right – the guy switches the scepter to his right hand right before passing.

        Who’s doing forensic video examination now, huh? ; ) Kidding!

        • BloviateMe

          LOL, touché!

      • Treg Brown

        Have to agree. And I’m happy as hell.

      • yyyaz

        President this, Mr. Lowgrade Dipshit~

      • MΩebym

        You’re right. Still, Trump didn’t even seem to acknowledge him.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m sad that he didn’t put that long votestick to use.

    • Jenny

      Welp this will be on the alternative facts brief for tomorrow.

  • Why are you people not talking about SOUP? This post INSPIRED me! Cuz my wife sent me out earlier today for some Campbell’s Chunky Chicken Noodle and there it was on the counter waiting to be de-canned and heated up an then I read THIS POST and immediately went to the store for some chicken and potatoes and mirepoix (that’s fancy chef-talk for onions, celery and carrots) and then I was all chop chop and cook and cook and before you could say “Trump Sucks” we had delicious yummy Chicken Veggie Noodle Soup that was not from a can (I added some handfulls of egg noodles because).

    So we at the Chasm household thank Wonkette for planting the seed that became tonite’s dinner. Now shut up and go make soup like Wonkette says.

    • BosGrl

      We had Campbell’s today but it was the kind in the red can. We do not have souls at Chez BosGrl.

      • BloviateMe

        I’m uncivilized as hell. The only soup I really dig is just that, the super cheap Campbell’s chicken noodle with the slimy noodles.
        Delicious.

        • gaybymml96

          Same. Campbells’s Cream of Mushroom soup with old ramen noodles in them.

          Guilty pleasures.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            but not the ramen seasoning, right?
            I may have to try that.

          • gaybymml96

            I have – but once. I think my tummy didn’t like it. :/

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos