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OH HI WONKERS HI! It is time for your first top ten list of the new year, where we count down the top posts of the week for you, because we are nice like that. But first, just watch the video above, of Michelle Obama’s last official speech as first lady. She cried, we cried, you will cry, but it will be in a good way, and by “good” we mean bittersweet, because we’ll never have another like her, and also because literally in two weeks, our first lady will be Ivanka Trump and sometimes Melania if she’s not already filed divorce papers. HAHA YOU ARE CRYING NOW.

We will do the top stories in a minute, but first, HEY DONATION PARAGRAPH HEY, will you donate us moneys? Will you throw $5, $10, or $25 at our faces? Seriously, if you are able, then pull out your wallet and throw money on our face! OW, OW, THAT IS OUR FAVORITE! Anyway, you can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. OR you could just do one of our “ad-fewer” subscriptions, where you only see glorious in-house ads, from our actual friends, instead of yucky-nasty ads.

Look, it’s the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who requires love offerings:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!

1. Elizabeth Warren and her pals introduced a hilarious bill, just to screw with Donald Trump’s Richie Rich cabinet picks.

2. Sad! Kellyanne Conway is out there panhandling for her own salary! Weak!

3. Surprise, Edward Snowden didn’t leak that stuff because he was a hero, he leaked because he was being a fucking millennial who was mad at his boss, awwwwww.

4. Unceremoniously knocked up Bristol Palin got pissed off about a thing.

5. That lady what went on the racist rant at Michael’s in Chicago “broke her silence,” about how she is tired of being discriminated against for being white.

6. Why won’t the Democrats hate abortion and gays a lot more? This idiot asked. We answered.

7. Donald Trump said he was going to tell us all about the secret 400-pound hacker who hacked the election, in a non-Russian way. Guess Trump was lying about that too.

8. Guess the children of the Trump family aren’t even ALLOWED to swing on swingsets, or play tag, or experience joy.

9. Wingnuts cannot believe how California just legalized child prostitution, probably because CALIFORNIA DID NOT DO THAT.

10. And finally, this nice British singer lady says she’ll perform at Trump’s inauguration, on one hilarious condition. (The CONDITION is hilarious, not the song, for Twitter’s information.)

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories, according to Beyoncé!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

Thank you for following our orders! Now you get Wonkette Toddler Child Baby pictures!

dr1 dr2 dr3 dr4 dr5

K BYE!

Love,

Wonket

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  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    That babby is the cutest thing ever. I do want to know more about the plant-dirt-white-carpet shot though. Obviously Donna Rose heard the noise when the plant panicked and tried to escape, and arrived on the scene in time to appear to have been involved. But I feel sure she was innocent.

    • therblig

      i blame the bunny. good diggers.

    • memzilla Ω

      The resident black lab set her up.

    • Thaumaturgist

      If you don’t have film, she didn’t do it.

      • SterWonk

        <voice type=”Bart Simpson”>I didn’t do it. No one saw me do it. You can’t prove anything.</voice>

    • azeyote

      looks like the – stuffed lamb? – did it and paid the price –

    • Ghenghis McCann

      A big boy did it and ran away. (Traditional Scottish kid’s explanation.)

    • eggsacklywright

      Obvs, the plant roots experienced some sort of inner turmoil, and acted out.

    • doktorzoom

      Did the plant fall, or was it pushed?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Wonket’s top ten list is so loud it should go up to eleven. Just sayin’

  • baconzgood

    The one of wonkbaby with the potted plant is a a metaphor for this country in 2020.

    • Suttree

      We’re gonna need a bigger potted plant! (to hide behind :))

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yup, dumped the dirt and then cried about it.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    When Barry leaves office and no longer has nukular weapons or SEAL Team 6, I’m totally going to ask Michelle to the prom.

  • Suttree

    Holy hippie Donna Rose! My squee needs to go away. I don’t like babbies! Except for the Queen of course!

  • Bozilingus

    Why did the bunny dig up all that dirt from the plant? What is she trying to HIDE??

    • msanthropesmr

      Benghazi.
      Emails.

    • baconzgood

      When Hambone was 3 we had to move all the potted plants up higher because he ate all the dirt out of them. I don’t know why.

      • Shan

        Pica. He needed extra minerals, maybe?

        • Doug Langley

          Gotta get your minimum daily requirement of vermiculite.

          • Shan

            I read it in books when I was preggers that some docs are ok with dirt-eating as long as it’s not from outside. I’m happy I only craved beets, which also taste like dirt but come conveniently packaged in sterile containers.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Canned Beets are really nasty. On par with Canned Clams.

          • theCryptofishist

            You MONSTER!!!!!11

          • Shan

            I know. I ate them anyway. Ugh.

          • nightmoth

            You know about white dirt? Preggers women in the South ate white clay. Some still do.

    • C4TWOMAN

      ♫”…And what’s with all the carrots?

      What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?” ♫

      • Shan

        Hahahaha!

      • SterWonk

        I award you all the Internets for today the whole damned weekend!

        • C4TWOMAN

          Thank you. I will use them well and wisely.
          =^-^=

  • Nounverb911
    • RC

      xxx

      • Tinadalexander

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ur214c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !ur214c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash504MarketBlogGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ur214c:….,….

    • nightmoth

      I dunno—bluebird libel? Oughta be a carrion-eater.

      • Naytch

        Seagull from Finding Nemo. “Mine? Mine?! Mine!!

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Love Photo #2: let us all share a tear with Donna Rose for the death of the rain forest.

  • Tallmutha

    Words of wisdom from Josh Marshal: “There’s nothing crazy about being skeptical or disbelieving intelligence analyses. What’s clear in this case is that if there are good reasons for skepticism, they have nothing to do with why Trump insists it’s not true.”

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Bad plant! BAD BAD BAD plant. It’s all the PLANT’S fault. Or maybe Mr. Bun. But definitely not MY fault.

    –what DR is saying.

    • msanthropesmr

      She’s not a republican. Take that back.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        I love DR, but at that age ALL babbies are Republicans. It’s the ones that never grow out of it that cause all the problems.

        • Tallmutha

          Not all babbies are Republicans. But all Republicans are babbies.

          • theCryptofishist

            And where do iibertarians fall in this scheme?

        • efoveks

          They grew out of their “cute” and now they’re holding on to all that remains… :)

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        All toddlers are Republicans. Make a mess, get someone else to clean it up.

  • RC

    little wonk baby is a doll. She’s so cute and I know she’s going to grow up to be a molecular biologist or some shit to save us all. Maybe when she can work with OHJ and cure cancer.

    • Painter of Goats

      If biology is still legal in the future.

      • RC

        Is that the truth. When GW was president I wanted a bumper sticker that said “welcome to the dark ages.” who knew it could get worse.

        • eyelashviper

          the Dark Ages look good, we are now approaching a Black Hole.

        • Republicans, showing us how it can always be worse since 1968!

          • RC

            that should be tattooed on everyone of their butts.

    • Doug Langley

      I once wrote a magazine article on Robocop III. They gave me a copy of the script. In the scene where the woman scientist is introduced, it said “Note: she is more beautiful than needs to be.” I would bet serious money that line is in every damn Hollywood script with women scientists.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Case in point – Tara Reid is a scientist in Sharknado 2 (or 3?, they run together).

      • Jamoche

        No takers on that one – there’s a Twitter feed collecting them:

        https://twitter.com/castingcallwoe

        How about “Lead actress needed for a film about feminism. She is moderately attractive”?

      • SterWonk

        That was Jill Hennessy, AKA Claire Kincade from L&O.

        Looking at IMDB, there were a surprising number of good actors in that movie. (Aside: Holy crap, Robocop himself was played by the same guy who plays the squad’s Internal Affairs arch-nemesis on SVU.)

  • msanthropesmr

    DR likes bunnies. Maybe she can grow up to win the popular vote.

    • Nounverb911
      • Suttree

        IRL I have been chewing on an apple and the little critter chews like I do. With similar aplomb and joy.

      • eyelashviper

        Stealing this…
        We all need to find our comfort food..

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I think we should follow DR’s example and wear a helmet for the next 4 years.

    • msanthropesmr

      It will assist with the headdesking.

      • Painter of Goats

        Finally a good use for my old riding helmet! *stomps out to barn*

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      I hope to curl up and sleep with a bunny for 4 years, but I think it is illegal in my state.

    • Courser

      I have two climbing helmets so I’m ready to go!

  • memzilla Ω
  • Rouge Skwerl!

    Because of the resistance dollars I received the other day, I am woking on some rubber stamps. *cough Wonkette bazaar makes some cough* I like the “Resist Trump”, but maybe even more powerful will be a “Resist Putin” as it names a common enemy, and implies the GOP are puppets.

    Thoughts?

  • Tallmutha

    So Glenn Greenwald is spitting fire on Twitter at people like Jonathan Chait and David Frum for saying Trump is unique among presidents in his disdain for civil liberties. He says “Bush-era civil liberties abuses & dissent-quashing were targeted at Muslims, which is why you think it didn’t happen.” Which is a fair point. Except that he’s using it in defense of Trump and Putin.

    • C4TWOMAN

      There’s a whole sleazy underbelly of supposed anti war, anti Bush people speaking out against persecuting Muslins Muslims for the 9/11 attacks, but only because they want to blame Isreal/Jews. I’m not saying Greenwald is one of thse people, but I think some of their propaganda has started to infest his material.

    • So….it is ok because Bush did something similar?
      OK then!!!!!

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

    Nice babby, but Y not moar pikchurs ov yur DOGZ? Kiri sez they nice dogz. Wkae me up when there ar pikchurs of dogz. zzzzzzzzz…..

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2cec3f3c22b291bd823047e56a71931bfd968c538aa4114627f6e1adeee79bfd.jpg

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      Good dog. Looks like the playing of noisy music will be prevented for the duration of nap time.

  • Suttree

    My camera refuses to do justice to the beauty of the snow here right now. It is calming and fluffy.

  • Mike Steele

    Evan: If ‘in a good way’ you mean with a profound sense of loss. Lady MS here. That woman is so bright.
    so beautiful, so forthright and generous of spirit that it makes the mob family about to enter our House seem even more vapid and venal. Of course, there may come a way to depose them, but the Pence clan is even scarier in a passive-aggressive, self-righteous Christian sorta way…

    • RC

      Yea, it’s hard to be DT in scary but Pence…..man what he would do to anyone who isn’t straight and white and male gives me the shivers.

  • Michael R
  • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

    That first picture, did DR learn that expression from Mommy by any chance?

    • Suttree

      Editrix does not do duck face! That is a face of disgust at Joe Scar.

    • Tallmutha

      Isn’t that Wonkette Niece?

    • rebecca

      that is “nose face,” and she’s been doing it since she was born, and it is HILARIOIUS.

      • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

        So it’s hard-wired into the babby? So cute.

  • eyelashviper

    That evil potted plant, looks like a Schefflera (the most wicked), had to go and throw dirt all over the carpet again…. Lock it up!
    Thanks for the unending supply of DR photos, such lovely memories of my munchkin when she was just a tot.

  • shivaskeeper

    I would have thought DR could have blamed the dogs for setting her up re: the potted plant + dirt + carpet.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Silly, she’s crying because bunny is dirty. Forever Unclean.

      • shivaskeeper

        The dogs got the bunny too? Oh, the humanity.

  • Suttree

    The googles do nothing!!!! I cannot find the picture of Michele one L hiding behind the potted plant. This will have to suffice. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7c3bd3c62a47da2077354abb857cee6eef5ac72f745f44cf369d4f6fe8e33fc4.jpg

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Dear Wonkette, Will there be a recipe today or will I have to settle on KFC carryout and embellish with some exotic hot sauce?

    • eyelashviper
      • Painter of Goats

        I don’t have any kale or Portuguese in the house. And I don’t feel like shopping.

        • eyelashviper

          Try anything green or cruciferous ( not the potted plants) and add lots of garlic….maybe garbanzo beans, whatever lurks in the pantry or fridge…

      • Suttree

        /ffs I have been sitting here drinking and watching the snow. I forgot that I have smoked ham hocks and split peas that need cooking!

    • Suttree

      I have not tried it yet but it sounds interesting.
      http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2013/02/banana-ketchup-recipe.html

    • BosGrl

      I’ve been eating leftover cannolis and pizza rolls, but that’s just me.

    • The Wanderer

      Hmm! It’s a fine old Baptist downpour outside, and supposed to be quite chilly tomorrow. Bean and ham soup, methinks, with homemade biscuits. That should stick to the ribs nicely.

      • nightmoth

        Venison chili here. The promised huge snowstorm missed us, but it’s still cold and wet, and I’ve already soaked the beans overnight.

    • rebecca

      I was going to post Pinkham’s beef wellington tomorrow, but I guess I *could* do it today

  • The Librarian

    1) Dirt on the carpet pic made me lol, but the look on babby’s face broke my heart.

    2) First Lady is a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul and beautiful words.

    • Shan

      Babby is upset because she got her bunny dirty. My son is 20 and still sleeps with the stuffed polar bear my uncle gave him for his 2nd birthday and I remember my boy being that upset when he puked all over Bobby the Polar Bear. Has been washed since, yes.

      • The Librarian

        Not embarrassed to admit that I still have my teddy bear, given to me when I was 6 months old. Siblings and spawn also got love out of Ted. Has a place of honor in my room.

        • Shan

          My son also has his dad’s bear, Bruno. I let my kids keep all their heart-toys. My mom tossed out all my dolls and stuffed animals when I was 11 or 12 claiming they were diseased.

          • The Librarian

            :(

          • msanthropesmr

            But they became real animals, just like the Velveteen Rabbit. They are currently frolicing in the forest.

          • Shan

            I have that hope. Especially for my Raggedy Ann doll. I drew a vagina on her.

          • LucindathePook

            You’ve made Raggedy Andy very happy.

          • Shan

            That’s presuming my Raggedy Ann wasn’t gay. I was a little queer as a kid.

          • theCryptofishist

            Well, maybe she found other Raggedy Andys or teddy bears or Steiff Owls or purple puppys or Raggedy Anns to play with.

      • Suttree

        I love all of my stuffies and I’m 40. Although I am here, so I might be weird.

  • The Wanderer

    ” . . . He dismissed differing opinions . . . and refused even to consider them except as objects of ridicule. If his opponent was wrong in anything, he was wrong in everything . . . In this spirit, he used words like ammunition, to annihilate opponents, often by the crudest ad hominem assaults on their integrity and motives.”

    Who is being described? Special no-prize if you guess the correct answer.

  • Rasilom

    Good God. I really hope my kid is half as cute as the wonkababy. We are trying for a kid this year, and damn it Rebbica you have set the bar so damn high on the cuteness meter I am praying to Thor we can compete. I always look forward to these photos and I love them. Keep up the good work and know we all love you and yours. Fight the good fight and I will be buying the game after my next paycheck (yes I know I will be waiting until you get back from your trip to recieve it but thats ok). Keep up the fight and love to you and your’s.

    • rebecca

      if you are trying to have a baby, I am going to have to insist you do more sex.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Not necessarily. Back in the olden days of 1990, when EX-H#1 and I decided to have a babby, the doctor said that it can take as long as a year to get pregnant. Unprotected sex, normal twice a week schedule, I was pregnant in six weeks. It was scary. I wasn’t on BC pills due to issues. What if a condom had broken and spermicide had missed a super swimmer?

      • Suttree

        Can Wonkers still have sex, even if they don’t want one? In approved apparel of course!

        • Tacoclamgenda

          Um, no pants rule?

          • Suttree

            Wonkette brand t-shirts of course!

      • Rasilom

        This I can do XD!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Trust me, one’s own progeny is always the cutest. Ask anyone.

  • bookish

    NBCNews: Ethics Office and Trump transition.

    http://nbcnews.to/2imCyuX

    The perils for White House staff were even more severe, Shaub argued, because they might begin their jobs without crucial ethics guidance, raising a risk of inadvertently breaking federal rules.
    “They run the risk of having inadvertently violated the criminal conflicts of interest restriction at 18 USC 208,” Shaub wrote, citing a federal conflicts law in an email to Trump Transition aide Sean Doocey.
    “If we don’t get involved early to prevent problems,” he added, “we won’t be able to help them after the fact.”

    • Shan

      Whatever happened to “ignorance of the law is no excuse”?

      • msanthropesmr

        It is for rich white people.

      • It’s ok if you’re a Republican!

        • Shan

          But of course.

    • Markuserektus

      They’ll all be working for a dollar, so one can’t expect much.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      “we won’t be able to help them after the fact.”

      You know, I’m OK with that.

      • theCryptofishist

        Just so long and we can indict, convict, and imprison them.

  • Rouge Skwerl!
    • THAT ONE

      • Rouge Skwerl!

        Ordered.

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      As a bumper sticker, please!

      Star Wars was never mah thing, but this works on several layers. Bravo.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Just to be clear, I SAW white fluffy bunny dig up the dirt from that plant and get it on the floor. My client Wonketgirl should not be held responsible.

  • Bill Slider

    Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, it’s off to camp we go. Did someone say it was the Democrats, not the Russians, that hacked our election attempting to influence it?
    Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, it’s off to camp we go. Did someone say it would be nice to buy Wonkette playing cards? Yes, they might help pass the time as we huddle in our bomb shelters for the next 10,000 years awaing for the radiation to blow into another solar system. Or, we can play cards as we wait for our number to be called for camp: Spy camp, Conversion camp, Freedom of religion camp, Freedom of assembly camp, Freedom of the press camp.

  • Doug Langley

    Oh god, what happened to that potted plant? Not sure I want to know.

    Reminds me of one time I visited a friend’s place. His 3 yr old son – sweetest thing you ever saw – wanted to play. “Let’s play dinosaur!” I had a picture of the kid gnawing my leg off or whatever, so I had what seemed a smrt idea. “Okay, but let’s play herbivore.” “What’s that?” “It’s an animal that just eats plants.” So sure enough, he runs over to the potted plastic plants, rips them out, and starts gnawing. “Grr! Grr!” Good grief, did it make a mess.

  • shastakoala

    I wouldn’t be concerned unless DR ate the dirt, other than that I would consider it her first foray into the science of Environmental Studies.

    • ahughes798

      It’s no big deal if a kid eats a little dirt. It’s probably good for them. Resistance to disease and all that. Kids are pretty much raised in sterile environments these days, which sounds like no fun at all.

      • BosGrl

        I was always a big believer in the 5-second rule!

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        Dirt’s great – it’s the additives I don’t care for.

        • Bitter Scribe

          “They’re treating me like dirt. I’m better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. Not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff’s loaded with nutrients. I can’t compete with that stuff.”
          –Moe of The Simpsons

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Commercial potting soil has all sorts of crap in it, however.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Ah, that plant pic. Do you realize that there are parents who don’t drink?

    • Suttree

      And then don’t laugh when that stuff happens!

      • theCryptofishist

        But can we really call them parents, as opposed to genetic doners who are raising a child so they have someone with a soul living beneath their roof?

        (I apologize to any Wonkers who grew up in a household traumatized by alcohol abuse. Yes, I like to say snotty things. But I know edgy has a sharp side, and I don’t like to force other people onto it.)

        • Suttree

          Before you even posted I was thinking about my childhood and why I will never have children. He wasn’t a drunk, he was just mean. We have achieved a peace over the years, and he is truly a different man now. Motherfucker is like Gamera! He is friend to all of the children! *pours drink and looks behind waiting*

        • Jamoche

          “Paternal DNA contributor” is the nicest name I have for that person. (Not alcohol abuse, just general Trumpy assholeness).

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    Saturday in the Wonk,
    Think it was the fourth of July
    Saturday in the Wonk,
    I think it was the Fourth of July
    People snarkin’, people laughing
    Donnie selling wet dreams
    Singing Russian songs
    Dasvidaniya, Comrade Putin
    Can you dig it (yes, I can)
    And I’ve been waiting such a long time
    For Saturday

    • Sister Artemis

      Most excellent, sir!

  • BosGrl

    Just walking around the house thinking about the state of our planet and saying “Fuck oh dear”.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Or you can say…..no need to clean, we’re fucked. (oh dear)

      • BosGrl

        True! Let’s let the bathroom go back to nature…

    • Suttree

      I try not to do that. I just went and put the split peas on boil, and chopped veggies. Mmmmm smoked ham hocks.

  • Picabo

    OT. The grifter keeps on grifting. Just when I think things can’t go lower. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e95c4c9b6f6a87dcc500a306a6b0266d477f8de4db0e8dea687aa08da9f0f7ab.jpg

    • Suttree

      Yay! I now know who’s drink to slap out of their hand.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      The grifting will never end.

      • theCryptofishist

        This is the grift that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends…

    • theCryptofishist

      I am so not getting one of those for my morning coffee.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Well, maybe they’ll donate the proceeds to charity.

      I figured we could use a good laugh.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I’ll tell you what – if I see any of those in my crazy Uncle Bob’s cabinet… well, accidents happen.

      • theCryptofishist

        Drop them extra hard. Boro-silicate… wait, it’s probably something cheap like window glass and squeezing them is enough. Never mind.

    • Kooolest G
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Branded inauguration stuff is par for the course. Everybody does it.

  • theCryptofishist

    So, do Trix and Shy post all babby photos to the secrit chat cave and then Evan selects? Or do they just pick the ones they want and Evan must work them in in an appropriate way?
    (I do like that one with the plant. If she’s anything like me she’ll keep doing that for another 35 years or so.)

    • Suttree

      Yes.

  • Suttree

    So I have then peas on the stove, and my veggies are cut. It is still snowing and I have the windows open. If it happens to drop a few inches, and I get drunk enough, I will go frolic after my soup is done.

    • BosGrl

      I wish I was a good cook…

      • Suttree

        It is not that hard to do! The only thing that takes any sort of skill is seasoning (yes and process too). The easy way out is to just saute a bunch of veggies and meat, throw some creole seasoning on it, sit back and drink for a couple of hours, and serve.

        • BosGrl

          I have all those things. I’ll try it this afternoon :)

          • Suttree

            Yay! It will make you happy and warm inside! Share if possible. Smooch!

          • Hellhathnofury Demme

            Plus, it helps if you WANT to do it.
            My mom hated cooking, and her efforts showed it.
            However, I loved it!
            My parents paid me 50 cents to make dinner.
            A labor of love for me, and no odious chore for mom.
            Win, win!

          • BosGrl

            That’s awesome and a great idea! I used to like to cook. These days, if I can get out of bed and get dressed it’s win win for me :) But it’s good to eat fresh food so I’m going to make an effort.

          • Hellhathnofury Demme

            I wish I could come and cook for you!
            It must be pretty cold if you are in Boston.
            Here in San Francisco, it’s just rainy. As an ex-New Yorker, I laugh at the rain.
            (I used to meet with a Boston guy here, and his dog, Fenway, at the dog park.
            My dogs, Yogi and Rookie played with Fenway all the time.
            As a Yankee fan, Mr. Fatale was appalled!)

          • BosGrl

            Ha – there is a dog downstairs in my building named Fenway. Come to Boston in the spring! We can go to the real Fenway :)

          • snark-lurker

            She Who Must Be Obeyed [here] loves to cook but burns stuff (smoke detector is the dinner bell hear) plus &also too she donut like cleaning up

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I’ve always been a decent cook, but was afraid of baking. So one New Years Resolution I decided to bake something every week (or more) all year. Turned out, wasn’t that hard, I just let myself be intimidated.

        The good news is, unlike when I was a young thing, there are many many options for outsourcing delicious meals for not much money these days.

      • Sister Artemis

        I am becoming a better cook, have my moments, but very much still learning.

        One of the best cookbooks, a tool, really, more than a set if recipes has been James Beard’s Theory and Practice of Good Cooking. He organizes the thing by type of cooking, not type of food or meal. He goes through WHAT you’re doing, why it works, what will fuck it up, and so on. Really one of the best books in my cookbook collection.

        It helps to have the right tools, too. Watching carefully at the thrift stores and sale tables, I’ve acquired a pretty decent set of cookware – nothing a professional chef would crow about, but better than the average kitchen. Lots of triple clad stainless, a couple of good cast iron pans, a couple of calphalon pans for when sticking to the pan is not a good option. It helps, and a good set of knives is next on my list.

        • RC

          I just did a Amazon search for JB’s book and it does look good. I’m not a half bad cook but I’m always looking for the hows and whys. I got Amazon gift cards for xmas from my son who knows me so well. I think I’ll add that one in. Thanks for the tip.

          • Shibusa

            See also: Craig Claiborne’s ‘Kitchen Primer.’

    • msanthrope

      Be careful out there! Maybe drop some breadcrumbs along the way so you can find your way back.

      • Suttree

        The trail of empties always leads me home.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          I want this on my gravestone.

          • Suttree

            Haha! Dammit! I didn’t think of that! Ok, I have already decided to be cremated and ashes spread, you get the headstone.

      • snark-lurker

        wear’s Mister today?

  • Arse Grammatica

    Black dog lurking.
    Yummy dirt on the floor.
    Tired toddler.

    • snark-lurker

      Black Dog Lurking is teh name of me combo-band-group
      we got a song starts out “black dog lurkin in the middle of the night,”

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    So, I am wondering of the aformentioned Elizabeth Warren bill may be hinting at the beginning of the first season of Legislative Snarkery by non-RWNJ legislators. If so, that would be great.

    • If they do nothing else for the next four years, they should mock the Republicans constantly!

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    People are already selling the Russian MAGA hats on eBay.
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/122301388448?lpid=82&chn=ps&ul_noapp=true

    • mfp

      yaaassssssss!!

  • snark-lurker

    omg wonkette babby is an hoar-de-culturister

  • Carpe Vagenda

    The woman on her right with the headband was trying so hard not to cry. I feel her.

  • mfp

    life is beatiful once again….baldwin trolling trump with ‘make america great again’–in russian!! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fcff768758487053383d7a8148b9f7f7ec665e1a042ff82c3b392739e9c80130.jpg

  • Tiny kaiju

    So how did the potting soil get on the carpet and why is Donna Rose upset about it?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Well see, that was this monster and and….it came in and did it!

      • Begin Anew Day

        I used to blame the commies.

        • wavicles

          Thanks, Putin!

  • Lesser Tiffany

    Oh wow, my House Rep Blumenauer (he of the bicycle pins and bow ties) isn’t attending the inauguration.

    http://www.kgw.com/news/rep-blumenauer-to-skip-trump-inauguration/383393183

  • Trexit Trexit
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