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Mr. President, we must not allow a memecraft gap!
Mr. President, we must not allow a memecraft gap!

Now that the Obama Administration has expelled a bunch of Russian diplomats for pooping on our carpets and elections, the Russians have responded, not by throwing out a bunch of Americans, but with dank memes calculated to have the same effect on American morale that the Trump Flying Monkey Brigade has with its relentless trolling. However, it would appear that Russia’s early efforts are the work of rank n00bs, not L337 haxxors. Still, intelligence analysts warn that it would be a mistake to assume the West can sit back and relax in the meme wars, as the Russians may be able to field fully weaponized memes within the year.

The first example deployed was this rush job from the Russian Embassy in the UK, which, while it contains an image and a word, barely even counts as a meme:

russian-lame-duck-tweet

CIA technicians, noting that the quality of the pun “didn’t even rise to the level of that Wonkette Chicken post,” disassembled the Russian meme in the main lab at Fairfax, Virginia, and were astonished to find it was powered by vacuum tubes:

russian-lame-duck-vacuum

Following that crude initial effort, a second example from the UK Embassy quoted Russia’s Ministry for Foreign Affairs (MFA) and included what appears to be a simulacrum of a political cartoon, only minus the funny:

russian-boomerang-tweet

This one’s a puzzler — we get the idea that somehow “Anti-Russian Sanctions” printed on a boomerang is supposed to suggest American sanctions will come back to hurt the U.S., but the metaphor is confused — a skilled boomerang thrower is able to hit the target or retrieve the weapon without injury, especially if he’s the Feral Kid from The Road Warrior. The clumsy choice of clipart is also confusing: what do the moon and Ayers Rock have to do with American sanctions? Is Russia suggesting Australian complicity in a cyberattack?

A third sample from the Russian Embassy in the UK isn’t even a meme, really; it’s just blah-blah invective:

russian-hillary-tweet

Talk about a Russian hack! We have taken the liberty of improving this one a little:

russian-hillary-lolwut

The most sophisticated meme attempt so far has been this example directly from the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs:

russian-minus-35-tweet

There appears to be an attempt at a “Cold War” pun, as in the “duckling” meme, but if the intent is to chide the USA for needlessly reviving the Cold War, the darker, threatening implication that despite the expulsion of the diplomats, and the sanctions on Russian intelligence agencies, the Russian spy network is “still at work” undercuts the “we are but simple diplomats” message. Deliberate ambiguity or inept messaging? No telling. And why the photo of the U.S. Capitol with a Russian flag out front? The Russian Embassy doesn’t have a direct line of sight to the Capitol. Are they supposed to be taking over, perhaps with the assistance of a battalion of Australian boomerang flingers? Definitely a mixed and ineffective message.

In short, the Russian attempts at trolling are presently weak sauce, but we must remain vigilant. It is unknown, for instance, whether the Russians have yet discovered the power of Pony memes.

scootaloo-murder

fluttershy-u-mad

oh-look-a-pony-640

[Independent / Inverse]

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  • mackafritz

    If they didn’t know about Pony memes before, they do now. Thanks a lot.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Well, they tried upping the meme power – but their equipment just couldn’t handle the strain.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0c5a8e39279fd6202ac264f43f6716f9daae9df30199fbba047dc8943134df8b.gif

  • Ezio Auditore

    There are parallels between Putin, Trump and King Sombra from MLP.

    What? I don’t watch it or anything. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    A third sample from the Russian Embassy in the UK isn’t even a meme, really; it’s just blah-blah invective

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/93f1b67132de7b5c742468f820bb2bf2bdf00dbc1d5e52dd4c52f37c8a4286a3.jpg

  • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

    I don’t know much about the daily activities at an embassy, but I feel it’s safe to assume they have vital work to do, and whoever took time to make and post nonsense memes might be better suited to a position in their Mom’s basement.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Didn’t Putin outlaw memes in Russia a few years back?

    • doktorzoom

      I knew I’d forgotten something. But it was only illegal to depict people in Internet memes “that depicts a public figure in a way that has nothing to do with his ‘personality.’”

      So no Sad Keanu or screaming Donald Trump. Actually, the latter might be OK on the basis of accuracy.

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        So, they were aware of mimetics since then?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I only remembered because Tumblr tested this (with Putin memes, of course) and Russians were really, really upset they couldn’t see them.

      • theCryptofishist

        Also, no Catherine the Great and pony memes.

  • mancityRed6

    oh Dok, (have I ever told any of you that my mom’s dad’s nickname was Doc? I guess Ninian was too much of a mouthful),
    you make me feel so all special (and sometimes very angry) on the inside.
    Happy new year. I love you.

    • mancityRed6

      Ninian Bornsback Daniels for all you others out there.
      Belly gunner for the air force, then a lunmberjack, then a farmer.
      Both of of my grandfather’s were man’s men.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It is unknown, for instance, whether the Russians have yet discovered the power of Pony memes.

    I’ve got one for them:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e32fb8d0d333d6bc9e8bd9fd717caa87e01bf6b7c5b3676d05e3ffd0e7f1a16b.jpg

  • Groundloop

    “Deliberate ambiguity or inept messaging?”

    не может это быть как?

  • memzilla Ω

    Jeebus Hop-Scotching Christ On A Blini, I’m so old, I remember when if a US president PRAISED THE RUSSIAN PREMIER, HE WOULD BE FUCKING IMPEACHED faster than you could say Alexander Solzhenitsyn!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7cb59d543d503800f10c6fd72bbddd837d14d65c5008404bc364348a29313ee4.jpg

    • Martini Ambassador

      LOCK HIM UP!!!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      That’s actually not all that fast, because I can’t really say “Alexander Solzhenitsyn.”

      • Doug Langley

        You weren’t around when The Gulag Archipelago was the hottest thing since Betty Grable.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      All these years I’ve been white-girling this expression of my people, never understanding that it was presciently created for the situation we are now in:

      I. Can’t. Even.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    So we go into the New Year engaged in diplomatic name-calling with Russia? I’m sure that will end well.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Give the quality of the name-calling, I think the word “diplomatic” can be deleted.

  • Jenny

    Does anyone else think it is weird that the Russians are like no worries your new president will let us back in!

    Like I really just can’t get over how Isreal and Russia have acted since Trump’s election. Like Trump is in charge, barely but Americans do not like being the butt of jokes. At least most of us anyway.

    • Courser

      I don’t find it weird at all. They’re gloating. Orange Shitgibbon was cultivated to be a ‘useful idiot’ for the Russian government. We have effectively invited them in the front door of the White House to begin the dismantlement of what’s left of our democracy. I knew that *before* the goddamn election.

      • Jenny

        I know that too but just in general if this had happened a generation ago? It just seems unreal.

      • JCfromNC

        Never forget, the really useful idiots were the ones that voted for Orange Shitgibbon in the first place. And who still cling to Dear Leader’s assertion that our pals the Russians couldn’t possibly be responsible for any of that rude hacking behavior.

    • Historicat

      They’re really out in the open – “we can do whatever we want, Donnie-boy has our back.” So either they don’t understand that he’ll turn on them if he feels that would get him more approval or they really do have some kompromat on him (underage sex party, perhaps?) and think the leash is good and solid.

      • LucindathePook

        I figure what they have is his name on a lot of IOUs.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Um, you realize that both Russia and Israel were in on the joke, right?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Russian gif technology may be catching up:

    https://media.giphy.com/media/sUNMO0TdifJPG/giphy.gif

  • Swampay

    Russian analysts and psy-ops specialists can perhaps be forgiven for believing that their target audience are all idiots with impaired senses of humor.

  • Ezio Auditore

    This article is true. Those “In Soviet Russia” jokes are so 2010.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Was it George Carlin or National Lampoon or someone else, the Cold War joke that in an effort to improve relations, the U.S. would send its top TV show, “All in the Family,” to be broadcast in the U.S.S.R., and in exchange U.S. viewers would be treated to the Soviet Union’s top TV show, “How to Improve Your Potato Crop by 40%.”

  • whitroth

    Hey, what they got agin’ pseudo-intellectuals? Next, they’ll be complaining about the nattering nabobs of negativism!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    EL34 libelz

  • boyblue123

    The caption on the HRC picture doesnt make much sense. The Russians must have taken word salad lessons from Drumpf himself

    • Ezio Auditore

      Well, people are saying..

    • theCryptofishist

      Maybe he did the translation.

  • TheGrandWaz00
  • elviouslyqueer

    Those Russian memes? Sad! Weak! I give them four smiling poop emojis.

  • Ryan Denniston

    We cannot afford a meme gap!

  • Ezio Auditore

    All this news about Russia over the last couple of years brings Colossus to shame.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • xy

      you jest now, but in 15 years when somebody makes “Dr Dumbfuck or How I Learned to Stop Thinking and Love the Meme” you’ll be amazed.

  • Blackest Noobs

    meme? fuck that, the Russians backed down after a bunch of tough guy talk.
    said they were gonna expel Americans and then backtracked on that.

    Geez, now we know where Trump gets that tactic….talk tough and then back down.

    • h4rr4r

      What a bunch of sissies!

    • http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_630_noupscale/57ce6d58170000f92dc77bdc.jpeg
      tbh, I think he is a wee bit terrified of the Bamz. Exhibit a.

      • Blackest Noobs

        it’s because most white people think black men are supermen with super strength.
        also Koreans are magical, just throwing that out there. psst it’s a secret too.

        • I hear that mutts make the best lovers.
          Just sayin.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Woof!…

        • Jenny

          I had a korean boyfriend once. It was ok.

          • Blackest Noobs

            he must have lost his magic. it happens…look at North Korea.

          • Jenny

            I blame Star Craft.

          • Blackest Noobs

            i am so so sorry Jenny, that fucking game has ruined plenty of relationships, Koreanly speaking.

        • Gregory Brown

          And the Koreans all have Gangnam Style.

      • TheGrandWaz00

        Putin: “Do you play basketball?”
        Obama: “Do you play miniature golf?”

      • Penny Dreadful

        I may never get tired of this image.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Ummm, Hillary won almost 3 million more votes. Your puppet has an asterisk next to his name in the history books, and little else in terms of goodwill.

    • h4rr4r

      Too bad they don’t matter.

      Asterisk or not, he will be president and Russian puppet.

      I am not trolling you, just pissed off.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Let’s just hope he’s more interested in making Trump Tower a national monument and less interested in destroying 100 years of safety net building.

        • h4rr4r

          Good luck with that.

          Let’s hope the rest of the GOP have some balls. At least the old ones should know what to do.

  • h4rr4r

    They don’t need memes, they have a president elect.

    Never thought I would see this day.

  • weejee

    Can Sarah Palin see these Russian word salads from her porch?

  • mancityRed6

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyTH4Q0FGGo&t=1390s
    its been a long year and I can’t do this by myself.

  • marxalot

    Great. Now everything is going to be done via trolls and memes, including diplomacy and probably the nuclear apocalypse.
    Why did I delete all those .gifs?!

    • doktorzoom

      Once again, The Onion saw it all coming.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Sigh…don’t they always….

  • In Putin Russia, Meme Danks YOU!

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

    They are, how you say it, uh, bottom hurt. Yes, shit of the bull. What a country, right?

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      You need to leave out the articles – Russian doesn’t have them (I only know this because I once had a post-doc in my lab from the former Soviet Georgia). “Shit of bull”, and “What country” would be more like the English he spoke.

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind for the next time. We have a Russian guy at work who says the shit of bull stuff.

  • weejee

    Is tRump working on a coal meme?

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    OH, SNAP, WE ARE BURNT.

    • Are we?
      Huh. With all the whining the right does about being burnt all up, I expected it to at least hurt and sting.

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Appreciating Rooshian humor is like a liter of vodka. No, make that, appreciating Rooshian humor requires a liter of vodka.

    • C4TWOMAN

      In Putin’s Amerika, Vodka drinks you!

      • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

        So that is why after several shots, I am spilling my guts to that imaginary KGB guy.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Shhh – Mrs. Toomush doesn’t know I’m listening..

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Isn’t it?:

        In Amerika’s vodka, Putin drinks you!

        • janecita

          Ewww, American vodka, Sacrilège!!

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            How did the French get in here? Close the Damn Door!….

          • janecita
          • Regret

            grey goose is mighty fine vodka, just not worth the price IMHO.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Bull – they sell it at Walmart…Mrs. Toomush is a fan…

          • puredog

            Chopin is as good or better and a little less pricey. Me, I’m for Luksosowa and Monopolowa (spuds, doncha know).

          • Incoming Ham

            French. Vodka.

            Not a fan of this and love vodka

      • True story: The Fins invented Vodka.
        The Russians merely perfected it.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    I mean, you just can’t expect a bunch of ignorant peons to understand memes!!!!

    (no offense Mr. Ambassador)

  • Prismo87

    Maybe I need more vodka with my memes.

    • h4rr4r

      Sure, if you want to be a stooge of Putin.
      Go get some real american booze.

  • mancityRed6

    so, can anyone tell me why I cry like a baby to this song?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hgVeNjYiGo

    • Thiazin Red

      We have a NYE tradition of watching the millennium concert every year. If I ever had a time machine, I would totally use it to score tickets.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Lerv the Manics

      • mancityRed6

        this song, and fuck it, I weep. I don’t really care what it’s really about, I weep.

    • Gregory Brown

      Guessing: You were with someone, and it was “our song.” ?

      • mancityRed6

        no, it was the song after i knew it was over.
        maybe that’s why it hurts so much

      • mancityRed6

        she hated his voice. I loved it. take that as you will.

        • Thiazin Red

          Good riddance then!

          • mancityRed6

            I’m still working on that.

          • mancityRed6

            you don’t even know.

    • Regret

      fukken SME won’t show this to me for some fukken reason related to imaginary lines on a map.
      Go die in a fire filthy information limiting assholes!

      • mancityRed6

        manic street preachers, the everlasting.
        it has made me weep, before and maybe during the ex making me so.

  • Daisy

    The UC Berkeley kids can show them how it’s done!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I hear North Korea is also stepping up their hacking game. Here’s Kim Jong Un trying out the new DPRK laptop: http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18ir476zicywojpg/original.jpg

    • Jennifer R

      Look at that late 90s trackball.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        The newest prop in the photo

        • Jennifer R

          When my dad died in 2003, one of the things we dug out of the garage was an item called an “armature growler” and was used by the army for maintenance on model T trucks. He bought it surplus during an auction at some point in his 22 years. It looks just like that case they are calling a computer.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        That’s the ICBM launcher, silly….

        • Blackest Noobs

          actually when that button is pressed is when another enemy of the state is shot with a 30mm cannon…usually a satirist or cartoonist who made jokes about Dear Leader’s hair-do

        • Jenny

          I interpreted that as Italian butter cream launcher. Sometimes I don’t read too goods.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Clearly, you have misread the Irish Cream Biggie Mama button…

          • Jenny

            Irish or Italian treats. Mmmmm.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Ladies and Gentlemen! ASCII pr0n!!

        • Jennifer R

          Maybe we could slip copies of Leisure Suit Larry in and sabotage them that way.

    • Fartknocker

      I’ll take “How Many People Does it Take to Update Windows 10” for $100 Alex.

      • Jamoche

        Close – the trick with Win10 is convincing it *not* to upgrade.

        • doktorzoom

          Oh, god, don’t get me started. Or infinitely restarted.

        • Incoming Ham

          They will have to pull windows 7 out of my cold dead hands.

    • Doug Langley

      “Observe, Dear Leader! You push the button and the Flying Toasters take up the whole screen!”

    • boyblue123

      Looks like an old file cabinet with a keyboard attached

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        I was thinking it was an electric piano.

    • Me not sure

      LABEL : TO BE READ UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH!
      THIS COMPUTER BECOMES PORTABLE WHEN LIFTED BY A TEAM OF MEN BY THE STURDY HANDLES. IF DROPPED PRISON CAMP ENSUES.
      DEATH TO AMERICAN MONSTERS!
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d5a4c7c6330fb48bb1cef15a6dcee0a6ff3774f0f46d5fd744cfca0b31d3416.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “And then, when this long piece starts to fall, you have to rotate it using the F2 and F3 buttons, so that it fits down here. Got it?”

    • BoatOfVelociraptors
    • therblig

      “GRetings, 1’m am nIgER14n princ3 w1th much mAny M0neys”

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Meh. You should see the battery that goes with that thing.

  • janecita

    A generation ago, Trump’s love of Russia would have meant political suicide. Today, those same people that lived through the cold war are Trump’s supporters. Irony, how does it work?

    • C4TWOMAN

      My brain is still reeling from this political whiplash. Maybe its a sekrit weapon to make leftists collectively freeze in their tracks: “Bu-bu-bu-but you HATED the Russians! Does not compute! Does not compute!”

      *head smokes from melted circuits*

      • janecita

        I doubt it, those people have the collective brain power of a turnip.

      • Courser

        Yes, yes, Fucking Goddamn YES! This is *exactly* how I’ve felt since 11/9. It’s like some horribly fucked up version of reality. The world has taken on a definitively dark cast in the last year. It literally feels like I’m wearing sunglasses as the time. I’m sure it’s just me, but it’s creepy as fuck. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do when I think of it in those terms. And I really try not to because that’s just like every dystopic scifi/fantasy thing I’ve ever read. And for all the mental ‘what-if’ games I’ve played in my head, “You wake up one morning and some ancient horrible malignant spirit or curse and darkness came over the earth.” was never one of them.

      • They hated the Russians until the Russians got themselves a dictator friendly to people with lots of money.
        Now they love them some mother Russia!

    • Courser

      I lived through the fucking cold war and my dad was in Intelligence during the Korean war. I’m honestly surprised I have stroked out about this. Well, there’s the weed. And Christ, I need to cut way the fuck back on the weed. I’m turning into goddamn airhead even when I’m NOT high. Or maybe I’m always high, but in any case no bueno. Fuck me.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Did you leave the door open?…

        • Courser

          No, it was more that I was playing cards with friends on Christmas and I made a number of really bonehead moves, one right after another. And I ran out of gas on the way home (my gas gauge hasn’t worked in forever, but I know better) and I’ve locked my keys in my truck twice. In the last 6 months. So no bueno. Weed is dandy, but when I start fucking up even when I’m NOT high? Not to mention being 58, I need to consider future cognitive decline. Basically, I need to stay mentally sharp and too much weed kinds of makes that more diffiicult.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Yeah, better be careful or you could turn out like Gary Johnson.

          • Courser

            Exactly, I can’t let that happen. I think the person who was my partner during the card game was a bit concerned when I was so dumb. Which is why I didn’t call them when I ran out of gas. That’s what AAA is for.

          • theCryptofishist

            So, AAA called them.

    • Blackest Noobs

      well no duh cuz most of them simpletons are poorer than dirt white folks.

      • therblig

        they think reagan turned russia capitalist, so now they’re just a friendly rival and/or business partner. like england.

  • TJ Barke

    I’m sorry, Donald isn’t doing much to disrupt the status quo. He said he would, to win over simpletons, but he’s just appointing every industry and insider hack he can find into his admin…

    • Ezio Auditore

      Nothing says “Donald Trump is an anti-establishment candidate” like a cabinet full of big oil and Wall Street Insiders. Maybe pharma bro will be the head of the FDA, too.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Not even the Gambini family could have stacked an administration with more louche opportunists.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        So does this mean that the Commies Soviets Russkies are in the pocket of Big Capitalism, or the other way around?

        • theCryptofishist

          It’s the last scene of Animal Farm.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            One leg good. Three legs gooderer.

          • theCryptofishist

            Three legs double plus gooderer.

    • oh idk, pretty sure the status quo is way fucked when the finish privatizing medicare and get rid of that pesky freeschooling and minimum wage thing not to mention those environmental regs that hurt our jerbs so very much.

      Kinda doubting that the folks that kept screaming about the status quo are really gonna like getting what they asked for ^.^

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        good and hard….

      • theCryptofishist

        But they were too stupid to see through those glaring transparencies. Will they have the wit to vote against them at the mid term?

        Sorry, I’m feeling a little glum.

        • starfanglednut

          No, they won’t. And the worst of the changes are going to be timed to take effect after the midterms.

          I’m glum too, I guess.

    • Nockular cavity

      Kinda gonna fuck up the status quo when he stumbles into a nuclear war.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Crossing the rubes ‘n cons.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    To quote Jim Sterling, “Is this memes?”

    • TJ Barke

      Thank god for him.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Is our memes learning?

  • OneYieldRegular

    We were never being boring [to death]
    We had too much time to find for ourselves
    And we were never being boring [to death]
    We dressed up and fought, then thought, “Make a meme.”

  • boyblue123

    Ah how times were different for Drumpf when Putin wasnt helping him win an election and wasnt trying to blackmail him.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/450731150865338368

    • theCryptofishist

      Disinformation.

  • Gregory Brown

    One of the Russian troll bozos went on an extended rant the other day on a comment board concerning the CIA and FBI conclusion that Russians hacked the election by declaring that 19 U.S. agencies including “the coastal guards,” are all saying that, but it’s a lie. The idiot had a shot at looking like a Trumpanzee, until that moment when he tried to smear our elite “coastal guards.”

    • Daisy

      And all the troll had to do to get that one right was listen to “The Adams Administration”!

      • theCryptofishist

        Oh, I think that Gomez and Lurch might be a little “off” to the Chekists.

    • boyblue123

      The coastal guards actually work with climate change scientists. They keep an eye on the coasts to see if sea levels are rising then warn the scientists about it

      • Courser

        Also too, the Pentagon itself has been studying Climate Change and have listed it as a threat to National Security. These are things I find very interesting. Maybe those were the ‘Substandard’ Generals that Orange Shitstain was talking about.

      • Gregory Brown

        And then the scientists call the Coast Guard.

    • Beanz&Berryz
      • aktlib101

        Do you have a picture of the Russian version?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          They weren’t the Russians, in the Red Suits?

          • theCryptofishist

            Enbiggen those logos to see the Hammer and Sickle.

  • Mary Sandoras

    Dah, humerus bone is shorter in Russians.

  • aktlib101

    I can’t believe the Orange Fuckface praised the modern reincarnation of Ivan the Terrible for showing “restraint”. Is there nobody in that new Cabinet of Deplorables to bitch slap him into oblivion? And the Retardicans are praising him/them for “strong leadership”?? What happened to that party that claimed to be “yuugest” at defending America’s interests from communists and tyrants, while waving patriotic flags all the way to their bathrooms; and calling everyone else a commie and lefty and (the horror…) intellectual?

    • Blackest Noobs

      well anyone with two working brain cells knew all that patriotism anticommunism crap was total and absolute bullshit….just another way to make the public do what they want cuz the public is pretty damn gullible and stupid as fuck.

    • janecita

      To be fair, Putin is a right wing oligarch. He fits right in with Trump and his entourage.

      • aktlib101

        Heh, sure, but where did our “Freedom Flags” go?

        • theCryptofishist

          Stolen by the French?

      • Querolous

        Kleptocrat or Oligarch? Discuss.

        • janecita

          I would say that Putin is an oligarch, and Trump is a would be kleptocrat. What do you think?

    • OneYieldRegular

      Amazingly, no one has yet tried to drag out a reference to Neville Chamberlain and appeasement. I guess that particular cherry-picked historical artifact got worn out by the Tea Party.

    • therblig

      i think his cabinet and the gop congress plans on working around him, not unlike the SNL skit with T-Rex and Pootie. they’ll flatter him, laugh at his jokes, and spoonfeed him ideas which they’ll then say, “great idea or yours, mr. president”. and, basking in their admiration, he’ll really believe it was his idea, and 140 characters later – that’s how a bill becomes a law. they’ll laugh all the way to the bank, and he’ll get the impeachment, or the assassination from a disgruntled trumpanzee, or the stress related heart attack when the total clusterfuck comes back to bite him in the ass and they have plausible deniability, or be rendered powerless in the midterms when even the dumbest of the dumb vote against him and democrats get their shit together for massive turnout. as long as he ends up broken and alone, i don’t care how he gets there.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Since we’re recycling old memes, I’ll do my part for the proletariat. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fbcec41d1e4e4faa0ffd4e67a094042ab9ea4eed9316b09b4797c2c85c39f565.jpg

  • goonemeritus

    True conosures still prefer the lifelike rendering that vacuum tubes produce over the harsh digital powered memes.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      I miss my vaccuum tube amp but I fail to understand how they are related to that duck.

      • goonemeritus

        Asking why is how all blaspheme starts.

    • yyyaz

      The colors are always warmer with tubes.

    • tomamitai

      Anybody else remember when virgin commies were all the rage?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I know this isn’t the OT thread, but just this once…let’s make this a thing!

    https://twitter.com/BeSeriousUSA/status/814940204377063424

  • Martini Ambassador

    I like this image enough to inflict it on you again:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/04873c6aa42e1f753726e7e3d96d76272fd52f8ead7c153403be2dc539342ec4.jpg

    You’re welcome.

  • C4TWOMAN

    You know, never watched this because I was tired of Cold War over the top rhetoric, but maybe now’s the time to see if they got anything remotely accurate:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amerika_(miniseries)

    • Courser

      Oh yeah, I remember that. I think those were my McGyver years. I think I tried it, but it was a whole lot of manufactured drama so I lost interested.

      • therblig

        i remember singing “We are Heartlanders” or something like that whenever i wanted to annoy ms. blig.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    When will America realize we stole both boomerangs and ponies from the Russians?…

  • Master Contrail Program

    What a krokodil!*

    *Huge drug problem in Russia, do not Google while eating.

    • Jennifer R

      Dirty desomorphine. Long story short, don’t inject lye.

      • theCryptofishist

        Lye injected into body politic is Trump.

    • theCryptofishist

      Krokodil Gena is okay, however.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt_JvyF93Yg

  • Blacktop Autumn

    So, while I was away I heard Donnie bent over and Putin slid his Russian wang up his b-hole.

    Trufax?

    • Jennifer R

      You just made me question my love of buttsex.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        I did that to my own too.

        • Jennifer R

          K, over questioning it. Still love it.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            Doesn’t take long, does it?

          • Jennifer R

            Well it’s buttsex. Little can permanently stain that.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            Heh, on this we are of the same opinion.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Santorum might have an opinion on that

          • Jennifer R

            That’s a hygiene issue not a buttsex issue.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Lies! American lies! ….

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
      • Blacktop Autumn

        You can’t unthink it.

      • Jennifer R

        One day, you will be with your loved one(s) and in the middle of it all, that image will spring to your mind apropos of nothing.

        • Courser

          It would make me giggle which isn’t a big problem for me, my partner might beg to differ.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      True.

    • boyblue123

      Good summary of Drumpf. Would be funny if it wasnt so true

      https://twitter.com/Wolfrum/status/814922839262367744

    • OrdinaryJoe

      El Colonelisimo Trumpo has his head so far up Putties butt he can smell the vodka on his breath.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      It is astonishing. Really. Is Trump losing it? Is the job getting to him?

    • therblig

      Put In T’Rump

  • Jennifer R

    I know we gave Russia crystal meth, but did we give them a love for opioids? I know they gave us crappy super addictive cut rate benzos (phenazepam).

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    I like Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, and a couple others. #notallrussians.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Don’t forget your overcoat….

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Dostoevksy wrote that book about Trump I liked: The Idiot….

    • natoslug

      And Stolichnoya. Don’t forget the contributions of Stoli.

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      Checkov, also too

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Prokofiev FTW!

    • theCryptofishist

      Lermontov? Shostakovich? Gogol? Rite of Spring Guy?

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Pickupendropov?

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    This is going to get interesting – even Wonkette’s trolls are no longer homegrown…

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I insist on free range, non GMO trolls.

      • therblig

        and no MSG

        or KGB

        • Unpresidented Ron

          Is GRU or SVR allowable?

          • theCryptofishist

            Okhrana or gtfo!

            Okay, Chekists might work in a pinch.

        • phoenix00

          How ’bout ISIS?

  • PixieThis

    Gee, how professional of them. Such classy people in power these days, amirite?

    • theCryptofishist

      Power and class may be non-intersecting sects.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Lenin is saying, “Finally!” And Stalin just smiles.

    • natoslug

      But is the walrus still Paul?

      • kareemachan

        Haven’t you played the CD backwards yet?

        • natoslug

          I tried, but all that happened was a very small hipster popped out of the drive and started screaming that vinyl was better and that I’m the reason the recording industry is dead.

          • theCryptofishist

            Swat it with a newspaper. And put it in the garbage–it will only contaminate the compost.

  • Vincent Ricola

    What in the hell is even happening anymore? And how can I make it stop already?

    • doktorzoom

      Nobody knows what’s happening. It’s the Age of Computer.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Was that an “Excellent Adventure” ref?

    • MilwaukeeKent
    • Reddishrabbit

      Wake up!!!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Should be big demand there. Youuuge.

    https://www.russiancupid.com/en/women/russia/brides

  • I think I miss the old days before Twitter when diplomats would bitch at (or poison/shoot/stab) each other in secret. We could at least imagine that it was exciting back then.

    These days as they get into Twitter beefs with each other, it just ruins the mystique and makes me wonder if all governments are run with the same gravitas as a third grade student council.

    • HogeyeGrex

      This doesn’t exactly rise to the Churchill/Astor level of wit, does it?

    • eyelashviper

      A third grade student council would govern far better. These idiots don’t even rise to the level of pre-school sandbox diplomacy.

    • Nockular cavity

      Spy Vs. Spy is much more lame when they’re just sending hostile tweets at each other.

      • Debrasduncan

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !st291c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !st291c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash581ShopPostGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!st291c:….,……

      • Trump is his own worst enemy. That moron needs to stop ranting on twitter and shut his big fat yapper.

        Here is what the hayseeds believe Trump is going to do.:

        1. Destroy the federal government as we know it.

        2. Get rid of a bunch of brown people.

        3. Get rid of Obamacare and watch the poor die. My previously unaffordable insurance is down to $85/month. My car insurance, from Insurance Panda, is now just $25/month. Under Trump, healthcare will be $500/month or more.

        4. Make the lives of poor kids, the sick, and the elderly worse than they already are.

        5. Drop a bunch of bombs on some colored people in some country somewhere.

        6. Cut taxes on the rich.

        Trump waffles so often on so many different issues it’s almost impossible to know where he stands on anything, except Donald Trump. He is consistent in claiming that he is a genius, a business whiz, super rich and the best qualified person in the country for the office of president, none of which he can back up with facts or figures. And Americans actually voted for this turkey.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Trying to imagine Kennan doing the X article via Twitter.

    • The Librarian

      I have nothing but undying admiration for these statements.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Ian Fleming rolling in his grave….

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        At least Le Carre is still with us. He may have some new angles to play with now!

        • therblig

          Tinker, Twitter, Soldier, Spy

  • Monsieur_Grumpe
  • mailman27

    In Russia, diplomats expel you!

  • CLASSIC MEME TIME!

    Andy Warhol’s ‘Keyboard Cat’

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2ulyJuvU3Q&t=10791s

  • therblig
  • eyelashviper

    Looks like those tweets from the Russian Whatever in the UK were written by the cleaning crew, after they finished the vodka.

    • btwbfdimho

      Basic Trumpestish, IMHO.

  • btwbfdimho

    As everybody, including American people, will be glad to see the last of this hapless Adm.

    Everybody, really?
    That line looks like written in basic Trumpesterian…Donald, is that you?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d538b9b4a43fb52f905e24d31c2dd7296a18b25a0f64c24f3029081eade14bb.png

  • btwbfdimho

    Speaking of, is this the Russian chorus that went down in the black sea? (I ask for a friend).
    If not, it may qualify for the Inauguration of the next President of the United States of Trumpestan.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F832ZZNRV0

    • btwbfdimho
      • Claire

        I was going to find a video of Sean Connery’s crew singing the Russian national anthem in The Hunt for Red October, but I feel like that might not be entirely in keeping with the spirit of the thread.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Was that the cruiser Aurora in the background for that one shot at the start?

    • theCryptofishist

      The choir usually known as the Red Army Choir, but more properly called “Alexandrov Ensemble”.
      They hit this high note: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSKSd0x4a5U

      • theCryptofishist

        I’ve been working on (for all of 5 minutes) some sort of counter volley of “We do memes so good we can reach into past and kill your choir”, but I’m not sure how to make it come together.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Diplomacy in the age of Trump…

  • Scrofula

    The revolution will not be televised.
    The apocalypse will be twittered.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      At least the start of the apocalypse will be…

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        At least the start of the apocalypse will be was
        ftfy

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I checked my calendar and it is definitely not April 1st. WTAF? Those can’t be real memes can they? I mean the Russians actually did that?

    Man, oh man! The lameness and lack of creativity of these Russians is breathtaking. Now I can see why they get along so well with His Royal Heinous.

    • Bongstar420

      They should stick to hacking and fake news…proven things they are reasonably decent at. Heck, the Goggle told me Russians are quite good with hacking actually.

  • Rouge Skwerl!
    • idiotboy

      Thank you. We already have a machinegun kitty. The are quite handy.

      • calliecallie

        Never bring a sword to a machine gun fight.

  • Rouge Skwerl!
  • idiotboy

    My only friend the end. This is so fucking weird.
    We are REALLY trying to counsel and aid two 20 somethings into their majority. Into life, making a living, respecting themselves and others while sucking butt, all the stuff real life demands, including getting health insurance.
    Am at a loss of words and wisdom. The rules changed in the middle of the game and we do not know what the new rules will be.
    “There There, it will all work out” is not an answer to very intelligent hard working young people.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Australia == Assange Puppet.

  • Mahousu

    Russia is now taking its revenge using weaponized spam technology. I’ve been getting email from some scammy “date Russian women” website for a while now, but until recently, it was rather leisurely, just one every couple of days.

    Starting yesterday at 7:24 am, though, it suddenly went into overdrive, bombarding me with hundreds of (putative) desperate women with limited English skills. At first I was getting a dozen a minute; it’s slacked off somewhat since then, but I still have an increasing mound of Katarinas, Olenas, Tatyanas and Anastasias piling up in my spam folder. I hope they don’t expect me to feed them all.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Hmm, I should check my Spam inbox at my ISP. Bet it’s fuller than usual.

    • theCryptofishist

      See if you can get the “Royal Flush” of date Russian women, consisting of Olga, Tatiana, Anastasia and Maria.

      Bonus if you get a date Russian man Alexei.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yeah, right. Like you have your own sturgeon farm.

      Do you remember back in the good old days when they actually had sites and even published books about lousy web sites?

      One of the most notorious was a Russian-based website catering to Western men obsessed with Russian lady amputees.

  • gullywompr

    Breaking: PUTIN REWARDS TRUMP FOR HIS LOYALTY TO THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TloYaUCoO-0

  • mondojohnson

    But what about the Joke Gap? I think we lost that race, given the cosmic dimensions of Russia’s recent jest.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ienp4J3pW7U

    • starfanglednut

      Best MP sketch EVAR.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      In former Soviet Union, Amerikan government subvyerted by Putin spies.

      In new Soviet Union, Amerikan government controlled by Putin spy.

      What a couple of countries!

  • Unpresidented Ron

    In related news, Princess Celestia has deported seventeen Changelings and closed their compound outside of Ponyville. There has been no reaction yet from Queen Chrysalis.

  • Kooolest G

    Say what you will about Russian meme technology, but they actually do make great vacuum tubes https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/444fe727831c6dc322f9af0ae344224a944adee9ba6eb062dc3aa3344e111e46.jpg

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Their telegraph network is first rate too.

      • Bongstar420

        Don’t they fly us to space while we give our rich people a chance to capitalize on it later?

        For being such a Shole place, I am very impressed with their cornering that market.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Solid State rules.

      Tubes drool.

      Time to step up and buy a MAN’s Amplifier.

  • theCryptofishist

    What hapless Admiral?

  • major_asshole

    Wait. Where’s the requisite story about Trumpenfuhrer twittering about how he always knew Putin was smart?

    You’d think someone would be intelligent or courageous enough (or not have their head so far up their own ass) to tell Trump “hey asshole, you shouldn’t be complementing the guy who masterminded election hacking! Maybe say ‘good job Obama’ and act like you’re a fucking American!”

    And right under that tweet is one claiming his administration will follow “two simple rules.” Rule 1 is buy American, under a picture of him wearing a foreign-made hat and a foreign-made suit. Rule 2 is hire American, as said by someone whose properties were built by underpaid foreign workers and who is married to a foreign model he hired for his “talent agency.”

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    Two peanuts were walking down the street. Und one was assaulted.

    I haven’t got time to read all of the unallowed comments, but if this one isn’t already there I’m going to have to quit you, Wonkete:

    • Incoming Ham

      Eine “salted” Erdnuss? Erzähl mir mehr…

  • AJ Milne

    (Blinks…)

    (Files under ‘fremdschämen’.)

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      Thanks for ‘fremdschamen.’ Looked it up and know a new word :-).

      • calliecallie

        Does it mean “slut shaming?”
        :-) Just hit the translator. Not so far off.

  • Begin Anew Day

    If our new leader calls upon us to create material for cyber espionage we need to be double agents.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Is Wonkette the stockpile of those doomsday memes I have heard about?

  • Asa

    The last one, by my reading is kinda… sorta… funny? If you torture it?

    I’m not reading a scary cold war thing I’m reading “Proud Russians do not fear cold, will continue working for motherland, for motherland is always cold. Da.” Still stupid, but not as dumb as the duck.

  • Mavenmaven

    Soviet Intelligence came up with the most killer meme ever.
    https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder375/500x/74387375.jpg

    • phoenix00

      I’m guessing this is East German?

      • Bongstar420

        More like East Gibberish. These fools can’t even fight in American. LOL

    • William_C_Diaz

      Why am i not dead?

      Have a great day!

      (I get the MP reference)

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Funny thing is, they did give us the shirtless Putin on a horse meme.
    They just suck at doing it on purpose.

  • Incoming Ham

    In Russia memes are made by slave labour of political prisoners. Cut us a break, corporeal punishment doesn’t make good art, no matter what your American interns say.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Kellyanne Conway told CNN Thursday that Obama’s sanctions on GRU officers are pointless because the GRU operatives don’t travel much to the United States or keep any assets here,

    She’s missing the point. The heads of the GRU are comfortably ensconced in Moscow, but their networks overseas are extensive and extend into Russian organized crime and diplomatic missions in the United States.

    • phoenix00

      Is this the same interview where she tried to play victim-of-Obama yet again?

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        That would be AOTK.

      • Bongstar420

        Doesn’t she know its the victims fault?

        • phoenix00

          I thought everything was Obummer’s fault…..

    • Mike Steele

      Russian mob quite active on Delmarva peninsula, where ‘diplomats’ have their little vacation dacha – ironically, once the home of the guy who built Empire State Bldg.

    • Somecallmetim

      As with Trump staff in general – political whores. (not meant to demean respectable prostitution)

  • phoenix00

    I was expecting more Pony memes……

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    :Putin tells Russian banks they need to grab their helmets :

    Russian banks are being warned by the FSB to prepare for possible cyberattacks. That may seem to be a given in these days of virtual criminality, and follows a recent theft of 2 billion rubles ($31.3 million) from correspondent bank accounts at Russia’s Central Bank, but actually Russian financial institutions have until now had it pretty easy. That’s not least because part of the unwritten deal between the state and the hacking community (along with the need to pitch in when ‘patriots’ are expected to attack some foreign target) is that they are fine so long as they don’t commit their crimes against domestic institutions.

    However, I wonder if there is also a security dimension here. Just as the Central Bank was involved in recent mobilization exercises, predicated (rightly) on the fact that any major conflict with the West would also be fought with economic instruments, I wonder how far Moscow is coming to terms with the fact that the one-way ‘political war‘ currently being waged against the West might become a two-way one, at least to a limited extent. Those who live by the hack risk dying by it, too.

  • Incoming Ham
  • Debrasduncan

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !st291c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !st291c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash581ShopPostGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!st291c:….,…….

  • DahBoner

    Russia cannot expel diplomats because Trump give constipation.
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/ulX3lX8Tonx8A/200_d.gif#43

  • The use of the word “lame” in the duckling meme and the Russian flag in front of the White House suggests the influence and, perhaps, participation of the Pussy Grabber and his team. They are now brazenly working together barely even attempting plausible deniability of their collusion.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Don’t laugh. The Russian Web Brigades managed to hijack the conservative movement with memes that were even more ridiculous, and even the MSM got sucked into the vortex. The joke’s on us.

  • Sekhmet1

    Oh, I’m sure Pres Obama is reeling, REEELING, from those devastating ripostes. “LAME” – wow, that’s a real zinger there. What next, “And so’s your mum!” or “You smell!” or “I know you are but what am I?”

    **By the way, at the risk of sounding like That Wanker on the Internet, the proper name for what used to be known as “Ayers Rock” is Uluru.

  • Bongstar420
  • Mack N. Nietzsche

    MOAR PONIES! Ponies for Liberty, Justice and the American Way!

  • stanley263163

    There are more people have more interest about this MEME technology and they want to learn so more well program from here. I hope it will be great pleasure for them.

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