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Poor Trump. Poor, pitiful Donald Trump, who accidentally got hired by a minority of Americans via an affirmative action policy known as the Electoral College, for a job he’s unqualified to do. And mean black president is being mean to him, meanly:

trumpsad

Oh, the ennui! He’s probably having that recurring dream about being in high school on exam day and suddenly realizing HE HASN’T ATTENDED CLASS IN MONTHS AND WILL NOT GRADUATE.

A few notes/questions:

  1. Is Trump triggered right now? Somebody should have done a #triggerwarning to him to alert him to how he will never be as good or as smart as President Obama, who just beat his (allegedly) pockmarked orange ass in Gallup’s annual poll of the Most Admired Man In America. Who does America admire? NOT TRUMP!
  2. Does Trump need to go to his safe space where Kellyanne Conway tickles his “Grandma Fresh From The Beauty Parlor”-colored mane and tells him he’s special?
  3. We are just noticing how Trump said, “NOT!” What is this, 1989? Has Trump been re-watching “Saved By The Bell” instead of reading his CliffsNotes on How To Do Presidenting?

As Bloomberg points out, Trump is probably feeling #triggered right now for a couple of other reasons:

Last week, Obama ordered his United Nations ambassador to abstain from a vote on a resolution declaring Israeli settlements in the West Bank illegal, allowing the measure to pass. Obama also said in an interview published by CNN on Monday that he would have beaten Trump, had he run for a third term. He then cautioned against “tribalism” and “the urge to demonize those who are different” in a speech at Pearl Harbor on Tuesday.

MEAN! Especially the part at Pearl Harbor where Barry Bamz subtweeted Trump by telling him to control his pathetic tribalistic “urges.” And, HAHAHA, we agree Trump is probably still Having A Upset because he knows Obama’s prediction that he could have won the 2016 election in a walk, and looked sexxxy doing it, is so very true.

Anyway, screw Trump, maybe instead of being inaugurated on January 20, he should just sit in the corner and sob for the rest of his natural life, because he sucks.

[Twitter Dot Com Slash Sad President-Elect / Bloomberg]

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  • anwisok

    Nobody told him that B Barry Bamz didn’t have to stop Presidenting on Nov 9th.

    • Trump can be forgiven for his confusion in this case, since the Senate GOP decided Obama had stopped Presidenting last January.

      • kareemachan

        I thought they decided that in 2008….

  • we’re still here

    Snowflake Donald is triggered and needs his safe space. What a cuck.

    • Gristle McThornbody

      I was composing my comment, in case Wonkette ever decides to allow them, and you beat me to all of the words I was scrounging around for.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He needs to go kiss the Blarney stone again. I’ll hold his ankules.

        • Smithers

          America, we, and our children and grandchildren–and the entire world–will be very, very sorry for choosing this dark path. For a very, very long time. Shame on us.

          How could you not see it? – AMERICA WAS DOING BETTER THAN EVER. Progress WAS being made!

          RECORD unemployment numbers, legalized gay marriage, 5% growth, best year for jobs since 1999, consumer confidence up, deficit down 60% in 2014, gas prices low, health insurance cheaper than ever ($85/month), car insurance cheaper than ever ($25 per month from Insurance Panda), the 1% starting to be taxed more!

          The long night of darkness is upon us. We no longer have to imagine it or read about Nazi Germany in the history books. The powers of hell have descended upon this nation.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Apparently we do not WANT good things. Looking at you, overrepresented “heartland” states.

          • data_ninja

            INSURANCE SPAMDA STRIKES AGAIN!!!

          • JCfromNC

            I’m nearly tempted to check out Insurance Panda just because they have some of the best-written spam out there. Nearly.

          • data_ninja

            That’s how they git ya!

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            DRINK!

            #InsurancePandaSpam

            Flagged

          • doktorzoom

            If I were a real reporter, and I’m not, I’d do some journamalism on how this Insurance Panda outfit works — are they writing original fake posts into which they insert the pitch, or copypasting existing comments, or what? And is it done by people, like Soylent Green, or some sort of cheap AI that inserts the phrase about car insurance? What kind of response rate do they get? Do they get more prospects from fake rightwing posts or fake leftwing posts? (they do both, I’ve noticed) And how can I make them go away forever?

          • Come here a minute

            And are they hiring? And how much do they pay?

          • doktorzoom

            Enough to buy a McLaren F5, I bet.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I ask the same questions.

            The Insurance Panda posters usually just post and run. It makes it look like their objective is to merely get their spam out there. They just package their spam in a comment that would usually look at least somewhat insightful had they left out their spammage. It reeks of dishonesty; does that poster really believe that insightful part? It comes across as phoney to me. We have to deal with so much phoney already and it’s getting worse. I, for one, am sick of it.

          • Querolous
  • Oblios_Cap

    HE HASN’T ATTENDED CLASS IN MONTHS AND WILL NOT GRADUATE.

    That’s close to the truth. His transition team is pretty darned incompetent and Trump is too busy Twattering to actually learn anything about the job he’s supposed to do. If eh were a normal employee, he’d been fired during this probation period for ineptness.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      This is terrifying. What if Trump is pantsless, like a common wonketer?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Don’t make me post “the picture”.

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Bamz is such a poo flinging meanie to the new God-King guys.

  • memzilla Ω

    You know the one thing that Drumpf has never been seen doing?
    Laugh.
    Smile, yes. Shit-Eating-Grin, yes. Smirk, yes. Sneer, yes. Tucked-Triple-Chin-Grin, yes.
    But an honest, from-the-belly, tears-outen-yer-eyes laugh? NEVER SEEN IT.

    WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT SAY ABOUT SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM HONESTLY LAUGH?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      That’s a pretty common problem on the right in general. They’re humorless, except in maybe a mean way.

      • Martini Ambassador

        You should see ’em chortle at ape jokes. Slays ’em!

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        They’re attracted to negativity.

    • Suttree

      Laughing is a mammalian trait, so no. Although I did find this picture of an owl laughing. So maybe birds too. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/26d337011e17d250f34c3d8dff5b34f0302873d086a054cfae3938267d7da1ed.png

      • kareemachan

        Our conure laughs when we say something funny. I’ve also heard geckos on the ceiling laugh at things I’ve said. So, not just mammalian, but on the other hand, I’m guessing trumpette isn’t even remotely… living.

      • OneYieldRegular

        That owl is a shoe-in to play the role of Burl Ives in the all-ornithological version of Rudolf, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

    • Groundloop

      And all evidence seems to point toward the fact that Pussgrabber McFuckface has never had a pet:

      https://youtu.be/M8xKAYLXbYA

      To paraphrase the great philosopher Foghorn Leghorn,

      “There’s just somethin’ ugghhh about a boy that don’t like dogs and cats and other cute, loyal and lovable creatures”.

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      You just have to catch him after he sees a disabled person trip. I’m sure he finds that hi- larious.

  • Crystalclear12

    And all the leaders of the free world point and laugh at him behind his back! *

    *they are to classy to do it to his face.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Short-sheet all the white house beds and sign an executive order that requires all government toilet paper come from the dollar aisle at Target on the way out, Obama! Get that orange shitpile!

    • MynameisBlarney

      I think this brand would be moar better.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/ZB4XZIXtNAQSc/giphy.gif

      • JCfromNC

        I still remember a MAD Magazine catoon that featured “100% Unprocessed Wood Pulp Industrial Toilet Paper” as a detail in one panel. I think Bamz should make sure all the 2nd floor residence bathrooms are well-supplied with that when he leaves. 😂😂

  • Martini Ambassador

    Grody to the max!!! Gag me with a spoon!!!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Where’s the beef???

      • Martini Ambassador

        Like, oh muh gawd! Totally!!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    president-elects are so cute at that age,

    • Msgr_MΩment

      normally.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Aaaawwwww….the poor thing….bless his little ol’ heart.

  • Ezio Auditore

    “Doing my best to disregard President O’s inflammatory statements…”

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/df/df5e9478d10245e16cc59c1679e89f2a1023e8680159993891773a16b0a39313.jpg

    • Blacktop Autumn

      He’s a try hard who’s falling on his face. SAD.

      • Jennifer R

        He never learned that you ignore the troll.

        • Martini Ambassador

          Well, to be fair after last night’s fiasco, apparently we never learned that either.

          • Jennifer R

            As a small kid I learned that you got picked on because you flinched. If you don’t flinch long enough it’s not fun any more.

        • Ezio Auditore

          It’s hard for him to ignore himself.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Pathetic.

  • Ilgattomorte

    Is anyone else a little worried that our incoming President sounds like a featured character in “Wayne’s World”?

    • msanthropesmr

      “Did you ever think that Bugs Bunny was attractive when he dressed up like a girl?”

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Garth is such a chaser.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Dude, I’d so support a Campbell / Algar ticket in 2020.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Except Wayne and Garth were pretty liberal and cool for the most part.

      “I don’t even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack.” -Wayne

      • Jennifer R

        Fun trivia: Garth was based on Dana’s brother, who made the original Video Toaster card prototype (Video Toaster was a custom expansion card/software combo video editor for the Amiga.) Garth wears a Video Toaster T shirt.

        • Vincent Ricola

          This IS fun trivia and I love it.

          • Jennifer R

            I aim to please.

      • calliecallie

        Was it Kierkegaard or Dick Van Patten who said “If you label me, you negate me”? – Wayne

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    “He’s probably having that recurring dream about being in high school on exam day and suddenly realizing HE HASN’T ATTENDED CLASS IN MONTHS AND WILL NOT GRADUATE.”

    A few months ago I kept dreaming I was in college, and decided to drop a biology course…but never went to the registrar’s office to actually drop the course, so I knew I was going to get an F and would never get my GPA up again, and then Donald Trump got elected president. Then I’d wake up and realize I already graduated college, and no way the country would be stupid enough to elect Trump. Dreams!

    • msanthropesmr

      I usually never remember my dreams, however, before the election, I kept having dreams where everything I owned was breaking.

      • Electric Ukulele Land

        Was not a dream…

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Sounds more like a prophecy to me.

      • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

        Most of the time I like my dreams more than real life, especially right now.

    • Thiazin Red

      My version of that dream is that I somehow missed a required undergrad course and none of the admins noticed until now. Now I have to go back and do it, or they take away my bachelors, call my grad school and make them take away my PhD, and get me fired. But, I have a busy job so how can I find time to go back to upstate NY and take a course, because they aren’t going to let me do it online?

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        It’s odd that so many of us have that dream. It must be a universal dream, like the one about getting chased by a car. Does it mean that we somehow or another feel like frauds?

        • cmd resistor

          I’ve never had the car chasing one, although I have had many variations of the college class dream. Most often the dream goes through a whole semester of me not going to class or doing assignments and gets close to the exam and/or final big paper being due and trying to figure out what to do.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            I looked up what the dream means, from Psychology Today:
            Hypotheses and Interpretations (from the literature and anecdotal):

            The dream often occurs in approximation with having forgotten or being concerned about forgetting to do something important in waking life
            The dream may reflect a sense of responsibility, duty, or choice where the dreamer knows what he/she should do, but is hesitant/reluctant to do the act
            A change involving the end of something is imminent and there is low confidence about the future
            It is a time when regrets of past actions or inactions have been in mind—a possible prompt to not “put off until tomorrow what can be done today”
            The dream, when it comes in approximation with a significant date, such as a birthday, anniversary, school reunion year, date of the death of someone significant, offers the doorway to the classroom as a metaphor to paths not taken, the recognition that a “long” time has passed without goals achieved
            The dream is a reminder not to miss an opportunity or take a more active role in one’s destiny

          • Oblios_Cap

            So they all forgot to vote on Election Day?

          • cmd resistor

            Probably AOT,K.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Pretty sure this dream is a sign that I am supposed to be heading to AA.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Your avatar might also be trying to tell you something! :-)

        • Thiazin Red

          I’m sure there was some kind of earlier history equivalent that people in other eras had.

        • LucindathePook

          The college test/final dream is very common. As one gets older, it turns into “Oh, god, I forgot to go see/call my dying mom for the last month/several months and she will be so upset” — and you have the same feeling of panic/worthlessness/feat. This goes on long after they are actually dead, too.

    • Doug Langley

      Couple days ago I had a dream where I suddenly realized I was late for class. I was frantically running around, trying to remember what room it was, going all over the place, until finally arriving and everyone glaring at me. The punch line: I was the instructor.

      You get really weird dreams once you start teaching college.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I can’t believe I was dreaming about college 30 years after I graduated.

  • FauxAntocles

    He thinks it’s 1989 because people suffering from dementia remember the far past better than the recent past.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “Every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to president Trump,” Manigault said. “It’s everyone who’s ever doubted Donald, who ever disagreed, who ever challenged him. It is the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe.”

    • kareemachan

      And the funny part is him failing miserably at it.

    • bookish

      Nobody has to bow down to anybody.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Not this malcontent. Just sayin’.

    • Yeah, look at how nobody has criticized Obama for the last eight years.

    • That’s certainly a revealing (but completely unsurprising) glimpse into the mind of a Trump supporter, though.

    • HorseChestnut

      When’s the last time anyone in America bowed down to the President (literally or metaphorically)? That is not what America does, and not what the President is for.

    • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

      Hmmmm, I thought Lord Garth was Master of the Universe. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/73fbab3d2eb58f9cbe17e841da3807e38fbf958b22eb4ff8c13a85928a1fee99.jpg
      I’m sure he will have something to say about that!

  • msanthropesmr

    So, I’m thinking that the orange shitmuffin doesn’t understand how this presidenting thing works.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Sure he does. It’s holding rallies and twatting.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Don’t forget enriching his friends and smiting his enemies.

        • therblig

          and being adored

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I saw one poll (in October) that showed Obama would schlong Trump by 12% if he could run.

    https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2016-11-07/obama-would-thump-trump-romney-would-conquer-clinton

    • Doug Langley

      Why on earth would anyone vote for Mittens over Hillary??????

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Gee, now why would the President be somewhat reluctant to be cordial to you? It couldn’t be that you have vowed to demolish every accomplishment he has made in the last 8 years and fling us back into the Dark Ages. Nah, couldn’t be that.

    • Ezio Auditore

      And inspired countless people to question his citizenship, also too.

  • bookish

    Mom fights for eight year old transgender son.

    http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/8-year-old-Transgender-Boy-Asked-to-Leave-Cub-Scout-Pack-new-jersey-408427915.html

    “Not one of the kids said, `You don’t belong here,”’ Maldonado said.

    • HorseChestnut

      Of course the kids don’t care. They’re kids. You have to be taught to care about this stupid bullshit.

  • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

    A competent, strong, knowledgeable, confident leader wouldn’t be bothered by these “inflammatory” statements. He/she wouldn’t need to have that ass constantly kissed to have a smooth transition. Just sayin’.

    • Ezio Auditore

      Can you imagine the tweets that will be made when some other world leader even remotely critiques him?

      • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

        It’s gonna be so embarrassing. At best.

      • arglebargle

        That’s what the nukes are for.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride for the next 2, 4 or 8 years. (I’m hoping for two years. Then the Demoncrats win every House seat and impeach Trump’s orange ass for lying.)

    • calliecallie

      You’re assuming we will still have midterm elections by then.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Sounds like lil’ Donnie needs a juicebox.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Trigger warning.

  • Thiazin Red

    Yes, his hair is exactly the weird unnatural color that my grandma gets hers dyed. You’d think an alleged billionaire could get a better dye job than an 80 year old farmer’s wife.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Light Natural Auburn 4M?

      • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

        I would have thought blue as in ‘blue haired old ladies.’

        • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

          I was trying to make it sound like the typical hair color box that we ladies use to cover our gray hairs.

  • lucidamente

    This should help Donnie’s self-esteem:

    https://twitter.com/netanyahu/status/814129958385831936

    • RobKanC

      All his nazi supporters are triggered.

      • Thiazin Red

        I’m sure they’ll comfort themselves by thinking that its some kind of elaborate trap.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Who doesn’t like getting Tweets from war criminals?

    • Suttree

      But did Bibi send a bouquet of pussy pops to go with that tweet?

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Funny, doesn’t Netanyahu secretly wish he was POTUS?

  • TJ Barke

    Grumpy toddler in chief.

    • RobKanC

      It’s ok he is a toddler. He will atleast make the Supreme Court awful again.

  • exinkwretch

    Dear Donnie: Your years of only hearing toadies telling you “Yes, sir!” and “You’re a genius, sir!” are over. You have “constituents” now, and they are fond of telling of you that you are an ignorant, reckless, thin-skinned egomaniac prick. In a nice way, of course.

    • puredog

      If “nice” works for you, well, you do you.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    OT: Tweety is on vacation so his show is actually watchable. It’s a Christmas Miracle!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Thanks for the heads up!

    • RobKanC

      What show is this?

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Tweety is (derisive) nickname for Chris Matthews.

        • RobKanC

          Oh good. I hate his face too.

  • Ezio Auditore

    For the last 8 years, users on twitter and other politicians have called Obama a “monkey”, questioned his loyalty and citizenship to America, spread rumors about his background and even threatened to kill him.

    Sorry Donald, you put yourself out there and riled people up. You don’t get to complain now.

    • Doug Langley

      “But I never thought they’d do it to MEEEE!!!!”

    • shivaskeeper

      You need to stop dwelling on the past. It’s the past. And it’s not fair if you bring up what I did in the past to use it against me. Even if the past was like three minutes ago, you can’t use it. Not fair.

      • Rags

        Sad

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Threatened to kill him? They’ve taken shots at the Whitehouse.

  • Mpeg

    Thought it was gonna be a smooth transition

    Funny when things don’t suit you as planned or even promised, Donald? Not that you’d ever, EVER promise something like “I will treat her with respect” then commence to go all unhinged-as-usual at the debate~

  • Nounverb911

    And what’s Donnie gonna say when he finds out some tried to blow up his house yesterday?

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/813873558145421313

    • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

      Dirty Donnie must have just misplaced them. His favorites are the army soldiers and toy battleships and aircraft carriers.

  • shivaskeeper

    There’s his problem. No one said smooth transition. They said peacefully transition of power. No mention of smooth in there at all. I can’t imagine it be smooth when you surround yourself with loons and toadies who have no clue what they are doing either.

  • Incoming Ham

    President Elect Id is the sum total of the ids that elected him. Maybe it will dawn on them at some point that isn’t necessarily a good thing.

    Never mind. They don’t have the self awareness to get it.

  • Martini Ambassador
  • Doug Langley

    It simply boggles my mind how anyone can reach that age and actually believe the Presidency is a calm, easy process.

    • therblig

      well, it’s only 9-5 M-F right? how hard could it be? how many vacation days do i get?

  • Ezio Auditore
  • eggsacklywright

    Someone should give him a copy of Preznidenting for Dummies.

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

    So, from December 31st to January 20th I’ll be repeating the following:
    “Don’t leave Barry, don’t leave, Nooooooooooooooooooooo”

  • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

    Pretty soon there will be no place this moron will be able to hide. I see a nervous breakdown in his future and hopefully full cardiac arrest.

    • laineypc

      It seems to be the way to go this year.

    • therblig

      i assume the 24/7 work schedule plus a shitty diet and lack of exercise will give us president pence in short order.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Try harder, Donald.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Smooth segue of the day; Part One.

    Speakin’ o’ triggers…

    http://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/politics-government/article122697849.html

    • Vecchiojohn

      Well, at least this will make the War on Christmas easier to fight.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Maybe Donnie will get triggered enough he’ll just decide he didn’t want this loser job that much anyway and he’ll just resign….but then we’ll get Pence who is just as bad.

    • MynameisBlarney

      At least Pence is mentally and emotionally stable enough not to start WW-fuckin-III with a tweet.

      • RobKanC

        I think that’s what the republican establishment planned.

        • bookish

          Then they need to get busy.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Or hoped, at least.
          I think that trump is so erratic they honestly have no fucking clue what to do with, or about him at this point.

          • RobKanC

            They will force him out. But they made Mike Pence appear as a sane level headed person. Now that’s playing the long con.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I bet they’d try to take him out if they can’t force him out.

      • Incoming Ham

        He would start WW I.a against women and LBGTQ.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Honestly with the line of succesion being populated by a cadre of amoral, hard-right sociopaths Trump may be the best hope we have.

      His NPD may cause him to stumble into doing the least worse thing on occasion, so he can masturtweet about it.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That’s IF….IIIIFFFFF he doesn’t start a damn world war.

        • Master Contrail Program

          There is no ground floor in Hell. Dante is spinning in his grave, cursing his lack of imagination.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I think this is right, that Trump’s lack of ideology, philosophy, plan, and understanding at least mean that he might sometimes do something that’s not Right-wing Republican Doctrine… unlike the others… As for trump not triggering WW3, or just a major military shitstorm, well, that’s totally up in the air…

        Mrs. Bz&Bz has tired of my little optimistic quip “It’s not like he can do any worse that triggering global thermonuclear war”

  • calliecallie

    OT, but I saw the best tweet the other day, and I thought of you folks:
    Miss Texas 1967 ‏@MsTexas1967 21h21 hours ago
    It is becoming increasingly obvious that David Bowie has established a better alternate universe and is populating it selectively one-by-one

  • theblackdog

    Well now we know how to get under his skin. Can we get our Congress to begin doing the same?

    • magyar of infinite power

      A Elizabeth Warren/Maxine Waters tag team is one of the few things I am looking forward to in the next Congress

  • bookish

    http://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/311579-anti-abortion-groups-expect-quick-action-from-trump

    Abortion rights groups, meanwhile, are sounding the alarm about actions Trump could take.

    “I think we need to watch everything the administration does with respect to women,” said Sarah Lipton-Lubet, vice president at the National Partnership for Women and Families. “[Trump’s] stacking the cabinet with really the most virulent opponents of abortion and women’s health.”

    • calliecallie

      THIS. I want the Senate to quash or at least tie up every confirmation for as long as they can. Even the seemingly reasonable ones. To buy time. To keep them from acting on anything the House might send over. OMG, I am terrified of what these people will do once their in office. Roosevelt is rolling over in his grave.

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        You mean like putting women who have abortions in prison for murder?

  • Oblios_Cap

    It certainly seems that this Trump person is somewhat of a big pussy.

  • Beowoof14

    Donnie is going to need a safe space cause the storm of disrespect and derision is only just beginning. I expect it to be a CAT 5 by January 20

  • Master Contrail Program

    I find it remarkable how gas prices have risen $0.40/gallon here since the election. Now there could be various geo-political factors, somebody could have had bad falafel in Riyadh for instance, involved. I’m sure appointing a certified ‘Friend of Russia’ as Secretary of State has nothing to do with it. Y’know, since Russia has so many other valuable exports.

    How do millions of people fall for GOP propaganda every, single, time? Yet the Democrats are so inept at countering it? They’ve had decades of exposure by now.

    What’s the over under on $4/gallon? Six week? Summer? 2018?

    • Nounverb911

      SecState Exxon will make a price rise decree on January 21.

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        I’m pretty sure of it.

    • RobKanC

      But some of the progressives just couldn’t vote for someone with a personal private server. They have to answer to their conscience you know. And if that means ppl getting hurt, it’s not going to bother their conscience. Cos they voted with theirs. Besides I am sure, Starbucks would make a sugary drink to drown all the hipster problems.

    • Jennifer R

      We switched to winter blend back in September as well, so it should have gone down.

      • Master Contrail Program

        It went up fifteen cents today, two days after Christmas. Last year at this time it was sinking like a stone, got all the way down to $1.60 here in Tampa last March.

        • Jennifer R

          Well CEO of ExxonMobile is getting a job…

        • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

          Gas traditionally goes down in price in the winter except when pukes are in office. I’m expecting $5.00 a gallon by next summer here in the Midwest, and who knows how much in CA.

    • laineypc

      I remember reading that $4/gallon is the magic pain point (this was a while ago so adjust for inflation) that will get enough people to change their gasoline consumption significantly for global warming purposes.

      • Historicat

        But first there will be much wailing and moaning from people who bought a new 12 mpg truck as soon as gas prices fell.

        • laineypc

          Exactly. And yes it’s horribly regressive and will hit poorer people hardest, so if it’s not a tax that can be repaid to them in some fashion then it’s not a good thing.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      OPEC voted to cap production over the winter. Demand always goes up over the holidays (travel-related), and then goes back down in the New Year. This isn’t unheard of.

  • stankbait

    Trump is so very tender. He goes through life like a broke open oozing blister.
    I’m switching channels to watch Jimmy Baker selling survival and prep supplies.
    We might need them. The $77 specials for Jimmy’s 77th birthday are pretty entertaining and their slant on politics and the end of days is enough to put a pucker in the saltiest of old dogs. Get those last chance and last day specials. Actually said they were selling a water filter that could remove radiation from water. no shit.

    • Suttree

      Sure thing! The filter is made of lead. I doubt anyone will notice.

      • Jennifer R

        Fallout tells lies.

      • eggsacklywright

        Nay, ’tis a philter for various and sundry airs and emanations of vapors.

        • Jennifer R

          No, that is the holy water.

      • RobKanC

        Most ppl who buy it are already brain damaged. So there’s that.

    • Jennifer R

      Hope someone got a recording of that.

    • MynameisBlarney

      He went all “tough guy” now that he’s got the beard, eh?

      • stankbait

        You have to admit, Jessica, Sam Kinnison’s friend was HAWT!

        • MynameisBlarney

          After her surgeries…before…not so much.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Jimmy’s been playing Fallout 3 too much…does he look like Uncle Jessie from the “Dukes of Hazzard”?

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      Shouldn’t that be ‘end of days specials’?

    • cmd resistor

      Somewhere I read a letter to the editor that had appeared in some KY paper about how Trump was God’s chosen one, for reasons. One of them had to do with his age (70) plus add in some more sevens to the inauguration date because 7 is God’s number. I don’t remember much of the rest, except that many people fasted and prayed for God to save the nation and he sent Trump. Had I but known, I’d have done some fasting on the HRC side.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        Extreme fasting can have deleterious effects on one’s cognitive abilities. That may explain a lot.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    I’m rereading a book* I haven’t read in a long while and came across a profound insight. Trumpkins literally cannot be lied to. In the book one of the characters says that three-fourths of a lie is wanting to believe it. Those sad Trumpkins are so desperate to believe the orange bullshit that they filled in the last fourth without a thought and the lies have become gospel to them.

    I have to wonder what the rage will be like if and when it becomes patently apparent that what they voted for ain’t what they got. I think we all know what happens when zealots finally learn their emperor has no clothes.

    *The book is A Fine and Private Place by Peter S. Beagle. A warm, funny, sad and most of all very human book. Read it. You’ll like it. Beagle is a superb writer.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I couldn’t figure out where the asterisk went… what book?

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        Refresh. I forgot to put it in and had to edit it in. A bit of a Trump moment there.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          That looks great… thank you. Except, in a true Trump moment, you would have blamed me and the media for your not putting in the title, which you didn’t not do because there it is…

          • At the crossroads, stay strong

            I don’t have a Twitter account so I vented my rage on the kerosene heater next to me.

    • puredog

      Shit, I would say THAT takes me back 50 years, except that cannot be possible.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        I know. It’s been more than 40 years since I read it last. I was surprised at its 1960 copyright date. It just doesn’t seem that long ago. Time does fly when you’re totally confused.

  • Marceline

    It’s pretty obvious that Donald’s dementia is worsening. At this point the inauguration will just be him wandering around on stage in his pajamas.

    • Nounverb911

      Didn’t Donnie once say he wanted to be just like Reagan?

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        What? Dead?

        • Nounverb911

          That wasn’t the answer I was looking for but it will work in a pinch.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            What’s sad is it’s actually “well liked.”

            Human-scaled wobbling sack full of neediness.

      • Suttree

        Have a wife who gives great blowjobs?

      • Jennifer R

        Shitting his pants and thinking about the next Star Wars movie?

    • Shoto

      And the idiot cable teevee infotainers will breathlessly speculate, “What meaning is President Trump trying to convey with the “wandering around in his pajamas” demonstration?”

      Hey idiot cable teevee infotainers: Drumpf is stupid and crazy. Let’s not overthink it, m’kay?

    • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

      While Ted Nugent simultaneously plays Cat Scratch Fever and shits himself.

      • Vincent Ricola

        And Scott Baio cries and files a police report because a Rockette accidentally brushed his arm assaulted him backstage.

        • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

          The day the US became every shitty reality show ever made!

      • Ghenghis McCann

        That would presume that Ted is capable of multi-tasking.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Listening to Cat Scratch Fever tends to make me want to shit MYself.

        • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

          I heard if you play it backwards, it’s the National Anthem.

      • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.
        • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

          NOOOOOO!!!!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          2016 really sucks.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      It’ll be rather interesting to see if he can keep his hand on the good book, what with his odd and erratic hand gesturing.

      • cmd resistor

        I am thinking when he touches it there will be a large lightening bolt that will come from the Bible. Or something dramatic like that.

        • We should swear him in on the Ark of the Covenant. And tell him to open it for the yooooge prizes inside.

      • LucindathePook

        They should see if the Library of Congress has a little mini Bible for him to take the oath on, so his hand won’t look so small.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        In order for Trump to be sworn-in properly, somebody is gonna have to come up with a bible that looks like a pussy. A very small pussy, of course. We don’t want to make his hands look small, for criminy sakes.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Ew, now I’ve grossed myself out contemplating who gets the thankless job of changing his adult diapers.

      • schmannity

        Ivanka. Foreplay, duh!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        A new bureau of the Treasury Dept. It will be called the Stinky Service.

  • Shoto

    “…he should just sit in the corner and sob for the rest of his natural life, because he sucks.”

    The entire world approves of this message.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    For being such tough ‘Alpha Males’ these guys sure do whine like little bitches who skinned a knee when anyone fights back. Pull your pants up you micro dicked chickens vaginas…

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Technically, it’s called a “cloaca”- Latin for “sewer”. Carry on, sir!

  • Nounverb911

    Spicer is walking trump’s words backwards now….

    https://twitter.com/scottdetrow/status/814136621071298560

    • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

      “Walking Backwards” or “Regressing” would have been GREAT slogans for his campaign.

      • yyyaz

        Blast to the Past!

    • beingreleased

      Trump spokesperson must be the worst job on the planet, although the job description is pretty simple. No matter what Trump says, lie and say he didn’t mean it that way.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Is the strategy to just overwhelm us with contradictions and hope our brains seize up?

      • yyyaz

        Nope, it’s to keep the ‘Panzees’ brains frozen. Like a bear chasing two campers.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      To perform the backpedal that amazingly, Imma assume Spicer is doping like an average Russian athelete.

  • bookish

    Politico: Ryan ban on House broadcasts unconstitutional?

    http://www.politico.com/story/2016/12/paul-ryan-livestream-constitution-232994

    As part of a House rules package members will vote to approve in early January, House GOP leaders want to empower the sergeant-at-arms to fine lawmakers up to $2,500 for shooting video or taking photos on the chamber floor.

    But experts say Ryan’s proposal may run afoul of Article 1 of the Constitution, which says “each House may … punish its Members for disorderly behavior.” For more than 200 years that has been interpreted to mean any contested sanctions against lawmakers must be approved by the full House with a floor vote, attorneys steeped in congressional legal matters say.

    “The Constitution gives the House the authority to discipline members; I have never heard of anything where an officer of the House was given that authority,” said Mike Stern, a former lawyer for the nonpartisan House counsel’s office and the Senate Homeland Security Committee’s GOP staff.

    • Stulexington

      Oh, it’s the “because we say so” special clause in the GOP version of the constitution.

      • puredog

        IOKIYAR is, I believe, the more formal cite.

  • Ali | Desperately Seeking Brad

    I think that first link is supposed to go to this: http://www.gallup.com/poll/200771/obama-bests-trump-admired-man-2016.aspx

  • Jennifer R

    OT but news: Pro treasonflag lawmaker Chris Corley has been arrested after giving a pretty gruesome beating when she caught him cheating. http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/chris-corley-pro-gun-confederate-flag-lawmaker-accused-domestic-abuse

    • anwisok

      I’m sure he’ll be convicted and given the harshest possible sentence.

    • beingreleased

      “And I’m going to jail
      For the rest of my life
      And all I did
      Was shoot my wife.”
      — Mose Allison

      (who died this year, by the way. Fuck you 2016.)

      • I sure miss not having Mose on Parchment Farm with us.

      • Stulexington

        Sideshow Bob: And her I sit in jail for a crime I did not commit. Attempted murder!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Just like a Republican not to follow through on his promises. He said that he was going to shoot himself when he got his gun.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Is the gun okay?

    • Incoming Ham

      He’s already a hero to a big chunk of the jury pool. “Keeping the little woman in line” will just be a positive to them.

    • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

      christian conservative values…

    • therblig

      “and said he was going to kill himself before going into a bedroom,”

      you had one job, congressman. one job. (with gerrymandered votes)

  • Nounverb911
    • anwisok

      The Snark is strong in this one.

      • Oblios_Cap

        KaC’s opinion is about as useful as tits on a boar.

        • snark-lurker

          or nipples on a nun

        • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

          We used to say, “tits on a nun”, but I’m a recovering catholic who suffered through 8 years of catholic school, church every Sunday and cateschism classes afterwards.

          I’m still traumatized by it to this day.

          • At the crossroads, stay strong

            I like to jest that I was raised Catholic, but I got over it.

    • Ezio Auditore

      Every day I am more and more convinced that this lady has made a career out of lying.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      He didn’t get the popular vote by what, 3 million? That right there is enough to challenge his legitimacy.

      • Doug Langley

        About 2.9 million. Close enough.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      He lost the popular vote by 2.8 million, you worthless cow. I believe your definition of “earned” differs considerably from mine. Of course, you probably think you “earn” the paycheque you are getting for being a professional fucking liar.

      • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

        What the fuck kind of classy Canadian money is a “paycheque”?! Y’all so fancy!

        • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

          It’s kinda like saying “cut the grass” in French…

          mow de lawn

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            That’s “meaux”.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            Copied and pasted for future reference as I don’t speak French. But the thought was there.

        • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

          Sorry, I keep fergettin’ ta dumb it down fer all y’all poor cornpone munchers.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Elitist!

          • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

            Do you go to the doctor for a cheque-up?

          • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

            In fact, I do. I’m a physical wreque.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Fucker came in third, behind those who didn’t vote, and then Hillary.

        He earned nothing.

    • puredog

      That’s it. That does it. No more booze. I’m going full-on cannabis, all the time. There is no other way to enjoy all this. (Booze just desensitizes you to it.)

  • tihond

    I wish Obama would spend the next four years just messin’ with Trump’s mind, but Obama will probably take a job with a lobbying firm or something. Meanwhile, Joe Biden is working on aging the “Map to George Washington’s gold” that he plans on leaving behind for Trump.

    • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

      They should remove all the T’s, R’s, U’s, M’s and P’s off of all of the keyboards.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Hey! ha woks fo e!

    • We all need to spend however long he’s in the WH (doubt it will be four years) messing with his mind. Obviously losing the popular vote is eating at him and his team. So, post on all social feeds, write letters to the editor of your local papers (esp. if they’re conservative, it’ll make the deplorables insane), march in the streets, boycott his supporters and businesses, send emails and letters to your congressional reps every week. Harass and obstruct. Cause trouble. Keep hammering at his election loss, his lousy business record, his ties to Putin, whatever. Just keep at him. We drove Nixon out of office. We can do the same to DJ.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Messing with Trump’s mind is job #1 for the resistance.

  • Nounverb911
    • Vincent Ricola

      Correct answer, Mr. Harwood.

    • Marceline

      Yeah, you can tell Donny really wants to get in a Twitter war with Bamz.

      • beingreleased

        And Obama loves trolling him.

        • Hellhathnofury Demme

          Needler-in-chief loves to needle!

  • Anna Rompage

    I see special little snow flakes come in a cheeto orange hue now, in this new dystopian America…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Don’t touch the orange acid!

      • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

        Nice touch on an old adage.

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    Nice juxtaposition, trump looks like he’s found wife number 4.

    https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/813993135084867584

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Just wait until they find out she has a trans sister.

      • therblig

        they won’t mind, the gop doesn’t believe in micro chips.

    • snark-lurker

      he will find a way into her dressing room while she’s nekked

      • beingreleased

        I think he’s allowed to do that. No wait – He thinks he’s allowed to do that.

      • puredog

        If there is a Dog, there will be a security camera.

    • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

      She looks like someone who would bake a birthday cake for Jesus every Christmas.

      • Nounverb911

        Just as long as it’s kosher.

      • snark-lurker

        a rodayo queen now?. iz there anything you cannut do?.

        • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

          Math. But that’s ALL. ;)

          • snark-lurker

            how about rithmatic?.

      • bookish

        She’s what,16? So she gets a pass from me, because just a kid. I hope her parents have sense enough to guard her from Trump. I wouldn’t trust him for a minute.

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        Does she smell like vanilla?

      • h4rr4r

        Young?
        Broke?

        I figure if you are an up and coming music person, this is not the worst move ever. Any publicity is good publicity.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Who?

  • yyyaz

    His Special Pumpkiness does not understand the difference between “peaceful” and “smooth,” making him the de facto stupidest man ever to disgrace the office of POTUS.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      De facto and de jure.

      • yyyaz

        Not until 1/20.

  • msanthropesmr
    • MynameisBlarney

      Now that’s for sure gonna cause an epic hissy fit.
      LOL

    • Prismo87

      Gallup! Failing pollsters and UNFAIR!

    • beingreleased

      From the comments to that article (sometimes read the comments):
      “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” – Abe Lincoln
      “Grab them by the pu**y” – Donald Trump

      • TJ Barke

        “Move on them like a bitch.”

  • OneYieldRegular

    “Thought I was going to get my way – NOT!”

  • beingreleased

    OT: 2016 is going to stick around a bit longer just to piss you off.
    http://gizmodo.com/reminder-this-garbage-year-will-last-an-extra-second-l-1790554504

    • Nounverb911

      At least some of us are trying to protect our assets now.
      https://twitter.com/NYMag/status/814129631909580800

      • shaar dula

        not funny. My grand children will live to see Betty do funny things.

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          I love Betty White. She would not be shy at all about telling the orange shitgibbon to go fuck himself and his ‘cabinet’.

        • h4rr4r

          Yeah, what kind of world are we leaving Betty White and Keith Richards?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Annus horribilis.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Bad Ass?

        • Prismo87

          Terrible ass!

  • shaar dula

    Senor Trump,

    -3 mill votes. STFU and deal with it.

    Sincerely,
    Hombre Shar

    PS: Delete your account and release your tax returns.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Lefty Frizzell

    He’s not doing his best to disregard Obama’s comments. Or if he is doing his best, he’s as bad at that as he is at everything else, since he’s clearly not disregarding them at all.

    He can’t take criticism or advice, but he can’t ignore it either. He has to refute it. With insults. Every time.

    What an arrogant, thin-skinned bag of shite. No class, no grace, no talent.

    • Prismo87

      Dominatirx donnie.

      • Nounverb911

        Editrix libelz!

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Remember when Republicans talked about Obama’s lack of experience? I wonder what experience they think this orange idiot brings to the table? Inheriting money and property, declaring bankruptcy, cheating on his wives?

      • Lefty Frizzell

        Also remember when reading from a teleprompter was Obama’s biggest weakness and now it’s Trump’s greatest achievement? Such has the bar been lowered. Under the fucking ground.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Ahh yes. I remember this very argument from right-leaning high school classmates on Facebook in 2010. Alas, I haven’t a Facebook anymore to hear their pretzel logic justifications when this question is posited now.

        • puredog

          Sing it, bro. And just share with us a tiny bit: Do you miss FB AT ALL??!!?

      • Lefty Frizzell

        Because being a community organizer, a constitutional law professor and a senator is no fucking preparation for government compared with being a silver spooned blowhard with questionable business ethics and a history of racially and sexually inflammatory comments and behavior.

      • Oblios_Cap

        “Republican Experience”

        • Grumpy contrarian

          “The Republican Experience” was one of the least-popular-ever rides at Disneyworld.

      • Grumpy contrarian

        Experience at being white.

  • Crystalclear12

    I like the optimism of your average Trumpet, they truly believe it will be a good thing when Trump takes over.* Instead of the first match in the dumpster.

    *When I say I like optimism I mean it crushes like an orange and tastes better

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    I REALLY hope Obama gives the GOP a big “fuck you” by appointing a bunch of judges on his way out the door. Here’s how he could do it:
    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/12/how-obama-could-still-go-nuclear-on-trump-and-the-gop.html

    Sadly, I don’t think Obama will actually do it.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Ya never know.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        It would be out of character for him, but I would LOVE it if he did it.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Do it for America, Obama.

    • beingreleased

      Mitch McConnell told me that it is traditional not to allow black presidents to appoint judges.

      • magyar of infinite power

        Actual pussies can take some serious punishment (see: childbirth), so, Pussy Libel!

    • h4rr4r

      He seems unable to do these kinds of things. Not legally, personally.

      • puredog

        While I respect and love him for being that way, the lesser part of me just wants to shriek: “AND HOW IS THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU LATELY?”

  • Master Contrail Program

    When I wake up in the morning.
    And the Joint Chiefs sound a warning.
    I don’t think I’ll ever make it on time.
    By the time they dye my skin
    And my hairpiece has been pinned.
    I’m in the Oval Office just in time to see the nukes fly by.

    It’s alright, because I’m Saved By the Bell.

  • JustDon’tSayDittos,Brad
  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “…smooth transition-NOT…” says the man who has yet to move to DC and who is costing NYC loads for extended police protection. The Russian Puppet could care less about smooth, he just wanted to bitch about the Presidential President still Presidenting who was making him look antipresidential in the process.

    • Jennifer R

      No one gets a smooth transition. Obama didn’t. I didn’t. deadbeat donnie doesn’t.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Nicely phrased! The Russian Puppet’s transition of power from the American electorate to the Russian oligarchs needs to hit a giant roadblock.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      The only thing smooth about Shitgibbon is the place where his dangly bits should be.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8a70d885a479a0aeb0618ba7e15351fc426816ac145b680e7ed9d0f5be31d01e.png

      • Teecha

        See, I like to think of myself as intelligent, and yet despite knowing that I wouldn’t enjoy seeing whatever was hidden, I clicked on ‘view.’

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        And, perhaps, his nightly BM and twitter dump.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Nuh-uh! His dangly bits are huge!
        Wait, you are talking about his pendulous drooping front gut, yes?

      • puredog

        Huh. He’s in better shape than I thought. I mean, with the notable exception.

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          I tried but google image search couldn’t find an obese Ken doll.

  • Vicious Babushka

    A dumpster fire at least is contained to the dumpster. We are looking at an earth-sized dumpster that is, in fact, the actual Earth.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Well…
    Here’s this for no good reason at all.
    Also, too; I wonder if this is where Ceiling Cat got it’s inspiration from.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/12AClbOTVSAQ9y/giphy.gif

    • Nounverb911
      • MynameisBlarney

        https://media.giphy.com/media/10gL350xuaWthu/giphy.gif

        Note how the guy freaks out and the woman pretty much shrugs it off after her initial reaction.

        • snark-lurker

          he probly screemed like a gurl too

          • MynameisBlarney

            Didn’t EEEEVEN try to pull her out of harms way either.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Japanese Spider-Man is best Spider-Man. I love that he had a giant robot that wasn’t even vaguely spider-themed. Because…..Japanese kids show in the 70s?

      • Meccalopolis

        Ultra man lib111!

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Fifty percent of Republicans believe the Clinton campaign was running a child sex ring, and sadly, so do 25% of Democrats:
    https://today.yougov.com/news/2016/12/27/belief-conspiracies-largely-depends-political-iden/

    Luckily, most of the crazy conspiracy theories are only believed by Republicans.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      This country needs a collective therapist, goddamnit. Crazy shit.

    • OrG

      WTF!

    • h4rr4r

      Who answers these polls?

      My bet is polling these days skews old very hard.

      • bookish

        Not all of us oldz are stupid and gullible.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Old does not mean stupid.

        • h4rr4r

          I never said it did. I simply was speculating about who answered the polls.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Would yelling at you to get off my lawn be inappropriate? ;)

      • snark-lurker

        i resemble that remark!.

        • h4rr4r

          Yeah, just trying to figure out demographics not insinuate anything about anyone.

          Knowing who is polled vs the general population is pretty key to knowing if the poll reflects the public at large.

          • snark-lurker

            my house haz no insinuation thatz why i get cold

          • h4rr4r

            Well to be fair older folks are often cold even in very warm rooms.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            Guessing its the demographic who might say I CLICKIED ON EVERY ANIMATED AD NOW WHERE’S MY NIGERIAN FORTUNES AND ONE WEIRD WEIGHTLOSS LOTTERY WINNING CHICK GETTING TRICKS TO BEAT HEART ATTACKS

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It’s 17%, sez the very page you linked to. Which still means that a depressing fraction of Democrats are dumbfucks. The fact that Repugs are vastly more stupid is not exactly consolation.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Well, that does make me feel better.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I guess I’m gonna need to invest in shares of ExLax to counteract the exactly zero shits I will give about Cheeto Satan over the next four (HAHAHAHAHA) years.

    • Jennifer R

      Trust me, you want to do it with fiber.

      • h4rr4r

        This lady knows what she is talking about.

        Stimulant laxatives are no fun.

        • Oblios_Cap

          You don’t want to be like the constipated mathematician who had to work it out with a pencil, do you?

          • h4rr4r

            He should have eaten the pencil, lots of fiber!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Pity the engineers, who had to work it out with a slide rule.

        • Jennifer R

          I was having anxious digestive issues and next thing it was two years later and I had to take a quad dose of ex lax twice a week to move at all.

          • h4rr4r

            I have the other way, and then I get more anxiety when it is not right because clearly that means I am dying of uber cancer or something.

    • BadKitty904

      “Real Life” needs a Block User button.

  • TundraGrifter

    “He’s probably having that recurring dream about being in high school on exam day and suddenly realizing HE HASN’T ATTENDED CLASS IN MONTHS AND WILL NOT GRADUATE.”

    I recently applied for a part-time job that requires a BA. Proof is a sealed University transcript.

    So I ordered it and took it in and we were going over my paperwork and the nice lady opened up my transcript and looked at it and looked at it and then said “This doesn’t say you have a degree.”

    So I look at it and she’s correct – it doesn’t.

    I call the school and explain and this nice lady puts me on hold. For quite a while. I’m sitting there thinking “What if I didn’t graduate?” After all, it was a long time ago. Have I been telling a lie all these years? Will I have to go back for one class? I keep reading the transcript and I can’t see what’s missing. But it doesn’t say “Confirmed Bachelor’s Degree.” That’s for sure.

    Eventually she returns to the phone and explains it’s a computer cluster-fuck and I’m fine and they will send me a new transcript. But it was an interesting few minutes…

    • h4rr4r

      That for me would have set off the old anxiety attacks something fierce.

      • TundraGrifter

        Actually, it was mostly funny rather than serious. Like a movie – what would it be like to go back to class for half a credit (or whatever it was going to take)?

        Had it dragged on much longer panic probably would have set in. It usually does.

    • Oblios_Cap

      A part time job that needs a degree? What field?

      • TundraGrifter

        Substitute teaching in the local public schools. With a degree, passing the CBEST and the fingerprint check and after forking over $102 upfront whipout you’re qualified in California.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I actually had the nightmare scenario (literally) of having my registrar phone me a week before graduation to say that they had made a mistake and I would, in fact, not have enough credits to graduate. I was able to import classes that I had taken at community college while in high school and create an independent study with a professor who liked me (I received a C on the paper, thus dropping my final GPA, because I basically had to write a term paper in 24 hours) and so I did actually graduate, but barely.

      I know, white people problems. But still.

      • TundraGrifter

        Somewhere in the middle of my Junior year I went to the registrar, met with a counselor, reviewed my college work (it was my third school in 3 years) and asked if I was on track to graduate.

        I told my brother-in-law to do that. I even had a very good friend in the office to help him. He couldn’t be bothered and then came up half a credit short. Had to go to Summer School…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I don’t think my transcripts have the magic words on them either – but I’ve got the degrees in my file cabinet, so I assume the registrar will say “yep” if anybody asks. (Never did get around to framing them and hanging them up, as one is apparently supposed to do.)

      • TundraGrifter

        The next step would have been to start going through the boxes in the garage. I’m sure my high school and college diplomas are together…

  • WomanInTheResistance

    Callyson passed this on, and I’m forwarding it.

    http://whatdoidoabouttrump.com/get-involved/

    • MynameisBlarney

      Noice!

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Just signed up with a few groups. Callyson is a treasure.

    • bookish

      Yeah, you’ll get about a million fundraising appeals.

      https://www.democrats.org/

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Probably. But I’m still going to do what I can.

  • Markuserektus

    OTOH: …Obama is only correct so long as you are talking about a majority of voters, who gave Hillary Clinton and her “Stronger Together” message a ringing endorsement. However, the Electoral College majority recoiled not only from her, but also from Obama’s implementation of his multicultural vision. Trump was able to flip six states Obama won in 2012, driving up white turnout while many of the minorities Clinton needed stayed home. (plucked from Politico)

  • Nounverb911

    This just in:
    https://twitter.com/StateDept/status/814147288817811456

    Trump and Nuttyahoo to go nuts in 3…2…1…

    • MynameisBlarney

      Wha hoppen?

      • Nounverb911
        • MynameisBlarney

          Ah.
          For some reason, I can’t see the twitter links.

          I was able to catch that one for a bit before it vanished.
          But, yeah, you’re right.

        • cmd resistor

          Well my chem-trail aunt thinks he is a Satanist globalist, or the anti-Christ, or something.

        • Grumpy contrarian

          About time somebody showed a little fucking spine, even if it’s pretty much just symbolic at this point.

  • Joseph Stans

    You continue to not be my president, you buffoon.

  • Courser

    Hahaha! Having seen how America (for the most part) loved the Obamas, the OS and fam figured they’d be similarly loved. NOT!!!

    If nothing else, the Orange Shitgibbon will always be sad because we don’t love him the same way and his followers won’t either, since what they are hoping for won’t happen.

  • BadKitty904
    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “You’re out of your league!” should be mandatory, once he’s in office.

  • Crystalclear12

    He spelled President right!
    Someone has been working on their spelling list!

  • ken_kukec

    How clever of the Donald to finish his tweet off with a snappy Wayne’s World allusion.

    Garth for press secretary”s co-host!

    • SeeTrain65

      “A firm grasp on the present … with an eye toward the future.”

      1998 is going to be a great year. Can’t wait!

  • Anna Rompage

    The conservative hoofwanking bunglecucks on Twitter, including the man above, all seem to be up in arms about the US abstaining from the vote against Israeli settlement building…

    Somehow they don’t seem to understand that one can be opposed to Israel’s settlement building, all while supporting Israel’s existence as a country…

    • Nounverb911

      And at the same time giving them $38 billion….

      • Beanz&Berryz

        in weaponry

      • BadKitty904

        In return for…?

        • Nounverb911

          Tsuris.

          • shaar dula

            nice word

        • Anna Rompage

          Being able to claim they’re not really all that antisemitic, even though many of their supporters actively harass jewish people…?

        • shaar dula

          fantasies of rapture?

          • TheBoatDude

            That sounds like a Cards Against Humanity answer…

        • Kooolest G

          a 10% kickback to legislators from both parties from AIPAC?

          • BadKitty904

            The most realistic answer, to date.

    • Edith Prickly

      They don’t do nuance.

    • BadKitty904

      No one’s ever accused that crowd of being overly bright.

    • h4rr4r

      While I support they do now have a right to exist as a nation, I am in general uneasy about any nations that have such close ties to any religion. The UK makes me nervous for the same reason.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Haven’t several US administrations done this, but wasn’t only one of them headed by a black man?

      • Jennifer R

        This was the first time we didn’t veto a UN security council resolution to censure Israel over it.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Actually, we always veto these resolutions. This was unprecedented. And Obama was only able to do it because Congress isn’t in session and can’t vote to impeach him, which they surely would have done if he had tried this earlier.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          About time we made it clear that yes, there are limits on what the US will do to cover Netanyahoo’s ugly ass. He’ll build the fucking settlements anyway, because that’s been the long game for decades, but losing US support will cost him with the Israeli public.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Oddly enough, they paused them. They’ll start again on Jan 21.

    • shaar dula

      no way!! how can that be? the entire leitmotif of US’ own existence is to validate all the actions of the Israeli state while simultaneously nurturing themes like JQ within its own border.

    • omomma

      Best. Ever. “…conservative hoofwanking bunglecucks…”

    • cmd resistor

      So you have been reading my brother’s tweets? Somehow it is cowardly to abstain instead of voting for, and liberals always stab their friends in the back, and Obama did this to be popular with Muslims and liberals, rather than have a principle. I think I have summed it up pretty much. Oh, and Judas.

    • phoenix00

      Nuance is lost on these assholes.

      Also: Congress “abstaining” on actual governing.

  • BadKitty904

    <– wonders what America will be like after four years without an actual President…

    • h4rr4r

      You don’t remember the 8 years of Dubya?

      • BadKitty904

        I remember President Cheney’s reign perfectly clearly, thank you.

        • h4rr4r

          I don’t see why President Pence’s rule would be any different for you to understand.

          • BadKitty904

            There’s been no public evidence of it, to date – just Sniffles’ endless braying. Still, I s’pose we should wait ’til January 20th, when the fascists actually seize power…

          • h4rr4r

            Eh, there will be a whole lot of nothing.
            The Republican party is not as unified as they like to pretend.

          • TheBoatDude

            I want to believe you…but seeing how they all just roll over at the slightest threat/promise, I’m not holding out much hope…

          • Grumpy contrarian

            Because Cheney was more qualified and had a better vision for America. And I never thought I’d ever say that in my head, let alone out loud like this.

    • TheBoatDude

      Well, I’m sure it won’t look much different that all other catastrophic failures in history…

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Scorched wasteland, rubble, glowing in the dark with cockroaches. Lots of cockroaches. Some glowing in the dark and/or horribly deformed–many still blaming Hillary and Obama for their predicament.

      • BadKitty904

        Emails,” they squeak in the ash-filled darkness, “EMAILS!

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          Waving their glowing antennae, “Benghazi!”

    • Grumpy contrarian

      Remember the dystopian bad future at the end of “Dollhouse?” Like that, but less cheerful.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Oh, shit. It’s 2:21AM on the third to last day of the year. This somewhat old (They tell me 65 is the new 64, so there is that.) liberal needs to retire to his futon. Stay warm if you’re in a cold place and joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck. おやすみなさい。 Over and out.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Sleep well.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        Mama Mei cat will demand her spot under the futon. She either softly paws my nose or puts her nose right up to mine to where her whiskers go up my nose. Very insistent kitty, she is and very set in her ways.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Buenos noches

      • Rags

        Bueno nachos

        • Grumpy contrarian

          Grande-sized Nacos!

    • BadKitty904

      Roger that.

    • shaar dula

      it’s true 65 is the new 64.
      anywho sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite.

    • puredog

      That’s “fourth,” even though 31 minus 28 = 3.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        You forget I live in Japan. It was already the 29th when I wrote that. The International Dateline messes with everybody.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      Mr. Catcafe grins sexxxxily at me earlier. “Hey, sweetie,” he says to me, “Wanna see something REAL cool and hip, that all the hipsters have?” He then shows me the Medicare card he just got in the mail. Life goes on! 65 is the new, er, 65. What the hell. We’re still here!

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it remains valid for the next four years. It’s so strange that a non-Socialist country like Japan has no problem with government health insurance. Monthly clinic visits for me, around $20 including meds. I had an operation in February to remove two small benign cancerous lesions: out-of-pocket expense about $1500, that includes a two-week+ hospital stay. Post-op check-ups, around $3. Monthly premiums are around $70. Definitely something our dear Rethuglicans would hate and try to get rid of as quickly as possible, because mindless orthodoxy.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump will win the Nobel Pee Prize for Tweeting

  • boyblue122

    4 years of self-loathing and lashing out at others on twitter, huh?

    This is already gotten real old for me and he isnt even sworn in. Hes just a sad little man

  • Bill Slider

    Since Trump thinks it’s just fine and dandy to grab the presidential reigns from Obama prior to January 20, it’s both healthy and S-M+R-T for Obama to remind both Trump, the nation and the world, not to mention the Republican controlled Congress, that The Man is still THE MAN. We anxiously await to see if Trump chooses the free Bible from the hotel nightstand for his swearing in.

    • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

      More likely steals it.

    • Kooolest G

      he’s going to be sworn in with his tiny hand on “the art of the deal”

    • puredog

      They have bibbles in the drawers at Blair House? Huh, who knew.

  • Scrofula

    “Doing my best to disregard the many inflammatory statements made by literally everyone–NOT!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • boyblue122

      he needs his safe space

      • magyar of infinite power

        I think we’re supposed to call him a “Snowflake” also, too.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          The way things are going, the environment will be so fucked that the snowflakes probably will be orange.

    • cmd resistor

      So when my kid used to say, It’s not fair, I said, Life is shit, and then you die. He didn’t grow up to be a republican, though.

      • Nodrama4mama

        When my klds complain about fair, I tell them, unless you see funnel cakes and fried oreos, there is no fair.

  • Swampay

    If Obama had felt the need to tweeter a response to every time he was insulted by republicans he’d have made enough toots to fill the Donald’s empty head.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    “He’s probably having that recurring dream about being in high school on exam day and suddenly realizing HE HASN’T ATTENDED CLASS IN MONTHS AND WILL NOT GRADUATE.”

    I have this fucking dream every other week, only it’s about college. And it’s not funny.

    • yyyaz

      I used to have it too, long after I graduated.

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        Saddest thing is, I actually used to be a college professor, and I had recurring dreams about being the TEACHER and not being prepared. So it never goes away. My high school nightmares were more about “You never actually finished Algebra 2, so you have to do your senior year over again with all those awful mean girls who endlessly made your life a misery.” “BUT I GOT A PH.D.! I don’t NEED to be in high school!” “Sorry, you didn’t finish Algebra 2, so get out your school uniform and you need to be here at 8 am tomorrow and for the rest of the school year.” “BUT–“

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Does he mean that the transition is NOT going smoothly, or that he did NOT think it would go smoothly to begin with? I can’t tell if he’s using “NOT!” in the Wayne’s World sense or NOT.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Trump is using “NOT!” in the Trump’s World sense. Making sense of it requires a complex set of quantum mechanical equations involving Hamiltonians and shit. May as well just give up and shrug. It’s good for your shoulder muscles.

  • omomma

    More whining from POUTUS, on his way to the Whine House.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hell, I was frankly impressed that Shitgibbon acknowledged someone else was president. And as for inflammatory statements and roadblocks — he’s doing his job, Donald. And it’s not all about you.

    • BrendaKay

      Ah, but in Trump’s tiny brain, it IS all about him. The rest of us do not exist except to pay tribute to him.

  • azeyote

    he will be taking all his wedgies out on someone – the ones who won’t shut up – us

    • Yr. Gma

      Narcissists punish.

  • Kooolest G

    hey donald, if someone says “even when hatred burns hottest, even when the tug of tribalism is at its most primal, we must resist the urge to turn inward. We must resist the urge to demonize those who are different” and you and everyone else assumes he’s talking about you, you might be a racist asshole

  • Apple Scruff

    Didn’t he also say NO WAY! about Bamz beating him? I think he’s been watching too much Wayne’s World on repeat.

  • Yr. Gma

    This what we’re in for. This is narcissist being narcissistic. I could offer some advice from my therapist about how to deal, but I’m working on how to apply the lessons I’ve used for a lifetime on just one person to the godamned fucking president of the country. The first thing, though, is learn to tune it out. Still working on that.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Oh noe Pwesident Twump! Diddums not get evvwything widdle fewwow asked for fwom Santy Claus? Diddums not get his “evvwyone must wove and adore me and call me the best!” like widdle fewwow tantrummed for so hard?

    Awwwwwwww.

    *sudden serious face* Too fucking bad you piece of shit.

    • whitroth

      Gherkins? Maybe we can drown *and* pickle him in a 55 gal drum of vinegar….

  • going4baroque

    I’m sure that no Wonkeroo missed the implication that Barack Obama, on the path to his third term and before he trounces Trump, would necessarily have to hand Hillary another defeat, but the jury is out whether he would have triumphed over the Sanders juggernaut, assuming just for kicks, an honest DNC

  • kittygrrl

    Trump, the mendacious liar that insisted for eight years that Obama was not born in the USA, that the BC he “forced” Obama to produce was a forgery, the one who viciously attacked people for their weight and looks is whining about Obama being mean? He’s just mad because Obama beat him in the GP Most Admired Man in America. Trumplethinskin won’t even last a year at this rate.

    • Keith Taylor

      I tend to agree and would be joyful at the thought … except that Pence is lurking in the background.

  • Blackest Noobs

    sadly despite all their deals with lower demons, it was the deal Trump hatched with Mephistopheles that save him from the wrath of 2016…wrecking absolute havoc on practically everything that was popular culture circa 1976-1990.

    Trump is part of that group, love him or hate him, he is part of them. sadly…The Donald made a better deal with his demon.

    and i know we cannot wish harm or death but i would much rather have Carrie Fisher alive, David Bowie, Prince, Richard Adams, much much would prefer one of them….over a certain person who will remain nameless.

    but hear me well, HONKEY, will be the battle cry of 2018.

  • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

    Just what ‘murica needed… a loose cannon with a hair trigger.

  • Nodrama4mama

    I would seriously pay one of those high school marching bands playing the inauguration to play “The Imperial March” from Star Wars instead of “Hail to the Chief”, if I only had the moneys.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Leave it to the Republicans to run a Presidential campaign based on their candidate’s public mental breakdown, and leave it to America to vote for that. Soon they will hand the nuclear codes to whatever is left of Trump’s unraveling psyche. God help us.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    All this disappears on January 20 when Trump takes the oath of office, and all Americans automatically love him.

    • phoenix00

      He’ll get another 10000 Twatter followers! Bigly!

  • DahBoner
    • Alan

      Robinson?

  • Phoenixdoglover

    I walked by the Whitehouse tonight. I couldn’t help myself; I was imagining Trump and Bannon sitting in the Oval Office. Now I’m drinking.

  • freakishlystrong

    That tweet was reported verbatim as “news”, by AP Radio “news”. Just read off as his response to the President echoing the majority horror. It was “Obama said” and “Trump tweeted”. Literally. I almost wrecked the car..

  • Alan

    If there’s any consolation it may be that 2018 will see both the house and senate, along with some governorships, democratic. If we live that long.

    • DracaJam

      We will also see Mike Pence take the throne, we’ll call that balance?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    In other words, “I am doing my best to ignore Obama by not ignoring him. NOT. Or NOT NOT!”

  • i’mjustaskingthequestion

    It appears that regardless of his presence at the inauguration, trump will be spending his time in a corner crying about the mean Chinese or Iranians or, indubitably the russians, I am sure will all hear about it through the increasingly antiquated “Twitter”.

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