SHARE
westmemphis
SHE WAS THERE FIRST!

You are probably thinking, “Shaddup Wonket, you found that on internet, or you made it on internet,” but WRONG AGAIN, DINGUS. That was spotted and posted by Wonk pal Chris Davis of the Memphis Flyer, whom we are friends with IRL. It was taken in West Memphis, Arkansas, which is a “suburb” of Memphis, sorta kinda because we who live in Memphis try not to claim it all that much.

ANYWAY, this is your open thread, so whether or not Jesus has recently filled the hole (IN YOUR HEARTS, YOU PERVS), you may commence to yammering.

[Memphis Flyer]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Me not sure
    • Lizzietish81

      Well yeah, I mean Trump will be president.

      We are so fucked.

    • jowgajen

      Doesn’t look enough like Smeagol.

    • Tallmutha

      He looks drunk already. Pace yourself, little guy!

      • Crystalclear12

        2017 brought to by Everclear:
        “Everclear-here for you until the All Clear!”

    • anwisok

      2016 was Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. 2017’s gonna be a Crackbabby.

      • Me not sure

        ….or meth babby…No teeth for you!

  • HolidayinCambodia

    As of today, I have re-gained 30 of the 32 pounds I lost between March 14 and May 6.

    • jowgajen

      Been there.

      I am focusing on being strong and healthy enough to do the things I enjoy and live an active life. Fat or not. (Probably fat.)

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Thank you. I hate the “good” “bad” thinking when it comes to food.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I’ve been bad, too. I need to get back into being healthy. I don’t know if it’s just subconsciously I’m not feeling it or what.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Weight loss is hard, as I know all too well. Don’t beat yourself up: today is a new day to begin again.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      32 of the 84, so I’m still ahead. But it’s depressing.

    • FlownOver

      It’s good to have a goal, Holi. We know you can make it all the way back.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    One of my friends asked for an animal onesie as a Christmas present and most stores are out of her size or ungodly expensive so I might walk 7 miles for her (I really love her).

    • Daisy

      Awwwww!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Christmas is also her birthday (her other present was a waffle iron, I am not a monster).

    • Ezio Auditore

      You are a true friend.

  • Ezio Auditore

    They told me that High School is supposed to be the best for years of your life, but for me it ended up being the worst.

    Well, that is until January 20th, 2017.

    • Lizzietish81

      I remember that, my friend Sara and I were sitting up front and when the principal said that we booed him.

      What a terrible thing to say to kids. The sad thing is, for many people it IS the best years of their lives.

      • Ezio Auditore

        It’s like he was just assuming he knows what different kids would experience.

      • Vienna Woods

        I lectured my principal a few years back when she said that at the first day assembly. I reminded her that kids that are told that may look around and think that if these are the best days, they might as well end it all. I always made a point of telling every class that high school is NOT the best, and that it WILL get better.

    • Thiazin Red

      I can only assume the people who say that have all led really sad lives.

      • Ezio Auditore

        The people who say that are the ones who make it the worst four for everyone else.

        • Thiazin Red

          I think those people become gym teachers.

          • Ezio Auditore

            Shockingly? The athletic people at my old school were the ones who were the most accepting of me and let me sit with them despite the fact that I am a stringy geek. It was usually the other geeks who I had a hard time getting along with.

    • Jennifer R

      The best years of my life were after I got out of high school and met a ton of people who were different than the people I knew in high school and had sex with most of them. The people I met, not the people in high school. I did have a threesome with a high school crush a few years after the fact though.

      • Ezio Auditore

        So…college?

        • Jennifer R

          Basically. Except I met people online chatted with them for weeks/months then would meet them in person and sex just sort of happened usually.

          • FlownOver

            I feel a “Dear Penthouse” moment coming on.

          • Jennifer R

            Maybe on a troll free night.

    • janecita

      College, is the best years of your life. High school is just teen angst and overblown drama. Don’t despair, the best is yet to come!

      • Daisy

        High school was pretty meh for me. Except junior year. The highlight of junior year was my honors chemistry course.

        • Lizzietish81

          I was miserable in high school.

          College was not fun either. First my mom died, then I learned very quickly that I was an over achieving slacker in high school and that I was not at all prepared for college. I struggled for a couple of years before getting my shit together. Still I was dealing with a lot of emotional fall out and had to take care of my older brother, because my dad didn’t care to.

          • Daisy

            I’m sorry, that sounds miserable! :(

          • Ezio Auditore

            Sorry to hear that. It can definitely be stressful.

      • Ezio Auditore

        I started college last year. People in college usually act much more adult and are less concerned about critiquing you for petty things or spreading rumors about you. Everyone gets along really well and it’s more diverse, also too.

        • BJW

          Bigger colleges/universities have many social groups. So it’s easier to find a place to fit. Unless you don’t want to, then that’s okay too, usually.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Almost no one appreciates how insanely awesome college is. The grownups treat you like adults, but still mostly feed and clothe you; and they expect you to read and learn stuff all day, and then have sex all night. Seriously, why did we complain about this at the time?

        • janecita

          We were ungrateful brats.

    • Lizzietish81

      For me, the best years of my life have been my 30s. Once I moved to New York, away from family and started living on my own, I became truly happy and content.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        We were in NYC for the War on Christmas. No snow, but Bryant Park was fun. Also too I think we saw Jesus. He’s living in a tent on 34th street. We gave him a couple dollars and were blessed. Coincidentally, we gave a few dollars to the monks at Bryant Park and were blessed again…or do they cancel out? Not sure. Anyway, NYC is not for the theologically timid.

    • Tallmutha

      Well, I was bullied, socially awkward, raging with sexual frustration, and almost suicidally alienated from everything and everybody. So… yeah, take it all around, probably the best.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Mine was mostly forgettable – I had my nose in one book or another for most of them, or I was too busy stressing about exams and my extra-curriculars to get involved in the usual gossipy crap.

    • AngryKatie

      If high school is the best time of your life, you’ve done a lot of things terribly, terribly wrong.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I think they say that because it is usually the last few years people spend without any crushing responsibilities. To paraphrase Marvin from “The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxay”, The first few years after high school were the worst. The years after that were the worst too. The ones after that I didn’t enjoy at all. After that, it’s all a bit of a decline.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Life begins around 35, when you suddenly discover that asshole waiters don’t intimidate you anymore.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        When I turned 50 and stopped giving a shit, life became so much nicer. I wish I could go back to the times when a snotty girl at a makeup counter or day spa threw shade at me about my skin or makeup. I would demand my money back, if I had paid them, and walk away. Why oh why did I put up with so much crap? Those little bitches.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Hah– for you it’s the make-up counter. For me it’s yoga instructors. Srsly you skinny flexible bitches, you don’t know the struggle.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            There used to be an actual, fucking ballerina working out in my gym and it was just so annoying. And I was, like, 22.

  • Rouge Skwerl!

    Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive.

    http://nationalreport.net/rockeractivist-ted-nugent-found-alive-aged-66/

    • Ezio Auditore

      Isn’t he like, the only musician on the planet who could perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration and NOT commit career suicide (assuming he ever had one to begin with)?

      • Rouge Skwerl!

        The Medina Ballroom still needs acts.

      • Jennifer R

        Everyone knows Kid Rock needs meth money. It’s like Willie Nelson doing commercials.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        How does a career zombie commit career suicide?

    • Jennifer R

      You had my heart jump for a fraction of a moment, you bastard.

      • janecita

        I know, I got so freaking happy for like a second!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      And now, I will be in mourning because I just read your comment.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Here’s a fun thing: there’s a woman at work who is personality challenged, to say the least. She got a gift basket from someone, probably a vendor, which she took unopened to the kitchen and dumped on the table. I walked in a few minutes later, saw the basket, opened it, saw a bottle of wine in the middle and took it, along with a little box of candy. Hey, they were up for grabs! Don’t judge me! So I looked the bottle up on the Internet to see if it was any good and it’s worth $70. Score from the ungrateful wench!

    • therblig

      one year a co-worker who makes his own wine gave everyone a bottle for christmas. not only did it not taste good, he couldn’t be bothered to soak the labels off the bottles he filled with it.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Wow. That is some low-rent shit right there…

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        I’m sorry to hear that. I have some 4-year-old mead that I wish you could try.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        You worked with the Russian Puppet?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        You probably could have used it to clean out the garbage disposal, right?

    • anwisok

      You call her personality challenged, yet she took something very nice which she didn’t want, and made it available to her coworkers. I’d think that taking it home, then mentioning that she threw it out because she didn’t like it, would be more evidence of a personality issue.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        She didn’t bother to open it at all, which I think is ungrateful. She didn’t assign any value to the gift and she didn’t give it to us because she’s nice, believe me. More likely, it was too big for her trash can. She’s one of the most insensitive people I’ve ever met.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I’m done with this year. Just done. Imma hole up until it’s time to set fire to 2016, bury the ashes, salt the earth, and then bless the site with holy water.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a1765f6e8e56faf4454c0f2cdea846384732e21d13ffed359bd5ea2f026d6ad.jpg

  • Thiazin Red

    I’ve come to the realization that I have some kind of Christmas curse. A few years ago I spent Christmas eve in the ER because some dick left a banana peel on the sidewalk, I slipped on it and broke my toe. A year after that, we all got salmonella (except for the cat who didn’t eat that chicken). This year I fell in the shower and gave myself two very bruised elbows and a concussion.

    Stuff like this doesn’t happen the rest of the year. Looking at this pattern, I can conclude that I will most likely die in some kind of ridiculous accident at Christmas.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Make sure it’s a fruitcake-related one, because that will make the best headlines.

      • Jenny

        Woman bakes herself into fruitcake. You won’t believe what happens next!

        • notaten

          Click-bait Ad obituary! Now that’s something to strive for! Woman reaches for the lat piece of pie- what happens next will shock you!!!

          • Thiazin Red

            I can see that. I reach for it and somehow break my skull on the table or something.

    • Jennifer R

      Remember, if an animal that licks shit off it’s ass won’t touch meat, that meat might be bad. Also if my Greek Mythology is up to snuff, whatever you do to prevent the curse from happening will bring it about, so I suggest being a wonderful gregarious person just in case.

      • Thiazin Red

        The other one ate it, but he is a garbage cat and an idiot.

        • Tallmutha

          Flagged for proper use of indefinite article with “idiot.”

    • Penny Dreadful

      Hold on – you actually slipped on a banana peel? You’re kind of my hero now.

  • Ωbjectifier
  • janecita

    I had a “dream” (really a fucking nightmare) last night, that I was getting ready to go out to dinner with my “good friends” Tucker Carlson, Alex Jones, and Steve Bannon. I woke up covered in cold sweat!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Good gawd, whatever you ate before bed – don’t!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Under “Schedule of Services”, is the oral sex before or after the spanking?

    Asking for my right hand.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXT_IOt81Xs

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Mrs. Grammarian and I always stay home on New Year’s Eve, with a bottle of champagne and whatever take-out food strikes our fancy. How about you guys?

    • Daisy

      In the living home of my house. I usually stay on the internet until the clock changes. My parents go to bed pretty early; my mom’s usually in bed by 7:30.

    • Thiazin Red

      Same, with champagne and nachos. Although my boyfriend works in midtown, so if he has to stay late on the 31st there is a decent chance he’ll be in the office all night.

    • Jenny

      I am going to Vegas!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        That should be epic! Lucky!

      • notaten

        Uhhhhg! In my opinion, stay away from the Strip, go Downtown instead, at least you can walk around somewhat, and you’re less likely to have some young punk puke all over you.

        • Jenny

          I had a terrible time in Vegas the last two times I went. I didn’t want to go this time and was finally talked into it this morning. I’ve been told that this is going to be a trip where Vegas is done right. Whatever that means. Anywho I have a plane ticket, a dress, and a limo from the airport and that’s about all I know!

          • notaten

            Oh, you can have a great time, it’s just I used to live there and I know how crazy it can get. I don’t care for huge crowds anymore, so that’s why I preferred the off-strip locales for major holidays. There is definitely good food and drinks to be had, no matter where you go. Have a great time, and ring in 2017 right!!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I will probably be invited to my best friend’s boyfriend’s house, which I will turn down and go instead to my hangout that closes at 10:00 and then I will go home and turn on the tv and crash out on the sofa. Or [insert miracle here]…

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I usually do champagne, but this year I may be doing whiskey shots instead.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I have a small circle of friends that I get together with – it’s BYOB, and we play silly games, snack, and drink. I go, but the last couple years I’ve struggled to maintain a good mood because I’m one of the few singles left in the group.

    • Jennifer R

      Cannabis. Maybe a bottle of sake too.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m having a party at my new home with all the neighbors and their kids invited. Seriously. Fuck 2016 and divisions and hatred and bullshit and bad times. I’m going all out.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I work for a theater that has a regular New Year’s Eve show, so I always have a date with 1000 really old theater goers for NYE. Sometimes the cast has a party, and actually remember to invite the office people who raise their pay. Sometimes I walk home at midnight singing in the snow, which is lovely.

    • AngryKatie

      Same. I’m well past the age where I feel like I needed to go out to have fun, and NYE public transit is more nightmare than I’m willing to face.

      Though stuck on a packed train with drunks woo hooing, fighting, and puking, might be the most appropriate way to see out 2016.

    • FlownOver

      Señora Flown and I, as is our custom, will spend too much on overpriced nibbles and stay home so she can carp about Kathy Griffin again. Can’t say I disagree. Then we’ll calm Canis flownus when he gets torqued over the prohibited but predictable midnight fireworks in the neighborhood. Yippee.

  • Hannah the French Montana

    Jesus gave handjobs with the holes in his hands.

  • Jenny

    Oh great! Now all I can do is picture Jesus as Quagmire giggity giggitying all the nice biblical ladies.

    • Jennifer R

      Quaqmire: Low rent Boomhaur.

  • Jamoche

    Jan 20 is the birthday of one of my choir director’s adopted kids. He is so not looking forward to it.

    • Vienna Woods

      I went into labour with my youngest while Bill Clinton played the sax at his inauguration ball. He was born early next morning.So this year’s birthday will be bloody depressing.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Hey, my ex shares a birthday with St. Ronnie. But also Chaka Kahn, so it all balances out.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’ve been waiting for this. Tell me, NYT, have you got a good op-ed for us?

    Don’t Let Trump Speak for Workers

    Working people do not want a savior to speak for us. We want to raise our own voices through our unions — and those voices are more essential than ever. The share of income going to the middle class has fallen in almost perfect correlation with the declining percentage of people working in jobs where they enjoy a union. Collective, democratic representation in the workplace is essential to shared and durable economic prosperity…

    The Carrier jobs are good because those workers have a voice through their union and have bargained to share in the profit derived from producing relatively high-value consumer goods for American markets. When manufacturing workers have a union to make their voices heard, the jobs pay better and typically provide decent health and retirement benefits. These careers breathe life into local economies: Suppliers, service providers and public sector jobs around Carrier and Rexnord would not exist but for those plants.

    But union jobs are about more than economics. Through their union, the United Steelworkers, Carrier and Rexnord workers have a say in what happens at their workplace and in the nation. They are connected to one another and to the larger community where they live. Jobs where working people have a say are critical to the fabric of our democracy.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/41c80df33ab2d975ae9185a1e982477b1fbbde4e55d06b78f95b49bca68934a1.jpg

    • anwisok

      Oh, yes! Tfrump’s going to be friend of the unions. *gigglesnort*

  • therblig

    went to bed christmas eve after wrapping presents and watching “love actually”. woke up sneezing and achy on christmas and have been fucking sick since then. my ribs are sore from coughing and sneezing and it’s “code milky green”. it was close to 60 degrees today and all i could do was look at my bike and try to not get snot on it. a shitty end to a truly shitty year.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      OUCH…hope you feel better soon!

      • therblig

        thanks. hoping i’ll get better in time to take care of the other two for new years.

    • janecita

      Feel better. Today, it was 60 degrees here in Jersey, it felt like fall!

      • therblig

        yep. that’s where we are.

  • Alex Grey

    This picture has a special place in my heart. (Seen in SE Portland.)
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e874840d546cc97237d242caeff972d82ad3c333c1c456b744bc9a93a8661a7c.jpg

    • Lizzietish81

      Creationism above of a porn store, at least the people who put up the ad understand their audience.

      • Hannah the French Montana

        It’s the second cumming of jesus.

      • Jennifer R

        When I lived in Huntsville Texas the video store (there was only one and it was a local one off) had a sizable porn section, which was 90% combination of queer and interracial. And always checked out.

      • therblig

        life begins in a sweat sock? i’m confused.

  • Come here a minute

    I once saw Jesus in my pajamas, and I didn’t even know we were the same size.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      “I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I’ll never know.”

      • Sedagive

        Groucho Now, Groucho Forever!

        • FlownOver

          “I’ve had a wonderful time. Unfortunately this wasn’t it.”

  • Hannah the French Montana

    How strict is this site? Can I say fuck?

  • Hannah the French Montana

    Jesus was a slut. A gay slut at that.

    • Jennifer R

      He ran around with a group of 12 to 15 men, what do you expect?

      • Alex Grey

        Men with no family obligations at that.

      • Alex Grey

        Men with no family obligations at that.

        • Iam Reading

          The party decorations were fabulous

  • shivaskeeper

    A long time ago a very liberal, progressive evangelical I know said that anyone who posts the church sign slogans needs to run them all past a 14 year old first. If the 14 year old sniggers at it, then find a new slogan, because you are putting up a sign about sex.

    • Ezio Auditore

      As a liberal progressive Catholic this sounds like very good advice.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Imma be honest, with the impending usurpation of the executive arm of the US Government by the Russian Puppet in January, shitty as 2016 has been, I think I may want to keep it around.

    • Jenny

      I think the same. If this year is a trending indication anyway.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    West Memphis is on wrong side of river in an even worse state and not related much to Memphis.

    • SnarkON

      Which side is Graceland on?

  • Tallmutha

    Kingston, NY 6/28/16. Photo taken by me.

    http://imgur.com/1OXGt5g

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      We used to sail or put-put up the river from Poughkeepsie to Kingston drinking beers, dock the boat at that one restaurant that has a boat dock, eat lunch, then head back down every once in a while when I lived in NY.

      • Tallmutha

        We just bought a house in Kingston. It’s changed a lot–lots of good restaurants there now.

    • Nounverb911

      Kingston? My manager was in the old machine gun factory (Bldg 1) when I worked for Big Blue (I lived in Chicago at the time).

    • therblig

      went to college with a guy whose parents owned a clothing factory/store and lived in kingston, called “The Wear House”. one weekend, his brother flew down to lancaster in the company cessna and took us up. i remember looking down at highway traffic and seeing that it appeared to be going faster than we were.

  • Nounverb911

    Hey if we’re giving signs this one is one of my favorite ones.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVyRBCk_V1s

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I love that scene. That and the “mound conference” in Bull Durham are among my favorite scenes because you can just imagine it happening somewhere.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    It’s not the cold
    Which truth be
    A farmer like me
    just sees as a respite from chores

    It’s not the snow
    That deep meditation that says
    That there’s a cold quiet stillness
    That can hold my soul’s pain.

    It is the darkness
    that pulls you into day’s end
    before the day ends.

    • yyyaz

      Author? I have lost my sixth sense, humor, for the sixth time I can count in my lifetime. As the daylight wanes through my clouded panes, my brute solace stalks me from the shadows.

      • clubseal

        Never, ever lose your sense of humor.
        – clubseal’s book of proverbs (WIP)

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        The author is me. I do the poet thing when my other non-paying jobs aren’t depressing enough.

        • yyyaz

          I enjoyed it very much, so thank you. OTOH, clarity of thought is least rewarded when it is needed most. No pressure. ;)

  • Nounverb911
  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I’ma go out on a limb here and suggest that the sign-maker of that church needs to get out a little more frequently.

  • Lesser Tiffany

    I found out King James I was very likely very very gay and very open about it this week and something about it made me so happy

    • Jennifer R

      Further fun: The extra immaculately conceived KJV has had FOUR versions. The original version keeps the Apocrypha even.

      • Lesser Tiffany

        And unicorns are in all of them

        • Jennifer R

          I know I enjoy my 100% error free book calling Hares ruminates. Thinks Pi is 3, and somehow decides 15 == 12.

          • Alex Grey

            Also bats are birds.

      • Thiazin Red

        Even the Infancy gospel where Jesus is basically Damien from the Omen?

        • Lesser Tiffany

          Oh my god I love that one so much.

          • Thiazin Red

            It strikes me as being a pretty realistic idea of how a young child with super powers would act.

          • Lesser Tiffany

            A tiny little terrorist asshole

          • Thiazin Red

            I can’t remember which comic said it but it was something like “the only reason humanity has survived this long, is because toddlers are too small to handle machine guns”

        • Jennifer R

          No the Infancy gospel of thomas isn’t in it.

    • Vecchiojohn

      He was also a scholar of, among other things, witchcraft.https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daemonologie

  • Ezio Auditore

    NICE TIME: The Lego Batman movie looks like it will be a blast.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cym_yo1W8AQqn_z.jpg

  • jowgajen
  • Daisy

    Something that is actually nice abut 2016: After going to college, I actually met real friends, who give a damn about me, and don’t just use me for various things, unlike most of my high school friends.

    • Ezio Auditore

      That is joyous news to hear. Did you meet them at any school clubs or anything?

      • Daisy

        Nah. One is my roommate, my guy friend lives across the hall from us, me and roommate met Floridian friend because I was a smartass after convocation, and guy friend introduced us all to FFA friend.

        • Ezio Auditore

          Ah okay. I made mine through working with the school newspaper and an anime/comic book club since I don’t live on campus. Though I am allowed to visit friends who do during the day.

          • Daisy

            Something that made me realize these are decent people: One time, I got a little behind the group when they were talking about Fire Emblem. It was maybe a minute, when my guy friend said, “Hey where’s [my real name}?”

            My high school friends didn’t give a shit if I was uncomfortable.

          • Ezio Auditore

            When one of my friends said they were worried sick about me when I hadn’t been to class in several days because I was taken ill and referred to the Punisher (a male character) on Daredevil as a “love interest”, I knew I was in heaven.

          • Daisy

            I’ve had a few freak out and cry moments at college, and every time, my roommate has found something to cheer me up until I’m ready to talk about it, or just offer to listen. It’s so nice.

    • Nounverb911

      Are ‘Mean Girls’ allowed in your school? Big difference now.

    • Lesser Tiffany

      Wait until you get into your 30s and begin the not giving a fuck severing of people who suck.

      • Ezio Auditore

        I’m not even in my 30’s yet but I imagine it’s something like when I don’t want to talk to my crazy fascist uncle?

        • Lesser Tiffany

          Kind of but more like you refuse to talk to him at all ever and let everyone know about it.

        • Jennifer R

          It’s the following through of those feelings. It feels like sex candy and drugs all at once.

        • jowgajen

          Life is too short for toxic people, haters, and bullshit. The younger you are when you take this to heart, the better.

      • Jennifer R

        This times ten thousand. Little feels better.

        • Lesser Tiffany

          I love entering the give no fucks part of my life.

          • Jennifer R

            I try to do it daily myself.

      • Iam Reading

        Feels like freedom

    • Iam Reading

      Author of Watership Down just died. Me no like 2016. Glad you found true friends!

    • SnarkON

      Yes, that is what is wonderful about college.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      High school was not a good time for me so I have presents picked out for all my high school friends for putting up with me.

  • Anna Rompage

    You know why so many women love jeebus?

    Because he promised a second coming, and can turn water into wine….

    • janecita

      And he was never home.

    • Alex Grey

      Unfortunately it takes him 3 days to rise again.

    • clubseal

      I thought it was because he was hung like this
      *spreads arms into crucifixion position*

  • Iam Reading

    Jesus was a rape baby and yet also his own child-mother’s rapist. Think about it. Now he is a zombie.

    • SnarkON

      You are going to hell for sure.

      • Iam Reading

        Good. Per Twain and his Letters to Heaven, I want to go to hell, if for no other reason, to avoid heaven.

        • SnarkON

          Save a seat at the bar for me.

          • Iam Reading

            Hell yes. I’ll also load a bowl.

        • notaten

          Heaven for the climate, hell for the company.

          • Jennifer R

            I know the sort of people who are sure they are going to heaven. I don’t want to be anywhere near them.

          • Iam Reading

            FTW! This!

        • clubseal

          I love his description of incessant music in heaven, played by people who were never musicians.

          • yyyaz

            With really shitty instruments.

    • Tallmutha

      It doesn’t count if you’re part of the Trinity. Christians are awesome at coming up with excuses.

  • SnarkON

    Woke up this morning feeling 300 pounds psychically lighter and realized it was simply because the holidays are over. I have grown to despise them over the years. No idea why. I have a lovely family/extended family and we always have a pleasant time at Christmas. But the whole period from Halloween through New Year’s Day makes me want to throw myself in front of a bus.

    • Iam Reading

      Hey, it is also an environmental catastrophy. But, yeah, good times.

    • jowgajen

      In my experience it’s linked to what you expect from yourself over the holidays. Start letting things slide until you begin to enjoy yourself again.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I wish. My “holidays” don’t end until Val Day, because after New Year there’s my nonaversary, then my birthday, then my ex’s birthday, then my divorce anniversary, which is the day he lowered the boom on me and coincidentally two days before Valentine’s Day, so thank you for ruining that for me forever. I HATE December through February.

      • SnarkON

        TBH I also hate Valentine’s Day, which is my wedding anniversary, so that’s double the pressure to have fun and come up with something romantic. So, yeah, I hate it as well. Just didn’t want to be too much of a downer in my original post. P.S. Your ex–what an asshole.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Whoever came up with Valentine’s Day should be shot, imo. (With Val Day cards, edge on)

      • BosGrl

        That sucks :(

      • WomanInTheResistance

        I can’t say as I blame you.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      When I woke up this morning, I fell out of bed and dragged a comb across my head.

      • mrpuma2u

        Somebody spoke and I went into a dream…(line that got that song banned from the BBC cuz it was believed to refer to controlled substances)

        • FlownOver

          It was the “Found my way upstaitrs and had a smoke” part. Someone at the Beeb forgot smoking was allowed only on the upper deck of London buses.

  • TJ Barke

    One of the good things 2016 killed was about 80 pounds off my fat ass.

  • Nounverb911

    Nice rendering of the Pretzeldent-defect when he blows his top….
    https://twitter.com/PostOpinions/status/813776941635563520

  • shivaskeeper

    And… 2016 just claimed Richard Adams. Now I need to go reread the bunny book.

    • Thiazin Red

      The end makes me cry every time.

      • shivaskeeper

        For me it’s Bigwig’s fight with General Woundwort. After telling Hazel he will never call him the leader, them blocking the passage with his body and expecting to die doing it, beating Woundwort, and then calling Hazel Hazle-rah before he passes out. Gets me every time.

        ETA the quote: “My Chief Rabbit has told me to defend this run and until he says otherwise I shall stay here.”

  • Tallmutha
    • Thiazin Red

      Why is he not currently awaiting trial? Everyone said that he knew about the bridge.

      • Tallmutha

        I would say that at this point he’s banking everything on a sweeeet presidential pardon.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, lord…he sounds like those MRA idiots who think pepper spray to the face is just “playing hard to get”.

    • Alex Grey

      Doesn’t he have a bridge to close somewhere?

    • shivaskeeper

      Trump only likes petty, vindictive bullies who don’t get caught.

      • Jennifer R

        Appointments are for winners and winners don’t get caught.

    • Jennifer R
      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Oh, for fuck’s sake.

        • Jennifer R

          The trumpers think they can say faggot and nigger and kike and no one will push back. Joke is on them the resistance just gets louder and louder.

      • Alex Grey

        “the incident, which is under investigation by the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office,
        Well they’re shit out of luck.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      The Times reported Christie “expects Mr. Trump to eventually come around to him,” betting that the President-elect’s current management team comprised of son-in-law Jared Kushner, Breitbart chairman Steve Bannon and Republican National Committee chair Reince Priebus will go off the rails.

      He expects Donald wants to stay on the rails? Some people never learn…

      • notaten

        I am SHOCKED! to discover that this train was ever on the tracks in the first place!!!

    • yyyaz
  • Thiazin Red

    Today I got the annual after Christmas closeout email from yarn.com and had to restrain myself because I’ve got to finish the thing I’m making now. So I just bought enough to make the next thing I want to make and no more.

    Both my current and next project are video game based. Now I’m making Diana’s sweater from the latest Zero Escape game, and the next one will be based on the one Tracer’s girlfriend was wearing in the Overwatch Christmas comic.

    • BosGrl

      Pictures or it didn’t happen!!

    • FlownOver

      I read that as “yam.com” and couldn’t figure out a business model for selling sweet potatoes online. Particularly in Chinese.

  • Nounverb911
    • Ezio Auditore

      I am going to miss this guy. I may not have been around for FDR’s “fireside chats” but Obama is the most personable President in my lifetime.

      • BosGrl

        I can’t even watch this yet.

        • Alex Grey

          Maybe on Jan 21st 2021…

          • gaybymml96

            When that underground bunker is finally constructed.

  • BosGrl

    There’s a troll over in the previous story. I had to block and leave because he made a comment about my avatar but you all might be able to play for a bit.

    • Daisy

      It’s here now.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        The trolls are INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Got a username for me? I have just enough time to fuck with the troll before I head out the door!

      • Jennifer R

        Look just above you. He was kinda obvious from his first post, but not many people saw it I guess.

      • Daisy

        The one who made the “fuck Hillary” comment below.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Still here, eh? I’m on it!

        • BosGrl

          See how stupid I am today? I’m confusing my threads. This was a bad day.

          • Daisy

            Nah, you’re not. He was on the last one too. We’ve actually got one that knows how to move from thread to thread. Bless its heart.

      • BosGrl

        Apparently he is here too. Hanna Montana something.

    • Ezio Auditore

      Is it the one who looks like they have a photoshopped avatar that only a 7-year old would find funny?

    • Ωbjectifier

      He’s no Turgid Love Muscle. We used to get higher grade trolls around here.

      • gaybymml96

        TLM would make $$$$ if he gave up trolling liberal websites and went straight to GayDemon to write erotica.

        • yyyaz

          But actually being paid would cost him his SSDI munniez.

          • gaybymml96

            Damn my liberal thinking and hoping the best for others!

  • Ezio Auditore

    Obama is Left-Handed and a Spider-Man nerd. No wonder I voted for him twice.

    Well okay, technically once because I wasn’t old enough to first time round, but still.

  • Hannah the French Montana

    So can I talk shit about Hillary and Trump? Because I made one joke about Hillary on another page and people are really up in arms about it. It’s pretty entertaining.

    • Jennifer R

      Judging by your vocabulary, you can’t.

      • Hannah the French Montana

        It’s atrocious isn’t it?

        • Jennifer R

          Banal actually.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Indubitably.

          • Tallmutha

            In the other item you used “on behalf of” with a breathtaking ignorance of what it means.

        • Shoto

          Enjoy your idiot, jagoff trolling while you can.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Feisty. It’s really easy to upset you guys isn’t it?

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Oh, tootsie, you aren’t upsetting us at all. Once trolls out themselves as trolls, we love fucking with them. Gives us an excuse to use one of my favorite gifs!

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8194ed21cf3e8c317fdbef43cb62899a246bf970b32cd11d2f2ee7da8ec7be46.gif

          • Hannah the French Montana

            I see you guys do love your gifs. I just wish they were more clever.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            We could say the same about your comments.

          • gaybymml96

            But we’ve got brains so…

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Not really. But you are annoying, so you’ve got that going for you.

    • Shoto

      Don’t tell me, let me guess: Rascal Scooter’s in the shop today, right?

      • BosGrl

        Mother is now standing at the top of the stairs yelling down because his peas are getting cold and she is NOT REHEATING THEM!

        • Hannah the French Montana

          What is this…..the fourth mother joke? Never gets old.

        • willi0000000

          that’s the right attitude!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      If by “entertaining,” you are referring to the fact that your idiotic hate for Hillary is making us ROTFL about your ignorance, then I guess you’ve got a point.

      • Hannah the French Montana

        But it’s okay to talk shit about trump? I asked a question about mentally disabled and you guys said it was okay to talk about him even when he wasn’t brought up.

        So you’re saying you’re just biased?

        • yyyaz

          You are a quick one, aren’t you?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Not really. Pretty slow actually.

          • yyyaz

            Congrats. You must have all the self-awareness the rest of your breed lacks.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Um…you can’t even troll effectively. I said it was not OK to make fun of mentally disabled people, but that Trump was fair game. I challenge you to find a comment where I called Trump mentally disabled or used the R-word, jagoff…

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/28db1bd6f1a0c5eceabb630652b3bfae1498facabbad738f74657f79a7d1cb23.jpg

          • Hannah the French Montana

            No no no. Now you are lacking reading comprehension.

            “So no use of the R-word as an insult. Using “Republican” as an insult instead is the preferred alternative.”

            You were clearly implying that it was okay to speak badly about republicans and trump. Not that he was “the r word”.

          • OrG

            DUMBASS

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Elaborate? I’m calling out the bias of this website and the people on it. What’s wrong with that? What I said was true.

          • OrG

            Who said we were unbiased?

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Having a point of view = being biased now, apparently, at least to this troll.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            I said that? Maybe if you didn’t completely overreact at my comments then I wouldn’t have called you biased. There is a difference between a point of view and acting the way you have just by my comment about hillary.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Wow! You found a nasty, vile little snark mob biased? Fucking regular Sherlock aren’t you.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Yep. We’re biased. Clete, show him what he has won!!!!
            Byeeeeee.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            OMG! I said it was OK to insult Republicans!!! OH THE HORROR!!!!!

            Asshole, this is a self-proclaimed liberal website. So, yes, we insult Republicans and wingnuts. That doesn’t make us hypocrites: it makes us people with a point of view.

            Christ, this troll isn’t even good enough to make the Deleted Commenters post FFS.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            This is all I was trying to figure out. I’m clearly new to this website so how am I supposed to know if this is a self proclaimed liberal website?

            “OMG! I said it was OK to insult Republicans!!! OH THE HORROR!!!!!”

            Okay? I’m not saying this is a bad thing. Lmfao I’m not even republican. I was simply trying to find out if this website was biased or not. Looks like I did.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            I’m clearly new to this website so how am I supposed to know if this is a self proclaimed liberal website?

            OH, IDK…you might have read a few stories and judged for yourself. Or asked in a non-accusatory manner if Wonkette had an editorial position on the issues.

            And if you want a biased website, go check out RedState and Breitbart. Your Hillary hatred would go down famously there!

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Probably. But I have no interest in those sites. It’s just so funny how easily offended you guys were. I know……”We’re not offended blah blah blah”

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Offended? No. Bored? Definitely. Bye!

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Yes the good ol “No I’m just bored. Bye” comment. Lmfao at least 10 different people have said this already. Awesome.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            But we aren’t offended. Annoyed, perhaps. And why are you here? Seriously, what are you trying to prove to yourself?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            I was just checking out a website and made a simple comment about hillary and got attacked for it. But I guess that’s me proving something.

            of·fend·ed1
            [əˈfendəd]
            ADJECTIVE
            resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult:

            By the way, you guys are offended. No other way around it.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            So now that you have concluded to your own satisfaction that we are “offended”, why are you still here? Honestly, why?

          • FlownOver

            If we let you believe we’re offended will you STFU and go away?

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Your comments to votes ratio is in negative territory and still going down like Chris Christie on a Trump taco bowl.

          • FlownOver

            We celebrate our collective biases. The mistaken belief that a comment is funny, not so much.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Most people who are clever or have anything worthwhile to say have more votes than comments.

    • FlownOver

      “Joke.” You keep using that word – I do not think it means what you think it means.

  • Nounverb911

    The President and Shinzo Abe at the Arizona Memorial:
    https://twitter.com/AmbassadorRice/status/813885507075796993

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    I’m really sick of people bemoaning the fact that Obama didn’t intervene in Syria. Yes, things went so swimmingly for us in Iraq, I’m really not sure why we didn’t get involved.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a51870/syria-obama-leadership-trump/

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      “Derp Cab For Cutie.”

      Charlie is awesome.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Paul Krugman is my imaginary husband, and Charlie is my imaginary boyfriend, along with Jonathan Chait.

        • TJ Barke

          Paul really needs to figure out that perpetual growth is a fantasy.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            The USA has pretty much always grown, other than when the GOP is drowning us all in a bathtub. Of course we’re going back to voodoo economics, so there’s that.

          • TJ Barke

            Growing forever is what cancer tries to do. It doesn’t end well for the cancer.

          • FlownOver

            As long as we keep increasing the divisor we sure as hell better keep increasing the dividend too. At least unless you can assure that everyone gets the quotient.

          • willi0000000

            perpetual growth is possible when you realize that there is an entire universe out there to grow into . . . of course, you need

            – the will to do it
            – the resources to do it
            – the intelligence to do it

            . . . and you’ve got to do it before you destroy civilization by war pollution or resource depletion!

          • TJ Barke

            I have zero faith we can manage to do that.

    • shivaskeeper

      But we did intervene. We just didn’t send in troops. That’s where it gets confusing for the complainers. Ask them how many Soldiers should have been sent and where the money comes from. Also ask them how many years they served since they are willing to send someone else to die.

      • notaten

        I get very angry when I hear Ted Cruz and other repukes say ” We need boots on the ground in _whatever foreign country-“. It’s a way to de-emphasize the fact that there are ACTUAL HUMANS occupying those “boots on the ground”, and that jut enrages me no end. Be honest, for once in your damn useless life,and just say that you are willing to sacrifice 50,000 American lives, that are not you or yours, to whatever oil grubbing cause you are championing today. I still won’t support you, but I would at least appreciate an acknowledgement that you realize the human costs of the shit you say.

        • shivaskeeper

          I don’t get too pissed at the expression, other than it’s a co-oping of warfighter’s language by non-warfighters to sound tougher. I have the same complaint about business execs sounding all martial in describing what they do.

          It does de-emphasize that there are actual people going to war, but we’d just find another way to do that in any case.

    • Thiazin Red

      And there is no way to win. Don’t intervene, get criticized for allowing human rights violations. Intervene, you’re a terrible warmonger who loves killing babies.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Obama would be damned if he saved a car full of drowning puppies and babies. The right wing would have said “look how arrogant he is about being a hero.” Just like when he killed Osama bin Laden. I forget their stupid phrase at the time, but it had something to do with a football.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Something something…walk on water…something something, “too lazy to swim.”.

        • Alex Grey

          If they had any personal responsibility, they would have saved themselves and not waited for government help!

      • gaybymml96

        And that comes from both sides. Ultra-leftists and ultra-right. There’s no way to win.

        That is what being a leader is. Orange Hitler has nothing.

    • Nounverb911

      I’m sure that Uday and Qusay Trump would have volunteered to lead the expedition…

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        …and they wouldn’t have led from behind either! They’d be right there with Mitt Romney’s sons, who said they served their country by going to business school. I’m not kidding, that’s what they said. It’s a nice system the GOP has – send their drooling base to go fight unwinnable wars, and send their own kids off to college to figure out how daddy can pay even less in taxes.

    • Alex Grey

      It’s almost like he learned from the past mistakes of others…

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        If only he’d said “radical Islamic terrorism” none of this would ever have even happened!

  • TheGrandWaz00
  • Thiazin Red

    Its in the mid 50s here, but everyone is walking around in winter coats, hats, scarves, etc. Aren’t they sweating? Its not even cold.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Where is here?

      • Thiazin Red

        Manhattan. Its 54 right now, and it was almost 60 earlier. But everyone was walking around like it was cold enough to need outerwear.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I can understand a jacket. But that doesn’t seem terribly cold. And I was always under the impression that NYC has a real winter. Maybe they’re showing off their new holiday loot?

          • janecita

            We get weird high temperature days like that every winter.

          • Thiazin Red

            January/February is usually colder than December.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      After Jan 20, it’s gonna be about 1952 in the White House.

      • willi0000000

        that would be OK . . . Ike wasn’t so bad.

  • Nounverb911
    • Jennifer R

      I will enjoy that building becoming basically uninhabitable.

      • Thiazin Red

        It must be extremely annoying to the non-Trump residents now.

        • Jennifer R

          Something like a dozen people have moved or tried to sell already.

          • Thiazin Red

            Now I’m imagining Melania wandering around a deserted building like a way less classy Miss Havisham.

          • Jennifer R

            For the first time in my life I don’t regret wasting a day reading that awful thing.

          • Thiazin Red

            Pip was such a tool. I get that that was kind of the point, but still.

          • Jennifer R

            And of course high school lit classes are built around the idea certain authors are inherently amazing, which most of them are read nowadays because they are public domain.

          • Thiazin Red

            I still liked Great Expectations better than Grapes of Wrath, which needed some serious editing.

          • Jennifer R

            Grapes was the final six weeks so that was a haze of I already have enough to pass so I don’t care.

          • BosGrl

            I really tried to like Grapes of Wrath but I zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I do like me some James Dean, though.

          • Thiazin Red

            All those heavy handed metaphor chapters need to go, and I remain convinced that Steinbeck forgot the some characters existed for whole segments of the writing process.

          • janecita

            I like Jasper Fforde’s version of Miss. Havisham, way better than the original.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Ezio Auditore

      Woody and Buzz are planning their takeover of Trump tower!

      • BosGrl

        To stupidity and beyond!

        • yyyaz

          Way, waaayyyy beyond.

          • therblig

            PIG PILE!!!!!!

    • BosGrl

      Well the toys weren’t gold plated, so… understandable.

      • Ezio Auditore

        I’d make a joke about how Donald Trump reminds me of Auric Goldfinger, but I think Goldfinger is too classy for that and it’d be libelz.

    • Alex Grey

      But were they radical Islamic toys?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        You said the majek wurds!!!!1!11!!!

    • shivaskeeper

      Why is the doorman still there if the building was locked down? I don;t know if he’s a doorman, but he’s not a cop. And he shouldn’t be there if there was a suspicious package.

      • janecita

        He is not allowed to leave, he has to go down with the building, Trump’s orders.

        • BosGrl

          Playing Nearer My God to Thee on the harmonica.

    • therblig

      was a small package, cause that’s just donnie

    • Rick Hill

      It wasn’t a delivery of puss on a stick?

  • Hannah the French Montana

    So if I said, “Fuck trump. He’s an orange piece of shit.”

    Would that be okay?

    • Alex Grey

      You would just be paraphrasing.

    • gaybymml96

      Aww that makes it all go away – you’re so sweet.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, it’s not Shakespeare…

    • Scrofula

      No. That slanders innocent shit everywhere.

    • Tallmutha

      Maybe stop feeding the troll? It’s pretty clear that all he wants is attention.

      • Hannah the French Montana

        “I disagree with this comment. Therefore, they are a troll.”

        • Tallmutha

          Ah, no. “He wants to hijack this entire blog and make everything about him. Therefore, he is a troll.”

    • OrG

      Go for it.

    • natoslug

      It would be sadly unimaginative, given all of the much more impressive descriptions of him. Cheetoh-Jesus. Tangerine Shitgibbon. Il Douche. Trumplethinskin. Fuckface von Clownstick. Those all had at least a modicum of imagination. “Fuck trump. He’s an orange piece of shit” is neither creative, nor very descriptive. Perhaps you could explain why you would want to fuck him. And why exactly he is a piece of shit. And given your desire to fuck him, and his shitty nature, why you like to fuck shit. But yes, it would be okay to say “Fuck trump. He’s an orange piece of shit.” You could even say “Fuck disqus cowards who need a private profile as a safe space.” If you say the latter, don’t forget to toss a “snowflake” in there somewhere.

      • Ωbjectifier

        What a cuck!

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Jesus christ: total cuck.

    • anwisok

      We’d prefer that you be more creative. As it is, you ARE boring, whichever one you’re bashing. Hell, you haven’t even said anything worthy of the Banhammer of Loving Correction!

  • reelreeler

    Fact: Jesus never said “Merry Christmas”

    • TJ Barke

      Why does Jesus hate Jesus?!?!

      • yyyaz

        And where is the outrage about Jesus on Jesus crime????

        • SnarkON

          And where is Jesus’s father??

    • Ezio Auditore

      This is true. It’s almost like having a connection to God and Christmas are supposed to be about helping and loving others and not just some empty words that you think you aren’t allowed to say.

    • Rick Hill

      Nuther fact: He never once said Jeebus H Christ

    • Shoto

      Babby Jeezuz hated Xmas because it fell on the same day as his birthday, which pretty much cut the Xmas / Birthday presents haul right in half.

      • therblig

        plus, getting myrrh for your birthday is like getting underwear and socks.

    • Shibusa
      • Naytch

        A Shepherd of course!!

  • Vecchiojohn

    This is a true story. Yesterday a hummingbird got in the house and was flapping against the window to get out. I tried to get it to go out an open window but it kept beating its wings ferociously against the window pane. Finally, I picked up an oven mitt, grabbed the bird and handed it out the window as gently as I could.

    This may be the best way to handle other unwanted visitors.

    • yyyaz

      Do they get paid by the number of responses?

    • janecita

      That’s such a sweet story! Hummingbirds make me happy!

      • Vecchiojohn

        Luckily, I got there before the cat did.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I doubt the cat agrees.

        • Scrofula

          You have no idea. Several months back all the birds started fledging or whatever the fuck you call it, all at the same time. Our cat went nuts. It was like the Saving Private Ryan opening. I would grab the birds and try to put them out of reach, but turn my back and . . . I think I may have saved one.
          At LEAST a dozen baby birds went down that weekend alone.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Some are to be handled gently, others must be bashed with a hammer.

      • janecita

        Unwanted human visitors, not hummingbirds!!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Was it a Macedonian or European hummingbird?

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        Russian.

        • sw19womble

          You mean the ones that Trumpers refuse to believe exist?

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            Yes. Them. Slightly OT, have you ever noticed how much easier it is for people to believe that a Nigerian Prince wants to do business with them than it is for them to believe a Russian hacker would break into a government’s email for money?

      • Vecchiojohn

        I’m not wise enough in the ways of science to tell.

    • therblig

      when ms. blig was a girl, a wayward bat got into the trailer (yes, i fell madly in love with a woman raised in a house trailer) and both her mother and step-father freaked out. they were on the verge of calling the police when young ms. blig got a tennis racket, picked up the bat and took it outside.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Good girl. I once saved my entire building from a bat the size of a fun size snickers with a bucket and and piece of cardboard. True story! One neighbor couldn’t even get to his golf bag…

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      You’re comparing them to beautiful birds???

      • Vecchiojohn

        Well, poor dumb brutes, anyway.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, fucking with the troll who believes that having a point of view = being biased has been fun, but I have to hit the road. See you good Wonkers in a few hours!

    • Hannah the French Montana

      I said this? Quote me?

      • Rick Hill

        My dog just did…oh, that was just gas…enh, not a bit of difference

        • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

          Please ignore.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      That shouldn’t be allowed on OT.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I think somebody likes you! You know, if you feed the trolls they’ll keep commenting until they forget how disappointed their mothers are…

  • Nounverb911

    I have a BIGLY dream too, also, but commenting rules (if comments were allowed) prevent me from saying them on the WOnkette.

    https://twitter.com/GOP/status/813796095390269444

    • Ezio Auditore

      My 90-year old Italian grandma who lived thru WW2 and says he reminds her of Il Duce thinks the GOP is making history too….

    • BosGrl

      What does the down arrow mean? They are making history in hell?

      • gaybymml96

        Sinking lower than ever – GOP’s history being made.

      • Ezio Auditore

        It would be even more perfect if instead of an arrow it was a sad face emoji.

        • Jennifer R

          Or the poop emoji.

    • Jennifer R
      • Nounverb911

        I prefer the after pictures of this creep.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      I’m there with you on that. In the words of Captain Picard, “Make it so!”

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Shoto

      I don’t think he understands what “making history” actually means in his case.

    • SayItWithWookies

      My big dream for my family and my country is that the Canadian border stays open for the next four years.

  • btwbfdimho
    • OrG

      Not yet.

      • gaybymml96

        Somehow 2016 is like a plague that hunts down the beloved rich and famous.

    • Nounverb911

      Lock yourself a way until Sunday….

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      The way this year has been going, I wouldn’t tempt fate by holding that sign until Jan.

      • Ωbjectifier

        I used to think Keef and Castro were immortal. Now Fidel is gone…

    • Markuserektus

      He’s permanently pickled though.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      The year isn’t over.

    • Thiazin Red
    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I was just thinking that Keith Richards and Gregg Allman should be sleeping uneasily for the next few days. Of course, you never could kill those two with conventional weapons.

      • OrG

        Iggy also too.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Dude’s gonna be 70 next year and he’s still stage diving. A lot.

      • sw19womble

        Carl Palmer also, too

  • John Mruzik

    Hannah Montana, an underage teen heart throb?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Where?

      –Ted Nugent

    • Ωbjectifier

      Just a no talent kid of a has been country singer.

      • BosGrl

        I don’t know, I kind of like her “no fucks” attitude… if not her music.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Miley? She’s all right. Now that troll we can’t seem to scrape off our shoe…

    • Lesser Tiffany

      I think Khloe Kardashian’s ex bf as well.

  • Hannah the French Montana
  • Nounverb911
  • Markuserektus
  • Hannah the French Montana
    • jowgajen

      You’re shaming her for liking a drink? Are you a teetotaler? Do you shame men who like to drink too? Got one of these memes for the most interesting man in the world guy too?

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Why are you still here?

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        You know you can block them.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Yeah, and I probably will. But I don’t mind being mildly annoying to a minor irritant for a bit. And thanks.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Do my posts bother you?

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Nope. I’m just mildly curious as to your motives. Why are you here?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Why are any of us here?

          • WomanInTheResistance

            C’mon, I expect better than that. Seriously, why are you here, at Wonkette?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            I saw a link about lauren duca getting absolutely destroyed in an interview and it brought me here. I made a comment and everyone went into mob mode and attacked me. That’s when I knew I found my home.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            If you’re talking about the interview where Lauren Duca made Tucker Carlson look even more ridiculous than usual, that was yesterday.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Yes I’m talking about that one. Where she looked like she was on the verge of crying the entire time.

            You’re right, it was yesterday. My first time here. And I love it.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            You’re just being mean when you say “she was on the verge of crying the entire time.” You don’t have to refer to Tucker as “she” just because he’s a little bitch.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Lol the face she made when he said she was being moronic hahahaha.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Lauren Duca was laughing her ass off, intermingled with pain at Tucker Carlson’s massive stupidity. In that regard, Lauren Duca is a lot like most sane people. We alternate between laughing our asses off at him and his dumb, pretentious bow tie, and writhing in pain over his stupidity.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Just saying as a new friend, this is not that kind of website. Wandering around and picking fights is really not how we roll. Really. We have disagreements, but we don’t get personal with the regulars. May I gently suggest you look back through some of the older threads and spend a bit more time lurking?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Nope.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Then blocked.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Not hurting me in any way.

          • SayItWithWookies

            Shitgibbon and Dubya are both teetotalers. They both have serious daddy issues. They both know shit about geography, politics, history, military history, or the essentials of being a good person. They are (and are going to be) the two worst presidents in modern history. Play that shit up if you dig it — and I hope you spend the next four years completely sober.

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            Sorry but I have no patience for that. They have other places they can go so its not my job to entertain them.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            And that is fair. None of us have to entertain them. I have a very mild curiosity about people like this, I must admit. What possible pleasure can they get out of being a jerk-off?

        • zerosumgame0005

          then how can you flag them?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Lol flagging does nothing.

    • Treg Brown
  • PixieThis

    I keep thinking I can’t cry anymore, but then I start crying again. Please, Lords of Light, have mercy on us poor carbon units.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    From ‘The wealthy would never steal’ – a credo for Trump’s party:
    “Kudlow’s argument is important not only for its absurdity but for what it reveals about the coming age in Washington. Trump was able to prevail in part by positioning himself to Hillary Clinton’s left on economic issues. Trump won 38 percent of voters who desire more liberal policies than President Obama delivered (and nearly a fifth of white voters without a college degree who approve of Obama’s performance as president). It was Trump’s image as an outsider — a dangerous man, perhaps, but an avowed enemy of “a failed and corrupt political establishment” and “large corporations.””

    LOL, yeah, Trump is TOTALLY going to be more liberal than Obama on economic ideas, and he’s really going to hold large corporations accountable, by giving them massive tax cuts. Christ, people are dumb!

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/12/the-wealthy-would-never-steal-a-credo-for-trumps-party.html

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      I think that’s a result of him being on TV for 10 years. People didn’t take him seriously.

    • Thiazin Red

      Yeah, the guy whose entire business model is get people to invest, supply and build your projects, then screw them and take their money, will totally be looking out for the little guy.

    • Scrofula

      Some argue that opposing free trade is a “liberal” economic policy. That would be directly in conflict with corporation’s interests.
      Of course, those corporations are sidling up as we speak and we’re going to get the exact opposite.
      (Besides, if Trump actually put tariffs on Chinese imports, and constriction socks at WalMart doubled in price, his demo would lose their shit (and not make the connection.))

    • shivaskeeper

      I’m not really sure if if this is a case of both sider-ism in regards to all politicians lie and the media feeding in to that, or just plain outright mindbogglingly fucking stupidity.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Well, last week there was the article out of Kentucky with the people who not only believed Trump was lying about ripping up the ACA all those times he got on TV and said he was going to do that, but also think he was going to make it stronger and more robust for the poor.

        So I’m going to go with “mindbogglingly fucking stupidity”.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Kudlow makes the case not only that Trump and his administration are not corrupt, but also that they cannot be corrupt, by virtue of their wealth. “Why shouldn’t the president surround himself with successful people?” reasons Kudlow, “Wealthy folks have no need to steal or engage in corruption.”

      And yet they do it all the fucking time. Wow, what an idiot.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        He’s right they have no need to steal or engage in corruption. They do it because they want to. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/801d82fd237cc13b399f5fdbe30c9d91543e0a8c5888789f486ee0232a60486e.png

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I feel very vindicated, because I have been saying for YEARS that Larry Kudlow is one of the dumbest fucks on god’s green earth. He’s really stupid, and doesn’t have even the most basic of reasoning skills. He was one of GWB’s biggest cheerleaders. Right before the banks collapsed he said “this talk of recession is all BS, it’s never going to happen, we’re in a Goldilocks economy.” He’s literally wrong ALL of the time.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Those nincompoops are not only fucked-up in the head, they reward each other for being wrong. SMDH

    • zerosumgame0005

      makes me wonder who the high bidder for SCOTUS will be…

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        It better not be fucking Ted Cruz, is all I know.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Second time this year JJ Abrams has had to post something like this…

    https://twitter.com/bad_robot/status/813855323127582724

  • boyblue123

    The suspicious bag at Rump Tower turned out to be no more than kid’s toys

    https://twitter.com/AP/status/813871142209515520

    • Markuserektus

      I was hoping it would be 5000 pussy pops.

      • Jennifer R

        deadbeat donnie is gonna use those to pay the neo nazi enforcers.

        • BosGrl

          They won’t know what to do with them.

      • Scrofula

        Mike Pence still confused by all the Oyster Lollis.

      • boyblue123

        Should have sent him the same surprise package the clowns at the Oregon Standoff got.

        Box o dildos and a 55 gallon drum of lube

    • Ezio Auditore

      Next thing you know they’ll think a toy light saber is a “pipe bomb”.

    • SayItWithWookies

      If only The Donald had had toys as a child, he wouldn’t have been so afraid of them.

    • Begin Anew Day

      So we know where Bristol Palin has been.

  • Hannah the French Montana
  • Shibusa
    • magyar of infinite power

      I think I actually got worse.

  • Hannah the French Montana
    • Lesser Tiffany

      You are a very odd little troll

      • gaybymml96

        Not a good one, tbh.

        TLM would’ve made us laugh 5 times by now.

        • JustDon’tSayDittos,Brad

          TLM prolly ran out of little blue pills. Or lotion.

          • gaybymml96

            Or got his gay porn blocked by South Carolina’s religious patrol.

          • JustDon’tSayDittos,Brad

            I thought he bangin’ out his own gay porn on Wonkette.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          TLM. I wonder where he’s gotten to. Not.

    • Scrofula

      AHHH!!! She fucking slipped!!! The political disaster of the motherfuckin millennia!! AAAHHH!!! My God she’s really just a fucking mannequin and the real Hillary is dead in a suspended animation pod being nourished by pureed aborted fetus bits and gay frogs but she can still murder her enemies like a fucking ninja and even–holy shit–write emails all while burning down embassies ITS ALL TRUE THIS PROVES IT SOMEHOW!!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!! AND THE FUCKING ELECTION IS OVER ANYWAY!!!! SAVE ME ALEX JONES!!!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I don’t get it -she slipped off the curb and somebody helped her into the car. Is this supposed to make us concerned(!) again(!) that something is wrong with Mrs. Clinton?…

  • Lesser Tiffany

    Did anyone achieve their NY resolutions? I want to brag because I did. I quit smoking.

    • BosGrl

      WAY TO GO!!!!

      Can you only make that resolution in New York though?

      • Lesser Tiffany

        It helps. I was smoking near some guys who said they were from Brooklyn and moved to Portland because Portland was, their words, ‘the next place to be’ and then talked about their ‘avant garde’ band with people who played found instruments and then I never wanted to smoke again.

        (There’s no embellishment here. They were actually The Worst.)

        • BosGrl

          So basically subway music with a milk crate and a coffee can…

          • Lesser Tiffany

            It sounded like it. I mean, the words deconstruction or pomo never came out of their mouths when I was there but like, I smoked the fastest I ever have in my life

          • magyar of infinite power

            Used condoms for strings

        • WomanInTheResistance

          JFC, why are my people (Portlanders) so cursed?!?

          • Lesser Tiffany

            I don’t know. I’m Old Portland (I guess) and these people are horrifying and I hate them. For the record this was in a bar that used to be sketchy as fuck and is now cool or something.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Which bar? I am old Portland.

          • Lesser Tiffany

            Roscoe’s off Stark. It used to be so beautiful and now it isn’t.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Are they at least segregated to one part of town? In Atlanta, the hipsters have infiltrated one section of town, and if you don’t go there, you’re okay. What sucks is when they invade other people’s spaces.

          • Lesser Tiffany

            Oh no they are everywhere now. EVERYWHERE. They used to just be in certain places and then that got really expensive and now they’re infiltrating all places.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            That sucks. My daughter and some her friends moved out there over the past decade, starting when they finished high school in 2009. The economy was stronger there and they’ve all gotten good jobs. They aren’t hipsters, Thank Gawd.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            They were cursed in 1970 when they kept arresting everybody hitchhiking through to and from Seattle….

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Before Brooklyn and Portland, it was Seattle, Austin and Athens, GA. They’ll move on before long.

    • Ezio Auditore

      Congratulations!

      • Lesser Tiffany

        Thank youuuu! I did relapse on election night and when Leonard Cohen died though. Well, Leonard Cohen was less of a relapse and more of a this is something he would have liked thing.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          There’s no way those two days count as a lapse, pretty much a necessity.

          • Lesser Tiffany

            I listened to Democracy on repeat and smoked the other pack of cigarettes I didn’t on election night. It was fitting.

    • Nounverb911

      Molotov!

      • gaybymml96

        GET MOAR MAZELTOV COCKTAILS IN HERE!

    • gaybymml96

      Congratulations!

    • magyar of infinite power

      Mazel felicidades!

  • Hannah the French Montana
    • DOC!!!!!

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        You’re our only hope!

    • Ezio Auditore
      • Markuserektus

        I don’t think he knows shit from Shinola.

      • Hannah the French Montana
        • Lefty Wright

          You still have no point. You resemble neither person in your clip. You sound like a cynic, I doubt you listen too much and at least on this site, I doubt anyone likes you.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Hahahaha nobody on this site likes me? Lmfao holy shit I’m laughing so hard.

          • sw19womble

            Settle down, edgelord. You’ll give yourself another seizure.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            You talking to me or Hillary?

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Edgelord or Elf Lord? I haz a confuze.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          You’re Russian, right?…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yo! Cleanup crew, to the lobby, on the double. Bring the big hazmat barrels for this mope!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/83a04d898a77681cf30c9a61ab73482190820ae882418255133ee9aea80b3e55.png

    • Ricky Gay

      OMG she slipped on the Grassy Knoll!!!!11!

      • Shoto

        It’s a good thing we have the Derpruder Film to review, right?

    • Shoto

      How about you go away?

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Don’t worry. Things are going to get really cray up in hurr.

        • Shoto

          If you don’t get out of here soon, you’ll miss Pudding Night at The Nervous Hospital.

        • gaybymml96

          Yawn – are you trying to act like a 17 year old girl?

          Because you’d better hide from Trump before he grabs them…

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Are you sleepy? Am I putting you to sleep?

          • gaybymml96

            Are you being a tad edgy because you aren’t a good troll?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Oohhh edgy. Nice. I’m genuinely curious. Am I making you sweepy?

          • gaybymml96

            Awwww – you seem to geniunely care! ALL IS FORGIVEN!

          • sw19womble

            13-year old boy libels!!!!!!

    • Scrofula

      OMG!! WTF!! That proves everything!! Something!! Holy shit!! Ignore everything else, game fucking over!! I totally believe Alex Jones now and forever chemtrails emails BENGHAAAAAAAAZIIIII!!!!!!!!!!

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Alex jones can kiss my ass.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Alex Jones had a video out about Carrie Fisher. I never click the links (that way is madness) but DAFUQ?!?

    • suziq

      Wow, was that today?
      hahahahaha, you are a bit behind the times “Hannah”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Yup, slipped off the curb all right….now, what were you saying?…

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      His shape seems pretty stuck to me.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Well, the lizard part anyway…

    • JustDon’tSayDittos,Brad

      Huh. Someone at TxDOT needs to change his password.

  • Vagenda and Tiara
    • Ezio Auditore

      The GOP has officially ushered in the Hunger Games.

    • Lesser Tiffany

      I saw that on CNN and like.. what?

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        When I was a teenager we smoked weed, and listened to great music. I guess these kids are suffering from “economic anxiety” or something.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          When I was young, being long-haired and anti-war could get you beat up just about anywhere, but this is stooopid..

    • Scrofula

      Didn’t Romero already make that movie?

      • boyblue123

        Dawn of the Dead(beats) in a shopping mall

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Hey! We did it, too also! But I don’t think they really get the idea Boxing Day on this side of the pond.

      Aurora mall reopens Tuesday morning; 4 teen girls arrested after melee

      http://www.denverpost.com/2016/12/27/aurora-mall-fight/

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Holiday traditions are gonna require tactical gear now?

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        It’s the War on Christmas, baby! Don’t show up unless you’re packing heat.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yeah, I saw this on Yahoo Newz. Social media invites to fights. Some of the malls had 500-1000 observing and had to close. At one, 5-0 was escorting mall employees to their cars.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I’m a lover, not a fighter, so I don’t understand this urge.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          It’s the same people who think “The Purge” is a documentary.

    • willi0000000

      never the information you need in those stories!

      how many Sharks were hurt? . . . how many jets?

  • Ricky Gay
  • Hannah the French Montana

    Remember when hillary hated gay people?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Remember when you had more than two brain cells?

    • Nounverb911
      • Hannah the French Montana

        Hahahaha

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        “To be honest, I don’t know about that. We’re gonna look into it, believe me.”

    • gaybymml96

      Remember when you got us pretty good?

      Yeah, me neither…

    • Ezio Auditore

      Really? As a bi guy I did not know this! Please cite a reliable source. Otherwise you’ll be no better than Donald who just says “people are saying”.

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Well other than video evidence of her being completely against gay marriage? Idk…

        • Lefty Wright

          Was that before or after she was a Goldwater Girl?

          • gaybymml96

            That was before she was a spy for ISIS – which totally existed before 1960.

        • Ezio Auditore

          Video evidence which can be found at….?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZkK2_6H9MM

            Of course. Oh and this was when she was also for the iraq war too.

          • ltmcdies

            no…really…you are rather obsessed with an individual who will not be president. I can only assume some online stalkerish sort of derangement towards those who supported Clinton or Putin hasn’t handed out the new trolski talking points yet.

            either way…you are a bore

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Awwww

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            So, you do work for Putin! I thought so!…

          • Lefty Wright

            You seem to be tacking on your opinion on what she says. You have taken an answer of “no” and moved that to “totally against”. And as far as the Iraq issue, she stated it was a very difficult vote, but she cited the doctored intelligence information presented to congress by the Bush administration. To paraphrase that noted right wing secretary of defense Rumsfeld, you make your decisions based on the information you are given, not what comes out 2 years later.

        • gaybymml96

          Yeah – she, sooooooo hates gay people.

          Did you also know the FEMA camps she had planned for us included GAY CONVERSION THERAPY?!?!?!?

    • sw19womble

      Seriously. Get some help. I’m really worried for you now. :/

    • Lefty Wright

      No. You want to refresh us? Specifically where she says she hates gay people. That would be interesting.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Remember when you were funny? Yeah…neither do I.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Can you go back to 4chan and let us mourn in our own way? Jesus effing Christ

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Mourn…….Lmfao

        • Lefty Wright

          So quick. How do you do it?

          • gaybymml96

            That’s the hallmark of a sad troll. Can’t give any good comebacks, so has to resort to more depressing methods.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            If I wanted my cum back I’d just wipe it off your chin….

            Hardy har har..

            Let’s see, I’ve been called limpdick. Ooh how clever. Edgy…..can’t forget that all time classic. Oh and troll. Damn you guys are hitting me hard.

          • gaybymml96

            It’s very clear that the only thing that got you riled up is being called a troll. Otherwise, you’d be continuing whatever it is your doing….

            How sad…

          • Hannah the French Montana

            I love it. Being called a troll? It’s awesome.

            But at least I’m entertaining to you guys. Otherwise you’d be doing whatever it was you were doing.

          • Lefty Wright

            Great. No point, just insults. What post in the Trump administration are you shooting for? I think all the speech writer positions are filled. Maybe the locker room attendant.

    • shivaskeeper

      I’ll ask again. What’s your point?

      • Hannah the French Montana

        I’m a troll remember? What point do any of us have?

        • ltmcdies

          none so to the block party you go.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Oh no….how ever will I survive?

        • shivaskeeper

          I didn’t say you were a troll. I asked what your point was. I get it, Hillary is evil and bad. What is your point?

      • WomanInTheResistance

        I tried with that approach, and I’ll cheer you on from the sidelines. But I finally blocked it. I prefer not to be a verbal blow-up sex doll.

    • ltmcdies

      still awfully obsessed with a candidate who will not be president 2017, aren’t we?

    • Sister Artemis

      No, not really.
      Care to elaborate?

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      How about if you go fuck yourself?

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I thought Hillary was gay for Huma Abedin? You Trumpanzees can never get a story straight. Example: “Obama’s a tyrant destroying America from within” and “Obama’s a feckless leader who plays golf all day long.” DERP. You folks aren’t terribly bright, are you?

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Trumpanzees. LMfao fuck trump. Fuck both of them.

        • gaybymml96

          BRB LMFAO!!.!.!

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Ooh how clever. Edgy. Damn you are hitting us hard.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you’re a teenager. This is a sensitive time, but don’t worry, some day you’ll be all growed up.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            This is a sensitive time….let me guess….you’re mourning too? I bet you’re a member of pantsuitnation too right?

          • HazooToo

            No, a sensitive time for YOU, Precious. This is when you start growing hair in places and your voice changes! Now, we know it’s hard, but during this time, you should remember it’s still not appropriate to take your dick out in public, no matter how many gorillas die.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Don’t worry! It gets better, you CAN make it through high school, even though the other kids are mean to you.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Okay, that church sign is just too fucking incestuous…time for the Mount Gay…

    • Suttree

      I thought they were talking about that Willem Dafoe movie.

      • msanthropesmr

        Street of Fire?

  • BosGrl

    So I posted that picture of Carrie Fisher giving the finger and I got myself my first Facebook troll! I don’t need this crap.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0ddc98911d10c2a61eadbd667a98986656918dda6bb744add9fa2edea347c538.png

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Eh, fuck ’em. She’d flip them off too.

    • Apple Scruff

      That troll is either Russian or a fake Drumpf supporter. The grammar is just so bad it’s good.

      Also, Carrie would be proud.

    • shivaskeeper

      Concern troll is concerned.

      • BosGrl

        Yeah and he’s still going. The post is a disgrace and now I’m a disgrace, too. I think I’ll steal the “concern troll” line if he says anything else.

        • Jennifer R

          The only one who is a disgrace is him.

        • shivaskeeper

          I stole it from somewhere, so steal away.

      • Daisy

        And knows nothing about Carrie Fisher.

        • BosGrl

          EXACTLY!

  • Daisy

    Oh Jesus Christ, the troll is still here!?

    • JustDon’tSayDittos,Brad

      Not violating the rules. Not doing anything but grafitti, really.

      • gaybymml96

        Poor troll execution. Trying to get us riled up so hard.

        Execution – 1/10
        Content – 0/10
        Delivery – 1/10

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Just making us feel as shitty as possible on a shitty day, and ruining our overnight thread. This is why we can’t have nice things.

        • Apple Scruff

          Just block ’em, then you won’t have to read his rantings.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Yeah, it takes a while to get through to the grey matter!

        • Yr. Gma

          Don’t feel shitty. Stupid little kid has no power over you. He’s bored because he doesn’t have homework during Xmas vacation. He’s blocked.

    • Apple Scruff

      Wow, I blocked that guy three days ago. He really does have too much time on his hands.

      • gaybymml96

        I’m quite bored really. I’ll wait a bit before blocking.

    • TJ Barke

      I just blocked it, cuz tedious.

      • Daisy

        I’m just annoyed because it’s cluttering up the thread.

        • gaybymml96

          Use the “BLOCK-NATOR” on said (weak excuse of a) troll! One click – and troll goes “Poof!”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      He keeps chewing through the nets!

  • Markuserektus
    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      This is just begging for a caption contest.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Two pedophiles walk into a bar….

        • Markuserektus

          The bartender sez “what are you doing here? Wal-Mart has little boy’s pants half off!”

      • Suttree

        Michael apparently never touched kids, so I’m not sure where to go with it.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Is that Bin Laden in the back?

      • msanthropesmr

        No, but I think it has been shooped to have Bin Laden’s face on some Sikh dude.

      • Markuserektus

        …mebbe

      • therblig

        i thought it was ben kingsley, but that didn’t make sense either

    • msanthropesmr
      • Markuserektus

        It was just a funny…

      • SayItWithWookies

        The Donald’s been hanging around crazy people wearing red armbands for longer than I thought.

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    Remember that time some random just posted things in a comments section, which exists to get replies because you know, comment section, and then thought they ‘won’ something when people responded? Or mentioned them? Or acknowledged that they existed?

    I do. Rather than being entertaining or upsetting, it just made me feel badly that there weren’t better ways for said person to spend their time. Or that they didn’t feel they got enough attention or care from real people in their actual life, so a reaction, any reaction, would be what they wanted?

    This started snarky, but I’m actually sad now. Well, that backfired.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      I would be sad if I were commenting here, too.

      • Yr. Gma

        Comments are allowed?

        • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

          No. I thought that was clear.

        • gaybymml96

          And so are pants? DOES THIS MEAN I CAN DITCH MY SARONG?!

          • Jennifer R

            You were supposed to leave that in the cloak room.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            My pants are in my bunker – did I do that right?

          • gaybymml96

            Aw come on – I like a little layer.

    • sw19womble

      I know. It’s like some intense ragestorm of self-hatred and bravado. Like, when I was 13 or 15 or so.
      And then I grew up.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Yeah, time for blocking, whether they are 13-15, which I agree, really feels right, this is 100% one of those trolls to which any attention is sweet sweet victory. Which.. oh honey. I was a kid in the early internet days when online trolls were invented. I get it, and it’s sad, and please find a friend, you know? Feh. Man – not even trolly enough to cheer me up today, that kid.

      • msanthropesmr

        I never grew up, but I never trolled either….

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Does this mean it’s gone? I tried, but there was nothing there.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Sadly, no.

    • msanthropesmr
  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    Those Christians are just so Goddamn filthy.

  • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

    What I would like to know is how, in this great country, founded as a christian nation with good christian values denies the poor, the down-trodden, the infirm, the handicapped, the hungry and the sick any kind of relief through social programs and affordable healthcare.

    Oh, wait… never mind…

    • Yr. Gma

      Because “Christian” and “Christlike” are two different things.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Two words for you – “prosperity gospel.”

      • shivaskeeper

        Goddammit. I need to read further into the comments before I post. I could have saved some typing by just upvoting.

    • gaybymml96

      If you throw the bible at Republicans, they’d call Jesus a socialist commie west-coast liberal elite.

    • shivaskeeper

      Prosperity Gospel? Bastardize form of the already pretty hideous ideas behind Calvinism? Rapture enthusiasts?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Vagenda and Tiara

      A good can of Troll be Gone would also come in handy.

      • gaybymml96

        *rummages in the bunker*

    • I’ve got one of those things that eat the smaller things.

  • Nounverb911

    “I love the poorly talented.”
    –Doofs j Drumpf

    https://twitter.com/DailyCaller/status/811122252095913984

    • Markuserektus

      Good thing, cuz he isn’t getting any!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “Nobody wants to come to my party? FINE! I didn’t want them anyway!”

    • Treg Brown
      • Martini Ambassador

        Aaaaaaahhhhhhhggggggg! That is flippin’ hilarious. And awful on the eyes.

        • Treg Brown

          I debated on whether or not to post it. It’s disgusting.

          • Martini Ambassador

            It’s Wonkette. You HAD to post it.

          • gaybymml96

            It wouldn’t be wonkette if someone did post something so horrifyingx

          • msanthropesmr

            Well, it’s good that he appears to be getting exercise.

          • Rick Hill

            You should have debated more

          • sw19womble

            Now we all have to mass debate it.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            I’m not touching myself over that picture, womble…

          • bookish

            You did right.

      • Markuserektus

        That is one helluva pole.

      • gaybymml96

        BEGONE SHE DEVIL BEGONE *holds cross*

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        That is a FAKE(!) picture. You can tell, because his tiny hands could never hold onto that pole…

      • Yr. Gma

        Ew.

      • magyar of infinite power

        This is why comments are not allowed here

    • msanthropesmr

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      “I meant to do that!”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hNIX7V21pU

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Yeah, those Normon Aberschnakers are way better anyway. They’re REAL(!) and, did you know they’re Mormon! Take that, Mitt!….

    • Nounverb911
    • Rick Hill

      Sour grapes, much?

      • Unpresidented Ron

        Same ones his idiot son makes his crap wine out of.

    • Yr. Gma

      “Well, I never liked you anyway and you can’t come to my house to play. So there.”

    • therblig

      the comments there are priceless. same sour grapes about “hollywood elites”. good news though, lori is there, talking about her land rover.

      • Sister Artemis

        Good ol’ Lori – nice to know Ammber and Stephani and the others didn’t actually off her, as I have long suspected. And, sounds like she downgraded from the McLaren to the Land Rover… must have fallen on hard times, poor dear!

    • Unpresidented Ron

      ‘I didn’t want those poopyheads at my party anyway!’
      He really IS a child.

  • BigBoppa pour la résistance

    Hey you guys. I got something to dish tonight. I had to go to the DMV today (that’s not it). There were 2 guys standing near me. One was a young who just moved here and needed an Illinois drivers license. The other was a huge guy and older, 55-60 I guess. I don’t think they knew each other., it was more like they were talking to pass the time. The subject of Trump came up and it was pretty obvious that the old guy voted for him. The young one was noncommittal. Old guy said he used to work construction and had worked on Trump tower in Chicago. Then he said that when Trump and his spawn came to town for the ground breaking there was a party at the job site and Ivanka ended up getting loaded and banged an iron worker from the crew. Then he said she got knocked up and Turnip ended up paying the guy $3 mil to shut up and go away. Has any one else heard anything like that? I asked Mr Google but nothing remotely like that appears.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Don’t believe anything you hear at the DMV. Nobody who works there does, anyway…

    • Treg Brown

      “paying the guy $3 mil to shut up and go away.”

      I think that’s the giveaway that it’s fake. Rump never pays.

      • sw19womble

        Threaten with a lawsuit, now definitely…

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        I so want it to be true though. Think the evangelicals would keep looking the other way if it came out that Trump’s perfect princess had an abortion?

        • Daisy

          Honestly? Yes. They would.

        • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

          Why not, they did it with Sarah.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Well, they already believe Trump is the Devil – he’s just gonna do God’s work with the Supremes for them. Don’t ask what kind of deal they made…

        • BosGrl

          They don’t care if Ivanka had an abortion. They only care if poors have abortions.

          • Daisy

            One thing to remember is that evangelicals didn’t unite over abortion, they united at the prospect of the end of segregation.

      • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

        I’m sure he wrote a check…

    • Nounverb911

      Was one of them wearing a bowtie and looked like Tucker Carlson?

    • Markuserektus

      I vaguely recall some sort of payoff, don’t know if family or a contestant.

    • Yr. Gma

      It’s all true. POST FACT.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      And old guy is taking about who he voted for? The mind reels.

      No fixing whatever that is, I’m not sure what to call it.

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s on the internet so it must be true.

  • Hannah the French Montana

    You think Hillary fucks bill with a strap on?

    • Sister Artemis

      Who cares?

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Bill’s asshole?

        • Lefty Wright

          You will fit right in with the Trump locker room staff. Just make sure they don’t mistake your mouth for the toilet.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            As opposed to Hillary’s locker room stuff where she was calling people the n word?

            I guess grabbing pussy that’s willing is better than being racist.

          • Lefty Wright

            Links again? Not just a she said, he said but audio?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            We need evidence of everything now? Damn you guys are strict here.

            Trump never sexually assaulted anybody.

          • Lefty Wright

            Yeah. I generally like to know the truth. That’s why I know that the email crap about Clinton is fabricated sensationalism. As are the supposed links to pay to play with the Clinton Foundation and the Benghazi crap. But it looks like too many people are too stupid to bother checking anything.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            The benghazi “crap” is very serious.

          • Lefty Wright

            How so? Congress refused to authorize funds to ramp up security. No money, no staffing. Stevens made the decision to go to an outpost that he knew was not guarded on a day he knew there was a chance of violence. There was. Numerous investigations by GOP panels found there was nothing Clinton could have done to rescue the men or stop the assault. So where is the serious issue except between your ears. The echo there must be disconcerting.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            Ha! Haha!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!

            You said Benghazi!!!

            Now let’s talk about how the repukes cut funding for security at our embassies. But I’m sure you don’t want to talk about that because it requires critical thinking.

          • memzilla Ω

            How many denars is this costing you to buy the half-hours of wifi at your Macedonian internet cafe, тролль?

          • whirrll

            Just say Bush 9/11 drop the mic, and block this idiot. Nothing but a troll mem

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Um. Yes. Yes he did.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Proof? Evidence?

          • Lefty Wright

            Some he’s not even bothering to deny. Besides, he has too many other misdeeds that there is evidence on. More than enough to eventually sink him.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Same with hillary. The investigations lead on. It’s going to be a very interesting 2017.

          • Lefty Wright

            Hillary has already been thoroughly investigated and nothing was found that would warrant any further legal action. The Trump investigation is just starting in New York and it looks like the GOP will try to stall any federal investigation. That doesn’t mean there is not already evidence out in public on Trump.

          • HazooToo
          • Hannah the French Montana

            Hahahahahahaha gross. I hope there are children on here.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            Do you mean like the child pornography on your computer?

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Lmfao racist and a pedo…..hahahaha so good.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            Well, I suppose you had to get your start somewhere.

          • HazooToo
          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            Burn any crosses or books lately?

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Yup, one certified Russian agent….

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          :Your mouth…

      • Yr. Gma

        Block the boring little shit. Everyone block him until Dok can whip out the Banhammer. (Is it wrong that I would like to see that?)

        • Hannah the French Montana

          -hurt

          • Sister Artemis

            Nobody cares.
            Nobody cares if you’re hurt (you aren’t)
            Nobody cares if you blow it off.
            You’re boring, and don’t converse, and are uninteresting to engage with. The only vaguely interesting question is what do you get out of your posts. And I don’t care enough to try to figure it out.

            blocked.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            I love the selfie in your avatar. N-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ce!

        • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

          Naaa, not at all.

        • HazooToo

          Counterpoint: Send him dick pics.

        • anwisok

          Oddly enough, there are no flagged comments showing in the dashboard, so Dok probably doesn’t know yet.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            Serious question. There’s a dashboard? Is this a feature I’ve been unaware of all this time?

          • anwisok

            It’s the Admin interface – where authors do their creating, etc. I have access as Pink. I do not have (or want) mod privileges, so can’t banhammer.

    • HazooToo

      Do you think that when female corgis run in the snow, their nipples get hard?

    • Jennifer R

      The word you want is “Pegging”, and now you know what to ask for on Saturday nights.

      • Hannah the French Montana

        You seem pretty familiar with this “pegging”. Your boyfriend must love you.

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah, it’s a load of fun.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Who licks the shit off?

          • Jennifer R

            Sounds like an eager volunteer.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            I’m just eager to know who gets the most pink eye between the two of you.

          • Jennifer R

            The way you can keep that from happening to you again is to try taking a shower.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            You appear to be well versed in it.

    • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

      You must be one of those goooooood KKKhristians we’re having a conversation about here.

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Oh no. Jesus gave handjobs with the holes in his hands. I’m not with that.

        • Lefty Wright

          You really should cut back on the drinking. Your responses are making less and less sense while getting increasingly vulgar.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            This comment makes no sense to you? Maybe it’s you who should stop drinking.

          • Lefty Wright

            What does holes in your hands have to do with hand jobs. While it may be painful, there is no reason it could not be done. Besides, your reply has nothing to do with the comment you are responding to.

        • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

          Thank you for bringing so much content and value to the web. I’m sure the internet is now a better place because of you.

    • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

      So, tell me about your christian values…

    • shivaskeeper

      What’s your point in asking?

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Jealousy.

        • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

          Pathetic little troll, isn’t he it?

    • HazooToo

      Do you think I should send you a dick pic?

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Boring troll is boring. Bye Felicia.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Why do you ask, Hannah Bendover?…

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Quick we need more lube, there’s toomush resistance.

        • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

          Wow, aren’t you just quick on the wit.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            There’s a pill for that.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            I’m pretty sure there’s an app for that as well but it keeps crashing his Kidz Delight Tech Too Smooth Touch Smart Phone.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Did you misplace your obamaphone? It’s always in the last place you look.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            I haven’t upgraded to the oPhone smart version, yet. I still have the flip phone.

    • James Yakura

      Hey, what celebrities do with their bits is none of my business.

    • Lizzietish81

      Generally we’re pretty open about fetishes and fantasies.

      But once again, it’s proven that the right have weird ones.

    • Scrofula

      Yes, Hillary fucks bill in the ass with a strap-on. Michelle Obama is a man and a gorilla. They are all cucks. All of them. I’m a cuck. Everyone on this site is a cuck and we do gay buttsex with each other all day long, when we’re not cucking. We are outraged by this #fact.
      There you go, mission complete. Go forth and do your thang, good buddy. Pollinate the interwebs with your knowledge of strap-ons and cucking. It is truly a holy mission.

  • sw19womble

    Watch with the subtitles/cc on. Although it probably won’t help you!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pmZmUzhx9w

    • BosGrl

      I love an Irish accent… I grew up in Boston. No CC needed :D.

      • sw19womble

        That’s a proper pair of culchie accents right there. Poor Marion. Completely surrounded by Celts!

    • data_ninja

      That closed caption tries the best that it can. ‘A’ for effort, ‘C’ for can’t tell what they’re sayin’.

    • ThirdAmendmentMan

      McAvoy’s question was just golden.

  • bookish

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2016/12/27/neo_nazis_are_planning_an_armed_march_against_jews_in_richard_spencer_s.html?google_editors_picks=true

    The founder of the neo-Nazi website The Daily Stormer has announced that the site’s campaign of harassment against Jews in alt-right leader Richard Spencer’s hometown of Whitefish, Montana will continue with an armed march in January. Andrew Anglin claimed on Thursday that 200 people are already expected to participate in the march “against Jews, Jewish businesses and everyone who supports either,” which will take demonstrators carrying “high-powered rifles” through the center of the town.

    “We will be busing in skinheads from the Bay Area,” he wrote. “I have already worked out most of the details with the leaders of the local groups. Several of our top supporters from Silicon Valley have offered to provide significant support for the march, but we may need to solicit donations to pay for gas/food for the skinheads.”

    • gaybymml96

      Aw great – Kristalnacht in the United States

      Hitler must be so proud.

      • Nounverb911

        And Bill Kristol too, also.

      • shivaskeeper

        Kristalnacht. With a Go Fund Me. I just don’t understand it. I mean at least Hitler could get people where they need to be.

        • Nounverb911

          After all he did make the trains run on time.

          • shivaskeeper

            Mussolini libelz.

    • Suttree

      Why can’t they pay their own way? Aren’t there some nice skinhead owned businesses willing to hire them?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY! !!!1!11!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I hope for their sake there are no high flat rooftops nearby….

    • Nounverb911

      Do the Daily Stormer folks realize that….well….Jews are allowed to own guns in the US?

      • shivaskeeper

        No. All liberals faint at the mere sight of guns. None of them can do something like actually shoot anything. I fact all liberals are pussy pacifists who will stand there and get stomped on by the alphas. Or something. I’m not sure how it work because it makes my brain hurt.

    • Daisy

      Fuck, we live in Nazi Germany now, don’t we?

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Ja!

      • Yr. Gma

        But without the good beer.

      • suziq

        Ich bin ein Berliner.

        • Sister Artemis

          WE GET PASTRIES?
          I AM SO EXCITED!!!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Ich bin ein wienerschnitzel! (See, German dick jokes!)…

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            You say it with such relish.

          • Doug Langley

            He really cuts the mustard.

          • Ωbjectifier

            Ich bin ein Chimichanga. (amidoinitrite?)

          • Suttree

            Why was your schnitzel hammered flat, coated with bread crumbs and pan friend?

      • shivaskeeper

        No. The Nazi’s were organized and effective. These assholes are not.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          But, they’re fervoriffic!…

        • Daisy

          Good point.

    • Nounverb911
    • shivaskeeper

      I guess it’s hard to hold a job when you’re a racist skinhead asshole. Once the boss finds out, unless you work for the daily stormer or something, you’re going to be gone. And then you have to beg for money to take the Greayhound to MT to march against the Jews. Sounds like a good life. Where do I sign up?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Because Montana is the New Jerusalem!….

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I’ll need an old Mt. Prospect police car, a really shabby looking suit, some shades, and a partner. The rest will work itself out.

    • TJ Barke

      Vote them all.

    • Ezio Auditore

      I remember back when I first learned about WW2 and I said “those nazis and their hateful ways were beaten, there’s no way they will ever come back. It’s over.”

      Man, I was a naive little boy.

      • Daisy

        I never had that luxury. I’m from Oildale, California. The place is practically crawling with neo-nazis. The CP English Sophomores read Night just so everyone can make sure they know the Holocaust happened.

        • Scrofula

          Oh shit, Oildale! That is one fascinating little town.
          Like a shiny rich snowflake in vast desert.

          • Daisy

            Yeah, the only shiny part of Oildale is Merle Haggard. Who also died this year, fuck.

          • Scrofula

            I was going for skin tone. This weird rich white Bakersfield suburb, when all around is poor Latinos.

          • Daisy

            No, not rich. Oildale is very poor. You’re thinking of Rosedale.

          • Scrofula

            Yeah, it was a long time ago and a really weird story. I could easily have my little towns down there mixed up. (My small town knowledge peters out at Tipton and Porterville)

          • Daisy

            Most important things about Oildale are that it’s white, poor, and heavily entangled with meth.

          • TJ Barke

            Most industrial communities are entangled with meth.

          • Scrofula

            That describes all the white enclaves from there to West Sac (beyond which I know not). Funny story, I sort of accidently bought some the other day here in Fresno. I had no idea a baggie was only five dollars.

          • bookish

            Goddess Delivers (online dispensary) fine weed right to your door in dear old Fresburg. Please for God’s sake don’t buy shit off the street.

          • Scrofula

            Oh, I’m too broke to anyway. This was one of my weird drunken adventures in Tower. But thanks for the info. Any chance you’re an actual Fresno Wonker? Does my desperate loneliness bleed through my comments? Is there anyone in this fucking town?

        • Ezio Auditore

          That explains it I guess. I went from my home in Sicily to moving to America and living in the northeast, so I guess I never got much exposure.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      “top supporters from Silicon Valley” – Peter Thiel? He does have neo-Nazi connections, is why.

    • Ωbjectifier

      I’m sure those skinheads from Cali will just love Whitefish in January.

  • gaybymml96

    Is sad troll still on? Do you need doggie pictures to make him go away? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/11ab32745a023a6feeccd5ebae8e01ff72f493c33d446bdc1ce05f8256413373.jpg

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      That was no sad troll. That was a certified Russian agent…

      • Yr. Gma

        Isn’t that redundant?

      • Nounverb911

        Does he ride bareback with Putin?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        in Russia, troll certify you!

    • Gullah Gullah

      Please tell me you don’t have sex with that poor animal.

      • gaybymml96

        EW NO! WHERE WOULD YOU GET THAT FROM?!

        • Gullah Gullah

          You do don’t you? That’s disgusting.

          • HazooToo

            Do you want a dick pic, too? I have lots.

          • TJ Barke

            Tedious troll is tedious.

        • shivaskeeper

          Looks like another troll. Or maybe the same one as a sockpuppet.

          • gaybymml96

            Yeah – I just realised.

            BLOCKED AND FLAGGED.

        • bookish

          Just some guy being an asshole. Ignore it. Cute pupper dog.

      • Lizzietish81

        Why is that the first thing you think of?

        • Jennifer R

          Because each troll projects their own proclivities. That one yesterday likes to be cuckold, the one down below is a coprophage, and this one is a zoophile.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    A professor called Trump’s election an ‘act of terrorism.’ Then she became the victim of terror.
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2016/12/27/a-professor-called-trumps-election-an-act-of-terrorism-then-she-became-the-victim-of-terror/?utm_term=.ec8ec7356ec7&wpisrc=nl_most-draw14&wpmm=1

    Another thing about Glenn Beck was his targeting of obscure academics, which is why he must not be normalized, ever.

    • Ezio Auditore

      Okay seriously, is “marxist” and “libtard” the only thing these people know how to say? Like, every time I see right-wingers criticize progressives they always use these dumb buzzwords.

      • Jennifer R

        They can’t articulate a reason because the only one they have is the TV or Radio told them to.

      • Daisy

        I’d love to see these trolls in Berkeley. I mean, I doubt I have a much more favorable position toward the communist club than they do, but it be entertaining to see the both of them get in an argument.

        • Ezio Auditore

          “Commie” is another one they love to throw around, also too. Especially at college kids.

      • Edith Prickly

        They can’t think up their own insults, so yes

      • particolored

        Possibly because none of them actually have the mental capacity to understand what Marxism actually is.

  • Ezio Auditore

    Today I learned that “crepey skin” is a real thing.

    I’ll never look at breakfast the same way again.

    • BosGrl

      I was going to say “don’t get old” but that made me sad, so instead, don’t get huge and then lose a lot of weight in old age…

      • Ezio Auditore

        No problem there. I am sort of a string bean already.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          After 45, all bets are off. Just wait.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        I used to be afraid of that happening. Then I discovered that I was actually gaining muscle as I aged. My doctor keeps giving me these odd looks.

  • Gullah Gullah

    How much mayo do you guys go through in a week?

    • Yr. Gma

      Is this a trick question?

      • Sister Artemis

        I thought the recipe thread happened the other day…

    • sw19womble

      AOT,K

    • Nounverb911

      Are you referring to Cinco de Mayo or the Mayo Clinic?

    • Jennifer R

      It’s down there with blood as far as useful lubricant goes.

      • Nounverb911

        And less useful than Santorum?

        • Jennifer R

          Nothing is less useful than Santorum.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      How many times a day do you fuck your sister?

      • Daisy

        Oh, don’t be silly, it doesn’t fuck its sister. Its dick is too small for that!

    • Tishalicious

      Congratulations. Your most successful troll so far has been getting that ear worm of a theme song stuck in my head.

  • Gullah Gullah

    This guy is posting pictures of his dog and he admitting to fucking them. Disgusting.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      I think we have Russian troll grammar!

      • Nounverb911

        He’s someone’s grandmother?

        • Jennifer R

          Deep down inside.

    • sw19womble

      Ooh concern troll as opening gambit. Not too shabby, let’s see where you go with this.

      BTW I hope you’re going to be better at this than Hannah.

      Although that’s not going to be difficult.

      • shivaskeeper

        I think it is Hannah.

        • BosGrl

          Well you know she had a secret identify.

          • Gullah Gullah

            Your avi is really grossing me out.

          • Sister Artemis

            You’re a stupid mean little fuck, aren’t you?

          • BosGrl

            Thank you. I’m not trusting myself to say a word. I’m just blocking.

          • Gullah Gullah

            I might have to block you too. I can’t tell a difference between that guys dick pic on here and your avi.

          • sw19womble

            Hmm seriously creepy stalker vibe. Nope. Thanks for playing.

          • Gullah Gullah

            I don’t think you understand the meaning of the word stalker.

          • Sister Artemis

            Smart move – it gets more stupid and mean as it goes along.

          • gaybymml96

            Do I want to know the shit it dropped?

          • Sister Artemis

            No, it was mean without (probably) knowing it was mean. And low. And disgusting. And, did I say this already? MEAN!

          • bookish

            Gullah is at least two out of three.

          • HazooToo

            Yeah, I think I’m gonna send you a dick pic, too. Look! Dicki Minaj!
            http://www.yorokobu.es/wp-content/uploads/woman.jpg

      • Lizzietish81

        Wait, he isn’t the same person?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Gullah, Gullah….you’re so tired and weak, the Russians won’t even pay you…

    • shivaskeeper

      Sad troll is sad. Sad troll can’t. Sad troll wishes it had a girlfriend/boyfriend, but sad troll is to much of a beta cuck to get one. Now I’m sad.

      Oh, yeah. I’m not sad. Troll is sad.

  • Gullah Gullah

    Never enough mayo.

    • Sister Artemis

      Try Costco.

      • msanthropesmr

        Well, they have progressive labor practices, so that might not be an option.

        • sw19womble

          Yeah, Walmart or GTFO.

          • Scrofula

            Sam’s club, buddy.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Owned by Walmart. Sam Walton’s skeezy family.

          • Scrofula

            I know–it’s a fuckin WalMart outlet store. Sub-WalMart. Imagine.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Bulk Walmart. You can’t buy anything in less than Industrial sizes. Which is useful if you are feeding teenagers, but as a singleton now, not so useful.

          • Scrofula

            You’ve never bought a pallet of sweet relish just to bathe in? You’re missing out.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            I didn’t think numbers went that low.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Just guessing but this troll might be racist scum. As to its name:

      https://www.buzzfeed.com/pedrofequiere/lets-all-go-to-gullah-gullah-island?utm_term=.xhRNBOW0Qm#.wy25XZAYqr

      The dancing frog is kind of a giveaway.

      See also The Troll That Ate Gullah Gullah Island http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5769946/

      • Gullah Gullah

        Hahahahahahaha

      • shivaskeeper

        I thought it was going for Gulo gulo, taxonomic name for the wolverine but misspelled it, but then I looked up it’s spelling and it could go either way. I think you’re right though.

        • BosGrl

          There was a kids’ show on PBS? in the ’90s called Gulla Gulla Island, supposed to be one of those islands off the Carolinas. I think the avatar is one of the puppets from the show.

  • Gullah Gullah

    So he fucks his dog, and then puts pictures of it on the internet. Poor thing. I heard its fur wasn’t always curly either….gross.

  • Ωbjectifier

    At his address at Pearl Harbor today Obama said “Wars can end.”

    Can.

    • Shoto

      Go Bamz.

      We’re going to miss this classy president, and his classy family.

      • Ωbjectifier

        I found it depressing. I used to think of war as a temporary condition, not anymore.

        • TJ Barke

          War is always perpetual when you’re an empire.

          • Shoto

            Eisenhower saw it coming. I’d take Ike in a walk over the unhinged orange man-baby.

          • TJ Barke

            He’s a dirty commie compared to the loons we have now.

  • Michael R
    • msanthropesmr

      I marvel at the hair. It is some sort of miracle.

      • Edith Prickly

        The higher the hair, the closer to heaven!

      • Ezio Auditore

        It was the 1960’s I guess.

      • Tishalicious

        You type fast. I was still gaping.

      • Doug Langley

        Are the rumors true they were adapted by the NFL for helmets?

      • reelreeler

        Hair helmets

    • Sister Artemis

      One of my pals has this vintage piece of vinyl. It’s …er… interesting.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      I don’t think anyone wants to use them, the poor dears.

    • Nounverb911

      Is the one on the right Jeremy Clarkson?

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        I thought Stephen Fry.

        • Michael R

          Jay Leno

          • Nounverb911

            AOT,K?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I dunno, but her eyes are following me…

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Doug Langley

        Do I want to know why the last kid is so unhappy?

        • He chose the form of Gozer the Destroyer?

        • Suttree

          The talking kid is telling the scary story about what is going happen in the 2016 election, and the other two think it’s just a story?

    • Ωbjectifier
      • Unpresidented Ron

        The title’s pretty tone-deaf, but sheesh, they couldn’t find four identical suits in the same freaking SHADE?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      The one in the middle looks like a young Eddie Izzard.

      • therblig

        i was thinking matt damon or bruce mcculloch from kith

      • tehbaddr

        Thanx for the nightmares!

      • Penny Dreadful

        But is she an executive transvestite?

  • Hannah the French Montana

    LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Sweetie, are you lost? Should we call your mom? She might not be able to hear you from the basement with the door closed like that.

    • Shoto

      Does your mommy know you’re playing on the Internet without adult supervision?

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Lol you guys sure love your mommy jokes.

        • Lefty Wright

          No. Just concern about you running around without adult supervision.

          • Hannah the French Montana

            Never gets old does it?

        • Shoto

          It’s not a joke.

    • efoveks

      Who? You’re imaginary girlfriend from Canada?

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    JFC. I am glad that when I do attend Services, they are of the RC flavor and not these oddball things that sound like Flannery O’Connor making a joke.

  • TJ Barke

    What’s with the tedious trolls tonight?

    • msanthropesmr

      Everybody got a TRS-80 for christmas and is trying out their new 2400 baud modem.

    • Sister Artemis

      They’re working on their tediousness – getting rather good at it I suppose, though hard to pay attention, because… tedious…

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Wondering the same thing. Disturbance in the force affecting more than we thought, it would seem.

      • Gullah Gullah

        You talking about that bitch that died?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      They finally figured out how to steal the neighbor’s wi-fi?

    • Ezio Auditore

      Kremlins: Don’t tweet them after midnight

    • msanthropesmr

      What happened to the brown shirts that got everything they wanted in the election?

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        They’re bored now, they have short attention spans. You didn’t think they had something constructive to go do?

      • Jennifer R
        • Holly_Jolly_Andy_Kreiss

          Har! Thanks, hadn’t seen that one. I like that he went and got a cookie sheet for his book burning, like there’s an alt-right Hints from Heloise.

      • Holly_Jolly_Andy_Kreiss

        Most mad-sad bunch of “winners” you ever did see. That trump Hanukkah Tweeter may have been the eye opener for them.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Actually, I expected them to have a “who’s more right-wing” contest when Congress returned from recess. That they are arguing over st00pid shyt before the inauguration, gives me hope that nothing will get done. Since baiting progressives got them nowhere, they have to turn on each other. #winning

          • Holly_Jolly_Andy_Kreiss

            Almost two months since the election, and all their media-fed dreams of Play Doh and therapy dogs turned out to be another scam they fell for.

            We’re still enjoying life and laughing at them, and it’s driving them crazy(er).

        • bookish

          Yeah, that was great. They went nuts. It was glorious. More to come, since Herr Dumf seems to be pulling cabinet members randomly from his Rolodex.

          • Holly_Jolly_Andy_Kreiss

            It’s funny because they’re so slow.

            ” This thing trump did today feels like he totally chumped us. But let’s wait for it to repeat a few dozen times before we start to notice”.

      • James Peachtree

        They’re busy scaring people, flashing rebel flags and MAGA hats and the occasional Crip gang sign.

    • Shoto

      Rascal Scooter in the shop, maybe?

      • Scrofula

        Can’t Hoverround to WalMart to sell their EBT for cash to get smokes and a handle of Old Grandad. Wadda you do? Mouthwash all out.

    • sw19womble

      Trolling the Random Bollocks thread seems more a punishment for being shit at trolling earlier in the day, tbh.
      A bit like unpaid overtime.

    • Gullah Gullah

      Right? They are really starting to annoy me.

    • gaybymml96

      They’re trying to make up for the first troll.

      • shivaskeeper

        I think they are the first troll. Sockpuppets, man. Sockpuppets. Assuming they can find non crusted socks.

    • Edith Prickly

      Milo Yannofopolos has a bottle of ouzo and a lot of time on his hands…?

    • James Peachtree

      I prefer my trolls facile and unshaven. With nipple rings. But no nipples. They have to hold the rings in their hairy paws.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Somebody probably forgot to spray. Lookin’ at YOU, Mister Intern.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Maybe we need to replace “Hail to the Chief” with this one?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMUu14SqeXM

  • Gullah Gullah

    Okay I’m blocking all trolls. You are starting to really piss me off.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Well, one minor bit of brightness – Carrie Fisher had completed her scenes for Episode VIII, so we will get to see her one more time on the big screen in 2017.

    • Nounverb911

      And they’ll just CGI her into Episode 9.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Thanks for sharing. I did not know this.

    • Fuck. I just got home from Rogue One. Still crying. HOPE

    • gaybymml96

      Why won’t 2016 quit punishing us. Horrible turd of a year.

    • TJ Barke

      Just gotta retcon in her death via starship destruction or something.

      • sw19womble

        Agreed. A glorious on-screen death too.

  • Martini Ambassador
    • Scrofula

      Dude wrestled with God, doesn’t that make him Jewish?

      • BosGrl

        That makes him atheist.

        • Gosala

          Israel = wrestles with God.

          Jewish saying, “If God lived in the village, people would break his windows. ”

          Story from the Holocaust: The rabbis in the camp gathered on a Friday afternoon to judge God for his role in their suffering.

          As the sun went down, their debates ended, they reached their decision: Guilty.

          Then they went out to prepare for the sabbath.

          The relationship between the Jews and their God is complicated.

          • BosGrl

            Thanks for that explanation. Seriously, I barely made it to my own confirmation.

        • anwisok

          Nope. Can’t deny the existence of a being with whom you’ve wrestled.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Oh, heavens.

    • BosGrl

      Not trying to be a smartass but how does the guy with no limbs play the keyboard?

      • Martini Ambassador

        This is a good question…

        • BosGrl

          I mean if he had toes or some kind of prosthetic. It’s not like a computer keyboard; several notes have to be hit at once.

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        There’s a dick joke in there somewhere.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Yada yada yada, doctor says you’ll never play piano again!

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            Will I be able to play the piano after the surgery, Doc?

            Yes.

            Great! I never could before!

      • TJ Barke

        He’s got nubs.

      • sw19womble

        He’s got a smart ass?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Quietly.

        • Vincent Ricola

          I laughed inappropriately hard at this comment.

      • therblig

        organ music?

    • Sister Artemis

      The one with the bus is my fave. And Jesus looks kinda grumpy.

    • Ωbjectifier

      I can’t wait to hear Ira’s thoughts on femininity.

    • BosGrl

      I really wish we could hear Ira North’s ideas on womanhood…

      • Ωbjectifier

        Owe me a coke!

    • Michael R
    • BosGrl

      Still cannot find out how Little Richard Miller somehow coaxed music from the organ. His book is on Amazon, though.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4057fd5e1235886e433f4933f8a5f4cb077b6782c8a922fe9e249afd4eb3b8b5.jpg

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Their Freudian slips are showing.

  • Nounverb911
    • Gullah Gullah

      2016 was a spectacular year.

    • sw19womble

      Just one in the stink.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      This will be my profile picture this weekend. Fer shur.

  • Hannah the French Montana

    Okay guys. Its been fun. I’ll be back later.

    • Lefty Wright

      Don’t bother. Quitter.

      • Hannah the French Montana

        Gotta clean the house. Then it’s pussy grabbing time.

        • bookish

          Liar.

        • Oh, so you’re taking yourself out with the rest of the white trash?

        • Lefty Wright

          So the cat should be safe for a couple of weeks. But be careful when you grab the pussy. Cats have sharp teeth and claws. Grab them the wrong way and you will get hurt.

        • Jennifer R

          Nice that you keep up with your family.

        • Juan de Fuca

          There are programs available:

          http://www2.ed.gov/programs/trioupbound/index.html

          Not judging because I would’ve went for it when I was your age.

          • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

            Six?

          • Juan de Fuca

            I was thinking 14.

        • Lizzietish81

          Damn Milo, has the abuse gotten that bad?

        • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

          It appears you’re going to have your hands full. There’s so many places you can grab yourself.

        • tehbaddr

          Be sure to wear that little French Maid costume the boys love!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Seriously. Low energy. Sad.

      • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

        He was a charming young fellow, wasn’t he?

        • Lefty Wright

          Yes. Definitely going places. Hopefully far, far from here.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            He’s definitely going places. I wish he’d leave NOW.

    • HazooToo
      • jowgajen

        This is someone’s “interesting” hobby.

        • HazooToo
          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            That’s pretty funny. And it’s her JOB.

          • HazooToo

            Seriously, I don’t like dick, but I could do that job all fucking day! So lucky.

          • jowgajen

            That was a really interesting internet digression. I did not previously consider that someone would create variations on old masters nudes using a photomosaics entirely of dick pics.

  • Ezio Auditore
    • I loved the movie on the right. It was hilarious

      • sw19womble

        Is that Swiss Army Man? I haven’t seen it yet.

        • Yes. Strongly recommend

          • sw19womble

            Great! The trailers looked great, but am askeerd of being let down by cop-out test screen audiences. :/

          • Nope. It starts disturbed and bent and continues to get weird

          • sw19womble

            *rushes around house looking for prized pair of outside pants*

    • Michael R
      • Ezio Auditore

        Wow, these are better special effects than Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

    • Gullah Gullah

      Too much mayo?

      • HazooToo
        • James Peachtree

          Are those kosher?

          • Nope, but are totes Halal

          • HazooToo

            They are lightly salted, but uncircumcised.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Uncircumsized for extra protein.

      • tehbaddr

        That’s what everybody thinks when they see…. YOUR MOM!!!!1!11111!!

  • BMW

    So “PBS Newshour” did a thing about the allegations against the Trump Foundation tonight, so it hasn’t disappeared off the radar completely. I really want someone to say “Why didn’t the media tell us this before the election?” so I can flip-out on them.

    • BosGrl

      David Farenthold did… but not enough news outlets picked up on it, or not the ones Trump voters watched/read.

      • Shoto

        Wait: Drumpf voters can read?

        • TJ Barke

          Only things approved by the Minitru.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      The “foundation” is still under investigation by the NY AG, so no, it’s not disappearing. The media did mention it before the election, but there were many much more important things that needed to be mentioned about emails and Hillary’s foundation many many many more times.

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s all well and good that he’s supposedly going to dissolve the charitable foundation that he apparently doesn’t donate to anyway. It’s a step. But I think we all know he was going to dissolve it so he could shred the financial records. It’s good that the NY AG is stopping him.

      We cannot get distracted by the fact that the charity is the least of the conflicts of interest this fucking guy has and he has no plans on doing anything about the rest of them at all. This seems to me to have been a botched attempt at a distraction from that. Especially the wording used, ‘to avoid even the appearance of a conflict of interest.” etc…. The business issues are the real conflicts, not the charity. He could possibly go to jail for dicking around with the charity money, but we could possibly go to war over his business conflicts.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        What is disturbing is that the Trump Foundation was as grifty as they got. Now Uday and Qusay will be getting a Master Class from the major grifters that haven’t been so easily caught. Or maybe not. The “win a date with Ivanka” and “win a date to kill animals” games were weak.

        • shivaskeeper

          They were weak attempts overall, but it feels like the sort of thing that would be their normal M.O. I have a feeling there is going to be more along those lines in the near future at least. They aren’t used to working in the spotlight.

          The question is going to be how quickly they adapt the grifting to being highly visible. Daddy trump will be unable to I think. Either he’s too set in his ways, or he’s got some sort of dementia going on. The kids are going to have to crawl back into the dark to get the money again, and I think they will. The sons will at least. Ivanka is going to be to high profile.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Apparently many Trump voters were just not paying attention to a shocking degree — Slate did a piece recently on pro-Obamacare voters who cast their ballot for Trump. Many were shocked and disappointed to learn that he wasn’t in favor of keeping it.

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Yes. They’re the same people who wonder where the sun went every night.

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          The sun comes up, the sun goes down. You can’t explain it.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            Worse, when it comes up IT’S IN A DIFFERENT PLACE THAN WHERE IT WENT DOWN!

      • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

        I don’t think it was not paying attention. The charmers who voted for him were too stupid to realize they were being played.

        It’s said that there were a lot of educated people who voted for the schmuck.

        Being educated doesn’t always equate to having common sense.

        A person can be a card carrying MENSA member, but if they lack common sense, all the intelligence in the universe is worthless.

  • HazooToo

    Btw, my fellow Wonkers: If I have displeased anyone who actually matters with my dick pics tonight, I do apologize. I tried to pick cute ones. But there’s only so much you can do to dress up a dick. If anyone was truly bothered, just say the word and I will give up on sending dick pics to trolls.

    • BosGrl

      I think they are funny.

    • anwisok

      I am only disappointed that I saw no Salted Rat Dicks.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      No, post as many as you like.
      When I search “cute dick pics” I get, er, different sorts of pictures, though, for some reason. I probably shouldn’t post any of them.

      • Jennifer R

        Pretty sure that is a rather robust tag on fetlife.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Rule 34, man. Rule 34.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Don’t bother me none. Though, I did have to double check to make sure your nym wasn’t Carlos Danger.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      You’re good with me.

    • Sister Artemis

      I really liked the one in the trench coat. Made me think of some private DICK or something! Loved it, keep it up!

      See, this is the different between boring trolls, and clever vulgarity.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Wait. I missed dick pics? Those are my favorite. Freaking figures stupid 2016 :(.

      • HazooToo

        Scroll down, they’re still poking out atcha!

    • James Peachtree

      On the contrary, I like them. A lot! A lot! A lot! Too much, maybe. Are you taking requests?

    • Anna Rompage

      If it’s gonna be that kind of party, I might just stick my dick in the mashed potatoes! ;)

    • Unpresidented Ron

      I’d personally prefer if you didn’t. To my mind it crosses some difficult-to-define line. But I will go with the consensus here.

      • HazooToo

        I will cease! I don’t want to upset even one Wonker in my quest to troll the trolls. I knew it was close to the line, myself, which is why I asked.

  • WomanInTheResistance

    What’s with all the unwelcome guests tonight?

  • Martini Ambassador
    • TJ Barke

      Leia never actually met Obi-Wan.

    • Gullah Gullah

      Now she’s in hell covered in mayo.

      • tehbaddr

        Keep yer perversion to YOURSELF! Unless you’ve got some of your own slash you’d like to share.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      In a very strange way that is actually making me feel better.

  • tehbaddr

    YAMMMER YAMMER! ROBBLE ROBBLE! ONE OF US ONE OF US!

  • Michael R
    • Ωbjectifier

      Wookie hug!

  • our trolls used to be so much more amusing. these trolls are seriously vapid

    it is of course donald trump’s fault.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      I blame Bannon.

    • HazooToo

      THANKS, DONALD!

    • Michael R
    • Gullah Gullah

      The trolls are just working with their source material.

      • James Peachtree

        Yes! Exactly. Now that Trump says we have to source everything from America, it takes longer.

      • SayItWithWookies

        So you’re as dumb as your momma?

        • Gullah Gullah

          Lol what is up with this website and momma jokes?

          • HazooToo
          • Gullah Gullah

            I’m only 14. I’m telling you this now so if you do this again, you’ll be raided.

          • HazooToo
          • Gullah Gullah

            Try it. I’ll report you to the fbi.

          • HazooToo

            I get it, you don’t like human dick. How about some educational dick, then? This is what a bat dick looks like! http://i.imgur.com/SseU4GV.jpg

          • Gullah Gullah

            Lol keep the dick pics cummning. Getting cynmac to take me seriously was good enough for me.

          • HazooToo

            Aww, baaaabe, NO one takes you seriously! We’re all just toying with you, like a cat with a half-skinned shrew, until Dok arrives to put you out of your misery. You and your friends will be rounded up and mocked next Sunday, but only if you prove yourselves worthy. Impress us! This is your last chance to drop some truly epic derp!

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I guess Gullah Squared didn’t get the memo that we are not just a Mommyblog, but also too A Snark Mob known for our Dick Jokes. I think you hurt its fee-fees.
            https://my.churpchurp.com/images/stories/thumbnails/175312.jpg

          • Gullah Gullah

            Wait? You’re taking me seriously? Hahahahahahaha

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Not seriously. It’s more laughing at you, not with you. We devolve into Dick Jokes a lot. Even pretend disgust is laughable.

          • HazooToo

            Sounds like the little yellow piece of shit should go find a safe space.

          • mailman27

            “Somone?” You cannot be serious.

      • anwisok

        I can empathize, almost. I mean, when Trumplethinskin is the inspirational figure for your movement, you really don’t have much to draw on.

        • Gullah Gullah

          And when Hillary and her supporters are your only material to work with, you don’t have to try very hard.

      • tehbaddr

        You really are no fun.

    • James Peachtree

      Um, yeah. So, I was going to be all like, “Oh yeah! Well Obama!” However, I wondered if you might call me out, put me on the spot, so to write, for not knowing what “vapid” means. Maybe you were being nice. And here I am being all, “Obama!” right to your face and stuff. So then I was all like telling myself, Don’t write anything. Don’t write anything. Just read softly and carry a big grudge.

      • Sister Artemis

        Did you look up “Vapid?” It’s a seriously useful word, plus you can wordplay with “Vape” when need be.
        “VAPID: Offering nothing that is stimulating or challenging.”

        • James Peachtree

          I steadfastly refuse to look up words. As a pig wallows in mud, so I wallow in … um … what’s that word? It means like, not knowledgeable. You know. Like, you use it when you don’t know something … or anything really … dang it … oh yeah! Democrat.

          • sw19womble

            Cool story, Gullah

          • James Peachtree

            You mad, feller?

          • Sister Artemis

            yawn. why can’t we ever get clever conservatives around here? just boring trolls…

          • James Peachtree

            There are no clever conservatives! Don;t you listen to your media overlords? Sheesh!

          • Msgr_MΩment

            There were two of them on the Ark. Neither got laid.

          • or at least witty ones.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Are they actually trolling each other Upthread? Or is it one lonely guy in a trailer by the river?

          • phoenix00

            None left. Trump grabbed all their pussies.

          • cmd resistor

            No such thing.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            I would love a good debate with an intelligent, articulate, educated conservative.
            … hmm, I think I see the problem with that.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I had to block FB notifications for one of my Republican friends. Not because of his posts but because of the comments.

          • mailman27

            You “wallow in Democrat?” You lost your way between subject and object. Go back to wandering in the wilderness. Come back when you have a clue.

      • TJ Barke

        Why don’t you get a constructive hobby?

        • James Peachtree

          I work with leather. And lace. It’s not what you think. I run a custom lingerie boutique for gerbils. (Maybe it is what you think.)

        • Msgr_MΩment

          You can only masturbate so much before your skin’s too chapped.

          • James Peachtree

            I’ll tell you what worked for me, a little squirt of WD-40 right in the old helmet.

          • TJ Barke

            Ain’t that the truth…

      • while i appreciate the attempt, you sir are no nadine.

    • Yr. Gma

      I know. They don’t even try. Junior high potty mouth humor is the best they can do.

  • Rick Hill
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Akbar, too?! When and where is the sushi wake?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Wasabi the matter with you?

        • phoenix00

          It was rice while it lasted.

    • phoenix00

      So he finally fell into the trap…..

  • Shibusa
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Red Baron!

    • TJ Barke

      Puggenbacher?

  • Vicious Babushka
  • idiotboy

    It has taken a few years for me to stop responding to trolls, and I fall by the wayside still. But really it is the only response.

  • TJ Barke

    I bet Anthony Daniels will be next.

    • Jennifer R

      Peter Mayhew has been a combination of poor and sick for years.

      • TJ Barke

        I still bet it’ll be Daniels.

    • sw19womble

      That old queen will be the last one standing, if only out of spite for the rest of the original cast.

    • James Peachtree

      Morbid.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    I needed a hymn tonight. So it’s Saint Freddy!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kijpcUv-b8M&index=1&list=RDkijpcUv-b8M

  • Nounverb911

    In other non-troll news, Paul Ryan’s fee fees were hurt when the Dems held a sit-in in the House, now he’s changing the rules which will probably only apply to the Dems…

    https://twitter.com/NYMag/status/813917581782503425

    • TJ Barke

      There was a whole thread about that earlier.

    • Anna Rompage

      Jr should read the 1st fucking amendment of the US….

      Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
      prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of
      speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to
      assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

      • TJ Barke

        Jr should be up against the wall as a fascist collaborator.

        • Anna Rompage

          Oh, can I use a cattle prod or taser on him, with votes? Pretty pretty pretty please….

          I promise to recite to him my feelings that shock treatment of votes is much more nourishing than the word of his god, or food for that matter

      • Jennifer R

        Free speech zones.

    • SayItWithWookies

      It’s the rise of the nanny-state Republicans — all up in everybody’s business for freedom.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Soviet Republicans.

      • TJ Barke

        Soviet libel?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well of course – because the Speaker has control of the C-SPAN cameras on the floor he’ll leave them on when they want to grandstand and then shut them off when the Dems try to respond.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Wouldn’t want the rubes to see what legislating looks like really happens on the House floor.

      • Nounverb911

        Worse than making sausages….

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Understanding Otoplasty Just sayin’ ….

    • TheBoatDude

      Isn’t that C SPAN?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The GOP cut off C-SPAN so the Dems livestreamed. Whatever. Congress and Senate will be under a microscope like they don’t even know yet. Ryan will have wished he has quit.

    • Yr. Gma

      Douche.

  • Anna Rompage

    Thank god, finally got my new router installed! What a total pain in the ass!

    On a side note, one of my cowrokers tried to make 8 pound prime rib for Christmas dinner and followed a very dubious recipe… Heat oven to 500 degrees, leave oven on 1 minute for every pound, then turn oven off. Leave roast in over for 3 hours and wham-o, it’s done, that is if you like siting around for hours on end all just to eat raw roast beefs….

    For fucks sake, a very expensive lesson that you cannot believe everything on the interwebs

    • Nounverb911

      I used Julia Child’s recipe, works beautifully every time.

    • SayItWithWookies

      That recipe would probably work…if your house was on fire when you started.

      • Anna Rompage

        Pretty much, I did an eight pound bone in standing rib roast and it was 30 min at 450, then 2 hours at 325, until the inner 3rd was at 125 degrees.

        Came out perfectly

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      My mom knew one of the cooks at the casino in our hometown, and he gave us the recipe for a really tender prime rib like they serve at the buffet. We had it for Christmas dinner. Meat just fell right off the bone.

    • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

      I have a different recipe that actually came with the roast. It doesn’t matter what the size is.

      Rub with salt and pepper, Put it in the oven at 375 for one hour. Turn the oven off and leave it in the oven until you are ready to eat.

      It has never failed me yet. We cook two big rib roasts like this every x-mas. It was 27 pounds of beef between the both of them.

    • phoenix00

      Geez I would’ve done that for you in 15 mins!

      (the router, not the prime rib)

      • Cogswell Happy Ne, never mind.

        Well you could do the roast in 15 minutes at 3,000 degrees.

      • Anna Rompage

        The tricky part is I changed the network name and default password, so with every switch, I had to go in and “forget the network” and then redo it all…

        And for some reason, my computer would not foregt the old shit unless I rebooted it with every change

        • phoenix00

          I usually set new routers with the same name & password as the old one so it’s turn-on-and-go. Doesn’t happen that way all the time, but hey I tried :x

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      I’ve seen that method before but it was for roasting a whole beef tenderloin. It works too. Prime rib is much thicker so I don’t see that ever producing anything but raw meat.

      • Anna Rompage

        Yes, you can use this method, but it takes more than 8 minutes of cook time unless you have a tiny piece of meat, and it’s tricky in that if it’s under done, you’ve just waited 3 hours for you dinner tat will take another hour or two to finish up…

        Great for a cook that does this on a daily basis as they can dial in the time and temp, not so great for someone who doesn’t own a meat thermometer and who’s never cooked a prime rib before

    • Scrofula

      It’s not totally off the wall, but it’s a little too slick to be trusted. I mean, it’s all gonna depend on how insulated your oven is.

    • mailman27

      NO,NO,NO!!! 500 degrees @ 5 min/pound. Allow 2 or 3 min. for loss of temp. when you open the oven door. Leave the oven door closed for 2 hours afterwards no matter what the weight is. SO– 5 lb roast? Preheat to 500. Cook @500 for 25 min. Shut off heat. Leave oven door closed for two hrs. Take out roast, let it settle, and dig in. I’ve done this 8-10 times and it always works. FIVE min/lb. It will be rare, so good.

  • Gullah Gullah

    Did Jesus eat mayo?

    • Anna Rompage

      You can call Judas’s spunk anything you’d like….

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Bitter?

        • Jennifer R

          No artificial sugar and a minimal amount of red meat, I suspect cum from that period would be rather nutty tasting, to perhaps sweet for the upper class actually.

  • James Peachtree

    Dear President Trump,

    Thank you for being you. No matter what it does to the stock price of the large pharmaceutical that sells Zoloft, please make these people happier. Amen.

    Forever yours,
    Jesus

    • Scrofula

      FYI Zoloft is generic now. About $20/month for 200mg/day. Just in case anyone felt a need.

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Generic name is Sertraline. I get it for $1.25 with my insurance copay.

        • Scrofula

          Yes, I get it free now with MediCal. The price I quoted is the no-insurance cash price I paid before O-Care.

          Of course, nearly all your standard SSRIs are generic now. Escitalopram being the new ripoff of generic citalopram.

          So, don’t worry about costs, folks, if you’re thinking of making an appointment.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Abilify – generic is $300/MONTH. GENERIC!!

          • Scrofula

            Ouch. I checked, and it just went off-label. I dunno, give it a few months? Its also got a smaller market than the SSRIs.
            Soon they’ll put Zoloft in the drinking water (and then sell more Viagra to counter it).

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Oryx and Crake Libelz!!!!111!
            And I’m on Seroquel instead, which works okay.

    • Nounverb911
    • Résistance Land Shark
    • Unpresidented Ron

      My, don’t we feel clever tonight.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Ugh I searched and searched and there are no animal onesies left in XXL, except at Targets far from me. :(

    • Daisy

      That sucks! :(

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Maybe I’ll have to go on an adventure!

        • Daisy

          Adventures can be fun! :)

        • Unpresidented Ron

          I highly recommend adventures for clearing out the cobwebs and putting a but of fizz in the blood. Gets you away from the computer, too.

    • Gullah Gullah

      Lose some weight then.

      • Go fuck yourself…like every other day.

        • Gullah Gullah

          Tell that to fatty over here. At least it’s a form of exercise.

          • You are an example of what’s wrong with America. Dok, swing away

          • Gullah Gullah

            Yeah. A canadian is what’s wrong with america. You got me.

          • efoveks

            Irrelevant. Which you would know if you had gone to school.

          • Gullah Gullah

            Those damn australians. They are what’s wrong with america. I know it’s irrelevant but man oh man ain’t it the truth.

          • efoveks

            Australians? ????? Now you don’t like Australians????

          • Gullah Gullah

            Irrelevant.

          • efoveks

            As are you.

          • Gullah Gullah

            Obviously not.

          • efoveks

            You are a moment’s entertainment. And irrelevant.

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHA!

          • Gullah Gullah

            Yet here you are. Moment moment after moment. Constantly replying to me about how irrelevant I am. You got me.

          • Gullah Gullah

            moment

          • Gullah Gullah

            moment.

          • Just send him some pets.

          • efoveks

            There is no animal on this planet that I hate that much.

          • I was thinking something typically Aussie

          • Gullah Gullah

            Some guy was posting pictures of his dog earlier and bragging about fucking it.

          • mailman27

            Come on, get this idiot outta here. GG is not even clearing the lowest bar.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            I blocked its pathetic ass right at the beginning. Trolls can be mildly amusing, but this twelfth-rate Don Rickles isn’t worth wasting screen pixels on.

          • efoveks

            Ted Cruz?

          • Gullah Gullah

            Kevin from the office?

          • efoveks

            YOU? You are definitely what is wrong with America.

          • Gullah Gullah

            Awwwww. You know what’s actually wrong with america? The obesity problems.

          • efoveks

            You’re a big fat problem….

          • Gullah Gullah

            Extra extra large.

          • efoveks

            Fatty? That MUST be you.

        • Yr. Gma

          They must fuck themselves because certainly no one else ever will.

      • efoveks

        Go home. You are out past your bedtime.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        What a sad little person you are. IOLC has friends. People who care about that person. I am profoundly grateful that I am not you, and I pity you. And now I’m going to block you, because you are simply not worth spending any time with.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        It’s not for me, it’s for a friend. I literally just walked over a mile and half so maybe you should stop posting here and do a workout in your mom’s basement? I have some great yoga videos to recommend.

        • Gullah Gullah

          Hahaha another mom’s basement comment. You fatties sure do love talking about mom’s basements.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            You have some serious projection issues. I exercise more and lift more than you do. Calm down.

          • Gullah Gullah

            Lmfao now that is funny. Yeah bro, you lift. I bet you get tons of puss too.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I’m female. God you’re dumb.

          • Gullah Gullah

            Oh shit. Sorry I didn’t read the “I am a female” comment before this. My bad. That’s seriously my bad.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I’m also asexual and my boyfriend is constantly hitting on me. Three strikes, you’re out. Thanks for playing.

          • Gullah Gullah

            For a moment there I thought you were going to tell me you were a bi transexual.

          • Treg Brown

            Block him IOLC. You deserve better than this. *hug*

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender
      • Shoto

        Get out, asshole. You’re not welcome here. Period. Full stop.

        • Gullah Gullah

          -hurt

          • Shoto

            You heard me.

          • Gullah Gullah

            Actually, no I didn’t. I did read your comment though.

          • anwisok

            Yeah, that’s a tell. Sockpuppet for sure.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Does Target have a “ship to store” option, so you can get them to move it to a nearer store?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Not available for those items (they are in clearance because stores have decided that’s a seasonal item). Why did someone start commenting on my weight when I told you guys I was on my way to get a Christmas present?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Because they want attention, and they have all of the morals and dignity of the common slime mold.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Slime mold libelz!

          • theCryptofishist

            Common libellz, also, too!!!1

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          Just a nasty little immature troll. Ignore it. I’m flagging it furiously. Or furiously flagging it.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

          • anwisok

            Flagged posts still not showing up the dashboard, It’s ridiculously behind on updating – only shows this post to have 38 comments. If you don’t want to wait, probably need to email Dok and hope he’s paying attention to his email. Sorry.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Would that be OK with him? I know how hard you all work to keep this place going, and if he has some well-deserved downtime, well….

          • Dok is nice over the emails. I hit him up over a disqus problem not long after i got going here and he was superawesomesauce

          • anwisok

            If he sees it, it would take him all of 2 minutes to grab the banhammer and swing it. If he isn’t checking his email, well, you didn’t bother him, did you? Need to provide links to the posts, though, since they aren’t showing up yet. Wish Pinkie could swing it/Overjoyed that he doesn’t have to. #conflicted.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I have the technological skills of a very bright four year old. And I’ve also blocked the more egregious of our infestation. Suggestions, please?

          • anwisok

            Go to one of the posts you want to report.

            You see where it says “Share” right under it, by the up/down vote arrows?

            Mouse over it and it will generate a “link”.

            Click “share” and it should copy the link, which you can then paste into your email. 60 percent of the time, it works all of the time!

          • WomanInTheResistance

            G squared has been blocked by me, prematurely it appears. But thank you for this – while Disqus is in a mood, I now know how to deal with human pustules in the future.

          • anwisok

            I’m really not joking about the “60% of the time” thing. I’m sure you’ll be shocked – SHOCKED, I say! – to find that Disqus doesn’t always work as designed. You may need to try copying it 2 or 3 times before it works. *shrug*

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            And maybe refresh, if Disgust doesn’t refresh itself at random times anyway.

        • Amy!

          Oh, that’s an infestation. It’ll go away, sooner or later. It’s not very bright, and can’t read threads to find out what you posted earlier, so. We seem to have a pair of them tonight. Together they might achieve sentience, if you sort of sautéed their brains (together) in whatever the trendy brain-food drug is.

        • gaybymml96

          Block this fuckface – IOLC. Cut this crapturd out.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Because some people are assholes. Assholes who will do anything for attention. If it’s hurtful, they feel even better. Because they are sad, pathetic losers. I wish it were as easy as ignoring them, but personal attacks are not easy to just blow off. Know that you are loved and respected here. And that these wierd people will never know what that feels like.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Oh I’m fine. I’m feel like I’m too old to be body shamed. Especially since I am healthy and plenty attractive to Future Mr. Cats. I hope no one else that message to heart though. 2x is a normal size.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I’m glad to hear that, because I think you’re lovely. But the intent was to hurt. And that can be unsettling. And 2x is just fine.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            Funny, innit, how humans seem to be the only species that DOESN’T think bigger is better?
            Ages ago I learned to deal with my size (and strength – carrying over an eighth of a ton around does wonders for the muscles) by realising that I was normal sized, and everyone else was too small.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Well that’s very time and place specific. Lillian Russell, a star of the stage in the late 19th century and considered one of the great beauties of her time, was about 200 lbs.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            This is true. ‘Skinny’ used to mean ‘poor, not ‘supermodel.’

          • theCryptofishist

            And, it’s always projection with these asshole, always.

        • Daisy

          Oh, fuck, the troll got nasty, didn’t it? *makes hot chocolate and passes it over*

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          St00pid troll is St00pid.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      JC Penny has a unicorn onsie.

      http://m.jcpenney.com/one-piece-pajamas/prod.jump?ppId=ppr5007173553&country=US&currency=USD&selectedSKUId=11401850083&selectedLotId=1140185&fromBag=true&quantity=1&cm_mmc=ShoppingFeed-_-GooglePLA-_-Pet%20Clothes-_-11401850083&utm_medium=cse&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=pet%20clothes&utm_content=11401850083&cid=cse%7Cgoogle%7C001%20-%20womens%20specialty%7Cpet%20clothes_11401850083&gclid=COO319_tldECFcW6wAoduCYIGA&kwid=productads-adid%5E149409014089-device%5Et-plaid%5E76121677298-sku%5E11401850083-adType%5EPLA

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie
  • TheBoatDude

    Name for a band: Jesus and the Fishsticks

    Anyway, in regards to the incongruent loss of talent this year, my atheish self is wondering whether some universal force is taking all of the good talent out so they don’t have to witness the 24-hour revolving clusterfuck we’re about to face in the next four years.

    It’s been a weird fucking year, friends and neighbors. My brother died rather unnecessarily and unexpectedly this summer and I’ve been experiencing not a sharp pain, but rather a decentralized sadness ever since. Mom, who never took good care do herself to begin with, is deteriorating under depression because of this, but refuses to get readily, easily available help. So the Christmas visit was just tits. Of course, she wasn’t that great of a mother growing up, so I’m not entirely inclined to go much out of my way to help sort this…some shit doesn’t go away because people get old and the oldest sons dies..not fair to dump it on the youngest , ya know?

    Sorry to dump all of this on you…carry on…

    ETA: Hey, everyone, thanks for the condolensces and well wishes, even though comments are not allowed…

    ETA2: Seeing this in the Disqus comments, it looks like my first line says “Jesus and the Fucksticks” which I think is even better, IMO…

    • Anna Rompage

      I wanted to start a pizza chain called Cheezus Crust….

      • anwisok

        Will it have a basement? Asking for a friend. For, uh, reasons.

        • bookish

          Hey…

    • bookish

      Sorry to hear of your sadness and loss.

    • anwisok

      Not the first to use the Commentariat as a place for group therapy. It’s a pretty good support group.

      I’m sad to hear you’re going through all that.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Dude, that is truly awful. I’m sorry that you are having to deal with this.

    • Big hugs dude. Big hugs.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Except what you’ve been through with your brother, you could be telling my life story. Hang in there and be with people who care for you as much as you can.

    • gaybymml96

      Oh buddy – I am so so sorry. Do you have any support systems near you?

      I always ask because they’re always there for you – and will give you the best of help. And you will need professional help. It’ll be worth it.

      • TheBoatDude

        Thanks. Yes, I have EAP through my company and my GF has been rock solid through all of this. I saw the therapist for some weeks during the summer and then tapered off. She randomly shot me an e mail the week before Christmas asking if I needed a session…I though I was OK enough until I saw the e mail…then it started to hurt, so I scheduled something. It’s a process, you know? Muppets sister in law is having a tougher time, but she’s starting to get out and relearn her own life…

    • BosGrl

      TBD, I am so sorry for your loss. If I’ve learned anything over the last almost-month, it is that the pain and guilt you feel as a parent, especially a mother, is like nothing else when you lose a child, no matter the age. Maybe she doesn’t want help because she doesn’t think she deserves to feel better.

      Try to get some help for yourself. Certainly everyone here is awesome, but if you are inclined, a good therapist or group therapy can do wonders. You can talk about your anger and sadness in a safe place with other people who are going through the same thing.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        Also, too, it is OK to try antidepressants if the sadness keeps going on. I think sometimes the brain chemistry gets stuck and needs an assist to normalize. And we learned downthread that some of them are cheap now!

        • efoveks

          You learn some crazy, useful stuff here. :)

        • BosGrl

          Definitely!

      • TheBoatDude

        Thanks. I lined up a therapist through Company EAP…actually before he died (there were a few days when he was only paralyzed from the waist down, unexpectedly, but had a good prognosis…that jacked me up somewhat…). Going back to see her after the beginning of the year…

        OK, so semi funny tie in….when I first met the therapist, she reminded me of Carrie Fisher when she was in Austin Powers, as Dr Evils therapist…so I always have that thought going through my mind…sort of like my brother is playing some cosmic joke on me, which is amusing…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Grief hits people differently, and it’s okay to talk about it (whether with others or with trained professionals). We’ve been pulling each other up around here for a good while now, and we all bring our own experiences and training to the table.
      You do your best to hold on, but if you need to get help, do so.

    • Shoto

      You’re not dumping, you’re sharing. It’s brave and courageous.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      I’m sorry this sadness has visited you and hope it moves out soon.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Dump away, bro. We got broad shoulders around here, and misery shared is misery halved.

    • shivaskeeper

      This is generally a good place to dump things like this. Dump away.

  • TJ Barke
  • Nounverb911
    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Baldwin has been killing it lately.

  • Ilgattomorte

    The fact is Jesus had a really shitty birthday.

    First, his parents don’t make a reservation – on Christmas. What assholes. So the accommodations are really crappy. The place literally smelled like shit and was bug infested. You don’t even want to know about the YELP reviews.

    They invite a bunch of people, it’s mostly family, relatives and a few local politicians, but not one other kid. Frankly, it was just a bunch of old Jews. And, the presents? They got nothing but practical gifts, things like gold, frankensence and myrrh. Not one single toy. What a ripoff. It’s like everybody asked his grandmom for gift ideas.

    So now, the evening is coming to a close and up walks this little kid with a drum. That motherfucker just keeps pounding on that thing like a moron. Pa-rum-pa-pa-pum, pa-rum-pa-pa-pum, over and over again until you can’t think. Everybody wanted to kill him.

    I’m telling you, it’s no wonder the poor little bastard disappeared when he was a kid and didn’t show up again until he was thirty.

    • suziq

      If you want to know what Jesus was up to during those “missing” years I highly recommend the book LAMB by Christopher Moore. One of my favorites, really funny and not that I would care if it was, but it isn’t disrespectful or anything. Unlike that church sign-I am not a perv, that sign is just. Something.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        “Lamb” is hilarious! And rather moving.

    • phoenix00

      Surprised he didn’t say “Crucify me nooooow!” the moment he learned how to talk.

  • Résistance Land Shark

    Brawls, false gun reports shutter crowded malls across US Monday Boxing Day is the new Black-Eye Friday …

  • sw19womble

    In honour of Richard Adams (Watership Down), who passed away at the ripe old age of 96 yesterday, and for Carrie Fisher, George Michael and indeed everyone else – well-known or not – whom 2016 took out in a final leg-sweep:
    https://twitter.com/StigAbell/status/813806705263906816

    Nighty night.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Good night, wombles.

    • gaybymml96

      Night Wombles

    • theCryptofishist

      (Adams actually died on Saturday, but I don’t blame the family for not announcing it right away.)

  • Gullah Gullah

    Fat people are disgusting.

    • HazooToo
      • Gullah Gullah

        So you post pictures of dicks, and kids. Weird. Very weird.

      • tehbaddr

        Don’t feed it. It’s very low energy, sad.

        • gaybymml96

          Failing KKK troll failing Bigly.

          • phoenix00

            Nah this is just a kid dropped on his head too many times.

        • HazooToo

          I tried to encourage it to post something worthy of our Sunday round-up, but it doesn’t seem to have the talent! :(

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Surprised that one was able to take such a flattering photo.

    • Anna Rompage

      Nah, not really, but judgmental assholes are….

      • Gullah Gullah

        I can stop judging quickly. Stop typing, or shut my mouth. Fat people are still fat.

        • Anna Rompage

          Meh, not a big deal, though being a total judgemental asshole is…

          Let me ask you, how does someone elses appearance directly effect you, where as your dickish comments do effect those who might personalize your stupid, immature & judgemental insults…

          • Gullah Gullah

            Someone being fat causes me to feel sick. It’s traumatizing.

          • Anna Rompage

            Perhaps you should grow the fuck up then…

            I bet if we sat in a room together, I couple pick your appearance to pieces, but I wouldn’t, because that’s my own shit, and has nothing to do with you

          • Gullah Gullah

            You could pick my appearance apart all you wanted to. I’ve grown up. Words do not hurt me.

          • Anna Rompage

            You seem a bit uptight, almost like you could very well be a total asshole, so here, take a toke, and chill the fuck out…
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reTx5sqvVJ4

          • Gullah Gullah

            You’re fat too huh?

          • Anna Rompage

            6’2″ and 175 mother fucker…

          • Gullah Gullah

            You’re a big ass woman.

          • gaybymml96

            Time to use the Block-nator, Anna…

          • Gullah Gullah

            Do it. I’ll be back.

          • Anna Rompage

            Ah, the sweet relief of the block-nator…

            Why it’s almost as fun as the Ban Hammer

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I had to hit the Block button too.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I see your Sir Mix-a-lot and raise you one Freddie.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

          • Gullah Gullah

            He got covered in mayo and died.

          • Anna Rompage

            Well played!

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I myself prefer something more classic.

            https://youtu.be/7qDgCmzh5ao

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            We don’t care. STFU & GTFO.

          • theCryptofishist

            Well, I’d have some compassion if he admitted he was fat.

            Okay, I have a smidgeon of compassion that he’s got all this self-hatred, but I’d have more if he admitted he’s fat.

    • Lizzietish81

      Lame, you’re not even trying.

      • Gullah Gullah

        Neither were your parents but here you are.

        • Anna Rompage

          Perhaps you should just move the fuck along…

          Unless I am misperceiving this, I don’t really think you’ll all that welcome here…

          • Gullah Gullah

            I’m not? Holy shit this is news to me. Like for realz. I thought you guys have been begging for me to stay…..

            Dumbass lmfao

        • Lizzietish81

          Actually they weren’t.

          WAs that supposed to be an insult?

    • particolored

      You’re a very boring troll, troll. You need to come up with better material than this.

  • BadKitty904

    The owls are unusually fractious this evening. I blame Trump.

    • gaybymml96

      Don’t we always?

      • BadKitty904

        Yes. And properly so.

    • Sounds alt-right there.

    • Lizzietish81

      They’re not what they seem

      • BadKitty904

        They’re certainly damned loud.

        • Daisy