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Happier Days.
Happier Days.

Scott Baio was having a bad day. He had gone to every Starbucks in a five-mile radius of his house, and literally nobody believed him when he said his name was “Trump!” They wouldn’t write it on his cup, they wouldn’t yell “Trump!” when his orange mocha frappuccino was ready, and he was pretty sure he heard a barista ask under her breath if he was “that guy from ‘Growing Pains.'” Another barista said, “No, he looks more like the guy from ‘Charles In Charge,’ if Charles got old and pervy and drove a windowless van.” He visited all his favorite haunts in Los Angeles, asking random bystanders and cashiers if they wanted to see the picture of a black guy he keeps in his wallet, but no one was interested.

Oh well, maybe some of the parents and kids at his daughter’s elementary school would want to see it. It’s a really good picture of a black guy! And it’s in his wallet! So Baio drove his Camry to the school, and immediately upon entering, before he could yell “TRUMP!” at the ceiling or ask even one person if they wanted his autograph (nope), one of the other parents, the lady wife of the drummer from Red Hot Chili Peppers, BEATED HIM UP AND HURTED HIM AND MADE HIM CRY AND GRABBED HIM RIGHT ON HIS PUSSY, WHICH HIS MOM SAID IS A PRIVATE AREA!

Scott Baio has filed a police report claiming the wife of the Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer went nuts on him at a function with their elementary school kids … physically attacking him over his support of Donald Trump.

Law enforcement tells TMZ, Baio says he was at an event with his daughter Saturday in Thousand Oaks, CA, [hometown of your editrix, this is so exciting!] when Nancy Mack confronted him. Mack, who’s married to drummer Chad Smith, is a vocal anti-Trump supporter … began berating and cursing Baio, one of Trump’s strongest celebrity supporters.

We’re told Baio told cops he asked her to quiet down because kids were present, but Mack was undeterred, asking him how he could support a man who said, “Grab ’em by the pussy.” Baio claims she repeatedly screamed, “Grab ’em by the pussy.”

THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT! We mustn’t speak like the president-elect of the United States, because that is NSFW! And that’s when the pain really began:

Baio told cops at that point Mack attacked him, grabbing him under his arms and then shaking and pushing him.

Oh good, she didn’t violate his Down Theres like a common Donald Trump. She still grabbed him by the pussy though, because every part of Scott Baio is a pussy.

Now look, assault is not funny, even when it is known D-lister dickbag Trump-lover Scott Baio getting grabbed by a lady. So if the Red Hot Chili Peppers wife really did hurted him in his heart and on his body, we are very sorry, and she SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT. For Mack’s part, she says she didn’t hurt him at all, and was just showing Baio “how Trump hugs women.” But considering how Scott Baio is a delicate flower who DOESN’T CARE if you make fun of him for supporting Trump (HE DOESN’T CARE, HE DOESN’T CARE, HE DOESN’T CARE!), we are entirely open to the possibility that Mack didn’t know her own strength and really did hurted Scott Baio when she grabbed him by the pussy.

Has Scott Baio not given up so much already, by supporting Donald Trump? Was he not just one year ago an A-lister, but then gave up his “career” for what he felt was right?

No? We must be thinking about somebody else.

Oh well, kids, don’t assault people, for it is bad, and also don’t laugh at this story, because that’s naughty.

[TMZ via Consequence Of Sound]

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  • Longstreet63

    I pronounce rote condemnation upon the violence done upon this foolish person.
    That said, it may have been a misunderstanding. Maybe she just hated him for non-political reasons. That is totally plausible.

  • Cogswell – Bah! Humbug!

    The thing about this turd is you could grab him anywhere and you’d be grabbing pussy.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Violence doesn’t solve anything. It feels really good, but it doesn’t solve anything.

  • dslindc

    Scott Baio is A Idiot, but Nancy Mack should express her disagreement with votes instead of assault. It is the Wonkette Way™.

  • This looks like a case for Bob Loblaw.

    • ManchuCandidate

      More like Barry Zuckercorn.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Better call Saul!

    • FlownOver

      Add Jackie Chiles and Lionel Hutz, esq. (O. Taitz, of counsel) and you’ve got the Baio Dream Team.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Lionel Hutz libel!!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    She should be careful. When Little Donnie makes Baio Secretary of In-Charge, he will exact hilarious revenge. (cue laff trak)

    • MynameisBlarney

      Hijinks will ensue!

  • Arse Grammatica

    I have a problem with Thousand Oaks which is how do they keep the count exact?
    I understand that if some die they could replant new ones quick.
    But what about little acorns that fall and germinate and begin to grow?
    DO THEY PERFORM TREE ABORTIONS?
    I think they do and this bothers me.

    Same issue with 29 Palms.

    • Rouge Skwerl!

      I support Planned Pollenhood.

    • mardam422

      Perhaps you should stand underneath one of the pregnant oaks every autumn and berate it as a slut.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      29 Palms seems like an easier place to do the kind of urban management you describe.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Now you made me all literal minded about place names. Hope it it is temporary.

      • FlownOver

        Greetings from Intercourse, PA.

        (not, however, from Liberal, KS)

      • Celtic_Gnome

        There’s a small town in Ohio called Brokensword. I always wondered what was behind that but haven’t been able to find out.

    • folderol

      As Monty Python would sing: “All God’s nuts are sacred, all God’s nuts are great!”

  • Oneofthebobs

    Fuck Scott Baio and his political correctness.

  • Rouge Skwerl!

    Who is this “Scott Baio” and why do we care about him?

  • FauxAntocles

    My thoughts and prayers go out to Scott Baio.

    • Rouge Skwerl!

      Worse than 9-11 it is.

      • Suttree

        It was his own Vietnam.

        • Rouge Skwerl!

          In Iwo Jima.

  • Suttree

    Add Scottie to the ever growing list of cry babby Turnip followers. No wonder they want a fascist strongman for leader.

  • ManchuCandidate

    As Chad-Smith-look-a-like Ron Burgundy once said:

    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/04/escalated.gif

  • Bill D. Burger

    Like a wise man once said: “When life gives you a lemon like Scott Baio, grab him by the pussy.”

  • Michael Smith

    lol

  • Oblios_Cap

    The title of this piece would more accurately be “Scott Baio, Pussy, was grabbed.”

  • Vincent Ricola

    Maybe Chachi was asking for it. Where are the witnesses? What was he wearing? Why was he having a discussion with a woman who isn’t his wife? Doesn’t he have a history of promiscuity being a huge dick to randos getting easily offended and taking things too far?

    I can’t be expected to believe the word of every man who says they got beat up by a woman, they often lie about these things to get revenge or for money or something.

    • Ali | Desperately Seeking Brad

      I bet he was wearing short shorts. Probably flirting with her, too. Maybe he was drunk and he asked her to grab him by his pussy and is lying now to save face. He certainly didn’t say no or scream loudly enough.

      • YoNastyBunny

        He’s probably just having morning-after guilt.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I’m sure he was wearing that face…you know – that face….

  • Mpeg

    ♪”Un-grab my pussy/
    Say you’ll remember me again
    Undo this hurt that you caused
    When you called me that Growing Pains kid by mistake…” ♫

  • crunchyknee

    He had better start traveling in a pack of alt-rightsters all clad in shitty track suites. That way they can feel safe from the big scary world, full of mooselimbs and ladies.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I’m sure video will emerge showing Scott is a lying sack o’ crap.

  • arglebargle

    Scotty should invest in some bootstraps.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • arglebargle

      Small Cop

  • RumAddled

    That’s no way to treat the Inauguration MC!

  • OneYieldRegular

    He thinks this is bad, just wait until his own children grow up and take him to task.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Maybe Chad Smith sicced his wife on Scotty because Baio stole some licks from the Peppers on his 2015 album (Names). I doubt he performed with a sock over his penis; I don’t think they make socks that small.

    I didn’t really know Baio had an album out, Google told me.

  • So, i should go buy my first ever Chilli Peppers album?

    • Lizzietish81

      Fun factoid: Blood Sugar Sex Magic was the first cd I ever bought.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Only if you’ve got a bad disease.

  • arglebargle

    Nancy Hates Chachi

  • Lizzietish81

    I want to post a RHCP video, but which one? I mean most of their stuff is about sex, drugs or sex with drugs.

    So I had to settle on Californication, because only there or in New York would the wife of one celebrity beat up another

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlUKcNNmywk

    • Martini Ambassador

      They still have one of my favorite album covers. You know which one, with the socks.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Disqus is being weird today. Probably also punched by a girl.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Disqus is being weird today. Probably also punched by a girl.

    • It is a day ending in ‘y’. Of course disqus is being weird

      • Martini Ambassador

        I should clarify, “weirder than normal.” It took a long time for the comments to load on this story, but not so long on the Uber story. So sometimes I just go directly to the Disqus page to load comments when it takes a long time to load through Wonkette, but today half the stories aren’t showing up at all that way. And it’s not clearing my “notifications” count or giving me any new notifications since last night.

        Could be just a problem on my end, but I’ve cleared my browser cache and still no love.

        • mardam422

          Comments are not allowed.

        • anwisok

          The no notifications thing is irritating.

        • Longstreet63

          For me too. Being bereft of immediate electronic feedback is a tragedy so acute that anything that happened to Scott Baio seems to fade into the background…

    • jesuswasablack

      Whats the issue you can’t comment anyway?

  • arglebargle

    Today, none of us are Scott Baio.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Who would want to be?

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Why didn’t Scott man up and pull out his piece so he can spray the entire room while he wets his pants?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      That was way more sexual than I meant it to be.

      • Yes. Sure.

        • Blacktop Autumn

          I’m sick, I’m not thinking straight! I swear!

          (I’m lying)

      • Oblios_Cap

        Pretty damned gross, too.

      • Me not sure

        In exactly what way was that “sexual”? Just askin’.

        • Blacktop Autumn

          *cough* ;-)

  • Scooby

    Shit like this never happens to Ralph Macchio.

    • Porbably because i couldn’t pick current Macchio out of a lineup if my life depended on it

      • Scooby

        He looks like Scott Biao.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        He looks like a regular guy who looks like the Karate Kid.

        Seriously, he lives (lived?) near me, and his kid played baseball in the same league my offspring was in. It gave the kids a big thrill to find out that the guy coaching first base was a famous movie star, but most people just left him the hell alone and let him be a normal dad.

  • Mintie

    Why is anyone even paying attention to Scott Baio? Or has my sequester up in the great Liberal Bastion of Seattle, where the only movies we can see are Indy, Foreign or Marvel, cut me off from understanding what a great cultural icon he is?

  • Anna Rompage
  • MynameisBlarney
    • Blacktop Autumn

      Traitorous filth picks traitorous bottom feeder. This is my shocked face.

    • Seriously? Wait. Not surprised, but for sure fuck white supremacists with burning, splintery crosses of votes

    • Ali | Desperately Seeking Brad

      I wish I could be surprised.

    • beingreleased

      Look just because Dylan Roof likes a white supremacist organization doesn’t mean its a bad white supremacist organization.

    • Suttree

      I have never heard of the KKK CCC. Who is to say that they are white supremacists?

      • Nockular cavity

        CCC is KKK in Russian, which is now required.

        • Nasty Candy Apple

          Well, technically, it’s SSS. KKK works in Russian as is.

    • Martini Ambassador

      *puke*

    • Anna Rompage

      Oh come on now really what’s the big deal about someone wanting to keep their race pure, and to promote the idea that the color of their skin makes them vastly superior to others, no matter how dumb they might actually be..

    • Nockular cavity

      It’s almost as if they’re coming from some large, open container of people worthy of condemnation, or something.

      • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

        Like a barrel which has sludge at the bottom which has to be scraped out…sludge which is useful only in the furtherance of evil at the hands of a vile mango-hued dictator.

    • jesuswasablack

      That actually bad news, this guy is a schmuck but I figured he was better than Moose-Woman? Hmmm racist pro-conservation-hunter vs. Shrill lunatic drill baby drill?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I actually thought that he was probably exactly the same as Half-Governor Quitterface, only with the qualifying advantage of a Y chromosome – but now I think direct ties to the radicalizers of racist murderers beats being married to a guy who wants the state of which she was governor to secede in the My-Gawd-Could-This-Get-Any-Worse department.

    • jesuswasablack

      So Rep. Ryan Zinke (R-MT) donated $$$ to guy who writes about “brutal black on white murders”. Gee I wonder if der-Trump will have an issue with that?
      http://cdn.thedailybeast.com/content/dailybeast/articles/2015/11/22/donald-trump-is-using-false-statistics-to-make-a-racist-point/jcr:content/image.img.2000.jpg/1448259827247.cached.jpg

  • SnarkON

    Non-famous wife of non-famous drummer for no-longer-relevant band beats up aging ex-sitcom star…it’s like the worst celebrity gossip ever.

    • Anna Rompage

      If they had shit like that on programs like ‘Real Housewives of Thousand Oaks’, I might actually watch it on occasion…

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      The Chili Pepper’s latest release is pretty good.

  • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

    Of course assault is not okay, but I love it when women cause some trouble. Culturally we are taught to defer to men and stay quiet, so I like it when ladies are loud and shouty and opinionated.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    You want to know what it feels like to be grabbed by the pussy? Here’s a thought from John Podesta on the FBI’s fascination with Clinton’s emails, but total lack of interest in Russia hacking our democracy:
    “What takes this from baffling to downright infuriating is that at nearly the exact same time that no one at the FBI could be bothered to drive 10 minutes to raise the alarm at DNC headquarters, two agents accompanied by attorneys from the Justice Department were in Denver visiting a tech firm that had helped maintain Clinton’s email server,” Podesta wrote.

    FBI Director James Comey authorized thousands of hours of investigation of Clinton’s emails, which resulted in no charges but plenty of innuendo, because of what he called “intense public interest.”

    But Comey disregarded the concerns of the rest of the intelligence community about Russian cyberattacks related to the election because he didn’t want to appear “political,” Podesta noted.”

    Not THAT is figurative pussy grabbing.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/12/john-podesta-calls-out-fbis-infuriating-double-standard-on-russian-hacks-and-clinton-emails-in-scathing-editorial/

    • Blacktop Autumn

      It’s almost like he’s a partisan, undemocratic hack who wants to suck big ole Republican dick.

    • beingreleased

      Hey get over it. Russia won the election fair and square.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      I just cannot even with this whole topic.

    • Vincent Ricola

      If nothing else good comes out of this nightmare, if, in 100 years, the name James Comey becomes synonymous with the name Benedict Arnold, I’ll take it.

      • Roadstergal

        Seriously, IANAL, when does this shit officially become treason? On the part of Comey and/or Trump? Collusion to give a foreign power substantial political influence in return for personal gain seems right up that goddam alley.

        • Longstreet63

          When Democrats are the ones doing it, it becomes treason.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I thought Scalia would be this millenia’s Benedict Arnold, but yeah, Comey is even worse than Scalia.

  • Crystalclear12

    Sorry, the laughing is involuntary, I just can’t stop.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Sorry*, but the very last shit I gave about Scott Baio cleared our U-bend at approximately 6:45 this morning.

    *Not the least bit sorry

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Musta been a tiny, tiny turd.

  • anwisok

    “Thousand Oaks, CA, [hometown of your editrix, this is so exciting!]”

    So, does that make Rebecca a Valley Girl?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qb21lsCQ3EM

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    I’m not laughing at this, NO, YOU’RE LAUGHING, YOU’RE THE LAUGHER.

  • Juan de Payaso

    Didn’t this guy grow up Italian? My Italian grandmom used to hug me (shake me violently) everytime I went to visit.

    • Shoto

      I know. Fuggedaboutit, right?

  • Me not sure
  • jesuswasablack

    “Oh well, kids, don’t assault people, for it is bad”
    Right and it could go down on your permanent record and we all know that can have a negative impact for the rest of your life!
    http://api.theweek.com/sites/default/files/styles/tw_image_9_4/public/RT_TrumpPresident_2_19_JACKIE.jpg?itok=zthvqP3t

    • weejee

      Such a sad and tiny fist.

  • Shoto

    So let me get this straight: Not only is Scott Baio A Idiot (because of his wingnut support for Tangerine Hitler, obvs), but he’s also such a whiny little bitch that he’d actually publicly admit to being beated up by a girl (as if), going so far as to report it to the police?

    Jeezuz, what a pussy. I can’t even…

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Any publicity is good publicity, for Scott Baio – maybe he could guest star on that whiskered deer whistle show, or if they bring back that big gropy Christnix family…they could reprise the groping!…

  • TJ Barke

    Fascist collaborators get what they deserve.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      BASH THE FASH….with….votes.

      • TJ Barke

        Yeah, that’s the ticket… With votes…

    • Anna Rompage

      Look at what we had to do to rid Europe of fascism in the 1940s….

      • TJ Barke

        Except we didn’t really… Cuz we installed a bunch of them in various countries afterward to keep the left down…

      • Shoto

        So D-Day II in Thousand Oaks, then?

  • OT BECAUSE FUCK SCOTT BAIO ANYWAY

    Oh, look! Colorado is terrible, just terrible.

    WARNING FOR CHILDREN, PREGNANT WOMEN, AND NERVOUS PERSONS:
    Link contains people wanting to kill bears and cougars because hunters are having sadz and BIG OIL and urban sprawl is certainly not to blame for dead deers covered in crude oil and Big Wheel tire marks.

    http://www.denverpost.com/2016/12/14/colorado-wildlife-predator-control-experiment-kill-lions-bears/

    • h4rr4r

      Dwindling?

      They should come take some of our. We have more rats with hooves than we can get hunters to kill. They can have the vermin they want.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Why do conservative blowhards live in liberal bastions? The schools in Alabama not good enough for Scotty’s kids?

    • elviouslyqueer

      MISSISSIPPI LI… oh, wait.

      • Thank God for Mississippi, as we used to say in Alabama.

        I think now it’s pretty much a level playing field.

        What say we go beat up West Virginia?

        • jellysblues

          Thank God for Alabama , as we say in Georgia.

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            The stars fall in Alabama and then immediately leave for Georgia.

  • LesBontemps

    Nancy Mack will be singing a different tune when Trump makes Scott Baio Secretary of Pussies.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Had to check in over at Breitbart to see if it was ‘because liberals always resort to violence’. I wasn’t disappointed.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Always projection with these assholes. Always.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Ha Ha! Baio doesn’t even have a pussy!…

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      And it’s an insult to brave cats everywhere, and also brave women.

  • Msgr_Moment

    It’s been a rough year for Trump’s Assistant Director of the Department of Mediocrity.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Mediocrity would be a promotion for Baio.

  • Because it doesn’t get old:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH07jAKHDhs

    • beingreleased
    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’m sadly unacquainted with the Ritz brothers. The thinking man’s Three Stooges?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’m sadly unacquainted with the Ritz brothers. The thinking man’s Three Stooges?

      • Think more ‘Bargain Basement Marx Brothers’.

        I’ve actually seen several of their movies and find them astonishingly un-funny, and I LOVE the Stooges and the Marx Brothers.

        Maybe people who prefer Chachi to The Fonz would like them…

        • Longstreet63

          The Marx Brothers. A bunch of liberal elites! They had an illegal immigrant, a special needs case and that Grouch guy was probably a Jew. I hear they were paid by George Soros to oppress that nice rich white lady, Margaret Dumont.

    • Msgr_Moment

      What’s Jed Bartlett doing there?

  • jellysblues

    Are we sure it wasn’t Will Ferrell’s wife?

  • h4rr4r

    A pussy can take a pounding, unlike Scott Baio.

    • HughinEncinitas

      I think you just won the Internets today. Kudos!

  • Too late. I lol’ed. Guess Santa is bringing me a lump of coal this year.

    • efoveks

      Which begs the question: “Is Santa a climate change denier?”

  • Vecchiojohn

    “One must have a heart of stone to read the [pussy grabbing] of little [Scotty] without laughing.” – Oscar “the Grouch” Wilde

    • snark-lurker

      i ben a nauuuughty boy…

      ***hangs head in shame, squeezes out a tear, giggles…

  • BMW

    Someone didn’t want to give it away give it away give it away now.

    Sorry, that’s all I got.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Scotty Boy can only dream of californication.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Well, I know which song will be running through my head for the next few hours.

  • koonoruk

    this pussy had to have a pussy ( his wife) defend him on twitter,, what an asswipe he turned out to be,,

  • Scooby

    I hope she had the common decency to eat a Tic Tac first.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Hah! It would be hilarious if some woman grabbed Trump by the pussy as well…

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      They can do it because he’s a star….

    • Sadly, that ridiculous circus clown has secret service protection now, so it would not end well.

    • Yr. Gma

      I do not volunteer. Not because Secret Service but because ew.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    So he’s saying publicly he was beat up by a girl?

  • Shan the Wonky Woo

    I laughed. Am I naughty?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Nope. Sometimes karma is a bitch.

    • mardam422

      Yes. I believe you need a spanking.

      • Shan the Wonky Woo

        Do I get to choose who does it?

        • Cartoon Euchrid Eucrow

          As an innocent bystander to this conversation, I must shout from the sidelines “that only seems fair”

          • Shan the Wonky Woo

            THANK YOU!

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Oh, you…

        • TJ Barke

          The line of volunteers starts behind me.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            “It Takes A Village” after all.

        • Suttree

          We figured we would just send OHJB to do it.

          • Shan the Wonky Woo

            Oh, lord. Spanking AND sexy daddy issues. What could possibly go wrong?

    • Bill D. Burger

      I’ll have to get back to ya’ cause I’m still laughing. ;)

    • efoveks

      Yep. We’re both on the naughty list for this one. And I’m still laughing.!

    • One would hope!

    • Jonny On Maui

      I certainly hope so!

      • snark-lurker

        oh, shez naughty allrite

  • Villago Delenda Est

    My sympathy for Baio can only be seen with an electron microscope.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Wow, that much?!

      Mine requires division by zero.

  • puredog

    Too bad Mack isn’t apparently part of the Wonketariat, or she would have known enough to grab hiim by the pussy WITH VOTES, and there would be no story here.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • ZangoCrudmonger

      I have been hit by wimmens, and let me say, they jab with their mouths, but fuckin’ a, somehow they learned about haymakers from someone. That person should be shot.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, please, beat me up, little lady!

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Donna Rose could beat up Scott.

        • Foreign Agitator Ron

          Without even deploying her sippy cup.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    He’s accusing her of trying to give him Shaken Baby Syndrome?

    • Shan the Wonky Woo

      Ha! Perfect!

  • bookish

    Link to NPR Morning Edition (listen online). Bamz on Russian hack.

    http://www.npr.org/programs/morning-edition/

  • Bill D. Burger

    [Baio told cops at that point Mack attacked him, grabbing him under his arms and then shaking and pushing him.]

    Reenactment:

    http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/493/357/773.gif

  • Michael R

    Will he ever be able to give an Oscar caliber performance again ?

  • Martini Ambassador
    • bookish

      CNN quoted from above link.

      “[US Navy Ship] Bowditch had stopped in the water to pick up two underwater drones. At that point a Chinese naval ship that had been shadowing the Bowditch put a small boat into the water. That small boat came up alongside and the Chinese crew took one of the drones.”

      • snark-lurker

        audacity? iz that teh werd”?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I think the word is unpresidented.

      • Incoming Ham

        Obama and the Joint Chiefs have to be going nuts. They have to leave the country in the hands of the Tweeter in Chief and his cabinet full of deplorables. This sort of thing may be par for the course for the next 4 years. Hopefully it doesn’t escalate into something much worse.

      • Incoming Ham

        Obama and the Joint Chiefs have to be going nuts. They have to leave the country in the hands of the Tweeter in Chief and his cabinet full of deplorables. This sort of thing may be par for the course for the next 4 years. Hopefully it doesn’t escalate into something much worse.

      • Longstreet63

        Maybe we were behind on the payments. It was probably built there anyway.

    • Suttree

      Oops, guess I should have scrolled down.

  • Relativicus

    Considering “grab her by the pussy” was, literally, on every news-related show, front page, website, and social media outlet for weeks on end, I’d be very surprised if any child in that school was shocked or confused.

  • “…Baio, one of Trump’s strongest celebrity supporters.”

    Shame on TMZ for forgetting the SarcastiQuotes around “celebrity”.

  • Incoming Ham

    Great. Charles in Charge is now a martyr for Trump.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    This will make it especially poignant when Scott sings “How Do You Talk to Girls” at the inaugural ball next month.

  • Suttree

    O/T: I can’t wait to see Turnip’s retaliatory twats to China, for seizing a U.S. underwater drone in the South China Sea.
    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/dec/16/china-seizes-us-underwater-drone-south-china-sea

    • bookish

      Trump hasn’t even been inaugurated yet. Wait ’til he really gets going.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Trump already butthurted them real bad with his words, making Obama’s last month that much more difficult. There’s a reason why they call it diplomatic relations.

    • Anna Rompage

      It’s going to be interesting to see what Obama’s response is to this…

      WIll there be a massive show or force, or something a bit more subtle?

      • efoveks

        He’ll just ‘drone’ on and on and on. Then the Energizer bunny will pop out and kill all those thieving Chinamen with DEMOCRATIC votes.

        Oh yes, not just ordinary ones, no sire, those will not do…

        The End

      • Suttree

        We’ll find out five minutes from now. *tunes into MSNBC*

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      If Trump was the president when this happened, we’d already be basking in the nuclear goodness.

      • Foreign Agitator Ron

        That’s ‘nookyooler.’

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      The Chinese aren’t saying, but I’ll bet a cookie that this is a little reminder that you DO NOT FUCK WITH CHINA. On Twitter or elsewhere.

    • phoenix00

      Already done.

      First he fake-outraged “Bad Gyina, Should not do. Give back nooooow”, then “Expensive overpriced piece of obsolete crap, not worth returning, just keep it for scrap”

      (note: too lazy to link, and don’t wanna give his TW account extra hits)

      See how presidentially consistent and on-message he is?

  • efoveks

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J94Xb6j8-U

    Is it too early for a song about pussy?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Ahhh… No… :-)

    • Beowoof14

      Never

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      The pussy is over the yardarm somewhere in the empire.

  • Hrmm… Can I somehow work this non-comment into a plug for my band’s recently released cover of RHCP’s classic “Catholic School Girls Rule”? I think I probably can… It is here. (We are track #9)

  • Notreelyhelping
    • HughinEncinitas

      Look at her trying to set her kid on fire. Not. Cool.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Snorting hot coffee through my nose is not fun, but SO TOTALLY worth it! You may have my share of today’s internets.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Yup. I’m sure she could kick my ass…

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      She’s history’s greatest monster!

    • phoenix00

      That is a wonderful looking family.

  • JohnBull

    That’s a low blow Bob Loblaw.

  • snark-lurker

    wy did sissy poopy-pants man baby scott call copz:? afraid to call himz mommy?:

  • Beowoof14

    Aw, I bet poor Scotty had to go home and take a warm bath to soak his damaged pussy.

  • Kurn

    I thought all rethugs were MANLY MEN. But this one got beaten up by a girl! LOLOLOLOL

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      So did their Fearful Leader, except he won’t admit it.

  • BigHorn

    He’ll get a sub-cabinet post for his brave support of Twitler. Ambassador to Milwaukee or some such.

    • Shan the Wonky Woo

      Heh. “Twitler”

      • BigHorn

        Not mine!

      • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

        Gonna borrow “Twitler.” Let me know where to send the royalties ;-).

        Donald Twitler = perfection!

    • therblig

      is he a schlemiel or a schlemazel?

      • BigHorn

        My Yiddish is rudimentary at best but I think the word we’re looking for is putz. But iswydt.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          ♫ Hooray for Scotty Baio,
          The Thousand Oaks explorer.
          Did someone here say schnorrer?
          Hooray, hooray, hooray! ♫

      • Yr. Gma

        Which one is Laverne?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Schlitz.

      • LMMiller111

        Clearly he’s a schmuck…

  • SeeTrain65

    Having to see this washed-up has-been in public is an assault on its own.

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      If you need to ‘vent’ a bit on him about it I’m sure no-one will mind. If you know what I mean.

      • SeeTrain65

        This is about as much time as I want to give to the bastard. Anything else gives the arrogant little shit too much credit.

  • John Hollingsworth

    In her defense, I didn’t know it was illegal to beat up Scott Baio. There really should be signs up or something

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, ‘cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people beat up Scott Baio that all the time.”

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    The important question is: Will Milo Snuffleupagus downgrade Scott from his lofty “Alpha” status.

    • phoenix00

      Scotty’s been contaminated by the SJW libtard, so now he’s flawed, diseased, and unworthy by Milo’s standards.

  • theblackdog

    I can’t wait to hear her side of the story because I doubt she just decided it would be a great idea to physically attack him right then and there.

    • HazooToo

      My interpretation is that she was “hugging” him the way Trump did to his daughter onstage. With the gross hip groping.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    This is just what I needed to amuse me today.

  • eyelashviper

    Awaiting the Presidential Tweet…Chili Peppers Bad, Chachi Good, believe me, and my hands are yuuuuugee…

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

    Good. With votes.

  • Foreign Agitator Ron

    I’ll be naughty if I want to! You’re not the boss of me!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Someone think of the children.

  • Scott Baio is looking for a safe space?

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Charles in Charge of Filing Charges

  • Jennifer R

    Chachee should be thrilled anyone knows who he is at all.

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    I’m gonna go ahead and laugh. Santa already knows I’m naughty, so no ballerina Barbie or nasty woman president for me anyway.

    Oh, and fuck Scott Baio.

    • Bill Diaz

      Why would you want Barbie anything, much less ballerina, which is one of the most abusive and twisted human pursuits that exists?

      Have a great day!

  • Serai 1

    Why are you sorry? You didn’t shake the ninny.

    • handyhippie65

      ninny. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! he was a ninny manny.

  • tehbaddr

    Hahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahahahahahahah! I feel like being naughty. Bout time a Trumpanzee was called out in public! I bet Erin Moran is laughing too, also!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Still playing a punk, I see.

  • DahBoner

    As the Red Hot wife of a Chile Pepper, her biggest problem before Chachi was probably losing a Dick Sock in the drier. 😀
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/12MiXD4GAkFQKk/200w_d.gif#69

  • azeyote

    i guess she was the pussy grabber –

  • pgjack

    Wait! Wait! Biao is a celebrity??? When did that happen?

  • Ricks CatCafe de la Resistance

    Don’t you just love, as you pointed out, that these goons have no problem with the President of the United States using vile gutter language in a deliberately demeaning and destructive way, but someone simply repeating it, in fact, pointing out that it is vile gutter language designed to demean and destroy–THAT’S the person they attack? Straight out of Hitler’s playbook.

    • HazooToo

      But-but-but LOCKER ROOM! That’s how ALL men talk in LOCKER ROOM! In fact, if you even want to get into the LOCKER ROOM!, there’s a secret passphrase you have to say, or you can’t even get in, and it’s not just the scary “P-word”, it is ALL of the Bad Words!

      • Ricks CatCafe de la Resistance

        The saddest thing is the women who have no problem with it. It just tells us that this is how men talk and behave around them all the time, and they have to put up with it. (And that’s why they didn’t vote for Hillary–if they have to put up with being grabbed by the pussy, how come SHE gets to be President?)

        • HazooToo

          Right? Here’s an idea for those ladies… Don’t put up with it! Shocking!

  • folderol

    I would like to write a limerick about Scott Baio, but there really isn’t anything that rhymes.

    • handyhippie65

      there once was a dumbfuck from TVland, he supported a tyrant with tiny hands, he went to a school, and looked like a fool, when he got his ass handed to him with both her hands.

  • Bill

    He should have slaped that Stalinist cunnt good

    • phoenix00

      > slaped

      ok whatever that means bub

  • Bill

    You left wing shiit heads are a hoot

    • Toot?

    • Bill Diaz

      Yeah, but compared to you right wing Trumpanzee emo-Nazi asshats, we are towering edifices of intellect and probity.

      Have a great day!

      • Bill

        Right, without you Moonbats, we wouldn’t know about the harmful effects of Cow farts on the environment , shit head

        • Bill Diaz

          You are A IDIOT. I am sorry that you dont have the kind of brain that would get you past the math that would allow you to take ‘Instrumental Analysis’ and ‘Physical Chemistry’ (partial diffs and better), but anyone who is smart enough to take that class gets to call people like you that have no idea what an ‘Absorption Spectrum’ or what is looks like for Methane, A IDIOT.

          If that also means ‘Moonbat’, I guess I better get wings before the New Year!

          Have a great day!

      • pixeloid

        I think the Trumpanzee is trying to be featured in Wonkette’s weekly shit fer brains post.

  • juno

    Ha! So this punk got his ass kicked by a woman? Some of us lefties and pretty tough cookies and it’s as I suspected – trump supporters are just cookies…crumble in a rumble. Trump trolls now officially super radicalized by having their bro decked by a chick…..ha,ha, ha, ha, ha….

  • phoenix00

    > She still grabbed him by the pussy though, because every part of Scott Baio is a pussy.

    Omg. This. So this.

  • Ducksworthy

    Lets hope that having to hear about the (resurgence, resurrection, recrudescence?) of Scott Baio is the worst thing Trump inflicts us. But looking at his “cabinet” picks I’m afraid it won’t be.

  • mailman27

    Bay-Oh
    Bay-ay-ay-ayayay-yo
    Daylight come and
    Me wanna blow my fucken brains out
    With votes
    I’m talking about me
    Not anybody else!
    Fer chrissake.
    Not literally, of course
    Never mind.

  • Ruhe

    A no win situation for Scott. He probably walks into that sort of thing a lot.

    • Carey Allison

      Regardless of whether S.Baio is a pussy or a short Arnold Schwartzenegger – I don’t know, and I really don’t care – would any reader like to contemplate what would have been the response had Mr. Baio responded (after being grabbed under the arms and shaken) by grabbing his (female) assailant under her arms and shaking her?

      Battery is battery, regardless of which gender is the actor and which is acted upon. Or doesn’t it work that way?

  • lovelydestruction

    “…because every part of Scott Baio is a pussy.”
    Nicetime laugh. I gained at least a week of life with that.

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