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Refreshment!

Good day, Wonkaholics! And a very merry drinking season to you, as well. We cannot overstate the importance of maintaining a respectable blood alcohol level if we are ever going to win this War on Christmas. It is also a wonderful time of year to introduce the youths in your family to the joys of chemical dependence. To those ends, let us prepare a bowl of rum punch, and leave it unsupervised, out for anyone who happens along.

Sure, egg nog gets more hype during the holidays, and it is a fine beverage indeed. But some of your family and friends get the shits from milk, and others are giant whiny babies about eating eggs which have not had heat applied to them. So let’s get fruity.

This is really more of a method recipe, as the particular fruits and boozes can be adjusted to taste and availability. The key to a good punch is a lot of liquor. The secret to a good punch is something known as oleo saccharum (Latin for “mixture of sweet scrotums”), which is where you take citrus peels, mix them with sugar, and wait for the magic to happen.

Rum Punch

3-5 Lemons
1-2 Grapefruits
2-3 Oranges
1 Lime
Superfine Sugar (regular granulated will work)
Spiced Rum
White Rum
Orange Liqueur
Gin
Nutmeg
Allspice
Ice
Soda (optional, could be club soda or ginger ale)

Cut the peels off the citrus in one-inch-wide strips, taking care to get as little of the bitter white pith as possible. Put them all in a large bowl (like the kind that you might use to serve punch), and pour in enough sugar to coat them all. Use a muddler or your hands to mix this up. Really rub the sugar into the peels. Sprinkle with a little bit of nutmeg and allspice. Cover the container with plastic wrap, and let it sit for a few hours; the sugar will melt away, and the delicious essential oils will exude out of the peels. This is the oleo saccharum. Alternatively, you can use Jeffrey Morgenthaler’s shortcut method, but you will need a vacuum sealer for that.

Juice the fruit into one of those glass measuring cups, so you know how much juice you’re working with. Set that aside. Note that whatever citrus you have around will work just fine. We prefer to have a good amount of lemons and/or limes in there, to keep the final product from being too cloyingly sweet. You have a pineapple handy? Great! Cut it up, and add the juice from your cutting board to the citrus juice.

Now for the math part of making punch. You need a good booze to juice ratio, something like 1.5 parts booze to one part juice. To figure the amount of booze you will need, multiply the volume of the juice by one-and-a-half. You will notice that there are several types of liquor going into this thing. The ratio for the boozes is 4:4:2:1. That’s four parts spiced rum, four parts white rum, two parts gin, and one part orange liqueur. So divide the total amount of booze you need by eleven, and do one of those of Cointreau, two of those of gin, and four each of the rums. Got it? No? Just pour a ton of liquor, mostly rum, into the bowl with the oleo saccharum.

This is a good time to mention booze variations. Any liqueur you like can replace the orange liqueur (but you should probably shy away from krautinger for this punch). You can swap out or supplement the gin with whiskey or brandy.

Add a ton of ice and the juice you have set aside. If you are concerned about the ice watering your fix down, omit it, and chill the punch in the fridge or outside if you live where the weather is cold.

Oleo saccharum lurks below the surface

Put a bucket of ice and the soda beside the punch bowl, and add as much or as little soda to each cup as you like. Sparkling wine works great, too. Or don’t add anything with bubbles; I don’t give a shit. Garnish with citrus wedges, pineapple slices, or maraschino cherries.

Hooray, you have punch now! For the holidays!

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  • Oblios_Cap

    Sounds good, but it’s too much work. I’ll just guzzle the rum

  • memzilla Ω

    This punch looks delicious, but I’m a little put off by anything orange-colored this season, for obvious reasons. Will green food coloring turn it into Democratic Blue?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      And the two white balls floating in it is kind of disturbing, unless your name is Vladimir.

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      Jill Stein will ask for a teaspoon recount.

  • puredog

    The “taste” of “alcohol” is a little beside the point, mmmmm?

    • jowgajen

      Keep trying, you eventually like the taste too.

      • Longstreet63

        At least during that particular session…

    • noodle

      indeed, especially when one is also trying to mask the taste of 2016.

  • Nounverb911
  • Oblios_Cap

    At least one good thing happened – the US did not veto the UN resolution condemning the Israelis for being assholes and stealing land. I think Obama sent a message to Trump that the hair bear isn’t President yet. Our 51st state isn’t too happy right now.

    • Nounverb911
      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        “Don’t we know it!”

        – Civilized nations and people everywhere

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          “Bet you guys are really starting to regret defunding science programs and not letting us develop civilizations on Mars.”—scientists globally, as one

      • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

        Will Kellyanne remind him that Leonardo DiCaprio already declared himself as King Of The World.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’m shocked!

      • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

        That’s what we’re afraid of Donald.

      • suziq

        Oh, who needs the UN anyway? Useless! SAD!

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      But Jared and Ivanka were looking forward to building a vacation home.

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Since I never reset my clocks for the time change, it is almost 5pm here. Cheers

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Hint From Heloise: if you don’t change the batteries, then eventually it’s always 5:00 p.m.

      • Longstreet63

        I have a very nice presentation clock from Giant Corporation I got for my 20-Year anniversary. It has this feature, but unfortunately it is set to 3:32, which is pretty much not a Nice Time whether AM or PM.

      • noodle

        Or you could take a pizza box lid, draw a clock at 5pm on the inside and tack it to your wall: voila! DIY drinking excuse.

      • ViveLaRésistance

        We have one of those atomic clocks and it has taken to staying 5 hours ahead all the time. Five hours, 5:00…you know where I’m going with this.

        • Unpresidented Ron

          Even the Naval Observatory is drinking away its problems now.

    • arglebargle
      • OneYieldRegular

        It’s a five o’clock world.

      • onedollarjuana

        I have one like that, but with fours.

    • suziq

      What part of Seattle are you in? I must be in a different time zone (of Seattle)!

  • Crystalclear12

    You couldn’t have posted this in the morning!?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      They wanted to save it until we really needed it.

      • Crystalclear12

        November 9, 2016?

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          January 20. 2017 also too.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            We needed to start on November 9 so we’d be totally shitfaced by January 20. Or at least that’s how I’m scheduling it.

  • Ezio Auditore
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Is it OK to omit the grapefruit? I stay away from that particular produce item ever since I was young and dumb and went on the grapefruit and egg diet (which of course did not work long term.) Too traumatized from that experience ever to go back…

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I think it’s fine – just substitute canned clams, and you’re good to go.

      • Nounverb911

        Needs more geoducks!

        • Oblios_Cap

          Those are some nasty bastards.

          • Nounverb911

            Geoduck sashimi is delicious.

          • suziq

            Just nasty looking, they are delicious!

      • proudgrampa

        You ARE a monster!

        Cheers, and Greetings of the Season!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I’ve never understood the appeal of grapefruit. It’s a bigger, more sour, orange. Pass.

      • Teecha

        I love grapefruit, I like sour. Plus I have a ridiculous allergy to oranges. Not any other citrus, just oranges.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      And us oldz on cholesterol meds can’t have grapefruit :(

  • dslindc
  • Teecha

    Snowballs here in the desert. I set myself a target to drink all 4 bottles of advocaat by the end of December. I got home from the mission to the booze souk with my liquor licence to stock up Bols to discover another bottle in the cupboard, so I upped my challenge. Despite having to take 5 days off the sauce due to a wisdom tooth saying hello, I’m well down that 3rd bottle and expecting to celebrate the end of 2016 with the final snowball on the 31st. Then it’s back on the schnapps!

  • Longstreet63

    It’s healthy! The booze keeps the fruity part from going bad!

    • Teecha

      Plus, at least 4 of your 5 a day, surely.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Calling dibs on Oleo Saccharum as my character name in my boozy all-drag remake of Harry Potter.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Dibs on Professor Pantalons.

    • nothingisamiss

      I’m in

  • Ezio Auditore

    This week I established that it is not a coincidence that I became old enough to drink only a year ago.

    • noodle

      The stars aligned perfectly! It’s a sign!

    • Suttree

      You keep forgetting to add “legally” in that statement.

  • 151 proof rum (or Everclear) 7-Up, & Hawai’ian Punch concentrate. Half the fun is figuring the proportions you want; if mixed correctly they won’t know how plowed they’re getting ’til they’re in the barn.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I have a recipe somewhere for Romulan Ale that sounds similar (swap in some Midori and Blue Curacao for the Hawaiian Punch, and add more 7-Up).

      • proudgrampa

        Is that the one that uses dry ice?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          I’ve never used it before when I made this stuff. I think when a friend of mine made some Bloodwine they used Dry Ice…

  • ViveLaRésistance

    I was good until I got to “let it sit for a few hours.” I need to start drinking in about…um…now.

  • Suttree

    Since the link to krautinger was in German, I shall assume from the picture that it is turnip brandy.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Isn’t the plural of scrotum, “scrota”? Or, is it “Trump’s Cabinet”?

    • Thiazin Red

      Wouldn’t it be scroti?

      • Longstreet63

        scrofula?

  • Nounverb911
    • Suttree

      I’ve been taking mine for the last year, so I was ready to roll after I sobered up on 11/14.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Take them with liquor.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        ‘I like to get drunk.’
        ‘Alcohol is a depressant, you know.’
        ‘I like to get depressed. Sometimes I get stinkin’ gloomy.’

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Fuck antidepressants, I’m going straight to Fentanyl.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I’m having a hinge put on my skull so I can put Fentanyl patches directly on my brain. You don’t need as much, and that shit is really expensive.

    • MΩebym

      Instead of taking anti-depressants, I’ll just get another cat.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Drinking is not a game.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It’s a lifestyle!

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Or a religion.

        Also a dessert topping.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I take my drinking very seriously. As well as my games. Drinking games too, now that I think of it.

  • Longstreet63

    Instead of the fruit, can I use flavored Rum?
    And instead of the rum, can I use More Rum?
    And instead of the gin, can I use whatever that funny bottle is on top of my fridge?

    Some people think I have a simple palate…

  • noodle

    “But some of your family and friends get the shits from milk…”

    Yep. And it’s gotta be kosher.

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    This just in, no comment from the trumpster.

    https://twitter.com/VanityFair/status/812389645422129152

    • Oblios_Cap

      Give him time.

    • arglebargle

      I read somewhere he wanted to do “Highway to Hell”. Seriously.

      I mean I seriously read that, not that he want to sing it seriously.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Can’t we just let him be president? I don’t think his supporters would be able to tell the difference. Then Donald can pretend to be Alec Baldwin and famous people will actually return his calls. It’s a win win for everyone.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Yeah, just hand the asshole his crown and tell him to go twit someplace else and leave us the Hell alone.

        • Incoming Ham

          Rather than leaving us alone in Hell.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      I do somewhat fear for this man’s life.

  • Suttree

    Is it just me, or does anyone else despise nutmeg as much as I do? In my defense, I am going to blame The Anarchist’s Cookbook when I was a teenager.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    As I’ve mentioned before, almost three years ago I was given the option to quit drinking or it would kill me. Considering today’s political climate, I’m tempted to re-evaluate my decision to quit.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      Nah, we need you too much.

    • Suttree

      They told me the same thing about 15 years ago. I quit for a couple years…… But if you don’t drink now, do not fucking start again!
      Edit: I also don’t drink a handle everyday now either.

      • TheGrandWaz00

        I can’t see starting again. I don’t miss the three day hangovers or the stabbing pain where my liver is supposed to be.

        • Suttree

          You are a wise man.

    • arglebargle

      I don’t drink anymore. I don’t drink any less either.

    • pianoplayer1

      I don’t drink alcohol. Trump is making me reconsider.

      • sw19womble

        Just hold your nose and swallow.

        Same with the alcohol.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    South Florida tip (via Texas):

    If want to keep beer or an alcoholic thing (or even soda, pfft) like this cold, but don’t want the melting ice to water it down (as happens in muggy South Florida), put the ice in a plastic bag (like the ones you use for those mythical “vegetables”) or a big ziploc bag), keep plenty of air in the bag and then seal the top.

    Plop that sucker in your pitcher o’ beer or big bunch bowl and it should float near the top. When the ice melts, just yank the bag, drain the water and repeat.

    !

    • Oblios_Cap

      We do that in North Florida, too.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        Lol, I’ve only visited there. I liked Gainesville I meant Tallahassee. actually.

        • ViveLaRésistance

          Come to St Augustine. Just not in Nov/Dec when it’s a madhouse downtown.

        • Oblios_Cap

          that’s from where I hail…

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            gainesville or Tallahassee? (I’m not sure what I was thinking of).

    • Suttree
      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        so you put the ice in the bottom one, then put the second cup full of your drink into the first one? THat’s a good one too.

        • Suttree

          No, you fill them both with ice and lock them together, then drop them in your pitcher. Sorry, that was the best image I could find to demonstrate the idea.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            ahhhh, okay, I was wondering how what that picture was…I’ve only ahd 2 coffees and I iz kinda dumb sometimes. That’s good too.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    You know it just occurred to me that we are being rather unfair to Donnie. He doesn’t lie ALL the time. When he said: “We’re going to win so much, you’re going to be sick of winning,” he was being literally truthful. He just didn’t let on that it was going to be radiation sickness after “winning” a nuclear war.

    • Suttree

      He also didn’t define “win”.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        Hardly necessary. Clearly ‘win’ means Donnie gets something out of it and nobody else does.

        • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

          Yeah, the usual.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Happy holidays, Bub!

      https://youtu.be/t039p6xqutU

  • chapka

    My number one objection to rum punch is that it’s a waste to drink rum if it is not (1) hot and (2) buttered.

    • chapka

      Although, come to think of it, hot buttered rum is really only acceptable if you’re out of hot buttered whisky.

      • Martini Ambassador

        “Hot and bothered rum” is how I read that. Which would be a pretty good x-rated Caribbean-influenced polka band name.

    • proudgrampa

      We’re talking rum, here. Not popcorn…

  • Ezio Auditore

    OT: Andrea Bocelli turned down playing at Trump’s inauguration.

    *Breathes a sigh of relief*

  • proudgrampa

    Looks nice, but I don’t understand why people want to ruin perfectly good booze by adding stuff to it…

    • natoslug

      I find it best to add more booze to booze. Best mixers ever.

      • proudgrampa

        My favorite of all time is the “Gentlemen’s Martini” Vodka AND Gin, mixed on the rocks!

  • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

    These aren’t the happiest times for any of us, for obvious reasons. We are worried, angry, frightened, uncertain. Many of us are also too experiencing hurtful things in our private lives. This is my family’s first Christmas without my Dad. That’s going to be hard. Wherever you are, and whatever struggle you are going through, please have the best holiday you can. You matter, and deserve good things. Now, get out there and steal all the babby Jeebuses from every nativity you see, and use them in a sick, offensive art installation like a good little libtard! Merry Christmas, perverts!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Merry Christmas to you, MLG, and I’m sorry to welcome you to the First Christmas without Dad club. Our meetings are held here at Wonkette, where the love and kindness of our fellow non-commenters helps us through the season. Take care of yourself

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        Aye, the TX dad about 2 weeks before christmas, at least we had family over that year. Everybody’s different, but I personally revel in the good times we had. Best wishes MLG.

        • Kellynsmith

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj444d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !mj444d:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash444MarketGoodGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!mj444d:….,….

        • Jenniferkjurgens

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sq192c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !sq192c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash472ShopDashGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!sq192c:….,……..

        • Danielledtimmer

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sf134c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !sf134c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash424MarketKeyGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!sf134c:….,……

    • Oblios_Cap

      Happy Holidays! Hanukah, Kwanzaa, and Boxing Day all fall between now and Tuesday.

      So drink your tonica and smoke your marijuanica and have a happy, happy Hanukah!

    • MFC MLG!

    • Incoming Ham

      Happy Festivus MLG. This is my first one without Mom. I think it’s just been a shit year all around, but enjoy those around you and make up your own Twelve Days of Xmas. Be kind to yourself.

      • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

        You do the same. And thank you. ♡

  • Unpresidented Ron

    ‘Delicious alcohol’ seems redundant.

  • Martini Ambassador

    I was told there’d be no math!

    • ViveLaRésistance

      Math is avoided if you leave off everything but the rum.

      • Martini Ambassador

        I like the way you think!

        • ViveLaRésistance

          I was an English major.

  • ViveLaRésistance

    For an easy exotic cocktail: Sake-tini (makes one individual shaker):
    Juice of 1 orange, 1 lemon AND 1 lime
    Moonstone Lemongrass Coconut sake
    Splash of club soda (optional)
    Ice
    Squeeze juices into shaker. Add a few ice cubes and splash of club soda. Fill rest of the way with sake. Shake, strain into martini glass, garnish with twists of the citrus fruit peel. Prepare to pucker, in a good way.

    • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

      Lemongrass Coconut sake sounds delicious!

      • ViveLaRésistance

        It’s so good it’s dangerous.

  • MynameisBlarney

    In about 3.5 of your Earth hours, I will also be full of delicious alcohol.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    OT: Ha! The white cracker texans are gonna be pissed at our entry:

    https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/812161065723301893/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    • Ezio Auditore

      NEW JERSEY. OF COURSE.

      • Suttree

        My county had Hillz winning 77%! Not all of us are idiots.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      McDonalds’ Breakfast all day for the win! WTG Arkansas!

    • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

      Mr. T dead?! My home state, Ladies and Gentlemen!! I pity the fool from Tennessee.

      • Ezio Auditore

        Mr. T is the real American hero.

        Chuck Norris can go sit down.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      There may be hope for South Carolina.

    • Ezio Auditore

      Also I am smiling at Ohio with “3-1 lead”.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        what does that even refer to? (Sportsball, I’m guessing?)

        • Ezio Auditore

          The Cleveland Indians lead the Chicago Cubs 3 games to 1 in the World Series before the Cubs won the next three games in a row, and consequently, the world series.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Yeah – The Golden State Warriors were up 3-1 on the Cleveland Cavaliers, then epically choked it away to give Cleveland its first NBA title.
          (Less talked about, the Cleveland Indians were also up 3-1 on the Chicago Cubs and they also choked in the clutch to give the Cubs their first championship in over a century.)

    • MΩebym

      So, Tennessee is full of idiots who believe a fake news ad. No big surprise there; I lived there for ten years, and know them well.

    • Suttree

      WTF?! North Carolina! Transgender voting laws?!!!111!!! What does that even mean?

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        Ha, I missed that…nice find.

    • notaten

      Ha! New Mexico was Mars. Checking to see if the schools are better there?

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Rockin’ the goose.

  • arglebargle

    This is all well and good, but what am I supposed to be drinking while the wife is making this?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Beer.

    • Ezio Auditore

      Water

    • sw19womble

      the kool-aid.

    • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

      If you were my husband, a big, frosty mug of Shut the Hell Up and Make It Yourself. Gawd, I’m gonna make some lucky man so happy one day!!

      • arglebargle

        How many real men does it take to open a beer?

        None, it should be open by the time she hands it to you.

      • Ezio Auditore

        I agree. Men need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Well…fuck.
          I don’t have any boots OR straps right now.

      • TheGrandWaz00
        • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

          Awwwww!!!

      • MynameisBlarney

        LOL

      • OneYieldRegular

        Was that you at the hospital this morning? I was standing there at reception, and a woman in a nurse’s uniform came up to me and said, “I’m looking for a man.” I replied, “I think I might fit the bill.” She said, “I think you might too. What’s your name?” I told her. She replied, “Damn. You’re not the man I’m looking for.”

      • Suttree

        Aww, you sound just like my sweetie! If she dies in a freak Ferris wheel accident, I’m going to come looking for you. I’m a sucker for punishment.

        • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

          I do love that quality in a man!

    • ViveLaRésistance

      Whatever it is, you’d be drinking it through a straw at my house.

    • Bill D. Burger

      I told my wife to fix it and she served me this…

      http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w160/buzzdog24/ShutTheFuckUp.jpg

      …but, to be honest, I did know better.

  • Martini Ambassador

    I don’t think I’m going to be around much over the next few days, with travel and family stuff. So, have a wonderful Christmas, to those that celebrate it, and a terrific holiday season no matter what and how you celebrate. Love you guys, you rock!

  • Ezio Auditore

    Have an Amazing/Uncanny/Astonishing/Incredible Holiday, Wonkette nerds!

    http://kirbymuseum.org/blogs/kirby-vision/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2009/12/christmascard-2009-lores.jpg

    • Unpresidented Ron

      What’s this about ‘anti-life’?
      – Donnie

      • Ezio Auditore

        Darkseid libelz!

  • Panika MCD

    I’m going to stick with my bourbon. rum gives me a bad yucky horrid taste in my mouth the day after I drink it and makes me wish I had a hangover just so I can throwup to get the taste to go away. whatcha got beyond the regular Irish coffees and spiked egg nogs and hot toddies? (yes, I already know how to make a Stone Fence and love them.)

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      Alton Brown does an episode on alcoholic punch and one on cocktails (might be the same episode). Should be on netflix.

      • Panika MCD

        well, there are also the videos where Neil Degrasse Tyson bugs the bartender to make a theme drink for Star Talk Radio before the show starts.

        • Suttree

          How good is that show? I just noticed it was on some channel a few days ago. I mean NDT of course is awesome, but it seemed non-sciencey from the description.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s totally sciencey. he nerds out with people you may not consider to be sciencey on the scienceyness of what they do and then has an expert and a comedian comment on the interview.

          • Suttree

            oooh, sounds fun!

  • sw19womble

    I had to substitute tomatoes for the oranges. Plus I was out of nutmeg, so used tabasco instead. Also too I had no rum, so added vodka.
    Also, already used all remaining sugar for the neighbourhood’s annual satanic cookie bake-off, but I did have some sticks of celery left over.

    It turned out quite well, actually, considering.

    • Bloody punch is never out of style.

    • Suttree

      If you had some spicy pickled beans and some Lee&Perrins, you’d be all set.

      • sw19womble

        You go to drink with the pantry you have, not the one you wish you did…

    • Suttree

      You just reminded me that I have V8 and celery in the fridge. How did I overlook this?!

      • sw19womble

        You’re welcome ;)

  • Nounverb911
    • Ezio Auditore

      Don’t miss tonight. It’s going to be Donald vs. Rand in the feats of strength.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Rand would probably whup the tar outta trump.

        • TJ Barke

          An eight month old could beat up Donnie.

          • Rouge Skwerl!

            I still wish Biden would take him out behind the school barn.

          • sw19womble

            And yet you could count on one hand maybe the GOP members who would dare to.

            Fucking cowering quisling cowards.

    • Panika MCD

      set your alarms for 3 am EST!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Exsqueeze me? I need a damn good reason to get up at 3 ay fuckin’ em.

        • dshwa

          That’s the Trump twitter rampage witching hour.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    So, the drinking lamp is lit? Thank Dog!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • sw19womble

      Canadian Whiskey Libels!!!!

      • natoslug

        I don’t think it is possible to libel Canadian Whiskey.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      Islay and Speyside LIBELZZZ OMG!!!WTF!!!11!!

    • Panika MCD

      wouldn’t that technically be Ireland vs. KY and TN?

  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      Christmas at the Tiger Woods residence is quite different from what it was at my house.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      Whiskey. Tango. Actual. Foxtrot.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        How much do you want to bet he goes golfing with Trump?

        • TJ Barke

          You know they do, already, don’t you?

          • ViveLaRésistance

            You’re right. They played together today, in fact, in Florida. Trump can’t even get A-List golfing buddies. Hahahaha.

    • Panika MCD

      Mac Daddy Santa rocks out with his pecs out? free the nipples?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Won’t all that juice and whatnot dilute the alcohol?

  • Nounverb911
    • Ezio Auditore

      This couple is too perfect.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I made the mistake of reading some of the comments.

        Sheesh…some folks just can’t help but express their racist bullshit in the most idiotic ways.

        • Nounverb911

          Hamilton’s been getting this crap since he started racing Formula One….

        • Ezio Auditore

          I didn’t bother to look but let me guess: It’s mostly white people saying “THIS IS WHITE GENOCIDE!!!”

          • MynameisBlarney

            Very close.

          • TJ Barke

            The word “cuck” comes up a lot, I’m sure.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I didn’t see that one actually.

          • Rouge Skwerl!

            Of course it is. Pointing out our pink anemic skin that shows every flaw we’ve acquired since birth and the fact we don’t exercise is totally genocide!

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I’m going to guess there are also several things (mostly racist but some sexist) people have to say about their tattoos?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yup

  • Nounverb911

    Okay, off to the gym, if I don’t see some of you later, have a happy holiday of your choosing!

    http://www.thisiscolossal.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/carousel-1.gif

    • Doug Langley

      I wish my gym had a treadmill like that.

    • Suttree

      You’re a New Yorker, aren’t you? Tell me where you live, so that I can come over and puke in your entranceway. :P

  • OneYieldRegular

    I’m not supposed to drink because of a stupid current medical thing, but today marks the mid-point of too many weeks of treatment, so I am having champagne anyway.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    For age and medical reasons (yes, multiple) I am really not supposed to drink. This year has made me question my alcohol-free lifestyle.

    • Panika MCD

      I bet you don’t miss all the hangovers I’ve had this year!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I would take hangovers over being sober when I heard the election results, thank you very much (no seriously, thanks for trying to comfort me).

        • Rouge Skwerl!

          At my local watering hole it was horrible, everyone was pissed. We would have formed a lynch mob if any Trumpsters came in. Alcohol would not have helped.

          • Panika MCD

            I went into the LBJ suite to say “hi” to a few people and like others in the room, didn’t leave until it was time to go home. thank goodness Mayor Adler and Co. stocked the room well.

        • Panika MCD

          I’ve had a lot of hangovers this year. 11/9 was mild in comparison to some around the RNC.

          • Suttree

            I didn’t get out of bed until 11/13. I understand. I hid my phone and my tablet from myself, and only didn’t throw my computer out of the window because there were too many wires.

        • Panika MCD

          what may actually make you feel better: you haven’t thrown out your back nearly as many times as I have because you don’t have an uncooperative Prima Momma. (though your neighbors in your building do push the line of acceptable behavior far too often.)

    • proudgrampa

      Hasn’t stopped me yet (age and medical reasons, that is).

    • shastakoala

      I can’t drink this year either. Oddly I’ve bought more liquor than I ever do. I think it’s a subconscious thing. Now I have to go get rum.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Well,, if it’s just sitting there, you can send it to me. Just to clear the counter space. #helpful

    • jowgajen

      Living longer is only good if it’s enjoyable.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Using an IV isn’t technically “drinking,” you know.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Understood. Thirty years ago, I was on my way to becoming an alcoholic and a funny thing happened. I got worn out. It takes a great deal of energy to be an alcoholic, and after two or three drinks, I need to lie down and sleep for a while. My doctor said this was the result of working since I was two years old (no child labor laws in the original Toomush business) and I would just have to suck it up and behave right. Since then, I’ve had to settle for two drinks a night or opt out of the party…

      • Suttree

        People don’t realize the time and effort that it takes to be a hardcore drunk. I haven’t been that way in many years, but it was a 24 hour a day job.

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        That’s the outcome for most people, “maturing out” as Dr. Stanton Peele calls it.

  • Rouge Skwerl!

    Aww fuck it. We are going to get 2 for 1 margaritas at the Mexican restaurant and then hop the bus for tipsy thriftmas. All the broken ornaments are belong to us!

    It’s like going to the gym… but not anything like it.

    • Suttree

      Have fun storming the castle mall!

  • sw19womble
    • Blacktop Autumn

      Well, that’s totally normal.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Fuck him too.

    • msanthropesmr

      DONT MAKE ME AGREE WITH RAND PAUL DAMMIT

    • Ezio Auditore

      Tonight on InfoWars:

      ALEX JONES GOES ON EPIC RANT ABOUT ANTI-TRUMP TRAITOR AND COMMIE RAND PAUL

    • Suttree

      I hope that I never purchase any hallucinogens from his supplier.

  • sw19womble

    https://twitter.com/denofgeek/status/812407827587334144

    FUCK YOU 2016

    UPDATE: On long haul flight to LAX from London. http://www.tmz.com/2016/12/23/carrie-fisher-heart-attack-plane/
    Shiiiitttt….

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      Dammit. I thought we were finished with this shit – there’s only 8 days left in the year FFS.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I don’t believe you and I won’t believe it until I see a photo of her in the hospital.

    • shastakoala

      Nooooo!

      • MynameisBlarney

        What happened? I can’t see the link.

        • sw19womble

          Carrie Fisher heart attack on flight from UK to LA. :(
          More later….

          • MynameisBlarney

            FUCK!

        • shastakoala

          There’s a couple sites reporting she had a heart attack on a plane today.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      She looked great in Rogue One, maybe a little digital, but, overall….

    • Ezio Auditore

      Hoping that she will be okay.

    • Panika MCD

      from what I’ve gathered, she’s still alive. but in the hospital as heart attacks have a bad habit of making you unwell. and the emergency occurred on a plane between London and LAX. no news as to how far into the flight it occurred. time to see if THOUGHTS N’ PRAYERS™ ever work.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        They carry those electronic defibillerator things on planes, don’t they? Dat’s a good thing.

        • Panika MCD

          yes, but it depends on a number of things including, but not limited to:

          how well trained are the operators?
          are they trained on this model or its predecessor?
          how charged is the battery?
          can they stabilize the person or will they just shock them into oblivion?
          does the patient have a history of epilepsy?
          is there a medical professional available?
          is that medical professional going to be respected by the flight attendants based on said professional’s age, gender and race?

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            RawStory is saying that they give her CPR.

            It’s my understanding that one of the big things flight attendants do is learn and provide First Aid – mostly likely including the use of the defibillerator.

          • sw19womble

            Everyone should (and can) learn to provide CPR.
            It’s very simple – even if you learn the very basics until a more qualified person/ambulance arrives. Every second counts.
            Will post a linky further up.

          • Ali | Desperately Seeking Brad

            They don’t start a stopped heart, though – they can only correct an arhythmia. So it would depend on if she was in v-fib or fucking hell FUCK YOU 2016.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            I was going to mention that bit, but I didn’t know all them big word. I just knew not all heart attacks are the same.

          • Panika MCD

            RawStory tends to skew things.

          • Panika MCD

            and it depends on the airline’s CE policy.

      • sw19womble

        Reported 15 mins before landing: which is great, timing-wise (maybe suggests deep vein thrombosis?)
        CPR and first responders is the key tho, for sure.

    • dshwa

      Jesus Christ this year can’t end soon enough.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    CNN.com’s top story is the UN vote, the headline, “US Defies Israel”.

    That’s a….strange way of putting the relationship.

    • msanthropesmr

      Forget it TX DEpt. IT’s CNN.

    • sw19womble

      Albeit quite an honest one…. especially for the MSM.
      Maybe after Bill O’Reilly’s little spate of honesty this week, CNN are copying the formula?

      • Suttree

        Yeah, they actually hit the nail on the head with that one.

        • Suttree

          But it’s OK, since they aren’t a NATO member for us to ignore.

          • sw19womble

            Israel pays its bills, so they’re all good as long as the checks keep clearing.
            #protectionracket

          • Suttree

            Then why do they need $38 billion dollars in military aid over ten years from us? Shut up! I know the answer.

          • sw19womble

            Geopolitics, man…

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Jus’ friends, it’s what friends do…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I do not have most of those ingredients (in fact I pretty have only the rum), so I’ll settle for spiking my spiced cider. Merry Fucking Christmas*, dearest Wonkers!

    *I am a person of alternative faith persuasion. See how ecumenical I am?! Thanks (for nothing) Donald

    • Ezio Auditore

      From a Catholic: Happy Holidays, fellow Wonker.

      (See, Donald? I can say Happy Holidays to people and it’s not the end of the world)

      • Suttree

        I wish I knew more religious people like you. Somehow, the only really cools ones that I have known were Catholics and Unitarians. Oh, and that one lesbian Baptist. We can all be friends. Pope Nice Nice said I wasn’t going to hell for being an atheist.

        • Ezio Auditore

          Nightcrawler is a cool Catholic.

          • Suttree

            ??

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            The guy in the icon?

          • Ezio Auditore

            It’s kind of fascinating because Nightcrawler is Catholic even though religious people attack him for looking like a demon which also as a bisexual Catholic I sort of…related to.

          • Suttree

            ??

          • Ezio Auditore

            My profile pic?

          • Suttree

            ???

          • sw19womble

            !!!

          • Suttree

            ..!.

          • sw19womble

            !

        • pianoplayer1

          Episcopalians are great. (They are called “Whiskeypalians” here in Alabama.)

          • Suttree

            Heehee! You may see me talk shit about southerners here, but I did meet many great people when I was down there. I actually met a really great guy from Huntsville when I lived in Vermont. I do miss New Orleans, but I don’t miss Mississippi. :)

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Then, throw it all out, get a fresh glass, some ice, lime (required), and fill the glass with Mount Gay….

  • beavertank

    Lemons, grapefruits, AND oranges? This sounds healthy. I should probably drink an entire gallon over this weekend. That’s the ticket.

  • boyblue122

    OT – It looks like 2014 Drumpf was trying to warn everyone about 2016 Drumpf

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/464251796354269184

    • Martini Ambassador

      Is a nuclear winter, dumbass Donnie.

    • Reality Kills

      Donald is just insane.

    • Ezio Auditore
    • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

      Hello, pot. Have you met the kettle?

      • Panika MCD

        “no, but I know frying pan because frying pan is one of the BEST PEOPLE!”

        • Notreelyhelping

          “Only God owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death.” — William S. Burroughs

          • Panika MCD

            where the fuck did you get that?! I need a citation like 15 years ago!

          • Notreelyhelping

            I think it’s from Burroughs’ “Interzone” collection, but I can’t remember the piece. It works best if you read in that dry, Midwestern, carny barker voice.

          • Panika MCD

            THANK YOU. I never got much into him because he’s kind of a starter poet and I started in a different place.

            in HS I did an independent English study on all of the poetry movements after the Moderns. one of the books I used for the beat poets is a book called San Francisco Beat: Talking With the Poets which is basically conversations about poets who were not in the room. most of the conversations were old recordings transcribed and all of them devolve into “where Ginsburg went wrong”. Ferlinghetti published it and didn’t think that even if a tape where others were talking about him did exist, no one was going to fess up and give it to him (they did, it was from 1969, but he was in that conversation as well, so he decided to publish them both) so he convened a group to talk about himself.

            in the 1969 conversation, he starts talking about Finnegans Wake Burroughs doing cut ups and says:

            In Burrought’s case it didn’t come out of the Joycean vision at all…it came out of the junkie vision. It was too hard on his body to keep up the junkie vision. To arrive at a different type of reality dislocation, he cut up the words by cutting up the paper, which was easier on his own head and body. He put down the drugs and picked up a pair of scissors. Anyone who can pick up a frying pan–

            and then he gets interrupted by David Meltzer and my teachers and I always wanted to know how the sentence ended. now I’m going to have to mail Xmas cards to them to tell them.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Most folks talk about Burroughs’ “Naked Lunch” (which I just couldn’t wrap my head around until I realized it was brilliant satire), but I think my favorite is “The Western Lands.” Really a fine book and a succinct realization of Burroughs’ worldview. (Let’s just forget I wrote that sentence.)

          • Panika MCD

            you do you. I have no problem with people loving him. I just don’t really.

          • Notreelyhelping

            I hear you. I have great respect for Updike, but every time I’ve tried to read him, I feel like I’m stuck in the train’s bar car with a guy sharing his brilliant insights about people I don’t even want to know.

          • Panika MCD

            I have 0 respect for Updike.

          • Notreelyhelping

            He wrote very well about people who loved perfect lawns.

          • Panika MCD

            I do not love lawns. they cost too much.

    • Panika MCD

      no kidding.

    • Doug Langley

      Anyone know some crazy or incompetent leaders who wanna get their hands on nukes?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Idiot. Use enough nukes and we end up with a serious case of global cooling as as the dust thrown up into the upper atmosphere increases the planet’s reflectivity (AKA, albedo, for science wonks). Don’t tell Trump that, he might pivot and decide climate change is real so he can nuke our asses so he can get a nice warm fuzzy.

    • Incoming Ham

      I’m sorry Mr. Trump, but we need some more tests. Your scores on the “Self Awareness” portion of this test were troubling.

      O/T: Why do all of the wingnut radio hosts sell supplements? I had the misfortune to hear Dana Loesch’s Radio Show And Friday Night Witch-Cackling Seminar and she also sells some beetroot supplement.

  • Reality Kills

    Pardon my french, guys. I am drunk and I have something to say: Fuck you Donald and your elitist Cabinet!

    • Ezio Auditore

      That sounds like the most sober thing I have ever heard.

      • Reality Kills

        LOL! Thank you for the laugh!

    • beavertank

      No no, it should be: Nique ta mere Donald, et ton élitiste Cabinet!

      • Reality Kills

        You’re right!! Hahaha!

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      screw the Cabinet and stick to Cabernet is my doctor’s advice.

    • Panika MCD

      hey, just because we’re an elitist cabinet, doesn’t mean that we want anything to do with the Grande Detour! #NotAllCabinets

  • Reality Kills

    WW!: Started by the assassination of Frank Ferdinand.
    WWII: Started with the Invasion of Poland.
    WWIII: Started with a tweet.

    • Rouge Skwerl!

      The world will not go out with a bang, but with a tweet.

      • Reality Kills

        Indeed!

    • Ezio Auditore

      Russian ambassador getting killed in Turkey is a very scary parallel with WW1.

      • Reality Kills

        Heck, yes. I have thought about all that. I see people are downplaying it but that’s what humans always do. Underestimate things. I think that assassination is going to turn into something bigger.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    Heh, the lame trumpanzee over in one of the other threads just told me to relax cause trump won the election and the world didn’t end….I told him the guy hasn’t even taken office yet! Low bar for success indeed.

    • Doug Langley

      . . . hasn’t even take office yet and already started a trade war with China.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        and restarted (or amped up) the arms race with Russia…

    • Panika MCD

      where?

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        Comey / Lynch threat I think…
        Also I’m using that thing we came up with a few weeks ago where we call all trolls Brad.

        • Panika MCD

          but I usually call them Princess!

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            To each their own, my friend. You be you.

          • sw19womble

            Can’t we work together on this, and call them Princess Brad?

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Cupcake (which I’ve used since back when I was on Yahoo Answers) has always worked for me.

          • Panika MCD

            I always forget “Cupcake”! and “Muffin”!

  • Reality Kills

    Donald’s going to declare wars on his Twitter account.

    • Reality Kills

      And the other side is going to say, you didn’t let us know you declared war on us, and Donald is going to say, I did! Are you following me on Twitter?! No. Well, you are a loser!

    • Panika MCD

      the Grande Detour will not have the power to declare war even after Jan. 20. this is something K-Conn should have fun explaining to him and Bannon.

      • Reality Kills

        I still can’t believe Hillary won the popular vote with 3M and still lost!

        • Panika MCD

          I can. we do reapportionment every 10 years after the Census is concluded. the further you get into the intervening decade, the less accurately the EC reflects the population. we’re halfway through that decade (since the reapportionment occurs in years ending in 1)–of course it’s inaccurate.

          • Reality Kills

            We should send liberals to the swinging states and turn them blue.

          • Panika MCD

            I’m sure Breitbart will find this plan not at all a plan to exterminate white people. you bet!

    • sw19womble

      What’s his Twitter account done now?

      • Reality Kills

        Spreading his stupidness.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    The Reign of Terror is starting to sound like a good idea.

    • ltmcdies

      maybe France will send over a guillotine

  • Brian

    Welp, Carrie Fisher is in critical condition after having a heart attack on a plane. Fuck this year, time to drink!

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Fuck this horrid year sideways.

      Drink. Drink NOW dammit.

      • notaten

        Fuuuuuuuck! And she’s only 60? Fuuuuuuuccckkk Yoooouuu 2016!!! Just stop already!

    • ltmcdies

      fuck this fucking fuck of year….2016…burn in hell

      fingers crossed Carrie Fisher pulls through and recover

  • kindness

    You had me at Rum.

  • ViveLaRésistance

    OT: The US just settled with Deutsche Bank over the mortgage-backed securities investigation for about half the amount required in September. DRINK!

    • notaten

      I’m thinking it’s because they know that Drumpft would have settled it for nothing but a forgiveness of his personal debts to them. It’s not looking like anyone is ever going to call him on his grift, so better to get a couple of bucks than nothing.

    • sw19womble

      Say, you know who else tried appeasement tactics with the Germans?

      • Doug Langley

        The boys from Brazil?

      • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

        Lili Von Schtupp?

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Well, she was tired…

  • Reality Kills

    We are going into recession in year 3. Donald won’t take responsibility for it.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Did Lou Reed ever do a Christmas album, cuz I could really use something like that this year.

    • sw19womble

      Metal Machine Music was his homage to 2016.

  • Doug Langley

    I was out of citrus, so I used tomatoes. Ran out of rum, so used Bud. No peels, so used – oh, you guessed it:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dd2d9544ac626ab5c1aae4d6da27f9b1546b3df4f473a37b56b2f18f58dbcce0.jpg

    • The Witch of Endor

      Liquid CANNNED CLAMMMMMSSSSS1!!!!!!!!1! noooooooo!

      • Doug Langley

        You gotta improvise.

        • Suttree

          Stick a shot of vodka in it after the first few sips.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        Chelada – making canned clams even worse.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        YOU MONSTER!!! HAPPY EVERYTHING, MONSTERS!!

        • The Witch of Endor

          BACK AT YOU AND A FUCKING GREAT NEW YEAR IF I’M TOO DRUNK LATER ON TO SAY IT!!!!!

          • CindyinEncinitas

            That’s right thought of ya!

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
      • Doug Langley

        That’s gotta have a higher iron content than Popeye’s spinach.

    • boyblue123

      “The perfect combination” for? Inducing somebody to vomit?

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    The Sense8 “Christmas special” is up, it actually listed as season 2, episode 1 (further episodes TBA). Directed by Lana Wachowski, is that the first solo credit for one of them? Wonder how Lilly is.

  • mancityRed6

    whiskey + glass = something, something, xmas spirit

    • Suttree

      vodka + pickle juice = something, something, I don’t have to go to the store

      • mancityRed6

        are you working on a homemade ipecac?
        you’re missing the circus peanuts and the punch to the groin

        • Suttree

          NO! That’s what the spicy berled peanuts are for. The punch to the groin is what happens later.

          • mancityRed6

            you’re having boiled peanuts?
            damn, let’s break out the pickled eggs, too!

          • Suttree

            I actually don’t mind a can of spicy berled nuts with a case of beer. /shame

          • mancityRed6

            have had deep fried peanuts, but not boiled

          • Suttree

            Down south they were usually right by checkout. Impulse buy!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      = more whiskey, same glass….is that it? Math is just hard….

      • mancityRed6

        repeat as necessary.
        remember, you can’t physically fall off of the floor.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Speak for yourself…

          • mancityRed6

            if it feels like it, just make your way to the nearest porcelain god

  • Reality Kills

    Abolish the Electoral College! It was supposed to be one man/woman, one vote!

    • The Witch of Endor

      We’re a Republic so it’s never been one person, one vote. :(

  • Reality Kills

    Votes from Ohio > votes from NY, CA

    • natoslug

      Was it here that I read that a vote in Montana is worth 85,000 California votes, or was it in my statistics refresher class? Either way, the Electoral College needs to die, with votes. Finally, something we can literally kill with votes!

      • Reality Kills

        I wholeheartedly agree!

      • Suttree

        1 electoral college vote in Montana equals 85k votes, while 1 electoral vote in California equals 265k votes, I believe.

      • boyblue123

        Its because no matter how tiny the population, every state gets at least 3 electors

        One for each senator, one for each rep.

        There could theoretically be a state with a population of one person who counts as 3 electoral votes

    • Doug Langley

      I was thinking I felt pretty empowered on Election Day.

      • Reality Kills

        We here in Maryland 70% voted for Hillary and yet that didn’t matter.

        • Doug Langley

          Sigh, I voted for Hillz and it didn’t matter either.

          • sw19womble

            Hey, it’s all good: I couldn’t vote, and Trump is still going to fuck the entire planet.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Hell, I voted twice for Hillary in Michigan and it didn’t move the needle…(okay, once was in the primary – any trolls can unbunch their panties now)

          • Reality Kills

            Understand your disappointment. Do you know 90% of DC voted for Hillary?

    • mancityRed6

      the FBI inside joke about any incest case:
      “Is it Ohio?”

  • Shibusa

    I got nothin’. But I do enjoy this Twitter account:
    https://twitter.com/dog_rates/status/811386762094317568

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      We had a puppy freak out in the car while we went into the gas station. The four kids and I came back to find him stuck in the groove between the split front seat and the back seat. In his panic he both threw up and shit the floor. Our fault, our karma….my cleanup job….

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Done. Music for the rest of the night.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-JqH1M4Ya8

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

    Looking for last-minute gift ideas? RWW has you covered!

    Last week, Colorado state Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt emailed members of
    his Pray In Jesus Name Project a promotion for his hit book, “The Demons
    of Barack H. Obama,” letting them know that it makes a perfect present…
    We read the book back in 2014, and can attest that readers will learn all about Obama’s dozens of demonic spirits,
    which, according to Klingenschmitt, include the spirits of “death,”
    “murder,” “child-murder,” “sexual abuse,” “genocide,” “paganism,”
    “witchcraft,” “homosexual lust” and “anti-Christian oppression.”

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/the-2016-right-wing-watch-war-on-christmas-gift-guide/

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Gordon Klingenschmitt himself again…

      • yyyaz

        I wondered what that intolerable stench was.

    • mancityRed6

      I’ll wait til I find it at the local goodwill

    • notaten

      If not for the “paganism” and “witchcraft”, I would have thought it was a book about the Republican platform.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      That Klingenschmitt has some strange hobbies.

  • Pinkham’s Law
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      So, Pinkham, don’t you know any Leonard Cohen?…

      • Pinkham’s Law

        One at a time. Many to remember.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    I’ll crash disqus by myself, if I have to.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kszLwBaC4Sw

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Pinkham’s Law

    Dems don’t know how to play.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8NZa9wYZ_U

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Ali | Desperately Seeking Brad

    Great, Trumpkin with MAGA hat in bar.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Ask him/her how he/she feels about no lock her up, or appointing Goldman Sachs execs, or no Wall, or no deportation force.

      • Ali | Desperately Seeking Brad

        Did not actually get a chance. Had no ID, told to leave. I expect an angry Facebook/Twitter post on libtard oppression.

    • I’ll buy him a spilled drink. No really.

    • Résistance Land Shark
      • Ali | Desperately Seeking Brad

        I got one for me and one for my brother!

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • msanthropesmr

    Is this where we post cat pictures?

  • sw19womble

    In honor of Carrie Fisher, your (brit-flavoured) Thursday Night PSA:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILxjxfB4zNk

    (911 for you colonial types, also don’t sue me!)

    • mancityRed6

      I saw him In Llandudno when he was on a tour for his album (!!!!)
      yeah, he was a better actor and footy player

  • Rick Hill
  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations
  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Pinkham’s Law

    Could he blow our minds more than they already are?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI66hcu9fIs

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Pinkham’s Law

    May God’s Love Be With You.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXSGocWifAg

  • msanthropesmr

    This is our cat. Otherwise known as Jupiter. She is considering filing a grievance with the SPCA for not enough comfy spaces to lie on. She can feel a pea, somewhere in there. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc4650dda306242a0a3db4072383e9f0e1c9d0e463813683d69a06a2c1a71e7c.jpg

  • boyblue123

    Nice, the Rockettes wont be forced to perform anymore at the inauguration

    https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/812385012859420672

    • Doug Langley

      Now that’s kicking some butt.

  • eyelashviper

    Love this card, it seems to cover the sentiment of this Holiday Season:

    http://www.papercards.com/store/graphics/avanti/cd7976-elf-dog-loving-santas-leg-christmas-card.jpg

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    So there’s a new Christian movie and before you guys write it off and make (non-existent) snarky comments, you should see this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CL0yUbSS5Eg

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      Somebody had something about boycotitng this movie because in this movie god was “fat and black” (not my phrase, but the person who wants to boycott).

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Why do I have a suspicion this person didn’t freak out when Morgan Freeman was playing God…

        • Jamoche

          They probably didn’t notice – that wasn’t an Officially Sanctioned Christianist Movie.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Magical Negroes, Arabs (or other Semite) AND Asians! Rescue that white man, y’all!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        She’s even more Magical because she’s God! (That’s honestly my favorite part)

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    From joe my god:

    Because as we’ve seen a thousand times, he’ll lie about anything. Via Politico:

    Donald Trump and his doctor claim he’s 6-foot-3, but his New York driver’s license says he’s actually an inch shorter. A copy of Trump’s license, obtained by POLITICO through an open-records request, lists the president-elect at 6-foot-2.

    It may just be an inch, but size apparently matters to Trump. A letter that the businessman candidate displayed this summer from his longtime gastroenterologist — while appearing on the Dr. Oz show — stated he was 6-foot-3, though media reports were quick to point out discrepancies.

    Slate, for example, posited that Trump was adding an inch to his height to avoid crossing into obesity territory — he also weighed 236 pounds — on the BMI index. That Slate article pointed to multiple media that pegged Trump as 6-foot-2, including Google, though the search engine now has Trump at 6-foot-3.

    According to a profile published earlier this year by Time, Trump gets quite incensed over any report showing him shorter than 6’3″.

    http://www.joemygod.com/2016/12/23/politico-trump-does-lie-about-his-height/

    • boyblue123

      Its almost like hes compensating for something else all the time….

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      He and I are nearly the same weight, I’m more than half a foot shorter than him, and I look better (and skinnier). Is it possible he’s lying about his weight too?

      • Jennifer R

        During the campaign they put out a letter saying he was 273.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          My dad and my sister have both weighed that much (pretty sure they lost weight). My sister looked a little bigger than Donald (she’s shorter than I am) and my dad was skinnier (he’s shorter than Donald). I think it’s actually somewhere around 320.

          • Jennifer R

            I was 342 at my heaviest and 6 foot 3 after a back injury and I looked about the same size as deadbeat donnie.

          • Jonny On Maui

            320 at 6’2″ was my max. Now working on breaking the 235 threshold I’m stuck at.

          • Jennifer R

            I managed to hit 160 about two years ago but I couldn’t really maintain that easily, 170-175 though was fine.

        • Notreelyhelping

          250 without the head. (Sorry, Hemingway.)

    • Scrofula

      No fucking chance he’s 236 at six-two. No fucking chance he drives, either.
      Folks with blogs here need to start a google-hijack whatever it’s called:
      “Google, How tall is Donald Trump? DONALD TRUMP IS SIX FOOT ONE, 320 POUNDS.”

    • Scrofula

      1984 left out the part where in the future, the subversives won’t undermine authority with bombs or rallies; they’ll fight authority by pointing out it’s not as tall as it claims, has short fingers.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    I think I’m saying goodby to 2016 tonight. Bowie Sings Lennon:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSx3uT9cJ04

    • HazooToo

      Have you posted this one yet? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5P63qGTm_g

      • Pinkham’s Law

        No. hadn’t gotten to that yet. SUCH a deep catalog. I have tears running down my face as I post.

        • HazooToo

          Watching Labyrinth again. He was so amazing, I can’t really believe he’s gone.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Bowie and Lennon sing together:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PhW6x82v7U

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    OT: Really OT: Extremely OT: An art project I worked on and put in our front hall…..The print is a reproduction of a lithograph. The bike is a 1971 Record Du Monde Peugeot. But of course (said with a French accent)

    Sorry it is sideways.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aa6999d053328042aea6d5b2ce463b5419d6dfb6e327f9ed63717a6eb2bed5f9.jpg

    • Jonny On Maui

      Nice!

    • HazooToo

      That is beautiful, great job! I am going to pretend that is not sideways at all, because otherwise my brain can’t handle it. Your entire home is now a Sideways House Art Installation.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Bowie’s last public performance. I need a break. I’ll be back.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWfYAxkBgQg

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

    Substituted unsymmetrical dimethyl hydrazine for the gin. Will not make again.

    • sw19womble

      I’m no rocket scientist, but….

  • Pinkham’s Law

    One more before I break.
    Yes, We Can!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsYp9q3QNaQ

  • Brian
  • Jonny On Maui

    For the non-drinkers amoung us that happen to toke…

    Have you ever blended strains? If not, give it a go. Once long ago I mixed Pineapple Express with White Ice. The effect was quite pleasant and much better than either standing alone. We called the blend ‘WIPE’, as that’s what it did to our cares and woes, WIPEd them away…

    Happy Holidays!

    • Scrofula

      It’ll be a while before we get going on the legal weed here in CA, but do you have recommendations for strains that do NOT produce psychedelic experiences? I mean, sometimes that’s good, usually I just want to get absorbed in a movie. (I think I did too much LSD–weed can make me trip harder than any shrooms, but usually not as pleasant)

      EDIT: Obviously it’s easy to find weed, but I can’t trust heavy-using friends (OK, all of my friends) for my light-weight ass.

      • Jonny On Maui

        If cannabis is causing LSD like experiences, I’d lay off the cannabis. Or try the low THC high CBD strains. There used to be only Charlotte’s Web for high CBD, but I believe that’s changed and there’s other options out there.

        • Scrofula

          Yeah, I’ve avoided weed for many many years now (I was the guy who kept passing the joint; except it meant I’d drink more instead and get obnoxious). Anyway, I was looking forward to legal weed to find a strain that might get me closer to the old days of good music and fascinating infomercials. Thanks for the input.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You’re welcome.

          • Suttree

            Are you my doppleganger?

          • Scrofula

            Yeah, look behind you!

          • Suttree

            Gah!

          • Jennifer R

            I saw this porn once.

            It got strange.

      • Jennifer R

        Depending where you live in CA you may have access to a lot of options for high CBD strains, and really names are mostly marketing anyway. No one is actually policing who calls what plant what. You want to find a vendor with a lab book you can see the actual values for, as well as reputable edible/extract vendors. Kiva and Korova both make high CBD low THC edibles and absolute extracts makes several high CBD vape pen carts. If you are a very sparing user a cheap vape pen could actually be what you want, as the extract in the cartage is less volatile than food, or cured flowers, and you can get a more even dose from one hit to the next.

        • Scrofula

          Thanks. Yeah, one toke off even a spliff can make me a head-tripping zombie.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah you should look at low THC high CBD sure. Or even medium CBD something that is .2% THC and 5-8% CBD.

        • Notreelyhelping

          Yep. Harle-Tsu is nice. Uh…so I’ve heard.

      • Suttree

        That happens to me a lot when I smoke. I don’t smoke much because of that.

      • mancityRed6

        I’ve had bad lsd and mushroom experiences
        (bad in that people forgot to breathe and you’re on a sidewalk in front of their house on a sunday morning helping them vomit bad), I still wouldn’t turn either down.
        never had a bad time on herb.

        • Jennifer R

          My bad acid experiences are more like, I feel like I am a terrible person, not so much stopping breathing.

          • mancityRed6

            the bad acid trip was introspection on how every single woman I’d ever been with was perfect and I fucked it up and now I’m laying on the carpet and can’t stop thinking about it.
            the bad shroom trip involved everyone else vomiting because they literally couldn’t remember to breathe and me staying up watching 3 people sleep so they didn’t slip away.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Mr. Mescaline did that to me until I changed my ways…

            Never had a bad acid or shroom experience.

          • Jennifer R

            I mean if I subconsciously compare myself to Bojack then surely I must be doing something wrong.

          • mancityRed6

            maybe that’s just me, then

          • mancityRed6

            second night of shrooms (completely different experience),
            we’re watching Heavy Metal and I’m thinking nothing is happening until I see the posters on the walls flapping in a nonexistent breeze and somehow the ceiling is at least five feet taller than before.

          • Jennifer R

            shrooms and 4ac0-dmt just make my stomach hurt ;.;

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, but 5 minutes of thinking you’re gonna heave and then you have some more orange juice.

          • Jennifer R

            I mean, I only get body load period. Nothing psychoactive. Well that one time I let my friends eyeball the doses the 4AC0 had a mild effect.

          • mancityRed6

            *cringes*
            I’ve had “liquid” before, it was more of an ecstasy effect.
            I just wanted to drive and then I wanted to cuddle.

          • Jennifer R

            “liquid”? Some sort of RC I take it?

          • mancityRed6

            it was $20 a drop out of a little bitty mint bottle. I paid for two hits each for me and the GF at the time. No idea, I am kind of a trusting soul.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah, an RC of some kind, I could probably guess which one too. I’ve had a solid form of that before.

        • Scrofula

          LSD has never been bad to me. Shrooms have been intense, talk-to-God stuff, but LSD is always like, “this is the true reality, and only I know it. I am one with true reality now. This is where I belong.” Good stuff.

          • mancityRed6

            two hits of acid, a pack of smokes and a jug of OJ, i’m good.
            load up that “wall” video

          • Scrofula

            Fuck yeah. Don’t forget James and the Giant Peach. Also those Baraka movies. But while cruising, go for a walk and talk to the cats.

          • mancityRed6

            We watched Fantasia and then put on some Hendrix and stepped outside with the jug of OJ.
            Made it up the street and were playing around a church when we saw a cigarette cherry across the street and got really paranoid.
            Made it home. In the dark, in my shotgun rental house, I stepped on a creaky floorboard.
            I did it again.
            “Huh.”
            “What?,” she asked.
            “The cats creak when you step on them.”

          • Scrofula

            Few people know that cats live half on the acid plane. That’s why they recognize you when you’re tripping. They can see you.
            They’re wise that way.

          • Jennifer R

            Look a cat in the eyes, of course they are all tripping, look at their pupils!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Cats see into other dimensions…

          • mancityRed6

            I really need a hit, just so Karlos and I can get on the same page.
            Stahp scratching the damn futon!
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ab8b15fa5f0a8b35e5ac35e8957f29f5d2bec03963b13ca7379bcb66bcfde58f.jpg

          • Scrofula

            There are tiny people living in the futon; only he can see them.
            And apparently he wants to kill them and destroy their farms and cities.

          • mancityRed6

            maybe if I dosed, and put on some Floyd for about 6 hours or so, I would see them and help.
            until then, he’s just an ass.

          • Jennifer R

            My first acid experience was someone setting up an 8 hour pony music video play list.

    • HazooToo

      I look forward to the days when I can actually shop for weed and pick what I want, but right now, I’m happy with my mystery baggie. I have no idea what it’s called, or whether it’s the same kind as the stuff from last month, but it’s stinky and it keeps the existential dread from setting in!

      • mancityRed6

        the first store I went to in Denver smelled so skunky, and that was on the outside.
        it’s a trip, coming from someone who bought from whomever was selling, to go to having to pick flavors and all of that.

        • HazooToo

          What I want is to find a blend that doesn’t completely obliterate my sense of time. Right now, five minutes feels like twenty.

          • mancityRed6

            indica? in da couch
            sativa? head trip
            and watch your THC percentages

          • HazooToo

            My mystery bag hits me in the forehead and back of the neck, and the cotton mouth is WIIIILD. I can get stuff done, but I’ll turn around five times just to grab one thing, and I’ll lose concentration in a heartbeat. But it saved my fucking life on Nov 10th!

          • mancityRed6

            what johnny said up above: hybrid
            add a good movie or two and some munchies (keep the sugar content low, that’s a theory of mine) and enjoy

          • Jonny On Maui

            Hybrid? couchy head trip!

          • Jennifer R

            There are at least 7 probably psychoactive cannabis, so it’s a hair more complicated than that. Besides what about Cannabis Ruderalis?

          • mancityRed6

            hey, I just learned about different strains.
            I’m more used to: “eighth bag for $20? Cool.”

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah I am currently stuck at being able to afford the dispensary version of that.

          • mancityRed6

            stuck?
            just remember, there are people who would love to be in that position

          • Jennifer R

            Honestly, the 5 dollar grams are only better than mystery bag because there is always a 10 gallon drum of it to buy.

          • mancityRed6

            I think I have $5 in change right now.
            Seriously, I’m in redneck country.
            You didn’t ask what strain it was, just if it was for sale.

          • Jennifer R

            I remember the summer that my friend mary met the hippies. She was hitch hiking somewhere in east/south Asheville in the summer of 06 and a white guy with dreads driving a late model van stops and her 5 foot 3 ass gets in. She ends up asking if he knows where she can buy some weed and he says he can hook her up. So we spent all summer driving from one place he and his girlfriend were squatting at to the next. More than one old house that they broke in to and lived in for a week or so. Then there was the creepy guy who grew in the gas station he worked/lived at.

            The bathroom meth cooker in arkansas sold 80 dollar brick ounces for a while too.

          • mancityRed6

            ’97-’00, I was buying whatever the second shift supervisor was getting for $105 an ounce. He’d complain about too many sticks and stones, too. And get a refund.
            In ’99, I went to Texas where the same stuff cost about $60.
            If it weren’t for the fire ants, killer bees or republicans, I’d be down there still.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah the brick weed was 2008 so even with the seeds and rust it was an excellent deal. But, you know, Arkansas.

          • mancityRed6

            This was Joplin, so about 20 miles north of the Arkansas state line.

          • Jennifer R

            Fort Smith, which I guess qualifies as Big City. My first weed experience however was in Huntsville Texas. I moved in with a guy I met online and out with his friends one night they pulled out a 3 foot tall He-man figure they had turned in to a giant bong. Weed on the head, carb on the ass, mouth piece on the crotch.

          • mancityRed6

            that beats my 4′ bong stories to shit, dammit

          • Jennifer R

            A bunch of queers sitting around an apartment in rural Texas sucking on He-man’s dick to get high. It writes itself.

          • mancityRed6

            would it make a difference if they were all straight?

          • Jennifer R

            It’s kind of better that way TBH. I guess some of them might have been straight? My boyfriend wasn’t and I am pansexual but that’s sort of squabbling.

          • mancityRed6

            there was a head shop I went to in San Diego. they had a bong, in glorious living color, of a 12″ dick with the bowel nestled between the balls.
            that is an image I cannot ever erase.

          • Jennifer R

            Love it.

          • mancityRed6

            I wouldn’t say no.
            Hell, I’ve smoked through an inflatable sheep.

          • Jennifer R

            Ok, now THAT is a story I want to hear. I once made a bong out of copper coil a mason jar, some hot water grade plumbing tubing and a cheap glass slide.

          • mancityRed6

            basically, you inhale and then blow it up.
            yes, all of you, dammit.
            then, when the bowl is empty, you have a backup.

            I did have an idea, what with all the mason jar lid options that keep coming up, to mass produce a bong lid for a mason jar.
            I made a prototype and it did hit pretty good. No carb, you had to leave the lid loose and lift it up instead.

          • HazooToo

            I get mine from a neighbor who gets it from a friend who doesn’t want to share her source. My neighbor is Republican-by-Marriage, meaning she probably doesn’t even know what Republicans are anymore. I am trying to fix her. First move: Introduce her to Wonkette!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Used in hybrids for autoflower. Works amazingly!

          • Jonny On Maui

            I believe that is why big pharma will never be able to synthesize a good cannabis med. It’s the interaction of the strain with personal chemistry. A strain that relieves pain for one won’t with someone else. That’s why finding what works for you is so enjoyable. Mantuskan Thunderfuck is my daytime go to strain. Keeps me alert and pain free while physically working.

          • Jennifer R

            Doesn’t help their case that RC vendors ruined the reputation of even the idea of a synthetic cannabinoid.

          • Notreelyhelping

            C4. Not the explosive kind.

        • Jennifer R

          That was my first experience in CA. The place only had 8 or 9 strains and a couple edibles but it was a wonderland to me. Later I found Sparc in SF and holy fuck that place is like kingdom come.

          • mancityRed6

            I did my research before the trip to CO. I found stores that had prices online.
            OMFG
            a very lovely buying experience.

          • Jennifer R

            http://www.sparcsf.org/deliverymenu
            I miss this place so much. It’s kinda pricey but the selection is top notch.

          • mancityRed6

            I would pay $30 an eighth if they deliver.
            *shakes fist*
            Damn you Kansas!

          • Jennifer R

            The real draw of sparc is they have on site consumption as well as stuff like free back rubs and tea while being 200 yards from a BART stop in down town SF. If you want delivery then you can usually find someone willing to schlep a 150 dollar ounce to you.

          • mancityRed6

            you had me at free back rubs
            oh good gracious glorious god dammit
            what I wouldn’t give

          • mancityRed6

            http://www.strainwise.com
            this is two of the places I went

          • Jennifer R

            Snazzy looking. Nicer than a lot of the places I go to here in CA.

          • mancityRed6

            the shops in the city had bullet proof glass and no more than two customers at a time. they photocopied our IDs
            the shops in the mountains had velvet ropes and they only looked at our licenses.
            this is where we stayed:
            http://www.budandbfast.com/bbsilverthorne/

          • Jennifer R

            There is a place in Oakland run by the police (I know) that is like that. Someone opens a door and lets you in, you give them a serial number and they let you sit in an empty concrete room. Then they let n-1 customers in to the back at a time where n is the number of employees in the back. Nice enough place, and decent prices even without a weight break.

          • Jennifer R

            https://weedmaps.com/dispensaries/alpine-alternative#/details
            That is my place of choice here in Sacramento right now. Close enough to walk to.

          • mancityRed6

            The last GF I had in Joplin was from Butte County. Chico, to be exact.
            You have no idea how close I came to moving to Sacramento with her.

          • Jennifer R

            I am not super up on Sacramento, but it’s an improvement over any place in the south or south east.

          • mancityRed6
    • mancityRed6

      *sideeye*
      2017 will bring another trip to Colorado and the requisite “souvenirs”.
      until then,
      *sideeye from Kansas*

    • Jennifer R

      I have a four stage grinder, so now and again I can pour out the kief from the trap and have a dozen different strains all at once.

      • mancityRed6

        do you need a roommate?
        can I bring a couple of cats?

        • Jennifer R

          Ya know, Me and my roommate rather could do with someone else around. Cats are great too.

          • mancityRed6

            don’t tease.
            I’ll break it to the parents on Sunday.

          • Jennifer R

            You didn’t even hear about the standing vaporizer.

          • mancityRed6

            JFC
            I’ve never been north of Anaheim.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You have a Volcano?

          • Jennifer R

            Way over priced. I have https://arizer.com/extreme-q/
            It doesn’t use plastic for the bowl either, 14mm glass on glass, you can even hook it to a standard bong. I use 24 pound Reynolds turkey bags and a bag lasts for a week or two before it’s too sticky to keep using. (don’t throw them away pour alcohol in them and drain it in to a pie pan to dry for some yummy low grade hash). All for 400 dollars cheaper, and even more if you buy off Amazon like a rational person.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Good deal! Thanks for the info!

          • Jennifer R

            I’ve had mine for four years as well, the only thing that has broken is one of the bowls after a dumbass ex of mine used a scalpel to clean it and left a bunch of etches in it. There is also value added in that the inside of the base tends to collect your spilled flower instead of the carpet, so you have a cleaner rainy day fund, and the amber colored “resin” (it’s actually reclaim) is well worth putting back in small amounts (it’s potent stuff).

          • Vecchiojohn

            I want to be like you when I grow up.

          • Jennifer R

            And here I was thinking that I am the *bad* example.

      • Jonny On Maui

        That kief makes great little hash balls! Drop one in the middle of a bong bowl…

    • Suttree

      I think that you should be my AA sponsor. :)

      • Jonny On Maui

        LOL! I didn’t go the AA route when I quit drinking. My sister did. That’s why she’s referred to as the professional alcoholic and I’m the amateur…

        • Suttree

          Hehe. I have been to many a meeting. I still drink, but I’ve cut back from the near death realm. If I could go green, I think that I could cut down even more. I used to be able to get some stuff that was chill, and didn’t freak me out.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Some day my brother, the weed will be freed across this great land and you’ll be able to work with a budrista to find your strain.

          • Jennifer R

            I went from a fifth of hard booze a day to a couple drinks a month thanks to easier cannabis access.

          • Suttree

            I was at a handle a day plus a twelve pack of beer way back when. I got pancreatitis and spent a few weeks in the hospital.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Bubblegum and XJ-13 (if you can find it). Smoooooth.

    • Vecchiojohn

      I do this all the time. Mostly because I forget what I just smoked before this stuff. Whatever it is.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Da Jamaican’s have a rhyme for their rum punch:
    1 part sour
    2 parts sweet
    3 parts strong
    4 parts weak
    Sour is fresh lime juice. Sweet is Grace’s Strawberry Syrup, found in your more ethnically oriented supermarkets. Strong is Wray & Nephew Overproof Rum. Weak, I use water. Others use various juices. Try water first. Toss in a tablespoon of allspice berries and let sit for a day or two.

    • Jamoche

      Drop the last line and that’s a basic cocktail ratio.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        We make it by the litre.

        • Krombopulous Pichael

          attaboy! way to step up

    • Suttree

      Wait? I suck on potatoes waiting for vodka to come out of them.

      • sw19womble

        That’s what Melania said too.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Don’t make me come over there.

  • Reality Kills

    I thought I was an idiot but then along came Donald.

  • The Witch of Endor

    I’m still in a solstice paganny mood. While not appropriate for the season, I feel the need to dance…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxTpvA-pUG0&list=LLqk3Z1Cz00ciUWHxA7huAAw&index=27

  • mancityRed6

    this might–I said might, dammit–change my mind about xmas music
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2MZyKvNMBg

  • Reality Kills

    Ghost in the Shell: Innocent

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    If 2016 keeps trying to take people, I’m gonna find the Grim Reaper and Force Choke him.

    • sw19womble

      I find 2016’s lack of faith in decent human beings disturbing.

  • Reality Kills

    Fuck Donald!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    The Physics of Santa and His Reindeer (no doubt many Wonkenerds know this one)

    The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that “flying reindeer” (see above) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload (not even counting the weight of the sleigh) to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance — this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

    In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

    More here. http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/santa/physics.asp

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Santa routinely violates the laws of physics, but he swears it’s consensual.

  • Notreelyhelping

    For those of you in the legal states, may I suggest a gram of Violet Delight for Christmas Eve. You can sit and stare at the tree while you crank some Jeff Beck. Calmly watch the fire. In the fireplace. Safety tip: wrap the packages first.

    Cheery Festivus, Wonkers!

    • Ezio Auditore

      *Jerry Stiller voice* I have some grievances and Donald is going to hear all of them!

    • Vecchiojohn

      Thank you for your service.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Since the top act for the inauguration is an 80s cover band, I’m wondering if I can request “My Dad’s A Fuckin’ Alcoholic” by Frantix. 1983, if i recall. Good times!

  • oh jeez Carrie Fisher had a massive heart attack and is in critical condition. 2016, don’t you dare.

    • Shit! Noooooo!

    • HazooToo

      2016: *looks you in the eyes and pushes another glass off the shelf*

    • Daisy

      Oh, fuck, I’m about to start crying in my living room.

  • Ezio Auditore

    Just thinking about the article about that Carl Paladino guy who attacked the FLOTUS. It really is pathetic how these people attack her constantly saying she looks like a man or an ape and other immature, hateful things. But she has more class in one finger than that guy has in his whole body. Also, she looks like a man? Is this guy blind?

    • HazooToo

      But if you talk about Melon, then they want to act like they give a shit. Racist assholes.

    • Suttree

      I got into an argument with my ex-girlfriend in 2008 about this. She said that Laura Bush was the epitome of a classy first lady and that Michelle was trashy. Why yes, she had a picture of her sister with the Bushes on her mantle. Why do you ask? If I have done one thing in this life, I at least least got one republican to stop saying n*****.

  • Nounverb911

    This pretty much describes 2016….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bKG0p6Tv9Q

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    OT: Carrie Fisher had a heart attack while she was on a plane. I hope she’ll be OK.

    • Nounverb911
      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Noooooo

      • Nounverb911
        • ltmcdies

          I read some of those tweets…as a health care person can I remind everyone that in an emergency one’s sense of time can be inaccurate.

          I am really hoping the whole “10 minutes not breathing” is wrong.

      • ltmcdies

        her brother is now reported to be saying she has been upgraded to “stable”
        http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2016/12/23/carrie-fisher-heart-attack/95806310/

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Oh thank god.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Luckily, she didn’t have the heart attack until they were almost in LA. She was flying in from London, so she probably would have been toast if it happened a few hours earlier. I’m glad she’s stable now. She’s always been a hoot.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Mark Hamill’s tweet says it all:

      “As if 2016 couldn’t get any worse… sending all our love to @carrieffisher.”

  • sw19womble

    2016 is Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando and I claim my $5:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNVmXyZUerg

    • Ezio Auditore

      I need to buy a stress ball because after a year of homophobes, neo-Nazis, white supremacists, misogynists and emboldened trolls and other deplorables this is what I want to see happen to them.

  • Nounverb911

    New York Magazine presents “2016, The Year in Memes”.

    https://twitter.com/NYMag/status/812433507758772224

  • The Witch of Endor

    So….this is massively OT, but I’m curious if anyone here has watched the Sense8 holiday special?

    • snark-lurker

      wut n wear iz it?

      • The Witch of Endor

        It’s a show that premiered on Netflix in June of ’15. It’s about 8 people from all over the world who wake up “connected” to each other.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Since I suspect we can use as much happy nice time as possible, here’s the dog who owns me. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/275befe97863e9dcf574ebeaf17cc8bcecbf665530679c48100765de232aebb7.jpg

    • Suttree

      Fuck you Lassie! I’m the cutest evar!

  • shastakoala

    My very own pup who happens to be named “Princess Leia.” She was having so much fun running in the snow today.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d1c5fb91a75aa10a25bee944a2c148aa859de944af52a7edb06d3d2722199fcc.jpg

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    2016: What if I kill off Car– Me: You shut your filthy mouth.

    • Daisy

      I just can’t wait until this year dies. I’ll be staying up until midnight on the 31st just to watch it end.

      • notaten

        I have planned to burn each page of the 2016 calendar in my fire pit, one at a time, reciting incantations for each month, then burning a huge sage bundle on top, just to try to purify the whole universe. I feel there is more I should do but I haven’t had time to research. Any suggestions?

        • Daisy

          Burning sounds good to me. Course, I’m from a family that loves setting fire to things, so there’s that.

        • Jennifer R

          The usual. Naked dancing, orgy, blood in the fire.

      • Doug Langley

        In that case, you should have an excellent view of the giant meteor.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    repairing our washing machine will be $945.00. Buying a brand new one will be $943.00. I just got yelled at for saying we’d be stupid to NOT buy a new one. Did I miss something?

    • Math?

    • The Witch of Endor

      Not from where I’m sitting. Unless the next topic is replacing the dryer since it’s as old as the washing machine.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Well, we’re now living in a post-reality world. So 943 could very well be greater than 945.

      • sw19womble

        Listen, under the Obama administration the unskewed inflation figures show how much the dollar has been devalued over eight years of incompetent mis-administration. Costs are sky-rocketing, while cheap Chinese goods are flooding the market and putting honest, hard-working Americans out of business. Because of Obama’s weak-willed foreign policy, we simply can’t compete. How many more blue-collar families is he going to send to the wall? I think Democrats need to answer for the painfully high costs ordinary Americans are experiencing in the washing machine sector.

        • HazooToo

          I just spilled a drop of boiling water on my foot and it went through my sock and burned me! THANKS OBAMA!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      MrsMatt has what I can best describe as an emotional attachment to her 20 year-old toaster oven, so, maybe you’ve got a similar situation on your hands?

      ETA: I wish you luck. I haven’t had an evenly toasted piece of bread from my own kitchen in several years.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Also, too the newer ones tend to be more resource efficient, so maybe the SO just needs to let it goooo.

    • notaten

      Just curious, not criticizing in any way, but what kind of washing machine do you have that costs $943? I bought a high efficiency washer and dryer last year, and the set was $1100ish.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        We were limited by how wide it could be, and the ONLY DAMN THING that would fit was a Bosch set. Premium brand, so premium $$$. Not premium longevity, it seems. It’s maybe 4 years old.

    • Yr. Gma

      You missed nothing.

    • Jennifer R

      Hauling and recycling on the old one? As well as buying a new dryer to match? Then getting a new bedroom set because why put the ratty old one through the new appliances.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        They’ll take the old one. Dryer IS an issue, since they’re stacked. Bed linens? Frette lasts half of forever.

        • Jennifer R

          And I was worrying when the roommate wanted the 200 dollar bamboo linens. You are never to talk to her, you understand?

          • Pinkham’s Law

            It’s what The Pope sleeps on!

          • Jennifer R

            I hear that guy shits in the woods though!

          • Pinkham’s Law

            It would be irresponsible not to speculate!

  • MΩebym

    Why some Planned Parenthood supporters voted for Trump. Read and weep.

    “‘I really didn’t trust Hillary at all, and that’s why I went with Trump,’ said a new mother in Harrisburg who’d been undecided until the last moment. ‘He’s more honest than her.'”

    Thank you, James Comey.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2016/12/planned_parenthood_focus_groups_reveal_clinton_s_big_blunder.html

    • HazooToo

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFUCKTHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

    • Daisy

      I had to stop reading, just to call the pregnant 27 year old one of the stupidest people I’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing about. Your emotional state cannot be attributed to every woman, particularly not one who is post-menopausal for FUCK’S SAKE!

      • HazooToo

        oH, BUT IF she’s NOT FUCKING READDY FOUYRGDHDUGDUGTDHKGDLHSDJSTDAJDT

        • Daisy

          I’m firmly of the opinion that people that stupid shouldn’t be raising children.

          • HazooToo

            “Don’t ask me! I’m just a girl! Teeheehee!” FUCK YOU SO HARD YOUR FUCKING HEAD EXPLODES YOU SELF ABSORBED TWAT

          • Daisy

            I hate humanity, at this point, and this year.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Individuals can be darling though. Humans, not years.

          • Daisy

            Which reminds me, I have to get my character background written up on Google Docs and sent to guy friend, or I don’t get to use said character.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            At this point I have three so I’ll probably just recycle them forever.

          • Daisy

            I only have one other. He needs the new character’s info because reasons. Probably related to his super elaborate world building.

          • pussygrabber in chief

            “There is literally no one in the world I don’t hate right now.”

          • Ah Toby.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I watched that episode and thought, “Wow, rude. Not even sure I was born when this show was made, but still, rude.”

          • I watched that episode and thought: i agree wholeheartedly

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I just can’t believe the people who are like “Well, yeah he said it. But he only said that to get elected. He doesn’t mean it.”

        So you voted for a liar? That’s the best possible defense you can come up with for your utter lackwitted stupidity?

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I don’t understand people who assume politicians are liars. Clearly they only bother listening to conservatives (sorry not sorry).

          • Daisy

            I can’t be bothered with the ones who don’t understand that the campaign promises are neither guarantees nor lies. The politician in question will likely at least attempt to get whatever it is through, but circumstance outside of their control can prevent certain things from happening.

          • MΩebym

            It’s so much easier on their pretty little minds to just believe that all politicians are dishonest, and leave it at that.

        • pussygrabber in chief

          Someone — who was it? — once said something about politicians often needing both public and private positions on many issues. This person — who WAS it? — was excoriated as as too untrustworthy to be president.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Shown a document listing Vice President–elect Pence’s legislative
      history on reproductive rights, a 54-year-old man in Phoenix said: “I’m
      astounded. I guess I’ve been living in a bubble. I wasn’t aware of this.
      He sounds like a tyrant when it comes to this.”

      But, but…it was talked about…but…GAH! YOU IGNORANT BELL-END!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7ee59e461b664950794f07cd19b425362ce6afde6f76638d6f092ef42a074312.gif

    • andrew

      It’s a combination of Comey and the stupidity of people like this woman.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Not a Bernie bro but Sen. Sanders is giving a class on civics and domestic policy to a group of Trump voters in a townhall meeting on MSNBC right now. It’s worth watching.

  • Nounverb911

    Putin got new puppies for Czarmas Christmas, their names are Donnie and Rex.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f28b958dca4b6c3f4393fe5da137d99d888611caca5deb2e6fad7484153d8f53.jpg

  • The Witch of Endor

    My beagle Lady aka Our Lady of the Lakes aka Miss Floodpuddle aka She Who WILL be Obeyed. ETA: My Little Meanderthal.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ed25705c54d6318adea9886789807da12f5c40da8a7a07d710d32d6ddc7aa6a7.jpg

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Such a sweet wittle despot.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      She looks really sweet.

      • The Witch of Endor

        Looks can be deceptive. She was a rescue and not long after we adopted her her attitude changed from “thank you, kind human” to “what took you so long, bitch?” My kinda dog. :)

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          I love a spoiled dog. I have a little guy I take care of, and he’s spoiled rotten, but he makes me laugh he’s so damned cute.

    • Panika MCD

      what a love!

  • Vecchiojohn

    Off to an old folks holiday party. Back in about an hour.

    • Be safe fer crissakes.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Easy on the prune juice punch!

  • Martini Ambassador

    Since we are posting holidays and kitteh stuffs…
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oMoX9ak9baw

  • Nounverb911

    Let us all sing this new version of an old time noel.

    a one ana two…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d657eec4ee24461c1b5476507c7bce213048a7a8bf561c57af66b7a0e6d109d.jpg

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Dysphoria sucks.

    Got the letter formally saying I’m hired, and it used Mr. and my male name. Now I feel yuck.

    • Big sloppy, over caffinated hugs!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’m sorry. I’m not really a hugger, do you like chocolate?

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Booze is better. :-D

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      Show up and on day one say, You can call me …
      I have worked for for at least one Buck and a Moose.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Nah, I’m working with a special ed teacher. I want to establish a rapport before I tell her. :-)

        • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

          I apologize for trivializing your situation. I recall you saying you thought she respected you. Go with that.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            Nah, you’re fine. I didn’t even take it as offense. Just was clearing it up.

    • Fooled them! Carry on as yourself BtC!

      • Blacktop Autumn

        I think the funniest thing was when I went in to meet the teacher I’m working with and she said “I’m curious to see how they react with a male.” Haha.

        Plus, there’s another aid with my first and last name, and there was a joke about it. I’m thinking “Yeah, this won’t be true for long.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I understand. But this is just a formality. You will be okay, because you will rock it once you are there.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        I know, but tell my brain that. Heh.

    • Daisy

      That bites, I’m sorry. :(

    • Shan

      I don’t even know why we use those Mr/Mrs/Ms things any more. I remember when I was a kid and I had a teacher in my “advanced” kids class in about 5th grade who explained that “Mrs is if you’re married, Miss is if you’re not, and Ms means it’s none of your business.” She didn’t explain why there wasn’t an equivalent for any of that for Mr.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Me either, honestly, but this whole hiring process has been full of that stuff. It’s part of high school to a degree, but man has this all been kinda gender crazy for me.

  • Serai 1

    Did I happen to tell you guys how big Jerry Brown’s balls are? HIS BALLZ B VERY BIGLY BALLZ.

    “California will launch its own damn satellite”

    Our kick-ass Buddhist governor is NOT HAVING TRUMP’S SHITE when it comes to climate change. YAAASS JERRY!!!

    • Pinkham’s Law
      • HazooToo

        Thank you for reminding me that this song exists.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      This is what happens when people can serve four terms. Goddamn evil Republican term limits.

  • The Witch of Endor

    https://apnews.com/968200c2fbc54f649c605d727f505689
    Carrie Fisher in stable condition.

  • Dazza

    Good morning, on the 24th December (Oz time) Wonkers.

    The Spousal Unit and I send you our best wishes for a peaceful holiday – and some quiet contemplative moments – amidst the emotional maelstrom of these holidays in a dangerous time. Thank you all for your appreciation of science and expertise, your open-heartedness for all good people, your generous support of one another, and your weaponised snark at bigots, bullies and the small-minded haters.

    I just spoke to my father, who grew up to adulthood under Nazi occupation and he reminded me that – in Denmark, at least – humour was a useful weapon against the Nazi occupiers. He also reminded me of ordinary Danes’ resistance to the isolation and deportation of Jewish fellow citizens, with stories about his own family’s’ successful efforts to protect their neighbours. His generation may be dying off, but I think they have taught many of us in the Wonkette community well – and I think the resistance will ultimately be successful.

    So peace to all of you – and we hope that you find the joy in shared friendship to light the way in darkness.

    • gaybymml96

      Have a good one, Dazza. Stay close to those you love. <3

      • Dazza

        You, too gaybymml196 – don’t let fear keep you away from holiday celebrations – esp if you are going to the Boxing Day Test. I’ll be listening to the Test on the radio and working on a new character for tabletop gaming on the 26th. I think that ‘wireless’ commentary is the best way to keep track of Test cricket – as good as listening to baseball on the radio. Stay safe. :-)

        https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/dec/24/one-man-released-and-four-charged-in-melbourne-terror-plot-case

        • gaybymml96

          Nah – headed to country Victoria (near Leongatha on the eastern side) on Boxing day for the New Year Weekend. I’m ready to get the fuck out of 2016 ASAP. :)

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Since it has been 70 years, the Danish government has released a butt load of information. I have been plowing through a lot of the stuff on the resistance. Only 700 Danish Jews died in the Holocaust. The Danes were the only Nazi occupied country to have strikes. Cool stuff like that. Unfortunately, the food was confiscated for a year, leading to famine, but that could have happened anyway.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Read my post below – apparently the Danes were pretty badass!

    • Nounverb911

      And a happy Sydney-Hobart race eve eve to you.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Peace and joy to you.
      My son and his family are in flight from Chicago to France right now. I won’t relax until they’re out of Charles de Gaulle and home with the family in Compiegne.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I just read about a Danish woman who recently passed away. She was noteworthy because she was hiding a Jewish family under the floorboards of her farmhouse during WWII. The Nazis searched the house and didn’t find the family, but one Danish policeman came back to look again and found them. She shot him dead, and she said under the same circumstances she’d do it again. What a badass lady! A mortician buried his body in the coffin with another corpse to help cover up her crime.

      Wishing you and yours a happy holiday season!

      • Dazza

        My Dad’s family ‘adopted’ a Jewish girl from their village after she literally missed the boat to Sweden in 1942. She was my father’s ‘sister’ for the duration of the occupation and the whole village kept that story/secret whole until the rest of her family returned after 1945.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Your dad’s family was very brave. Those of us in America may get a chance to prove our bravery after Trump starts WWIII. Sigh…

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I love Denmark. Helsingør, north of Copenhagen and Odder in Jutland. Great times, 1990s.

      • Dazza

        Both places are home to my mothers’ and fathers’ sides of the family.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Small, precious world we have.

  • BigBoppa pour la résistance

    Just got home and heard about Carrie Fisher.

    Fuck you 2016. Can you suck balls any more?

    • The Witch of Endor

      Her brother tweeted that she’s now in stable condition.

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        That’s good to hear. I don’t have a Twitter machine so I’m probably behind the curve.

        • The Witch of Endor

          I posted this a little further downthread.
          https://apnews.com/968200c2fbc54f649c605d727f505689

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            Oh. Like I said, I just got home and I didn’t listen to radio on the way so I’m fairly clueless right now.

      • Just My Opinion

        Good news!

      • sw19womble

        Great news! This is why CPR, during those first few minutes, is vital, and so simple even a child can do it:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff_kalDZfzU

        NB: 911 for you colonial types.

      • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

        Good news. Star Wars #24 will need Princess Leia

    • Just My Opinion

      Princess Leia fueled many masto fantasies as a young man. I’m going to pray she pulls through.

    • Shan

      She’s too ornery for this first one to take her out.

    • Panika MCD
  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    The right-wing trollz are going nutsier over Obama not pushing for a veto of the UN condemnation of Benji NutsyYahoo’s new settlements in the occupied territories.

    They get all wrapped in knots when you point out these folks also did not back a veto:

    Xi Jinping
    François Hollande
    Vladamir Putin (Benji’s Bestie Boy who has free trade agreements with Israel and who bought those drones he is using in Ukraine from Israel).
    Theresa May

    • Latverian Diplomat

      IIRC, the US has been going it alone in the “veto to protect Israel” category for quite some time.

      I suspect the resolution lacks any enforcement provisions, so, even coming from the Security Council, it’s probably just symbolic.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        I know, but…

        I feel like Vlad really, really let Benji down.

        I mean, after Vlad the Putin invaded Ukraine, Benji sold him those drones he uses to spot for artillery as his troops and the militias he has trained and armed fire on the Ukraine Army.

        And after many UN nations and all of NATO imposed targeted sanctions on Vlad and his inner circle, Benji signed a free trade and open travel agreement with Russia, and they laid a line directly to the Kremlin so the NSA couldn’t listen in on their chats anymore.

        And Vlad doesn’t show him a little love veto?

        Too bad, so sad.

    • HazooToo

      I do not understand the first paragraph for some reason, what’s going on?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Cut the peels off the citrus in one-inch-wide strips, taking care to get as little of the bitter white pith as possible.

    Does no one carry a zester anymore? You’ve got to be able to defend yourself. What if you are set upon by a gang of orange toughs? I’ve heard this can happen near a navel base.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Show yourself out, please!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I carry a banana for self-defense!

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        …and I thought you were just happy to see me!

      • sw19womble

        Pointed Stick Libels!!!!

      • Doug Langley

        Pfft. One 16 ton weight and you’re history.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Don’t try to buy one on line. The Secret Service is on the lookout for assassins armed with zesters.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Bazookas are available for home purchase, no problem though. Thanks, 2nd Amendment!

    • tehbaddr

      Zester! What are you some kind if ninny?

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Zester? Why, I hardly know ‘er.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          If you think she’s hot, you should see her zester!

    • HazooToo

      Typical. The minute we elect an orange, you start talking about buying a zester Why do you hate America?!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Orange is only skin deep. Then there’s the layer of white bitterness.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      “What if you are set upon by a gang of orange toughs?”

      Release the tiger, obvs.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Chester, what if I want to make more than the one serving you’ve given the recipe for? What if I have a friend come over?

    • Recipes don’t always work right when you double them. You’ll have to tripe it to balance it out.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        That sounds about right!

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Tripe it? Is it a recipe for menudo?

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
    • Juan de Fuca

      Very nice! What type of wood is that?

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        Pine, I believe.

        • Juan de Fuca

          Looks great. Only asked because I have a few pictures that I still need to get around to framing one of these days. Very nicely done. You’ve got skillz! :)

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          Gopher wood floats better.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Hey, that’s a nice thing!

    • Nounverb911

      Good job!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Nice. I recently did a shuffleboard table for a client with inlaid buffalo head nickels for the position markers.

  • Nounverb911

    Trump’s twittering something inane again, I don’t have the energy to post his crap right now….

    • The Wanderer

      Donald’ Fedorovich needs to STFU. He’s the most useful Useful Idiot the Russians have had since Klaus Fuchs.

    • Panika MCD

      did you see the part where he threatened to UN as if POTUS just gets to push them around whenever he wants?

      • The Wanderer

        Probably threaten to foreclose on their mortgage.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          They do have a prime piece of Manhattan real estate, thanks to that commie Rockefeller IIRC.

      • Nounverb911

        I saw the bit where Nuttyahoo is getting all denouncy about the hand that feeds him…
        https://twitter.com/NoahPollak/status/812399019485958144

        • Panika MCD

          the Grande Detour about 5 hrs ago:

          “As to the U.N., things will be different after Jan. 20th.”

          keep telling yrself that Donny!

    • RobKanC

      ugh.. so basically gloating that his buddy buddy Putin put down the democrats.. Nice..Signs of ominous times to come.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        No wonder Trump didn’t release his medical records. A thorough exam would have found Putin’s hand up his ass.

  • aktlib101

    Hmm, let’s see if I can spoil your holiday Bacchus-inspired dream: did you see this September article in JAHA? Seems alcohol is bad for your heart, particularly your left atrium….sooo…ok, i’ll make myself scarce
    http://jaha.ahajournals.org/content/5/9/e004060
    http://newsroom.heart.org/news/drinking-alcohol-daily-may-enlarge-heart-chamber;-lead-to-atrial-fibrillation

  • Ryan Denniston

    What if they hold an inauguration and it doesn’t make a sound? Did it really happen?

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/23/arts/rockettes-wont-be-forced-to-play-trump-inauguration-company-says.html

    • aktlib101

      I personally favor a Karaoke-style inauguration: Dear Leader sings and everyone else in attendance rocks gently to the beat….will one-up Putin and his tiger-taming for sure. Best inauguration evah !

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Just fill it up with Trumpkins firing guns into the air and getting blackout drunk (their favorite kind of drunk).

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      What if people flood the streets in manhattan so the yam can’t get to the airport before the inaugural ?

    • Panika MCD

      maybe Chief Justice Roberts will find a way to keep forgetting how the oath goes…it’s been known to happen!

      • Jamoche

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bY0fdgpISc
        Keep stalling! Somebody might just have a holocaust cloak!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Trump would just as soon dispense with that “preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution” part right from the start.

  • Nounverb911

    Fake Prince Chuckles describes his gift list….
    https://twitter.com/Charles_HRH/status/812392338932830209

  • tehbaddr

    I’m nor saying that said Holiday Rum Punch would benefit from the addition of fresh clam liquor. But, if the Punch is boozy and/or acidic enough, with the addition of some high quality shellfish, it could be used as the base for some Holiday Rum Punch Ceviche.

    • Suttree

      Now I feel like shit, just prepping some beef. Can I come to your house for the war on x-mas?

      • tehbaddr

        Don’t feel so bad, I’m going with roast chicken, Aussie rib-eye, and thawed Jumbo Shrimp, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberry re-hydrate, and teeny little pies. All very last minute as the grocer will be closing around the time I get out of work tomorrow, just made my run.

        • Suttree

          Sounds tasty! My family is on the phone right now trying to get me to go to mass tomorrow. How is “I am an atheist” not understood?

          • tehbaddr

            Midnight mass! Suggest they come by your place, party, then watch the Pope knock on the door. It’s what I used to do with my recovering catholic girlfriend.

          • Suttree

            I just yelled at two people on the phone that “I am not going to mass!!!!1111!!!!”. And then we all laughed.

          • The Wanderer

            I go to Mass on my birthday, although I’m not Catholic. When communion get started, I stand up and leave while saying “Hic est non mensa mea,” or “This is not my table.”

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      That sounds disgusting. Not Kosher. And you’re a MONSTER!

      • tehbaddr

        Seriously, that’s why you shouldn’t do oysters with hard liquor, coagulates in yer gut!

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    So I’ve signed up for lyft but never used it and I think they just keep applying weird discounts to my account. I would like an explanation.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Lyft is a scam. They steal your money and drop you at the wrong address. The drivers are all perverts and carry large weapons. Uber is worse. They just stop, rob you and then kick you in the balls. I read all this on the interweb.

      • msanthropesmr

        Sez the man whose only source of sustenance when in NYC is GrubHub….

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          I do not support illegal entities that don’t follow rules and play both sides of the employee/contractor issue. And…..the cars all stink from old hot dogs and beer.

          • msanthropesmr

            That wasn’t the car, that was you.

            And I’m with you!
            DOWN WITH UBER LYFT

    • Daisy

      I’ve used it a couple times. The first couple times you use it, you get about $2 off your ride. The discount stuff is probably them reminding you that you’re eligible for that.

      • Serai 1

        What about that $50 credit I keep seeing signs for?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I think they are trying to get me to use it but the last time I tried to use it I got lost at the Seattle airport and ended up taking a regular taxi.

    • Panika MCD

      see if Chariot is in your area.

    • Shoto

      Tell them you’d like all of those discounts refunded back to you in cash. See how long it takes for their heads to explode trying to figure that one out.

  • 3FingerPete

    That recipe seems like an awful lot of bother. I’ll just stick with Hi-C and everclear.

    • The Wanderer

      Egg nog with Kahlua Midnight (Kahlua fortified with rum – it’s 60 proof or so).

      • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

        I’ll take the insulin shooter after one of those.

    • Or Tango (vodka and Tang)!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The official drink of the Apollo/Soyuz handshake in space mission!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      You cater a lot of college parties, don’t you?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      I’m going with cheap vodka and Coke Zero in a few.

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Denver residents should be aware of one Vladimir selling ‘Cuban’ rum out of his car trunk. It is actually old Trump vodka with some food coloring and sugar cubes added.

  • Jennifer R

    Cooking naked, the dangers of applied nudism.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Be careful what surfaces you apply your nudism to.

      • Jennifer R

        I am used to others applying the surfaces to me.

    • Panika MCD

      did you ever get your pizza?

      • Jennifer R

        I burned the middle of the bottom of the crust, but the rest was fine. Considering I was drunk and eating the whole thing myself, I am happy that I didn’t eat a third of the crust.

    • Kooolest G

      pro tip, stay away from bacon

      • tehbaddr

        Hard to do, you’re inevitably cooking brekie for somebody in the nude and bacon is involved.

        • Kooolest G

          not saying don’t cook bacon, just saying stay as far away from it as you can

          • tehbaddr

            UNPOSSIBLE! IT’S GOT TO BE TURNED!!11!11!!1!111!!!!!!

      • Jennifer R

        Relevant to my post!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Never fry bacon naked. EVER. You don’t wanna ask.

      • Jennifer R

        This was “Turkey Ham”

  • Serai 1

    I’ve been ameliorating my existential dread the last few weeks by slowly binging my way through Fresh Prince of Bel Air. It’s been a great help, surprisingly. All that brightly colored ridiculous 80’s yaya really lifts my spirits. So here’s a little something to spread the silly around: Carlton dancing badly in a hideous Christmas sweater!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a996cb97a514044bc27c3a193abdf50dfcc09366e9f704ca975430df7431540.gif

    You’re welcome.

    • The Wanderer

      That shall infect my dreams tonight. Still, even with the Kringlgenser, it’s a lot better than some of the dreams I have.

    • Jennifer R

      Apparently he pulled his groin more than once doing that dance.

    • TJ Barke

      Everybody do the Carlton!

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    I’ve just thought of something that made me happy. It’s going to be much harder for Trump to fuck around on his dumb wife. That means he’s stuck boning the same woman for the next 4 to 8 years. Serves that dumb prick right. Hell, he was even screwing around on her when she was pregnant. Suck it, Trump!

  • Shoto

    I’ve been away from the electric internets for awhile. Did Scott Baio get appointed Entertainment Czar while I was gone?

    • Panika MCD

      no, but the Italian Stallion was floated for the National Endowment for the Arts.

      • Kooolest G

        and he said no thanks, hahahaha

        • Shoto

          Yup. Zero A-Listers yet landed…unless things changed today.

  • Panika MCD

    I MAKED A GAME FOR US!

    all cycle we have been subjected to bullshit fake news spewed by all sorts of trolls who like to punctuate their arguments with “FACT.” as if that makes what they’re saying true. now that we are in a “post-fact era”, let’s come up with some things that scream to be punctuated “POST FACT.” that’s the only rule. come up with something and put “POST FACT.” at the end.

    [EDIT:] feel free to add rules. including adjustments that include imbibing of spirits.

    • Panika MCD

      President Trump is the worst Kafka book ever written. POST FACT.

      • That one seems pretty FACT-y. There’s supposedly a mystery briefcase of Kafka works running around

        • Panika MCD

          there’s always a mystery briefcase. POST FACT.

          • *doffs imaginary hat in your direction*

          • theCryptofishist

            It’s just a proto-type of the Luggage. POST FACT.

          • Panika MCD

            Louis Vuitton holds the patent. POST FACT.

      • tehbaddr

        The Donald, Jr, and the wraith looking one whatever his name is, all take turns on Ivanka! POST FACT!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Turning into a cockroach would be an improvement in his case.

        • Panika MCD

          meh, he strikes me as more of a Palmetto Bug.

          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            Regulan Bloodworm.

          • The Witch of Endor

            Denebian Slime Devil

      • theCryptofishist

        It sounded better in the original german. POST FACT.

        • Panika MCD

          also too better in the original Germany. THIRD REICH FACT.

    • Brian

      Eric Trump’s children’s charity smuggled illegal minors to work as caddies at Trump golf courses. “POST FACT”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Trump strikes deal for Russian buyout of US. “I didn’t get a good price,” said Trump, “but I got a bigly commission!” “POST FACT.”

    • Panika MCD

      Gov. Pat McCrory’s favorite number is 2 which explains a lot about his obsession regarding boom booms. POST FACT.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Trump offers ambassadorships to former members of Lynyrd Skynyrd as payment for playing at the inauguration ball. Band answers via Twitter, “Over our dead bodies”. POST FACT.

    • Panika MCD

      bloggers at All Trite sued Richard Spencer for copyright infringement and won $100 million. POST FACT.

    • TJ Barke

      Trump is gonna make america great again! POST FACT!

  • Via the twitter machine, Carrie Fisher is doing better, according to her brother. That’s something to cling to.

    • Courser

      Yes please.

  • Shan

    Last weekend we had subzero temperatures for so long I had pipes freeze and break at at home. Yes, it was my fault but it was STILL fucking THAT COLD. Which is my point. This weekend, we’re expecting temperatures about 60F and storms so bad that the company next door to mine who (among other things) services the civil defense sirens got sent out to re-up them because of NOAA alerts.

    Kansas. Where climate change is going to give us a blizzardnado soon and frakking is already giving us earthquakes.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Thank goodness the state government is standing by to lend a hand. :-(

    • Daisy

      I hate it when people try to use my hometown as evidence of fracking not causing earthquakes. We live in earthquake territory. We are NOT an ideal example of geologic conditions, at least not in a before/after study.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Basically the same thing is happening here in Illinois.

      Midwest is just bizarre these days.

    • Panika MCD

      there’s nothing wrong with Kansas. it’s everyone else who’s fucked up. POST FACT.

    • Scrofula

      No, no, Kansas earthquakes are Jesus’ frissons of delight, the storms His steamy breath, and icy shivers as He gazes upon his favorite state bankrupting itself and screwing over it’s women. For the Lord hates ‘bortion! and taxing the wealthy to fund basic civil services.

      • Shan

        You’re so good at this! Why didn’t I see your name on the last ballot?

        • Scrofula

          It’s better to watch Jesus’ love from another state. Any other state.

          (Actually, when I was in grad school I worked on meiotic recombination, and there’s a famous professor who moved from my Univ. of CA school to a U in Kansas. It was a prestigious lab, and a big deal if I could post doc there, but, you know, Kansas. Strange.)

          • Shan

            Kansas hasn’t always been strange.

  • Nounverb911

    Out of the mouths of babes Olbermanns:

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/812456732408606720

    • Daisy

      Shut up, you didn’t even lose the Iowa primary with dignity.

      • It’s the dignity part that keeps fucking him up

        • Panika MCD

          people who cheat don’t lose, they win big league which is the equivalent of dignity. POST FACT.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “My opponents lost with dignity. After I had them shot.”
        — Vladimir Putin

      • Serai 1

        Hasn’t lost the popular vote with dignity either. Talk about a WHINY LITTLE BITCH.

    • The Wanderer

      The Useful Idiot didn’t achieve the mandate of heaven by winning the popular vote along with the EC. He remains a parvenu wanker.

    • Juan de Fuca

      “Sir, after evaluating the changes and modifications needed to turn our F-18 into an F-35, we can can probably build an entirely new aircraft similar to the F-35 at roughly the same cost.”

      “But will you name it, F-18 Super Hornet?”

      “The F-18 is a different aircraft, sir. We’d be basically building an F-35…”

      “How about naming it the F-18 Really Super Hornet?”

      “We could do that, I guess…”

      “Build it!”

      https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/812061677160202240

      • msanthropesmr

        Why can’t they just use a lear jet? That doesn’t cost that much, right? And how bout one of those jet sharing services? Can we look into that? Can we lease it?

        • Spurning Beer

          “Call one of our tech big shots from the meeting. Tell them we need a phone app where you can order a jet to do a job for you. We’ll call it Floober.”

      • Panika MCD

        everything sounds better when you put “super” in front of it. even better if you end with an exclamation point. POST FACT.

        • And five exclaimation points does NOT make you insane!!!! POST FACT

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “That POST FACT checks out!”
          — Clark Kent

      • Latverian Diplomat

        These “super” hornets are cheap. They are mostly made in Asia though:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_giant_hornet

        • Panika MCD

          this is a post fact world. shut your mouth! he will give them a big tax cut and they will create jobs…for robots! POST FACT.

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          You could get a knock-off Super-Duper Hornet made in Thailand for pocket change!

        • Juan de Fuca

          Jesus christ! A 3″ wingspan?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Nightmare fuel.

          • TJ Barke

            Jesus Christ can’t save you from those things…

      • TJ Barke

        The super hornet is already a thing…

  • Panika MCD

    canned clams. POST FACT.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      EX POST FACTO!

    • tehbaddr

      Canned Clams is da Fact Jack!

  • Treg Brown

    Fuck you 2016:

    Carrie Fisher suffers ‘massive’ heart attack on flight from London to LAX

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/12/carrie-fisher-suffers-massive-heart-attack-on-flight-from-london-to-lax-tmz/comments/#disqus

    Carrie’s brother Todd Fisher tells the Associated Press that she is “out of emergency” and is in “stable condition” right now. Does this mean that the vicious fuck wart that is 2016 is finally standing down?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1aee00171a838c1dd23fe0f399f2768deb25ce3e8a0b2045af6405ecc584e475.jpg

    • Her brother has tweeted that she is stable now

      • Treg Brown

        Thank you. I’ll add that

    • dshwa

      She survived the Death Star, Vader, the gold bikini in Jabba’s palace, and George Lucas telling her “There’s no underwear in space.” 2016 finally met its match.

  • pussygrabber in chief

    I think later on I’m gonna fire up the Netflix and watch the episode of 30 Rock that Carrie Fisher appeared in.

    ETA: Also too, it’s time for my annual viewing of WW episode “In Excelsis Deo”.

    • ghastly_fop

      It’s the ’90’s!

  • Jamoche

    That’s how to do it!
    http://www.grubstreet.com/2016/12/how-vanity-fair-protected-its-trump-grill-reviewer.html
    How Vanity Fair Protected Its Trump Grill Reviewer From Online Attacks

    In a set of actions that other media outlets would be wise to study, the Vanity Fair public relations team quickly contacted [restaurant reviewer] Nguyen. “They kept an eye out for anyone who tried to release my address or my phone number or even tried to call me through the Condé [Nast] switchboard,” she says. “They were on top of their game, so big credit to them.”

    • msanthropesmr

      Yeah, but they couldn’t protect them from the food or ambience… :(

      • Jamoche

        In war you have to make all kinds of sacrifices to make your attacks effective.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    OT: So y’all know I live in a city that’s 85%+ latino? So I went to get the TX mom christmas gifts, went to Best Buy – yup, about 85% latinos there. Then I go to get just like a little treat from Whole Foods, cause she loves that place. INStANTLY the ratio reversed – I swear swear to dog it was 85%+ anglo in there.

    Well, I thought it was funny.

    • Panika MCD

      there’s no such thing as Latinos or Whole Foods. POST FACT.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        what is this post fact business, I’ve been gone for 2 hours fighting traffic and lines (oh god the lines!).

        • Panika MCD

          I just started it. go down about 10 posts.

          • Panika is stealing credit from KAC. POST FACT

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            Ha! I see it now…hilarious.

          • Panika MCD

            more seriously: you know better than to mix up Latinos and Tejanos.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            Eh, I use the generic to prevent confusion, accusations of racism.

            I consider myself a Tejano, true story we were doing a gig in mexico – this guy on the street starts yelling at us in spanish. I asked a spanish speaker what he was yelling about – my friend said the guy was cursing at us (white and latino) for being tejanos. In other words, latino on one side of the border is apparently different than 15 miles away on the other side.
            I knew a girl in college, she told me if her mother found out she was dating a chicano (my buddy from Brownsville), her mother would shit a brick.

          • Panika MCD

            I should also mention that Whole Foods sucks corporate balls. they tried to put a Borders in right next to People’s Books and Waterloo Records. but I’ll forgive you because you don’t have a Wheatsville.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            Lol, I never go to the place, this makes like maybe the 7th time I’ve been in one.
            Are you doing about that one down on Lamar (the original? Whole Foods).
            People’s books was cool – but that was like 20 years ago. About, I dunno 10 years I was over that way and the stores next to the whole foods were like fucking banana republic and shit. It was bizarre.

          • Panika MCD

            it wasn’t the original, but it is the HQ. People’s Books is still cool.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            I adopted my dear departed Bella kitty during a drive right outside People’s books in 2000 or 2001.
            We used to waste a lot of time there in college.

          • Panika MCD

            no time at People’s is a waste!

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          New game down thread a bit. POST FACT

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Lines were insane at 2:30 today, and all I needed was groceries because there is no way in hell I’m going shopping on Christmas Eve. That’s like walking into a lion enclosure wearing a meat suit.

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          I did some last-minute grocery shopping today, and the biggest issues I had were parking and reaching around people for stuff I wanted because they were blocking the aisles and talking on their phones with significant others about what to buy. I got through checkout in relatively fast time.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            Ugh, since teh whole foods I was going to above is only on one side of town, I went over there. Exited off the freeway, then went into the turn in lane to get to the Bed-Bath-Beyond, Target, Marshalls, Best Buy park – I was in line to make that left for at least 10 minutes, maybe more. It’s maybe 100 yards. Then once you make teh left you have to pass BBB, Target, Marshalls, Office Depot, etc etc to get to Best Buy at the end – all while people are streaming out of the stores and crossing the street. It was infuriating.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Latinos too sensible to pay those prices?

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        Must be man…that’s kinda the point of what i got for mom, just like a silly dessert splurge thing you’d normally not buy for yourself, ya know? (I don’t have a ton of money).

        I haven’t been in a Whole foods in 10 years, those prices were NUTS! (Also too, you should ahve seen the prices for nuts…kidding!)

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Corn tortillas — gluten free for less!

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            OMG dude, EVERYTHING was gluten free…EVERY. THING.

          • So…joyless?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            It’s actually great for the people who really need gluten free. Which is a tiny fraction of the people buying that stuff.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            aye, agreed. I remember reading online somewhere that companies are bragging about items being gluten free…when they never had any gluten in them to begin with. Let’s say, cod, for example. Now gluten-free! (I don’t know if cod has gluten, I still barely understand what it is).

          • Latverian Diplomat

            I have seen intelligent, educated people hop on the gluten free train for what amounts to an elevated form of hypochondria. I can’t explain it.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            Ever seen the gluten-free episode of South Park? Those dudes have some weird ideas sometimes, but that’s one funny.

          • jowgajen

            Gluten is a protein in wheat and some other wheat relatives.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            That’s one problem. Another is that a lot of products are marketed as gluten free when they aren’t. At least to the degree necessary for those who really need it. My son has a pretty serious case of Crohns disease (he’s 6’1″ and 130 lbs). He can’t eat any gluten free product that contains potato starch or white rice flour. That cuts out about half of the GF products even at Whole Foods.

          • Scrofula

            It’s a healthy protein found in WHEAT that is necessary for bread to hold together. It is the protein that allowed ancient Mesopotamians to create fucking civilization, since competing societies had protein-poor crops (like corn).
            (Yes, eventually corn and rice civilizations developed, but not as early as in the mideast).
            A tiny fraction of people have a sensitivity to it; but for them it’s dramatic (their instestines litterally hemorage), none of the whiny “Oh, my aura is mauve, it must be the imaginary gluten in my Kambucha.”
            /rant over (I lived near Berkeley for many years)

          • Scrofula

            Joke being corn tortillas never had gluten.

          • jowgajen

            They label stuff that does not have gluten on the first place as gluten free. Get your gluten free bananas, your gluten free seaweed snacks, your gluten free almonds right here.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            Ha! I was just mentioning this down a few posts. It’s crazy…

          • Panika MCD

            everything is gluten free because gluten doesn’t exist. POST FACT.

        • jowgajen

          The one in Westwood has Bubbies mochi ice cream flown in from Honolulu. That is literally the only thing I will walk into a whole foods to buy.

      • Scrofula

        Exactly. Esp. when you need, say, a lot of cumin or whole oregano.
        Guero market: 1oz in a pretty bottle, $5.99
        Mercado: half-pound scoop yourself, $1.99

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Hubbie used to rave about the Whole Foods in Chucktown. When they opened here in Columbia, someone got us a $50.00 gift certificate. Times were tough, and he wasn’t in a mood to splurge. A couple of months later, I kinda insisted that we go – I wanted to see what the hype was about. We went, and he bitched the entire time we were there. Wouldn’t even let me take time to look at what they had, just complained about the prices. I managed to grab a hunk of some good cheese. He gave the gift card away with about $40.00 left on it.

      So,I hear they have some good stuff. Any truth to that?

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        Pink, I am literally the worst person here to ask about that. I don’t cook – I love love love fast food and mexican food joints. AND I like my steaks well done – so my palate precludes me from answering your question.
        (Plus, I never shop there, I just popped in for something for someone else).
        Some other commentators might know.

      • Serai 1



        You married this guy?

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Eh. The negatives are outweighed by the positives.

    • Scrofula

      Was the treat $7.00 asparagus water?
      My town has a huge Latino and Laosian (technically Hmong) population
      And going into “Asia Supermarket” is always an adventure. Cuts and species of meat you didn’t know existed. Sheep eyes, on sale! Cow uterus, 30% off! (Those are real, not exag.). Plus I reg. try to get Thai curry stock, but the instructions are impossible. So even soup is an adventure.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        nah, I some kinda fancy cake. Or rather a slice…or rather a “slice” – stingy expensive bastards whole foods is.

        • Scrofula

          Yeah, I’d get the ex some fancy cocoa bar made from beans a civet shat out or whatever, when I wanted to distract her from the 22oz double IPA I bought. (It’s just one beer honey, yeah 10% alcohol, and you already smell the hot gin on my breath from the flask under the car seat, but look, chocolate!)

        • theCryptofishist

          What gets me is that people call it Whole Paycheck deservedly, and the owner was putting people on less than full time to avoid paying for Obamacare.
          Asshole.

      • theCryptofishist

        I’m a little scared of 99 Ranch–which is sad, because it’s less than a mile away.

        Oh well, I can always blame it on agoraphobia.

        • Scrofula

          Being white I really stick out in there (the ones in town, no 99 Ranch here), even for Fresno. You definitely need to be in an adventurous mood. Agoraphobics would need some extra Klonopin I think.

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

    As a Trinidadian, I say this is wrong wrong wrong.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Do Trinidadians say everything three times?

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        When you make rum punch with grapefruit, yes, yes, yes.

        • The Witch of Endor

          I figured they were what the extra sugar was for.

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          Who’s your Trinidaddy?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            When’s the last time you Ciudaddy?

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            That’s a new one.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            I try.

    • Panika MCD

      Tobago is the superior island. POST FACT.

      • Trinida & Tobago’s Canadian Embassy is suspiciously quiet. ACTUAL FACT (Really, i lived across the street for a year)

        • Latverian Diplomat

          That’s one way to save on a trip to Caribbean territory.

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        It is. A lot of natural beauty. Part of the “twin” island republic. Have you been there?

        • Panika MCD

          it’s a POST FACT. it doesn’t have to be true. (aka I was joking.)

  • BigBoppa pour la résistance

    Brad has been lurking at Blightbart trying to decide if he likes them better than us. POST FACT.

    • Ramsey Bolton is based on Brad. POST FACT

      • TJ Barke

        Jon Snow is based on ME! POST FACT!

        • Scrofula

          You know nothing. Post Fact.

  • Panika MCD

    “Alt-right” was what Richard Spencer called his D&D group so his mom didn’t know that he was playing “that devil game” when he was 15. POST FACT.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So Putin thinks the Democrats are whiners who just need to get over it, eh?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d512a4b10282ee9eb6eb51dcf158cca16133ad0751cf6dd7c8050ce3c3def37.png

    • Panika MCD

      can I get something post fact?

    • Jamoche

      I can’t Keep Calm. My t-shirt says Stay Angry.

    • Juan de Fuca
      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        He parked right on the white house lawn so he can play with it come january.

      • Panika MCD

        how I wish this were true. but something tells me Poots doesn’t need to use Aegean tactics.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Did Trump just spell his own son’s name wrong?

        • Juan de Fuca

          No, I did. lol

          I told ya’ll that I suck at spelling! *hangs head in shame*

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Ah.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Either spelling is correct. POST FACT.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            Speeling is for losers. TRUMP FACT.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s B-A-N-N-O-N.

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          Poor Boron.

          • yyyaz

            Is ARCO still putting that in their gas?

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            No. Caviar.

        • Spurning Beer

          No, it’s spelled like it sounds. P-U-T-I-N.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s his daddy. POST FACT.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Whee – no work until 1/3! It’s Christmas-type time!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7wvQieS24U

    • Panika MCD
      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Linus was Josh Duggar’s roommate at Jeebus Camp. He got caught fondling Lucy’s van Pelt. POST, POST FACT.

        • Panika MCD

          Peppermint Patty smells like vanilla. POST FACT.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            The little red haired girl’s rug does not match the drapes. POST FACT.

          • Panika MCD

            WOODSTOCK KEPT THE BAND TOGETHER AND IS SICK OF YOUR SHIT. POST. FACT.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            No, that’s a fact fact. There is an interview with Woodstock in Rolling Stone, where he said this exact thing. Google it.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            Isn’t that the same article where he says Schroeder was a pain to work with and called him a “fucking prima Donna”?

          • Résistance Land Shark

            Frieda doesn’t have naturally curly hair. POST FACT.

  • Jamoche

    AMC is running a Thin Man marathon. Drinky movie time!

    • Jennifer R

      Phantasm?

      • Jamoche

        ?
        1930s, Nick and Nora Charles. Crime and cocktails.

        • Jennifer R

          Ok then, not the same thing. Phantasm is a series of 80s cheesy horror films where the antagonist is a fellow called The Tall Man.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            Is he related to the Slender Man?

          • Jennifer R

            Slenderman has better production values than the first movie. This is the sort of cheese that starts off written by, directed by, and staring all in a line before the names start. The whole thing feels like the first movie came about because they knew a guy who was six and a half feet tall and looked imposing in a suit.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Thin Man is the victim. They never name movies after the victim anymore…everybody would want Horny Teenagers

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I got to be the villain for once!
      — Jimmy Stewart

    • yyyaz

      It’s on TCM where I live. Huh.

      • Jamoche

        Oops, yeah, you’re right :)

        • yyyaz

          If it’s any consolation, I take no joy in it. As an aside, the year-end tribute on TCM to dead cinema folk is at least twice as long this year than years past. 2016 …

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Hey! I know! Let’s elect a dope president!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Fuck You, Donald Trump” by Chris Kluwe.

    I’d blockquote, but the whole thing is great. My only mild disagreement being that I might give Melania more of a pass given the rumors about domestic violence in that marriage. Everything else, I’m with him!

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      Kluwe was great back a few years ago when somebody was basically telling football players to shut up about gay rights and play ball. He penned an epic takedown for deadspin I think.
      Also, he plays(ed?) WoW.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Deadspin, it was. I read it.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      WOW

    • Shoto

      Chris Kluwe really knows how to sugar-coat things…

    • theCryptofishist

      I wonder if he’s ever heard of Osip Mandelstam.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    So, while the ever so brilliant state leges are working on abortion, legalized bribery, “teh gay” or “teh trans”, tax cuts and all manner of things – they’ve made it harder for some of you to board a damn plane ($$$ says some of these states have very very strict Voter ID laws).

    TSA rule: You won’t be able to board an airplane with driver’s licenses from these nine states

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/12/tsa-rule-in-these-nine-states-you-wont-be-able-to-use-your-drivers-license-to-board-an-airplane/

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Yeah, I saw that.

      Can make potty bills and abortion bans, but can’t get their shit together enough to update their licensing requirements.

      And, look, it’s that state across the river: Missouri! Haha, fuck you, you red voting assholes. Well, not all of them, including the transladies I know and the folks will will suffer when they go right-to-work in January, but everyone else!

    • Anna Rompage

      What? I cannot get on a plane but I can still buy a firearm… WTF!

      • Résistance Land Shark

        ‘MURIKKKA FUCK YEAH!

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Give Congress a couple of sessions and the airlines will be required to hand out guns on domestic flights instead of peanuts.

      • Shoto

        To be fair, if you have a gun, you can just shoot your way onto the plane. Hell, you might even get to sit in first-class with that kind of deal.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Stand your plane!…

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Georgia became compliant just before my last renewal. Thank Dog, because the DMV is a nightmare and now I don’t have to renew again until 2022.

  • Panika MCD

    Pooty-Poots needs extra protection because he sees dead people…including Jesus and Lenin. POST FACT.

  • Michael R

    Don’t drink so much rum punch !
    Not on Christmas ! Not on Christmas !

    https://s30.postimg.org/wtat160pd/christmas_cat.jpg

  • Unpresidented Ron

    Hey, who wants a chance to spend a day with the deplorables?

    “Would you like to be part of history? We need your help!

    “Volunteer opportunities are available for the 58th Presidential Inauguration for President-elect Donald J. Trump and Vice President-elect Michael R. Pence. We welcome you to be part of this historic event as we strive to Make America Great Again.

    Please visit here and fill out the online form to apply by December 31, 2016. Volunteer assignments include both inside and outside positions starting Tuesday, January 17th, 2017 through Saturday, January 21st, 2017.

    “Disclaimer: The 58th Presidential Inaugural Committee cannot provide housing or transportation. Volunteers may be subject to a federal background check.

    “Thank you,

    “Deborah Cox-Roush and Kelli Cook
    Directors of Volunteers
    58th Presidential Inaugural Committee”

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      Trying to get something for nothing – what a shock!

    • Panika MCD

      all the winners will get roses. if you’re a male white supremacist or Tia Tequila, you may go to the “not subject to federal background checks” line. POST FACT.

    • Michael R

      ” If I don’t get more stage time screw it ” – Chachi

    • Résistance Land Shark

      I think that each and every Democrat Senator and Representative should apply.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      OK, who among you good Wonkers is up for it?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE

    • msanthropesmr

      Srs qwestion – wouldn’t they normally have volunteers out the wazoo without asking for them?

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Why yes. Yes they would.

        Trump will probably end up hiring the Hells Angels.

        • Incoming Ham

          Another Altamont would be excellent for ratings.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        You’d think so, wouldn’t you? People ought to be banging down the doors to be part of it.
        Even more to the point… volunteers? This is the social event of social events in Washington. The whole WORLD is watching. And they’re planning on using AMATEURS to help run it. They’re not even getting comped for meals. Twitler and his people really know how to squeeze ten cents out of a nickel, don’t they?

    • pussygrabber in chief

      I bet there’s an application fee.

      • Shoto

        I’ll bet there’s a non-disclosure agreement.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        I was surprised they didn’t ask for 8×10 glossies.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      If they’re having trouble finding anybody, there’s a bike group out in Altamont with experience…

  • Serai 1

    That was NOT funny, 2016! Jesus fucking CHRIST, what the hell is wrong with you?

  • Anna Rompage

    Got my snuggly, vintage gold & blue Green Bay Packers sweatshirt today with elbow patches, grommets in the arm pits, and super happy fleece lining…

    Merry solstice to me!

    • Panika MCD

      that was a couple days ago. you’re thinking of the Fall Equinox.

    • TJ Barke

      GO VIKINGS!

      • Juan de Fuca

        GO VIKINGS!

        That’s it! That’s the joke. ;-)

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Lions applaud this sentiment!…

      • Anna Rompage

        Booo?

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Grommets in My Arm Pits is the title of my autobiography.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Are the grommets for hanging wheels of cheese?

  • Panika MCD

    the Dallas Morning News names Judge Jack on the federal bench in Corpus Christi as “Texan of the Year” for telling CPS to go fuck itself and HHSC also too!

  • MΩebym
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Pinkham’s Law

      He’s wrong. This is entirely normal – in a 3rd world, banana republic dictatorship.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Have I been the only one to think him being the new Caligula would actually be a GOOD outcome? Because I’m starting to think he’s Nero.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          This time, it would be accurate to blame the fire on the Christians.

        • Panika MCD

          has to be someone open to manipulation. if you add raspberries, you can make a good rasPutin.

        • dshwa

          Nero would be an improvement over Trump.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            At least Nero kept the Christians in line.

          • Shoto

            And Nero could play the fiddle too, also.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            Emperor Cheeto fiddles with Ivanka.

          • theCryptofishist

            I guess Obama must have given him the time machine.
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiddle#History

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Horse to replace McConnell as Senate majority leader. POST FACT.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            We’ll be better off. JUST PLAIN FACT.

          • dshwa

            A whole horse is preferable to a horse’s ass. That’s just science.

        • Jennifer R

          Nero spent half his fortune to rebuild Rome.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            He also tried to start a genocide against Christians, made people listen (and praise) his awful musical performances, and there is talk he started the fire himself. So.

          • Jennifer R

            Still puts him a nose over deadbeat donnie. When was the last time he paid for anything, his fault or not?

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            That was so true and funny I had to wipe a tear from laughter away.

          • theCryptofishist

            Because 2000 year old rumor is such a solid news source.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            You go with the sources you have.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            in his image…

        • janecita

          Caligula was way worst than Nero.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            But he did make the trains run on time. POST FACT.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            If he’s Caligula he’ll die sooner (and also that is severely debatable).

          • janecita

            In all truth, all that we think we know about both men might not even be true. The historical sources are highly unreliable, and in Nero’s case, all of the surviving stories were written 50-150 years after his death.

          • Doug Langley

            Anyone who likes horses can’t be all bad.

          • theCryptofishist

            Probably speaks German, also, too.

          • janecita

            That horse was a great consul!

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Debatable… and he loved horses, wanted them in the Senate, and everything….and he was so loving toward the Senators wives….

          • janecita

            Can we agree that Elagabalus, was even worst than either one of them?

      • Incoming Ham

        Can we have Bacchus? If we can have Bacchus to hang out with then the rest will be a merciful haze.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Bacchanalia for all?

          • Incoming Ham

            Four years worth. Just. Stay. Drunk.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Works for me!

        • Doug Langley

          He should definitely take the Asterix approach with his cabinet. “You, a think tank? All you think of is tanking up!”

          • Incoming Ham

            Asterix isn’t IN his cabinet?

          • Doug Langley

            Of course not. Way too smart. But I’m sure Obelix was given an offer.

          • Incoming Ham

            Felix Platypus definitely was.*

            *I just realized you could map each character in the Asterix universe to a member of Trump administration.

    • Panika MCD

      POST FACTS at 11! K-Conn on standby!

    • Shan

      What the fuck? The “women’s rights advocates” thing is a new one. For real?

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        I read about it a day or two ago. The anti terror one is new to me.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Is this satire or fake news?

      • pussygrabber in chief

        Yes.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Is it supposed to be funny, or mean?

          • dshwa

            The “yes” is a site in joke to a question like yours.

          • theCryptofishist

            Which you obviously stole from my family.

          • pussygrabber in chief

            Absolutely.

      • Nounverb911

        Fake presidency.

    • theCryptofishist

      Thank you cards?

  • BigBoppa pour la résistance

    Is it just me or are the words POST FACT starting to look really weird after reading them a couple dozen times?

    • Anna Rompage

      They look about as odd as our soon to come nuclear winter…

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Wish I had a Snuggly for that.

    • Panika MCD

      who are you going to believe: the K-Conn or your lyin’ eyes? POST FACT.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I’m not sure. What does it mean?

    • dshwa

      Reading a POST FACT too many times will make you confused and blind. POST FACT.

    • Doug Langley

      It makes me start thinking of bad hotels built in old post offices.

  • Anna Rompage

    Fiddler on the roof, meets dick dale, meets Fidel Castro… and it’s bloody brilliant!

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W821n_CLp0U

    • msanthropesmr

      My favorite John Zorn is a piece he did on the “That’s The Way I feel Now” tribute to Thelonius Monk – He does Shuffle Boil on game calls.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I don’t get it.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      This is lovely…

  • Panika MCD

    who needs dignity when they can have POST FACTs?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Isn’t this a non-sequitur?

      • Panika MCD

        did you take a drink before replying?

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Right after I put on my pants.

          • Panika MCD

            a) pants free zone!

            b) I thought we were playing the question game.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Are those “things” around here? This place is so hard to figure out!

          • Panika MCD

            are you THE BRAD?

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I’m pretty sure it’s a common name, so I’m probably not the only one.

          • Panika MCD

            okay, so whether or not you are THE BRAD referenced in this post, you should read it:

            http://wonkette.com/609364/what-is-this-thing-called-wonket-is-it-mean-funny-fake-or-just-different-a-guide-for-brad

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Do I really have to read it? That’s a lot of words. Can you summarize it for me?

          • Panika MCD

            you don’t have to read it, but there was a Brad who sent the Editrix a note regarding his (or her) confusion about the site and Dok decided to answer it. it’ll clear up some, though not all, of your confusion symptoms.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Shh…don’t scare him. It might be the real Brad. Brad! Brad! We bow down to your ignorance!…

          • Panika MCD

            pssst. I know. I already asked. he (or she) said it was a common name! and TX changed it’s name and everything.

          • Panika MCD

            psst. it’s not THE BRAD.

          • theCryptofishist

            How about THE GROMMET?

          • Panika MCD

            I’m still onto you, though.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            No pants zone!..

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Pinkham’s Law

      That seems mean.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        To the other denizens of hell? Perhaps, but funny nevertheless.

        And does this mean you’ll be joining us now, Brad? Welcome!

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Wait one second!! I though Brad was like Santa, in that he lives in our hearts and fucks everything up if he clogs up the chimney or the not open thread. I may be wrong, and I’m ok with that too also.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Y’all are far too credulous. Nobody even moused over his avatar, let alone checked his posting history? LMFAO!

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I actually did, because I was suspicious the icons were the same.

          • dshwa

            I admit it fooled me for a bit.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Trust, I was being tongue in cheek. I’m familiar with Brad.

      • Shan

        good

      • pussygrabber in chief

        Meh. It could be meaner.

      • Panika MCD

        I’m onto you. good play.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I wondered how long it would take.

          • Panika MCD

            damn. I was trying to let you know without telling too much. I wanted to watch it play out some more.

      • Doug Langley

        Yep, it sure does.

    • Rick Hill

      Anyone else picture trump sitting alone, glowering at a point on the wall, thinking “Soon. You’ll all do what I say and none of you will be laughing…..”

      • dshwa

        I always picture him as an incompetent Wilson Fisk with a Twitter account

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        Hopefully the fact that some portion of us ALWAYS will be laughing at him will needle him forever.

        • HellhathnofuryDemme

          And that NYC society will NEVER accept him, president or not.

      • yyyaz

        I can’t imagine him being able to be alone long enough to take a piss unless there is a mirror at eye level.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Cal, did you see this article on The Hill (California Becomes Heart of the Trump Resistance)? I don’t exactly consider Pelosi and Feinstein to be “progressives,” but I guess in today’s world they qualify as being downright radical. In any case, congrats for living in the center of the anti-Trump universe. Keep on keepin on.
      http://thehill.com/latino/311580-california-becomes-heart-of-anti-trump-resistance

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Oooh, I’ll check this out in about 90 minutes, after I have a go at the last of my work, drive home and walk my dogs. REALLY looking forward to that last part as it will be raining then and they hate going out in the rain. But thanks for giving me something to look forward to!

        • HellhathnofuryDemme

          My CA dogs also hate the rain, but my late, beloved Roxy was a Jersey girl.
          She would stand in the sprinklers as if to say: “Whatever, California wimp-boys.”

          Btw: Kamala looks like she might be a butt-kicker.
          We’ll see.

  • Nounverb911
    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      I love how that bit about Obama and Israel is literally 2 kinds of wrong – BIG WRONG….forestalling settlements is NOT HTE SAME THING as condemning the whole jewish state.
      Lying fuckers.

    • Jukesgrrl

      As a fellow friend of Bill Wilson, I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for Fisher and her travails. I’m sorry to hear this and I wish her the best. I saw her daughter, Billie Lourd, interviewed on TV recently and she was quite charming, telling funny stories about her grandmother Debbie Reynolds.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I thought she looked a little digital in Rogue One, but I dismissed it. Guess I shoulda paid more attention. Glad she’s stable…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Nounverb911

      I always pictured him as morally, fiscally and folically bankrupt.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Is that grape koolaid, or orange koolaid?…

      • dshwa

        AOT, K(oolaid)

      • Panika MCD

        there is only Trump koolaid and Putin koolaid. POST FACT.

    • dshwa

      65% of them think the world is 6000 years old, so I’d call their judgement suspect at best.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “He hates all the right people.”
      — A follower of the “Love thy neighbor” doctrine

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Are these the folks whose God, as Josh Lyman so lovingly put it, should be indicted for tax fraud?

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      If you don’t believe Trump has a strong moral character, just ask the three wives he cheated on. Melania doesn’t seem too upset that he tried to bang someone else while she was pregnant, I guess she’s a cuck.

      • theCryptofishist

        She looks like she’s in a permanent haze. But maybe that’s the plastic surgery.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I guess she’s desperately grateful.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      This has to be fake news, right? It’s so hard to tell.

    • shivaskeeper

      He makes the right noises about abortion. Therefore he has moral character. The fact that he is about as diametrically opposed to the Jesus they claim to worship as it’s possible to be; as described in the Bible they claim is infallible and inerrant is a minor detail not worth discussing.

    • eggsacklywright

      Nothing says moral character like pussygrabbing.

    • MΩebym
    • Dazza

      Hah. So all that ‘evangelical Christianity’ was code for racism and misogyny? Colour me amazed. /s

  • Nounverb911
    • Panika MCD

      NIXON LIBELS!

      at least the paranoid fucker believed that we all deserved clean air and water.

      • Nixon was a teddy bear. POST FACT. (Are we doing POST FACT on the tweeter?)

        • Panika MCD

          Tweeters is a myth. POST FACT. go ahead.

    • MΩebym

      Santa must have bones of titanium.

  • Résistance Land Shark
  • Vagenda and Tiara

    This makes me sick to my stomach:
    “This notion — that Donald Trump does not share Paul Ryan’s ideology — was indispensable to the former’s victory: Trump simply could not have won without the support of white Democrats who have little affection for GOP orthodoxy…

    Many of these voters were Obama supporters in 2008 and 2012 — in fact, 19 percent of white working-class Trump voters said they approved of Obama’s performance on November 8 of 2016. Ten percent of these voters told exit pollsters that they wanted Trump to continue Obama’s policies, while 38 percent said they hoped he would pursue policies that were “more liberal” than Obama’s.

    Examining Pew data from 2014 on the political attitudes of white non-college-educated Democrats, Cohn found little support for the GOP’s platform on abortion, gay rights, the environment, health care, and Social Security — but a great deal of support for scaling back free trade and limiting immigration…

    But the fact remains: Clinton lost the White House because a bunch of white Democrats who despise most of the GOP agenda — but like the cut of Trump’s jib — decided to cross the aisle.”

    THESE IDIOTS WERE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE THAT ALL TRUMP IS GOING TO DO IS CUT TAXES ON THE RICH, AND CUT BACK MEDICARE. CHRIST, PEOPLE ARE DUMB.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/12/clinton-really-shouldnt-have-distanced-trump-from-the-gop.html

    • dshwa

      “Democracy is the notion that the common man knows what he wants, and deserves to get it good and hard.”
      H. L. Menken

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Well be getting it good and hard all right! My keister has been puckered since November 8th in anticipation of a Dump presidency.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      “CHRIST, PEOPLE ARE DUMB.”

      Yes. Yes they are.

    • Doug Langley

      Trump won because the GOP rigged the election. End story.

      • shivaskeeper

        Stupid people helped.

      • MΩebym

        Exactly. Voter suppression made it close, Comey tipped it.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I think Comey handed Trump the election. I still can’t believe that dick sent that letter 11 days before the election.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yeah, well. Daily Intelligencer spent most of the runup to the election posting multiple emails stories a day, bought in to the Times’ african-american lack of enthusiasm spin for resurgent Jim Crow and their whitewashing of Trump’s soviet ties, and jumped in with a Tomorrow Belongs to Me post about getting all the toxic attention to the not-white innies and those who know not Jesus nor breed out of “progressive” politics within days afterwards. They’ve got a long way to go before they’re not part of the problem.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I think they were better than most of the media. There were QUITE a few articles that were critical of Trump. Yes, some were also critical of Hillary, but being a NYC media property, they know how loathsome Trump is.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Yeah, but the first ones appeared after the first town hall, when Chait got scared, and most of his issues were covered in a rush after that. Yeah, they know (although most of them aren’t New Yorkers). They had other priorities. And that Levitz kid needs to be dropped into Mount Doom.

    • Serai 1

      Oh, for fuck’s sake, how fucking STUPID do you have to be to believe any of that???

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I’m for gay rights and abortion rights, so I’m going to vote for the guy who picks Mike Pence as his VP!!!!

      • gaybymml96

        It’s ‘Murican Stupid.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I voted for Obama, and I’m glad I did. Now I’ll vote for the guy who will undo everything Obama accomplished. Then I’ll blame the Democrats for what happens next.”
      — An Independent Voter

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I’m banging my head on a table right now, because I just give up.

    • Penny Dreadful

      This…I have a hard time buying it.

      I guess this is where I scream, “FAKE NEWS.”

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Never underestimate the stupidity of the American voter.

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    All I need in a rum recipe is a reference to citrus, because I will substitute everything but rum with whatever juice box is half empty in the fridge…rum is versatile and I’m not cleaning the juicer is what I’m sayin’.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Because why you don’t have half a dozen limes in your refrigerator at any given time is beyond me…

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      On topic comments are déclassé after 7:00pm MST.
      POST FACT.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Since MST is mythical, how are we to know when 7 PM is reached there?

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          When Editrix speaks to you sharply, it’s not time yet.

        • MST is POST FACT time. So all is OK

  • Résistance Land Shark
    • Jamoche

      They were doing that before the election. My grandmother, for one – she’s 93.

  • Jennifer R

    Me:1 Pilot light: 0

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Insurance?
      Duck and run?

    • msanthropesmr

      AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

      AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    • MΩebym

      I don’t have hot water, and a billion things in the house are broken…but I’m not even going to consider hiring a repairman, since I live alone. :/

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Maybe it’s time to find a repairman to live with.

      • Jennifer R

        Neither the two week old hole in the new window nor the non working oven will be touched by maintenance before the new year.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, for fuck’s sake, people who work to make life better for veterans deserve better:

    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/812320477884649472

    • Jennifer R

      Told them so.

      • dshwa

        In fairness, Omarosa might be the smartest person in the Trump circle.

        • Panika MCD

          I’m trying to think of someone you’re libeling…do they have a dog? otherwise, you win.

          • dshwa

            It’s not exactly a high bar….

          • theCryptofishist

            I think a dog might do things to the décor. Life sized stuffed lion may be the smartest person in the Trump circle.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            “Christ, I hope not!”

            – my two dogs

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Didn’t veterans overwhelmingly support Trump?

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Yes. Methinks that in 2 years it’ll be hard to find one who admits to it.

      • shivaskeeper

        Yes. A lot of vets have bought into the fiction that GOPers are better for the military and more patriotic.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        37% were for Johnson, at least until he showed that he had no knowledge of other countries.

    • dshwa

      “But she’s hot! WTF is their problem?”

      -Trump, probably

    • dshwa

      She watched American Sniper in the theater, so she’s qualified under Trump’s criteria for filling positions. Or maybe she hooked up with a Vet once. Either meets his “standards.”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      The ways in which Trump has fucked over vets and vet organizations is already pretty amazing. Those folks live to suffer….and they will….

    • shivaskeeper

      The IAVA tends to pretty vocally anti war. They are the wrong kind of veterans so they are lucky they got her instead of nothing at all.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Hutch

    I didn’t read down, but I don’t think anyone would have recalled this SNL drink. Yum.

    Soiled Kimono

    FLUTE – LEMON TWIST – SHAKE
    1.0 oz Greenhook Plum Gin
    0.5 oz Simple Syrup
    0.5 oz Lemon Juice
    top with inexpensive French Champagne

    Shake gin, simple syrup, and lemon juice in a shaker with house ice and double strain into a champagne flute. Top with bubbles. Garnish with a paper butterfly, or a lemon wheel. Whichever is easier.

    • Jennifer R

      That seems like a lot of effort when I could just drink the gin.

      Actually it sounds like a lot of effort to drink gin, I remember it having a certain taste.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    So, where did I leave off? Oh, yes! Bowie. How could I possibly forget?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRD0ghlFSgk

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Our Republic is undergoing some right now.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl3vxEudif8

  • Pinkham’s Law

    All the nightmares came today
    And it looks like they’re here to stay:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBQ-S6njQQw

  • Pinkham’s Law

    11/8/2016. Look Back In Anger.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEJjASV20kc

  • Serai 1

    This is what I’m listening to tonight.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5tcbD5in7k

    The duduk is one of the most beautiful instruments I know. The artist here is Djivan Gasparyan, whose music I got turned on to by Passion, the album of original source music that Peter Gabriel used to create the soundtrack for The Last Temptation of Christ. Gorgeous music on that album. Highly recommended.

    • Juan de Fuca

      That is gorgeous. Thanks for sharing it.

      • Serai 1

        There are some great artists on that album. It’s where I first heard Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, the greatest Qawaali singer.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KWVPJ3dA-c

        • Juan de Fuca

          I’m Googling it now. I like Loreena McKennitt and it sounds like she uses the duduk in some of her music? Never bothered searching it but sounds familiar.

          • Serai 1

            I think so. Her fusion albums are so rich and textured. Her orchestration of God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen is hands down my favorite recording of a Christmas carol. Incredible.

  • Panika MCD

    PUTIN IS TRUMP’S FATHER. POST. FACT. they just stole the name off a Woodie Guthrie song.

    • Yr. Gma

      Well, I heard that Trump is Putin’s testicle. POST. FACT.

      • Panika MCD

        that is were sperm tends to come from. but the mother was a Venezuelan caterpillar. POST FACT.

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Pinkham’s Law

    We’ll revisit Bowie later. Right now, we’re gonna play Butcher.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tFPQ6E8GtQ

    • Panika MCD

      what was that you were saying about beans in chili the other day?

      • Shan

        We were saying as how it ain’t fucking chili if there ain’t no fucking beans in it.

        • Panika MCD

          a) ICS disagrees: http://www.chilicookoff.com/event/event_Rules.asp

          b) I’m trying something.

          • Shan

            4. Homestyle Chili is defined by the International Chili Society as the cook’s favorite combination of ingredients resulting in a dish seasoned with chili peppers and spices.

          • Panika MCD

            that confused me for a hot minute also too, but it’s not actually a category:

            6. You must be an ACTIVE ICS member to compete in any ICS competition including Traditional Red Chili, Chili Verde and Salsa. You must be at least 18 years old.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            So spiced canned clams qualifies?

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Only if you are A MONSTER!!!!

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I recall saying

            You can stop argumenting once and for all
            now, because the discussion is over today. THIS is how you make chili.
            Now and forever. NO DISCUSSION!

            In a recipe which requires beans. If you disagree, well, you’re allowed to be wrong. If you insist.

          • Panika MCD

            your Snail is fishy.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I have not done escargot yet. And, they tend to be, ironically, salty.

          • Panika MCD

            @@@@@@@@@

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Thou shalt not dis The Lemmy. It’s on one of the Lost Tablets.

        • Panika MCD

          what say you about recipes what require 12 bowls?

          • Pinkham’s Law

            They’re great for an easy weekday meal!

          • Panika MCD

            what do you do with French Onion Soup leftovers?

          • Pinkham’s Law

            In actual fact, I’m giving a quart or so to several people as War On Christmas presents. But it also does freeze well.

          • Yr. Gma

            This sounds like one of those responsive readings in church.

          • Jamoche

            Invite lots of people who share your belief that the cook doesn’t have to clean :)

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    I’m beginning to think Fitzgerald doesn’t think rum is a good thing….

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Can’t imagine why he never earned a Knighthood.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snyjRd93HBs

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Can’t honor Lemmy without this.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBIa0o36pPo

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Nounverb911

    Nitwit Tucker “My Mother Still Dresses Me” Carlson loses battle of wits with witty Lauren Duca from Teen Vogue over why Ivanka smells.

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/812500828594569216

    • Taking off the bowtie has not restored the bloodflow to Tucker’s obviously, oxygen-starved grey matter

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Replying so I remember to check this out when I get home. Can’t wait!

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Why is this fuckboy still a thing after Jon Stewart made him look like a complete jackass?

      Because “conservativers” need a rich white boy to explain things to them or something?

      • Yr. Gma

        Didn’t he make a come back on “Dancing with the Stars”?

    • Apple Scruff

      He probably heard “Teen Vogue” and was all “I got this”. And just like Ivanka, who got told by Cosmo, found out that lady mags are not letting their pussies be grabbed.

    • Apple Scruff

      Also —

      “Carlson concluded the interview by saying, “You should stick to the thigh-high boots. You’re better at that.” Duca started to fire back but Carlson ended the segment.”

      Holy fucking sexism, goddamit. He said that OUT LOUD? I hope Olbermann is right about his being fired.

      • gaybymml96

        Conservatards don’t really care any more. Just ask Bill O’Hummus..

    • Holy fuck. Just when i didn’t think he could be even more incompetent…

  • FDRliberal

    I just clicked Callyson’s link to Chris Kluwe’s treatise entitled “Fuck You, Donald Trump”. Lol, all I can say is “Amen brother Chris!”

    “Fuck you, Donald Trump. Fuck you for being a hypersensitive, grossly plump caricature of a human being; a squirming mass of cockroaches lurking under a skinsuit veneer.

    Fuck your promotions of white supremacists to positions of power, of science denying crackpots to oversee our future, of bootlicking toadies to oversee your transition…

    Fuck you, Melania Trump. Fuck you for taking the easy choice, the choice to suck the dick of a loathsome troll in order to wear Hugo Boss dresses, instead of taking a stand in order to protect the fifty percent of our population who shares your gender.

    Fuck you, Ivanka, Eric, and Donald Trump Jr. Fuck you for being willing lackeys of this pusillanimous ape, for carrying his water on television and in media interviews.

    Fuck you, Republicans who refuse to disown this bloated leech.”

    • Ωbjectifier

      +1 for hugo boss reference.

    • gaybymml96

      *jots down all the excellent insults*

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, everyone, I have to hit the road soon. I am looking SO forward to driving on the freeway in the rain, followed up with walking my dogs in the rain (they HATE the rain.) Back with you good Wonkers in just over an hour!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Care. Full. Lyson….

    • Drive like a canadian!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      which means we’ll be seeing that rain in about 18 hours

    • magyar of infinite power

      What is this “rain” of which you speak?

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        it’s that clear stuff that falls from the sky time to time out our way…

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

    https://youtu.be/ADbJLo4x-tk

    Merry something, Wonks.

    • tehbaddr

      Good old Bing and his Xmas specials. He’d have the kids on, and then beat them for not performing well. Merry Xmas, good times!

  • Serai 1

    Here’s what I consider one of Bowie’s greatest moments…

    https://youtu.be/yWuBgWNMUM8?t=57s

  • Spread the POST FACT word!

    https://twitter.com/LauraSTIFF13/status/812511002013159424

    New tweet picture @request of panika who is awesomest!

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      panika’s famous!

    • Juan de Fuca

      Wait. You expect me to end every statement with “POST FACT” when I still haven’t gotten around to putting a yellow ribbon sticker on my car, 15 years after 9/11?

      • Panika MCD

        only the ones that are post factual. and maybe take a shot when you do.

    • Serai 1

      I’m getting a Twitter page that says that addy is unknown.

      • I editied tweet link at request of fellow wonker. Deleted previous tweet

        • Panika MCD

          yeah, if I ever get a tweeters, it will be @BecauseTXLege and will simply be a list of bill numbers and a minimalist version of how their authors or sponsors justified them. but I’d need a lot of help to do that.

          • Hmmmm….lists.

          • Panika MCD

            well, if it’s just from committees I’m covering, it’s no fun and way too easy to figure it out.

  • Pinkham’s Law
    • shivaskeeper

      Because Lemmy can do anything he wants.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Purple . motherfucking . Rain
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vJMTKtY4U8

  • Vagenda and Tiara
  • WomanInTheResistance

    I just got home after 10 hours of selling cheese. Hi everybody!

    https://youtu.be/0tcfbgQsYtM

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Yay!

    • Serai 1

      Blessed are the cheesemongers!

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Well, we do have a hell of a time.

        Actually, I’m quite lucky. I like my job. Sometimes I do wish there wasn’t quite so much of, though.

        • Serai 1

          You mean cheese? THERE CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH CHEESE.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            You are correct. Cheese is one of the miracles of our world. Yesterday was just very long. Today, however, was really smooth. Even fun. One of the pleasures of my life is finding the right cheese for the right person. And when somebody tries something new and just blossoms with pleasure, well, that’s very satisfying. And I was able to help people find the right ones for them. Frankly, I am in a very contented frame of mind right now.

          • Serai 1

            It is wonderful to know one’s place in life, isn’t it?

    • shivaskeeper

      What sort of cheese?

      • WomanInTheResistance

        The fancy-pants kind. Lately, I’ve been really enjoying Zamarano, Abbaye de belloc (a splendid French sheep’s milk cheese), Soumaintrain, Rogue River Blue, and a very nice bloomy called Brebirousse d’Argental. Plus, of course, my one true love, Taleggio.

        • Serai 1

          No Venezuelan beaver cheese?

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Alas, the FDA put a hold on it, due to improper pasteurization. Bastards.

          • Not for much longer!

          • WomanInTheResistance

            A girl can dream. But seriously, considering the money the large commodity producers put into lobbying, it might get worse. It makes sense for the huge producers to have to pasteurize – when you combine milk from so many herds, it is impossible to be assured of the cleanliness. One bad batch could ruin boatloads of cheese. So they pressure the FDA to require pasteurization for everybody. Even the small farmhouse producers who make cheese from their very own cows, and have a huge vested interest in cleanliness. It’s still possible to get raw milk cheeses that have been aged over 60 days, but there have been rumblings.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            You have to grab the cheese by the beaver.

        • shivaskeeper

          I see. Very good. I even recognized some of them.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            They are very good. I love my job.

    • Ooooo…cheese…

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      Hey dub! It’s a madhouse in here…welcome home.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Good evening, love!

      • WomanInTheResistance

        How are you tonight?

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          I’m good. There should be no need for me to work on Christmas eve, which is quite a departure from the usual. Any last-minute types will need to content themselves with our selection of prebuilt frames, which I made anyway. Jan and Piper can handle it, I’m sure. So I have a 3-day weekend, and get paid for one of them!

          • WomanInTheResistance

            That’s great! I’m very pleased for you!

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Serai 1
  • Vagenda and Tiara

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg6xaFZStEI

    “Tax the rich, feed the poor, till there are no rich no more, I’d love to change the world, but I don’t know what to do.”

    • FauxAntocles

      Well don’t fucking vote Rethuglican, whatever you do.

  • BigBoppa pour la résistance

    I thinking of turning in soon. Tomorrow I have to bake cookies for Xmas day at my daughter’s house.

    It’ll be just me and my best girl tomorrow night so I’m making lobster for her. That’s what we ate on our first real date 46 years ago.

    Happy holiday to all. I hope you can spend time with people you love. But if you can’t, at least love yourself (no, not like that) ((unless that’s what you want)).

    • Pinkham’s Law

      May you have he Merriest of all Holidays!

    • Happy HoHo!

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Have lovely night with your best girl. And a…uh…Happy Holiday.

    • shivaskeeper

      Enjoy the baking. Plus being romantic after 46 years. Awesome.

    • Panika MCD

      you’re making lobster cookies? I want that recipe.

  • FDRliberal

    This song should replace the national anthem for the next four years.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aItpjF5vXc

    • Serai 1

      Holy shit, I remember those guys!

      • FDRliberal

        I saw them play live in NYC years ago. It was comprised of three guys from the Specials. Too bad they didn’t make more than a couple of albums. I loved their sound.

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • shivaskeeper

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SFNW5F8K9Y

    True fact: Prince’s guitar is still orbiting the Earth.

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
  • Pinkham’s Law

    No innuendos here, nosiree!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Lmq6RDn5O8

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Someone mentioned earlier that we should have a massive concert with nothing but A listers perform at the same time as Dump’s lame inaugural. I just thought of the name for it – “Shouldstock” as in “you should have voted for the party that gives a shit about you, you dumb hicks.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW5M5xljdCI

    • WomanInTheResistance

      I’m with you, that’s a great name. Just change the last two words to “dumb fucks”. Because I think it was the frightened, stupid, suburban red-staters who screwed us the most.

  • I watched all of Rachel vs Kellyann. I think my brain done broked

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
    • Suse

      I wonder why they ran it again.

      • I watched on the youtube. I have not the cable

        • Suse

          It was on MSNBC at 5:00 Pacific, which is normally Chris Hayes time. I couldn’t bear to watch again.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Early holiday for everyone and they ran out of lockup episodes?

    • Panika MCD

      K-Conn’s doing adds for Rogaine. POST FACT

    • Juan de Fuca

      Her voice hurts my ears. Everytime she talks, the only thing I hear is Charlie Brown’s teacher, in a smug tone. If it was a winner-take-all contest between the two of them, even Kayne West would vote Kellyanne as the more arrogant person.

  • Suttree

    I just took care of 4 Christmas phone calls. I ain’t in no mood to deal with them tomorrow or the next day.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5vw4ajnWGA