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Morning there, Wonkaderos! We’ve got a big day ahead of us, so here’s just a few of the things we might be covering today!

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  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Someone mail the police at Standing Rock a box of dildos, stat.

  • dslindc

    See Mittens’ face? That’s the look of someone betraying everything they’ve ever stood for.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Not everything. I mean, he was dining on frog’s legs for dinner.

    • Nounverb911

      You mean by signing away his soul to the devil?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You’re assuming he’s ever stood for anything beyond the 1%.

    • coozledad

      One of the things Mittens, and all Republicans stand for, is sucking up to the boss. It’s how they define courage.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Assuming he ever had a principle that over rode his basic greed for power.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Trump and Mittens spend a good amount of time discussing the proposed ban on Mormons.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Jesus, we’ve already given them Utah as a reservation. What more do they want?

  • Nounverb911
    • coozledad

      This is that revolution Susan Sarandon was talking about, isn’t it?

      • puredog

        I am sure she is happily beaming somewhere. Spago, more’n likely.

  • Nounverb911
    • coozledad

      Those Democratic elites sure are going to be pissed when they get thrown out of public housing.

  • Oh… so that’s what the face of a man who’s just sold his soul and his last principles looks like. Thanks, Mitt!

    • cmd

      Frog legs, they ate. And everyone had chocolate cake for dessert.

    • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

      “I sold my soul to Donald Trump and all I got was this lousy job.” — Mittens

  • anwisok
    • Cartoon Euchrid Eucrow

      You had me at red panda.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Squished kitteh is happy kitteh.

  • Nounverb911

    “So Mitt do you really hide your money in Switzerland? Can I have your bankers card?”
    –Doonie j Dump

  • Oblios_Cap

    I guess the protesters will have to take a page out of the Palestinians’ playbook and create an elaborate tunnel system to smuggle in supplies.

    • Nounverb911

      Can’t they just use the pipeline temporarily?

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Baby box turtles? So Mitch McConnell has recently spawned?

  • Mpeg

    Oh.. I thought by “ornate box turtles” you meant something like this: https://emilybooks.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/brideshead-tortoise.png

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Three weeks after the election, Trump finally spoke with UK Prime Minister Theresa May,
    this after meeting nine other heads of state and other far more
    important people than the leader of our allegedly closest ally,
    including UKIP’s Nigel Farage, various celebrities, and cable news
    talking heads.

    This probably explains why Melania and Barron are staying in New York. Just in case Theresa is royally pissed off at him and sends the Redcoats to burn the White House again

    • Pissed de Résistance

      I wouldn’t even give a flying fuck, so long as they wait until February.

    • coozledad

      The first time Washington got burned, it was because escaped slaves helped provide the intelligence and manpower that enabled the British to force the planter trash army to break and run.

      I would like to see a repeat of this soon.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Cincinnati is arguably the most German big city in the U.S.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      And your point is………

    • Msgr_Moment

      You can accuse the Germans of all the war crimes and genocides you want, but Skyline Chili? Those are fighting words!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        It’s the only 3-way I’ve ever had. [*rimshot*]

      • Shan

        Is that the spaghetti with chili and cheese on top?

    • Ezio Auditore

      I guess the Cincinnati Reds are going to change their name to the Cincinnati Oranges?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The farm teams will be called the Tangerines.

        • Pissed de Résistance

          Women’s league? Clementines?

    • ken_kukec

      Home of Hudepohl beer.

      Hudie makes you moody, as the saying goes.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Well, then he will have make his speech in the original German. it sounds better that way, anyhow.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Ich bin ein bran muffin!

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Gotta hand it to Kellogg’s: pulling ads from Breitbart is going to hurt the launch of their new cereal: Special KKK

    • Msgr_Moment

      Battle Creek withdraws from Battery Creep.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      I’m wondering why they were advertising on that website in the first place.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Fake food for phony people. Sounds right to me.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I’m no expert on web advertising, but I think most ad buys are not site specific, and you have to ask for exclusions if you want them.

        • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

          Ah, for some reason I thought there was data that allowed them to target their audience. Never mind.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            There’s some of that, but it’s often based on things like keywords and subject matter, not website. That’s why you see some hilariously wrong-footed conservative ads on left-leaning websites sometimes.

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            So I guess the keyword was #white.

          • Jamoche

            Slacktivist, which is ripping the hell out of the “Left Behind” books, gets a lot of “the end times are coming!” ads.

        • Incoming Ham

          It’s also somewhat random – you can still get similar ads, i.e not the “Nazi Party” but “White Supremacist.” If you use the key word in an article or comment you are doomed.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Kellogg hardly has a shining history. The original Kellogg created cereal because he thought it would stop masturbation. Obviously it didn’t occur to the genius that you only need one hand to hold the spoon.

        • Incoming Ham

          I’ve always found Kellogg to be such a sad figure.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s packed with vitamins and minerals, but no natural or artificial colors.

  • Msgr_Moment

    I never knew that Trump had such long reach!

  • Ezio Auditore

    Oh Mitt. Just a few months ago you were calling Trump dangerous and wanted nothing to do with him. Now you are trying to get him to hire you and hailing him?

    Pity, I was sort of starting to like you.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      You mistook him for a man who placed honor over a price tag.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      So, there’s a bit in Larry Niven’s Ringworld, where a diplomatic team from a alien, warlike race that’s been thoroughly pacified by losing several wars still act like arrogant jerks a lot (they can’t help themselves). But one member of the team, the mangiest, scrawniest, lowest status one, has the important job of going around to everyone they offend and apologizing afterward.

      That will be Mitt as Secretary of State, I think.

      • PubOption

        But don’t apologize to the Muslims!

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          Except the Sauds

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Unless they have oil.

  • monoglot

    So, Trump is starting the “Thank You” tour in Cincinnati. How far down the list of tour cities is Nuremburg?

    –Godwin

    • Nounverb911

      Second?

    • cmd

      If he takes out the “lock her up” part of the program, what will be left? I guess just a bunch of “I am the greatest thing since sliced white bread.”

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        White, bred.

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          White, Man
          Native, Bred
          old KKK password/counter sign chant

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Goldman Sachs is a yooge bank. They train the best Treasury Secretaries there. Just terrific. It takes a gator to drain the swamp. Wait until you see my secret henhouse guarding plan. And the foxes will pay for it.”
        — Donald Trump

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          Not this little red fox.

      • PubOption

        He’s claiming to have saved the jobs that Carrier was going to outsource to Mexico, or some of them at least. Yooouge victory!

        • cmd

          Yeah, I can’t wait to see the fine print details of that one. I suffered through some reporter blabbing on CNN this morning — she supposedly travelled the country talking to Trump supporters before the election and she said they wanted someone who could “make deals” for them and he had done it. Plus, blah blah blah.

      • Tessiee

        That was all he ever had.
        He had no plans and no real ideology, other than “I’m rich, I’m so great, everybody *else* is so inferior, and I’ll punish the ones that you, specifically, don’t like” — hasn’t changed since then, and there’s no reason to think he will.

        • cmd

          He’ll probably start off with a recap of what a great campaign HE ran, like he did with that NY Times meeting. How inspirational.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Watch out for Stalingrad. Tough audience.

  • Nounverb911

    Elaine Chao vows to use the latest technology available for updating transportation.

    http://i.imgur.com/xXbCfFa.gif

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Wasn’t he a confederate in that?

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        In The General. This is another film. Don’t know which one but a different, more modern, engine.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Buster! BBC Sunday morning show “The Golden Silents” hosted by Michael Bentine of The Goons was a staple in our house. Fuck I’m old. I just looked it up and that was 1969/70.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The interview:

    Romney: “When all is said and done, I just want to fuck the poor and middle class over and make money while seeming to be relevant. Of course, I don’t give a shit about the poor and the 47%….you know, ‘those people’! ”

    Trump: “You’re hired.”

    http://api.theweek.com/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/cjones03032016_0.jpg?itok=kpRdgpRJ

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Mitt: “Can I still tie my dog to the roof of the car”.

      Trump: “Please do. I hate pets”.

  • Flashman

    Want to bet that Mitt hates frog legs, and Trump made him eat them just to humiliate him?

    Also, in theory, neither Mitt nor Trump drink. Personally, I would have had to get totally plastered to choke down frog legs with these assholes.

    • “Seriously, Matt, you have to try your steak burnt to a crisp, it’s tremendous, all the best people tell me that.”

    • cmd

      What I read said they had water in their wine glasses. It didn’t say what Reince drank.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Since a Priebus sounds like some sort of electric vehicle, I’m guessing Reince was just plugged in to a nearby wall socket for the duration.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Trump Tower Grill has the best frog legs. I love amphibians. Happy Earth Day!”
      — Donald Trump

    • Kakkeltje

      You know who else did not drink?

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Mr. Goodwin?

  • Ezio Auditore

    Kelloggs not wanting to associate their brand with Breitbart “un-American”? What exactly does Breitbart think is American? Early 20th century European fascism?

    • Randy Riddle

      “What exactly does Breitbart think is American?”

      Post Bran and Prune Flakes?
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QjrVbmqg3g

      • Msgr_Moment

        If Kellogg takes all the Fruit Loops, there will be nobody left to post anything!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      We’re the land of the Free, so it’s important to repeal all civil rights except those dealing with property ownership and guns (for white folks).

      We’re the Home of the Brave, so it’s important to remember how terrifying foreigners, muslims, blacks, latinos, gays, and independent women are.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      The answer is Breitbart. Breitbart thinks Breitbart is American. The white man on the white horse single handedly holding off the dark savages.

    • Thank you, Kelloggs, for supporting the alternate lifestyle of Snap, Crackle, and Pop.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/004fcac60f96005ef1550b36f0e130c57ee3665350a54e76d1861d297a16492d.jpg

      Oh, SNAP!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    North Carolina Republican governor Pat McCrory wants a recount in only one county

    Remember when SCOTUS god Scalia said counting just one county was unfair in Bush v Gore?

    • Nounverb911

      But he’s dead, so that doesn’t count anymore.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      Is he still dead yet? Or is that Fidel?

      • Nounverb911

        Franco.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      They also ruled that Bush v. Gore should not be considered a precedent in any sense, so there’s that.

      Kind of a weird thing to say, unless you have a legal theory based on the rules of Calvinball.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        But Obama gave Sandra Day O’Connor the medal of freedom, so that’s OK.

      • Flashman

        Scalia’s last words reportedly were, fuck stare decisis.

        • coozledad

          Godamn. And here I thought his last words were “oh fucking Christ this hurts so much. I feel like I’m being ripped apart by fucking sharks!”

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            That was when he got where he was going.

    • Msgr_Moment

      I preferred the decision in Scalia vs Life.

      With votes.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Any chance Farage can convince the Red States to USexit? WE might be willing to let them go this time.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Trivia fact: Neither Donnie nor Mittens is wearing pants.

    • Randy Riddle

      But Mittens is wearing kneepads.

    • Flashman

      Mitt is probably sitting on a donut cushion, too, after what he went through before dinner.

  • memzilla (Maquis Uni)

    Friend just posted: “Just walked by Mitt Romney coming out of the Essex house. He was pulling his carry on and talking to some colleagues as they walked down the street.”

    I’m assuming the carry on contained his soul and his former “principles.”

    • cmd

      Doesn’t he have “people” to carry his luggage?

      • Nounverb911

        Nope, just corporations….

        • Flashman

          Those are people, my friend.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Nah. Those are obviously long gone. I’m going to bet it contains a lifetime supply of lube.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Those fit in a cigarette case.

  • coozledad

    A directive was also recently issued by the board telling local election officials to dismiss any challenges to voter’s eligibility filed after Election Day. The memo also told officials to count any votes that were thrown out due to those complaints.

    The decision is troubling, Woodhouse said, and the state should revisit efforts to keep ineligible voters out of the election.

    The state board of elections was largely appointed by Pat McCrory. It’s over, you carpetbagging piece of Ohio trash.

    Woodhouse is a poor man’s Ernest T. Bass. He isn’t fit to lick shit off the bottom of his smarter brother’s shoes, and it gripes his dumb ass to no end.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Disgraced Republican politicians never die. They just bide their time waiting for a new candidate nasty and vindictive enough to realize they were visionaries.

      • Tessiee

        And the sad thing is that this almost always comes to pass.

    • therblig

      i want to see the MacNaughton version of this

  • Crystalclear12

    What drives me crazy about his “transition” team is you can bet HRC had hers picked and pre-vetted.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Did any reporters catch Mitt leaving Trump Tower this morning on his Walk of Shame?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      With his Magic Underwear on backwards.

  • Mpeg

    Civil rights groups have recorded more than 860 incidents of racism and bigotry in the 10 days following the election

    The four states excepted, the article says, were Wyoming, North & South Dakota, and Hawaii. I wonder if Hawaii is hiring, could I get me a jerb there?… In time before Trumps’ Commerce Sec sells Hawaii to the highest bidder?

  • Ezio Auditore

    Is the alt-right EVER happy? It seems their entire existence is based around this victim complex and paranoid idea that everyone is out to destroy them because they are white guys. Your boy won. What are you so angry about?

    What a sad life.

    • Randy Riddle

      “Is the alt-right EVER happy?”

      Well, to be fair, they were smiling after the lynchings.

    • Jamoche

      They won’t be happy until everyone is bowing down and worshiping them. That 2M popular vote margin is annoying the hell out of them.

  • CountryClubRefugee

    That photo looks like the movie poster for The Devil’s Advocate Two.

  • AndyC316

    Looking at the top picture and the only thing I hear is Trump saying, “grab ’em by the pussy” — am I alone in this??

  • btwbfdimho

    Looks like Trump put his small hands in his small pockets until someone else tips the waiter.

    • Nounverb911

      Trump owns the hotel the restaurant was in, so no tips….

    • Ezio Auditore

      They both think that the waiter should “stop complaining and pull himself up by the bootstraps”.

      • Rick Hill

        Work ten jobs like trump did to make all his money! Wait….

  • Bill D. Burger

    Mr. Romney, let me read something ‘someone’ said about Donald Trump in the very recent past, and then get your take on that person:
    “Here’s what I know. Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud. His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He’s playing the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House and all we get is a lousy hat.

    His domestic policies would lead to recession. His foreign policies would make America and the world less safe. He has neither the temperament nor the judgment to be president. And his personal qualities would mean that America would cease to be a shining city on a hill.”

    Would YOU ever work for or even associate with such a person? Answer me!

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    Which one did Trump stiff with the bill? Reince or Romney?

  • Señor Skwerl!

    I am looking forward to that giant upper class tax cut because all of us peons will instantly become rich! Because: magical thinking.

    • Blacktop Cadence

      They’re going to rain it down on us in a gold colored stream!

    • puredog

      We’ll all be eating all our meals at Jean Georges all the time! Yum!

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Welcome to the Reagan Years: Part Two. First as tragedy, then as tragi-comedy.

  • Courser

    Little turtle dude is high centered! Give him a hand…

  • Ezio Auditore

    This picture just screams Goodfellas 2.

    • jodyleek

      Oh, there is nothing “Good” about either of these “Fellas”.

  • FauxAntocles

    That underlighting makes them look creepy… oh, wait… never mind.

    • Rick Hill

      Is under lighting the evil gnomish dude in the back?

      • Msgr_Moment

        Is Mitt blinking?
        BLINK.BLINK.BLINK…..blink.blink.blink….BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

  • Lizzietish81

    You come across a turtle in the desert, it’s on its back. Why aren’t you helping it up?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Have you seen what Jean Georges charges for turtle soup?!!?

    • Painter of Goats

      Because you are a Republican and believe those turtles should just invest in some bootstraps?

    • therblig

      Leon libelz!!!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Because I’m on my back too?

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      Just give me a minute. I’m not done yet.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    What better way to cheerfully recall all the working class people they’ve fucked over in their careers than noshing on frog legs?

    • Painter of Goats

      They were probably served on a plates etched with tasteful renditions of Pepe.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I hope some busboys were thrashed and waiters humiliated in the process. What’s a good plutocrat meal without that?

        • Bozilingus

          Pretty certain they stiffed the staff with a 25 cent tip.

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      Freedom legs.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Does Trump have a sniper on Romney or something? He has this “please help me” look

    • AnOuthouse

      Mika was taking the picture.

    • Tessiee

      You’re certainly polite. I was thinking he looked like somebody muscled their pinkie up his ass.

  • Rick Hill

    Bets that trump treats Rmoney the same way he treated Christie? Make him grovel and then leave him wishing they were inner circle toadies?

    • Apple Scruff

      I was thinking Romney is the one playing hard-to-get and Drumpf is the one on his knees, cause as we know, he wants Romney as SoS because he’s handsome.

      At least I hope this is the case and Romney kicks him in the nuts on the way out when he rejects the offer.

      • Rick Hill

        No. Rmoney publicly insulted and didn’t support trump. There is a price to pay for that

        • Apple Scruff

          Yeah, I know. But is he just another spineless Repub who wants the job so much he’s willing to bend over for it? Or is he just really trolling Drumpf? Because who would want to work in that toxic administration? I really cannot see which way this is headed.

          I guess we’ll eventually find out.

          • Pissed de Résistance

            Whatever the outcome is, rest assured that you won’t like it.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You already know the answer.

          • Apple Scruff

            I swear I don’t! I fear it’s the spineless option, but who knows at this point.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Well, let me help. McCain has been my senator since 1804. He has based his entire career on the fiction that he is some kind of principled “maverick” who will cross party lines at great personal/political risk for the sake of what is right. In reality, these are simply calculated opportunities for self-congratulatory grandstanding on the Sunday talk shows. The minute he has been given the attention he craves and/or a scrap or two off the dinner plate, he disappears to one of his many homes, walks back or forgets whatever the fuck it was that he was making such a brave stand about, and resumes life as the money-grubbing quisling he has always been. No offense, but i can’t beLIEVE people are still falling for this tired schtick.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “You know Mitt, just between us, I’ve always thought Ann was totally hot. An eight, maybe a nine in the right light. You don’t mind my saying that do you, Mr. Future Secretary of State? Of course you don’t.”

      • Pissed de Résistance

        Bring her to dinner next time. Something French. No, not frog legs again. Horse maybe.

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          The end the Godfather didn’t use.

      • bupkus23

        Sounds like the premise behind “An Indecent Proposal” – but there’s no way in hell can I picture Rump being played by Robert Redford ( Rmoney being played by Woody Harrelson, yeah, okay, but… )

        • Tessiee

          “played by Woody Harrelson”

          Mittens haz a disappoint that you don’t think he looks like Bruce Campbell.

  • The Librarian

    Think Progress is mapping hate crimes, but can’t get link to work

  • Rick Hill
    • Bill D. Burger

      Correct approach. You gotta play this fucking trip down the Orange Brick Road for shits and giggles or you’ll just lose it in fits of depression.

  • Apple Scruff

    I don’t understand how, if ‘Hamilton’ is pre-sold out every night, it can make MORE money in a given week? Good on them, though!

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      They are selling tickets for next week, month, year. The money is counted as it comes in, not when the patron sits down.

      • Apple Scruff

        OH, okay. I’ve worked on Broadway too, you’d think I would know this.

  • Me not sure

    Do you know how hard it is to get a table for three, with a kiddie seat, at Chez Hell?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Imagine if you will: A devout servant of Kolob, still wearing his magic underwear, is unable to resist the spell cast and the temptations offered by The Great and Evil Twitterdrumpf and his soul was easily taken and devoured.
    You’ve just crossed over…..

    http://15130-presscdn-0-89.pagely.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/romney-twilight-zone-trump-701×394.jpg

    • Msgr_Moment

      If anybody out there is just joining us from the other timeline, can you tell the rest of us how to escape from it? I enjoyed Twilight Zone a lot when it wasn’t happening to me.

  • Ezio Auditore

    So apparently the KKK is handing out recruitment fliers on the Long Island Railroad, further cementing by belief that Long Island is really the northern version of Alabama.

    http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/KKK-Fliers-Distributed-Long-Island-Rail-Road-Patchogue-Long-Island-403632566.html

  • As long as Hamilton is cutting into CATS‘ profit, I’m good.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Memories…

  • cheetojeebus

    I can see it now. Small boutique in Williamsburg, Slight effete gent behind counter with ridiculous handlebar moustache. “Yes, We just acquired this vintage 2016 pack of Marlboro reds, They’ve been frozen since new, I can let em go for $150.00”

  • Flashman

    Mitt is and has always been an aloof, out-of-touch, craven, pandering phoney. On the other hand, I never thought he was just freaking crazy or vicious, so maybe he would improve the general quality of the Trump cabinet. (I realize I have kind of lowered my standards here a bit.)

    • Lizzietish81

      Like I said yesterday, it’s a sad state of affairs when Mittens is the best we can hope for.

      • Msgr_Moment

        You’d think that Trump would be all over Mitt’s hypno-toad son.

      • undercover epicurean

        The best (and also worst) thing about Trump’s garbage cabinet is that he’s not likely to actually listen to anything they say. And you best believe they’ll get thrown under the bus at the first hint of bad news. I’m taking bets now on how many treasury sec’s he goes through.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      A bit.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        For the 20th time in as many days.

        • Tessiee

          One of the worst things about this travesty is the realization that Dump has no boundaries — none.
          Bad is one thing, we all lived through bad 2000-2008, but it genuinely scares me that I see NO bottom to this barrel.

    • MegPasadena

      I wonder what Seamus thinks about this.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Msgr_Moment

      “Donnie, old boy, could you tell your intern to purse his lips over his teeth? That kind of hurt. A lot.”

    • Rick Hill

      “Aww, jeez. You brought a photographer, too.”

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        “It’s called rubbing it in. Now give me that lap dance.”

    • Apple Scruff

      I really don’t know how any of Drumpf’s “blue collar supporters” can look at that photo and think they made the right decision.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        I would be fascinated and a little scared to have one describe what they see when they look at that photo. Rorschach would have a field day with the insides of their heads.

      • Tessiee

        It’s going to teach President Uppity a lesson by undoing everything he managed to accomplish in spite of their obstruction; so even if it burns the country to the ground, by their standards, that’s the “right decision”.

      • Naytch

        They won’t get fooled again?

        That picture just screams ” Meet the new boss, same as the old boss…”

    • Wait…are they actually eating gold nuggets?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Trump will be announcing his divesting of his assets at a press conference with his children. I think we know what that means. Same old shit.

    • Rick Hill

      “I promise to be more discreet with my use of the office of preznit to further enrich myself.”

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Discrete and Donnie don’t fit in the same room.

    • Apple Scruff

      I think that the problems with the new DC hotel and the lease are rattling him. That’s his baby, and he may have to give it up. I hope he doesn’t figure out a way around it.

      • bupkus23

        As it is, that hotel’s federal lease is a problem for Rump:

        Link: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-will-violate-dc-hotel-lease-taking-office-say-experts-n689146

        Steven L. Schooner, a professor of government procurement law at the George Washington University Law School, and Daniel I. Gordon, a senior advisor to GW’s Government Procurement Law Program (and President Obama’s first administrator for federal procurement policy) pointed out this week in Government Executive magazine that a provision in Trump’s lease with the General Services Administration states that “No … elected official of the Government of the United States … shall be admitted to any share or part of this Lease, or to any benefit that may arise therefrom…”

        It may not be enough for Rump to “divest”…

    • therblig

      will be interesting to see what happens when the boycotts of all things trump really start to hit home. you know he won’t be able to control himself.

    • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

      Trump’s got bigger fish fish to fry now. He’s going to turn the U.S.Treasury into a money making enterprise…Oh wait…

      • Msgr_Moment

        A billion here, a billion there. Soon you’re talking BIG money.

  • Me not sure

    Whaddaya want to bet they walked off and made Priebus get the meal?

  • Rick Hill
    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      She is now banned in Trump’s America. Bravo!

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    journalists and keyboard cowboys will now look like hipster douchebags instead of sullen, battle-hardened dispensers of truth and justice.

    Great, the press already has an image problem. And you don’t want a vaporizer blowing up in your pocket when Hemingway is trying to drink you under the table.

  • AnOuthouse

    Just so you don’t too cheerful on hump day, the Secretary of the Treasury is fifth in the United States presidential line of succession.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      But somebody would have to do an awful lot of fine work for that to happen.

    • Msgr_Moment

      And this one could totally ‘find a guy’, IYKWIM.

    • suziq

      How far down do we have to go to get somebody sane? Just asking for a friend…

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        This time around? Dream on. COG wasn’t intended to work with an open-air loony bin of sycophants, ideologues, and straight up morans.

      • Jamoche

        Y’know Kiefer Sutherland’s new show? Yeah, that far.

  • therblig

    trump later assured the press that no amphibians were harmed for the meal.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a67701c94e5d4f7341185c905b4fb2ac8e9a015892f1deca2f012feb2308aaa5.jpg

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Monseiuer Grenouille sez, “Build the Maiginot Wall!”

    • PubOption

      The guy in the photo could make a living playing the front half of a centaur.

    • borninatrailer

      Mr Tumnus is quite dapper.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Teresa May isn’t up to Trump’s high standards. And she’s not an
    Eastern European. Why did you expect him to call on her?

    • Jukesgrrl

      Maybe if she got breast implants …

  • AnOuthouse

    “That growing list includes Allstate, Nest, EarthLink, Warby Parker and SoFi.”
    Earthlink? Who still uses a modem?

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      You might be surprised. But then consider how cheap most telcoms are and that will go away. A lot of rural US still lacks cable, cell and wifi.

    • suziq

      Why would normal companies advertise at Dead Breitbart? That is what is more disturbing to me.

      • Jamoche

        It’s not so much that they’re choosing it, as that they got an ad package that included it and thousands of other sites, and it’s only now that any significant light has been shining on it.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Nest huh? I hadn’t realized that Google supported the alt-right. I think I’ll start Binging things.

  • geoffalnutt

    That hideous sound we heard…which drowned out all music, traffic noises, etc. was the cacophonous S L U R P I N G as Rmoney sucked Trumpelthinskin’s teeny weenis.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Well, now I can skip breakfast.

      • The wonkette diet is the only diet you will ever need!

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          Their recipes are fun too.

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            I get to make Ken Layne’s Cranberry Business for Christmas dinner! I’m so excited!

    • cynmac will never surrender

      With votes!

  • Mavenmaven

    This is the design proposal for the set of Trump’s first “thank you” rally:
    http://www.historyplace.com/worldwar2/triumph/hitler-triumph-rows.jpg

    • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

      He requires a more spacious venue for his first State of the Rei…er, Union Address than the stuffy old Halls of Congress.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie

        They could rename the National Mall the Zeppelinfeld.

        • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

          …and place a golden hairpiece atop the Nazional Obelisk.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      How would he get a bunch of knuckle dragging hicks to stand in rank and file like that?

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Super glue their feet to the ground?

        • Pissed de Résistance

          Should be easy. Most of them don’t have shoes.

    • chiefkurtz

      Given his ego, it’ll be renamed the ‘you’re welcome’ rally, and his supporters will naturally disseminate it as the ‘your (sic) welcome’ rally.

    • PubOption
  • Rick Hill
  • Bub the Mad Zombie

    I had decided to go on a fast & purge this morning, logged on and saw this photo.

    Thanks Wonkette!

  • Bub the Mad Zombie

    Kellogg’s has decided to join the growing chorus of advertisers pulling their business from Breitbart. Breitbart thinks this is “un-American”, despite the fact that milk becomes colored in cereal.

    It must really piss off the racist assholes at Breitbart that the two most common colours for milk after white are brown and pink.

    • Tessiee

      That’s the only pink they’re likely to see.

  • Like everybody Trump is picking have had failed political careers.
    I thought he only liked winners?

    • He likes lackeys.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      You may need to dial back your expectations of what “winners” are.

    • Tessiee

      Who but a loser would consent to work for this lunatic?

  • DT

    “Breitbart thinks this is “un-American”, despite the fact that milk becomes colored in cereal.”

    Dominic, you are a true American, and you can stay as long as you like.

  • Bub the Mad Zombie
  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    I just saw the photo above at Reuters, uncropped. Only Donnie is in the spotlight. The other are in his shade. Symbolic much?

  • Incoming Ham

    If I have ever seen an expression that says “Help me, what have I done?” it’s the one on Romney’s face in that picture.

    Sorry, blood is impossible to get out of parchment, which is why Satan makes you sign his contracts with it.

  • Bill Slider

    I love baby box turtles, but they, like
    other youngsters, get excited when you pick them up, so be alert and hold them away from you.

  • Kooolest G

    speaking of hamilton, drunk history was awesome last night

    http://www.cc.com/shows/drunk-history

    • cynmac will never surrender

      Watching it now on Hulu.

    • Resistinceisnotfutile

      One of my favorite shows. I’ll never forget Harriet Tubman saying “Ain’t that some shit?”

  • calliecallie

    That golden glow behind the table where Mittens and Drumpf are having dinner? It’s the open briefcase that contained Mittens’ soul.

  • Bill Slider

    I trust that the Dean at Dominic’s University of Journalism School both reads Wonkette, and recognizes you deserve a special reward for correctly noting that white milk turns colored when it comes into contact with Kellogg’s corn flakes. That dry humor, of which I highly approve, should gain the attention even of the British. Is there a Nobel Peace Prize for Snark?

    • phoenix00

      They’re Grrreat!

  • samrockton

    dullest dinner ever

    • phoenix00

      crepyest dinner ever

  • Michael R
    • John Hollingsworth

      Hey Mitt, buddy, you still got a little bit of sh1t on your mouth.

  • Tessiee

    Those two facial expressions ought to be in the dictionary next to “sadism” and “masochism” respectively.*

    *But not respectfully.

  • undercover epicurean
    • Resistinceisnotfutile

      Those eyes say “Are you fucking kidding me? Halp.”

      • Mintie

        After all the shit he put us through in 2012? So tempted to let him drown.

        • Resistinceisnotfutile

          So tempted to start mailing pillows to Egg until she gets the message. And Melanoma too, also, as well and forthwith.

  • John Lo

    At the dinner table, on the left, Lickspittle Preibus, on the right, Lickspittle Romney. In the center, the dud.

  • phoenix00

    …. are you saying Mitch McConnell is a teeny weeny box turtle?

  • JHan

    Frog’s legs – if that isn’t humiliation on a plate ..

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