SHARE

We’ve heard a lot lately about foul alt-racists being banned from Twitter, and that makes them very angry! Luckily, they’ve got their own safe space, Gab, where they can racist all they want. So if if all the Milos and Chuck Johnsons and Matt Forneys love Gab so much, and hate Twitter so much, they should be happy, right? Wrong! Why is that? Let’s enlist adorable cartoon deer to explain it for you.

Cheers!

knoxiegabfull

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Oblios_Cap

    Oh, Dear.

  • anwisok

    Heh. This, I like.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Gab? Should have been called Goeb(bels)*

    *it would certainly take a bunch of nazis** to make me side with Twitter.
    ** I hate Twitter Nazis (but thankfully so does Twitter.)

  • MynameisBlarney

    Princess Sparkle Pony?!

    That sounds awfully similar to my wizards name in D&D Online.
    Sparklepony Fancypants.

    https://cdn.meme.am/cache/images/folder688/300x/84688.jpg

    Anyway, heh…

    Cartoon Deer nailed it.

    • boberiggert

      PSP is an old Wonkette friend, rarely seen these days.

  • Nounverb911
  • LesBontemps

    Hooray, Princess Sparkle Pony is back! With Newt coming back into government, we will need regular Callista hairdo status updates!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Donald – the original boy named Sue…

  • Yet more “tough” alt-right ‘he-men’ demanding safe spaces for their bigotry and hatred? I’m shocked.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • fucking normalization.

    • Lara

      The whole meeting was covered in such a blasé manner, even by NPR. And several sites talked about the “good looking guys” that were there.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Damn! All this economic anxiety on display is so sad.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4UhJpviVYg

      Time is a flat circle. The past is over. And over. And over. And over.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’ll get to the story in a bit: working on my action items now. Managed to call Feinstein’s SF office to tell her to urge Congress to investigate Russian hacking of the election: still trying her DC office, as well as Boxer’s (next call I make will be to her local office.) Got through to Adam Schiff’s office to tell him to oppose Bannon, Flynn, and Ebell (the last one being a climate change denier for EPA chief FFS.) STILL trying to get through to the House Oversight Committee: I may have to call individual members instead. Time to send Elijah Cummings and his people some love!

    • Vive la resistance! Go Cally!

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Just got off the phone with Cummings’ staff. Send the love to (202) 335-4741!

        • do they want strange Canadian love?

          • mancityhombres

            depends on how strange?
            no more riding crops, dammit

          • Foreign Agitator Ron

            Okay, violet wand it is.

          • mancityhombres

            I’m not sure I wanna play this game anymore

          • Foreign Agitator Ron

            Did I give you permission to speak? I didn’t think so.

          • mancityhombres

            *shuts up*

          • Foreign Agitator Ron

            Well done. Tomorrow I might even let you off the leash for an hour.

          • mancityhombres

            still better than my ex

          • Bear OmNomNom

            WHERE are you putting that maple leaf? You want me to do WHAT with that poutine?!

    • Ellen D.

      I yelled at some people on facebook.




      OK. You win.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Have you been able to get through to the Paul Ryan Call for ACA Hatred? There’s an action to flood it with pro-calls, but the line’s not even ringing for me.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/121a69427e41cbeec81d74ebb75d5f65d62c4d7ed83267357473fa1ddb3bb5f9.png

      • MissNomer

        I got through yesterday. It may not pick up, so press 2 to hear the survey. You have to listen to a 1-min message about how Speaker Ryan wants to dismantle the ACA–be patient and wait for the survey.
        Then press 1 for support of the ACA.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Try again: I got through. Though I did not get option one or two, just VM. Made my support for Obamacare quite clear!

  • calliecallie

    Would like to assume cartoon deer dead.

  • anon_the_great

    Doubleplus good

    • Nounverb911

      We have always been at war with Trumptopiastanighazi.

  • Rise Up, Demme!

    princess sparkle pony!!!!
    yay!
    long time, no see!!!

  • The Devastated Ms. MLG

    Actual deer are pretty tough. I hit one with my car once, and it got up and ran right off, despite having been hit by a car, then rolling across my hood like Keanu Reeves in an action film. The fragile, butthurt creatures of the alt-right need to be represented by something which more closely resembles their constitutions. Maybe a used Kleenex.

    • schmannity
      • The Devastated Ms. MLG

        That is one big, red butt!

        • schmannity

          Trump or the oranutan?

          • Nounverb911

            AOT,K.

          • The Devastated Ms. MLG

            Yes.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Why?
        Why, oh why did I click on that?

        • Oblios_Cap

          Right after lunch, too…

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yup.
            Pizza too..

        • redarmyzombie

          You know what place this is, you have no one to blame but yourself!

          • MynameisBlarney

            So not true.
            I still have Obama to blame!

      • Ezio

        Man, Ted Nugent really let himself go.

        • Edita Espinosa (Edith Prickly)

          Shitting your pants for a week to avoid getting drafted leaves a mark.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Their bones are really really resilient.
      Much more so than cow bones.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Maybe – we followed one (for meat) some trucker hit in northern Cal. After two miles we found her in a stream, standing on her one unbroken leg…

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      They are tough, but getting hit by a car causes massive internal injuries. They can often get some distance off the road, but then collapse.

    • clubseal
      • The Devastated Ms. MLG

        Dear Keanu!

  • blogslut

    indeed

  • Ezio

    Freedom of speech means that the government can’t send you to prison or censor you for what you say. It does NOT mean that you cannot be banned from a website when you violate their guidelines and act like a racist jerkface.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      you would probably be banned from stormfront for not being a racist jerkface.

      • Ezio

        White people: Lol! These SJWs want safe spaces and are triggered and offended by everything!

        *Colin Kaepernick doesn’t stand for national anthem*

        White people: WHAAAT!? THIS IS SO RACIST AND ANTI-WHITE AND ANTI-AMERICAN IF YOU DON’T LIKE AMERICA THEN LEAVE! RAAARGH!

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          No one triggers faster than a Trumpkin who wants to complain about SJW’s and their triggers.

        • clubseal

          Also, too:

          White people: *casually ignore the actual message he was trying to get across and make up another out of whole cloth*

  • Oblios_Cap

    So the Trumpkin deer is named Trotski? Does he end up later knocked in the head by an ice ax?

  • Ezio

    I really want to make some deer-related puns, but my puns are not worth a buck.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That was stag-gering!

      • MynameisBlarney

        I think we’re getting stuck in a rut with these puns.

    • The Devastated Ms. MLG

      Who could make a decent pun with all the nice racks in the post? Distracting!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Mine are worth 100 sows and bucks.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      D’Oh!

    • timpundit

      D’oh!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I think I’ve herd that one before.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Sometimes, when the pun phone rings, you just shouldn’t antler.

    • Go on, give it a try. We’re sure to fawn over them.

    • Resistinceisnotfutile

      I’m sure they’ll be the thicket puns yet.

      • Thaumaturgist

        I’ve been rutting around for puns my whole life.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      In Trumpland, no need for puns. Just faun all over him and you’re good.

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      That not what I’ve herd.

    • PubOption

      I think you are on point.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      If my friends and I had a couple bucks, we could walk into a bar and they’d actually cervus.

      • Wee Mousie

        Only if you go stag, and the doe they charge will make you scat.

    • Querolous
  • Oblios_Cap
  • calliecallie

    Oh, Wonkers. I am really glad you are here.

  • Ricky Gay

    Doe!

  • I’d also like to point out to everyone that the only way to tell Knoxie apart from Trotski, his evil twin, is that Trotski only has three legs. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Is it important that the leg switches sides when he faces the other way?

      • NO, his single hind leg is in the center. It’s like a tripod.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Ah, OK.

        • Oblios_Cap

          you know who else had a third leg and looked like a tripod?

          RE: the strip -“magic gun”! Har!

          • Nockular cavity

            Pierson’s Puppeteers?

          • Oblios_Cap

            Nice!

          • boberiggert

            David Crosby?

          • Objectifer

            Milton Berle?

          • Serai 1

            Guy Lombardo?

        • PubOption

          Otherwise he would Leon to one side.

        • Wee Mousie

          Sort of like a 1957 BMW Isetta.

    • The Wanderer

      So, veteran of the War on Christmas?

    • Nasty Granny

      My dad taught me that the quickest way to judge the size of a herd of deer was to count the legs and divide by four. Trotski presents a new challenge.

  • Nounverb911

    And in other trumpish news, When the President of Argentina called the orange one to congratulate him, trump asked Macri to see what he could do about speeding up some building permits for one of his projects down there.

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/800752139538759681

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      As long as he didn’t make the request in an email it’s fine!

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        As long as he keeps his emails on a private RNC server and they all disappear without a trace, he’ll be fine.

        • Bad Tom

          He certainly doesn’t have to worry about the Russians hacking them, and turning them over to Julian Assage.

      • Me not sure

        Where’s a good fascist like Juan Peron when you need one?

        • Nounverb911

          Recoletto cemetary?

          • Me not sure

            So, still dead too.

        • Nockular cavity

          Don’t cry for Ivanka, Argentina.

        • Edita Espinosa (Edith Prickly)
    • Sean McLaren

      damnit jinx

    • Ezio

      New swamp, meet the old swamp.

      • Wee Mousie

        New Washington Swamp, now featuring quicksand with 2000% greater suckage.

    • Stulexington

      I bet trumpsters are so glad they kept corruption out of the white house.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Drain the Swamp!

        • Sean McLaren

          Trump will be hawking his plan to put apartments and timeshares there. Presidentially approved, so you know it’s legit!

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Swamp the drains!

        • Nockular cavity

          …so we can sell swampland to the rubes.

        • boyblue123

          Drain the Swamp and then put Swamp Thing in charge of the White House

      • NastyBossetti

        Yes, because that is exactly what they actually cared about!

    • Trump, putting the “proper” back in improper.

    • boyblue123

      Theres been more corruption before Drumpf even takes office than there was in all the other presidents combined

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      Oh, international affairs are going to be SO interesting. <hides in basement>

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      If NATO countries want protection, they’ll need to open their own Trump hotels. Licensing fees count towards defense spending.

    • Ellen D.
      • NastyBossetti

        Phew!

      • Bad Tom

        The President-Elect did it!
        QED.

  • Sean McLaren

    This hasn’t been verified outside of the Argentinian newspaper it was reported in, but it does seem to be one of the major, reputable papers there.

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/800752139538759681

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      US Presidency. New and Improved! Now with Whiter Whites and More Corruption!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Don’t worry! The American media are ON IT.*

      *right after they go on The View to talk about the Hamilton controversy.

      • Bad Tom

        Look at the bright side!
        We aren’t talking about the god damned emails anymore.

        • Bear OmNomNom

          That’s only because Killary threatened to Vince Fosterghazi all the journalists!!!11!!1! Which Drumpf would never do, ‘cuz he loves the press.

          • Bad Tom

            Except for today’s Secret Meeting, where Drumpf didn’t love them so much.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Make America Trump Great Again!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      International kleptocracy, here we come!

    • Serai 1

      Everybody realizes this is why he wanted to become President, right? Aside from destroying the legacy of the guy who made a couple of jokes about him, the entire thing is just a way to wield the most massive leverage possible in his “business” dealings.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    I dunno – deer don’t talk like that…pigs, maybe….

    • Me not sure

      They wouldn’t let Rudolph play in their games because he’s a Jew. The nose was a dead giveaway.

      • puredog

        I would have thought Rudolph’s nose would have tagged him as Irish.

        • Me not sure

          O’Deer!

      • SayItWithWookies

        All the reindeer are Jewish — who else works on Christmas Eve? (Don’t even ask about Santa).

        • therblig

          about 18 years ago, blig jr had an asthma attack on christmas night. our pediatrician told us to take him to beth israel (where he was born). you would think that the place would be filled with jewish doctors, but apparently there was a single attending physician on duty. we were there for 8 hours while blig jr had inhalation therapy, an xray (one radiologist on duty, so that took 2 hours to get read), and finally saw a pediatrician. then, because the attending physician was the only one who could discharge him. and sadly, because he was dealing with a case involving a fatality, we didn’t get out until 7 am the next morning. if i had to guess, i would guess that christmas and the jewish sabbath fell on the same night.

          oh, i forgot to mention that on christmas eve, we had to have one of our dogs put down, because her cancer had progressed and her lungs were filling with fluid.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            You really need to plan better….

      • AnOuthouse

        I thought he was an alcoholic and they had already put up with enough of his shit.

        • Me not sure

          Lit all the time.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Doesn’t every “say anything you want” website eventually get shutdown for being a haven for child porn? Seems like Gab has a bright future.

    • Serai 1

      If you don’t set limits, you eventually end up at the bottom of the pit with the ghouls.

  • Nounverb911

    It was just revealed that Donnie is divvying up his weekly schedule to make it more manageable.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/faffbff1792da882652000a6114f42677992c223c21f67a7140dbe338addaf1b.jpg

    • KenRob

      Realistically, Tiffany would never be on his calendar.

  • The Wanderer

    (yawn) Just about as amusing as Dilbert – which is to say, not at all.

  • boyblue123

    The white supremacists dont even need twitter anymore really:

    Breitbart Traffic Down As Readers Now Getting Bulk Of News Analysis From Graffiti Scrawled Across Neighborhood

    http://www.theonion.com/article/breitbart-traffic-down-readers-now-getting-bulk-ne-54727

  • HA! That is precisely it XD

  • andyshelt

    Trump announces one of the acts who will sing at his inauguration ceremony.

    https://youtu.be/29Mg6Gfh9Co?t=18s

    • PubOption

      The Freedom Girls might appear, but only if they are paid cash in advance.

    • PUAAN Pussy Has Clawz

      no matter how many times i have seen that scene, i get goosebumps and a horrified feeling.

    • Frank Underboob

      And he’ll stiff them on their payment, too.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    First I ever heard of Gab, but I understand the dilemma. Did they try offering free accounts to women and minorities?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Just create some bots to serve as abuse targets. Kinda like Westworld, but in a cheapass hater website way.

      • Wee Mousie

        Ashley Madison has pioneered the technology.

    • Paul

      We’d all sign up for them, just like the Muslim registry. So no.

  • JHan

    It’s all this and a bag of chips.

    Cartoon deer hits it out of the park.

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    Reason #5612 why droughts are good things. (Not really).

    https://twitter.com/latimes/status/800762527017799680

    • Resistinceisnotfutile

      We are simply out of practice driving in the rain. Long about March we’ll figure it out.

      • Sean McLaren

        I’ve spent plenty of time in LA. They never figure it out. 80->0->80->0->80->crash

    • jowgajen

      The time between rains is so long that the roads get this layer of crap on them. Once it does rain, the crap becomes deadly slippery. I have lived all over the US, and am quite happy driving in snow, sleet, whatever if there is still visibility …. I will not drive in LA on the first day it rains. Way too dangerous.

      • cat cafe

        Not only that, but Los Angeles is a basin. Even a small amount of rain means the streets flood. All of them.

      • Serai 1

        Yep. I still don’t understand the thought process that says the city where more people drive cars than anywhere else in the country is populated by people who can’t drive.

        • Wee Mousie

          They can drive. They just can’t drive and drink a latte, put on lipstick, shave, talk or text on their phone, check their GPS, and give that bastard who cut them off, the finger.

          • Serai 1

            Oh, so in other words, we drive like adults.

          • Wee Mousie

            Yup! The best city drivers can often multitask themselves into a really interesting, twenty-second, traffic fatality report on the eleven o’clock news.

    • Mister Thibs

      Coloradans turn into imbeciles at the sight of the slightest moisture as well. :(

      • Clark_Nova

        You should see what roundabouts do to my fellow New Mexicans.

    • Wee Mousie

      That happens in Canadian cities, every fall during the first snowfall.

  • andyshelt

    This is fucking scary.

    “By the time Richard B. Spencer, the leading ideologue of the alt-right movement and the final speaker of the night, rose to address a gathering of his followers on Saturday, the crowd was restless. Spencer had urged the group to start acting less like an underground organization and more like the establishment.

    But now his tone changed as he began to tell the audience of more than 200
    people, mostly young men, what they had been waiting to hear. He railed against Jews and, with a smile, quoted Nazi propaganda in the original German. America, he said, belonged to white people, whom he called the “children of the sun,” a race of conquerors and creators who had been marginalized but now, in the era of President-elect Donald J. Trump, were “awakening to their own identity.”

    As he finished, several audience members had their arms outstretched in a Nazi salute. When Mr. Spencer, or perhaps another person standing near him at the front of the room — it was not clear who — shouted, “Heil the people! Heil victory,” the room shouted it back.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/21/us/alt-right-salutes-donald-trump.html

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      And back comes the nausea.
      Why do I keep thinking that ‘Second Amendment solutions’ will be all that keep these little shits from destroying the country?

      • puredog

        I don’t know. I suspect that “these little shits” have vastly more firepower than those you contemplate solutionning them.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Actually, there’s no evidence of that. Very few of them have the slightest clue how to employ their arsenals effectively.

          • nightmoth

            Yup—my fave youtube vid: “I just fuckin’ shot myself.”

          • Lambsendbeds

            I prefer the one with the guy who blew off his own leg playing with explosives and (I believe) a lawn mower.

          • Paul
        • Foreign Agitator Ron

          A valid point. But historically they seem impervious to political or social solutions. That doesn’t leave many options if they actually gain any sort of power or influence.

        • Nasty Candy Apple

          Hi. Marxist with Second Amendment solutions right in my home checking in.

          • Frank Underboob

            I hope you’ve got a few dozen boxes of votes to go with ’em!

        • Gristle McThornbody

          I think you’d be surprised at how many of us lefty, progressive hippies have more firepower at home than you think. We just don’t strap it on to go grocery shopping, or find it necessary to make veiled threats to go all 2nd amendment on everyone who pisses us off.

          • cat cafe

            And the U.S. military is even more powerful than it was last time, and last time it was plenty powerful enough against the same kind of posturing, swaggering and not-so-veiled threats from racist assholes. It was even powerful enough to beat even more virulent, heavily armed little shits in their place of origin–which, you may recall, even your kind viewed as “the bad guys” not so long ago.

            We lefty hippies may have these silly beliefs that everyone is equal and humans need community and kindness to survive, but never think that means you can fuck with us.

          • Clark_Nova

            True dat!!!

          • Paul

            Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson both agree.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      The one positive of this is that of the seething horde of trolls and assholes that populate the right-wing spectrum, only 200 had the stones to be seen in the light of day.

      • Foreign Agitator Ron

        Let us hope that someone took pictures. LOTS of pictures. Full-face, profile. Might be needed soon. You never know.

        • Sean McLaren
          • Foreign Agitator Ron

            It’s a start!

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            For the record, that’s Tila Tequila on the right there.

          • Kooolest G

            funny story about her, her real name is Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen
            and she was born in Singapore, where her family were Vietnamese boat people, who arrived from Vietnam after the Vietnam War. When she was one year old, the family relocated to a neighborhood in Houston, Texas.

            I’m sure she’s against letting the syrian refugees in though, pull up that ladder behind you “tila”

          • Ray in VT

            What the what?

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Yep. She’s a hard core neo nazi. Publicly.

          • Oh yeah, that Ben Stein looking motherfucker is clearly part of the master race… *eyeroll*

          • Wee Mousie

            If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, start whipping up that orange glaze,

      • cat cafe

        I actually don’t think it is a “horde,” but a far smaller group than anyone thinks. They’ve just mastered the art of taking over social media. The serious manipulators have also paid “assistants” in Russia with hundreds of fake profiles, egging them on, because it suits their needs.

    • Anna Rompage

      Children of the sun?

      More like children of their father uncle brothers….

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Billy Thorpe LIBEL!!!!11

      • AnOuthouse

        Children of the Corn.

      • Jamoche

        Yep, the sun loves them so much, it gives them the most skin cancer.

      • Wee Mousie

        Floater turds of a lesser cesspool.

    • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

      Adolf Hitler: Great fascist or the greatest fascist? Discuss.

    • Ray in VT

      It’s amazing how completely racist these guys sound, because some were on the BBC saying how they weren’t racist.

    • Mildred Broxon

      I always thought the Children of the Sun were the Aztecs. Deeply religious folk, those. Really put their (or, rather, other people’s) hearts into it.

      • PUAAN Pussy Has Clawz

        i think i may have downvoted by accident. sorry, damn Arthur Itis!

  • TribeGadgets

    They have a community guidelines bit. Fave part : “Try to be nice and kind to one another”.

    • therblig

      way back when, when FuckedCompany was still a thing, the only term of service you had to agree to was, “I agree to not be a douchebag”.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        I remember that site. The terms of service were clearly unenforceable.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Are white supremacist afraid to use 23 and me? I just found out that my lily white heritage from Texas and Oklahoma isn’t so lily white. I was pretty pleased to discover that I’m sorta kinda biracial. Now time to go to work on my hidden Muslim heritage.

    • Resistinceisnotfutile

      Hahaha! Love it. We found out our Native American heritage is actually only .6% but we have 1.9% African heritage and 23.4% Jewish. No idea who those ancestors are.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I’m Native American (2%), West African (.6%) and the rest British/Irish. So, you know, future skin cancer case here.

        • Wee Mousie

          23% Terrain, 37% Apha Centuri Primate, 24% Orianian, 11% Siriusian 5% Cassiopeian, but not a freaking drop linked to Kobol.

          • Land Shark

            Can they detect Vogon yet?

          • Wee Mousie

            No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, and no one detects the a Vogon working on an intergalactic highway construction project.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Yip yip!

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        This sounds cool. Which DNA testing service are you all using?

        • Resistinceisnotfutile

          23 and Me.

        • almaalum

          I used 23&Me and Ancestry. I’m as lily white as they come; I was really hoping for something slightly more interesting.

          • janecita

            Which one of them would you recommend?

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            I used 23 and Me.

      • AnOuthouse

        No doubt you’re related to Thomas Jefferson. Everybody else is.

        • Bad Tom

          The man got around.

        • tomamitai

          And the prophet Muhammad, also too.

          • Querolous

            And Genghis Khan.

        • Frank Underboob

          Especially black Americans.

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      Probably a mix of ‘I don’t believe in DNA (while being right upside heredity (but not evolution))’ and ‘Oh, God, I hope no-one ever finds out about Great-Aunt Elizy.’

    • Bear OmNomNom

      The “23” just makes ’em afraid it’s an IQ test.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        “If you do not understand the instruction for submitting a DNA sample, please do not reproduce.”

    • cat cafe

      They operate from a place of fear, fury, and a terrible awareness of their own inferiority, combined with a willful refusal to do anything to better themselves, educate themselves, acquire a useful set of skills, or learn about the world around them. Much easier to pretend that “white” makes them automatically better than everyone else. The last thing they’d do is risk finding out they don’t even have that. So yes, afraid is exactly what they are.

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      I dunno. I don’t think ‘Muslim Atheist’ is a thing.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I was a Christian Atheist before I converted. There is no god and Allah isn’t his name.

    • Frank Underboob

      My roomie recently got one of those tests & was greatly disappointed to find that basically Norse, with not a trace of the Indigenous Australian genes she’d hoped to find.

  • Anna Rompage

    Almost 20,000,000 Trump voters would lose time and a half overtime under proposed GOP changes to labor laws, but don’t fear, the GOP has a plan to blame this on
    the immigrants that they intend on deporting, the gays, a secret UN agenda, and the boogeymen that are living under your bed, in your closet, and that are lurking around each & every corner…

  • SayItWithWookies

    It’s a tribute to American Nazis’ imaginations, I guess, that they can think of a society where they’re the innately superior ones. I’ve seen ’em — they ain’t all that.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      People who need to be told they’re awesome just from the accident of their birth usually don’t have a whole lot else going on.

      • Foreign Agitator Ron

        ‘Please list your accomplishments in the space below. Use the back of this form if extra space is needed.’
        1) I was born.
        2)

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Big arrows pointing to and many circles around the box checked for Race: CAUCASIAN.

      • Wee Mousie

        “The last noteworthy thing you did was crawl out of your mother’s vagina, and even that you didn’t do under your own power.”

    • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

      Because nothing says I’m superior like scurrying around under cover of darkness spray painting swastika Trumpstains on playgrounds and other targets of your hate.

      • Serai 1

        And trying to dance your way out of responsibility for anything you do. That definitely tells people that you are of The Best Moral Fiber!

      • Wee Mousie

        I’d consider it acceptable behaviour if they restricted their activities to Trump properties, After all, he always scrawled his name on his building, so why would he want to make them exceptions.

    • Rick Hill

      Free market should always favor something superior. Why does the whole world keep standing in their way?

    • Serai 1

      It’s amusing to imagine what actual Nazis would think of these sloppy American wannabes. Methinks a great deal of sneering would be involved.

      • Wee Mousie

        Nazi’s were really into vegetarianism, the supernatural, and nudism. What ever happens, pray god, they never decide to follow the latter one.

        • Serai 1

          They also worked very hard at being evil, which these assholes are too spoiled to do. Also, primo fashion sense. They’d toss these dipshits in the ovens just for their fucking egregious camo sins.

          • Wee Mousie

            I don’t think those assholes have to work too hard at being evil, they’re just naturally gifted that way.

          • I AM R U

            Yeah, not seeing a lot of Hugo Boss on these US tossers.

        • Paul

          And drugs. Let’s not forget drugs. Serious fucking drugs. Lots and lots.

          • Wee Mousie

            You know who else had a lot of serious fucking drugs?

          • Frank Underboob

            He literally did!

          • Serai 1

            One of the prime reasons why the REAL Nazis would have killed them without a thought. Drug addicts were on the kill list.

          • Paul

            Hitler was fucking high as a kite most of the time. His personal doctor gave him whatever he needed. Injected. Repeatedly.

            His inner circle enjoyed “better living through chemistry” too.

          • Serai 1

            Yeah, I never said they weren’t fucking hypocrites.

  • Eric NNY

    It’s been too long since we’ve heard from you PSP.

    • Alicia Morgan

      Yay! I second that! Greetings from Hooterville! Good to know you are still on the job. Does the Prez-elect have a Hairdo Alert System? Although I guess it only has one level – Apocalyptic.

    • I always assumed that this was just a rather obvious assumed alias for Dok (Who…hmmm….is “away” for the week. Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen Dok and Superman in the same place…)

  • AnOuthouse

    Cool, there’s another social media thing I don’t participate in. I am so way beyond hip.

    • Wee Mousie

      Me, too. I don’t use faceplant, twitspiel, or pincrap.

      If the authorities want to know what I’m thinking about, they’ll have to send a hooker over to get it out of me during pillow talk.

      • Bemused

        If the authorities use pintrest to track what I’m thinking about, I’m fine. They’ll think all I think about is Sims custom content, travel, and Victorian-type houses. Clearly I am harmless.

        • Wee Mousie

          One of the brain trusts presently poised to become “the authorities” will probably have you hauled in for questioning about suspected illegal trafficking in antique houses across international borders.

          • Bemused

            Nah, we don’t really care that much about smuggling things across the US/Canadian border. If I were into Spanish style homes, now that would be a different story.

          • BrianW

            Nah, it’s only illegal because he’s not giving them a cut.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Pfffff… I guess I have to say it again:

    (tired monotone)
    The First Amendment is not a shield, it is a sword that cuts both ways. Freedom of speech does not shield one from counter-criticism. Social media sites are private organizations are not beholden to the First Amendment. Citing the First is the ultimate concession, as you are saying the strongest argument you can make is that your opinion is literally not illegal.

    Thank you and have a good day.

    • You know I’m making fun of that in the cartoon… right?

      • snark-lurker

        methunk she jumped defense n ran off with an UNicorn

        O NO I MEANT THIS FOR Eric NNY BELOW

    • azeyote

      i plead the 5th whenever i can –

      • Wee Mousie

        I always take a quart, if I can reach it.

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          Quarts are a rip-off. 1.75l or GTFO.

          • Wee Mousie

            I find that I can only drink one Imperial quart before I pass out in a pool of vomit. With a 1.75 litre bottle, I would probably spill 21 US ounces.

          • JustDon’tSayDittos

            put the extra fifth in an ice tray!

          • Wee Mousie

            Without a scientific-grade refrigerator, a fifth of American beer can probably be frozen into Popsicles, but Capetian Morgan Deluxe at 70 proof — I don’t think so.

          • Frank Underboob

            Not a chance, no.

          • Frank Underboob

            Yeah, I can’t manage more than about a litre myself.

    • Serai 1

      Pretty sure this is a concept we’re going to have to get used to explaining ten times a day.

      • Frank Underboob

        Rather than explain it to them, I find it funnier to mock them for it. “That’s right, fucktard! I, personally, have censored your asshole buddies!”

        • I like the cut of your jib! You make “censorship” fun!

        • Serai 1

          Yes, I’m sure that accomplishes a great deal.

          • Frank Underboob

            It amuses the hell out of me, which is all I ask for.

    • gtghawaii

      You should take a trip over to Gab.

      • Hardly Ideal

        Thanks, but I think I’d rather eat my own brain with a spoon.

        • KenRob

          LMAO! Thanks, and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’m grateful I wasn’t drinking anything when I read your comment. Best one ever. Still laughing.

    • You could point them to this handy-dandy online free-speech refresher course:

      http://jezebel.com/5985635/an-idiots-guide-to-free-speech

      Although an “idiots guide” might be a few steps above their pay-grade.

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird
  • Serai 1

    No, no. Don’t do that. If you use logic, you’ll just make them mad.

    • I AM R U

      Whatever you do, don’t use facts or logic! It just enrages the beast!!!

  • Jonny On Maui

    Princess Sparkle Pony? Lindsey, is that you?

  • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

    Please stop calling them “alt right”. They’re Neo Nazis.

    • ez

      Matrix slander!

      Just plain Nazi is a fine description.

  • Frank Underboob

    Given that I’m one of those terrible people who enjoys picking on neo-Nazis & MRAs, I wonder how long it’ll take the Gab “Freedumb of speach” admins to kick me out if I open an account there just to fuck with them?

    • Probably a lot longer than it would take them to get the irony of the situation.

    • tjp77

      Nobody gets banned from Gab. You’d likely get downvoted or ignored though. Go ahead and give it a try. See if you can prove your thesis.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        They prolly just ignore you. I suspect there’s no such thing as a liberal troll – liberals tend to get bored with yelling at stupid people – so they don’t have the issue we have with flaming rightwing assholes who are incapable of SingTFU. I takes a special kind of stupid to be a troll, and the wingnuts have a lock on that talent.

        • Helene Logan

          Truth.

      • Frank Underboob

        Oh, they don’t ignore me on Twitter, so I doubt they’d ignore me on Gab either. But nice try, kid. ;)

      • Frank Underboob
    • Deadmau5 Patton

      you can’t be censored there. it’s not for the alt-right. it’s for anyone who wants to say whatever the hell they want. go there and fuck with everyone. all be welcome and shit

      • Frank Underboob

        you can’t be censored there.

        Oh sure, which is what people used to say about 4chan, then about 8chan. Look how that worked out.

        • Deadmau5 Patton

          you’re whiney.

          • Frank Underboob

            You think I care what alt-right trolls think of me. So cute!

  • That might be too complicated for the alt-right crew, PSP. Next time try Hulk-speak and finger puppets.

  • AlFromBayShore

    The Left brought the harassment upon themselves and it is absolutely glorious watching them squeal. It’s kinda like punching a fake thug in the face. The moment he’s hit, he melts. The Left is melting.

    • Resistance Fighter Puipui

      You’re Trotski, aren’t you?

    • I AM R U
    • HazooToo

      Stupid Left, actually caring about other people and wanting everyone to be treated equally and not shot in the face for going to the movies or going broke because a loved one got hideously ill or injured, and wanting people to be paid fairly and our planet to not turn into a smoking wreck. WE WERE ASKING FOR IT ALL ALONG! PUNCH ME IN THE FACE, AL! DO IT!

      • AlFromBayShore

        Oh wait! I think your sanctimony has just converted me. WOW! I feel so much better as if a weight has been lifted from my heart. I now see the light! THANX!

        • HazooToo

          Serious question, actually… What is your deal? Are you a troll-at-heart kinda guy, are you a Republican, are you an Alt-Righter, are you one of those people who wants to completely de-regulate everything and trust the free market to do everything for us, what is your bag?

          • AlFromBayShore

            I’m not Alt-Right at all. The only thing I share with them is a disgust towards liberalism and the destructive domestic policies bred by such. It’s one thing to be a Blue Dog Democrat and support “kitchen table” issues but the ascendancy of the Left (descendants of the 60s era “New Left”) have purged nearly all vestiges of moderation from within the Democratic Party. This absence of moderation played a substantive role in the rise of the Alt-Right and various other forms of the “Dissident Right”.

            At the same time though, I do not place all blame on the Left. The GOP establishment allowed the purge of moderation by failing to function as an opposition party. The bit of opposition the presented was pallid and milquetoast. Furthermore, the GOP would often buy into the dishonest critiques of the Left. In Federalist #10, Madison spoke of the need of effective political factions to offset extremism. Herein lies the failure of the GOP. They were never effective and this gave rise to “cuckservative” epithet.

            In summary, I am a harsh critic of both the GOP establishment and the Left. This is the one commonality I have with the Alt-Right. The breakdown within our political discourse inevitably led to this in the same way that persistent socio-economic disparities in America gave rise to organizations like the United Negro Improvement Association and the Nation of Islam.

          • HazooToo

            So, what are the destructive domestic policies? And what do you mean by “moderation” in this discussion? Are you glad Trump won, or are you just glad we lost? What are the dishonest critiques of the Left? What are “kitchen table” issues? Is Donald Trump NOT an example of extremism? Honest questions, I really do not understand where you’re coming from with this disgust.

    • Helene Logan

      Oh Al, We don’t like you–no one does. This is why we never invite you to play in our sandbox, or want you at our birthday parties with all the cake and ice cream. This is why we always groan when you arrive. We’re here to have fun and be with people we actually like, to discuss, to support, to generally engage.
      We don’t go peeing in your hatepool, because we’re not a bunch of sad, lonely bullies who blame everyone else for their financial and personal failings. Why don’t you go home and ask mommy to bake you some cookies, and go post on Breibart about your hero the Orange Mop making America great again or something? LOL

      • AlFromBayShore

        You’re squealing again.

  • Frank Underboob
    • I AM R U

      Urgh :/

  • I AM R U
  • One thing though. Wouldn’t Ben Shapiro be the one threatening to throw Ben Shapiro into an oven?

Previous articleThe Measles Vaccine Has Saved Twenty Million Children! Your Snake Oil Bulletin Good News Edition!
Next articleDemocratic Rep. Tulsi Gabbard Just Met With Donald Trump, So That’s … Neat?