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Sure he's 'pro-life.' But this one was already born, so no big.
Sure he’s ‘pro-life.’ But this one was already born, so no big.

The Gathering of the Trumpalos, and additional news of just how awful they are, continues apace, and so we shouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that there’s a scandal a-brewing around Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke, another Fox News face being considered for a cabinet appointment (maybe Homeland Security, if he can beat out Joe Arpaio, Rudy Giuliani, and Actual Cthulhu). Beyond his belief that Black Lives Matter is a terrorist group, which is a plus in TrumpWorld, there’s only one tiny bump in the road for Clarke: Four people have died in the Milwaukee County Jail since April, one of whom was a newborn baby. That might be a problem, we don’t know anymore. Maybe letting people die in your jail is the kind of refusal to bow to the forces of Political Correctness Donald Trump is looking for.

Clarke’s qualifications for the position of coordinating the nation’s protection against terrorism are obvious. For one thing, he’s on TV, a regular fixture on Fox News. Trump has seen him on the shows, so that’s almost like a job interview right there. Also, Clarke likes Law And Order: in response to the first two days of protests against Mr. Trump’s election, Sheriff Clarke explained on Twitter that the First Amendment doesn’t count when it goes up against the Electoral College count:

david-clarke-protests-twitter

As a showman, Trump must surely appreciate the chootzpah of a guy waving around a copy of the Constitution as part of a call for protests to be “quelled.” Clarke has since clarified that he’s OK with free speech, but not with “riots,” and apparently every single demonstration since the election has been a “riot.”

And just like Donald Trump, Sheriff Clarke is “pro-life,” explaining in 2014 that if Black Lives really Matter, then all the protesters would be marching around outside abortion clinics, since Planned Parenthood is secretly a plot to do genocide to the black community by forcing black women to have abortions they don’t want, or something.

Which brings us back to that baby that died in Sheriff Clarke’s jail. In fairness to Sheriff Clarke, we must note that at least the woman didn’t have an abortion, so he’s probably in the clear from a moral standpoint.

The baby’s mother, Shadé Swayzer, is planning a lawsuit against the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office, claiming jail staff ignored her request for medical help when she went into labor in July. Swayzer was being held in the jail’s “special needs” section in jail due to an unspecified severe mental illess, and was nearly nine months pregnant. Swayzer has had several arrests on charges including burglary, battery, and resisting arrest, so she’s not one of our best people. At the time she went into labor and her baby died, she was jailed on a probation violation, and has since been released.

Her lawyer, Jason Jankowski, filed a “notice of claim” seeking $8.5 million in damages:

[Jankowski] wrote in the notice of claim that Swayzer told a corrections officer her water broke and she was going into labor, but the officer laughed and ignored her. Swayzer said she told the officer that she was going into labor around midnight, gave birth at about 4 a.m., and finally received attention from officers at 6 a.m. Her child was pronounced dead later that day, although it’s unclear at what time.

Ah, but there are two sides to every story — the Sheriff’s Office said in a statement several days after the baby’s death that Swayzer never said nothing about birthing no baby. Also, the company contracted to provide medical care at the jail says the infant was stillborn. Swayzer seems to think otherwise, saying the child was “born alive, cried profusely and was breastfed.” Eh, she’s only a convicted criminal, so probably safest to assume she’s lying, just like all those women who say Donald Trump groped them. In Donald Trump’s America, women lie about pretty much everything. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel says an autopsy was conducted on the child’s body, but no results have been released, possibly because they’re under IRS audit. A spokesperson for Sheriff Clarke said his office would have no further comment either, which is pretty unusual for the voluble law-n-order advocate, who seems to never stop talking on Fox News.

Sheriff Clarke seems to be rather challenged when it comes to keeping prisoners alive. A 2014 investigative report by the Journal-Sentinel found that ten people had died in custody at the Milwaukee County Jail over a four-year period. In April of this year, 38-year-old Terrill Thomas, who suffered from bipolar disorder, died of “profound dehydration” while in the jail’s segregation unit. That death was ruled a homicide by the medical examiner; inmates in nearby cells said Thomas had been begging for water for days before he died. Inmates said the water faucet inside Thomas’s cell had been turned off by corrections officers since he’d been flooding his cell and acting erratically. Guess he learned HIS lesson! Thomas’s death is under investigation by state and federal prosecutors.

Considering Mr. Trump’s promise to bring back torture in the fight against ISIS, we don’t see why letting an inmate die of thirst should be a knock against Sheriff Clarke. Maybe the president-elect will tweet a funny joke about how at least Thomas wasn’t waterboarded, and there’s just no pleasing liberals when it comes to bad guys. You give ’em too much water, it’s torture, you let ’em die of thirst, it’s homicide. Maybe if more people died in jails they’d think twice before being mentally ill.

In addition to the deaths of the newborn and Thomas, there have been two 2016 deaths at the jail since July. Incredibly, virtually no details at all — other than the ages and genders of the dead prisoners — have been released by the Sheriff’s office about the two most recent deaths, in August and late October. In the October case, the Sheriff’s Office wouldn’t even confirm the identity of the dead prisoner. Donald Trump ought to be very impressed by Sheriff Clarke’s ability to keep secrets from America’s true enemies: reporters. And “rioters.”

[Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel via Twitter tip by Derick Willis / The Hill / Journal-Sentinel / Journal-Sentinel]

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  • Ali | Cat of the Resistance

    “Look, you need a token black guy so you don’t look racist.”

    “How about that guy who killed a baby while bitching about how horrible it is to kill babies?”

    “Uh… okay, I guess.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Hey! Twofer!

  • Blacktop Cadence

    “Kid would have been a criminal anyway. Not like those innocent babies we’ll force on mothers who can’t afford to care for them and don’t want them.”

  • lucidamente

    So with Sessions, Flynn, Pompeo, and Giuliani, the Dave Clarke Five is back together.

  • Crystalclear12

    Just makes you proud to be American, don’t it?
    Best case, 2 years before we can hit the brakes.
    Damn.

    • Look Closer

      If the people are any indication, that won’t happen. Amurika: Land of the stupid.

      • Crystalclear12

        And proud of it.

    • Creepoman

      2 years with a brick on the accelerator.

      • Crystalclear12

        And an idiot at the wheel.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Swayzer seems to think otherwise, saying the child was “born alive,
    cried profusely and was breastfed.” Eh, she’s only a convicted criminal,
    so probably safest to assume she’s lying, just like all those women who
    say Donald Trump groped them.

    Well, there you go. That’s pretty much the Partei line of the Drumpfenproles, right there.

    • Oblios_Cap

      “The kid would have just grown up to be a criminal, just like his Mom!”

  • Beowoof14

    The will of the people by actual votes was Hillary so there is reason to protest, what a moron.

    • Blacktop Cadence

      It’s Unconstitutional to protest.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Peaceful assembly? No such thing.

        • Creepoman

          I re-read the 2nd Amendment, and sure enough, it’s not in there.

    • Look Closer

      Can you imagine if the results had been the other way? These fuckers would be burning down everything in sight!

  • SeeTrain65

    If only he gave as much thought to doing his job in a competent manner as he did to promoting his worthless ass.

  • SuspectedDemocrat
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Given that they’re rolling over themselves trying to normalize fascist fucks like Clarke, I don’t think they’re dead.

  • Nounverb911
    • SuspectedDemocrat

      I always thought that question was aimed at his supporters. Like, they want to figure out what minorities have to lose, and take it from them.

  • ArgieBarfie

    Remember when Wingnuts used to complain about Barry’s “Czars,” who all happen to be smart, accomplished, and reasonable people?

    I miss those days.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They were Barry’s. Say no more, say no more, wink wink nudge nudge.

  • lucidamente

    When does Kanye West get tapped for the Civil Rights Commission?

  • Mavenmaven

    We are truly going to learn what rule by the absolute worst will be like.

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Last I checked child birth was actually dangerous to women. Point. Blank. Medical help should have been provided to the inmate.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      She probably said something mean about Trump.

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        I support a woman screaming about Trump or anyone else while in labor!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We are far enough away from women routinely dying in childbirth that people don’t think women ever died in childbirth.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Next you’ll be saying that about opposition leaders being jailed or protestors dying during police interrogation.

      • Vienna Woods

        My grandmother died in childbirth. I never considered anything but a hospital delivery.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          I’m sorry you never met your grandmother. :-(

      • Slavakitty

        Natch. Women who die in childbirth only have themselves to blame. It’s God’s will and everything happens for a reason.
        (I’m kidding, of course. Don’t kill me.)

        • Whale Chowder

          Also, God never hands you anything you can’t handle, so we should admire all those women who handled dying in childbirth.

    • The Devastated Ms. MLG

      830 women die each day from complications from pregnancy and childbirth. Almost all are preventable.

      WHO | Maternal mortality
      http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs348/en/

  • Crystalclear12

    So, how close do we have to get to Biff’s timeline for the Trumpers to realize they screwed themselves?

    • mackafritz

      They never will. It will be Obama’s fault. It has been and will forever be Obama’s fault.

      • Bad Tom

        Well, it can’t be Hillary’s fault anymore.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’ll never figure that out. They never have, and they never will. They know something is wrong, and they refuse to do the analytical work required to figure out what is wrong, it’s easier to just blame Muslins/Mezzikans/ni*CLANGS* for their problems.

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      My step dad thought Biffs timeline in back to the future looked pretty cool.

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      They will never realize it – or if they do, they won’t admit it. Kellyanne Conway would do an interview complaining of how unfair the left and the “liberal media” were being to Donnie from a fallout shelter in the aftermath of a nuclear exchange that Drumpf had personally initiated.

    • Slavakitty

      They won’t think they’ve screwed themselves as long as everyone else is getting screwed even worse.

  • Randy Riddle

    “You got liberal propaganda hiding in those diapers there?”

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Torches, pitchforks and votes. . .

    • Randy Riddle

      Tars and feathers. With votes.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Coat him with honey and votes and stake him out over a fire ant hill at noon.

        • therblig

          why do you hate fire ants?

          • kareemachan

            And why waste honey on him?

  • Creepoman

    Silver Lining Department; When he departs for DC, America’s loss will be Milwaukee’s gain.

    • Nezrite

      My husband said the same thing, probably just as you were typing that.

  • Lizzietish81

    Wait, even if the baby was stillborn they would still be in trouble because they didn’t do anything, which likely would have resulted in a stillborn.

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      Just like a libtard to use reasoning!!!

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      Also, the sheriff’s office statement reads like they didn’t get her medical care at all because they didn’t know she was in labor, so how do they know if the baby was stillborn or not?

    • jesuswasablack

      Yeah but was she blah?

    • HazooToo

      Funny how babies born in a hospital have a much better chance of surviving the birth, and even if the baby still hadn’t survived, they would have had actual proof of that.

  • Being Pro-life means once they pop out of a woman’s vagina, the little shits are on their own and should pull themselves up by their own bootstraps instead of constantly whining and crying for food and other handouts.

    • Oblios_Cap

      If you give them help, they’ll be takers all the rest of their lives.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Give me teats or give me death!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I love asking assholes who want to get all up in my grill about pro life issues exactly how many American babies they’ve adopted. No offense to anyone who is adopting abroad for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is to offer a better life to a child from another country. But for these jerkwads, I’m going to ask that question specifically.

      • Shanana Republic

        I don’t ask them that because it’s never really about babies or children. And adoption isn’t an alternative to not being pregnant. I try to make “pro-life” people confront the fact that they’re advocating for actual real live women to be forced to give birth against their will. When they bleat on about “saving babies” and “speaking for those who have no voice” I remind them that in order to do that they have to go through someone’s vagina.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Oh I totally get where you’re coming from. You aren’t wrong on that.

          • Shanana Republic

            And I wasn’t trying to argue with you or imply that YOUR way isn’t good. I get grr-arrgh about this sometimes.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Hey, no worries! We’re both on the same side. That’s what really counts.

          • Shanana Republic

            I know we are. I’ve been coming across a bit tetchy lately even when I don’t mean to so…

            LET’S GO HAVE ICE CREAM NOW

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            YES! Sprinkles are for winners.

        • Slavakitty

          You’ll never get them to admit to the cognitive dissonance that enables them to hold these views. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was involved with physically preventing “pro-life” demonstrators from creating human blockades to block patients’ access to Planned Parenthood. I saw one woman parading an infant around unprotected from the sun in 90 degree heat; the kid appeared to have heatstroke, but she refused help from the likes of us evil femminazis! They also used a 7-year-old as a battering ram, and kicked my friend down a flight of concrete stairs. This isn’t about protecting the interests of infant human beings. This is about shaming their sinful mothers, even victims of rape (who are no doubt lying about being raped.) Women harbor sin, men embody honor. Women who forget their place need to be reminded of it, by force if necessary.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Terrill Thomas, who suffered from bipolar disorder, died of “profound dehydration” while in the jail’s segregation unit.

    So that’s where they put the blah prisoners?

    • Creepoman

      Jim Crowbar Hotel.

  • crunchyknee

    It’s so great that we live in a post-racist-fascist America. What, wut?

    • Look Closer

      And to make things better…Keebler Elf, Jeff Sessions, has been tapped for Attorney General position! America, what have you done?????

    • kareemachan

      And, and, and…. YOU are racist for thinking that way!!!!1!!

      Or something.

  • The Librarian

    How did this fuckwit get elected/appointed sheriff? He’s one creepy dude.

    • The Wanderer

      Very likely the voters were treated to his indoor voice until he got the job. Now it takes either massive votes or actual, provable malfeasance to oust him.

      • The Librarian

        I hope one of these investigations proves it. No one is safe with that guy waving around a constitution that he doesn’t actually follow.

      • AnOuthouse

        or he gets the job with Trump.

  • calliecallie

    I just can’t even snark to this. When do we wake up from this nightmare?

    • Lizzietish81

      2020?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Let’s be a little more proactive and at least try to stem the bleeding in 2018.

        • OneYieldRegular

          I’m all for stemming the bleeding in 2016. Back to the streets tomorrow.

      • snark-lurker

        if mankind can survive

    • crunchyknee

      Sad thing is, for us olds, probably never.

    • Creepoman

      Oh good, just a nightmare. For a second there, I thought this was real life.

  • Look Closer

    Diversity in the White House will be thrown out the door now. Only white men will run the government, as it should be!

    • therblig

      well, he still needs jews to count the money though, right?

      • Look Closer

        He has one. Jared Kushner!

        • Slavakitty

          Isn’t Michael “Let’s gut her” Cohen also a Jew?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Will you be my neighbor?

    Bystanders do nothing as man dies on RTD bus.

    An Aurora man’s family is asking why no helped him when he suffered a fatal medical emergency on board an RTD bus.

    Video from the April incident shows Bruce Hocker, 63, suffering the medical episode within a minute of boarding the bus in Stapleton. The video shows Hocker breathing heavily, gasping, then slumping over.

    http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/investigations/after-an-aurora-man-dies-on-an-rtd-bus-his-family-asks-why-no-one-helped-him

    • Creepoman

      Fucking people. And as a fellow Coloradoan, I will be your neighbor. Several years ago, near Deckers, we stopped by the river to let the kids skip some rocks and came across a man and his brother and one was in distress (heart attack). Along with four other strangers, we took turns performing CPR for over an hour until a flight for life made it into the canyon. Unfortunately, it didn’t help, but I corresponded with the man’s wife afterwards and she was incredibly grateful that at least we tried.

      • snark-lurker

        i believe in Heroes, oh i do i do i do

    • Señor Skwerl!

      In their defense a drunk/high man sitting on my row of seats did that last night on the train. He later awoke to hit on a couple of students going out to party on Hennepin Avenue.

  • Señor Skwerl!

    I understand that infant had a relative who had been in jail.

  • baconzgood

    So if Trump lost rioting would be a good thing. But protesting should be illegal now he won.

    • Shanana Republic

      If Trump had lost, rioting would be a PATRIOTIC DUTY!

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Forgive me if this politically incorrect but Sheriff Clarke is a double stuff oreo. Definitely in the running to be Trump’s African American

    • mackafritz

      Now that Sleepy Ben decided he wanted no part.

      • kareemachan

        I’m sincerely curious if Sleepy Ben noticed his own cognitive dissonance after running for Prez he then states that he doesn’t have the experience to be in government?

        That made my head hurt.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I’m still betting on the semen-in-the-Starbucks preacher there.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    In any sane world this pompous sociopath, completely indifferent to the suffering of his fellow humans, would not be promoted as a good example on TV, or a bad example, or even an object of ridicule. He would not even be known to the public. He would be in the psychiatric wing of a maximum security prison, indefinitely.

    America has lost its way.

    • The Librarian

      He’s no Sheriff Bart, that’s for sure.

  • CTHULHU LIBELZ!!1!!!1!!!11

    • kareemachan

      Meh, he’s okay with it…

  • Sedagive

    It’s not a crime if law enforcement kills a baby.

    If a woman has a miscarriage, its murder.

    USA! USA! USA!

  • jesuswasablack

    “There’s no legitimate reason to protest the will of the people”
    http://res.cloudinary.com/ratebeer/image/upload/w_250,c_limit/beer_412.jpg

    • TundraGrifter
      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I remember when Jerry went Country, because the rock stations had banned him for marrying that 13 year old…it didn’t last. Saw him with Tammy and The Statler Brothers in Florida (1973) at a fairly small venue. He got into it with the Brothers….

        • TundraGrifter

          Many years ago Jerry Lee Lewis pulled into a gas station, got out, and started pumping his own gas.

          Then he saw a rack of bootleg cassette tapes with his music for sale.

          He tore the rack down and stomped all the tapes into the pavement.

          The gas station attendant asked “Why do I tell the man who sells those tapes?”

          “Tell him Killer was here.”

    • Creepoman
      • jesuswasablack

        Yes but my 32 is premium!

  • mardam422

    People die all the time…everywhere. I mean, if you look at it that way, less people died in the jail that at the hospital. And they actually got to the hospital for HELP!!

  • TundraGrifter

    Sheriff Clarke is one of those idiots who acts all military with the gold stars on his collar and saluting right and left but never got around to actually serving his country in the US Army, Navy, Marines or Air Force.

    He loves to wear a cowboy hat and ride a horse, so he spent some $4,000,000 in government “drug seizure funds” to finance a Sheriff’s mounted posse.

    Proving, once again, there are more horses’ asses than there are horses.

  • FauxAntocles

    It’s such a wonderful country

  • puredog

    And why not? He seems nice.

  • The Devastated Ms. MLG

    Poor David Clarke. We simply cannot know what he’s experienced in regard to reproduction. Maybe he can’t get pregnant, or has suffered miscarriages and it’s traumatic for him to consider that some people just don’t want to have a baby…Wait… Oh, that’s right…men still account for 0% of pregnant people, but men like him think they should control 100% of pregnant people. That math doesn’t quite add up, does it?

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      David Clarke should have a 9 pound watermelon surgically placed in his rectum, and his attempts to “deliver” it should be recorded and put on YouTube for the rest of us to enjoy.

      • The Devastated Ms. MLG

        In a jail cell, alone.

      • therblig

        where does his head go while that’s happening?

        • TJ Barke

          Up Trump’s ass, where else?

  • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

    Question, when do we replace the stars on the flag with swastikas?

    • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

      I’m guessing the latter part of January, 2017.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Oh, they won’t do that. They’ll just swap Old Glory out with the stars and bars.
      Same thing, really though.

  • OneYieldRegular

    So I take it Trump will be appointing him to head the newly formed Ministry of Coercion?

    • Bad Tom

      MiniLove.

  • Bad Tom

    Vote Cthulhu!
    Why settle for the lesser evil?

    • kareemachan

      Why indeed….

  • therblig

    Insane Clownface von Fuckstick Posse!

    • The Devastated Ms. MLG

      Ha!!

  • SessileRaptor

    This feels like background information about a person who eventually ends up at trial in the Hague for war crimes. (If we’re lucky)

    • Joe Beese

      Being an American means never having to stand trial for war crimes.

      Gives you that warm patriotic feeling, doesn’t it?

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Poor Sheriff Clarke – it’s so hard to convince White Nationalists when you’re melanin-enhanced….

  • Blackest Noobs

    so the news is telling us about General Flynn accepting to be Trump’s NSA guy today.
    and it already begins with the media lowering their own integrity…they keep saying Flynn left the Pentagon….WRONG…Dude was FIRED from his job…he didn’t leave he was asked to fucking leave and not let the door hit him on the way out.

    • Mezzaluna

      Would it be wrong to hope that the rest of DoD keeps fucking with him in little, harmless but embarrassing ways?

  • lroom

    These fucking people. I can’t even.

  • Joe Beese

    According to Ian Kershaw’s history of Germany in the final stage of World War II, everyone knew, despite the lies in the newspapers, that defeat was certain, with unimaginable retribution waiting for the country, if one managed to survive to see it.

    A popular joke at the time was something like “I hope to get a coffin for Christmas.”

    Anyway, I just remembered that for some reason.

    • Slavakitty

      Recent events have caused me to experience feelings of foreboding and dread every time I try to watch The World at War. It’s still an excellent series; perhaps too well done for my mental wellbeing.

  • jesuswasablack

    I don’t this guy has what it takes for Homeland, no it’s gonna be this guy:
    https://02varvara.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/01-dick-cheney-chicken-hawk.jpg

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    After all the fun news this morning I decided, fuck it, and had bacon for breakfast. It made me feel better. Probably not the pig, but apparently we’re all going to have to get used to disappointment.

  • reelreeler

    Sheriff Clarke for Prison!!!!! (meme fun that I learned from the Trump Trash)

    • TundraGrifter

      He’s already sporting the Prison Pussy.

      • snark-lurker

        that’s a shock azorber for a high-speed cock-sucker

        • TundraGrifter

          Isn’t that pretty much the same thing?

  • mardam422

    Just wondering how long it will take the schadenfreude from the inevitable blowback from all the scandals/incompetence/idiocy to balance out the shock and disappointment we’re all feeling now? Maybe an over/under pool?

    • anwisok

      That depends. Is there going to BE any blowback?

      • Mezzaluna

        Maybe I’m being irrationally pessimistic but I keep feeling think this is the beginning of the end. First divide any allies and pit them against each other, then ignore all scandals and make them the new normal. If that works, resume ghettoizing minority groups and certain religions. Finally the rest of Handmaid’s Tale can unfold. All the while, breed the stupid in and take the education out.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    So……in other news. The Brits are going to spend a half a billion dollars to refurb Buckingham palace. Trump envy?

  • The Devastated Ms. MLG

    Women giving birth behind bars of any kind seems like a fucked-up concept, period. Maybe it’s just me.

    • Vincent Ricola

      We have to do it, otherwise probation violators will turn our towns into post-apocalyptic hellscapes and bring on massive economic anxiety. Horrific stories of babies dying in jail cells is just the price we pay to keep women in line for freedom.

    • anon_the_great

      Especially sick women. Sick women should be giving birth in a hospital. That is normal. Anything else is an evil aberration.

    • Shanana Republic

      In most states, it’s still legal to shackle women who are in labor.

      • The Devastated Ms. MLG

        Digusting, but not surprising.

  • Objectifer

    He sure has a lot of badges on his shirt. That must make him a moral authority.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Badges?BADGES???? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges……Trump Police

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bringing the bling. He’d fit right in.

      https://i.imgur.com/dw8F7nT.jpg

      • therblig

        i bet those guys avoid bodies of water like crazy

        • Spurning Beer

          And magnets.

    • TundraGrifter

      His boss told him he wasn’t wearing enough flair and he got the message.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Uncle Ruckus for Homeland Security it is then!

  • Bub the Mad Zombie

    One of these men was a General of the Army, one of only five men to hold the rank in the United States Army, and was Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe that defeated Nazi Germany. The other is a vainglorious, racist, misogynist asshole. Can you tell which is which?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8bcc5ad09af903b5e0c79f05b46a7a115784e7534309d516009f30bf02b2b227.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5604abb0d5653e7d1f914c5d2dae138789ae5c783ceb521c6605a0627b7054fd.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      I have to put my trust in the guy wearing more medals.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie
        • Objectifer

          Sleeves, pant legs, wow. Those are some heroic mo’fo’s.

          • Joe Beese

            If they were any more valorous, they would be completely sealed in metal. Like Iron Man.

          • Bad Tom

            Battle ready!
            Except in a thunderstorm.

          • Bad Tom

            And yet the hats are completely bare.
            WTF up with that???

          • Oblios_Cap

            Plus, they get to eat real food.

        • therblig

          c’mon, they can’t all be employee of the month

          • Beanz&Berryz

            There are 12 months every year…

        • Foreign Agitator Ron

          Wow. You wouldn’t need guns to defeat them, just a couple of big magnets.

    • Joe Beese

      O/T: The thing that suprised me about Eisenhower when I started reading histories of World War II was learning how much of his job as Supreme Commander had entailed smoothly managing the many conflicting personalities among the top ranks of the Allies.

      It must have provided invaluable political training for his later presidency, of a kind that Grant never had the chance to benefit from.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie

        It was a challenge at times. Montgomery, Patton and Bradley in particular made things difficult, especially Monty. Ike was not a great general in the sense of strategic grasp or operational brilliance. He delegated, he managed and he kept his prickly subordinates in line for the most part. It was a very difficult job, and it’s hard to think of anyone else who could have done it as well as him.

        • Joe Beese

          We were lucky he was there when history needed him.

          Heh… Monty. What a douche.

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            Capable, professional and insufferable.

            Brian Horrocks: “I knew him by reputation. … Except with those who had served under him [he was] not a popular figure.”

    • Zakes Mokae is still around?

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Count the medals. A real leader doesn’t need to puff up his ego with bits of tin.
      https://i2.wp.com/fusion.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/161010-trump-dictator.png?resize=1600%2C900&quality=80&strip=all

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And so Donnie, being Donnie, goes for ribbons and braids…

    • Rise Up, Demme!

      aw, man!
      isn’t one bloated narcissist enough?

  • medcannabis1

    fascism comes in many skin tones….

  • Mpeg

    Wonk overlords, Can y’all please cut out the auto-play “Kong” ads FFS? I’m at work! Jeebers….

    • Joe Beese

      Needs an overlay of Axl screaming “You know where you are??”

  • Michael Smith

    “Actual Cthulhu” seems to me to be the obvious choice, given the other candidates. At least Cthulhu knows when to stay out of sight. Plus, he’s very into marine conservation issues.

    • Bad Tom

      And then there’s his ropy tentacles.
      Mmmmmmm.

      • Foreign Agitator Ron

        What kind of rope? I hope it’s not that nasty polypropylene stuff.

        • Bad Tom

          Only the best premium hemp for C-Man’s ropy tentacles.
          ——-
          “Man” is interpreted a bit loosely for Cthulhu.

    • Joe Beese

      A patient sense of timing.

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for Shub Niggurath, “The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young,” myself.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • anwisok
    • Joe Beese

      He’s a right vicious bastard, these days.

  • TJ Barke

    It’s not the will of the people if most of the people didn’t fucking vote for him, you fascist piece of shit.

    • therblig

      didn’t you get your State of Texas History Book yet? 99% voted for Trump, the other 1% were thrown out for voter fraud.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I pointed that out to him on the Twatters. I await his response with interest.

  • theblackdog

    Why do I get this sick feeling he’ll be appointed to the Civil Rights division of the DOJ or working for ICE?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    What’s a good breakfast beer?

  • bookish

    Delighted to hear some folks are getting annoyed by the anti- trump protests. Gives me motivation to continue.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I also too saw and liked the idea posted that we should all sign on to the Muslim registry…

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Ms. Thinker and I are anxiously awaiting our opportunity to sign up. We are hoping that the badges are a nice, red crescent. If not red, grey or black would be good.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I just reminded my daughters of the our Muslim heritage that I might have once told them about for when the Registry comes out…

          • Skeptical_thinker

            The fact that Ms. Thinker is the daughter of a Cantor might confound the Muslin Inspector, assuming that said MI can think.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I’d expect nothing better than some gauzey thinking our government’s MIs

      • cheetojeebus

        I recently did the NatGeo DNA thingy. Seems my ancient ancestors moved through Iran and thereabouts. So I’m in! coooool.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    What pathetic little man of a cop needs four fucking stars on his shoulders as a sheriff? Four fucking stars. Sheriff. 250 cops in Milwaukee County. A good-sized company in the Army. Led by a captain, who doesn’t have no fucking four stars on his shoulders. Or hers.

    • We are under the thumb of the Star-Bellied Sneeches, who got stars upon thars!

      • Jennifer R

        That was always my favorite Seuss book as a child.

  • Spurning Beer

    I never liked his band, the Dave Clark Five, either.

  • Objectifer

    It’s Gonna Be A ‘Dead Baby In the Jail Cell’ Kind Of Day
    Indeed.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    I’m amused that Deputy Fife feels the need to wear more medals that a General.

  • jodyleek

    Whenever I see this guy I think of the black Nazi in Mother Night. Vonnegut was a master of satire. Unfortunately, as Lewis Black observed, we are now at the intersection of reality and satire. The monsters from the pages of fiction have come to life. Expect the zombie hoards any day now.

    • Hardly Ideal

      If even our wildest fiction is becoming fact…

      Be right back. I need to furiously write some Warcraft fanfiction involving tender lesbians melting swords and rifles into plows and paper clips.

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      Too late. The zombie hordes came out on the 8th and voted Republican.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    Looks like I picked the wrong Friday to try to refrain from daytime drinking.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      There might be a good Friday for that 208 Fridays from now…

  • Bub the Mad Zombie

    I just came across this quote of Eisenhower on Sen. McCarthy:

    This guy McCarthy is going to get into trouble over this. I’m not going to take this one lying down… He’s ambitious. He wants to be President. He’s the last guy in the whole world who’ll ever get there, if I have anything to say.

    Wonder what Ike would have thought of Drumpf?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trumplandians and the WooWoo Rightie howler mob aided by FUX News are always trying to find that Black Face that will legitimize their views and Clarke just happens to be that person.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      More likely to kill than Ben Carson and far faster than Herman Cain’s pizza would cause heart disease

    • Rise Up, Demme!

      bring on alan west!

      • cynmac will never surrender

        Allen Keys too! So many Allens!

  • azeyote

    sounds like trumps kinda guy

  • Foreign Agitator Ron

    Note to self: do not run a red light in Milwaukee.

    FFS

    • OrG

      Note to self:stay the fuck away from Milwaukee. FIFY

  • MynameisBlarney

    I think he needs more flair on his uniform.

  • Snicker Haha

    Geez! Yr Wonkers don’t get it. People dying in Clarke’s jail will never be a problem for him. It’s part of his manifesto and he’s proud of it. It’s the next step to his black site ovens.

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

    It should also be noted too that Clarke was honored as Sheriff of the Year by the CSPOA:

    http://archive.jsonline.com/watchdog/noquarter/bicecol16-7l9v73c-207614191.html

    • louça louca

      I first read that acronym as cesspools of America. Not far off, I see.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Dead nuts on, actually.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    There is no legitimate reason to block the will of the people

    Yo, Sheriff Clarke? The majority of the people voted for Hillary. Why are you blocking our will, asshole?

    /FFS

    • zerosumgame0005

      like keeping babies alive after they get out of mommy’s va-jay-jay, maths are optional you hippie-livin’-in-the-commune!

    • Benjamin Clark

      Before the election, Sheriff Clarke called for protests with “pitchforks and torches” if Donald Trump didn’t get elected.,

      • Judy H

        Weird. Pitchforks & torches, are ok, but protests with signs & chanting are riots.
        Those damn goalposts just keep moving with these guys.

        • Rickyphoo

          These people have to concept of hypocrisy.

  • WiscoJoe

    Well, according to my Trump-loving Catholic Aunt, as long as the baby died after it was born, (but not while it was still in the womb), it’s perfectly okay, because that means the baby gets to go to heaven and it’s all part of God’s plan because once the baby is out of the womb God can do anything He wants with it, like deny it access to healthcare, or drop bombs on it, or subject it to a sociopathic criminal justice system. Just no abortions.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      God is Great

    • Paul

      IIRC unless that baby was baptized it is going to Purgatory, not heaven. Ask auntie how the fuck that is fair. Also suggest she brush up on the rules.

      • WiscoJoe

        Oh, right. Dead babies go to limbo, but aborted babies go to hell. But also if you whisper some magic words in the babies ear right before they die then they go to heaven. IDK, it got really convulted the more she explained the rules. All you need to know is that abortion is bad, but poverty, war, and a broken criminal justice system are all just part of God’s plan and it would be sacriligious to change that. Just no abortions.

        • doktorzoom

          As I recall, the church got rid of limbo a few years ago. Not gonna look it up, tho.

          • WiscoJoe

            No need to look anything up. All you need to know is that abortion is the only issue that matters, so vote Republican always. It’s best if you don’t question…

          • Shanana Republic

            If there’s just re-writing things at random, couldn’t they get rid of Hell as well while they were at it?

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            It did, but the concept had been a theoretical one from the start. It was used to resolve issues around the death and non-baptism of infants. Theologically, it set them aside from others and assumed this could not be judged or evaluated in any way by humans, but could by a Supreme Being. So, rather that tie themselves in knots trying to explain it, theologicians (St Augustine) define it as a set they cannot know.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      As a recovering Catholic…it’s nonsense like this that turned me Atheist!

  • Bitter Scribe

    He should be fired just for being a black guy from Milwaukee who tweets pictures of himself in a cowboy hat.

  • HogeyeGrex
    • Hardly Ideal

      Cute, but not helping. Call me an asshole, but the existence of adorable creatures doesn’t change the fact that everything is awful.

      • Sister the Resister!

        true. but still, a distraction….

      • Sekhmet1

        I know. Even my actual cats aren’t helping much at the moment.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      To fit those cats with long earz

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    JFC, this guy can’t even run his on f-ing jail, and that is basically his only real job (unless his folks are delivering subpoenas, someone from America’s Dairyland will know more).
    His re-election campaign will be …. interesting?

  • BrianW

    Clearly, once President Tr. . . (yeah, that guy; I still can’t say it) gets the BBCA (Bitches Be Crazy Act) passed, all these pesky woman troubles will go away. So no worries!

  • Markuserektus

    He puts one in mind of past dictators with all of that metal hanging on his uniform.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I’d like to call him “general” to his face…

      • phoenix00

        “Generalissimo”

        Or will he take that as a compliment?

  • Panika MCD

    I covered a TX House County Affairs hearing on Wednesday where they were talking about CJ reform and a good portion was spent on how about 80% of our deaths in custody over the past decade have been due to withdrawal and detox symptoms (also how isolating suicidal people is fucking stupid) and they were hoping that under Trump’s call for renewed high funding of law enforcement, they could come up with plans for our various communities to, you know, not have so many of those–especially in the rural areas where they don’t have a lot of money to have a doctor in the jail or transport those who need professional supervision. it was the saddest notion ever because it’s just never going to happen.

    • cheetojeebus

      And I suppose the official response will be “I don’t see a problem here?”

  • chascates

    Shit like this is not going to help the opioid addiction problem our country has. Even before he takes office we’ll have to endure every rightwing lunatic being trotted out as an addition to Orange Julius Caesar’s administration. I’m going to try to find some poppy seeds myself.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    “The Gathering of the Trumpalos” almost made me spit out my coffee…thanks for the much needed chuckle, Dok :)

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    All together now: he seems nice!

  • Mom is in for a probation violation so the baby gets a death sentence. Yep, that’s the kind of Tough Love Trumpoons swoon over.

    • Rickyphoo

      The baby was no longer covered under the GOP’s Pro-Life umbrella as he had already passed through the mother’s vagina.

      After the birth, the GOP stance is: “Tough luck, kid, you are on your own.”

  • Nodrama4mama

    Where are the great whores and rent boys of this nation? Do none of them have pictures or videos of these people kicking a puppy while wearing a diaper or something like it?

  • Pookabun

    The couple of riots I’ve been to since the election were very terrible: there were cheerful little kids, a guy carrying an actual one of those fluffy weiner dogs and free soup from Hale and Hearty (so support them!). But we walked and shouted stuff so riot I guess.

  • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

    Call your Congress critter, people, and politely demand they refuse to confirm Trump’s clown college.

    https://www.congress.gov/members

  • Benjamin Clark

    David Clarke is to the right of Rush Limbaugh, but he runs for Sheriff of Milwaukee County as a Democrat.

  • H0mer0

    he has an intensity of gaze that reminds me of Samuel L Jackson, [MOFO!]

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