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Hi there, Wonketariat! Boy howdy, do we have some dick jokes to make today! Here are only SOME of the stories we might be talking about later!

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  • beingreleased

    Trump will meet with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, and likely embarrass the entire country when he mispronounces Abe’s name

    “Ya know, we had a President Abe once. Terrible guy. Started a huge war. So unpopular. I have way more twitter followers than he did.”

    • Pissed de Résistance

      Come on over here little fella, and let Donald show you how a Republican barfs on you Japanese big wigs…

  • Me not sure

    I think I saw the ghost of William Shakespeare near the back of the Trump press pool furiously taking notes.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Guessing that the cost of that child’s dress was equivalent to the full annual wage of the Chinese factory slave who made it.

    • ThirdAmendmentMan

      Annual wage? Try a decade.

  • mancityhombres

    Re the tweeter thing:
    “I am alive physically but digitally speaking there has been execution squads across the alt right,” he said. “There is a great purge going on and they are purging people based on their views.”
    Sounds like someone needs a little remedial help with the first amendment.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Yanno, I thought the drinking-from-a-firehose pace of insanity would die down a little after the election. Now I realize we have barely scratched the surface of the truly insane layer underneath. It’s rabid weasels all the way down.

    • I handcuff my backpack to my arm so that when I take the L train to school in the mornings I can take naps. I do this because it’s the only 20ish minutes a day I can sneak in a nap.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        We thank you for your dedication and commitment.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        It’s really hard to protect your stuff on the L since they turned all the goddamned seats sideways.

    • Delu

      Why did you think the insanity would die down after the elections?

      I expected that it would get worse no matter who wins, that’s because the source of the insanity….is American people.

      Last I heard they haven’t gone extinct yet, so yeah, the insanity will continue.

      • FauxAntocles

        Why didn’t the conservaturds just stay in the damn trees?
        The rest of us would have been exploring other galaxies by now.

        • Delu

          They don’t believe that evolution is a thing that’s why.

          The religious ones that is.

          • Foreign Agitator Ron

            Hey, if they refused to evolve that would be fine with me. But they’re not stopping US.

          • bupkus23

            The rest of them are a) too stupid to understand the concept, and/or b) too arrogant to believe they’re ignorant.

      • laughingnome

        The insanity will continue until cognitive impairment improves.

      • dshwa

        It’s still early in the day. Give them time.

    • ThirdAmendmentMan

      I mean he hasn’t even gotten to grab the Executive Branch by the pussy and it’s already a shitshow. He hasn’t gotten past taking it furniture shopping!

    • Erala Contratista

      Hmm, thought you wrote “inane”. Works either way, donnut?

  • memzilla (Maquis Uni)

    Incompetrump.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Best coinage of the decade.

    • BadKitty904

      Very nice, Mem!

    • Delu

      Just Trumplike.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Trumpdellyicious!

    • You are the only good thing about 2016. Especially as you also brought us ” Hoofwanking Bunglecunt”

      • memzilla (Maquis Uni)

        Thanks awfully, mate. I am slowly refilling my snark reservoir.

    • folderol

      An outbreak of contrumption is plaguing the nation!

    • Noxious1

      Ooooyea.
      Miriam Webster’s next word of the year.

    • NotReallyHere

      …shall deliver Orangemageddon unto us.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Surely there is a place for Pat Buchanan in Trump’s administration.

    • beingreleased

      “We take white supremacists of all shapes and sizes. We’re diverse that way.”

    • sw19headlessvoteperson

      Secretary of Butterfly Ballots.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Secretary of the 1950s.

  • Mike Steele

    After much thought, have decided I’d rather see the PDB delivered daily to Subway Jared’ in his cell, than to young Mr. kushner.

    • Mpeg

      “PDB”?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Presidential Daily Briefing.

        • Mpeg

          Man, I need to go back and watch “West Wing” reruns some more..

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Does that mean someone has to put his underpants on for him?

      • Painter of Goats

        Personal Daily Beating?

      • Mike Steele

        Presidential Daily Briefing, for which Trump will obviously need an official ‘splainer.

  • starfanglednut

    Serious question: what happens if there’s a national emergency and trump in NYC in his stupid penthouse and not in the White House? I know there must be standard procedure for presidential vacations and the like, but how are the gonna have that stuff in place for every single weekend?

    • Delu

      Like how Bush was not in the Whitehouse when 9/11 happened.

      Seriously though, just let Trump be Trump.

      It’s the best way to let everyone see what the Trump Presidency would REALLY be like.

      • sw19headlessvoteperson

        It would be nothing like Bush. For one thing, Dubya can actually read.

        • Ooo, bar cleared!

          • sw19headlessvoteperson

            They are both in mental limbo.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Serious response – look for Trump to demand that the apparatuses (apparati?) of national security be installed in Trump Tower and on his plane (which will become the new Air Force 1). He will then charge the American people every time he uses them. This is also part of facism – where a country is a brand and the leader becomes the sole brand ambassador.

    • beingreleased

      True story: Once, after 9/11, a small plane veered into White House airspace. The White House was evacuated, jets were scrambled, etc. Bush was off on a bike ride and not told about it until after the All Clear was given.

      • Mezzaluna

        They were worried that it would be a reply of the My Pet Goat incident and he would try to ride the bike backwards.

      • TheoLib

        I remember that. With those newfangled things called radio and cellphones, you’d think the Secret Service out with him had communications with their colleagues in the White House, but apparently not.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        That was probably a good decision.

    • Crystalclear12

      If there is national emergency and Trump can’t be found I would say our chances of surviving said emergency just increased.

      Man, I wish that was a joke.

    • jodyleek

      He’s going to have an exact replica created of the Oval Office in tRump tower. Then, when he addresses the nation from the Oval Office we won’t really know where he is.

      • BackDoorMan

        … and since he doesn’t know where he is (on a good day), this will probably work out really well for everybody.

    • laughingnome

      There is a national emergency commencing Jan. 20th and Trump will be in the vicinity of the White House.

      • BackDoorMan

        … perhaps at the Old Post Office, granting an audience, at taxpayer expense, taking the Oath Of Office while giving out Ambassador Discount coupons if they stay at his over-priced ho’tel? Sounds positively Trumpian to me…

  • Crystalclear12

    What pisses me off is this shit isn’t new but covering Clinton’s emails was soooo important that they didn’t cover this.

    There’s my morning cup of incoherent rage, right where I left it!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Over the weekend I went to a party where I was the only straight, white American male. We had a good laugh about it. It didn’t need a gun. I didn’t scream for them to go back from where they came. Just had a good time with beautiful people from the 4 corners of the globe.

    • sw19headlessvoteperson

      Weirdo.

    • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

      FALSE FLAG!!!!11!!11!!! No REAL AMrecian wuold goto a patry wiht forinners

    • MynameisBlarney

      Obviously, this means you hate ‘Merka.

    • That is so pre-11/9.

    • You are not American! Blobfish aren’t American!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Ya hear that Ted Cruz?

      • Mezzaluna

        I don’t think they are really even fish. I personally question their existence because god would never make something so silly looking. runs away giggling.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Pfft, your alt right membership has been revoked.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      Didja get lucky?

      • nightmoth

        Mr, Blobfish is already lucky.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Were you drinking cosmopolitans?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I bet you were also the worst-dressed guy there.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        That prize went to the Aussie.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Dear God….he wasn’t wearing one of those horrible “bush hats”, was he?

    • folderol

      Last time that happened to me, I was at work.

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      Did they hate you for your freedoms or is that no longer a thing?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        They had the same reaction to the election that we did: What the fuck is wrong with America?

        • BackDoorMan

          … that seems to be the prevailing sentiment around the globe – my life partner is German and shares with me Der Spiegel, Stern, etc. articles and they can’t figure it out either. It’s so bad, we’re considering cancelling our annual trip to NYC for the German-American Steuben Parade. Heartbreaking – we’ve gone for years.

  • Foreign Agitator Ron

    What has the world come to when you can’t even enjoy a quiet drink in the local beer hall?

    • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

      Lots of putsching and shoving?

      • Pissed de Résistance

        Let the valet park the coup for you.

        • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

          I did nazi that coming.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Ach du lieber!

    • MynameisBlarney

      An end?

  • sw19headlessvoteperson
    • Hey…what’s my brain doing there?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      This is your brain. THIS is your brain on drugs!

      • Mezzaluna

        I wish.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Don’t worry about the press access. It will all be covered on the Daily Stormer.

  • Edita Espinosa (Edith Prickly)

    I think I’ve moved past the fear of a fast and efficient takover of the government – now I’m just afraid of what’s going to happen when the next bombing or natural disaster happens and none of these clowns will have any fucking clue what to do.

    • sw19headlessvoteperson

      They’ll declare that they’ll be glad when it’s all over and they can get their own life back.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Of course they’ll know what to do!
      Pass the buck to some poor SOB and blame him or her for the inevitable clusterfuck.

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        Heckuva job, Brownie!

    • FauxAntocles

      Blame Obama!

      • Mezzaluna

        Blame the people who built their houses where ever the thing happened. Unless they were rich and then it’s a tragic loss.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Dip into the National Strategic Reserve of thoughts and prayers, per GOP SOP.
      Good thing we have the reserve, given the expected absence of thoughts or prayers in the White House.

    • haroldpp

      They will fall back on their super power of blaming Obama (see Ryan already saying it is Obamacare’s fault he has to take away Medicare) as well as the the nifty skill of stoking racial resentment. Good Times!

  • Vincent Ricola

    Michael Flynn scares me as much, if not more, than Donald Trump.

    • Me not sure

      His management style while at the DIA was described by old hands there as “chaotic”. Thus, his removal from that position by the President.

    • beingreleased

      It’s sort of like an Echer painting: A scares me more than B. B scares me more than C. C scares me more than D. A scares me more than D.

    • Oblios_Cap

      They sure seem to like cozying up to dictators, don’t they?

  • BosGrl

  • CountryClubRefugee

    Mrs. Pence needs to get her marketing team to get those Towel Charms more media coverage. The overstock might have to be used to microchip Muslims or something.

  • FauxAntocles

    So will the West Wing go with the Monkees’ zany chase scene motif or Benny Hill’s as they go about their business of making Murka great?

    • Pissed de Résistance

      More titties in Benny Hill, sooooo….

    • Painter of Goats

      “Hail to the Chief” will be replaced with “Yakety Sax”.

      • sw19headlessvoteperson

        Better that than the Star Wars theme…

        No, not that one, this one:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWO5Ai_a80M

        • Kateaux

          Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes libelz! (in suggesting that their music would be appropriate for the Drumpfenmeister)

    • The Wanderer

      The casino fight scene from the original Casino Royale.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN3xZAq1gfQ

    • jodyleek

      Yakitty Sax seems fitting, no?

  • The Wanderer

    The dik-dik and the pudu are the cutest deer in the world.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Trump Administration is going to make Grant’s look positively squeaky-clean.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      Both Commanders-in-Thief.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Grant was used by assholes, too.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      And Grant kicked the fuck out of the racist traitors. He gets a pass.

  • Mavenmaven

    The Trump team will make Bush’s failed New Orleans response look a high efficiency machine.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      At least he has his own jet to fly over in.

    • Rise Up, Demme!

      that’s one helluva low bar, maven.

      • Mavenmaven

        and yet he, with his whole team. will easily limbo under it .

        • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

          Limbo or slither?

  • Shan

    Nothing cuter than a bouncy-bouncy dik-dik!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    From a guy who thinks the Great Pyramids were grain storage silos, that’s pretty astute.

  • nightmoth

    I experienced an odd deja vu yesterday when I went into town. I found I was looking at older white people, of whom I am one, very suspiciously. I finally remembered that it was how I looked at people after the Kent State killings and the poll came out showing that 80% of Americans supported the students being shot. For weeks, I would look at people unkindly and think, “Are you one of them?”

    • Pissed de Résistance

      It’s fucking Ohio. Probably 80% of the students supported the students being shot.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      My brother has taken to speaking only in Spanish to white people in public that he doesn’t know….just to gauge where they stand.

      • eyelashviper

        Good idea, just stand back a bit, the spittle may fly.

      • Pissed de Résistance

        ¡Bueno!

      • Bear OmNomNom

        Might as well make it goofy while you’re at it. “Me llamo Cornholio. ¡Necesito papel de baño para mi colita!”

    • Yr. Gma

      I know what you mean.

  • Mezzaluna

    OT but a week late I just realized we’re stuck with Issa too. FUUUUUUUUCKKKKK

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      I know.

    • Yr. Gma

      Did they finish the count?

      • Mezzaluna

        I don’t know for sure. All I saw after a quick Google search said he was re-elected and didn’t mention the count. I hope I’m wrong.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Donald will look like Baron Harkonnen before his first year is completed.

    • Me not sure

      He’ll have to compete with Bannon, who has a huge head start, for that honor. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0c2380a7e7b7d6b4c8f8151604637b8c80e6855707468df6bdb3d37ab6a7785a.jpg

      • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

        If I had a drunken racist lout for an uncle, that is how I would picture him.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          Funny enough, that’s how his nieces and nephews picture him too!

        • Me not sure

          I don’t think that a person who has obviously never heard of a steam iron should be in a position of power.

          • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

            He’s dressed for a beer hall putsch.

        • Yr. Gma

          I do have a racist lout for an ex-brother-in-law, and that’s just about right.

      • Crank Tango

        Hey, he looks pretty healthy for a cadaver.

    • I thought about that. You can watch every President visibly age while in office. Gonna be interesting to see him disintegrate.

  • Randy Riddle

    “Hopefully he won’t be the second Republican to vomit all over a foreign head of state.”

    Bookies ain’t even trying to take bets on this one.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      What’s the over/blunder?

    • idiokratischtrumpenjugend

      Perhaps Prime Minisister Abe will have the opportunity to puke on Trump.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        He would be a global hero.

    • sw19headlessvoteperson

      The first one to drop trou and take a shit, maybe…

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Remember how that young woman who failboated so badly trying to ratfuck for our friends at Project Veritas over the summer was a Westchester County local from a Republican political family? Well, by some remarkable coincidence, Project Veritas is ratfucking union negotiations in Yonkers.

  • Apple Scruff

    As far as the press pool goes, it’s shitty, yes. But then again, the press are to blame for this presidential mess. YOU BREAK IT YOU BUY IT, ASSHOLES.

    (#notallpress obvs)

    • sw19headlessvoteperson

      Mommyblogs and recipe hubs get a hall pass.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m actually feeling pretty sanguine about the reporters from the Times, Politico, NBC, Fox and CNN getting pantsed on the regular, although I feel badly for Katie Tur.

      • Apple Scruff

        YEP! I don’t think Katy Tur is covering Trump anymore. I think Kristen Welker is the new White House Correspondent which is delish because she’s a mini Andrea Mitchell.

        • PubOption

          Welker has more teeth.

  • laughingnome

    So now we can make tiny dik dik jokes?

    • The Wanderer

      Si, se puede!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Can we not talk about Trump for even a minute?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Tiny dik dik vulgarian.

  • Greyhame

    And the background checks for everyone’s security clearances have not even begun in earnest, I suppose.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      James Comey will sign off on those after lunch.

      • Greyhame

        Well that’s reassuring.

        • sw19headlessvoteperson

          That’s there’s an outside chance he might get food poisoning during lunch and therefore be unable to complete the task?

          *with votes, somewhere, if applicable.

      • Rise Up, Demme!

        speaking of james comey…
        everytime the fbi is mentioned in a movie or tv show, (which is a lot), i roll my eyes and think suuuuuuure.
        i wonder how long that will last.
        permanent?

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        For real?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      What I find rich is that all of Trump’s cabinet appointments will be required to release their tax forms as part of the vetting process.

      • BackDoorMan

        … oh, sure, they have to, but Trumpty Dumpty doesn’t. Why does this Vulgar Talking Yam (h/t Charlie Pierce) get away with this?

    • BeachBum

      I, for one, have no doubt whatsoever that, for the good of our country, our noble, esteemed, non-partisan and highly moral FBI Comey will do complete and thorough background checks.
      After everyone is highly recommended, Comey will then retire, and surprisingly move to a chateau on the Black Sea.

  • eyelashviper

    Well, Trumplethinskin was right about one thing…IT’S RIGGED!
    This article about how the exit polls differ from vote count, only in areas where it really mattered:

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/11/something-stinks-when-exit-polls-and-official-counts-dont-match/

  • AnOuthouse

    Tiny dik-dik Melanoma’s nickname for Donald’s …

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Restaurants save the crappiest steaks for the dope who orders it well done.

    • MynameisBlarney

      LOL

      If your server asks how you like your Filet Mignon cooked, always answer with “There’s only ONE way to cook a Filet”.

      • jowgajen

        If they ask you that, leave or change your order.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Naw, they have to ask that, because some folks don’t know squat about steaks.
          When I said that to my waitress, she was like, “My man!” and then we fist bumped.

          Needless to say, that steak was perfection. Could just about cut with a fork.

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        Beat it with the edge of a plate, dip it in batter, deep fry it and top it with gravy!

        You do live in Texas, don’t you?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Aw hell naw!
          South Floriderp!

        • BeachBum

          Texas Motto ” Where we cook foods like chicken that are actually not chicken.”

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Well, not much to taste anyway. I think well-done was really common with an older generation that did not trust the food prep. Probably not without reason. They wanted it that way and their kids came to eat it that way.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      As it should be!

    • phoenix00

      For the vegetarians who want the meat cooked out.

  • dshwa

    The inmates really are running the asylum now.

  • bookish

    One week in, and the Trump administration is already a cesspool.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      They were a cesspool before they were an administration.

  • Panika MCD

    here’s a fun one, former TX SBOE member Cynthia Dunbar (one of the two that were ousted in the 2010 primary partially because they wanted to put a John McNaughton coffee table book in the US history curriculum) testified yesterday on her company’s racist Mexican-American history text book and said, “I do believe it’s a political and ideological fight. It’s a fight we’ve seen on this board along party lines a lot of times.” because, sure, let’s have an ideological fight in a book that’s supposed to be based on fact while telling Hispanic students that they are lazy because of their skin color. she also said she would sue the state if they did not adopt the text–which they’re not expected to–today.

    http://kut.org/post/state-education-board-vote-controversial-mexican-american-studies-textbook

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    Bet Trump is one of those asshole, cunt %10 tippers which he grudgingly signs for after being a total dick to staff from the minute he walks in the door until he finally leaves. BTW, burger and fries at “21”, $36. A steak is between $60-70. A Caesars salad–essentially lettuce–costs 18 bucks. He was cheered when he walked in, not by a crowd of his supporters, but rather by the people they work for.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I doubt he even leaves 10%. I spent more time as a hostess or bartender than a server, but I was always pals with the servers and I’ve worked in enough restaurants to know the type.

    • Yr. Gma

      Trump doesn’t do mundane stuff like pay the bill. He has staff.

  • Rise Up, Demme!

    awwww…
    poor press.
    (fuck ’em.)

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

    The new spin is that alt-right is actually liberal. And liberals are the ones who have been making all of the racist comments the past two years. Welcome to the Twilight Zone.

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      If Trump caused a nuclear war, Kellyanne and co. would still be labouring mightily, with the help of Fox News, to put a positive spin on things.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Reading this made me actually, literally cry from frustration and anger.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      “See? Milo’s a ghey and we didn’t kill him! That makes us lib’rul!”

  • Ghenghis McCann
    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      Suits me.

    • phoenix00

      Make America Shoot Itself Again

  • Ryan Denniston

    “BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Giuliani’s own firm took money from foreign governments to lobby for other unsavory folks, like Qatar and the developers of the Keystone XL oil pipeline.”

    Fucking projection strikes again. I’m telling you all, all that talk about FEMA camps has me a little worried!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Trump: Hello PM Shinzo “Honest” Abe… nice to meet you…

    • cat cafe

      Laughed out loud. “Hey, where’s your stovepipe hat? Shinzo, is that a Jewish name?”

  • Bill Slider

    The 21 Club, or whatever’s the official
    name of that restaurant where The Donald and his almost First Wife went to dinner in NYC, was once the bees’ knees of Manhattan night life. I am having difficulty remembering when it was the hot taco place to go, because it was light years ago. It might have been Kennedy’s presidency, or perhaps Nixon’s. Definitely, it was pre-Wonkette, which means it isn’t important. I wonder if they serve Trump steaks and cater to people with small hands?

    • Melinda Piette

      Now it’s just one of those overpriced NYC restaurants rich people/tourists inexplicably go to because it’s a place to be seen—-like the Four Seasons, Elaine’s, any Harry Cipriani location, Sign of the Dove, etc. Ironic, since there’s way better food (obviously) to be had elsewhere.

      Back in my waitressing days, these were the places I did work at (Manhattan Ocean Club, the sister seafood restaurant of Smith and Wollensky)—and actually had the 21 Club call me for an interview (I was already making moving plans to PDX)

  • Bill Slider

    I checked Google for the history of 21 Club, it was born before all of us, including Dr Zoom, 1930 to be exact. Apparently, it was a speakeasy during Prohibition, and frequented by, you guessed it, the Mafia. So Trump attempts secretly dining at a restaurant with a history of sex, drugs and pre rock and roll (jazz). WOW. You just know they serve Trump steaks.

    • cat cafe

      Trump’s been in the NYC construction business since the 1980s. He GOES there because it’s still frequented by his buddies in the Mafia.

  • haroldpp

    Hey, as long as Gui-man and Flynn don’t use a private email server, what is everyone’s issue? Have some perspective.

  • Hard as it is to believe it appears there is some good news today. Did you hear that Seattle’s mayor joined with mayors of several other major cities to put the feds on notice that they will not cooperate with immigration officials in the threatened purge of undocumented immigrants? There’s the reports on Giuliani’s shenanigans. Rumors they are finding it very difficult to find anybody at all willing to work with Flynn. The projectile vomiting response of a number of people and organizations to Bannon’s appointment and the shutting off of those alt-right Twitter accounts. The rising awareness that Ivanka and Jared are pulling a lot of the strings behind the scenes (“No puppet! No puppet! You’re the puppet!”). And, most wonderfully, the ongoing reports of the chaos and incompetence of the transition which Richard Wolfe today in the Guardian characterized as “this dumpster fire of a campaign just turned into a brushfire of a transition”. Feel the sun on your face!

    • And forgot to mention the complaint the DNC filed with the FBI alleging Bannon’s violation of campaign laws and demanding an investigation. They even conveniently attached the paper trail documents just to help out.

      • cat cafe

        HAHAHAHAH the FBI—it’s almost like we expect them to be non-partisan and do their jobs!

    • John D. Wiser

      Schadenfreude is great therapy for depression.

    • cat cafe

      Yes, I’m so proud of Los Angeles–even our Chief of Police said no way, Jose. Literally, he said that, because his deputy chief is named Jose. I just made that up, but it worked, didn’t it?

  • So Trump is calling world leaders from Trump Towers. What do you think the odds are that the Russians have already bugged the phone system there?

    • Bmaccnm

      They don’t need bugs. They can just pick up the extension and listen in.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        They don’t need to pick up the extension… he calls them first so they’re already on the call.

        • cat cafe

          They initiate the call, and then conference HIM in. Also, in Soviet Russia, calls conferences YOU.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Has he retreated to the bunker yet? Too soon?

    • cat cafe

      Oh, way too soon. First he has the triumphal rallies, he sweeps through Baja California (“traditionally, always part of California), Sonora, Jalisco and Chihuahua, he joins with Putin, he and Putin dismantle NATO, take over all of Ukraine and the other former SSRs, and Czechoslovakia just for old time’s sake, then he decides to attack Putin, masses his troops in the winter at Stalingrad, Putin then counterattacks and takes over the entire East Coast and starts viciously moving West, then finally the Australians and New Zealanders come to our aid because they feel sorry for us and also miss our hamburgers and our movies, and remember how much we loved the Lord of the Rings movies, weren’t they scenic, they looked like another planet almost, and the hobbits, and they successfully invade with those paddleboards and banana boats from the Phillipines, but surprisingly, at Point Reyes, when EVERYone was expecting Los Angeles, and with the help of the pockets of resistance here in California, battle their way through the smoldering remains of the country. THEN he retreats to the bunker.

  • Melinda Piette

    Meanwhile, MSNBC continues to be its own bizarre hodgepodge of super strong, outspoken resistance (Joy Reid, O’Donnell, Chris Hayes), slightly less strong resistance (Matthews and Maddow), weird enablement/still pushing the disproven narrative (Ruhle and Welker) and, of course, Morning Jerk now on his knees, giving PussBurglar blowies.

    Disgustingly, Nina Turner was on Stupid Stephanie (who I now tweet daily to tell her to actually, you know, do her job) this AM and was wholesale also still spinning the populism/economic anxiety narrative.

    Hey Nina: the people you USED to represent actually voted for Clinton—-except for where their votes were suppressed or purged. Stop normalizing this asshole. The people who voted for him were racists and just because Bernie didn’t get the nomination doesn’t mean you get to join push the PussBurglar’s bullshit narrative

    • BeachBum
      • BeachBum

        I haven’t been watching so thanx for the update. I will watch them after I see if the Professor and Gilligan can build a radio out of coconuts.

        • Tacoclamgenda

          Market has coconuts on sale. Let me know if the radio thing works out and I’ll make a run.

          Me, I’m watching to see if Castile can get his own grace back, if hell kiss the girl and whether they and Sam can all evacute the demon in Dean. These are the kind of demons I can deal with.

          • Mr Canoehead

            How can Castile get his grace back if Beckett won’t renew her contact?

      • Melinda Piette

        I’m thinking propoganda—she was a huge BoB and I bet she either didn’t vote, herself, or protest voted for Jill Stein or wrote in Bernie. I’m really, really tired of this bullshit narrative, anyway—and all these supposed progressives trying to get me to back Ellison (still maintain Howard Dean can actually get the job done) as HE pushes the narrative, as well….cause it supports his state (even tho his district is a pack of evil, urban elites, themselves)

        ETA: when fucking USA Today is disproving this, maybe it’s time to accept it isn’t a fact and go look at other issues (foreign/FBI corruption and interference, voter suppression, internalized racism and misogyny, etc)

    • Yr. Gma

      I have sworn off all TV for now. It’s easier that way.

    • Seccessiony-Katie

      I can’t watch Ruhle. Watching her is just mainlining rage for me most mornings. That’s no way to start my day.

      • Melinda Piette

        I kinda hate her more than Doucheborough or Halperin—-cause she pretends to be legit. In fact, I’m still confused as to how she even got her own show, she sucks and doesn’t do anything. Plus she has that “former cheerleader who still thinks she’s adorably 22 years old and how doesn’t everyone see that?” demeanor I utterly despise

        • Seccessiony-Katie

          HAH! That former cheerleader thing is at least 50% of why I can’t watch her! And she’s a terrible interviewer. She consistently asks the most inane questions.

          I work from home most days, so she’s a helpful prompt to turn the TV off and get to work now.

          • Melinda Piette

            Oh also: Steph and her homegirl, Nina were insisting “Dems need to pick their battles wisely” for why we SHOULDN’T be upset/objecting to a fucking Nazi being steps away from the Oval Office.

            Uhhh….dumbasses, they’ve already specifically stated they WILL work with him on stuff they agree on (more than we ever got from the Puggies, BTW), but they won’t on shit they don’t. That is the literally definition of “picking your battles”.

  • Panika MCD

    holy shit. watching this County Affairs thing on law enforcement and Anton Woods from Black Lives Matter Houston was talking about the need for transparency and said, “We don’t trust the police and, with the election of Donald Trump, a lot of us don’t trust white people.”

    • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

      Yup. I’m white and I don’t trust white people.

      • BeachBum

        You got that right ! I’m white, was in business all my life. Ya gotta be “show me the money” or they will eat you alive.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Serious question for POC… What can White People Who Aren’t Trumpnutz(TM) do to help you ward off the ravages of the spray-tanned poo-flinger and his wannabe Confederate hordes?

      • Panika MCD

        I’m not a POC, but I would say the first step would be asking an organization like a local BLM or NAACP chapter what you can do.

      • Panika MCD

        needs may vary across the country, so it’s nice to go to a national page, but you need to get in touch with the local chapters.

    • wavicles

      I don’t trust us anymore either.

      • John D. Wiser

        I NEVER trusted us.

        • cat cafe

          I’m a Jooooish and the whites tried to wipe out my Dad and DID wipe out most of his family, so I’m not sure we count as white at all.

  • BeachBum

    “Maverick’s in the Danger Zone.” Good One !

    • alpacapunchbowl

      So many good turns of phrase today! I was particularly fond of “rebrand themselves into something that doesn’t necessarily grab people the wrong way”.

  • Duke

    When the only people you really trust are people who obey so they can inherit your monies then it’s hard to run a government.

    Who saw this coming? Not the poorly educated, that’s for sure.

    • BeachBum

      I heard Louis XIV tried it.

  • DensityDestiny

    Aww, thanks for the dik pic. It made my day in a non-bigoted way!

  • Khavrinen

    “it breaks with a tradition of constant press availability by all modern presidents.”

    Yet another indicator that Trump really wants to be President in the 1800s — you know, back when it was “great” for Blacks, Mexicans, and women…

    • cat cafe

      Except the words and sentences were too long for him. Maybe more like the 800s.

  • Mintie

    Wow, so Trump’s even screwing over the media now, who was so nice to him during the election, what with their blowing bullshit news about his political rivals out of proportion? Color me surprised.

  • Khavrinen

    “an attempt to rebrand themselves into something that doesn’t necessarily grab people the wrong way.”
    Has anyone suggested renaming one “Pussycat Place” yet?

  • Khavrinen

    Cute video of the dik-dik. If you send someone a photo of them, does that count as a dik-dik pic-pic?

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      To get that, you’ll need to take a photo of the photo. Of course, if the dik-dik is female, you’d have a chick dik-dik pic pic.

  • unclejeems

    Rikki tikki dik dik.

  • Recipriversexclusons

    Truth is most definitely stranger than fiction. Mose Allison has joined the Big Gig in the Universe.

    A tribute;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJJAd5wDpDY

  • Mr Canoehead

    Here’s hoping that Trump shutting out the Press will encourage them to do some actual journalism, not stenography.

  • merl1

    I think the truth is that Ben Carson didn’t want a job in a racist Administration or else wasn’t really asked to be in Trump’s candidate and just came up with a damn funny excuse.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Maybe he’s not as dumb as we all suspected, realizes he’s not meant for government work, and really just wanted to sell a few books all along.

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