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Morning Wonkers! Here’s some of the stories Yr Wonkette will make you feel less sad about today!

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  • dslindc

    Are the no-fucks-left Harry Reid stories fought over in the Sekrit Chat Cave™? It seems like they would be given most of the other news.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’m sure attacks on Muslims will keep the FBI busy for the next four years, seeing as how their director just guaranteed there will be a lot more of them by getting Trump elected.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Job security.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    I’m having a hard time this morning. It was difficult to come out of bed and go to work. But I did it, and I’m going to get through today, and I’ll probably end up crying some more, but I am writing my congresspeople and putting my money to good use and I have to focus on that now.

    I tried to explain to a straight white man yesterday that I appreciated his attempts at trying to make me feel better, but his assertions that, “Things aren’t that bad and they’re going to get better” are bullshit and do not actually make me feel better. Then he told me that whining never got anything done and I took him off my list of people I respect.

    People don’t seem to understand that you can whine online/IRL and still TAKE ACTION, MOTHERFUCKERS.

    • nothingisamiss

      AMEN. I am right with you. Whining, sad, angry, at a loss….and going to a Planned Parenthood fundraiser.

      • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

        Bravo to you. I’m agoraphobic so most of what I do is sending money via my safe little computer screen. :

    • Lance Thrustwell

      “I am a whiner, and I keep whining and whining until I win.”

      – Donald J. Trump, Aug. 15, 2015.

  • Apple Scruff

    “Yet multiple sources familiar with Trump’s planning say Lewandowski is being considered for either a White House post — possibly deputy chief of staff for strategic planning — or even chairman of the Republican National Committee.

    If there is a God, please make this happen.

  • The Wanderer

    Shit, piss and industrial waste. The last things I needed to see this morning were Uday, Qusay and Lolita.
    Let’s hear it Canadian sodomy! Yay! Yet another use for maple syrup!

    • therblig

      is it legal to grab’em by the beaver up there?

      • Foreign Agitator Ron

        Yes, but you have to ask nicely first.

        • therblig

          that seems fair. now, as far as role playing, is it better to be the mountie or the mountee?

          • The Wanderer

            You may want to start with a rousing game of Who Goosed The Moose.

          • therblig

            antler? i hardly even know her!

          • Whale Chowder

            Depends. Are you a hoser?

      • The Wanderer

        “You can’t get the wood, you know.” – Henry Crun

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        In Canada, beaver grabs you!

  • Apple Scruff
  • Melinda Piette

    Reid is literally the only cool guy left, Sanders and Warren are waaaay to concerned with sucking up to a pack of people who hate them and didn’t vote for them, on any level and who they don’t represent

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      As I said on this subject yesterday, if I wanted to coddle and apologize for bigots, I’d join the Republican party.

    • cousin itt of the Resistance

      Give ’em hell, Harry.

    • Whale Chowder

      Jesus. When Sanders and Warren aren’t pure enough for you, who exactly clears the fucking bar? Jill Fucking Stein?

      • Melinda Piette

        Them not sucking racist, flyover dick, remembering who actually voted for them, not feeding a bullshit narrative/normalizing bigotry and supporting those of us now actively resisting, maybe?

        Reid’s pretty centrist/establishment and HE isn’t kissing cracker ass

        • Whale Chowder

          AFAIK, they both have said to the extent Trump’s interests coincide with theirs, they’re willing to work with him (think infrastructure projects). That’s pretty dick-sucking, you betcha.

          It’s the age-old problem with liberals: they’re interested in actually, y’know, governing which never satisfies the purity trolls.

          • Melinda Piette

            Hardly, again, as noted “a purity troll”. I’d have no issue with seeking common ground—-the problem is they also give him political capital and normalize him in the process. Additionally, they could do so without perpetuating the fully debunked media narrative of “economic anxiety” (which is, actually, self-pitying xenophobia) or excusing the actions of either racists or people who ignored racism, which makes them also racists.

            It’s fascinating to me that neither of them have ANYTHING to say in support of those of us now resisting, or his incredibly racist/conflict of interest appointments, etc. No, they’ll kiss rust-belt butt (when those aren’t the people who they’re supposed to be representing) and give cover under something that’s never gonna happen, anyway.

            Interestingly, we’ve already seen others point out all that’s wrong with his agenda, while still admitting areas they can find agreement.

            Lastly, again, neither is part of the Democratic Party leadership nor now speaking for the bulk of the base (though that IS who elected them). Again, she’s a junior senator from a mediumish state, he isn’t even an actual Dem from a tiny one. Neither gets to tell me to suck cracker dick and neither represents myself, my interests nor particularly my party.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Trump spawn want more free shit? Maybe if Junior and Eric are REALLY good boys this year, Santa will bring them each a lower jaw.

    • AnOuthouse

      and a buttplug for Eric’s mouth.

  • therblig

    rudy maintained peace among the 5 boroughs. of course he’s the odds on favorite for secretary of state. athough he did ask how many wives come with the job.

  • cousin itt of the Resistance

    “Because when you’re a candidate and you say something that is inaccurate or controversial it has less impact than it does when you’re president of the United States. Everybody around the world is paying attention. Markets move,” he said.

    Say stupid shit and your financial empire falls.

    • Oblios_Cap

      We can only hope it’s Trumps empire, and not the whole country’s..

  • Oblios_Cap

    The financial regulators are already in bed with the firms they regulate; they’ll be making more money during the Trump Ages. Elizabeth Warren is the exception to the rule.

    • onedollarjuana

      Case in point: Atty. Gen’l. Eric Holder.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    So they’re considering security clearance for the same kids Trump wants to run his “blind” trust businesses? I think my brain just shut down.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Trump blind Trust plan:

      1) James Comey announces major criminal investigation in Acme, Inc.
      2) Acme stock plummets.
      3) Trump “blind” trust buys loads of Acme stock
      4) James Comey releases second letter, “clarifying” that there is no investigation into Acme.
      5) Profit!
      6) Trumpkins point out that Trump is so smart, even his “blind” trust makes tons of money.

      • therblig

        Shareholder proposal from W. E. Coyote for greater transparency soundly defeated by Acme Board of directors.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The soul-sucking leech better known as Rudy Giuliani is being considered for Secretary of State, as is John Bolton

    Christ! And I thought Gingrich was a bad choice.

    • The Wanderer

      Leech libel. What do people have against decent, hard-working annelids?

    • therblig

      i’m wondering if trump, who grew up in new york, is actually thinking of Officer Joe Bolton. Brings clarity to his other staff picks.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fa4d182e0e3bfe9dc77daa08a9800968ac5b1cff69cddf8659d60cf7cc455f43.jpg

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      And don’t forget that Sessions is on the list for Attorney General. Guess he wasn’t happy enough pushing Alabama union suppression and clapping his hands gleefully every time they left copies of the 10 Commandments lying around the State Supreme Court.

  • Nounverb911
  • dslindc

    Gutting financial regulations? What could possibly go wrong? Yesssssireeeee, that seems just fine! No evidence to the contrary!

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      It’s not like we have many these days anyway.

      • Foreign Agitator Ron

        I’m sure you won’t miss them.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      Not to mention snarling traffic in NYC and DC every single day as he tries to commute between his own bed and the White House.

      • Foreign Agitator Ron

        I dunno. Is it possible to make the traffic any worse than it already is?

        • Lark_in_the_AM

          See the Fort Washington bridge, 9/9/13 – 9/13/13.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            I can’t. There’s a big fat guy in the way.

        • Nounverb911

          I was in NYC when spiderman climbed trump tower over the summer, so yes.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I don’t think that’s what we all meant when we asked for more infrastructure projects.

    • dslindc

      Will we have to have the limos, helicopters, and planes gold plated, also too?

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      Apply a few of these and they’ll be fine: https://pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/79974/450.jpg

    • therblig

      wouldn’t it be easier for him to just bribe planning officials and have the building codes changed so it’s already terrorist proof? isn’t that more his style?

    • Lori

      Who’s going to pay for that? (As if I don’t know.)

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Nononononononononopedynopenope!

      Another play in the long con? Trump tower ain’t goin the way of those twins

    • Querolous

      Future site of the Drumph Presidential Library. 58 floor gift shop. Reading room on the loading dock. One folding chair, one folding card table.

  • Nounverb911

    Well for someone that four years ago thought the electoral college was a joke, they seemed to have flip flopped again…

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/798521053551140864

    • Ryan Denniston

      My vote counted for about half of a voter from Wyoming you little shit gibbon. And this is the second time in my life that we’ve had the vote stolen.

      I should have known that the moment you started talking about a rigged system that the answer is ALWAYS. PROJECTION. ALWAYS.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Do you have the same respect sir for other longstanding institutions? Things like Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid? Because the Speaker of the House does not.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Boinking your underling still seems to be on his list.

        • Ryan Denniston

          He grabbing Ivanka’s ass should be on a constant loop for the next four years.

  • MynameisBlarney

    If the people in the electoral college have even the tiniest bit of love left for this nation and it’s constitution, they’ll flip their votes.
    Trump simply cannot be allowed to be president.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      I wouldn’t count on it, but it’s a nice dream. Kinda like Obama making a recess appointment to the Supreme Court, and when the Senate pitches a fit, saying “Deal with it.”

      • Tacoclamgenda

        They will make sure they are officially in session from now on for just that reason.

        • Pissed de Résistance

          Yeah, I guess all they have to do is have some presence there to claim they were not in recess.

  • Foreign Agitator Ron

    OT, but perhaps not:
    Pony returns having bought an old Fusion AWD to replace his even older Mazda, so now he can make plans to travel about being all protest-y, assuming his Wonkette non-commenting doesn’t make him persona non-grata at the border. (I have a feeling Canuckistanians will need a passport soon, not just Enhanced Driver’s Licenses.) It is rather nice to know he can go places and actually expect to get back again safely.

    So what happened yesterday? <looks> Good gods almighty…

  • Blacktop Cadence

    So, how much is it going to cost us to transport Guiliani’s casket and grave dirt around the world and over running water?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      We can save money on his computer. It only needs three keys: 9, /, and 1.

      • anwisok

        But then how could he type a noun and a verb to go with it?

        • Pissed de Résistance

          9///////////. 1//////////. 1/////////?

    • nightmoth

      Oh, most excellent, blacktop!!!

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Votes.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    “Reports started to circulate yesterday that Trump wants to give his kids security clearances, although the transition team is signaling that it might not be true (for now).”

    There are two conditions to grant someone access to classified information, (1) a need to know, and (2) a security clearance commensurate with the classification of the material.

    What fucking possibility exists that his stupid fucking kids have a bona fide need to know about anything classified? And no, having a clearance is NOT a green light to go poking around in things you don’t have a need to know about in hopes of finding something. They don’t give out blanket clearances in just in case you might need to know about something someday.

    Such ignorance on the part of our future president and administration is simply astounding.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Don’t forget about the absolutely stunning ignorance of those that voted for the bastard.

    • “What fucking possibility exists that his stupid fucking kids have a bona fide need to know about anything classified?”

      Probably, just in case dad wants to give his kids a head’s up on impending US policy so they can place the appropriate bets in the market.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      There are two reasons why Trump would want them to have clearance.
      1. he doesn’t really trust anyone but his spawn when he needs advice

      2. with his poor reading comprehension and juvenile attention span he’ll be needing someone to read his daily security reports.

      • therblig

        3. his spawn will parrot back just what he wants to hear. they’ve been working the inheritance game for years – they know the drill.

      • Duke

        Being president is hard. At least if you take it seriously.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          I think Trump’s going to find out it’s hard even if you don’t take it seriously.

          • Foreign Agitator Ron

            If you don’t take it seriously it quickly becomes impossible.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      But that’s assuming we continue to have a country of laws.

    • Lori

      Donald’s family is his security blanket and he wants them to have access to everything he has access to so that they can continue to fill that role. One theory is that he has a learning disability & can’t read & doesn’t want anyone outside the family circle to know. I don’t know about that, but I do know that none of those 3 or Ivanka’s husband should get clearances for anything, especially since they’re running his company. That set-up is already totally f’ed up and it doesn’t need to be made any worse.

      Gawd, this family is so horrible. I can’t believe we’re going from the Obamas to this nightmare mess.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Security blanket maybe, but one that involves no real affection, which even he has more or less admitted. It’s more of a Medici-style dynastic empire….it’s ok to hate and humiliate one another, as long as the power and the money keeps flowing. There is nothing about these fucking ghouls that resembles “family” as most of us define the term.

        • Lori

          Yeah. They band together against outsiders, but the inside of that group is nowhere any decent person would want to be.

    • SpideySenser

      At minimum, they need to sit down for a high school level civics class.

    • kareemachan

      But not surprising…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      But not at all surprising. Not one of these people is fit to hold the lowest public office of any sort.

  • Nounverb911

    Here’s something to cheer you up. (at least for a little while).
    https://twitter.com/NYMag/status/798498958888861697

    • baconzgood

      Meh…Baconz is a Who fan.

      • Foreign Agitator Ron

        You can be two things!

        • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

          UNPOSSIBLE. That’s something a godless, commie, nazi libtart atheist muslin WOULD say

        • baconzgood

          I just don’t like the Beatles. I think they are WAAAAAY overrated.

          • Foreign Agitator Ron

            <puts on headphones and cranks up ‘Sgt Pepper’ and pretends you didn’t say that>

          • Thiazin Red

            I think they’re okay, not quite as overrated as Nirvana, but still way overrated. The Who is better.

          • starfanglednut

            Oh god, Nirvana are terrible.

      • Nounverb911

        Who’s on first?

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          Who.

    • jodyleek

      The only Beatles song that will be allowed after Jan 20th: Back In The USSR.

  • Now, why do I have this feeling like the Donald and his spawn are going to make off like bandits at the end of four years with all the money while the US economy implodes and the Russians suddenly discover all our secrets?

    • Ryan Denniston

      Trump might actually come away from this thing an actual billionaire!

    • Blacktop Cadence

      Grifters gonna grift.

      I’m surprised he’s even considering Palin given she’s just competition at this point.

      Can we come up with a snappy name like Tammanay Hall?

      • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

        How about Taj Mahal?

        • Blacktop Cadence

          Long way from Camelot at this point.

          • Tacoclamgenda

            The rain and smog won’t wait until sundown and there will be a mist, morning or otherwise.

          • Querolous

            Scam-a-lot.

        • Tacoclamgenda

          Nope. It’s beautiful on the outside and we don’t get that compensation which is a good thing what with the massive rush to normalization.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Scammany Hall?

    • baconzgood

      Because you can see the obvious?

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      4 years? Pence will be Preznit in 2…

      • Foreign Agitator Ron

        Wait, I got it – THAT’S what Caribou Barbie’s role in the administration will be: Secretary of Quitting Half-way Through!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        A real be-careful-what-you-wish-for scenario.

  • baconzgood

    Security clearance for everyone! Just like it was Oprah with DVD players.

    • therblig

      and bees

  • nightmoth

    mother-fucking children of the corn photo!
    Totally and completely off topic, except for the reminder that corporate greed is going to kill us all—-I’m still researching where the hell to move and looked at British holdings in the Caribbean & thought “not far enough.” Then I remembered American Samoa & thought “pretty darn far” & found this FACT about its’ economy:
    “The one tuna cannery, StarKist, exports several hundred million dollars worth of canned tuna to the United States each year. The other tuna cannery, Samoa Packing, a Chicken of the Sea subsidiary, closed in 2009 due to American Samoans being granted minimum wage.”
    So, overpaid media pundits—the working class voted for Trump because they were worried about money? Welcome to Trumpanistan, suckers.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah. Go ahead, let them drop the minimum wage requirement. They get their’s and corporations start to realize their bottom line is affected, as well

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Geeze, I can’t even try to make a canned clams joke. But hey, it’s all gonna be ok or so they say.

  • therblig
    • Blacktop Cadence

      Will we at least get crazy adventures and a classic NES game out of it?

      • MynameisBlarney

        And spin-off cartoons?

    • Rick Hill

      trump is wondering why his inquiries and offers of job offers to S. McDuck haven’t been returned

  • MynameisBlarney

    Whoever said trumps people were deplorable, must have meant adorable, right?
    Just look at this precious little darling, trying to spread his fascist little wings.

    It’s enough ta make ya cry, I tells ya.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2016/11/anti-trump-protester-assaulted-ohio-state

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Google/Facebook/Twitter announce closing of barn door, decline to comment on whereabouts of horse.”

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Seeing that header picture immediately brought this to mind.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3bd068579a5d2f33fbe0ece3e20f45d8e5051d4bff966c556b470628ba921537.jpg

    What a fun world we live in.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Is there any chance that anything Trump does as president will turn out well? On top of the “usual” – deregulation, tax cuts and privatization, with side orders of religious, racial and sexual intolerance, we’ve got Giuliani negotiating with foreign powers and the fucking Borgia Kids wanting all the state secrets.

    And that’s without the unholy fucking trinity of Pence, McConnell and Ryan – who’d have thought you’d ever get to the stage where you might think McConnell was the most responsible member of an entire administration? What a fucking shit show.

    Wake me up when this is all over.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I say there’s a chance. And when has a New York Times columnist been wrong about anything?”
      — Nick Kristof

      • Ricky Gay

        Might take a few Friedman Units to find out.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        apparently just this morning

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      We can finally get rid of those danged National Parks and public lands that Teddy and FDR forced down our throats.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      This is what will happen: everything will be a shit sandwich, but Republicans will hoist it up, Democrats will knuckle under in the name of “patriotism” and “respecting the office of the president,” and Fox News will propagandize the shit out of everything. Then, in four years, we’ll watch Crotch Grabber get sworn in again.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    The funny thing about the faithless elector story? Is that P. Bret Chiafalo and Robert Satiacum are the same two who were preening themselves about refusing their electoral votes to Clinton under any circumstances before the election. I guess either buyer’s remorse really bites or they just enjoy being in the news.

    • Toomush_Infer

      “This oughta be worth something”….forget who said that….

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Where is Callyson? OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

      • Carpe Vagenda

        ??

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          That’s her favorite response to this shit.

  • Rick Hill
  • BosGrl

    I’m watching Sen Warren on FB Live right now and she is talking about
    Steve Bannon and the whole racist overtone of the new administration.
    She is saying “don’t stand on the sidelines and be quiet” and “we can’t ignore this”.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      She is the hero we need right now.

  • Nounverb911

    Teabagger congresscritters now have hats….

    https://twitter.com/natehodson/status/798529360181530624

  • Toomush_Infer

    Those Trump kids – do they know how to use e-mail?…

  • Ryan Denniston

    I do wonder how long we’ll have to wait until groups of Redhats are patrolling the street, eager for opportunities to Make America Great Again after reading stories like this.

    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2016/11/today-in-trumps-america-3

    • Foreign Agitator Ron

      The savings over giving them brown shirts should be considerable.

      • georgiaburning

        Give?

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          Yeah, they’ll be clamoring to buy their own. Looks like an entrepreneurial opportunity if I ever saw one.

    • The Librarian

      Not long enough, I’m afraid.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      The man asked Leon to throw the women out of the restaurant, but he
      refused, and instead moved the gent and his companion to a different
      table. The guy paid his check and exited the restaurant at 6:50 pm, but
      then dashed back in again — nearly knocking over a kid on his way — and
      slugged one of the ladies in the face, according to the manager. (my emphasis)

      I think we can look for many more of this type of ‘Hero for Trumpistan’ in the future. What a gutless coward.

    • therblig

      will president windrip really let that happen?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    The Hill reports that Health insurance companies are freaking out about piecemeal changes to the ACA.
    Maybe they shouldn’t have helped convince everyone that it was a disaster.

    • Blacktop Cadence

      One of my dad’s best friends went all in on the anti-ACA bit about “Mah premiums!”

      There wasn’t a way to reach them, honestly.

      • Lori

        My cowrokers are like this. There’s no convincing them that the problems that they’re having with their insurance are not the fault of the ACA.

        • zerosumgame0005

          and I bet the LAST ones they look to for all those troubles is the repthug state government they keep voting for!

          • Lori

            Yup. I pointed out to several of them just yesterday that a major problem with implementation of the ACA is that states, ours included, refused the medicaid expansion. They looked at me like I was speaking Swahili.

      • Jennifer R

        Ryan might be trying to overreach and not leave in a grandfather clause in the murder of medicare and medicaid.

    • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

      In the kindest way possible, FUCK’EM if they can’t take a joke. Greedy motherfuckers.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Somebody better be keeping a very close watch on who uses what email server, and who passes what classified information to who. I say there is zero chance of everybody in team/clan Trump doing it by the book.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Unlike the Bush Administration….ooops…

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      IOKIYAAR

  • Boy, that is one cute babby pygmy hippo.

    Here’s a babby pygmy marmoset and his BFF – a fluffy babby chihuahua!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0af1886a9337c1718cb3a1ba83d27714b2912f9509ca076d336bb17feb897a6b.jpg !

    • lroom

      Awe!

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    The stormin’ Mormon. GIVE ‘EM HELL, HARRY!

  • Bill Slider

    The thought of America’s Greatest Mayor becoming Secretary of State is enough to make my arrow quiver.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    So when did they start filming a remake of Village of the Damned? Oh wait

  • Villago Delenda Est

    These people are classic, CLASSIC security risks…in hock beyond their eyeballs clear to the stratosphere to oligarchs in an adversary country. They shouldn’t be allowed in the same zip code as classified information.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I’m guessing the stream of intelligence the US receives from its allies is about to be reduced to a trickle.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        They might say “we’ll get back to you on that” as the entire substance of the trickle. We are totally fucked. No one in their right mind among our nominal allies will share any intel at all knowing that Vlad is listening in on the conversation.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      Risk factors commonly considered:

      “Allegiance to the United States; foreign influence; foreign preference; sexual behavior; personal conduct; financial considerations; alcohol consumption; drug involvement; emotional, mental, and personality disorders; criminal conduct; security violations; outside activities; and misuse of information technology systems.”

      http://www.state.gov/m/ds/clearances/c10977.htm#13

      • Courser

        I feel like I’m stuck in a Tom Clancy novel with none of the insight that usually provides. It’s abjectly horrifying.

      • h4rr4r

        Thus explaining why they can’t find any young people to hire.

        No kidding, I know of a couple defense contractor positions that are going unfilled since you basically can’t find anyone who knows what they want who does not poke smot or violate one of those other concerns.

        • Pissed de Résistance

          True enough. The questions actually got easier recently with no more questions about your sexuality, and some slack on drugs before you were 18. On my first interview for SCI (25 years ago) they actually asked “Have you ever had sex with any animals?” Had to answer without laughing!

          • h4rr4r

            One of those positions is now a contractor for an outside agency since that lets them reduce the scope to are you smoking pot now or doing illegal computer stuff now.

            This is why our government IT programs are so full of fail. These standards exclude pretty much all qualified candidates.

          • Odd Jørgensen

            well, it stands to reason that if you puff on a blunt in your moms basement, that`s a grave security breach, while having a drink at the hotel bar talking up that nice hot lady with the attachè case is just fine.

      • Bemused

        So basically our brand new president elect shouldn’t be able to get a security clearance for himself, much less his kids.

      • Suse

        It’s Bannon!

    • Tacoclamgenda

      I don’t know why we think it matters. It’s hard to imagine that he won’t share it no matter what. They have no ethics, ergo…

      • Lori

        Because if they don’t have clearances and he shares with them any way it’ll be illegal and that gives us an outside chance to nail him for it at some point.

  • georgiaburning

    Good picture of the three new Cylon models

    • Msgr_Moment

      Twilight was a better love story than these three.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Blanche Beecham

    Forget Socialism, Peepaw and Nanna, Narcissism is going to take down the US.

  • bookish

    What a precious little pudgy babby. I want to snuggle him in my bed while he still fits.

  • Me not sure

    Once they get their security clearances the Trump kids will be READY FOR ACTION! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4aee6f8f42f146eab10ba9d2277760780dfbbe86a8ed507f9ab5cedff4d05a1.jpg

  • shaar dula
  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    It’s like the entire country turned into Mississippi overnight. Cruel, polarized, bigoted, violent, insanely racist, and fronted by a lot of bland little mush-mouthed bag men for the oligarchs, who trot around saying, Klan? Klan? You mean, the Ku Klux? Oh, that was long ago, jes’ some good ol’ boys funnin’ around, why we get along jes’ fine with our Nigrahs nowadays. ‘Course we don’t care much for troublemakers and malcontents, and we got ever’ right to take pride in our flag and cherish and protect our fine Southern womanhood and our glorious traditions…

    Meanwhile, Trump wants security clearances for those kids so they can explain things to him. He’s so fucked. He knows he’s in over his head, he doesn’t have a clue how to do this, and the sharks are circling. Mitch McConnell, Steve Bannon, Paul Ryan, every lobbyist in DC–not to mention the truly terrifying Mike Pence, who has a strange, ambitious gleam in his eyes these days–they’re coming for him, and while he doesn’t know much, he knows enough to know that.

    So he wants the only people on this planet he actually trusts to act as his “brain” and talk him through the next four years. The guy is scared shitless.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      #ihopetrumpfails

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    What can it hurt to give them clearances? I mean, the fucking POTUS will be sexting America’s nuclear secrets to Pooter anyway. FFS we might as well sell the secret information and make some money off of it before the Trumpocalypse does, or Wikileaks, or the FBI. I for one am not looking forward to our new Russian overlords.

  • jesuswasablack

    “Trump wants to give his kids security clearances”
    I say Ivanka can see our national security secrets if we can see those sweet big titties!
    http://plasticsurgerystar.com/users/1/page_images/Ivanka%20Trump%20boob%20job.jpg

    • Tacoclamgenda

      WHAT?

    • shaar dula

      this is something to consider. when people voted for trump, did they bargain for the rest of them?

    • Me not sure

      I’ll bet you can see Russia from that front porch.

    • doktorzoom

      Hurr hurr boob jokes. Please review the rules, especially #5. This stuff gets on the moderator’s nerves, and you’ll want to avoid that.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Thank you, Dok.

      • Mavenmaven

        Very strongly agree. This is a time of crisis and we need to be better.

      • Whale Chowder

        Yeah. Misogyny doesn’t really do it for me either.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Go back to sleep. You started the day wrong.

  • The Librarian

    Why do the Trump kids need their own security clearances? Can’t they reuse and share Sasha’s and Malia’s?

  • Pisto75666

    JFC…the comments on the article about the teacher from Tampa “oh he was just joking…I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” and “it was a learning experience..kids are there to learn.”

    THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS! THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS!

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Obviously it IS how this works from here on out
      Oh, and we can’t have nice things either.

  • Jay

    You can also donate directly to Foster Campbell’s campaign.

    http://www.fostercampbell2016.com/

  • Khavrinen

    So one of the main things Trump used to worm his way into the presidency was what a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad thing it was that Crooked Hillary allowed classified eMails to pass through her personal, unsecured server, clearly the greatest threat to the nation that has ever come to pass. And the very first thing he does with his newfound power is start handing out access to classified materiel to anyone who suits his fancy, qualified or not.

    Not sure, but I think irony died today.

  • Ducksworthy

    Eric Trump can’t get a security clearance but he thinks that baby hippo looks “Delicious”.

  • CaptainObvious

    Wow this website is pure garbage. Funny the author talks about fake news being eliminated as a good thing.

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