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It's been a long year
It’s been a long year

Way back in March, Yr Editrix had a brilliant idea: there were something like 35 weeks to the election, and 34 Senate races this year. Hey, Dok, would you want to profile one Senate race a week? Yes, Dok, you would! And so began a brain melting odyssey through the races for the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body, a phrase that still makes us giggle even now. This week, a brief look at some of the top Senate races, some of which hadn’t even had their primaries when we started this mess back in March with our first Senate Sunday column, which focused on the challenge to John McCain, my friends, by Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick, who had an outside chance of kicking Ol’ Grumpyupants to the curb. Now, here we are in November, and while Kirkpatrick still has an outside chance, polling suggests McCain is likely to be with us for a sixth term, darn it. One unknown: Latino turnout is expected to be yooge in Arizona this year, since there’s a realistic chance of voting out loathsome Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, so Kirkpatrick may still get an unexpected boost. Don’t bet a lot on it, but she’s not out altogether.

Some of the Senate races looked like gimmes from the start, and still do. In Illinois, Tammy Duckworth is all but a lock to send Mark Kirk packing, even if saying so risks the Wrath of the Whatever from High Atop the Thing. Kirk tried to play Mr. Moderate by becoming the first high-profile R to undorse Donald Trump, but it didn’t help, and then he went and dug his own hole deeper by making a hilarious “joke” in a debate: Duckworth said her family had a history of military service going back to the American Revolution, and Kirk thought this would be a witty thing to say: “I had forgotten that your parents came all the way from Thailand to serve George Washington.” Get it? No way could her father’s side of the family have any history, right? Kirk out.

Wisconsin looks about like it did when we profiled it in late March: Russ Feingold would very much like to return to the Senate, and incumbent Ron Johnson is kind of a dope. Enough of a dope that his idea of a great way to fight the opioid epidemic is to bring back those “this is your brain on drugs” ads that didn’t work the first time. Johnson is yet another of the R’s elected in the 2010 Teabagger Tsunami, and his appeal seems to have worn off. The race has tightened as outside spending from PACs on both sides has flooded into the state almost as much as electoral cliches have, but Feingold still holds a narrow edge.

Pennsylvania’s Pat Toomey looks likely to lose his seat, let’s hope, to Katie McGinty, who was merely one of three primary candidates when we looked at Pennsylvania way back in April. How hard is Toomey trying to hold on to his seat? For one thing, he’s just about the only Republican senator who has refused to say who he’s voting for in the presidential election. That fence in his crotch must hurt! Also, take a look at this last-minute ad suggesting Barack Obama would love him and hug him and call him his favorite senator:

Barack Obama was careful to clarify last week he’s with McGinty, thank you very much:

“Pat Toomey may have done the right thing on one vote, but courage is telling Pennsylvania voters where you stand on the tough issues, not just the easy ones like background checks,” Obama said in a statement Saturday afternoon. “Pat Toomey won’t tell Pennsylvania voters where he stands on Donald Trump, trying instead to have it both ways by telling different people what he thinks they want to hear. That’s not courage.”

Still, you have to admire Toomey for his chootzpah. Or not.

One race that’s gotten a lot closer than it initially looked is Missouri, where Secretary of State Jason Kander is playing the “not a Washington insider” game against incumbent Roy Blunt, and also seems to have gotten a real boost from the slickest campaign ad of the year:

Sen. Blunt has not yet assembled an AR-15 blindfolded, so we think that means Kander semi-automatically wins. Also, isn’t it nice to see a campaign ad where somebody does something with a gun other than shooting a bill they don’t like?

The great big Senate Girlfight in Hew Hampshire between Republican incumbent Kelly Ayotte and Democratic Gov. Maggie Hassan is expected to go Hassan’s way, especially if Hillary Clinton wins the state. Ayotte has been all over the place in her support for Donald Trump, and we honestly couldn’t remember whether she’d finally undorsed him for good, so we had to look it up. After the Grope Video came out, Ayotte said she definitely wasn’t for the hairbag. On t’other hand, she’d still like to cash in on Republicans’ hatred of the Clintons, so last week she made a point of saying she “wouldn’t want my daughter in the room” with either Bill Clinton or Donald Trump. That’s a month after she “misspoke” and said Trump would be a fine role model for kids. If she loses to Hassan, Ayotte has a bright career ahead of her as a spin doctor. Or maybe she doesn’t. But she might!

After taking his damn sweet time to notice he was getting whupped by a girl, North Carolina’s Richard Burr finally started campaigning against former state Rep. Deborah Ross, who probably has the advantage. Burr has tried to out-Republican other Republicans in recent weeks, suggesting maybe he’d never allow Hillary Clinton to appoint anyone to the Supreme Court, and incidentally making a funny joke about having seen Clinton’s face on the cover of the NRA’s American Rifleman magazine on the cover: “I was a little bit shocked at that ― it didn’t have a bullseye on it.” The senator later apologized for just joshing around like that; we think maybe people named Burr shouldn’t joke about shooting anyone.

Nevada looks to have one of the closest Senate races in the country; the polling has Rep. Joe Heck slightly ahead of former state Attorney General Catherine Cortez Masto, but a huge early-voting turnout suggesting the state’s Hispanic voters would really, really like to make Cortez-Masto the first Latina senator. God Emperor of Nevada politics Jon Ralston declared Donald Trump dead in Nevada’s presidential race, based on Democratic early voting turnout:

ralston-trump-dead

Ralston says Cortez Masto has the advantage, and we know better than to disagree with Jon Ralston.

We may as well get a disappointment or two in here as well, so how about Ohio, where we thought maybe former congressman and Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland might have had a chance. However the state may go in the presidential race, it looks like we’re stuck with Portman, even if Beyonce had backup dancers in pantsuits at Hillary’s big get out the vote concert. Ain’t no coattails on a pantsuit.

We feel compelled to make this a Top Ten or better, so let’s just say our favorite headline of the whole series remains our one about Indiana a few weeks ago, and Florida, well, I don’t know. Also, everyone in Louisiana is freaking crazy, and no matter what anyone tells you, Tuesday’s election there is really just a big weirdass primary. Finally, while he’s not in any electoral (or Carlos) danger, we encourage you to once again enjoy the Collected Twitter Stylings of Chuck Grassley.

Be sure to get out and vote, and for Crom’s sake stock up on guns and liquor.

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  • JVisconti

    Thanks for your service Dok. Nominating you for Senate Pro Tempure, mindful the position is temporary.

  • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

    As I said before, Heck did himself no favors when he decided to publicly unendorse Trump. He got himself booed mightily by the Trumpanzees, and even though he has walked it back a little (though he keeps telling people it’s “none of your business” who he is voting for, which was turned into an attack ad), there are quite a few who blame Trump’s woes here on him. The $100 million or so dumped into this race may be for naught.

  • Nasty Astraea

    It’s not a good time to be a Democrat in Ohio :(

    • Walter Wellstone

      I’m baffled by that. What the fuck is wrong with those people?

      • Nasty Astraea

        Middle class white guys who are pissed that they’re losing some of their privilege. They are really, really resentful at the people they perceive as getting something that they weren’t given. And since every single damn one of them sees himself as Horatio Alger in the flesh, that’s basically everyone.

        • Berkeleybear94

          This. Not just Ohio but pretty much the whole Midwest is full of white guys who have been gnashing their teeth since the 60s or earlier (and raising their sons to gnash theirs) over the perceived loss to the other of a status they never deserved in the first place. The kind of guy who a generation ago made Archie Bunker their role model because he “said what he thinks” are now seeing in Trump a real life character who at least, as far as we know, wasn’t written as satire.

          • Mezzaluna

            I don’t understand how they can’t see through his bullshit at the carny barker and con man underneath.

          • Nasty Astraea

            Anecdotally, some of them aren’t that bright. The rest can’t see past their anger.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Sure enough, they gots a legitimate beef; but they’re not doing themselves any favor by blaming the wrong people.

          • Mezzaluna

            Or picking the wrong champion.

        • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

          Steinbeck’s “temporarily embarrassed millionaires”…

        • OneYieldRegular

          Horatio Alger? They should start seeing themselves as the Grand Dragon of the KKK instead, since that’s who they’re aligning themselves with by voting for Trump.

      • yyyaz

        Apparently too many of them miss the good ol’ days of toasting marshmallows on the Cuyahoga.

      • BJW

        I’m in Ohio. Strickland has been running a lackluster campaign. Somehow, the Ohio Democratic Party is run by people who don’t know how to elect Democrats in important jobs, like governor or senator.

        • Nasty Astraea

          Yeah, that doesn’t help. I’ve been seeing anti-Strickland ads online for over a year, especially on YouTube. Almost nothing from the Strickland campaign itself.

          • BJW

            Yes! I don’t watch cable, but I’ve seen tons of anti-Strickland ads and Portman ads on Youtube. (We watch internet TV through the Roku.) Strickland was governor when the great Recession hit, and jobs were lost. I never saw any ads on Youtube that showed Portman’s weaknesses. My husband said he saw Strickland ads on cable TV.

        • jmk

          Is it that it’s been so long since they were actually successful that they forgot that winning, rather than just putting up some kind of defense, is the point?

          • BJW

            I wonder, I really do. They ran an embarrassment against Kasich. Strickland began his primary run like he couldn’t be bothered to debate his opponent, he was that sure of winning. That attitude seems to have translated to the general. Portman’s been clobbering him.

          • BJW

            I don’t know. I grew up in Ohio, and it was progressive in the 20th century (mostly), due largely to union auto workers. Well, those jobs have of course taken a hit. And apparently there are less minority (for now) voters here.

            The idiot the party put up against Kasich for governor was found to have been in a car, with a woman not his wife, at an odd time. There was an explanation if one chose to believe it. The real idiocy was that Fitzgerald did NOT have a driver’s license, nor had he had one for a DECADE. His explanation: “I was too busy.” That is when he lost.

            Strickland, IMO, acted like he deserved the nomination, ignored his primary challenger, and won. Then he continued to act like he deserved it while Portman and PACs fought him hard. So he also deserves to lose. (I will vote for him because he was a good governor at a bad time. But he deserves to lose.)

    • LarryHoudini

      Supposedly it’s closer there than the polls say (I hate sounding like a Trumpkin, but . . . TPM says that Hillary wouldn’t bother to show up there unless their internal polls showed it might be worth it, and supposedly the dem internal polls are top of the line).

      • Nasty Astraea

        That’s what someone said on AM Joy. ALso too, we can’t ignore the fact that there is no Trump GOTV machine.

        Still, many of us lonely liberals are surrounded by assholes and the polling is a depressing reminder.

  • Shibusa
    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      As I was saying, Wicker Yam.

  • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

    WOOOF! Was it good for you, too?

  • bubbuhh
    • ManchuCandidate

      Dirty Clint’s just mistaken real life for a movie role he once had. See his role as a SS agent who he mistook a guy with a poster for John Malokvich.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Poor Clint still hasn’t gotten over being responsible for JFK’s assassination. Talk to the chair, Clint.

    • BadKitty904

      I’ll wait for Clint’s chair to weigh in on this vital topic.

      • data_ninja

        Do you think the argument will have any legs to it?

        • Valkyrie

          The structure is pretty rattan.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Nevertheless, it’s rocking my world.

        • memzilla

          Lattice hope McCain won’t get his seat back.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Unfortunately, he seams to have a good size cushion in the polls
            :(

      • Mehmeisterjr

        It’s up in arms.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Christ almighty, Clint, go play “Misty” for me or something.

  • Callyson

    Give me some energy for today’s GOTV, LA Times linky:

    Final flurry of national and battleground state polls offers mostly good news to Clinton

    OK, that and my morning coffee should do it, thanks.

    • CripesAmighty

      Pump that PV count Callyson! Mandate, baybeeee!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I need to hear that…like 20 time a day!

    • JVisconti

      Was saving this for Wednesday, but in the event my aneurysm kicks in before then, stop dialing and hang up the phone Tuesday night and have a drink on me. Well done! (said from a person who has a predilection to yelling at Repubs on the phone).

  • CripesAmighty

    Figured Ayotte was done when she nearly fell off the stage doing the flopsweat shuffle in response to that ‘role model’ question.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Well, it finally happened. The “Savannah Daily Disappointment” endorsed Trump. I would have given even money that they would wimp out and not endorse. [sigh]

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I’m sure their list of reasons is very convincing; bless their hearts.

  • Master Contrail Program

    As it was four ago, I will be thrilled to see the usual inane commercials for local ambulance chasers and Activia on Wednesday………for a few days anyway.

    The War on the I-4 Corridor is such a bore I can’t take anymore. Hell has no ground floor.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Headline we don’t want to see:
    Nevada Goes To Heck In A Handbasket Of Deplorables

    • puredog

      I dunno, except for a loathesome reality quotient, that’s a pretty awesome headline.

  • proudgrampa

    The Senate thingy is over, the election is almost over.

    https://youtu.be/nsBByTiKfyY

    • Master Contrail Program

      Stay through the credits for the sequel hook!

      • data_ninja

        If it doesn’t show Samuel L. Jackson or the Infinity Gauntlet, I’m gonna be pissed!

      • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

        Outtakes or GTFO!

        • Master Contrail Program

          “Please clap.”

    • wurman

      Thank you. thank you. I listened to the excerpt. The closeout, though, showed the magnificent eyes of Nana Mouskouri, so I clicked on her Greatest Hits Vol. 2 and focused on her magnificent voice. Truck Fump.

      • proudgrampa

        Indeed. Isn’t her voice beautiful?

        • wurman

          Her voice is unique. Anatomically, she only has one vocal chord that vibrates with the side of her throat. She achieves a clarity that is astonishing. I’ve been a fan since the 70s. Like so many things, I get too busy for paying attention to music, and that closing screen took me back in time.Lovely.

          • proudgrampa

            Yup. I first heard her on an LP that a friend had loaned to me in the mid-70s. (Note to youngs: we used to listen to music on something called “vinyl records.” This was pre-digital world.)

            I knew about the single vocal chord thing and it undoubtedly created, for her, the most beautiful, pure tone in music.

  • memzilla

    When it comes to backing Drumpf, Kelly Ayotte is Schrödinger’s Candidate.
    .
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/89b3acf0c074b796cf1f85aae37649d5ae94f8b299434d93607522a2ab0365f1.jpg

    • Arolpin

      How have I never seen this before? I can’t count how many times I would see one of these tins and get excited for cookies, only to open it up and find it full of bobbins or thread or yarn to quilting supplies.
      I can only think of a couple instances where the tin actually contained cookies; we have significantly more than a couple of these tins, so are they sold pre-filled with sewing supplies?

      • NastyBosGrl

        Sounds like somebody bought the tin full of cookies and ate them all!

      • Berkeleybear94

        They only actually contain cookies at the goddamned store, and only seem to be there for five fucking minutes before they are replaced with a pin cushion made to look like a tomato and skeins of yarn.

        Not that I am bitter from a childhood filled with cookie false advertising or anything.

        • Bad Hombre Ron

          I’ll have you know that pincushions that AREN’T shaped like tomatoes do not in fact cushion the pins at ALL.

          • Marianrwilliams2

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !hm322c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !hm322c:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash612ShopIdeasGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!hm322c:….,……..

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      Fun fact: The pastry we know of as Danish were made by Austrian bakers. In Denmark. So, hooray for immigrant workers. OTOH, they were brought into Denmark as strike-breakers, so fuck them.
      EDIT: Had they stayed in Vienna, maybe we’d call them Wieners.

      • OneYieldRegular

        We’ve had enough Wieners for one week, thank you very much.

    • Valkyrie

      Brilliant and true in my household.

    • zerosumgame0005

      so you had the same kind of grand-moms I did! loved them but OMG even if you shake the can you could never really tell!

  • The Nasty Librarian!

    Many thanks, Dok, for all your hard work. You made me laugh, made me gnash my teeth (at all the loons), but most of all you made me an informed citizen.

    * I’ll be heading to the tip jar today.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I did that last week. (In a very modest way). I encourage my fellow Wonkets to do the same. Especially those who aren’t so modest.

  • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

    “And so began a brain melting odyssey through the races for the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body, a phrase that still makes us giggle even now.”

    https://madman731.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/tumblr_mtyzcmcnx71qgwt1uo1_400.gif

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Your posts on the Senate races were much better than “Cats”. I laughed. I cried. I want to read them again and again.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Makes one wonder if a party was capable of running on a platform that promises to limit the entire campaign, primaries and all, to six months how popular they would be.

    Three would be better, but my imagination is only so big.

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      Six months? Try the Canadian model – 57 days.

  • Taco Treg
    • RobKanC

      probably an hour ago. Nate is seriously on edge this election.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m sorry the future of the world is jamming up his business model.

        • Nasty Astraea

          How dare you question his model!!

          • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

            I think his model is working under an invalid visa in this country.

          • data_ninja

            ISWYDT

          • JVisconti

            Take Slovenia plus one (OK, maybe she’s a 9) in the next World Cup.

      • BadKitty904

        Nate needs to stick to numbers and stop factoring in the phases of the moon, his emotional state, the air-speed velocity of unladen swallows, etc.

      • JVisconti

        But his NFL tips are spot on.

        • Seek

          I don’t know crap about the foosball but got suckered into an office pool this year. I have been using the 538 predictions and consistently losing my ass. So fuck that guy!

          Perhaps I should have thought this out more carefully before I decided to give everyone else $5/wk. So being a good liberal I shall acknowledge this is all my fault. Sorry Nate.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Earlier this morning, it was around 63% in favor of Democrats. Nate Silver’s model is trying to divide by zero or something.

    • Berkeleybear94

      Nate has moved from outsider to insider and has entered CYA mode as a result. The model reflects a lot of concern over polling reliability rather than the poll numbers, which were the backbone of his stuff when he was a young blogger. I’d love to have an honest conversation about how Brexit (which he and everyone else faceplanted on) and his own Trump failures have impacted this model, but from what I’ve heard from him I won’t hold my breath waiting for him to admit he got spooked and is protecting the brand.

      • Taco Treg

        Thanks BB. Like so many others, I’ve relied on Nate’s data to continue breathing or not sitting on a park bench and just start crying. Appreciate that he needs to protect his brand but I know for me, this will stop me from relying on his numbers in the future.

        • Berkeleybear94

          If you want straight numbers with no apparent financial interest look at Sam Wang at Princeton Election Consortium. He’s a bioscience PhD with tenure, so this is purely a side project (albeit one he’s getting press and publication hits for in a way his science stuff never did). I will tell you though his Senate numbers (not his Presidency numbers) have always been closer than 538’s, and Sam overall leans Dem a little (he got sucker-punched by the impact of gerrymandering in 2012 for example – he called the vote trend but thought it would translate into many more Dem seats; to his credit he’s turned that into a basis for studying and countering gerrymandering).

      • Serai 1

        I’ll wait til after the election to decide if he’s full of shit or not.

        • bupkus23

          It used to be said that polls were more reliable the closer one got to the election – but I kinda think this election has broken that sentiment.

          Now, it just seems that there are too many polls and polling organizations – and most reporting on them don’t really make any distinction between “reliable”, scientific polling sources ( like Nate Silver ) or obscure, non-scientific polls ( online polling or polls with inadequately representative samples ). Of course, the media ( which all have their own polls ) breathlessly touting every new poll numbers ( without consideration of the origin of the polls, or whether they’re “outliers” ) only foster misplaced anxiety and/or triumphalism.

          I’ve kinda stopped listening to any polling reports – face it, the election is going to prove that MOST polls/pollsters have been FOS….

      • Left Coast Tom

        If I remember right, Brexit polls were favoring “Leave” just before that Labour MP was assassinated, then after polling begain afterwards they were “Remain”. My guess would be that people lied after the assassination, and the earlier polls showing a “Leave” win were right all along.

    • msanthropesmr

      I’m not sure I can pile on the Nate, just ’cause his model doesn’t show my heart’s desire. Although, I can’t figure out how his model is getting its trends – so I am a little skeptical of the model for that reason. But to flat out dismiss seems unwise.

      The Cure:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d466e5a352a29ed6403a2701df6af0c2850aba50af699e684ebcd354a988b0e8.jpg

      • Taco Treg

        I agree. It’s not so much that the numbers don’t reflect my desire, it caught me off guard at the significant change over yesterday’s numbers.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Hey he had the Indians winning up until the last game……sorry….

    • CripesAmighty

      538,…or 7, but sometimes 9…

    • Remember 538 depends upon a computer model and even Nate Silver thinks that, at present, the model grossly underestimates the Black and Latino vote

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
    • Crank Tango

      No Purple Heart?
      Fail.

    • JVisconti

      Patton and MacArthur are seeking best prices for lube to roll around in their graves

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      Think that he’d declare himself head of the Church if he wins?

  • jmk

    I appreciate your service, Dok – after all, it’s kind of fun reading about real Senate races and finding out where to send my out-of-state Noo Yawk-librul dollars, since Chuckles clearly doesn’t need them here.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I want to reread the entire election once it’s safely over.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Isn’t it fun being Out-of-State money interests? If Deborah Ross wins in NC, you can thank my big-money contributions.

      (Ten bucks)

      • jmk

        I do love being an outside agitator…

  • LarryHoudini

    Thanks for not bringing up Bayh. It seems like just yesterday I scoffed at the idea that he might be in the shitter.

  • MizzMazz

    Thanks for all the hard work Dok. It’s good to read about what’s happening outside of my little Cali enclave, and if I could, I would so vote for Tammy Duckworth. As it is, we have Kamala Harris, and she got my vote, but I would totally go with Tammy, if I could.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Oh, I don’t know if living in Illinois is such a treat, politically speaking. Yes, we get to vote for Duckworth, but we have to put up with that C. Montgomery Burns ninny of a governor who bought the election and has brought the state crashing to a halt with a two-year tantrum over union-bashing legislation. Plus the Chicagoans get to live with Rahm Emanuel.

      • MizzMazz

        We all have our jerks to deal with. Remember the stupid governors race in CA when Arnold was running (and won)? I was in Germany at the time, and everyone was making fun of us, and rightly so, but I had to sit at that dinner table, and say we weren’t all idiots…were we? I just think Tammy Duckworth kicks ass, and we need more people like her running, and less of the assholes and idiots.

        • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

          arnold was easy to imitate, though.
          got lots of requests from my friends in ny.

          • MizzMazz

            Yes he is, but he still fucked up things here, and that election was a circus, which I admit to participating in – I voted for Jack Lloyd Grissam, the lead singer of TSOL. How could he be worse than anyone else on the ticket? We get nut jobs on the ballot all the time.

          • Bitter Scribe

            It’s striking to me how Jerry Brown turned that state around so quickly and thoroughly. Proof, as if any more were needed, that both sides aren’t the same and it does matter who wins.

  • Tallmutha

    I’m tired of all this politically correct bullshit. Why not just come out and say it? Joe Hell.

  • msanthropesmr

    OT, but this morning, I saw the stupidest thing I have ever seen on CNN.

    1st Chyron:
    How has this election affected the journalists?

    2nd Chryon:
    What will journalists do after the elections?

    Hey CNN – how bout you all just fuck right off?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      There’s a story there, but so few of the foks on CNN this cycle are journalists that I wonder who they asked.

    • jmk

      Maybe CNN can revive its focus on missing airplanes after this is all over?

      • Nasty Astraea

        I’d like an update on Balloon Boy.

        • MizzMazz

          He and his brothers are playing in a Black Metal band now. No, really!
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hahr7Ma39QU

        • Carpe Vagenda

          You know, so would I. Maybe Andrea Mitchell can do a panel on what role Balloon Dad and Octomom will play in rebuilding the Republican brand under a failed Clinton administration.

          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            maybe anna nicole smith can also participate.
            what’s that?
            oh…

      • Master Contrail Program

        There must be some bodies for Nancy Grace to circle over somewhere!

    • MizzMazz

      That brought this to my mind. Hey, CNN:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a64-yFOS16s

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m sure there are still decades worth of “investigations” into the Clinton Crime Syndicate.

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      Oh, they have suffered so. Well, the ones who get threatened and spit on for covering Donald Trump rallies definitely have. But the others….

    • Mezzaluna

      Maybe they spend time looking at how they almost fucked up the country by constantly vomiting up rumors and innuendoabout how corrupt an unlikable Hillary Clinton is. They could look deeply at their lack of integrity and irresponsible behavoir and then fucke themselves sideways with rototillers.

      • Arolpin

        The Olde Englishe spelling of Fucke is so classy, but it works better if you go with ‘McCormick Reaper’ rather than ‘rototiller’. . ?

      • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

        almost?!

    • therblig

      what are these “journalists” of which you speak?

  • How come there’s not an option in the ‘Do you Believe Comey…’ Quiz above to select “TRIES TO BITE HIS OWN FART BUBBLES IN THE BATHTUB” ?

    • Shan the Nasty Libtart

      I’m giggle-snorting right now!

      • Berkeleybear94

        Careful – wouldn’t want to lose you to a mistimed giggle snort/inhaled coffee accident this close to election day.

        • Shan the Nasty Libtart

          It’s okay, I already voted!

          • Berkeleybear94

            Ok, but I’d still miss your wit and Kansas perspective as we approach Votemageddon.

    • Arolpin

      Comey** is a GORP!**

      *Auto-correct tried for comedy, he’s funny, but not ‘ha-ha’ funny.
      **When I was a kid and learning to swear, my folks told me anyone can swear, but it was more fun to use creative words. Dad told me to call someone a GORP instead, which was someone who eats his own fart bubbles. I just though he was making it up so I would never look at trail mix the same way again.

      • Berkeleybear94

        Don’t know why but at first I read that as GARP – as in TS Garp the brain dead father (sperm donor really) of the protagonist in The World According to Garp. But imagining Comey as a blend of raisins and peanuts works too.

        • Arolpin

          That is one of my top 2 favorite novels,* by my favorite author, and it’s not even his best book.

          *The other being ‘The Milagro Beanfield War’

          • Sister Artemis

            Both wonderful. I was just thinking I should re-read Milagro this winter.

          • OneYieldRegular

            Now I’ll have Dave Grusin’s soundtrack to that film running through my head all day. Not a bad thing at all.

        • I learned about this particular practice (participants are technically called “Twerps”) from Uncle Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut also reports other folks who liked to put false teeth in their ass and bite the buttons off taxi cab backseats, but I don’t recall the name for this activity.

      • puredog

        Is that a “real word”? Of course, I grew up knowing that the dictionary definition of a “dork” was someone who put his leg in the toilet and peed down it to avoid making a sound. Maybe that’s regional, though, instead of just batshit.

  • Nasty Astraea
  • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

    Pictured at top: Bow-wowery Bum.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Thanks Dok — that was certainly more research than I would’ve been willing to do. And hey, since the real power — of gerrymandering, that is — lies in local government, ever think about a series on the 49 state senates? Just kidding, don’t hate me.

  • Joe Beese

    “You do not know pain. You do not know fear. You will taste man-flesh!”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8e3620fc835eb417e296570e75e7ae66f4a04a381b9b7882981c9f826162128f.png

  • BadKitty904

    If the Senate races worry y’all as much as they do me, here’s something to help calm y’all’s nerves….

    This Vampire Cat Totally Slays at Being Adorable
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/black-vampire-cat-instagram-monkey_us_5818eb42e4b0f96eba96606d?section=us_good-news

  • Berkeleybear94

    Every Republican desperately tying themselves to Obama can pledge right now that in the midterm they’ll fix Obamacare, support the infrastructure bank and close Gitmo. Otherwise they and their pandering asses can fuck right the hell off.

  • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom
    • Shan the Nasty Libtart

      The hell?!

      • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

        IKR?

    • Berkeleybear94

      Somebody was trying to impress the boss on the first day. This is what happens when you incentivize a whole chain of people to be hard asses, by the way – one sociopathic rent a cop picks this particular victim for whatever reason, likely thinking she’d go along and he’d get an easy scalp on day 1. Wal-Mart (who chronically leans on public services they try their best not to pay for) presses charges because she won’t play along. An elected official who knows Wal-Mart can make his life made hell in the next campaign plays along even when there’s video showing it is bullshit. She is ultimately vindicated, but even if she wins the civil suit that’s time and energy wasted and none of it will make her feel whole (and a raft of similar actions that never went this far but were likely just as humiliating for the victims will never get their day in court).

      • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

        I know you’re a lawyer and a scholar, it’s my understanding Wal-Mart is one of the most sued companies in America (I guess that used to be ford?). Our extra credit assignment for torts is to discuss two slip n’ fall cases, specifically at Wal-Marts…one where the plaintiff lost and one in which the plaintiff wins. For the plaintiff wins case, I’m picking one that was reportedly the highest award for a slip n fall, some like $15 million, but I have no way of checking that.

        • Berkeleybear94

          There are decent tracking tools out there for a lot of things but jury verdict numbers aren’t one I could verify (they are often inflated by plaintiff’s lawyers and deflated by defense counsel in the press, and what the jury returns is often knocked down by the judge on remittur or in a subsequent settlement to avoid appeals, so it is a swamp). I know I personally have done bigger tort cases, but those were patent infringement suits spanning years of damages. The really big personal injury awards are almost always out of places like California and typically have a plaintiff with a horrifying set of lifetime conditions from the injury. I read years ago about a case involving a complicated birth that resulted in 36 million being awarded, but I’m not sure how that squared with California’s med mal cap.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            Yeah, that and reductions by caps, appeals, or lege if the states involved. When I was journalisming I had to write a “best lawyer of the year” stories on a (gorgeous) attorney who got a pretty big award (don’t remember exact $$) from an accident with a pool drain pump – where it sucked the kid down and held him at the bottom and they couldn’t get him unstuck. Major brain damage, full time healthcare for life (and he was like 12), not to mention future earnings, loss of companionship etc. He eventually died soon after, so appeals court reduced IIRC on the theory he would no longer need all that expensive home healthcare anymore. I know she was just doing her job, but I felt gross after that one.

          • Berkeleybear94

            There were a wave of those events – another way in which studying law will make you think the world is a dangerous, terrible place is to keep seeing patterns of bad accidents. That actually sounds less gruesome than some of the wrongful death cases involving pools and kids. I actually watched a juvenile court judge (who wrote me a letter of rec I didn’t use well and is now on the California Court of Appeals) have to decide to terminate life support for a kid who fell in a pool while in foster care – decided right then I wasn’t doing family court issues.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            I remember that. I believe that wave led to new laws about emergency pumps and smoe other tings. It was just a terrible case though. Civ Pro teacher was telling us about one where a kid’s family sued a football helmet maker after the kid hit a wall and was paralyzed. They were working on an inadequate warning theory, which was probably (definitely) weak, but anyway…horrible stuff.

  • btwbfdimho

    OT, “Donald Trump Rushed Offstage by Secret Service Agents”

    Lucky him, someone else paid taxes to keep those agents funded…
    What if we imitate “the leader”?

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      someone else.

      • btwbfdimho

        thanks

      • Rick Hill

        That just makes him smert…and us, stoopid

    • OneYieldRegular

      The Secret Service is suddenly “Great!” The FBI is suddenly “Great!” But to Trump everybody else is just a terrible sad loser.

  • BloviateMe

    Good work Dok, but I fear dancing with the Devil may have done irreparable damage. You may need the aggressive debrief after this. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4fa4921c06fa543ee031b15108d131af5bab60a1f4342768d8fba061e7a34d03.jpg

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      At least that won’t be hard since I am sure he isn’t wearing pants either.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    The world’s greatest deliberative body:

    “I’m rubber and you’re glue!”…………………..I know you are, but what am I?”
    https://thebrandbuilder.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/logo-politics1.jpg

  • CountryClubJihadi

    I fucking hate Kellyanne Conway.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      HEY, HEY! You need to stand in the line over there ——-> before you get into the Fucking Hate Kellyanne Club. Respect the velvet rope line! Got it! (said in muscle bouncer voice)

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      I finally caught Jake Tapper disassembling her on CNN this morning.
      Jake: [question]
      Kellyanne: [spin, lie, change topic]
      Jake: [repeat question]
      Kellyanne: [lie, change subject harder]
      repeat as needed.
      I’m pretty sure he was laughing to himself the whole time.

  • Joe Beese

    Take a moment to look at this closing ad from Donald Trump.

    From a technical and thematic perspective it’s a well made ad. It’s also packed with anti-Semitic dog whistles, anti-Semitic tropes and anti-Semitic vocabulary. I’m not even sure whether it makes sense to call them dog whistles. The four readily identifiable American bad guys in the ad are Hillary Clinton, George Soros (Jewish financier), Janet Yellen (Jewish Fed Chair) and Lloyd Blankfein (Jewish Goldman Sachs CEO).

    The Trump narration immediately preceding Soros and Yellin proceeds as follows: “The establishment has trillions of dollars at stake in this election. For those who control the levers of power in Washington [start Soros] and for the global [start Yellen] special interests [stop Yellen]. They partner with these people [start Clinton] who don’t have your good in mind.”

    For Blankfein: “It’s a global power structure that is responsible for the economic decisions that have robbed our working class, stripped our country of its wealth and put that money into the [start Blankein] pockets of a handful of large corporations [stop Blankfein] and political entities.”

    These are standard anti-Semitic themes and storylines, using established anti-Semitic vocabulary lined up with high profile Jews as the only Americans other than Clinton who are apparently relevant to the story. As you can see by my transcription, the Jews come up to punctuate specific key phrases. Soros: “those who control the levers of power in Washington”; Yellen “global special interests”; Blankfein “put money into the pockets of handful of large corporations.”

    This is an anti-Semitic ad every bit as much as the infamous Jesse Helms ‘white hands’ ad or the Willie Horton ad were anti-African-American racist ads. Which is to say, really anti-Semitic. You could even argue that it’s more so, given certain linguistic similarities with anti-Semitic propaganda from the 1930s. But it’s not a contest. This is an ad intended to appeal to anti-Semites and spread anti-Semitic ideas. That’s the only standard that really matters.

    This is intentional and by design. It is no accident.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/trump-rolls-out-anti-semitic-closing-ad

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vST61W4bGm8

    • MizzMazz

      As I have said before, he’s not using his own words anymore, This is pure Brietbart.

      • Bad Hombre Ron

        Well, pure Schicklgruber, via Breitbart.

    • Loadsa non-whites in that shot …

    • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

      so, it comes down to the jews, then, doesn’t it?
      so sad.
      *sighs, shakes head*

      • Joe Beese

        Don’t turn your back on this one.

        I’m a crafty mofo.

        • puredog

          There are Jews here? I WAS MISINFORMED.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Thanks for the series, Dok, lets hope as many Ds get elected as possible, because it will be necessary.

    On another site I frequent, someone contributed this from LGM:
    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2016/11/some-scattered-thoughts-after-an-afternoon-of-canvassing

    • Shibusa

      I liked this: “…Look, I get it, you white people* had a hard time with Obama being president so you need a racist president. I get it. I don’t like it but I get it. But what I don’t get is why you needed a racist who is so goddamn crazy and stupid! Couldn’t you find a racist who could actually know how to run the damn government? I mean, I wouldn’t vote for him–he’d still be bad for people like me–but at least he’d know what he’s doing? What good does it do the damn white people when Trump shits the bed? It’s not like there’s some other special country they move to when he takes this country down. We get a black president and he does a pretty good job, and your response is murder-suicide? You white people need to get smarter about how you do this racism thing….”

      • Joe Beese

        Only people on the Trump campaign’s mailing list are told about Whiteistan.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        *nailed it*
        Every scholarly analysis of this election should include it.

      • Berkeleybear94

        Magical thinking is a hell of a thing.

  • Shibusa

    This is worth seeing. Start at about 5:50….
    https://youtu.be/9v97xH6Bof0

  • Rick Hill

    trump finally unveils his actual plans for America, includes the highway system being privatized. Time to pay a toll every time you jump on a highway. Good things folks in red states never have to drive on the highways. everything is so close together in the midwest that most people just walk or bike.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-just-told-the-truth-its-more-terrifying_us_581e495ce4b0102262411844

    • JVisconti

      If they expect exact change, the time I spend looking under my seat is gonna cause backups.

    • data_ninja

      Kasich had a similar idea in Ohio to sell the turnpike to a private corporation, and then later decided it might not be a good idea. Probably because the idea of making a quick buck won’t have a good long term outcome.

      I think it just means he’ll try again at a later time. It’s a damn stupid idea.

      • revenant

        they did it in Indiana (it was Mitch “The Midget” Daniels, not Pence btw) and it was a disaster- as with aaall the privatizing schemes, it wound up screwing consumers and taxpayers alike

        • Berkeleybear94

          But it was hailed as a giant success the first couple of years since they sold right before the economy went to hell – which is all Mitch gave a shit about.

        • bupkus23

          And it ain’t just Indiana. From a 2014 series at “StreetsBlog USA”:

          Link: http://usa.streetsblog.org/2014/11/18/the-indiana-toll-road-and-the-dark-side-of-privately-financed-highways/

          Media outlets also noted that the ITR bankruptcy was just the latest and largest in a crop of privately owned tollway failures that now litter the land. In recent years, other privately financed toll roads that have filed for bankruptcy protection have included San Diego’s South Bay Expressway (also owned by Macquarie and the first project to receive federal TIFIA funds), South Carolina’s Southern Connector, and the Alabama and Detroit roads owned by American Roads. Many more are limping along and may well end up bankrupt, like SH-130 outside Austin or the Northwest Parkway between Denver and Boulder.

          Bankruptcy or default won’t necessarily eliminate the risk of a public bailout. The 12-year-old Pocahontas Parkway outside Richmond has now failed twice, largely because projected sprawl in its vicinity just never materialized. (Instead, Richmond’s core is booming, as in other metro areas.) Since TIFIA loans account for one-fourth of Pocahontas’ debt, taxpayers will eventually take a hit if the road continues to miss its payments.

          Trump’s “privatization plan” for infrastructure is just another example of his ignorance combining with his con game….

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            A quick buck from the investors. Then bankruptcy and minimal payout. Call the rest profit and move on to the next victim.

          • Elizabeth Warren should get it renamed Matoaka Drive just for Lulz

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      I always thought it was time I did more tourism in Canada. I see it’s become timely.

    • CripesAmighty

      Oh yeah, that’s gonna go over big with the crowd that thinks bike lanes are a One World conspiracy of the Illuminati to take their trucks away.

    • OneYieldRegular

      For coming up with this bigly huge idea, Trump Inc. will demand 50% of all toll proceeds.

    • NastyHombreBozi

      Trump’s America will look like this…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbWg-mozGsU

  • Serai 1
    • Rick Hill

      Mmmm….tacos.

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      Hmm. The salsa I like is on sale, as is lean ground beef. Taco Tuesday it is!

      • Miss Roni Raven If Ya Nasty

        What about the cakes we like?

        • Bad Hombre Ron

          I’ll check on Monday. Tacos and cake. Heavenly. <drools>

    • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

      A taco truck on every corner!

      • sw19headlesshorseperson

        A taco truck on every Tuesday!
        But especially this Tuesday, I hope. :)

    • OrG

      Do I get that taco on my corner on Tuesday or Wednesday?

  • Lucas Foxx

    This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs, with a side of corned beef hash, hash browns, crisp bacon, juice and coffee.

    • data_ninja
      • TJ Barke

        But it’s not over yet…

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      Part of a balanced breakfast!

    • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

      …Egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam;
      egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage
      and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam
      bacon spam tomato and spam…

      • Serai 1

        …spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans tomato and spam…

          • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

            Is it time to rape and pillage already? I haven’t gotten used to EST yet.

        • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

          Baked beans are off.

          • Serai 1

            Oh well, I’ll just have spam, then.

      • Lucas Foxx

        I.don’t.LIKE.Spam! Could I interest you in a parrot? Beautiful plumage!

    • Serai 1
      • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

        Now I’m hungry. Hungry for braaaaaaiiinzzz.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – my new dress fits! And it’s *Hawt*

    Anypony want to go to a rave? XD

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Donnie the veteran Trump voter has no idea what the Clinton scandals involve, but they were totally corrupt. And as long as he doesn’t lower the tone on 5th Ave by existing, he and Trump are good.

  • boyblue123

    Jon Ralston – “In NV, Trump is like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense, he doesnt realize hes dead”

    Well, that just takes the drama out of this whole presidential race. W/O NV, the path to the White House seems impossible

    • Mezzaluna

      I for one, am so done with drama. I just want it over with and Hillary going to the White House, the Dems taking the Senate, Darrell Issa taking a long walk off a short pier, and Trump so humiliated he moves to Antarctica to escape the contempt people really feel for him.

      • Fartknocker

        AnTrumpica – your new destination for Winter Games! Another exciting Scion Development. Try the Captain Morgan spiced rum drink “Melting Icecap.”

  • Shibusa

    I’d like to see Catherine Cortez Masto win, not just because she’s a Democrat, but because I met and talked with her a couple of times back when she was Chief of Staff to Gov Bob Miller. She was intelligent, low-key and gracious. Her dad, Manny Cortez, was supposedly the person who came up with “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” but that might be hokum.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    OT: Hillary’s team sent an email with the subject line “Stop refreshing 538” which is what made me stop going to 538 and screeching in terror.

    • Daisy

      I hadn’t checked it in a while before that, but the email gave me some comfort still.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Yes, best to stay away from that madness-inducing thing. Over the past week the swing states have been flashing different colors so often that Nate Silver’s map looks like Fremont Street in Vegas.

    • Sister Artemis

      I permit myself about 2 check-ins a day, after becoming obsessed after the conventions. But I also skim past the top line stuff, and look at the path graphic, which today (below, from a few moments ago) – and as I think Florida and perhaps NC will actually go for Clinton once all is said and done, I’m not as panicky as I once was. However, tempting wrath from things hit atop whatevers, and cursing and spitting, and all that.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/99c7a52887be3822fedf5c2a5e985ae8473bff774fdc0fbc033ec831c93859b5.jpg

    • Courser

      I’d stopped going there before that. What I was seeing there didn’t reflect what I was hearing about poll returns. Of course, I only started paying attention to it a couple of months ago, so it was no big deal to stay away.

    • puipui

      Princeton Election Consortium is so much more calming. They’re even giving the Dems an 80% chance of controlling the Senate (50/50 with America’s Stepdad breaking ties).

  • Markuserektus
  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Shan the Nasty Libtart

      Too late

    • data_ninja

      On the surface, there is the semblance of stability that is robbing Hillary Clinton of her most potent weapon: Mr. Trump’s self-sabotaging eruptions, which have repeatedly undermined his candidacy. Underneath that veneer, turbulence still reigns, making it difficult for him to overcome all of the obstacles blocking his path to the White House.

      The contrasts pervade his campaign. Aides to Mr. Trump have finally wrested away the Twitter account that he used to colorfully — and often counterproductively — savage his rivals. But offline, Mr. Trump still privately muses about all of the ways he will punish his enemies after Election Day, including a threat to fund a “super PAC” with vengeance as its core mission.

      This shouldn’t need to be said, but I guess we’ll still have to: If the campaign can’t trust him with a twitter account, he can’t be trusted with any presidential powers at all.

    • TJ Barke

      Donald Trump (R-Kindergarten)

    • Berkeleybear94

      Loved this part late in the article

      “Several advisers warned him that he risked becoming like a wild animal chasing its prey so zealously that it raced over a cliff — a reminder that he could pursue his grievances and his eagerness to fling insults, but that the cost would be a plunge into an electoral abyss.”

      So basically they showed him old Roadrunner cartoons and told him he was Wile E. Coyote.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I genuinely think that the crowds are his drug, and they’re keeping him stoned until election day.

    • Jamoche

      “As the aides agonized over which words to feed into the teleprompter, they become so engrossed that a hot light set up next to the machine caused Mr. Bannon’s Kuhl hiking pants to begin smoldering.”

      Where’s that promo clip with Judge Judy going “Liar liar pants on fire” when you need it?

  • TJ Barke

    Get a man’s gun like a M-14 you fuckin’ pansy.

    • At least it isn’t a P-90

      • sw19headlesshorseperson

        The Republicans should all get a P45.
        *british joke*

        • Well, at least I never got a pink slip, or even pink undies

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Or a SMLE.

      Five rounds Rapid, indeed. “Section, Mad Minute…commence!”

      • I’m sorry but the mad minute was 25 – 35 aimed rounds in a minute. The record was (probably) Sgt Major Wallingford who scored 36 hits on a 48″ target at 300 yards

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Oh, I know Hun. Just a Doctor Who joke.

          At Mons, the Germans thought the BEF were equipped with a machine gun per platoon, but it was just the accurate, sustained marksmanship of BEF soldiers with their Enfields.

          • Sorry,

            BTW look up “The Angel of Mons” sometime. Fascinating case study in how a religious fiction can fix itself as fact

          • Anna Elizabeth

            NP, I didn’t take your comment as a criticism. :)

            Yeah, I’m familiar with The Angel. *shakes head*. I think maybe some wrung out guys heard the Dragoons retreating with them, and semi-dazed hopefully believed the Cavalry was goibng to charge.

            I’m really fascinated with the early Great War, before it settled into trench lines.

          • Actually no, the original was a fiction called “The Archers” by Arther (Whistle and I’ll come to you, my lad) Machin.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh. I’d better look it up, then. :)

            I was thinking the thing where the BEF reported Phantom Cavalry. *brb*
            ETA – Oh wow. Machen was a *naughty* boy, putting out a short-story under his journalist by-line.

    • weejee

      In the Army, that was the first gun I on which I qualified. Shooting southpaw, I just loved the operating rod handle stopping just short of my nose snout every time I pulled the trigger.

  • Garbageman

    Excellent and well-researched – but kinda long – feature on the Rise of the Right in Europe and the U.S. (maybe it’s already been posted here, but it’s worth posting again):
    http://www.vox.com/2016/9/19/12933072/far-right-white-riot-trump-brexit

  • BMW

    Wait…this really is good news for John McCain?

    • dshwa

      Sadly, it looks like Bristol’s baby saw its own shadow when it poked its head out of the vagina, so we’ll have 6 more years of John McCain.

      • weejee

        Actuarially, dshwa, that’s not a sure thing regardless of Tuesday’s vote.

        / Do I have to add “with votes”? The rulez are sometimes confusing.

        • Seek

          Agreed, someone should have convinced him to take a little retirement. He looks awful lately.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Just saying, the look of dumb despair in Andrea Mitchell’s eyes as she clings to the idea that Clinton’s going to be repudiated somehow is like sweet, sweet nectar.

  • Daisy

    People named Burr really, really shouldn’t joke about shooting people. Also, I went into rant-mode to my roommates about Kirk being stupid and offensive with his breathing hole.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Sister Artemis

      a line of sausages, perhaps?

    • weejee

      Look! Up in the sky! Are those poison contrails streaming towards tRrump Links?

      • Querolous

        It’s a scientific fact that contrails are bad for you. To much dihydrogen monoxide in the lungs kills.

    • Objectifer

      “There was nobody there, I just walked right on.”

  • OrG

    Nope,no guns.Got the liquor covered tho.

  • JVisconti

    In a last minute childish attempt to get a ShitFerBrains deleted comment mention ‘Barack Obama known Kenyan Socialist will vote Tuesday’.

  • jowgajen
    • Sister Artemis

      THIS IS SOOOOO GOOD!!! was just going to post that – I’ll embed it here for convenience:
      https://youtu.be/NGGACRwYDo8

      • jowgajen

        I’ve got this on loop. Where can I buy the album?

      • sw19headlesshorseperson

        Apart from the diss on third party voting at the end, I love this.
        However, given the implications of Cheeto Mussolini’s antics even making it close, let alone winning, I’ll give it a hall pass just this once.

        • Nasty Astraea

          Sorry, third party voting is just stupid in the US and especially this year. It accomplishes absolutely nothing.

        • Sister Artemis

          I go back and forth on 3rd party voting. In Oregon, Clinton is a sure bet, so while I think it’s kind of dumb, it won’t hurt our electoral votes. I am suspicious of my friends who think Stein would actually make a good POTUS, but have a few who will write in Bernie, or some favorite celebrity, and HERE, in my state, I’m kind of ok with that.

          But I also think our vote for a president is not just a nod to the person we think has the best ideas. We’re filling a job; we’re hiring by committee for a position that has specific responsibilities, and requires a range of skills not everyone possesses. And to vote for someone who doesn’t possess ANY of that disturbs me.

          • jowgajen

            Yeah I’m sorry, Stein and Johnson are both terrible candidates and are doing their parties a disservice by being so terrible.

          • Serai 1

            When Bill Maher was bitching to Obama about how atheists don’t have representation and don’t get no political respect, I thought, “Well, why don’t you run some candidates that aren’t either morons or conspiracy freaks? Think that might help a little?”

          • shivaskeeper

            No it wont’. Try being an open atheist in a southern state, the kind of state where upon meeting someone for the first time, the first question you are going t be asked is “what church do you go to”, and running for any office. You couldn’t get elected dogcatcher there if your opponent even released a hint that you were a godless, secular, heathen, atheist.

          • Unfortunately P Z Myers isn’t interested in running for office

          • shivaskeeper

            And there is the problem with 3rd party under our current system. You in OR or me in WA can vote 3rd party all day as a purity vote or protest vote or whatever other justification we want. OR and WA are solid wins for HRC so no harm, no foul since the Dems get the electoral votes..

            But if we lived in say, FL, NC, or any of the other swing states not so much without handing the win to trumplestilskin.

            Under the current system 3rd party voting is selfish at best, “I’m pure enough to vote 3rd party, so the mess is all your fault”. The fact that the current major 3rd parties have no real local, county, state, or federal allies means nothing. As others have noted they want the big prize without having to all the tedious work for it.

        • Serai 1

          If third-party people really want to stop having vegetables thrown at them every four years, they should push to have ranked voting, where the voter chooses, say, three candidates and ranks them in order of preference. That way, everyone gets to vote for who they want, voters don’t feel like they’re being forced to choose someone they don’t want, and we get a far more accurate picture of who people want and who they don’t. AND third-party voters wouldn’t get blamed for fucking up elections. You wouldn’t even have to change the ballots, only the way they’re counted.

          • Sister Artemis

            If third-party people want to stop having vegetables thrown at them every four years, they should get busy securing positions at the local and state level, build their base, and develop platforms that actually appeal to a broad range of voters.

            What the fuck, people? It’s not an award show, it’s a goddam job application.

      • Serai 1

        She wants to fuck Ray Bradbury, so you know she’s got good judgment!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1IxOS4VzKM

  • sw19headlesshorseperson

    Only just came across this article. Fuck me, what a sociopath.
    http://shareblue.com/branson-trump-told-me-he-wanted-to-spend-his-life-destroying-people/

    (Trump, not Branson)

    • DainBramage

      I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s asked if a nuke can be targeted at particular peoples’ homes.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Of course it can. Just a little collateral damage to the neighborhood usually. Unless you actually set it off.

      • Jamoche

        He saw the Helicarrier targeting scene in the Winter Soldier movie and got jealous.

  • Nasty Astraea

    Everyone watched this yet?
    https://youtu.be/hxH6bKNPBIA

    • Mezzaluna

      OT Kate McKinnon is an actual pixie.

    • DainBramage

      Stayed up last night to watch it. Made me feel good.

    • Jamoche

      I’ve never before seen an actor break character and change his looks entirely like that – one second he’s Trump, next he’s unmistakably Baldwin. Really drives home what an excellent job he’s been doing. Emmy time!

  • Shan the Nasty Libtart

    OT: My son just got home from going on a motorcycle ride with his dad. He’d just finished fixing up his bike after he threw it down the road a few months ago (again). Two years ago, he was in a semi-bad accident and ended up in the hospital with a broken thumb, lots of road rash and some very bad bruising. And a bashed up helmet that would have been his head had he not been wearing it – there’s no helmet law in my state.

    So of course I didn’t want him to go. Like every time I hear him take off, I had to tell my Inner Mom SHUT UP IT WILL BE FINE. Otherwise you drive yourself crazy, right? I’ve ridden motorcycles in the past myself, so I don’t think I’m overly panicked about it. But I’m also realistic. I’m a careful rider and even I have come off a few times over the years. He’s a 19yo dude who likes to go fast and dart around in traffic.

    And he had another accident. This time, not his fault – his front brake locked up when he was doing 40 on a surface street. He’s a bit scuffed up but otherwise ok, just feeling sorry for himself and his disabled-again bike as well as his favorite pants being torn up. And me, I’m trying not to be too obviously thrilled that he put it up for the season and cancelled his insurance.

    • Daisy

      *hugs* I’m glad he’s okay, Shan.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      ~hugs~ I’m glad he’s not badly hurt and put it away for awhile.

      I used to want a crotch-rocket, until in 1992 I saw a guy on a Ninja almost get creamed when someone merged in front of him.

      No matters how careful the motorcyclist is, one Moran turning left without looking, and you’re in serious danger.

    • OrG

      I decided in my late teens that I could either have a motorcycle or drink alcohol.Pretty sure I made the right choice.

      • Shan the Nasty Libtart

        Yeah. He doesn’t drink, either. Or very rarely anyway.

        • OrG

          I’ve known plenty of people who do both.Some of them are dead.

      • snark-lurker

        i never thinked about it, mirracle i maid it, mebbee cause i started at 13 (sober)…over the years hit a tree, rearended a cah, laid’er down god so manyz timez

      • sw19headlesshorseperson

        I did too. Biking is amazing! ;p

        • OrG

          Yeah,but you don’t get that feeling of accomplishment that goes along with laying in bed all day with a haeadache and puke bucket.HA!

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Old guys on bikes man. Totally works for me. Not sure I’m the demographic they’re going for unfortunately.

    • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

      I’m glad he’s okay. I see plenty of daredevils on my way to school and back (2 busy higways)…tell him about the time I was coming home from a job interview, some riders where swerving in and out of traffic, a car tried to change lanes just as this rider went to change lanes. The car clipped his back wheel and sent him sideways so he and his heavy ass bike ended up barrell rolling about 6 times. The car behind him stopped just a few inches from running over him. My fat butt got out and dashed to te front, no one knew First Aid so I just convinced him to stay down. I was convinced he was dead. Somehow the rider ended up with a minor knee injury and a nurse eventually showed up as did EMS.

      • Shan the Nasty Libtart

        Yeah. I’m glad the brake malfunction didn’t happen on the highway.

        • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

          Around Texas they have lots of safety signs saying watch out for motorcyclists…and I do, but sometimes I think they can make themselves safer by driving safer. Dad said people ignore riders, but I’ve seen some riders who ride very dangeriously. I hope your son drives safe.

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            I have never seen him ride but if his driving is any indication…again, I’m glad he’s done with the bike for a while.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            I don’t think anyone would blame you.

            Theres a reason my mother started saying “vaya con dios” everytime I left the house after getting my driver’s license.

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            My Mom was like you when I started riding. Except she had no two wheel experience. I’m sure she worried a lot with out showing it. A couple years accident and ticket free probably relaxed her a bit. Of course my first bike was a Honda C70. Not very scary for either of us.

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            Oh, I’m sweet on small 1960s Hondas!

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            Rode it for three years before I joined the Air Force. They were in a “No Motorcycles” mood while I was in so I stuck with cars. But after I got out, I bought a CX 500 one of Honda’s first water cooled bikes. Muy Bueno.

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            The last one I had was a Cossack 650 with a side car. On the wrong side. Fun stuff.

            No wait. Honda 90 I think. Forgot about that.

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            I was looking for a Keystone Kop photo since side cars always remind me of them. But look what I found! Aren’t they an adorable pair? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5fa8ba67586b73a7c2ae351f9c0025040681da8cc7f203925bcab9427145e574.jpg

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            Ha! Looks like fun!

    • snark-lurker

      it’s a guy thing. boys due toopid. i aught to kno cause i iz one plus & 2 boyz on the road–1 harley 1 honda

      • Shan the Nasty Libtart

        I even paid for him to do a training course. Can’t untrain hormones and “I’m invincible!” I guess.

        • Sister Artemis

          It’s the “I’m invincible” part that really hangs things up

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            And makes insurance premiums go through the roof!

        • sw19headlesshorseperson

          Yep. As a biker, I see way too many “invincibles” in shorts and even flip flops giving other safe riders a bad name.
          Of course, the real problem is car drivers texting/phoning, painting their toenails, but that’s another story. ;)
          Hope he grows the fuck up soon (why exactly did the front brake “lock up”? FFS I know exactly why) – and I know it can be expensive, and depends where you are, but a race track day can teach him his limits in a safe environment.

          And yes, helmet, jacket, pants, boots. Because regardless of why or how it happens, skin grafts and broken/shaved bones are not fun.
          Be safe.

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            He’s good about always wearing his gear. He just does dumb stuff. I just need him to live long enough to grow out of it. Looks like I get 6 months free now!

          • sw19headlesshorseperson

            I hope so too. I know I can’t tell him anything, because what the fuck would I know (apart from riding in Central London for over 20 years, and numerous road trips in Canada and the US), but expect the car in front to be just about to do the most stupid blind thing imaginable and that’ll cut out 99% of any accidents. The other 1% is down to “don’t be a fucking dickhead”. :)

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            True. I learned to drive AND ride at the same time so I still drive like I’m on a motorcycle. Has saved me and my twee little car many times.

          • sw19headlesshorseperson

            LOL when I’m sitting in the passenger seat of a car, I’m constantly scanning the road ahead and looking in the wing mirror.
            There’s been several times over the years when I’ve yelled out “watch it!” when the car in front has hit the brakes or swerved lanes.
            Many car drivers seem to be on valium. The false security of being in a shiny metal box, I suppose.

            But again I guess it’s a few bad drivers/riders giving the rest a bad name.

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            Yup. Always plan an out in case of dumbth.

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            Assume everyone on the road is drunk, drugged or crazy. Then be pleasantly surprised when they yield right of way with a smile. And don’t forget to wave at them.

          • Kavefish

            Assume everyone on the road is drunk, drugged or crazy…

            “…while also too texting on their phone.”

            FIFY

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            Yeah. I’m still getting used to being actively ignored by Pokemon hunters.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            Defensive driving is a good thing. There is absolutely no reason for a rider or driver to trust anyone else on the road. Hell, almost half of them are goin to vote Trump. Nuff said.

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            I have seen a grand total of one(1) Trump-Pence bumper sticker. And that includes riding out in the more rural areas. I do see a lot of generic right-wing sentiments.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            We’re not rural, but we are a democratic island in tx, I think I’ve seen one bernie and maybe one trump sticker.

          • bupkus23

            I started riding off-road ( not competitively, and with lotsa rural lands to ride on ) before I got my driver’s license – and for years, I always advocated to anyone wanting to get a motorcycle that they get a dirt bike and learn to ride it off-road first. It was less the slower speeds and/or softer ground, but learning how to use body english and kick the bike around before facing the nard pavement ( let alone traffic ).

            I gave up my bike when I moved to suburban MD – and starting to see “real” amounts of traffic. Too many oblivious automobile drivers out there for a bike…

    • DainBramage

      I hope everything is OK, but I’ve known 2 guys who have permanently messed up one of their legs due to accidents while riding motorcycles. One is a formerly very active ex-Marine, but now his injured leg is shorter than the other, so getting around is hard. Car drivers just don’t see motorcycles.

      • snark-lurker

        me seen 3 buds go out on bikes

        • Shan the Nasty Libtart

          I’m sorry….

          • snark-lurker

            long time ago, 1 was crazy anyway

      • yyyaz

        And that excuse will get a poor driver jail in any other country: “But your honor, I didn’t see him!”
        Hizzonor: “Obviously you didn’t look.”

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      I’m a long time biker. And your son needs to be kept off his bike until he matures a lot more. That’s too many accidents in too short a time. It is time to lay down the law. If he wants to go fast let him try motorcross or just going to track days at a race course. Either one will get it out of his system in controlled circumstances. And the experience will help when he’s responsible enough to try the street again.
      Also insist if he won’t do that he should buy proper protective clothes. If he does go for track work full gear is mandatory.

      • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

        dirt bike/motocross track perhaps? Softer dirt, slower speeds, you get some height, sure.

        • snark-lurker

          seems to’ve woiked foe me. hit a tree once out & knocked out once both on dirt not fatal, WORTH IT

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I used to want a Ducati, and just take it to the track, but Hell, you could buy a nice car for what that bike would run, and I imagine you’d wear tires down pretty fast.

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          Definitely yes on the tires. And racing is one of those expensive hobbies you do for love and laughs. I’ve used bike as my sole transport for 30+ years now. Theoretically I should not have survived. But I do smart and careful and still have fun.

          • sw19headlesshorseperson

            Amen.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I’m glad for that. :) I totally understand why someone would race and enjoy it. Perhaps someday I’ll be able to afford the Mazda Miata w/ sports package I want, and have some fun at the track with it. :)

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            I have a Fiat Abarth. Its sportiness does not deserve me!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Those are cute! :) Stick, or auto?

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            Stick

          • Anna Elizabeth

            :)

            I had a friend, totally into Rally and such, had a nice Subaru, with a stick.

            He’s 46 years years old, stills rolls backwards on hills when the light changes.

            I want a Generation 1 Miata, they can take performance mods really easily, like I could do it myself. They even can take Racaro racing seats, just with a ratchet. She wouldn’t be the fastest car, but properly set up, the handing is superb.

          • snark-lurker

            pics or GTFO i like your shoes

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            My shoes…?

          • snark-lurker

            just sayin

          • Skeptical_thinker

            I picked up a 2005 Audi TT roadster for shits and giggles. Great fun!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Sweet! Oh, that sounds fun! :D

      • yyyaz

        It’s bad enough that anyone on four wheels or more is actively trying to kill you — whether they realize it or not. Add even one bad riding habit and you enter the zone of good news/bad news: the good news is riders very seldom kill anyone else.

      • Shan the Nasty Libtart

        He’s keeping himself off it!

        Anyway, he’s almost 20 so there’s not really any rules I can make about it. He bought it with his own money and pays for his own insurance – vehicle AND health.

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          Hopefully that last fall was the “one too many” that convinces a person riding is not for them. At least the winter weather should make it more convenient to use a car.

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            I hope so, too. But I already asked him and he’s “Nope! Gonna fix it back up again!”

            Ugh.

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            (sighs)

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            He just came to tell me he’s thinking of getting rid of it after all! Yay!

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            ?…

        • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

          Maybe a superb mom guilt trip? I got caught playing with matches when I was a kid and forced to hear about some relative or other died a horrible fire related death.

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            I’m no good at those. Besides, he’s heard all the horror stories from his dad, who has been riding for 35 years.

    • SayItWithWookies

      A cousin of mine was a motorcycle fool until he spent time volunteering at a local ER, and saw the head injuries associated with motorcycle accidents, even at low speeds with riders wearing helmets. If he’s looking to volunteer somewhere, that might be an option to steer him towards.

      • Shan the Nasty Libtart

        I wish he would.

    • jowgajen

      <—- This cat was named "Dave" after my friend David Fine. The cat died of old age, David not so much.

      David was a master mechanic for Volkswagen, a semi-pro motorcycle racer, and a mensch.

      I worked for his sister, Barbara, and met David when he came to help at the store for a few weeks while his broken hands healed. He had broken them both going over the handlebars of his bike at the race track and couldn't work while in casts on both hands. Being the sort of guy who couldn't stay home and do nothing, he came to help out at his sister's store.

      A few years later, David had another over the handlebars accident while racing, and didn't survive that one. He was 54. I take comfort in knowing he died doing something he knew the dangers of and still loved doing.

      • sw19headlesshorseperson

        People don’t talk about car deaths in the same way – which I think is weird, since far more people die in (or from) other vehicles than motorbikes each year.

        But yeah, do what you love. Life is short. And supposed to be fun. Finding the balance is the tricky thing – be it hobbies, work or anything in-between.

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          That’s because bikers and their families are an informal community. We care about each other because we know what it’s like out there. We even worry about those crazy squids as we cuss them out.

        • jowgajen

          I dunno I think we all drive cars and feel more in control of it than we are. We’ve done a lot to prevent car deaths over the past decades, and I don’t know anyone who has died in a car accident.

          I’m not afraid of hitting another car, but I’m terrified of hitting a non-car. Traffic deaths in my community usually involve a car + pedestrian, a car + motorcyclist, a car + bicycle/skateboard/scooter, etc. Sometimes it’s small car vs. large vehicle such as train. Also in LA there is a ridiculous number of car on building accidents.

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            I see bicycle riders on the sidewalk all the time. Have nearly hit several as I’m pulling out of a driveway or parking lot because it’s impossible to see them through buildings.

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      Wow. Hugs and commiseration – I have a nearly 15 year old son who sometimes seems to be doing his darnedest to off himself before he reaches adulthood.

    • Shan the Nasty Libtart

      Wahaaayy! Update: He’s thinking of getting rid of the bike! Because it wasn’t operator error, just a freak malfunction. Ok, whatever it takes!!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Glad he’s okay. I hope he was wearing a helmet and proper gear?

      Ironically it was a motorcycle accident that clued me in to my husband’s shenanigans, bc he crashed coming home late, drunk, from her house, and called her to take him to the hospital, but then called my daughter to bring him home (never called me). And my daughter told me wasn’t it nice that Sparky had taken him to the hospital. Yeah. A little TOO nice.

      So then when he wanted to use the insurance money to get a new hog I told him, oh, sorry, it all got used up by the medical deductible. (It hadn’t. And it just bought me a nice little kitchen in my new place.) We get our little bits of revenge where we can.

    • doktorzoom

      I readily abandoned my mother’s Catholicism, but have abided by her making me promise to never own a motorcycle, since her grandfather was killed in a motorcycle accident. (She was born in 1916, so technology, especially for helmets, has come a ways since whenever he died… but still.)

      • Sister Artemis

        I have a friend who promised her mom (a nurse) she would never get on a motorcycle. Mom’s been dead about 20 years now; every once in a while she asks me, do you think, maybe, after all this time….? and I say, look, that promise is between you and your mom, I want nothing to do with it.

        Keeping your word is a powerful motivator.

      • Shan the Nasty Libtart

        I only made my son promise to always use condoms.

        • doktorzoom

          Those won’t do a bit of good in a motorcycle crash.

          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            Dammit, I’m just too slow for this place!

      • Berkeleybear94

        Even now in my 40s I know my mom would give me hell if I got a motorcycle. She worked in ERs in the 60s and saw plenty of fatal accidents (she used to joke bitterly about how helmets at high speeds were mainly so they could do an open casket service and rip on all the guys riding imports in LA wearing shorts and tank tops as morons) as well as non fatal but gruesome ones.

  • Mezzaluna
  • So pretty much if you show up at your polling place wearing a ‘REPUBLICAN AGAINST TRUMP’ t-shirt all the potential Trump voters will run away like so many screaming scalded monkeys? Is that technically voter suppression?

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      The Reb voters are depressed not suppressed. All of those “thems” showing up to vote despite their best efforts is just ruining the occasion.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, hey, speaking of depressed Republican voters…

      https://mobile.twitter.com/ryanchutchins/status/795045254114189313

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        “Guilty! Guilty!! GUILTY!!!” Mark Slackmeyer on Nixon

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Comey is reminding me of the series of strips where Archibald Cox’ wife was trying to get him to stop poring over his scrapbook of press mentions of his bravery and go get a job.

          And, of course, Jeffrey Lord (the operative Reagan assigned to push Robert Bork onto the Court as payment for the Saturday Night Massacre) is covering the race for CNN and advising the Trump campaign.

      • John Smith

        Lock him up!!!

  • JVisconti

    Can Wonkette management rotate the Rudy G image from the home page, my kids are scared.

    • MizzMazz

      We’re all scared when we see that face.

    • sw19headlesshorseperson

      But Wonkette should be teaching kids to stay away from scary-looking men who grin too much.

      • JVisconti

        I guess that face should reinforce my message to stay away from the driver of the white cargo van idling outside the school.

      • Master Contrail Program

        It’s amazing that he takes time off from phantoming operas to stump for Trump.

    • Idaho4644
  • FOR THE RECORD: Jason Kander can field strip me any time he wants.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    O/T I may have talked my sister into changing Wednesday’s name into something less likely to get her bullied and sexually harassed and something that actually sounds like a name. My mom has a list.

    • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

      They can always pick a more mainstream name and then subject the child to a humiliating family nickname. It happened to me and some family STILL uses the nickname I had wen I was 6. But I’m not bitter. Yes, I am. ;)

      • Shan the Nasty Libtart

        My stepdad used to call me Shinola. Or sometimes Shiny. It was so sweet! Best nickname I ever had.

        • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

          You’re lucky, I had a contraction of my first and middle name, neither of which I liked, and sounded very very very southern even I don’t consider myself one.

          • NastyCatsVote

            Yup. We really liked the middle name Mae, but knew family would nickname her Ellie-May, so we went a different route.

        • DainBramage
          • Shan the Nasty Libtart

            I do love that!

        • snark-lurker

          everbuddy callz me jawz won’t say Y

        • Berkeleybear94

          I don’t think I’ve ever heard that outside of the aphorism “You don’t know shit from shinola.” Which I guess makes shinola a very good thing, but scratching my head as to it.

          Me, it was almost always a take on my weird last name – at least one of which it turns out was a mildly dirty word in Farsi, but all of which were better than the kids finding out it actually translates to “cuckoo bird”.

          • snark-lurker

            major major major shoe-shine wax OUaT. everbuddy had & used Shinola

            try shining shoes with shit

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Shinola appears to be a brand of jewelry now. Gives me a chuckle every today I see it.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Actually we picked out a couple of less mainstream names that are gaining popularity (like Race and River) just in case we still want that. My family is also really into picking male names for females (and it’ll be helpful if she discovers she’s agender or transgender).

        • Anna Elizabeth

          River is awesome for a girl’s name.

          How about Rain?

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I like that because people will almost definitely confuse it with reign, and my niece is a queen (of my heart).

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD Awws

            ~hugs~

          • Only if she wants all the jocks to ask “Is it wet, south of the border?”

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Pfft I can trust my niece to deck them with votes and rhetoric. After I start her early on Lilo and Stitch and Kim Possible.

        • therblig

          ms. blig’s niece’s name is Laken. when she was pregnant, i suggested the name “Rivern” as it would also be a body of water with an “n” at the end. also, i think it’s a cool sounding name. no go.

      • Shibusa

        https://youtu.be/RiQiTz3KWCE
        Naming Bart Simpson.

    • JVisconti

      Tuesday Weld is still alive and owns that name.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        She was a child actress so I doubt she was subjected to the high school stuff my niece will be.

    • Shibusa

      There’s a family in our neighborhood with kids named Porsche, Royce and Mercedes. I’m not kidding.

      • JVisconti

        Then there is George Foreman’s approach, just name all 5 of them George.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          My mom said she could have done Jr or the Second because “men do it”. I agree with this. Apparently if the baby had come on my birthday they would have named her after me. No one said anything to me on purpose.

          • NastyCatsVote

            I have a friend who just named her daughter after her. And my mother-in-law’s niece is named after her. She has a beautiful, classic name, so I can’t blame her brother for wanting to use it for his firstborn. It has made for some benign, amusing misunderstandings, though.

            P.S. I’m not much for unconventional names, but put me down for a vote for River. I like that a lot.

          • Berkeleybear94

            Yeah, a friend’s wife named their daughter very similarly to a young associate who was always in his office. He claimed he had nothing to do with it, but man the looks he got for months afterwards.

        • puredog

          Who says classiness is dead?

      • OneYieldRegular

        That’s some neighborhood. In my neighborhood all the kids are named Chevy, Buick and Yugo.

        • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

          Ford and Dodge per My Name is Earl.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          “Put it in “H”!”

        • Master Contrail Program

          Huffy and Scooter here.

        • JVisconti

          Poor Yugo never made it out of 3rd grade due to rust,

      • Shan the Nasty Libtart

        Not Pinto, Dart, or Impala? WHY NOT?!

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Not going to lie, Dart would be a cool superhero name, and Impala would be an awesome middle name.

        • Nounverb911

          Needs more Vlad the Impala.

          • nastymagyar

            Don’t start shit with Hungarians – we are nasty as fuck.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Sounds like Tuesday afternoon at my local strip club.

      • TJ Barke
      • Doug Langley

        I’m going out on a limb and guessing this family isn’t exactly trailer park?

        • Arolpin

          I had the exact opposite thought.

      • yyyaz
        • I hope Ariel is straight as an Arrow

          and Morgan doesn’t know the dirty rhyme

      • BadKitty904

        When I was a kiddo, one of the little old lady bank-tellers here in our town was named Rosetta Stone. I went from grade school to HS with a girl named Cinnamon Rice.

        • Lark_in_the_AM

          I had a girl named Candy Kane in my class.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Ophelia Bossum. Cruel parents!

      • yyyaz

        Well you know Yaweh was a car guy, after all he did drive Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in his Fury.

      • phoenix00

        credit though, “Mercedes” was named after the daughter of one Daimler-Benz’s best customers.

    • snark-lurker

      me always like Wednesday for a gurl name & never connected it to the meaning you imply, nevah even thunk it b4

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      Maybe she could just shorten it to Nessie.

      • Doug Langley

        Sure, as long as you like people chanting “Loch her up! Loch her up! Loch her up!”

    • Blacktop Cadence

      I now suddenly care less about my annoyingly common name.

      But I’mma change it anyway.

    • Berkeleybear94

      Kids will find a way to attack any name. Personally I like the days of the week – but I’m a fan of Jasper Fforde and his Thursday Next novels.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Like my mom said, it’s one thing to be unique, it’s another to be cruel from the start. Also see my comments below.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Just finished “The Big Over Easy”. Great fun.

    • BadKitty904

      My fave cousin’s name is Lakey (an old family name). No one in their right mind would even think of bullying or harassing her.

    • doktorzoom

      How about “Thursday Next”?

      [backs away slowly]

      Edit: and ten minutes late, I see from a couple posts down!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        There is a reason her story starts in her thirties.

      • Now That’s What I Call Nerdy

    • NastyHombreBozi

      This little girl is named Wednesday; she will eventually grow up to be one of President Hillary Clinton’s most trusted advisers.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ae8705b52c294f561a9a76992d8249958b6c5fe5a94f905abb1d998fe4637c64.png

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I said this downstream but let me say it again: I’m OK with the name as long as it has power (and sounds like a name). Wednesday has no power. Wednesday is a social construct. It is named after a male god. Absolutely not. I will not have her subjected to titters and jokes because of a name with no power.

      • puredog

        There was that actress, Wednesday Weld (no relation to the Libertarian veep candidate, AFAIK).

  • Nounverb911

    Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Sanitary Cafe*) credits Donald Trump for mobilizing the Latino vote.

    https://twitter.com/TPM/status/795330570746261504

    * His parents restaurant in Central SC.

    • Sister Artemis

      Well, he’s a bastard, but he makes the point quite succinctly.

      And I still want to get tipsy with him, do a little dishin’

      • BadKitty904

        As much as Ioathe his politics, THERE’S a man who could tell some stories…

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      Sanitary Cafe
      REALLY?!?!?!?!? ::guffaws::

      • Nounverb911

        (I used to eat there when I was in college)

      • NastyCatsVote

        Weirdly it’s not the only restaurant in the Carolinas with that name (there’s a Sanitary Fish Market in Morehead City, NC).

        • Lark_in_the_AM

          Lord knows we wouldn’t want to patronize any of those unsanitary fish markets. Are there health inspectors in the Carolinas or is this how people know where it’s safe to eat?

        • galldang

          Ironically, I got histamine poisoning from some maybe-not-so-fresh drum at the one in Morehead City a few years back.

      • Sister Artemis

        This came up a week or two ago in some thread or another. I suspect “sanitary” had a different connotation back when the cafe was named, and probably relates to awareness of food-born illness coming out of divey little diners.

        • OrG

          Um… isn’t that still what it means?

          • Sister Artemis

            well, yes, but we wouldn’t name our new little restaurant “Sanitary Cafe” now, would we? I think it conveyed more “pristine” or “well run” than “medically safe” back in the early and mid 20th century.

          • puredog

            And of course there’s always the Sanitary Market Building in the Pike Place Market.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Yup, and that’s why I was laughing – I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be defensive or offensive!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I should open a place called “Wash Your Hands You Dirty Bitch”.

        • yyyaz

          Motto: “We treat you like family. Whether you like it or not.”

          • Doug Langley

            “If you don’t eat your peas, you don’t get any dessert!”

          • Sister Artemis

            Years ago, in Talent, Oregon, there was a restaurant run by a couple of elderly sisters, where you just ate what they cooked that night, and if you didn’t finish your plate, you didn’t get dessert. Apparently it was well worth eating all your peas, which by all accounts, would have been delicious.

          • puredog

            And it’s still got New Sammy’s Cowboy Bistro, so Talent, yum.

      • nastymagyar

        We have a Sanitary Tortilla Factory (it’s a restaurant) in Albuquerque. And it’s dirty so dirty it keeps getting dinged by environmental health, so there’s that.

    • TJ Barke

      He’s so catty.

    • OrG

      At least Miss Lindsay is not bat-shit cray cray.Still an asshole tho.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Sanitary Cafe and Republican in South Carolina both sound like the lowest possible bars to clear for repeat customers.

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    Thank the FSM that we still have Sherrod Brown in Ohio. Strickland was not the best candidate, as he had the misfortune of being governor during The Great Recession, and of having the charisma of wallpaper paste. I dearly wish that the Ohio Democrats had someone with some fire and some ideas for recruiting good people to run. Can we borrow Howard Dean from wherever has him now?

    • Master Contrail Program

      Ohio’s Democratic party sounds nearly as organized as Florida’s. I swear they just go to the local day labor place and ask these people if they want steady, not very labor-intensive work for six months.

      • OrG

        Will Rogers: “I don’t belong to any organized political party.I’m a Democrat”

        • Lark_in_the_AM

          That’s doubly true here in Ohhiya, as the downstate locals call it.

      • Doug Langley

        There was one local position, treasurer I think, on my ballot. The Dem candidate had something like 3 bankruptcies and several convictions for misdemeanors, while the Repub had the endorsement of everyone in the time zone. That was my only vote for an R on my ballot.

        • Master Contrail Program

          D across the board here, not that the candidates were anything special, just that state politics have been in an inexplicable R stranglehold since I moved here in ’95.

          We’ve seen Allen West, so try the rest.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I feel like Republicans do the same thing but at company offices.

  • Nounverb911
    • Joe Beese

      When I did a couch-to-5K, I met my goal of never stopping to walk. But I did finish second-to-last, ahead of a 72 year old woman.

      To this day, I boast, “I smoked that granny!”

      • H0mer0

        that was like in an Internal Medicine trivia contest when I was the senior resident on the GW team, and Bethesda Naval kicked our collective asses but we beat Georgetown by one point.

    • NastyCatsVote

      That takes me back to the happier days of the 2012 election and Paul Ryan lying about his marathon times. Those were the days.

      • nastymagyar

        As if his chicken legs have ever ran a marathon

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • jowgajen

      But but calling Trump a racist because he is a racist is mudslinging and both sides and and

    • yyyaz

      Do T and A count as separate views?

      • Markuserektus

        Depends on your POV…

  • NastySnarkOff

    Was anyone else musing this morning about how much they miss Sarah Palin?

    • OrG

      Who?

      • Blacktop Cadence

        Sarah Palin. You know, the adderall and booze fiend from Alaska?

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          If you see her in the wild, she’s probably quitting something or grifting.

        • nastymagyar

          Adderall Libel!!!!!!!!!

        • Is she a relative of Michael’s?

        • OrG

          Which one?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      No but I was wondering how my sister got Bristol’s naming ability. Or rather, lack of.

    • Serai 1

      NO.

  • Dolmance

    I’m reduced to just a quivering ouch cube of shot nerves now.

    • SuffragetteCity4Ever

      I know how you feel. I’m barely keeping it together. I’m seriously concerned for my MIL’s health. She is stressed past the breaking post.

  • SuffragetteCity4Ever

    I’m grinding my teeth so hard in my sleep over this election that I now have a semi-permanent headache. I’ve been doing my part this weekend to get out the vote, but I think I may have to take tomorrow off and stay offline.

    In a bit of happy news, at our local ballot drop off (here in sensible vote-by-maillandia) there was a line of cars and a line of people at the box this morning – and the cars and people were alternating nicely. Not quite as moving as seeing the lines in NV and elsewhere, but I got a little teary-eyed.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    After learning that the Trump campaign took away Trump’s access to Twitter, members of the Clinton campaign are demanding that Donald Trump have his 1st Amendment Twitter rights restored.

    • Blacktop Cadence

      I bet his fingers are stuck like he’s holding his phone and his thumbs are twitching like he’s hitting the screen.

    • Nasty Astraea

      #FreeTrump

      • BadKitty904

        #UnleashTrump

        • nastymagyar

          #ReleaseTheTrump

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Phrasing, people. Phrasing.

          • sw19headlesshorseperson

            #TrumpTwit

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          “Leave Trump alone!”

          • BadKitty904

            I’d luv to. But he won’t go away!

    • Serai 1

      Is THAT what happened? I was wondering why we weren’t hearing any more pearls of wisdom. *pout*

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Yes, that is what happened. His campaign staff took over the tweets and are denying him access to his Twitter fix.

        • Kavefish

          …that one weird trick…

        • Idaho4644

          So they would trust him with the nuclear codes but not a twitter account?!? WTF?!?

          • nastymagyar

            Pence will have the codes. Not great, but an improvement.

          • puredog

            A diseased ballsack would be an improvement. Oh, wait —

        • ltmcdies

          fuck….you can’t trust the guy to manage himself with on twitter but …yeh….he’s fine to turn over the flippin’ command of the military.

          Trump is bad but his hangers on and enablers are worse…

  • Serai 1

    Just found a clip from Trump’s favorite Saturday morning cartoon:

    http://k31.kn3.net/9/7/7/B/D/A/8EF.gif

  • Nounverb911
  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Shoto

      I really liked it when he stared into the camera and told the media to “do your fucking job.” It cannot be overstated just exactly how much of a disgrace the cable teevee infotainment venues have been over the past 18 months. Nor do I expect them to understand that Maher’s barb was fired directly at them.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Tom Brokaw just suggested that Fox is usually accurate and Kellyanne introduced Cokie’s law to US elections last week, Chuck Toad says african americans lack enthusiasm, and (never Trump Republican operative) Nicolle Wallace says that the Clinton campaign’s reasoning for shoring up MI make sense, but are clearly a lie because it’s silly to suggest she’s doing the right thing for the obvious reason.

        So, no.

    • ltmcdies

      It was pointed out to Bill that print media has been doing their job but can’t get traction thanks to the noise of 24/7 barfflegab fest that is CNN, FOX, MSNBC….

      It was the guy from Washington Post who was given the Access Hollywood tape originally…

      • nasty taco truck vagenda

        David Farenthold deserves all the Pulitzers.

  • bookish

    The New York Times: Inside Donald Trump’s Last Stand: An Anxious Nominee Seeks Assurance

    Several advisers warned him that he risked becoming like a wild animal chasing its prey so zealously that it raced over a cliff — a reminder that he could pursue his grievances and his eagerness to fling insults, but that the cost would be a plunge into an electoral abyss.
    Taking away Twitter turned out to be an essential move by his press team, which deprived him of a previously unfiltered channel for his aggressions.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      So we missed his plans to establish a 527 to go after his enemies.

      Because no tweeter.

    • BadKitty904

      I was wondering why he hadn’t issued Order 66 yet.

  • Jennifer R

    Voted last week. Got mixers for Tuesday too.

    • bookish

      Candles and indica. Hoping both will last until Tuesday.

      • Jennifer R

        I should pick up something from the dispensary too.

    • puredog

      Mixers? Ah, they just slow it down. Neat’s the way.

      • Jennifer R

        I don’t drink much these days so the taste of paint thinner that cheap vodka elicits can take a pass.

  • Suse

    Trump’s thugs have succeeded in scaring his alleged rape victim into dropping the charges. I haz a sad for her and women everywhere who are afraid to get their day in court.

    • nastymagyar

      She was only one of, what, 15? Still disgusting what the did to her, but there’s still hope for the rest of the cases

      • Suse

        I think she was the only one to claim actual rape.

        • puredog

          And not only statutory but “legitimate” (thanks, Rep. Akin!), accompanied by violence.

    • mackafritz

      After seeing what they did to a guy carrying a sign, I don’t blame her.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I hope once this whole thing calms down she’ll bring him back to court. Ugh that makes me sick to my stomach.

  • Joe Beese

    The Nate and Powerful Oz is a little hurt.

    To be honest, I’m kind of confused as to why people think it’s heretical for our model to give Trump a 1-in-3 chance — which does make him a fairly significant underdog, after all.

    http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/election-update-dont-ignore-the-polls-clinton-leads-but-its-a-close-race/

    • Sister Artemis

      Eh, I think Nate’s trying to de-escalate the panic.

    • mackafritz

      I see his point. He’s just at the low end for a Clinton win.

    • boyblue123

      Keep in mind he still thinks NV is a straight toss up when Jon Ralston has pretty much declared it all but over

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      He also predicted after the Indians won game 3 of the WS that there was a 78% of Cleveland winning it all. I’ve decided Nate Silver is as full of shit as every other pollster.

  • Sister Artemis

    OT: just netflixed (? did I break the english language there?) an West Wing episode that was pretty interesting – season 3 ep. 19* is a “special” episode featuring interviews with WH staff from.several administrations, including comments by Presidents Carter, Ford, and Clinton. (the episode was filmed in 2002)

    Dame Peggington Noonington makes several appearances, as do numerous former Press Secretaries. There’s even a Karl Rove moment, and Kissinger comments on the way the WH functions in a pretty insightful way, the old bastard.

    In any case, interesting in light of this last week of choosing not just a President, but the administration they will bring in, and for WW junkies, a lot of choice snippets from the show mixed in too.


    * S.3 Ep.19 in netflix land; at IMDB ep.19 is netflix’s ep. 20. What’s up people? get your notations in order!

    • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

      started rewatching from scratch last week. Good show.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I just said “phantoming” downthread if you’re looking for precedent.

      • Sister Artemis

        Hey, I graduated from a college that used “seminar” as a verb. I’ve come to love verbing a noun.

        • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

          Ugh, instructor says “proving up”….isn’t that just proving?

          • Shoto

            Is that like when NASA ground control says, “Go for throttle up,” only with proving stuff?

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            Real lawyers would know better than me, but I think they use it that way because it’s in response to a series of questions that establish the basis for evidence – so it says, these are the records and these are all the records, but in more questions.

            Anyway, around here I use journalisming cause it makes me laugh.

          • nasty taco truck vagenda

            I thought it was journamalisming.

          • Doug Langley

            Quick Quiz: what was the very last thing the Challenger crew heard from Mission Control?

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            That phrase.

          • Sister Artemis

            yes, but more bigly

          • Berkeleybear94

            It’s a legalism – basically refers to the process of proving something in court, not the actual result (so you can be trying to prove up your case but never get to a point the jury believes you), the way a “proof” of a theorem is the whole work and may actually not be proof because of a math error.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            I knew you’d explain it… ;)

          • Berkeleybear94

            Can’t stop myself- it is an annoying saying though, along with “offer of proof” and people misusing hearsay all the damn time.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            Nah, I love it. Some of my instructors are not terribly clear. That phrase was never uttered in class but was on the test. I knew what she meant, but wasn’t sure. Thanks!

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            How do people use hearsay wrong? Do they call it “a hearsay”?

          • puredog

            It’s the kind of thing that tempts me to motion the court, as do so many of my brethren. (But only after vore dyre.)

        • Master Contrail Program

          In that case, do I ever have a preposition for you!

          Uhhh……inside!

        • Doug Langley
        • Yr. Gma

          By the time you find the seminar room for the seminar, I will have already seminared. Seminarly.

          • Sister Artemis

            So, you’re a Evergreen grad too?

          • Yr. Gma

            Hahaha. Worse.

    • Nasty Astraea

      Ok ok, I’m getting my DVDs out. Stop twisting my arm.

      The box set doesn’t reset the episode #s each season so there’s yet another episode #! Trying to figure out which one it is.

      • Sister Artemis

        It’s a “special episode” in Netflix lingo. It might be a DVD extra, or even a compilation of DVD extras.

        In any case, it’s towards the end of Season 3 in the Netflix line up, so it’s probably on those DVDs

        • Nasty Astraea

          ahh

        • Berkeleybear94

          Oh it is there – I’ve seen it on my cool boxed set – but it is the Documentary Special at the end of Season 3.

    • Berkeleybear94

      I know season 3 is the one they pre-empted the planned run to do Isaac and Ishmael, their 9/11 but not 9/11 episode. So the numbering might be off for that reason.

      • Sister Artemis

        I love the Isaac and Ishmael episode

        • Berkeleybear94

          It is really good – like a lot of their stuff about the only place one network TV you ever see people willing to get into topics like the origin of religion, bedrock ideas of western society like pluralism and inclusion and all without being insulting to either people of faith or skeptics.

        • artem1s

          I love Isaac and Ishmael for this one quote alone

          GIRL 1
          Yeah, but weren’t we terrorists at the Boston Tea Party?

          SAM
          Nobody got hurt at the Boston Tea Party. The only people that got hurt was some fancy boys who didn’t have anything to wash down their crumpets with. We jumped out from behind bushes, while the British came down the road in their bright red jackets, but never has a war been so courteously declared. It was on parchment with calligraphy and “Your highness, we beseech you on this day in Philadelphia to bite me, if you please.”

  • Shoto

    “…the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body, a phrase that still makes us giggle even now…”

    You obviously have a far stronger constitution than I do. When I hear that phrase, it reduces me to episodes of Exorcist-style, spinning-head projectile vomiting.

  • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

    YAY! DFS is up.

    • Suse

      ???

      • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

        Whoops, meant dear shit for brains…my bad.

        • Suse

          Ah, thanks.

  • cheetojeebus

    Re stopping Issa’s reelection. I’ve got my gris gris all hooked up and ready to curse, I just can’t remember the incantation?

    • Notreelyhelping

      Gris gris gumbo ha-ha!

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      “Issa sucks!” will work.

  • Suse

    Ted Nugent is supposed to be appearing with his master today in Michigan.

  • Pretty all of the major news outlets as of today are now openly mocking Trump and his staff, and TPM just called his campaign rallies ‘febrile’, which is a terrific word.

    I think last night’s VERY EXCITINGLY TELEGENIC ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT may have been the gold leaf gilt straw that finally broke this camel’s back.

    I think the county has collectively decided nobody from this point forward gives two fucks about Trump and his Usual Gang of Idiots* – just in time for the election.

    *No offense intended, MAD artist and writers.

    • Suse

      They are saying the guy was a Dem plant. Of course they are!

      • What’s encouraging to me is I’ve noticed today instead of leaving that hanging unquestioned most teevee journalist are pretty much retorting “That’s ridiculous!” and snickering at whatever Trumpette is spouting that line.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          They had one job…

          I’m kind of fascinated that they’re pretty much not even pretending they didn’t fight to hand this to Trump.

      • Jamoche

        It’s the same thing I see in the Slacktivist takedown of Left Behind: these are people who are fundamentally incapable of understanding that other people have different opinions. You’re either on the only obvious right side, or you’re being willfully disobedient. It doesn’t matter to them what form that “disobedience” takes, any more than it matters why a 2-year old is having a meltdown.

        Hence a world which consists of nothing but Trump supporters and Dem plants.

  • puipui

    I went out last night and bought a large bottle of Midori, a bottle of sour mixer, a bag of ice, and a drinking bottle that holds a quart at a time.

    I am ready for Tuesday night, but possibly not for Wednesay morning.

    • nastymagyar

      Holy fuck, that’s dedication. I’ve had a few Midori hangovers – they’re brutal

    • Sister Artemis

      Leave yourself a big “Take These Now!” note by your bed, with a BIG glass of water and some aspirin/ibuprofen, and be sure to actually get it ALL in you before you pass out. Your morning will be fuzzy, but considerably less horrible.

  • Jamoche

    “This is your brain on drugs” is back. The pitch now is that the teenage kids of people who were teens when that first came out will be asking their parents about drugs. Funny, none of those kids are asking “did you really think that fried egg analogy made sense?”

    No. No we didn’t.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Mrs. Greenspan just disappeared the 50k absentee vote advantage for Clinton in MI.

    • Suse

      Go home, Andrea.

  • Spurning Beer

    Kelly Ayotte would not qualify as a spin doctor. Also not as a spin nurse practitioner, spin physician assistant, spin medical assistant, or spin medical receptionist. At best, she could get a position as a spin pharmaceutical representative, if she brought really good catered lunches for all the staff, and cool swag.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Cool educational swag.

      • H0mer0

        yes, educational swag, no jackets with “VIAGRA” emblazoned upon them (my favorite was the Levitra (a competitor) pen that was a folding pen that would pop open and unfold when you pushed a button.)

    • SeeTrain65

      During every congressional hearing, she had a pat, preprogrammed answer for everything right off the top of her head. During the the debate, she had trouble searching for the words.

      Couldn’t happen to a more deserving dingbat.

  • smr06va

    HUGE — new Comey letter says no change on results of investigation after review of e-mails…….on CNN now….

  • Left Coast Tom

    I pulled a 1998 Margaux from my wine rack for Tuesday night, so I can properly celebrate the upcoming wins of Clinton and Harris (CA-Sen).

  • Paperless Tiger

    Speaking of coattails, the weirdest part of this election is some Republicans trying to hitch a ride on Obama’s coattails, and he’s neither a Republican nor running for office. That’s gotta be a violation.

    • Thorn Spike

      No, just desperation.

      • Stulexington

        Or an even deeper detachment from reality than we originally feared.

  • mml1996

    Biggest disappointments – OH, IA, FL, AZ
    Biggest surprises – MO, NC, IN

    Please god, on Tuesday, I have only one other wish apart from making me pass my Macroeconomics Exam and Hillary Clinton being Preznit –

    Kick Toomey, Ayotte, Young, Johnson, Burr, Blunt and Heck to the curb (with votes!). And if you can – toss Rubio into the bin too (with votes and a whole bag of dicks).

    Amen.

    • Jared James

      If we lose Ohio, but win Missouri and Pennsylvania or Virginia, Florida can go back to being That Place Weird Headlines Spontaneously Spawn Every Weekend with our blessing, regardless of its (predictably ridiculous) outcome.

  • Marianrwilliams2

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !hm323c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !hm323c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash613TopIdeasGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!hm323c:….,….

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