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After a whole bunch of stories about the revolting steps any number of states have taken to restrict voting this year, we’re happy to say the federal judiciary is coming to the rescue at the last minute, as reliably as the last ten minutes of any given episode of Lassie. Let’s take a quick look at how courts have thwarted Republican efforts to throw democracy down a well:

In Ohio, a federal judge has issued an order blocking the Trump campaign and a sleazy group led by sleazy Trump operative Roger Stone from intimidating voters at polling places. That means no hindering voters, no questioning them, no taking photos, videos, or recordings of voters in or around polling places. Just for balance, U.S. District Judge James Gwin applied the same restrictions to the Hillary Clinton campaign, even though she hasn’t been yelling at campaign rallies to go keep an eye on certain people as they vote. Not surprisingly, the Trump campaign has already appealed the ruling. You know, Lassie never whined like that.

In Arizona, a federal appeals court threw out that state’s idiotic ban on volunteers collecting absentee ballots and delivering them to polling places, which was passed after several rightwing media sites just plain lied that a 2014 video of a Hispanic man delivering ballots was evidence of “ballot box stuffing.” This time, the state and the Arizona GOP have filed an appeal together. It’s unclear how much impact the ruling will have this close to the election, but if the injunction is upheld, it could mean quite a few absentee ballots that hadn’t been mailed can be collected by volunteers and delivered to election sites.

UPDATE: Well, poop. The Supreme Court blocked the federal appeals court ruling this morning, putting the restrictions on ballot collection back in place, at least until the full U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit considers the lawsuit in January. Full explainer at SCOTUSblog. Since there were no formal dissents from the ruling, there’s no telling who voted how. SCOTUSblog notes that 26 other states have similar laws; the challengers to the law noted that even its supporters had not identified a single case of voter fraud associated with the practice of absentee ballot collection, and that it has been “one of the most popular and effective methods of minority voting in Arizona.” So it goes.

And in North Carolina, federal Judge C. Loretta Biggs ordered three counties to immediately restore the registration of thousands of voters who had been taken off voting rolls after a coordinated Republican effort to purge black voters. Judge Biggs found the mass purges of voters violated the federal “Motor Voter law,” which prohibits systemic removal of voters close to election day. The registrations had been purged after Republican activists sent letters to tens of thousands of registered voters, then petitioned county elections boards to purge anyone whose letter was returned as undeliverable, a process the judge said appeared antiquated and “insane” in an emergency hearing held Wednesday. The counties have said they will comply and let people vote, but the state is considering a challenge of the ruling after the election.

Here’s Rachel Maddow from Friday with more on the rulings; note that at the time of the broadcast, the Ohio ruling had not yet been handed down.

Also, while this was a state, not a federal ruling, a Kansas judge has permanently prohibited the state from enforcing its insane “two tier” voting law, which required voters to provide a birth certificate in order to vote in both federal and state elections. The federal “Motor Voter” law prohibited the state from requiring anything for registration more than a statement affirming they are citizens, as well as some proof of residency. Secretary of State Kris Kobach ingeniously tried to subvert that by allowing those who’d registered under the federal law to vote only in federal elections, while demanding proof of U.S. citizenship, such as a birth certificate or passport, to be able to vote in state and local races. The new ruling will let all registered voters vote on all parts of the ballot, like in sane places. Kobach, of course, plans to appeal, both to prevent nonexistent voter fraud, and also because he’s an insufferable prick.

Now, with voting restrictions falling all over the place, people simply need to get their asses to the polls. And, of course, prepare for the inevitable Civil War that’s coming when Hillary Clinton tries to take all the guns away.

Note: if you’re paywalled out of the WSJ story, just google the title, “Federal Courts in Ohio, Arizona and N.C. Issue Voting Rulings Favoring Democrats” and you should be able to read it.

[WSJ / Arizona Republic / Chicago Tribune / MSNBC / Kansas City Star / NYT Update: SCOTUSblog]

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  • mancityhombres

    that picture….you just don’t know….um….I already voted but I’m ready to vote again

    • Vote early! Vote often! It’s the Chiago way!

      • mancityhombres

        again and again until I’m just so damn tired I cant pull the lever or push on the screen anymore
        wait

        • That seems like there should be a sex and/or dick joke there…

          • mancityhombres

            could be, but you’re canadian
            coreybusiness@hotmail.com
            upfist and I’ll edit it

          • theCryptofishist

            I was going to go for rat with electrode to pleasure center thing, but yours works.

      • Major_Major_Major

        I’m pretty tired, what with all the driving time needed to keep voting. If those ill eagles stepped up the border crossings (Canuckistans as well), us poor ‘Merkans could take it easy like Jesus wrote into the Constitution.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “The dead are rising from their graves…and voting for Sideshow Bob!”

    • Royal Ugly Hombre

      I’ll be in my bunk. Er, voting booth.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It’s one of my favorite recurring Wonket photos. I really never get tired of that one.

      • mancityhombres

        I haven’t been her long enough to see that it’s recurring.
        huh.
        still, I’ll be in my bunk.

  • The Nasty Librarian!

    Well, that’s a breath of fresh air. Kudos to the judges in these districts. Message to the GOP: if your candidate can’t win fair and square, maybe you need to rethink your platform? Just a thought……

    • Major_Major_Major

      But but, but, big tent, somethin’ somethin’

  • mancityhombres

    also, if they’re on google, right click and “open link in incongnito window”
    gets you around the pay sites.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Memo to vile asshat John Roberts: Racism is still a thing, particularly in the states where it historically was most a thing.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • ManchuCandidate

    It amuses/saddens/disgust/annoys me that the party that shrieks endlessly about the Free Market and personal choice is sacred won’t let people make their choice in the free market of policy/ideas aka election.

    Why is the GOP keep propping up the bad/hopelessly stupid/crazy ass aka the K-mart of ideas*?

    *I know why, but it still needs be asked in public.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They have a concept of “free market” that Adam Smith would laugh at…and actually did if you read The Wealth of Nations, which they have not.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        they don’t have a clue what a free market actually is- their entire philosophy is “we must do whatever is best for me, the rest of you are screwed”

  • BloviateMe

    Ahh yes, that pictures brings back fond mammaries of voting.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Voting is the mother’s milk of democracy, after all.

      • Fartknocker

        On Wednesday morning it’s going to be tits up for 50% of the candidates.

        • theCryptofishist

          (Technically, more. Jill Stein, for instance.)

          • Daisy

            Who?

          • theCryptofishist

            Just another crazy running for President…

            And nice way to mess with me.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Isn’t she the lunatic doctor who wants your kid to get measles?

      • The Wanderer

        And the GOP are trying to dump rennet into the milk to make it curdle.

        • theCryptofishist

          They’ve always been a cheesy party. Of course, the Dems have that “Wine and Cheese” reputation. Or did they lose that when they went for lattes?

          • Sister Artemis

            lattes and biscotti?
            mochas and muffins?
            cappuccinos and those cakes we like?

          • Elderflower pressé and Lebekuchen

          • theCryptofishist

            (And the repubs are probably spray cheese when you get to it…)

  • JVisconti

    What builds character more than having an AZ oldz walking a mile to the booth ballot in hand, uphill both ways.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    In other news, a Federal judge ruled that
    1) Calling out “shotgun” first does not automatically get you Park Place
    2) Donald Trump does not always get to be the race car
    3) The Free Parking Jackpot is a dumb idea that should not be used

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Fucking Kennedy decided screw us up and stay the ninth’s block on AZ’s idiotic law. Oh, we’ll get our day in court… in January.

  • doktorzoom

    Well, nuts; SCOTUS went and reversed the appeals court injunction against the AZ law; article has been updated.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I’m gonna guess Breyer fucked us on that one?

      • theCryptofishist

        See, Latverian Diplomat may actually know something.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          I deny all knowledge of…knowledge. :-)

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Kennedy granted the stay

      • doktorzoom

        SCOTUSblog says it was sent to Kennedy, who could have stayed it on his lonesome, but he referred it to the full court. No written dissents, so it’s not clear who if anyone voted against the stay. Only thing for sure is it wasn’t 4-4, which would have let the 3-judge appeals court panel decision stand.

        • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom
        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I see that in the last paragraph of the SCOTUSBlog article now. I had originally looked at the actual stay that he signed- it didn’t show full court review. Interesting that they all apparently (or at least enough of them w/o dissent) chose to uphold this crap law on the flimsy pretext that it can be addressed in January.

          • theCryptofishist

            Yeah, I can see Breyer just rolling over on that.

            (Which is a pun, not any sort of political or court insight.)

        • puredog

          Is that true for interlocutory matters as well as final judgments? Makes sense, but, learn something new every day.

  • Scooby

    Supreme Court reinstated Arizona ban on 3rd parties.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “AZ absentee ballots found wrapped in tortillas. Taco Trucks suspected.”
    — Breitbart

  • Walker

    Call me a cynic, but I’m starting to suspect that maybe there is a reason that none of the Guardians of Privilege states have followed Oregon’s lead in all-mail elections with universal registration.

    For a few years now, I’ve been promoting the idea that we need compulsory ballot return too — that is, you don’t have to vote, but you have to return the ballot to the elections office so that we verify that the registrars who maintain the voting rolls and postal service are doing their jobs and getting everyone the ballot. If we can require people to spend weeks of their lives watching the US Govt. not convict seditious idiots of armed insurrection, we can surely require people to mail back or drop off a ballot every election.

    • doktorzoom

      Be of good cheer! At least several other states are working on it, according to FairVote.org, and Hillz is calling for a national law enabling or at least encouraging it (it’s Saturday, not gonna chase down details on how that would work)

      • Berkeleybear94

        Like the Motor Voter law, you can tie it to an incentive and you can limit state’s ability to mess with Federal access, but as both Kansas and NC showed, that can just lead to jackasses at a state level trying to insist it is cool to do one thing for Federal elections and another for states, so it isn’t a perfect solution (especially with the 4 Justices who resurrected Federalism sitting on the Supreme Court and Breyer’s tendency to play along as a pragmatist).

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Yup, love the SCOTUS logic at play- this issue is real important, but it’s not at all timely

          SMH

    • theCryptofishist

      I don’t know if automatically registering everyone with a driver’s license is universal registration, but that’s coming in California.

      (I suspect my virulently pox on both their houses housemate would not send in his ballot, whatever the circumstances.)

      • Walker

        If he wasn’t able to claim the $50 political contribution tax credit or the $200 personal deduction on his state income tax returns each year, he probably would at least return the unvoted ballot.

      • Sister Artemis

        Once again, Oregon leads! Damn good idea, and thanks Gov. Kate Brown (WHO WILL WIN ON TUESDAY!!!) for championing it.

        • Berkeleybear94

          What – humble chemo clinic owner/rancher Bud “only poor women get raped” Pierce’s wife didn’t sway you to vote against the “one party gridlock” in Oregon (I know that last part wasn’t him, but it was damn funny to hear anyone say that, and I’m still not sure what they mean). The only scary thing is that Richardson might become SecState and try to fuck up the initiatives or registration ala Kobach.

        • puredog

          Preach, sister.

  • Daisy

    Well, this is some good news. And we all need good news.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      speaking of good news…

    • folderol

      Speaking of bad news, SCOTUS just reversed the Arizona injunction. Oh, well.

  • BadKitty904

    C’mon, Dok, we deserve at least a little credit Down Here – Judge Walker kicked Gov. Voldemort’s evil ass. I posted this on Wonkette nine days ago:

    OT: In re: the GOP Congress’ threat to cripple the U.S. Judicial Branch – here’s why judges are important. For example, those of you who followed Gov. Scott’s effort to suppress the vote in Florida and Judge Walker’s heroic ruling, there’s some nice quotes from His Honor here, e.g.:

    “It has been suggested that the issue of extending the voter registration deadline is about politics. Poppycock. This case is about the right of aspiring eligible voters to register and to have their votes counted. Nothing could be more fundamental to our democracy.”

    100,000 New Florida Voters When Judge Rebukes Scott’s ‘Poppycock’
    http://www.orlandosentinel.com/opinion/os-ed-florida-a-hundred-thousand-new-voters-paula-dockery-102716-20161027-story.html

    • doktorzoom

      Yay! I was only looking at yesterday’s decisions, tho. I know we covered Scott being a jerk about it, but don’t recall if we did a follow-up when it was extended. It being Saturday, I’m not looking, either.

      • BadKitty904

        Aw, just crackin’ on ya. ;0) As time allows, though, Judge Walker’s ruling is worth reading, as a crystal-clear example of why judges are so important. As impressive a “Fuck you, ya fascist bastards” as I’ve ever seen handed down by a court…

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Funny, that article praising the Judge’s pro-voting ruling was written by a former Republican FL state legislator.

          She’s not very good at Republicanning, is she?

          • Marion in Savannah

            I think the key word there is “former” legislator. Possibly one of the last few moderately sane ones.

          • BadKitty904

            She’s prolly too embarrassed to admit it.

        • Berkeleybear94

          The flip side to him is the district judge in Texas who put on hold Obama’s expansion of DACA for no good reason other than it made state legislators in Texas unhappy – his standing opinion was crap – and the members of the DC circuit who ruled the CFPB was unconstitutional based on nothing but a history they (and Justice Roberts) largely invented (really, batshit insane distinction between a single director and a multi-member body that has no Constitutional roots at all). But to avoid a political uproar, the panel kept the agency alive as a no longer independent body, which means the next GOP president can basically mandate business friendly reforms and claim they are “consumer protection measures” or just gut the agency the way Bush defanged the Civil Rights and Antitrust sections of the DOJ while he was in office.

          So yeah, judicial appointments matter at all levels.

      • theCryptofishist

        Fffffft! 24/7 liebullz!

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Whoa, Hillary supporters are also barred from intimidating potential voters? Tough, game-changing development.

    The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

    – Anatole France

  • JVisconti

    I look forward to Donald’s next act as starring in Donald Knows Best, Where in the tradition of Ward Cleaver. Jim Anderson and Mr Rogers, he gives career advice to Wally, the Beaver, Bud, Kitten and all the Generals while wearing a cardigan with elbow patches from Ivanka’s winter collection.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      What the hell. It couldn’t be much worse than that revival of Full House.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Thankfully, I will likely go my entire life without ever knowing, short of this happening…

        http://www.perfectshire.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/mcdowell.jpg

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I too never watched it, but I remember seeing others commenting on its built-in cringe worthiness.

          I also never saw the original either, now that I think of it, except a few seconds at a time in my channel surfing.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            that’s about it for me, also too- a quick peek at it while scrolling the dial

  • Nounverb911

    The line outside early voting venue near NC State this morning.
    https://twitter.com/seangallitz/status/794944547830853632

    • Daisy

      Whoa!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Wow. What an unenthusiastic crowd, fuck you NYT.

      • puredog

        I have to come to the defense of the NYT. I firmly believe that most of the people who work there have a fervent, nay, even religious belief, in the value of doing journalisms. But you’ve gotta admit, shit’s a moving target this year. If you polled the staff of the paper, I do not doubt that over 95% are planning to vote for the Hillz. But to take that stand in their pages would be, in their view — and mine — at best unprofessional. It’s hard work. Everybody knows where to go to find their fellow-travelers. I know (wonkette.com, e.g.). I read the Times to get what — I truly believe — is the best big-city journalism that is trying to be objective on a day to day basis. Sure, some of the powers that be at the Times may have improper motives. Sure, the people in the trenches may fuck up and since I — like you — never fuck up, it is tempting to have at them. But I believe they try. I believe Barry is the best president I will ever see in my lifetime. I believe Donald Trump is an abomination (though I also think he may be in on the joke and just seeing how far he can spin it, sort of like a tweaker at a pinball machine). I believe in a lot of unicorns. I’m just saying these are defensible, even laudable, beliefs.
        Rant over. You may now go back to savaging all the MSM.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I don’t doubt that there are people doing heartfelt, honest work for the Times. I very much doubt that those people were given much input into their Clinton coverage.

          Which is absolutely their right, although I’ve been arguing that it shows a dysfunctional approach to the news that they’re determined to convict her of something so badly that they announced that they had anyway after they came up dry. And that was before I knew about their deal on Clinton Cash and read their public editor’s conclusion that they were writing and publishing bad journalism but only liberals care and fuck them.

          But this? Is massive disenfranchisement in the service of permanent massive disenfranchisement. And spinning that into a narrative that the african-american voter is too discouraged and unmotivated to vote is beneath contempt, JMO. They should be deeply ashamed to be capable of it no matter how they feel about Clinton.

    • Nounverb911
      • Berkeleybear94

        That slogan – hate the line? Vote out the people who caused it! – should be on a slate card in NC and handed out (legally) – maybe as a napkin for the pizza.

    • theCryptofishist

      “Pizza is coming”…
      Needs a picture of a man, in the snow, with a sword…

  • Vincent Ricola

    Hillary Clinton supporters don’t need to intimidate at the polls. John Podesta emailed us a special witch spell that allows us to use our menstrual blood and a little sage to intimidate voters from the comfort of our own alters!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Once I finally got the backstory on that whole kerfuffle, I was gobsmacked. These idiots are actually pissing their pants in terror because John Podesta’s brother happens to be friends with a relatively well known performance artist who invited him to a standard fundraiser dinner (an invitation he didn’t even accept). So that of course proves Hillary is a witch…

      • Vincent Ricola

        When I look back at this election in retrospect (my nightmares), the Podesta story might end up being my favorite. It is pure insanity.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Seriously- these people are in desperate need of psychiatric help. Somehow, some woman who is friends with the brother of the chairman of Clinton’s campaign, who does some typically cutting edge performance art that they apparently find distasteful, is proof that Hillary herself is Satan, because reasons…

          • Carpe Vagenda

            There’s a reason Milo’s base are obsessed gamers.

          • willi0000000

            Milo Minderbinder libelz!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Of COURSE it proves she’s a witch. Because reasons. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!11!!11

      • WomanInAMood

        Wait, WHAT? This is true?!?

        • Nasty Astraea

          #SpiritCooking was trending on Twitter for like a day and a half and it was full of hysterical posts about how it proved that Hillary was running a secret occultist cabal of sexual predators who cooked up and ate batches of menstrual blood, semen, and breast milk.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          absolute insanity- these people are blithering idiots

          http://www.snopes.com/john-podesta-spirit-cooking/

        • Berkeleybear94

          Remember there are people who wanted to ban Harry Potter as promoting witchcraft – and they have access to both the internet and public meetings.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Are they allowed to eat with anything other than plastic sporks? It’s a wonder they haven’t killed themselves yet.

          • puredog

            In all fairness, suicide-by-spork is challenging. And these peeps are not up to the challenges.

        • Absolutely, Hillary is a witch, Podesta is a warlock, Bill is a demon … and, yes there are people dumb enough to believe this

          • Carpe Vagenda

            and Trump is the walrus. Googoogjoob.

          • I’m the Urban Spaceman (intelligent and clean, know what I mean?)

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I’m the urban spaceman, baby; here comes the twist–
            I don’t exist

          • The Wanderer

            Hillary Clinton can NOT be a witch. She does not weigh as much as a duck, and therefore is not made of wood.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

          • The Wanderer

            Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film.

        • Nasty Astraea

          Oh and FUCK wikileaks with the worst votes.
          https://twitter.com/wikileaks/status/794473977162924032

          • BadKitty904

            Am I the only one who thinks having a witch for President would be kinda cool?

          • WomanInAMood

            No.

          • Nope, does Hillary’s nose twitch?

          • puredog

            No, her whole body (see: debate shimmy). MUCH more mojo.

      • The Wanderer
    • Mehmeisterjr

      That could work, too.

    • starkitty

      Seriously, why go anywhere when you can hex from home?

      • Querolous

        “Hexting” will be the new “Sexting”

    • BadKitty904

      If Hilz is a witch, why do Trump and the GOP still exist?

      • Vincent Ricola

        Vikileaks and Komrade Jones haven’t thought that part out yet, but I’m guessing it’ll have something to do with her “stamina”.

  • TJ Barke

    Donnie appears to have done a great service to democracy, driving people to the polls in incredible numbers. Hopefully because they see what a fucking disaster he is.

    • theCryptofishist

      In California, according to the paper, it’s affecting 3 house close house races. Allegedly.

      • theCryptofishist
        • Berkeleybear94

          Specifically our buddy Darrell Issa. Only sad that it isn’t enough to make Duncan Hunter’s district competitive. But picking up any of those 3 would be amazing (as would OC going for a Dem), especially since California isn’t gerrymandered to benefit Dems the way say Texas is slanted to the GOP.

          • theCryptofishist

            I would not be sorry if Issa had to go to the Sierras to throw snowballs.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Or hotwire cars. Is that still a thing?

          • puredog

            “Car theft is WAY up, Darrell [insert massaged disinformation here]. You need to get back to the private sector, stat!”

    • starkitty

      Could go either way. He’s driving his base to the polls, but there are still people who don’t think they shouldn’t bother because they don’t think he can win. Or, God help us, are “undecided”.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh holy fuck. Melania just told a rally that she and her husband first bonded over american exceptionalism and their mutual love of blue collar workers.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2f72ab4cffd1cb667eaf3318fa98e45e405881771e1ee2af79fbc9ec6c754fbb.jpg

  • Nounverb911

    I read on the internets that if he loses, Trump plans on being cryogenically frozen along with his boy friend Putin until the year 2200 when they plan on running together on the same ticket….

    https://twitter.com/business/status/794927022753521665

    • theCryptofishist

      Pfffffft! Eternally Embalmed Lenin Liebullz!!11ty

    • The Wanderer

      Just pickle them in vodka. Trump Vodka.

    • starkitty

      Seems legit.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        They bury the body in Siberian permafrost. Then lose the paperwork.

  • Laffing Crow

    Lonoke County, Arkansas is honoring their great state’s former First Lady during this hysteric election with this touching tribute right on their voting ballots. http://www.nbcnewyork.com/on-air/as-seen-on/Hillary-Ballot-Typo-Angers-Voters_New-York-399960421.html
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fb3302fc6cbc92fd223f9b841eb207367d5b2a89467eba9dd72dace27b0e94b6.png

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Oy…

    • starkitty

      hysteric?

      • Laffing Crow

        Initially wrote “historic” and then realized that wasn’t the right word, so I fixed it.

        • starkitty

          Oh yeah, I figured. Just being snarky. Gotta get our laughs somehow these days…

          • Laffing Crow

            Yeah. Honestly, I have no fuckin’ idea. Used to have a frame of reference but it’s been all blown to shit for a long time now. I feel dumb and old.

  • theCryptofishist

    I was looking at my California absentee ballot last night, and I can have someone drop it off for me, I just have to write their name on the envelope. Seems reasonable. Probably tranny, though.

    • Sister Artemis

      trannies are very reliable!

  • FlownOver

    “Kobach, of course, plans to appeal, both to prevent nonexistent voter fraud, and also because he’s an insufferable prick.”

    Reporters on the ground indicate the latter is the sole reason.

  • BadKitty904

    And before I forget – HAPPY GUY FAWKES DAY, WONKLINGS!

    Remember,remember, the Fifth of November,
    Gunpowder, treason, and plot!
    I see no reason why gunpowder treason
    Should ever be forgot.

    Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t’was his intent
    To blow up King and Parliament.
    Threescore barrels of powder below
    To prove old England’s overthrow.

    By God’s mercy, he was catch’d,
    With dark lantern and burning match.
    Holloa,boys, holloa, boys, make the bells ring.
    Holloa, boys, holloa, boys, God save the King!

    • Teecha

      I REALLY MISS BONFIRE NIGHT. I miss putting on many layers and 3 pairs of socks and a scarf and hat and still getting a cold nose and I miss sparklers, and jacket potatoes from the fire and tomato soup in a mug and a crowd of people saying ‘ooooh!’ and ‘aaaaaah!’ in unison and I miss the squeakers and the booming ones and the lovely sparkly ones.
      Sigh.

    • starkitty

      Shit! Thanks for the reminder. Must dig up recipe for vinegar peas….

      • BadKitty904

        That certainly sounds a step up from mushy peas…

        • starkitty

          Well, it’s just your parched peas with a bit of vinegar, salt and pepper, yeah basically a mushy pea variant. I really left it late. Should be soaked over night–I’m hoping six hours will be good enough.

          • BadKitty904

            Perhaps a pressure-cooker might help?

          • starkitty

            Thought of that, but only I’m only doing a bit, 1 cup dry, 2 cooked. The pressure cooker’s 2 or 3 gallons? Overkill, yeh? We’ll see. They seem to be swelling nicely. Simmer with a lid will probably be okay.

    • The Wanderer

      Have a penny for the Guy!

      • BadKitty904

        Ta very much, guv!

    • Thank you

    • data_ninja
    • Laffing Crow

      Remembering this day really “fawkes” me up. He wanted to replace a Protestant government with a Catholic government by literally blowing up the Protestant government. I’m not for any of that but I understand his “resurrection” (ha ha) as a symbol of government protest. Then I think of Wikileaks and get all twisted up again. Hell, I don’t know. But I like the masks.

  • Teecha

    Hurrah for democracy!

    This is totally OT, but I want to show off this cake wot I made for a friend’s baby shower. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9b4f8fd4d37c823d247b9be6aa4690edaafacc48472fc9ddc6da8c554fca70cd.jpg

    • starkitty

      Wow, that is a work of art!

      • Teecha

        Thanks! I am proud of how disturbing it is!

        • starkitty

          LOL, yes it is! That placenta is a bit too realistic! What did you use for the jelly effect?

          • BloviateMe

            “effect?”

          • Teecha

            I used powdered beef gelatin (the only stuff I can get hold of here) with elderflower cordial. I made the gelatin up with two sachets instead of one because it had to support the weight of the fondant baby inside.

          • WomanInAMood

            “Fondant Baby” is the name of my Europop band.

          • Teecha
          • WomanInAMood

            Awwwww….that is the cutest Fondant baby.

          • Sister Artemis

            awwww that’s adorbs!

          • Mezzaluna

            Baby Ziggy?
            https://goo.gl/images/wsceSL
            Ziggy is an American cartoon series created by Tom Wilson, a former American Greetings executive. Ziggy is a small, bald, trouserless, barefoot, almost featureless character. Wikipedia

          • eggsacklywright

            Angelic enjellied.

          • starkitty

            Nice.

    • Painter of Goats

      Cool. Is that amniotic-flavored gelatin?

      • Teecha

        Ha! No, elderflower.

    • Teecha
    • WomanInAMood

      Both spectacular and unsettling. Well done!

      • Teecha

        *preens. Thank you! I spent much of yesterday and today chortling to myself about the baby cakes.

    • The Wanderer

      A plethora of upfists!

    • Nice

      Surprised you didn’t use one of those Alien Egg toys

      • Teecha

        I couldn’t find anything the right size to fit in the womb- I ended up making a fondant foetus.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This is one of those ninth-month abortion cakes, I assume, since you’re gonna have to cut that baby out of there.

      • Teecha

        Lol! The mummy to be couldn’t face cutting it, so carried out a sunroof birth before cutting up her breasts and belly.

    • HazooToo

      You neeeed to send this to Cake Wrecks. It’s not a “wreck”, honestly, it looks exactly like you intended it to? But it is gloriously WTF.

      • Teecha

        I was inspired by cake wrecks for this one. *shows off again* I’ve had a tribute wreck feature there before.

        • HazooToo

          omg which one?

          • Teecha

            Tribute wreck? A copy of ‘good luck in China’ with the hose. I love cake wrecks so much, but I hate their lack of a decent search facility.
            Also, I used the same babies as in that naked Mohawk baby carrot jockeys cake in my mini baby jelly womb cakes

          • HazooToo

            I KNOW THAT CAKE, with the Mohawk baby things, I looove that disaster!

          • Teecha

            I first discovered cake wrecks when I was off work and on tramadol (I don’t know if it’s called that across the pond, it’s an opiate) and so there I was, off my tits courtesy of the NHS, crying laughing at the archive of that website. It’s been a love of mine for many years now, and an inspiration for many cakes.

          • HazooToo

            I haven’t heard of it, but if it will kill the pain without turning you into a raging bitch while coming down, I’m all for it. Also, if you can get ahold of it over there, Food Network is trying out a Worst Bakers of America season soon, might also be good for inspiration!

          • theCryptofishist

            Wonketariat brags about the weirdest things.

          • Teecha

            Weird but worthy, no?

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            Think about the heads that would explode if this got into the wilds of the net.

          • Teecha

            I posted this ‘in progress’ pic on fb, and a chum reckoned it would be used as an anti-Monsanto-vaxx meme shortly https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c00832d504d255b4fe0db4c670faf78fbc8ba3ca5ffd5e579e091f0c6890b595.jpg

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            You are a wonderful person for making the day a little more surreal for us all.

          • Teecha

            This all perfectly normal imo

    • Brilliant! (forgot to say when I posted originally

      • Teecha

        Thanks!

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre
    • eggsacklywright

      This here is Halloween material.

    • Candy Apple

      On the one hand, it’s cake. On the other hand, I just lost my appetite.

      • Teecha

        My work here is done.

    • Berkeleybear94

      Wow – I’m at once impressed and really scared to think of what you could do for a friend getting their first colonoscopy.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        I have some photos I could overshare if you want.?

    • Notreelyhelping

      Okay, who wants the placenta?

  • TheGrandWaz00

    I’m buying stock in Trump’s post-election business venture.
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CrdWUSBVUAAc8Kk.jpg

    • Daisy

      Something he won’t fail at!

      • Skeptical_thinker

        You misunderestimate the Donald.

  • Bill Slider

    There is no need to risk being charged with a felony for voter fraud if you just prevent the blahs from voting in the first place.

  • Skeptical_thinker

    I may have to have a few old pals over this evening.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Hopeful news, from here in the Land of Flowers…

    Of the early votes cast by Friday, close to one-third of the Hispanic voters had never voted in an election before. And polling makes clear that they are overwhelmingly voting for Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

    Florida Moving Faster from Battleground to Blue? Thanks, Donald.
    A surge in Latino votes could spell long-term trouble for Republicans for years to come.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/florida-latino-vote-donald-trump_us_581d0c44e4b0aac624849298

    • Daisy

      My Floridian friend will be pleased. She has sent off her absentee ballot.

      • BadKitty904

        Good on her. EVERY vote counts!!!

    • Berkeleybear94

      Fascinating (and underdeveloped theme) in there about PR immigrants re-shaping Florida’s Hispanic vote. Coupled with the generational shift among Cubans towards the Ds and Obama’s policy of re-establishing relations, the GOP might be well and truly screwed. Probably not screwed enough for Rubio to lose, the little prick, but screwed.

      • berkeleyfarm

        Definitely in the medium-to-long term. Strong similarities to what happened here in California to flip it from a swing state tending R in national elections to solid D.

      • BadKitty904

        It really is an interesting process to watch Down Here – the right-leaning retirees are dying off, while be replaced by left-leaning Hispanics.

        • Definitely generational, especially for Cubans. The older generation is still bitter about Castro, but their kids (and increasingly, grandchildren) care about Cuba only to the extent that they’d like to visit and connect with their roots.

          They’re also not as devoted to conservative Catholicism as their elders, so that’s a significant factor too.

      • katahdin

        Brief factual note: Puerto Ricans are American citizens. They don’t immigrate, they just move.
        Thanks.

        • Berkeleybear94

          But, in fact if they are registering to vote it is because they are immigrants to Florida. They came from elsewhere and are establishing state level residency/citizenship. Until they become actual Florida citizens (defined by the 14th Amendment as establishing residency, which states then in turn define in terms of intent to remain) they don’t get to vote in Florida elections. It isn’t cumbersome, but it is still an act of immigration in our goofy Federal system of nominally sovereign states.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Note: if you’re paywalled out of the WSJ
    story, just google the title, “Federal Courts in Ohio, Arizona and N.C.
    Issue Voting Rulings Favoring Democrats” and you should be able to read
    it
    buy a subscription, at least for the current month, to support responsible journalism.

    ftfy

    • Querolous

      Interestingly, if you copy/paste “Federal Courts in Ohio, Arizona and N.C.
      Issue Voting Rulings Favoring Democrats
      “the “—-“disappears and the search is done..

    • puredog

      Wait — does Rupert need my money? DOES RUPERT NEED MY MONEY? Here you go, Rupert, all the monies! God bless!

  • Jonathan Craig

    Seems the anti American person who wrote this article doesn’t care if illegal aliens, criminals or even dead people vote so long as they vote left. If these cases of voting leaned right this moron would probably be slamming the fraudulent process instead of fighting to uphold election fraud which to use his words throws democracy down the toilet

    • The Wanderer

      Oh, hi! How are you this fine day?

    • WomanInAMood

      Hello, new friend.

    • Sister Artemis
    • Nasty Astraea

      Oh, you silly man.

    • Marion in Savannah

      And we have another contender for this week’s “Dear Shit Fer Brains!”

    • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

      You do understand how voting registration works, right? Hahah, of course you don’t.

    • idiotboy

      “Good morning sunshine……”

    • The Wanderer

      My friend, the main thrust and intent of these voter laws is to deliberately target minorities under the guise of “protecting the vote.” If the same laws targeted other minorities that could were defined as “criminal” in American history, such as Irish, Italians and Jews, you’d likely scream blue murder about it.
      And I fail to see how limiting the number of polling places serves your ideas about “voter fraud.”

    • TJ Barke

      Fascism won’t make america great again, FO&D.

    • You’re adorbs when you try to think!

      • The Wanderer

        I thought I heard gears grinding.

        • WomanInAMood

          It’s posting history is a grand total of 3. One of which is a rant about Muslims owning guns. Not the liveliest of trolls.

          • The Wanderer

            Ah. Well, then.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Maybe it’s a newborn, baby troll. They can be cute, in a simple-minded way.

          • puredog

            If you don’t let them outside to gaze up in awe at the rain.

          • Sad … weak …

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          Get the fire extinguisher. I smell smoke!

    • Land Shark Hombre

      Dear Jonathan,

      Read the non-comment I wrote above.

      Sincerely,
      One Who Makes Sure Elections are Safe and Accurate.

      P.S. – Facts first, then wild speculation. Kthxbye.

    • Land Shark Hombre
      • shaar dula

        Is this for real? did he say:
        White men to save elections?
        Only best to vote?

    • shivaskeeper

      So… Show. Your. Work. You must have amassed a fairly significant amount of proof. Show it. You must have proof that illeagles, dead people, and criminals who I’ll have to assume are felons who are not allowed to vote are doing it. Show your work.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        He considers Hillary Clinton a criminal despite the fact she has never been officially accused by a grand jury or other actual judicial process let alone gone to trial or been convicted.
        By that standard we are all criminals for disagreeing with him. And felons for mocking him.

    • Candy Apple

      Yeah, allllll of those illegal aliens who are just lining up to vote. Of course, I want to believe in unicorns, too, but both are going to require some proof that they exist before I believe in them.

      • Sister Artemis

        so, I take it you haven’t met Kiri?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      And you know this how? How do you know how the author would feel in a different situation? could it be that you’re just making shit up and projecting your own lack of ethics on others like a typical dumber than dirt Trumpanzee?

    • Kavefish

      Jenny called.

      She wants the family name back.

    • puredog

      Hi! Say, you, like, Larry’s son? Give him a big HI for me, mmkay?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You are a classic moran. I invite you to fuck off in the general direction of a burning house.

    • shaar dula

      The problem sir is that this premise is a ruse that is being used to systematically to disenfranchise certain targeted sections of voters.
      There are far many more examples this systemic fraud than of dead and illegals voting.
      Nobody has a quarrel with the principle of fair elections. And we can all get behind making our elections fairer. But the systems to ensure fairness have to be fair and sincere to begin with.

    • Jen B_VA

      How does it feel to live every day knowing you are wrong about just about everything in life? Just wondering how else to define someone who lies like that.

    • doktorzoom

      Awww, you’re precious. You really think there’s tons of voting fraud, even though there’s no evidence of it. And if you don’t know the difference between a well and a toilet, I pity the others camped out at your survivalist compound. Bye!

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • guppy06

    Since there were no formal dissents from the ruling, there’s no telling who voted how

    Kennedy.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yup. Called it.

  • Skeptical_thinker

    OT: This just in:

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/11/05/trump-gains-african-american-support/

    Breathless headline:

    Polls Show African-American Vote for Donald Trump is Double Mitt Romney’s Vote

    4% instead of 2%?

    • guppy06

      2 × 0 = 0

    • Berkeleybear94

      They are accurately reporting higher poll support (like 12-20 percent in some cases) for Trump than Romney’s actual vote share (6 percent). But they are citing polls from Michigan and Pennsylvania, where it is really easy to fuck up the modeling and undersample African American voters (highly concentrated in only a couple of parts of the state, most considered “low propensity voters” because they often don’t turn out for midterms) so it really isn’t something to get excited over without a lot more data. This is where if Trump was serious about getting minority support he’d be doing oversampling to have a sense of where he really stands/work on his message – but I’m not seeing any evidence of that.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        According to Trump oversampling is cheating on the polls to make him look bad.

      • Jen B_VA

        Cherry picking the most favorable polls is sorta their MO…and when they could not find any to cherry pick, they made their own and sourced THAT

    • Shan the Nasty Libtart

      I thought anything multiplied by zero was still zero…

    • Señor The Final Countdown!

      Does this include the white people holding Blacks for Trump signs.

    • puredog

      You wag. 0% instead of 0%.

    • shaar dula

      you hate their guts but don’t mind their votes? atleast commit you morons.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I was told there would be no myth.

      • JustDon’tSayHombre

        good one!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    OT: I’m getting a burst of robocalls today for state races/initiatives (WA state).

    Dudes, it’s too late, I already voted.

    Do these guys just need to burn off their warchests?

    • The Wanderer

      Apparently. My landline’s answering machine logs about a half-dozen robocalls a day. I just delete without listening, because I too voted early.

    • Sean McLaren

      Nerd moment: Yes! Most campaigns will do this, since, unless the candidate is planning on running again, there are a very limited number of things you can do with the money afterwards, so why not go nuts? Remember Obama’s 30m primetime infomercial?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Fair enough. It just seems like the same money spent a week ago would have been much more effective.

      • kareemachan

        Actually, no. I don’t remember. But I didn’t need to.

      • cynmac’s bigly nasty pussy

        That was awesome. Since he seemed to come out of nowhere also too.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      If the Rebs don’t spend their PAC money, they won’t get any next time. That’s how businesses work. Don’t use up your budget, it gets cut next fiscal year.

    • Biff52

      My phone hasn’t rung since I voted last Friday. Here in NV, the campaigns are given the information as to who voted every night. It’s a big help, not having to ignore the phone anymore.

    • kareemachan

      We got two calls here in WA state – one dem, one repub. I’m happy to say that both were civil, polite, and quick.

      And yeah, we voted (like everybody else) early by mail. God, I love it.

      • puredog

        Life in Cascadia, I would note. In many places, such attentions are neither civil, nor polite, nor quick.

    • puipui

      I’m also in WA State, and one thing I’ve noticed over years of volunteering is that while the presidential and top-ticket campaigns are usually on the ball about getting updates on who has voted and using that information to update their lists, the campaigns for initiatives and referendums seem like they’re not, and also some of the other races as you go further down the ballot.

      So they’re probably not trying to burn off money; they’re probably just not spending it well in the first place.

      • They may not have the cash to pay someone to do it. The robocalls are probably scheduled in advance.

  • Nounverb911

    Latest list of Trump lies artistically presented:
    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/794886240109731840

  • Land Shark Hombre

    OT:
    Just back from poll worker training, and , as usual, the number of ignorant (not stupid) people asking stupid questions about how we identify voters. In Connecticut, you only need to prove WHO you are, not whether you are registered or not. The voter roles determine your eligibility.

    But, once again, the ignorant people contend that CT should have a PHOTO ID law requiring a photo ID to prove who you are. Most typically, that is a driver’s license. But what of the oldes and those like my son who do not have a driver’s license? The ignorant contend they should have photo ID, too. How? DMV will provide one. Who pays for that? Well, uh …. the voter! Yeah, that’s it! But what about having to travel to the DMV to get one? Who pays for that? Well … uh ….

    So I asked one of the ardent photo ID supporters this question, “What problem will a photo ID law solve? What is the goal?” “To eliminate voter fraud.” “How many cases, out of the two plus MILLION registered voters in Connecticut, of voter fraud have occurred in the last twenty years?” “Uh … I don’t know” “I do. Seven reported incidents, and two cases confirmed. Out of over 15 million votes cast.” “Argle bargle … fraud … inner city … blahs … argle bargle!” “So, the taxpayers will pay for these photo IDs?” “NO NEW TAXES!” “Then it is discriminatory, period. So the RIGHT to vote should be paid for by the voter? Isn’t that a POLL TAX?” “Argle bargle … fraud … inner city … blahs … argle bargle!”

    If it is so prevalent, how come no one has sued (in Connecticut)? How come it is only the Republican party that believes there is rampant fraud?

    *crickets*

    “Don’t BOO, VOTE!”

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Because that’s what they would do?

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Those who would do evil always claim “everybody would do it if they could”.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          it’s ALWAYS projection with these clowns

          • Land Shark Hombre

            Mr Pinhead, once again, reiterates a fact we all need to keep in mind. Grací.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            THIS THIS THIS like I always say.

    • guppy06

      Connecticut has an “inner city?” Antique store deserts?

      • Land Shark Hombre

        Bridgeport and Hartford (the capital, no less) have large minority populations relative to other cities & towns in the state. Pretty much, CT is white, liberal democrats.

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          I imagine it’s like Oregon. Go into the rural areas and start seeing Trump-Pence signs.

          • Mezzaluna

            A bit,but not nearly as many Sovereign Citizens types.

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            Lucky you.

          • Land Shark Hombre

            and hearing Deliverance music.

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            Paddle faster guys…

        • guppy06

          I thought Bush went to Connecticut to see family and get back in touch with his roots.

          • Land Shark Hombre

            OK … sort of. Read about Prescott Bush and WW2 profiteering some time. It will explain his “roots” better than I can in a non-comment.

    • Señor The Final Countdown!

      Connecticut is a real actual place?

      Seriously, I was living in a black neighborhood when the first push for voter suppression started here. Some rich suburbanite’s letter to the editor accusing my neighbors of massive voter fraud. We thought it was laughable and not part of a planned push to disinfranchise voters.

      • Land Shark Hombre

        It’s the republican party platform here in Connecticut.

        • Barbarablewis4

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !hg424f:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !hg424f:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash724MarketSquareGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!hg424f:….,……..

        • I’ve lived in two other states & what most struck me about CT is the segregation. There are Republicans who don’t know a single black or gay person, even at work. It’s bizarre.

    • At our training we had the same nonsense, specifically as to why social security cards were admissible. They have a name & signature, so it’s OK. It doesn’t seem to occur to these idiots that to get a copy of your SS card someone needs to break into your house or go to the Social Security office with a photo ID (with their picture on it?). You’re not supposed to carry a SS card in your wallet anyway, it’s useless as ID except when proving eligibility to work.

  • Nounverb911

    Undocumented worker introduces Trump at rally.
    https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/794959874924969984

  • guppy06

    The Supreme Court blocked the federal appeals court ruling this morning,
    putting the restrictions on ballot collection back in place

    Bush v. Gore II: Eclectic Boogaloo.

    Kennedy and Thomas want to get the bad back together!

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    “You know, Lassie never whined like that.” Lassie was a gentleman.?

    • Not many people know that

      • theCryptofishist

        I do. Now that was canine tranny.

    • Biff52

      Lassie was a cross-dresser!

    • mailman27

      Or “Shep,” as she was known to her friends.

  • Nounverb911

    This just in, Putin campaigning for Trump again.

    https://twitter.com/NewYorker/status/794968880556949504

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Andy Borowitz is a voice of wonderful insanity in a sad world.

    • theCryptofishist

      Lybanka liebullz?

  • Skeptical_thinker

    I do wonder how many volunteers there were for applying that sticker.

    • Nounverb911

      AOT,K.

    • kev

      i’d make that my life’s work and i’d work for a pittance.

  • Nounverb911

    Trump’s fever dreams are getting more vivid…
    https://twitter.com/SopanDeb/status/794974767132672000

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Welcome to Trump World. Population: 1

      • mailman27

        Official language: Gibberish.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Is that Hoch-Gibberish or Platt-Gibberish?

    • Teecha

      Much everything. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Sister Artemis

      much everything, many smarts

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        wow

    • puredog

      2016’s all-purpose rhetorical question: “Can you make this shit up?”

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Ignoring what he said, WTF is he doing in Delaware three days from the election!?!?!?!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Jacking off. It’s what cheeto-face does.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Trying to chip away at Clinton’s 99.9% certainty of winning. (This is from 538, which gives Drumpf far more of a chance than most polls.)

      • kev

        the same thing he was doing in New Mexico and Minnessota recently. The campaign is careening out of control like the Trumpmanian Devil.

      • Gentle Robot

        Wilmington North Carolina

        It’s a beach town. Real Trump territory. Few years back, I went into a surf shop to get some suntan lotion and saw a wall of anti-Obama t-shirts.

    • artem1s

      damn, the concession speech is going to be….something

    • BadKitty904
    • a nasty feminist

      “much everything”

      i rest my case.

  • msanthropesmr
    • Kavefish

      Ah-ha! So *that’s* why he cancelled! :-D

  • Carpe Vagenda

    bwaaaaaaaahaha, Jason Miller just announced on MSGOP there’s a movement and Trump is redefining the map and Clinton is relying on JayZ to carry her across the finish line because pffft what’s a ground game. He also says he wouldn’t hire Jon Ralston in NV to be the campaign pollster or demographer (presumably because Ralston wants to be paid), Trump is the only one with a positive message, and managed not to say that the AP story wasn’t true while he was saying that the AP story wasn’t true.

    • berkeleyfarm

      Ralston will probably add that to his bio.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I would.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Positive message”: send the Mooslims and Mezzikans back to where they came from. Even if that happens to be Queens.

  • Zyxomma

    No early voting in NY. We also don’t have purges of the voter books.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Absentee only – although they take your word for it that you “expect to be” absent.
      The NYC health Dept. tells the election officials when people die, so it’s hardly Chicago. A Department of Investigations probe of the 2013 elections found 63 ineligible voters were still in the voter registration books at polling sites, in a city of 9 million people. This constitutes “wide open to fraud” according to Murdoch’s daily rag.

    • Gentle Robot

      You folks really need to fix that

  • kareemachan

    Ugly people ugly.

    Pretty much non-stop.

  • snark-lurker

    me just came here for the sideboob.
    wait, did i say that right?
    HOLEY SOCKS, BATMAN!

    [–CLEANUP IN THE BOYS ROOM!–]

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh dear. I’ve been following this poll on 538 for months, for the kid in Chicago WTF factor. It has always adjusted toward Clinton 5 points. The history and the methodology haven’t changed.

    He really is unskewing. How disappointing.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4b370aab854b9c3a3a57d0864c3010ebbf028694a2c0c2936e1c32fd108770bc.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Known bullshit poll with bad algorithms, very easy for just a single person to skew. Fuck them.

    • Jen B_VA

      Damn it, Nate, it is NOT unskewing when you include bullshit polls.

  • RobKanC

    Rigged!!!!!!!!!!

  • Nasty Holly

    We really must stop throwing all the bad words and poor attitude at this emotionally stunted, narcissistic, mentally defective, and pathologically challenged liar with random psychotic breaks. What he really needs is a straightjacket and a lithium drip. He’s sad…sad and pathetic. A loser. A total loser. I don’t like psychotic losers. I only like sane people and Winners. You know, like Hillz.

  • ViveLaNastyWimminz

    My husband had cataract surgery on Wednesday. While he was in pre-op, two medical assistants were openly discussing their plans to buy more guns before “Hillary takes away the 2nd amendment.” A male employee bragged about being a lifetime NRA member and was sure Hillary would send him to Gitmo. A female employee complained her brother had inherited their father’s guns (plural) so she had no choice but to buy her own arsenal before the election. I repeat, this was in the pre-op room where several patients were being prepped for eye surgeries. At least two patients had to be attended to for high blood pressure. Must’ve been Democrats.As soon as my husband’s final post-op visit is over, we will be letting the surgeon know about this, and why we will not be using their facility again.

    • BadKitty904

      a.) I hope that your sweetie’s recovery is quick and that his procedure’s results are satisfactory and effective;
      b.) the surgeon – good; hit ‘im in the wallet, where it will actually get his attention.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Don’t forget Yelp! That will have a yooge effect.

      • ViveLaNastyWimminz

        Thanks, BadKitty! The recovery is going very well. The improvement in his vision is amazing. He had a very fast-moving cataract, took us by surprise. The sad part is we love the surgeon, a soft-spoken very capable man. But the staff is awful so we will find another eye center for next time.

    • kev

      the NRA and the gun manufacturers have played these rubes like Pavlov’s dogs ever since that black guy got elected, who was also gonna take their guns away. Don’t these idiots know they’re not going to Gitmo – they’re going to the FEMA camps that are secretly built inside abandoned K Mart stores everywhere. Don’t they read the news?

      • JustDon’tSayHombre

        Oh, they’ve been playing them longer than that. “The West Wasn’t Won With a Registered Gun” was a 70’s-era bumper sticker.

      • DutchS

        There are abandoned Wal-Marts? Now K-Mart and Sears, those are places to house prisoners. Even before they went belly-up, it would have been horrible.

        • theblackdog

          I remember when Wal-Mart decided to build a Supercenter in my town, they built it about 2 miles from their current location, then closed the old regular Wal-Mart down. However, they kept the property because they didn’t want any competitor store moving in to the space. So I guess it was a kind of abandoned Wal-Mart?

    • shaar dula

      I’m sure I’m being naïve. But somebody in the media needs to compile the statements of all the public servants and media-walas atleast who scare mongered during Obama’s term – gun confiscation, jade helm, what not. Some high ranking Texas official at one point was pretty sure jade helm was going to happen.
      These people need to be held accountable.
      At the very least there must be John Oliver-esque expose on this.
      This is like a repeat nonsense and I’m pretty sure somebody is making a dollar from all this scare mongering. They need to be exposed.

      • Jen B_VA

        It would only piss people off and prove the media is liberal. People seldom say thank you when you explain to them what fucking idiotic fools they have been being XD

      • JustDon’tSayHombre

        Jade Helm did happen. It was a military exercise. Then it was over. It just wasn’t all the tin-foil hat crowd hoped for. Yes, I said, “hoped for.”

    • mailman27

      Appallingly unprofessional. These folks need to seek new employment.

    • tehbaddr

      Umm, didn’t the Hussein Obamadrone take away all the guns already?

  • Land Shark Hombre
    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is historically correct. Guy Fawkes was a reactionary jackhole.

      • And a filthy papist!

      • theblackdog

        It is fun to remind people that Fawkes wanted to blow up the British Parliament so that he could install a (possibly Spanish) Catholic Theocracy. They get a little touchy when they realize their “anarchist hero” had other agendas.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Matthew Dowd was W’s poll guy, and. he’s a bad man, but he knows the Republican electorate

    https://mobile.twitter.com/matthewjdowd/status/794979983877963776

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Absentee ballot collection has been “one of the most popular and effective methods of minority voting in Arizona”?
    That’s the problem the law is intended to fix.

    • Carpe Vagenda
      • revenant

        while missing a few states, and adding Arizona, this is the goddamned Confederacy, again. as usual.

        • cynmac’s bigly nasty pussy

          Minus TN and GA – Not all Southerners.

        • If I remember correctly, Arizona was distinctly pro-Confederate and there were battles out there in the Civil War.

          • theblackdog

            Looks like at least the southern half of the territory (below the 34th parallel) was declared to be part of the Confederate states and there were a few battles out there, but nothing major.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Evenly split between white and black neighborhoods, I’m sure.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Maybe. Those are states with weirdass looking plate of spaghetti districts to protect their house seats.

      • Jen B_VA

        Amazing coincidence I am sure.

      • BadKitty904

        Thanks, John Roberts, ya ignorant snowflake…

      • tehbaddr

        It’s Merika’s Gunt!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “We can’t have these mud people messing with our elections by voting for non-Rethuglicans”.

      This is what it boils down to. Democracy is a great idea as long as they get their way every single fucking time.

  • artem1s

    best news I have seen all week. Sam Wang says he will eat a bug if DJT gets over 240 ECVs
    https://twitter.com/SamWangPhD/status/788544053059153924?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    • Jen B_VA

      I really like his name. I know it is wrong of me, but I REALLY like his name.

      • DutchS

        In the Pacific, there’s an international pool of names for storms. The biggest typhoon in 2005 was Typhoon Longwang. Google it. Would I lie about something like that?

      • cousin itt
        • and before that one, which used 5 & 1/4″ floppies, there was the one that backed up on cassette tape. We are an old.

          • Vorhees

            8″ floppies actually, one System and one Archive to store your files…

          • you are correct, sir. I think the era of 8″ floppies was brief, though. I do remember the system/archive distinction, and thinking “how much of an archive can this be?”

          • Bad Hombre Ron

            There was also a Wang 8″ floppy drive. My ex used one at work into the late 80s.

        • Equs_1776

          WOW, that’s what I learned on 1980ish !

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          My first real computer job was the care and feeding of a Wang 2200. 64K memory, 10meg storage and interpreted Basic!

        • theblackdog

          Yup, wonder if my dad still has one of their “Disaster Recovery Team” hats.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Everybody’s gonna Wang Chung tonight!!

  • tehbaddr

    I always say this when I see that pic, but it bears repeating. Get Out The Tatas Vote!

  • Shibusa

    Republican legislative assaults on voting are moving in a diametrically opposed direction to 200 years of American history, when the arrow of progress pointed toward more political participation by more citizens. Republicans are among the most shrill in self-righteously lecturing other countries about the wonders of democracy; exporting democracy (albeit at the barrel of a gun) to the Middle East… But domestically, Repubs don’t want those people voting.

  • The Bird in a Red Pantsuit

    Another voting issue is the bus strike in Philadelphia that might keep people dependent on public transport form going to the polls. http://www.wsj.com/articles/judge-declines-to-halt-philadelphia-transit-strike-sets-monday-hearing-1478355541

    • Gentle Robot

      I think Uber is offering free rides that day

      • The Bird in a Red Pantsuit

        I hope so. And by the way, that comment was very gentle. Delicate, even.

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        Zip Car and a handful of cab companies also too (in my area, anyway).

    • tehbaddr

      They’re trying to fuck up the polls any which way they can. Hmmm.

      http://movieguy247.com/iMovies/images/Movies/action/any-wich-way.jpg

  • Laffing Crow

    Do you guys get those stickers? I’ve voted in eight presidential elections, primaries, mid-terms and I haven’t ever gotten one.

    • Sister Artemis

      we don’t get them in Or https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3272ed3978fc8634918e9ec53a75141fec3bbcf17dc304e89349bb7bcc099e48.png egon, so I made a couple for people to print out if they want

      • Laffing Crow

        Thank you Sister. I feel so much better and now I can have as many stickers as I want. I’ll print myself out a set of pasties!

        • Sister Artemis

          Pics or… Well, you know

    • JustDon’tSayHombre

      I got ’em in TX. And Cali sent me one with my mail-in ballot.

      • Laffing Crow

        I live in Texas and have voted in three different counties but never got a sticker. I want my sticker dammit!

      • Marion in Savannah

        OOOH — I didn’t get one with my mail-in ballot. I’m jealous! Always got one at the polling place.

      • theblackdog

        AZ sent me one when I did a mail-in vote for Kerry in 2004. I still have it on the Kerry Edwards button I wore at the time.

    • Vagendadentacohontas

      We get one every time. I’m not sure why the incentive for voting includes a sticker, but my steering wheel is covered it them. It’s a Subaru, so that’s mandatory according to the owners manual.

      • Laffing Crow

        Me and my steering wheel are envious. I want my sticker dammit!

    • I work the polls in CT, and the one time we ran out of stickers people were ANGRY, like pitchforks & torches angry.

      • Laffing Crow

        Well I’m starting to feel a little peeved. I want my sticker dammit!

  • How cool is this? I’m sure the community where I live (island) isn’t alone, but I just found out our polls open at 5:45AM

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Hey, on another thing – Moody has warned charter school fans in MA that they hurt municipal credit because they’re a financial drain.

    This is actually Bill Clinton’s fault – he should have seen that the incentive program he set up to guarantee loan money to startup charters in struggling communities was going to create an unholy nexus of hedge funds, union busters, and people who think an educated populace is a bad idea – but it’s horrible public policy.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    AJ Delgado (and omg she is so Bay Ridge) just announced that Trump is sending a powerful anti-war message. “It’s a pivot to relevance.”

    • doktorzoom

      Pretty sure she’s Chris Hayes’s favorite unhinged Trumper.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I really hope their Palin plummet comes sooner rather than later.

  • Henry B.

    In regard to the picture which accompanies this article, didn’t her twin vote?

  • Panika MCD

    if it’s just SCOTUS blocking an injunction, it’s likely only one justice made the ruling. it’s not a full case. though they may have asked for a mandamus hearing.

  • OT: I’m watching Saturday’s AM Joy on the Interwebs (I now live in China) and I have never felt so old and white in my LIFE! She’s talking Brittany Spears and Beyoncé (HOLY SHIT! My browser just auto-corrected Beyoncé’s name with an accent over the e! I’m making a tinfoil hat for myself and my computer right the fuck now. And praying that that means I’m next on the Clinton-Beyoncé assassins hit list). Joy — who I love and want to be friends with — keeps saying Clinton is all “hit me baby with it one more time” and laughing along with all of her guests like that means something special to them. I am mystified. Now, she’s quoting percentages of black voting right now and is ‘go Brittany.” Can someone please hipslain all this to some old pudgy white curmudgeon before the Clinton-Beyoncé assassination squad gets here to bliss me into heaven?

    PS While we’re hisplaining things to this tired old man, what the fuck is a pussy bow that Melania wore to one of the debates?

    • Marion in Savannah

      I can’t help at all with the Beyoncé stuff, since I are an old too. However, here’s an image of a pussy bow blouse — I used to have a bunch of them back in the day:

      https://www.google.com/search?q=pussy+bow+blouse&client=opera&hs=MnO&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjWkYOfjpTQAhVFLyYKHf15CnQQ_AUICSgC&biw=1600&bih=800#imgrc=2feCfyUD0nGt-M%3A

      • Thanks for that! Do they call it a pussy bow because cats would play with the ends of the knot? What’s the connection to pussy?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          That’s who wore them. Basically we were all supposed to wear man-styled suits with straight skirts, but you had a choice of jewel-neck blouses or “feminine” bows.

          • So feminine and pussy were equated? How professional.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            There was such a thing as a pussycat bow going back to the 1900s, but that’s not how it was used.

          • Oh, shortened from pussycat. Still. By 1960 it only meant one thing.

      • Oh, were you self-conscious wearing them because of the name or was it less of a thing before Trump made it so notorious?

  • Stulexington

    I wonder if the courts are playing the same games the Republicans keep trying: basically make their ruling too close to the election for it to be appealed by the 8th.

  • Barbarablewis4

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !hg425f:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !hg425f:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash725DirectSquareGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!hg425f:….,….

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      You’d have to be nuts to buy a Range Rover on that amount of gross pay.

  • Reality Kills

    I love boobs.

  • eyelashviper

    Early voting ended here in Floriduh yesterday, with Dems ahead, but not by a lot. However, those stats only refer to one’s registered status, and it is likely that some Gopers voted for Hillary and not vv. Also too, Independents are likely voting for her over the Orange Cockwomble.
    So tired of all this, can’t imagine how Hillary must feel.

    • I have a secret hack into Hillary’s calendar, and here is a summary:

      Plans for November 9: Speeches, thanking people, administrative stuff.
      Plans for November 10: Naps. Tea. Stupid television.

    • Raan

      “Cockwomble” is going in the swear vocabulary.

      • eyelashviper

        Clever Scots…

  • ken_kukec

    How come there’s no “I voted” sticker on the model’s left breasteses, huh? Denying it the franchise must for sure violate the Constitution’s “lift and separate” clause.

  • DutchS

    Based on two [non-political] things that have preoccupied a lot of people recently, I think we should have two criteria that should bar people from voting:
    1. If you find changing your clocks twice a year to be excruciatingly difficult. The NYT op-ed guy who argued for the abolition of time zones, thereby showing he apparently doesn’t understand why day and night happen, should be on an ankle bracelet, too.
    2. If you find it so h-a-a-a-rd to figure out which of TWO, count ’em, TWO ways is the right way to plug in a USB plug.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      The USB thing is easy. The correct way is almost always the opposite of my first attempt. The chances of being 180 degrees out increase with the difficulty in reaching the port.

  • whitroth

    Dammit, I’m annoyed with Obama. Well, Hillary, will you *PLEASE* stand up and take these ammosexuals’ guns away!

    And then have her Attorney General prosecute each and every one of these scum for violating the 14th Amendment.

  • theblackdog

    Maybe it’s just me, but I would be suspicious of someone showing up at my door claiming they are from the Democrats or the Clinton campaign, or similar and that they would collect my absentee ballot to take to be dropped off at the polls. I’d rather drop that ballot into the mail myself because at least the USPS is obligated not to fuck with it.

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