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That's a shit-eating grin if ever a grin ate shit.
That’s a shit-eating grin if ever a grin ate shit.

More tales of voting shenanigans today, and wouldn’t you know it, they’re all about Republicans who worry that letting people vote is a bad idea, not about nefarious Democrats doing fraud — which only makes sense, since Republicans are so certain that everyone deserves a gun, but the right to vote has to be carefully regulated lest Republicans not win those sneaky Dems steal an election.

For starters, let’s take a look at Alabama, where Secretary of State John Merrill — guess which party! — is at least not suppressing the vote, but he certainly doesn’t like the idea of making voting more accessible. Merrill came out this week against the idea of automatic voter registration, whereby any time an adult who’s eligible to vote would be registered when they use state services, like going to whatever they call the DMV in Alabama. Merrill thinks that’s simply a terrible idea, and said so to the nice folks behind Answering the Call, a documentary about voting rights:

In short, Merrill thinks automatic registration is only for the lazy and the shiftless: “I don’t think that just because your birthday comes around, that you ought to be registered to vote.” After reeling off the names of a whole bunch of civil rights heroes, like John Lewis, Martin Luther King, A. Philip Randolph, and of course Rosa Parks, whom he admires and thinks are simply the best people ever, he says it would be a slap in the face to these great people to just let anyone be registered to vote:

These people fought — some of them were beaten, some of them were killed — because of their desire to ensure that everybody that wanted to had the right to register to vote and participate in the process. I’m not going to cheapen the work that they did. I’m not going to embarrass them by allowing somebody that’s too sorry to get up off of their rear end to go register to vote … because they think they deserve the right because they’ve turned 18.

Merrill said it was pretty much as lowdown and dishonorable as giving a bunch of losers participation trophies: “You only get a trophy if you win!” On the plus side, at least he didn’t insist potential voters prove themselves worthy to register by running a gauntlet of police dogs and fire hoses.

John Lewis probably needs to slap his own face, seeing as how he actually has advocated for automatic voter registration since 1976, when he joined President Jimmy Carter in proposing national automatic voter registration. That’s 40 years that Lewis has been sullying his own legacy, and he still hasn’t learned his lesson, because even now he supports the idea. Merrill should have a talk with Rep. Lewis about what a disappointment Lewis has turned out to be.

Merrill went on to explain that voting is a privilege, after all, and one that needs to be earned:

If you’re too sorry or lazy to get up off of your rear and to go register to vote, or to register electronically, and then to go vote, then you don’t deserve that privilege. As long as I’m Secretary of State of Alabama, you’re going to have to show some initiative to become a registered voter in this state.

Now there’s a man who respects the sanctity of the vote, and wants to protect it from lazy people. Sadly, the interview ended before Merrill got the chance to say all polling stations should be relocated to remote mountain tops, since, Martin Luther King was so proud of having been to one of those, too.

Slimy though he is, Merrill is only opposed to expanding voting — putting him way ahead of, let’s say, Ohio, where in late September a federal court ordered Secretary of State John Husted to restore to the voting rolls over a million people purged because they hadn’t voted in the 2012 or 2014 elections. You might think a court order would be something a fellow like Husted, who is so concerned about the rule of law, might follow, but don’t be silly — Husted only wants some of those purged to be able to vote again, and has submitted a counter-proposal:

The state’s plan, which they called a “reasonable compromise,” would exclude anyone illegally purged before 2015, anyone who needs to vote by mail, and anyone who has moved since they last registered to vote. Only those purged last year who have the same address they had in 2011 and can vote in person would qualify.

As ThinkProgress points out, this would really screw over low-income people, since they move more often, as well as people with disabilities, who rely on voting by mail. Which is true, but maybe we could just call them lazy and call it good enough. Happily, the court ruled October 19 that the state must allow almost all of those illegally purged to vote, yes, really, no tagbacks or crossed fingers.

“If those who were unlawfully removed from the voter rolls are not allowed to vote, then the Secretary of State is continuing to to disenfranchise voters in violation of federal law,” Judge George Smith warned.

The state was also required to notify purged voters who’d requested absentee ballots that they can vote early or on election day by provisional ballot, though they’d still have to go to a polling place.

In other Ohio voting fuckery, however, the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear a lawsuit challenging Ohio’s policy of discarding provisional ballots if they contain the slightest error, like not including a middle name, signing their name in the box that says “print name,” or in any way including information different from state records — even if the state records are in error. So if your last name is Kelley and some clerk thought it was Kelly, filling in a provisional ballot with your actual name would invalidate your vote. Fun! The state also changed the amount of time allowed to correct such an error from 10 to seven days, because it could.

And finally, more on North Carolina’s brilliantly targeted assault on black voters, which instead of overtly preventing all blacks from voting like in the bad old days, throws up a thousand carefully planned roadblocks to exclude as many black votes as possible. And this is all after a federal court invalidated the state’s terrible 2013 law restricting voting.

In addition to overly broad purges of voting rolls in three counties, which the NAACP has challenged in court, Republican-controlled county elections boards have rushed to find creative ways of suppressing the black vote, like vastly reducing early voting hours, or cutting the number of early voting locations. In Lenoir County, where Democrats outnumber Republicans two to one, the Republicans on the board (all county boards comprise two Republicans and one Democrat, no matter the actual county makeup) cut early voting time by three-quarters, and restricted early voting to a single site for a large, rural county, requiring long trips to cast a vote. Across the state, boards have eliminated early voting on Sundays, since many African-Americans were accustomed to going to vote after church. Other counties eliminated polling places on college campuses, since college students are notorious Democrats — so hey, at least the restrictions aren’t all motivated by racism.

As we said in our earlier piece on North Carolina, Donald Trump appears to be right that the elections this year are rigged in many places — as usual, he’s just lying about who’s doing the rigging.

[Slate / Answering the Call / ThinkProgress / ThinkProgress again / ThinkProgress yet again / NYT]

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  • Me not sure

    I guess he feels the same way about the right buy a gun without a background check.

  • A Grumpy Cat

    “I’m sick and fucking tired of Florida getting all the press! We’re just as bad, if not worse!”

    – A North Carolina’s opinion

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      It’s okay, AGC, you got the rest of the union to help you along.

  • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

    If you’re too sorry or lazy to get up off of your rear and to go register to vote, or to register electronically, and then to go vote, then you don’t deserve that privilege.

    One more time for the people in the back: VOTING IS A FUNDAMENTAL RIGHT, NOT A PRIVELEGE!

  • SterWonk

    … as usual, he’s just lying about who’s doing the rigging.

    “Somebody’s doing the raping rigging, Don Dok, I mean, you know– I mean, somebody’s doing it”

  • Joe Beese

    There are no rat dicks salty enough, nor large enough bag of them, to have this guy be compelled to eat.

    • Courser

      No salt. This douchenozzle has to choke them down raw.

      • Bad Hombre Ron

        With a teaspoonful of wasabi on each and every one.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I wonder where he stands on voting while shiftless?

    • Shucky Ducky

      Not to mention while D-Money and Smoothie.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        it’s weird, isn’t it, that people as lasy as that somehow find the energy to vote so many times?

  • Nounverb911

    As a small child, Merrill’s hobbies included pulling the wings off flies and cooking ants with a magnifying glass.

  • JVisconti

    Alabama has come a long way when a Sec of State knows 4 black people by name.
    Boy or Girl was so much easier.

  • Crystalclear12

    Way to keep your voters pissed and motivated.

  • Randy Riddle

    “And poll taxes can generate much needed revenue for our state … “

  • bubbuhh

    OT Steven Segal, former movie MRA and martial “artiste,” still full time sissy girl and Putin fanboy, finally goes all the way. Segal accepted Russian citizenship cuz Putin tastes good.
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-37858513

    • Nounverb911

      As a furriner, he can’t vote in N’merika any more….

  • Nounverb911

    “If everyone could vote, they might not elect me.”
    –John Merrill

    • Crystalclear12

      Might?

  • Scooby

    Is it just me or does he look like one of those creepy Christian pedophiles?

  • Lucas Foxx

    I’m not sure Merrill thinks “voting is a privilege” as much as he believes “voting is for the privileged”.

  • DerrickWildcat

    See, Trump is right. It IS rigged.

  • h4rr4r

    As a voter and gun owner I want something explained to me, how come I have to register to vote but not to own guns?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s a puzzle!

  • memzilla

    Democrats: “Get Out The Vote”
    Rethuglicans: “Get The Voters Out”

    • h4rr4r

      Democrats: “Get Out The Vote”
      Rethuglicans: “Get The Blah Voters Out”

      FTFY

  • Shan the Nasty Libtart

    What’s next? A 72hr waiting period, like for getting an abortion?

    “Go home and think about whether you really want to vote! And, no, weekends and holidays don’t count toward the waiting period.”

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    It takes a special kind of gall to invoke civil rights icons when you’re the exact kind of man who would have sicced dogs on them 40 years ago, and justified it by saying they were commies.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Right out of the playbook

  • JVisconti

    Was John Ashcroft a uber GOP sperm donor to have this many lookalikes?

    • Historicat

      Apparently the kids from The Boys from Brazil are not actually based on Hitler’s DNA.

  • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

    Oh, by heroes of the civil rights movement, I thought he meant Faubus, Maddox, and Wallace.

    • Brendan_M

      Poor Bull Connor…

  • Lefty Frizzell

    He’s a fucking racist

  • TJ Barke

    Someone post a good headdesk gif for me, I don’t have any on my phone.

  • Blacktop Cadence

    OT: subbing for AP classes is super dull. Goody goodies do nothing to annoy me

    • Brendan_M

      You never had me in AP Government. I always hijacked the class to rail against the Bush administration. The teacher just politely handed me a demerit after class for all the expletives.

  • Nasty Astraea

    Now, I’m no constitutional scholar, but I’m pretty sure we have the right to vote, not the right to register.

  • goonemeritus

    I respect Lincoln to much to ever vote Republican.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Dear fellow Southern American Caucasoids.

    Stop with this fuckin racist bullshit, you anti-American fucktards.

    Sincerely,

    Someone that’s tired of your ignorant as fuck bullshit.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    MLK’s end goal in fighting for the right to vote was not that people should have the right to vote but that they should also have to fight for the right to vote. I don’t know why I didn’t see that before.

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      Same with partying. If you don’t fight, you should not be allowed to party. Did you think the Beastie Boys wanted to make it easier for you lousy pukes?

      • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

        Livin’ at home is such a drag when your mom takes away your best porno mag.

  • cousin itt

    “I don’t think that just because your birthday comes around, that you ought to be registered to vote.” But you have the obligation to die.

    The law says men must register with Selective Service within 30 days of their 18th birthday. That means men are required to register with Selective Service sometime during the 30 days before their 18th birthday, their 18th birthday, and the following 29 days after their 18th birthday – that is a 60-day registration period.

    A young man who fails to register with Selective Service may be ineligible for opportunities that may be important to his future. He must register to be eligible for federal student financial aid, state-funded student financial aid in many states, most federal employment, some state employment, security clearance for contractors, job training under the Workforce Investment Act, and U.S. citizenship for immigrant men.

    https://www.sss.gov

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I’m sure the Rethugs would find some excuse to say this is a bad idea, but we could hand out voter registration forms along with the SS registration papers.

      • artem1s

        and the girls would get their registrations when they have that special ‘talk’ with the school nurse

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    You sure have got to hand it to these Rethug mini-dictators and their ability to doublespeak: MLK fought and died for your right to vote, so we need to make registration difficult and complicated. Makes sense…?

    • Nounverb911

      Orwell taught them well.

      • revenant

        Orwelll understood them well

        the converse is obviously not true

    • Carpe Vagenda

      well, hell, why should it be easier for you to vote than it was for MLK? Do you think you deserve that? What Nobel prize did you ever win?

  • Debbies are like taco trucks

    Y’know, I have never slapped anybody in the face, but in Mr. John Merril’s case, I might be willing to start.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    There once was a douche named Merrill
    Who thought lazy voters were terrible
    He promised today to take your rights away
    Fuck that guy

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      This is so much harder than the limericks on ‘Wait, Wait’.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        There once was an orange-topped lump,
        Who got off his billionaire rump,
        And ran to be Prez
        ‘Cause the wingnuts all sez
        There’s no one who’s greater than _______.

        • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

          GUMP?

    • Debbies are like taco trucks

      that is so beautiful *sniff*

  • Daisy

    Let’s say it together, folks: voting is a right, not a privilege.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      It’s an obligation! In Australia you can be fined for not voting. It’s always a bit sad that GOTV is possibly more important than the popularity of the candidate or the merit of his/her policies.

      • Tania

        We still have people like my mum who get crossed off and dont ballot. The upside is we take the Mickey out of politics and get some absolute characters voted in..make politics fun. Voting is on Saturday although I love postal and or early voting-but then miss the sausage sizzle.

    • memzilla

      “…since the country’s founding, Americans have been torn between ‘voting as a right and voting as something that only the right people should do.'”

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “Voting as something only the right people should do.”
        I think that’s the GOPtard philosophy these days.

        • artem1s

          WHITE should do, FTFY

    • doktorzoom

      And a floor wax or dessert topping.

  • Bad Hombre Ron

    If you ask nicely, I’ll bet Our Justin would allow y’all to join Canada. WE have automatic voter registration. Heck, it’s next to impossible NOT to be registered to vote.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “If you’re too sorry or lazy to get up off of your rear and to go
    register to vote, or to register electronically, and then to go vote,
    then you don’t deserve that privilege.”

    I can hear your whistle from here, dickface. Secretary of State of Alabama, indeed.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I do like how he had to amend the statement after “get up off your rear”, when he remembered that half the people who put him into office couldn’t be parted from their Rascals with a crowbar.

    • Arolpin

      Really? He didn’t even say shiftless.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Rigger rigor.

    • zerosumgame0005

      needs more mortis, with VOTES of course!!!!

  • JVisconti

    OT: Bamz at a NC campus saying when he started his 8 year prezniting many of you were 10 y/o and now I feel old. Voice from the crowd shouts ‘you still look good’. Bamz sez Michelle thinks so too.
    Gonna miss this man.

    • Daisy

      I had just turned eleven right before the election.

      • JVisconti

        I won’t bore you with fact that Ike or Nixon or any Bush could never speak like him.

        • artem1s

          W had his moments of being self effacing. They were just horribly cringe worthy in their awkwardness (ask Angela Merkel)

      • JVisconti

        As a really oldz, I hope you vote long after I’m in a chair waiting for an attendant to come wipe my chin after my morning pablum.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Let’s go one step further and say that only veterans should vote, because Service Ensures Citizenship! You could even let them get one extra vote for every limb they’ve lost.

    • doktorzoom

      Now, now, Mr. Heinlein, you just stay dead now, OK?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Should have died before writing “Farmhand’s Freehold”, if you ask me.

        • Vienna Woods

          As long as it was after The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, I’m good.

          And yes, I know, it is horrifically libertarian, but I just love Mike.

          • artem1s

            always thought TMIAHM would have been the most adaptable of his novels to the screen. a lot of the politics could be updated to reflect current trends and cut out the worst of the misogyny that goes with every Heinlein novel. It’s a revolution story at it’s heart. You could even take a page from The Martian and base the ‘science’ of it on what is currently or soon to be possible tech. fun imagery for the cinematographer/artistic director/cgi people. and they could borrow imagery from multiple short stories set on the moon, like The Menace from Earth. who wouldn’t want to get to colonize the Moon once they see the possibility of the flying cavern? screw the flying car. I want a pair of my own wings so I can fly in low gravity.

          • Jamoche

            In 1977, when I was 12, Holly Jones was the first female character I ever encountered who won her boy back by keeping on being her own bad engineer self instead of getting a makeover and acting dumb – and that included all the stories aimed directly at girls that were written in 1977. I credit that with me being a software engineer now.

            Plus she had wings.

          • artem1s

            I didn’t become an engineer but I definitely found her far easier to relate to than the walking tits that were most of his female characters. plus she had wings!

      • Historicat

        Just give him a relative or two to bang and he’ll be fine.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Would work great if the only veterans who voted were me and Jonny on Maui.

      • Arolpin

        I’m a veteran and I vote!

        Of course that reminds me of the ONLY instance of voter fraud that I personally know of. Serving in the Navy, CO of the Squadron has all-hands muster, talks about importance of voting (this is 1992, so Bush I v Big Dog), asks for show of hands of those who have voted. Tells us that if we voted, we are excused for the day. The next morning I’m talking to a shipmate who tells how he felt so guilty that about the lecture they received about not voting that he went to the nearest polling place, completely unregistered, and asked if he could vote. Poll worker asks who he is going to vote for, he responds Bush, poll worker says something like, “In that case, go ahead” and lets him vote.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          The only time I ever hear about actual individual voting fraud it’s someone bypassing the very minimal requirements to vote for a Rethug.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’m a atheistic, pacifist, socialist vet, too.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          OK, we’ll let you in the club.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Too bad Service does not ensure Citizenship – look up Joao Herbert.
      There’s a 40-something Korean-American, adopted as a child, being deported right now because his adoptive parents didn’t bother with the paperwork. That’s how fucked-up our immigration system is.
      http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/adopted-brought-us-korean-man-deported-43086417

    • bupkus23

      Sounds like someone’s been reading “Starship Troopers”.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Alabama: First in College Football. Last in every conceivable quality of life statistic.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      “Hey, no fair! We don’t even have football!”
      -Mississippi

      • DerrickWildcat

        Mississippi, Mississippi State, Ol’ Miss, New Miss, Southern Miss, Southerner Miss…I can’t even keep up on how many Football schools are there.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          *amend to “good football”.

    • Bub the Bad Zombre

      The amount of money they pay that goddamn megalomaniac who coaches the Crimson Tide tells you everything you need to know about the priorities of the state of Alabama.

  • Bigly_Gnome

    I worked for John Husted. I take special pleasure every time he goes to court to defend one of his voter restrictions and gets his ass handed to him.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    There is no Hell hot enough for this asshole.

  • Oblios_Cap

    It might just be me, but every politician I see on TV looks like they’ve all been in prison for years. Are they all that allergic to sunlight?

    • BadKitty904

      I would like to hope that’s foreshadowing…

    • bupkus23

      Hey, if you want a political career, gotta protect against skin cancer.

      Them sores expose the lizard skin beneath….

  • ltmcdies

    that picture of this guy at the top is the very definition of “punchable face”

  • NastyBossetti

    “They think they deserve the right because they’ve turned 18.”
    Again, I am no Constitutional scholar, but I am pretty sure that’s exactly the thing that determines when a person “deserves” the right to vote in this country.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “They certainly don’t check for sanity.”
      — Ted Cruz

  • Carpe Vagenda

    heh. So, remember when Mike Pence was pretty much run out of conservatism for trying to do the whole path to citizenship thing?

    Republican vice presidential nominee Mike Pence is declining to say whether Paul Ryan should be re-elected as speaker of the House.

    Pence’s comments in an interview in National Review are startling because Penceand Ryan served together in the House and have been seen as close allies and friends. Ryan heaped praise on Pence when Donald Trump selected him as his running mate…

    The National Review reports that Pence declined three times to answer whether Ryan should be re-elected as speaker, while insisting that “my respect for Paul Ryan is boundless.”</blockquote

    • Lefty Frizzell

      If you know you can’t ever wash the Trump-stank off, you may as well indulge yourself and take a bath in it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ryan can at least fake intelligence. Pence has no way to do that.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Pence denied Ryan three times, you say? What does that remind me of?

      • Bad Hombre Ron

        ‘Peter, would you like some more rolls?’
        ‘No thanks, Jesus.’
        ‘Are you sure? There’s lots.’
        ‘No, really, thanks, Jesus.’
        ‘Oh, come on, just one more.’
        ‘Dammit, NO, Jesus!’

        • artem1s

          Jesus: falls for it every time!

  • chortlingdingo

    Hey guy, voting isn’t a privilege in this country, it’s a right.

  • Bub the Bad Zombre

    I think we are being unfair to Sec. Merrill. After all, rights are not absolute – they come with responsibilities. There should be more of this sort of leadership among Republican politicians. Another area where Mr. Merrill and his fellow Republicans might want to emphasize the idea that with rights come responsibilities would be in firearms ownership.
    After all, “If you’re too sorry or lazy to get up off of your rear and to go register” to own guns, should you be allowed that privilege? Perhaps gun owners should be licensed, and their weapons registered. I’m sure no one would quibble with such simple, common sense ways of regulating gun ownership, right?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Whoa, that’s a Colt Peacemaker too far, hombre!

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Can we just aggregate all the voter articles, bind them up and send them to John Roberts every few months? Maybe with a helpful reminder that gosh sometimes laws matter?!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Because I think he should have to work for his job satisfaction.

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        But I wanted to title the binder as “Reminder, you were wrong.”

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I don’t think he was wrong. I think he was lying.

          • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

            Being wrong and constantly reminded about it is way worse than being a liar for a guy like Roberts.

            I got an ex husband for a reason!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I just feel as if it would give him a warm glow of accomplishment to know that he singlehandedly returned a fair chunk of America to the days before the Voting Rights Act. It’s a goal for those people.

          • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

            Possible but at some point it would get out that someone sends Robert’s a you so wrong binder every few months and that will always be around thanks to the internet. Eternal wrongness!!!

    • BadKitty904

      Perhaps it might help if Roberts actually met a black American. And no, Clarence Thomas doesn’t count.

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        But then they won’t have anyone to claim as their black friend!!! :(

    • artem1s

      only if they are printed with this letterhead
      Chief Justice John Roberts, worse than Chief Justice Roger B. Taney
      this is how history will remember you, asshole

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Trumpanzees getting rambunctious: https://static01.nyt.com/images/2016/11/03/us/03church1/03church1-master768.jpg

    Hopewell Missionary Baptist Church, Greenville, Miss.
    Cops said it’s a hate crime, but “can’t say if race was a factor.” (Could be someone who hates Baptists, right?)

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      There’s more of that black outreach.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Blahptists.

    • Nounverb911

      Last time I looked the gofundme was around $160K.

      https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/793841472432775169

    • BadKitty904

      How very ’60s…

      • revenant

        the Classics never go out of style

        • BadKitty904

          We need to work harder to ensure that some do.

    • Shan the Nasty Libtart

      Wait, what? How can it be a hate crime without race being a factor?

      • NastyBossetti

        If it’s a hate crime against the most persecuted group in our entire country – Christians!

        • Shan the Nasty Libtart

          Who knew there were a bunch of atheist Trumpsterites?

  • bubbuhh
  • Jay
    • Jay

      My brain is hanging upside down.

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – Obama is giving Donald Trump the bizness in NC and it’s so very good.

  • Nounverb911

    HAHA Donnie, the airspace around Air Force One is closed and YOU have to wait.
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/794197242471124992

    • Taco Treg
      • BadKitty904

        Trump is making that clearer by the hour…

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      Listen, Donniekins, just because YOU can’t multitask doesn’t mean Barry can’t.

      • pstockholm

        Don’t think he can even uni-task.

    • Bub the Bad Zombre

      Imagine the someone running as a Republican! – the party of McConnell, Boehner, Ryan, Chaffetz, Gowdy, Issa, Gohmert, King, Gingrich, Palin, etc, etc – having the nerve to criticize President Obama for not doing the job he was elected to do.

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      I was unaware that they stripped the entire communications center out of Air Force One. Or that Congress decided to show up and pass bills a week before the election.

    • clubseal

      Creating jobs and fixing Obamacare sound like jobs for Congress, unless the president has some kind of magic wand.

  • Bill D. Burger

    I don’t usually talk to Alabama Trump supporters, but when I do, I often ask for large fries.

    • kev

      y’all wanna supersize that?

  • Royal Ugly Hombre

    How about literacy tests, to make sure they really want it?

    • BadKitty904

      Do they still get the 40 acres and the mule?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Reparations or GTFO.

  • Joe Beese

    Oh, dear.

    WBUR/MassINC (A-) NH poll: (10/29-11/1, 500 LV, 4.4 MoE)

    Trump – 40
    Clinton – 39
    Johnson – 10
    Stein – 3

    A bit of an outlier. And Hillary doesn’t have “must-win” states, per se. But NH has been the weakest brick in her firewall and we don’t want to see any Trump momentum there.

    • My mother lives in norther NH and I go up there most weekends. I haven’t seen a single Trump sign. Lots of HRC signs.

    • bupkus23

      Aah, those polled Hamsters were just fucking with the MASSholes conducting the poll….

  • anwisok
    • Beanz&Berryz

      Thanks for the soothe…

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Making voting a “privilege” shifts it from being a right and so allows these Republican dick whistles to pile-up barrier after barrier to block certain peoples from voting.We need a Supreme Court decision deciding that the ability to vote is a Right in the Constitution so that all this premeditated vote-fuckery can have a sharp splintery wooden stake driven through its heart Constitutionally.

    Plus also too, the Justice Dept. needs to bring action to pull each state found guilty of this sort of vote-fuckery under the full weight and scrutiny of the Voting Rights Act to put an end to it once and for all.

    Fuck them all…

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    “Get off your lazy butts and switch seats like Rosa Parks did!” added Merrill.

  • BadKitty904

    Beady-eyed lil’ racist. ain’t he?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    I am under the impression that provisional ballots are a sham any way. They are rarely, if ever, counted, and exist primarily to pacify people who have just been deprived of their rights. It would probably be better if they didn’t exist, and people stayed outraged?

  • Snopes Shop

    Bamz killin it in Miami right now

    • Vincent Ricola

      “She made me a better president” was a great line.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Hopeful headline from the future: “Democratic Congress passes SOS Dope Slap law, creating a new federal position that monitors each state’s Secretary of State and administers corporal punishment as needed”

    • bupkus23

      Sure way to revive their “states’ rights” foofaraw – you know, the Tenth Amendment and all, y’know…

      They only honor the Constitution when it suits them – even if they have to make up twisted “original intent” arguments that aren’t….

  • DainBramage

    I propose that for every voter that is intentionally disenfranchised, denied their right as a citizen to vote, the person or persons in charge of the voter purge get one year in a federal prison.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And 1000 voter registrations from their Party are canceled…

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Or 10 lashes.

  • Anna Rompage

    If you’re willing to get beaten, lynched, or even killed, then you can vote… otherwise, you’re too lazy and I will not permit it

    • Beanz&Berryz

      You actually have to have been beaten, lynched or killed to even vote. Just being willing shows a lack of commitment to the cause of letting Awful White People do Awful Things in the name of America or God.

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      Except for those thugs who are getting beaten and pepper sprayed and attacked by dogs while protesting Black lives and Native rights, because that’s just what they deserve. And not if you’re the victim of a hate crime, because, come on, what even is that? Everything is about race with you people. Also, not if your mosque was firebombed. You know why. Just make sure you’re exercising your civil rights in the right way and not the brown way, and you’ll be fine.

  • Spurning Beer

    Well, this explains why it’s called the Voting Privilege Act, not the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

    • bupkus23

      Well, they’ve already gutted the most effective way of enforcing that, since racism no longer exists and they’re not racists.

  • rosenbomb

    So let me get this straight…things that white republicans want are automatically “rights.” They have a right to own a gun, a right to spew racist thoughts, and a right to discriminate against others based on religion. But the minute other people want something, it becomes a privilege. Voting is a privilege that women and POC should be oh-so-grateful to have after decades of fighting. Fuck them sideways.

    • clubseal

      Well, those things are rights, no matter the color of the skin of the person who wants them.

  • Relativicus

    “Sadly, the interview ended before Merrill got the chance to say all polling stations should be relocated to remote mountain tops, since, Martin Luther King was so proud of having been to one of those, too.”

    Bravo!

  • Republicans know there’s zero way they can win if every eligible voter actually gets to vote. The only way they can survive is by preventing people from voting.

    They sincerely believe that it’s unfair to let everyone vote, because higher turnout usually favors Democrats. They’re like a slow runner who thinks it’s unfair if anyone faster than him gets to be in the race.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That’s how they Earn that trophy…

      • revenant

        by hobbling, nobbling and tripping up the rightful winners.

    • Bub the Bad Zombre

      After all, if they want to improve their performance in elections they’ll have to start coming up with policies and positions that don’t repel everyone except angry, stupid white men who wear their camo t-shirts to funerals, have gunracks in the back of their pickup trucks and who listen to Rush Limbaugh while driving around looking for kittens to run down. And that’s not going to happen.

      • They can’t win primaries without appealing to the NASCAR set. They can’t win generals without doing things that would piss off that group. They’re fucked. And the only way around that is playing dirty to try to make sure those NASCAR folks are a majority.

        • Bub the Bad Zombre

          Very true.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    To paraphrase Joseph Welch, have you no sense of shame, sir, at last? Have you left no sense of shame?
    FFS.

    • Bub the Bad Zombre

      He never had one to start with. None of them do. The only time Rethugs ever pretend to have a sense of shame is when they are caught with their hand stuck in the cookie jar all the way up to their perfumed armpits.

      • He never had one to start with. None of them do. The only time Rethugs ever pretend to have a sense of shame is when they are caught with their hand stuck in the cookie jar pu$$y all the way up to their perfumed armpits.

        FTFY

      • alpacapunchbowl

        So true. Of course Joe McCarthy never had a shred of decency in the first place either. The original shame of Wisconsin, and sadly he has a lot of competition these days. The ghost of Fightin’ Bob La Follette is PISSED.

  • Odd Jørgensen

    Ah, all the ratfucking we have come to love and cherish the Repugnican`t folks for. Be still my heart.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I wonder…when assholes like this invoke the names of Martin Luther King etc. to justify disenfranchising black voters, are they stupid enough to really believe it, or are they consciously thrusting a middle finger in the faces of those historically iconic uppity n*****s?

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      yes.

  • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

    i am so sick of these evil people!
    how do they sleep at night?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      On the backs of those they destroyed, I’d guess. Maybe with rose petals shoved into the mattress.

    • Mintie

      Here, I googled it for you :)

      http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

      • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

        lol!
        so true!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Welp, now I know what my cause for the next few years will be. Automatic voter registration.

    • artem1s

      I’m hoping this will also be NFLTG Bamz retirement hobby for the next few decades

    • bupkus23

      A bit harder to do, but probably no less important – a Constitutional Amendment enshrining the RIGHT ( not the “privilege” ) to vote.

      Of course, the way these guys treat most of the Constitution ( only supporting the parts they like, by the interpretation they like, regardless of judicial rulings ) would probably mean they’d just ignore/fight that, too….

  • chicken thief

    Why didn’t they think of this shit four years ago?

    ~ sobbing Mitt Rmoney

  • Callyson

    I’m not going to embarrass them by allowing somebody that’s too sorry to get up off of their rear end to go register to vote … because they think they deserve the right because they’ve turned 18…

    If you’re too sorry or lazy to get up off of your rear and to go register to vote, or to register electronically, and then to go vote, then you don’t deserve that privilege.

    I’m sorry–when did voting become a privilege, as opposed to a right?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c715d60367960bbe95a2a88b06358843ebaa01f74b95b07bb8a06b37d80f1a19.png

    • clubseal

      That was my thought as well. I guess they call it “The Bill of Privileges” for a reason.

    • Serai 1

      When did it become either, as opposed to a DUTY?

      I think that may be one of the problems with our system. We don’t think of voting as something we are obligated to do for the good of the nation. We think of it as a “right” that we can exercise or not according to our whims. Thus, it can also be withheld by people who think this or that person doesn’t or shouldn’t have that right. If we thought of it as a duty and an obligation, maybe it would be a civic action, rather than one taken because we want to “express our opinion” or “make a statement”. We’ve made it all about the VOTER, and not about the nation. If we shifted the emphasis off OURSELVES and made it about ALL OF US, maybe things would be different.

      …probably not, though. A lot of people would just take it as an excuse to whine and complain about how they HAVE TO VOTE OMG YOU CAN’T MAKE ME. But at least if we thought of it that way – and our laws reflected that – more people would actually do it, because they have to.

  • Serai 1

    He doesn’t really get the gist of this “citizenry” thing, does he?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      People not like him… are citizens? He is shocked and does not believe. If he does not believe, perhaps reality will bend to his will.

  • Panika MCD

    what I find strange is that the SS Merrill seems to think he gets a national participation award by proxy for appointing a Fred Gray to a commission or something because Fred Gray got a national award. but that’s just me.

    maybe, since his daughter seems to have talked to civil rights leaders more than he has, she can update him on why Daddy is a bad man.

  • Iron Monkey

    I’m not going to embarrass them

    Someone needs to ask John Lewis how embarrassed he would by by automatic voter registration. Can’t ask anyone else on Merrill’s list since they are dead.

    • Serai 1

      Convenient, isn’t it? I wonder if he’s thought to ask any LIVING black people whether not having to do any special action in order to be able to go vote would “embarrass” them.

  • Serai 1

    Here is a great video, all on the myths about voting and why you should vote. YES, it’s a Cracked video, but it’s very good, setting out the reasons in clear, easy language. Pass it along to anyone you know who whines about NOT GONNA VOTE BECAUSE REEEEEEZONZ.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVDK0U4-YRc

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    But the halfwit, treasonous, ethically challenged Republicans in Congress who are failing in their Congressional duty by refusing to vote on the Presidents nominations to the Supreme Court and other Federal Courts are just peachy…AAAAAAAH! It’s easier to buy a gun in Alabama than it is to vote. That is truly fucked up.

    • Hardly Ideal

      In that case, maybe Alabamians should vote by shooting holes in their ballots.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        That made me laugh. I can just imagine, “Come own, hun, time to go hunt down them ballots. They won’t shoot themselves you know.”

  • The Nasty Librarian!

    A Message brought to the masses from the Department of This Hurts Me More than it Does You.

    I think I said that backwards.

  • ExpatGirl

    What. The. Ever. Loving. Fuck.

    Merrill’s quote reminds me of an Apartheid defense of Pass Laws as being a gift to teh blecks because it meant they had handy place to store their papers.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I have liked whiskey tango foxtrot, but I may have to adopt whiskey tango everloving foxtrot… (echo lima has no more syllables, but doesn’t seem to roll off as well)

      And thumbs up too for Historical Reference to the Pass Laws… certain things should not be forgotten.

  • We have a long, proud tradition of fighting for the right to vote in this country.

    As a proud southern traditionalist, Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill wants that tradition to continue.

    This is another guy I’d like to step onto an elevator with.

    • Mintie

      I take it you’d be the Amanda to his Sofia, then?

  • FZsdaughter

    I wish there was a Canadian internet so we didn’t have to see anything from the US.

    • We gotta keep an eye on those fuckers! And, also too, make sure the right ones are claiming refugee status in December

  • Indiepalin

    There’s nothing worse than a rigger who thinks he has a right to vote.

  • dshwa

    World’s Greatest Democracy*

    *some restrictions may apply.

  • mml1996

    This is why you vote.

    This is why you vote during presidential year and mid-terms.

    Idiots like these would never pop up when people show up to vote.

  • Land Shark Hombre
  • Rambo Furum
    • i am so scared.

      jesus.

      • Rambo Furum

        how about now?
        Ave Trumpus!

  • you guys seriously. i can’t take this election anymore. i already drink booze for breakfast, phone bank at lunch, do obamacare in my spare time and mainline whiskey after 7.

    i think there is only one thing left. i will watch unextended LOTR I, II and III on loop for the next 5 days.

  • “On the plus side, at least he didn’t insist potential voters prove themselves worthy to register by running a gauntlet of police dogs and fire hoses.” But he was THINKING it.

  • alnnc

    Sorry about getting this in so late, but some additional info on NC. All county boards of election are controlled by the party of the governor. We have a good chance of ousting the Republican, Pat McCrory and at least taking control of elections back. So if you have not voted and live in NC, get off your butt ASAP and vote for Roy Cooper. Early voting ends Saturday at 1:00.

  • I sure hope that the good voters of Alabami show some initiative and vote Sec of State Merrill’s dumb sorry ass out of office the next chance they get.

  • hvdv

    Wow. A lesson in how what seems like small-time no-good-doing, because, ha ha, Alabama, actually is impressively awful evil. Voting is not a right, is what I hear? Only if this clown thinks you’re not too “lazy” do you get the “privilege” to vote? Nice. As I am an immigrant, who is allowed to live and work and pay taxes here, but is not allowed to vote, I find these petty attempts to stop people from voting laughable. Surely no civilized country would fall for that nonsense, right? RIGHT?

  • CT_Katie

    Just called Rep. Lewis’s office and told them this piece of shit is citing him to justify his awfulness. i don’t think they knew about it.

    This guy is such a fucking two-faced liar.

  • Shelli Kae

    Fuck me! Im sure some sorry and lazy people are good people but Im not attracted to lazy, sorry people. Hmmm, wonder where he learned that language?
    Funny how 18 yr old men are registered for a draft yet doing it for easier voting purposes is not cool.
    Also too, think there may be some coded language at play here? Lazy, sorry….usually white supremacy code language.
    I despise these people. I will say the way they are committing voter fraud is so detailed it makes it close to impossible to make a case about it to people voting for Trump. They dont have the cognitive ability to follow the plot and lose interest in 10 seconds flat. Same w making the case between the NY FBI’s witch hunt on Secretary Clinton and the ties to Rudy and the Trump campaign.
    This election is making me jaded. I think I will hide in my room until it is over.

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