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Trump points at Katy Tur to let her know something's happening, Katy.
Trump points at Katy Tur to let her know something’s happening, Katy.

At a Trump rally in Miami today, Donald Trump noted in his casual, well-spoken way that his crowds right now are YOOGE, which means all the polls are wrong and dang that goshdarn media for not reporting it! He especially wanted to let MSNBC’s Katy Tur, who has the AWFUL task of following the Trump campaign around US America and getting heckled by his turd-ass supporters for being a member of the lamestream Jew World Order media, know that something is happening. Something big. So during his rally, he ‘splained it to her from the stage:

… [W]e have massive crowds. There’s something happening. They’re not reporting it. KATY, YOU’RE NOT REPORTING IT, KATY. BUT THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING, KATY. THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING, KATY.

ALL OF THEM, KATY!

Good God, Trump is such a thin-skinned, tiny-handed, weak, sad, pathetic bully. We talk about it all the time, but sometimes you see something like this and it’s just like whoa.

At Trump’s command, the crowd turned around and booed and hissed and clapped and barked like angry sea lions who just heard the big sale at the Big Lots was canceled and Cracker Barrel was on fire, just like he trained them to do. Oh, to be a journalist in Donald Trump’s America!

Donald Trump does not like Katy Tur all that much, because she lies about him by reporting the news about him, like every single day. These are the things he has said on Twitter about her, as compiled in the New York Times‘s exhaustive list of all the people, places, things, farm animals and lady bodies Trump has insulted on Twitter:

katytimes

DISHONEST INCOMPETENT 3RD RATE KATY!

KATY!

A bunch of media types on Twitter got together to defend Katy Tur, using the hashtag #ImWithTur, but Wonkette wanted to make sure she had heard that THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING, KATY. So we asked her:

wonkkaty

As of press time Tur had not confirmed to us that she, in fact, knows something is happening, but she was on MSNBC just now and it appeared she had maybe vaguely heard that something was happening, so that’s good we guess.

[Media Matters]

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  • Nounverb911

    Katy Tur can beat the crap out of Donald j Dump with one hand tied behind her back.

    • starkitty

      …Hopping on one foot.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Blindfolded.

      • MamaBrown

        eating a taco

    • Khavrinen

      I’d watch that on pay-per-view…

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Nounverb911

    “Recording me saying words, then quoting me saying those same words, is lying about me.”
    –Doofus j Trump

    • starkitty

      There are legit peeps in fringe politics who think–or pretend to think–this way.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “Anyone that quotes me is a liar!”
      ~Newt Gingrich

  • Anna Rompage

    It appears Katy won’t be on next season’s The Apprentice…

    Oh wait, what am I saying, ABC, CBS, & NBC have all canceled their contracts with the the Donald….

    • Nounverb911

      There’s always Kushner Trump TV….

      • kindness

        You mean soon to be bankrupt Trump TV? When they issue stock, don’t buy any!

  • schmannity
    • FauxAntocles

      There’s a man with a rug over there
      Tellin’ me the election’s unfair

      • schmannity

        Paranoia strikes deep
        Into your life it will creep
        It starts when you’re always afraid
        You step out of line, the man come and take you away

        It’s the GOP playbook!

    • kindness

      Why do they have Jefferson Airplane pictures behind a Buffalo Springfield song?

      • Arolpin

        All them hippies look alike, amrite?

      • schmannity

        Born after 1975. Neil Young sings White Rabbit Mountain on the flip side.

  • SmokinGood
  • Indiepalin

    And you don’t know what it is, do you Mr. Trump?

    • MynameisBlarney

      He ain’t got a the foggiest…

  • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

    Something is happening? Okay, I usually expect that from the Omniscient Council of Vagueness, but they must be having transmission issues.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I hear they’re having a meeting, or something. Sometime soon.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Great. Keep me posted. Get back to me on Nov 28, at least.

  • LarryHoudini

    I heard Trump has to win either Michigan, Pennsylvania or Wisconsin including all the other swing states to get to 270.
    Is that the thing happening, Katy? Yeah, I don’t think so either.

  • memzilla

    How I want this straw-headed lump of calcified smegma to go the fuck away.

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      We all do, but when has the bloated yam ever done something someone ELSE wanted?

  • Crank Tango

    I’m gonna say what I say every time my wife gets mad at something Chump says or does:
    He’s a garbage person.

  • limberrat
  • dslindc
  • Lance Thrustwell

    Something is happening, and people are saying things. I’ve heard from many, many people about the things, so many things – and they’re all bad. And we’re going to do something about it! Something huge, and it will be beautiful, believe me.

    I can’t believe how easy it’s become to write like that.

  • What’s happening is that Katy Tur is going to publish a book about her time covering the Trump campaign and the GOP will use it as a manual for what not to do next time. She will have the moneez and the last laugh.

  • Nounverb911

    Katy, can you get Phoebe to chase down Trump like he did when he flew the helicopter chasing OJ in the slow speed chase?

    (Sorry about the gender mix-up)

  • limberrat

    Hey Donald! Fuck off FuckFaceVonClownStick!
    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/793890999420477440

    • Carpe Vagenda

      but he’s feuding with Ohio Republicans, so either he’s hurting them in downticket races or they’re hurting him at the top of the ticket.

      • Arolpin

        Why not both?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I have a screen name which will deeply puzzle martian historians when they study the unpopulated ruins of our society, and I approve this message.

      • limberrat

        I have zero clue whats going on with Ohio. I think zero ground game is going to wind up making it closer than it says it is.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Ohio and Iowa are of a kind, in that they’re very old and very white. It’s not surprising they’re Trump-friendly.

          • Thiazin Red

            When I lived there, even supposedly liberal cities like Columbus, were insanely conservative.

          • limberrat

            That is true, a lot of younger people have left Ohio. My father in law is from there and only one of his siblings stayed (he had 3 siblings). Of his brothers 4 kids, two have left the state and many of their friends left too.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’m feeling a little spark of hope because of the number of Republicans crossing lines in FL. I’m starting to wonder if their downfall is the people they didn’t know they should be trying to keep away from the polls.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    There’s something happening here, what it is ain’t exactly clear. There’s a man with a gun over there, telling me I got to beware…
    (Oops, Schmannity beat me to it, shoulda scrolled down)

  • beavertank

    Trump’s skin seems to be getting thinner and thinner, and he’s getting more and more pissy about people not saying how great he is… so what do you think will happen when he loses?

    I’m sure there will be some of his trademark “rigged” pouting, but when it becomes obvious that he’ll never be president AND that his businesses are taking massive hits because everyone realizes he’s human garbage… I sure hope they’ve got round-the-clock care lined up, to keep him safe from himself of course.

  • calliecallie

    Katy Tur and Donald Trump…it’s like Beauty and the Beast, except that at the end he loses the election and slinks back to his castle, and she gets to resume her life and be rid of him, we hope forever.

  • Suse

    You raise up your head and you ask, “Is this where it is?”
    And somebody points to you and says, “It’s his”
    And you say, “What’s mine?” and somebody else says, “Well, what is?”
    And you say, “Oh my God, am I here all alone?”
    But something is happening and you don’t know what it is
    Do you, Mr. Drumpf?

    Ballad of a Thin-skinned Man

    • Sheepshagger

      God said to Donald “kill me a son”
      Donald said “where you want this killing done?”
      God said “just outside of Saigon”
      Donald said “well god man, my bone spurs theyre just comin on”.

      • Suse

        lmao!

      • Bad Hombre Ron

        <golf clap>

  • Nounverb911
  • I think it’s these newspapers. Sam Bee pointed out that Donald seems unable to read so he may be confused by them

  • calliecallie

    One of my punctuation pet peeves is quote marks inside the comma or period. Comma goes INSIDE the quotation marks, Donald, you moran! And you want to be president? Are you fucking kidding me?

    • Blacktop Cadence

      God, yes, I’m triggered over grammar right now, and mine ain’t all that great. >.>

    • GoutMachine

      I guarantee you he puts two spaces after a period. (If he knows how to read. I heard he might not! People are saying! People on teevee!)

      • Arolpin

        You wanna go? You really wanna go? Don’t you DARE compare me to Drumpf! Two spaces after a period is the right way to do it, end of discussion! Don’t get me started on the Oxford Comma either (or the Vampire Weekend song of the same name, because they are BOTH right).

        • NastyKatie

          I have your back on the Oxford Comma!

          • Lance Thrustwell

            What is your stance on the Cambridge Semicolon? (It’s a challenging sex position.)

          • NastyKatie

            I’m going to say for the Cambridge Semicolon, my stance would be on one leg.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Which is why it’s so challenging.

          • Arolpin

            One leg on the bedpost with the toes pointed, the other on the floor with the toes curled. Is there any other?

          • geoffalnutt

            Just one, but it involves a ceiling fan.

          • kareemachan

            o.O

        • GoutMachine

          Sorry, but two spaces after a period is for geriatrics with typewriters (if that is your brand of Old, then by all means, continue!)

          http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/technology/2011/01/space_invaders.html

          • Arolpin

            I am an old(ish), I learned to type on an IBM Selectric, I spent a few years running Unix machines from the command prompt, and I like the look of two spaces. As long as Courier is a default font, your argument is silly. I also discount most of what I hear from people who discuss kerning (i.e. typographers).
            (I may not fully believe all of what I just typed.)

        • Snark Tank, Bad Hombre

          ALL THE UPFISTS!

      • puredog

        Based on his Megyn Kelly remarks (among others), I’m willing to bet he puts at least two days after a period.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’ve always hated that rule. The punctuation does not (unless by coincidence) exist in the words being quoted, so a logical placement of the punctuation would be outside the quotation marks. But that’s the convention, and we must abide by it or be branded a grammar ignoramus. Sigh.

      • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

        is there an actual rule?
        i’m always confused by this.
        and please pardon my one handed typing.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          There is – Callie is right. And I’m glad you find grammar so arousing; I wish more people did.

      • Snark Tank, Bad Hombre

        Then I’m a grammar ignoramus, since I fuck this up more than half the time. I also use two spaces after the period.

        • NastyKatie

          The British put the punctuation inside the quotation marks if it’s part of the quote, outside otherwise. So you can always say you follow the British style.

          • Snark Tank, Bad Hombre

            Yay! I’m British! (But with better teeth!)

      • Historicat

        I’m willing to be branded a grammar ignoramus on this one – you’re right, there’s no logical reason to include the punctuation inside the quote unless it is part of the quote.

  • Vecchiojohn

    What is the frequency, Katy?

    • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

      Way too often for my taste, thanks.

  • Nounverb911
    • Thiazin Red

      I’ve seen this movie before, no one go looking for any missing kids.

      • Brendan_M

        Don’t worry, Donald hasn’t inquired about Tiffany’s whereabouts in years.

        • Pisto75666

          But oddly enough, he. knows where Ivanka is at ALL TIMES.

          • Brendan_M

            He likes to keep her in grabbing distance.

          • Pisto75666

            Not to mention kissing distance (or is that just implied along with the grabbing?)

    • Ray in VT

      Gotta love Guido Fawkes day.

  • JVisconti

    Be careful Donald, Katy’s dad will meet you in the parking lot while in stilettos. Ask Ben Shapiro

  • Carpe Vagenda

    It would be nice if a bunch of media types – like the ones who work with her – got together and supported Katy by not spending the last week before the election treating the guy who’s got a target on her is the Great White Hope to keep e-mails out of the Oval Office, and spinning away Jim Crow tactics and an attempted coup by the FBI and the russian government.

    That would of course take way more finger taps.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    If Trump talked 100,000 people a day at his rallies for 200 days straight he’d talk to 20 million people, leaving him about 40 million people short of the votes he’ll need to win the election. What I’m trying to say is…
    http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMi1mYmY0MGIzNWEwNjkxZTdm.png

    • limberrat

      And since he’s only attracting at most a couple thousand and assume that some are repeats following him around…. yeah.

      • cat cafe

        And casting agents have been saying for months now that he’s also using paid actors that they’ve been supplying, so….

    • SmokinGood

      Something is happening here. You take the 100,000 people and subtract the ones who aren’t 10’s. Then you multiply by jews and carry the six. Then you add line 57 get your tax deduction. (Which is yuge, but only if you’re a “Gen-U-ine” “Billionaire.”) Now yell “Fox News” three times while looking into a mirror at midnight and you get to Banana electoral votes. TRUMP WINS.

      • BearGHAZI

        That only works if you smear congealed trans fat onto your nether regions

      • Snark Tank, Bad Hombre

        You forgot the ritual strangulation of the chicken while chanting “Radical Islamic Terrorism”!
        .
        And by “strangulation” I mean “masturbation”.

        • geoffalnutt

          That poor chicken!

          • Hasn’t it been fucked enough already?

          • Beaumarchais?

            The polite term is “cluck-holded.”

          • Serai 1

            Sure it isn’t “cuck-holded”?

          • Donnajskinner2

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ht413f:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !ht413f:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash713TopEarthGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ht413f:….,……

        • Serai 1

          Don’t forget the masturbating!

          …oh, right.

      • AJ Milne

        Re ‘Now say “Breitbart” three times while looking into a mirror at midnight…’

        See, I’m just not tryin’ this. Figure I’d wind up with a burning cross in the middle of my bathroom or somethin’. Or Dead Breitbart himself would materialize in my bathtub, rattling the chain on the drainplug, and moaning somethin’ about states rights being the true meaning of Christmas. No. Thank. You.

  • Ezio

    So I have been compiling a list of terms where I will instantly ignore someone if I see them used ad nauseam. Right now I’ve got:

    Regressive Leftist
    Cultural Marxism
    Cuck
    New World Order
    Lamestream media

    How am I doing?

  • Randy Riddle

    People are saying that something is happening.

  • GoutMachine

    The call is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE, KATY! RUN!

  • Crystalclear12
    • Blacktop Cadence

      I’ll be reading here and firing up either Deadpool or my “master” playlist on iTunes.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I know most of you guys jumped ship from The Daily Show but you should really watch the Halloween episode (it’s about what happens during the first term of Trump’s presidency).

    • Ezio

      I saw that and it was brilliant. I haven’t given up on Trevor Noah yet.

    • limberrat

      One of the few times Trevor did a really good job. Honestly, I’d watch the show with either Jordan Klepper or Hasan Minaj personally.

  • Mavenmaven

    “Something is happening, Katy, Something is happening in my pants!!!”

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    I don’t know about this Trumpf person anymore. He seems kinda unhinged.

    • Blacktop Cadence

      Yeah, I’m really considering hard on whether I want to vote for him anymore.

    • cmd

      But today he called HIllary “very unstable” in Miami.

  • Nounverb911

    So are NBC and Comcast’s lawyer’s preparing law suits yet?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • ViveLaNastyWimminz

      Texas is quickly making Florida look almost normal.

    • It’s about time they scraped the oil off Farenthold

    • Lance Thrustwell

      God, look at that double-chinned, gap-toothed moron.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Now there’s a man what could eat corn through a picket fence, I tell ya whut.

    • Snark Tank, Bad Hombre

      Unfortunately, this walking bag of sludge will probably be re-elected yet again. I really wish I understood why the Democrats in this district don’t do a better job of running against this pustule on the ass of Texas.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      No jammies?

    • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

      We elected a black guy, and the right wing could no longer conceal their racism.
      Now we’re electing a woman, and the right wing can no longer conceal their misogyny.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    But does she not know what it is?

  • Swampay

    what it is ain’t exactly clear

    • Oily Messiah

      Shitty people are coming to see Donald Trump be shitty toward people because they’re shitty

    • Sheepshagger

      There’s man with diabetes over there.

      • MynameisBlarney
        • GoutMachine

          Oh, I needed that lolz just now. Bless you.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Any time!

        • DainBramage

          I’ve never seen a kittah with a goatee before.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Not sure if Kitteh or a weee Scotsman.

          • The Bird in a Red Pantsuit

            Where’s that “Why not both” meme when you need it?

          • MynameisBlarney
          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            Had to add an LOL. Upfist wasn’t enough for that one.

        • kareemachan

          Is this Wilford’s reincarnation? Sure looks like him.

          ETA: Would snuggle.

      • Ricky Gay

        tellin me, his hoveround is a chair

    • ViveLaNastyWimminz

      Maybe Stephen Stills used Obama’s time machine in the 60s to attend a Trump rally.

      • kareemachan

        Well, it’s been stored in Area 51 since the 50’s, so….

  • TJ Barke

    Something’s happening, it’s called resurgent fascism.

  • Marceline

    I don’t scare easy but his fixation on her frightens me. Once he loses and is dealing with his rape and fraud trials, she will be a favorite target for his disgruntled followers.

    • cat cafe

      Luckily they’re mostly a bunch of effectless whiners and blowhard failures, or they’d have figured out things like finishing their high school education, getting some skills, and learning about the world, and would do something with their lives apart from wasting their days at hate rallies and silk-screening “cunt” onto T-shirts they wear around their wives and daughters.

  • NastyKatie

    I’m out of adjectives for Trump so I had to go to ye olde tymes to find one.

    He’s a boor.

    • Suse

      Also, too, a cad and a bounder.

      • Sheepshagger

        “Ambulatory sewer” always worked for me.

        • MamaBrown

          I used “animated pile of pig shit” today. Still not strong enough.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Reprobate and a caitiff stinkard.

    • cheetojeebus

      Jake leg mother fucker

    • Carpe Vagenda

      if you want to make blood shoot out his nose, call him tunnel traffic. The reason he needed Roy Cohn at clubs was that people from Queens didn’t get in.

      • NastyKatie

        Here we call them bridge and tunnel :)

    • BearGHAZI

      Total. Blackguard.

    • limberrat

      He’s a jackanape!

    • MynameisBlarney

      A Ne’er-do-well?

    • Arolpin

      An ignoramus! (Maybe Shakespeare’s greatest coinage.)

    • NastyKatie

      He is all of these things and more.
      He is the true untermensch.

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      Katie! There’s something happening Katie!

      • NastyKatie

        There aren’t a lot of Katies, so it’s not that common to hear someone call my name in that kind of setting. So when he yells “Katy blargh blargh blargh” I come to attention too like a dog that hears it’s name, and it’s like he’s talking to both of us.

        I’ve had this conversation with another Katie, and she does the same thing.

        • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

          My youngest sister is a Cady. Everyone says it “Catty” just like in Mean Girls. Something’s happening, Catty!

    • cmd

      That is a good one and quite apt.

    • Oily Messiah

      Hornswoggler

  • boyblue122

    Katy needs a couple month vacation after having to put up with this turd for 18 months

    • Nounverb911

      And a raise!

      • GoutMachine

        All of the raises, Katy.

    • TheGrandWaz00

      I’ll bet she’s got a helluva ‘behind the scenes’ book damn near completed.

    • Crystalclear12

      And drugs, lots of drugs.

    • DainBramage

      I hope she doesn’t have/get PTSD.

    • NastyKatie

      Katy needs to write a fucking book and move to the south of France on the advance.

  • Nounverb911

    We’re gonna need a bigger tranquilizer gun.

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      20mm?

  • CountryClubJihadi
  • Swampay

    Serious for a minute. This sounds to me waaaaay too much like what we heard from the Bernie Bros. “In our little bubble, everyone agrees with us and look at these huge rallies, so the polls & numbers and so-called facts have to be wrong and Clinton must have cheated or Bernie would have won.”

    • Brendan_M

      I don’t think the Bernie Bros blamed a massive, international Jewish conspiracy, though…

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        Just bankers, which according to the internet is the same thing. They’re more alike than they realize.

        • Brendan_M

          Meh. Citing a too-cozy relationship with banks and the hundreds of thousands of dollars that they gave to Clinton in exchange for secret speeches was fair game. And naming the specific banks can hardly be compared to the overt use of anti-Semitic tropes, describing a vague cabal of globalists, media elite, international bankers, shadowy, corrupt puppet masters, etc..

          The most obtuse, obnoxious, and hyperbolic of the Bernie Bros/online trolls can and should be called out for their nonsense, but comparing them to the overtly anti-Semitic Trumpkins, peddling their bigotry from the candidate himself and top advisers on down, is a bit disingenous.

          • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

            So wait, both openly believe that a larger power is rigged against them. Both believed they were up against power financiers who run the show, but one group is less scary because one calls the financiers jews?

            Both sides were heavily made up of white males. Both had no problem bringing up fringe conspiracy theories. Both have no problem calling Hillary a cunt whore.

            Wasn’t it Bernie himself claiming that Hillz was bought and paid for? I’m pretty sure he was going on about the rigged primaries.

            But one side likes kale. What a difference!

          • Brendan_M

            Relitigating the primaries and raging against online trolls, most of whom are now Russian spambots, seems like a useful thing to put your time and energy into. I’m going to work on electing Hillary Clinton, but have fun!

          • JerryRich

            I truly do not understand the concept of “secret speeches”. The fact of the speeches was well known and any attendee could write or speak about the contents or record them for news release. You or I would accept thousands for speeches but no one wants to hear us. Hillary rightly objects to a new requirement to publish these speeches that applies only to her.

          • Brendan_M

            That is fine. I don’t really care about the speeches, the transcripts of which Hillary Clinton decided to keep secret. But it is fair game to attack her on, as it was fair to attack Bernie Sanders on a lot of issues.

            Donald’s cartoonish, paranoid, and cruel-to-dogs attacks are several leaps beyond what happened in the primaries, though.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I tried to explain to a Trumpite that Trump will probably get about 40 million votes, and if he does, he could go to a filled 15,000 person stadium every day for 5 years and never see the same person twice. And that wouldn’t matter a bit if Hillary has 50 million votes.

      Unsurprisingly, it didn’t have much effect.

      • MynameisBlarney

        They probably just blinked slowly, mouth agape. Drooling.

        • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

          Like a stunned grouper.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Like a goshawk.
            Because, staring in amazement.

          • puredog

            Goshawk libelz!

      • Pisto75666

        Trumpites aren’t so good with the maths.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Rational thinking is not amongst the fortes of the Drumpfenproles.

    • limberrat

      Historically, rally turnout really means nothing when it comes to voting. I think it was Mondale who bragged about rally turnout would translate into votes and look how he did?

      • cmd

        People are saying that many who attend his rallies go from one to another, so a lot of them are the same people.

        • Oily Messiah

          Deplorable Phish

    • Swampay

      Part of my point is, this level of denial isn’t unique to Trump. I’m not saying “Bernie Bros are as shitty as Trumpkins” but “hey, look, this is something stupid that humans do. Probably a good idea to understand it and to try to avoid it in my own behavior. Try to stay fact based!”

      And to wonder – how do you get through to people in this bubble-ized political world? I like to think I’m in the fact-based bubble but SO DOES EVERY OTHER PERSON.

  • Suttree

    I used to like depravity. Thanks Trump, your ruined it all for us now.

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      Make Depravity Great Again!

    • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

      We need to recover depravity for ourselves and make it wholesome again!

  • Crystalclear12

    Something is happening we are electing the first female president.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The thing is, like it was eight years ago, her lack of a penis isn’t the decisive issue, just as eight years ago skin tone wasn’t the decisive issue. The decisive issue is that she is the only one prepared for the job. The only one who can be trusted with the launch codes, or with Michelle’s vegetable garden, or with the power to pardon turkeys.

  • Vecchiojohn
    • tihond

      Or to go furniture shopping.

    • MamaBrown

      Or to try some prized amontillado in his wine cellar.

  • tihond

    “There is something happening…” Is also what Trump keeps telling himself and Melania as he waits for his blue pill to kick in.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “IT MOVED!”

      • Big Boppa (BadHombre)

        No Melania, I wasn’t in the pool. Why do you ask?

  • ViveLaNastyWimminz

    While my husband was having cataract surgery this morning, some heroic patriot crossed out my Hillary bumper sticker with a black marker. They were too cheap to get a permanent marker so it washed right off.

    • beavertank

      That’s exactly the level of planning I expect from a Trump lover, yep.

      • tihond

        That’s the exact level of planning I’d expect in the Trump presidency.

      • Shibusa

        I’d have guessed a Crayon, but I take your point.

    • Kurn

      I’m surprised they didn’t smash your windows

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Some heroic patriot’s deplorable child told my daughter that Hillary killed the jews last week. A 4th grader, by the way. A 4TH GRADER!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I was behind a minivan today in traffic. The back end was crushed and the back two windows were covered with duct tape and cardboard. Brand new MAGA sticker on it though.

    • Thanks for sharing. I laughed at that. And, now I’m crying because I feel so cared about. Sharing is caring. It is. That really made my day. Maybe I’m taking all of this election stuff too seriously. I might need a break soon.

  • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

    No, the lamestream media is not reporting it. They’re merely BROADCASTING your mindnumbingly stupid speeches as free advertising for you, you bufoonish shitgibbon.

    • Pisto75666

      One thing I’ve discovered this election cycle: my love for the word “shitgibbon”.

  • Callyson

    KATY, YOU’RE NOT REPORTING IT, KATY. BUT THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING, KATY. THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING, KATY.

    Yes, and that something is that the American people are hearing from America’s Next Whiner…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53743e4e8afdeed2ce35bc8490065afcdef153f2955b6bec3bfd8daae3b77336.jpg

  • GoutMachine

    Seems to me, if you’re a journalist and your name is Katy (or some version thereof), then you’d better watch out. You’re getting assigned the dregs of the political class.

  • Biff52

    I’ve been disgusted with trump since before the beginning, but there’s something about the cadence of his speech that is really getting on my nerves lately.

    • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

      I libterally can not stand to hear him talk. I’ve probably listened to maybe one video clip of him in the last 3 months.

  • JMP

    There’s something happening here; what it is ain’t exactly clear.

    • Rick Hill

      There’s a man, with a gun over there, telling me…I got to beware…

      • Edita Espinosa (Edith Prickly)

        Stop! children, what’s that sound?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Everybody look what’s going down!

          • H0mer0

            [high pitched DING]

        • Rick Hill

          Stop, trump! What’s that sound/ His whole world is tumbling down…

          Ok, not being one of great ego…ability but not ego….This right here would be a great chant for a Clinton rally. Amirite?

    • proudgrampa

      People! Let’s just listen to the song…

      https://youtu.be/gp5JCrSXkJY

    • Come here a minute

      FWIW, Donald Trump can just fuck right off.

  • Arse Grammatica

    Of course he goes after her. She is small and female. A “little girl”. Perfect bully target.

    What he should know by know but doesn’t because idiot is that she is far tougher than he dreams possible and his shit just makes her stronger.

    Still I am concerned whether she makes it though this intact.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      She’s also a very pretty girl who isn’t trying to get his approval and she asks questions he can’t answer. She’s a threat to every rotting stanchion his ego is propped up on.

      • MamaBrown

        And she used to date Keith Olbermann, who is no fan of the tiny fingered cheeto man baby. And what is a woman but a reflection of the men in her life?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that he bragged about macking on Candice Bergen at UofP. What on earth did he possibly think he had to offer her?

          • H0mer0

            KO macked on Murphy Brown?
            Also too, didn’t KO and Laura Ingraham once date?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Laura Ingraham has apparently got that crazy chicks are hot thing going for her with some Democratic men. She went with Bob Torricelli (D-NJ) for a while too. Hell, Andrew Stein, a very liberal local politician, dated Ann Coulter for a while.

        • efoveks

          I just told that to Mr. efoveks, and boy howdy is he embarrassed. XD

          • MynameisBlarney

            Guess who’s sleepin on the couch toniiiiight!

    • MynameisBlarney

      I think she’s tough and will be stronger for it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      In just six days, Donny is going to be beat up by a girl, not pretend-beat-up like in the three debates, but for REALS, for all the marbles, and that sticks in his craw so bad he needs a crow bar to treat it.

      • Rick Hill

        And,this, is what’s happening, Katy. trump is LOSING and the rest of the gop are doing what they inferred Obama was doing to Hillary…they are deserting and getting clear of the disaster.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        And the Breitbart polls will still say he won.

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    God if this was Jenny she probably would have flipped him the bird Beyonce style.

    • rosenbomb

      BOY BYE

  • timpundit

    Can’t wait for her book to come out.

    • MamaBrown

      I will stand in line barefoot on Legos to get her book the instant it hits the stores. I will pay full price for it, too. She deserves every goddamn nickel

    • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

      MSNBC would be smart to give her a politically-themed show, if she can stand to hear the word politics after this dumpster fire.

      • Suse

        Dump Cluck Toad and give her Meet the Press.

        • H0mer0

          [otherwise known as “Press the Meat” ]

  • Knowing that this many of my fellow Americans are this stupid, ugly, brutish, and deplorable does not inspire me with confidence and hope for the future.

    I had always hoped that our future would look more like Star Trek than Mad Max, but now I’m starting to think it’ll be more like the love child of Mad Max and Idiocracy.

    • Crystalclear12

      Yep

    • cmd

      And that movie my teen son dragged me to a few years ago, with the prisoners who raced to the death in cars. Death Race?

      • MynameisBlarney

        The original is far, FAR better.
        Because, cheese.

        • Because David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone and and and Roger Corman. That’s why it was great.

        • H0mer0

          Death Race “Le Royale”?

          • MynameisBlarney

            What you have done there, I have seen it.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I’m afraid we have to go through the Mad Max to get to the Star Trek. We are living in interesting times.

  • Rick Hill

    Feeding all arms of his conspiracy minded supporters: “There’s something happening!” Could mean:
    -rigged election
    -fighting you people to take back our country
    -an actual movement(much different than sedition, you see)
    -people are readying themselves for armed insurrection

    I’m sure there are more in there but they understand what donald is saying to them……

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      Also for consideration:

      His bowels are finally moving after last night’s Mcdonalds.

      • Rick Hill

        That’s the second Eeeewww this month. One more and it’ to your room, young lady.

  • Joe Beese

    Something is happening but you don’t know what it is, do you, Mrs. Tur?

  • limberrat

    Well something IS happening in NC:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwUdDPCJPNA

    • Swampgas_Man

      But, but– the NYTimes wrote this morning that “African-Americans are apathetic because Obama isn’t involved.”

  • Ezio

    It’s like everything he says is ambiguous enough to sound like it might be true but also lacks the eloquence and detail so that you can dismiss it as nonsense.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      People are saying

  • Edita Espinosa (Edith Prickly)

    Anyone asked Megyn Kelly what she thinks?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      She’s busy picturing Donald in a smoking jacket, as per her “hard-hitting” interview.

      • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

        I wouldn’t mind seeing him in a smoking jacket. As long as nobody puts out the fire.

        • H0mer0

          [with votes!]

    • Nounverb911

      “Fox wants to pay me $20m a year, I don’t care anymore.”
      –Megyn Kelly

    • NastySnarkOff

      Does Megyn Kelly think?

  • NastySnarkOff

    FWIW, there’s a saying among journalists that if the people or companies you cover like you, then you are doing something wrong.

  • Nounverb911

    And then again this seems to be happening.
    https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/793901099715530752

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah, but EMAILS!

    • Rick Hill

      I hope this does not cause the FBI to leak some more information….

      • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

        That’s not what Comey’s leaking. He should change his undies.

    • BadKitty904

      Ha! Beat me to it, NV!

    • proudgrampa

      Holy shit…

    • TheGrandWaz00

      …newsrooms are figuring out what to do.

      Repeat it every 3 minutes like it’s E-MAILS!

    • Yr. Gma

      Figuring out what to do? Oh, I don’t know. Report it maybe? But did it involve any email?

      • GoutMachine

        Everybody knows crime can only happen via email.

        • Yr. Gma

          On Hillary’s server.

          • H0mer0

            wow, new premise for a “CLUE” game! I would say it’s for Donna Rose’s college fund, Hillz gonna make it “affordable.”

            [nb: my ex was a patent examiner at the USPTO and his “art” was board games and tennis rackets, so my idea for a medical intern game based on “Mille Bornes” was dashed since there was something similar already in the “shoes” (the files where the previous patents were kept before they put them on computer)

        • Oily Messiah

          That’s not true, it also can happen in “inner city” neighborhoods or anywhere illegal immigrants and muslims can be found

  • MynameisBlarney

    He said it so many times, it’s almost like he’s setting her up for a “Pull my finger joke”.

    • Nounverb911

      That’s not what Trump wants you to pull.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Well…when one takes into account the diminutive size of his phalanges, one could reasonably assume that a certain other “appendage” might be too minuscule for one to properly grasp.

        • efoveks

          Tweezers my friend. Tweezers.

        • puredog

          This filthy canard has been DEBUNKED.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I mentioned NOTHING about water foul!

          • H0mer0

            [why chickens and ducks shouldn’t play beisbol]

          • MynameisBlarney

            Viaduct? Vhy not chicken?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Soounds like Katy has a secret admirer.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Something’s happening, alright, Sniffles – press conference with the accuser at 6PM EST.

    Donald Trump Is Accused of Raping a 13-Year-Old. Why Haven’t the Media Covered It?
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-rape-case_us_581a31a5e4b0c43e6c1d9834

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I think the story is going to be how many of his noisiest apologists are OK with it if true.

      • Crank Tango

        You should have seen how that 13 year old girl was dressed tho.

        • anon_the_great

          Just like Ivanka…

        • Carpe Vagenda

          maybe too soon?

      • BadKitty904

        Given the GOP’s record on women’s rights, yah, I’d say that’s a pretty safe bet. “That 13-yr-old was just begging for it…” and of that toxic ilk.

    • boyblue123

      Is anyone going to cover the press conference

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      He’ll plead that it was only because of the cocaine.

      • BadKitty904

        Ask Hannity! Just ask Hannity!!!

  • Crank Tango

    Something’s happening here, what it is ain’t exactly clear.

  • SullivanSt

    But you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr Trump?

  • Nounverb911
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Johnny Damon. Dumbshit.

    • Oily Messiah

      What’s with all these baseball players Schilling for Trump?

      • limberrat

        Must be the steroids.

        • Oily Messiah

          Probably, steroids and ball shrinkage explain a lot

      • Villago Delenda Est

        They’re idiots when they’re off the diamond. It’s that fucking simple. They should know better than to get involved with the guy who is going to lose to a girl.

        • Suse

          Many of them are Jebus Jumpers, too.

      • Anna Rompage

        It’s not all that uncommon for pro athletes to be domestic abusers, both at home, and out in public…

      • JoeChristmas

        Pete Rose is betting big Trump will win.

        • Jen B_VA

          noooo not Charlie hustle!!!
          Goddamn it.

        • Arolpin

          Fuck Pete Rose with a broken bat of votes. I grew up watching Charlie Hustle, and gave him a pass playing well beyond when he should have retired to break Ty Cobb’s career hits record. I was willing to give him a pass on his gambling, because I honestly believed that such a fierce competitor would never bet against his own team. All he had to do was shut up and apologize. He couldn’t do that, and now he sets up his fucking autograph signing booth in Cooperstown during HOF Induction weekend, and talks about how unfair it is, and refuses to acknowledge WHY he might be persona non grata (unless you pay him to sign a baseball and write ‘I bet on baseball’ on the fucking ball).
          His hair is a fucking joke, his ‘insight’ is about as deep as Paris Hilton talking about macro-economics, and his voice is grating. I would rather listen to Joe Buck non-stop for the rest of my life than 1 pregame segment with Pete Rose. I hope Fox Sports implodes to a point that they are lucky to cover PeeWee football for subjecting me to this shit. I don’t even mind ARod, because at least he may have something to say about the game and the players, plus he finally listened to his handlers and fucking stopped whining.

      • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

        I’m assuming concussions. Which I guess would mean too many bar fights.

        • Oily Messiah

          Probably, I don’t mean to be Curt about it though. Concussions in pro sports is srs bznss

      • cmd

        I like to watch baseball but now that I think of it, the guys on our college baseball team were pretty much jerks. I can see many of them being for Trump.

      • They’re striking out elsewhere, and catching what coverage they can now that they’re counting down to the election.

        • Oily Messiah

          They’re all just mad the Cubs are in the world series

      • Anna Rompage

        oh, oH, OH, I know, they’re all vying for future sports announcer spots on Trump’s new TV network….

        Or could it be that there are a lots a privileged white jocks who play baseball?

      • Arolpin

        Well, it’s largely white guys born in the US, who would probably be working in the trades if not for baseball. They pretty much match his core demographic. (Baseball is now largely whites born in the US and blacks/Hispanics born elsewhere. Not many African-Americans, is going to lead to larger demographic problems for MLB in the future.)

        O/T: Why do so few multi-sport athletes choose baseball, especially over football? Higher average salary in baseball, higher league minimum salary, much longer careers, much better union, much less likely to end up crippled by 40, and significantly fewer concussion issues. I guess the idea of spending a couple years in the minors vs.a rookie contract in the NFL seems too much like work.

        • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

          Yeah, that’s part of it – the odds of making it are pretty long, the money (especially at the low-levels of the minors) is pretty paltry, and even with the salary cap the paydays in the NFL are pretty big if you’re great. But between the RBI program and the NFL’s current woes (both in terms of quality of play and ratings), we may start to see a shift back.

          • Oily Messiah

            True, while the average MLB salary is like 4 million with a league min of 500k, AAA players start at 2700 per month and AA players get 1700 a month.

            From one of my Law School professors,

            “The lawsuit portrays minor league players as members of the working poor, and that’s backed up by data. Most earn between $3,000 and $7,500 for a five-month season. As a point of comparison, fast food workers typically earn between $15,000 and $18,000 a year, or about two or three times what minor league players make. Some minor leaguers, particularly those with families, hold other jobs during the offseason and occasionally during the season. While the minimum salary in Major League Baseball is $500,000, many minor league players earn less than the federal poverty level, which is $11,490 for a single person and $23,550 for a family of four….

            The three players suing baseball also stress that minor league salaries have effectively declined in recent decades. According to the complaint, while big league salaries have risen by more than 2,000 percent since 1976, minor league salaries have increased by just 75 percent during that time. When taking into account inflation, minor leaguers actually earn less than they did in 1976.”

          • efoveks

            We have a AA team here in Stockton. I don’t know what their salaries are like now, but my friend was married to a player about 20 years ago when they were owned by the Milwaukee Brewers org. They were lucky if they were paid anything. Most of the time, paychecks were “on their way” but never seemed to make it, or when they did, at greatly reduced sums. Since many of the players were dependent on the team for work visas (and either did not understand their union representation or maybe weren’t?), few voiced complaint to management. Sad.

          • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

            Yeah, anything below AA is real tough (and even some AA clubs are in places a lot of players really hate – I heard a lot of players who made it to AAA Reno complaining about how AA Mobile sucked). A lot of the really low minors rely on families to “host” players rather than get apartments or short-term housing for them, and the long bus rides really do wear teams down (Bull Durham at least got a good portion of that right).

        • efoveks

          A lot of those browns in baseball who, under a Trump administration, would probably be deported, thereby allowing more racist, ball-grabbing white dumbfucks to play baseball for way too much money and then blame their union).

          • Arolpin

            Great, we can go back to the high-quality baseball during the early 40s where all the talent was off in Europe and you had an outfielder with one arm. Fucking lovely.

          • Jen B_VA

            Woman’s League LIBULZ!!!!!

          • Arolpin

            Didn’t they make a movie about this, with some loud woman who was about half the size of Bartolo Colon and not a 10? Only men should be rewarded for being athletic and not super fit.

          • efoveks

            Too bad the ticket prices can’t go back to the 1940’s. That would be the part that (I think) most people would support. :)

        • Berkeleybear94

          Well, there are a couple of things at work here. There are a lot fewer true multi-sport athletes – by the time you get to high school good athletes are pushed to pick one. There are a lot more high quality football and basketball programs than baseball in most urban environments so that skews the results (baseball is basically a suburban/country sport in the US). There are also a lot fewer college scholarships in baseball than in football (85 per D1 FBS school, 60 or so at FCS for football, 15 at each D1 school in basketball, maybe 10 at most schools with baseball and fewer programs overall) so if you have any desire to further your education those sports have a clearer path. Heck, the best baseball players skip college or only play intentionally for 3 years, and outside of a handful of “can’t miss” prospects drafted in the first round and signed for big bonuses, they get don’t get paid unless/until they make the big leagues (as documented elsewhere in this thread). Add to that the fact kids go with the sports whose stars they emulate/relate to rather than making a rational economic decisions, so it becomes a self-reinforcing selection.

          • Arolpin

            I think you touched on most of the issues. The lack of college scholarships, especially for ‘sports’ schools, which are often large, state colleges probably has quite a bit to do with it. Every few years some sportswriter decries how football makes colleges run their minor league system (they used to say the same about basketball, but with so few Pro-level players staying more than a year or two, it’s kind of moot) while baseball has to run their own farm system.
            The one thing that I would think would push more towards baseball is that even minor-league players often get signing bonuses that are worth several years of minor league pay, and in some cases are similar to rookie free-agent money in football.

    • Arolpin

      I’m not sure that anyone ever hired Johnny Damon for his intellectual capabilities. Did he at least grow his beard back so he fits in with the Deplorables and sibling-fuckers?

      • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

        We prefer the term infrageneticallyamorous.

      • georgiaburning

        Yes, the guy who left Oakland to play with the Red Sox, his beloved team of childhood. Then signed with their arch-rivals, the Yankees for more money in 2006 after saying he would never do something like that. He and Trump deserve each other. Hope he’s counting on Donald’s check.

        • JerryRich

          Damon helped my Yanks win the Series in 2009, so I will ignore his current degradation.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Well, at least we’ll always have Big Papi.

    • boyblue123

      Johnny Damon always struggled mightily when he gave an interview. For him, getting just a couple words out seemed tough

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      I’m amazed that the best Trump can do for front-line surrogates are washed-up hacks, has-beens and suck-ups. And that’s just the politicians

  • Anna Rompage

    Just a friendly public service announcement, today is the state suggested deadline for you to mail your multiple completed ballots in, in the State of Oregon…

    If you miss getting it in the mail today, have no despair my dear, there should be a local drop box in your community where you can drop your ballot off

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There are numerous places in Tracktown with boxes you can drop your ballot off at. Lane County Elections is at 10th and Lincoln.

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      Multiple completed ballots? Do they all have to be for Hillary?

      • Anna Rompage

        I sent in 8 for Hillary, and one for Stein, just to fuck with Gary Johnson…

        • Blacktop Cadence

          I mailed mine yesterday. I hope they don’t get lost in the mail from Illinois.

          • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

            Yeah. Deads’ votes shamble through the mail, mucking everything up.

          • Gentle Robot

            Hey Zombies are really popular right now, I doubt anyone will mind

          • Anna Rompage

            I’m starting to think zombies might have more brains than conservatives do…

          • efoveks

            You are what you eat!

      • Gentle Robot

        Yeah they’re pre-voted

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        I hope not. I wrote in John McCain on three of them!

        • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

          The commissars at HQ will fix that straight up.

    • efoveks

      That reminds me– did you remember to change your vote in one of the 6 states that allow such things?? Not surprisingly, one of them is Mississippi, where you can send in up to 3 ballots!

    • Courser

      Colorado Peeps! It’s to late to mail your ballot now. Take it to a drop box in your neighborhood. Look at the back of your ballot envelope – it tells how to send a text to get your closest ballot box! How handy!

  • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

    MSNBC needs to give this poor reporter a looook vacation in at 5 star hotel after she survives this assignment. Maybe some counseling too.

    • Suse

      Certainly not a Drumpf motel.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Post trauma therapy is in order. Some R & R on a beach, with guys bringing her mai-tais and shrimp and crab and lobster would be good.

  • The Bird in a Red Pantsuit

    Something is happening. Yes, America’s racist underbelly is exposing itself. That’s what’s happening.

    • Vecchiojohn

      The dog whistle has turned to a hog hollerin’ contest.

      • efoveks

        SUUUUIII(NG)!!!!

    • Serai 1

      America’s racist underbelly has been exposed for eight years. It’s America’s SEXIST underbelly that will be exposed now.

  • Gentle Robot

    Trump thinks Katy Tur is his fucking secretary
    UGH

  • Michael Smith

    Something is happening here, but you don’t know what it is
    Do you
    Mr. Trump

  • CripesAmighty

    And in the other universe, Barry stops into my neck of the woods to rally the troops with eloquence, good humor and wit while cheerful folks cheer. 6th day in a row on the road–stand-up guy.

    • Suse

      Bamz has the bestest stamina!

  • Swampgas_Man

    But you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones?

  • Anna Rompage

    At least Donald didn’t try to grab her by the who-ha,
    Yet…..

  • Yr. Gma

    Cracker Barrel burned down?!!!!!

    • Oily Messiah

      Lard fire. Only the green beans survived

    • Melinda Piette

      DW, there’s still Chik-Fil-A (or however they spell their grease hole)

  • Nounverb911
  • Jen B_VA

    I am wondering, was the crowd huge?

    • efoveks

      Like Meghan Kelly’s bleeding whatever it was!

    • Objectifer

      Bigly yougee

  • Melinda Piette

    The weird thing is, Katy’s generally pretty impartial and professional in her reporting

    • Oily Messiah

      Which falls far below Trump’s standards of journalism, which is constantly fellating him. FUCKIN CALL SEAN HANNITY

      • Melinda Piette

        Mark Halperin libel!!!!

  • Serai 1

    Damn, Keith is ON FIRE.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT90j5-1rXY

    Thank the gods somebody has the stones to say it OUT LOUD.

    Oh, and the word in that title that starts with “H”? IT AIN’T “HORROR” THAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT.

  • timpundit

    Here’s what’s Happening, Shitgibbon….

    A woman who says Donald Trump raped her as a 13-year-old in the 1990s is planning a press conference at 6 pm ET today.

    Huffington Post: “For months, people have wondered why this case isn’t getting more ― or, really, any ― attention in the press, even now that Trump faces an actual court date: a Dec. 16 status conference with the judge.”

    • fawkedifiknow

      I wonder if all the professional assholes in the Republican Party will be happy the Supreme Court ruled that civil law suits can proceed against sitting Presidents, in the event fuckface gets elected.

      On second thought, I don’t wonder. Not at all.

    • Serai 1

      I wonder how all those wingnut that scream OMG PEDOPHILE whenever any priest or Hollywood insider gets accused (<— operative word, people) of child rape will react when it's THEIR guy up on the block for it. I guess we'll find out how much children's lives REALLY mean to them, eh?

      • Oily Messiah

        It comes from the old school fuck catholics part of the country

        • Serai 1

          That doesn’t answer why they have the same jump-the-gun reaction when it happens to others.

          • Oily Messiah

            anti-intellectualism for Hollywood, but look how much love Druggar got

  • Objectifer

    Well, you walk into the room
    Like a camel and then you frown
    You put your eyes in your pocket
    And your nose on the ground
    There ought to be a law
    Against you coming around
    You should be made
    To wear earphones

  • Apple Scruff

    Katy wrote a piece in Marie Claire about her time traveling around with the Trump campaign: http://www.marieclaire.com/politics/a21997/donald-trump-katy-tur/

    I really think these poor reporters are going to be targeted by Trumpkins post election day. I’d get them all armed guards.

    • vivian

      She can time travel?

      • Apple Scruff

        I KNOW I KNOW. Her time… traveling. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!

      • Maybe she can go back and convince Trump to go to art school.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          two coats!

        • Anna Rompage

          Nah, he’d likely be all grabby with the nude models and female students…

        • Oily Messiah

          And when your in Art class, they want to you do draw… and they put, they put, all these naked women and men around you. And I was in there, doing my drawing, and I can’t even keep my attention on my work because this one model, she’s smoking. As much a piece of ass as my daughter. The others, plump, fat pigs, disgusting, dudes, and hey I’m very, very straight. No-one is more straight than me. I walk over to this model, of course, she’s very into me, probably has seen my seminal painting “Daddy’s Rally.” And I come up to her and just start groping her breasts with my hands, when you’re an art student, you can get away with that.

    • Jen B_VA

      they are being targeted now.

      • Apple Scruff

        It’s gonna get worse. Gosh, I heard one story the other day about these Trump assholes targeting a reporter and making threats to his little 5 year old daughter. And of course, Kurt Eichenwald has really had a lot of shit to deal with– http://www.newsweek.com/epileptogenic-pepe-video-507417

        • Jen B_VA

          We need to steal pepe from them. Just to do it. That should be something we do and then troll them endlessly about it.

          • Oily Messiah

            Easy Meme. First picture is a screengrab of the election results showing a Clinton victory, the second is classic pepe saying “Feels good, Femme” Even though its not a classic saying, changing man to something feminine or even better feminist = better trolling of Alt-right SJWs. Spread it in their safe spaces (4chan/reddit) and lulz are had by all (except the altright who need to get some preparation H)

        • Shibusa

          Honestly, the Shibusas chose not to put up a Hillary sign because our neighbor is such a rabid Trump fan (and he’s sure HRC is coming for his guns if she becomes POTUS…)

          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            they’ll be bummed out when trump loses.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Wait…what..
      You’ve been watching the Flash too, eh?

  • vivian

    What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Mr. Comey? There’s an underage victim of an (alleged) predator who’d like to have a word.

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/793876828029059072

    • Vincent Ricola

      Wow. This poor girl. Fuck Comey and his fucking FBI playing politics game.

    • Yr. Gma

      Good for her. God he’s an asshole.

    • ltmcdies

      well thanks to this election this young lady and Americans general have discovered the FBI’s job is to save the asses of down ballot Republicans when they nominate an temperamental idiot for president

    • Chyron HR

      Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head, missy. The FBI has just sent an emergency report to the New York Times announcing that it’s all Clinton’s fault.

  • Joe Beese

    More encouraging poll wankery…

    The “Gold Standard” Marquette Law poll of WI has Clinton +6. Josh Marshall explains the signif:

    If Trump wins Iowa, Ohio, North Carolina, Florida and Nevada – basically runs the swing state table, he’s still short of 270 votes. Why? Because of Virginia and New Hampshire. The key here is that even if he runs the table he needs to win at least one blue state. We haven’t had a lot of quality polls of late in states like Colorado and Wisconsin. So while there was no reason to think that Blue Wall was buckling, we didn’t totally know. A six point lead in Wisconsin makes it pretty clear that Clinton is an overwhelming favorite in the state and it suggests more broadly that the tightening has not affected the Blue Wall.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/the-most-important-poll-of-the-week

    And from the oppositon:

    Trump leads among men, but not as lopsidedly as Clinton leads among women. The white college grads who normally go Republican are instead going Democratic this year, which is crippling Trump’s ability to consolidate his party. And although no one trusts Crooked Hillary, her huge advantage on basic qualifications for the job is probably going to mean doom for Trump. Despite everything that’s happened over the past few weeks, her lead in Wisconsin is nearly identical to what it was the last time Marquette Law polled the state in mid-October. Then she led by seven. Now it’s six, right in line with her average lead there — and Trump still hasn’t led a single survey of WI by any pollster all year. If you were hoping that Wisconsin will be the fourth ace in the four-of-a-kind hand Trump’s trying to build to win the presidency, it might be time to give up and look elsewhere.

    http://hotair.com/archives/2016/11/02/disappointment-new-poll-wisconsin-clinton-still-leading-six/

  • Yr. Gma
    • Serai 1

      Timely song, indeed.

  • Courser

    My very first thought was that Trump then drops trou and takes a HUGE shit on the stage as the crowd goes wild…

    • Oily Messiah

      I think that’s an accurate description of a Trump Rally, but the shit spews from a different hole

    • Shibusa

      Anybody remember GG Allin?

      • Arolpin

        You mean the pussy who was too much of a pussy to do what he promised and commit suicide by blowing himself up on stage? Never heard of him. At least he was less toxic and vile and Drumpf.

  • Joshua Norton

    A Trump America would just be one great big Kansas.

    • Oily Messiah

      And the GOP would still insist on the validity of supply side economics

  • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

    “THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING”

    Technically, a rally is something so Trump is right for a change. Of course, something is always happening so not a lot of credit, but credit where it’s due.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    OT: Had a physical so I can drive our local ambulance and fire trucks. Good News: I am cleared to drive. Bad News: I am going to live ’til Tuesday. AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Joshua Norton

    If there are any time travelers reading this, please come pick me up. I really don’t want to be here any more.

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      I’m starting to think this a fixed moment in time, and altering it would cause all of that wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff to collapse.

    • vivian

      Oh! I am! I flew from Tokyo to New York and arrived 20 minutes before I left. Granted it took me 11 hours and 40 minutes to do it, but still, I went back in time! It was shitty! Plus, JFK is a mess. Gross. Narita is wonderful. So I think that means things are better in the future?

      • Suse

        A friend of mine and her 80 year old dad just left for Kyoto from SFO a couple of days ago. They’re having lots of fun.

        • Shibusa
          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            I don’t know what it is about this pic, but it looks like it’s of a miniature. Like I’m watching Team America or something.

          • Shibusa

            The original temple dated back to the 1300s. A crazy man burned it down in the 1950s. This is the rebuilt version. It does look a little unreal in this photo.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            Burned down a 600 year old temple? Did they lock him away forever and forever? That’s terrible.

          • Jukesgrrl

            One of the best places I’ve ever been. Thanks for the lovely reminder.

        • Serai 1

          OMG JELUS. I’ve always wanted to go to Japan.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      If they pick you up, could you make it not now anymore for me too?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Trump supporting mouthbreather would like to apologize to Evan McMullin for calling him a closet homosexual in robocalls. He’s just upset McMullin’s not making white babies for rahowa.

    https://twitter.com/allegrakirkland/status/793894117210284033

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      And I believe his apology about as much as I believed Trump’s. As in “not one damn bit”.

      • Shibusa

        perfidious? excoriated? malady?
        No way William Johnson wrote that “heartfelt apology”.

        • The Wanderer

          Are you insinuating that he does not “have the best words?”

    • MamaBrown

      and Jesus forgives him so fuck you also too.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Oh well, if he was just doing it to save the Western Civilization’s white baby making and he’s really, really sorry, then I guess we should forgive him.

      Just kidding, fuck him sideways

      • Oily Messiah

        We can forgive him, and still be like naw, fuck you sideways

      • The Wanderer

        For me, forgiveness requires some measure of forgetfulness. So fuck this guy sideways.

      • Edita Espinosa (Edith Prickly)

        Western civilization is suffering from a lack of inbred Caucasian babbies?

    • Jen B_VA

      Gee whizz I am sorry people thought it was bad but dang we need to out breed the browns!
      *translated

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      “Just as Donald Trump has issued a heart-felt apology for his past locker room talk, I too issue a heartfelt apology for this robocall.”

      … am I crazy or was that a bit of passive aggression?

      • Jen B_VA

        I think it was more apron hiding. Trump got away with it by saying sorry so can I!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, he’s just an ignorant racist piece of filth. He’s not a perv.

    • Suse

      “Sorry if any of you faggots were offended…”

      • The Wanderer

        He’s the kind of guy who ends up taking 3rd place at the bathhouse’s Princess Margaret Lookalike Contest.

    • Y’know, at this point maybe “Western Civilization” is best relegated to the ash heap of history…

      • The Wanderer

        Well, there are some bits that should be saved.

        • CripesAmighty

          Like what? Velveeta, Wayne Newton and the Lincoln Mk V? Crank up the disposall.

          • The Wanderer

            Like the Mona Lisa, the airplane, internet porn .. . .

          • CripesAmighty

            Mona Lisa and porn, maybe. The flying sardine cans can go.

  • Suse
    • Look Closer

      Good Lord. They have literally lost their minds!

      • Suse

        I am seriously afraid people are going to be shot and killed on the 8th and in the aftermath.

        • Serai 1

          I wouldn’t be surprised if we had one right at a polling place. These fucking people are lunatics.

          • Suse

            That’s why I decided not to be a poll worker, honestly.

          • Serai 1

            *nods* I’d like to, but no. Even here in CA, even here in La-la-land, there are still crazies. You never know.

            Damn, they really are out to kill democracy, aren’t they? Some people just aren’t comfortable unless they’re under someone’s thumb.

          • Suse

            I’m in CA, too, in a pretty safe community, but my county has several heavily black cities like Oakland and Berkeley. I’m really expecting something bad to happen. I hope I’m wrong.

          • Serai 1

            You up in Alameda County? Man, I miss Northern CA. Lived in Santa Cruz for a few years, and thought about heading up to Berkeley when I left. I wish I had. Things might have turned out better for me. *SIGH*

          • Dee Animal-Andee

            That is the conservative mind in a nutshell.

      • Serai 1

        Remember how people FREAKED THE FUCK OUT many moons ago when razor blades were supposedly found in Halloween apples? (They never were, it was a stupid myth.) How come we’re not seeing a national outrage about this?

        • Suttree

          If someone decided to give me a bag of apples I would take them. I watched Firefly, I can avoid the apple bombs!

          • Serai 1

            I’ve always wondered just HOW one would go about hiding a razor blade in an apple. Never made sense to me.

          • Suttree

            Apparently people have not taught their children to look at what they are eating? There would be an obvious break in the skin of the apple. Hey kid! Don’t eat fucked up looking apples! Some (a lot) parents are weird.

          • Serai 1

            Well, those myths were running around back in the 70’s, and nobody ever thought they’d HAVE to look at an apple to check for shit like that. That’s why it had such a huge impact – it kinda broke everybody’s idea of what being a community even is. (Goes to show Goebbels was right – repeat a lie often enough and it becomes true.)

          • Suttree

            I was a child in the 80’s and remember the Tylenol scare. That far outweighed any risks of a damn razor blade in an apple, but I was warned away from apples. Mind you, I was trick-or-treating in a white ass burb. It was rather snooty, but my mother thought that apples on Halloween were satan.

          • Serai 1

            The Tylenol scare was just the 80’s version of the apple scare. Believe me, the apple thing PARALYZED the nation with terror. Why do you think Trick or Treating mostly went away in the first place? Because of the fucking apple scare! A really sweet tradition tanked for fear of a fucking story that never happened. Thanks, Obama!

          • Suttree

            You are correct.

    • Serai 1

      Fuck inspecting the signs. Dust them for fingerprints!

      Damn, I’m really worried there’s going to be serious violence after the 8th. Like, MURDER violence.

      • Suse

        I just said that below. This is scaring the hell out of me, which I guess is the goal.

        • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom
          • Serai 1

            LOL. Yeah, the way they “fought” after Obama was elected.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            Can I just say how awesome it is to see two kitty avatars talking…yeah it’s a little confusing, but it makes me thinks my house cats really are having conversations I can’t hear.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/73c06b067b1fc9e2a9958a69591c933d5da4e408f799026801481c19ac0e5961.png

          • Suse

            ;-)

          • Serai 1

            Meow? Rar meowrr rawar. *rrrrrrrr*

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            Baby kitten does a thing when she sees me for the first time every day. She spots me, comes running and does this chattering thing. I’m convinced if I could record it and crank up the volume she’d be telling me about all her early morning adventures. She’s not particularly vocal (unless she’s getting medication or at the vet), but she does that chattering and high pitched meow every day, but only once a day.

          • Serai 1

            That is so cute, I can’t even. :)

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            Do you watch the Simon’s cat videos? Her meow is exactly like that.

          • Serai 1

            I adore Simon’s Cat. What a great series.

            Have you watched Henri le Chat? C’est magnifique!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34z5dCmC4M

            That’s my favorite, but he’s got a lot more.

          • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

            This is awesome! Thanks for the rec.

          • Serai 1

            You’re welcome! Everyone needs a little French ennui and despondency!

          • Suse

            What if Hillz was a blah woman? OMG!

          • Serai 1

            Can you imagine how they’d freak? The thought is enough to make me wish Michelle wanted to run, JUST TO SEE THEM CRY.

          • Suttree

            Yup, “their” country is being stolen from them. As a white man, I approve this message. I would also vote for Michelle 1,000 times.

          • Serai 1

            Michelle should be crowed Unoffficial Queen of Everything.

          • Suttree

            I would let her make me eat salad everyday of the week.

          • Serai 1

            If she came to my house and yelled at me about my diet, I’D BE IN HEAVEN OMG.

        • Serai 1

          I’m optimistic enough to say it wouldn’t surprise me if all the OMG WE GUN KILL U outrage just fizzled off and died as soon as Hillary got elected. These guys are lunatics, but they’re also pussies. Someone who hides razor blades is not someone with the balls to actually confront anybody.

          But not optimistic enough to believe it’ll happen for sure. *sigh*

          • Berkeleybear94

            There was a rash of violence, though, and more than few idjits convinced they’d start the revolution if they just shot an authority figure. While it didn’t have the desired short term goal, I really don’t want anyone to have to lose a family member over it.

            Of course the GOP’s response as always (when white people lose their minds at least) was to say they were isolated tragedies and shit all over Napolitano and DHS for suggesting troops coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan might be in danger of being radicalized by militias. Cue this month’s Mother Jones cover story about militias on the border and the psychos itching for an excuse to play with live fire.

          • CripesAmighty

            And as usual, their ‘revolution’ will consist of making every bar and cafeteria uninhabitable for the next month as they dial up the yelling at the teevee to 11.

          • Suse

            It seems the gun humpers are even more pissed off and unhinged this time around, though. Yeah – the razor blade thing was weak sauce, but still scary.

        • MynameisBlarney

          They terrorize us while pointing at ISIS.

          • Serai 1

            Gotta make sure there’s a branch of Terrorists ‘R’ Us in every country, dont’cha know.

      • Markuserektus

        THEY torched a church in MS…

        • Suttree

          I’m waiting for the nightly news to see if this covered or if it’s just OMG! Hillary e-mails.

          • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

            I wouldn’t touch that bet with a 10-foot pole.

        • Serai 1

          Jesus fuck. After FIFTY YEARS, we still have to put up with that shit???

    • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

      “It just shows how far we have come in politics where people”

      Oh FFS – you ain’t seen no Clinton supporters setting a trap for pollworkers. (long string of expletives deleted)

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah…the “both parties are the same” bullshit just don’t hold up.

        • Oily Messiah

          both parties’ mainstream is the same, both candidates are not

          • MynameisBlarney

            No.
            I disagree.

          • Suttree

            I hope that the last rational Republican turned the lights out when they left.

          • Serai 1

            Uh, no, actually.

        • Serai 1

          It never did, at least not to people willing to spend three seconds thinking about it.

      • starfanglednut

        Yeah, and I was thinking on the train today that you didn’t see dems blocking all republican SCOTUS nominees on principle.

        • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

          we gave those fuckers Roberts AND Alito. Such bullshit man.

          • H0mer0

            yeah but Bork and Ginsburg went down.

    • Ezio

      I wonder if he did this because he thinks the election is “rigged”? As I said in my comment on that article: This is what you get when you have people who are so convinced that everyone has an agenda to destroy them and everything they hold dear.

    • ViveLaNastyWimminz

      Box cutters. The weapon of choice for gutless batshit crazy terrorists everywhere.

    • efoveks

      Soo Mr Trump, how do you know the election is rigged?

      “I sent out my supporters to make damn sure it was. They’re doing the best job of it, too. Tremedous job. We’ve got voter intimidation, people trying to vote more than once, Russia’s doing it’s bit with Wikileaks, and we even have the head of the FBI doing his bit!”

      • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

        He hires just the best people.

    • Anna Rompage

      Hopefully the person get caught and charged with assault, and trying to interfere with an election.

      • Serai 1

        If it were me, I’d charge with committing a terrorist act.

  • Daniel Krause

    Darn lugenpresse. Never reporting when something is happening.

  • Suttree

    WHAT DO WE WANT!?: Platitudes and the same stump speech every time apparently. (minor varies may apply according to whim)
    WHEN DO WE WANT IT?: Hopefully after I get my spacecraft ready.

  • FlownOver

    But you don’t know what it is – do you, Mr. Whiny Little Bitch?

    • Suse

      Can’t wait for his rape victim’s press conference at 3:00 pm Pacific.

      • starfanglednut

        Today?

  • Berkeleybear94

    Walter Mondale would like to explain to Trump the significance of rally size. Bernie too for that matter. Palin was great at whipping up 20000 morons in Zionsville Indiana – how’d that work out for McCain?

    BTW, as with most things size related, Donald doesn’t want to go toe to toe with B Barry Bamz. Every crowd Trump has is a shadow of the ones Barry got in 08 – the waterfront in Portland was wall to wall humanity you don’t even see when they give away weed (70000+), the Old Capitol at Springfield was so packed at one of the first appearances of OHJB as the running mate at least 12 people suffered heat stroke (estimate 35000 – in a city of 110,00 or so, and with most people (me included) only getting an obstructed view, and a line a literal mile long to get in) and he drew that absurd audience in Germany (over 200K or something ridiculous)

    • cmd

      There were great photos of lines of people to see Obama today at UNC.

    • Suttree

      If only Trump understood facts…….

    • limberrat

      Donald is MAYBE attracting at most 2K and I suspect quite a few are just following him around (Gods2dotcom for example).

  • Panika MCD

    RT: how the fuck would Trumple know?

    https://twitter.com/hollybdc/status/793853958716522496

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Normally I’d be suspicious, but dollars to donuts he’s just talking out of his ass like usual.

      • Suttree

        I’ll put a ten spot down on both of you being right.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          I mean this is literally what he’s been doing every day for the last month. Wikileaks drops something unsurprising, Trump wildly exaggerates/straight-up lies about what it means. Repeat x30.

          • Suttree

            What else does he have to run on? His record of establishing long term businesses? Hahahhhahaha

    • Markuserektus

      His server is connected to the Kremlin?

    • Arolpin

      His Russian handlers told him, obvs! Sheesh.

      • starfanglednut

        Fucking Assange probably told him. If they let him use the phone in his hidey hole.

  • Msgr_Bad_Hombre
    • Vecchiojohn

      And Hillary is Grendel’s mother.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

    OT – Trying to find something other than the endless Traitorous Bullshit, I thought I’d do some virtual shoe shopping:

    https://www.amazon.com/Breckelles-Women-Leatherette-Ribbed-Combat/dp/B017MZO3TE/ref=sr_1_60?srs=2586346011&ie=UTF8&qid=1478117990&sr=8-60&keywords=size%2B11&th=1&psc=1

    Gotta save my pennies, but I think I’ve found my winter boots. :)

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      Those are pretty nice boots, Anna. Good, solid construction for kicking bigots in the shins.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

        XD That too.

        I like how sexy they are for boots. $40 shipped. We’ll see. I gots bills to pay tomorrow, and I need some food.

        • Markuserektus

          Check to see if they have a steel toe version ;-)

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            Good thought! XD

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      Those are very nice – buy me a pair, too!

    • ViveLaNastyWimminz

      Nice! And no animals were harmed in the making of your boots.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer
        • ViveLaNastyWimminz

          Fabulous! I envy you youngz who can walk in those. I had to give up high heels when I hit 50-ish :(

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            I’m 40+ Hun, I just love heels.

            My then GF took me to a club, I wore these with fishnet stockings and a micro skirt. Good times were had by all. XD

        • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

          Tall shoes.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            7 inches. My insteps get tired after a while. XD

          • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

            I would imagine. My ex only wore heels if she had to, and even then she’d switch to flats at the first convenient moment.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            My back feels better in heels. I wear my wedgies all the time, Ive worn out 3 pairs of wedgies since May, but they are cheap from Amazon.

            The really high heels tire my insteps in about 2 hours, but 4″ wedgies are all day for me.

        • Markuserektus

          I’m sure Marco Rubio is jealous…

        • TheGrandWaz00

          I’d be 7′ 2″ in those.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            I’m 5′ 10″, so about 6′ 5″, plus hair. XD

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Some guy named Barack Obama just finished giving a stump speech in North Carolina for some lady named Hillary Clinton.

    The results were predictable.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/l0K40UQiAlffDMVMI/giphy.gif

    • limberrat

      Man, that was an awesome speech!

      • TheGrandWaz00

        Fired up! Ready to go!

      • CripesAmighty

        Bringin’ it like James Brown;going off-prompter, he riffs in sentences and paragraphs, turning a stump speech into a soaring stemwinder. Hardest working man in the business. Gonna miss this guy.

    • Vecchiojohn

      Barack “Hammerin’ Hussein” Obama.

  • DerrickWildcat
    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Whoever came up with that ad is a genius.

      • DerrickWildcat

        Didya notice that Oswald’s face was orange at the beginning of S.3.E.4?

  • Serai 1

    OT: Okay, folks – can somebody point me to a good site that explains all these FUCKING CALIFORNIA INITIATIVES clearly and simply, so I can decide how to vote on them? Jesus, we seem to have 587 fucking things to vote on this year. How am I supposed to get all my man-hating, dick-jerky-making, terr’ist-loving, Murrika-destroying, pantsuit-wearing FEMNAZI SEXXY TIMES WITCHCRAFTING done if I have to deal with deciphering all of THIS shit???

  • ltmcdies

    OT…because everybody needs a laugh

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEEgplXwNWk

  • limberrat
    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      The issue being the emails, I assume?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

        Yes. XD

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          I figured, the lack of clarity just annoyed me.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            I can relate. I clicked the link just to make sure. :)

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      “It was a direct hit! What do we do now?”
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPB5DzKmapc

      • limberrat

        Those cadets honestly remind me of Trump voters.

        • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

          Arrogant, cocksure and absolutely convinced they are right?
          You may be on to something.

          • limberrat

            Inability to listen to any reasoning.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            I’d have reamed them a good one.

            “Starfleet Officers? Captains
            and Commanders? You tit-sucking children aren’t fit to step on the
            shadow of a Line Officer! You’re glory-hounds, deathlovers that haven’t
            learned a damned thing about Duty, or about Starfleet!”

          • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

            That’s why they had to change the characters from Kira and Jake to Nog and Jake – Kira would have kicked their asses 8 ways from Sunday and taken command in about 5 seconds.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            Oh, shit yes. Kira would have spent the transit back to base picking pieces of Waters and that stoopid XO out of her teeth.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik
        • The Wanderer

          Best scene in that movie.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            That guy could give lessons to samurai on how to die with dignity. Not to mention dramatic pauses.

          • The Wanderer

            He knows there’s nothing for it – he’s about to get mooned.

    • georgiaburning

      The biggest problem in our democracy is the short attention span of voters. The second biggest problem is, uh, what was I saying here?

  • The Wanderer

    Shh.
    There’s something happening here . . .

    • Markuserektus

      …what it is ain’t exactly clear.

  • Shibusa

    The journalists are a bit like abused wives. Seems like the worst thing that could happen to their abusive husband, Trump, is to give him no media attention whatsoever.

  • mml1996

    I’m pretty sure after this election, Katy Tur is going to need a room filled with booze and a hug machine, with a cab waiting to take her home when she’s done.

    She’s pretty much deserved it.

    • Suse

      I think we are all going to need it.

      • mml1996

        Only few of us have come within spitting distance of the Trump…

        • Suse

          It’s bad enough seeing him on the teevee set.

          • mml1996

            Imagine covering him and his nauseous fan base… I can’t even…

          • Suse

            I had to attend a George Wallace rally back in HS for my government class. I’m still not over that experience.

          • mml1996

            Ayiyiyiyi….

          • Suse

            Yes! Someone unleashed tear gas, also, too!

          • H0mer0

            my parents dragged me to a Wayne Newton concert once.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            Wow.

      • The Wanderer

        I will, unfortunately, be unable to get my drink on during Erection Night, as I must work the next two days. Rest assured, however, that Veteran’s Day and the weekend shall require much alcoholic beverages.

        • Suse

          Hubs and I are driving down to Santa Barbara on the 10th for a few days. It’s heavily Rethug there. Should be interesting.

          • The Wanderer

            Wear body armor.

          • Markuserektus

            The street gangs will have sold them all lots of drugs and they will OD due to their losses…

          • kev

            when they go low, we go high!

            then we act smug and condescending and say “NA NA Na NA Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na Na!”.

          • BeachBum

            Maybe lots of For Sale signs next to Trump yard signs.

    • kev

      I’m totally volunteering for that job! call me Kev the Hug Machine. (I prefer vodka).

      • mml1996

        HEY! I ONLY GOT WHISKY MAN!?

    • redarmyzombie

      This election day, I’m getting off work, casting my vote, and heading to a friend’s place with the biggest fucking bottle of vodka I can find…

      • mml1996

        You deserve a sloppy kiss for that.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    so ok I think this guy just beat Sarah Palin MLKsplaining in flat ballsout shameless:

    https://youtu.be/aJe1Hqb5ZMU

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Last I checked, voting was a constitutional right. So you don’t get to dictate that people can’t vote because you think they’re lazy. Asshole.

      • kev

        don’t mean to pee on your pant leg, but the Constitution does not have much in the way of a generalized ‘right to vote’.

        • Jen B_VA

          The US Constitution stated in Amendment XV, which was ratified by the states in 1870: “Section 1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude”
          Also
          Ratified on August 18, 1920, the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution granted American women the right to vote—a right known as woman suffrage. At the time the U.S. was founded, its female citizens did not share all of the same rights as men, including the right to vote.
          The constitution says nothin about white men tho ;)

          • kev

            All true. But, read Article I sect. 2 stating the manner in which congressmen are elected: ‘…Electors in each state shall have the qualifications for Electors of the most numerous branch of the state legislature.’

            I.e., each state legislature determines who can vote. The later amendments merely preclude states from excluding people from voting on the basis of those specified reasons.

            Read also Article II, sect. 1 and how the members of the Electoral College are chosen for purposes of electing the president and veep.’Each state shall appoint, in such manner as the legislature thereof may direct, a number of electors…’

            I see no language requiring there to be a popular vote.

    • mml1996

      Alabama: Nincompoops galore!

    • The Wanderer

      Fuck sawing Florida off of the continent, Bugs, work on Alabama.

      • mml1996

        Take MS with you, Bugs

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Hey hey, let’s not go nuts.

        There’s nothing wrong with the real estate.

        • Suttree

          Orange Beach is nice this time of year.

    • lroom

      That’s my state. Shitty as ever.

  • limberrat
    • Shibusa

      “…I asked him why he disliked Hillary Clinton so much, given that her tax and health care policies would directly benefit his family, whereas Trump had personally pledged to take away his father’s oxygen tank and burn it for sport….”

    • Suse

      I would love to send this to my Trumpanzee brother-in-law, but he’s in charge of my sister’s estate and will withhold my rightful inheritance. /s

      • Jen B_VA

        Might be worth it.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      This is every thinkpiece over the last few months that asks me to sympathize with Trumpites, while in the same breath making it earth-shatteringly clear that said Trumpites would never ever sympathize with me.

      The internet: proving that you can gain a greater understanding of someone else and still hate them.

      • kev

        but you have a deeper understanding for why you hate them.

      • cat cafe

        I also take grave issue with the namby-pamby “liberal” view, that we should be kind and tolerant when it comes to racism, bigotry, anti-semitism, misogyny, hatred, and the incitement of violence. I don’t think these things deserve tolerance. I think the contrary. I think we actually have a moral imperative to speak out against these things, to condemn them, to censure and sanction those that try to spread them, to shame them, and to ultimately stop them. It isn’t a matter of a contrary “opinion.” It’s a matter of hate. All righteous people must speak out against hate. I may be an old Berkeley hippie, but I’m also the daughter of someone who barely escaped the Nazis on the kindertransport, and the granddaughter of an Auschwitz survivor, someone whose parents lost countless relatives in the Holocaust, and hate has no place in a civilized society. We MUST speak out against it. Tolerance is bullshit when it comes to people who would destroy us.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I kinda empathize. I am certain it is easier to blame your problems on foreign people than to blame the very politicians that you have been voting for. And I get it: although Hillary’s policies can benefit the working poor (and what’s left of the middle class), it’s not like you look at her and say, “Now here is someone who will shake things up.”

  • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

    SOMETHING’S HAPPENING HERE, KATY

    Was he gesturing to his crotch area while saying this?
    Nobody probably noticed because of his teeny hands.

    • The Wanderer

      If there is something happening down there, it’ll be the first time in many lustrums.

      • Suttree

        Thank you for my vocabulary word of the day.

        • The Wanderer

          (bows)

          • jmk

            Wonkette – come for the snark, stay for the vocabulary-embiggening.

      • Oily Messiah

        Cialis is a hell of a drug

        • Markuserektus

          He prolly has the Reebok pump…

          • Meccalopolis

            He needs a Revok pump

    • kev

      and the podium.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Well we knew nothing was happening upstairs.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Don’t know you would even notice much happening down there if he wasn’t wearing pants.

  • Blacktop Cadence

    OT: More annoying trans stuff you you all. Getting my first beard zap on Saturday. :-)

    • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

      Yays! :D

      • kev

        figures you’d know what the hell that meant. sheesh — you’ve dumped me before our first date for someone hipper.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

          I have not. XD This is what ‘open’ is like, Hunnie.

          • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre
          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            XD

          • The Wanderer

            Some say that he assimilates raw carbon through apertures on his palms, and that he has no appreciation for the works of Francois Truffaut.

          • Jen B_VA

            The wonkette dating hub is well known

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            XD Wonkette, the Snarky Mommy Blog for all your Hook-up needs!

          • Jen B_VA

            And dick jokes! Do not forget dick jokes.

          • Nastyinencinitas

            And sideboob. Lotsa that.

    • Suse

      Is that a laser thing?

      • Blacktop Cadence

        Yup, 6 to 8 sessions of laser and electrolysis to clean up if needed.

        • Nastyinencinitas

          Ow.

    • Jen B_VA

      Congrats BC!

    • Vagendadentacohontas

      YaY for youz!

      Is it a spendy procedure?
      Asking for my (broke but fuzzy) self ;)

    • grindstone

      It’s really not too bad, and the lasers have gotten less painful over time. Just breathe through it!

    • Nastyinencinitas

      It’s not annoying. It’s happy nice time news.

  • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

    David Futrelle takes on Dilbert dummy’s latest masterful persuasive argument. Hillary’s bad cause she likes a little pinot when she and huma are watching the good wife and eating risotto. (Hope you’ll give him your clicks, he’s doing some great work in the nausating world of alt-right and MRAs.)

    http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2016/11/01/scott-adams-hillary-is-the-scary-choice-for-president-because-she-sometimes-drisnks-sorry-drins-i-mean-drinks/

    • Suse

      He’s gone completely off his rocker. Lock him up!

      • kev

        in a cubicle.

    • John Smith

      “falling-down, fight-starting, vomiting-on-the-cat kind of drinker”.

      ME libelz!!!111! Especially this election season.

      • TJ Barke

        Don’t throw up on the cat…

        • vivian

          …or grab it…

        • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

          I threw up on my cat once, but I wasn’t drunk. Some flu so bad I needed 3 bags of dextrose in the ER to hydrate me.

          Poor Kitteh. But at that point is was just a little Sprite. She was still happy to see me when I got home.

          • Meccalopolis

            Sheeit they throw up on us all the time. Seriously though I think little rooters might be bulimic. She eats too fast

          • Anna Elizabeth, Chief Engineer

            Awws.

        • John Smith

          I try not to, but I have one that won’t get out of my lap. What can a sick drunk do? OT OH, I do enjoy playing Super villian. “No Mr. Bond (stroke stroke), I expect you to die (purr, purr)!

        • WHY NOT THEY ALWAYS THROW UP ON ME?q?q?q

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      “True, George W. Bush famously gave up alcohol many years before becoming president. But he got us into two wars we’re still trying to extract ourselves from.”

      Yup. I’m With Drinky.

      • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

        Obama apparently enjoys a beer or two from time to time (beer summit and that famous guinness picture) and he’s just fine in my book.

  • kev

    the exact quote was:

    ‘there’s something happenin’ here
    what it is ain’t exactly clear’

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That’s too clear. Not enough mumbles.

      • Jen B_VA

        People are saying, that is something is happening, people are saying it. I’m not saying it. You’re not reporting it but I’m not saying. It’s Bigly here but what it is? *shruggie emojoi*

    • Notreelyhelping

      I thought it was “but Katy don’t know what it is.” Just like Trump.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        As I posted above, the new single Ballad of an Orange Man

    • Land Shark Hombre

      Paranoia strikes deep
      Into your life it will creep
      It starts when you’re always afraid
      Step out of line, the men come and take you away

      • Toomush_Infer

        …do you, Mr. Drumpf?…

        • Rags

          dum de dummm dum

    • MilwaukeeKent

      There’s a man with a mouth over there
      Telling you you’ve got to beware.

    • Come here a minute

      Stop, Katy. What’s that sound?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    The Cheeto Dondito will know something is happening when Lisa Bloom gets done with him today. Welcome to November.

  • AJ Milne

    I’m just repeating myself again, Katy. You’re not reporting it, but I’m repeating myself. Did I mention I’m repeating myself? Well, I’m repeating myself. In case anyone was wondering. Why, we do not know. Possibly, something, somewhere, is stuck. Try whacking me on the back of the head or somethin’, maybe*. It worked for the jukebox on Happy Days, anyway. Or so Chachi told me…

    … also: repeating myself.

    (Also, too: mebbe he’s just celebrating the UN’s International day to end impunity for crimes against journalists his way? By reminding everyone why we hold it? And how maybe we could also use an International Day to Mock Dickhead Demagogues Who Attempt To Intimidate Reporters Who Report Facts Inconvenient To Their Campaigns? I could also get behind that.)

    (*With votes. Natch.)

  • mardam422

    Something’s happening, Katy. I had one of those what you call, taco bowls from Trump Tower for lunch. And now, something’s happening, Katy. I can feel it, and you’re not reporting it, Katy. Something YOOOGE, Katy.

    • Dee Animal-Andee

      Explosive diar…nvm. Sorry.

    • The Wanderer

      (Major Bloodnok voice) “Ohhh! OHHH! NURSE, THE SCREENS! THE SCREENS! Oh, no more taco bowls for mee . . . “

  • venezia59

    I have a girlcrush on Katy. She seems really cool. She deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor for valiantly cover this ish, day in, day out.

    • Toomush_Infer

      An Orange Heart?…

      • Boscoe

        A Purple Cheeto?

    • John Smith

      A golden hand holding a cat?

    • Erick the Kracker

      I have a man crush on her. Especially when she wears her glasses.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Ballad of an Orange Man

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Katy Tur meets Donnie Dur.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    My husband marched into our bedroom last night as I was going to sleep and announced that Trump was going to win. I as, quite frankly, out of words at that point.

  • Walter Wellstone
    • Apple Scruff

      I read about it. But I don’t see it happening anywhere. I hope that it’s just running behind and not that the TV people are not airing it.

    • Shucky Ducky
      • Walter Wellstone

        Yeah, the HuffPo removed the link to the press conference story.

        • Shoto

          So what’s the next step for Counselor Bloom? Any idea on that? This story should be on the front page of every paper in the country.

  • I feel so bad for her. She looks like she’s being held hostage sometimes.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      I feel bad for her as well — at (at least) one recent rally she had to be escorted out by police when she left, for her own protection due to crowd hostility — but she’s remained remarkably cheerful and professional about it. She should get combat pay.

  • TundraGrifter

    Something’s happening here
    But the words aren’t exactly clear…

    • Erik Lonnrot

      The rest of those lyrics cut a little close for comfort.

      • BeachBum

        Try to stay alive in-country ’till ya rotate back to the World. Peace.

  • Be Gin

    So Donnie has decided to “do” some poetry on the stump.

    Heavy.

  • Royal Ugly Hombre
    • Shoto

      Make Orange Dicks Great Again.

  • Shoto

    Jeezuz Xmas Bunny. The orange man-baby is one truly demented MF. I’d love to reach out and snap that tiny little cocktail weenie finger (with votes) like a twig as he’s pointing it at Katy Tur.

    In the meantime, the mouth-breathing rubes who support this fucker can’t seem to grasp that were he ever to be afforded the awesome power of the US Presidency, he would escalate his taunting of reporters (and others) to the level of jailing them (at the very least). This shit is terrifying.

    • glennisw

      Nothing like rebuking a reporter for “not reporting” how wonderfully positive his rallies are by exhorting the crowd to scream hatred at the reporter. I guess NOW she has something to report.

  • Sakonyachen

    “At Trump’s command, the crowd turned around and booed and hissed and clapped and barked like angry sea lions who just heard the big sale at the Big Lots was canceled and *Golden Corral* was on fire, just like he trained them to do.”

    FTFY Evan.

    • BeachBum

      Libelz all 6 colors of Jello !

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    North Carolina GOP Files Complaint Against Charlotte Observer For Hosting Forum On Anti-LGBTQ Law http://mediamatters.org/blog/2016/11/02/north-carolina-gop-files-complaint-against-charlotte-observer-hosting-forum-anti-lgbtq-law/214258

    “There’d be no problem if people would just not talk about it.”
    Just when you thought that shameless Republican fuckery could sink no lower.

    • The Nasty Librarian!

      I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no bottom.

      • LesBontemps

        Of course not; it’s turtles all the way down.

    • BeachBum

      Hey, ya know who else used to say that ?

  • Sakonyachen

    I know someone like that. They want you to leave them alone when you are saying things they don’t want to hear. They have a shitfit when you don’t pay attention to you after telling you to leave them alone. They want to argue but they don’t want you to talk. They want you to stand there awestruck by their brilliance despite being entirely full of shit. This person has threatened me with an imposing acquaintance of theirs enough times that I have more than once considered calling my own acquaintances despite them being a Pandora’s Box scenario. They often substitute their own reality for facts and don’t take well to being told that it’s what they do. They will literally say something and then denying saying it 30 seconds later. They will accuse you of conspiring against them when you are having legitimate discussions about their misdeeds. On. And on. And on.

    This person is 11 years old. She is my stepdaughter. She is a bit confused still about our relationship and at the same time she is starting puberty. What the fuck is wrong with Cheetoh Finito?

    • cat cafe

      You’re giving him too much credit. I’ll bet your stepdaughter can put together coherent sentences and keep her behavior together when she wants to, like at school. I bet she is capable of having loving relationships and even perhaps of empathy, perhaps to a pet or to a friend at school. Her bad behavior can even be understood as a response to an actual situation in real life. Trump behaves like a spoiled, screaming toddler being carried out of Toys R Us.

      • Sakonyachen

        I thought that’s what I was saying actually.

  • Boojum

    There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly clear.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Everybody look! What’s going down?

    • Bernarda Alba

      Something’s happening but you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Trump.

      • ez

        Bernarda, I have notified the Nobel Committee and they have confirmed they will take back that prize from Mr Dylan and award it to you!

      • wavicles

        Mister (I use the prefix reluctantly) A. Jones says HE knows. HE knows about all kinds of somethings. We should listen to him, he knows, you know.

  • Banquo’s Ghost

    I’d love for her to shout back at him once but she’d probably get pelted by paper airplanes made from KKK flyers.

    • wavicles

      Paper airplanes, sure. That’s cute.. your optimistic view. I wish that I could believe that that’s what they’d fling

  • Katy is so lucky to have someone like Trump in her life who will tell her when something is happening. I rarely know when anything is happening. Man, she’s lucky. I wish I was as lucky as Katy is.

  • Donnajskinner2

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ht413f:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !ht413f:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash713TopEarthGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ht413f:….,…….

  • Mike Steele

    Agnostic’s view of the afterlife, should it exist: Katy, having served her time in hell, is
    greeted by the Publishers Clearinghouse gang who present her with a YUUUGELY cash able check for a zillion dollars. Donald is confined to a highchair, just out of tiny-fingered reach of a perpetual parade of T&A. Karma’s a bitch; so is Kellyanne.

  • therblig

    if she interviewed him, would it be a tete-a-tete or a tur-a-turd?

  • Bernarda Alba

    Well, the corporate media finally has that thrilling high-stakes neck and neck horse race they’ve been longing for all these years, yippee whoop whoop.

  • peteywheats

    Something is happening. The Nazi Spring is happening thanks to Hair Furor.

  • Cal

    I’m not embarrassed for Donald Trump, he lacks the capacity to be embarrassed by his buffoonery. I am, however, embarrassed for the people recorded on camera at his campaign stops.

    These Trump supporters are looking more and more like the blind Germans who put Hitler into power.

    Trump needs to rely on these large brain-washing rallies to garner up support. These racists cannot fathom that a black man has been so successful. Barack Obama has thrived in office.

    Dow over 17,000, record corporate profits, 5% growth, best year for jobs since 1999, consumer confidence up, deficit down 60% in 2014, gas prices low, health insurance cheaper than ever ($85/month), car insurance cheaper than ever ($25/month from Insurance Panda), the 1% starting to be taxed more… all while republicans bleated about Benghazi took pointless votes to repeal the ACA, and did nothing for anybody except the top one percent.

    It turns out that Obama is indeed “the adult in the room,” and yes, the Chess Master.

    Hillary will keep it going, any republican will screw it up. Simple as that.

  • Joy
  • sadboy

    Katy Tur actually seems like a fairly disciplined, competent journalist, unlike most of those douchebags on Morning Joe that she has to follow.

  • Ryan Denniston

    The Happening!

  • HooverVilles

    A thought regarding Donald Trump. The christian “seven deadly sins” are; gluttony, greed, sloth, lust, vanity, envy and wrath. Tell me Xtian Trump supporters, how many of these sins punishable by death has Trump comitted?

    • BeachBum

      “Thanks. I’ll take over from here.” –Lucifer, (R, Hell).

  • BeachBum

    As every pile of turds may glimmer in the morning sun, he did give her a title for her book she will write about the election. She could even star in the movie.

  • Any word from Mr Jones as to whether or not he knows what it is this time?

  • hvdv

    Trumpowerment is an ugly thing.

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