Once upon a time, thousands of years ago, there was a thing called the “George W. Bush administration,” and it did #BadWar to everybody, opened up a torture colony called Abu Ghraib, and did many other things that made freedom-loving people everywhere very :( and angry. What quaint days those were! And that Bush administration had a lawyer named John Yoo who had ALL THE BONERS for torture! He wrote these memos about how the kind of torture we were doing wasn’t even torture anyway, and besides, here are some #HotTips on how America can flout international law, so we can keep doing torture. He’s a champ, that John Yoo!

Let’s fast forward to the present! NBC has a long thinky piece about “The Vengeful World Of Donald Trump, And Why It Matters,” which examines Trump’s frightening mindset that requires swift vengeance for all slights, no matter how minor. The article doesn’t mention Trump’s Twitter account, but we imagine that’s just an oversight. Deep into the article, it discusses how much Trump LOVES torture. He loves it so much! He has said in the past that if he tells the military to torture everybody, they will obey him even though it’s against the law, because if President Trump wants it, that means it’s not against the law. (*Cough cough* NIXON *cough cough*!) On Sunday, Trump whined that it’s “medieval times” in the fight against ISIS, which means we should DEFINITELY get to do all the torture.

After the NBC piece mentions Trump’s love of torture, it gets interesting because JOHN FUCKING YOO is quoted saying not that he is so ‘scited that there finally might be a preznit who will love torture as much as John Yoo does, but that even in his messed up John Yoo brain, Trump is fucking scary and insane, like whoa you guys:

John Yoo, author of the so-called “torture memos” that provided legal footing for enhanced interrogation techniques like waterboarding, condemned Trump using equally strong language, even comparing him to fascist dictator Benito Mussolini.

“He’s the classic demagogue described well in the Federalist Papers that our system is designed to stop,” Yoo said. […]

“He’s pandering to the sort of visceral reaction people have for revenge against terrorists, which is not what motivated the Bush administration,” Yoo said.

The Bush administration had ONLY the loftiest ideals in mind, when it decided to illegally detain and torture people, ayup.

Now look, we are not saying John Yoo is some expert we should listen to. Obviously. What we are saying is that when EVEN THAT WHACK-JOB is basically saying, “Guys? We need to think about America’s moral high ground and the fate of our beloved nation,” then maybe we should get our dumb noses out of Hillary Clinton’s top secret classified AOL free trial diskettes and pay attention to what’s at stake eight days from now.

Just a thought.


Oh hey, here’s a video from Hillary’s campaign featuring diplomats and world leaders and foreign policy experts talking about what a mighty badass they think she is. Hooray, we can choose a REALLY GOOD PERSON to be president of America, and tell that Donald Trump to fuck right off!


That’s better.


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  • UncleTravelingMatt

    If any comment on your conduct ever includes the words “even John Yoo,” you are doing it wrong. And probably evilly.

    • cmd

      Yeah, I saw a headline about a GW Bush “Ethics” person and thought, how is that in the same sentence. Didn’t even have time to read it, though.

  • Wow. First, it was that asshole Joe Walsh saying something normal and not reprehensible, now it’s John fucking Yoo.

  • Señor Taco Hombre

    Both sides do it.

    wait what did I type.?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    John Yoo will not go quietly into that cattle car.

  • cmd

    Really, John Yoo, and Alberto Gonzalez saying the FBI guy might not have should have done that. Twilight zone for sure.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      I bet both Yoo’s and Gonzales’ hairs are standing on end at the thought of a Trump-wing takeover.

      Because they’re on the list….

      Hispanic, Asian.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      One has to maintain some plausible deniability or you won’t get an invite to Sally Quinn’s next tiger shrimp soiree.

  • Joe Beese

    It’s a good thing you can’t comment here because what I’d say about John Yoo would get me banned lickety split.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Even hinting at “a taste of his own medicine” is probably enough to get the hammer.

      • bob hombre

        A taste of his own votes?

  • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

    Have I fallen into a parallel universe? Is there some sort of planetary alignment that has altered some people’s morality? Because this is getting too weird even for this ol’ cowboy.

    • Erala Contratista

      Must be one of the ones Neuter told us about last week.

  • BearGHAZI

    “I know more about torture than the torturers”

  • goonemeritus

    Who the fuck cares what this bastard has to say. The fact that he is right on Trump doesn’t excuse him from the immense damage he has done in the world.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Well, it shows there is a limit to crazy and rationalization. But you’re right this guy is a slimy bastard.

    • Vericima

      Broken clock…something, something…..

  • BMW

    John Yoo (the guy who tried to legally justify torture) is not to be confused with John Woo (the guy who has made a lot of movies that are torture to watch).

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Aw, The Killer is one of those movies I have to watch once every five years, it’s just so great.

  • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

    Fuck Yoo.
    EDIT: and the horse Yoo exploited by riding in on it.

  • Callyson

    “Am I not allowed to respond?” he asked after being criticized for feuding with a Gold Star family that denounced his proposed ban on Muslims.

    Asshole, you don’t get to play the victim when you’re the one who started it with said Gold Star family.

    You’re welcome.

    • SessileRaptor

      The answer is no, you are not allowed to respond. A basic part of being a politician (and also a gown up adult) is being able to take criticism without reverting to a damn 3 year old and shouting “NO, YOU’RE A POOPYHEAD!!!”

  • Indiepalin

    Phuk Yoo

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Hillary will of course be my Madame President; but Julia Gilliard is the Prime Minister of my heart.

  • baconzgood

    John Yoo hasn’t done any thing good since Hard Boiled.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    When you’ve lost John Yoo…

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      . . . do everything you can to keep from finding him again.

  • Callyson

    “Torture works, OK folks?” he said later that month. “If it doesn’t work, they deserve it anyway,” he has also said.

    Who cares if it works, as long as it makes Donald feel like a man!

  • therblig

    Yoo-S-A! Yoo-S-A!!

  • Joshua Norton

    Kellyanne and her merry band had better start stealing the silverware, since that’s probably the only way anyone’s going to end up getting paid.

  • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

    Yoo can’t always get what Yoo wants.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      But if Yoo try sometime, Yoo might find, Yoo get what you need!

    • therblig

      i’ll never be your beast of burden of proof

  • elviouslyqueer

    Eight more days, y’all. Eight. More. Fucking. Days.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I would go as John Yoo for Halloween, but Party City was fresh out of “Huge Pile of Shit” costumes.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, Donald is very much in the news and in vogue right now, so understandable.

      • Nastyinencinitas

        A friend from Mexico told me that when you go over the border there are Trump piñatas as far as the eye can see.

        • SigDeFlyinMonky

          You don’t need to go all the way to the border… just to Central and Olympic, downtown L.A.

          • Nastyinencinitas

            I’m 30 minutes from the border but 2 hours to downtown LA, if the traffic gods are smiling.

  • starfanglednut

    Gah, I hate being reminded of John Yoo’s existence. I hate that guy. His very name fills me with loathing and dread. He’s the worst guy in W’s administration, with the possible exception of Cheney.


    I still think those guys are more evil than Trump. Trump is seriously mentally ill, and certainly might be more dangerous, but those guys are true evil to the bone.

  • Callyson

    While Trump spoke, a burly man in a “Make America Great Again” cap put a protester in a headlock before security removed the activist, then walked around collecting high fives from rally-goers. As security came to remove him as well, the crowd began cheering, “Let him stay!”

    But Hillary is the bad one for calling half of Donald’s supporters deplorable. Got it!

    • The Bird in a Red Pantsuit

      My analysis of the situation is that these are people living out their fantasy of what type would do to people they didn’t like if they didn’t have the rest of the world watching them.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    I have no problem believing this.

    In fact, I can’t even imagine John Yoo going to a Trump rally incognito and getting out un-molested.

    And you know he knows that too.

  • Daisy

    Ahhh, John Yoo was actually brought up by our dearest Callyson back when I was still debating on going to Berkeley. I remember googling him and thinking, “Please not Berkeley. ”
    So Trump has even lost him, then. That’s bad .

  • Scooby

    Didn’t I see this guy on Watters World?

  • limberrat

    **breathing in paper sack** 8 more days, 8 more days

    • Apple Scruff

      I saw Drumpf on the news today at a rally thanking Huma. It’s was so fucking obnoxious that it set off some triggers. I turned off the TV and vowed to not watch a stitch of news for the next week. I won’t make it out alive if I do.

  • Joe Beese


    CNN says it is “completely uncomfortable” with hacked emails showing former contributor and interim DNC chair Donna Brazile sharing questions with the Clinton campaign before a debate and a town hall during the Democratic primary, and has accepted her resignation.

    Now all she has to do is resign from the DNC and justice will have been served.

    • limberrat

      So when are they asking for Lendalowski’s resignation from CNN?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The 12th of Never, Katie.

      • Joe Beese

        The last time, y’all were “Naturally Hillary would expect a question about the death penalty!”

        I guess that’s not an option any more.

      • elviouslyqueer


    • Callyson

      Well, crap. Donna, you fucking knew better than to pull that crap.

      That said, as limberrat says, Lewandowski’s ass should be gone too FFS.

      • Joe Beese

        A loyal henchwoman to the last.

        • Callyson

          Not a wise one, however. That should not have fucking happened, the end.

          Again, that said, CNN had no business hiring a commentator who signed an agreement barring him from criticizing one of the major Presidential candidates FFS.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I never liked Donna Brazeeyul.

  • Scooby


  • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

    Ummmmm….if we know torture very rarely results in obtaining useful information, exactly what motivated the Bush administration to use it, if not revenge? Shits and fucking giggles?

    • limberrat

      YOU’RE BACK!!!

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        It’s a Halloween miracle!!

        • limberrat

          Where’d you disappear? Did Linus convince you the Great Pumpkin was coming?

          • Big Boppa (BadHombre)
          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            Been sitting in that damn pumpkin patch for weeks!

          • limberrat

            Glad to have you back, we were missing your snark.

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            Thank you. I appreciate the wonderful welcome back!

          • John Smith

            I’m not sure I remember who you are, but you come highly recommended!

            JK, welcome back!

        • Rick Hill

          Strange things happen this time of the year….

          • Rick Hill

            Also, NSFW

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Not Safe for Wonkette?

          • Rick Hill

            Proly not safe for wick

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            I see you haven’t changed at all!

          • Rick Hill

            What? It’s not condescending, the thexxy stuff is necessary for the plot, and Jack got his just deserts for not working when he should. A highly moral and humorous little ‘toon

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Every 45 years or so we have to prove that all over again.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Because reasons?

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        It’s handy for soliciting false confessions and falsely implicating co-conspirators.

        Which is handy if you already know who you are planning to execute to suppress a particular faction.

    • There was that one guy that they claim they waterboarded more than 160 times…you’d hope that by, oh I don’t know, the 137th time, it would have occurred to them that maybe waterboarding doesn’t work.

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        That’s horrible.

        • SadDemInTex

          Glad to see you!!

    • Anna Rompage

      People who don’t know any better know it works, because they’ve seen it work on TV….

      Anyone who watched even a season of ’24’ know as much as about national security as the best of our national intelligence operatives…

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        You mean people who think polygraphs are lie detectors also too?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      All the “they do far worse” bullshit kind of led me to believe we were in some kind of sadist-off with The Evildoers.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yay! It’s Miz Mulg! Welcome back sweetie.

    • Nastyinencinitas

      Hey girl! Happy Monday! So much to talk about!

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        Hi, lady! Love the new name. Very Nasty!

        • Nastyinencinitas

          Oh, getting nastier every day! Hopefully I’ll return to my sweet, demure self after the election but desperate times and all…

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            Please don’t!

    • Yes. Shits and giggles. That should be obvious. I quote Mr Blonde:

      “I don’t give a good long fuck what you know or what you don’t know, but I’m going to torture you anyway. Because it’s amusing to me, to torture a [Moooslin].”

    • kev

      The torturee eventually figures out what you want him to say, and he says it to stop the torture. If you are looking to justify, say, the Iraq invasion under GWB ex post facto, torture is the way to go.

  • JVisconti

    Ever since the water boarding ride went belly up at Six Flags Over Texas, Yoo has been dead to me.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I tried it while I was at Six Flags. The ride people kept letting all the people of color get on before me. Rigged. Didn’t ride.

  • Brian
    • At around the :52 mark, it sounds like the mother is saying “Oh my Crom”.

      • Courser

        I heard it too ;-)

    • Arolpin

      I saw five kids and figured god-botherers, but they are engaging in PAGAN SATANIC ritual (gourd) lobotomy, AND they didn’t try to pray the girl’s head out. Mom is my hero, because she thinks dad needs to see this too. How in the world do they have 5 kids and no fighting for 4 full minutes? My twins seem unable to take two successive breaths without a fight.

      • kev

        I was but one of six siblings but as the eldest male, the only one that mattered. There is never that long between fights among that many kids.

  • Anna Dash!
  • Crystalclear12

    Fox news is starting to report news, Trump supporter defending Hillary and now bad guy is agreeing with the good guys.
    You know, I’m not mailing my mortgage payment, obviously the END is nigh and I need that money for booze.

    • mackafritz

      You knew the end was near when the Cubs and Indians made it to the World Series.

      • Crystalclear12


      • DesertedPictures

        I’m going to pay extra attention to my cat: if he strarts living with a dog i know a trump victory is nigh.

        • NastyBossetti

          My dog cried and ran away when he saw a cat sitting on a porch just this morning, so we probably have a little bit of time.

          • nick kelly

            Jees- At first I thought you said your dog ran away with a cat!

            We may be loose here, but there are limits

          • NastyBossetti

            That truly would be cause for concern. He is a 70-lb pit bull with a very rational and healthy fear of cats. If he runs away with one, we are all in trouble.

      • kev

        AMEN! By law, one of them has to win! GO TRIBE!!!

  • Royal Ugly Hombre

    At this point, Jon Yoo is just an annoying hipster who wants credit for bringing back waterboarding before anybody heard of it.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      So he’s what, taking the twelfth century off his iPod?

  • Crank Tango

    I was just wondering whatever happened to this guy.

    • DesertedPictures

      I bet he has had a wonderfull life because this is a cruel unjust world.

      • Crank Tango

        Yeah I doubt he had to have his asshole sewn back together. Or maybe!

    • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

      Wasn’t he teaching law after Bush left office?

      • Crank Tango

        Yeah I believe so. I remember a petition against him, and then yawn so many more shitbirds to deal with.

      • MamaBrown

        Where? Trump University?

      • Bill Slider

        At Liberty U, or Trump U?

      • nick kelly

        He taught torture- even a few jokes. “When we connect the electrode to the penis, that’s when they tell us what they did tomorrow’

    • malsperanza

      Fucking chaired prof at Berkeley. Which should forever be ashamed of itself.

      • mrpuma2u

        Alberto Gonzalez is grifting at a law college here in Nashville

  • DesertedPictures

    The Bush government was a sort of lawful evil: they did bad things but always tried to make it appear as if they kept to the rules. Trump however, is simply crazy.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Chaotic Neutral.

      • Jen B_VA

        Chaotic evil

        • sw19headlesshorseperson

          Lawful Evil.
          “Lawful evil is the methodical, intentional, and frequently successful devotion to a cruel organized system.
          A lawful evil character methodically takes what he wants within
          the limits of his personal code of conduct without regard for whom it hurts. He cares about tradition, loyalty, and order but not about freedom, dignity, or life.”

          • jmk


    • OrG

      Is Trump even dumber than Bush?Is that even possible?

      • Lefty Frizzell

        Absolutely! Dumber and badder.

      • Zyxomma


  • A Grumpy Cat

    … wow.

    That’s really all I got.

    • Jen B_VA

      a million upfists for a Julian Bashir Hillary H.
      We salute you *salute*

  • fawkedifiknow

    John Yoo? Next you’ll tell us Josef Mengele recanted.

  • clubseal

    I looked up “stain on democracy and what we should stand for” in the dictionary, and John Yoo’s photo was there.

    • cheetojeebus

      He’s also crossed referenced under “Fucking soulless jitbag “.

  • LesBontemps

    Let me put the Yoo in fuck you, John Yoo! Also fuck you, David Addington and Jay Bybee! All three of you should be rotting in prison, you perverse inhuman fucks! We haven’t forgotten about you motherfuckers!

    • kev

      And to think! Bill Clinton was disbarred and those fuckers haven’t been.

      • OrG


  • SadDemInTex

    Anybody heard from AngryBlakGuy? I’m worried about him. I miss his fierce comments.

    • The Bird in a Red Pantsuit

      I was thinking the same thing the other day. Do you think he left us for someone else?

      • Nastyinencinitas

        I believe someone close to him is having a health issue. Maybe he’s lurking? If so hey ABG!

    • Suse

      I just looked at his profile. He last left a non comment here 2 months ago.

  • puipui

    John Fucking Yoo. JOHN FUCKING YOO.

    Can someone just point me to wherever Callyson has already said “FOR FUCK’S SAKE” so I can upfist her, please?


    And, Johnny, how many emails did you illegally route through the server in the basement of the RNC to keep them from FOIA requests that could have been used to show how you sanctioned war crimes?

  • kev

    Evan, you forgot to say “The End”.

  • gallbladder


  • malsperanza
  • OrG

    something something blind squirrel something broken clock something something

  • mrpuma2u

    Yoo can’t make this stuff up, Yoo know.

  • hvdv

    Hillz has some seriously competent people producing her campaign videos. Previous ones were good, sometimes tear-jerky good, sometimes feel-goody good–this one is just a death blow to her “competitor.” Does he have campaign videos? I haven’t seen one.

  • Zyxomma

    Here I am in the library, reading yesterday’s articles today, because I added them to my reading list and they WEREN’T THERE. Must have done something wrong.

  • nick kelly

    Yoo might be young enough to survive water boarding _I’d like to do Cheney but you know..I don’t.want the GOP proclaiming a martyr.
    Then we could ask Yoo his opinion – wanna bet he doesn’t say-not sure let’s do it again

  • ernest meyer

    I just wanted to say thank you. I agree one hundred percent, and the fact that the GOP did not disqualify Trump for this comments on Torture is disturbing and depressing to a level I could not commit to words

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