SHARE
Ready to kill Hitler
Ready to kill Hitler

Yay, Scott Adams, the creepy and weird guy who makes the Dilbert cartoons, is being creepy and weird again! He’s fawned all over “polyamorous alpha male serial kisser” Donald Trump, even going so far as to suggest he thinks Trump is handsome. He’s shared his thoughts about how men who support Trump are way sexxxier than men who support Hillary Clinton, because obviously. And he’s “endorsed” Hillary, but ONLY because she is terrible and keeps acting like Donald Trump is Hitler, which means all Clinton supporters will murder him dead if he supports Hitler. Or something.

Now, Adams has a promise to make to America. He doesn’t think Trump is ACTUALLY like Hitler, but if it turns out that he is just like Hitler, he will go ahead and murder Trumpy Hitler, because that’s what you have to do when you accidentally elect Trumpy Hitler as president, you assassinate them:

My promise: If Trump gets elected, and he does anything that looks even slightly Hitler-ish in office, I will join the resistance movement and help kill him. That’s an easy promise to make, and I hope my fellow citizens would use their Second Amendment rights to rise up and help me kill any Hitler-type person who rose to the top job in this country, no matter who it is.

As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense. If you are a Republican gun-owner, and you value the principles of the Constitution, I’m confident you would join me in the resistance movement and help kill any leader that exhibited genuine animosity toward people because of their genitalia, sexual preference, or skin pigmentation.

In other words, I’m willing to bet my life that the “monster” view of Trump is an illusion.

THANK GOODNESS! Don’t you feel safe and secure now? If Trump starts murdering Jewish people even a little bit, Scott Adams, valiant man-beast that he is, will kill him dead. If Trump genuinely acts like he hates women or gays or racial minorities, Scott Adams will go ahead and maketh murder upon him. Never mind the yooooge body of evidence that Trump really, for real, is a misogynist racist. We don’t know what Trump would actually have to do that would be so bad that the weird Dilbert guy would kill him dead, but don’t worry, Scott Adams has got this.

Adams’s point, such as it is, is that Trump is not Hitler, therefore he won’t have to kill Hitler at all. It’s just that Lying Crooked Hillary has made everybody think Trump is a monster, when in reality, he is gentle and sexxxy and only a little bit racist and sexist and totally worthy of the fan-boy crush Scott Adams has on him.

But if Trump turns into Hitler, boy oh boy, the Dilbert guy is going to bring the pain on him, because being Hitler is NOT NICE.

We feel like we should add here:

EVEN IF IT IS TRUMP HITLER YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT.

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SECOND AMENDMENT THEM.

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO WATER THE TREE OF LIBERTY WITH THEIR DRIPPING BLOODS.

Jesus Christ, these guys.

[Dilbert blog]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Indiepalin

    On the other hand, Dogbert is a self-proclaimed supporter of David Duke.

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    Holy fuck, when did Scott Adams go completely off the rails? I mean, I knew he’d been getting weird, but this….DAY-UM!

    • FauxAntocles

      Time for that MRI he’s been putting off.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      He has that white male narcissism to which undeservedly wealthy white males often succumb.

      Orange ones, too.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Dilbert von Stauffenberg!

    Sigh.

  • Nounverb911

    Wait! Is this before or after Hillary offs him?

  • Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-p

  • FlownOver

    Somewhere in Hell Al Capp is smiling

  • If you are a Republican gun-owner, and you value the principles of the Constitution, I’m confident you would join me in the resistance movement and help kill any leader that exhibited genuine animosity toward people because of their genitalia, sexual preference, or skin pigmentation.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… oh, my… say what you want about the guy, he still knows how to tell a good joke.

    • genuine animosity

      And there’s his escape valve. Any animosity Trump shows will be chalked up to being a joke, just like Adams does when he receives enough blowback against his stupid opinions.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    So, instead of voting for an actual qualified candidate in the first place, Scott here has announced he will join a plot to kill, um, “Hitler” after he helps vote him in.

    This makes a lot of sense. If you think Alex Jones is a level-headed guy, that is.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Wait, wasn’t he going to vote for Hillary, the candidate he knows is an evil murdering dictator, so she wouldn’t snuff him?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      “Yeah, I’m gonna vote for Trump, for sure. But if I change my mind later, I’ll kill him.”

      Thanks, Scott. That should work out just fine.

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        Because nothing says respecting the foundations of democracy like voting for a guy and assassinating him later.

  • Painter of Goats

    Does this mean he is just another pawn in the murder machine that is Big Hillary?

    • He’s been brainwashed!!!!1111!!!11`!!

      and it went down the plughole

      • Painter of Goats

        Not that that’s a bad thing in his case.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Assumes facts not in evidence, to wit: a brain.

  • TJ Barke

    Ezio Auditore you are not. Life is not an assassin’s creed game.

    • Gentle Robot

      Assassins Creed was crazy. I got the guy who killed my dad like 3 hours in.
      Then the assassins guild guys were like “Ezio, this-a guy, he served-a wine to the man who roomed with your father’s killer”
      and I responded “It will-a be-a tricky, but I can do eet” over and over until they got me to murder the Pope

      • TJ Barke

        Well he was a very naughty pope.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Yeah, he was always beating on the hookers in GTA.

  • Cartoon Euchrid Eucrow

    Honestly, it’s gotten to the point where you can’t even describe men as “alpha” or “beta” anymore without sounding like a reductionist asshole piece of human garbage. What is the world coming to?

    (I’m not sure there’s even a joke in there, but I tried)

    • Creepoman

      There are only two kinds of people in the world: Those who separate everything into two categories and those who don’t.

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can do math, and those who can’t.

        • Bad Hombre Ron

          And four out of every three people have trouble with fractions.

        • Arolpin

          There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

    • Ikimizi

      I’m an alpha male, but only because I’m on beta-blockers.

    • Royal Ugly Hombre

      Particle man, particle man

  • Nasty Leftenant Anna
  • TJ Barke

    Does he have an in with the Dark Brotherhood? Is he the Black Hand?

    • Black Spot, sort of like Barguist but more cuddly

  • Bad Hombre Ron

    If Trump gets elected, and he does anything that looks even slightly Hitler-ish in office, I will join the resistance movement and help kill him. That’s an easy promise to make, and I hope my fellow citizens would use their Second Amendment rights to rise up and help me kill any Hitler-type person who rose to the top job in this country, no matter who it is.

    What is he, twelve?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Mentally, yes. But he tries to sound as tough as a 14-year-old.

  • Joe Beese

    Scott Adams and Ted Nugent are two people whose opinions and activities I would like to never be informed of again kthxbai.

  • Spurning Beer

    As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.

    Well, sport, self-defense, clinic assassinations, black traffic stop killings, BLM agent threats, and voter intimidation, anyway.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Almost all self-insert RPF fan fiction is posted under pseudonyms. Scott Adams is rapidly approaching Roosh levels of why that is.

  • Crank Tango

    Is Dilbert even a thing anymore?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yes. My local paper carries it. You haven’t been missing anything. Like all the oldies, it just recycles the same basic jokes over and over again.

      I keep hoping he’ll try to make Dilbert the libertarian Doonesbury or something and finally nail the coffin shut on that whole enterprise.

  • Gentle Robot

    Isn’t this some “call the Secret Service” kinda shit?
    I mean was John Wilkes Booth just “using his second amendment rights?”

  • Señor Bad Hombre

    My promise: If Trump gets elected, and he does anything that looks even slightly Hitler-ish in office, I will join the resistance movement and help kill him.

    Too late fuck face!

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/cf/28/a6/cf28a6420f115660124882bbe4dbca98.jpg

  • TJ Barke

    Is he Agent 47?

    • Nasty Anna Dash

      Hitman libelz!

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Just what this country needs, another ass in assassination.

  • LarryHoudini

    “My promise: If Trump gets elected, and he does anything that looks even slightly Hitler-ish in office, I will join the resistance movement and help kill him.”
    I don’t think anyone will be clipping that quote out and taping it up in the break room.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • Shan the Nasty Libtart

      Thanks for making everybody in the office think I’m watching cartoons.

  • proudgrampa

    Jesus H. Christ. What is WRONG with this guy?

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      Got a few hours?

      • proudgrampa

        Can’t you just give me the Executive Summary?

        • Bad Hombre Ron

          That IS the Executive Summary.

          • Maybe the W briefing?

          • Arolpin

            He is an idiot. His brain is broken. He’s a raging misogynist. That means he doesn’t like women. No, not that he’s gay, that he doesn’t think women should have the same jobs as men. Let me start over.
            He’s dumb, he’s a dumb dumby. Won’t get fooled again.

  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    I think it’s well past time for a psychological evaluation of Mr. Scott Adams.

  • BadKitty904

    Doesn’t this guy have any family or loved ones who could stage an intervention?

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Adam’s Family?

    • Ms Redgyal if You’re Nasty

      Retorical question, right?

      • BadKitty904

        Well, pretty much. It just seems odd to me that so many obviously crazy people are standing in front of news cameras lately.

        • Ms Redgyal if You’re Nasty

          I think B. Barry Bamz gave them courage to speak up when he won. Because in their minds they are just as smart as he is.

          • BadKitty904

            Every cloud has a tin lining, too, I reckon…

  • DainBramage

    Of course, Mr. Adams will be the sole arbiter of what “Hitler-like” means.
    “Oh sure. Trump put a million bad guys into concentration camps in northern Alaska, but they deserved it. Not Hilter!”

  • Suttree

    Has Adams made an extra couple bucks off of this, or is he just an asshole?

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    In fairness, Scott Adams makes his living drawing an imaginary world where his hero is the only one who can fix things, a world he finds populated with incompetent back-stabbers who should not be trusted with play-doh, a world where businesses can lose money perpetually without shutting down.

    • Gentle Robot

      didnt amazon post a net loss for like 10 years straight

      • Crank Tango

        Yeah but who needs nets these days?

        • Whale Chowder

          Pegatron, Apple’s contractor for iPhone manufacturing?

    • Crank Tango

      So, government?

    • Suttree

      Soooo, Trumpland fantasy world?

    • PubOption

      And those businesses are run by people with strange hairstyles.

  • Tallmutha

    If Trump gets elected, and he does anything that looks even slightly Hitler-ish in office,

    Including petting his dog?

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      How about giving a speech in front of some flags?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Or giving a speech in front of a camera?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Posing in his Lederhosen in the Black Forest?

    • Being angry when Black Americans win medals at the Olympics?

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      Waving his arm stiffly without moving it below his shoulder?

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Being a vegetarian?

    • Serai 1

      Shrieking incoherently? Oh right, too late.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Scott who?

    • JohnBull

      Scott Adams. You may remember him from such failed comic strips as “Pinky and the Scrotum” and “The Ambiguously Gay Trio” featuring Matt Drudge.

      • NastyBosGrl

        Scott Baio, Scott Brown… Scotland. I see a theme here.

  • Crank Tango

    So we’re supposed to wait until Trump grows a silly mustache?

    • NastyBosGrl

      He already has the comb-over.

      • bubbuhh

        Sort of a headstache

      • Bear OmNomNom

        Edward James Olmos libelz!

  • Other Chris

    Typical “republican speaks calmly and plainly for 5 minutes, immediately loses their shit and talks crazy when they realize no one’s buying their nonsense”.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    He can’t even promise to kill Hitler without fomenting racial stereotypes himself; ie “Democrats use guns to commit crimes”.

    • Courser

      This is new, I’ve never been accused of being blah before. But I’m cool with it, I definitely could use more melanin

  • cousin itt

    One upside about the Trump campaign?

    He brings out the wurst in die Volk into the light of day.

    • calliecallie

      He’s so spaetzle.

    • Whale Chowder

      You’re being a wiener.

  • Callyson
  • Objectifer

    Hitlerish. Hitleresque. Hitlerian.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      à la Hitler

    • Crank Tango

      Hitlerite was a good one too.

    • Serai 1

      Hitleristic.

  • bubbuhh

    Soundz to me like Dilbert’s Dad haz given up on wimmenz ever coming around to the idea that he is attractive and is trolling GOPee ammoseckshulls for meaningful naughty times

  • Bad Hombre Ron

    As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.

    What insight! Why aren’t the cops using voter registration to solve crimes?
    And what about Independents? Do they use their guns mostly for self-defense, but occasionally bring them out to rob a liquor store?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “As I often say, Democrats Blacks generally use guns to commit crimes. Republicans Police use guns for sport minor traffic violations and for self-defense back talk.”
      — More Truthful Scott Adams?

      • Whale Chowder

        Republicans Police Whites

        FIFY

  • Jen B_VA

    Secret Service has been busy this season, eh?

    • proudgrampa

      All seventeen of the agencies…

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I bet Adam behaved awfully as a child, and no one corrected him.

    https://twitter.com/joshgreenman/status/790243825478492160

  • Mavenmaven

    This is how these types think, I bought myself a gun and I can just walk myself into Warshington any old time and kill the folks what disagree with me.

  • laughingnome

    If your accidental Hitler lasts more than four hours seek immediate attention.

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    It’s innnnnnnteresting that the Rethug wackjob that insists Democrats use guns for murder (citation needed, punk), is in fact suggesting that he and his ilk use guns to murder someone.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, it is the second amendment solution.

      • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

        But it’s not like lawless Democrats even believe in the Constitution, so the argument still doesn’t track.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          My theory is that the second amendment is a lot like the first in two respects: You can have the constitutional right to something and still do illegal shit with it, and you can’t open fire in a crowded theater.

          Still working on that second part.

    • h4rr4r

      You need to adjust your hearing aid. That was a dog whistle.

    • Courser

      Yeah, that was weird, too. I’m a Prog Dem and I have guns and I never, ever kill anybody dead with them. Just paper targets.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Never? Not even every now and then? Don’t drive yourself crazy with these high standards. We all make mistakes now and then, and then have to burn the evidence in an incinerator {cough}. Or so I’ve heard.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Callyson

    I’m confident you would join me in the resistance movement and help kill any leader that exhibited genuine animosity toward people because of their genitalia, sexual preference, or skin pigmentation.

    Pretty sure it’s easier not to elect such a person in the first place. But thanks for the offer, Scott!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1c2022fd3eca1930a9b593cd82eecfe20bbb65f7d437babcedba363d87c182c6.jpg

    • Rags

      Sorry, Scott, but there are plenty of other people who fit your criteria and are leaders and that you have not deaded yet. Get yr ass in gear!

  • h4rr4r

    Everyone says bad things about Hitler but a little known positive fact is that he was the man who finally killed Hitler.

    • bubbuhh

      He was very bad and evil at that too also

      • h4rr4r

        He was really good at that. Only took him one shot.

        • Crank Tango

          With a cyanide capsule in his mouth, just in case.

          • Serai 1

            Pays to have a backup, you know.

      • Serai 1

        Nah, he did just fine. He’s dead, isn’t he?

    • Royal Ugly Hombre

      IKR? He doesn’t get enough credit for that.

  • lucidamente

    Couldn’t we get Opus the Penguin to lay a beating (with votes) on Scott Adams?

  • laughingnome

    Wouldn’t it be easier just to kill prospective Hitler with votes?

  • TheGrandWaz00
  • Mpeg

    I just can’t see this twatwaffle-mouthed imbecile organizing even a posse of homicidal clowns much less a coup to assassinate any president.

  • spends2much

    If he’s trying to make Trump seem lucid and well-reasoned by comparison, mission accomplished.
    (Seriously, this dude is off the rails.)

  • laughingnome

    Say, you know who else wanted to kill Hitler?

    • The Wanderer

      Just about everyone?

    • NastyBosGrl

      Amy and Rory?

      • MizzMazz

        Wasn’t it Mel’s idea?

        • NastyBosGrl

          All right, I knew it as soon as I typed it :D

      • Royal Ugly Hombre

        Rory just wanted Hitler in the closet.

    • Nasty Anna Dash

      von Stauffenberg?

    • Lt Aldo Raine?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Hitler?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Bruno Ganz?

    • Bad Hombre Ron

      Eva Braun?
      ‘Honestly, Adolf, if you go on about that fräulein in the Hitlerjugend one more time…

    • JVisconti

      Leo Bloom and Max Bialystock?

    • andyshelt

      Blondi, when he realised that the dog treat his master had just given him was actually a cyanide capsule!

      Too soon?

      • therblig

        there used to be a website for departed pets that had Blondi listed and virtually every comment was along the lines of “you were a good dog. you couldn’t help who your owner was”.

    • Nasty Anna Dash

      Erwin Rommel?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Stalin, on and off.

    • TheGrandWaz00

      Bill O’Reilly?

    • limberrat

      Tom Cruise?

    • TJ Barke

      Not Henry Ford.

    • DainBramage

      Ernst Röhm?

    • Bear OmNomNom

      George Will?

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Audie Murphy? Dammit, wrong war.

      • Querolous

        You got it right. Murphy really was the WWII veteran Raygun thought he was.

    • Big Boppa (BadHombre)

      Val Curry?

    • Serai 1

      Guy Lombardo?

  • Courser

    Well, that was creepy as fuck for a Monday morning. If this is the way the week starts out, I just might have to murder it.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Scott Adams has a touch of “Milo disease’. He says stupid stuff in a way that’s just flippant enough that he can always backpedal and yell ‘satire’ if he gets too much pushback. It’s essentially a coward’s way of contributing to political discourse.

    • MizzMazz

      And another person who doesn’t understand satire. It’s getting to be a very old excuse.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I meant to not mean that.”
      — Scott Adams

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      If he lacks the courage of his convictions, may I respectfully suggest he simply STFU and GTFO?

  • JVisconti

    Draw a Trump character into the smallest cubicle in your cartoons and wait for the law suits.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Don’t worry America. The League Asinines, er. Assassins, is on the case.”
    Ra’s al Dilbert

  • DQKennard

    We should vote for Trump because when he says all these Hitler-ish things, he’s only lying. Right.

    The bumper sticker:

    VOTE FOR TRUMP
    He’s only lying

  • Crank Tango

    Demoncrats R the real nazi’s, amirite?

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    I haz a confuse. Who is this word salad directed towards? Is it the likely Trumpf voter who is looking for some reassurance that he’s not about to unleash the second coming of the Reich on mankind? Is it the Demoncrats who are worried that Cheeto Benito sounds, most of the time, too much like the real thing? Is it Independents who need to be persuaded to –
    Well, here’s where it breaks down for me. What are they being persuaded to do? Vote for Fanta Hitler and assassinate him later if necessary? Vote for Hillary because no matter what else anyone says about her, she’s not Hitler? Stay home on the couch and eat Doritos? Please, Scott Adams, do vomit another several thousand words out of your piehole and make yourself clearer!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Stay on the couch and eat Doritos. That way the Rethugs down ballot suffer, too.

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        Amen.

    • Whale Chowder

      Please, Scott Adams, do vomit another several thousand words out of your piehole and make yourself clearer!

      Or, y’know, don’t. ‘sokay.

  • boyblue122

    OT- promising early voting numbers in North Carolina

    Hillary Clinton leads Donald Trump by more than 20 points in a poll of North Carolina early voters.

    The new survey from the liberal-leaning Public Policy Polling (PPP) finds that 63 percent of those who say they voted early back Clinton, the Democratic nominee, while just 37 percent say they voted for Trump. Less than a half of a percent say they voted for Libertarian nominee Gary Johnson.

    http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/302482-clinton-sports-big-lead-in-poll-of-nc-early-voters

    • limberrat

      A shame all of Gary’s voters were too high to get out to vote.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Scott, if you are half as brave and patriotic as you claim, I know some near-Hitler types you can feel free to go murder if you want: ISIS. Have at ’em, big boy!!

  • Scooby

    I think he’s only talking facial hair here.

    • Bad Hombre Ron
      • Nasty Anna Dash

        BWAHAHAHA

        I burst out laughing because it’s true, it is an improvement.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        No it is not. He looks like a blond hitler. Scary.

        • therblig

          captain kangaroo’s evil twin

          • Rags

            Mr Green Jean’s friend libelz! And Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring concurs!!!

      • Jennaratrix

        It covers his weak upper lip; which, incidentally, is the reason Hitler wore a ‘stache.

  • Bad Hombre Ron

    I think I might have figured a way to clear all this up. If, as we are led to believe, Scotty thinks Donnie is handsome, the most obvious reason is that Scott Adams is a) an otter, and b) a chubby chaser. He’s just longing for Der Drumpfenfuhrer to grow a beard and start wearing flannel shirts so his adoration can be fully realised.

    • Nasty Anna Dash

      Scotty wants Donnie, Donnie wants Vladie.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Al Borland libelz!

    • PubOption

      Is he a Butch Otter?

  • dslindc

    I think his comment violates the rules for Commenting Radicals weird-as-fuck cartoonists.

    I mean, eccentric is one thing, but this is batshit.

    • OddMan

      Mr. Adams has really gone over to the ‘dark side’ of the ‘dork side’. I enjoyed his comics for years, but as I learned more about him, I have a hard time separating the man from his ‘art’.
      Now, I think Mr. Adams can go to hell and wish the local paper would pull his strip. But I know that will not happen, as it is one of the most popular comics.
      And there is that man vs ‘art’ thing. Many great artists have been true assholes. Oops probably need to cut back on the coffee this AM, overthink alarm.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Dilbert isn’t funny, it is depressing.

    • NastyBosGrl

      Back in the late ’80s when I worked in a cubicle I did think it was pretty true to my experiences, but that hasn’t been true for a long time.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        I was given his book and after a few pages realized it was depressing. not funny.

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        Kinda like how it was funny the first time Garfield ate John’s lasagna, but by the 9,368th time it had grown wearisome.

    • DainBramage

      One office environment I was in was really into Dilbert. Mainly so we could laugh at how our lives sucked.

    • brinylon

      I didn’t think I’d ever regret buying books, but I do regret the Dilbert ones, and there are more than I like to admit. Luckily I stopped somewhere around 2005, when it wasn’t quite so obvious Scott Adams is a giant asshole.

  • chascates

    So guns should only be taken away from Democrats?

    • You finally got it

      • Whale Chowder

        Was that that whistling sound I was hearing?

  • cousin itt

    Oh man, this guy is beyond snark. He actually thinks Twitter is out to get him. Paranoia will destroy’a. I was just on Periscope, the streaming app owned by Twitter. The running count for number of live followers on my session dropped from over a thousand to zero for no obvious reason, even though plenty of people were still on and interacting with me. At a count of over a thousand viewers I would have been close to the #1 stream on the app at that moment.

    http://blog.dilbert.com/post/152204980091/twitter-and-periscope-shadowban-update

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      Because everybody knows it’s not just a computer issue, it’s an enemy attack on your popularity! Because mean girls from high school control the world, apparently.

      • calliecallie

        They will soon enough. :-)

    • Serai 1
    • AnOuthouse

      Were they watching him masturbate again?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It sucks that someone is attacking DNS servers, now isn’t it, Scott?

  • Spurning Beer

    Well, then, if we’re indemnified about Hitlerish behavior, I guess there is no downside to voting Trump at all! What do we have to lose?

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    I can’t believe no one thought to that when Hitler started acting like Hitler…

    • Mezzaluna

      I guess they only had Napolean to compare him to.

    • DainBramage

      Hmmm… Here’s an amazing list of attempts to kill Hitler. There were a lot of them.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_attempts_on_Adolf_Hitler

      • Mahousu

        If only Hitler hadn’t taken away their guns. All those poor German Army officers, not a gun among them.

      • Electric Ukulele Land

        And they were as effective as all those time travelers that have gone back in time to kill him…

    • Serai 1

      A LOT of people thought that, actually. Some of them even tried to act on it.

  • Nockular cavity

    How about “DON’T ELECT NEW HITLER OR NEW SEMI-HITLER IN THE FIRST PLACE?”

    • Electric Ukulele Land

      Or would that be a demi-Hitler? Hemihitler?

    • cousin itt

      Hitler-half-a-bee?

    • Arolpin

      Hitler bis.

    • therblig

      it’s Classic Hitler or nothing for me. and fuck Hitler Lite

  • azeyote

    so any old lunatic gets press these days –

  • Ms Redgyal if You’re Nasty

    Scott Adams is not very clever. He basically published a veiled threat to assassinate Hillary Clinton if she does anything he and his alt-right friends think is wrong. Notice how he wrote “exhibited genuine animosity toward people because of their genitalia, sexual preference, or skin pigmentation.” instead of specific groups.

  • limberrat

    Hello Pleasanton Police Department? I’d like to ask you to put Scott Adams on psychiatric hold.

  • Shan the Nasty Libtart

    People who brag about doing things there’s no chance they’ll ever HAVE to do are called what now?

    • Nasty Anna Dash

      Shiteating Fuckensteins?

      • MizzMazz

        I’m going to have to go and get ready for work right now, and have to find a situation to use that. It won’t take me long, trust.

        • Nasty Anna Dash

          XD

          • MizzMazz

            Hope I catch you later, Anna. In my not-so-UNIT uniform to go and earn some moneys.

          • Nasty Anna Dash

            ~hugs~ Have a good day, Honey. :)

            I’ll be here.

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        Good enough.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Republicans?

    • DainBramage

      Braggadocious?

    • Crank Tango
    • MynameisBlarney

      Fart warblers?

      • Shan the Nasty Libtart

        I’m liking this one.

    • Serai 1

      Randall Terry? No, wait, he was bragging about STOPPING people from doing things he’d never have to do.

    • TheGrandWaz00

      That fucking guy.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Wal-Mart greeters.

  • calliecallie

    This guy is completely off his rocker! He is nuttier than Trump, if that’s even possible.

    “Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.”
    Are you fucking kidding me? According to what source?

    • cousin itt

      The Klan Times.

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      None but his addled brain. My shotguns and skeet medals are not whispering to me to change parties, neither.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That source would be his ass.

    • Crank Tango

      Stormfront?

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Um, guys that’s a dog whistle. Youknow, blah on blah crime And blahs are Democrats .

    • Fartknocker

      I’ve worked a lot (and I mean a lot) of emergencies with law enforcement and I can assure Dildo Bert the Cartoonist that political or religious affiliation is not part of the reported data.

  • LesBontemps

    *cough* Hitlery Clinton *cough*

  • AndyC316

    I’m not sure I follow — if we’re talking about what to do w/ this guy after he becomes Hitlerish, maybe we shouldn’t let him anywhere near any sort of power so as to avoid him becoming Hitlerish… just shut it down before it becomes an issue, right??

  • RobKanC

    Or you can avoid all of that and live in Hillary’s America. She sure ain’t exhibiting any fascist nazi tendencies.

    • NastyBosGrl

      Not according to the haters on my FB feed. She is evil and nasty – and this is from a fellow XX chromosomer.

    • MynameisBlarney

      But…but…she personally rips babbehs from their mothers wombs RIGHT BEFORE THEY GET BORNED!

      Trump said so.

    • AnOuthouse

      yet.

  • Vecchiojohn

    If Jill Stein is elected and starts acting like Hitler, I promise to hunt down Scott Adams and give him such a noogie . . . .

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’ll give him an Atomic Wedgie to end all Atomic Wedgies.

    • DainBramage

      … and a purple nurple.

      • MynameisBlarney

        And a potato patch

        • Tokays_don’t_blink

          Oooh, what’s that?

          • MynameisBlarney

            If someone has enough hair on their forearms, you get them to fold their arm and then in a circular motion you briskly rub the hair until it bunches up, then you straighten their arm out before they catch on.
            It’s quite painful.
            Someone did it to me in junior high. lol

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      and a swirlie.

    • bubbuhh

      Keep the bunny away from him. Bunny grabbing is next door to pussy grabbing.

      • data_ninja

        So you’re saying it’s a gateway tug?

  • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

    Okay, either I am way too sober to try and make sense of this, or it’s insane. This is the kind of stuff that usually leads to very dour men in dark suits knocking on your door to “have a chat” about appropriate commentary.

  • Nockular cavity

    No backsies, no assassinations. Them’s the rules, Scott.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    If anyone is interested here is a sporcle quiz about women on the 2016 ballot, see if you can guess them all:

    http://www.sporcle.com/games/qlh27/women-on-the-ballot-2016

  • bubbuhh
    • Lark_in_the_AM

      The really scary thing would be to play the music from her band, instead of the traditional howls and moans.

  • Serai 1

    Oh, BOY! *fires up the Gif-O-Lator*

  • MynameisBlarney
    • NastyBosGrl

      Free speech and all that, but it terrified me when they did that target shit to Obama and it still terrifies me.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Remember the creepy ass “bleeding targets” they were selling?

        • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

          I remember that. I’m starting to think they should look at bullet-resistant glass around the dias on January 20.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Pretty sure they’ve already got that one covered.

  • bubbuhh

    What are all the Hitler-Trump comparisons? Trump is definitely more of a Mussilini, including the incompetence.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3a7abbff9191110e7d680c88261fbdbf52768e141432e126bc8b61d7390060c1.jpg

    • NastyBosGrl

      It really is scary how much they resemble each other.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Actually, that’s George C. Scott doing a decent Benito.

      • bubbuhh

        I liked Scott’s Mussolini better than Mussolini’s Mussolini.

        • Serai 1

          Scott’s version of anything is usually better. His Patton was pretty great. His Scrooge is AMAZING. The first guy I ever saw play him as having a sense of humor – made him MUCH WORSE OMG.

          • revenant

            i just finished reading Bill Mauldin’s memoir “The Brass Ring”, in which he tells about the meeting he had with George Patton. Patton hated Mauldin’s realistic depiction of front-line G.I.s as disheveled, dirty and cynical; Mauldin said that it was kind of interesting listening to the General lecture him about military history (as far as that went, he knew his stuff) but he still was full of shit and his high-pitched voice made him sound a mite silly.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Serai 1

      Isn’t that George C. Scott?

      • therblig

        i thought so, too

      • Boscoe

        We have a winnah!

    • cheetojeebus

      Many many moons ago I had some history classes in Italy with Mussolini’s biographer. He enjoyed taunting me about my opposition to reagan-who had just won his first term. He thought he’d take the country in the right direction. Geeze what an asshole that guy was.

    • Sean McLaren

      From the “Personality” section on Kaiser Wilhelm II (the guy that started WWI) an almost eerily accurate description of Trump:

      “..gifted, with a quick understanding, sometimes brilliant, with a taste for the modern,—technology, industry, science—but at the same time superficial, hasty, restless, unable to relax, without any deeper level of seriousness, without any desire for hard work or drive to see things through to the end, without any sense of sobriety, for balance and boundaries, or even for reality and real problems, uncontrollable and scarcely capable of learning from experience, desperate for applause and success,—as Bismarck said early on in his life, he wanted every day to be his birthday—romantic, sentimental and theatrical, unsure and arrogant, with an immeasurably exaggerated self-confidence and desire to show off, a juvenile cadet, who never took the tone of the officers’ mess out of his voice, and brashly wanted to play the part of the supreme warlord, full of panicky fear of a monotonous life without any diversions, and yet aimless, pathological in his hatred against his English mother.”

      “From the outset, the half-German side of him was at war with the half-English side. He was wildly jealous of the British, wanting to be British, wanting to be better at being British than the British were, while at the same time hating them and resenting them because he never could be fully accepted by them”

      “He believed in force, and the ‘survival of the fittest’ in domestic as well as foreign politics… William was not lacking in intelligence, but he did lack stability, disguising his deep insecurities by swagger and tough talk. He frequently fell into depressions and hysterics… William’s personal instability was reflected in vacillations of policy. His actions, at home as well as abroad, lacked guidance, and therefore often bewildered or infuriated public opinion. He was not so much concerned with gaining specific objectives, as had been the case with Bismarck, as with asserting his will.”

      • Helene Logan

        Wow. Frighteningly spot-on.

      • Jennaratrix

        I just take issue with “brilliant.” For Trump, not even sometimes. Other than that, it seems pretty accurate. The scary thing is just how many people that describes…

    • Jennaratrix

      Velveeta Mussolini.

      • Querolous

        Fauxsolini.

  • azeyote

    if i went around saying crazy shit all the time they would lock me up, not pay me like they do all these celebrity types – it’s rigged i tell ya –

  • Blackest Noobs

    So Dilbert professes to be a “smart” guy but is it really all that smart to vote for a guy who you think might go the Full Hitler…i mean where in the fuck is the logic in that?

    and we all seen Dilbert, and yes, i have some hand to hand combat training, Close Quarters Tactical to be specific, and I could take Dilbert with both arms tied behind my back and nursing a broken a leg. The Donald is a fat shitbag but he out weighs Dilbert by a good 100-150 lbs and those tiny digits on his hands could slap the “smart” outha Dilbert.

  • limberrat

    Will he respect her wishes? I doubt it since he’s an asshole.
    https://twitter.com/THEAlleyeceeing/status/790515658731683840

    • Doesn’t agree with me? I can’t hear her!

      • Querolous

        Not a ten! Nasty Woman!

  • DainBramage

    So, here’s Scott Adams’ pitch –
    Vote for Trump. He might not be Hitler.

    • Jennaratrix

      In that case, y’all should vote for me,* because I’m DEFINITELY not Hitler.

      *You don’t want to do that. I’d be a terrible president. I wouldn’t even vote for me.

  • calliecallie

    Maybe Adams is angling for a cartoon editorial job with Trump’s news network?

  • AnOuthouse

    Actually, according to Dilbert, Trump can kill Jews. Religion wasn’t in the list of things that will trigger the resistance movement.

  • Bad Hombre Ron

    No need to worry, Sudetenland! If Trump annexes you, Scott Adams will avenge you!

  • Lefty Frizzell

    “As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.”

    There’s nothing quite like opening your argument with a completely disqualifying statement. It’s on a par with “they’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists”, and similarly I don’t think we really need to read or hear any more.

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      Well if you start with a huge, whopping lie it’s easy to slip in all the little lies.

    • Stulexington

      Self reference is the best reference.

    • Clyde Barrow

      ‘Poisoning the well’ is really just another reactionary trait from those who really have no clue what they’re talking about.

  • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

    Okay, I got my ballot thingy… Who am I supposed to vote for again? Saul Alinsky isn’t returning my calls.

  • Clyde Barrow

    I’m done with layman’s predictions. It’s been 8 years and King Obama was supposed to take my guns, build a mosque in my front yard using Ebola carrying illegal immigrant terrorist rapist laborers, and convert us all into a Muslim caliphate.

    The beer drinking, bacon eating, LGBT friendly, women lover has been the worst Muslim king dictator in history. I’m so done with predictions.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Bamz has been on his thin blah ass for nearly 8 years on the FEMA camps. I’ll never vote for him again!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup!
        Me neither too!

        Fact o’ bidness, I’m STILL waiting for Obomber to take my guns away and then force me to get gay married.

        • kev

          don’t lose hope just yet. remember, it ain’t over ’til the nasty lady sings.

          • April

            November 8th?

      • Clyde Barrow

        Slowest concentration camp construction in history! And he probably has the audacity to pay prevailing wage/union scale with excellent benefits and retirement.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Say….ya know who was good at building concentration camps?

          • Clyde Barrow

            Ze Germans!

          • BearGHAZI

            HOPEFULLY Killary KKKlinton

          • Querolous

            George Armstrong Custer? Oh, wait…

          • Little Lulu

            Luminosity?

    • Logic of Color

      He thinks he can just slo-jam his way out of ineptitude. Sad. If this economy doesn’t tank soon I’m going out and buying season tickets to the tractor pulls.

    • Vel Venturi

      Seriously. I’m *still* waiting for Jade Helm to come down here to Texas and get rid of all these teatrumplicans. I was promised Jade Helm, and I got nothing. Thanks, Obama!

      • WeaselPoo

        Maybe Rick Perry’s SMRT spectacles prevented the calamity? Though if so, ofr how long? Heenngggh!!!?

      • Little Lulu

        Isn’t Jade Jesse’s stripper daughter?

    • WeaselPoo

      Well, the predictions were that Obama would be terrible, the worst, and so he has proven to be, by being terrible and the worst at also NOT fulfilling the predictions, thereby being the worst and also terrible too. Luckily, Hillary, Nobama’s illegitimate love-child of nefariousness and four more years of Obummer by inheritance, will fulfill the previous predictions, thus proving the previous predictions as well and such as, too!!!

  • limberrat

    “As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.”
    Funny, I find Democrats take the effort to lock up their guns and take the time and care to treat firearms as the dangerous weapons they are. While many Republicans do the same thing, there is a large subset that leave them out or have a total lack of respect for the danger they pose.

    • MynameisBlarney

      INORITE?!?!

      I betcha THIS genius ain’t votin’ fer that Killery!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtkapY3ZfD4

      • Clyde Barrow

        Apparently that bright orange safety vest didn’t prevent the man from mistaking his own forehead for a deer. ‘Murica….fuck yeah!

  • limberrat
    • NastyBosGrl

      And I say – So?

    • Kooolest G

      given that the “gun control” she’s proposing has support from about 90% of the population, wherever did they find these people to plant in the audience?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, it’s shocking that people who support Hillary might also think that the THIRD FUCKING WORD IN THE SECOND AMENDMENT needs some attention.

    • Courser

      And? So? Therefore?

  • SayItWithWookies

    “Oh hell, let him spend a night in the bank vault. If he steals anything, we can arrest him in the morning.”

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    So the slogan is “100% not Hitler or we kill him dead. We guarantee it”

    It works for fast food, why not the president?!

  • Beowoof14

    Scott seems to be as sharp as that manager guy he mocks in is comic strip.

  • therblig
  • elviouslyqueer

    As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.

    Gee whillikers, Scott. How very not racist at fucking all of you to say that.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Indeed.
      Also, note the distinct lack of dog-whistle.

  • SessileRaptor

    Yeah, no. The jerkoffs who fetishize the second amendment and talk about the “tree of liberty” won’t lead any kind of revolution against trump. They’ll be the ones getting in line to apply to be guards at the camps where the unamerican scum will be incarcerated and made to pay for being such unamerican scum.

    When they talk about freedom, they only mean their own personal freedom to bully, hurt or kill anyone they want, full stop.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Those are the dudes.

    • Serai 1

      They’ll go hijack some national parks offices. REVOLUTION!!!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Pretty certain there is no constitutional right to murder anyone.

    • Sister Artemis

      Damn!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Why do you hate ‘Merka?

    • limberrat

      It’s the Second and a half Amendment! Its totally on there!!!

    • OddMan

      ‘Stand your ground’ laws are pretty close to that right. But we only have them in 22 states so there is that.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      What part of “well-regulated WOLVERINES!!!!!1!!” don’t you understand?

    • Gentle Robot

      Article I Section VIII is pretty clear on Congress’s power to raise armies, a Navy and declare war. Unless War was some kind of flower-picking exercise in the 18th century, I’m pretty sure murder is in the constitution.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        That’s not a constitutional right for an individual to commit murder, however – that’s a congressional power to do it.

      • Jennaratrix

        Well, if we’re being pedantic (and I usually am):

        Murder: the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another.

        International law and various treaties recognize that the killing of one human by another under a declaration of war is not “unlawful;” if that wasn’t the case, soldiers etc. could be tried in civilian courts for killing enemy combatants. You start running into problems when people kill non-combatants, or continue killing during a ceasefire, etc. So the original point stands: there is no constitutional right to murder anyone. And if we’re going to continue to be pedantic (because hey, why not), there isn’t a constitutional right to kill anyone, either, although there are times where you might be called upon to do that in the nation’s defense. But it isn’t an individual right.

        • Gentle Robot

          Regardless of the fact that murder being illegal by that definition means it can never be legal, it’s kind of fucked up that it’s totally legal to get murdered if yer not from here or if you take part in an insurrection.

          • Jennaratrix

            Yeah, I’m not going to argue with the fucked up part, because war is pretty fucked up. Having studied it for most of my adult life, I’ll the be the first to tell you that some of the reasons that have been trumped up (no pun intended) to go kill people (either us or anyone else who has done it) wouldn’t withstand legal scrutiny. But if you believe in the concept of “just war,” there is a difference between defending your country/sovereignty/human rights, etc. and getting “murdered if yer not from here of if you take part in an insurrection.” Most people would hold up US involvement in WWII as “just” and our involvement in Vietnam as the other. My .02, take it for what it’s worth.

          • WeaselPoo

            Youse guys are killing me with your civility and sensibility. Murderers! I’m all murdered now. Thanks a bunch!

  • Donkey Option

    It is an easy promise to make. Trump will never be elected, so this will be a complete non-issue.

  • Anna Rompage

    “I’m confident you would join me in the resistance movement and help kill
    any leader that exhibited genuine animosity toward people because of
    their genitalia, sexual preference, or skin pigmentation.’

    Um, seeing that the GOP is the party of trans/racial/homophobia, why hasn’t this guy already taken up arms against his party?

    • Boscoe

      Either that or he’s just exposed that all their ugly racist/sexist/homophobic posturing isn’t “genuine”.

  • Loki1001

    So “Democrat” means “black people?”

    • Jennaratrix

      Yeah, that wasn’t even subtle.

  • therblig

    didn’t he learn anything from trump – you never reveal your attack plans.

  • shivaskeeper

    Ah, no one as tough and ready to react as a keyboard warrior. I for one sleep better at night knowing they are out there keeping me safe or something.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Believe me, keyboard warrioring is much more comfortable than freezing your ass off in the Hohe Rhön or along the Korean DMZ.

      • shivaskeeper

        IKR, although I hear it can get sort of clammy in the basement.I am in awe of their ability to embrace the suck.

        Edit to add: bigly

        Edit because auto-correct.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    If you are a Republican gun-owner, and you value the principles of the Constitution, I’m confident you would join me in the resistance movement and help kill any leader that exhibited genuine animosity toward people because of their genitalia, sexual preference, or skin pigmentation.

    In other words, I’m willing to bet my life that the “monster” view of Trump is an illusion.

    So, walk me through this. Scott Adams is a real decent guy who is appalled by racism and misogyny and homophobia. He’s planning to vote for the guy running on a platform of racism, misogyny, and homophobia, who is promising to enshrine those things in our laws with an activist Supreme Court pick.

    Improbably, it turns out that his candidate is actually a racist and a misogynist who doesn’t give a shit about LGTB rights. Even more improbably, he manages to prove this to Scott Adams’ satisfaction, since his open, proud expression of all these things has been a centerpiece of his campaign so far and Adams hasn’t twigged yet.

    If that were to happen, Scott Adams is so damn sure that all the other people who voted for the candidate who promised them they were moving forward into the twelfth century with him would be appalled to discover that he’s doing exactly what they elected him to do, and they’re going to rise up and bear arms against… actually pretty much every armed american citizen in uniform.

    And if it works and they mow down all of our brave men and women in law enforcement and military service and assassinate Trump, we get Mike Pence, who holds even more reactionary views than Trump does.

    It sounds as though there are quite a few lives ol’ Scott is willing to toss on the line before his own.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      AOT, K.

    • OddMan

      Well said, Carpe. This⇈ is one of the reasons I read Wonk every day.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        :)

    • AJ Milne

      That, and I figure, even if he _did_, somehow, finally spot what a horror he’d supported somehow _after_ years of damage, _and_ actually address it (hah) in the ever so sensible fashion he proposes here, I figure a fight between the US military and a dumbass, pinhead cartoonist would probably make Bambi vs. Godzilla seem pretty evenly matched, by comparison…

      Thus making the likely arc of this thing, roughly: 1) miserable, racist regime, 2) brief splorching sound, in which cartoonist is ground unceremoniously into carpet, 3) more of 1)…

      So. Scott. I know you’re among the dumbest fucknuggets who ever lived to publish forgettable pulp, but may I suggest _not_ _voting_ for the tyrant in the first place, apart from being a vastly less bloody proposition generally, and generally the whole damn point of having ballots, also relatively plays to your personal strengths. Such as they are.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Besides, you know what would be a great way for him to prove what a secret moderate he is? He could accept the will of the people and stand aside when he loses.

        • CultOfReason

          Except, now in his latest post, he’s encouraging Trump supporters to use hyper-persuasion skills to suppress the democratic vote.

  • chortlingdingo

    I’m mostly taken aback by the “Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense” claim. What what WHAAAAT??

    • Lee Hillhouse

      ….and their sporting includes shooting rhinos and elephants and leopards… God I hate rightwingers…..

  • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

    “As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.”

    Is that the version of self-defense where you have the right to an unlicensed machine gun to defend yourself from the cops who are trying to arrest you for having an unlicensed machine gun?

    Also: who wants to go do some crimes with me after work?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Just don’t be blah in the same zip code as some cranky white guy with an unlicensed machine gun is what I’m saying.

  • Ilgattomorte

    Well, I’d like to say that if we elect Hillary Clinton president and she turns out to be a dominating, lesbian, nasty woman, then I, and I’m sure other patriotic American Democrats, will join together to use our man-wiles to turn her straight and improve her temperament.

    You see in my experience, Republicans use their genitals to secretly engage with young boys, or have illicit foot-tapping sex in airport men’s rooms, while Democrats use their manhood in open honest ways that other people find appealing and therefore, more attractive. We shouldn’t have any problem making Hillary less edgy.

    I think it was Patrick Henry who said, “Sometimes the tree of crankiness needs to be watered with the penis of democracy” … or something like that.

    • OddMan

      Patrick Henry was an eloquent bastard wasn’t he.

  • zerosumgame0005

    but but but,,,if Scott just announced this doesn’t that mean if Humpty Trump is “elected” that anyone associating with Dilbert-boy is part of the resistance thereby giving away the bigly plot?

  • I know people like Adams take a rather…broad…view of the Second Amendment, but how in the world do they think it authorizes assassinating duly elected representatives or armed rebellion against the government (i.e. itself)?

    • Gentle Robot

      It’s a pretty old premise that the bill of rights is a license to overthrow a tyrannical government that would probably get rid of the bill of rights pretty quickly

      • So this is like Star Wars Episode 1 where the Trade Federation needed the queen of Naboo to sign a document making their invasion legal.

        • Gentle Robot

          I think it’s more like Star Wars Episode 3 where they said Jedi couldn’t get married but Force powers were genetic

    • Serai 1

      Wonder if he’ll be getting a visit from the Secret Service?

  • AJ Milne

    Scott Adams. Cartoonist…

    … in defence of his ability: generally, you _do_ laugh at him. Just possibly not the way he intends.

  • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

    “As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.”

    Jeebus – apparently Adams is buying generalizations in bulk. That’s a yuuuuge one. Totally unsupported, but that goes without saying with this nut bag.

    • Serai 1

      I think the word you’re looking for is “lie”.

      *checks dictionary*

      Yep, that’s the one.

      • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

        Whoops, my bad. Still on coffee #1 – vocab very limited at this stage in day.

  • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

    “Adams’s point, such as it is, is that Trump is not Hitler, therefore he won’t have to kill Hitler at all.”

    Gotta disagree with you Evan (a sin I know). You ask me that paragraph you quoted sounds more like, “hey guys, if Trump was bad I’d help you kill him, so won’t you do the same if Hitlery turns about to be as Hitler as I say she will be.”
    (Dear secret service, this was an interpretation of someone else’s words, please no need for visits).

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      That’s the way I read it too, also. This guy is really just horrible.

    • Edita Espinosa (Edith Prickly)

      What did Hillary ever do to him anyway – send him a V-neck sweater or something? What a nutjob.

      • DeplorableTXTacoTruckofDoom

        worse…turtleneck!

  • chicken thief

    “As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.”

    Ya, I say that all the time also too!

    ~ George Z

    • Longstreet63

      Sometimes both at once, eh, George?

  • chicken thief

    Skinny old out-of-shape white dude with a gut thinks he’s Rambo. Must be a day ending with a ‘y’….

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Scott, you are free to gamble with your vote and life, not with mine. Fuck you, I’m with her.

  • ken_kukec

    Because assassinating the original Hitler turned out to be so easy to do.

    • Longstreet63

      Obama could have done it, but refused! And laughed about it! While kicking FDR in his chair!

    • Roadstergal

      The story of the various assassination attempts and how they all didn’t work out would read like the blackest of comedies, if not for, well, the Holocaust.

      If I were tempted to believe in some sort of god, all I’d have to do would be to look at how easy it would have been to just let one of the attempts come off.

  • WeaselPoo

    I think you all are missing the dog-whistles and ambiguities in Adams’ declarations:

    One:

    I hope my fellow citizens would use their Second Amendment rights to rise up and help me kill any Hitler-type person who rose to the top job in this country, no matter who it is.

    So, that includes ‘Hitlery’ Clinton.

    Two:

    As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.

    Therefore Democrats are criminals, and all criminals deserve to be shot and killed. ‘Killary’ Clinton is the worst criminal ever according to 30 years of Right Wing bullshit, and that a self self-defense argument can keep a gun toting Republican out of jail if they kill someone who they decide looks so very criminal and scary they must be stopped with a bullet before they do their hippity-hoppity criming ( see Zimmerman vs Skittles)

    Three:

    I’m confident you would join me in the resistance movement and help kill any leader that exhibited genuine animosity toward people because of their genitalia, sexual preference, or skin pigmentation

    White men have genitals and prefer sex of all sorts. Lesbians and gays are ALL Democrats of course, and hate straight white males, as does Hillary of course, who personally killed Vince Foster and only loves Huma Abedin.

    So, lurking in the shadows of his evident bullshit, lies a threatening license to kill, being offered to those primed to listen for it.

    • Longstreet63

      I wonder sometimes how long the Right Wing nut jobs can keep it up with the Hillary slander. Even the Soviets finally gave up the whole scam after awhile. But I suppose some of these guys will be gasping out this stuff on their deathbeds, like some poor old crank still insisting that Ike was a communist spy…to people who barely remember who he was and what that was.

      • Bemused

        It’s been 25 years so far and I don’t see them slowing down any.

      • Edita Espinosa (Edith Prickly)

        As long as the wingnut welfare bucks keeping rolling in, they’ll keep cranking it out.

    • Edita Espinosa (Edith Prickly)

      I picked up the racism in “Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes” (because according to Republilogic blah people are the worst crimers and they intend to vote for HIllary in droves) but I missed the bigger message. Yikes.

    • revenant

      well done- this is exactly what he is saying while trying to pretend he’s not.

      okay Dilbert Douche- you have just crossed the line between “unfunny crank” to “promoter of terrorism”.

  • Boscoe

    So the “moral” of the story is: 2nd amendment = CONSTITUTION IS IMPORTANT!!!1!1, 1st amendment = meh, I’ll still vote for him even though he wants to rape that one.

    Also too, Dilbert Douche is happy to let random armed Americans make the determination of who needs to die. Why isn’t he in jail?

  • Reximus
    • revenant

      yes, Dilbert douche- and that political movement is the very one you have elected to align yourself with. when even conservative economists say that your would-be fuhrer’s economic plans make no sense but you Trumpanpzees still want to try them, just who is the “ignorant” party to this argument? need a hint?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah … but we don’t JOIN it, you nincompoop.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    It’s a good thing the Second Amendment doesn’t apply to the US Army, Navy, Marines, or Air Force. If those guys had guns, whoever controlled them would be practically impossible for a gang of peasants and cartoonists to remove from power.

    • Longstreet63

      Like all right wing revolutionaries, they believe the soldiers will join them rather than open fire.
      This seldom happens, although it has happened several times for left wing revolutions.
      Of course, the interesting part of having a long term professional military like we do these days, is that such organizations tend to shoot whoever the boss says. Conscripts could often be counted on to revolt.

  • alnnc

    As I often say, Scott Adams is a dickhead. Well, I don’t say it often. In fact, this is the first time. But it sounds good. So I might start saying it more.

  • Jennaratrix

    What am I if I don’t use a gun at all? WHAT AM I, WEIRD DILBERT GUY! I need someone to classify me, someone who writes unfunny comic strips to slam me into a ridiculous pigeonhole. WHO AM I?

    • Gentle Robot

      Responsible? Brave?

      • Jennaratrix

        I’ll go with responsible, because I am a total chickenshit.

        • Gentle Robot

          Not scared enough to want a gun

          • Jennaratrix

            Let’s pray (or whatever you do in lieu of) that I never am. I’m my own best argument for gun control.

          • Gentle Robot

            I’ll pray but I’m keeping my eyes open. I don’t want anyone pinching me.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “And anyway, Donald Trump can’t ever be Hitler, cuz he’s not an artist and he’s not a vegetarian.”

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The words “ignorant fuckstick” get thrown around alot these days . . . .

  • BrianW

    It seems to me that the (rapidly becoming) traditional Wonkette article ending, “Oh and fuck that guy.” is not only missing here, but weirdly appropriate for everyone the article discusses.

  • Longstreet63

    I’m not a lawyer, but I’m not certain that this is an enforceable contract…

  • fishskicanoe

    “As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes.”

    Does Dilbert Guy even know any Democrats? Or is he too scared?

    • KMTBERRY

      By “Democrats” he means “Blah”s.

    • Debbies are like taco trucks

      Just a wild guess here, but I’m thinking most “criminals” aren’t card-carrying members of any political party.

    • Roadstergal

      Wasn’t he on Bill Maher’s show recently?

  • Somehow, this does not make me feel safer about the possibility of TrumpHitler. It just makes me feel a little afraid of weirdo Dilbert dude.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Hey, us Democrats don’t need no stinkin’ guns to commit crimes. We got the power of the Illuminati.

  • JohnE_o

    In his most recent column, Scott suggests some Master of Persuasion Hypno Mind Control techniques for suppressing the Democratic vote.

    He inspired me to get up and early vote during lunch, because – fuck that guy.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Use a condom.

  • anon_the_great

    ‘Cept metrosexual moran Adams wouldn’t know the working end of a gun from his butthole.

  • ChynnaBlue

    Seems to me it’s easier to just not elect the guy who might become Hitler and head it off at the pass so that you don’t need to shoot anyone, but okay. I’m so disappointed that Scott Adams is a complete and total asshole.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Yeah, I actually *gulp* like the Dilbert strip. It’s like finding out Charles Schulz was a closet Stalinist.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Coming soon: hilarious references to the Secret Service in his Dilbert comic strip.

    • tihond

      But it’ll be like the Mecret Mervice.

  • Michael Smith

    But what about in 1776 when our Founding Fathers assassinated King George III?

    • tihond

      They’ll be back!

  • Brent

    Wasn’t he just being ironic?

  • jmk

    “As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.”

    Do you say that, Scottie? Do you say that often? Well, how very… bigoted of you.

    Now I TOTALLY want to trust Scott Adams’ judgment as to whether Drumpflethinskin is being a racist or sexist or whatever.

    What an asshole this guy is.

    • Doug Langley

      Umm . . . what exactly are these “self defense” cases he refers to?

      • jmk

        The Zim springs to mind.

    • Grokenstein

      Man I’d love to see a citation for that statement.

      On the bright side, he just threatened to kill their idol. Maybe he’ll get an opportunity to demonstrate his gunkata skills in self-defense.

      • brucej

        Man I’d love to see a citation for that statement.

        Nah man, you wouldn’t, considering it’s all brown and stinky from whence it was pulled.

      • Vagandarian the Librarian!

        I’m betting Mr. Adams thinks killing Trump is the same as when Trump said he could shoot anyone and the world and still vote him in. No one loves you that much, if at all, Mr. Adams.

  • Jim Johnson

    What a basket case! He belongs there with the other deplorables.

  • edith prickly

    Scott Adams joining a resistance movement? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The only movement would be in his bowels if Scottie was ever handed a gun and told to use it.

    Stick to drawing unfunny cartoons and rickrolling your dwindling readership to your absurd blog, Scott.

  • Alan
    • phoenix00

      SOON

  • Cool_North
    • Swampgas_Man

      Not “creep” so much as “schmuck”.

  • Don Gwinn

    Remember when George W. Bush signed McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform? Putting your own personal opinion of that legislation aside, I recall great outrage among right-wing enthusiasts I knew (mostly gun-rights people.) Does anybody remember Dubya’s excuse for signing this thing that his base hated?

    He said he thought it wasn’t worth fighting any veto battles over because after he signed it, the Supreme Court would strike it down, because it was clearly unconstitutional.

    Same basic idea, I guess. Let’s just elect the nationalist who courted white supremacists and then if it turns out he wasn’t just fucking with us, we’ll just sassinate him and that will undo the damage done. Way too much trouble to just vote for the other lady.

  • Jgb979

    He should be in the process of sending out thank you notes to the Donald.

    2016 is the first time I’ve paid attention to Scott Adams since 1997

  • OneYieldRegular

    If only Scott Adams had been around in 1933 to help the resistance prevent Hitler from becoming even remotely like Hitler. That would have saved everybody a lot of bother, including the 11 million who died in the camps and the 60-70 million others who died because of the war.

    Oh well.

  • whitroth

    Geez, can I sue *him* for slander?

    “Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense.”

    So, he’s claiming that the Bundy Dildonians were Democrats?

    And was whatsername, the attractive gun proponent, whose 4-yr-old shot her in the back, that the kid’s a Democrat?

    I’ve mostly stopped reading this asshole. AND he’s a sudden Calafornian, who hates corduroy, too.

    • MC Planck

      To be fair, the Bundy crew didn’t actually use guns… they just sort of played with them. But when the shooting started, all but the crazy guy couldn’t surrender fast enough.

      • whitroth

        True… but they were there well-armed, and brandishing weapons (gee, that might even constitute assault with a deadly weapon (assault means threatening; battery or whatever means doing the attack).

  • bookish

    Pale pencil neck sez what?

  • JHan

    … From the same guy who blamed terrorism on women who don’t give up the pussy to terrorists.

  • beavertank

    I always thought it was about sewing the testes of tyrants, not watering with blood… That one’s just weird.

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    “As I often say, Democrats generally use guns to commit crimes. Republican use guns for sport and for self-defense”. Even if you say it often, it doesn’t help make it true; Even if you say it often, it doesn’t help make it true; Even if you say it often, it doesn’t help make it true……

  • Parakeetist

    This guy. Crimony.

  • mml1996

    Pasty little MRA says what…?

    • Greyhame

      He must be into some bizarre Rule34 stuff to be finding Trump attractive.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Democrats use guns to commit crimes. I’d use mine to assassinate the President.”
    Because when has Sic semper tyrannis! ever been a bad thing?

  • boll ocks

    Jesus Christ, this guy has gone off the deep end.

  • texasace00

    If anything, the GOP is consistent…everyday another crazy comes slithering out the glory hole, just a little bit more bing-bong than the last one

  • Greyhame

    No one ever goes back in time to assassinate Hitler AFTER he’s ascended to power and starts wiping out millions of people, these intrepid time travelers always make sure to whack him early in life, when he was still vulnerable.

    • handyhippie65

      nope. first rule of time travel, don’t go back in time to assassinate hitler. even though an evil a puddle of dick spit as he may deserve it, it would set back the technological progress of humanity centuries.take a moment to think of all the things that are a direct result of the need to defeat him. computers, spacecraft, medical advances, cell phones, the list goes on, and on.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Germany would have still gone to war eventually in the 1930s. Adolph was riding a wave of “it was all rigged” sentiment. There would have been someone leading the pack.

  • HazooToo

    why the fuck does he have to be such a self-important awful little shit, all of my childhood favorite people are either dying or turning into disgusting assholes! God, I will trade Scott Adams for David Bowie, please!

    • Maybe

      And that goes even with Bowie dead.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Hey clear off all you jackals, the man has a PhD in persuasion and he knows the Nazi-lite childish man baby is the best persuader EVAH.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I’ll have to double-check the collected works of William L. Shirer but I don’t recall an instance when a cartoonist got close enough to Hitler to playfully pull his mustache, let alone kill him.

  • MC Planck

    I make a point of separating the artist from his work. I made a point of not reading Adam’s psychotic blog. But Adams crossed the line a few weeks ago, and I’ve stopped reading Dilbert. I just can’t enjoy it anymore, knowing what I know about Adams.

    • Manhattan123

      Same. I can’t watch reruns of “Joanie Loves Chachi” any more.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Hah!

        I never watched Joanie Loves Numbnuts in the first place but I do find it hard to reconcile Jon Voight’s performance in Midnight Cowboy with the real Jon Voight. He seemed like such a decent human being in the movie.

        Seeing the film again, I keep waiting for him to hand out Trump literature to John McGiver, who recoils in horror.

  • dshwa

    What even the fuck is that?

    Does Adams know that he’s voting for a guy who is the Pointy Haired Boss for president? Or has that Irony escaped him?

  • CATMAN

    Re: Adams calling Trump “handsome”–I have learned that the attractiveness of an older man by a younger woman is directly proportional to the man’s net worth. That leaves my struggling to live off Social Security ass seriously out in the cold in the trophy wife competition

    • Maybe

      You wouldn’t want Melania anyway.

  • Bad Tom

    A number of people did try to kill Hitler after he started acting like Hitler.
    It did not go well for them.

    And now the government has drones.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I just read a book about one of those early plots. Not only did it not succeed but the participants were buried so deep by the Nazis that they didn’t even get postwar credit for giving it the old college try,

      This whole up-rise against dictators stuff is harder than it may look from the sidelines.

      • Bad Tom

        Exacto.

  • Greg Comlish

    Who is Scott’s argument supposed to convince?

    “Scott Adams, the dickless comics author, swore that he would assassinate Trump Hitler if need be, so that clinches my vote. That’s basically a money-back guarantee right there. Besides, I don’t see any libs offering to assassinate Hillary Hitler. Just goes to show that libs love Hitler. Scott Adams hates Hitler and he’s made the chicken shit internet blog posts to prove it.”

  • Bigly_Gnome

    I blame Reagan for all of this. He was the principal player in gutting mental health funding and turning all these people out on the street. Now, we have one of them running for President and another planning to kill him (not really easy to do) if he goes the Hitler-lite route.

    It would be so nice if we, as a nation, could give these poor souls the help they so desperately need.

    • definitely Reagan. My campus was 5 miles from a VA Medical Center, and sometime during 1983-85 we were inundated by crazies (not that there’s anything wrong with that – the crazy I mean, not the inundation part).

      It will be decades before this country considers mental health to be as important as the ability to chop logs & work a lathe for hours at a time. Except no one chops logs or uses a lathe that much anymore.

      Anarchy was supposed to be a good thing according to the theorists, but the american experiment in not governing does not seem to be producing the expected results.

  • phoenix00

    Dilbert’s interactions with his PHB just got aaaaawkward.

  • At the corner, turn left

    Well, Scott’s right about one thing: I use my many shooty things to commit crimes every day. Umm…wait, wait ::shakes head violently:: Damn you trained hypnotist Scott Adams, you made me think I had shooty things to commit Democrat crimes. I hate guns and think you are A Idiot. Please stop trying to convince sane people that you know anything of consequence, because you don’t.

    • Maybe

      I have a hunch that when Adams referred to Dems using guns to commit crimes he was covertly referring to Dems with brown shades of skin. Which is what Trump supporters believe.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    It will be interesting to see if Adams sees a drop in his syndication rates – publishers will be getting a lot of letters asking for Dilbert to be dropped.
    I’m pretty sure Gary Trudeau got similar flak from wingnuts over Doonesbury, but I don’t know how much that cost him.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “First they came for the international bankers, and I said nothing, because fuck those guys.”
    – Scott Adams, in the alternative universe where Trump got elected.

  • byobg

    I think this is Adams’s “pivot.” His “plan,” I suspect, is to say increasingly crazy things until he can plausibly claim that the whole thing (including his make-believe support of Trump in the first place) was just a troll, or a thought experiment, or whatever.

    In “Gamergate” terms (which, if you’re not familiar, don’t bother), he’s trying to be a Sad Puppy instead of a Rabid Puppy.

  • fka_donnie_d

    So, let me get this straight.

    The founding fathers, whom you admire as paragons of civic virtue, went to all the trouble of debating, writing and ratifying a constitution. Then they added a footnote saying, “by the way, if you don’t like the way things are going feel free to come out guns blazing”.

    Does that just about cover it?

  • E.A. Blair

    If he gets arrested for this and gets thrown in solitary, at least we won’t have to put up with his shit anymore.

  • Maybe

    Huh. I didn’t realize Adams was that crazy. It’s sort of sad. I used to enjoy Dilbert.

    • TheBoatDude

      About 10 years ago, Dilbert went down the path of Garfield, Cathy, Peanuts and Family Circus: Unfunny, yet permanently on the funny pages…

  • EricPoole

    Trump inauguration +5: Trump begins deporting Mexicans, and their children born in this country (who are, you know, U.S. CITIZENS!)

    Scott Adams: “Not Hitler.”

    Trump inauguration +50: Federal authorities begin sending Muslims into prison camps run by Joe Arpaio.

    Scott Adams: “Still not Hitler.”

    Trump inauguration +100: Paramilitary squads led by Scott Lively begin herding homosexuals and transgender people into hospitals for mandatory conversion treatment.

    Scott Adams: “Still not Hitler.”

    Trump inauguration +125: Attorney General Rudolph Giuliani mandates law enforcement officers use the “Stop and Frisk” procedure, now adapted as “Stop and Frisk and Shoot.”

    Scott Adams: “Still not Hitler.”

    Trump inauguration +150: Trump issues an executive order mandating that only white males can be registered voters.

    Scott Adams: “Still not Hitler.”

    Trump inauguration +200: Trump issues an order declaring February 1 as mandatory “Grab them by the p^$$#” Day.

    Scott Adams: “Still not Hitler.”

    Trump inauguration +250: Trump compiles enemies list and send hit squads to liquidate those on the list.

    Scott Adams: “That’s Stalin. Still not Hitler.”

    Trump inauguration +300: Trump marches homosexuals, Mexicans and any black people who have survived “Stop and Frisk and Shoot” into camps. Those young and healthy are put to forced labor. Those unable to withstand physical work are executed.

    Scott Adams: “Nope. Still not Hitler.

  • James Ratliff

    Dilbert really is an idiot!

  • DaveM

    It seems Adams’ elevator does not only not go all the way to the top it appears it got stuck at the basement level.

Previous articleLinguists: Trump Is Saying ‘Big League,’ Not ‘Bigly,’ Still Stupid Either Way
Next articleIn Very Own Gettysburg Address, Donald Trump Ends Groping Controversy By Promising To Sue Everybody