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The one on the left looks awful familiar for some reason
The one on the left looks awful familiar for some reason

Rand Paul is this guy who ran for president, we hear, although frankly we have no distinct impression of him anymore. We remember a blur of faces and yelling, and that’s about it. He’s one of the ones who lost, big-league. God, that was way back in February. We were so young then. Paul didn’t even stay in the presidential race long enough to compete in the Kentucky Republican Presidential Caucus, the event he talked Kentucky Republicans into creating so he wouldn’t run afoul of a state law prohibiting anyone from appearing on primary ballots for two different offices. We’d review some smile-time funtimes moments from his ill-considered presidential run, but Evan already did that when Paul quit, and for godssake nobody wants to think about that again, do they? On the other hand, we are obliged to mention Rand Paul is a board-certified ophthalmologist, if you count being certified by a board you made up yourself. That’s mandatory, duh.

So unlike most of our Senate Sunday profiles where we look back at a candidate’s bleak history as archived by Wonkette, for Rand Paul it’s simply too much dumb to cover in a single piece, and we are also very much aware that you may be eating breakfast. Sure, we could rehash things like that weirdass time Rand Paul and some Baylor buddies sort of kidnapped a gal he was on the swim team with and tried to make her do bong hits for Aqua Buddha, although she clarified later it was more of a Pothead LARP thing, and could you please just not reveal her identity because she is a real clinical psychologist who actually does have a real certificate and stuff. But we won’t rehash that. Or his strange flip-flops on using drones against Americans. Not to mention his weird habit of plagiarizing from Wikipedia. And we certainly wouldn’t mention his disgusting opposition to granting refugee status to Iraqis who helped the USA during our little war in their country, because after all, we won and Iraq is free now, so why would they be refugees anyway?

So we figure you know who Rand Paul is, already, is what we’re saying. In case you need a reminder, the WonkArchives are full of Rand Paul stories, and we must also remind you of Charlie Pierce’s Five Minute Rule:

[Any] member of the Paul family will make sense on any political issue for exactly five minutes. Precisely at the 5:00:01 mark, however, he will say something so far off the rails that you will find yourself looking at him as though he has sprouted a reptilian head out of his sternum. This may include Crazy Uncle Liberty (!)’s discussion of economic problems that suddenly veers into goldbuggery, or Aqua Buddha’s concern over government overreach that gets him crossways with the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

There is one thing about Rand Paul’s presidential run that does deserve attention, however, and that’s that the big stupidhead blew through most of his Senate re-election fund while failing to get beyond the Iowa caucuses, a fact we find almost endlessly amusing.

Paul’s profligate and futile spending in the presidential race was fine news for Democrat Jim Gray, the mayor of Lexington, who out-fundraised Paul over the summer, ha! ha! ha! And while Paul is still very much favored to beat Grey, throwing all that perfectly good Senate-reelection money into a failed presidential bid has to hurt at some level — we imagine Rand Paul tossing and turning as he dreams he is being chastised by the ghost of Ayn Rand, after whom he is definitely not named. Or maybe the Objectivist harpy would praise him for doing what he damn well pleased with contributors’ money; we don’t want to know what Rand Paul dreams of. (Do Randroids Dream of Electric Sheeple?)

In states that are less deep-red than Kentucky, Jim Gray might have a much stronger likelihood of making it into the Senate, but there’s that “D” following his name on the ballot, and that’s a problem — Kentucky hasn’t sent a Democrat to the Senate since 1992, when it elected Wendell Ford to his fourth and final term.

If he managed to pull off a win, Gray would become only the second openly gay member of the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body. And here’s the cool thing: apart from the obligatory mention in news stories, Gray’s sexuality doesn’t appear to be an issue in the election at all — probably more because Paul is seen as having the advantage anyway. Roll Call did a whole article on the non-controversial nature of Gray’s being a homosexxican, quoting one of Gray’s own advisers saying, “I’m constantly surprised by what a non-issue this has become.” And Paul himself told Cincinnati.com he didn’t see any reason to make it an issue, either:

“From my perspective, I’m going to run on the things I’m for[:] limited government, the Constitution, a balanced budget,” Paul said. “I think those are enough.”

That’s either very decent of him, a reflection of the fact that the race hasn’t become close enough to get any mileage out of scaring the religious right, or simply the fact that Rand Paul says “limited government, the Constitution, a balanced budget” when you press a button on the back of his neck.

Gray’s campaign has taken a typical strategy for an underdog taking on an opponent who’s made himself a national figure: arguing that Rand Paul is far more interested in his presidential ambitions than in representing the home state. At the annual “Fancy Farm picnic” in August, the state’s weirdly named festival of trying to shout down anyone on stage, Gray’s greatly outnumbered supporters waved “Rand Paul 2020” t-shirts and Gray said, “Rand and I have the same goal: to get him out of the Senate[.]” A statement on his latest campaign fund-raising, which actually was higher than Paul’s, although Paul has outspent Gray in total, emphasized Paul’s national ambitions as well. Spokesperson Cathy Lindsey said,

We continue to outperform Rand Paul, an incumbent U.S. Senator with a national fundraising network from his first failed presidential campaign. Jim Gray will have the resources he needs to win and give Rand Paul lots of free time to plan his next presidential campaign.

There may have been a neener-neener in there, too. Predictably enough, the Paul campaign has mostly focused on associating Gray with Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, which may be all the demonizing they need to do to win in Kentucky. Please feel free to sigh.

On issues, Gray goes for good safe red-state Democratic stuff: job creation, improving infrastructure to drive jobs and manufacturing, raising the minimum wage and pushing for wage equality. In contrast to Donald Trump, he’s not pretending he can wave a magic wand and resurrect the coal industry; instead, he’s calling for helping coal country shift to more diversified industries that, as a happy side benefit, won’t give workers black lung disease (he doesn’t say that, but it’s true). He also thinks it would be nifty if Kentucky could become a major innovator in Carbon Capture and Storage, which sounds to us like “clean coal” hooey, but hey, if the emphasis is on reducing carbon emissions from a fossil fuel that is carbon, go for it. And of course he’s big on worker retraining, for the jobs that don’t yet exist, but could, if Big Coal’s stranglehold on regional politics can be broken. And like any good Democrat, he’s for campaign finance reform.

The big unknown about the Kentucky race is just how awful Donald Trump manages to be in the final couple weeks of campaigning; while Trump is expected to win in Kentucky, there’s the outside chance he could alienate just enough people to give Gray a chance. Paul is doing everything he can to protect his built-in advantages; he’s only agreed to a single debate against Gray, to be held on Halloween, a mere week before the election. But even if Gray loses, he seems unlikely to simply fade away — he’s very popular in Lexington, and could use a “good” loss to Paul as a starting point for higher office, like maybe getting rid of that doofus Matt Bevin in the governorship. One can hope.

Also running is write-in candidate Billy Ray Wilson, who tried a previous hopeless bid for the House and hasn’t bothered changing his webpage from “Billy Ray Wilson for Congress” to “Billy Ray Wilson for Senate.” He’s worth checking out for the sheer batshit crazy perennial candidate stuff on his website, like his demand for George Bush and Dick Cheney to face an international tribunal for their crimes in rigging 9/11, and his diatribes about The Jews, who are apparently taking over, or already have. He wrote a book with the title “My Struggle,” which he speculates didn’t sell well at all simply because The Jews all deliberately conflated it with another book by that name. He adds, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world,

It is my opinion that no religion has the right of nationality. After all, religion is nothing but a belief. To this end, Jews in Germany were responsible for their own imprisonment and death camps.

Can’t imagine why he’s not getting any traction. Must be the Zionist controlled media. Oh, and he wants to abolish the Federal Reserve, but we bet we didn’t need to tell you that. He’s also a passionate defender of Internet Free Speech, which is nice, although we aren’t sure he “gets” the Internet — a recent blog post complains,

Over the past year, an agency called DNS have been censoring and editing my e-mail traffic overtly. For example, they system informs the user when they enter your system, they provide text messages such as “This document is locked for editing by another user” and delete at times two thousand or more words you spent hours writing plus at the bottom of the screen a boxed in W appears.

I went to the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) Office in London, KY and spoke with an agent and he assured me the disruptions weren’t by our government. I then went to the Windstream Office, Internet and Phone Provider which I made as Ass out of myself but later apologize and accepted plus send an e-mail to DNS without success. The monitoring and editing continues.

So somebody damn well better get that taken care of, since it seems unlikely the Jews will let him into the Senate where he can fix it.

In conclusion, we got through this whole piece on the Kentucky Senate race without accidentally typing “Tennessee” even once. You’re welcome.

Want to help Jim Gray fight the good (if under-publicized) fight? His ActBlue donation page is right here! You can also drop a few simoleons in the Wonkette Tip Jar, to help Yr Dok Zoom finish up our tour of all 34 U.S. Senate races in 2016. We’ll hit the final two next week, then give you a big wrapup the weekend before the election!

[Lexington Herald-Leader / Esquire /Cincinnati.com / Roll Call / Herald Leader]

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  • bubbuhh

    Rand Paul is a man with more than one weird trick, none of them sexy.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      But can he help you Fix Your Fatigue and Get More energy?

  • eggsacklywright

    Enough about Aqua Buddha. I want the scoop on Terra Buddha. Henngghh?

  • Barley_Brains

    Dok: PKD references always appreciated.

  • Joshua Norton

    Precisely at the 5:00:01 mark, however, he will say something so far off
    the rails that you will find yourself looking at him as though he has
    sprouted a reptilian head out of his sternum.

    Kinda makes you long for the carefree whimsy of William F Buckley, doesn’t it?

    • eggsacklywright

      Yeah. Old Mumbles was a hoot.

      • H0mer0

        and I mistook his reptilian head for his real one.

  • mailman27

    If somebody is attempting to edit Billy Ray’s e-mails, I wish them good luck and Godspeed.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Godwin!!!!

  • Shibusa
    • The Wanderer

      Wouldn’t that be “YouTube” comments?

    • janecita

      And if they were, they would become happy ponies, fluffy puppies and cuddly cats, because we are awesome people here:-)

  • bupkus23

    Is it really possible that the “DNS” That Billy Ray is referring to is anything other than Domain Name Service?

    If not, this guy is as ‘puter illiterate as all those right-wingers now complaining about ICANN. Despite my years as a software engineer, I admit that I’m not up on many of the more intricate nooks of the innertubes, but these people probably think the internal combustion engine works because of demons ( not daemons, demons ).

    I’m not an “early adopter”, either, but these fuckin’ Luddites need to be laughed out of the public eye….

  • Daisy

    *blinks* Well, Billy Ray would fit in just fine back at home.

    • Brian

      hey, been meaning to ask you if you’ve seen the PBS Hamilton special from Friday. If you haven’t you should, you’ll love it.

      • Daisy

        Unfortunately, not yet. :(

      • kareemachan

        It was marvelous!

  • Bub the Bad Zombre

    Oh, those glory days of February, when we began to realize that the Rethugs “deep bench” – that fabled lineup of political heavy hitters, that Murderer’s Row of steely-eyed examples of rock-ribbed conservatism – was, in fact, a fable, and that they were about to be crushed, routed and humiliated by a political neophyte with an acid tongue and an eye for the main chance.

    It all looks so different in retrospect. Now, we see Donald Trump exposed as the incompetent, ill-prepared buffoon he is, and his defeat of the embarrassing collection of the halt, the sick and the lame that the GOP coughed up like a hairball is more funny than impressive – like watching an enraged, screeching charwoman charging into a farmyard scattering panicked chickens with a wildly swung broom. The only question now remaining is which of those scattered chickens will manage to gather up the tattered scraps of their dignity and credibility to make a run in 2020.

    • The Wanderer

      Hopefully, NOT,K.

    • boyblue122

      you know Ted Cruz wants to be the repub nominee in 2020

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Jeebofascist shitstain Rafael will never advance beyond a Senate back bench.

        • Lord Jim McNasty

          But he’s still pulling the strings of the Freedumb Caucus. So he’s still a problem.

      • And when he tries the tapes of him cursing Trump and then phone banking for him will make an appearance.

    • BMW

      Their biggest names are all either failed VP candidates or Ted Cruz. I was thinking about the tough time Hillary will have winning a 4th election in a row for Democrats, butI also don’t see how Republicans can get their shit together by then.

      • Bub the Bad Zombre

        I agree. It should be a slam dunk. The legacy of this fiasco will haunt the Rethugs for years.

      • FlownOver

        Don’t kid yourself. Two more years of pronouncing “Hillary” with a sneer will probably cost D’s the Senate, and the two years of total gridlock after that will result in “crooked, incompetent Hillary.” Any Republican nominee that doesn’t commit rape on live teevee has a decent chance.

        • Good_Trouble_Yall

          And even then . . .
          (sigh)

        • BMW

          That’s what people said in 1994 when Republicans won Congress by denouncing Bill.

        • BMW

          That’s what a lot of people said in 1994 when Republicans were riding high on that anti-Clinton midterm wave. Of course we know how 1996 turned out for them.

          There’s no telling what the future holds.

    • DainBramage

      Let’s see.
      Huckabee and Santorum for sure – their whole schtick is the presidential run grift.
      Ted Cruz wants to see if there’s anyone else in America who hasn’t had a chance to wish him punched in the face.
      Rubio’s empty suit will make another bid, no matter what sounds emanate from it that seem to say it will spend all 6 years in the Senate, which it hates.
      Rand Paul, because objectively he cannot not run.
      Kasich, of course, though no one will notice.

      • Marion in Savannah

        “Objectively…” I see what you did there!

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        Don’t forget Pence, who will certainly run, and will certainly have Donald Trump stuffed so far up his ass the Cheeto will have to take a train back from Pence’s duodenum.

        • data_ninja

          I’d tack on Paul Ryan, who will resign/get booted from being the house speaker. He’ll want something to do, such as get sweet sweet presidential run grifting cash.

        • calliecallie

          It is depressing to think of this, but Carson and Fiorina could make a comeback, only because the GOP will be running against a woman president, and the one thing to their minds that can beat a woman is another woman or a blah. Or both. Maybe Condi Rice would run?

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Oh, I wouldn’t be surprised if some people talk to her about it, but honestly, I think the GWB stink will still be clinging to her, if only because he’ll still be the last R president. Also too, she has, just by existing, committed the cardinal sins of being not only a woman, and black, but educated. The spittle-flecked hatemongers of Trumpf world won’t like her one bit.

          • revenant

            What? when did iCarly change color?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Donald threw the base of racist, sexist, fascist scum precisely what they wanted in the way of red meat with no PC “dog whistles” that are designed to avoid poking the MSM out of its perpetual slumber. This was a violation of the Lee Atwater rule set that has governed GOP discourse for the last 30 years, and it threw the “deep bench” for a loop and they never recovered.

      • Bub the Bad Zombre

        Very true. I still can’t figure out why it took the MSM so long to wake up though.

        In his book “Danse Macabre”, Stephen King posits that the rise of a Hitler in modern times is impossible, that: “one good on the griddle session with Mike Wallace would have cooked Hitler’s goose quite effectively.”
        Based on what we’ve seen this year I don’t think that is the case – in fact, I think it’s pretty clear that if Trump had possessed Hitler’s oratorical and political gifts he might well have won the election.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Wednesday further reinforced my belief that Chris Wallace, as much as he looks like Mike, got his brains from somewhere else, because Villager Vermin think that the deficit and those terrible entitlement programs will destroy the country, not parasite assholes like Pete Peterson.

        • Lord Jim McNasty

          King seems to have assumed that people, generally speaking, are receptive to information that would debunk a blathering demagogue. Clearly, wrong.

    • lroom

      We were so innocent.

    • MasterDebaterBozi

      That Trump did become their candidate should forever disqualify the other candidates from running for President again. Let them find new faces to submit for our disapproval.

  • DainBramage

    Trump supporters too monolingual to know that “CONTRA” means “against.”
    https://twitter.com/cecicardelle/status/789588565604925441

    • janecita

      Thank God, that we are not like those Socialist Scandinavian countries, with their great public education, and multilingual people!

      • Regret

        There are lots and lots of non-Scandinavian countries with mediocre public education that are full of multilingual people too!

        • As we say in Texas, necessity is the mother of all invention.

    • Bub the Bad Zombre

      How wonderful it is to be blessed with stupid enemies.

      • DainBramage

        My theory is that they are unable to stare at a woman’s chest and read at the same time.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Some women give me that problem. A girl I dated in college was a tri-delt; a guy at a party looked at her wearing a tri-delt shirt, and said “that’s some set of deltas!”

          • calliecallie

            I hope there were not three of them.

          • msanthropesmr

            Eccentrica Gallumbits LIBELZ

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Why the hell not?

          • calliecallie

            It’s hard enough to find a good bra when you only have two.

          • Three tits! That’s awesome.

    • Khavrinen

      No Way! Every good Republican above a certain age remembers how Saint Ronnie ( hallowed be his name ) used the money from selling arms to Iran ( illegally, but it was Reagan so it doesn’t count ) to fund a bunch of “freedom fighters” in Nicaragua called “Contras.” Obviously, therefore, “contra” must be Spanish for “Republican”, right?

    • Brian

      The one good thing about taking Latin in high school is that there are a lot of languages that I don’t know but I can kind of figure out. Also too as an English speaking person I am aware the prefix CON means you are fucking against something! Trump supporters really are a special kind of stupid.

      • H0mer0

        akshully, “chile con carne” does not mean “chile against meat” so ‘con’text is important.

        • Yr. Gma

          Depends on who’s cooking.

        • calliecallie

          Continuously confusing.

        • Nasty Astraea

          It’s not being used as a prefix there, so that’s also too important.

        • That’s not a prefix that’s a word, a Spanish word, in fact, in a Spanish phrase used to promote the authenticity of a product to gringos or blue-eyed devils as I like to call us.

      • janecita

        Con means with. Contra, on the other hand means against.

      • Mickey Donovan

        As in CONservative?

      • You’d think that the Republicans could keep contra straight because of the Iran-Contra Affair or their support of the Contras in their stupid war against the Sandinistas.

    • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

      See? This is why we must insist that all people in our country speak ‘Murican, that way we know which people to throw out before the picture-taking starts.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Not the sharpest cucharas in the drawer, now are they?

      • janecita

        I’ve never seen a sharp cuchara, but they are definitely not the sharpest cuchillos.

    • FauxAntocles

      To be fair, she’s a pretty girl – I’d take a picture of her too.

    • Nockular cavity

      Ha!

    • Scooby

      I am now making a shirt “Pincha Bendejos for Trump”

    • That’s when you smile knowingly at the camera and cast just a bit of side eye.

    • Blackest Noobs

      mujer got it right, no more coddling the stupid….ella doubled down on it!

  • BMW

    Ok, but in fairness, Rand is only Kentucky’s second worst senator.

    • The Wanderer

      True, Yertle the Turtle is Worst.

  • The Wanderer
  • Stulexington

    I just can’t stop laughing at the idea that he thinks freedom of speech should allow him to edit someone else’s original work.

  • Bernarda Alba

    I wouldn’t let Rand Paul anywhere near my eyes.

  • FlemmishSpy
    • Mickey Donovan

      So, I assume you snort this stuff, right?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        It looks like the kind of slimy goo you’d want avoid even touching. As an old former ad man, I don’t think they’ve picked the right photo for their ad.

        • It’s actually aloe vera

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I figured that’s what it was, but it looks disgusting.

    • Khavrinen

      I keep wondering how long it’ll be until this shows up in one of the “Snake Oil” articles. I’m assuming they didn’t read any of those before sending their advertising dollars Wonkette’s way…

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      It comes out of corndogs. Try to keep up.

  • Marr

    Just to be picky, what else are comments for, Mr Wilson probably chose to call the website “Billy Ray Wilson for Congress” because it covers both the House of Representatives and the Senate. That way, no matter which one he tries to run for, he doesn’t need a new domain.

    • janecita

      I think that you might be giving Billy Ray too much credit.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Perhaps Billy Ray was one of Alex Jones’ padded cell mates before Jones escaped?

    • eggsacklywright

      It’s always Billy Ray or Billie Joe. Where’s Billy Dinesh? Billy Glenn? Billy George?

      • janecita

        What about Billy Bob?

        • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

          Ain’t he in that new series Goliath?

          • janecita

            Billy Bob Thornton is in a new show??? Is it any good?

          • eggsacklywright

            Loved him in Fargo.

          • janecita

            Me too, he was great in that show.

          • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

            Reviews are okay – the whole thing is on Amazon Video, and it’s a David E. Kelley production so I imagine if you liked “The Practice” or “Boston Legal” you might like it.
            The NYT had to issue a correction to their review ripping it as “over-complicated” when the reviewer realized he had watched the first two episodes in the wrong order.

      • Nasty Astraea
        • janecita

          Man, I love Green Day!!!

        • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

          Billy Joel, OTOH…

  • memzilla

    Tellingly, a googling of stupid Rand Paul returns 474,000 results, which beats out smart Rand Paul by 31,000 votes. “Rand Paul 2020” is just an opthamologist’s diagnosis.

    • H0mer0

      [u left out a “p” and an “l” in “ophthalmologist.” That’s okay though since it took me years to learn how to spell it, just like the extra consonants in “diphtheria.”

      • memzilla

        THANKS OBAMA.

      • Sure it’s not just your eyesight?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Rand Paul is a chip off the old block, and the old block is a rancid racist grifing sack of shit. The entire extended family is the stereotype traveling show ripoff artists.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Do Randroids Dream of Electric Sheeple?)

    Reader, I lol’d.

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    Dok wonders Do Randroids Dream of Electric Sheeple?. That made my day.

    http://i1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff391/WintersMagic/Harry%20Potter/applause-gif-tumblr-43_zps4e464b19.gif

  • limberrat

    So outside of IBD which is really questionable, we have an average of 9.8% clinton lead.
    https://twitter.com/Nate_Cohn/status/790183967907418112

    • boyblue122

      Is the IBD poll like the LA Times poll that uses the same people over and over again

      • limberrat

        Unsure of that. IBD is an notoriously conservative newspaper that likely doesn’t want to upset their readers.

        • boyblue122

          A good way to check their bias is to see what the IBD poll said after the Billy Buh tape came out.

          Trump was still ahead in the LA Times poll immediately after that tape was released

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Rand who?

    • eggsacklywright

      ♫ Aye, Rand so far away…♫

    • Marion in Savannah

      McNally?

      • OddMan

        Show us on the map where Mr. Rand touched you.

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

      Ayn no Rand around here.

      • Bad Hombre Ron

        ♫ Ayn no sunshine when she’s gone… ♫

        • John D. Wiser

          ♫ Ayn no sunshine WHERE she’s gone… ♫

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Dok it’s BIGLY, not big league and I should know. Losers say big league and I like winners.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Is it just me, or does anyone else think that, if Billy Ray non-commented on Wonkette, he’d be featured in Dok’s OTHER Sunday column?

    • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

      Oh, that would be so much fun!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Eh, maybe not. I read part of his website and he somehow manages to simultaneously be both crazy and boring.

  • Brian

    I’m gonna say I think Paul supporters and those anti-Hillary Bernie supporters are the same. I was living in Charlotte when that big Ron Paul wave hit in 2004. And many a Liberal person I knew were suddenly all in on Ron Paul. And I never could understand it. And, honestly, I am very pro-Libertarian except I believe the government should tax and help people – I also believe the government shouldn’t make any laws that restrict individual rights to do anything that doesn’t hurt anyone else. Problem is the Paul version of Libertarian (and the Gary Johnson version) is nothing like that. And I try to explain that to the liberal Libertarians but they keep saying, “but less government regulation.” And I can’t get them to understand they only mean regulation on businesses and they conveniently ignore the pro-life, anti-LGBT part of their platforms.

    • Parakeetist

      You sound way too reasonable.

    • Stulexington

      By means of an explanation, I too am a Ron Paul fan. I didn’t agree with anything he said, but I appreciated his consistency and general attitude. He was, and is the only Republican presidential candidate I have respected in the last 12 years.

      • Brian

        I can respect anyone who does hold consistent beliefs and who actually shows integrity. But if I don’t agree with those beliefs I ain’t voting for him.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Oh balls. I’m sorry but “libertarianism” is nothing but an infantile fantasy. Anyone who believes that it’s government overreach to, say, ensure that people aren’t arbitrarily turned away from hotels and restaurants because of the color of their skin is just a contemptible fool.

        • Loki1001

          My favorite is the people who claimed Jim Crow would have just ended on its own for economic reasons. Because it is not like business owners fought bitterly to keep those laws on the books and then fought bitterly against government intervention to ensure equal access.

          • Lord Jim McNasty

            Even Adam Smith realized that there is a disparity in power between employer and employee, so the govt should help redress that imbalance.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Libertarians are, at heart, neo-feudalists. They don’t like the idea of anyone but them having liberty.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Or just haven’t thought all the way through to the logical conclusion of their ideology.

            “First you legalize weed, then you banish the IRS…”

            [/Me, at 19]

        • Lord Jim McNasty

          I once told a small-government type that I thought a government not powerful enough to positively help its people wouldn’t be powerful enough to protect them from predation.

      • bubbuhh

        “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — ‘Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.’ — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

        Trump is very consistent. He lies and denies like clockwork. So, did Ron Paul.

        • Nasty Astraea

          Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes.

      • artem1s

        so sorry but he was never, ever running for President and just grifting off the goldbugs and bong boiz. and the anti-Semitic, new world order dog whistles? and repealing everything after the original 10 constitutional amendments? were you OK with that stuff?

        • Stulexington

          I didn’t get the impression he was running a scampaign and the fact that he got shut out by the establishment suggests they thought the same thing. In answer to your questions: did you read the part where I said I didn’t agree with anything he said?

    • I like the fact that the fourth party in Canada is a regional party! The bulk of whose platform is more in line with the communist party than anything else. But the rest of the country focuses on the “breaking up the country ” plank.

    • TJ Barke

      A thorough deconstruction of Right-Libertarianism/Anarcho-Capitalism(Which isn’t a real thing)
      http://infoshop.org/AnarchistFAQSectionF

      • Brian

        very much details and facts! Liberal Bias!

      • Lord Jim McNasty

        Unsurprisingly, Chomsky argued that right-wing “libertarianism” has “no objection to tyranny as long as it is private tyranny.” In fact it (like other contemporary ideologies) “reduce[s] to advocacy of one or another form of illegitimate authority, quite often real tyranny.” [Chomsky on Anarchism, p. 235 and p. 181]

        Good one.

        • I don’t agree with everything Chomsky says – and I think he would take such variance as complementary to me even if I am (in his opinion) wrong.

    • Loki1001

      The number of Bernie voters who decided to vote for Johnson… just shows that it was never about “the revolution” or “ideology” in the first place.

  • JVisconti

    Rand Paul, 1st place in the Kentucky Derpy and still running strong.

  • bubbuhh

    Turns out Trump assaulted all those women in self defense. They were gonna waterboard him, according ton Jan “Tanned Leather” Brewer

    https://youtu.be/INgUAcPix3w

    • Nasty Astraea

      God I hate it when I meet people and suddenly they’re trying to waterboard me.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        And you’re not even at the beach…

        • Nasty Astraea

          And I have no choice but to kiss them into submission!

      • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

        Without so much as a ‘mother, may I?’.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Two armed irony.

      1. Hyperbole about a candidate being waterboarded because folks question his behavior.

      2. Candidate and candidate supporter also support “waterboarding” and worse for “the Muslims”.

      It’s like they think projection is a feature and not a bug.

    • TheGrandWaz00

      Waterboarding/Swiftboating…what’s the diff?

    • Nockular cavity

      I think she meant Trump tried to motorboat them.

    • andyshelt
  • TheGrandWaz00

    Well, at least Paul resisted throwing that shade at Gray.

    • Serai 1

      I don’t think Paul has ever cared much about that, though I might be wrong.

  • gene108

    If I’m going for write-in candidate, it’ll be Joe Exotic. He at least cares for animals, in his own way.

  • weejee

    ♪ And there’s a backwards old town that’s often remembered
    So many times that my memories are worn ♪
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf3d0f2bb0c272cbd8e938b90f9e259468ae4bce6033a2a65869e1d4a98e652c.jpg

  • Loki1001

    Never hearing the names “Marco Rubio” or “Rand Paul” again would best November Surprise ever.

  • Shibusa

    https://www.epictimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/20150921-175336-4684.jpg
    If the Senate doesn’t work out, Rand can always be a pitch man for Hair Club for Men.

    • The Wanderer

      “I’m also a client.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      His attempt to get free media attention for the most ridiculous hair in the race was steamrolled by Trump.

  • ManchuCandidate

    That’s the Rand Paul dilemma… too crazy for the Senate, and not crazy enough for the GOPer Preznit Nom (or Kentucky.)

  • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

    This may include Crazy Uncle Liberty (!)’s discussion of economic problems that suddenly veers into goldbuggery,

    “I did not have sexual relations with that ingot.”

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Warning: no such thing as Gold viagra.

      “No matter how much your rub the golden cube, it will not grow” Warren Buffett.

  • Señor Taco Skwerl

    Oh hey, ballotpedia cites this article on Jewy McHaterson. Must be definitive.

    https://ballotpedia.org/wiki/images/thumb/5/5a/Billy_Ray_Wilson.jpg/200px-Billy_Ray_Wilson.jpg

    • TheGrandWaz00

      I wonder if he’d like a side of onions with those liver spots.

  • Brian

    OT: Everyone should watch last night’s Saturday Night Live. One of the best/funniest in years, because Tom Hanks is the best obviously. But I’m glad David S. Pumpkin isn’t running for President, he could win.

    • Joe Beese

      He’s been Jimmy Stewart for so long now that one forgets he started as a Bosom Buddy. He can do laughs.

      • Brian

        A) Nobody is Jimmy Stewart, greatest actor of all time!
        B) Turner and Hooch is comedic genius!

        • Also a pretty fair bomber pilot and squadron commander.

          • Brian

            The Ted Williams of Actors, ie: who John Wayne pretended to be.

  • bubbuhh

    Number Of Republicans Likely To Vote Drops By Nearly 20%
    Today’s ABC News/Washington Post, the one showing Hillary going high by 12%, has other goodies in it.

    “The previous ABC/Post poll found a sharp 12-point decline in enthusiasm for Trump among his supporters, almost exclusively among those who’d preferred a different GOP nominee. Intended participation now has followed: The share of registered Republicans who are likely to vote is down 7 points since mid-October.”

    http://www.politicususa.com/2016/10/23/democratic-wave-coming-number-republicans-vote-drops-20.html
    Good reading. Let’s hope the wave keeps building.?

  • Crank Tango

    How could we forget the Aqua Buddha?

    • Too many bong hits at college?

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        What were we talkin’ about?

      • bubbuhh

        Pretty certain he’s the biggest bonghitter in Congress. We don’t drug test our elected officials, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          You know, as long as they don’t spend all their time taking bong hits (looking at you, Gary Johnson) I don’t think this would be a problem. As long as they toke up responsibly, as in not hopping into OHJB’s Trans-Am and driving to Dulles after toking up.

      • gene108

        Is that even possible? How can you have too much of a good thing?

    • Msgr_Bad_Hombre
      • Crank Tango

        I feel like I’ve finally come home.

  • Msgr_Bad_Hombre

    Uh oh. Kellyanne is flirting with reality. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/10/23/donald-trumps-campaign-manager-admits-we-are-behind/ Donald Trump’s campaign manager admits: ‘We are behind’

    • Lord Jim McNasty

      You think reality would, I mean, look at her. Not a ten. Reality can do much better, believe me.

      • boyblue122

        Looks like the Trump campaign has aged her 10 years

        • So her pussy is probably safe

          • boyblue122

            doh

      • Courser

        She looks like she lives on a diet of straight meth and booze.

    • Joe Beese

      Conway said Trump is focused on winning Florida, Ohio, Iowa, North Carolina and, possibly, Nevada

      Focus hard.

      • boyblue122

        Throw in Arizona for good measure

        • Villago Delenda Est

          He needs to cut his losses in bleeding Texas, at this point.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Hillary is in the 21st Century…we are in the 11th. That is behind.”

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      That’s actually the Google Translate result for the Japanese version of “I am an ass”…

    • Jamoche

      Kellyanne “pivots” away from Trump’s threats to sue his accusers, and I’ve just realized why “pivot” seems like an odd word to me to describe sidestepping a question(*) – in Silicon Valley, it’s startup speak for “fuck, that idea is going down like a lead balloon. Time to do something completely different.” Usually with a side helping of “sorry you guys invested so much in something we aren’t gonna do (not!)”

      (*)Why, oh why, can I not find video of the “Sidestep” song from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas?)

    • phoenix00
  • Joe Beese
    • Duke

      So confusing. Her left is my right.

    • Lord Jim McNasty

      Taking her perspective into account – she’s pointing LEFT. Whoulda thunk it?

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Mirror libelz.

  • Brian

    I have to admit this year I realized I am a very big hypocrite. As a man who often lets his hair grow long, two haircuts a year tops, I never trust any man who comes on tv to seriously talk politics who’s hair is as long, or longer, than mine.

    • Courser

      I feel the same way about the majority of white people in my agegroup.

      • Gentle Robot

        thass pretty racist

        • Courser

          I guess. I’m a white person and sadly, old, white men seem to constantly want to tell me what to do and I don’t take well to that. Also, you need to visit my HellMart one of these Saturdays. The blahs, latinos, jews and muslims all seem to know how to get along and be civil. The white folks (of which I am one), not so much. Yestersday, a woman with about 6 teenagers in tow was having a committee meeting in each aisle to decide what they’d get. They got *VERY* huffy with me when I asked to pass.

        • Sister Artemis

          Racist? not so sure about that; there’s a definite streak of Obliviousness that runs through the folks who share my heritage(s)

  • Duke

    Two weeks and a couple of days.

    I am so sick of this election.

    • Courser

      Same here, except I am apparently a masochist because even though I voted this morning (Yaaaayyyy!), I keep reading all the things.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Aw, c’mon. You’re going to miss it when it’s all over. You’re going to have to get a life, somehow, to make up for the void it leaves.

      • Sister Artemis

        I, for one, am planning on catching up on that lengthy Netflix queue

      • Bub the Bad Zombre

        There must be a German word for the feeling it will leave us with. I propose this: “erleichtertfreudeleere” – relieved joyful emptiness.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Gesundheit!

        • OddMan

          Good word, I tried to learn German more than once but alas . . .
          Google translate would not recognise this word, but I have another ap that does and it says [facilitate-joy-empty]. Now I have to figure out how to say it. Third German word of the day around here.

      • Duke

        Less wondering how people can actually support Trump and, consequently, some uptick in faith in humankind.

      • Sedagive

        Holy crap – I’m just imagining the joys of running Hillary defense 24/7. Every single day will be a media whorgasm of Right Wing Pearl-Clutching. Every.single.day.for.years.and.years.

    • OddMan

      I hear you Mr. Duke. Feel the same here. The bigger problem is that Donald has opened the Pandora’s Box of real deplorable people. All the racists, misogynists, homophobes, gun nuts, men’s rights assholes, etc., all of them now think it ok and acceptable to openly address all their fears in public. It seems that one third of the US population has become a nation afraid of everything, as someone stated earlier the German word is Hosenscheißer (pants shitter). We are going to be fighting this right wing crap for fucking decades.
      Thank you GOP and a big Fuck You to Donald.

      • Duke

        My hope is that the Good People can really see who’s coming out of what holes and ignore them.

  • JVisconti

    Rand should consider following Henry Clay of KY by joining the Whig party, because that hair has to go.

    • bubbuhh

      Since it’s so curly, it probably will before he knows it.

      • JVisconti

        He has a black staffer go into L’ville to buy his jheri curl products I hear.

      • Courser

        Not necessarily. One of my bros has curly hair like that and at 55 still has a very full head of hair. Just like our great-Uncle Harry, whom he’s a dead-ringer for.

    • nastymagyar

      It’s already a wig.

  • eyelashviper

    Too good not to share, from a thread somewhere out there in the intertubes.
    Go Hillary, step on the gas!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1d33606381f4a6d60288d98126ffe92274293cdecdd631531f23be2d79ab5351.gif

    • The Wanderer

      A Googolplex of upfists for your generosity in sharing this lovely gif!

    • MizzMazz

      Haha, was just gonna post that. Brilliant!

    • Lord Jim McNasty

      The internet. U haz won it.

  • gene108

    Kentucky: Wished they could’ve joined the Confederacy, and trying to make up for it for 150 years.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Curt Schilling is joining Breitbart “News”

    • He can write? Nevermind…that’s not a requirement

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        I think his tiny press thingy where he did the “what’s wrong with the jews” was the job interview.

      • Loki1001

        Remember that really insightful and informative Breitbart article? Neither do I.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I read somewhere on the internet that Curt made 115 million over his MLB career, and now he’s got less than a million to his name. Another SMRT businessman, in the Drumpf tradition!

      • The Wanderer

        It begs the question “Why do people who are so bad at business think their business acumen qualifies them for political office?”

        • Loki1001

          Otherwise known as the Carly Fiorina Quandary.

          • The Wanderer

            I was thinking of Hoover, GW Bush, and Trump, actually, but I think she’d like to have something named for her.

          • I’d suggest a law that allows investors to claw back executive severance payments

          • Lord Jim McNasty

            Set them at a fixed percentage of earnings gain under their leadership.

          • Loki1001

            Well she does have the distinction of having the shortest ever vice presidential run, and being forced to be on a bus with Ted Cruz for nine days.

          • That sounds like an aborted kidnapping

          • Villago Delenda Est

            I understand that a war crimes tribunal in Geneva was due to be convened to get whoever forced her on that bus.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            They figure that they’ve always been very successful at convincing people to hand them power and money. They just forget that they only had to impress a very small group of very rich people before, and elections don’t work like that.

          • Lord Jim McNasty

            Fucking checkmate right there!

        • artem1s

          they sincerely believe that relieving themselves of the responsibility of paying anymore taxes is that one little trick that will turn their failed life around

      • Loki1001

        There’s a 30 For 30 documentary about professional athletes going broke. It’s sad… in most cases.

      • boyblue122

        Was it mostly because of his Studio 38 video game business ventures?

        • phoenix00

          Failing upwards!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Curt Schilling was a consumate professional in his original field, the very best of his era, perhaps!

        Who knew that throwing a ball at guy holding a stick wouldn’t automatically translate into success in another field?

        • Perhaps he could have gone in for cow chip throwing

      • zerosumgame0005

        hey, I have less then a million bucks too! about a million less then a million!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I enjoyed him calling Chris Matthews a liar and promptly being shut down.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The 15 people who attended Schilling’s Trump rally in Boston yesterday

      https://mobile.twitter.com/tedcooper/status/789879877222567936?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That was so hilarious…”an audience numbering in the tens”.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Almost two tens.

          Base tens, even.

        • Doug Langley

          The idol of dozens.

    • Spotts1701, The Baddest Hombre

      Because there is clearly a dearth of shouty political call-in programs where people can have their nutty biases confirmed.

    • Kooolest G

      this is fucking amazing though, skip ahead to the 6 minute mark. yes jake tapper does have to explain to curt that “I don’t speak for all jews”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI-yITxxq6s

    • phoenix00

      I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry…

      Or maybe he belongs with the nutcases there. Who knows.

  • data_ninja

    Over the past year, an agency called DNS have been censoring and editing my e-mail traffic overtly.

    *head explodes*

    This guy is a real life ID ten T error for sure. He probably also complains that someone is siphoning his headlight fluid in his car, because it’s always dry in the reservoir.

    • boyblue122

      DNS? He must mean the NSA lol

      • data_ninja

        DNS, TCP, MAC, and DOS are all just government agencies!

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          TCP/IP turned me into a newt.

          • The Wanderer

            A newt!?

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            I got better.

        • Lord Jim McNasty

          And what’s with all the “packets” flying around? Is teh intertubez a dope network? ETHERnet?! Holy shit! WTF is going thru my puter?!

    • John Smith

      I always preferred PICNIC error (Problem In Chair, Not In Computer).

      • data_ninja

        I like that version better than the other one I know, PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair. Thanks!

      • zerosumgame0005

        in my life as a tech support dude I found it is pretty much always UE, User Error or else they did not RTFM Read The Fucking Manual

  • Gentle Robot

    oh god remember when Rand Paul was the crazy conspiracy candidate
    those were the days

    • The Wanderer

      I recall when Lyndon LaRouche was the bug-eyed crazy conspiracy candidate. He was a hoot.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        LaRouche was able to buy a half hour infomercial in 1976 that aired in prime time on NBC in which he said that if Jimmy Carter were elected, the US would be at war with Mexico within a year.

        • The Wanderer

          I also recall he insisted that Queen Liz was the chief drug connection for the USA.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Queen Vicky WAS the chief drug connection…for China, in the 19th century.

          • nastymagyar

            Liz Taylor?

  • kareemachan

    It looks like the older Rand gets, the more his chin recedes. I guess he’ll have to pull a Bristol pretty soon or people will think that Yertle O’Connell is his real dad….

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/48c6bbe7d747d795f8f67bb327958b7a4de5f8c182f06ba1af8756775e3dfb17.jpg

    • Nasty Astraea

      Pictured above: A wise-looking creature worthy of our respect, and Mitch McConnell.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        A reptilian creature known for hiding in its own shell and a turtle.

    • JVisconti

      please don’t confuse my ancestral name and that of The Liberator with Yertle.

    • Blacktop Cadence

      Did you know Mitch has a sex tape? His squeak is cute, but his “O” face leaves something to be desired.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhRHBWUSKoY

    • Jamoche

      Has the live-action Preacher cast this guy yet? https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CTTR_ptWsAAX4tL.jpg

    • a nasty feminist

      i feel so sorry for turtles that mitch mcconnell ever happened. they didn’t deserve that.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Was up in Rockland County last night. Lots of Trump signs. No Hillary signs.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      HOA doesn’t allow election signs in my neighborhood.

      Keeps things friendly.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Rockland County NY? Because I’d be stunned if that wasn’t so. It’s a white flight bedroom suburb full of generations of NY cops.

      • John D. Wiser

        OTOH, Ulster County (NY) has plentiful Hillarys and not so many Trumps.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          It’s a small bright spot. Mom lives in the lower gunks, near the Orange/Sullivan border, and it’s pretty much a suburb of Alabama up there.

          • John D. Wiser

            That’s exactly my alley:
            ( 41° 29′ 36.06″ N 74° 29′ 24.84″ W )
            Neighbors: Two total dickheads, two harmless,
            two people of good will and common sense. No
            Hillary signs, too big a risk of vandalism. , ,

          • Carpe Vagenda

            You’re about five miles apart :)

            Not sure about good will, but she’s definitely not voting for Trump.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Yup. Was visiting an x cop. Found out he’s a 9/11 truther.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          The cognitive dissonance of Giuliani’s and Bush’s failures probably broke him.

  • Panika MCD

    carbon capture and storage is a thing. Xerox is working with the US Navy on creating a carbon capture system which would make a syn-fuel by splitting ocean water into base and acidic streams, pulling the carbon out of the acidic stream and then recombining the streams to put back. I only know this because Alien Brother came up with an idea to improve the process by using reverse electrolysis on the back end to capture the energy you would get from recombining the two streams. I’m still not entirely sure how it works and may have mixed up whether it was the acidic or basic stream that the carbon is pulled from.

    • Nasty Leftenant Anna

      That’s really interesting. :) I know the Navy has been looking for a way to use the Nuclear reactors on carriers to synthesize a fuel for the smaller ships to economize operations and vastly extend deployment endurance.

      If this, or one of the other systems works, it might lead to real breathroughs in civilian applications, too.

      • Panika MCD

        pretty much. not sure how KY can contribute other than manufacturing. Alien Brother said the main problem with other carbon capture ideas is that to pull it from the air, a significant amount of air has to flow over the skeins to pull enough carbon out, but as the ocean does this already, it’s easier to pull it from the ocean so that it has more capacity. as I understand it, they want to have the synfuel users become responsible for maintaining recapture with use so that would be more for industrial application than for civilian application. but solid carbon is pretty valuable.

        • Nasty Leftenant Anna

          Oh, this sounds better and better. :) I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it works. :)

    • “Never cross the streams!”

      • MasterDebaterBozi

        The sign above every urinal in America’s men’s rooms.

        • The Wanderer

          Unless you’re qualifying for Olympic Restroom Fencing.

        • nastymagyar

          You need to go to better restrooms. Start with truck stops and work your way up to bathhouses.

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    Well, as a Kentuckian and a former resident of Lexington, I love me some Jim Gray, but even I have to admit he’s gonna get beaten like a rented mule. I’ve been out in the countryside here and there are a plethora of Rand Paul and Trumpf signs, and this state is just chock-full of stupid. The one bright side is that there are a lot of people who talk a good game but who won’t bother to vote, and that’s the best we can hope for. OTOH (which, if you’re counting, is now #3), Gray v. Matt Bevin would be amazing, and wonderful, and even possible. The one thing we DO get right here is we sometimes elect Dems to the governorship, usually because the prior Republican holder of the office has either fucked everything up beyond belief or is on his way to prison.

  • ken_kukec

    “Do Randroids Dream of Electric Sheeple” — didn’t they make a movie of that, The Gay-Blade Runner? (Or am I thinking of a Zorro prequel?)

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Gay-ed Runner

  • Brian

    So, the Log Cabin Republicans declined to endorse Trump. This despite the fact that Trump openly said Caitlyn Jenner could use any bathroom she wants in his buildings and the Republican platform opposing that and every other LGBT right. These people actively hate themselves, right?

    • Nasty Leftenant Anna

      I’m guessing most of them are rich, never had to worry about jobs, housing, or being Gay-bashed by haters.

      • Sister Artemis

        One would assume, but having met a couple of log-cabinners – gay men who, yes, never had to worry about housing or jobs, but the gay bashing thing at least was something well known to them – their attitude seemed to be “Well, we’ll get around to that eventually; in the meantime [insert gop talking point about economics here]” *sigh*

        • Nasty Leftenant Anna

          That’s almost worse. I don’t understand this.

          When I first came out I met Gay men online that were doing all the racist dog-whistles and those things. I said to them:

          “it really offends me when people that face oppression wont learn anything about how to treat other people. Your stupidity sickens me.”

          I go into rages if LGBT people say racist things around me, but it really doesn’t happen too often.

          • Lord Jim McNasty

            It’s like African-Americans who are antisemitic. “Wut? Srsly?”

          • Nasty Leftenant Anna

            Precisely. Learn something, people. Your experiences should be teaching you empathy, not hatred.

        • Bub the Bad Zombre

          Soooo, they want to be sure they can earn enough money to pay for a good private health insurance plan that will cover them when some troglodyte wearing a confederate flag t-shirt breaks their jaw? And they’ll worry about the assaultive troglodytes later? Makes sense.

          • Jukesgrrl

            The trogs don’t necessarily even announce themselves with a flag symbol. One of my friends was beaten to a pulp by a guy he had just had sex with in a gay trysting place. He gave the police enough info to get the guy arrested, but in the trial the guy’s mother and his FIANCEE (!) both testified he was home with them at the time. So the jury voted not guilty. And, no, my friend didn’t have any health insurance.

    • Count Awesome

      Trump has the “Locker Room” Republican support all sewn up.

      • Bub the Bad Zombre

        If casual references to committing sexual assault are wrong, they don’t wanna be right!

      • snark-lurker

        Bike anyone?

    • Loki1001

      Yes, yes they do. Having been active in the gay rights movement since I was 18, I can tell you Republican gay people break down into two rough categories.

      1. Rich people. This group is so rich they can (pretend) to insulate themselves from homophobia and an anti-gay agenda. I say “pretend” because no amount of money can keep them from being jumped by homophobes. Caitlyn Jenner and Peter Thiel are prefect examples from this group. They won’t ever have to work in a hostile workplace, they have no worries about healtcare, they could have had a lawyer draw up everything they ever needed that comes with being married. So an all consuming greed replaces any solidarity with fellow LBGT people.

      2. Self-loathing. This group of people hates being gay. And so they fixate on the connotations of being gay, and reject them. By which I mean, this is the group that complains about effeminate gay people, slutty gay people, pride parades, ect. In their self-loathing heads they believe there are “bad” gays and “good” gays. And if they just were good enough, then all the people who hate gay people would embrace them. Of course it doesn’t work that way, the people they desperately want the approval of don’t view any distinction between so-called “proper” gay people and the rest of us.

      • Nasty Leftenant Anna

        I hated myself *until* I came out.

        I love my life now. My worst day as a BiTransLesbisexican-American is better than any day in the closet.

        I remember when one of my Girlfriends took me to a place, a bar, full of LGBTQA+ people. She saw the smile on my face, and she said: “yes, Anna. These are our people. The haters are the freaks, and in here you are beautiful and vivacious and you belong.”

        Had to re-do my mascara. :D

        • Nasty Astraea

          That is how I feel every time I go to Pride.

          • Nasty Leftenant Anna

            :) I’m hoping to go to the next one, in Denver. This year has been such a hard road, and not much time for fun.

        • Lord Jim McNasty

          And there was a day in my life I would have been one of the freaks throwing stinkeye at you. Because I was raised a mid-southern white boy in a place that was not thrilled to find itself in a Post Leave It to Beaver America. My whole life has been a journey to shake off my bigotries, my white privilege and my selfishness. My most surprising self-discovery was that I was growing into sociopolitical liberalism BECAUSE of my Christianity, not in spite of it.

          • Nasty Leftenant Anna

            When people realize that they can learn, and grow, and change, it’s a wonderful thing. :)

            And James, you are proving that it really is #notallchristians.

            You have my respect and admiration, Sir. ~hugs~

          • Lord Jim McNasty

            ~hugs~

            #notcrying

          • Nasty Leftenant Anna

            ~moar hugs~

        • John D. Wiser

          *BiTransLesbisexican-American*
          Awesome, just to think of the possibilities…

          • Nasty Leftenant Anna

            XD Yiss!

      • Sister Artemis

        I do think there’s a third category (at least) of folks who still believe the republican party represents some kind of fiscal sanity (used to also be military sanity, but that’s gone by the wayside), and despite the backassward social justice platforms, thought the GOP was a better place for them. Generally speaking most of the one’s I’ve know eventually become a variant on the blue dog Democrats floating around our party.

        • Jamoche

          I still don’t get how anyone can look at any historical economic data and think the Republicans represent “fiscal sanity”.

          • Sister Artemis

            rose colored glasses

          • Jamoche

            Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses, more like.

  • Sister Artemis

    Speaking on down-ballot races…
    Trump May Depress Republican Turnout, Spelling Disaster For The GOP

    couldn’t happen to a nicer party

    • The Wanderer
    • Bub the Bad Zombre

      I’m hoping for this, bigly. Trump’s lack of a ground game makes such an outcome even more likely, IMO. We could be seeing a “perfect storm” level disaster for the Rethugs, as long as every Democrat gets out and VOTES!

    • Lord Jim McNasty

      As if in answer to that perennial enigma of philosophy, “How many times can one team owngoal in a single contest?”

  • bubbuhh
    • Bub the Bad Zombre

      Abominable. Sweet moped though!

      • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

        Le vélocipède déplorable!

        • Bub the Bad Zombre

          Oui, très pathétique!

      • MasterDebaterBozi

        Abdominable.

      • BrianW

        Is it a moped? Looking at the larger version of the picture, I think I see a pedal just under the left side saddlebag.

        • Paul Dietzel

          Don’t lots of mopeds have pedals too so you can help out the little motor when necessary?

          • BrianW

            I don’t really know. Maybe? I’ve got bicycles, but am completely ignorant where mopeds are concerned. I will say the transportation in that picture needs all the help it can get.

    • Sister Artemis

      Can’t believe he blew it by not having patriotically themed paniers….

      • Bub the Bad Zombre

        Swing and a miss!

      • nastymagyar

        He may have flag pins on the sides, we can’t really see them

    • TJ Barke

      “How can I look like as big a tool as possible?”

      • Lord Jim McNasty

        Camo pants.

    • Count Awesome

      He looks like a hillbilly gigolo.

    • MizzMazz

      I’d be afraid of falling on that rig.

    • Idaho4644

      One of the “Keep your government hands off my Medicare” crowd.

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      People like this are why I cringe inwardly now at the word ‘patriot.’

    • Nasty Leftenant Anna

      “What a…..handsome…man.”

      Mike Nelson, MST3K episode “The Giant Spider Invasion”.

      • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

        Wooo! PACKERS!!

        • Nasty Leftenant Anna

          XD Packers!

          “The Alan Hale Action Figure! He eats! He sits! He eats some more!”

          • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

            Also too: Vaaaaaaance!

            A terrible movie. One of their best episodes.

          • Nasty Leftenant Anna

            Yes, and yes. I was in tears. XD

            Have you seen the ep “the Starfigters”? You know how I love jets, but OMG that movie.

            “Do you have a lumpy, misshapen face? Join the Air Force!”

          • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

            I thought it was a brave artistic choice to make a movie without a plot.

          • Nasty Leftenant Anna

            XD Yes. Even I would have shut it off if not for the MST3K crew.

            Also tooo: “Poopy Suits!’

    • Kiri the Nasty Unicorn

      Evel Knievel lives!

    • Count Awesome

      Captain America really let himself go.

      • Nasty Leftenant Anna

        OMGLOL

        • Me not sure

          He looks like he ate his bro, Bucky for lunch.

          • Nasty Leftenant Anna

            And the shield for dessert?

          • Me not sure

            Being made of adamantium, that is going to be hard to pass. Where’s the Phillip’s lady when you need her?

          • Nasty Leftenant Anna

            “Tell Tony Stark we need him to invent a whole new kind of laxative.”

    • Me not sure

      Is that a slo-ped? How the fuck does it move with that guy on it?

      • Idaho4644

        Strong fucking tires too! Those things must defy all laws of physics and gravity.

      • Doug Langley

        Down. With a crunching sound.

        • Me not sure

          DAMN YOU GRAVITY!

          • Doug Langley

            It really sucks.

          • JustDon’tSayHombre

            I dunno. I find gravity kind of attractive.

    • Jamoche

      Funny how these “patriots” never notice the bit about not using the flag as clothing.

    • msanthropesmr

      Well, at least he’s getting exercise.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yeah, Dad. you look great. You won’t have any trouble attracting Wife #4 in that outfit.

    • phoenix00

      And the moment that flag snags on a street sign…..

  • Mavenmaven

    Sorry, Rand lost, ‘bigly’.

  • nastymagyar

    He’s not very hot for a Teh Ghey

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      He’s a Lexingtonian, which is a very straight-laced species: chinos, loafers, pink or white or pale blue dress shirts, drinks bourbon, watches the Cats, golfs, spends April and October at the track, lives in a 4-bedroom house with a 2-car garage, drives a Lexus. The only thing that makes him unique is that he doesn’t have kids to send to one of the private schools. (Sorry, I do love him, and he’s a very good mayor, but honestly, you could stamp the Lexingtonians out like mass-produced Lego men.)

      • nastymagyar

        Lexintonian men are the new Stepford wives?

        • Good_Trouble_Yall

          Lexingtonian women are! They’re just – it’s one of those cities where basically everybody needs to get over themselves.

      • Lord Jim McNasty

        drinks bourbonMaker’s Mark

        cuz, nun dat Tennuhsee shit up in here…

        Plus, about an hour’s drive to the distillery, hey ho…

        • Nasty Leftenant Anna

          Nice!

          I likey bourbon myself, especially Maker’s Mark on the high side, and Jeremiah Weed on the low side.

          I got into Jeremiah Weed Bourbon Liqueur because the USAF likes it. I think the USAF likes it because you could run a jet engine on it. XD

    • phoenix00

      That’s ok, it’s what’s inside that counts amirite?

      • nastymagyar

        No. No it isn’t. It’s almost like you have never met a gay man.

        • phoenix00

          I was snarking……

          (and FYI my best friend is gay)

          • nastymagyar

            So was I :-)

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    Slightly OT, but a thought has occurred to me:
    I would be happy with a country in which the Jeopardy! contestants of the year 2345 are given the clue “He was the last Republican president,” by the cryogenically frozen head of Alex Trebek, to which the answer is “Who was George W. Bush?” No more fitting legacy for him, no more Republican party at all – it will be a kind of nirvana.

    • Me not sure

      So, “Who was Gerald Ford? ” would be wrong?

    • Brian

      I’d be happy if this was our current Jeopardy.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7VaXlMvAvk

      • OddMan

        SNL is kickin it lately. This skit was so funny, and the timing between Doug (Tom Hanks) and Darnell (Kenan Thompson) was spot on perfect. Pulling that off live is a treat to watch.

        • Serai 1

          Well, that’s the thing about being a good actor – you tend to be good at acting.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The deserting coward has actually been quoted as saying he fears he will be the last GOP Prez, ever.

      • artem1s

        in that he ‘fears’ he’s going to be blamed for fucking up the party just as he fucked up every business he ran?

        • JustDon’tSayHombre

          Nolan Ryan is on line 2

    • Serai 1

      Except for the right wing party that will take its place the minute it collapses. Getting rid of the organization does nothing to get rid of the people in it, after all, or to change them in any way.

      • Sakonyachen

        I agree with that wholeheartedly. The only problem I see for them going forward is they hate so many people it leaves a pretty high bar for voters in a country that is increasingly brown, openly gay and other than Christian by the day. Of course, my optimism has gotten me hospitalized before.

  • snark-lurker

    a thing here sez “Comments:666”
    how can this happen?

    • BadKitty904

      DEMONS!!1!

    • Kooolest G

      must be the DNS. or the jews, it’s always the jews

      • JustDon’tSayHombre

        That does it, I’m emailing the DNS right now.

  • Fartknocker

    Mrs. Fartknocker sent my ass to work today because she needs some new shoes and she surprised me with the League of Women Voters guide for my county. She also advised my area early voting place opens @ shift change (7 AM tomorrow) so I’ve been sitting in the Chief’s office (I’m acting as the SW Austin chief today) making my final selections for state, county and city offices. So after work I’m going to Einstein’s to get the poll workers a nice box of good coffee, some bagels and nice schmears to show them love.

    Which brings me to my quandary ever 4 years. How the hell does one intelligently select States judges in Texas? I’m not an attorney so any helpful hints from the lawonkettes would be awesome.

    • artem1s

      the state bar association should have a ranking of the judges running for state and local offices. It’s a non partisan rating based on things like appeals overturns and such, not their opinions.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Oh, sorry, I didn’t see this when I left my comment.

    • BadKitty904

      I’d select those least likely to kill me.

    • JustDon’tSayHombre

      When I was last in Austin, I voted for the guy who gave me a t-shirt. He won.

    • alnnc

      Go to your state or local party website. They generally will recommend people in non-partisan races like judges and give some background on the people running. Or you can look at some left leaning papers or websites. As a last option, in North Carolina, parties are allowed to pass out information outside the voting stations. Take one of the Republican handouts with their recommended selections. Vote for the other person.

      You should be able to locate a sample ballot prior to the election. Pull it up. If there are multiple options for non-partisan offices, spend a little time and figure it out. Judgeships are extremely important but seldom get the attention they need. The right wing, driven by the Kochs, and Art Pope in NC, have spent millions on getting their people elected. Whatever you do, do not vote for one of their picks. Judges can be the last chance to block the tyranny of the right wing governors and legislatures. If we are not careful, they can also be the last refuge for those scoundrels. They sure pulled a number on us in North Carolina.

    • Vagandarian the Librarian!

      Many court websites have judicial bios. Also, there are free legal case websites where you can search for the judges name to see how they rule.

    • Jukesgrrl

      This isn’t comprehensive, but states I’ve lived in have had their state Bar Associations do a survey where they ask lawyers to say whether or not candidates are “qualified.” It especially helps in judicial retention elections. If a judge has been on the bench and gets an “unqualified” rating, s/he’s a real jackass. So you might google the Texas Bar’s website.

  • azeyote

    to make a short story long – when i was 14, and very bad, they sent me to Kentucky Military Institute, and when the Kentucky Derby came to town, my friend and i, in our uniforms, went downtown louisville, each bought a pint, went back in the ally with the winos, chugged our whiskey, and got on the bus to the derby – the next thing i remember is i was sitting on a cooler, in the derby infield, puking my guts out, and a circle of people were dancing around me pouring beers on my head – now i realize they are rand paul voters –

    • Jukesgrrl

      And now you are here with us. What does that say about the Kentucky Military Institute?

      • Sakonyachen

        That it does its job well!!!!

    • I Am Helpy

      no part of that story isn’t great.

  • BadKitty904

    Who?

  • WampusKat

    Not bothering to mention that Ron and Rand Paul are very much into the Cliven Bundy militia thing: http://www.irehr.org/2014/04/17/bundy-standoff/

    (and spreading conspiracy theories about “the Jews”): “Ron Paul Stars In Oath Keepers Militia Film By Far-Right Filmmaker” (RWW links to the actual “documentary” page):
    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/ron-paul-stars-in-oath-keepers-militia-film-by-far-right-filmmaker/

    …probably has something to do with why the tea party loons (Rand Paul in particular) continue to be elected. It’s not like there isn’t enough evidence out there:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEC68vTQwP8

    “The Ron Paul Institute: Be Afraid, Very Afraid – The
    former presidential contender is back, this time as head of a new
    ‘institute’ for ‘peace’ comprised of anti-Semites, 9/11 truthers, and
    dictator lovers. James Kirchick reports”http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/04/25/the-ron-paul-institute-be-afraid-very-afraid.html

    Paul’s racist John Birch Society “New World Order” video (the very conspiracy theory Trump is using about “globalist bankers): http://newsone.com/1754815/ron-pauls-new-world-order-conspiracy-theory-video/

    Ron Paul’s neo-Nazi following (courtesy of Dave Neiwert of the Southern Poverty Law Center): http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2007/11/dark-side-of-paul-phenomenon.html

    Then we have Paul trotting the globe meeting with the world’s fascist leaders: http://www.dialoginternational.com/dialog_international/2011/12/ron-paul-and-the-neo-fascists.html

    Paul’s involvement with Brexit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6tBY_9R9fc

    “Nigel Farage: the American Rand Paul is my soulmate from the Tea Party”http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/nigel-farage/11467063/Nigel-Farage-the-American-Rand-Paul-is-my-soulmate-from-the-Tea-Party.html

    Ron Paul and nullification (of federal law)/”States Rights”: http://www.politicalresearch.org/2013/11/22/nullification-neo-confederates-and-the-revenge-of-the-old-right/

    Record in congress: http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2007/11/ron-pauls-record-in-congress.html

    Ron/Rand Paul and the John Birch Society (if Canadians can do the homework on this, I fail to understand how it is that Americans can’t seem to get this straight):
    https://thepoliticalspectator.com/tag/john-birch-society/

    Is there some compelling reason not to spell it all out, Dok?

    BTW, claiming that Gray’s gayness has zero impact on his candidacy in Kentucky (home to Ken Ham’s Creation museum) is pretty damn disingenuous:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q3fyBC4HFo

    The people mentioned in that video are in fact the same individuals Samantha Bee featured here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMgaqhTZBlg

  • JustDon’tSayHombre

    OT, going through my mail-in ballot now. Item 1 was easy enough.
    Jeezis, lookit all those measures and propositions…

    psst, what’d you get for number 201?

    • JustDon’tSayHombre

      Done. I feel like I just took the SAT.

      • Jukesgrrl

        I don’t know how anyone does this in a couple of minutes in a booth. I sit in front of my computer to fill out my ballot.

        • JustDon’tSayHombre

          the wife and I used to spend a couple hours at home with a laptop and a voter’s guide before heading to the polls. We had to memorize our decisions (harder on items we disagreed on).

          • Sakonyachen

            It’s the best way nowadays. It’s really hard to keep it all straight. Plus, here in Illinois, there are some horridly corrupt chucklefucks that like to put a D next to their name to get elected. None on my ballot this year though. The worst I have to deal with is the fact that Duckworth said she was in a helicopter on 9/11 when she was actually on vacation. Not gonna stop me for voting for her over Mark “I hated Trump before hating Trump was cool” Kirk. The guy should have just thrown in the towel when he saw the words Presidential Election Year. Illinois isn’t as liberal as they say, but his district is not just a few gerrymandered suburbs.

          • JustDon’tSayHombre

            Same problem in CA, plus fkn top-two primaries. So you can have two Ds on the ballot for the same position. Stupid idea, Cali.

    • harryr

      Battle of Gettysburg

      • JustDon’tSayHombre

        Dammit! I said Millard Fillmore. I thought it was that or Pi/2.
        So close.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Oregon used to be notorious for “bedsheet ballots” It has really been pruned back lately.

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    If the Jews control everything under the sun, why aren’t we ever President? Huh, huh, huh?

    • alnnc

      Really. You didn’t know Obama was a Jew?

      • Nasty_ahughes798_woman

        And a muslin, also too. He’s two….two..great religions in one.

        • Donkey Option

          Don’t forget atheist too. I remember that one – atheist Muslim. And thinking – that is not a thing. But, well, crazy doesn’t mind inconsistencies.

          • Nasty_ahughes798_woman

            I’ve always thought that OBama was probably an atheist, at least now. I know he went to a church for 20 years, but I think he changed.

          • Donkey Option

            I’ve really been getting an agnostic vibe from him and Hillary. But then, Democrats are a lot more quiet about religion, whichever we follow. Also, how do you explain a loving God in a world that has Trump?

          • Nasty_ahughes798_woman

            The god botherers always try to explain away any type of indication that their guy upstairs ain’t paying attention by saying “God gave man free will.” Which, I must admit, is an ironclad way to excuse their leader for allowing all kinds of bad stuff.

    • JustDon’tSayHombre

      Because you don’t NEED to be. Duh.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “You’re forgetting about Franklin Delano Rosenfeld and John Fitzgolem Kennestein.” – Somebody’s crazy great-great uncle.

    • Serai 1

      “You’re confusing over-representation with control. If Jews controlled Hollywood, I’d be on a major network, and Leno and Letterman would be on Animal Planet.” — Jon Stewart

    • Anna Rompage

      When you think about it, Christianity in nothing but a 2016 year old form of ancient New Age Judaism

      • Vagandarian the Librarian!

        Without the heaven and hell parts. ;)

    • Sakonyachen

      Because then it would be ((obvious))

      • Vagandarian the Librarian!

        Ah, (((gotcha)))

        • Sakonyachen

          Is it three parenthesis? You implied you were Jewish. I only used two. (((Can you read it now? Mwuahahahahaaaaa!!!!)))

          • Blackest Noobs

            we’re all Jewish on the inside…or is that Spartacus?
            we’re Spartacus? was Spartacus Jewish?

            we’re all Jewish Spartacus.

          • Sakonyachen

            I hope you’re right. I want muscles and those cool sideburns that hang down to my rib cage.

          • Blackest Noobs

            i just wanna live up to Kirk Douglas….dude was instrumental in bring back Dalton Trumbo to the fold after he was blacklisted by a bunch of chicken-little dumbfucks.

            Kirk Douglas gets a pass on any shitty movie he did because of Spartacus.

          • Vagandarian the Librarian!

            Actually, Thracian: a group of Indo-European tribes. Also interesting articles on whether he actually was. It’s implied, but not explicit.

          • Vagandarian the Librarian!

            Hmmmm. Maybe I’m wrong. Hahaha! Wouldn’t be the first time. But yes, I’m part Jewish.

      • Blackest Noobs

        just like it’s obvious we can rig elections is why we passed on rigging the last Midterm elections.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Barak = Barouch
      Origin and Etymology of baruch
      Late Latin, from Greek Barouch, from Hebrew Bārūkh

      WAKE UP YOU SHEEPLE!!

  • TheMgt23

    The ACA is extremely popular in Kentucky. Why don’t the feckless Democrats pepper the state with billboards reading: ” ACA = ObamaCare.” Might add: “BTW They’re Really BushPhones.” Ok, the second part is probably too much truth for one message but people need to know the the truth and start, gasp, thinking about who and why ACA is being demonized. I would do it in a heartbeat.

    • Sakonyachen

      Because so many people would die when they cancelled their insurance.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Dok, kudos for the Philip K. Dick reference.

  • Celtic_Hombre

    Rand Paul and Donald Trump are two peas in a pod. Rand, like the Trumpster, would not have failed upwardly so easily if his father had been a used car salesman in Louisville.

  • JohnE_o

    As a tech guy who often has to deal with confused end users, I sympathize with the support crew that handled Mr. Wilson’s complaint.

  • phoenix00

    If Billy Ray here is scraping the barrel when it comes to tech, MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA ain’t exactly MIT Labs tech either.

    https://gizmodo.com/this-is-the-kind-of-idiot-that-congress-puts-in-charge-1788122640

  • I think the Rand Paul ophthalmologist board has certified exactly three people: Rand Paul, his wife, and the sex worker he didn’t have enough money to pay so he gave board certification instead.

    • ken_kukec

      I can forgive a guy many a peccadillo, but cheating a hooker like that is where I draw the ethical line.

  • Bless Billy Ray’s heart. That is just too precious.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    “He’s one of the ones who lost, big-league. God, that was way back in February. We were so young then.”

    I had genuinely forgotten he was ever in the race. I also always forget Miss Lindsey was ever a presidential candidate. Also, Miss Lindsey objects to your characterization that there has only been one openly gay senator!

  • Jim Johnson

    Is Do Randroids Dream of Electric Sheeple? still in print? Didn’t Glenn Beck make a movie based on that?

  • MM

    Gray will be anally raped in November.

    Of course, I’m sure that gerbil stuffing cocksucker won’t mind.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Homophobe much?

    • doktorzoom

      You seem nice.

      Wait, I mean Banhammered. Yeah, that second one.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • dookieboot2

    This author supposedly has a Ph.D in Rhetoric but he writes like 20 year old college student: no structure, slang, interminable snark, non sequiturs. How sad it is to be 60 and writing banal blog posts for Wonkette. This hell hole is for goofy millennials to start their careers, not for washed up baby boomers to end their careers

    • mfp

      what’s your Ph.d…advanced dickishness?

      • dookieboot2

        That was extremely clever. I’d like to read more of your wit. Links?

    • doktorzoom

      Cutting remarks indeed from someone who thinks “colon cowboys” is the height of wit.

    • mml1996

      Do you need a prize for that glowing review, honey?

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