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Don't be ridiculous. Of course you didn't
Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you didn’t

The more Donald Trump keeps nattering on about the rigged elections — and you know who is doing it, wink-wink — even Republicans are getting tired of it, because in a whole bunch of swing states, it’s actually Republicans who are in charge of running elections and tallying votes, and they for some reason don’t like Trump accusing them of being in the tank for Hillary Clinton. As usual, Trump doesn’t even seem to be on speaking terms with his vice presidential candidate: Sunday, on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Mike Pence reassuringly insisted that he and Trump “will absolutely accept the result of the election.” Then a little while later, Trump himself sent out a tweet suggesting his veep nominee is either a dupe of the crooked media or perhaps a secret Hillary supporter himself:

trump-rigging-tweet-1

He was at it again Monday morning, too:

trump-rigging-tweet-2

As the Boston Globe reported Saturday, some Trump supporters are definitely looking forward to protecting the integrity of the vote, by which they mean making sure only the right-looking people vote. Steve Webb, an Ohio carpenter, is looking forward to making sure of it:

I’ll look for . . . well, it’s called racial profiling. Mexicans. Syrians. People who can’t speak American,” he said. “I’m going to go right up behind them. I’ll do everything legally. I want to see if they are accountable. I’m not going to do anything illegal. I’m going to make them a little bit nervous.”

Yeah, the “going up right behind them” part is already illegal, dickhead. Incidentally, right in this goober’s home state, the secretary of state of Ohio is a Republican, Jon A. Husted, who doesn’t see all the dirty dirty fraud Trump voters are so certain of. Then again, he’s part of the establishment, now isn’t he?

“We have made it easy to vote and hard to cheat,” Mr. Husted said Sunday in an interview. “We are going to run a good, clean election in Ohio, like we always do.”

Yes, that would be the same John Husted who refused to follow a court order telling him to restore early voting, because, he argued, expanded voting hours that let certain people vote early would be terribly “confusing.”

Husted also said it’s “wrong and engaging in irresponsible rhetoric” to suggest the vote will be anything but fair, which pretty much gives up his game: he’s clearly in the tank for Hillary.

The New York Times also notes,

American elections are, unlike those in many democracies, largely decentralized, rendering the possibility of large-scale fraud extraordinarily unlikely. Further, the balloting in many of the hardest-fought states will be overseen by Republican officials, individuals who would be highly unlikely to consent to helping Mrs. Clinton rig the vote.

Chris Ashby, a Republican election lawyer, said Mr. Trump’s attacks on the electoral process were unprecedented and risked creating a fiasco on Election Day. Mr. Ashby also said that Mr. Trump was “destabilizing” the election by encouraging his supporters to deputize themselves as amateur poll monitors, outside the bounds of the law.

“That’s going to create a disturbance and, played out in polling places across the country, it has the potential to destabilize the election,” Mr. Ashby said, “which is very, very dangerous.”

But isn’t that exactly what you’d expect from the crooked New York Times? It sounds like the Times and the Republicans plan to gang up on Trump supporters to keep them from exercising their God-given right to intimidate the wrong people — and as Trump constantly reminds us, EVERYONE knows who they are — from rigging the election, which is the only way Trump can lose. Besides, independent observers of the political scene who happen to work as Trump surrogates are pretty sure voting fraud really is rampant:

Newt Gingrich, a former speaker of the House, and Rudolph W. Giuliani, a former mayor of New York, both advisers to Mr. Trump, used TV interviews on Sunday to suggest that Democrats tended to cheat in elections, accusing them of counting votes from dead people.

And Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, Mr. Trump’s closest congressional supporter and a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, has warned that “they are attempting to rig this election.”

You know, Them. You want more proof that the election is rigged? Speaker of the House Paul Ryan issued a statement through a spokeswoman saying, “Our democracy relies on confidence in election results, and the speaker is fully confident the states will carry out this election with integrity,” which can only be read as a tacit denial of all the proof Donald Trump has offered of voter fraud, which is that you just plain know it’s happening all the time. By Those People, who are working as the hired muscle for Those Other People.

Fortunately, Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway was briefly released from her underground pen in Trump Tower Monday so she could go on TV — right about when Trump was tweeting about how everyone knows about “widespread voter fraud” — and explain that Trump wasn’t talking about voter fraud at all; he only meant biased media coverage:

“Anybody who reads the newspaper online or in print or has a remote control probably has recognized that in many ways, the fix is in for Mrs. Clinton when it comes to the mainstream media,” Conway told CNN’s Jason Carroll outside Trump Tower.

After stating that the country has been done a disservice by the media in regards to getting a chance to hear the issues when it comes to Trump, Carroll pressed her on Trump’s own rhetoric about widespread voter fraud. Conway demurred when discussing that, saying the campaign would only look into actual cases when they occurred, but wasn’t claiming it was an actual issue.

Like, apart from what the candidate says in every speech and several times a day on Twitter. And so the Trump Train rattles onward, with virtually no evidence that anyone in the campaign is actually talking to anyone else. Besides, isn’t this all just a distraction from Benghazi?

[NYT / Boston Globe / Mediaite via Joe.My.God]

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  • Nounverb911

    I’m rigging my vote by not voting for Trump!

    • Stulexington

      Conspiracy!

    • Doug Langley

      Oh mah Gawd! They bodysnatched Nounverb!!

  • Snicker Haha

    I’m not gonna let any toothless person intimidate me at the poll.

  • Indiepalin

    Only when electoral votes are awarded based on the physical size of each state will vote fraud be neutralized.

  • goonemeritus

    It’s sad that the Republican Party is so bad at picking nominees that I will only have to vote once to assure their defeat.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      True dat. But imma stil vote six, seven times to keep my hand in.

      • goonemeritus

        Old habits die hard.

  • Nounverb911

    “Democrats tended to cheat in elections, accusing them of counting votes from dead people”
    Every Mayor Daley libelz!

    • weejee
      • malsperanza

        Chicago had plenty of vote stuffing throughout the sixties, when you could still pull a lever to vote the whole Democratic ticket, but it was mostly in more local races.

        • alanb

          Many years ago I had a boss who claimed that when he was 16 years old and growing up in Chicago he voted for Adlai Stevenson 6 or 7 times.

          • malsperanza

            Ah, that would explain those 7 votes.

            My parents were Stevenson Dems and poll watchers in that election. They had stories …

  • Mavenmaven

    What Trump means: “Of course it is rigged! I’ve been paying off Republican officials for years”

    • Jim Johnson

      He “tells it like it is.”

  • beingreleased

    Good think the people who would be doing the challenging are afraid of black people. The only person they’ll even try to intimidate is some 90 year old Muslim-looking great-grandmother.

    • malsperanza

      Not so true in small towns, where intimidating the black folk is what you do on weekends when there’s no football game at the high school.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Election is being rigged by the media. Drones are following me. My thoughts are being stolen. Don’t use phones. They are listening.
    Dogs are in on it.

  • Lizzietish81
    • The Wanderer

      Quick! Get the Megaton size can of Raid!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Heh, it’d be fun to watch a Trumpanzee poll-watcher try to back down one of THEM.

    • OddMan

      One of my favorite Science Fiction Movies of the 50’s. It was almost feminist (for 1954) in portraying Dr. Pat Medford, an ant specialist, by Joan Weldon.

      • Lizzietish81

        Oh totally. She only screams once and it’s at a totally appropriate moment, then the next shot, she’s totally together and then goes into the nest.

        She’s bad ass.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Yes, well you just don’t understand that Donald J. Trump doesn’t broadcast his “plans.” He is always surprising, always prepared to deliver the unexpected. And that’s just how he’s going to defeat American democracy.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Obviously, I cast ballots in honor of my grandmothers, neither of whom lived to see a woman with a real chance at becoming president. It’s what they would have wanted, had they lived to be 130, and so I don’t consider that fraud.

  • AngryKatie

    I may have missed a few, but I think this is the current list of anti-Trump conspiracists:

    1) Hillary. Obviously.
    2) Obama
    3) Mexicans
    4) Sort of Mexicans
    5) The Democrats
    6) The Republicans
    7) Paul Ryan, specifically
    8) The “establishment”
    9) Fire Marshalls
    10) The Media
    11) The New York Times, specifically
    12) CNN, specifically
    13) International bankers (cough, Jews, cough)
    14) Microphones
    15) Teleprompters
    16) The Presidential Debate Commission
    17) “Other communities”
    18) Polls
    19) Polling Places
    20) Saturday Night Live

    I’m not sure who will be added today, but if I have my money on birds.

    ETA
    21) Voters
    22) Carlos Slim

    • limberrat

      Carlos Slim.

      • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

        Carlos Danger.

        • limberrat

          I’m sure there had to be a Weiner in there somewhere.

        • Nick Danger, Third Eye.

          • Rags

            Far out, Catherwood! Roll me a couple of bummers and lay them on the sideboard!

      • AngryKatie

        Good catch.

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      THE LIZARD PEOPLE!!

      • AngryKatie

        I’m honestly kind of surprised neither that or the Illuminati has come up yet.

    • Nounverb911

      Me!

      • AngryKatie

        Good point! I think all of us. I’ll add voters.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      It’s odd to me that The Gays haven’t really made the cut. Frankly, I feel a little miffed.

      • limberrat

        Suprisingly, he hasn’t said much about “the gays” after he made a push to win “the blacks”

        • Lascauxcaveman

          That’s true. Since The Gays are almost as big a group as The Blacks, you think he’d be pushing hard for their votes.

          • malsperanza

            They squick him too much to even mention.

          • eddi

            Considering how breast feeding set him off…

      • AngryKatie

        I think The Gays need to do something big to get on his radar.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          $1.25 million donation, maybe?

          • AngryKatie

            I was thinking an all drag queen diss track, glitter bombing (he’d never get that mess out of his “hair”), or something along those lines.

            But money is always good.

      • goonemeritus

        Gays are so a 2004 wedge issue. Welcome to boring and conventional, hope you like jello mold.

        • Swampay

          Every time I’m around my teenage kids and someone mentions something from more than five years ago, I say “You’re so two-thousand and LATE” which is so hopelessly anti-cool that they recoil in shock and say “Da-a-a-a-d!”

          You have to take the joys of parenting teenagers where you can find them.

          ETA: Ooops, I posted this under AngryKatie at first. I hope Disqus lets me move it.

    • OneYieldRegular

      21) Sunshine
      22) Oxygen
      23) Vital nutrients
      24)…

    • beingreleased

      I have it on good authority that those lib-tards at The Wonkette don’t like Trump all that much and may be saying mean things about him.

      • goonemeritus

        I refuse to believe an august organisation like the Wonkette would risk their reputation. After all wasn’t Walter Cronkite that referred to the Wonkette as the “first draft of history”?

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      Hitler?

    • Wild Cat

      Obviously, in his sad widdle heart, Marla Maples too, as she released his 1993 tax return. Bwahahahahaha!

      • AngryKatie

        23) That bitch Marla

      • SterWonk

        My absolute favorite part of the SNL Women-in-Trump’s-Life-do-Beyonce skit was the bit about Tiffany Trump going as “Tiff Maples”. :-) (2:14)

        https://youtu.be/uJBL7kuzvsg

        • malsperanza

          That is a pretty good Beyonciad.

    • Callyson

      21) Women, especially those lying sluts who say Donald sexually assaulted them

      • AngryKatie

        I can’t believe I forgot “all those ladies who are lying because they’re not hot enough for me to grope”

    • weejee
      • PimentacoTX

        “I’d never follow a guy who allowed himself to get crucified”. -DJT

      • Jim Johnson

        “I prefer so-called saviors that were not crucified.”

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      Reality is also very much in the tank for Clinton.

      • malsperanza

        Reality Fraud!

        • Querolous

          Does Drumph do Reality Fraud of Realty Fraud or both?

    • Cranky Man

      Tiny Tim, Super Dave and Mr. Rogers.

  • Nounverb911

    “Anybody who reads the newspaper online or in print or has a remote control probably has recognized that in many ways, the fix is in for Mrs. Clinton when it comes to the mainstream media”

    Shorter Kellyanne: “Quoting Donald is lying about Donald”.

    • Stulexington

      You can’t take Trump’s words at face value, you have to wait till me or Pence uses our bullshit to other bullshit translator and tell you what he actually meant.

  • Callyson

    “Anybody who reads the newspaper online or in print or has a remote control probably has recognized that in many ways, the fix is in for Mrs. Clinton when it comes to the mainstream media,” Conway told CNN’s Jason Carroll outside Trump Tower.

    Kellyanne, factual reporting about your candidate =/= “the fix is in.” It means your guy is an incompetent, hateful, and unhinged trainwreck who couldn’t get elected dog catcher.

    You’re welcome.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/67627906cee99cea73619efd49dcdff8c3b5dc20ddda2f9d2753304fd1b4bcab.jpg

    • mancityfooty

      It’s funny how there weren’t as many complaints about the press during the primaries.

    • jodyleek

      The tired old “mainstream media” line is so much b.s. Isn’t Fox News the network with the largest viewership and largest revenues? Doesn’t that mean that Fox News is the mainstream media? Ugh.

  • weejee
  • Scooby

    In all other ‘democracies’ districts are drawn by independent committee and resemble Euclidian geometric figures as well as establishing the rules and regulations for voting.

  • aureolaborealis

    OT, but Margaret Atwood, in The Guardian:

    “I tell you this. Hillary Clinton is a better man than Trump. She has more connection to the traditional male virtues. She has comported herself in a much more manly fashion. Ask any real alpha males that you’ll know and they’ll say of Trump, ‘This is the guy we didn’t like at school because he was a bully, but as soon as anyone pushed back at him he started to whine.’”

    • Crank Tango

      I was just thinking the same thing last night–Hillz is at least 3 times the man Trump is.

      • Plushinobi

        It takes real balls to be a lady in a man’s world.

        • Crank Tango

          It’s like when SNL’s Hillary feigned tears when Trump mentioned all Bubba’s affairs, and then said “I’m made of steel,” it brought a tear to my eye because it was so GD true.

    • The Wanderer

      It reminds me of a guy’s assessment of Rafael Cruz when they were school chums. An asshole, he called Cruz.

      • aureolaborealis

        I like to remind myself that Harvard Law, despite giving a degree to Cruz, also had some success stories, like Greg Giraldo. Oh, and the Obamas.

        • eddi

          It is not who they teach. It is how well the student learns.

        • Greg Giraldo! Now I has a sadz.

          • aureolaborealis

            Sorry. It pops into my head every time Cruz is mentioned.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      If you ask me, it’s Donald who sounds like he’s been bleeding from his wherever, which I presume are those new assholes his been getting ripped every week now.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    Well, if that is there attitude, then they are not going to like this:

    https://twitter.com/Morning_Joe/status/787996065899376640/photo/1

    • boyblue122

      the good ol swing state of Georgia chimes in

    • limberrat

      HOLY FUCK!

    • limberrat

      **Cleaning screen of coffee I was drinking while I read this**

    • Wild Cat

      Once you’ve lost the Wood Chipper Jones demographic . . .

      • Paul Dietzel

        Gaear Grimsrud libel !

    • Catstro

      Before I got too excited I checked YouGov’s pollster rating 538. It’s a B. I just had to pick my jaw up off the floor.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Funny, with “93% Races Called correctly” You Gov is second only in that category to Dan Jones & Assoc (97% and rated C).

        • Catstro

          No idea how his pollster ratings work tbh. Maybe YouGov has called more races, so a larger sample size?

          • Lascauxcaveman

            You get graded for your methodology and sample sizes.

            Sometimes posters with weaker methodology and smaller sample sizes go on a lucky streak, but it eventually reverts to the mean, as 538 would say.

    • The Wanderer

      Squee!

    • Catstro
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Holy Flurking Schnitt!

  • Anna Rompage

    “People who can’t speak American” Steve Webb

    Jesus fucking Christ, these racist, homphobic, illiterate, hoofwanking bunglecunt carpenters give my profession a bad name….

    • beingreleased

      Look, if American was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.

      • malsperanza

        A carpenter who gives the profession a good name. Need more like him.

    • jodyleek

      Navajo is American. Ojibway is American. Cherokee is American. English, from England (duh), is not American. My guess is Steve Webb can’t speak any American language and can barely speak English.

    • The Wanderer

      “American,” you inbred shit?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        My best friend in college was the son of an American GI and a German mother. He spoke fluent English and German. He always referred to the language of the United States as “American”, rather than “English” since that has a much narrower definition on the Continent than it does on the sceptered isle or across the pond.

  • Nounverb911

    Even Sasha and Malia are conspiring…

    https://twitter.com/politico/status/788061208058466304

    • malsperanza

      GRL!

      He is so cute when he’s teasing his kids.

  • Callyson

    Hello, Grand Canyon State!

    Hillary Clinton’s campaign is making its long-rumored move into Arizona, projecting confidence as it hopes to steal a red state with a win that the campaign says would effectively end Donald Trump’s chances of becoming president.

    https://media1.giphy.com/media/xT9DPlQR6ZTZFj3exi/200.gif

  • cmd

    OT: More email shit. Actually this CNN story makes it sound like the least amount of shit, but all the rwnj sites are going nuts, as is Paul Ryan, the turd. Hopefully it blows over before the debate …..http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/17/politics/hillary-clinton-server-patrick-kennedy-quid-pro-quo/

    • Plushinobi

      The rwnj sites can’t go nuts. That implies they weren’t nuts to start with.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Fair point. They can only push the “hysterical” dial up to 12. Because it’s been at 11 for months now.

    • limberrat

      At this point its impossible to tell what is true or not anymore since wikileaks/hackers have added a ton of bullshit into the emails. They lost all credibility by releasing information that was clearly doctored and even if something were true, we couldn’t tell since it is surrounded by bullshit.

      • cmd

        I think this is something in some extra FBI stuff/notes that was just released. But it still doesn’t seem as awful as the truly deranged are making it.

        • limberrat

          Fair enough. It would be one thing if they were asking to delete the email, but its a nothingburger if they wanted to release it publicly. In fact, the Clinton camp was publicly calling them to release those emails when the FBI found classified emails that at the time weren’t classified.

          • cmd

            Right, which is why the version in that cnn story about how it was the FBI that approached State is plausible — like, do us a favor and we can bury this. And since they didn’t, then doesn’t seem like Clinton could be blamed with anything except being Hillary. Unfortunately all the wingnuts need to hear is ” e-mail — classified — pay to play” and they start screaming. Ryan is particularly despicable here, but I guess this is his chance to try to be tough in face of his weakness. Appease the wingnuts.

    • ThirdAmendmentMan

      The funniest part is they wanted it re-reviewed and declassified so they could release it under FOIA. So the Trumpkins are going apeshit because they wanted to release an email.

      • cmd

        And this story says it was the FBI that approached State saying, hey, if you don’t want this email released, or whatever, then maybe we could get some more field agents or something. Too complex for the average bumper sticker, so of course EVIL, CONSPIRACY, COVER UP.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        They have no clue as to how the classification system works, so naturally, they can’t think through the consequences of their demands.

    • malsperanza

      Actually, the debate will give Clinton an opportunity to debunk this, which she can do in one sentence with a patented shoulder shrug.

      • cmd

        True, she will be ready with that one-liner, hopefully.

  • “Voter Fraud” in Conservatese means “black people voting.”

    I do fully expect that #repealthe15th will start trending as we get closer to election day.

  • Jen B_VA

    Think they need to change the tires on the trump train again?

  • Oblios_Cap

    The old lady who works the elections in my precinct will kick any Trumpster diver’s ass that tries any kinds of shenanigans on Election Day.

    • ViveLaRes

      Same here. Our poll workers are mostly retirees – teachers, police officers, military, nurses. They always look like they’re just begging for you to step out of line so they can assert their authority. Cletus with his MAGA cap and shootin’ iron trying to subvert the course of democracy here in St Johns County Florida won’t know what hit him.

    • AngryKatie

      Mine’s always staffed by high school kids getting in their public service hours.

      They would ennui them into submission.

    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      The g/f is one as well, as I have mentioned before. Any of that shit going down, she turns her whole ‘green-eyed redhead’ on them and there’ll be nothing left of them but their broken-heeled Tony Lamas.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Dear Donald,

    You are a lying fuckface.

    Sincerely,
    A drafted poll worker who knows how voting works

  • Lizzietish81

    You know who else claimed to protect democracy while undermining it?

    • limberrat

      Darth Sidious?

    • Nounverb911

      Augusto Pinochet?

    • Rep. Virginia Foxx, NC 5th District?

    • ViveLaRes

      Dick Cheney?

    • malsperanza

      Hurricane Sandy?

      I mean, Gov. Crispie?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The 19th Century Bourbons?

    • SeekingBarbie

      Joe McCarthy?

    • AnOuthouse

      Julius Caesar?

    • Rags

      The 2000 Supreme Court?

  • Kellyanne Conway would have an easier time as Joe Exotic’s campaign manager.

    • Vecchiojohn

      And a better chance of getting paid.

      • Cartoon Euchrid Eucrow

        In all fairness, it is my understanding that Exotic is “broke as shit”.

        • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

          Joe is broke. Donnie is most likely so deep in debt he can’t see just ‘broke’ with a telescope.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I certainly think she’d have a way easier time selling him to women.

  • bookish
    • malsperanza

      WaPo wishes it were so. Fasten your seatbelts, we have another debate on Weds.

      ETA Oh, I thought “ceiling” meant “basement” in this case.

      Nevermind.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Mr. “No Demrats” was afraid of votes
    He wrote up a “No Yout, poors and tinted votes” law
    He waited his whole damn life to rig those votes
    As Trump crashed down blaming him he thought
    Well, isn’t this nice
    And isn’t it ironic
    Don’t you think?

  • Joe Beese

    It’s not a distraction from Benghazi. It’s a distraction from… this!

    A top State Department official allegedly “pressured” the FBI to downgrade the classification of one of Hillary Clinton’s emails as part of a “quid pro quo,” according to documents released by the bureau on Monday.

    In the interview, the unnamed official says that Patrick Kennedy, under secretary of state for management, tried in late June or early July of last year to get the FBI to change a classified email to unclassified, in exchange for the State Department allowing the FBI to place agents in more countries.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2016/10/fbi-state-department-clinton-email-229880

    It’s gotten as far as CNN.

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/17/politics/hillary-clinton-server-patrick-kennedy-quid-pro-quo/index.html

    • limberrat

      So they didn’t want an email deleted, they wanted it released.
      …ooook

    • AngryKatie

      The FBI approached state, so if there was an attempt for quid-pro-quo, they initiated it.

      This intra-agency wrangling over classification is normal.

      It wasn’t changed.

      There’s still no scandal, just breathless innuendo for those who want there to be one.

      • Joe Beese

        But… ! But…

        This isn’t over!

        [stomps off]

        • Arolpin

          Dammit Joe. Stop being reasonable. If we can’t get the Berners to flip their shit, we might end up with a landslide, at which point the Drumpfsters will have major butthurt. Hmmm, not quite as bad as I was thinking, carry on.

  • Oblios_Cap
  • Rufus T. Firefly

    I sympathize, Donald. The World Series has long been rigged against the Cubs.

    • Nounverb911

      The curse will continue until Steve Bartman riding a billie goat throws out the first pitch.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Yeah, Clayton Kershaw threw a lot of rigged pitches last night.

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      If the Cubs don’t win, it’s because the World Series was rigged. We need an armed insurrection to overturn the results of the Series.

      • Querolous

        Who would ever have thought that a pitcher would get pulled because of a drone accident?

  • eddi

    The Trump Train. One person per car. Doors locked. And nobody at the controls. And Trump in the caboose claiming to be leading.

    • Nounverb911

      Is Chris Christie driving that train?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If by “driving” you mean “scarfing down every doughnut in the dining car.”

      • eddi

        More like Rudy Giuliani.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      Clearly in the tank for . . . Them.

    • limberrat

      See the GOP is out to get Trump! This is the proof the GOP is in the tank for KILLARY!!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This guy is a serious piece of work, too.

      • data_ninja

        Very much so.

    • boyblue122

      The man has more sack than Paul Ryan who refused to say it himself and instead had to say it through a spokesman

  • malsperanza

    Dok, aren’t you usually off on Mondays? Are you going to get any break between now and Nov. 8?

    Actually, what am I saying? We’re not going to get any break, so why should you?

  • ThirdAmendmentMan

    Could you imagine if a bunch of black men armed with assault rifles started hanging around polling stations and tried to make white people nervous about voting?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Actually, this guy really should have kept his mouth shut, because what he just gave his name and told the national media he was planning to do is a federal offense. The kind where they send people who aren’t local cops to watch the polls for.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “Well federal cops don’t count none!!! Only the sheriffs have authority!!!1!11”
        ~Many A Idiot

      • MrCanoehead

        I think it might be a really good idea to bring this to the attention of the authorities.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I can imagine them (armed black men) hanging around the California state capitol building and inspiring the most restrictive gun control legislation of the 60’s.

    • TJ Barke

      Wearing berets and perhaps referring to themselves as a type of large predatory cats…

    • beingreleased

      These people are made nervous by black people just standing in line to vote.

      • eddi

        Or by the idea of black people on the same continent as they are. Useless mouth-breathing pants-wetters.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Republicans would try to dap them up with a “cool” handshake and ask them if they like Lionel Ritchie?

    • Big Boppa

      Hell. Just swap their hats for turbans and the swat team would’ve been called out.

      http://esq.h-cdn.co/assets/16/41/1476459917-screen-shot-2016-10-14-at-114440-am.png

  • So, Mr. Webb is going to harass and intimidate anyone he overhears speaking the King’s English, or talking about throwing shrimp on the barbie, or ending sentences with “eh”? They’re not “speaking American”!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Logic, reasoning, marshaling of facts in defense of your position, and as a springboard to an offensive against your opponents…these things are not in the Drumpfster Fire skillset.

  • limberrat

    Mr. Webb. “Speaking American” is really hard to define since our nation is made up of an insane number of regional dialects that can differ even from two towns near each other. Go back to your house and shut the fuck up before you have the FBI on your ass!

  • TheGrandWaz00
  • limberrat

    Get ready for another long 4 years if Republicans take both houses.
    https://twitter.com/chrismassie/status/788062260237373440

    • Nounverb911
      • mancityfooty

        she can go back to that normal sized gavel

    • TheGrandWaz00

      I’m surprised it took them this long to say it out loud.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I just sent my ballot off today. Guess what braying, senile, diphsit Az. senator I didn’t vote for?

      • Jukesgrrl

        Same one I didn’t vote for.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Maybe he’ll lose by two votes!

    • AngryKatie

      When looking at the state of the election only a truly moronic asshole decides “more obstruction, that’s what voters want.”

      • eddi

        Lessons learned since 2012; ZERO.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      These guys don’t realize that they’re setting themselves up to be the ones removed from office by force of arms.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Hope Ginsburg stays healthy for another 8 years.
      More likely, if the public gets fed up with these obstructionist fucknuts, is a majority Dem Senate, which will make it even MORE likely that we get liberal justices appointed. Young ones.

    • theblackdog

      Another reason why down-ballot is so important.

    • Donkey Option

      So their excuse right now is that it is wrong to look into Obama’s nominee because it’s his last term and so he doesn’t have the will of the people or some such nonsense. So, what will be their reasoning behind this? I know that crying like a whiny baby is accurate, but usually they at least make something up to make the whole thing look legitimate.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      Talk about rigging! They are admitting to it. You can’t get a clearer example of someone taking the rules as laid out, and understood by everyone, for all the years we’ve had a Supreme Court, and just do whatever you want.

      The rules (Article II, Section 2, Clause 2) about the President and Senate’s roles regarding the Supreme Court are infinitely clear. You, Senator, SHALL APPOINT.

      You Advise, and then you Consent. The End.
      There is NO third option of “run out the clock because we never did either one! NEENER NEENER!”

      SHALL APPOINT. Are we gonna argue that it “depends on the meaning of shall?”

      For fucks sake, the last line says “but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.”

      There are three options there. Not four. You get to pick ONE, fuckface.
      And for goddamn sure, none of the options are “whatever Republicans want.”

      And even that is for those appointments “not herein otherwise provided for,” which the Supreme Court is actually provided for. You SHALL APPOINT.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    This makes me feel good – it’s FLOTUS squashing a noxious orange insect:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0131e01cbae7301874018d2c30c23520568b4246ead61cd8f8a14976147b2f67.jpg
    (Art by Ben Wiseman, for Frank Bruni’s Sunday NYT column.)
    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/16/opinion/sunday/the-authentic-power-of-michelle-obama.html

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      I want this as a framed print. :)

  • Marceline

    I love how these yokels think they can just walk into any polling place and start harassing people. That’s an easy way to end up needing a GoFundMe to pay your medical bills.

    • Oblios_Cap

      You can’t use GoFundMe for paying legal bills for an illegal act.

      • AnOuthouse

        kickstarter then?

        • Querolous

          Griftstarter. a wholly owned subsidiary of Liberty Counsel.

      • theblackdog

        Oh like they will admit they were doing something illegal. Their story will be “I was just at the voter site and I was sipping on some lemonade when some evil person attacked me and put me in the hospital while screaming ALLAH AKBAH! Please give me moneys as I cannot go to work at my nice Christian Job with my God-fearing boss”

        • Oblios_Cap

          “I was working at my lemonade stand and everyone kept asking me if it was iced tea.”

          • bobbert

            “ICE-T!!!!”

          • theblackdog

            “When I told them to read the sign, that’s when I was beaten half to death by those animals”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Easy way to end up in jail, at least in NYC.
      I doubt that these goobers will have the balls to “watch the polls” in the neighborhoods that Trump is warning about – they’re afraid of the riggers.

      • eddi

        Nasty.

      • Querolous

        Clang!

    • Shan

      They’re probably stupid enough to wear Trump shirts. That’ll get them barred for electioneering before they get anywhere near.

      • mackafritz

        I saw someone forced to remove a Hillary pin before she could vote here in Ohio.

        • Arolpin

          Good. The rules against electioneering are pretty clear, and we need them enforced. Though I may walk out singing ‘I did it HER waaaayy” after I vote. (I wonder if Drumpf will attempt to poll-watch my voting location. I bet it goes at least 75% for Hill, probably closer to 90%. I know that at least one of the African American men in town used to be an NFL linebacker, and all of them are upper-middle class, the kind that have lawyers on speed-dial.)

          • GoutMachine

            I live in D.C., so, like 99.99%

    • JohnBull

      No kidding. Aren’t these supposed to be the “wealth creators”? The 55% paying all the taxes? How the hell do they have time to take off their important work and bother total strangers?

  • bubbuhh

    700 Christian Women Condemn ‘Sin of Misogyny;’ Call Out Pussy Grabbing Evangelical Jock Straps Supporting Trump.

    “Christian leaders cannot condone such violent speech about women as a minor mistake or an innocent attempt to be ‘macho,'” the letter adds. “These excuses teach our young people that such language is acceptable and do further harm to those who have been abused.”

    http://www.christianpost.com/news/christian-women-condemn-donald-trump-sin-misogyny-170911/#zfrbqSbg9t3s1P16.99

    • limberrat

      The Christian Women I know from my high school and college days (all loyal R’s) all loathe trump and are either voting third party, Hilz, or not at all.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      “700 Christian women condemn…” is this sort of like ’30 Helens agree?”

      • bubbuhh

        700 Christian women condemn Evangelical Pastor Trump Love cuz 30 Helens agree love hurts.

      • GoutMachine

        You’re soaking in it!

    • AngryKatie

      I think the aftereffects with white Evangelicals is going to be interesting. Members of a great many flocks are looking at their figureheads and wondering what the flock they’re thinking by continuing to endorse Trump. Ladies and young people in particular.

      You know the best way to kill off their movement? Erode support with the ladies and the young people.

      • eddi

        It sure as heck worked for their buddies in the GOP. And look at what kind of stain got left behind when the voter pool drained away.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Halledamnlujah. It’s about time evangelical women quit letting these reactionary assholes speak for them.

    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      If Donnie can kill the GOP AND the Evangelicals we should thank him. A nice fruit basket, perhaps?

  • ViveLaRes

    I bet destabilizing election day is exactly what Bannon, Stone, Inc. is hoping for. Trump is too stupid to think of it, but I believe those Alt-Wrong turdblossoms think all they need to do is cast enough doubt and the results will be invalidated, either in the courts or via 2nd amendment terrorism. I am not super worried about this, but I am a little.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      While there will be a few lone wolves getting shooty with their AR-15s, all this talk of armed uprising is talk. You wouldn’t have to throw anything beyond a company of National Guardsmen at these people to end the entire thing.

      • eddi

        The local Barney Fife could intimidate them.

        • Jamoche

          In John Oliver’s takedown of Gary Johnson, I noticed that Johnson only needs a teeny bit more whine in his voice to sound like Barney Fife,

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        Truly.

        The only thing their “armed uprising” is going to look like is armed yahoos shooting at police, which as far as that goes, is definitely the opposite of the get-tough-on-crime narrative that they all believe in.

        Also, their base has been too invested in the other gross narrative that “dangerous thugs should get put down by cops” that I don’t see how they can spin any interactions with LEOs to look good in their favor.

        Outside a couple of incidents (hopefully all with peaceful homicide-free endings) this has no way of becoming a thing.

        • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

          ‘IF Cops only shoot at thugs
          AND cops are shooting at me
          THEREFORE I’m a thug?
          NORMAN! CO-ORDINATE!’

      • cat cafe

        Exactly. This sorry bunch of feckless losers is nothing but talk.

    • rosenbomb

      Alt-Wrong! Love it.

    • Snark Tank of Deplorables

      Call me a Pollyandrew, but I think this just got away from the Rs. What they were shooting for was a narrative where “the media is biased” and “you can only trust us!” which would ease directly into Trump News Network (Motto: “Yuuuuge News. Believe me!”) in January. But now the Alt-Wrong (I’m stealing it!) has taken it as a clarion call to arm themselves….

      • BeachBum

        I find it odd that considering how all the GOP is so “religious,” they missed the part that says “you shall reap what you sow.”

        • Snark Tank of Deplorables

          That must be in the same part of the Bible as “Love thy neighbor” and “Blessed are the meek.”

          • Jukesgrrl

            And “render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s.” Which I was reminded of when my white super-Christian landscaper wanted to be paid in a way that would enable him to avoid taxes.

          • jmk

            Also too, “thou shalt not bear false witness,” which they do with the bullshit they peddle all the damned time.

    • cat cafe

      Alt-Wrong is GENIUS!

  • JohnBull

    How can the blahs throw the election when they’re only three-fifths of a person?

  • Truly Madly Derply

    FFS. How much longer can Conway twitter?
    SWIDT?

    • mackafritz

      Boo.

    • Before she’s taken away in a set of Roy Acuff’s?

    • Fartknocker

      Long enough for Conway to get to jail and have some bologna and beans served from an Earnest Tubb.

    • Arolpin

      About as long as Dick can Trickle?

    • proudgrampa

      YES. ISWYDT. Well done!

    • Truly Madly Derply

      She’s lookin’ a little Haggard. Bet she won’t mind Parton with the Trump train wreck-unless she doesn’t get her Cash.
      K, I’m done.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Lies. Those laws also block many young voters and many elderly voters.

  • BearLeft

    The mainstream media are clearly ignoring the massive numbers of Venusian and Martians voting in this race. In addition, I’ve personally spoken to several dead people who plan to vote. The whole thing is a fucking travesty: They’ll probably even let that orange guy vote!

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Did he register?

      • eddi

        Like his kids? Who has time for these details?

    • Repugs are letting fruits and vegitables vote. Shocking!

    • Big Boppa

      Venusians and Martians voting??? I think you’re just pullin’ that out of Uranus.

      • SeekingBarbie

        No, really, most of the Federation is in on the conspiracy. The Ferengi are holding out because they think the Donald follows the Rules of Acquisition.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Vote early, vote often! That’s my motto. And remember – turkeys ain’t the only thing that’s made for stuffin’!

  • mancityfooty

    So ABC’s head line is: “Clinton Campaign Venturing Further Into GOP Territory”
    While Politico’s is: “Clinton goes for the kill in Arizona”
    Huh.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Killary!! Crazed blood demon harbinger of the apocalypse! Not to mention somewhat frumpy dresser.

      • edith prickly

        #killerpantsuits

        • theblackdog

          #DemShoulderPads

    • yyyaz

      Just pushed in the vote knife a teeny-weensy micrometer farther with my trusty mail-in assassin’s kit.

  • Swampay

    “I’ll look for . . . well, it’s called racial profiling. Mexicans. Syrians.” says some asshole in Ohio, because he can tell a Syrian from an Israeli at 40 paces. Mr. A-in-O knows his Mediterranean ethnicities, he’s a renowned expert.

    Oh wait, he just means brown people. Anybody browner than a manila envelope is probably doing something illegal. That’s all right then.

    Carry on.

    • eddi

      He will when the cops Tase and cuff him. “Violating my civil rights!”

    • Arolpin

      Anyone whiter than a VANILLA envelope…. FTFY.

      (Yes, I’m aware that vanilla extract is actually dark brown, coconut milk didn’t scan as well.)

    • cat cafe

      And like he’s ever seen either a Mexican or a Syrian. He’d better get rid of his iPhone, though–invented by the son of a Syrian refugee. And stop eating any of the fresh vegetables and fruit in his grocery store–does he know who picked them???? Oh what am I thinking, he never eats fresh vegetables and fruit.

  • AnOuthouse

    Dead people have a vested interest in who is maintaining the cemetery. It would be disrespectful to disenfranchise them just because they smell bad.

    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      The otherly-animate are a much beleaguered voting block. The party that learns how to reach them will enjoy great success, since they’re the majority and almost all of them are of voting age!

  • Markuserektus
    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      And there’s Donnie at the center of everything, as is his right for being so awesome.

    • Nockular cavity

      It’s the laughing Hillarys that makes it.

    • BrianW

      Like the old turtle joke, it’s just Hillaries all the way down.

  • Donkey Option

    This entire argument hinges on a complete lack of understanding how the electoral college works.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Donald’s entire campaign hinges on a complete lack of understanding how the electoral college works.

      • Damian L

        …and everything else.

    • Courser

      Well, here in CO which is a so-called ‘Swing State’ they’re going to need a bit of luck with that – like going to each blah person’s house to watch them fill out their mail ballot.

      Vote by Mail BayBee!

      • JustDon’tSayPu55y

        same in CA. ‘Cept I haven’t seen my ballot yet.

        • cat cafe

          Mine came last week–you should get it soon.

          • JustDon’tSayPu55y

            Mrs. Dont got hers last week and even finished voting it over the weekend. I haz an impatients!

          • cat cafe

            If you don’t get it today, you should callz just in case, you still would hav a week to overcome any riggings of elections or false non-registrations. I am voting this weekend once I figures out all them proposition things.

          • JustDon’tSayPu55y

            Came in yesterday. USPS is a mess in my neighborhood. Regular carrier retired, and they’re playing catch-up, I think. Pretty sure that after two days of no delivery, I got two deliveries yesterday, the second being after 7PM. Anyway, the ballot is in hand, time to go through the 272-page voter guide.

          • cat cafe

            That’s good. I was just about to come post to you that my friend, who still didn’t get hers, actually called and they said they’re still actually mailing them out. Those propositions! We need a separate California Wonkette thread to figure them all out.

          • JustDon’tSayPu55y

            So yesterday we got applications to vote by mail. After we already got ballots. Gee, does that mean we can vote twice? Seems like a waste in this neighborhood.

        • Courser

          I should get mine this week.

    • cat cafe

      And reflects a really filthy truth about how the Republicans actually proceed on their part.

  • Joshua Norton

    Supposedly Trump is going to stock all polling places with his own people to watch for any voting improprieties. Like non-white people trying to cast a ballot.

  • azeyote

    it’s the greatest – have two people saying two different things at the same time – they have it covered –

    • FlownOver

      It says a lot that the Veep candidate is the one trying to sound reassuringly sane.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        And even more that this supposedly simple task is beyond him.

    • JerryRich

      This is how Kirk and Spock talked the robots into self-destruct.

  • vivian

    Somebody ain’t never been to no Red Lobster, that’s for sure.

  • Bill Slider

    So, after I drop my ballot in the box, I should announce Allah Akbar. I’ll report on the fun, if I survive.

    • proudgrampa

      I hope you’re being snarky, Bill. I wouldn’t do that if I were you..

      proudgrampa cares

      • cat cafe

        And isn’t it something that it’s come to this–simply saying “God is good” in a different language is perceived as a threat to the idiots.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Rubber cock libelz honey

      • UNIT Leftenant Anna

        Damn right. My rubber cock makes me *happy*.

    • YayConspiracy

      Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?

  • Joshua Norton

    Scotty “Fuck Me I’m Famous” Baio is having an RT meltdown because he thinks a snarky tweet is real!
    .
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/928fc889523cb360d6fcfe763f9f8a3e7c17ca35ccda7e69e598876359cdc482.jpg
    .

    • Vincent Ricola

      Pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! ~ washed up Scott Baio who hasn’t done anything noteworthy since 1983, the exception being that one time he got destroyed by Tamron Hall live on MSNBC.

      • cat cafe

        It’s so bizarre how he went so wrong, as compared to his co-stars Henry Winkler or Ron Howard. I wonder why.

        • John Smith

          Lack of talent?

          • MrCanoehead

            Lack of clue?

          • cat cafe

            The thing is, though, he was likable and cute, with a great sense of comic timing, if a bit lightweight. He wasn’t actually lacking in talent. He could easily have parlayed that into a career in middle age if he’d had a bit of a sense of humor about himself, a la Winkler, or, another good example, Bill Shatner. But he went down this road of bitterness and hate instead.

  • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

    When Melanoma bolts on the Orange Frippery, it will have been a RIGGED MARRIAGE!!

  • fawkedifiknow

    A distraction from Benghazi? Most of those nit wits think Benghazi is just a distraction from Whitewater, Travelgate, and the purchase of new White House china in 1993.

    • Michael Smith

      They built the new White House in China??? Damn these trade agreements!

      • Cindyinencinitas

        And they used the Polish mafia to do it.

        • MrCanoehead

          Damn that mafia and their stranglehold on the furniture polish market.

  • Scooby
    • cat cafe

      Wow, those white folks sure look “supreme” to me!

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        You’d figure the Master Race would have lower BMIs.

        • Beaumarchais?

          Experts Warn: “Inbreeding by Dwindling White Population Threatens Gene Pool”

          • YayConspiracy

            We don’t need no fucking experts!

          • MrCanoehead

            Bu-bu-but we’re genetically superior!

        • Cindyinencinitas

          And more supportive bras…

          • Jukesgrrl

            And they probably drive trucks with mudflaps that say “No Fat Chicks.”

    • YayConspiracy

      Like Greek statues, carved in pure marble, ready to achieve greatness.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Donald Trump keeps nattering

    Ha! Good one, Spiro.

  • Michael Smith

    I remember people in 2008 saying that they were going to buy guns – for if Obama wins, the blacks are going to take to the streets and seek revenge against white Americans (this is before Obama made America racist again).

    At the time, I was young and considered myself conservative, growing up as I did, under the tutelage of adults who said things like that. Yet I still thought that was a ridiculous thing to fear, and, in fact, an irresponsible paranoia to spread. In fact, it was the election of Obama and the “conservative” meltdown over it that kind of woke me up to the true nature of conservatism.

    However.. this time, I am a bit more nervous about post-election violence. But from Trumps supporters following his loss. This is a group of people who truly have a sense of entitlement, are well armed, and have a healthy contempt for the lives of people who disagree with them or don’t look like them.

    • cat cafe

      They are also a group of failures and losers, who can’t be bothered to get an education, or acquire a useful set of skills, or even learn anything about the world, but instead spend their days complaining, blaming other people, attending hate rallies in the middle of the day, and hanging around tattoo parlors and silkscreening “She’s a cunt” onto T-shirts. They like to make a lot of noise and threaten, but for the most part they are completely effectless in the world. And they somehow are under the impression that no one else is armed, which is wrong, and they will find out very quickly that the police, the FBI and ultimately the U.S. military will not be very impressed by their sedition and terroristic threats.

      • Michael Smith

        That is strangely comforting.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          I was talking to a guy Saturday who told me he had 10 guns. I laughed in his face. I said, You think your 10 puny guns are any match for a tank? Or a warship? Or a drone? Or an army? Of any country, let alone this one? He was shocked to his socks. He actually looked like he had never heard that reasoning before.

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            Nicely done. :)

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/57bf8cbe56fbda41d08bcb9d4f970c94fb00e638f0e71f80900224bd7ebf18d1.jpg

            Losers, this US Army tank has Uranium armor, advanced electronics, and a skilled crew. Your Glock ain’t nothing.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            IK,R????

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            I wanted to be either a Naval officer or a Tanker, but my health got in the way.

            But, when you’re used to 5 inch/38 naval cannon, Tomahawk Block IV missiles, and M1 tanks, you aren’t too impressed by Gunhumpers withtheir ARs and Glocks.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            I should have taken a picture of his face when I said it. He really did look shocked. And he comes from wealth, has an MBA, and is in his late 30s. Sad. Pathetic. Unfuckingbelievable, really.

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            Oh, I can imagine, You *Go* Cindy. :)

            I think my Pride bracelet is keeping the casual Morans from engaging me in these conversations, but I’m ready if they do.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            I will GO in your honor, girl.

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            XD Get some!

          • MrCanoehead

            Thing is, he’s played that movie over in his head literally thousands of times, and every time he’s the action hero who inevitably triumphs over the dozens of Bad Guys™ who despite overwhelming numbers never manage to shoot him, while he picks them off with uncanny accuracy. (cf. Star Wars, or the complete works of Arnold Schwarzeneger, or any action movie really.)

          • The gun lobby never mentions the fact that their wares aren’t that effective against big guns. Which probably means it’s more about the money with them rather than any ideological conviction.

  • chascates

    He’s going to create quite a devoted audience:

    Jared Kushner Talks of a Trump TV Network With a Media Deal Maker
    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/18/us/politics/donald-trump-tv-jared-kushner.html?mtrref=undefined&gwh=000A55F18E5A5C70589772E8E7C48014&gwt=pay

    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      And probably siphon off Sarah Palin viewers.

      • MrCanoehead

        Both of them.

  • Ray in VT

    There just couldn’t be a reason that Trump would lose if the election was fair, right? /s

    • Jukesgrrl

      Begs the question, if it’s so easy to fix an election then why isn’t he doing it? Don’t his supporters love him enough?

  • MamaBrown

    Hillary owns all the media? Somebody ought to tell them, they’ve been kinda rough on her for the last 30 years.

  • Khavrinen

    “You know, Them.”

    So you’re saying you can only see how the election is being rigged if you’re wearing the right kind of sunglasses…

    [ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096256/?ref_=nv_sr_1 ]

    • Ray in VT

      Trump’s here to do two things: kick a** and grab pu**y.

      • BrianW

        And he’s all out of. . . comfortable shoes?

        • Ray in VT

          And Tic-Tacs.

          • BrianW

            When you’ve lost the Tic-Tac endorsement, well, . . . who really cares?

      • mailman27

        Art and putty?

    • clubseal

      RIP Roddy Piper.

    • mtn_philosoph

      Sing transit Gloria

      https://youtu.be/J0aHmMfZTEw

  • whitroth

    “Them”? Giant ants?

    • Barley_Brains

      DeForest Kelley libelz!

  • YayConspiracy

    Well, mrs. Conway, we’ve heard enough of the issues of Trump, thank you very much.

  • JParkerSD46

    Can Giulianni and Gingrich please just go fuck themselves? Better yet, each just go stick their shriveled up little Trumps into the others mouth. That might keep them quiet.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      nah, anyone can talk with a toothpick in their mouth.

  • mailman27

    Right before he started lying, did Gingrich say “frankly?” It’s kind of a tell with him.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      You mean like Donald (He doesn’t mind if we call him Donald, right?) says, “Believe me?”

  • DougW659

    “…Rudolph W. Giuliani, a former mayor of New York…”

    It should now be required to ALWAYS refer to Rudy Giuliani as “… A former US Attorney that somehow failed to ever charge or convict EVEN ONE of the millions of fraudulent voters that he just KNOWS were rigging all the elections…”

  • Celtic_Gnome
  • Nick.Trite

    You know, since the Trump campaign is pretty much 100% projection (I’m not a molester, you’re a molester; I’m not doing coke, you’re doing coke; etc.), I look forward to our new Russian hacker overlords graciously helping along our election and helping us install Supreme Huge President for Life Bigly Generalissimo Trump.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Fucking loser. He knows he’s not going to win and is now looking for a justification.

    • MrCanoehead

      Someone needs to compile a list of Trump’s inevitable excuses for losing, so when he finally does we can yell, “Called it!”

      Let’s start off:
      It was rigged.
      I would’ve won if I hadn’t gone easy on her.
      I actually did win, in that while I didn’t become president I did advance my agenda and exposed [sic] Hillary, which is what I really wanted all along.
      Pfft. Who’d want to be president anyway? I can accomplish more as a freelance blowhard.
      I got the votes of all the Real Americans, so I’m actually the real winner.
      This was all a brilliant publicity stunt for my hotels/golf courses/upcoming TV network.
      Just laying the groundwork for my inevitable win in 2020.
      Who would’ve thought a political outsider like me could’ve gotten this far? Everyone said I couldn’t even get the nomination. I proved them all wrong, amirite? That’s the real victory.
      America doesn’t deserve me. You had your chance!

      • Walter Wellstone

        Trump was bitching about the Primary process being rigged when he was worried he was going to lose to Cruz. Then, when he won, he said publicly that he stopped making those claims because he won, which means it’s only a problem when he’s losing. This is no different. He knows he’s going to lose and he’s already making excuses because that’s just the kind of turd he is.

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    I’m going to really enjoy voting at my first rigged election!

  • Brainiac

    After stating that the country has been done a disservice by the media in regards to getting a chance to hear the issues when it comes to Trump

    Maybe if he spent less time fat shaming people… never mind.

  • motmelere

    So the new line is that MSM is #rigged for Hillary. Alt Right response is to lie their asses off on an hourly basis. EVERYBODY DOES IT!!!!!!1!

  • I AM R U

    Obviously voter fraud in the US, like Australia, is super low – low enough to have no influence over the result :/ How do people actually believe that the election is “rigged”??

    • MrCanoehead

      Well, either it’s rigged or most people think they’re wrong. And how could anyone possibly think they’re wrong?

      • I AM R U

        They probably have a massive confirmaiton bias happening as well, where everyone THEY know and ask is apparently voting for Trump – so surely that means he has LOADS of support, right? And the polls are just left-wing media rubbish!!!

        I bet a fair few women are telling the Trump supporting men in their lives that oh yeah, they’re TOTALLY voting Trump, but actually intend to vote Clinton or not vote at all.

    • OleBadDog

      There are millions of dead people on voter rolls across the country that Democrats refuse to purge.That combined with no requirement for ID and fraudulent absentee votes are an easy way to commit voter fraud.It was done to elect Obama and will be done to Elect The Shape Shifting Self Serving Pathological Lying Global Grifter CarpetBagger

      • I AM R U

        Prove it :)

        • OleBadDog
          • At the corner, turn left

            Sooo, you’re using an overtly right-wing biased site to prove your overtly right-wing nutjobbery. Elections expert J. Christian Adams, hmmm? You mean this guy from Conspiracies Я Us?
            Fox & Friends’ Voter Fraud Expert Is A Conspiracy Theorist Who Claimed The DOJ Was Hostile To White People and other chemtrailish nitwittery? Bad dog indeed.

          • OleBadDog

            So you’re saying there are not dead people on voter rolls ??? and the only reason Dems are against Voter ID is fraud PERIOD

          • At the corner, turn left

            I’m saying your so-called ‘expert’ is an conspiracy-minded idiot who lives in a fantasy world of voting zombies and that the Dems, i.e. sane people, are against voter ID because it was designed by scared Republicans for a problem that doesn’t exist and that discriminates against minorities, who tend to vote Democratic because of stupid Republican moves like voter ID. Got that?

          • OleBadDog

            He’s an expert that worked for the election commission that knows 1st hand what’s going on and you have to have a GD ID to do anything in this country and everyone has one.To claim discrimination against minorities is just another lie to commit voter fraud so GFYS

          • At the corner, turn left

            He’s a conspiracy clown whose right hand suspects his left hand just because it’s left. Voter ID is just like gerrymandering voting districts, Republican tactics to suppress Democratic votes. It’s unethical and un-American. Voter fraud on the scale your fevered imagination sees is a myth: 31 fraudulent votes in the last one billion cast. Ooooo, bigly problem – not. If you can’t face the reality of discriminatory voter suppression tactics, you can go perform autofornication. You should also stop huffing those chemtrails.

          • Odd Jørgensen

            But do those dead people vote?

          • I AM R U

            Do you have a source even slightly less ridiculous?

          • OleBadDog

            You wouldn’t recognize the truth if it grabbed you by the possy

          • Odd Jørgensen

            So if dems are guilty of widespread voter fraud, how do you explain the Rs being elected? House and senate under R control, that`s some shitty voterfrauding by the dems.

          • I AM R U

            I’ll take that as a no, then :)

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