good luck, there's a brown man on the plane
My god…The Co-Pilot’s a Muslim, too!

Our Corporate air transporters are very sensitive to passenger concerns. Not so much about air travel, but definitely about baseless accusations of terrorism.

Maybe They Only Profiled Him Because He Went To Berkeley

On October 5, Muslim advocacy organization CAIR filed a complaint with the U.S. Department of Transportation concerning an incident in April in which Southwest Airlines removed Iraqi-American Khairuldeen Makhzoomi, a 26-year-old Berkeley graduate, from a plane at Los Angeles International Airport. He probably did something really bad like molest a teenager or slap a black baby.

Once seated, [Makhzoomi] had made a brief call to his uncle in Baghdad, telling him how excited he was to ask a question to the UN secretary-general, Ban Ki-moon, during a dinner the previous day. Before hanging up, he said the Islamic phrase in Arabic of “inshallah”, meaning “God willing”.

Ban Ki-Moon?? Was the question, “What airline should I terrorize with my exotic language?” Back when this was first reported, Yr Wonkette mocked the usual lunatic suspicious of the UN and its diabolical socialist plans. Luckily the passenger in seat 1776USofA came to the rescue.

[Makhzoomi] noticed a woman staring at him as he hung up the phone. He thought at first she had been irritated by how loud he was speaking.

Oh, I’m sure she was bothered by that as well. The citizen air marshal notified airline employees and within minutes multiple uniformed authority figures escorted Makhzoomi (no relation to Doktor MakhZoomi) from the plane.

An agent escorted him outside and asked him why he was speaking in Arabic considering “today’s political climate”.

Honestly, why was he using his native language to speak with a relative in an Arabic-speaking country? This is one of the story’s many mysteries — like why don’t the calming oxygen masks automatically deploy whenever a passenger uses Farsi, Arabic, or one of THOSE languages?

After realizing how stupid they looked, law enforcement apologized, correct?

“You need to be very honest with us with what you said about the martyrs. Tell us everything you know about the martyrs,” the agent said to him.

The political science graduate explained he had only said “God willing”, and the questioning soon ended — but not before dogs were brought in to sniff his luggage, he was searched and his wallet was taken away.

A young Iraqi talking loudly about martyrs — or at least God, who surely wants martyrs — on a plane, eh? Sounds like a totally devious terrorist mastermind. Sorry for the mixup, though! And stop calling God “Shirley.” But after this violation of Makhzoomi’s privacy that caused him to miss his flight, they apologized to him, correct?

[Makhzoomi] has called on the airline to apologise since they have failed to do so since 6 April

Well we can’t expect Southwest to maintain its low prices if it spends all its time apologizing to every brown guy who’s wrongly removed from a flight.

Not So Funny When It Happens To A Paleface, Is It?

Speaking of grave injustices, fossil fuel consultant Mary Campos just wanted to board her United Airlines flight when the ticket agent up and told her she was going to have to move seats because the two dudes seated next to her have “cultural beliefs that prevent them from sitting next to, talking to or communicating with females.”

Campos was flabbergasted because not only were these men, these were Pakistani priests who travel with seriously sexist restrictions.

Like Campos, we’re inclined to say ‘F these guys’ and their demands. Take your coach seat and suffer like the rest of us — with The Big Bang Theory blaring on a monitor you can’t shut off. But United decided to acquiesce to the priests’ demands, thus deescalating any possible confrontation or awkwardness. Was it the right thing to do? Not in Ms. Campos’s opinion.

“I thought I lived in a culture where females were equal to men,” Campos said.

“What, America?!” everyone answered. And we all had a good laugh while somebody pulled out a wage inequality chart.

At this point, Campos is not going to sue, but she makes two demands of United:

  • Apologize to every female that was on that plane, including their employees.
  • Change their policy.

We get being stubborn on principle. That takes up most of our spare time. But let’s take a couple monastic moments of reflection to really consider what happened here.

Did Mary Campos receive an inferior seat? Did any harm come to her in the new seat? Was she forced to sit between Todd Starnes and Alex Jones? That would be a human rights violation. Otherwise, sorry Mary. Mr. Makhzoomi was discriminated against. You were slightly inconvenienced because a couple of passengers possess antiquated beliefs that aren’t cool with most American air travelers, and you’d be perfectly justified in giving them the stink eye and a copy of The Feminine Mystique. And United, you may want to rethink accommodating the requests of people with medieval gender beliefs — if it happens again, bump the lady to First Class.

[Editrix’s note: I’m with the lady. Fuck those guys, and United bowing to someone’s shitty religious belief that women shouldn’t be seen or heard is discriminatory. Isn’t it nice how we can all disagree?]

[Independent / CBS News]

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  • (((JustPixelz)))

    I blame Obama for not saying the magic words.

    • The Wanderer

      “Non illegitimi carborundum?”

      • FlownOver


        • The Wanderer

          “Sic transit gloria!”
          “I didn’t know Gloria was sick.”

          • cat cafe

            “Do you enjoy gladiator movies, son?”

        • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

          Hey, why did I just drop my corn dog?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • weejee

      Is this a sad GOP version of mob bosses doing the Al Capone lament “I pay my taxes?”

      • The Wanderer

        It’s better than the Eunuch’s Lament: “Cut off in my prime . . . “

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Just, this was totally a thing with Republican prosecutors under Bush.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I’m with Trix, but only if Campos then went on to say, now that UAL has woke me, I see how systemic oppression works and I will support Black Lives Matter and NoDAPL and Planned Parenthood and vote Progressive forevermore.

    • h4rr4r

      That is exactly what should have been done.

      Yes, customer with a restriction on who may sit near you, we are happy to help you by letting you buy any seats you wish to control.

  • Spotts1701

    Southwest Airlines used to be a little better at this whole “customer service” thing. Now they seem to have adopted “Not only is the customer wrong, they must be punished for their insolence” mindset.

  • The Wanderer

    The Federal judge who pimp-slapped (p)Rick Scott and extended voter registration until 10/12 has handed down his ruling. It’s another, harder pimp-slap: Voter registration is extended until 10/18/16.
    Quoth the judge, “There is nothing more precious than having a voice in elections.”

    • Ryan Denniston

      Bet Donald feels like shit now, huh? Probably not; he’s used to hurling routine, undeserved insults to people who follow him, and I’m sure his followers are used to abuse.

      • The Wanderer

        Trump probably has no idea. This was a Florida matter, and instigated by That Asshole in Tallahassee.

        • Ryan Denniston

          Nah, I mean telling the unregistered people at his rally in Florida today to “get the hell out of here.”

          • The Wanderer

            Ah! Now I feel bad, since I just saw where he’d said that.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            You would think that he’d take it as an opportunity to encourage his base, if they’re not registered, to get their asses registered and vote for him. But no, Donald is too busy being the world’s most loud asshole to see the advantage to this.

    • dslindc

      “But judge, we can’t win if we don’t cheat! Waaaaaaaah!”

      -Gov. Skeletor, probably

  • weejee

    OT: Putin ally and general douche nozzle Vladimir Zhirinovsky sez vote tRump or it’s Armageddon.

    • The Wanderer

      Lawsy, Zhirinovsky’s still alive? I would have thought he’d die of a superfluity of black bile long before now.

      • Captain Kraut

        Oh, I’m sure he thrives on bile.
        He’s a perfect example for the old Russian concept of a useful idiot.

    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      I know a bit about what’s happened with Russia’s strategic capability since the end of the USSR, and I’m pretty sure the only way they could deliver nuclear warheads to the US is by FedEx.

  • anna rampage

    Every time I read about a Muslim, or Sikh getting kicked off of a plane, this little gem always comes to mind…

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      For long international flights, I often wish there was a bong on the plane.

      • Arolpin

        That’s why they make sippy pens. Or edibles.

  • h4rr4r

    They actually cared about these guys religious beliefs?
    How far can we take this? My religion requires free gin and tonics during the entire flight.

    • The Farce Side

      Sign me up! Do we tithe with limes?

      • h4rr4r

        Well the restriction is very simple, the closer we get to god the more we must consume. So as altitude increases, the frequency of drinks gets higher.

        If you have any medical restrictions you may of course substitute with our holy plant.

        We don’t tithe, that would be a waste of valuable limes.

        Also anyone who uses vodka in a gin drink is a heretic and must be banned from our flights.

        • Lulu Mac

          I, however, am a member of the Potato Reformation and we believe in Sola Vodkura, wherein vodka is the supreme authority in all matters of doctrine and practice.

          • arglebargle

            I’m with you. After all, gin is just vodka with an infusion of poisonous juniper berries.

          • Grizz1y

            What’s wrong with adding a little poison to your poison? At least we’re not feeding it to babbies. They can buy their own damn gin.

          • JH Marx

            One time, if it wasn’t for the deviled eggs that made me puke, I believe the gin would have killed me. No gin since.

          • h4rr4r

            Like I said heretics.

          • Historicat

            I’m with the Church of Universal Libation – we believe in the freedom to drink according to one’s conscience.

        • The Farce Side

          Where does that put us regarding gin and gingers?

          • h4rr4r

            Gin should be cold, gingers should be hot. The scriptures are very clear on this.

        • Captain Kraut

          Thanks, but I’ll stick with rum, sodomy and the lash.

    • Grizz1y

      Mine also requires free upgrades to First Class.

    • Snark Tank of Deplorables

      Gin is the devil’s drink. MY God requires good ol’ ‘Murican Jack and coke.

      • h4rr4r

        Trump voter like typing detected.

    • AngryKatie

      Best. Religion. Ever.

    • dslindc

      Finally! A religion I could consider joining instead of mocking online like I do the others.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    While in reality he was talking to his father, in lady racist’s mind, this is what she saw

  • Ryan Denniston

    You’d have thought that in 15 years, airlines would have figured out how to handle True Patriots on their flights.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Sleeping pills?

      • weejee

        Jump seats?

    • Kevin Morin

      A special section? (Mind Your Own) Business Class?


    “Fuck those guys, and United bowing to someone’s shitty religious belief”

    How much effort does it take to politely ask someone to switch seats with you if you don’t want to be seated next to the person assigned? Why should this be Mary Campos’ problem.

    Or another approach, how about going online and selecting your seats together before you board the plane.

  • Joe Beese

    Unbearably depressing profile of a survivor of one of our secret CIA prisons in Afghanistan.

    Mr. Salim was one of 39 men subjected to some of the C.I.A.’s most brutal techniques — beatings, hanging in chains, sleep deprivation and water dousing, which creates a sensation of drowning, even though interrogators had been denied permission to use that last tactic on him, according to a Senate Intelligence Committee investigation into the agency’s classified interrogation program. …

    Desperate, Mr. Salim decided that suicide was his only escape. He hoarded the ibuprofen pills he sometimes was given, hiding them in the waistband of his pants. When he thought he had enough — 26 tablets — he tried to take them all at once. A guard, probably alerted by images from a video camera in the cell, rushed in and stopped Mr. Salim just as he began swallowing.

    As he recounted the episode to a reporter, Mr. Salim began to cry uncontrollably, placed his arm across his face and rushed from the hotel room. Two days passed before he agreed to finish telling his story.

    Mr. Obama added that he also had “a belief that we need to look forward as opposed to looking backwards.”

    “And part of my job,” he continued, “is to make sure that, for example, at the C.I.A., you’ve got extraordinarily talented people who are working very hard to keep Americans safe. I don’t want them to suddenly feel like they’ve got spend their all their time looking over their shoulders.”

    • clubseal

      For me, that’s the defining statement of Obama’s presidency, unfortunately. It’s the antithesis of accountability, and truly harms our ability to talk about justice to anybody.

  • bubbuhh

    All the airlines suck. If I have any alternative, I don’t fly commercially.

    • clubseal

      And boy are your arms tired!

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “Boom, tish.”

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      I hate when they give me a layover at the Empire State Building.
      What?! Too soon?!!

      • WIDTAP

        No, Mr. Kong. Our biplanes should be arriving shortly to service you.

    • chortlingdingo

      Probably because they all work together to keep it that way. All the little airlines that offer competitive pricing and better seats are being bought up by the big guys. Pretty soon it’ll just be two or three airlines and they’ll all charge the same prices and the seats will be more and more cramped.

      What ever happened to anti-monopoly laws?

  • TheGrandWaz00

    “I’m the only one who can fix the problem of Muslims on a plane!”

    • Reneerpope4

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ap566f:
      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash846DigitalUniversityGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ap566f:….,…..

  • proudgrampa

    See something, say something seems really stupid…

  • Logic of Color

    Neither Makhzoomi nor Campos should have been made to feel like “less than”. Sure, maybe the degree of discrimination was different but I mean seriously, fuck those guys. They should be forced to buy an extra ticket for an empty seat. But defending the airline against the woman is like refusing to make the penis cake and referring the customer to the next “perfectly good” bakery down the street..

    • aureolaborealis

      You are furthering a fallacy (heheh), with the penis cake analogy. Ain’t nobody asking Xtian bakers to make penis cakes. Just regular cakes, but for queers. It is this false equivalency that makes the knuckle-draggers think they have checkmated the libtards when, e.g., a lesbian baker refuses to make a swastika cake. Except that she doesn’t make swastika cakes for anyone – even her lesbian besties – and the Xtian baker is in the business of making cakes EXACTLY like the one the gay couple ordered.

      • Logic of Color

        Fair enough…just adhering to standard Wonkette parlance

  • ken_kukec

    [Commenter’s note: I’m with Editrix on this one. Screw the religiosi if they can’t comport themselves with facially neutral secular rules.]

  • clubseal

    Can this United policy work the next time someone brings a crying baby on board? Asking for a friend for me, motherfucker.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Well, it could be a cunning disguise for a bomb. Because these cunning terrorists are cunning.

      • thixotropic jerk

        >Insert cunning linguists joke here<

    • Kevin Morin

      Depends on what language the baby is crying in.

  • AngryKatie

    I have a friend that legally changed her name, puts on her best SoCal accent, and tries to pass for Latina when she travels.

    Having a name that includes ‘bint Muhammad bin Tariq al…’ means you get a lot of pat downs and miss flights now and then due to “random” security checks. And god forbid they call your name over the PA because they want to see you at the desk.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      If the turrerist were smart, they’d all change their names to the whitest of white people names they can find.

      • AngryKatie

        Right? Because she hasn’t been frisked or had her luggage pawed through once since the name change. Seriously.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Being a gay from the South, I would rather enjoy being on a flight where I’m not subjected to nosy, intrusive, big-haired, but “well-meaning” middle aged Christian women who insist on “sharing” with me the Good News of Jesus Christ, their personal savior.

    Believe me, the only good news I want to hear is that I’m getting complimentary vodka tonics the entire duration of the flight.

    • Lulu Mac

      Please join our new religion (see below…)

      • elviouslyqueer

        Amen, sister. AMEN.

  • Marceline

    I’d let them move me only if I got four first class tickets to fly anywhere in the world that never expire. IOW, I would make it cost them thousands of dollars.

    • mardam422

      Well, it was Southwest. No first class. And anywhere in the world would have to be limited to somewhere between Bakersfield and Pittsburgh.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Kansas City, Kansas City here I come…

      • Marceline

        Then they’d have to write me a check.

    • timpundit

      Ok, that I would do. But I’d make it clear I’m only doing it for the reward and not out of respect for their religion.

  • Jen B_VA

    Next time I fly, I am going to request that, thanks to my allergic reaction to religion, I sit only with atheists. Or, at least, agnostics.

  • thixotropic jerk

    When I fly my religion requires all the attractive female passengers to kiss me and present their pussies for grabbing

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      I find this quite interesting and would like to subscribe to your religious pamphlets.

    • Courser

      I would imagine you don’t fly a lot.

    • ez

      Donald, what happened to that jet with your name plastered all over it? Seized as evidence or something?

  • Michael Smith

    What’s up with airline food though, right?

    • Jamoche

      a) the low air pressure fucks your taste buds
      b) they don’t trust you with anything but sporks, which rules out any decent food

    • Roadstergal

      You haven’t had enough to drink.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I have to go with the Editrix. What next? if your religion says that menstruating females are unclean, you get to question flight attendants about their periods?

    • Me not sure

      You don’t already?

    • Courser

      I’ve worked closed with both observant Muslims and Orthodox Jews and I made a single accommodation for males when I was of reproductive age. Upon introduction, I wouldn’t automatically extend my hand for a handshake until they did to avoid any awkardness if they’re THAT observant.

      None of them ever failed to do so. Which tells me that thinking people of any religion make accommodations for working wiht folks who don’t share their beliefs.

  • Me not sure

    I have religious beliefs that require me to sit in the cockpit with my co-pilot, God….oh…and a box cutter.

  • chicken thief

    I’m with Matt. Being asked to move to a different seat of equal or greater comfort is no big deal. I agreed to such a move once a hunnerd years or so ago when two long lost friends happened to re-unite on a flight. I just asked that they cleared it with the flight crew first, then we switched seats.

    • Jen B_VA

      True. I have been asked to move so couples could sit together, or a kid could be with the parents, or because I had a kid myself.
      No big so long as I get a seat really.

      • timpundit

        I would defininatly move seats if that was the reason, but not because someone’s imaginary friend wanted me to move.

        • Roadstergal

          I happily move if real people want to sit next to each other. I don’t move if an imaginary person thinks I’m icky.

    • timpundit

      I’m with Team Rebecca, fuck those deeply held beliefs if they treat fellow humans as untouchable or dirty or whatever. They can practice their weird magic shit somewhere else, and that goes for the christianists and everyone else too.

      • FurryCaterwauling

        In what world are women lepers to be shunned? Not mine!

        Traveling on an airplane waives certain “luxuries,” such as choosing who will sit next to you. If it is such a big deal, I see two options: purchase an extra “buffer” seat or travel by oxcart. The former will probably not work, because the airlines pack the “busses” (aircraft in aviation-speak) and overbook. I suggest the oxcart method, which is more consistent with their apparent 7th-Century belief system.

    • ThirdAmendmentMan

      I’ve moved seats if people asked and it wasn’t a move to a middle seat. No big deal. But if someone tries to make me? Well it better be to a better seat or you can fuck the hell off.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Bump to First Class sounds like the classy way to do this.

    So, naturally, United chose not to do it.

    • Jen B_VA

      Unite’d slogan used to be Fly the friendless skies, right?

      • ImGoingBacon

        you spelled Untied wrong.

    • Roadstergal

      Or, if First Class was full, bump the dudes to a less-full flight where they can have the back row to themselves.

  • Roadstergal

    If they don’t want to sit next to the wimminz, they can buy the row of seats.

    “cultural beliefs that prevent them from sitting next to, talking to or communicating with females”

    So that means they don’t need to listen to the safety briefing? Maybe they should drive. And not ask Siri for directions.

    • pstockholm

      All the way from Pakistan. I’d chip in for gas.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    They couldn’t have just moved those two guys instead of her??? Yeah, harder to find two seats together, but that’s their damn problem.

    If it were me, and I were in the right (read: wrong) mood, I would have raised a really big stink… probably by farting.

  • whitroth

    Did you see the story, a few months ago, where an economist who was doing calculus was pulled off a plane, because the ignorant idiot thought it was Arabic?

    I swear, I get pulled off a plane, and we’re talking a $50M lawsuit against the airline, with the person who complained as a co-defendant. See how *THEY* like taking re$$$spon$$$ibility for their paranoid actions.

    “Home of the brave and the free”, my ass.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Preach it, my brother.

  • goonemeritus

    I have a deeply held cultural belief that prevents me sharing my armrest. Also depending on the time of day I prefer to be seated next to people who are in a coma.

    • Me not sure

      I think we’d get along fine because I have no compunctions against putting my fellow travelers IN a coma. I’m a helper that way.

    • pstockholm

      I’d prefer the coma myself. In fact I’d pay extra to fly ComaAir, where they put you out at the beginning, and then wake you at the end.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        THAT’S what I call service.

      • goonemeritus

        When my kids were small but old enough to reason with I had them convinced if they took a nap on long drives we would instantly be transported to our destination. They called it nap-o-travel

    • Big Boppa

      I have a deeply held cultural belief that requires me to be seated next to that 12 year old girl who looks just like Paris Hilton.

      –Donald Trump

      • Roadstergal

        And I wouldn’t bang her. Not on the flight. At lest not in coach. I never get credit!

  • Donkey Option

    If a guy has such antiquated beliefs, then they should use a more antiquated way of travelling. It doesn’t matter what religion they are, that is stupid. They knew ahead of time that there would be women on the plane, and unless they want to buy an entire section of the plane, then they shouldn’t fly.
    But going back to the Southwest thing – at the time didn’t the woman say that she knew Arabic and he was talking about Martyrs but that it was in context of the talk? What ever happened to the whole “she knew what he was saying and so while it was stupid it wasn’t that stupid”? Can anyone clarify that for me?

  • Me not sure

    I personally don’t trust any passenger that doesn’t drink.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      There was a time back in the day when it was practically required for everyone, including the pilot. Ah, the Sixties!

      • Me not sure

        It’s all a blur to me now….No wait,…it was then too.

        • Jamoche

          If you can remember the 60s, you weren’t there.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I’m with the lady too. Religion belongs at home and at your place of worship. If you can’t leave it there, don’t get on a plane (and don’t open a bakery). And they should have bumped the lady up to First or Business Class, then everyone would have been happy.

    Did these two men indicate their flying restrictions at the time of purchasing the tickets? If so, they should have been required to buy a third ticket to guarantee non-contamination by females. Also, were the female stewards allowed to serve them? The article doesn’t say. I know what I would have done in this case. I would have sat next to the two men and loudly announced I was having my period.

    • Cool_North

      Better yet, they should consider using means of transportation that are more in sync with their backward beliefs, like a donkey, or a boat with oars, or the ever classical walking.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Perhaps they should just stay home and abuse their own women. That sounds nasty and cruel, but what I mean is we don’t need any more abusive men in the US, we already have too many.

    • Big Boppa

      I would have found the fattest guy on the plane and sat him next to them with a big bowl of complimentary jalapeno bean dip.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        How about an obnoxious 5-yr-old with ADHD and a runny nose????

  • TundraGrifter

    Why didn’t United just tell them if they didn’t want to sit next to anybody they should purchase a third ticket?

    • DainBramage

      Now that would make sense.

  • Oblios_Cap

    They were both right to be pissed off. Did the Iraqi guy ever get his wallet back?

    First we fucked up his country, then we steal his shit when he’s in ours. Who do we think he is, a Native American?

  • Any bets on how long it will be before someone like Trump demands a separate but equal airplane for brown people?

    • DainBramage

      Airplane? Don’t they have busses for that?

      • Big Boppa

        Don’t they have busses boxcars for that?


  • Suse
  • chiefkurtz

    Yes, let’s stop spending our energies accommodating all of them, and start accommodating NONE of them.

  • Brianna Amoré

    Hey y’all, don’t forget that this is also a problem for ultra Orthodox Jews who refuse to fly with women and have been known to hold up entire flights. It’s not just Muslims.

    • MississippiLefty

      I was literally just about to paste this link. I’m with the ladies on this one. Not cool to make me change my seat because of your religious beliefs about “girls yuck!”

    • Roadstergal

      Fuck those guys, too.

      “it was acceptable for a Jewish man to sit next to a woman on a subway or bus so long as there was no intention to seek sexual pleasure from any incidental contact.”

      What is up with these sex-obsessed god-botherers? Who thinks of sitting next to someone on a gorram commercial flight as a temptation to sexual pleasure from incidental contact?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Ex-freakin’-actly. No reason to coddle the delusional or humor the bigoted. Fuck ’em.

      • Brianna Amoré

        All roads lead back to Abraham, the original sex-obsessed god-botherer.

    • mailman27

      It’s way past time for us to stop crawling on our bellies to accommodate people who require the rest of us to listen to the voices in their heads.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I don’t know what religion these guys were. The woman who was asked to switch seats described them as “Pakistani monks” and apparently no one has tried to explain that any further. I don’t know of many monastic orders in Pakistan or how she determined that that is who they were.

  • SullivanSt

    You want an “no girls, they’re eew!” flight, buy the whole row. Otherwise your rights stop where another’s begin, so suck it.

    • I am, however, completely in favour of rhe option to travel child free. And would pay significantly to do so

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I have two kids and I would pay to be on flights just with other families with kids. Then I could finally stop worrying myself into fits over whether or not my crying son was upsetting everyone else.

        Either that, or a dedicated soundproof cabin for kids under 10.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Two things:

    1) Yeah, that’s the first thing a determined terrorist bomber is going to do – talk loudly into a cell phone in Arabic before the plane takes off. Yup. Shrewd!

    2) I’m with Rebecca. Fuck those guys and their sexist, superstitious bullshit. 100% pure contempt, no additives.

    • A Bashful Nobody


  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Fuck ’em. (Sorry, sorry…with votes.) God can miracle their ass to wherever they need to be.

    • Jon Sussex

      I hear Al-Burāq Airlines has seats available on the night flight.

  • Panika MCD

    I’m not with ‘Trix. if it was two Muslim women who didn’t want to sit next to Marco Campos because of their religious beliefs, we’d be defending them because they shouldn’t be banned from the friendly skies just because of their faith. the priests were not demanding or even suggesting anyone on the flight convert. it’d be nice to bump Ms. Campos to first class, but at least not putting her in the “how many hours have I been waiting to exit this fucking metal tube since we got to the gate have passed?” seats would be fine (unless she has a weak bladder, then they’re doing her a kindness by putting her next to the bathrooms and giving her an extra packet of peanuts). and, yes, it is a violation of my religion to be subjected to Todd Starnes or Alex Jones against my will.

    • Roadstergal

      “if it was two Muslim women who didn’t want to sit next to Marco Campos because of their religious beliefs, we’d be defending them because they shouldn’t be banned from the friendly skies just because of their faith. ”

      Why would I be defending them? If you’re flying, you have to be wiling to sit next to a man, woman, trans man, trans woman, ace, or whatever human who happens to be there as long as they behave halfway decently in a general sense. (STFU and leave me alone, and give me… come on, just half… ok, fine, I didn’t need the armrest anyway…)

      • Panika MCD

        I can see not defending them if they insisted a transperson should not be able to use the facilities during their flight. I seriously don’t see the problem with asking to be seated next to someone of the same gender due to religious beliefs. however, I do believe it would be helpful for everyone if these beliefs were declared in notes with their booking along with their seat and food preferences.

        • Roadstergal

          I don’t have a problem with it as long as they arrange for it themselves. Serving a vegetarian meal? Easy. Rearranging passengers to someone’s arbitrary standards? Nope. If they want a menz row, they can buy the extra seat or put out whatever the Pakistani equivalent of a Craigslist ad for a third guy willing to take that flight with them.

          I want to be in a skinny-person row, but I’m not going to demand that the airline indulge me in that.

          • Panika MCD

            I think they can request being placed with the same gender. but if the booking person screws up, what should the airline do?

          • Roadstergal

            And suppose the same-gender person that they’re seated next to don’t like no Mooslims and requests not to be seated next to them? And what if the person next to the guy once he’s re-seated doesn’t want to sit next to a Christian? What if someone from Boys Only Club is seated, per preference, next to a man, but it’s a trans man and they say their sky-daddy doesn’t count that? What if they’re seated next to a pre-teen and demand proof of non-puberty to stay there? What if the person has Turner syndrome so they don’t have XX so they claim the Boys Only Club should be fine with it? It’s a silly can of worms that really doesn’t need opening.

          • Panika MCD

            an accommodation in good faith should be all the airlines needs to do to avoid a religious discrimination lawsuit. it’s a difficult balance, but doing anything that could result in additional RFRAs being passed is what I’m trying to avoid here. you don’t have to agree with me about it. likewise you really don’t have to like the 1st Amendment, but it’s not like you’re leading the campaign to overturn it. so why are we even arguing?

    • Vagandarian the Librarian!

      I’m with Roadstergal on this. I fly a lot and I like me my aisle seat, coz long legs. I’m not moving for anybody’s religious reasons. If your religion dictates no ladies (certain Jewish sects do as well), too bad so sad. We are a secular nation and your religion does not trump my comfort.

      • Panika MCD

        what if you say your religion says your legs are not allowed to cramp? I’m completely cool with that.

        • vivian

          I think she should have replied that HER religious beliefs REQUIRE her to sit next to two Muslim men and then let them sort it out.

          • Regret

            That would be perfect.

    • Barley_Brains

      No. I would not defend them. Their stupid ass religious beliefs mean nothing in a secular society.

      • Panika MCD

        a secular society that went out of their way to protect their right to free expression of their faith and has religion in nondiscrimination statutes the country over.

        • Barley_Brains

          A secular society that does not allow forced compliance with the religious views of other people: freedom from religion is the true definition of a secular society.

          • Panika MCD

            she wasn’t being asked to put on a veil and only fly in rows with women only. we have no idea what the gender makeup of her fellow passengers was where she was moved. and, again, I’m on the side of fewer RFRA laws. if those guys filed suit, you know what would happen? more fucking RFRA laws.

    • BrianW

      I would like to disagree with you on this, but I can’t in good conscience.
      Edit: the first part, not the Alex Jones part. That would be a crime against humanity.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Nope. I would not defend them. You want an empty seat next to you? Pay for it.

      • Panika MCD

        they didn’t say they wanted an empty seat next to them. they said they wanted someone of the same gender.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Well, though. They can either pay for an empty seat or go fuck themselves.

          • Panika MCD

            and then they sue the airlines and the religious right uses it as a means of saying “LOOK, WE DON’T HATE MUSLIMS! WE’RE GOING TO DEFEND THEIR RELIGIOUS RIGHTS!!! AS LONG AS THEY ARE SEXIST!!!!!!! JUST LIKE US!!!!!!!!” and we get more RFRA. this does not work out well for anyone.

    • Alan

      “…if it was two Muslim women who didn’t want to sit next to Marco Campos
      because of their religious beliefs, we’d be defending them….” Absolutely not. You want to request a different seat that’s your choice but inconveniencing someone else because of your archaic religious beliefs is not okay. Buy three seats together or don’t fly.

      • Panika MCD

        maybe I don’t see moving to another seat as a grave inconvenience because I’ve been orange carded so many times and those Imams have probably been orange carded 10 times as much. maybe I think that they probably got groped by a TSA agent and it’s not a huge imposition to ask one person to switch to a seat. and we have no evidence to show that the seat that she moved to provided any more inconvenience than regular air travel.

        • Alan

          But that’s not the point.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    My takeaway:
    1. Doing Ay-Rab talk on a cell phone just before take off is going to get your ass profiled and kicked off the plane.
    2. If you are a Latina you are so down on the social ladder that you can probably safely assume your life matters less than Pakistani men.

  • harryr

    Just looking too suspiciously like a Muslim will do it. There has been at least one case of a Middle Eastern Christian being thrown off a plane for using the word Allah (“God” in Arabic, for TSA readers) in a phone conversation with a fellow prayer group member.

  • Rick Hill

    Just have all the muslims(no concern for those percale fabrics, mind you) board every plane like this. After they’ve been extremely vetted, mind you. Preznit trump will handle the vetting o the hawtest womens, of course.

    • Historicat

      That’s going to be the next step and not just for Muslims.

      “Welcome to your flight! Did you bring your own adult diaper or do you want one of ours ($29.95)? Once you’ve put that on, our team will help you put on your straitjacket. Thanks for flying with us!”

  • jmk

    I’m with you, Trix.

    Twenty years ago, when I was flying very inexpensively to Paris ($99 each way – I swear to Crom) on Pakistan International Airlines, we were prevented from leaving the gate in NY because some white-garbed old creep got all tantrumy when he saw – not had to sit next to, but saw – a 20-something-year old African-American woman wearing a sundress, and he imperiously demanded that the goddess-like flight attendant remove the increasingly-infuriated woman from the cabin he was in and send her to the back of the plane, which she did, in as kind a way possible, while the creep kept yammering and yelling at everyone within earshot.

    I was pretty lit – thanks to PIA’s no alcohol policy, I got fully tanked before the flight – and I remember my ex had to shush me several times to stop me from voicing my disapproval, and I spent a lot of that flight being nice to the flight attendant this creepshow had barked at, shooting dagger looks at the back of his seat, and contemplating how difficult it must be for intelligent women to navigate a society in which douchebags like that got their way all the time.

  • Barley_Brains

    I’m with Trix. Fuck those guys and their medieval belief system.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Some people will go to extraordinary lengths to keep that middle seat empty.

  • chascates

    I’d rather sit next to President Assad than the usual drunk business guy who calls the flight attendants ‘honey’.

  • taco truck vagenda

    What Trix said.

  • ahughes798

    I’m with you, Rebecca! Fuck those guys. Practice your religion in private, like you’re supposed to.

  • pgjack

    If they don’t want contact with women they should stay the hell out of the US. We are a very lucky country and we have women pretty much everywhere. Oh, maybe they can hang around in men’s rooms.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    So, they got a third seat for free?

  • Oneofthebobs

    I hope that Mr Makhzoomi is vindictive, just because I want to read about makhzoomi’s revenge.

  • DutchS

    Anyone who freaks out over speaking Arabic on a plane should go on the no-fly list.

    Ditto anyone who complains about sitting next to a woman.

  • Mavenmaven

    As long as she doesn’t get seated next to Donald Trump…

  • psychobroad

    I’m with Editrix on this one all the way. As they said in (a feminist book that was very popular in the ’70s, early ’80s, can’t think of the title) their ( in this case religulosity, in the book’s case, sexuality) is YOUR problem. Don’t think so.

  • memzilla

    What’s that, you say? You don’t think Drumpf can get ANY MORE DISGUSTING?

  • mailman27


  • guppy06

    The political science graduate explained he had only said “God willing”


    “Inshallah,” which means “God willing,” is a term used by Arabic speakers to express that no future event will happen without God’s will. Colloquially, however, it is generally used to evade responsibilities while also giving the listener at least some
    hope that divine intervention will allow the task at hand to be completed.

    Husain says its meanings generally range somewhere between, “I will be at the meeting, but will be about thirty minutes late,” and, “Fuck yourself, I’m not doing that.”

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Sometimes that’s true. And sometimes people tack it on to the end of a sentence to keep from jinxing an event.

    • YakHerder

      Spanish-speakers use “primeramente Dios” the exact same way.

      • guppy06

        Reconquista took a little too long and bad habits rubbed off, I suppose.

        (Figuring out whose bad habit it was first is left as an exercise to the reader.)

        • NationalGalleryofClipArt

          Ojala sea…

          BONUS: it’s a borrowing from Arabic!

  • BFD

    They should have applied the Southwest policy and thrown the priests off the plane.

  • Alan

    I can’t get past the absurdity of asking a guy why he’s speaking the language he’s speaking. Um…because I speak it?

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