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Dear Sir or Madame: I am outraged by this blog's rampant pro-unicorn bias
AND ALSO FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Today, Wonkette staff writer Doktor Zoom — note, NOT EVAN HURST — wrote a post making fun of Matt Drudge for re-upping a rumor he had himself debunked way back in the gay ’90s. That rumor was that Bill Clinton had a love child, Danney Williams, with a lady who was a hooker at the time. The Star newspaper said it had a DNA test! And that Bill Clinton was not Danney Williams’s big daddy! Matt Drudge was like “durrrrr”! But for some reason today was a good day to bring that up again, no, we have no idea why.

We have just received a missive from Robert Morrow, the author of whatever, this book we guess, which if you buy it through this link, we will get a small cut.

It is a very nice letter, as you will instantly see.

Dear Evan Hurst, [ed note: NOPE!] you ignorant piece of shit: Danney Williams is in fact the son of Bill Clinton. Read the paperback edition of my book The Clinton’s War on Women where this is discussed in detail. Here: [We have cleverly switched Morrow’s Amazon link with our own! Let’s see if he notices! — Dok]

Shithead Evan, there was no DNA test in 1999 performed on Danney Williams. The Star in 1999 was owned by Roger Altman, a BFF (that means “best friend forever” shithead) of Bill Clinton and the Star, aka the Clintons, planted a phony DNA test to kill the Danney William story. They planted the story because then Carl Limbacher of NewsMax was digging deep into this story and had written multiple articles on it, so they had to “kill” the story because Hillary was running for Senate in NY in 2000.

It worked because idiot Howard Kurst of Wash Post picked it up as legit and also the LA Times ran with this horseshit story. Kurst has been told to correct his fantastically flawed reporting and he has refused to do this. Which is to take a tabloid owned by a best friend of the Clintons at face value. It would be the same as relying on the National Enquirer to tell you the truth about Donald Trump.

Stupid Evan, you might want to google “Roger Altman Bill Clinton” and “Roger Altman, owner of the Star”

1999 Star owner was Roger Altman, friends with Bill Clinton since 1965 college http://www.nytimes.com/1999/02/17/business/investment-group-buys-the-national-enquirer-and-star-magazine.html

Roger Altman – 1999 Star owner – BFF with Bill Clinton since 1965 college http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/1997-06-22/roger-altman-hits-the-street-running

Danney Williams is the abandoned son of Bill Clinton. Not only that Bill has abandoned 5 grandchildren as well so he is a Deadbeat Granddad.

As for Hillary being a lesbian whore, Bill Clinton has told legions that Hillary has “eaten more pussy than I have.”

And yes, of course, Chelsea Clinton is the biological daughter of Webb Hubbell. Hillary was fucking both Vince Foster and Webb Hubbell.

Sincerely

Robert Morrow author The Clintons’ War on Women

(Remember, your Wonkette gets a cut!)

These are serious allegations of our journalistic malfeasance, and Wonkette regrets the error of having our email addresses available on our website.

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  • anwisok

    Well, how can you argue with such a clear, factual presentation? You can’t. You just can’t!

  • Nounverb911

    He seems nice too, also.

    • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

      I’ll bet he’s fun at parties!

      • Deplorable Ron

        Gotta pile the coats on something.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Oh, now this is subtle, state of the art snark.

          • Deplorable Ron

            Your words of praise honour this most unworthy of commenters, oh celestial one!

      • zerosumgame0005

        he eats ALL the cakes we like!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      ugh you beat me!

      • tihond

        And me as well!

  • Wild Cat

    Well, you leave “Northern Exposure,” in the 1990s and discover that and it’s tough to make a living except by defaming the Clintons in the 1990s.

  • OneYieldRegular

    If for no other reason (but alas, there are so many, many reasons), Morrow’s credibility goes right out the window when he uses “BFF” instead of “FOB.” Was he living under a rock in the 1990’s? Apparently. And apparently he’s still there.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Geez, how did I miss “Howard Kurst“? Morrow should retitle his book “Bill Clinton and My Stupid Idiot Shithead War on Coherence.”

  • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

    Sounds like SOMEONE has a big ol’ crush on our lovely Evan!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I do, but he won’t return my … oh, you mean Robert Morrow.

      • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

        And I’d have his babies for him (if I could)!

    • Redgyal

      Don’t we all?

  • OK, so wait…..Hillary is a “lesbian whore” who was fucking Webb Hubbell AND Vince Foster? What? And I’d like to explore the latter further: Was this some kind of threesome arrangement? Inquiring minds want to know (I don’t really want to know, but good God, this guy’s a moron).

  • bookish

    Christmas comes early.

  • Scooby

    Many people are saying Bob Dole is really Bill Clintons love child.

    • zerosumgame0005

      I really do not want to meet those people…

  • Callyson

    you ignorant piece of shit…Shithead Evan…Stupid Evan

    Well, with those articulate defenses of his work, the author has totally convinced me!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/28db1bd6f1a0c5eceabb630652b3bfae1498facabbad738f74657f79a7d1cb23.jpg

    • Painter of Deplorables

      He convinced me as well – that he never matured beyond 5th grade.

    • SecludedCompound

      Isn’t it lovely havin a nation that is a third aggrieved weird dweebs that like to taunt others with their strange psychotic breaks?

  • cousin itt

    Matt Drudge for re-upping a rumor he had himself debunked way back in the gay ’90s.

    ISWYDT

    • Longitudinally Enabled

      Don’t egg him on!

  • Mpeg

    Stop being such a shithead, Evan!! If that is indeed your real name!1?!

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    He seems nice.

  • Lizzietish81

    Well with that kind of professionalism he’s sure to be onto something.

    • Paganish

      Meth, prolly

      • Deplorable Ron

        And not the good stuff, the stuff that’s been cut with bleach.

  • Crystalclear12

    Someone needs help taking their meds in the morning. Where is Nurse Ratchet when you need her?

  • Spurning Beer

    Will not click, will not purchase, will not read. I’ve just got a couple of doses of antibiotics to go on this prescription, and this is some MERSA-level bullshit here.

    • Lizzietish81

      I will click to see the comments.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Not before you put on that Haz Mat suit — we care about you!

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Isn’t there a full moon somewhere this jackass should be barking at? Just asking.

  • edith prickly

    Today we are all Shithead Evans.

  • The Witch of Endor

    I just wrote my “review” of The Clintons’ War On Women. It consisted of LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! ROTFLMAO! Seriously. :)

  • Spotts1701

    Well, that seemed like a reasonable, thought-out critique. Or a massive rage-stroke by a gibbering loony. It’s a fine line.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8a7385734f18e535ba1e6b38e8ba230f0f2bf573f5ca5ace5714c32577c4349a.jpg

  • Morrow is, or wishes he was, just another cheap rented dick for Stone’s wife Nydia (Nikki).

  • Creepoman

    Dear Robert Morrow, What color is the sky in your world?

    • Painter of Deplorables

      Contrail gray.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Chemtrail gray. With sparkles.

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    I’m pretty sure they sell DNA tests at Walgreens now. Hop on it Morrow, 80 bucks is not big money compared to the billions you could make with verified proof.

    • (((cynmac)))

      How would he get Bill’s DNA?

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        The dress obviously!!

  • memzilla

    Attn: Robert Morrow
    Re: Babblings

    Dear Fuckface:
    If the Clintons are so all powerful, why are you still alive?

    Sincerely,
    Wonkette Commenters

    • sw19roadtrip

      Dear Fuckface: why are you alive?

      FTFY,YW!

      • Francesgconnolly

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ct429f:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !ct429f:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash719HomeDragonGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ct429f:….,…..

  • Suttree

    I have apparently gone completely wrong in my past work correspondence. I believe that I should have screamed n* and or f* to get those hinges shipped faster.

  • Mpeg

    This is what we get for pal’ing around with errorists.

  • msanthropesmr

    I think I like Robert Altman’s Nashville the best.

    • sw19roadtrip

      The Player is my fave.

      • Grizz1y

        It’s great but M*A*S*H is still my favorite.

    • Mezzaluna

      According to my husband, Altman owes him 2 hours of his life back for watching all of Quintet.

  • cousin itt

    DNA (that means “do no anal” shithead).

  • msanthropesmr

    Today, we are all shit heads.

    • Paganish

      All day every day, every last one

  • Ryan Denniston

    Webb Hubbell? Those are the names of two of our space-based telescopes! Coincidence?

    • Spooky. If only we could focus them on the truth for these shitheads.

      • Suttree

        Needz moar giant mirrors burning ants.

    • tihond

      Yet, it’s shaped like lil’ Bill. Really makes you think.

    • cousin itt

      And now, our brave men probing deep space!

    • DainBramage

      A reflection of the empty, ever expanding space betwixt his ears?

  • tihond

    He seems nice.

  • Joe Beese

    This is presumably the most damning proof of family resemblance available. It’s not in Ronan Farrow territory.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e0767cb492536299b6a903c138887479e5b34153b2f7d501b3e19002c9e25237.jpg

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Robert Morrow: The poster boy for morans everywhere. Even moreso than THIS guy: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf1bf755f13e713b871bf590364cf48aae1d9de12afb78d31abf1767b25da264.jpg

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      This guy. This guy has made being a Cardinals fan so difficult because I am tarred by Cubs fans with this damned guy!

    • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

      I sometimes wonder if this guy was actually a lefty making a HUGE sacrifice to the internets.
      What a gift this was/is.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Or a Cubs fan skullfucking Cards fans everywhere.

        • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

          Wow.
          So cold!
          (But as a fan of the Yankees, I could see this happening.)

      • TheoLib

        When I used to see this picture in the early days of its existence, I thought it was a lefty making fun of the RWNJs–it was so perfect. Then, enough people posting it as serious convinced me that it wasn’t a joke … or so I keep telling myself.

  • Bemused

    This is clearly a very professional letter, written using only the most professional vocabulary and thus it must be credible. Or the opposite of all that.

  • AngryKatie

    I appreciate the clarification that BFF is Best Friends Forever.
    Without that I would have spent the rest of my day trying to parse what he could possibly have meant.

    Bigly French Fabulist?
    Bald Flatulent Flautist?

    • Mezzaluna

      BEST FREEDOM FRIES !!!1!!!

  • Astraea

    Were the legions Roman?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      How about some gladiator movies?

      • Suttree

        I believe sitting on a grown man’s lap would suffice.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Ever seen a grown man naked?

        • Grizz1y

          Do you like gladiator movies Robby?

        • Serai 1

          Ever been in a Turkish prison?

    • Joe Beese

      It’s a comment one can imagine in Bill’s voice.

    • Suttree

      Romaine with radishes.

    • Catstro

      More like Mark 5:9

  • MynameisBlarney

    Damn.

    That is just….

    Wow.

  • anna rampage

    1999 Star owner was Roger Altman, friends with Bill Clinton since 1965 college
    ________________________________________________________________-

    Funny, both the Star and National Enquirer are both owned & controlled by American Media Inc, who’s CEO is none other than David Pecker, long time friend of Donald Trump…

    • Suttree

      I lack the words.

      • Taco Treg

        I don’t. HE SAID ‘PECKER’!1!

    • Ryan Denniston

      That would explain the creativity behind Evan’s new nickname, Stupid.

    • Deplorable Ron

      Who would have expected that? No-one, that’s who!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Anyone that says they expected it is a damn lying liar!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “David Pecker”. Oh, come on now, we’re supposed to swallow this whole? I mean GTT or EQ might, but the rest of us?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      He’s the Donald’s PFF. (That means Pecker Friend Forever.)

  • jesuswasablack

    “But for some reason today was a good day to bring that up again, no, we have no idea why.”
    http://crooksandliars.com/files/mediaposters/2016/09/34603.jpg?ts=1474981674

  • DQKennard

    So, as a “lesbian whore” was Hillary only a lesbian for money, but did Foster and Hubbell for free? Oh, wait, maybe since she’s a apparently a Machiavellian manipulator, she fucked Foster and Hubbell to manipulate them into being loyal, until they weren’t and she had to kill Foster. Or something.

  • Oblios_Cap

    They planted the story because then Carl Limbacher of NewsMax was digging deep into this story and had written multiple articles on it, so they had to “kill” the story because Hillary was running for Senate in NY in 2000.

    A Newsmax reporter! Well, o.k. then. Maybe I’m a bit thick, but isn’t the time to “kill” the story before several articles have been written about it?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Wait, that’s what BFF means?

    • cousin itt

      You mean it’s not Biff?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I thought it meant…
      Well, never mind what I thought.

    • DainBramage

      What? It’s not butt fuck foam?
      Sorry to bring up Santorum.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I always thought it had something to do with butt sechs on Fridays.

  • Taco Treg

    Dear Robert Morrow (i f that is indeed your real name),

    I’ve personally had it with trying to explain reality versus made up fantasy stuff to dimwits such as yourself.

    No love, and climb into the basket,

    Treg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd7525073c42b3d2127eb82458676aeeedd38865764f8fc69a769bd5584468ff.gif

  • Cheesus Crust

    Goofy Bob Morrow. Low energy. Sad.

    • Serai 1

      And I liked him so much in Quiz Show.

      Oh, wait – wrong Robert Morrow

  • Gayer Than Thou

    It’s weird the way there’s so much about the Clintons that would be deeply damaging to them if anyone knew it, but no one seems to know it.

    • DQKennard

      You have to “educate yourself”.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        I don’t have the map for the dark regions of the cyber!

  • Marceline

    Let’s see if we can get him to start posting here. Come on Bobby, come here and show us all how brilliant you are.

    • jmk

      Rooooooooooooooooberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt… come out and plaaaaaaaaaaay.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        (clinks together a couple of soda bottles)

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      My haz-mat suit is in the cleaners… so nooooooo!!!

  • Grizz1y

    Here Roger have a bottle glass of wine and take a pill(or a dozen.)
    http://legitdrugstore.com/product_images/e/529/Buy_Valium_%28Diazepam%29_10mg_pills_online__51523.jpg

  • natoslug

    William Morrow, I, Idiot.

  • SecludedCompound

    This is seriously the caliber of people that have taken over one of the major political parties in the United States. I’m still having trouble letting that sink in.

    • Ryan Denniston

      By 2024, the candidate will arrive at the debate and fling poo at Tim Kaine for 90 minutes. Literal poo.

      • sw19roadtrip

        Idiocracy is a documentary.

        • SecludedCompound

          I was ready to believe that during the primary. That we seem to actually have surpassed it in some ways is frightening.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I thought Huckabee was the only person who ever beated the Clinton Machine.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    If you ignore the fact tha Chesea looks just like her dad, sure, why the fuck not. Also too the “sincerely” is a nice touch. Moron.

    • DQKennard

      He seems awfully darn sincere.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Sincerely sincere.

  • Joe Beese
    • jmk

      Dipshit Morrow sez “Oh, come on!! They both have noses… and chins!! It couldn’t be clearer!!”

    • jesuswasablack

      Look at the ties, they both have the same pattern.
      https://i.ytimg.com/vi/1VoPCQ6c3lQ/maxresdefault.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Looks more like that Titanic guy to me. Leonardo DaVinci?

  • bubbuhh

    Oh, looky. The shit-fer-brains has overflowed in Monday.

  • Taco Treg

    “Dear Evan Hurst, [ed note: NOPE!] you ignorant piece of shit:”

    Nope. Hold my fucking earrings…

  • data_ninja

    A Special Monday Edition of Dear Shitferbrains from A Celebrity Idjit?
    Was this our Cocktober surprise?!??!

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m glad to see my donation check being put to good use!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If it is the Cocktober surprise, the rest of the month is going to be pretty bland.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Yeah, for reals. If I’m going to get a Cocktober surprise, I want it to have a lot more cock, and a lot less dick. If you know what I mean.

  • So Hillary is a lesbian AND was fucking both Vince Foster and Webb Hubbell. Amazing.

    • jmk

      Maybe somebody should tell this fuckwit what lesbians do… and break it to him that it’s not like the porn he watches.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Worst. Lesbian. Ever.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Vince Foster and Webb Hubbell were both lesbians.

      So there!

  • jmk

    He seems nice.

  • Objectifer

    Boy he really went off the rails when they cancelled Northern Exposure.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      He seemed to be getting back on track with Numb3rs, though.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Wait…they cancelled it?
      WHEN?!

  • jesuswasablack

    “Bill Clinton has told legions that Hillary has “eaten more pussy than I have.”

    http://i3.cpcache.com/product/426262284/gop_christian_values_yard_sign.jpg?height=460&width=460&qv=90

    • Who is this Legion you speak of…. I tried summoning them the other night and instead all I got was a basket of deplorables. Maybe I should have sacrificed the goat instead of the black rooster…

      • Mehmeisterjr

        It can’t be The American Legion.

  • *sigh* Also too, *facepalm*.

  • Ryan Denniston

    OT: On today’s edition of “Projection Issues”, we find that the Trump Foundation has been ordered to cease operations until it can comply with the law.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-foundation-ordered-to-halt-activity-by-new-york-prosecutor_us_57f29146e4b024a52d301870

    • zerosumgame0005

      so forever then…

  • Serai 1

    Heehee! Just waiting for the shrieking tantrum to come when this idiot realizes HIS IMPORTANT MISSIVE HAS BEEN LEAKED TO THE WORLD!!!

  • Cheesus Crust

    Welp, I am revoking Hillary’s “Gold Star Lesbian” card… you can have sex with 1 or 2 men and still retain your status, but 3 and you’re out!

    • Sounds like the 3 strike law for California felonies. Does that mean she gets sentenced to the Bi club for life now, or is it just a temporary banishment? Inquirying mynds want to know.

      • Cheesus Crust

        She can redeem herself by releasing the scissoring tapes she made with Huma.

  • OT: Trump’s plan for reducing the deficit includes burning down the white house!

    http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/christie-calls-trump-genius-for-plan-to-burn-down-white-house-and-collect-insurance?mbid=social_facebook

    (In case you don’t read the new yorker – this article is in the same thread as the onion)…

  • Longstreet63

    The instant response to any contrary opinion on the Internet is the hallmark of The Serious Journalist!

    • Donkey Option

      Do you think he has a Google alert set up for his name? I bet he does!

      • Deplorable Ron

        Which would mean that he’s about to have a Trumpesque meltdown right about… now.

      • jmk

        You KNOW he does… and it alerts him at least twice a year!!

        Usually, it’s for that other Rob Morrow, but the boy keeps hoping!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Or presidential candidate.

  • taco truck vagenda

    Poor Robert Morrow. Not even important enough for the Clintons to murder. Pathetic.

    • Bigby

      YET…duhh duhh duhhhhhhh!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      But he so imagines he might be.

      Well, I’m off to my coronation in Moscow as Tsar of all the Russias!

  • Donkey Option

    Does he really think that by sending you a link to his stupid book (now in paperback!) you’ll totally go buy it and realize how wrong you are about everything? I mean, clearly he is deranged and not very bright and possibly on multiple drugs that are interacting in the space between his ears, but really dude?

    • You can always google “The Clinton’s War on Women +filetype:pdf”….

      • Deplorable Ron

        Thanks but I don’t want my new e-reader committing sepuku.

  • anna rampage

    Read the paperback edition of my book….

    Yes, because all well renowned authors of factually based, historical biographies are published on recycled pulp in paperback only….

    • Maybe if he had said something all nice and elvish, he could even have gotten Wonkette to do an article on teh book. Why they nutters always have to go with the offensive first is well beyond my pay grade…

    • AngryKatie

      That’s my favorite part.
      Not the digital version, not the hardback, not just “read my book.”
      Read the PAPERBACK version of my book.

      I noticed there is an audiobook version. Imaging those recording sessions boggles the mind.

      • (((cynmac)))

        Oh, noes. He recorded it himself? BAHAHAHAHAHA.

        • AngryKatie

          Less chance of PTSD lawsuits from the voice talent that way.

  • Deplorable Ron

    With such masterful command of English, such a nuanced turn of phrase, with such restraint and good taste, it’s a wonder he isn’t writing for one of the nation’s more respected papers.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      Charmin?

  • The Wanderer

    Of course, Robert Morrow sucks donkey balls, or so I’ve heard on the internet.

    • Deplorable Ron

      You say that as if it were a bad thing.

      • MynameisBlarney

        The donkeys fuckin LOVE it.

        • Not really. 95% of all farmyard related sex injuries are due to getting kicked in the chest/head/elsewhere, by horses/donkeys/etc… and random internet statistics don’t lie.

          • MynameisBlarney

            74.2% of statistics are made up on the spot.

          • taco truck vagenda

            That’s only true 61.4% of the time.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It’s like Sex Panther.
            60% of the time, it works every time.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            This is true, I just read it on the Internet!

      • The Wanderer

        It might make the donkey feel bad.

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        Have you bothered to ask the donkey?

    • sw19roadtrip
  • jesuswasablack
    • DainBramage

      Do they campaign door to door?

      • Deplorable Ron

        ‘Why, yes, I’d LOVE to donate. How much for round-the-world?’

      • Objectifer

        Door to door? That costs extra.

        • Deplorable Ron

          ‘Five dollah, same as in town!’

    • MynameisBlarney

      The one holding the Y is all like “NOOOPE! NO Pics!”

      • aureolaborealis

        “My mom thinks I’m in grad school!”

    • Señor Carlos Magnifiko

      Trump tweets about these ladies in 3..2…1…

  • TundraGrifter

    Like so many on the outer fringe of the right wing (pinfeathers?) he appears to be suffering from a serious case of coprophagia.

    • The Wanderer

      Coprolalia, also too.

      • TundraGrifter

        Is that science for “plays well with his poo?”

        I ask for a friend.

        • The Wanderer

          I think it translates literally as “shit talk.” The boy can’t stop cussing out his moral superiors.

  • Longstreet63

    But if Michelle is really a dude, should Hillary have been fucking her, too?

    • Objectifer

      Just as I suspected, a mouth breather.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I doubt his upper lip has ever actually met the lower.

    • Taco Treg

      His professionally cut bangs are quite something, yes?

      ETA: I feel bad for hair shaming him. Let’s talk about those enormous earlobes instead.

      • TundraGrifter

        “I’ll take my usual – a ‘Caligula.'”

      • MynameisBlarney

        Totally has me convinced he has a healthy and full head of hair, and is not trying to deny he’s actually bald as fuck.
        Moar balder’n fuck.

        And WTF happened to his eyebrows?

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        The Flowbee Company denies any and all responsibility in this matter. Please note, the Flowbee Company has never manufactured “Ugly Sticks.”

      • Gayer Than Thou
        • Shangenda of Shanocide

          That looks like…

          …never mind…

        • Be Gin

          I’ve seen that thing!

          My sister in law found it in a “mixed-unopened” box lot at an auction.

          She wanted to try it out on me but I was wise enough to point her in the direction of her own shaggy Lebradoodle.

          The dog went berserk and flew through a window!

    • Deplorable Ron

      Worst. Combover. EVER.

    • The Wanderer

      Ah, now I know who this shit-gobbler is.

    • DainBramage

      So, NOT the guy from Northern Exposure.

    • Mr. Peckerfish

      Hair by Mister Todd of Washington

      • The Wanderer

        And Mister Todd would like it back, please.

      • sw19roadtrip

        Sweeney libels!

    • bubbuhh

      Looks a lot like Danney Williams

    • Cheesus Crust

      TIme for a haircut, honey! Get out the special bowl!

      • sw19roadtrip

        sw19mom did that to me for years. *ptsd flashback*

        • Cheesus Crust

          I would upfist, but that just seems sad

          • sw19roadtrip

            I would grow my hair out in my teens, as an act of rebellion, but she still managed to get me one final time when I was 15, and my defences were lowered.
            Now I cut my own hair! Hah! See sw19mom! You aren’t the boss of me any more!

          • Cindyinencinitas

            You go, gurl. Make yo hair look anyolddamn way you want.

    • Astraea

      Oh, it’s that guy. I never remember his name but the bangs are seared into my retinas.
      He looks like hs hould be playing SNL’s Stewart in a community theater version.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Look, we’re going to have to expand the Oxford dictionary by one entire volume just for the picture definition of Backpfeifengesicht.

      • DainBramage

        Nice. The Google even finds a YouTube video on how to pronounce it. I will employ my newfound knowledge judiciously.

    • beavertank

      Jesus tittyfucking christ.

      I know it’s unkind to judge a book by its cover… but god damn is that some accurate cover art.

      • Deplorable Ron

        ‘The Clinton’s War on Women’ is that rarity, a book WITHOUT the author’s picture on the cover.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      OMG — that is him — As my pappy used to say, “looks like he got hit with the bad end of the ugly stick.” The angriest virgin in the country.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      I’ma guess his family tree is a little convoluted.

      • Snark Tank of Deplorables

        Nope. Like Jeff Foxworthy said, “If your family tree doesn’t fork….”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Must have the same barber as SMOTI.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Dok, you write Morrow right back and demand that he set the record straight. Don’t let Evan get all of the glory.

  • Msgr_Aleppo_Moment

    Dear Evan Hurst, [ed note: NOPE!] you ignorant piece of shit:

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/mMAnCgjeZ4Q/maxresdefault.jpg
    So exciting to know that the man himself will read my post.
    Excuse me, I’ll be in my bunk.

  • BadKitty904

    Sounds like Someone needs to start buying a heavier grade of tinfoil.

    Reality is a helluva drug, maaan…

  • VforV, I’m with Her!

    Five weeks and one day.
    Five weeks and one day.
    Five weeks and one day.

    [deep, cleansing breath]

    • DainBramage

      I’m hoping my ballot arrives in the mail soon. I wanna vote!

      • TundraGrifter

        I hope you don’t live in Ohio. If you do, you could have a rather long wait.

        • DainBramage

          Nope. Washington state.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Ohio would be a satisfying place to vote. I don’t think I’ll make a difference voting in NYC – the fun here will be seeing just how badly we can crush the GOP.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I got my sample ballot today.

        • Deplorable Ron

          ‘If you enjoyed voting with this sample ballot, please consider using our fully-featured model, available soon!’

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ah…now it makes sense.
            I opened it up, and was all like, this is the worst newspaper I’ve ever seen.
            They’re just not even trying anymore.

      • VforV, I’m with Her!

        Polls close at 7; 15-minute drive home; let’s see, carry the one …

        Yeah, I can be hammered by 7:32.

  • Iam Reading

    Bet this puke wouldn’t hurl those insults to Evans face, libelous coward that Morrow is.

    • BehaveYrself

      Or to Dok’s, also too.

      • Taco Treg

        It’s Rebecca I’d fear.

        • Deplorable Ron

          They’re at their most dangerous when protecting their cubs.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            DO NOT look the wrong way at Donna Rose. Just don’t.

            Donald, we’re speaking directly TO YOU.

  • TundraGrifter

    Didn’t one of the women on “Northern Exposure” go off into the shallow end of the right wing nutz’ pool?

    What was it about that show? Bad water served on the set?

    • jmk

      Yep – Janine Turner, if memory serves.

      • TundraGrifter

        Some days mine serves.

        Some days it double-faults.

        • jmk

          Ace!!!!

    • chazmanr

      Janine Turner – the formerly hot one. Once she made her politics public, her looks went south on her or maybe that was just how she looked to me.

      • Deplorable Ron

        Outsides matching the insides? Isn’t that what happened to Phyllis Schlafly?

      • AngryKatie

        She turned into central casting’s version of a Republican housewife
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d0b673db27a9ff57a8aa8aee0eb848e192fde48bbc9c815ec85b9cfe2b676211.png

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Oh, jeeze, the cute is gone.

          • (((cynmac)))

            Yeah, she doesn’t have the right coloring for blonde.

        • Objectifer

          That’s a damn shame. She move to Texas or something?

          • AngryKatie

            Hah. I googled and turns out, yes, she moved to TX.

          • (((cynmac)))

            She’s from TX.

  • Señor Carlos Magnifiko
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Um, with regard to the middle picture, does Robert Morrow enjoy gladiator movies?

      • Dr.Zoidberg

        Has he ever been in a Turkish prison?

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    So we have Shit-fer-Brains backed up on our internetz machines?

    *Sigh*. I’ll bring the plunger.

  • Vagennifer Flowers

    That would be Howie ‘so embarrassingly in the tank for the Republicans even the Washington Post under the Weymouths decided Fox could have him’ Kurtz, the guy who admits covering for Newt Gingrich’s adultery?

    Seems out of character.

  • jmk

    Trix, please do let us know if this genius writes a follow-up screed. This shit is comedy gold.

    • sw19roadtrip

      Point of order – when you refer to “this shit”, do you mean the writing, or the writer?

      • jmk

        Yes.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        AOT,K

    • Cheesus Crust

      Let’s make it into a video and then do a “bad lip reading” parody!

    • rebecca

      they have been coming thick and fast, dude.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        OK, I’m thinking NYT Bestseller here: A Series of Monologues By Robert Morrow, as Emailed to Rebecca Schoenkopf

        • sw19roadtrip

          Interview With A Derpmire

          • MynameisBlarney

            Interview With A Derpmire II: The Hurpening.

      • sw19roadtrip
      • IdRatherBeDancing

        shocking!

      • MynameisBlarney
      • Snark Tank of Deplorables

        I think you should force Mr. Morrow to get a damn Disqus account and let us taunt him mercilessly. We’re happy to do it.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Careful what you wish for – this is one of those libertarian nutters who DO NOT STOP once they get on a roll. Worse than religious nuts, who only have God on their side, they have the whole fucking Universe on their side, which includes objective reality and the crystalline truth of pure logic. There ain’t no stopping a troll who’s working from that premise: your mockery proves his superiority.

          • Snark Tank of Deplorables

            I hear ya….but I still think we could take him. :-)

      • AngryKatie

        He’s got a lot more free time for keeping up with his correspondence since he lost his job as party chairman.

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    First woman POTUS.
    First lesbian POTUS.
    First murderer POTUS.
    First adulteress POTUS.

    Hillary is breaking all the glass ceilings.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I’m pretty sure she will the first public shimmying POTUS too.

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      She had my vote at murderer…

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    I’m shocked some lucky girl hasn’t scooped him up yet. Shocked!

    C’mon ladies, he’s single…. For eternity.

  • (((cynmac)))

    Nop, Danney Williams does not even rate a Snopes entry. But this girl does.
    http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/clintonchild.asp

  • BadKitty904

    …said Robert Morrow never, as he wouldn’t recognize the Truth if it bit him on the butt.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXoNE14U_zM

  • Mr. Peckerfish

    Howard Krust is gonna blow the lid off of this.

  • PsycWench

    Bill Clinton told “legions”? I didn’t think there were synonyms for “people I made up” that The Donald hadn’t used, but it looks like I’m wrong.

    • BadKitty904

      Oh, there’s “legions,” alright. They’re just all in his head. Or am I thinking of “lesions”?

      • PsycWench

        Legumes. You’re thinking of legumes.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      I ran into him at Burger King once and he told me, so… And I think he told a couple of my friends and my mom’s cousin.

      • tehbaddr

        I read it on the intertubes also, must be true!

  • beavertank

    Wow. A literal Dear Shit Fer Brains. That’s impressive.

    And professional. I don’t know why that guy would ever have problems with credibility or getting people to believe him.

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    Wow, ‘BFF’ means ‘best friends forever’?! The mystery of the ages has been solved!

    • ViveLaRes

      I bet he’s even cracked the code on “those cakes we like.”

    • alnnc

      I thought it meant beefy falafel fritters. I wonder if he knows the meaning of wtf. I thought it was wheat toast flambe, but maybe I’m wrong.

    • Tacoclamgenda

      I’ve been wondering that for years. I wasn’t even sure where to start looking to find out

  • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

    There’s always this, to watch, in case you can’t get enough of this fellow.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwgKrzY1wbw

  • NotALiar

    This dude was too far out for Roger Stone!! Stone exiled him and called him the worst thing you can call another wingnut human..”A Clinton supporter!!” The horror the horror!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Wow. That’s some serious dis.

  • proudgrampa

    At the risk of repeating myself. Oh. For. Fuck’s. Sake.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I bet he’s never had an actual friend in his entire life.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, at least none that were visible.

      • Deplorable Ron

        His invisible friend left him for a nicer boy. He’s been bitter ever since.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Even they didn’t stick around for long.

  • Shangenda of Shanocide

    Is there such as thing as email inbox disinfectant? Because Evan sure needs a couple of gallons of it after THAT greasy lump of foulness.

    • Wes Grogan

      I think it’s called BleachBit. Now we know why Hillz had to use it. lol

  • Deplorable Ron

    Dear Robert:

    If you have a Google alert configured and are reading this… congratulations on learning how to read. Now we just have to work on that potty mouth of yours.

    Sincerely, BR

    • jmk

      I wonder if he’s trying to set up a Disqus account right now to respond directly.

      It’s probably beyond his capabilities, but I’ll bet he’s trying.

    • Snark Tank of Deplorables

      Now we just have to work on that fucking potty mouth of yours.
      .
      FIFY.

  • SeekingBarbie

    So if Morrow has a Google alert for his name, perhaps he is at this very moment reading and fuming over our lack of appreciation for his brilliant commentary.

    • Taco Treg

      I’m counting on it.

    • rebecca

      Actually, no! We are now pen friends and have been having a gay old time!

      • Cheesus Crust

        Should we start a go-fund-me for disinfectant? You’re gonna need the industrial stuff – like the “eats medical waste” kind.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        You might suggest he dig into Trump’s past indiscretions. I’m curious to see what he’d do with the novelty of actual facts.

        • rebecca

          he … actually has.

          He does not seem to be on the Trump Train.

          • sw19roadtrip

            That’s fine, I assumed he was fully on board the Crazy Train.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Crazy goes in any direction it desires.
            He may be fully on board, but headed to a different destination.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            He’s got about a month to cash in – tell him to hurry.

            I see he’s not a Trumpanzee – not sure if he’s not quite that nuts, or if he’s too nuts! He’s a regular dog’s breakfast of political opinions, if his Wikipedia page is to be believed.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        With Barney and Betty?

    • Serai 1

      I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.

  • BadKitty904

    What puzzles me most about this hackneyed GOP bullshittery is – even if this severely “disturbed” individual’s lurid fantasies were true – what does it have to do with Hilz’s candidacy or obvious superiority to her opponent?

    Bill’s not running for POTUS, is he?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They imagine that we will react to “squirrel!” exactly as they do.

    • Jane Neuharth

      FGOTUS. That’s going to be a fun one to play with

      • Paganish

        “Float-us” to “Goat-us”

  • He seems moderately perturbed…

    • Objectifer

      A bit vexed, even.

      • Deplorable Ron

        Downright peeved.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Hell…he’s plum pixelated.

        • Serai 1

          You might even say annoyed.

        • Dee Andee

          That’s OK, I’m totally skeeved.

  • Wes Grogan

    … Hillary is an obvious lesbian that’s had an affair with two men beyond Bill Clinton? So.. she’s too lesbian to have a child with Bill, but she’s not too lesbian to have a child with someone else? Oookay.

    *backs away slowly from the crazy man*

  • I Am Helpy

    Well I’m convinced. Any letter that’s so insulting MUST be true. Dr Evan Zoom you are guilty of journalistic malf or something.

    • I Am Helpy

      Probably just an oversight on very professional research guy Robert “Balls-Out Fucking Nuts” Marrow’s part, but aside from being incapable of reading a byline correctly, he’s made another trivial mistake: lesbians do not actually sleep with men. Certainly no reason to doubt the rest of his lunatic ravings.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        The jester hat is what sold me on his scholarly credentials.

        • Left Coast Tom

          Makes sense…it couldn’t possibly have been anything he wrote.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            I’d be willing to bet he’s got a Ph.Derp. Believe it or not, he allegedly graduated from Princeton. Of course, he lives off an allowance from his family, so I’d guess that daddy made a sizable contribution to get his idiot son in to college.

    • BadKitty904

      Evan Zoom, Evan Zoom, riding through the glen…

      I have no idea why that suddenly came to mind.

      • Dee Andee

        Your mind works in mysterious, Roger Whitakeresque ways, BadKitty. It’s a joy to watch. :)

        • BadKitty904

          My bf has noted that I’m prone to go into “random access mode” when tired…

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Damn I hate when I can only almost hear the tune. It’s the theme song of a TV show?

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    Well, that settles it, random dumb ass on the Internet.

  • goonemeritus

    He doesn’t seem as scholarly as many of the investigative journalists I normally read.

    • BadKitty904

      I’m betting he does foam at the mouth a bit more excessively, however.

  • Glenn Hendricks

    How could you possibly refute such a well reasoned and polite argument? I’m convinced. @@

  • BadKitty904

    I blame lead-paint chips.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I blame the chem trails that speak to him in the dark.

  • Boscoe

    So to recap: believing that a DNA test debunked this story, and noticing how Chelsea clearly resembles both Bill and Hillary means you are A Idiot, but believing that Bill has left a trail of abandoned infants and grand infants(how does that even work?) while Hillary was being a voracious lesbian who, for some reason, was also fucking every DUDE in the Whitehouse, is the only reasonable conclusion, shithead.

    Has Morrow written a book about how Cruz is the Zodiac Killer yet? Seems about his speed.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I think you’ve captured the derp nicely. It would be wise to release it to minimize exposure, however.

      • Boscoe

        The key is to repeat it with utter conviction as though it were PROVEN FACT, and then be fully OUTRAGED that anyone wouldn’t believe you. That takes skillz, man!

    • Snark Tank of Deplorables

      TL;DR: Mr. Morrow, Mr. Occam would like his Razor back.

      • Boscoe

        …depending on where Mr. Morrow was hiding it, of course. ;P

      • Toomush_Infer

        ..if it ain’t ruint….

  • elviouslyqueer

    Well, he seems fucking nice. Bless his fucking heart.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Looks like there’s a mad scramble underway to hop a ride on the Trumpenstein Wingnut Grifting Gravy Train before it runs completely off the rails. The level of crazy is going to be awesome.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s a testament to their faith that they’re trying to push all the product out over the next month. Do they know something we don’t? That Drumpf has a self-destruct mechanism that will go off around 8PM November 8th? Donald won’t be available to kick around anymore after that time and date?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The Hillary-hating industry will swing into high gear, so no worries. The grifters won’t miss a beat, and the rubes will shell out extra for new merchandise during the changeover. It’s a bit like upgrading your cellphone.

        • cat cafe

          To a Samsung Note 7

          • (((cynmac)))

            I am so glad that I traded in my broken Note 4 for a LG.

          • cat cafe

            I still have my Note 4 and IT IS SO FUCKING IRRITATING!!!! I don’t even know why I hate it so much. My S4 phone works so much better. WHAT IS THAT?!

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Correction: Samsung NUT 7

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Only 35 more rube-fleecing days until Votemass!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Also too, Robert you ignorant slut!

  • Wes Grogan

    And to think he always came across as such a sane and stable person.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/31/Robert_Morrow_Texas_politician.jpg

  • Boscoe

    You know who ELSE wrote a book…

    • cat cafe

      O.J.?

    • (((cynmac)))

      Kim Kardashian?

  • sw19roadtrip

    I’m not usually in favor of people bleaching their anuses, but for Robert Morrow I’ll make an exception.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      How would you know where to stop bleaching?

  • anna rampage

    OT

    Uh oh…. It appears that in Donald Trump’s effort to be an upstanding patriot (read chunky skid mark on the underpants of humanity) and support the workers of this great nation of ours, he bought the steel & aluminum for several of his last projects directly from mfgs in China.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/10/revealed-trump-ditched-us-workers-and-secretly-purchased-steel-and-aluminum-for-last-two-projects-from-china/

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Just being S-M-R-T.

    • BadKitty904

      Not Russia?!?1?

      • anna rampage

        I believe Donald only imports his wives & caviar from Russia as everyone knows their steel & aluminum is crap…

  • andyshelt

    Well that was a temperate and well argued letter that has totally convinced me of the reasonableness of his position!

    Or perhaps, he’s applying for the job of Trump’s debate coach.

    I can imagine the job interview……..So, Mr Trump, I would suggest less of the “Should I call you Secretary Clinton? I want you to be happy, this is very important to me.” introduction.

    Why not open with “Shithead Hillary, you ignorant piece of shit, I don’t give a fuck if you’re happy or not” What d’ya think? Do I get the job?

    • feministing

      the last line made me LOL

  • feministing

    i honestly couldn’t even read the letter because i don’t think it was in english

  • Robin

    Some good news. Robert is now following me on twitter.

    Well, maybe not good news… but I hopefully will get someone sweet like Chris Pratt to play me in the movie adaptation of his new book. “Wonket cash: From Soros with love”.

    • anna rampage

      Seeing how mentally deranged he is, that might just be enough to secure a restraining order….

      • Robin

        I asked him if he wants to grab a beer sometime. I bet he’s really nice in person. This “insane twitter man” persona just seems fake.

        • (((cynmac)))

          That’s how Glenn Beck started. It was just a radio show. And then between the execution of Timothy McVeigh (and his fucking book) and the Terry Schiavo case, he lost his everloving mind.
          So watch out.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Parting is Such Sweet Soros.

  • BadKitty904

    I’ll wait ’til Sen. Strom Thurmond has weighed in on this…

    • JHan

      y’all on a roll today

      LOL

      • BadKitty904

        *purrs*

  • ViveLaRes

    Whoa, dude. Take up yoga or something.

    • cat cafe

      “Na-fucking-maste, motherfuckers!”

  • cat cafe

    What a nice guy! He really has mastered the art of soaring oratory. I remember well Lincoln’s famous Gettysburg address “Four score and fucking twenty years ago, shithead, our fathers–not yours, stupid Evan Hurst, MY fucking father–brought forth on this continent a new fucking nation,” and who can forget Winston Churchill’s timeless exhortation, “We shall fight on the fucking beaches, Evan Hurst, we shall fight on the fucking landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, unlike you libtards, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, assholes.” And then, of course, FDR’s unforgettable speech, “We have nothing to fear, dickheads, unless you’re a bunch of cucks at a mommy blog, stupid Evan Hurst, assholes.”

    • Shangenda of Shanocide

      SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS!!!

    • MynameisBlarney

      I regret that I have only one upfist to give.

    • sw19roadtrip

      “Ask not what your fucking cuntry can do for you, but instead fuck you!”

      • MynameisBlarney

        “We choose to go to the fucking moon in this fucking decade, shithead, and do the other things, Evan Fucking Hurst, not because they are fucking easy, but because they are fucking hard, assholes!”

        • Objectifer

          Ich bin ein Berliner, motherfuckers!

        • TJ Barke

          “December fucking seventh, 19-fucking-41, a date that will live in infamy, Evan Hurst!”

          • MynameisBlarney

            ” We shall fucking fight on the fucking beaches, we shall fight on the
            fucking landing grounds EVAN FUCKING HURST, we shall fight in the fucking fields AND in the fucking streets, we
            shall fight in the fucking hills; we shall never fucking surrender, Evan Hurst!”

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          I served with Evan Fucking Hurst, and you’re no Evan Fucking Hurst.

    • (((cynmac)))

      Sometimes I really miss Greg Giraldo. This bit “Civil War Letters”.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTRqi99vg28

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Slow golf clap.

      I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter, sir.

  • Serai 1

    This is what you get when just any fucking idiot can get his rants published – they start to get ideas.

    • ViveLaRes

      Thanks, Amazon.

      • Swampgas_Man

        I can also get women’s wrestling porn on Amazon Kindle.

        • MynameisBlarney

          G.L.O.W.?

          I used to watch that when I was like 14, lol.

          • Swampgas_Man

            No, actual “written” porn. Not gonna provide a link, either.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Oh…
            I guess Rule #34 applies?

          • TJ Barke

            It always applies…

          • (((cynmac)))

            Glorious Ladies Of Wrestling = Human Cartoon

    • Swampgas_Man

      I’ve said it before– this “Freedom of the Press” thing just doesn’t work.

      • Serai 1

        I’m talking about books, dude. For some unknown reason, people seem to take things in books more seriously than from any other media.

      • cat cafe

        And we really need to rethink Rural Electrification

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          AMEN!

  • anna rampage

    God damn I miss the days when guys like these were relegated to calling into the Art Bell show way down on the AM radio dial…

    The interwebs – it has doomed all of humanity…

  • ViveLaRes

    This belongs on the other thread but after the soaring prose of Goofus’ missive up there, we need some levity.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/054ed843969bb30a31dccaa53fb27d923004cd24cdea3e407a3db38ee0b0032e.png

    • Villago Delenda Est

      ZOMG! It must be the end times if they’re this desperate.

    • Dee Andee

      Looks like Scott’s hemorrhoids are really bothering him today.

    • tihond

      Scott Baio: Just happy to be here. Do you have like a deli tray for guests, or a green room where I can sleep for a few days? I mean hours.

    • tihond

      Ironically, Joanie actually is a certified public accountant.

    • (((cynmac)))

      I had posted it on the other thread but without the picture. Here is the “story” from rawstory. The best quote:
      “This guy lost his own money and then rebounded, because that’s what this country is all about,” Baio said. “My father went through the same thing, though not at a billion-dollar level. And he didn’t ask anything from anybody, he picked himself up and he kept going.”
      Cavuto then asked Baio if his father wrote off his losses and didn’t pay any income taxes for years.
      “I was three, I don’t remember,” Baio laughed.
      http://www.rawstory.com/2016/10/desperate-fox-host-neil-cavuto-reduced-to-asking-scott-baio-for-expert-analysis-of-trumps-taxes/

  • JHan

    Isn’t this Robert Morrow guy the same dude who is so sexually obsessed with Hillary, he posted on fb that he had hours-long masturbation sessions thinking about her while using a .. uhm.. panty of hillary’s he bought on ebay??

    I kid you not.

    • Paganish

      OH MY (O.O)

    • anna rampage

      I wonder if he spent the extra $130 to get a pair of worn, but unwashed underwear?

      • JHan
        • MynameisBlarney
        • anna rampage

          No amount of brain bleach will never undo the crazy I have just seen…

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Are we sure this guy isn’t Alex Jones’ alter ego?

          • JHan

            He had a ” Hillary Clinton Excessive Masturbation Fantasy support group “, Betting Alex was in on that action.

        • tihond

          WHAT THE EVER-LIVING FUCK?!?

          • JHan

            To say these right wing nut jobs are “sick” is really a diss to sick people everywhere.

        • SullivanSt

          How is this guy not permanently in court losing libel cases?

          • MynameisBlarney

            No shit.
            Or in the hospital constantly.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          He seems nice…

        • jmk
        • Nockular cavity

          “Morrow…has no steady job but enjoys a family inheritance”

          Can we PLEEEEEAAAASSSEE raise inheritance taxes back up again now?

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          He’s a total loon, even by crazy Texas Republican standards.

        • Shag D

          His amazon bio says “political researcher and alternative historian”.

          At least he admits he writes fiction!

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        Worst part: it came packed in a Jeb Bush Guacabowle¡!¡!

    • Villago Delenda Est
    • TJ Barke
    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • doktorzoom

      He also likes to rate images of half-dressed anime girls sent to him by Twitter followers.

    • revenant

      if it weren’t for shit like the book-shaped object, and the letter, the FB crap cited by MediaMatters would seem like a spectacularly lame imitation of Paul Krassner’s shtick- but this guy is evidently, genuinely, the real thing- the kind of twisted pervert that gives twisted perversion a bad name

    • Hardly Ideal

      Hardly Ideal sat back in his chair, astonished to silence for a long moment.
      “I write questionable Warcraft fanfiction about human/draenei lesbians making out and living happily ever after. But this guy? Compared to him, I’m sane and vanilla.” He stood and started looking through his closet for something.
      “Honey? Do we still have that tranq rifle?” he called out.
      “Locked blue case in the garage!” Mrs. Ideal answered from the living room. “Why? What’s going on?”
      “Robert Morrow basically admitted in public that he has fucked-up fantasies about Hillary Clinton. Someone needs to stop him and call in the white coats before he kills someone and then himself.” She didn’t even look up from her paperwork.
      “‘kay, have a good time. Darts are in the freezer, in the box labeled ‘7.62-T.'”

      • JHan

        lol

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I wonder if Hillary pays taxes on all those panties she sells on the internet???

      • JHan

        suspiciously absent from her tax returns. D.C corruption at work again.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Don’t worry, Republicans are forming a special committee to piss $7 million dollars away investigating this latest allegation as we speak.

          • JHan

            50 hearings into Hillary’s shady side business selling used-panties!

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            FIFTY? Stop with the crazy talk, no less than seventy would be appropriate.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      That shit is INSANE!

    • phoenix00

      Can we call the Secret Service on this guy? Can we can we?

  • Dee Andee

    Trump must be so bummed about all these loonies coming out of the woodwork, using him to plump themselves up, and him not getting paid a dime for it. So UNFAIR!

    • tihond

      He’s probably trying to charge them licensing fees.

  • Poly_Ester

    So, as I understand this, it only took these clowns 17 years to realize they were duped, if in fact they were duped.

    • Paganish

      Super dupers!

  • SullivanSt

    I can see why he is so well liked by the rest of the Travis County GOP.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “We’re crazy, but this guy makes crazy look bad!”

    • Left Coast Tom

      Travis County is Austin, right? My theory is that the California GOP is completely batshit crazy because it’s such a small part of the state that it’s become pure distilled…batshit. Anyone with two neurons to rub together has long since abandoned them.

  • janecita

    For a “lesbian whore” Hillary sure likes to sleep with men! Hubbell, Foster, and who knows how many more!!! Wake Up Sheeple! Killary probably killed all her other lovers, look under the flowerbeds, they are all buried there!!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      For example, Benjamin Franklin, Casanova, Peter the Great, Kublai Khan, and so many others whose names are lost to history.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I have no idea who any of those people are.

      • janecita

        Also Jimmy Hoffa, he is there.

      • George Kaplan

        I betcha they never found Tessio’s body, either. Sounds like a good place to start looking.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Well…
      That would explain why her Begonia’s are doing so well.

    • Dee Andee

      So many, she had to buy the property next door and install even more flowerbeds!

    • JHan

      Illuminati confirmed!!

  • malsperanza

    I’m not usually nitpicky about typos, but when an author can’t get the apostrophe in the right place in the title of his own book, it does give me pause.

    • janecita

      That’s it, I’m not buying his book now.

      • Bad Granny

        He’s convinced me, Trump has my vote now.

    • tihond

      Maybe he is just referring to Bill as “The Clinton?”

      • MynameisBlarney

        I thought he was “The Clenis”…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Are there no editors? Are there no copy editors? Are there no people who have at least passed, even marginally, Freshman Comp and Con 101?

      • Yr. Gma

        Precious few.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Well, if you can’t take the guy seriously after he writes a well-reasoned, temperate and exquisitely phrased letter like that one, I guess there’s just no such thing as real journalism anymore.

  • JoeChristmas

    That Kurst guy sounds almost as bad as Howie Kurtz.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Kurstes, foiled again!

  • Joshua Norton

    Well, I’m sure as hell with him. I haven’t read anything so calm, well reasoned and convincing since Bill O’Reilly’s “We’ll do it live” melt down.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Fuck it!

  • Allen Jordan

    Actually, there is more fact-based evidence that Dannay Williams is Donald Trump’s illegitimate child than Bill Clinton’s.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    This guy seems, I don’t know, a little pissy or something.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      According to MoDo, he pours scotch like a woman.

  • Mavenmaven

    The secret story is that Hillary is actually Obama’s mother, her love child with Malcom X.

    • Me not sure

      “Is that Plymouth Rock in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me”?

    • tihond

      When they were both summering in Kenya.

      • revenant

        as one does

    • jmk

      “One time… at law camp…”

    • JHan

      totally legit. According to my illuminati brethren all Presidents are related. No wonder Hillz has referred to Sasha and Malia as “beautiful girls” , they’re her progeny!

      you know what this means!
      #SashaObamaForPrez2024 #MaliaObamaForPrez2032
      #illuminaticonfirmed

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Well, you said it on the Internet, so it must be true. It would be irresponsible of me not to spread your research.

  • Mahousu

    Perhaps Howard Kurst refused to “correct” his reporting because he doesn’t exist.
    I suppose Morrow could try Howard Kurtz, though I don’t think he’ll have a lot of success there, either.

    • Me not sure

      Does Kurtz sill exist, or is it only his career that died?

      • Mahousu

        I think he’s still at Fox News, after being more or less booted from the Washington Post and Daily Beast.

        • Me not sure

          Don’t forget CNN.

      • jmk

        Mistah Kurtz…he dead.

        • Me not sure

          The horror!

  • TJ Barke

    He seems nice unhinged…

    • Tony Alexander

      ~He seems nice deplorably unhinged…~

      FIFY

      • Tiaras&tweetybirds

        well he is too crazy for texas republicans,so.yeah

  • Tony Alexander

    *As for Hillary being a lesbian whore, Bill Clinton has told legions that Hillary has “eaten more pussy than I have.”*

    i’ll be in my room for a spell.

    please knock before entering!

    and bring tacos!

    • starfanglednut

      Sure. I’ll run out to the truck on the corner.

      • Tony Alexander

        you fly!

        i buy!

        soft shell and crunchy.

        and two sixes of modelo negro (heh heh, i said negro)

        let’s make this happen!!!

    • glennisw

      Which legion did he tell? The Roman legion, the foreign legion, or the American Legion?

      • doktorzoom

        Typo. Morrow was talking to his own brain lesions.

      • revenant

        Doom, Boom, Merit or Superheroes- the suggestion i get from typing “legion of” into the Googles

      • Tony Alexander

        AOT,K!

  • Me not sure

    Since there was no DNA test performed on Danny William in 1999, how can we all be sure that he is in fact what the nice Mr. Morrow says he is? If Mr. Morrow ( no relation to Edward R., I presume) has a bit of proof he would like to share, he should send it on, along with the results of Chelsea Clinton’s DNA test to show Hubbel’s paternity. I only hope that the “super real” lab reports are not full of the colorful scatological references found in his saucy bit of missive writing. I think the old saying, ” money talks and bullshit walks” is very applicable in this instance.

    • The Wanderer

      I think his only ‘proof’ exists somewhere in the yawning abyss of his skull.

    • (((cynmac)))

      This paternity claim is so out there, it hasn’t even been debunked on Snopes.com. That’s my gold standard. Along with thesmokinggun.com.

  • Yr. Gma

    Roger Altman. Wasn’t that one of Cher’s ex husbands?

    • ohpaleasegivemeabreak

      No – it was Greg Allman.

    • The Witch of Endor

      I thought he directed a bunch of weird movies.

    • mancityshowmethetaxreturns

      No, it’s where those Hell’s Angles started some trouble during a Rolling Stones concert.

    • Suse

      Yes. He plays a mean gee-tar, too.

  • Bad Granny

    Don’t be mean to the poor feller! I get cranky when my panties are all up in my butt too.

  • Rick Hill

    What happens? Do these people push out all the facts they don’t want to be true and fll the void with any meaningless garbage they find attractive?

    • Truly Madly Derply

      Pushing stuff out is what they do best.
      “PHEEWW! Do NOT go in there!”

  • Jonny On Maui

    I really should push the spawn more. I want to be a deadbeat grandpa…

  • PupperNutter

    I mean…if she is eating all the pussy AND getting pregnant by all the dudes, why do none of her detractors ever draw the obvious conclusion to quell the cognitive dissonance with which they must be plagued?

    SMH Yet another example of bisexual invisibility.

    • JHan

      bisexuals can’t get no love……….

      they say she’s frigid too. A Frigid Bisexual Femme Fatale. I can’t even.

      • PupperNutter

        They’re all just jealous because it’s clear she’s getting way more action they they are.

      • doktorzoom

        Frigid sluts are the most dangerous kind.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Yeah, because frigid sluts blow hot and cold.

  • Be careful out there, Wonkette. The unhingedness of the deplorables right now freaks me out.

    • Suse

      Me, too. I’m more afraid of getting shot by a deplorable than anyone else with a gun.

      • Dg Hacket

        Especially after I mock the everloving bejesus out of them the morning after the election!

      • Lots of people seem to be saying that they won’t display Clinton/Kaine gear out of fear. It makes me wonder about the polls and the general perception of support for Hillary’s campaign. I know during the primaries, people kept saying, “where are all these Hillary voters coming from; no one I know is voting for her,” while the fact was, a bunch of us were freaking hiding online and IRL because we didn’t want to get harassed about being Hillary supporters. But we showed up to vote. Makes me wonder if there are still a bunch of closeted Hillary supporters that just don’t want to get shot. Maybe even some who say they’re for Trump if they answer a phone call from a pollster while they’re in earshot of friends or family members. But the voting booth is private. I don’t want to go all unskewed polls here, but even a small percentage of supporters who are in hiding could be important in a tight race.

        Of course, Trump’s camp has been making a similar claim that people are supporting him but not admitting him because supporting him isn’t socially acceptable. Then again, Trumpkins are supposed to hate political correctness and I don’t think they fear violence from Hillary supporters, so that kind of sounds like bullshit wishful thinking to me, but I suppose I could be biased.

        • JHan

          you described me and many of my friends and fam. We don’t speak out about our support for Hillz. Recently I’ve been challenging people, and I do it online, but the aggression towards Hillary out there is scary.

          • It is scary, and I really only see it online. I’m basically a shut-in, and I live in an apartment and have no car, so I can’t even put up a bumper sticker or yard sign – I’m basically invisible as a Hillary supporter. But I’m here. I don’t mind speaking up online, but I’m also not visible enough that I worry much about being attacked. But I see the kinds of responses that higher profile people – especially women, and POC, get when they are vocal Hillary supporters, and I wonder how many people also see that and are intimidated into not speaking up ever.

    • Jen B_VA

      Wise. But we let them make us hide, and we allow their fear and their hate to take over.
      Choice is clear for me.

  • glennisw

    So Lesbo Hitlery had many males lovers? Makes perfect sense to me.

    What a nice man Mr. Morrow seems like.

  • Truly Madly Derply

    Not to nit-pick, but is Hillary a carpet-munching lesbimonster or a Skippy-kneed slut? She seems to have banged a lot of peen-wielders for a sister of Lesbos, is all.

    • PupperNutter

      I don’t think the guy understands how lesbians work.

      • Be Gin

        They don’t even try to get their story straight.

  • Wait…is this the guy who is the chair of one of the GOP local chapters and wears jester hat?

    If so, excuse me…going to laugh in the bathroom so i don’t pee my desk chair

    • Gregory Brown
      • Suse

        Tell me he doesn’t look like an extra in “Deliverance”

        • revenant

          wouldn’t be the first time a woman asked me to lie to her

          might be the last time i refuse, though

      • a_pink_poodle

        Whoever his barber is, he/she needs to be fired AND HARD!

        • jmk

          Awww come on… you know he cuts that himself.

          • a_pink_poodle

            I firmly stand my statement.

          • jmk

            I don’t disagree with the need to fire him hard, just with the idea that a professional haircutter did that deliberately.

          • Suse

            Floyd the Barber libelz!11!!

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            He’s more like the barber in the Seinfeld episode – the episode where Jerry was trying to cheat on his barber because he kept getting horrible haircuts.

          • Swampgas_Man

            With this guy’s attitude, I could see myself giving him a worse one.

          • jmk

            Maybe that’s the explanation – his barber hates his guts, and has convinced him that this “style” looks great on him.

            If so… that’s a masterful strategy.

        • ohpaleasegivemeabreak

          People like him let Mommy do their hair cuts and when Mommy can no longer do it – one has to find an 85 year old beehive wearing bee-eutician to keep up a style like that.

      • Logic of Color
        • Vagenda and Tiara

          NAILED it!!!!!

      • Nockular cavity

        You haircut is not our fault, Morrow.

      • Be Gin

        This guy has to be related to Donald Trump.

        The hair.

        The scowl.

        The thin skin.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Awesome haircut! I wonder if he’d loan me the bowl? Just kidding, he’s a Republican, he’d never loan anyone anything.

        • laineypc

          It is really quite imaginative. It’s a comb-forward AND a comb-over.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Those man bangs are not becoming to him at all.

    • doktorzoom

      Yup.

      • I shoild have guessed. All the “shithead” s were a dead give away

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      A jester hat seems oddly appropriate for a GOP lackwit.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Dok never gets credit fer nuthin’.

    • doktorzoom

      Well, my crappy credit rating is pretty much my own fault.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Bet mine’s worse!

        • doktorzoom

          In Gary Shteyngart’s Super Sad True Love Story, set in the very near future, city lampposts display the credit scores of everyone walking by. Great novel!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’d rather let the Morlocks take me.

          • mailman27

            All (three?) of his stuff is so great. Esp. Russian Debutante, you just gotta read it.

        • Tacoclamgenda

          Oh, I’m willing to bet that I’ve got you beat.

  • Suse

    Please, Mr Morrow. Post an unallowed comment here so we can beat the crap out of you (with votes).

    • jmk

      I would like to ask him about some of his FB posts… like his plans for when Hillary becomes president.

      • Suse

        She will be in prison long before election day!

        • jmk

          He had some definite plans, according to the Media Matters piece about him… http://mediamatters.org/research/2015/09/03/anti-clinton-author-robert-morrow-posted-bizarr/205294

          • (((cynmac)))

            WoW. Who pissed in his corn flakes?

          • jmk

            He’s bonkers enough to do that to himself… and like it.

          • YourMom

            That is some kind of mental cesspool old Robbie’s got going there.

          • Lara

            Wow. No joking, this guy seriously needs some help.

            P.S. Also: “I’ve got other aspects of my life when I’m not, you know, stopping Clinton pond scum,” insists Morrow, who has no steady job but enjoys a family inheritance. “Um, I like to work out at the gym. I like to go hiking. I like to ride my bicycle.

            He definitely has the look of s jock about him…

      • revenant

        another Pay Per View goldmine

    • Jen B_VA

      He would be so much fun to play with. And I have not et yet…..

  • Yr. Gma

    I’m curious about these “legions” Bill has been talking pussy with. Does this guy mean Bill told the audience at the American Legion about Hillary’s habits? So he told more than one audience at more than one Legion Hall? Did he get paid for those speeches?

    • JHan

      HAhaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa OH FAK. *spills drink*

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I checked with legions, phalanxes and airborne divisions and they don’t know what this dude is rambling on about.

  • sadboy

    Are we sure this author isn’t channeling Dan Ackroyd from Weekend Update? I’m surprised he didn’t start the letter with ‘Evan you ignorant slut’.

  • Nockular cavity

    Well, he seems nice.

  • SadDemInTex

    What a loser. So in the last 16 years with every Clinton hater willing to MAKE this true this has gone no where? And Ken Starr didn’t touch it…. So there is absolutely no basis in fact or in innuendo.

  • TeeRaak

    Well, my Lord!

    It does seem like Teenage Dirtbag Fiction is a real thing nowadays!
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/uxqQqGXI8lQWc/200_d.gif
    Baby

  • Nockular cavity

    So in other words, you’ve still got jack shit for evidence, Morrow. Fuck right off until you actually have something for the grownups.

    • Lara

      These guys get so used to their base swallowing every nutball conspiracy theory about the left with no backup whatsoever that I’m sure it surprises them when others don’t buy into their “reporting” without proof.

      I mean, look at any message board or news story or Twitter conversation or kitchen table where people are discussing politics and you’ll see “BENGHAZI! And also there are the EMAILS! I win!” delivered in all sincerity.

  • JParkerSD46

    C’mon dude, make up your mind. Hillary is either a major lezzy or a major whooore. Which is it? Choose one, damnit, so we can get on with our lives.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I’ve met lizzies who were whooooores for the virginia.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Stop talking about me when I”m not around!

  • chascates

    Robert Morrow is a potty-mouthed sack of fucking dog shit. And I bet he didn’t write that book.

  • aureolaborealis

    For a writer, he don’t write so good.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Word. I’m pretty sure we could insult Evan better than he did.

      • Incoming Ham

        We probably have at some point. Inadvertently

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Not much of a researcher, either, since he couldn’t even figure out whose byline was on the article.

  • aureolaborealis
  • Be Gin

    Prickly isn’t he?

    Some might say a bit “thin-skinned.” Which seems to be a hereditary characteristic of the Trump family.

    Could it be that Mr. Morrow….?

    • phoenix00

      Irresponsible not to speculate.

  • Beaumarchais?

    So we’re getting Stone & Ailes, Nixon’s scumbags, AND every sewer-dweller from the Clinton era, INCLUDING Bossie & Gingrich, PLUS Bush toilet Giuliani, with a BONUS of Trump smegmas Christie, Bannon & Farage—are there Ginsu knives thrown in? It’s a Popeil Christmas!!!1!1!!

    • (((cynmac)))

      Pocket Fisherman Libelz!!1!!

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I remember that! It still sounds dirty.

    • yyyaz

      “It’s a Popeil Poopie Ol’ Christmas!!!1!1!!”
      No thanks needed.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Act now, operators are standing by to fleece you! Errrm…I mean “take your money to elect an orange buffoon who is going to screw America so hard, you’ll all be begging GWB to come back.”

      • mailman27

        Hopefully they won’t double your order.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Hey, they’re no Wells Fargo.

    • phoenix00

      Dropping ginsu knives into those baskets of deplorables wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

  • Grokenstein

    Dok: “Jeez, Beckers, thanks for throwing me under the Republican bus wagon tricycle.”

  • idiotboy

    Well finally someone explains it to me in real English.
    Just took a coherent argument, I get it now.
    Hillary IS a charlatan
    Donald, all of the apologies,
    Dickfuck

  • TundraGrifter

    Proud author Morrow’s thoughtful communication just piles on the evidence that half the people in America are of below-average intelligence.

  • Gosala the taco zombie

    It would be the same as relying on the National Enquirer to tell you the truth about Donald Trump

    * Looks around furtively
    * Puts copy of National Enquirer in fireplace
    * Lights fire *

    Oops

    • boredcatlady

      Yeah, I thought that was unnecessarily judgy

  • What the hell is a “Deadbeat Granddad”, anyway?

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      It’s a guy who treats his grandkids the way Trump treats Tiffany Trump.

      • Very, very good point.

      • Lara

        Right, which is why it makes sense that this is a Huge Scandal. (/s)

        Honestly, I don’t care if Bill has had a hundred hooker-babies.

  • I liked him better when he was the lovable fish-out-of-water doctor on _Northern Exposure_.

    • Amalga

      Is it the same person?

      • Lori

        No. This charmer is a different Rob Morrow. This one was a GOP county chair in Texas. Because of course he was.

        • Amalga

          Oh that weirdo with the bangs right?

          • Lori

            Yes, among other weird things. He’s such a freak that he was even a little to weird for the Texas GOP, and we all know that’s really saying something. Reports indicate that they were all happy to see him leave his post as county chair a few months after he got the job. (He had to step down when he decided to run as a write-in candidate for president. I can’t roll my eyes hard enough.)

  • JD Mulvey

    I think we’ve now identified the original source of the writing style that’s swept the nation in the last ten years.

  • Incoming Ham

    “Carl Limbacher of NewsMax was digging deep into this story…”

    The only thing that anyone at NewsMax is digging deep into is conspiracy theory bullshit.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Not true! They’re also elbow deep in nose boogers.

  • R Vick

    Whoa. Struck a giant butthurt nerve!

    • Jen B_VA

      Sad no one will buy and read his book.
      Weak.

      • Thaag Tidestalker

        The only sadz is that Wonk won’t get much dough from this loaf.

    • YourMom

      That’s fun, isn’t it? These little RWNJ meltdowns are kind of entertaining.

  • It just shows how few black people these people actually know. So the smoking gun was that the kid was light skinned? Guess what? Both of my parents are African American and I have light skin and hair that turns dirty blonde in the Summer. (And before this dunderhead says some dumb stuff about my dad being the milkman, I got a 23&me kit for Christmas last year; I know what’s up.) Thanks to being dragged across the ocean and having all types of willing
    and unwilling interbreeding, we have a wide range of phenotypes. Mendel’s peas, yadda yadda.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      DNA? What izzit?

      Sorry you have to put up with these deliberately ignorant assholes.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Are you the real racist that Republicans are always babbling about?

      • If I answered you truthfully, they’d take away my Obama phone.

    • YourMom

      They’re relying a lot on waves of ignorance about things like Mendel, his peas and phenotypes….

  • boredcatlady

    Omg omg omg omg — is she a big lezzie or is she banging ALL the dudes?

    • Filthy Liar

      Both, she’s fucking insatiable. Going to be the swingingest president since Johnson.

      • TeeRaak

        Hillary hangs more to the left

  • guppy06

    Hillary was fucking both Vince Foster and Webb Hubbell.

    Read “fucking” as an adjective instead of a verb.

    Mind: blown.

  • guppy06

    As for Hillary being a lesbian whore

    Not that I think this should disqualify her regardless, but with the kinds of income she’s seen throughout her adult life I doubt she really needed any side income. So she’d be madly scissoring Huma for free.

    • JHan

      I hope she’s been getting some, politics is stressful.

    • Lara

      I like how she’s a Lesbian Whore who has tasted SO MANY VAGINAS, but she’s cheated on her beard (lady-beard?) of a husband with not one, but two men!

      Of course, all good Right Wing Soldiers know that a woman is only a lesbian because the right man has not come along to show her what a real man is and turn her.

  • Come here a minute

    Stupid Evan, Stupid Dok, and all the Stupids:

    This book will explain all: The Stupids Step Out. And Wonkette gets a (very small) cut. EVERYONE GETS A SHARE.

    Sincerely,
    Come here a minute

  • Jen B_VA

    Why do these dorks always go “READ MY BOOK!!!!”
    Do that few people actually buy the silly things?

    • It’s the Kim Kardashian path to self-enlightenment (Stay safe and be well Kim…even though you still kinda suck!)

      • YourMom

        Actually, I’m liking her a whole lot better these days than Trump and his thugs.

  • “Buy my book, you libtard shitheads!” Morrow really needs to work on his sales pitch.

  • mailman27

    To Whomever it May Concern: All evidence supporting my thesis is easily accessible by reading my book. Duh!!

    –R. Morrow

  • WomanInAMood

    Who is this person? And why the ever loving fuck should we care about what he says? Except to mock it, of course.

    • AnnieGetYerFun
      • phoenix00

        That is tres mockable!

      • WomanInAMood

        What is the word for the opposite of attractive? Because I need that word, and “ugly” doesn’t quite cover it.

        • phoenix00

          “deplorable”

          • ahughes798

            Lugubrious.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        “Goddammit Bucky! Get back in the fucking basement and stay there. you dickless little asshole!”

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0742a42852082468a8064843d2a59edbc4d8f1527a80eeb2c27c7233ea486ded.jpg

        “I swear, it’s been impossible to deal with that little shit since his porn career went in the crapper…”

      • SeeTrain65

        When you don’t have the hair for a combover, or the sense to see a barber.

      • Tosca

        IT’S THAT WEIRDO WHO IS TOO APPALLING FOR THE TEXAS BRANCH OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY! Oh my goodness. He’s written a book???

        • bupkus23

          Nah – It’s Roger Stone’s book. Morrow’s name is only on it to allow Stone to point the finger of blame at someone else ( and Morrow’s stoopid enough and fame-hungry enough to go along…. )

      • Debbies are like taco trucks

        You know, far be it from me to judge someone by their looks- I once worked with a fellow who had an appearance and hairdo similar to this guy’s.
        The thing about my coworker though– you only noticed his doofiness for the first 5 minutes that you knew him, because his intelligence, wit, and good-heartedness shone through his facade, and that became all you could see. This guy? Not so much.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          It’s funny, I actually also work with a guy who looks like him. Not in the stupid hair thing, but in the coloring, and the moles and general face structure (our guy isn’t chubby, though). The guy I work with is nice enough, but pretty terrible at his job. When I first met him, I totally recoiled and I couldn’t quite figure out why. And then when I Googled Evan’s fanboy last night, I realized it’s because they are pretty much twins.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Some people shine through their physical awkwardness. Other people magnify it by about a million.

      • YourMom

        Fucknozzle seems too kind.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Agreed.

      • dshwa

        I suspect that nozzle has never been fucked.

    • Lara

      My response is, even if true, so what?

  • phoenix00

    I was not aware we were entitled to bonus DSFB, but this is gooood DSFB.

    https://cdn.meme.am/instances/55713759.jpg

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Wow. Robert Morrow has laid out the story lines for his next 4 or 5 books right there. Wonkette should get the announcement credit as each one comes out and a dozen hand-signed, home-mimeographed first editions of each book to auction off to us lucky readers.. Work together! He obviously loves you folks!

  • Francesgconnolly

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ct429f:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !ct429f:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash719HomeDragonGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ct429f:….,……

  • Ugh! This is Ana Marie Cox’s worst post yet!

    • TeeRaak

      Needs more assfucking!!!1!1!

  • Delu

    They really didn’t want to deal with the Fartest Man Alive that they had to pick on EVAN HURST!!!???

    Come on now, it’s not like Der Doktor is even violent on his better days, I mean, he only beated up Barry Allen that one time (or maybe 2 or 3) only a teensy bit…..

  • Delu

    Oh wow, so Morrow’s only proof that the story was a plant is a guilt by association claim that because Roger Altman who owned the Starr was a BFF of the Clintons therefore it’s a plant!

    Well Morrow certainly lives up to his douchnozzle reputation then I guess.

    Also he sounds rather like a Trumpian. One of his flock I guess.

  • Cool_North

    This gutter tarse* is a republican published writer. No need to investigate further than the first deplorable impression he makes. Something in his past must have gone terribly wrong and for that he deserves all the pity he can get.

    * A wonderful source of fresh old insults and swear words is this good book https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Swear-Like-Elizabethan-Devon/dp/1903356687/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475597233&sr=8-1&keywords=How+to+swear+like+an+elizabethan+in+devon, referenced in http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3819328/Long-nosed-gouty-legged-copper-nosed-Language-historian-reveals-long-lost-words-help-swear-like-Elizabethan.html

  • bupkus23

    “…idiot Howard Kurst of Wash Post…”

    Gee – I bet Howie Kurtz is pissed. SFB Morrow can’t even get his name right….

  • Bill Slider

    I have not been able to solve the riddle that lies deep within the groin of one Hillary. Since she, allegedly, was so busy fucking, not one, but two business tycoons, while slurping, non stop, vagina skin, when did she ever find time to learn the maceranna? No wonder she chose not to make cookies like a good housewife. They would have burned.

  • Belasaurius

    damn, with all that fucking, it’s a wonder Hillary had any time to fill her basement with corpses.

  • handyhippie65

    i’d rather just give you money than to waste trees, and give this crapsack one penny of my hard earned greenbacks.

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