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Winter ain’t coming, Wonkers: it’s HERE. And that means it’s time to break out recipes that warm us from the inside. We need food that makes us feel full, and warm, and fuels us for hours, even in the bitter cold – regardless of whether we consider “bitter cold” to be 63 degrees in Palm Springs, or -35 in Manitoba.

There are lots of arguments about how to make chili. Beans/no beans, beef/pork/beef & pork, ground beef/cubed beef. You can stop argumenting once and for all now, because the discussion is over today. THIS is how you make chili. Now and forever. NO DISCUSSION!

MAKE THIS CHILI FOR THE MOUTH PART OF YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW!

Chili that's better than yours.
True Fact: it’s better than yours.

As evidenced by the fact that I only used 2 poblanos and 2 red bell peppers, this is a very mild chili. You can, of course, spice it up as much as you want, but I urge caution! It has a strong, robust flavor, and it’s very well balanced. This has a multitude of subtle flavors that play off each other very well, and you’d have to really be A Idiot to build a deep, complex flavor profile, then overwhelm it with a dozen Ghost Peppers. Step lightly, friend: you’re challenging perfection.

Drinkage: C’mon: you bought at least a 6 pack of the dark beer you need for the recipe, so: 1 for the Chili, 5 for the cook!

Time: 15 minutes prep; 2 hours cooking: 2 1/4 hours total

Serves: 8 – 12 depending on bowl size. Or 3, if you have teenagers in your menagerie.

WHAT YOU NEED:

Ingredient list?  Half the kitchen.
LOTS of stuffses!

  • 2 teaspoons oil
  • 2 onions
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 1 lb lean ground beef
  • 3⁄4 lb beef sirloin
  • 1 (14 1/2 ounce) can stewed tomatoes
  • 1 can dark beer
  • 1 cup strong coffee
  • 2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste
  • 16 oz beef broth
  • 1⁄2 cup plus 1 tbls brown sugar
  • 1 tbls cider vinegar
  • 1/8 tsp cinnamon
  • large pinch ground cloves
  • large pinch allspice
  • 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tablespoon cumin
  • 1 tablespoon cocoa
  • 1 teaspoon oregano
  • 1 teaspoon cayenne
  • 1 teaspoon coriander
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • Beans. I used Hambeens 15 bean soup, presoaked. If you prefer – WRONG! WEAK! LOW ENERGY! – you can use 4 (15 ounce) cans kidney beans
  • 4 peppers – I used 2 poblano and 2 red bell peppers.
  • OPTIONAL:

  • 2 each, jalapeno/habanero pepper.

Whatever. Our Prez Elect doesn’t need to think about consequences before upending our relationship with GYNA!, why do we need to plan out what utensils we need to cook?

WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED!

Almost there.
This part is boring. But it smells really good!

Knife skills first!

  • Chop the onions, mince the garlic, cube the sirloin.
  • Heat oil.
  • Saute onions, garlic and meat on medium heat until brown.
  • Crush the tomatoes, add beer, coffee, tomato paste and beef broth.
  • Bring to low boil
  • Add spices and peppers
  • Add beans. If being lazy, stir in 2 cans of kidney beans
  • Bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 1 1/2 hours
  • If being lazy, stir in the other 2 cans of kidney beans. Either way, taste, adjust spices, and simmer another 30 minutes.

And there you are. You’ve got a wonderfully aromatic, flavor-packed, savory dish with just a bit of a spicy afterbite, perfect for a cool fall afternoon or evening with friends. The perfect pot of chili.

Ladle into bowls, garnish as desired – we used grated cheddar, sour cream, and green onions – and serve. Preferably with cornmeal muffins.

YOU’RE WELCOME.

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  • Vienna Woods

    I love making chili, with corn bread or corn fritters. But I use black beans instead of kidney beans. I don’t know what it is, but I jut don’t like kidney beans. Those were the only ones my mother used. I aso don’t bother with chopping up onions and peppers and tomatoes, etc, I just dump in a jar or two of the salsa that I slaved over a hot stove canning back in August.
    I should try the cocoa and coffee next time. Maybe this very week…

    • SeriousSummer

      Vienna? I presume this must be an Austrian recipe for chili.
      And, black beans are still beans.

      • Vienna Woods

        Yes, I know black beans are beans. I prefer the black ones to the kidney ones. Call me crazy, I like beans in chili.

  • tehbaddr

    Ever made Seafood Chili? Well it’s called Gumbo. And canned seafood, much as I like it, will not do!

    • The Wanderer

      Yay! No canned clams references!

      • tehbaddr

        Definitely calls for fresh squid, scallops, “Jumbo shrimp”, and maybe some pulpo added at the last 5 minutes! Meh, weaklings can throw some oysters, clams, and mussels in there as well.

        • The Wanderer

          Tastiness!

  • SeriousSummer

    That’s a nice recipe for something, but it’s not chile. To star with:
    No ground beef;
    No tomates;
    No sugar;
    No vinegar;
    No tomato paste;
    HELL NO cinnamon, cloves or all spice;
    HELL NO balsamic vinegar;
    No cocoa;
    NO BEANS, NEVER, I DON’T CARE WHAT KIND;
    And it uses all the wrong pepper, you use anchos, guajillos and pasillas and if you are in a real hurry and too lazy to start with dried peppers, then, in a pinch, you can get by with Gebhart’s Chile Powder, but I wouldn’t.
    Other than that, it might be ok, but I wouldn’t know because I wouldn’t eat such a thing. I’d as soon share a taco bowl with Donald Trump.

  • Shan – Mildly Depraved

    Nice! I was already on my way out the door and headed for the grocery store!

    This is my 15yo daughter’s sad shopping list.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cc172af9a40da2fc0797ca6fcc4e43d6e6d61e581460f6bf6f1eacf4482aa128.jpg

    • boyblue123

      “No organic weird stuff”

      That made me laugh

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        She would live off of microwave Mac and cheese if I let her.

        • boyblue123

          ewww

        • Yr. Gma

          Yep. Kids. I’m impressed that you previously bought some burritos that she liked. Very seldom did I see “that you got before” on a kid’s grocery list.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Burritos are the other thing she would live off. At least they have some protein in them. Feh.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I’d bring home nothing BUT weird organic stuff and be all, “Eat or don’t. Not my problem, either way.”

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        We go through a lot of peanut butter because of that. Even the WEIRD ORGANIC STUFF.

      • goonemeritus

        My youngest can live on Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal indefinitely.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          It’s so expensive, too!

    • Ezio Auditore

      I’m surprised milk was not included in “chocolate stuff”.

    • Is ‘chocolate stuff’ … kosher?

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        Yeah. I know what she’s after.

        • Jennifer R

          At least it’s unsweetened ice tea?

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            She seems to like to take her sugar solely in the form of chocolate.

          • Jennifer R

            Well, you could introduce her to good chocolate she can’t get in the states so that she realizes how awful all domestic chocolate is?

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Oh, she knows from good chocolate. Like an any addict knows the good stuff but DGAF when they just want their fix.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Truthfully I’m surprised the spawn didn’t starve as teens. We never did the food fight or the ‘you must eat everything on your plate’ deal. It was ‘this is what was prepared. Eat it or don’t.’

      Oh, if they wanted junk food, they had to buy it.

      • Ezio Auditore

        “Ezio, we worked hard for the money to get this food for the house. Eat it or you don’t eat at all”. -My parents, 2004

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        My mom mostly stopped doing that after the Great Homemade Soup Battle we when I was in elementary school. We were not allowed to go to bed until we finished but I really, really hate squash (except for spaghetti squash) and at midnight she caved and let us have cereal. She knew she had lost because I went to sleep at 7-8 promptly, with absolutely no prodding.

      • bookish

        My dad was like, you eat what your mother puts on the table or you’ll go without. Seems fair to me.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        My parents made it a rule that you had to take – and eat – one tablespoon of everything that was served. If we didn’t like something, it would be several months before we saw it again. But we had to eat one spoonful when we did. Eventually, we learned to like trying new stuff, and that we liked stuff we didn’t think we would at first.

        • Jonny On Maui

          My parents grew up poor in the Depression, the 1930’s one. They were of the ‘clean plate’ club. I hated that. Probably why I didn’t do the same.

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        Yeah, that kind of ‘you must eat’ was one of the things that got added to the “divorce him” column regarding their father. He would also punish our son by threatening to withhold a meal for some totally unrelated infraction. Because, no. Basic sustaining foodstuff is not a weapon or a tool or a reward. It should be enjoyed.

        Ugh.

        When my son was about 18mos old, we moved from the UK to an apartment in Seattle, and I met a lady down the hall who had a 3yo+ daughter. While I was visiting and the girl and my son were sort-of playing, I watched this woman prepare her daughter three separate meals that the girl refused. I was appalled and vowed never to do that myself. Even more appalling after all that (but not exactly surprising) was that the girl was still drinking from a bottle. Home-made Bulgarian yogurt milk, no less.

        Oh, and she was still in diapers.

        • Jonny On Maui

          When children have children… sad…

      • shaar dula

        for us we had to make it.

    • calliecallie

      No cedar cheese? None of those cakes we like?

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        She’s a 15yo junk food junkie.

        *sigh*

        • Jonny On Maui

          They all are at that age. They could probably live on twigs and bark…

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Hee! That’s what she thinks I’m trying to feed her with my WEIRD ORGANIC STUFF.

          • shaar dula

            yahuh?! that’s what some of that tastes like – twigs and bark.

    • Penny Dreadful

      No cakes she likes?

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        We’re not really into cakes. Unless they sneak those Little Debbie abominations with their own money. Before that, though, they’ll get those mini-donuts. I can manage the powdered sugar ones but the chocolates are so vile. It’s like eating “cake” covered with an extra thick layer of chocolate flavored fruit wax.

        • Historicat

          If you weren’t talking about teenagers, I would swear you were my wife.

    • Shoto
      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        I’ve seen that before! It’s hilarious! I sent it to my daughter the first time she asked for them a few weeks ago but she never watched it. Even after she felt UNWELL after eating some.

        I did not get her any this trip.

    • goonemeritus

      At least she can spell, so she has that going for her.

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        Both my kids use complete sentences and no text-speak in their messages. It’s weird. That shopping list was relatively casual for her.

        • goonemeritus

          Good for you, anyone who says you aren’t parenting your ass off is full of it.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            WHO’S BEEN SAYING THAT?!

    • shaar dula

      rofl @ no organic weird stuff no one is going to eat.
      aside: if all caps is shouting. shouldn’t all small be speaking softly?

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Winter is here. I saw the white raven after it flew into the patio door and died.

    • Ezio Auditore

      Scott Pruitt: “Winter is here! See? Now will you libs stop complaining about global warming?”

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I’m pretty sure there’s supposed to be a lot more snow here in the PNW…

  • The Wanderer

    Here’s my recipe for chili (I call it “Four Hour Chili,” because it has to simmer for 4 hours):

    2 lb. ground beef (I prefer the 90/10 ratio of meat to fat)
    2 cans of dark red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
    1 can tomato sauce (low-salt)
    1 tbsp tomato paste
    1 medium red onion, diced
    1 green bell pepper, seeded and diced
    1 red bell pepper, seeded and diced
    1 yellow bell pepper, seeded and diced
    4 cloves garlic, crushed severely
    1 can diced seasoned tomatoes (with basil and oregano)
    1 tsp brown sugar
    chili powder
    black pepper
    white pepper
    cayenne pepper
    Tabasco sauce
    4 shots of really cheap bourbon whiskey (I used Kentucky Gentleman brand for this batch)
    1 beef bouillon cube
    water
    Shredded Cheddar cheese (optional)

    1. Drain the canned tomatoes, but reserve the liquid.
    2. Take the reserved liquid, add the bouillon cube and microwave it until dissolved, then add the bourbon and enough water to make 2 full cups.
    3. Heat a splash of olive oil in a Dutch oven, and saute the onion, peppers and garlic until the onions soften up.
    4. Add the meat to the veggies and brown it well. Season with chili powder, then drain the fat. Return the meat to the pot.
    5. Add the beans, tomato sauce, tomato paste, reserved diced tomatoes and the reserved liquid to the pot. Stir well and bring it up to a boil.
    6. Season it with the black, white, and cayenne peppers, Tabasco sauce (all to taste; your preferences may vary).
    7. Stir in the brown sugar to take the acidic bite from the tomatoes.
    8. After it comes to a boil, shift the heat down to low and simmer it.
    9. Simmer it for FOUR HOURS.
    10. Top with cheese if desired.

    • SeriousSummer

      I’d allow the bourbon as a legitimate ingredient, if you drank it rather than put it in the chili.

      • The Wanderer

        The congeners are what I’m looking for, to impart a bit of a smoky flavor; the water and ethanol can cook out. I dislike the taste of bourbon, and will drink it only in extreme circumstances.

  • weejee

    Mmmm. Speaking of gourmet delights, do Lindsey Graham, Bill Kristol, and the Bushies know that tRump has picked them to be food tasters?

    • Ezio Auditore

      “This chili is terrible Mr. Trump. It needs more mayonnaise and cucumbers.”

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Ever tried stirring in a can of refried beans? Thickens it up and is muy bueno.

    • SeriousSummer

      Refried beans are still beans.

      • Yr. Gma

        Geez. Picky, picky. (At least they’re not kidney beans.)

  • Courser

    Pinkham, I have a chili problem. I adore chili, but I’ve gotten very sensitive to cumin. Taste-wise, I mean. It’s starting to taste kind of soapy to me. Any suggestions?

    • Yr. Gma

      You know, I was reading recently (probably on the internet) that there is a genetic component to tasting cilantro. I wonder if it’s a similar thing with cumin.

      • Courser

        Could be. I can’t stand cilantro either, though my brothers love it (I think). But the cumin thing is kind of new, just in the last year. I’ve previously been liberal with the cumin, liking its smoky taste. But now I can even taste it in other, blended chili powders and that’s no bueno.

    • SeriousSummer

      I would suggest tomato soup. Cumin is one of the seven require ingredients in a real chile.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Did a quick search, and it appears that the best subs are Caraway Seeds, Chili Powder, and Coriander seeds. Unfortunately, many Chili Powders contain cumin, so that probably won’t help – and it’s in there already, anyway. Also, Caraway and Coriander, like Cumin, are members of the Parsley family, so, if you have the genetic disposition for one of them to taste soapy, it may carry over to them, as well. Not sure I can really help on this one.

      • Yr. Gma

        Since coriander is cilantro (which came first?), there could be a potential problem. I used some coriander in a marinade for a chicken stir fry last week because I was out of ginger. Turned out fine. Anyway, I’m no help with the cumin thing since I don’t think I’d want to live without it.

  • Yr. Gma

    I made some chili recently for the influx of in-laws, and I did not think to use the cocoa. I think I’ll try that. It has kind of a Mexican mole sound to it.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      I’ve been using cocoa in my chili for years. The first time I did it my wife thought I’d mistakenly grabbed the wrong thing from the cabinet. If I left it out now she’d think something’s missing.

  • Ryan Denniston

    A fifth of bourbon is less tasty, but also less effort, at keeping warm.

  • Jonny On Maui

    This is a good one Pink! As other folk have pointed out, the coffee and cocoa add to the overall effect.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Thanks! And yes, they do. I was hoping for more chili purists ranting in the comments that aren’t allowed, though. I am disappoint. :(

      Then again, it’s only been up for an hour or so! ;)

      • Jonny On Maui

        Oh the purists are at it!

        Chili, like BBQ, will bring out the fanatics. Cuz both are religious!

      • Jennifer R

        I would expect you would get more hate for having both beans and meat in it.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I’m generally not a purist for any recipe popularized by white men (sorry, not sorry).

          • SeriousSummer

            San Antonio Chili Queens libel!

          • Jennifer R

            I put turkey and black beans in to mine, so tasty.

          • SeriousSummer

            I’m sure you make a lovely turkey and black bean soup.

          • Jennifer R

            Bless your heart.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        I will try the coffee and cocoa next time I make a batch. I like my chili much thicker than this though. I don’t add nearly as much liquid.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Ah if only bell peppers wasn’t one of the most disgusting edible thing to ever exist I would definitely try this recipe. Since I’ve found that substitutions generally just ruin it I’ll have to figure this out on my own. Also I have never once had presoaked beans come out correctly for any recipe. Not sure if that’s just a me thing.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Try presoaking the beans in salty water overnight. Then cook them at a simmer, not a hard boil. You may be pleasantly surprised.

      Edited for clarity.

      • Yr. Gma

        I’m gonna try that on Gpa, noted bell pepper hater.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I was a bit enigmatic, sorry. This is how to get dried beans to come out creamy and delicious. I do NOT recommend it for peppers. Of any kind.

          • Yr. Gma

            Well, poop.

        • Jonny On Maui

          For some strange reason, I don’t care for green peppers but have no problem with any other color…

      • Jonny On Maui

        Good morning WomanInTheResistance! May I say it’s different to see you in the daylight. How are you this day?

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I’m very well, thank you. And it is nice seeing you during the day, as well. I hope you are having a pleasant, well I guess it’s still morning for you?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Yes, still in the am. Tis a rainy day. Watching the rain, drinking coffee, reading Wonk and listening to Steppenwolf. Life is good.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Sometimes crappy weather days can be very nice. It’s also quite cold and wet here, and I’m just going to hang out at home and do nothing. I had planned on getting a Christmas tree, but it’s just too damn nasty out.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’m gonna have to get off my butt here pretty soon and get some stuff done. I did manage to get to the farmers market without getting soaked. I’ll have to de-cat my lap. That’s not going to go over well…

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Misty and Elf will be rightfully disgruntled. But they are cats, and that is the natural state of things.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I wouldn’t mind it so much if Misty wasn’t trying to crawl into my bellybutton. You haven’t really lived until you experience a cold cat nose burrowing into your naked bellybutton.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            And to think that I had always thought I have really lived. Wonkette, come for the recipes, stay for the education. ;)

    • Rick Hill

      These have a similar taste but not that underlying nastyness that bell peppers have. Mildly spicy. Generally
      http://alibi.com/image/pix_id/38389/Most-chile-is-descended-from-the-New-Mexico-No-9.jpg

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I can’t eat spicy because I have mild GERD and also spicy food is known to cause me asthma attacks (sometimes just the smell).

    • bbayliss

      bilious.

  • calliecallie

    White chicken chili. That’s all.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3a5BsmxNJ0

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      If you’re going with chicken it tastes better in green chili (trust me).

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        that is CHILEEEEEE

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      White chili is gross, like white pizza. What the hell is everything going white in this country?

      • Requin de la Résistance

        “All Things Must Be White”
        Reich Decree #12 by Order of the Trümpenführer

      • calliecallie

        I like white pizza too. It’s just that my stomach doesn’t like cooked tomatoes. (Is that spelled right? Curse, you, Dan Quale!)

  • calliecallie

    Anyway, today I am making French Onion Soup, because this whole Trump presidency makes me want to cry.
    http://wonkette.com/607617/the-only-way-to-make-french-onion-soup

  • bookish

    All that spice. Smells delicious from here.

  • Nounverb911
    • Ezio Auditore

      You know, I’ve never had s’mores outside the pop tarts flavored ones.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Use a good dark chocolate rather than anything from Hershey’s…

        • bookish

          Season with beach sand or pine woods smoke. Or desert mesquite.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        You have missed out on one of the jewels of American cookery, my friend.

      • Sister the Resister!

        pop tart smores are NOT smores. You need to find a campfire!

    • bookish

      Flan, or tres leches cake.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    OT: me: just sitting, talking to you guys… me: I can’t breathe. Scampers (roommate’s cat) is about to be really upset with me (she has taken to sleeping by my feet)

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Are you ok?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Yeah that was really weird. It didn’t seem like an allergy because I can breathe now (although my throat is slightly sore) and generally I only stop breathing if I smell something I’m allergic to and the air hasn’t changed in the last 15 minutes so I’m really confused.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          If it happens again, may I strongly and lovingly suggest you go to urgent care? Please?

  • notaten

    1. Make a pot of beans. I am not a coastal elite so I always have used pinto beans.
    2. Brown your meat in a skillet, throw in some chunky chopped up onions toward the end, just to soften them a bit..
    3. Dump the meat into the beans.
    4. Add 1 or 2 cans of Hatch red enchilada sauce, depending on how many beans you have and how soupy you want it. Add a big can of whole peeled tomatoes that you have crushed up with your hands, or crushed tomatoes same thing I guess. Throw in some coarse ground black pepper.
    5. Bring it to a boil, then turn it down to a slow simmer for at least an hour. Taste, add whatever you think it need, simmer another 1/2 hour.
    6. Eat and enjoy.

    • SeriousSummer

      That’s a bowl of pintos, if you want to know. It can be a fine dish, although your version is awfully anglified. It is not chil.

      • notaten

        SeriousSummer is very serious! Growing up we ate these about once a week, using leftover beans, we just called them chile beans,. Chile colorado is a whole other dish.

        • SeriousSummer

          Yes. Chile beans is acceptable terminology. It’s an end of the month classic.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    As long as we are talking about cooking, I am planning a menu for a counter inaugural get together. First items on the menu are Pepe the Frog’s legs, Yertl the Turtle soup and Candied Yam. Any other suggestions?

    • Sister the Resister!

      Well, Cheetos, of course.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Of course.

      • Rick Hill

        Crushed Cheez Its will do in a pinch.(but NEVAR Cheeze Nips!!)

    • Requin de la Résistance

      Brazed Apricots with a Mango Glaze?

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Pasta Putinesca?

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      Hot wings (using only right wings)? maybe in a peanut-job sauce?

  • Nounverb911
  • SeriousSummer

    Outrage! My chili recipe has been deleted from the comments which do not exist. How can we make MAGA if we can’t even make chili? I blame a cabal of Russian hackers, Pinkham, Rudy Giuliani, the Chinese, some Pizza Place and a 400 lb. Chris Christie working from his basement in New Jersey!

    • WomanInTheResistance

      One of these things is not like the others. Pinkham wouldn’t do that.

      • SeriousSummer

        I would place no behavior beyond someone who recommends putting cocoa in your chili.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          While I admire your steadfast defence of chili purity, I think that you are missing the fact that Pinkie was hoping for impassioned defenders of chili to come swarming here. You are making him very happy, in other words. He would sooner eat jello salad than delete your very fine recipe.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            So, a dude from South Carolina declares HIS chili to be the definitive one, and you assume he’s trolling? I’m shocked. SHOCKED, I say!

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Who on earth said anything about trolling? I merely assumed that, along with posting a delicious sounding recipe, you were hoping to encourage a lively, impassioned discussion. About something other than the fucking election. And I, for one, salute you.

        • notaten

          A lot depends on what part of Mexico your people come from as to what goes into the recipe. Sonoran vs. Chihuahuan vs. Baja, etc. In many parts of southern Mexico cocoa is common in a lot of dishes. Give it a try sometime!

          • SeriousSummer

            Cocoa is fine in black mole. I had an excellent one in Oaxaca a couple of months ago. Coffee is wonderful in Java Stew.
            But neither of those ingredients belong in chili.

    • bookish

      Disqus hiccuped a few moments ago. Ate my comment too.

      • SeriousSummer

        Sure just coincidence. Just as it was pure coincidence the Russians released the emails hacked from Hilary’s campaign, but not the Republicans.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Perhaps you could post it again? If it disappears twice, then we’ll know we’ve been compromised, in a security kind of way I mean

          • SeriousSummer

            Done. But I doubt it lasts longer than a snowball in a Texas Summer.

  • Shoto

    When will the Wonkebago be arriving with the chili delivery, exactly?

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    First of all, chile is spelled with an “e”. Second you can’t make chile without chiles. Hatch green or red chiles. Third, I add corn. HERESY!

    • SeriousSummer

      Chile, the peppers, is spelled with an “e”. Chili the mixed dish is spelled with an “I”. Except in New Mexico, where it is a different dish.
      Jeffocaster in the EAST.

  • TX Taco Truck Brigade

    “THIS is how you make chili. Now and forever. NO DISCUSSION!”

    As a Texan, I haz a suspicious.

    Kidding Pink!

  • TundraGrifter

    No bacon? Whiskey Tango Foxtwat?

    Chop a few slices of thick cut bacon and fry in the bottom of the pot. Add the spices and let them smoke a bit – then throw in the diced onions.

    Half a cup of sugar? Is this a Christmas cookie recipe?

  • ScottRS

    I take any leftover smoked brisket and/or pork shoulder from the summer’s barbeque-ing, freeze that in tomato sauce or stock, and use THAT in the winter’s chili.

    • SeriousSummer

      Frozen in beef stock, that might be allowable.
      NO TOMATOES!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Hey. We put up gallons of peach tomato cilantro salsa with black beans and roasted corn and it makes a righteous base for slow-cooked short ribs. Would it be better if I called it ragout?

        • SeriousSummer

          Yes. Perfectly acceptable. But then I’m not Italian.

          • Jonny On Maui

            LOL! Thanks for the smile!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I partly am. Can I sign off?

            Good catch, btw. Ragout (french) and ragu (italian) are very similar.

    • mancityRed6

      leftover bbq?
      uh, I think you’re doing it wrong

  • Requin de la Résistance

    And winter has officially arrived: SANTACONGHAZI!!!11!1!!!

    Santacon protesters and revelers clash during bar crawl

    • WomanInTheResistance

      A whole new front in the War on Christmas.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Nah. It’s a yearly brawl. EaterNY published the crawl list earlier in the week for people who wanted not to be vomited on.

  • Jonny On Maui

    I’m kinda surprised no one has posted anything like this yet…

    https://youtu.be/I2XfVml6o24

  • COOKING WITH MISTY MALARKEY

    On a whim I made some Shoo Fly Pies for a couple of my Yankee friends last week. I had never tasted one and only heard of them fro my friends constantly harping on how yummy they were..

    Turns out the ones I made were proclaimed DELICIOUS and JUST LIKE THE AMISH MAKE! For myself, well, they were no chess pie but OK, I guess for a molasses and crumbly pie .

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      Which recipe did you use?

  • SeriousSummer

    A Proper Chili Recipe

    2 Tablespoons oil (or oil from rendered suet; rendered bacon
    barely acceptable)

    1 Onion, chopped

    2 Cloves of garlic, more if company allows

    2 lbs. Beef, cubed in 1-inch pieces

    12 chile peppers, anchos, guajillos or pasillas in any
    combination (that’s the order of heat)

    Salt to taste

    Comino, about one teaspoon or a bit more

    Oregano, to taste, optional

    Masa harina, if necessary

    Soak the chiles in hot water to cover for 30 minutes,
    process until smooth in a food processor or blender, strain and reserve

    While the chiles are soaking, sautee the onion in oil or fat
    until translucent, add the garlic (don’t let it brown) and brown the beef
    cubes. Use a cast iron dutch oven if possible. If you don’t have one, do the
    best that you can.

    Pour the chile liquid over the meat, add liquid to cover by
    an inch or two (water if fine, beef broth or beer permissible) and simmer until
    the meat is almost dissolved, about two hours.

    If the chile is not as thick as you would like, mix a cup of
    liquid from the chili with a tablespoon of masa harina and put back into the
    pot of chile to thicken.

    Eat with corn tortillas or cornbread.

    • SeriousSummer

      We’ll see how long it takes this time for the International Cabal to take down my recipe.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      This sounds delicious.

      • SeriousSummer

        It is. And it will warm your insides.
        I could live on a rotation of chili, a bowl of pintos, and green chile stew all winter–if I actually worked for a living and could stand the calories.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Very Puritan!

      • SeriousSummer

        I think I’m extremely liberal in allowing the optional oregano.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Hint: Mexican oregano…

          • SeriousSummer

            Of course. I grow it myself so I know it’s genuine.

  • TJ Barke

    Replaced beef broth with 10W40, tasted awful, but running smoothly… 5/10.

  • crunchyknee

    Being more and a better liberal than you, I’ll make your chili recipe sans dead animal parts, substituting with Seitan and veggie crumbles, it will be bigly good.

    • notaten

      Elitist!! No, really, meatless chile is just as yummy and satisfying to me as the meat version, sometimes I prefer it., even though not vegan myself. And I do luuuve me some vegetarian lasagna!

    • Nockular cavity

      Get thee behind me, Seitanist! I use only the body of Christ in my chili.

      • Jonny On Maui

        How many boxes of the wafers?

        • Paul

          Does sacrificial wine go with chili?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Only in excess…

          • Paul

            Did you mis-spell “in excelsis deo”?

    • Yr. Gma

      Seitan is good in some things, but chili isn’t one of them. I prefer my veggie chili all beans (pinto and black.)

    • SeriousSummer

      I don’t think we are winning the working class back with seitan “chili”.

  • Jennifer R

    You have to have cornbread with your chili. I posted a good cornbread recipe few weeks ago.

  • Peggy Ryan

    Put you some Fritos on top.

    • notaten

      Mom???

  • Snopes Shop

    I am literally making this today. Heading to Von’s now.

  • DainBramage the BBROYGBVGW

    Sounds great. I’ll be making this soon.

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      Almost nobody does color codes anymore. It’s a dying art. *sigh* It’s kinda hard to resolve stripes on an 0402 resistor anyway…

  • Jonny On Maui

    Two reasons. It was the first one that came up on my getoffyourass mix and why don’t I have raccoons like that in my neighborhood?

    https://youtu.be/CEjU9KVABao

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Hey. Confused. Splain me. I mostly see white-probably-navy beans in that picture?

  • JVisconti

    Recipe sounds very tasty. Chili’s (the franchise), says we really didn’t mean anything with the name.

  • JustDon’tSayDittos

    Mrs Don’t is in the kitchen making Martin Yan’s Grandma’s fried rice. Features: Glazed pork butt (already ate some of that), duck confit, and shrimp. I’m a lucky Don’t!
    We ate this at M.Y. China a few weeks ago, and it’s basically food’s answer to [insert pleasant drug name here].

    • Yr. Gma

      I love my Martin Yan cookbook.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Ours is autographed! Gift from the manager, because they were out of a featured guest chef the first day it was offered, and the Mrs. Yelped about it. The inscription is “To a fabulous cook who has great taste!”
        We also got a picture of her with Martin. How cool is that?

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Very, very cool.

          • JustDon’tSayDittos

            This all took place over two visits to M.Y. C. Which means two tasty dinners.
            om nomnomnomnomnom!

  • notaten

    This really does sound delicious, although I would have to leave out the bell peppers. And I would just call it soup instead of chile, but that’s because it doesn’t fit my own special definition of chile. ;)

  • Uh-huh.

    Here’s a recipe for a cuminiferous chili spice mix. This makes 8 teaspoons of it; it’ll probably be easier on you in the long run to make it in a larger batch.

    Cuminiferous chili spice mix (8 tsp):
    1 tbsp cayanne pepper
    1/4 tsp garlic granules
    1/4 tsp onion powder
    1/4 tsp red pepper flakes (such as ground dried chile japones)
    1/4 tsp oregano
    1/2 tsp paprika
    1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
    1 tsp salt
    1 tsp ground black pepper

    Once you have that in hand, this is a chili recipe that makes use of it:

    4 tsp beef buillon powder
    2 tbsp cuminiferous chili spice mix
    4 oz dried chilis, such as 16 guajillos; ground to powder
    1 oz chipotles; ground to powder
    1 tbsp garlic granules
    1 tbsp salt

    Lard to grease pot
    1 lb ground beef
    Masa, two ounces
    1 lb ground pork
    6 jalapeños, chopped
    4 cups water
    1 red onion, chopped

    Brown ground beef in large pot. Drain mostly-fat into small saucepan; make roux with masa.

    To pot, add ground pork; brown.

    Add water, dry spices, jalapeños.

    Bring to boil. Add roux. Simmer 15 minutes.

    Add chopped onion. Serve.

  • The Wanderer

    OT, but the Teeny-Dicked Bugfucker put in an appearance at the Army-Navy Game, whereupon Army promptly coughed up the ball and Navy scored a TD.

    • notaten

      Go Navy!!!

      • The Wanderer

        I was in the Navy.

        Go Army!!!

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          LOL

        • Jonny On Maui

          I was in the Army.

          Go Navy!!!

          • weejee

            The same.

            Go Navy!!!

          • Resisting the Urge – Holly

            Navy! I was in the Navy….Not that there’s anything wrong with that…..

        • notaten

          LOL! I had a Division Officer once that begged us Chiefs to go watch the game with him at the O-Club because he wanted to have a good time, and he HAD to go (I think we were in Guam? maybe) We did scandalize the whole wardroom with our behavior, but had a great time. Otherwise, I’m like, meh, who cares

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          Dad was USAF NCO my whole pre-adult life.
          Go…baseball!

          • Jonny On Maui

            FTW!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Replace 1/4 of that brown sugar with maple syrup.

    • Yr. Gma

      No.

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    I think I love you and want to marry you.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Oh this should be fun to watch!

      *gets popcorn*

    • Blacktop Autumn

      You’re still not getting my Bud Light.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      My husband may have something to say about it, but the sentiment is appreciated.

      • Nasty Candy Apple

        I’m heterosexual and a girl, but I still think we can make this work.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Open to discussion. Go ahead.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Nowhere near as good as Master Toomush’s chili – I guarandamntee it…..

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    What, no raisins?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Alright! To your room!

    • notaten

      YOU MONSTER!!111!! I know that’s the traditional response to that other thing, but I feel it is VERY appropriate here!! Good day SIR!!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Alas I have but one up for this…

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Can I help it if all y’all are stuck in the Middle Ages? We live in an age of open minds and open mouths to new sensations!

        Oh yes, and this, not my recipe but similar: http://www.shockinglydelicious.com/chili-mole-with-red-beans-and-raisins/

        Try it, you’ll like it.

        • notaten

          NOPE!! Blasphemer!!!!!!!

    • Jennifer R

      Where are the peas?

      • Jonny On Maui

        You too!

        • You are on fire tonight!

          • Jennifer R

            If Jonny had ranks in pyrokenesis I suspect *I* would be the one on fire.

          • I am the lead co-planner of The Great Wonkette Multi-Nation Road Trip & Maui Invasion.(TM) i think i am up first for immolation

          • Jennifer R

            Due to breakfast I thought you said first up for molestation.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Once the invasion is over and everyone is settled you and me are headed to the big island. There’s a volcano I wish to introduce you to…
            :-)

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’m not a chili Calvinist, more of a Unitarian, but some things are just not kosher when it comes to chili…

          • Shoto

            Oy!

      • notaten

        You, Wha, Gaaak,, I, Fuuu…YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL US ALL!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!!!!!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        In the guacamole, of course.

    • Shoto

      Maybe they’re buried under the cabbage rolls?

  • Jennifer R

    Saw the secretary of state stuff and decided that today breakfast will be Rubicon First Contact. Not one for pale ale, but roommate likes the stuff.

    • notaten

      I really like the Stone Arrogant Bastard to have for breakfast lately. It will kill all tastebuds, empathy and emotions for the rest of the day. I should probably say also that is is like 9% ABV

      • Jennifer R

        I had a nice 24 ounce 8% hard cider a few days ago. The wonderful part of day drinking with my med load out is that I then eat nothing else so it’s a net weight loss!

        • notaten

          While I can’t say that I haven’t followed this diet, especially in the past month, still I don’t really encourage this. We must be strong for the camps, Comrade!

          • Jennifer R

            A bit of liquid courage is required in these post health care times.

          • notaten

            Post health care. That should be less of a thing than post truth. WTF happened to us?

          • Jennifer R

            Didn’t you know? This is purgatory and our lot is to watch everyone (ourselves included if you pay enough attention) make the mistakes that make ourselves miserable every single day in every single way.

          • notaten

            Thank for cheering me up! I think I still have one of those beers here somewhere…

          • SeriousSummer

            Purgatory you get out of some day. I’m not sure that’s happening here.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OT alert: going4baroque is trolling on the Team Trump story.

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      Oh, nice! S/he/it usually just trolls ME!

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Why is it still here?

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          I keep wondering that.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            IK, R? It’s tedious and borderline creepy. And profoundly stupid.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I just posted GFY to everything it said because that’s the last thing it posted to me on my nice-time post about when my dad and stepmom got to meet Maddow.

            Yes, I’m 12 today.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Good for you. I hope it was cathartic.

          • notaten

            My guess is this is the only place s/he can express deeply held beliefs from opposite land without receiving death threats or worse. Cuz we’re nice like that, even to craaaazy like that

          • WomanInTheResistance

            That’s a good point, one that I hadn’t considered.

        • Shoto

          Where is the little twit? I want a shot at it…

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Go to the Team Trump story (the one just before this one.) This particular troll does us the favor of replying!

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Team Trump/CIA thread! Have fun!

    • Jonny On Maui

      To borrow from you…

      ffs…

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Somebody really needs to find that one a new hobby.

    • Shoto

      Excellent. I trained for a few hours earlier today, so I’m more than ready to spar with a shitbag little troll.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Go get ’em!

        • Shoto

          With pleasure.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Pharmacy must’ve been out of his (her? I’m thinking guy, though) meds again this week.

  • SeriousSummer

    I now understand why the American left is failing. Even here at Wonkette there is so much wrong thought. If we can’t make chili we will never win elections.

    • janecita

      I agree, now give us your recipe!

      • boyblue123

        free range kale with hot sauce.

        vegan chili…boom!!!1111!1!!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        He did, keep scrolling.

        • janecita

          Thanks.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        It’s downthread. And very tasty looking as well. A traditional Texan recipe.

        • janecita

          Thanks

    • janecita

      I just saw it. It sounds delicious.

    • The DepravedDemmeFatale

      naah…
      No one ever agrees on chili (or cornbread, for that matter).

  • Resisting the Urge – Holly

    Chili with mole sauce and and and beer? Totally!

  • fauxpinky

    I understand the beer part. And I will side-eye you over the beef broth… But, coffee in chili? What, you were out of lighter fluid?!

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      No, it’s good. It goes with the cocoa.

    • notaten

      Ever had red-eye gravy?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Meth. He was out of meth…

      • Shoto

        I wonder if we can substitute straight-up crack?

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Oooooo…..fancy!

        • Jonny On Maui

          You will need to return it to powdered form…

      • The DepravedDemmeFatale

        speaking of meth…
        last night i fainted (long story) and went face first into the floor.
        as the ER doc was sewing up the bottom lip i almost smashed through with my teeth, he cheerfully said:
        “This is a piece of cake. Thursday night i had to sew up the mouth of a guy freaking out on meth.”

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          Dear lord. I hope you heal quickly. That sounds like a bad night!

          • The DepravedDemmeFatale

            Thanks!
            but mostly, i felt for the emergency people.
            they had to climb up 4 flights, then carry me down 4 flights in a wheelchair.
            Rowr, the biceps on those firemen!
            you’ve gotta really be in shape when you work in San Francisco!

          • JustDon’tSayDittos

            Hell, you gotta be in some shape to WALK in SF!

          • The DepravedDemmeFatale

            really.
            my old dr. in palo alto told me to get a little exercise by walking on flat ground.
            Um…

    • Vel Venturi

      Also good in barbecue sauce.

      • Ezio Auditore

        Well fancy meeting you here, fellow TMSer.

        • Vel Venturi

          Chili plus political snark? I will always show up for that!

          • Ezio Auditore

            On the TMS facebook page I am Andy Longo

    • Carpe Vagenda

      nah, that part I get. Coffee is bitter, so it cancels the too much sugar.

    • LucindathePook

      One puts coffee in Jewish honey cake.

  • Ezio Auditore

    The arguments in this comment section are very chili-ing…

    I tried.

    • notaten

      It Ancho problem man

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Habener-no shame?

        • notaten

          First world problanos

  • weejee

    Well like Patti did today in Sweden, we stumbled this November, ♪ and what’ll you do now my darling young one?

    • weejee

      And iffin’ ya want to sing along…

      Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son
      And where have you been, my darling young one
      I’ve stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains
      I’ve walked and I’ve crawled on six crooked highways
      I’ve stepped in the middle of seven sad forests
      I’ve been out in front of a dozen dead oceans
      I’ve been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard
      And it’s a hard, and it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
      It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall

      Oh, what did you see, my blue-eyed son
      And what did you see, my darling young one
      I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
      I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it
      I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin’
      I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin’
      I saw a white ladder all covered with water
      I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken
      I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children
      And it’s a hard, and it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
      It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall

      And what did you hear, my blue-eyed son?
      And what did you hear, my darling young one?
      I heard the sound of a thunder that roared out a warnin’
      Heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world
      Heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a-blazin’
      Heard ten thousand whisperin’ and nobody listenin’
      Heard one person starve, I heard many people laughin’
      Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter
      Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley
      And it’s a hard, and it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
      It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall

      • weejee

        Oh, what did you meet, my blue-eyed son?
        Who did you meet, my darling young one?
        I met a young child beside a dead pony
        I met a white man who walked a black dog
        I met a young woman whose body was burning
        I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow
        I met one man who was wounded in love
        I met another man who was wounded with hatred
        And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
        It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall

        And what’ll you do now, my blue-eyed son?
        And what’ll you do now, my darling young one?
        I’m a-goin’ back out ‘fore the rain starts a-fallin’
        I’ll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest
        Where the people are many and their hands are all empty
        Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters
        Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison
        And the executioner’s face is always well hidden
        Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten
        Where black is the color, where none is the number
        And I’ll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it
        And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it
        Then I’ll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin’
        But I’ll know my song well before I start singin’
        And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
        It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall

        • Dazza

          Thanks WeeJee. On the 20th and 21st January 2017 I be thinking about these lyrics – and keeping in mind all of the Wonketteers who will be marching. Good luck and good hunting (for justice) for all of you!

    • Ezio Auditore

      She won a nobel prize?

      • Sister the Resister!

        she performed, because Bob D did

  • Shan – Mildly Depraved

    Semi-related rant because it’s about food:

    I got back from the grocery store a while ago. Spent probably close to 2 hours there, which is my punishment for avoiding the place for so long. But I escaped with an overflowing grocery cart for about $200 so that wasn’t too horrible.

    The rest is tl;dt (too long;didn’t type): Shortened version is: I can see my telling the checker & bagger to keep the meat separate as them needing to ask me “Do you want each package in a separate bag?” but WHO IN FUCK doesn’t understand the need to keep raw meat separate from the raw fruit and vegetables?! How is it that people who are handling our food on a daily basis not trained in basic food safety?

    Also, why doesn’t the bagger ever get the idea of looking ahead to what’s being unloaded onto the conveyor belt and think “Hey, I should get an empty cart to load up all this bagged stuff so it doesn’t clog up the entire area”? I can’t count the number of times I’ve done that for them and they’ve looked SO SURPRISED at how much faster it makes the line go.

    Done ranting for now.

    • Jennifer R

      I once worked at a super market (In about 2008) I had about 4 hours of training and none of it involved meat handling. Mostly (2 hours) was about not selling alcohol or tobacco to anyone without an ID (I once refused to sell cigarettes to a uniformed police officer because he didn’t have an ID on him felt good). There was a bit on how paper bags were a nickle for 20 but the plastic ones were 100 for a penny so always ask “Is plastic ok?”. I had a special segment on the gas kiosk because that was my job. I think there was something on how to handle eggs as well, and a general put cans on the bottom. Hell there was 15 minutes on remembering to look at the under carriage of the cart. Basically it was all ways to minimize direct obvious liability to Kroger’s. If you got food poisoning then it doesn’t matter, but if you had broken eggs we would probably have to give you new eggs.

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        In HS, I did a job-training thing of some sort that involved bagging groceries and it was just about…spacial organization. Of course I aced it, but there was nothing to do with not putting leaky packages of raw chicken on top of your fucking APPLES.

        Sorry. Thought I was done ranting…

        • Blacktop Autumn

          I will say, to be fair, a lot of retail training has gone down hill. During my recent stint in edumication I worked unloading trucks and stocking shelves. After and during the unload another group not unloading would “bowl” out the boxes into the aisle.

          Target had a simple system. It could look like A21 3-2-12. That’d mean aisle A21, the third section, second shelf, and 12th spot.

          You’d be surprised at how many people NEVER managed to learn this.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            But still. RAW MEAT WITH RAW FRUITS AND VEGGIES!

            Sorry to rant on like that, but JFC. My kids both took FACS in school and know better.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            I get it, I do. I’m just saying that it isn’t obvious to some people is all, and retailers don’t give a shit.

            No one even FIFOed (first in, first out) any of market. We weren’t even given time to do so. Everything is run by a time sheet and speed is all that matters. I found a four year old box of Cheerios once.

            It’s worse when you consider we had a large frozen section, dairy, and fresh fruit and vegetables.

          • TheAmazingBearded2Spirit

            I ran the drug/gm department at a Kroger for 9 years. Everyone thought I was nuts because I wanted everything FIFOed, even light bulbs, because packaging ages and yellows.

          • The DepravedDemmeFatale

            you must be why they ask me about packing sometimes.
            i don’t care or notice what they do.
            my bad!

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I used Blue Apron for a while (for various reasons) but stopped because the meat packets kept bursting open and leaking all over the rest of the contents of the box that included raw vegetables I was supposed to use for fresh salads. Yeah, I washed the fixings anyway but… How long was that kale marinating in that meat juice on my front porch in July and how exactly am I supposed to safely wash it all off? No thanks.

    • Jonny On Maui

      My OCD takes over at the grocery store. Everything is organized as it goes on the belt, fruit and veggies seperate from the meat seperate from the dry and seperate from the cleaning/chemical.

      Then the bagging person just throws stuff willynilly into a bag…

      I really should have stroked out by now. My first real job was bag boy…

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        Yeah, I usually go the same route through the store and put all the things in their proper places in the cart so that when I unload it (usually in stages) they can put all the right things together because it’s pretty obvious. Today, I went off-route several times and ended up with a disorganized cart. But still, I put ALL the meat on the bottom and unloaded it last, telling them to keep it separate.

        They put raw chicken ON TOP OF MY CUTIES! And raw sausage WITH MY BROCCOLI!!!

        • Pinkham’s Law

          F’in heathens.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Now I have to wash all my cuties. The broccoli might be okay since I’m planning to bake it with Panko breadcrumbs and parmesan (new recipe). BUT THEY DIDN’T KNOW THAT DID THEY?!

          • Jonny On Maui
          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Just keep the chicken-meat off of them, okay?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Oh Shan, if I only could have gotten the free range ones foraging under the tree into the photo…

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Hey, as long as they don’t bleed on the fruit.

          • The DepravedDemmeFatale

            do you have a lot of fruit trees?

            (go on. i can take it. i live in CA, so you won’t make me cry.)

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’ve got naval oranges, 2 varieties of lemons, lime, avocado, guava and papaya. The apple trees are trying but it’s really not the right climate…

            Oh, and the cuties…

          • The DepravedDemmeFatale

            I had feijoas (pineapple guavas) and quinces(!) at my old house.
            I’m amazed you don’t have mangoes or bananas.
            (And yes, Mr. Fatale thought pineapples grew on trees before we went to Maui.)

          • Jonny On Maui

            I forgot. I’ve got 4 varieties of banana…

        • The DepravedDemmeFatale

          but Shan, (calm down, honey).
          at least some one bags your groceries.
          when my girls were little, we lived in NY, and had to bag our own.
          i usually had one or two squalling kids in tow. not fun.
          there was always an overworked female at the register and a little office that was usually crammed with male “managers” that didn’t look like they were doing anything.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I’ve been through plenty of bag-your-own lines with my kids at various stages and ages in different countries and different states and I’ll take any of that over having to be that asshole in the line who makes the staff go get me a new box of Cuties or head of broccoli because the bagger ruined it with the raw chicken. My complaint is that they should KNOW better. Not their fault, it’s their lack of training.

            I’m normally a calm person but this has happened too many times at this store. I do appreciate my groceries getting bagged and I’m always nice to the bagger even when they fuck up like this. And I’m even nice the 79yo guy who ties all the bags together so the contents stay in on the way to the car/on the way home and I have to cut them all open when I’m putting them away.

            Maybe I should just go with Amazon Fresh.

      • Jukesgrrl

        I do the same divisions then I stand there making SURE the stuff is bagged group by group. I don’t pay until it’s done right. And I, too, worked in a market … so I know it’s not that hard.

      • shaar dula

        yup that’s the only solution with a hope. organize the belt.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      One of my pet peeves is how they handle bread. SANDWICH BREAD DOES NOT GO IN THE BAG STANDING ON END!!!! AND IT GETS ITS OWN BAG, ALWAYS!!!! *ragestroke*

      • Yr. Gma

        Under the milk but not the eggs.

        • shaar dula

          didn’t get this. bread under milk? why gma why?

          • Yr. Gma

            I’m not advocating it. I’m just saying that’s what my bagger does.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          I was too afraid to even GET eggs this time.

      • TheAmazingBearded2Spirit

        They usually put 3 or 4 loaves in one plastic bag here. Bananas with canned food is another one the young baggers do. I started keeping extra bags in my car so I can rebag while loading my car.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I’m from Long Island. What is a bagger, please?

    • Sister the Resister!

      I usually opt for places that have a bag-it-yourself system – I’m picky about what goes where, how it’s tetrised together, and what cold stuff goes next to what. Also bring my own bags (they charge 5c per paper bag in Eugene, no plastic grocery bags allowed).

      But I also shop at Trader Joe’s and those guys know how to bag properly, thank goodness. Somebody’s paying attention.

    • shaar dula

      no no. grocery bagging is a science onto itself. I too get anal about bagging and transporting breads, leafs and tomatoes, egg plants and many fruits.

  • zerosumgame0005

    *sniff* (in a stuffy voice) it has beans, so it is NOT chili!

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      I am a-fucking-mazed it took this long for someone to post that. Chili snobs can often be quite strident vociferous.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Oh scroll down a bit…

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          I’ve scrolled. I didn’t see anyone explicitly going on about beans in chili, just alternate recipes that just didn’t include beans. Plus some noise about how to spell “chili”.

          Wonkette: Where We Put the Fun in Pedantic!

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          Dafuq is WRONG with people? Chili is like salad. Just put the shit in there and eat it!

          • JustDon’tSayDittos

            YOU MONSTER!!111!!1 CHILI IS MY LORD AND SAVIOR!
            or something…
            Actually, spaghetti is more my thing.

            ETA: or ramen

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            spaghetti is more my thing.

            BUT DO YOU PUT BEANS IN IT?!

          • JustDon’tSayDittos

            …noooo…

            ETA: beans in ramen would be weird.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Well, good, then…?

          • Jukesgrrl

            No, but you put ’em in pasta e fagioli. Mmm, beans and noodles, tasty.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Yeah, I have a recipe for that I need to make.

          • notaten

            I’ve got a sister that criticizes the way I make a turkey sammich, to the point that I won’t even mention turkey in her presence anymore because, she is the only one, IN THE WORLD who knows how to make a damn sandwich out of thanksgiving leftovers. We don’t see each other much..

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Serious Summer said that. And they also weren’t happy about, well all of it basically. And then they posted a perfectly delicious looking traditional Texas recipe. I liked that, btw.

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          I saw those posts. But they weren’t in a stuffy voice. In my head it was more of a chili nerd voice.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I kind of appreciate chili nerds. And barbecue nerds. Most food nerds, in fact. It’s pleasant to hear from people who give such a huge damn about something that really doesn’t mean, and I can’t help myself, a hill of beans.

          • JustDon’tSayDittos

            Yup, we feel the same way. And living in the Bay Ara kind of amplifies that. My first trip to Berkeley Bowl was mind-blowing!

          • The DepravedDemmeFatale

            IK,R?
            that place is amazing!

          • SeriousSummer

            Maybe we can’t have health care, or jobs, or leave the planet to our children, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have good food.
            Especially chili. We need something to live for.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            No snark. Yes.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Yes, yes . .. go ahead, tell us how you *really* feel. Do, please!
      http://thepoliticalcarnival.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/do-go-on-2.jpg

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Let’s see: cocoa, check. coffee, check. beans, check. sugar, check. tomatoes, check. beef, check. beef broth, check. WTF is left? I think this bunch may have found fault with every ingredient in your recipe!

        Gawd, I love this site!

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I also too used the wrong peppers. Don’t forget about that! LMAO.

          • JustDon’tSayDittos

            It’s like religion, except you can eat your beliefs!

          • Historicat

            Pray with one hand, cook with the other – see which one fills your belly first.

      • zerosumgame0005

        REAL chili is meant and spices ONLY, then you scoop in in tortillas (soft warm ones) the way my grandmother made it! but Texas style has tomato and sometimes beans, just sayin’.

        • SeriousSummer

          Texas chili has no beans and no tomatoes. Anyone who says otherwise is probably an Oklahoman.

      • zerosumgame0005

        but seriously avoid canned crap, Hormel is the absolute WORST, Stagg can be OK if adulterated, but all of them subscribe to “sauce can hide a lot of sins!”

        • The DepravedDemmeFatale

          at mr. fatale’s bachelor party, someone thought it would be funny to put a can of Hormel chili in a glass and give it to him.
          after he tried it, he exclaimed,”who gave me the Bloody Mary?!”
          now, THAT’S drunk!

    • Maddogjohn

      I like chilli con carne with meat.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        So, you add meat to the meat?

        • Jonny On Maui

          You ask that like it’s wrong…

        • Maddogjohn

          No, stupid, you add the meat to the con carne. Jeez.

      • notaten

        You probably have a PIN number also too.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          *snerk*

      • notaten

        I like arroz con pollo, but with chicken

    • Doug Langley

      I concur. Anyone who puts beans in chili doesn’t know beans about chili.

  • Jonny On Maui
    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      So, OT, but how’s the new place shaping up?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Very nice! Thanks for asking. It’s been raining steady for the last week. My 15000 gallon catchment tank is overflowing…

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          15000 gallons? Holy crap! Is that a thing you need for your garden or something?

          It’s been raining all day in the Bay Area, and the situation is excellent. Won’t break the drought, but it’s a good start. The tomato plants have finally given up, but the kale and chard are ready for another growth spurt.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Every place has it’s own special brand of weirdness. I’m number 1043 on the water meter list. In other words, 1000 other folk will get hooked up to Maui Water before I could. So in about 5 years…

            On the plus side, no water bill… Just filter costs…

  • Resisting the Urge – Holly

    Wonkers? We love our recipes and golly don’t we all have the most interestingly charmingly fucked up ideas about what we eat and how we make what we eat? Check out Munchies.com and the Food Porn column – some really funny stuff right there.

  • data_ninja

    I just want to say that while I’m sure your chili tastes good and looks like it has a lot of good ingredients, I know that mine is so much better ;)

    • shaar dula

      from the sidelines shouts: “data, data, data”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXFBggMSgo8

      share your recipe. share your recipe.

      • data_ninja

        Typing it up now, will post soon!

        • shaar dula

          cool.

      • shaar dula

        OT. Just watched this whole scene. Hilarious it is. Cant believe we used to watch movies like this on grainy screens in the thatched roof movie hall in my gramma’s village sitting on matted floors during our summer vacations eating boiled peanuts for snacks.

        • The DepravedDemmeFatale

          where was this?
          sounds exotic.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Maddogjohn

    FOOD FIGHT!!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      Shit, I just think I cracked a window cackling so hard.

    • shaar dula

      Sorry for being such a prole. but it’s always bugged me. How does somebody like Joe Walsh pay his mortgage and grocery bills? who pays for that shit?

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        His ex-wife and kids, via the child support he doesn’t pay.

    • Yr. Gma

      Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Jamoche

      There’s really nothing that explains this other than Donnie going “fuck, I won. What do I do now?”

    • ltmcdies

      well Walsh has been calling Trump out since Trump started appointing all those Goldman Sach types.

      Walsh at the very least is a consistent nut.

    • mailman27

      You lie!! (not you, RFC. you rock!)

  • shaar dula

    sounds yummy and like one of those dishes that would taste even better the next day.
    Barring the meats, I have used the rest of the ingredients. But Coffee, 2 vinegars and a beer is an interesting take. So this needs to be more acidic than tomatoes?

    • The DepravedDemmeFatale

      coffee is great with cocoa.
      (it’s in a lot of baking recipes, too.)

      • shaar dula

        thanks. what type of flavour’s do these induce? something smokey?

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          As someone who makes and enjoys a lot of Indian food, look at the rest of the ingredients in the recipe. I don’t know about anyone else, but I sort of “see” ingredients in a 3D way as regards how they taste and smell. Yes, coffee and cocoa are sort of high and sharp and bitter. But look at the rest of the ingredients, like I said. A lot of them got to a rounder, broader place and balance it all out. You’re not going to get an overall smokey or bitter flavor just because of the cocoa/coffee, those things balance the other stuff like the coriander and cumin and garlic and allspice. All those things work together to make it a really big, rich flavor.

          If you cook like me, put it all out mis en place and then sniff everything and see what you think.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            You said it far better than I could have. Clear and concise. Thanks!

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            *curtsies*

            I enjoy food and mixing flavors. My current struggle is having to cook for OTHER people who don’t care and/or would rather eat things with no more than 3 ingredients.

        • The DepravedDemmeFatale

          i think apart from “waking up” the chocolate, it can cut down on the sweetness of things, (tomatoes?), and make the flavor of something more complex.

  • JustDon’tSayDittos

    BRB. gonna go pretend to work out.

    • zerosumgame0005

      BRB or BBQ? I recommend the BBQ myself!

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        *brrrp*
        No, walked the doggies, then a little light weightlifting.
        Grandma’s fried rice (Martin Yan recipe) coming up a little later.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • TJ Barke

      Fucking scum.

    • Yr. Gma

      Why am I not surprised?

    • ltmcdies

      thanks…just went in and retweeted this message.

    • data_ninja

      So if the supremacists get all of the black people get removed, will they hope that it becomes twhiter?

      I’ll show myself out.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • i am not sure i can deal with history as written by these assholes

      • Shoto

        “History is what I say it is.”

        — Kellyanne Goebbels Conway (at the behest of the Orange Lunatic Overlord)

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Dem congressman: Electoral College has ‘right’ to weigh Russian hacking:

    A Democratic congressman is suggesting that members of the Electoral College should be able to consider Russian interference in the presidential election — and whether it influenced the outcome — when deciding how to cast their vote.

    “To the extent that foreign interference in the United States presidential elections may have influenced the final result, I believe the electors have the right to consider that,” Rep. David Cicilline (D-R.I.) said in a statement to POLITICO on Saturday.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/424e10f2f071d63dff23ef1ed54a1c17aed92f978968413d91d852a15da245a0.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      Please god, we can’t let these fuckers loot our country…

  • data_ninja

    This is my chili recipe that you never asked for that I’ve giving to you FREE OF CHARGE (minus the shipping & handling). I *need* to preface this with I am not close to a professional chef, or an average cook. However, I can make a bitchin’ pot of chili, probably better than any of that regular stuff that you’ve been eating your whole life. So with that being said, measurements, cooking apparatus and heat and everything important might be off a bit. If the instructions seem overly simple or very stupid, it’s because I wrote them by myself, for myself. Still, I hope you can translate this well enough, because it will turn out amazing.

    Ingredients
    3 tablespoons vegetable oil
    1 large onion
    2 teaspoons chopped garlic
    1 pound sausage or chorizo
    1 pound ground beef
    2 teaspoons ground cumin
    2 teaspoons chili powder
    2 teaspoons salt
    2 teaspoons black pepper
    2 (15-ounce) cans kidney beans – Chili Beans in Chili sauce (mild)
    2 (15-ounce) cans diced tomatoes – No Salt Added
    1 15 ounce can of Tomato Sauce
    1 jalapeno pepper
    2 green bell peppers
    1 cup of chopped banana peppers

    Utensils
    Cuttin’ and choppin’ knives
    1 pot of decent size (with lid)
    1 skillet for meat cookin’
    1 metal spatula
    1 big ol’ stirrin’ and servin’ spoon
    1 food processor (for the lazy people like me)

    Directions
    1. Take the pot and put in chili beans, diced tomatoes, and tomato sauce. Mix well. Save one of the cans for grease drippings.
    2. Take all seasonings and mix into a small container (such as a measuring cup). Stir in the combined seasonings into the pot, cover, and set to the side.
    3. Dice the onion and chop up the garlic. If you have a cool grocery story like Krogers, they sell fresh cut diced onion ready to go. I’ve never used the pre-cut chopped garlic, so I recommend chopping up the garlic yourself. I usually end up using 2 or 3 cloves a pan. I also used enough diced onion to essentially cover the skillet evenly enough to cook meat in.
    4. Put oil in a skillet, and begin to heat it.
    5. Add the onions to the skillet. Add the garlic to the skillet when things look like they’ve gotten warmer.
    6. Once the onions begin to look transparent, add half a pound of sausage/chorizo.
    7. Once the sausage/choirzo begins to brown, add the ground beef. Cook and mix everything until all of the meat is browned.
    8. Drain the grease, and put the meat, onions and garlic into the pot..
    9. Repeat steps 4 through 8 if using a full pound of each meat (2 pounds total). Be careful when adding oil back into heated skillet. I put in this step because my skillet isn’t that big.
    10. Once all meat is added to the pot, stir it a lot to mix everything.
    11. While everything is sitting in the pot and getting to know each other, chop up all of the peppers and put them into the pot. I personally chop up the peppers into smaller pieces, and then throw them into a food processor to make them dice sized-ish.
    12. Put all of the chopped peppers into the pot and mix it all together again.
    13. Put the pot on the stove, cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Stir occasionally.

    I found it best to let the pot cool for a couple of hours after simmering, refrigerate overnight, and then reheat and serve the next day. So yeah, try and make this a day in advance or so. Serving in a crockpot is preferred for feeding the teeming masses, but you could always portion some out for yourself and microwave it.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Looks good, but the Purity Ponies will be howling!

      • shaar dula

        screw the purity ponies.

        • shaar dula

          infact I’m going to try this entirely with beans no meat.

          • SeriousSummer

            No problem. With bourbon, coffee, chocolate, maple syrup, tomato, etc. You’ll probably end up with a bonbon and never miss the meat. In fact, I see no need for the beans as well.

          • shaar dula

            but then what gives them texture and proteins?

          • shaar dula

            I have hoping this would be a one pot dish that would also do proteins for the meal.

          • data_ninja

            One of the best chilis I had was a vegetarian one. However, it was made by my grandmother and she took that recipe (as far as I know) with her.

          • shaar dula

            hmmpf. you know any “island people” who could help?

        • Jennifer R

          I am pretty sure that pony would work well in most chili.

          • shivaskeeper

            To stringy.

      • data_ninja

        The purity ponies can hoof it back home; I’ve no time to listen to the neighsayers.

        • mailman27

          As long as you can address the mane problem.

    • shaar dula

      aha! so you agree something like this needs to sit for a night.
      nice. I’ve to figure meat subs. but between Pinkham and you I have enough to try this.
      as an aside. a significant use of cumin is to act as a digestive and reduce bloat from gassy ingredients like potatoes and cauliflower.
      infact cumin tea is the go-to home remedy to deal with bloated-ness.

      • data_ninja

        True story: When I first did this recipe (the above iteration is like #7 or so) I didn’t know what sausage to use, because not professional cook, and I ended up using breakfast sausage! And it was still a hit though, and tasted great. Since then though, I have totally switched to chorizo and decided that it is the best way to do it, hands down.

        ETA: Cooking the beef with the chorizo helps with flavor distribution, or so I assume that’s what the science says.

        • shaar dula

          I can imagine how the type and nature of meat makes a difference.

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          Oh yeah – breakfast sausage even works on pizza.

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        I’ve been eating a lot of beans and lentils lately and found that they actually SOOTHE my digestive tract. Counter-intuitively, they make me LESS bloaty and gassy. Not that things were bad before in that regard, but…holy heck.

        • shaar dula

          ya ya. there is an entire army of grammas and a legion of empiricists who would vouch for that. atleast once a week we need to have tovve – pure lentils seasoned with turmeric, ginger, cumin and mustard seeds in clarified butter. a bit of lemon for that something extra. best with rice.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I would leave out the butter (clarified or otherwise) because lactose intolerance issues, but all the rest of that stuff has been doing me a WORLD of good. Without going into TMI.

        • shaar dula

          boiled water and cumin seeds. strained. drunk black. works for me. great fix me up. even works as a great pick me up – better than tea. but you need boiling water. and let the seeds sit in it for atleast 3 mins.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I have those things. What proportions?

        • Yr. Gma

          Lentils are just about the perfect food.

  • Shan – Mildly Depraved

    TOO MANY RECIPES!

    Only reason I’m not making Pink’s tonight is because we’ve already had too much this week. But I’m saving it, that’s for damn sure. And all you chili purists can BITE ME!

    Grmph.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Are you offering to become a chili ingredient?

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

        I have been known to add cinnamon to chili, not sure about ginger though. I will show myself out…

    • data_ninja

      I’m not a chili purist, just a chili connesuier connesuer kanye suer — someone who likes to try different kinds and styles of chili. By sampling all of theirs, I may have the secret motive of trying to make my own chili recipe, WHICH IS ALREADY PERFECT, even better.

      • shaar dula

        OT: i strongly believe its kanye sewer. anything kanye has to be succeeded with sewer don’t you think?

        • data_ninja

          Dammit, that’s a good one!

  • nightmoth

    Sounds great! You did, however, leave out venison as the meat choice, which is the only meat I use in chili. Or in much of anything else.

    • Regret

      I love venison! And the flavor is strong enough to hold it’s own in this flavorful chili.
      Horse could be good in chili as well, though that completely changes the flavour balance.

      • nightmoth

        You’ve spent time in France, right?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • boyblue123

      FBI undermined the election process. Not sure what the big deal is

    • Shoto

      “Oh, for fuck’s sake”

      Exactly.

    • Me The People

      Doesn’t look like they’ve learned anything.

    • mailman27

      Both sides manifestly Do. Not. Do. It.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Could this be considered an intervention? Something that real friends do?

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Was D-Day an intervention?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    To get back on topic for a moment…would this work without the meat? Or would the flavor be distorted if I used ground soy and beans instead?

    • I have routinely used the ground (whatever) packaged meat substitutes in chili recipes with great success. You’d be missing the larger chunks of the sirloin, but perhaps some cubed seitan? Or possibly cubed Celebration Roast?

      YES, I KNOW WE ARE HORRIBLE CRETINS! HUSH, YOU!

      At least I’m not advocating canned clams.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        How spendy is that? In the pics it looks good. What kind of texture?

        • It isn’t very spendy at all. It is very nice. A meat substitute that isn’t trying to be an actual meat substitute. It is akin to a very firm veggie meatloaf.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            “It is akin to a very firm veggie meatloaf.”

            Ah, yes. I see. *cough* And how does it compare to real food? *ducks* In all seriousness, I may try this. While decidedly a fan of meats, I am also too a fan of well prepared veggies, and always looking for new things to try.

          • I do actually buy the product, occasionally. It pleases the vegans and goes well with gravy if you don’t care about that kind of thing. It’s hearty, it’s satisfying and (apparently) the staff in the SanFran facility pray over every last morsel that leaves the premises. I never knew that Buddhists had their own version of Kosher, but there you go.

      • Yr. Gma

        Take my word for it, setain does not work in chili. I know.

    • Sister the Resister!

      you know, what meat lends (besides bulk) is flavor: salt, depth, an intensity. Is ground soy just ground soy beans? I think that would be bland, and you want to look for more flavorful beans instead, or maybe one of the tofu products where it’s chewier and marinated in something (steamed tofu? not sure what it’s called)

    • Pinkham’s Law

      While not the same as beef, mushrooms would bring a lot of flavor that might help.

      • shaar dula

        any specific type?

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Portabellas seem to pack the meatiest flavor, IMnHO.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Oooh, that sounds good! Thanks Pink!

  • TheGrandWaz00

    I eat steak cooked all the way through.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    There are beans in that offal you call “chili”.
    The CANNED CLAMS were bad enough, but this???
    That’s it, I’m going back to Paula Dean.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      *waves cheerily* Toodles!

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      FFS, don’t start that again.

    • A buddy of mine worked at Deen’s restaurant. He despised Deen and her creepy sons like poison and would tell everybody they all had hepatitis and coughed on the buffet.

    • shaar dula

      ah! grammarians!! again with the railings about deviations from the norm.
      relax a norm. let a collar loose. freak out. try a bean in a chili, I say. :)

  • It’s good to see someone else use coffee in their chili.

    That’s been my secret ingredient for years.

    Another weird secret chili ingredient: that can be surprisingly yummy – 1/2 teaspoon of creamy peanut butter. Id adds a mysterious touch of sweet and savory.

    Be sure to alert potential allergy people!

    • data_ninja

      I have a friend that puts peanut butter in their chili. It was really interesting! They also put in a some small diced potatoes. Less interesting, but it all worked out well.

    • shaar dula

      time out. time out. people. no more new ingredients. peanut better is just way too much. lets keep breakfast and dinner and lunch separate. please. pretty please. i need to earn my chops at home. and cant be seen to be doing the same thing all 3 meals a day.

      • Try chopped weenies, Clamato, and Fruity Pebbles in your chili for a real treat!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        I really need to make/post my Beef Stew in a Pumpkin, just to blow your mind into a zillion pieces.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I was watching “Gilmore Girls” and I started reading “Swann’s Way” because I was wondering if it really is as ambitious a book as they claim and now I am confused because I am several pages in and it seems like a book I would have read as a child.

  • (((😸)))

    I clicked on this ready to snarky all over the chili recipe, but it sounds delicious.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      10Q.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Kooolest G

      on the other hand people have been saying that our foreign policy is on behalf of oil companies (see iran 1953, iraq both times, the pipeline the taliban wouldn’t build in 2000, slobbering on the saudi knob for 60 years etc.) trump is just cutting out the middle man cause he’s so good at bizness

    • Me The People

      Maybe this is Trump’s idea of how to deflect from the CIA verdict on Russian interference in the election :D

    • shaar dula

      exx-actimento

  • Me The People

    Post Trump journalism style guide example no1:

    “Donald Trump and his supporters say arithmetic is a ‘rigged’ system
    created by intellectual elites far removed from the concerns of everyday
    life. Meanwhile it has been reported by some sources that many
    conventional mathematicians at the time of writing nevertheless remain
    committed to the decreasingly popular idea that 2+2=4, a view increasing
    numbers of Trump supporters dismiss as ‘bad science’.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Ben & Jerry’s should really do this!

    https://twitter.com/NoGOPNo/status/807750202463494144

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      In 2012, I came up with “Chocobama” and “Mittnilla” flavors — chocolate fudge ice cream with choco chunks and vanilla with swirls of marshmallow, respectively — and I thought it would be cool if the sales of each would determine who would win the presidency, but sadly, I never wrote Ben and Jerry with my ideas. :(

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Whoa, this came from Teen Vogue?

    Trump won the Presidency by gas light. His rise to power has awakened a force of bigotry by condoning and encouraging hatred, but also by normalizing deception. Civil rights are now on trial, though before we can fight to reassert the march toward equality, we must regain control of the truth. If that seems melodramatic, I would encourage you to dump a bucket of ice over your head while listening to “Duel of the Fates.” Donald Trump is our President now; it’s time to wake up…

    To gas light is to psychologically manipulate a person to the point where they question their own sanity, and that’s precisely what Trump is doing to this country. He gained traction in the election by swearing off the lies of politicians, while constantly contradicting himself, often without bothering to conceal the conflicts within his own sound bites. He lied to us over and over again, then took all accusations of his falsehoods and spun them into evidence of bias.

    At the hands of Trump, facts have become interchangeable with opinions, blinding us into arguing amongst ourselves, as our very reality is called into question.

    Save us, young fashionistas!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      What does Tim Gunn think?

    • Juan de Payaso

      Agreed and for some strange reason an older Avenged Sevenfold song keeps popping into my head when I think of the typical Trump voter:

      ♬You should have known
      The price of evil
      And it hurts to know
      That you belong here, yeah

      Ooh, it’s your fuckin’ nightmare

      Can’t wake up in a sweat
      ‘Cause it ain’t over yet
      Still dancing with your demons
      Victim of your own creation

      Beyond the will to fight
      Where all that’s wrong is right
      Where hate don’t need a reason
      Loathing self-assassination♬

      https://youtu.be/94bGzWyHbu0

    • Yr. Gma

      I have faith in the kids.

      • Gosala

        I don’t. They didn’t bother to show up at the polls.

        They own this as much as the people who actually voted for the tiny fingered one

        • Yr. Gma

          I mean kids–you know, minors. The generation now in school.

          • Gosala

            We have put our hope in the children since before I was a child.

            And now I am an old.

            It seems to me a faint hope.

    • I read Tiger Beat for the political commentary.

      And the shirtless photos of Corey Haim.

    • Gosala

      Sorry to disagree. Trump never got anyone to question their sanity.

      He gave permission to express racist, sexist, ableist, nativist ideas that had lain dormant and suppressed

      • Nasty Candy Apple

        Well, I daily say, “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills,” so that’s not too far off.

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        It wasn’t dormant and suppressed. They just had a little more shame about being seen as assholes than they do now. Now, they don’t care.

        Maybe we’re saying the same thing.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Needs moar beats…

    https://youtu.be/aNZpkimAZSI

  • Me The People

    For chilli I add a jar of “Homepride” chilli sauce to the browned minced beef and kidney beans, a pepper(capsicum) and an onion, maybe some extra chilli powder and cumin. Serve with rice or pasta. It’s possibly not the best ever but it is really tasty and ready in an hour.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Sometimes, “tasty and ready in an hour” are the most important parts.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Safer, maybe. Not all that different policy-wise, sadly…

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/807756283118059525

    • Jonny On Maui

      Safer as in a fission bomb instead of a fusion one…

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

        Pence is nuetron bomb. Lay waste to humanity, but leave all the real estate and resources available.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Good point!

        • TJ Barke

          There’s a certain song that would seem appropriate here…

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          That reminds me.

          Okay “napalm bomb” instead of neutron but whatever….

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfzMLRzH2yw

    • Yr. Gma

      Pence is already determining policy. Does anyone think Trump is doing all this work? No. He has no core. He has no principles. He’s doing what narcissists do, making someone else do the work and taking the credit. If Trump could be captured by a progressive cabal and flattered to death, he’d flip his “principles” on the spot. Pence is already the president-elect.

      • Nasty Candy Apple

        I believe you’re right.

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        Yup. And let’s not forget what Pence is about.

        http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/10/mike-pence-isnt-boring-hes-one-americas-most-extreme-governors

        In March, Pence signed a bill into law requiring burial or cremation for aborted fetuses.

        Last month, Pence said he’d like to “send Roe v. Wade to the ash heap of history.”

        Pence signed a 2015 bill permitting Indiana business owners to cite religious beliefs as a reason to refuse service to gay and lesbian customers.

        As Indiana’s governor, Pence slashed Planned Parenthood funding, arguably contributing to one county’s HIV outbreak.

        During his 12 years as a congressman, Pence voted against nearly every piece of environmental legislation.

        Pence voted to bar the Environmental Protection Agency from regulating greenhouse gases.

        Pence voted for opening the Atlantic up to offshore oil drilling.

        As a congressman, Pence gave a floor speech advocating the teaching of creationism in public schools.

        Pence wrote an op-ed arguing that “smoking doesn’t kill.”

        Pence has advocated the use of public funds for conversion therapy, a discredited and potentially harmful form of anti-gay therapy.

        Gov. Pence funneled $3.5 million in Indiana’s Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) funds, intended for needy families with children, to crisis pregnancy centers, which counsel women against having abortions.

        Gov. Pence refused to comply with Obama administration rules aimed at reducing prison rape.

        As congressman, Pence voted in favor of a bill that would have allowed for the detention of undocumented immigrants seeking hospital treatment.

        Pence co-sponsored a bill in Congress that would have eliminated automatic citizenship for children born on US soil to undocumented parents.

        Pence was one of 31 governors to oppose the resettlement of Syrian refugees in his state, declaring that state agencies wouldn’t cover the cost of some social services for Syrian refugees. His behavior earned him a strong rebuke from a panel of three federal judges, including one whom Donald Trump put on his Supreme Court nominee short list.

  • sw19womble

    Meanwhile, the Seattle Sounders are currently playing the Toronto “FC” in the MLS World Series Superball of Soccer Final.
    Not sure whether I’m supporting Canada or the Pacific Northwest here.
    I do know hardcore Vancouver Whitecaps fans are having a Jill Stein moment right now tho…

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      Go ahead and back Toronto, as the Canadia sports cup will once again leave Canadia out. Unless Carey Price stays healthy, but from my innermost core, Muck Fontreal.

      • sw19womble

        Good point – but I’m still in Fuck Gary Bettman mode and probably will be until 2021/next lock out by the owners.
        BTW It’s been a great start by both teams. Lots of end to end stuff and some good rough and tumble.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

          I don’t follow football all that much, but I will try and watch the gunners when I can. I much prefer rugby union, but will watch top level football over NFL given a choice. Considering the Bruins will be mediocre yet again, i havent been that great of a hockey fan this year either. And, as always, the best part of the cup ceremony is watching Bergman get booed, because FUCK.THAT.CLOWN.

  • Me The People

    Late here – time for my bubbly milk. Take care wonkets:)

    https://youtu.be/Bsioe-bTggY

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Me The People.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Well, that’s not chilling. Dear sweet Kellyanne *spits* who, despite who she works for is a PROFESSIONAL and damn well knows better, says people who criticize Don the Con shouldn’t expect to do so “with no consequences, with no blowback.”

    • sw19womble

      Sewer Rat Barbie snarls what?

    • Jamoche

      She’s going to be shocked at how many people respond to that with “Bring it on”.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      People feel like with Donald Trump, they have license to say whatever the heck they want about this guy, with no consequences, with no blowback. The guy has a right to defend himself. And he rarely draws first blood. It’s when he is attacked, he likes to set the record straight.

      Um…given the propensity of some TrumpPenceZees to resort to violence, using a figure of speech that involves blood is pretty fucking vulgar FFS.

      • mailman27

        Donald Trump, Idiot Action Hero!! Use facts to contradict his mendacity if you dare!!! “First blood,” indeed. Get a grip, Kellyanne.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Tell me something simultaneously funny and sad, David Corn:

    https://twitter.com/DavidCornDC/status/807673609053474820

  • Gosala

    OT, but I don’t care.

    Republicans and climate change

    tamino.wordpress.com/2016/

    (Anyone interested in the proper use of data and statistics in understanding climate change, or anything else, should follow Tamino at Open Mind)

  • Henry Ridgeway

    Beans? One teaspoon cayenne? Not even pinto beans? I’m a big Wonkette fan, but if your news is as fake as this horse shit you call chili,…..Go to San Antonio. Have some real chili. Until that, enough with the ridiculous recipes. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Real food is out there. This recipe is absurd.

    • Nounverb911

      Henry, thanks for paying everyones airfare to San Antonio. That’s awfully generous of you.

    • sw19womble

      Remember the Salt-amo!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      If you’re not a hard core chili eater, one teaspoon of cayenne will fuck you up.|

      Btw, I really don’t mind beans in chili. I was just putting an irresistible set-up comment out there.

    • sw19womble

      Is now a good time to mention Wonkette’s famous Peas in Guacamole recipe?

      • Nasty Candy Apple

        Please, I just ate.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Peas, peas me.

        Oh yeah, like I eat you.

      • Nounverb911

        I blame jack Steuf for that episode too, also.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        There is never a good time to mention Peas in Guacamole. Because that is sacrilege.

    • Feel better, now? Gotten all of that off of our chests, have we?

    • WomanInTheResistance

      I posted this many times earlier. Of course, recycling is Libtard bullshit. New friend.

      https://youtu.be/AJqtWqVFods

    • Pinkham’s Law

      So, call it bean soup, if it doesn’t meet your Purity Pony standards as chili, but I assure you, it is NOT absurd. It is, in fact, very, very good. Even for RWNJs. And you don’t get to tell me what qualifies as chili. If you guys get your own facts, so do we.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Pinky, this is not a RWNJ. Honest. It’s posting history is OK by me, at any rate.

        • sw19womble

          Still a little bit Purity Pony tho…

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Maybe that’s true. But not a troll, at least to me.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I get a lot of recipe links on FB and the people who post “OMFG YOU ARE ALL GONNA DIE FROM THIS UNHEALTHY SHIT” or “YOU FUCKERS ARE SO LAZY FOR EVEN LOOKING AT THIS RECIPE YOU SHOULD JUST KILL YOURSELVES” is about the same.

            People need a better hobby.

          • sw19womble

            …. and that, dear nieces and nephews, is why I do not do F*c*book.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I glanced and saw a lot at Blightfart, but will take your word for it, and apologize for the aspersion. Leaving the non-comment, though, because I think it’s amusingly snarky. YMMV.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I did too. But it was mostly picking fights there. Not my thing, but I can respect that.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I can approve of that. I’m not brave enough to do Blightfart, but do play at WND sometimes.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      Hank me lad, the idea is not to melt the taste buds but to open them up. It’s why cayenne is sometimes added to cocoa. But you do you,, and exalt in all your hemanliness. I personally like a bit more heat, but if it overwhelms the flavor you’re just bragging about Dick size.

    • Nounverb911

      Henry, welcome to Wonkette, we can get a little crusty at times….

      • Jonny On Maui

        True. But it’s a light, flaky crust!

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          Chili with a light, flaky crust.

          I’m ON it!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Chili Pie with a lattice top…

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Wait, does that involve baking?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Both types!

  • Nounverb911

    So Dissing Donnie dissed the quality of the football at the Army/Navy game, that’s not a good way to get the militaries respect.

    https://twitter.com/maggieNYT/status/807751792150790144

    https://twitter.com/NYDNSports/status/807721841255129088

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      “I’ve got to say something to distract from the Russian hacking news!”

      – Donald

    • mailman27

      It’s such a relief to have a president who knows everything about every subject. We can all just relax now.

    • John Smith

      Says the man who bankrupted the USFL.

  • SeriousSummer

    An Honorable Way to Eat Beans with Chili

    This year has been difficult for us all. I don’t want to make it even harder on you miserable souls who insist on eating beans in your chili. So I will offer you an honorable way out.

    First, make a pot of Proper Chili. Then heat up the pot of pintos you have in the refrigerator,

    • Jonny On Maui

      Serious, have you met Henry? Henry, meet Serious…

    • Nounverb911
    • shaar dula

      alright you Antoinette. you and your fancy chili and “let them eat beans” attitude. the lard itself willing, we shall eat the beans and burn down your palaces occupied by you chili snobs..

    • Juan de Payaso

      To each their own but the only way I personally eat chili is buying a ticket to Hawaii, renting a car and driving to the nearest “Zippy’s” restaurant and ordering a plate with two scoops of rice and one scoop of potato salad with a Redondo hot dog on top.

      #ZippysOrGTFO

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4217203bc7f79c14435eeed22d1c919e8dddd907608368ef14de830f8debe0ee.jpg

      • Jonny On Maui

        You in the know brah!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Ever been to a Zippy’s at 2 or 3 in the morning?

        It’s an experience!

        • Juan de Payaso

          As a matter of fact I have! Me and the boys from my unit at Fort Shafter (Oahu) were out late one night in town (Waikiki) and stopped by a Zippy’s for a late dinner/early morning breakfast back in the 90’s. Good times :)

          Everytime we go back to Hawaii to visit family, our first stop from the airport is Zippy’s before going to mom’s house. Their chili is the bomb.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Had my first Loco Moco at Zippy’s. I’m hooked now…

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        Oh, god help us all…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Remember, there are other governments in this world and the GOP can’t stonewall them all…

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/807764143449247745

    • Nounverb911

      Kurt, just make sure the newspapers get it right this time and don’t stop pestering people.

    • Apple Scruff

      And they thought Hillary’s emails were too much baggage for the presidency…

  • Jonny On Maui
    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      Allegedly, a new midnight oil album is nigh.

      • Jonny On Maui

        That’s good to know!

        Yes. I get all my news here…

      • Dazza

        Once the lead singer Peter Garret left his gig as politician – (Labor MP in 2004-09 for Kingsford Smith) and Minister of the Environment in the 2007-09 Labor government – Midnight Oil re-formed and is planning on touring again in 2017. TMI?

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

          Not at all. I would love to see them. I burned out both of my Midnight Oil cassettes in the 90’s

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      Heck, I remember them but not that song. Who can forget that 80s drumsmack, though?

  • SeriousSummer

    Or the one your cook has (yes, she’s Mexican, otherwise do you think she’d work for what you pay?) or open a damn can of pintos and warm it up. Then you can add it to your bowl as a condiment because what you do with your own bowl is only your business. As long as you

    • Pinkham’s Law

      The drinking lamp is lit, I take it?

      • SeriousSummer

        Long ago

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Very good! Carry on, then.

    • shaar dula

      hahaha. I exactly know how you mean. sometimes all this is way too much. but then then there’s also the personal curse of a craving tongue – no escape from that is there?

  • SeriousSummer

    Put them in your own bowl and don’t contaminate anyone else’s. And only add pintos.

  • SeriousSummer

    Henry gives me a faint hope for America.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Henry?

      • Nounverb911

        The guy downstream that forgot the Alamo.

        • sw19womble

          You never forget your first Alamo.

          • data_ninja

            Is that one free with a coupon?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Scroll down to see what Serious is talking about.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I just did. And checked out the Disqus history. Not a troll, like I first suspected. Probably just new, and enthusiastic, and not so good on signaling sarcasm. But heart’s in the right place.

          • sw19womble

            Good to know!

  • Jamoche

    https://www.facebook.com/pattonoswalt/posts/10154429430147655
    (Sorry, it’s facebook)
    Patton Oswalt:

    Trump doesn’t spread evil. He doesn’t even spread chaos. Evil and chaos are beyond his abilities.

    He spreads MEDIOCRITY. And anyone who gets near him gets dragged into the same sloppy, tossed-off, first-draft shitscape he lives in.

    Except this time, it’s the entire country who got too close to him. We’re about to become, as a nation, as garish and pathetic as one of his hotel suites. Balsa wood under gold spray paint. A chandelier over a toilet. Knock-off Haviland and Parlon china on which to serve a Big Mac. And the people MAKING the Big Macs getting screwed, stripped and exploited while the predators high-five on their private jets.

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      I love Patton Oswalt but fuck if he doesn’t make me feel suicidal sometimes.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        There’s still beauty in the world, Shan.

        We just have to suffer through this godawful ersatz President for a while, apparently.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          I know there is. I’m just in the process of dredging myself up out of a deep depression I didn’t even know I was in until I stopped randomly crying at night and realized that my children would be even more fucked without me than they are WITH me.

          It’s getting better, really.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Glad to hear it’s getting better.

            Personally, I’m just trying to deal by ignoring. Not the most intellectually robust way of dealing, but I do what I can.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Ignoring works sometimes. But only up to a point.

            Sez me, who is currently dealing with both the personal and professional consequences of it.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Just because. (((Hugs)))

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            DAMMIT STOP BEING NICE OR I’LL CRY

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I don’t ever want to make you cry. Because you are one strong person who I like very much. And who is willing to face your demons. I salute that.

            https://youtu.be/4YrfLnlrquo

    • beingreleased

      Honestly, mediocrity we could survive. We actually did get through 8 years of Bush, who was clearly sub-mediocre. I honestly don’t know what 4-8 years of Trump (and people like McTurtle backing him up) will be like.

      • Nasty Candy Apple

        We survived, but hundreds of thousands of Iraqis didn’t. :(

        • shaar dula

          > 2000s of our own didn’t.

      • Jamoche

        If it was just Trump himself, yeah, but he’s like a mediocrity virus.

      • shaar dula

        #1. New Orleans (Katrina) I still don’t understand how that could happen?
        #2. All the contract mercenary fighting stuff (blackwater for e.g) that’s just outlandish.

    • Serai 1

      I don’t know. That cabinet looks pretty fucking evil to me.

    • bookish

      Sorry, can’t agree with Oswalt there.

  • sw19womble

    Half Time Score in the East/West MLS Soccerball Finals Final: Canada 0 – Cascadia 0.
    Nice tough game. End to end. None of that pissing about tippy tappy bollocks.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Jonny On Maui

      So Trump stole the GOP base and now Putin has ’em by the short curlies.

      I’m sure they’re very comfortable…

    • shaar dula

      dhuh?!!

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      I don’t know if it’s despair talking, or what, but let’s just burn this whole fucking thing to the ground and try to make something out of the ashes.

      • Gosala

        Burn the whole thing down, I get the sentiment but let’s think this through a little.

        The oligarchy will be little affected.

        The battle lines between racists and antiracists, misogynist and antimysogynist, between ableist and antiableist, betweeen homophobe and antihomophobe, will be unchanged

        But the power will be tilted distinctly in favor of the oligarchs, and the oligarchs will be happy to oppress people of color, women, people with disabilities, GLBTQ people and anyone from whom they can extract wealth.

        So, burning it all down will result in more suffering by marginalized people and the marginalization of more people.

        • Nasty Candy Apple

          I just keep thinking of that scene from Pearl S. Buck’s The Good Earth, when the poor Chinese people overtake the rich man’s palace in the midst of the riot. Maybe that needs to happen here.

          • Jonny On Maui

            It’s all in target identification…

          • mailman27

            That is exactly the thing.

          • Serai 1

            You mean like the fucking French Revolution? Where rivers of blood ran in the streets and anyone with better than lower-class clothes on got slaughtered to the laughter of the crowds? I don’t think so.

      • Serai 1

        No. Sorry, but no.

    • Nounverb911

      Did Putin hack donnies bank accounts in Switzerland to find out how much he has?

      • sw19womble

        “little”

        • nastymagyar

          Money and penis

      • shaar dula

        The real secret is DJT could not afford the minimum balance requirements of Swiss banks for a checking account forget savings. Not even those banks that ordinary Swiss use to pay bills.

        He finally opened an account in the Zurich branch of the Lower Manhattan Cooperative (Mis)Trust to avoid ATM fees.

    • Nounverb911
      • FukuiSanYesOta

        “As they say in the Shire. DJT”

      • Nasty Candy Apple

        But did he look into his eyes and see his soul?

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          No, he saw his IOUs.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Sheeeittt….

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Everybody go home. Callyson’s won the internets!

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Aw, thanks honey!

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    1) No spice blooming? Fail.

    2) OT: don’t intersect Our Wonkete with real life. Me telling a Senior Product Manager that he was “a rapist of other peoples’ donkeys” during a meeting didn’t work out that well.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      ooooooohhhhhhh. Yeah, I can see how that might not work. Do you outrank him/her, or are you updating your resume?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Seriously though, bloom the damn spices. Just thirty seconds in a little pan.

        I do outrank and they know me, but was approached by my boss afterwards. “I know you. They all know you. Don’t do that in meetings when juniors are present.”

        Message received and understood.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Sounds like you had a day. A not particularly good one.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Oh, this was yesterday. My brother’s 40th birthday. I had flights to Berlin ($11K) and everything set up, but got told not to go. On threat of losing my job.

            I love my boss (the CEO) and she’s amazing, but that burned. So I was in a kinda bad mood.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Fuck, that sucks!
            I was told the same thing when I tried to get time off for my 20th HS reunion.
            That STILL pisses me off when I think about it.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Well I can’t blame you.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            You make MUCHLY more $$ than I do. My boss tells me to throw away 11k, I’m getting another job.

          • Courser

            Fuck that sucks. A few years back (before the recession) I had a job that didn’t pay particularly great, but I had a month of vacation a year. Taking it, however, was an entirely different kettle of fish. I’m not sure what’s worse, working contract where you get no paid time off, not even holidays or getting plenty of vacation that you can’t actually take. I guess you can take your vacation when you have a breakdown and have to be institutionalized.

          • Dazza

            Just to encourage Wonkers to emigrate to OZ: we get four weeks paid holiday a year (everyone, even min wage), 13 weeks paid long service leave after seven years with the same employer, 10 days paid sick or carer’s leave, 18 weeks paid maternity leave, 12 months unpaid parental leave, and $17.70 per hour min wage an 25% (casual) leave loading -and so on.

            C’mon down Ota. I’m sure you would have the points for Immigration. You can watch the Poms kick Aussie ass at the next Ashes in warm, sunny weather..

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Damn. How many days does that leave to actually, you know, work?

          • Dazza

            Enough. For all that Australian productivity is quite high.

          • nastymagyar

            But you have snakes that kill instantly

          • Dazza

            No, not instantly. You’re thinking of the spiders.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f318672778d1617a577d17884d8f3293d3fa70dfa8aabbcdea3bb5164c178008.jpg
            NOT SPIDERS!!! (jumps up on chair, pulls chair up after self, looks nervously around)

          • Dazza

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/296435e459529d1e942994a262f70c28c960b07bd5f36ffeb0df3958541d659f.jpg Ladies and gentlemen, the Sydney Funnel Web spider.

            “Funnel-web spider venom contains a compound known as atracotoxin, an ion channel inhibitor, which makes the venom highly toxic for humans and other primates. However, it does not affect the nervous system of other mammals.[10] These spiders typically deliver a full envenomation when they bite, often striking repeatedly, due to their defensiveness and large chitinous cheliceral fangs”

            Thanks Wikipedia:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sydney_funnel-web_spider

          • nastymagyar

            The Crocodile Hunter (RIP) lied then. He said Tiger Snakes could kill in two steps. Your whole continent (other than the abnormal number of hot men) still terrifies me.

          • Dazza

            Nah. Not Tiger Snakes. Taipans (both species) are worth avoiding if possible – but they are quite large and not often found in populated areas. Sydney Funnel Webs live in our most populous city, are very aggro and small, and their venom is outrageously fast-acting. I live in the west where more people die from bush fires and rips than from wildlife.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Dazza

            We have a decent sized trap-door spider (as big as my hand outspread) living behind the outdoor fridge on the verandah. She gets to stay because she is quite shy and retiring – and eats Redback spiders, which are the ones that are REALLY dangerous.

          • MynameisBlarney

            We have Brown Recluses here in the Keys. And they are fucking crazy fast.
            We also have Coral Snakes, Gray Scorpions and Giant Centipedes. Oh, and mosquitoes with Zika and Dengue Fever.
            So maybe I might be able to adapt there, lol.

          • Dazza

            We have Brown Recluses, too (Fiddle-backs here) and Dengue Fever – so yeah, you’d do fine.

        • MynameisBlarney

          ‘Splain to me please what is blooming spices, yes?

          • sw19womble

            It’s what Mary Poppins uses in her curry.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            sautee them for a couple of minutes. Greatly increases the potency.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I knew you knew. I love your food posts.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Thank you. Sincerely. I’ve seen your non-comments, and know you know your shit.

          • sw19womble
          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Oh come on. We love Pinkham’s. Especially after sticking around and giving us awesome food posts despite being a refugee from BCO. Pinkham moved on from here to fuck knows where, but we kept Pinkham’s. A massive net gain for everyone here.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ah…yeah. I do that. Just never heard it called that.

          • bookish

            Good hint, thanks.

          • Jamoche

            A sign you need to take Christopher Walken’s advice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ7z57qrZU8

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yeah, he should rape his own damn donkeys!

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Now I think of it, it was “borrowed donkeys”

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Yeah, best leave the donkeys alone.

    • shaar dula

      “Me telling a Senior Product Manager that he was “a rapist of other peoples’ donkeys” during a meeting didn’t work out that well.”

      hahaha. you think? rofl!! you brits need to pipe down a little I guess?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Eh, one must do what is the correct thing to do, collegiality be damned.

        • shaar dula

          i know better than you idiots do. that’s always worked out well.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            It’s caused issues.

            Oh well.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      I caught myself throwing an “also too” in a technical memorandum last week. I are a idiot, but at least I didn’t sen it to the client.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        HAHAHAHA

        That is awesome

        I’ve gotta try that shit in a client meeting and see if anyone picks it up.

      • mailman27

        Hey, you’re in distinguished company; i.e., our vice presidential candidate from 2008!

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          That’s kinda the joke. Snowbilly aka Caribou Barbie did exactly that.

          Some of us have been here for a while.

          • mailman27

            Damn, I’m such a dope. Can only bow and scrape.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

          You betcha

    • Dazza

      Oops.

  • Blacktop Autumn

    OT: One of these days I should throw up a selfie for you all. What’s left of my beard is fucking hilarious after not intentionally shaving for a few days.

    • shaar dula

      take peace. please. go easy. whats left off many men like me as a beard is a joke in and by itself. I look like a goat on a mountain when I don’t shave coz of getting all worked at work. 4 hairs here, 2 1/2 there. its a joke. if you ask me.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Blacktop Autumn

      Meh, here we go.

      Yeah, so not presenting femme, lazy eye (being addressed, honestly) on display, and hair not looking as long as it is. Kinda me after a day off and doing nothing, to be honest. SELF CONSCIOUS!

      Point being, I haven’t shaved since Wednesday. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c7fa87eac13af60e5eddf6494f1a73933420a34f738a16a531650932d7cc490b.jpg

      • Blacktop Autumn

        No idea why it’s upside down.

        It’s not in my image previews. >.>

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        In that pic, you look like someone I used to date. A bit younger, though.

        • Blacktop Autumn

          How old do you think I am?

          I ask this question of the kids I sub with often. Haha.

          I just, well, am showing off how little of my beard remains.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            You’re maybe 30?

          • Blacktop Autumn

            34, but close. :-D I’ve heard as low as 22 without the beard. ;-)

          • That was me until I hit 40. Like, I apparently aged ten years over night. Previous to this, people were trying to hook me up with other coworkers and then treating me like the Crypt Keeper when they found out I was actually 35. The day after 40, everyone started guessing my age correctly. That stung.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I used to get carded all the time for smokes and beer.
            That stopped not long after I hit 40 too.
            All that *ahem* “clean livin’ ” finally caught up with me.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Hey, I tell the second graders that I’m 147, when they ask. They look at me solemnly. I hope they tell their parents…

      • Pinkham’s Law

        I fail to see the problem. You look younger than you are? Is that it? How the living FUCK is that a problem?

        • Blacktop Autumn

          I just want all the fuzz gone too? :-D

          And the fat. Hehe. That’ll take more time.

          Edit: I should also make my bed.

      • How do you manage to float upside down like that? ARE YOU IN SPACE?

      • bookish

        You have very pretty eyes.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Finally 4:20. Happy Bong Time!

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Cheers! *lifts glass. realizes glass needs refilling*

      • Jonny On Maui

        Salute!

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      4:20? Where the fuck are you? I just drank a White Russian, in honor of our new Russian overlord Putin.

      Edit: Oh, I’m gonna guess you’re in Maui…

      • sw19womble

        The clue’s in the name! :D

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

          I dont see how you get anything Hawaii out of the name Jonny. Am I missing something? I thought hawaiians recycled all of the Welsh’s abandoned vowels.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            He abbreviated it from the original jhauonnayah ahon maui.

          • Jonny On Maui

            LOL! Yeah. I shortened it so mainlanders could pronounce it!

            That’s work if I wasn’t from CA…

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I shortened my name so people would stop spelling it incorrectly.

        • nastymagyar

          I wish my name would magically take me to Buda. Or Pest.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Plug 96768 into Google maps…

        • Nasty Candy Apple

          I just did, HOW COOL. Someday I will visit you. I used to have an uncle with a pineapple farm on Maui, but he died. :(

          • Jonny On Maui

            Sorry to hear that. Let me know when you’re coming. We’ll throw another Maui Wonkette Meet N Greet!

          • Nasty Candy Apple

            Deal! I want some spam musubi and some poi or I’m going to pout.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’m afraid I don’t consider spam edible…

          • WomanInTheResistance

            We have plans. They involve Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, 4th dimensional geography, and optimism. But we would be delighted to have you join us.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            What about hammocks? I think there should be hammocks.

          • Jonny On Maui

            There’s hammocks…

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Good. All my Hawaii (Hawai’i?) knowledge comes from Lilo & Stitch.

            https://68.media.tumblr.com/eae6c932ec7357cc817133871ed07b32/tumblr_o42cny4Kdv1uhawv5o1_250.gif

      • shaar dula

        Lynchburg Tennessee, “home state” in the USA and for some reason Australian vintners I’m making rich. Neither of them care, I don’t know why I’m so loyal.

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      I came home from grocery shopping and the house smelled of 4:20. Had to have a word with my son about it because it stank so bad. I told him he should get the stuff he had LAST time, but apparently it’s a “get what you get and you don’t throw a fit” kind of thing. Which…um, no. If I’m buying, don’t give me stanky shit, please and thanks, or I’m buying elsewhere.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Stanky shit, in my experience, kicks WAAAAAAAAy more ass than non stanky shit.

        • Jonny On Maui

          There’s been incredible strides in strains lately. Potency is all over the map, not just THC but CBD and other cannabinoids.

          At least in places where they aren’t insane about the plant…

          • nastymagyar

            The stuff I’m smoking right now is insane. It’s called Trainwreck for a reason.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Yes. An aptly named strain!

          • Serai 1

            Smoking Odyssey here. Very nice.

          • Courser

            White Rhino here. Also very nice. I did a hard 2.5 hour workout today so the indica is very kind to my tired muscles and old joints.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’m partaking of some mids.
            Workin’ man’s weed.
            Which is becoming harder and harder to find these days.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Is there one called Mildly Vague?

          • Courser

            I’m always Mildly Vague while smoking weed. Unless I geek out about something and then it’s motormouth geek-speak.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I get motormouth geek-speek off of 2 glasses of wine.

            Maybe I should stick with that and leave the herbal stuff to those who can deal with it. Either that or I should wait until I have a “boyfriend” to enjoy it with.

          • bookish

            Indica, a leetle bit only, then stop. I’m 63 for chrissakes. Just a touch to relax.

          • Courser

            Yup, good strain, that.

          • The DepravedDemmeFatale

            last night, in the ER, I talked to the doc about pot.
            he’s also a toxicologist, so substances interest him.
            ERs are seeing people that can’t handle how strong it is now.
            they are smoking it the way they did in high school, but it’s waaaaay stronger now than it was then.
            he said pot can be useful in many ways, but it is not the skunk-weed of the olden days.

          • Jonny On Maui

            This is very true!

        • Courser

          I drew the line at a strain called Cat Piss. The Diesel’s and OG’s are extremely stanky too.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          But isn’t “stanky” kind of subjective? Maybe what I think is stanky shit is really nice for someone else.

      • TJ Barke

        Come live where it’s legal, then it’s a buyer’s bonanza.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Watching first timers is hilarious!

          • I’m one of those lucky ones for whom the weed doesn’t work as advertised. It just makes me hungry and paranoid, two states of mind I have no difficulty achieving on my own.

          • TJ Barke

            Sucks, bro…

          • So, I’m told. Kinda hard to miss what I’ve never had, though.

            Obama is said to be reversing the executive order placing weed on schedule 1, so it won’t remain illegal for me in the brief period of time before Trump’s AG decides to prosecute all of the states. . .

          • Nasty Candy Apple

            The first (and only) time I had pot, I ate two Colorado Brownies and hallucinated the Rose Window from Notre Dame cathedral every time I closed my eyes for like six hours. Then I kind of threw up. :( Then I slept it off.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I should have been more specific. I meant first timers in a pot store. Talk about kids in a candy shop…

          • Nasty Candy Apple

            That would be fun! I want to see all of the imaginative things they make, like pot lollypops and chocolate bars.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Some of the chocolate is quite good! Though the folk developing edibles have lost their minds. 6 doses in a single edible? Far too easy to Dowd…

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I think I would be okay if I had mine in something sweet. I wouldn’t use much at a time.

            Put it in pasta, though, and I’m a dead woman.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I made some baked ziti with some ditch weed one time.
            The cycle of munchies was vicious. VICIOUS!

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Again, I’d be dead. Jesus, whose idea WAS that?!

          • MynameisBlarney

            It was mine, lol.
            I was 25 and bored.
            And then really stoned and achingly full of baked ziti.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

          Apparently, recreational pot goes into effect in MA mighty soon. Weed never flipped my switch, but I will prompt buy a toke(n) bag just because I can. Much like midnight on my 21st birthday.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          That’d be nice if I could bring my job and my kid who’s currently in school and would hate moving.

  • Apple Scruff

    Any word out of Louisiana yet?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Not called but not looking good. I just hope the Democratic candidate for mayor of Baton Rouge makes it.

      • Dazza

        Thanks Cally, for all your work. We love you. Give your dogs hugs and walks – and maybe go on a long run to clear away the sadness.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Aw, thanks honey!

    • boyblue123

      DecisionDeskHQ on twitter is rock solid with predictions. Looks like they are calling it for the republican early

      https://twitter.com/DecisionDeskHQ/status/807768807854915584

      • boyblue123

        They tally all the votes in every political race in the US.

        They called the ISSA/Applegate race a few days before the press did and were correct

      • Nounverb911

        Heck of a job there DNC, are you planning on fund raising on this now?

      • Nasty Candy Apple

        Ugh, gross, sick of the Right-Wing Zeitgeist that’s going on presently…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I know this won’t happen, but whoa:

    https://twitter.com/kdunedweller/status/807690513008627712

    • beingreleased

      I’m not convinced that stealing an election is actually illegal.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      I was chatting with my mom today (an ardent Clinton supporter), and she said the same thing. I countered with, “There are still a great number of total assholes in this country, it’s no guarantee Hillz would win in a second round of voting.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        I dunno.
        Seeing the buyers remorse from some of the trump supporters makes me wonder.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Rub their faces in it. Make sure that they are aware that decent people know what they did. Give them no weaselly outs. Make them own it. Personal responsibility, right?

      • Courser

        Hell, there’s no guarantee she’d even run again!

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          This might be enough to get her to run again. Pretty sure she won’t seek a re-match in 2020, though :-(

          • Nasty Candy Apple

            I cannot believe the level of right-wing smear bullshit she’s had to wade through in the last 30 years or so. I was never a total Clinton fan, but I like her immensely and realize that she is a FAR better person than I will ever be. I was excited to have her for my president.

          • Courser

            Same here. The more I learned about her the more I liked her. She was the best qualified person for the presidency in generations.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Ditto. I was appalled at myself when I finally started realizing the bullshit I’d believed about her for so long.

          • mml1996

            Same. Stopped believing in the hitjobs after ACTUALLY DOING MY RESEARCH.

            I still stand by this – she did not deserve this loss. In the end, I hate to say it but America showed it didn’t deserve her (well not America, but MI, IA, OH, PA, NC, FL, WI, ME-02, AZ). And they’ll end up suffering.

          • bookish

            It took decades of lies and smears, the USSR, and the Electoral College to take her down. And she still won the popular vote by 2.5+ million. My candidate.

    • Courser

      Agreed and glad to hear someone say so. Doubt greatly it will happen, but democratic elections have been invalidated in developing countries on a not-too-irregular basis. Just won’t happen here, even though all evidence points to it.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Well if this were a third world country I’m sure that is exactly what they would force us to do.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      What does the Constitution have to say about such things? Can Barry just like say, “I’m declaring a national pants-on-fire and do-overs?” Any such move would necessitate that the nature of the interference is tracked down and killed or it could happen again. Is this just about fake news or was there interference with the vote gathering and/or reporting?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Pinkham’s Law

      Gotta have priorities.

      • boyblue123

        Get rid of all those pesky social safety nets so the top 1% can have bigger tax cuts

      • shaar dula

        he’s like safe zoning in ayn rand hypotheticals. reality does not matter. Even if the Atlas is being shredded he imagines it being only shrugged.

    • shaar dula

      i bet he didn’t hear about it. hence it did not happen. like the cat that drank milk with its eyes closed. what a waste of responsibility.

    • Nounverb911
    • shaar dula

      and this is the epitome of ideal amongst the GoP. Think about that for a moment.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      Really, her only mistake was to underestimate the number of deplorables.

      • sw19womble

        It was a trumpster full

    • Yr. Gma

      He really is a craven coward.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It’s not just the CIA anymore, Donald:

    https://twitter.com/NPR/status/807663960463908865

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      But you forgot that NPR is the new fake news. Keep up!

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

        If it isn’t on Dead Breitbarts Mein Kampf and Trumpdamerung or an InfoWars fever dream its all a bunch of liberal lies.

    • Courser

      This is all awesome. Now what? We need options.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    For some reason, this actually makes me feel better:

    https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/status/807640627101900800

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Well, this enrages me. FUCK COMEY WITH A RUSTY CHAINSAWOF VOTES AND FUCKING INDICTMENTS FOR BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW!!!

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Oh, I’d definitely pissed as well: I’m just glad to see that my hard work phone banking would have paid off…

        …oh, wait, I think I’m back to being enraged. Fuck.

        • Courser

          AOT,K. I know I am.

    • boyblue123

      The PA loss is what makes the “she didnt campaign in the rust belt enough” argument moot.

      She campaigned in PA at least once a week and won all three debates yet still lost

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Campaigned yes. But what was the message for out of work steel workers? Same question The Donald doesn’t have the answer for, but pretends he does.

        • boyblue123

          Good point. Im not sure

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          To the extent that she bears any responsibility for this crap, her ads that focused on hitting Donald rather than promoting her economic plans are the reason. Fuck.

    • mml1996

      Hillary is probably thinking – “Fuck those states. With a huge Nuclear missile.”

  • sw19womble

    Toronto versus Seattle in the Soccerball Final goes to “overtime”.
    0-0 but a cracking game. Seattle hanging on…

  • TX Taco Truck Brigade

    OT: You guys, I had to come back to share this…

    Basically this poor toddler is working on her walking and her cat trips her…which is awful…but then the toddler points at the cat and the cat is like, “No I didn’t!”

    I’ve laughed several times and it makes me an awful person.

    http://cheezburger.com/1815304/funny-fail-video-cat-trips-baby

    • shaar dula

      ohhh. I’m with the gurl. she’s cute as a button and speaks to the truth.

    • Courser

      Jesus that cat’s an asshole. But aren’t they all?

      • TX Taco Truck Brigade

        Speaking of which, most cats like to sleep on clean, freshly laundered clothes. Bastard cat likes to sleep on my dirty clothes – I don’t know if it’s because I rarely do laundry or because I’m OCD and bastard cat must now it drives me crazy, but there you.
        And I still love the little weirdo.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          I knew someone whose cat liked to sleep in his dirty clothes basket. She was fucked up, though. Started life as a rescued stray and her “rescuers” who knew nothing about cats kept her locked up in the laundry room for months because she was feral and they didn’t know what else to do with her, apparently.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            I think it’s because they like our smell (or stench in my case). I adopted a cat in Austin, then left it with my parents and then moved away. They put a shirt I’d worn on the couch and hte poor thing slept on it for weeks.

            They’re weird, weird creatures.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You’d be weird too if you saw things that aren’t there….

        • Jonny On Maui

          Misty, my mostly white furred cat will seek out my freshly laundered black shirts.

          And then does unholy things to them…

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Let me guess, dark colored clothing, right?

            It’s like they KNOW they’re making our lives more difficult and they. don’t. care.

            Bastard cat is white and orange…mom’s favorite cat (and cat’s favorite mom) is all white…baby kitty is white and grey. Somehow I find nothing but white cat fur on the 1 pair of dress pants I own….on interview day.

            Cats just might be evil. ;)

          • Jonny On Maui

            There’s no ‘might’ about it…

    • i am that cat

      • Amy!

        Mmmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Tomorrow is going to be so much fun.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      That’s right – you’re doing the in-law Christmas thing tomorrow, right?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Yep. And I’ve decided I’ll walk back rather than back down.

        • Resist! Even the inlaws!

        • Jonny On Maui

          What’s this? Does Pinkham need backup?

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Jonny On Maui

            They told me they destroyed all the photos of me….

          • I am too evil to resolve in photography or video

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I have a call in to my brother, to see if he will drive 2 hours to extract me, if necessary. I’m going deep into enemy territory, an I have no backup.

          • Jonny On Maui

            God’s speed and keep your powder dry!

          • Nasty Candy Apple

            I’ve watched enough episodes of 24 to know you need a spotter with a sniper rifle in this situation.

          • Courser

            NCIS also.

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

            When they go neoconfederate, we go neoSherman? Good luck tomorrow. Being a humbug by nature, this fucking election has made the holidays that much more unpleasant.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I’m ready to burn their shit down, so this works for me.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Just politely call them out. Every time. Don’t be rude, but be strong. You own the moral high ground. And make sure that they know it. Also, an escape plan is wise.

          • shaar dula

            oh my! whats up with that?

          • I would offer, but living a few hundred clicks away without a licence makes it a challenge

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Appreciated, anyway.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          I drank a bottle of Bailey’s and ran my XSIL off from the Welsh holiday cottage after she was being verbally abusive to my son. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

        • WomanInTheResistance

          For you, darlin’

          https://youtu.be/nvlTJrNJ5lA

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      Fight the good fight, Pink. I haven’t decided whether I am going into full preemptive scorched earth next weekend with my family, or just cogent rebuttals at them.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Cogent rebuttals, if possible. You have to see them again next year.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

          We now live 1500 miles away, so this is the first holiday get together we have made since 2011. In all honesty, I alternate between righteous indignation and existential dread. By and large my folks are country club republicans, but my siblings and their offspring are borderline stormtrumpers. I am glad my kiddos are cooler headed than I, because 20 years ago it would have been ugly as fuck. It really is a fucking shame we can’t choose our families sometimes.

    • shaar dula

      imo. easy does it folks. don’t have to be always pure.
      this ear in, that ear out. not worth it. not in the immediate family. never worth it.
      as they say back home, in every house, the pancakes have holes. let them be.

    • TX Taco Truck Brigade

      Do i need to post the serenity prayer (now edited for atheists!) again?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Go Harry Reid!

    https://twitter.com/SopanDeb/status/807614553425055745

    And on that note, I’ve got the energy to take the dogs out. BBL…

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      There is something foul in the Zeitgeist…

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      STILL waiting for Baton Rouge to count the fucking votes, but the Democratic candidate for mayor just took the lead!

      It’s something, you know. We have to win the little races so we can grow talent for the big ones!

  • Jonny On Maui

    Welp, dinner won’t cook itself…

    https://youtu.be/QNJA55uQA78

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      Dammit. No wonder we’re all hungry here.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        NOT . MY . FAULT !!!!

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          NO of course it’s not! Problem is I want organic free range vegan patchouli sticks and my daughter wants McMac ‘n’ Cheeze Pinkeslimenuggets with a side of screaming veal flavored chocolate covered Pringles.

          Okay, I’m exaggerating, but still. If dinner cooked itself at least I’d be off the hook.

          • boyblue123

            nice food visual lol

          • Count Awesome

            Buy a crock pot and load it up and turn it on. It will essentially cook dinner by itself. Same with using your oven which during winter can double to heat your home.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Dutch ovens are the shit!

          • Count Awesome

            Yes they are.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Count Awesome

            Looks great, but I use stock pots as well as half 400 and 600 pans for that purpose.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            That looks WAY too complicated. And possibly dangerous.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Oh no, it’s ridiculously easy to use. Personally, I think gas grills are more dangerous.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Thank you. That’s why I haven’t used mine since my X moved out over a year ago.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Been working the crock pot, yeah. My son will eat anything that comes out of it but my daughter…not so much.

          • Count Awesome

            How old is your daughter?

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            She’s 15.

          • Count Awesome

            She’s a little old to be only eating grilled cheese, breaded chicken fingers, and Mac and cheese. Is there some food she does like?

    • Hutch

      Nice to hear Jefferson Airplane without too much Grace Slick. Although I preferred her when she sang for the Great Society.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzW5jkgjM24

  • Personal best (or craziest) achieved: 5 non festival films seen in theatre this week!

  • Mahousu

    Wow, this is almost identical to my recipe, except I use red wine and black beans in place of the beer and kidney beans, because I am an impudent liberal snob.

    This being Cincinnati chili, serve it with pasta, cheese and sour cream, if for no other reason than to further mess with anyone from Texas.

    • shaar dula

      hahaha.

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      Pasta…

      *hiss*

      • shaar dula

        ayyo! why ma? it’s pasta only no?

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          Cincinnati chili I like just fine with the cocoa and coffee and such. Put it on spaghetti or hotdogs with cheese and I’m food-triggered about my X who was from the Indy area but for some reason was enamored of all that nasty mess.

          I lost 25lbs after I kicked him out.

    • Courser

      I grew up with macaroni in my chili but it gets too mushy after a day. I tried making the pasta separate then adding to the chili when I warmed it up, but meh, too big a pain in the ass and I live in Colorado now, so everyone thought it was weird. My chili also has a different flavor profile than western chilis.

      • Isn’t chili with macaroni called “American chop suey”? Used to be served in diners, at least here in the northeast.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I always knew it as “Chili-Mac”.

        • notaten

          So sorry, did not mean to down vote and I don’t know how to take it off!!! I was trying to hit reply, but fat fingered it. I don’t want to down vote!

          • MynameisBlarney

            just upvote it, and your downvote will disappear.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I hit the downvote again to take it away. Same as with accidental upvotes.

            Yes, that happens.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Fat Finger Syndrome can happen to anyone.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Especially on the phones. The screen jerks and wobbles and you never know what you’re stabbing at.

          • notaten

            I was just going to say, I always called that Chili Mac, so it was neither Chile nor Macaroni, but delicious and filling whatever it is called

          • Courser

            Yup, Chili Mac and it’s wonderful. I think it’s more of a North Woods thing. Now I use a Simply Organic packet mix, and it’s a similar flavor profile after I add some Penzey’s North Woods seasoning. No mac though

          • No worries.

          • dshwa

            Click on the down vote a second time, or click the up vote. Both usually fix it.

      • Count Awesome

        You can try deep frying the macaroni first and then cooking it in the chili to keep it from absorbing too much liquid.

    • data_ninja

      So, Skyline or Goldstar? Where does your allegiance fall?

    • TX Taco Truck Brigade

      throwing you side eye

    • mml1996

      I’mma definitely take up on that :D

    • Panika MCD

      you already do that with the beans. after that, they’re probably not going to give a shit what you put on or under your Cincinnati chili. even calling it “Cincinnati chili” makes most of use ignore the rest. it’s kind of like saying “Canadian bacon”…though not entirely.

    • Hutch

      You have those cool yellow island lights there in Cincinnati. That is just amazing.

      http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/cincinnati-yellow-lamps

  • sw19womble

    Toronto v Seattle gone to penalty shoot out. Meh.
    But good game in regular play, and one outstanding save by the Seattle goalie…

    • dshwa

      That was a hell of a save.

      I hate penalties though. I’d like to see the rules changes to permit 2 subs during extra time. They tried it in one of the recent U-something tournaments and I hope they expand it

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • boyblue123

      hopefully they do something stupid and get it banned again

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Time for you kids with your twitters to contact the company. Because, really?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      wtf?

      Richard Spencer is banned from the UK for hate speech.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • mml1996

      When does that dickhead Goatee get off THE PLANET?!

  • sw19womble

    Bragging rights to Seattle. 5-4 on penalties.
    West Coast represent – although Cascadian hostilities will be renewed next Summer. ;)

  • Panika MCD

    you missed step one: throw the beans in the trash. beans do not belong in chili*.

    https://www.facebook.com/nobeansHarold/?fref=ts

    *since I’m only part Texan, this isn’t really a fight I have a dog in, Pink. I actually prefer it with beans, but in TX that is often known as “meat soup” or “hamburger soup”. the link is to a joke page we made for Harold Cook last year when he was posting a lot about beans not belonging in the concoction known as “chili”, so another friend made his chili it’s own FacePlant page. Harold himself is a political analyst that lives both here and in Marathon. his chili recipe is in the book linked below and there’s a new recipe book by the same author which boasts his halibut recipe (which I said I’d prepare in AK, but probably wouldn’t touch in Big Bend). we’re still debating whether the name should have been “Harold’s Chili Bitches” or “Harold’s Chili, Bitches”. http://www.lonestarliterary.com/harelik_the-big-bend-cookbook_071615.html

    • TX Taco Truck Brigade

      Well, one of us is wrong P. Pinto beans are an absolute ingredient in chili. WITHOUT them might as well be beef soup.

      Course, you’re from area where they put blackbeans in enchiladas, so we can’t expect much from you folk.
      ;)

      • Panika MCD

        I have never heard of these black bean enchiladas you speak of. but we do have a lot of fusion stuff in Austin, so I’m sure it’s possible. and if you went to the book link, you’d know that his Marathon home sits on land he purchased from Molly Ivins.

        • TX Taco Truck Brigade

          They use to serve wacky black bean versions of otherwise good mexican food at Magnolia Cafe…the bastards.

          Their queso wasn’t bad though.

          The Cubans love blackbeans, but blackbeans and white rice may be one of the most pointless dishes I’ve ever had.

          • Panika MCD

            I usually get the Sonora enchiladas there…if I’m not getting the red devil linguini. and what are you doing with their queso when you can have a mud? I get not being wild about putting black beans in enchiladas, but they totally belong in queso. besides, Mag’s is definitely a fusion place that puts something addictive in their queso,

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Aye, it’s been a long while indeed. Had a friend from Houston during my UT days, she’d ring my ass up on saturdays and our collective hungover asses would go for some queso.

          • Panika MCD

            MUD!

          • Panika MCD

            I also used to be close with the owners’ son, Elliott.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      He’s from Texas, but he has a halibut recipe? And you still trust him to have a chili recipe? Seriously?

      • Panika MCD

        I trust him to have a chili recipe. heck, I even trust him to have a halibut recipe since he hasn’t been confined to the state his entire life. I just don’t trust the halibut available in Big Bend.

        • TX Taco Truck Brigade

          Heh, I met a dude from Oregon a few months ago at a bar…I’m crushing on the bartender so I showed up alone and he and I got to talking.
          He was complaining about the oyesters, me and the bartender/server were like, dude, it’s 600 miles to the nearest (clean) body of water, what do you want?!?”

          • Panika MCD

            exactly. and halibut is like 10 cents a lb. in AK and probably $10 a lb. down here. it’s just: why?

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            THIS! This is why I don’t like seafood. We never had it much and it was probably not very fresh (and it’s disgusting).

            I’m a desert rat, wadda ya want from me?

          • Count Awesome

            But in Alaska the price if everything else is obscene. Hawaii too, also.

          • Jonny On Maui

            When 80℅ of your food is imported…

          • Count Awesome

            Exactly. I knew someone who cooked on a crab boat in Alaska for several months and loved the experience, but said never again because of how much shit costs. I interviewed for a job in Hawaii and the friend who set up the interview kept telling me that if you get/take the job you will lose your mind at the prices in the grocery stores.

          • MynameisBlarney

            And the Keys.
            Even though we’re connected to the mainland by bridges. Shit’s still expensive to haul down here.
            Seafood is cheap though, because I know a ton of fisherman.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s because you can’t just freeze the giant produce we make in the summer. and it’s not our fault tourists think moose nuggets have a worth beyond kindling.

            http://www.alaskagiftcenter.com/moosepoop.aspx

      • Panika MCD

        plus, Molly Ivins trusted him enough to sell him some land, so….

      • Panika MCD

        also also, too too: he has the best tie smirk combination in the West!

  • boyblue123

    SNL on shortly. Hopefully Alec Baldwin is there during the cold open to cause Mr thin skin into a rambling midnight twitter tirade

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • WomanInTheResistance

    We seem to have attracted a new friend in the red-baity thread. It appears to just be a one-and-done, but it is especially nasty.

    • mml1996

      Not TLM eh? I’m hankering for some “liberals-get-eaten-by-sharks” or “I-want-a-hot-rod-up-my-ass”..

      • Count Awesome

        No turgid love muscle?

        • TX Taco Truck Brigade

          He told us he only comes once a month and that seems to be toward the end of the month.

          A troll with a schedule – heh, at least the dude’s organized. I totally imagine he’s got a thing on his calendar, “Troll Wonkette”.

          • Count Awesome

            He’s just having his man-period.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I think he was early this month.

          • Count Awesome

            P.M.M.S.?

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Mmmmmaybe? I don’t know all the letters.

          • Count Awesome

            Pre Male Menstrual Syndrome

          • WomanInTheResistance

            That implies a level of organization that I seriously doubt. I just think its keepers get tired, and perhaps have run out of budget for overtime.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            I read that as “toward the time of the month.” Who knows, I migt be on to something…

        • MynameisBlarney

          I got a turgid love mus….
          Ah, I can’t even finish that, lol.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        How about Clinton is the Worlds Worst Mass Murderess?

        • mml1996

          “clinton-has-sex-with-thai-boys-in-teppenyaki-restaurant”

          • Count Awesome

            You forgot the cobra whiskey shots and that they were ladyboys.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Tell me where so I can go self-investigate!

          • TJ Barke

            Remember to bring an assault rifle.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Just got back from there. Nowhere near as amusing as TLM, which is saying something seeing as how TLM is not at all amusing FFS.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Wonky Woos may now be a permanent part of my vocabulary, however.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I’m not sure whether it sounds cute or like something one should take medication for, in advance.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I was thinking some sort of off-brand candy. You know, the kind you find in independent convenience stores?

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            Please don’t.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            OK, I won’t. But it’s still funny.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          It’s back. Apparently the meds are wearing off.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Thanks–I just went back. Insane and illiterate is a BAD combination!

      • notaten

        The “gallons of splooge” or whatever he calls it always gets me- I always get hung up on that. Gallons, really?

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          I dunno. Could be useful in some cases. Although maybe not LITERALLY gallons of it.

        • MynameisBlarney

          He must watch a lot of hentai.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Red-baity thread? Can you be more specific, since we had two today that could be described as such?

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Why is everybody being so red-baity etc., etc.

  • mml1996

    Pinkham – I totally gonna make this. Gotta a whole lot of free time on my hands!

    Today, I made choc-chip pancakes for the first time – forgot to make whipped cream on the side, but I was happy :D

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      Today I bought blueberry-maple pork sausage for breakfast tomorrow with the pancakes.

      • mancityRed6

        I like the pork and apple sausage. I’m not sure about that kind.
        Unless, maybe, pigs in blankets with pancakes maybe.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          I thought I’d give it a try. Imagine you’re having blueberry pancakes and you have some sausage and you get it all mixed up with the maple syrup. Would you spit that out or keep eating?

          • Count Awesome

            Depends. It sounds like it may be cloyingly sweet. Are the blueberries dried?

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I don’t know. They’re in the sausage and I haven’t tried it yet. I’m cooking some peppered bacon to go with it just in case.

          • mancityRed6

            It would save on syrup. But I’d still roll it up and eat it with my hands.
            And how much is too much blueberry? Is there such a thing?
            I’m only going on my experience with the betty crocker box mix muffins, though, so…

          • notaten

            Nope. I’m one of those who can NOT mix the sweet with the non-sweet, not ever, never. If i’m eating pancakes, fine, but bacon or sausage, whatever, can not be near the syrup. Makes me ill just thinking about it

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Interesting. I’ve run into so many people like that. I grew up eating bacon my mom made with brown sugar (yes, the frying pan was a bitch to clean) so I thought it was something everyone liked. I eat Reese’s Pieces with my popcorn at the movies and it’s the same kind of thing for me. It’s salt + sweet for me.

          • notaten

            My Dad would put bacon, eggs and pancakes all on one plate, then pour syrup all over the whole thing, my Mom and I would both turn our heads away and gag. I don’t know if it’s genetic or a learned behavior, but even thinking about it makes me nauseous.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            I don’t like sweet for breakfast – I mean I don’t really eat breakfast anymore, and I’m not big on sweets period – but hte last thing I want at breakfast is a HUGE dose of sugar…midday or mid-afternoon or late night snack – totally. I’ve never really understood it.

      • mml1996

        YUM! I don’t know why I thought of making pancakes – I think I saw a video of making a choc-crepe cake, and I was like – “nah, might make pancakes instead”.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        I’m making Italian sausage tomorrow.

        It’s a pain in the ass, but BEST SAUSAGES EVAR.

        Recommend it.

    • Courser

      I’m going to go ahead and make my quick ‘n dirty chili tomorrow because while I got a good 2.5 hour workout in today, I got none of my chores done other than shopping. I discovered that going grocery shopping *after* working out (and cool-down) is a not-terribly-good idea. My brain could not get into grocery mode and I wandered back and forth between 3 or 4 aisles for probably close to an hour. Also, that Walmart doesn’t carry tahini anymore. Also no Bush Beans Hummus kits. You MONSTERS!!! I don’t feel comfy buying pre-made hummus anymore.

      But I will make this chili the next time. I already have some petite sirloins I can dice up for the chili. Target has fabulous deals on trays of them from time to time but there’s no Super Target near me. I do a run when they do a meat sale.

      • mml1996

        HOW THE HELL DOES WALMART NOT CARRY TAHINI?!?! SUCH RACISTS #TAHINIMATTERS!

        • Courser

          I KNOW!!! What’s worse is they used to and discontinued it. I asked.

          • mml1996

            Your country is going to hell. Definitely one without Sesame.

  • Hutch

    No pork of any kind? I use bacon ends (and, of course, dried New Mexico Hatch chilies).
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0eaeb1fe2162146a25d44581145703fa5a46589112cb1135e2e56655e587d9c2.jpg

    • notaten

      That’s great, but if you say “chilis” and not “chiles” round here you will not be taken seriously. New Mexico takes their CHILE for serious!!

      • Count Awesome

        Their “queso” too, also.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          When I get my cheese cure I’m moving to New Mexico.

          • Count Awesome

            To each their own. I don’t consider their “queso” a fine cheese.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I don’t care how “fine” it is. After I’m cured, I’m just going to bathe in it.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            As someone who grew up on a mexican community I gotta tell you – it needs to be abuelita (little grandma) made…all mexican food is better when made by the abuelita.

            I swear, I woulda married one girl cause of her abuelita’s queso. From what my gringo ass can tell, it needs to be slow cooked on low in a pot to be good – the cheese and chiles probably have something to do with it as well. ;)

          • Count Awesome

            Learn to make bechamel and mount whatever cheese you want into it as well as flavorings.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Bah, I’m from the paula poundstone school of cooking – i.e. if it’s more than 2 steps, I don’t do it.

            Luckily their are an absolute SHIT TON of frontera restaurants around. In fact, I made a great friend at community college who’s an army SGT and from Ohio. She’s getting reassigned in six months, so I promised to take her to one of my (and the city’s) favorite places. Been around since like 1933. Always good stuff.

          • Count Awesome

            Enjoy your diabetes then.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            A life eating styrofoam or a life lived full of flavor and fun….yeah, I’ve made my decision.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Jeez, dude.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Sad thing is, there was some news about ten years ago about how diabetes was a HUGE problem for mexican-american communities like ours.

            They have, which I non-racistly call, peasant food – like my scotch and irish ancestors. High calorie, filling, fattening, satisfying, and yet cheap/plentiful/easy to grow meals. Of course in modern times, it’s not necessary and even dangerous. But still – kind of a shitty comment IMHO.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Yup. The food we’re all genetically programmed to crave all the time is cheap and plentiful for a reason.

            (edit) And it’s worse for some gene pools than others.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            We po’ folk survived on what we could…and still do.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Someone wise once said McDonald’s tagline could be “Ba-dum-dum-da-da let’s lynch negros!” and people would still buy their shit because it’s full of fat and salt. Something to that.

          • Count Awesome

            I apologize, but maybe cooking for yourself and going beyond two steps may help with that. Was Anthony Bourdain out of line in his comments about Paula Deen selling high fat cookbooks and having diabetes or was that schadenfreude? It was not my first remark.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Look, I assume you’re coming from a good place. In all honesty, it’s a rare treat. Few of us eat “right”, all vegetables and fish and stuff. All I was saying was it’s an affordable, fun treat out: special occasions, dates, guests in town, celebrations with friends…that kind of thing.

          • Count Awesome

            Fair enough.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Great!

          • Count Awesome

            People that eat nothing but processed food do have many health issues later in life in regards to diet. About 17 years ago I shattered my wrist and elbow playing basketball in the middle of attending culinary school. The surgeon that put the screws in my elbow wound up taking cooking classes on his off time so he could feed himself and eat better.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            So that makes it okay to tell TX Taco Truck Brigade “enjoy your diabetes” how? Come on.

          • Count Awesome

            If you aren’t willing to change your lifestyle then consequences.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            They keep telling me the smoking, drinking, diet, and lack of exercise will kill me.

            I keep asking, “Yeah, I’ve heard that before. When?”

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            Dude you’re harshing my mellow.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            There are also consequences if you’re not willing to stop being a prissy judgmental food snob, especially when people have been trying to politely point out that you should, you know, STOP.

          • Count Awesome

            Fine. I’m wrong.

          • Hutch

            Oh man! How about besciamella (Italian bechamel) on ragu sauce. Simply fucking amazing.

          • Count Awesome

            It’s one of the five mother sauces. It’s just butter, flour, milk, nutmeg, and a bay leaf attached to an onion quarter with a clove.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I do that when I make my special mac ‘n’ cheese for my daughter. Except not nutmeg, but a whole clove affixing a bay leaf onto the onion quarter starts the liquid simmering that gets lobbed into the roux. Then I put whatever cheese into it that I’m in the mood for.

          • Count Awesome

            You’ll have great results if you use a rendered fat, i.e bacon fat as well as sweat your aromatics and spices.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            That’s fine. Just torture me.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            The rightwing politics in TX may be crazy – but goddamn is the food good. ;)

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            There was a little Mexican place in Solana Beach I used to love because the food had an unmistakable mark of an abuelita on it. The slow-cooked complexity and high quality were incredible. Then one day we went there and the food was just not the same. I instantly knew abuelita had retired. A couple months after that the place closed down.

      • Hutch

        I typed “chilis” at first, but spellcheck apparently didn’t like it. But Hatch chilis (there!) are the best.

        • Count Awesome

          Chilés.
          FTFY

          • Hutch

            Honestly! Thank you!

            (I’m not even that drunk yet. Sheesh.)

          • Count Awesome

            Track down morita chilés if you are a fan of spicy food. It’s a ripe smoked jalapeño that is hotter and rounded than a Chipotle and has a resiny smell.

        • notaten

          If you try to order anything from Hatch, you best spell it “chile” with an “E” or you ain’t gettin none, all I’m sayin ;)

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • TJ Barke

    Here’s a good article on what a piece of fascist murderous garbage John Kelly is:
    https://www.jacobinmag.com/2016/12/trump-kelly-homeland-security-southcom-colombia-honduras/

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Military men, after all, are used to serving at the pleasure of the president. They are nothing if not loyal, steadfast; bellicose on the battlefield and compliant in the boardroom.

      For a notoriously insecure president-elect who has trouble mustering support even from the upper echelons of his own party, a military man’s allegiance probably strokes all the right muscles.

      That explains why Donald is picking so many of them, then.

      Today, Colombia is home to seven million internally displaced people — more than any country except Syria — most of them peasant farmers displaced by this paramilitary push into the countryside. With peasants running scared and the land cleared of inhabitants, large landowners have done exceedingly well — between ten and fifteen million hectares of land have changed hands over the course of the conflict, and in 2011 the United Nations reported that just 1.15 percent of the population owns 52 percent of the country’s rural properties.

      Well, fuck. #OhGodWeAreSoScrewed

      • TJ Barke

        That’s the future.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    OT So I complained earlier at the misrepresentation of Proust and then I was talking to FMC and I read him a couple sentences of “Swann’s Way” and then nearly a paragraph of “The Mill on the Floss” (same number of sentences) and we have reached a consensus that no one who wrote “Gilmore Girls” has ever actually read these books, they just quote and reference them at random.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Did you then ram a red-hot fork up FMC’s ass? Because Proust. Really.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        It was the show “Gilmore Girls”, FMC prefers articles.

  • Hutch

    OT, but I made jarred gefilte fish that was amazing. Apparently, you have to reheat it, scooping out all the vegies and adding fresh carrots and celery. Eat it cold with atomic horseradish and it is amazingly good. Sounds awful, but it is really good.

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      I like my gefilte fish startled so much better than jarred.

      • MynameisBlarney

        You haven’t lived until you’ve tried shocked gefilte fish!

        • mancityRed6

          I prefer “mildly perturbed”

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah, those are good. Just stay away from the “homicidal, axe wielding maniac” gefilte fish though.

            Trust me on this one.

          • mancityRed6

            that explains why I leave the apt for a few hours and come home to the severed heads of several neighbors on my balcony.
            thanks.
            I coulda used that info when I went to the store today.
            And that lady at the deli seemed so nice, too.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Hee! I’m picturing the expression right now and can’t stop giggling…

    • Courser

      It does sound positively awful, but my ex-bf was from a Conservative Jewish family in CA. He brought some of all the seder food they back. His family makes it all from scratch so the lox and gefilte fish were to die for. On the other hand, my people like stuff like lutefisk (fish cured in lye) and pickles herring. I actually do not care for those things, but I enjoyed the gefilte fish.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Because I know how bored y’all get…

    A 2016 Map Showing What Every Country in the World Is Best at
    http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/because-every-country-is-the-best-at-something/

    • TJ Barke

      HOW CAN LIBYA BE BEATING US IN FAT KIDS?! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!

      • BadKitty904

        I’m somewhat more concerned that Mongolia is beating the U.S. at “velociraptors”. I’m hoping they mean dead specimens?

        • TJ Barke

          Indeed they are, the flaming cliffs of Mongolia are the prime region in which velociraptor mongoliensis is found.

          • BadKitty904

            But dead, right? Just to clarify – the ones in Mongolia are dead, yes? Fossilized?

          • mancityRed6

            that’s just what “they” want you to think.

          • Courser

            Yes, quite dead. Fossilized to death

          • Jamoche

            Except it’s got the black “nasty” tag – fossils are cool, so it can’t be that.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          You would think, looking at the new proposed cabinet, that the US would have “velociraptors” in a walk.

          • BadKitty904

            I do this kind’ve stuffs all the time, to my bf’s concern.

          • Meet my irrational fear of travelling to California as i firmly believe that upon the landing of my plane, that is when the state fill fall into the ocean

          • BadKitty904

            As I tell my sweetie – “It’s only ‘irrational’ up until the moment it actually happens.”

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Well, you live in hurricane land.

            Wait, I live in tornado-now-also-earthquake land.

            Never mind.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            The TX mom long ago warned me against going ot college there..”it’s going to fall into the ocean…and then what will your degree be worth!?”

            It’s actually quite lovely.

          • Mine is my mom’s fault too!

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            Honey, that’s why we all have surfboards.

          • They have those at the airport?

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            Yes they hang them on the walls. Just grab one and go.

          • notaten

            Can work for zombies too, although the garage door for either scenario is a vulnerable point.

      • Count Awesome

        They also led the world in virgin bodyguard assassins. (Sigh) times have changed.

        • notaten

          Virgin Bodyguard Assassins was going to be the name of my Pat Boone tribute band. Oh well, back to the drawing board I guess

    • WomanInTheResistance

      I have my doubts on this. Because, while I have no argument with the USA being first in spam e-mails, I question whether or not Sweden is really the best at pop music.

      • TJ Barke

        ABBA, case closed.

        • mml1996

          Mamma mia!

      • Count Awesome

        Aqua and “Barbie Girl” libelz!

      • TX Taco Truck Brigade

        There’s an article in the local fishwrapper about “the sounds” who are swedish, but I actually like them.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Actually that makes sense if you’ve listened to the radio in the last five years.

      • BadKitty904
        • WomanInTheResistance

          This proves my case.

        • TX Taco Truck Brigade

          I’m a hard core punk rocker – and yet for some reason this song gets to me…it may be Communist mind control. (BTW have you ever seen the first halloween episode of Community that features an all ABBA play list…hiliarious.)

          • Jamoche

            How about a punk ABBA cover? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCFCmy_ZTFA

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            YOu and I need to be friends.
            ;)
            I’m such a sucker for cheesy bubblegum pop – I have no idea…I like gutter punk bands, but certain tunes…I cant help it.

      • MynameisBlarney
    • mml1996

      I think I’m laughing seeing Pakistan = “Gay Porn” & India = “Bananas”. Such beautiful placement :D :D

      • BadKitty904

        It just seems so…natural

    • Jamoche

      Mongolia leads in velociraptors? And this is tagged as a bad thing?

      • BadKitty904

        You must be faster than I am. And I’m pretty fast.

    • I love that Nigeria is rocking Scrabble players

      • BadKitty904

        And I say to myself…”It’s a wonderful world…

    • mml1996

      This map might just increase immigration to Canada!

      BECAUSE MY PERSONAL FREEDOM IS TO WATCH JUSTIN TRUDEAU DO WORK HIS CORE MUSCLES! ITS IN THE GODDAMN CONSTITUTION – SORRY FOR THE CUSS-WORD

      • BadKitty904

        If the Nov. 7th election hasn’t already done that, nothing will.

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    Map showing how much the earth is getting cooked.

    https://twitter.com/Climatologist49/status/807775046261350401

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I don’t see any pink.

      • Nounverb911

        After twittler gets done there won’t be any magenta or dark blue either….

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        The map is rated PG-13.

    • Panika MCD

      that’s just how much less than 30% of the world is being cooked given the lack of coverage of water; Greenland; parts of Indonesia, Bolivia and the Amazon; Congo; and the entirety of Antarctica. wasn’t this part of what that nice Weather Channel lady was complaining about the other day?

      • Nounverb911

        Greenland is melting nicely according to this terrific article in the New Yorker.

        http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/10/24/greenland-is-melting

        • Panika MCD

          it’s the Greenlandic Ice Shelf, not Greenland itself.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Give Donald time. Just give him time.

      • boyblue122

        yeah Breitbart was just cherry picking land temperature. They werent accounting for the avg temp of water covering the rest of the earth

    • Hutch

      Sheesh. Makes me glad I’m old. I used to be such a vocal and active environmental advocate. Well, I’ll just sit and munch soylent green with my memories and – Hey! Get off my mico clover lawn (that needs little water, is always green, helps the soil, and attracts pollinators)!

      • Shan – Mildly Depraved

        I ride my bike to power my computer so I can Wonk 24/7.

        • Hutch

          You do not, Shan! Or do you?

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            No, it’s another Soylent Green joke.

  • mancityRed6

    Even though it’s winter, it doesn’t mean you have to put the grill away.
    Get some whole jalapenos. Split in half and remove the seeds. Fill with cream cheese. Put the two halves back together and wrap with a slice of bacon. Pin it with a toothpick.
    Place on a grill until the bacon is cooked.
    Remove the toothpick before eating.
    The original recipe called for ground Andouille sausage instead of the cream cheese, but it’s kinda hard to find in Eastern Kansas without going to the big city of KC.

    • Hutch

      Do I need an AK to cook this?

      • mancityRed6

        preferably a beer or two, so no firearms allowed.

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      I get locally made andouille sausage at my grocery store.

      YOU ARE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH

      • TX Taco Truck Brigade

        Also, the seeds are the best part…that’s the good stuff – the rest is just…ugh…vegetables.

        • mancityRed6

          the seeds are irrelevant for this. you need room for stuffing.

          • I like to use a mix of cream and goat cheese.

          • mancityRed6

            I’m not saying I wouldn’t, but I’ve only had goat cheese at greek restaurants.
            Maybe feta?

          • French style: Chevre. It’s very spreadable

          • Count Awesome

            Feta that people eat in America is usually cows milk. It’s salty because it’s been brined.

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, it is. I used to get a good box of feta that had been packaged with olive oil and crushed red pepper flakes, though.

          • Count Awesome

            From what you have said your location is a problem, but have you tried Bulgarian Feta?

          • What about Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

          • mancityRed6

            that sounds made up and slightly dirty

          • Count Awesome

            Sounds like “fromunda” cheese.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            *snort*

            You owe me money for cat therapy now.

          • mancityRed6

            I actually know a Bulgarian woman, so, yes…yes I have.

      • mancityRed6

        ok, so fine. I’ll drive the 3 (?) hours to pick some up next summer since I have to rely on the kindness of others for a grill.
        Thanks.
        *sobs, weeps*

        • Count Awesome

          Go on Amazon and look for a butcher’s handbook. The butcher’s handbook should have complete recipes for curing everything from prosciutto to bacon to botarga as well as sausage recipes. I would offer the name and author of the one I own, but it has been on loan to multiple friends over the last five years.

          • mancityRed6

            my neighbors would not like me at all in this apt complex.

          • Count Awesome

            Buy a small wine locker to hang the meat in. Its done in restaurants all the time because the temp and humidity are controlled.

          • mancityRed6

            that sounds like a lot of work

          • Count Awesome

            Depends. The work is the curing/brining The hanging is for anywhere from 45 to 90 days for moisture loss. You would also need prague powder/nitrate salt. The hanging part is really just remembering it’s there.

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, see…I’ve got the netflix and a PS4 with games I need to play, not to mention the cats I should be playing with right now and the books I need to borrow.

          • Count Awesome

            The cats will play with you when they want to. Otherwise I understand.

          • mancityRed6

            not saying it’s a bad idea, but I know how I am.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Dude. Instant mashed potatoes.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Heh, I had a roommate from wisconsin – he used to get totally baked and make instant mashed potatoes – which is fine when baked…but then stir in massive amounts of ketchup.

            I’m convinced he was a pod person from another planet

        • Resistinceisnotfutile

          Someone’s angling for a grill for Christmas! Santa?

          • mancityRed6

            no open flames on wooden balconies. sort of a rule here.
            *frownyface*

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            Oh. Well then Foreman grill!

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          Fanestil is closer to you than it is to me!

          • mancityRed6

            I have qualms about buying meat through the mail.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            I’m not saying you should! I just mean that if I can get it at MY grocery store butcher counter, YOU should be able to as well!

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          Also you can come get this grill any damn time you want to as long as you can find a way to vent it out of your apartment.

    • notaten

      My neighbor makes these all the time, with deer or elk sausage mixed in with the cream cheese stuffing, it’s delish

  • Nounverb911

    Calling all east coast wonkers, did SNL cold open with Alec Baldwin as the pretzel elect this week?

    • boyblue122

      they opened with Kate McKinnon as KaC

      • Nounverb911

        Thanks.

  • Snopes Shop

    Foster Campbell lost.

    • Nounverb911

      Well after all the DNC was such a big help, now they have something else they can fund raise on…

      • boyblue122

        he lost by 20 points. That one was out of reach

    • MynameisBlarney

      Fuck

    • ltmcdies

      he did sound like kind of a long shot but …fuck

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OT alert, but the troll on the Why is everybody being so red baity and McCarthyite post is biting back. This one is illiterate even by troll standards!

  • boyblue122

    Weekend Update is ripping into Drumpf

    • Nounverb911

      So far Twittler hasn’t twitted….

      • Someone showed Donnie how to use a DVR, so he’s delayed

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Maybe he’s doing a couple lines first.

        • boyblue122

          hes gotta burn that midnight oil somehow i guess

          • Nounverb911

            That’s okay he’s got a pipeline to Russia now.

      • boyblue122

        maybe he just watches the cold open

    • BadKitty904

      Good. He can’t be ripped into too early or too often.

  • Need to pick a movie to watch tomorrow. That will be my Two Hundredth of 2016

    • Nounverb911

      Tompopo.
      Great Japanese movie from the 80’s, it’s about food and sex and food.

      • I was thinking Netflix…and that is not on there. And downloading subtitle stuff never works well for me

        • Nounverb911

          The Museum of Modern Art just restored it and is threatening a new Blu-ray maybe then Netflix will get it then.

          • But that doesn’t help for tomorrow. I have added to my watchlist for future reference

          • Hutch

            We don’t know what you’ve already seen. Did you binge “Stranger Things.” Very cool.

          • TV doesn’t count…

          • Hutch

            “Stranger Things” is a Netflix entity. Even in Canada. :-)

          • Oh i know. We aren’t allowed to count TV

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        Oh, that’s a favorite. I also recommend Babette’s Feast.

    • Hutch

      Um, “The Secret Life of Pets?” Sort of odd with all the French folks involved (and, goddamn it, I’m of French ancestry so I know). But very cute.

    • TX Taco Truck Brigade

      Does it have to be movie? decent tv show suffice?

      • Nope. My friends and i have only been counting movies. I tried really hard to get my Sherlock binge to count last year

        • Lark_in_the_AM

          Have you seen Zootopia? A nice antidote for the current political climate.

          • Yes, earlier this year.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Dammit, see that’s the challenge, finding things that are 1) on netflix and 2) things you haven’t seen.

            And yes, using 1) and 2) has been an effective trick when writing law-related essays so they don’t sound like run on sentences…

            Now I have to go browse.

          • I am also willing to acquire through other PERFECTLY LEGAL methods…(i saw 5 movies in theatres this week)

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Lol….yeah, but my interests are so weird and unless I have a complete picture of what you’ve seen (in your entire life!) I feel like I’d be spamming.

            Also, it depends on your group. LIke, “The Rock” is up on Netflix now. It’s an early Michael Bay film, and cheesy and action oriented and all that shit – but I love that movie! So, I feel like I should 3) think of something your group will like.

          • I posted my list of what i have watched this year upthread a bit

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Okay, I’ve reviewed your list….and am horrified…some totally random things that have popped up on Netlifx (hope you haven’t seen them):

            “big trouble in little china”
            “heathers”
            “clerks”
            “the crow” (original)
            “dazed and confused”
            “dusk till dawn” (original, not tv show)
            “ravenous” (i love this movie, but don’t draw any conclusions from it’s disturbing content, I just love how creepy and scary it is, given how isolated people were in the 19th century west)
            “re-animator” (For disturbing content)

            And thtat’s just what showed up on my Netlfix page…I haven’t exactly searched around.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            yeah, I’m rewatching Ravenous. Pick that for your group. I have a feeling they’ll dig it.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            What about Miyazaki films? Just about any one you could pick would be wonderful. Or, you could go seasonal – I bet you could find White Christmas or The Nutcracker.

          • I was considering starting my Christmas cycle of rewatches shortly. I kind of want to watch Nakotomi Tower explode

    • boyblue122

      Have you seen Life in a Day on Netflix.

      It shows various people around the world going about their lives on the 20th of July 2010 from midnight to midnight. Its very relaxing

    • This is what i have watched so far:

      http://www.imdb.com/rg/s/1/list/ls031230748/

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        I see that you went on an Alan Rickman binge this year, too. Still miss him.

        • TX Taco Truck Brigade

          Cracked said he didn’t do DieHard – his first big film – until he was 50 or 60….gives me hope I may be rich someday.

    • mancityRed6

      God Bless America, it’s on Netflix.
      Trust me, it’s funny.

  • Nounverb911
    • Count Awesome

      El Chapo or GTFO.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Meanwhile, in Sweden…

    Tiny, Magical Shops for Mice Are Popping Up in Sweden
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stores-restaurants-mice-sweden_us_584ae4fae4b0bd9c3dfc7975?section=us_weird-news

  • Nounverb911

    Okay, time for dessert.

    https://youtu.be/U3khFGSN3XA

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, no, I’m not clicking on that. I had to choose between alcohol and dessert, and the former is winning in a landslide for the foreseeable future…

      • Nounverb911

        Try it, you’ll like it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • TJ Barke

      No, technically, they’re still not…

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Well, the ones that pointed out that we need to focus more on our economic policies had a point. The ones that said we should throw our base under the bus because “identity politics are BAD!!!”, OTOH, can piss off FFS.

        • Juan de Payaso

          See, I don’t think the dem’s need to focus better on economic policies because what have we been arguing for years? A higher minimum wage and stronger unions. What is Trump arguing for? Less talk about minimum wage and the unions can go fuck themselves and the workers with them.

          Self-victimized people, too lazy to get up off their ass and better themselves (Carrier offered one hell of a severance plan, including education), or those who want to go back to a society where it’s cool to blame anyone “different” for our problems are the reason why Trump got elected. I work with these people – we all work with these folks or know them.

          Low information at best, racist as fuck at worst.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            I see your point, but I think it might have helped with turnout. Can’t find the link now but it seems the real issue with the WWC wasn’t them voting for Trump as much as it was them staying home in the first place. There’s no reason we can’t simultaneously stand up for economic justice and social equality!

          • Hutch

            I have to disagree. I drove through the eastern U.S. during the campaign. All the trailer parks and hovels throughout had Trump signs. I saw NO Clinton campaign signs ever. Even in rich areas. I realized that something was very wrong.

            And I wondered. Did I think that the Arkies and Okies of the Great Depression and the “Grapes of Wrath” share the same culture with the Roosevelts? No. They were just in great need. But we insulted them in 2016 and lectured them and told them they were deplorable.

            I don’t think we all have to be on the same page culturally. We just need to help common folks. Racist? I don’t care. We help the people who are hurting and in need. I’m not going to punish anyone for their ignorance. But I used to be a nun. Bleeding heart, I guess.

            The Democratic Party used to be for the common man – however common. But I’m an FDR Democrat. I guess things have changed.

            I’ll let myself out.

          • Juan de Payaso

            So, being on the side of a higher minimum wage and universal healthcare isn’t being for the common man?

          • Hutch

            Seems like when we vote for Democrats we vote for A. And get non-A.

            We get less safety net (welfare repeal thanks to Bill Clinton), higher premiums in ACA and no single payer (thank god I have employer insurance), more punitive prison time mostly for African Americans (again Clinton), and crappy trade policies. And folks in poor areas rely on the Armed Services as a way out, but we just use them as cannon fodder in the latest Middle East du jour. Yeah. minimum wage is a huge deal when you have to work for some telecom yutz who treats you like shit for $15 per.

            Everything is Broken (as the song goes).

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB7JrHw0yHU

          • Juan de Payaso

            I’d agree with you somewhat re. welfare reform (not repeal) and prison time but does anyone even know how trade actually works? We all hear about “TPP” and NAFTA” on right wing and left wing blogs – does any of us really know how it works, bigger picture and all of that or are we all still stuck on bringing $10-15 an hr manufacturing jobs back the U.S. in 2017?

            Because they’re never coming back. I would’ve much rather went with the lady who was offering free 2 yr college to earn an associates degree/diploma in electronics to get an entry level job in automation instead of complaining about how all of our manufacturing jobs have left the U.S.

            Just me.

          • Hutch

            I was working at The Evergreen State College in Washington State when NAFTA was being debated and the me and the “communists” there understood it. And worked to stop it. No, the manufacturing jobs ain’t coming back, because no one in power advocated for them staying. Wasn’t in style then.

            But you’re right. Obama visited community college after community college and it did SO much good for electronics majors. (And I write federal grants to help vocation ed. Not many out there despite the “optics”).

            Yeah, I voted for HRC (not that it made a big difference in Georgia) and she would have been a better option, but don’t blame the majority. Everything is broken.

          • Juan de Payaso

            Good points. I personally work in the automation/control systems industry so I have an obvious bias towards educating our workforce to learn a new skill/trade because as we both know – manufacturing jobs aren’t coming back. However, there’re plenty of new jobs available in automation and they pay a helluva lot better than manufacturing.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I wasn’t even born when any of that happened but I do know Bill Clinton had to work with a Republican Congress and avoided a complete meltdown by toning down their ideas when he couldn’t outright reject them. Maybe there is nuance and complexity to our legislation!

  • BadKitty904

    I and my Emergency Back-Up Kitties are sleepy, so time for bed. Sweet dreams, y’all!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/07fdfa53e4c9ae476ae99dc51785a7956091e785bab283405af55a83fb5916bd.png

    • TX Taco Truck Brigade

      Awww.bastard cat and his sister used to sleep like that before she died…I”m convinced his bheaviour issues stem from losing his little sister.
      Now, I’m sad.

      • Attack hug!

        • TX Taco Truck Brigade

          Aw thanks! I didn’t cry when the TX dad died (7 years ago yesterday, btw), but when that poor little innocent kitty died a few months later, I did. It’s a weird thing, I admit, but I think some of y’all will understand. Grief and loss is a weird thing.

          And thanks for the hug…I need that this time of year.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            (((Hugs)))

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Thanks dude. He was sick for 2 years, so I knew it was coming…but it’s hard on the TX mom, which makes it doubly hard for me…Thanksgiving was the last time I talked to him. I no longer like that holiday or early december as much as I did.
            He taught me how to tie a tie, and drive stick shift, and treat a girl right. He was not a perfect man, but he was a good man.

            I really appreciate it.
            yeah, i’m sad again. :(

          • WomanInTheResistance

            The only thing that has ever helped me deal with this is trying to remember how lucky I was to have ever known that person at all. Sounds like you were lucky.

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Aye, to most people he was a grumpy bastard. But we got to see the rare occasion when he would tell some crappy dad joke and be generally charming or brilliant.

            The TX dad was actually my stepdad, but I always called him my dad, and still consider him as such. He definitely had flaws, lots of them! but he meant well.
            He used to tell me he was lucky cause he got to choose me too.

            Anyway…it’s a tough time of year.
            Thanks everyone. I’ve really been avoiding it…

          • mml1996

            Come ‘ere, ya big lug! ((hugs))

          • TX Taco Truck Brigade

            Awww, ya’ll so sweet.
            :)

      • BadKitty904

        Cats, in general strongly dislike change. They’re very much creatures of routine. So, yes, it’s quite possible that your remaining cat’s behavior has been affected by y’all’s loss of his sister.

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    @Pinkham’s Law: ::pokes hornet’s nest:: that isn’t REAL chili. Here is the list of vegetables which go into the authentic Colorado River Bowl of Red:

    onion
    garlic

    Note the absence of fresh peppers, tomatoes, or any other vegetable matter. Beef should be london broil or chuck, cubed, not ground. Chili powder is banned in favor of chile paste made from a mix of dried chiles, toasted and made into paste just before use. The only other seasonings permitted are cumin and Mexican oregano (the seekrit ingredient) – if you put chocolate in it, that’s mole, and beer is permitted as an accompanying beverage, but NEVER in the sacred Bowl of Red. Beans in chili are an abomination unto the Lord, and using them will cause the cook to be cast into the outer darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth, and sweet cornbread. Beans are to be served on the side, as is proper, and pinto beans are the only acceptable bean (red beans, as in the kind one uses in red beans and rice, are an OK substitute, but pasty red kidney beans are an eastern affectation to be met with strong resistance). The picture shows you what it should look like.

    There. Now that you have been set to rights, I can say that your soup recipe looks yummy. Just don’t call it Chili. 😉 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/47fb340ca17c0478156674fa6089e0d0103aba197000d48d914717441b302ce7.jpg

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Yeah, or you could make *good* chili.

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        Oh it is good. Every time I make it, I catch people licking their bowls clean.

        • Hutch

          Sir, I would be wearing on my head.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          You’d probably need to lick your own bowels clean after making that.

          • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

            Bowels are usually self-cleaning after a meal like that I find.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            That’s weird. I have wildly inconvenient and frustrating food issues and that’s NOT one of the meals that would cause me any problems.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Montezuma’s revenge comes from drinking the water, not eating the Chili, which cures all ailments foreign and domestic.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I’m just busting your balls for being a purist.

            Chili is awesome in many ways.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            I know . . . truth to tell, I enjoy most chili recipes. I kinda have categories of chili, so I’m perfectly happy eating the stuff with tomatoes, ground beef, and beans (though, there are some things which should *never* be in chili, like rice, or corn or ::shudders:: celery, no matter which category it falls into) and I even have some terrific recipes for those. But nothing tastes of home like a Bowl of Red.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Heh, I’m with you all the way. Chili is good a lot of different ways.

            Is that your pic? Because if so I’m impressed with your choice of cookware. That’s a Le Creuset 7 1/4 quart dutch oven, if I’m not mistaken.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            It is my pic, and it is indeed a Le Creuset dutch oven. I use it for chili, stew, braising oxtails for soup, and all manner of delicious things. I got it as a Christmas gift many moons ago, and I don’t think I could cook without it now. :-)

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Bought mine nearly eight years ago and use it for EVERYTHING. Best piece of cookware I’ve ever bought.

            I give them as presents, because PEOPLE HAVE TO KNOA! They’re indispensable when you get to know them. Fond? No problem. Sauce? Yeah, it’ll do that. Deep fry? Yep. Big-ass fucking spaghetti and meatballs? Yep, easy. Love the damn thing.

            Sorry, I’m getting all “squeeee” about cookware now.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            I can relate. That and my grandmother’s “spider” (cast iron skillet on legs!) are the two most essential pieces of cookware I own, and will be parted with only after I have shuffled off of this mortal coil to the great Test Kitchen in the Sky.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            A fellow Test Kitchen fan? <3. I'm a fellow traveler, and also a Cooks Illustrated subscriber.

            My best kitchen purchases:
            – Le Creuset dutch oven
            – Kitchenaid stand mixer
            – Kitchenaid food processor
            – Pressure cooker for canning (San Marzano tomatoes year round? AWESOME)

            My worst:
            – Flat griddle. It's great but I've used it twice
            – Margaritaville machine. I've got a fucking blender. Dumbass purchase.
            – Shabu shabu cooker. Nuff said.

            ATK and CI are my go-to for what to buy, and they've never let me down.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Working in ATK would be my idea of a dream job, no doubt. I love to cook, and experimenting is in my blood, so it would be hard to come up with better arrangement!

            Ditto on the Kitchen-Aid stand mixer, though I have an ancient Oster stand mixer with standard sized bowls I still use when I make things where I have add stuff while the mixer is going. I love my K-A, but there’s not a whole lot of room between mixer body and bowl. I love my K-A food processor, too, but I love my Wüstof knives even more. My 8″ chef is like a part of my arm.

            My most useless kitchen purchase would have to have been my waffle iron. I can’t even remember the last time I used it.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I can honestly talk about this stuff all night.

            The knife thing – the Victorinox is nice, but the Global holds an edge better. Doesn’t matter if you sharpen often.

            Any well-weighted knife feels like an extension, IMHO.

            Haha, I have a waffle iron!! Never used it. That should be on my list.

            Oh, more

            Good:
            – pressure cooker
            – rice cooker

            Stupid:
            – slow cooker

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            But I Luuuuuuuurve my slow-cooker!! It’s saved my bacon on more than one occasion, when I’ve had no time between end of work and ferrying kids to various activities. Coming home to a dinner that has cooked itself is a real boon.

            I have a Le Creuset saucier that makes perfect rice every time, so I’ve never felt the need for a rice cooker.

            On my “wtf was I thinking” list – copper saute pan. ugh.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            When I say “stupid” I mean “stupid for me” for the slow cooker. As soon as I wake up, I go to work because my job is insane, so I have no time to prep. Maybe I should try the night before.

            The rice cooker I love because I can set a future cook time, knock up a thai green curry or some shit when I get home, and the rice is perfect and *just there*.

            Copper pan? Lol!! Yeah, when I was younger I bought in to that nonsense. Give me an all-clad every time if I can’t use the le creuset.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            I suspect that the contents of our kitchen cabinets would be difficult to tell apart. :-)

            Just throw your stuff together the night before, put the crock in the fridge, then put it into the cooker before you leave, and come home to delicious smells and a delicious meal on your table in minutes. On days when you’re exhausted or are hungry now, there really is nothing better.

            Two more kitchen indispensibles: maple pastry pin and a silpat mat.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Oh, pastry pins! I’ve got two. One which is maple and tapered towards the end. The other is more like an erect donkey dick. No taper and just solid wood. The tapered is much better, especially when doing pie or pizza dough.

            Nobody can live without a silpat!

            You’ve given me an incentive to try the slow cooker again. A good stew when I get home from work sounds great.

            Other indispensable tools: garlic press, microplane grater, pineapple corer (yes, not as much use)

            It does seem like we have similar kitchen cabs :D

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            I’m lazy and let them core my pineapples at the grocery. ;-D Grater – oh yes! I love mine to pieces. I don’t use my garlic press as much as I used to. I’m more likely to crush and toss whole cloves in, as I’m less likely to end up with that bitter, overcooked taste. My maple pin is tapered, too, and works 10 times better that the marble pin (another ‘wtf was I thinking’ purchase) it replaced.

            Piece of kitchen equipment I’m hankering after: a cast-iron bacon press. Not only will it keep the bacon flat in the pan, but I can use it as a press on my grill pan and make paninis.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Whole cloves are great if you’re making something like garlic bread or soup, but I like the pressed ones for Italian food. Gotta be careful with the cook time.

            The LC dutch is great, but I’ve gotta say that the all-clad kit is amazing for fond production, and some stuff just doesn’t like the dutch oven.

            A cast iron bacon press I’ve never heard of. Tell me more!

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Here’s what it looks like: https://www.amazon.com/Lodge-LGP3-Rectangular-Pre-Seasoned-6-75-inch/dp/B00063RXNI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481469153&sr=8-1&keywords=lodge+bacon+press – sort of like an old-fashioned flatiron, but rectangular and, well, flat. It’s a great way to evenly cook bacon (and it goes quicker because you are cooking both sides at once). My Grandma had one she used every morning. The bacon always came out flat and perfectly crispy every time.

            Also, I ‘inherited’ a Le Creuset grill pan from my mother (Dad gave it to her as a gift and she never used it, so one day she she was cleaning her cabinets of stuff she doesn’t use and offered it to me. Who turns down Le Creuset?), that I love to use to make paninis, but I end up weighting the sandwiches down by putting a glass casserole with cans on top of them. A bacon press would do that job less precariously, methinks.

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      Looks like BBQ roadkill. Bleh.

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        Nope – it’s The Best. It simmers on the stove for six hours, and the beef just melts in your mouth. No barbeque taste at all – just beefy deliciousness.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          But you still can’t call it chili.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Ah, but it is, in fact, the original and ONLY chili. Guess you just had to grow up out west to know. :-D http://www.abowlofred.com/documents/2014/RULES_Updated_Sept_2014.pdf

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Pft. Rules.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I KNOW, RIGHT?

            Rules are for other people. Giving a fuck is most assuredly overrated.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Until I was 16, the furthest east I had ever been was Pendleton, Ore. I most definately grew up out west. And chili has beans, tomatoes, and ground beef. Texas chili, not so much, but that’s kind of a southeastern thing.

          • Sister the Resister!

            Until I was about that age, I had not been east of Salt Lake City. Then I went to Europe. Kind of a weird culture shock-ish experience.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Sort of same. I grew up in Kansas and then went off to the UK. Big culture shock, as you said.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            May I ask why? I’ve come the other way. UK to US. What were the biggest things?

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Yeesh, where to start? I guess of all the things, I was most horrified that they didn’t seem to have experienced the 1960s and 1970s in the same way we had in the US. I landed there in the late 1980s and the raging sexism still going on in the workplace was a complete shock. The pet names, being expected to fetch the drinks and food, being BANNED from wearing anything but skirts at work, and (most fun of all) being expected to sleep with the boss (didn’t happen). It was hell for a flaming libtart like myself.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            I went in the early 80s. Disappointed but gave me faith in the USA despite Reagan. My time in Denmark in the mid 90s was so different. And so welcome. It was a time of change, even for Scandihoovians. There are benefits to living in smaller countries but banding together in NATO and EU partnerships even though Denmark as a case in point, has eschewed some of those partnerships. We shall see out this all works out over the next several hundred years.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Went to Denmark in, huh, 1997 or so, I think. Lego. Biggest SGI installation in the world outside Boeing at the time.

            Fascinating.

            Expensive as shit for cars and booze is what I remember. That and breaking a multi-million dollar SGI machine and calling SGI themselves so I could fix it before they realized. Oh, and human waste as fertilizer. Interesting smells.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            The 80s sucked in the UK in that respect. Sorry to hear you went through it.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I probably would have broken the Rules if that happened to me. You are a stronger woman than I.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            That’s why I could never really understand the affinity over here for Benny Hill. Just a clever misogynist doofus.

          • Sister the Resister!

            My step-grandpa was from Liverpool – loved Benny Hill. I hated it, stupid and sexist thing that it was. Of course, he was the wannabe molester of my teen years.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Colorado chili, too, not just Texas. I never had chili with beans in it until I moved east of the Mississippi. The fact that my Granda and Grandma owned a cattle ranch might be the reason for that, though.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Looks terrific to me.

    • mml1996

      OMG WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DEPRESSED WITH MY BOWL OF NOODLES.

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        Noodles are good. We had noodles tonight, too. But now that I’ve had to set PL straight, there will definitely be Chili tomorrow!

        • mml1996

          These ain’t noodles. They’re the store-bought, 2 minute ones that I’m very ashamed of eating… :/

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Don’t be food-shamed. I’d eat them but my body won’t let me.

          • Sister the Resister!

            Sometimes I have microwave popcorn for dinner. We all have our moments.

          • mml1996

            Oh, that I’m familiar with.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            *sigh*

  • Nounverb911

    Eventually, Drumpf’s cabinet meetings will just turn into a version of this.

    http://all-that-is-interesting.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/kubrick-cinemagraphs-dr-strangelove-1.gif

    • Count Awesome

      What?!? No feces flinging?

    • Msgr_Moment

      What? Only ONE Russian observer?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, kids, time to unwind and get some rest so I have strength to fight another day. Good night!

    • TX Taco Truck Brigade

      Luv ya C!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Callyson!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Night Cally!

    • mml1996

      Good night Cally!

  • Also off to sleeps. Working tomorrow, so all kinds of excitement shall abound!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Dream of fun things.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Pleasant dreams!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Pickwick.

    • mml1996

      Good night PWK!

  • Jonny On Maui

    That’s it for me tonight. Things to do before bed. Have a good evening my friends.

    https://youtu.be/1km35jSBqaU

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Sleep well, Jonny.

    • TX Taco Truck Brigade

      Night jonny! Hope the new place is well…and you have electricity and stuff.

    • mml1996

      Good night Jonny!

    • Juan de Payaso

      Night brah!

    • Shan – Mildly Depraved

      Good night!

  • mml1996

    Thanks for the toilet-bowl drinker from the other thread, guys – my bro-in-law and I were laughing our asses off from the replies..

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Awesome. I had more fun reading the replies, though I must admit I melted like snowflakes when it was mean to me.

      Hahahahahahahahaha! No. I didn’t. What an ultra-maroon.

      • Sister the Resister!

        really reminded me of a toddler-done-wrong, same kind of tantrum, complete with repetition and lack of focus. Also, too, tantrum-y.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          My favorite was when it recommended RT because it’s not propaganda.

          • mml1996

            My favorite was when it said it wasn’t racist because it voted for OBAMA!

          • Sister the Resister!

            Yeah, that was a special, special moment.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Well, obvs, that was so it could say it wasn’t racist even though it voted for Trump.

        • Shan – Mildly Depraved

          I think it was TLMG trying a different attention-getting tactic.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Could be. As I said, the entertainment was in watching us. My, but we’re a witty group.

          • Sister the Resister!

            Yeah, that makes sense. The terminology was different, but it was the same kind of engagement. I’m not sure it/either of “them” quite gets that our replies are snark taunts; I think it really doesn’t register the comebacks.

          • mml1996

            You can’t really get empty-vessels to register much…

    • Sister the Resister!

      Yeah, there wasn’t much too him, but the comebacks were pretty entertaining. Wonkin’ at it’s bestest.

      • mml1996

        Wonkette is nothing if not for excellent comebacks.

        • Sister the Resister!

          Sometimes it’s the best way to get out all that GRRRRR from having to be nice to dumb nasty customers. I wasn’t up to it tonight (and maybe cuz I didn’t have any dumb nasty customers today), but I’ve noticed I am sometimes able to unleash my inner bitch and it feels GOOD! Too bad commenting is not allowed more often.

          • mml1996

            Unleashing your inner bitch – A standard Wonkette guideline.

          • Shan – Mildly Depraved

            Also I hear rage-baking works.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Only sweet, not savory. Except empenadas.

          • kev

            especially when combined with rage drinking.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I think it’s mandated.

  • WomanInTheResistance

    It’s been very pleasant, but that cheese won’t go and sell itself tomorrow. Good night!

  • Sister the Resister!

    Juanita Jean has a nice round up in her weekly “toons” post
    http://juanitajean.com/friday-toons-207/

    • TX Taco Truck Brigade

      Love JJ!

  • mml1996

    Okay why the hell is Joe Walsh not on meds again? Why is he making me agree with him?!

    • Mary Sandoras

      Deadbeat Dad Walsh says what?

    • Sister the Resister!

      Stopped clocks… Etc etc etc

      • mml1996

        Okay, he’s making too much sense –

        https://twitter.com/WalshFreedom/status/807661070491979776

        • yyyaz

          Right response, wrong reasons.

          • mml1996

            I’ll take what I can get, though.

          • yyyaz

            I hear ya. I’ll go back to fisticuffs from this gladiator bout any time now.

        • CripesAmighty

          Wha?

    • Stulexington

      It just shows how obvious it is, even the crazies are getting it.

  • Mary Sandoras

    I had no intertubz service for 1 1/2 days. The withdrawals were mighty. No Wonkette humor with my coffee. And I missed a troll to feast upon, so sad.

    • Sister the Resister!

      Welcome back to the clubhouse!

      • Mary Sandoras

        Thanks. I felt lonely without Wonkette comrades.

  • BadWolfGirl

    I’ve also too been off-line because I’m getting ready to move on Friday. The stress has been making me crazy/crazier. Which has, of course made my insomnia worse. I passed out before 11pm & woke at 2am, thus I missed your troll.

    Thank you guys for the witty snark!! Why do they come here & call us un-American? Have ‘Trix & Shy created a Wonkiverse in international webz space?

    Anywho, we really must work on attracting a better class of tourist :D

    Nimbus The Naughty One is giving me her feline death stare, so I’m heading back to bed.

    Sleep well Wonks, Wonkets & Wonkettes!!

    • mml1996

      I’m still laughing. That was one deluded troll we had for tea (its 7pm here!)

      Good night, BWG & Kid!

      • BadWolfGirl

        It truly was! And you were brilliant :)

        I could go for a cuppa right about now…but too much work.

        Cheers & have a lovely evening mml :) And BWK sends his greetings (he loves to hear your snark since you’re the same age)!

        • mml1996

          Aww, I’m glad to be of service :) *tips hat*

  • gaybymml96
    • Mary Sandoras

      “Genital acupuncture” FTW.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Good morning, Wonkettenam! Just back from Church of Toomush. Feel better, now….

  • Nounverb911

    Say this “Bundespräsidentenwiederholungswahlverschiebung” three times fast and you can be the next president of Austria.

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/807891487342133248

    • gaybymml96

      My head is spinning.

  • Nounverb911

    Boeing inks deal with Iran for $16.6B worth of jobs in the US and planes for Iran. Trump to deport Boeing Corporation 21 January 2017…..

    https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/807922612714270720

    • gaybymml96

      Sad. Iran’s carriers are in desperate need for new aircraft – and Republicans are very likely to say screw you to Boeing, and let Airbus take care of IR’s needs.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Go ahead Trump, tear up that nuclear agreement. I’m sure Washington and South Carolina will be more than happy to provide incentive so that people can stay on the clock and not build planes.

  • sw19womble

    Never mind the chilli – wait till the end of this clip for the ouchiest burn you will ever taste:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeRtXzgRuzw

    • Brits are the best at all out burns

      • sw19womble

        Tis true, I sometimes frighten the natives north of the border when I whip my bottle of acerbic acid out.
        Fortunately, Americans usually either can’t understand me, or think I’m Australian…. especially useful when I’m in sweary mode at sportsball matches.

        • Aussie? Quelle ‘orreur!

          • sw19womble

            Stupid floating transatlantic accent!

          • When i’m talking to people in line at TIFF and say i’m from London, i always get the quizzical head-tilt of “but you don’t have an accent…?”

          • Requin de la Résistance

            I thought British citizens were taught how to emulate a cockney accent at will. You know, to keep the tourists happy?

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_Moment

      Make Army Great Again?

      Make Annapolis Great Again?

  • Nounverb911

    Chris Christie has lowered the bar so much in governing New Jersey, that this putz wants to run for governor now.

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/807938996127105025

    • maybe Springsteen will actually want to be the Boss…

    • Msgr_Moment

      “Comedian” Joe Piscopo eyeing New Jersey governor’s race after campaigning with Donald Trump.

      FTFY

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        SNL really has been a factory for failed comedians-turned-Republican douchebags. I wonder if it was all the coke or something they put in the water.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What is it about Republicans and really bad dye jobs?

    • The Wanderer

      He has not aged well.

      At all.

  • Nounverb911

    Donnie’s little Trumplings panties are in a knot because New York hates them. Wittle Ewic demands that daddy deport city to Gitmo….

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a851bdebd6204a027a96f5ead08ccd284cb15ac097cd352c69ccce73c241451f.jpg

    http://nypost.com/2016/12/11/trumps-kids-now-face-rage-of-anti-trump-protesters/

    • Requin de la Résistance

      Yo, snowflakes! NY hated your dad before he was anointed dictator president elect. Now he’s a public figure, and we can ridicule him, and you, at will.

    • The Wanderer

      Love the headline, though.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I have one word for you, Pinkham. Posole. The best winter warmer food ever. I buy mine in bulk at a nearby Mexican supermarket, but a good recipe is always appreciated.

    • I made Posole, as always, for Thanksgiving again this year. It is the Meal of Holiday’s here at the Recalcitrant residence. Home made, slow cooked Posole (pozole) is the ever loving best.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Excellent choice! I actually know how to make it, it’s just that the posole they make at this market is better, and it’s so inexpensive, it’s just easier to get it there.

  • Logic of Color

    OT, Bristol breaks new ground and gets pregnant while actually married!
    But seriously congrats…
    https://www.yahoo.com/news/bristol-palin-announces-she-expecting-her-third-child-193454184.html

    • Nounverb911

      Mazel Tov, Bristol.
      /no snark

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Because we need more stupid people having tons of children? Sorry, I can’t be happy for her. Prove you have three functioning brain cells, Barstool, and maybe I’ll worry less that you’re going to rear the next generation of Fanta Hitler voters. (This vitriol is not aimed at you, LofC, of course! No shooting the messenger)

      • Logic of Color

        I see your point, but I think it’s more about being civil. She is a human and possibly a product of a weird environment. And who knows? The third one might turn out like me…the lone loud-mouth atheist liberal semi-activist in a family full of HARDCORE religious conservatives.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You know what’s weird? A couple of years ago, this news would warrant its own post on Wonkette and plenty of snark. And now? I have nothing left.

      Mazel tov, Bristol.

  • sw19womble

    https://twitter.com/SamWangPhD/status/807943268529041414

    Have a nice relaxing Sunday, everybody!

    • shaar dula

      same to you. I hope you are happy and your mom’s proud of you.

  • sw19womble