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warren
She was over your shit before you even started talking.

OK, kids, we know how you are. You like to have nice happy posts at the end of the day, and you like it when Sen. Elizabeth Warren yells at people. Well, goldurnit, she did some yellin’ on Tuesday! In case you didn’t hear, Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf got his ass dragged in front of the Senate Banking Committee, over the scammy “fake accounts” scandal what’s gotten Wells Fargo in big trouble mister recently. Do you need a quick primer on that?

Here, from the Los Angeles Times:

The outrageous scandal at Wells Fargo & Co., for which federal and local regulators hammered the bank for $185 million in fines and penalties earlier this month, speaks volumes about the decline of morality in corporate America. But the settlement leaves one burning question unanswered: Why does John G. Stumpf, the company’s chairman and CEO, still have a job? […]

The settlement stemmed from a scheme in which Wells Fargo bankers opened as many as 2 million fake accounts in the names of existing retail customers or nonexistent persons in efforts to meet unrealistic sales goals imposed from above. The bank says it fired 5,300 employees from 2011 through 2015, but it refuses to say how high up the discipline went. Plainly, most of the firings took place among the rank and file. […]

[T]here is no model of corporate management in which Stumpf can’t be considered responsible for what Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., labeled the “staggering fraud” underlying the settlement, or for the devastating blow to his company’s reputation. Carrie Tolstedt, the executive who led the division where the fakery occurred, reported directly to him. So he either knew about it, in which case he is complicit, or he didn’t know, which would demonstrate his inability to get his hands around activities at his own company. It’s hard to say which interpretation makes him look worse. Either way, he should have been cast out as part of the settlement — and the Wells Fargo board of directors should have followed him down the oubliette.

Again, Stumpf still has his job. Tolstedt is on her way into retirement with over $100 million in stock options, and probably candy canes and unicorns and as many ponies as she wants. If you feel we’ve set the scene for you, and you just want to watch Elizabeth Warren stomp balls for almost 18 minutes, please proceed to the video.

If you want more background, read the entire piece from the L.A. Times, check out this letter Sen. Warren wrote to Mr. Stumpf, and then do a little Googling on “cross-selling,” which refers to trying to get your customers to have as many different types of accounts with you as they can. There is normal cross-selling, when your bank says, “You are a very good checking account customer, would you like to open a high-yield savings account with us, or maybe a nice credit card?” And then there is an insane kind, where low-level Wells Fargo employees were reportedly pressured to sell EIGHT services to each customer, which led to the #scandal of opening millions of fake accounts to hit those sales goals.

Now that you have enough information — and really, Warren’s questions seem designed to help the layman watching at home understand what’s going on — you may watch Elizabeth Warren STOMP SOME FUCKING WALL STREET BANKSTER BALLS:

You’re welcome.

[Los Angeles Times / Elizabeth Warren on Tweeter]

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  • TJ Barke

    Needz moar walls and blindfolds.

  • JParkerSD46

    I love it when she take “No” for an answer.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    She would look good in black leather.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’ve been known to read books bound in leather.

    • cousin itt

      Patent leather, but who am I to ask, I merely accept.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Patent pending leather?

        • cousin itt

          So long as I end up with rawhide.

    • Tony Alexander

      a man can only dream!

    • FeloniousMonk

      Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart.

  • Oneofthebobs

    I think he has an owie on his butt to match that hand now.

  • cousin itt

    In Soviet Russia, bank open you.

    Nyet, eez corporate Amerika.

    • mtn_philosoph

      In Putin’s Russia, “closing your account” is euphemism.

  • Joe Beese

    Man, you didn’t even include the sickest burn!

    OK, so you haven’t resigned, you haven’t returned a single nickel of your personal earnings, you haven’t fired a single senior executive. Instead evidently your definition of “accountable” is to push the blame to your low-level employees who don’t have the money for a fancy PR firm to defend themselves. It’s gutless leadership.

    • willi0000000

      that’s vanilla from Senator Warren.

  • Mavenmaven

    I wish we could watch her debate Trump.

  • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

    A powerful, influential woman stomping on all the balls?

    ILLUMINATI WITCH!

    • Joe Beese

      Yes! Work the groin!

    • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

      Manocide to the max.

    • anna rampage

      It’s too bad Liz doesn’t seem like the type of woman to wear 4″ stiletto heals, as those stomping on balls would hurt like a bitch

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        I would hate to have her sensible, no-nonsense shoe jammed up my behind!

        • anna rampage

          I don’t know, given enough J-lube, the right ambiance, and good mood music, I might just be into that… ;)

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Read that as “illuminati watch,” and instantly wanted one.

      • Deplorable Ron

        They keep perfect time, but nobody can tell you’re wearing one.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Except for Beyonce. She knows you’re wearing one.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Daphne Blake has been working out.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Lance out. Have a good night everybody.

    • Shannanigans

      Bye!

    • Tony Alexander

      peace out!

  • limberrat

    But remember, the invisible hand of the free market will totally root out corruption and we dont need the government. **eyeroll**

  • Tony Alexander

    ladies and gents, the official, lize warren, national anthem:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoLRZUgFTy8

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    What is up with assholes having “umpf”-sounding names?

  • HanBarbara

    I don’t think she accepted a lot of “dog ate my homework” type excuses when she was teaching.

    • Tony Alexander

      student: dog ate my homework

      lw: i can assume then that if you don’t show up with your homework tomorrow, the dog has eaten you also?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Also, please no more letters from your dog’s PR firm.

  • memzilla

    “But Senator Warren, this is exactly how a libertarian paradise works!”

  • ibwilliamsi

    I worked for First Interstate until they were bought out by WF. I can personally attest to the pressure they put on employees to cross sell. We knew it before the ink was dry on the deed. I got out of there ASAP. I was already their highest cross seller in the branch, and I was told I could start the new system by doubling my sales the next month. I was a TELLER – not a customer service rep, for crying out loud!

    • cousin itt

      A teller, not a seller, be.

      • ibwilliamsi

        Well, after that I was neither a teller nor a seller be. ;)

    • JCfromNC

      My wife was in the operations center for Wachovia just before their buyout by WF, and everyone that could find a new job did as soon as the news broke. I have no idea how much turnover there was in the branches, but I heard it was not insignificant.

  • Señor Skwerl

    Meanwhile Trump is wondering how he could pull off such a scam.

    • Creepoman

      With an assist from Yertle, whose wife, Elaine Chao, just happens to be on Wells Fargo’s board of directors. Funny, but the human turtleneck sweater is coinkidinkly introducing a bill to roll back the consumer protection hammer that Liz just brought down Stumpf’s testicles.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “If you’re not going to let me lie my ass off, why am I even here?”
    — John Stumpf

  • ViveLaDeplorables

    As someone who spent nearly a decade in retail banking being whipped to cross sell and penalized and humiliated when I did not: Ms. Warren, I salute you, and I love you.

    • Painter of Deplorables

      I went through it too for about the same amount of time. I totally agree with you on Ms. Warren.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Can I interest you in some other Democratic Senators you might like to salute?

      We have a great deal on Al Franken, Bernie Sanders is a popular favorite, and ooh, just today Harry Reid insulted Trump.

      PS If you salute at least one more, I’ll make my quota for today and still have a job tomorrow.

      :-)

      • ViveLaDeplorables

        ISWYDT.

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      And I might add, our “incentive” back then was a pizza party. At the bank. After hours.

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        Nothing better than staying after hours at a job you hate to eat shitty pizza and look forward to finally escaping so you can cry the whole way home. Good times!

        • anna rampage

          That’s why it’s always good to keep a flask of good rye nearby…

          If your off the clock, they cannot fire you for taking a bathroom break and taking a nip or two, or three

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            I need a flask. I bought one for my 2 best friends. Should have thrown in one for me, then had “Bad Motherfucker” etched on it.

          • TJ Barke

            Who do you think you are? Quentin Tarantino?

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            Fah Q! ;)

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Wouldn’t it be Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) with such a flask?
            “Say what again. I dare ya. Say what again.”

          • Well, Quentin kept the Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill

          • TJ Barke

            Fun fact: That was actually Tarantino’s personal wallet.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Way cool. And makes perfect sense. I’m just surprised it doesn’t have a chain on it.

          • Antonin Dvorak
          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            That’s nice! I like shots. My friends prefer to swig out of theirs like common trash. ;)

          • formerChild

            So, how do your two best friends feel about sharing that flask?

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            They don’t mind. They ARE common trash, after all. ;)

          • I Only Like Cats

            Get a WTNV one that says, “If you see something, say nothing, then drink to forget”.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            True story: Years ago-due to my fondness for that Samuel L. Jackson line- my best friend gave me a leather wallet for Christmas with “Bad Motherfucker” stitched on it. Unfortunately, I unknowingly opened it in front of my mother! “Oh, let me see what _____ gave you for Christmas!” Egads!!

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            Haha! Someone got a lump of coal in their stocking that year!

          • Celtic_GnomePlorable

            I have a belt buckle flask. The base has a magnet in it to hold the thing in place.

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            You are frickin’ awesome!

      • Painter of Deplorables

        Occasionally we got to wear jeans on Friday so there’s that.

        • Celtic_GnomePlorable

          My office required you to donate money to Operation Feed in order to wear jeans on Friday.

  • memzilla

    How we need to see The Hillzanator take some hot sauce out of her purse and slather it onto these stomped-on bankster balls!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Sure eight rhymes with great, but nine is really fine, and fifty is super nifty.”
    –Wells Fargo Sales Target Team

  • ViveLaDeplorables

    Totally hot guy behind Liz can barely keep a straight face.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Wow, she comes right out and tells him he should be in jail. Awesome.

  • Lulu Mac

    I haz a lady boner…

  • ViveLaDeplorables

    I don’t want to prejudice the board??!!!11!! Is this guy fucking insane?

  • cousin itt

    The bank says it fired 5,300 employees from 2011 through 2015, but it refuses to say how high up the discipline went.

    Just a shot in the dark here but, small intestine?

  • shastakoala

    You can always bank on Liz doing the right thing.

    • cousin itt

      I would write her a blank check. Of my heart.

  • anna rampage

    I love Liz & Jeff Merkly also kicked some serious ass today in that committee….

  • Astraea

    Lizzie Warren took a mic, gave the banker 40 spanks.

    • And when she had him on the floor, then she gave him 40 more

      • Tony Alexander
        • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

          Fah Q!

          • TJ Barke

            Is that Ben Affleck?

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            Have you never seen Dazed and Confused?? It IS Ben Affleck!

          • TJ Barke

            Nope.

          • MynameisBlarney

            GOWATCHITNAO!

          • TJ Barke

            Don’t tell me what to do.

          • (((cynmac)))

            You won’t regret it. Linklater’s best.

          • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

            Unacceptable.

          • TJ Barke

            Did I ask for your input?

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Riley Whodat Venable

            The Stoned Age is better.

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            I haven’t seen that. Thanks!

          • anna rampage

            One of my favorite Afflack movies, along with Dogma

          • Naked Alan Rickman!

          • anna rampage

            And that too!

          • anna rampage

            Not to mention, Buddy Jesus

          • And Geogre Carlin as the Bishop

          • Jonny On Maui

            Alanis as god!

          • anna rampage

            And who can forget the succulent & devine Salma Hayek?

  • Jonny On Maui

    After that I need 20 minutes and a cigarette…

  • Tony Alexander

    now that’s porn i can fap to!

  • Astraea

    “When you are a corporation, that means it can’t be a scam.” -CEO

    • Be Gin

      Nixon’s ghost walking the ramparts of corporate America.

  • willi0000000

    now will the rest of you in all those other states find and elect your own Elizabeth Warrens?

    • anna rampage

      That’s the funny thing about all the Bernie or Bust folks….

      The president doesn’t make that much of a difference, what this country really needs is a army of Warrens, Sanderss, Lewis’s, and Merkelys voted into congress

      • TJ Barke

        Well, it’s the idea of the figurehead, who would inspire more people to be Bernie’s or Warren’s or what have yous.

    • Kern

      PA might if we manage to elect Katie McGinty. She said this a few days ago:

      “Specifically, I’ll push for three things. When banks rob people, the bank bosses need to help to account for the crimes, including facing potential jail time. Slapping the bank itself on the wrist just doesn’t cut it.”

      http://katiemcginty.com/mcginty-proposes-new-wall-street-reforms-calls-pat-toomey-stop-attacks-cfpb/

  • Astraea

    If you ask a 4 year old what their punishment should be for breaking a rule and they’d probably be tougher on themselves than Wall Street.

  • pragmatist3

    Fox will describe her as “shrieking hysterically” in 3-2-1-

  • I Only Like Cats

    I love how she breaks in on his lies and pretends they don’t happen. Hillary, I know you can do this on Monday. I believe in you.

  • DainBramage

    Maybe it’s already happened, but I’d love to see her tear into the Volkswagen guys. I have one of their fraudulent diesel Jettas.

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    She could pave a driveway with the balls she’s cut off these fuckers, and I hope she has.

    • anna rampage

      Or make a really cool ceremonial necklace that she can wear the next time she’s in congress asking questions of a fraudulent banker…

  • Callyson

    This former Wells Fargo Bank customer who got ripped off by these greedy bastards approves this message. Go Elizabeth!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Speaking of which, why do I have eight Wonkette Visa cards?

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      Why do mine decline when I try to buy pants??

      • anna rampage

        My card allowed me to buy pants today, though they are a heavy weight, brushed silk that feels oh so sexy when on….

        When I come to think of it, they really aren’t pants, but rather a mildly exotic experience…

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Because you’re trying to buy pants with a Wonkette card, and that triggers a fraud alert. Try buying a box of dildos to send to right-wing occupiers, or a case of Elizabeth Warrenovna mugs.

      • Cock Blockula

        Try buying assless chaps. Your transaction should go through…

        • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

          Great tip, and love your name!

    • Boscoe

      Because you couldn’t choose just one pic of Wonkababby to put on it?

    • Doug Langley

      Ooh, sounds like a problem. You should try our Consolidated Credit Relief plan with the E-Z Payment System. Operators are standing by!

      • anna rampage

        Speaking of which, if anyone gets called from a “company” called ‘credit card services’ it a total scam and they are out to steal your identity.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          However, if you get called from a company called “Gayer Than Thou Industries,” it is totes legit, and you should share all of your personal and financial information.

          • Deplorable Ron

            That was you? I must remember to edit my call-blocking list.

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      Because you’re an easy mark?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        By odd coincidence, “an easy mark” is the tagline on my Grindr profile.

    • Painter of Deplorables

      Did you collect all 8 designs? My favorites are the dentata panties and Trump’s head (with votes). The look on cashiers’ faces when I whip one out is priceless.

  • Boscoe

    So… $185 MILLION? What’s that, like 0.000001% of this QUARTER’s profits? That ain’t a “penalty”, that’s a transaction fee. >:(

    • TJ Barke

      Like I said. Needs moar walls and blindfolds.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        And cigarettes.

        • TJ Barke

          Those’re dangerous…

    • Astraea

      Price of doing business.

  • I’ve got some mighty fine ideas about how we can fix these shenanigans. Unfortunately, none of them are acceptable under the commenting rules. Use your imagination.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    “You should resign. You should give back the money that you took while this scam was going on, and you should be criminally investigated by both the Department of Justice and the Securities and Exchange Commission.”

    From God’s Elizabeth’s mouth to Loretta’s ears.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thank you Evan. I always love watching Ms. Warren take folks down. She is a tenured professor at Harvard Law. She has no f—s to give.

    Also, too. I’m glad you and Lula are feeling better.

  • That was 20 minutes of pure beauty

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    God I love this woman.

  • Callyson

    Have you returned one nickel of the millions of dollars that you were paid while this scam was going on?</blockquote

  • gene108

    None of this would happen, if banks could do away with branches and just force everybody to conduct business on-line or through calling 800-numbers. Banks are not fond of branches. Big brick and mortar structures with utility costs, janitorial costs and most icky of all paying actual people to interact with customers.

    We’re forced to endure this debauchery because old people still want to face-to-face interaction with other human beings, while conducting business.

    But in the near future, as we raise generations of children who interact with screens – computers, tablets, phones, etc. – we’ll do away with pesky human interaction, which cuts into profits.

    We’re starting down this path with self-driving cars. We can move to restaurants and just have people seated and order from a touch screen, and a bus-boy brings the meal to the table, until we perfect drone technology and then drones will be doing it.

    And then we perfect artificial intelligence. The machines become self-aware. And we become enslaved to our robot overlords.

    But for a few years, we’d have returned ridiculous profits to corporate shareholders, so it will be all worth it, as we wait to be processed in the robot controlled camps.

    • TJ Barke

      Robots don’t need camps. They’ll just execute us on the spot.

      • gene108

        I think they’ll still need us. Just because you are a self-aware being, does not mean you don’t need tools or domesticated animals to help get things done.

        • TJ Barke

          They just need some of us to retool some factories, then we’re no longer of use.

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      Yep. When I started in banking 35 years ago, banks provided stable employment to many people, in towns large and small. The pay wasn’t high but the benefits, hours, and job security were great. You could succeed with a high school education, and expect to retire with a decent pension after 30 years.All gone now, along with other industries that used to give the middle class a fighting chance.Thanks, One Percenters.

    • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

      Isn’t this election, and the state of this country bleak enough?
      Lighten up, Francis!:)

  • ViveLaDeplorables

  • Picabo

    You are an old like me if you appreciate this.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Pitchforks for sale! Reasonable prices, get your pitchfork and half off torches!

  • FauxAntocles

    How is Wells-Fargo not in jail?

    • Doug Langley

      I’m guessing they own the jails.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Or they own the politicians.

    • Beacuse we don’t have a system that sends even “fall guy” executives to jail

    • anna rampage

      Plausible deniability, along with an army of lawyers.

    • gene108

      Corporations are incorporeal eternal people, who lacking a physical body cannot be jailed but can perform many actions on the material plain, since they are people, such as lobby for laws to be passed, influence elections, etc.

      • TJ Barke

        Ruin air and drinking water…

        • sw19tacotruck

          “deregulate” – please use the politically correct term, or you will hurt the corporate entity’s feelings.

    • Well, they’re rich and white…

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    Really, Wells Fargo didn’t know about this. They were as stumpfed as anyone.

    I’ll show myself out now.

  • cousin itt

    Carrie Tolstedt, the executive who led the division where the fakery occurred,

  • Vienna Woods

    OT but over the next two days my sisters and I are going to break my mother’s heart. I got the call today that they have a private room for her in our #1 on the list nursing home. Thursday at 10 she is going in. She doesn’t know it yet. Sadly, she doesn’t know much anymore. 91 today, and she spent most of last night searching for her babies in my sister’s drawers. What she does know is that she wants to stay where she is, but we just can’t take care of her anymore. So, her heart will break, and so will ours.

    I took the tequila bottle out of her cabinet today. It’s in my freezer now. I will need it.

    • TJ Barke

      That’s grim. Dementia is a terrible thing.

      • Vienna Woods

        She used to live for politics,loved following US elections. She spent the entire summer of 1974 watching the Watergate hearings. She doesn’t even know who is running this time around. It’s been a very hard year.

        • OddMan

          My mom was the same, she loved politics, and watching baseball and football games.
          My mom could remember stories from her past, but had very little short term memory. One of my favorite things to do was sit and get her to tell me stories from her childhood. She would brighten up and tell me about some event that took place on a farm in Lubbock 80 years ago.
          Good luck and stay strong.

          • Vienna Woods

            Thank you.

    • Jonny On Maui

      My heart goes out to you Vienna. ::HUGS::

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks. Luckily we have the four of us girls to do this together. And my sons, whom she adores, are really being helpful, too.

    • Awww…huge hugs. We got my grandma to agree to go into a retirement home about 2 years ago. Not quite the same situation, but she wasn’t looking after herself after my grandpa died. Best thing we’ve done for her.

      • Vienna Woods

        I know that it is the right thing for her. They have programs that will help her in what’s left of her life. But the getting her in there- it will be bad.

        • One of my grandma’s neighbours flipped out about the move in front of my grandma, it nearly caused her to change her mind (after about 6 months of convincing by my mom and one of my uncles). I am now jealous of her social life

          • Vienna Woods

            Oh, I know! And she doesn’t see anyone while living with my sister. She loved going to Legion bingo and making friends- it will be very positive for her.

          • And there are several very good places in Middlesex-Elgin as well. And the CCAC is surprisingly helpful about it

          • Vienna Woods

            She’s going to Valleyview! #1 on our list, with a private room.

          • Nice! I know many of my organization’s clients have that down on their lists as well

    • Astraea

      I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s never easy for anyone but you know you’re doing the right thing.

      • Vienna Woods

        When they had to put her mother-in-law (FROM HELL) in a home, she told us to not hesitate to do the same if it was necessary. I’m clinging to that.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Me and my sis went through something similar with our mom.
      I know what you’re going through, and I’m sorry. But it IS the right thing to do.

      • Vienna Woods

        We’ve really been lucky. Once we got the stubborn sister on board, we’ve gone from first meeting to placement in 5 weeks.

    • Painter of Deplorables

      No one prepares you for taking care of aging parents. It’s one of the toughest things a person can do. I feel for you. Just know that your mother is lucky that she still has all of you in her life. She might not acknowledge this but it’s true. We are here for you. *hugs*

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks! We’ll get there.

    • anna rampage

      Im so sorry as that is a rough time to be going through.

      I hope you mom adapts as well as mine did when she got to the point of needing an assisted living facility.

      There are a lot of great resources for information out there to help you during this transition.

      If you haven’t already done so, see if there is an Alzheimer’s association in your area. They were an invaluable resource help to us with my mom.

      Big hugs to you and your family!

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks. One of my sisters has been talking to the Altzheimer’s Society for the past year.

        • anna rampage

          That’s really good, they helped us out so much it’s really unbelievable.

          My fingers are crossed that your mom easily adapts to her new home.

          • Vienna Woods

            Thanks. I just hope she doesn’t miss her cats too much. That’s going to be the hardest part.

          • anna rampage

            As cheesy as this sounds, plush stuffed animals can be a sort of decent substitute…

          • Vienna Woods

            She does have a stuffed bear- thanks for reminding me!

          • OddMan

            Some facilities have a visiting animal program. You might check on that. My mom always had dogs and the place she went had a person come by with a doggy for a visit once a week.

          • Vienna Woods

            She can have a cat visit. There’s only one that will tolerate traveling but that should be a great help.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            stuffed animals or even porcelain statues and whatnot make a difference- it’s all about stimulating their minds, as well as making them feel comfortable

    • Callyson

      Sorry to hear this, honey…

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks!

        • Shannondtaber

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !os624f:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !os624f:
          ➽➽
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          • Vienna Woods

            Really? Really? Fuck you and the land Rover you ride in on.

    • My Oma ended up being very happy when she had to be put into a home, actually met someone from her home town in Friesland (Sneek) and she enjoyed the company a lot. I hope your mom’s experience ends up being as good.

      • Vienna Woods

        Sadly, she’s past even being sure where her hometown is. But she does like talking to people, even if she doesn’t make a lot of sense. We’re hoping the socialization helps her.

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      So sorry to hear this. It sounds like you all are a lovely, loving family. You are doing the right thing, hard though it is. All the best, sweetie.

    • Suse

      I’m so sorry. Hugs to your mom, your sisters, and you. These situations with elderly parents are terribly sad for all. Surround her with with as many familiar things as she can have with her. That helps a bit. :-(

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you. We have to pack tomorrow for her, with her sitting right there watching cable news. She won’t even notice. I’m going to take all of the MANY framed pictures of us and grandkids and put them in an album for her.

        • Suse

          That will help a lot.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m so sorry. I wish both you and your mom many hugs, I hope she adjusts well.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      FWIW we just went through this with my mom a couple months ago. You might be surprised what she already knows or at least expects. When we had ‘the talk’ she admitted that she knew it was coming and needed to be done. She’s still adjusting and gripes and grouses about stuff too often, but she’s starting to settle in. I also must say, as hard as it is to do it, if it’s the right thing then you have to be strong. She is never going to ‘get better’ so to speak, but we’ve definitely seen an improvement getting her out of her house where she was alone far too often and into a more structured environment with people her own age and activities that help stimulate her mind.

      • Vienna Woods

        That is exactly what we are hoping for- the professionals know how to help her be the best that she can, AND feed her properly too. She’s been quite stubborn about her food, and her version of gluten free/vegetarian is not the healthiest, but she refuses to listen to us.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          eating right is a big issue with the elderly. My mother’s doctor told me straight up to have her eat whatever she wants because she needs the calories- find her favorite ice cream or other dessert and make sure she has plenty of it (plus, there’s the supplement shakes- Costco has one that’s really affordable and quite tasty) . My mom whines about the food at the place, but part of that is stubbornness because she wants to cling to the illusion of her independence (she talks about going grocery shopping in a facility that gives her all her meals and snacks and isn’t about to let her near their kitchen)

          • Vienna Woods

            This is exactly what mum is going to be like, I’m sure.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            It’ll suck, trust me. But stay strong and make sure you spread out the work amongst all the siblings so none of you get burned out

          • Vienna Woods

            I have already told them we need to set up a visiting rotation- one daughter a day, every day.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            at least at first- but you may not be able to keep it up and it’s important that you don’t guilt trip yourself over it, or any of the other things that will go through your mind late at night. Do what you can, the more the better, but don’t beat yourself up.

          • Painter of Deplorables

            Listen to Zippy.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I speak from experience- I’m a champ at beating myself up with “should haves”. I sometimes have to remind myself that I’m only human and stop guilt tripping myself over things that I can’t control

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I can give you a run for your money.

          • OddMan

            Zippy, thanks for saying all the things I would have, my experience was very much the same. Good advice.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Truly listen to Zippy. Guilt is going to be an unwelcome headguest regardless. I know it can’t be ignored, but that doesn’t grant the feeling validity.

        • Painter of Deplorables

          My mom eventually took to eating nothing but hard-boiled eggs and canned salmon. And nothing we could say or do would change her mind either.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      This is the worst part about being suddenly single, I’ll get to do this on my own. Dad is 68 and mom is 64. I am not looking forward to this at all.
      My sincere condolences to you.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks. And don’t worry- you’ve got a good long time before it should be a problem. Heck, my two older sisters are basically the age of your parents.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          my mom is 85

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          I wish. Dad smoked a carton a week for about 25 years, and mom is on such serious bloodthinners, she can’t eat anything green.

          • Spotts1701

            Mom’s okay, but Dad’s struggling since his stroke a few years back. He tries, but sometimes I see him and feel a profound sadness that his grandson (my nephew) won’t know the man he was before that.

      • Painter of Deplorables

        Even though this is a sad subject I had to giggle when you gave the ages of your parents. Half of the Wonketariat are probably in this age range. (Myself included.) In 30 years you and Daisy will be trying to decipher our ramblings while we shake our canes at you.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          GET OFF OUR LAWNS!!!

        • I Only Like Cats

          Do you guys just expect my mind is already so old I’ll have to go in early?

          • Jonny On Maui

            You? Nah. You’re ageless…

          • I Only Like Cats

            I just think it’s really weird I’m somehow never included in people’s posts about young’uns and I feel like I should be worried.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’m unclear as to why you feel you should be worried. I’m not doubting or dismissing the feeling. Feelings are. Are you worried that you come across as more mature than your timeline?

          • I Only Like Cats

            Yes, let’s go with that.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Okay. You’re gonna have to put another nickel in the slot and press the button again if you want to play more…

          • Painter of Deplorables

            I’m so sorry – I had a personal senior moment for not picking up on you being one of those whippersnappers. Now get off my lawn. ;)

      • jowgajen

        Both my parents decided to up and die young. Dad was 64, and mom was 62. It’s not better. I know it will suck at times to support them, but please please try and remember how blessed you are to still have them.

        • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

          My dad died when he was only 52, but my mom is 81, and still going strong.
          I try to remember how lucky I am, (especially when she’s driving me crazy).

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Oof. Done that once, will do it again soon. Pick up another bottle of tequila. Trust me.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks! Excellent advice!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Done it twice. It is not fun. Not one bit. You have my sincere support. As an 80-yr-old I know it may all-too-soon happen to me, and perhaps to thee. How to best prepare?

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you. I’ve started sort-of counting down- at 56, how many years do I have left in my beautiful house in the middle of the country? 30, I hope, but still, it’s a sobering thing to calculate.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          After six houses in several states we (Mrs. Dudley and I) decided to take that step and move into a retirement community. We are among the younger ones here. We wanted to get set so that our kids wouldn’t have to worry about “where to put the folks.” They’d probably have chosen the nearest dumpster. We wanted to preempt so that we would have a quality dumpster.

    • Spotts1701

      Your heart will break, you will cry, you will numb the pain, then you will soldier on because you are strong. And we’re going to be right there, keeping you in our hearts, supporting you from afar.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you so much. 2 shots of tequila so far…

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      it is nice, how much support there is here

      • Jonny On Maui

        It’s a lifesaver. Really!

      • Vienna Woods

        Mr VW is most impressed.

    • DisarrayAlways

      This is such a hard decision. Your mother is fortunate to have caring children, and to be able to afford a private room in a nursing home. One of my cousins had to put her mother, who had dementia and difficulty walking, into a nursing home and my aunt loved it! I hope this will be true for your mother. I also have a couple of (much older) friends who had no choice but to go into assisted living and they also realized it was one of the best decisions they ever made. Good luck to your family.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you. We hope that she will come to love the company. She gets so little now.

        • SadDemInTex

          You are definitely doing right by your mom. My darling step-mom was in a wonderful facility. The people who worked there were wonderful.

    • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

      *Bigly hugs*. So sorry to hear this, and for all of you to have to go through this, especially your mother :(

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you. The saddest thing is that 10 years ago when she watched her brother and his wife go through this, she told me that she feared this more than anything. And now, of course, she says that there’s nothing wrong with her, but sometimes we can see the fear.

    • Manocide: The Vagenda of Fate

      My grandmother lived her last years in long term care. Throughout my career, some of the nurses I worked with were only there until they could get a better job, but more than a few were there because it was their calling to care for the aged. I worked in geriatric care because I was awed by the positive impact the nursing staff who cared for my grandma had on her world. By the end, she loved them more than she loved me, and they deserved it.

      Anyhoo, I hope you won’t be too hard on yourself. Let this be a good thing, letting others take care of her frees you up to have time to care for her. She will make friends, even if she isn’t always oriented and interacting with a variety of faces each day while still having a routine can be both enriching and comforting.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you. Long ago I worked as an untrained nursing aid in a group home for psychiatric out-patients, many of whom were elderly. I did not have the temperament for being called a fucking whore by the wife of a man whose catheter I was changing. I have nothing but respect for those who can do that job.

        • Manocide: The Vagenda of Fate

          Best name I was ever called was “you bitch, you bitch, you CANDY bitch!”. I’m still not sure what that means, but decades later I can still hear it in my head and smile.

    • weejee

      Big hug. Had to do that with me mum some years back, and my sister this past spring. Both gone now. It’s truly not easy, so like Zippy mentioned, share the burdens with your sibs.

      Also and too, for any smoking Wonkers – quit now. Quit before you have to go on oxygen. We love ya, but quit. My sister’s condition was part COPD from puffing right up to when the O2 tanks showed-up.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you. I’ve been telling Mr VW to quit for 29 years now… no success yet.

    • Shibusa

      I’m sorry. My own dear Dad needs to go into a nursing home but none of us can pull the trigger, for all the fears that you can imagine, and have imagined. Good luck

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you. We really dread it but at the same time welcome it. She simply is not safe at home any more. But that won’t make it any easier.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      My condolences. I went through this last year with my mom’s husband. He did not go gently into that good night….hardest year of my life. My mother is 92 and still kicking asses and taking names….I am grateful for that every waking moment. I hope things go as well as they possibly can.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks. I think what’s been hardest for my mother as she’s declined is that her good friend 4 years older than her has stayed in much better shape- still able to drive, still sharp as a tack. She’s just assumed that if Barb can do it, so can she.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          That same dynamic was an issue in my own experience. My mom’s husband is 9 years younger than him. When he began to deteriorate mentally-though he bitterly denied he had any problems-he began to resent my mother horribly for the fact that she remained capable and clear-headed. It got so bad that we finally had to move her out of the house first, then figure out how to deal with his situation. As Zippy said below, it requires making extremely hard decisions and being resolute in them. No one thanks you for it. Good luck.

    • OddMan

      I had to do that with my mom some years ago. She was in the same shape. It was hard the first couple of weeks but she adjusted. You might try to take as much as you can from her old home to decorate her new home. Some photographs, her favorite chair and dresser are what we took.

      My mom finally adjusted and she started going to Bingo and other social events the NH had. She started eating better, (she really liked breakfast) and gained weight.

      My heart goes out to you, your husband, and your sisters. This is one of life’s hardest decisions and you are lucky you have family to share the load.

      Damn onions.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you. Those are all good ideas.

  • Painter of Deplorables

    You know what’s sad? Banks used to be a decent place to work. The pay wasn’t grand but the benefits were second to none and the hours were decent. It was also one of the few places where a person without a college degree could work their way up the ladder from teller to bank president.

    Then came the sales culture and suddenly it was all about the numbers, stretching the work day, cutting back on holidays, working on Saturdays and pushing desperate or dishonest employees to commit fraud. Corporate greed at it’s finest.

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      LOL. I just entered the same comment down-thread, almost exactly. It really is sad, what they’ve done.

      • Painter of Deplorables

        I loved working for Norwest. When they merged with Wells it all changed for the worse.

        • Cock Blockula

          Hahaha! I used to work for Wells back in the 80s when it was a sober and serious bank. My ex-colleagues all complained that Wells went to the dark side after the Norwest merger in ’98.

    • sw19tacotruck

      I worked in a bank for a year after I left school/college. At the front end of the business, but yeah, there was no sales pressure with customers and everyone was great.

  • Jesus Christ when that woman gets on a roll I get like a Carlos Danger selfie over here!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Ryan Denniston

    Came to mind for some odd reason.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5EE42So7I

  • cheetojeebus

    The fucking saddest part is that this will be the closest he comes to any justice.

  • Callyson

    Just got to listen to the whole thing. God, I love her…

  • mancitytacotrucks

    This right here is why I’m glad she’s not running for president.

  • sadboy

    This is Warren’s shining moment. This kind of crap would never have seen the light of day had it not been for the CFPB, which she pushed very hard to create. Hopefully, this won’t be the last one, because if Wells Fargo was getting away with it, at least a dozen other banks have been doing it too.

  • Jamoche

    On the “nice happy things” side – https://youtu.be/idKxCMsS3FQ

  • Bill Slider

    I’ll watch it later as 18 minutes sounds right for healthy foreplay. Watching Elizabeth Warren clean some corporate CEO’s balls is more stimulating than porn. Besides, if the CEO ends up getting fired from Wells Fargo, the largest home mortgage lender, I imagine his golden parachute is likely $200 million at least. Not even Wonkette allegedly hands anyone that kind of money when their services are no longer desired.

    • Be Gin

      It is 18 minutes of not-to-be-missed BLISSORAMA!

      That woman knows how to cook!

    • jowgajen

      He is also chairman of the board. There will be no firing. Charges are our only hope.

  • CJTX

    If Drumpf = Trump, does Strumpf = Trump? Stump?

    • Callyson

      Tramp Stamp.

    • TJ Barke

      It all adds up to chump.

  • Suse

    My Dog, but she is awesome sauce!

    • The Wanderer

      She is awesome, with awesome sauce and a whole bag of awesome sprinkles!

  • Suse

    Will this be the last story of today? I don’t know, but I’m going to leave this here because we need some encouragement about Drumpf losing bigly (at least I do). http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/upshot/presidential-polls-forecast.html?_r=0

    • I Only Like Cats

      I thought 538 was the definitive election forecast and it seems just about even there.

      • Suse

        I thought so, too, but I’ll take any ray of sunshine at this point. I can’t even go there in my mind as to how horrible things will be if he’s elected.

      • hendenburg2

        They have different methodologies and algorithms. The Times’ is newer than 538 so its track record has not yet been quite as established.

        • I Only Like Cats

          I pray they are right and we are the 3/4, not the one sad universe where Trump is in and the world ends.

        • 538 is poll of polls and the spread today is 56 – 43. That’s pretty wide.

          • (((Gosala the Deplorable)))

            No, it’s not. Ask anyone who misspent their youth with tabletop role playing games.

            56/43 is terrifying.

            Look at it another way. 538 had Clinton up in the polls by only a little more than 1%, well within the margin of error.

          • now my memory is that nate’s charts in 2012 were often MUCH closer than 56-43 (not that i wasn’t terrified – i’m always terrified). like 51-49 close. and certainly the changes since summer are scary (but again i remember this narrowing from both ’08 and ’12). but i was moderately relieved at 56-43 after hearing 2 weeks of relentless negative poll coverage.

            that being said, we taking our Chi asses to both WI and IN to campaign in the next couple weeks.

    • georgiaburning

      I needed that. My cousin in Toronto sympathizes, but won’t let me stay for four years

      • I Only Like Cats

        The advantages of dating a Canadian.

        • georgiaburning

          too late for me there, though I do have a Canadian great-grandfather who died at Passchendaele (WW 1)

  • SnarkOff

    We need to stop regulating the banks. That will solve all of America’s problems. Trump 2016!

  • hendenburg2

    Here’s a funny one about Idiot Paul Ryan (and an aide’s passive aggressive retort)…

    http://theslot.jezebel.com/a-short-story-about-paul-ryan-not-recognizing-his-co-wo-1786859756

    • Jonny On Maui

      The words, “Oblivious to even the nose on his face” come to mind…

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      he was just being nice and not looking at her chest

    • Callyson
      • hendenburg2

        My favorite part is either the aide’s quip, or the fact that Clark decided to become more vocal about him being a dick

    • Panika MCD

      to be fair, there are 435 of ’em. but, then again, it’s not my job to know ’em all.

  • Basket of Vagendas

    Washington Post non-fiction reviewer: the Clinton/Kaine position book is deplorable because it just talks and talks and talks about their position on issues, which are already on her website, and they’re trying to fix stuff, which is unreasonable.

    Trump’s books, on the other hand, he finds kind of amusing and worthy of respect (“Even if your dreams aren’t meant to be, Trump’s are, because his dream is the American dream.”).

    • anna rampage

      Not to mention Trumps not sorry that there are poor people in this country, because a he’s work really really hard scamming everyone around him for all of the tacky, gold, electroplated crap that he surrounds himself with…

    • Astraea

      “So it’s telling that “Stronger Together came out the same week that the Democratic nominee dismissed half of Trump’s supporters as “deplorables” and argued that the other half are the only ones worth heeding. And Democrats are rallying to the concept. Togetherness makes for a nice slogan, but division makes for a stronger campaign.”

      Mr Reviewer doesn’t seem to understand the argument.

      • Basket of Vagendas

        Mr. Reviewer is hoping to pole vault out of book review and become the next Maureen Dowd or Howie Kurtz.

        • Astraea

          What noble goals in life. I’d like him to pole vault somewhere.

    • Spotts1701

      Where’d they find this guy? And do they still have the receipt to return him?

    • TJ Barke
  • Basket of Vagendas

    Kevin Drum (who was quite the liberal hawk in his day, so he needs to back off her on those grounds) has a long list of reasons to vote for the Democrat instead of against the Republican.

    • limberrat

      Didn’t liberal savior and wanted fugitive Jill Stein say that Hillary wasn’t liberal? Was she… dare I say… lying?

      • Basket of Vagendas

        No idea. Get back to me if she runs for something and I’ll google her.

  • Be Gin

    Oh GoD!

    Ohhhh, shit HOWDY! Oh yeah Baby! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! Oh yeah BABY!
    Don’t stop! Right there! Oh Yeah! Sweet Baby Jesus! That’s it! That’s it!

    THAT’S IT!

    (I guess I still got some fire in the belly! Ms. Warren does that for me.)

    • Jonny On Maui

      wanna cigarette?

      • Be Gin

        After I wash up.

  • What should I do with the 3rd fat (obv) stuffed (obv) tasteless (obv) letter from the trump campaign?

    • anna rampage

      Write return to sender on it so they have to pay postage back to HQ

      • Basket of Vagendas

        and tape it to a brick.

    • Panika MCD

      correct it and make a tumblr. I didn’t make a tumblr, but I did edit and post every last one of the mailers I got from the Luber campaign.

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      Mail it back to the campaign headquarters with a note: “For every one of these I get, I donate another $50 to Hillary and another day to the DNC’s GOTV efforts. Keep ’em coming, morons.”

  • Be Gin

    The custodian at the Capitol called. He needs some Industrial Strength Stain Remover for that puddle where John Stumpf used to be.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Stumpf seems to be a perfect example of The Peter Principle, which states that managers rise to the level of their incompetence.

  • edith prickly

    When are these boneheads going to learn not to lie to Liz Warren?

  • SayItWithWookies

    I heard some of this on NPR on my drive home — Warren asked Stumpf how much his stocks had appreciated “while this scam was going on.” He stammered that it was a matter of public record and she cut him off. “I know it’s a matter of public record because I looked it up — two hundred million dollars.” I had to fight the urge to put on some fresh rags and grab a pitchfork and storm the castle.

    Eighteen minutes, you say? Hmmm — hell, we’ve got to overthrow the kleptocracy sometime — why the hell not now.

  • Ergoetal

    I’m curious how Trump followers might react to seeing that.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Given their fear based behavior I’d imagine something like this;

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBAidKOZeok

    • Mezzavagenda

      Oh, Senator Professor Warren is a villainess, don’t you know? She’ll destroy the economy with regulation and common sense.

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      They couldn’t make it past the ;15 second mark. “liberal bitch,elitist,facts, big words…..” Dog that was the best thing I’ve watched all week

  • The Wanderer

    I have a bit of English ancestry in me. I feel that it’s given me a cruel streak, because I did not and do not think that mere incarceration is enough to encourage the bank CEOs to straighten up and stop playing stupid games with peoples’ lives and money.
    When the other CEOs see the [REDACTED], I think it will go a long way pour encourager les autres.

  • I love Elizabeth Warren so so so much.

  • Basket of Vagendas

    AWESOME.

    Fox News star Sean Hannity—a vocal supporter of Donald Trump on his radio show and his 10 p.m. program on the top-rated, right-leaning cable network—is in hot water Tuesday after his bosses were alerted to his participation in a Trump campaign video.

    Hannity, who regularly features Trump on his shows in softball interviews and town halls, and recently sent a private jet for Newt Gingrich to confer with the Republican presidential nominee, appears along with Ted Nugent, Donald Trump Jr., Milwaukee County Sheriff David A. Clarke, Jr., and other Trumpkins to extol the candidate’s devotion to gun rights among other virtues.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      omfg
      I actually did lol at that
      fuckin’ hannity
      what a dick

    • I Only Like Cats

      How come Fox can call themselves a news network? No, seriously, this can’t be adequately be explained to me.

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        there is news for about 30 minutes a day
        the rest is just idiocy

      • Basket of Vagendas

        Because Roger Ailes is the boot descending on a face forever George Orwell warned you about.

      • Panika MCD

        because they use their 2nd Amendment to defend their 1st Amendment.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        They don’t. That’s just the name of the network. Like MTV not longer does “Music.” Dailykos story from 2012.

        • I Only Like Cats

          That’s not the implication they give viewers so they’re “official” stance is not the standard I’m going by.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Oh, I fully agree that a massive class action suit for false advertising is in order!

  • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

    OT: I am so getting something this weekend to sit on out on this balcony
    the wood is biting into my ankles

  • Mezzavagenda

    I found this amusing.
    “The outrageous scandal at Wells Fargo & Co., for which federal and local regulators hammered the bank for $185 million in fines and penalties earlier this month, speaks volumes about the decline of morality in corporate America.”
    Does it really speak volumes about the decline of morality in corporate America? Morality being a thing, which if it even exists in corporate America, has been not much in evidence since its creation. Or does is speak volumes about how you can fuck the consumer sideways with a cross-selling rototiller and get away with the gentlest of slaps on the wrist?

    • I Only Like Cats

      It speaks volumes about the idiocy of Libertarians.

    • Spotts1701

      Shall we introduce this poor, naïve soul to “The Gilded Age”?

    • jowgajen

      Capitalism has ALWAYS been amoral. Note the word, not immoral, amoral. Capitalism is a tool to do a thing and has to be directed and guided by society (aka government) to do a good thing. Which is not what’s happening now, what’s happening now is people are being materially and socially rewarded for using the tool to do decidedly destructive things.

      • TJ Barke

        Capitalism is an ideology. The economy is the thing, capitalism is the framework that directs the thing.

    • FurryCaterwauling

      Any lawyer will tell you that a ‘bad’ settlement is often better than a ‘good’ lawsuit.

      I’ll bet the execs were high-fiving each other with ‘only’ a fine of $185 million.

      And yes, the consumer loses.

      Any questions?

  • I Only Like Cats

    Donald Trump doesn’t understand how he could be a recruiting tool for ISIS… which means he’s literally never done any research into ISIS at all.

    • Panika MCD

      but he just KNOWS more about it than the generals because BODY LANGUAGE!

    • TJ Barke

      He shits all over muslims and taunts them repeatedly and he can’t understand how that could be used to drive recruiting?

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        he’s just saying what his supporter’s think
        how could that be bad?

  • Panika MCD

    that was very nice. who needs a cigarette?

  • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

    so the story is finally gaining steam:
    http://origin-nyi.thehill.com/homenews/campaign/296914-scrutiny-of-trump-foundation-deepens
    and some of the comments are hilarious

    • 52camellias

      Stumpf should be steamed lightly and enjoyed with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, with a toast towards getting his rear slung out of his CEO chair forever. Minus the Severance Package Full of Twinkly Monetary Goodness.

    • Joe Beese

      Wow.

      While the statute of limitations had already expired on some of the new allegations, Owens [a lawyer who represents charities and previously ran the IRS division that oversees tax-exempt organizations] said the “pattern of facts” is so egregious that he believes there are grounds for the IRS to force the Trump Foundation to forfeit 100 percent of its assets to the U.S. Treasury. That rare action involves a section of the Internal Revenue Code that penalizes foundations engaging in willful, repeated or flagrant violations of tax law.

      “The Trump Foundation is flirting with what’s called a termination tax,” Owens said. “That is the end of the foundation’s existence as an organization.”

      The termination tax is rarely used because “most foundations have the good sense” not to repeatedly use charitable donations to benefit the people running the foundation, he said.

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        I honestly doubt that would happen before Nov. 8th.
        *sighs*

    • Panika MCD

      I couldn’t help but reply to the person who said “Everybody is crooked.” and I already regret my decision.

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        oh yeah, oh dog no
        such a villainous hive and all that.
        the shill is kinda hit and miss on comments

  • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

    and the Trump foundation scam is now 3rd story down on google news’ top stories

    • I Only Like Cats

      Good, maybe this story will stick around long enough to affect Trump’s votes.

  • I Only Like Cats

    So I heard a Trump surrogate (what is with their level of tanning? They’re really all starting to like they’re in some level of blackface) on MSNBC and I had to turn it off, thinking it would be a “they both do it” type thing. I turn it back on and there are three people just tearing into this guy, ripping him apart, and Chris Matthews just casually mentioned what he said sounded suspiciously like a police state. I have not stopped laughing.

  • going4baroque

    The best way to rob a bank is to be a high ranking officer in one.

    Why has Obama’s Justice Administration not prosecuted any bankers, and why was the top 1% the primary beneficiaries of the TARP bailout in 2009. Elizabeth Warren, of course, knows the answer, the candidate’s constituency changes. Or there is a veiled or overt threat. Politics sucks, unless your heart and head is in the right place, so that fighting for what is good and right will prevail, like FDR, like LBJ (not the war), and probably George Washington, who watched Hamilton and Jefferson establishing two separate and opposing parties. and told them straightaway they were fucking up.

    • Shibusa

      Obama for sure failed in this area–and also in investigating the “intelligence failures” (as if) that led to the stupid, wasteful, needless, catastrophic Iraq invasion, but I’m sure you’d agree that blame for this failure can also be laid at the feet of the US Congress, which is owned by lobbyists. Congress passed laws written by their corporate sponsors, for the benefit of their corporate sponsors–to protect those precious corporations from pesky nobodys who have been wronged by them. And let’s be honest about the awful Citizens United decision, handed down by the conservative Supreme Court, which legalized political corruption in America.

      I do believe Obama’s head and heart are in the right place. History will judge him well, despite his failings.

  • Joe Beese
    • (((Gosala the Deplorable)))

      Nicest thing all day.

      My little cat liked to sleep under my chin when she was a baby

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        My avatar used to sit on my pillow and purr me awake. Seriously, you could hear her from across the room.
        This was fine in the winter in the UK when the sun didn’t rise until 9.
        She proceeded to wake me up during the summer at sunrise…at 4ish.

  • Brian

    The Feds should arrest Wells Fargo and throw it in jail. Corporations are people, right?

    • I Only Like Cats

      Yes but we assume they’re rich and white men so they face no consequences.

  • I Only Like Cats

    Add “Minority Report” to the list of dystopian novels and movies Donald Trump’s administration would like to emulate. Someone save the planet from him. Hillary I’m counting on you being the Chosen One. I know you’re not a guy, but you can do it. Also, Chris Matthews is sick and tired of fascists, and it is actually making him slightly watchable.

    • Catstro

      I am sick and tired of these motherfucking facists in this motherfucking campaign!

  • going4baroque

    Seriously, all those repeating the mantra that Hillary is the best qualified candidate ever for president really don’t know their history, here’s George Washington, President, Commander-in-Chief and genius politician, in his farewell speech:
    “However [political parties] may now and then answer popular ends, they are likely in the course of time and things, to become potent engines, by which cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled men will be enabled to subvert the power of the people and to usurp for themselves the reins of government, destroying afterwards the very engines which have lifted them to unjust dominion.”

    • I Only Like Cats

      Oh so George Washington was a First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State too, as well as a lawyer for civil rights? I was unaware.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Oh ffs…

      • going4baroque

        noted

    • Brian

      Washington was only qualified in that he was the only guy nobody would object to. He was very fortunate to have probably the best cabinet in history, and he let them do all the politicking. Which set up many of the arguments that drove the parties apart. He was a general who trusted his lieutenants for better or worse. That does not make him the most qualified person to be president, that makes him Ike.

      • Spotts1701

        And frankly political parties were going to happen at some point anyway – you cannot have any form of representative government without various factions vying for control of the direction it would take.

    • Panika MCD

      we get it. you like a man in uniform. too bad he wouldn’t like the snark mob one tiny bit.

      12. Shake not the head, feet or legs, roll not the eyes, lift not one eyebrow higher than the other, wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your spittle, by approaching too near him when you speak.

      http://www.knowledgehouse.info/GeorgeWashingtonRulesofCivility.pdf

      • going4baroque

        in point of fact, George has Hillary beat in the prim and proper deportment department
        https://youtu.be/dC4Pvm6Oj4A

        • I Only Like Cats

          Maybe because his dentures hurt him so much he could hardly speak? Because that man liked to dance, is all I’m saying. Also I have heard he liked to speak some crap about some people.

          • Panika MCD

            too bad he would have never made our Olympic Smack Talk Team.

        • Panika MCD

          I see she’s not in uniform nor a man. so, again, of course you don’t like her.

        • Astraea

          That seems highly doubtful.

        • Shannanigans

          FUCK PRIM AND PROPER DEPORTMENT

          • Jonny On Maui

            Someone’s shedding their introvert!

          • Shannanigans

            Hey, there’s nothing that says we introverts have to be prim and proper! Anyway, I mainly meant that it’s only Hillz who gets criticized for NOT being whatever someone thinks of as “prim and proper” because that particular description is always reserved for women, especially if they are not quietly sitting back and taking whatever shit is being doled out to them.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I couldn’t watch the whole thing because I don’t actually care about a moment where Clinton loses her temper (especially in what’s supposed to be one of her happiest moments, that’s just really messed up) I hadn’t even realized they had said lies and accused her of conspiracy theories right to her face. What’s wrong with people?

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Oh. Ok. You’ve convinced me. A woman, in the 21st century, failing to act in accordance with rules of decorum appropriate for men in the 18th century makes her utterly unqualified for office.

          • Shannanigans

            Right? She had the unmitigated gall to, when confronted in a mosh-pit type situation, basically tell someone to stop LYING right up there in her face. WHAT AN UNCOUTH BITCH, HUH?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The scandal!! Can I borrow some of your pearls to clutch?

    • Spotts1701

      Well considering that at the time the whole point of the way our government was set up was to prevent “the mob” from deciding anything of consequence (hence the Senate being selected by State Legislatures, the electoral college, the original plan where the winner of the election was President and the runner up VP, etc.), I am a wee bit skeptical.

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        I thought at the time the loser of the presidential election became vice?

        • Spotts1701

          In a simplified form, sure. But the first time it came up there were shenanigans by Alexander Hamilton in the casting of electoral votes to try and deny the Presidency to Adams. If a few more had played along with the scheme, we could have ended up talking about President Thomas Pinckney as Washington’s successor.

      • Panika MCD

        the electoral college came later to avoid having Congress pick president ever again.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      And how does that in any way indicate that she is less qualified than previous candidates?

      • going4baroque

        actually qualifications are not so much, 36 years old, born in the USA – right, nothing about hosting dinners for 8 years as Lady of the house

        • Pinkham’s Law

          So, exceeding the minimum qualifications doesn’t matter? Meets minimum qualifications. Also has spent 8 years as First lady. ALSO spent 8 years in the Senate. Has ANOTHER 4 years experience as SecState. None of that matters? I hope to fuck you’re not in charge of hiring where you work.

    • jowgajen

      There were about 4 million people in the US, and a minority of those were landholders entitled to vote. I’m afraid GW was not a “genius politician” anymore than the mayor of a medium sized city is a “genius politician”.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        *wince*

    • Panika MCD

      leave it up to the Founding Fathers to fuck it up the first time and to people like you to forget that before the Constitution, there was the Articles of Confederation.

    • Shibusa

      George Washington was a wise and prescient man. So were other presidents. He developed a conscience about his slaves and wrote in his will that they be freed when Martha died. I always thought it was odd that so many slave-owning Founders could wax poetic about freedom and liberty while owning other human beings.

      I’m not sure what your point is, really. A larger issue is that the Human Circus Peanut is surely the least qualified candidate in US history.

    • Astraea

      Wha–

    • Shannanigans

      Welp, now I remember why YOU were on my recently-cleared block list.

      • I Only Like Cats

        They’re kind of rude. (And not all that bright, but shhhh, I don’t want to upset them. Let’s just slowly walk away, maybe they won’t notice.)

        • Shannanigans

          Eh, this is the same one that posted pictures and/or articles (I forget the extent) from Conservative Treehouse after the Philando Castile shooting and argued that the indistinct smudgy item visible in the photo of the dead man’s lap COULD MIGHT MAYBE BE A GUN AND THAT’S WHY HE WAS SHOT. Because a guy with a kid in the car is stupid enough to have a gun in his lap and a BLACK guy who has been pulled over umpteen dozen times by the cops is stupid enough to leave it there.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Logic, how does it work?

      • going4baroque

        losing the memory, old gal? you are the “it” girl, snark of the proper Amish, you can shun me anytime!

        • Jonny On Maui

          Cuz rudeness always works and they did it first.

          • going4baroque

            ffs, I understand that. I don’t understand what you are telling me here ^^^

        • Shannanigans

          Oh, come on. At least last time you tried to pretend to come around. Now you’re just being a dick, and not even a very interesting one.

          • going4baroque

            please, shun me now!

          • Shannanigans

            I don’t think that’s going to be necessary.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            What’s remarkable is how little anybody gives a fuck about you…other than pointing and laughing anyway.

          • going4baroque

            no one here knows me, pal – no one knows another, except in the dead past, so point and laugh away, with the dead

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You make the same mistake others of your ilk tend to do….that you’re the first asshole I’ve ever encountered and would therefore be all impressed. Sorry. Pal.

          • Shannanigans

            It’s not even worth reporting for good Shit fer Brains material.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Low energy. Weak!

          • Shannanigans

            Wha, me? Yeah. I’ve been awake since 3 or 4 this morning so I don’t have a lot of fucks to give.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            No, NOT you!

          • Shannanigans

            Oh, I’m fine either way. Troll wants SO HARD to be “shunned” but it’s at the wrong website for getting those kinds of needs taken care of.

            We’re good!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Get some rest. It’s important to conserve energy for the times you may be asked to man the ramparts against a worth troll. This one is just sad.

          • going4baroque

            I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been gossiping about me all over town! I apologize for the “old gal” comment, if you were offended, I’m sure I have a few years on you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are one of only a few women I’ve met that is a dick, albeit a dick that is not very interesting. Hey, I like it when insults can be recycled, I care for our planet, I will leave you alone now, I tend to make apologies that could go on forever if I’m not careful

          • going4baroque

            I’m sure that with your stupefied thinking, you’ve created a world where you are surrounded by assholes,

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Just one, actually. Congratulations!

        • jowgajen

          Please enumerate when you feel it is appropriate to call a human “old gal”.

          • going4baroque

            I don’t do math

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Meth, on the other hand…

    • Brian

      And then Alexander Hamilton testified before the banking committee and Senator Warren grilled him on how much money he was funneling to his Broadway productions and Aaron Burr, spurned at not being cast in the lead of the Boston Massacre Musical, shot Hamilton while yelling, “sic semper tyrannis!”

  • Objectifer

    So he got an 18 minute grilling from Sen. Warren, that was nice.
    Then he hopped on his Gulfstream 650, flew back to NY, and snorted some blow off a $1000/hr hookers ass. Tomorrow he will figure a new, more ingenious way to rip us all off.
    And the world keeps turning.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      I’m guessing a $1000 dollar hooker doesn’t have the pockmarks and bullet scars that hold the powder in place like I’m used to.

      • jowgajen

        Double sided tape works wonders.

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          in Bristol, UK, they would douse most available flat surfaces in the bathroom with WD 40 to cut down on coke use.

          • jowgajen

            Does this make the powder stick more? Or slide off more? Does it burn more (enough to matter)? Or did it just add a certain petrochemical flair to your drugs?

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            turns it into an unusable mess

      • Shannanigans

        You could probably find one for $20 around where I work now. DAMN, it’s a dodgy area!

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          $20!
          what do I look like, a Rockefeller?

  • Toomush_Infer

    The whole time, he’s thinking: “$200 mil, $200 mil, I’d do it all again for $200 mil….”

  • I could watch Warren do this all day.

  • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))
  • artem1s

    haha, Liz has no problem calling a scam a scam despite how much Mr. Stumpf feels uncomfortable with it. The NYT needs to take lessons from Liz on how to call a liar a liar.

  • Rick Hill

    Trump ups himself. The mighty man, the great negotiator, the only one who cannot only stand up and defeat Hillary but also the only one to save us from everything. That guy? Yeah, he crowdsourced his debate answers. I wonder if he also wants a lifeline and phone a friend. This is the survey he’s asking people to fill out for him
    https://action.trump2016.com/debate-prep-survey/?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=ELC_elections-2016_debate-prep-survey&utm_content=091916-debate-prep-inh-v1-jfc-p-p-hf-e&utm_source=e_p-p

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      Wow. A short-fingered vulgarian and a pussy.

      • Rick Hill

        I’d guess he was fishing for emails but he likely has the address of everyone who is likely to fill this out.

        • ViveLaDeplorables

          I bet you’re right, though. I also bet it you can’t finish it without signing up for auto-debt-forever donations.

    • artem1s

      oh my, anyone up for a little trolling?

      • Rick Hill

        I’m working my way through it. What would be good as a final comment, one that a lot of us make and he notices? I’m thinking:
        We need to hear the real trump, the one who will fight even if he’s against a girl. No half assed replies, give her both guns!

      • ViveLaDeplorables

        I’m going in.

      • Panika MCD

        since I can’t answer in the form of moving pictures, I did it here.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))
      • Rick Hill

        He’s half a step from all his supporters seeing what a whining little wuss he really is

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          I wish I lived in your dream world.
          *sighs*

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Is he going to be allowed to buy a vowel any time he wants?

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      phone a friend assumes anyone would answer

      • Rick Hill

        *trump selects phone a friend….
        trump’s cell rings.

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          “wait a minute, I have someone on the other line.”

    • Rick Hill
      • weejee

        The Donald in a public restroom?

        / faints

      • cousin itt

        Kudos to our own former Denver Post cartoonist. Pulitzer winner and within a year old of both Donald and Hillary. Olds can be just as creative as any other age group.

    • DainBramage

      The problem with trolling that “survey”, and believe me, it is so troll-able, is that you have to give an email address to submit your answers.

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))
      • Rick Hill

        You don’t have a garbage email account?

        • ViveLaDeplorables

          What am I, Wells-Fargo?

          • Rick Hill

            I’ve made fake email accounts in all the Wonketteres names. Is that wrong?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Not after you send me my cut…

          • Rick Hill

            Oh, something will be by shortly. Or someone….

          • artem1s

            thx :P

        • DainBramage

          I guess I’m just to lazy to have one.

          • Rick Hill

            You should have an alternate as well as a fake name so you can see who is selling your info.

        • msanthropesmr

          All of my email accounts are garbage accounts I think sometimes.

      • I Am Helpy
        • I Am Helpy

          or any of a dozen other temporary email services.

      • Shibusa

        I filled it out and then inserted my RWNJ brother’s info.

      • artem1s
        • DainBramage

          Thanks, I used that. My “full name” was Trump Sucksballs.

      • Panika MCD

        that’s why I posted my answers here.

      • cousin itt

        I’m feeling so dirty.

        So Russian.

    • Panika MCD

      Which of the following issues do you want Donald Trump to address on the debate stage even if moderators fail to bring them up? (Select as many that apply.)
      why Trump thinks he should dictate what issues will or will not be talked about despite his clear lack of balls.

      (Optional) Is there an issue you felt was missing?
      http://media.salon.com/2016/08/Trump-taxes-HRC-1280×791.jpg

      Should Trump focus more of his time attacking Hillary’s policies or defending his own agenda?
      questions 4-21, 25 and 28 indicate that this question does not need to be answered. he’s going to attack her no matter what. and he’ll probably trip over his dick a bunch of times while he’s at it.

      Do you think school choice, charter schools, and local decision-making should be key components of our country’s education policy?
      that’s more of a state issue. and anyway:
      http://s.quickmeme.com/img/76/76f937bbde0210a53caea66a98ecf97f7638dcfea6eeedb964288e853e619a0d.jpg

      Do you agree that raising taxes will stunt the economy, hurt middle-class families, and won’t even solve our growing debt crisis?
      could someone hold my mixed economy while I kick this dude in the Keynes (with votes)?
      http://www.cnbc.com/id/43772946
      (recipe note: to be a truly mixed economy, one of the two ingredients needs to be locally made. we were using Tito’s, Dripping Springs or Deep Eddy vodka when we did this and POM for the juice.)

      Do you agree that terrorists held at Guantanamo Bay should not be released and relocated to America as Obama suggests?
      http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8mjvv1IOz1qb2ezw.gif

      Do you agree that the Iran Deal, developed by Hillary, should be ripped up and renegotiated?
      here lies the carcass of question 25.

      Should Trump focus on his own experience living the American Dream, and his desire to make it accessible for ALL Americans?
      this is a trick question. everyone knows that Trump’s ability to shit in a gold toilet is dependant on that NOT being accessible to anyone else.

      Should Trump take this moment to show the American people he has actually created jobs and understands how to get stuff done?
      no, because we’d still like to see the tax returns and whatever bodies are hiding in them.
      http://static2.businessinsider.com/image/575b5ab052bcd066018c892d-1190-625/theres-something-in-those-taxes-thats-even-worse-than-shooting-someone-on-fifth-avenue-romney-demands-trumps-tax-returns.jpg

      Should Trump continue to describe himself as an outsider ready to take on the gridlock, corruption, and waste of Washington — everything that Hillary represents?
      RIP, question 28.

      How would you rate Trump’s campaign?
      on a scale of this
      https://media.giphy.com/media/l2SpR0mUIn56VXhRK/giphy.gif
      to this
      https://thelastofthemillenniums.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/christie1.gif
      I give it:
      http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/donald-trump-campaign-lies-syria.gif

      (Optional) Please provide any feedback that you think Mr. Trump will find useful in his big debate with Hillary.
      schedule a root canal for Monday afternoon.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I didn’t think it was possible for me to love you more.

    • Spotts1701

      Got a fiver that Trump will do whatever he wants anyway, given the track record.

      • Rick Hill

        His aides did say that during the primary his topic would be whatever the last person talked to him about. It’s how he connects to the common folk.

        • revenant

          also what his ghostwriter said- he repeats what the last person to talk with him said, without acknowledging the source.

          • Jen B_VA

            Makes perfect sense they want to feed him a bunch of common man Q and A then.

    • Jen B_VA

      Seriously. You think the unpaid staffers are going to take the time to write up his answers for him?

  • JVisconti

    Did the Wells Fargo wagon run over Stumpf’s right hand to warrant the bandage?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Trap door cookie jar…

      • weejee

        Sweet.

        / wait, what?

  • weejee

    Doktor Professorski Warrenova is such a badass. Kneecapped him with a verbal tire iron. Think this is about the only time there was a sense of clear anger might have glimmered for a second or two below her always well-comported persona.

  • AnOuthouse

    The only video I have watched at Wonkette. I need a cigarette.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      you missed out on spoiling your youtube history if you passed up all that wonderful MRA and MGTOW stuff

    • Rick Hill

      I’d really like to see her appointed as Hillary’s head inquisitor and some of these guys start to do some hard time.

  • Toomush_Infer

    The whole time, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about him dropping his drawers, bending over the table, and Warren standing over him with a large wooden paddle…

    • Suttree

      We have different tastes in porn.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Okay….

        • Suttree

          I was fantasizing about Liz in high heels stomping all over him.

          • Toomush_Infer

            Not so different then – you’re a leg man…

          • Suttree

            Yup. There were stockings also too.

          • Toomush_Infer

            Yandy…

          • Jonny On Maui

            Him?! I’d rather me and Ms Warren engage in mutual tongue lashing…

          • cousin itt

            OK, that’s it. Back to my bunk.

          • cousin itt

            OTOH, plenty of privileged wealthy alpha males pay for the humiliation.

      • Shannanigans

        HAHAHA OMG…I can’t even describe what that made me think of wishing I could see him do. Maybe if I get REALLY DRUNK some time.

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          *slides bottle closer*

          • Shannanigans

            *sniffs bottle*

            HEY THAT’S NOT TEQUILA IS IT?!

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            no, no…of course not
            *hides salt and freshly cut limes*

          • Shannanigans

            You can’t fool me. I know it’s tequila. It reminds me of dank basements and lost dogs.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            “…fights begin, fingerprints is took, days is lost, bail is made, court dates are ignored, cycle is repeated.”

          • Shannanigans

            Eh, no. I was never in a fraternity.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))
          • Shannanigans

            They don’t drink tequila. They drink Everclear.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s because you should always do tequila shots from bottles that are good enough to not need chasers. if no good tequila is available, try canning the salt and limes, eat an orange slice instead. drink whiskey. like a woman.

          • Shannanigans

            Well, I was only barely 21 and I didn’t know about these things.

          • Vienna Woods

            And keep it in the freezer!

          • Panika MCD

            then you can’t drink it while camping. nope.

          • Vienna Woods

            Well, there’s that.

          • Jen B_VA

            I made my hubby take us out for dinner tonight so I could get a strawberry marg, and I taught my 11 year old how to do Teqqy shots, only the shot was a corn chip. Salt and lime were there though ^.^

    • Rick Hill
      • Toomush_Infer

        That’ll do. It was the regular, convincingly regulated nature of her attack that led me to the thwacking…

        • Rick Hill

          That could be the beginning.Of course, this is what I’ve always envisioned as a proper sentence for the Iraq perpetrators but it works with bankers, too

      • cousin itt

        Love the flying rat at upper left.

        Gives me ideas. Bad, bad ideas.

        • Rick Hill

          Dead cat, too.

    • Be Gin

      Paddle?

      More like a 12″ strap-on with no lube!

      • Jonny On Maui

        OUCH!

        • Vagendadentacohontas

          Yup! Dry strap ons can hurt!
          I’ve read that on the interwebs, obvs.

        • Be Gin

          $200 MILLION dollars worth of OUCH!

          • Jonny On Maui

            $16.667 mil per inch!

  • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

    Creationist Ken Ham Just Lowered Attendance Estimates for the First Year of Ark Encounter

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/09/16/creationist-ken-ham-just-lowered-attendance-estimates-for-the-first-year-of-ark-encounter/

    Much more of that, and the whole thing will be going…under water.
    http://pre01.deviantart.net/b88e/th/pre/i/2011/306/3/4/rarity_glasses_by_j_brony-d4ewark.png

    YEEEEAAAAAAAAHH!

  • Brian

    Chris Hayes doing a piece on this story now. Also, Charlie Pierce did a great piece on this today, and talked about how some of the toughest questions came from Republicans. It was pointed out during the hearing that Wells Fargo has managed to unify the parties.

  • Vagendadentacohontas

    It may be downthread, but I haven’t looked yet, BUUUT: does anyone else think Mr. Strumpf beaked his hand punching a wall when he heard he was going to face Liz Warren on this issue?

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
    On the other other hand, I guess it could have been a golf cart accident…

    Also too, Liz Warren for prezdint of my heart!

  • Rick Hill
    • Pinkham’s Law

      Pup’s gonna be hungry for a WHILE, though.

      • Rick Hill

        He’s just curling up for a nap

  • Be Gin

    I do not watch all the videos that get displayed at Wonkette. Being old I have to be aware of how much time gets spent on such things.

    But, right now, this bit of Miss Lizzie making me Dizzy has to be the best thing I have ever seen at Wonkette. The runner-up is a gif of Captain James T. Kirk slapping himself silly.

    Now if someone were to create an endless loop of Ms. Warren slapping Captain Kirk?

    HEAVEN!

  • Kristina Muskiewicz

    Elizabeth Warren doesn’t have time for your stupid evasive shit. She will take you down.

  • I Only Like Cats

    Hillary Clinton is as hard on racism as Warren is on banks.

  • Rick Hill

    The trump train rolls on….

    Trump Says ‘Places Like Afghanistan are Safer’ Than U.S. Inner Cities

  • Brian

    He just admits everything, right in public and people just don’t care

    https://twitter.com/ABCPolitics/status/778348529999765504

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      His crowd really didn’t like that idea. I heard maybe two idiots yelling.

      • Jen B_VA

        Maybe a few of them are starting to get it. Maybe.
        But srsly, did they find every woman in the crowd to sit behind him or what?

        • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

          Probably. And none of them even showed their boobs! What kind of biker rally is this?!?!

          • Jen B_VA

            Show us yer bewbs!!!!
            I swear one day I will actually agree to that call. And whap someone upside the head as I unleash the hounds.

          • ahughes798

            We could work together….your hounds could flap ’em upside the haid, and my hounds could take them out at the knees!

        • Master Contrail Program

          Well they managed to alienate all of his African-Americans.

    • Rick Hill

      What! Wth it isn’t showing again.

    • Spotts1701
  • Arolpin

    Is anyone else unable to comment using an iOS device? I can post from my computer, but when I try from my iPad, the page blanks out and I can’t do anything without reloading the page and losing all the unread comments. If comments were allowed, which they aren’t.

    • Jen B_VA

      Apple is in the pocket of Big Trump.
      The censoring hath begun!

    • anwisok

      Working on my iPhone.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Damn. That was instant. I hit post and it showed up on the laptop immediately.

        • Jen B_VA

          It does not usually?

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Nope. Usually a couple of seconds delay. This time, literally hadn’t set the phone down before the “1 new post” showed up.

          • Jen B_VA

            Huh. My desktop is also instant. That is how I know the wifi has cut off again, if it is not instant XD

      • Arolpin

        Have you upgraded to iOS 10 yet? I can comment from the Disqus window, but not from the main post. FYD!

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Fuck if I know! Fuck if I care! Does what I need, that’s all I give a shit about.

          • Jen B_VA

            My phone likewise does what I need. I callz people on it.
            Goddamn I am old. OH! New new guy started today! He is also a young? I am like….wait. I am now the old lady of the office space?
            Sweeeet. I can tell them all sorts of bullshit and when I was your age jokes.

        • Catstro

          I have not updated yet, and it works fine for me. Would not be shocked if it’s the new iOS.

    • Shannanigans

      Are you logged in as a member?

      • Arolpin

        That appears to be what was wrong. It’s still not quite right, but I can post now, I think.

  • Gregory Brown

    That tree was a stump by the time Liz was done chopping it down.

  • Brian

    Senator Professor Warren will be on Maddow soon!

  • Panika MCD

    SECOND NOTICE – Nasty Vile Snarky Little Book Club

    if you love Yr Wonkettes and, like me, also love hoarding books cultivating a personal library, here are a few books you might like to purchase THROUGH THE AMAZON LINKY (and if this gets a good response, I’ll do another next Monday):

    https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41o6Z6WzLFL.jpg
    140 Capitol Tips: Advice about the legislature, politics, elections and love. by Rene Lara is a hilarious way to get through any legislative session. why 140? because Rene lobbies the TX lege on behalf of the TX AFL-CIO and each regular session of the TX lege is 140 days long. but don’t worry, these tip can be useful under any dome. for example:

    Capitol Tip #63:
    Some lobbyists have never missed a committee hearing. Others have never missed a happy hour. There is disagreement as to which is the more effective lobbying method.

    who likes tattoos with their recipes?
    https://images-eu.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/516LrxJG71L.jpg
    from Isaac Fitzgerald, Books Editor at Buzzfeed and tattoo haver, and artist/illustrator/graphic journalist (don’t know what that last one is) Wendy MacNaughton this book chronicles the stories behind the tattoos of 65 chefs and comes with recipes!
    it is also too the follow up to Pen&Ink by the same dynamic duo.
    https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51MgJABk%2BIL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

    now click the Amazon linky and catch you some caxtons. (http://www.poetrybyheart.org.uk/poems/a-martian-sends-a-postcard-home/)

    • sw19tacotruck

      Ooh Knives and Ink would be the perfect present ever ever for a friend of mine!

      • Panika MCD

        do it through the Amazon linky on here so that Wonkette gets some ameros.

        • sw19tacotruck

          Sadly I’m a furriner (.ca and .co.uk) but yes absolutely all home-based wonkerados should do this :)

        • berkeleyfarm

          I looked for that and couldn’t find it, do you have the link? (no worry if you don’t, I’ll ask Becca in email)

  • Blender_415

    Oh. My. Fucking. God. I love her. “Ball Stomping” doesn’t even cover it.

    • starfanglednut

      That’s my senator. Always makes me proud.

    • ahughes798

      It was a complete stomping, with some grinding them into the pavement with her lady-like feets. It was a thing of beauty.

  • HogeyeGrex

    So, a fine of somewhere around $90 per fraudulent account. Am I the only one thinking that they almost certainly made well more than that, and so, all in all, a net positive for the company? This is why Shitheel there still has a paying gig. This is also why there is zero incentive for any of these shitheels to do anything differently. Real jail time and financial ruin are the only effective deterrents for this behavior. Neither is being applied. This shitheel feels no remorse. Why would he? He won.

    I wish Liz had the power to do with them as she’d obviously like. It would be nice to see a huge lever next to her chair that opened up the Senate Oubliette. “I’m sorry, Mr. Stumpf. Did you say ‘No?’ <kachunkkkkk…. thumpettythumpettythumpettythumppppp What was that?

    Instead, $100 million bonuses and one of the worst of the lot within spitting distance of the Presidency. Talk about erosion of our moral fiber.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Well. It doesn’t have to be financial ruin, but it needs to be financial pain. For the people in charge, individually, not just the organization! MORE hurt for the individuals, proportionally, methinks.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Definitely. If it’s only the company that pays out, what incentive is there for the individual to change behavior? Sort of like the County paying for Arpaio’s lawsuits. What the fuck does he care about a million dollar fine if the taxpayer foots the bill and he keeps getting elected?

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    You guys, that candy thread made me think of the best candy. And the best candy is no longer made! WHY HAVE YOU LEFT ME APPLE FLAVORED SQUARE SHOOTERS?!!

    http://i.giphy.com/WBeGELD0ezW8w.gif

    • Shannanigans

      That reminds me of the part of that movie that had me and my daughter howling with laughter, especially when it got to the cats.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMQT-Mv92x0

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        LOL! The cat made my dogs flip out and start barking!

        • Shannanigans

          HAHAHA! I loved that cat on the console! No fucks whatsoever…

      • Brian

        Can I just vent here the one point of the movie that annoys me, because I have no where else to vent it? We go through the whole movie with Riley having her emotions portrayed by a mix of men and women. But when anyone else is shown: The father’s emotions are all men, the mother’s all women, the cat’s all cats and the dog’s all dogs. Why is Riley the only ones that are mixed? Is it because they just needed more men in the cast?

        It just seems lazy to me for an otherwise great movie.

        • Shannanigans

          I took it as younger people are taught to divide different emotions up as either male or female in a binary way because that’s what we’re taught to do to start with, but as we get older we have more nuanced ways we’re supposed to express our gender…things. So “men” are supposed to do “angry” a certain way but “women” are supposed to do it some way else, but in clear male or female ways. By the time we’re adults, our reactions are all supposed to be suffused with and identifiable by gender.

          That’s why everybody knows cats are female and dogs are male, right?

          • Brian

            I don’t by it because the commentary of the “sensitive” man has been going on for at least 30 years. And the strong woman has been talked about even longer. Maybe they only had one member of the opposite sex (for the mother Anger for the father Sadness; to be cliche). There’s no reason they couldn’t have diversified the emotions in the parents except laziness.

          • Shannanigans

            Maybe so. Or maybe they were playing to the stupid stereotypes we STILL operate under. I don’t know since I wasn’t there when they were writing it.

            Like you, though, I would have been a lot happier if they’d written it in a way that represents the more diverse ways real people operate in the actual here and now, or in a way that would help us all move toward being a lot healthier and rounded individuals.

  • Is this the kind of world we want to live in, where billionaires have to answer to Congress? #NeverHillary #MakeAmericaApeAgain

    • Jen B_VA

      Aw well bless your heart!

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      PrezaCTLY! CHECKING ACCOUNTS AND HIGH INTEREST LOANS FOR EVERYONE! YOU GET A NEW CHECKING ACCOUNT! AND YOU GET A NEW CHECKING ACCOUNT! AND, WAIT NOT YOU, YOU DON’T, BAD CREDIT! BUT YOU! YOU GET A CHECKING ACCOUNT!!!

      http://i.giphy.com/xXuQz6usY7gKk.gif

    • Brian

      Yes. Also a world where people don’t use dead apes as comedic relief.

      • Jen B_VA

        But he got like 2 upfists on deadblightfart! Surely that counts for something?
        No?
        Harsh crowd.

        • Panika MCD

          SAD!

        • TJ Barke

          But were either of them from himself?

    • TJ Barke

      Uh yeah, when they’re responsible for criminal activity, I should hope so.

    • Brian

      Remember when J Paul Getty, J. Pierpont Morgan, Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller joined together to prevent Teddy Roosevelt from breaking up Monopolies. Those were the days. When employers could burn their employees without consequence, could charge whatever they wanted because they had no competition, and could cause the country to go without heat because they didn’t want to pay their coal miners. Yeah, those were good times. Let’s make Americans Poor Again!

      • (psst, that’s the joke…)

        • Brian

          (Pssst there’s nothing to suggest you were joking.)

          • “Actually, you’re right,” said the talking ape running for Vice President.

  • Jamoche

    Oh SFGiants no…
    When you’ve had three strikeouts – “K”s – against a person whose name is Kiké you really should not try to get clever.

  • Me not sure

    The look on the face of this asshole throughout this whole grilling was one of complete nonchalance. He could not have cared less. I have read recent studies that show that the really powerful leaders in American business today meet most of the criteria for psychopathy. This guy proved it to me.

  • Me not sure

    The look on the face of this asshole throughout this whole grilling was one of complete nonchalance. He could not have cared less. I have read recent studies that show that the really powerful leaders in American business today meet most of the criteria for psychopathy. This guy proved it to me. In spades.

    • Jen B_VA

      They are not leaders. At best, they are opportunistic grifters, but not a leader amongst them.

    • dshwa

      He knows that when push comes to shove, the Republicans will protect him from the consequences. SPW can call him out, but he’s safe. And even if the WF board shitcans him, his parachute will be very golden and very big.

    • Daisy

      One of my roommates read the same thing today, I believe.

    • BadKitty904

      They’ve got their several hundred million dollars, Why should they care?

      Now, threaten to take that away from them and see how they react…

  • idiotboy

    Wow. I never open videos. What a great way to end the day.
    Ms. Warren I do not know what to say except thanks.
    And thanks Wonkette/Evan, would have skipped it, the rest of the news makes me want to go to bed.

    • Suse

      She’s on Rachel’s show right now.

  • Blacktop Cadence

    Helping oldish people set up technology is a booze inducing experience.

    • Valkyrie

      Try being your 85-year-old mother’s tech support!

      • Panika MCD

        any time you want to FIX THIS GODDAMN TEEVEE for the Prima Momma, you are welcome to it.

        • Suttree

          They don’t make vacuum tubes anymore.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Hey! My amp runs on vacuum tubes.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I was gonna say, there’s lots of stuff with tubes in them including your guitar amp and my B3. In fact, they sound their best when you warm them up to the point you start to smell them…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Tube burn!

            One of my clients is a collector of vacuum tubes of all kinds…amazing, beautiful, gigantic ones from things like old radar installations. Bizarre shapes, hand-blown glass.

          • ahughes798

            I have an old Ampeg V4B head. Wish I could find an old 8×10 cabinet to go with it! Ah, the smell of a warmed up amp……..

          • starfanglednut

            Nothing like a nice tune amp. I’ve got a vintage music man. The tone is incredible.

          • Suttree

            Well that’s different. Amps are important and tv’s don’t need to be anything but a large cell phone.

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn
          • CJTX

            Hey! I was curious since I know you play – you tried this D’ Addario strings? I”ve got a cheap SG (cause all the big sounds come out of SG’s) But it always sounds muddy. So I picked up this set today…sales lady said they were pimp.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I used D’Addario strings for decades…I think they’re great. A coupla years ago, I switched to Elixer strings because they have some kind of teflon coating that makes them last substantially longer. They don’t sound better, but they sound better for longer. Playing outdoors a lot, and with heat, humidity, sweaty hands, spilled beer etc. I found I was having to change strings WAY too often. The Elixers are considerably more expensive, but it has been a net savings for me, as I buy them in bulk online.

          • CJTX

            These are NYXL…and they do actually sound pretty darn good on my cheap SG! Also, “playing outdoors a lot, and with heat, humidity, sweaty hands, spilled beer” is all kinds of punk rock. I love it.

          • Panika MCD

            she just can’t figure out how the remote works.

    • Suttree

      I got to be my mother’s plumber today. Twice! I told her to not let the super touch anything!

      • Blacktop Cadence

        What’s weird is my parents always “debate loudly” over electronics. So, I’m sitting there programming the sound bar remote for their new 55 inch curved 4k TV, and they’re still debating which remote to program it all too. :-D

    • DainBramage

      My Dad seemed to think that because I got a Computer Science degree, I should know everything about Word.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Speaking of frauds, I just heard a story of how Trump weaseled out of paying someone a promised one million dollar prize for hitting a hole-in-one at one of his “charity” golf tournaments. When the the guy sued, Trump paid the settlement out Trump Foundation funds. He also kicked some puppies and evicted orphans in the process.

    • Suttree

      You gotta get something for the money!

    • Suse

      This asshole cannot be president. Praying for a major lightning strike to hit him (with votes). I’m doing a phone bank thing tomorrow night for Hillz.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Real reporters like Kurt Eichenwald, David Cay Johnston, and David Fahrenthold are on to Trump like white on rice. Of course, their reporting depends on people having the ability and curiosity to actually fucking read, so….

        • Suse

          Therein lies the problem. People who aren’t curious and don’t read baffle me greatly. When I used to interview people for paralegal jobs, I would ask them to tell me what books they liked to read. I was horrified at how many said they didn’t read books. Next!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I met a girl once who I found, in many ways, extremely attractive. First time we had a conversation, she said “I hate to read”. Ooooookay, buh-bye.

          • Daisy

            Ugh, I can’t stand it when people do that. Possibly why I didn’t like that many guys back home, half of them hated reading.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Some things just aren’t going to improve over time.

          • Daisy

            At all.

          • Vienna Woods

            Now, now. Mr VW is not a big fan, as he is dyslexic. It doesn’t mean he isn’t a nice man with many good qualities.

          • Daisy

            They didn’t have any trouble with it though.They didn’t like any sort of education.

          • Taco Treg

            Bakersfield right?

          • Daisy

            Yes. Look up Oildale, my portion of the town, if you really want to get a feel for what it was like.

          • Taco Treg

            I know what it’s like. I have family there, but most of them live in Tulare and Visalia.

            I’m glad that you get to experience Berkeley!

          • Daisy

            I am too. Most of my family instate still lives in Kern, and the rest actually live somewhere near/in the Bay Area. I have no interest in seeking them out.

          • Taco Treg

            I’m at a great med school (UCI) but I’m envious that you get to attend the famous Berkeley!

          • Suse

            I have a friend in pre-med at UCI.

          • Taco Treg

            It’s an excellent school. I did my undergrad here as well. Small world!

          • Suse

            I live in the bay area. I was teaching her grandmother English and met her through that. The family, who are from Iraq, are the kindest and most generous people I know. Drumpf would deport them all.

          • Taco Treg

            I’ve met so many people from different parts of the world here, and wouldn’t change that part of UCI for anything. I’d just move it out of Irvine to a more relaxed city.

          • Daisy

            Oooh, UCI is good! I figured, based on past posts, that that was where you were. Take consolation in the fact that Berkeley doesn’t even have a med school.

          • Taco Treg

            It’s got to be beautiful there as well. Northern Ca is so much different than So Cal, geographically and socially.

          • Daisy

            *nods* It really is! Even buildings look different. There seems to be more brick here than back at home, I’ve noticed. I kinda miss L.A, it’s been a few year since I’ve been. I was there a lot as a kid, on account of my dad’s surgeries.

          • Taco Treg

            L.A. is nice. It’s got a ton of people, all of them different, and between the architecture and the people it’s interesting. The OC is so freekin homogenous. One thing I’m really looking forward to besides sleep is time to travel and find an interesting place to live while I’m in residency.

          • Daisy

            That’ll be great, once you can do that! Two more years, right? :)

          • Taco Treg

            1 Million more years! I take part 1 of the USMLE (National Boards) this year, part 2 in year 4 and part 3 my first year of residency. I’ve already started studying specifically for part 1. It’s killer.

            ETA: I never answered your question. Yep, 2 years but there’s a metric ton of stuff I have to accomplish in these last years it feels like I need a decade.

          • Daisy

            So, all of forever, then. I can’t wait to start studying for the bar, and that’s still less pressure than what you’re under.

          • Taco Treg

            The bar is HARD! but I have total faith that you’ll sail through it.
            I should really get back to it. I took a 15 minute break about 90 minutes ago.

            Night.

          • Daisy

            Good night!

          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            Oooooo! Oooooo! Oooooo!
            I went to UCI!
            Long time ago. Lived in Misty Mountain. (Are the Lord of the Rings dorms still there?)
            There was no Medical School yet.
            I was a Music/English major. (Finished with music at the Eastman School in Roch. NY)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            A rough place, for sure. But also the home of Mr. Alvis Edward Owens Jr.. Among the most heard phrases in the drublic household are “who drank the last beer” and “turn up the Buck Owens!”. And I live by myself.

          • Suse

            Of course not!

          • WomanInAMood

            I have never understood why some people take pride in being ignorant fuckwits. It’s not cute, it’s not sexy, it does not mark one out as a person of distinction. It’s the intellectual equivalent of announcing that one has some sort of skin condition that involved pus and oozing.

          • Suse

            It pains me, because people who can’t read and want to learn to do so are so dedicated and know how important it is. Literacy is such a gift.

          • WomanInAMood

            Indeed. It is one thing if one has difficulties, or is working hard to learn. I applaud those folks, as it adds so many difficulties to their lives. It’s the ones who just can’t be bothered that drive me up the damn wall.

          • Jonny On Maui

            It’s the easiest path, takes zero effort.

            How are you this evening WomanInAMood? Do the travels go well? You seem to have survived Lubbock…

          • WomanInAMood

            I am well, thank you. And how are you this evening? I hope a little less sore than yesterday.

            I am so far surviving Lubbock. It is not one the world’s most attractive places, but other than being ugly and depressing, it’s OK. The case for Lubbock is not improved by the maps handed out for the city, which bear only a slight resemblance to conditions on the ground. It does not help that I am fucking hungry, what with the two barbecue joints that were recommended being closed. I did have some in Amarillo, at a place recommended by a friend. It was…not actually cold, which is wildly over-praising it.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I am so sorry to hear that. From what i gather, and this is only hearsay, as I have not experienced it in over 40 years, BBQ in Texas is one of the redeeming features of Texas.

            Our Panika MCD, CJTX and other wonkie Texans being the other redeeming features…

          • WomanInAMood

            Of course the Texas Wonkers are the jewels in the Texas sky.

            I have heard so much about how great the food is in Texas. Honestly, I am trying to keep an open mind, small sample size, etc. But it is a true fact that I did not have one mouthful of mediocre food in New Mexico. Perhaps things will improve.

          • Panika MCD

            what days are you going to be in ATX again?

          • WomanInAMood

            Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning. I know how crazy busy you are, but I would love to buy you a cup of coffee or other beverage of your choice, if that’s at all possible.

          • Panika MCD

            I’d love to get the fuck outta this house for a few hours on Friday or Saturday. I’ve got House Elections both tomorrow and Thursday and I would say you should come to a hearing in person. but this is not the hearing and this is not the committee. and I will want to be drinking during it so I will do it from home.

            (it is truly sad how warped Elections got. last session it was the Rainbows&Unicorns Committee. now the only Rainbows and Unicorns in the room are Rep. Celia Israel and Fmr. Rep. Glen Maxey. and Laubenberg has decided to cover all their interim items in 2 days.)

          • Panika MCD

            p.s. I’d need transpo. can you find me on the FacePlant?

          • WomanInAMood

            Alas, no. Do you ever check your Disqus Notifications? Might be a good idea.

          • Panika MCD

            Lubbock: Extra! Extra Churches On Every Corner!

            that’s why the food selection is so low. but Robert Duncan is pretty cool…too bad about them replacing him with Charles “No Relation” Perry. Amarillo is good for….Seliger’s snark and motorcycles?

            it’ll get better. remember that we have many regions and they are not all created equal. the Panhandle is all about oil derricks and dairy farms. it is a place that smells so bad you pray for skunk.

          • WomanInAMood

            Speaking of the food selection, both mom and I were astonished at the lack of grocery stores here. Perhaps we’re just in the wrong neck of the plains, but due to the aforementioned whimsical maps, we did a hella lot of driving and passed exactly one grocery store. It quite honestly left us baffled.

          • Panika MCD

            yeah, HEB just bought some land in Lubbock, but they’re not open yet.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Well, I don’t recall any pus and oozing but….the sad part about this particular person is that she is far from stupid or uneducated, quite the opposite, in fact. She just thinks reading is a waste of time. Hard for me to wrap my mind around such a mentality.

          • Vienna Woods

            Once again, not enjoying reading isn’t necessarily the equivalent of pus oozing. My husband is one of those number.

          • WomanInAMood

            I am sorry. What I meant to say, and didn’t, is that people who willfully choose not to think, who actually take pride in that, those folks drive me nuts. You are entirely correct that ease-of-reading is not the same as intelligence.

          • Be Gin

            She did you a solid. Time is too precious to waste.

          • Tacoclamgenda

            Just as horrifying was sitting in writing classes listening to students respond that they didn’t really read much. WHAT?!!!?

    • berkeleyfarm

      I am just boggled by these foundation shenanigans. Can you say “slush fund”? I can. I guess we know why the right has gone so hard for the Clinton Foundation – best defense is a good offense/projection.

      I am one of the people who thinks he might be doing this to try to buy immunity from the IRS (and/or the Russkies). I mean, Palin’s been treating her foundation as a personal slush fund, but she’s probably immune from being a target due to her sensitive political position.

      • Vienna Woods

        Isn’t Palin’s a PAC?

        • Rotisserie Teal

          I believe you are correct. Different rules.

        • berkeleyfarm

          I stand corrected! Thanks. (Long day. I also used to manage books in a small way for a charitable organization so, yeah, still pretty boggled.)

    • Shannanigans

      That reminds me of years ago when the boss of my business unit decided that we needed an afternoon of “team building” stuff and told us all he’d give $50 to the first person to make a free-throw basket out in the court we had in the parking lot. I did it in a skirt and fucking HEELS and haven’t seen that fifty bucks to this day.

      • DainBramage

        I call shenanigans!
        (On the boss.)

      • Be Gin

        “Team Building”, “Leadership”, “Quality Initiative”, “Our Work Family”.

        All of it BS. You get together and “share”. And if you are not careful you may find that the stuff you share gets twisted into a weapon to be used against you later by both the boss and your co-workers.

        Capitalism only pits children at each other while the “adults”make bets on who will win the fight. Don’t give them anything.

        • Vienna Woods

          Oh, even non-capitalism does that shit- as in, PD days for teachers. I am SO glad to be retired and to not have to put up with that shit ANY MORE!!! (seriously, I preferred marking essays to that bullshit)

      • CJTX

        Reminds of the story where teh Hooters restaurant promised a Toyota for highest sales or something…when somebody won, it was a “Toy Yoda”.

        That one went to court, IIRC.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    So I’m gonna go stir-fry some cucumbers. Anyone ever try this?

    Here’s a recipe: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2015/05/stir-fried-cucumber-spicy-ground-pork-easy-dinner-recipe.html

    • Panika MCD

      too salty and something about the look makes me lose my appetite.

      http://www.oceanwideimages.com/images/7829/large/leopard-sea-cucumber-24M1240-01.jpg

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I don’t know where you’ve been getting your cucumbers . . .

        • Panika MCD

          from the sea!

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            [If Panika offers you fried chicken, fake death.]

          • Pinkham’s Law

            PhhhhBBBBbbbtttt!!!!@1!!!! Somebody brought chocolate covered ants to show and tel in 3rd grade. I ate the shit outta those mothafuckas! I ain’t askeered.

          • Panika MCD

            why would a Panika offer you fried chicken?

      • BadKitty904

        Trump: The Early Years

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Eeewwwww! I was also excited for cucumbers tomorrow.

        • Panika MCD

          I am excited for tacos tomorrow. I am always excited for tacos.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Sounds tasty, but hubby isn’t a big fan of asian foods, so – don’t have the ingredients.

    • Catstro

      I’ve never made them, but I have been served lightly cooked cucumbers in a restaurant. They were delicious.

      • BadKitty904

        “It has been a common saying of physicians in England, that a
        cucumber should be well-sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out…
        ” ~ Dr. Samuel Johnson* (1709-1784)

        I, myownself, like cucumbers, but Doc Johnson apparently did not.

        *Owner of the immortal Hodge, “A Very Fine Cat Indeed”
        https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Hodge_%28cat%29
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f40253061773d74f90ecb8a9ae38e4ad476cf314b0e82130c354ab50a99055b0.jpg

        • Catstro
          • BadKitty904

            They do, however, like bananas, corn on the cob, grapes, geckos, bugs (assorted), small bits of plastic, etc.

          • Catstro

            Elder cat loves olive oil. There’s nothing he won’t eat (except for the wrong flavor canned cat food, and every flavor except for plain turkey is the wrong flavor), but I think that’s the most random. I also have a video of him eating a butterscotch lollipop that is pretty disturbing.

            We call ginger cat “The Rubber Bandit”, and can’t even keep rubber bands hidden away in drawers, he will find them and eat them.

          • BadKitty904

            While olive oil may disturbingly “accelerate his digestion” (how’s that for a euphemism?), it’s prolly good for his skin and coat.

            Watch the rubber-bands, tho – very bad for kitty, I’ve read.

          • Jonny On Maui
          • Tacoclamgenda

            Snort snort.

          • Quercus

            Just an FYI – rubber bands can get twisted around intestines and cause all kinds of problems in cats.

          • Catstro

            Yep, that’s why we don’t even keep them in the house, not even in closed drawers.

          • (((cynmac)))

            My doge likes fish, especially salmon. When watching my neighbor’s cats or over at my BF’s house, we have to watch my dog around the cat food. She also likes carrots and broccoli.

          • BadKitty904

            Well, at least it’s a healthy diet.

          • Tacoclamgenda

            FYI: if you ever need to feed fish like mackerel or salmon or ya just wanna share, Dollar tree has cans of mackerel for a buck. Go for 15oz vs10. Also, I personally like it better than tuna these days.

          • WomanInAMood

            My dog has a passion for cabbage. He’s the only reason I ever buy the stuff.

          • Vienna Woods

            My dog adores snap peas. And asparagus. And sweet peppers.

        • Catstro

          Also, I would totally buy oysters for elder cat. I was distraught the other night when I realized the fact that I bought chocolate ice cream meant that he couldn’t have any.

          • BadKitty904

            I would say something here about Someone patiently and regularly holding slices of watermelon until our two cats have eaten their fill, but y’all already think I’m crazy as it is…

          • Tacoclamgenda

            Well, I can say I’m keeping crazy good company. Only it was my dog. Loved melon but ICKICKICK on berries.

          • BadKitty904

            It’s a dirty job, but we get to do it…

          • Jonny On Maui

            Think. That’s so sweet!

          • BadKitty904

            It’s not my fault they look so freekin adorable as they chomp away at it. Then spend the next hour grooming each other ’cause they’re covered in juice.

    • Mahousu

      I’ve done something sort of similar, but with strips of pork rather than ground. Add some onions to that recipe, I say. And I never let the oil smoke. It’s bad for its health.
      You do have to make sure to get most of water out of the cucumbers first.

  • Manocide: The Vagenda of Fate

    Hey guys, I can understand why you’d want to hang out here all night making dick jokes and waiting for the taco truck. But in case you’re like me and only turn on network TV for special occasions, I thought I’d remind you that the new season of Agents of Shield starts tonight.

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      I keep telling myself to watch it again but the second season started off like a snore, so I just forgot about it. >_<

      • Manocide: The Vagenda of Fate

        Oh then, I have a feeling season 4 would just confuse you.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      season, of what?

      • Manocide: The Vagenda of Fate

        The nerds are talking amongst ourselves! Don’t you have cool kid stuff to be doing?

        • Rotisserie Teal

          I am SO going to use this line a gazzilon times. I’ll try to give credit when I can.

    • Vienna Woods

      Shit! Oh well, internet is my friend.

    • BadKitty904

      But that would require finding the TV remote, which I presume is currently under one of the cats.

    • Be Gin

      Death to Hydra!

      I see Our Ms. Warren in a skin-tight Shield Leather Special doling out the kung-fu and mean names to the bad guys!

    • Tacoclamgenda

      I hate when new seasons start. Kim a Netflxer and so am always behind which I generally don’t mind. Then comes the new season and I get annoying moments of envy.

      • (((cynmac)))

        I have Netflix and HuluPlus. Some shows I wait to binge and some I keep up with on Hulu.

        • Tacoclamgenda

          Add Hulu to the lottery list. Sighs….

      • Vienna Woods

        I too do the Netflix instead of trying to keep up throughout a season. Which is why Mr VW and I are planning a Gotham binge Saturday night.

    • Rotisserie Teal

      Like my DVR ain’t recording the shit out of that right now. Pfffttt. You probably think I forgot about Gotham last night as well….nope.
      :-)

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Favorite moment of TV punditry today:

    Sen. Perdue (R-Georgia) when asked about Trump paying legal settlements out of his foundation said something to the effect that these kind of things shouldn’t be talked about until they’ve been adjudicated in a court of law, then, in the same breath, says we should be talking about Clinton running a pay for play scheme while she’s Secretary of State. Whoooooooosh!

    • berkeleyfarm

      It’s different when people I like do it!

      • Panika MCD

        BOTH SIDES DUET!

    • DainBramage

      I hate these people feckless, moronic lickspittles.

    • BadKitty904

      “Thank you for clarifying that, Sen. Perdue, you lying whore.”

    • Spotts1701

      The interviewer should sue for whiplash.

    • (((cynmac)))

      Sen. Perdue is dummer than a box of rocks. You can quote me.

  • Panika MCD

    Rick Hill’s comment and Dok’s post on the InfoTerrier yesterday have me all inspired-like. let’s MadLib the shit outta this survey.

    Questions 1 & 2

    Which of the [_ADJECTIVE_] [_PLURAL NOUN_] do you want Donald Trump to [_VERB_] on the [_PLACE_] even if moderators fail to [_PHRASE_]? ([_VERB_] as many that [_VERB_].)

    ([_ADJECTIVE_]) Is there a/an [_NOUN_] you [_PAST TENSE VERB_]?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      You need a professional. Call Sarah.

    • Suttree

      fucking, stupid shit ass things, go fuck himself, different plane of existence, moderately ask him a fucking real question. fucking fuck fuck fuck. I ran out of adverbs and booze.

    • Brian

      That’s not how MadLibs work. You can’t let people see the whole thing. You gotta be like:

      Verb
      Noun
      Adjective
      Verb
      Conjunction
      Adjective
      Adjective
      Noun
      Adverb

      And let hilarity ensue.

      • Panika MCD

        okay, you do the next questions. but you’re going to have to respond to every comment with what it turns into.

  • Daisy

    I zoned out in my discussion section today, but my GSI was cool about it, and we had an awesome guest lecturer for the class portion today, so that was nice.

    • BadKitty904

      Some tea, maybe?

      • Daisy

        More like coffee, with all the half and half in the world. It was mostly stress, because my poli sci class just handed out our take home midterm, in which we were reminded we would probably get a B, which wouldn’t be stressful, because I have gotten Bs before, except I have to maintain GPA requirements for grants from the state and school.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Comes to it, I’ll bet you can crowdsource the answers on, er, a certain mommyblog & recipehub, and ain’t NO WAI it would be detected as plagiarism. Jest sayin’, ya no. If you get in a bind – which you won’t, ’cause you’re worried about this shit.

          • Daisy

            It shouldn’t be too bad, it’s mostly comparing and analyzing political theory in relation to, well international relations. I have to display the neorealist argument, but get to pick whether I’m comparing it to neoliberalism or constructivism.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Oh, dear, no WAY you could find someone here to advise you, if you decide you need it! Everybody here is a neophyte, with FAAAAAR less knowledge than you! YOU HAVE THIS, but if you need a bump, you know you gots help!

          • Daisy

            *hugs* Thanks! My roommate and I both have the class, so we can has out some of the readings together. She plans on writing about constructivism, and I about neoliberalism though. Constructivism is a little abstract for me to feel comfortable using it in the first midterm, when I have another choice.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Wanna know a sekrit?
            Collidge ain’t about yer grades . . .
            It’s about building yer Network.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Listen to Pinkham. Network building starts now!

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            I think we’re mainly helpful if she needs help with a dick joke or a recipe involving booze.

        • BadKitty904

          A.) Due to innate hyperness, Some of Us are strongly discouraged from drinking coffee, so…tea;
          B.) Surely to God this Presidential campaign should provide enough material for all poli-sci papers for the next thousand years, at least…

  • BadKitty904

    UNLEASH THE SCHOOLMARM!!! SIC ’em, ‘Liz’bet – HUNT “EM OUT!

    • Daisy

      Liz is amazing.

      • BadKitty904

        Just wait ’til she and Bamz are on the Supreme Court.

  • I Only Like Cats

    Trump has officially lost his African-American dog whistle.

    • Daisy

      At the bottom of the Mariana Trench, I presume?

      • I Only Like Cats

        Yes. He said, “African Americans are in the worst shape ever.”

        • Daisy

          OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHY IS HE CONSIDERED A LEGITIMATE CANDIDATE!

          • DainBramage

            The Dumpster has too many Deplorables, sadly.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Hopefully not!

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            Because for the past 30 years or so, the Republicans have been working assiduously to desensitize people’s bullshit detectors.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Fox News was the worst thing that ever happened to this country.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            You meant, Fox(entertainment disguised as)News, right?

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            My apologies, I forgot my usual disclaimer of Fox “News.”

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            It’s not just Fox News; they also invited in religious nutjobs and empowered them politically. The result is increasing attacks on the principle of secular government.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Uggh…government by magic and a Sky God. What could possibly go wrong?

          • Rotisserie Teal

            and ‘reason’ itself.

          • BadKitty904

            *koff* The GOP *koff*

          • I say (or scream) that every day. I don’t like any of the answers I get. But I keep asking.

            If I weren’t poor, I’d be in therapy over this election.

        • sw19tacotruck

          “…ever, ever, ever”

          FTR.

      • Sheepshagger
    • Tacoclamgenda

      Oh, he’ll keep blowing….

      • BadKitty904

        And sucking.

  • Sassamaphone

    mmm mmmm mmmmm, that was good, may I have another?

  • Brian

    Both Trump and Clinton met with President of Egypt today. Checkout their statements. Something is different. Only one wants to 69 with Egypt.

    https://twitter.com/JenniferJJacobs/status/778128548955561984

    https://twitter.com/JenniferJJacobs/status/778044659746664448

  • DainBramage

    Lawrence O’Donnell is riffing on The Washington Post’s article about “Trump’s Hitlerian Disregard for the Truth.”
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/trumps-hitlerian-disregard-for-the-truth/2016/09/19/1603877e-7e8e-11e6-8d13-d7c704ef9fd9_story.html?utm_term=.9d02d9fde412

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Shame I can’t read it because I can’t pay for every outlet in the world, and I’m NOT gonna let all of them load tracking cookies n shit on my computer.

      Not expecting you to cut-n-paste the whole thing (which would violate copyright), but can you at least give us a few good snippets?

      • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

        “Just as Hitler’s remarks about Jews were deeply rooted in German
        anti-Semitism, so was Trump’s birtherism rooted in American racism —
        with some anti-Muslim sentiment thrown in. Trump’s adamant insistence on it raised issues not, as some have so delicately put it, about his
        demeanor, but instead about his rationality. It made a joke out of the
        entire furor over revealing his medical records. I’m sure that Trump is
        fine physically. Mentally, it’s a different story.”

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Nice. Thanks.

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Same for me! There’s plenty I don’t take advantage of because tracking. My “customer courtesy” cards are all in fake names. I’m enough of an olds to have the whole protect your privacy and it’s just creepy things going on. I know now it’s a lost battle but still…

  • Vodka is a food group

    While I love that Warren ripped off his balls… it wont do a DAMN thing…. many of her colleagues are beholden to the banks and wall street… great theater…. but impotent

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Not to mention the $185 million fine to these people is nothing. It’s their couch cushion change. I think they made a billion dollars in the first quarter of this year. The bad publicity was worse than the fine to them.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Fuck the fine – that’s shareholder money. The people responsible suffered ZERO consequences.

    • Panika MCD

      maybe next time she will shove them down his throat (with votes)?

  • BadKitty904

    Innersting:

    When she was 12, her father, a janitor, had a heart attack—which led to many medical bills, as well as a pay cut because he could not do his previous work. Eventually, this led to the loss of their car from failure to make loan payments. To help the family finances, her mother found work in the catalog order department at Sears. When she was 13, Warren started waiting tables at her aunt’s restaurant.

    Now, let’s compare that to Drumpf &Co.’s upbringing, shall we?

    SMASH THE OLIGARCHY!!!

  • Spotts1701

    So the Trump campaign response to the WaPo is “CLINTON! CROOKED HILLARY! PRESS LIAR!” Of course, no actual refutation of facts.

    https://twitter.com/ZekeJMiller/status/778421054356201472

  • Sheepshagger

    Did Lizzie get Mr. Stumpe in the hall with a ball peen hammer? He looks like a guy who got caught skimming by Lefty Rosenthal.

  • data_ninja

    Apparently this happened in downtown Toledo, OH this morning…
    (all the fun stuff happens after I leave)
    http://www.toledoblade.com/image/2016/09/20/600×600/CTY-trumphead21.JPG

    • BadKitty904

      Well, that’ll make ya swear off tequila…

    • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn
    • Panika MCD

      why did I think Rob Portman had something to do with Parks & Rec?

    • Tacoclamgenda

      If I win the lottery and after great sums to our most beloved Wonkette and ads-free subscriptions to Wonketteers in need everyone gets one of thesel

      • wavicles

        Thank you, I appreciate the gesture but why on earth would I want that near me?

        • Tacoclamgenda

          Ohhhhh, I was just having all these sorts of fun fantasies. Makes Halloween super easy and super creepyscary. Burn them next to Trump campaign sign and you don’t even have to do it with votes. Finally, no matter which way it goes on Taco Tuesday it will be there for the smashing and burning. Again, no votes needed

  • Less awesome news: i am now suffering from my annual TIFF plague. I really need a bubble

    • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn
      • Tacoclamgenda

        At the first bubbly sound I started grinning like a Cheshire. Was thinking just nostalgia and then realized it’s probs Pavlovian.

        • Jonny On Maui

          My RWNJ BFF at the salt mines could mimic that sound perfectly. He loved walking into a new lab, making that sound, and then going, “AHA!” at everyone who turned around…

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Self inflicted. DEAL! (Seriously, I hope you recover soon.)

    • BadKitty904

      I gather we’re not talking about “Tagged Image File Format”?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Theoretically Infinite Field Force…
        Totally Ignorant Fart Feelers…

        • Panika MCD

          Toronto International Film Festival.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You spoiled all our fun!

            Tiffed Irrationally From Faraway

          • Panika MCD

            I put it into the acronym finder to come up with something funny, but the real answer showed up:

            Thailand International Furniture Fair.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Acronym bingo was a favorite pastime at the salt mines.

          • WomanInAMood

            Thoroughly Irritated Famished Female.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Amazed I made it this late. May be a Miracle! Goodnight.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=829mlJiRCIU

    • Brian

      Night!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Pinkham.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Night, Jonny. Enjoy the sunset!

    • BadKitty904

      Sweet dreams, Mr. Pink!

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Dream sweetly and yummily, no getting caught behind closed oven doors.

  • Shannanigans

    Imma go watch the new season of The Voice on Hulu and try to pretend I’m not hearing Miley Cyrus as someone who’s been smoking 3 packs of Camel Filters a day for the past 30 years.

    • Panika MCD
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      OT, but scanning through earlier post, that bizarro Baroque troll from earlier wrote this weird, “I’m sorry if offended you” apology to you. Not that you can’t look after yourself, but this guy seems like he might have some serious mental problems.

      • (((cynmac)))

        Yeah, that one was even weirder than McHitler.

      • Shannanigans

        Eh, not to worry. Its type is par for the course as far as I’m concerned. Thanks, though! You’re very nice.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Good on you…and thanks. When I read that, he went from annoying to disturbingly creepy in a New York second.

          • WomanInAMood

            He is definately an odd little muffin.

  • Catstro

    The giant ice pack on my shoulder is no longer cold (nothing too serious, just a minor injury that never gets a chance to heal) so I think that’s a sign that it’s bedtime. Night y’all

    • BadKitty904

      Sleep tight and dream of kitties!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Catstro.

  • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

    David Barton: Christians Need To ‘Quit Making Excuses’ And Vote For Donald Trump Because He Is God’s Choice In This Election

    “…Barton declared that Christians do not have a choice about whether or not they are going to vote because God has commanded them to do so and therefore they must vote for the candidate who is going to promote policies that most closely align with the Bible.

    “In this case that is Donald Trump, and Barton knows that Trump is God’s candidate of choice based on the fact that so many Christians voted for him in the Republican primaries.”

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/david-barton-christians-need-quit-making-excuses-and-vote-donald-trump-because-he-gods-choic

    I continue to be amazed at the sheer hubris. “We know God’s will, and are exclusively empowered to enact it.” On another level, I’m not convinced that Barton really believes this crap.

    • BadKitty904

      I suspect “bugfuck crazy” is still a viable option, too. Also.

    • Panika MCD
    • TJ Barke

      2 Corinthians walk into a bar, and just start beating the shit out of David Barton.

      • Turkish71

        2 Corinthians… yeah, that’s the one we like.. right? I mean, yeah, those 2 Corinthians are just the fuckin’ best.

      • Panika MCD

        then Two Samuels pee on his head.

      • phoenix00

        Sts Peter and Paul both look at David Barton funny and say “This guy, we ought to write letters and shit”

      • Msgr_Moment

        That’s why they’re my favorite.

    • Spotts1701

      Yes, vote for the guy who has broken the Third, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth and Ninth Commandments. Totally a Christian candidate.

      • Turkish71

        Yeah, but he vowed to defend Article XII of the Constitution, so, you know, there’s that.

        • berkeleyfarm

          well, he’s a straight white Republican guy who “asked for forgiveness” and they so want to believe that.

    • Master Contrail Program

      The last group of religious zealots that were true believers, from leaders to the newest adherents, were the Heaven’s Gate cult.

      The rest are largely the downline in world’s oldest multi-level marketing scheme.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      Davis Barton is a sterling example of why we should consider revoking the franchise from self-identified evangelicals. Anyone that delusional has no goddamned business fucking up the rest of the country with their votes.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      That God the man speaks of always seemed subject to whimsy and prone to senseless rage. I thought they followed Christ who by all accounts was a much mellower dude and, just guessing here, probably wouldn’t be voting for Trump.

      • eddi

        American political Christians want a muscular god of rage to destroy their enemies and reward them for doing the same. Jehovah is OK but there are meaner gods they might prefer. Odin as the god of berserkers, Ares as a god of destruction (war was just part of his portfolio). Any of the Mayan or Aztec gods. Kali is good in a bad way. Or her masculine form Shiva.

  • Brian

    Just going to point to two great podcasts this week.

    One, The Watch, a mostly funny review of a new tv show called Designated Survivor but which includes Obama Speech Writer Jon Favreau and includes some good anecdotes from the Obama White House.

    https://twitter.com/ringer/status/778018890383237120

    Two, Keeping it 1600 with the Hilary view of the week, but also a very interesting convo with Jake Tapper about the role of a debate moderator.

    https://twitter.com/jonfavs/status/777978015447814144

    think folks here would like these.

  • Turkish71

    Wow. She stomped that dude out. I’ve seen Stumpf in interviews on financial channels and he always has this patrician “I’m-the-boss” sort of thing going on…

    my special lady friend Elizabeth makes him look like a little boy whose momma is grounding him for life.

  • zerosumgame0005

    Do it Mrs. Warren, make him CRY! :)

  • Panika MCD

    last plea for some help for Becca. (I may no longer have my Flipnotics, but I still have Becca.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHDGR3vQIcw

    http://www.loebequest.com/

  • CJTX

    I’m not a huge Daily KOs fan, but this piece is awesome (course it’s preachin’ to the choir, but send it to your wacky relatives/friends).

    Who really needed someone else to write a book for him? Donald Trump.

    Who really got into school only with a helping hand? Donald Trump.

    Who really underperformed in college? Donald Trump.

    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/9/19/1571956/-Donald-Trump-s-astounding-racist-projections#read-more

    • Panika MCD

      but those questions can all be answered with other names also too. like George W. Bush.

      • CJTX

        Well, the point of the article is that those are all things Trump has accused Bamz of .

    • eddi

      Who really lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Trumppants!

  • BadKitty904

    The lowered barometric pressure from these on-going storms is making me sleepy, plus the kitties -who sleep with us – are giving me the Big Eye ’cause they know it’s time to go to bed.

    Sleep tight, my lil’ peaches!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEkIou3WFnM

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night BadKitty

    • WomanInAMood

      Sleep well.

    • Shannanigans

      Dammit. Now I have to go to bed. This is one of my “goodnight, you have no choice but to go to sleep songs” now.

      • WomanInAMood

        May you have a very good night’s sleep.

      • BadKitty904

        Ain’t it good to know?

    • Shannanigans

      Reminds me of my dad singing and playing guitar, and also looking like JT. So I’m pretty much done, like the way I was at my first ever actual concert I went to, which was James Taylor. I fell flat out dead asleep.

      • BadKitty904

        Awww…

    • JCfromNC

      My cats love to surround me with with what my wife calls Sleeperon® rays so that my sleeping body will provide them with a warm bed to curl up on in the winter. Right now it’s still too warm for them to be doing that, but the air’s getting (slightly) cooler and I’m sure they’re warming up the generators.

      • BadKitty904

        We can tell when it’s REALLY cold (usu. January), ’cause the kitties crawl under the blankets to sleep.

  • cousin itt

    Former President George H.W. Bush said Monday that he will vote for Hillary Clinton in November, according to sources close to the 41st President — an extraordinary rebuke of his own party’s nominee. The sources said this was not the first time Bush had disclosed his intention to vote for Clinton. http://www.cnn.com/2016/09/20/politics/george-hw-bush-hillary-clinton/

    Meanwhile, and I mean like right now, @ https://action.trump2016.com/george-hw-bush-socks/ : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdCMr0s488M

    “Wake up President Trump. It’s 3AM. Kim Jong Un destroyed Seoul.”

    “When?”

    “Two days ago, sir.”

  • Jonny On Maui

    I’ve had a very pleasent time here today. Thank you. Good night my friends.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18Sua_QTDs0

    • Brian

      good night, but why? Why this?

    • WomanInAMood

      Pleasant dreams.

  • Brian
  • Panika MCD

    since someone brought up Mos Eisley, I leave you with this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLpheN8CE9Y

    • cousin itt

      I resurrected Mos Eisley, guilty as charged. Very cool video.

  • Brian
    • WomanInAMood

      America needs so much. Some tiny sliver of America needs to not be sharing a hotel room with their mother, so that they can play cool music.

      • Brian

        well some mothers are better than others. I’d give mine a chance.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8k-8tY0dxo

        • WomanInAMood

          My mother is very cool. She’s also very asleep. I may be a jerk in many ways, but I generally try to let her sleep. :)

          • That’s probably a nice change of pace from when you were a baby, I should think.

          • WomanInAMood

            Hell, I’m still colicky. Just not quite so loud. Passive aggression has its charms.

  • Brian

    Fabulous, another one. How many days until media reports it, if at all? The guy suspected of bombing NYC and attempting to bomb more locales was only wounded in a shoot-out. But, at least twice since Friday, an unarmed black man was shot and killed for some reason. The Charlotte shooting hasn’t been vetted yet, but it’s just too easy to believe the police are in the wrong. And that shouldn’t be the case.

    https://twitter.com/Crystal1Johnson/status/778422496202752000

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon
    • Shannanigans

      This is the man who was sitting reading in his car waiting to pick up his kid.

      Jesus. How do you mistake a book for a gun?

      • eddi

        By seeing only a black face.

        • Shannanigans

          What’s it going to take for this insanity to stop? Hearts can only weep for so long before something snaps.

          • eddi

            A complete turnaround in how police are trained and deployed. Unlikely in our lifetimes but some things can start it. Altering the hiring criteria and who sits on the interview boards. Civilian review with legal teeth to bring charges and make them stick. Basically major civilian control over what has become a branch of the Army. Without the legal and constitional controls in place that keep our real Army in it’s proper place.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Don’t know about the Army, but USAF SF are mostly pretty good people. I don’t know if it’s the recruiting or the consequences of fucking up under the UCMJ, but there is a hell of a difference between them and the cops outside the gate.

          • MC Planck

            It’s not training. It’s culture. What needs to change is white male privilege. Fear of what a white man with a gun will do is how they preserve white male privilege.

            Electing Hillary is the single best thing we can do to change this.

          • eddi

            It will position the right people to take the job seriously alright.

      • Odd Jørgensen

        Judging the book by its reader?

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Perhaps the cop had never actually seen a book before. At least not one that was open.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      All the stories on the google news page are about the aftermath, and only one that kinda touches on what happened.
      Oh, and they say he was handicapped, but they don’t say to what degree.

    • Jen B_VA

      Arm society
      Militarize police
      Constantly demonize a minority as being super power evil whatever.
      And no one can understand how this keeps happening. FFS

  • Shoto

    Stumpf rhymes with Drumpf. Coincidence? We report, you decide.

  • O/T: So, I saw a bumper sticker as I was driving around today that said, “SF 49ers”. And I started to wonder, “Hey, why did San Francisco name their feetball team after a villain from Scooby Doo? I mean, wouldn’t one of the heroes of Scooby Doo make for a better name and be a better role model for the kiddies? What about the Shaggys, or the Freds? Or, would it kill them to have a female mascot for a change? The Velmas has a very nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

    http://66.media.tumblr.com/a46ce78dcb5a7ad0227c84b8a157ede9/tumblr_nl24zy9BsN1rujxbco2_400.gif

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    Dear God that is a thing of beauty. Elizabeth Warren is awesome.

  • TheGrandWaz00
  • WomanInAMood

    Good night, everyone. Sleep well.

  • CJTX

    Late night OT: So for some reason, the weekly standard keeps trying to get me to subscribe. This portion of the email made me laugh. (The subject line of the email reads “Why “Progressives” DON’T Equal Progress”)
    ETA: This was going to be teh best “unsubscribe” ever – but of course, in true conservative fashion, the unsubscribe link does nothing. THAT’s conservatism for you – “we’re going to force you to eat our shit no matter how much you don’t want to, cause FREEDOM!”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b840abe89d276e601e7645b94dfea3d14bdca1e2be7da3040d596d582b788e4e.png

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      By the same “standard” (a better one, actually), conservatives don’t conserve anything. At least nothing worth conserving.

      • Odd Jørgensen

        they seem to be experts at aggregating white old males. that`s a kind of conservation right?

      • The Wanderer

        Ah, but they do conserve. They seek to conserve and transmit their grubby, shit-stained vision of The Past That Never Was to their children, while at the same time dragging the rest of society backward into their imagined “better times” or “golden age.”

    • Basket of Vagendas

      And we’re the brain trust that brought you Dan Quayle and Sarah Palin, so we know ineptitude, government intrusiveness and idea killing.

    • Jen B_VA

      This works so well with what eddi and thatsit posted just right above!

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        What do you want? I’m not paying you to say this shit any more.

  • Shannanigans

    Screw you, sleep. I don’t need you anyway.

    • georgiaburning

      thatagirl

  • eddi

    An interesting article “The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity”

    http://www.realclearscience.com/blog/2016/09/the_basic_laws_of_human_stupidity.html

    His first law sets the stage.
    “Always and inevitably everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.”

    Contributing to the first law is Cipolla’s second law.
    “The probability that a certain person will be stupid is independent of any other characteristic of that person.”

    How can this be? Well, it might make more sense in light of the definition of stupidity, which Cipolla provides in his third law. Understandably, given his background, he tackles the term from an economic perspective. (See the figure below for a visual explanation of the definition.)
    “A stupid person is a person who causes losses to another person or to a group of persons while himself deriving no gain and even possibly incurring losses.”

    With his next law, Cipolla admonishes the members of society who tacitly encourage stupidity. Most of us are guilty.
    “Non-stupid people always underestimate the damaging power of stupid individuals. In particular non-stupid people constantly forget that at all times and places and under any circumstances to deal and/or associate with stupid people always turns out to be a costly mistake.”

    Cipolla’s fifth law of stupidity is unequivocal.
    “A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person.”

    • georgiaburning

      My professional experience (technical) is that stupid people can you killed or injured. And after a near miss, they really don’t understand why you scream at them. Even dogs and cats understand you’re upset and want you to feel better.

      • Astraea

        Combine it with stupid and ambitious management you get BP.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          And the Trump™ campaign. Or entire adult life, actually.

        • ViveLaDeplorables

          And most big banks.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      My Dad also said that there were two main characteristics that could describe an adult: Smart or Stupid, Ambitious or Lazy.

      Which gives us the following possibilities:

      Smart and Ambitious. These people will take care of themselves and you.
      Smart and Lazy. These people will take care of themselves.
      Stupid and Lazy. These people won’t take care of anything.
      Stupid and Ambitious. These people will actively ruin things, themselves and you.

    • Basket of Vagendas

      So basically what’s wrong with this democracy is stupid people voting for bandits?

      • eddi

        Basically.

  • Jen B_VA

    OT
    It has walmart, it has Texas, it has a disproportionate response by a large white guy to his own daughter. Is it drink thirty yet?
    http://www.click2houston.com/news/photos-of-man-gripping-childs-hair-onto-walmart-shopping-cart-prompts-investigation-

    Bonus: On the Fox link it used to say that the responding officer said he had a right to discipline his child. Why not?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Why in the fuck do these people have kids? Other than the fact that they have to drive to Colorado to get birth control?

      • nmmagyar

        NM Libel!!

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Seemed a little too close since you guys share a border.

    • Basket of Vagendas

      Well, future Walmart employees don’t break their own spirits.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Let’s wed Mr. Stumpf ‘n’ Mr. Trump’s slogans:
    Make America Eighty-Eight Again.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Mix a banker with the Godfather and he’ll make you an offer (on some credit cards) that you won’t even notice.

    • cheetojeebus

      Had you not used contractions you would have said this in 14 words.

      • Msgr_Moment

        I’m just dumbing it down for the masses.

    • Kooolest G

      ISWYDT.
      (88 is a white power nazi thing, H is the 8th letter, HH is for heil hitler. most often seen tattooed on nazi white supremacists in prison)

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    OT: Human turd Donald Trump Jr. once again proves why he belongs in the bucket of deplorables by posting tweet comparing Syrian refugees to a bowl of Skittles: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/21/us/politics/donald-trump-jr-faces-backlash-after-comparing-syrian-refugees-to-skittles-that-can-kill.html

  • Shannondtaber

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !os624f:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !os624f:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash924MarketWireGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!os624f:….,…..

  • dshwa

    The thing I love best, is how she walks him into trap after trap, get him to say something filled with bullshit, then pounds him over the head with the evidence from his own mouth that it’s bullshit.

    “cross selling is a way of deepening..”
    “nope, you used it as a selling point to investors, here are some quotes.”

    “It’s not a scam, and how much I made is public record…”
    “It is, I looked it up, and here’s how much you made while this scam was going on.”

    I wish half our senators came in half as prepared.

  • Following Donald Trump Jr’s stupid “Skittles” tweet I thought I’d share these images with the Wonketteriate
    http://i.imgur.com/FHbE2OB.png
    http://i.imgur.com/cmsI5UJ.png
    http://i.imgur.com/fDX68tL.png

  • h4rr4r

    While this is a nice bit of catharsis, unless there is the ability to actually regulate and punish nothing will change. No fines, make those CEOs do community service along the highway picking up trash.

  • Astraea

    Jr shared other white supremacist tweets as well.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-trump-jr-anti-muslim-breitbart-ukip

    Europe’s Rape Epidemic: Western Women Will Be Sacrificed At The Altar Of Mass Migration https://t.co/BkguApQqvQ via @BreitbartNews

    — Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) September 20, 2016

    • Basket of Vagendas

      In a way, I’m kind of grateful. He’s been talking about running for local political office, so the more he does to move himself into point and hiss territory, the less likely he is to be able to stealth run as a decent human being.

      • anwisok

        Plenty of places in the country that would be glad to elect a “point and hiss” person to the Senate or House. Not hard to establish legal residence, either, in most places – all he needs to do is buy a place & pretend to live there for a few months. Ain’t I a little ray of sunshine this morning? You’re welcome!

        • Basket of Vagendas

          He wants to run in New York City. It’s going to be a little tough for the guy with the neonazi problem and the nativist issues to find a right-wing coalition in NYC that excludes jews, muslims and immigrants.

          • The Wanderer

            He’d be better off running as Town Scumbag. He’d get elected in a landslide, even in NYC.

          • Basket of Vagendas

            Ruben Diaz will scratch his eyes out :)

          • anwisok

            Yeah, that’d be a tough sell, after this campaign. Still, if he wants office, he can get in. Not in NYC, but somewhere.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        People like Jr. don’t “run” for office…they simply purchase the position of their choice.

    • Señor Skwerl

      KKKlassy

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      One time might plausibly be construed as an accident. Twenty times is a love affair.

    • To continue the theme

      http://i.imgur.com/9PiEHLP.png

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

      Boy, am I in the wrong racket.

    • Vincent Ricola

      CNN’s entire broadcasting day for the past year and a half.

  • Astraea

    Ugh, I’m getting Trump ads on YouTube.

    No place is safe!

    • The Wanderer

      People have gotten used to me flipping off the TV and hissing whenever Trump’s disgusting pan fills the screen.

    • Señor Skwerl

      Better than in OK Cupid profiles.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Was it like his Trump steak commercials?

      • Astraea

        No, it was a pretty normal campaign ad, actually. Terrifies me that lots of people only see this stuff and never look beyond it.

        • MynameisBlarney

          By design, our nation is rapidly being overrun by slack-jawed morons.
          It’s like a Hitchcock-esque version of Idiocracy.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Yes, like normal steaks, just lots smaller. Petite you might say.

        • MynameisBlarney
          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Only Trump would make a steak in a pan.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’ve done it before, but only because rain made it necessary.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            And here I thought we were friends…

          • MynameisBlarney

            Hey…I can’t grill in the rain!
            And I HAD to have steak. HAD TO HAVE IT!!!

  • CripesAmighty

    Bankster beatdown breakfast with Liz. Now that’s the way to start the day.

  • Señor Skwerl

    If I had a bathtub full of kittens and I told you that three were thinking of killing you…

    • Astraea

      I knew I shouldn’t have used that creepy pet sematary.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Someone needs to do an analysis of crimes committed by, say, Norwegian immigrants and their descendants. I mean, people who think rotting fish is a delicacy, how can you trust ’em?

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        They are also people who pay $10 a beer when they go out. I could only get drunk twice a week if I lived there.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          *slinks away* I confess, I had a $10 beer last weekend, but I got it for free because it was a bar we were playing at. It was the best beer I’ve ever tasted. But yeah, you’d have to be George Soros to have enough money for a decent buzz on it.

    • Basket of Vagendas

      I’d ask where you found the kindly kittens.

  • mardam422

    That guy looked like I do when I’m caught in a meeting not having done my homework. That wasn’t sheepish. That was downright SHEEP.

    • MC Planck

      I read that as, “looked like I do when I’m caught mating sheep.”

      But then I realized you’re not from New Zealand, so I read it again.

      • mardam422

        Depends on the sheep, I guess.

    • Herdwick Libelz!

    • janey

      did you notice the look that went over his face when Sen. Warren talked about his giving some of his huge windfall back? He practically flinched!!!!!

  • From the edge of the box

    I’d hate to clean the toilet after that guy has gone with the number of new arseholes she ripped him.

  • Dinz6315

    God, he’s a weasel.

  • anna rampage

    It’s okay, we’re all still here, we’re just starting to disconnect from the reality of a Donald Trump presidency…

    Tomorrow will be the day before yesterday, and so on…

    • Amy!

      A … Trump presidency?

      Forget the sobbing, it’s time to break out the vodka and pickles. This calls for serious, professional alcoholism.

      • anna rampage

        Oh shit, it appears I started much too early… Like decades ago…

        Thanks the gods I make my own pickles, that way when there’s a line 3 miles long for the basic stuff at the store, I’ll be set with my tasty garden pickles…

        • anna rampage

          Cat people unite!

  • Suse

    Cool – we have a built-in theme for our dance party.

    • cousin itt
      • Suse
        • anna rampage

          I love this song!

          • Suse

            Warning – do not listen to this while on acid!

          • anna rampage

            I have many of times and I think I turned out okay…

            Pink Floyd Ummagamma on the other hand….

          • Amy!

            You have something against several species of small furry animals? Or Picts?

          • anna rampage

            I love the small furry animals….

          • Suse

            I thought there were devils inside my brain. Good times!

  • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

    I have central air, a dishwasher, and a 7 mile drive to work (it used to be about 30). Trust me, I’ve been worse.
    Thank you for the thoughts, though.

  • Markuserektus

    Do you work in government? Just askin’.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      No, worse yet I work in a technology heavy field. It just happens that the owner of the company is a technophobe

  • Shannanigans

    Funny how you’re busy trying to acquire the stuff I’m trying desperately to offload in order to GTFO of my house.

    I finally got in touch with the agent who sold it to me in the first place. He’s a family friend so I wanted to give him first dibs. He’s been in the business for a very long time so that’s another reason I feel very comfortable dealing with him and am happy I don’t have to go with a stranger. He asked me today what my time frame for selling was and I explained that I’d LIKE to get out as soon as possible but I’m more likely to take a while as I collect as much data as possible in order to make good decisions. He seems like a slow and steady person who’s on board with that, too. So that’s nice.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      cookware? bakeware? silverware? paper towel holder? you know, I’m only 3 hours away

      • Shannanigans

        I have no idea anymore what my hoarder X stashed in my basement and attic. I’m gonna have to hire Junk Boys to come clear it out, probably. Ugh.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      Oh, and good luck

  • Shannanigans

    brb need a cigarette

  • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

    600 was the house, the garage was 240. I moved up with the apartment, 740

  • Brian

    “Seems we’re always breaking things. . .” But at least we found Tuesday!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcceU3qyVzA

  • PUAAN
    • cousin itt

      Dammit. I cried the first time I heard this on the radio box. And ever since.

      • PUAAN

        Me to, and 43 years later even more so.

    • (((cynmac)))

      This was the song we sang at high school graduation as a graduating class. Most of the kids were shy. Mom said you could really only hear three or four of us and she was embarrassed that I was one of the loud ones.

  • anna rampage

    Our main server actually crashed at work about a year ago, after our IT support was telling the bosses for 3 years it needed to be replaced…

    While it’s malicious, sometimes letting something important crash, or choosing not to recover the data, is a good fire under the asses of management to update the needed infrastructure…

  • Suse

    Meh – what’s one more illegal thing?

  • anwisok

    Bur, but . . . Crooked Hillary?

  • Shannanigans
    • Toomush_Infer

      Their fiddler was insane – we spent time on their farm in Washington one afternoon….I think…

      • Suse

        David La Flamme libulz!11!!

        • Toomush_Infer

          Right. Certifiable….

      • Shannanigans

        That’s so awesome! Can I touch you? I grew up listening to this and I have the actual ALBUM.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Because yesterday was GrindThatHogsFaceInIt Day….

  • Brian
  • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

    a year ago (around now) we were in Colorado, trying out their new legal stuff

  • TheGrandWaz00
  • SayItWithWookies

    Weird how the Wonkette breaks and I figure it’s just me. Oh and I just thought of a horrible Carpenters song that I am not going to post. Instead here’s Elvis:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhYtB7pjkS0

  • anwisok
  • Amy!

    So, are we making it worse? This is what the front page looked like just now (I opened in another tab, so I could look at disqus notifications and stuff without hitting refresh and missing new comments):
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/75bcf030a70b97980691b6035bec9b5f7faa25c47b038221d5a780d996ac65ad.jpg

    • SayItWithWookies

      It’s not gonna heal if you keep picking at it.

    • Zippy W Pinhead
    • anwisok

      Shy’s popped in a couple times. I think he’d take a second to tell us to knock it off, if we were causing problems.

    • anna rampage

      That bad ass muther fucker Shy seems to maybe have resolved the issue, as it seemed okay when I just want over to another tab…

      A shot in Shy’s honor for slaying that technical dragon!

      • Amy!

        Heh. 503 service unavailable nginx, now.

  • SeekingBarbie

    I was just about to read the comments on the last post of the day and the day disappeared. But here you all are! Whew, I thought maybe I broke it and would have to buy it.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Suse
  • Brian
    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      NO IT WAS ALL A LIE MAN!

      • Brian
        • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

          I love that part of the song lol… it is so total stoner. It reminds me of my parents being strung out with their friends thinking real hard thoughts and coming to half baked self realizations.

          As the stone cold sober kid listening in, it was both hilarious and sad because that’s the hardest they’ve ever used their brain.

    • Suse

      This is a beautiful song. I was so in love with Marty Balin back then.

    • Amy!

      To quote Janis: “It’s all the same fuckin’ day, man!”

      • Brian

        hah, I just put a clip of that lower in the thread!

        • Amy!

          Bravo!

  • Panika MCD

    okay, since we’re all blue now. when we get the thread back, who would be more likely to at least look up the books I posted if I gave you fun photos of the authors (sometimes with me)??

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I’m a bibliophile, so if you post it, I will come. Er, you know what I mean.

      • Panika MCD

        did you see what I added to the bottom this time?

        and I will post a photo of Rene and myself at the Cloak Room if you can get 14 more people to say “yes, we would like to see that.” course, you could find him on the FacePlant, he posts a new tip everyday. new tips! probably for a sequel!

  • azeyote

    hey Liz why stop at words, put on the stilettos and leathers, grab the whip, and give them that spankin you know they want – the one they need, the one they got to have so they might someday be worthy to lick your boot –

    • Marla

      Please shut the fuck up.

      • azeyote

        what’s with the please ?

    • anna rampage

      I’m not sure Liz in the type to don stilettos, or the leather… Some sensible comfortable earth shoes on the other hand…

    • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

      They’d like it too much.

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Hillary’s agents at work! THEY’RE ERASING WHOLE DAYS FROM OUR LIVES!

  • Markuserektus
  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Do you think that every time we post we mess something up for Shy?

    • anna rampage

      I don’t think so, and hopefully if it does, he feels empowered enough to ask us to take a break, as I’m sure we’d all happily back that request

    • (((cynmac)))

      Nah – you can’t access the server or stories from Disqus either.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        actually, you can by going to Disgust and clicking view in discussion

        • (((cynmac)))

          But those are discussion in Disqus – you can’t read the original story postings from Wonkette. Those give you the dreaded 404. Wonkette is still down. I tried to send Shy an email and it was returned.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            it’s back up

          • Amy!

            Sort of? Looks like bits are still missing, but … STORIES! Om-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom….

  • TheGrandWaz00

    ♪ I was so much older then
    I’m younger than that now ♪

  • SeekingBarbie
  • Suse
  • Suse
  • Brian

    They’re tear gassing protesters in Charlotte.

    (But they keep saying downtown Charlotte, when everyone knows it’s called Uptown. I get distracted by the dumbest shit.)

    • anna rampage

      Let me guess, most of the protesters are, wait for it…

      Black….

  • Amy!
  • Msgr_Moment

    So THIS is what it sounds like when doves cry?

  • Brian
  • Shannanigans

    Let’s just say….I’m grateful that whoever set the racks in the server room did a VERY good job of securing them.

    And danged if that picture isn’t eerily close! Add ten ruddy years or so, make the hair black, the skin paler, put some sexy nerd glasses on him, reduce him down to Fun Size and that’s my little irresistible Black Irish ENFP wrecker-of-INTJ-plans Sexprechaun. The little bastard.

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    This suits my mood with some of the news these days.
    https://youtu.be/O4irXQhgMqg

  • cousin itt

    Time period 1964-1976. Some of the best music and movies ever despite/because of the American world unravelling and reinventing itself.

    Is that what is happening now?

    • Suse

      Haven’t seen a good movie in a very long time and much of the music sucks now. But what do I know?

      • cousin itt

        I get that about the music–I get most of my new music from Europe. Teevee seems to me to be as good as it’s been since Playhouse 90 and Twilight Zone. I wonder if the Trump ascendancy is one of the last gasps of the Old Ways.

  • Suse
  • Zippy W Pinhead

    BTW, we seem to be back to today now

    • Suse

      I kind of like yesterday.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        all my troubles seemed so far away…

  • Amy!
  • anna rampage

    Yay, it’s back to today on the web site!

    Three cheers for Shy!

  • Suse

    Are we abandoning the dance party?

    • Shannanigans

      Prolly just moving it next door

      • Suse

        See you there! Can I borrow your mascara?

        • Shannanigans

          Yeah, sure! It’s the “Better Than Sex” brand and I accidentally left it in the co-ed bathroom at work last week and the guy who found it tried to pretend like he thought it was my vibrator, so…I guess it has extra special bonus points attached?

  • Msgr_Moment
  • Mavenmaven

    “We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCcdr4O-3gE

  • Teto85

    That was fun. The Mrs is willing to lend Senator Warren her hiking boots, W 10, if she wants to do some more stomping. We need 99 more like Senator Warren in the Senate and about 300 or so in the House. Do your bit. Vote, send $ to those in your state and those in other states. Throw the bastids out!!!!!!

  • handyhippie65

    i love her. we need a dozen more like her.

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