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Roy Blunt (r) has kind of a creepy smile
Roy Blunt (r) has kind of a creepy smile

Our weekly flyby of the nation’s senate races takes us this week to Missouri, where people like their guns a hell of a lot — they just got rid of the requirement for a permit for concealed carry, in fact. And even with voter ID laws falling to court challenges all over, the Republican-majority legislature nonetheless passed a brand-new voter ID law via a veto override, too. The next logical step, of course, is to require people to have a gun in order to vote.

So in a state that red, what does a Democrat do to have at least a fighting chance of winning a U. S. Senate seat? If that Democrat is Secretary of State Jason Kander, an Afghanistan war veteran, making an ad like this might help:

Unlike so many ads where politicians show off their Second Amendment bona fides by shooting something with a gun (and damn you, Joe Manchin, for starting the whole silly trend), this ad features Kander assembling an AR-15 while blindfolded, touting his pro-gun record when he was in the state lege, and adding that despite all his love of neat boomsticks, he also favors “background checks, so that terrorists can’t get their hands on one of these.” Then, as a little mic drop, he adds he’d like to see incumbent Republican Roy Blunt demonstrate similar familiarity with a semiautomatic rifle. It’s macho as hell and completely meaningless as a policy challenge (though we won’t be surprised at all when Missouri adopts it as a method for runoff elections). But it underlines the point — as WaPo says, the “metallic clank of each part falling into place accentuates his argument” — that one can be pro-gun and pro-safety. And did we mention butch as anything?

Kander is polling well enough against Blunt that the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee is throwing $1.5 million at his campaign in hopes that Blunt’s can be one of the five — ideally more — seats needed to flip the Senate to a Democratic majority (yes, yes, and if we have a Vice President Kaine, the Dems only need to pick up four seats. But more is better). And for the first time this election year, the Kansas City Star notes,

[An] Emerson College poll showed Kander leading Blunt, 42 percent to 40 percent. Dems ecstatic: they say it’s a R-leaning poll.

So besides liking guns a whole bunch but not being beholden to the NRA, who is this Jason Kander guy? He’s got sort of a dream biography for a red-state Democrat:

Kander worked as an attorney and is a Second Lieutenant/Instructor in the United States Army Reserve. He served as a Military Intelligence Officer in the United States Army, Afghanistan from 2006-2007, and was a Political Science Instructor at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. He earned his J.D. from Georgetown Law School and B.A. in political science from American University.

His campaign website’s “Meet Jason Kander” page (which has has a scrolling design that’s kind of vertigo-inducing) emphasizes his ability to work with both parties to “balance the budget each year without raising taxes and took on both parties to pass the first major ethics reform in almost 20 years,” enhancing his don’t-be-scared-of-the-Democrat credibility. His Issues page, not surprisingly, leads with his military service and his support for military members and vets. He also supports an equal pay law, paid family leave, and — euphemistically, because remember, red state — “has consistently fought against attempts by the government to interfere with the personal healthcare decisions of women in Missouri.” Not that he actually had much chance of stopping the Republican-dominated lege from passing a 72-hour waiting period for abortions any damn way, but the more pro-choice senators we have in D.C., the better.

Missouri’s abortion laws are so restrictive, you may recall, that a Democratic legislator, Stacey Newman, proposed a bill last year that would require gun sales to be treated like abortions: sure, it’s a constitutional right, but why not have a 3-day waiting period, be lectured on the medical risks of having a gun, tour a trauma center, and read a pamphlet about “peaceful and nonviolent conflict resolution” in order to get a gun, too? We don’t know whether Kander took a position on Ms. Newman’s proposal, but he does at least have an endorsement from the Missouri chapter of NARAL Pro-Choice.

And then there’s the incumbent, Roy Blunt, who is not related to the funny Southern writer who’s often on Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me, and who in the May 1982 Atlantic wrote the definitive article about why chickens are funny, but it’s not online. Also, the funny one spells his name differently. The Senatorial Roy Blunt, who’s seeking a second term after having been in the House from 1997 to 2010, is kind of a douche, actually. For instance, in his 2010 run, he made his opposition to the so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” — which was neither a mosque nor at Ground Zero — a central issue, which logically enough led to a dumb TV ad in which the smoking ruins of the World Trade Center are a backdrop for audio of his opponent, Robin Carnahan, betraying America by saying she didn’t think a mosque in New York City was any of Missouri’s business, and worse, that she thought religion shouldn’t be used as an issue to divide people:

Blunt got so much flak for suggesting a vote for Carnahan was equivalent to endorsing 9/11 that he pulled the ad after one day, replacing the image with a photo juxtaposing Carnahan and President Obama, who stood in just as well for “Muslim Terrorists” as the smoking ruins of the WTC. Blunt was a guy who, while still in the House, made a point of saying he wouldn’t make an issue of Barack Obama’s birth certificate, but also pointed out that he, Roy Blunt, could produce his own birth certificate on a moment’s notice. Also, remember how the “Ground Zero Mosque” sort of vanished as a matter of national concern after the elections?

Farther back, in 2006, Blunt was one of several Republicans who dutifully returned all the campaign contributions from Jack Abramoff, even though of course they were sure the contributions were legal at the time, and were simply astonished to find they’d taken money from a criminal. He also winked and nodded a former aide into a lobbying job.

More recently, in 2012, Blunt tried to save Jesus America by pushing a “religious freedom” amendment to free insurance companies from covering contraception if doing so would offend the insurance company’s God. The Senate somehow killed that one. In 2015, Blunt knew why student debt was such a problem: College students live it up too much, with their boards-and-cinderblock bookshelves and their dorm rooms with actual internet. He also opposed debt forgiveness for students ripped off by the for-profit ripoff factories run by Corinthian Colleges, which is quite the coincidence considering the generous contributions he received from the for-profit college industry. Oh, and Blunt was among those charming R Senators who voted against Hurricane Sandy relief, while insisting that FEMA cover all the costs of disaster relief following the tornadoes that hit Joplin, Missouri, in 2011. We’ll give him this much: he plays to type.

Blunt’s’s running some peachy campaign ads, too, like this one quoting Kander out of context to suggest he loves him some pinkos and commies:

Kander is getting support from a god-knows-who’s-paying for it outside group called “Vote Vets,” calling Blunt a chickenhawk who doesn’t love The Troops:

Nothing is certain in this wacky political year; Missouri is likely to go for Donald Trump for president, but it’s far from clear Roy Blunt will be returning to the Senate next January — especially since he has contenders from the Libertarian and the wackaloon Constitution Parties to pull purist votes away from him. Ballotpedia lists Missouri’s Senate election as a “race to watch,” and the Rothenberg & Gonzales Political Report/Roll Call prediction has been downgraded from “Republican Favored” to “Leans Republican.” In a quirky bit of polling, PPP found that if they asked respondents about whether they favored increasing the minimum wage, voters were far more likely to say they supported Kander, so he may want to mention that rather often. Metric assloads of super-PAC money are flowing into the race on both sides, and it’s expected to be a squeaker come November.

They might just have to decide it by seeing who can more quickly assemble a gun blindfolded.

Want to help push a red state Senate seat into the “D” column? Jason Kander’s ActBlue contribution page is right here. And as always, Yr Wonkette’s effort to cover all 34 of this year’s Senate races will be greatly helped by dropping a few pence (but not mike) into the coffee and internet fund. Thanks!

[Kansas City Star / WaPo / Politico / KC Star / TPM / Ballotpedia / Roll Call / Springfield News-Leader / USA Today]

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  • Msgr_Moment

    Your Senate Sunday: Missouri Democrat Jason Kander Really Wants To Roll A Blunt

    Your headline is really to the point today, Dok.

  • Mezzavagenda

    I had heard of Roy Blunt before but never seen his portrait. Are we sure that’s not a caricature drawn by someone at the state fair?

    • Msgr_Moment

      And did Mel Blanc ever do his voice?

      • BosDeploraGrl

        “Roy Blunt: That’s All, Folks!”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Stock photo Creepy Uncle #43

      • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

        They use the same model for Greasy Used-Car Salesman and Grifting Evangelical Preacher.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It’s from the neighborhood list serve of registered sex offenders in the area.

    • Amy!

      Don’t you think some kind photoshop artist needs to use that photo as the basis for a portrait of The Joker?

      • Mezzavagenda

        The Joker: The Nursing Home Years.

  • Msgr_Moment

    “Corinthian Colleges“? Are they numbered One Corinthian and Two Corinthians?

  • lucidamente

    Say, you know what Roy Blunt can do blindfolded?

  • Bernarda Alba

    lol

  • berkeleyfarm

    OK, I want to throw some money at “Flip This Seat” races.

    Tammy Duckworth is, I understand, well on a path to victory and probably doesn’t need my cash.
    I’ve got NC, NH, and Pennsylvania.

    Any others I should consider?

    • mml1996

      IN, FL, MO & NV

      • berkeleyfarm

        Thanks! I had just gotten up so had forgotten my neighbor Nevada.

        • Deplorable Ron

          You too, hunh?
          – California

    • meanlawyermom

      Definitely NC! Deborah Ross is fantastic. Now Missouri, too.

  • PubOption

    Also worth noting – a PAC called ‘End Citizens United’ is running pro-Kander ads in St. Louis.

  • eggsacklywright

    Too bad his opponent isn’t named Sharpe.

  • SayItWithWookies

    He also believes government shouldn’t be making healthcare affordable because it hurts insurance companies (who for some reason are known as healthcare providers) who wouldn’t be providing affordable healthcare to that market anyway:

    The government did get into the health care business in a big way in
    1965 with Medicare and later with Medicaid. And government already
    distorts the marketplace. A government competitor would drive all of the
    other competitors away. What we should be doing is creating more
    competition.

    I just love free-marketers who don’t have a clue what competition is, too.

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      Or who think the government’s giant thumb on the scale isn’t a problem.

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Medicare emerged because a) people live longer (good thing); b) insurance companies wouldn’t cover old people (bad thing). Which of those two things do you think Blunt would fix?

      • SayItWithWookies

        He’d let the free market sort it out — in a Soylent world, all things are possible.

  • PubOption
    • BosDeploraGrl

      Isn’t that sort of like a Republican getting an endorsement from Planned Parenthood?

    • Reddishrabbit

      I see from the link that Jay Ashcroft is running to. Yes, son of John Ashcroft. Any nude sculptures better start getting nervous.

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      I think the NRA endorses a couple Ds so they can claim to be non-partisan.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I’m a little surprised they feel the need to bother.

  • mml1996

    I’m a feeling a little despondent about the state of the top races…I hope we can atleast get the Senate.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I can’t imagine another GOP president with the House and the Senate, AND the Supreme Court. It’s way too fucking soon for me. I need another decade to recover from their last fuck up.

      • mml1996

        I think I just gagged thinking about all 3 branches of the Government under GOP control..

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          It will be like GWB II (the Trumpening). We’ll have all the wars, the economic meltdowns, the out of control spending, but without the “compassionate conservatism.”

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            They keep on using those words. I do not think they mean what they think they mean.

      • (((Gosala the Deplorable)))

        I see a Kit Kat in your future.

        I am so sorry.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Sniffle…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Not sure this is a survivable scenario under President Trump.

        • mml1996

          And I don’t think we should be complacent with just 5 – we need more seats to flip so that we get protected from the inevitable Loon wave in 2018.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It IS inevitable, innit? Like the tides. No one can explain it.

          • mml1996

            I’m just wishing OH was in play, it looks like Port-a-potty may head to the Senate after all.. >.<

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            A decent chance of dumping Grampy McCain here is AZ. I never thought I’d live to see the day.

          • mml1996

            Forgot about AZ. Just hope a lot of them turns out to dump the stoneless Senator out..

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            He should have been gone after the Keating Five scandal.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            I’m not trying to violate any rules here, but I’ve always figured him for one of those who either dies in office or retires – like McTurtle, who’ll never cede power as long as he can get a fingernail under it. Too many people just vote for the name they know.

          • revenant

            that, and the way it takes 60 fucking votes to pass anything, thanks to inevitable Reptilian obstructionism

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          I’m hoping for a nuclear war early on, so I can just get it over with.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    OT: National Review’s Reihan Salam always looks super angry, even more so than your typical Republican.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He has the eyebrows of a frustrated Lex Luthor.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I bet he gets checked very thoroughly every time he boards an airplane.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    “The polls are rigged.” Donald Trump 8-15-2016
    “My poll numbers are great.” Donald Trump 9-17-2016

    • Rick Hill

      Inconsistencies in republican stance and being held accountable…how the fuck does it work? YOu can’t explain it…..

      (Btw, this is an ICP song, the origin. Magnets, how the fuck do they work?)

  • mancitytacotrucks

    OT: I am now online outside. fiber is a go. off to ikea, back later.

    • Jon Sussex

      Mmmmm…hjortronsylt.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Even the Swedish meatballs require some assembly.

        • Deplorable Ron

          ‘Your lunch is ready, but we ran out of those little Allen keys.’

    • Juan de Fuca

      The first time Mrs de Fuca and I shopped there, I mentioned to her that IKEA must be Swedish for “take a relatively simple process (shopping) and complicate the hell out of it”.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Who the fuck can produce their birth certificate on “a moment’s notice”? I’d have to dig through cans of paint, electrical parts, and cds we never sold to get to the shoeboxes in my garage that MIGHT have my birth certificate in one of them.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Russian sleeper agents always have their [American] identity papers in order.

    • Deplorable Ron

      I can. I keep a copy of it in my wallet in case the US border guards get shirty about my Enhance Driver’s License. Plus also too to prove that I am a Quebec Anglo to those who scoff.

    • Zyxomma

      I know where mine is (in a folder of important papers), but only because I needed it not that long ago to get a state ID after my passport expired (too expensive to renew). A moment’s notice is rather ridiculous.

  • folderol

    I really like living in the United States. Please, please, please don’t force me to become an expatriate out of fear of losing my rights and safety.

    Think things suck in Kansas? Multiply it by 50.

    • mml1996

      Kansas, Louisiana, Michigan X 50

      • Shannanigans

        *sigh*

    • Rick Hill

      What? Just because donald, without any power, tries his best to extract revenge on the smallest of slights to him and we here at Wonklandia have hammered him mercilessly for months…what makes you think we are in any danger at all if he had his own secret police?

      • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

        *phone*

        Yes? Yes, just a moment…

        Felix Dzerzhinsky is on line one for you.

        • Rick Hill

          If I were the Wonk staff I would have emergency plans to change identity or leave the country.

          • Señor Skwerl

            I plan to shave off my mustache.

          • (((Gosala the Deplorable)))

            Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!111!!

          • Rick Hill

            Send it to DR, she needs a disguise. She’ll spend her days wondering the land, untl the day comes that she confronts the usurper trump and takes back what is rightfully ours. Seriously, she has an awesome backstory

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Dzerzhinksky? I barely knew her!

  • memzilla

    Speaking of political pandering, here’s the best tweet about Trump calling NY explosion a “bomb” before NYFD did.
    .

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      OMG, it’s almost worth getting on the Tweeters to follow Keith Olbermann! He’s just wonderfully vicious toward Fanta Hitler and I love it so!

      • mml1996

        Am I glad to see Keith Olbermann back in video form (GQ Videos, but still)!

      • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

        He was brilliant during the Shrub admin.

      • (((JustPixelz)))

        I will check him out. I like @realDenaldTrump who tweets in the style of Trump. Seeing Trump’s fans fall for it is both disturbing and entertaining.

        • Jon Sussex

          It won’t be easy, the hat-check girl got them hopelessly scrambled.

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      He is undoubtedly getting many letters and telegrams congratulating him for predicting it. .

  • proudgrampa

    As one who was born and partly raised in the Kansas City MO area, I am proud to say that I no longer live there.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Sure he gets praise for advertising his ‘weapon’, but I get nothing but grief from advertising my ‘gun’.”
    — Anthony Weiner

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Show yourself out, please!

  • Fartknocker

    I think Jason’s strategy should be used on the floor of legislative house for any fucktard wanting to push NRAs dick down my throat. Can you show us Mr. legislator how much do you know about weapons? Please demonstrate how you would ensure the weapon is safe and what will occur if it malfunctions. Your performance will be evaluated by a State law enforcement officer who is also a Ranger Master for qualifying other police officers. If you can’t – then sit in the corner and STFU. (I suspect this comment may bring some drama and if so, it wasn’t my goal).

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      Says the guy who brought us the $arah Palin channel . . . .

    • Shannanigans

      Can we make politicians take a similar test before discussing never mind passing legislation related to reproductive issues? I’m so fucking sick of gynoticians.

      • Celtic_GnomePlorable

        I’d be happy if they were forced to take a piss test like all the peons before they can be sworn in.

  • Nockular cavity

    “It’s macho as hell and completely meaningless as a policy challenge”

    It’s also called “politics,” and I pray for the day that more liberals discover it.

    Jill Stein is there for those don’t want to get any icky politics on them.

    • Astraea

      Democrats get way more criticism for engaging in politics than the Republicans. But it would certainly be nice if they didn’t get a lot of that criticism from the lefties.

    • Señor Skwerl

      Exactly. Rather than spray paint, she needed to show up in a fully-armed and operational military exoskeleton.

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    OT, y’all, but I’m sitting in my house watching a hummingbird on my porch, which is all nice and drippy because we finally got a huge rain yesterday, which we desperately needed. Drinking coffee and reading Wonkette . . . life is good.

    • mml1996

      And here I am waiting for the rain to GO AWAY along with the cold….

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        This is the first we’ve had since August. :(
        So send your extra, in a leak-proof bag, to Good_Gawd_Yall, Gobi Desert, Kentucky.

        • mml1996

          How many stermps do I need to send it from Fawkner, VIC AU?

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            A metric fucktonne, I expect!

          • mml1996

            Well, either way – I’m clamoring to head back to my real home and sit on outdoor balcony that literally faces a valley…

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Holy crap! A hummer was just at our deck!

      • Shannanigans

        You must have some very open minded neighbors.

        • Rick Hill

          Giggity giggity

      • Jon Sussex

        I only come here for the deck jokes.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Needz moar upfists!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        On a wonderful morning like this
        When the sun is as big as a yellow balloon
        Even the hummers are humming in tune
        On a wonderful morning like this

      • Msgr_Moment

        ME NEXT!!!!!
        I mean, don’t bogart that hummer.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          Now there’s a noisy Downy Woodpecker in the tree. Let’s see you make a dirty joke out of that, smarty pants.

          • Msgr_Moment

            No noisy pecker for me, just the hummer, please.

          • Basket full of Bozilingus

            We really should not be discussing your morning wood pecker.

          • Jon Sussex

            Morning wood. Heheh.

          • Doug Langley

            You really should know better than that.

          • ahughes798

            At least it’s not a Hairy Woodpecker.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Awesome. I just checked our local weather and noticed the weather geeks are calling for rain tomorrow in SoCal. I don’t think it’s rained in my area since February. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

    • kareemachan

      I thought for sure you live in the PNW, as we also had a huge rain yesterday, AND I have been watching hummingbirds checking out my hanging plants. Only woodpecker I’ve heard this morning is a pileated – and their call is something I imagine you would hear at Jurassic Park.

  • Painter of Deplorables

    I’d like to see a Republican candidate in a blue state try to get votes by performing an abortion on themselves blindfolded.

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      You owe me a keyboard.

    • Jon Sussex

      Think of the butt babbies.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    If comments were allowed on Wonkette, would there be a three day waiting period and a pamphlet on why we should be outside getting some fresh air instead?

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Would I need to be probed? Um … asking for a friend.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Luckily, Donna Rose is too young to be a proctologist.

        • Doug Langley

          I dunno . . . she looks too close to an alien grey for my comfort.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Plus a mandatory visit to a mental hospital where other wouid-be Wonkette commenters are being held for evaluation.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Three-day waiting period might be a good thing for me – I’m always realizing way too late what funny thing I should have said.

      • Señor Skwerl

        I always post when drunk so maybe that is a good policy

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Assuming you won’t be drunk again three days later, that is…

          • Deplorable Ron

            Why would anyone make an assumption like that?

    • Doug Langley

      Put on pants first so the neighbors don’t complain.

  • chiefkurtz

    One of the unfortunate byproducts of the deceased Mel Carnahan’s victory was it allowed his opponent, John Ashcroft to assume another, and as it happens, more consequential job.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Pipe bomb down the shore. Explosion in NYC. Someone I know witnessed the NYPD shooting the guy with the meat cleaver. This place is nuts.

    • Rick Hill

      I expect it to get worse. trump has been telling his supporters that it all comes down to right here, right now and it echoes the rightwing noise machine has done for years. The less stable(too easy, make a different joke) of the right will take action into their hands. I am surprised no lone wolves haven’t tried to fake their own terrorist attack just to help the cause.

      • Shannanigans

        How do you even live in your brain? Not that I think you’re wrong, just…it sounds so bleak.

        • Rick Hill

          Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Assides, I’m a little ray of sunshine. When you start looking at all the real doomsday scenarios that are way past due to occur then it’s even more depressing. Heck you don’t even want to think about how this is defining our society, the non stop chatter being used to help the fringes and the few. When you look at how every aspect of our lives from day to day, entertainment, education, work expectations…all are being examined, extrapolated, algorithms…we are entering a Future Shock that Toffler never even foresaw. Yeah, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. Don’t worry, be happy(not going to go into what that song is really about…)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Plus, there’s the inevitable massive landslide in the Canary Islands that will trigger the Tsunami of Death. Between that and the Pacific NW mega-quake, Arizona will be the only place left standing. And I’ve not some nice property I’d be willing to sell you….

          • Rick Hill

            What happens when the 5000 year spawning cycle of the Mongolian Death Worm happens and untold billions spill from the ground, appearing in every country to devour and lay eggs in the remains of it’s victims? It’s about fifty years overdue, you know

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Then there’s the upcoming Nickelback world tour…

          • Rick Hill

            Mah gawd!! With One Direction opening!!!!

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            YOU MONSTER!

          • Rick Hill

            Some things are too terrible to imagine

          • eggsacklywright

            The horror…the horror…

          • kareemachan

            Yeah, combine that with the re-emergence of Cthulhu, and it will be one helluva mess.

          • Deplorable Ron

            Nickelback AND One Direction? Even I’m not that evil. Wake me again when they’re done.
            – Cthulhu

          • Ghenghis McCann

            But imagine the surfing.

          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            I live in San Francisco.
            Nuff said.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The thought of being forced to live out one’s days in Arizona should terrify anyone.

          • revenant

            even Arizona won’t be safe when the Yellowstone mega-volcano blows, and it’s overdue

          • Doug Langley

            “Luthor Springs. Marina del Lex. Otisburg. Otisburg? OTISBURG???

          • Celtic_GnomePlorable

            AZ will be standing until the giant volcano under Yellowstone blows. That’s supposed to take out most of the North American continent.

          • Shannanigans

            Welp, it’s a nice day I have the windows open with a cool breeze drifting in so I’m going to put on some bossa nova and start sorting stuff out in preparation for moving and pretend none of that other stuff is happening. Just like I’m supposed to.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Getz/Gilberto won’t save you.

          • Shannanigans

            LALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU

          • Rick Hill
          • Shannanigans

            Oh, very nice! I ran that through the wireless speakers (I’m on my phone).

          • Rick Hill

            Just for you, Sunshine.

            Hey! Hey! The rest of you stop listening! Right now!! Grumble gumble

          • revenant

            won’t save you, but will ease the slide into the abyss, some.

          • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

            The lack of perspective is what appalls me. 3000 dead on 9/11 – a dreadful tragedy, no question, and one that demanded a response. But about 10 times as many die by firearms every year, and the response is to make it easier to obtain them! Imagine what things would be like in America if 30,000 people were dying in terrorist attacks every year!

          • Deplorable Ron

            When I’m President, you won’t need to imagine it.
            – DJT, God-Emperor of America

      • I Only Like Cats

        A whole bunch of things happened last night and my first thought was they sounded so inept it reminded me of Trump supporters and my suspicions have not been abated, as yet.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        It’s interesting to speculate how the press would handle the story if it turned out that overzealous Trumpanzees wanting to give his message of fear and paranoia a boost were behind the dumpster bombing.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I left NYC in the mid nineties, and I can honestly say I haven’t missed it too much.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Trump “knew” it was a bomb before the smoke cleared and he’s no psychic as far as I know.

      • Astraea

        THat was weird, right? I’m not saying it means anything. It was just weird.

        • Good_Trouble_Yall

          Nah, just typical. Cheeto Benito calls it a bombing, says “we’ve gotta get tougher,” as if nobody’s doing a single damn thing about terrorists, as if bombs are going off like it’s Northern Ireland in the 80’s, and his Trumpanzees lick it up and beg for more. They want a strongman and he has to pretend he is one, as if he wouldn’t be pissing himself and weeping behind a desk if a bomb actually went off anywhere near him.

          • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

            One wonders how his “we’ve gotta get tougher” rhetoric would translate into action if (god forbid), the stupid bastard were elected and there was an actual, serious attack. Who would he want to nuke?

          • Rick Hill

            No nukes, just police state

          • Deplorable Ron

            I so want to sneak up behind him and pop a paper bag. Yes, I know the Secret Service has no sense of humour.

        • Walter Wellstone

          But it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Madam Trumpski, knows all, sees all.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Psychic, Psychopath: Potato, Potahto.

      • William_C_Diaz

        Ignorant people are always more sure than people who are well informed on a topic. Trump is so stupid, he doesnt even know how stupid he is. Narcissism and ‘Dunning Krueger’ are an ugly combination.

        Have a great day!

  • Me not sure

    Don’t forget that Blunt is totally bought and paid for by “shut up and eat it” Monsanto.

    • Zyxomma

      Indeed. That’s why I knew his name. I knew Kander’s name because I’m besieged by fundraising emails from Democrats nationwide, which is depressing because I still haven’t found work.

      • Me not sure

        Good luck.

  • JVisconti

    Roy’s new millennial outreach message is Blunt is the Dope.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    If the press has the grapes, the next time Trump has a press conference, don’t ask any questions. Just stare at him.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Point and laugh.

      • Walter Wellstone

        Yeah, that. He’ll have a yooge meltdown.

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        Or stand there and fiddle with their phones, like they’ve got somewhere better to be. If they need a model for this they can borrow any teenager at dinner with parents.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          So thankful drublic jr.’s teenage years predated this phenomenon.

        • kareemachan

          Or play Pokemon Go.

          • Deplorable Ron

            Gotta Trump ’em all!

    • Rick Hill

      Nah. donald doesn’t need anything more than an open mic for him to start talking abouthis awesomeness

    • weejee

      Just get up and leave.

    • I Only Like Cats

      I just want them to ask, “What are you hiding in your taxes?” and then, “Ok, but why are you lying? Would you stop constantly lying as president?” and then laugh at his word salad. He’d probably throw a tantrum after that, it’d be great.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      They don’t have the grapes.

  • Ranina

    But can Jason cook bacon on it?

  • weejee

    outside group called “Vote Vets,” calling Blunt a chickenhawk who doesn’t love The Troops

    A Replican Chickenhawk?

    / faints

    • The Wanderer

      Say it ain’t so!

    • William_C_Diaz

      Is there any other kind?

      Have a great day!

  • Daisy

    *grits teeth* Living it up? No actually, Roy, I constantly worry about how the hell I’m going to pay for four years at this place.

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      Just because you couldn’t get laid in college with a bag over your head, Roy, is no reason to be ugly to the young’uns.

      • Daisy

        *gigglesnort*

    • Astraea

      Whatever you do, make sure you put your gun in your holster, and not your dildo! You wouldn’t want to do something irresponsible with it.

      http://noodlesviewdles.tumblr.com/post/150582302111/thedailyshow-students-at-the-university-of

    • William_C_Diaz

      There are an awful lot of new motorcycles and nice cars in the student’s parking lots and hundreds of millions of financial aid dollars spent in spring break places. There is plenty of blame for the costs of college and for the excesses of college students to go around.

      I last taught at a travesty of a state school in the state that Bernie represents, so when you young’uns were all excited about his lies and misrepresentations, I was chuckling. Our flagship state university is in effect a private school, with only a little more in state representation (19%) than Harvard (15%), costing more than Harvard for out of state students.

      Our educational system is in many ways broke and needs major reform. But if the problems are going to be addressed honestly, the people who spend too much for their educations are going to have to accept their share of responsibility for their ballooning debt.

      Have a great day!

      • (((cynmac)))

        Actually, I blame employers who require college degrees for jobs that don’t require college degrees for leading people to have to gain college degrees who don’t really want college degrees. I applaud Daisy for pursuing an education because she wants an education. Many kids are giving up on the “American Dream”.

      • yyyaz

        Count me lucky that I never had to take a class from you.

      • kareemachan

        Love your fact-filled, citation-heavy post about college parking lots.

      • Lynn A Myers

        Your posts indicate to me at least that you are a very negative man. I hope things improve for you so you can look at life a little more joyously.

  • Shannanigans

    Later, Wonkers. I’m inspired to get some stuff done today now that I have something to look forward to and PLAN!

    I like plans.

    • Señor Skwerl

      Good luck on that trebuchet!

      • Shannanigans

        Say, that would be a novel way to clear the house! And fun!

        Also, I’m having trouble getting up. And the Snake Oil Bulletin is there. Dammit.

      • weejee

        A catapult with an elbow, clever that.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I am moving also too, one week from Friday. I have not moved in thirty years. My evil ex can suck it for making me do this.

      • Shannanigans

        I’m sorry you’re moving involuntarily. I’m moving and very happy about it. It’s going to take several months, though. But it’ll be worth it.

    • phoenix00
  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Roy Blunt – “I am shocked to see my opponent having husseys do commercials for him. Loose morals, we know what they want from the troops!”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And Roy Blunt demonstrates his fucking civilian sliminess as the troops absolutely adore women with “loose morals”.

      • William_C_Diaz

        Im sorry, but as a male who survives only because of the distaff half, I have a HUGE problem with the idea of ‘slut shaming’. Coming to the realization that my daughter was not also my wife’s daughter, I banned the use of the word ‘slut’ from my home.

        On reflection afterwards and based on my own evaluation of ‘sex positive’ behavior, we now refer to people willing to share the bounty of life with others as ‘generous’.

        Have a great day!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Oh, I have no use for slut shaming, either. But this guy is high if he thinks the troops (seeing as he’s never been one, the draft dodging chickenhawk shit) will turn down some woman if she has “loose morals”, that is, a normal libido.

  • Juan de Fuca

    A couple of years ago I told a gun humping troll in one of Kaili’s posts that I could disassemble and reassemble an AR-15 blindfolded and in shorter time than it would take him to figure out how to fire the damn thing, which can only mean one thing – Jason Kander reads Wonkette and stole my line!!

    • The Wanderer

      Which shows that Wonkette is the go-to source for witty campaign blather!

    • Señor Skwerl

      Go Melania Trump on his ass. Sue him for everything and then walk out of a Cosmo interview.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Or, maaaayyyybbeeee….

      YOU Are Jason Kander!

  • I Only Like Cats

    EDIT: Oh, I read that so wrong. Calling Republicans anti-military is hilarious (and true, where vets are concerned). Would not like to mention how important the internet is to school (it is almost impossible to do anything without it now) but I don’t think that idiot even understands what a PowerPoint presentation is.

    • Daisy

      “Power point? Sounds liberal. Kids should be using chalkboards.”-Roy Blunt,probably

      • (((Gosala the Deplorable)))

        Chalkboards? If cave walls were good enough for me…

        And yes, I did walk to school uphill both ways.

        Harumph

        • zerosumgame0005

          in the snow, with no shoes, also too!

          • Celtic_GnomePlorable

            When fortran was only twotran.

          • zerosumgame0005

            now that is a basic geek joke!

      • I Only Like Cats

        That guy has never visited a classroom since he dropped in 10th grade (and took three tries to get a GED). He looks like a creep, also too.

        • revenant

          a face like a wooden mask. one of those masks the witch doctors use to scare the evil spirits away

      • Señor Skwerl

        Slates, because they clean better with kerosine we use in the school lamps.

      • Celtic_GnomePlorable

        Chalkboards? I thought all the schools went to whiteboards. Senator Blunt would surely approve of that.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Hmmm. Does the term “swift-boating” ring a bell?

    • weejee

      Sanest war vet evah!

    • Stulexington

      I think he does, I’m sure he’s planning to improve the internet infrastructure for his pay to learn pals ‘because college (administrators) need it.” Right now he’s pandering to the “kids have it easy with their internet and their laptops and their ability to learn stuff from somewhere other than their grandparents” crowd.

  • Iam Reading

    The trigger-happy undereducated racist Idahoans also have this right to carry concealed without any kind of training or anything even remotely approaching common sense. We don’t believe in the first part of the Second Amendment round these parts. I’m sure things are going to work out really well at all the drunken assholery events that we have surrounding sporting events and rodeos in this fucked-up state

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      I took my father down to renew his “pistol permit” in Alabama when he was so weak he could barely stand. Five dollars later, he had a new permit, even though he had to hand me his wallet at the counter to get the $5.00 bill out for him because he couldn’t see well enough to sort it out.

  • kareemachan

    TOTALLY O/T, I know, but I must vent. Pence is on record as saying his role model as VP is Cheney the Dick. Honest. HFS.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, I dare say Pence does not have the predatory animal cunning that Cheney has.

      • ahughes798

        And the vicious amorality.

        • Sister Artemis

          Trump will supply the amoral part

    • Barley_Brains

      “Mike, I’m you father…” — Dick Cheney

      [followed by raspy mechanical breathing sounds]

    • Rick Hill

      Maybe he will try to impress him, given the chance. Or is it make a sacrifice to him? On the order of millions dead

    • Shibusa

      Lordy. I should have scrolled down!

      • kareemachan

        No problem, I do it too. And honestly, it’s scarily worth ranting about.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I love that Kander ad. Direct slap in the face of ammosexuals. Here’s this guy who can assemble an assault rifle blindfolded (full disclosure: I probably could, too) who respects firearms and doesn’t treat them like a toy who is for background checks. Fear of firearms is one of the dopetropes of the ammosexuals, and this guy demonstrates how dopey the trope is.

    • phoenix00

      You mean “fear of licenses”?

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      I could do it. We used to practice with box containing a disassembled .45, M-60 and M-16 all thrown together. Contest was to see who could sort it out and assemble all three the fastest. If I recall correctly, my time was under two minutes. Never tried it blindfolded, but I think then I could have done it. May take a refresher or two these days.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Vote Vets is a activist group of veterans who lean Wonketariat. Every day I get something from them (always about fund raising, of course…this is politics in America!) in which they tell me about the latest outrage by Drumpf or some other Rethug asshole.

  • Shibusa

    O/T but Mike Pence just told Martha Raddatz that his role model for the VP job would be … Dick Cheney.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/14aUO0Mf7dWDXW/giphy.gif

    • TJ Barke

      Fuck…

    • natoslug

      Which side is Pence campaigning for? I thought that among the GOP, the Bush/Cheney years were never to be talked about (other than reminding people that there were no major terrorist attacks on U.S. soil before P. Obama) . . .

      • artem1s

        the money guys would be fine with W’s CABAL for a third and fourth term as long as their torture p0rn acquisition didn’t interfere with the Koch’s favorite pastime of shoving the fed into a bathtub. AKA Bush/Kasich with a side of Walker

    • Basket full of Bozilingus

      So he wants to make a fuckton of money sending everybody else’s children to war.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
      • kareemachan

        HOLY SHIT, IS THIS GUY REAL?!

        I so almost wish we hadn’t switched out our woodstove for a propane one. Splitting some wood would be quite therapeutic right now.

        Jesus Fucking Christ.

        • Jamoche

          No, satire – it’s in the Entertainment section. Don’t worry, a lot of us were fooled; Poe’s Law is creaking at the seams.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    I like Kander’s ad a lot, but this may be the future of gun-humping political ads.

    https://youtu.be/AVQ8byG2mY8

    • Sakonyachen

      Im thinking “An assault rifle under every mattress” will be the norm shortly. Soon The Hunger Games will be a training video.

  • ahughes798

    Brilliant ad! Puts the lie to the “Dems want your guns” B.S.

  • Mavenmaven

    Yeah, but if you want to really win over those guys you gotta shoot something.

  • The “put the rifle together blindfolded” is one of those things that we used to do on a bet when I was in the Army.

    • Deplorable Ron

      Just think, you could have parlayed it into a Senate run!

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Sweet Jesus, is Kander single!?!

    • Sister Artemis

      I know, right? Wanna fight for him?

      • Courser

        No kidding. He’s absolutely de-lish and watching him do manly shit like that? Oh yeah!

        • Zyxomma

          He’s really cute, as well as smart. Too young for me, however.

  • Basket of Vagendas

    It’s always a shame when someone chooses to live as a poor carbon allocation.

    The chicken thing is this?

  • FlownOver

    It took me a minute but I came up with the model for that smile: “Where does he get those wonderful toys?”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I feel obliged to point out here that 40 years ago Missouri was a really nice place to live, for many reasons (not so nice if you were black, though). For decades, it had one of the nation’s strongest measures to keep guns from dangerous people: a requirement that all handgun buyers get a gun permit by undergoing a background check in person at a sheriff’s office. All my relatives owned guns, and they all had permits. Nobody complained about this.

    • Alan

      And they needed them why?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They were all hunters, and they enjoyed target shooting and collecting rare guns and killing little furry and feathered and fishy things, and to give them some credit, they did it very well, and they always ate what they killed. That’s what rural men of their generation did. They still do. It never appealed to me.

  • Thaag Tidestalker

    Can I just say that vid was kinda hot.

  • Zyxomma

    Vote Vets is quite cool: http://www.votevets.org

  • Alan

    How the hell does anyone that age know where their birth certificate is? Took me months to get an official copy of mine out of some top secret underground storage facility guarded by trolls.

  • eastcoastlib

    OT but…

    This is a desperate call to arms from Nevada.

    I’m doing some volunteer work for Carolyn Cortez-Masto. She’s in a tough race to retain Harry Reid’s Senate seat against Joseph Heck, a two dimensional rightwing lapdog. Losing this seat will break my heart and could be the key to returning the Senate to sane leadership. The Republican side is spending big here, waaaay more than our side is. They think they can win this one. So what can you do? Send money, call, email, use social media to shame the DNSC to train their fire out west before it’s too late. She will be a solid Democratic voice in the Senate. A key natural ally for Hilz and Elizabeth Warren. She’s for sensible gun control, a rethinking of our immigration policies and believes in taking on the big issues, In short, she’s actually a believer in the novel concept of government working to solve issues important to most Americans. She’s not a great speaker, she’s not great at coming up with catchphrases to please the politburo at Politico but she will get up every day and work to get shit done. Joe Heck? He’ll be too busy sucking up cash for himself, trying hard to be noticed, and doing whatever the Kochs/Republican leadership wants.

  • TimJ

    If needed another reason to support Kander, check out his campaign page. Mrs. Kander looks just like Shelley Duvall in The Shining. How cool is that?

  • hendenburg2
  • Pecker Rider of Pern

    Never one to miss an opportunity to pander to his rabid base, Blunt was one of the 1st among the wave of establishment Republicans to get in line behind Trump, legitimizing a man who makes George W. Bush look trustworthy and compassionate by comparison. The man is utterly unscrupulous. There’s not just a resemblance, I’m convinced Blunt is the product of some dark ritual performed by GOP operatives to bring the Grinch to life.

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