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Morning, Wonkers! Did you realize that gas is $2 a gallon? Thanks, Obama! Here’s some of the deplorable dick jokes yr Wonkette may be putting in baskets today.

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  • Awww… they are such cute little furry engines of destruction and death.

    • BadKitty904

      *purr*

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        eponysterical

        • BadKitty904

          lol

    • Such an adorable way to die.

  • Blacktop Cadence

    The good thing about the Manning case is that a bunch of shifty politicians and lawyers can’t point to her and say “See, the military don’t think GCS is medically necessary, why should the guv’mint and insurers have to cover a medically unnecessary procedure?”

  • memzilla

    In compliance with stated Rethuglican policy, since those adorable clouded leopard cubs have a single mother, they should all be thrown into the street to fend for themselves. TAKERS!!1!!

  • Hemp Dogbane

    I see the war on Christmas is going to be retroactive this year.

    • arglebargle

      That’s a year round enterprise.

  • dslindc

    Those are very cute babby leopards!

    Also, Trump “physical” spoiler: He’s composed of 78% Cheeto dust.

  • Rick Hill

    Imagine one of trump’s shady business/world leader business partner finds himself in a spot because they are a dictator andnot one of those benevolent ones some people like to imagine would be better than a democracy.This guy needs a little back up or he’s going to lose power…and donald will lose some money. Will a president trump send in the US military? Sure thing, taxpayers foot the bill, our sons and daughters die, he makes a profit

    • Basket of Vagendas

      On the other hand, unlike under our last Republican administration, the middle east can probably avoid being bombed into rubble through judicious use of Paypal.

      • Rick Hill

        You’re likely not far from the truth and that’s not really a joke

    • BadKitty904

      “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” ~ The GOP

    • Toomush_Infer

      This sounds familiar…..Shiny meet Cheney…

      • Rick Hill

        Cheney, without the charm and respect for life.

  • BadKitty904

    I note the tyke on the right is reading the latest issue of Space Cadet. A future Trump supporter, mayhap?

    • Basket full of Bozilingus

      Ah, c’mon, that could have been me. And I turned out OK. ;-)

      • Dr.Zoidberg

        Says who?!

        • Basket full of Bozilingus

          My Mom. She had me tested.

          • arglebargle

            Next you’re gonna tell us she had you vaccinated as well.

          • Basket full of Bozilingus

            What is vaccinated?

    • arglebargle

      So ya
      Thought ya
      Might like to
      Go to the show.
      To feel that warm thrill of confusion,
      That space cadet glow.

    • Suttree

      I thought that looked like a young me reading The New Yorker.

    • arglebargle

      The Chucks are a nice touch. The shoe of my youth. At least until my flat feet said “no mas”.

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        I still rock my All Stars!

        • arglebargle

          The wife got me a pair of Chuck II’s last Christmas (I mean holiday). They are the bees knees.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            No love for Joe Lapchick?

          • arglebargle

            Not unlike BadKitty, I had to do the Google. And no.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Not the same since they moved from NC to China. You finally get the proper length of lace for yer hi-tops, but the sizing got messed up. I wore 10 1/2 for dozens of years, now I have to get 11’s, but they don’t feel right.

        • arglebargle

          Trump will fix that when he renegotiates the TPP.

          • Mr. Blobfish

            PRO-Keds were an alternative and I see they are being made again. Do I risk the wrath of my peers once again?

      • BadKitty904

        OK, I bit and googled “chucks”. Though I have no idea who “Chuck Taylor” is, I’ve yet again learned a valuable bit of pop-culture trivia on Wonkette!

    • Vienna Woods

      Science fiction LIBELZ ! !1! And the girl is reading some romance rag. I call bullshit. I would have been reading space cadet too!

  • arglebargle

    Steven Segal’s 15 minutes of fame sure does seem to be dragging on for a long time.

    • BadKitty904

      The expiration date on that canned ham was 1992.

    • PubOption

      Perhaps he could take his buddy Joe Arpaio with him when he leaves.

  • limberrat

    So a very Republican question for Donald. How are you paying for your child care plan?

    • Suttree

      Through unemployment. It’s not anything but a guarantee of something that you could get anyway. He is basically saying that you can get six weeks of unemployment benefits. How awesome is that!?

    • BadKitty904

      “I’ll print more money.”

    • PubOption

      I understand he gave the usual republican answer – by elimination of fraud in the benefits system.

      • Señor Skwerl

        But when Obama does it, it is a medicare benefits cut.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “Hey medicare HMOs that cost more and did nothing weren’t fraud, they were grift. It’s totally different.”
          –Paul Ryan

        • Duke

          Right. A cut to force people off the rolls.

    • Señor Skwerl

      He says he will eliminate lobster and canned clams from unemployment. (actually thinks he can squeeze billions out of unemployment. and companies can just choose not to pay their employees on leave because the gubberment will. )

      • Suttree

        That monster!!!!!

      • limberrat

        **Eyes roll to back of head** So he’ll just pile on the debt then.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Isn’t that how Republican economics works?

        • Señor Skwerl

          Bingo. We have a winner!

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Personally I think the answer is moar canned clams.

        • Deplorable Ron

          The answer is NEVER ‘moar canned clams.’

          • Shan

            You know what? Just to see what all the fuss is about, I’m going to buy some damn canned clams when I go shopping this weekend!

          • Deplorable Ron

            You MONSTER!

          • Shan

            Hey, I didn’t say I was going to eat them!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      tax cuts duh

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Cutting foodstamps? Can’t have your cake and EAT it, too, amiright? Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck

    • Doug Langley

      Easy peasy! He’ll rent the kids out to a nearby construction site and they’ll work for a living.

  • Suttree

    May Huma and I rub Hillary’s feet until she gets better into ass stomping mode?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I’ve met Carla Hayden a coupla times. Nice lady.

  • SeeTrain65

    As long as they’re taking Segal and the rest of our garbage, I’ve got two bags out by the curb that can go. Thanks.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I once had a Russian friend a few years ago mention that Russia could try to take Alaska back (???). Though I’d heard Alaska is very beautiful, I reckoned I’d be okay loosing it if they agreed to take the Palin tribe with it. We’ll just have to get visas to go camping there, I guess.

      (I tried to urge my Russian friend to take Texas instead, but he insisted Russia has its own rednecks to deal with… I tried.)

  • Rick Hill

    So, if we get into a situation where Russia is invading another country. A president trump is faced with opposing him. But. Doing so will mean that trumpco will lose a 200 million investment and profits from it. So, does trump face Putin down or does he pull a Reagan and start a small war in another place to take attention away?

    • BadKitty904

      He tells Pence to “handle it.”

      • Rick Hill

        Or Secretary of State Ivanka

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “You turn that crisis into an opportunity — those occupying Russian generals are going to want to play golf. Who can hook them up with that? — [Points at self] This guy.”
      — Donald Trump

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Trump starts Lend/Lease program for Moscow.

      • Doug Langley

        B-b-but I thought Lend Lease was where we gave them stuff?

  • BadKitty904

    1. Hilz’ response to the Trumpkin’s “child care” bullshittery literally made me LOL. I swear to God, you could hear Hilz’ eyes rolling all the way Down Here.
    3. Presumably the Russian hackers will next release the DNC’s lunch orders for 2015.
    7. …and/or boyfriends.
    13. Well done, LOC!

  • Belasaurius

    Bye Felicia

  • OneYieldRegular

    Given all the fine, upstanding people with whom Donald Trump has surrounded himself, I’m shocked that he may have dealings with criminal enterprises.

  • anwisok

    Errrr . . . the link for “Mike Pence went to Washington to say that Hillary Clinton was deplorable” actually goes to an article about Trump appearing on the Dr Oz show. ????

  • Señor Skwerl

    Placing bets: Will Steven Segal or Donald Trump be the next Czarina?

  • Toomush_Infer

    I figure Donald will be bringing his own TRUMP drinking water with him to Flint. His campaign staff, however, should look out for themselves…

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He’ll be supplying residents with a month’s supply of Play-Doh.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I have to say Donald, you have the amazing health of a 20 year old…who’s eaten nothing but green coffee beans and acai berries for six months — I think I recommended that once.”
    — Dr. Oz

    • BadKitty904

      Dr. Oz, the “Miss Cleo” of medicine…

      • Latverian Diplomat

        At least Miss Cleo was an actress playing a role.

        Dr. Oz is a real doctor playing a quack.

        • Basket of Vagendas

          Columbia Med School is trying to get him bounced for flagrant public quackery, but he says that he has a first amendment right to promote unscientific and medically invalid information so there duh.

          • BadKitty904

            He knows ’cause he double-checked his copy of the Hypocritical Oath…

          • Uh, genius? First A only applies to government. Columbia can tell you to fuck off all they want.

  • Belasaurius

    OT, but Wonkgenda seems to be a free for all, so. I took a presidential poll of students yesterday in the form of a bonus question on their quizzes
    None of the above: 22 votes
    Trump: 19
    Clinton: 12
    Johnson: 9
    Stein: 2
    Most of the students live in Williamson County which is very, very, very conservative, so I’m not surprised by the results.

    • If we’re talkin’ Williamson County TN (Home of Marsha Blackburn!) I’m shocked Clinton did as well as she did in your poll.

      • Belasaurius

        Williamson County, TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Please tell me these dolts are too young to actually vote.

      • Aquaria

        If they’re in college, they’re not too young.

        Implied is a mix of counties, which Texas doesn’t do very often at the HS level, either, so I’m guessing this is a college of some kind.

    • Duke

      Did you ask any questions to gauge if they knew who those people were?

      • Belasaurius

        no it was a secret ballot, so there was no follow up

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          So, no way to know which chairs to connect to the high voltage?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            AOT, K? Let God sort ’em out.

          • Toomush_Infer

            VoteyvoteVOTES!!!!!….and amps, too!

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Did you ask the Johnson people if they knew where Aleppo is?

    • calliecallie

      I’m hoping this was a class mostly full of white male high school students who don’t plan to attend college….

      • Aquaria

        Sorry, but if they’re in high school in Williamson County, they’re most likely headed to college because their parents are college grads.

        Williamson County is where dilettante college-educated Austin liberals go when they decide to move to the burbs. They get there, and their true colors come out, every single time.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I can almost picture those two Stein supporters in the back of the class.

  • ViveLaRes

    NBC has this headline: Wells Fargo CEO to face Warren in hearing. Heh.

    • BadKitty904

      I hope the media films him saying a tearful “goodbye” to his loved ones…

    • They might want to put a tarp down underneath him.

  • Rick Hill

    The other day I said that trump lervs him some Putin so much because of Putin’s net worth. Trump actually does intend to use the presidency to the fullest gain for trumpco. This goes way beyond what destruction trump could do to our country. He and his family are fighting so hard(laughably so but still) because they stand to profit hundreds of billions, they likely want to be the first family to be worth a trillion and all at the cost of other people’s live and freedom. He’s already shown he will grub every penny from the poor, that he believes we should take what we want, go to war and take people’s resources. Trump’s supporters may not give a damn but we damn sure better.

    • beingreleased

      I think we can all agree that what’s best from the Trump family is what’s best for America.

  • anwisok

    Apparently the lead pic shows a young Roger Waters, feeling the warm thrill of confusion.

  • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

    Buh-bye, Steven Seagal. Maybe Russia will appreciate your greasy ponytail.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Who’s Joe Arpaio going to have sex with if Steven Seagal moves to Russia?

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Pity the prarie dogs.

      • kareemachan

        Oh dear….

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Thankfully, dad’s personal childcare policy extends to hooking a dude up with high paying do-nothing gigs in the family ‘business’. Why doesn’t everyone just do that?”
    — Eric Trump

  • ManchuCandidate

    The egotistical narcissist Seagull might think he’s under siege from US Amercia, but his executive decision won’t leave any exit wounds. In fact, it will put him (like all his movies) in the remainder bin of life.

    • BadKitty904

      Paranoia is a helluva drug.

    • calliecallie

      Does he think he’s above the law? He’ll always be the foreigner.

    • Basket full of Bozilingus

      And if he is under siege, too, he should avoid taking a train out of town.

  • Arse Grammatica

    Hillary I love you and I support you and I admire you and I will vote for you but jesus fucking god.

    When you doctor tells you you have a disease you sit back and rest and netfix and whatever and don’t power through it. We know you are tough you are married to Bill.

    Spend a few days with Chelsea and the grandkids and watch stranger things and not talk about baskets and not faint at ground zero,

    Please be more careful you got to win this.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Somebody slipped blue kryptonite into her tea, otherwise we would never have known.

      • PubOption

        Since Putin is a Trump supporter, it might not have been kryptonite.

    • Logic of Color

      So do you, like, own a bunch of stock in Netflix or something?

    • Tiaras&tweetybirds

      Hillary is in a damned if u do-damned if u don’t situation.If she said,I have pneumonia,can’t go to 9/11mem,trumpkins would have screamed regardless that she is hiding sonething.but I think if she eviscerates trumpa loompa in the 1st debate,all this will be behind us.

      • Arse Grammatica

        I know I know I know she isn’t wrong. But it doesn’t matter. She needs an advisor who says not here is smart analysis here is rational argument here is logic, she needs an advisor who says: Listen to your doctor. What if she hacks through or faints during the debates?

        Not the first time a democracy falls in the face of microbes and/or a demagogue.

        (Julian tried to stop it all.)

        • Tiaras&tweetybirds

          oh I am not saying hillary was right.She values her privacy too much.In this day & age,there is no privacy,more so if ur last name is Clinton. .she needs to understand that.I think jen palmieri needs to be more influential.She convinced Hillary to do press conferences,which she did 4 in a row.Media was very happy,with positive stories.She needs to krep the media happy.After the comey press conference & hearing,Hillary should have given a press conference.If she was asked these questions then,Matt lauer wouldn’t be able to ask them in cic forum.

  • limberrat

    Can we get Trump to threaten to move to Russia as well?

    • freakishlystrong

      Fuck. He’ll move Russia here.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Let’s hope he hires Sister Sarah to staff the moving van.

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      The thing about playing those little threatening to leave games is that maybe no one will try to stop you, maybe they’ll pack your bags for you, and then your heart is broken, and you have to karate chop some shit.

      • Toomush_Infer

        At this point, Seagull couldn’t karate chop a head of lettuce….

        • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

          But he’s so macho and tough and wears leather jackets!

          • Toomush_Infer

            At this point, even his jackets are hiding in the closet…

          • vivian

            I was at an event where he spoke once. Either he was on acid or his brains have been naturally scrambled. Poor man. It was embarrassing for all. That said, I’d be happy to help him pack.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • anwisok

      No photoshop involved in THAT pic! None. At all. Totally unretouched.

      • Basket of Vagendas

        Now, let’s see how serious the press is. Do they point out that a Trump advisor is their chief editor’s best friend and they just hired a guy who runs a Trump superPAC?

      • BadKitty904

        At least they did a slightly better job of Photoshopping on this one than they did on the FLOTUS smear last week.

    • Señor Skwerl

      “Liver damage from booze”
      sounds legit.

      • BadKitty904

        Yes, Hilz is well-known in beltway circles as “the ‘Rob Ford’ of DC”…

        • Basket full of Bozilingus

          Is that powdered sugar under her nose? Inquiring minds want to know!

      • Logic of Color

        Yes?

        Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking to me

        • ViveLaRes

          Yeah, I thought my doctor had started commenting here. Whew.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Obviously hasn’t had her daily meal of human flesh yet. Poor thing.

    • Señor Skwerl
    • Shan

      Alien sexxytimes will take its toll for sure.

      http://www.motherjones.com/files/love-nest630.gif

      • Doug Langley

        “B-but he told me the rectal probes would cure cancer!”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Headlines from the future:
      “Adobe sues National Enquirer for hackish photoshopping — ‘Not up to the standards we demand from our uses’ says corporation.”

    • Basket of Vagendas

      Wonder what they were working from?

      • BadKitty904

        So, bad hair IS hereditary.

        • Basket of Vagendas

          Well, why waste a good head of hair, am I right? Do you know what weaves cost?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Is that Trump’s dad? What’s that thing on his head? It looks like an end table that got dropped from a helicopter.

        • Basket of Vagendas

          Well, by that point daddy was non compos mentis, and mommy was apparently hoping really hard that he would go back to his first wife, so it was probably a cry for help.

      • So here’s the thing: Donnie had brown hair in the ’80s. Why is it bright blond now?

        • Basket of Vagendas

          I literally cannot imagine what he sees when he looks at himself.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Please. That was so many marriages ago. Can’t we move on?

        • Basket of Vagendas

          Clearly!

    • There was this old guy in front of me in the checkout lane yesterday who pulled that out of the rack to take a closer look. Then he spent five minutes trying to figure out how to use the chip reader and pitching a fit to the cashier about how the senior discount day was only the first Tuesday of the month.

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    Don’t let them fool ya. Clouded leopard kittehs are deplorable little killaries.

    • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

      So much manocide!

  • Toomush_Infer

    I’d love to see Shiny pull a Rubio water moment in Flint…

    • BadKitty904

      I hope someone hands him a glass of water, in front of the cameras, and asks him to drink it.

      • Toomush_Infer

        I hope everybody brings a glass of water with them to their “photo op”…

  • cheetojeebus

    Hackers are such strange fellows. Guccifer:” OOOooh look at this! I found an old christmas card. Mmm hngggg fapfapfap.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Hacker libelz! Guccifer was a phony, and “Guccifer 2.0” Is a Russian espionage team.

  • Logic of Color

    Wow…looks like we won’t needs so many kittens today!

    • BadKitty904

      HEY!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      It’s early…

    • kareemachan

      One always needs kittens. Lots and lots of kittens.

      • BadKitty904

        Always. Do you hear me, there? *ALWAYS*!

        • Doug Langley
          • BadKitty904

            Interestingly, a recent study found that cats in the wild (ferals, etc.) very rarely, if ever, meow. It appears to be a learned behavior, due to association with humans. And yes, meowing can often convey meaning – of the cat’s emotional/physical well-being – and yes, said meowing can often be correctly interpreted by the cat’s human associates.

          • Shan

            Yeah, I’m concerned about my Vinnie. He’s getting old and talks at me a LOT more than he ever used to. He’s asking to go in and out all the time, constantly pestering me for more food even if I just gave him some 5 minutes ago, and he cries in the hallway when my son (his best buddy) isn’t home. Maybe he’s getting a bit senile…

          • BadKitty904

            Bless his heart. It might be time to move up his regular check-up visit to the vet? Just to make sure there’s nothing physical going on? The vet may also have helpful suggestions for caring for a senior kitty.

          • Shan

            I just took him a few weeks ago because he was limping very badly and thought he had another infected bite wound (he’s scrappy). It turns out he has arthritis! But the vet said he’s doing well, otherwise. Maybe I could add something to his diet to help his creaky old joints feel better…

          • BadKitty904

            Well, if it were me, I’d give our vet a call, describe Vinnie’s behavior, and ask about diet for senior cats, esp. with arthritis. I know that all of the good (i.e., non-ash) brands of cat foods have lines of food specifically for seniors.

          • Shan

            I’ll do that, thanks!

          • BadKitty904

            De nada! That’s why we pay these vets the Big Bucks. And a phone call will be less expensive than a visit. Perhaps Vinnie just needs a change in diet, a shot, a lil’ heating pad to lay his creaky bones on, etc.

  • Suttree

    Hey y’all, I still need help naming my lobster. My moose is cool with Teddy Moosevelt but lobster doesn’t like rock lobster. Please help!

    • BosDeploraGrl

      Larry

      • Suttree

        You are the closest so far. :)

        • Shan

          Lawrence. You can always call him Larry but he needs a FULL name for when he’s in trouble.

          • Suttree

            Exactly! You understand the trials and travails of a lobster!

          • Shan

            He did try to steal that $50 from you.

          • Suttree

            She is forgiven.

          • Shan

            Oops, I’m so embarrassed for misgendering your lobster!

          • Suttree

            So I can bail him out?!

    • Basket of Vagendas

      Well, Claus springs to mind.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Beyoncé?

    • arglebargle

      Bisque?

      • ViveLaRes

        Yum.

    • Logic of Color

      Stampy?

    • mackafritz

      Fred

    • calliecallie

      You could call him Wayne LaPierre. He’s a well known lobby-ster-ist.
      You have a moose and a lobster?

      • Suttree

        Hell yes! My awesome girlfriend got me them on her vacation in Maine.

    • cheetojeebus

      Dinner?

      • Suttree

        mmmmmmmmm

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Pinche.

    • arglebargle

      Mr. Pinchy?

    • kareemachan

      The CLAWBSTER!!!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Crusty Farrell?

      Crustacean + The Lobster reference, not a comment on anyone’s hygiene :-)

    • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

      Fred.

    • The Wanderer

      Homard.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Lenny?

    • revenant

      Grover. or Eloise.

      • Suttree

        Goodness gracious! Eloise use to play bass on Wednesday nights at the bar. She was super awesome and her husband was too! OK everybody revenant won for pure nostalgia points. My lobster is now Eloise. Pronounced el-o-weez. Thank you kindly!

        • revenant

          madam, you do me too much honor

          • Suttree

            Don’t call me madam too much my girlfriend might get ideas while I’m cooking her dinner.

        • Suttree

          She shall be in good company!

        • Suttree

          Dammit I looked at the carapace and this lobster isn’t a girl. Sorry revenant.

          • vivian

            Then you better go with Tim or Steven.

    • The Wanderer

      A friend of mine has a plush cockroach named Bogart. I will leave figuring out the pun as an exercise for the class.

      • revenant

        is he clipped?

      • Suttree

        Between Lizzie and I, we have quite the menagerie. God forbid we ever move in together, we shall need a separate couch. :)

        • Shan

          Sounds like you’re headed for needing an extra bedroom!

          • Suttree

            Eventually…….

    • BadKitty904

      Salvador.

    • ViveLaRes

      Bobster

    • Suttree

      Ok, with all of y’alls input I have boiled it down to Henry or Hunter.

      • Suttree

        I’m going with Henry because he can be the brother of Henrietta the Hedgehog. Yay! Thank you all!

        • Suttree

          If I ever have an actual human child this is how the naming will be decided also. We can all wait for hell to freeze over for that to happen.

      • “Boiled?” You monster.

        • Suttree

          Wait wait wait. You par-boil them and then throw them on an open wood fire! Ya just boil to kill the poor tasty thing.

    • lroom

      Zoidberg.

      • Suttree

        I may still choose that. But I have Henrietta the Hedgehog……. choices choices

  • calliecallie

    I want those clouded leopards for my very own. SOOOOOOO CUUUUUTE!!!1!!

  • Rick Hill

    So, president trump and Putin decide to be a little more efficient in the the world runs, make it a little more to their liking. Agreements are made as to what county will be invaded, what the US response will be, what will be offered if it’s only a little tough talk. Territory is taken over and trump is allowed to have a stake in Russian oil, all untraceable because of the numerous trump companies that haven’t even been declared on the FEC filings. Trump pats himself on the back for a deal well made while Putin has played him like a fiddle

    • Crystalclear12

      Yeah, that sounds about right. Glad to see you’re paying attention.

    • Shan

      You’re scaring me.

      • Rick Hill

        Seriously, the more you think about it, the worse it gets. Imagine trump, his only interest is getting a deal for himself and he has no morals or ethics

    • BadKitty904

      The Shape of Things to Come…if Trump wins.

  • Rick Hill

    The Newsweek article, trump is even playing us, all of us looking at him like he’s just a clown(Ok, he is, but he’s an evil clown)
    http://www.newsweek.com/2016/09/23/donald-trump-foreign-business-deals-national-security-498081.html

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      Still no Pennywise!

      • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

        Explains the comi-tragic wig and silly facial makeup, though.

      • revenant

        he’s only human

    • Joe Beese

      Little too much chlorine in that gene pool.

    • vivian

      Trump’s pea-brain followers are incapable of understanding “conflict of interest”. I was hoping it would be something more abhorrent to them, like he has been having an on-going affair with Jane Fonda, or Trump Plaza is an abortionplex or something.

  • Oblios_Cap

    A) Powell actually told the truth for once. Amazing!

    B) Good riddance to bad rubbish. Don’t let the door hit you in your big ass on the way out, Segal.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      A) Yes, he told the truth privately to the biggest liar he knew. That’s not helping, Colin.

      • Basket of Vagendas

        I love how they’re playing his private denial of reality to Dr Rice as though we didn’t already read the memo where he did exactly what he’s denying.

      • BadKitty904

        He had his opportunity to stand up for what is True and Right. Too late now, Colin…

        • revenant

          it is a pattern with him, isn’t it

          he probably also knows that Charter School thing he and his wife are involved in is a scam, too- makes you wonder just who he speaks candidly to about that mess

          • BadKitty904

            Let’s ask the Russians.

    • BadKitty904

      So, I’m not the only one who was somewhat startled by Colin and Cindi truthfulness…at least in private.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “We’re sellouts, not complete idiots.”
        — Colin and Condi

        “You can be both.”
        — Dr. Ben Carson

  • Joe Beese

    Sean Hannity knows kung fu. (Actually: karate.)

    They’re all taken shots at me first and I’m just––I’m a counterpuncher, I punch back. You know, now working towards my black belt, I’m very close… I finally got my brown belt, I’m moving up in degrees. And I treat my business the same way. If you hit me, if you come at me, I’m gonna really hit you and defend myself.

    https://soundcloud.com/brandon-morse/hannity-karate

    Sweep the leg!

    • The Wanderer

      I know kung fu as well. I stepped in some once.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh please. He couldn’t defend himself in a decent slap fight.

    • BadKitty904

      Rock-Em-Sock-Em Dumbass…

      • revenant

        there’s more than one reason to call him “Lumpy”

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Hannity – the world’s most dangerous man. Don’t take him on.

      • revenant

        e.g., it isn’t nice to pick on the handicapped

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      You’re not a brown belt, Sean. You’re just a skidmark.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Wingnuts on Colin Powell (ETA: and Condaleeza Rice): “They all stick together like that…

    • The Wanderer

      But of course the wingnuts are not racist.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Nor deplorable.

  • The Wanderer

    “It’s literally right here.” Clinton tweeted that to The Yam, and I can distinctly hear the words “you” and “idiot” immediately after the sentence.

    • BadKitty904

      I must’ve misheard the concomitant “dumbass“, then.

    • SmokinGood

      That’s funny, I heard “you lying shitweasel”. I suppose it could go either way though.

      • Candy Apple

        I think I prefer this version.

    • Parchment Scroll

      Right now, Hillary is like
      https://youtu.be/GQK3dLieJ8E

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I always refer to it as “the implied ‘you stupid bastard’ “.

    • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

      We should invent a punctuation mark that has that meaning.

      • We did. It’s the smiling poop emoji

        • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

          Okay, but what about one for handwriting?

          • mancityfooty .

            handwriting, what’s that?

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            Something really old people do, I guess.

          • eddi

            A double exclamation point might work.

    • LesBontemps

      I generally prefer a simple “motherfucker.”

  • Parchment Scroll

    When asked about the DNC contact list and Guccifer 2.0, Putin yet again denied Russian involvement, but called the doxxing “a public service”.

    He then went on to describe the hacker as “a super great guy”, “terrific”, and “the handsomest, most virile hacker”.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Are you sure he didn’t mean our Doktor Zoom?

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Gonna get me a couple of clouded leopards.

    • Basket full of Bozilingus

      Which Trump are you?

  • artem1s

    Is it against commenting rules to hope Segal takes Phil Mikelson with him?

    • ViveLaRes

      Where do I donate to the purchase price of their one-way tickets?

    • Candy Apple

      And Rush Limbaugh!

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      The idea that moving to Russia is a bad thing is highly subjective, therefore, hope away.

    • Basketsinencinitas

      You’re not talking about the golfer, are you?

  • Currently sitting in front of a division HQ for Toronto police enjoying some life giving caffiene!

    • Basket full of Bozilingus

      What are you protesting?

      • The Wanderer

        Since it’s Canada, is it the quality of the poutine?

      • How far so many TIFF venues are from the subway. And for more sleep

      • And the fact that Timmes forgot the cream in my tea

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          That’s what sparked our original Boston Tea Party and thus our War of Western Agression. Don’t take that lying down!

        • Basketsinencinitas

          MONSTERS, ALL OF THEM! TO A MAN!

        • phoenix00

          THAT is the injustice worth protesting.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    ♩♪♫
    Previously on BrainDead:
    Bugs got to Rumsfeld and Colin Powell knows
    W’s retired painting ‘art’ that really blows
    The bugs infected Trump but then they all just starved to death
    This song would go on longer, but frankly I am out…of breath
    ♩♪♫

    • DainBramage

      Awesome. I really enjoyed that show this summer.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It was a gem.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    So it turns out Trump won’t be releasing the results of his physical during his chat with Dr. Oz after all, presumably because the results were so astonishingly excellent that they’re not worth talking about. But we still haven’t resolved the most important issue of the day: Why didn’t Mrs. Pepys release information about her medical condition sooner?

    https://twitter.com/samuelpepys/status/776044745588142081

    https://twitter.com/samuelpepys/status/776050030822195200

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Big Red Flag. Dude’s gonna die.

      • BadKitty904

        I’m not sure “President Pence, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Koch Enterprises” is much of an improvement.

        • ViveLaRes

          Or, assuming it’s contagious, a President Ryan. GOTV!!!

        • revenant

          in addition to being a Koch puppet, Pence is another small-town Torquemada with an itch to persecute heretics. Just imagine what he could do with the power of the Executive Branch of the Federal Government….

  • ViveLaRes

    Real Men are Kind to Animals. -Bumper sticker I used to have.

  • Mezzavagenda

    Clouded Leopard kitten SQUEEEEE!
    thank you.

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    I could swear that’s one of those life size cardboard thingys of Mr. Segal. His face doesn’t look real. Either way, buh-bye!!

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    Congrats to Ms. Hayden!!!!! It’s about time a woman was named to this position. Mr. Billington never held a librarian job, but he was a CEO of several companies so, of course he knew everything about running the largest library in the U.S– into the ground. Sound like anyone running for President, Mr. Trump?

  • bookish

    Cozy baby leopards, so cute.

  • SullivanSt

    So, Russian hackers release the medical records of two US athletes and…

    (A) prove that they both followed the rules to the letter, but
    (B) it just so happens they’re both black women.

    Way to place yourselves firmly in the basket of deplorables, Russia. As if you weren’t there already with your grotesque anti-gay laws and widespread literal gaybashing.

    • eddi

      They were hoping nobody would notice the medications were approved, not performance improving.

  • I Only Like Cats

    Yay for being allowed to conform to your actual gender! Also, I don’t know if anyone has posted this, but Donald Trump ISN’T going to talk about his physical. At all. Because he’s a baby.

    • phoenix00

      But babies have great physicals! Like Donna Rose.

  • Hillary Clinton’s email is literally* the only email that hasn’t been hacked.

    * don’t grammar nazi me. I did it on purpose.

  • DainBramage

    Those leopard cubs are so cute. Reminds me of 16 years ago, when I got this little kitty.

  • Bill Slider

    And, Twice President Barry Bamz, alleged former male prostitute, alleged former crack head and dealer, and pretty much all around straight black dude, went to Philly to energize support for Hillary. He kicked some ass, real hard. Don’t boo. Vote. The assembled masses, they went wild for HILLARY.

  • bookish
  • bookish

    Libraries a safe haven in times of strife.

    http://nbcnews.to/2cVi3Ym

  • bookish
    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The GOP decided some time ago to assign committee chairs ironically.

  • JCfromNC

    When you’re a zookeeper, your whole life revolves around elimination [inaudbile] and bodily functions…

    So… does this mean NC republicans could all find fulfillment as zookeepers? I don’t know that I’d want to wish them on the residents of the NC Zoo, but if it gets them out of our hair it might be worth it…

  • bookish
  • bookish
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