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The senator and the trivia question answer.
The senator and the trivia question answer.

Since we looked at the Oregon Senate race just in time for your Portland Drinky Thing, it’s only logical that this week we’d head north to the next state with a safe Democratic seat in the U.S. Senate, and also an upcoming Wonkette Drinky Thing (IT IS THIS TUESDAY. KEEP READING). So let us briefly consider the exciting race between Patty Murray, who is seeking her fifth term in the Senate, and some guy who’s going to lose, because Washington.

Washington has one of those oddball “everybody runs and the top two finishers go to the general election” type “blanket primaries,” and this year it turns out that Murray finished first, bigly, and former state GOP chair Chris Vance came in second, so the election looks a lot like what you’d have in states with normal primaries. Ballotpedia, which is our first stop every week when we do these Senate roundups, lists Washington as “safely Democratic,” as does everyone who knows Washington, with the weed and the Seattle and the extensive leftish political direction and all that.

Patty Murray was Washington’s first female senator, elected to her first term in 1992, and, if you like counting things like this, she’s the 12th most senior member of the Senate. Back at the start of her career in politics, she turned a state representative’s attempted insult into a fine feminist rallying cry — he dismissed her as a “mom in tennis shoes” who could never hope make a difference, and so naturally that phrase has been remembered, while the state rep has not (and we’re in a hurry this morning so we’re not going to try to look him up. Identify him for bragging rights in the comments). What does Patty Murray have going for her? We’re just going to steal shamelessly from Seattle’s The Stranger, which endorsed Murray in the scramble primary even though she didn’t even call in to their group interview of Senate candidates — although a whole gaggle of Republicans attended in person. We do hope she’ll consider their suggested form of apology:

As insulted as we were that she couldn’t even find time to call in—and although nothing short of a video of Murray lip-synching Adele’s “Hello” is gonna make it right—it was not a hard decision. Murray has been a champion for women and working people. She has introduced legislation to increase federal protections against wage theft, she’s fought to defend Planned Parenthood, and she’s worked on a deal with Senate Republicans to find funding to fight the Zika virus. In an e-mail — which is not an in-person meeting or a phone call! Hello? — Murray pledged to keep working on those issues as well as marijuana policy. She’s also promising to protect Washington doctors who prescribe medical marijuana and get marijuana businesses better access to banking — a key shortfall in this whole state’s legalize/Feds look the other way scheme. A+ pandering, Patty! But you are still not forgiven!

If the effete leftists of Seattle’s finest alternative paper can overlook that slight and support Murray, then by golly, that says something.

Also worthy of note, Sen. Murray has made Yr Wonkette several times for her sponsorship of a bill to help disabled veterans get fertility treatments through Veterans Administration hospitals. It’s a pretty important issue for a veteran population young enough to want to be parents, but which has been fighting in a couple of wars where one of the primary weapons has been IEDs, which tend to result in a hell of a lot of injuries to spinal cords, pelvic bones, and genitals. Murray’s bill would have reconciled an insane contradiction between benefits for active duty service people and vets: The military covers fertility treatments, but the VA doesn’t, thanks to Congressional fetus fetishists who object to in vitro fertilization, and prefer frozen blastocysts to disabled veterans. Sadly, Murray’s attempt to end that disparity was also blocked by the aforesaid fetus worshipers. She plans to try again, hopefully in a Democratic-controlled Senate. Her voting record is reliably liberal, she’s awesome on all the issues we like, she’s got an EMILY’s List endorsement, and she’s pretty much a lock for reelection, unless of course western Washington slips into the ocean before the election.

In the everybody-runs-at-once August 2 primary, Murray was the top finisher, with 53% of the vote, while her nearest competitor, former state Republican chair Chris Vance, got a whopping 28% among a field of 16 challengers to Murray. This Vance guy is one of those blue-state Republicans who almost seems reasonable about a number of things, although at core he’s still a conservative Republican-type Republican. On the up side, back in May, Vance made it clear he would not support Donald Trump:

At a Seattle news conference, Vance, who is challenging four-term Democratic U.S. Sen. Patty Murray, blasted Trump’s views on trade, economics and foreign policy as “naive,” “wrongheaded” and “insane.”

Of course, one of the things Vance considers “insane” is Trump’s opposition to international trade agreements, seeing as how Washington’s economy is highly dependent on trade and shipping and the like. On his website’s “Issues” page, Vance doesn’t exactly endorse what Washington’s liberal majority likes on social issues, but instead says he won’t be a reactionary creepazoid about it:

Abortion, Marriage, and Marijuana: The People of Washington Have Spoken

I’m running for the US Senate to bring down our debt, grow our economy, and address issues like health care and infrastructure. We all have personal views regarding issues of faith, morals, and culture, but liberty means Americans have the right to live their lives as they choose, as long as they don’t impact the rights of other Americans.

Translation: I’m a Republican, and I may grumble about the weirdo lefties in my state, but I’m not going to die on any of those hills. Unlike a lot of R’s, Vance acknowledges global warming is real — but he prefers the fantasy that technological innovation, not restrictions on carbon emissions, will save us. And needless to say, he’s a staunch I Heart Guns kind of guy who wants to kill Obamacare. He’s also got precisely the kind of campaign war chest you’d expect for a Republican in a very blue state: after the primary, he’d raised $293,000, compared to Murray’s $11.4 million. In a huge surprise, the most recent polling, in August, showed Murray with a comfortable 18-point lead over Vance. If only he’d take some more hard-line conservative positions, maybe he’d be doing better. Or he could move to Idaho and run as a Democrat.

Now, the truly important part of our Senate Profile: The part where you get to meet Rebecca, Shy, and Wonkette Baby at Tuesday’s Drinky thing: YOU will see them Tuesday, at Golden Gardens, 8498 Seaview Pl NW, Seattle, WA 98117. We are thinking 4 to 7 p.m. (but will doubtless run longer). Bring some food potluck-styley, and look for the Wonkebago and the nice people with the baby. Look for us near Meadow Point — it’s one big dang park! If you make like the Portlanders did, you will bring incredible fruits and fishes you caught your very own self! Also, bruschetta from your garden that’s so good it’s dumb.

roadside blackberries yum yum yum
roadside blackberries yum yum yum

Want to help Patty Murray fend off an unlikely last-minute surge by some guy you’ve never heard of unless you live in Washington? Here’s her donation page. Or if you want to support Yr Dok Zoom as he bravely counts down all 34 of this year’s Senate races, you can hit the Wonkette Tip Jar right here!

Wonkette Programming Note: Sorry, kids, no Dear Shitferbrains today, because Scheduling Conflict. Yr Dok Zoom will make every effort to put together a very special Dear Shitferbrains to run sometime this week instead.

[The Stranger / Seattle Times / On the Issues / Emily’s List / Seattle Times / Seattle Times]

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  • 9/11john

    Warning, Seattle. The heiress will charm your socks off. Beware the zebra!

    • All the easier since, being Washington, the socks are probably being worn with Birkenstocks.

      • DainBramage

        We don’t need socks. Our feet are covered with moss.

        • 9/11john

          The webs help a lot.

      • gedjcj

        Hiking socks and Teva sandals or GTFO!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Sen. Patty Murray is fantastic! I wish she could be my senator. Alas, I’m not in her district, just a smidge outside of it (2,442 miles).

    • I like her and i’m 3,000 miles away and in a different country!

  • JD Mulvey

    Reading The Stranger‘s endorsement, I’m reminded that Washington isn’t Oregon.

    There, liberals support pragmatic mainstream progressives with a record of helping real people with real problems. Here, somebody like that would be smeared as a war-mongering corporate tool whose never done squat and when’s the gubment going to stop the chemtrails from infecting my kombucha?

    • SnarkOff

      Oregon = Weed. Washington = Meth.

      • kareemachan

        Oregon = Weed. Washington = Weed Shops.

    • gedjcj

      ? (Disqus tells me ‘comments must have at least 2 characters’)

    • gedjcj

      I’m from King County. Sure I’ve to Centralia, but I’ve also been to Myrtle Creek.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      I’m routinely scolded for admitting I’ll be voting for Hillary here in Portland. I’ve run out of blank stares, eye rolling and deep sighing. I’ve moved on to farting in the scolds general direction. Fucking hopeless purity-testing wet-blankets.

      • JD Mulvey

        Those people are pretty much hounding Charlie Hales out of office. They won’t like the next guy any better, or the next, or the next…

  • An interruption of drinky thing/senate discussion for my own narcisim: just left a fantabulous doc about the foundation of Spain’s new left-ist political party, Podemos. Title is Politics, Instruction Manual. No word on distribution/availability but definately something to look for!

  • SnarkOff

    I tried growing bruschetta in my garden, but all I got was a couple of sad, dry pieces of flatbread. Next summer I’m going to try growing dinner rolls.

    • Dinner rolls’ll take over the whole garden if you’re not careful.

      • 9/11john

        Thin them out and make croutons.

      • Teecha

        Tiger rolls are easier to control. And they keep the rabbits at bay.

        • malsperanza

          With rabbit you need sage, thyme, and rosemary more than bay.

      • John Smith

        You would need to introduce a non-invasive predator in that case. I would suggest the Johnimonius Smitholensis.

    • msanthropesmr
      • 9/11john

        Woot! Hadn’t thought about that in years.

      • malsperanza

        Similarly, that old old All Things Considered report from April 1, 19–, which begins, “Morning comes early to the pickle farmers of the Midwest…”

    • gedjcj

      “I grew up on a mayonnaise farm…”

  • BadKitty904

    I had no idea that D.C. even had Senators.

    • DainBramage

      Bad kitty! The real Washington has Mt. Rainier and a coffee shop on ever corner (soon to serve tacos!).

      • BadKitty904

        Oh, so, D.C. is the “fake Washington“?!?1? Actually, you may be right…

        PS – Your icon makes me smile every time I see it – he looks like he’s going for the high note in a Verdi aria….

        • DainBramage

          For your enjoyment. She may not sing, but Willow is a diva in her own way.

          • BadKitty904

            She looks like she’d kick the hell outta Addio del passato

          • taco truck vagenda

            Vin ceee rooooooo!!!!!!

    • doktorzoom

      They used to, but they usually got overlooked in the basement of the American League. And then they moved to other cities.

      • BadKitty904

        Dallas and/or environs, I do believe?

      • Spotts1701

        “Washington – First in war, first in peace, and last in the American League.” – Charles Dryden

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Hey, at we got Damn Yankees out of that.

  • msanthropesmr

    I think it was hitler who said she was a mom in tennis shoes.

    • BadKitty904

      Sie ist eine Mutter im Tennis-Schuhe.” ~ A. Hitler, Munich, 1938

    • sw19tacotruck

      MILT?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Foot fetishist!

        • sw19tacotruck

          Trainer? I barely even knew ‘er!

  • doktorzoom

    Hey, kids, I added a Programming Note to the end of the article, but wanted you to know Dear Shitferbrains is taking the day off, because scheduling conflict. I will try to bring you a special weekday Dear Shitferbrains during the week, OK? No, I will not lip-synch Adele’s “Hello” by way of apology either.

    • msanthropesmr

      I thought Lionel Ritchie did Hello. Huh.

      • ViveLaTacoTruck

        I thought Lionel Ritchie did lip-synching.

        • Ezio

          Whitey Houston’s I Will Always Love You is better than Dolly Parton’s.

          • Sakonyachen

            Dolly got paid for both though.

      • Catstro

        Hello…

    • Well, how about Lionel Ritchie’s, then?

      • doktorzoom

        That would be something to apologize for, all right.

        • Sakonyachen

          Is an apology an acceptable atonement for writing the stalker’s anthem?

    • Shibusa

      https://media.giphy.com/media/n4GD2P8GgOIrm/giphy.gif
      Am I the only one who would rather see Dok do this one?

    • OddMan

      Enjoy your day off Dok.
      Turn off the computer, put down the phone.
      Go outside and have some fun.

      • I am waiting in a line outside (to get into another movie). Does that count?

        • Say. I hear Birth of a Nation got a standing ovation at TIFF. Were you there? Is it truth?

          • Not seeing it till next saturday… but buzz has been good. I am in line for the new christopher guest right now followed nearly immediately by James Gunn’s new one

          • Oooh. Let us know about those.

          • Belko Experiment was trending well out of the Midnight Madness premiere lasf night, so i am hopeful!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      “Dear Shitferbrains is taking the day off.”

      Aw, dang. I really look forward to those.

      • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

        You could go and troll at Redstate or Fox.com for a while for cheap thrill. Wear protection if you do.

        • Jonny On Maui

          A full body condom is recommended…

          • Followed by the Silkwood showers

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn
          • sw19tacotruck

            Bioshock suit?

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            It’s an early diving suit. I think it inspired the one in the game.

          • PubOption

            Steampunk diver/terracotta warrior?

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            Right the first time! It’s a French diving suit from 1882.

          • Doug Langley

            Wow, Tony Stark REALLY needs to work on his design skills.

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn
          • Gayer Than Thou

            I have that exact same outfit.

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            Tres chic, but I prefer a werewolf costume for formal events.

          • wurman

            Oh please, no “deplorables” this morning . . . my basket is full.

          • revenant

            made of Kevlar

          • Jonny On Maui

            Nice touch!

        • Sakonyachen

          r/TheDonald is fun for some laughs. They delete stuff too fast to effectively troll. Plus you have to go Reddit for that. That’s a deal breaker for some I’m sure.

      • theCryptofishist

        Yeah, I think Dok should reschedule that surgery.

        • theCryptofishist

          Or, maybe he thinks he has to give a toast at a wedding.

    • sw19tacotruck

      NFL season starts. DSFB takes leave of absence.

      I shall now be busy making my tinfoil football helmet until the Seahawks game starts.

      • kareemachan

        Go Seasquawks!

        Side note: I saw the first pre-season game they ever played way back when.

    • SnarkOff

      The terrorists have won.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Kids today do not know realize that a proper apology always demands lip syncing.”
      — Miss Manners

    • Sakonyachen

      “No, I will not lip-synch Adele’s “Hello” by way of apology either.”

      If you really loved us you would.

  • DainBramage

    I’m a Washingtonian, who is proud to have voted for Patty Murray about 23,765 times.

    • 9/11john

      Thanks for your service.

  • taco truck vagenda

    This has probably already been posted elsewhere in the non-comments:

    http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2016/09/11/us/politics/ap-us-campaign-2016-clinton.html

    We’re doomed.

    • I’m looking forward to the President in the Bubble.

  • Occasionally when I get all panicky because of all of the stupid Trump shit I see while driving around, I remember: it’s Washington. They can plaster that nutjob’s name everywhere they please. It’s not going to happen.

    Then I notice all of the houses that still have “Cruz/Fiorina” signs in the front yard and I realize that these people have taken Ron Popeil approach to politics: you set it, then forget it!

    Consequently, I’ll likely be staring at the fading ruins of homemade Trump signs for decades.

    • Just like his family then!

    • sw19tacotruck

      I remember seeing a whole bunch of McCain signs in Oregon 8 years ago. And it was west of the Cascades too.

    • Courser

      I don’t see many political signs yet this year. But I don’t imagine we’ll see much Trump shit in the Metro. We’ve got some disgusting, little Repugs pushing for local offices, but they really don’t stand much of a chance. Yay!

    • kareemachan

      I actually saw a Gary Johnson sign yesterday.

  • I Only Like Cats

    As a Washington transplant, I was overwhelmed by the choices and decide to take the “vote your conscience approach”. But I’m happy with most of the incumbents on my side so I really don’t mind them staying in office. Just, forever.

    • kareemachan

      I couldn’t be happier with our two Senators. Honestly. Patty and Maria are GREAT!

  • Jonny On Maui

    A senate race that isn’t one and no Dear Shitferbrains. Ah well, my depression’s been hounding me to take it to the beach anyway…

    • The Wanderer

      I was thinking of the beach myself, but there have been reports that Hurricane Hermine vacuumed up some raw sewage in Tampa Bay and rained it down all over the place west of where I live.
      I’ll just stay home and watch the feetball.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I saw that on the news, probably be a good idea to stay away. I need to scout snorkeling locations…

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’m going kite flying.

      • Up to the highest height?

        • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

          Back in my misspent youth, sure.
          These days, not so much.

          • kareemachan

            Ah come on, send it soaring!

      • Blank Ron

        Is that a euphemism for something?

        • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

          Not today, no.

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    I went blackberry picking today too! I’m not nearly as cute as Babby, though, when I get that juice dripping down my chin.

    • shastakoala

      I picked blackberries once. Ended up in the emergency room. Nope wasn’t blackberries.

      • SnarkOff

        Grenades?

      • sw19tacotruck

        Should have stayed with apples.

    • Jen B_VA

      Why did I think “phone” shopping when you said blackberry picking?
      wtf. Technology, stop ruining life.

  • chascates

    And now we have a new thing for the pack to bark at:

    • taco truck vagenda

      By “pack” do you mean the RWNJ twitterverse, or the “liberal” media?

      • chascates

        Oh, RWNJ of course.

        • taco truck vagenda

          I’m thinking “both”. Because when it comes to Hillary, the media follow the RWNJs the way flies follow shit.

          • Jen B_VA

            be fair, if they didn’t, there would be no scandals and no horse race. Wont anyone think of the ratings????

          • I Only Like Cats

            But Trump deserves the benefit of the doubt when he steals from his own charity.

          • Jen B_VA

            He’s new at this. Got to give him breaks.

    • Callyson

      Hillary can get some rest. OTOH, there’s no fix for The Donald’s bad combination of stupid and mean FFS.

    • PubOption

      I looked at Freerepublic this morning, it seems that Hillary wanted to make the event about herself rather than 9/11 and so left early so the press would follow her, or she is really sick. In either case she is unfit for office. A few commenters were musing on who the Dems would nominate when she dies before the election.

      Also Donald (and Ivanka?) will discuss his health on the Dr. Oz show.

      • Jen B_VA

        Elections, how do they work? They do know that Kaine is the guy if Hillz bites it, right?
        Or, do they not know this?

        • I Only Like Cats

          They do not know this. They think the Democratic party will be scrambling to get the new guy on the ballot.

        • revenant

          don’t know nuthin’, and GODDAMIT you can’t make ’em!!11!!

    • Vagenda Shark
  • Callyson

    Sorry, kids, no Dear Shitferbrains today

    Back to watching the games, even if Los Angeles’ TV stations insist on airing crappy games with CA teams instead of the good matchups FFS.

    • SnarkOff

      Bolts!

      • sw19tacotruck

        Good dog!

        • I had the same thought.

    • The Wanderer

      Go Raiders!

  • I Only Like Cats

    Every once in a while, I think about the fact that my dad got child support for me after they kicked me out and I move to a different state and I get really, really mad, because I could have actually used that money. Just one of those days, I guess.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Sometimes the scars we acquire in childhood last into adulthood. I still have a hard time leaving the scabs alone.

      • sw19tacotruck

        As John Green would say, “life is hard and full of disappointment”.
        Also, too “Everything worked out better than expected”.

      • I Only Like Cats

        It was only a year ago so I think I have the right to continue being bitter. Especially since my dad claims to be Christian but took money that wasn’t his. He’s also a pedophile so what did I expect, really?

        • Jonny On Maui

          I still don’t understand how those who are supposed to love us can do such damage. That’s not really true, there’s some understanding, they’re damaged too.

          Knowing does nothing to tamp the rage.

          • sw19tacotruck

            People are weird.
            But the whole “blood is thicker than water” bollocks is just downright insane sometimes.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I had someone say to me once that you can choose your friends but not your family.

            I laughed and laughed, not happily as I had unchosen my family.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I chose a new family, and it has a lesbian friend in it, which would horrify my “Christian” dad and stepmom, if they knew. (Although I’ve heard my stepmom is getting better now that her meds are working again)

          • SeekingBarbie

            I unchose my dysfunctional family, too–I figured they were all the Black Sheep. Sometimes the healthy thing to do is to leave toxic relationships behind, and recognize that people who are sentimental about “family” don’t always know what they are talking about.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Usually when people say “You should love your family” I respond with “My dad sexually abused my sister for at least seven years and my mom told my other sister multiple times she wished she had an abortion with her, she wishes she was a miscarriage, and she should push her down the stairs.” and they look at me with blank wide eyes and shut up.

          • sw19tacotruck

            And then I bet you get in trouble for “airing dirty laundry in public” – or, you’re a liar/whore/etc.
            Yeah, fuck ’em they’re not worth it.

          • I Only Like Cats

            For my mom people will occasionally try to defend, but no one is going to defend a guy who sexually abused his own daughter (especially since I’m not the daughter). I was in the car for hours with this one guy and he immediately said “Oh well child molesters are unforgivable but your mom…” and I told him more of what she did and he’s like “I don’t know about that” and so I went on and the driver looked really uncomfortable and shot him a STFU look and eventually he ceded “It’s really your choice, in general I just think people should love and appreciate your family and blood is thicker than water” and I put him in his place on that too and the driver backed me up.

          • theCryptofishist

            Family is messy. It’s the grounds of where we first learn how to be in this world, and the conflicts there are deep tides that pull us the rest of our lives. To some extent, the comments you’re exposed to could be from people trying to paper over their own discomfort at the ambiguities from their own childhoods.
            But there’s also no doubt that most (or at least many) people are a whole lot luckier than you were in the family they landed in. Yeah, yeah, on top of everything else, you get to be the person who knows this.

          • SeekingBarbie

            I actually reached a point where I spoke of my family in vague ways or avoided the topic as much as possible, because I began to feel that people saw me as a victim and I decided I didn’t want that. But it took a while for me to get to that place. The parents are deceased now, so that makes it easier.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I used to do that but I’m a really good liar and have been quite manipulative in the past and decided that I wanted to be open and honest. It makes it a lot easier for me that I can still laugh and make jokes about and people will look at me horrified for a minute and then laugh with me.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I prefer the original, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”

          • sw19tacotruck

            Just googled that. Yep, I like that version a lot better!

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          So sorry. Gawd, that just sucks.

        • SeekingBarbie

          I had a father who made my childhood a living hell, so I’ve been there. You have a right to be bitter, but cultivate doing things that make you feel happy so you don’t get mired down in the bitterness. If you have trouble doing that, get counseling if you can–there’s no shame in it, and you’ll waste fewer years getting free.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I’m already free (thank god) but I’ll keep the rage, unabated. It’s my pet.

          • sw19tacotruck
          • I Only Like Cats

            he’s not worth the energy to forgive and according to people who know me, I’m one of the nicest people to ever live (don’t believe them).

          • SeekingBarbie

            Ugh, the forgiveness fanatics can be a real pain. They try to force people into accepting their definition of forgiveness and intimate there’s something wrong with people who don’t buy it. The important thing is that you are able to move forward as a whole and happily functioning human being. FWIW, here is an article that is supportive of adults who were abused as children:
            http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html

          • Jonny On Maui

            Oh my love, please let the rage go. As much as you think it nourishes you and gives you strength that is false. After time the taste bitters and all that’s left inside is stone.

            Rage will not sustain you. The opposite will. Please take this from someone who has walked the path.

          • I Only Like Cats

            It’s ok I’m only angry when I think of him, which isn’t often.

          • sw19tacotruck

            Counseling is great! Especially for early stuff growing up – because one simply doesn’t have the skills to deal with/process it easily.
            I had the 70’s-80’s “rub some dirt on it and get back out there/be a man” bollocks to contend with, wo, welp, took me ages, but I’m in a very happy place now, DNGAF and am not angry – or confused – about stuff any more…. but maybe a black sense of humor helped. :)

        • Jonny On Maui

          What SeekingBarbie said. I’m headed to the beach as I can feel the spiral start.

          A good counselor can save your soul. Friends get me through the day. As with all things, YMMV…

          • sw19tacotruck

            “May the road rise with you.” :)

          • SeekingBarbie

            I’m gonna go ride my bike. That always makes me feel happy.

          • Amy!

            Let’s go ride a bike!
            Climb a tree! Take a hike!
            Let’s go ride a bike …
            … and keep on going.

          • SeekingBarbie

            Ha! A thunderstorm rolled in and I had to pedal home fast! But I was happy, especially since this is the desert and rain is a good thing.

    • lroom

      My mother had my dad paying for medications I was getting at no cost during my cancer surgeries while charging me for rent also too. Sometimes parents can suck.

  • Astraea

    OT I like that Trump’s America music sounds inspired by Rains of Castamere
    https://youtu.be/Rdm8m5taHgM

    • But, imagine a HILLARY presidency! She’ll cough! All the time!

      • sw19tacotruck

        She’ll faint in hot weather! The Horror!

        • ltmcdies

          then goes to her daughters apartment where they keep the emergency room.

          • Astraea

            It was all a fake out. That’s where they keep the hostages.

          • Doug Langley

            It’s like NOMAN in the old T.H.U.N.D.E.R. superhero comics. They just dumped the old body in the wood chipper and brought out Hillbot version 3.71.

          • sw19tacotruck

            Blood transfusions from Bill’s mind control sex slaves.

        • PubOption

          One reason for the RWNJ’s to embrace global warming.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            I thought lizard people bask.

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          Her skin will moult, exposing her lizard form.

    • DainBramage

      Trump thinks he’s Tywin Lannister (or possibly Aegon the Conqueror), but he’s really Walder Frey.

      • Astraea

        That might still be giving Trump too much credit.

        • DainBramage

          How about Little Walder? You know, the big one with the man-crush on Ramsay.

      • ltmcdies

        he strikes me more as one of the Lesser Freys….Allan , George , Sidney…one of them.

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          Glenn?

          • Courser

            Sorry, definitely not Glenn

          • theCryptofishist

            Euro-cousin Frenchy?

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            That was Deep.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He can’t be a Lannister. Lannisters always pay their debts.

      • revenant

        oh, you kids with your “Gays Are Thrown” and your hippidy-hops and your Eye-phones. in my day, we made our own entertainment, and we liked it!!

    • ltmcdies

      Nice day for a Red Wedding….
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLjE-2_Luaw

  • eyelashviper

    OT, but did anyone notice that Hillary passed out, convulsed, hit her head, lost her shoes, purse, phone, and virginity, was rushed to ER, in ICU, on life support, last rites given, then was resurrected, showed up coming out of the door to Chelsea’s building, smiling and waving..??
    More proof of her alien life origins, or something…gotta check with infowars for latest on this yuuuuugely important bazanga story.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I saw on the Internet that she died, again, and came back from the dead. Again. (Yawn.) Same shit, different day.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Trump: Probably passed out from bleeding you know where…..loser….what if that happened when Vlad was visiting and we were giving him a security briefing…

  • Continued personal updates: the escalator to the theatre in the sky is working again and it is not a billion degrees here. Meaning i am not a pool of sweat

    • EEK! Pickwick just admitted to feeling unwell in heat! SHE’S NOT FIT TO ATTEND TIFF! SHE’S PROBABLY COUGHING!

      • Jonny On Maui

        ON LAST LEGS!

        Film all the time, not just at 11….

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          Did you notice her color? Not even a little orange….

        • theCryptofishist

          Hey, when she’s done with those legs, can I have them?

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        BRONCHIALGHAZI!!!!!

      • sw19tacotruck

        Zapruder footage clearly shows Pickwick in three queues at the same time. Where was Ted Cruz’s dad during all this?!?!!!!

        • Amy!

          Check the grassy knoll (pro tip).

      • I am probably about to die. I am obviously unfit. But you can pry my TIFF tickets from my cold, dead hands

    • Courser

      So glad it’s not a billion degrees there! I hate the pool of sweat feeling.

  • I think Ana Gastyer is two rows in front of me…

    • Master Contrail Program

      Loved her in Reefer Madness.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Dear Shitferbrains, We this week are not acknowledging your shitferbrainess….check in next week, or..don’t.

  • Whelp. That’s it. The election is over, Trump won and Colin Kaepernic is wrong, wrong wrong.

    Kiss says so.

    According to Alan West, liberals are losing their minds over this. I stopped losing my mind over kiss the instant Dynasty was released.

    • Meanwhile, if you go looking for wingnut stories about Kiss, you should probably watch how you put that into your search engine, because “Kiss Alan West” might get you some really strange results, yo.

    • PubOption

      I read the comments, antisemitism seems to be more common than blind patriotism.

      • I never read the comments. They burn. Thank god Wonkette doesn’t allow them.

    • Be Gin

      Kiss? Aren’t they the losers who wanted to be the Blue Oyster Cult but lacked the smarts, the irony and the chops to pull it off?

    • Jen B_VA

      aaaahhhh RT, generating controversy where there isn’t any.

      • IK,R? That NEVER happens!

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        That’s Drumpfs new mouthpiece…

    • AnOuthouse

      Do they realize they look ridiculous?

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      Gene should release his Polaroids.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I was born in ’77 so I never really got the appeal of KISS, unless we’re talking about Keep It Simple Stupid.

      These days who knows?

    • Master Contrail Program

      Alan West would know about Love Guns.

  • theCryptofishist

    OT: Some letter writer in the morning paper said that the only people who were allowed to not stand during the national anthem before football games, were disabled veterans. I keep thinking that there’s something he’s missing…

    • AnOuthouse

      Babbies?

    • SeekingBarbie

      Disabled non-veterans?

      • revenant

        prop ’em up, the sissies!

        HARRUMPH!

    • Suse

      Invertebrates?

    • Master Contrail Program

      Man, who would have guessed somebody who still writes rants to their local newspaper would be so myopic and set in their ways?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Like the actual concept of freedom, for one thing.

    • kareemachan

      Yeah, just read about that. It was a pastor for Sweet Home Baptist Church in McKenzie, AL. And it’s worse than that:

      “If you don’t want to stand for the national anthem, you can line up
      over there by the fence and let our military personnel take a few shots
      at you since they’re taking shots for you,” the announcer said at the
      game versus Houston County High School.

      • Spotts1701

        See, this is the kind of stupidity that leads to loudmouths being force-fed their microphones.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    This just in: Trump is seen heading for Men’s Room following 9/11 Memorial Ceremony. Pundits question his ability to hold bladder during critical meetings. Edit: There is no word on his bowels

    • Suse

      His bladder is weak, sad…

      • theCryptofishist

        External catheter and bag. You know he uses them.

        • Beaumarchais?

          He has Christie clean ’em.

        • revenant

          “Thanks, Stadium Pal!”

          (one of my favorite lines from David Sedaris, on whom may blessings flow unending)

    • ltmcdies

      #Prostategate….

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        BLADDERGHAZI!!!!

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        Pain in the ass

    • Suse

      I saw his toadies Ghouliani and Kristy Kreme. Rudy looks completely gaga.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        GHOULARDI LIBELZ!!11!!!!! Oh, wait………

        • Suse

          Well, really. He looked like he had no idea where he was.

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            Did he look like this?

          • Suse

            Less hair and more saliva.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            GUY GHOULARDI LIBULS!!!!! Loved his show.

          • Suse

            Never saw that one.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        But he knew what day it was because 9/11, 24/7.

        • Suse

          I think his attendant had to remind him.

      • revenant

        feeding on crank addicts again, is he? if only someone could throw a few junkies his way we might have some peace from him.

    • Doug Langley

      I thought his hair needed an emergency combover?

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Actually, he had’t stared into a mirror in a few minutes…

        • Doug Langley

          Yikes. Withdrawal symptoms can be nasty.

        • Suse

          He has no reflection and he never drinks… wine.

          • revenant

            Suse, dear, you are confusing Casino Mussolini with his undead buddy Rudolfus Giulianianus Maximus, Imperator of IX-XI.

            mirrors are Der Drumpf’s chief source of sustenance; without them he would be but a withered thing, like a yam from last year’s harvest forgotten in the root cellar

          • Suse

            OK – you win. You have to admit he has no soul, though.

          • revenant

            we are in perfect accord on that.

            and what is this “win” of which you speak? does it have anything to do with mirrors?

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    Wait. Washington and Oregon are different states? Do they exist in a “real” time zone, too?

    • ltmcdies

      actually they are both Vancouver ….

      • I Only Like Cats

        I’m not ashamed to say Vancouver actually has prettier architecture than Seattle. I’ve never seen Portland so I can’t speak for them.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Today, we are all Vancouver.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Why they’re as different at Vermont and New Hampshire (which is to say, geographically similar but culturally surprisingly distinct.)

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Why yes. In Washington you have the right to pump your own gas. In Oregon, Nanny State, the attendants take away your Constitutional Right.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Which was the REAL motive behind the Bundys,,,,,

      • Suse

        But Oregon (Portland) has Powell’s Books, which is so fun to hang out at on one of those rainy days. Also Zell’s for the best breakfast on the planet.

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          Portland stole its name from Portland Maine so I suspect plagiarized books in that store……

          • Suse

            Killjoy!11!!

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            Isn’t that a gluten-free donut place in Portland?

          • sw19tacotruck

            Could have so easily been called Boston too.
            http://mentalfloss.com/article/50832/4-coin-flips-changed-history

          • TJ Barke

            Oh god, I can only imagine how much worse the traffic would be…

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            So, if I read it right, A conspiracy in Portland OR, decided that Orville Wright piloted the plane that Richie Valens died in after betting against Secretariat?

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            Someone colored in them as well…

          • Villago Delenda Est

            If not for the coin landing on the wrong side, the confusion would have been even greater: Boston, Oregon, anyone?

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          Burns has the best Chinese restaurant….if the Bundys didn’t run them ferigners off….

        • Vagandarian the Librarian!

          Best bookstore, ever! I could get lost for days…. and be happy about it.

      • kareemachan

        And every time I go back, I forget and get yelled at by said attendants. We tried to fix that when I lived there, but it was voted down (IIFC) cuz disabled people would be too put-upon. Or something.

    • Panika MCD

      of course they exist in a real time zone. everyone knows that the fake time zone is Mountain Time. which is why we did not get a Dear Shitferbrains today.

    • TJ Barke

      Nothing is real.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Really?

      • revenant

        and nothing to get hung about

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          I hear Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see……

          • revenant

            it’s getting hard to be someone

          • Suse

            but it all works out

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            Yeah, but it really doesn’t matter to me.

          • revenant

            it doesn’t matter much to me.

            ‘ere, let me take you down

          • But enough about Donald Trump.

          • TJ Barke

            You can’t deny that living is easy if you never look behind the scenery.

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          Blackberry drool forever — Donna Rose

          • Suse

            Haha!

      • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

        I approve.

    • snark-lurker

      Oregon is a state of mind n Washington is uninhobitted, totally unlivable

      • revenant

        pulling up the drawbridge, eh?

      • Mezzavagenda

        Does uninhobbited mean there are no resident hobbits in Washington? I’ll bet they all live in Wisconsin.

    • kareemachan

      Well, I’d like them both to be part of Ecotopia, but in the meanwhile, they are different state of minds.

  • Jen B_VA

    Sorry, kids, no Dear Shitferbrains today, because Scheduling Conflict. Yr Dok Zoom will make every effort to put together a very special Dear Shitferbrains to run sometime this week instead.

    I have heard this one before!!!!
    Though honestly, I am ok without re-reading (sometimes, sometimes reading for the first time) how I should die x way because I do not believe the same as someone else.

    • Suse

      Were there any exciting trolls last week? If so, I missed them.

      • Jen B_VA

        dunno and today I can live fine without em XD

        • Suse

          Yeah, I’ve had enough stupid seeing Chuck Toad and David Brooks this morning.

          • revenant

            that’s easily a day or two’s ration of stupid shite

          • kareemachan

            Shit, I heard Brooks yesterday saying what a fine, wonderful, impartial job Matt did at the debate.

      • Eh. There were a few. Not super exciting, as I recall. One declared that they were looking forward to being banned, like they had only one life to give for their derpy, or something.

  • Jen B_VA

    OT: I am on the online chat with verizon wifi because they over charged me, again, and it keeps trying to time out.
    How’s that for customer service?

    • theCryptofishist

      Revealing.

    • revenant

      you’re afflicted with them, too? it always takes me about half a day to get anything straightened out with them.

      • Jen B_VA

        This time it is a month. Because we went into the store last month and had this straightened out.
        When we move, we are finding a place with cable. And I will tell Verizon to fuck the fuck off forever.

        Edit: I might even do it before the plan is finished. It may be worth it to me to pay the extra just to tell them to fuck the fuck off forever.

        • revenant

          is there a cable/wireless corp. anywhere that isn’t horrible, no good and despicable?

          • Daisy

            No.

          • snark-lurker

            not on this sides of the ponds

          • Jen B_VA

            They need to go back to unlimited, first and foremost. And then they need to, idk, stop trying to eek every last penny out of people.
            Do those two things and it would be fine.

          • It would all be much easier if you would just go ahead and sign your paycheck over to them every week.

          • revenant

            nope, Nah Gah Happum. not since Wall Street completed their takeover of the economy, so that “next quarter’s earnings”, ROI, and “meeting projected earnings” became unquestioned and unquestionable dogma. in the Real World, most businesses have lulls, because conditions don’t always favor growth- in Wall Street World, every business is a shark, and must keep feeding and growing, or die. hence, chiseling 24/7

    • weejee

      Gotta remember it is the middle of the night in India.

  • Suse

    Watching a PBS travel show. The three most tourist-welcoming countries are Iceland, New Zealand, and Morocco. The US is number 102.

    • Daisy

      *monotone voice* I am shocked. Truly, I am.

    • revenant

      “We’re Number One Hundred Two!!”

      doesn’t quite sound as, y’know, catchy, does it?

      • Jen B_VA

        Earlier at the start of the Browns V Eagles feetballing, they did the big flag and Obama gave a video thing and then they asked for a moment of silence and people were chanting USA USA….

        And then they did a fucking commemorative fly over for 911. BECAUSE…I do not even know, what the actual fuck, america.

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          ‘Cause it’s time for a BEER and a DOG!

        • SeekingBarbie

          Because nothing says grief like bombers aloft!

          • revenant

            all too often, it means grief for somebody

            consider the endless fucking breast-beating about “9/11”, and then try to imagine what it would be like if any foreign power actually, Dog forbid, bombed us.

        • What the hell?

          • Jen B_VA

            Right? I know they love them some jet fly overs during the feetballing but I was all……WHAT?????
            And then the chanting during the moment of silence.
            Fucking Philly, stop embarassing me.

          • taco truck vagenda

            But PATRIOTISM!!11!!! You must be one o’ them turrists.

          • Jen B_VA

            Fuck that noise. Only a dingleberry celebrates the destruction of people via jet planes with a jet plane flyover.
            I am not the most wrapped in the flag person there is but jesus, how is that not a huge WTF moment?

          • I Only Like Cats

            Would this be a bad time to say “Leaving on a Jet Plane” is now stuck in my head?

          • Amy!

            Now you’re making me want to put together a montage of plane-into-tower footage, with “Leaving on a Jet Plane” as the sound track.

            Yes, yes, I am a bad person. And I should feel bad. Yup.

          • taco truck vagenda

            But it at least partially explains why Trump, who is a walking WTF moment, is polling at 40%.

      • taco truck vagenda

        Also tough to turn into a giant foam finger, too.

    • weejee

      Extra up fist for New Zealand. Strongly recommend going if you can.

      • I Only Like Cats

        New Zealanders are super nice but the New Zealand person I made friends with in Toronto did admit to me they have more than their share of bigots (she says most of them moved from Australia and never left).

    • Left Coast Tom

      I’ve been to two of those countries, New Zealand and Morocco. Had a great time in both.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    In that picture, it kind of looks like she might have lipstick on her teeth. Sen. Murray, that is, not future Sen. Wonkette Baby.

    • Suse

      At least it wasn’t spinach IN her teeth. That’s really bad.

    • Vagenda Shark

      I thought it was Justice Donna Rose Wonkette.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      A lowly Senatrix? God Empress or GTFO!

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    Shit-fer-brains is my favorite Sunday read along with PostSecret. I shall be patient, however and eagerly await this week’s special edition.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      There’s enough shit-fer-brains in the MSM today, anyway.

  • Jo Mathie

    “Congressional fetus fetishists who object to in vitro fertilization, and prefer frozen blastocysts to disabled veterans”
    I don’t get it. If you’re so pro-life then shouldn’t you be pro creating more life?

    • Daisy

      I think it has something to do with in vitro involves multiple embryos, and they don’t all attach. Or something just as ridiculous.

      • Jen B_VA

        And that too, forgot that other part of the….”arguement”

      • doktorzoom

        it’s all about the fertilized eggs with those people. Life begins at conception, so no multiple tries.

        • msanthropesmr

          That sounds no fun.

        • Jen B_VA

          I will NEVER forgive my grandmother, whom I refer to as the evil one, for giving my mom shit for getting a hysterectomy (after 7 kids mind you) because, and I quote, it goes against God’s plan- think of all the babies you are killing?
          There are a lot of things I still grudge on about but that one is right up there.

          • Daisy

            Jesus, she sounds horrible.

          • Jen B_VA

            She was the same one who told me that if I were going to collage I needed to lose weight so I could attract a good husband.

          • Daisy

            How charming. My great-grandmother left her kids at an orphanage so she could go to bars to pick up a guy to marry.

          • Jen B_VA

            Sounds like the other end of the horseshoe there!
            Grunt. GRUNT.

          • Daisy

            She got one, then picked her kids back up, but she managed to be completely awful in other ways.

          • Jen B_VA

            Just needed them out of the way long enough to go courting I guess.
            I suppose I should be more understanding; different age, different morals and no benefit of the woman’s right movement and such. But still….

          • Daisy

            Yeah, the problem is, the money she spent on the drinks could have been used to feed the kids. We aren’t even talking depression era here, we’re talking World War II, and slightly after it.

          • Let me guess: and you should smile more, too?

          • Jen B_VA

            I should also read less

          • So, it’s possible to actively kill the babbies what haven’t even been made, yet?

          • I Only Like Cats

            Was she a Quiverfull, by any chance?

          • revenant

            that shit has been around forever- “Quiverfull” is just a modern rebranding

          • I Only Like Cats

            Which is weird because there were condoms and birth control plants when Jesus was born so if he cared he would’ve said something.

          • revenant

            remember that all those “Gospels” we have were copied, recopied, translated, re-recopied etc. by monks, who were supposed to be celibate (and very likely the literate nerd-monks actually were celibate, unlike the partying kind that Chaucer and Rabelais wrote about). A lot of Dark Ages/Medieval Church politics and dogmas got written in to the Bible by those guys.

          • Jen B_VA

            No, Catholic. Same same.

        • Amy!

          Pffffftttttttttttttt. It’s all about keeping the women in line with those people. In vitro lets women achieve things, and could lead to who knows what technology. Next thing you know, a black man could be President! Or a woman! Gods forfend.

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          Where do they stand on fertilized chicken eggs? As food.

      • snark-lurker

        inn vitroh is sciencey ergo bad n not good like all natural crude oil &…
        coal-coal-coal
        how do you like it? hoe do you like it?
        moar moar moar!

      • Beaumarchais?

        These are the same kind of people who once argued about how many angels could dance on the head of a people.

    • Jen B_VA

      The program might possibly allow ew gay to create more precious life. Therefore, it is bad.

      • revenant

        there you go. put your finger right on it.

        now, if you could move it over a little to the left….

        • The Wanderer

          And waggle it a bit? Ever so slightly?

          • revenant

            right…there!

            ahhhhhh….

  • Daisy

    OT: M y bills for the semester are paid! So I can stop stressing over whether or not I got the work-study job!

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      YAY!

    • revenant

      congratulations!
      Well done, you!!

    • Jen B_VA

      Now you can enjoy, and find the clinic ^.^

      • Daisy

        Found it already, it’s actually pretty easy to get to.:)

        • Jen B_VA

          True story: I never found my collage’s clinic. I went to the PP up the street for lady issues and then ignored the other ones.
          Edit: In retrospect, probably not a wise choice.

          • snark-lurker

            we wuz a regular until they cut us off for overuse of…
            donut clap,
            just throw rubbers

    • Left Coast Tom

      Cool!

      By the way, there are four wineries near Gilman and Fifth, Broc, Donkey and Goat, and in the same place on Camelia Eno and Lusu, if you’re looking for somewhere delicious to spend your left over monies.

      • Daisy

        I’m a little young for wineries, sadly.

  • Suse

    Hey – my last several posts have disappeared!

    • Daisy

      Ah, Disqus. It never disappoints, when it comes to disappointing.

      • Suse

        I should go do something constructive, anyway. Not that hanging out here is unconstructive. It’s good for the brain and soul, if not the body.

        • Daisy

          I need to write my philosophy paper at some point.

          • weejee

            You Kant put that off?

          • mailman27

            Don’t put Descarte before the horse.

        • The Wanderer

          I really should finish my yard work, write a chapter each of two different stories, and . . .

          Who the flip am I kidding? The game’s on, and there’s Wonkette!

        • snark-lurker

          donut be redickulous!!1!!

      • weejee

        Might even be worse over at the ‘Ville with InTentsDebased™.

    • revenant

      that happens to me sometimes- if a refresh doesn’t cure it, a reboot will.

    • mailman27

      I wish mine had.

  • Beaumarchais?

    If Trump brings up her fainting at the debates, Hilz should say, “Well, Donny, I’ve had to wear body armor ever since you told your wackos to Second Amendment me.”

    • I Only Like Cats

      She should say I have proof climate change is real.

  • weejee

    Here’s a map of the park. Take 85th west until you smoothly glide down a ravine and drive into Puget Sound. Back up a bit your there.

    Mrs. weejee just finished baking a nectarine crisp. There might be some left.

    / burp

    • mailman27

      Why does nectarine crisp sound so delicious?

  • Treg Brown

    A couple of things that I learned today:

    Alexis Arquette died today at age 47. FORTY SEVEN!

    The guardian published a moving piece on Hillz and 9-11 along with some touching pics. I admire her even more.

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/sep/09/hillary-clinton-9-11-attacks-response

    • Daisy

      Man, 2016 is a rough year. And thanks for posting the Hillz piece, I’m going to go read it.

    • I Only Like Cats

      Did they have to call her “hawkish”? That’s clearly sexism.

      • Daisy

        Also, I’m firmly of the opinion that they don’t get to say much about the war vote, considering she was the the junior senator from New York. You know, the place that got attacked. No one knew that the administration had lied about the WMDs yet. If she voted against, her career would’ve been over. They can say the vote was a mistake, as does she.

        • I Only Like Cats

          I’ve said the same thing many times. And people who complain about Libya get a very hawkish glare from me because we had already destabilized the Middle East, she was just trying to help get the area back on track. So I just blame Dubya.

          • Daisy

            Blaming Dubya works for me. Also, a kid here at Berkeley tried to say she was a war criminal. Wouldn’t provide evidence, just kept saying it, even after I pointed out she would’ve have to have done something illegal.

          • I Only Like Cats

            It’s a simple solution to a complex nuanced issue I in no way understand. Hahaha, I think he meant to say “George W Bush”.

          • Daisy

            It bothers me that at a politically active place like Berkeley, that kids still don’t look up anything. I would have respected him more if he gave me something to explain why, even if it was dead wrong.

          • Fartknocker

            Daisy: Keep this fun fact in the back of your pocket. Your neighbors in SF were so fed up with GWB2 in 2008 that they had a ballot initiative to rename the Oceanside Wasterwater Treatment plant after GWB2. It serves as a reminder that if you are a prick we citizens can memorialize you in ways that will become part of your permanent history..
            http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/25/world/americas/25iht-bush.4.13984448.html?_r=0

          • (((Gosala)))

            Facts do not matter.

            Evidence does not matter.

            Logic does not matter.

            Belief and adherence to tribal norms are all that matter.

            Welcome to the post-factual century.

      • TJ Barke

        Hawkish has nothing to do with gender, it’s used to describe someone who seems eager to resort to military force to resolve situations.

        • I Only Like Cats

          I kinda meant since she’s the only one who they continue to bring up her vote for the Iraq war (which many have pointed out was actually a bill to limit Dubya’s power) but I’ve never the word itself used for a man (the go to term is war-mongering, I believe) so potentially also that too.

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            Hillary was senatoring for the state that had just suffered the worst terrorist attack in history. It would have been impossible to buck the political winds that were blowing at that time.

          • taco truck vagenda

            I use chickenhawk a lot for the men.

    • sw19tacotruck

      Sad, I just read the news about Ms Arquette. I hadn’t realised she was sick/ill.

  • Jen B_VA

    OT more fun: So the reasons my bill is higher are, so far: We switched plans too late, we switched plans too early, the jetpack is due for an upgrade in november, and the line access fee, which should be 10, is 20 because it is needed to keep the jetpack running.
    WEEEEEEEEE

    • Suse

      Bastards!

      • snark-lurker

        Fuckers!

      • Jen B_VA

        Even more fun! Now because of the magic of fees and upgrades and whatevers….idkeven anymore.

  • Suse

    It would be egregiously irresponsible not to speculate on this. http://news.groopspeak.com/breaking-trump-taking-special-prescribed-drug-according-to-sources/

    • I Only Like Cats

      How do I get a doctor to prescribe me that drug? XD (I don’t want to abuse it I just feel so fat)

      • Jen B_VA

        Step 1: Be a billionaire.
        Step 2: ????
        Step 3: Profit!

        • I Only Like Cats

          If I had been drinking you would have made me spit onto my keyboard.

          • Jen B_VA

            DARN. Next time, be drinking.
            My evil plan is to destroy all the keyboards in the world. Then I can take over.

          • Stulexington

            For profit?

          • Jen B_VA

            For fun AND profit!

      • Mezzavagenda

        Phenteramine really only works in the short term by reducing your appetite and only a small boost in your metabolism. Your body adjusts to it pretty quickly, so a couple of weeks on it will show max effect.

        • I Only Like Cats

          I would take that since it doesn’t matter what I’m eating, I’m somehow always gaining weight (I gained 20 pounds in 2 months because my boyfriend kept making me eat when I felt like my blood sugar was low ;a;)

          • Mezzavagenda

            From experience with the blood sugar thing, keep some peanut butter crackers on hand and some milk nearby. Otherwise you end up eating all the chocolate bars and chugging soda. Well, I did anyway. Also the crackers and milk don’t give you a huge peak then crash. Unless your sugar is really low and you are getting dizzy and ready to black out. Then orange juice or hard candies are the way to go.

          • I Only Like Cats

            A lot of people have given me similar advice. XD Let’s just say I keep around a lot of protein bars/shakes.

    • taco truck vagenda

      People are saying he’s also taking powerful anti-rejection meds — you know, for his hair.

      • (((Gosala)))

        People are saying he’s also taking powerful anti-rejection meds — you know, for his hair ferret.

        FIFY

    • weejee

      It’s okay, he drinks enough gin, with Dame Noonington sometimes, to bring him back down.

      • Treg Brown

        The idea of Trump mixing prescription drugs with alcohol is…
        not distressing.

    • The Wanderer

      Ibogaine?

    • Treg Brown

      “Metabolic imbalance”. Pffft.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Of COURSE he’s on speed! How the hell else can he get by with only 3 hours of sleep?

  • Mezzavagenda

    I’m throwing some money at some Emily’s List canidates. I’ve got Maggie Hassan in NH, Katie McGinty in PA, Emily Cain of the House in ME and Ann Kirkpatrick in AZ.
    Other options are Catherine Cortez Masto in NV, Deborah Ross in NC and Patty Pudge in Iowa.
    Any opinions on where to send my donations?
    Does Kirkparptrick have a good chance?

    • Jen B_VA

      I have an excellent shot of never getting elected, ever *puts hand out* I mean for doing good stuff, and works, in the civil manner.

      • Mezzavagenda

        I just sent money to my youngest brother and his wife to fix their water pump which got fried by a lightening strike and my SIL to help with court costs for her divorce. I owe money to a no longer new niece and the chupacatbra is a model for the cost of elder care where eating cat food is actually appropriate. If you run for local office in VA or hook me up with info on local breweries and cider makers, I’ll contribute to your fund.

        • Jen B_VA

          I will hold you to that, probably*

          *Not probably, memory is like swiss cheese.

          OH there is a local brewery I know of. Sort of local, only about an hour distant. Here if it is within 2 hours it is local enough. Anyway, Rusty Beaver- the name sorta stuck in my head.

          • Mezzavagenda

            Rusty Beaver is definitely a sticky kind of name. Also, some really disturbing imagery there.

      • Me, too, also, too.

    • Objectifer

      Polls are showing Walnuts leading by 9-13 points, so prolly not. This should have been Gabby’s race godfuckingdammit!

    • Amy!

      Help get Deborah Ross elected. All (the sane people) of North Carolina will thank you.

  • Ninja0980

    The guy who shot the Hillary video says he’s a fan.
    Why do I think that is a bunch of bullshit?

    • Jen B_VA

      Hillary video? Of her being wilty?

  • taco truck vagenda

    OT: Hey! That Raiders/Saints game turned out to be really good (no defense).

    • The Wanderer

      Unfortunately, Oakland lost. (sadface)
      Update – well, skewer me through a scupper . . . that’s what I get for not watching the livestream. Oakland winz! Huzzah!

      • sw19tacotruck

        Erm?

        • The Wanderer

          Sorry, one site had them losing. (Emily Litella voice) Never mind.

          • taco truck vagenda

            Whew. For a moment there, I thought my alzheimer’s had arrived all at once.

          • The Wanderer

            Sometimes I think mine’s lurking in the dim corners of my mind.

          • taco truck vagenda

            The other day I was trying to retrieve the word “diffident” from one of the dim corners of my mind, but it just wouldn’t come. No synaptic activity, neurons unresponsive. Finally had to substitute “reticent” This upset me in a way it wouldn’t have in my salad days. Later, I drank a lot of beer. If my brain cells aren’t going to cooperate, fuck ’em.

  • Mezzavagenda

    Early Oktoberfest dinner: pork schnitzel, German potato salad and pretezels with German beer cheese spread. The husband fish is awesome.

    • Suse

      Husband fish?

      • Mezzavagenda

        My pet name for him. It makes him slighty irate.

        • Suse

          Cute.

  • The liberal media, which never, ever says anything mean, inflammatory or inaccurate about Hillary Clinton, ever, because they love her/are afraid she will have them murdered, are all assuring us that Hillary’s health is now a legitimate campaign concern.

    They are so obviously anti-Trump.

    • Spotts1701

      Yes, because someone wearing layers, a bulletproof vest, and standing for more than 90 minutes on a windless sunny day with no shade clearly is suffering some sort of malady beyond “OMG it’s hot and humid!”

      • Vagenda Shark

        And in lower Manhattan as well.

      • I Only Like Cats

        !!! Apparently my health is a legitimate issue and I’m dying (coughing fits and overheating are not actually one of my many health issues, but they happen, so clearly, I have the smallpox)

      • Suse

        I was in NYC for a week in September a few years ago. The humidity and heat nearly killed me.

    • taco truck vagenda

      She should’ve just puked on someone.

      • That would simply show that she is in need of an exorcism. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

      • BadKitty904

        Or choked on a pretzel.

    • BadKitty904

      When they start assuring us that Trump’s mental illness – Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)* – is now a legitimate campaign concern, I’ll pay attention. And not until then.

      *NPD is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of understanding of others’ feelings.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I’m thinking more histrionic. Although Shawn Spencer from Psych clearly has histrionic and I like him, sooo who knows.

        • BadKitty904

          Dunno that ‘un, but I’ll go along…

  • CountryClubJihadi

    I’m happy that Hillary is feeling better, but I simply must have that chain link handbag she wore today. Googled all day and can’t locate it.

  • I Only Like Cats

    How is low 80s in a full suit and body armor not enough for “overheating”? Because I would have literally fainted, on the spot.

    • sw19tacotruck

      Come now, Hillary isn’t that old ;p

    • Daisy

      People faint in shorts and a tank top in my hometown in the low 100s, so I definitely understand how that could happen in full clothing+body armor, even at 20 degrees cooler. Particularly if there was humidity involved.

      • I Only Like Cats

        Forget humidity think of the pollution! Probably no fresh air whatsoever.

        • Daisy

          My hometown is the most polluted city in the U.S.

    • (((Gosala)))

      Hypothetical and annecdotal. You have to compare her to others also in full suit and body armor and also to a control group of naked people (preferably sexxy naked people).

      • The Wanderer

        I recall that there were a group of nude or nearly-nude bicyclists doing a ride through Philadelphia today.
        Here’s the link:
        http://www.pennlive.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2016/09/photos_from_the_2016_pilly_nak.html

        • (((Gosala)))

          I saw the same article in some Alabama newsy thing. It was right after an article about how Trump is ahead in some poll.

          Said a lot about the newsy site.

      • Doug Langley

        Okay, I’ll organize the line-up. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.

        • (((Gosala)))

          Send photos. Must have photos — at least of the control group.

    • BadKitty904

      As I said in a previous string – Bottom line, it’s September. I spent all yesterday and most of this morning outside – it’s HOT, OK? Considering that Hilz is actually campaigning for President – a strenuous job at any age – and Trump is just Twitting, no wonder she needed to “leave early”.

    • SeekingBarbie

      While being hydrated is important, your internal thermostat isn’t a matter of health or will. I’ve felt sick from the heat as long as I can remember and I’ve always been healthy.

  • Doug Langley

    Okay, everybody, time for our latest fun game: What insane thing did Donald Trump say today?

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/09/hours-after-twin-towers-fell-trump-bragged-his-building-was-now-the-tallest-in-lower-manhattan/

    • Suse
      • Treg Brown

        This looks nothing like Trump.

        • Doug Langley

          Why do you think it cost so much?

        • Suse

          The hands are tiny.

          • Treg Brown

            God I’m an idiot. I didn’t even see the perfectly replicated hands. I was so taken back by the movie star face they gave him.

            NOW it all makes sense!

        • Amy!

          Love his hands!

      • Spotts1701

        He also spent $12,000 of his charity’s money for an autographed Tim Tebow helmet. You know, because there is such a market for never-were, can’t throw sportsballers.

        • Doug Langley

          It’s such an inspiration to see charitable efforts helping the poor washed-up football players.

          • Suse

            They are fellow Christians, after all.

    • The Wanderer

      This and the charity scam are great, but bets on how much coverage they’ll get tomorrow?

      • I Only Like Cats

        Can there physically be something less than zero? Because that.

      • Suse

        zip, zero, zilch

      • sw19tacotruck
        • Astraea

          JFC

      • Doug Langley

        I’m sure they’ll put lots of coverage on it, just as soon as they get done with the “Hillary walks outside from air conditioning and has a seizure and faints” story.

      • BadKitty904

        Zip? I’m guessing zip. Is zip right?

      • mailman27

        So,… e-mails?

    • BadKitty904

      At what time today?

  • I Only Like Cats

    http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/chelsea-manning-announces-hunger-strike-over-treatment-in-prison/ar-AAiIs0r?OCID=ansmsnnews11 WTF military? Does this constitute cruel and unusual treatment? I feel like it does.

    • Treg Brown

      I’m 24 and still haven’t learned not to read the comments :- /

      • Daisy

        I’ve learned the hard way. From Youtube.

        • Doug Langley

          YouTube: the site where one can post vids of puppies and kittens and still start an obscenity screaming contest.

          • Daisy

            Ahh, Youtube in a nutshell. They once managed to start a screaming competition about Trump on a James Bay video.

      • I Only Like Cats

        If I ever feel tempted I just don’t finish reading the article. It helps.

        • Treg Brown

          Good coaching!

      • BadKitty904

        I can honestly say that Wonkette is the only site where I’d make OR read comments, if comments were allowed.

        Every American has the right to express his/her/it’s opinion, but it’s my right to be utterly uninterested in hearing said opinions.

        • Treg Brown

          I’m just glad they don’t allow comments here. Saves me the trouble of averting my eyes.

      • Jen B_VA

        I think the best part of it all is the screaming about letting the traitor die because he she betrayed our country!!!! while in the same breath saying Obama is to blame because he she betrayed our country!!!!
        Lovely people calling for execution also, too. Feh.
        At least Facebook lets us know who these people really are.

  • Daisy

    Oh, we also have a kid here at Berkeley who thinks transgender people are mentally ill, and used some guy from Johns Hopkins to justify his view.

    • Mezzavagenda

      I just saw that nonsense from John Hopkins yesterday. The College and Medical Center are not pleased with the authors who have no legitimate background with with to make their claims. Will look for a link.

      • Daisy

        We have some real winners around here. Course, guy in question plans on rushing in the spring, so yeah…

        • The Wanderer

          I think a frat hazing (not too nasty, and not criminal) might realign his worldview a tad.

          • Daisy

            Doubtful. he’s already their errand boy, and Berkeley frats haze for basically a whole semester.

          • (((Gosala)))

            You are correct. The purpose and effect of hazing — like boot camp — is to reinforce the subject’s loyalty and attachment to and identification with the tribe.

    • sw19tacotruck

      Hopefully a few years at Berkeley will knock some sense into the bell-end.

    • BadKitty904

      And here, all this time, I’ve been thinking they’re Martians. I must be using the wrong grade of tin-foil.

    • Doug Langley

      So howz classes going?

      • Daisy

        Fairly well. I’ve only been graded on one thing so far, and I got a perfect score on that. It was just a weekly response for my history of human rights class, though. I’m working (sort of) on my argument analysis for philosophy right now.

    • proudgrampa

      Is the Mediterraneum still there on Telegraph? Best cappuccino ever (in the 70’s).

      • Daisy

        Hmmm, I’m not sure. I’ll have to look.

        • proudgrampa

          You gotta go. It was at the center of the Beat Generation, the Free Speech Movement, and the Anti-War protests. We’d go get our coffee there for the next assault on the status quo.

          • Daisy

            Just looked it up, it’s still there!

      • Suse

        It’s on College Ave now.

    • Amy!

      Is he referring to Dr. Money? Known in the trans* community as Dr. Mengele?

      • Daisy

        Paul McHugh.

        • Amy!

          That … [redacted for noncompliance to rules for commenting radicals].

          Lots of debunking available, though it’s less confusing if you google paul r mchugh instead of paul mchugh (without the middle initial) because the latter is a nice guy doing research on and legal support for indigenes in New Zealand, which is happy-making.

          The short version is that he chooses the studies and statistics based on the argument he wishes to make, not on best methodology or preponderance of evidence. He’s dishonest and determined to achieve goals of social control via psychiatry; the field has (reluctantly) moved on from his frothing reactionary bullshit.

          • Daisy

            I’ll keep this in mind, but I don’t talk to frat boy dude much. My roommate does, because she’s fascinated by him. (For other, less idiotic shit he pulls) Apparently, she hasn’t met a lot of guys who act like frat boys, because apparently no guy she knows acts like him. (I take that as a good sign, as she has a boyfriend who she like quite a lot)

  • So, Sarah Palin said a stupid on Facebook the other day.

    …I should really warn you before I make a statement like that, so you might avoid bruising your chin on the table when your jaw drops in disbelief.

    Anyway, earlier this week, Palin published one of her ranty things on Facebook about how the media is terrible. She chastised the media for criticizing her for using that target graphic next to Gabrielle Gifford’s name, then GOTCHAed them for doing the exact, same thing to her! One small problem, though: the story she links to (the same story I linked to right there, from a fancy website called “Conservatives 4 Palin”) is two years old.

    Said Palin: “The apoplectic media pinning me for the crime caused turmoil and threats that are inexplicable, stretching still to this day. I say this not to claim any sort of victimization, but to point out the power the media has to try to destroy someone’s career, reputation and spirit, by employing its common double standards.”

    Now, why in the world would we assume that she was trying to point out how she’s been victimized, just because she’s just written many paragraphs describing how the media victimized her by destroying her career, reputation and spirit by having done double standards to her two years ago? Obviously we are wrong!

    Something something she is JUST LIKE GABBY GIFFORDS, I guess? It’s Sarah Palin. It’s hard to know just what she’s all riled up about.

    • Vagenda Shark

      Translation: “LOOK AT ME! I’M STILL RELEVANT!”

  • (((Gosala)))

    Over heating…
    Trouble climbing stairs…
    Trouble standing without assistance….
    Stumbling…
    Blood clots…
    Concussion…
    Memory issues…
    Coughing fits…
    A history of Trumped up controversies…
    Under Second Amendment threat…

    *consults WebMD*

    Yep, she’ll be dead by 11:32AM Mythical Standard Time.

    • Daisy

      Is it cancer? It is WebMD after all.

      • revenant

        isn’t everything on WebMD cancer? it was, the last time i looked there

      • (((Gosala)))

        Cancer? Yes, cancer of the soul!

    • phoenix00

      > Mythical Standard Time

      I KNEW something was off the moment I stepped off the train at Hogwarts Station

  • Mascots was excellent! Should be up on Netflix by the end of the year. Christopher Guest is still a genius

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Breaking on CNN right now. Pneumonia. Hillary has pneumonia. No wonder she nearly passed out. And it explains everything. Her cough, her looking tired, nearly fainting being a bit unsteady on her feet. All of it. It needs to be taken care of, but it’s hardly disqualifying.

    • weejee

      Not something to up fist, but thanks for the update. Jim Kermit Henson croaked because he ignored pneumonia symptoms a bit too long.

      • That’s not something to upfist, either, but it is a very good point.

        • Suse

          I’m getting the pneumonia vaccine this year, along with my annual flu shot.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            OHNO! I hope it doesn’t give you the Autism!

          • Suse

            I never thought of that!

        • Jim Henson made upfisting things his life’s work, so he probably wouldn’t have been offended.

      • ltmcdies

        and we in the 21st century lack an understanding of what a lot of these diseases can do to yah.

    • (((Gosala)))

      Pneumonia? Pfft…

      If she was a real man, it would be double pneumonia AND bronchitis.

      And then she’d climb all the stairs in the World Trade Center in full combat gear, wrestle Jesse Ventura and wash it all down with a boiler maker.

      Weak!

    • Astraea

      And 3…2…1…
      “Clinton’s health just became a real issue”

      Thanks, Washington Post.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        She just defused that issue. Pneumonia is a serious thing, especially as one ages, but it is entirely treatable, and full recovery is what one would expect. It fully explains the issues of the past week or so, and is NOT a major health crisis.

        • Yup. Not only did this come out on a weekend, when people aren’t paying much attention to the news, but aside from the hardcore anti-Hillary crowd, it’ll be old news by November. Especially when she completely wipes the floor with him in the debates.

          • Suse

            I’m still not convinced Drumpf will go through with it.

      • Spotts1701

        Gee, I wonder why they didn’t mention this until they were forced? It couldn’t be because the media would’ve had a field day whether it were revealed on Friday or today, now could it? Why, that’s just crazy talk!

        • I Only Like Cats

          Yeah, I would’ve waited until she was already recovering too.

    • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

      Why wasn’t she vaccinated for pneumonia? Is Hilz a secret anti-vaxxer!!1!!?

      • Suse

        She probably eats canned clams along with the kittens in her purse. MONSTER!!11!

        • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

          I thought she was into eating bearded clams.

          • Suse

            I was going to ask if they “come in a can” but that sounds dirty. ;-)

      • Pinkham’s Law

        DON’T GIVE THE RWNJS ANY IDEAS!

        • (((Gosala)))

          RWNJs don’t have ideas. They have mental tics

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        She keeps vials of virgin’s blood in her purse along with the kittens.

        • tehbaddr

          Sssssshhhh, that’s hot sauce ; ^ }

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            So that’s the secret …. virgin’s blood as a condiment! The things I learn on the Wonkette ….

    • ltmcdies

      Congress wants the deleted xrays…

    • Good lord. The people on Twitter trying to make this into something big all seem to be the ones who call gastroenteritis “the flu” and therefore don’t think they need flu shots just to get over a bit of barfing.

    • Daisy

      I hope she gets it taken care of. My grandma passed away from pneumonia. She would’ve been Hillary’s age.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        My condolences. I’m pretty sure she’ll take the time now.

    • phoenix00

      Get well soon HilDawg! We need you fighting all the good fights!

    • I Only Like Cats

      I’m sure she’ll be fine. That’s something to expect (or so I’ve heard from old people) at least once during their lifetime in the summer, as an Old. The articles say she’s already recovering so I don’t see the point, as long she’s treated (and she is) I believe the illness runs it’s course in about two months or less.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Hot weather has always made me feel sick. My doctor explained that our internal thermostats just vary.

  • Suse
    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      I am voting for the Andromeda Strain. To prevent it you drink sterno.

      • Suse

        I like the one where women get pregnant with dinosaurs, which burst out of the womb and kill the mother.

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          That could ruin your whole day! Kinda sounds like Alien.

      • Doug Langley

        You can also defeat it by crying yourself into a coma. Which frankly isn’t much better.

    • The Wanderer

      What about E. Henry Thripshaw’s Disease? It’s a malady so obscure that there’s no name or symptoms for it.

      • Suse

        I think I have that.

    • msanthropesmr
      • tehbaddr

        Can you rinse it off do you suppose. No, takes some soap and a scrubby fer sure!

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Jon Voight defends Trump. Fuck him and the shit movies he was in…compares him to Mother Teresa. Asshole.

    • SnarkOff

      Jon Voight…hmm….heard of him somewhere. Oh, yeah, he is Angelina Jolie’s dad.

      • Suse

        He’s an asshole along with James Woods, Kelsey Grammar, Tom Selleck, Pat Sajack, ad nauseum.

        • And to my dismay, Gary Oldman is a Libertarian.

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          And of course, Clint “fuckface” Eastwood.

          • Suse

            Why is he still alive?

          • I Only Like Cats

            Deal with Satan hasn’t expired yet.

        • BosGrl

          Oh not Kelsey Grammar too?

        • SnarkOff

          Charlton Heston libel!

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        No wonder she dropped the last name…..

    • Comparing him to Mother Theresa and Albert Schweitzer is a little more than “defending”, isn’t it?

      • Suse

        What???

        • My reaction, also, too.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        lauds. sorry.

    • Well, Mother Theresa was actually a racist, nasty person who believed that abortion was the Worst Thing Ever and suffering was the path to God and so didn’t give pain mitigating treatments to her patients, so maybe he’s not far off.

      • Suse

        Read “The Missionary Position” by Christopher Hitchens. MT was a horrible fraud.

        • Jeffocaster in the desert
          • Suse

            I have to look at this gross statue of him every time I drive down 280…

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            WTF is that? (Google Image search found it):

            “Goofy Father Junipero Serra Statue”

          • Suse

            It’s been there for years.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            My company is in North San José, so I usually travel 101. Never seen that …. might be a must visit next time I’m in the valley.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            Belongs in Nashville. On a horse.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            I actually first thought it was a bad Harry Potter on a flying broomstick statue.

          • SeekingBarbie

            That was my first thought, too.

  • Suse
  • Daisy

    My instructor for philosophy told us to keep it concise, because we only have two double spaced pages for our prompt, and I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m trying to figure out how to make it that long, ffs.”

    • Actual advice the entire class got from one of my professors when I was in college: “Your papers should be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep it interesting.” Later in the semester, he digressed during a discussion on Shakespeare to describe the etymology of the word “cunt”.

      Yes, he was tenured. Why do you ask?

      • Daisy

        Well, that sounds more interesting than analyzing Socrates argument for why excellence cannot be taught, and Protagoras’ response to that argument.

        • I Only Like Cats

          It takes a sentence to say “He was an old man who didn’t know what he was talking about, he was probably so drunk. Also, excellence is unquantifiable and the man didn’t even bother to define what he was talking about, which he himself said was a prerequisite to any debate.” Oh, nvm, it takes two.

          • Daisy

            I,KR?

          • Jen B_VA

            I feel like I need to defend Socrates, but that is because I like him well enough. His biggest thing is not seeking resolutions or answers so much- his big thing is asking the questions to begin with.
            The socratic method can best be exemplified by the typical 3 year old- why? So long as you can keep asking questions, the argument is not yet strong.
            Course, that is just what I got out of him

          • I Only Like Cats

            I think he had an overinflated ego and absolutely nothing to offer, but that’s just me.

          • revenant

            but then, we only know what Plato wrote about him, and Plato was kind of a dick

        • (((Gosala)))

          ” Excellence cannot be taught” runs counter to almost every management and educational school alive today. So, to me at least, the proposition is interesting because it is counter-intuitive and counter-cultural.

          Never mind Protagoras for the moment, I am genuinely interested: what is Socrates’ argument?

          • Daisy

            Something along the lines of stuff like math and music and reading can be taught, but being a good citizen cannot. First argument was basically that all Athenians can speak on government manners, but other stuff only professionals can talk about, therefore Athenians don’t think excellence can be taught. My prompt is on why good people have bad children, or his second argument.

          • I Only Like Cats

            If your Socrates level vague you can finish two pages. I don’t know if your professor is looking for a debate in earnest or someone who “understands” the material so I couldn’t tell you what that would do to your grade.

          • Daisy

            It’s honestly just about reading comprehension at this point. “Do you understand what Socrates is saying? If yes, good.” No defending allowed yet, not even about our interpretation of the argument. Good for my writing, bad for length purposes.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Hahaha, I would not do that assignment correctly. My completion of it would be a scholarly version of “Socrates is an idiot, he’s saying this, this, and this and that’s not true because this, this, and this. How many servants was he having sex with at the time?” But I don’t like philosophy so there’s that.

          • Daisy

            I’m not crazy about it myself. My professor, however, is a wonderful human being who tells us exactly what he wants. He did an entire lecture on how to do the assignment. I’m done with philosophy after this, I just had to knock out one of my breadth requirements.

          • We are never done with philosophy….it is unavoidable and delightful at the same time.

          • Doug Langley

            Sigh. I’ve spent so much time in class explaining and explaining how to do the assignments. I put it on-line in black and white. And there’s ALWAYS someone who gets it dead wrong and comes back with “You weren’t clear”.

          • (((Gosala)))

            101. Professor is looking for “comprehension,” meaning “Do you see what I see?”

            Freshmen [sic] are not allowed to have opinions.

          • Jen B_VA

            Sounds vaguely nature vs nurture

          • (((Gosala)))

            So, not excellence in general but civic virtue specifically.

            Excellence in painting, in geometry, in architecture can be taught. These are technical skills.

            But excellence in citizenship? Protagoras tells a myth in which Zeus tells Prometheus to be sure every person is imbued with the vitues of citizenship, which sounds like he is agreeing with Socrates.

            But then Protagoras goes off on a thing about the bad children of good parents. This would seem to reinforce the idea that (civic) citrus cannot be taught.

            Somehow he turns this into an argument that civic vitues can be taught.

            How does he do that?

          • Daisy

            Something about punishment. Athenians must believe virtue can be taught because they punish people to correct their behavior,

          • (((Gosala)))

            I am finding this conversation fascinating, but

            I have been up since 1AM, your time

            I have been drinking since noon, your time

            I despise Plato, but I also think he deserves respectful handling

            Can we continue tomorrow when I promise to give the matter the careful attention it deserves?

          • Daisy

            Sure, if I can get away from my school obligations long enough! :)

          • (((Gosala)))

            So, Daisy, so you want to do this thing? If not, that’s cool.

          • Sakonyachen

            Socrates probably argued that no one was as excellent as him, so case closed. This is assuming that I’m remembering the right guy. My philosophy teacher wasn’t a big fan of the old school.

          • (((Gosala)))

            Unlikely, as Socrates never claimed to be good.

          • Sakonyachen

            I thought I may have had the wrong guy.

        • msanthropesmr

          But, but – Malcolm Gladwell says it can be using pseudo-science.

          I fucking hate Malcolm Gladwell.

        • vivian

          The structure of all Platonic Dialogues is pretty much the same:
          Socrates engages three people in arguments. The first is usually a straw horse. But if you apply the reasoning of the first argument to the third, you’ll find the purported agreement at the end is just for show, it doesn’t really hold up.

      • Suse

        Wow!

      • I Only Like Cats

        I would have never asked him anything without female backup three steps behind me. That’s creepy.

      • Shibusa

        Many years ago, I was in a college course in which students came upon the word “desiderate” and no one knew what it meant. It was long before the Google and no one had a dictionary. The prof walked up to a buxom young co-ed and said, “I desiderate to make love to you.”

        Then he turned to the rest of us and said, “Does that help?”

        Yuck.

        • I Only Like Cats

          That’s not even correct in context (the word is more specific than that). Also I hope people looked at him gross and made throw up motions so he knew he was being a slimy piece of defecation.

        • Vagendadentacohontas

          My son now carries my college dictionary with the spine reglued in flannel shirts. Never be caught without a dictionary, is my philosophy. Also, never re-pay for something you already own.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      My philosophy is Trump is a schmuck. The End. Concise enough?

    • I snark therefore I am.

      • Daisy

        Unfortunately, we’re talking long dead Greek dudes here, not not-quite-as long dead French dudes.

        • Vagendadentacohontas

          Making America great doesn’t take lots of words. Just be sure to use the best words.

          • Jen B_VA

            I totally dare Daisy to mention somewhere about how Socrates had only the best words.
            Just for the lolz

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            Those words we base our words on, that we like? My first philosophy prof was from Naperville, IL, and insisted we start taking notes in the middle of our notebooks and continue out in a circular fashion. He pretended to smoke chalk like cigarettes while lecturing ..still trying to figure out how to take his job.

  • Spotts1701

    Someone take David Shuster’s phone away from him until he sobers up…

    https://twitter.com/DavidShuster/status/775090091605843968

    • Jen B_VA

      Apparently someone did! Twitter says that page no longer exists

      • BosGrl

        Oh what did it say?

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Opening salvo at the debates: Trump: Hillary, nice to see you here. How’s that health issue?

    • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

      Hillary: Donald, Have you been vaccinated for pneumonia yet? You are past a certain age and it is recommended.

      • I Only Like Cats

        How I would handle it: “How are those prescription amphetamine diet pills working out for you?” Which is why I will never be president.

        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          Or invited back to the White House press room.

          • I Only Like Cats

            It would be worth it!

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            I would have loved my one question to GWB to be, “Are you really this stupid, or do you still believe your mama?”

          • I Only Like Cats

            I probably would have searched him for the feed and rudely questioned him, “Who’s feeding you the answers?” And then I would find that person and tell them if they wanted a dummy, they should have went with a wooden one. It would’ve been smarter.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            And looked better, too. FSM knows how Laura, who I believe is very smart, tolerated him.

    • Shibusa

      She should ask him about the source of his obvious jaundice.

    • My health is just as strong and robust as what’s in your pants, Sparky.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I don’t think Hillary would insult herself that way.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      “Don’t worry, Mr Trump, as President I’ll make sure you get into a suitable care facility.”

    • Chyron HR

      “My strategy is getting out the vote in key states, my opponent’s strategy is praying for me to die before the election. Let’s see who wins.”

  • Land Shark with a Vagenda

    I offer some amusement for my fellow Wonketteers: lightweight Troll Training™

    The denizens of this bloggers comments think they are right smart conservative commenters. None would last more than two posts here at the Wonkette. So if you need some featherweight Troll Training™, have at it.

    https://christopherfountain.com/2016/09/11/if-the-lady-cant-stand-up-to-72-heat-hows-she-ever-gonna-visit-her-new-friends-in-tehran/

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda
      • BosGrl

        There’s someone on there doing a good job of debunking in the comments.

        Also I am going to get banhammered on this story because I am starting to fume: http://dailycaller.com/2016/09/11/dod-official-911-moment-of-silence-moved-up-for-obama/

        • Jen B_VA

          Wonder how they feel about the footballing fans chanting through the moment of silence in Philly today?

          • BosGrl

            Honestly, it wouldn’t matter. They are firm in their hatred.

        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          It’s probably me. I like pokin’ the locals with a stick. I live in the bluest of richie rich towns in these here parts.

          • BosGrl

            I don’t usually bother but I’m not feeling well tonight and I figured it would distract me. They pretty much believe everything put in front of them, don’t they? :)

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            They’re not the brightest bulbs on Broadway. Mostly rich, old, republicans NIMBYs who only have “those people” cleaning and landscaping.

    • Jen B_VA

      Forget the lame commenters, I want me some of that tastey irrational writer hatred.
      Tastes good with mushroom sauce.

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        Mr Fountain is a provocateur … he publishes the lame evil Obama and Hillary stories to prod the locals into responding in the comments. He does, however, spout some fine quality irrational hate in the comments.

        • Jen B_VA

          Meh. Grifter then.
          Could be using his powers for good but just wants to shake up the beehive and chuck it in the back of the truck instead.

          I am probably mixing my colloquialisms again.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            He’s kind of an old school libertarian. But he does like to poke the wasp’s nest.

            It’s a lightweight crowd … good for warming up.

  • Sakonyachen

    “Or he could move to Idaho and run as a Democrat”

    I’m pretty sure that Glenn Beck would be a Democrat in Idaho.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      So Strom Thurmond would have been a liberal in Idaho?

      • Sakonyachen

        That’s what I heard. I have no real evidence of course, I’m more of a throw shit at the wall until something sticks kinda guy than a facts guy.

    • Nah, he’s a Mormon, so he’d be fine there.

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        But is Beck the right kind of Mormon?

      • Sakonyachen

        Really? They’ve always been such nice people when I met them. Although crazy trumps being Morman when it comes to how you interact with others.

        • Mormons are unfailingly nice on the surface. And some younger ones are actually fairly liberal these days. But church leaders and most everyone past 50 are awful.

          Case in point: The recent rule that children of same-sex parents can’t become church members unless they repudiate their parents. (So much for family values.)

          Mormons will make you a casserole to welcome you to the neighborhood and then vote to make it illegal for mothers to work or some shit. They’re all trying to live a 1950s white America that never existed except on TV.

          If I sound aggrieved about this, it’s because I am. My (bi) husband grew up LDS, and it seriously fucked with his head. His mother died at only 64 because of a combo of worn-out body due to 10 pregnancies (5 kids, 5 miscarriages) and never taking care of her own health because she put her family before everything else. (There’s more, but that’s a good summation.) I hate that church almost as much as I hate Southern Baptists, Mars Hill, suburban arena churches and the scary little cult churches that set up shop in half-abandoned strip malls. I support folks who are trying to change it from within, but that’s a huge task.

  • Treg Brown

    The one good thing about Hillz having pneumonia, is that it’s easily treated, and rationally explains her recent coughing, fatigue, etc.

    When she’s recovered from this temporary and very treatable illness all the concern trolls who have been so worried about her health can suck her dick.

    • phoenix00

      Except you know they won’t. It’ll be “First pneumonia, second Zika, third AIDS! Lock her up!”

      • BadKitty904

        You left out leprosy and the King’s Evil.

        • phoenix00

          OH my bad. Guess I’m not nutjob enough for this after all.

          • BadKitty904

            Count blessings… ;0)

      • Jen B_VA

        That is what I was thinking. This will be proof she has AIDS and is gay because gays get the AIDS and the AIDS gets the Pnuemonia.
        FFS

        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          QED libtards!

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      Probably won’t get more than one day’s news cycle out of this ginned up bullshit.

    • Daisy

      I wish she could actually tell them to suck her dick.

      • Treg Brown

        Amen Daisy!

      • I Only Like Cats

        I hope her 8th year of office she tells everyone to suck it.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          No fucks left Obama’s been pretty fun to watch. No fucks left Hill would probably be pretty cool, also as well, too

          • phoenix00

            …. except no fucks remaining Hillz would start day 1 of her presidency!

          • jowgajen

            Hillary was born with an unusually low number of fucks.

          • Suse

            Man, I hope she wins in a landslide.

          • BadKitty904

            I SO cannot wait ’til his term is done, just so he can FINALLY speak his mind…publicly and freely.

          • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

            Maybe he will wait just until the election is finished, then spend the last two “lame duck” months kicking ass and taking names.

        • BadKitty904

          After the crap they put up with last time, I suspect she and the First Gentleman are going to roll into New Rome with a “little list”. “Vince-fostering” will become a standard verb.

      • Catstro

        Munchma Quchi

    • The Wanderer

      They can suck my dick. I offer myself as Clinton’s proxy in that regard. Fuck Toad was on NBC blathering, and all I can think of is “Why is there a HIPAA exception for Presidential candidates?”

      • I Only Like Cats

        I was thinking about that, since I’m trained as a pharmacy technician. I feel like people should be getting in trouble for talking about it but you know *whispers* she has a vagina.

        • Daisy

          “Vagina” is basically the reason why she gets the brunt of the news cycle in general.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I don’t remember the 2008 election. Can anyone tell me if it was *this* bad?

          • Jen B_VA

            No, it was not this bad. Well, the whistles about lady parts was still there, but we lacked the orange haired testical wart to go along with it so it at least seemed civil.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Did Obama have to put up with this much crap about being black, I wonder?

          • Suse

            Absolutely, but it was a bit more subtle at first. It was pretty sickening once the bigots really let loose.

          • Suse

            “orange haired testical wart” for the win!

          • sw19tacotruck

            Say, you know who else whistled about lady parts?

          • Daisy

            Wish I knew. I turned 11 like three weeks before the election.

          • revenant

            not quite.
            having Traitor Don in the mix just naturally makes everything worse. we didn’t have the Klan, or Putin, or the whole sickening Drumpf family stinking up the joint back then. In fact, the more i think about, the more the last two elections seem like models of electoral decorum, awful as they were.

        • revenant

          the brazen hussy!!!!

      • Jen B_VA

        Correction: Why is there a HIPAA exception for GIRL presidential candidates.

    • btwbfdimho

      Reminded me Carville’s comment from 2008: If Hillary gave up one of her balls and gave it to Obama, he’d have two.”

  • btwbfdimho

    How long until Trump asks Putin to hack Hillary’s medical records and her doctor’s emails?

    • sw19tacotruck

      You mean publicly?

  • Sister Artemis

    People in Seattle-and-surrounding-environs: GO GO GO to your local Drinkey Thing! It’s nice to meet other wonkers, and also too we manage to cook up some good stuff! Also ALSO too (too) Donna Rose is even more adorbs in person, which right there should be an automatic get-yer-arse-down-there. And I might add, her folks are pretty cool people. So: GO GO GO!!!!

    • Suse

      Then they can mosey on down to the SF bay area, yes?

      • Sister Artemis

        Let the Wonka-Tour begin!!!!

  • Daisy

    I finished half of the damn paper, I’m taking a break from it.

    • Jen B_VA

      Wonking is good break time. Just saying.
      Course, so is showering, watching some tube, chilaxin with a beverage, reading a book…….

      • Daisy

        I’ve decided on wonking and listening to the Hamilton soundtrack on my laptop, as my roommates are studying elsewhere.

        • Suse

          Are you in an apartment situation?

          • Daisy

            I wish. I’m in a standard triple, which is tiny.

          • Jen B_VA

            heh wait til you get your first apartment. You will long for all the room you had in the dorm.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I looked up her area and thought, “Holy mole! You are screwed.”

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I’ve got a spare chest freezer she can rent and I’m only a few miles away. I could put an air mattress in it.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            It’s a trap! Once you inflate that mattress there’s barely room to wriggle out of the handcuffs.

          • Catstro

            I dunno, 500 sq ft isn’t a lot, but it’s better than spending another semester with someone you hate. Or with anyone.

          • Daisy

            Dorms are honestly a lot smaller than apartments, also too.

          • Left Coast Tom

            Fortunately the Bay Area’s climate is such that the outdoors can be your living room. It better be, given the real estate prices…

            In San Francisco…a micro-apartment, 232 sq. ft., sold for $425K.

          • taco truck vagenda

            About 30 years ago, there was a burned-out shack somewhere (I forget exactly where) on i-280 between the City and and the 380 junction. Someone had spray painted “$250k or best offer” on it. Would probably sell for $1 million now.

          • Jen B_VA

            Dang 500? My first plot was erm, like 250 I think? There was basically a bed and a lil kitchenette and a bathroom that was shower/toilet/sink
            Had a window, however.

          • Catstro

            I lived in a town with cheap housing and my scholarship covered (at least part of) the cost of off-campus housing. I lived in a beautiful neighborhood in an ugly apartment complex that was clearly built in the 60s for “the help”. Ugly, but mine alone (and after living with a bible beater for a year, that made it feel like a fucking mansion).

          • Suse

            Didn’t know they had triple dorm rooms. I hope you get along well with them.

          • Daisy

            Oh, I do! I’m going to use a phrase used to describe Anthony Ramos for one of them: she’s the “human reincarnation of a sunflower.”
            Seriously, she’s that nice. And the other is pretty cool, just forgets her key too much, and I hate opening the door.

          • Suse

            Lucky you – that’s great (except for the key thing). I like “human reincarnation of a sunflower.” I know someone like that and she’s a delight.

          • Daisy

            I loved it when I saw it too. From what little I know of Anthony Ramos, it seems to describe him well.

          • BadKitty904

            Aw, very nice!

  • phoenix00

    Ahh Washington. Even better neighbours to us British Columbians than Alberta. Keep Sakura-con and Pax-West alive for us mmkay?

    Not to mention hammering out a few more 737s and Dreamliners wouldn’t hurt either.

  • msanthropesmr

    Cous-cous tofu salad for dinner w/feta, orzo, chickpeas, cilantro, cucumbers, spring onions, lime, rice vinegar and salt.

    • Suse

      Gosh that sounds good!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Taking a page out of Jeff’s book and doing home made combo pizza, whole wheat crust with a green salad.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Sounds good. Not worked with whole wheat……

        • Jonny On Maui

          2/3 1/3 mix, 1/3 whole wheat…

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            Oh. I can see that. I am a straight bread flour guy myself.

      • BadKitty904

        Mmmm…

    • tehbaddr

      Nice, fancy, pretty much my recipe for cous-cous save for the feta and rice vinegar.

    • BadKitty904

      Ha! Food-truck Round-up! Grilled pedang fish, tamales, and curry puffs, with mojito iced tea.

      • I Only Like Cats

        Did you bring enough tamales for the whole class? D<

        • BadKitty904

          I can run back and get more – our town is teeny, so nothing is very far from anything else.

      • Suse

        It’s an international feast! I miss the great food trucks in San Francisco since I stopped working.

        • Daisy

          I miss not-dining hall food.

          • Suse

            UMass has the best college food.

          • Daisy

            Cal’s isn’t bad or anything, I guess a lot of it is missing my mom’s food.

          • BadKitty904

            Awww…

          • Daisy

            I just miss her in general. And it’s my dad’s 50th birthday in two days. And I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to call, because Tuesday’s are my bad days. And while I’m at it, “Satisfied” came on, damn it.

          • Jen B_VA

            You will call. Make the time- ten minutes, all you need.

          • BadKitty904

            Aw, now, sugar… *pets Daisy*

          • Daisy

            I found a picture of the “human reincarnation of a sunflower”, Anthony Ramos:https://www.pinterest.com/pin/343258802832858746/

          • BadKitty904

            Oh. MY.

          • Daisy

            He’s so frickin’ adorable it hurts.

          • BadKitty904
  • I Only Like Cats

    Ah, imagine the moral panic that would occur if a female candidate to any political office did what I do and actually sit on the floor when there’s something needed resting at ground level.

    • Daisy

      I go into tear everything apart mode when I’m upset. (It’s because most of the time, I’ve lost something.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I get dizzy and breathless really easily (I also forget to take my inhalers, constantly).

      • BadKitty904

        I tend to become very quiet and still. As the light dims and ice forms over all nearby surfaces. My bf says it’s pretty impressive to watch, in a frightening sorta way.

        • dshwa

          Back before I spent 5 years in therapy fixing my anger issues, I always said as long as you could hear me it was safe, but as soon as I got quiet it was time to run for the hills.

          • Jen B_VA

            My kids say just the same thing about me! Apparently I am much more terrifying when I stop yelling

          • Spotts1701

            Cold anger, the kind of quiet fury that blazes behind the eyes, is not something you want to be the target of. It’s like being on the wrong end of a gunsight – it’s time to be somewhere else with alacrity.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    O/T: I notice that, despite Obama’s refusal to say the magic words “radical islam terror”, no terrorisms have occurred today, the 9/11 anniversary.

    Oh. And fuck you Cheney.

    On the 15th anniversary of 9/11, Republican former Vice President Dick Cheney attacked the sitting president of the United States in order to blame President Obama for the mistakes of the Bush Cheney administration.

    http://www.politicususa.com/2016/09/11/hypocrite-moral-failure-dick-cheney-attacks-sitting-president-911.html

    • Daisy

      “Dick” really is appropriate, isn’t it?

      • Jen B_VA

        Even his name is projection

      • BadKitty904

        Karma…

    • SeekingBarbie

      My hatred for him burns like the heat of a thousand suns.

      • Suse

        He’s positively Machiavellian.

        • BadKitty904

          But without the intelligence or subtlety.

    • DainBramage

      Bush and Dick should both be in prison. For real, not this BS “Hillary for Prison” BS.

      • (((JustPixelz)))

        Here ya go…

  • Jonny On Maui

    The rain followed me down the mountain, 10 minutes behind. The day is determined to be grey.

    Po’olenalena beach, 10 am, right before the rain arrives…

    From both sides of the point…

    • Jen B_VA

      I would take the rain for that brief glimps. Sssiiiggghhhhh

      • sw19tacotruck

        Since you ask – okay, just to make you even more jealouser ;p – I spent a few days in southern Italy last week. All grey and soggy, but great espressos and some lovely atmospheric shots of the Amalfi coast and twisty-windy streets.
        Brought a piece of vesuvian lava from the beach back for my housemate (and some prosciutto). She was well chuffed.

        • Jen B_VA

          Nice. I would not mind if someone brought me home some vesuvian lava.
          Course, it would be a better mate who took me to Italy so I could bring home my OWN vesuvian lava, but I digress.
          Someday, Wombles. Someday!

          • sw19tacotruck

            If I’d known, I would have picked up one more from the beach. :) Mind you, I was hand luggage only, and security at Napoli airport did give me an insouciant look when they checked out the lumps of prosciutto and cheese. No comment about Jess my traveling companion being stowed away too tho, but then I’m sure they’ve seen some real stuff in their time. :)

          • Jen B_VA

            I almost do not want to ask, knowing you a little, but I feel I must ask or I will start imagining things in my head and that is no good for anyone.
            Ahem…Jess?

          • sw19tacotruck

            Still working through all the photos, but here’s Jess:
            She’s a much better photographer than me ;)

        • Arolpin

          The little village of Maiori (sp?) along the Amalfi coast may be my favorite place in the world. I was on the first US Navy ship that anchored there since WWII. It was part of the 50th Anniversary of the invasion of Salerno, and the British SpecOps guys who landed the day before the landing had been going back to that village since the end of the war. Several of the surviving men had homes in the area, and they were still incredibly fit for 70-85 years old. (They had them hike up the mountain as part of the ceremony, forgetting that they were not kids anymore and that it was a hell of a strenuous hike even for young, fit people. They made it, and I bought them lots of drinks after.)
          I discovered while drinking with these men that nobody had thought to arrange a visit to the ship, so I excused myself, flagged down one of my officers on Shore Patrol duty, contacted the Captain, and set up tours for all of the Brits quickly enough to get back for the next round.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Poor Jonny. We all feel so, so sorry for you. /sarcasm

  • tehbaddr

    Oh, so this is where all the cool Wonkers are hanging out. Why do you all hate ‘Merikan freedums and crying eagles so much, also, too!

    • I Only Like Cats

      Because we are libtards and we hate America and everything it stands for. Or so they tell me.

    • Spotts1701

      I’m allergic to jingoism. Gives me hives.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Yes, this.

    • BadKitty904

      Is counterproductive to glorious People’s revolution!

  • Daisy

    “Daddy said to be home by sundown.”
    “Daddy doesn’t need to know.”

    I love “The Schuyler Sisters” so much.

    • I Only Like Cats

      That song reminded me of my sisters and I very much. XD

      • Daisy

        That’s great! :) I don’t have siblings.

        • BadKitty904

          I have two I’d be happy to loan you for extended periods.

          • Daisy

            I think I’m good. :)

          • BadKitty904

            You sure? It’s be no sort of difficulty, I do assure you.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            Can we get one, or do we have to take the set?

          • BadKitty904

            I’m sorry, it’s a set. On the plus side, the older, brunestte one is a hard worker and the smaller, red-headed one is decorative, if sedated.

  • Suse

    OT: Casablanca is on TMC at 5:00 PDT-8:00 EDT. I watch it mostly to see Claude Rains in action.

    • taco truck vagenda

      My favorite exchange:

      “You despise me, don’t you?”
      “If I gave you any thought I probably would.”

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Beat me to it, MY favorite exchange

      Major Strasser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris?
      Rick: It’s not particularly my beloved Paris.
      Heinz: Can you imagine us in London?
      Rick: When you get there, ask me!
      Captain Renault: Hmmh! Diplomatist!
      Major Strasser: How about New York?
      Rick: Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade.

    • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

      I watched The Invisible Man so i could not see Claude Raines in action. ;-)

      • Suse

        Hahaha!

      • sw19tacotruck

        ICSWYDT

        • Beaumarchais?

          Helen Keller’s favorite movie!

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      You must remember this,
      Trump is just a prick
      A stye in one’s eye
      The fundamentalists all cry
      When Hillary gets the bye.

    • BadKitty904
      • Suse

        This, and “round up the usual suspects.” Also, too, the La Marseillaise scene.

        • Basket of Vagendas
          • Suse

            Anywhere there’s a Drumpf building.

          • Basket of Vagendas

            Actually, I suspect those would surrender pretty quickly.

  • Daisy

    “I pray the king shows you his mercy!”

    “Is he in Jersey?”

    The way Lin says this makes me laugh every time!

  • Daisy

    Bless my philosophy instructor, he realized the photocopy posted online his the numbers cut off, making it difficult to tell what passage we are supposed to be reading. So he’s uploading a new one.

    • Jen B_VA

      He’s a good egghead

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Accoring to the Gateway Pundit, David Schuster is reporting – by way of Twitter – that the DNC is holding an emergency meeting to consider replacing Hillary because of her pneumonia & today’s collapse. uh, yeah. Sure.

    • Jen B_VA

      I like how Davey boy puts CONSIDER in caps so he can later point to that and go “well of course they considered it!”

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        “Desperation is like stealing from the Mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention.”

        — Douglas Horton

        • Jen B_VA

          Damn I was banned from there.
          Was gonna ask them
          Questions: Do conservatives really not understand how elections work?
          I know this will get me banned, but I just have to know before I go- do you not understand, truly, what a VP pick is all about? What it is for?

        • btwbfdimho

          “Having a 69 is like dealing with the Mafia:…”

      • sw19tacotruck

        He had to put CONSIDER because his first attempt at tweeting it just said they’re actually replacing her.

        • Jen B_VA

          oh lolz. Even better XD

          Edit: Does he not know how this works, eh?

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      ZOMG! IS SHE CONTAGIOUS?!?!?! THIS IS WORSE THAN THE ENOLA VIRUS!!! I MEAN HIV ZIKA!!!

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        BENGHAZI-ITIS!!!1!!11!

        • Jen B_VA

          lolz, one of those fruits there at Pinky’s link said something about convenient timing for Benghazi day.
          Being banned is no fun, humpf. I am sure I never said anything especially controversial there.

    • BadKitty904

      I’ll not have whatever he’s smoking.

    • BosGrl

      I used to like David Shuster…

      • Jen B_VA

        Now now, he only said they are meeting to CONSIDER.
        That gives him allll the plausible outs.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      So, I has a confuse. Did Hillary’s ninjas decide to take her down?

      • Jen B_VA

        It’s all an evil plot of the liberals to make us accept Bieden as president (though, the fools do not seem to understand that we would have probably very much voted for him to begin with)

    • Suse

      Oh, FFS!

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      What a load of self-loathing, humorless dittoheads on that site. Many basketsfull.

      • Jen B_VA

        I love how so many of them feel smug- their word- that someone is sick.

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          One of them was so proud of having flagged my comment. Now I bye-bye. Their loss. The collective IQ of the room just took a nosedive.

          • Jen B_VA

            rofl. I flagged it! It thinks different from us!!!!!
            Maybe one will wander here and we can teach it how to properly deal with dissidents.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            Too bad the twats are too skeared to have an easily found contact address. Was curious to know why pointing out that someone had ad hominemed me got me kicked out but not the nimwit ad hominem. Oh, fuck, like it matters. Silly geese-fuckiers.

        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          There is not enough butthurt creme in the FUCKING UNIVERSE to soothe these assholes come November 9th.

          (I actually traveled to that link. I am scared for America.
          DO NOT CLICK THE LINK.)

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      Do those dumbasses realize they’re being trolled? “Operative in the DNC?” Jeebus waltzing christo they’re dumb.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Hows about a drinky thingy in VA during the week of Dec 4-10 In a central spot…..only rule, No Trump Wine.

    • Jen B_VA

      Dec is loverly in VA ^.^ Where Central? Richmond?

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Sure. That is cool. Just not the Cumberland Gap.

        • Jen B_VA

          That is a little not very central, being all west as it is XD

        • Vagendadentacohontas

          I love that song!

  • I Only Like Cats

    I’m about to have a panic attack because there are people I don’t know here, I wasn’t warned that there was going to be a gathering or people were coming and I need to eat but I don’t want to repeat the experiment I just tried where I went out to get food and was so freaked out had to run back to my room.

    • Daisy

      *hugs* I’m so sorry, I wish I knew what to do to help.

      • I Only Like Cats

        Its OK I have protein bars in here.

        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          Have anyone who can go with you as sidekick? Always helped me.

          • I Only Like Cats

            It would help me too but my roommate isn’t home yet (or is downstairs).

          • BadKitty904

            Can you call/text him/her and get him/her to come rescue you?

        • BadKitty904

          Could you order a pizza and hoist it up via the window? (Y’all quit – I’ve done it before, myownself.)

          • I Only Like Cats

            I could not because of the screen but I have leftover pizza from yesterday (it’s container requires it be heated in the oven).

          • BadKitty904

            Hmm. It’s no help now, o’ course, but a small, sealable box of emergency snacks under your bed might be useful for future emergencies.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I have a drawer with protein bars in it.

          • BadKitty904

            You have something to drink? The crisis should pass soon – most o’ these folks prolly have to work tomorrow morning.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I had hot chocolate, everyone is gone now (I believe)

          • BadKitty904

            P’raps you could crack the door a *teeny* bit and give a listen? We’ll bust you outta there yet!

    • Jen B_VA

      We’re here for you anyway, in our limited capacity :hugs:

      • I Only Like Cats

        I just wish someone would have knocked on my door and let me know, especially because they keep spilling upstairs (there appears to be quite a few so there’s just not enough room on the first floor). Then I could have braced myself.

        • Jen B_VA

          I understand. I am not much for crowded spaces myself and strangers make me sick to my stomach. BUT if I know I have to, I can sort of steel myself and get through it.
          :hugs:

        • Suse

          Where are you and who are these strangers?

          • I Only Like Cats

            At home, I think the landlords are throwing a little thing for church members or something.

          • Suse

            Aww… I’m sorry. Stay with us here and we’ll help you get through it.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Thankfully I have headphones, a TV in here, and a lock on my door. I don’t think the upstairs was supposed to be open to the guests, I think they just meandered up here.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            I tend to like a loudspeaker and an MP3 of a racking shotgun available. Tends to cease the meandering.

          • Jen B_VA

            Tape of barking dogs. Remember those?

          • I Only Like Cats

            Roommate’s cat is locked in their room (with food, water and her litterbox) and the noise and people are just as scary to her as me.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            ♡♡♡
            We care, and know you’ll be just fine!

          • BosGrl

            Maybe tomorrow you and/or your roommate can just politely ask the landlord for some kind of heads’ up next time? That’s not asking much; it seems like they should have done that.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I’m sure they would have but I try really hard to stay out of everyone’s way and I’ve been more anxious than usual the last couple of days.

          • BosGrl

            My daughters and I suffer from pretty bad panic attacks so I send you lots of hugs and understanding.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Thanks, I’m afraid the one person up here right now thinks I’m racist because of the look of horror on my face. (She is black.) I would in fact like to make friends with her but she’s on the phone and I am terrified.

          • BosGrl

            Don’t worry about her, she probably doesn’t think that and anyway, you’re the one suffering. Do you have a fidget toy or some kind of sensory thing you can hold?

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            Oh honey! I would hug you if it would help and I happened to be in the same time zone, but the best I can do is let you know that you’re not alone and things can be better…brains are hard things to have and you’re not alone :-) friends abound!

          • sw19tacotruck

            Fucking extroverts!

    • BosGrl

      Ugh I HATE that!

    • SeekingBarbie

      Hopefully they will leave soon or congregate in one area so you can slither past. In the meantime, here is a wee, cute kitty to look at:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bmhjf0rKe8

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    A real thunderstorm in the desert….the monsoon continues…..

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      send some of that shit eastward, please. The weather reports keep teasing about rain out here.

      • Suse

        We are screwed here in CA.

        • Jen B_VA

          I always wonder why we do not have some serious water pipes going from like, the middle that has too much rain to the west where they have not enough rain.
          And then i remember it would a: cost money and b: probably not make much money so therefore c: it is never going to happen even though we can pipe crude twice that distance.

          • Paperless Tiger

            Kadhafi built a water system like that for Libya so they blew it up and killed him. That proves it’s a bad idea.

          • Jen B_VA

            Makes sense.

          • SeekingBarbie

            Maybe not. A lot of people/organizations are predicting water wars. Here’s one from NatGeo:
            http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/07/world-aquifers-water-wars/

          • Courser

            I’m a Coloradan, so man, don’t even get me started on water issues. Western water law is just insane. Everyone wants our water and our population is booming as well. Not to mention, we also get brutal droughts (we may be queued up for one now).

            So yes, water is a HUGE fucking deal.

          • SeekingBarbie

            I’m in New Mexico, so I know what you’re talking about. I used to commute with an attorney who worked for the State Engineer’s Office and worked with water treaties, so that was interesting.

          • I Only Like Cats

            My mom’s boyfriend (Republican, of course, the same way she’s basically a socialist) was talking about how they need a pipe or something that would bring down water from areas with excess “But of course that would never happen with Democrats always trying block bills” or something.

          • cousin itt

            As you probably know, we just got the right to keep the freaking rain that falls on our own freaking property. http://denver.cbslocal.com/2016/05/12/gov-hickenlooper-signs-bill-to-allow-rainwater-collection/

            THAT’S just one way how crazy western water law can get.

          • Jen B_VA

            Nothing new under the sun. Civilization began in large part due to control water resources, it should end doing the same.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    The GOP nominee is set to appear on Dr. Oz’s television show this week to discuss his “personal health regimen.”

    I only eat the greatest Taco bowls and Big Macs from my health food endorser McDONALD’s. I save energy by having Chris get me the food.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      Crap … now we’re gonna get Trumpenstien in our weekly WOO article, too.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Plus, having Chris fetch it means that I eat less of it than if it had all arrived.

    • efoveks

      Dr. Oz has really sold out. :-(

      • I Only Like Cats

        One of his episodes about how to get a bigger butt easily (with a real expert, even) is actually really helpful.

        • efoveks

          I caught this a little late, so pardon the “dead thread”, but I just had to say, that is hilarious! In the past, I have watched Dr. Oz and really enjoyed his quirky demos. God forbid, I’ve even larned me a thing or two. :-)

  • sw19tacotruck

    All this Hillary bullshit has made me wonder – has anyone actually made comment about how much time and money Trump seems to spend in the fake tanning salon?

    I mean, what’s he trying to cover up? Maybe his actual skin tone is deathly pale from all that junk food and lack of exercise. He doesn’t look right. People are always asking me about it, I’m just saying…

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      I just read that online. Verbatim.

      • sw19tacotruck

        Several sources are now corroborating this breaking news story. We’ve reached out to the Trump campaign, but they’ve yet to comment. More on this growing crisis for the Republican nominee after this break….

    • Suse

      I think his real skin probably looks something like Spam.

      • BadKitty904

        Trump’s REAL “human” form…

    • Paperless Tiger

      I’m not real impressed with the healthcare they are giving Granny. They have a vaccine for pneumonia now, y’now. With Western Civilization in the balance, maybe they could up their game just a bit.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Maybe this will be a public health teachable moment. I could be wrong, but I don’t think the vaccines protect against all strains.

        • efoveks

          Pneumonia is a general term, and you are right– the vaccine does not cover all strains

      • I Only Like Cats

        There are multiple ways to get pneumonia. Viruses, microorganisms, bacteria, etc. There isn’t a vaccine for all of them, the same way bronchitis may or may not be contagious.

      • Catstro

        Have they said what kind of pneumonia? I’m assuming it’s walking pneumonia (I’ve had regular pneumonia, and I couldn’t walk from my bed to the bathroom without gasping for air); if yes, there is no vaccine—my mom gets it almost every winter, I know she would get a vaccine if there was one.

        • SeekingBarbie

          There are vaccines but they don’t vaccinate against everything. She should talk to her doc.
          http://www.cdc.gov/features/adult-pneumococcal/

          I once had pneumonia when I was in my 20s; like you, I could barely move, had to sleep sitting up.

          • Catstro

            There for sure isn’t one against the walking pneumonia she gets. She should probably get the vaccine anyway, it would suck to get regular pneumonia on top of (or right after) the walking kind.

            I should probably investigate it myself; I’m asthmatic, and I haven’t had an attack in probably 4 or 5 years, but the last one I had was on top of bronchitis and landed me in the hospital. I literally thought I was going to die. P.S. If you want immediate help in the ER, apparently the magic words are “help, I have asthma and I can’t breathe”.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Once I got emergency care because some idiot sprayed perfume on a bus and I didn’t have an inhaler and my face was puffy, my lips were blue, I looked like a corpse and the doctor tried to tell me I had a panic attack. This was in a very rural area.

          • Catstro

            I’m sorry, that sounds awful! I’ve also had panic attacks since I was 6, so I know the fucking difference. I will say that the ER doctor who saw me (who was fucking awesome), told me that the first thing she was doing was giving me a shot of Valium, because I was at a point where not being able to breathe was making me panic, and the panic was making the asthma attack worse. BUT not to worry, she didn’t think it was just a panic attack or all in my head, and that it’s just a very common reaction to not being able to breathe because, duh.

            Sorry about your chemical sensitivity, too. I have a really bad reaction to cigarette smoke, but not that bad.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Yeah, I could tell just from smelling it it was something that was supposed to be diluted (but it was not) and the bus was stuffy. I’ve also had panic attacks and they never led to an ER visit so clearly the doc was a quack.

          • SeekingBarbie

            I encourage you to discuss this with your health care provider. I get a flu shot every year, too. The last time I had the flu, probably 2 or 3 decades ago, it was one of those swine strains. I was so sick I had to crawl to the bathroom and make rest stops on the way–and it was only about 15 feet away. I hope never to repeat that.

    • SeekingBarbie

      The Melanoma Research Foundation says that tanning, including tanning beds, is dangerous and leads to cancer.
      https://www.melanoma.org/understand-melanoma/preventing-melanoma/why-is-tanning-dangerous

      • sw19tacotruck

        Oh great – so now Trump has Cancer!

        • SeekingBarbie

          If that strange orange hue is from tanning lights, he’s at grave risk.

          • cousin itt

            It’s his grave that’s at risk.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            OH MY GOD, HE HAS JAUNDICE!!! No wonder his view of women, minorities, and foreigners is so, well, jaundiced!

          • cousin itt

            It’s the Orange Peril.

    • BadKitty904

      I just reckoned it was malaria. But then I was told that’s his wife.

    • DainBramage

      I keep saying that Trump has a machine that extracts the melanin from Eric’s body. He then trowels it onto his face. Fortunately, the process is extremely uncomfortable for Eric.

  • I Only Like Cats

    How does Donald Trump not have an “American Greed” episode yet?

    • BadKitty904

      Why is Donald Trump not in prison yet?

  • cousin itt
    • I Only Like Cats

      Sad

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        Must be trying to stay in the will. Of course, there’s nothing to bequeath.

        • I Only Like Cats

          Probably debt and lawsuits to bequeath.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            “Well, debt is a kind of wealth.”

            — Lionel Hutz, Trump Attorney

    • TJ Barke

      OH MY GOD, IDIOTS! HE’S A FUCKING SCAM ARTIST! HIS ENTIRE CAMPAIGN IS A SCAM, HE IS NOT AND WILL NOT FIGHT FOR ANYONE BUT HIMSELF AND HIS GIANT EGO! WAKE THE FUCK UP!

    • Jen B_VA

      I’ve never even heard of the frog thing.
      However, the hard working men and women that support Trump are in part a bunch of white nationalist fucktards and if he is proud to be associated with that, that would be on him.

    • Doug Langley

      I’m just no good at these Where’s Waldo things.

  • I Only Like Cats

    http://extract.suntimes.com/news/10/153/22508/us-inmates-launch-massive-national-strike-end-forced-prison-labor Is this not the 21st century? Could someone direct me to the actual date, then.

    • BosGrl

      Well this is pretty awful :(

      • I Only Like Cats

        Does anyone care about prisoners’ human rights?

        • BosGrl

          No because they DESERVE to be there, circumstances be damned. Never mind that our criminal justice system is biased and subject to whim and the judge’s personal beliefs but whatever.

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    Is this the Godwindammerung?

    • cousin itt

      Der Derp des Trumpelungen.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    OK, may be about to have a thing with a cousing on Facebook. He shared somebody’s post of this:
    https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14333564_175931822812679_5937354573540070104_n.jpg?oh=007a88148099442ff1e23e4d66eb4c61&oe=58787A27

    To which I replied, ” I never knew you were a racist asshole.” It appears he’s in the process of typing a response.

    • I Only Like Cats

      Keep us updated because he sounds like a the pits of humanity. Didn’t you notice white sheets and burnt crosses?

      • Courser

        One of the basket of dumbasses?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Life took us in different directions, so have have nearly no contact with him for . . . .30 years, now. He’s posted some nasty shit before, but I’ve ignored it, because most of it could be considered vaguely humorous, if you squint hard enough. I decided to confront him, and well. Here we are. That’s one deplorable out of my life.

    • BosGrl

      Oh my.

    • BadKitty904

      I’d say don’t waste your time/breath/typing. He’s unsalvageable and you’d just be making yourself unnecessarily crazy.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Well, I’ll give him credit for owning it. Replied that yep, after “working in section 8 housing for years,” he sure was, and if I didn’t like it, unfriend him. “In fact, I’ll save you the trouble,” and unfriended me. Ohwell. Better off without him.

      • I Only Like Cats

        He clearly was racist when he started. Section 8 housing has many more white families than black and they’re much more ghetto (speaking as someone who has lived in Section 8).

        • Pinkham’s Law

          You’re probably right, but maybe not. He’s in Cleveland, which is a very heavily blah city. There ARE numerous projects which are nearly 100% black. If that’s where he’s been working, it could explain how he got his abhorrent, twisted and inaccurate picture of the black community. Not that it matters.

          • I Only Like Cats

            There are plenty of good people within the housing as well so I don’t think anything except being an abhorrent person could explain that much racism. But I’m mixed so not as forgiving on that issue.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I have the luxury – the privilege, if you will – of approaching race issues from a more . . . clinical? yes, let’s go with that . . . point of view. I try to keep that in mind when I consider those issues. I doubt that I always succeed.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Wonderful to know struggling families have someone looking out for their best interests in housing.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Much like electing “public servants” who insist government is incapable of doing anything right.

      • BadKitty904

        Exactly. HIS loss.

    • Spotts1701

      Damn…just…damn

    • cousin itt

      COUSIN DISOWNING

    • Amy!

      That’s deplorable.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      They forgot the Fried Chicken Eating Contest and the Impregnate White Girls-A-Thon.

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        Where’s the watermelon power lifting?

        Sheeh! Amateurs!

        • I Only Like Cats

          Someone at my first job once told me there was a n****rometer and the holy trinity was fried chicken, watermelon, and koolaid. I was not amused. Of course I look white and didn’t have a picture of my mom back then so when I said I didn’t find it funny, being mixed, he accused me of lying and tried to defend himself. The person in charge of us did nothing.

          • BosGrl

            This is why I assume everyone is racist until proven otherwise and try to keep my guard up but sometimes it can hit you like a punch in the eye.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            I assume everyone wants to make love with me, and I’m frequently disappointed when I try to act on that assumption, and also some times I get a punch in the eye.

          • SeekingBarbie

            I’ve never really understood the fried chicken and watermelon thing. They are both big business because ALMOST EVERYONE LIKES THEM! Sheesh.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I’ve explained many times that chicken is the cheapest meat and frying is an inexpensive way to make it tastier, and watermelon is by far the cheapest fruit that can feed a lot of people but prejudices exist because people let them.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Two of my favorite foods = fried chicken and watermelon.
            I think it’s a Southern thing, so I’m not sure why morons associate it with “the blacks.”

          • Courser

            We always had fried chicken, watermelon and koolaid when I was a kid in No. IL. And my childhood neighborhood was pretty damn white until Jr. high.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s the same way a fondness for tacos has been used to disparage Mexican-Americans, when in fact-as we all know-everyone loves tacos.

          • phoenix00

            This Hong Kong-born Chinese Canadian loves both.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      “Trump Voter Assaulting” = LOLZ!

    • BadKitty904

      It’s a good thing racism no longer exists in America. Per the Scalia Supreme Court.

    • Stulexington

      All I can say is

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      If it’s any consolation to you I have a relative who was guilty of murdering a black guy who was driving with a white woman in his car. I’d like to say it was back in the 1930s, but this happened in the 1980s. My grandmother said something like “he was just defending himself.” I said “he chased a guy who wasn’t doing anything to him in to a parking lot, and then shot him, because he had to?” Luckily the judge saw things my way, and he was found guilty of murder. He was a distant relative (second cousin, maybe), and I don’t remember how long his sentence was, but I hope he learned something while he was in jail with a very mixed bag of people.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Holy Jesus! This one is . . .well. Born out of wedlock, his mom had to move back in with our G’ma & G’pa – but they would NOT ALLOW that bastard child to live in their house. My mom & dad took him in and raised him as their own for the first 3 or 4 years of his life. He’s the closest thing to a brother that a non-sibling could be. Honestly, I’m saying “Better off without him,” but my heart is breaking tonight.

        • BosGrl

          You know, he may have unfriended you quickly out of shame. Maybe there’s hope for him.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            One can hope. Family reunion could be awkward, though.

        • I Only Like Cats

          Oh, well, then I’ll give him the same benefit of the doubt you do. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. Understanding it is a problem is the second.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            So, you’re saying you would refuse to acknowledge his existence at the next family reunion? Because that’s what I plan to do.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Isn’t it odd that someone who suffered being branded a bastard, would brand other people with such ease?

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I cannot comment without risking the banhammer.

    • Blender_415

      I get everything but the “6FT Fence Hurdle” thing. But yeah, you should unleash the hounds of reason on that person.

      • BosGrl

        I think it’s like on TV when the “perp” is running away from the police and there always seems to be a big fence in the way.

  • BosGrl

    LOL!

    • Astraea

      I’m shocked that a Trump fan would be a totally clueless asshole!

      • BadKitty904

        Shocked! SHOCKED, I say!!1!

    • Spotts1701

      Did he get windburn from the point whizzing right by him?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Irony has never been a friend of the wingnuts.

      • BosGrl

        I almost feel bad, s/he is so PROUD!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Maybe suggest that he/she can cut eye holes in the t-shirt and use it as a hood in a pinch.

      • BadKitty904

        Nor Reality.

    • BadKitty904

      If he wants honesty in government, he might try this t-shirt:

      • BosGrl

        Sadly I fear this would go over their heads too.

        • BadKitty904

          Then they are too stupid to waste any further time on. We have better things to do with our time.

          • eddi

            My toenails need trimming.

          • BadKitty904

            See?

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Yeah, the first thing that pops into my mind when I hear the name Trump is “now there’s an honest guy who is totally uncorruptible!”

    • eddi

      Totally clueless. I like that about Rebs. The jokes make themselves.

  • Suse

    Time for a pup, I think…

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    Casablanca @ TCM. Allons enfants!

    • BadKitty904
      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Here’s looking at you, kid.

      • BosGrl

        That makes me cry every time. THAT is patriotism. Not eagles with tears of blood.

        • BadKitty904

          These people were risking imprisonment or death by their act of patriotism. GOP “patriots” are very careful to risk nothing.

          • eddi

            Or to risk other people’s lives. Whichever makes more money.

          • BadKitty904

            Horrifically true. They profit on American blood.

          • eddi

            And they are not the good looking kind of vampires.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Captain Renault: “I’ve often speculated why you don’t return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a senator’s wife? I like to think you killed a man. It’s the Romantic in me.”

      Rick:” It was a combination of all three.”

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        I like to think that Rick Blaine and Captain Renault are regulars here.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          A good bit of my misspent youth was spent in the watering holes of Manhattan. I realized last night that Wonkette is my new bar (Rebecca’s Cafe Americain), since I’m too much of an old fart to stay up past midnight these days.

        • BadKitty904

          I would totally rock Renault’s dress and undress uniforms.

          • I would like to rock Ilsa’s trench coat. Still unsure on the hat

          • eddi

            Hats come and go. (Especially in a high wind) But the trench coat is now immortal.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Updated Version:

        Matt Lauer: “I’ve often speculated why you’re running for president. Did Obama hurt your wittle feelings when he made fun of you at the WH correspondent’s dinner? Did your wife tell you that she found you to be a repulsive, old, orange man? I like to think you killed a man. It’s the Romantic in me.”

        Trump: “It was a combination of all three. I killed the man right on 5th Avenue.”

    • doktorzoom

      Paraphrasing some long-ago article on the making of the movie: Yes, it’s got so many wonderful, immortal lines. But it’s also got “Is that cannon fire, or it it my heart pounding?”

  • SeekingBarbie
    • BosGrl

      The 45 even says “Register and Vote”!

      • SeekingBarbie

        Wow, I didn’t even notice that. Cool.

      • eddi

        Came out just as 18 year olds won the right to vote. Power to the people, baby!

    • BadKitty904

      Psht. Even WITH pneumonia, Hilz would make a better President and is a better man than Trump on his most lucid days.

      • I Only Like Cats

        She’s probably also physically stronger.

        • BadKitty904

          She would have to be. She’s FAR more active than The Traitor and women, in general, are hardier and longer-lived than menfolks.

          • BosGrl

            Plus she laughs when people say horrible things about her. He has a fit. That can’t be good for the blood pressure.

          • BadKitty904

            See: definition of mental disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

          • cousin itt

            Xena approves of this comment.

          • SeekingBarbie

            Women generally have more endurance, too.

          • BadKitty904

            They have to. The offspring-bearers of most species are generally hardier.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda
          • BadKitty904

            Oh, Betty, you *scamp*!

    • Courser

      OMG, I actually owned that 45. I’m so OLDzzzzz

  • BadKitty904

    In re: Hilz – as I said in a previous string – Bottom line, it’s September. I spent all yesterday and most of this morning outside – it’s HOT, OK? Considering that Hilz is ACTUALLY campaigning for President, crisscrossing the country in germ-infested planes – a strenuous job at any age – and Trump is just Twitting, no wonder she needed to “leave early”.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I was cutting wood out in the hot sun today, and almost passed out. I felt kind of wonky all day, so I guess I must be dying too.

      • SeekingBarbie

        I can’t do anything outside in the afternoon summer sun for more than 10 minutes, then it’s lie down on the sofa with a cool cloth on my forehead. And I’m a healthy person.

        • BadKitty904

          Should we notify your Vice-Presidential pick?

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          I’ve been working for months out in 98 degree heat with 80% humidity. I think I’ve aged ten years these past few months. I wake up and I’m tired, every day.

    • berkeleyfarm

      And wearing Kevlar. That stuff isn’t cool and breathable.

      I had pneumonia just after I finished college. I barely got out of bed for about a week.

      • I was accused of being dying earlier today down thread. I am prefectly fine and still an hour out from starting my last film of the day

        • BadKitty904

          I hope you get a medal or something for enduring all this.

          • This is my FOURTH year doing this, with this quantity of films. I try not to laugh at people who are all proud of seeing 10 movies

        • Pinkham’s Law

          HOW DO WE KNOW YOU’RE NOT DYING? Submit your medical history immediately, or be forever damned!

          • I have single-payer health care. Socialist medicine, bitches!

        • doktorzoom

          We’re all dying.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdIRrmNN_CQ

          (TMBG + Robert Krulwich. Makes our brief time on this mortal coil worth it.)

      • BadKitty904

        I had pleurisy two years ago, so I can sympathize. I was perfectly fine, as long as I didn’t breathe, move, etc.

      • Vienna Woods

        Yes. I wish she would just take off her shirt one of these days and say “This, motherfuckers. I have to wear this because you people are putting my life at risk with your reckless rhetoric.”

  • TJ Barke

    Me this whole campaign season: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilcRS5eUpwk

    • I Only Like Cats

      I know that feelz.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I think that every time I realize Trump is the actual Republican nominee for president, and has a fair chance of winning.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I think that every time people say Hillary and Donald are the same.

    • BadKitty904

      I haven’t experienced many Presidential campaigns as an adult. And I’m not sure I want to experience any more.

      • Catstro

        I think I have about a decade on you, and I can promise that it doesn’t get better.

        • BadKitty904

          I don’t recall POTUS campaigns when I was growing up being this vile? Was I THAT clueless a tyke?

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            No, you weren’t that clueless. Back in the Olden Tymes™ we didn’t have the inna’webs. This new fangled technology has allowed every dumbass, redneck cracker shit-fer-brains to broadcast their own insipid favor of stoopidity.

          • BadKitty904

            It’s a veritable Tidal Wave of Dumfuckery.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            The “Operation Overlord of Dumbasses”

          • Pinkham’s Law

            No. This shit is insane.

          • BadKitty904

            Thank you. I thought it was just me.

          • Hey…we never said you weren’t insane

          • DemmeVagenda

            You were not clueless.
            Trump adds that short-fingered vulgarian and batshit crazy element.
            There were vile moments, but nothing like this.

          • BadKitty904

            I’m just…

          • Doug Langley

            We’ve had bad candidates before, but nothing like this. No candidate, no matter how petty, would dare spit on parents of a fallen soldier, or call the generals idiots, or be glad the towers fell on 9/11 so his own buildings looked taller. Even the worst realized there were lines that just weren’t crossed.

          • cousin itt

            Rhetoric alone, the 19th century was worse. I think what matters is how any age calibrates it’s own sense of effrontery. Douglas took aim at Lincoln, too, saying he was a “horrid-looking wretch, sooty and scoundrelly in aspect, a cross between the nutmeg dealer, the horse-swapper and the nightman.”

          • eddi

            For those not in the know; the nightman was the shit collector.

          • doktorzoom

            Lincoln also had a fine stump reply to the accusation that he was two-faced: “If I had another face, why would I ever go out wearing this one?”

            (not gonna fact-check that one at Quote Investigator lest I be heartbroken again)

          • SeekingBarbie

            No. Campaigns were heated, but the candidates had some sort of experience and were supported by their parties. Trump has brought a whole new level of WTF insanity into it, exacerbated by the fact that a woman is running against him. This campaign is alarming and sad. Trump likes to claim the world is laughing at the US, but if they are, it’s because we nominated someone like him to run for President. However, I don’t think they’re laughing so much as recoiling in amazed horror.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            While I was in London last month, my colleagues there could only ask, “what the fuck is wrong with you Americans?”

          • Catstro

            I would say that this particular election is one for the books, but also your parents were probably good at shielding you from the bullshit when you were a kid. Also maybe you were a normal kid who didn’t pay much attention to politics ( I did and it was considered pretty weird). My dad came of age during the civil rights/Nixon era, and he assures me that elections were just as fucked up (and people in general were just as mean, though not as loud without the megaphone that is the Internet). Though I have not asked him about THIS election, because I don’t want my dad to have a stroke.

          • BadKitty904

            You’re prolly right about the “shielding” thing – though my family is extremely political, I don’t recall any of us kids being encouraged to drill down to the specifics. I imagine they were concerned we’d start some sort of Children’s Crusade to overthrown adult hegemony. Which concern, knowing my brother, was entirely justified.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Well, then, may I suggest you vote TrumPence 2016?

        • BadKitty904

          It would be easier for all you to appoint me Top Cat. I’d fix everything right up.

          SALVE, FELIS IMPERATOR!!!

          • berkeleyfarm

            Can I put an early request in for a cabinet post or Ambassador to Somewhere Nice?

          • BadKitty904

            By my hand and for the good of the State, I appoint you Ambassador to Venice, the Serene Republic.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            Well I for one welcome our new…. yada yada….

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Well, while you’re feeling benevolent, can I request a posting to . . . uh, Fiji?

          • BadKitty904

            To Fiji, French Polynesia, and Tonga. So let it be written, so let it be done.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Ooooohhhhhh Tonga. With oil!

      • Paul

        This fucking one will age you fast.

        • BadKitty904

          I have – literally – never seen or heard of ANYthing like this.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            You’re not alone. They used to disemble as a matter of course. We no longer receive that honor.

          • BadKitty904

            I’ve seen dog fights with more gravitas.

          • Jen B_VA

            Read up on Honest Abe’s election. If they had twitter back then…..

          • BadKitty904

            At least they could rectify the situation it those days by dueling.

      • vivian

        Well I hope you live a long and happy life, whether politics is part of it or not!

        • BadKitty904

          Awww! Well, there’s no telling, but I come from long-lived stock. My Great-Aunt’s 106 birthday was in January – she’s the eldest of four siblings, all of whom are still alive. Her little brother – my Great-Uncle – and his wife just celebrated their 77th wedding anniversary.

          • eddi

            Good for them. I’m aiming at at least a century or two myself.

          • BadKitty904

            With medical improvements being what they are, we all may very well.

            My bf has already jokingly referred to me as “Tuck Everlasting”…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Given my new propensity for throwing whatever is handy at the television in fits of rage whenever Trump opens his cakehole, I’m not sure I’m experiencing this campaign as an adult myself.

        • BadKitty904

          I see that as a self-preservation reflex, necessary to relieve pressure inside the skull…

  • Joshua Norton

    I just fucking lurve how every Breitbart moron who’s too stupid to spell or properly construct a sentence is now an expert in the neurosciences.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      Well, they finished their study of Climate Science, so they needed a new topic of study.

    • Spotts1701

      Everyone has pulled out their “ACME Lil’ Doctor Kit” and has decided they too can be an expert!

    • eddi

      Well if Trump knows more about everything it’s only logical that geniuses would follow him so loyally.

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    “Go ahead and shoot. You’ll be doing me a favor.” — Rick Blaine

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Let me know when they sing the Marseillaise.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Sorry, been sung.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Rats.

        • BadKitty904

          Aw, man, I always get teary-eyed.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            The whole film gets me teary eyed.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Ronald Reagan was considered for the lead in Casablanca. I can’t even imagine it without Bogart.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            If Reagan had gotten the role, they would’ve had to change the plot to include scenes of Rick selling weapons to the Nazis.

          • doktorzoom

            If it helps you enjoy the movie without shuddering, turns out that’s actually a myth. But one with an interesting backstory.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      “Remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.”

      “…That’s my least vulnerable spot.”

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    The new baby in my family! I have high hopes that he’ll date Donna Rose some day. He’s a little young for DR, but hopefully she won’t mind a younger man.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Molotov!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Two years ain’t nothing!

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I think DR is around 15 months, and he’s only two weeks old, so it’s just a bit over a year. He’s very handsome, as you can see.

        • Suse

          He looks older. Must be the mustache. Very cute!

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            He was a big boy at birth, something like 8 pounds.

          • Suse

            Ouch!

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            Can you say, “epidural?”

          • Suse

            Not after a couple of drinks.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            His mama’s a tiny little Filipino, also, too!

          • eddi

            That was one thing Mom held over my head. Sorry Mom.

          • Vienna Woods

            Both my boys. 8 lbs 6 oz. No epidural with the second.

    • I Only Like Cats

      Do you have a backup girl in case she’s gay and a backup cat in case she’s asexual and aromantic?

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Damn it! I’m fresh out of girl babies, so if DR is gay, my poor little boy will be out of luck.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      As long as you train him up right, he has a shot. Of course, he’ll have to run the gauntlet of the Wonketariat.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I was thinking more the Triwizard Tournament, but that sounds good too.

      • Shan

        He’ll have to get past Donna Rose’s first!

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Unfortunately, he’s half way across the country, so I haven’t met him yet. I’m looking forward to it, though. I just hope he has HALF the personality that Donna Rose has.

        • BosGrl

          I read those eyes as “old soul”. He is so adorable.

          • Jen B_VA

            IKR? And so friggin alert and attentive! Not that the sleepy ones are not adorbs too, but bright eyes get me every time

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            His older brother is a real sweetheart, so I hope he grows up to be like him.

    • BadKitty904

      How adorable! And what a dapper mustache!

      Heartiest congrats!!!

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Thank you! I do think he’s pretty darned cute.

    • DainBramage

      Baby Hercule Poirot is ready to solve the crime of the missing nose.
      Who has your nose? Who has your nose? Daddy has your nose! (shows thumb poking through other fingers)

      • doktorzoom

        If your dad was a plastic surgeon, that’d make the whole “Daddy’s got your nose” thing really weird. — Paula Poundstone

    • Jen B_VA

      HANDSOME!!!!! Congrats :huggles:

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Thank you!

    • doktorzoom

      Adorabobble! Spike the dragon approves!

      http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lip4s92c5F1qiq96ko1_500.jpg

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I can’t wait to meet him, and introduce him to Donna Rose some day.

  • Shan

    I haven’t caught up on all the non-comments tonight so apologies if this is a repeat.

    Pharma Brouche heckling Clinton:

    http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Pharma-Bro-Shkreli-heckles-Hillary-Clinton-9216227.php

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      All the cool douchbros wanna be Trumpkins.

    • Suse

      What a fucking jerk!

    • DainBramage

      It’s amazing how much of an asshole this guy is. In a just world, a pit of fire would open under his feet.

      • That is a power i wish i had in real life

        • Shan

          There would be a LOT of pits…

        • Suse

          I want to be like James Bond’s Aston Martin with all those cool gadgets to use on douchebags like him.

      • SeekingBarbie

        He’s probably also has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What other kind of person is that ugly and rude?

        • DainBramage

          He’s Trump’s soulmate.

          • Suse

            They have no souls.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Seems fair.

    • Daisy

      Haven’t read it, flipped him off after seeing his smug fucking face.

      • Shan

        He was hassling her as she was leaving her daughter’s apartment after the 9/11 memorial incident.

        • Daisy

          God, I hate that guy. May he burn in a fiery ball of votes.

        • Suse

          Yeah, right – her “apartment.”

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Dude needs to learn what “crunches” are.

    • eddi

      Rich and tasteless. A common pairing.

    • Suse

      Her SS detail should keep an eye on him. He sounds like a stalker.

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        that would be AWESOME.

        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          plus a goode, olde fashioned NYPD “stop and frisk”

          • eddi

            With Tasers and clubs.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            and free overnight stay at the luxurious Riker’s Island!

    • BadKitty904

      A feeble and failed attempt at relevance. I can’t imagine even Repugs minding this vile wretch.

      • eddi

        Only if he gives them money. But he should be used to paying for love.

        • BadKitty904

          Or a facsimile thereof.

          • eddi

            He thinks it’s real because that what makes him love others. They pour money into his pocket.

          • BadKitty904

            He’s “damaged goods” – his behavior is that of a sad, twisted individual.

        • Suse

          Who in their right mind would hook up with him? I believe his dates are of the vinyl kind and require an air pump.

    • Courser

      I think it’s pretty fucking creepy. Christ on a bike!

      • Jen B_VA

        Meh, trying to get in with the wingnut grift circuit.
        The dude is hated by EVERYONE. If he is ever going to get in good again he has to appeal to the only folks who would accept him- ie, fellow deplorable scum who’s hate of liberals quite literally Trumps their humanity.

    • btwbfdimho

      Why is he out of the basket of deplorables?

  • I Only Like Cats

    I still have a couple hours of work to catch up on. Thanks everyone, it turns out landlords were having a barbecue and a showing of the Seahawks game (their TV is huge, so I understand that actually) and they had warned/invited us but my roommate forgot to mention it to me. You guys are the best, have fun with your idle speculation and intelligent debates.

    • SeekingBarbie

      Have a good night. Hope you got a proper dinner.

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        and the kitty doesn’t need therapy.

      • BadKitty904

        Something good. And a treat for dessert, too. You’ve earned it.

    • Suse

      I’m glad you’re okay. I read that as “intelligent diabetes.” I think I’ve had too much wine.

      • BadKitty904

        “Is there such a thing?”, he ponders whilst sipping.

    • BadKitty904

      Ha! You’re free! Now, run outside and scamper about in the fresh air.

    • Daisy

      *more hugs* Glad things are better now.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    For those of you who like old movies, there’s a Gene Tierney documentary on GetTV, starting in five minutes.

    • Suse

      I love her. She had a sad life. Watching it now.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        She had everything, but I’ve heard she had a tragic life.

        • Suse

          Very much so.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            This is why I never envy other people their beauty, or brains, or money, or talent, because you never know what their life is really like.

          • Suse

            Look at the Kennedys as an example.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Excellent example.

  • BadKitty904

    My sugar-bun just poured me a lil’ sup of Madeira, so I’m thinking we’ve earned a Nat King Cole break:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th-QbzRyMIE

    • Suse

      What a voice he had.

      • BadKitty904

        Like butterscotch and brandy…

        • Suse

          Perfect description!

  • reelreeler
  • Daisy

    OT: Me and guy across hall are both Harry Potter geeks, so he wore his Gryffindor quidditch t-shirt, and wore my Ravenclaw sorting hat t-shirt.

    • BadKitty904
    • Jen B_VA

      Can’t go too wrong with a fellow Potterhead methinks. Friends are good things

      • Daisy

        They are.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      I’m a Ravenclaw in a house filled with Gryffindors.

      • Daisy

        He’s a Ravenclaw, but has a Gryffindor shirt. Granted, I have a Slytherin shirt, so there’s that.

        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          A joy raising a voracious reader who came of age reading Potter at the same time I did. She’s a Hufflepuff, also too.

          • Jen B_VA

            My son informs me he is a Gryffindor or whatevers. I tried asking him what I was, but he said mowgli or something so I stopped asking.

          • BadKitty904

            Doesn’t “mowgli” mean “tadpole”? Maybe he meant “mogwai”?

          • Jen B_VA

            No idea, still have not read or watched the films. I just smile and nod.
            One of these days I will but I keep finding other stuffs to read and I won’t watch until I have read.

          • BadKitty904

            Call him “Mancub” and see how he responds.

    • DemmeVagenda

      I was just at a get together where the college kids were sorting their friends into which Hogwarts school (house?) they should go to.
      Sounds like a thing you kids are into.

  • For those who are interest, The Belko Experiment is hilarilous, insane, and excellent. It also picked up a distribution deal, so you should be able to see it

    • DainBramage

      Cool. Thanks for the heads up.

      • Is also looney tunes violent. Just an FYI

        • DainBramage

          Sounds perfect for me.

  • msanthropesmr

    I wonder if President Clinton will get sick all over the Japanese ambassador?

    • BadKitty904

      Only after she’s “choked on a pretzel”>

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Who among us hasn’t barfed on a Japanese diplomat?

      • msanthropesmr

        I’ve only barfed on the Chilean undersecretary of commerce.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Bootstraps! You start at the bottom and work your way up the pecking order.

        • BadKitty904

          It’s a start…

        • 9/11john

          They also serve who only stand and barf.

      • 9/11john

        Given the chance.

      • Jen B_VA

        I once taught a Japanese secret service man how to cuss in english.

        • I learn how to curse in other languages from movies

          • Jen B_VA

            I figure language studies should start with cuss words. Because they are going to cuss at you and you may as well know what they are right off.

          • Daisy

            I didn’t learn any cuss words in Spanish class, but learned what “puta” meant from my mother, who lived in L.A until she was nine.

          • BadKitty904

            Other than “Where’s the bathroom?”, it’s, by far, the most useful part of a foreign language one can learn.

        • BadKitty904

          Pin this. I want to hear the rest of this story sometime.

          • Jen B_VA

            I should have prefaced with :true story: cause…that is it really XD
            We were also both drunk, and the other Japanese secret service dude who brought him to visit us was wearing nothing but a tool belt.
            But otherwise, that is the whole story.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            No. that is very not the whole story. SPILL!!!

          • Jen B_VA

            DUDDEEEEe you want long form? (btw, just so you peeps know, Japanese secret service dudes are fucking RIPPED like whoa and you do not mind them running about in naught but a tool belt. Least, Hidatishi (sic? We called him Zero, by his insistance because we all pronounced his name “like shit”) was. omg.)

            Ok, long form, in short:
            Collage ran a CIA program on the campus: Or, rather, the CIA ran it, the collage had the room for it, whatevs. Point is, we got lots of foreign folks there to learn the tricks of the trade for that and other programs like Japanese and English, a french fellow who tried to sexxy all the women -no lie!- a few Australians, Irish bunch, a couple Germans and this Banglidashi fellow with melting eyes.
            No one would hang with them except the anthros because we were not racist fucks and language barriers were not an issue since all we did was get drunk and listen to blues or irish music anyway.
            One time Zero brought his buddy from Japan to visit. Never learned his actual name, Zero called him Rio and thought that was HILARIOUS though I do not know why. But Rio knew almost no english and once everyone was good and drunk he was looking all awks. So, I started a dialogue being the helpful hosty type that I am.
            We ended up sitting on the floor exchanging lessons in how to insult people in our prospective languages with the help of chalk board and hand gestures. Obscene ones. I taught him cock sucker and he taught me mataga uzuku (sic?) which he said means “my genitals are flaming” or I think that is what he said, again, mostly chalk board and gestures.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Am very disappoint. Simultaneously much hilarious. Many upfist!

          • Jen B_VA

            When I tell ya that is the whole story, it really is XD My stories always are just a tinge interesting, go absolutely no where, and have no sexxy time in them at all, because I never had sexxy time til I was 19 and boinked my now husband in the woods after everyone else passed out.

            Edit: Mild advice for anyone, take or leave. Whence boinking in the woods, bring a ground cover. Your skin, among other bits of you, will thank you, after.

          • BadKitty904

            Those of us in Florida, the Sandy State, concur. Also, mosquitoes/chiggers, too.

          • Jen B_VA

            Way up north almost to Canadia, I never really ran into chiggers. And then I moved to VA….
            Dude. They live in your skin. Why is this not against the law?

          • BadKitty904

            They’re the wild ancestors of GOP political commentators.

          • BadKitty904

            Kitty’s mind is blown…

          • Doug Langley

            Now that is one hell of a flower.

          • BadKitty904

            It’s a blossom of Ficus religiosa, also called the “bodhi tree”. You know the rest of the story…

          • Jen B_VA

            That is what you get for being all skeptical you skeptical cat you.
            I am not an interesting person myself: But I have met and interacted with many an interesting person XD

          • BadKitty904

            I’ll second that first part. It’s the Quiet Life for me.

          • doktorzoom

            Maybe he danced upon the sand. You know, just like that river flowing through a dusty land. It seems a reasonable hypothesis.

          • Uh, the ones who show up wearing nothing but a tool belt are usually the “secret service” strippers. Or so I’ve heard from others who know about these kinds of things.

          • BadKitty904

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Thank you for your service.

      • Suse

        I barfed after eating bad sushi. Does that count?

      • WhyFelicia

        I think it was Dave Barry who mentioned that it was the kind of frank diplomatic exchange that we’d like to see more of.

  • msanthropesmr

    This just in: Secretary Clinton chokes on a pretzel, is fine, makes her unqualified to be president.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    First the Lady Chablis passes away, and now Alexis Arquette. Bad week for the performers.

    http://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/celebrities/article/Reports-Alexis-Arquette-dies-while-listening-to-9215995.php

    PS – She was the sister of Rosanna and David Arquette, even though I always thought she was an honorary Arquette.

    • Suse

      She was.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I need to edit! I just Googled, and she was an actual Arquette.

        • BadKitty904

          I had no idea. I’d thought the Lady Chablis was born and raised in Savannah.

          • Suse

            Different person.

          • BadKitty904

            <– was being a smartass

            Sorry, Mom!

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Oops! I’ve confused you. The Lady Chablis died a few days ago, and she was from Savannah. Alexis Arquette just died today, and she was from California, and she was a real Arquette.

          • BadKitty904

            I dunno. “Chablis Arquette” would make a pretty cool drag name.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            My drag name is Dora Jar.

          • BadKitty904

            I’m sticking with “Dee Zastris”…

    • BadKitty904

      Was there some sort of connection?

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        She was actually their sibling. I thought Alexis Arquette was her drag name.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Her drag name was “Eva Destruction” which is pretty darned good!

          • Mine has always been “Talulah LaMour”. I have no idea why. I’ve never really needed a drag name, but we were dreaming up potential drag names during a late night (perhaps somewhat mentally altered) conversation in my youth and that was my choice.

            TRUE STORY! I was walking around a vintage shop in Dallas one day, just … looking at stuff, killing time (no, this story does not end with, “No, that’s ice cream!”) and the guy behind the sales counter suddenly asked me, “What size shoe do you wear?”

            I told him 8 1/2.

            He got this pained expression on his face and started shaking his head. “Such a shame,” he said, pulling out a pair of black sequined pumps approximately the size of banana boats. He stared at the shoes, then looked at me, resting his other hand delicately over his decolletage. “It’s so hard to find these in our size. . .”

            I’ve always wondered precisely what vibe I was sending out, just at that moment, which suggested to him, “THAT MAN NEEDS SEQUINED PUMPS IN A VERY LARGE SIZE!”

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            It’s a good choice!

            I’m wondering what you were doing that suggested to him that you needed sexy stilletos, also, too. Maybe it was when you tried that dress on?

          • But it was a MAN’S dress!

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Sure, that’s what they all say.

  • Jen B_VA

    I just realized something:
    The real reason wingnuts are so concerntrolled for Hillz’ health is because they are terrified the debates will show her bench pressing the orange-flavored pork rind.

    • She could do that with the bubons

    • BadKitty904

      They obviously can’t whup her on qualifications, career, background, ability, intelligence, etc. So all they have left to attack is either her health or ability to accessorize. .

      • Daisy

        Pretty much. They have nothing.

        • BadKitty904

          No. Thing.

      • Jen B_VA

        And Emails! And her husband’s indiscretions, lest we forget. After 30 years of hearing about it.

        • BadKitty904

          Versus a mentally unbalanced criminal and traitor. Uh-huh. OK. Got it…

          • Jen B_VA

            You’d think this one would be a no brainer….and yet……

        • phoenix00

          and Huma Abedin and Huma Abedin’s husband and Monica Lewinsky and John Kerry and George Stephanopoulos and

    • Suse

      I think he’ll find a way to get out of it.

      • BadKitty904

        Sure he will. And same way as always – he’ll lie.

        • Jen B_VA

          And the wingnuts will claim it is her trying to get out, right? And the press will find some thing somewhere where a dem said no to a debate and be all welp, both sides do it

        • WhyFelicia

          And then claim that he won.

          • BadKitty904

            And the LIEbrul media will repeat it…IF it raises their ratings.

          • WhyFelicia

            Don Lemon: Donald Trump says that by skipping the debate tonight and instead having sex with Vladimir Putin in public, he really has shown the nation what true conservative values are, and had, in fact, won the election BEFORE the election. What do you think, Trump Spokesperson?

            Trump Spokesperson: Absolutely, Don. Seeing Trump and Putin take turns buggering each other for hours while Clinton stood on an empty stage really convinced me that we
            Don’t even need to hold Presidential elections anymore.

            Don: Hillary Spokesperson, let’s talk about these emails….

          • BadKitty904

            Any average high-school newspaper staff does a better job at actual journalism that the current talking heads…

  • Suse

    Well, kids, it’s been fun hanging out here today. Time for dinner and early bedtime. See you tomorrow. Can’t wait to see what fresh hell the Trumpanzees will unleash.

  • Spotts1701

    Ugh, I’ve felt queasy all week. Think I picked up a mild bug. Hoping more sleep will shake it off.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Be careful. It could be pneumonia.

      • And that would disqualify you from running for the presidency!

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Oh, you obviously don’t know me!

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I felt weird and queasy all day today. I was working out in the hot sun, and that didn’t help.

      • Spotts1701

        Yeah, I think my mistake was going right back to work less than 8 hours after getting back into town. I didn’t give my body time to recover, and it’s not happy about that.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          I woke up tired and achey today, but went to work for part of the day even though I felt like crap.

      • BadKitty904

        It’s called “sun poisoning” here in Florida. A cool shower, plenty of (cool, but not cold) liquids, and aspirin usually works.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          I felt bad before I even went outside though. I woke up full of aches. I’m hoping a good night’s sleep will help.

    • 9/11john

      Rest and grow strong.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Maybe Huma can make you some nice chicken soup?

    • BadKitty904

      Rest and liquids (including rum, per my Granny) for the win!

  • Callyson

    Came back to share this. Fuck the wingnuts who are trying to make pneumonia-gate a thing…

    https://twitter.com/jeneps/status/775103561273344000

    • What do they want her to do? Call in sick. Is that what their candidate will do? “Oh, nuclear threat from Korea? Call Putin and have him deal with it. I’ve got the sniffles and I’m taking a sick day.”

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        That’s what any good civil service employee would do…

    • BadKitty904

      Versus Trump who…Tweeted.

  • Daisy

    I’m going back to Spanish classes next semester. I’ve only been away from home for three weeks and I already miss the sound of it being spoken. So little of the student body here speaks it. (Neither do I, for that matter)

    • Callyson

      I’m thinking of scheduling a couple of sessions with a Spanish tutor, so I can do GOTV calls in Spanish. How do you say “FFS, this election is the most important ever” in Spanish?

      • Si se puede?

        • Daisy

          We’ll go with that. There’s a reason, that after three years of Spanish, I’m starting off in Spanish II next semester.

          • I watched a Spanish language doc first thing this morning.

          • pstockholm

            Have a look at Yabla. Fairly nominal monthly fee, I found it very useful.

      • Jen B_VA

        Donde esta el bano!
        Two years of Spanish *proud*

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        Chinga la chingadera

      • Yo quiero Taco Bell.

    • BadKitty904
      • Daisy

        Awww, they’re so cute!

        • BadKitty904

          I thought it was pretty adorable, myownself. They’re obviously so proud…

    • TJ Barke

      Spanish is a good idea in Cali.

      • Daisy

        It is. I wish I had started earlier, but they didn’t offer it before high school, and I tried to take too many things freshman year.

        • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

          Best to learn a language while young. No tutors in the ol’ Bako?

          • Daisy

            None my family could afford.

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            Should’ve wandered into one of the local cantinas and schmoozed a bit.

  • Panika MCD

    Houston Chronicle endorsement is in FOR HRC.

    they’ve backed Dems down ballot regularly, but over the past 85 years, they’ve only endorsed Dems for president on 2 occasions: in 2008 for Obama (which they recinded and endorsed Romney in 2012) and for LBJ because he was the home state boy.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    ‘nite wonkeroos. speedy recovery to our woman, and be well y’all.

    • Jen B_VA

      G’night, Jeff! Hopefully we can make December an actual thing ^.^

  • Pinkham’s Law
    • BadKitty904

      Yaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssss…

  • btwbfdimho

    Just saw the video of Hillary on the Nyt and is really bad…

    • Jen B_VA

      Is she dying, or is she plotting the muslim lesbian agenda and taking over the world WHILE dying?

      • btwbfdimho

        No, seriously, the basket of deplorables controlling every branch of the federal gov is freaking scary. In my case: I stopped drinking four years ago, should I start drinking again?
        Goodnight zoom, goodnight room, goodnight north Korean baskets jumping over the real estate of the Reverend Moon.

        • Jen B_VA

          Hell no. Don’t let them win, BTW.

    • ltmcdies

      and I think she probably felt pretty bad too..what with the pneumonia and heat and all.
      i had one of my coworkers smash her finger as she was shutting a drawer…she was really hurt plus she’d been moving and hadn’t eaten yet that day.
      Guess what happened…down like a sack of hammers. I have never seen anyone so pale, we actually thought she’d stopped breathing for a second.
      My poor co worker came around with a sea of faces above her head.

      we sent her home but she back the next day..feeling fine..if a tad embarrassed

      Through this whole thing I’ve only seen one online reporter tweet…feel better soon Hillary. it’ just good manners and common sense

  • Hey, you guys!

    I know we’re all really disappointed in the lack of Shit fer Brains this week, but feast your eyes upon this beauty what assaulted my person without having been asked! Straight from the ass of a Dodge at the local car park comes a trove of delightful derp!

    https://dl2.pushbulletusercontent.com/lTL8va6aHe10scSYqJYx2vib9R5onVMy/IMG_20160911_151139.jpg

    Where to begin with this amazing example of modern political discourse? Is it how the word “Crooked” has been hand-written beside the “Hillary”s, just to make sure we didn’t think the stickers were referring to that guy who climbed mountains? The bald eagle crying in front of an American flag? Rosie the Riveter’s iconic pose being made into a very rude gesture because Hillary is a socialist hag? The fact that Berniebros should be thrilled that she is a socialist hag because they thought she wasn’t a socialist? (They probably already knew about the “hag” part, though.)

    No, I think the crown jewel of this monument of thinky pieces is the strip of blue painter’s tape which compares Hillary to Patti LuPone! …At least I think that’s the point. I’m not sure.

    Truly, I was SO going to vote for Hillary, until I saw this most patriotic of displays! And, lo! I have seen the light!

    • Jen B_VA

      What’s he got against Evita? I thought it was a delightful musical

      • Maybe he’s thinking of the Madonna version, which, let’s face it, was not all it could be?

        • Jen B_VA

          I thought she did a very nice job for a pop star. She nailed the part, though for a strange reason her usually belting voice tended to falter at the oddest spots.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Blame it on post.

          • I do think she was a bit unfairly maligned for the role. Actually, with the example of that really unfortunate Swept Away remake, I’ve honestly liked Madonna’s movies. YES, even that one.

            But, but, but, Patti LuPone! That is one of those roles that is so tied to the person who originally played it. I mean, would Lawrence of Arabia be the same if Channing Tatum were in the remake? NO! Would it be sexier? PROBABLY. But not the same. That’s my point.

          • Jen B_VA

            This is true. Sometimes we get attached to how actors play a part, more than to the part for its own sake methinks.

          • I mean, seriously. Kenneth Branagh as Hamlet? Everybody knows Richard Burbage OWNED that role!

        • Pinkham’s Law
    • Catstro

      I may be a socialist hag, but I just consulted with my vagina (in a non-sexy way, sometimes it’s all business), who assures me that I’m very much a real woman.

      The blue tape is the best fwiw

      • Jen B_VA

        I hope when he rips it off his truck, it takes a layer of paint.
        Because….I am mean.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Nobody said they have to make sense.

      • Jen B_VA

        Hug a flower…have you smelled your children today?

        • Pinkham’s Law

          My children all have four legs . . .and have a tendency to smell like wet dog. When they get wet, anyway.

          • Jen B_VA

            giggle it was a George Carlin bit. Something about bumper stickers fading and running all together.
            In your case it would be Dogs Rage Against the biscuit or something ^.^

          • BosGrl

            Honestly, he left us too soon. We NEED George Carlin now!

          • Jen B_VA

            I think if he were around now his head would have asploded. For reals. He was a tinge intense, in a good way.

        • BadKitty904

          “But, Ossifer, it was drunk and I was dark.”

    • Daisy

      Minus 10 points for use of excessive bumper stickers. One would have conveyed both the point and the derp sufficiently.

      • Catstro

        Why use one when 2 dozen will do? To be fair, this is a documented case of “both sides do it”. Liberals are also guilty of excessive bumper sticker use.

        • Daisy

          My mom hates bumper sticker, and not just because of where we live, either, so I tend to think they’re a bit tacky in the first place.

          • Jen B_VA

            On my old car, I had precisely one bumper sticker. A big ole UAW one on the side that my dad had placed there, because that is whom I bought my old car from.
            I work for folks who do not look kindly on partisan anything, which is one of the reasons why when the snake plates roll through the gates I giggle so very hard.

          • pstockholm

            Now I’m getting bumper sticker envy.
            I have “My Toyota is fantastic” on my window. Does that count?

          • Catstro

            I have a tasteful window decal with my alma mater’s name because I went to a small school and I get excited when I see other alums (so I assume they get excited when they see other alums, too). But it’s wearing off and I will probably not replace it. My town has a lot of cars covered in them (including the obligatory COEXIST, I think you are legally obligated to put that on your car before you can put on the others).

          • BosGrl

            I have just one that says “be kinder than necessary”. Which shows I’m just a left wing bleeding heart. I’m surprised nobody has thrown a brick through my window.

          • BadKitty904

            That actually sounds very Franciscan. Good on you!

          • BadKitty904

            I have a sticker of a small Mosquito Lagoon sticker in the bottom lower-left corner of my lil’ truck’s (aka, “Bessie”) back-window, because I love to fish, and a small Esoteric Order of Dagon* sticker in the bottom lower-right corner, because I love H. P. Lovecraft and love to fuck with ‘Thumpers. But anything else is “nobody’s damned bidness,” as my Daddy would say.

            * http://store.cthulhulives.org/collections/all/products/esoteric-order-of-dagon-sticker

      • BadKitty904

        The more they use, the easier they are to identify in public.

      • TJ Barke

        • WomanInAMood

          I want this one.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I think it’d look better on a t shirt…

    • Master Contrail Program

      It’s like he put his Facebook page on his tailgate! I wonder where the bullshit “this is my intellectual property” screed is?

      • Needs moar chemtrails.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Needz an LED that rotates “Trending Topics” from a conservative point of view.

          FUCK YOU LIEBRULZ! 1!!1!!

      • Daisy

        My roommate, “human reincarnation of sunflower”, likes that description. (I showed her the pic of the truck.)

        • Pinkham’s Law

          “human reincarnation of sunflower.” I’m not entirely sure I’m comfortable with that. R U OK? R U sure?

          • Daisy

            I stole that from a post about Anthony Ramos, and it kinda suits her well. She’s lovely.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            OK then. Just know, Wonkette HAS your BACK! Yo. Or something.

          • BadKitty904

            (Plus Anthony Ramos is annoyingly adorable.)

          • WomanInAMood

            That’s so nice! I’m very glad that you have a good roommate. It makes a world of difference.

    • BosGrl

      Somebody has severe mommy issues.

    • TJ Barke

      Kinda glad your pic won’t load for me…

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Trump will attack Iran over rude gestures their Navy seaman make!

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/09/trump-says-hell-attack-iran-over-rude-gestures.html

    Somebody please wake me up when this nightmare is over.

    • Jen B_VA

      2 month nap? You lazy lib

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        What can I say? I’m a taker.

    • BadKitty904

      I wonder if he realizes he has to work with Congress to actually…you know…DO any of this bullshit he keeps saying he’s going to do.

      • Catstro

        I don’t think he comprehends that there’s a whole other world where people don’t just snap to it and do whatever he says because he’s the boss. So, no.

        • BadKitty904

          I.e., “He’s crazy.”

      • Jen B_VA

        lolz, fascist do not work with Congress. Silly badkitty.

        • BadKitty904

          Well, if the Reichstag burns again, then…

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Executive Orders, Babby. Executive Orders. All you need to know.

        • BadKitty904

          So, America is now a monarchy? What was all that fuss in 1776 in aid of, then?

          • They just didn’t like the red uniforms?

          • TJ Barke

            To seize the Ohio valley, preserve slavery, and disregard treaties with the indians, mostly.

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        He’s da CEO of America and has the final say.

        • BadKitty904

          We’re the shareholders. WE have the final say.

          • TJ Barke

            HAHAHAHAHA. We’re not shareholders. We’re all cubicle drones and interns at best.

          • cousin itt

            Indeed. It has always been thus.

          • BadKitty904

            Let’s all stop paying taxes and see what happens.

          • TJ Barke

            Worse deficit spending probably, and still on things we don’t need and do nothing to improve the quality of our lives.
            Like barely functional fighter craft.

    • cousin itt

      The more seamen with which we can douse the Iranian threat, the happier both sides will be.

      • Master Contrail Program

        With something from down below that’s long, rounded, cylindrical, and full of seamen?

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        Is that like a political money shot?

        • cousin itt

          More like international diplomacy.

        • phoenix00

          ISWYDT

          (bow chicka-bow wow)

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      Moar ships? We just paid $22Bn for three destroyers.

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Pinkham’s Law
    • “BREAKING: Streisand Threatens Trump With Death, Is Not As Good A Poet As Mike Huckabee”

    • BadKitty904

      Don’t bother…they’re here.

  • limberrat

    Hey Everyone! Back from San Diego celebrating my eldest’s 4th b-day. What’d I miss? (Besides Hillary apparently dying.)

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Yeah, mostly Hitlliary dying and being resurrected due to the influence of the Demonicals.Pretty much covers it.

    • BadKitty904

      Happiest o’ birthdays to ur lil’ tyke!

      • limberrat

        Thanks! Four days at the Wild Animal Park, Zoo, and Seaworld. She had a blast.

        • BadKitty904

          The lil’ limbermoppet is partial to animals, is she?

          • limberrat

            Perhaps…. didn’t hurt that Costco had a 3 for 1 ticket for those 3 places either.

          • BadKitty904

            I’m sure she’d be equally delighted to go anywhere with Daddy. :0)

  • Callyson

    We finally get a troll, and it isn’t even amusing enough to fuck with. YAWN.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      WHERE?

      • Callyson

        Look for username Marco’s carrito de la tacos.

        • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

          Ima no troll! Blame my ADD maybe…

          • Pinkham’s Law

            We will decide that. Still investigating.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Hmmm. Not where this was supposed to show up.

          • BadKitty904

            4,000+ comments? He’s/She’s either legit or a VERY dedicated troll.

          • TJ Barke

            That’s Marcus Erectus guys. They’ve been around forever…

          • Callyson

            If I’m mistaken, my apologies. I might be grumpy on account of pneumonia-gate becoming a thing!

          • Callyson

            I’ve been yelling this all fucking day :-(

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Then, post SOMEthing non trollish. You don’t have to be all, “Hillary is the second coming,” or anything. Just, something that isn’t “TRUMP is the second coming.” At that point, we can talk.

          • Markuserektus

            I guess my snark is a little dull today. I don’t mention Hillz as much because I’m not putting her down. If it’s cool I voted for her in the primary here in California not as a lesser of two evils, but because I support her inclusive platform. Again I apologize for my lack of comport.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            “my snark is a little dull today.” Happens to us all. Sorry if we ganged up on you due to a misunderstanding.

        • cousin itt

          That is not the troll we are looking for?

        • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

          I’m sorry I’m not amusing :-(

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Not sure if troll or just . . . interesting.

      • Callyson

        As I just said to limberrat:

        Yeah, perhaps. Maybe I’m not into “interesting” when the polls tighten.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Be real. Wonkette is not going to affect the polls. SORRY for speaking truth, but . . . it’s truth.

          • pstockholm

            Maybe won’t affect the polls, but Wonkette might hold the key to the future of civilization. Only half snark.

          • If not the key, then definitely the corkscrew.

    • limberrat

      I think he is just…interesting.

      • Callyson

        Yeah, perhaps. Maybe I’m not into “interesting” when the polls tighten.

        • limberrat

          Too tired to care rite now, been walking 4 continuous days and birthday girl went from 3 to teen in a period of a day. Hoping she was just done from the trip and will be better in a couple days.

    • Master Contrail Program

      What sayest thou, former Superb Owl highlight?

  • Callyson
    • BadKitty904

      Nice. VERY nice.

    • SeeTrain65
      • TJ Barke

        I can totally hear his voice when I read that to myself.

    • I would be very happy if this were the narrative – you know, instead of the “frail, sick Hillary” thing that Trump&Co. will be trying to sell.

      She is badass. I’ve had pneumonia a few times, and getting out of bed to shower is a challenge. I have no idea how you manage to look professional and make speeches and give interviews and fight off a supervillain and such while having pneumonia.

  • Callyson

    Hee hee hee:

    The Tampa Bay Times is urging the federal government to investigate potential connections between Donald Trump’s charity and Florida state Attorney General Pam Bondi.

    “Since Florida prosecutors will not touch this mess, the Justice Department is the only option,” the newspaper’s editorial board wrote on Thursday.

    “The appearance of something more than a coincidence is too serious and the unresolved questions are too numerous to accept blanket denials by Bondi and Trump without more digging and an independent review,” the board said.

    I doubt this will actually happen, sadly, but it’s about fucking time some focus was paid to the TehRump Foundation FFS.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Boy howdy, off to the local paper’s comment section!

      Surely the debates therein will be lively, even-tempered, and full of sound logic.

      Bwahahahaha.

      • WomanInAMood

        You do have your haz-mat gear in full working order, right?

        • Jonny On Maui

          Good evening WomanInAMood. How are you this evening?

          • WomanInAMood

            Very well indeed. And you?

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’m okay. First snorkeling trip tomorrow in the early am. I’m looking forward to that.

          • WomanInAMood

            That sounds amazing! And the chances of you running into insane golfers will be low. At least I hope so.

          • Jonny On Maui

            LOL! No, no golfers out there, that’s for sure!

          • WomanInAMood

            Are you going with a group? And will this be in fairly shallow water? Whatever the details, it sounds like much more fun than jungle taming.

          • Jonny On Maui

            It’s just me and a neighbor. I scouted the beach today, it’s the kiddie pool of snorkel spots as I have snorkeled before when Moses was a lad.

            Rain is forecast but if you’re getting wet anyway…

          • WomanInAMood

            I would think a rainy day would be the best time. Skin dries, after all.

            And that Moses kid….Sheesh! Prank phone calls – yeah my refrigerator is running, bulrushes left on my porch, and he was always on my damn lawn.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’m actually trying to lose the pasty white flesh coating. I’ve got a horrible case of tractor tan.

            I wonder whatever happened to that kid, bet it didn’t end well…

          • WomanInAMood

            I’m assuming that it’s the pasty white you’re trying to lose, rather than the flesh. Actually, I may be losing some of the pastiness myself. I’m leaving on a road trip Tuesday morning. To Texas. With my mom. This is going to be great. Of course, I may have lost my damn mind by the end.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Ehh, I’ve built up antibodies to the local boobphonic plague.

          • WomanInAMood

            Iocaine powder has no effect on me.

    • BadKitty904

      I can dream, can’t I?

  • Callyson
  • Callyson

    https://twitter.com/AFP/status/775082195211939841

    Speaking as someone who got heat exhaustion after an ill-advised long run on a hot day, I can tell you that dehydration is nothing to fuck with. Hillary is stronger than her RWNJ critics, that’s for damn sure…

    • limberrat

      So a non-story was a… non-story? Have had heat exhaustion while wearing full on wool at a reenactment. I agree, you don’t fuck with heat exhaustion, especially when you are sick!

  • Catstro

    Heading to bed. Had a weird sleepwalking incident last night, the first I’ve had since breaking up with Ambien Walrus a few years back. I made a “marinade” that was just some milk that I measured out and poured in a gallon ziplock and stuck in the fridge. I vaguely remember doing it, and I’m a little freaked out that it will happen again even though it probably won’t. I think the cats woke me up for food at the wrong time in my sleep cycle. Anyway, sweet dreams and may we wake up to find out that Hillary’s pneumonia is a non-issue (I realize this may involve a months long coma).

    • TJ Barke

      Ambien Walrus is a bad influence.

      • Catstro

        Hey, Catstro, email allllllll your ex boyfriends. Then book a vacation, but not the way normal people do it in the aughts, call the booking desks at Delta and the hotel directly. Doooooooo it.

        (The vacation was the first time I knew I was doing crazy stuff in my sleep and the last time I took Ambien. Went on the vacation anyway, we’d been talking about taking one).

    • Ugh. Had something similar happen on Lyrica. Except, I drove to the grocery store, bought tons of junk food and ate all of it. In my sleep. I woke up the next day, and the house was covered in discarded wrappers and empty bags of chips. Things like Twinkies and Cheetos, the kind of stuff I would never touch when conscious. I have no idea why, but apparently Lyrica affected my munchies center, or something.

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, snickerdoodles, time for all righteous kitties to curl up and go to sleep. Y’all have sweet dreams, you hear?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IUIYwrMyiQ

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night BadKitty.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      G’night kitty!

    • WomanInAMood

      Pleasant dreams, BadKitty.

    • I want snickerdoodles