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You could've STOPPED THE PLANES or something, but you wept. Thanks a lot.

Every year on this rotten day, we repeat this beloved 9/11 feature, sort of like how A Charlie Brown Christmas plays on the teevee every December. We thought the terrible art herein had been lost forever in the Great Server Switch of a couple years back, but then we remembered to check the Wayback Machine. Original article by Ken Layne, with additional images and curatorial notes for the 2016 edition added by Yr Dok Zoom.

On this solemn day seven eight nine… fifteen years ago, nearly 3,000 people were horribly killed so that Rudy Giuliani could earn a hundred million dollars and run for president of 9/11, and the most corrupt administration in American History could wage endless war around the world and many working-class people could affix “United We Stand” bumper stickers to their SUVs, so they could drive around with pride while eating hamburgers off their laps and listening to talk radio wingnuts. Also, “September the Eleventh” has inspired the most insipid, maudlin kitsch in the history of an already very kitschy nation. Let’s look back in horror.

Uhhhhh ....

If you thought passenger jets could be terrifying weapons, you’ll be terrified by the giant winged baby monster from Hell.

How did such a truly awful, gut-wrenching event inspire such stupid crap? It’s just part of our modern, idiotic culture — the same mouth-breathing instinct that compels people to pile a bunch of wet stinking stuffed animals at the site of a fatal car crash, or order a hundred Thug Life “memorial T-shirts” to remember some shithead gangsta teen who got himself shot, or make a GeoCities memorial site for Princess Diana (with animated GIFs and MIDI music of “Candle In The Wind”).

Or, if you’re an entrepreneur, maybe you just manufacture some lighters in China with bas-relief images of the burning WTC towers and Osama bin Laden’s face, and when you open it, the thing will play “Für Elise” and little LEDs will blink in the “fire.”

Every child needs one of these ...
Every child needs one of these …

But nothing says “We sort of had it coming” like the endless variations of the Weeping Eagle.

Oh shit a giant eagle has eaten one of the WTC towers...
Oh shit a giant eagle has eaten one of the WTC towers…
One tear for each tower. Or for each ill-advised land war in Asia
One tear for each tower. Or for each ill-advised land war in Asia
This eagle metacries metatears
This eagle meta-cries meta-tears
It's the bloody tears that really make this one work
It’s the bloody tears that really make this one work
Screw it, let's just throw everything into this gif
Screw it, let’s just throw everything into this gif

This next one is truly emblematic of the whole pathetic trend: The fucking flag is not only somehow tattooed on the eagle’s feathers, but it’s also backwards. Show some respect, crying eagle.

NO UR DOING IT WRONG
NO UR DOING IT WRONG

While cynics will say 9/11 has been used primarily to justify a trillion-dollar occupation and destruction of a country that had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, optimists will point out that 9/11 could also get you a “free” 99-cent sack of grease fries down at the Burger King, in Hilltop Plaza:

More like FREEDOM fries
More like FREEDOM fries

You might think there’s something ghoulish about this, which apparently is a real thing: Fire departments sponsoring a fundraiser for the “National Fallen Firefighters Foundation” with a 9/11 stair climb:

Dropping flaming debris on the participants would definitely be in poor taste
Dropping debris on the participants would definitely be in poor taste
343 firefighters X 110 stories = Patriotism and a good workout
343 firefighters X 110 stories = Patriotism and a good workout

These things are held all over the place, apparently. Are we alone in thinking it’s a bizarre “tribute”? Maybe WE’RE the weird ones? After all, at least they didn’t call it a “fun run.”

This touching tweet from Fleshlight — yes, the sex toy — remains one of the greatest examples of excellence in 9/11 branding, and a perfect way to remember the “fallen heroes.”

fleshlight tweet

And if the endless pictures of the Smoke Devil accompanied by strange thoughts about the Demons Among Us weren’t enough, somebody decided to bring attention to yet another mysterious animal shape in the smoke:

The fuck is that supposed to be?
The fuck is that supposed to be?

Uhhhh … Is it a chicken drumstick? Maybe the head of that little dude in “Gremlins”? A giant demonic Pepperidge Farms “Goldfish” cracker of death? Maybe a mooninite?

Hi, Jesus!
Hi, Jesus!

Optimists saw Jesus as the Great Destroyer.

Headless Jesus welcomes you to Heaven, ghost eagle!
Headless Jesus welcomes you to Heaven, ghost eagle!

Others explained that He and a giant eagle ushered the souls of the dead into the next world. All except the hijackers, of course.

Let’s move on:

This commemorative image is all the more valuable because it is one of Ziggy's few appearances wearing pants
This commemorative image is all the more valuable because it is one of Ziggy’s few appearances wearing pants

This one was submitted by a reader of the 2009 edition. It truly captures the can-do attitude of New Yorkers, as symbolized by perennial loser Ziggy.

Archivist's note: It's possible these are souvenirs that predate 9/11. But probably not
Archivist’s note: It’s possible these are souvenirs that predate 9/11. But probably not

The Twin Towers? Or a strangely elongated TARDIS? Who can say?

Excuse me, but shouldn't that be Spider-Man? Batman lives in Gotham City. Does no one care about accuracy?
Excuse me, but shouldn’t that be Spider-Man? Batman lives in Gotham City. Does no one care about accuracy?

Another reader find, from a comics blog that pronounced it “probably one of THE MOST famous Batman Tattoo photos…ever!”

Everything about this is awesome
Everything about this is awesome

Still another submission from the comments (which even in 2009 we did not allow). Jesus’s head is 150 percent larger than Santa’s, and yet He has such tiny hands, like our Lord and Saviour Donald Trump. Our new favorite 9/11 commemoration. It’s like the Ed Wood of 9/11 art.

What is this I can't even
What is this I can’t even

A final reader submission, the pregnant furry tribute of 2003. So many questions: Is this a living tiger/eagle hybrid mourning its mate (and still gestating after two years?), or is this a fursuit wearer who perished on 9/11 and has returned in pregnant angelic form to look at her own grave while being comforted by Spike from Cowboy Bebop?

Let The Eagle SOAR
Let The Eagle SOAR

Also, a twitter search for “Happy 9/11” is guaranteed to make you … uncomfortable.

We won't easily forget this one, however hard we try
We won’t easily forget this one, however hard we try

Okay, WTF? Is this what 9/11 is like in Second Life?

Uhhhhhhh....
Uhhhhhhh …

Burning? Is that really the word you want to use here?

America is back, babies! Or it was back, until a colored became president.

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  • bookish
    • PubOption

      One big difference, Mother Teresa took a vow of poverty.

      • ManchuCandidate

        Does a vow of Chapter 7 count?

      • cleos_mom

        Which she took very seriously — for other people.

    • nightmoth

      Jon Voight did it. No wonder Angelina Jolie doesn’t have anything to do with her own father.

    • ltmcdies

      well “Mother” Theresa is a fraud too. I say this as a small c catholic.

      • nightmoth

        I never really got how she could pick starving abandoned babies out of the gutters in India and then make a tv ad that was anti-birth control.

        • Astraea

          When suffering is godly, why stop it from happening?

        • ltmcdies

          even worst was he old fashioned catholic notion that human suffering was what you did as a gift to god.
          the late Christopher Hitchens called her for what she was..

      • Jen B_VA

        Fraud is a bit strong. Tried to help in the dictates of her church to the best of her ability and fell short in some key leftist ways (though she herself was not a leftist), but fraud is a bit strong.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I’d go with fraud. She brought in millions in donations for her hospitals but didn’t spend it on medical supplies because she believed that suffering was how we earned our reward in the next world.

          How many people would have donated to her charities if they knew that enough money to build and stock first-world hospitals wasn’t used for that because she only cared about their souls.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      His commitment to and care for the poor and forgotten is exactly like Mother Teresa. I hope he is sainted soon.

  • ManchuCandidate

    US Amercia in the middle of a flag waving hell
    Lee Greenwood on the radio up high
    Fat gunnuts screamin’ with a AR-15 on their shoulders
    The tower is collapsin’ like chemtrails in the sky

    The dude could paint, knew how to US flag ev’rything
    Always wanting more, he’d leave you longing for
    Black velvet and that Eagle US Tear
    Black velvet with that awful patriotic style

    *based on Alannah Myles awful earworm Black Velvet

  • mancityfooty .

    JFC

  • Basket of Vagendas

    I don’t know if Jesus or Batman showed up in person, but (gay New Yorker) FDNY Chaplain Fr Mychal Judge did.

    RIP

    • ltmcdies

      I just saw an interview about him. he sounds like he was a wonderful man..

      man I hate this day. And I’m Canadian. I can’t imagine how you guys feel

    • TJ Barke

      “Gays can’t be heroes!” -The deplorables.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “That’s not a tattoo on my feathers, it’s nail polish. Those little Vietnamese ladies are miracle-workers.”
    — Baldy, the Backwards-Flagged 9/11 Eagle

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Who was that masked eagle? He left me a silver bullet.”

      • Blank Ron

        See if you can exchange it for a decent craft beer.

  • mancityfooty .

    I do really want that jesus and santa picture.
    I’ll give you $2.13

  • memzilla
    • beatbort

      Please tell me this is from the Onion…Pleeeeeeze

    • Tallmutha

      That’s not how you mount a ridiculously tasteless 9/11-themed promotion–This is how you mount a ridiculously tasteless 9/11-themed promotion:

      https://youtu.be/2ZmM-2gj5Gc

      • HobbesEvilTwin

        I was “hoping” this would show up here.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Mrs. Jeffo and I were within a mile as the crow flies of Dulles airport on 9/11. The silence was eerie…Across the street, thousands of AOL employees left HQ and went home.

    • Jen B_VA

      Our boss made us work until end of the day. We had no radio, nothing to tell us what was happening, in the middle of no wheres.
      Had no clue until 430 when we got back to the hotel.
      Fucknut could have at least drug us to a place where there was cell reception, for the few of us back then who had phones

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Our boss let people go home, if they wanted to. One co-worker had a son working at the Pentagon, and fortunately he was not hurt, or wasn’t there at the time, I don’t remember. Since AOL let everyone out, it was traffic jam city. So we sat on picnic tables outside in the silence. Normally we has planes flying in every few minutes over our building.

        • Jen B_VA

          That is one thing I remember. Our project area was under a flight path and we had been hearing them previously, and then suddenly there were no planes.
          Then some military craft (think it was army) went BOOM overhead the next day and we all cringed at the sudden noise of a plane. Surreal.

        • mtn_philosoph

          Was sent home around 11 a.m. when Gov. Pataki ordered all offices of the NY State government closed. (I worked upstate.) Stopped in church on the way, and I’m not even religious. There were no TVs at work, so I didn’t see the actual videos of what happened until I got home. Lots of people in my relatives’ Long Island neighborhoods never came home.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        We received an email mid-day telling us, basically, to get off the internet and get back to work or else the terrorists would’ve won. Then we got an email saying we could go home if were too freaked out to work, but we’d have to take personal leave. So that was nice.

        • Jen B_VA

          Nothing says America like the corperate person reminding us that we have no souls if we work for them, eh?
          I didn’t want to go back to the hotel and stop working myself. I just wanted to know what was going on, maybe touch with the fam back east. I did not think that too much to ask.

    • Lizzietish81

      I was in school, at UMass Boston, which is very close to Logan, so we were evacuated. That evening I went to work. Dead quiet.

      Until I got the lady who was convinced that Colin Powell was in danger, which quickly turned into her asking us to warn the Queen that people were escaping Britain via the Chunnel to see a Russian doctor about a smallpox vaccine.

      • Jen B_VA

        that is one hell of a conspiracy theory

    • Celtic_Gnome

      We eventually got to go home. Just had to wait for the Masters of the Universe to get the okay from the head honcho.

  • Lizzietish81
    • Basket of Vagendas

      Holy cow, are those impact sites?

      • mancityfooty .

        how did I miss that!!11!11

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        or peppercorns?

        • Basket of Vagendas

          I was actually thinking themed toothpick holders, but let’s go with your slightly less awful guess.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I wouldn’t be surprised if they removed it because someone from Alaska or Hawaii complained about being left out.

    • cleos_mom

      Add crackers and some dipping substances and you’ve got a nifty Independence Day snack tray.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Yeah. If it wasn’t for the branding, there’d be nothing wrong with it.

    • Rick Hill

      They were preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Really, this applies to almost any marketing scheme you can imagine. As well as to certain types of plastic surgery, tattoos, hairstyles, and t-shirts.

        • HogeyeGrex

          You forgot music production.

    • doktorzoom

      Hideous and saved for later use.

      • Blank Ron

        Uh, oh…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “And yet none of these has made it into the Metropolitan Museum, Guggenheim, or MOMA. I guess us real americans still have to teach those Big City folks how to grieve.”
    — A Real American Artist

    • mancityfooty .

      “Guggen what?”
      –a real American

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      RIP Bob Ross.

    • Rick Hill

      There ya go. Along with conservapedia, conservative bible we also need conservative museum, though we need to give them help with a byline because Home of the Truly Awful of the Human Experience probly won’t be a big draw.

      • Jen B_VA

        How is a conservative bible NOT redundant?

        • mancityfooty .

          you have to leave out the whole “meek shall inherit” stuff

          • Jen B_VA

            Render unto You what is Yours

          • Señor Skwerl

            And what is yours is that which you covet, and that you “find” unattended. Especially amongst the poors who don’t pay their fair share.

          • Jen B_VA

            Wretched are the poor: If they worshipped correctly they would obviously be rich.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Remove all semblance of decency, or the request to behave so.

            Edit and leave the bit that says “As long as I say I love Jesus, all my sins will be forgiven, so anything I do is perfectly cool with God. Oh, and fuck you.”

        • Rick Hill

          They remove that liberal bias. Caring for the poor and weak. Humbleness, meekness.Hell, rewrite all those beatitudes, while you’re at it.
          Blessed are the meek for they will be our bitches and we will sheer them like the sheep they are.

        • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

          Vows of poverty, encouraging the faithful to succor the poor and afflicted and money is the root of all evil have no place in the conservative bible.

      • beatbort

        Oh I would DEFINITELY go if they named it that! I’d even pay admission and not ask for a senior discount.

    • Basket of Vagendas

      You’d be surprised (from the NY Historical Socierty)

      The heartbreaking thing was the room full of Have you seen… flyers.

      • Jen B_VA

        That which survives

      • nightmoth

        Those flyers—that destroyed me.

        • Basket of Vagendas

          I can kind of still see the places in Grand Central where they were.

    • PubOption

      Billy Bob, you don’t need some perfesser to explain what this art is about.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Marcia Blackburn on This Week says the following on Clinton’s “deplorables” comment: “Hillary Clinton insulted half the American public.”

    Umm…dipshit? Half the country is voting for Trump, and she referred to HALF his supporters, so at best, she was insulting ONE QUARTER of American voters. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, you just can’t keep from showing everyone that you’re a moron that can’t do math real good.

    • ltmcdies

      where do these morons get the idea half the country is definately voting Trump.
      do they not do math or understand how polling works

    • Jen B_VA

      They are going to push that “She insulted them ALL!!!” line and people will believe it because the press will oddly misremember the bit where she said the other half are afraid and angry and we need to help those people.
      Fucking morons buried the lead- she was attempting to tell us libtards to stop branding all of his supporters as POS.

    • HogeyeGrex

      The last couple of elections had about 130 million voters turn out. Not even half the total population. Today’s Pollster chart has Dumpf at about 40%. If he pulls that many, you’re talking 52M. Half of that, 26. Works out to ≅ 8% of the American public.

      If there are only 8% of us that really, really deserve a good insulting, I’d be shocked, pleased, and hopeful for our future.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Republicans are so desperate to make this “basket of deplorables” in to a thing. It just isn’t going to happen.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    So few baskets, so many deplorables…

    • Rick Hill

      Call trump’s people in China, get them on it.

    • HogeyeGrex
  • Rick Hill

    My own 9-11 fun day offering. Something written in the seventies and as relevant as it is timeless. Seems to go more to the heart of what’s behind all this madness

    Listening for the secret, searching for the sound
    But I could only hear the preacher and the baying of his hounds

    Willow sky, whoa, I walk and wonder why
    They say love your brother, but you will catch it when you try

    Roll you down the line boy, drop you for a loss
    Ride you out on a cold railroad and nail you to a cross

    November and more, as I wait for the score
    They’re telling me forgiveness is the key to every door

    And also, this:

  • Joshua Norton

    And yea I say unto you, they shall raise up the least among them to the highest post and he shall appear as a monkee and shall be called “W”.

    The sheep shall follow and the lies shall flow like water from the sea. They shall loudly proclaim his deceptions and follow him unto war with the wrong nation.

    And The Cheney will shoot some guy in the face also, too.

    – Lobotomy 9:11

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Mickey Dolenz? Or Davy Jones, coz he was they were the short ones.

  • cleos_mom

    IMO the worst one was the “HFS, Martha! ! !” reaction to two beams in the wreckage ACTUALLY FORMING THE SHAPE OF A CROSS.

    But that was genuinely impressive. After all, how many beams in a 90-plus story skyscraper meet to form right angles? It’s a miracle, I tells ya.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Any Stars of David? Nah, I didn’t think so.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Or Islamic crescents?

        • Basket of Vagendas

          Yeah, and did that ever turn into a shit show.

  • The Wanderer

    Yeesh, that’s some awful kitsch.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Eagle emblems don’t cry!”
    — The Habsburgs

    • Señor Skwerl

      Those mutant eagles did not have tear ducts of blood!

  • beatbort

    That Dallas “stair climb” tribute by the firefighters doesn’t really capture the essence of this day unless they are doing the stair climb in the Texas Book Depository.

    • mancityfooty .

      well, yeah
      it doesn’t take long to climb the grassy knoll

    • Basket of Vagendas

      The Tunnel to Tower folks do some good stuff (after Steven Sillers, a firefighter who died in the Towers after he ran through the tunnel from Brooklyn in full gear to get there). They do fundraising for first responders.

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    All right, all right, fuhgedaboudit don’t obsess over it so much.

  • tehbaddr

    Is that a weeping angel behind Jesus hugging that tiny Santa?

    • mancityfooty .

      I saw the angel of death
      maybe its just me

    • doktorzoom

      Don’t blink.

      • Joshua Norton

      • nightmoth

        Dang–you beat me to it.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      If it is, they’re already fucked. Wonder what year they’re going to…

  • Duke

    Hey, Libtards! Let’s find some art we like. At some point, the mocking isn’t nice. And we’re nice people.

  • The Wanderer
    • TJ Barke

      Classy as fuck.

    • doktorzoom

      oh lord. Saved for next year

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        What? No love for my “George Washington carrying a rocket launcher while riding an eagle that’s clutching an American flag?”

    • nightmoth

      That should be against some law.

      • Señor Skwerl

        All that is good and tasteful.

    • GoutMachine

      Hallelujah?

  • JoeChristmas

    A trip down memory Layne.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Among the things that kind of drives me crazy about 9/11 memoriography, which is a word I just made up, is that you come away from it with the impression that 9/11 is a thing that mainly happened to white people, and mainly happened to white men. That is not true, neither in the extended sense that it happened to us all, and we all are not white men, nor in the specific sense that the people who were on those planes and working in those buildings were not all white men. And yet somehow, there is a kind of white male “ownership” of the day and its significance that never really quite sits right with me.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      That’s Amurrikkkah, son.

      • Señor Skwerl

        The Statue of Liberty, with her sword held high!*

        *Props to Franz Kafka.

    • Jen B_VA

      I think the statistics indicate the victims were not mostly…anything though, right? Like it was a total mixture of religions, creeds, ethnic backgrounds and so on?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Yes – but if you look at the imagery around it, you would think it was mostly white men who were affected.

        • Jen B_VA

          I never thought of it that way. But you are correct.
          Not to mention it seems that the imagry mostly surrounds how bible belters might feel, which is odd, since the biggest effect was on a: a gigantic corp center and b: a gubmint center.
          Huh.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I’d be curious to know what the race and gender composition of the NYPD and the FDNY were in 2001. My impression is that they were whiter and more male than the city as a whole. If so, we can speculate as to why that should be, but there’s a whole complex intersection among white/male supremacy, a certain kind of masculinity/machismo, “public order,” and “patriotism,” that is triggered by 9/11 and is disconnected from the reality of New York City and other 9/11 sites. I should stress that I say all of that without intending any disparagement of the courage – and loss – of the first responders on 9/11.

          • Jen B_VA

            No I get you, and I believe you are right. Actually, I would be very surprised if the FDNY and NYPD were not still mostly white and male. Maybe that is the reason that most 911 imagry is focused on that? There’s not a lot of pictures of the other victims, at the time, so the photos themselves show mostly the responders?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I think that’s true – the first responders were there, after the event, and thus could be photographed in a way that many victims could not be. And there is something undeniably compelling about their sacrifice – they went in even as others were trying to escape. But if the NYPD and the FDNY were whiter and more male for reasons having to do with bias (and I suspect it is so), then the use of that imagery to reinforce a narrative of bravery and courage as key components of patriotism and to suggest that those values are best represented by (or really only exist in) white men becomes even more complex. I think. I’m sure I’ve over-thought it enough, so I’ll just end by saying that, of course, there are also abundant images of 9/11 that better reflect the diversity of the places most directly affected.

          • bobbert

            2013: 91% male, 76% white, 10% black, 12% hispanic.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      ThIs^^^. I cannot refudiate your memoriography. Just ranting to myself about how much I resent anyone-wingers in particular-claiming ownership of 9/11 grief.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Why do you hate America and the troops?

    • nightmoth

      Good point. Like the children’s song goes: the victims were red and yellow, black and white. Also, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, atheist, gay, straight, wealthy, the working poor, young, old: in other words–Americans!

    • data_ninja

      50 years from now, historians going to rediscover all of the crying eagle artwork and determine that a lesser known part of 9/11 dealt with endangered species and their allergies.

      • HobbesEvilTwin

        All the upfists!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The “free medium fries” one really spoke to me.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      That’s “free medium FREEDOM fries” you hippie!

  • nightmoth

    Those are all excruciating. The only way one could be made worse would be to include one of those big-eyed sad puppies from the 1970s.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Not having looked yet, I assume that means there’s at least one Moppet in the bunch…

  • ltmcdies

    today is a hard one but allow a hopeful sort of story,

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/gander-thanked-by-new-york-1.3755153

    I remember coming home from my first day at a new job in a new city (Calgary) Got on the elevator and there was a flight attendant. The uniform was the giveaway. Someone asked how she was doing and she just looked like she was going to cry. She said they’d been at the airport for hours It was only later we saw that Calgary Airport had been landing planes too.

    For me what I think of about 9/11 is walking into every patient room all day and seeing the Towers in flames and that flight attendant.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    OK, Wonk Control, after this crap, I think your Wonkazoyds deserve a, whatchacallit, Pickanick Hamper of Adorables, ness pah?

  • TeeRaak


    Watch Live: 9/11 Memorial Ceremony in New York City

    When will they name the names of the people who sneered at the outgoing Clinton administration officials who told them “bin Laden is your #1 security threat”?

    When will they name the name of the Vice-President, who upon entering office IMMEDIATELY shut down the weekly meetings on bin Laden?

    And will they name the names of the people who ordered a stand down so no fighter aircraft would intercept and prevent these aircraft from accomplishing their mission?

    So many missing names, CHENEY, CHENEY, CHENEY.
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/JhEzZPStlZZ9m/200w_d.gif

    • bookish
      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        What a bunch of fucking horseshit. Those people are scum.

        • Jen B_VA

          I can never make up my mind if 911 truthers, sandy hook truthers, or holocaust truthers are worse.
          Then I figure I am gonna stop calling them truthers cause they are nothing of the sort.

          • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

            Degrees of awfulness. Besides, there’s a lot of cross-contamination there. I’m sure you’d have a hard time finding a “truther” who isn’t a hard core believer in at least two of those.

          • Jen B_VA

            AOT, K!
            And probbaly that flouride is a mind control drug, vaccines cause autism, and somehow the Democrats, the single most dysfunctional political party in the history of forever, is taking over the world because reasons.

        • bookish
      • TeeRaak

        The idea that dozens, hundreds or thousands of people would “conspire” to do a “controlled demolition” of a commercial skyscraper for “insurance money” without a single person leaking what’s going on is 100% insane, stupid and ridiculous.

        The idea that a small number of people would INTENTIONALLY ignore a threat for profit, is not only believable, but is well-documented throughout history.

    • going4baroque

      Never forget:
      Cheney’s Halliburton Made $39.5 Billion on Iraq War

      • revenant

        let’s hear it for No-Bid, Cost-Plus Contracts!

        patriotism” at its finest

    • PubOption

      He can’t have ordered a stand-down, nothing was happening in Benghazi.

    • Lancelot Link

      Oh, they named that guy today.
      They named him to write a big editorial in today’s Wall Street Journal.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    We played a gig as scheduled the night of 9/11. Talked to the boys in the band…everyone agreed it was important not to just lay around crying with our thumbs up our asses. Longest night of my life on stage.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      “OK everyone! The Beer Barrel Polka! Woo hoo!”

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Leavin’ on a Jet Plane
        “What? Too soon?”

        • The Wanderer

          Oooh.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          It was at a blue collar roadhouse type of joint. It wasn’t crowded or festive, but I think people appreciated us being there, as we were all grieving in our own unique ways.

        • Jen B_VA

          You’re goin right to hell for that one, you realize.

        • deanbooth

          Gilbert Godfried on stage on 9/12: I was going to fly to Chicago, but the only flight had a stopover at the Empire State Building. Scattered booing ensued.

    • I had tickets to see Japanese noisecore band Melt Banana on 9/11 at the Knitting Factory but it was in the exclusion zone downtown.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I went to some shows at the Knitting Factory back in the day. Man, that was a great place, great bookings. I talked to the owner on the phone once…he seemed like a very earnest fellow.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Sorely missing? Eagle firing machine guns while crying.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Note: I couldn’t find the eagle firing machine guns, but the George Washington with a missile launcher, riding an eagle, clutching a flag, makes up for the loss.

    • Rick Hill

      Shedding a tear. because true strength isn’t crying, it’s ridding the body of unwanted baggage. Learned that from Dubya

    • Paul Dietzel

      Why dat top eagle have man hands?

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        That is a mystery.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Someone just photoshopped the eagle’s head onto a picture of Breitbart.

    • Nockular cavity

      Awesome. An eagle with an eagle on its shield. ‘Murica!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        And a human hand that looks to be a white guy’s hand. In case we didn’t get the message.

    • HogeyeGrex
  • mancityfooty .
  • greyXstar

    That’s impressively awful.

  • Rick Hill

    Going to add this, another timeless song which is pretty relevant. From an unreleased song, so it wasn’t generally heard. Unfortunately, like all poetry it is better when heard than read but it’s all I can do:

    Summer flies and August dies
    the world grows dark and mean
    Comes the shimmer of the moon
    on black infested trees
    the singing man is at his song
    the holy on their knees
    the reckless are out wrecking
    the timid plead their pleas
    No one knows much more of this
    than anyone can see anyone can see

    and there were days I know
    when all we ever wanted
    was to learn and love and grow
    Once we grew into our shoes
    we told them where to go
    walked halfway around the world
    on promise of the glow
    stood upon a mountain top
    walked barefoot in the snow
    gave the best we had to give
    how much we’ll never know we’ll never know

    It ends:
    Hearts of Summer held in trust
    still tender, young and green
    left on shelves collecting dust
    not knowing what they mean
    valentines of flesh and blood
    as soft as velveteen
    hoping love would not forsake
    the days that lie between lie between

    Ok, here’s the song, if you want…
    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwichuuczIfPAhUBzSYKHTnYC1IQyCkIITAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dzr7hMXBRqCE&usg=AFQjCNFvxC12Q-G_7qk3-eoryEZoWai6Kg&sig2=xkVEI9Bh7xa3DI1DsZ3DdQ

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Oh, crap, Clinton got “overheated” at the 9/11 memorial, so she’s definitely dying.

    • BosGrl

      Here we go… “breaking news”. Because no president ever felt ill.

      • Jen B_VA

        I still wonder what the wingnuts are thinking with the health thing.
        If she dies, Kaine is president. And he has no scandals they can freak out about.

        • Blank Ron

          Don’t worry, they’ll invent some.

      • Astraea

        Heat stress is for wimpy people who don’t have penises.

    • ltmcdies

      yes she is either in Chelsey’s apartment or sitting in a van outside Chelsey’s apartment
      Either way….unscheduled grandkid time….

  • beatbort

    Make America Flake Again.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Make America SPARKLE again!!!

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Sometimes I doubt America’s commitment to Sparkle Motion!!!

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          BELIEVE!!!!!!!

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Peggy Noonan is on Face the Nation, and she’s completely orange. Is this some kind of Manchurian signal amongst the wingnuts? Are the end times near?

    • Jen B_VA

      Yep. We made white not cool for them anymore. Blackity is right out and brown is bad….so orange it is!

    • beatbort

      Just what America needs. Peggy Noonan pawing through the ashes of the Twin Towers and finding Ronald Reagan’s corpse.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        She actually said “I hate to play the Reagan card, because I knew Ronald Reagan…”

        Noonan hates to mention Reagan, like I hate eating chocolate.

        • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

          Ronald Reagan on Peggy Noonan: “Who’s she?”

        • Jen B_VA

          Is this opposite day? First Rudy claims he never mentions 911 as a political thing and now Dame Peggy demures on Reagan?

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Correction: Dame Peggy pretended to demure! It was a total humblebrag!

            When she said it, I thought to myself “between this and Giuliani’s comment, it definitely must be opposite day.”

          • Jen B_VA

            GMTA?
            Or are they really just /that/ predictable anymore?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The Wallow.

    I hate it.

  • Shibusa

    What’s an anniversary of that awful day without Rudy?
    http://img00.deviantart.net/3ca3/i/2003/8/3/c/commisioned_9-11_painting.jpg

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      I like the part with the Tonka Trucks in it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That’s pure wallow.

      Which is why I hate it.

      I asked my parents (both young people when Pearl Harbor happened) if this country went into convulsions of something on December 7, 1942, reactions like we experience now every Septermber 11th, and they both replied “no”. For one thing, they had a war to win with actual existential threats, not go shopping.

      • Shibusa

        My Pop was on Oahu that day. He never, ever talked about it.

        • BosGrl

          Is it better or worse that people didn’t talk about things then and now all we do is talk? I mean, is it better or worse for us as people?

          • Jen B_VA

            Most the people most involved in 911 are not doing a hell of a lot of talking either.
            Those outside looking in always do all of the talking in every event.

          • BosGrl

            I’ve seen some survivors interviewed; I guess it depends on the individual.

      • bookish

        Or 24 hours of media time to fill.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Go to a 9/11 memorial service and ask everyone there the date of the Oklahoma City bombing. If they get the year right they’re absolute geniuses.

        HINT: April 19, 1995.

    • tehbaddr
    • Paul Dietzel

      Looks like Shrub is making a Harpo Marx “Gookie” face there.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      They really made W look unbelievably stupid. Good job!

  • greyXstar

    Ya know what’s nearly as cringey as the art? That line about memorial t-shirts for “gangsta teens”. What in the hell??

  • tehbaddr

    Is that a preggers Zebra fury angel, ZOMGWTFBBQ!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      With the ghost of Prince looking on.

      • wavicles

        I thought that I recognized Michael Jackson.

  • Kay Jay Day

    ok i just search #happy911 on facebook, and all the posts are either clueless people who are trying to memorialize, or even MORE clueless people accusing Muslims of using the hashtag to celebrate the terrorists.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    So this is OT: I’m currently listening to a local news radio station and they just interrupted to give an ABC news special report about Hillary Clinton’s health: she felt overheated during a 9/11 memorial service and had to leave.

    This, my friends, is the state of journalism today.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      How many Benghazi emails did she erase?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        AOT, K.

        • wavicles

          I think just the incriminating ones.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I bet that’s the real reason she felt overheated. Can’t say I blame her. Sometimes I feel faint after deleting all the damn emails the DNC sends me.

    • BosGrl

      Yep, MSNBC was showing the original 9/11 coverage and interrupted it.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Didn’t this all start out as a conspiracy theory on some cuckoo sites? The fact that “serious” journalists are taking this seriously boggles my mind.

        • BosGrl

          Yes, so now every time Hillary Clinton, human being, has some sort of ass ache it is going to be breaking news.

    • Spotts1701

      How long before Trump shoots his mouth off about it? 10 seconds? 5?

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I bet somewhere Rudy Giuliani feels vindicated.

        • Spotts1701

          Oh, he was on this morning defending Trump’s “Take the Oil” comment by saying “well, everything’s legal in war”.

          • Rachel Book Harlot

            Everything is legal in war? I bet that’s news to The Hague.

          • greyXstar

            But Hillary was very very totes wrong for calling Trump supporters deplorable!

    • Señor Skwerl

      Yep, heat stroke is a total myth made up by liberal trial lawyers to sue Real Americans.

  • eyelashviper

    FDR: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”
    Bush/Cheney: “Fear, fear, bombs and stuff, it’s a money maker!!”

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah, some Americans have turned into a herd of whitetails. First sign of trouble and they pronk away, tails flagging.

      • eyelashviper

        It sells more gunz, and keeps people skeered and hoping that Daddy will come along and fix things.

      • revenant

        tails flagging, fewmets flying

    • Toadette

      “And remember to go out and buy stuff! CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME.”

      • nightmoth

        Yes, our fearless leader suggested we all go shopping. I’ll never get over my WTF? on that one.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Home of the Brave” my ass.

  • mancityfooty .
    • The Wanderer

      Wow. That’s all I can say.

    • BosGrl

      I wonder how the tattoo artist felt about doing this and did he hide something in there like “moron”?

      • ltmcdies

        I hope he charged a bundle for that tat. that’s a lot of work

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Moran

    • Mr. Blobfish

      They spelled it correctly, I’ll give them that.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        No ragrets!

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Never froget!

    • TJ Barke

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      So much ink…so much stupidity!

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      It covers that canker quite nicely.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There are other ways to broadcast “I am a idiot” but that’s a pretty solid one.

    • Nockular cavity

      Stupid hurts, too.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        But not enough.

    • Jen B_VA

      Christ on a cracker he should sue the artist for that lousey job.

      • mancityfooty .

        I’m just thinking the artist said, “you want this? are you sure? here walk a straight line. touch your nose. now say the alphabet L through T and no sing song.”

        • Jen B_VA

          I am thinking the “artist” was an amatuer and probably did not do things like have clean needles.

          • mancityfooty .

            ewwww

    • Shibusa
      • Jen B_VA

        DUDE. Lunch time on the Beast coast. NOT COOL.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    My former neighbors lost their daughter on 9/11 and she left 2 little girls behind. They are now beautiful young ladies and one got this tattoo in her honor. I love it.

    • mancityfooty .

      that is tasteful

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Well, that stopped the tears for a bit. I feel it’s my patriotic duty to go buy a Fleshlight.

    • The Wanderer

      I’ve never understood the need for a Fleshlight.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Well, sometimes, on very dark, cold nights….

        • The Wanderer

          Then you warm up the lube.

      • When you’ve got a cored cucumber full of hand lotion the world’s your oyster

        • BosGrl

          “i don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.”

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Many years ago I saw the lyrics of a parody of “I Got Plenty o’ Nuttin’.”
        which went:
        “I Got Plenty o’ Nuttin’ and Nuttins plenty for me.
        I got my hand.
        I got my dick,
        I got my fantasy.”
        Ah, back in the day, when people had to make do with what they could find.

      • wavicles

        It’s not a need.
        Go Fleshlight and you may never go back

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I salute your courage and sacrifice. Thank you for your service.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Never forget.

    • Spotts1701

      Huh…funny – I don’t remember seeing anyone like that when I was there last weekend. I remember one little kid dressed as the Westin Atlanta (one of the hotel sites for the con), which got some laughs as I saw him in the Hyatt.

    • BosGrl

      People are brainless. I do not think they should have been kept out of the con but the idiots obviously didn’t care if this was distressing to people.

      • Spotts1701

        I don’t know – the article doesn’t seem to imply they were ejected (I saw a lot of costumes a lot more tacky than that who weren’t tossed). They may not have registered and paid admission.

        • BosGrl

          I’m thinking of the time and effort spent making this costume and the conversation between them. “More smoke here”, “Should I put some flames in this window?” Unless they are attending the same meetings as the tattoo guy… what on earth were they thinking?

          • Spotts1701

            Sure doesn’t look like a slap-dash job – you’re right it took some effort and cost (even if it was raiding Goodwill for Barbie dolls). I’m guessing it was “let’s push the envelope as far as we can, and if someone takes umbrage we can provoke them into hurting us and get lots of $$$ suing them”.

          • Jen B_VA

            They sort of look like people who would instantly think that way.

    • The Wanderer

      Holy fuck, that’s awful.
      At least the body paint Rainbow Dash had some artistic merit.

      • BosGrl

        Don’t they usually wear some sort of bottom and paint over it? I mean, it sucks getting sand up there, I can’t imagine paint.

        • The Wanderer

          That appears to be all paint. I’m trying to delete the image, because it might get me banhammered.

          • BosGrl

            Well it’s sort of like posting a picture of someone with camel toe… you can’t really see anything.

          • The Wanderer

            (nods)

    • SeekingBarbie

      Clueless….tasteless. Bet they thought they were TOTES clever.

      • Basket of Vagendas

        and no doubt taking a victory lap on some usual suspect site as we speak.

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah. They should have had little barbie dolls falling down the sides. That would have made it a tribute….

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      That is all kinds of WTF.

    • timpundit

      God. All that crepe paper gluing didn’t give them time to think this through?

    • Beaumarchais?

      What a fun couple.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      That’s just fucking awful.

    • Doug Langley

      “Does this fireball make me look fat?”

    • lroom

      What the actual fuck.

    • wavicles

      How ironic it would be if some Murika hater tossed a match onto them.

    • greyXstar

      This is what happens when 4chan members manage to drag themselves out of their crawlspaces.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Peggy Noonan on Face the Nation: “I hate to play the Reagan card, because I knew Ronald Reagan…”

    Christ on a cracker, Peggy, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE, the man’s been dead for years.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The shitty grade Z movie star. They will never get past him.

    • eyelashviper

      But she has a dildo with his autograph on it…..

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I had a friend who got a double-headed dildo as a housewarming present. One of the women present bit into it hard enough to leave teeth marks, then followed up with indelible marker: Luke, had a good time Sorry about the braces. Buffy.

    • Spotts1701

      Yes, she totally hates to do that. Really painful for her.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Yeah, she hates doing that as much as I hate eating chocolate.

      • revenant

        and you can tell how truly painful it is for her by the way she drags his name into every last fucking thing, no matter how off-topic it may be.

        she obviously gets a tiny tingle in her bathing-suit-area every time she says His Name; maybe it’s just been so long since she had that feeling in any normal way that she experiences it as pain

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Can you put pepper jelly on that Christ cracker?

      • mancityfooty .

        mmm hmmm

      • SeekingBarbie

        Cream cheese and red chile jelly on any cracker. Mmmmm.:

    • Duke

      I think she meant the “Reagan Myth” card.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Yes, let’s play the Raygun card: he called the Taliban freedom fighters.

      “If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?” – George Carlin

    • Basket of Vagendas

      And you said yourself you only ever had one conversation with him because Nancy and Maureen disliked you and wouldn’t leave you alone with him.

      • revenant

        so, just another seriously misguided “Bride of Jesus” then

        (considering how lunatic the whole idea of marriage to an imaginary person was from the start, applying it to some grifting fucking politician piles insanity on lunacy, with sprinkles)

        • Basket of Vagendas

          She wrote in her first book that she asked him if he remembered the scene in Yankee Doodle Dandy where Cohan/Cagney tapdanced down the stairs after getting a medal from FDR, because she had this complicated theory about how it was the germinal influence on his sunshiny boundlessly optimistic patriotism for the common man.

          He said he did, because nobody knew Cagney could dance.

          Well, except for the people who saw all those musicals he made, including the one big Busby Berkeley one, but Pegs was totally fucking validated, let me tell you what.

          • revenant

            it was “central to her point”, IYKWIMAITYD

          • Basket of Vagendas

            You know, geometrically, all a point is is a center. Things that make you go, geez, Peg, the sun must be over the yardarm somewhere.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Play that card and you’ll be Trumped.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        I am playing 4 No Trump

    • Shibusa
      • Vagenda and Tiara

        God, I miss Stewart and Colbert so much. We need them now more than ever.

        • Jen B_VA

          Coo coo cachoo Mr. Jon Stuart
          The Nation turns its lonely eyes to you….ooo ooo ooo
          What’s that you say, Mr. Steve Colbert? Jazzy Jon has left and gone away? Hey hey hey

      • mancityfooty .

        was hard to masturbate to

        I said hard, not impossible

    • Basket of Vagendas

      Good thing his sons, who knew him slightly better, played that card already and you’re relieved of that weary burden.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I’m dying that RR Jr. thought there was no way Trump could get elected. Sigh…I guess we all laughed.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    BBC Breaking News: Clinton doesn’t feel good at 9/11 thing.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      No details.

    • TJ Barke

      Clearly guilt because she killed all those people!

      • NellCote71

        Obviously. (Head slap.)

    • Gentle Robot

      ah jeez bbc i trusted you

      • Jen B_VA

        sucker!

        • Gentle Robot

          they were the only ones who bothered to say who actually started isis
          geez you think these folks would get the day off
          both campaigns said they werent campaigning

          • Jen B_VA

            I am sure the press will very respectfully not report on whatever insane bullshit Trump tweets today, since he has the day off.

      • mancityfooty .

        a state run news agency?
        damn
        /sn

        • Gentle Robot

          what’s sn? super nougat?

          • mancityfooty .

            damn your eyes

    • timpundit

      Fox barked about it earlier. BBC: “Fox’s account of the events could not be independently verified.”

      • Jen B_VA

        lol is that polite Brit for “they are full of shit” ?

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          Sadly, it didn’t stop them from sharing it.

  • TJ Barke

    Sort of semi but mostly OT, I was reading the rationalwiki page on 9/11, and they mentioned this guy: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Richard_Hoagland
    Holy shit is he fucking cuckoo bird…

    • Jen B_VA

      wtf is the Board of American Antigravity???

      • TJ Barke

        A club for lunatics?

        • Jen B_VA

          Aparently XD

      • tehbaddr

        I’d like to tell you, but if I did we’d have to send somebody for you.

        • Jen B_VA

          I am good with that. Pretty sure I am done with this planet today.

        • mancityfooty .

          *assembles the black helicopters*
          Ready, sir

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Pffft. Everyone knows gravity is just a hoax perpetuated by the liberal media. Wake up!

        • wavicles

          Everyone who’s done their own research, anyway.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Well, after all, it’s just a theory.

  • Vagenda 21 (Royal Ugly Dude)
    • BosGrl

      I love this

    • DainBramage

      George W put on some weight.

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    I bet that my mom’s right-wing fundy Christian brothers would buy every one of these.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    This one always brings tears to my eyes, but for reasons other than were intended.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Why does patriot Jesus have his back to the flag?

      • Rick Hill

        Jeebus, reporting for duty

      • Dudleydidwrong

        When you’re Jesus, you salute in all directions. It’s in the bible somewhere.

        Since that picture was painted on a utility trailer that I saw parked somewhere I assume the artist had to put something behind the Jesus other than “Joe’s Lawn Service” which was, come to think of it, what was painted underneath. On second thought, maybe Jesus isn’t saluting. He’s looking for more undocumented workers to do the yard work.

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          “Jesus, can you seeeeeeeee….?”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      That guy’s crazy if he thinks the military would accept him with that hair.

  • Blender_415

    I don’t know which disturbs me more… the anniversary of a bunch of maniacs flying planes into buildings, or seeing Ken’s name in a byline after all these years.

    I need a hug.

  • AnOuthouse

    The eagle is crying? I thought it had been working really hard and was sweating.

    • Toadette

      It has a sad because it attacked Fearless Leader Trump.

      • lroom

        You mean it’s sad cause it missed the main artery?

    • Bernarda Alba

      It felt sorry for the fluffy little rabbit whose heart it just tore out to feed its chicks, lol no, bald eagles are soulless killing machines which is why they’re the American bird.

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    My usual gang of historic battle reenactors tried to get permission to reenact 9/11 at the original location, but unfortunately we couldn’t get a permit. We may have to go with the Dallas stair climb.

    • The Wanderer

      (blinks) Is it anything like the Batley Townswomen’s Guild?

      • mancityfooty .

        no, you only need, like, 19 people

        aww, fuck me

        • SessileRaptor

          The problem isn’t getting enough people, it’s finding two Nerf 747s.

        • The Wanderer
          • mancityfooty .

            well, at least I won’t be the only one in hell

          • The Wanderer

            I have ice water and air conditioning reserved.

          • mancityfooty .

            I’ve been there so I have tour guide all sewn up

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Muskets beat purses 6 times out of 7.

  • SnarkOff

    Eagle tears taste like chicken broth.

    • The Wanderer

      ISWYDT

  • mancityfooty .

    did anyone else say “JESUS IN SPACE!” at the first image?
    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/9-11-jesus-wept.jpg

    • mancityfooty .

      Or Mohammed, you know, any middle eastern type with a beard

    • TJ Barke

      I think you mean SPAAAAAAAAACE.

      • mancityfooty .

        pigs in space still aren’t kosher

        • John Smith

          Or halal, as the case may be.

        • TJ Barke

          Not even after they’re freeze dried?

      • mancityfooty .

        fixed
        grassy ass

    • DainBramage

      That explains the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I wish that were true.

      • The Wanderer

        The Star Child, all grown up?

        • Doug Langley

          “When I grow up, I wanna be a penniless hermit who heals the sick, trash talks rich folks, and die on a cross in unspeakable pain!”

          “Um, son, we need a talk . . .”

      • Basket of Vagendas

        No. No, it does not. Nothing explains the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey. JMO.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I was trying to figure out what the moon is doing – has it just bounced off of Jesus’ face?

      • Jen B_VA

        It seems to have cracked his cheek bone

      • mancityfooty .

        teenage angsty Jesus popped a zit and thus, the moon

    • SeekingBarbie

      Asserts facts not in evidence.

    • Rick Hill

      He was weeping when the US firebombed Tokyo and caused upwards of 100k deaths and many more injured and left with no shelter? No?

      • mancityfooty .

        umm….pass

    • edith prickly

      So the Earth is about the size of a beach ball compared to the head of Jesus?

      • mancityfooty .

        jesus is so much bigger than you can comprehend

    • It looks more like Jesus just got caught leering through the window at the Sex Room at the local Motel 6.

      • mancityfooty .

        he sees you when you’re sleeping…
        wait
        wrong deity

    • Lancelot Link

      What’s his problem – his daddy murdered way more innocent people.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Happy Rudy Giuliani Day, everyone! Did everybody get a stocking filled with little American flags on a stick and yellow, magnetic “I support our troops” bumper stickers? Remember to display them because that’s what patriotism is all about! And if you see any Community Organizers be sure to spit on them because volunteering in your community is the work of Satan.

    • The Wanderer

      Make sure the Quarantine/Cowardice Yellow Ribbons are made in China – you know, real American stuff!

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    This takes “anything for a buck” to a whole new low. Or rather a 15 year old low. My angst runneth over.

    • Robin

      You know what’s really low? Forgetting the nine in the BUCK-O-NINE real patriots spent to keep this country safe.

      • Vagandarian the Librarian!

        I’m sorry, I don’t get this. I see they’re a ska band.

  • Astraea

    Guiliani says anything’s legal in war:
    “Well, no. I — he — he said take it so that the Islamic State then would not have had it available,” Giuliani replied before the host asked him, “That’s not legal, is it?”

    “Of course it’s legal. It’s a war,” Giuliani retorted before grinning and adding, “Until the war is over, anything’s legal.”

    • Jen B_VA

      ….wtf? Until the war is over?????

    • The Wanderer

      Inter arma, enim silent leges.
      Don Ridolfo could have just quoted Cicero.

    • Vagandarian the Librarian!

      Last time I checked the Geneva Conventions were still in place.

      • Astraea

        pfffft, as if we have to honor our agreements.

      • SeekingBarbie

        So are treaties with Native Americans. Look how that worked out.

      • BadKitty904

        There’s a reason Chimpy and Cheney haven’t stopped by the Hague to say “hello”…

      • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

        And they did not stop us from using “enhanced interrogation techniques”.

    • DainBramage

      So, the ghoul must think that only the losers should follow the Geneva Convention, as only they will be held accountable.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Another asshole who has never worn the uniform displaying his “expertise” on the conduct of wars.

      • BadKitty904

        Rudy Gooey is to U.S. global military strategy as my cat is to plasma physics.

  • Jo Mathie

    I was horrified by the events that happened on 9/11. Absolutely it will leave a mark on history and those lost should certainly be remembered. But as a Brit this stuff just baffles me. I was in London on 7/7/05, so was my brother working in one of the places that it was suggested might be a target. It was terrifying. I was lucky enough to get a call to my mum as soon as I found out what was happening before everything got overloaded and crashed for several hours. No train or bus services it was scary as hell especially as I was on the bus that exploded the day before. My brother was fine thankfully and we both consider ourselves lucky. We both became blood donors after that. Guess how many stupid giffs and useless pictures there are about 7/7? None I’ve seen. Good. Turning a tragedy into some sort of jingoistic thing is just in poor taste. (Yeah we have Remembrance Sunday where a lot of us wear paper poppies but that goes to charity and actually does some good).

    • mancityfooty .

      I took a train to London on Easter weekend in ’03 (we drove in ’04).
      I was more worried about the maintenance on the tracks than any kind of intentional bombing.

    • TJ Barke

      This is Muricah! And in Muricah, we are kitschy as fuck.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The scary thing is, pre WWII Germany was as kitschy as fuck, too.

        • BadKitty904

          Why do you hate the Weimarer Republik?

        • John Smith

          Life is a Cabaret.

    • Tacotruckjohn

      Why do you hate America!?

      • revenant

        you’ve seen the illustrations above, and you still need to ask?

      • Jo Mathie

        I don’t remotely hate America – I’ve got friends there. I hate tacky things that do nothing but exploit tragedy without doing anything.

        • Jo Mathie

          You might be being sarcastic – it’s the internet, who can tell sometimes.

          • SeekingBarbie

            “Why do you hate America?” is a thing some Americans (“love it or leave it!”) say when other Americans, in an alternate view of patriotism, criticize something about their own country, so in Wonkette context it is likely to be a snark.

        • Tacotruckjohn

          Socialist.

    • Doug Langley

      We have a PR department that would boggle your mind.

    • Basket of Vagendas

      Because it happened in DC and NY, and most of America hates DC and New York. NYC at the time was sending ~$15 billion a year more money to the feds in taxes than we were getting back, and Bush’s OMB guy called it ‘a money-grubbing game’ when we tried to get what little they did promise us, standing on rubble with a bullhorn.

      Because if it happened to an eagle and a flag, they can hate us and bust up the world to avenge us all at the same time.

  • Tallmutha

    Dok, last year I called your attention to this beauty and you said you were going to save it:

    http://m.imgur.com/PL4lB?r

    • timpundit

      Oh dear god

    • The Wanderer

      Bush rolling up his sleeves? To do what – eat some BBQ ribs?

      • mancityfooty .

        so he can tie off
        what, you thought he only did coke?

      • Rick Hill

        Get to work cutting…some taxes.

      • Doug Langley

        Cuz he’s trying to figure out where he put his wristwatch.

        • revenant

          you mean he’d been “up-fisting” himself?

          that’s okay, i know where the door is….

      • BadKitty904

        My guess would’ve been “pretzels”.

      • Master Contrail Program

        “Now watch this drive.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The deserting coward, in all his “glory”.

    • Vagandarian the Librarian!

      That’s gross. And grossly exaggerated.

    • BadKitty904

      Chimpy can’t figure out how to button his shirt sleeve? Also, not enough “My Pet Goat,” too.

      • Doug Langley

        You ought to see his hoodie dressing contests with Jeb.

        • BadKitty904

          He could put his eye out.

    • Jen B_VA

      It is watermarked?
      Not only do they not get it, but they really do not get it.

    • wavicles

      Now that’s presidential, ain’t it? Does anyone miss him as much as I?

      • revenant

        just as much as my last case of food poisoning

        you know, when you feel like you’re dying, and wish it would hurry up?

    • edith prickly

      Is he rolling up his sleeves to do some Decidering?

  • timpundit

    My Mom’s birthday is today and I already got her a velvet painting of Elvis manning a fire hose. Too late, Wonkettes.

    • BadKitty904

      You are a Good Son/Daughter.

    • NellCote71

      Better Elvis than Peyton or Eli.

  • Bernarda Alba

    As my mom (a World War II babe) used to say, “You run a couple of planes into a couple of buildings and the whole country falls apart. We’re WIMPS.”

    Fifteen years on we’re still licking our wounds over 9/11, and our self-pity is only eclipsed by our complete obliviousness to the millions of lives that have been destroyed by our military adventures in the Middle East (and our savage racist attacks on Americans of Middle Eastern ancestry), pre- and post-9/11.

    • The Wanderer

      We’re still licking our wounds because we never allow them to close.

      • mancityfooty .

        will someone please put a Elizabethan collar on us?

        • The Wanderer

          You mean like the Cone of Shame?

          • Doug Langley

            Cone of Silence works for me, too.

    • SeekingBarbie

      We’re spending billions on our inflated military to save the lives of hungry, homeless, poorly educated children who should be grateful for their sacrifice

      • Basket of Vagendas

        Um. Do you genuinely believe we broke the middle east and stole Iraq’s oil (along with a huge amount of taxpayer money) based on deliberate lies for the children?

        • SeekingBarbie

          No, it’s my opinion of current values.

    • revenant

      my first reaction on that day was something like “so those poor fuckers are finally fighting back, huh? that’s not going to go very well for anybody. shit

    • anosmia

      I do wonder what the countries who experience terror attacks pretty much every day think about us and our annual 9/11 grief orgy. Granted, those attacks are never singularly as big as 9/11, but still, those people live in a constant state of terror and they probably lose each year close to the amount of people we lost on 9/11. Just yesterday more than 40 people were killed in an attack in Baghdad and at least 100 people were killed in bombings in Syria. It adds up. They don’t have the luxury of engaging in a major wound-licking on a terror anniversary every year.

      • John Smith

        Those people are brown though.

      • DemmeVagenda

        Having lived all over the world, I was surprised at how much of the reaction was: “I can’t believe they attacked us HERE!” (An actual quote from a friend of mine.)
        For example: in London in the 70s, you would always be on alert for something left unattended on a train. (IRA)
        Airport security was high in most places, but not the USA. At Heathrow Arpt., heavily armed guards (handguns, automatic rifles, bullet proof vests, etc.) roamed the halls at the El Al terminal. (So-called Arab hijackers.)
        The 9/11 attack was brutal, huge, and devastating, but not as shocking to me as it was to most Americans.
        Though as a New Yorker, it was very touching to see all the worldwide support.

  • SessileRaptor

    You haven’t experienced the true heart of america until you’ve seen a shitty Sonic the Hedgehog fanart tribute to 9-11.

    • edith prickly

      Pics or GTFO…

      • Rick Hill

        Please, no…..

        • revenant

          yeah, no, that’s okay, wouldn’t want to put you to any trouble or anything, oh, look at the time, got to be going, bye!

          (SLAM)

      • SessileRaptor

        Fuck you for making me look at this MS paint bullshit again. The terrorists have officially won.
        http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs11/i/2006/254/d/7/Remember_9_11_by_Marcusthehedgehog.png

        • edith prickly

          I honour your sacrifice.

          • SessileRaptor

            Maybe in 15 years Mattress stores will hold 20% off sales in my honor.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      I bet there’s all kinds of pepe tributes going on over at reddit…

  • Rick Hill

    Speaking of horrific 9-11 things. Reported now that on 9-11 trump exclaimed “Well, now my building is the tallest in NY.”
    He was right, there were people celebrating on that day…

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah. Him.

  • John Smith

    OT: FFS, NBC just broke in with a special report that Hillary left 9/11 service because she got overheated. Went to Chelsea’s Apt then left looking fine, then tied it into the Republican’s health whining and conspiracies. Jesus Christ, will it ever stop!

    • The Wanderer

      Nope. The “liberal” media, who are “in the tank for Hillary,” will never stop insinuating that this poor old frail woman’s unsuitable as a President.
      Fucking idiots.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Well, vaginas do make one more susceptible to illness. I myself have a slight headache right now. Damn vagina.

        • wavicles

          Well, I for one enjoy being around ’em, and they do make me susceptible, but not to illness.

    • Ricky Gay

      WAPO says “Falls ill” -WtF

    • SayItWithWookies

      How incredible that the media seems to have forgotten it’s pretty normal for a person to be sick for a few days and then get better — sorta how one has a coughing fit, lower-than-average energy level for a week, then afterwards will return to normal. It’s happened to me recently and absolutely nobody took it as an opportunity for baseless speculation about my expected longevity.

      • Courser

        Oh man, me too! I was supposed to help out at a county fair and after the first day, I felt like crap and had to cancel the rest of the weekend. WHY, oh WHY? Dunno, just felt wiped out.

        I’m in excellent health, but I’m 57. Shit happens, roll with it. My friends understand.

    • Astraea

      We bring you breaking news inside Chelsea’s apartment: https://kelleepratt.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/fw_gonewiththewind-gif.gif?w=610

      • Astraea

        Oh wait, that’s the press corps.

        • revenant

          who’s that in the center? Dame Peggy of Nooooninghamshire?

          meh- just drop her and let her sleep it off.

      • John Smith

        She swooned from the vapors.

    • Jen B_VA

      If we elect her, we have 4-8 more years of this.
      If we do not elect her, we get to bomb everyone in the world, probably have conscription (of which I have 2 minds on, but there is so much nuance in that it would take a book) and likely have all our actual first ammendment right sstripped and not just on the intertubes.
      Weigh the scales.

      • John Smith

        I think I know how you feel about the draft, and agree.

    • Rick Hill

      It is news…if it”s followed up by “We hope she is feeling better.” Not “Look, she’s dying argle barglee!1!!1”
      Of course, we all know the truth. Her human covering was starting to sag from the heat. She went to the revitachamber and had it refreshed and injected more nutrients to sustin her.

      • John Smith

        Nutrients derived from aborted fetuses stem cells and Soylent Green.

        • Rick Hill

          Hey! That’s a secret recipe…

          • John Smith

            Found it on You Tube. Dr Oz put it out.

    • BadKitty904

      As I recall, FDR manage to defeat Nazi Germany from a wheelchair. Wt*F* is wrong with the “Liberal” media? Are they genuinely THAT misogynistic?

      • SeekingBarbie

        They probably are, along with being desperate for anything that will give them higher ratings.

        • BadKitty904

          Sad, but frighteningly true.

      • John Smith

        Yes; yes they are.

      • BosGrl

        And Kennedy had Addison’s disease. Didn’t stop him either.

        • BadKitty904

          AND a permanent back injury.

          Bottom line, it’s September. I spent all yesterday and most of this morning outside – it’s HOT, OK? Considering that Hilz is actually campaigning for President – a strenuous job at any age – and Trump is just Twitting, no wonder she needed to “leave early”.

      • bobbert

        Apparently, yes.

    • greyXstar

      No.

  • Tacotruckjohn

    Well, at least there are some limits to what people will tolerate.

    http://www.mysanantonio.com/business/article/San-Antonio-mattress-store-closes-9213258.php

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah, that was pretty dumb of the mattress store people.

      • Doug Langley

        Now we warned you not to say “mattress” to Mr Lambert!

        • The Wanderer

          Now we have to go stand in the tea chest and sing Jerusalem!

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          *stands in two tea chests ’cause he won’t fit in just one*

          And did those feet in ancient times
          Walk upon England’s mountains green…

      • eddi

        Tone deaf is the politest thing I can say about it.

  • I notice we didn’t get the picture after Jesus the Great Destroyer where he flings most of those souls into Hell.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I am very confused by the pregnant/angelic white tiger furry.

    • BadKitty904

      You’re confused? I thought it was some kind of mutant zebra.

      • Parakeetist

        Clearly.

        • BadKitty904

          Admittedly, I can’t see the “head” of that thing to tell exactly what it is.

    • DainBramage

      I’m now angel tiger furry curious.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Rule 34- it never fails.

    • John Smith

      Radical Islamic Terrorists hate unmarried pregnant cats!

  • BadKitty904

    What the hell?

  • azeyote

    with rudy blathering on the trump train it’s the 9-11 mindless crazy every day – please make it stop –

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Ok, some many most virtually all of those look like they came from bad geocities pages. 0.0

  • Sister Artemis

    I think I mentioned this last year: As a professional tattoo artist, one of the more awkward requests is the lovely Crying Eagle with Flag Tattoo … which, yes, I have done. I just try to do a nice eagle and get over myself – they are going to wear it, not me.

    And every time I wonder: is this really the best tribute you could think of? (yes, maybe? I’d have chosen the Statue of Liberty, or maybe a dove or an om sign), and also too, do eagles have tear ducts? Apparently reeling from the experience of doing kitschy tattoos (just don’t ask about my customers who are into “Precious Moments” figurines, ok? *shudder*), I always forget about my how-do-eagles-even-work question until the next sad patriotic eagle comes around.

    *sigh*

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Of course eagles have tear ducts. I’m pretty sure virtually every non-aquatic creature does. / pedant

      • Sister Artemis

        Well, of course you’re right, in the lubricate the eye sense. But do they CRY BIG FUCKING PATRIOTIC TEARS (did I tell you the time I was asked to make the reflection of the towers IN the tears? I said NO I cannot do that. Sorry)

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Not just BIG FUCKING PATRIOTIC TEARS, but BIG FUCKING PATRIOTIC TEARS OF BLOOD! And, I’m going with “no.”

    • greyXstar

      See now I’m interested in the Precious Moments stories.

      • Sister Artemis

        too chilling to recount

        • Kiri the Unicorn
          • Sister Artemis

            I have, on the other, been delighted to adorn my customers with Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Princess Luna. Still waiting on a Pinkie Pie with baited breath.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I have a generic unicorn tat that made me bleed like crazy. No more!

          • Sister Artemis

            Pictures or GTFO! (no pressure, of course!)

            Technical note here: bleeding is general caused by either very thin blood (I have this, have to eat lotsa Vit.K-rich food before hand to counteract) or a brutal tattooist. So, maybe something that could have been avoided. But I’ll never try to talk someone into another tattoo, so no worries here.

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            No pics- I hate how I look in photos.

          • Sister Artemis

            You have twinkly eyes and good smile, so though I know what it’s like to hate one’s own pics, the rest of us wouldn’t care. And, unless that thing is on your face, pics should be pretty safe. But, in any case, I was just teasin’

            However, just in case you ever get the urge again, someday I yearn to do a classic that just doesn’t, imho, get the attention and reverence it deserves: the traditional CLASS-TACKY zebra-corn-

          • Sister Artemis
          • Sister Artemis

            love the screenname adjustment ;)

    • chascates

      Ever done a Bush with the megaphone tattoo?

    • Loki1001

      do eagles have tear ducts?

      They do, but they don’t actually cry. Crying as humans perceive it is strictly a mammalian trait.

    • Shibusa

      Peggy Noonan wonders if you could do her hooters:

      • Sister Artemis

        OMG – that’s is a) really good tattoo work, b) almost as chilling as the crying eagle flag thing, and c) makes me wonder if I’d have to break my rules about not tattooing drunks and/or being drunk while tattooing.

  • h4rr4r

    Ever notice how this stuff always comes from folks who hate NYC and cities in general?

  • tehbaddr

    I heard that Dick Cheney has chronic gum problems and his breath smells like shit as a result. He is also a CLOSE TALKER. He keeps a small bottle of diluted hydrogen peroxide which he rinses with every hour on the hour, and he swallows it instead of spitting. He also picks his nose vigorously (violently) and hums loudly and tunelessly to himself while taking shits.

    • John Smith

      Color me surprised!

    • The Wanderer

      Did you hear that on the internet? Because if you did, it must be true.

      • tehbaddr

        Also, too, another quirk about Cheney’s hydrogen peroxide habit. He basically whips out a hip flask and takes a mouthful, and rinses for about two minutes, then swallows. Then, without fail, he tells everyone around him that he is using hydrogen peroxide, that it is great for your teeth, and that they too should rinse with it as he does. I think he’s worried people will misunderstand what he is doing and think he’s a lush.

        • BadKitty904

          Dick Vader should count himself INCREDIBLY lucky if people only thought he is a lush.

    • revenant

      no doubt he is otherwise a charming companion, what with his ready sneer and his hatred and contempt for all living things

    • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

      Initially read that as “chronic gun problems” and was wondering who he shot this time.

  • weejee

    Sorry I can get on board with this. True there’s a lot of bad art tied to this, but there’s a ton of bad art attached to pretty much every thing. True Rudy is totally noun-verb 9/11.

    That said I’m working with a person who was in the South Tower when it collapsed. He was able to dig his way out, was able to get across the street into a doorway and boom, the North Tower collapsed. He lost over a hundred co-workers on 9/11. He’s still working on the rebuilding of the One World Trade complex. I feel profoundly privileged to know him and call him a friend.

    Hey Ken, do you want to piss on one of these flags below? I’m sorry, but I think you’re being a dick on this. Banhammer me, I don’t give a fucking fuck.

    • h4rr4r

      What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

      This is about bad art and folks trying to make money off a tragedy.

      • BadKitty904

        My memory of 09/11 was being sent home from school and grown-ups crying in public, which I’d never seen before (it was scary). That said, I absolutely believe that al-Qaeda’s cowardly treachery and Obama’s execution of Bin Laden should not be forgotten by anyone who loves this country.

        However, I, too, read this column as a commentary on horrifically bad art and the hateful efforts to cash in on a national tragedy – not as any sort of attempt to minimize the horror or sacrifices of 09/11.

        • h4rr4r

          The grownups let you on the computer in the middle of a day on Sunday, shouldn’t you be out playing? Remember you have school tomorrow.

          • BadKitty904

            Hey, *hey*, HEY! None of that ageist stuffs, if you please. I’m all growed up – I can buy liquor and guns and everything!

        • eddi

          To take it where it’s going, it’s about necrophilia as advertising.
          Better to lay the flowers, place the flags and raise a toast to those who are missed. But then life must go on. We don’t need 24 hour coverage and burger coupons.

          • BadKitty904

            I agree. Honor the fallen, yes – make a buck off the fallen, no.

      • weejee

        I’m sorry that I find this piece as tasteless as the art it is trying to satirize.

        • h4rr4r

          Were you draw the line is odd.
          Personally mocking crass commercialism and people trying to make themselves part of something is fine.

          • weejee

            I’m sorry, but I think Layne has missed the mark here. It read more to me that he’s spoofing the folks that buy the art rather than the dicks who sell it, one way or the other.

          • h4rr4r

            Two sides of the same coin. Buying it, meams they make more of it.

    • Sister Artemis

      Ken’s long gone. And the art, in the eyes of many of us, defiles the tragedy.

      • weejee

        Though it means nothing, I was here commenting at the Wonket before Ken showed-up. I’m sorry, but I don’t see the defiling as much as making fun of people whose appreciation of art is, shall we say limited. Shall we start making fun of the ret*rded again?

    • Callyson

      I think I’m with you on this. Still remember the moment of sheer panic between the time it was reported that a plane went down “near Pittsburgh” and the time it was made clear that it crashed in a country field, well away from the skyscraper in the city where my father was working at the time.

      Some of us will really never forget, and not for political purposes either.

      • h4rr4r

        Bad art and consumer crassness is the way you want this memorialized?

        • Callyson

          Of course not, but I think this was a missed opportunity. Would have liked to see a piece along the lines of the one they run on Memorial Day, where a real, non-sappy and non-exploitive piece honoring the fallen post is used.

          • h4rr4r

            I would rather nothing. Terrorists seek to instill fear and to change our lives. The best memorial would be to rebuild the towers as they were and go on like nothing happened.

          • weejee

            I am working on rebuilding the World Trade Center Complex. And trust me, the terrorists do not frighten me a whit. More likely to get struck by lightening than injured by those clowns. Also and too, not having Mr. tRump’s resources to dodge the draft, and being a loyal member of the 5′-7″ and under club, back in the day I got to go down into tunnels outside Cu Chi with a Walther pistol and a flashlight.

          • eddi

            Balls of adamantium, sir. Thank you.

          • weejee

            More stupidity than adamantium quite honestly. I got a lecture on that from the popo a few years back.

          • h4rr4r

            Too bad it is taking so long. I hoped they would rebuild them 11 stories taller. The rebuilding seems to have been a huge political mess from day one.

          • weejee

            Agree 100%.

          • feministing

            this. people being assholes and making bad art for a crass buck isn’t anything new. and since they don’t own 9/11 or how to honor the day, why act as if they do? this seemed out of place, like some have said, without an accompanying serious post. making fun of people who make fun (bastardize) of 9/11? ok whatever, it’s your time and energy not mine.

    • Vagandarian the Librarian!

      I respect your co-worker and what he went through, but this is not about pissing on the flag. This is about the hypocrisy and lack of understanding among so many that this is not “Make a Quick Buck Day”

    • Basket of Vagendas

      I’ve already had my say about people who try to own this day on behalf of their view of seemliness. So I’ll just say that to my mind, while some of it may have been sincerely meant, this art takes something which happened in very specific places to a very specific group of people and turns it into just another politicized Angel Fire meme to signify who is in and who is outgroup.

      And the people who died? Were outgroup, by and large. Jewish and gay and working women and bankers and POC and just in general outsiders of every description.

      So yes, I think trying to snatch the meaning of 3000 deaths away from the dead and the people who loved them, not to mention the first responders who are still dying because they were lied to about the safety of the air, and coopt it all as a political or religious symbol is in really poor taste.

      YMMV

    • Courser

      If this is a vote for banhammering, I vote nay.

      Your feelings are 100% valid and I completely respect them. No worries on that, particularly from me.

      I have very mixed feelings about 9/11 and while some commemoration is certainly appropriate and appreciated, I’m very uncomfortable about the deification of first responders. I know quite a few who are also uncomfortable about it.

    • Loki1001

      This post is actually a better commemoration of 9/11 than anything in the article itself. You expressed raw emotion, genuine emotion.

      That is what is absent from basically everything in the article. I think this article should be posted along side a more somber contemplative article. But I don’t really object to posting an article slagging on people who used 9/11 to make a cheep buck, or created completely plastic art devoid of emotional grounding and exploiting cheep symbolism.

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Is that suppose to be the statue of liberty or wonder woman with uhhh rakes across her chest? Was she raped, or beaten like or slave, or just undergoing a traditional scarring ritual? I’m so confused!

    • Basket of Vagendas

      That would be the Staten Island Faerie. She’s very martial.

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    My one serious concession to this date that has been raped up and down by politicians and moneygrubbers.
    “Today we are all Americans.”
    Unfortunately that phrase no longer means the same thing. Thanks, Dub & pals.
    https://youtu.be/djo12DqE9-4

  • SayItWithWookies

    If you drink to NEVAR FORGET, then one of these might be the bottle for you:
    http://brandchannel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/9-11-wine.jpg

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Nevar forget…. Wait, what’s the opposite of that? That’s what I drink fer.

    • The Wanderer

      Chardonnay and Merlot? That’s what they offered?

      • BadKitty904

        No cabernet?

        • The Wanderer

          Apparently not.

    • snark-lurker

      you just hurtted my brane wi-dat

  • Vagenda Shark

    I can’t celebrate the crassness and stupidity of my fellow ‘murricans. No snark to had. Still rings too close to home for me.

    Enjoy your afternoon, fellow Wonkers.

    • The Wanderer

      Have a good day.

  • LarryHoudini

    It’s 9/11!!! Ha ha, silly me, I wondered why Ruddy Giuliani had climbed down the chimney and was screaming at my wife that ALL lives mattered.
    ROT IN HELL, OSAMA, JESUS AND AMERICA #1

    • The Wanderer

      That does it. I don’t care if it is 90 degrees outside, I’m building a fire in the fireplace just in case Rudy G. tries to come down my chimney.

      • mancityfooty .

        *cocks shotgun full of votes*

    • Ezio
      • BosGrl

        So Rudi is OK with ISIS beheading people and throwing them off buildings? After all, they are at war with anyone who isn’t ISIS.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Golly, wouldn’t it be nice if the press would ask him that very question?
          HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
          Sorry, I’ll show myself out.

          • eddi

            Hey, don’t leave yet.

        • revenant

          no, silly, he meant there are no rules for us. say, just which side are you on?

      • Pinkham’s Law
      • Basket of Vagendas

        And he’s being considered for the Homeland Security job (you know, the one he vetted Bernie Kerik for while ol’ Bern was boffing his mistresses in the pad overlooking the site which was supposed to be for first responders).

        And they consider anyone they accuse of terrorism an enemy combatant. Forget the Geneva Convention. There goes the Bill of Rights and the freaking Magna Carta.

  • Ezio

    In honour of out fallen heroes…FREE FRIES!? There are people who lost their lives and some of the first responders still suffer diseases and whatnot caused by what happened and they think free fries are going to help!?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      No, they think free fries are going to bring more people into their restaurants and those people will spend lots of money. You know, crass American capitalism at its finest.

      • Christine Whitman just said “she’s sorry” for lying about the safety of the air at the site. Fucking SORRY? Another candidate for the Hague IMO.
        People are still suffering and dying daily. Disgusting.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I simply cannot understand how ANYONE could have said, with a straight face, that there was no danger from the air at Ground Zero. You could look at the yellow dust on people’s faces and bodies after the collapse of the towers and see that there was going to be a lot of deadly stuff mixed in there.

          • Absolutely.

          • malsperanza

            The smell of burning plastic, and the fumes, permeated the whole city for weeks. Friends downwind in Brooklyn had their homes coated in a thick layer of toxic dust. I brought my industrial vapor mask, used for printmaking, to the barrier at 14th Street, where donations for the volunteers were being collected. I hope someone used it.

          • Basket of Vagendas

            It was greasy, and it stuck to everything, and I was sneezing black for days after I went down there. Nobody could have believed it who wasn’t terrified and desperate to believe they could trust their own government.

            Whitman certainly had no reason to, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t.

          • I beg to disagree. She was appointed by GWB and did their (Cheney’s) bidding.
            I haven’t trusted the “government” since JFK was murdered in broad daylight. That was the first time I saw people on the street crying openly. Not the last time, unfortunately.
            I live at the other end of NYS but I can’t see anything re the towers without becoming very angry. It hurts my heart.

          • Basket of Vagendas

            You’re not, I don’t think, disagreeing. I think she knew, or should have, and did what her administration thought was best for the economy.

          • Maybe I misread your noncomment. At this point I can hide my own easter basket. : )

        • kareemachan

          AND the repubs declined to help people out who were sick because of working in that contaminated environment. Fuckers.

          • Yep and they smeared Max Cleland, a triple amputee from “Nam, because he wanted the language in the “Patriot” Act changed to protect the first responders. Called him un-American and unpatriotic. Slime.

            The ink was dry on that Act long before 9-11. They just needed the provocation and they got it in spades.

  • The Wanderer

    I thank you all for not posting any of the insipid, cloyingly sentimental C&W horse farts from Toby Keith that were written after Black Tuesday. Made the morning a lot easier to stomach.

    • (((cynmac)))

      Like that masterpiece “Red Solo Cup?
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKZqGJONH68

      • The Wanderer

        Where’s my aluminum Barking Sushi Bat?

        • eddi

          This may be appropriate.

          Published on Jul 5, 2013From the New York Philharmonic’s “Young People’s Concerts” television series.
          Ep. 2 “What is American Music?”
          Original broadcast February 1st, 1958
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgj7_DmgDqs

          • Thank you.

          • eddi

            You’re welcome.

          • malsperanza

            On October 9, 2001, the Cincinnati Symphony was booked at Carnegie Hall to perform Benjamin Britten’s extraordinary “War Requiem,” with full choir. I had bought tickets months earlier because it is very rarely performed. The house was full, and I’m sure the execution was excellent, but all I remember is that the audience and musicians wept throughout the entire evening.

  • Brazilian Fart Porn

    The little hands disturb me.

  • Courser

    OT: in the good news department, my friend who needed a heart transplant got his heart yesterday. All reports say he’s doing well. Prayers & thoughts for him and his partner are appreciated.

    • mancityfooty .

      yes, crossed fingers and knocks on wood coming their way

    • John Smith

      Good luck to your friend.

    • eddi

      Sending out those positive waves.

    • Ezio

      Sending you good vibrations.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, now, there’s a cheery bit o’ news. Good on him!

    • Gorillionaire

      I am past the four year mark on my bilateral lung transplant. The science has improved vastly in these years and your friend has an excellent chance for a happy life. With good health habits and discipline your friend can look forward to many years ahead. Wish you the best.

      • Courser

        Right back atcha!

      • SadDemInTex

        Holy heck, that is amazing. I believe in organ donation!

  • malsperanza

    These postcards used to be sold in Chinatown. They have always fascinated me. Not exactly awful, but just very strange.

    • BadKitty904

      That is…odd.

  • TJ Barke

    OT: Amy Goodman has a warrant for arrest because she covered that South Dakota pipeline clusterfuck.
    https://thinkprogress.org/arrest-warrant-issued-for-journalist-after-covering-dakota-access-pipeline-protests-95770fac4372#.8mzi4gfnd

    • revenant

      This land is Our land…where corporate crime is not the problem, protesting corporate crime and reporting corporate crime, that is the problem

      • TJ Barke

        See also: Ag gag laws.

        • revenant

          Land of the Free, baby, Land of the Free…

          • eddi

            And home of the brave. At least some of them.

    • Panika MCD

      that’s horse shit.

    • malsperanza

      She collects those. Her den is wallpapered with them.

      • TJ Barke

        A bold choice.

    • snark-lurker

      NO SHIT?!!! Whomevah serves that warrent is in for 1 hell of a life-changing…unles they read/listen to n like Democracy Now!

    • kareemachan

      There was a pearl-clutcher on another website totally outraged that she trespassed on that land. Compared it to someone breaking into your house, and oh, the faux outrage!

      It was funny.

      • TJ Barke

        What a tool.

  • HOW NOT TO MEMORIALIZE 9/11
    LESSON 1: Bad Tattoo

    • Ezio

      I don’t like tattoos for the simple fact that you’re putting something on your body that will never come off, but that is just embarrassing and disrespectful.

      • snark-lurker

        some human tat-mats are mental in some way, and them that ain’t, i “get it”.
        either way, i got nuttin on me cause i just donut givadamshit…just gettin thru today is the only thing to me, and it is time-consuming!

      • BosGrl

        Plus, if he has a boyfriend, that does not seem conducive to maintaining sexxytimes.

    • RELATED

      Not Terrorist, but . . . Rodan?

      • eddi

        Phoenix I’m willing to bet. Not as bad as a lot I’ve seen.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Credit where it’s due – he went all in. That had to cost $$$, because that’s some pretty damn good work. Talented artists ain’t cheap, and that’s a BIG tat.

        • kareemachan

          Agreed. It’s not cringe-worthy like the one above.

          BUT, still, no. Just no.

    • Basket of Vagendas

      Hoookay. First of all, both Tower 7 and the WFC were behind the towers, unless this was meant as an impressionistic view from uptown, in which case they’re on the wrong sides. And Tower 2 in no way resembled an erect penis.

      • malsperanza

        Also, poor Bill Watterson.

      • eddi

        Serious needle abuse there.

  • going4baroque

    Hillary Clinton Reportedly Nearly Faints at 9/11 Ceremony at Ground Zero

    http://www.people.com/article/hillary-clinton-donald-trump-attend-911-ceremony-15-anniversary

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      That should be good for another million days of election stories.

      • eddi

        Right on to her re-election campaign.

    • Panika MCD

      NPR said she didn’t faint, but got overheated and cooled off at Chelsea’s apt. don’t know what’s going on with that. maybe the only pants suit that was clean and available was made out of wool?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        The picture that I saw of her showed her absolutely surrounded by people standing so close to her it’s no wonder she got overheated. I’m just glad she got out of there before she actually fainted – we’d never, ever, ever have heard the end of that. Of course, we’re unlikely to actually hear the end of this anyway. :(

      • ltmcdies

        which is basic first aid for heat exhaustion (I do know this shit) get out of the heat in a cool place …like an air conditioned apartment.

        separating this from a “medical emergency” (go fuck yourself FOX News) in which one would go to an ER …with doctors and equipment and stuff

        Or is the suggestion Chelsey has an ER in the guest bedroom

      • going4baroque

        the reports are saying it is a warm and humid day, and Hillary seemed to be wearing clothes that would only add to the heat – there is a video where she appears to totally faint or collapse and is helped bodily into the suv, people who love to hate in this comments section seem to believe I posted news of the even with joy or exuberance. Those first responders are dead wrong, but what can you do. (mutually blocking is a good plan) The latest news is she feels fine or feels great, something like that, and that is all to the good

        • Panika MCD

          just remember that no matter what people are reporting, the NY Daily News got its FOIA request honored and found that Trumple pocketed the whole $150 thousand he received as a “small business tycoon” to “recover from 9/11”.

          • going4baroque

            oh yeah, I’m sure there’s lots of nefarious news that will continue to be reported on Trump’s misdeeds, but that does not dishearten me, I am not a Trump supporter, altho I think he did the nation a great favor by virtually destroying the Republican party as we have known and despised it. I was a Bernie Sanders supporter and still support his positions on all things political and legislative and societal.
            I do not wish or applaud misfortune for anyone. I hope Hillary recovers fully, and also hope that it was just a matter of becoming overheated. With a history of two dvt’s (deep vein thrombosis, or “blood clots”), however, I’m sure her physician will highly recommend diagnostic tests to rule out that possibility, however remote.

          • Panika MCD

            she was overheated and it was partially that she is recovering from pneumonia. so she’s doing pretty good already being recovered.

            I’d caution you against saying that you support all of Bernie’s positions on EVERYTHING. that could get you into a few internet wars that you may not want because there are some positions of his that are pretty stupid. the only person you should ever be agreeing with on 100% of anything is yourself.

          • going4baroque

            thanks the concern re: being a Sanders supporter. I disagree re your assessment that some of Bernie’s positions are stupid. That is just not true. Hillary adopted just about every one of Bernie’s ideas, or fashioned her own modeled on Bernie’s proposals. Hillary is, as you might have noticed, not one to originate a plan, but to go along with whatever is popular, or as she calls it, “evolving”. She evolved mightily in migrating to Bernie’s view on many issues. Hillary’s pneumonia could very well be aspiration pneumonia which is caused by swallowing difficulty, which may be the cause of her coughing, rather than allergy. That might explain the coughing, and the subsequent pneumonia. Difficulty swallowing, if that is what caused the pneumonia, if it is aspiration pneumonia, which is treated with antibiotics, would explain the coughing without other attendant allergy signs. Difficulty swallowing is a symptom of something else that her physician is likely treating. That’s my guess.

          • Panika MCD

            great: so you are on record as being for creating school vouchers for higher education, making loopholes so that gun manufactureres can’t be held liable for knowingly supplying gun traffickers and poisoning people on the TX border with radiation!

            have you ever considered that HRC has been on top of universal healthcare for much longer than your St. Bern who threatened to vote against CHIP unless he got a cookie and a bedtime story and only came to HER position later? it’s also that way with his position on gender equality and LGBTQ people getting married since his vote against DOMA was based on “states rights” (gotta love that) and he made that perfectly clear to his voters by opposing gay marriage in his own state in 2006.

            I guess you’ve evolved too! oh, shit! you don’t like that idea very much because you seem to think it’s slanderous.

            maybe you should stop trying to diagnose HRC via intrablag comments section, talk to a therapist about how to quit believing the bullshit you’ve been fed your entire adult life and find a new fucking hobby.

          • going4baroque

            I’ve spent my adult life in the medical field. I’m not relying on anything but my experience. Otherwise, I see we’ve reached the point where an intelligent conversation is no longer possible. Au revoir

          • Panika MCD

            that’s because you’re eating your own words for blindly supporting everything Bernie says or does.

            by the way, since you made it so clear that you support him not just on policy, but in ALL OF THE THINGS: you recommend living off your first wife until she boots your lazy ass and not ever paying child support? how PRO-GRESSIVE! not voting until you run for office yourself? REVOLUTIONARY! paying your family hundreds of thousands out of campaign funds for decades? SO TRANSPARENTLY FOR TEH PEOPLE! AND BIRDS!

            and if you truly were a professional in any medical field you would know better than to diagnose someone via B roll. so I’m going to guess that you are either a security guard at a medical clinic or are otherwise full of shit on that one. bravo!

          • going4baroque

            I didn’t diagnose. I said IF it is aspiration pneumonia, and IF then there is a CAUSE that is not viral or bacterial in origin. (Aspirated material can turn into bacterial pneumonia, fyi) Medical science. And re: supporting Bernie, I said I supported his policy positions in policy, legislative and societal – not interpersonal or marital, I finished med school and specialized in psychiatry, and no, you won’t find me in yelp under going4baroque M.D. Have a nice day

          • going4baroque

            I’m not really a doctor. I played one today on the internet. You are correct in everything. I withdraw

    • Beowoof14

      Maybe it’s the Bulletproof Vest she has to wear because of asshole Trump supporters.

    • Treg Brown

      Bush 1 demonstrates the presidential way to be ill in public.

      ETA: Barbara Bush has forearms the size of a blacksmiths.

      https://youtu.be/XnOnDatqENo

      • going4baroque

        http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/clinton-says-im-feeling-great-had-left-9-11-event-early/ar-AAiLvEu?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=DELLDHP

        A senior law enforcement official who was briefed on the matter said that after leaving the memorial plaza, Clinton was observed “fainting” in a departure area. That official spoke on condition of anonymity, because he wasn’t authorized to disclose information publicly.

        Video taken at the scene and posted on social media shows Clinton being held up by three people. She staggers and appears to trip on a curb as they help her into a vehicle.

        • Treg Brown

          Once again, your concern is touching. I’ll bet you were all over the vomiting episode, and St Ronnie’s dementia right?

          “He was immediately surrounded by secret service, dignitaries, and his wife. All four were needed to support the staggering president, and aids rushed medical treatment.

          I can do this all day.

          • going4baroque

            living in the past much?

          • Treg Brown

            LOL. And now you’re just a blocked asshole.

          • going4baroque

            ditto, asshole

          • tehbaddr

            Hey haven’t you been ban hammered yet?

          • BadKitty904

        • MynameisBlarney

          Your concern is duly noted.

          • revenant

            and discounted

          • eddi

            And dismissed. With sneers yet.

        • BosGrl

          Honestly I would take Hillary like the Face of Boe before a 100% healthy Drumpf.

      • BadKitty904

        She ain’t known as “the Silver Ox” for nuthin’…

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Then Barbara turned to the black SS agent and said, “Boy? Clean that mess up!”

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    What I remember most about the days after 9/11 were the absence of airplane noises (never realized how many went over my house until there weren’t any) and television ads. For months and months after the tragedy I would turn the t.v. on in the morning, and if there was an ad playing, turn it off, reassured that the other shoe hadn’t dropped. I remember the feeling of waiting for what happened next, lasting for weeks. Living in KY I wasn’t affected by the events as so many of you were, i.e. having family or friends whose lives I feared for, or connections to the affected areas. But in flyover country, this is what it was like, just for me.

    • Vagandarian the Librarian!

      I, too, am in a state far, far away, but I was watching the super early morning news and the first plane had already hit. Then I watched in horror as the second plane hit. I had colleagues and a friend that lived in the city and I was really scared for them. Fortunately, I didn’t lose anyone.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        My cousin lives in NJ and did then, too, but even though I’m not entirely aware of NJ geography, I did understand that it was a big place and she was unlikely to have been directly affected unless she’d happened to go into the city that day. And she was fine.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Snark Off. I listened to NPR this morning where one person described the horror of the smoke, dust, dirt, along with losing his business partner in the WTC. But as horrible as it was I sat there and said that there are people who go through that every day–every fucking day–in Syria and elsewhere. Every day they eat dust and dirt from black tornadic winds caused by bombs and fires. Every day not only business partners but their own children are destroyed. I’m not anti-marking 9/11 but it needs to be put into the perspective of what is happening in this world every day, some of which is caused by our own hands.

    We now return you to your original snarkiness.

    • John Smith

      As I said in another reply, those people are brown.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Bombing in Paris kills 40.
        “OMG, OMG! It’s the worst thing to ever happen in the history of man!”
        Bombing in Istanbul kills 100.
        “So?”

        • Chlorine bombing in Aleppo kills thousands.
          “Well, the bomber is a SECULAR dictator, and some of the dead said Allahu Akbar so their children probably deserved it.”

    • mancityfooty .

      it only matters if it happens here

    • malsperanza

      And for what it’s worth, this has always been a narrative told by New Yorkers, who perhaps alone among Americans know what it’s like to take aerial bombardment. The city turned out in force to oppose the Iraq war – 500,000 people marched to protest the Republican convention in 2004. The farther one gets from the event, geographically, the easier it is to turn it into some generic symbol.

      That fall, a Bush-Cheney voter in suburban Pennsylvania declared to me, without irony, that New Yorkers just didn’t understand the true danger of terrorism. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to committing assault.

      • mancityfooty .
        • revenant

          silly mancityfooty, that happened a long time ago, to black people, and racism is over now, Herr Drumpf even went to Detroit and inside one of those people’s churches and everything. do i have to explain, like, everything to you?

        • malsperanza

          Very true.

      • Sedagive

        Yes indeed: we marched, and marched, and marched some more. Hundreds and thousands of us through the streets of New York City. We marched against the war, and against the emerging agenda. Such terrible times, but those huge, beautiful rallies restored my faith that America hadn’t completely lost its collective mind.

        I was a Billionaire for Bush: best protest ever.

        • malsperanza

          Code Pink?

          • Sedagive

            No – I was never a member of Code Pink, just a random, dedicated agitator.

            : )

  • Panika MCD

    there was a kid at school (I was a senior in HS at the time) who had been talking about his b-day for like 2 weeks when this happened. worst. birthday. ever.

  • msanthropesmr

    You know, I was going to make some comment but instead, I’ll just leave the immortal words of bill and Ted. Be excellent to each other today.

    • mancityfooty .

      this, right there

  • MynameisBlarney
    • mancityfooty .
    • TJ Barke
      • mancityfooty .

        dude, if you keep up like this I’m gonna adopt you as my spirit animal

        • TJ Barke

          What’s the annual salary?

          • mancityfooty .

            kisses and hugs, baby, kisses and hugs
            and a quart of malt liquor every week.

          • TJ Barke

          • mancityfooty .

            like you’re gonna get a better offer
            *followed*

          • TJ Barke

            Creepy bastard.

          • mancityfooty .

            aww, why you gotta hurt me like that?

          • TJ Barke

            Hedgehog’s dilemma.

          • mancityfooty .

            I like what you say and I’d like to sign up for your newsletter

          • TJ Barke

            Too much work.

    • Panika MCD

      yeah, I saw that. fun times. but they’ll be focusing more on HRC being overheated at the memorial service.

      • Shibusa

        Just saw the vid. It didn’t look good.

        • eddi

          Coming down with something? Or just a bad taco?

    • nightmoth

      So Trump helped nobody and did nothing in response to 9-11, but still claimed reimbursement funds? Huh. Color me NOT surprised.

    • revenant

      but this is not a story, but Hillary had a frog in her throat a week ago, now there’s a story

    • BadKitty904

      Explain to me again, please, why this traitorous criminal is not in prison?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Because, money.

        • BadKitty904

          Ugh.

    • Beaumarchais?

      I had just started a two week vacation on the Cape that morning. Needless to say, it sucked. By Trump’s logic, I should have been reimbursed for having to hear about all those other people’s pain and suffering.

  • msanthropesmr

    OT. But this am I was working out ad watching the teevee at the gym. Man there are a lot of ugly dudes that are newscasters. And all the women are conventionally attractive. Why do women even bother with men at this point?

    • MynameisBlarney
    • mancityfooty .

      who are they gonna make sandwiches for?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Seriously though, it’s all part of the Vagenda.

    • Loki1001

      That’s because (news) casting directors are (mostly) men. And male news anchors do not get cast for sexiness, they get cast for being fatherly (either stern fatherly or loving fatherly).

      But if you want to see it graphically, here’s the cast of SNL last year:

      https://i2.wp.com/www.nbc.com/sites/nbcunbc/files/files/images/2014/11/25/SNL2014-15_Cast_Photo_1920x1080.jpg

      There are almost twice as many men as women. Out of the six women, four of them easily could play the “sexy woman” in a sketch (and have, in fact, sometimes all at once). Of men, none of them are sexy, and only two to three are even conventionally attractive.

      • msanthropesmr

        Oh, I know why my question is more why haven’t women gone all Lysistrata on our asses a long time ago.

        • BadKitty904

          I’ve REPEATEDLY said that’s how Republican women should respond to the GOP’s continuous misogyny.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Just speaking for myself, and myself ONLY, I’m not always attracted to a man for his looks. Usually it’s more complex than that. We are wired differently, I believe; I know there have been studies done that show that men are more responsive to looks than women are in general. Give me a man who is tender with a baby and I’ll fall in love with him inside of two minutes, regardless of his appearance!!

          • msanthropesmr

            Good think too, as I sit here in the restaurant after spilling mist of my lunch on my lap. Although I don’t need to attract anyone, or MsAnthrope would kill me

          • BadKitty904

            “On you, it looks good.”

          • msanthropesmr

            Thanks. It doesn’t. I am a slob. Or as MsAnthrope likes to say “Wipe the sweet-tarts out of your beard and you’ve got a deal” To which I say “Don’t try to change me, baby”/

        • cosmiccowgirl

          Because women have internalized sexism just as much as men have unfortunately.

        • Shan

          Because we like sex, too? And maybe don’t want to treat our partners like children who are having a toy taken away? Just a couple of random guesses…

      • revenant

        and this, if memory is not playing me false, is one of the most diverse casts they’ve ever had

        • Loki1001

          Yes, it is. Having five black people is pretty unprecedented in SNL history.

    • BadKitty904

      We homos have wondered for centuries exactly what it is that women see in str8 men…

      • Loki1001

        Well there’s always SC and CF…

      • eddi

        A steady paycheck. ??

        • BadKitty904

          OK, you’re on your own on this ‘un, bubba…

          • eddi

            My cynicism knows few bounds. But I am willing to own it. Unlike some orange orangs.

      • Señor Skwerl

        I’ve never understood it, but they seem to flock to me, and I am a fat, bald older man. If I could take a wild guess, I would say it has something to do with my ratty flannel shirt collection or the long hairs that grow on my ears,

      • mancityfooty .

        *looks at self*
        so do I

  • Courser

    I think we need to keep a couple of things in mind here. We have plenty of crappy art in the Denver Metro to commemorate 7/20 the Aurora Theater Shooting. Most of it incorporates Batman and the Century 21 sign.

    While it’s all well and good to mock bad 9/11 art, please keep in mind that many of the images weren’t created for us. They were created by and for the people it speaks to. It includes elements that seem silly, improbably or ridiculous, like the crying eagle. Some of us feel that these images cheapen the the event or are overly maudlin. So mocking is allowed, but do keep in mind that outside of the blatantly self-serving/commercial ones, it has meaning for someone.

    • BosGrl

      I could understand Batman but why Century 21?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Isn’t that the name of the theatre? I seem to remember that.

        • Courser

          Yup, the shooting took place in the Century 21 Theaters in Aurora

      • Basket of Vagendas

        There’s a poular store across the street from the site called Century 21. It’s sort of a slightly more upscale Loehmann’s or Filene’s Basement.

        • Courser

          Almost but not quite. It was the site of the shooting, Century 21 Theater.

        • BosGrl

          I miss both of those stores a LOT.

  • Sedagive

    My husband worked at the World Trade Center complex. On 9/11 he did something a bit unusual: he slacked off and went into work late because “The In-Laws” was on TV. Had he gone to work as usual he would have been there when the towers fell; as it was, he was on the first train stopped at Jersey City.

    To this day he thinks that Alan Arkin may well have saved his life.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      OMG. That was my dad’s favorite movie but I never would have believed it would actually save a life. Thank heavens it did for your husband!

      • Sedagive

        To this day we yell “serpentine” at random moments.

        • mancityfooty .

          wait, I thought that was just MST fans
          colour me surprised

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          My son will do that, and we laugh like fools. But that was my dad’s favorite part!

          • doktorzoom

            That’s EVERYONE’s favorite part!

        • Death Rocks From Space

          Me too, me too!

          • ViveLaTacoTruck

            An hour ago I was out in the yard, moved a planter, and a couple of bugs ran off into the grass. Two lizards sitting on the trellis jumped down and started chasing the bugs. I instinctively yelled “Serpentine! Serpentine!”

    • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

      I know somebody too that was running late (had to take daughters to school, if I remember, because mom or nanny was sick) else they would have been in the towers. And my sister was on her way downtown also running late. So many close calls and luck. All of those people that died in a horrible way that day, it’s so sad they were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        One of my son’s school friends (he was in school in Maine at the time) had a father who worked in the towers; he’d stayed home that day just because he had a bad feeling. I don’t normally believe in premonition and such, but unless the guy was making it up after the fact and had stayed home to bang his wife or because he had the shits, it’s hard to argue with the outcome.

        • eddi

          Strange things do happen.

        • Regret

          If outcome is all it takes to be believable just make as many claims as possible. One of them is bound to stick.

    • JD Mulvey

      Whew… I’m glad it was the Peter Falk/Alan Arkin one. The Michael Douglas/Albert Brooks remake had me ready to leap from a window.

      • JD Mulvey

        Yes, I hate myself for ^this^ post.

    • The Wanderer

      Alan Arkin has that effect on people.

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    So, y’all should read this Guardian article on Hillary after 9/11. She doesn’t get much of the mainstream media credit she deserves, and in the meantime Trump and Bush get to coast on their terrible reactions to the tragedy.

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/sep/09/hillary-clinton-9-11-attacks-response

    • SeekingBarbie

      Thank you.

    • BadKitty904

      It’s that darned “liberal” media again. But, then again, women’s actions/statements don’t really count, amiright?

      • mancityfooty .

        where’s my sammich?

        • eddi

          Intercepted!!

          • mancityfooty .

            you son ofa
            Imma take you down son

    • eddi

      Clinton is the real thing. All the phony accusations won’t change that.

    • bobbert

      And even the Guardian has to finish the article by reflecting on her vote for the AUMF.

      • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

        Well, yeah. Although I read that as being more understandable in the light of what she’d just witnessed.

        • Courser

          Having lived through that time as an adult, I think it’s really easy to look back and see how bad of a decision that was. While personally, I was against the war because I thought the WMD was trumped up. W really just felt a personal need to finish Daddy’s war. Between that and Cheney, whose own interest in taking Iraq for Halliberton, his own company, should have eliminated him from having any influence in the decision, it was a very hard push to the American people. People were were reeling from the unprecedented attack on the homeland.

  • BadKitty904

    Semi-OT: Speaking of making a buck at all costs:

    Employer of Pulse nightclub killer fined $151,400 for false psychological forms
    http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/pulse-orlando-nightclub-shooting/fl-orlando-shooting-fine-20160909-story.html

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Okay, I’m calling bullshit on the “clerical error” that listed a retired psychologist on a form, and bullshit on the claim that someone else actually did do a required test on that guy. I hope the families and survivors sue this company right out of business.

      • BadKitty904

        Amen, in re” sue” – “$150K” isn’t gonna cut it, boys…

        • eddi

          They pencil-whipped psych evaluations on 1500 gun-toters. That should cost them some local business. I wonder how many security companies do the same?
          Question on the job application; “Have you shot anyone in the last 48 hours?”

          • BadKitty904

            That also makes me wonder who, exactly, is responsible for verifying these psych-forms?

          • eddi

            Want to bet some overworked secretary at the police headquarters? Who is only supposed to stamp and file. Then if something goes wrong, they can blame the source.

          • BadKitty904

            Scapegoats are cheaper than Doing-the-Job-Right.

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      Can’t spend too much on a twelve dollar an hour armed guard.

      • BadKitty904

        They sure as heck will now.

  • Fartknocker

    Mrs. Fartknocker asked me if I wanted to do anything to commemorate September 11th since I worked the pile for 10 days as one of the USAR hazardous materials specialist two weeks after the attack. I told her that I just wanted a couple of breakfast tacos, some quiet time with her at our park, and something funny since this day inflames my hatred of Wolfowitz, Chaney, and that prick Rumsfeld. I don’t know how she finds this stuff on the interwebs but I bring you the clitoris alarm clock PSA. I hope it makes you laugh.

    http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhfkr6FfRH7x1WjPd7

    • mancityfooty .

      not enough upfists for you
      I wish I could do more

    • eddi

      Like…

  • 3FingerPete

    Sure, everybody focuses on eagles. It’s always about eagles. Well, the rest of America’s fauna have feelings too, ya know.

    • Amy!

      Duck!

      • The Wanderer

        Goose!

        • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

          Here’s a picture I took this afternoon of a mom goose and her goslings. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/def839ef3b368ccbc697d21fc6f425ac22b46ee205154f0cf100da03592c3cfc.jpg

          Why Disqus has decided to load it upside-down, who can say?

          • The Wanderer

            Spidergoose!

          • mancityfooty .
          • Basket of Vagendas

            Does whatever a spidergoose does.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            OT, but how do you get words under your pictures?

          • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

            It seems to depend on how you load the image. If I drag-n-drop or use my iPhone, it posts a link, and then you can edit under the link. But if you click the photo icon and select a photo that way, it auto-posts at the bottom of the comment. In other words, it’s a mystery, but sort of predictable.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Hmmm. That’s interesting. I may have to try that because usually what I do is post a picture, then reply to myself. But I’m A Old, and A Somewhat Stupid.

          • Basket of Vagendas

            I’m not 100% certain, but where it goes if you click the photo icon seems to have to do with where the cursor is?

          • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

            Huh, perhaps. Worth a test.

          • Treg Brown

            Wait. You live in Australia?

          • shastakoala

            Aw, the crafty and rarely seen Bat Goose.

          • natoslug

            I’m always impressed by the way birds have no fucks to give about gravity. If that were me, all the blood would have rushed to my head, making me pass out before I fell off the planet.

          • vivian

            Are you in China?

            ETA: oops , shoulda read down first

        • 9/11john

          Squirrel!

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        …duck, goose!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      “How much wood would a woodchu . . . ” “AFLAC!!!!”

      • revenant

        a joke from “Doctor Katz, Professional Therapist”
        “Knock knock”
        “Who’s there?”
        “Interrupting Cow”
        Interrupting”“MOO!”

    • I’ma get me a face tattoo of the flag jus like that. Can you tattoo yo eyelied?

      • eddi

        Unfortunately, yes.

  • Tacotruckjohn
  • Vagenda Shark
  • nightmoth

    My husband looked at these examples of 9-11 kitsch art and had some good observations: that these are bad because they are NOT linked to genuine emotion but to sentiment. Emotion is a strong and immediate response to an act and sentiment is the attitude that develops later in response to the emotion. Strong emotion stuns you for awhile, and makes you go inside yourself. Sentiment is the attitude chosen in response to that emotion: it is manufactured. These examples of “bad art” are “bad” precisely because they do not show genuine grief, but instead rely on a shallow trope of patriotism that makes people want war and revenge.

    • The Wanderer

      Mr. Nightmoth gets an upfist.

    • Basket of Vagendas

      Mr nightmoth is wise.

      • nightmoth

        :-D

    • BadKitty904

      A valid distinction, remarkably well put.

      • Vernicegghalusha1

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ri497f:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !ri497f:
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    • Courser

      Excellent observation that explains a lot. Because some of this stuff feels like a gut punch, not… helpful or healing.

    • taco truck vagenda

      You know, I could be that insightful if I wanted to be. pffttt

      Seriously though, that’s some nice critical thinking.

      • SeekingBarbie

        All morning as I read the comments I was trying to sort out my own feelings and wondering if I was just being elitist in finding the kitsch unsavory. This explanation put that into perspective.

    • Little Lulu

      Maybe “sentimentality”, rather than “sentiment”, is what your husband is thinking of. Sentiment implies the presence of real emotion; sentimentality is a kind of shallow or superficial sentiment.

    • CripesAmighty

      Mawkish, maudlin, simpering sentimentality. Nobody does it better.

  • mancityfooty .

    the snark is a lot easier if I do it whilst thinking in the brain cells of one Early Cuyler
    https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/569167173017669633/WrJlwoFA.jpeg
    yeah, you know what I’m talkin about

  • Rick Hill

    Since we’re talking about art, tasteless at that, I need a photoshop genius to perform a commission for me. I want to have trump’s face put on a mean girl, maybe with something saying how he is America’s number one mean girl. I’ve got plenty of exposure bucks left over from a few projects I did, I’m not going to haggle if it’;s good work. Any takers?

    • Rick Hill

      I found this, it would be great to have trump, pence and Ivanka put in. Thanks in advance

      • mancityfooty .

        I’ll be in my bunker

      • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

        Remind me tomorrow and I’ll squeeze it in to my schedule. For eleventy exposure bucks. A real steal!

        • Rick Hill

          Done

          • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

            I didn’t forget and spent a bit of time on this. Then my cat came and somehow managed to corrupt the entire document, so my work was lost. I’ll try again tomorrow.

          • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)
          • Rick Hill

            Woho! You are way too awesome. The essposure bucks will be in a plain brown bag, left on your stoop. Now can you rework the Deplorables poster the rightwingers came out with? Add a few hoods, burning crosses, a smidge of Naziness, jst enough to bring out the color in donald’s cheeks. I’ll pay you double, I promise. I’ll also include a handy guide for how to tell when Rick Hill is joking but he still says Thanks!

          • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

            Hehe, it’s an idea at that!

            Glad you like it. I’m looking forward to seeing what you “meme” it into :)

    • M.E. Lawrence

      Maher would, and does, call him a “whiny little bitch.” Given the context, I find this an appropriate description.

    • btwbfdimho

      Mean Girls?

  • Jo Mathie

    Also as a symbol? Eagles are stupid. As someone who once worked in a falconry center with a load of different birds doing displays Cherokee the Bald Eagle was the one that could not follow orders and just had to be coaxed down from a tree all the time. (surprisingly Vultures were the best at human interaction).

    • Blackest Noobs

      As a symbol for Americans, I would say the eagle is fitting.
      Americans too have to be coaxed and way too often at that.

    • BadKitty904

      In re: vultures & humans – “birds of a feather, etc.”

    • The Wanderer

      I still recall the Auburn War Eagle plowing into a window at the stadium one year:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgF6UJ5UgUs

    • taco truck vagenda

      The vultures are just biding their time.

    • TJ Barke

      Should be the crow or some other corvid. Smart as fuck.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Crows are awesome.

        • kareemachan

          Ravens are even more awesome.

          • Ben Franklin proposed the turkey as the national bird. Maybe we would have to eat eagles on Thanksgiving.

          • therblig

            dinoturkey between me and my ride this morning

          • therblig

            dark wings, dark election results

    • Courser

      I’ve heard this from other raptor caretakers I’ve spoken to. The most popular birds that are brought to various events are Red-tail hawks and some of the small owls. They just seem to be more interesting to people. Eagles just sit there and blink at people. And actually we have scads of Bald Eagles around these parts and I think most people prefer to see them that way.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • eddi

      We could take a little off the top.

      • revenant

        and mount that little on the point of a pike

      • The Wanderer

        Crowbar wind chimes?

        • eddi

          Product display. But like your idea better. Although it would take quite a breeze.

  • btwbfdimho

    The other terrorist attack on 9/11/73, against democracy in Chile, with a little help from the Nixon Administration and the US Navy docked at Valparaiso.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZeEfXjTNu4

  • HanBarbara

    Think I’ll watch “Man on a Wire”. That’s how I memorialize 9-11.

  • JMP

    There was also The Amazing Spider-Man vol. 2 #36, Marvel’s official reaction to 9/11 which was just awful, and gets even cheesier as the years go by. The attacks are still treated as uniquely horrible, even though this is a universe with regular alien invasions and supervillain attempts to conquer Earth, and where Washington, an entire city, had just been destroyed by Kang the Conqueror. And Dr. Doom is showing crying at the destruction, even though the only thing that would make him sad is that he wasn’t the one behind it. The whole thing has the quality of these cheesy kitch images, even though it was written, drawn and published by professionals. It’s number four on this list:

    http://www.cracked.com/article_20989_5-disastrous-attempts-at-political-commentary-in-comic-books.html

    • Spotts1701

      I had a conversation with someone this week about how a lot of U.S. media (TV, movies, etc.) from around that time period (2001-2003ish) can be painful to watch today because so much of it felt like the writers and producers were coming from a very raw place.

      • doktorzoom

        The 9/11 episode of The West Wing was preachy at the time, and nearly unwatchable now.

  • Are any of these available as a black light poster? I’ve looked and looked for the order link or my little cart thingee, but to no avail. Y’all aren’t going to sell many of these if you don’t make ordering them easier.

    • HanBarbara

      There is one with Elvis weeping in the background out there somewhere.

      • eddi

        Don’t give them ideas.

    • JD Mulvey

      I want them airbrushed onto my van.

      • That would be cool! It’s sure to be even more of a chick magnet, then. And you could have one of those signs that say, if this van is arockin, don’t come aknockin!” or “Gas, grass, or ass, no one rides for free!”

        • therblig

          tats or nothing!

          • I could do the tear and flag over the eye. That would be cool. Chicks dig patriotic face tattoos.

      • tehbaddr
  • retiredeng

    Look for news reports of people getting warned that they’d be shot for not being proper patriots on 9/11.

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah, we might see that.

  • ViveLaTacoTruck

    I normally hesitate to snark on how people cope with tragedy, especially if I wasn’t there and didn’t know anyone who died…BUT….I don’t get representations of the smoking, flaming towers with Jesus, an eagle, and/or an angel watching over them. All I can think of is “Don’t just sit there looking sad/serene/fierce/angelic….DO SOMETHING.”

    • Aquaria

      That’s kinda the problem with fictional characters. You can make up all the crap you want about them, but they’re still, you know, fictional; ergo, they can’t do a damned thing.

      It’s up to us, always

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Time for some spiritual cleansing. Not many people know that badass character actor Steve Buscemi used to be a NY firefighter, and he joined his old comrades on 9/11 to help out.

    https://www.good.is/articles/steve-buscemi-september-eleventh-fdny?utm_content=inf_10_81_2&utm_source=TSE&utm_medium=FB&utm_campaign=pd&tse_id=INF_a5a45c0077ef11e6b4a837a70f1f52b1

    • BadKitty904

      I saw that a while back and thought it was a great story.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    YOU’RE TEARING ME APART WONKETTE!

    • mancityfooty .

      hold it together, captain
      just another few months

    • TJ Barke

      Oh hai, mark.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Hilarious how a single tweet from fleshlight can make those flags even more phallic-shaped.

  • therblig

    2:15 PM – if you’re lucky enough to have BBC America, the Star Trek TOS marathon (“1966. 79 episodes, about 30 good ones”) is right now showing “The Omega Glory”. Dirty stinking Kohms!

    E Plebneesta!!

    • Courser

      LOL, that’s actually where my SAR group got it’s name from. No shit ;-) (It’s actually a very little-known fact. Most members these days don’t know)

    • tehbaddr

      Imma been binging DS9 ’cause there was talk of it the other day in the not allowed comments. The TOS is always on nerdflix on demand.

      • BosGrl

        Sometimes you just need DS9…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Ken Layne, Ken Layne where do I remember him from?

    “It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again”

    NOOOOO!!! I’ll be good.

    Speaking of, did Reilly ever get part of dead Breitbart’s estate or was that non-sanctioned love? Poor Reilly…

    • mancityfooty .

      still waiting on Hannity to be waterboarded
      tick tock mofo

      • “Handjob” Hannity…..

        • mancityfooty .

          whoah now
          don’t go in whole hog

          • Bububut it’s the only way I know.

          • mancityfooty .

            I like your views

          • mancityfooty .

            one more butt and Imma about to get excited

          • revenant

            “If you’re going on a spree, go the whole hog, including the postage”- the only thing i got out of reading G.I. Gurdjieff

    • JoeChristmas

      Ken Layne: Never Forget Him!!1!

    • tehbaddr

      Almost forgot about Reilly, does he still blog, or is he far to damaged by Breitbarting?

  • M.E. Lawrence

    OMFG, that is the most egregious portfolio I have ever seen, apart from the oeuvre of of the late Mr. Kinkade. Speaking of which, Wonkette may have published this before, but one can never have too much Kinkitsch:

    https://thomaskinkade.com/shop/limited-edition-art/cityscapes/light-of-freedom-the-limited-edition-art/

    Plus, today is Jessica Mitford’s 99th birthday, and think of how much she would have loved Wonkette!

    Lastly, someone please tell these hucksters to stop messing around with images of Haliaeetus leucocephalus, a splendid bird who deserves respectful artistic treatment.

    • therblig

      oddly enough, if you’re looking lady liberty in the face, what you see behind you is Jersey City. And that’s not the JC skyline.

    • The Wanderer

      Yes, the last of the Fabulous Mitford Sisters, and the only one of the trio to go Left while the others went Hard Right.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Boy, hard right is an understatement. Himmler or somebody like that attended the wedding of one of the sisters. The day after England declared war on Germany, she put a bullet in her brain, but instead of killing her right away, it put her into a coma. The Germans shipped her to England (via a roundabout route, of course) to die.

        • revenant

          that was Unity.
          there were six sisters, only two of whom became RWNJs. Nancy was a writer (“Love in a Cold Climate” is worth reading), Deborah became Duchess of Devonshire, Pamela lived quietly and didn’t get involved in politics. The other sister, Diana, married the despicable Oswald Mosley, and was imprisoned during the war, like her husband.
          They had a brother, Tom, who also became a Fascist- he refused to fight against Germany, but volunteered for service against Japan and was killed in Burma.

    • mancityfooty .

      not looking
      and you can’t make me

    • Bitter Scribe

      At first I thought that circular nimbus more or less around the eagle was some sort of weird full-body halo for birds, until I realized it was an authenticity stamp.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    OK, back to whatthefuckery…

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      YGBFKM…

    • The Wanderer

      (sighs)

    • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

      Wait a sec, is that citizen-child preparing to suckle Lady Liberty? Taker! Or kinky! You choose.

    • Stulexington

      The ‘artist’ does realize she’s French right? Like freedomfries cowardly French.

  • I Only Like Cats

    “Thug Life “memorial T-shirts” to remember some shithead gangsta teen who got himself shot” Given the events of the past couple of years, I am the only one who thinks this phrasing should be updated or it’s maybe a little problematic? Just wondering.

    • doktorzoom

      You know, I debated that, but considering that in 2008, Ken was talking about actual gangbanging gangbangers who thought thug life was the life, until it wasn’t, decided to leave it as is. I’m not devoted to keeping it for next year, though.

      • I Only Like Cats

        It’s just a little outdated, methinks.

        • Basket of Vagendas

          Sadly, not so much. The kid’s roommate is from the South Brooklyn projects and she says it happens kind of a lot.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I meant the wording. Considering all the racism from the justice system that’s been revealed the last few years, as well as the connotations now associated with “thug” and “gangbanger”, it’s just… it doesn’t send out the best message.

          • Basket of Vagendas

            Oh, sorry. Me being dense.

      • Sister Artemis

        my humble opinion: leave it in, asterisk it with footnote about the (mild) debate of including it or not. I’m never an advocate of changing someone’s writing when publishing or quoting from something written in the past (current-publication editorial decisions are different) but sometimes just referencing the controversy over something like this contributes more than just including or deleting the particular statement.

  • mancityfooty .
  • Be Gin

    I came to wonkette today for some snark and all I end up with is a toasted american cheese sandwich on white bread!

    Thanks Obama!

    • mancityfooty .

      stop making me hungry

    • tehbaddr

      You should really go with pumpernickel, make for much tasty, so better!

      • mancityfooty .

        whole wheat libelz!!111!!!

    • SeekingBarbie

      Grilled cheddar on multi-grain with sliced tomatoes and fire-roasted green chiles is what you deserve.

      • tehbaddr

        You fancy!

      • Sister Artemis

        And if you’re not a green-chiles kind of Be-Ginner, I recommend a little stone ground mustard as a substitute. Works wonderfully with the cheddar.

    • handyhippie65

      what’s wrong with a cheese toastie? that’s what i ate for lunch.

      • Be Gin

        Nothing wrong with good clean cheese.

        But the cheese in this article has been smeared onto paper, plastic, t-shirts and skin.

        Would you eat cheese after it has been smeared on some guys skin?

        Yuck-O

        • handyhippie65

          in the past, i have been homeless and hungry. you would be amazed, or possibly appalled by the things i have eaten in my life. every furry critter you can think of, outside of cats, and dogs has been in the pot, or on a spit at one time or another. after roasted rat on a stick, what’s a little nasty cheese?

  • Mahousu

    I saw this one someplace or other. I suspect it’s a little too self-consciously ironic to count, though.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Now that’s weird.

  • Madmoh

    Crying chickens?

    • tehbaddr

      THEMS FREEDUM CHICKUNS YOU PINKO COMMIE MUSLIN LIBTART!!!11111!!!

  • mancityfooty .
  • Mahousu

    This is Liberian legal tender, so you know it’s legit.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF3mzTpFCrU

    • BosGrl

      Those Liberians must have some big ass wallets.

    • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

      Ooh, pure silver leaf! In other words, silver-plated with the thinnest possible coating. I’m betting if you breathe on that thing and the silver is liable to flake off.

      • Mahousu

        Hey, it’s legal tender, worth 20 dollars!

        20 Liberian dollars, that is, or in other words, about 22 cents.

  • Rick Hill

    So, a new one on me but it seems that because of Oobaaamaaa the UN is taking over the internet sometime in October.
    I have nothing else to say about that

    • in the name of the moon

      I’ve often wondered why the UN is so slow in its World Conquest. I mean, after all these years they are only going after the interwebs? And after the Internet has been around so long? Wouldn’t it have made moar sense to move before everyone and their parakeet uses the Internet? Of course, the *really* slow ones are the Illuminati. C’mon does it take 250 years to do this thing?! Git ‘er done, already!

      • Bitter Scribe

        The black helicopters keep breaking down. And do you have any idea how much work it is to keep those blue helmets polished?

        • Rick Hill

          They have to keep drawing up new plans because Beck and Jones blow their cover

  • mancityfooty .
  • Rick Hill

    Ot. Right at this berry moment a cute live actual bear is playing around in a stream up in Alaska
    http://explore.org/live-cams/player/brown-bear-salmon-cam-brooks-falls

  • mancityfooty .
  • mancityfooty .
  • tehbaddr

    Here’s the fuckers that looked the other way, then conjured up a war, fear and loathing, widespread spying on civilians, and made total bank on it! Fuckers one and all!

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Rumsfeld_Bush_Cheney.jpg

    • SpideySenser

      I really, really hate those guys.

    • edith prickly

      Cheney is smiling because he just ate a live baby eagle whole.

      • SDGeoff

        Oh yeah?

    • Bitter Scribe

      John Yoo had an op-ed in today’s Chicago Tribune about how we should commemorate 9-11 by getting aggressive with ISIS, not like that pussy Barack Obama. Or Hillary Clinton.

      I think. I was eating breakfast and didn’t much more than glance at the thing, lest I lose my appetite.

      • tehbaddr

        Wind up the war machine! Boots on the ground, lots of munitions, sweet grift for those states that rely on the DOD.

        • theblackdog

          Don’t forget the DoD contracting companies!

      • SayItWithWookies

        Ugh — that criminal needs to be reminded why we hate him so much — for justifying torture and its subsequent perversions of the course of justice and destroying our country’s goodwill and reputation. Really, after that I’m surprised he’s had the temerity to come out from under his rock.

    • going4baroque

      you’ve not been ban-hammered yet?

      • tehbaddr

        Ha, I thought you were trolling. Couldn’t see your history, maybe you still are. New face not sure if one of us.

        • going4baroque

          hahaha, I’m just glad they will never let you near the nuclear codes

          • tehbaddr

            Now why the hell would I want such a proximity? Your concern is noted.

          • theblackdog

            Concern troll is concerned…

        • Basket of Vagendas

          Nah. Frequent visitor to express tonal concerns, though.

          • tehbaddr

            Thanx for the edification.

  • taco truck vagenda

    Since it’s The Most Patriotic Time of the Year, I again recommend Susan Faludi’s “The Terror Dream” in which she expounds on how and why America lost its collective shit after 9/11.

    Also too, since it is 9/11, I say fuck you Rudy Giuliani, you mendacious ghoul.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Birds don’t shed tears, you fucking morons. Oh, who cares? Fifteen years later these monstrosities pretending to pass for art are still with us. Fuck it.

    • mancityfooty .

      don’t hold back

    • mancityfooty .

      you make the baby jesus cry

    • BosGrl

      somebody made the doves cry

      • tehbaddr

        Or at least heard how it sounds.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Patriotic American eagles do. Why do you hate patriotic American eagles?

    • Gregory Brown

      Birds blink their nictitating membranes. Sadly !

  • tehbaddr

    Papa Bush couldn’t finish what he started, had his idiot son and henchmen do the job!

    https://vimeo.com/44568228

    • mancityfooty .

      damn you bastard
      I love you

      • tehbaddr

        Apparently nobody else here appreciates Grandpa Al!

  • Bitter Scribe

    Rudy Giuliani. What a piece of shit that guy was, and is. A ridiculous blowhard with an ego so massive that the one, sole criterion on which he judges subordinates is loyalty. Which is how New York ended up with a mobbed-up police commissioner.

    I wouldn’t mind him so much if the son of a bitch didn’t go around sliming people who are many times greater than him in intelligence, integrity and service to the nation.

  • JCfromNC

    I remember Sam Ramis’ first Spider-Man pic was coming out (speaking of ol’ Webhead), and the teaser featured a group of bank robbers having their getaway helicopter caught in a giant web between the two towers. Then 9/11 came, and Sony wasted no time in yanking that off the interwebs everywhere it could be found, to edit out any reference to the towers.

    I’d like to have a copy of that — it was possibly the best 2-minute long Spider-Man film ever made. But some overzealous exec probably ordered the original footage deleted/destroyed.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Years before 9/11, The Simpsons had an episode where the family visits New York that included an extended gag involving the Twin Towers. Right after 9/11, that episode got yanked from reruns, but it’s since been added back.

      • Roadstergal

        The one where Homer had to stay with the booted car, but had to pee, and ran to the top of each of the the towers?

        • Bitter Scribe

          Yup.

          • Sakonyachen

            “Eeeeeeeeewwww! I’ll take a crab juice!”

          • Roadstergal

            Love that one. Flushing Meadows…

        • doktorzoom

          At night, the C.H.U.D.s came.

    • Ezio

      I heard about that. There was also a poster where you could see the towers in his eyes. I think that was supposed to be his big reveal to the public in that movie. In the first one it feels like he just showed up out of nowhere.

    • TheBoatDude

      I remember when they edited the towers out of the intro to The Sopranos…

  • handyhippie65

    what i remember is a group of saudi’s crashed planes into buildings, and then we invaded not saudia arabia. kinda like kicking the neighbor’s dog, when raccoons tear up your garbage. stupid, and unhelpful, like the shrub himself.

    • tehbaddr

      The Bushes and Saudi Royalty have long been in very good relations. Remember the first flight after 9/11? It was to take Saudi Royalty out of the US!

      • handyhippie65

        and in one of shrub’s speeches, he said why we invaded iraq. ” they tried to kill my daddy.”

        • Blender_415

          And please note that the nickname “Shrub” is credited to our Saint Molly Ivins. Still miss her, dearly. Also.

          • Gregory Brown

            Saint Molly is dearly missed by many.

        • I Am Helpy

          I just got to point out that that this claim probably isn’t even true – the Kuwaitis rounded up some random Iraqi smugglers and tortured them into “confessing” a plot to murder Bush Sr. The evidence that they were actually planning to do this is pretty thin.

          The Kuwaitis have a history of inventing Iraqi plots, such as the time they gloriously fought off an invasion of Bubiyan by the entire Iraqi navy (or a bunch of fishermen looking for salvage).

          • handyhippie65

            well, i saw the speech, so i know he said it. true or not, he believed it.

          • I Am Helpy

            Right, ambiguous phrasing on my part; Dubya definitely said that.

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        …and Bandar Bush.

      • gene108

        It was the only flight after 9/11/01. Air traffic was grounded for a few days.

  • Rick Hill
  • Ryan Denniston

    All that terrible art. It was for naught, as Obama destroyed the United States of Freedom.

    • Sakonyachen

      I swear, it doesn’t matter what

    • Sakonyachen

      I swear it doesn’t matter what Internet collage someone makes, it always has the chubby kid sprinting in a yellow coat. And that makes me smile.

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        “Chubby Bubbles Girl”

        • Sakonyachen

          Thanks for that. I always wondered what she was called. She makes me smile when I see her. She looks like she will never have another moment as awesome as that one, and she is riding it like a wave.

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      I love this one. When people are immune/impervious to facts and reason ridicule is the only option.

  • BosGrl

    This just in: Apparently Hillz had pneumonia diagnosed on Friday. And she came out for 9/11 anyway, so everybody (yes you, Drumpf) shut up about how “frail” she is. This is one tough lady.

    • Ezio

      Before right-wingers get any ideas: Pneumonia is an airborne virus that ANYONE can get….

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        …bacterial and mycoplasma also, too…

      • gene108

        President William Henry Harrison died from pneumonia. He was a war hero, too.

      • Thaag Tidestalker

        There’s several different types of pneumonia. Hillz has “walking” pneumonia which is basically a bacterial chest cold.

  • beingreleased
  • Sheepshagger

    If your eagle cries tears of blood does that make him an undocumented immigrant?

  • Snopes Shop

    I have waited for this day, Ken Layne. How I love and miss you.

  • Alan

    Well that was depressingly tacky.

  • Vagendadentacohontas

    Poor Santa…

  • Incoming Ham

    It appears professional visual designers are not very patriotic. It took the brave MS Pains wielding neophytes to step up to the challenge of creating patrifrankenart.

    • Zyxomma

      I’m guessing that was supposed to be MS Paint (a program with which I’m totally unfamiliar), but I like your way better.

      • Incoming Ham

        I would say “Damn you autocorrect” but looking at it I like it the way it is.

        • ahughes798

          It would take a hell of a lot of MS Pains to make me create something like those “creations.”

  • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

    In all our faux ‘exceptional’ glory (capitalism fuck yeah)

    https://youtu.be/7R5A0pg4oN8

    • Gregory Brown

      fuck yeah

    • (((B00kLove)))

      That’s straight out of ‘Idiocracy’.

    • SeekingBarbie

      Tacos are in there! Fuck Yeah!

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        Yo quiero!

  • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

    From the beginning

    • Basket of Vagendas

      Am I the only one thus reminds of Channing Tatum playing gay Gene Kelly in Hail Caesar?

  • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

    So, if teh Donald becomes prez will he still pay the GAO $3M +cut on profits/annually for his old DC post office hotel which opens tomorrow?

  • Tosca

    That tiger/eagle/furry thing…SO much going on, and I have so many questions about all of it. Who the hell thought this was a good idea??

    • Thaag Tidestalker

      What disturbed me was that the furry thing was…gestating…still….after 2 years…730 days….even elephants give birth after 645 days of gestation.

  • KimDavisisHawt

    I’ve always thought the I would be the best of friends with all of the writers from Wonkette. This piece has not changed my mind.

  • Zyxomma

    It’s not quite as beautiful today in NYC as it was 15 years ago, but it’s close. I’m at the Apple store, picking up my repaired laptop.

    • Basket of Vagendas

      It was, wasn’t it? I voted that morning, for Freddy Ferrer for Mayor, and then in the redo and then the runoff, until we got stuck with Mark Green and the skids were greased for Bloomberg.

      • Zyxomma

        Yes. One of the most perfect summer days imaginable, apart from the unthinkable. West wind blew all the stench toward Coney Island, but the next day the wind blew from the south & we could smell it. Wore painters masks outside. Had to show ID to return to the neighborhood. Kids on the subways and buses offered me their seats. Strange days indeed.

        • Basket of Vagendas

          We ran away, I’m afraid. We lived in a south asian neighborhood, and all her friends were terrified that there were vigilante mobs coming, and she was terrified, so we went to the Catskills to stay with her grandmother (where everyone seemed to think we got what was coming to us).

          • Zyxomma

            Were you in Queens County? It was unfortunate that so many Sikhs and so forth got attacked. On a very cold late fall evening, I was on far W. 10th Street to get a bus home, and put the top layer of my cape/scarf over my hat to keep the wind out of my ears. Some guy at the bus stop freaked the fuck out because he thought I was wearing a chador.

          • Basket of Vagendas

            I was, in Briarwood, where a lot of south asian people settled in the oughts. The sign outside the Kabul Market was down the next day.

  • NerdWithNoName

    That commemorative lighter with OBL on it seems to be aimed at people who thought the 9/11 attack was a GOOD thing. As long as there is a market… Sorry if this was discussed previously; too many comments to check.

  • CripesAmighty

    Impressive. this level of kitsch shows that the Annual Orgiastic Show of the Wailing, Gnashing of The Teeth and Rending Of The Garments is maturing from the merely tedious, tacky and tiresome into a Gen-yew-wine American Tradition. The only thing missing is the mattress sale.

    • Sister Artemis
      • CripesAmighty

        Well, I guess that’s it then. Break out the Bar-b-q…

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      don’t worry the mattress sale ad will happen. I have seen a a Memorial Day car sale ad that was nothing but a flag flying with a voiceover selling cars. US America gotta love it.

    • TheBoatDude

      This is why I’m against having a 9/11 holiday…it would further devolve into another BBQ and booze weekend, punctuated with tacky sales gimmicks (“Call 9-1-1, our prices are too hot!”)

      • theblackdog

        Sounds like Miracle Mattress was ahead of its time with their commercial

      • The Witch of Endor

        I’m for the holiday as long as it is commemorated on the actual day that 9/11 falls, and EVERYTHING closes except for essential services.

        • TheBoatDude

          That has merit…and sales are prohibited…

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Just 10 more years and it will be funny to make airplane jokes again.

  • I just have to say that if God really wanted to bless America, he might have stopped the damn planes before they hit the towers.

    • Barley_Brains

      A complete absence of evidence strongly leans toward evidence of absence.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      “God saved my baby from the tornado!”

      God killed everyone else, and cleared the whole fucking trailer park so neatly they won’t even need to clean up. Not so much a miracle as He fucked up and missed one, y’ask me…

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        God helped my football team when at the sportsball!

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    #allfriesmatter

    • Relativicus

      #notFRENCHfries

  • Sam Hain

    I have an idea for a tribute, how about we elect some decent politicians that aren’t Reiching hippo-fucking-crits that actually want to take care of all those that risked their lives to help on that day…how bout that!!!
    nah, nevermind creepy crying bald eagles are better

  • Mavenmaven
  • Kip TW

    It’s all part of the Funerary Schlock Tradition, which Mark Twain took some interest in, and even tried his hand at (see: Ode to young Stephen Dowling Botts, Dec’d). I still see ‘pathetic’ poems (the single quotes vanish if you look at them qualitatively) now and then. I picked up a pulp shopping rag at a truck stop once that had verses about some poor child… who never had a chance… in life… father beat her… mother hooked & took drugs… writer couldn’t punctuate… just used ellipses for everything… I wept… ha ha ha… that’s how I wept… so sad…

  • HogeyeGrex

    Just thought I’d leave this here.
    https://twitter.com/ScottyLiterati/status/774895778817073152?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
    Because every time I think he can’t be more vile…

    • WomanInAMood

      What a ghastly human being he is.

  • Vernicegghalusha1

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ri497f:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !ri497f:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash737NetworkLearningGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ri497f:….,…….

    • phoenix00

      A “Land Rover Range Rover” ain’t a MACLAREN P1 bub.

  • Relativicus

    “This 9/11, #NeverForget that Raymour&Flanigan has the lowest prices on top quality bedroom furniture…”

  • Grumpy Old Man

    I recognize those scratches

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