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angerbear-donna-rose

Hello there, beautiful wonderful Wonkers we love! You are looking very intelligent today! Is that a new sweater? We need money.

We know, we always need money. But usually we need money for, like, nice wine and fancy trips to garage sales. Today, we need money for payroll.

Here, let me ask me some questions for you.

What the fuck and how did this happen, we thought you were such a good businessman?

ME TOO! I was all, oooh, look at all this piles of money I am making, I will hire more people, at a living wage, look at me being pretty and rad! Then, April hit, and May, and June. The first few months of the year were so awesome, we could ride out losing about $10,000 a month. Then July came, and August. And September’s worse. Shy and I last took a salary in March, and we are plumb out of money.

Do you have even worse news, for which we should be ready?

I DO. We’ve had to let Robyn go because “last hired first fired,” which fucking sucks, and this is her last month with us. If you have a job for her, she might take it! She is sad, and we are sad, and she’ll stick around for some freelance probably, but as a grown up woman professional writer, she usually commands a lot more than we offer.

And you STILL can’t make the rest of your payroll?

Gah. Yes. We’re thousands short for Dok and Evan this month. And next month. And God only knows after that. Dok, being a sweetling, keeps offering to take a paycut. We would rather not let him! But honestly, at our current burn, not only are paycuts in the offing, more layoffs are too.

Whoa, this is serious?

Yes. This is serious. We’ve asked you for money before for emergencies here and there — and you’ve always come through! — but we’ve never not been able to make payroll. We’re seven thousand dollars short for our payroll this week, and next month’s not going to be any better.

Why don’t you tell us some real money numbers?

We usually make between $15,000 and $25,000 a month from our stupid ads that you and we hate. $25k is a WHOO-BOY month! $15k is a crap one! Since April, we’ve made less than $15,000 each month, and even with the new ads, we’ve been hitting less than $12,000. In the meantime, our Wonkers average about $8,000 a month in donations, ad-fewer subscriptions, and Truck Fump t-shirts. We don’t know of anyone who’s as reader-supported as we are, but that amount has to at least double — and we’re not against it quadrupling — in order to keep paying our writers (and start paying us).

When I say we’re in trouble, I’m not just spouting shit like I’m Oral Roberts. Which reminds me, in 7th grade speech club I did a fake newscast about Oral Roberts being called home to God. THAT IS WHAT GOOD HANDS WONKETTE IS IN. Seventh grade! My god! I’m amazing! (Also, I won.)

That sounds embarrassing. Are you embarrassed?

Well, not about the Oral Roberts part! As to the rest of it, fuck yeah I am! Money-begs are supposed to be for expanding, and new hires, and fun things we made you because we are bitchen, not for sadness and shame!

But you know what, though? We just went to Portland, on the way to Shy’s dad’s memorial service, and Wonkers there threw a party. Not because we were coming — we crashed it! They threw a party because this is a for real good community, full of smart, fun, interesting people who dig our brand of our news-based humor and humor-based news, and who’ve found a place of generous, warm, a-little-bit-evil-but-not-that-much weirdos with whom to hang out and go (a little bit) less crazy. The Portlanders brought the most beautiful things from their gardens you ever have seen. They were beautiful people inside and out — and their tomatoes were better.

We know the few hundred of you who regularly comment, and the 2000 of you who give us money every month. (We see you in our Paypal; hell, if you’ve been at it long enough, I could probably tell you what town you live in when I see you at our party and kiss you on your face.)

But there’s another 900,000 of you though who dip in a few times a month for a taste. And we know what we do matters to you too, and we trust you will be here for us.

Well, at least you’re not Donald Trump. That guy just never pays anyone.

I know, fuck him, right? He gets em both ways: borrowing money he never pays back, and hiring workers he never pays at all. What a fucking dick he is. Probably sleeps like a baby with very small hands.

Yes, now we remember our common enemy, who is not you. Now how can we help?

Okay! There are things you can do! You can sign up for your ad-fewer wonkette right here, and then we won’t feel guilty about all our bad ads! (First, sign up there. Then, it’ll take you to Paypal where you’ll click one of the amounts ending in .99, like $4.99 or $9.99, etc. If you’re already contributing a monthly donation, and you want to take advantage of ad-fewer, that’s great! Now I won’t feel terrible! You just have to register above and then change your monthly amount from, say, $5 to, say, $4.99, because we set it up dumb and they’re tracked differently. When you’ve done all that, don’t forget to log in where it says members, and log in again when your cookies expire which will be every month or so.

Don’t like Paypal? Send us a check for at least several months’ worth of ad-fewer at

Wonkette
PO Box 8765
Missoula MT 59807

Include the username you’re registering and your email so we can shoot you a note when you’re all switched on!

I already have ad-block. I like to go into the comments and suggest everyone else get it too.

If you’re an ad-block person, we get it. Please consider making a recurring donation of a buck or two or ten a month, and we’ll call that even. Telling everyone else to get ad-block is a dick move though, bro. You should try to cut that out!

Is it me? Is there something wrong with me? I can’t log in to ad-fewer!

Not just you! Fucking plugin did a stealth update without telling us, and people who joined at silver or higher were all having them a little clusterfuck trying to log in. THEY’RE ALL FIXED NOW, but if you made a bunch of accounts in the meantime, and need me to refund a few of them, email me at rebecca@wonkette.com!

We can still just send you money?

Yes, you can just send us money.

What about those games you made, Election Game of US America Elections: The Wonkette US Election Game? Should we buy those?

Oh god yes. We’ll get our shipment by the end of September, and we’ll be sending them out to all of you who preordered. But we also have about a thousand left, and honestly we didn’t make dick on the whole thing despite all your lovely kickstarter donations. Selling those extra ones would help us a lot! They’re $29.99 and they include free shipping if you’re in the US. Dirty foreigner? Email me at rebecca@wonkette.com and I’ll look up your dirty foreign shipping for you.

Are you tired of telling us all the ways we can buy things?

Yes, but still, go to the Bazaar if you want to, and our Redbubble store if you want to, and maybe buy things through the Amazon link in the siderail if you’re going to be buying things on Amazon anyway, and DEFINITELY sign up for solar and or wind power from our friends at Arcadia; dude, they have a version that’s FREE.

We are a really rich person with money to burn. Not so much a question, we just like mentioning it.

I am dead serious, give us a whole fuckload of money, and we will paint your name on the back of the Wonkebago. Give us more, and we’ll put your name above our logo on the site. “Wonkette brought to you by George Soros” has a sweet fucking ring to it. Man, your name looks FANTASTIC.

We are really poor for real, you don’t want our widow’s mite, do you?

NO! Do not send us money if you are a poor! We are young and strong and will figure it out! But what you can do is share all the wonkette stories from your Twitface. (On Facebook, it’s even more helpful if you share it directly from our Facebook page.)

Because you know what? Fuck USUncut and all those other bullshit-lie websites with their millions of fucking readers sucking down their bullshit-lie headlines. WONKETTE NEVER LIES (and when we do get shit wrong, we fess up immediately), and WE SHOULD BE WAY MORE HUGER. So, help us do that please. Strike a blow for dick joke integrity! Share share share! There, now you have given!

This post was depressing, be moar funnier

Santorum jerking

Baby, we’ll do anything for you.

Fuck you, we hated that even worse. Give us baby pix instead.

‘k.

donna-rose-book-2

roadside blackberries yum yum yum
roadside blackberries yum yum yum

Now dance, veal, dance!

Had about enough out of you, pally. But okay!

ok bye!
ok bye!

Okay we were just kidding. We CAN’T HELP BEING TERRIBLE.

I know, honey. Me too.

$
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  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    Uh oh. Does that make DR the next last hire?

  • Shan

    So can someone do the math and tell us what’s the cutoff for the ad-fewer donation amount that makes that be more money going into the Wonkette slush fund than if we let the ads run sans AdBlocker? Or is that how that even works? Because I am perfectly willing to bump up my monthly ad-fewer donation or even continue donating the same amount and just NOT log on as a member if having ads in my face makes Wonkette some more moolah. If that makes any sense…

    • rebecca

      no no no, if you have the ad-fewer USE the ad-fewer! for my IMMORTAL SOUL!

      • Shan

        Does anybody know how much per person or page view or whatever the ads bring in? I would like to get above that in donation figure in order to feel like I’m being a good citizen and contributing fairly.

        • nothingisamiss

          Seconded.

      • aureolaborealis

        If I have ad-fewer AND I use ad-blocker, am I dashing crumbs from babby’s lips?

      • Iam Reading

        We just want to maximize funds to the people doing the work! You know, like good socialists.

    • Iam Reading

      Brilliant. I support this concept

  • Toomush_Infer

    Okay. I hate PayPal, won’t use it. I hate checks, because you have to do all that stuff. Why can’t Wonkette take my Visa?….oh, and mixing Wonkette Baby with Dick Jokes is not something I do…..GET OFF MY LEG!#CrankyOldConfusedToomush…..

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      Do you know that you don’t have to have a Paypal account to pay with a credit card? I think you just go into their home page and click the “Send” header”. As long as you have the email address, you’re good.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Ok, I’ll try that again, didn’t work last time…

        • Toomush_Infer

          Nope, doesn’t work….gets out checkbook grudgingly…

    • kareemachan

      Having credit cards as an option costs $$$$$$$.

    • anwisok

      I’ll be happy to help you out. First, what’s the card number? Also too, there’s a 3 digit number by the signature panel on the back. Let me have that, also too . . ..

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    Done. Oh, and I bought a subscription too . . . dang that babby!

    P.S. Just kidding – I’d be going insane during this election if it tweren’t for Wonkette, so I’m happy to help.

  • BobZ

    Monthly add-free subscription plus an extra $50 now and then (hope that’s enough) feels like a bargain for a never-ending story of dick and butsechs jokes about repugnant people all day long, whenever I want them, too.

    • Groundloop

      So say we all. Or, me at least. Wonkette has the uncanny ability to inform me of the repugnant people and horrible events of the world, without making me want to curl up in the corner with a banky.

      Is there anything a good dick joke can’t do?

      • nothingisamiss

        If you take the “joke” off the end of that sentence I’ll agree as well.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    The power of the baby compels you!

  • data_ninja

    Done and done.

  • Shan

    there’s another 900,000 of you though who dip in a few times a month for a taste.

    Just pointing that out again.

  • chascates

    Dear Lady, I’m afraid I’m living hand to mouth myself. Sorry to see Robyn go, she was fantastic!

    Folks, I’m living on $200 a week and haven’t made a college loan payment in 2 years. Please send some shekels to Ms. Schoenkopf or my online therapy site could vanish after which I might as well!!!

    • nothingisamiss

      If I’d read this far in the comments I’d have donated “for chascates therapy.” I need this therapy site myself.

    • Big Puppy

      Done.

      I already give monthly but I’m going to bump it up a bit and make a one-time donation.

      We all need the therapy Wonkette provides.

    • mtn_philosoph

      We’re here for you, chascates.

  • John Smith

    I am a poor, with a subscription. However, I am expecting a windfall this month (more like a breeze-fall), but a percentage is yours. Please hold on as long as possible, they get upset when I make dick jokes at work.

  • Painter of Deplorables

    Ok, am sending moar. Babby pix are worth it! And so are Dok and Even and Robyn. Bye Robyn. :(

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Note about the game:

    It doubles as a standard deck of cards, so you can play your regular card game.

    You will need two to make your own pinochle deck.

    • Painter of Deplorables

      You can still find 3 other people who play pinochle? Nice.

      • DinkyBossetti

        He lives an enchanted life.

      • Arolpin

        You only need to find 2 other people if you play Cutthroat Pinochle.
        I should find a group of people to play Pinochle with, single deck, partners, $5/game, $5/set. Any NJ wonkers up for it?

    • Vienna Woods

      Or canasta!

    • nothingisamiss

      I’ll learn pinochle if three other bay area wonkers want to play. (We can just drink if you’d like.)

  • sw19tacotruck

    Okay fuck it, the interest rates for both Canuckistan and the UK are still shitty, but my bank just gave a few hundred bucks refund for some apparently naughty stuff they did ten years ago and finally got around to realising (or getting told by the banking ombudsman to fucking pay that money back with compensation and interest you cheeky assholes).
    So, seeing as I class it as “free money”, a small part of someone’s wages this month is going to be financed by ‘Wall Street’.
    The rest of it I intend to spend on pizza and Monster/Ever After High dolls. Do not judge me!

    • Blank Ron

      Judge? I was gonna ask for an invitation.

      • Tacosinencinitas

        Srsly coordinates please.

    • Wes Grogan

      I judge you as AWESOME.

      • sw19tacotruck

        For my great choice in dolls, right?

        • BeachBum

          Umm, yeah, right, that’s , uh, so, so cool . Yeah COOL !

    • BeachBum

      Sheeeszsch ! Judge, hell, with free monies ? Goferit !

  • Vienna Woods

    I do a monthly donation and ad fewer also too but Imma throwing you a few extra. Because life without Wonkette is simply not possible.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    OT, but, um, Wikileaks?…. Mind the fin, guys…

    We now return you to crass moneygrubbing, already in progress.
    Oh, hey, Chascates? I beat you! By $23…

  • Basket of Vagendas

    All done.

  • Beowoof14

    I have upped my monthly ad-fewer contribution rate, cause this place is too important to fade away. I would encourage the rest of you to join me.

    • Wes Grogan

      We want it to stick around long enough to burn out, not fade away! :)

  • mackafritz

    I am a subscriber but I have sent you something in the mail because I don’t feel like messing with PayPal today.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I gave you my muneez, bless my heart! YOU ARE WELCOME.

    Love and kisses,

    EQ

  • Panika MCD

    white listing Wonkette today and next weekend as I am a poors, but will have to ad block for Tues-Thurs as I need you to keep me sane while covering the TX lege interim hearings I have this week and granicus sucks already so I need to not make it worse. will share some on the FacePlant also too.

  • SnarkOff

    1. Write an impassioned post about how Wonkette will no longer be available to gay people because of religious reasons.
    2. Set up a GoFundMe to support your bigotry.
    3. Profit!
    (Also, I will up my monthly ad-free subscription by a couple of bucks.)

  • Sedagive

    Crap – I only just got settled in after years of guilt-ridden freeloading!

    There is no greater snark mob than this snark mob, and only snark can save us now.

    More monies for you.

    • nothingisamiss

      “Only snark can save us now” needsto be on a tshirt with #FFS

      • emmelemm

        I would buy that for sure

      • SterWonk

        Callyson would need to get a cut for the hashtag. ;-)

  • Howdy! Howdy! Howdy!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Plus also too, big hands wouldn’t work on a small dick, so God is thoughtful and considerate in that way…

      • I think that’s all the proof we need that there is indeed a god.

  • Ms.MLG1979

    Just sent a few extra Whore Diamonds. You don’t wanna know what I did for those, ’cause you know my liberal arse ain’t got no jerb. I also cannot stress enough how awesome ad-free is. I can be obnoxious so much more quickly these days!

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    I upgraded to ad-fewer a week ago and just set up a monthly recurring. I hope other librarians will join in. Make Librarians Great Again!

  • Ennui There Yet

    I’ve been an occasional reader and rare commentor since the Ana Marie Cox days. Here’s $25 a month. Now go do good journalism.

  • sw19tacotruck
  • NotALiar

    I’ll send some money but would it help if I clicked on all the adds? I have no idea how advertising here works. Do you make anything if I click on them?

    • Basket of Vagendas

      You know what does work? If you’re going to shop at Amazon, go through the page link on the right and they get a percentage of your total.

      • nothingisamiss

        I always forget this and I’m on amazon plenty. I shall do it for all good dick jokes everywhere.

  • Wait wait wait. Are you saying you can’t pay your bills by printing out the articles you wrote and writing “exposure dollars” on them?

  • nightmoth

    Sent you a few bucks: wish it could be more. Real journalists should be able to earn real salaries.

  • Robin

    Why not see if CNN will put you on the teevees as a pundit. The bar there is set rather low.

    • sw19tacotruck

      Charge Mika and Joe to babysit Donna Rose – it’s a win-win!

      • Wes Grogan

        I would totally tune in to watch Morning Joe and Donna Rose.

    • Wes Grogan

      It might actually be too low for Wonkette. Can’t be bringing people on the air that actually have their heads out of their asses for the majority of the day.

    • bookish

      I want to peek at Shy’s legs under the table.

  • What is the Dollar-to-Amero exchange rate right now?

  • Wes Grogan

    I am heartbroken to hear that Robyn is leaving. Absolutely heartbroken. I love her brand of snark, and if she gets hired elsewhere you guys BETTER let us know! You can’t bring us together and then not feel responsible. :)

    Anyway, I get paid Friday. I’ll pass along some help then. So sorry you guys are having such a Hell year. I’ve been through more than enough of them to know how endless they can feel. Much love, Wonkeroonies.

  • parkii

    I think/hope that I just finally got my paypal to not be terrible, and I think/hope I signed up to send you a dollar of my poor little Disability check every month, but I am not entirely sure and maybe just gave you one dollar? Can someone smarter than me please tell me how to check?

    • rebecca

      do you live in Lansing? if so, it worked :)

      • parkii

        Yes, that’s me! Yay, I didn’t ruin everything!

        • rebecca

          because you’re A GENIUS.

          • parkii

            *blush*

  • calliecallie

    “You just have to register above and then change your monthly amount from $5 to $4.99…” I thought you were trying to RAISE money? Math is hard.
    Also too, I can no longer cut and paste on this site. Is that a cost-saving measure?
    Seriously, I will quadruple my monthly contribution when I get home from work. I make monies, and I want you to make monies too. So sorry to see Robyn go.

  • Spurning Beer

    Liberals. Always wanting free stuff.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I wish I could help, I really do, but SSDI only goes so far. No COLA increase this past year, and next year when I finally qualify for Medicare (I’m quite sure they are hoping I die while waiting for it), Part B will cost more. Now if Bernie had won the nomination. . . how many things would be different? Who can say.

    • parkii

      I’m in Michigan and have Medicaid for secondary insurance, and they pay my Medicare premiums. It makes a huge difference! Have you looked into that?

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        QMB, baybee!

        ETA: Medicare literally saved my life last year, and with QMB, I still have food money. For certain values of “food”…

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I don’t qualify for QMB. I make more than 100% of the federal poverty guideline. The fact that I have a $700 mortgage is not taken into account. I have this mortgage because I lost my previous home to Hurricane Katrina, but this is not taken into account either, and rightly so, as nobody held a gun to my head and made me move to New Orleans in 2005. However, in 2 years my mortgage will be paid off, and then things will improve.

          • parkii

            What a relief that will be! I managed to get an adorable little house (that didn’t need anything major) on a 3 1/2 year land contract, using my back pay as a down payment. Phew!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Congrats! I didn’t get back pay. . . was approved in 4 weeks, no questions asked. I don’t know how that happened, but it did.

          • parkii

            Wow, molotov!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Unfortunately, or fortunately as the case may be, I worked hard and was frugal and saved money for retirement for 40 years, and in order to qualify for Medicaid I would have to spend it all down first. I will not do that.

        • parkii

          Good plan. It took me 5 years of being severely ill and unable to work before I finally got my disability determination, so I had pretty much used up all available resources and credit sources, which made me poor enough to get Medicaid. Six of one, sigh.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I think a key element is finding the right doctor BEFORE you apply for SSDI. My regular doctors refused to submit letters of support, so I contacted a lawyer I know who recommended a doctor in St. Louis who does nothing all day except certify people for SSDI and testify in SSDI appeals. His letter was a masterpiece of medical jargon. Cost me $1600 and 4 hours of painful tests, but was worth every penny, as I was approved immediately. I had also collected copies of all my medical records going back 10 years, and dropped off copies at the SS office, which I suspect saved a lot of time.

          • parkii

            I think things have changed a lot in recent years, when I first got sick there wasn’t even an ICD code for my most debilitating illness. That makes it extremely difficult to even have good medical records, there were far more pages ruling things out than there were documenting my disability. I also had a terrible lawyer the first go ’round who really dropped the ball and wasted a lot of my time. I went with Allsup the second time around (an advocacy group, not a law firm) and was also a lot further along in my journey to find doctors who knew wtf was happening, and it went way faster and I ultimately won. (I also had several more surgeries in the time between the 2, I’m sure that helped my case.) What sucks is that because it took so long, some of my income wasn’t counted in their formula so I get far less than I would have if I had gotten approved the first time around. And obviously, that’s forever. I can’t tell you how much I wish there was some recourse for that.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I agree, there should be recourse. But they stack the deck against people. And bad lawyers are the pits. The first one I consulted, I knew more about SSDI than he did! I caught him in 2 mistakes in the first 10 minutes, so I skedaddled.

          • parkii

            Mine knew what he was doing, and was recommended by my very good personal injury attorney (I was in 2 car accidents within 3 years of getting sick, both times rear ended while sitting at a red light and then slammed into the vehicle in front of me). But apparently his life went to hell or something while he was working on my case for some reason or another, he basically just checked out. I guess that is right in line with my luck at the time, ha! But yes, they make it as hard as possible. I understand the need to avoid fraudulent claims, but there’s something extra awful about putting people who are at their most difficult point in their lives through even more horrible bullshit.

    • Wes Grogan

      No worries, Angela. Those of us with a little more will happily give a little more to cover for you. It’s how it ought to work. :)

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Thank you, I appreciate that. I do love Wonkette.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      We are in the Age of the Un COLA…

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Thanks ObamaJanet!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Gosh, you are reminding me of those funny Seven-Up TV ads from the 80’s. I hadn’t thought about them in years.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7Wfz8A_Sk4

        • Blank Ron

          Funny, isn’t it, how the grocery stores never had those uncola nuts. Maybe it’s a really short growing season?

  • 9/11john

    True story. When they were in Portland last week, Mr. And Ms. Wonkette gave me a free XXL Hillary shirt when I told them the one I had was too small. Please send them lots of money and maybe they’ll give me something else for free next time. Thank you.

  • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

    I trust Paypal as far as I can throw my Toyota. I will send a check.

    Please enjoy this picture of my goldfish while you’re waiting:

  • 9/11john

    “I will Wonk harder.”

    • Wes Grogan

      Wonk Hard 2: Wonk Harder.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Electric Wonkaloo?

  • FZsdaughter

    This is the first month in like, 9 years that I have had less than $3 in my chequing account. I am a full-time student but I am also an Old so things should be better. If I’m drunk later I might creditcard you something tho. #sharingeconomy #sorryBec

    • Wes Grogan

      I did college as an Old. Broke months happen.. no reflection on you!

    • rebecca

      DONT YOU DARE.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I gave just now. And now I will anxiously check my account because Paypal and internet and hackers oh my. But soldier on Wonkette. You are my port in the storm, the wind beneath my wings, the lemon in my guacamole.

  • BouncyFlyer

    OK, you got a recurring donation from me. I should have done this long ago.

  • Already on ad fewer…will add another donation. I widh i could give more but the exchange rate is fucking terrible

    • sw19tacotruck

      Tell me about it. :( Got a road trip next month but hey ho.

    • h4rr4r

      Have you considered making money from your terrible exchange rate?

      There are people out there, me, willing to pay to have things brought in from other markets. Stupid regional pricing.

      • Vienna Woods

        Sounds interesting. How does that work?

        • h4rr4r

          Depending on where you live prices for some products might be higher or lower and you grey market import those to other places.

          What I want are products made in Germany and the UK that sell for much lower there than they do in the USA. Add in the recent dive in the pound and suddenly they are even cheaper in the UK. These are typically luxury goods or items with low sales outside their home region.

          • Vienna Woods

            Well darn. Being in the frozen north probably won’t help much then.

          • h4rr4r

            Kinder eggs, not fucking kidding.

          • Vienna Woods

            Seriously? But how to get them across the border? Oh wait – this is like my husband’s grandpa working as an accountant for Hiram Walkers during prohibition. It was perfectly legal in Canada to sell it to the states, even though he needed armed guards to collect payments from Detroit mobsters. So if I sent them to you, I’m not breaking Canadian law. You’d only be breaking US law by receiving them.

          • h4rr4r

            What I want are not kinder eggs. However that would be something a Canadian could make money sending to the USA. I am not sure on your end of things as you would knowingly be sending an item through customs. I doubt they would extradite over that.

            What I want is legal to import, I want European toys.

  • anwisok

    Lunch in 45 minutes. I’ll hit up Paypal then.

  • natoslug

    I’m on the cheap-ass $4.99/month plan. Maybe if I can get the wife to go back to work (she quit last month when she got tired of working four different positions in her company, but only being paid for one of them), I can increase that amount a little. Or if someone wants to make an offer on one of the kids’ kidneys, I could sell one of those to pay for a Wonkebago paint job. I’d offer one of my kidneys, but then I’d have to cut back on the drinking.

    • Tacosinencinitas

      Heaven forfend!

  • FlownOver

    OK, OK… jeez, like payrolls and food are real things.

    Let’s see if this works. I tried to up my AdFewer amount recently, but PayPal said nah, mang, go fkyrslf. So instead I left the AdFewer alone and launched a separate Jackson per month (and let’s make “Put Editrix on the Twenty” a thing) out of my Colorado candy bar fund.

    Go ahead. Eat. See if I care.

  • anneonymie

    I’m a long-time lurker, so I thought I’d better start paying up for all those delicious chucklesnorts. I heard recurring payments help, so even though it’s not much (money tight, surprise surprise!), it is gladly given in exchange for the promise of more baby pix, tiny hands jokes, and general snarkery. I hope it helps keep the lights on!

  • Swampay

    Here, wonkette, have some muneez. It’s not a lot, I’m afraid. Hey, I’ve got an idea! When you leave Seattle, come on up to Bellingham for a day or two! I don’t know if there are any other wonkers here, but you can park the wonkebago at my house and I’ll take you out for awesome breakfast and great beer! (we have other restaurants but breakfast and beer are what we do best). (We’re up to 10 microbreweries with more coming!)

    I’d come down to see you in Seattle but you didn’t give me enough time to plan and now I can’t come.

    • rebecca

      we are heading up that way to go to the San Juans after Shy’s dad’s memorial service. (his family built a cabin there a million years ago, and Mark would have liked some illegal ash-scattering.) maybe we can see you for a meal! you know where to email me, yeah?

      • Swampay

        Any wonkers in Bham?

  • DensityDestiny

    Freeloader that I am, I hadn’t subscribed before. But I’m good at maths and pretty sure I just gave you infinity times that freeloading amount! I’d give infinity times more but then I’d have to give up my job as a kept woman. Seriously, thanks for risking poverty for our entertainment, and for being nice people with good dick jokes.

  • nothingisamiss

    I keep hitting the donate button without being taken to another screen. Is this because we are stepping up to the wonk-plate and doing what we need to do? I’m forgetful and cranky and want to donate before I forget, or before my lawyer asks me to give more money to her so I can finally be divorced.

    EDIT to say I got through.

  • anna rampage

    Well, perhaps next season I will plant my whole garden with tomatoes and we can market Wonkette’s Very Own Ridiculously Stupid Bruschetta….

    In the mean time, I will send a check and make a contribution to the cause!

    • WomanInAMood

      That really was the best bruschetta!

      • anna rampage

        Thank you! It was so great to meet you last week at the Drinky Thing!

        Many thanks to you and Sister A for putting that together!

        I really wish I could take more credit for creating something magical with my very own cooking skills, but really, all the magic & credit goes to using home grown tomatoes & basil…

    • rebecca

      that bruschetta was fucking DUMB.

  • Fartknocker

    I’ve been Wonking on the Wailwoad
    All da live long day
    I’ve been Wonking on the Wailwoad
    Just to snark the time away
    Can’t you hear the Trumpinazis blowing
    Rise up so early in the morn
    So I can send Donna Rose some of my pay

    Monies via USPS to the Missoula command center

  • ASmartFloridian

    Okay Wonkette, you’ve successfully shamed me into no longer free-loading. Signed up for the subscription and made a small donation to boot. Keep the snark coming!

  • Skadi

    Why is it when you give a babby a magic pony you suddenly become more vulnerable to guilt-tripping rather than less? *donates some muneez*

    • h4rr4r

      Me too!

      As an atheist it was really easy.

  • BeachBum

    Ok here are some monies. Everybody needs help sometimes.

  • Candy Apple

    You better use these whore diamonds to buy Wonkbabby pretty things!

    • rebecca

      she already got a garage sale rocking horse! WHAT ELSE DOES SHE NEED.

      • Candy Apple

        Pix of babby on horse or GTFO!

      • anwisok

        Well, she’s been a lion and a zebra already so . . how about a cat outfit? (whip optional)

  • natoslug

    Dammit. I keep forgetting that I can buy from Amazon via the Wonkette link.

    • Candy Apple

      I know, I need to get into the habit of doing this, I could slap myself for forgetting.

      • Shan

        If you shop from your desktop/laptop (not from Amazon app), you could bookmark the link.

        https://www.amazon.com/?tag=wonkette0f-20

        • BrianW

          Thanks Shan, have put that in my bookmarks.

          I also went and signed up for the ad-fewer subscription. This is the first website that isn’t hobby-related that has gotten me to comment on a semi-regular basis. So, it seems only fair that I should send some $$ their way. EDIT: Been meaning to do it, but have been too busy being a moocher and taker for free.

        • h4rr4r

          Is there a way to do it from the app?
          Impulse buying happens!

          • Shan

            I’m not a tech person, so I don’t know. If you’re shopping from your phone, maybe you could also bookmark it in your phone’s internet browser. When you click on it from there (I tested it on an iPhone with Safari) the bookmark will take you to the Amazon app but it’s still got the Wonkette reference in the link just like before so I reckon that might work too.

        • Candy Apple

          Bookmarked! Thank you!

      • natoslug

        I just spent a few hundred on school supplies for the spawn that could have gone through Wonkette if I’d remembered to look over at the sidebar.

      • rebecca

        or I could slap you. where do you live again?

        • Candy Apple

          Utah. I mean, West Virginia. Yeah, that’s it.

    • nightmoth

      I needed the reminder, too: just ordered a couple of books through the link.

    • Wes Grogan

      I wonder if you can use the Amazon link AND Amazon Smile together. Help two causes with one purchase? Probably too good to be true.

      EDIT: Gasp! It looks like you can!! https://smile.amazon.com/?tag=wonkette0f-20

      • natoslug

        I was wondering about that too, haven’t tried it yet. So I can support the boy-child’s school, and Wonkette in one fell swoop! Now if only Amazon wouldn’t drop the Wonkette name/value pair in the url when I switch from paperback to kindle when looking at books . . .

  • LifelongLurker

    One semi-freeloader down; only 899,999 to go.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    The Wonkette Roadrunner, Ethel says GIVE MONIES!!!!!! (if you prefer velociraptors instead of babbies)

    • Blank Ron

      Does Wonkette accept payment in rodents?

      • cousin itt

        I have a couple of voles just burning a hole in my pocket.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Ethel tried, unfortunately, no.

        • Tacosinencinitas

          Send her over. They are here. She’d have a blast.

    • vivian

      But what does Mickey say?

      • Skadi

        Mickey says “ROADRUNNERS ARE GODLESS KILLING MACHINES”.

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          Say that when one kills a rattlesnake in your yard……

          • mtn_philosoph

            “ROADRUNNERS ARE GODLESS KILLING MACHINES. ROADRUNNER, LEAVE THOSE SNAKES ALONE.”

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Don’t mess with the Wonkette Roadrunner!

  • AngryKatie

    Do you get more money if we click on the ads or sponsored stories?
    Because I have kinda been wanting to know what the producers of the Walton’s were hiding.

    • rebecca

      well, you’re not supposed to just frenziedly click on things. (click fraud jail PFFT.) but yes, the sponsored posts (like the one at the bottom of posts) and those dumb girls in tank tops do pay from clicks, not just seeing them.

      • AngryKatie

        Well after listening to the secret known by 93% of lotto winners, I predict I’ll have all the moniez soon. I’ll share the wealth.

        • Wes Grogan

          And what those stars of 20 year old television shows look like today really did shock me!

          • AngryKatie

            Not to mention, all the “one” weird tricks!

  • Bad Scooter

    whatever is requested, if followed by pictures of Donna Rose, must be given. Wonk on my friends. and, also, too: moar Wonkibaby !

    • BrianW

      It is known.

  • Snark Tank

    I’ve actually been a freeloading freeloader, but I can’t NOT have babby pix on a regular basis, so I signed up for the AdFree version.
    ZOMG, how the FUCK did I not do this sooner? No more crashing on babby pictures, no more annoying wait time waiting for my dick jokes…It’s a wonderful day in the Snark Tank…

    • rebecca

      I keep trying to tell people everyone loves it.

      does anyone believe me?

      noooooooo!

  • natoslug

    Trying to sign up for Arcadia Power. Anyone make it past the “Link your electrical account” page? I’ve been watching the spinny progress bar for about an hour now . . .

  • h4rr4r

    I was a little saddened to see the congrats page did not call me an hero.
    I am a bad person.

    You should put up one of those how much money did we raise things.

  • SDGeoff

    You won’t hear from me because I am cancelling my disqus thing. But I will continue to send the support munneyz. And we all sincerely hope things will improve.
    Support Wonkette! It keeps you sane and laughing.
    I’ll miss Robyn. Just yesterday I was thinking about what a fabulous writer she is.

    • Candy Apple

      Noooooo don’t goooooo!

      • SDGeoff

        Thanks, but I do spend too much time on it, (and except for a couple of sites, like this one and Crooks and Liars, the pettiness and trollery are getting to me). I love the non-commenters here, and it will be difficult! But maybe after the new year,…we’ll see. Then again, I might be entering the purest of Wonkette zones, the ultimate non-comment!

  • Blank Ron

    I was told there’d be no accounting.

    • SDGeoff

      And no comments.

  • I Only Like Cats

    I actually have a little left over this month, and donated before I read don’t donate if your poor. So take my moneys. You’re going to have to put up with store bought cookies and potato chips from me tomorrow now though. ^^

  • cousin itt

    Coming to the aid of dick is a noble position to take.

    • Shan

      But never announce it in front of a roomful of co-workers.

      “Sorry, I had to go rescue Dick.”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Though, “Sorry, I had to go rescue Dick” might come across better than “I am coming to aid a dick…”

        • Shan

          True, but I actually SAID that the other day and didn’t realize how bad it sounded until everybody cracked up!

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Ahh!… Even better… An actual full-room Dick-saving announcement!

      • Berkeleybear94

        One of the nicest people you’ll ever meet was a gentleman named Richard who worked at my former law firm in Indiana. Played in a band, had a beard, loved to celebrate the oddities of patent law. Treated the people under him well – demanding but fair and generous when someone had a genuine problem.

        All of which led to the day when, after a very understanding and insightful conversation our bright, lovely 22 year old or so technical adviser (who later became a lawyer in the firm but had to overcome some significant gender bias as a woman in a technical field) announced (to an associate with a reputation as a hound dog) loud enough that I and half the floor could hear.

        “That’s why I love Dick!”

        She laughed about it – but it was certainly memorable.

  • Why am I Mr. Pink?

    I’m in for a monthly. Good snark/content costs money.

  • Brenda Hagel

    I hope I did a reoccurring monthly correctly!

  • weejee

    Hopefully I properly killed my olde PayPal Wonket and renewed at the atomantium rate, or the bozo rate, or whatever. Being an old I generally pay cash, but couldn’t find a way to stuff Ameros into Hal’s eye up top.

    • rebecca

      you did!

  • Notreelyhelping

    Sheesh, okay: I’ll go ad-free tonight. I don’t want to see Wonkette produced from a tent and using a hand-cranked generator. Just don’t take any Trump ads–the bastard never pays.

  • weejee

    At tomorrows meet-up at Golden Gardens, should we try to get the Wonket orca pod to come by and say hi?

    • rebecca

      yes. hi weejeee! hiiii!

  • Tin Kitty

    Well, now that I’ve registered for a Disqus and paid for a subscription, you’ll never get me to shut up! You’ll all miss the grand old days when Ms. Kitty was just a lurker :)

    • Candy Apple

      I like you already!

      • Tin Kitty

        Thank you, kind sweetened fruit :)

    • 9/11john

      Welcome, comrade!

    • Tacosinencinitas

      Meow! A chatty kitty!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    OK, I need to ask this…

    Who’s the hot babe posing with Donna Rose on the beach?

    • rebecca

      who? where?

    • MilitantAgnostic

      I think this is serious. Editrix is clearly skimping on food, she looks way more skinnier than before. Please send nutrition monies to Editrix.

      • Wes Grogan

        She obviously needs more KFC and taco bowls!

  • zerosumgame0005

    please hold out until the 21st and I get my next SS check! I will send you what I can!

  • Callyson

    Do you guys still get a cut if we order from the Amazon link with the Wonkettte tag, or is that no longer a thing?

    I’m tapped out but will see if I can come up with something this month. I love Robyn and hate the thought of losing her!

    • Logic of Color

      I keep forgetting to use the Amazon linky thingy

    • rebecca

      that tag looks right Callyson. You wanna order something and I’ll see if it showed up?

      • aureolaborealis

        I just this minute ordered sheet music using your linky. Do you actually get a notification?

        • rebecca

          no, but I can look in the back end and see what people ordered. Sadly, without your names attached :(

          • Wes Grogan

            Mmm… checking out the back end.

          • Candy Apple

            Those dildos weren’t mine.

      • Vienna Woods

        Does it work if I click through then switch to amazon.ca? Although I am some pissed at Amazon right now because with Canadian prime I cannot access videos ( hello man in the high castle) and I cannot do US prime it is not allowed. In other words, I cannot in any legal way access amazon video.

      • Chad

        I sort of feel personally responsible for your Amazon monies drying up. Until April I was buying lots and lots of stuff for my previous employer from Amazon and I always made sure to click through yr Wonkette before ordering.

      • Callyson

        Just ordered something two minutes ago. Hope this helps!

  • Mpeg

    I clicked on “Subscribe to fewer Ads,” didn’t fill anything out yet b/c I have questions about it; returned to read Robyn’s latest post and it will not load for me.
    Browser: Chrome 52.0.something

    Also I need to be able to cancel at any time, for if my employer catches me using this web site as much as I do, I will have No More Job thus no more income to pay with :

    • rebecca

      yes, you can always cancel any time; either at paypal, or I can cancel for you. (I can’t switch it to a different amount for you though, because that would be HAVOC.)

      Have no idea what to tell you about stupid Chrome. Remember when it was the light, fast browser that worked?

      • Jen B_VA

        There was such a time?

        • Wes Grogan

          It was a glorious three months or so.

      • SullivanSt

        Glad it’s not just me with Chrome!

        Not that Firefox is much betterer. But I do sometimes have to start opening my RawStory tabs in Firefox because poor widdle Chwome just can’t cope with four video-ad-heavy tabs at once, awwwwww.

      • Vienna Woods

        Still a better browser than IE.

      • Mpeg

        It must’ve been a fluke goof, because it got better. Yay! And really, this is not unlike a subscription to a “publication” or “magazine” like I used to do until Internet. I call it a worthy investment, esp when you throw in wonkville~

  • MamaBrown

    Wonkette Baby gives me life, so I will give munniez. I’m so sorry things are tough right now–hang in there and start counting that cash. I love you Wonkette!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Ponied up — buy some shoes for Babby and dick jokes for the rest of us!

  • aureolaborealis

    Serious question: If I pay the ad-fewer subscription AND I have ad-block, am still I fucking over my beloved Wonkette somehow?

    • Shan

      That’s what I’m wondering. Like, maybe there’s a tipping point where it makes Wonkette more money to have the ads run than it does to go ad-fewer at a really cheap-ass rate.

      • rebecca

        unless you’re clicking 10,000 times a month (and some of you do!), then no, you’re golden. And I’d rather save your browser from these fuckers any way I can.

        • Shan

          Thanks! I logged off the ad-fewer thing for a little while and only just now was able to sit upright again without feeling dizzy.

        • MississippiLefty

          So, if we click on the ads it gives you more $$? Because I could do that, I guess. (I also just subscribed. Ad Fewer is WAY better. Why didn’t I do that ages ago?)

          • jowgajen

            I think she means clicking over to Wonkette. The ads are a blight, and the site is much more enjoyable without them.

            As I am a numbers business nerd type, I’d be interested in whether these particular ads are a net benefit or not. They probably pay better than some per eyeball, but do they drive away enough casual traffic that they aren’t better than normal google ads? Or are they actually overall more effective because they drive heavy users (like me) to actually pony up monies?

        • h4rr4r

          Which ones should we click that often?

          Note, I am totally not talking about click fraud, I would never use PERL for evil.

    • rebecca

      not even at all!

    • Shan

      Just to be double-for-sure, I disabled ad-block on the Wonkette site. It still works fine with just the ad-fewer in place.

  • Raan

    Once I get my check for working the Florida senate primary, you are getting at least fifteen dollars. Possibly more if I get the payroll thing sorted out from my other temporary job.

  • SeekingBarbie

    I am still living on unemployment benefits, but I figure I spend so much time at Wonkette it keeps me from leaving the house and spending money, so I am now a Subscriber.

  • Bill Slider

    Not to worry, there is still time for Donna Rose to get her MBA at Wharton or Stanford before she starts kindergarten. Maybe I need to get serious about moving to Montevideo, Uruaguay and take up fishing. That would greatly improve my cash flow, as well as protect me from the deplorables.

  • RMKH

    Hey Fellow Wonkers- (spell check wanted to make that “Winners”!) – I just dropped a few bucks for the first time (I’m pretty new here) and encourage all of you to do the same. And if you can do it, how about a someone step up with yuuge buckolas to keep Robyn around? Because America! And because she’s the best!

  • Dolmance

    It’s so sad remembering children from poorer countries, having to get up in the morning and go to work without any dick jokes at all.

    That’s why I sent five bucks, for the first time ever last week.

    I also click on constantly, so I can keep up with the latest dick jokes.

  • anwisok

    I do use adblock at home, and I can’t do a sub because I’m kinda poor and can’t commit to it in case, like, the car breaks or something. BUT!: counting the donation I made at lunch, I’ve now given $100 since I arrived in December, so I think I’m not too horrible. Also too, I see (and click, sometimes) the ads when I’m at work, so there’s that, also too,

    • SullivanSt

      Hey $100 would cover an ad-fewer subscription for 20 months. And given the Official Editrix Stamp Of Approval on the ad-block-but-donate model, I’d say you’re golden.

  • chascates

    Redbubble has this most awesome T-shirt:

    • jowgajen

      Shirt gives too much credit to Rump.

  • Iron Monkey

    Ah, fuck. Here’s a C-note, will try to scrape up more. I am going to miss Robyn, just as I missed Sara K Smith, Juli Weiner, Liz Carpenter and, most of all, the OG Wonkette whose steps are currently ordered by the Lord (WTF), Ana Marie Cox. While most of them can still be found it was a rare treat to have one source for so many hot babes who write like angels. Maybe if I can come up with some real scratch I will pay for a partial rebranding along those lines.

    • Candy Apple

      I miss Snippy! And the awesome recipe posts, also too.

  • jowgajen

    I have upped the wonkette to the same level I am supporting Hillary, which is an entirely token amount.

    I cannot claim to be a poorz, but I am a woefully underfunded middle ager that needs to get my shit in order so I can continue to eat later in life, seeing as how I neglected to reproduce so can’t even count on ungrateful rugrats to begrudgingly care for me in my doddering time.

  • Objectifer

    Sent some shekels cuz we can’t have baby foraging for blackberries for basic sustenance.

    • Wes Grogan

      Just remember to link your Blackberries to official government servers and you should be fine. :)

  • GrunkaLunka

    We’re in. We’ve been sponging off you since Aught-dickety-four, and that’s long enough.

  • SullivanSt

    OK I upped my monthly subscription from the my-wife-won’t-complain-even-if-she-finds-out level of $1 to the eh-I-might-get-in-trouble-but-I-like-dick-jokes level of $10.

    I’ll even try to endure the ads a while longer. But I definitely reserve the right to F12-delete the more obnoxious ones ;)

  • dslindc

    I haz the Ad Fewer subscription (which is awesome, you should too!), but I will also stop doing Benghazi with my emails to add an extra donation. If there is one thing the world needs more of, it is dick jokes . . . and good journalism, also too.

  • It’s times like this that I wish I really was RichNWhite.

    Nonetheless, I’m upping my monthly stipend to wonkette.

  • dslindc

    One day if I have all the muneyz like a common MittBott, I will endow a Chair for Dick Jokes at the Wonkette dot com snark emporium™

  • sadboy

    Sorry to hear that Robyn will be leaving Wonkette. I wish her the best and hope I will see her byline again soon. And I promise to send money once I find permanent employment with sufficient disposable income.

  • James

    Well, I’ve been reading Wonkette for some time now, but rarely make a non-comment because the other non-commentators here are so much better at funny not commenting than I am.

    Since your mailing address is up there, I will send a check of a few Canadian pesos or Australian Euros or something. (How about a US check drawn in US funds?)

    Do I simply make the check out to Wonkette, as the address shows?

    I am afraid I cannot send a lot; my vet disability and my non-paying city councilmember position will only allow me to buy the dot over the letter I on the back of the Wonkebego (if you misspell George Soro’s name to include a letter I).

    I will do what I can though. I’ll see about getting that check in the mail tomorrow.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      I read on the other link to make it out to Rebecca Schoenkopf. I’d guess Wonkette would work, too.

      • James

        Thanks. I will make it out to Ms. Schoenkopf. I can imagine a bank teller asking “what’s a Wonkette?”

  • anwisok

    It’s raining, it’s pouring, my car window is stuck in the down position so it’s getting soaked inside. YAY ME!

    • SullivanSt

      Garbage bags are good for times like these. Especially in combination with waterproof masking tape.

      • anwisok

        Only if you get out to the car before the rains starts. it no stick good when the surface is already wet. :(

        • h4rr4r

          Cut it open and drape it over.

          • anwisok

            No frame, otherwise, good suggestion.

          • James

            That avatar is a hoot.

          • anwisok

            Theifed it off somebody at jalopnik. I thought it would fit in well around here. Makes it hard to blend in when I concern troll WND or whatever, though.

          • James

            How the heck do you concern-troll World Net Daily? I cannot fathom any way you could do that, other than suggesting people following Alex Jones should check their Obamacare coverage to see if wingnuttery can be cared for by a psychiatrist.

          • anwisok

            If someone says something about how they don’t really *like* trump, but he’s better than Hillary – that’s my “in.” Then it’s all, “I can sympathize. It really sucks when there’s noone you can actually *support,* and have to settle, blahblahblah.”

    • Sister Artemis

      I had a difficult-to-diagnose leak for a long time (I know, different than a broked window, but still very soaking wet) and got my tarping down pat for quite a stretch. I recommend water jugs to hold down a tarp, when in the parked position.

    • Axomamma

      When you get it back up, I recommend the duct tape that has nylon threads in it. The regular duct tape has to be replaced more often, at least in fucking Arizona.

      • h4rr4r

        Gorilla tape or GTFO.

      • anwisok

        I need a switch for it. Should be easy, right? Nooooooooooo. Model specific, was only used for 2 years, in a low production car. So, I have to find somebody who’s parting one out, because I ain’t gonna find one in the local junkyard.

      • Historicat

        Packing tape – you can see through it …

        • Axomamma

          No, no, you need to get the stuff with the nylon threads — doesn’t matter if it’s see through, because you’re not taping across the entire window. You’re just using the tape to secure the closed window to the frame. I’d take a picture but it’s too many steps for me to run outside with my tablet, then get the photo into my laptop, and I’m hungry. Trust me on this – normal packing tape ain’t going to cut it. You have to use the stuff with the nylon threads.

  • rollickingmadcapfarce

    Long, longtime satisfied lurker. Signed up to help out.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    How about an IPO where shares of vanity stock are issued? No voting rights but community owned and supported? Like the Green Bay Packers? Par Value say…….$1?

    • James

      Vanity stock? Are those sort of like cattle with hand mirrors?

      • ahughes798

        Nah, that would be horses. Horses think they’re the shit.

    • Vienna Woods

      I would love to be a Wonkette shareholder!

    • h4rr4r

      There has to be a dick joke on the old timey paper stock certificate.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Rebecca–how do I increase my ad-fewer? I’m still on the introductory price, and will gladly increase it, but I can’t figure out how. something about cancelling Paypal, but I don’t use paypal because PP hates me?

    • Logic of Color

      Click on “Members” at the top, “Manage your Subscription”, then “Edit My Information”. You’ll see where you can pull down and select other amounts.
      Sorry I’m not Rebecca.

      • zerosumgame0005

        she isn’t!

        BA da BOOM

        I’ll be here all week folks! try the veal and tip the wait staff!

        • zerosumgame0005

          too soon, so sad she had to go :(

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Yes, I found that. There’s some weird thing about Paypal, and I don’t pay through PP, I pay directly through my credit card. I’m sorry you’re not Rebecca, too.

  • Vagendadentacohontas

    Alright Editrix, I am sending my beer monies (ok, not ALL of it, but I can downgrade to Hamm’s for you). It will be in the pony express box because I like to practice my cursive.

    • zerosumgame0005

      now THAT is sacrifice my friend!

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        Desperate times and whatnot. DR cannot survive on roadside blackberries alone!

        • Wes Grogan

          As long as you don’t get down to PBR or Beast level. I doubt the Editrix wants you to suffer THAT much for her needs.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            If it comes down to Natty Ice I’ll just grab a tin cup and collect alms from the local microbreweries down the street. But that would require me to put down teh Wonkette and put on pants, so let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

  • Vienna Woods

    It’s great to see all the lurkers emerging into the sunlight!
    And seriously, wonkette is saving my sanity today. Hanging out with my 91 year old mother today who I love dearly but being very much in dementia, carries on convos with tv (at 100 vol because she refuses to wear hearing aid) rather than daughters and today it is the weather network so same stories every 10 mins. I am hiding over on my sister’s side of the house doing nothing but Wonkette and twitter on my phone. Which is at 47% power so it is one of the takers. Anyway, thanks Wonkette for making this day less of a misery.

    • Shan

      Yess!!!

    • More cult members!

      • Amy!

        <voice character=”Vader”>Come to the snark side. It is your destiny.</voice>

      • Vienna Woods

        One of us! One of us!

  • Sister Artemis

    About those of us who use Ad-Blockish stuff – I highly recommend NOT blocking everything here, because the inhouse ads are awesome (social realism rules!), and also you just never know what fun might ensue by clicking on some boobalicious babe featured in an ad for god only knows what (hemorrhoid cream? nipple tassles? eleventy thousand ways to make money by not shaking your booty?). I pretty much block a frame or two here, instead of everything (looking at you, Hufffuckinton Post!), if it becomes a problem child in viewing yer Wonkette.

    I signed up the other day for a small monthly donation, and will up that a bit when I can. Support your Wonkette, folks! Doesn’t take much, makes you feel good in your warm fuzzy parts, and it’s pretty damn easy.

    Also, too, those zebra suits aren’t going to buy themselves, let alone paychecks to wonderful writers. Let’s all pitch in!

  • Belasaurius

    how much to have Wonkette sponsored by Belisaurius for one day?

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      $15K / 30 days = $500 right?

      • h4rr4r

        This a good plan!

    • Wes Grogan

      Wonkasaurius has a good ring to it.

  • I think i have made the donation…i sent $45? I hope?

    • proudgrampa

      Was that $45 Canadian?

      • James

        Or maybe £45 Canadian?

  • James

    Working over my finances now . . . cut down to even cheaper bourbon to mix with strawberry Kool-Aid (I drink in the day because I sleep at night) . . . carry a cigarette . . . save gas money by cutting my lawn less often . . . divide by the loud argument I’ll have with my Libertarian wife over sending anything more valuable than a tumbleweed (she does the finances but I can talk her into it because she likes Wonkette’s dick jokes and has actually tried a few of the recipes here) . . . make sure I budget for the cat’s insulin shots . . . raid my piggy bank . . .

    I think I can send a $50 or so donation your way. (I can’t do a recurring subscription with a credit card . . . I don’t like recurring subscriptions and I would need a credit card as well and my neighbour won’t loan me his.) I’ll just make it a cheque and call it a donation to the folk that are helping me stay sane in this never-ending Dumpster fire of an election.

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Don’t forget having the neighborhood kid cut your hair. Much cheaper. Pro tip: cover your mirrors first.

      • James

        Haircut? I don’t do those. Much cheaper. I am the (elected!) liberal hippie on my city council (well, our city is incorporated, all 128 of us) in an overwhelmingly conservative town.

        The last time I had my hair cut was three years ago in the town bar for a fundraiser for the village public library (several thousand dollars were raised just to see me get my head shaved to make me look “respectable” — a couple people even went around the county getting pledges).

    • h4rr4r

      Evan Williams, black.

      • James

        How’d you guess what I am drinking right now? Dayum, I need to tape over my laptop camera. Reminds me, I need to get a refill, be right back.

        • h4rr4r

          Because it is the best cheap bourbon known to man.

          Stupid had to stop drinking, cause of my stomach hating me.

          • James

            I’m not supposed to drink at all, because of my epilepsy meds. The crap thrown out about Hillary Clinton having seizures made me downright angry. (My wife had to put up with me yelling about that for at least a week, but she said nothing because she knows what a real seizure looks like.)

            The VA “tut-tuts” me over the alcohol, though I actually am a pretty light tippler. If I don’t pace myself, I’ll end up like Marilyn Monroe.

          • h4rr4r

            I was drinking too much too often and my stomach decided to teach me a lesson. I guess better than ending up with real problems.
            Now if the Canucks would just go ahead and make their legal changes, that would make for a nice weekend getaway.

          • James

            My wife and I went to Churchill, Manitoba in July. She planned the trip so we would be out of the country during the Republican National Convention (to be out of the blast radius).

            Every time we cross the border from Saskatchewan to Montana coming home (though our last trip we didn’t do that) we get asked if we’re carrying guns.

            I always want to answer “C’mon, man, this is a Smart car, and who needs to smuggle guns to Montana?”

  • in the name of the moon

    Robyn is my soulmate she’s never met. I appreciate those who appreciate fine conspiracy videos and angelfire-style webpages. I haz a big sad.

    • AngryKatie

      I didn’t even think of that part. I’d never have known about Gail Chord Schuler if not for Robyn. Am I going to have to seek out ever more fringe conspiracy videos for myself now?

  • dxyseilc

    Grifters gonna grift.

    • James

      There’s conservative grifting (Sarah Palin setting up a so-called Sarah TV only to shutter it a few weeks after getting a lot of money) and liberal grifting (you get something for your money)

  • Belasaurius

    what about a dating app for Wonketeers, we could call in Winder. I would already know that any of the ladies using it enjoy dick jokes and poverty.

    • Belasaurius

      and I’m already in love with several of the ladies here already and possibly some of the guys

    • James

      How about OK Wonkers? Might be too close to someone else’s trademarked name.

      Perhaps “SnarkLovers International.”

      • Jen B_VA

        Vile Nasty Snark Mob not good for a dating site?

        • James

          Come for the snark, leave with a spouse. (Whether it is your spouse or someone else’s is up to you.)

          • Sister Artemis

            Love the one yer with?

          • James

            Just love them all. Keeps you from having to remember names and such.

      • Paganish

        “SnarkAttack”? “SnarkBite”?

    • rebecca

      Shy made you all a classified section; we never put it up. we need to do that ASAP.

      • Sister Artemis

        OMG OMG OMG I may finally find a forever home for my bunnies and possibly a few stray appliances! Also, dating? you never know….

      • Shan

        We could sell stuff and donate proceeds to Wonkette!

        • h4rr4r

          And make funny posts about free crab sticks.

          • James

            That is almost as monstrous as canned clams.

          • h4rr4r

            What do you have against model trains?

          • Tacosinencinitas

            That’s enough of that.

          • James

            Well, we’re not talking recipes with allergens in them.

        • Señor Skwerl

          I have some “art photos” I send out unsolicited.

          • Shan

            But do people offer you money in return or just restraining orders?

      • Tacosinencinitas

        Well, you I hope you saw my pathetic recitation of my online dating fails. I failed so bad I deleted the account this weekend because the fuckers on there are all NORMAL or something. Hurry up.

    • Shan

      Yeah, but the only option would be Swipe Left.

      • James

        Good thing I didn’t have a cell phone and there was no such thing as Tinder when my (now) wife found me on a specialised dating service . . . on the other hand, she did her part to reduce the problem of homeless veterans in the country (she married me)

    • Axomamma

      I don’t know that I’d say I ENJOY poverty.

  • I’ve been sending you $5 a month for quite a while, but I never joined as an official member. You may remember, I’m the one who said Shy looked like a Creamsicle at the wedding. Now I have joined and am sending you two separate payments of $5 a month. We’re not rolling in money, in fact my wife and I are struggling right now, but I can’t live without my Wonkette.

    • James

      I’ve been mainlining Wonkette. I need to pay up before my dealer comes to break my kneecaps.

      • Wes Grogan

        “First article is free” will get ya every time.

    • Lambsendbeds

      You need to join to become an official member? I’ve been a regular contributor on the PayPal for a while. I haz a confuse…

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    OT:

    It was 50 years ago today,
    The Monkees pretended to play
    They’ve been going in and out of style
    And missed being cool by a mile
    So let me introduce to you,
    The act you’ve groaned all these years
    Mickey, Michael, Peter and Davy Jooooones.

    • ahughes798

      Monkees Libelz!11!!1

    • Sister Artemis

      Monkees LOVE!!!!!1!!!!1!!11!!!!

  • AngryKatie

    When your server blew up I made a special donation, and then 2 hours later got laid off from my job.
    It was a terrible, soul killing job, and I hated it very very much. You got a new server. I got a severance check and an extended vacation filled with day drinking and living in pajamas while on the gubmint tit.

    I’m hoping that lightening will strike twice, so after making a donation I went out and bought lotto tickets.

    • anwisok

      Sounds like a sensible retirement plan.

    • Candy Apple

      Don’t forget Wonkette when you win!

      • AngryKatie

        I have always wanted to be a wealthy benefactor.

  • Iam Reading

    I’ll send, but please, please, please don’t ever Dox me.

    • rebecca

      first tell me your social security number.

      • James

        123-45-6789

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          Wait!!!! That’s mine.

          • James

            I know. You don’t think I would post mine here? I’ve had to change it three times already because of my stalker ex-wife. If I gave mine up I would expose my Witness Protection Programme details.

          • Jen B_VA

            That’s amazing! It’s the same as the combination on my matched luggage!

          • James

            I use all zeros on my luggage . . . no one would ever suspect that.

          • vivian

            I use mostly h’s and z’s just throw people off. Oh wait, I’ve got the damn thing upside down again.

          • Teecha

            I had the codes to my friend’s TSA approved luggage locks, but for some reason they didn’t work. I opened them with a hair pin. I close my cases with a pipe cleaner these days.

            I know this is irrelevant. Meh.

          • sw19tacotruck

            I use 987654321 because I am such an anti-establishment rebel!

      • Iam Reading

        42. The check is in your face and I wont……wait, how does that go? 4 realz, check, cause I still pay bills that way, cause old, and in some weird ways, a little conservative.

  • Courser

    I signed up for ad-less version on Saturday. Hope it helps. I’ll try to increase it for next month but I’m pretty tapped right now.

  • Vagendadentacohontas

    Does this Paypal thing like work the fountains at the mall where I get to make a wish for tossing change and then some damn teenager is gonna try and be all funny and grab up my quarters?

    • vivian

      Pretty much, minus the teenager part… and the fountain… and the mall

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        Good. Then I wish those fuckers would STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!1!11!

        Also too, I hope all the ameros getting tossed around this place are enough to keep Wonkette in my box!

  • WIDTAP

    Rebecca, if you are going to compete with the weirdo right, you need to start financing like the weirdo right. Praise capitalism all you want, but get greedy and build an endowment that covers the basic costs of Wonkette.

    Sure, you may say, “But I can barely cover this month’s rent. How am I ever going to convince these cheap bastards who think snark is free?” Well, how does a political campaign get tens of millions of dollars? If you think in small dollars, you get small dollars. Think in bigger dollars, and how to get bigger dollars will come. For example, this appeal is fine, but you need to get hooked up as a non-profit (officially, not just on the books) and meet up with some serious bundlers to lay down a basic endowment fund to keep the lights on.

    Remember those famous words:
    “Madam President, we must not allow a comment board gap!”
    – General “Buck” Turgidson

    • Redgyal

      Good advice.

  • James

    Without a doubt, this is one of the funniest news analysis sites on the Interweb. I challenge all the folk who find this place to be a pool of sanity in a very crazy world to consider pitching something in: I imagine our esteemed editrix would accept even a single donation of $1.

    Or to rip off Wikipedia: “If everyone who reads this site donated $3, this fundraiser would be over in an hour.”

  • ShinyBlueThing

    I’m a poor, but I kick into the ad fewer and still, sometimes let the ads bog down my poor-people rural internet connection on purpose anyway.

    • Wes Grogan

      I dream of a day when everyone is able to get onto the internet without having to wait for someone to get off the phone first.

      • ShinyBlueThing

        We have non-dialup, it’s rural wireless (yay future and the town I’m in letting them put up a broadcast node tower next to the water tower!), but if our neighbors are watching netflix or updating windows, or playing xbox, it’s about as useful as dialup.

        • James

          I live three blocks from our rural cell tower (which means I have no coverage – that tower is only good for about two hundred yards).

          Yes, I have a landline with a dial telephone, which is my Internet connexion. (So do most of the people in town, since landlines and dial telephones work when the power goes out on the High Plains.)

          • ShinyBlueThing

            Oh, it’s just wireless internet, not mobile. They have this tower that has a big wireless router on it, and I’m not sure how that talks to the main one at their office. It might be wired from there. They have fancier plans where you can use extra bandwidth and download stuff and watch HD videos, but we can’t afford those.

            Yeah, I know the rural mobile no-phone-zone. We tried the Urban Hipster No Landline thing for about a month after moving back home to 850-people-no-stoplightsville from being a Military Family. I had to drive four miles out to the highway to get cell service, or go to my mom’s to use her landline, so many times just to make phonecalls that we said “fuck this” and just got a landline. That said, the landline isn’t useful for dialup because the lines are shitty here (for some reason our local phone exchange box gets hit by lightning a LOT) and about half the time you can hear neighbors talking or squirrels chewing on the wires or whatever.

          • James

            Our local central office had an equipment failure and we had no Internet service in the village for two weeks.

            Another time a drunk driver (not from here) ran his car into a telephone pole and knocked out the telephone system for three weeks, (It takes some time to get the telephone company out here to fix stuff.)

  • Axomamma

    Well, this was certainly effective. I’m been meaning to donate for quite a while but I’m poor as fuck. But when YOU GUYS NEED SOME MUNIES, what can I do but start contributing! You’ve got mine, monthly.

  • redarmyzombie

    Unfortunately, I am a poor with no monies, but I could provide, ahem, “alternative” means of payment…

    • James

      Use someone else’s credit card?

      • redarmyzombie

        Sorry, I should have prefaced by saying I’m not a Republican.

        • James

          Or Lyndon LaRouche. . . .

          • vivian

            Do you work at Wells Fargo?

  • Astraea

    I am personally having a challenging time with some garnishments (TALK ABOUT EMBARASSING) but I’m so happy with my ad fewer subscription. I hope that very soon I can make it larger. Wonkette is saving my sanity this year. I’m so sorry to hear that Robyn will be leaving :(

  • B0rchkins

    I’ve stopped lurking, and send you monies every month. I also bought a game and a tee-shirt. Hope it helps. You keep me sane.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      As a lurker-not-lurker, I encourage fellow lurkettes to post! From time to time. Don’t worry about the upfisting, the days of ineffable p-ness size are gone ( I was forever doomed at 88 for a couple of years, fucking algorithms) Say something, upvote, taunt tease fabreze. When the trolls pop up take a tasteful, witty shot, but don’t unload the last five sessions you had with Dr. Therapy. Save that for the holidays.

  • malsperanza

    $15/mo. Will see how long I can keep that up. Saving most of my extra dollars in October for GIVING TO SENATORS because they are apparently poor and underpaid, or something. ???

  • ThundercatHo

    The check is in the mail, for reals.

  • Whale Chowder

    K. Just doubled down on my subscription. Ad Fewer FTW!

    Also Too, I’m gonna make the Drinky Thing yay1!

    • 9/11john

      Drink til it hurts!

      Er, something . . .

  • Jen B_VA

    Sooooo with new gig I tried to do the Pay Palin and it messed with me and is still messing with me (now it won’t let me cancel it? So I can do a new one? Because reasons? I will get it) and then put it off because it is a pain in the ass and I am so sorry about that.
    ANNNYYYwaaayyy I R paid Friday; I will send check on Wed so that money will be there Friday and you will haz monies for immediate disposals. The minute the pay pal stops being gross I will switch from the snail mailing to the legit monthly.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I have been trying to get PayPal to stop being gross for years (in fact I think I just figured out that my inaccessible PP account predates cell phones, not kidding). Once they fuck with you, I think you’re fucked.

      • Shan

        Huh. I’ve used them for years (not for much, but just over a long period of time) and never had any problem. That I know of…

        • sw19tacotruck

          Absolutely, I use Paypal all the time now (actually got two accounts one for UK bank and the other for Canada). They’ve definitely got their shit together now, but I think people are put off if they’ve got a grandfathered-in issue.

      • sw19tacotruck

        I had a few stand-up rows with them, by email, then phone, then email, and finally a phone call and got my old dial-up account closed (which never worked properly tbh), so it’s all good now.
        However, I troubleshoot for a living, so have no problem being on the phone for an hour at a time and/or being a stubborn womble/tacotruck.
        I would definitely vouch for scrubbing your old account and start again online.

    • I seem to recall that any paypal issues can be resolved by contacting Rebecca directly at her at wonkette email address.

  • James

    Well, I just took my meds (way late). They make me very sleepy and stupid. I presume no one here is interested in sleepy (Ben Carson has that covered) or stupid (Donald Trump for that), so perhaps I ought to meander off to bed before I get run off with a basket of pitchforks and torches.

    • Sister Artemis

      or votes. watch out for marauding votes!

      • James

        My marauding votes would get lost in the cattle pastures and cornfields here.

        We have mail voting in Nebraska, same as Oregon. I wonder if I can mail a basket of marauding votes.

    • Brendan_M

      If you’re all pilled-up, people will just assume your nonsensical comments are a parody of trolls, so no harm done!

      Just be sure to throw in a racial conspiracy or two to change complete the impersonation.

  • The Witch of Endor

    Just re-upped my subscription. Sorry for the delay and if I find some spare change, I’ll try to send additional funds. I’ll also talk to the family about what to get me for my birthday & Christmas. (Is it Wonkette Swag? Yes. Yes it is.)

    • James

      Wouldn’t that be something, if everyone in your family opened their presents and everyone got Wonkette swag for gifts?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Thanks. I now have an image of my MIL in those panties. Have to go wash my brain out with rubbing alcohol now brb

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Thanks for the PO Box #! Nice to meet you all at the drinky thing. (Edit: disabled the ad-block for us all) Yesterday’s catch:

    • sw19tacotruck

      Nice! Is that a Spring or a Chum?
      I’m still trying to learn to identify them all, so apologies if I am completely off base.

      • Tacosinencinitas

        Um, I think it’s a fish. And a knife. A fish and a knife. What do I win?

  • Tacosinencinitas

    I”m not going to whine about how bad I am at munneez but I will never stop contributing to this website and Kiva even if I am living in a cardboard box. Btw – I would give more but I AM TERRIBLE AT MUNNEEZ! I’m so mad at myself! Fuck!

    • Sister Artemis

      I have also been terrible at munneezz but have slowly learned a bit here and there over the years, and from wiser souls than I, and I think it’s been waaaay over a couple years since I bounced a check, or got a late fee. Things Get Better, and one of the more helpful “get your munny brain on track” thingies was goofy ol’ Suze Orman’s “Nine Steps to Financial Freedom” – lots of key tools for figuring out what works, understanding what went wrong, and how to pay things off. Also a shit ton of ethics in there. It dates from her Guest On Oprah days, but still useful.

    • James

      I don’t recommend cardboard boxes. I have had the pleasure. Try to at least live in a car . . . cardboard boxes are harder to get Internet service in.

      • Wes Grogan

        Worst case scenario, look for a box that has wax lining. It holds up WAY better.

      • Tacosinencinitas

        Thank you, James. It hurts my heart to picture that, as I might have a son in the same situation (don’t know, haven’t heard from him in months). I’m glad you live indoors now.

        • Shan

          Damn, you guys. And here I was depressed about how badly I need to mop and vacuum. I will go home now and not mind the sticky jelly and juice spots my kids get all over my kitchen floor.

          • Tacosinencinitas

            Teach them to work for what they want. Love, Someone Who Knows

          • Shan

            Well, my son is the worst culprit and honestly I’d rather mop the kitchen floor than mow the lawn, which is his job. But by the same token, I don’t make it harder for him by lobbing sticks and bricks out there during the week.

  • James

    Last cheap bourbon and Kool-Aid, then bed. You guys and gals are wearing me out.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Just sent $50 your way.

  • Señor Skwerl

    My foundation will donate if I get a painting of myself at half-off wholesale.

    -Donald Trump

    • anwisok

      No problemo, Donnie. Wholesale is $5 mil, so as soon as we get the 2.5, your painting will be on its way!

  • phaedo

    If it were not for this site, I do not think my brain could function normally. My subscription lapsed a month or so ago, and now this. Any correlation of these facts is purely speculative. So very sad to see Robyn go, she is one hell of a writer, and I trust she will do fine all things considered. I do not comment much on Wonkette (or anywhere really), but on this site the comments and the persons who support this mommyblog are among the most insightful, funny, intelligent and snarky w/purpose anywhere. To Editrix, Dok and Evan I reinstated my subscription and also donated $$ independent of it. I hope it helps even just a bit. The world would be darker than it already is without Wonkette.

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    I will give you more moniez when I get home from the works and the schools. I do use an ad blocker for more reasons than wonkette (children click the weirdest things) so that’s not going away. Pero, I would pay a monthly fees to get into the Wonkette champagne room.

    I imagine it is a place where we can be extra terrible people and also lacks old people music that was used as torture torture devices on me as a child. Oh a girl can dream!

    • Shan

      You can disable the ad-blocker just for the Wonkette site. It will still be active everywhere else.

      • The Disqus seems to work better with the ad block disabled, as well. At least it does for me. YMMV.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          The load time improvement is worth it, especially if you’re working at work ?

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        Is much easier to just give wonkette monies and keep the ad blocker which is also supported by internet users like me! That and it helps disquis be less shittastic especially on music torture days.

        • Shan

          Good idea. I should put it back on for the muzicpaloozic times. Even my snappy new work laptop can’t handle all those videos. THANK YOU!

  • Señor Skwerl

    I donated and all I got was buttsechs forever!

    • Señor Skwerl

      But my ads disappeared. Now how will I find hood ornaments for my 18-wheeler?

      • Tacosinencinitas

        Look under the truck nutz.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I am a money-raiser for a living, for my sins. Ever thought of creating a Wonkette Foundation for the purpose of journamalising in a (deliberately) charitable way, in addition to the for profit (ish) site? This would make you eligible for grants, and I think you guys could make a case.

    • sw19tacotruck

      Are there rules regarding bias in the U…. HAHAHA!! Sorry almost finished typing that with a straight face :P

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Yes, but fundraisers know where all the bodies are buried, so we get away with a lot. See also: Trump Foundation.

    • Axomamma

      Are you volunteering to do the grant writing? (Yes, please do.)

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I could be convinced. Would want to talk about how a np Wonkette would work, and you pretty much have to have operated for a full year as a np before you’re eligible for most funding.

  • Aquaria

    I signed up as a poor ($1/mo). So not a 99 center. Do I still sign up as a member or no?

    • rebecca

      no need!

  • Axomamma

    “Buttsechs forever and ever, Amen.”

    Promises, promises. But I’ll take what I can get.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Done…

  • AndyC316

    FUCK me running — I did the paypal but how do I activate add free subscription?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Log in.

      • AndyC316

        BUT I DID!!

        • Shan

          Might have to get it activated via Wonkette Central first?

    • When done properly, you will get an amuzing graphic of HAL from that freaky drug movie at the top of the page with the words, “Good afternoon, Dave” on it.

      I don’t remember if it took a little time for it to start working for me, or not.

      If the problem continues, Shy can fix you up real quick-like.

      • AndyC316

        Alrighty — I see HAL but idk — I’ll shoot off an e-mail :|

        • There are still a FEW ads, all of which are static, stay politely on the side and don’t load up bouncy graphics or videos what grind your browser to a fine powder that blows away in a light breeze.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s not completely ad free, but all the ads are static and directly Wonk-related.

    • rebecca

      Andy, we’re having a clusterfuck with the logins. the plugin did a stealth update and never told us. Shy is working on it now!

      • Courser

        Ah, okay. Thanks! Once it’s up and running, I’ll log in and increase my monthly for you. And Friday I’ll buy some crap, okay. Seriously, I wish I could do more.

      • AndyC316

        Aw hey–no worries! Imma wait it out :)

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    OK…but I’m asking a lot of my swear jar these days.

    • vivian

      Happily, a mere glance at the day’s headlines and your jar should
      be restocked.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Just saw idiot wingnut comment on facebook; “you reap what you sew”. Swear jar restocking in progress.

        • Sister Artemis

          for me, usually it’s that I rip what I sew….

          • vivian

            maybe the wing nut was Italian?

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Sewing and ripping, sewing and ripping and ripping, sewing sewing sewing… That’d be me

          • Shan

            Well, you wouldn’t HAVE that problem if you just went commando.

          • Tacosinencinitas

            I’m a quilter too!

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Right? Correct is “you rip what you sow” Honestly, those people.

  • BetsyBleedingheart

    I’m sad that I can’t donate more than I do. But I turned off Ublock for this site, so.

    Please don’t leave me before coming to Richmond again.

  • Redgyal

    Maybe you should sue someone for posting a sex tape.

  • vivian

    If only comments were allowed then we could charge by the comment. I know, I know, “Pay-to-play” and all that, but if we don’t charge for Freedom of Expression then what kind of capitalist pigs are we?

    • Vagendadentacohontas

      Brilliant! I nominate you to be our leader! Now, grab a pillow and go off Scalia again, just to be sure.

  • Aniline

    I signed up for recurring donations and *enabled* the ads. 371 ad requests. Duuuuude.

    Anyone knows how to tell NoScript to whitelist a website and everything it loads? “Temporary enabling” takes several passes each page, and enabling ad scripts permanently is obviously a nope. (I suppose I can Allow Scripts Globally while I’m here and disallow then again when I’m done.)

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Do ad-freeish. It’s really great.

  • ViveLaTacoTruck

    Done.

  • Quercus

    Would be blubbering mess without Wonkette so have kicked in some more moneyz.

    • Sister Artemis

      Doesn’t Obamacare support 4 mental health visits a year? I think the Wonkasphere would qualify for a lot of us!

    • Candy Apple

      I’m telling you, if Trump wins, Wonkette will be one of the only things keeping me sane. I had Keith Olbermann during the Bush years, but his delightful screeds are gone now. Wonkette deserves money just for the mental health services they provide.

  • Shan

    Buy the tee-shirts! They make you have Lucy Lawless boobs and everyone asks why you have a dominatrix picture on your front-parts! Best conversation starter ever!

    http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/3914/2185/original.jpg

    • Callyson

      The Hillary “I Was Born to Do This” one has nice soft fabric and is quite the conversation opener. And shipping is MUCH faster than from hillaryclinton.com (seriously, Hillz, your people need to fix that shit!)

      • Shan

        I think I want the panties next.

        • Jonny On Maui

          That’d be one hella party outfit!

          • Jen B_VA

            Halloween costume.

          • Shan

            Brrrrrr!

          • Shan

            TBH it took me a while to work up to posting it but I thought…If it helps raise money, why not!

            No, I will NOT model the panties.

          • h4rr4r

            Are you trying to make money or not?

          • Shan

            Um…There are plenty of pictures at the Bazaar already!

          • BrianW

            Oh Shan…. Yeah, that’s all I better say.

          • PortTaiLand

            Pussy!

          • Shan

            I saw that picture already and just GAH!

          • H0mer0

            “Take yo panties off…”
            [chorus: “we don’t got no panties on…]

    • TJ Barke

      Seems more like a conversation distracter…

      • Shan

        You know how if you get a selfie wrong and it makes your nose look like Jimmie Durante’s? It’s kinda like that…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    This is the saga of a daylong attempt to send muneez to La Wonkette, on the sly, since my boss decided that the best seat in the house was the one next to me where she could see my computer screen, and I had to keep toggling tabs (can you tell I’m a professional writer?) so it would look like I’m “working.” We won’t even go into why my boss decided to work at my house today, “between meetings” and then stayed here FOR SIX HOURS.

    My iniquity was such that the tab I was toggling to was my personal email, where I was conferring with the most holy BVM (Blessed Vagenda of Manocide, aka Trix) about how Paypal hates me and has always hated me. Apparently, however, I had made it work, because they are getting money from me for Ad-Freeish. But I couldn’t sign in without them sending a text to my phone, which they only had my land line because apparently I have had that Paypal account since 1952, before there were cell phones, when there were wolves in Wales.

    I cancelled my local NPR monthly gift so I could afford it, and promised to send Trix paper money every month. I even made myself a “bill” and stuck it in my “bills folder.” (a piece of yellow foolscap written on in crayon and magneted to my fridge).

    But then I decided to try ONE MORE TIME and clicked on the linky in the sidebar. Lo and behold, it worked.

    Trix, you are now getting monthly NPR extortion dollars, because while NPR makes me throw things, you make me laugh. Blessed Be.

    The End.

    • jmk

      Hey! I also too have canceled my NPR stipend in favor of Wonkette because Wonkette knows better than to employ Cokie Roberts. Also, the dick jokes on Wonkette are better, and when creepshow wingnuts show up in the comments (which are not allowed), we are allowed to respond appropriately.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    There once was a place named Wonkette
    Where Donna Rose was the star on the set
    No comments were seen
    Dick jokes in between
    The picture of kittens mods would let

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      I will keep writing limericks until you donate…….

      • msanthropesmr

        You should threaten to talk about being on the school board. That might get people to donate.

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          Public Schools. A good topic. When I was on the school board……..

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    I have an aversion to BOTH Paypal and paper checks. All day I have been working the nerve to donate through the former and write one of the latter. YELL AT ME!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      See my saga, below.

    • Candy Apple

      GODDAMMIT, JEFF, WONKBABBY NEEDS MOAR TOYS, AND ALSO TOO, SO DO SHY, EDITRIX, EVAN, DOK AND ROBIN! EMPTY YOUR FUCKING POCKETS!!!1!

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        thanks, I needed that!

        • Candy Apple

          Glad to help!

          • BrianW

            Good work!

    • msanthropesmr

      I’ll donate in your name. Send me a check or buy me dinner the next time I see you.

      • msanthropesmr

        I just donated some monies for you.

        • Candy Apple

          This is why communism is better.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        No, I figured out that if you click just donate, you can pay by CC without logging into Payhell…….

        • Jen B_VA

          YOU CAN?????
          Edit: nm, keeps trying to route me to the pal of paying.

    • Jonny On Maui

      “GET OFF YER FREAKIN’ ASS AND SEND SOME MONEY!!”

      The roadrunner sent me…

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        meeep…..he just bit my ass…..

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      OK, there has been a donation made through channels. The Cayman bank did not recognize the routing at first. But I diverted it through Mexico, across the wall and into a Wells Fargo account in the US. All legit. I learned it in the Art of the Deal.

      • msanthropesmr

        Can you claim Donna Rose as a tax exemption now? If not, yer doin it rong.

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          I am claiming Donna AND Rose, so I get two.

  • Dg Hacket

    Im going to divert some of the budget earmarked for hookers and blow to contribute to the cause. Starting Thursday.

  • Callyson

    BTW, it rocks being a monthly supporter. No gross “Guess which celebrities had wardrobe malfunctions” articles or anything like that…

    …unless, you know, you like that sort of thing. Who am I to judge?

    • msanthropesmr

      AOTK?

    • Duke

      You’re demonizing working people!

  • Jonny On Maui

    Can I just say that the little dude part of my brain screams bloody murder that I pay to not see boob ads?

    • Callyson

      You could always pay, but then never log in, or log out when you want to see those. Sometimes when I am at work and am concentrating on my duties fucking around, I check in with Wonkette without bothering to log in. The boobs are still there, you’ll be glad to know.

      • Jonny On Maui

        It’s okay. I try not to listen to the little dude part of my brain, he’s an asshole.

        • Shan

          As long as you don’t let him take over your keyboard, should be okay.

          • Jonny On Maui

            There are times where it’s a struggle… ;-)

          • Jen B_VA

            I for one would like to witness that. For science.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I clobber him once or twice with the bong and it’s no contest.

        • But not because he likes boobs, surely. I mean, who doesn’t like boobs?

          • Shan

            Heck, even I like boobs!

          • Tacosinencinitas

            I’ve had a rockin good time with mine and they kept a baby alive for 8 months!

          • Shan

            Whee, yeah! They’re amazing! But it’s nice, post-babby sustaining, when you can get them back to yourself and not worry about things like being out grocery shopping and soaking your shirt every time you hear a stranger’s baby cry.

          • DemmeVagenda

            …And that feeling that everyone wants a piece of you.

          • Tacosinencinitas

            Hahaha! I still remember the sensation of a letdown.

    • PortTaiLand

      If needed, there are other places on the interwebs for bewbs.
      So I heard from a friend.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Donate to Wonkette today,
    So tomorrow we can continue to play
    Donna Rose needs new shoes
    Losing Robyn gives me the blues
    It’ll brighten Rebecca each day

  • TJ Barke

    Y’all should try the patreon. Works for youtube kiddies.

  • Ed Itable

    Ed Itable, formerly “bitchincamaro”, joining your “Basket of Adorables” and gang-banging the Pay Pal creeps with money for the license to snark renewal effort.

    Whatever happens, live long and prosper.

    • msanthropesmr

      Donuts on my neighbors lawn.

  • Callyson

    OT alert: new troll (for real) on the Hillary Clinton body double post. Look for username Kevin Goodman.

  • h4rr4r

    So are we going to get a fundraising update? How many whore diamonds did we raise so far?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Not enough.

      • h4rr4r

        Damn.

  • Cannedclamscanner

    Just approved for SSI. ( Yupper, I am on the take from my govmemt and can you believe I’m not even black or brown or have one of those kind of foreign names.). But as I mentioned once before you have been such a lifeline, especially when helping do hospice for BiL. I was living with some one percenters who were loving themselves some Trumpdedoo. Each night I had a fire in the fireplace and MY Wonketts.
    Electric bills and such will wait.
    I don’t mean that as a sob story but an indication of how important this Wonketts is.

    • h4rr4r

      Your name is too good.

      I think this is clearly a from each according to his ability, to each according to his need thing, so good on you.

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        I added $ to my check for those who are wonking hand to mouth…don’t have much, but I luvz youuuuuu!!

  • RobKanC

    I just did my civic duty and gave some money. You guys are awesome and it would be a shame to see you guys shut down. Hope the situation improves soon.

  • rebecca

    My loves, we are having a problem with ad-fewer for silver or higher. because of course we are, people are trying to give us money! Shy is working on a fix, and I’ll notify you when it’s proper.

    • Sister Artemis

      no no, YOU are the love. And we loves ya, and thanks for keeping us posted. (As if! since comments are not allowed)

    • Biff52

      I can’t believe how hard it is to give away money! Just as I was clicking the clicky, an ad blocked the “donate” button! Grr!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Of all the problems one could have, that isn’t the worst possible.

    • Vagendadentacohontas

      So, you’re working him without pay? Good capitalist, things will be better without that nasty old estate tax, also too!
      ~psst, Wonkers, that means we get ALL the blackberries! ~

    • PortTaiLand

      I’m fixed!
      Wait, I’m not supposed to share that widely.
      I’m less broked!

    • rebecca

      OK, my husband is best husband, everybody go log in to your ad-fewer!

  • Shan

    Can I just say how fantastic it is to see so many people stepping up here? From regulars to long-time lurkers who are chipping in, even if they have to tighten their belts a bit?

    I think it’s grand. This is a wonderful place.

    • Sister Artemis

      I know! it makes me feel warm and cuddly, sorta, and boyhowdy do I need that right now!

    • Biff52

      Even me…

    • h4rr4r

      Look I donated but I worked hard for this Dadbod, I am not tightening my belt.

      • Shan

        If you have a Dadbod, you shouldn’t need a damn belt. Put it on eBay RIGHT NOW and transfer the proceeds of the sale to Wonkette via PayPal! DO IT NOW!

        • h4rr4r

          Kahki shorts without a belt? Are you mad, woman?

          Next you will try to get me to sell my white socks which I wear with my sandals.

          • Shan

            Just…fine. Stop talking about the socks and I’ll pitch in some more money myself.

          • h4rr4r

            Ah, too sexy for you, I get that.

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Do you know how many times I had to explain to his with the socks and sandals just why they weren’t getting laid?

          • h4rr4r

            Too often I believe.

            I don’t actually do the socks and sandals, the belt and kahki shorts I am guilty of.

          • Cannedclamscanner

            I wasn’t really worried about you. I figured you were making a funny. The belt and khaki shorts thing is not really an actionable offense.

          • h4rr4r

            I figure I have already spawned so I am fine.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            Dad?

          • Tacosinencinitas

            Birks n socks and a Hawaiian brunch shirt are summer formal wear around here.

          • Jonny On Maui

            That’s how we spot tourists…

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        You wear pants?

        • h4rr4r

          When the law requires.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    I am confused by Rebecca being KING and Dok being KING. Is Rebecca King of Montana, and Dok King of Idaho?

    • msanthropesmr

      Dave Alvin is King of California.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZIkIydnsdE

      • rebecca

        you mean “Rebecca’s PERSONAL FRIEND, Dave Alvin, is king of California.”

        • msanthropesmr

          You mean, I need to worship you more? GEez. Next thing you know, you’ll tell me you know John Doe too.

          • Biff52

            At the Vegas drinkie, I thought I’d turn her on to some awesome music. She used that on me face to face. FUUUUuuuuuuu…

          • rebecca

            actually.

            yes.

  • Fat Apollo

    I am a poor Northern Socialist, but I threw in some Justin-Bucks to help!

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Is that Justin Trudeau or Justin Bieber?

      • Biff52

        Yes.

      • Basket of Vagendas

        JustinTime :)

      • Fat Apollo

        Our greatest contrasted with our worst. A really ying-yang, or as we call it up here a Double-Double of Trouble

    • h4rr4r

      Now get back to work on those legal changes. Some of us would like to plan our next three day weekend.

      • Biff52

        I’m in Canada City’s basket of deplorables, too.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    I plan on setting up for renewing money-deliveries while continuing to view Wonkette with Adblock disabled. Double your monies!
    I will miss Robyn and her fascinating MRA/MGTOW studies, she’s truly Jane Goodall of the whiny, self-pitying, and assholish menfolk.

    • Jen B_VA

      Maybe if we raise enough we can keep her free lance until they can hires her back

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        That’s what I’m hoping!
        I love the variety of topics and styles having so many staffers yields, I’d hate to lose a valued member of the team!

  • AnOuthouse

    Who is the hotty holding Donna Rose at the beach?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Our very own Trix, progenitor of the Holy Child

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        Two words: Me- Owe!

  • Zyxomma

    I wish I could help. I’m struggling to keep a roof over our heads, and the lights and internet cable on. I DO occasionally click on the ads, just to give Wonkette some revenue. So sorry about Robyn.

    • Cannedclamscanner

      Don’t give it another thought. This is community so from those who can at any given time.

  • AnOuthouse

    I ad fewered a month ago and now the Internet thinks my name is Dave. I always wanted to be a Dave.

    • BrianW

      Dave’s not here, man.

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        Thank you for being ON it.

        • BrianW

          You’re welcome; I iz an old so know the reference.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            I was busy yelling at clouds.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I’m Dave!

        • Vagendadentacohontas

          Today, we are all Dave.

        • BrianW

          Uh, OK. Hold on. (goes away…comes back to door). Dave’s not here, man.

    • Come here a minute

      We’ve already got too many Daves. Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate’s been taken. How about Sunny Jim? (Better choose before it’s too late.)

      • rebecca

        soggy muff.

    • PortTaiLand

      I haz a Dave too!
      But my computer might be trying to kill me.

      • BrianW

        Only if you talk bad about it where it can hear you (or lipread).

    • TJ Barke

      Girls wanna be with guys named Dave, like that looker from earlier this week.

      • Tacosinencinitas

        Omg my boyfriend Dave was the best ever omg Dave.

        • TJ Barke

          Fuckin’ guys with cool names…

          • Tacosinencinitas

            TJ’s a cool name! Come on! It’s like BJ, only… T is for… Is it Toe Jam? Wait… Were you born in Tijuana?

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Wonkette keeps us from going crazy
    Shan, the Jens, Jonny Maiu, and Daisy
    If we all give a buck
    To the Wonkette Taco Truck
    We can surf and drink and be lazy.

    • Shan

      How much more in donations do you need to see before you stop?

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        :-( and you were IN that last one……

        • Shan

          Hey, it was YOUR sales pitch! I’m just playing along!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Maybe something in a haiku?

        Donna Rose is cute
        Of this we are all quite sure
        Send money today

        • Basket of Vagendas

          Both sides totally
          do it, but. Some sides, I think
          have a vagenda

          • TJ Barke

            Go on…

          • Basket of Vagendas

            But the struggle with
            Manocidal impulses
            may be aerobic

          • TJ Barke

            It’s okay, women are usually manocidal around me. I dunno why.

          • vivian

            Tiskit, a tasket
            My red and yellow basket
            Needs to have Wonkette

          • Basket of Vagendas

            Oooh, deplorable basket works too :)

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Dead Breitbart just no
          NPR makes me stabby
          I need my Wonkette

          • vivian

            If I were a blimp
            Clouds would steal themselves away
            People would thank me

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Dead Breitbart just no.
        NPR makes me stabby.
        I need my Wonkette.

    • TJ Barke

      There’s a good idea, start a taco truck, apparently they are big money makers or something.

      • Shan

        Not for long. Pretty soon, there will be one on every corner and the price wars will drive the prices down so far NOBODY will make a profit.

        • But think of all the cheap tacos!

          • Shan

            Maybe the sheer volume can bump up the profit margin for the Wonkette donations!

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Someone suggested adblocker to me, but only because I was going to have to leave because Wonkette got so wonky I couldn’t read it. SORRY!

    I’m broke, and I wish I wasn’t, but I will send a few bucks, with more to follow, once things improve, which I hope will be soon.

    • Cannedclamscanner

      I can only do Wonketts with Adblocker to if I want to read any of those words and stuff that come after the articles.

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        I figure with what I pay for the obamaphone (which is 3 years old and still handles nicely) I can take a few clicks for the team…and throw some ameros toward a cause I support and need for my mental health!

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        When I say Wonkette was “unreadable” I’m not being a princess. I mean it was LITERALLY unreadable. The page was jumping all over the place, and it kept kicking me off the website. I was about to give up on it, and I love my Wonkette.

        • bookish

          Same here. All better now with my measly monthly contribution.

    • Jen B_VA

      I’ll shill in an extra 5 for you this month, Vagenda ^.^ I can do that!

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        You’re a princess among women! If I could just finish this stupid god damned house, and then sell it, I’d have some money. Unfortunately the thing needs so much work I feel like I’m never going to be able to have a job again. I was supposed to start a new job in May…and I’m still working on the damned house.

        • Jen B_VA

          Naw I R just lucky and picked up new gig :hugs:

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Yay for the new gig!
            I wish George Soros would hear of Wonkette’s plight and send money.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    I have a new pay for service scheme for y’all. If you subscribe to Wonkette, you get a bonus of a Jeffocaster Limerick blocker……

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      There was a girl from Nantucket…..

      • Shan

        …who once told NPR they could suck it…

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          You mean, National Petroleum Radio?

          • TJ Barke

            Nice Polite Republicans.

          • handyhippie65

            what what what? is that really a thing?

          • TJ Barke

            It’s what some some people have come to sarcastically call it over the past few years.

          • handyhippie65

            i meant polite republicans. but that was something i didn’t know, so that’s good too.

          • TJ Barke

            Well it’s usually a condescending sort of politeness, but still.

        • Cannedclamscanner

          And out all their hair they could pluck…

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          Who dialed around
          Democracy Now! she found
          Under her left wing she did tuck it.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            Nooooooo! I gave at the office, er in church…er, shit. Fine. But I want a good sailor’s shanty or ELSE!!

          • Jeffocaster in the desert
          • Jonny On Maui

            Those Aunties can hold their rum!

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            Well played, old man. Well played.

          • BrianW

            Yep. I looked for some to go along with that, and decided it wasn’t worth adding anything to. The perfect shanty for here.

          • Vienna Woods

            Love Stan SO MUCH.

          • Shan

            Whew! Good save!

    • Cannedclamscanner

      Except o like your, ah, funny comment which aren’t allowed

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Money’s a wee tight right now . . . would it help if I gave you a quilt and you could raffle it off? Or silent-auction it?

    • bookish

      I could not afford to bid what one of your quilts would be worth, but I would surely buy a raffle ticket.

    • Jen B_VA

      This is actually a really good idea!

  • Jeffocaster in the desert
  • Vagendadentacohontas

    I’ll take the ads, and return with my browser or on it.

  • george gonzalez

    I upped my measly monthly contribution, now, up yours.

    • vivian

      Hey! Let’s keep it civil amongst fellow Wonkaloons.

  • berkeleyfarm

    Munnies sent! This looks like a rerun of 2008 where snarking on the Wonkette about the totally ridiculous shit going on keeps me sane during the election season.

  • Michael Mathias

    awww. Did anyone else notice that Wonkette baby is reading “Go dog, go”? It’s the Citizen Kane of canine transportation books.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      NO SPOILERS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!

      • Jen B_VA

        The light, she be red

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      See Trump run.
      Run Trump run.
      Oops he fell in dog shit.

    • vivian

      The original draft was “Do God, Do” but the focus groups HATED it.

    • handyhippie65

      that was the first book i ever had. my kindergarten teacher gave it to me. i still have it somewhere.

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      Go directly to the dog party! My son loved that book, my daughter not so much. She preferred Green Eggs and Ham.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert
  • msanthropesmr
  • StoliNYC

    Long day, sorry I’m just getting here. Sending you as many monies as I can because honestly this place is one of a kind. I’ve been a loyal lurker since about 2005. Can’t imagine a day without the wonderful people of my wonkette.

  • handyhippie65

    that sucky suck sucks. i gave you all that i could this month. i know it’s not much, but i hope it helps. i need you, and the community here as much as you need us. may the lady smile on you, and yours.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    here’s to y’all wonkettes….for having Rebecca’s back! see ya in the AM….sleep goodly

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Jeff.

  • TJ Barke

    I keep telling you “Make America Grate Again” merch. I don’t even want the kickbacks now, just take it! Even though I have a massive mechanic bill on the horizon.

    • btwbfdimho

      Make American Parmesan Grated Again!

  • BloviateMe

    Damn. All those sweet, sweet years of free fun, at an end.

    Don’t you dare get rid of Dok, why I remember when he was a lowly non-commenter, just like me. Hell, if you strip away his education, wit, talent, success, charm and grace, we’re basically the same person.

    I await the fixing of the ad-free, and I’ll drop a few bucks. You bastards. I trust you will then provide a number to forward all these personal dick pix I’ve been storing up.

    • Shan

      So you’re saying you have lots of pictures of dicks that are a joke?

      • BloviateMe

        Well, NO, that’s not at all what I was saying! How dare you even insinuate…

        Actually, yeah. That’s pretty much accurate.

        • Shan

          Well, notice I didn’t say they were pictures of YOUR dick. I was deliberately very careful about that

          (edit) I mean, I don’t know you well enough to make fun of your dick.

          • BloviateMe

            My nephew posted this on the faceplace, made me laugh:

          • TJ Barke

          • Shan

            Ha! I’ve seen that…

        • TJ Barke

          Hey, it’s not the size of the boat, or so I’ve been told…

          • Shan

            Sometimes, it is. I mean, really.

            “Heyyy….I think you’re gonna need five or six on the crew for that and I’m the only one here!….No, thanks!”

          • TJ Barke

            ….

  • Jonny On Maui

    Need something to set the mood…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwtCGhnuX3o

    • Shan

      Emotional blackmail!!!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Tell me PBS doesn’t guilt-trip…

        • Shan

          They are terrible! Like my local public radio stations…

    • TJ Barke

      The fuel gauge malfunctioned, Kathleen…

      • Jonny On Maui

        Do either of you have a funnybone in your body?

        • TJ Barke

          Not when it comes to the tragic death of John Denver…

          • Jonny On Maui

            Okay. Sorry ’bout that…

          • Shan

            Wait, he’s dead?

          • TJ Barke

            ..

          • Jonny On Maui

            ikr?

          • BloviateMe

            19 years is too soon?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Be gentle, Shan doesn’t know…

          • BloviateMe

            Got it…and ix-nay on Ranklin-Fay Oosevelt-Ray.

          • TJ Barke

            The man was an American Folk music legend. Show some respect.

          • BloviateMe

            I’ll make a casserole. That’s what mom always did.

          • Shan

            I don’t think I’m gonna be able to eat anything.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Hey Wonkers, FOUR shares? That’s it? Let’s get this on the Top Ten for the week. Share the fuck out of this to help Shy and Trix raise some ameros.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    I’m sorry you guys are going through this. I love this site and will try to support as much as I can. I am A Poor (junior accountants fresh out of university earn crap), but I’ll definitely hit you guys with something this weekend after pay day. Sadly, it won’t be much, but hopefully every little bit helps.

    And, Robyn, I’m really sorry to hear about the layoff. I wish you all the best.

  • Sycamore Hill

    Okay, okay. I’m guilted. No more just lurking. Sent monies.

  • TJ Barke

    Have you tried manufacture and distribution of illicit substances yet?

  • Jonny On Maui
    • Shan

      Can just leave THIS channel running indefinitely…

    • Be Gin

      The Kinsey Report once did a song called “Poor Man’s Relief” that might fit in here.

  • TJ Barke

    Bye Robyn, you wonderful Punk Rock Girl…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0bu2fMiL1c

  • Vagenda and Tiara
  • Vagenda and Tiara

    I wonder if Rebecca has considered hijacking a nuclear warhead, and holding the world for ransom?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJR1H5tf5wE

  • data_ninja

    The trick to making money is to be in a band

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhaDA7TneL4

  • Amy!

    Well, as they told the bosun of the Star of Prague when he showed up at the bathhouse looking for his missing crew, “The Czech is in the male.”

  • tuxykat

    I’ve been lurking on and off for over a decade (yikes!)… daily during Dubya’s terms, then at election times for B. Barry Bamz (because I couldn’t handle the nonsense the Republicans kept throwing at him). You guys are amazing and you make me laugh, so I’m happy to send you monthly monies. xoxoxo!

  • speed racer

    I have an automatic payment plan that sends you $20.00 per month. OK, it ain’t a fortune but I’m doing my best. I just donated another $100. Hope you can make payroll, it’s important that everyone gets paid. We all have to eat. Love Donna Rose’s pictures. OK, I’m a softy, sometimes.

  • Brian

    New Wonkette Theme Song.

    “If I share with you my story, will you share your dollar with me?”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR6oYX1D-0w

    • Jonny On Maui

      How you doin’ brah?

      • Brian

        good, you?

        • Jonny On Maui

          I’m good, thanks.

  • cat cafe

    My beloveds, my cats and I will send you some moneys right away.

    Additional thought #1: Is it hard to print up more T-shirts? Because I bet the commentariat could come up with some more slogans that we would gladly buy. “Bitch, please”? Why don’t you open up a comment thread with fundraising ideas? Most of us have been round the block with that kind of thing.

    Additional thought #2: Fundraisers? For example, I live in Los Angeles (Hollywood hills area), and if there are enough Wonketeers here, I’d be glad to host a fundraiser type thingie or picnic in Griffith Park or drinksies somewhere.

    Does it really help if we link on our Twatters and our Facebooks? Glad to do it… is it to get exposure, or do clicks actually generate more moneys from your advertisers?

    • rebecca

      it really does. more traffic means more ad money (SOMETIMES), and facebook acting as gatekeeper really fucks with things. they want to show stuff that’s already popular to people, so sharing straight from our facebook page helps us the most.

      • cat cafe

        Oh, I didn’t even know you had a FB page, silly me! I’ll go like it and will share from it. I shared articles to FB from this site, but will do it via FB if that’s better.

  • TJ Barke

    This is why guaranteed basic income is a good idea.

    • Meet the shiny face of guaranteed basic income:

      His dad was also to in favour

    • btwbfdimho

      The Swiss recently had a referendum about it, but they rejected!
      I wonder how we could have a similar one here, let’s extend social security to everybody!
      http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-36454060

      • TJ Barke

        Didn’t the Dutch go for it?

  • IndigoSnap

    Am super sad to read that Robyn is leaving. If I could commit welfare fraud with my welfare queen Foodstamps (for real though, I work three jobs and still qualify for Snap because ‘Mercia) I would totally give you the profits so she could stay. Instead, all I can do is throw you a measly $10 a month and wish you the best. Thank you for being amazing!

  • btwbfdimho

    I wish I could send something, right now I have a negative balance in my checking account, until end of september, seriously…

  • Shan

    Good night, Wonkers!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Shan.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Just so you, er. larger guys out there know, there’s only 6 of the Ms. Warren t-shirts left in the grande XL size…

    I really should go get another…

    • WomanInAMood

      Good evening, Jonny. How are you?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Good evening WomanInAMood! I am well. Tired, sore in places I forgot I had places…

        Snorkeling today was fantastic. I’ve got a camera coming, it’s just not here yet. Fish, turtles, they’re freakin’ BIG!

        How are you this night?

        • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

          Not gonna cue up “Aqualung”…

          • Jonny On Maui

            I was texting my niece earlier today and she asked about scuba. I can’t afford it basically. At this point it’s “nothing but the best” if my life is on the line.

            That’s another reason I don’t jump outta planes anymore, besides the questionable sanity ones…

          • Courser

            I’m totally in your boat, doubly since I’m land-locked. Colorado has the most certified divers per capita of any landlocked state.

            I might go get wet in some of the local muckholes next summer, tho.

          • Jonny On Maui

            LOL! met 2 divers from CO today! Cute couple on vacation, complained about lack of edibles, the young lady couldn’t smoke. I’d given my crazy woo therapist snorkel partner neighbor a couple of the ones I make and she handed ’em over to the young lady.

          • Sister Artemis

            87 stars for an atypical “Aqualung” reference!

        • WomanInAMood

          Very well, thank you. Of course, I didn’t go snorkeling off the shore of a tropical paradise.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Well, when you get to Maui if you’d like to go I’d love to take you.

          • WomanInAMood

            That would be wonderful. Of course, what I should be doing this very minute is packing. I’m leaving on a road trip tomorrow. Not, alas, to Maui. I’m going to Austin, Texas. That sentence will never not wierd me out.

          • Jonny On Maui

            That sentence should not ever not weird you out ever, wait…

            Road trip with your mom. Have a good time and keep us posted. you know how we worry…

          • WomanInAMood

            It’s going to be awesome. She has a great sense of humor, and a love of thrift stores, mini-golf and roadside attractions. I love her very much. We’ve talked about doing a road trip together for years.

            I’ll definately keep you posted. However, the Disqus hates me. So don’t be worried if some other poster shows up and knows a lot. I’ve already lost one name, and I am not sanguine at all.

          • Brian

            a road trip from Portland to Maui would be Epic!

          • Jonny On Maui

            I offered to equip the Wonkabago with pontoons but no…

          • Courser

            I don’t know about oceangoing pontoons boats, but I was on a Tri-cat in the Sea of Cortez. Awesome dive boat! Slow as fuck! It’d probably take 6 months to get to Hawaii from the mainland.

          • Jonny On Maui

            There were 2 dive boats off the coast today, there’s a blown out cinder cone that’s supposed to be amazing for snorkeling and diving…

            I don’t know how long an ocean voyage would take, seem to remember the container we packed our stuff in took about 5 days one it left Oakland CA.

        • I saw four film festival movies today and then went to see Sully. No, i am not doing anything but movies until after the 18th

          • Jonny On Maui

            How were the ones today? Stamina holding up? Staying hydrated? ;-)

          • Good movies today overall. Stamina is…meh? Hail Hydration!

      • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

        Konbanwa, Onna-chan!

        • WomanInAMood

          Kiri, sorry, I meant to ask earlier – how’s things? Is your partner home?

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            Crissy came home Saturday, and though we’ve made her physically comfortable she’s frustrated at being so limited. There’s been some trouble with getting her insulin prescription worked out: supposedly she’s covered for the stuff the doc wants her to have, but getting the pharmacy fully convinced of that is being a chore. Seems the visit from the home care folks went well, though- no trouble with replacing the packing in the surgery site, no post-op infection.

          • WomanInAMood

            I’m really happy to hear that she is home. I’m sure that you are both doing everything to help her. I’m especially glad that the wound seems to be healing well. It is frustrating being limited, when I missed months of work, I did more fucking crossword puzzles than any human being ever should. Be the good person you are, and be as patient as you can. Sorry, I put on my Captain Obvious costume again. I really need to find a different super alter-ego.

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            Leopard Lady! The Mysterious Madame X! The Silver Sorceress!

            I like that last one- you get to turn people into newts! Your broomstick is a highly modified Dyson DC50!

          • WomanInAMood

            As long as they don’t build a bridge out of me. Or throw me into the pond.

          • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn

            Did I mention the pet unicorn that shoots lightning bolts from his horn? We can take that mob and those silly English k-niggits!

    • TJ Barke

      Nope, I’m back down to regular L now.

      • WomanInAMood

        TJ, that’s great!

        • TJ Barke

          I have a dream, of one day fitting into… an M!

  • Nephthys

    Coming out of years of lurkdom with my shiny new subscription.

    • Welcome! The Kool-aid is on the table to the left

      • Nephthys

        Thank you! Yer Wonkette emailed me and it was the highlight of my year. I’m adding champagne to my kool-aid for a refreshing mimosa of sorts.

  • Brian

    Wonkette is building a dream, so they created a snark mob

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaZ04GL6gNw

  • WomanInAMood

    Maybe we could put on a show in the barn for a fundraiser!

    https://youtu.be/PXjN9UKZwLE

    • Brian

      I saw Alan Cumming twice in Cabaret and he was great! But, jeez, Liza and Joel Grey cannot be topped.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc1KsSmsGdo

      • WomanInAMood

        I do love this version very much.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Andy Rooney, zatchoo?

      • WomanInAMood

        Are you perhaps thinking of Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney? And I am loving the thought of them performing in “Cabaret”.

        • That is an odd thought

          • WomanInAMood

            Imagine the costumes!

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Indeed I am. “The memory is the first thing to go”. I can hardly wait for the second…

          • Jonny On Maui

            Trust me, you can wait…

          • WomanInAMood

            The thought of Andy Rooney doing anything in a barn is disquieting. Well, except for decompose. Because he is dead.

          • Brian

            I keep reading about people singing in barns. When did this start?Did P-Jizzy hold a rap rave to raise money for his mixed cd? I am old and I don’t understand these things. I remember when barns were only referenced in raisings. I hid in a barn once. In WWII I was in Belgium and had to hide from the Nazis in a barn with Myrna Loy. Don’t worry, we had no sexy time, Myrna wasn’t my type. But there was a lovely cow named Jacques that I liked.

          • WomanInAMood

            Aren’t bovines named Jacques usually referred to as “bulls”?

          • Brian

            Andy Rooney has no time for your “labels.” Everything is labeled these days. Why is that? Look at this can of soup. Campbells Tomato soup. I remember when it would just say soup. Why do I need to know it’s Tomato Soup? Am I Andy Warhol? And when did painting Soup Cans become art? In the Depression we couldn’t afford art. We ate paint and I was Vincent Van Gogh. Everything was better back in the day, When the only thing we labeled was the negroes and the homos.

          • WomanInAMood

            *stands. claps. wipes chardonnay off tablet.*

          • TJ Barke
          • Brian

            So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.

          • TJ Barke

            Nineteen diggity two!

          • Brian

            damn that Kaiser!

          • TJ Barke

            Five bees for a quarter…

          • WomanInAMood
          • Courser

            Oh, man, that happens to me sometimes, too. Not necessarily with Mickey Rooney, but other people. Like Aaron Burr. He comes up a lot in games I play with friends, but all I can think of is Ironsides – Raymond Burr. Which can be amusing, but definitely not accurate.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Damn I love semi-pro software. Finally had to completely uninstall Adblock and restart Firefox to get the Donate button to work.

  • lefty_lucy

    okay, frequent reader, never commenter (because I don’t think I can keep up with the wittiness), just signed up for monthly.

    • lefty_lucy

      ps – I first came for the snark, but the babby definitely doesn’t hurt.

      • WomanInAMood

        Welcome!

    • Sister Artemis

      Welcome! you never know what will pop into your brain – and no harm sharing a thought, witty or otherwise.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh, lawdy, if wittiness was a constant pre-requisite I couldn’t comment about 90% of the time! Just find someone to play off, is my advice. :)

  • Kiri the Deplorable Unicorn
  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Brother can you spare a dime? Fah, Tell it like it is…

    I post this because Her Editriciousness has a very well developed sense of humor, and can take a joke. And it’s Pete Seeger…

  • Film festival update:

    Nocturnal Animals and Jackie are both gorgeous and amazing. And both have distribution deals in place so all can see! I expect Oscars noms in several categories for both

  • Brian

    I can’t pay no Doktor Zoom, but Whitey on the moon

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtBy_ppG4hY

    • Courser

      Oh look, they’re mating! Interesting sexual dimorphism, no?

  • As a non-festival flick that all can see right now! Today! I strongly recommend Sully. Great story and performances. For Clint Eastwood is a republican nutbar, he does direct an excellent movie

    • Brian

      I remember when that happened. I could watch the rescue from my office. It was amazing. But I am a bad person and my main thought was, I wish I could leave work and go film it.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I use “will you be in the Hudson?” as my calming-myself-down mantra when I get all worked up over nothing. If my answer is “No,” I am better able to get a grip on myself.

        • Brian

          better the Hudson than the East River!

  • btwbfdimho

    The struggle for the legal tender…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV03illYdTM

  • bookish

    Trump supporter assaults male and female protestors (top of stairs) at Trump rally today. I read that he “slapped” the female protestor. Does that look like a slap to you?

    The protestors were escorted out. The man who assaulted them remained.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/trump-supporter-strikes-protester-trump-decries-deplorables-comment-n647111

  • btwbfdimho
    • WomanInAMood

      Sleep well.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night btwbfdimho.

  • Jonny On Maui

    So I just dived to the other end just to see how many brand spankin’ new folk who just first posted, sure I missed a few, wanna take a guess? Here’s the list I came up with, again, biased for heavy bong usage…

    lefty_lucy
    Nephthys
    Indigo Snap
    tuxykat
    Sycamore Hill
    StoliNYC
    Fat Apollo
    BOrchkins
    rollickingmadcapfarce (winner of best new handle)
    Grunka Lunka
    Tin Kitty (another periodic table box checked)
    ASmartFloridian
    anneonymie

    If I missed you or entered your name in error, I apologize.

    Welcome new folk! Come on in, the water’s fine.

    • WomanInAMood

      It’s really quite lovely, isn’t it?

      • Jonny On Maui

        I’d bet that’s just the tip of the iceberg, many more lurkers out there…

        • WomanInAMood

          One of the things that surprised me about the Portland meet -up was how many lurkers came. Of course, I lurked for several months before commenting.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I read the articles for months before delving into the comments, other sites, you know. When I did I was amazed! I didn’t lurk for long, a few weeks maybe…

          • WomanInAMood

            I only got on the interwebs in February. After a long spell away (finances…divorce….decision to go dark for a while….). I kept coming back here. It was the Great Nevada Bernie-Hillz Clusterfuck that made me realize I had found my people. There was a real sense of community, as well as snark. There were passionate disagreements, yet amongst the posters, there was a tenderness as well. It really didn’t go completely ad hominem. I liked that. I like it still.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’ve had the interwebs for a long long time but really restricted what and where I went, alot of it due to the salt mines. Still have no FB and won’t have one with my name on it. My phone beeps enough now as it is and if I added tweeter it’s just beep all the time.

            Yes I know I can turn the beep off ya blinkin’ whippersnappers…

          • WomanInAMood

            I’ve never done FB. Never will.

            Of course, I’m a contrarian at heart. Native Portlander, and not a single tattoo or piercing.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’ve thought about getting a tattoo but never did. One I could never make up my mind between two different ones. I’d get an on/off switch in the middle of my back but could never decide on the switch position. The other was just a simple statement, right above the asscrack, “Exit Only! One Way. Do Not Enter.”

            My doctors have made that one obsolete…

          • WomanInAMood

            Damn. Just, damn.

          • Brian

            I only found Wonkette because Behind Closed Ovens moved here from Gawker. And probably would have never commented if I didn’t already have a Disqus account from the AV Club. I hate creating new accounts..

          • WomanInAMood

            I’m so glad you do comment! If for no other reason, you do a wicked good Andy Rooney. And the world needs more of that.

            Well, no. But it made me laugh disturbingly loud.

          • Brian

            I am very good at being the Cranky Old White Man! If I do say so myself!

          • WomanInAMood

            You do a very fine job Indeed! I am pleased to see it!

          • Brian

            Thanks, but the fake, drunk histories are funner, cause not so much hate.

          • WomanInAMood

            The fake, drunk histories are beautiful. You have a gift, my friend.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Quite true!

          • Brian

            you are too kind. It’s more like I have a problem. hahaha

          • Are you my brother from another mother? That is also too my story of finding and loving teh Wonkette

    • Brian
      • Jonny On Maui

        Sorry. You’re no longer new. You get to clean up your own messes now just like everybody else who’s not ‘company’…

        • Brian

          Oh, no, I was saying for those you listed.

          but also, too, I have so many messes and I’m lazy. Fortunately, Mike Pence cleans up messes for just a slight loss of dignity.

    • BloviateMe

      “Fat Apollo.”

      LOL.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Another friend from the Land of Pickwicknext, our frozen northern friends…

    • Shan

      Indigo Snap sounds sassy!

      • Jonny On Maui

        They’re all down thread, pop down and say Hi!

        Didn’t you go to bed?

        • Shan

          I did, but my gargantuan son decided to go downstairs for a snack and he doesn’t know how to use his ankles. So now I’m awake again.

          • Jonny On Maui

            And tomorrow morning the only thing left in the kitchen will be half a jar of relish.

            If yours eat like mine did. Bottomless pits…

          • Shan

            Yes. My son is Thor-sized and consumes much food. Fortunately for me, he has his own job now and acquires some of it elsewhere. It was pretty bad when he was playing football, though. He ate as much as his sister and I did combined.

          • WomanInAMood

            I was confused for a moment, as my dog is named Thor, and while mighty in the toy-dog community, weighs all of 13 pounds.

          • Shan

            Hee! My boy is 6’4 (or 6’5″ now?) and about 240lbs. This, combined with being a howling extrovert with no sense of personal space, is why he is so noisy.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Bet he pretty much fills up a room…

          • Shan

            Like a bear-sized Golden Retriever.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Once, and only once, in HS I ate our family’s dinner for breakfast, steak and eggs, a rather large round steak. The family was not amused. So I know we come by this behavior naturally…

          • WomanInAMood

            Doesn’t know how to use his ankles?

          • Jonny On Maui

            aka “A Stomper”, movement at the hip only, a swing and a stomp…

          • Shan

            There is no such thing as tip-toe with him. On tip-toe, you have to use your ankles. He’s all stomp.

          • WomanInAMood

            Gotcha.

    • Brian
    • Sister Artemis

      The late night water is especially fine. Even when I just lurk and don’t post, somehow this place brings some balance to my night.

      • WomanInAMood

        It is always good to see you here.

        • Sister Artemis

          You as well.

          • Jonny On Maui

            How are you doing? Hanging in there?

          • Sister Artemis

            Hanging. Actually did a regular workday today. And the grandbabby (okay, at six I shouldn’t say that, but hey she doesn’t visit here…. YET!)… grandkid chose to go to her new school today, with strict instructions to talk to teacher if she needed, or ask school to call mom or me, or just call it quits for the day, if she needed. I think she just needed normal, and apparently had a pretty good day, all told.

            Yesterday I was vacillating between numb and sunk, today has been better.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Good. ::hugs::

          • Sister Artemis

            Coming here tonight to visit a little with you late night wonkers, I vaguely remembered a piece from Rebecca’s appeal above, and had to go re-read it, and remind myself why I jumped on Paypal to join up as soon as my check cleared a couple of days ago. Because this is it: there’s a really special group of people who frequent these virtual meetups.

            We just went to Portland, on the way to Shy’s dad’s memorial service, and Wonkers there threw a party. Not because we were coming — we crashed it! They threw a party because this is a for real good community, full of smart, fun, interesting people who dig our brand of our news-based humor and humor-based news, and who’ve found a place of generous, warm, a-little-bit-evil-but-not-that-much weirdos with whom to hang out and go (a little bit) less crazy. The Portlanders brought the most beautiful things from their gardens you ever have seen. They were beautiful people inside and out — and their tomatoes were better.

            The tomatoes were amazing. But I’ll have to disagree with our Dear Leader’s mother: the people are even more amazing.

          • WomanInAMood

            I second this. The people were delightful. What a pleasure to meet those who could make it. Thank you all.

          • Shan

            That was lovely.

            And on that note, I’m going to try sleep again. My daughter has come in to snuggle with me so that might help.

          • WomanInAMood

            I’ve been thinking of you. I hope your daughter’s holding up.

          • Sister Artemis

            I think she is. Every time I ask how she’s doing, she talks about her daughter, but since that’s the focus for her right now, I think she’s sort of telling me the truth of her experience. However, I am half-expecting a major meltdown somewhere down the road.

          • WomanInAMood

            And understandably so. Sometimes shock can act like bumpers, it doesn’t really hit for a while. Please let me know what I can do for you when it does. Eugene’s not far, and I’m a pretty good baby-sitter, if need be.

          • Sister Artemis

            Well, I’ve been thinking about coffee/drinkey dates in Portland or Salem, but one way or another, some more in-person time would be really nice, and very welcome.

            Weird facto #37 of Why This Is Actually A Sorta-Good Thing Despite the Sucky Part: I have never been able to have the grandkid overnight. My daughter did not want the dad to have her overnight (because potentially bad behavior on dad’s part), but didn’t want to deal with “why can she spend the night at your mom’s and not with me?” and ALSO would not want g.d. to lie to her dad (What? me spend the night with grandma? never!). So in the midst of all this mess, I think: hey! we can have a normal grandkid/grandma relationship now.

            Selfish, loving, weird guilt, much anticipation… *sigh* I’ve truly been reeling for 3 days now.

          • WomanInAMood

            As well you should be. This is one truly fucked-up situation. I’m off with my own mom for a few weeks, but when I’m back, let me come on down to Eugene, if you’d like. Whatever I can do.

          • Sister Artemis

            I’d love that. Let’s make it a plan.

    • B0rchkins

      I’m happy to be here. I love the snark, and the babby, not necessarily in that order.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Now send in some money!

        • B0rchkins

          I did already, I’m monthly regular (not just in the bleeding from my whereever department). I also bought some swag to give my ridiculously liberal parents for gifts. Thanks for not YELLING.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Welcome BOrchkins!

    • IndigoSnap

      Thanks! I’ve been lurking for years enjoying the comments of others. Had to come out of the woodwork for this post, though.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Welcome IndigoSnap!

  • mtn_philosoph

    Oh well, I was going to increase my monthly tithe anyway. No time like the present.

    Will throw something into the collection plate tomorrow also too after a review of finances (promise).

    • mtn_philosoph

      Hey, you still cost less than my monthly sub to the NYTimes, and here I don’t have to deal with Brooksie, Ross IDoubtThat or the superannuated MD.

      • WomanInAMood

        What is the problem with La Dowd? I still do like Gail Collins a lot, but not enough to subscribe to the NYT anymore.

        • mtn_philosoph

          A bit of a broken record at times. Occasionally shows symptoms of advanced Clinton Derangement Syndrome.

          Collins is alright. Also Krugman most of the time. Tim Egan is a true gift though.

          • mtn_philosoph

            The Gray Lady doesn’t have enough dick jokes, though.

          • WomanInAMood

            The thought of Krugman or Dowd making dick jokes, that is not a pleasant thought. Not even slightly. And I like Krugman!

          • Amalga

            The Cooking section is great. Otherwise I only read Collins, Krugman and Egan. I don’t know why they keep Dowd: she is just spiteful.

  • SadDemInTex

    I’m a monthly…but I will send extra bucks very soon. Btw, everyone should to the ad free dealy bob. It’s awesome and Wonkette gets a regular influx of money.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Hours ago and down below HouseOfTheBlueLights posted this:

    House0fTheBlueLights 4 hours ago
    Hey Wonkers, FOUR shares? That’s it? Let’s get this on the Top Ten for the week. Share the fuck out of this to help Shy and Trix raise some ameros.

    So it’s doubled now. What’s it going to take to get this to the top spot of the top ten?

    Let’s go Folk!

  • gene108

    I just come here in the hopes of up votes to validate myself.

    Now I just bought some Wonkette swag to look cool doing it.

    Hope the fundraiser works out.

    • WomanInAMood

      I regret that I only have one upvote to give you.

      • mtn_philosoph

        These days we are all puppies looking for a pat on the head.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Arf Arf!

          • mtn_philosoph

            Good boy.

          • WomanInAMood

            *pats*

        • WomanInAMood

          I prefer participation ribbons. And a pony.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Shhh! I’m gonna see if I can weedle a chewtoy…

          • Sister Artemis

            For ponies, gotta upvote Vermin Supreme
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermin_Supreme

          • Jonny On Maui

            The man is married. WTELF! THAT MAN IS MARRIED!!

          • Sister Artemis

            A boot on the head is more sexxxxy than most people imagine…

          • Jonny On Maui

            “A boot on the head” Ah. Been doing it wrong. Thought it was ‘to’…

          • Sister Artemis
          • Jonny On Maui

            First thought wrong…

            “What’s he gonna do with that fist?”

          • Shan

            I think we’re getting Rule #34-ed here.

          • WomanInAMood

            Well, I’m definately pro toothbrushing, and zombie apocalypse awareness is something I can support. But seriously, what the hell would I do with a Pony? Will there be subsidies to feed it?

          • Sister Artemis

            Yes! You’ve heard of Obamaphones? Obamaponies are the lame-duck session Event of The Season!!!! I’m sure Vermin will go with the flow here….

          • Brian

            Pfffft, George Washington never brushed tooths! Why do you think wooden teeth were invented? Because ingenious Americans had better things to do than stand around and fucking flossing like everyday apple eaters! If the Founding Fathers believed in toothpaste Ben Franklin never would have invented electricity!

          • WomanInAMood

            You’re making me feel all fluttery, with this here history!

          • Brian

            you are my target audience, plus Hawaii folk.

          • Shan

            Sounds kinda dodgy….Born in 1961 but graduated HS in “the 1980s”?

  • Brian

    What are we watching now? Who’s your friend who loves Wonkett, ,Bing Bong, Bing Bong!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPbv0KAoCwY

  • WomanInAMood

    For any still on the fence, let’s not make this the babby’s new song.

    https://youtu.be/SL9Z2p7mPyk

    • Jonny On Maui

      Agreed.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    I threw in a little up front and signed up monthly.

    Full disclaimer: I’ve been here since days of yore. From Walnuts to Trumpanzees at least. I’ve met Rebecca but not Shy, whom I’d love to meet. And BABBY of course.

    Rebecca does an amazing job, and if you can’t give a little back then shame on you if you have some money.

    If you’re struggling, DO NOT DO IT! Don’t make yourself more pore. Everyone loves you just the same.

    That’s really the thing here. Doesn’t matter. Got snark? Don’t got snark? Got something to say which isn’t stupid and racist? It’s all good.

    This is my favorite site on the internet which I read every morning on BART on the way to work. I love it. I hope you love it too – enough to give even a buck.

    • WomanInAMood

      Have I mentioned recently that I think you’re a peach?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        You were probably in a mood.

        • WomanInAMood

          Oddly, my mood is usually good.

          • Sister Artemis

            Woman of many moods, kind of like Jacob and his multi-hued coat

          • WomanInAMood

            Hopefully less likely to be thrown in a pit. And have an annoying musical written about me. But, yeah.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            /Andrew Lloyd Webber/

            Woman in a mood
            She wouldn’t wear a snood
            Now she feels nude
            But she is not a prude
            And everyone loooveees heeerrrrrr

            (went a bit Beatles at the end rather than asshat ALW)

          • WomanInAMood

            So I went to try to find an ALW to respond to you. YouTube gave me “The Best of Andrew Lloyd Weber”. And I laughed and laughed. I think I may have pulled a muscle.

          • Brian

            So many moods to ease her soul

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwCKeXsdWBI

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Man after my own heart.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I appreciate your words: it’s hard to turn off my snark sometimes.

            Losing wonkette would be awful. I’d just like everyone who can afford it to chip in. We all love it.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Agree wholeheartedly. This is the only site that keeps me (marginally, at least) tuned in to what’s going on in America. At least the things I care about in America. I still do the news and read a couple of other liberal blogs that take themselves way too seriously, but there ain’t nothin’ like a good shot of Wonkette!*

            *I also love the way this site is almost 24/7 these days. I don’t have to wait until evening to get a taste!

  • WomanInAMood

    This is a bit of a change for me, but dear God/dess, I’m leaving for Texas tomorrow.

    https://youtu.be/M283rlWby1M

  • Callyson
    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Follow with “Delete your account”. Do it, Hillz.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Where else are you going to go for all of your lynching needs?

  • Jonny On Maui
    • Sister Artemis

      Goodnight Jonny!

    • WomanInAMood

      Sweet dreams!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Good night!

  • WomanInAMood
  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Are we playing now? I have a couple of good ones

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IMpF6ZLjQ8

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    I give this essay $50 on the Made Me Feel Guilty scale. On a couple of levels.

    But I’m still blocking those fucking ads.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      The ads suck. Get the ad-free.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Probably a good idea based on the amount of time I spend here.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Moar Brazilian Jazz, last one I promise.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBxW7MaXuq8

  • Sister Artemis
    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Johnny A does a nice guitar version of this tune.

  • WomanInAMood

    This one is for mom. Who drives like the proverbial bat.

    https://youtu.be/QVI-SRgGz9w

  • WomanInAMood

    Good night, y’all!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Good night!

    • Sister Artemis

      Good night!

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Good morning!

  • puipui

    Hello, Ad-Fewer! My goodness, you are all kinds of way more kind to my computer. Yay! *waves*

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      The other denizens of wonkete salute you!

      edit: Damn, it’s not even on google images. I think it was Jim Newell who got a press badge for some conservative thing, maybe even CPAC, which said “Wonkete” on it.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yes, it does work remarkably faster, doesn’t it?

  • BadKitty904

    OT: To start your POTUS-Campaign-’16 day with the appropriately surreal –

    Stephen King Compares Donald Trump to Cthulhu – Cthulhu Issues Angry Denial
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stephen-king-donald-trump-cthulhu_us_57d77e19e4b0fbd4b7bb4540?section=&amp;

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      No comparison. Cthulhu’s way better looking and has mad people skills.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Much better groomed.

        • BadKitty904

          Bigger hands, longer talons.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The best talons.

      • BadKitty904

        Also more moral integrity and considerably greater political experience.

    • sw19tacotruck

      ..

      • Joshua Norton

        Cthulhu 4 evah!
        .

  • Longstreet63

    While already a donor, I am now a Silvery Ad-Fewer. I felt briefly guilty about the loss of my negligible ad revenue, but I am consoled by the fact that the agonized screams of my browser have been stilled at last.
    Also, I woke up thinking about it at like 3am and haven’t been able to get back to sleep until I helped more.
    So, I guess I do have a conscience after all. How bout that?

  • Aniline

    Argh, I didn’t even last a day with the ads enabled, the site simply doesn’t work. So now I’m a recurring donor *and* a subscriber.

  • gene108

    I think I did something foolish. When I signed up for my monthly subscription I put in my gmail account. My. Disqus account uses my hotmail account.

    So when I log out and log-in, I still get ads.

    Is there a fix for this?

    • Wonkette membership/ad-fewer and disqus are two separate logins. Login to Yr Wonk from the members section to activate ad-fewer!

      • gene108

        Thank you

    • the presence or absence of a Disqus login should have no effect whatsoever on your Wonkette account. I am frequently logged into one, and not the other.

      Mail me your username.

      • gene108

        I got it to work.

  • badlybrowned

    Heya wonkette! I’ve already disabled Ad-block whenever I’m visiting any of your sites, and while I am happy with this choice I am cheesed off that there’s at least *one* ad on the site that takes forever to finish downloading on my literal third world country internet and it seems to be one of those auto-play videos. Maybe get in touch with your ad network, I suspect it’s that ad that automatically gets blocked by a lot of browsers because of how intrusive it is, and is what may have caused your reduced ad revenues?

  • JohnE_o

    I love you Wonkette and throw money at you so you don’t leave!

  • StThomas

    Tried to click on donate withj adblock off which failed, and could not see them with adblock on. How dp I give you money?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      No silver lining in this cloud. PayPal is gonna fuck with you when you finally get there, too!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The Man is keeping us down.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          The man does not like my weird address and phone number, I can assure you. Normally I end up lying and give them my credit card number and my brother’s address.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The Man is wary of the socialist paradise.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            And rightly so.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      There’s an address for sending “checks.” They seem to be made of paper, and you write on them and bizarrely banks still apparently count as money and trust you to cover them. I think it’s on the subcribe page. (The address, not the checks. No clue where checks are anymore)

      • StThomas

        Haven’t written one for years, and need paypal to convert £ to $

    • StThomas

      It turns out that my problems are all my fault. Solved. silver membership bought

  • gene108

    Have we saved Yr. Wonkette with all our moneys?

  • TeeRaak

    I know One Weird Trick area Missoula Moms will like…

    How about I send you a check for a Benjamin in the US America Pony Expresso?
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/AyAWUGykBXcT6/200w_d.gif

  • onedollarjuana

    OK. I finally threw a couple of moneys your way. Hope this makes up for years of freeeloading.

    • SnarkOff

      Your Obamaphone is on its way!

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Where is everybody? Just because THE FAMILY (and their lieutenants) is putting the touch on you for a little cash is no reason to hide in the shadows, waiting for a different thread to open up. I see you there, shuffling your feet and looking forlornly at your shiny brown wingtips…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      After giving away all my money yesterday, I’ve had to spend the morning foraging in the desert for something to eat. A few lizards and some mesquite beans are gonna have to do…

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Ahh for the springtime, when the prickly pears are in bloom…

  • OK lurkers. Just imagine having to go back to your unappreciative family and co-workers with your snark, your unbridled cynacism, your very valid concerns (which fall upon deaf ears), and your VERY WITTY sense of humor that only you and the Wonkettariat get.

    Now be honest, you’ve tried that before and it didn’t work out so great.

    That is why you are here in the first place.

    There are no tote bags, but there are are plenty of tea bagging jokes that come with your donation.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      :-(

    • Shan

      Why not tote bags? There could be tote bags. It could happen.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Or a nice toaster oven.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Or we could do the punk rock thing and take our nice, innocuous whitebread NPR tote bags and scrawl horrible things on them in blood.

        • Shan

          I don’t have an NPR tote bag and blood makes me squeamish, so…

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            You wouldn’t want one. They are made from recycled motor oil.

          • Spurning Beer

            (You misspelled “squirmish.”)

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I’ve got a tote bag! Trix sends them out sometimes as love gifts when you get REALLY REALLY sad that Paypal won’t let you send them munneez.

    • nothingisamiss

      This should be highlighted in a follow up post. EXACTLY WHY WE NEED THE WONKETTES.

  • cheetojeebus

    Process cheese powder beflecked filthy lucre coming your way through the interwebs.

  • Tin Kitty

    Beloved Editrix – is there an update? Are you half-buried in a pile of whore diamonds? Is the babby swimming in a tub of coins? We’re clearly all a load of former Catholics, because guilt works approximately 100% of the time on us. I’m just wondering if I need to sell a kidney to keep Doc and Evan in this thing, and keep the babby in berries, or what?

    • Shan

      Jonny on Maui fixed them up with some pontoons for the Wonkebago so they are headed to the Caymans right now.

      • Tin Kitty

        So we should send sunblock and coconuts?

        • Shan

          Probably just more money. The cost of living is really high there, I hear.

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            But it is tax free

          • Jonny On Maui

            Yes! Sending monies is a good thing!

            Ew! Is this how televangelists feel?

        • Jonny On Maui

          You can hold off on the coconuts, got plenty…

      • Jonny On Maui

        My offer was declined. Something about failing the safety test or some other weirdness…

        • Historicat

          Government over-regulation strikes again.

          Thanks Obama!

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      She’ll answer – as soon as the solar powered server gets enough enough sun in the Mountain Mythical Time Zone to charge the server batteries..

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      I only have one kidney. Can I just lease it out?

      • nothingisamiss

        Put me down for half a spleen.

    • Candy Apple

      Omg, Wonkbabby swimming in golden coins like Scrooge McDuck, I need to see that.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    NCAA does good thing standing up to NC, but still unforgiven for restoring wins to deplorable Penn State. (whose mascot is Perry Pedophile)!!!!

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Hillary got up this morning and blew her nose. Fox “News” reports she has nose cancer and call for her to step down.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      I’m here all morning………….

  • Cerebrotoxin

    I gives another 20 clams PER MONTH because OUR EDITRIX are a BBADD Capitalisma. She pays the serfs instead of wisely investing in hookers and blow for Liberty. And the 3rd grade remedial grammar tutor what she sorely needs. But we will save her because we ??????? Wonkette, yes we do!

    We will miss Robyn, whom we also dearly love too. And Evan or Dok Zoom might repent if we don’t all give our moneys. This cannot stand!

    Think of the child!

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    Gave $50, re-subbed to ad-fewer, and posted a plea to my sooper secret Hillary succubus criminal facebook group and I know some of them gave. There can be no US political elections of government politics without Wonkette!

  • proudgrampa

    All I ask is that you NEVER make that babby cry. NEVER!

    • Longstreet63

      Yes, Sad Wonkette Babby Zeba cannot happen. It could not be borne. Please, 900K people, give a buck each. Or two, if u don’t want to be haunted. Because that could happen, you don’t know.

  • Little Lulu

    I have to admit that I’m solvent enough that I can afford to give $100 a month. I consider that a bargain, considering what I get in return: a home page I can call home; guaranteed laughs from the paid writers and unpaid, non-existent commenters (lizzietish, I love you!); adorable photos of our lovely little Wonkita, to whom I’ll soon be sending a little gift in the mail. So, I know I’m not the only one here who can afford to give $100 a month. Or $50. Or $5. So please fucking get off your fucking ass TODAY and show some love and gratitude for Rebecca and the little one and the babysitter and Evan and Shy and Robyn and Dok and the interns and INVEST IN WONKETTE!!!!!111!!1!!

    Sorry if this sounded like one of those annoying interruptions you hear on NPR during Pledge Week, but I’d like to remain sane as I enter my dotage, which isn’t impending, though I’ve already stopped flossing. SO FUCKING GIVE GIVE GIVE TO WONKETTE!

    • Shan

      I would LOVE to hear someone on NPR say GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS TODAY!

    • Little Lulu

      Screen grab says it all:

  • Opiwan

    Have a pack of smokes every month on me, peeps! I shall continue to lurk and enjoy :)

  • wontonbee

    longtime lurker, still reeling from the loss of The Toast. $2 a month for you (am a poor). Pls don’t go

    • nothingisamiss

      Amen, sister. I miss The Toast. It was fantastic.

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    signed up for ad-fewer. it is such paradise i no longer want 72 virgins.

    • nothingisamiss

      I am looking for 72 non-virgin hook-ups, but gave money to Wonkette as well.

  • theblackdog

    I’ve put in my ad-fewer sub now because this place is awesome and I need a good area to be snarky about politics. It’s the only way to keep from going insane in DC.

  • Candy Apple

    So are we going to get an update? Did we save Wonkette? Was it, you know, like one of those feel-good family movies where the cynical old man and the idealistic kids come together with a plan to save the town? And there’s a golden retriever, and some funny hijinks, and everyone learns a life lesson about friendship in the end?

    • nothingisamiss

      I came back to this thread today to find out exactly that!

  • greyXstar

    The new ads seem to break the site a lot more often. Maybe that’s why ad revenue is down.

    • You’re putting the cart before the horse here.

      We’ve been forced to accept less reputable ad networks to replace the better ones that no longer have paying campaigns.

      • greyXstar

        Jeez that sucks! Hope things turn around. I’VE GOT NO WHERE ELSE TO GO!!

  • Bernarda Alba

    It takes a lot for me to pony up for online content, but there are a few cultural institutions–a couple of local public radio stations I listen to all the time, the Guardian UK, Wonkette, and of course Datalounge–that I can’t bear the thought of living without, so I give them monies. Not ALL the monies, as I have to keep some of them so I won’t be a burden on the state in my dotage. But it really is a happy, sexual feeling to give to those you value and admire.

  • Death Rocks From Space

    I had been meaning to pony up for a while now but my Paypal account needed to be updated, on everything, and I am lazy. But when a cry to arms is made, I answer, even though it took about a half hour to get everything straight with Paypal. (Sorry it’s not more, though).

  • Ilgattomorte

    Hi guys,
    Sorry to come late to the party, but I haven’t been as active for the last couple of weeks. So I see this post yesterday and guess what? Bank account fraud! Yep, me and Ms. Morte can’t get to our own money for a bit, while they straighten out the error.

    Anyway, here’s a few bucks and we’ll try to do more later when the banking gods setup visitation rights to our accounts.

    Much Love,
    Mort

  • SecludedCompound

    Oh lordy, I turned off my recurring payments because i turned off all of my recurring payments to put a downpayment on a house (thanks Obama!) and I forgot to turn them back on, and now I feel like a right heel!

    Love you guys, and sending < 3 < 3 and $ $

  • LadyLaz

    Gave some money. I still have the sexy Warren tee-shirt. That commie brilliance can’t be lost!!!

  • Arse Grammatica

    Look I am a bit late to this but I just sent them $50 even though I lost my job last week.

    I’d rather have Wonkette than a job cuz I get to day drink which I am,

    • nothingisamiss

      This seems reasonable. (But for real, I’ve been there and good luck!)

  • anthrodiva

    After losing the Toast and Gawker this summer, I just can’t let anybody else go down the tubes.

  • Historicat

    OK, I’ve set up a second donation, which is larger than my first donation. It’s still not very much but I overinvested in offspring, so for now, it’s what I can do.

  • HorseChestnut

    I wish I could donate my time- I have more of that than I do money. If y’all ever want some amateur dick jokes, hit me up.

    • elpinche

      Amateur dick jokes are the best!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Doubled up. But now you have to be twice as funny.

  • BJW

    Okay, I’m convinced. Although I needed Doc’s article to get me moving. (Been having a minor health crisis.) So now I’m subscribed. It’s wonderful how my Chromebook is working so well at Wonkette now! Shoulda done this sooner.

  • smokefilledroommate

    I felt the need to pooplicate a comment here, because everyone should know about the Powers of Teh Wonket:

    I just purchased an ad-fewer subscription, which I should have done at its inception. I owe SO much more than a meager, paltry five bucks a month to all y’all.. (Really–I met the lurve of my life, natl.[redacted].cmdr on teh Wonket, which IS magic!!!! We have been living in sin together for over a year!) I promise to give more whenever I can.
    *sniff* I love you guys! Honestly, thank you for all you do. Also, more babby. Babby is better than cats!

    http://oi64.tinypic.com/23jo2ti.jpg

    P.S. Herr Doktor StrangeZoom, I’m sorry Vlad didn’t make it. Every time I see a newer Impala, I want to take a bat to the modernized version of the tail lights. They look ridiculose.

  • Just gave a bit extra over my paultry (not “poultry” stupid chrome spell check) monthly amount. That just bought me the right to shame all the other Aussies that come here for your weekly dose of delicious schadenfreude. Our political scene is so boring compared to our US comrades since the Mad Monk got shafted. BTW editrix – I do feel like the mad aunt to Donna Rose.

    Fun Fact: Down here our version of the GOP is the Liberal Party. So I have to preface that I’m a small “l” liberal constantly – Oh what fun.

  • CheezyBlasters

    I have been reading Wonkette off and on since 2007. It was time to step up and throw some dollars your way. Good luck gang!

  • Weevie

    I’ve only posted here a few times so far, but we need sites like Wonkette and I’ll donate somehow.

    Here’s a question that Trump would never answer because he can’t answer anything and I really, really hope you can: Wonkette can’t keep begging donations, subscriptions, etc., forever, so how does the site plan on remaining alive down the road?

    These guys want you to stay around, crazy kids are fun, they were on to Trump 8 years ago! :)

  • thedeadtext

    Subscribed.

    Also.

    Next time that monstrosity comes around to Oregon, I have a nice slot on a tidal bay with a 35amp hookup.

    Nothing better than an alcohol coma to the sounds of blue heron wings, drunk mudder 4×4 weehaws and (fucking) Canadian geese.

    Finally, the sunset is nice over the ocean.

  • your_friend_cassie

    Could you become a church, perhaps? Then we could all choose you as our charity for Amazon Smile, and you’d be rolling in dough.

  • KingKazul

    I want you to know that your appeal worked…sort of. For a number of reasons, including the fact that I CAN’T FUCKING USE IT NO MATTER WHAT I DO, paypal can, in the immortal words of Sterling Archer, eat several bags of dicks consecutively. So since i can’t manage to actually subscribe, I turned off my ad blocker. I hope that helps, at least a little bit…

    (I know, I know, I could send a check…if I actually had checks. Google Wallet, maybe?)

    • KingKazul

      wait, wait, i finally fixed my fucking paypal — SUBSCRIBED.

  • Yr. Gma

    I was gone for a few days, so I missed the big crisis. Just bought another T shirt. Hope that helps.

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