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donna rose happy labor day thompson lake

Bet ya didn’t see THAT ONE coming, but Portland, we are barreling toward you as we speak! Your comrades SisterArtemis and WomanInAMood decided to seize the means of Drinky Thing production and from them according to their ability to you according to your need (and also Power Grows From the Barrel of a Gun, probs), and throw a Wonkette meetup and sextravaganza tomorrow, Wednesday, at Peninsula Park, from 2 p.m. on! And we decided to jump in the #wonkebago and BOGART IT and not even pass it to the lefthand side!

(It’s because we are neoliberals obviously.)

What does that mean for you, Seattle? It means you get sloppy seconds! Like from a sandwich, not from sex acts, because we have our baby with us, what are you, in PRISON??? We will see YOU at Golden Gardens, next Tuesday, lets call it like 4-7 p.m., that sounds good.

All right, good post everyone! T-E-A-M!

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  • Beanz&Berryz

    Wow… Guest Stars! To our very own little drinky thingy. But remember – no tying anyone to a tree, and especially, no fooling, not even a little, no picking roses!

  • chascates

    PICTURES!!!!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Of course. Otherwise, the whole thing will have never happened.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That’s what they say.

      • Sister Artemis

        Trade off being that we will no longer have souls. But whatevs…

  • Mpeg

    I would like to express my excitement for the west-coast wonks on behalf of those of us east-coast’ers who enjoyed being part of the wonkebago tour stops earlier this year.

    And if your current tour lingers in/ around the Northern Cali area perchance, Miss Editrix, I am planning to be in San Francisco the last week of Sept. Please update these wonkypages if your travel adventures put you anywhere in the area around then!?

    • nothingisamiss

      I am totally on board with this! We can seize the Drinky Things as well! Where and when?

      • Mpeg

        It is not my most familiar setting, San Francisco. I haven’t been back since 1998. So I imagine a lot has changed since then. A resident or one acquainted with the area is better suited to organize something than I~
        :
        Primarily am visiting family just outside S.F. but ideal date[s] at the moment appear to be Sept. 27/28 .

  • JMP

    Donna Rose looks like she’s getting ready to attend Hogwarts in that picture.

    • Manocide:_The_Vagenda_of_Fate

      Or made a sweater from Tom Baker’s scarf. Either way, she’s stylish AF.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Which side does she get the non-muggle genes from?

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    Dat sweater! Dat smile! Our beloved DR is already more well-put-together than I ever was.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Sooo…. No visit from John Boehner, then?

    • Sister Artemis

      Still waiting on the RSVP

  • MynameisBlarney

    Again, I propose one of these in the Keys.
    I’d even drive the hunnerd miles to Key West if it ever became a thing.
    We could do the Duval St. Pub Crawl, starting at Finnegan’s Wake.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Actually, here in most beery Portland parts, power grows from a barrel or a tun…

  • Tacotruckjohn

    I’m already drunk with anticipation.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      For the last two weeks?

    • Sister Artemis

      I know I am

  • JMP

    I’m wondering if some of us cities where we commenters have met thanks to Rebecca and now Shy should organize or own election-night or debate drinkie thingies.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      There’s enough of us in the greater San Diego area, but I will prolly be at campaign HQ on election night. Better debate night for me.

      • hendenburg2

        Fellow north county person here! This should happen!

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Pick the place.

          • hendenburg2

            well, my preferred place is small and doesn’t have TV’s, so it wouldn’t do for debate-watching. There’s always the various pizza ports. Sorry, most of what I know is Carlsbad

          • Seek

            Flying Pig in Vista or O’side are both good and have TV

          • hendenburg2

            I know Hennessy’s in Carlsbad Village is good on Tuesdays when the burgers are 2-for-1

          • Cindyinencinitas

            There’s a football game on that night. How can we secure a TV in those conditions? My preferred place is in Cardiff and is small as well. What to do?

          • hendenburg2

            what’s the name of your preferred place in cardiff? Mine is the password-only bar underneath the Land and Sea Company in the Village

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Bestawan Pizza House on Aberdeen behind the Rancho Coastal Humane Society.

          • hendenburg2

            oh, that places look cool. I actually remember where it is. Right by VG’s, right?

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Right!

          • Cindyinencinitas

            They have a back room and they said we could watch. The debate! Let’s spread the word!

    • thewendyb

      Some of us southerners stranded behind the Orange Curtain (I LIVE IN THE OC, get it?) also enjoy dinky things and cannot fly to Portland tonight. Come back, Commie Girl!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Count me in for San Francisco, assuming I’m ambulatory. How does one go about organizing such a thing?

      • JMP

        I don’t know! Hopefully someone else in SF does have experience organizing this type of thing and can speak up with ideas.

    • Blank Ron

      I propose that we of the Ontarian persuasion should get together in some border town on election night. We can sit in a park, watch the results on the intertubes, and point and laugh.

      • Vagenda Woods

        Sounds good to me!

    • berkeleyfarm

      If there is one near me I might be able to attend! I have told my boss I wish to spend the day taking little old ladies’ ballots to the county registrar, and not to expect me early on Wednesday.

    • SecludedCompound

      I’d be down. None of that pressure of meeting empress babby and shit. I want to drink like a common prole.

  • anwisok

    *checks airline ticket prices* *checks bank account* DAMMIT!!

    • BadKitty904

      You mean “Portland” is an actual place? Planes go there???

      • hendenburg2

        yes, but they don’t leave

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          It’s true. I had a summer job doing that.

        • TJ Barke

          Seems like the best use for hipsters.

          • hendenburg2

            very sustainable, if the NYT Style section is to be believed. I wonder what Brooklyn does with theirs

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        They have a bit of a problem with beavers gnawing on the tires, but yeah.

      • anwisok

        Just hope you don’t run into Gov LePage while you’re visiting.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          It’s the other white Portland.

          • hendenburg2

            fun fact: Portland, Oregon was so named because the Maine one was the home town of the one of the two founders. He won the coin toss to decide on the name. The other guy was from Boston.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I lived there FIVE AND HALF YEARS, ALAN and I did not know that little factoid. I have even been to Peninsula Park several times; it’s nice. It was about a mile from my house.

          • Querolous

            The Portland Penny is on display downtown at the Oregon Hysterical Society.

          • SecludedCompound

            Other fun fact: downtown is askew because dumbass #2 wanted to align it to true north, while #1 wanted to align the rest to magnetic. Have a coin toss like normal town elders!

      • JMP

        I’m surprised that there’s separate events in Portland and Seattle – aren’t they both the same hipster-infested super-white cities tucked away in that weird little corner of the US known for Twin Peaks?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          and yet the Southwest gets D-Listed again…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            They’re afraid of us, Zip.

          • TJ Barke

            Damn straight. I don’t wanna get eaten by a chupacabra.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • alwayspunkindrublic

            They’re everywhere around here!

          • BadKitty904

            I thought “chupacabra” was the Spanish word for “lawyer”…

          • TJ Barke

            What the difference between a chupacabra and a lawyer? One’s a vicious blood sucking monster spoken of in hushed tones, and the other is a myth.

          • BadKitty904
          • Vagenda Woods

            How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine harvester? One, but you feed him through real slow…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I can’t blame them…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Well, I know we’re a bunch of lowlifes, but still….

          • BadKitty904

            Psht. Try living in the Southeast.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Thanks…no.

        • BadKitty904

          I’ve just always assumed they were mythical, like Narnia or Connecticut…

          • TJ Barke

            No, I know Connecticut is a myth.

          • BadKitty904

            See? I *knew* it!

          • Now I know why it took my husband and me six hours to get out of Connecticut.

          • Painter of Taco Trucks

            And most of them hang out it the “Mountain Time Zone”. Coincidence?

        • TJ Barke

          Hey, there’s lots of Asians too.

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          Two mouths of the same wormhole.

        • SecludedCompound

          Twin Peaks keeps shrinking, the rest of the hellish megalopolis keeps growing.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Wow. This is great! Hey all you people in PDX, give Donna Rose a hug for me!

    • Sister Artemis

      No way we can tempt you to cut out of work?

  • Cindyinencinitas

    Look at that babby!!! She looks like a *gulp* PERSON!

  • BadKitty904

    How is that child suddenly able to walk? How old am I, anyways?

    • OneYieldRegular

      Just wait until tomorrow, when she’ll be carded at the drinky-thingy bar and allowed in.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son
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  • JD Mulvey

    Pdx has been quite drizzly the last few days, but according to Weather Underground* we should get some sun tomorrow!

    (* Is there something vaguely offensive about a mainstream website appropriating the name of a group of 60s radicals? I dunno, seems kinda weird to me.)

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Yay, the weather won’t suck too badly!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Looks even pretty good… of course, the weather never actually sucks here, just the choice of jacket for the weather…

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “Shh, the Californians will hear you.”
          — Ghost of Tom McCall

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Especially since all their forecasts seem to be about the weather above ground. False advertising, man!

    • anna rampage

      They used to be very alt left, that is until the Weather Channel bought them out…

      • JD Mulvey

        Lol –I can’t even tell if you’re serious, but if so, wtf is an “alt left” weather forecast?

        • Latverian Diplomat

          They believe white snow is superior to other types of snow?

        • Ricky Gay

          the forecast for tonight: dark, with widely scattered light in the morning, man

        • Jenvenda Manocide

          Today, light acid rain intermingled with bouts of toxic smog. Tonight’s weather should be great for the ecoterrorism at the nuclear plant. Death to capitalistic pigs!
          Of course.

    • MynameisBlarney

      They seem to have more accurate forecasts than the other ones I’ve used.

      • JD Mulvey

        They do. I love the hour-by-hour feature.

      • Toomush_Infer

        We were not very accurate, but we could see what was coming! Nixon!…

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • mailman27

      There’d be 2 corpses.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I dunno.
        Ol’ Pooty kinda has that “Oh shit” look in his eyes.

        • Rick Hill

          Looks like he was caught off guard. “But Obama has always been nice to me before!”

        • Tacotruckjohn

          Is big, this Negro American President.

          • Snark Tank

            Pooty should keep eyes front in the men’s room if he doesn’t want to know, then.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Please, not to refer to me as White Russian President.

          • Tacotruckjohn

            In Obama’s America, President intimidate you.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Motherfucker.

          • SpideySenser

            Nyet?

          • Tacotruckjohn

            Da.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Yes. Pooty-poot and Teh Donald.

      • Nockular cavity

        Yeah: Putin and that dipshit Duterte.

    • BadKitty904

      Bamz could take that lil’ punk…

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Usually, I have photoshop to help me out with this sort of thing.”
        — Vladimir Putin

        • hendenburg2

          and yet he still has moobs in all his topless pictures

          • Latverian Diplomat

            “We’re not miracle workers, dammit.”
            — Adobe

    • Treg Brown

      This pic is bunk worthy.

      • BadKitty904

        Dibs on the hot guy! Somebody else can have Putin.

    • Spurning Beer

      This was from the Hangzhou drinky-thing, I believe.

      Vladimir just made judo in his pants.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Sure he didn’t just Borscht himself?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      “The special relationship.”

    • Beaumarchais?

      I cannot WAIT for Barry’s memoirs.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      “We know about the way you’re trying to fuck around in our elections, Mr. Putin.”

    • Antonin Dvorak

      P>I have guys- very invested in my well being.

      O> I know all the guys you send; they like me better than you.

    • anna rampage

      “I don’t know karate, but I know crazy, muther fucker” B Obama

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Barry has looked into Putin’s eyes and seen his soul. It’s all dark and cobwebby in there.

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      I could use you as a tooth pick.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      I cannot get enough of that picture. Bamz is all, turn the fucking cameras off. You and me in the basement right now. Pooty is all, you’re a lot taller in person…

    • Querolous

      “That’s right, I just called you Vladamir Putang.”

    • Bamz looks like he wants to punch Putin in the throat. Putin looks like he’s suddenly realized his entire life is a lie, and that he’s nothing but a little punk.

    • SecludedCompound

      Oh, this is that “soft” guy. Got it.

    • SecludedCompound

      “Oh, I see. You have less than the GDP of fucking Italy? Good. Pipe up gain, motherfucker.”

  • anna rampage

    Of all the weeks for my mom to come down with pneumonia and start her journey to the other side…. :(

    • Beanz&Berryz

      :( !!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Oh no!

    • Tacotruckjohn

      Oh dear. Blessings.

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      <3

    • Painter of Taco Trucks

      *hugs*

    • Shanocide

      I’m sorry, Anna…

    • Cindyinencinitas

      So sorry Anna. {{hugs}}

    • Sister Artemis

      We will be sending good Drinkey Thing energy your way, in a woo-ish yet not at all woo fashion (because Wonkette), and maybe if I get my act together on the blooging stuff, can be with a little in the virtual fashion.

    • DemmeVagenda

      I’m so sorry.
      hugs.

    • SpideySenser

      So sorry.

    • berkeleyfarm

      Hugs offered. So sorry.

    • SecludedCompound

      Oh wow. Sorry…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Rats. I had to give away my ticket to the Pogues at the Beacon Theater in NYC in 1989 because a relative became ill and I had to return home. I’m almost as bummed out to miss the Portland drinky thing.

    • Redgyal

      time travel?

    • Arolpin

      That’s almost as bad as the time that I had to miss the Pogues in NYC on St. Paddy’s Day because Shane drunkenly broke his leg the night before.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Fuckin’ Shane. He’s pulled that same stunt more than once.

        • Arolpin

          My wife”s best friend spent several years in a Pogues cover band, so we saw him (or attempted to) every time he played NYC. I think he cancelled more than he played. (BTW-Shane looks very different with his new teeth.)

    • hendenburg2

      eh, I remember one particular review of one of their live shows that said:

      “Their opening song had the lyrics ‘I am going/I am going/Where streams of whiskey are flowing’

      Shane McGowan looked like he got there early”

      • berkeleyfarm

        I forget what they sang for the opener when I saw them live at the Fillmore, but it would have applied handily. There were two bands on before them (including Luka Bloom, who raised ghosts in that room) and Shane could barely stand.

  • Redgyal

    This sounds all good and everything but what I want to know is when you’re planning a visit to Texas. Or are you scared of us or something?

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      Wait until about January, then they will be like California, Arizona, Texas, New Mexico, Louisiana here we come!

      • Redgyal

        OK. By then I’ll have either a good reason to either drown my sorrows or celebrate the beginning of Global Female Domination by Queen Hillary of Rodhamton, may she reign for ever.

        • Luxury Stains

          her winning our state would be worth a six of shiner and some “Bernie-grade.”

          • Redgyal

            Something to pray for.

  • thewendyb

    Please come by Orange County we have drinks too. (Weeping in a corner for not starting a Go fund me page rapidly enough to fly to Portland)

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      We coulda carpooled…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Our once not terrible newspaper has taken a bad turn, aided by a former honcho from the Orange County Register, so now I sometimes call our once Oregonian the Oregon Country Register…

      • Notreelyhelping

        Yeah, and a heck of a lot of cool people now freelance or burrow into early retirement.

  • mailman27

    Before you know it Donna Rose’ll be driving the Wonkebago! *sob*

    • Latverian Diplomat

      To the “library”, to “study”.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        And you two horny grownups can make out in the backseat like common Palinses.

  • OneYieldRegular

    There is no “I” in “T-E-A-M” “drunken Wonkette sextravaganza.”

    • BadKitty904

      Hmm. That’d make a really good name for a rum-based dessert.

      • anna rampage

        I make a hot dessert drink that I aptly named the “Puerto Rican Jizz Bomb”

        To a 12-14 oz mug, add
        1-2 tbs of home made caramel sauce
        2 shots of good gold rum
        a pinch of cinnamon
        add boiling water
        top with whipped cream & a dash of nutmeg

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      There’s ME…

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    I’ll be there on this fine ride. Maybe I’ll bring a pizza from Eddy’s, too. I’m off to the recycle center ATM.

    • TJ Barke

      So you’re one of those “bicyxuals?”

  • the Vagenda Manologues

    I was in a kinda not-so-good mood. Thank you for the stylish babby picture.

  • I Only Like Cats

    Well I’ll try to show up, but I don’t like going to parties without homecooked food and I’m not sure lasagna would survive the three buses it takes for me to get to Seattle.

  • BMW
    • anna rampage

      That was years ago… We’ve actually gone back another 100 years since then…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_HGqPGp9iY

      • Notreelyhelping

        I was kind of meh on Portlandia, but this one nailed it. Where ARE my elbow garters?

  • Nyumbu

    Wait. What happened to the Wonkette Babby? That is a young girl person, not a babby!

    • TJ Barke

      Turns out; babbies grow up…

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Can’t you have them bansaied?

        • TJ Barke

          Unfortunately not…

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            defeatist. If you push down on their heads once an hour every day that will surely keep them small and cute forever!
            FOREVER I SAID

          • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

            I’m torn. I love the idea of cute-n’-tiny-forever Wonkette Babby, but at the same time a fully-grown Donna Rose will be a more successful POTUS (and eventually Queen of the Universe) candidate.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            This is true.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            Well, emotionally.

          • cat cafe

            Worked for my mother and my brother, apparently.

      • SpideySenser

        Get Out! I had no idea!

    • Shanocide

      That’s what happens when you keep feeding them.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And lovin’ them…

      • Sister Artemis

        That’s what I always say!

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    Oregon? Are you sure? Cause I could almost make it Portland, ME, and they have an entertaining governor, and such.

    • Tacotruckjohn

      We got rid of our entertaining governor and his even more entertaining wife not long ago.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Or was she back then just his almost wife?

        • Tacotruckjohn

          I forget, but yes, I think so. Unless I’m wrong.

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      No one will know for sure now, since he’s only gonna talk to the good media.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Beautiful sweater, btw!

  • btwbfdimho

    • kareemachan

      “Potaco”?

      • btwbfdimho

        Pot Taco?

        • kareemachan

          That almost makes sense….

  • Blank Ron

    <calculates> Nope, can’t get there in time, not even if I put a brick on the truck’s gas pedal. A BIG brick.

  • kareemachan

    That’s right – pour salt in my wounds of not being able to go to the DT by posting this.

    I’d try luring you up north from Seattle but we are kitchenless right now. Well, that’s not quite right – most of our kitchen is out on the lawn. If things weren’t so chaotic, I’d try to lure you by pointing out that Donna Rose REALLY needs a ferry ride with the possibility of seeing orcas…

    HAVE FUN, EVERYBODY!!!

    • Blank Ron

      You do know it belongs in the house, not on the lawn, right?

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        The orca?

        • Jenvenda Manocide

          The ferry

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Garden ferries…

          • kareemachan

            Used to have garden ferries, but the cats drove them away. Here’s our “kitchen”….

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Well I see the problem, you got your sink mixed in with your stove….

          • kareemachan

            That…that…that’s not how it works?

  • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

    Two things: Is someone gonna live blog? Don’t break any rock formations…

    • Sister Artemis

      I’m gonna try but I may need help from younglings as this whole smart phone thing is new to me

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Okay, how much potato salad should I make? A shitload or just half a shitload?

    • anna rampage

      My Sicilian grandmother taught me how to cook, and as a result, I end up making enough food for 10-15 when I’m only cooking for 2-3…

      • I Only Like Cats

        My Puerto Rican mom taught me how to cook and as a result, I now eat enough for 10-15 people…

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      Florence Foster Jenkins advises one bathtubfull.

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        Any relation to Leroy Jenkins?

        • Arolpin

          At least I have chicken

      • Notreelyhelping

        Oh, my my my!

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      depends. Is it good potato salad?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Red potatoes, fresh rosemary from the garden, eggs from our chickens, a little spicy mustard… I’m told it’s pretty good.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Good by definition, by the sounds of it…

        • anna rampage

          That sounds great!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      A metric fuck-tonne

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Hey, none of that commie pinko metric stuff! This is AMERICA!

        *tries to block your view of the stockpile of 500mL bottles*

  • Tacotruckjohn

    See you at Liverpool Liz’s.

    Peninsula Park
    The site for Peninsula Park was identified in the Park and Boulevard Plan for the City of Portland developed by the Ohnsted Brothers in 1903. The seventeen acre park was purchased by the city in 1909 for $60,000 with funds raised in a 1908 bond issue. Originally the site of “Liverpool Liz’s Place,” it had been a roadhouse and racetrack for quarter-mile horse racing. An auto-park and campground were also included in the original parcel.

    From https://piedmontneighborhood.com/piedmont-neighborhood/

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Yr Wonkette: entertaining and educational!

      • Objectifer

        IK,R? I didn’t know you could drag race with horses.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          There’s only so far you can drag a horse before it gets really cranky, though.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    http://www.gopocalypse.org/hysterical-preacher-issues-warning-to-save-america-from-flaming-butthole-apocalypse-video/
    Somebody help me out here – can this thing POSSIBLY be real???
    OH – and warning: definitely NSFW unless your boss is pretty mellow and/or you can close the door to your office!

    • msanthropesmr

      He’s real.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Wow. Just . . .imagine sitting in his church listening to that with your kids.

        • anna rampage

          While trying to keep a straight face even…

        • Mission Drifter

          I refuse to devote any energy into researching this guy but it’s fairly common to do the televangelist bit in an otherwise empty room. I’m guessing his congregation is the world, man, ever’ where there’s a danger of flaming buttholes. He’s not speaking to them from his basement, it’s The HQ of His Ministry. Bless his heart.

    • Shanocide

      Wishing I hadn’t left early to pick up my car now. Would love to play that out loud for my conservatard co-worker!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Conservatard…. brings back memories of our own Libtart!

        • Shanocide

          Oh, and our (former military, howling liberal) CEO took him down HARD last week over gun control. I just sat in my corner and snickered.

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      I would’ve hoped he had lost his church by now.

    • anna rampage

      It seems this man has a penchant for flaming buttholes…

      • Shanocide

        He’s probably looking forward to all the taco trucks.

        • anna rampage

          I don’t know, hot spicy food and hours & hours of hot, sweaty man on man sex do not mix so well….

          • Shanocide

            Oh, right. I was just thinking that’s a way he could enjoy having a flaming butthole all on his own, without all the concomitant sin-type stuff. I mean, he’s probably not used to “spicy” food, so…

    • Dg Hacket

      Could be the result of those “volcano” style chicken wings.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      It’s Manning again.
      Yes, he means it.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      hey Padre, next time, use a condom…

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      Flaming Buttholes? Sounds like a cool side project between Wayne Coyne and Gibby Haynes.

    • Panika MCD

      according to Papa Cruz, it’s not about butt secks, it’s about COMMUNISM destroying FAMILIES!!!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zkb1F-YZGTE

  • Jenvenda Manocide

    Have fun, North Best coast wonkers, pour one out for your homies who can’t make it because we live on the other side of USA America

    Edit: Also, pictures please! Future blackmail does not just find itself ya know.

  • John Iwaniszek

    You know, Raleigh has a lot of nice bars.

    • Durham, also too.

      • John Iwaniszek

        I could get behind that.

        • Speaking of alcohol, did you see that Bill Clinton was in Durham yesterday? He stopped at the Co-op and picked up a 4-pack of Ponysauras, which happens to be brewed by a friend of mine. It’s all very exciting. I’m rooting for it to become the Official Beer of the 2nd Clinton White House.

          Anyway, I too could get behind a drinky-thing in either Raleigh or Durham.

  • Jeff in the desert

    OT (since the wonkebago will not even come close to the high desert and after this next pic, may never come to the state again) Ran over a Republican today

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      He shoulda stayed in the grass.

    • Panika MCD

      http://ww4.hdnux.com/photos/42/21/40/8984607/3/920×920.jpg

      all of them, Katie. and none of the refugees, Sid.

      • TJ Barke

        Hmm, you know who else compared refugees to dangerous animals?

        • Panika MCD

          besides Sid “Transvaginal Sonograms” Miller who is the gift that keeps on giving you smacks in the mouth for saying “Happy Holidays”?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Snake libulz!!11!

      at least the reptiles are useful…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      He doesn’t look so bad off…

  • Lascauxcaveman

    OH, man I was planning on passing through SEA (On my way back from MT, of all things) on Monday, not Tuesday. I may just have to give one of my flunkies another shift so I can play hooky and drop in a Golden Gardens, yet another Seattle area I used to hang out in. BBQs on the beach; lotsa great mid-80s members there.

    It’d get me home pretty late, but it’d be fun to do the drinky thing with Wonket Babby and her cult.

    • Shanocide

      Cult of the Wonket Babby!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I put the “I” in team.

    • Panika MCD

      I put the “me” in ITEM.

    • Nightcrawler

      There may not be an I in Team, but there is a ME in Team.

      • Shanocide

        There’s also a “meat” in…

        …nevermind

        • ahughes798

          and mate, also too.

          • Panika MCD

            tame the meta.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      THERE’S NO P IN TEAM!

      –Todd Starnes

  • I kind of feel like I’m too new here to justify crashing either one of these shindigs, but perhaps y’all can have a cookie or something for me. :)

    • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

      Oh, you should still go. They won’t bite. Probably.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        *flosses teeth*

        • Shanocide

          You misspelled “files”

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I really doubt anybody would mind. You could just show up and say, “Oh yeah, I was posting at Wonkette before it got overrun with n00bs.”

    • TJ Barke

      If you haven’t been at least lurking since the waning days of the Layne administration you can gtfo.

      • Shanocide

        Crankypants.

        • TJ Barke

          I’m just teasing. God, everyone’s so touchy this afternoon.

          • Shanocide

            DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU CALM DOWN!

          • TJ Barke

            Fun fact: telling me to calm down usually has the opposite effect. Just let me cool down myself, gawd…

          • Shanocide

            You think redheads don’t know these things, hm?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Just go and tell them all you’re old-timer “Lascauxcaveman,” prolific Wonket commenter since aught-four.

      (Careful, some of them may try to punch you in the throat.)

    • Sister Artemis

      Oh, PLEASE crash! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

    • Painter of Taco Trucks

      You should go! I was a fairly new lurker when I went to my first one in Santa Fe. Lots of other lurkers there as well as a few comment stars. Everyone was wonderful and I had a great time. Go!

      • I can’t make the PDX one, alas (got rear-ended on the way home from the fair, so I need to not drive my car much until it gets fixed.) But I may be able to swing the Seattle one next week.

  • Not So Much

    Dammit, Jim! I now live in Portland! But, also have a “job”, which frowns upon two p.m. drinking. I don’t suppose this thing will linger on into the evening, by chance?

    • I Only Like Cats

      It seems like it will, knowing our fellow Wonkette persons.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      That’s the plan.

    • Sister Artemis

      Yes, into the evening! I’m trying to round up a picnic shelter in case of raininess, too.

      • Shanocide

        You think it might rain? In Portland?

      • Not So Much

        Hooray! I shall endeavour to attend.

  • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

    This sums up my team player abilities (if I even watched sports)…

    https://youtu.be/2fraSdN-PG8

  • Panika MCD

    maybe when you guys one day do a drinky think in ATX, we can annoy people in traffic with one of these thingys.

    http://cdn2.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/1194922/pubcrawl.0.JPG

    • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

      We got these in Nashville, also, too. (hint, hint)

      • Panika MCD

        do you get annoyed when you get stuck behind one?

        • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

          I’ve been doing UBER and Lyft as a way to earn extra moola, and try to avoid Downtown where these are quite numerous on Friday and Saturday night. Between these and the frequent street closings, driving can be quite aggravating.

          • Panika MCD

            you do remember that we hate Uber and Lyft in Austin, right?

    • Notreelyhelping

      Got ’em in Portland too. It is the weird hive, home for puzzled bees.

      • Panika MCD

        but you already have a planned drinky location.

        • Notreelyhelping

          It’s a moveable feast?

    • Those things are a goddamn menace.

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    Donna Rose is cute, and so is this fruit bat.

  • Nounverb911

    Hey everyone, Tom Hiddleston is available again!
    https://twitter.com/NYDNgossip/status/773256546721685506

    • I Only Like Cats

      That’s actually the first time one of Taylor Swift’s breakups have made me sad. They seemed so perfect together.

    • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

      No, No! You must mean Taylor Swift is available again!
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

    • Nightcrawler

      Who is this Tom Hiddleston you speak of? You mean Thor’s brother Loki?

      • Tacotruckjohn

        Tim Huddleston? Is he the one that won’t stand up for the anthem or the one that used to pray on the field all the time?

        • Treg Brown

          Yes.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That’s the guy. The one The Hulk tossed around a bit at Stark Tower and then called him a “Puny God”.

    • TJ Barke

      Fucking beautiful people, taking love for granted…

      • I Only Like Cats

        Read the article or the edit on my comment below, there’s a good reason they broke up.

        • TJ Barke

          Isn’t it because Swift is fucking crazy? Because that’s always the impression I get from her… She just seems nuts.

          • I Only Like Cats

            That doesn’t sound a little sexist at all. She seems perfectly normal to me, although her skin seems a little thicker from all the the sexist things she’s had to deal with over the course of her career. Also, I don’t think she’d get along with so many of her peers if she was “nuts”. Are you sure you haven’t read just one too many NYT articles?

          • TJ Barke

            No, that’s just the general vibe I get from her. I don’t give half of a shit about celeb gossip. I don’t really know why, there’s just something about her that strikes me as being off.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I’m a great judge of character (that’s what happens when you come from an abusive background) and I have zero idea what you’re talking about. Well, I always get the feeling she’s holding back righteous feminist rage but I get that from most female artists.

          • TJ Barke

            I dunno, maybe it’s my imagination.

      • BadKitty904

        Well, damn, Teej, I didn’t know you felt that way about Tom… ;0)

    • Tacotruckjohn

      I’m Hiddlestoned at the news.

  • Nightcrawler

    I have no idea what this means but I am smiling for some reason.

    • Shanocide

      The reason is that you saw babby Donna Rose!

  • Sister Artemis

    YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are mighty happy you are gracing us with your snarktastic presence, Editrix!

    one more time, the semi-official and quickly thrown together poster/maps/info

    • Suttree

      YAY! I am sooooo envious!

      • Tacotruckjohn

        To absent friends!

        ? There’s … a tavern in the town
        In the town?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Um, so, this is a pretty big park, and I suppose wonkers are easy to find, but is there a planned spot at the park where we’ll be? Cuz the map shows the community center, but I was thinking we might be outside not at the community center.

      • Sister Artemis

        Northwest corner of the park, near the playground – I’m getting some helium balloons, so look for those. I think it’s the second picnic spot from one end or the other, if I recall. @WomanInAMood reserved the spot and hopefully will see this post and confirm that. Also, too, look for Donna Rose!

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Good call to get the spot near the playground for DR!

          Does this here google-mappy image link work? Not so well…

          It sounds like the space might be near the restroom building on Albina Street?

          • Shanocide

            Wonkers are so nice!

          • Sister Artemis

            No, the maps are just screen shots

            Thanks for the “good call” callout, but we had no idea Rebecca would be wonkabagoing her way towards us until just a couple of days ago, due to some astute twitter-reading by another alert Wonkette operative. We are thrilled, but for a while, thought our picnic might well end up being me, WomanInAMood, and maybe some nice crazy person in the park. Which was ok with us, but we’re quite thrilled that this is turning into An Event.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I’m hoping and planning for a post-5 drop by… Here’s an interesting Drinky Thingie etiquette question. Do people just use/learn Wonkette names or also too learn other normaler names too?

          • Sister Artemis

            I would think the name thing is up to the user. But I’ll be going by both at the drinkey thing

          • Shanocide

            I’m so glad for Wonkers who can do this!

  • Suttree

    Fine then! You guys go have YOUR drinky-thing! I’m going to have my own drinky thing with Teddy Moosevelt, Mousey Mouse, Rock Lobstah, and Henrietta the Hedgehog! And YOU’RE not invited!

    • Panika MCD
      • Suttree

        OMG, I’m crying! But yes, exactly like that that.

      • BadKitty904

        I LOVE this series! Tiny Hamster’s Tiny Date is my fave, followed by Tiny Hamster’s Tiki Party!

        (And yet you people say that CAT owners are crazy)

        • Panika MCD

          I’m a pet person. I don’t choose sides.

    • Tacotruckjohn

      Well, aren’t you the big girl’s blouse!

    • BadKitty904

      No love for Jemima Puddle-duck?

      • Suttree

        As soon as Lizzie buys me a duck she will be included in the party. :(

        • TJ Barke

          You are an adult right?

          • Sweet Vagenda

            By physical age or mental age?

          • TJ Barke

            Yes.

  • BadKitty904

    Say, I found some footage from the last Wonkette Drinky Thing™…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyKSm9vqbHQ

    • Please Vagenda Bozilingus
      • Panika MCD

        both are accurate in this order.

        • BadKitty904

          See?

      • BadKitty904

        Well, that was later in the evening…

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos
      • Suttree

        My last drinky thing involved freezing to death at 59th St. There was cuddling to be had though…..

        • Shanocide

          D’awww!

          (And some groping, apparently)

          • Sweet Vagenda

            Lizzie takes pictures of me snuggling with stuffed animals while I sleep. I don’t care nor do I have shame.

          • Shanocide

            Hey, as long as it’s all consensual!

          • Sweet Vagenda

            I’m asleep! How is that consensual?!!!!! They are very cute pictures though. :)

          • Shanocide

            Well, if you told her beforehand that you don’t mind, I’d say that’s consensual. Um.

          • Sweet Vagenda

            Afterhand, beforehand…. Who could say?

          • Shanocide

            Y’all seem like you could work it out!

    • Tacotruckjohn

      Libiamo!

      • BadKitty904

        Libiamo ne’lieti calici!

    • Doug Langley

      You mean pants are mandatory?

      • BadKitty904

        Yes, but not necessarily as leg-coverings.

        • BadKitty904

          For example, pants, worn on the head, can be made into a stylish turban.

      • Panika MCD

        obviously, in accordance with the pantsless rule, the men in this video would be wearing sarongs instead at the Wonkette drinky thing.

  • I Only Like Cats

    So Hillary has enough extra money to buy commercials in Washington (unfortunately was in the middle of changing the channel from Dateline).

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      …she bought a jet too. So, apparently.

    • Panika MCD

      she also too has had commercials in TX because HAHAHAHAHA!

    • What channel? I know she did national ad buys during the Olympics, but if she’s doing buys during local broadcast-channel programming, that’s kind of amazing.

      • I Only Like Cats

        Channel was Investigation Discovery but I’m still impressed.

    • anwisok

      Also too in Soused Carolina!

  • The Wanderer
  • TheGrandWaz00

    Stupid libtards don’t know nothin’ ‘ bout no drinky things.
    https://ilikedogsblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/cowboy_shooting_drinking.gif?w=300

    • I Only Like Cats

      For your livers’ sakes, I wish that was true.

  • Sweet Vagenda

    Alright people! New Rule! You cannot change your moniker and avatar at the same time. I just started working full time again and am at a loss. Who is Please Vagenda?!

    • The Wanderer

      Nertz. And I was going to change my moniker to either Sugar Magnolia or Gorilla Monsoon.

      • Notreelyhelping

        They both sound like dope names. “I just picked a gram of Gorilla Monsoon, but I’m still afraid of it.”

      • BadKitty904

        Not “Princess Monster-truck”?

    • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

      I am Spartacus!

      • The Wanderer

        And so’s my wife!

      • Sweet Vagenda

        I hate you!

      • BadKitty904

        I Am Legend.

        • Tacotruckjohn

          That you are, old Kitty, that you are.

          • BadKitty904

            Aww!

      • Tacotruckjohn

        I wanted to be Spartacus. Doggone it! I never get to be Spartacus…

        • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

          You get to be Spartacus! And you get to be Spartacus! Everybody gets to be Spartacus! – Oprah

      • eggsacklywright

        I am a camera.

        • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

          Too obscura.

        • yyyaz

          Me no Leica.

        • SayItWithWookies

          That’s a pretty Polaroid viewpoint.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Today we are all Spartacus, or…..
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6isXNVdguI8

    • eggsacklywright

      Partner of Thank You Vagenda.

      • Sweet Vagenda

        I hate you all!!!!1111!!!

        • BadKitty904

          Call me “Ishmael”…

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            Can I call you a cab?

          • BadKitty904

            As long as you stop calling me “Shirley”.

          • yyyaz

            Call me … “Irresponsible.”

          • BadKitty904

            Just call on me, brother, when you need a hand…
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j3BymlE-oI

    • Brian

      A non-commentor by any other name, still cannot comment.

      • Sweet Vagenda

        You Monster!

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          Canned comments?

    • I’ll change my moniker when the last Social Darwinist has perished by votes.

      • Sweet Vagenda

        Can I have access to your bunker and booze?

  • eggsacklywright
    • Shanocide

      Poop on that. I used to live in Ballard.

      • eggsacklywright

        Lots of booze in Ballard, just not in the park.

    • BadKitty904

      “…a horror of eldritch foul imaginings…”

  • Sweet Vagenda

    Haha! I’m incognito now!

    • Tacotruckjohn

      So, how is it in Cognito?

      • Sweet Vagenda

        Bout the same, liquors cheaper.

        • Tacotruckjohn

          Bada BING!

  • TJ Barke

    That whole “vagenda of manocide” thing really struck a chord…

    • Sister Artemis

      … opened a door…

      • Panika MCD

        …to taco trucks.

      • Brian

        was it the backdoor?

      • Sweet Vagenda

        and a cat walked out…….

        • Shanocide

          Stay there. Cat will be back in 5 minutes.

          • Sweet Vagenda

            Maybeeeeeeee……… Then the cat will sneak up on you when you finally go to sleep and POUNCE!

        • BadKitty904

          …and took a nap.

          • Sweet Vagenda

            and then woke up and decided your glass was in the wrong place……

          • BadKitty904

            …and then took another nap.

          • Sweet Vagenda

            On your hip. And then decided to walk all over your face if you happened to change positions in the night……

          • BadKitty904

            …then galloped loudly, back and forth, through the house at 3AM, yowling loudly for no particular reason, until…

          • Sweet Vagenda

            How dare you! To reason that they there is no purpose to the running and galloping!!!

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        …and a window closed.

    • Brian

      I don’t know who anyone is anymore

      • TJ Barke

        It’s really hard because people changed their pics too.

        • vivian

          Someone changed mine, and my name too, but then we changed back so I’m not really sure if I still count as me or not…

      • Tacotruckjohn

        … we are all out to get you, Brian …

        • Brian

          I hadn’t considered that. But thanks, now I’ll keep looking over my internet shoulder.

          • vivian

            Keep your eyes peeled for the gleem of a fresh can…

      • Sister Artemis

        I never have anyway, though once I went through the most-frequent-commentors list on Disqus, and was surprised how many names I was familiar with already. And I’m mostly here late at night.

      • Sweet Vagenda

        That happened to you too? (someone please give me respect for movie references!)

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        I’m still me. *waves*

        • vivian

          Hmmm. That’s odd. I’m definitely someone else.

      • BadKitty904

        I Am BadKitty – I Change Not.

        • Mezzavagenda

          Eternal and snarky.

          • BadKitty904

            …changing yet changless as canal-water, nestling in green nowhere, armoured and effete, bold flag-bearer, lotus-fed Miss Havishambling, philomath and eremite, feudal-still reactionary BadKitty…

          • Mezzavagenda

            Any proper cat is reactionary by nature. This makes you sound a bit like a swamp with Dickens character floating about.

          • BadKitty904

            I can dig it.

    • Tacotruckjohn

      Turned into quite a clambake all right.

      • Brian

        a canned clambake?

        • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

          You Munster!

          • vivian

            GAAAAAAAAH!!?! MY WHOLFE FAMILY WAS MURDERED BY CANNED CLAMS TEHY ARE THE WORST YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL I THOUGHT IT WAS FUUNY TOO UNTIIL THEY CAME AND RUINT MY HOLE LIFE™ NOW I AM ALONE AND SCARED SCARED I TELL YOU OF CANNED CLAMZ!11!

  • Brian
  • Sister Artemis

    Fuck, I have to go back to work (stopped by here on my dinner break). And then after, go shopping for the drinkey thing!

    Thanks all you Wonkers for your support in getting our little picnic together. See some of you in person tomorrow, and all of you around these parts later tonight. And thanks, Rebecca, for crashing our party, and also promoting it. Hope this leads to a long and healthy tradition of Wonketteer Drinkey Things on a national, if not global scale!

    • Sweet Vagenda

      YAY! Best of wishes for tomorrow darling! Have fun and please take pictures!

    • Jonny On Maui

      You and WomanInAMood done real goodly there! Congrats! I wish there was a way i could make it.

  • Sweet Vagenda
    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♭ ♮Carry Me Back to Sweet Vagenda….

    • shoeflyin

      Now THAT’S a theme song, one of my favs actually

      • Sweet Vagenda

        It’s awesome! I need to take a step back when this plays.

  • chascates

    If anyone from Texas is going (or anyone from there coming to Texas) please bring me some of that state’s cannabis products to ease my suffering. Of not having any.

    • Panika MCD

      we’re getting there. we passed the CBD oil for epileptics bill, but HHSC is dragging its feet on implementation. and one of the LEGALIZE IT bills made it to both the House and Senate floors. the Senate floor discussion was particularly amusing because it appeared that Patrick (nee Goeb) may have had a second glass of wine the night before and was soooo hungover.

      • chascates

        And you know 90% of the lege had tried it at one time or another.

        • Panika MCD

          duh. you should have seen the last time they redesignated the state fungus. they got Deuell to admit that he’d tried shrooms back in the day.

          • The Wanderer

            So Rick Perry’s the Texas state fungus?

          • Panika MCD

            nah, it’s the Texas Star aka the Devil’s cigar aka https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chorioactis

            Perry is the Texas State Hair. it used to be “the bigger the hair the closer to god”, but now it’s Fmr. Gov. Good Hair’s hair. I believe that the redesignation of state symbols happens every 12 years (on a rolling basis…we have a few of these bills every session), but don’t quote me on it.

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    I expect Wonketbabby to be wearing something sophisticated tonight. With pearls.

    • Shanocide

      No, no pearls. Pearls are for clutching. Not good on a babby.

  • Panika MCD

    dear TX wonks,

    a week from today the SBOE will have a public hearing on that stupid “Mexican-American Heritage” textbook.
    https://www.texastribune.org/2016/09/06/committee-denounces-proposed-mexican-american-stud/

    Rep. Eddie Rodriguez did not work so hard to get Mexican-American Heritage into the TX curriculum to have a book which plays to all the worst stereotypes that Drumpf supporters could think up. please consider submitting at least written testimony. the Responsible Ethnic Studies Textbook Coalition has even made a nice ‘splainer for us all: http://masfortexas.org/Instructions_PCF

    thank you.

    you will now be returned to your yays and boos ’bout drinky thinks which may or may not be coming to a bar near you.

    • Tacotruckjohn

      “It was also traditional to skip work on Mondays, and drinking on the job could be a problem.”

      How the hell did you get a copy of my personnel file!?

      • Panika MCD

        “skip work on Mondays and drinking on the job” is a good description of the TX lege. though, technically they aren’t skipping work on Mondays, they’re doing the job they get paid for because we don’t pay legislators shit.

        • yyyaz

          If the pay is peanuts, you attract a lot of chimps. Which explains many state leges.

          • Panika MCD

            true story: the TX GOP has been trying to recruit a Harris Co. Commissioner to primary Debbie Riddle for at least the past decade. he won’t do it because he says he won’t go from $110 thousand a year to $13,400 every two years.

  • The Wanderer
    • efoveks

      And another up fist from the mister, who enjoyed the titteh show with the ditty.

    • Treg Brown

      Why is her head so small?

      • Jonny On Maui

        There were heads in there?

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        I wasn’t allowed to view it. It’s a shame coz I wanted to see a little head.

      • The Wanderer

        What Johnny on Maui said.

  • Astraea

    I’m sure the Wonkette Drinky Thing will be very classy
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/pmw.gif

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      The womenfolk have been slaving away in the kitchen all day making sammiches canapés.

    • TheGrandWaz00

      “No Donna Rose, you may NOT go play with the other kids!”
      http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/wine.gif

    • I Only Like Cats

      If I looked that, I would always be classy.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Well, because there’d be no spills on the top of your shirt because there’d be no top to your shirt…

    • Sweet Vagenda

      I used to date a fall down, lose your shoe drunk like that. It was humorous. For a while.

    • WomanInAMood

      How on earth did you get my picture? They told me that the film was destroyed.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Always insist on geeting every copy…

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          Should we tell her about the sex tape?

          • Jonny On Maui

            You think she doesn’t know?

          • WomanInAMood

            *giggles in a coy, yet suggestive, fashion*

    • Tacotruckjohn

      Another Brandy Alexander, please.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I’m picturing something similar to a Palin get together, but with less fisticuffs.

      • WomanInAMood

        While it’s not specific in the rules of the Portland Parks Bureau, I suspect that meth and butchering moose would be frowned upon.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          As long as butchering the English language is allowed, I think you guys will be just fine. Also, moose tipping is a thing that could happen, too.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            A moose aren’t as docile as cowz, so I’d be wary of moose tipping my ownself

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Damn it! Everyone is ruining my moose tipping fun time plans.

          • WomanInAMood

            The moose needs to be on a fucking leash. And god/dess alone knows how big the garbage bags need to be.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            I’ve never seen a tipsy moose.

          • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

            Tip your moose at least 20%, more if you receive excellent service.

    • Sister Artemis

      Exactly like that. I am starching my crinoline as we speak.

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    Kind of a party song to rock ‘n roll. For anyone who wants to rock ‘n roll. Or bewgie.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIgcUSpg1rw

  • dslindc

    Wonkette Drinky Things™ are fun! Have a blast, northwest snark mobbers!

  • Brian
  • DracaJam

    But I won’t be in Seattle NEXT Tuesday!

  • Shanocide

    Why are ALL the music videos sponsored by Menards? Googlebots are failing this mommy-blog recipe hub BIG time.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q1GVOYIcKc

  • bubbuhh

    Latest Trump on Trump Ad

    https://youtu.be/6-FUfMRgbWU

    • BadKitty904

      Well, at least he’s every up front about being crazy as a rat in a tin can.

      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        Canned rat? We’ll accept that. Just no clams.

        • vivian

          From Pleasant Valley are ye?

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            I’ve got a TV in every room, if that’s what ye mean.

          • vivian

            Here in SSL. Nah, I thought you was one of them Pleasant Valley Pheasant Pluckers I heared of.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            I’ll ask the Pheasant Plucker, if her ever comes.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Funny thing is, the Trump campaign is running the exact same ad.

    • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

      “Nuclear, just the power, the devastation, is very important to me.”

      Dafuck does that even mean?

      • Shanocide

        Needz moar dik.

  • WomanInAMood

    Just got home from work, and I second what Sister Artemis said below. Your support has been amazing! And we get to meet the babby! And of course, everyone who joins us! And I’m using a lot of exclamation points! Because!

    And because tradition, I do want to remind those that are coming that with us being a permitted nasty, vile, little snark mob, there are benefits (we can have beer and wine and grills and non-wonkers to go elsewhere, politely of course)! But there are also rules. You may have heard this before, but – no kegs. No hard alcohol. No pot. Cigarettes must be smoked on the sidewalk outside of the park. Do not bring your amplifiers. Don’t tie things to trees (yep, still funny).

    Sister Artemis and I have a couple too – enjoy meeting other Wonkettiers, and for the love of all you hold sacred, do not invite Donald Trump. You just know he would tie cheap-ass fake gold crap to every damn tree in the park. While amplified. Bastard.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I first read that as “we can have beer and wine and girls…”. Thinking, this sounds better and better with each passing moment.

      • WomanInAMood

        I wish you could join us. And completely O/T, how is Molly? And has Shadow recovered from his adventure?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Oh, beer, wine, and girls aside, I would give nearly anything to be there….just to hang in a beautiful place with likeminded souls.

          Molly’s good, thanks. Jr. returned today to pick up Shadow, who is a little exhausted after his excellent adventure. He’s an extremely sweet and loving dog, but also needs and sucks up a lot of effort and attention, so Mollypop is now basking in having me all to herself once again. Are you bringing Thor to the drinky thing? You really must!

          • WomanInAMood

            Oh yes! He is excellent with children. He will be all washed and brushed, which means he will look like a ragamuffin. Part terrier, you know? I hope that Sister Artemis gets some pictures of him with DR.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            SO glad you can take him. I really will love the photos and recap of the evening. Molly would love an event like this…she adores people and kids. And loves to play with other dogs…esp. ones she can get to chase her!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      But I think cow tipping is allowed, because it’s not disallowed in the rules… And from the looks, I think we’re not so very close to the Rose Garden, which I haven’t seen in a bit to know if it’s still rosey or not, but a rule for Portland Parks is, if the roses are rosey, no picking of the rosez.

      • WomanInAMood

        Nothing in the rules about cow tipping. Not one word. Of course, you would need to bring your own cow. And another of the rules is that you need to clean up after your pets, which must remain leashed. So should you choose to bring your pet cow for recreational tipping, please remember to keep her leashed, and bring a shovel and some 40 gallon trash bags.

        • anna rampage

          If anyone cares to bring a cow, and a shovel, and some 40 gallon trashbags, I’d be happy to that the manure off of their hands for the compost pile!

          • WomanInAMood

            This could, in theory, be the weirdest meet-up ever. Will we have the pleasure of seeing you tomorrow?

          • anna rampage

            I think so…

            My mom was just admitted to hospice care on Sunday night, and I have a flight leaving at 6:00am Thursday morn to see her & the rest of my family…

            I’m kind of a train wreck right now, but getting out and meeting new folks might be a good distraction.

            All and all, her moving towards the other side is a good thing. She’s not been well for a very very long time,

          • WomanInAMood

            OMG, I am so sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how hard that must be. You have my every sympathy.

          • anna rampage

            Thank you!

            It’s really a mixed blessing.. There are moments where I’m happy for her in that her pain will soon be over with and she gets to see what might be on the other side, if anything. And at the same time, I’m overcome with intense grief.

            She’s suffered from dementia for the last 10 years, so that’s already robbed us of having her with us for quite some time.

            All and all, this is a really good thing, and I feel so fortunate to have a pretty awesome family to where we’re all on the same page with everything that is going on!

            Her last wish was for her memorial to be a big beach party, with music, a hot dog cookout, and lots of laughs.

            Mom didn’t suck!

          • WomanInAMood

            So glad to hear that your family is dealing with this in such a sane way. And sad that you all have to. Obviously your Mom is a tremendous person.

          • anna rampage

            Thank you and I’m so sorry.

            Everyone is getting ready for fun picnicy times, and here I am, the big downer crumbing out the thread…

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Connectednesses of picnicy times are part of the communityness for when one is having a big downer time… even if the communityness is a odd sort where no-one maybe actually knows anyone, in the regular wayz. there’z no crumbing out of threadz going on here…

          • WomanInAMood

            Not even slightly. Don’t think that. Please, just don’t.

            We all go through pain in our lives. We all have sorrows, regrets and moments of confusion. Every last one of us. Because we are human. I appreciate that you feel you can tell us about what’s happening in your life. That took some courage.

            What makes us stronger during these times is the willingness to be honest. What makes us better is to connect with other people, to know that in the moment of pain, we are not alone. Should you decide to join us tomorrow, that would be lovely. If you feel you are not up for it, that’s fine too. Decide on your own terms, choose because of your own needs, and know that you have a very good group of people who will support that. I don’t know if you saw what I think of as the “love thread” that was up a couple of weeks ago. Jonny on Maui really changed how I think of this place. In short, you are safe here.

          • anna rampage

            Thank you so much for the support and the kind words!

            This is really a great community of people, nothing like I have ever seen on any other comment thread, and I so appreciate the the fun times, as well as the virtual connection that we all have here.

            I’m pretty sure I will be there, and everyone’s words of support make it fell like it’s a good, open space to be. Not to mention, I’ve already picked a bunch of tomatoes from the garden and was planning on making some fresh bruchetta. ;)

            Playing in the kitchen makes me happy, so I am off to go play for a little bit.

            Thanks for all your working in helping to put this together!

          • WomanInAMood

            Play, be happy, and know that we care about you.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Hope you can make that beach party happen…what a wonderful wish. My own mother is 92 and still kicking asses and taking names, but both she and I know her time is coming. My heart goes out to you.

          • MaiaAZ

            I hope you are able to pop in for a minute, Anna.Have a sip for me stuck in AZ :)

            Meeting people might be nice for you. All my best wishes to you and your mom. That’s a hard place. Loves to you.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            Sorry about your momz.

          • anwisok

            I am at a loss here. I wish to acknowledge and honor your loss, and simultaneously encourage you to reach out for human interaction, but I’m honestly not sure how to do so in appropriate terms. So, I will let this terse comment stand, and apologize for my inability to phrase this more sympathetically. I have suffered through the loss of my mom, so I DO empathize, even if I can’t express it appropriately.

        • Shanocide

          Giggling made that so hard to upvote!

    • Jeff in the desert

      Us LONELY desert dwellers so far away will look Northwestward and imagine drinking with the Wonkettes, while we instead raise our heads along with our hound dogs and howl at the moon….

      • WomanInAMood

        But you have Ethel and Fred! They look like very good company, especially if you want to see rodents killed.

        • Jeff in the desert

          Ethel and Fred….:sniff: have left for other places…..even the bunnies have abandoned us..:sniff: The hound dog and I are quite lonesome out here….but did meet up with a rattlesnake today.

      • MaiaAZ

        Much like Jeff in the desert…I am sad to miss out on a Wonky Drinky Thing cuz I live in the sad land of bigots.

        I hope Jeff will join me in praying to the Gods of the Cacti that we may one day too see our Wonking overlords. Especially the babby one.

        • Shanocide

          We can maybe do a Sad Land of Bigots Drinky Thing one day.

          • Shanocide

            Yeah, THAT sounds like lots of fun…

          • anna rampage

            Progressives in the land of sadly bigoty people need to stick together!

          • Shanocide

            I’m trying!

          • MaiaAZ

            It needs to happen before DR goes to college…

          • Shanocide

            Plenty of time to plan, then.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Maybe. She has a precocious twinkle in her eye…

          • MaiaAZ

            What? NO! DR is VERY ADVANCED. We’re planning her college grad party next month!

    • anna rampage

      No kegs? What is this city coming to?

      Fortunately for those who want to buy in bulk, there are always growlers!

      • WomanInAMood

        For every rule they have, I like to imagine a really, really ugly story behind it. In this case, my theory involves fraternities.

        • Shanocide

          They ruin everything.

        • anna rampage

          I actually agree with this… Kegs & city parks = crazy mayhem

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          Yup. Long ago, when college cost less than a house, an annual college thing was held at a public park. We were allowed amplifiers, so the campus radio station played contemporary music, not too loud. I we enjoyed much beers. But with much beers comes the need for much peeing, and the bathroom were little single-holers. So the males of the student body did what you always do when you’re outside, which of course got the organizers in trouble (especially since we were 100 yards from a Little League game), which in turn led to the announcement:
          “People. You’re going behind the trees at at the end of the park. And you’re urinating. Stop it or we’ll have to shut down Spring Daze.” We happily ignored it and the party did not shut down. I’ll bet there was a smell about those trees the next morning.
          Not proud of that. Bet they don’t allow beer there anymore. Or colleges, anyway.

      • anna rampage

        99 growlers of beer on the wall
        99 growlers of beer!
        Take one down
        Pass it around
        98 growlers of beer on the wall…

      • SayItWithWookies

        Y’all are so lucky — where I’m from, if you want to drink in a public park you have to fill a watermelon with vodka like back in pioneer days.

        • anna rampage

          I have a solution for that…

          Ice cold martinis in a thermos…

        • WomanInAMood

          Ah, the pioneer days!

          https://youtu.be/nPDWrrJUBOI

    • Panika MCD

      oak wilt is not a joke.

      • WomanInAMood

        Of course, you are right. Although, as far as I know, the trees at Peninsula are almost entirely conifers.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Big Douglas Firs, mostly, but some decids too

          • WomanInAMood

            It really is such a lovely place, isn’t it?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            And oh.. the rose garden in its glory… maybe the best garden in town… and the pool, built in the same era as two other Portland poolz I lifeguarded at before I was a oldz

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            OT: Is Oregon live a decent source for news? Some comments seem hokey.

          • Anna_in_pdx

            Don’t read the comments there ever. They are vile. They have little to no moderation. I am down on the Oregonian … Willamette Week and the Portland Tribune are good. And my favorite local publication is the homeless paper, Street Roots.

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            It was an article about the Bundy’s appearance in court.

          • WomanInAMood

            I like the Mercury too. Pretty decent coverage of city hall.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Warning: Donna Rose is extremely adorable, and will win everyone’s hearts.
      Rebecca and Shy are pretty nice, also, too.

    • Panika MCD

      oak wilt ain’t a joke.

    • Brian

      will you be convening afterwards to watch the Commander-in-Chief town hall?

      • WomanInAMood

        Some folks might. I get to start my day off at 4 in the am at work, so I hoping that there won’t be actual drool running down my chin by 8pm. It’s not a good look for me.

        • Really? It’s a great look for me…

  • CJTX

    Nice – ARtemis and WomaninAMood gotta be stoked!

    What’s up Wonkerinos? I’m ninja posting from class. Haahahaha. (This is about as evil as I get)

    • Tacotruckjohn

      Why you little stinker!

      • CJTX

        Nice handle…I’m actually too afraid to try the food trucks in my neighborhood. They’re not like the snooty hipster fancy pants truck – they’re like the original street truck things.

        • Tacotruckjohn

          Via con Dios.

          • CJTX

            Heh, my mom says that every time I walk out the door or go on a trip. And we’re gringos.

          • Shanocide

            Eat at a taco truck. I dare you.

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            y con carne, o con leche.

          • CJTX

            prefiero “con cerveza”

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            If you’re Spanish, please stop spitting.

          • CJTX

            Nah, as my friends from Colombia say, I speak “mexican”. I simply CANNOT listen to the Spainards speak spanish.

          • Tacotruckjohn

            Worsn them Limeys tryin t talk Inglish.

          • Rick Hill

            With some of the really spicy salsa on it. see, you’re not the only one who can habla teh espanola.

          • Tacotruckjohn

            Parlez vous le ding-dong, do you?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          “Fancy pants” is always nice to see/hear…

          • CJTX

            I love that phrase, use it all the time.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Me too. Someone thought once when I used it that it had a derisive connotation… nawwww… just a judgmentless statement of fact…

        • anwisok

          So, you’re saying they’re probably fantastic? TRY THEM!!!!

          • CJTX

            Right, especially since we’re, ya know, on the border.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Right? Fuck those free-range artisinal hipster food trucks

      • CJTX

        I think the prof is getting suspicious. Luckily she had me looking stuff up on the web.

        • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

          Ten page research paper for you on customary international law :P

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            single spaced.

          • CJTX

            The annoying student is getting to me again…guys I’m super laid back and accepting AND i take chill pills – but this annoying student is tetsing my limits like few people ever have.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Imagine a moment if said student is that annoying, how much they must annoy everyone- even his or her family members must want very little contact with them. They have no one, nothing, and maybe only a smile or nod from you keeps them from going after random victims.
            Put things in that perspective and no one is too annoying.

          • CJTX

            OH yeah, after class last week, the new friends i”ve made were talking about assignmets, the program…and then it devolved intoa bitch session about this student.

            What’s great is that as I’m finally #2 most annoying student in class.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            gigglesnort
            awwww CJ, you ain’t annoying :hugs:

          • CJTX

            Heh, you don’t hear me caffeinated, in class, and talkin’ law. ;)

            (But thank you, you guys are so sweet to me).

          • CJTX

            Oooh, forgot to tell you. Remember that whole conversation/battle that we had over the oxford comma? Of course you do. So I asked the prof today whether she wants us to use. Her answer? Come on, you know the anwser: “Doesn’t matter.”
            Doh.

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            Wit correct citations.

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            I’m sorry if I pushed your cargo pants buttons too much.

  • Brian

    Doc Maddow is leading off with the Mississippi polls. hahaha

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghhaREDM3X8

    • anna rampage

      And looking on the bright side…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5TwT69i1lU

      • Rick Hill

        Story goes, he called at like 2 in the morning, asked a guy if he could open his recording studio. They did this in one take:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_DKWlrA24k

        • Shanocide

          You’re a bastard for making me all leaky-faced.

          • anna rampage

            Right?

          • WomanInAMood

            This makes me cry. Every time.

          • Rick Hill

            I like to grab Mrs Hill and dance a little and sing to her when it comes on. One of the most beautiful things, ever.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Now that is nice and romantic and stuff.

          • WomanInAMood

            Mrs Hill is a lucky lady, indeed.

          • Rick Hill

            I tell her that whenever I want to hear her beautiful, redacted, laugh.

          • berkeleyfarm

            I do too.

            Iz and Eva. The two best renditions of “Over the Rainbow”. Both gone way too soon.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, I’m working on being a bastard for other reasons but I can’t get the hang of it.

          • Shanocide

            You’re fine. Carry on.

          • Rick Hill

            Rats.

          • Shanocide

            No. Go see Mrs. Hill. You’ll be fine.

          • Rick Hill

            She doesn’t let me be a bastard, either.

    • Tacotruckjohn

      ? Donald Trump has me so upset … ?

    • Panika MCD

      OT: you going to UnPS?

      • Brian

        UnPS? I don’t know what that means, so I’m guessing no.

        • Panika MCD

          you mentioned once having done slam in the past. Anis put out a thing about a year ago saying we should have a thing that’s all the good parts of NPS and none of the boring competition stuff. it’s happening and it’s going to be in Omaha Oct. 20-23.

  • Shanocide

    OT: So I dropped my car off this morning to get a tire fixed because last week I picked up a nail in the front right tire driving through the industrial neighborhood that gets me to my new job without having to risk a 15-20 minute delay due to trains. Turns out that I ALSO had a nail in my front LEFT tire, which they also repaired. And it was time for an oil change, which I also asked them to do.

    Here”s the fun part: When I went to pick up my car and it was time to pay, they told me it was $85 dollars. And I was dumb enough to say “IS THAT ALL? I would have happily paid $200 to not have to do any of that!”

    • Rick Hill

      A good place will plug a tire for $8-$12. The good place is the one that takes the tire off and insects it. Oil changes, those are esspensive, for some reason.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        We have our rural-based tire chain that fixes flats for free.. even if they’ve never seen you before…

        • WomanInAMood

          Less Schwab rocks!

          • anna rampage

            No kidding, I just had a puncture patched and tires rotated and they didn’t charge me…

            I kind of feel bad about not paying for services, then I remember that Les used to force his employees to make contributions to the RNC, and then I’m over all that guilt shit

          • Recipriversexclusons

            Never hurts to slip a fiver or a tenner to the one who did the work. Always seemed to have an effect on the future QoS.

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        Patches only in California…

      • Recipriversexclusons

        Darn tire insects…
        BTW, “plugging” a tire is not allowed in some states. Patch plus mount & balance would $30 where I am. O&F is $30 unless they use it as a “loss leader”.

      • anna rampage

        Always patch, never plug….

    • anwisok

      That’s a pretty fair price, honestly. round here, anyway. I need to change my oil. And do a transmission service. And rotate the tires. Change the plugs. Flush the brake fluid. Maybe plug wires? What’s the change interval on the timing belt – and is this an interference engine? Never did r&r that right rear brake line, and probably should do a flush-n-fill on the cooling system. Somebody just kill me, ok?

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        Hop to it! I got a brake job pending on my SUV. I don’t want no timing belts though.

      • anna rampage

        Timing belts are usually 80k miles, but verify that and check to see if your car has a timing chain, as those typically don’t need to be changed out…

    • CJTX

      Keep them on your phone. I use the same mechanic as the TX mom and he’s rad.

      • Shanocide

        I’ve been going to them for over 10 years. They’re very good even though the are “the earth is only 6000 years old” people according to the literature I’ve seen left out in the waiting room. I haven’t tried to press the issue of what they think engine oil is made of or how old it is because I’m just FIX MY CAR PLEASE and I don’t want to antagonize them.

        • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

          Oil iz synthetic…

          • Shanocide

            Oh, right. They remind me of that every time. I always thought that was because it’s more expensive.

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            I use a synth blend…less expensive.

          • Shanocide

            I dunno. That’s why I have a mechanic to take care of these things. I have enough other shit to deal with.

          • Arolpin

            Rocket-powered skateboards really DO prefer synthetic.

          • Matthew Hawkins

            Your local mechanics scare me. They don’t seem to be working in s. your best interest.

            Do you have friends who can recommend mechanics.

          • Shanocide

            No, not really. The only other mechanic I go to is the Fiat dealer I bought my car from, and they are the REALLY scary ones.

        • CJTX

          RIght, but people who charge you the minimum vs. the max are keepers. My guy did a thing for like $16 so I could get my inspection sticker.

    • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

      My DIY oil changes are $25-35 (because six quarts).

      • Shanocide

        My car is tiny so oil is PFT.

        • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

          Fix It Again Tony!

          • Shanocide

            Hrmph. Not so far. I’ve had plenty of other Fiats that were like that but this one seems to be fairly sturdy.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Oh, man, I thought I had that one.

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            There’s a naughty one too…

        • efoveks

          That’s a toy! (adorable though) :)

          • Shanocide

            Dude. It goes like a rocket-powered skateboard. SO MUCH FUN.

          • efoveks

            Cool! Also too, Kansas.

            When my parents were first married, my dad went to a job interview in Kansas. He had a Porsche 356 at the time and he and my mother did a little, ahem, joy riding. Although my dad ended up not taking the job, he often talked about it. (Know that this was in ’61 or ’62, and the speed limit was 75, loosely enforced..) :-)

          • Shanocide

            Yeah, we have some good driving roads. Straight or bendy, take your pick. My son came home with a $435 speeding ticket he garnered on the way to Lawrence because he was late for a concert and doing 95 in a 75 zone….and pulled over onto the wrong side of the road when the cop stopped him. Ouch.

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            Hairdryer? Is that a number for racing in the rear side window also, too?

          • Shanocide

            How much hair do you have? I WILL TAKE YOU ON!!!!

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            Slang for turbocharger…which I think the Abarth haz.

          • Shanocide

            Oh. Yes, there is turbo.

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            So, do you race that sled?

          • Shanocide

            No. I am boring. It’s a 2012 and I have 28K miles on my car because I never go anywhere. I accelerate very quickly up to the speed limit and then I’m done. And I don’t want to know what my son does in it that makes the gas mileage figures on Trip A so bad. It’s supposed to be 40/30 but the best I get in the city is 21. I guess I could drive it OUT of “sport mode” all the time but if if I wanted to do that I should have bought a different car.

            Wait, what were you asking?

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            I noticed the number on the rear window…

          • Shanocide

            Oh. That’s not my actual car. I just found that picture online.

        • Arolpin

          Abarth! That’s a spicy meatball!

          • Shanocide

            Hee! Yeah. I get people asking me about it ALL the time. Last one was “where is your car from?” And I was like “Um….I don’t know where it was manufactured.” He was just asking what make it was and (finally) went away happy when I told him it was a Fiat. I didn’t get into the whole Abarth part.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            I think I could fit your car in my car’s trunk. I am jelly tho cause I bet you get some killer good milage.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Fix It Again Tony!

          • Notreelyhelping

            Ah. I saw someone already did this. Curses, Red Baron!

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      Excellent news!

      • Shanocide

        Yes, except for the fact that I’m a bibbling idiot.

    • Matthew Hawkins

      Next time you need car service hire me. I guarantee I will not under charge you.

      • Jenvenda Manocide

        That does not sound like so much a recommendation

        • Matthew Hawkins

          Just trying to help with her anxiety of paying too little.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            We’re such a helpful lot ^.^

          • Matthew Hawkins

            I do what I can.

          • Shanocide

            Matthew seems to understand how to make people like me more comfortable. Next, I’m going to ask him how much he charges for sex because I can’t seem to figure out how to get it for free around here. Maybe I should start with taking down that Craigslist ad.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Wait, sex is free?????

          • WomanInAMood

            Only if you do it right.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            DUDE How is drinky thing????

          • WomanInAMood

            I’m honestly getting a tiny, tiny bit panicky. Neither Sister Artemis nor I expected this much, and I tend towards pessimism. “What did we forget? How can we make this comfortable for everybody? What if the big earthquake strikes?” That’s just me, SA is all over it.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            rofl, I am glad you got a good turn out, sweetie! :hugs: Wish I was there to regale everyone with my oh so terrific true stories. Have some fun for me, k?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Tomorrow at 1:20 my time i will lift my bong towards the east in salute. Then again at 4:20 my time.

            And probably lots in between…

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            What time is it? 420

          • Jonny On Maui

            It’s always 420 ;-)

          • WomanInAMood

            You know we will be saluting you too. Just not with bongs. Rules and all. I suspect a few folks might wander away at that time, which is fine.

          • Matthew Hawkins

            That is totally unfair. I am willing to go to any hotel room you have paid for. Sex is definitely free.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Hey now, Matt, ladies like to be romanced and stuff. You know, feel special. Hotel room indeed.
            Don’t you have a Chevy with a back seat?

          • Matthew Hawkins

            I have a Mazda, not the best back seat

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Damn son, git yourself some Detroit steel. Though it is probably neither Detroit nor steel anymore.
            Point being, Back Seats Matter

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            Ford used to have one-third interest in Mazda.

          • Matthew Hawkins

            I am old enough to afford a room. I don’t even find a back seat sexy anymore.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            tbh, pretty sure I am too old for hotel rooms myself.

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            True story from the streets of Redlands: An old friend was rootin’ his then girlfriend in the back of his ’66 Chevelle. He slipped out and got between her parts and the vinyl back seat. Despite her admission he finished his business not realizing the difference.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            *facepalm*

          • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

            He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Apparently not!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Just what forsaken part of Kansas are you in?

          • There are parts that are not forsaken?

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Shan’s house. About it.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I have no idea. I haven’t been east of the rockies for a long long time…

          • Shanocide

            What part isn’t, except for Lawrence?

          • Jonny On Maui

            I haven’t a clue. The closest I’ve gotten to Kansas is 30 thousand feet…

    • SecludedCompound

      Wait wait… with the new tires or after? Because those are some tires you might want to change out pretty soon if it’s “with.”

      • Shanocide

        The tires were repaired, not replaced.

  • Wish I could be there! Can I Skype in?

    • CJTX

      Good idea, i even might back an apperance that way. Or face time.

      • Marco’s carrito de la tacos

        My two extra credit briefs: Filartiga v. Pena-Irala and The Paquete Habana ;-)

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    Meanwhile:
    “Are we there yet?” — Donna Rose
    Later, rinse, repeat for eight hours.
    (I keeed, I keed.)

  • Beanz&Berryz

    And Rebecca, if you have time on your way in to town, plan to stretch your legs at Multnomah Falls, mile post 31… just 30 miles or so from the park… a left lane exit…

    • MaiaAZ

      It’s that left lane thing that’ll mess it up…who plans this exit-on-the-left shit??

      • Treg Brown

        The Brits?

        • MaiaAZ

          Considering that I drove east coast-ish highways and byways for 20 hours a couple weeks ago…I’d believe it was the Brits…it was their final act of sabotage, that was, frankly, quite effective. It was terrifying to those of us that are used to wide open sky-ways. We stopped to sleep well before we reached the Capital.

          To be fair, our goal was not the Capital, but damn close!

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Hmmm how can we fuck up those colonies? Oh I know! Round abouts, clover leafs and left lane exits!

            Sounds about right, actually.

          • Shanocide

            Right? Most of us can’t even deal with stop signs. Throw in a 4-way stop and it’s mayhem. If by “mayhem” you mean “everyone sits there for 45 minutes trying to figure out what to do”.

          • MaiaAZ

            What, wait…is there another definition for “mayhem”?!???

      • Jenvenda Manocide

        Pennsylvanians pretty sure. They like to fuck with people. Clover leafs and left exits yay!

        • Panika MCD

          I kinda miss clover leaf exits.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Just to make sure I do not miss them, VA went and imported a couple. One with a left lane exit.
            I wanted to do redactable things to engineers

          • MaiaAZ

            With votes…obviously.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            No….not with votes.
            Possibly with other…things

          • MaiaAZ

            Round-abouts and left lane exists with automated toll booths? Think of the humanity, man!

          • Jonny On Maui

            They’re engineers. Sharpened slide rules…

          • Shanocide

            Try multi-lane roundabout exits. GAH!

          • Panika MCD

            hate the roundabout.

        • MaiaAZ

          Clovers are pretty, but not when they refer to my drive.

          We more noticed the toll stops. My wife was devastated they were no longer maned by actual people. Moons ago, the toll both lady was her favorite part of her commute.

          However, PA was way nicer than I expected. I’d consider living there; far from the damn left exits, though.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            dude you take 76? Never take 76! If you are north, cut across 80 and if you are south, dip on to 70.
            76, aka the perpetual construction zone, is strictly for tourists.
            Edit: Though the NE extension is nice.

          • MaiaAZ

            I’m pretty sure we were south. I have no idea what we took…I was idiot enough to just follow the “fastest route” on the GPS. My bad.

            It was pretty, though…
            Before it got dark and terrifying with thoughts of herds of deer jumping in front of the not insured enough rental!

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            heh deer in PA are mile markers :hugs: Worse on 80 tho, cause they don’t have 76’s barriers

          • MaiaAZ

            Heh…yeah. No.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        A retrograde exit built way after the freeway, and the train tracks,and the river. A messy solution but probably the best available.

        • MaiaAZ

          Lame excuse. This is America…we need the BESTest exits to be GREAT again! pfft.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Sounds too plausible, and knowing the DOT, nothing is every plausible.
            Hypothesis: Left exits exist because..well, you are going east, right? That is left of the road!
            Bet you dollars that is it.

          • MaiaAZ

            But what if I’m coming from the North and going West? I wasn’t but WHAT IF???

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Swing down through 80, of course. It goes west ^.^

          • MaiaAZ

            Damn muddling kids…

          • berkeleyfarm

            Almost till you run out of continent in that direction!

          • MaiaAZ

            Inconvenient. Not to mention that not one of my kids lives there, so..no. But thanks!

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Well then why did you want to go west?

          • MaiaAZ

            It was a hypothetical.

            Geez.

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Darn it. I am not good at hypotheticals. Or rhetoricals.
            Or English…..

          • MaiaAZ

            It’s cool. I realize now that your way would get us to a beach.

            Beaches are good. I’m pretty sure we’d stop before hitting the ocean proper.

            Thanks!

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Well, I suppose we could raze the historic Multnomah Falls Lodge…

          • MaiaAZ

            Would that be inconvenient? Someone just took down the Duckbill in OR, so…

      • efoveks

        Monkeys on acid. (Brought to you by the same bunch that planned the freeways in Sacramento?)

        • Left Coast Tom

          You mean there’s something wrong with having to exit eastbound I-80 just to stay on eastbound I-80? Who knew…

          • MaiaAZ

            Wha??? Noooooooooooooo…………….

          • Left Coast Tom

            Here’s the culprit…

            In…semi-fairness…what’s labelled BR-80 used to be a continuation of I-80, but that doesn’t help much because further east one has to exit BR-80 just to stay on BR-80, straight means one continues east on US-50. I-80 northeast of that interchange used to be I-880, but CalTrans ran out of x80 three-digit numbers and moved 880 to the Bay Area in the early 1980s. Priorities.

          • MaiaAZ

            omg. Please…for the love of the god of your choice…*wimper*

            BR – wtf!!??11?

          • Left Coast Tom

            Yeah, “BR” being a freeway number is part of the charm.

            California doesn’t allow reusing a number across highway systems, so even though there’s no I-180 there is a CA-180 in Fresno, making “180” unavailable. All other x80 combinations are used except 480, which used to be San Francisco’s much-hated Embarcadero Freeway before the Loma Prieta earthquake damaged it beyond anyone’s will to repair. Alas that the earthquake came after the early 1980s transfer of 880 to the Bay Area.

          • efoveks

            I know exactly where you mean, and yes!

      • anna rampage

        Oregonians, that, and be forewarned, most of us don’t know how to merge correctly…

        • WomanInAMood

          Some of us pride ourselves on our merging skills.

          Sorry. Phrasing.

          • MaiaAZ

            Hey! This is a family friendly mommy recipe blog…watch yourself there, Woman! No comments allowed!!11@elevinty!111

          • WomanInAMood

            But I just get so excited!

            Dammit. Phrasing, again.

          • MaiaAZ

            Tsk.

            Phrasing is also, obviously, frowned on.

      • berkeleyfarm

        In the direction Rebecca’s coming from? I have only gone to MF coming from Portlandia but when you’ve got a river and a cliff in close proximity … sometimes your options are limited.

        (If you’d said “Lloyd Center” I’d agree with you. That’s one of the few times my father the highway engineer got lost navigating a freeway! ODOT WTF.)

  • elpinche

    Yay! It’s Adventure Baby!
    (5’10” husky mescan jumps up like a pixie!)

  • Matthew Hawkins

    Drinky Things happen in bars. Now I have to find where Golden Gardens is.

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      It’s in Portland!

      *runs and hides*

    • Skadi

      It is in Ballard, Lutefisk Capital of the West!

      • berkeleyfarm

        Ya sure, you betcha!

  • Tacotruckjohn

    More Peninsula Park lore.

    “The community center, at the north end of the park, is Portland’s first and oldest community center. The Portland Lavender Club, a dance and social group for women over age fifty, originated here.”

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      That is the most awesome club ever. I want to belong to it!
      Almost there *steeples fingers*

    • WomanInAMood

      Am I to have the honor of meeting you tomorrow?

      • Tacotruckjohn

        Your servant.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Give her a hug for me please, Sister too…

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Dittos. I myself am a cheek licker because it makes people horrendously uncomfortable, but sticking to a nice friendly hug is probably your best bet.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You’re a face licker too? If we ever meet at a drinky thing we’ll gross ’em all out

          • Sister Artemis

            Will do!

        • WomanInAMood

          I am delighted!

  • Skadi

    Golden Gardens? Watch out, I understand that place has gotten rough since I was a kid. :0-(

    • Matthew Hawkins

      I will bring my golden retriever, she is mean.

      • Jenvenda Manocide

        So she slobers you down the wrong side of your hair?

        Golden Retriever translator: You want play? I want play! Treat now? Play now! I love you I am a good dog, pet me, love me, play when done petting now!
        Best dogs ever

        • Toomush_Infer

          Jack and Lily approve this message….

  • Jenvenda Manocide

    Soooo PBS decides to do a thing on the diversifying of the electorate, which ok, it is PBS, they do stuff. Tonight started about BLM and of COURSE had to play tape of Rush being all…Rush.
    Because both sides do it.
    Come ‘on PBS, fucking stop that shit.

    • BadKitty904

      Didn’t PBS used to actually be a Public Broadcasting System? I mean, before it became a subsidiary of Fox “News”?

      • Jenvenda Manocide

        It’s not really, they are just trying…to hard to make sure everything has two sides even…when it does not need two sides?
        The current bit on the Islamaphobia is a bit better. Even found them a Christian, of Arabic descent, who’s felt it so that was interesting.

        • SeekingBarbie

          I cut them a little slack because the Republicans periodically go after them like deranged pit bulls.

  • Skadi

    And why is it that whenever Wonkette visits my old stomping grounds of Seattle, I’m in New York?

    • anwisok

      You are poor at scheduling?

  • azeyote

    why don’t you come to Eugene – it’s only 75 miles from here –

    • TJ Barke

      Right? That’s only about a 4 hour drive for me.

    • Sister Artemis

      Are you in Eugene? we should have mini-drinkey thing here, I think!

      • azeyote

        in the country just south of roseburg – drink!

  • bubbuhh

    ‘Freedom Kids’ finally suing Trump They threatened to back in July after his campaign lied and stiffed them twice. Now they are doing it. Trump continues to Make American Courts Busy Again.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2016/09/floridas-singing-freedom-kids-sue-trump-for-stiffing-them-for-rally-appearances/

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      he’s a jerb creator!
      lol, Papa must figure he better try to get his bucks before Trump spends everything on his own brand

    • TJ Barke

      That just so captures this entire election season.

      • Tacotruckjohn

        Every whore finds his profession. – E. Hemingway

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Never in my most fevered imagination did I think I would ever take the side of the Freedom Kids. Trump’s passion to financially fuck others over is truly pathological.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      You were never an important part of the grift, kids. Just like a Kleenex, you were used and disposed of. Sorry you had to learn it this way.

  • Ok…i will not be attending the Drinky thing for reasons that are two-fold; 1- i live on the other side of a different country; 2- i will be arriving at my friends’ house to prepare for my adventure of TIFF’16!

    Current schedule is 39 movies in 11 days:

    https://2016.tiffr.com/schedules/lauras

    But i have a few more vouuchers to work out.

    I will be available on the twitter:

    https://twitter.com/LauraSTIFF13?s=09

    And i have added the linky to my annual IMDb list to both my Disqus acct and my Twitter that will include reviews of everything I see, as I see it!

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      WOOT! Have fun, Pick! Remember if you see JT to tell him I said hi and maybe try to get a butt shot, you know, for the larfs

      • I am not sure of JT’s confirmation of attendance for this year, but i know this guy will be at one of my screenings:

        • Jenvenda Manocide

          oooOOOOooooo that’ll do, Pick. That’ll do.
          Bit young for me because now an almost old and all, but yeaaahhhh he might be a contender for our future cabinent?

          • He’s a possibility…but i like his cousin better:

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            It comes in PAIRS?????

          • Yes….and they are both on the TV and in the movies a lot. Are also too, Canadian

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            Friggin Canadia has all the nice things. Pout.

          • Yup. And we are not at all smug about it

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            I know, you are too nice.

        • anwisok

          Full frontal, or it don’t count.

          • I will see what i can do…but that screening is on the second day of the festival and i do not want to be arrested and miss the rest

          • Jenvenda Manocide

            light weight.

          • anwisok

            They really can’t get mad because you ask,can they?

          • I will do my very best to acommodate though. I may even dress cute that day. AND i don’t have to scurry off to another screening (which is usually what prevents my stalking)

    • WomanInAMood

      Have a wonderful time!

      • This a screen shot of my google calendar:

        • WomanInAMood

          I am impressed. You are obviously a person who is way more organized than I can ever hope to be.

          • This is mostly in self defence. There’s a group of us that all go and it’s nice to catch the subway home or grab food with someone occasionally

          • WomanInAMood

            That sounds like a lot of fun. I hope that you see many great movies!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Sexual harassers of the world, unite!

    https://twitter.com/RosieGray/status/773348066904641536

    • TJ Barke

      I bet if you look back in time you’ll see Schmannity condemning him for those leaks about the Iraq war…

      • Jenvenda Manocide

        Oh sure, that is why he is a big fat hypocritical ass XD The entire Fox team threw their heads back and howled about what a horrible no good rotten horrible person he was!!!!!! ™

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Hannity has a long history of love affairs with murderers and sexual criminals. The Bundys aside, his border militia bffs included Shawna Forde, in prison for life for murder, and Chris Simcox, recently convicted pedophile. Keep fucking that chicken, Sean.

  • Spotts1701

    Hey hey! I just got back yesterday from DragonCon. Hoo boy, that was 5 days of crazy. I am exhausted, my feet are sore, and I think I sweated out enough water to float a small cruiser.
    Since it is an election year, there were quite a few “presidential” candidates. Bender for President (Motto: “You meatbags had your chance”), Loki for President, etc. But the best were the riffs on Trump. There was a Lex Luthor (“Make Metropolis Great Again!”, a Jason (“Make Crystal Lake Great Again!”, a Game of Thrones group (“Make Westeros Great Again!”), a Trump with a bunch of assorted villains holding placards of support (“Death Eaters for Trump”, “Arkham for Trump”, etc.)…he got parodied to hell and back.
    Anyway, to show how much fun I had, here’s my Star Wars costume as I posed with professional cosplayer/costumer Riki “Riddle” LeCotey (sorry it’s horizontal).

    • Cograts! Glad you had an amazeballs time!

      • Spotts1701

        Yeah, my plan lasted all of 5 minutes. I don’t know what was crazier: the Deadpool Conga Line, the Godzilla vs. T-Rex sumo match in the Hyatt lobby, the entire group of “Matt – Starkiller Radar Technician”, the Tony Stark with his Starkettes…Whatever I actually planned was scrapped in favor of just jumping headfirst into the loony bin.

    • TJ Barke

      Make Westoros Wight Again!

    • Sister Artemis

      This came up on Berkeley Breathed’s fb feed today – yes, Sith Lord Sexxypants aka Steve Dallas, at DragonCon

      • Jonny On Maui

        If that’s the goal I’ll just drop out of the race right now…

  • berkeleyfarm

    “In a mountain greenery
    Where God paints the scenery
    Just three crazy people together”

    Love the Adventure Babby … and the scenery!

  • BadKitty904
    • Jonny On Maui

      Why is it that before I even click the link I ask, “Which one this time?”

      • WomanInAMood

        I agree. Sometimes, you just don’t need to go there.

      • BadKitty904

        Until Nov. 9th, there is only One, True Sack o’ Shit…

        • Jonny On Maui

          Yeah but there’s so many bags o’ turds in orbit…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    OT: Google Trump’s appearance at Detroit black church for THE most hilarious and uncomfortable footage ever of a white man trying to be “down” with the brothers.

    • Panika MCD

      I believe that honor still belongs to Tom Cruise.

  • Tacotruckjohn

    Also, when in Portland, visit the immortal Darcell XV.

    http://www.opb.org/television/programs/oregonexperience/segment/darcelle-xv/

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Aeghehdhsjsjsksj! McLaren! Lori! Roomates!

    • TJ Barke

      Cthulu f’taghn!

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        CTHULU MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY!

    • The Wanderer

      Gorbachev sings: Turnip! Tractor! Buttocks!

  • TJ Barke

    Fuckin’ kids these days, going to drinky things on Wednesdays…

    • WomanInAMood

      Fuckin’ grown ups these days, having non-traditional jobs that aren’t Monday- Friday….

      Seriously, I know you can’t make it, and you will be missed.

      • TJ Barke

        :<

        • WomanInAMood

          (((Hugs)))

        • Sister Artemis

          You know I’d do a south-coast thing sometime if I can – and if I’m ever zooming down 101 (as I do a couple of times a year), might like to have coffee or whatever sometime, too!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        This what happens when you allow women to make their own decisions. Schlafly weeps.

        • TJ Barke

          I’m pretty sure that now she just rots. Or not given the number of preservatives the morticians crammed into her.

          • WomanInAMood

            Vivid!

        • WomanInAMood

          From your lips to god/dess’es ears.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Like lipstick on a pig. Or something.

          • WomanInAMood

            Like bran on rice. Or whatever.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Simile Wars; this fall on The Learning Channel.

            My puppy dog just put her paws on my thigh and her head in the crook of my arm. If I’m not mistaken, it means “can we go to sleep now?”.

          • WomanInAMood

            Aaaawwww…. then obey the dictates of the very good girl. And it’s always such a pleasure seeing you here. Actually, I need to head to bed soon, myself. Gotta be at work at 4 tomorrow morning (stupid inventory), and then I think there’s something else later on. Probably should check my calendar.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Wow…I usually sleep at least until 5. Hope you get a nap before happy hour. I will be there in spirit for drinky thing. Have more fun than should be legal…so glad y’all made this happen. Shadow flat wore Molly out playing. They somehow knocked over the damn COUCH while I was at work today, which doesn’t seem physically possible.

          • WomanInAMood

            Generally, I think of exhaustion as the cheapest high. It’s certainly the most legal. And adrenaline will be a factor, as well.

            Tbh, I can’t believe the level of support we’ve had from rebecca and team. Sister Artemis is fantastic, too. I just hope I can get some actual sleep, because otherwise I’ll look and act like an extra from “Shawn of the Dead”.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Zombie Drinky Thing In Portland Goes Terribly Awry!

            Get thee to bed, amiga.

          • WomanInAMood

            I’ve always dreamed of my very own headline in the Weekly World News. A girl can dream, right?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You betcha! Forwarding the deets to World Net Daily as we speak. Will add Lizard People backstory. We’re gonna make you a wingnut rawk star, girlie.

          • WomanInAMood

            I am so blessed to have such kind friends.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            “WOMAN KIDNAPPED BY UNICORNS!!”

          • Jonny On Maui

            “All they had to eat was rainbow soft serve…”

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            And tacos.

    • Panika MCD

      since when have people involved in political thingies not drunk on Wednesdays?

      • WomanInAMood

        I’m just spitballing here, but my guess would be never.

        • Panika MCD

          that’s what I’ve gathered and I’ve only been at it 7 years.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      My boss is pretty relaxed about scheduling- she let me change my day off so I could come to this thing. ‘Course, she’s climbing South Sister on the 17th, so I’ll miss Oktoberfest in Mount Angel. It’s a good compromise.

      • Sister Artemis

        We thank you for your sacrifice!

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Sacrifice? Either way, I get to drink beer and tell jokes with good company.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You’re going to hug everybody for me too, right?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Sure. The rash is almost gone, I should be good to go.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You are an absolutely sick, sick person and I love you to death!

          • Kiri the Unicorn
          • WomanInAMood

            It will be safe. The doctors have said that I am no longer contagious, and the CDC pulled back their team this morning.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Exactly what I said to Kiri.

      • WomanInAMood

        Very pleased you will be there!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        South Sister AND Oktoberfest… such Oregonians!

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          It’s how we roll.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            How many of us do.

  • Jukesgrrl

    The 24 Hour Church of Elvis has closed, so I don’t go to Portland anymore.

    • WomanInAMood

      I approve that you stand by your principals.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Thank you, thank you vurry much.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      But is it really closed. I heard the 24 Hour Church of Elvis was seen in Tucson with Jimi Hendrix.

      • Jukesgrrl

        That was my T-shirt you saw. And, yes, Jimi does hang here … but don’t tell anyone.

  • Callyson

    Do you have an “oh, for fuck’s sake” story for us, LA Times linky?

    Echoing conservative conspiracy theories about Hillary Clinton’s
    health, Green Party presidential nominee Jill Stein tweeted, then deleted a message about the Democratic nominee’s coughing on the campaign trail.

    “#HackingHillary, here’s my prescription: Take a #JillChillPill and stop campaigning altogether to ensure global peace. #PagingDrStein,” wrote Stein, a physician, before the tweet was deleted.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Tacky.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      A whopping 1.5% of the electorate approves this message!

      #gosmokemoreweedJill

      • Jonny On Maui

        I think she’s been hitting the jimson weed…

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          That would explain much.

    • Spotts1701

      Physician, heal thyself!

  • Jonny On Maui

    OT: I’m absolutely positive I don’t want to know what the kids are up to these days. Got this from the spawn today…

    • WomanInAMood

      That is almost criminally intruiging.

      • Sister Artemis

        Imagine the chat between the ER folks later that night…

        I’m still trying to gifure out what kind of event involves the genotypes oompa loompa, 6 foot bunnies, and a guy who’s…. well I don’t know WHAT he’s into, not that there’s anything wrong with that, whatever it is BUT still…? what brought these five “people” together?

        • Jonny On Maui

          Don’t know, don’t wanna know…

          The spawn was sitting just across the room from me when he sent this. He heard my phone ping and gotta smirk on his face that I know well.

          Payback is a mother. He asked me to book his return flight. I did and gleefully placed him in the ass of the plane.

          • WomanInAMood

            And is the plane going to Pyongyang? Not that I would dream of suggesting such a thing.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Nice touch!

          • WomanInAMood

            I have long been admired for my use of satire concerning the Korean peninsula. It’s not much of a superpower, but I do my best.

    • cousin itt

      All Donald was doing was reaching out to underrepresented voters and he ends up like this.

    • TJ Barke

      That pic’s been making the rounds on the interwebs for years now.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Good. Now I know how long I’ve been under a rock…

        • TJ Barke

          It’s okay, when shit like that’s out there, sometimes under the rock is better.

        • WomanInAMood

          After seeing that, I kinda want to go find a rock to shelter under….

          • Jonny On Maui

            Scoot over…

          • WomanInAMood

            Doing my best. Maybe a bigger rock?

    • You whippersnappers may not know this, but this pictures is A Wonkettes Tradition from the Layne days used to illustrate the absurdity and decadence of modern American society in its twilight as we all hurtle ever-faster into the maw of death and dissolution. (Like I said, this was the Layne years. Things got bleak sometimes.)

  • svejk

    let me bogart this thread to remark, editrix & shy got donna rose a dirt road AND a stick AND a cute sweater AND a lake!?!!?!! good work babby makers! not having had those things, i’d sue my parents for malparenting, except they are safely dead…

    • Jukesgrrl

      Our Big Girl certainly had an excellent adventure. Love the walking stick. She has accessories for every occasion.

    • Sister Artemis

      Looks like the whole fam dambly is coming
      https://twitter.com/commiegirl1/status/773272740245626880

      • WomanInAMood

        OMFG!

      • anna rampage

        Including the in-laws? Are they going to be able to cope?

  • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

    So why exactly has Trump narrowed the gap so much? I’m no political science major

    • anna rampage

      Because of media ratings….

  • CJTX

    OT: Now this is a movement I can get behind in a big way. These fucking people fucking drive me fucking nuts.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/09/sandy-hook-dad-fights-back-against-hoaxers-with-lawsuit-and-hilarious-trump-pranks/

    • WomanInAMood

      Heartbreaking. Just fucking heartbreaking.

    • TJ Barke

      Fucking infowars…

  • Brian

    In good newspaper news, the Dallas Morning News will unveil its Endorsement tomorrow. But today, the newspaper who found Goldwater to be the last Republican they couldn’t support, had an editorial saying they wouldn’t endorse Trump. Probably they’ll endorse Johnson, but that’s fine. It’s still funny.

    http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/09/06/492891945/dallas-morning-news-trump-is-no-republican

  • Jeff in the desert

    Good night wonkers and have a great time tomorrow at the drinky thingy…..

    • Sister Artemis

      Thanks Jeff – sleep well, and we’ll try to post from the drinkey so ya’ll can be jealous as hell, and also maybe be inspired to organize your own drinkey thing.

  • MaiaAZ

    Ot:
    OMG you guys!!!
    I just got to answer a political poll! I am so excited about this! I always wonder…who do they ask? They asked ME!!!!
    AND, a javelina wandered by while I was on the call, which thrilled me!…
    I live in Arizona…doing my part to make my state BLUE!!!

    • anna rampage

      and I thought I got lucky by having this smoke spirit visit me this weekend while camping out in the back country…

      • MaiaAZ

        You might win…tell me more about this smoke spirit. What were you smoking?

        • anna rampage

          No smoky smoky for me, though I was a bit drinky drinky…. I was taking a photo of friends across the fire when it appeared…

          It looks a bit like a demon, or perhaps like an alien, but nothing ominous happened to us this evening…

          • MaiaAZ

            So a smoke spirit that did no harm? You are obviously not in AZ.

            Colorado?

          • anna rampage

            Portland Oregon….

          • MaiaAZ

            HA! Close enough!

            You Oregon peeps are so eco! Let me have my poll and javelina, ok?, you elitist.

          • anna rampage

            I think both are quite fortuitous signs!

          • anna rampage

            I think I’d rather see a javelina, then a plume of smoke that looks like an alien!

          • MaiaAZ

            There is no arguing that. He was kinda skinny, though. And alone. Not good signs. I liked him; for what that’s worth…

          • cousin itt

            Greetings from Denver.

            What did you ask?

          • MaiaAZ

            Smoke spirits…I am convinced you have happy ones. Please don’t disappoint me on this.

            I swear I won’t move there.

          • cousin itt

            I only smudge with ACME herbs. Like such as sensimilla, ganja, weed, pot, mary jane, hash, cannabis, chronic, tree, indica, rosemary and thyme.

          • MaiaAZ

            No harm in smudging.

            And I’m happy to see your garden is so diverse. The rosemary is genius.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You can count on me and Zippy. Beyond that??

  • Jane Neuharth

    Come to Olympia. I have plenty of room & refreshments

    • Sister Artemis

      I hale from Oly and visit family there once or twice a year. I’d do a drinkey thing there sometime too, schedule permitting.

      • Jane Neuharth

        Always down for adult refreshments out here. You are welcome to come on by

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Donald Trump getting sued by little girls:
    http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/09/usa-freedom-kids-are-suing-donald-trump.html

    Don’t miss the comments section, where someone has posted a Stephen Colbert clip of his “USA Freedom Adults” parody video.

  • bubbuhh

    Trump-Bondi pay for play connection widens. Not only did he pay her $25,000 before she dropped the Florida investigation, Trump Held Fundraiser For Pam Bondi At Mar-a-Lago After She Dropped Investigation
    The Republican Party of Florida paid much less for the venue than Trump’s own campaign has paid.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-pam-bondi-trump-university_us_57cf2c6ce4b0a48094a64854

    • TJ Barke

      But but but, it’s about insiders vs. outsiders….

      • What do belly buttons have to do with it?

        • TJ Barke

          EVERYTHING!

    • anna rampage

      But, but but, the Clinton Foundation!

    • Brian

      But were Trump and Bondi seen talking to Chelsea Clinton at Bill Clinton’s Birthday Party and did Hillary invite them by coughing in Morse Code?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      HRC COUGHED!!!

      • anna rampage

        I’m telling you, she has a propensity to have her lover’s pubic hair caught in her throat…

        There’s a lot of time to kill on the bus between stops after all..

        • cousin itt

          Please share my Humabrella.

          • pstockholm

            Please tell me her entourage rides around in Humavees.

    • cousin itt

      Trump’s safe word for his Bondiage is Rosebud.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Okay, the potatoes and eggs are boiled and chillin’. I’ll get to finishing this in about another bowlful.

    • anna rampage

      I’ve got the bruschetta made, the goat cheese and baguettes ready, and a jar of home made fig butter raring to go!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Oh, I’ll bring this big watermelon, too! I hope it’s still good.

      • WomanInAMood

        I am bringing a boatload of fresh corn, and some cheeses that are lovely. So glad that you are joining me in a dairy Festival! Because who doesn’t love cheese?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Note to myself: bring butter, aluminium foil, and charcoal.

          • WomanInAMood

            Have I mentioned recently how wonderful you are?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            No, you haven’t. Don’t do it too often, though; it makes me feel self-conscious and awkward.

          • anna rampage

            I’ll look in the fridge to see if I have fresh limes and a little chile powder… We can do it up mexican taco truck style for those who are inclined

    • Sister Artemis

      Well, you’re way ahead of me. I’ve been home from work for about an hour, and I’m trying draaaagggggg myself off the couch and to WinCo to shop for tomorrow. Such is the life of this busy girl. But then I’m going to eat and sit with my computer, so I’ll check back with ya’ll later.

      And: See you PNW (and Montana) wonka-picnickers tomorrow – Thanks sooooo much for being part of this!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        AND you’re coming up from Eugene! There go my bragging rights for the longest haul to this shindig.

        • anna rampage

          Where are you coming from?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Lebanon. It’s about 30 miles SE of Salem.

          • WomanInAMood

            Damn, that’s a ways.

            ETA- real potato salad? I think I love you.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Red potatoes, from an outfit in Sherwood. Fresh rosemary and eggs from our backyard. Stone-ground dijon mustard, some mayo, a few other things.
            I don’t cook much, but when I do I don’t fuck around.

          • anna rampage

            I know where that is!

            I used to pass through it when taking a break from Breitenbush and heading to Eugene!

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Oh, you know the back roads, then!

          • anna rampage

            I do, lived up at Breitenbush for a few years and Eugene was a common escape. Often times we would take the back route through the Cascades, or along the foothills on the west side

          • MaiaAZ

            *pretending not to hate all of ya’all cuz it’s not nice to do that…I obviously should move*

            will someone please message me when the drinking starts? I have a box of wine and don’t wanna be left out…thx.

          • anna rampage

            Perhaps we can live stream it if someone shows up who’s tech savvy…

          • MaiaAZ

            Fucking tease.

          • anna rampage

            Not at all, perhaps we could figure out a way to do a live stream with two way communication for future events?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I can bring my laptop- maybe I can latch onto an unsecured WiFi server.

          • WomanInAMood

            Sister Artemis just got a smartphone, and is hoping to live stream it.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Please be sure to get folks okay for their pictures going out like that…

          • WomanInAMood

            I appreciate that. I hate, hate, HATE having my picture taken. Not that I’m repulsive, or so I hope, but I fucking hate that. Just do. Be sure that any pictures taken and sent will be with full cooperation.

          • anna rampage

            Not to mention, you never know who is in a witness relocation program… :/

          • Sister Artemis

            I think I mentioned this late one night here, when Jonny was encouraging us to make this happen (Thank you!) – my SIL hates have her pic taken, much less on social media. My brother, who’s really into both, tries to get the back of her head if he wants something to share. Works out ok.

            But yes – front back or top of the head or any part below it – permission is the respectful and right way to go.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you!

          • Sister Artemis

            I’m still here (delay in picking up the grill) and still not shopping, in any case: but I probably can’t live stream, more of a live bloog thing, occasional posts with pics, that sort of thing. I don’t think I have enough of a data plan (or battery) to stream it.

          • WomanInAMood

            Sorry, didn’t mean to speak for you. I know nothing of technology. I have a flip phones for goodness sake’s.

          • Sister Artemis

            My first thought on the live streaming thing was watching the Democratic sit-in and those guys trying to swap out the batteries as fast as they possibly could, backups charging as they tried to keep that whole thing going. Pretty good little memory there, btw.

  • I Only Like Cats

    If I come to the Seattle gathering what kind of food should I bring?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Those cakes we like…

      • I Only Like Cats

        Maybe I’ll just buy canned clams then D<

        • You should transport them in a monogrammed thermos

          • cousin itt

            Within a sarcophagus. Inside a hearse.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I’m considering s’mores. But should I go out of my way for vegan marshmallows?

        • Jonny On Maui

          Ask WomanInAMood or Sister Atemis. They may know the vegan count of folks showing up…

          • I Only Like Cats

            But they’re in Portland and I’m going to sloppy seconds.

          • Sister Artemis

            You know, I used to do a lot of church potlucks, and later on, lezbo-feminist community potlucks, and people pretty much tended to bring what the hell they wanted, and post some little note if they thought some possibly-alarming ingredient was included. (Church days: “spicy!” or “has pickles”) (lezbo-fem days: “Meat!” “Dairy!” etc etc)

            Nothing’s going to please everybody, and the best thing is to bring something you yourself really enjoy to share with whoever can appreciate it.

          • Sister Artemis

            I actually don’t know much about who’s eating what – that’s part of why I thought brown-bag style was good (along with grills, because picnic) so that people could eat what makes sense for them… and then realized I wanted to bring something to share. Mine’s vegetarian, but not vegan (mayo).

          • WomanInAMood

            I am bringing cheese. In all its glorious dairyness. And I say to you, s’mores are a beautiful thing. And when made as god/dess says they should be made, they are made with milk chocolate. There will be snacks for our vegan friends. Don’t compromise on quality.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Vegetarian marshmallows are technically the real marshmallows (made with marshmallow root).

    • The edible kind? I is sarcastic

    • cousin itt

      Flowers in your hair?

      • I Only Like Cats

        I’ve been thinking about how much I want an asexual flag colored flower crown lately. Definitely with roses.

        • But the asexual flag is SOOOOOO BORING!

          …I mentioned this when it was first proposed, but the response I got indicated that maybe that was part of the point.

          • I Only Like Cats

            But I like the flag. It’s perfect and it’s the same colors as WTNV.

          • I had not heard of that podcast. It sounds like it is right up my alley. Thanks for that.

            And, lots of people like it. It was just never my thing. As I recall the Mrs. and myself were stumping for less muted colors. As it stands, it kind of looks like Zach Snyder’s concept of what purple should look like.

  • Ugh. Once upon a time, a LONG time ago, my bosses denied me time off, then forgot that they denied me the time off and scheduled me off, anyway.

    I was really, really hoping that this would be another such time, but no dice.

    Enjoy your drinky sextravaganza! I shall be snarking in your general direction from ever-so-lovely Mason county.

    • I found out today that i have roughly 3 months worth of sick time banked at work…mental health days are looking exceedingly attractive

      • Jonny On Maui

        As having taken a mental health day yesterday I highly recommend them.

        • Hard to justify right now. Vacation time started as of 910 tonight!

          • Well, you’re going to need a mental health day to recover from your vacation when you get back, then.

          • Already built it in! As my vacation is an exercise in sleep deprivation, the recovery days are a necessity

          • Jonny On Maui

            Oh goodie! SD Hallucinations!!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Listen to kaw…

      • I don’t know about you (but based on what you’ve said, I can surmise), but at this point even three months of sick leave wouldn’t even begin to restore my mental health, at least when it comes to my employment.

  • Sheepshagger

    Thoughts on the world in general courtesy of Kim and Frank:
    https://youtu.be/jF3blrFjl-8

  • Sister Artemis

    on the playlist in my background just now
    https://youtu.be/N-UvF_h222U

  • anna rampage

    Well kids, my battery is about dead and I should get to bed.

    Goodnight y’all and looking forward to meeting up with the Wonketteer Club tomorrow!

    • Shanocide

      Ditto and have SO MUCH FUN! G’night!

    • Sister Artemis

      Good night!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night anna.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Konbanwa!

  • Anna_in_pdx

    Ok I will be there after work, and looking forward to meeting woman in a mood, anna rampage, sister Artemis, the editrix and fam, and… Everybody!

    • WomanInAMood

      Right back atcha!

    • Sister Artemis

      YAY!!!! that good news!

    • Have fun!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Shiny!

  • Jonny On Maui

    Time to piss off the neighbors…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUb1p8fm7Ag

    • I can think of much more certain ways to piss off the neighbors. Because this wouldn’t piss me off, as a neighbor.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I have neighbors on either side of me. Old, retired, white men just like me except I’m not angry all the time, or most of the time for that matter. They play golf and desire nothing less than a return to the 50s. They’re pleasent enough but it’s like two different sets of junk yard dogs shut in a cage.

        I truly hope the next tenant here has multiple teenagers…

        • I someday hope to be an old, retired white man such as yourself, my friend, wondering why and when my peers skipped the groove.

          • Jonny On Maui

            From what I gather a lot of us fought to get to the top and once there, never looked back and tried to freeze time. So they never saw the people that helped them get to the top and got further and further behind until at some point they don’t recognize anything they see anymore.

            Hence, the anger.

            But that’s just my observation and guesstimate…

          • cousin itt

            So they never saw the people that helped them get to the top and got further and further behind until at some point they don’t recognize anything they see anymore.

            Amen, brother.

          • cat cafe

            Don’t you think it’s (1) they played the game with certain rules that favored them automatically over everyone else (blacks, women, especially women)–and suddenly blacks and women have a teeny bit of that pie, and it feels absurdly threatening and (2) decades of Fox News and hate radio viciously riling them up and constantly hammering home the message that they should continue to be superior and to be furious at blacks and women for not knowing their place?

            I know when I was a mere grad student, eons ago, it was absolutely common to put us women down, find excuses to refuse us access, make passes at us and then fire us if we refused, deny us jobs, mock us openly and ask why we weren’t home having babies, on and on and on. White men got everything first, and all of it. Evolved men aren’t threatened by the changes–they embrace it and respect it. But weaker men can’t stand it–it’s the only way they got ahead.

          • Jonny On Maui

            While it’s true that the competition favored the AOWM (angry old white men) the competition among them was still vicious and brutal with the losers left with even more issues and hatred.

            I spent my career basically building and testing stuff for the government. Although those in the government feel it’s their right to be as abusive to others as they can they don’t tolerate that nonsense from their contractors. So the HR group was constantly training us white guys as to how society was changing. As we were hired because we demonstrated that we were trainable, it sunk in for most of us. Those that couldn’t accept the evolution of the workplace were let go so the true morans learned to keep their mouths shut.

            For the record, faux news usually blared from the monitors in the breakrooms, so there is that.

            I did lead a sheltered career. None of the actions you mention in your second paragraph were tolerated at the salt mines. Granted this was because if they did occur, contracts would be jeopardized, not because it was the right thing to do.

            AOWM are a dying breed. I believe they’re dying off faster than they’re being replaced. I hope to see them extinct in my lifetime, but I’m not holding my breath.

    • cousin itt
      • Jonny On Maui

        Yup! windows are closing. Excellent!

    • cousin itt

      What an awesome song. Great lyrics. I am so digging it.

  • Hey, editrix. You know what’s between tomorrow and next Tuesday? That’s right: Olympia! And a weekend, also, too. Sundays are pretty in Olympia, except when they’re not — and even then you can drink until the weather is perfect!

    Though, I’ve got to say, given the spread the Portlandia Wonkets are putting on, there would be muchly pressure to outdo them. Or, we could just go all hipster and refuse to outdo them and be happy with Corn Nuts and PBR, because, otherwise, we only eat new foods that they probably haven’t heard of, yet.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I got this durian you can have…

      • Before they closed down the local Oysterfest (because the people who own the fairgrounds are assholes), and before I became a driver (because my market closed down because the owner wanted a life), we’d enter the cooking competition. Each year, something asian-infused would win, because the judges were just like that. I vowed to use durians in the next year’s dish, but we didn’t yet know that the last one had already happened. THEY WANT ASIAN? WE’LL GIVE THEM ASIAN!

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Live baby octopi or GTFO!

      • I Only Like Cats

        I had a durian shake in Toronto. The aftertaste was strong but I enjoyed it.

        • I’ve always like them, too. But, apparently it is very weird to like them if you are an amero-type. We’re weird.

  • WomanInAMood

    I seriously have to get to bed. Stupid work. For all of you, I am so glad to have such a good group of friends. I love you.

    https://youtu.be/nNF1Rh1RQFo

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Okay, see you tomorrow!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night WomanInAMood. Sleep well.

    • Sister Artemis

      Goodnight! I’ll check in with you in the morning!

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I’m surprised it took me this long to think of this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsXwsNqAOJM

    • I’ve had it in my head for the better part of a week. I have no idea why. Because my brain hates me, I think.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Your brain wants drugs.

  • Sister Artemis

    ok, the grill-owners are home and off I go. Hopefully one or two of you will still be checking in later.

    I am honestly like a kid before camp. Less packing though.

    • I will prolly be around, in one form or another. (That is, either drunk or not. The latter isn’t looking so good, though, to be honest.)

      • Sister Artemis

        Hi! Drunk yet?

        • Eh. Somewhat mellow after a difficult day, perhaps. I can still type and spell without assistance from Microsoft, so I’m probably still in command of my faculties.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Well then you’re behind. Catch up!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Good thing. I got a big barrel-type grill, but it won’t fit in the Toyota and I ain’t about to drive Crissy’s F-150.

  • Brian

    from what I gather this would be swiftly punished at tomorrow’s gathering.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGBw4pmR5ro

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Beer Review: Elysian Night Owl Pumpkin Ale
    I like stuff that’s malty and lightly hopped and this is built on such a base, but the spices are kinda unsubtle. Dial it back, guys- the Belgians are snickering.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Taco trucks on every corner!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eubhg1gTyj8

    *nods in the general direction of Gene Wilder’s ghost*

  • Jonny On Maui
  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Jonny On Maui
      • Sister Artemis

        The song that switched me from “oh yeah, I know that music” to “OMG I LURVE CREEDENCE!!!!”

    • Brian

      I’m sure you are a fine human being, but if you’re going to keep posting the worst versions of great songs; I may have to disassociate. When will you post the Red Hot Chili Peppers Higher Ground?

      in the mean time

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iDj1D2OimM

      • Jonny On Maui

        That’s right, IMS you’re not a CCR fan.

        Or is my memory really as screwed up as it’s trying to tell me?

        • Brian

          you are correct. CCR is the worst, IMO.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Hey, to each their own…

          • Brian

            art, man, opinions may vary.

      • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Jonny On Maui

      Kicks the shit outta Tom doesn’t she?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Gotta agree.

      • Kiri the Unicorn
      • Brian

        not like Tom Petty was anything but a Bob Dylan wannabe anyway.

        I guess I’m in music hot take mode tonight. But CCR and Tom Petty are two of the artists that I am most confused about why anyone likes them. If someone posts a Widespread Panic or Black Keys song I may explode.

        anyway, here’s what a good cover sounds like

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I70opS7tTuE

        • Jonny On Maui

          And there the differences lie, The White Stripes do nothing for me, try as I might…

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Jonny On Maui
  • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》
  • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》
  • I don’t usually go for those spot-on cover versions, but this is an exception:

    https://youtu.be/8e2fJfiddx4

    • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

      Yeah, but that one is incredible.

    • cousin itt

      OMG, that is the awesomest. And with Michelle and Barack rocking out!

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Covers? Are we doing covers?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jadvt7CbH1o

  • Jonny On Maui

    I’ve posted this cover before…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV4oYkIeGJc

    • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

      I don’t care for Disturbed’s original stuff too much, but they do some fine covers.

      • Jonny On Maui

        They’re a big part of my playlists. Different strokes…

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Not a cover, but thematically related:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDaOgu2CQtI

  • Syd’s Pink Floyd gets the David Bowie treatment, and might actually surpass the original:

    https://youtu.be/TkG1KT2Ro_o?list=PLJ8y7DDcrI_peVju93ePwa35YsYyINkkR

  • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》
  • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Outstanding!

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Okay, shutting it down now. Be good to each other, people.

    • Sister Artemis

      See you tomorrow!

      • Jonny On Maui

        The closer it gets to tomorrow the more i regret not being able to make it.

        • Sister Artemis

          I know you will be with us in spirit, or virtualness, or something. I wish you could be here – your encouragement is a major part of why this is happening. Next year in Hawaii!

          • Jonny On Maui

            We’ve had the first annual here on the island. Any time any of you show up we’ll have the second annual.

            I’m looking forward to it!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Kiri.

  • Tim Buckley gets the goth treatment from This Mortal Coil, a depressive supergroup led by the founder of 4AD records and featuring a rotating cast of notables. In this case, it’s a Cocteau Twin on vocals:

    https://youtu.be/HFWKJ2FUiAQ

    • eggsacklywright

      Love Elizabeth Fraser, never tire of the Twins. Thanks.

  • Sister Artemis

    Covers outside of the artist’s genre? More Shawn Colvin (big fan)
    https://youtu.be/Dj_oEx4-Mc4

  • Sister Artemis

    Hi kids! Thanks for not sleeping!

    I’m back from the grocery store, all loaded for bear (or picnics, whatever) and having a loverly tuna melt and counting heads…. in the thousanty eleven or so comments we’ve racked up here.

    Are you a lurker? are you nervous about comign to our little soire and drinkey thingey? COME ANYWAY!!!! We will love you and and have fun!!!

    Anyway, I’m back, I’m delirious, and I’m not headed to bed quite yet!

  • Manocide:_The_Vagenda_of_Fate

    I just wandered in and saw some of the cool kids sharing covers, so I thought I’d try to fit in. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sBmK6OLPQh8

    • Jonny On Maui

      Oh you’re fitting in just fine…

  • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》
    • Brian
    • Jonny On Maui

      That’s exactly the style i grew up with, that and jazz/big band. My dad was into music and actually traced the origins of a lot of the music I brought home, it was great.

      I make no secret that I prefer music that runs from 50 caliper to 80 millimeter… ;-)

      There’s room for all beats

  • freakishlystrong

    Have fun! And snuggle that lil’ puddin’ pop. And come to Fl. dammit. There was no way I was going near Tampa with that many Republicans in it..

  • TheGrandWaz00
    • Jonny On Maui

      Okay! The bobbleheads are giving me giggling fits…

      • TheGrandWaz00

        I’ve got one I think you’ll enjoy I was going to wait til dance party tomorrow for, but I’ll post it now if you’d like.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Wait for tomorrow please. The lawn mowers start at 0530 and I’m off to bed. Good night!

  • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》
    • Jonny On Maui

      Heresy!

      Uncle Robbie does movies and yes, comedy too!

      • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

        Never said I wasn’t a fan, the guy puts on one hell of a show.

        • Jonny On Maui

          That’s true! I’ve got some concert ts that are something else. Not fit for public comsumption…

          • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

            Hell. He got better with age. Saw White Zombie and wasn’t impressed. Rob Zombie blew me away though.

  • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

    Speaking of Misfits, well, former ones.

    And without further adieu, I must bid you adieu, Wonkers.

    Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DkZDYa_fh1NI&ved=0ahUKEwjNruDW4PzOAhUI5CYKHc1yADkQyCkIHjAA&usg=AFQjCNG_Y4UK-DLTo4hcIW9ef-EThrL2Sw&sig2=GxzNjUvAeL5fP7ZN0YdRiA

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Vagenda.

      I never thought in my entire life I would ever type that.

      • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

        Are you sure? It’s like George Foreman saying goodnight to his kids around here lately……..

        • Jonny On Maui

          And who in the fuck changed their handle to Sweet Vagenda?

          That’s gonna cause a lot of coffee screens…

          • Suttree

            The asshole who has to wake wake in an hour. Sweets dreams Jonny!

          • Suttree

            Tahdah! I came out of hiding!

          • Suttree

            Shut up and get on a boat or time machine or whatever the fuck you use on the west coast and go to drinky-thing you fucker awesome human being!

          • Jonny On Maui

            I about lost it. Way to go!

      • Sister Artemis

        Every day on Wonkette is a teachable moment, isn’t it?

        • Jonny On Maui

          I learn something ever time I come here. Maybe not something I want to learn…

          • Sister Artemis

            Still reeling from that pic your spawn sent you, huh? I know it wasn’t Wonkette-derived, but it coulda been, amirite?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Did you see the comment about the history of that pic? Apparently it was here long ago.

          • Sister Artemis

            I did not. Though I saw that pic about a year ago, and guessed them it was not a fresh one.

          • Suttree

            If no one has a pic I’ll just add this one in here.

          • The Wanderer

            Cthulhu riding a moose. All the arguments, invalid are they.

          • Sister Artemis

            It really does capture it all, doesn’t it?

          • Suttree

            life is void

          • Suttree

            Hey sweet sis. Are you ready for today? I feel nerves already! I already blame you for waking me up this early. :)

          • Sister Artemis

            I am (almost) ready – there’s the broccoli to chop, but toking must happen beforehand, and then pets to get settled before I take off tomorrow (I’m doing the Drinkey till whenever (dusk? later?), then driving three hours to my boss’s house, then working with her all day out at the coast, then driving back to my very own town late Thursday to work Friday…. gonna be a long but exciting trip)

          • Suttree

            I wish you all of the best! Have a great time y’all!!!!! I’ll catsup around 7 pm and lol and love at you guys! Give all the hugs for me!!

          • Sister Artemis

            7pm in foreign-time-zone time? Are you on the east coast? will you be checking in 3ish? 4ish? in The Real Time of The Pacific Northwest?

          • Sorry for just missing your bedtime wth this, but here’s the circa-2009 Ken Layne year-end post in which the dynamic documentary photo of Frontbutt, the Easter Bunny, et al., forever seared themselves into the fractured Wonkette psyche:

            http://wonkette.com/412909/a-decade-of-funny-pictures-part-ii-vii

            The haunting auto-play backing track by Antony & the Johnsons will be performed by a children’s choir at my funeral.

            [NOTE: Every single image on the post got stripped in a server “upgrade”, which is a shame because when paired with the pics, it really was something surreally sublime. You’ll just have to use your imagination…]

          • Sister Artemis

            I came to Wonkette after the whole “Ken Layne” period of Wonkering. I’m still not sure what I missed.

          • I’m still not sure what I witnessed.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Holy Crap! Thank you for the history!

    • Sister Artemis

      Goodnight Vagenda! If Jonny hadn’t pointed it out, I’d probably have typed out your full name, but now…. well

      I’d like to thank the creator of that sandwich board for all the delight we’ve had with it!

      • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

        It’s like the non-commenting version of the Ramones now. That town crier is probably back to screaming about HAARP and the Trilateral Commission, but the legacy lives on.

        • Suttree

          Wait what?! No Bilderbegers?!

          • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

            Shh. They’re taking a long holiday at the Bohemian Grove with the Lemurians.

          • The Wanderer

            Build-a-Burger? Cool. I like cheddar cheese and bacon on mine, with sliced red onion under the meat (so the hot patty and all those tasty meat juices can cook the veggie).

          • Suttree

            mmmmmmm

  • Marco’s carrito de la tacos
  • Vagenda 21 (Royal Ugly Dude)

    Are we still posting covers? Here’s Rush, for what it’s worth…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtthmDap7DA

  • Sister Artemis

    Night kids – I now go to the kitchen to chop broccoli, then clean the catbox and bunny cage before crashing. Notice the order – I believe in germ theory, like any good librul should. See ya round this parts tomorrow morning before I take off for The Event. See you there, in spirit or in flesh!

  • Jonny On Maui

    Folks, that’s it for me. Thank you for another very pleasant evening.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J74ttSR8lEg

    • Vagenda Is Fo(u)r Lovers 《MCP》

      Goodnight, Jonny. A pleasure as always.

    • Sister Artemis

      Night Jonny – and fyi, that is one of my favorite tunes.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      David Crosby looks so lifelike.

  • Sister Artemis

    Night kids – I now go to the kitchen to chop broccoli, then clean the catbox and bunny cage before crashing. Notice the order – I believe in germ theory, like any good librul should. See ya round this parts tomorrow morning before I take off for The Event. See you there, in spirit or in flesh!

    • cousin itt

      Never trust the germans.

  • Suttree

    I just found a $50 bill next to my missing lobster (my lobster somehow found it’s way into a corner). I am unsure if I should drink less, wonk moar, or become a fisherman.

    • Sister Artemis

      “my missing lobster” is a whole story begging to be told…

      • Suttree

        I went to sleep with a mouse, a hedgehog, and a lobster. I woke up without a lobster.

        • Sister Artemis

          I don’t know why, but I choked up (and giggled) a little reading that.

          • Suttree

            Teehee! I literally have a lobstah in my lap right now. (yes it’s stuffed) But it wandered away in the middle of the night!

          • Sister Artemis

            Lobsters will do that. Barely domesticated…. especially the stuffed ones. They ACT like they want to cuddle, but their little lobster brains sometimes can’t quite deal.

          • Suttree

            Magnets, how do they work? Ha! The lobster was right next to the cash! I either sleep walk, or there is a magical lobster god that loves me! BTW I did not have this cash on me.

          • Sister Artemis

            both?

          • Suttree

            I sleep eat. Do not expect to have any cheese left in your fridge if I sleep over!

          • Sister Artemis

            You’d be amazed at how much cheese is in my refrigerator. And, I have cut back over the years. Still, lots and lotsa cheese. Lots.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            AND TALK ABOUT PINCH!

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Laptop Lobster, my new band. Unfortunately I will have to move to Maine.

          • Sister Artemis

            Yeah, but you’ll get to tour the 48 contiguous states, and Canada, America’s attic
            (please don’t hit me, neighboring Canadians!)

          • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

            Beats the heck out of Lapdance Lobster.

        • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

          So, a Tuesday.

      • Suttree
      • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

        For sale: one lobster, never used.

      • Suttree

        You should hear the story about mama jeebus! She was a rooster with a baby chick that was purchased on the street in New Orleans. She used to make the rounds to all of the locals with me! And then there was the dragonfly, Willy Bandit! Yes I am insane.

    • btwbfdimho
      • Suttree

        I stopped smoking 16 years ago! Ha! Awesome!

        • Lizzietish81

          This reminds me of a story about my great grandparents.

          The doctor asked my GGfather “Do you smoke Jim?”

          He replied “No!”

          My GGmother fell out of her chair.

    • BeachBum

      I tried drinking less but it didn’t help that much. Just made the homeless man that goes thru my trash for cans mad. FYI most fish are way smarter than most fisherman.

  • Sister Artemis

    OT, my cat likes to get high. He’s almost 11 now, so I figure he can make his own decisions. When I pull out the pipe, he comes and sits in the exhale stream, though he doesn’t like big clouds of smoke much, So over the last couple of months, I just hold the pipe about 2 inches below his nose, and he breathes it in, instead of pulling his head away like one would expect.

    I don’t know whether I’m helping him make bad life choices, or assisting him in living his life as he chooses. He pretty much eats, sleeps, grooms, and cuddles, so I don’t know how I can actually be THAT bad of an influence.

    Opinions?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Rebecca? I’ll be needing that cat (lion) suit your child wears, before I head on over to Sister Artemis’ place…

    • Suttree

      So long as he isn’t selling his wares on the side of the street I think that he is ok. He doesn’t have a cell phone does he?!

      • Sister Artemis

        His lack of opposable thumbs makes his texting AWFUL!!!! Had to take the phone away from him. Plus the cat-porn…. need I say more?

    • Suttree

      And or, watch out! My lobstah might be starting a mob with your cat!

    • Suttree

      Also too, I need pictures of real live animals. I cannot have one where I live. GIVE ME KITTY PICS!

      • Sister Artemis

        Well…

        • Sister Artemis

          19 lbs of lazy

        • Sister Artemis

          My first picture post from new smrt gadget to Wonkette.com. this should work for tomorrow, too!

        • Suttree

          OMFG! My day just improved 3000%! Thanks! How did he get paws that big?!!!!!! Meow meow meow meow!

          • Sister Artemis

            Sheer laziness, I think. And excessive grooming. If he could be an upper class cat, I think he would – eating chef-preparred catfood out of crystal bowls, constant grooming by subservient human attendants, plus beds at ALL the appropriate locations, a cat box that is cleaned once and hour…. and probably martinis. It’s the tuxedo coloring, I think, that perfectly expresses his absolute lovable cad personality.

          • Suttree

            If you look closely at my avatar, it is a cat sitting on a counter drinking a martini. It is cropped so you don’t see the bubble saying “Get off of the counter? I told her…..”

          • Sister Artemis

            I did notice your avatar – a cartoon saved on my laptop, and one I post from time to time because it cracks me up…. and for those who are curious https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/78027afb27f803103382e6e9b6aa1976063f235ce8c4a1572544a5764c1c2f29.jpg :

          • Suttree

            OMG! I love you! I don’t even have that saved on my computer. My aunt sent me that ‘toon a few years ago because as she said “this describes you perfectly”. My aunt knows me well!

          • Sister Artemis

            Actually, about the paws: he’s part Maine Coon – there’s a whole part-M.C. population where I live, probably some Tom that got loose for years making sweet love to all the lady cats – and though my guy doesn’t have the stripey coloring, he has the mane and the body type and the face. And the paws. He’s not as big as a M.C., but he’s a Big Boy. A Big baby boy.

          • Suttree

            meow meow meow meow meow ?!

          • kareemachan

            My Freddie is the same – big paws, right body type, tufty ears, furry and fluffy, and the sweetest personality ever. We suspect there’s MC in him, except he’s only 17 lbs…

      • Lizzietish81

        ThinkGeek sent me an email yesterday saying I want these. I don’t know how they know but…

        https://www.thinkgeek.com/product/jhgq/?rrec=true&pfm=Recs_Home_jhgq_1

      • BadKitty904
    • Jenvenda Manocide

      My bro had a cat who was a stoner cat once. He ended up over eating himself quite a bit too much but he’d get into the garbage and steal table food and all of that. So long as you don’t let him do that and keep an eye on the respitory, cats are gonna do what cats are gonna do

    • Lizzietish81

      My sister’s cat, or rather my brother in law’s cat, Godzilla was the same way.

  • Suttree

    Tell me I’m right, tell me I’m wrong. Tell me there’s no one else in the world!

  • Sister Artemis

    ‘Night, wonkers. See you in one reality or another tomorrow (er… today!! shit, it’s 3:30ish in the morning…go to BED, Sister A!!!!)

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      indeed, you need to be bright eyed and bushy tailed XD

    • No it isn’t, it’s 11:30 in the morning.

  • Astraea

    hahahaha, I’m so glad I finally watched this
    https://youtu.be/8CtrLnBxeNY

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      Dalmations for Cruella XD

      • SecludedCompound

        Jesus, who ARE you? You’re my new favorite….

    • kareemachan

      Well, this is a guy who rips off other Hispanics for $$$. Of course he fits in with trumpette.

  • Barbararhawkins3

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !oe564f:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !oe564f:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash814MarketOrangeGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!oe564f:….,…..

  • Teecha

    Completely OT- I’m just about to start teaching a unit which requires my students to have a grounding in the organisation of US government- senate, congress and the states.
    Before I dive into Wikipedia, can any of you gorgeous and intelligent Wonketteers direct me to (or type out for me) an overview of the political system? I’ve got a vague idea how it works in comparison to the UK, but my kids live in a country which works in a totally different manner. And I have a headache, which added to my natural laziness, is making this a tricky job.

    Big love in advance, xxx

    • Please Vagenda Bozilingus
      • Teecha

        That’s amazing! Thank you!

    • I was trying to find the clip of Homer teaching Apu about the U.S. government (complete with the electrical college), but t’aint on YouTube, so… Just pretend that I posted it…

      • Teecha

        Why thank you!

        • Unfortunately the US lacks the equivalent of a Yes, Minister or No Job for a Lady to really help the uninitiated.

          Was there any particular aspect that you were especially interested in or confused by? That’s a pretty big subject. (And, because we’re Democrats, we like it that way and want it even BIGGER!)

          • Teecha

            Well, the thing is, I have almost no idea how it works at all!

            I know you have a president and 2 houses, and after watching that video, I know that things start in congress and go to the senate and can be vetoed by the president. Which is comparable to the two Houses of Parliament in the uk. Except for the queen. Who has no power.

            But how do you vote for your congress people and senators? And how do you vote for your president? And what are the checks and balances? I understand the term, but how does that work in reality?
            How does the Supreme Court relate to the lower courts? I see mentions of lower courts here… And finally, how are the states governed? Same shit, different scale?

            Basically, I need a ‘how does the USA govern itself?’ overview.

          • We vote for congresscritters and the president the same way. We have local primaries in which we choose the actual candidates from (presumably) a larger pool of potential candidates. The timing of the elections is staggered so we aren’t sweeping everyone in and/or out at the same time. That is also why you will hear Americans bitching about “mid-term elections” screwing everything up. If we aren’t electing the president, people don’t tend to go out and vote and that’s how we can get a Republican majority in congress even though we elected a Democrat (twice). The states can easily be understood as more of the same, but smaller and there are 50 of ’em (although the elections aren’t always staggered in the same way on the state level).

            Insofar as the checks and balances are concerned, we’ve got three branches of government, the executive, the legislative and the judicial. The executive is the President, her cabinet and the various bureaus and agencies they run. Legislative is Congress (and that Schoolhouse Rock song is a good overview of that), while the judicial is the courts.

            Theoretically, any case that starts in a local court can wind up before the Supreme Court. If one doesn’t like the decision on the local level, one appeals the decision to a regional court and then a state court and on to a Federal court until one gets all the way to the Supreme court. The Supreme court, however, doesn’t have to hear every case that gets referred to it. They choose the cases they feel have merit. If the Supremes decline to hear a case, then the last court’s ruling stands. If the Supremes do choose to hear it, then their decision is considered Constitutional law and that’s final. Until they decide to hear another case on the same subject, or unless they can’t come to a decision because Congress won’t hold hearings on a replacement justice.

            At least, that’s how it looks to me, a person whose experience with lawyerin’ begins and ends with LA Law. There may or may not be something in there that someone else can come in and say, “Well, actually!” and people around here are pretty good about doing that.

          • Teecha

            Thank you, that’s really helpful!

            One final question – when you vote in the presidential election, is it one person one vote? Or is it that the majority in one vote say Hillary, so she gets a vote from that state?

          • Oh! Good question. We don’t vote for the president directly. Instead, we vote for electors who then actually vote for the president. Every registered, adult-type person does get one vote, yes. And each state gets a certain number of electors, based on population. For the most part, whomever wins the state, wins the electors. That’s where you get the red state/blue state stuff, because some states always go to the Democrats or to the Republicans. (Last time around it was big news that Dallas went blue for the first time in forever, but Republicans still won the state, like they always do.) And that’s also where you get the swing states, the states that can go either way. This is also how you can have a president win the election, but lose the popular vote — all you really need to do is win the states with the most electors. In theory, the electors absolutely will vote the way the election told them to. However, they aren’t, strictly speaking, required to.

          • Teecha

            You are a total star- thank you for your time and effort here!
            Big love and appreciation x

    • BeachBum

      If you pay for my airbnb, and a pint, I will come teach it.

      • Teecha

        I’ve got a spare room, and I just went to the booze souk last week, so I have cider and vodka (and bacon!)

        You’re welcome to! (You’ll need to cover your own air fare- but Qatar airways have a sale on…)

  • Catstro

    Dallas Morning News endorsed Hillary—the first time they’ve endorsed a Dem since before WWII

    http://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/editorials/20160907-we-recommend-hillary-clinton-for-u.s.-president.ece

  • Rick Hill

    economic advisor for trump says they will pay for his agenda by eliminating:Depts of commerce, education, labor, TANF and lifting all regulations on fracking and drilling.

    Well, now we know he’s a serious candidate with a plan…..

    • Astraea

      Gut the things that actually make the country work to make a few extra bucks before the whole thing crashes. Yep, sounds like a modern CEO.

      • Rick Hill

        I’d like to see what he has planned as his golden parachute. You know a guy who has a plan to rip off everyone while getting elected is drooling over the prospect of what he can get as preznit. This has gone way beyond joking, now.

        • Astraea

          That Russian business he’s been drooling over for most of his adult life, maybe?

          • eddi

            I doubt the current bunch would let him in their sandbox.

          • Rick Hill

            I’m starting to think of what he’s said with what he might do: “Hey, Israel. I here you got a problem with Palestine. I’ll handle it. Tomorrow at 3 we’ll nuke them till they glow.
            “Huh!WTF donald, you can’t do that!!!!”
            “What’s it worth to you if I don’t….”

          • Please Vagenda Bozilingus

            Sell Alaska back to the Russkies and keep the proceeds for hisself?

          • Astraea

            I think that’s probably permitted in Article XII.

          • Rick Hill

            He’ll only take his commission, off the top of course.

      • BadKitty904

        Definitely the standard GOP Après moi, le déluge “strategy”…

    • BadKitty904

      Or a really unfunny “Dr. Evil” impersonator.

    • pstockholm

      A man, a plan, a canal, armageddon.

    • As a Canadian, I’d be laughing hysterically, but we still haven’t gotten OUR wall built yet…

      • Rick Hill

        Better make it another kilometer taller….

      • Marla

        Little late now. Micheal J. Fox has been here for quite some time.

    • btwbfdimho

      Dept of Labor, gone?
      United States of Trumpestan…
      And Homeland Security will be renamed Real Estate and Penthouse Security.

    • phoenix00

      He’s got that Pence man doing his policies, both foreign and domestic!

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    I don’t know if it’s the wardrobe or the facial expression, but that babby looks very wise.

    • OppressedMass

      Right? Like a really small she-Gandalf…

  • donald danner

    ““If you were going to eat a sandwich, you’d just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.”

  • Beanz&Berryz

    It’s a fabulously old-school drizzly morning in Portland… not so much wet that you hardly notice in the first few moments outside, but enough to wet you good after 15-20 minutes. A great day for a picinic.

    • Sister Artemis

      Now, don’t go skeering people away, Beanz!!! Forecast is overcast but dry, and heading into the low 70s this afternoon!

      • JD Mulvey

        Weather Underground says no rain today… ZERO percent. Who you gonna believe, your lying eyes, or the interwebs??

        • Beanz&Berryz

          That was the forecast I had in mind when I decided I needed to put on my rain jacket for the bike ride to work.

        • anna rampage

          That’s funny, my Weather Underground page said 20% of rain in the morning, with partial clearing by mid-day….

          • JD Mulvey

            It’s like a modern mood ring. What do you want the weather to be today?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Absolutely! Drizzles only drizzle in the morning… Makes for a fresh park for the picinic.

    • anna rampage

      It is, and as the old adage goes, “if you don’t like the weather in Portland, just wait an hour or two”

      I just checked the radar, and it looks like this should be tapering off very soon.

  • Sister Artemis

    Obligatory Drinkey Thing post: Be there, TODAY, in flesh or otherwise (that sounds gross, don’t be gross), just GET TO THIS THING IF YOU CAN!!!!!

  • anna rampage

    Yay, the drizzle is gone, and the clouds are parting. What a fortuitous sign for a lovely picnic in the park!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s getting gorgeous out there… even without the drizzle…

      • WomanInAMood

        It really is. Thank goodness!

  • ibwilliamsi

    Are there still roses in the garden?

    • Sister Artemis

      Yes! Come see them!

      • ibwilliamsi

        I wish I could, but I’m on the other side of the country. :(

  • Rob Hardy

    Please, everyone say hello to my e-pal and best friend, Eileen. —Rob, in Dayton

  • Marla

    Please keep Oregon Californian (and Texas)-free.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Any pics yet!? Where??

    • Sister Artemis

      Peninsula park, silly!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        LOL.. THAT I knew… I was wondering where the pics were… And work is NOT cooperating, so I’ll not get there… damit…

  • weejee

    Golden Gardens? Where at? Unless I have a serious confused not sure there are any taverns near there. Having a kegger on the beach?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Golden Gardens is another day, I think.

  • Sister Artemis

    We’really here! There’should beer! Some of us are queen! Ever one’s a dear!

  • Sister Artemis

    Guest of honor

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Zebraz!

    • the Vagenda Manologues

      I love the I’m totally on to you, and amused about it look in her eye.

    • Suttree

      I don’t even like babbies, but this one is ADORABLE!

    • SecludedCompound

      Good genes, guys! Jaysus!

  • SeekingBarbie

    Yay, photos! I expect some other Wonkers will come by to visit after they finish taking down a SFB troll on the Hillary thread.

    • Jen B_VA

      Meh I’d rather the pics. ZOMG THIS IS SO GREAT

    • Sister Artemis

      Fight the Good Fight, wonkers

  • PortTaiLand

    The cute. It burns!

    • DemmeVagenda

      DR and a puppy, (look at those paws!)?
      I’m going to lose consciousness!

      • berkeleyfarm

        Oh my God, yes. I am dyin’ here. Is that a Frenchie? With a zebra? That’s extinction levels of cute!

        • PortTaiLand

          The puppy is a 6 week old pit bull / border collie mix.

          • Suttree

            I don’t even like dogs, but that is some kind of adorable!

          • berkeleyfarm

            Awwwwwww!

          • DemmeVagenda

            Wow!
            That is gonna be one smart dog!!

    • AnOuthouse

      Even her shoes are cute.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      OMG how cute!!! And what a terrific antidote to the awfulness of the C-in-C “forum” AKA Cheeto Benito gets questions like “what color would you be if you were a color?” while Hillary gets slammed about emailbengazideathsquads
      Fuck.

      • Notreelyhelping

        You can’t see it here, but her outfit includes a tail. Really, really funny. “Hmm. Which animal shall I be today…?”

    • AAAAAAH!

      MUST THROW MONEY! WONKETTE! TAKE THE MONEY!

  • PortTaiLand

    Behold! I have been blessed by the gaze of the most holy DR, bringer of cute, destroyer of worlds. Let her light shine on upon me the rest of my days.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Blessedness of babbies is the blessedest

      • PortTaiLand

        She even seemed to enjoy my terrible juggling!

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I used to be almost not terrible at juggling… bean bagz, of course… 3 or 4…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Some leftisty T-shirts in that photo..

      • PortTaiLand

        Warner Bros may not have been pleased with my attire.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          that case was settled, I think

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Look how cute you are, too!

      • Agreed!

        • PortTaiLand

          Thanks! It was much more useful in my younger and singler days. ;-)

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Well, you certainly raise the overall tone of the place.
            Edited to add, not to throw shade at my fellow wonks – or the attendees at Portland – just the overall internets in general!!!

    • Dear lord there are some disarmingly handsome dude around here.

      I’m going to go sit under a bridge and eat pints of ice cream while I wait for billy goats to cross.

  • Aw! So pleased to see all these great pics. I love it when people I like get together. It’s like watching a super team get formed out of all your favorite heroes.

  • Suttree

    I am sending hugs out to y’all!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Even from just close-by downtown….

  • Hugs from Toronto to everyone!!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Are your initials LS? I think I noticed a tweet you re-posted showing that . . . and I’m wondering if you’re the one who designed the Comment of the Week banner?

      • My initials are indeed that, but i am not the COTW designer. I do not have that level of patience

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I think you and I have the same first name and last initial!

          • OMG! We are the “One Weird Trick” !

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Well, you’ll have to party for the both of us at Toronto Film Fest! I’m so jelly

          • I will do so! I almost scored tix to the closing Gala party…but they were attached and unable to separate from a screening that conflicts with one i’m booked for but REALLY want to see

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Could you sneak in late? Go to the screening you want to attend and then slip into the closing party?

          • Cross town…and would run me more than 100 bucks

          • Jen B_VA

            LS backward is the same initials as Stan Lee frontwards.
            Wake up, sheeple!

          • Excelsior!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Sister twinz!?

  • TJ Barke

    Here, this is me, not at the drinky thing:

    • Beanz&Berryz

      This is me… not at the DT… damit…

    • Jen B_VA
      • TJ Barke

        Seems legit.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        That’s some gnarly barleyz you got there…

        • Jen B_VA

          das gud to keep the hops up

          • Beanz&Berryz

            And as we beerzy onez know, it’s the femalez flowerz that are the bestest hops for beerz

          • Jen B_VA

            I actually did not know that, but it does not surprise me.
            Even beer is in on the vegenda.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Very true.. the original vagenda of manocide in a hops field… loppingz and all!

          • Jen B_VA

            So women invented beer by being the best hop flowers to control men even when they are having boy’s night out????

          • Beanz&Berryz

            There was beerz, of sorts, before hops, but it was an overly sweetish-brew. It got better with the delicate of bittnerness of female flowerz. My poetical anthropomorphication has abandoned me here at this awkward place, so I’m not so sure where this all leads… Oh ya… beerz is good. And femalez too, flowerz or not.

          • TJ Barke

            Also for the weeds.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            they’re cousins, I think, actually… the hops and the weeds…

          • zerosumgame0005

            same for pot :)

      • PortTaiLand

        Nice, uh, mugs!

    • Jen B_VA

      btw, TJ, is this a more recent shot of you?

      • TJ Barke

        From yesterday, yeah.

        • Jen B_VA

          You are doing wonderfully ^.^ Thank you for sharing!
          I sort of mildly got a little inspired to do something myself. Not that I am sharing any pics mind you, but you inspired me, so there is that.

          • TJ Barke

            It’s the black t-shirt probably.

          • Jen B_VA

            Or the cute guy in the black T shirt, more probably.

          • TJ Barke

            Pfft. Flattery will get you everywhere.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Here am I!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      You’re quite cute, ginger. :)

      • Jen B_VA

        Isn’t he though?

        • He really is. I told him that months ago…but. my hatred of the carrot cake hath chased him away…

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            What???? You’re letting CARROT CAKE thrust a sword thru true love’s heart? YOU MONSTERS!

          • He is also city averse and my lack of driving makes me town challenged. Also, 3000 miles of separation..

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Sigh. Well, we’ll allow it . . .but only on those grounds. Carrot cake is RIGHT OUT.

          • I’m allergic to the country, yet here I am living on a farm. And we were separated by 2,172 miles (but who’s counting?).

            These things do happen.

            However, hatred of carrot cake? I thought you were a nice girl.

          • Me? Nice? Oh for to laugh!

        • Cannedclamscanner

          Why yes, yes he definitely is.

      • TJ Barke

        I’m not ginger, I’m blonde.

    • Courser

      Lookin’ good, Teej!

  • Anna_in_pdx

    Coming! Very late, anyone still there?

    • anwisok

      I hope so! ‘trix estimated 4 – 7 local, so maybe?

    • WomanInAMood

      So glad you made it! It was such a pleasure to meet you!

      • Anna_in_pdx

        So good to meet you, and sister Artemis, and notreelyhelping, and beans and berries, and Donna rose, and Shy, and Rebecca, and Steve from Lebanon (what was his handle?) and Rebecca’s very cool friend Darnell, and everyone else whose faces I can visualize but whose names I cannot! Forgive me all you good people. I regret not meeting annarampage though.

        • WomanInAMood

          I think you would like anna rampage. Steve from Lebanon is KiriTheUnicorn. I thought it was very nice that you came by. And sorry if I seemed a bit idiotic. I had to be at work at the unholy hour of 4am, and between that and wine, I would be amazed to find that I sounded even slightly coherent.

  • Suse

    A song for Donna Rose and her lovely sweater. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zphAHMPtu4g

  • anwisok

    I am so disappoint. I was looking forward to seeing pics n posts as they occurred, but nobody mentioned in the Dance Party thread – which is, traditionally, the last active thread – that you were doing that HERE, so I missed out. No, no! My own fault for not continuously exploring every thread on Wonkette! It would be totally unreasonable for anyone to expect a simple post over there to let people know where the much hyped drinky thing would be posting their live posts.

    I am being overly snide, deliberately. I hope y’all had a great time! Donna Rose looks fantastic in her zebra outfit, and I’m sorry I missed out on the live posts!

    • Jen B_VA

      I think they will update us tomorrow on a new thread XD Woman and SA haven’t really been here, just a few cute snaps.
      So there better be more. LOTS MORE

      • anwisok

        They were busy hosting. That means they were lucky to find time to breathe. NOT THEIR FAULT!

  • PortTaiLand

    Spoon!

    • Spork? Are we yelling out random utensils?

      • TJ Barke

        There’s a pic, reload!

        • Cannedclamscanner

          Damn if I reload I have to do all kinds of intricate computer things — like empty cache, turn it off and on, an d then wait for little spinny thingy to ask me 8 1/2 times if it should reload — before I see all these words that are not comments again. Yes, 1st WP.

          • PortTaiLand

            Try hitting the sort comments by newest button.

          • Gene Harrogate, melon humper

            That’s how I feel about seeing the butt doctor.

      • Cannedclamscanner

        I’m in: pickle poker thingy

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Pasta strainer!

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Ronco anything…they all slice, dice ow whatever better than anything on the market.!

          • Suse

            Ginsu libulz!1!!

          • Cannedclamscanner

            They came late to the game.

          • Suse

            True. Ronco even made spray-on hair.

          • Cannedclamscanner

            OMG! I totally forgot about that. Maybe that orange thing on trumph’s head is an escaped prototype gone astray.

        • Suse

          I’m quite fond of my nutmeg grater.

          • I love mine more than many members of my family

          • Suse

            How about your truffle shaver?

          • Don’t have one of those. Mostly because i cannot afford the thing it would be shaving. Only thing i love more is my stand mixer

          • Suse

            I was joking. I don’t have one either. I have a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer that I haven’t used in years since I don’t bake much any more.

          • I haven’t in a while….but i was on afternoons for like 18 months straight. I hope to ramp back up later in the fall

          • Jen B_VA

            I have a spatula, I think

          • Suse

            That’s a good start. Quite a versatile tool.

          • I have 4

          • Suse

            I just bought a fish spatula.

          • Jen B_VA

            Poor fish, what did it do to you?

          • Suse

            Started telling me fish puns.

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Are you fishing around for some from us?

          • Suse

            Good Cod, no!

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Well I probably should clam up then.

          • Cannedclamscanner

            This calls for some canned laughter.

          • Jen B_VA

            YOU MONS….no wait

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Thanks for my best laugh of the day.

          • vivian

            We all need salmon to love. I’ll show myself trout.

          • Jen B_VA

            Just had to, for the halibut, didn’t you

          • Did you get them at Spatula City?

            https://youtu.be/2XbCWmY0eqY

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            My gawd, I love my stand mixer so much I break out in hives if I don’t use it for a week. My bestie is planning an intervention . . . which I’m sure will take place as soon as she stops enjoying the stuff I make with it!

          • Suse

            I think I’ll get it out and fire it up. It weighs about 300 lbs.

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Most every time I see one I remind myself to breathe and think, being, not having, being, not having. Sometimes I have to say that a lot before I start making snide comments to myself.

          • Suttree

            My cousin works at a store where I can get a discount on a Kitchenaide mixer but I still have yet to splurge. I keep looking on ebay for the olde style Hobart mixers.

          • pstockholm

            Consider the Anckarsrum. Also pricey, but worth it.

          • Suttree

            They look to be a super product but I don’t like the style. I want that mixer that I grew up with!

          • Vagenda Woods

            Life without my kitchenaid would not be worth living. Do it.

          • Courser

            I honestly don’t have room for one. We had one when I was a kid and it was a monster to set up. I’ll make do with my very heavy-duty Oster hand mixer. It’s pretty much like the stand mixer but just the mixer part.

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Is that what they’re calling it now?

          • Suse

            I knew someone would say something like this. I am not disappointed.

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Here to please.

          • Jen B_VA

            That’s what she said!
            *runs and hides*

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Ahhhh, hide and seek…

          • That sounds soooo dirty right now. Do go on…

          • Cannedclamscanner

            First, everyone picks a kitchen item to take into hiding with them….

          • Jen B_VA

            I call cucumber!

            ….what?

          • vivian

            Here too, please.

      • PortTaiLand

        Well, fork me!

        • Ok…i am a little far away right now though

        • Cannedclamscanner

          That’s awful knife of you to offer.

      • Gene Harrogate, melon humper

        May spork be with us!

    • PortTaiLand

      Sometimes I forget how old I am. This is a reference to a cartoon called “the Tick”. Spoon was his battle cry.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcm-J7lQT3w

      • Jen B_VA

        I got it! Moth was my favorite sidekick EVER

        • PortTaiLand

          Not the face!

      • I Am Helpy

        There is a live-action Tick show of some kind coming out soon, btw. A TV movie or possibly a series, I’m not really sure.

        • It is one of Amazon’s proposed series for this season. Each year they produce a number of pilots and let viewers choose which one makes it to series. This year, The Tick is one of them, along with a couple of other things that you probably shouldn’t get too attached too. The Tick is the puppy of the lot, while the other two are the equivalent of a goldfish and a turtle.

      • Courser

        I have the original live action The Tick on DVD. It’s so flippin’ funny – perfect for viewing when high. And there’s going to be a NEW ONE??? Be still my beating heart.

  • PortTaiLand

    Our toast to Johnny On Maui at 4:20pm

    • Beanz&Berryz

      CHEERZ from across town!

      • WomanInAMood

        Im so happy you were able to make it for a bit!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Hear hear!

    • Jen B_VA

      This is truly lovely <3

      • Suse

        Is something going on with Jonny, aside from his recent bereavement?