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Monday night’s Rachel Maddow Show had a pretty thorough story about the weirdo-beardo doctor who wrote that bizarre letter testifying to Donald Trump’s incomparably phenomenal health back in December; Maddow focused on the strange timing Dr. Harold Bornstein offered for the letter: “I guess he called and said the Clinton organization was going publish a letter on her health.” Now that’s pretty odd, Maddow noted, since Hillary Clinton’s campaign had actually released her health summary a good five months before Bornstein told the nation Donald Trump can see through walls and stop crooked Hillary’s lies with his Lasso of Truth. The full interview with Bornstein also includes other weird moments, like his clarification that by saying Trump “will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency,” he meant the obvious fact that most former presidents are either sick or dead. Besides, what he really meant was that Trump’s health is excellent for a man of 70. (Bornstein also got a little mixed up about various presidential ailments in history, saying that Eisenhower had “polio.” Not so much.)

But in one way, says Karoli Kuns at Crooks and Liars, Maddow buried the lede, since Bornstien said something far more troubling than the bit about the genesis of the letter. For one thing, the timing isn’t quite so mysterious — Kuns notes, “Trump’s rush to get the letter out was in response to a POLITICO article questioning his health and qualifications to be President.” The big hairy screaming News Flash in the interview wasn’t the timing, it was Bornstein’s casual mention, after the Trump people requested the letter, that he knows some real health secrets about that Hillary Clinton, hoo boy: “I know her physician and I know some of her health history which is really not so good, so I said, why not?” (It’s at about the 5-minute mark in the above video.)

This is pretty bad, actually, and while Maddow did go into it, and discussed it with a guest later in the show, it says a hell a lot about the medical ethics of Trump’s brilliant gastroenterologist (who he sees for general medicine for some reason). Either Hillary Clinton’s doctor told Bornstein some very private information about Clinton’s health, which Bornstein then disclosed on national TV, or Bornstein’s a damned liar. Either way, not terrific:

If it’s the former, he violated HIPAA, the very harsh law guarding people’s medical privacy. If it’s the latter, then we can also assume the letter he wrote about Donald Trump is as much of a lie as is his claim that he knows anything about Hillary Clinton’s health.

If Bornstein did violate HIPAA, he could be in for some heavy duty sanctions, because for godssake doctors don’t go disclosing people’s private medical information, especially when they’re not that patient’s physician. In a different portion of the NBC interview with Bornstein, he actually invokes HIPAA to rule out saying when he’d most recently examined Donald Trump.

Frankly, we doubt Bornstein actually knows beans about Hillary Clinton’s health or would have had any reason to discuss it with her physician, so we’ll just go with Lying Liar as the more likely scenario.

Also, as several people have noted, another important question is why Donald Trump would entrust his health to the Brent Spiner character from Independence Day:

Spiner Independence Day

If Mr. Spiner’s Twitter feed is to be trusted, it looks like he’s already on that:

Spiner tweet

Even if her emphasis was a bit misplaced on the timing of Bornstein’s letter, that full Rachel Maddow segment is worth a watch — to paraphrase what Mr. Buffett said of that Holiday Inn full of surgeons, “I don’t think I would ever let him cut on me.”

In other expert medical commentary on Hillary Clinton’s health by people who are not her doctor, “Dr. Drew” Pinsky has had his HLN cable show cancelled just days after saying he was “gravely concerned not just about her health, but her health care,” because he thought her doctor may have been relying on stone knives and bearskins in his medical practice:

[W]hen they screened her for heart disease, again, they did an old-fashioned screen. It just seems like she’s getting care from somebody that she met in Arkansas when she was a kid, and you’ve got to wonder. You’ve got to wonder. It’s not so much that her health is a grave concern. It’s that the care she’s getting could make it a concern.

For what it’s worth, Hillary Clinton grew up in Illinois and moved to Arkansas, where they also have real doctors, in 1974. Her current physician, Lisa Bardack, is an internist from Mount Kisco, New York, where modern medicine is also not unknown.

We’re now looking forward to the next Hillary Health Conspiracy variation, in which we learn that Gene Wilder was actually killed by the Clintons because he learned too much about the reanimation of dead body parts while filming Young Frankenstein.

[Crooks and Liars / MSNBC / WaPo]

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  • the Vagenda Manologues

    The House ‘Freedom’ caucus: not interested in bills, so they have time to coup*

    It seems that some House conservatives are upset at the GOP establishment for trying to oust particularly troublesome Tea Party candidates by backing more moderate candidates — and they’re planning totake it out on Ryan.

    “How can you have a gang, and have one in your gang get stabbed, and do nothing?” one member told the Huffington Post. “You got to stab somebody, or else what’s the point of having a gang?”

    The mere fact that these Republicans are leaking their coup plans to the press shows that Ryan’s hold on his position is already more tenuous than many believed — and he’s still only been House Speaker for less than a year.

    *sorry about that.

    • Brendan_M

      Maybe Paul LePage is a misunderstood progressive hero, and the gang members he wants to shoot are these guys?

    • arglebargle

      Sounds like a thug life. Where are their father’s?

    • Jonny On Maui

      It’s so cute when they eat their young…

    • Spotts1701

      Well, Paul, you went to bed with the devil. What did you expect was going to happen?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      I can’t tell from the transcript. Are they meeting in the rotunda or in the prison yard?

      • TJ Barke

        Psych ward.

        • Spotts1701

          So Gowdy’s office then?

    • There’s something deeply uncomfortable about the phrasing of “and he’s still only been House Speaker for less than a year.”

      • the Vagenda Manologues

        Seriously. I remember distinctly that it took maybe a week before I read that the Obama administration had failed.

    • Grizz1y

      When you’re a Jet you’re a Jet all the way. From your first cigarette to your last dying day.

      • dshwa

        Great minds, etc. etc.

    • dshwa

      So which side is the Sharks and which side is the Jets?

      • the Vagenda Manologues

        Well, they’re expensive, they don’t do what they’re supposed to, and they’re generally built in red states, so I’m going to say they’re all the Jets.

        • dshwa

          Good answer.

    • AngryKatie

      Maybe Ryan will decide to stop being a Trump apologist if he’s going to be dethroned anyway.

    • Berkeleybear94

      Trump is a direct result of the same thinking that brought you the Freedom Caucus (ie the GOP picking ensuring a future for right wing ideology over governance through gerrymandering and closing primaries, only miscalculating what messages actually mattered to the American right wing and getting controlled by a walking nightmare). The difference is the FC will keep getting re-elected, and will have as much power as the GOP leadership gives them (which under Boehner and Ryan has been way too much, but still less than they want). The only ways these guys get sidelined are a) they succeed in driving us into the ditch so hard there’s a temporary backlash b) an extraordinary external event sidelines them (but if it is a war or war-like crisis it may just emboldent them) or c) in its desire to appease these fools and their constituents the GOP continues to champion hardline stances on immigration and slashing welfare programs/alienates rapidly growing sectors of the population and demographics finally kick in around 2020-2030. Even in the last case, the Dems will likely screw it up and split internally like they did after 1936, 1965 and 1976 (and basically ever since if you look at what Obama had to do to pull off the ACA on a straight party-line vote).

      • the Vagenda Manologues

        I feel like getting rid of some rotten districts in 2020 is going to help a lot.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Ohio passed a constitutional amendment mandating an appointed bipartisan commission to redraw the district lines after the 2020 census. The first election that will be affected by that will be the 2022 midterms.

          Of course, if the Dems still aren’t bothering to vote in midterms, we probably won’t see many differences in the outcomes.

      • JCfromNC

        I’m not too sanguine on the possibility of a backlash, no matter how deep a ditch they might drive us into. The voters that keep electing them just don’t seem like they have much in the way of critical thinking skills, and instead trust Their Guy when he (or she) tells them it’s All Those Other Assholes that are the problem, and keep telling your friends and family in the rest of the state/country to vote more people like me into office.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I’ll give them credit for admitting their behavior is the same as expected from a street gang. I didn’t think they had that much self-awareness.

    • OddMan

      Like Omar* on The Wire said, “You come at the king, you best not miss.”

      And to announce it ahead of time is a little brazen I think. I’m not sure that was the right thing for them to do, or shows Ryan’s weakness.
      Shall be interesting to watch.
      *And others.

  • Nounverb911

    Wait! Did someone say that Boornstein (pronounced born-STINE) treats Hippos?

    • arglebargle

      I thought it was bears.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Only if they’re hungry hungry.

      • Nounverb911

        What about greedy greedy?

    • Royal Ugly Dude, Esq.

      Well, he did take an oath.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Fuck this, I’m chasing money?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I wanted one of those for Christmas.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Doctors? Pffft! In Arkansas a little moonshine cures what ail’s ya!

    • Spotts1701

      And iff’n it don’t do that, y’all ferget what ail’s ya!

  • Nounverb911

    By not mentioning Reagan in his list of sicko president’s is Boornstein intimating that Trump has Alzheimer’s?

  • Spotts1701

    Every time I see Doctor Bornstein, this runs through my head:
    “I was last in my class
    Barely passed at the institute
    Now I’m trying to avoid, yah I’m trying to avoid
    A malpractice suit”

    • Nounverb911

      Malpractice is Boornstein’s standard level of care…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I think of what George Carlin, PBUH, said about doctors – one of them HAD to have graduated last in his class, and somebody had an appointment with him tomorrow.

      • SterWonk

        As my brother (M.D.) says:

        * What do you call someone who graduates last in his class at med school? Doctor
        * When it comes to grades, D = M.D. ; F = D.D.S. (With all apologies to dentists)

    • What do you call the guy who graduates last in his class at med school? Doctor!

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    “stone knives and bearskins”

    Somebody is a Star Trek fan…

    https://youtu.be/yfJXd0rSCqo

    • errrr – experimentally obsidian has recently been used as a scalpel blade.

    • doktorzoom

      A highly logical conclusion.

  • DainBramage

    I met a guy that looked a lot like this Dr. Bornstein. He was a voice coach and somehow convinced my ex-brother-in-law that he was going to be a famous singer. The ex-BIL had a decent voice, but nothing I would consider noteworthy. This guy seemed more like a cult leader than anything else, as the ex-BIL’s life was dedicated for several years to pursuing this dream, to the detriment of his wife, my sister, and their kids.

    • Jenny

      Wait is he the weirdo voice coach on youtube who wants all his talented pupils to move to his Hawaiian compound?

      • sw19womble

        But enough about Jonny On Maui…

    • Grizz1y
      • DainBramage

        Nope. He’d be much older now, but 30 years ago he had the long white hair.

    • clubseal

      Please, please tell me that “noteworthy” was an intended pun.

      • DainBramage

        Yes, yes it was. Are you calling me a lyre?

        • Vienna Woods

          Please, no violins here!

          • Doug Langley

            Let’s not starting harping on this.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            How would you rate it on a scale?

          • Doug Langley

            Now you’re just stringing us along.

        • clubseal

          I just like to verify when I C sharp minds.

  • beavertank

    But has anyone read Hillary Clinton’s humors? Have they candled her ears? Is she even taking ANY prophylactic homeopathic drugs?

    What kinds of quacks are treating her anyway?

    • Joe Beese

      This is her debate prep.

      • clubseal

        “I need that like I need a hole in my h—. Oh.”

  • Ms.MLG1979

    I went to the Doctor, guess what he told me, guess what he told me..

    He said, girl don’t ever vote Trump no matter what you do..

    ‘Cause he’s FUCKING CRAZY!

  • William Romanowski

    Ivanka: “He is my BOYFRIEND!!”

    • Joe Beese

      Melania: Who is Ivanka to you, really??
      Donald: She’s my daughter. (Melania slaps him.) She’s my girlfriend. (Melania slaps him.) She’s my daughter. (Melania slaps him.) She’s my daughter and my girlfriend!

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        “Forget it Joe, it’s Trumpenberg”

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      So that was your cigar smoldering in the ashtray!

  • Callyson
    • Nounverb911

      While we are at it, Rick Perry to demonstrate his ability to do things backwards and in high heels….

      https://twitter.com/VanityFair/status/770647278126305280

      • GoutMachine

        Shit. Perry and Lochte together? That’s like a singularity of douche.

    • edith prickly

      He was Huma’s beard for the lesbianisms.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Now that’s a weirdo/beardo.

  • Vincent Ricola

    According to my diagnosis based on that clip and various other clips I’ve seen on CNN, Mr. Trump’s doctor suffers from extreme drunkedness. Also too, if you cut off his hair, he will cease to exist.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      This is what come from spilling vodka on the floor of a barbershop.

  • edith prickly

    It’s FRAHNK-en-shteen!!!

  • Callyson

    If Bornstein did violate HIPAA, he could be in for some heavy duty sanctions

    How harsh would those be, Crooks and Liars link?

    Covered entities and specified individuals, as explained below, whom “knowingly” obtain or disclose individually identifiable health information in violation of the Administrative Simplification Regulations face a fine of up to $50,000, as well as imprisonment up to one year. Offenses committed under false pretenses allow penalties to be increased to a $100,000 fine, with up to five years in prison. Finally, offenses committed with the intent to sell, transfer, or use individually identifiable health information for commercial advantage, personal gain or malicious harm permit fines of $250,000, and imprisonment for up to ten years.

    Come on, DOJ, do your job and enforce this law!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh, please – rich people and rich people’s doctors don’t have to follow your piddling laws.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Also, they might take away his medical degree from Trump University.

    • Msgr_Vagenda

      Whom proofreads their copy?

  • Toadette

    People are saying Gene Wilder died of AIDS-ebola and has passed it on to Hillary via a chain of people that includes Macho Man Randy Savage and Kevin Bacon (because he’s never far from anyone).

    People are saying, and I’m concerned. Someone should look into it.

  • Callyson

    That’s OK, though, because the wingnuts are waiting for this doctor’s judgment:

    • GoutMachine

      Hi, everybody!

  • Indiepalin

    Gerald Ford had dropsy.

    • Wild Cat

      O pshawwww. Next thing you know you’ll be telling us the klutz pardoned a criminal as a quid pro quo for making him president of a silly empire.

    • Thaumaturgist

      But Gerald Ford could chew gum. Walk, also too.

      • Yes but farting and chewing gum was beyond him (according to LBJ)

      • Doug Langley

        Barely.

  • hendenburg2

    Dok, there are two other HIPAA violations going on with the Mad Scientist-cosplayer up there:

    1) His computer screen shows Windows XP, which would be a violation because HIPAA requires constant security updates on computers (which XP hasn’t had for years) that store medical records
    2) Putting his email on a publicly-available form is also another violation of HIPAA

    • data_ninja

      I noticed the XP thing too when I saw the photo the first time. I would hope that the photo is dated, because the end of support for it was back in April 2014.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “We’re now looking forward to the next Hillary Health Conspiracy variation, in which we learn that Gene Wilder was actually killed by the Clintons because he learned too much about the reanimation of dead body parts while filming Young Frankenstein.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkjD3D5FgmE

  • ClarkJoe

    BEARD LIBEL

    • TJ Barke

      When will the oppression of beardos end?!

      • ClarkJoe

        The weirdo-beardo community needs to police our own. Dr. Bornstein is making us all look bad. #NotAllWeirdoBeardos

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “I barely avoided that oppression. It was a close shave.”
        — A former beardo

    • Vagendajohn

      Weirdo libel.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “You don’t need a beard to be weird, but it helps.”
      — Jerry Rubin

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Apart from the obvious question of why Fanta Hitler goes to a gastroenterologist instead of a GP, another question comes to my mind after seeing the doctor and his wife in that interview: do you think he became a doctor because of the access to serious drugs, or because he likes the expensive brands of bourbon?

    • Axomamma

      Bornstein hasn’t been a gastroenterologist since 1995 and does not work for that department at Lenox Hospital. There should be a countdown clock for how long it will be until Lenox gives him the boot.

      • And, apparently, has not paid his dues to the American College of Gastroenterologists for 20 years.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Rand Paul could help with that.

  • Joe Beese

    Bardack claims to have been educated at some “New York University School of Medicine”.

    Do they print their diplomas on the back of Missing Cat flyers taken off telephone poles?

    • therblig

      yeah, but they wait until the cats are found. so, that’s something.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    The bigger surprise here would have been if the doctor had been normal.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Or marginally sane.

    • Aquaria

      Or marginally ethical.

  • Lizzietish81
  • ManchuCandidate

    http://media.oregonlive.com/ent_impact_tvfilm/photo/lebowskicardiganjpg-33227a17dac2ba13.jpg

    The Dude?

    Walter Sobchak: That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
    The Dude: Fuckin’ A.
    Donny: And this guy peed on it.
    Walter Sobchak: Donny, please.

  • Sardonicuss

    Wow, who knew HLN was so much more ethical than their big sister. Bouncing Dr. Drew for his ongoing idiocy, as CNN continues to employ Ledowsky while he actually still works for the Drumph campaign!

    • Vincent Ricola

      CNN still has Dr. Drew on every other day to talk about Hillary’s terrible and debilitating health issues (maybe allegedly). HLN is the classy one.

      • Sardonicuss

        My cord cutting move of last year continues to satisfy on a daily basis.
        ……but I do occasionally miss Morning Wood with Robin Meade.

        • Vincent Ricola

          I need to cut the cord. I’m way too invested in hating CNN all day every day.

        • Chuck

          I miss Morning Wood since I turned 60.

    • puipui

      Who would’ve thought that the network that televises Nancy Grace could have morals?

  • Vagendajohn

    Dr. Bernstein later issued this statement clarifying his earlier remarks.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kYuHOFQgJQY

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Is “wavy/shavy” the antithesis of “weirdo/beardo”?

    • Mirful

      No, but Wavy Gravy is.

      • the Vagenda Manologues

        Wavy Gravy libelz! The man has saved the sight of more people in the developing world than Dr. Paul ever did.

        • Vienna Woods

          Keep away from the brown acid!

          • the Vagenda Manologues

            Your name is Vienna Woods, and you are sitting right here.

        • hanadora444

          Not to mention breakfast in bed for 400,000!

      • Doug Langley

        What about Timey Wimey?

  • ClarkJoe
  • msanthropesmr

    My cousin, my gastroenterologist is a great book by Mark Leyner.

  • Axomamma

    Bernstein invoked HIPAA in response to the question about when he last examined Trump because he can’t remember. Given the video of Trump trying to vote with his goons who fucked up by failing to get him registered, who believes the extent of Trump’s “medical exam” involves more than a private nurse coming to his office to get blood for lab tests and to take his blood pressure?

  • Toadette

    Seriously, I’m beginning to wonder if this is all just some great performance art or something.

    The casting is clearly fucking amazing if it is. Between this dude, Katrina Pierson, and Roger Stone….

    • Celtic_Gnome

      The only thing Trump knows how to do with any degree of success is star in reality shows. It feels like everything the campaign does is designed to get people talking about last night’s episode of Trump! around the water cooler the next day.

  • schmannity

    When you are full of shit, your primary treating physician is a gastroenterologist.

    • GoutMachine

      I think “Donald Trump’s Proctologist” is a position in hell for very evil doctors.

      • Reximus

        his Spelunker, you mean

    • MichaelS

      I asked my doctor about Trump having a gastroenterologist as physician. She said that it was because Trump’s head was always up his ass.

  • cousin itt

    This doctor person, I remember him doing the weather when he was younger and was known as Al Sleet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2HpB5CGfLQ

  • GoutMachine

    I love that he thinks a 70-year-old shitgibbon will be the healthiest person ever elected president.

    • Andy Christiansen

      I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it until I’m dead — President Obama could get it any damned way he wanted it. <3

  • Andy Christiansen

    If Trump’s “doctor” is “Brent Spiner”, has anyone thought to check w/ Gail Chord Schuler via brain-to-brain communication? I’m sure she would have deets on HRC’s actual medical history — assuming she’s not been replaced by an auto-may-tahn.

    • AngryKatie

      I’m relieved I’m not the only one that now thinks Gail when Spiner comes up.

      • Andy Christiansen

        I can’t stop thinking about her tbh…

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      He should have gone to the hologram doctor from that other series.

      • AndyC316

        Gail Chord Schuler considered, CONSIDERED, adding Robert Picardo to her list of men, but she decided against it at the last second because Putin didn’t want another baldie competing for her affection. :(

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    I can’t believe Trump’s “doctor” didn’t mention the TERRIBLE bone spurs that kept Trump out of Vietnam. Or his apparent decades-long cocaine habit. Or Wants-To-Bang-His-Daughter Syndrome.

    • beavertank

      Luckily he has almost miraculously gotten over all of those things. Except the daughter banging one. But he’s treating the symptoms with prostitutes that strongly resemble his daughter, so it’s ok.

  • ClarkJoe

    Speaking of Brent Spiner in Independence Day… That sequel was mostly forgettable, except for the part where Dr. Spiner wakes up from his alien-induced coma and finds his gay lover sitting by his bedside knitting him a sweater. So sweet!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    That Gene Wilder thing makes perfect sense, if you’re afflicted with CDS, which most Drumpfenproles are.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      It makes too much sense!

      Come with me
      And you’ll be
      In a world of pure imagination
      Take a look
      And you’ll see
      Into your imagination

      We’ll begin
      With a spin
      Traveling in
      The world of my creation
      What we’ll see
      Will defy
      Explanation

  • Look Closer

    Hmmm…

    • mrpuma2u

      Who ya gonna believe? Me or your own eyes? -Chico Marx.

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      I need more pics of shirtless Bamz for study.

    • AB316

      Barry needs some smaller shirts, imo.

      • Doug Langley

        Can’t. Every time he hulks out, he wrecks them.

      • lovelydestruction

        and Trump needs to move one size up

    • Roadstergal

      My ladyboner went up with the first pic, right back down again with the second.

  • Thaumaturgist

    So the Doc isn’t as “clean cut” as the rest of The Donald’s entourage, or even as clean cut as Wonkette’s own Doc. So what? What makes the establishment media so suspicious?

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    She put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up
    And said, Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take
    I say, doctor, to relieve this bellyache?
    I say, doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take
    I say, doctor, to relieve this bellyache?

    Now let me get this straight
    You put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up
    You put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up
    Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up

    https://youtu.be/5LxC3M-Yngs

  • Meh. I’m still voting for Zombie Hillary Clinton. I can look past the brain eating issue if she continues pushing for health care reform and less inequality.

    • GoutMachine

      A brain in every pot!

    • Sardonicuss

      Given the alternative, brain eating should pose no problems….

    • chicken thief

      I don’t know. I mean, I still haven’t decided. It’s not so much that she BENGHAZI’D four patriot Americans, email servered all the US sekrits directly to the Kremlin, and suffocated poor Tony Scalia while scissoring Huma, but those pant suits. Should we have a Preznit that wears pants suits?!

      • Sister Artemis

        I for one welcome our Pantsuits Overlords!

        • chicken thief

          I heard she wears them to hide her cankles, though. Imagine if true!!!

          • Doug Langley

            Must be true! I read it on the internet!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I heard she wears them to hide the full body armor she’s forced to wear because of batshit crazy Trump supporters.

      • Aquaria

        Haven’t they all worn pant suits since John Quincy Adams?

  • Msgr_Vagenda

    he meant the obvious fact that most former presidents are either sick or dead.

    Jimmy Carter could beat Trump to a pulp and hide him behind some paneling where no one would ever find him.

    • Doug Langley

      And win a second Nobel for doing it.

  • GoutMachine

    Why doesn’t Donald just get all his healthcare needs from his dentist, anyway? I mean, women have been doing this for years with great success, particularly in Florida.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    My theory is he’s the only doctor who would do this without actually examining him. Or the only one to do it for free.

    • dshwa

      Trump does all his talking out of his ass, so a GI doc is the only person who can communicate with him?

      • Cindyinencinitas

        He has the special microphone.

  • What I want to know is why Dr Bornstein appears to have married Frau Blucher.

    • hendenburg2

      *Neeeiiigggghhhh*

    • Objectifer

      Dammit, my horses just ran off.

    • dshwa

      Because Frau Farbissina prefers bald insane megalomaniacs bent on world domination through incoherent plots?

    • Aquaria

      Come on–it’s obvious why:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0vDYEJ0Y7Y

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Donald Trump is the healthiest man ever nominated by a major party in the 2016 US Presidential election.”
    — In his never-ending quest for truth, Dr. Bornstein clarifies still further

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      “Of all the male individuals on this planet most specifically those currently alive with the name of Donald Trump who are also running for president, he will surely be the most healthiest ever in the history of Presidents named Donald Trump. I can state this unequivocally, if you were to ask me.”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Good try but too many big words.

        I suggest:

        Donald Trump. The greatest. He’s positive. Positive for everything. The clap? Positive, totally positive. For the clap. I’m telling you. TB? Positive. He is all positive, this guy. Lincoln? Rutherford B. Hayes? Low energy. I’ve heard dead, even. Trump? Healthiest. Ever. Believe me.

  • baconzgood

    “HI Everybody!”

    “HI, Dr. Bornstein”

  • the Vagenda Manologues

    Oh dear.

    Penning Donald Trump’s enthusiastic clean bill of health in five minutes may have been one of Dr. Harold Bornstein’s least consequential mistakes. In 2002, he paid $86,250 to the husband of a former patient to settle a lawsuit alleging that Bornstein overmedicatedhis wife with powerful, unneeded prescriptions, which contributed to her addiction—and ultimately her death.

    The 2002 lawsuit is one of three malpractice claims brought against Trump’s long-time gastroenterologist since 1992, two of which allege the doctor improperly administered powerful drugs which led to the death of patients. Both of those cases were settled before jury trials, with no finding of liability against Dr. Bornstein…

    In one of the complaints, reviewed by The Daily Beast, Kenneth Levin alleged Bornstein, “was negligent, careless, and unskilled in failing to properly diagnose the plaintiff” and in treating his wife, Janet Levin.

    The complaint also alleges Bornstein was negligent “in failing to make a referral to a mental health professional; in wrongfully prescribing tuinal, morphine, and valium, particularly in light of the history of drinking; in improperly and negligently seeing the patient without providing treatment; and in overmedicating the decedent.”

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Yup.

      He sells prescriptions and physican letters.

      No doubt Trump has been paying him for decades for his speed.

      • sw19womble

        He probably has at least one patient/customer a week declaring that he/she’s running for President and needs a letter…

      • Astraea

        The wife seems to be the brains of the operation.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Look at her standing over him like a pit bull.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            He looks like the type who would be mystified if you moved his food dish.

    • A real mother’s little helper.

      • the Vagenda Manologues

        Just, I’m getting a real prescription pad for hire vibe from this guy.

    • Bitter Scribe

      He prescribed morphine to a patient with mental problems that included excessive drinking?

      Holy shit. This guy is a menace.

      • the Vagenda Manologues

        I feel like there’s more about his dropping his certification than we’re hearing about.

    • AncienReggie

      Tuinal? Yowza!

    • ViveLaRes

      Anyone here not see that coming? I thought not.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I think I’m going to stick with my current PCP, thank you very much.

    • Aquaria

      Yep. A Candy Man. I knew it.

  • BMW

    This election would be a lot more fun if a time traveller from Nov. 9th could kindly assure us Trump doesn’t win. Its hard to see the entertainment value of something that still has a chance of wiping out life on Earth.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    Trump’s physician is a guy who sells prescriptions as his main practice.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Any bets on how long it’s gonna take before the revelation that Trump wrote the letter and Dr. Quackstein just signed it? I’m thinking this could drag on for the rest of the week and totally stomp on The Donald’s really really tremendous immigration speech tomorrow.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      The revelation will be Trump’s physician is the guy whom Trump pays for prescriptions.

    • Bitter Scribe

      If the immigration speech turns out to be as coherent and well thought-out as any of Trump’s other policy statements, anything that would distract anyone from it can only be good for him.

  • Swampay

    Wa-a-a-it a minute. The crazy lady who thought Clinton was a Jesuit clone the other day – wasn’t she obsessed with Brent Spiner? I’d never heard that name before I listened to her nuttery. Now today, less than a week later – here he is again.

    Coincidence? I don’t think so. What can it possibly mean? Is Brent Spiner a Jesuit Illuminati?

  • Señor Skwerl
  • Lefty Frizzell

    For me it all still comes down to the phrase:

    “If elected, Mr Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.”

    I am 100% certain that was not written by a rational adult to be believed by rational adults. We just need to identify which one is the unstable child.

    • dshwa

      AOT, K.

      Far too easy an answer.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      So…If he’s not elected… he’ll die?

      Could Drs. Kevorkian and Giggles give a second opinion plz?

  • dshwa

    I’m waiting for Dr Krieger’s evaluation before making a judgement.

  • SnarkOff

    Next up: What does Hillary Clinton’s accountant have to say about Donald Trump’s tax returns?

  • artem1s

    thx Dok for your random application of one of my favorite West Wing moments,
    “Donald Trump’s doctor, boy, I don’t know.”
    https://youtu.be/wvr1T1sFvEg?t=156
    I suppose it’s too much to hope Hillary uses it during the first debate.

    • TakingAmes

      I’m hoping her entire debate prep is watching those episodes of the West Wing. That way we can be assured of her stomping all over him by making it about “smart, and not.”

  • TeeRaak

    Doctor to the Stars!

    Trump, Prince, Michael Jackson, Elvis…
    https://media0.giphy.com/media/H1dKBT7CYPUD6/200w_s.gif

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    to paraphrase what Mr. Buffett said of that Holiday Inn full of surgeons, “I don’t think I would ever let him cut on me.”

    Parrothead sahhhLOOT!

  • AngryKatie

    Setting aside the overtly crazy in the letter, even the dry stuff is a little crazy. His blood pressure is low for a man his age (110/65), he has a cholesterol problem (treated with a statin), and either has, or is at risk of having a stroke or heart attack (the daily aspirin). We know he has a lousy diet high in sodium, fat, and cholesterol. He sleeps less than 6 hours per day. He leads a very high stress life.

    One of those things doesn’t work with the others.

    • Mavenmaven

      Low blood pressure is actually a good thing, just saying, and the daily aspirin is a common preventative measure against heart attack (though becoming somewhat controversial recently).

      • AngryKatie

        It’s the combination that doesn’t make sense. He has amazing blood pressure for a man his age, but has a bunch of indications for heart attack risk. Any reasonable doctor’s summary of his health would have at least touched on that.

  • Tim

    So, it’s not necessarily HIPPA on his part. It’s probably worthy of an ethics censure or some state laws… but the alleged HIPPA violation would be on Hillz doctor *if* he shared Hillz info without a good reason. Doctor McYoogeFuckNutz has no professional relationship with Hillz.

    • dlemex

      If Dr Quack shares the medical info with anyone without permission, he is guilty too. Even if he just happened on the records at the hospital or something. He is a doctor and knows the rules.

    • dlemex is right – both probably. you can’t move across the hall with HIPPA.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    That video won’t load for me. Is he as weird as that letter he wrote suggests he is?

    • Suse

      Extremely weird guy who seemed high on weed.

      • Sister Artemis

        i also thought he seemed pretty baked. and also, too, a nice guy, from all appearances. I’d be willing to sit for a spell and share a joint with him.

        • Suse

          Haha!

        • Cindyinencinitas

          His ego is out of control. He would totally bogart that joint.

          • Sister Artemis

            Yeah, but he’d be telling some long funny story, and I’d steal that thing right out from between his fingers, he’d never noticed. Like I said, baked.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Dang! Remind me to use the Bong of Discipline when you’re over!

          • Sister Artemis

            :)

      • Aquaria

        That’s not weed. He’s prescribing himself the really good stuff. Or “borrowing them” from samples.

  • Relativicus

    I was more generous than normal when I read that line about her doc, and Bornstein’s knowledge of her illnesses, as two separate clauses jammed into one Palin. Maybe I was just thinking ahead to the obvious defense (“No, I misspoke. I know her doctor, and I’ve read the same stuff about her health you’ve read”), I dunno. But I giggled at the “sick or dead” bit.

  • Relativicus

    And wouldn’t it have been Clinton’s doctor who violated HIPAA?

    • dlemex

      Both unless the original physician had been given explicit permission to share with Dr. Quack.

      • and HIPAA would probably not approve of dr quack taking that permission and exposing it on national tv.

        just as a guess.

  • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

    I have a photo taken at a Wonket Drinky Thang in SF from 2014. One of our wonk-drinkcipants could easily pass for Dr. Bornstein! Though as I recall he had an English accent. Waaaay classier than Trump’s guy.

    I wonder if he still Wonkeezes around here…

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Speaking of Independence Day, is the sequel in the so-bad-it’s-good category, or is it just shit like the first one? I’ve avoided it so far, but a nice SBIG would hit the spot.

    • Mirful

      Sorry.

      It. Is. Just. Woefully. Bad.
      Sad.

    • The Wanderer

      Pajiba.com crapped on it.

    • Doug Langley

      Rotten Tomatos gives it 32%, so enh.

    • TakingAmes

      Dude. Independence Day is one of those movies that, if it’s on TV, I have to watch it. I definitely place that one in the SBIG category.

  • Randy Riddle

    Trump hires all the best people with the best drugs.

  • chicken thief

    Jesus Christ conspiracy nuts, give it a rest. Hillz mattress gymnastics with Huma will keep her young forever.

    • MrCanoehead

      Okay, I’m not really comfortable with all the Clintuma shipping, because even if we’re joking it’s still giving attention to a baseless rumour.

      Although I’ve googled photos of Huma, and I can’t say I’d blame Hillary for that.

  • chicken thief

    OT, Hillary’s new campaign theme song:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWA6SOzHeCQ

  • Apple Scruff

    My favorite part is his assistant repeating “Dr. Bornstein wrote that letter. Dr. Bornestein wrote that letter…” while shaking her head “no”. (around the 10:30 mark)

    That’s textbook lying when it comes to body language.

    • Suse

      That was no assistant, that was his wife!

      • Apple Scruff

        LOL! I saw the clip the other day and I must have missed that identification.

  • The Wanderer

    Doc Bornstein strikes me as the kind of guy that ducks follow around.

    • bookish

      Apparently Bornstein thinks the presidential contest is his own personal playground, much as his famous patient does.

  • Poly_Ester

    Donald would have recognized this guy as a LOSER if he had ever met him.

  • YayConspiracy

    Trump surrounds him by the best minds (drugs can buy).

  • Mavenmaven

    Ugh, next we’ll probably get a confirmation letter attesting to Trump’s health from Keith Ablow.

  • Jennifer R

    Does Clinton’s doctor have a case because this shit defamed them.

  • Swampgas_Man

    I still say he looks less like Spiner and more like Tommy Chong.

  • wallydog

    Cheers for the Buffett reference.

    • jmk

      And the subtle Star Trek one about stone knives and bearskins.

      • Roadstergal

        City On The Edge Of Forever… ah, despite Shatner’s ACTING, I still love TOS.

  • Bill Slider

    As Hillary wittingly noted regarding reports on her terminal health condition, In their dreams.

  • anon_the_great

    I’ve been hoodwinked. While I’ve been waiting for Andy Kauffman to erupt Alien-like from the fascist yam’s chest it turns out Dr. Borenstein is the raison d’etre of the performance art.

    Bravo. Feckin’ Bravo

  • ViveLaRes

    Claiming that Hillary’s physician violated HIPAA by communicating with this doofus is like saying that Beyoncé had sex with Pee Wee Herman.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    It’s not a HIPAA violation if he’s just pulling things out of his ass. Then it’s merely a violation of biohazard protocols.

  • InjunTrouble77

    If Trump gets elected, he could be our next Surgeon General! Or maybe he could head the FDA?

  • ViveLaRes

    LOLOLOL. Around 11:00 the wife starts getting really worried about her cushy lifestyle melting away in a big fat malpractice lawsuit.

    • Objectifer

      He’s a brilliant diagnostician!

  • whitroth

    Don’t be ridiculous. The only folks even near modern medicine with stone knives are the rabbis for a bris.

    And about HIPAA… I work as a contractor for a federal gov’t organization that deals with health, and I have to have my annual HIPAA and PII refreshers *every* *year* – actually twice, once from my company, and once from the feds. When, if ever, has this guy ever taken the course? I mean, it’s online, doesn’t take half an hour (well, in his case it might….)

    • Jenvenda Manocide

      Classes on ethics are for little people.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    If my doctor found me positive for everything, I’d be cutting a deal for a cheap burial at sea. All I’m sayin’.

  • Doug Langley

    I just can’t put my finger on why this talk about Bornstein makes me think of this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFn_agxmatg

  • Mehmeisterjr

    It would be a relatively easy matter to determine whether Doc B signed a blank piece of paper by submitting the original document to a forensic document examiner.

    Oops! It just got torn into pieces, burned and flushed down a toilet. Life is funny!

  • Panika MCD

    gastroenterologists now to mental health evaluatons, also too?

    • Mezzaluna

      With Trump involved, it’s assholes all the way down.

  • Roadstergal

    This guy and Wakefield. Do the methane fumes make gastroenterologists go nuts?

  • Aquaria

    This guy reeks of being a Candy Man, the kind who gives out prescription meds like they’re candy.

    • Alan

      Oh, I thought you meant the kind who offers candy to little girls.

    • cat cafe

      Yep, I grew up in Berkeley and we called doctors like this “Dr. Feelgood.”

  • kaydenpat

    No one is shocked that Trump’s doctor is a Weirdo.

    • cat cafe

      Or a dishonest fraud.

  • Beowoof14

    Not knowing shit seems to be Yuge with Trump and his associates. And Kudos on the Independence Day Dr. relate, they do appear to be the same guy.

  • handyhippie65

    damn dok, now i haz a sad. i will really miss gene wilder. RIP. best willy wonka, ever.

  • Longstreet63

    Yeah, i’d kinda avoid a doctor who looks like that. Unless I needed help with my Delorean.

  • lovelydestruction

    I recognized something watching this. I was once a Health Department RN, and I was roped into doing a local TV interview that I did not want to do. That posture, dismissively head on hand; that expression, disengaged and irritated: that is what you get when your sacrificial lamb is cooperating under duress. “You have to” “I will, but you’re not going to like it” I couldn’t have looked more disrespectful to the entire process. LOL I was never asked to do another TV interview.

  • lovelydestruction

    “…we’ve had plenty of very disturbed people [as president]…” So, what’s one more? Get with the program, people!

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