SHARE

foxnewsmakeupolympics

One of the most pressing issues of the Olympics thus far has been the cosmetic choices of female Olympians. Earlier this week, NBC did some serious investigative reporting on the mystery of how the nail polish many of the swimmers were wearing was not chipped. Very important issue! Definitely something the people need to know!

Fans not only cheered on Stanford University’s Katie Ledecky for her swimming miracles this week, but some were also in awe of her nails. Ledecky clapped her gleaming red-and-blue nail polish to her smiling face after she won her second gold medal Tuesday night, a sight that made many question aloud: How did she keep her nails from chipping? Jamberry nail wraps, maybe? Stickers? Shellac?

Sadly, the article “investigating” this phenomenon failed to come up with any answers. Were they using voodoo or something to keep their nail polish on? Or cupping? Maybe a side effect of that cupping stuff is that your nail polish stays on longer? Oh, or it could be that they used a good base coat and a good top coat? Or because they got no-chip gel manicures? But that would be far too simple, and then you wouldn’t have a stupid article about the magical and mysterious non-chipping nail polish of Olympic athletes.

Then, there was this “Should Female Olympians Wear Makeup?” segment on Fox’s “Sports Court,” featuring former New York city detective Bo Dietl and conservative radio host Mark Simone. It was certainly interesting, especially for those of us who have always wondered what Bo Dietl thought about what we should be doing with our faces. Which, we think, is probably no one.

Tamara Holder, the show’s host (who, full disclosure, is a friend), opened up the segment:

We all know the old adage ‘sex sells.’ Well now, female Olympians are sexing it up more than ever by wearing makeup during their competitions. Some say this is about empowerment. Well, really? Do women who are elite athletes need to wear makeup to feel stronger, or is it simply a fashion statement?

The segment intended to address a recent USA Today article, “The empowering reasons why female athletes are wearing makeup during the Olympics,” which, despite the eyeroll of a headline, was sort of nice and cool and had a neat story about runner Shannon Rowbury wearing red or pink lipstick as an homage to her Nonnie. Most of the women interviewed wore makeup for the same reason we wear makeup, and we are basically a Professional Feminist. They like it and think it’s a fun way to express themselves. As far as we’re concerned, this should be the end-all and be-all reason to wear makeup. And it’s all good, so long as we also work toward making sure there isn’t a mandate to wear makeup and that women who choose not to are allowed to embrace their own choice.

Guest Mark Simone, an avid Trump supporter, was pretty sure these ladies participate in the Olympics is to get jobs as spokesmodels:

The whole point of the Olympics, the whole reason for this training, for this work to get there is product endorsements. Cosmetic companies are opening up a ton of revenue for product endorsements.

Really? Is that the whole point of the Olympics? Because man, if it is, these women would have been a lot better off learning how to be a model or just look like one at the Barbizon Modeling School than dedicating their entire lives to athletics in order to compete in the Olympics. Sure, sponsorships are a great way for these athletes to earn money, but that seems like a secondary goal, at best, to winning an Olympic medal. Are male athletes only into what they do for the sponsorships? We think not!

Bo Dietl, however, felt the makeup was necessary specifically because his delicate sensibilities would be traumatized by seeing a woman without makeup:

I think when you see an athlete, why should I have to look at some chick’s zits? Or some guy’s zits, Why not a little blush on her lips? And cover those zits! I like to see a person who wins that gold medal go up there and look beautiful.

Yes, how could Bo Dietl possibly be expected to enjoy the Olympics if the underage girls he watched doing backflips had acne? Ew! Can you even imagine? He could be scarred for life! Wearing makeup is just the considerate thing to do, which is of course why Bo Dietl walks around looking like a male supermodel all the time. He tried to qualify his statement by saying men ought to wear makeup too, because Michael Phelps shouldn’t walk up there looking like a white rag either.

Holder questioned a statement from the USA Today piece from Rowbury, the runner, that she wears makeup in order to empower young girls, asking whether little girls need athletes to wear makeup in order to inspire them to wear makeup. Here is Rowbury’s quote:

You can be a strong, athletic, courageous woman and you can wear lipstick. I like being able to be all those things or try to help inspire young women to be all those things. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. It’s a form of expression, especially in track and field where my uniform is provided by my sponsor (or the USOC). I basically have my uniform and my shoes and there’s not a lot of expression that’s allowed and there aren’t many ways to show your personality. I like that lipstick is a way that won’t detract from my performance and it puts me in my happy place before I start the race.

Which is a reasonable thing to discuss! There are already a lot of women out there wearing makeup and probably not a lot of little girls wondering if they will ever be able to do so themselves. Because of course they can, EVEN little girl athletes. No one is out there saying, “Hey, athletic women! Who said you could wear makeup?” The two are not mutually exclusive, is what we are saying.

Holder pointed out that Anna Kournikova got more money in sponsorships than Serena Williams, to which Simone responded that this was because the “real” money was in cosmetic sponsorships and not Wheaties boxes, clearly not understanding where the conversation was supposed to be headed. The two men agreed it was just the way of the world that better looking people are more celebrated, and that this was not a thing that needed to change for any reason. Because, as Dietl noted, no one wants to see a woman accepting a gold medal looking like a “washed up dishrag.” This is a man, clearly, who hates a dishrag.

While it seems unnecessary to talk more about the way female Olympic athletes look than about their abilities and talents, there is absolutely a conversation to be had about blonde, white athletes getting more money in sponsorships than women of color do. There’s a conversation to be had about how many of these athletes may feel pressured to present themselves a certain way in order to secure sponsorships, when it sure would be nice if they were being celebrated for their athletic abilities rather than their appearances, since you’d assume that would be the whole point of getting an Olympic athlete to promote your brand anyway. Especially given that this is not a thing male athletes have to concern them with. In no way, however, were Mark Simone and Bo Dietl qualified to be having this conversation, and they should probably not ever speak of it again.

To be fair, they were already booked to do the show, and speak on a different topic altogether, and the topic was changed a few hours before the show was set to air. Still, we are pretty sure we can go the rest of our lives without Bo Dietl ever again airing his opinions on what people should look like.

If you are interested ladies, shockingly, they are both single.

[Sports Court]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Ms.MLG1979

    And the Gold Medal for excellence in sexism, category, Reducing Women To Their Appearance While Ignoring Their Talent and Hard Work, goes to-

    Dietl and Simone!

    • gedjcj

      The competition was fierce!

    • calliecallie

      Another Simone wins gold? Will it ever end?

    • Aquaria

      It’s kind of sad that we actually got more respect as athletes in the 70s than we do now. There simply wasn’t this focus on looks like there is now.

      Not that a huge reason for why Nellie Kim or Nadia Comenici got so much more attention from the media than, say, Olga Korbut, didn’t involve how pretty or cute they were in comparison (it definitely did play a role), but not like this. And not in this stupid and juvenile and just plain catty way.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    There’s a shadow Olympics running in tandem with the Rio one. It’s the Olympics of “Who can say the dumbest shit about the female athletes?” Strong contenders so far include whoever okayed a headline about the first African-American swimmer to win a gold medal (her name is Simone Manuel) that read “Michael Phelps Shares Olympic Gold with African American” and gasbag Al Trautwig refusing to call Simone Biles’s parents her parents because her adoptive dad is also her grandpa.

    • Spotts1701

      Yeah, NBC should catch flak for deciding it wasn’t important at all to carry the ceremony where she got her gold medal until after 11pm. Had to have that time to do another in-depth piece on Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte after all since there hasn’t been enough reporting on them in the last 8 years (Did you know they are both friends and rivals? Amazing reportage!).

      • Shan the Libtart

        After 11pm is fine. Everybody knows women don’t sit down to watch TV until at LEAST10:30…..after the dishes are done and the kids are put to bed and they’ve done the ironing and allowed their hubbies a quickie before he turns in for the night.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I knew the men’s gymnastic team must’ve been having a tough night when the coverage of their team finals didn’t start until 11:40 p.m. and was done by 12:00 with two commercial breaks!!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I know that when I tune in for news of the Olympics, I always try to find stories about the athlete’s nail polish. But that’s because I’m a girl, so I’m just like that. Ovaries cause it. You can’t explain it.

  • Unless a person is wearing too much orange makeup, I say, who am I to judge, or more importantly, who am I to talk about them.

    • I Only Like Cats
      • PubOption

        They weren’t sprayed at Earl Scheib.

      • They all look just fine to me. My comment was meant to be a Trump joke.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I’m a little ascared of the orange lips on the first girl.

          • Vericima

            Shiny will do that to ya.

          • eddi

            Professional model about to hit the runway, I think. The middle one has that classic Egyptian cat’s eye look doing just fine. The last lady I think someone saturated the picture. Her lips look flat colored with no shading or highlight.

        • I Only Like Cats

          I know, but you didn’t say “tanning” so it was fair game.

      • Aquaria

        I look like death warmed over in orange. I can wear it if it’s mixed in with some other colors like blue or white or even black, but never by itself.

        • I Only Like Cats

          I look awesome in warm colors. Which is why most of my clothes are grey black, and blue. I look like Typhoid Mary in grey.

          • Aquaria

            Gray, black and blue are cool, not warm, colors.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Grey and black are neutral, but that’s my point. All of my flattering clothes are in a box somewhere.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          I’ve stopped blaming it on the colors. They don’t care.

  • Painter of Goats

    “Coming up after the men’s 200 semi-finals we will watch the US women’s gymnastics team get a bikini wax. See how they prepare for those amazing close-ups!”

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Fuck this noise. When these yakking airheads compete at the Olympics, then maybe they’ll have some standing to comment. Until then STFU, nobody’s interested in your opinion.

    Then there was the Mexican gymnast that the talking heads were body-shaming earlier in the week. Because they are such elite athletes.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Absolutely right on the money.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    You know what would get even more women to watch the Olympics? Would be if they had a cookoff. Or gave tips about how to find better daycare. Perhaps they could have vacuuming events, or a Dust-Off.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Panel discussion on whether you can really have it all – career and family.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        And who wore it better: Jennifer Aniston or Gabby Douglas.

    • nothingisamiss

      And c’mon…I want to know who they’re dating, and tips on how to get that special male athlete to LOOOOVE me!

    • Aquaria

      I can’t speak to the other sports all that much, but I always thought with gymnastics that explaining the different moves, and what it is that judges are actually looking at would help people enjoy them more. Most people don’t know what makes one mistake-free effort a 9.7 while another mistake-free performance gets a 9.9, or whatever the scoring mechanism is these days (which I haven’t kept up with because it confuses the fuck out of me). What is it that makes a pike so much different from a tuck and roll? Why is it considered so much more difficult. That sort of thing.

      Maybe go into the physics of why gymnastics works the way it does would also be interesting. And maybe, for personal interest, show what a real schedule for an athlete in training looks like, day to day.

      Or talk about the financial burdens that families take on when they have a child who wants to be an Olympian.

      These broadcasts also don’t address some of the controversies in sports like gymnastics, such as the high rates of certain injuries, and how the injuries and their incidence rates have changed over the years.

      If the networks really wanted to go out on a limb, they could try covering serious issues like the pressures on female athletes, especially, to be at shockingly low body weights, or how they’re intentionally pushed NOT to get their periods to make them “look right” for a particular sport, or to (supposedly) enhance their performance. Look at the abuses of diuretics, methamphetamines, and steroids, even for children as young as 10 or 11, that are definitely going on out there. Those issues weren’t so much of a problem in my day, but these things are definitely going on right now.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Our current Olympics coverage is the result of men thinking they know what women want. An NBC executive said that more women than men watched the Olympics, and, while men wanted results, women were more interested in the journey. That’s why we have to have a soap opera story for every athlete featuring every obstacle they had to overcome to reach this point.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Every female TV executive who got passed over for a job so the current numbskulls could get the positions has a soap opera story, too. The president of NBC should try listening to them sometime. He might be compelled to let one of them decide what female viewers want.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Looks like everyone’s gone home early for the weekend, doesn’t it? That’s okay, ladies – we’ll just settle in here and have a gab-fest and braid each other’s hair. That’s how we females roll, amirite?

    • Shan the Libtart

      Could you do my eyeliner for me? I’m really terrible at it. Always end up looking like I just got caught out in a thunderstorm during my heroin nod.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’d love to help, but I’m just so busy getting the house dusted and the bed linens aired so I can start cooking dinner before my menfolk get home!

        • Ms.MLG1979

          They get real mad when dinner’s not on the table on time, and you still need to put a little blush on your lips!

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            And it’s really hard to get the table set while your nail polish is still wet. I wish they could be a little more understanding about that.

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Who needs hopes and dreams when you have nail polish and a casserole to make?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            To say nothing of getting yourself wrapped up in Saran Wrap and nothing else (besides makeup, obvs). Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman!

          • Cindyinencinitas

            What? No pearls?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            He’ll give you a pearl necklace.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Awww. That’s nice.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            It’s how you know he cares.

          • Jukesgrrl

            I’ll never forget that insane piece of advice as long as I live.

        • Shan the Libtart

          What? You don’t have “people” for that?!

          Fuck, neither do I. I call that my Second Shift. It starts in about an hour.

        • Beowoof14

          Damn I would be in serious trouble if that was my expectation when I got home.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Pro tip: don’t try to put eyeliner on when you’re driving on the freeway in rush hour. Oh the battles I have with my impulsivity over this.

        • Shan the Libtart

          Wouldn’t think of it. I drive a stick shift.

    • Speaking as a guy, I am beginning to feel really guilty. And I don’t even do these things y’all are joking about.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I was just kinda shaking my head at myself . . . obviously this topic’s got me all fired up!

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Try it! Start by sitting down to pee.

        • I do actually, the thought of cleaning up urine splashes kind of grosses me out. (By the way, I meant that I don’t do the things they were joking about men doing, or at least I hope I don’t.)

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Of course you don’t. And good on ya for sitting down, FFS!

          • Zyxomma

            My male roommate does the same. I NEVER have to worry about him leaving the seat up, which is the best.

  • Spotts1701

    I think if my eyes roll any harder I’m going get a nice close look at the back of my skull. I watched the all-around finals last night, and I was more impressed with watching those petite young ladies (ESPN pointed out that Ali Raisman, at 22, is jokingly called “grandma” by Simone Biles and the rest of the team) pull off acrobatic and strength moves that are simply astounding than I was about their fashion or cosmetic choices.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I watched in awe. Some of those women are so tiny they didn’t even need to bend their knees to swing around the high bar without hitting the lower one. That was about as far as I got in judging their appearances. Sad. Pathetic.

  • cmd

    Ok, so I use a sponge to do my dishes instead of a dishrag, so I guess I should aspire to look like it.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Full disclosure: I did actually notice and admire Simone Biles red, white and blue sparkle eyeliner and I remarked to my husband how much I liked it. It was pretty fab. Still, I’m not thinking that’s a news-worthy topic.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9c5acd3f6158f4a8f15e314c9fd51e1ed594ab199d82c97a6cd498e5b6b04262.jpg

    But damn, she’s so flippin’ (get it?!) cute. I want to hug her, in a non-creepy motherly sort of way.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      IKR? I want to make her a quilt. She’s always so positive. It’s infectious!

      • onedollarjuana

        You think she ever sits still enough to use a quilt?

    • Ms.MLG1979

      I notice and admire women’s appearances all the time. We’re fucking beautiful. I just don’t think that’s ALL we are.

      • Totally agree. Noticing the good things in a person’s appearance is fine. Focusing on the good parts of their personality and achievements is what makes me really like them.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Those gymnasts really pile on the makeup. I think it makes them look weird. They look pre-teen but then they sex themselves up with gobs and gobs of garish makeup. It’s like they’re trying to preserve their femininity by balancing out the muscles with makeup. It’s cool if you have muscles, girls. We are still able to notice that you’re girls.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I thought they did it so their features would show up on camera. And I love Simone’s glittery under-eye liner.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Some of it’s pretty, but idk.

        • Aquaria

          You can do that without looking like a clown.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Teen girls experimenting with makeup? GTFO. That is unpossible.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Except somehow they all arrived at the same look. i think it’s part of the uniform.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            I think you are right. I was watching the NCAA girls gymnastics this year and noticed that they wore little to no makeup. I’m beginning to think it’s more of an individual sport cultural phenomenon. I’ll leave you with a quote from my eleven year old, who’s a gymnist. “Leave it alone dad. You’re a boy and wouldn’t understand. Besides, if boys wore makeup it would probably be something even stupider, like camo stripes or glitter that’s supposed to blood or something.”

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Sounds like you get to live with a being whose scorn will be right around every corner for the next few years. But so precious and it’s over in the blink of an eye.

      • Aquaria

        I knew or was at least nodding acquaintances with most of the gymnasts of the 70s, and Nellie Kim was the most beautiful of all of that era’s gymnasts, IMO. She was even prettier in person than Nadia Comenici, and she didn’t need a shit ton of makeup to be beautiful, either, although of course she wore some for major events, as all of us did back then, to keep from looking washed out on camera. This was pretty typical makeup for the era, just enough to enhance, but not enough to overpower:

        https://i.ytimg.com/vi/cBuCDBCNmSE/0.jpg

        And this was very close to how she looked, day-to-day, when we were working out or hanging out during breaks:

        http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/nellie-kim-mike-flynn.jpg

        Not that I knew her or could talk to her at all (the KGB didn’t let us near the Russians, for the most part), but I so wanted to be her…

        • Christopher Smith

          Sadly, Nelli Kim’s appearance was vastly at odds with her behavior–she actually managed to garner a suspension for her appalling cheating as a judge. In the bad old days (for East bloc chicanery in gymnastics–don’t get me wrong; the gymnastics itself was wonderful and in so many ways better than now) this was unheard-of. My theory is that her jealousy of better gymnasts (and her irritation that she was only gifted with ONE undeserved AA title in a big competition–wow, that Ft. Worth result was disgusting!) carried over into her ugly, ugly ‘judging.’ She’s almost as vile as Ellen fucking Berger (the East German Bitch of Buchenwald wannabe who screwed the US team out of their rightful bronze in 88) and, sadly, Kim is still in power, which is OBSCENE.

          • Aquaria

            Yeah, she was a terrible judge, but she was a lot different back then than she became later. And remember that in 1973/1974, before anyone really knew how good the Romanians were, Nellie Kim was essentially the future princess of gymnastics, everyone knew she was to be the Russians’ next Olga Korbut (who was a terrific gymnast), only to have Nadia and the Romanian girls take over in 1975, as if from nowhere. I mean, who had heard of the Romanians before that first big world championship in 1975, outside of the junior circuit gymnastics community? Nobody, that’s who.

            And it wasn’t like Nellie wasn’t better than the rest of us in that up and coming category (outside of the Romanians, as we later learned). I got to see how good she was, up close, and she was every bit as talented as advertised.

          • Christopher Smith

            I couldn’t agree less. She was vastly less talented than hyped, and virtually the entire team was better than Kim in 1980. Shapo was a GODDESS; Kim was a diva who received inflated scores for her attitude (god knows why.) Korbut was vastly superior even in 76 and Tourischeva, who was slightly past her prime, was infinitely more balletic and graceful to watch that year as well. I will not even go into the technical superiority of Ungureanu and Eberle as well as Comaneci.
            Sorry. You made no case for Smelly. She still stinks.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Look at the doe eyes on that girl! Hypnotic!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Laurie Hernandez, who is a talented world-class athlete, has amazing eyes. Which I say out of full respect for what she’s accomplished and what she contributes to the US gymnastics team.

      http://67.media.tumblr.com/3c26d80b9f969e46def9ee4cd39bdb94/tumblr_o69t4oNxEP1tp75uso3_540.gif

  • Not sure if this going to work, but I am going to try and link to a video that really seems to fit with this topic (in my mind at least). https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video/CproJ-XWgAAHsi4.mp4

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That took me to a site to download Windows media player, but it could be my computer!

      • Sorry, it is working on mine. It is a weightlifter making a pretty awesome lift, dropping the bar, lifting her hands to celebrate, then breaking into a smile as she makes a heart symbol with her hands. (I got it from twitter.)

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I love that heart symbol thing. Especially in an international event, where we don’t all speak each others’ languages.

          • Spotts1701
          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            I did! If we’d let the tiny females be in charge, the world would be better in a lot of ways.

          • Blank Ron

            And THAT is the one and only reason the Olympics have any meaning at all.

          • Let’s see if this works:

            get you a girl who can do both pic.twitter.com/1kwlopIOzQ— sick (@TheMaxxProject) August 12, 2016

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Awesome! Thanks :)

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Such a cute smile!

          • Doug Langley

            That’s a snatch at a smidgen over 205 pounds. Not record breaking, but excellent for a woman.

          • That is excellent for 95% of humanity.

          • Doug Langley

            Most folks can’t even deadlift that much.

  • Land Shark

    Good gawd, y’all …. the vacuousness of these nimrods make black holes look positively friendly.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Yup.

      • Land Shark

        Been watching the BBC coverage of their team. It’s about the athlete … not about the athlete’s fashion.

        Make them run a Usain Bolt 100m dash … then they might have something of merit to say.

        • Brian

          BBC has really been great. They’ve got 7 channels with different sports on all of them all day. And the announcers actually occasionally don’t speak. Sometimes they show an event without an announcer at all.

  • Scooby

    At least we now know why Bo Dietl eats alone at Arby’s every night.

    • I Only Like Cats

      This article and he eats at Arby’s. Arby’s is where most people draw the line.

      • Shan the Libtart

        I wouldn’t feed my dog Arby’s. If I had a dog.

      • Scooby
        • Cindyinencinitas

          He obviously knows what he’s talking about. I mean, he has a flag pin. That makes him an expert on every topic.

          • Scooby

            His corpulence suggests a cornucopia of sandwich related experience.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Is that who that is? I used to wonder, in a kind of I-don’t-really-care way.

          • Scooby

            He was a cop who wrote a book about how great a cop he was.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Oh! So he’s a comic.

        • Aquaria

          This is absolutely the last person who should be commenting on anyone’s looks, given how he looks like the rear end of a dog, shaved.

      • PubOption

        They have… the losers.

  • I Only Like Cats

    This is almost as stupid as that time Jenna Marbles had to splain to a “journalist” how a sports bra functions.

  • Señor Skwerl

    All athletes should compete naked and without body hair. Except the Italians.

    • Shan the Libtart

      Italians keep the body hair?

      • Señor Skwerl

        Yes

        • Shan the Libtart

          And the South Indians. I think it would be cruel to get rid of all that lovely chest hair.

          • Señor Skwerl

            For you, I will allow it.

          • Shan the Libtart

            That was more for THEM really. Can you imagine how painful it would be to WAX all that?

          • Hairstrike Alpha

            So I went to search out South India because I’m not familiar with the area and saw this picture, look for me in my bunk:

          • Shan the Libtart

            I don’t think she needs to worry about waxing her chest hair.

          • Hairstrike Alpha

            I should say not…I just think it’s funny that I typed in South Indian and my search in images turned up that lady first and I was like, “suddenly I’m not interested in reading about South India anymore”.

    • Nightcrawler

      It is in fact impossible for Italians to be without body hair. It grows back very quickly. I have personal experience.

    • efoveks

      Originally, that’s how it was done. We should start a campaign, call it “in keeping with the Olympic Spirit”. What could go wrong?

  • Arse Grammatica

    I eagerly await stories about male athlete package arrangement.

    • Shan the Libtart

      My boss just got back from Rio yesterday. I’ll see if he has any pictures for you.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        “Asking for a friend…”

        • Shan the Libtart

          Probably all of women, anyway. On the company-sponsored cruise I took many years ago, they allowed us to bring a +1 and mine came back with a camera FULL of pictures of OTHER women’s T&A. It was “for his friends” he said. Lulz…not that I cared. It just seemed silly.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Well…It is interesting how peoplez can find interest in the various arrangements of various packagez, even despite just as for academic observationz

            Though, I have heard that the study of swimsuit fabrics can be quite fascinating. I hadn’t heard of a batch of guy pals who shared the interest. It was quite liberal of you to not mind… or mercy, think those photos were of packagez rather than fabrics…

            Of course, this all bringz to mind the adage about time in the wild outdoorz… take only picturez, leave only….

          • Lambsendbeds

            Candy bar wrappers?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it kinda works

    • JMP

      Considering the outfits for the women in beach volleyball, shouldn’t the men be wearing speedos?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Have you seen the joking about the way the score box covers the men’s “packages” in diving, making it look like the networks are blurring out NSFW stuff? It’s pretty funny.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    I’m investing heavily in the Homer Simpson Second Amendment Olympic Make-up Gun in case Trump gets elected.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gId2HsHvSgs

  • bubbuhh

    Bo Dietl should cover his dick with lipstick and have a porcupine suck it off.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Probably the first time he’s ever had lipstick on his dick.

      • John Smith

        Not a porcupine though!

  • whitroth

    So, is Donald Trump wearing makeup, and if so, what brand are they using on him? (Or just dusting his face with talcum powder?) Does he have clear nail polish on, to protect them? And what brand of shoes does he wear, and how much did they cost?

    For values of “news” approaching negative numbers.

  • Msgr_Moment

    I think all professional wonkette writers should wear makeup. Lookin’ at you, Dok and Evan!

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Well, for Evan that’s just another Saturday night but I don’t know about Dok. I hear he’s a furry. I’m not saying he is but a lot of very reputable people are talking about it.

      • kbbaldwin2

        I think I read something on the internet about that.

  • Brian

    Here’s the conversation they’d have if they weren’t wearing make-up.

    “Why do these women want to look like men? So many muscles and no make-up!”
    “Right, no make-up, that’s because most of them are lesbians, of course.”
    “Ha, ha, of course. Even the ones with kids.”

  • Toadette

    Because everyone seems to care, I use MAC.

    Oh, you mean we’re going to enforce stereotypes on female athletes like we always do instead of talking about make up? My bad.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    If you bring two dumbass Trump supporting wingnuts onto your show brace yourself for MASSIVE amounts of sexism. I mean look at their overlard, the guy hits on and cops a feel with his own daughter.

  • OddMan

    There was just an article in the LA Times that said the coverage of the Olympics has been sexist all over the world. We have all become Fox™.

    She’s ‘old, for a woman’: Media around the world condemned for sexist Olympics coverage
    http://www.latimes.com/world/la-fg-sexist-olympics-coverage-20160810-snap-story.html

    • Skadi

      South Korean news coverage of female athletes as been so cringeworthy I hear people over there have opened a web doc to keep track of all the foot-in-mouth moments.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      The way they kept going on and on about that gymnast being 41? Everyone in the restaurant where I was watching it was laughing and saying 41. Did you know she’s 41? She’s 41! How old is she? 41? No! Like, go lie in a hole in the ground, old lady!

    • Toomush_Infer

      Ummmm…..I believe that’s called Ageism…..

      • OddMan

        Both, big time.

  • Beowoof14

    Bo Dietel is the type of guy I would like to snap a dish rag in his face. With votes of course.

  • Nightcrawler

    I’m not sure if Fox news are the ones who should be commenting on this topic….

    • JoeChristmas

      Roger on that good buddy.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        ISWYDT

    • Señor Skwerl

      I’m sure Tammy Faye would have been a consultant on FOXNews if she was still alive.

  • gene108

    I can’t wait for the NBC announcers to start interjecting make-up tips into their Olympic broadcasts.

    Announcer1: “you know, she grew up on a farm and struggled to survive after a tripe of chimpanzees murdered her father and bit of her mother’s legs”

    Announcers2: “yes, it’s a testament to human spirit that she’s here. But I must say, she’s doing a great job centering the ball, but she could use a bit more eye-liner.”

    Announcer 1: “well I don’t think you want too much eyeliner, since the sweat can get it into your eyes, but a bit of foundation and blush wouldn’t hurt.”

    Announcer 2: “well you know America has a great tradition. I remember Pam Jones, when she just went with lipstick in the 1984 games. She was my teammate.”

    Audience: TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING SPORT, I DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT AND EDUCATE ME ON THE INTRICACIES OF WHY WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS SO DAMN IMPRESSIVE.*

    * Applies to any sport at the Olympics as it is right now.

    • theCryptofishist

      This would have been particularly with the decathletes in Montreal.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Why is this hard? Journalists covering the Olympics should focus on whether the athletes are faster, higher, stronger, and that’s it.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      A camera shot of a speedo every now and then is not a bad thing.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I’m totes OK with objectifying the male athletes. Which may make me a hypocrite.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          I like the cyclists. You can shamelessly ogle their bulges squishing around on their bike seats. Fun!

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Partial to the wrestlers myself.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            I can see that. What with all the “contact.” The struggling bit kinda turns me off.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I’m only interested in the singlets, to be honest. They can skip the actual wrestling part.

          • Aquaria

            It’s the part I like best.

            Then again, my ex-BIL was a former member of the USA wrestling team, so I got to watch a lot of wrestling matches.

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            Did you hear that the WWE is going to start promoting gay characters? I’ve said for years the professional wrestling is the gayest thing on TV.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I dunno. MMA is pretty homoerotic. Though, now I think about it, maybe there’s a difference between “gay” and “homoerotic.” I’ll need to think about this in my, uh, bunk.

          • Shan the Libtart

            But they must get THE worst case of swamp-ass.

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            At Atlanta, I took home the gold in bicycle seat sniffing!

          • Paperless Tiger

            Growing mushrooms, I think they call it.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Right? That’s gotta hurt. I hope their little packages don’t chafe…

          • theCryptofishist

            How do you think Armstrong got testicular cancer anyway?

          • Cindyinencinitas

            He got it from smushing it around on a bicycle seat?

        • Shan the Libtart

          I’ve had to think about that recently, too. And I came to the conclusion that objectifying male athletes (or males in general) doesn’t carry the same meaning because it doesn’t have the same history or effect on them or the other men who hear it. Because women have been objectified for centuries at the expense of their ambition, talent, actual achievements, humanity and sometimes their very lives.

          Objectifying men doesn’t do that and never has. It’s currently an afterthought, mostly just a quick joke as in the above vid posted by Incoming Ham, precisely because the questions are so wildly different from what they’re accustomed to. Men are used to being taken seriously about their involvement in and efforts regarding their sport, or whatever other goal they’ve achieved or are trying to.

          So, no. I don’t think you’re a hypocrite. And I also think objectifying women would probably be perfectly fine by me IF (and this is a BIG IF,) that isn’t the main scrutiny they’re subjected to and they are also otherwise being treated as earnestly as their male counterparts are regarding their individual agency and industry. And even then, I can’t guarantee it wouldn’t still get my feminist knickers in a bit of a twist. But it sure would make it a lot less creepy.

          • theCryptofishist

            Since I’m reading about slavery, I have to say that there can be uncomfortable looking at black (it’s the olympics, so they aren’t all african american) men as well…

    • Alan

      Disagree. Call me bad.

  • The thing I love about the Olympics is the sheer physical diversity on display. You get tiny little gymnasts and then big folks doing shot put and weightlifting and stuff. Long-legged runners, rowers with massive triceps, sleek divers, and then some Gregor Clegane looking dude doing the hammer throw.

    And yet there are undoubtedly armchair doctors out there thinking that those big meaty folks are somehow inferior to the gazelle ones even though they’re both in peak physical condition for their respective sports and bodies. Ridiculous.

    • HanBarbara

      And show jumping. It’s pretty amazing to see a 110 pound lady fly around a course on one of those monster warm blood horses. A lot tougher than it looks, but it’s timing, finesse, and courage rather than sheer physical strength.

  • efoveks

    I loved Gabby Douglas’ lipstick. Just saying, whoever told her it looked good was right. :)

  • Also: The problem with sexist Olympics coverage is that most of the people doing these stories are men who usually only cover men’s team sports. Some dude at the local paper whose last 40 stories were interviews with some linebacker or outfielder or other has to go do actual research on WTF the trampoline competition is even about, and gets cranky about it and barfs his bias all over the place.

  • Vecchiojohn

    Ledecky clapped her gleaming red-and-blue nail polish to her smiling face after she won her second gold medal Tuesday night, a sight that … set my heart a-flutter and my loins aflame. As she licked her succulent lips and smiled her sly, ingratiating smile, I knew I’d be doing the breast-stroke in my dreams that night …….

    • phoenix00

      Better story than Twilight

    • Alan

      I didn’t any blush though.

  • Mavenmaven

    Funny that they go on about this, since all the newscasters, male and female, wear makeup on the air.

    • theCryptofishist

      It’s the only way in which they can have any sort of relate-ability, I guess.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    What I’d really like to know is how lady Olympians keep from sweating, because that would be really gross.

    • Vecchiojohn

      A lady doesn’t sweat. She perspires. Have some couth.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        No, no – horses sweat, men perspire – ladies glow!

        • Vecchiojohn

          Oh feathers, I ought to have known that. I do beg your pardon.

        • Skadi

          Is that so? Well I am glowing like a pig right now!

        • phoenix00
        • calliecallie

          I have long been aware of this adage. And yet I much prefer “schvitzing like a curva,” which a friend of mine’s mom taught me.

        • theCryptofishist

          What do women do?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Glows. A lady glows. Or at least Miss Hayworth glows.

    • Aquaria

      I can’t speak for any other gymnast, but my leotard would be soaked after the first event in a competition. We did keep lots of towels at hand to dab at our faces and necks, but the leotards are designed not to show much sweat. Note how so many of them have different color bands along the neckline, for instance. That’s been a practice for ages to mask how much we were sweating.

      Maybe some of these newfangled outfits deal with the sweat in different ways, but color tricks were all we had back in the old days to cover up the sweat.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I would be concerned that anything that’s making you sweat that much is probably also making your ovaries fall out.

        • Shan the Libtart

          Say, you know what else makes us sweat that much?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Equal pay for equal work?

          • Shan the Libtart

            Ha! Very nice, I wasn’t expecting that!

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Women’s gymnastics fascinates me. It doesn’t seem possible to make the human body do the things they make look almost effortless.

    • geoffalnutt

      My cat is named Wazoo!

      • Paperless Tiger

        I have three and they have an olympics every day.

        • Toomush_Infer

          Not…….three balls????….

    • DainBramage

      I cannot watch the balance beam without cringing.

      • Zyxomma

        It was fun back when I weighed 80 pounds or so. I would have kept at it, but my ballet teacher forbade it, and she was quite formidable.

      • Aquaria

        After floor routines, the least painful injuries happen on the beam, believe it or not. You might get a little sore if you dismount wrong, and a fast dismount that you overturn until you land on your head could be a very bad thing, but we usually didn’t get all that seriously hurt from mistakes on the beam.

        The most dangerous equipment has always been the vault and the bars, single or uneven, because they involve such high rates of speed, and how high off the ground the gymnast gets with them. The wrong over/under turn, and you can be in serious trouble, before you know what’s hit you. With the bars, that can be literally hitting you. I knew a girl who overshot part of her uneven bars routine and got a severe concussion from her head hitting the bar. That was scary. Very scary. And I knew one who managed to get about 15 feet in the air from her vault routine, but she underturned and landed on her back on the mat. There was nothing but silence in the gym while we waited to see if she would get up. She did, but she was definitely hurting for a very long time after that.

        • DainBramage

          As a middle-aged guy, I have great respect for gravity. I imagine myself on the beam, then hitting the beam. Ouch!

          I once got injured doing the 5 meter cat chase. My little black cat came running in the backdoor with an evil doppelgänger on her tail (a neighbor’s mean cat). I hopped off the couch to chase the invader out, but my kitty turned around and got under my feet. Instead of kicking her, I went down on the kitchen floor hard. Dislocated my right shoulder.

    • Aquaria

      I assure you that it takes years of practice and working out to make it look so effortless. I would spend at least an hour every single day on weight training back in the 70s, when nobody but female gymnasts did weight training, so that I could have the upper body strength to make something like this look effortless:

      https://cdn0.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/wndR41TO7F1M2Q34REIT0iTQp54=/0x1:4340×2894/1280×853/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/50358695/GettyImages-587131990.0.jpg

  • BMW

    “such sexism. very chauvinist. mansplainy wow.”
    -Feminist Doge

    • berkeleyfarm

      That is funnier than my FEMINIST HULK reaction which was HULK SMASH.

  • idiotboy

    I need to know more about “cupping”, I remember the Editrix writing about this, it has been on my mind about every 15 minutes.

    • DainBramage
    • WhyFelicia

      It’s basically a bunch of hickies on your back. The Chinese swear by it for all kinds of ailments, but I think it’s bullshit.

      • Parchment Scroll

        It can best be explained as “Medieval pseudo-medical bullshit.”

    • Aquaria

      Good grief, what a ridiculous idea. You’ll usually have plenty of damaged tissues as it is, so the last thing you need as an athlete is more of that. You need good blood flow in every part of your body, to maximize your performance.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Hey, Bo Dietl!

    You’re a bit fugly for TV yerself, ya florid fat balding fuck.

  • HanBarbara

    It’s a gel manicure. Your fingertips will come off before that stuff does.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Ah, the lengths FAUX will go to to descend to its viewers….next up: “Owww! My Balls!”…

    • OddMan

      Brought to you by Brawndo™ “It’s got Electrolytes”

  • Apple Scruff

    Anyone who says “Why not a little blush on her lips?” is not allowed to have a single goddamn opinion about women’s beauty routines. Blush is for cheeks, you troglodyte.

    Oh yeah, Flo Jo says FUCK YOU.

    • WhyFelicia

      Thank you. I was beginning to wonder if I was using blush incorrectly.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That’s one way to keep your lane clear.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Robyn, you’re friends with a Fox News host? For reals?

    • Lambsendbeds

      I was wondering about that myself.

    • phoenix00

      INQUIRING MINDS MUST KNOW

    • John Smith

      Robyn’s a mole for the other side. Does she have a history of dating other journalists? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • anon_the_great

    Bo Dietl single!?! Unpossible!

  • Paperless Tiger

    They should compete nude like the Greeks did. Those were the days.

    • Alan

      Might see them sweat.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    “Tamara Holder, the show’s host (who, full disclosure, is a friend)”
    But what about Lumpy? Why won’t anyone make friends with Lumpy?!? Oh sure just because he’s a grating prick with a brain the size of a frozen pea….

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Makeup might help.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Frozen pea LIBELZZ!!!!11!!!!!ZZ!!!11!!!!1

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Tomorrow on Fox, Tucker Carlson blows the lid of the guyliner scandal in Rio.

  • Me not sure

    I hold that doddering old asshole Don Imus personally responsible for foisting the moronic Bo Dietl on an unsuspecting world. The only makeup on Dietl’s face would have had to have rubbed off off Imus’ ass

  • Kathy Taus

    I’ve been stunned by how sexist the NBC coverage has been, not to mention just plain crappy. As for the Fox guys, who cares?

    • Alan

      NBC said something to the effect that women, who are the primary viewers in prime time, are more interested in the human interest aspect than the actual sporting events. I’m paraphrasing of course but it helps explain why their coverage sucks.

      • DainBramage

        NBC both sucks and blows.

        • thenearesthippie

          Interestingly, synchronized sucking-blowing will be an event at the 2020 olympics.

          • calliecallie

            I think a lot of guys will be very interested in that!

      • Shan the Libtart

        Did they ask any actual women what they were interested in?

        • Spotts1701

          Why would they do a durn-fool thing like that?

        • Alan

          Wouldn’t want to tax the poor things.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            They’re busy making sammiches.

      • Callyson

        NBC had the fucking nerve to say that women don’t care if Olympic spoilers are posted. Fuck them with a chainsaw of crappy ratings and reduced advertising revenue FFS.

        • Alan

          Yep, that’s the story.

      • phoenix00

        If it’s the background of the athletes or how they train or how their families, coaches and friends supported them along the way – wouldn’t that be more acceptable human interest aspect-esque stories?

        But no, TMZ up the joint, whydontcha

      • Kathy Taus

        Yeah, I saw that, it was an excuse as to why they were playing everything on delay. But then they pushed most of women’s gymnastics out of prime time. And then they elected to show the US team sitting around waiting for their turn instead of showing the athletes from other countries perform. Verily, coverage sucks

        • John Smith

          That’s so Bo Dietl could finish and clean up.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Exactly the same bullshit that made the Seoul Olympics literally unwatchable. You’d hardly know there were other countries present. And guess what? – It was NBC. That was almost 30 years ago – I guess the new nitwits learned from the old nitwits.

          • Kathy Taus

            Part of their executive training program.

  • vivian

    Do television cameras rot brains or something?

    • Incoming Ham

      I could answer that if I had any left.

  • anna rampage

    Make up and manicured nails on competing women?

    Um, that’s nothing in comparison to this abomination…

    • Lambsendbeds

      Dafuq was THAT???!?!?!?

      • eddi

        A grille. Like a mouth guard but made of precious metal and jewels.

    • Callyson

    • theCryptofishist

      His eyes seem extra glinty. Belladonna?

  • Thaumaturgist

    Why some wear clothes? Weather and fashion.

    • yyyaz

      Meh. Prudes and flopping, and jock straps/bras cure the latter. Prudes, also too.

    • WhyFelicia

      Well, rumor has it that Phrlps could damage the pool floor swimming naked.

  • Incoming Ham
    • Shan the Libtart

      I love their faces.

    • Alan

      Priceless.

  • DainBramage

    I mainly watch the Canadian coverage. They show a lot of events without much commentary.

    • Callyson

      You fortunate person. I should check if my cable company has any Canadian channels…

      …ha ha ha, as if Time Warner would have enough taste to do so. I’m fucking lucky to get BBC America FFS.

      • DainBramage

        I live near Seattle, WA, so maybe Comcast gives us the Canadian channel because of physical proximity. Whatever, it’s good. Except last night when the swimming commentator got Phelps and Lochte confused and called the race for Lochte. Whoops!

    • eddi

      Why is commentary needed? Show the race don’t narrate it. It ain’t radio anymore Cosmo.

      • theCryptofishist

        We lived in England in 72, 73 (and before I was born in 59 or 60 or so) and my mother still fondly remember Wimbleton on the BBC–very little chat, just a “nice shot” now and then.

        American sportscasting seems to be of the “if you talk long enough all sorts of shit comes out of your mouth” school.

        • eddi

          The difference between elegant and crass nicely summed up.

    • WhyFelicia

      “Oh, nice race, eh?”

      “Yup. Well done.”

      (sound of beer cans opening)

    • NorthLeft

      In general, the CBC is less partisan and less intrusive. But still issues with sexism. Penny Oleksiak [winner of four medals for Canada] was questioned at length about her brother who was recently drafted into the NHL. FFS

  • Alan

    What twits.

  • Msgr_Moment

    https://twitter.com/anamariecox/status/764233561515954176

    Get the fuck out of my old state, Ferret Top.

    • Spotts1701

      He’s going to push this “rigged” thing until someone gets killed.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Kornacki just pointed out that he’s losing by double digits in the Keystone State.

        • Callyson

          That is good to know, but I am still going to press for my phone bank to get Pennsylvania numbers to call. Yeah, I know the polling is closer in Nevada, but we can call there on weeknights: let’s take advantage of my Saturday afternoon timeslot to make sure PA tells DT to STFU FFS!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Get VA numbers! We’re a swing state and maybe you get to call me. Look for a Jen and a Baker.

          • Callyson

            Last VA poll I saw said Hillz was smart to pick Tim Kaine. I’ve got relatives in that state, so I am glad to see it turn purple-blue!

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          See, the rigging has already started.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            “More Hillary supporters than Trump supporters will vote – how is that fair?”
            -Poll-Unskewing Idiot

      • AKLynne

        He’s building up to the day he quits the race…presumably before he has to debate Hillary, but definitely before the rigged election happens.

        • jmhm

          Please, not for another month. I really want them to have to fight in court to certify a candidate in forty states, becaue that’s where I want them spending their money while we’re doing downticket races and ballot access.

          Also too, the Come to Jesus meeting? Jesus had to settle for a staffer.

          • eddi

            Three cheers for Donald Trump. The best thing that has happened to the Democratic Party in years. (Don’t fuck it up you dopes)

          • jmhm

            :)

          • kbbaldwin2

            “(Don’t fuck it up you dopes)” Given the proven ability of Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, I am going to be apprehensive as hell until this is all over.

          • eddi

            Ditto. I’m buying a nice pillow for my desk. Just in case the election results go sour.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      No, you nauseating grotesque caricature of a human being, you lose PA because PA goes blue every fucking time.
      Match. Set. Win.

    • Catstro

      Oh, that must be why he referred to Harrisburg as a war zone. Always a lot of voting irregularities in those places, so if he loses PA, I mean…war zone, right?

      • NorthLeft

        I have a nephew who moved from Canada to PA. Based on these comments I am going to get him a helmet and body armour for Christmas. If he makes it until then.

        • Catstro

          Trump was just being a dickhole about Harrisburg. I wouldn’t worry. Unless Trump loses. Or wins. Or if your nephew is in Philly when they win (or lose) a sportsball championship. So maybe, yeah, go ahead and send the body armor and helmet (he will be fine for real though, don’t worry too much auntie).

    • Little Lulu

      Ana Marie Cox = ur-Wonkette. Lest we forget.

  • Callyson

    Earlier this week, NBC did some serious investigative reporting on the mystery of how the nail polish many of the swimmers were wearing was not chipped. Very important issue! Definitely something the people need to know!

    This would be the same NBC where the announcer gave the husband credit for the wife’s fucking gold medal, yes?

    Fuck you, NBC.

  • Callyson

    Then, there was this “Should Female Olympians Wear Makeup?” segment on Fox’s “Sports Court”

    Oh, for fuck’s sake, I can’t believe we are still going on about this in 2016. Can we just agree that female (and male for that matter) Olympians can do whatever the fuck they want about makeup, and move on to talking about the fucking athletic performances FFS?

    • berkeleyfarm

      THANK you.

      • Donnamcreamer2

        <<fb. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!il216r:….,…..

    • eddi

      Yeah. And the head scarf/burqini thing. Could the newsmorans just turn off their mikes unless they have something sports related to blather about and look like fools?

    • phoenix00

      As long as it wins medals!

    • A_Guy_In_Oregon

      I suspect most of these people know nothing about athletics, so they default to something they do know about: looking good for the camera.

      • NorthLeft

        I suspect most of those people don’t know anything about looking good for the camera either. It’s just something they want to talk about because their opinion is so valuable and must be shared with us peons.

        • Bitter Scribe

          I suspect most of these people don’t know anything about anything.

          • kareemachan

            This. Nicely wrapped up into a succinct, pithy synopsis.

      • DainBramage

        Actually, what they know about is ogling young women.

    • jmhm

      I’m gonna say average Joe is welcome to try and tell any of those woman persons how to manage their personal grooming choices. I’m sure the young lady with the hijab and the sword is particularly interested.

      • Elizabethjbly2

        <<fb. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!il603r:….,…..

    • NorthLeft

      Cally, That is precisely the problem. The cohort of stupid and ignorant douchebags do not agree that the subject of other peoples’ appearance is closed. They have not all shared their unique and valuable opinions. Enjoy!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    People on Fox being stupid? Myst be a day ending in day.

  • Mezzaluna

    Then, there was this “Should Female Olympians Wear Makeup?” segment on Fox’s “Sports Court”
    Eyes narrow, nostrils flare. After several moments of mediation on this, the only reasonable response is to ask should Bo Dietl be put out to pasture and why do male athletes need pants?

    • NorthLeft

      Actually, after watching Mr. Dietl in action I would skip the pasture and send him straight to the stockyards…..or ice floe depending on the locale.

  • dshwa

    But there’s no such thing as a Patriarchy or Sexism, right FOXholes?

    • Shan the Libtart

      You’re mixing it up. FOXholes is what there’s no atheists in.

    • bubbuhh

      They Fuxheads.

  • Royal Ugly Dude, Esq.

    They’re simply concerned that the lady athletes are trying so hard to win a medal that they might not be able to land a husband. Is that so wrong?

    • NorthLeft

      Why else would women compete in sports besides to snag a husband? Its not like they are competitive or anything, amirite?

      • kareemachan

        Like a MRS degree at college, they are thinking MRS medals, I guess.

    • BeachLoafer

      And why is sammich-making not an olympic sport?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Call me superficial, but I’m weighting a huge part of my voting on the candidate’s makeup — I mean, if I have to look at that goddamn orange spray-tan with goggle marks for even a minute after election day, I’m moving somewhere without tv reception — Uzbekistan, or maybe Danville.

  • Poly_Ester

    How quickly FOXnews has slipped since Ailes was given the heave-ho. Three weeks ago the question would have been, “Should WE allow women to wear makeup in the Olympics?” and the panel would have been 5 MRAs.

    • jmhm

      Oh, Bo Dietl is worth at least five MRAs.

  • Chris

    They are both single? I’m shocked I tell you, shocked.

    • NorthLeft

      This fact ^^^ affirms my opinion of the good taste of women and gay men in the US.

  • jmhm

    Aw, see, they totally missed the opportunity to ask Bo Dietl the vital fashion question “Hey, Bo Dietl. What foundation do you wear to be the leading thug on human slug Roger Ailes’ very possibly illegal black-funded team of subject intimidation thugs?” or “Hey, Bo Dietl. Does the enforcer for a guy who reportedly runs a string of camera-equipped whores who are trapped in their jobs by blackmail have to wear velour or do they let you wear natural fibers when you’re not on TV.?” or “If an olympian falls in the forest and that mountain of spoiled flesh whose reign of terror you’ve been enabling in a possibly extra-legal fashion falls on top of her without her consent, is it PC bullshit and should she be wearing cover stick?”

    I mean, talk about burying the lede somewhere in the Meadowlands.

    • DainBramage

      Awesome rant! Thank you.

      • jmhm

        Just, seriously, this is what they ask that thug about?

  • Ricky Gay

    gah. that’s all I got.

  • nightmoth

    To quote a favorite philosopher:

  • Portia McGonagal

    Unfortunately, no amount of makeup could cover Bo Dietl.

  • URQ196

    Simone Biles certainly had interesting eye makeup.

    • BeachLoafer

      I thought it was pretty cool, tbh, and I’m not a big fan of makeup. I thought it was a fine expression of “this is who I am” … I mean, on top of that whole “best gymnast ever” thing she’s got going on, which is pretty damned cool in its own right.

      • URQ196

        Her performance was amazing.

        • Smokahontas

          And some girlz like sparkles. All good IMHO.

  • theCryptofishist

    All I can say, is it’s nice not to see Brock Turner.

  • sadboy

    Aside from the obvious issue of why anyone should give a shit about what Bo Dietl thinks about anything, no one in America can watch this thing called “Olympics” between the advertising and the endless puff pieces about every tiny minute detail of the athletes’ lives and backgrounds sandwiched between jerkoffs like these yammering endlessly like a pair of 8 year old Ritalin junkies who ate too many Pixie Stix. Is it possible to be an adult and actually enjoy any spectator sports anymore?

    • ahughes798

      Formula One racing is nice…just 3 low-key Englishmen narrating the races(one is an ex-driver, and one is an ex-mechanic)Not too much backstory stuff, not much puff. And, since there are no female drivers(grrrrrr), no ones going to be talking about make-up.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Some female athletes like to wear makeup, some don’t. That’s so weird! It’s like they’re individuals, each with their own thoughts and stuff about things. And Title IX seems to be working what with all the women winning all the medals this Olympic year. Go girls. And give the lady’s soccer team more money please!

  • Mike Steele

    I’m sorry that such coverage even merits coverage here but sadder still that I’ve either just lost my mind or witnessed what may be the real finale for Daily Beast. Saw an article with dateline of 4 am TODAY which seems to conflate gymnast Simone Biles with swimmer Simone Manuel, mixing both their bios and photos. It’s late and perhaps the heat is making me delusional. someone tell me I’m misreading this piece. If it’s what I think I saw, it’s as unforgivable as the jock-outing debacle which I was checking to confirm had disappeared…

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      Nope, you weren’t imagining it. The intro says “Simone Biles Shows America is Already Great” and refers to her “inspirational feats in the swimming pool.”
      One picture in the article shows Biles on the medal podium after winning her gold in the women’s gymnastics all round event.
      But what the hell, they all look alike, right? Jesus babbling Christ, this is Trumpian level derp.

      • Smokahontas

        Journalisming at its finest!

        • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

          They have changed it. Which still leaves the question: how the fuck do you screw up that badly in the FIRST place!?

          • badphairy

            Be white, don’t care about those who are not.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      pretty much unforgivable.

  • ken_kukec

    “Bo Dietl” — sounds like a ville in Vietnam the Army had to destroy in order to save. I’ve hated that dude ever since he pinched Ray Liotta in Goodfellas.

  • A Bashful Nobody

    I can just imagine me telling Mrs. Nobody to remove her makeup before going to the gym. Yeah,that would hurt.

    • BeachLoafer

      This falls into the broader category of “should you advise your wife on her workout appearance?” to which the answer is almost certainly “no fucking way!”

  • snark-lurker

    Pictures or GTFO oh wait!
    Did you say “underage”?
    In that case…
    What do we know? We haven’t watched gymnasts since we too were underage and as I recall…hold that thought, BRB
    nope nope nope no good: we’re just not into the teeny-bopper scene here anymore.
    WFW moar bettah

    PS & btw: that thing downstairs caught a bunny rabbit and we caught it rubbing bunny against its fapper thing and we told it: “Forget what you read on the innerwebs, that’s not the kind of rabbit they were talking about and beside, ‘rabbits’ are only for girls.”…unless, on second thought, nevermind brb.

    • Smokahontas

      Oh boy! Big day! Make sure to add that to the baby book!

  • NorthLeft

    On behalf of normal menfolk everywhere I must say two things;
    1. I apologize to women everywhere for the incredibly bone headed comments by Mssrs. Dietl and Simone [not to be confused with the Olympic athletes of similar first names] regarding anything besides their areas of expertise, which appear to be nothing at all.
    2. To all other menfolk, normal or not, please pause and reflect before commenting on a person’s [woman or man] appearance. Is what you are about to say sound stupid? Insensitive? Cruel? Stupid? Yes? Then swallow hard and say something nice. There, was that so hard?

  • kev

    wasn’t Bo doing arbys’ commercials not long ago? and when did women start putting blush on their lips?

  • Mike Steele

    Slightly OT, just contacted switchboard at parent company for Daily Beast; the editorial comment voicemail box is not yet full. Since DB cannot tell swimmer Simone from gymnast Simone – even WITH makeup – you might want to share a few words…

  • Parchment Scroll

    You know what would be an interesting discussion, if you want to talk about women wearing makeup at the Olympics? Why don’t men take advantage of this opportunity for self expression? Are they afraid? Are they not allowed?

    This is one of the subtler aspects of misogyny: makeup is a woman’s domain, and a “manly” male athlete wearing makeup would be viewed as “less of a man”, and that is absolutely considered an insult.

    The problem with this idea is that if a male Olympic athlete wore makeup, either they would be the subject of mockery or the story would become about how “brave” they were to do this “as an act of solidarity” with their sister athletes.

    • Aquaria

      Or try covering how many young female athletes have eye infections from the damned makeup running into their eyes all the time from the sweat, or from allergic reactions to it that they endure to make themselves pretty for the rest of us.

      I had a devil of a time finding an eyeliner and mascara that wouldn’t have me break out in hives so that I could look normal on camera, if I were lucky enough for a photographer to take note of my routines.

    • I AM R U

      I’m a cis-gay guy who wears make up. My straight male friends often express jealousy over the fact that I can “get away with” very subtle appearance improving adjustments using make up. When I question why they can’t get away with it too, the response is very informative – they literally consider me more feminine (because I’m a pretty little twink) and therefore able to exist in a more female domain that includes make up. Even though there are literally no actual impediments to a male purchasing and wearing make up in our country, they could just never do it because patriarchal values would label them female and that’s has very insulting implications. It’s toxic.

      • Parchment Scroll

        Very much so. The are a lot of things that “real men” don’t do. And, of course, a lot of idiot dickbags who somehow don’t realize that’s misogyny in action.

        Your example adds homophobia – things “real” men don’t do, relegated to “mere” women, are attainable for you because you’re not a “real” man.

        Fuck “real men”, and not in the fun way.

        • I AM R U

          Exactly.

  • Aquaria

    At one time in my life, I was actually in training for the Olympics as a gymnast. All those things y’all see Simone or Gabby or Ali doing? I used to do them, or try to.

    I gave exactly zero fucks about makeup. Of course, it was the 70s, so that was totally a thing that most people were okay with, especially for girls my age, which was under 16 at the time. There was even the idea that it was debatable if girls under 16 or so should wear makeup at all back then. I didn’t, and nobody thought a single thing about it.

    Considering that I was up at 3:30 a.m. to start my day, at my first work out by 4 a.m., school at 8:15, then more workouts after school to 9 p.m., I simply didn’t have time or energy for makeup. My schedule had to operate with laser precision, because a lot of people were making a lot of sacrifices–or getting paid a fortune–to make me the best athlete I could be. All they asked of me was to focus on being that athlete, and I did. It seems like, despite all the crap I had to put up with to be taken seriously as an athlete in the 70s, that the culture back then at least had more respect for what I was actually doing, rather than concerning themselves with how I looked while doing it.

    • TheGayAgenda

      Excellent point, and I can’t imagine doing any of that- you’re a braver person than I. Also, I tried to upvote you but Disqus won’t let me, because Disqus is dumb.

  • worstcultever

    The Olympics didn’t used to be about this kind of bullshit nonsense. I mainly blame late-stage capitalism, especially its 24/7 hysterical and pornified media, as well as the plain old, age-old fear of women becoming something other than controllable fuckdolls.

  • kareemachan

    NBC has done one fucked-up job of covering the Olympics.

    • nmmagyar

      They always do. But I have no idea how any network could cover all eleventy-gajillion matches/events/heats and whatnots.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        The BBC are having a damned good try.

      • jmk

        I seem to remember ABC having time to cover the athletes of other countries, and sports that weren’t just beach volleyball, gymnastics, and swimming…but then they went and invented that “up close and personal” bullshit, and there went the coverage of the actual sports.

        • nmmagyar

          Sex sells. Which is damn shame when it comes to covering sports.

      • cleos_mom

        They can’t. We attended the 1996 Olympics; being there gives you an idea of how small a snippet you see on TV.

  • The Librarian

    I thought the whole point of wearing makeup was to not look like you’re wearing makeup. If you’ve been sweating buckets or swimming, your makeup is going to come off or run down your face. Lipstick is exempt from this observation.

    Stop expecting women to conform to your warped idealization, NBC gentlemen.

  • lroom

    Evidently I woke up today in 1955. To not talk about the incredible accomplishments of these people and instead obsess over their looks. I feel like Don Draper would look at this shit and be appalled.

    • berkeleyfarm

      Yeah, I’ve been thinking “1975” a lot, but “1955” works.

  • Relativicus

    “Are male athletes only into what they do for the sponsorships? We think not!”

    You have no one to blame but yourself for what follows:

    https://youtu.be/JTMVOzPPtiw

  • ViveLaRes

    Slightly OT. Is it me or are the dresses worn by female news-, weather- and sportscasters getting really really small?

    • Shan the Libtart

      It’s not just you.

    • Smokahontas

      Well, who pays attention to a chick in a pants suit?
      …oh wait.

  • M.E. Lawrence

    Eh–the nail polish is nice, but I’m more concerned with the many, many ways in which male athletes vary the Wide Mohawk.

  • davidbr

    Well some of it is ridiculous. Did you watch any of the gymnastics? I watched a lot of the men’s and
    women’s. You will quickly see they are different. Men wear no make-up
    while some of the women cake it on. Men wear pretty bland uniforms,
    while women wear shiny ones covered in jewels. I heard one announcer say
    the women’s cost $1,200 each and the men’s are only a couple hundred.

    • Strepsi

      Those are male and female prostitutes you’re talking about.

    • jmk

      Those stupid wimmenz… caking that makeup on and insisting on jewels!!

    • cleos_mom

      That was specifically the gynasts’ outfits: those sparklies were from Swarovski.

      I’ll definitely remember next time I get a money beg for the Olympics.

  • Do you think Trump will inspire an entire generation of wingnuts to wear make up and wigs?

    • Cool_North

      Surely orange paint is bound to be popular. Shapeless toupees are not for everyone, though, it’s hard to pull a full Trump.

      • That’s like pulling a full Monty, right? Just like the full Monty, if you got the balls to try it. And, the people wanting to be like Trump are worried about how they look?

        • Cool_North

          Go figure.

  • URQ196

    Robyn forgot to mention in her bio that if she was any hotter there would be two of her.

  • Elizabethjbly2

    <<fb. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!il603r:….,……

  • cleos_mom

    Never knew that FOX viewers think nail polish is water-soluble. Don’t they ever use it?

  • SomeSpikeOwenWannabe

    Why is Bo Dietl a thing? Or for that matter anything?

    Seriously, this guy has been around the fringes of conservative media for over twenty years and I don’t get it at all.

  • motmelere

    Why do people freak out about getting their ass kicked by a girl? Billionaires pay top dollar for that.

  • GEMoore

    I was brought up in the rigorous steel magnolia discipline. My mother, one of the toughest humans I know, would not leave the house looking tacky. And neither did I, when I was with her.

    Many of us wear makeup and dress up, not for the pleasure of these troglodytes (bless their hearts), but to feel confident in stressful times, to face bankers, lenders, and the guy to whom we served lemonade and cookies and talked out of repossessing our car.

    So I guess it really is “war paint”, and as such is not to look feminine and dainty and available to a bunch of inbreds with slimy reptile brains who can make an expensive suit look cheap.

    A woman competing in the Olympics has earned the right to wear or not wear anything she pleases, and these Fox wannabe silverbacks are the least of their concerns.

Previous articleDonald Trump Wonders Why He’d Want To ‘Get Out The Vote.’ Is That Even A Thing?
Next articleMichael Phelps And His Fiancée Have A Gigantic Fight